#also if anyone wants to respond with something funny as the pastor go ahead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

burning-clutch · 4 years

Text

Crashing Like A Tidal Wave With Cardiac Arrest: Part 2

Read on a03: Here (chapter 2 of 2) Pairings: Jack/Maddie Trigger Warnings: Blood and violence. major character death (part 1) Author: @burning-clutch (Team Ghost) Total words: 6132 Prompt by: Anthropwashere / Anthrop AO3 and FFN: Anthrop

-.-.-.-

Danny was numb… numb to everything.

He could feel his friends hugging him tightly, and his father and whoever else clung to him at any given moment to offer him comfort, but it did little. He had never realized you could hurt so much you could become this numb… Emotionally, that is to say

He felt tired too, but not physically... Purely emotionally tired. He was tired of having people ask him how he was holding up, and how he was doing, how they could help him. He didn’t know how to help himself so how could they?

He remembers food, he remembers the days like they were a blur leading up to the funeral. He was just… aware but not there. His mother was cremated, and the urn chosen was one of a pretty polished blue and black stone. Not that it mattered… he was too busy staring blankly at the picture of his mother that was sitting in front of the infernal holder.

His mother smiling so brightly and carefree in the picture, taken from their last extrusion to the celestial observatory, his mother who stood at a decent height, condensed into a tiny stone container the size of his head…. He could hardly fathom it…

He hardly heard the words his father said and couldn’t understand the ones his sister had tried to get out, her tears blocking her voice from truly projecting itself, despite there being a microphone there.

Then it was Danny’s turn to speak. Normally public speaking would give him butterflies in his stomach, which at this point would be a welcome change to the numbness settled in his chest… but alas it was not to be. He had his speech printed out, and he read it flatly. When he was done he left the podium and didn’t even feel it when he tripped down the small three stair height difference and face planted on the hardwood floor.

He simply pushed himself up and continued on. That seemed to be all he ever did nowadays…

His one major saving grace was there were only a few ghost attacks that had happened, and the ones that did were simple minded animal ghosts that had no semblance of true intelligence. He was thankful for that… he could comfortably leave those to the Red Huntress and take some time for himself to just… well… be numb.

Danny watched blankly ahead as a few more people went up and said their piece, before the pastor, priest, daikon? Whatever the guy was, came up to say his closing statements. Then he rose, wordlessly and grabbed his part of the case, a ghost as a pallbearer would be ironic, funny even if he wasn’t numb.

They didn’t have to walk far, the funeral home that they were in for the service, had the cemetery just in the back. There was an odd sense of finality when they put the urn into place in the wall. A vase to the side of the plaque was practically overflowing with fresh flowers.

Another odd feeling came when they hung the plack in place. Maddie Fenton with her birth year and death year subscribed in bronze forevermore, while Jack Fenton, was beside it, birth year in place but the death year left open like some sort of taunting reminder to the man’s own mortality.

Jack sighed, running his hand across the plaque seemingly having a similar thought to his son as he didn’t stop at just Maddie’s name, tracing over his own.

“We should go. The wake is starting…” Jazz’s soft voice seemed to startle Jack from whatever thoughts had been running in his head. Still, he nodded and off they went.

Danny seemed to blink and he was there, Sam and Tucker once again glued to his sides as Danny stared blankly at the TV that showed pictures of his mother on loop. Nothing felt real. This was like a horrible dream worse than anything Nocturne could conjure up.

But it was real. Too real.

Jazz had been trying, she really had, but with Danny and Jack both having had seen the grizzly seen, the blood the-- the… Danny shook his head. It was too much to process…

It was something straight out of a movie, but the scent will be something that he knows will haunt him longer than anything else…

Danny blinked again and a sandwich was in his hand. Egg maybe? It didn’t matter, he wasn’t hungry, and besides, he didn’t really need to in here. The grief and sorrow were practically supercharging his ghost side. That would keep his human half satiated too.

The next time Danny blinked he found himself in a car, someone he wasn’t related to, or maybe he was, he couldn’t remember and frankly didn’t care to. As another blink sent him home where he and his father were curled up on the couch together. They were both sitting and staring blankly ahead at the TV which had been off for a while now, Jack’s arm around his son in a rather weak side hug, well for Jack anyway.

Danny was just thankful for the contact, the sort of normalcy and grounding the gesture brought. The other thing he was thankful for was that Vlad hadn’t tried to weasel his way into the funeral home, for, well, any of it.

It was refreshing actually. Though it also made him suspicious.

He also hadn’t really gotten too much time to talk with his father about the revelation either, and what that meant moving forward, and Danny, of course, didn’t want to push the man about it, but now the funeral was over those thoughts returned full force. At least his Dad was still here with him, that was something. Right?

Still …

“Dad… I’m…. I’m sorry.” Danny said after a moment of silence.

“I know… but you shouldn’t have to be. It’s not your fault and none of this should have ever been on you….” Came Jack’s sombre response. “If anyone’s to blame it’s that Wisconsin ghost… he’s been plaguing this family ever since we went to that family reunion in Wisconsin... “ Jack shook his head.

“I still should have… should have told you sooner… and mom too...” Danny argued back weakly, flicking his reddened eyes to his father. When had he started crying again?

“It doesn’t matter now… I … that didn’t come out right…” Jack sighed rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I mean I know now so you shouldn’t have to worry over the what if’s son…”

“Still…” Danny started but was cut off as his father turned to him and hugged him tightly, pressing the air out of him.

Jack had a few tears that flowed free from his eyes himself, though he refused to let go even as he could feel his boys snot building on the back of his jumpsuit. “You really can’t change the past, and even if you could, you shouldn’t… this isn’t something that we like, but it’s how it should be I think... It’s just something we need to get through right?”

Danny sighed, he got that message loud and clear, thanks, Clockwork… “Yeah…” he responded despite the inner turmoil he was facing.

The numbness continued for the week, falling in line with his routine. Even when ‘Phantom’ once again started reappearing in public, people commented on his lack of glow, though he had regained some of his lustre from the day his mother was killed, taken from him, cut down in her prime, he looked nothing like he usually did.

When Val, or rather The Red Huntress, confronted him about his duller look. Danny had tried to avoid her, had told her he didn’t want to talk about it, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer, shooting and attacking him as she normally does… Only this time, for Danny at least, it was different…

He had only wanted to fire a small blast, enough to take down her board’s engine and make her lose control of her speed and have to land… what he got was a large emotionally charged blast that obliterated her board. Danny stared at his hand a moment before snapping into action catching Valerie at the last second and turning them intangible.

When they were safely on the ground he’d uttered a quiet ‘sorry’ before going invisible and flying off, leaving a bewildered and angry huntress in his wake. The ghost was clearly getting more powerful… buy why. She’d remembered it starting right around Maddie Fenton’s death but… that couldn’t possibly be related…

She vowed to track him down again and shoot the answers out of him… as soon as she gets a new board that is…

The routine continued like this for a while for Danny… he was numbly floating on some days and hardly there on others. He would get up, eat, and go to school. Come home stare blankly at his off computer screen before going on a lacklustre patrol before dinner. He would patrol again before bed then sleep. Rinse, repeat.

