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lucvly · 3 months

Note

i saw in ur matt bf headcanons thag he would love reader sitting on his lap so can u like make a story where they’re wit their friends or smth n the reader’s sitting on matt’s lap n she feels him get hard n like whispers “i hope what im feeling is ur keys” THEN LATER ON HE TAKES HER TO HIS ROOM N THEY FUCK! ☺️☺️ i hope that’s not confusing or anything

BLUE JEANS. ( matt sturniolo )

warnings › smut, exhibitionism if you squint, dirty talk, praise, slight consumption of alcohol, dom!matt (i’m a switch!matt truther guys please.)

author’s note › wrote this while listening to ldr 🤒 keep the reqs coming i have way too many but fuck it we ball !! also smut is definitely not my forte, bear with me.

› as much as you loved small get togethers with your closest friends, you weren’t sure your boyfriend and his brothers hosting one in their house was the smartest idea. you were wary of how the night would go, taking into consideration the fact that last time they hosted one of these get togethers nick and larray ended up playing beer pong on the kitchen counter, nearing a wasted state. but you still decided to attend and accompany your boyfriend, and you loved any occasion to dress up and spend time with your closest friends, so technically it was a win win situation for both of you.

showing up at their house, your doubts and wariness got pushed to the back of your head completely. your thoughts now shifting, wanting nothing more than to have a good time, some good conversations and spend time with your boyfriend and the presence of your closest friends.

“you look amazing.” you heard a voice that you could recognize anywhere as the door swung open carefully. “i’m sorry i couldn’t pick you up, princess. i had to help nick and chris put this whole thing together.”

as soon as he opened the door, a soft smile crept up onto your lips, analyzing his figure discreetly before even stepping a foot inside. he was the slightest bit sweaty, his hair messy, a lopsided smile plastered on his face as he gazed into your eyes, stepping closer to you, placing a greeting kiss on your lips as he took a hold of your waist with one hand, guiding you into the house, the other hand managing to softly close the door behind the two of you as you stepped in.

“that’s okay, you owe me though.” you teased, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, watching the smile on his face widen ever so slightly.

“fair enough.” he shrugged jokingly, a chuckle escaping his lips as he kept his arm wrapped around your waist, continuing to guide you inside.

the music was at a prudent volume, loud enough to not be able to hear anyone else’s conversations, but not soft enough as to where it became boring.

your friends were mostly all scattered across the living room, beanbags and couches filled with all your closest friends having closed conversations, laughing with red solo cups in their hands.

your boyfriend guided you towards the living room, settling one of the beanbags– and it was a given that you were sitting on his lap, his hands snaking to the sides of your waist, though one of them slid up to your stomach, rubbing up and down slightly as a gesture of comfort.

you struck up a conversation with nick who was sitting right next to you on the floor, he was telling you something about how he thought you and matt should get a room, and how he loved the skirt you were wearing today.

2:03 AM.

by the time the clock hit two in the morning, drowsiness started kicking in, though you were all in the middle of a very interesting game of truth or dare. currently madi was gasping at the names of every single one of nick’s exes, nick letting out possibly the loudest laugh.

you took the opportunity of this small break in the game to get a bit more comfortable on your boyfriend’s lap, considering you were starting to get a bit sleepy. you definitely underestimated how tricky getting comfortable in a beanbag would be, especially on your boyfriend’s lap. however, you started to shift your lower body, attempting to find a more comfortable position.

the hand that was on your waist tightened its grip ever so slightly, and the hand that was rubbing your stomach abruptly stopped its movements, a very faint noise coming out of matt’s mouth.

you were sure you were mistaken, probably the effect of the sleepiness that was starting to take over your body as you squirmed on his lap again, this time, hearing a low whisper, yet clear “fuck,” as matt attempted to play it off by clearing his throat.

you were still oblivious as to what was going through your boyfriend’s mind in that very moment, and you shifted your hips once more, finally finding a comfortable position on his lap, laying your head back on his shoulder for a bit more comfort.

this was all before you heard what you could definitely assure was a low groan from matt, followed up by both his hands resting at the sides of your hips now, gripping a bit tighter than usual. you started to feel something poking your thigh.

oh.

you slightly moved your head closer to his ear, lips close enough to softly whisper, “i hope what i’m feeling is your keys.” you spoke as you raised your eyebrows and laid your head back on his shoulder again.

“can’t help it when you’re moving like that.” he whispered back, forcing a soft laugh at some comment chris had made regarding one of the questions.

before you could even answer, your conversation was interrupted by madi, who, with a wide smile on her face, asked, “y/n, truth or dare.”

you thought for a second, though you had already mentally answered, because there was no way you were getting up when your boyfriend was gripping your hips like you’d run away at any second, and his boner was poking your inner thigh.

you teasingly sat up on matt’s lap before answering, forcing you to move your lower body again, which elicited a soft moan from him which he managed to play off as a cough. “hmm, truth.” you finally answered with a small smile, looking down at madi who was sitting right next to nick.

“hm, oh–” she paused before nick leaned over and whispered something to her followed by a fit of giggles from both of them. “where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?”

your boyfriend leaned his head back and loudly groaned. you could tell he was trying his best to continue playing, but the raging boner and this conversation was definitely not helping his case.

you gasped in disbelief and shifted once again to turn to look at him, causing him to let out a choked grunt he quickly covered up by clearing his throat.

“you told nick about that?!” you exclaimed, your tone filled with disbelief as your mouth was still open, in a gasping expression.

“nick, i swear to god.” your boyfriend answered, his tone being full of annoyance. he wanted nothing more but to leave, but to his dismay, he was hosting– and it would be rude to leave the guests unattended.

“do i even wanna know?” madi’s face contorted in disgust, shaking her head as nick patted her back im faux comfort.

“you don’t. trust me.” nick answered plainly, and madi required no further explanation to know that she probably shouldn’t have asked that question.

“whatever. i’m tired, i’m going to bed.” matt spoke, mainly to the rest of your friends who were still seated or laying down on the floor filled with pillows and blankets for more comfort.

“y/n, you staying?” chris asked, slightly raising his eyebrows in amusement at matt’s quick change of attitude.

“i’ll go with him, someone’s gotta take care of him.” you joked, knowing that this was definitely about to get on matt’s nerves. the double entendre was quick to affect matt, unbeknownst to anyone else except the two of you.

his hips slightly bucked up against your ass, a very low groan, almost a whimper, escaping his lips as you spoke, his hands holding onto the sides of your waist tightly, as if he were to let go, you would run away. you couldn’t deny the wetness starting to pool in your panties, a hint of redness showing up on your cheeks.

“agreed.” chris replied, though he was already distracted with another conversation madi and nick were having, incredibly loudly.

you were thankful they were all so distracted and caught up in their conversations that they couldn’t tell what was going on with you and your boyfriend. this allowed you to quickly stand up, your boyfriend standing right behind you to cover himself up, both of you making your way to his room as quickly as possible.

as soon as you walked through his bedroom door, he shut the door completely closed, quickly locking it, and before you could even let a single word out of your mouth, he was pushing you up against the wall, crashing his lips with yours, engulfing you in possibly the neediest kiss he’d ever given you. his hands were on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as your arms wrapped around his neck, reciprocating the kiss with equal force, your tongues fighting for dominance.

“god, i need you.” he managed to whisper in between kisses, his knee making its way between your legs, up all the way to your core, earning a low gasp of pleasure from you. “wanna make you feel good.” his hands made their way to the hem of your shirt, taking a shaky breath before asking, “can i?”

“yes, please,” you whined, shakily breathing as you stared into his eyes.

he wasted no time sliding your shirt off and skillfully undoing your bra as he leaned in for another passionate kiss, his hands sliding to cup your breasts, massaging them carefully as a loud moan escaped your lips. “matt–”

he knew you too well. he knew what you wanted without even having to voice it, and he followed your pleads, his hands moving down to undo your skirt, his gaze fixed on the way the skirt you were wearing hugged your curves so perfectly in a manner that made his cock twitch in his pants.

the skirt fell to the floor, revealing the lace panties that almost made matt cum in his sweatpants, a shaky breath eliciting from his mouth as he pulled your panties to the side, two fingers dipping down to rub your juices and spread them all over your cunt, preparing you for the stretch. “atta girl.” he whispered.

this earned a hiss and a low whimper from you, the cold metal from his rings contributing to the feeling of pleasure he was causing. you were sure your legs were going to give out, and your hands now lowered to hold onto his shoulders as your mouth was open agape, letting out shaky moans.

as soon as he felt you grip his shoulders tightly, he pushed two fingers into you, causing you to let out a loud moan and a whine of his name, making his cock twitch. he waited for a split second before starting to pump his fingers with ease, your wetness making it easier for him to slip in and out of you.

he was so focused on your expressions and your pleasure, watching your face contort with desire, your eyes rolling almost to the back of your head and your mouth open, letting out the prettiest sounds. it was priceless, he wouldn’t trade this moment for the whole world, knowing how good he could make you feel with just his fingers made his brain get hazy.

“you look so pretty like this,” he pumped his fingers in and out of you quickly, speeding up his movements as you whined and whimpered. it was starting to overwhelm you, everything about it. the coldness of his rings, the speed of his fingers, the whispered praise– before you knew it a knot was forming in the lower part of your stomach.

“i’m– fuck, i’m gonna cum.” you moaned out, already focusing on reaching your high, your hips grinding onto matt’s fingers for an extra sensation of pleasure– when all of the sudden, his movements stopped abruptly.

you could’ve sworn you almost let out a loud cry, a small whine escaping your lips as you held onto his shoulders as tight as possible, your legs slightly shaking. “please,”

“i need you to cum all over my cock,” his words sent a shiver down your spine, making you even wetter if that was physically possible, a blush rising to your cheeks despite the position you were currently in.

your lips connected once again in a hungry kiss, both of you making your way towards his bed as he broke the kiss for a second to take off his shirt, quickly kissing you again with desperation. you laid back onto his bed, almost all the way back, barely reaching the headboard, not once breaking the kiss.

he pulled back for a moment to take off his sweatpants and his boxers, not very mindful of where they were going to end up— all he wanted was to feel your cunt swallow his dick whole, and that was evident with the way his dick sprung up to his stomach, already leaking precum.

you could never get used to his size, and the mere sight of his dick springing up to his stomach made you squirm, almost drooling.

“shit, look at what you do to me, princess.” he spoke in a low tone, pumping himself a few times before leaning down close to you, lining himself up with your entrance before finally pushing himself inside, earning an almost pornographic moan from you as your hands moved to his back, your fingernails digging into his skin as he gave you a moment to adjust to his size.

after a quick moment he started moving with small grunts and groans, pushing himself in and out of you, almost abusing your cunt with the pace he was going at– your moans echoed through the room, loud cries of his name being heard as he pumped his dick into you.

“please, matt–” you whined loudly, digging your nails further into his skin as he thrusted even rougher, a dragged out groan coming from his lips.

