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thispabulum-blog · 2 years

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This House, She's Quite the Talker

Thoughtful Thursday

Time to extemporate.

It's weird how many normal things are difficult now, the pathological amount of overthinking that goes into every minute of my existence. How much I second-guess every move I make in any of my relationships.

Is this moving too fast? Is this moving too slow? Do I only like this guy because he's similar to my ex? Do I only like him because he's not? Am I comparing this to my last relationship too much? Is it wrong to expect someone to do XYZ? Is XYZ even something that's important to me? Am I talking too much? Am I not talking enough?

It's so hard to relax and let things happen naturally, because I'm worried about repeating past mistakes. I think back to the beginning of my relationship with Dr. Strangelove and how good things were then - or were they? That's the problem; I can't even trust myself to know.

You expect me to believe me, the idiot who got me into that mess in the first place?

I catch myself agonizing over decisions about whether or not to do more nice things for people to be kind and helpful and supportive, because I don't want to get stuck in another situation where I'm being relied upon or expected to do all the work. And when I don't (help out more) I feel guilty, because I'm a nice person and I like to be helpful and contribute. There's no balance, no room for a reasonable interpretation.

On some level I understand that's a thing that's not a problem in a healthy relationship, and no one should expend this much mental energy on considering cleaning a bathroom sink.

It's not even that I want to clean it to be nice, I want to clean it because it's dirty and it's a sink that I use.

There's a thing that I do in my mind that I haven't really talked to other people about enough to know if it's common. Basically, I don't always know what my actual opinions are. Like in school, when they'd give you those little questionnaires on the first day asking what your favorite color was, your favorite food, what you want to do when you grow up. I always just gave the same answers. I was probably 15 before I realized that lasagna isn't my favorite food (for the record, these days I'm almost positive it's pot roast), though it was the answer I'd been giving for years. They're just programmed responses, something to keep me from having to do 5 minutes of deliberation trying to think "oh god, what IS my favorite movie? Is it still Wayne's World?".

When I was registering for classes my freshman year of high school, the counselor asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, and I said "I wanna be a teacher" - to my knowledge the first time I'd ever expressed that. It took three and a half years of college before I thought Wait, do I actually want to do this, or is teaching just the only career I've ever been exposed to for women?

I'm in my thirties now and I still can't figure out if I actually want to get married and have kids someday or if it's just a thing that I feel like is expected of me. Or, contrariwise, if I only think I don't because Dr. Strangelove was so against it.

It's easier to just reflect the opinions of others back to them so that you don't rock the boat. I have a lot of trouble trying to parse my actual thoughts/opinions/wants/needs with relationships and life in general, and separating them from expectations, things I've been socialized to think I should want, tradition, etc. and I really don't think it's supposed to be this hard.

I'm still trying to figure out intimacy and sex. Do I really want it, or am I just excited about having the option? I'm afraid to be the one to bring it up, because I'm painfully aware of the experience of being on the other end, and how it feels gross and objectifying. I'm uncomfortable with the idea of anyone thinking I'm particularly interested in their body, because I don't want them to think I'm only interested in their body. I don't like being the one constantly saying no, but I also don't want to be the one getting turned down.

But rationally, if someone is attracted to you and you're confident in how they feel about you, what's the worst that could happen?

Nothing should be this fucking complicated. This is not the political system of Bosnia and Herzegovina, it's asking a person I've already had sex with if they'd like to have sex with me again. That's it.

One of those Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (no abbreviations, please) techniques that I picked up is the idea of stopping to think:

What am I worried is going to happen here?

What's the worst-case scenario?

And how likely is that to happen?

And what do I do if it does?

It helps in times like these, to have to admit that no, there's nothing in any of my previous interactions with this person that would imply they'd react negatively to this thing in any way, but sure, go off.

I equivocate relentlessly and at times am entirely incapable of giving direct answers because I'm too afraid of saying something that people will disagree with, or expressing a desire that might be inconvenient.

"What do you want to do/eat/watch?"

"Do you want to do XYZ?"

I don't know, because I'm afraid that anything I suggest will get shot down anyway, and we'll end up with what you wanted to do, which I won't object to even though I don't want it, because I don't feel like it's worth the hassle to actually advocate for myself and risk having a bad time because I'll spend so much energy worried that you won't enjoy a thing you didn't want to do that it will render me unable to enjoy it myself.

Maybe. Possibly. If it's not too much trouble and you don't mind and it won't make you think less of me. But not in exactly the way that you described, if there's any way that you could accommodate me. With the concern that if I say yes to something now and then change my mind later, you're going to get frustrated with me. Unless there's something you'd rather do instead. What do you want me to say?

Who the fuck is the person I become in these moments? This vacillating, genuflecting, obsequious pansy?

At times I'll spend anywhere from 5 minutes to 2 weeks waiting to bring something up, delaying and strategizing and rethinking, only for it to be a non-issue or resolved in a considerate and understanding way in 30 seconds flat. Wait, what? What did I do all that for, then?

Quite often these days I see or am around people doing things that Dr. Strangelove would have hated or simply never done -

not washing their hands before and/or after doing anything

marathon-watching tv or movies

sitting in a movie theater somewhere that isn't centered

touching their (or someone else's) feet

saying "Driver's License"

breastfeeding in public

drinking tap water

listening to country music

sleeping without a shirt on

eating store-brand food

wearing boxer briefs

giving something their undivided attention

wearing flip-flops in public

going somewhere for tasty drinks

boiling eggs

buying movie theater snacks

driving to go get food

inviting people to do things spontaneously

talking on the phone while in the room with other people

public displays of affection

handling sharp objects improperly

taking pictures of themselves or with others

wearing pajamas in public

spontaneously deciding to do something

waking up early to do things

leaving groceries in the car while they run another errand

answering unexpected phone calls

etc.

and out of reflex I recoil, before realizing that I don't actually have a problem with any of those things, that it's just secondhand disapproval bleeding through. But I can't help it. My brain is wired to his particular hangups.

Let me tell you some stories.

This is a series of three largely-unrelated events that happened in my life, which I wrote about at one point for a Creative Nonfiction class I took in college. There's definitely a common thread.

Act I: The Playground

The first happened when I was in middle school, probably 13 or so. It was late afternoon in the summer and I was hanging out with some of my friends, twin boys who lived one street over. We were at a playground on the edge of our neighborhood, not doing a whole lot, and there was no one else really around. At one point a dad showed up with two young boys, the younger one maybe 5 or 6, the older one probably closer to 10. Not shocking; it's a playground, after all.

They're doing whatever, and neither of us are really paying attention to the other. The dad has one of the boys climb up onto a piece of playground equipment (which wasn't really meant for that), about 6 feet off the ground. And the kid starts flipping out. He's too high up, he's scared, he refuses to let go. Dad laughs at him and doesn't move to help.

By now I'm paying attention. It's quiet, and this is the only other thing going on. The kid is crying, sobbing, red in the face, holding onto the bar for dear life. There's something about the tone of his dad's voice, the cruelty and indifference of it as he tells the kid to shut up and stop crying, to get down from there on his own, that splits me open in a way I'd never felt before.

What echoed in my mind was the thought of "If this is what this person is willing to let out in public, what must he be like behind closed doors?" I was visibly not okay after that, to the point that even my friends noticed, and I yelled at them for throwing bricks in the street.

The whole way home I was overwhelmed with this inchoate and very melancholy sense of sonder, with the dawning realization that each house we passed in our neighborhood contained people within it who all had their own lives that we knew nothing about, and I hoped that they weren't all as unpleasant as I imagined that family's to be, as unpleasant as my own was.

Act II: The Pavillion

This incident occurred at an outdoor flea market in the summer that I was...judging by the unseasonable knee-high leather combat boots I was wearing in this particular memory, I'm gonna say 15 or 16.

It was of course a million degrees outside, and I was sitting down in a covered pavilion to take a break from walking around in the sun. There were a couple of other people there looking mostly hot and miserable. A kinda cute guy around my age caught my eye from about 8 feet away, and to my surprise (as I was not the most attractive or most approachable girl) he started talking to me.

Or, more accurately, at me.

It quickly became clear that - without being able to be specific - he had some kind of developmental disability. He was nice and friendly and wanted to talk about model airplanes, which I had no particular interest in, but I also didn't want to be rude.

I maintained as much conversation as seemed to be necessary to him as I watched the people around us. An old woman fanning herself lazily with her eyes closed, drinking from a gallon-sized mug with a bendy straw. Two young women comparing jewelry purchases, complaining about how expensive they'd been. A mom and dad with a toddler in between them, fully engrossed in doting on the kid and trying to help him navigate a corn dog with minimal success.

The guy told me about the model airplanes he had at home, some that he had seen at the flea market so far today, and what he was hoping he could get. He kept this up for probably 10 minutes, nothing interesting or spectacular going on, as I kicked up dust with the toe of my boot and wondered how long I needed to stay there to be polite.

Then the mom and dad with the toddler got up, wiped the mustard off this kid, and packed him back into his little stroller. They said to the model airplane guy "Alright, let's go," and he said goodbye to me and walked off with them.

I'd spent at least 10 minutes sitting there, and I hadn't seen them acknowledge him even once until they were leaving. Not an "I think we'll go over to the petting zoo next", not an "Oh you, talking about your model airplanes again", not a "Hey, can you hand me that thing out of the bag?". Not even to look at me in that way that you sometimes see people do when they're worried the person they're with is being too much, where they shoot you a shrugging glance of explanation/apology. At that time I also had a sister who was 10 years younger than me, and I'd never been cold-shouldered to that degree. It hurt me in a way I couldn't verbalize.

I couldn't stop thinking about him for the rest of the day. My mind was confused, and I couldn't understand the things I was feeling. I kept having thoughts like I wanted to date him and kiss him and hold him, but I think really it was just that I felt bad and I wanted to take care of him. Empathy can be tricky like that when you're full of hormones.

It was that feeling again, that reminder that people have lives beyond what we get the chance to see in public, and I was worried that I had caught a glimpse behind the curtain of what seemed like a lonely and sad existence for this friendly and needy guy as he was overshadowed by his cute kid brother.

