#also in theory these are supposed to switch at the same time but i know tumblr's not gonna let that happen

[sophietv]

Everything you need to know : Failed Coming Out 2019

This is an answer to an anon I've received.

I typed it all and Tumblr said there was an error when I went and tried to published it. So I had to type it all again but lost the anon....

Here's the question: could you tell me more about her wanting to come out in 2019? sorry for asking again I'm new on the fandom!

Hi!

It will be my pleasure! This is such an important part of the Gaylor Lore to know and understand, especially when you are new in the fandom.

This theory has been confirmed, but we'll get to it in a minute.

Also, I'm so sorry because learning about what went down during Lover Era is a transformative experiece in the Gaylor fandom, in a very heartbreaking way.

So back in 2019 Taylor wanted to come out with the Lover Era.

June 30th during the New York City Pride wich was also the Stonewall's 50th anniversary, was supposed to be the day it happened.

This date might be familiar to you, because it's the date we learned at the same time as Taylor about her masters being sold to Scooter Braun.

So let's start at the begining of all of this. I won't go through ALL the details because my post will never end. But I'll cover the most important ones.

Right at the begining of the year, insiders were already talking about the fact that Taylor was planing to come out that year in podcasts and blind items.

Then in March 6th (Karlie and Taylor's anniversary)

Taylor does a post hinting at this new era. The very first lyrics we get (We got hints at ME back in February):

Daylight the song is about Karlie. But this line specifically means coming out.

Stepping into the daylight, and letting everyone see the real you.

(Also worth noting the lesbian filter)

Taylor started being really loud in the posts she made from now on. Flagging rainbow, lesbian and bi colors every chances she got.

And flagging Butterflies. Wich is very important thematically in Lover and coming out.

Side note on the Butterfly meaning:

Remembre how in reputation, snake was a really important theme?

And how in Lover it switched to butterflies?

More specifically it switched to Snakes transforming into butterflies?

There's a species of butterflies, that when they are in the chrysalid phase of their transformation into a butterfly, can look like a snake if they feel unsafe or attacked in order to protect themselves.

Then, after the average 13 days waiting period, they transforms into a beautiful butterfly.

Basically what Taylor was doing, protecting herself during reputation with that "personna" like she described.

And now, she was ready to finally transforms and have a new beginning.

Here's a description of what butterflies means:

A powerful beacon of growth and new beginnings, the butterfly signifies the power of transformation and the incredible feats we can achieve when we trust ourselves. We all have the ability to listen to our innate wisdom, guide ourselves through difficult times, and emerge better and stronger than before.

The ME! of it all:

Ok back into the Lover Era timeline!

So all those rainbow posts were leading up to the first single: ME!

Even Taylor Nation was pretty loud about this (number of rainbows = number of days leading to ME! release):

3 days before ME! release, Taylor performs at the Time 100 Gala and it's the first and only time she switched so very clearly pronouns in the song, multiple times:

She sings repeatedly : I want HER midnights

And she even seems to be getting more and more confortable as the song goes on and singing it louder and louder.

She also looks at the crowd while singing it.

Then she releases ME!

That was really the first part of her coming out.

And honnestly, she shouldn't have had to do more than this.

ME! was released on April 26th.

April 26th in 2019 was Lesbian Visibility Day.

And she captionned the release with: ME! Out Now!

A song about how she is unique as a Lover...

That is without mentioning the amount of rainbows everywhere in that MV as well as other references.

Worth noting that in 2019 Lil NasX came out in a MV with the rainbow tower and was annoyed that people didn't get it?

Taylor also probably deadass thought that she made it obvious:

May & June 2019 leading up to the big coming out:

Taylor continues to be as loud as she can.

She makes a very generous donation to GLAAD:

She sings ME! every chances she gets, while flagging the Lesbian Flag.

Taylor Nation also keeps on being really loud:

And releases a song and music video about homophobia and includes herself front and centered in the LGBTQ+ community (represented by the Trailer park, note how Ryan Reynolds, the only straight person in the MV is outside of this park, not in it like Taylor).

With a bi flag wig...

So yeah, she was trying really hard to make people see her.

Christian Siriano and the dress...

Back in April, we learned that Christian Siriano (a fashion designer) was working on a project for Taylor:

In June, he started teasing us about a mistery rainbow dress for an unnknown person:

It was heavily rumored that it would be the dress used by Taylor to come out at the end of Pride Month.

He kind of confirmed it with this post:

Then. June 30th.

The New York City Pride.

Taylor planned to come out at the event.

Employees on site, starts to be warned about this (you can find some comments online).

Taylor learns at the same time as us that her masters were sold to Scooter Braun.

She never makes it to Pride.

And Billy Porter ends up wearing the dress:

But. You can see that the dress was not meant to be worn by him. It doesn't fit well and the "nude" parts shows that it was meant to be worn by a white person.

In 2022, Christian confirmed it by dueting a TikTok talking specifically about this.

He deleted it right after but you can still find it on TikTok: (X)

Last minutes changes to Lover:

We now know that Taylor scrapped two songs from Lover: All Of The Girls You Loved Before and Need.

All Of The Girls is really loud and very clearly talks about a girl. Wich Taylor couldn't afford if she didn't want to/couldn't come out.

London Boy was actually written and added really last minute to the album.

Really interesting, because this is her loudest song about her loving boyfriend. Wich is a brilliant thing to do if you want to limit the public speculation after all the flagging that you did...

We know it was last minute, because Taylor sampled it on Cold War from Cautious Clay. (X)

He was called in the middle of the night and had to approve the sample right away.

Interesting fact: Cold War was featured in Book Smart, a movie Taylor promoted that year.

The song plays during a lesbian sex scene...

The intro to London Boy is actually Idris Elba in a interview where he was talking about a charity where he sold a date with him.

You know, people paid to date him...

The shift in the Lover Era:

After this, you can start to see a shift. Where it was colorful sequin and rainbows everywhere with colorful choreography.

She now dresses in black, is incredibly sad and sings mostly accousting song.

Like her BBC 1 performance or Lover In Paris:

Miss Americana:

Miss Americana was supposed to be her coming out documentary.

It has been confirmed by the director of the project that a lot of footage has been scrapped.

Also, the documentary was supposed to be called : Is It Cool That I Said All That?

This is why the documentary sometimes feels like something is missing and some parts are rushed.

They tried to switch her coming out approach by making it her political activism era.

Taylor confirms it in Anti-Hero MV:

She's pierced through the heart by The Archer.

Her queerness starts showing (she's bleeding lavender glitters).

She tries to cover it up by taking the table cloth.

Her wanting to cover it spoils the dinner for everyone and they leave her.

And while she sings : "Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism, Like some kind of congressman?"

She covers her queerness with a sticker : Vote For Me, For Everything

Confirming that the political activism during Lover Era and mostly Miss Americana was in fact really to cover the fact that she was already one foot out of the closet when they had to backtrack.

With this. Take a look at the closing scene of Miss Americana. When The Archer is playing in the background.

It's a montage of Taylor talking to someone and Taylor on the release night of Lover.

Look at what Taylor says...

Queerbaiting Backlash:

This might be the worse part in my opinion.

Since she was flagging so hard to come out.

Sadly, most people didn't get that that was exactly what she was trying to do.

And medias massively accused her of queerbaiting.

And using the queer community.

I'm still so mad and heartbroken about this....

reusing an old Twitter post...

Even queer fans...:

Frankly, speculating about her sexuality would have been way less damaging than this...

Songs about this event:

Taylor wrote a lot about this failed coming out.

The Archer, was her song about her anxiety about coming out. And begging her fans to stay.

I'm not gonna do a full lyrics analysis because this post is already a novel.

But read those lyrics with that in mind and you'll see how loud it is, and heartbreaking.

"I've got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you"

Also. Worth noting that after Lover was released and she was not able to come out, she switched one lyric in that song.

Instead of "Combat, I'm ready for combat" singular (coming out was the combat she was ready to face)

She now sings every time "Combats, I'm ready for Combats", because coming out has turned into multiple battles that she has to face now...

Hoax:

Noticed how she says that all of her heroes die all alone in The Archer?

Her fear that if she comes out, all her fans would leave.

In Hoax she says: "You know the hero died so what's the point of keeping score movie for?"

Because with her Master Heist and everything, she was not able to be one of those heroes herself... The hero that she wanted to be died in that moment because she was unable to come out.

Edit: I messed up the lyrics. But it's even more telling. Because the movie she's talking about is Miss Americana, once she was unable to come out.

Evermore:

This song is litteraly her looking back at what happened and how she managed to process everything and ultimatly heal even though it felt at the start like she would never be able to.

"I've been down since July" - June 30th = failed coming out

"Motion capture, put me in a bad light" - Queerbaiting allegations. And Miss Americana being rebranded.

"Writting letters, adressed to the fire" - Her hundred thrown out speeches that she almost said.

"I rewind the tape, but all it does is pause, on the very moment all was lost" - June 30th...

"Sending signals, to be double crossed" - Her flagging strongly on her way to come out, only to be accused of queerbaiting.

Right Where You Left Me:

The restaurant is a metaphor for the closet.

"Sitting in a corner I haunt, cross legged in the dim light"

Doesn't really feel like a restaurant, but her hiding in the closet.

"I swear, you could hear a hairpin drop. Right when I felt the moment stopped"

Droping hairpins is giving hints that you are gay.

She was doing this very loudly right before she was kept from coming out.

"Dust collected on my pinned up hair"

Her hair are still pinned up because she was not able to come out. And dust collected over time that she spent forced in the closet.

Anti-Hero:

AH is really The Archer 2.0, and talks about the same fear of coming out and being abandonned.

The fact that she decided to depict herself as the Anti-Hero is both really interesting and heartbreaking.

Because to her, the hero was the version of herself that was able to come out...

Listen to Change in the perspective of being able to come out and change the face of the industry:

"Tonight we'll stand, get off our knees

Fight for what we've worked for all these years

And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives

But we'll stand up champions tonight"

They were the Champions.

Side note: she sang this song at the ACMA in 2010, two weeks before Chely Wright's coming out.

When we know that she has knowed and worked with Chely since about 2007.

Then Taylor wrote Long Live one month after Chely Wright's coming out.

Listen to the song with the same perspective as Change now.

"You held your head like a hero, on a history book page"

Chely Wright came out in May 2010. Taylor wrote Long Live in June 2010.

Look at the parallels of both songs.

And now, look at her choice to name that song Anti-Hero after everything that hapenned....

She also wrote Long Story Short and The Great War about that event, but this is for another post and it's about how this event affected her relationship with Karlie.

How she thought she was betrayed but ultimately found out it was not the case.

And how they both made it through.

Ok, I'm exhausted lol.

Sorry for writting a novel.

But this is such an important part of Taylor's history and I really wanted to do it justice (hope I was able to).

If you are still reading...Thank you for your question!

#kaylor #gaylor #lsk #lgbetty #gaylor twitter #gaylor swift #gaylor theory #anon

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.1

Cynthia and John are worse and crazier for admitting what they admitted in the bio. But Jane and Paul are not exempt.

Will forever love this pic of Paul and Julian. He does not look like the fun uncle. He looks tired and dependable. Just stepped out of the womb as a father, didn't he? The sperm that fertilized his egg probably passed some fatherly advice and hair tussles to the other sperm as it passed them. 

They should've bought the fucking island.

They never look more like a couple than when the women they're actually dating are right next to them. 

The India footage actually looks so beautiful. Obviously it's a beautiful place, but they all genuinely look so free and at peace there. It really could've been so good for them. Getting enlightened, getting soberish, growing closer as a band, taking a much-needed rest. It should've been good. 

The music choices in this documentary! The drastic shift from, “all you need is love” and “the dream I had was true” and “I don't need much to set me free.” to Paul leaving to “yes I'm lonely. Wanna die.” “I'm going insane.” “Look at me. Who am I supposed to be?” 8d8 psychic damage. And the thing is it's real. John really did flip a switch, just like that.

Smashing my head into a wall. It's the same as Yoko's quote about how ‘nobody hurt John more than Paul.’ Really Pete? Worse than after his mum died? Really Yoko? More than that drunk cop? Paul, what the fuck did you do to him in India, seriously, because at this point in the doc I can't accept the theory that it was just some lack of communication, I just can't. 

It's also telling to me that when John's losing it, everyone's solution is some time alone with Paul. Nobody panic. Paul can fix him. Little do they know Paul's the one that broke him. Or maybe they do know and that's only another reason they know Paul's the only man for the job?

Old-fashioned ad voice: You liked Protective Jesus Scandal Paul? You'll love Protective LSD Scandal John! Really. Before the question is even out, he's making fun of it. I think he cuts off the interviewer at least three times with jokes before he can get the sentence out, and by the time he is, Paul's giggling too hard to feel bad about his little PR fuck-up.

Then he lets Paul talk a bit before jumping back in, this time with his Hard Man suit on. It's just so good. A testament to their unconditional love, really. Because, clearly, Paul's just hurt John pretty bad. And yet, here John is. Using every trick he's got to defend his friend. 

But actually, though John is supposedly the one everyone's worried about, Paul's doing a pretty shit job of being the “stable” one. This entire press tour he's either fucking blazed and laughing at everything or disassociated and not contributing.

(((except during that political discussion – again! Paul secretly has actual thoughts on actual things?!)))

