Vaggie and Angel were originally bisexual, but Viv changed it. Then, with the whole verblase thing, on tik tok, everyone said Charlie is a lesbian, and not the "She's in a lesbian relationship", it's "she's a lesbian" (she was also bi). And finally, Stolas. Don't quote me on it, but someone said he was queer before being changed to gay.
And now any mspec written character is only in gay relationship because she fetisheises then (bonus if mlm), or is in a straight relationship where if they are a woman, they're just there or are a pos; and if you're a man you're the center of attention.
Viv is up there on the misogyny scale with Nikki Minaj.
Tbh I never knew the Vaggie and Angel one. But going back to a comic (I think it’s canon? Idk if it’s even official but oh well) where he comments on charging extra for women, I could see it. (Once more, I cannot remember if it’s still canon or was even an official release so do please tell me if I’m wrong on this.)
Also Charlie has been Bi since day one, I know for a fact that she once dated a guy who belonged to a royal family from Greed and there were even framed photos of it in the pilot to back that up.
And yes Stolas is in fact queer since there hasn’t been any official confirmation that he has fully decided that he identifies as gay (in the context of the story, since he is a fictional character lol)
And yeah it’s clear as day to see how Viv writes women and MLM relationships.
Millie? She’s Moxxie’s wife. Nothing else.
Stella? She’s the evil ex-wife of Stolas. Nothing else.
Loona? She’s Blitzø’s daughter. Nothing else.
Blitzø and Stolas? Rich rapist enslaves lower class worker and that is apparently romantic.
Angel has been enslaved and abused by Valentino? Clearly he should just suck it up cause Husk is also enslaved and abused by Alastor.
It’s just all such a mess
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a halfhearted defense of the gas leak year
aka hot take season four isn't all that bad or actually no okay it kinda is but in fairness a lot of the seeds are there okay.
season three utilizes chang way worse than any other season. imo. and changnesia is the second best chang arc following the original. IMO. I feel like they didn't know what to do with him after he became a spanish teacher and the whole dictator thing feels ,,, very loaded and also just not interesting or funny? it feels boring is what I'm saying. and I will be a changnesia lover until the day I die if changnesia has 10 fans I am one of them if changnesia has one fan it is me etc
and troy/britta started in season 3. and not even subtly? it was a full-on thing that got left for the season 4 writers to have no choice to pull off. and I know ppl feel differently about the troy/britta thing but I just feel like. ok unnecessary. yk? it made it worse and not better BUT that's not season 4's fault!!!
there are good episodes. once I stop thinking oh gasleak year I remember that a good chunk of my most referenced eps and most quoted lines irl are from season 4: delta cubes, britta's sophie b. hawkins dance, routine light switch check, etc? and this season obviously had the Herstory of Dance episode but also the Basic Human Anatomy body swap episode!!! which are two of my faves
it feels different from prev seasons yeah. but also so did season 3? so did season 2? I really feel like this show is unique in how distinct its seasons are in terms of tone and quality idk
and in context of where it's gonna go next... seasons 5 and 6 are good but they are nowhere near as good as the first three, yk? and atp I could say the same thing about season 4 that's all
and like I'm not dumb yk it was a definite quality drop and that just is what it is but it did a lot right. I'm not saying it shouldn't get a bad rep !!! a lot of the characterization undid development from seasons 1-3 and a lot of the episodes rely on gimmicks to a degree that feels cheap and also makes everything like that from previous seasons feel kinda cheap by association? and some of that damage wasn't ever undone
but I feel like. the reason a lot of that damage wasn't undone was laziness. and harmon arrogance like "oh well OBVIOUSLY I'm better so I don't even have to touch that" maybe??? you know??? like kinda riding on his own reputation or something. idk. i'm speculating!!! but by treating season 4 like so blatantly not worth an attempt at redemption and just picking up as if nothing had happened, I think the following seasons suffered!!! in a way they didn't need to!!! it would be DOABLE to recover the character development instead of continuing to flanderize them. it would be DOABLE to return to roots and remind the audience of the heart of the show and what it's about. seasons 5 and 6, especially season 5, feel a little spiteful to me. like underneath it all is a marking-my-territory feeling? and that isn't season 4's fault!!! no matter what problems there are with season 4 you can't deny that it is earnest and heartfelt and genuinely somebody doing their best to make the best thing possible. idk.
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I feel the need to storytime my adventures in finding that stupid tiktok. kinda like truama dumping or something idk.
The first thing I did was check on twitter "wilbur son" "wilbur cousin" "wilbur tiktok". By a stroke of very good luck one of the first few tweets in recent under "wilbur tiktok" was a quote tweet of the original tweet. Here's where the tweet-stealing drama comes in. The tweet about these comments that blew up was NOT the op. the original post only got like 65 like, which is why i think it got misconstrued like it did, because the reposter didnt have the context of the original tiktok. I digress.
The op did not include a link, and nobody shared a link in the comments or qrts. The names on the screenshot were not the usernames so i was almost stumped. almost. at the time i didn't want to message op because i only own a suspicious 0 follower burner account and figured i wouldn't get a response. i also assumed they simply didnt have the link anymore considering they didnt post it under the tweet, which is standard "look at this wild shit on tiktok" etiquette on twt. usually.
so whats a mentally unwell girl to do? log onto her defunct tiktok from 2020 and search up their names of course. i scrolled through like twenty minutes worth of "sophie" and "vivi" before i gained the senses to add "sophie mcyt" that ALSO wasn't helpful tbh, but "sophie quackity (their pfp)" was. I found sophie and they had their likes public, so i went through literally all of them. it felt fucking strange considering they were all of 15 but whatever they had it public in the first place this is investigative journalism at this point. HERES the fucking kicker. the original video was VERY RECENT in their likes, but the thumbnail was of the meme child whom i recognized so i disregarded it. still pissed about that because it meant another 48 minutes wasting time.
anyways. I couldn't find the melodramatic quackityxwilbur "text on slide show" video that i was expecting based on the context in their likes. so then i tracked down vivi. THAT took a lot more digging because unlike sophie, who has 30 thousand followers, vivi has like 70 tops. i had to google search "vivi quackity tiktok" and by dumb luck they showed up as one of the results. this was fruitless because they had their likes private.
after that fucking fiasco and waste of like and hour and a half i decided to suck up my anxiety and dm the og tweet author with my burner. they did respond (shockingly) and offered to look for it. while they were doing so i resorted to searching "wilbur cousin" "wilbur son" "wilbur secret son" "wilbur cousin leaked" "wilbur cousin posted" on tiktok in hopes that something would have been posted. nada. finally, the og tweeter messaged me back with the link. i was ecstatic. finally i'll see what melodramatic tiktok story time over top of taylor swift spurred this chain of events. and well. i was sorely disappointed. now i have an hour and 45 minutes of my time wasted because someone on twitters screenshot got stolen and the thief never bothered to find the context.
oh and yes i am mentally ill, why do you ask?
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DMBJ 2010 Nangongling Interview Translated
I’ve finally (poorly) translated the infamous Nangongling interview with Nanpai Sanshu (aka Xu Lei, author of DMBJ)!
This is where that famous quote, ‘My lifetime, in exchange for you a decade of innocence and purity’ comes from. More on that here.
Interview Context: First off, in case you don’t already know, NPSS started DMBJ off as a fanfiction. And more on that here. Hence, his style of engagement with fans will be much more direct and why he’s very... knowing of the fandom world. And why the interview does not hesitate to ask about pingxie.
This interview seems to have been conducted somewhere on the internet in 2010 or nearing it. Although I couldn’t find more confirmation on its ‘authenticity’ so to speak, I also haven’t seen anything to the contrary that this might be made up. (Chinese internet is a strange, strange place...)
Here’s the version I’m basing this off of.
Translation Context:
Ok first, I’m a native Chinese speaker, but grew up in the US and not fluent in reading / writing. I am not at all familiar with a lot of idioms, let alone internet slang and pop culture references (of which there are a lot in this interiew), so there will be a lot of guessing. Anyone who knows better, free free to point it out.
Text Legend:
Parenthesis indicate actions / reactions. E.g. (smiles awkwardly)
[TN: ...] are my notes
[??? some words ???] indicate major uncertainty in translations
== or =w= and such symbols are emojis from the interviewer
Original text sometimes had random forward slashes in between what seems should be one word / term. My guess is it might be to skirt censorship?
Names Context:
They use a lot of different ways to refer to the various characters and NPSS
The interviewer calls NPSS ‘Your Majesty’ or ‘Sanshu’ a lot. But Sanshu can also refer to Wu Sanxing... so it gets confusing a bit.
Zhang Qiling can be anything from Menyouping to Pingzi to Lao Meng to Meng... just... anytime there’s ‘Meng’ or ‘Ping’ or ‘Zhang’ it’s safe to assume they’re referring to ZQL.
Wu Xie is often just Wu Xie or Tianzhen
Nangongling is the name of the interviewer
Interviewer:
Interviewer: Your Majesty, come interview. After this, we’ve got to sleep.
NPSS: OK. Let’s go. Be gentle.
Interviewer: Oh Your Majesty, you’re so shy.
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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, is DMBJ ultimately a tragic or happy ending?
NPSS: For some, a tragedy. For some, a regular drama. For some, a comedy. For some, an absurdity.
Interviewer: That’s no different from not answering! ==
NPSS: But that’s the correct answer.
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Interviewer: What’s the relationship between Tianzhen and ‘It’? Your Majesty, care to give a spoiler? ==
NPSS: No relationship. [TN: ‘No relationship’ and ‘No problem’ are the same phrase, hence the subsequent answer.]
Interviewer: Then go ahead and tell us. =w=
NPSS: No relationship.
Interviewer: … No relationship?
NPSS: Yup. No relationship.
Interviewer: … ==
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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu about the plan for DMBJ, when might you finish it?
NPSS: 2010.
NPSS: The problem is…
Interviewer: What?
NPSS: There is an unexpected situation.
Interviewer: Don’t give us cliffhanger sentences. Just tell us. ==
NPSS: Maybe [??? Something about being possessed ???]. I might work on it till 2050.
Interviewer: Hey!
NPSS: It’s great.
Interviewer: Might as well make it a Gundam series. [TN: Gundam is referring to the Japanese anime series. I guess they’re making a joke about how he should turn it into a never ending universe / entire franchise.]
NPSS: Conan never grows up. Wu Xie will never get old either. [TN: Conan is referring to Detective Conan, another Japanese anime series.]
NPSS: Even when you all become old, Wu Xie in the book will still be pursuing the answer to all the mysteries.
Interviewer: And if it’s with Lao Meng forever mutually loving and caring, then we have no objections.
NPSS: Fifty years, Golden Wedding [TN: Think he’s referring to Golden Wedding as the 50th anniversary].
Interviewer: Yes, yes. Don’t know if there will be a son. (Tea) (Silence) [TN: I guess the actions indicate ‘sipping tea awkwardly in silence’]
Interviewer: Alright, His Majesty has become shy. Let’s continue onto the next question.
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Interviewer: If we may ask what the Menyouping’s ending will be? Will he find his memories? Continue to live on? Your Majesty can’t because of Classmate 370 [TN: Rumors are this is NPSS’s classmate? Potential prototype for ZQL? See ref.] once scorned your [??? finger ???], you end up holding a grudge?
NPSS: Whether or not you can ‘fujoshi’ for 50 years is uncertain. [TN: Word is ‘fu’, which literal = ‘rotten’; but refers to fujoshi. AKA he’s questioning how long they’ll ship pingxie for.]
Interviewer: No worries. In the future, there will appear a lot of Li Yinhe grannies. [TN: Seems to refer to this LGBTQ activist.]
NPSS: Hands / feet have not fallen off, OK? [TN: I’m not sure what this is referring to lol. Maybe some play on the rotten nature of fujoshi.]
Interviewer: Hands / feet… the whole body?
NPSS: The meaning of ‘entirely not fallen off’ is ‘entirely not fallen off’. [TN: Idk I’m lost...]
Interviewer: … ==
Interviewer: Your Majesty, your resentment for 370 is too deep…
NPSS: Menyouping’s ending will definitely surprise you all. It’s definitely not something that can be conceptually considered at all.