After about two weeks he started to see things in his father again, how he would smile at Jazz when she came home with a perfect score, or how he would excitedly eat fudge, even how the large man started to regain some of his normal volume.

That it turn helped Danny regain some sense of normalcy to allow himself the illusion that everything was fine. That if he just went down the hall at night he would see his parents cuddle up together in their bed, of id he went down to the lab after school his mother would be there,

Yet it never was…

Danny had the sad realization, once his father started bouncing back to a bit of his normal personality, that was, that he didn’t notice as much of his mother’s lack of presence now…

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

His mother was always in the lab or working on some kooky invention or another, and when he did see her it was at the dinner table. Even then sometimes there were days often more than not, where she would opt to work through the family dinner time. Jack had always come up with the mention of food.

It was the main thing Danny had always wanted more of as a family… normal dinners. One’s where they just ate stuff and talked about how school was and not how they planned on dissecting ‘Phantom’ much like his father had started doing now… and all without his mom…

Jazz had helped pick up the extra chores to make it easier on Jack, and Danny had already started to do his own laundry before this… Meals had been rotated from person to person now… a schedule that his mother wasn’t on but worked without… the floors were still swept and vacuumed and the furniture was still dusted.

Jack hadn’t been in the lab as much either stating that it just wasn’t the same without her and it was too raw a nerve for him at the moment… but still, without his mom, he saw so much more of his father…

He hated that normalcy now… that sense that things were alright when everything felt so foreign, yet so… so… he didn’t know what to think really and that was the problem. He just didn’t understand this overly complex mix of emotion or the fact that he could enjoy this house without his mother in it.

It just felt wrong to do so…

Was it wrong? Or was that just him being a screw up again?

It was some time, almost a month later he’d found out Vlad had taken pity on him and made sure that the ghosts would leave Amity alone when Skulker showed up for the first time in a while. Surprisingly the hunting ghost paused his attack and backed off fairly quickly after Danny had exploded on him.

Both figuratively and literally, if the smouldering hole in the pavement from his halfhearted ghostly wail about his mother’s passing had anything to say about it. Skulker seemed to become contemplative a moment before disappearing back to wherever he’d come from.

And Danny simply continued on his way back to class, trying to calm his shaking hands and aching heart. Not to mention he had to try to make it back before Valerie was able to get out here herself and after him…

It was later that night though when something changed, something felt off, he just didn’t know what it was at first… Though when his ghost sense went off, stronger than it had been the last little bit, and he sensed two decently powerful ghosts, he knew he had to head out, despite his father's asking that he stay in the house once it was past midnight.

He heard the fight before he’d seen it, thought the smoke that billowed up from downtown was a good indicator of where he was headed. He zipped off towards the city’s core and instantly had to flick into intangibility as Skulker was thrown at him.

Danny blinked and frowned watching the robotic hunter spark and twitch felled on the ground, before looking up to his new opponent. His hands that were awash with energy fizzled out in an instant as he stared open mouthed to the new ghost before him.

They were female in form the hips and chest made that obvious. Her hair was icy blue and moved in an invisible wind and like smoke, it disappeared when it moved too far away from the source. Her eyes were a bright golden colour with iris only a shade or two darker and what would be the whites of her eyes only a shade or two brighter, making her eyes appear to be wholly that colour of gold.

Her clothing was made up of mostly reds, whites and blacks in a tight form fitting suit that looked more like something a fighter pilot would wear, rather than a rubbery spandex that Danny would have been expecting.

The white pouch that hung at her hip bobbed a bit as she turned her narrowed and angered luminescent eyes to Danny’s current green ones. But Danny couldn’t move he was frozen to the spot, Though the skin had a touch too much green and looked all too smooth like that of a doll, there was no mistaking it…

“M-Mom?” he had whispered out.

The woman screwed up her face and blinked at the ghost before her. Something sparking in the back of her mind but it was muted… did she know him before maybe? “Mom? I don’t know? Am I?”

Danny was awestruck yet still too rooted to the spot in the air to move his mouth agape as he stared at her confused posture, a slender finger poking at her lip as she bit the corner, screwing up her face in thought and strain.

Before Danny could speak he was snapped out of his thoughts by a loud. “Whelp!”

Danny spun instantly, hands reigniting their fire as he snarled at Skulker, core flaring in the need to protect his mother’s ghost. His aura burned brighter than it had for almost a month, and yet, Skulker simply raised his sparking and twitching hands in a placating gesture.

“I’ve brought you a gift Whelp. One Plasmius would have undoubtedly had me deliver to him,” Skulker said simply, causing the heat on Danny’s gaze to increase. Again Skulker waved his hand in a pointless gesture to soothe him. “I have not clearly. You have become weak without this one in your afterlife, so I brought her here so that I may hunt you again soon... you are of little challenge to me as you are now, whelp and I will not lose my title of Ghost Zone’s greatest hunter because I took out a prey in an unfair game.“

Danny blinked a few times as his rage died down. He did something nice? Granted it seemed it was for a selfish reason but still… He had his mother back… Sort of.

“If that’s all you came here for then leave” Danny ordered butting every ounce of his anger behind the command.

Skulker huffed but nodded turning away. “Until next time, whelp,” he said with a small smirk before fading from the visual spectrum.

Danny turned back to his mother and offered a small smile, watching as she too extinguished the yellow-green glow in her hands. She seemed to size him up for a moment before adopting a more casual stance in the air, while Danny was once again struck with awe.

“What do you call yourself then?” She’d asked after a moment, her eyes had roamed his form and still, the spark was there, she felt… something and she had to know.

“Phantom… Danny Phantom, I… Mom I’m so happy to see you” Danny couldn’t help himself. He flew top speed into the woman and clung to her chest like he was just a small child, tears flowing freely. Tears of joy this time, Tears of relief.

“Mom,” She mused. Her body was stiff at first when the other had ‘attacked’ her but she quickly realized this was something else. Following an instinct that guided her, she reached up and swam her fingers through the boy's ivory locks. It seemed to trigger something in the boy as he squeezed her tighter, and nodded his head into her shoulder.

“I’ve been calling myself Vexera, is that close to who I was… Before?” The ghostly woman asked after a moment.

“N-No… I don’t think so…. Your name was Mandoline officially, but you preferred Maddie, and well Dad called you Mads.” Danny explained.

She hummed to herself in thought, a low melodic sound. “Mad… Vex I think I see the connection,” she chuckled brightly. “Then if it’s true, you’re my son?”

“Yeah, Yeah! I am… I… I tried to save you. I really did! I never wanted this to happen, and you’ve died and it’s my fault! And you probably hate me for it, but I still love you so much!” Danny rambled off in a whir of tears.