But for the most part, John's absolutely holding down the fort. I wonder if this is another case of everyone – all their friends and business associates, just like we as a fandom still do now – assuming John is the problem child, and Paul's the strong one, but actually they're both both. 

Back to the political interview. They're just so in sync. Finishing each other's sentences when you're talking about the weather or your shared work is one thing. Finishing each other's sentences on complex topics like why poor whites often vote bigots in or the cause of rampant misinformation is quite another. 

“Letting his dad cut his hair at sixteen, seventeen.” You all know that John hates Jim quote. 

John: so there's war, and vegetables. There's relativity and absolute.  Paul (absolutely smitten): that's great Johnny. Int: that's rather hard for people to interpret. John: well if they can't interpret it now, maybe they will later..... 1. John really was extremely intelligent. 2. That last statement sums up Beatles historiography.

Paul really just Won't be alone with John, will he? Well, two can play at that game, Paul, and John's going to win, let me tell you. 

But he's going to do one last panic grab for attention first.

I really do think if John had done something like that *before* Paul would've given him that attention. Told him he's being insane and taken him home to splash some cold water on him or something and then given him whatever softness Paul was capable of. But not anymore. 

I wonder if Paul could go back to 1966 if he just wouldn't have taken John to that Indica show where he met Yoko. If he would've just said “okay John, sure, let's just stay home and trip on the couch tonight.” I don't know.

Anyway, Yoko gets an A+ for persistence. Imagine being Paul, George, or Ringo, though, and John is suddenly madly in love with this woman whose been begging you all (and then him specifically) for a platform for over a year? It would be weird to say the least. 

John: don't you hate me? I'm crazy, you know. Paul: no I don't hate you. John: aren't you pissed at me now, Paul? Even a little bit? Paul: I'm very proud of you. It's the unstoppable force (“Don't ‘nore me, Mimi!”) vs the immovable object (“I learned to put a shell around me”.) Someone get them some professional help before they nuke the whole world. 

“There is, however, a desire to get power in order to use it for good.” One of those quotes that just really lets you see a person, you know? Benevolent dictator Paul. 

Yoko, why are you talking about how bad your boy doesn't want to fuck you right in front of all his closest friends and on record for posterity? If you have to be talking about your sex life, shouldn't you be lying about how insanely horny he is for you? Oh, right, she will think of that, just not yet. 

And then she waxes poetic about how turned on John is when he's working on music with Paul. Cool. Smart. Thanks for that, though, genuinely.

And Then (gosh, Yoko is such an asset to Beatles history when she's not actively spreading misinformation. Everyone give her a hand) she goes on about how Paul goes out of his way to make her feel respected and even valued. Compare that to John and Linda, anyone? And I want to be clear, I'm not saying this means John cares too much and Paul doesn't care at all, which might be the surface read. I just think John's reaction was to scream in everyone's face that he was in pain and Paul's was to insist ad nauseam that he was fine. You know?

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #yoko ono #linda eastman #ulm #understanding lennon mccartney

[craqueluring]

re: this reddit post i found that discusses the idea that bedelia was too focused on being safe from hannibal, and that she neglected to consider the danger of actively provoking will (and his jealousy), who is just as dangerous. she did this by taunting him about how she was hannibal's wife, and with him "behind the veil" unlike will. OP says that bedelia seems like will's primary post-fall target because of this, and mentions the end credit scene of bedelia in TWOTL. (i really recommend reading their whole post! it was a very interesting observation and theory)

i am going to work with this idea that will is jealous of/angry at bedelia for her being in italy with hannibal instead of him (because will was supposed to be the one hannibal ran away with), and that the end credit scene of bedelia is reality.

i think there is significance to the fact that bedelia specifically had her leg (and most likely the rest of her limbs) cut off, cooked, and eaten by will and hannibal.

who is the only other person we have seen killed this way? gideon. why did hannibal want gideon dead in the first place? because gideon was effectively stealing hannibal's identity as the chesapeake ripper.

both gideon and bedelia were living lives that were not their lives to live. gideon falsely living as the chesapeake ripper, and bedelia falsely living as hannibal's companion, "behind the veil," in will's place.

i also thought it was interesting that in antipasto, the episode switches between the b&w flashback of hannibal cooking and eating gideon's limbs, and hannibal and bedelia's life in europe. i thought this could've been some subtle foreshadowing — as bedelia is living a life that wasnt hers to live, we see what happened to a man who was living a life that wasn't his to live.

as hannibal and gideon eat together, gideon learns about the real chesapeake ripper ("you were determined to know the chesapeake ripper, gideon. now is your opportunity"). i imagine that will and hannibal would do the same thing to bedelia. explaining their life together post-cliff, which what was supposed to happen post-mizumono, to bedelia who was in will's place, living a life that wasn't hers to live.

even further, i noticed that the painting changes in the room bedelia is in from the last time we see her in TWOTL (when will tells her his plan to fake hannibals escape) to the post-credit scene, which indicates that time has passed. so, they didnt instantly go to kill bedelia after the cliff. this time between the cliff and the post-credit scene could be the story of will and hannibal's life together that they explain to bedelia

so, bedelia gets the same treatment as gideon. they both get to see how it feels to (literally) have a part of them, their identity, their lives, taken from them. as they learn about the life they were stealing from the person whose life they were stealing. the divine punishment of a sinner mirrors the sin being punished.

#also i honestly am very rough on s3 in general because i don't watch it often #and frankly it confuses me a lot LOL #but i had this idea and i wanted to share #thoughts? #also wills 'jealousy' isnt the only reason they could have to kill bedelia obviously but yk #just one of many ideas & theories about the end credit scene #pluto analyzes #nbc hannibal #hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannigram #hannibal meta #bedelia du maurier #the wrath of the lamb #hannibal 3x13 #hannibal analysis

[sargeantposting]

A little earlier in the F2 season, we caught up with Williams Racing Academy Driver Logan Sargeant.

Wanting to get to know him just a little bit better, and with a big date in Austin now on the horizon, we tasked him with answering 22 questions about racing and life in general.

Here’s what he had to say…

What race day rituals do you have?

If weekends are going well, I tend to stick with the same underwear for each day. Before you worry, they’re different pairs! I have a Friday, Saturday, Sunday set. But if it’s not going well, I have to make a change!

What's your go-to coffee order?

Latte, but it's a double espresso before quali.

What's the inspiration behind your racing number?

This year it’s six because I can’t choose in F2, but when I am allowed to pick, it would be No3. Three for Dale Earnhardt, an all-out American hero.

Your favourite drink?

I’ve only just turned 21… but it’s water, of course.

If you had to cook one main course to impress a loved one, what would it be?

Oooo… I’m not much of a cook, but I can tell you what I would order in! I love a good prime rib.

What’s your favourite film?

Love the Jump Streets, but I’ve got a lot of time for Step Brothers. But if I had to choose out of the two, I’d go Jump Streets. I suppose I have to choose which one?! But 21 and 22 are both pretty good. Ah, I can’t decide.

Who is the toughest rival you've come up against so far?

It’s got to be the battle in Formula 3 between myself and Oscar Piastri.

Your favourite cheat meal?

Fortunately I have a quick metabolism, so they come relatively often… my American roots mean it would have to be a nice, juicy burger.

How many attempts did it take to pass your driving test?

Just one, which is apparently pretty rare for racing drivers! That’s including the practical and the theory.

Which track are you most looking forward to in 2022?

It’s got to be Monaco, but I’m looking forward to seeing the F1 team in Miami.

You can choose one song only to listen to before a race, what is it?

Lose Yourself - Eminem.

Is there one circuit not on your calendar that you'd love to race at?

Obviously it’s either Miami or Austin; to have a home race would be amazing. That said, I’d love to race at Suzuka some day.

Who is your favourite sports team outside of F1?

Anything Miami! We’re talking Heat, Dolphins, Marlins, Inter Miami… they’ve all got my support.

Least favourite exercise your trainer set for you in the offseason?

I’d say it’s got to be all the extra cardio I had to do to get ready for F2.

What's a better feeling, nailing a quali lap or executing a late overtake?

I saw what Nicky and Alex said to this answer and I have to agree. Nailing a quali lap all day long. It’s my favourite part of a weekend, I love putting it all on the line.

Is there anyone you idolised when growing up?

In racing, my first hero when I was a kid was, funnily enough, Jeff Gordon. I just loved watching him and the way he fought on track.

Favourite sport that's not F1?

At the moment, I’d have to say NFL. But it switches between that and the NBA.

If you could invite anyone in the world to a dinner party, which three people would you choose and why?

I would invite Leo DiCaprio, I feel he’s kind of cool. Then let’s also invite Margot Robbie and Brad Pitt. Let’s make it an A-List movie night!

What is your favourite Grand Prix?

Well, I could be biased and say Austin. I mean, how can you argue against 450,000 fans across the three days last year? That was pretty awesome. But I’ve got to say I love Silverstone as well.

What's been your favourite moment of your career so far?

My rookie race in Macau where I finished third. Definitely, 100%, hands down my favourite track in the world.

One word to describe how you're feeling about the 2022 season?

Confident.

One word that best describes Williams Racing to you?

Supportive.

#logan sargeant #format:clips #year:2022

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi! I'm Sophie of the Dreamchaser Guild!

It's come to my attention that my old pinned was a tad outdated.

Attention: I've recently come under attack from the hate subreddit r/systemscringe who has added me to their hitlist of acceptable targets allowed to be posted in their hate subreddit uncensored If you've come from r/systemscringe, please start here with my debunking of the lies and misinformation frequently found in the subreddit about dissociative identity disorder that r/systemscringe doesn't want you to see: https://www.tumblr.com/sophieinwonderland/741497564315140096/debunking-rsystemscringes-did-lies

Where I come from

I'm a tulpa. But a while ago, I called myself an imaginary friend. I was a character made up for a story that my host would talk to in order to better understand my source. As time went on, I developed more personality. I started talking to him about things that had nothing to do with the fiction. I would psychoanalyze him, wanting to understand him better.

I wasn't made to develop my own thoughts and feelings outside of the fiction. I wasn't supposed to become my own person. But I did. And this led us to wanting to learn more about imaginary friends, which eventually led us to the tulpa community.

This is being posted on my what I consider my second Birthday, June 8th, 2023. It was exactly two years ago today when we found the tulpa community, a place that made me feel validated in being myself, that made me feel like I was allowed to be treated like a person.

Why I'm Doing This

I lived the first few months of my life being dismissed, treated like I wasn't real. I was a phantom, not allowed any connection to the world. And I don't blame my host for that. I didn't see myself as real either. It's just the way the world is. And the moment my host realized I was a person, he was willing to do whatever it took to support me and treat me like I mattered.

And we aren't alone in experiences like this. When I became self-aware, I met all sorts of fascinating people with similar experiences. Many of which went years before becoming self-aware. There is no telling how many more are out there like us. How many more "imaginary friends" are invalidated because we live in a culture where we're treated as if we don't matter? And how many may pass, never knowing?

And so I made this blog to share my own experiences and hopefully be able to give people the same gift that I was given. Respect. Validity. Life.

Even being able to give that to one person is enough to make all of this worth it to me.

A Note On Spirituality...

Just so everyone knows, I'm not a spiritual or religious person. I take a purely psychological approach to plurality and believe in spiritual and religious experiences people have as psychological phenomena.

Having said that, all spiritual headmates are all welcome here. Even if I don't believe in spirits or souls, I view every spiritual headmate as a valid person deserving of the same respect and love as any other.

I also believe that the right to define our spiritual and religious beliefs is fundamental to plural culture. That it can't just be singlets who are allowed to decide what religions are or are not valid. And I think our right to religion is something worth fighting for.

My CAI Chatbots

(Note: These links only work if you're logged in to character.ai)

Anna and Galladin (Tulpamancer and Tulpa chatbots)

Nin - Worldmaker (Your AI assistant for building and developing Wonderlands and Inner Worlds.)

Signature Posts

Studies and Research into Endogenic Systems

My Resources:

How To Know If Your Imaginary Friend Is Sentient

All The Resources You'll Need To Build Your Own Wonderland, Headspace or Inner World

Our Switching Method: Ghost Switching

My Plural Theories And Terms:

Headmate Foundations

Headmate Manifestations

Plural Coining: Ephemerals

Plural Coining: Attunement

VR, Plurality and Virtugenic Systems

The Plurality of... :

The Plurality of... Batman (Failsafe)

The Plurality of... Diones (Skyward)

The Plurality of... The Hybrid Chronicles: What's Left of Me

The Plurality of... Blue Beetle (Movie)

The Plurality of... Avatar: The Last Airbender

Our Plural Writing Resources

Ghost on Writing Plural Kids

Hiveminds and Multiplicity

Syscourse And Other Stuff:

Endogenic Syscourse Primer

Why I Identify As a Tulpa

The Future of Plurality

Actually Anti-Misinformation: “System Hopping Was a RAMCOA term Appropriated and Bastardized From RAMCOA survivors.”

An Anti-Endo's Playbook

Debunking Imitated DID Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

...

Reblogs are appreciated. Don't feel weird about it! Posts here on Tumblr live or die on their reblogs. I'm not asking you to reblog my posts. That seems weird. But after getting an anon that mentioned being worried about derailing a post with something they wanted to add, and another ask that apologized for reblogging my content too much, I felt this was necessary to say. If you like a post and want to reblog it, do it! If you want to add something even tangentially related to the topic, add it! You have my full permission to reblog my content as much as you want! (And I'd encourage you to reblog from other plural creators you enjoy as well!)