“i know baby, let go, i got you.” he cut you off by pressing his lips onto yours, sharing a sweet yet desperate kiss as one of his hands reached down to your clit, using two fingers to stimulate you even further by rubbing at a speedy pace. “c’mon, let go angel.”

“i– fuck,” you cried out, the knot in the pit of your stomach finally coming undone with a loud moan of your boyfriend’s name, your nails scratching his back, leaving him with a burning sensation he was sure was going to leave marks by the next day.

“that’s it,” he praised, continuing his thrusts as you only managed the whine at the overstimulation, feeling his thrusts get sloppier as his breaths started to become uneven and unsteady. he thrusted even rougher a few more times before finally releasing inside of you with a loud groan, collapsing beside you on his bed, both of you attempting to catch your breath for a second.

you laid in comfortable silence for no longer than a minute before matt spoke up, “i’m gonna go run a bath for us, okay?” he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before standing up.

“sounds amazing.”

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h4m1lt0ns · 7 months

Text

LOVE HATE — LH°44

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴lewis hamilton x monégasque!ferrari!y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔another day, another bickering contest between everyone’s favourite rivals who we all want to end up together.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ dina denoire.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕cussing, fluff, supernatural references and spoilers.

y/n

♡ liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, 3,201,954 others.

y/n when you forget that monaco is the size of a needle’s eye so u keep running into the mf u hate ﹫lewishamilton

593,203 comments.

lewishamilton 🙄🙄🙄

username these two are unreal 😭

username ﹫mercedesamgf1 ﹫scuderiaferrari THEY’RE FIGHTING AGAIN

lewishamilton you literally could’ve vacationed anywhere else

➜ y/n I LIVE HERE????

➜ lewishamilton so what i’m a registered citizen too 🤨

➜ y/n i’m literally monégasque the rest of you are just tax evaders 🙄🙏

➜ username JDJAIQOKWJDJW

➜ username LMFAOOOOOOO

➜ username CALLED OUT THE WHOLE GRID

username can u two just kiss already like ???

username y/n and her emotional support rival 💔💔💔💔💔💔

username funny they act like this we all know you two can’t live without each other 🥱

username when the enemies to lovers is taking too long in the enemies stage 😐

lewishamilton also would appreciate it if you stop coming to my favourite coffee shop, that’s MY spot 🙏🏾

➜ y/n THE OWNER LITERALLY NAMED THE PLACE AFTER ME ????

➜ lewishamilton damn 🙏🏾 too bad it’s MY favourite place

➜ y/nscoffeehouse it’s okay sir Lewis, we like mercedes too!

➜ y/n blocking all of you

➜ username ALWOSJWA

➜ username they literally can’t escape each other 😭

➜ username oh to have a coffee shop in monaco be name after me

username mom and dad are fighting again what’s new

username how is lewis gonna name y/n as his arch nemesis yet she’s the only person he follows like ???

➜ username no bc make it make sense

charles_leclerc can you two act normal for once

➜ y/n NO HE’S SO ANNOYING

➜ lewishamilton oH SO IM THE ANNOYING ONE NOW

➜ y/n you’ve always been 🙏❤️

➜ lewishamilton oh fuck off

➜ y/n you first 🙄

username they’re in love your honour ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️😍😍😍😍😍🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

username how to fast forward to the part where they’re in love with kids and a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere???

lewishamilton by the way your hair looked ugly

➜ y/n ﹫sebastianvettel LOOK AT THIS

➜ sebastianvettel ﹫lewishamilton I taught you better

➜ lewishamilton ﹫y/n OH SO WERE SNITCHING NOW?

➜ y/n stfu u started

username my parents 😍😍😍😍😍

username lewis is just like me 🤞🏽 however i can admit that i’m in love w y/n

scuderiaferrari this shouldn’t be this entertaining 🍿

➜ mercedesamgf1 real

➜ username EVEN THE ADMINS GAVE UP LOL

lewishamilton

♡ liked by y/n, sebastianvettel and 3,203,103 others.

lewishamilton she actually isn’t that bad when she’s quiet ﹫y/n

933,120 comments.

y/n i told you i’m a nice person you just need to shut the fuck up to find out 😍

➜ lewishamilton there is NO point in being nice to you

➜ sebastianvettel stop you two

➜ sebastianvettel do I need to make you hold hands like little kids again?

➜ y/n no seb :(

➜ lewishamilton …no sry seb

username SEB MADE THEM HOLD HANDS 😭

➜ username expediting the enemies to lovers process for everyone’s mental health i see 😁

➜ username HALLELUJAH WERE GETTING SOMEWHERE

➜ username 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽

georgerussell63 they can get along ????

➜ landonorris shocked me too ngl

username now that they’re civil someone quickly make them sign some marriage papers

y/n never going hiking with you again i almost died

➜ lewishamilton lmao bc u scraped ur knee on a rock?

➜ y/n an eagle snached ur hat and almost took the last five hairs you have but do you see me talking abt that??

➜ lewishamilton sorry miss y/l/n 🧎🏾

➜ y/n good to know.

➜ username LAST FIVE HAIRS Y/N IM SCREAMINGGGGGGG

➜ username this interaction is everything.

username CAN THEY KISS ALREADY OMFG

y/n wait where did you go ﹫lewishamilton

➜ lewishamilton in the living room !!!!!

➜ username that’s a slutty amount of exclamation marks sir 🤨

username THEY’RE IN THE SAME HOUSE???

➜ username THEY’RE IN LEWIS’ HOUSE???

➜ username FORCED PROXIMITY ENEMIES TO LOVERS????

username if they don’t end up together i don’t know what i’ll do with myself

username ﹫sebastianvettel set them up or do something bro c’mon

➜ sebastianvettel tried that years ago

➜ username HUUUUUHHHH??!?!,!?!???

➜ username “TRIED” 😭😭😭😭

➜ username BABE WAKE UP NEW LEWY/N LORE DROPPED

➜ username OMFGGGGGG

lewishamilton ﹫y/n where the fuck did you go

➜ y/n u have a nice ass balcony

➜ lewishamilton get ur ass inside bc roscoe is looking for u

➜ y/n 🤨

➜ lewishamilton please come inside, your son looks sad without you because he misses you 🖤

➜ username ROSCOE IS LOOKING FOR HER 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔

username “your son” PLS OMFG

username god JUST ADMIT YOURE INLOVE WITH EACH OTHER

username it’s been years i can’t take this torture any longer

username omw to monaco to make these two fall in love

username can you AT LEAST fall in love for roscoe??? like my boy is a child of divorce

username “your son looks sad without you” MY HEART JUST GREW THREE TIMES ITS SIZE 🥲🥲🥲🥲

username roscoe hamilton y/l/n be the matchmaker we need 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

username SEB TRIED TO SET THEM UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

➜ fernandoalo_oficial trust me we all have

➜ username HELLO?????

➜ username THIS IS SO ???????

➜ username OH MY GOD. ALL OF YOU??

➜ fernandoalo_oficial me, seb, jenson, toto, mattia, pretty much the whole grid

➜ username YOURE JOE KING.

➜ username WOAHHHHHH THERE NANDO

➜ username try again bestie nando 🙏🏽❤️

➜ username one more try won’t hurt king alonso

y/n

♡ liked by carlossainz55, sebastianvettel and 4,103,855 others.

y/n learning to tolerate ﹫lewishamilton (who is is decent enough) bc roscoe is the love of my life 🤍🐾

1,294,685 comments.

lewishamilton you finally admit it 😐

➜ y/n i tolerate u for roscoe bc that’s my baby

username he’s actually great y/n 😁 ‼️he’s a (eight) seven time wdc, has great fashion, great music taste, his dog considers you his mom, has probably been in love with you for the past five to seven years, and he’s really fucking hot !! give him a chance 😁🙏🏽❤️

➜ username and he’s a really good person!!

➜ username + cute english accent as well

➜ username his hair is rly nice too!!!!!!

➜ username he also makes music sometimes

➜ username i see we’re all desperate to get these two idiots together

➜ username yes 😔

username ENEMIES TO LOVERS IS ENEMIES TO LOVERSING FINALLY THE SLOW BURN IS OVER 🥹

lewishamilton i’m a joy to be around wdym decent enough

➜ y/n you think you’re a joy ???

➜ lewishamilton i think i’m adorable 😁🙏🏾

➜ y/n wait is that a dean winchester reference

➜ lewishamilton …no.

➜ y/n yOU WATCHED SUPERNATURAL

➜ lewishamilton what was i supposed to do?? you wouldn’t shut up abt it 🙄

username HE 😭 WATCHED 😭 SUPERNATURAL 😭 FOR 😭 HER 😭

username they’re MY old married couple thank you 🤨❤️

username lewis watched supernatural bc y/n wouldn’t stop talking abt it 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

➜ username and he’s making references 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

➜ username MY PARENTS YOUR HONOUR

username what these bitches have is what i truly want in life, dear god.

username 🕯 manifesting they magically get together 🕯

username they just won’t admit they’re in love huh 😕

username one of you better make a move or i will

scuderiaferrari this has been the most interesting thing to happen this season i want to stay here forever

➜ username LMFAO ADMIN IS SO REAL

➜ username ITS YOUR TURN TO SET THEM UP

➜ username YEAH IT MIGHT WORK

➜ mercedesamgf1 it’s been years we all gave up

➜ username there’s really no hope huh

➜ username shhhhh my delulu says there is

➜ username ur delulu is deluluing

susie_wolff these two 🙄

➜ username even susie has had enough

➜ username mother susie please do something

➜ susie_wolff you think I haven’t tried?

➜ username I’VE OFFICIALLY LOST HOPE.

➜ username OH MY GOD 😭

➜ username the fact that the entire grid has tried to set them up ????

lewishamilton your son misses you btw.

➜ y/n i miss him too.

➜ username roscoe and i are children of divorce.

➜ username we all are.

lewishamilton

♡ liked by y/n, sebastianvettel and 7,294,103 others.

lewishamilton she’s the jo harvelle to my dean winchester

tagged: y/n

1,699,505 comments.

y/n three years of pretending i hate u is enough of a soft launch right ???

➜ username FYM THREE YEARS???

➜ username THREE WHAT NOW.

username LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE GOT THEM 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

pierregasly FINALLY.

mickschumacher THANK GOD I DONT THINK I COULD’VE BEEN ABLE TO SHUT UP FOR ANY LONGER

charles_leclerc the amount of time i’ve been threatened by y/n to stay quite requires compensation 😭 i’m so happy the secret’s finally out

➜ username LMFAOOOOOOO PLS

username HARDEST LAUNCH OF THE CENTURY??????????

username THE I LOVE MY GF MEME???? LEWIS WHO HAVE YOU BECOME.

username the fact that i’m surprised is almost offensive 😀

fernandoalo_oficial about fucking time

landonorris took long enough oh my god

➜ sebastianvettel all you did was watch them try to hide their relationship, be grateful you didn’t witness them deny being in love with each other between 2016 and 2019

➜ landonorris IT WAS WORSE THAN THIS?

