#also if u read this and have anything rude to say abt my mental illness ill fight u too

[thedisablednaturalist]

so sorry ppl that cant read are sending you messages about those posts but i get it completely. rheumatologists and osteos and NP's want to hear more abt my decade old severe anxiety and depression and adhd and ~more~ diagnoses than chronic debilitating pain and just slap vitamin D pills on it and throw up their hands because "test results are weird idk what to tell u even tho i said it was this two weeks ago". abled friends and coworkers can have conversations about their mental health struggles but its looked at self pityingly if i bring up how my life is irreparably damaged by my physical disability because disabled people have to be strong and resilient to earn a place in their field and if you cant cut it just get on those snazzy disability benefits and let it get worse. i think a lot of abled ND people just cant accept that they do not experience the worst of life's struggles and that solidarity doesnt make us the same

I try to be understanding and answer peoples questions politely when I have the spoons and if they are genuinely confused bc I used to be ignorant as well about a lot of aspects of physical disability but it gets so tiring. Nowadays there are a ton of resources from physically disabled people talking about their experiences its actually quite easy to educate yourself on our struggles. Like sorry I get a little frustrated and rude when I'm constantly bombarded by ableism and rude ass people.

Also yeah that's exactly what I've been trying to say. Doctors can usually relate to people having mental health struggles and even some aspects of neurodivergencey. But they cannot understand someone looking completely fine and not being able to detect anything but complaining of horrible pain and constant tiredness outside of the lense of mental health. And if your mental health is managed or only suffering because you are in constant pain, they say you're faking, or OBVIOUSLY you just need to lose weight, or drink more water, or exercise more than any able bodied person does. People take one look at me and think the solution is obvious and I'm just too stupid or lazy to figure it out.

And me saying this isn't saying that mental illness is super easy to deal with. Its fucking awful as well and many doctors say this shit to neurodivergents as well. And this is especially true for poc and people with psychosis or bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.

I went to my first therapist in my sophomore year of highschool and got medicated that same year. I started investigating my health issues in college freshman year and have JUST gotten actual results from treatment. SIX fucking years later. SIX fucking years of CONSTANT PAIN. And I have great insurance and a great dad who just wants me to feel better (my mom is a different story). My parents are sort of upper middle class and I live in a very privileged area. Of course that means I can't afford to move out even with an ok salary, but at least there are plenty of doctors around to choose from and plenty of appointments available. I can't imagine how long it takes someone without those advantages. And even still I had to fight to be listened to, I had to listen to so much bs from doctors and had to go from doctor to doctor begging for someone to listen.

Like they really don't get how unbelievably hard it is to get care for physical disabilities, visible and invisible. If you're visibly disabled you get treated like a child and a monster and you're isolated from society. If you're invisibly disabled you get laughed at by doctors and ignored. If it's hard for you guys imagine that difficulty increased by 100%.

I try to be really visible when I'm working in a position I know has my back. I really try to educate young people and children on what my disability looks like and I hope disabled kids and kids who eventually become disabled can see me and know that their lives are valuable and they are valuable. And it is possible to find joy in your life and reasons to keep living. And employers shouldn't be able to throw away our resumes and pay us less just cause we may need a little extra help. I know what everyone thinks when they see me in my wheelchair and using my walking sticks and when I tell them I need to take a break as I'm running out of spoons. I know their first thought is what the hell am I doing here if I'm in so much pain? When people see me by myself in my wheelchair they think I must have gotten lost and separated from my abled handler. I love my job, I love what I do, and I want to be able to keep doing it. But I can't work as long as an abled person, I can't do it without accommodations. Hell abled people shouldn't be working as long as they do either. I wish to live a life where I'm free to do the work I love without killing myself and still be able to live a comfortable life. Every disabled person, working or not, deserves to live a comfortable life.

#chronic disability #chronic pain #physical disability #cripplepunk #spoonie #disability #working while disabled #sorry this is all kinda jumbled and longn #as you all know i write long posts #wrenfea.ask

[cutemeat]

no you’re so right for that, op was honestly being rude and probably didn’t expect you to see it (altho i see that they did tag it as sunny so maybe they just don’t care). when i started out, the ppl of this fandom have always been so unapologetically vocal abt their theories and interpretations, and it was so welcoming to me to see that everyone was having fun rambling into the void, knowing that we care enough abt each others’ ideas that even if we don’t always agree, we Get it. like that’s what sunnblr is for, pardon the brainrot but it comes with the territory. you were one of my first (and also only lol) sunny mutuals and i know for a fact i didn’t used to share my thoughts the way i do now before following ppl like you. PLEASE keep rambling, it is good for the soul

thank u Danny!! 🐀💘

it means a lot more to me that I have had that kind of impact where anyone feels more unapologetic n enthusiastic abt talking abt their interests n interpretations n theories! cuz I care so deeply abt that n think (esp cuz this is a space all about enthusiasm n hobbies) it is so fun to hav a place where ppl can do that!! (obv we should be mindful depending on subject matter, but just general rambling abt shit is, as u said, good for the soul 😌😌) U are also just such a creative person n i rlly admire yr style n yr skill u are just so thoughtful and intelligent so u Should be so loud n proud abt those things!! u are such a treasure n ily!!