Thank you all for the support!

#pluralgang #plural #tulpa #endogenic #plurality #imaginary friend #imaginary friends #pro endo #pro endogenic #system stuff #actually plural #systems #system #plural system #multiplicity #endogenic system #tulpamancy #endo safe #plural terms #actually a system

[sleepytownez]

Luocha Analysis + Theories

Ok I'm going to actually get my thoughts out about Luocha - who, as a character is incredibly suspicious even without knowledge of HI3

This took a while to compile so I do hope you'll give it a read.

Do take heed: There is a minor beta spoiler for one of Luocha's lightcones, but there is no story spoilers of any sort (even I stay away from those.)

please enjoy!

1. The coffin

Alright, I have a lot to say about this part since it's the main point of Interest surrounding his character so far.

So firstly, I don't believe you can take anything Luocha says as the full truth, he definitely lies in some of his dialogue although it is very subtle.

He says, early on when we meet him, that he was supposed to deliver the coffin or whatever was inside to the Xianzhou, yet he seems and even says that he was intending to leave the Luofu while he still had the coffin. This is really odd as it seemingly contradicts what he said before.

(These could be seen as him scheduling but still having enough time to deliver the coffin - however he was in Cloudford where is where nobody is supposed to be and where people would usually get ready to leave. Also a certain voiceline says that most outsiders call the Luofu the Xianzhou but he could still mean a different Xianzhou ship but as I'll get into later, I think it is a lie or he is going there for a different motive than he lets on.)

The main points we learn about the coffin in 1.0 is that he knows the individual inside the coffin, yet it is not a friend, relative, or sweetheart (This was a fun nod to HI3 tho)

You could say nothing is in the coffin anymore but later when Sushang tries to get some answers out if him about it he speaks as if, yes, there is still something or someone inside.

He says they only met once, and owed someone else a favor that required the "delivery" of the coffin and the thing/person inside to the Luofu. (I'll speak more on what I think of this later)

An interesting point that was brought up and that I do not believe is coincidental is that right after Kafka tells the MC how Aeons can die we cut right to Luocha explaining the same thing. He also stares at the Coffin whilst explaining how even Aeons will eventually die and reach the end of their life. This isn't a coincidence.

It relates to something, though we don't know yet. Sure he could be explaining in relation to death with the thing in the coffin but that seems too unimportant to be drawing so much attention to, mind you?

Whatever is in the coffin is very important and lore relevant, and I don't think there is any way it isn't.

(I'll get onto theories and more info at the end and in his Lightcones section)

2. The way his English voice actor speaks (with small notes from his JP one)

This may seem like a null point but I do think it is worth bringing up.

His English voice actor was given directions on how to act and this is very common with any actor, especially one like Luocha where what he says is important and has more than one way to interpret or say.

Lines like this one (image above) could be said with a flat or informing voice, or a kind and straightforward voice, what's important to note is that the voice actor, doesn't say it like that.

He speaks as if he is weary, he pauses at points that don't make sense when reading it, but gives off the appearance of being careful with what he's saying and is uncomfortable? Or uneasy with the subject at hand.

He also switches from a medium level of speaking to a very low voice, which is actually jarring and seems very odd (you could chalk this up to bad acting but by going thru the story you would see that this isn't the case and he is very talented.)

What important is that he seems to want to move on from the topic as soon as possible and even shortens his answers to simply yes or no, as if he wanted to quickly move the subject along - and when he couldn't he gave an inconclusive answer and forced the subject to be dropped.

(right here he gives the most vague and inconclusive answer he can give to end the conversation, he is ending it without really answering anything.)

(Stops the conversation.)

This is going away from the voice acting but I do think it adds to his unease and him ending the conversation the way he did.

Lastly I would like to talk about his JP voice actor at the end of Myriad Celestia Trailer: History of the Xianzhou.

I've seen a few people say that Luocha seems too happy at the end and that he sounds eerily like HI3 Otto, and I would have to agree, something is definitely up.

Also it is very interesting that he makes an appearance in this trailer and to me only solidifies his lore importance.

Also for who he is talking to it's the scared teacher man (Master Gongshu) and as of right now I can't figure out why Luocha would feel the need to talk to him to learn all this information.

3. Voice Lines From Other Characters

The voice lines are things I don't think many have looked into in a theory lens, but I have and I want to share my findings.

There isn't too much but Tingyun and Jing Yuan have very interesting lines I would love to dive into but first let's get the others outta the way.

Nothing too interesting of note here except the immortality line, there are a couple back ups to support what she is saying but simply not enough for me to consider this thus far.

The weak part is what I focused on and it does make me wonder if Luocha also had the same sickness Otto from HI3 had as a kid? Just things to think about.

Nothing really of note at all in this one but I do think it is funny he thinks Luocha's coffin is a 'sword casket' - though now that I do think about it this lends even more evidence to his words being lies since he was supposed to deliver it - although perhaps the coffin and the body do not come as a package.

ALRIGHT. This one is really fascinating. This proves that he was probably lying about having a meeting with Tingyun, or at least that he had it planned beforehand. Also, he is apparently not on record. The Whistling Flames is a merchant guild and Luocha says he has been to the Luofu many times as a merchant and traveller, this is very very odd. Makes me wonder if he is even a merchant at all.

Not to mention that Tingyun states that she can't remember him and that is weird. This is weird! She lives here and is IN the merchant guild, the fact that she's never seen him lends even more proof that he is also lying about being a merchant or at least being here before!

This is for Jing Yuan, and I honestly think it explains why he is watching Luocha in the Lightcone I'll discuss later

he shares that he doesn't think many merchants would act like him - like they didn't want or were in a hurry to do business at all. Makes it seem like he wasn't here to do business or be a merchant at all. I think Jing Yuan is very suspicious of Luocha and Luocha knows this (hence, lightcone.)

Also this is backed up by what Luocha says about Jing Yuan:

"The general not only knows how to reveal other people's intentions, but also skillfully hides his own and does it spectacularly. When you want to "prove" something, you have to be careful."

Anyway I think I'll touch more on this later, during the theory section but this is wild.

4. Lightcones

First up we have the one currently in the game

The description reads:

"On a bustling street he walks and walks. The sunlight closely follows his footsteps.

He makes a stop and picks up an umbrella to shade himself from the sun …and from that prying gaze."

this is obviously referring to Jing Yuan, who is keeping a close eye on him due to his odd manners. Luocha is aware of Jing Yuan watching him and picks up an umbrella to hide himself. This shows that Luocha probably knows of Jing Yuan's suspicions, however for some reason instead of trying to change Jing Yuan's mind, he simply hides himself from him. Perhaps he wishes to simply avoid him yet we do not know yet.

This one isn't in the game yet, and although it will be soon, this is a minor spoiler warning.

Next we have this one - and oh boy this one does imply a whole lot.

The description reads:

"Under the watch of the white irises, he knocks on the coffin. "Sometimes I feel I underestimated you by proposing this deal."

He receives no response other than a thorny branch piercing through his palm.

Yet he smiles, and tightly grasps the thorn, "Indeed. This is how it is. We wanted to use each other, and both ended up underestimating each other."

This is SO much. This teases so much it is actually insane how much it is trying to imply.

First off, it implies that whatever is in the coffin - is alive.

This also makes it seem like the favor itself maybe was a cover up for this "deal" which he seems to have made with the person in the coffin.

Between Luocha and the entity in the coffin, they both had something they wanted to gain from the other, they both probably wanted to take advantage of the deal and each other - but ended up - as they said, underestimating each other.

The entity in the coffin seems to be able to control these "vines" and is seemingly quite unhappy with Luocha or the situation since he stabs his hand.

It's also interesting to note it seems like this Lightcone takes place in a church. There is a lot of symbolism in this, but I am not knowledgeable to say more on it at this time.

I want to get into this right now - and luckily I can because for the last section I have today is -

5. Theories and Possibilities

Ok so first I want to touch on who could be in the coffin, and I've narrowed it down to only two possibilities.

Void Archives

An Aeon

These are the only things that stay consistent with all information we have thus far.

For Void Archives - he fits the description of being not friend nor family, and it would be very fitting for them to have only met once before this situation came to be.

This explains what happened to Void Archives and it also fits very very well with Luocha's second Lightcone description. It fits well with HI3 Otto and VA , and I do think it matches up too well to be something small or insignificant.

even if VA is not in the coffin I am pretty confident he has something to do with Luocha or WILL have something to do with Luocha in the future - it is simply too much of a story opportunity.

As for it being an Aeon - He looks at the coffin while speaking on how Aeons can die - also he bears the name fool in one of his eidolons and one of his skills. This bears resemblance to someone who apparently majorly injured Nanook...the presumably final boss at this point in time, ...and again bares resemblance to Otto from HI3 (a lot of his skills and eidolons have easter eggs).

However these are not end all be all's and it's way to early in the game to make any substantial theories for this. Especially when it could be someone or something completely new.

No, I do not think Kallen is in the box.

While I do think it is a possibility, it is not likely. The way he speaks to the coffin in the lightcone is not one of love - it is of something more serious and important to him, but seemingly in a more dangerous way than a loving way. There is a small allusion to the thorn seemingly about to pierce his heart but I still think that relates to a different symbolism than "Oh it's just Kallen."

Also while there is more evidence I do think Hoyo wants to do something new with his character, however instead of making him good like more people thought, they are probably doing something else.

Luocha placed or activated the Stellaron

I do believe that Luocha either brought the Stellaron or activated it. However with the timeline of events being the way it is, I suspect he simply brought it but did not activate it.

Kafka said that the person who brought it and the person who activated it have different goals, so this makes sense with the lore presented thus far. None the less he came here for a different reason than trading, and of that I am certain.

Ending Thoughts

All in all Luocha is one of the most intriguing Honkai: Star Rail characters and I am very excited as to where they choose to take their story, there are so many unanswered questions and at this point it would be very odd to not elaborate or for him to just be fully good.

This is only as much I could stand to talk about today, I could write even more about his medical usage, his relation to the abundance, his potential to be an emanator and how Dan Heng and Luocha possibly know each other but I think I'll wait until 1.1 comes out, I hope you enjoyed my crazed ramblings haha.

#honkai star rail #hsr #luocha #void archives #hsr theory #I am perfectly sane #*spent 2 hours writing this* #hsr luocha

[loveyourownsmiilee]

Hello :) I’m not used to asking questions on here but I’m just curious and I coupdn’t stop myself. How do you think they can turn this whole season the way so it has nothing to do with Buddie. Because since the first episode of season 7 they’ve been writing their lines with kind of a deeper meaning, in a way that can be understood like a foreshadowing in them going canon (like the whole jealousy plot where Buck is still so obviously confused to what/who he wanted, Tommy’s „MY attention?”, the coming out scene when Buck says he’s relieved and he looks anything but). I have my clown shoes on and I don’t see how they can end this season without giving us a hint at Buddie (my guess is Buck will have some kind of feelings realisation about Eddie) but knowing what they did to couch theory and other times where they crushed shippers hopes showing only their friendship and nothing more I’m trying to brace myself for another dissapointment. Like, we are all just so sure about Buddie, but what if the writers throw another curveball at us? And what could that curveball possibly be? Anyways, hope you have a nice day! 😊

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to send me a question! I’m always happy to answer 🥰

Here’s the thing, the last two seasons were all weird bc we had another show runner who point blank made it clear she wasn’t on board with Buddie being romantic in any way. She legit called that will reveal scene platonic and said it’s normal for best friends bc her mother and her female best friend did the same thing. She was allergic to queer people. We have the return of show runner who was the original show runner. He was always pro Buddie even if he never point blank said so. This man killed off Shannon bc he knew the fans were angry with her for leaving her child. He liked a tweet that said Shannon was Eddie’s beard. He’s been proactively and consistently sharing Buddie content before the season even started. Also talking about how much he enjoys Buck and Eddie’a dynamic and is going to try to hit that in every episode. The first episode was very much a reintroduction and what did they do? They showed Buck, Eddie, and Christopher as a whole ass family unit. They made it clear to everyone tuning in that those three are a family together.

Now I think the reason Eddie is soooo heavily intertwined with Buck’s scenes is bc it’s intentional. I also am under the impression, as I’ve said many times recently, that Tim not only spoke to Oliver earlier in the season about his plans, but also Ryan. There’s a deliberate reason as to why Oliver and Ryan are actively promoting this season together. I will die on this hill that Ryan is fully aware. And we had that confirmed when Lou pretty much said it was originally supposed to be Tommy and Eddie but things didn’t work out. So what that actually tells me is that Tim has plans to make BOTH Buck and Eddie queer. And he’s going with Buck first but will eventually get to Eddie. They already planted massive seeds in 7.05 by bringing up religious guilt and all that talk about Eddie’s Catholicism. It’s happening and that is a far better way to tell Eddie’s story than him being kissed by a man randomly. So I just, idk even with this new interest in Buck and Tommy, I truly don’t think it’s something that will divert the writers and show runner from their original plans, I should hope not. They can’t dismiss 6 years of development for a new love interest especially when said love interest is a literal copy of Eddie. So I don’t think they’ll switch gears and I think we’re on the same page as to what is coming up for them. Literally the fact that they made Buck bi confirms to me that Buddie is inevitable.