➜ sebastianvettel oh boy, you haven’t seen anything

➜ username seb is sick and tired 😭

➜ username no bc 2016-2019 was something else frfr 😭😭😭

username YESSSSSSS OMFG FINALLY

username THREE YEARS??? THEY’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR THREE YEARS????

➜ username HOW WERE THEY ABLE TO HIDE FOR THREE YEARS

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username i can FINALLY sleep peacefully at night

lewishamilton wait so is roscoe technically jack or ben??

➜ y/n jack for sure, ben is barely relevant and roscoe is too famous and loved for that

➜ username “ben is barely relevant” i screamed.

➜ username they sold me. i’m watching supernatural tonight.

➜ username NO BC SAME.

username WE ARE NO LONGER CHILDREN OF DIVORCE ‼️‼️‼️😁😁😁😁🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

danielricciardo i would’ve lost my mind trying to remain quite for longer

➜ carlossainz55 I think we can all agree on this one (I too, have been threatened by y/n 😐)

jensonbutton this deserves a literal celebration, we are exhausted.

➜ username I LOVE HOW EVERYONE HAS HAD ENOUGH LMFAO

➜ username RIGHT LIKE THEYRE SO OVER IT LMAO

y/n jo literally had the most unfair death in the whole show ???

➜ lewishamilton can we not be cute FOR ONCE

➜ y/n tbf jo and dean would’ve been endgame

➜ lewishamilton there you go 😍😍😍

username MY PARENTSSSSSSSSS

username YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BREAK UP 🔥🔥🔥🔥

georgerussell63 WE DONT HAVE TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS ANYMORE 🥳

username is this … happiness? mercedes and ferrari fans are…. happy?

➜ username i sense a disturbance in the force

➜ username the happiest we’ll be all season LMAO

➜ username REALLLLL LMFAO

y/n you’re all mine 💕

➜ lewishamilton yours 🤞🏾

➜ y/n WAIT I CAN SAY THAT PUBLICLY NOW

➜ y/n GUYS HE’S MY BF 🤍🤍🤍🤍

➜ y/n AND I LOVE HIM 🤍🤍🤍 A LOT

➜ username SHE SAID IT!!! SHE SAID IT!!

username a hard launch for the books ong

username i’ve never been happier to see two people in love in my life

➜ username no literally

username AMENNNNNNNNN

username god i see what you did to other people

mercedesamgf1 toto says congratulations 🥳👏🏽

➜ mercedesamgf1 and that he was sick of his favourite couple hiding their love

➜ username EVERYYYYYYBODY IS TIRED HUH

➜ scuderiaferrari each and every one of us. exhausted. sick even.

➜ username oh y’all’s therapists have therapists 😭

lewishamilton okay stop looking at MY girl guys 🙄

➜ username “MY GIRL” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

➜ username OUR girl lew 🤞🏽

➜ lewishamilton no.

➜ username fym no?? sir she was our gf before she was became yours 😐

➜ lewishamilton well she’s MINE now so 🥰

➜ username okay jealous icon 😁🙏🏽

➜ username the fact he uses emojis so unironically well now bc of y/n is irritating like i can hear him say that lmfao

➜ y/n he may be an old man but that’s MY old man 🥰

➜ username this is everything.

➜ username 😭😭😭😭😭😭

➜ username “MY old man” 💔💔💔💔💔

#f1 fanfiction #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton x y/n #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton smau

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 29 days

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Hello I am going on a holiday to Eryri next month & I like to read up about an area before going there... do u have any reading or documentary or podcast recs? I'm particularly interested in the ecology & minority language activism & like. Peoples history & rural lives! I know this is stuff u know about in Wales but idk if north Wales is ur region! Míle buiochas ón Eireann!

Fáilte go dtí an Bhreatain Bheag! Or croeso i Gymru. Exciting! Keep an eye on the notes for others chiming in with good recs for documentaries and the like, I'm going to just give a super quick guide

Okay, pronunciation guide for place names and that is here in written form and here in video form. I cannot recommend strongly enough that you try to use the Welsh place names rather than the English translations. Duolingo is flawed but serviceable if you want to hear and learn some basic phrases. If you can at least throw out a 'bore da' to people you pass/shopkeepers, you'll be very well liked. You don't need to be fluent by any means, but Making An Effort is seen as, like, the nicest and politest and most wonderful thing in Wales, and particularly in regions like Eryri.

Because! It's one of the biggest remaining Welsh language strongholds. If you look at language maps over time in Wales, a pattern emerges:

And the current (2021) figures show this:

And you are going to this bit:

So you're heading into the Welshest bit in all of Wales! And the bit with the strongest and longest history of Welsh, too.

Which also means there's a lot of activism-related stuff in that area. It's probably worth you reading up on the history of Tryweryn (which was a bit further east, but sets the scene well); there was also a BIG thing a couple of decades ago where activists would burn down English-owned holiday homes (while they were empty in winter, not, like, with the English in them). This is because, in addition to the usual issues with the social impacts of holiday homes (driving up prices meaning locals can't live there, eroding communities, etc), holiday homes in Welsh language heartlands are a significant and tangible threat to the language. Even today, the issue of holiday homes is an extremely touchy subject, as is the issue of (mostly-English) people moving into the area because "It's so pretty!!!" and then not learning the language.

(Yet another reason they will love you if you Make An Effort)

Historically speaking, you'll be in a chunk of the country that was the ancestral seat of the last kings of Wales (Gwynedd). The final one, Llywelyn ein Llyw Olaf, was ambushed and murdered in 1282, which was the beginning of the end for fighting off English rule. In fact, Owain Glyndŵr later crowned himself king of Wales for about two years, but weirdly, no one acknowledges this as real kingship for some reason - if you google his name, he's always listed as a soldier or military commander, which really opens up a whole "Who gets to say when someone is royalty" debate, but he did actually claim descent from the House of Aberffraw anyway, so ultimately it still links back to Llywelyn.

Ecology! Temperate alpine. There actually isn't a global scientific distinction between hill and mountain, but most countries set an arbitrary height standard. This means it varies from country to country depending on how tall their topology is. Wales, however, bucks this trend, and instead decides based on what is formally referred to as 'land use' and colloquially referred to as 'Vibes'. If it's a hill, it's tamed - if it's a mountain, it's wild. This means Eryri is fairly short by the standards of tedious foreigners who regard mountains as a sort of geological dick waving competition, but it's in fact a whole mountain range; it's also older than Saturn's rings. And, crucially, it's very much sufficiently above sea level to have an alpine ecosystem.

There are three endemic (i.e. not occurring anywhere else in the world) species in Eryri, to whit:

The Snowdon lily. A small and delicate flower growing in protected and inaccessible spots on yr Wyddfa (formally known as Snowdon). Excessively vulnerable to trampling, so the national park keeps sections where it grows fenced off.

The Snowdon beetle. RAINBOW BEETLE.

The gwyniad. A sub-species of whitefish until recently exclusively found in Llyn Tegid (Bala Lake), trapped there after the ice age and now developing its own genetic profile distinct from other whitefish. Some dickhead in the 80s introduced the ruffe to the lake for fishing, and the ruffe eats the gwyniad's eggs, so they've now transplanted eggs to Llyn Arenig Fawr nearby as a conservation measure.

There's also feral goats. And Welsh mountain ponies. Ooh, and, red kites - in the UK red kites were so heavily persecuted they eventually fell to just 7 breeding pairs in Wales. We established a protected zone and hired Nepalese Gurkhas to guard the nests and thus saved it from extirpation so successfully they later translocated Welsh birds to other spots in the UK. It's a big conservation success story, and now red kites are considered to be the national bird of Wales. They have a very distinctive silhouette, too, look for the forked tail.

Oh, and, we have a unique habitat type called ffridd, which you see a lot of in Eryri.

Final wildlife pictures to close:

Anyway - have a great time! Enjoy muchly.

#asks #wales!#closed for cleaning on mondays #long post

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nymphomatique · 8 months

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Hiii!!

I was wondering if you could do either headcannons or an imagine with Miguel x fem!reader where Miguel really wants to try out mirror sex because he wants to see reader but the reader has a deep fear/hatred of mirrors and can’t stand looking at them unless it’s in the bathroom because according to her, that’s the only place a mirror should be!

Only do this if you’re 100% ok and comfortable with it! :))

this is sort of a mesh between headcannons and an imagine lol but i hope u enjoy my luvy 💋 also this is like 50% proof read so <3

cw: reader has insecurities but nothing specific, fem reader, oral (fem receiving), fingering, squirting lolzzz, light teasing, miguel just being a sweetheart, lowk soft dom miguel, miguel is a munch 🤭

• i think this happens in a world where you n mig are living together and just deeply happy and in love

• that being said i can see this happening post shower or bath with you and miguel

• you’re in the mirror with your towel wrapped around your upper chest, just doing your skincare and getting ready for bed

• miguel is absolutely ENTRANCED by you in this moment like mans is in the mirror just watching you like🧍the whole time not moving a muscle 😭

• you notice him obv and you’re wondering and asking him why he hasn’t said anything and is just Looking At You.

• “Hm? You just look pretty, s’all.”

• he looks SOOOOO shy saying it and you blush bc he’s in his thirties and is this big successful man at his job and here u are, watching him turn his head like a shy school girl bitch i can’t i love him

• you walk over n kiss him so gently and he just has to grab u by the waist and go in for the kill 🙄

• he starts trailing kisses down ur neck and pushing you flush into the counter RIGHT in front of the mirror

• “Wanna see what pretty faces you make when I fuck you, baby.” is the answer you get when you ask him why he didn’t just bring you to bed

• you’re immediately embarrassed and u know he means well but the insecurities in u start bubbling up.

• “Mig, I know you don’t wanna see my face. Besides, mirrors anywhere but the bathroom irk me. I hate looking at myself.”

• he immediately is looking at you like your head is bit off bc you are the most gorgeous and beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on.

• “What are you- Do you hear yourself? You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Do I have to prove it to you?” and prove it he does.

“Gorgeous,” Kiss. “Fuckin’ so pretty,” Kiss. “My stunning fucking lady. Mmm, you’re so good to me.” Kiss, Kiss, Kiss.

You’re blushing at Miguel’s praises as he kisses down your body, looking at you with full admiration and awe in his eyes. He kisses every scar, every stretch mark, every cut, and knick, and flaw until he’s on his knees, kissing your pubic mound, begging to let him prove it to you.

“Let me eat that pretty fuckin’ pussy and show you how good you you look when you cum on my tongue, baby,” he kisses around every but your needy clit and it makes you whine and reach out to coax him by running your fingers in his hair and pushing him closer to your wetness.

“Not until you say it,” Miguel slots his hand onto the one you put in his hair, finally looking up at you with a firmness and glimpse of need in his eyes. You feel yourself unraveling every passing second he’s antagonizing you with that electric mouth of his.

“Okay, you can touch me…” you swallow, needy and embarrassed.

“I am touchin’ you baby. Unless you want me somewhere else?” he quips, the fucking smart ass. You whine and look down at him once more, knowing he wouldn’t waiver until you told him what he wanted to hear.