I hold no grudge against op, cuz i do recognize this kind of thing is just apart of a larger pattern I’ve seen forever since using the internet where a lot of the internet likes to preach abt de-stigmatization n mental health awareness… but unfortunately the internet doesn’t rlly create platforms that are conducive to actually keeping that kind of thing in mind and practicing it effectively. ik that most times (since this is a problem that started in the real world n sure as hell hasnt been solved any better lmao), that unless you are just experiencing palatable symptoms like depression or anxiety… u are opening yrself up to that kind of thing, n i know that just comes with the territory of being mentally ill and havin any public account. im sure its even somewhere in the fine print of the terms n conditions that no one ever reads LOL. i try to brush it off, but it is still hurtful sometimes and so that’s why I left that reply to just explain where i’m coming from and why i left those tags in the first place. cuz again they dont know me and idk them so its not anything personal! but again ik thats sorta the game u play when u post anything yknow? like for all anonymity’s benefits, there are cons like ppl don’t Know i experience manic type symptoms or fixate excessively if they dont know me or follow me, esp when i don’t leave that stuff in my bio anymore or always post abt it so they Don’t Know. and it’s just generally very prevalent to see someone saying Wild Shit n immediately be like ‘wtf?’ n post it without rlly giving it much thought. I mean, I’ve probably done that before myself w/o rlly giving a second thought to what I was doing 😭. so I try not to take it too personally n hope ppl will be sympathetic if they do see the other person’s side of things, at least!

But again I do rlly appreciate u sending this cuz it was still very reassuring and again im rlly happy u feel more inclined to share ur thoughts after following me cuz again u are so thoughtful n passionate n i still love reading ur posts n seeing ur art abt anything u are interested in even when its not Sunny stuff, theres always so much detail in everything u do its incredible! 💖 and dont worry abt me cuz i def dont plan on stopping the rambling myself anytime soon BSJDBDJ

[inlove-core]

full offense but im gonna fist fight my ocd

#angelic.txt #im gonna rant in the tags abt it #i have different kinds of ocd but the one thats being a botch rn is my relationship ocd #and i have BOTH kinds of the shit w it too so my braisn fucking me over #i know and have never been more sure of anything that i love my bpufriend and he loves me and hes amazing #but for the last week or so my every waking thought is doubts about him and us #and just. generally feeling trapped jnstead of happy? like normal? and i know thats whats causing it but it wont go away #i just want it to leave me alone #id been doing so well abt it #but now i feel like trash abt it and i feel bad for having these thoughts but i cant help it #and the more thoughts i have the more im like oh so i dont rlly love him #but i do!!! #also if u read this and have anything rude to say abt my mental illness ill fight u too #or abt my relationship? just from this #bc i am v happy i just have obsessive thoughts and i cant control them

[mrlovermanswhore]

hey man, read your comment on that tiktok a bit back& i just wanted to say that, ultimately, you can’t police other people’s actions, and it’ll make your time on the internet a lot better when you start to figure tht out. i don’t mean this in a rude way it’s just! i did a lot of the same stuff u did when i was younger (ie ‘calling out’ people’s bad behavior) and everything’s just..a lot less stressful once you realize that the only person who’s actions u can control are ur own. if somethings bothering u, it’s way more helpful to just block em and move on. there’s always gonna be people out there who don’t fit up to ur standards/the way you view the world. you’re setting yourself up for failure if you expect everyone around u to conform to ur own social ideals (and tht goes for anything, even if u think it’s super bad like!! person X/Y/Z isn’t gonna care yknow?) ahh but w/e i’m just some rando on the internet lol sorry for stepping on my soapbox, if this advice is worthless to u then fair enough man!! hope u have a good day/night :-)

Before I start actually answering this question, I just want to say im not mad at anon, and i know theyre saying this from a genuine place. And i really appreciate their concern. I just get these comments alot with both real life and also online, and im just tired of repeatedly answering the same thing. Okay, onto the actual 'answer'

(Also, the following paragraph fonts are rotating from regular to bold, to regular, to bold and italicized, to regular again)

I get what ur saying, and usually i do just block them and move on, but a majority of the time im reblogging from people i follow/am mutuals with who just arent aware because they dont have tiktok (so how would they possibly know).