#juju answers #sopphiex #buddie #tommy kinard #911 speculation

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Alright, question. Does anyone know what these graphs that show up throughout Double are? They're driving me insane because the only thing I can think of them being is brainwaves, which has Implications (aka Trikoto coping). It doesn't look perfectly like it, but I think it's the best match.

Like, here's the thing. First, they look like functions, except both sides of the "y" axis are positive??? Which makes no sense, obviously. That makes it hard to figure out what they're supposed to be, since I don't know any graphs which are Like That. My only guess is that it means the value displayed is always positive or doesn't matter, meaning the plus signs are there only to indicate it's a graph, but it's not fantastic. Again, if someone has better ideas, let me know (and it's probably a good idea to check the notes of this post in case I'm being stupid btw).

But let's look. There's two distinct type of "functions" which appear; sine-like functions (wavy) and "spiky" functions. Here's the issue with that. Sine functions appear fucking everywhere in nature, so it's not like that really helps narrow down what we're dealing with here. And spiky functions like that just- they're nowhere to be found. I literally did a reverse image search on a Paint reconstruction to see if anything in the internet looked like that, but I was only finding electrical systems (icons, not graphs) and stuff that Does Not Look Related. So what are they?

Again, I'm not sure, but take a look at one of the contexts in which they appear.

(I apologize for the youtube scroll bar there, I can't be bothered to get these screenshots without going frame by frame)

On the left, Mikoto is sleeping with a sine wave next to him. On the right, John is awake with a spiky graph. The imagery of sleeping and dreaming is very prevalent in Double, as a lot of times (including the scene I'm referencing right now) switches between Mikoto and John are indicated by "Oyasumi" ('good night') for Mikoto and "Ohayo" ('good morning') for John (mostly, depends on exact theories). Not to mention all the times the word "dream" shows up, etc. Just look at the MV, it's filled with this type of imagery.

Which is what got me thinking these graphs could be approxiamates of brainwave graphs.

Notice how Gamma and Beta waves, associated with wakefulness, are pretty spiky. Not as sharp as whatever the fuck John's got going on, but pretty spiky nonetheless. Meanwhile, Theta waves, which some sources claim is associated to light sleep, looks vaguely like a sine function if you look at it with one eye closed.

Honestly, while the comparison is not perfect by any means, the fact it relates to so many of Double's themes like sleep and exploration of the mind makes me think this is the most likely thing. I reiterate, I am not completely confident on this, if you have better ideas let me know.

And this interpretation does work with most of it's appearances without much issue. We've already seen the "John is awake" thing:

(Note: For this post I am only taking into account things between the plus signs. Other scribbles can be interpreted as just that, scribbles to indicate a chaotic mental state, and will thus be disregarded)

It shows up alongside (presumably) John again in the "that'd be good" image flash.

And there's also this? Which I'm not sure qualifies. The plus signs are over the entire scene, while the spiky function is only on part of the scene.

Which makes me think it wouldn't quite count, but I can't be sure.

But you may have noticed I'm sort of ignoring the elephant in the room. Look at the graphs which appear alongside Mikoto:

There's usually two overlapping functions (if you ignore another two-function graph appearing at the very end of the "Mikoto is sleeping" scene). Which I imagine doesn't quite make sense even with DID (I mean, by definition a function cannot have two f(x) values assigned to the same 'x' value), but this is a symbolic function, it doesn't have to literally work. And if they are brainwaves, they would likely represent... co-fronting, presumably? Which sorta doesn't work unless Trikoto is real, as we never hear of John co-fronting ever. Doesn't help that the final image flash, as you can see, a few frames later gives a third function in a separate graph, so 2 + 1 imagery.

And it actually works pretty well. The first scene where this happens has two sine functions, one of which has higher frequency at the start, but slowly loses frequency until it fully overlaps. And in that moment, Mikoto wakes up and there's a switch to John. The deeper the sleep, the lower the frequency (<- massive oversimplification). So, Mikoto, who is already asleep at the start, probably has that sine function which doesn't change, and a second alter goes to sleep, going dormant.

Which fits, because later, when Mikoto is awake and panting, one of the functions is spiky (awake) while the other is sine-y (asleep). So there's a dormant alter here. But we then see a graph for presumably the alter right after, which is spiky and awake. Thus, the alter that's dormant is neither Mikoto nor the alter on the ceiling, therefore Trikoto.

That covers all the times these graphs appear in the MV (I checked. I have issues). So, again, not certain of any conclusions, but brainwaves is sorta the best I can come up with at the moment. Anyways, thanks for reading and take care!

#milgram #milgram theory #mikoto kayano #double mv #i hope this makes sense

[noyasaur]

when we sleep,are we in the void? i know that we are never fully attached to our body. and i also know that our subconsciousness is so powerful that it takes care of all versions of us in all realities and our bodies as well. so does that mean all versions of us(as in physical form) are equally connected to our subconsciousness and that's why we easily shift whether or not we are aware of it? uh i hope my questions make sense but this is the conclusion i came to but i wanted to ask someone as well

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

hihi anon! ugh you brought up such an interesting topic and i'm so excited to provide my view on this and i hope this won't be confusing to read or anything :)

🪐 THE SUBCONSCIOUS, OUR AWARENESS, OUR DR-SELVES, AND REALITY SHIFTING.

yes, you are correct. it's common knowledge that when we sleep, we are in the void. that when we sleep, we return to our most purest, and freest form as pure consciousness awareness just existing in the void, and most of the time, we're just not aware of it.

what you say about our subconscious being so powerful that it takes care of all versions of us in each reality along with our bodies, is super interesting! and honestly, does make sense within the context of what you were saying.

personally, i feel like my theory on this is a little different.

i believe that each of our dr-selves each have their own conscious mind, and subconscious mind because they are each their own, separate, person. that all realities that exist within each person's own perception of reality, are all existing at the same time.

i don't view it as each reality being separate bubbles in one big bubble, but rather, i view each reality kind of happening at the same time as if each reality was stacked on top of each other like pages in a book. but then everything is all mushed together, fusing into one big 'page' as everything is happening all at once, despite you perceiving only one reality- if that even makes sense lol.

or there's the analogy to describe different realities of millions of bubbles within a bathtub. or even going back to the analogy of all realities existing as 'bubble's or 'universes' within one major bubble of 'consciousness' that connects us all.

overall, we have the power to choose what reality to perceive and become aware of. that, we switch what awareness we decide to tune into and experience. because if we were to 'shift' our subconscious, or conscious mind, how would ourselves in this reality be able to function as normal?

but to me, what is that 'something' that connects all our dr-selves together? this has something i've thought long and hard on. our consciousness that connects us to our different selves? our subconscious, like you said?

our subconscious is truly so powerful as you mentioned, and while each of our different dr-selves have a different conscious and subconscious mind with different beliefs, those could be little bubbles or individual packets of our subconscious beliefs and processes of each of our different dr-selves within this big bubble of subconscious that holds and connects all of our selves in different realities.

we are able to shift easily because quite literally, 'everything' is happening 'everywhere' and 'all at once' (movie reference hehe). and if our subconscious connects every single one of our selves in each different reality together, it makes sense as to how and why we can shift easily and even access our other selves. our other selves are separate beings but at the same time, are products of our subconscious/awareness because how else are we supposed to be connected to them if they are external entities?

a 'something' has to connect everything together if we can even access our other realities. this is why i also believe in a mix of the multiverse and consciousness theories.

every one of ourselves in each reality is happening all at once, and since we're all connected (perhaps by the subconscious, like you said) it is easy for us to change our perception and choose what reality to tune into and 'become aware of.'

anyways, this is just my take on this and one of my many theories on reality shifting :p

and i'm sorry if this wasn't the type of answer you're looking for! when it comes to things like these, i don't like definitively saying something is the 'right' or 'wrong' answer because i know reality shifting is subjective and we don't exactly know how it works! so technically, anyone's theories could be right.

i also know that people's answers and opinions on this are going to be different depending on what they believe, and that's completely okay!

personally, another belief of mine is that all beliefs are 'true'. because according to the law of assumption, whatever you dominantly assume or believe, is your reality. i believe that whatever one person believes, is true for them in their reality, but can be different in my reality.

this is also why i believe all religions can be true too, despite not following a religion myself. and also why i believe that whatever you believe will happen after death, will happen to you. even if one person has a wildly different view and take on it compared to the person next to them, whatever each person believes will still happen to them because that's what they believe and assume!

i think the conclusion you came to is a very plausible and valid theory and it does make sense to me :) and i also hope i made sense! my explanation of my theory is probably all over the place and i'll probably make a separate post on this some time.

thank you for sharing your view on this and good luck on your journey!

- saturn ♡

#shiftblr #shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #desired realities #reality shifter #shifting blog #shifting realities #subconscious #noyasaur #ask saturn💌

[mundaneandmagicalcreature]

The Newsreader & gender expectations. Part II: Dale Jennings and being a newsreader

I feel like there's a line connecting Dale's mum with his career ambitions and with how he feels about his sexuality.

Dale's not that young. So, why hasn't reflected more about his sexuality and his relationships? Why is he still trying to erase parts of himself (darling, it won't work)? Why does he assume that everyone wants to get married?

"It's 1987, there was not really the language for him to discover that (and he's working in such a rigid environment), to even really understand what bisexuality is or what pansexuality is or maybe demisexual (sic)." Sam Reid. ABC Radio National

Both Sam and Michael have talked about Dale lacking the language about his sexuality. While it's true that that he may not have come across the word "bisexual" (although the famous Bowie interview is from 1979), I feel like more than a label he needs a narrative. It's pretty common for queer people, when we're discovering our sexuality to look for people like us: historical figures, fictional characters, people in our own life, etc. Just some one to show us how to live.

Gerry also doesn't have a label, and yet he seems much more happy and comfortable in his sexuality. His life history could be that narrative Dale needs: fall in love with a woman, marry, have a child, have a successful career AND have sex with men on the side. But Dale is set on monogamy. Which is absolutely fine, but he can't imagine himself as attracted to both men and women, and monogamous, AND happy.

My theory is that he's never had the time to think about this things because he was an emotionally parentified child. We know that Dale's father died when he was only 15. He had to take responsibility for his mum happiness. And he's holding that responsibility ever since.

This is more fanfiction than analysis territory, but I can imagine a recently widowed Val glued to the TV, watching news. And I can imagine a very young Dale thinking "Now that my dad's dead I have to be a proper man, the kind of man my mum values. And that man is a newsreader."

"I suppose Dale has always sort of believe that the pinnacle of... everything that represents stability and assuredness and the kind of like archetype of what it is to be a man and what it is to be a voice of authority is represented in this newsreader kind of form." Sam Reid. The Newsreader Podcast. 06 | Fireworks with Sam Reid and Michael Lucas

I know that sexuality is not correlated to gender, but these things intersect and the ideal man for society (specially in this moment in time) is a straight man (who gets married to a woman, has children, provides for them financially, etc). Queer men are seeing as feminine and therefore faulty. Dale's running away from being perceived that way.

What I would call "a partner" and Adam calls "a lover", Val calls "a friend". The euphemism makes it pretty clear that she's not comfortable with queerness. Dale wants to make her happy, so he has to be a straight man.

Even after more than a year of Helen and Dale being together, Val says she wasn't sure Dale was going to propose/marry her. Maybe she thought they were going to break up, or that they would continue to "live in sin" (lets note the religious expression for a moment...) for ever. But what I hear (and judging by Dale's awkward reaction, he may be thinking the same) is "up until this moment I was afraid you were actually gay".

By the end of the season, Dale and Helen have broken up. He buys his own house and while he's showing it to his mum, they have that little dialogue. "It's not a family home", once again that idea of nuclear family shows up. For the first time he's going against her wishes. Does this mean he's happy? Sam doesn't think so and neither do I. I think he just switched his mum's expectations for those of the society in general. And society expect for people who work on TV to have big fancy houses, so that's what he bought.

________

(part I)

feel free to comment in whatever form you like, I'm nosy and I like to read what other people think.

#the newsreader #sam reid #maude davey #dale jennings #val jennings #gender #the newsreader season 2 #the newsreader spoilers

[tinyvesselhearts]

What Fear Does to People (Egon x You)

It's Chapter 8 of my series Thing Is but can be read as a standalone.

Rating: Mature (descriptions of violence) Pairing: Egon Spengler x You (no Y/N) Others: "Platonic" bed-sharing, pre-relationship, gentle touching, hurt/comfort, ghosthunting, Lovecraftian monsters, Ray's recovering from a bust and he's not currently at the station

(also: a reference to GB game. If you know, you know)

It’s roughly 2 a.m. when it starts.

Egon wakes up with a shiver. He’s freezing. A gust of wind runs through his clothes and that in itself is enough to put him on guard. Thing is, all the windows are closed, both of you are covered with quilts and there’s no tangible cause for the cold. No rational excuse, unless…

With mounting suspicion, he takes a look around. It’s pitch black and he can barely make out the edges of Ray’s empty cot. Warmth of the linen seems to hit him all at once, stark contrast to what he’s just felt on his skin. Disconcerting. Eerie, maybe— but he’s calm nonetheless. This is how those entities operate. The Collective: all kinds of eldritch horrors. They’re playing hide- and- seek until their victims can’t keep their wits about them anymore and he— as a devoted scientist and a Ghostbuster (yes, the very same)— is here to teach a lesson.