Act III: The Parking Lot

One time when I was about 22, I had spent the day shopping at the mall, buying some new dresses and just having a day to myself. It was really nice. I decided to get dinner at this Mexican restaurant, and I settled in at a booth with a good book (I'm pretty sure it was one of the Dark Tower series), ordered some fajitas and I was just hanging out living my best life.

And then this middle-aged couple came in. As soon as they walked into the restaurant I noticed them, and if you had asked me in that moment I honestly would not have known why. The hostess seated them right behind me, and I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. I can recognize now that I was hyper-aware of them - of him, really - but I didn't realize it at the time.

The woman made a playful, joking comment about who was going to pay for dinner, and the man shrugged it off. She said something like "Well I guess you can pay, since you've got all those $50 bills in your wallet" and I swear I could almost feel him tense up from the other side of the bench. Maybe I smelled a surge in testosterone, idk. But my brain immediately went into overdrive. He asked her - quite unkindly - what she'd been doing going through his wallet, and why she thought his money was any of her business when he was the one who worked for it.

I don't know how else to explain it except that in that moment I was his wife, and I was painfully aware what the consequences could be for fucking up so badly in this moment.

I got anxious and started trying to think of what I could say to him to smooth it over, to make it better, to go back to 2 minutes ago when things were almost okay. Whatever she said next wasn't very effective and I wished I could take it back and try again.

I couldn't eat my food anymore. I wanted to stop this from happening, and I knew I couldn't. I managed to flag my server down so I could pay, and I left as quickly as I could. I was halfway across the parking lot to the bus stop before I broke down. My legs buckled, I threw up, and I couldn't stop crying long enough to catch my breath. It was like all my emotions were trying to violently exit my body at once. What just happened? I didn't understand what I was feeling, just that I was feeling too much and it wouldn't stop. I couldn't make it stop. I was shaking, I was sobbing, I was terrified.

A few months before this, my very first counselor had diagnosed me with PTSD. I don't know if I admitted this to her, but I didn't believe it. PTSD is for people with serious problems, y'know?

But there was a moment, as I was having a full-blown panic attack in the parking lot of an El Fenix, that I realized "Oh. She was probably right about that."

When I wrote about these things for my class, I believe I described them as times when my heart was broken, which isn't exactly accurate. My brain was broken. My soul was broken.

I should probably read some of the self-help books I buy.

My point is, it's hard sometimes to ignore the irrational side of the Trauma Brain. It's a kind of cognitive dissonance, where there's an intellectual level on which I understand that I'm being irrational, but the irrational part of my brain is the one that's constantly concerned about my safety, so it's hard to ignore, because nothing is more important or (in my experience) less-guaranteed than being safe.

I'm constantly playing out scenarios 10 steps ahead. I agonize over everything I say to make sure it can't be interpreted in a bad way. I assume that everyone I interact with will find the least-charitable way to receive my actions. I'm positive that everyone secretly hates me and talks about me behind my back. I know that the world will fall apart if I don't do the 3 or 4 things I've convinced myself are essential. I'm convinced that my friends only tolerate me.

I'm so anxious about absolutely everything all of the time.

One of the most frustrating things about this, other than everything, is that almost every single person I'm involved with - either platonically or romantically - is incredible and kind and patient and understanding. I (intentionally) don't surround myself with people who get angry easily, or who make me feel bad about my choices or opinions. But it doesn't make the Trauma Brain any quieter.

If I'm lucky, there's a good 10 or 15 minutes a day when I can just stare at Cuddlebug's face and turn my brain off; block the rest out and forget to worry about everything.

Does anyone want to bring me some sesame cake?

#dating #poly #relationships #long #long read #long post #unhealthy relationships #healthy relationships #ptsd #Spotify

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poisonouswritings · 2 years

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M4 and Horror Movies

GN!reader, fluff, mentions of potentially upsetting movies, imagine trying to Netflix and Chill with someone who has no idea what Netflix is

(This takes place in the Good End AU, where MC and Co. can travel between Earth and Astraea at will)

Felix

I would say,, ghost or witch movies. I think you'd want to go with movies that are like, horror/drama types. Something with more emotions than scares. Also just anything Weird. I think he'd really enjoy movies that don't have a clear story because he can make up his own interpretation.

My suggestions would be IT Chapters 1 & 2 (2017 & 2019), The VVitch (2015), Annihilation (2018), Black Swan (2010), Color Out Of Space (2019) etc.

You guys have A Blanket Lasagna, in the sense that there are layers of different types. Fleece, satin, cotton, flannel, a crocheted throw. Felix gets cold easy. Leave him alone. If you're hot then you can just shove all the blankets onto him. He Will Thrive.

Stella is lurking in the shadows. She keeps randomly hopping onto things or knocking things over. She has insane dramatic timing and basically keeps jumpscaring you guys.

You Will Not be able to talk much. He's really focused on what's happening. Keeps crying at the sad parts. Will hold your hands and be blubbering because in his head he's managed to come with a Significantly Sadder Twist than what actually happens. I hope you have several boxes of tissues at the ready.

Anisa

I'm evil for this but,, Anisa is fascinated with Earth and the amazing things humans here have done?? Show her tales of human horror.

She wouldn't really like much gore, so I'm gonna suggest movies like The Lodge (2019), Platform (2019), The Purge series (2013-present), Candyman (either 1992 or 2021), Midsommar (2019), Silence of the Lambs (1991), etc.

I think it would both depress and fascinate her! The amount of creativity the people of Earth have to torture each other (or depict torture at least) is,, disturbing. But amazing.

Maybe don't let Ayanna find out or else she's gonna continue to distrust you

You guys are definitely cuddling. You're the smol spoon. She's squeezing the hell out of you and hiding her face in your shoulder during the scary parts, but still peeks at the screen.

Her hands are wrapped around your waist,, pick one of her hands up and kiss the inside of her wrist,,, it calms her down

Sage

Definitely horror/comedies or horror/action. Something fast paced to keep his attention a bit!! But he's still not gonna make it through the movie.

I would suggest stuff like Mandy (2018), Funny Games (1997), Jennifer's Body (2009), Rubber (2010), Shaun of the Dead (2004), etc. You could try showing him the Firefly Saga (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, 3 From Hell) but honestly I think he's gonna like,, zone out except for when Baby is doing stuff. And then get grossed out at the weirder stuff.

Y'know how,, being scared makes your adrenaline go wild and you tend to fall in love/get turned on a lot easier? Yeah so Sage is definitely nuzzling up to you and getting a little handsy.

Although some of the jumpscares actually do startle him, and then he's making a little squeak noise and hiding in your chest and his tail is wrapping around you and the tip is flicking around like crazy. He recovers very quickly and tries to play it off like nothing but for a few minutes after he's gripping you a lot tighter.

If you let him pick the movies then be prepared for him to just choose whatever's title screen looks the brightest/most chaotic

Rime

Am I saying he would like zombie movies? No. Am I saying you should show him zombie movies and be like 'dats you' every time? Yes. But for what he would actually enjoy, I'd say,, anything cultist/religious. I think he'd find the faith aspect both familiar and really really interesting. He'd like getting in the characters heads and understanding why they did what they did

I'd recommend,, Saint Maud (2019), Carrie (1976), The Lodge (2019), The Wicker Man (1973), Rosemary's Baby (1968), The Invitation (2015), Children of the Corn (1984), etc.

Does not get startled by jumpscares. I particularly good one might make him flinch very slightly but overall he's more focused on the story than the scares.

I think it'd be a little weird for him. He worked with cultists so he definitely recognizes a lot of the behaviors and fanaticism. Seeing it from this perspective, it kinda helps him realize how disturbing all that stuff was. It's a long period of introspection.

If he gets a little too deep in his thoughts, try to touch his tail. It surprises him of course but it also kinda shocks him out of his spiral. Being playful and casual with him definitely helps.

Remind him he's no longer like that. Smooch his cheek. Call him Bambi. He rolls his eyes and (affectionately and jokingly) threatens you to knock it off but really he loves it.

#fictif last legacy #last legacy #felix iskandar escellun #felix escellun #fictif felix #felix x reader #anisa anka #fictif anisa #anisa x reader #sage lesath #fictif sage #sage x reader #rime solano varela #rime varela #fictif rime #rime x reader #imagines #ozzy daydreams

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harrysweasleys · 3 years

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a little more touch my body // b.b

summary: babie!!! hi!! may i please request a fic based on into you by ariana grande pls? i'll leave the rest up to you, please surprise me (you can also choose if you want to write it for sam, steve, or bucky) thank you so much !!! <3

warnings: lil bit of sexy times, fatws spoilers if you haven’t watched, mentions of alcohol (beer), language

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i chose to write this for bucky!! hope you all enjoy!

“Well, don’t you two look like a sight for sore eyes?”

You huffed out a laugh at your own comment as you stepped down onto the boat, making sure to grip the ledge behind you to avoid losing your balance as the structure bobbed against the tides.

Sam and Bucky sat looking exhausted, each with a beer in their hand, faces slick with sweat and grease. You could nearly smell them from here.

“Where were you all afternoon? Said you’d help,” Bucky raised an eyebrow as he looked you up and down, beer bottle against his lips as he took another sip. As if he knew what he was doing, he leaned his arm back behind him, muscles and tanned skin glistening under the late afternoon sunlight. You peeled your eyes away from the sight just in time to catch the end of his question.

You placed your hands on your hips, giving him a grin, “Sorry to ditch, I was in town with Sarah picking up some stuff. But clearly, I’m devastated that I couldn’t be here to get all gross with you guys.”

Part of you was rather bummed you missed the action. You’d have loved nothing more than to be working alongside Bucky, both of you working up a sweat and sneaking in little touches here and there while Sam looked the opposite way. Little touches that would never really amount to more, but were fun in the moment.

You couldn’t count how many weeks — no, scratch that — months, that you and Bucky had been building up this tension. The winks across the room, the lingering touches when you walked by one another, the inappropriate innuendos and jokes when no one was around. Except that one time that you thought no one was around and ended up subjecting poor Sam to your crude jokes over your earpiece.

It was torture, but the best kind. Bucky knew exactly how to wind you up, and vice versa. Did you ever think this would amount to more? Probably not. You had overheard countless conversations between Buck and Steve about how he wasn’t ready to take a step towards intimacy just yet. Not so soon after regaining his mind and coming back from five years out of extinction, to be more specific.