And they arent the ones *making* the content im referring to, so like why would i block everyone on tumblr instead of informing them (and best scenario they listen, worst scenario, ill end up blocking them too). And i dont expect everyone to just like blindy follow me, but if i have a platform where *some* people will listen to me, im gonna talk.

Im not trying to police anyone, I enjoy having discussions abt this kind of stuff. The things i say are meant for the people i know want to listen. I dont really care about anyone else. If anyone thinks what im saying is abusrd, the block button is always available.

And i dont expect anyone to conform to my expectations. People are human. My goal is to just inform them.

The point of me reblogging with 'calling ppl out' is just to give added perspective and information to all of my followers/mutuals. Like im aware it wont be life changing.

Spreading awareness is something i enjoy doing, and if im not feeling mentally/physically prepared then i wont force myself to talk about those kinds of topics, i will always aim to put my health at the moment over writing 'call out' posts :)

#feel free to send more anon asks :) #thank you for coming to my ted talk #this is prolly gonna be one of my pinned posts #pinned post #anon #anon asks

[daveisverydeactivated]

man okay so reading callout posts is so fucking difficult i saw one abt s/ix/pen/ce/ee and i read through,,,, most of it? but it was all links which turns out to be a lil taxing on my brain and stuff, idek why. and then, a lot of it was good points and stuff ppl shouldnt do, like steal stuff or defend bad stuff. but some of it was just, tiny little things? small slipups, things like that. being perfect is a nice concept, but everyone accidentally says something is "crazy" or something on occasion. a while back, i accidentally offended ha/rv/ey/ch/an (i think thats the right url idk ill go check) by reblogging a jo/hn/da/ve post they made and saying something along the lines of "this isnt my otp (ja/da/ve) but its rlly cute!!" turns out, that was rude. this was in like, spring 2015, alright? i was like, 11. (yes, a rare mention of my age. this is how u kno im serious as i make this post.) i was new to the homestuck fandom, and also slowly realizing that i was pan and somehow managing to both accept and shy away from anything remotely-un-heterosexual, because thats what being split between a loving accepting family and a cruel, unaccepting society through all of your formative years does, besides make u need therapy. anyways, i made this comment, and then harvey replied to me in some way. i dont honestly remember if it was by reblogging the copy of the post with my comment on it or by sending me an ask or what, but i cried. (that was around the same time that i realized i definitely had depression, by the way, cuz this somehow made me suicidal. harvey, if yr reading this, i 100% do not blame u for any of my mental issues, i mostly blame my childhood trauma, and im fully aware of the fact that u (almost definitely? i mean i actually dunno) didnt rlly mean me any harm. i hope.) anyways, i cried a fuckin lot. i deleted my reblog of the post and sent harvey an ask basically begging for forgiveness, cuz, okay, again, i was 11 and had never pissed somebody on the internet off before and honestly kinda scared for my wellbeing because id heard horror stories abt ppl being like, physically hunted down for huge mistakes like the one i thought id made. i have anxiety issues, in case u havent noticed. bad ones. but anyways, they said it was okay, if i remember correctly. i actually dont remember at all. im just really hoping they said it was okay because i prefer to give people benefit of the doubt. they vagueposted abt me around that time, ranting abt how "if it isnt ja/da/ve it shouldnt matter" or something like that. ig they were the first person to vagueblog abt me, so thats pretty cool. i guess. and that experience has stuck with me for these two fucking years. slightly more than two years, actually. im still following them out of guilt. i havent looked at their blog in like, forever, but sometimes a post they reblogged floats across my dash and i get hit with a fresh wave of guilt. i actually think this is why i have such bad associations with johndave. well shit. i just realized that. but basically, a few months later, i saw a post of theirs that stated, among some other stuff that i dont remember, that they had bad associations with da/ve/ja/de (or something). i already felt guilty, mind u, as i feel guilty every time i make someone feel unhappy, unless i rlly hate them, but that made me feel even more guilty, since u never kno whatll make ppl feel bad. anyways, if a callout post was made abt me, and it included something that small, id probably end up pretty screwed up. if someone called me out for constantly vagueblogging abt my ex, thatd b different. i mean, she vagueblogs abt me, too, but if somebody told me to stop because i was making them uncomfy, i would stop. and btw, if smthn i do makes u uncomfy, please speak up! anyways, i just dont think including such tiny little things in callout posts is a good idea. i mean, it makes u look a little desperate and unfounded, and it makes the person yr tryna call out feel like everyones out to get them (or it makes them feel like yr completely unfounded and just lookin for drama, prolly). basically, b careful with yr callout posts, alright?

#idk man im a lil messed up but this was also kind of a formative experience and i feel like it could actually mess some ppl up for the worse #idk man #me bein ew