Interviewer: Could it be that he really will be mutually loving and caring with Tianzhen? == It’s not in concept…
NPSS: Hn. That’s a nice thought. [TN: Tone reads a little like ‘ha, as if’.]
NPSS: Like, turn him into a woman or something. Or is it Wu Xie who turns into a woman?
NPSS: “Actually, I’m a flat-chested Mary Sue.” [TN: Lol, yes. They refer to Mary Sue omg.]
Interviewer: … hey now… == Speaking of Mary Sues, after Yun Cai is it Xiu Xiu? Your Majesty, you wouldn’t gift Yun Cai to Lao Meng, and Xiu Xiu to Wu Xie, right? ==
NPSS: Maybe I’ll write Lily stories. [TN: I think Lily stories refers to femslash / stories between two females.]
NPSS: Don’t underestimate my pervertedness.
Interviewer: I’ve never underestimated it… (serious)
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Interviewer: If we may ask what Sanshu’s current weight is? Are you losing weight? Hahahah (Hands akimbo)
NPSS: Now it’s probably a little less than 200 jin. [TN: ~220 pounds.] I’m always in the middle of losing weight, but fat really likes me.
Interviewer: Your Majesty, you should continue to make effort to cosplay Pangzi.
NPSS: I think I will exceed Pangzi’s category soon, cosplay a huge monster instead.
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Interviewer: When will the DMBJ movie be released? Who will play Pingzi? To be honest, I don't want to watch. ==
NPSS: Probably around 2015. I don’t know. Hope it’s not [??? black people ???]. [TN: Yeah that’s what it says, but idk if it’s a reference to type of personalities or it actually is referring to skin color. Wouldn’t surprise me if it were a racist remark. China, sigh.]
Interviewer: Could it be there really will be a movie?
NPSS: Probably.
Interviewer: In America?
NPSS: I can’t say I understand / know Hollywood’s situation.
Interviewer: So it’s America… (Tears running) Too tragic!
NPSS: Hei Xiaoge [TN: Lol I think he’s saying a black young lad] is also not bad.
Interviewer: No! No! No!
NPSS: A-ning has already been designated the female lead by a foreign scriptwriter.
Interviewer: Oooh ~~~ We don’t want to see ghosts ~~~ [TN: Idk what this expression is…]
NPSS: Little D might be able to accept. [TN: Idk who Little D is… might just be a slang way of writing ‘little brother’, in which case, I still don’t know if that’s referring to himself or someone else.]
Interviewer: I guess he will squeak along with me. [TN: Again… I’m lost.] Nope cannot anymore. Next question.
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Interviewer: Will there be romance?
NPSS: [??? Eloquent love ???] will have porn scenes.
Interviewer: … who and who?
NPSS: Not sure yet. One party should not be human.
Interviewer: Heavy tastes, Your Majesty.
NPSS: Tentacles.
Interviewer: …… Your Majesty, are you playing some XXOO games recently? [TN: I’m just gonna assume some hentai shit here.]
NPSS: Nope. Haven’t played in a long time. Got any good suggestions?
Interviewer: [??? The imperial doctor has ghost glasses ???] [TN: Guess it’s the title?] Try it (rubs hands).
NPSS: I’m currently still holding out strong.
Interviewer: Gee… what a pity.
NPSS: You can train your boyfriend.
Interviewer: He’s already very calm.
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Interviewer: Pingzi is so good to Wu Xie, any particular reason? I mean deep underlying reason? For example, knowing the truth about Wu Xie’s life / existence or something. Or being entrusted by Wu Xie’s family or something. Or he thinks he’s brought Wu Xie harm and wants to redeem himself or something.
NPSS: Just doesn’t want to disturb.
Interviewer: Huh? What?
NPSS: Don’t want to disturb.
Interviewer: Disturb what?
NPSS: Tianzhen Wu Xie [TN: Remember, this means ‘innocent, naive, and pure’]. The prompt is very deep now. [TN: Sounds like he’s saying he’s given a deep hint now.]
Interviewer: Oh (Actually someone who doesn’t really understand). [TN: GLAD I’M NOT ALONE! IT’S NOT A TRANSLATION ISSUE!]
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Interviewer: Are there new Lunar New Year Celebratory Extras this year? [TN: NPSS writes occasional extras, and often will publish on special occasions like Lunar New Year.]
NPSS: 2010’s publishing work was too heavy. Can’t celebrate. I even wrote the outline already.
Interviewer: That’s such a pity. What about Tibetan Sea Flower. I’m still waiting for the lama that has JQ with Lao Meng. [TN: They use the term JQ here… seems like slang for something like bromance.]
NPSS: Ah little living Buddha… probably can’t write. [TN: Yeah idk what that really means…] Due to religious issues, living Buddha’s chrysanthemum is very sensitive. Huge crawling creatures will come and bombard. [TN: IDK BUT CHRYSANTHEMUMS ARE OFTEN EUPHEMISMS FOR THE ANUS AND GAY BUTT SEX SO IDK.]
Interviewer: Hey… ==
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Interviewer: Qinling Sacred Tree arc was too mysterious. Will Sanshu later be connected to the Sacred Tree? If so, how will you do it? I think DMBJ is not as thrilling / exciting as before. Can you still return to that previous style?
NPSS: There are no plans at present to connect Qinling. I need to settle Meng first. The core of what’s being written is his business. The excitement of DMBJ is not found in the novel but in the heart of the reader. The reader will upgrade / improve while reading.
Interviewer: Is that so… (Eats late night food) [TN: Idk what this expression means.]
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Interviewer: Will you still publish new books and dig new plot holes? == Besides this official vest of Nanpai Sanshu, do you have anything else? Like diving party? == [TN: Yeah idk what that means…]
NPSS: Doesn’t returning to the original style of writing offer you some thrilling / excitement? Your heart has already upgraded, it’s just that the novel is still like that.
Interviewer: Heart! ==||| [TN: Yes, this is another face lol]
NPSS: There’s still some more. Like Nangongling. [TN: Name of the interviewer, but I have no idea what this means.]
Interviewer: The watch drags me underwater. [TN: I got nothing *shrugs*.]
NPSS: Actually are we answering our own questions?
Interviewer: Haha, fun right?
NPSS: Indeed. Could it be a split personality? Never thought my hidden personality is a Fujoshi. Tragedy.
Interviewer: Hey I didn’t say my hidden personality was a perverted uncle yet. (Two bored idiots stare in silence for a few seconds)
Interviewer: Enough. Next.
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Interviewer: Pingzi’s age… is it ‘uncle’ or ‘grandpa’? Anyway, I know it’s not ‘brother’. [TN: They’re referring to which generation basically.]
NPSS: Taizu Grandfather [TN: Basically hella old… great-great-great-great-great-grandfather?]
Interviewer: Wow… paleontology relic?
NPSS: Age must be in the triple digits.
Interviewer: Old monster! I like it! Just afraid that next to Tianzhen, he seems younger (talking to self)
NPSS: Tianzhen is even older. Quadruple digits.
Interviewer: Really is younger? ==
NPSS: They all end up in the museum display.
Interviewer: Does it cost anything to visit? Museums are now free / open to visit.
NPSS: After hour events charge fees. There are special programs, but the TV station will not allow them to be broadcasted.
Interviewer: Strip tease / dancing?
NPSS: No. It’s the old monster [TN: Probably referring to ZQL] performing Xiangsheng [TN: Some Chinese duo comedy schtick]. Xie Ling [TN: I think this is Wu Xie + Zhang Qiling?] social / not-famous Xiangsheng actors.
Interviewer: Looks like it will be Two-Person Turn Opera [TN: Idk if there is an English term for this… but another type of skit it seems.]
NPSS: Wear the dancing shoes. [TN: I think it’s just this?]
Interviewer: … It’s so cold… Your Majesty…
NPSS: Zhang Wenling, Wu Wenxie [TN: Lol I guess this would be their comedy stage names. It’s extra / intentionally stupid because all he did was insert ‘wen’ which means ‘literature’.]
Interviewer: Enough… Don’t worry about this anymore. I’m gonna move onto the next question.
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Interviewer: Is Wu Xie the most tragic character in the entire novel? Is it inevitable that, between him and Pingzi, one of them will have to die in the end?
NPSS: Wu Xie’s fate as the most tragic is a set tragedy, but Lao Zhang doesn’t have it easy either.
Interviewer: And then?
NPSS: Delayed the inevitable tragedy.
Interviewer: And then they encountered tragedy together?
NPSS: Using [his] own lifetime to exchange you another decade of innocence and purity.
Interviewer: … (wailing) (too stunned) Lao Meng [??? became the Virgin Mary???] (smashes wall)
NPSS: I also want to get a cult.
Interviewer: Does Lao Meng really not have a crush on Tianzhen? It can’t continue like this. DMBJ is still a serious / proper drama after all.
NPSS: Nah. It’s serious / proper.
Interviewer: But what you said is crooked.
NPSS: Alright. Then let’s put it this way.
Interviewer: How?
NPSS: Comrade Zhang Qiling sacrificed his own time to save and prevent the disillusionment of a youth who was about to go astray. [TN: Yeah… not too sure about the implications of this.]
Interviewer: …. Your Majesty, you [??? use soulmates ???] [TN: I’m really not sure about this… context and definitions I found seems to indicate it’s a soulmate like thing, but also used kind of queerbaity?]
NPSS: I’ve been working real closely with soulmate recently.
Interviewer: We can tell. Next question. Best leave some room for free thought.
NPSS: It’d be fine if you just don’t post it.
Interviewer: This is iron proof of JQ! [TN: Again, some internet slang for bromance / malexmale CPs or something.]
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Interviewer: Are all the incomprehensible things that happened so far man-made? Or will it be explained by the supernatural?
NPSS: There’s nothing incomprehensible.
Interviewer: Probably in reference to Qinling.
NPSS: Oh. Doesn’t that count as a spoiler?
Interviewer: … then let’s skip again. Actually, I thought you already forgot about Qinling.
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Interviewer: What is Pangzi’s little secret?
NPSS: Xiao Pang’s [TN: Little Fat’s] tragic past.
Interviewer: What… Pangzi is also quite tragic.
NPSS: Probably a ‘fought with his best friend over a woman and was hurt very badly’ kind of relationship. Pangzi had a very simple but tragic love.
Interviewer: Sad…. == You really can’t tell…
NPSS: A woman he promised to take care of for a lifetime and a brother he can’t help but save.
Interviewer: Pangzi has sublimed (victory fist] [TN: I assume ‘sublime’, which literally means converting from solid directly to gas, is just representative of a massive promotion or rise into awesomeness.]
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Interviewer: I’m always thinking of Ershu’s mysterious air. Does he know a lot of things that others don’t? I also want to know what Wu Xie’s dad does.
NPSS: [??? Location scouting ???]
Interviewer: Ershu?
NPSS: He knows some.
Interviewer: Then what about his dad.
NPSS: Location scouting. Totally innocent. Just like Jesus’s old man.
Interviewer: What kind analogy is that… == Next.
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Interviewer: Hey Sanshu, on Dec 9, 2009 at 02:58 in the morning I dreamt of you. Did you dream of me? …. == Your Majesty, your fans [TN: Yeah idk.]
NPSS: That night I seem to have pulled an all-nighter. I wouldn’t mind dreaming again tonight.
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Interviewer: Will Pingzi eventually return to being a normal human? Live on from the age of 18? Has he had a lover / children before? Yun Cai? Is Pangzi the boss or the person coming to supervise the boss (Tianzhen)?
Interviewer: Lao Meng… I’ve long since been speechless towards him. By the way, was he always this kind of stone in the latrine? [TN: I guess a saying about how he’s stuffy and expressionless per usual.]
NPSS: No. It used to be really bad.
Interviewer: …How bad…
NPSS: Like a Tibetan horse. [TN: Lol this is the literal translation but when I Googled it, Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho came up and hahaha I guess it kind of makes sense as an analogy?]
Interviewer: Your Majesty, your definition of really bad is Kurama’s level huh…= =|| So he wasn’t born latrine stone… [TN: Ok, so background on Kurama - an infamous fox demon thief escaped into the body of a newborn child because his spirit was weakened after being hunted, and so he cohabits the body with this boy… I’m not entirely sure of the reference jousting here.]