Maddie simply held her son tight idly playing with his hair, her core sparked and it soothed her as she comforted him, telling her this was good. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s your fault, or rather I don’t feel mad at you anyway… I have a lot of anger towards something, it’s part of why I picked Vexera for a name, anger was all I knew at first, but... I know it’s not you that I’m mad at,” she soothed

“I… You’re not?” Danny practically whimpered into her shoulder. He sniffs a bit before wiping his face on his jumpsuit sleeve and looking her in the eye.

“No, I’m not.” She repeated simply offering a small smile to the teen.

“Still I’m sorry I-”

“Freeze ghost skum!” A shot of a reddish pink ectoblast whizzed towards them snapping Danny out of his sorrow and into battle mode. Instantly a green shield came up around him and his mother’s ghost blocked the blast.

Danny glared at Valerie, his eyes burning holes into her head, hands flaring, beside him Maddie readied herself in much the same manner. “Not the time, Red” He hissed to her.

“You’re looking normal again, ghost, and now you’ve got yourself a cohort!” The huntress snarled out to the ghosts.

“Mom? Do you remember where we lived?” Danny asked though the woman responded with a shake of her head to the negative. Danny frowned this would be harder then…

“Mom?” Valerie scoffs. “Ghosts don’t have mothers.” She hissed out charging another shot.

“I still am a mother,” Meddie growled fiercely. Her own aura sparking dangerously with electricity. “I had two kids when I was alive! And I’m still their mother even now!”

Danny couldn’t help the smile spreading across his face. “Are you starting to remember stuff mum?” he asked, completely ignoring Valerie in favour of the more pressing issue.

“A bit… I think I remember the house… it’s big with a-”

“Great, go towards the house then if you remember where my room is, go into there okay? I’ll deal with this then head over and we’ll properly talk.” Danny said, interrupting his mother before she could spill the beans on where he lived.

“Are you sure, Sweetie?” She asked.

Danny’s heart melted and his aura sparked in kind hearing her say that. It had been a month since he’d been called any embarrassing pet names by his mother. It was one of the stupidest things he’d found himself missing over the month.

Valerie shot a blast and Danny matched it with his own causing it to mix and explode into an odd sickly purple brown smoke. “You’re not going anywhere ghost!” Valerie called out heading out through the smoke to attack more physically.

Danny went up, Maddie went left, with Valerie following close behind apparently having deemed the newer ghost less of a threat or an easier target.

It was the wrong move though, as Danny’s core sparked and he spun around and took off like a shot towards the huntress, slamming into her, and catching her off guard. Phantom was hardly ever an up close fighter with her, preferring to stay back and shoot her as opposed to attacking her directly.

Valerie let out a yelp as she was suddenly slammed by the speeding freight train that was Phantom before the pair slammed into an apartment rooftop. She yelled and hissed in pain but her suit had taken the majority of the damage.

But really, what made her gasp more than anything was that she was staring into the fully green overfilled eyes of Phantom. No whites of his eyes no Pupil just green voids in his skull. It was creepy and the snarl on his face with bared fangs was the most ghostly she had ever seen him.

He let out a hissing noise that sounded like static before blinking a few times. His eyes cleared of they’re solid green state but his glare was no less fierce. He seemed slightly confused but saw his ‘mom’ floating nearby and seemed to relax somewhat.

“What did you do that for!? I swear if you broke my board again-” Valerie ground out.

“Sweetie?” Maddie’s voice struck through Danny’s obsession blinded brain as he turned to look at his mother.

“I’m fine… I just... “ He shook his head and turned his glare back to Valerie. “Don’t you dare touch her.”

“You don’t tell me what to do ghost!” Valerie spat back wrist ray popping out from her suit in retaliation.

“No, but I do, and I say stand down.” A new voice sounded as the door to the roof opened.

“What? But I-”

“Yes, yes you have the ghost right here, but, you silly girl, do you not see what was happening? Obsession blindness is not something you want to trifle with. These two are fairly new ghosts and do not know how to control themselves properly.” Vlad said sternly.

Instantly Phantom bristled. “You! I swear-”

“Ah- you will do no such thing if you wish to keep yourself in at least some mystery,” Vlad warned.

“You… I knew you…” Maddie said slowly after a moment.

“Why yes you did my dear,” Vlad purred.

Danny’s hands flared and Vlad shook his head “Come now, none of that while ladies are present little badger. You wouldn’t want to have yourself fall to ruin. Go home huntress, I can take these ghosts from here.”

Danny stood protectively in front of his mother. He would not fail to protect her a second time! He’d just gotten her back and he would fight tooth and nail to make sure she stays with him this time.

Vlad’s eyes narrow and flash red as he glares at the brat who dared stand in the way of his beloved.

Valerie looked between the ghosts and Masters a moment before catching his eyes flash. “What?! I knew something was wrong here! All you ghosts are just trying to trick me! Well, I’m smarter than that!” In an instant, she threw her arm up at Vlad and fired.

The blast never hit though, as a pink shield appeared in front of the slimy man.

Maddie instantly bristled seeing it, something in her mind and core sparked dangerously and her golden eyes glossed over. When the ghost, Plasmius, appeared, however, the reaction was instantaneous.

Maddie lunged.

Vlad gaped, both versions of him, as the sheer power of her ecto coated fist shattered the shield. The woman didn’t slow down as she instantly made an ecto constructed bo-staff and whacked Plasmius with it, shattering the concrete on the roof.

“I’ll end you!” Maddie roared bringing her construct down, sparking with electric power, right into where Vlad’s core should have been.

The man had managed to turn intangible at the last second and disappear into the building, leaving Maddie to frantically search and reach out her senses for him.

Valerie tried to launch an attack at Maddie while she was distracted only to be phased away by Danny, who was only a little bit in his right mind at the moment. The last thing he really needed was Valerie getting hurt because of his rising emotions.

The flood of his anger, worry, fear, protectiveness of his family, and love for his mother more particularly at this moment, all flared and swirled. His human half feeding into his ghostly needs and making it stronger.

Danny dumped Valerie in what he believed was a locked room, silently hoping that her need to play hero extended to not causing too much needless property damage, before flying back up to the roof.

All hell had broken loose up there. Maddie had turned into a hell beast with the ferocity that she was attacking Plasmius with. Human Vlad, Danny wasn’t sure which was the real one at this point, stared up at the display with a mix of giddy awe, with a touch of fear and worry.

“Perhaps I miscalculated where her biases lie…” Vlad muttered to himself. “I would have thought for sure she would have come after you as well,” he mentioned flicking his eyes to Danny as he speaks.

“You’re the one who killed her, you frootloop!” Danny growled, tossing an ectoblast at the man, who simply snuffed it out with his own pink glowing hand, while the other tossed something towards the boy.

The spectral cube activated and shocked Danny instantly, trapping him and forcing him back to human form.

Vlad shot the boy a grin of triumph, while the battle raged on overhead. “Now as soon as I can tire her out, I can bring my dear Madoline home, and take her as my bride.

Danny hissed out in frustration only to yelp as a lightning bolt landed near his trapped form. His eyes widen and he can’t suppress the shiver that wracks through his body. He hated lightning, and well any electric thing more than any other type of attacks he’d come across.