You couldn’t blame him, though. And you weren’t going to push for more. Not if it made him uncomfortable. No, for now, you were having a blast bubbling up the sexual tension.

“I see that,” Sam motioned his bottle in your direction, “This is an act of betrayal, I hope you know.”

You rolled your eyes, sitting down between the two. The wooden surface was boiling under your legs, so you lifted your knees to keep your skin from burning.

“Oh, drama queen,” you grumbled, reaching your hand towards the cooler. You hadn’t done much physical work today, but the weather was still impossibly hot and a nice cool drink would help for sure.

As soon as you lifted the cooler lid, it came slamming down.

“Buck, what the hell—,” you turned your gaze to the super soldier, a small smirk on his lips.

“Cool drinks are for the workers, sorry,” he was clearly fighting a shit-eating grin, much to your annoyance. His hand was gripped tightly around the cooler lid, thumb brushing against your own skin.

“You two are going to drink all six?” you scoffed, tilting your head to the side as if challenging him.

He raised his eyebrows and nodded his head, pulling his hand away from yours and taking another sip of his beer as if emphasizing his point before speaking, “I think you forget how high my tolerance is.”

“Ah, of course,” you nodded slowly, “How could I forget? Silly me.”

Bucky shot you a wink, leaning back against the edge of the boat. The angle of the sun was hitting him perfectly and you wondered if the heavens above were testing you. The dark blue of his shirt accented his eyes, shining brightly as they looked you over. His dark hair had a few natural highlights — probably thanks to spending nearly a week here under the Louisiana sunshine.

He was so distracting you nearly forgot Sam was behind you until Sarah called his name.

“Sam, can you help me out for a second?” her voice was distant over the sound of the water hitting the boat and your own heart beating a million miles an hour.

He stood up with a grunt, following after her. And leaving you and Bucky alone.

“Just a sip?” you asked, eyes darting back to the cooler before meeting his again, “I’ll take one little sip and then you can have the rest of the bottle.” A fake pout made its way to your lips and you had to fight a smirk at the way his eyes darted down to watch before snapping back up to yours.

“Nope,” he popped the p, giving you another wink. As he brought the bottle back up to his lips, you scooted closer to him, reaching your hand out and taking it out of his grasp before it could reach his lips.

“What—,”

Before he could finish his sentence, you brought the bottle to your lips, giving him a wink before taking a rather large sip. The taste wasn’t great — it was the cheap beer that you guys had picked up yesterday at the corner store — but you were just trying to rile him up. You hadn’t really wanted the drink that badly.

Bucky’s eyes were practically glued to you. You could swear he didn’t even blink as you maintained eye contact, handing him the bottle back with a small wink.

His tongue slid out to wet his lips, suddenly fidgety under the sun. You internally pat yourself on the back, but you didn’t show it. Instead, you maintained a steady staring contest with Buck, not sure who was going to crack first.

God, your heart was beating so fast. Your skin was so warm. You could feel the back of your neck begin to sweat and you could swear that your hands were just as clammy. How did you ever get anything done around this man before?

“I feel like I’m interrupting,” Sam — curse him and his horrible timing — stepped back onto the boat, causing it to sway a bit under his steps.

“What? — It’s — we’re fine,” Bucky stuttered with a hoarse voice, clearing his throat as if you hadn’t noticed. Once again, an internal pat on the back.

“Yeah, okay,” Sam chuckled, “Whatever you guys say. Just keep it PG around my nephews.”

You should be embarrassed by Sam’s jabs, but you couldn’t really bring yourself to feel that way. Instead, you were only focused on how close Bucky was to you. You could smell him — he didn’t smell too great right now, to be honest — but that wasn’t the point. Publicly, you guys never really sat or stayed close to each other. It was more professional if you guys didn’t show whatever was happening between the two of you, really.

But now, relaxed and away from danger, you were both letting your guard down. Sam was sitting across from you, poking fun, but neither of you scooted away from the other like you usually would. It was nice, you thought. This little sense of normalcy. Feeling like you were just two adults insanely attracted to each other instead of two busy Avengers on a break.

You brought yourself back to the moment as you stood up, giving them both a little smile, “I’ll give you guys some guy time, I’ll go help Sarah with dinner.”

Sam gave you a little wave, Bucky keeping his mouth shut as you made your way off the boat, holding onto the little railing as you made your way back onto land. You pulled your shirt down, covering the little bit of your stomach that had been exposed while scooting closer to Bucky.

Shaking your head and trying to un-rile yourself, you made your way over to the Wilson household, a small skip in your step as you did so.

The lasagna and garlic bread that you and Sarah collaborated on went down quick — unsurprisingly, since Sarah had more tips and tricks in the kitchen than you could possibly hope to count — and before you knew it, you were bidding everyone goodnight.

Your pull out couch in the basement was calling your name and normally you couldn’t wait to get under the covers and snooze right off. Except tonight, as soon as you got under the covers, you felt wide awake.

Bucky was in the other room, a small door separating the both of you. You didn’t usually talk after everyone had gone to bed, not wanting to wake anyone up or prevent either of you from getting the proper sleep, but tonight you couldn’t help it. You were practically itching to go over and see him, and you doubted you’d get any sleep if you didn’t. It was like a magnet was pulling the two of you together and the harder you pulled away, the stronger the tug was.

You slipped on a pair of socks after getting out of the bed, the fresh air of the basement hitting your body like a gentle embrace. It had been stupidly warm under the blankets just moments before, so the coolness was very much welcome against your skin.

Your footsteps were muffled by the carpeted floor as you made your way to the door separating you both, knuckles gently knocking against the wood before you could take a second to think about what you were doing. If Bucky was asleep, you’d just be waking him up, and that wouldn’t be very nice, would it? However, if he was awake, what would you even say?

“Yeah?”

Bucky’s voice was soft on the other side of the door, and the creaking hinges broke the beautiful peace as you opened it up, eyes struggling to see in the dark. A small lamp was lit on Bucky’s bedside table, his own blankets tossed off the bed as he sat on the edge. He wore a pair of Sam’s pyjama pants — which you had teased him about a couple of times now — but he wasn’t wearing a shirt. That fact alone was enough to get you to stumble on your own two feet.

“Were you sleeping?” you asked, trying to keep your voice as quiet as possible. You remembered Sarah mentioning the basement ceiling wasn’t properly insulated and voices very easily carried throughout the house.

“No,” he replied, eyes meeting yours in the comfortable darkness of the room. You suddenly felt awfully nervous under his gaze, picking at your fingernails as you leaned against the doorframe.

“Okay, that’s good,” you nodded awkwardly, mind still completely blank on whatever it was that you wanted to say. Bucky didn’t seem to mind the awkward silence, though, his eyes scanning over your body slowly just to make sure you were alright.

“I don’t really know why I’m here,” you admitted, finally picking your gaze up off the floor to look at him. His lips curved up into a small smirk and he patted the spot next to him on the bed. Trudging over slowly, you could feel the temperature in the room rise up by what felt like a thousand degrees before you finally sat next to him. He smelled better this time — thanks to the shower that you were so tempted to hop in on — and you could feel the comfortable warmth of his skin next to you as the mattress dipped under your weight.

“That’s okay,” he replied after a good long moment, “You don’t have to have a reason.”

You sat facing him, close enough that you could see the steady rise and fall of his chest, his skin holding a warm glow in the cozy atmosphere of the room. He was so painfully beautiful that you didn’t think words could capture the image.

Feeling awfully brave, you slid one of your hands over to his, your warm fingers sliding against the coolness of his vibranium ones. You knew he couldn’t feel your touch, but he shivered anyway, causing you to slide your hand a little closer to his actual skin. His hand reached quickly across and grabbed yours, intertwining your fingers together. Your head fell against his shoulder, resting your forehead against the spot where skin met metal. Without thinking, you lifted your head and pressed a kiss against the same spot, immediately regretting it when you felt his entire body tense up.

“Sorry — I don’t know what I was thinking,” you stuttered, pulling away.

Before you could get too far, you felt both of Bucky’s hands slide around your waist, tugging you onto his lap in an effortless motion. Your thighs landed on either side of him — practically straddling him — and your chest was nearly flushed against his. His forehead fell against yours and you swore you could hear his thoughts. The internal battle he was having with himself on how far he was willing to take this.

You brought one of your hands up to his hair, raking your fingernails against the sensitive skin at the base of his neck and watched his shoulders sag as he let out a sigh. How you two could go from being ready to rip each other’s clothes off on the boat to this, being intimate and close without having done anything yet, you’d never understand.

His hands slid under your pyjama top, gripping your waist in a way to let you know he wasn’t planning on letting go. And you were more than okay with that.

“Buck,” you whispered, the words hanging in the air before he pulled his forehead away from yours and met your lips with his. His kiss was hot — heavy, and you could feel just how much he had been holding back. He gripped you tight, making sure you felt exactly how badly he wanted this. And you felt the same, hands on either side of his face as you pressed your lips and body against his.

You guys went from having an intimate, gentle touching moment, to having a battle of teeth and tongues within thirty seconds. He let out a low groan as you tried to get closer to him, rocking your hips against his. You hadn’t totally done it on purpose, your goal mostly just to be as close to him as possible, but you weren’t regretting the action one bit.

His hands slid further up your shirt until it was tugged off of your body, breaking the feverish kiss for one quick moment before reconnecting at full force. Your mind was blank, numb, but your belly was erupting with every butterfly in existence as he slid his hands around your exposed torso. You didn’t even register the coolness of the metal — too focused on how hot you felt at the moment. He was grabbing at every bit of you that he possibly could, and you were doing the same to him.

For someone who probably didn’t do much self care, his skin was beautifully soft under your touch, hands sliding smoothly down his back and chest as you continued to kiss the life out of each other. It was intoxicating and you swore you’d be addicted to him after tonight.

He somehow managed to flip the both of you over so that he was hovering on top of you, using his forearms to hold himself up as his lips trailed sloppy kisses down your jawline, your neck, to your collarbones. Everything he did just felt so good, so right, that you could hardly remember where you even were at the moment.

Your eyes fluttered shut as he continued down on his path, leaving kisses in every possible spot that was available.

There was no way in hell you were returning to your own bed tonight.