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Interviewer: What happens to Pangzi in the end?
NPSS: Dies of old age.
Interviewer: How mundane!
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Interviewer: We want to know when DMBJ 7 will be finished?
NPSS: 3/15-20 complete.
Interviewer: (Recommends to everyone not to believe… ==)
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Interviewer: Sanshu, will someone die at the end of DMBJ? (Alright I only care about MengMeng and Tianzhen and believe Pangzi will definitely not be killed off). Also, just how many volumes will there be?
Interviewer: How many die, I also want to know. [TN: Lol they also use the counter word not for humans, but… something else?].
NPSS: There will be someone half-dead. Because it’s a grave-robbing novel, dying completely will never happen. A-ning died and still comes around often, right? [TN: Lol I’m not entirely sure what this is in reference to… first part he’s making a joke that people can become zombies, but second part… I don’t really recall A-ning coming back? Unless he means in mentions? Then again I’m still making my way through the novels.] Just that you go from hero to villain. I still haven’t decided how many to kill off. Anyways for the last volume, with the exception of Wu Xie, [??? anyone can be killed ???].
Interviewer: …Just kill everyone why don’t you; it’s easier. (self-destruct) ==
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Interviewer: May we ask Sanshu, will Pingzi have emotional drama in the future?
NPSS: No. No time / effort for that, and communication skills are limited.
Interviewer: Ahaha….
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Interviewer: Normally, will Sanshu come check out our Tieba? [TN: Kind of like Chinese reddit I believe?] Do you know the Warm Fox? [TN: I did a quick search, seems like a big fandom name that interprets a lot of the DMBJ stuff.]
NPSS: Don’t know.
Interviewer: As expected…
NPSS: It’s your husband?
Interviewer: Hey don’t involve me in everything. (Flips table)
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Interviewer: Just out of personal interest… I really want to know if Xie Lianhuan likes Wenjin?
NPSS: Uh, yes. Very much so.
Interviewer: Then what about Wu Sanxing?
NPSS: Also likes her.
Interviewer: So it turns out to be a crime of passion… (awakened)
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Interviewer: Is Yun Cai just an inconsequential character? Those Huo family Forbidden Ladies won’t have some sort of emotional development with Pingxie, right? [TN: It does say Huo family Forbidden Ladies… I guess they might be referring to Huo Xiu Xiu, but not sure why there’s multiple. Also, recall that the Forbidden Lady is that tomb creature.]
NPSS: Huo family really did become Forbidden Lady professional household [TN: Maybe like a ‘firm’?]. Yun Cai’s ending is also quite tragic.
Interviewer: Indeed. If transmigrating, don’t transmigrate into DMBJ. [TN: Transmigrate is the common c-drama trope where someone in modern times / average suddenly wakes up in the body of some one in the past or something.] Female beings all have no good outcome.
NPSS: If you’ve already died once, then there’s no need to be afraid.
Interviewer: Oh yeah, will that pink-shirt show face again? (Xlaugh) [TN: Idk this expression, but I think pink-shirt is referring to Xiaohua.]
NPSS: Yes. [??? Young Lord of Solutions ???] Grave-Robbing Prince.
Interviewer: Ahhhhh~~great~~~ >///<~~ The Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???], right? … Then Xiao Hei [TN: Hei Xiazi / Hei Yanjing] also has a role?
NPSS: Yup.
Interviewer: The descendants of the Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???] are nine golden men? =w=
NPSS: One isn’t. 8 men. 1 woman.
Interviewer: The female is Huo family Forbidden Lady, right?
NPSS: Yup. Counting her.
Interviewer: So that means Tianzhen still has 7 in his harem… Damn, catching up to Cracked Pot’s bunch of shiny guardians. [TN: Idk what that is in reference to.]
NPSS: Cracked Pot? What’s that? [TN: Yay I’m not the only one!]
Interviewer: Cough Cough. Your Majesty, you don’t need to know.
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Interviewer: Will Sanshu come to Nanning for an autograph session?
NPSS: Nanning? Need a Nanning bookstore to invite me.
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Interviewer: If we may ask Lao San [TN: Still referring to NPSS], from Wu Xie’s (or Pangzi’s) perspective, where does Menyouping stand? Just a ‘person who stands on our side’? [TN: Refers to when ZQL told them he was a person on their side.]
NPSS: Now it should be like a son’s role / part.
Interviewer: What? Son? ==
NPSS: A very promising son.
Interviewer: Is Wu Xie having the ‘My son has grown up’ old mother mentality?
NPSS: Not really. More like, my son has bad memory or something.
Interviewer: Wu Xie he is indeed [??? person wife ???] [TN: Uh... term used was 人\妻 which when Googled had the first link to pornhub lol. But I think the slang used is actually this.]
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Interviewer: In Sanshu’s day to day, how often does you use code words? Or is it scrunching your feet and thinking on it for a month or two before coming up with something? [TN: I think they’re referring to Sanshu as in NPSS and not Wu Sanxing Sanshu?]
NPSS: It’s usually simultaneously [??? buckling ???] and eating and typing.
Interviewer: Does it taste good?
NPSS: Often get stomachaches.
Interviewer: …Very toxic huh…
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Interviewer: Can you fill the bit plothole of Sanshu’s storytelling? Your Majesty, do you have any filled pits? == (Hides face)
NPSS: I promised my father I would fill them before he turns 70.
NPSS: [??? New Year’s Eve pieces ???]
Interviewer: How old is his esteemed Majesty’s father?
NPSS: 60.
Interviewer: …. (speechless)
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Interviewer: What kind of person is Wu Xie’s mother?
NPSS: Wu Xie’s mother is probably a strong / great woman.
Interviewer: I think so too.
NPSS: Beautiful but strict and fierce, which is why Dad is rather pathetic / a good-for-nothing.
Interviewer: Queens are great. Queens usually marry good-for-nothings. [TN: The ‘queen’ here is literally ‘female king’, so more implies a female ruler.] ==
Interviewer: In the end, did Wu Xie inherit his dad’s genes?
NPSS: Wu Xie also has a very dark personality.
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NPSS: I’m nearly at my limit…
Interviewer: Same here… (sleepy)
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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, if excluding psychological factors, in terms of human nature, do you think Pingxie is suitable?
NPSS: I think, the two of them together. Neither can earn money. Parents on both side would not agree.
Interviewer: Can it not be one steals and the other sells stolen goods?
NPSS: At the very least, Wu Xie needs to get admitted to a civil service position. [TN: These are stable job positions lol]
Interviewer: Looks like Lao Meng eats soft rice! [TN: A saying that refers to men who lives off of women lol. Basically that the woman supports the man instead of the expected vice versa.]
NPSS: And also will need to buy a house in Hangzhou.
Interviewer: … Too realistic… == [TN: Lol no joke this is exactly how couples get ‘permission’ to marry each other by the families… Hangzhou housing prices are not cheap either. I was born there and visit often… those prices have gone uuuuuuup.]
(And the two are dozing off)
NPSS: Let’s end it. I can’t hold on anymore.
Interviewer: Ok…
(The physically / mentally exhausted two rolled off to sleep, interview unfinished… ==)
~ End Interview
Whew that was a long ride. NPSS is such a troll lol... 😅I don’t know nearly enough Chinese slang / internet speak to parse this properly, but the general gist is there.
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The Outsiders First Feelings
So I’ve watched the extended movie, but not the theatrical version or read the book (plan on doing both)
spoilers:
Just want to be clear that there is critique of specifically the extended/director’s cut, but overall I am heartbroken at how powerful this story is. So that’s the TL;DR of it.
1.
First thoughts: Man they did well on this casting. Apparently they did group casting to make sure the ensemble worked (also Ralph Macchio remembers how they had to read for all the parts, but he was very insistent that he was auditioning for Johnny and tbh, if I’d been Coppola I’d’ve taken one look at him and gone “yes”)
Anyway this movie works on the strength of the cast more than anything for me. I care about the greasers (have to confess “Sherri” ended up being a non-entity, but that’s not Diane Lane’s fault, the character doesn’t have depth or connection to the others, since her life isn’t explored) because every one of them cares so much about each other.
2.
Second, I don’t know the context behind Hinton’s dislike of a queer reading of the text, but queer reads exist because queer canon has historically been rare/deliberately pushed into allegory and metaphor. All this to say that - however unknowing - she wrote a text that was absolutely filled with that queer subtext that a queer reader would immediately notice (and from the sounds of it a lot of non-queer readers too). Not knowing you did it doesn’t mean it’s not there. And the movie just adds the visuals that belong to that queer-coding.
And wow was this a story about the closeness and homosocial relationships between boys on the cusp of growing up. That shit is queer even before you get to the found family, the loneliness of being shunned just for existing, and the non-normativity of their status in society (class-based, but depicted through their finicky approach to their appearances, also interesting).
And of course. Ponyboy. And Dally. All of them to be honest. So very queercoded. And Johnny… I would be biased about Johnny even if he wasn’t being played by Ralph Macchio – smaller and more delicate in stature, abused at home, unable to form an identity because of how traumatized he is until he runs away for a week with his best friend and creates a domestic house inside a church with him, where they play poker, cut each other’s hair, read gone with the wind, and quote poetry? Okay. Okay alright.
(sidenote: think director’s should’ve been knocking down the door trying to get Macchio after this and Karate Kid - crafted two wonderfully different characters that’re both considered iconic performances a year after one another)
I initially wasn’t sure who Dally was as a character to Johnny - wasn’t sure if he’d be the one to fuck things up for him for whatever reason, but actually he genuinely wants what’s best for him and functions as that after-image of what Johnny might*ve become if he goes away for the crime, making his motivation that much clearer. He really needed Johnny to live, to pull through, because Johnny was someone to fight for, to be better for...
Johnny had so many people who loved him....... ...................
3.
ANYWAY without having read the book yet, some critique on the movie:
I think straight book-to-film adaptations are a bad idea 99% of the time and IMO this movie suffered for it. The pacing was just straight-up weird at times. I had a feeling that someone would die and that it’d likely be Johnny or Dally (oh sweet summer child), but while I could see the beats which likely work very well in the book, they didn’t always (sometimes they did) land at the right moments for a film. When Johnny died I went – oh, okay, that happens now, like this? If it hadn’t been for the acting I’d’ve been really annoyed, because of how it was built up and placed, it felt like it didn’t do the characters’ journeys justice.
Also in the extended edition – I was very confused about the music and read afterwards that Coppola straight up yanked out the original score and replaced it with generic 60s bops and why? Do? That? Whole scenes that would’ve been miles better with something else or entirely without music were disrupted (two big ones that stick with me: when they save the kids in the church and when they meet with Sherri before the rumble, but there were more).
That’s two of the main reasons I’m interested in watching the theatrical cut – third is that apparently he took out three scenes from the church for the extended edition and doubly why??? the church sequence depicts Johnny’s first (and only) taste at life. It’s vital to understanding his tragedy!!! whyyy??? cut it????
4.
I wonder how much of this movie acted as a precursor to Stand By Me (probably lots of people talk about this, but idk), just because of the obvious similarities, but Stand By Me did so much better at keeping it on-point and pushing the narrative forward in the right direction. Easier to adapt a short story (also Brokeback Mountain springs to mind) than a whole book, but that’s why I’m interested in the theatrical cut. Also… the music… (whispers, why).
That sounds really critical, but my feeling is mostly positive (well, sad, because everything hurts) – I get frustrated with movies where I can see how they would work with some more focus, because all the pieces are there: Arguably perfect cast, perfect story already provided, some strong cinematography (and maybe also a good score, can’t say until the theatrical), but then it isn’t brought together properly for whatever reason.
5.
Ponyboy and Johnny sure do stand outside and watch the dawn while quoting poetry and Johnny was gold even if he never saw it himself, he really was, urgh that hit my heart. The acting and images are gonna sit with me for awhile – and the tragedy of it all lingered because of the strength of the story and the acting, even if the handling of it onscreen was ultimately a bit clumsy.