It always gave him death flashbacks…

Vlad, the human one, suddenly gasped and gripped his chest in pain as pink ectoplasm rained down around the roof. “You- You” he stopped himself and stared up at Maddie who landed harshly on the roof. Her glow was flickering and she looked tired but looked more than pleased with herself for having defeated the clone.

“Impressive… Though I should have expected no less from you, my dear.” Vlad managed out, trying his best to look poised as always.

Though Maddie ignored him in favour of staring at Danny, “Your… Phantom?” she asked curiously. “Danny Phantom.” She nods in understanding. “So then you’re the halfa I was hearing about”

“Oh thank you, darling! You took care of that nasty ghost who was overshadowing me! I can’t thank you enough!” Vlad poured on the good guy act as he moved to grab Maddie's hand.

In an instant her hand ignited, causing Vlad to yelp and jump back from the ghostly woman. She glared. “You. I don’t like you” she said simply.

Vlad’s face fell. “But why ever not my dear?”

“I don’t remember, I just know I don’t.” Came the clipped answer.

“Danno! I saw your signal blip out so I came to help an- V-Man what are you doin’ here and…” Jack trailed off as his eyes fell upon the full scene. His son was trapped in some kind of ghostly looking box, a ghost that looked suspiciously like his dead wife, and his best friend Vladdie all staring each other down. “M-Mads? Is that… is that really you Mads?”

Vlad sneered and as the Red huntresses hoverboard whirred in his ears he decided it would be best to take the distraction and bow out. As Jack moved to his wife’s ghost Vlad slipped into the stairwell to hide. A second later there was only pink mist where he had once stood.

Maddie turned to the large orange clad man, and something sparked in her. Her eyes seemed to become sharper and more defined and her aura seemed to calm seeing him. “Jack? Your name is Jack, right?”

Valerie had planned on coming out guns blazing hoping to take down the infernal ghosts that had been conspiring against her and her employer. When she rounded the rooftop to find Vlad gone, Phantom gone, Danny trapped, and Jack Fenton, the number one most eccentric ghost hunter HUGGING a ghost… she paused, turned her board to stealth mode, and tried to listen in, hoping to gather some info about this ghost's potential plan.

“You remember me then?” the large man asked hopefully as he practically drowned the ghostly woman in his arms.

“Some things…” She admits. “Not everything. It’s still fuzzy…”

“Some is better than nothing mom… The fact that you remember anything at all is really impressive. Usually, it takes ghosts a while to remember anything from their past life… er right, dad?” Danny asked.

It was still awkward when he talked to his father about ghost related things. There were things that his father had made theories on that were completely off the wall while others were very close to what he’d been taught as fact. But his father was considered one of the top ecto-biologists so whenever he talked like he knew more than his father, even though his father had been nothing but encouraging… it was still awkward.

“Yep! I remember talking to you about that a little while ago, we were talking about looking for your mother possibly in the Zone but she showed up here on her own!” Jack boomed in a boisterous manner he hadn’t used since Maddie’s passing a full month ago. Even the tears in his eyes did little to ruin the overall image of a happy Jack Fenton.

“Can someone get me out of this thing by the way?” Danny asked after a moment of his parents staring at each other.

Jack turned in an instant. “Yea, of course, son! Er, why are you even in that thing Dann-o? And what does it do?” it looks ghostly… kinda. Mads did you attack Danny before you recognized him?”

“No, that wasn’t me. It was the other man... Who’s run off now…” Maddie scrunched up her nose and lifted her lip to bear her fang. “I don’t trust him…”

“V-man? Hey Vladdie! ...huh… guess he didn’t want to get in the way of this reunion?” Jack asked with a slight shrug of nonchalance. He frowned and moved over to the thing trapping his son before finding a toggle switch and turning it off. It shrunk back into a small handheld object almost instant;y.

“Thanks, Dad,” Danny said with a sigh of relief.

“No sweat son! Though it’s an odd looking shield, I’ll have to give it back to Vladdie later.” Jack said with a nod to himself before pocketing the cube.

Danny ignored the large man in favour of moving to hug his mother’s ghost once again. “I really missed you…” He managed out with only one voice crack.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come back sooner… but to think! My boy, a halfa!” she said with a smile holding him tight only for jack to wrap his arms around both of them in a death hug and crush the boy even further.

Hovering just below the roofline as silent as could be Valerie went slack jawed. She mouthed out the word halfa, thinking back to the little half ghost girl she had helped to save. It wasn’t long after that for her to put two and two together.

Phantom had called that ghost mom, Jack Fenton had affectionately called the ghost ‘Mads’ and again, the ghost called Danny, a halfa. Valerie felt betrayed and hurt and… so many other awful things directed towards him right now. But as she peeked out to the roof, and saw the three of them crying in a reuniting hug, she couldn’t bring herself to interrupt.

As much as she hated Phantom, he was still half human, and she knew full well what it was like to lose a mother. She was just never so lucky as to have met her in death… though if her mother came back as a ghost would she have the strength of will to bring her down just like any other ghost? Or would she be dragged into its tricks by its image…

Valerie closed her eyes a moment to think, before shaking her head and deciding it best to just leave. She had a lot of thinking to do…

When the Fenton hug finally broke apart, Maddie's eyes were cleared, she had a slightly greenish tint to the whites of her eyes, but the only golden colour was the iris. Her glow looked stronger than ever, and she wore a loving smile as she assessed the males before her.

“I think… I think I remember our house… I would like to see it for real to be sure… if -- if you wouldn’t mind that is?” Maddie asked, looking to Jack with a hope filled glint in her eye.

“D’aw baby, ya don’t gotta ask. You’re still a Fenton, and Fenton’s stick together no matter what!” Jack answered with a glee filled chuckle

“I’m just glad to have you back mum” Danny sighed out before letting out a large yawn.

Jack shook his head though a fond smile still pulled at his lips. “See this is why I tell you to not go out ghost fighting past midnight… Though given the circumstances I think I’ll hold off on grounding you.”

Danny shook his head and blinked a few times. “Thanks?” He tried, unsure if that was really the appropriate response or not.

“Well, what are we waiting for!? Let's head home and wake up Jazzy pants!” JAck boomed.

A second later an angered resident from the apartment building next to the one they were standing on the roof of, called out a few obscenities at them.

“I think the neighbours agree it’s time we head out.” Maddie chortled out, an echoing musical sound. “I’ll help get us back down.” Maddie hummed out before grabbing an arm of each of the males and phasing them through the side of the roof and onto the street below.

“I remember a large truck?” She tried, looking around the area.

Jack beamed at his wife and nodded eagerly. “Yeah! That’s right hun! The Fenton Ghost Attack Vehicle! GAV for short!”

Thus closed a chapter in Daniel Fenton’s life, but with it came many more problems. Maddie slowly regained some of the memories she’d once held dear, though she still had large gaping holes in what she did remember. It was a slow process, but one that the usually overeager Jack Fenton had no problem being patient with.