“Please,” you whine in defeat, “eat me out, Miguel. Show me.” And he needs no dither cue. He slots his warm mouth on you and you’re seeing stars as his nose brushed against your most sensitive area. Your grip tightens on his hair and you keen, grabbing the counter for support as his sucks on your clit so expertly. He interrupts your ecstasy when he removes his mouth from you to kiss your bikini line.

“Look in the mirror and look at yourself. If you look away I’m gonna stop.” he says, his voice absent of any indication that you should argue with him on this.

You give him a shaky “Yes, Miguel..” and look at yourself when he slots his mouth against you once more. There’s a new fervour present in his actions, his large hands making way to your hips, simultaneously squeezing and dwarfing them with their sheer size. Your breath is caught in your throat, his actions sending your other hand to his head, tightening your hold, and a new wave of heat to your pussy.

“M-Miguel, oh my fucking god baby,” you moan, his tongue swirling and sucking along your bundle of nerves, and moving one of his hands to enter one of his long fingers into you. You squeal and tighten at the feeling, Miguel groaning into you at your response.

You’re looking at yourself in the mirror, nipples erected, face flushed, the markings on your hips of where Miguel’s hands once slotted themselves, his head peeking above the counter as he’s eating your pussy like a mad man and you happen to perk up at your appearance, finding the beauty in your pleasure tinted expression like Miguel and told you earlier. The ecstasy written all in your face sends and unfamiliar wash of heat to your lower belly and you keen and the feeling along with Miguel’s ministrations on your pussy.

“St- Stop I’m gonna pee, Miguel. I can’t anymore,” you begin to pant as you push his head away from the overstimulation.

“Mmm, I got you squirtin’ from looking at yourself? Keep goin’ baby, wanna feel you gush f’me,” he slurs into you as he eats and strums fingers inside you with a new vigour. Your legs start shaking and you start to push him with all the strength you can muster him, but with Miguel being 300 pounds of pure muscle, you know this wasn’t going to be a winning battle for you.

And so, you feel the coil of pleasure bubble up within you until it couldn’t contain itself, and you squeal as you gush spurts of clear liquid that Miguel slurps up with a deep and heavy groan.

“So fuckin’ sexy, baby,” Miguel says once you’ve finished cumming. He kisses up your pelvis, stomach and chest until he reaches your lips to plant a slow and sensual kiss, all while covered in and tasting of you. He pulls apart from you and gives you a solemn look.

“You’re beautiful, my love. Doesn’t take a mirror to see that,” he says softly as he kisses your forehead. “Gonna run you a bath and order food, go sit.”

And you spend the rest of the night together cuddled up and sated on the couch, listening to Miguel’s sweet nothings that you begin to believe.

#you’ve got mail💌#atsv miguel #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara drabble #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara x you #miguel atsv smut

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mediumgayitalian · 2 months

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okay a few solangelo things i’m curious your take on,

what kind of gift givers do you think will and nico are to each other?

are either of them music nerds? making playlists? gifting playlists? what music do u think they like?

what is their favorite fruit?

do you think either of them keep up with pop culture? are they fans of anything? celebrity crushes? like do you think will would think timothee chalamet is cute bc he lowkey has nico’s vibes and is such a buzzer name for celeb crushes? lolll

and then, do you think nico shamelessly takes will’s sweaters and shirts to wear or secretly swipes them?

ty! love ur blog so much xx

HELL YEAH THANK YOU

what kind of gift givers do you think will and nico are to each other?

i think nico spoils will fucking rotten.

his dad is the god of wealth he is holding NOTHING back. aside from that, he grew up wealthy and spent so so long in the lotus casino. i think he has a rly bad handle on money lol.

however he's such a mysterious guy that i think it doesn't occur to will that nico is actively spending money on him??

like will makes an offhand comment about how he would marry the person who would bring him the mystical rocket launching boba fett. and nico is like word okay and the next day there is a rocket launching boba fett on will's pillow and he's like BRO???? OH MY GOD?????

but he just figures that nico knew someone who had it!! he knows nico is big on figurines & collectibles and has a lot of connections, so he thinks nico just called in a favour.

in reality nico did all those things and also spent like two hundred k lol

basically, nico doesn't even think about it. if he hears a friend express a want that he has to means to acquire...its not even an active choice to him?? he's like well why wouldn't i buy this for them.

and i think this means a whole lot to will!!

he's spent his life in his mom's tour van or a bunk bed. he grew up in two wars. he was responsible for an entire infirmary at 13. he's a nerd and he likes nerdy things but like...collecting takes time. and money he doesn't have, because money isn't really a focus in camp and its not like he's paid lol

so of course there are things that he likes but...imagine being will. imagine having a budget for the INFIRMARY YOU RUN and thinking, like...well the camp has only so much money. i know exactly what these medical supplies cost. i refuse to steal. why would i ever be so selfish to ask for money to be spent on me and the things i like?

and then there's nico, who doesn't need him to ask. who WANTS to give him things he wants, not just what he needs or what he wants for others. what WILL wants. nico will get him.

will on the other hand....he gives away his time like it's free.

he does things for people. constantly. like austin complains about not having anywhere quiet to practice and will builds him a soundproof practice room. you know?

now when nico, who has had no one spend their time on him since bianca....

like his father did not have time for him. even when he lived in the underworld, he was put to work. or else he was bored. it's not like he and hades HUNG OUT, you know?

and of course he had no friends to spend their time on him. even in his first time at camp half blood -- for the first time, bianca didnt have time for him. she chose the hunters for ETERNITY, she said i am done choosing you now. and nico drove percy insane, who certainly didn't have time for him between saving the world. the entire time we saw him in TTC he was being pushed away.

by the time he had hazel, HE was the one pushing himself away before anyone else could. he filled his time so he wasn't waiting for anyone else. besides, through no fault of hers, he and hazel CAN'T give each other as much of their time as they would like!! they live on opposite sides of the country!!

but will.....

gods will. will SEEKS HIM OUT. the first thing will says to him is i have carved out, in my busy healer schedule, three days of time for YOU. not only have i carved out these three days, but in that brief moment of time where i was running around camp, i was thinking about you. you were a PRIORITY and i'm upset that you did not come spend your time with me.

like.....oh my god. can you imagine that? being nico? hearing someone you barely know, at this point, talk about how much time he wants to spend with you? and then as you get closer, he spends SO MUCH time with you!! he makes you a priority!

will walks nico to breakfast and watches him in sword practice and takes out his schedule when nico is making his to make sure they line up. he plans dates and they're FUN and he is so careful to make them enjoyable for nico, too, so much so that he forgets his nerves.

the biggest gifts they give to each other is noticing, i think. i see you, i see what you need and wont ask for, and i care enough to give it to you anyway.

are either of them music nerds? making playlists? gifting playlists? what music do u think they like?

will is the HUGEST MUSIC NERD IN THE WORLD.

he may not have many musical talents himself but music was naomi solace's whole world. you bet your ass it's everything for him, too.

he is teased for his love of country, and he does love country (everybody loves country if you hate country you are lying to yourself, i know you sing along to before he cheats with your whole chest), but he has a VAST music taste.

he is a britney spears stan. i will not be convinced otherwise.

nico, on the other hand, is not nearly as ignorant about music as people pretend he is. y'all he was in a casino/arcade until like 2006!!!!! do you think it was silent in there!!!!! do you think he is not the absolute king of just dance and DDR!!!

however he was, like, 10. so i think he's familiar with a lot of songs but in the way you were when you were a kid, you know?? like i could sing paparazzi w my whole chest beginning to end flawlessly at eight years old, but i would not have been able to recognise lady gaga by name or sight.

i think he and will make somewhat of a game out of it. the first time they hang out, nico is NERVOUS beforehand. like for hours. will said they were going to have a chill day bc he has time off, but what are they supposed to DO?? before they were actively doing stuff together. will was teaching nico first aid basics, or nico was helping him around the infirmary; they were helping rebuild camp together. sure, they were talking, but they had something to focus on if things got awkward or conversation faded naturally.

that is VERY DIFFERENT from just hanging out in person. is nico supposed to have conversation starters prepared? how much silence is rude? is will going to finally decide he's boring? or weird? will is such a hyper person!!! how is nico supposed to entertain him!!

meanwhile will is in his cabin freaking the fuck out to his siblings like GUYS HES GONNA THINK IM A WEIRD NERD DORK LOSER 😭😭😭.....WHAT IF HE SAYS THE WORD SAND AND I GO ON THE ANAKIN SKYWALKER RANT ON REFLEX FUCK KAYLA WHAT DO I DO I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON HE IS SO OUT OF MY LEAGUE

so he calls his mom 💀

and his mom is like baby....you are a disaster are you aware. and hes like thanks MOM i know i need HELP OKAY

and naomi is like well you got on with my backstage crew just fine. and hes like well yeah we just talked about music that was easy.

...

OH THANKS MOM YOURE SO SMART

and he's like wait nico has spent a lot of time in the underworld...he might not be very up to date!! this'll be awesome. so he stays up till like 3 on the big house computer carefully making nico several CDs worth of playlists.

he makes HOURS of music. way more than they could ever listen to in one day, but he gets carried away. he makes a playlist with his favourite country music, including his moms stuff obviously, with rock music he thinks nico in particular will like, pop punk stuff, regular pop, an entire CD dedicated to the icon herself kesha (whom he knows personally bc she sun backup vocals for his mom when she was a teenager), some musicals, and some iconic european music to top it off. he has a little bit of EVERYTHING.

most important, though, he makes a CD with the top 100 billboard songs from the years 1958 (when it started) to 1985. he doesnt have enough time to do it all the way to this year in one night but vows to work on it when he has time.

when he goes to nico's cabin, he comes with a stack of CDs as long as his arm and chiron's CD player. he's practically sparkling with excitement; when nico opens the door he is already halfway through a sentence lol.

for four straight hours, they just listen to song after song, will pausing after each one to ask what nico thinks. he recognises a lot of them, even though he didn't know their names, but even still he's pretty quiet at first. but as they go on it gets hard not to get caught up in wills excitement, and he dances like such a dork, anyway, is it his fault for laughing? and those four hours pass like MINUTES and suddenly its curfew and will has to go.

this becomes their tradition! will plays a song, nico reviews it. even as they learn how to hang out with each other in different ways, it becomes reflex -- when there's a song playing will looks at nico for a reaction. when they're with others, in public, whenever.

the first time nico makes will a playlist he cries.

the playlist is called sunshine.

will plays on his walkman until its worn right through.

what is their favorite fruit?

at first will thinks nico doesn't like fruit at all because he has to force this dumbass to eat fruit and vegetables. all he eats is like. cereal and sandwiches. it stresses will the fuck out.

he's out here plopping a bowl of fruit on nico's table like eat this whole thing or i'm gonna whoop your ass before scurvy does. (he is genuinely afraid nico is going to get scurvy, although its not a very effective anxiety because hes kind of deeply afraid of scurvy in general and is always trying to push people to eat oranges lol).