Final thoughts:
There’s a deleted scene/rehearsal scene idk, but Ponyboy reads the letter Johnny wrote before he died and it’s just the VO, no visuals other than Ponyboy reading, no music. Just the stillness of that moment.
So. Much. More. Powerful. I cried watching that. I’m very sad thinking about it.
Johnny is a gender.
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Thanks for the tag @lordoftherazzles!💙
Find me on ao3:)
Fandoms: I only write for the Tolkien fandom, but I used to write for the Harry Potter fandom back in high school too:)
Two-shot: I’ve never done a two-shot, but maybe one day!
Most popular multi-chapter: Well, since Heart of Gold is my only multi-chapter fic, it’s gotta be that one😉
Actual worst part of writing: my obsession with details that don’t matter that much. Just this week, I had to use the word ‘eucalyptus’ to describe the smells in a room and then I got frustrated because the word comes from Ancient Greek and well obviously they don’t have Greece in middle earth so how would they get that word? (I know I’m crazy) I’m fine with it now though, I’m just telling myself that Tolkien wrote the books like he was translating ancient texts so let’s just pretend I’m using the modern word for it😂
How you choose titles: oh boy, it really depends on the context. Obviously titles have to reflect something of importance to the story, but that can be anything from a character’s line, a place, an event, or even a quote from another book, to just something kinda abstract that, for me, reflects the plot of the chapter or even just what I think is the main theme.
Do you outline: I outline most of the stories, but I leave myself a lot of room because I like to allow my characters to drive the story and so that can lead me into some unknown directions.
Ideas you probably won’t get to but wouldn’t it be nice: I will get to it one day, I hope (when I find the time), but I have an idea for an enemies to lovers thorin fic that includes a scene where thorin and the reader/oc have to share a bed for warmth (I know really cliché lol)
Callouts @ yourself: Nobody cares about the origin of words when reading a fic and no one is going to hate me if I use a term that is slightly anachronistic!
Best writing traits: Uhhhh idk lol, anyone wanna help me out with this one?😂
I think I’ve gotten pretty good at writing dialogue. And also maybe I’m good at making the setting reflect a character’s interiority (that is, I’ll have whatever a certain character is feeling influence the way they see what is around them)
Tagging @lathalea @gwen-ever @thewarriorandtheking @fizzyxcustard @shethereadinghobbit @vee-vee-writes and anyone else who wants to do this:)
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Yaaasss!!! Jelous Ben was si cuteee and we love a supportive mother, her mom is fantastic and a savage. I hace a question, how did you come up with reader's character in x-men?? I legit googled it as I thought it was a real character, so welk done.
i love her mum so fuckin much, dude, she’s supportive but can still be embarrassing at times. i wrote her, not like my actual mum, but like my dad now that i think about it. dude literally told me over the phone that he’d physically fight people for shittalking me (not just in general, there’s more context, but the point still stands). idk i think it’s disingenuous to not let parental characters have certain flaws, like they’re allowed to be overprotective and spiteful, as well as caring and supportive. i love her too.
oH SHIT DUDE LEMME TALK ABT MY GIRL CASSIDY TEMPLE I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH AND I”VE PUT SO MUCH THOUGHT INTO HER THAT THIS WILL HAVE A READ MORE
so cassidy’s powers are actually based off of an xmen oc i’ve already written 70k about, Aoibheal Cassidy, younger sister of Banshee, Sean Cassidy, and Cassidy Temple’s name is a reference to her, since originally I was going to essentially have Y/N playing Aoibheal (because it’s my fic and i can include an homage to my xmen oc as a treat). the powers themselves are based loosely on Multiple Man from X-Men: The Last Stand, except Cassidy’s clones can’t live a life of their own like his can. In the xmen fic, aoibheal starts off with having unlimited clones, and they can explode because i thought it was neat tbh.
From the original fic, Molotov Heart, chapter 3, rubatosis:
[Context; humans experimenting on mutants between X-Men First Class and X-Men Days Of Future Past have caught Sean and Aoibheal and they experiment on them even though Aoibheal’s powers have not manifested (she is approximately 13) and they kill her brother in front of her]:
Stunned into silence, she can feel something white-hot building inside of her, all the rage and fear and pain becoming almost tangible.
She mutates.
Copies of Aoibheal, clones, appear around them, filling up the space between the now screaming and bewildered 'doctors'. Aoibheal herself doesn't seem to notice the clones, bawling her eyes out, an action the clones themselves are mirroring, and she thinks of nothing but freedom and escape, focusing on the white-hot feeling inside of her until it overwhelmed her. With the force of a bunker-buster bomb, the clones began to combust, began to explode, first a few, and then all at once. Killing the human personel who had kept her hostage, the blast reduced the warehouse to mere cinders, freed Aoibheal and left her clothing in tatters, but she was alive damn it.
The reason Cassidy has a limited number is because i needed a way to have her powered up as a horseman, like a distinct power up, rather than just something unseen like heightened reflexes and strength.
I would like to point out also, that it’s not stated, but Cassidy’s explosions (NOT AOIBHEAL’s) are never to do with heat, they’re always about force. the explosions themselves are never hot, never have anything to do with fire or anything like that, she builds up force inside of the clones, and lets it tear her apart from the inside out as a wave that destroys the things it comes into contact with.
The scream was originally hereditary, like Banshee, it developed as her secondary mutation.
From the Marvel Wiki:
The Secondary Mutation (or "Second Mutation") is a phenomenon in which an existing mutant undergoes another mutation, gaining additional powers, such as healing, or a change in appearance.
Secondary mutation is noted as the appearance of new powers, or an increase in existing powers.
It was stated by Beast that the secondary mutations usually occurred in the twenties of the subjects, and generally appeared in time of great stress.
From the original fic, chapter 8, nodus tollens:
The appearance of the secondary mutation:
The world falls apart in a blur of movement. The gun goes off just after Raven jumps and makes a break for the window, the bullet curves as she crashes through the glass, following her on the way down. Tackling Erik earns Hank a mean right hook to the jaw, but Aoibheal’s there, looking at Trask like a dear in the headlights, memories whipping through her head like a hurricane - the sick fuck looks pleased to see her – her mouth falls open and she screams. She and the clone scream in tandem, their voices supersonic as the surrounding people clutched their ears for dear life; struggling to keep a hold of the feeling in her chest that caused her to explode, the clone detonates like a firework, scorching the wallpaper while Trask is stumbling to the door. There’s blood leaking from his ears but Aoibheal can’t move, can only scream and relive the memory of her brother’s murder over and over again.
Hank discussing it:
"I've never seen a secondary mutation so vastly different!" No longer blue or furry, [Hank’s] smile is excited as he looks over at her. Sharing the cockpit feels almost familiar by now, with Aoibheal curled up in the passenger seat nursing a glass of water. "It makes sense though, your original mutation – the explosions – would be an extension of your temperature immunity, but your secondary mutation is hereditary."
Cassidy’s scream, however, unlike Banshee’s, only effects things with ears, not inanimate objects like glass. Of course she could learn the right pitch to get glass to shatter like an opera singer, but generally speaking, her scream only effects things that can hear.
OKAY LETS TALK ABT THE STUFF I FABRICATED FOR THE FIC
oh GOD I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP WITH MAGNETO
not as in romantic, as in he is literally her character’s main inspiration in the films. i’m literally making a fake trailer right now that’s intercut with moments from his DOFP speech that was broadcast to the whole of america.
i love dofp (possibly to my detriment) but i always thought it was weird that no-one was ever like.... magneto has a point. BECAUSE HE HAS A POINT. he’s speaking directly to disenfranchised and SCARED mutants across the nation, and yet everyone’s heralding Mystique as the new face of mutant kind. YES she made a point, but like.... did no-one vibe with magneto when he promised the destruction of mankind? i would. anyways.
so i thought it would be interesting for this character, Cassidy, to have this hero-worship of Magneto, taking his words to heart like scripture, ultimately making her a foil for Phoenix, Xavier’s protege.
it’s why i specifically included this:
“You should be,” you hissed, putting your all into the words as you spoke them, and you hear Ben inhale sharply beside you, “we shall inherit the Earth.”
“What follows is a struggle as Cassidy and the figure – revealed to be her clone – proceed to kill the man. When they’re finished, and the man’s dead on the ground, Cassidy straightens her outfit, and we hear –“ as the director reads, Michael begins to slowly clap, “a slow clap, and it’s revealed that Apocalypse, as well as Storm, Angel, and Magneto, had all witnessed the event.”
“We are the future, we are the ones who shall inherit the Earth,” Michael reads as he stops clapping.
“Magneto,” you breathe reverentially, and when you look to him, you and Michael share a sharp smile.
which is a direct quote from magneto’s speech in Days of Future Past:
You built these weapons to destroy us. Why? Because you are afraid of our gifts. Because we are different. Humanity has always feared that which is different. Well, I'm here to tell you, to tell the world, you're right to fear us. We are the future. We are the ones who will inherit this earth, and anyone who stands in our way will suffer the same fate as these men you see before you. Today was meant to be a display of your power. Instead I give you a glimpse of the devastation my race can unleash upon yours. Let this be a warning to the world. And to my mutant brothers and sisters out there, I say this; no more hiding, no more suffering. You have lived in the shadows in shame and fear for too long. Come out, join me. Fight together in the brotherhood of our kind. A new tomorrow, that starts today.
which ALSO is what turns her into the next big villain for the franchise, because she sees Magneto, the man she kind of thinks of like a god, turn on and help kill Apocalypse, the man who claimed to be an actual god, and side with the people who, ultimately, don’t want to destroy the human race like she does, and also killed the man she loved. she takes Magneto’s ideologies and turns them up to 11. he fucks off to create a mutant paradise away from prying eyes and is happy, she won’t be happy until all humans are punished.
it’s why, in the beginning, she and raven can’t still work together, because raven wants to rescue mutants, but not at the expense of unnecessary human lives, and cassidy sees all humans as complicit in the torture, and therefore deserving of punishment.
she has deemed herself judge, jury, and executioner of human kind, and they have all been found guilty.
i’m so excited to see if i get around to writing some of the next film because i really want to explore the dichotomy of Xavier’s ‘no-one is ever really gone/there’s always hope’ and magneto’s ‘you were right to be afraid of us, we are the ones who shall inherit the earth’. Everyone has given up on Cassidy in one way or another, whether it be by betrayal or death, and so when she finds this symbiote who literally becomes a part of her, makes her stronger, and is happy to kill people with little regard for who they are, she’ll take it.
EDIT: here’s the first 26 seconds of the fake trailer (Y/N here is played by Jurnee Smollett, aka Black Canary from Birds of Prey)
ANGEL & RIOT
i wanted y/n to kiss ben hardy that’s literally it.
actually no that’s not it 100%, i think it’s super amusing in a kind of bleak way that he got fridged for her, like his death, both in the “””comics””” (as in the comic universe for the fics) and in the film, causes her to seek out a force that would help bring him back to life. in the “””comics””” she originally seeks out a mutant, but when the mutant who can bring people back refuses to help her, she’s told of experiments at The Life Foundation, who are working on engineering the next step in human evolution, and she’s thinking that they’re experimenting on mutants again, like trask, and goes in guns blazing, but instead finds symbiotes. she bonds with a symbiote, thus becoming Riot Control, and the symbiote initially promises her all these things, including being able to find a way to ressurect angel, but eventually (in the “””comics”””) the power he gives her overtakes her need to ressurect her love, and riot ends up using her to try and build a ship to bring more symbiotes to take over earth.
IN THE FILM
okay OKAY okay OKAY so she’s looking for a way to ressurect angel at first, but riot’s in her ear while he’s seeing all her memories, and is convincing her to get revenge on the people who are responsible for his death (nightcrawler, jean, and Magneto specifically) so its not that the xmen are just in the plot by happenstance there’s like actual beef, love it.
I also love that Cassidy’s powers are handicapped when she’s got Riot, since her scream would injure or even possibly kill him. Yes i specifically paired her with a symbiote for that reason, which is also the reason why her clone explosions aren’t heat based.
but anyway, can i spoil the ending? i wanna spoil the ending;
so there’s this big showdown between riot control and the xmen, and jean confronts cassidy, trying to talk her down like ‘what would angel think if he saw you? What you’ve become?’ and Cassidy’s furious, thinking that jean’s trying to guilt her, like, angel would be so ashamed
“Keep his name out of your fucking mouth, you have no idea what he’d think-”
“He’d be terrified of you.” And it’s so fucking like, cruel and cold coming from Jean.