For Maddie, she’d found it hard to fit back in with the family, and for the longest time, she was constantly trying to regain some semblance of what was. She didn’t really know who she was supposed to be, or who she once was as a human. Though, once she accepted her changes and realized that she was not any longer the Maddie they remembered, and were not pushing her to be such, she’d come into her own and found healthy ways to feed her obsession.

All in all, it was weird, good but weird. Then again the Fentons were always known as the weird ghost family anyway… What’s one more rumour in the mill?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Complete

Total word count: 6132

#Danny Phantom #Phic Phight 2020 #Prompt fill #jack #maddie #vlad #danny #main character becomes a ghost

17 notes · View notes

hookedonapirate · 4 years

Text

Summary: What happens when the high school principal’s son falls in love with the pastor’s daughter?

Hiding a relationship is hard, especially since Killian’s girlfriend is seventeen and not allowed to date until she’s thirty, it’s even harder to hide her pregnant belly. Can Killian save his relationship with Emma when her parents find out? Some miracles are worth fighting for no matter what. Especially when there’s a little hope involved and a whole lot of love.

Teen Pregnancy AU

Notes: Check out the lovely banner @itsfabianadocarmo made for me here. Thank you so much!

I wasn't going to post this until next week, but I'm so overwhelmed by the feedback and support, I wanted to thank you all by posting this early. There are some things that will go unanswered in this chapter, but I will switch to Emma's POV in the next chapter and cover those things then. The next chapter will also jump ahead a bit so we can move forward with the story.

If you haven't noticed the rating or were wondering about it, this story does include teen smut, including masturbation, so please be prepared for that, or to skip it if you're not comfortable with it. You'll know when it's coming (no pun intended).

Thank you all so much for giving the story a chance and sticking with it so far. I appreciate you more than you know!!!!

Rated: Mature

Catch up: Ch 1 I Ch 2 I Ch 3 I Ch 4

Also available: AO3 l FF.N

Chapter 5

Killian checks his reflection in the mirror for the hundredth time that morning, making sure his hair looks perfect, making sure his tie isn’t crooked. He’s never been to church before so he was worried about being underdressed. The church is casual, but his father always wears a suit and tie, so Killian had done the same.

“Killian, I’m leaving for church!” his father calls from downstairs.

Killian dashes out of his room so fast, he trips over his own feet and almost dives face-first onto the carpet, but catches himself at the door frame and runs downstairs once he recovers his balance. “Wait, I’m coming with you!” he announces as his father heads for the closet and pulls on his leather jacket. He eyes his son suspiciously as Killian reaches the bottom of the staircase, out of breath.

“You’re going to church with me?”

“Aye.” Killian slips his phone into his pocket as he reaches the door, hauling it open. He’s so nervous, he’s sweating under his dress shirt and blazer, so he knows he won’t have to worry about a jacket. “Ruby got the morning off, so she’s meeting me there.”

His father looks perplexed as he follows Killian into the garage and closes the door behind them, his keys jangling as he retrieves them from his pocket. They head toward his silver Bentley, which always makes Killian’s truck look pathetic in comparison. “And you and Ruby still aren’t a couple?”

Killian wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “I don’t see her like that. Ruby’s like a sister to me.” It’s true, Ruby’s always been there for him as a friend, and they have this warped love-hate relationship, but he’s never had romantic feelings for her. Plus, she’s more into girls anyway.

“So the reason you’re suddenly going to church has nothing to do with a certain blonde, who’s the pastor’s daughter, does it? And Ruby isn't tagging along for moral support, is she?”

Killian’s face flushes as he hops into the passenger side. “Nope.”

His father climbs into the driver’s side and starts up the engine. “Uh-huh,” he mutters sarcastically.

The reason Killian’s going to church is that he’s not giving up on Emma, but he’s not about to tell his father that. He had argued with his friends until he was blue in the face, assuring them Emma was clear about her decision, but they made sure he would not give up on Emma. They had eventually convinced him into going to church when all he wanted to do was spend the morning in bed, sulking over her.

~*~

The church is packed when they arrive. There are enough people to make Killian feel crowded and claustrophobic, sweat trickling down his back. Now he remembers one reason why he doesn’t go to church, other than adults wanting to chat with him and ask him questions about school and graduation and the future that he’s already answered fifty times that morning.

The things he’d do for this woman.

Ruby is sitting next to him on his left side, his father on his right, hunched over the woman on his other side, chatting her up with a charming grin. Killian fights off a smirk. Now he knows why his father attends this church without fail. It looks like he has the same idea Killian does. Like father like son.

Killian is busy looking around for Emma in the front row of the large sanctuary when he feels a light nudge in his ribs. “Oi, what was that for?” he whispers, turning his head to scowl at Ruby.

She nods her head toward the stage and Killian follows her gaze to see Mr. Nolan, ceding to the choir as everyone stands from their pews. As a pianist plays in the corner and the choir begins the first hymn, Killian’s eyes are drawn to the gorgeous blonde standing in the front, wearing a wrap-around royal blue dress, her long golden hair cascading around her shoulders.

It’s Emma.

The musical arrangement is boring enough to put him to sleep, but a few minutes into the song, Emma sings solo and her voice fills the sanctuary through the microphone. It’s the most beautiful voice he’s ever heard in his life; she energizes the crowd with her words and her voice, and everyone’s raising their hands in worship and singing along.

He’s completely captivated by her, and he swears for just a second her eyes lock with his and her breath catches in her throat.

The pastor begins droning on again, but Killian is too busy watching Emma to listen to the sermon. She’s busy watching him too, their eyes connecting several times as she sits with the choir on stage.

They sing a few more times before the service ends, and each time Emma rises, Killian is enchanted by her voice and finds himself worshipping God too—something he never thought he’d do. But love is a funny thing. It makes you do things you never dreamt of doing.

Afterward, his father drags him over to the pastor and is forced into an awkward conversation with Mr. Nolan that he’s been dreading all morning as his father’s eyes wander over to the woman he sat next to and watches her leave.

“Killian, you made it. I’m glad you decided to join us,” David says, shaking Killian’s hand.

“Me too,” Mary Margaret chimes, wrapping Killian up in a hug.

Thankfully, David legitimately seems happy to see him and doesn’t mention the conversation they had the other night. In fact, he’s being extremely nice to Killian, which makes him suspicious. But maybe it’s because his wife is there or because Emma hasn’t attempted to go near Killian, and instead has disappeared from the sanctuary. Or maybe it's because they're at church and he wants to remain professional and levelheaded in front of all the churchgoers who look to him for advice and spiritual wisdom.

Brennan and the Nolans are engaged in boring conversation as Killian surreptitiously leaves and joins Ruby outside the sanctuary where people visit with each other while exchanging baked goods and gossip.

“She went upstairs,” Ruby mutters through a mouth full of blueberry muffin. She waves her head toward the staircase. “Go. I’ll be on the lookout for her father.”

Killian whispers a thank you in her ear as he passes.