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes one shots

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eldritch-obscuritea · 4 years

Text

The Fog In The Morning, Part 2

AN: This one took longer than I expected, but here it is :) Also, I guess I’m doing tags for this now? Let me know if anyone wants to be included!

Tag(s): @scary-lasagna

Word Count: 973

Content: none that I can think of

First Part Here!

Liu stood again in the corner of the school’s parking lot. A gentle breeze blew pink petals into a small cyclone, lifting his light brown hair slightly. He squinted as he scanned the sea of recently liberated elementary school students. Liu wanted to get home, he was all too ready to be done with St. Mackillop’s for good, but he had to wait for Jeff.

Jeff was nowhere to be seen, probably obscured by energetic kids and the legs of their parents, but Liu did spot a familiar mop of red hair. The kid was easily visible due to his height, and apparently had a good vantage point since he saw Liu as well. His brow furrowed when his grey eyes met Liu’s green ones, and after hesitating for a moment he began to approach him, one hand raised in greeting.

“Hey.”

Liu nodded in response.

The boy paused, waiting for Liu to speak. When it became clear that Liu had no intention of doing so, he rocked back on his feet and sighed, pushing his red hair back from his forehead. Then he cleared his throat, and Liu noticed with some surprise that the kid looked almost as awkward as he felt.

“Look,” said the boy, “I’m sorry about what happened.” He paused again, but Liu didn’t reply. “Really.” He shifted, putting his hands in the pockets of the school uniform and looking at his shoes before he returned his gaze to Liu. “I just wanted to say I didn’t mean bad by it.”

Liu looked up at the redhead, who was pushing his hair back again. Nervous habit? All in all, he seemed genuine enough so Liu opened his mouth and was about to say that it was alright, that maybe he was crazy, when he heard Jeff shouting from across the parking lot.

“You get away from Liu, you arse!”

The boy jumped, looking around. He saw Jeff storming towards them and turned quickly, starting to speed walk away. Before he disappeared around the corner of the school building, he stopped, looked back at Liu, and mouthed a “sorry” before he hurried out of sight.

As Liu watched him leave, Jeff ran up, panting slightly. He scowled at the redhead’s retreating figure, then huffed and turned to Liu. “Kid’s lucky I didn’t get here any faster. No teachers to stop me, and even if they wanted to, it’s the last day of school.” He adjusted the straps on his backpack, and nodded at Liu. “You ready?”

Liu’s eyes flicked back to where the boy had disappeared. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.” He started walking, and Jeff followed suit.

The sun was bright, but not uncomfortably so as they approached the exit to the parking lot. It glinted off the cheap chainlink fence, and Liu thought to himself that Mackillop’s wasn’t so bad, even if he was glad to be done with the place.

“Man, you’re lucky,” Jeff sighed.

Liu nodded. Jeff shrugged, then stretched, his arms reaching high above his head. “Really though,” he continued, “next year shouldn’t be so bad. A buncha teachers aren’t gonna be there. Oh, and that kid, whats-his-face? He’s leaving too.”

Liu looked at him, curious. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Jeff looked up at the sky, shading his eyes. “Told him that if I ever saw him near you again he’d regret it.” His face broke out into a grin. “Man, I kinda wish he didn’t listen. I gave him a black eye for weeks, didya see that? And I was the most popular kid in school for even longer!”

Liu shook his head slightly, but otherwise stayed quiet. Noticing his subdued behavior, Jeff punched Liu lightly on the arm. “Least you’ll be out of there, huh?”

“Yeah,” said Liu. He smiled slightly.

The two boys got home without much incident, and Liu pushed open the door.

“Hellooo!” Jeff hollered. “Guess who’s gonna be here all day every day for the next three months!”

A somewhat skinny man rolled into the hallway on an old office chair, smiling at the two boys. “Well it certainly can’t be my two boys, Neff and Stu!”

Liu rolled his eyes, grinning. “C’mon Dad, you know that’s not what our names are.”

The man tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Jen and Mew?”

“Oh geez, now you’re just making stuff up!”

“Yeah,” added Jeff. “After all, our names are clearly Leff and Jiu.”

Liu mimed gagging, saying “Euch, I know that a bunch of girls in your class were mashing your name up with theirs and I want no part in it. That’s gross.”

Jeff snorted. “You’re just jealous.” He turned towards Mr. Woods, nodding in the direction of the kitchen. “We’re gonna fix us something to eat, wanna join?”

He shook his head, grey-streaked hair flopping slightly. “Would if I could Jeff, but I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on. You two don’t burn the house down, alright?”

“We’ll do our best! Good luck with your work.” Mr. Woods gave Liu an appreciative, tired smile, and rolled back into his office. The off-white door creaked loudly as it shut behind him, leaving the two boys in the hallway.

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Man, Dad’s crazy. It’s our last day of school for Chrissake! I mean, of course Mom’s not here, but still...” He sighed, and Liu could see the concealed disappointment on his face.

“Hey, it’s fine,” said Liu cheerily, gently leading his brother away from the office door and hopefully further out of earshot of their father. He winked conspiratorially at Jeff. “Listen, if he doesn’t have dinner with us then he can’t say that we have too much ice cream, now can he?”

“Of course it’s fine! Nothin’s making it otherwise,” Jeff scoffed, but Liu observed with some comfort that Jeff half-walked, half-skipped into the kitchen.

#creepypasta #creepypasta hc #jeff the killer #jeffrey woods #liu woods #homicidal liu #rewrite #the fog in the morning #backstory #creepypasta au

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quickspinner · 4 years

Text

Second Chance - Chapter 3 Making Time

“You’re so gross,” Juleka muttered as she sat down next to Luka at the conference table.

“What?” he chuckled.

“You have a ridiculous smile on your face and you’re humming.”

“So? I’m happy.”

“You have lipstick on your face.”

“Nice try,” Luka snorted. “I didn’t see her this morning. She’s really busy.” He leaned his head on his hand, the ridiculous smile returning as he doodled some music notes on his notebook.

“Oh, is she,” Juleka deadpanned.

“Don’t be like that, Jule, we’ve both made time to see each other. I’ve got no complaints.”

“That’s what you said last time. Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been getting up early to see her. You’re going to wear yourself out, Luka.”

“It’s the only time I have to see her without rearranging my whole schedule.” Luka sighed, throwing his pen down on the conference table. “This is why Rose is my favorite, she’d think it was romantic. What do you want from me, Juleka?”

“I want you to not make an idiot out of yourself and get your heart broken again,” Juleka snapped. “Also to quit cancelling things and rearranging the schedule before you really piss us all off.”

“I’m a big boy, I can take it,” Luka shot back. “Why are you such a pessimist? Everything’s going great. We’re both busy but that’s on me as much as her. We’re making it work. I’ve never asked you guys to move stuff around before and it won’t be for long, just until I can get everything balanced again—”

“Which will never happen if you don’t tell Lucille why you’ve become such a flake.”

“—And there’s no Adrien this time. I will tell Lucille, just...not yet.”

“How sure are you that she’s over him?” Juleka looked at him with genuine concern and he resisted the urge to tell her to mind her own business.

“She broke up with him two years ago before she left on her internship and she’s had boyfriends since then.”

“You’ve had girlfriends since you supposedly moved on too.”

“Yes, but Marinette and I never actually dated, it’s not the same.” Luka sighed through his nose, trying to decide how much was okay to tell her. Not that he really knew the details. “It’s not my place to talk about why they broke up, but I know it was final. She’s gotten closure that I never had.” Luka glanced at the door a little nervously. “Can we drop this before the others get here? Marinette’s never been dishonest with me and I trust her. What happened before, it was just...bad luck and bad timing. Let it go.”

Juleka opened her mouth but closed it again as the door opened and Luka’s assistant Lucille walked in with several nervous looking young men and a young woman who looked positively starstruck. They had every right to be nervous. Luka and Juleka were notoriously picky about what they permitted to carry the Couffaine name, even in the interests of charity, especially after that incident with Juleka’s former classmate. He tried to smile and put them at ease as he normally would, but his heart just wasn’t in it.

Luka felt guilty that he was having a hard time keeping his mind on the presentation. He jumped slightly as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out, intending to turn it off, when he saw Marinette was calling him. He really ought to decline the call and call her back...

“I’m so sorry, excuse me just one minute,” he said, getting up from his chair, equally ignoring Lucille’s surprise and Juleka’s eyeroll. He stepped outside the room and answered the phone. “Hey, Marinette, what’s up?”

“Luka, I’m desperate for some peace and quiet before I lose my mind,” Marinette said, and he could hear the strain in her voice. “Do you know of a closet somewhere I can lock myself in that won’t have other people stampeding through constantly? I’ve tried everywhere I can think of and I just can’t seem to get away from—from people!”

“You can use my place,” he said immediately. “I’ll be out all day anyway. Make yourself at home.”

“But—“

“I’ll text you the address, and I’ll call the security desk and tell them to let you in. I won’t even be home until after seven at the earliest, so it’s no big deal.”

“I—but—Oh, thank you so much, Luka,” she said, and he could hear the tears.

“Marinette, baby, don’t cry,” he said soothingly, “I’m happy to do it. You should have called me before you got so stressed out about it. Don’t feel like you have to be gone before I get home, okay? Take as much time as you need. And maybe take a nap while you’re at it, there’s a guest bedroom down the hall on the right. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” she sniffled. “I’ll be fine. I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I’m falling apart like this.”

“When was the last time you ate?” Luka asked. There was no answer. Luka rolled his eyes. “Have you at least had something to drink recently?”

“I had some coffee a couple of hours ago...” Marinette replied uncertainly.

Luka had to laugh, leaning against the wall and covering his mouth as he glanced at the door to the conference room.

“Hey! Quit laughing at me, Luka!” He could picture her pouting face.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just I’m usually on the other end of this conversation,” he chuckled. “Marinette, go find yourself something to eat, drink some water, and then go to my place and have a nap. Then you can get up and work in peace and quiet, okay? Juleka and Rose live across the hall, we have the whole top floor of the building to ourselves, so if you need anything, knock on their door. Juleka’s here with me but I think Rose is home today.”

“You’re the best, Luka.”

“Anything for you, Marinette. Go take care of yourself so you can do your best work. My schedule’s packed today but I’ll check on you later if I can.” He hung up before she could protest, made a quick call to his building’s security team, and stepped back into the meeting, texting the address as he walked back to his seat. “I’m so sorry about that, what did I miss?”