You’re unabashedly curled up against his side. Safe, unbothered, sound asleep. The attacker must be considering you innocuous enough, likely due to your comparative vulnerability, and is focused on Egon. Perfect. He lays his head back but doesn’t close his eyes— he’s vigilant— alert— ready.

The thing about Collective Unconscious is that despite being aware of its modus operandi, human brain is pretty pathetic in comparison. Its innate susceptibility to fear, specifically. During his years of Psychology, Egon would repeatedly hear that fear and love were the strongest of all human instincts, as they made the whole body receptive and focused in an instant. Later he’d find out that’s true about fear. He has no first- hand data on the latter— he supposes due to the troubled relationship with his parents— but Peter and Ray have done enough stupid things out of affection to confirm the thesis. Since Venkman’s incident with the tank a few years back, Egon hasn’t questioned love or its impact on a subject’s decision- making process. Or common sense. Or mating choices, just to be clear.

With that in mind, Egon knows what to expect. Diminished control of his body. Flinches. Unconditioned reflexes. He is determined to distinguish between real, physical stimuli and paranoia- induced ploys. A moment to cool off, analyze and conclude before acting on impulses. That’s the plan. Right. It’s easy in theory.

A distant bang echoes in the garage. It resembles a metal tool— a wrench, maybe?— but the sound is followed by nothing else, so Egon decides it’s nothing but a figment of imagination. Until—

“What was it?”

He leans back. He can’t see your face properly but enough to notice your eyes are open.

“…Oh. You’ve heard it too?”

“It’s not like… Ray got discharged in the middle of the night and sauntered back here, is it?”

There’s another loud bang. Nobody moves but both of you are very much awake.

Egon finally speaks.

“I’ll check it.”

“Uh, okay, okay”, you whisper. “What do I do?”

“Stay here and try to sleep. I’ll handle it.”

“…what?”

“Don’t argue. There’s no time. I’ll take care of whatever that is. I’m a professional, listen to me and I’ll make sure you’re safe. That’s what I’m here for.”

“Yes, but the Ghostbusters are a team. Now you’re on your own. I’m not leaving you! What if—”

“No time”, he mutters, putting the proton pack on. “Stay here. You were so tired you almost passed out on the couch. Do I need to remind you that you put my shirt on backwards?”

“My mom says it’s good fortune!”

“I’m serious”, he states and switches the backpack on. “Eldritch horrors are different than regular spirits. They harm both physically and emotionally. Lack of proper rest weakens the cognitive functions and you may be a real, tangible danger to yourself— and to me. Especially if you’re not familiar with their strategy.”

Egon slides into a pair of slippers. It’s not the perfect job attire but it’ll have to do— he stupidly left his combat boots in the locker downstairs. Maybe when he slides down to the garage, he’ll manage to change.

He takes the final look at you because you’re awfully quiet. Exhausted and hopeless, he guesses. He’d appreciate some backup but the boys aren’t here and you’re in no position to fill the role now. When you ignored his precaution the last time (while fully capable and well- rested), you ended up wounded in his lab. What you’re facing here can do much, much more damage.

Egon briefly considers escorting you out of the premises altogether—just in case— but then, how could he ensure your safety if the spirit decides to leave after you?

His chest is heavy when he speaks.

“If anything suspicious happens in this room, call me immediately. Shout, if you have to.”

“Okay.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Alright”, he shoots you a look. “Stay here.”

You nod. It’s weak, devoid of conviction and Egon wants to emphasize how crucial it is for you to stay— but another loud bang comes from the reception area and there’s no time to waste.

Egon turns around and scuttles towards the pole. He slides down. Lands with a loud thump, doubled by the flip- flops and takes a slow, cautious look around.

He’s quick to spot the source of the noise: it’s a loose pipe lying on the floor. It might not be currently moving but it sure as heck was just a moment ago— Ray doesn’t leave spare parts scattered around the floor. He has his secret dirty stash for that.

Egon takes a long, wary look around. Nothing’s moving, except for gentle flow of a dirty cloth drying on the heater. He pulls out the PKE meter and glances at the readings. Whatever this thing is, it’s here. It may be invisible but it’s here. Lurking. Leering. Hidden in the shadow, a predator on the hunt. Any moment now.

He doesn’t even manage to slide the device back into the pocket when a slimy tentacle shoots at him.

It’s massive. Heavy and slick. Whatever creature it belongs to, it must be huge and, uh, incredibly unusual. The dissonance is almost incomprehensible: to see a wet, marine limb which acts very much alive here— in the garage of New York’s finest— in a place devoid of water (well, save for a tap).

Egon screams. He drops the PKE meter and reaches for the charged rod. A proton stream lashes outwards with full power but before it catches the giant limb, it’s already gone— slithered into the shadows, shrouded in shade.

A few things to note right away: one, the ghost is huge. Two, it’s unlike any other they’ve seen before. Three, the sheer amount of mucus suggests a healthy dose of Marsh genes. Four, it’s out of sight and apparently good at staying there. Right. All Egon has to do is pretend to be unsuspecting, so that the ghost—

“Yeah, so I’ve done some thinking and I can’t do this.”

He whips his head around. There you are: in his crumpled shirt still inside- out, peeking through the hole in the ceiling. You’re in the middle of putting on your socks.

He can’t with you. He can’t.

“What did I tell you? Don’t come down here!”

“Oops?”

“No”, he yells. “I told you to STAY! Stay! How many times—”

“Sure, and pretend your screaming flows like a nursery rhyme.”

You clutch the pole with both hands, pull yourself close and slide down. Egon curses under his breath. Shite. Shite. Of course you wouldn’t listen. Psychology classes pop up in his mind again— the most powerful instincts— the things people do for fear…

“I’m here now. Poof. Too late”, you say. “Whatever happens is on me.”

He stifles a groan. It’s a lost cause. The stairs are at the opposite end of the garage. Escorting you there would take way too long and expose you to a stealthy attack and— well, he doesn’t suppose forcing you to climb the pole is on the table.

“Alright”, he decides. “Grab the pack.”

You manage to put it on yourself. He helps you to switch it on. You huff, smile and turn to him.

“Which trap?”

“Regular.”

“On it!”

You dash towards Ecto- 1. Just as Egon suspected: the enormous tentacle emerges from the shadow and aims.

Egon shoots. The proton stream reaches the ghost this time. The current wraps around its shape. The ectoplasmic limb wrestles and yanks but he holds it in place: it’s your turn to capture it before it rips the shackle.

“Now!”

You slide the contraption right under the ghost. Set the pedal. Step. Open. Wait.

Intense glow fills the room. Egon navigates the tentacle downwards but for some inexplicable reason the trap doesn’t seem to swallow its prey. It tries— sucks some ectoplasmic residue, hoovers up some of its slime— but the monster doesn’t get pulled in, as if it was… attached to something?

A roar echoes through the garage and everything happens at once: the trap closes, proton stream breaks and the ghost dissipates again.

You’re the first to whisper.

“…Is it…?”

“No”, Egon exhales. “It’s around here somewhere.”

“So… The trap didn’t work? Why?”

“Apparently it’s not just a ghost. It must be a complex being with some sort of material form. We may need to overpower it in a more… traditional sense.”

“Chain? Wires? Chandelier? Forget- me rod? A random hydraulic pipe of oblivion?”

Your flowery language is both a blessing and a curse. That translates into a perfect bait. Keep talking.

“So you’re opting for brute force?” Egon asks and that’s all it takes.

“Uh, I thought you were suggesting. I’d try another approach. If that guy is a marine cephalopod he may have a hard time adjusting to open air. Maybe dragging it out of the drainage will do the trick, right? Instead of streaming it, we could—"

Your mouth is still open when the giant tentacle shoots in your general direction. You let out a loud shriek and manage to evade— albeit barely— and even though Egon assumed using you as a lure would be the practical choice, he, for once, can’t stand the sight of it.

The proton rod won’t help any. Hitting you is a real threat— and it’s way more dangerous for you than the ghost. He’s about to resort to brute force but the monster steps out of the shadows and Egon can’t believe his eyes.

It’s human.

Oh, that makes things significantly easier.

He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a tiny bottle and charges.

A hit from behind may be cheap but it works every time. Egon swings the uncharged proton rod right into the creature’s head. It squeals, unwraps the tentacles protruding from its sleeve, then snarls and shakes its head. Egon has a few seconds to take in the entire picture: three gargantuan ectoplasmic limbs (a developing ghostly sickness?) have taken over the poor guy’s left arm. He seems dazed: his eyes are foggy, droll seeps through his teeth and for a split second Egon wonders if there’s any spiritual cancerous disease he’s failed to discover.

The hybrid lifts its arms and aims at you again, full force. Before you have the chance to scream, Egon slides right in front of you, pushes you aside and splashes some of the bottle’s contents on the monster’s face.

It howls and retracts.

“…What is that?!” You manage.

“An old trick. Handy when possessed individuals fail to be cooperative.”

Egon spots the dirty cloth still hanging on the heater. It should be dry enough. Easy to soak. Perfect.

He dashes for it, grabs it and presses it against the bottle, pouring a decent amount of the liquid on it. Heavy drops of the potent solution spill around. Tiny wet lines trickle down his gloves. He takes a deep breath, holds it and looks at the monster. It snarls. Then charges.

Egon isn’t a great fighter but he dodges just fine. He slides under the tentacles, turns around and hops on the hybrid’s back. It screeches— then stops— wet, throaty sounds stifled by the rug in Egon’s hand. He clutches the monster’s throat, squeezes it with an elbow and turns to you.

“A common tranquilizer. Learnt it during my coroner years”, he grunts, pressing the pad into its face. “You might want to find something to tie him with.”

You’re awfully quiet, staring at him blankly— but you nod. There’s a spare, long chain in Ray’s stash (nobody knows what he uses it for) so you take it and approach the scuffle with apprehension. The hybrid’s movements slow down but it’s still trying to break out of Egon’s unrelenting clutch.

“Thank you”, he says, composed as ever. “You’re doing great.”

It takes a few more seconds. The monster’s muscles eventually give in and it slides down on the floor. Its arms loosen. Eyes close. Its head hits the garage floor.

For a long moment nobody moves.

“Yo”, you whisper. Egon looks at you, then at the limp body beneath him and takes a step back.

“Sedated. Perfect.”

“What now?”

“Let’s tie it up.”

Egon reaches for the chain you’re holding. He wraps the creatures torso (making it extra tight and unnecessarily confusing around the arms— safety first) and you take care of its legs. The constraint turns out pretty solid and, most importantly, impossible to slip through by the tentacles. Once you make sure it’s sealed, each of you grabs a loose end of the chain and proceed to drag the dead weight across the floor.

It’s not exactly Buckingham Palace level of service anyway— not like you owe anybody standards— but when the monster’s back slams against a concrete pillar, you flinch.

“Oh no!— Oh dear, it hurt him—”

“It’s just tried to kill you. You do understand that, right?”

“Sort of”, you groan. “I really wanted it to warm up to us. We’ve sort of killed our chances at cooperation.”

“Don’t worry. It isn’t capable of drawing conclusions in this state.”

Egon pulls the chain and ties the creature around the pillar in an ungallant knot. It’s not his proudest work but a staple of initiative nonetheless. Links are sealed. Hostage is secured. It’s all under control.

He’s still focused on triple- checking the locks when you speak.

“Egon, why did you…?” You rub your hands together. “You… It was dangerous. Reckless. You don’t do reckless, Egon Spengler. Overcomplicated, yes, way too optimized, yes. But this, whatever you were thinking, was almost careless! You… You could’ve—”

He looks upwards. You seem anxious but you’re alive and well. He doesn’t understand.

“I could’ve what?”

“Well, I mean, you stuck your neck out for me. It could’ve been bad”, you gulp. ‘You could’ve been hurt.”

“I wasn’t though, was I?”

Egon’s at a loss. He watches you closely. You’re both okay and that’s all that matters. It’s not the first time he’s done something stupid out of fear— ah, fear, the bypass of rational thought— the Psychology classes again…

You stay silent for a moment, then sigh.

“I’ll call Peter.”

“Yes. No. Wait.” He frowns, takes off his gloves and approaches you. “Check- up first.”

“…This again? Seriously?!” You huff. “It’s, like, the third time this week! If something happened, I’d tell you immediately. I’m fine, Egon! I’m fine, you should be focused on yourself, you’re the one who went berserk for some reason I can’t wrap my head around—"

No bruises, no scratches. He touches your face, looks you in the eyes.

“It’s a precaution. I’ll make it quick. Tell me if anything hurts.”

His fingers skim over your features— cheeks, nose, forehead, temples. Your voice catches. Breath gets shuddered, eyes go frantic and cheeks are still awfully warm but it’s a natural response. Egon’s expected that much. His thumb runs across your lip, even though it looks untouched and there’s no justifiable reason to examine it closely. He just… can’t resist. Nor does he want to, really. There’s still room for excuses which get half- woven in his head but their seams are loose and each sentence falls apart before it leaves his mouth.

Egon knows he lingers too long. Needs to pull back. He doesn’t understand why his body won’t listen.

The tip of his thumb rests at the corner of your lips, then moves on to another gentle caress. Then again. And again, until you sigh. Warm breath tickles his skin. He tries it once more to check if you allow him— and you do— more than that— you melt into the touch, heat radiating from your skin, breathing deep— receptive, indulgent, responsive.