She grins, licking muffin crumbs from her lips. “You’re welcome.”

Killian casually heads upstairs, drawing no attention as he searches around for Emma. The second floor is empty, so he makes his way toward the ladies’ room, and quietly knocks, hoping she’s in there and that she’s the only one.

When the door opens and Emma pokes her head out, a wave of relief washes over him. Her eyes widen in surprise when she sees him. “Killian, what are you doing?” she whispers. “My father will catch us together.”

“Can I come in, then? I just wanna talk, Emma.” His voice cracks and he swallows thickly, breathing out a shallow, “Please.”

Emma pokes her head out further and looks around to make sure there’s no one else around to see them. “Did anyone see you come up here?”

Killian shakes his head. “No.”

She steps back, opening the door to let him in. He sighs softly as Emma closes and locks it before turning around, crossing her arms. “What do you want, Killian?” she demands, her voice almost low enough to be a whisper.

“I told you, Emma, I want you,” he answers quickly, his eyes locked with hers. “Ever since you walked into my life, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.” He can hear his words giving out under the weight of emotions he feels, but he doesn’t care. He needs to say this. “You're always in my head. My thoughts, my dreams,” he confesses, tearing down those walls of fear that surround him. “When I close my eyes, you’re all I see. When I open them, you’re all I see, even when you’re not really there. When I heard you singing on stage, you sounded so amazing and I know all I’m gonna hear now is your beautiful voice in my head.” I’m in love with you, Emma, he wants to say, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to scare her off, but his heart has clawed its way out of his chest much sooner than he’d preferred. “So, tell me, Emma, how am I supposed to just forget about you and walk away after one conversation with your father?” he asks, taking a step toward her, inhaling a shaky breath, inhaling her sweet, intoxicating perfume. “If you think an idle threat is all it takes to keep me away from you, then you’re wrong. So, I'm asking you again, will you go out with me?”

An insufferable silence fills the restroom, and she’s wide-eyed and speechless, unable to respond. But he needs her to respond. He needs to know what she's thinking. More than he needs oxygen to breathe.

She surges forward and grabs hold of his tie, their lips colliding so forceful, he almost stumbles backward. Instead, he growls and grabs her hips, lunging forward until her back hits the sink. He’s hit with relief and happiness and hope as she kisses the hell out of him without any sign of remorse. He loves how her lips feel against his, so soft and pliant, and wonders what her mouth tastes like. He slides his tongue across the seam of her lips, asking for entrance, and she parts her lips in silent invitation, their tongues frantically finding each other. He groans in her mouth and she eagerly swallows the sound, her hands moving to his face and cupping his cheeks. He slides a hand through her golden locks, itching to feel how soft her hair is, as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. Her hair is so soft and silky and he loves how it feels on his fingertips.

He never wants to stop kissing her; she tastes so sweet and heavenly, like hot cocoa and cinnamon and everything he never knew he wanted or needed until now. He savors her flavor every time their tongues connect, their bodies fusing into one as they move in sync, enchanted by one another. He feels everything you’re supposed to feel when you kiss the right person. He feels sparks and sees fireworks, he feels dizzy, his mind is cloudy, and it feels like he’s enveloped in the finest piece of velvet, floating above the clouds. It feels like the ground has opened up, like the entire world has vanished and all that’s left is them. He’s caressing her cheek gently, affectionately as their tongues twist around one another, tasting and probing. The kiss is fierce, yet so good and pure it awakens a possessiveness he didn’t even know he had in him.

He scoops her up in his arms and lifts her up on the edge of the sink, never breaking the kiss as she spreads her legs for him and he gets comfortable in the cradle of her thighs. Heat surges through him and she helps him shove off his blazer, lest he burst into flames. Once the jacket is off and hits the floor, his arms instantly wrap around her and his chest is pressed to her breasts as she curls her arms around the back of his neck. Everything feels so right and perfect, yet so wrong at the same time.

They finally pull apart, uneven breaths dancing with each other, keeping them connected as she leans her forehead against his, adoration plastered all over her angelic features. “Killian, did you really used to go to church?” she asks in a shattered whisper.

His lips twist into a smirk as he nuzzles her nose with his. “Never stepped foot into a church until today,” he answers, his words completely wrecked as his thumb strokes her cheek. “How did you guess?”

Emma manages a strangled laugh. “You’re not a very good liar. And neither am I.” Her features grow serious as she licks her lips. “This will not end well for us, you know that right? My mother always says lying is useless, the truth always comes out. But that might be because she's incapable of keeping a secret,” she adds playfully.

He shrugs rather weakly, his entire body feeling the aftermath of their kiss. Once her tongue had connected with his, once he had a taste of her, all bets were off. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take. If you’ll take it with me?”

Emma nods, a smile creeping over her lips. “Yes. And yes, I'll go out with you… if my answer wasn’t obvious when I kissed you.”

Killian chuckles. “I figured as much.” He captures her lips again and kisses her deeply, his tongue plunging into her mouth, hands roaming her back, pressing her closer to him. A moan slips past her lips when his groin rubs against her panties, and he almost loses himself. Her moan is the most exquisite thing he’s ever heard, her body is the most lovely thing he’s ever held in his arms and her mouth is the most heavenly thing he’s ever tasted. He has to slow down and take deep breaths as they kiss. He has to control himself around her; he doesn’t want to fuck this up. So he just kisses her slowly. He kisses her until their lips are numb and swollen, until there’s no air left in their lungs, or rather until there’s a knock on the door, pulling them back down to reality.

“Crap,” she whispers as they reluctantly break apart.

He helps her down from the sink and they frantically work to straighten their hair and clothing, but when he glances at Emma, her face is all flushed and her lips are rosy red and swollen. Whoever’s on the other side of the door will know they’ve been making out.

“Guys, I know you’re in there. It’s just me.” The sound of Ruby’s voice through the door makes them sigh in relief.

Emma straightens her hair some more as she sluggishly walks to the door and cautiously pulls it open. Killian hides behind her, looking over her shoulder.

Ruby smirks when she sees the two of them, both completely wrecked and disheveled, before her eyes fall back to Emma. “I just wanted to let you know that your Dad’s looking for you. I told him you went to the restroom, but that was ten minutes ago.” She looks at Killian. “And I told your father you got bored, so you went for a walk.”

“Thanks, Rubes,” he says with an appreciative smile.

“No problem.” She grins from ear to ear, glancing between them. “So I take it you two made up?”

They both smile and blush, answering her question before they even say anything. Killian wraps his hand around Emma’s hip and kisses her cheek. “Is it that obvious?”

“As obvious as that ridiculous grin on your face,” she teases. She’s not helping with the blush in his cheeks. “Come on, Em, you should go downstairs before your dad comes up here searching for you.”

“Okay, we’ll be out in a minute,” Emma says.

“Okay, I’ll keep watch.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” Ruby says with a wink.

As Emma closes and locks the door, Killian looks down at himself and realizes he can’t leave just yet. “Emma, you should go first. I need a few minutes to… regroup.”