When he got home that night it was almost eight, and the door opened on a smell that made his stomach growl. Marinette, he thought, and noted the papers strewn all over his living room as he went toward the kitchen. Sure enough, he found Marinette there, taking some kind of casserole out of the oven.

“Wow, something smells amazing,” Luka said, stopping at the entrance.

“Lasagna,” she said, smiling at him as she put the dish on the stove. “It reheats well, so I figured if you didn’t get home until later it would still be good, but your timing is perfect.”

“You’re supposed to be working on your presentation, not cooking for me,” he chided gently, folding his arms.

“I did work, and I got more done in the last few hours than I have in the last week. Now I’m taking a break to make dinner for the man who saved me from a nervous breakdown. Where are your plates?”

“Was it really that bad?” he asked sympathetically, opening the appropriate cabinet and handing Marinette two plates. “You’re eating with me, right? It’d be cruel to make me eat alone.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

“It really was that bad,” she sighed as she served. “Alya’s been great to let me stay with her, but she works from the apartment too, and there’s so many phone calls and deliveries and people coming and going, and it’s even worse at the bakery. I’m used to crowded work environments, so I’m not really sure why I’m having such a hard time, but I just can’t concentrate at all. I was so blocked, I couldn’t get anything done on the presentation outline, none of the design sketches were working, and I have to get this all done by next week so that I can send it to the production line at Gabriel. I can’t miss that deadline or the clothes won’t be ready in time for the show, not to mention how totally unprofessional it would look. I really think I would have lost it if I hadn’t called you. What do you want to drink?”

“Just water’s fine. You would have found a solution, you always do, but I’m glad I could help. You’re always welcome here,” Luka said, retrieving silverware and napkins. He gestured to the small table under the kitchen window. “You mind eating in here? I hardly ever use the dining room and I think the table in there is covered in paperwork right now.”

“It is, and this is fine.” Marinette put the plates down on the small table. “I didn’t realize rock stars had so much paperwork.”

“It’s endless,” Luka groaned as he sat down. “Sometimes I wonder what I pay my lawyers for. Some of it’s because Juleka and I wanted to keep some control over what’s being signed off on in our names. It’s worse right now because they save up all this stuff for when we’re not on tour. So right now we’re cutting tracks for the next album, ironing out places and dates for the next tour, dealing with all the crap that came up during the last tour, plus pitches for products and events people want us to endorse. It’s a lot but I just can’t bring myself to hand it all over to my manager. I trust her, but I don’t know, apparently under this laid-back rocker exterior, there’s a real control freak.” He took a bite. “Wow, Marinette, this is great.”

“I’m glad you like it. I guess it probably doesn’t help that your first experience was with Bob Roth,” Marinette said sympathetically.

“Got it in one,” Luka grimaced. “That was definitely a learning experience and I don’t ever want to be in that position again. Anyway, from the looks of my living room, you made it through your block.”

Marinette winced. “Sorry about that, I’ll clean it up before I leave.”

“Why don’t you just leave it?” Luka shrugged. “Use my place as long as you need to, I don’t mind. I really only need the bedroom and the studio - that’s the room through the double doors off the living room. I’ll show you the spare bedroom before you leave, you can set up whatever you need in there and leave it as long as you want. Just try not to wake me up if you get here before noon, I tend to work late and sleep late.” Luka winked at her, but Marinette looked uncertain.

“That’s awfully generous, Luka, are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Not at all.” Luka bent backwards in his chair and reached one long arm out for the drawer at the end of the counter. He rummaged blindly in it until he felt what he wanted, and then knocked it closed again. He put a keyring on the table between them. “Here, so you can just come and go as you please. There might be press, though,” he warned her. “We’re lucky right now because they’ve all been too obsessed with the XY cheating scandal to pay any attention to me, but that story’s not going to last forever and eventually someone’s going to notice us. They’ll say all sorts of things if you’re coming and going at all hours.”

Marinette shrugged. “Oh well. I am trying to get in your pants, so they won’t be stretching the truth too much.”

Luka choked on his lasagna, and Marinette nearly did too as she snorted and laughed hysterically.

“You are so evil,” he muttered when he could breathe again, face bright red as he drained his entire glass of water.

“One of has to be,” she replied impishly.

“Speaking of evil,” Luka said once he could breathe normally again, “I need to talk to you about Juleka.”

“Juleka?” Marinette echoed with some surprise.

“Yeah. She’s...not super happy that I’m seeing you.”

“Oh,” Marinette said, guilt flooding her face. “I guess that’s to be expected, you two were always pretty protective of each other.”

“Well, she doesn’t get a say in this,” he said, motioning between them. “At the same time…”

“I’ll talk to her,” Marinette nodded. “I should have before now, actually. She’s been my friend for longer than you, after all.”

“I would like it if you two could clear the air,” Luka admitted. “I’d like you to be friends again, But don’t feel like you have to put up with any crap from her either.” He rolled his eyes. “You’ll have to tell me all about her version of the intentions speech, I’m sure it’ll be entertaining.”

Marinette giggled. “I bet.”

Luka smiled. “Thanks for understanding, Marinette.”

They finished dinner and cleaned up together while Luka told Marinette about his day, and then Marinette cleaned off a space on the sofa where they could sit, and showed Luka some of the designs she’d been working on. He put his arm around her waist and she cuddled up to his side.

Marinette put the designs down and leaned into him. They sat quietly for a minute before Marinette spoke again. “Luka?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you play for me? Like you used to. Like we talked about before? Just you and me.”

“I’d love to.”

He got up and went to his music studio. Luka reached for his sleek, custom painted, professional quality instrument, and then paused. Walking past the stand, he rummaged around for a moment and found a battered old case that held worn but well cared for black and white guitar. He took it from the case and ran his hand over it affectionately. A quick test showed that it was still in good condition, though terribly out of tune. It didn’t take him long to get it back in shape. Luka carried the old guitar back out to the living room and sat back down on the couch next to Marinette.

He closed his eyes for a moment, listening, then started to play. Her breath caught and her eyes closed, hand lifting to her heart just as it had all those years ago.

“It’s different,” she observed.

“We’re different,” he answered softly. The song that flowed from her heart to his hands was richer, fuller, and his ear and his fingers were quicker, more experienced, letting him catch and render subtleties that had eluded him before. His eyes closed again and he lost himself in it.

Marinette slid closer to him, slipping partially behind him to drape herself over his back, and rested her chin on his shoulder. He turned his face to nuzzle her cheek, still playing, and she put her arms around his neck delicately, careful not to impede the motion of his arms.

“Beautiful,” she murmured.

“It’s you.”

He felt her smile rather than saw it. “I didn’t actually mean the song. I mean you, the way you play. I love watching you perform, but when you play like this, it’s just...different. I can watch your hands and—I don’t know, I’m not explaining well.”

“No, I know what you mean,” Luka said, keeping his voice low as well, “It’s more intimate this way. I’m not up on a stage. I’m not trying to create a reaction, I’m just playing along with you. I’m focused on you and no one else. God, I missed this, you have no idea how good it feels. I feel like I’m charging a battery I didn’t know was empty.”

“You’ve been lonely,” Marinette said sympathetically.

“I guess I have.” He nuzzled her cheek again. “Thanks for reaching out to me, Marinette. I’m so glad you’re here.”

She turned her face and kissed him, lightly at first but it lit an unexpected fire in him and he kissed her back fiercely, guitar strings twanging inelegantly as his focus abruptly shifted. Marinette laid her hand over his on the frets, stilling the fractured song. Her fingers slid over his knuckles as she moved to push the guitar lightly away. Luka obeyed the unspoken request, laying the guitar aside and turning more fully towards her, burying his fingers in her hair, tracing her jaw with his thumb.

“Luka,” she breathed just as he kissed her, and oh, he could drink his name from her lips forever—

I could drink my name from your lips forever...

He tried, he really did, to ignore the music suddenly swelling in him, to put it away for later, but he couldn’t. With a slight whine in the back of his throat, he broke away from Marinette. “Sorry, I’m sorry, just a minute, I need—“ he turned and caught up a colored pencil she had left on the coffee table and flipped over the nearest drawing, scribbling on the back of the page.

“Luka, what are you doing?” Marinette cried. “I need that.”

“I’ll make a copy, I just need—“ he broke off, too distracted to finish as he counted beats in his head. Dimly he was aware of Marinette’s frustrated huff, and then of her resigned sigh as her warmth and weight settled against his side.

“Do you want me to leave?” she asked.

“No! No, I just, I gotta get this down, it won’t take long I promise.”

Marinette giggled, and kissed his cheek. “Sure it won’t. Look, I’m going to head on back to Alya’s and get some sleep. Just don’t mess up any more of my sketches, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry, um, there’s a notebook in the drawer of the end table there, can you grab it for me?” Luka drummed a rhythm pattern on his knee with his fingers, lips moving silently.

“I’ll definitely be back in the morning,” Marinette said as she slipped the notebook under his hand, “but I’ll remember what you said about waking you up. Give me that please, those are expensive.” She tugged her colored pencil out of his hand and replaced it with the pen that had been in the notebook coil.”

“Sorry,” he tore himself out of the music long enough to look up and meet her kiss. “I’m really sorry about this, Marinette, I’ll—“

“Don’t say you’ll make it up to me,” she said sharply, and he blinked. She sighed and bent to kiss him again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. We’ll talk about it later, but I promise I understand. Thanks for helping me out today. Hopefully I’ll see you before you have to leave in the morning. Good night, Luka.”

“Do you want me to call you a car?”

She shook her head. “I’ll be fine. Don’t get up, I’ll see myself out. Make your music, rock star.”

“Right,” he said, looking back down at the paper, already getting sucked back in. “Text and let me know you got home safe."

“I will. See you tomorrow, Luka.”

“I can’t believe this,” he sighed as the door shut behind her, raking his fingers through his hair. At the same time, he smiled at the paper in front of him. “This better be good,” he muttered, reaching for his guitar.

#quickspins #backlog #second chance #lukanette #i am lukanette trash i admit it #luka couffaine #marinette dupain-cheng #miraculousladybug #miraculous ladybug #mlfics

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dreamingofmilk · 4 years

Text

Just the Two of Us - Chapter 1

Synopsis: Izzie's finishing her senior year of college. The end is on the horizon. Her life is great with an amazing boyfriend and the world's greatest friend. Izzie feels like she can accomplish anything.