nico ALWAYS drags his feet about it. at one point will gets worried that nico just straight up doesn't like fruit and starts fretting about synthetizing supplements.

turns out nico is just, like...a little pretentious. about fruit particularly. in his defense, he has been all over the world. like he's had indian mangoes and algerian clementines okay it is VERY hard to settle for stuff grown in north america as nice as the demeter greenhouses are.

his favourite fruit ever is the lemon though. he had a lemon tree in his backyard when he was a kid that he doesn't remember, exactly, but he remembers how it tastes. will brings him a lemon once and almost as if his hands are working on their own, he cuts a slice, removes the peel and pith, puts it in a jar of sugar, and shakes to coat it, like his nonna would do secretly when he mama wasn't looking. its the best thing he's ever tasted.

will is a fruit fanatic, on the other hand. he steals strawberries every time he walks by the fields. the demeter cabin has to count their blueberries every night because he can and will eat them all when no one's looking.

his favourite, though, and he never ever gets it at camp, is prickly pear. in the summers before camp he would go to the desert with his mom and pick enough to make his stomach hurt -- he's never home when they're in season now, so sometimes when she's free shell drive up to new york just to bring him a box of them. she knows he's busy and cant leave camp in summers but she wants him to have that, at least.

i think all year-rounders are into pop culture just fine, but they're a few years behind. except for music -- will knows music. but things like movies and tv shows and memes, they either get updated from their summer-only friends or they stumble upon in naturally when it's not longer relevant lol.

nico, though, has an encyclopedic knowledge of old pop culture, because the lotus got new tech and games and movies before literally anyone else. he saw back to the future before it was in theatres and it changed his life. he quotes it all the time and no one has called him out on it then, but it is only a matter of time.

(he has seen star wars. he saw star wars before will was alive. but it is 100% funnier to pretend he doesn't know what a galaxy is and watch will's eye twitch when he asks him about luke skyrunner)

and then, do you think nico shamelessly takes will’s sweaters and shirts to wear or secretly swipes them?

yes absolutely. but he's super embarrassed about it at first so he genuinely STEALS them, not just borrows them.

it's a heist and everything. he shadow travels into the apollo cabin at like three in the morning and rifles through will's shelf. when he gets back he panics and shoves it under his mattress, where it lives in shame for four months. will just thinks it must have been an unfortunate victim of some poor sick child or bleeding demigod and writes it off.

after several months, during which nico thinks about the sweater ALL the time but cannot physically force himself to touch, nico finally gets brave enough to take it out from under his mattress. he just stares at it for a long ass time, wrinkling it in his clenched hands. it's just a hoodie, you know?? who cares.

nico cares. obviously.

eventually he gets so annoyed with himself that he just yanks it on expecting to be able to tell himself like SEE you dumbass it's just a piece of clothing it literally does not matter. except.

except.

the hoodie still smells like will.

somehow.

and that is.

well.

he would rather dunk his head into the river of fire than admit it, but he melts. the hoodie is old as hell and worn and so so so so soft, gods, no wonder will wears it all the time. he never wants to take it off ever.

for weeks, whenever he's alone in the cabin, he wears the hoodie. it stops smelling like will pretty quickly but he doesn't mind, it's still the most comfortable thing ever. it becomes second nature to walk into his cabin, throw off his jacket, and tug the hoodie on, wearing it to bed.

on one night, and of course it's the hermes' cabin fault, everyone is rushing out of their cabin to see what the fresh fuck is sounding like twenty four fire alarms at once and also a nuclear explosion. nico, in his haste, does not take off the hoodie.

will, whipped, makes sure his siblings are okay and then turns immediately to find nico. he Sees The Hoodie. nico Sees Him See The Hoodie. nico tries to flee.

will has longer legs and also spots a teasing opportunity, so hera herself could not stop him.

will teases him to pieces but is also visibly pleased. the next morning nico finds another hoodie of will's hung over his desk chair.

he wears will's hoodies all the time.

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THESE IN I HAD SO MUCH FUN

#wrote these for the entirety of my class bc this class is Boring As Shit #pjo #percy jackson and the olympian #hoo #heroes of olympus #pjo hoo toa #nico di angelo #will solace #nico di angelo/will solace #nico di angelo & will solace #solangelo #will/nico #nico/will #nico di angelo headcanon #will solace headcanon #longpost #my writing #ask

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jksprincess10 · 9 months

Note

hi! ur writing is so good ily 😻

um so imagine inexperienced!din who comes across an “adult video” where the guy is eating the girl out and din just absolutely fixates on it, he just cannot get the thought of doing the same thing to reader and once he finally does..? he’s insatiable, he just refuses to stop, give you a break or anything.. he can’t help it, is whining and groaning into her and grinding against the bed.. (maybe cums in his pants idk 🤭)

🏃🏾‍♀️

Hi ! Thank you for your request. Hope this is what you had in mind!

Just a little taste. CW: desperate!din, inexperienced!din, brothel, mention of sex work, mando'a language, mention of porn, oral sex (f), fingering, din cums in his pants.

The bounty was a man who would frequent these sinful parts of Cocruscant and you had to play the part. Mando, a client and you… a worker. Your pretty face would make getting information much easier. Mando, on the other hand… would stick out like a sore thumb with his shiny beskar armor.

So, you wore the uniform. It would probably qualify as a dress, although there wasn’t nearly enough fabric to be one. An almost transparent veil covered your breasts, in two crossed lines that went down your back and hid in the “skirt”, also transparent, making the color of your underwear known by everyone.

From that moment on, Din didn’t look at you. Maybe he thought you were ugly? You huffed in frustration and went to interrogate the clients, playing the flirty and innocent girl.

If Din could have looked for the bounty anywhere else, he would’ve. He was thankful for the heavy helmet covering his face, disguising the permanent blush on his cheeks. He sat at the bar, an immobile statue to the rest of the costumers. The bartender asked if he needed anything, he shook his head. For now, he only wanted to look around and keep an attentive ear on what people said.

You, on the other hand… You made it hard for him to concentrate. He saw you going around like a butterfly, like you were in your element. He felt ashamed of the jealousy tying his stomach and… another sentiment. Unfamiliar.

Strong, unknown desire.

He tried to concentrate on anything other than your goddess-like body. But this whole place… reeked of sex and sin. The music in some alien language was sensual and the projected holovids were… literal porn.

He felt the familiar tightness in his pants that happened every time you got too close to him, and he cursed under his breath. A particular holovid held his attention for longer. It depicted a humanoid female getting eaten out by a male. The latter was passionate about it, and he could see the pleasure on her face.

Dank farrik, he wanted to do the same thing to you. Bury his head between your thighs and live there for a little while. He asked for an alcoholic beverage for courage, that he drank in a hidden corner by barely lifting his helmet. He then passed next to you to attract your attention and pointed to one of the closed rooms. You gave him a puzzled look but assumed that he had found some information.

When you entered the room and locked the door behind you, you found Mando sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked so out of place here, way too big for that little space.

“Did you find anything?”

There was a slight tilt of his helmet as he took in your beautiful form.

“No.” The modulated voice responded.

You crossed your arms in frustration.

“Then, why are we here? This man was about to give me everything.”

“It’s… hard to concentrate here, cyar’ika.”

The affectionate name made your cheeks heat up.

“Well, not my fault if you’re a pervert. Let me do my job.” You turned around to open the door, but his broad figure suddenly shadowed yours. A gloved hand stopped yours and he turned you around, crowding you against the door. You looked up at him, confused by his change in demeanor.

“I saw something that I want to do to you. Please.”

You would lie to yourself if you said that you were indifferent to him. Even though you had no idea what he looked like, you had thought about him in that way. And he looked so desperate and adorable right now, how could you say no?

“Okay.” You responded breathlessly.

His hips pressed against yours, making you feel his hard erection.

“Do you trust me, cyar’ika?” He asked as his gloved hand cupped your face.

“Yes. With my life.”

And it was the truth – he had saved you on multiple occasions. You closed your eyes, waiting for him to do something, anything. He took off his gloves and you felt his warm hands undoing the top of your dress. He tied a piece of it around your eyes, bunching the fabric together so it was less see-through. You opened your eyes to see that everything was veiled, you could barely see. Din slid the rest of your dress down. Then, he guided you delicately to the clean bed, where you laid down for him, thighs parted. He could see how damp you were through your panties, where a wet stain had formed.

“You’re so pretty.” He breathed in a not-modulated voice, suddenly. It was very similar, but much warmer.

Oh.

The helmet was off.

You needily cupped his face between your hands, feeling the slight burn of facial hair there, and you brought him closer.

“Can I kiss you?” You asked almost shyly.

As a response, his lips latched onto yours. It was surprisingly soft, the way he kissed you. But still, it made you feel even needier. You bit slightly on his bottom lip, and he opened his mouth for you, letting you slide in your tongue. Din’s moans died in your mouth.

All of a sudden, his lips had left yours, and you felt him delicately tracing down your body. Your back arched a little, inviting him even closer.

His lips found the line of your hip, the start of the fabric covering your core.

“Please.” You begged softly.

And he was eager to indulge you. He slipped your panties down and you kicked them off. His lips slid down your pubic bone.

“Have you ever done that before?” You asked. It wasn’t judgmental. You just wanted to help.

“No.” He responded, almost shamefully.

“Don’t overthink it.”

He nodded and licked a tentative stripe on your slit. You whimpered at the contact, hands grabbing his head, where you found curly hair. Beginning to feel a little more confident, he used the same motion to lick your slit a few times. Then, he used two fingers to open your lips and find your most sensitive spot.

He used the tip of his tongue to touch your clit, just to see your reaction.

“Fuck… Din, lick me there, yes.”

Encouraged by your words, Din circled his tongue around it at a steady rhythm. Your fingers tugged on his curls as you moaned in appreciation.

“Don’t stop… You’re gonna make me cum…” You warned.

And he didn’t. He redoubled his efforts, licking at a face pace, until your legs started to shake from your orgasm. He didn’t stop even then, licking and sucking through your orgasm, while you were very sensitive.

“Oh, stars… Y-You can stop…”

But visibly, he intended to keep going. He sucked softly, while one of his fingers found your entrance. You were so sensitive; you came almost instantly when he curled up his finger. Encouraged by your moans, he devoured you, even though you were begging him to stop, overstimulated. He ate you like he hadn’t had food in days, producing lewd wet sounds with his mouth. He even added another finger, curling them at the same rhythm as the motions of his tongue. The oversensitivity of it all almost hurt, but pleasure was even more overwhelming.

You couldn’t see, but you felt him moving against the mattress, rutting into it like he was imagining himself fucking you, but instead, he fucked you with his fingers and his tongue.

“Din… Wish I could see you…” You whimpered softly.

Mando groaned against your cunt, hips thrusting faster into the mattress. He pulled another orgasm out of you before you held him with your thighs to stop him. He kept fucking into the mattress until he came, staining the inside of his suit.