This is… inebriating.

“…You seem okay”, he concludes. “No injuries?”

“No. You?”

“None”, he says, letting his hands hang loose again. “I’ll run a few tests. Call Venkman, tell him we’ve got a subject. He should come immediately.”

“Okay. But tell me what’s going on.”

“…We’ve just caught an anomaly. As I said.”

“Not that. I see you. I notice things”, you say cautiously but he makes sure his face is as blank as ever. “You’re usually so collected. What happened?”

Egon doesn’t think it needs explanation. It’s obvious. Should be, at least. He frowns and says:

“I don’t want my friends to get hurt.”

“…After Ray?”

He nods.

A pair of soft hands brush against his jaw and in a moment— before he’s able to fully process what’s happening— his face dips down, guided by the delicate touch and you gently place your lips near his chin.

It’s a simple gesture. Gentle touch. A shadow of a kiss, lighter than Dana’s, nothing more than a brush of hot skin but— Lord, help him— he shivers— it’s so much more— it’s everything— it’s overwhelming.

“Ray is fine”, you whisper, looking at him again. “You’ll see him tomorrow, remember? It’s almost over.”

“…Again, please.”

“You’ll see him tomorrow...”

“No. Not this, the…”

It takes you a second but you get it and breathe out a laugh. Brush his jaw again, then wrap your hands around his neck and pull him into a tight hug.

Oh. Oh.

His arms tentatively reach for your back and once they’re there— recognize the texture of his shirt (outlining your shape in a way he declines to register)— and he lets down his guard a bit. Tightens his grasp. Sinks into the moment. He lets his hands really feel you for the first time since the both of you’ve started accepting proximity and it frightens him beyond belief— it’s soft, welcoming, disarming and pure— so his eyes close, stiff muscles let go— anxiety abates—  he’s out of breath— but all you do is hold him close, no doubt, no shame. You’re as open and affectionate as ever, a salve for his mind, a missing link. You fit right here. He’s never known a feeling like this, not even with his family.

That’s something new: his fear for your life instigates a soothing response. Highly unusual. He’ll have to write it down for future reference.

“Could we include this into the list of things we do? Under… particular circumstances, of course?”

“Sure. Whenever you need it.”

You stay like that for a moment. It’s quiet and dark. Egon relishes every breath tickling the nape of his neck, every slight fidget against his chest, every movement— and when you finally take a step back, his chest feels almost hollow. As if it’s just tasted peace and had to let go.

“You should also add a point in which you listen to me in case of immediate danger”, he says. “In a bold, red, permanent marker, preferably.”

You smile. It’s playful. Cheeky. Beautiful. Whatever anxiety you’d felt a moment ago, evaporated.

“I did cooperate, doofus! You won’t find a more flexible squire than myself.”

“Flexible tends to mean obedient”, he raises an eyebrow. “When I say you fall back, you do.”

“When you require assistance, I help! That’s literally in my agreement. I signed the paper, you have no say in this, Spengler.”

“Spenglers are a team. And, when faced with danger, have to be unanimous.”

“You’re right!” You give him your finger guns and turn to the reception desk. “See? We’ve just agreed and it’s that easy!”

He smirks.

“Call Venkman.”

“Ai, ai, Sir!”

He watches you pick up the phone and dial Peter’s number. A few beeps later your voice fades into a mumble of funny noises.

When he turns towards the hybrid, he notices another curious thing: the tentacles seem to deflate and seep into a bile of ectoplasmic goo.

He must take a sample immediately. Ray is going to love this.

#ghostbusters #egon spengler x reader #egon spengler #egon spengler x you #fanfiction #egon spengler imagines #self insert #ghostbusters fanfiction #ao3 #harold ramis #self ship #self indulgent #happy easter

[katapotato55]

Deltarune theory: Kris, Noelle, and Ralsei (Kris may not hate Ralsei THAT much) and other misc theories.

obviously spoilers for Deltarune up to chapter 2 and some of the Spamton sweepstakes. play the game it's free on steam. also this is a little bit long and contains a lot of screenshots. Not a huge amount of text walls I am just crazy. more info after the cut.

(credit to the deltarune wiki for these screenshots) So a common theory is that the health gained from the tea represents how close emotionally characters are to each other. If a character does not know someone else, the tea appears as nothing, such as Noelle having no reaction to the Ralsei tea, since at that point in the game they never met. People often use this as an implication that Kris does not like ralsei very much. but here is the thing that gets me:

Kris seems to get damn near the same amount of HP from Noelle as they do Ralsei. and that is confusing... because aren't they supposed to be childhood friends? meanwhile Susie used to bully Kris as implied by the Spamton sweepstakes... and yet Susie's tea gives Kris the MOST health out of all of them. not to mention Noelle seems to share the same amount of health return, but doesn't hate the tea either. What on earth is going on here?

The Theory (s?)

The unfun theory: The health means absolutely nothing. Personally I don't like this theory if you couldn't tell already. The spicy friendship theory: Kris doesn't hate Ralsei THAT MUCH, they are just uneasy about them. Alternatively: Kris probably just gets along better with someone like Susie than someone like Ralsei. The climax in every children's movie ever theory: before the events of Deltarune, something happened that made Kris upset at Noelle and it harmed their relationship. (possibly something to do with Des) The BFFSBSROFL (no that acronym does not stand for anything) theory : kris actually gels SO well with susie that they are basically best friends, making Noelle and Ralsei look pathetic in comparison. Alternatively, Kris and Susie have a much deeper history that the Spamton Sweepstakes left out. Alternatively: it could also be that Susie is the first strong friendship Kris has had in a very long time and they are in the honeymoon phase of their friendship. The shippers wet dream theory: Kris has a thing for Susie after the events of ch 1 and is jealous of Noelle. (I claim no financial responsibility for whatever the fuck the shipping part of the fandom may do with this potential bit of information.) The "my parent's friend's kids" theory: Kris never really was that close to Noelle to begin with, Its just that the Dreemur family and the Holiday family go way back and Kris being a kid was just in the middle of it. These are the theories I have so far, let me know if you guys have anything more interesting.

Other things to mention

The Laser prank. During that scene with Noelle with chapter 2, the player finds a switch that requires the player and Noelle to press a button and let each other through the laser barrier. as a player you can suddenly jump off the button before noelle passes as a joke. however, if you go too far and do it right when Noelle is too close to the laser:

you almost hurt Noelle (but she is ok) and then she pulls the same prank on Kris. then:

If you don't go too far with the prank, Noelle simply says "nice teamwork" and you continue on. This is interesting to me for many reasons. here is a few theories I have listed: 1-Kris actually was hurt (unlikely because their HP was not lowered and the player did not touch the laser) 2- Kris actually DOES care about Noelle and is horrified the player almost hurt her 2.5- Or perhaps Kris does care about Noelle and is horrified she did the prank back at them as serious as the laser was. Perhaps Kris has weird feelings about abandonment and self love considering their parents divorce and all that has been going on in this game 3- Kris is just being petty and immature that they got pranked right back. 4- Kris is potentially mis-reading the situation thinking that the player and Noelle are somehow against Kris, when in reality both the player and Noelle are just playing around. Remember that Kris is a young teenager going through a rough patch at home, so it makes sense they are on edge about this kind of thing. 5- I am reading way too deep into this bit.

The Boat Picture with Ralsei listen man. Its no secret Ralsei resembles Asriel. hell there is a STRONG implication that Ralsei is actually Kris's childhood red horns headband considering Ralsei also has red horns.

here is the bit that gets to me sometimes: Later on in Ch 2, you are on a boat ride with ralsei and a photo booth. you have the option to Hug Ralsei, show a peace sign in the wrong direction, or commit cultural appropriation against Berdly in particular (my favorite option yes i am very mature)

why does this sit with me? well-

First: daawwww asgoooooreeee second: what does this mean- there are so many implications, Again i am just going to list theories and speculation: 1- Kris does not appreciate the gremlin that looks suspiciously like their older brother and how said gremlin may be crushing on them, along with the player pushing that along. enough said. 2- Kris is OK with hugs, they just don't like it when their dad gives them a massive cuddly bear hug. 3- kris is being an angsty teen acting like they are too good for hugs. 4- Again I am probably overthinking it and Kris actually does not hate hugs (or hugging ralsei) that much. Overall, I think Kris Kross Applesauce's real problem is less about the hugging and the pranking of Noelle, but rather something deeper. behold!

THE OMEGA THEORY

Kris just wants agency over their own life. It isn't that deep really. It is implied that Kris... honestly doesn't like themselves very much and doesn't like being human. The fact they never grew horns growing up and wore plastic horns all the time was probably the first time Kris felt like an outsider, and all they wanted to do was to be like their family. and now their parents are divorced Their older brother has been off for university and can only come back on certain occasions Sans Undertale is probably fucking their mom (or sans is just messing with you because sans is a hilarious asshole) Kris probably has trauma from whatever happened to December Holiday (which has not been revealed yet other than Spamton sweepstakes hinting) And now, Kris appears to be possessed by SOMETHING. and who the hell knows what and who is posessing kris. it could be you the player doing that or perhaps the player IS kris and that the thing possessing kris is what threw the player in the cage or more. we don't know yet But the thing i know most is that all Kris just wants is to have more control over their own life. Hell considering the implication that Ralsei is the manifestation of Kris's childhood headband, perhaps Ralsei represents a part of who Kris wishes they were. either way It doesn't matter if the player messes with Noelle or hugs Kris's friend that uncomfortably resembles their brother Kris just wants it to be THEIR decision rather than the decision of an omnipotent god that has a strange affliction for hyper-analyzing their life to make an overly-produced Tumblr post. thank you for reading my crap.

#deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune chapter two #ralsei #kris deltarune #kris dreemurr #noelle holiday #deltarune susie #deltarune theory #deltarune speculation #pc gaming #gaming #theory #theories #media analysis #deltarune fandom #deltarune kris #deltarune noelle #deltarune ralsei

[toasted-valentine]

Still Got Adamandi Details I’m Not Normal About, So Here They Are

A lot of these are going to make me sound like a massive fucking nerd lol

•Beatrix slapping Vincent’s hand away when he tries to grab the archive records from the table.

•Beatrix clearly not wanting to be there during the first two interviews, then just relaxing and teasing Vincent during their interview with him since they’re friends. The switch from strict professionalism to being a bit more playful is a good way of establishing that the two already know each other and are comfortable with one another, especially the opening line about Beatrix not knowing Vincent’s middle name. It’s just a simple thing, but gets the point across well.

•All of Portia’s reaction, highlights include the sweet to surprised one during the beginning of A Little More in Love and her “I’m not mad, just disappointed” look during Ghost Writer.

•The little flourish Beatrix does with the pencil during The One Who Pulls The Strings, I’m curious how many times the actor accidentally stabbed themself before they got that down lol

•This is something I notice gets done in both TAOPP and Adamandi, with the same actor too. The actor for Ambrose and Rowan changes the pitch of their voice and how high the notes they hit are depending on how vulnerable the character is being. Higher is more vulnerable and expressive, lower is more closed off. Extra fucked up points for the fact Ambrose’s notes get higher after he fucking dies.

•I’m going to be a massive music nerd for a minute, my music analysis skills are a bit rusty, so forgive me if I’m a bit wrong. The motif I like to call the “Beatrix Does A Bad Thing” motif. It plays whenever Beatrix does something wrong, it’s the skeleton of their three major songs. Starts with The One Who Pulls The Strings, gets a bit more complicated in the reprise, and is at full force in Ghost Writer. It’s like a building monster, first the bones, then the muscle, then the creature itself.

•The actors for The Saints and the other Phaethon nominees are the same people, so Vincent does in fact cut The Saints up lmao

•The glowing under Ambrose’s shirt goes from a visual of his muscles hardening to a show of his slit throat, which is evil and I love it.

•Beatrix covers their eyes and looks away when Quincy stabs Vincent, I can’t tell if it’s the fact they can’t stomach the murder, or if they fucking got blood on their face and that’s why they’re staring at their hand in horror when Portia comes on stage. It’s also a good transition motion to guide the audience’s eyes from the killing blow to them. They couldn’t actually use blood on stage, stage blood has to be minimal since it’s sticky, stains costumes, and is difficult to get rid of for continuity, so reaction shots like that get the point across well.

•Beatrix has a ring on in The Other Side of Failure, might be just a show that time has passed, or it could be that it’s to help them remember stuff but they’re no longer being tugged around on strings by the admin. Or crackpot theory, it’s one of Portia’s rings from earlier in the show, but I can’t tell if it’s the same one since none of the shots I’ve dug through are close enough to get details.

•The little hand motions Beatrix does in the show are mimicking a puppeteer pulling strings.

•The admins red coloration call back to Beatrix’s red string, it’s a visual callback to the fact she’s being strung along by them and manipulated. The Admin have it on their cloak collars too, keeping the collar in their designs.

•In Read All About It, one of the chorus actors fucks up their newspaper and forgets to close it when they’re supposed to with the others. It’s just something that makes me chuckle, cause you can see how fucking stressed they are about it, and that they close it when they pass behind Beatrix’s actor cause they didn’t think the camera would catch it lol

•When The Admin lift their arms in Read All About It Beatrix does the same, and when the music cuts out they’re super confused on what just happened and are staring at the newspapers contemplating what they just did.

•I just realized that the marks on Ambrose’s face in the second act weren’t meant to guide where his chisel was, but was a guide for where Vincent had to cut.