“Shut up.”
“You have become a monster; you have maimed your idol-” [we cut to a shot of magneto looking all fucked up and bloody, watching with anger in his eyes] “and you have left Angel for dead. If you’d really cared about him, you would have already gotten him back. Instead, you come for revenge against the people who could have helped you -”
or something like that, and riot control has a whole breakdown, lashing out, snarling that no-one could help her, and when they tried, they ended up dead (angel, apocalypse) and she starts losing control, and her voice starts to distort in and out of riot’s, making it clear he’s taking control of her completely.
there’s this big, final fight, which culminates with jean grabbing cassidy’s face and trying to burn riot out of her.
“No-one is beyond help.” And Jean’s like, got tears in her eyes, desperate to save this girl who’s caused so much pain, but who sees herself as so wretched and beyond help, and we see the symbiote burning away and screaming, but also the physical signs of cassidy’s mutation as like, peeling away in embers, like the black scales around her eyes, and the way her whole eyes are seen as black is now clearing away, and she takes both of Jean’s hands and forces her to keep holding on, to keep looking in her natural fucking eyes for the first and last time as she burns out too.
“You can’t save everyone.” and then Cassidy’s just ash in the wind.
also this ending, in a meta-sense, makes sense, because after this Disney buys Fox and there’s no more this-universe X-Men films, so they had to do a self-contained story, there couldn’t be things left super unresolved.
OR maybe she’s fine, maybe she gets saved and riot burns out of her (spoilers, he fucks off and doesn’t die, hence, Venom (2018); it takes him about 20 years to recuperate) i haven’t decided.
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Clone Wars Saved...ish
What the hell did I just watch ?
Let’s start by saying that 1) spoilers alert, not necessarily coherent but definitely there, I’ll put on a read more, but unspoiled mobile users, just in case it fails, scroll by and 2) @norcumii had warned me. And yet I didn’t quite expect that because, how could more clones ever be bad !
Oh boy.
Thanks to @shadow-spires for being my emotional support watchbuddy. I needed it more than I thought I would and we’re only three episodes in.
Some context : I’ve watched... only a few episodes of the show before, despite probably being able to give you the plot of all 6 seasons and quote lines and scenes, thanks tumblr and my own love for clones. And I hadn’t really looked at the bad batch half-rendered episodes because I still had trouble with the graphics of the actually finished show, so...
But I was ready for this, for feels, for finding Echo again and, finally, get 66 and murdered by Dave Filoni.
Set up a meeting time to watch some eps with shadowspires, fun when there is a twelve hours diff between us and here we go.
Let me tell you, there was a lot of yelling in all caps in the chat side bar...
Trying to keep mostly in order of the episodes :
- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO KIX’S HAIR ? Why ? Why hair and no more tattoo ??? Is this supposed to be red corsair continuity ? But then WHY IS HE HERE AND NOT ALREADY ABDUCTED ? Is this merch reasons ?
- Two seconds in and WOW I hate the Bad Batch. And this does NOT get better. I’m really tired of the Muscle is Dumb trope, Tech is like a human C3PO which urgh but fine but then KEEP CONSTANT (this is going to be a major point of my yelling), if Hunter says you chatter all the time THEN DO but no, we won’t here a single random fact ever again for three episodes, and Crosshairs chats and snarks a LOT for someone ‘not talkative’.
- Regs. FUCKING REGS, urgh, I hated that word the INSTANT it was said. Canon isn’t as heavily into the Vode An fanon loves, but WOW fuck that. Strike team or not, you’re not supermen, you have to rely on intel, be supplied, you’re not a bunch of mercenaries, you’re a MILITARY STRIKE TEAM, you must interact with regs a lot so it means you’re a bunch of condescending assholes ALL THE TIME.
-Also fuck 1) that team’s dynamics and 2) the “two teams do not get along” trope, fuck it with a SHOVEL.
1) You’re a Commando Team. In an army three years deep into war. You’re comrades and probably have save each other asses hundred of times. So why can’t you behave ? And I know people do not always get along, or even best friends sometimes irk each other, but, look, consistency, if you think you’re with lesser people because regs (can you tell I’m not over that either), you present a united front and you don’t bitch at your teammates in front of them.
2) YOU ARE MILITARY. Trained for 10+ years, there’s DISCIPLINE there, even a maverick strike team, when Cody is down, you OBEY THE SECOND IN COMMAND. I don’t care if you have a better plan, you TELL the officer, you don’t just tell him to shut up and watch. AND YOU DON’T GET AT EACH OTHER’S THROATS.
-Did I mention I hate everything about Dumb Violent Muscles unable to control himself or follow a plan ?
-Of course the one time we could see Cody in charge, he’s hurt and useless.
-WHY. IS. THE MEDIC. GOSSIPING. INSTEAD OF KEEPING WATCH OVER THE WOUNDED BROTHER ???
AND WHY DOES HE HAVE HAIR DAMMIT
-The tactics Mess out of order : Why is nobody blowing stuff up, a group able to single handedly take on 100+ droids is getting pushed back by thirty later on, why not trap the outpost to blow up the incoming droids, the analytical droid cannot comprehend why the clones would leave the outpost while in full view of the cyber center and it has to be pointed out to him, WHY DID NOBODY TRAP THE FUCKING OUTPOST TO BLOW, why does the tech guy LITERALLY NAMED TECH doesn’t hide/erase what they did to the computer, why if he didn’t have time DIDN’T HE BLOW UP THE COMPUTER.
-And for a plot point being “droids analyzes our tactics so we always have to change them”, it means that no one ever attacked a front door and drew all the droids there for a second team to sneak by the back door. Somehow.
Ep2 & 3 :
- Why is “this may or may not be Echo” matters on a tactical PoV ? I get the emotional one, of course, but having the Bad Batch question it at the beginning and later on starting a fight over it has no other reason than to go for another round of We Do Not Get Along Trope. The Seps have either a PoW or an Algorhythm allowing them to win battle, no matter what it is, you have to go and rescue/take it. WHY ARE YOU ARGUING.
- I know this is the funny part of ‘Anakin and Padmé are the less subtle ever’ and it was funny (I didn’t hate ALL of the episodes, see ?), but why is she explaining to Anakin why he fights three years into the war other than reminding the public, this is the LEAST EFFECTIVE PLAN ever to hide from Obi-Wan with Rex obviously standing guard.
-Not a critic, just fucking amused : if someone isn’t aware that Padmé and Anakin are a thing, there is a lot of subtext to thing Anakin and Rex have a hidden fling. I don’t even ship it and I could see it x)
- Tell Padmé I say hello. TELL PADME I SAY HELLO. Obi-Wan fucking KNOWS, maybe not the whole “married and pregnant” but hellooooo that was blantant cue that he’s aware they’re together, at the very least so very close friends that they sneak private calls during a siege if Anakin is really dense, we have ONSCREEN PROOF that Obi-Wan SAID OUT LOUD something about it and it makes Anakin thinking Obi-Wan doesn’t know and couldn’t understand in RotS even STUPIDER. Good job Anakin.
- This Galaxy has the most efficient Google Translate ever. Either it’s a known language of the planet you’re going to, and then by doing research amidst the prep to go to the planet everyone or at least Rex as Captain would put the translator to the spoken languages there on his helmet, or it’s an unknown one and yet with two sentences, Tech’s tech (urgh) is able to translate and analyses it well enough to speak it back to them. Wow.
- WHY. IS. THE. JEDI. NOT. USING. THE. FORCE. You’ve worked with Echo before but there’s no mention or even trying to feel him, fine, better have another fight of whether or not he’s truly here, two droids manage to get the drop on you, two droids manage to get the drop on you AND SOMEHOW AREN’T IMMEDIATELY BISECTED, Two droids manage to get the drop on you, survive, AND GIVE YOU ENOUGH TROUBLE YOU NEED SOMEONE TO SHOOT ONE TO GET OUT OF IT.
- Echo, my poor baby TnT I knew this was going to hurt, and it does, it does so much.
-And we’re RIGHT BACK to full on rage rather fast. We go from “he’s so weak he can’t walk, he doesn’t remember anything after the Citadel, he’s so out of it he doesn’t know where he is and ‘notices’ Rex being here two or three times” to “He can walk, he can be yeeted into a vent, he can tightpole walk, he can shoot while standing, he knows the whole base’s blueprints and also all the Separatist’s database.” in like. Five minutes. CONSITENCY FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Why is no one carrying him, why don’t we even get a fucking HUG ?
-Why was everyone yeeted by Dumb Muscles WHEN WE HAVE A JEDI HERE. WHY STILL NO FORCE ??? Clone-yeeting is like Anakin’s favorite pastime, he should have thought of it FIRST, My Moment Has Come.
- Oh FUCK NO. WHY did you even GO BACK TO THE NATIVES’ VILLAGE ? You got dragons, you fly back to your ship that wasn’t damaged in anyway, you evac fast and clean, DONE ! Why go back ? Anakin even says that the Techno Union will strike for helping them BUT UNTIL YOU WENT BACK THEY DIDN’T KNOW THE NATIVES HELPED YOU ! They had no problems until now ! DON’T INVOLVE CIVILIANS ! If they had gone with the plot point of having the natives pick a side and be the ones to save them from that pole by flying to get them, then yes, totally, stay and help and defend them against the retaliation massacre ! But since they didin’t, do NOT go there and draw to them a retaliation massacre.
-FUCK that speech. Sorry Rex, but FUCK THAT. Again, civilians. You are supposed to be the GOOD GUYS trying to STOP THE WAR, not draw innocents into it when it could be avoided. AND THEN LEAVE WHEN YOU JUST TOOK DOWN ONE ATTACK AND THE TECHNO UNION WILL SURELY COME WIPE OUT THAT VILLAGE FOR HELPING YOU AND THERE’LL BE NO JEDI TO SAVE THE DAY.
-Why is everyone suddenly dumb.
-Fuck that “good old days” bullshit. I’m sure there were good times, but your good old days are three years of war and losses. Gimme “now everything will be alright”, because for once someone survived, for once the future is looking hopeful, give me them hoping that it’ll be okay and then gut me with the sheer irony of it all because I know 66 is looming. AND FUCKING HUG HIM DAMMIT, he was almost catatonic thirty minutes ago, at least HELP HIM into the ship rather than leave him standing here alone.
-And no mention of Fives, of course. Idk it may be in episode 4, it BETTER be in Episode 4, otherwise this is “it be like the good old days, yay, btw Fives’ dead”.
I am SO ready for the damn Bad Batch arc to be over and hoping the actual original content is way better. I wished they had scrapped that disaster of an idea full of bad clichés. You want a strike team to go with Rex ? I’ve got a strike team for you : Jesse is an ARC, Kix is both a medic and seen many times with a rifle (AND THE COOLEST HAIRCUT, get us Bly there and give him a tracking speciality with the many ‘primitive’ planets he was on, and we have Aayla for the muscle. That would be badass.