Out of breath, Din fell heavily beside you and brought you closer. You lifted your chin to find his lips, tasting yourself on his tongue. When you pulled away, you whispered:

“As much as I would like to stay here forever, we have work to do if we want to be paid…”

He groaned in frustration.

“You’re right, mesh’la. Let me clean up and I’ll meet you there…”

#writing requests #din djarin #din djarin smut #din djarin x you #mandalorian #mandalorian smut #mandalorian x you #mandalorian x reader #mandalorian x yn #mandalorian x y/n #din djarin x yn #din djarin x y/n #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x you #din djarin x reader

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mirukosbitchywife · 1 year

Text

aizawa, fatgum, twice, mirio, kirishima, and shinsou x reader who dyes their hair

another request from the bestie!! this one was for aizawa, fatgum, twice, mirio, kirishima, and shinsou x reader who dyes their hair a lot, like every month kinda stuff!! hope u like it!! this is my first time writing for a few of them so i hope it's okay!

shouta aizawa:

•literally doesn't care. might actually deadass not notice you dyed it again. he seems like the type to always look his s/o in the eye/face, you might have to point out things like your hair and clothes to get him to pay attention to them, but he always compliments your makeup if you wear any (bc that's where he's staring) so he makes up for it <3

•don't ask him to help you pick a color ever. it will not end the way you want it to he will literally just pick at random, you're better off asking someone else or picking yourself

•not so secretly skilled with doing hair, he's besties with nemuri and i'm so sure he's had to help out kiri w dying his hair too!! so aizawa is the person to go to if you need help with it!! will only grumble a little but that's normal

•will covertly bitch about protecting your hair. sees you with another box of bleach too soon and just. grabs it from you. doesn't say shit. takes it and goes. gives it back to you in like a month?

•might actually knock you out if you try to buy another after he took one from you

taishiro toyomitsu:

•notices immediately and compliments the color(s) on you!!! calls you a different pet name with each color too, like pink would be sweetie, blue would be darling, smth like that, he just likes giving you new ones.

•amazing decision maker. for everyone out there who struggles to make basics choices? this is ur man. will help you pick a color and will argue his point when ur still indecisive. king.

•don't ask him to help you dye it tho. i'm sorry he just seems. i don't want to be mean to him but i think if he tried to help you dye your hair it'd be all over the both of you. more on you two than your hair. sorry tai </3

•WILL let you dye his hair to match yours!!! he wears a hoodie during work anyway so it wouldn't mess with anything!! he actually loves the matching too

•helps you take care of it, looks up tips on his phone to show you later, recommends products for you to use (also buys all the shit for u thank god)

jin bubaigawara:

•stumbles trips over the air cries screams throws up every time you dye your hair. he is so ridiculous in his enthusiasm. every time you dye it it's like he's never seen anyone with brightly colored hair before even tho he lives with spinner

•probably also a pretty good person to go to when you can't decide on a color, he's had to wise up on what goes with what since becoming a big brother to toga who WILL stab him if he chooses wrong. so he might be able to give good advice

•i also don't think he should be allowed anywhere near your head. like think 10x as messy as with taishiro because jin is also super clumsy and will get it everywhere. on you two on the floor on the sink on the bathtubs somehow? on the ceiling? idk how he did it

•probably would also let you dye his hair to match yours since he does wear his mask. i think during the meta liberation army arc when he starts doubling himself again, him having his hair dyed and his clones having blonde hair would really help him with the trauma as well

•doesn't give you tips, doesn't help you, takes care of your hair For you. he can't dye hair but he can moisturize and comb it out for you 🥺 maybe even braid it if you want

togata mirio

•he doesn't notice when you do your hair, no. he was watching you with his face on the wall out of your line of sight watching you do it. (i think he's kinda just Always Watching, not in a creepy way but like he'll pop up to watch you do your makeup/your hair, pops up to walk you to and from places when he can, etc.)

•gives you tons and tons of compliments whenever you dye it a different color. he's probably mid at picking between colors tho, idk if i trust his style sometimes..

•could Probably be trusted to dye your hair, he would be REALLY focused on making sure it's perfect and that he doesn't fuck it up, watched TONS of videos beforehand

•he doesn't have a hood or mask but would still be willing to let you dye his hair to match, it's honestly really his style

•probably likes to leave hair products around for you. idk how he does it considering he can't go through things with items but whatever

eijirou kirishima

•would absolutely LOVE being w someone who also dyes their hair!! it's probably how y'all bonded in the first place!

•very good at choosing between colors. even super similar colors. he's Very particular about the shade of his hair so he knows what's up!!

•will absolutely want to do each other's hair together!! you dye his hair and he dyes yours !! very fun to do but you guys also get pretty messy. worth it tho

•he would be super super excited if you also want to dye your hair red, Might dye his hair a different color for a month or so if you have a specific signature color as well but that's as good as you're gonna get.

•you guys both totally share hair care tips together like true relationship goals

hitoshi shinsou

•waits in anticipation for whatever color you're doing next. literally no matter what color you dyed your hair, no matter how patchy or uneven it is, he will compliment it

•don't ask him to help pick between colors. he will say yes to every color and when you go "that's not how it works" he's just like "okay but they all look good on you i can't decide" WHICH IS THE ISSUE IN THE FIRST OLACE BECAUSE YOU ALSO CANT PICK THATS WHY YOU CAME TO HIM!!!! grr

•oh my god he's been watching youtube tutorials on dying hair since he found out you dye yours, he's SO ready to dye your hair when you finally ask him. does an amazing job chefs kiss

•will bite you if you try to over bleach your hair, i'm so serious. he's like nooooo idc how excited u are for a new color no more bleach 👿

•another one who personally wants to apply products to your hair and knows so many hairstyles u can't convince me otherwise. he learned more so he can play in ur hair <3

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whore-ibly-hot · 5 months

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what are ur ocs endgame goals??? like with or w/o reader, what are they hoping for. like r we talking white picket fence n a golden retriever or is it like "reader lets me,,, look at them,,,, today :3"

Hmm... good question! Well, let's examine our boys and girls!

The mean girls haven't even really put that much thought into it, but they'd like to drag you along to whatever sorority they join in College.

Fritz wants to marry you, of course and have a minimum of three babies. Johannes would of course just desire to serve his general, and his generals wife. He adores you, and would help to raise the kids as uncle Josie. Fritz goal is just to love his family and keep all of you safe. He wants his sons or daughters as far from the army and war as possible.

Patrick and Ahmed have different goals. Patrick wants to feel in charge of something for once, to own your body. He also craves the softness you provide, so he seeks to keep you as a girlfriend. His pretty little partner on his arm, his own caring, soft pocket pussy, all for him, (and Ahmed when he's feeling generous.). Ahmed has no specific goal, besides being owned by you (quite the opposite of Patrick). Want a house husband? Great! Want him to work? He won't like being away from you, but his father can get him a good job. Don't want a marriage? As long as your gaze and touch remains on him, he doesn't care. He'll be your dog if that's what you really want.

Joey wants as many kids as he can get in and out of you before you just can't have anymore. Preferably quite a few animals too. He wants your young ones to have the experience and knowledge of farm life that he had as a kid. He wants you to stay at home, but you don't have to cook and clean if you don't want! Just sit pretty, and let him hold you and all your babies at the end of a hard day. And maybe, just let him put on more in you.

Mattias's goals is to give you the world. He knows your living in the slums right now, and this isn't the life he wanted for him and his ma, and certainly not for you. He's gonna make money boxing and kicking teeth in until he can afford to get you whatever you want, and put you up in a safe place. Maybe then, the two of you will slip up more, and you might get pregnant. He doesn't crave fatherhood as much as some of the guys, but once he sees his dark-haired little hijo or hija, he's hooked for life. Now he's gotta ramp it up, he's got his baby and his love to look out for.

Puck isn't one for setting goals, but he does have one things he needs. See, he lives hundreds of years, and you don't. He likes your mortal naivety, and how amazed you are at magic, so it shouldn't be that hard to trick you into drinking or eating something to make you immortal. He just can't imagine spending the rest of eternity without his favorite playmate!

Carl wants your eyes on him, and him only. He'll knock yo up, then you'll have to marry him? Right? Shit, he doesn't care most nineteen year olds shouldn't be dads, you've got his baby, and your gonna be hid wife. Who else would you want to marry besides your best friend? He's got a big family, he's sure he can figure out how to parent and be a good husband. Just... don't go anywhere.

Joshua knows you're not leaving the cult anytime soon, and you'll have to marry eventually. No boys or girls would dare go against him, not when he's as intimidating and revered as he is. It won't be hard to convince Gabriel to marry you to him. He couldn't really care less if you had a baby with him. He's not one for kids. He's mostly just excited to have you to bed, now that you're married. He's got a lot of hormones built up from years of abstinence in the cult.

Morgan wants to spoil you. He has to make up for all the awful things your ex-husband put you through. Gifts, vacations, a penthouse, it's all yours. He just wants to show you what a real man can provide. Of course he wants to marry you, but he's more eager for after the wedding, when he can finally call you his wife. He wouldn't know what to do with a baby, but whatever you want, he'll get you.

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atinylittlepain · 14 days

Text

Part Two

no outbreak!joel miller x f!oc

series playlist

joel miller masterlist

series masterlist

She's tired. He's tired. They're neurotic. They're in love. Something needs to change. They need to change.

word count | 5.1k

chapter content info | 18+ little angst, couples counseling, just two tired people trying to figure out the tangle of their relationship together

a/n | part two is here, and i'd just like to say thank you to everyone being so kind about the first part - i know this isnt the usual peepaw fare, so thanks for giving her a chance - and also big thank you to @wannab-urs for beta-ing this bad boy <3

............................................

This is not a failure. She is not failing. They are not failing. Every Thursday at four o’clock she shuts her laptop and locks her office and stops in the bathroom at work, silently repeats these things to herself in her mind while she rubs her fingers at smudged mascara in the bathroom mirror. Like a mantra, though she’s not sure she’s fully bought into it yet. Because the truth is, she has had plenty of conversations with plenty of girlfriends that, really, they shouldn’t have been having about other girlfriends, not in the room with us girlfriends who, did you hear, started going to therapy and, did you hear, started going to therapy with their, oh no, husbands. Yes, she has been the bitch who has made jokes about death knells and a marriage’s last gasp for breath, jokes about the husband having the emotional range of a goldfish, and the wife being so up the husband’s ass she should give him a colonoscopy while she’s at it. She’s not really making jokes like those anymore.

She’s not supposed to be doing what she’s doing this Thursday at four o’clock. When they first went to Vicky (LMFT, for the record) her fundamental decree had been a period of full separation. Sixteen years, she had asked, and they had nodded, and she had said whoa boy, yeah, y’all need to back off each other before we do anything else. If Paula Dean had a penchant for self-help instead of butter, she’d be something like Vicky. And so, with all the care of a drill sergeant delivering commands, or a mechanic running a diagnostic on a fucked-up car, Vicky had told them how this is going to go. An apartment, she said, don’t care which one of you lives in it. Minimal contact between sessions, right, keep it civil, right, this isn’t for forever, right. So Joel got an apartment, and Tommy helped him move all the furniture in the basement with admittedly minimal, but still present, wariness, and for the last four weeks they’ve been doing everything their beloved herr-therapist tells them. She supposes it’s working, although you can’t really do much fighting when you only see the other person for ninety minutes every Thursday so, the results might be confounded, actually.