What happens though when someone from her past comes back into her life.

Warnings: mild smut

Word Count: 2,444

ENJOY!!

Prologue

Do you remember how old you were when love hurt you for the first time?

Not just a slight tumble on the schoolhouse playground, love will never leave just a scratch or a bruise.

No love is painful. Like a gunshot wound to the chest, like failing at everything you touch. Like seeing true happiness only to know that it’ll be ripped away from you, never to be experienced again.

Love is different for everybody. But the one thing that everyone has in common with love, is how far it can pull you down. Love can suck you up and suck you dry.

And you’ll let it. We all go so deep for love. The only way to feel that level of emotion is to either experience it with your whole body or not at all.

But to be in love you must be sure. True love is not a half-assed attempt. When you can’t decide, when you can’t figure out what love is best for you, people get hurt. You hurt the people you love the most. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

Love isn’t easy. But...

It’s always worth it.

Chapter 1

Senior year was kicking Iysha’s ass. She was only taking four classes for the fall semester, but each class required huge time-consuming projects. Not to mention working part-time, maintaining a social life, and spending time with her family. Iysha felt like she couldn’t breathe, and with it being her first semester without her boyfriend Bucky on campus going through it with her, she felt completely alone.

But she was sure that Bucky felt the same way too. With his new job at Stark Industries and a demanding boss like Tony. Iysha knew that Bucky was just as stressed as she was. Which is why she had something planned for him right after she got out of her Business Ethics class. Switching between listening to her professor discuss moral issues in business and writing out a grocery list of all the things she needed to pick up from the store before going home, she felt herself becoming giddy from getting to see her boyfriend again.

With all the stress of the new semester. Izzie hadn’t been able to spend time with Bucky for about three weeks. Of course he called her every night and helped her study over facetime, but Izzie could tell that Bucky was getting a little irritated from their lack of time together. And Izzie missed him so much that the thought of another night without him might just her crazy.

A deep sound of relief left Izzy’s throat when her professor wrapped up the lecture early after getting a call from one of her children. Izzy quickly packed up her notes and purse and made her way out of the classroom. Dodging and weaving her way through the quad, she waved hello to the few people she knew on campus. She made it to her dorm room and practically ran into her room. Ignoring her roommate and first college friend, Leona, who was sitting at the table.

“Wow, Izz, you just walked by and can’t even speak?” Leona said walking into Izzie’s room. Leona watched Izzie buzz around her room picking up different items and clothes stuffing it into her overnight bag.

Izzie glances up to look at Leona. A smile spreads across her face. She quickly moves to give her friend a good long hug.

“Sorry Lee, I’m a girl on a mission. I wanna go see Bucky tonight, and I have a lot to do before he makes it home tonight. Gonna make him that meatloaf he loves.” Izzie smiled and went back to packing.

“Uhh, What does this have to do with meatloaf,” Leona smirked as she held up Izzie’s forest green Savage Fenty lingerie set that she pulled from Izzie’s overnight bag.

Izzie felt the tip of her ears burn in embarrassment, leaning over the bed to snatch the outfit away from her laughing friend.

“Stop. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him okay. I figured he would like a surprise. Besides, aren’t you the one who constantly reminds me that Bucky is a man that needs to be pleased?”

“I’m not shaming you, honey, I say go for it. Because as soon as you leave here, I’m inviting Thor over for the time of his life. The last time we met up he had me weak for days.” Leona moved her hips in a sensual manner. Izzie threw one of her stuffed animals at Leona.

“Gross can you not talk about your sexcapades!” Izzie squealed.

“Izz please don’t act all holy saint on me. Like I didn’t hear you and Bucky together constantly last semester. Almost every time I came home, all I’d hear was your high pitched moans and his grunts.”

A blind man could see the embarrassment on Izzy's face.

“Shit Lee, I didn’t know you heard us! Why didn’t you say anything? I would have stopped if I knew you would be coming home on those days. I always thought you were with Thor.”

“It’s cool Izzie because I know you did the same thing for me when you came home to me and Thor on the couch that one time.” Leona burst into laughter as she watched Izzie’s face fall.

“Why did you have to bring that up! I had finally scrubbed my mind clean of that!” Izzie buried her face into the sleeves of her hoodie and scratched at her eyes. Lee rolled her eyes in response.

“All I’m saying is that you act so innocent but whenever Bucky is around he makes that act fly right out the window.”

“Whatever Lee, I’m gonna finish packing. I need to stop by the grocery store before he makes it home, so I’m kind of in a rush.” Izzie went back to packing.

“Don’t mind me. And don’t complain to me either when you're sore on Monday.” Lee smirked and got up to saunter out of the room. Izzie responded by sticking her tongue out at her.

“Save it for Bucky. We all know it has been a while.” Lee ducked out of the room quickly as the pillow Izzie threw at her just barely missed her head. Izzie could hear Leona’s laughter as she walked away.

A short ride to the grocery store, and a meal prep later, Izzie could hear Bucky’s keys jingling in the doorway. Izzie ran to attack her man with kisses as soon as he stepped through the door. Bucky dropped all his stuff to catch his girlfriend's hips and wrapped her thick legs around his waist.

Bucky kissed her back even though he was surprised to see her. He felt Izzie melt into his embrace and knew then that her month had been just as long as his. He missed her so much over the past couple of weeks and he made plans to take her on a surprise trip the following weekend. He’d booked a cabin for the two of them up in the mountains. Izzie loved to go to the cabins around this time of year because of the leaves falling and changing colors. And Bucky did whatever he could to keep his girl happy.

“I missed you, love.” Bucky whispered into his girlfriend’s ear as he walked the two of them into the kitchen. He placed her gently on the counter and stood between her legs, softly rubbing the outer part of her shorts. He glanced down to take in the outfit that she wore which consisted of one of his T-shirts that she used to sleep in whenever she came over, and a pair of extremely short shorts.

Bucky groaned inwardly. It had been too long since they’d seen each other in person. Never again would he allow this to happen. Sure they were adjusting to him working fulltime and being out of college. But they could adjust together, besides Bucky knew he wanted Izzie in his life more often than just when they could catch up.

“I missed you too, Mr. Buchanan,” Izzie smirked and played with his hair.

“You’re playing with me. After a month, do you really think that’s a great idea?” Bucky pressed his lips into the side of her jaw.

“Mmmhm maybe not but,” Izzie gasped when Bucky nipped at her spot. “You know I can’t resist you when you let your hair grow out. Besides,” She gently pushed him back so she could jump down from the counter. “I’m making your favorite. So the real fun can wait a bit I think.” Izzie walked around to the oven which she had preheated and slid in the potatoes and meatloaf that she had prepared.

“Mhmm, it could.” Bucky’s mouth watered at the idea of Izzie’s homemade meatloaf, but it also watered when she bent over to put the food in the oven. Izzie turned around to start cutting the vegetables and Bucky approached her from the back, trapping her against the counter. Izzie smiled and looked back to kiss Bucky. He quickly asserted his dominance through the kiss and made sure she could feel him. “Then again your meatloaf takes about 30 minutes to cook. So that’s about…” Bucky pretended to count using his fingers, his package still pressed against her. “That’s about 3-4 orgasms if my tongue I mean calculations are correct.”

“They are not correct!” Izzie squealed as Bucky picked her up and put her on another part of the kitchen counter. “Do you not remember the last time you did this, the food burned!” Izzie huffed, she knew there was no real way to reason with Bucky when he got like this because she was the same way.

“Yeah, that’s because it was your mom’s leftover lasagna. I hate her lasagna. I love your meatloaf babe. No way I’d let that burn.” Bucky made quick work of removing your shorts and the thong you wore underneath.

Izzie giggled as he placed a series of kisses up and down her thigh. She gently pushed at his head.

“Hey! My mama's lasagna is good.” Izzie sighed as Bucky placed three gently kisses on her clit.

“Not when she keeps forgetting key ingredients like ricotta, or the one time when she forgot the cheese!” Bucky’s finger came into play as Izzie grew wetter on the counter. “Now that the negotiation talks are over, lay back love, I’m gonna eat you now.” Bucky shot Izzie the slyest smirk right before he got to work.

“You really do like my meatloaf.” Izzie watched Bucky eat with fervor. Almost as passionately as he had just eaten her pussy only moments before.

“I really do like your meatloaf babe.” Bucky shot Izzie a wink from across the table. His mouth is full of moist potatoes and seasoned broccoli. “How’s school going?” He asked, he knew that was the main reason Izzie hadn’t been able to spend any time with him.

“It seems to be slowing down, or I have finally gotten adjusted. Either way, it doesn’t matter because studying for midterms starts up in two weeks and I’ll be a hermit once again.” Bucky shot her a puppy dog look. “Not from you babe. I can’t ever go this long again without seeing your cheeks stuffed full like this.” Izzie giggled as she poked Bucky’s puffed out cheek that was full of food.

“Agreed babe. I love seeing your mouth stuffed too.” Bucky smiled cheekily at Izzie, the innuendo sending a vibe straight down her core.

“Can you not.” Izzie’s high pitched voice waned as she shifted in her seat. She stuck her fork in a piece of broccoli and shoved it in her mouth as she tried to think of anything else other than her mouth being full of him.

Bucky leaned over and pulled her chair close to his.

“You know I’m just messing with you, babe. I missed you so much. I planned a getaway for next weekend. I was going to surprise you. But it looks like you did it first.”

“A trip? Where?” Izzie worked hard to contain her excitement, she loved when Bucky planned trips for the two of them.

“Up to the mountains. I got us that cabin you wanted to rent the last time we went up there.” Izzie jumped out of her seat and into Bucky’s lap peppering his face kisses.

“Buck. You’re the best.” Izzie slid to the floor in front of him, her hands on his belt. “You always know how to make me the happiest girl. Let me show you how happy you make me.”

The music in Bucky’s favorite bar was loud. Bucky’s arm wrapped around Izzie tightly, bringing her into his lap as he sat at a stool at the bar. Izzie happily accepted his warmth and the drink he ordered for her. She occasionally leaned back to talk to Lee who was sitting cozily next to Thor.