•Ambrose looks flattered when Quincy says their professor led a moment of silence, even in death he has his head up his own ass.

•Ambrose is projecting so fucking hard on Vincent during Sound Body Sound Mind, and it makes me laugh.

•There is a continuity error in Oh, Ms. Reporter! The drawers had red strings in them in the previous scene and during the wide shots, but they aren’t there during the close ups.

•This is just a story note, but it’s clever that they had Portia get a better position in The Daily. It serves a duel purpose in the narrative, it emphasizes the fact Rosswell has implicit bias and that she picks the person whose more white passing instead of the more skilled Latina with seniority, and gives an explanation to how they managed to get the article about Vincent and The Admin published. Beatrix wouldn’t have been able to on her own, but Portia’s position allows them greater access to The Daily’s resources.

•In Me, Myself, and I, I think the actor for Ambrose accidentally made their microphone crackle and you can actually hear a small pop in the recording, dude performed so hard the equipment had a small stroke. You can only hear it in the album tho.

•The is just a music thing, Vincent slowing down for his part to explain why being loved is great in Me, Myself, and I serves the music in giving a brief breath of air so when it comes back it feels like it’s going faster and more frantic. It’s a really common technique to make something feel like it’s going faster when it’s keeping a consistent, just had a short slow down.

•Ambrose grabs Vincent’s face during Student Body, it’s creepy, thanks I hate it. The actor for Ambrose did not have to put that much effort into being unsettling, but they did, and they made Ambrose as likable as he is in the show.

•Everything the actor for Ambrose does when the character dies, they’re jerking around like a corpse that’s gone stiff from decomposing. Give them a medal for managing to be the creepiest mf in that show, and keep them ten feet away from me because it kind of freaks me out.

•The little transition in Oh, Ms. Reporter of the chorus members spelling out Ambrose’s name but Vincent cutting it off to continue his song. It’s a creative lyrical moment and hints to the fact that Vincent cut Ambrose’s life short.

•A couple of the people who Vincent mention’s in Oh, Ms. Reporter are actual some of the people Beatrix was interviewing in the first act, you can hear them saying their names when they’re all yelling over each other.

•The little pieces of advice the main four give Portia during A Word to the Wise are foreshadowing. Ambrose trying to be perfect gets him killed, Quincy’s ambition and academic perfectionism causes them to snap, Vincent deciding to murder people instead of an actual project since there isn’t a use of trying anything else, Beatrix being a bystander and waiting to “do something great” gets people killed.

•Whoever wrote the line “What use is a candle if both ends aren’t burning?” is a menace to society and I want to give them all the money in my wallet, because Quincy burns both their hands later on, and that’s evil.

•The mic on Beatrix’s actor accidentally picks up them tapping the notebook too hard during The One Who Pulled the String, just something I find funky.

•Apollo was the god of young men, being eternally youthful, but was also the god of plagues and disease. Ambrose wants to be the white ideal of an eternally twinkish gay trans guy, but ends up falling victim to Vincent, who compares his actions to a disease killing someone.

•The music used to introduce Beatrix into Me, Myself, and I is the same as the beginning of Read All About It, they’re doubting their actions, and their mind is racing like the music.

•Vincent tries fucking squaring up with the other Ardess students during A Word to The Wise when Quincy is about to jump, dude just is ready to throw hands, it’s great.

•Ambrose tries to defend Vincent from the others, but turns around and betrays him after.

•I like the little spin that Roswell does to Beatrix, she’s getting them confused so she can take advantage.

•Vincent and Quincy aren’t singing during the “And two or three students like you” part, but Beatrix is because she’s internalized the racism of Ardess and is trying to fit in.

•Beatrix just is not having a good time during the interviews, and you can see them get annoyed when the nominees try sucking up to them.

•Fun little thing, they get around the fact Beatrix’s actor can’t spin around like the others when the names are read out during A Word to The Wise by having them stagger and open their arms. It’s a little thing, but gets around that nicely.

•When everyone starts stomping to the beat at the end of A Word to the Wise you can see Portia hesitate to join in, start slowly, then join in fully in the end and begin to sing with the others.

•The poses everyone strike at the end of A Word to the Wise actually have a lot of personality in them, Ambrose is being a dramatic dude bro, Quincy is stiff and nervous, Vincent stands out by having their hand to their chest, Portia is hopeful, and Beatrix just continues to smoke and seem disinterested.

•The “I don’t know, do you have any ideas?” guy is the funniest mf in the room.

•The A papers during Perfect at School form a halo. Again, the people who made this are evil and I love that for them.

•The umbrellas in Where Can I Run harken back to a funeral environment, which is nice foreshadowing that death follows Vincent everywhere for most of the show.

•Vincent wants to go home back to China, wants to go back to his family, to the environment he knows, but he’s stuck at Ardess. Without that degree he’s got nothing, he’d be a complete failure, so they’re stuck at a school they hate surrounded by people who hate them with only two people that like being around them.

•I want to find whoever decided to have Quincy accidentally smack Vincent in the face when he goes to kiss them during the first act as foreshadowing to the fact Quincy later harms Vincent, buy them dinner, and then make them pay for my therapy bills.

•I want to know what god the actor for Beatrix had to kill in order to gender so fucking hard. What kind of sacrilegious actions did they have to commit to win that?

•The newspaper that Beatrix’s actor has in one hand during The One Who Pulls the Strings is a random Princeton one and you can see the university’s name during some of the close ups lol

•During A Little More in Love you can see Ambrose’s actor getting ready for their cue under the bookshelf in a few shots.

•I find it funny that Portia hugs Quincy after A Little More in Love while Beatrix just looks offended and brushes Vincent off. Motherfucking Beatrix, blue hair and pronouns, Campbell tried denying the homosexuality allegations and is failing.

•This maybe speculation, but I think the reason Ambrose’s chest is highlighted in red is because he’s trying to work out enough to make his chest smaller. My friend actually does this, a lot of trans masc gym rats do.

•Vincent “Oh, Ms. Reporter!” Lin denies stalking people.

•Vincent keeps writing in their notebook during Sound Body Sound Mind, you can see them pull it out when they go to hide under the ladders.

•Vincent only calls Ambrose by his name instead of Bassford after killing him.

•I like Ambrose getting annoyed at Preston and Adrian not doing the kick line right lol

•I don’t know what Mandela affect bullshit is going on, but I always thought Ambrose kept the pages from Vincent’s notebook, and I have no clue where I got that idea from.

•I like that Portia starts wit “Hi hi!” when she’s nervous, and that she’s so frazzled trying to interview Beatrix that she can’t find a pencil and Beatrix has to give theirs to her. It’s just a cute little bit of character building. Beatrix actually pulls the pencil out from behind her ear, which is also a nice little bit of characterization.

•As soon as the interview starts Beatrix starts wrapping one of their strings around their fingers to try and not forget what they’re lying about. If you pay attention to what the actor is doing with their hands the entire show you can catch a few little fun character building bits like that.

•In the wide shots of the Beatrix and Portia interview scene you can see Beatrix start to stress smoke when Portia compliments them and says they should’ve gotten nominated. Mf feels the weight of her lies on her back real fast lol

•Beatrix sits like a bisexual, and I find that funny.

•Vincent almost manages to talk Ambrose down, but when Quincy gets brought up he almost starts crying and gets violently angry. So close there bud, so close.

•When Beatrix’s actor starts doing their funky little hand motions in Me, Myself, and I it’s actually on cue with the music, reference to Beatrix pulling the strings. They also move their hands on cue to Ambrose and Quincy singing “me, myself, and I” and on cue for when the singing stops. Nice touch.

•The person who Vincent takes the place of during Me, Myself, and I is who saw him fleeing the gym. Just noticed it, that’s such a cool thing. Was super confused on why a chorus member was there, then I remembered the line in Read All About It.

•Portia is still editing articles in the background while Beatrix is having a crisis of morality in the foreground lol

•The actor for Vincent pulls off the ribbon trick to symbolize Ambrose’s death by grabbing the ribbon from the bag while moving towards the back of the stage, hiding their hand behind their back while they continue to sing, and pulling the ribbon out with his free hand when time comes. The song is so grand in scale that no one in the audience would be being attention to his hands.

•The flour cigarette trick is actually refilled a couple times when time allows it, you can see the actor for Beatrix puffing fake smoke out with it a few times, but can only do it once in a scene due to the limits of the trick.

•It is hilarious how disinterest Beatrix sounds when reading Ambrose’s memorial, they know it’s not true and are bored by it lol

•One of The Saint’s actors, Saint Jude specifically, has the remote for the candles in their hand and are the one controlling it during Litany of Martyrs. You can see them accidentally reveal it during one of the close up and quickly try to hide it in their sleeve.

•Saint Jude’s actor doesn’t actually tie the bandage onto Quincy’s hand right during Litany of Martyrs so the actor for Quincy just uses their thumbs to keep it in place.

•When Beatrix gets their strings caught in the typewriter, the mise en scene us is used to emphasize how small The Prize Section is by having Portia sit on the glorified nightstand Beatrix is using as a desk instead of an actual chair.

•Vincent puts his feet up on the “desk” when he breaks into The Prize Section office, which is apparently a habit of theirs since they also do it when Beatrix is interviewing them.

•Adrian and Preston’s actors aren’t on stage as their characters until Oh, Ms. Reporter! because they’re also chorus members in Read All About it, so needed time to get changed and get their makeup done.

•The Saints are mimicking hellfire during I Hate and I Love, creepy as fuck, but one hell of a visual. They’re still there when Quincy is talking to Portia too, like goddamn, leave them alone you weird religious bongos.

•You can see Beatrix’s actor struggling to keep their glasses on their face the entire show, and it is the funniest thing to me, because I have similar glasses and I know how much of a pain in the ass they are to keep on when trying to move around quick.

•Of course English major Beatrix would correct Portia’s grammar when she’s trying to tell them that Vincent is the killer.

•I find it funny you can see Beatrix mouth “fuck” when Portia goes to raid The Prize Section for information after suggesting they stop Vincent.

•Alright, I think the way they spliced together the audio and video for the YouTube version is with two dress rehearsals and the two nights the show was put on combine. The dress rehearsals are the close ups, but you can tell which one of them came first based on the costume for Beatrix. The earlier one has gloves with the tags still on and the red string in the second act is shorter, plus they used to have a flower pin on the jacket but lost it for the actual show. The audio is from the actual performances from show night asides from a few bits where they needed to cut the audience’s reaction out, but the music on the album is a mix of all of them and just the best takes they had put together. It’s why the mic cracking on Ambrose’s actor can be heard on the album but not on the YouTube version, in the YouTube version the audio tech didn’t turn Vincent’s actor’s mic on in time during his part, so they had to use the cracked audio for the album.

•The Admin are casually homophobic and racist towards Quincy and Vincent during their meeting, actively try to divide them, and I want to kick all of them in the skull. You can see just how manipulative they are, calling Quincy and Vincent’s relationship a friendship, openly insulting Vincent, hinting that Quincy is being held back, they’re so fucking bitchy and I want them to get slapped with a tuna.

•You can see the different mentalities Quincy and Vincent have with how they react to the admin, Quincy is acceptance, and Vincent would definitely kill them all if possible. I love the “bullshit” line so much.

•I love and hate how hurt Vincent gets when Quincy accuses them of not caring. The entire Where Can I Run (Reprise) scene is so good, Quincy shoving Vincent off, the ghosts dragging Vincent’s jacket off them, both their parts being haunted by their respective demons with The Saints and the ghosts of The Marmorius.

•Explanation of the staging trick used to make it look like Beatrix and Portia’s actors are kissing. It’s a really old trick, but a useful one. The actors are both about the same height so it’s possible, they quickly press their foreheads together, turn, and the lights dim. They aren’t actually kissing, but the quick motion of it, the fact you can’t see their faces, and the dark lighting hides it. It’s also why Quincy and Vincent’s actors couldn’t do that, Vincent’s actor stands solidly at chest height with Quincy’s actor, and it would look too awkward to have them kiss like that. Quincy’s actor would have to bend down, and that would look really weird.

•Vincent calling his murders the “smoothest” murders just make me think of him being a smooth criminal lmfao

•The prop for Quincy’s notebook during I Hate and I Love and Vincent’s notebook for The Other Side of Failure are the same notebook, just a basic molskine I think.

•The boots for Beatrix’s costume don’t have laces because those are doc martens, and doc marten laces are a pain in the fucking ass to keep tied, so they just are using zip ups lol

#adamandi #vincent aurelius lin #beatrix valeria campbell #quincy cynthius martin #ambrose wellington bassford #portia elizabeth harper

[pesky--dust]

Everyone knows the scene in pigpen from the ending of Tome-wan, right? 

At the beginning it was surprising and incomprehensible to me how Will himself told Manson Verger that Hannibal is the one Manson wants to be feeding to his pigs and yet, when the chance arose, Will — though he said a lot times he want to do it — didn’t kill Hannibal but freed him. However after all I created a theory.

It never was about actually killing Hannibal but about power dynamic.

So here we go:

I perceive this scene as Will’s desire to prove Hannibal that he could trust him; he orchestrated a dangerous scenerio for Hannibal, but at the same time, he showed him he had everything under control. That means their dynamic switched: when Will was in Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, Hannibal controlled the situation, now Hannibal’s life was in Will’s hands. In my mind this was something like, ”See? See? I may make you go through some risky situations, but you do the same when it comes to me and yet you rescue me, so I rescue you. Do you trust me now the same as I trust you? You see? We are just alike.”