“Hey there.” Hey there? What the fuck, what the actual fuck. He doesn’t think he’s ever said those words to her, ever, maybe not to anyone actually. He feels a little insane, a little itchy under the skin, mouth full of cotton, brain too, because they’re not supposed to be doing this, not really. The first time she’s seen the apartment, or, well, the doorway of the apartment, doesn’t really seem interested in stepping further inside, running her curled palm up and down the strap of her purse and right, not here for that. He shuts the door behind him and then they’re on their way to therapy because it’s four o’clock on Thursday and this is what they do now at four o’clock on Thursday.

“Thanks again. I didn’t think my car would still be in the shop today.”

“Oh of course, you said it’s a transmission leak?”

“Yeah, the bad, expensive kind that’s above my paygrade. Guy said they’re still waiting on a part for it.”

“Well I’m off work tomorrow if you need a ride anywhere.”

“Vicky’ll get pissed.”

“If she finds out. Are you gonna tell on me to Vicky?” It’s a joke, they can joke, right? She laughs a little on the end of her words to make it clear, hey, it’s a joke, awkward and out of touch and unsure of what the rules are. But he offers a breath of a laugh, at least, fine, it’s fine, they’re fine, and now they’re silent driving to Vicky’s office.

Should he ask her how her week has been? If the kitchen sink is still leaking? He’s not sure. Not sure about any of it, really. Every week, Vicky asks them how they think they’re doing and Cass doesn’t even hesitate. Good, she says. Not fine, not okay, but good, usually with a sure, terse nod. It takes him a little longer to find the right word to describe how he’s doing. Not sure about that either, but it’s definitely not good. Some things are better, sure, easier not to argue when under foot, easier not to remember all the ghosts they’ve built up around themselves. But at the most basic level, he misses her, even misses arguing with her, in a perpetual state of missing something, walking around and wondering if he left his wallet at home, or if he remembered to call a client about a new build, wondering if he’s missing something essential, a limb or an organ he didn’t know about. No, none of that. Missing something else.

“You’re not wearing your ring.” She flexes her left hand over the steering wheel in response, her very bare ring finger making him feel a quick pinch of something he’ll call anger, though it’s probably something else entirely.

“No, Vicky advised I try not wearing it during the separation.”

“Why the fuck would she tell you to do that?”

“Joel.”

“I’m just asking.”

“You’re swearing.”

“Well, why didn’t she say the same thing to me?”

“Maybe because I told her this is how you would react.”

“I think I’m having a pretty normal reaction to it, actually.”

“It’s not a big deal. It’s just for now.”

“Right.”

“It is.”

“Seems like a strange thing to advise someone to do when they’ve been married for nearly two decades.” She parks outside of the office complex that Vicky works in, lets out a long sigh through her nose and doesn’t spare him a glance as she reaches around to the backseat and pulls her purse up front, producing her ring from somewhere deep inside of it and sliding it back on her finger.

“There, are you happy now?”

“Why the hell were you keeping it in your purse?”

“Oh my god, really?”

“That’s a real easy way to lose it is all I’m saying.” The truth is, she’s been keeping it in her purse in order to have easy access to it. Like a pulsepoint, sometimes she just needs to know it’s there, reaching into her purse underneath her desk and yep, still there, still okay. Sometimes she doesn’t get through a whole day without putting it back on. Like reflex, like ghost limb aching. But she’s not about to tell him that.

“Do not bring this up with Vicky.”

“Why not?”

“Because then she’ll know we drove here together.”

“You’re that worried about what Vicky thinks?”

“She’s our therapist, I’m a healthy and appropriate amount worried about what Vicky thinks.”

“You know she’s not the arbiter of marriage just because she has a couple of degrees, right?”

“Really, the arbiter of marriage?”

“Are you doing that thing you do, is that what this is?”

“What thing?”

“Cass.”

“What thing?”

“Are you trying to win therapy?” Fuck him. No, really, fuck him. He’s doing that thing, his thing to her thing, half a smile in the passenger’s seat like he’s got her. Awful, of course he’s got her, smug and sure in his getting her. She doesn’t answer his question, knowing that her silence is an answer in and of itself and not really caring because they have therapy, damn it, and it’s going to be his fault if they’re late to therapy, damn it.

“You know, I’m starting to see why Vicky told us no carpooling to sessions.” Slammed shut, he sighs when she gets out of the car, thinking idly to himself that yes, he doesn’t necessarily disagree with that commandment of their therapist either. At the very least, Cass’ ring is still on her finger. He tried a few times in the past to get her something new, something nicer than the gold band he had given her when they were still young and still not able to afford much of anything, but sure enough in each other to want to keep doing it, all of it, together. No, she would tell him, doesn’t want anything other than the gold band. What she doesn’t know is that he pawned his grandfather’s watch and an electric saw for the ring the shop owner kept in a padlocked display case. Twenty-six years old, and looking back, he thinks he would have sold a whole lot more just to get it for her.

He used to call her pearl. Something about grit that would make her roll her eyes and ask him what late night National Geographic TV special he got that line from, all the while inwardly swooning because sure, she had been baby before, babe, an errant sweetheart even, but pearl was new, and tooth-decayingly sweet. And when he proposed, Sarah bouncing around them like a manic cupid, Cassandra made an ugly sound somewhere between a laugh and a cry, little black velvet box and a ring that was more signet than wedding, simple and gold and a single pearl set in the center of it. Her hands clasped, she runs the pad of her finger over her ring, wordless and worrying it on the elevator ride up to Vicky’s office.

Vicky has a thing for lamps and art prints of naked women. Her waiting room is a little dim, no windows, green velveteen loveseat and two high-backed wooden chairs that they always take when they get here, his eyes scanning over the coffee table laden with back-ordered Psychology Today magazines, headlines about overcoming anxiety and exercising your way out of depression. There had been one about postpartum depression somewhere in the pile the last time they came, but he had made a point of hanging back after Cass left, some excuse about checking an insurance thing with Vicky, though what he really did was pluck out that magazine and throw it away in the men’s restroom down the hall. One less thing to worry about, at the least.

“Hi, you two, come on back.” The sessions always start the same. Vicky asks them how they think the week went, and they both offer up some iteration of fine. Vicky asks them if they’ve been upholding their phase of separation, and she answers before Joel can, pointedly not looking at him, yes, no contact between sessions. But apparently, this week is going to be different.

“We are nearing the end of the total separation phase. After this initial period of cooling off for both of you, the real work can begin.” Right, phases, because Vicky works in phases like this is some sort of military siege. He tries not to roll his eyes at the real work beginning.

“Can either of you remember the last date you went on together?”

“It would’ve been in August, right before the separation.” Cass scoffs at his answer, tilt of her head like, really?

“Tommy and Maria’s baby shower hardly counts as a date. But we did go to dinner at the end of July.”

“I don’t think your work banquet counts either.” Vicky hits them with that look, that yeah, that’s what I thought look, all raised brow and scrunched nose and nodding. Not that she is, but if she, hypothetically, were trying to win therapy, Cassandra thinks she wouldn’t be doing a great job of it right now.

“Right, well, you’ve made my point for me. It’s not unusual for people who have been together for as long as you two have to let things like this fall to the wayside. However, it can be very helpful to reestablish some of these routines. Think of it as marriage maintenance.”

“So you want us to start going on dates again?”

“Yes, but not with each other.” Did she? Did he? Hear that right? Cass is nodding like it’s the most reasonable thing in the world, like, yes, of course, this is just the solution they’ve been looking for. This time, he doesn’t hold back a laugh.

“I’m sorry, what?” Both of them look at him like, yes, keep up, please, let us explain this to you very slowly so you can keep up, please. Something about seeing what life is like outside of their marriage, testing the waters, seeing if they still like the same things without their extra marital limb, something about making a decision about their marriage, though he tunes most of that part out because, no, thanks, no new decision has been needed since he got down on one knee during that trip to Galveston, sunscreen and sticky sweet and he’s not sure if he or Sarah was more excited, but he was definitely more nervous. And Cass said yes, and then he wasn’t nervous anymore, not scared anymore, and that’s all there was to it, is to it, right? Right.

“This is the closing exercise of the total separation phase. It’s really important that you both have this opportunity to see what it’s like to be back in the dating pool. Think of it as a trial run of if you decide to make this separation–”

“No, no thanks. That’s not– we’re not those people, so, you know, we can just move onto the next phase.”

“Joel.” The mom voice of all things, and he knows for certain now that Cass is trying to win therapy, nudging her shoe into the side of his, and, come on, really? She’s really bought that hard into what Vicky’s selling? Now that, that isn’t like her, at all.

“What feelings are coming up for you right now, Joel?” She fucking hates that question, and she imagines that he does too, fingers drumming on his knee, long sigh, and she knows that look, that’s his getting ready to bolt look. Big man, big, skittish man who has accidentally nailed his fingers to house frames and hardly shed a tear. But feelings? Yeah, forget it.

“Uh, I guess I’m confused as to why that is so important for us to do. We came here to help our– to help us, not to create more problems.”

“And you think that if you and Cassandra went on dates, one date, with other people, that it would create more problems in your marriage?” Well, it’s hardly rocket science, Vicky, though judging by the way she’s speaking to him, he’s pretty sure he failed some kind of test of hers. He doesn’t particularly care.

“I imagine it’d do that to anyone’s marriage.”

“It’s just one date, it’s a part of the process.” She’s starting to get pissed, and trying very hard not to show it in front of Vicky should she get the what feelings are coming up for you treatment. When they agreed to start going to therapy, like a pair of dogs gagging down a pill, they had both agreed to put their full effort into it, and if Vicky wasn’t in the room with them currently, Cassandra would sharply remind him of that agreement.

“Maybe I should clarify the expectations around this exercise. It’s one date, preferably with people outside of your shared social circle, and it would be best if the focus is just on the date, no sexual relations.”

“Oh really, you think that’d be best?”

“Joel.” He gives her a slack and slanted look, speaking two different languages, apparently. And really, she doesn’t see what the big deal is. One date versus sixteen years is pretty obvious math for her to square up, though it doesn’t seem to be for him. But, watching him engage in psychological tennis with Vicky, some new jab dripping in sarcasm for every reassurance she tries to offer him, the realization comes to Cassandra slowly, simply. Joel is scared.

By the time they leave Vicky’s office, he feels deflated, defeated, because yes, they are, apparently, going to do this fucking exercise that fucking Vicky has fucking assigned to them, scheduled in three weeks instead of one to give them time to do this fucking exercise that fucking Vicky has fucking assigned to them.

“Can’t we just, you know, say we did it but not actually do it?”