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Thurs 1 Aug
Harry is, unsurprisingly, everywhere today. Lots more gucci fragrance campaign materials today as expected, including footage of Harry driving a vintage car recklessly through a field, fabulous and shades of real life; always the driver. Tons of behind the scene shots, really gorgeous HQs, the actual perfume hit the shelves, and loads of press coverage including an interview. Harry's quotes in it are sweet, some of them quite nice really, like when he talks about finding his own style and "becoming a lot more comfortable" (and others are hilariously deadpan trolling, I'm pretty sure) but the article itself is pointlessly shitty, leaning heavily on a tired Harry vs 1D-who-were-holding-him-back narrative, booorring. Also irritating- Karamo from Queer Eye's recollection of meeting Harry, which is that he told him about the existence of Grindr and blew his little straight guy mind. Okaaay sure. Since literally no one believes that Harry was, as we're told, unaware that it was possible to online date or hook-up, given that he's not actually a recently arrived alien from another planet, interpretations are that either Karamo was covering for him or that he didn't actually out himself to someone who he met only briefly and in a professional context. I'm picturing wide eyed incredulous and innocent looking Harry egging him on like "oh my gosh rilly tell me more"....it's funny, but it isn't too. I wonder if it being that easy to convince people he's slow is depressing for Harry or if at this point he just finds being that drastically underestimated useful. In any case I certainly think he enjoys looking interviewers in the eye and saying things like "oh yes I sleep in the gucci fragrance every night" or "my mom smells like Roman Candles" (and I'm looking forward to more of this fragrance related nonsense in the coming weeks) and watching them nod seriously. Idk if he has a movie role coming up or not but I nominate our boy for an Oscar either way, he's a pro. Unlike, to give just one totally random example of some very unprofessional behavior, the fellow gucci model who let herself be recorded having a crude and graphic conversation about wanting to fuck Harry which was then posted publicly along with a bunch of thirst posts, and said yeah that was me lol when asked like there was nothing wrong with that kind of gross behavior. The posts are down now but what difference does that make? Imagine using your fifteen minutes of fame to say things like that in a public forum about a co worker when you could use it for literally anything else, SMH.
Today we got a video of Liam conversing with to a goat!! That's it that's today's Liam news. Welllll... Okay fine there's more. He also had a big interview article; he says he has an underwear shoot coming so brace yourselves for that, and music soon (oh for more details but the quote is literally "I have music coming soon," not a word more) but mostly it's about clothes of course. Asked about favorite past looks he brings up the Japan This Is Us premier UM YES that truly was an iconic look good call! He referred to his collaboration with Hugo as "a marriage of two brands" which is initially jarring, to see someone refer to themselves as a brand, but he's not wrong is he? I read it as more of one of those slips into the backstage version of talking about things, and will choose to believe or at least hope that Liam is clear on the difference between himself as a person and Liam Payne™️.
Meanwhile, Niall does me a solid and gives me an excuse to mention the excellent pictures posted yesterday of Yungblud and Lewis Capaldi snogging by commenting (😂😂😂) on the post, answers a tweet about whether he has a skin care routine ("yes I do indeed") and he also has an interview out today, in Today's Golfer. He talks about, surprise surprise, golf, for example his mission to get some of his following of 1D fans to take up golf.
And the UK celebrated Yorkshire Day in the best possible way- by tweeting lots about Louis Tomlinson, aka "Doncaster's finest export." Zayn was mentioned here and there as well, but he hasn't tied his image to his northern origins the way Louis has so I'm not surprised he didn't come up as much. That's all the Louis for today, as the "end of July" release date for 1883 Magazine turns out to be a sometime in Aug delivery date so we'll have to wait a little longer for the "interesting news" the interviewer told us we could expect. Plenty of time to get excited about what in the end, might or might not be interesting, only time will tell.
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The Goldfinch movie.
7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??
8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!
9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?
9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)
11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.
14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.
16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!
20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)
23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!
24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.
25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.
25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)
29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.
31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.
32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".
34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)
35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!
35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)
35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*
37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.
39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!
41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!
43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.
45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.
49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?
55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.
58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY
1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.
1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.
1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"
1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.
1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?
1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.
1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??
1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.
1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.
1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)
1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.
1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.
1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.
1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?
1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)
1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.
1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)
1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?
1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)
1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.
1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!
1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)
1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)
1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!
1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.
1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.
1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!
1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)
2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.
2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.
2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.
2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.
2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)
2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.
2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.
2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.
2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.
2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.
2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.
2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.
On the whole
The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.
I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.
Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.
Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.
Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.
Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.
All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.
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So, I’m watching the Heathers 2018 reboot to take notes. I plan to do a video essay after I finish the series.
I regret starting this.
Anyway, here are a few my notes so far.
Heathers (2018) Notes:
⁃ I can’t believe I’m paying for this shit.
⁃ Wait, why is the pilot TV-14 when everything else is TV-MA?
⁃ Also, every single title of each episode is a quote from the movie. I don’t think “Hot probs” was though? Unless I’m missing something? I’ll have to watch the movie AND the musical after this to cleanse my brain.
⁃ Also why is the second episode $20 for HD?
⁃ THE RED SCRUNCHIE. SHANNON DORHERTY (who played Heather Duke in the original) IS IN THIS.
⁃ Yup, Shannon plays his mom. She’s waving and he’s waving back.
⁃ What the hell is this intro?
⁃ [ethereal electronic music]
⁃ Okay, so this is Veronica... Who should really be a Heather.
⁃ I can’t stop laughing at the Khloe Kardashian quote.
⁃ [moody electronic music]
⁃ See, the thing is, is that Veronica had sturdy morals from the beginning. She had a sense of who she was, just not what she wanted. J.D. manipulated her into briefly losing her morals. So, it doesn’t make sense for Veronica to not know who she is.
⁃ I’m pretty sure you can’t ask a student if they’re a hermaphodite. Most colleges don’t care about that anyway.
⁃ Jason Dean’s in the background staring her down during the locker scene and they haven’t actually introduced him.
⁃ Betty’s in this apparently, but not Martha? Because since Chandler is plus-sized, that whole thing wouldn’t work anyway, right?
⁃ [moody finger snaps]
⁃ I can’t believe there’s a song where the lyrics are: “Picture this, I’m a bag of dicks.” “I will punch a baby bear in his shit.”
⁃ Okay, while I clearly appreciate LGBT+ and minority representation in the media, Heathers is the wrong story to use it. In this, the representation is villainized while two white people try to kill them off. That’s complete missing the mark and the lesson of the original, and hell, even the musical.
⁃ Chandler would get dress coded for that outfit. Middle finger choker AND those fishnets, yup.
⁃ “How Banana Republic.” whAT DOES THAT MEAN
⁃ KURT SEEING THE HEATHERS WITH RAM AND NOPING THE FUCK OUT OF THERE IS ME.
⁃ “Remington Squaws.” Look, Ram would also get dress coded for this.
⁃ Also, the reason why “mean girls” like the Heathers and the Plastics were popular is because they were nice to your face, and then would talk shit about you behind your back.
⁃ the finger snaps are rotting my brain already.
⁃ “I’m gonna get a soda.” Proceeds to get a bag of chips.
⁃ oh god JD approached Veronica. What the fuck are they saying by the way? “Meet the new boss?” WTF?
⁃ “I’m not a rebel, Veronica.” The original JD would disagree with that.
⁃ He ends up calling Veronica “my dear” within the first two minutes.
⁃ Heather Duke would be an interesting character if he wasn’t named Heather Duke.
⁃ snappy snack shack looks like a discount Snappy Snack Shack.
⁃ Heather McNamera with their teacher? In public? In the car? No one would be so obvious like that about banging their teacher.
⁃ “Great hummus, but I gotta Tesla.”
⁃ “Such an UGG boot latte sometimes.”
⁃ Did she and Jacob hook up in his car? Idk, all I see is leg and Veronica is checking Chandler’s insta. She did end up posting the pic of Ram in the Remington shirt, but I don’t think he was smiling.
⁃ “What is your father wound, Heather?”
⁃ Veronica just shoulder checked her, which honestly isn’t the same as throwing up on someone’s shoes.
⁃ Chandler got fake drain cleaner from an art thing all over her dress.
⁃ “Lick it up, fatty. Lick. It. Up.” Is nothing compared to the original line. Also, fat-phobic much?
⁃ “My dear” again. That’s twice now and it’s already getting old. The thing is, in the original, JD and Veronica never called each other pet names, except for one time. For JD, it was right before Veronica broke up with him. “Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.” And for Veronica, it was right before she shot JD in the boiler room. “You know what I want, babe? Cool guys like you out of my life.”
⁃ “Let’s snort Adderall, make out, and get slushies.”
⁃ So is Kurt actually gay in this or?
⁃ This JD and Veronica has no chemistry whatsoever.
⁃ I dare JD to throw a better party at the discount Snappy Snack Shack where the cashier won’t yell at you.
⁃ Also, this JD reminds me of Riverdale’s Jughead, but if his personality was the weirdo monologue.
⁃ Those are some weak ass slushies. They’re so watery.
⁃ I was not expecting the fucking bubble gun.
⁃ His dad collects Nazi stuff apparently. Big yikes.
⁃ What are the dolls in Chandler’s room? Why are they on her shelf like that and organized by skin color?
⁃ “Prince Harry me as revenge.”
⁃ Where was that table she fell into in the other shots?
⁃ He gave her the suicide pills by mistake, Big oops.
⁃ “I’m going to be experimenting with lesbianism in San Quentin instead of Sarah Lawrence.”
⁃ “That’s my girl.”
Director: Do a proud smile!
⁃ Duke posted the photo of McNamara with the teacher because they were arguing who would give the eulogy.
⁃ “Isn’t hating on someone for being a murderer equally as rude?” No, it’s not.
⁃ Why is JD wearing sunglasses inside? That just makes him even more guilty.
⁃ Betty is trying to stake her claim on Chandler’s position.
⁃ I honestly wouldn’t mind if the Heathers were Betty and these two girls originally.
⁃ “Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” THEY USED THE LINE and not in a great context.
⁃ And we meet JD’s dad.
⁃ Also, he’s using the Shake Weight and I can’t stop laughing. I’m so distracted by it.
⁃ “Well, son, your presence here has been lovely as usual, but if you don’t mind, my girlfriend and I would like to start having sexual intercourse now.” Right in front of my salad?
⁃ [somber bell music]
⁃ Heather Chandler’s still alive?! Holy shit! She’s been laying there the whole day. She would’ve been dead by now!
⁃ Oh gross, vomit.
⁃ And her phone’s blowing up. Pun intended.
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Mun likes symbolism and The Little Prince jokes went way too far: a guide
{Special thanks to @stardemon39 for wasting an incredible amount of energy on figuring out my dumb dream symbols!} {LONG POST BELOW}
{For those of you who don't already know, for the past... idk... WHILE, I’ve been dropping cryptic hints about Percy’s dreams— particularly one consisting of a lot of imagery of yellow/gold roses, red foxes, and snakes in the grass! The first clue to deciphering literally any of this— which, interestingly, stardemon39 never once mentioned— is that all the imagery comes from the fairy tale of The Little Prince, yet another symbol that’s been talked about on this blog. We already know from Percy that, fitting to her name and manner of being portrayed, she is The Little Prince. But what do the other symbols represent?
Let’s start off with the easiest one— the rose. In The Little Prince, the Little Prince loves a rose: she is the first relationship the Prince has, and for a while, the only relationship he has. However, she unintentionally harms him with her thorns (which, as an anon pointed out, is in and of itself symbolism for the words she uses to protect herself from getting hurt). I thought this fit pretty well overall with Ramsey, and Percy’s first experience of loving someone outside her own family— especially considering he’s a criminal who starts off hurting her just by his way of living (think back to the thread where he broke out of prison and showed up beaten at her doorstep). However, the most important thing to me when devising this symbol was the color of the rose. The original rose in The Little Prince is red, and the Prince’s relationship with her is romantic. (It’s a fairy tale, don’t ask.) However, you all know my Percy is very firmly romance-repulsed, and I needed a way to distinguish that I was not taking anything in a shippy direction considering roses themselves are usually associated with romance. So after a bit of double-checking my flower meanings, I decided to explicitly make Ramsey’s rose yellow— or, as Percy retcons later, gold. Yellow roses (and flowers in general) are the symbol of friendship, and gold just so happens to be like a very intense version of yellow. This was perfect for me, because it links the flower directly to Ramsey, while also showing Percy’s state of mind regarding him: she knows she doesn’t feel romantically about him (red), but she’s not used to the experience of friendship at all (yellow), let alone one that’s so strong it transcends the usual color scale (gold).
TL;DR, Percy realizes that Ramsey means a lot to her, but struggles to put her feelings into words because they don’t fit with any of the relationships (normal flower colors/meanings) she was raised with.