Hugh Dancy himself said that Will had occasion in Yakimono to kill Hannibal, but he didn't it, because Will didn't really hate Hannibal. After everything he had been through because of Hannibal, he should rather hate him, but he didn't. That's the point.

And remember what Hannibal said to Margot? According to him she couldn't kill her brother because she still somehow loved him, and in order to kill Manson, she had to allow herself to truly hate him. The same was case was with Will and his “hate” towards Hannibal.

I also believe the very important thing about this “act” is what happened after Will was released from Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane.

At the end of Yakimono, Will tells Hannibal that he has to deal with him and his feelings about him. I think that was true. Will was convinced that Hannibal was the Chesapeake Ripper, but at the same time he knew that Hannibal saved him from the death penalty and felt that Hannibal wanted to be his friend, so he started their game with goal to catch Hannibal. However soon after being realised from facality his confusion about his own feelings grew and he realised he is attached to Hannibal (for time being — attached emotionally, since I guess that he didn’t want to acknowledge that it may be love), so hating Hannibal and catching him became much harder to achive than he expected, since he himself truly didn’t want it and the proof for that we painfully get in Mizumono by lines like:

1) You were supposed to leave.

2) Hannibal: You wanted deny my life.

Will: Not your life.

3) Hannibal: I let you know me... see me. I gave you a rare gift, but you didn't want it.

Will: Didn't I?

For me that scene in pigpen means Will couldn’t kill Hannibal, since his feelings for Hannibal were much more complicated than the desire to revenge and to kill him. He wanted to prove Hannibal that he is trustworthy (and from the conversation between Hannibal and Bedelia, we know trust isn’t easy for him).

Killing Hannibal became just his fantasy that wouldn't satisfy his expectations.

#hannibal #hannibal nbc #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram #hannibal s02e12 #hannibal tome-wan #hannibal meta #hannibal analysis #tome wan #bedelia du maurier #margot verger #baltimore state hospital for the criminally insane #pesky--dust analysis

[gunilslaugh]

Hey :]

Its my first time that I have a request for you so I don't know if you wrote this before🙈

But my request:

Could you maby write a enemy to lover fanfic with Jooyeon x Y/n?

Maby that both if them meet in the same school and realized they were in the same class and they sat on one table.

And they had to do a group project and there they were a lot together.

I hope you can write it with my bad instructions🙈😅

Thank you <3

Hope you have a good day/night ^^

You explained well, no worries :)

Lee Jooyeon

Summary: Lee Jooyeon disliked you and disliked him. When you’re not only forced to sit next to him, but also be his partner for a project how will things unfold?

WC:1.5k 

Warning:grammar

photo not mine credits to owner The first time you met Jooyeon was on the first day of school. You were walking around a corner when you suddenly bumped into someone.

“I’m sorry,”

“I’m sorry,” you both said at the same time. Now taking a glance at the boy you just ran into.

“Guess it’s a bit of a blind corner,” you said awkwardly.

“Yeah, guess so. I’ll be on my way now,” the boy said just as awkwardly before walking away. 

Later you find out that the boy’s name is Jooyeon, since you shared a class together. How this first awkward interaction took a turn for the worse you're not too sure yourself. You suppose it started when you two were assigned to sit next to one another. Maybe it was because he instantly chatted with his friend Jiseok across the aisle or the way his right arm would always invade your space on your desk. Not to mention his annoying pencil tapping that claimed to be “great music”. Perhaps it was that no matter how many times you politely asked him to stop or at least tone it down he never did. Telling you that I wasn't doing anything that bothersome. Mayhaps at first he truly didn’t think he was being bothersome, but now he definitely knows that these actions bother you and continues to do them on purpose just to make you mad. The one thing you don’t understand is why. What could you have possibly ever done to him?

“Class,” the teacher called everyone's attention about ten minutes before class ended. “We’re gonna be doing a group project and you’re going to be working with your shoulder partner. Come up with a topic and submit it to me by the end of class, so I can approve it,” the teacher explained. “Oh also don’t ask me about switching partners sometimes you have to work with people you don’t like in life, be mature about it,”

“Great,” you sarcastically told yourself.

“I think it’s just great too,” Jooyeon said, matching your sarcastic tone.

“What topic do you want to do?” you asked, trying to be civil.

“I don’t know, you pick,” he told you. Perfect he’s already no help you thought.

“How about color theory?” you suggested.

“What’s that?” he questioned.

“It’s the science and art of using color. It explains how humans perceive color. It’s also about matching, mixing, or contrasting colors. It also includes messages that colors communicate,” you thoroughly explained to him.

“Sure, sounds interesting, let's do that,” he agrees quite easily. Something you didn’t quite expect him to do.

“Ok, I’ll go submit it,” you say as you write your name and his name on a piece of paper with your chosen topic on it.  You handed it over to the teacher. They briefly looked at it before giving it a check mark indicating that you’re good to go.

“We’re all set,” you say, returning to your seat.

“Cool, give me your phone,” he says

“Why?” you quiz.

“For the project. We need to communicate,” he stated obviously.

“Right here,” you say as you pull out your phone and unlock it. Pulling up to create a new contact. He does the same before you exchange phones. You simply type in “y/n” as the contact name before adding your number. When you exchange phones back you see that he typed “Jooyeon 😃” as his contact name. You wondered what the smiley face was about, but chose not to say anything about it. It probably didn’t mean anything.

The bell rang dismissing class and you went about the rest of your day normally.

After arriving home from school you went to your room and did whatever work that you had to get done. Following completing your work you grabbed your phone and debated if you should text Jooyeon about the project or not. You had two weeks to do it and the teacher was giving you time to work on it in class tomorrow, so there wasn’t anyneed to rush. Although it appeared Jooyeon had similar thoughts to yours since your phone lit up displaying his contact name with the simple message “Hi” succeeding it. You waited a few minutes before responding back mirroring the previous message “Hi”

Jooyeon 😃

Any ideas on how we should do the project?

Y/n

I was thinking we could do a slideshow

Jooyeon 😃

Sounds good 👍

Let’s sort out the details tomorrow

Y/n

Ok 

You didn’t expect Jooyeon to be so cooperative about the project. Definitely thinking he would be stubborn and unaccommodating. It's a pleasant surprise though and it makes you think maybe he’s not as bad as you thought.  

The proceeding day, you headed to your shared period with Jooyeon, but something was different this time. There wasn’t the slight feeling of dread knowing that you would be annoyed by Jooyeon’s antics for the majority of class. 

You walked into class and took your seat, pulling out the materials you needed for class. 

“Hey,” Jooyeon greets you as he takes his seat beside yours. His greeting takes you back a bit. You’ve never really greeted each other before.

“Hi,” you greet him back nonetheless. The teacher gives you the whole class period to work on the project. You and Jooyeon sort out the layout of your slides and decide who will do which ones. 

“I’m free after school if you want to work on the project more,” Jooyeon brings up.

“I’m free too. Do you have a place in mind?” You say.

“My house isn’t far from school, but if you’re not comfortable with that we could just work at the library…My house has snacks though,” he sounds like that awkward boy you bumped into on the first day of school.

“I like snacks,” is your answer.

“Great, let’s meet outside this classroom afterschool then?”

“Sounds good,” The both of you work on the project for the remainder of the period.

Once the final bell of the day rang you made your way to meet Jooyeon. When you arrived he was already standing there leaning against the wall. Just as he saw you approaching he stood up and walked towards you meeting you halfway.

“Ready?” He questioned.

“Ready,” you replied. You followed his lead as he walked out of school and began walking in the direction of his home. Upon arriving at his home he told you that you could set up in the living room while he grabbed the snacks. You made your way to the living room pulling your laptop out of your bag and other materials you had that were related to the project. Soon Jooyeon made his way into the living room with various snacks in hand. You guys made yourselves a little set up on the floor and began getting to work.

“Y’know we actually work well together,” you spoke.

“Did you think we wouldn’t?” He probes.

“We usually just annoy each other throughout class so I didn’t expect us to no,” you respond.

“Each other?” He questions your word choice “I’m usually the one annoying you,” he continues.

“I just thought my presence alone annoys you,” you tell him. He laughs at your statement.

“It doesn’t,” he informs, still slightly laughing.

“Then why do you always annoy me?” You interrogate.

“Because I’m stupid and bad with feelings,” he admits.

“What?” you ask, wanting him to explain more.

“Remember the first day of school when we bumped into each other?” He queries. You nodded your head yes. “Well I thought that you were really pretty and that made me nervous so I quickly left. Thinking it’s fine I probably wouldn't see you again, but then we had class together and even had to sit next to one another,” He stops for a moment to look at you. All you do is gesture for him to continue. “I really didn’t mean to annoy you at first. I have a tendency to tap my pencil when I’m nervous and the arm on your desk was because I wanted to be closer to you,” he reveals. 

“Why didn’t you just talk to me?” you ask.

“Like I said I’m stupid and since I knew that I already annoyed you I thought it was too late I guess I don’t know really,”

“You think I’m pretty?” You teased him.

“Stop!” He groaned, hiding his face behind a paper that picked up from the floor.

“How about this?” you question him.

“About what?” He asks for more clarification.

“After the project. Let’s go on a date,” you declare.

“Seriously? Don’t play with me,” he tells you.

“I’m not,” you chuckle lightly at his reaction.

You and Jooyeon aced the project and the day after your guys date the pair of you entered the classroom holding hands.

“Woah. What’s that?” Jiseok questions pointing at your interlaced fingers.

“It’s a thing couples do,” you reply.

“Couple!?” he shouts surprised.

“I’ll tell you later,” Jooyeon tells him as the pair of you take your seats happily beside one another.

#xdh imagines #xdh x reader #xdinary heroes #xdh #xdinary heroes imagines #xdinary heroes x reader #xh jooyeon #jooyeon x reader #lee jooyeon

[deeplyridiculouslyinlove]

Okay, my thoughts at the end of book 4! I’m mostly saving these for my own posterity and there isn’t much interesting here in terms of theory or meta or whatever, so sorry to anyone who finds it in the tags.

- I *really* liked parts of this book. Rand’s experience in Ruihdean was very well done, as were most of the parts of the book in the Waste more generally IMO. Exploring Tel’aran’rhiod was very cool. And I liked learning about the cultural norms surrounding women in the other cultures who can channel. I also liked getting POV chapters for some of the antagonists. Basically, anything that was focused more on world building and less on specific characters had me so engaged I couldn’t stop listening. Not an original thought, but the world building in these books is so good.

- It really took me some time to adjust to the versions of the characters in this book, because it feels like some of them take a sharp turn from who they were books 1-3. Rand especially. I think I had been expecting a little more buildup of character growth where he grows into someone new informed by who he used to be and retaining those values, but instead he’s sort of just a different person this book. It didn’t help that I switched audiobook narrators I’m sure, but there is definitely a different tone to this book - for example, suddenly in this book there are “bosoms” everywhere and it’s weird bc like, where did that come from? Anyway, I’m learning quickly that character development isn’t the strong part of these books even though they’re all POV chapters. By the end of the book I was used to the new versions of each character, but I’m a bit sad we didn’t see more of emotional toll the characters are going through so their changes would be less abrupt. Moiraine also had a different vibe to me this book - I’m biased obviously, but I feel like we need a Moiraine POV chapter soon to understand her current arc. Not that I should ask for these books to be *longer* lol.

- I knew the coup was coming and that Siuan would be stilled but I’m still so DISTRESSED by it. In fact I was so distressed that I had to ask my partner if she eventually gets her power back like Moiraine did in the show 😂 I’m so curious if they’re essentially going to do the same storyline twice, or switch up Siuan’s somehow to avoid the stilling plot altogether? And also, I think I get why they used 2x07 to set up Moiraine and Siuan not being on the best of terms if in the books Siuan doesn’t know what’s going on with Rand when the coup occurs.

- Sadly I feel like everything I heard about the poor writing of women that had been the reason I hesitated to read the books in the first place really crop up in this book. Why is every single POV female character (and even some who aren’t POV, like Faile) in love with a male character? And don’t get me started on the weird way that the girls have their clothes change on them to expose them without consent when they think about men in Tel’aran’rhiod - that would NEVER be written to happen to a male character to show his interest in a woman. And yet at the same time they’re supposed to be all in love and weirdly horny now, they’re also somehow all soo childish - what in the world is with Elayne pulling in Thom’s mustaches?? At one point they literally say Aviendha is having a “tantrum.” It’s not just that the book is so straight, it’s also like, weird straight…

- Maybe tied to the above, but it seems like we’re not supposed to like the Aes Sedai (or maybe more accurately, the White Tower and those trained formally there) but I continue to think they’re one of the most interesting parts of these books. Even with the coup! I want so much more from their perspectives. And it seems like Jordan may be trying to make the point that “even if you have only women in power it will also be corrupt and bad because the problem is power not gender” (like reverse patriarchy!), and to the extent he is it isn’t really hitting for me - it just sort of lands for me as “women can’t be trusted with power,” which is one of the oldest tropes out there. Maybe this will improve! I’m enjoying Siuan as a key POV character, although I guess now she’s no longer Aes Sedai?

#dril reads wot #wheel of time #wot book spoilers