“Are you serious right now?” Judging by the look she gives him, a quick, sharp flicker of her eyes before she focuses back on the road, he thinks he probably shouldn’t say anything else. He shouldn’t, but, well.

“Is this about pleasing Vicky, or are you just that interested in dating someone else?”

“Don’t be a child about this, Joel. It’s a therapeutic–”

“It’s bullshit is what it is. I don’t– I already know what I want, and I don’t need to go testing the waters to be sure of it. What I’m not so sure about is if you can say the same.” She can’t put her finger on anything specific, probably just a slow-building amalgamation of things. Stressful week at work, and the leaking sink getting worse, and her doctor increasing a medication dosage that’s made her body feel like something other than her body, and this fucking therapy and this fucking trying and she’s trying so hard and she feels like she’s failing and when she glances at him he looks hurt, really hurt, a close crumple in his face, deep frown, and it frustrates her because all she’s trying to do is do it right, and all she gets is this constant rhythm of resistance, this push and pull and yes, it’s all of that, all of that creeping up her throat tight and hot and curling behind her eyes sending salt pinpricks and sharp pangs. When the first sob breaks, it does so as a gasp, like a small and stunned thing in her chest. And, well, it’s never uphill from there, is it?

“Do you– do we need to pull over?”

“No, I don’t need to fucking pull over. I’m not an invalid, I can cry and drive at the same time.” Except it doesn’t come out quite like that, not smooth like that. The words get stop-started with each new shudder, new stutter, hiccuping on fucking and invalid. The world has gone to slanted stained-glass through all her tears.

Unsure what to do, but that’s nothing new. He doesn’t say anything else, watches her through the wary side of his eye, sobs turning into something more subdued, little wounded sounds high in her throat, a choice fuck you with a little more bite behind it when someone cuts her off merging onto the highway. He feels useless, feels like, maybe, this is what Vicky should be talking with them about instead of her siege on marriage plan. All he knows is that he seems to get it wrong every time, so this time, he doesn’t interject or intervene, doesn’t say any more than he already has. He lets her cry, and he lets her drive.

He doesn’t know when it happened. When he decided he was going to fix things for her, or just fix her, really. His lady in pieces and he was going to put her back together, and it seemed like every time he tried to, she just shattered a little more. That April is the obvious answer, the most shattered he had ever seen her. But the fighting had started before then, and so had the fixing that wasn’t really fixing. Like a relief, like a release, the slow realization that no, it never worked, and no, it was never going to work. The sobs turn into shivers turn into something even smaller. By the time they pull up in front of his apartment complex, it has passed.

“I just– I want to do this right, this therapy thing, and I want it to work, and I want it to work so we can be okay again. That’s what I want.” The words hang between them. He makes no move to get out of the car, and she counts her inhales in the silence, waiting for him to say something, anything. It feels like a child’s logic, or maybe a hail Mary, and she knows it, feels a little insane saying it, the words fitting strangely in her mouth. The brief wondering comes to her, what would she have said about where they are now to her girlfriends, what snark, what sharp jokes at their expense? Him in an apartment and a fifteen minute drive separating them and a woman named Vicky unraveling (and in theory, putting back together) their marriage in phases, fucking phases, and fucking Vicky. She doesn’t want to go on a date with someone else, and she doesn’t know why she’s taking Vicky’s instructions as gospel. But she does know, doesn’t she? It’s not about Vicky, not about Vicky and her fucking phases. Fixing, being fixed, that’s what she wants.

“So, you’re saying you want us to date other people in order to fix our marriage.” Grateful that she takes it for the joke he meant it as, it’s just enough to slough off some of the tension, roll of her eyes, please. They both let out a sigh, too tired for much else. But maybe, he thinks, this counts as progress, sitting here with her in the car and the sun washing everything down burnt and orange. He watches her eyes drop shut for a moment, fine lines like porcelain fissures and he loves those lines, liked catching her in the bathroom with her face pressed up close to the mirror and her fingers pulling those lines taut around her eyes, her mouth. He’d pull her hands away from her face, ask her if she was planning her halloween costume for next year, earning a scoff and a roll of her eyes and her trying to pull away from him, and he wouldn’t let her. Making it better with kisses to those lines, and eventually, her pressing her fingers as light as prayers over his, an implicit wondering, where did the time go?

“Look, if it really makes you that uncomfortable, let’s just lie to Vicky. We could still get like, an A-minus in therapy if we leave just one thing out.”

“I didn’t realize therapy came with a grade.” He smiles, all soft, and she can’t help the sheepish bloom in her chest, rolling her lips back into her mouth to hide her own grin, eventually, reluctantly, admitting in a quiet, skewed to the side voice, okay, so maybe, maybe I was doing that thing, that winning thing. He doesn’t say anything, and that’s a mercy. Just nods, of course, and of course, he knew, maybe even before she did, and is that knowing not a mercy too? She thinks it is.

“I want to do this right too, Cass. And, I mean, we’re paying Vicky enough money that we should do what she tells us to.”

“Are you saying you want to do it then?”

“Want is a strong word.”

“Okay, are you saying you’re willing to do it?”

“It’s just the one?”

“Just the one.”

“Alright, fuck it, let’s do it. We better get a goddamn A-plus at the end of this.”

“Mmm, gold stars too.” Another sigh, another settling. How nice, another sigh, another settling. It’s a strange equation, but she thinks it still adds up. Neither of them want to do this, not really, but they’re willing to, and they’re willing to because of each other. Willing to try and get it right for each other. Just, well, ignore the finer details of what getting it right entails.

“You hear from Sarah lately?”

“On Monday, yeah. Called to wish me a happy birthday.”

“Well, only off by four days, not too bad.”

“Oh no, she called on Monday because she was, and I quote, too busy the rest of the week to call.”

“Wow.”

“Right?”

“Is it bad that sometimes I kinda hate it?”

“Hate what?”

“That she’s like, a fully-formed person now. I miss the days when she was a little blob who liked holding onto me by one of my belt loops.” He has to smile, nod, because he knows exactly what she means. And the truth of it is that Sarah was so good, maybe the best, if he’s allowed to give his completely biased opinion. And the other truth, Cass is, was, one of those people simply meant to be a parent, a mother. He remembers when they first started dating, and all the exhausting maneuvering he did, getting his parents or Tommy to watch Sarah, a string of canceled dinner plans when his kid couldn’t seem to stop catching things at daycare. He was sure that Cass would lose interest every time another piece of his reality was revealed to her. After all, he was not unfamiliar with being left behind. But that never happened, she stayed every time.

It was Cass who first suggested it. Didn't want to impose, but what if, maybe we could, would it be okay if, why don’t we. They went to the zoo that weekend, if he remembers correctly, Sarah in tow, shy at first around the woman she barely knew, though she bloomed over the course of the day. Yes, he thinks, it was the zoo, because he remembers how by the end of the day, Cass had her on her hip, as easy as anything, so she could get a better view of the rhinos. He knows now that, even in those earliest days, she loved his kid just as much as she loved him. He knows now what a gift that was, and continues to be.

“She’s gonna be alright, Cass. We did good with her.” She sighs, yeah, we did. She had been worried about telling her about the whole lieutenant-LMFT thing, the whole quasi-separation thing, but that was a direct command from Vicky, letting the family know what was going on. Sarah had taken it surprisingly well when she called, could be good, mom, like a reset. Of course, they kept the worst of it away from her, and of course, she still knew something had changed, something not right between them. No one was left unscathed after that April.

From the start, loving him included loving Sarah. It was never difficult for her to do both. Sweet girl, bright like the sun girl, rounded cheeks and bouncing curls, and Cassandra found that her love for her had a particular effect on her heart. Whenever small hand reached for one of hers, whenever small face tucked into her neck, whether tear-damp or milk-tired, and eventually, whenever she was given the name mom, like a stop and restart of her heart, like something turning back on inside her and finally working right. An everything kind of love, to not only be chosen by him, but to be chosen by her too.

“Well, anyways, Vicky didn’t make any stipulations about birthdays, so I have something for you.” Just a small thing, she says, leaning over the console and into the back seat, and he knows better than to say no, shouldn’t have, because there’s already a perfect package being placed in his hands, navy blue wrapping paper and a white bow, and her hand cups underneath his for just a moment, there and gone.

The truth is she had already picked out this gift two months ago, what feels like a lifetime before this separation. Now, watching him open it, she’s a little worried it had been presumptuous of her, if not completely narcissistic. But if he thinks that, he makes no show of it, lets out a quiet laugh as he takes the watch out of the box and holds it up in the fading light to look at it.

“It’s a little sappy, maybe. But, well, we have something that kinda matches now.” Something is unfurling in his chest, heat loosening something he didn’t even realize he had been tightening up around. It’s a beautiful watch, rich leather strap and polished silver. And the face of it catches and shimmers a little in the light. He knows right away that it’s mother of pearl.

Here, she says, let me, and he does, feeling a little indulgent watching her fasten the watch around his wrist, and definitely breaking one of fucking Vicky’s fucking rules when he ducks his head down and steals a kiss, another one, letting the third deepen just a little, both of them humming because missed this, missed this, didn’t realize how much, but missed this.

“Thank you, pearly.” It feels good to be so close to him, noses brushing and smiles curling around each other. Feels like a relief.

“Happy birthday, one day ahead. We could, you know, do something tomorrow? Get dinner maybe?” Before he can answer, say yes, she’s already caught herself, sheepish smile and pulling a little further away and oh, right. She says sorry, wasn’t thinking, and they do an awkward dance around the whole thing, right, yeah, probably shouldn’t, right, yeah. He is not a hateful man, and it would be too strong to say he’d wish Vicky harm. But if something were to happen, in theory, that’d make Vicky go the fuck away, in theory, he wouldn’t be too torn up about it.

“See you next Thursday then?”

“Well, next next Thursday, because we have to do the– yeah.”

“Right, yeah.” Right, yeah, this is the part where he gets out of the car. The part where he goes up to his apartment and she drives home and they don’t eat dinner together and they don’t brush their teeth together and they don’t go to sleep together. Right, yeah. They say goodnight. He’d like to say love, but he doesn’t. She’d like to say love, but she doesn’t. And they part ways.

She hates being in this house alone. Leaves all the lights on all hours of the day and checks all the locks three times before going upstairs to bed. Passes by the closed door that remains closed with her breath held. She knows it makes no sense, but she’s been sleeping in the guestroom, makes the whole thing a little easier. Always had a tendency toward insomnia, tossing and turning brain and body.

When they were just starting to get more serious, and she was just starting to stay over at his more often, she got worried that eventually it'd drive him mad enough for the whole thing to not be worth it, neither of them getting much sleep as they learned how to share a bed together. And she doesn't remember how it started exactly, maybe out of a moment of pure exasperation, him draping just enough of his weight over her to press slower breath into her lungs and still her body. It became a routine, she'd ask could you? And he'd already know what she was asking for without her having to say any more than that. What she also doesn't remember, when that stopped working, when she stopped asking, and he stopped answering. She supposes it all happened slowly, just like the rest of it.

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