“Thanks for coming out with me babe. Last night was fun, but it’s also nice to show the world how cute my girlfriend is.” Bucky pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“No problem, besides you promised me you would help with my homework if I came out with you today. And there was no way I could pass that up.” She smiled and flicked Bucky’s nose.

Bucky got Izzie’s hand and took a fake chomp out of it. Izzie giggled and pulled back bumping into the person behind her. Izzie turned to apologize but her words caught in her throat, the man flashed a soft smile and stepped away from the two of them quickly disappearing into the crowd. Izzie's heartbeat shot out of her chest.

“Babe, did you see that?” Izzie looked at Bucky who was in a heated football conversation with Thor. Bucky’s hand gently rubbed at the sides of her hips.

“See what babe?” Bucky looked down into Izzie’s eyes, concern etching into his face. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just gonna go to the bathroom for a second.” Izzie pressed a soft kiss to Bucky’s lips and made her way to the bathroom.

Izzie splashed her face with water to calm herself. A few moments to collect herself was all she needed. She stepped out of the bathroom and started to make her way back to Bucky when a hand gripped her wrist.

Izzie turned to the person who stopped her. When she saw who it was she couldn’t breathe. Her heart stopped.

“Erik?” His smile stretched broadly across his perfect white teeth. His smooth brown skin as radiant as ever.

“Hey princess. Long time no see”

TAGLIST:

@aislinnsilver @wawakanda-btch @chaneajoyyy

#black panther fic #milky fics #milk fics #avengers fanfiction #milkyfics

21 notes · View notes

heartslogos · 3 years

Text

the declassified texts of the inquisition’s elite [137]

(708): LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS - (206): you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site -

Josephine quickly tries to grab Leliana’s hand, shooting her a furious look as Leliana neatly dodges Josephine’s hand and continues to text.

“We are in the middle of a courtroom, observing one of the most critical cases we’ve ever had to present,” Josephine hisses, subtly looking around to make sure no one can see them. “You cannot be texting in here. Your phone shouldn’t even be on.”

“I’m the head of intelligence, asking me to turn my phone off is like asking me to practice workplace negligence,” Leliana replies, covering her mouth with a hand and faking a demure sneeze. “Besides. We both know that we have this one. I’ll admit, they got some good lawyers. But the jury clearly isn’t buying any of it and the judge looks half a second away from having the stenographer throw out the record as garbage and calling this thing off.”

“I’d rather that not flip by having us called in contempt and being removed from the room because you’re on your phone.”

“We’re just audience members, Josie.”

“We’re audience members who are part of the claimant,” Josephine pinches Leliana’s arm. “Who are you texting?”

“It’s the group text,” Leliana replies, making her phone disappear to some hidden pocket on her person. “Apparently everyone who isn’t currently on a mission is watching the courtroom stream, or at least they have it on the background.”

“Do they not have anything better to do?”

“They need background noise. And we have several people who are very good at multitasking. In fact, several people who achieve their best results only when multitasking.” Leliana glances around the courtroom. “And they’re right. Their commentary is spot on.”

“Who said what about whom?”

“Ah, that would be Sera saying what we’re all thinking regarding the defense’s opening remarks. And everyone agreeing and adding on. I’m starting to wonder if maybe we should have them all take some sort of legal training. They seem to be very, very good at understanding both rhetoric and the language of the law.”

“Leliana, half of them have dedicated a majority of their lives to cleverly subverting the law, the other half have spent their lives enforcing the law. If they weren’t good and understanding laws and the various ways they’re manipulated then I’d be worried we hired the wrong people.”

“Hired is a strong word. We didn’t hire them so much as they happened to be around us or showed up uninvited, did things that benefited us, and then just never left. And eventually we decided to pay them and give them housing and various fancy job titles.”

“Leliana.”

“For your reference, that’s also how we ended up with Morrigan when I was working with Neria.”

“Leliana!”

“Keep it down, Josephine. We’re in a court room!”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t want you to lose a foot to gangrene or die from tetanus. Next time I’ll keep my concerns in check and stop worrying about you so visibly,” Evelyn says as Mahanon scowls at Max. “And next time I’ll also ask Max not to care too.”

“But if Max doesn’t care about things he isn’t Max anymore,” Kaaras points out.

“I’m country,” Mahanon says, “I’ve run across garbage dumps without shoes on.”

“He’s got the leathery soles of some kind of lizard,” Ellana pitches in. “He could step on a thumb tack and wouldn’t know.”

“As if you’re any different from me.”

“I have beautiful feet.”

“We’re twins, they’re the same feet.”

“No they aren’t.”

“Twins! They’re the same.”

“Fraternal, not identical!”

“Before this becomes a conversation about feet and I get repulsed into another room,” Max interrupts the bickering siblings, “Can we get to the point where Mahanon tells us about what he found? In relation to evidence regarding our current case file?”

“The usual. Tax fraud, blatant disregard for worker safety, abuse of minorities, improper business bidding, siphoning of resources, nepotism, and gross misconduct,” Mahanon waves a hand. “Did you actually need me to itemize it? Name any sort of abuse off the top of your head. It’s there and we can bring it up in court.”

“You’re being lazy,” Max accuses. “You have to actually give a report, you know.”

“Excuse me? What are you accusing me of being?” Mahanon fixes his eyes onto Maxwell who lets out a soft squeak.

“You can’t just say accuse them of whatever,” Evelyn says in her cousin’s defense. “Sure, most of it’s going to stick because evidence will come up for it. But you need to be specific first so it doesn’t look like we’re throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks, only to find out the entire lasagna tray sticks.”

“Are you hungry?” Kaaras asks Evelyn as he puts a hand on Mahanon’s shoulder. “He’s right you know. Just because it’s true that we could accuse them of literally anything and have it be true because they’re so corrupt doesn’t mean you don't have to actually say it.”

Mahanon rolls his eyes. “If I have to list very single transgression they had on site we’ll be here for hours.”

“Unfortunate, but that’s our job. This isn’t new and you should’ve have expected us doing this,” Evelyn says. “Though I don’t know what your sister is doing here. She’s not part of this that I know of. Ellana, don’t you have something else to do?”

Ellana checks her watch. Then she pulls her sleeve back to check a second watch. “Oh, my pie should be about done. Be back soon!”

“Why does your sister have two watches on one arm?” Evelyn asks as Ellana dashes out of the room.

“One’s for here, the other’s for some other thing she’s handling in a different time zone,” Mahanon waves a dismissive hand. “Doesn’t matter. It changes. Don’t ask me why she doesn’t just use her phone’s world clock. Apparently she requires the tactile feeling of looking at a watch for the numbers to register. I don’t get it. But I’m not going to do anything about it. Not that I could. She’s impossible.”

#heartsfic #gather your party and venture forth

1 note · View note

absolutely-legit · 5 years

Text

Chasing

Warnings: None

~*~

It’s quiet in the room, no hum, no buzz. Much too quiet for a music studio that should be filled with sound and song. It’s been like that for months. Quiet. It’s tidy, clean. The room almost feels like it was abandoned, eerily empty, if it weren’t for the dark haired young man sitting in front of the silent piano. But he too is quiet and still. He doesn’t move, sitting straight, hands folded in his lap, staring blankly ahead. He’s been sitting and staring for a long time, hours maybe. He’s looking down at the neat piano keys, but he doesn’t see them. He doesn’t see anything, caught inside his own head.

It’s been like that for days, weeks, months. But it’s worse today.

Atop the piano lies a sheet of paper, inconspicuous and yet out of place. Sheet music is what one would expect to find on top of a piano, but the paper is covered in small letters with an officially looking logo in the right corner. It’s an important document. At least it could be. Or it could not.

The young man finally moves. He raises a hand and places it gently on the white keys. It’s the kind of mellow motion one would expect from a pianist. The movement follows sound. A high noted lonely ‘Ping’ that’s too loud for the quiet. Then a second and a third. Then it dies. The slack hand falls back onto it’s owner’s leg.

Youngjae sighs, his shoulders sag. They feel stiff and he stretches wide and heavily, as if he hadn’t just wasted another day of his life. Then he carefully places the cover back down over the keys and rises to his feet. He stares down at the paper, shakes his head to himself and turns away. But just as he is about to take his first step towards the door, he quickly turns back and snatches the sheet off the piano, taking it with him when he leaves.

He keeps the papers by his side. While he cooks and has dinner, while he does the dishes and vacuums the dog hair from the sofa and while he watches Coco immediately jump up and spread her white fuzz all over the cushions again. From time to time he eyes the document, but each and every time he pulls his gaze away and tells himself to focus.

Still, it’s right there on top of the coffee table when Youngjae snuggles into his comfort blanket on the sofa, Coco on his chest and his favorite Drama playing on the screen. His time is running out, he knows that. He only has so many days before he will have to face reality, harsh and unapologetic. He hadn’t spent much time dwelling on what would happen. He’d played with the idea, entertained the thought, but he never thought it through to the end.

The universe is not playing in his favor today. When the drama goes into a commercial break and Youngjae just returns from the kitchen with a snack, he witnesses an ad crossing over the screen, underlined by a soft music piece. Just the tune alone speaks of longing, fantasy and a beautiful future. Youngjae heard this song many times and he loves it and hates it just the same. An artistically drawn cartoon plays, a sleeping piglet over whose head sits a dream bubble filled with colors and rainbows. The piglet opens its eyes and stands up on the bed, reaching its tiny arms up and catching the bubble in mid air. Then it pulls itself up and climbs inside.

Even 10 seconds later Youngjae can’t tell what the commercial was for, all that’s burned into his mind is the sentence showing up on the screen. “Chase your dreams.”

Youngjae walks over to the coffee table, grabs the stack of papers and throws them all into the paper bin.

“Morning Sunshine.” Youngjae is greeted right as he presses the elevator button. He doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is, but he does anyways. He plasters a happy smile on his face before he does and greets back. “Good morning, Hyung.” Jaebum pats his shoulder when he approaches and plants himself along before the elevator doors. For some reason Youngjae clutches his bag a little closer to his body. It’s stupid, but he feels like he’s carrying a big secret that is about to spill. In the morning, right after he climbed out of bed, sleep-ridden and in his pajamas, he walked back to the bin and fished the papers out. He couldn’t bear leaving to work without them.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Jaebum notices with a curious glance and Youngjae shrugs, not in the mood to tell him wrong. The elevator arrives with a ‘pling’ and they get on, just them two. Youngjae likes being around Jaebum, but being alone with him, in such an enclosed space nonetheless makes him nervous. The female staff blush and giggle when talking to him and Youngjae would too, if he didn’t know how inappropriate that would be for him to do. If girls do it it’s cute, if he did it it’s gross. No, thank you.