“After that kiss, I need some time to regroup too,” she laughs.

He clears his throat and scratches behind his ear. “Aye, but for me, it’s a little more obvious.”

She turns around and lifts a brow, eyeing him in confusion. “What do you mean? You look fine,” she reassures him, lifting her hands to straighten his tie. The way her warm breath fans his skin as she adjusts his tie and runs her hand down his chest does not help his situation in the least. She doesn’t understand what he means though, and he doesn’t know how to explain himself without being blunt.

“I have a hard-on, love,” he blurts out and watches as her eyes widen, her mouth parting slightly.

She peers down between them and sees the prominent bulge poking against his slacks, trying to break free. “Oh,” she replies, her voice unusually high-pitched as she lifts her eyes. She shakes her head and removes her hands from his chest. She blushes in embarrassment from not being able to figure out what he’d meant. “Of course. Sorry… I’ll just… I’ll leave.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry.” He flashes a bashful smile. “I got a little too excited while we were kissing.”

The smirk she offers him is so adorable, he wants to kiss her again, but he knows she has to go so they don’t get caught together. “I noticed, I guess I didn’t realize how excited you were,” she laughs.

“It’s okay,” he chuckles, lifting a hand to stroke her cheek. “Can I see you tomorrow before school?”

Emma nods and kisses him chastely on the lips. “Yeah, I’ll think of an excuse to leave early,” she says before pulling away.

He doesn’t want to let her go, and he feels the loss once she’s no longer in his reach. “Okay, I’ll text you when I get there and wait for you in the parking lot.”

“Okay. Bye, Killian.” She smiles back at him as she opens the door.

“Bye, love.”

She closes the door behind her and Killian turns around leaning against it, taking shallow breaths. His heart is pounding and he’s still unbearably hard. He tries to think of other things, like baseball and airplanes and how Emma’s father might murder him if he finds out Killian was making out with his daughter in the church restroom. But he can’t get Emma out of his head. The way she tastes, the way she felt in his arms, the softness of her lips. The softness of her touch. He’s completely enraptured by her and his lips still tingle from their kiss.

He looks down and curses himself. He’s still hard.

He turns around and locks the door before undoing his pants, knowing he won’t be able to settle down without taking matters into his own hands. He reaches into his pants and drags out his erection, taking himself in his hand, desire pounding through his veins. He feels instant relief as he pulls at the skin and strokes himself up and down, a groan tumbling from his lips as he tips his head back against the door and closes his eyes. This isn’t the first time he’s touched himself thinking of Emma. The first day he met her he had to relieve the tension he felt from that day. At least then he'd waited until he was in bed that night. He’s jerked himself off before, he’s a horny seventeen-year-old virgin, but he’s never jerked himself off while having an object of his desire to help push him over the edge. Tightening his grip, he swipes his thumb over the stickiness gathering at his tip.

He imagines being with Emma, flesh against flesh, bodies writhing and thrusting as they make love, her legs wrapped around him, their hands linked, fingers entwined. When he pictures Emma in his mind as they both give themselves to each other, he imagines her long golden hair spread around her, vivid green eyes twinkling in the darkness as her mouth falls open in pleasure. But not all of his thoughts about her are dirty. He sees beauty and light and intelligence when he thinks of her, he sees perfection in her smile and the kind of person she is. He sees a woman he wants to get to know and spend the rest of his life with; he sees someone he wants to give the world to.

“Emma,” he murmurs softly as the pleasure builds. He’s biting his bottom lip and increasing the speed of his hand, wondering what she’d feel like around him, wondering how tight and warm she’d feel. His heart is pounding and heat is swirling through him so fast it makes him dizzy.

After that mindblowing kiss, it doesn’t take long for him to reach his peak, and when he feels the familiar sensations and heat pulsating through him, he makes a dash for the sink and points the velvety tip away from him. He strokes himself fiercely, until pure bliss consumes him, until his muscles convulse, guttural groans crawling from his throat, until thick, warm cum is spurting out onto his hand and into the sink. He pumps out a few more streams of the white stickiness into the drain, his breaths labored as he tries to gather his wits. By the time he empties every ounce of release, his entire body is spent, his legs like rubber as he slumps and grips onto the sink for balance. He lets his eyes fall shut for a few minutes, lets his mind clear of fog.

When he’s able to find some sort of semblance and move his muscles again, he opens his eyes, retrieves some paper towels from the small wicker basket on the counter and cleans himself up.

“Fuck,” he whispers, his voice hoarse, his body still trembling from his orgasm.

He tosses the paper towel in the trashcan and tucks himself back into his pants before washing his hands. He splashes his face with some cool water, dries his hands and grabs his blazer from the floor, trying to process what he’s done before he leaves the restroom and has to explain to Ruby why he’s been in here by himself for so long.

He just jerked off in a church restroom thinking about the pastor’s daughter. The pastor’s daughter . Who he’s supposed to stay away from, and yet she’s the only reason why he showed up to church in the first place.

He’s so going to hell for this.

Tagging some people who have either shown interest or asked to be tagged.

@teamhook @onceuponaprincessworld @itsfabianadocarmo @followbatb @natzombeez@resident-of-storybrooke @kmomof4 @artistic-writer @ilovemesomekillianjones @jamif @darkcolinodonorgasm @nikkiemms @carpedzem @ashley-knightingale @tiganasummertree @ultraluckycatnd @its-about-bloody-time-cs @maquita @mariakov81 @bugheadswanjones @searchingwardrobes @andiirivera @melly326 @squidvisious @snow-into-ash @snowbellewells @kingofmyheart14 @biefaless @superchocovian @willow154

I’m probably missing some people, so let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged.

#cs ff #captain swan #cs ff au #highschool au #set my soul on fire #smut #my fic

50 notes · View notes

everydaychurch · 5 years

Text

Beauty from Ashes (Part 2) by Warren. Read pt 1 first

Before I left Detroit the Lord spoke something to me. I was sitting in my pick-up truck waiting to go into my soon to be ending job (Yes God does have a way of speaking to us in ways only we can understand). As I was offering my prayers to start my work day I heard, in the depths my heart “Warren, I will restore to you the woman of your youth”. Honestly I was disappointed. I wanted my marriage back. I know now that wasn’t going to happen. I also wondered who this girl could possibly be and questioned if I was just hearing voices. Maybe I was crazy. So after I came home to Seattle, back now for months, with those disastrous dating attempts that resulted in my swearing off dating behind me, I get a text from an old high school girlfriend I friended on Facebook. We talk on online for several months. Since later she had a trip coming up to Seattle from Spokane on vacation I agreed to meet her for coffee. I had sworn off dating and had no intention of a relationship with anyone. Starting any romance other than being friendly was off limits at this point. I had been spending most of my time working on myself and focusing on my relationship with God. A good friend was also walking with me as a helpful counselor and support partner.