Now we get a bit messier. I’ll confess that I DID briefly consider assigning BOTH the rose and red fox title to Zora— but I realized that while some of the rose’s themes fit her, the only reason I thought of the fox was because Zora herself matches with the stereotypes of a fox (cunning, tricky, clever), which all fit with the snake motif later anyway. Besides, the red fox had a much better match in the context of the story: Meryl. There are a few traits of the fox which suit Meryl well— the fact her hair is, in fact, red, added with how the fox wishes to make friends with the Little Prince (incidentally, because the Prince’s hair is “golden like wheat,” and will give the wheat-fields pleasant meaning for him), while the Prince himself is originally hesitant— but the most important key here is in the quote Percy once spoke to an anon:
“To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . .”
This is, essentially, how Percy views Mundies. It’s already pretty obvious at this point that she uses Epithets to recognize people, not to mention her beliefs about Inscribed being “chosen” as those worthy of gifts to serve others with (a belief further explained by Parapet). But her recent encounter with Meryl— which has been in the works for a long time— has started to give her a new perspective on that. She realizes, in one of those “oh, this should’ve been obvious, but I was too wrapped up in other thoughts to care” moments, that Mundies have unique personalities, strengths, and weaknesses, too— and that maybe she doesn’t hate Meryl’s as much as she thought. Allowing herself to “tame” anybody is risky, because then “[she] shall need [them],” but with Meryl, it’s even more profound, because accepting Meryl is a person is giving her a clear identity rather than just another Mundie/coworker/innocent. “To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . .”
TL;DR, Meryl forces Percy to recognize that all people (including Mundies) are unique when you get to know them, and that forming a kinship inherently adds to their value from a personal stance.
Which, finally, brings us to the snake in the grass: Zora. The snake in The Little Prince is a trickster, much like many snake stereotypes, but I found that it could give a more impactful meaning when you consider that before Zora, Percy never questioned her beliefs. Yes, she was always gullible, but as far as morals were concerned, she saw the world in black-and-white. It was Zora who forced her to think differently on this matter, and it’s Zora who she can’t bring herself to harm even though she has and continues to kill people. A sort of tragic reckoning; the Prince is never as wary of the snake as he should be, and continues to be drawn in by his words despite the danger. Not to mention, we have literally seen Zora as a snake before! And I’m not even the one who sent in that M!A!
Of course, with the end of the fairy tale in mind, what does this mean for the future...?
...Like I’d ever spoil that! But one thing is for certain: Percy should learn to recognize her own feelings, or she’ll be running into battles blind. :)
TL;DR, Zora twists Percy’s way of thinking and also represents an inherently dangerous foe, who Percy continues to encounter and treat on neutral ground even though that poses immense danger in every conceivable way— for better or for worse.
ULTIMATE TL;DR: MUN SPENT WAY TOO LONG MAKING UP SYMBOLS FOR NO APPARENT REASON BESIDES THE INHERENT AESTHETIC OF FAIRY-TALE SYMBOLISM.}
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So last night I asked my server for suggestions on the Galochio fic I’m working on. They were very helpful.
DaisyYesterday at 11:38 PM
how do u get rid of the main villain of a story............ without actually getting rid of them in any effective way?? like i dont want to be "and then he walked away and was never a problem again" because. thats dumb. but i need something to that effect.
Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:38 PM
u could kill him off
Sabrina || chasergirlYesterday at 11:40 PM
I need a little bit more information regarding plot before I can be of any help I think
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:42 PM
distract him with something else entirely?
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:42 PM
family emergency
turtleYesterday at 11:42 PM
Had a doctor’s appointment
SJ || gay theatre kidYesterday at 11:42 PM
eat him
sorry
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:42 PM
he gets sick and has to take a break
turtleYesterday at 11:42 PM
His magic fucked up and went to another dimension
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:43 PM
job pulls him to the complete opposite side of the world
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:43 PM
he took a cruise
turtleYesterday at 11:43 PM
He wanted a vacation
SJ || gay theatre kidYesterday at 11:43 PM
send him to brazil
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:43 PM
got a new phone and lost the protag's cell number
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:43 PM
he broke his teeth and needs to get that shit fixed cuz goddamn
DaisyYesterday at 11:44 PM
im SO glad i didnt give enough context in the first one these are all SUPERB. i did think abt killing him off in the final confrontation but i really dont want this 9 year old murdering her grandpa gjkfds. it COULD be an accident because his powers are big and unstable.
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:44 PM
mild heart attack puts him out of commission for a while
Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:44 PM
goes to antarctica
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:44 PM
coma
DaisyYesterday at 11:44 PM
FUCK
GOES TO ANTARCTICA WINS. I HATE THAT, THANK YOU.
Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:45 PM
electrocution fucks up
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:45 PM
fjsjfjjs
Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:45 PM
he gets killed
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:45 PM
but he gets better
Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:45 PM
no?
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:45 PM
maybe the electrocution backfires and makes him bedridden for the rest of his life
Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:45 PM
yeah
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:45 PM
if he wants
DaisyYesterday at 11:45 PM
he gets killed, but he gets better.........
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:45 PM
it happens
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:45 PM
"better" means "more haunted"
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:46 PM
thank you
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:46 PM
ye I gotchu
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:46 PM
grandpa piss ghost
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:46 PM
send him to the moon
DaisyYesterday at 11:46 PM
he IS Like. ancient. he's ALREADY missing one leg. it would not take much to put him out of commission, but also he's a cockroach.
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:47 PM
dont send him to the moon....
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:47 PM
honestly the first thing that came to mind was despicable me
when they sent fucking vector to the moon
DaisyYesterday at 11:47 PM
portal 2 for me
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:47 PM
moons getting crowded
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:47 PM
how many antagonists have gotten stuck on the moon? holy shit?
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:48 PM
Usagi the moon bunny has a prison for antagonists
SmolMuffinYesterday at 11:48 PM
Alright gonna write a massive crossover of villains on the moon/j
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:48 PM
maybe just... make him cry and have a breakdown or something idk
he cant do shit if he's in bed all day like me
SmolMuffinYesterday at 11:49 PM
Also for a idea im not too sure
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:49 PM
he can cry on moontarctica
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:49 PM
Daisy if this is your psy oc I think you can get pretty absurd with it
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:49 PM
the moon: now with snow
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:49 PM
cold moon.....
that's how they keep the cheese fresh
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:50 PM
maybe just smack him with a newspaper
or pour concrete on him just leave his head above the surface or smth
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:50 PM
y'all are on the moon, meanwhile I've got him forever bedridden like Charlie Bucket's grandparents
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:50 PM
mood
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:51 PM
except grandpa Joe I mean
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:51 PM
dude what if like some sort of freak accident happens that just fucking snipes him and makes him useless
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:51 PM
that bed? It's on the moon now
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:51 PM
oh to be an old lady and sleep on the moon...
DaisyYesterday at 11:51 PM
it is the psy OC!!! her grandpa SUCKS and he's genuinely the worst person ive ever written and he wont!! DIE!!!
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:52 PM
oh.... oh my god..... to be Wallace from the Wallace and gromit go to the moon and have cheese and crackers.
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:52 PM
ghagfdka;gh
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:53 PM
maybe you can send him on a wild goose chase
for forever
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:53 PM
daisy heres what you do ok. you uhhhhh wait for him to die of old age naturally and see what his will says in an exciting will-reading scene
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:53 PM
just continuously give him red herrings
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:53 PM
imagine I put quotes around exciting
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:53 PM
give this man a macguffin, slap him on the back and say "go get em"
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:53 PM
red herrings? Why not a very fun destination???
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:54 PM
dude sell his soul to whatever sort of dark power there is for a single corn chip
bonk him on the head so hard he becomes a toddler again
uhhh
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:54 PM
what's that app that sends you on adventures based on what you wanna find?
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:54 PM
geocache?
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:54 PM
bonk him on the head in general
aye i've done those before those are fun
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:55 PM
Pokemon go??
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:55 PM
not geocache but close
hang on I saw a vid of it recently
Randonautica
Sabrina || chasergirlYesterday at 11:55 PM
I mean... if you just have them be fidgety about it for a while... there doesn’t necessarily need to be an explanation now that I think about it
A lot of things could happen to him once he’s out of their sight that they might not end up hearing about
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:56 PM
send him to the mariana trench
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:56 PM
he steps away and gets hit by a bus a la Mean Girls
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:56 PM
all of the above
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:57 PM
theres a bus in the mariana trench?
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:57 PM
theres about to be
Sabrina || chasergirlYesterday at 11:57 PM
Pfft... he starts to walk away and quartermaster shows up, hitting him with the bus, and just turns to the kids and goes “bus is here”
DaisyYesterday at 11:57 PM
the most ambitious crossover of all time....
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:57 PM
snipe him so fucking hard that theres a crossover
dude just take his knees
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:57 PM
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:57 PM
like just take them off
un-velcro his knees
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:58 PM
FUCK
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:58 PM
GOD
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:58 PM
bus in the trench
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:58 PM
THERES THE FUCKING BUS
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:58 PM
DAMMIT
BUS IN THE TRENCH
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:58 PM
TRENCHBUS GOTTEM
DaisyYesterday at 11:58 PM
well "bus in the mariana trench'' has clearly already been done >:T
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:58 PM
damn yeah
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:58 PM
make it a mack truck
DaisyYesterday at 11:58 PM
nothings original these days
Lays || trenchbus driverYesterday at 11:59 PM
original trench vehicle do not steal
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaYesterday at 11:59 PM
give him a "mid-life" crisis and make him go soul searching or something
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Yesterday at 11:59 PM
exactly! you can use mariana trench bus
Sabrina || chasergirlYesterday at 11:59 PM
Ok, but back to serious answers: they could possibly read in the newspaper about him being arrested for something seemingly unrelated but that they and the readers may be able to connect the dots to some sinister thing he was attempting to do to them somehow?
Theo || teddy assigned mormonYesterday at 11:59 PM
he gets sniped byh miss frizzle eastAugust 17, 2020
DaisyToday at 12:00 AM
OH WAIT FUCK UR RIGHT
THE WHOLE
yall.
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:00 AM
let him realize that the most important lesson here is friendship
DaisyToday at 12:00 AM
im so fucking stupid
the WHOLE STORY. IS ABOUT HOW HES BEING INVESTIGATED BY THE PSYCHIC FBI
Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:00 AM
friendship saves the day....
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaToday at 12:00 AM
theres only one braincell in this server its okay we're all just taking turns with it
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:00 AM
GHHGHAHG;GHRR
Sabrina || chasergirlToday at 12:00 AM
LMFAO
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:00 AM
THEY GOTTEM
Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:01 AM
FBI stands for Friendship Bureau of Investigation
DaisyToday at 12:01 AM
i was SO FOCUSED ON THE END SCENE I FORGOT IT WAS CONNECTED TO A STORY........
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:01 AM
LAYS IS THE TRENCHBUS DRIVER
Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:01 AM
uwu
Sabrina || chasergirlToday at 12:01 AM
“How do I eliminate this character being pursued by the fbi?” “My first option is to have him be murdered by children but I’d prefer not to have to resort to that”
I love it
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:01 AM
ngfdk;sgkfag;f
we all out here trying to play cabin in the woods with this old man
DaisyToday at 12:02 AM
never once did i claim to be clever
Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:02 AM
and he would've gotten away with it too if it wasnt for this meddling government agency
Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:03 AM
thus ends the saga of grandpa piss
DaisyToday at 12:03 AM
i am going to CRY this has been an adventure holy SHIT
Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:04 AM
he sure did go a lot of places
spry old fucker
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:04 AM
I wonder how many trench buses he had to wait for
DaisyToday at 12:04 AM
you'd think at like 89 with one good leg he wouldn't get around as much but here we are
Laamb || campkeeper 👻Today at 12:05 AM
he was probably rolling around in that bed 8T
Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:05 AM
you can go anywhere with a bus pass and a sense of adventure
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaToday at 12:05 AM
can we make that zero good legs? i have a nice crowbar right here i can use
DaisyToday at 12:05 AM
BE MY GUEST
Blaze || not-quite-cocoaToday at 12:05 AM
im gonna put this man in a walmart scooter
kiss your knees goodbye
Lays || trenchbus driverToday at 12:06 AM
(dont stop tho he has more trenchbuses to get hit by)
Theo || teddy assigned mormonToday at 12:08 AM
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Tagged by @sunset-cassaparilla !!