As I walked to the meeting place agreed upon (Starbucks) I wasn't the least bit nervous to see my old high school girlfriend Julie. My main goal was to hopefully apologize for being such a bad high school boyfriend. Then out of nowhere the same voice from the year before saying the woman of my youth would be restored to me spoke again. As I walked up to the her table, still maybe 40 feet away, the voice spoke to me again asking “Can you be married to Julie the rest of your life?”.

I was a little freaked out.

However, the presence of God was with us as we caught up on life and we could sense it. The next few days were wonderful as we met again the following Sunday.

Did I mention that when God asked me that question while approaching Julie at Starbucks my first reaction without hesitation was “yes”?

It was obvious. We dated for a year (300 miles away from each other). We have been married for 4 years. God did promise to renew. Not the way I expected of course but I know everyday of my life Julie is a direct gift from God. He had a plan before I did ( I didn’t have a plan) Julie is by no means my salvation but reuniting with Julie further helped change my perspective on how I see God. This was supernatural as far as I was concerned. Julie is a widow. I don’t think she ever anticipated marriage again so late in life either but I know God is renewing her too and changing her view on the nature and goodness of God as well.

I have been blessed through work as well. I have gone from $17 an hour to a financial figure I could never remotely anticipated. I have been able to take good care of Julie.She has health concerns and does not work. I can pay the bills and have a nice home and car. I am certainly grateful at that alone; BUT God was not done yet.

I was able to share 2 years with my step-daughter Ellie. She is in college now and back in Spokane. I think I did a pretty good job helping Ellie get ready for adult life. I didn’t have to do much. She is very mature and has a strong faith in Jesus. I can honestly say I love her. I am still not, nor was I perfect, but I like to think I didn’t screw it up and am a positive influence. I have incredible in-laws as well. I love them and they love me too. That is such a gift.

I also have a much better relationship with my kids and grand kids. Ministry and church life were rough on them and I didn’t do a very good job of protecting them from the time obligations my position supposedly required. I failed to nurture. I wasn’t giving to them with the attention they needed and deserved. There seems to be a running story of “PK’s” or Pastor’s Kids in culture today as if its a funny joke that the pastor’s children are the trouble makers or the ones that grow up to be the most anti-church or anti-god humans. There is truth in that, but its not humorous. Its a tragedy. You can pass blame on church culture for this, but the reality is that it has nothing to do with church culture. The buck stops with the dad. I was ultimately responsible.

I would like to believe I am a much better dad today because of what I have been through and that my deeper, more accurate view of God has taught me how to love them and treat them with the dignity they deserve and as the wonderful adults they are. If I knew then what I know now I don’t think I would have let my church position take priority. Insecurity, fear, and a mentality of works may have possibly ruined the ability of my children to understand the truth of God. My prayers are always for them to feel loved and know love from God and for them to truly know Him. Only God can do this and I know God can do this.

My daughters are so precious to me. Not a possession, but unique individuals who have their own purposes, talents, strengths and weaknesses, They are all smart, artistic, passionate for justice, good moms, and hard workers.

Another big surprise of God’s restoration is what happened in November of 2017. We had moved a few miles away from my old church where I was once on staff and where Julie and I lived across the street previously when we were newlyweds. Julie, Ellie, and myself were looking for and trying churches in our new city. Nothing was sticking. Nothing felt right.

I believe when you find the right church you know it. It will be clear and peaceful. Let me backtrack the story a bit. When I first came home to Seattle in 2013 I ran into my former Senior Pastor’s wife Mary in Safeway. I explained to her how I was divorced now. I used to feel I had to explain this whenever I ran into anyone who knew me before when married the first time. That’s a story in its own right. I rarely even think about having to justify this to anyone anymore. Mary was full of Grace and urged me to come talk with her husband. I thought. “No way is that going to happen”. It didn’t end the way I would have preferred while on staff at this church. Many of the challenges I faced in my role there were magnified by my lack of maturity and my misunderstanding of the true heart of God. My faith neurosis blemished the good things that were accomplished under my ministry . Like a house on fire I surely never wanted to enter that building again, especially after a divorce from a spouse who was once also on staff there. I am sure my pride had a lot to do with that. Pride fueled by shame.

God can be funny sometimes. He does the unexpected.

Jump back ahead 2 years as Julie, Ellie, and I are church surfing with no success. A persistent voice starts speaking to my heart saying “go talk to Steve” (the pastor). I hear this over, and over, and over again. It doesn’t stop until I set up the eventual appointment. I had a boss once who had a motto when ever there was silence between two people that went like this “Just have a conversation” We were going to have a conversation. I had no clue what the result would be.

Gracefully in the two hour meeting that followed with Steve, Mary, Julie, and I an amazing occurrence of healing took place. Love broke out. We were invited to come back. To be restored. To be protected. We began attending Northwest Church right away and still attend to this day. I am part of the Worship Counsel, teach guitar, and play guitar on the worship team. I never thought in a million years something like this would ever happen. 13 years had passed since I was a staff member there. It was like a son returning home to his family after a long journey. Steve is retired now and change is in process but I am excited for what the future holds. More opportunities and restoration continues that quite frankly blows my mind.

I was unexpectedly asked to be a part of a team that traveled in May 2019 to Nashville to serve in music worship for the Chaplains portion of the Foursquare Church’s National Convention. Wow. I didn’t plot, plan, or ask for any of that but the door opened. Julie went with me. More evidence of the wonderful nature of Jesus in action. Quite a contrast of my former false beliefs.God was pouring out His love beyond expectations and I knew it.

I had been to National conventions in many years past. I always felt so inadequate when I did. I recall feeling that if people really knew me they would certainly challenge my attendance. So I would play the pride game. Espouse my position of course since I served at a large church. This was my off-based, ugly attempt to justify myself. This gathering was certainly different. I just felt blessed for the opportunity and gave what I had to offer. It was very freeing. No stress at all. A National Convention doesn't justify your position with God, Jesus justifies your position with God.

God has certainly proven over and over again, through all the difficulty I have endured who He is. How He loves people. How He loves me. When that light bulb finally went on for me my perspective on everything changed. How I view God now changed how I see myself and how I see the rest of the world around me. I no longer wrestle with the mind games of “if” God loves me or not. I am secure in knowing that He does love me deeply and its much easier to respond to His love when that is etched on your heart.

I am not suggesting a different gospel than what the bible clearly teaches. We are still sinners saved by grace. Jesus is our savior and Lord and He is the only way to reconciliation. We must acknowledge our sin and need for redemption. We must know Him and know that He laid down His life on the cross for our sin. His words are clearly written; “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” John 14;6.

However let me end with this; He is a relational God. Slow to anger and full of grace. He wants all to know Him and follow Him. He wants to be the honored centerpiece in all our lives. He knows all our issues. He is patient. He sees you right where you are. He knows how to untangle false assumptions of who, and how He is. He wants us to love others in the same way; but we have to walk out our lives with Him to the fullest so we can do that. To love others as naturally as breathing.

The Gift of Jesus Christ is above all the entanglements, sin, and struggles we have gotten ourselves into. He is our hope, our joy, our healer, our restorer, and our re-newer and so much more

Peace

0 notes