Tagging tbh anyone who wants to!! idk who has or hasn’t but also my brain is still fried RIP
fun story i have so many wips written for 3 of the fallout games but i am.. smol & shy when it comes to my writing i guess?? one day u will all get to read the terrible things i do to tony i promise
Name: Emily
Fandom(s): Fallout, Elder Scrolls, Mass Effect, Dragon Age, probably others but i uhhh little brain
Where You Post: Tumblr (used to be DeviantArt but eugh.. Eclipse.......)
Most Popular One-Shot: me?? post writing online????
Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: honestly i can barely piece together my thoughts idk how to make chapters flow together pensive emoji
Favorite Story You Wrote: i’m writing something for Anthony that’s got multiple notes to it on my phone, but out of all those i have one where Garret and Anthony are interacting from Rosemary’s pov and for some reason that one stuck with me??
How You Choose Your Titles: for Fallout i go with 50s song titles bc i am. Original.. but i have been known to consider like shakespeare quotes or plays on words oof
Complete: uhh i might have like.. 4 in my phone notes right now but i haven’t posted them bc they require prior context that i haven’t finished writing bc that is how my brain works
Incomplete: oh.. So Many....... at least like 35 of my notes on my phone are wips
Do You Outline?: No bc i am a Fool. unless visualizing in my head counts hfjkgfd
Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: well uhh a lot if i can figure out how to structure things
Do You Accept Prompts?: i think it’d be cool!! like i can manage to finish short like few paragraph things no problem. i used to have a fo4 react blog too in i think high school too & it was fun oof
Excited To Write: currently anything involving Anthony bc idk if i mentioned but i am a fool and i love him.. also rps always
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okay I’m gonna liveblog the lion king we’re going to punch this dead horse until it gets up and walks away.
it’s just going to be a giant text wall of me complaining and nitpicking everything I think they should have done instead of what they did so probably just skip this one.
re: the bland visual design of this movie - elephant graveyard, nala says the sun is going down so why didn’t they take this opportunity to perhaps. have the sun be actually going down. and give the whole scene an ominous dusky red tone. that would have looked cool.
every once in a while a character emotes in a way that I’m like “okay, they can give them expressions and body language, they’re just deciding not to for some reason.”
I feel like this is a perfect example of my issue with this; when simba does the “I laugh in the face of danger” cackle, nothing really moves except his mouth. and I don’t know why, because like. the one on the left is what they did. the one on the right is still well within the range of realistic movement for a feline but it doesn’t look like a trained animal meowing on cue that got dubbed over with laughing.
and I can’t figure out why they wouldn’t go with the one on the right. and it frustrates me. this is a thing that happens constantly in this movie and I can usually pinpoint exactly how they could have animated it differently.
the zoomed out shots and color/arrangement of the mufasa lecture are really pretty though. if they’d just stop zooming in on the faces while they’re talking.
... okay, no, we’ve transitioned scenes and we’re looking at hyenas now but this is exactly the same color scheme and I don’t think there’s a deliberate reason for it. that’s not how. no. at least make the blue more washed out or something if you have to make both scenes blue.
I’m going to take video editing software and alter the lighting/color overlays of every scene in this movie.
I won’t do that but I want to. disney has done so good in the past with color theory and this is hurting me.
okay so ironically, I’ve heard a lot of complaints from various sources about what they did to Be Prepared, but honestly this is the only scene so far that’s really worked for me. it’s so much less uncomfortable with the visual style for him to be mostly speaking the lines in an understated menacing kind of way and it all came together really nicely. I haven’t liked all of Scar’s scenes so far but he’s definitely my favorite thing they’ve done here on average. also for some reason they don’t seem to be as afraid of giving him movement and expressions as with the other characters, maybe it’s just that he’s already the most visually distinctive idk.
anyway, Be Prepared was good and I genuinely enjoyed watching it, they should have done that with the first song if they weren’t going to do something crazy and colorful. critics were wrong. water is wet.
the voice acting in this movie really is just all over the place. it’s scanning like an elder scrolls game where the actors were just given most of their lines out of context in alphabetical order or something. because now we have “stampede in the gorge! Simba’s down there!!” [acted well but blank expression] “Simba?” [spoken in a tone that implies “oh, is that rascal in the gorge? interesting” and not “are you telling me my son is about to be trampled by ungulates???”] and I can’t tell how much is actually weird acting and how much just seems weird because it’s matching up badly with the animation.
so the action shots are good, they can do action, it’s just when they’re standing and talking that it gets awkward.
I think the reason Scar works for me more than the others is that all his concern and intentions are fake and we know that so if a line/animation falls flat it matters less.
the wildebeest scene is actually pretty okay, again because it’s mostly action. I can live with it.
don’t like the delivery of “long live the king” but at this point whatever
I already knew it wasn’t going to match the emotional impact of the original death scene because honestly what would, but this was a really unfortunate time to go back to not animating any facial expressions. simba’s voice actor is just giving it their all but visually they’re giving me nothing here.
Scar’s voice acting is fascinating, half the time the actor sounds completely checked out but when his lines land they land really well, so now I’m starting to think he was just given bad directions.
the extra scenes that weren’t in the original are like, noticeably better than the others. it’s almost like realism has a time and a place and can work well when you aren’t trying to remake a cartoon scene for scene with it. I suspect this is why I liked the jungle book so much but am not having a good time watching the lion king at all.
I rest my case about action shots: Timon and Pumbaa still don’t have facial expressions for the most part but they never stop moving and bounce around like cartoons, so it doesn’t look weird that they’re talking.
WHY DID SIMBA REACT WITH MORE VISIBLE FEAR TO PUMBAA SINGING THAN HE DID TO A WILDEBEEST STAMPEDE
kind of living for Timon’s inexplicable but honestly fitting gay lisp
again, everything around these two is more cartoonish and it works. so. much. better.
did they just fucking change animation teams entirely after the stampede or something.
the lions’ voice actors still really need to tone down their singing in comparison to the animations though, this is why be prepared was the only one that’s really worked. I mean it’s really good singing but that’s sort of the problem. to quote deadpool, they’re singing at eleven but we need like a five or six.
on the other hand I can’t believe we got that whole extra scene and Nala is literally voiced by Beyonce but they still didn’t put in Shadowland.
this is honestly going so much better than the first act because it’s not a shot-for-shot remake anymore and they’re actually writing their own scenes that, obviously, work better with the medium. I really hope it continues like this.
except for the fact that simba still just stares blankly at everything, that’s not great.
please. make a facial expression.
we’re back in “scenes that happened in the original movie” land and it is not a happy place.
there’s no iteration of this scene I can watch without thinking about the rafiki vine
god FUCKING damn it there was exactly ONE SCENE in the ENTIRE movie that SHOULD have been remade word for word and you CHANGED THE ENTIRE TONE OF THE SCENE. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS. WHY WOULD YOU MESS WITH REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE. THAT SCENE FELT LIKE A RUINED SNEEZE.
FUCK;.
I’m so mad. it was finally starting to be a fun movie to watch and they did that. did they honestly think “I will always be proud of you son” would ever have the impact of “you are more than what you have become”
simba stop talking.
everyone stop talking you’ve already talked all the emotional impact out of this scene.
the soundtrack and new scenes are absolutely wasted on the entire rest of the movie. the travel montage is good but I’m still mad about the mufasa thing.
and let me be clear I’m cool with the visual decisions with the clouds that everyone’s mad about, that was fine if slightly too subtle. the problem is that they altered and drew out the dialogue in such a way as to completely defang the whole scene.
we’re still not gonna explain why the hyenas are bad or how Scar managed to cause a massive drought just by overhunting huh.
I can’t believe he’s hoarding all the food AND all the facial expressions for himself.
okay look disney you can’t just shoehorn a Girl Fight into every movie and call it feminism. what history do Nala and Shenzi even have to warrant this dialogue.
why did they put the simba/king music as a backdrop to rafiki beating up hyenas, this feels like when they used the nazgul theme for thorin in the hobbit. I’m at the point where I keep thinking “okay I’m just gonna stop typing and watch the rest and be done” but they keep doing weird shit.
good job nala you defeated your lifelong arch nemesis, the hyena you were once in the room with while she talked to someone else
again, the action shots are good. the problems arise when they start saying words at each other.
this movie has a big “people yelling lines that need to be said quietly for maximum impact” problem
in all sincerity this is badass now that they’ve stopped talking
this would be a better movie if it wasn’t the lion king.
Simba defeated Scar and absorbed his ability to have facial expressions, wild.
all right final two scenes are exact reshots of the original but blander, and we’re done
holy shit that’s too many producers that explains a lot
okay well it was okay for a while in the middle and the bits where they actually added new things and/or exercised some creativity, and I kinda liked the reimagining of Timon and Pumbaa, but this went about as expected. it’s not like it’s a horrible movie or anything but if I was gonna show a kid the lion king I would show them the original because it flows better, it’s more visually appealing, and you can actually tell characters apart at a glance. also they used color theory properly. seriously who let that get by. you are more than what you have become, disney.
anyway this movie’s biggest flaw is that it didn’t need to exist in the first place and the people who made it exist anyway were goddamn cowards about it thanks for coming to my ted talk.
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fourthage replied to your post “so, I write a fair amount of smut. porn? Rated E Fic? People fuck, is...”
Because you are writing porn about fictional people and it’s not real. Commenters who cross the TMI line are bringing you into their personal sex life without giving you an option to opt out. That doesn’t stop being inappropriate because it’s happening on a computer screen instead on face to face.
Oh, definitely. I was mostly being facetious in my original comment, but yes, that is very true. BUT. To be more serious: I think the problem is, in a world where sexual-styled language is used to describe things that aren’t sex all the time, and where some people find some things more vulgar than other people, and when commenting on one’s personal reaction to fic is considered a good thing, I can see where the line gets blurry.
Like, “wow, good smut” to “hot” to “hnng” to “I’ll be in my bunk” is an easy to follow progression, and all innocuous (especially since that bunk-line is explicitly a Jayne quote when in context everyone knew he was being inappropriate but it works well as fandom short hand? If you’ve observed any Whedon/Firefly fandom, anyways) but then it is a really small side-ways step to more physical comments that still aren’t explicit for all they’re obvious iykwim? *shrugs*
idk. I’ve gotten a few comments that I think were more than I needed to know, but very few that I could unequivocally say were pushing the lines of appropriate in a generally accepted sense such that maybe I should say something about boundaries.
ellexa1622 replied to your link “i am for you (ch 14) | Archive of Our Own”
I Love that fic so much, I know we're going o be hurt...I'm already ready fr the fact that Alec's hurting will hurt me (and Magnus). Thank you for your work
awww, the hurting’s almost all past tense, it shouldn’t be too bad. Then again, I usually think it all ends well, this isn’t so bad! and then people yell “ow” at me, so perhaps I’m a terrible judge of such things?
thedivinemissema replied to your link “a blight unbearable | Archive of Our Own”
I still very much love this story!
I’M SO GLAD. I’m still sorry it took so long. 💖💖💖
twistedsinews replied to your post “power went out. inexplicably. (*magnus.gif: TWICE!*) So I lost the...”
re: followers. We are a hedge, please move along.
ilu 🐱👤🌿
syzara replied to your post “power went out. inexplicably. (*magnus.gif: TWICE!*) So I lost the...”
agreeing with office & bedroom not being a good combination.
yeah, we’ve been trying to figure out a way to rearrange for awhile, cuz the husband’s office set-up isn’t really working either, but we have to keep him sort of separate since he teleworks periodically? *shrugs* We’ll figure it out eventually.
lynne-monstr replied to your post “power went out. inexplicably. (*magnus.gif: TWICE!*) So I lost the...”
ughhh thata sucks about the power. good luck hunting down the chocolate and please save some for me!
sorry, ate all the chocolate. there’s some bailey’s left, if you wanna join me for alcohol at some point tho? 💗
annakie replied to your post “lynne-monstr reblogged your post “Leverage for the fandom thing!” ...”
IT SHOULDN'T BUT YET IT DOES. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND IT'S SO SAD EVEN WHEN IT'S FAKE. (Also I shoulda finished reading before responding lol.)
nah, it was an accurate response, no apology needed. BECAUSE THEY REALLY DO AND IT REALLY REALLY IS
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