“How’s that song coming along?” Jaebum inquires cheerfully, oblivious of Youngjae’s tight chest and throat. His mood, already at ground level falls through the elevator floor all the way down into the underground parking lot, smashing into the concrete. “Not bad.” He lies and Jaebum hears it. He’s smart, attractive talented, but also extremely sensitive and good with people. If he’d joined the company when he was younger, they surely would have debuted him as an idol. He’d have made all of Korea fall for him.

“Still in a slump, huh?” Jaebum slings an arm around his shoulder and presses him to his side. “Don’t worry.” He goes on. “You have the skills and it’ll pass. You can do it.” It’s just then that the elevator arrives at their floor and Youngjae has the chance to hastily excuse himself, shaking off the prodding arm and prodding questions so that he doesn’t have to think about whether he’s grateful for the nice words or throw up over what’s underneath.

Youngjae listens to a bit of scolding, scribbles down a few notes and overall does pretty much nothing. When his mind rests for too long, a little piglet climbs inside his brain, telling him to follow his dreams and he reaches for his bag and takes out the paper. “This is my dream.” He says and he has to say it out loud, because if he kept it inside his head it wouldn’t convince him.

It is his dream, he knows when he looks around the company. The people, the equipment. The studios, the music. Being a songwriter IS a dreamjob. He was so lucky to end up here. All the opportunities, the creativity, the skills and knowledge. The chances, the music, the art.

“Wanna grab lunch?” Youngjae startles when Jaebum’s head pops through a crack in the door. He hadn’t realized how the time passed. He decides to just nod and only when Jaebum steps closer and curiously looks down at the table asking. “What’s that?” Youngjae realizes with a shock that he still has the papers lying there, out in the open. He hastily grabs them and stuffs them into his bag. “Nothing.” He gasps and slings his bag over his shoulder. “Let’s go.”

Jaebum’s eyes narrow slightly, but he lets it slide. Youngjae gets on the elevator first and reaches out to press the button when Jaebum’s hand springs out of nowhere and grabs his wrist. Then he pushes him aside and presses the button for the ground floor. Youngjae frowns. “That’s not where the canteen is.” Jaebum beams. “Let’s go to the Italian place across the street.” He says. “I want lasagna.” Youngjae’s stomach feels fuzzy, but he shrugs it off.

“So, how’s that song coming along?” Jaebum asks once the waiter leaves with his order of lasagna and seafood-spaghetti. “You asked that.” Youngjae reminds him and avoids his eyes, letting his gaze wander around the dining area. It’s full, but the tables are nicely scattered so it doesn’t get too noisy. Jaebum props his chin onto his palm, elbow on the table and blinks at him. “And I’m asking again.” Youngjae’s eyes fleetingly flicker back to him. “Did someone put you up on my tail?” He asks, scrunching his nose as it tickles with the scent of herbs in the air.

“Yes.” Jaebum admits unabashed. “But that’s not why I’m asking.” Now Youngjae does look at him fully. “Then why?” He squints. Jaebum doesn’t show any signs of apology. “Because I want to know. You’re evasive and discouraged and you didn’t use to be like that.” It’s hard not to slump at the words. It’s true, Youngjae knows that. He used to be different, he used to be cheerful and laughing, the nickname ‘Sunshine’ coming from somewhere. “Follow your dreams!” The piglet screeches. Jaebum’s head tilts on his palm. “You used to have so much creativity and inspiration. And enthusiasm to be a producer.”

Youngjae presses his lips together. “People just have that sometimes.” He diverts. “Everybody goes through times like these, even you!” It’s half the truth. Jaebum is the most respected songwriter and producer in the company and even he had periods where he lacked output. But it surely never lasted as long as it does for Youngjae now. He shrugs unimpressed. “I’m thinking you could do better.” Youngjae’s anxiety slowly but surely tips over into anger. “Not helping.” He hisses. Jaebum finally sits back up properly, taking his arm off the table. “I know you did better when you were under less pressure.” He says casually. “But that’s how it is. There is pressure and it’s not going to go away because you want it to. If you want to be a music producer, you better get used to it.”

Youngjae isn’t used to hearing harsh words from Jaebum. Or, from anyone for that matter. He’s used to being encouraged. To hearing that he can do it, that he will achieve what he wants if he works hard. If there’s one thing people love to say, it’s that one fateful sentence. “Never give up.” The piglet taunts him and they’re quiet until the food arrives. Then Jaebum changes the topic and chatters away about miniscule things, leaving Youngjae confused and alone with his thoughts.

He mumbles a ‘Bye’ and walks off to the left once they’re back on their floor, knowing that Jaebum has to go right, but his sleeve is caught in the other’s grip and he turns back. “You know, Youngjae-ah.” Jaebum says, voice much softer than it’s been today. “I am a 100% honest when I say I know you can do better.” He pulls him a little closer in, face serious. “But that doesn’t mean you have to. Sometimes it’s just worth learning that, hypothetically, you’re not made to be creative under pressure.” Then he lets loose of his sleeve and steps away, leaving him dumbfounded in the hallway, mind tumbling over.

Youngjae pulls the stack of paper from his bag once he’s alone and places it on the desk. He flips through the pages slowly, one by one until he reaches the last. Then he takes a pen, hovering it above the straight black line on the bottom of the page. He takes one last deep breath and scribbles his name.

Everything after that happens in a dazed rush. He seals the sheets in an envelope and drops it in the mailbox. He walks into his bosses office with a hammering heart and when he emerges, he feels like he lost 50 kilos.

It takes some time, but not a lot and eventually it sickers through. He hears whispers, but ignores them. Then, one day Jackson is at the company and he’s not only their most popular artist, but also their noisiest one and he jumps on Youngjae’s back and whines. “You’re leaving usssss?” Mark, Jackson’s manager sighs exasperated and pulls his protégé off Youngjae’s body, setting him back to the ground. Youngjae likes them both and he’ll miss them. “Yeah.” He nods shyly. “But whhyyyy?!” Jackson wails, ignoring Mark who tries to shush him.

Youngjae breathes deeply. He hasn’t had to do this yet, hasn’t told anyone directly. “I found a different job.” He states and cracks a smile unwillingly. “That I really wanna do.” Jackson isn’t happy. “Who stole you?! YG?” He takes a ‘ready-to-fight’ – posture that makes Youngjae laugh. “No.” He shakes his head. “Nothing like that. I’m gonna be in the marketing department of a video game company.” It feels good to say. Jackson’s eyes grow large. “But you said writing music was your dream!” He cries. Youngjae is aware that more people are listening in and he finds he doesn’t mind.

“I think.” He says. “I’m better off keeping music as a hobby. And you know I love video games.” Jackson complains, but Youngjae sees Marks face twist into a soft smile. “Good for you.” He says, gentle voice the polar opposite to Jackson’s noisy one. Youngjae nods. “Thanks.”

„Is that really your choice?“ Youngjae halts in mid-air, halfway to stuffing a notebook into a box. Jaebum faked oblivious for the time being and now Youngjae‘s departure is official rather than „official“. He looks up, letting the notebook clumsily fall onto his other things. He nods, but doesn’t manage to squeeze out a word. Jaebum raises a disbelieving eyebrow. “’m sorry.” Youngjae mumbles, even though he’s not sure he knows what he’s apologizing for.

Jaebum steps closer. “What about your dream?” The scoff escapes Youngjae involuntarily. He means to take it back but Jaebum’s eyes sparkle and he smiles. Youngjae’s heart leaps and his throat closes up. Jaebum is really getting close. “Are you sure you made the right decision?” He asks, very quietly. Youngjae stares back at him. He wants to say yes, because that’s the whole point, but it won’t come out. Finally, after a long while he shakes his head. Jaebum’s smile stays perfectly in place.

“No.” It gives Youngjae the courage to say. “I’m not sure. I don’t know.” He stems his arms into his side a little childish. “But I’m tired of my dream.”

The piglet plops out of it’s dream bubble and climbs back down into it’s bed. The sun rises and it yawns when it awakes. Happily.

Jaebum moves in and wraps his arms around Youngjae’s body. His lips are right next to Youngjae’s ear when he whispers. “I’m glad you’re honest with yourself now.” It has him shiver, for a multitude of reasons and he hugs Jaebum back tightly. “Thank you so much.” He gives back, something sweet blooming in his chest. He half expects Jaebum to taunt him, teasingly ask ‘What for?’ but he doesn’t. He squeezes him once more, then backs away, though still holding onto Youngjae’s elbows. “I really hope you find your happiness.” He says with the utmost honesty. “But I’ll miss you.”

The happy feeling inside him receives a crack. Youngjae will miss him, too. They’re close, but it would be far-fetched to even call them friends. They never even met once outside of work and while they worked together a few times, including a fairytale-like tune that was sold as a jingle for a TV commercial and while they shared phone-numbers, they barely know anything about each other’s lives.

“Youngjae.” Jaebum says and he sounds a little breathless. “We’re not coworkers anymore now.” He pronounces it like a fact, not a question, but Youngjae still nods. “So the company rules… don’t apply any longer.” Youngjae frowns. Rules? He means to express his confusion, but he doesn’t get the chance. In a rash, hardly comprehensible motion he rushes in and their lips collide in the briefest of kisses. Youngjae’s heart explodes and when Jaebum is back in his original position, he feels breathless, too.

The company doesn’t allow coworkers to date. And while Youngjae mildly wonders if Jaebum chased him out for his own gain, he decides to inquire on that later. So before he can say anything else, Youngjae chimes in. “Yeah.” he whispers with a nod. He knew the piglet had a reason to wake up.

~*~

#2jae #2jae fic #follow your dreams #got7 #fanfic

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cherries-n-rocknroll · 5 years

Text

BUCKET LIST || chapter 5

Previous chapter // Click here for the series masterlist

Wow, I’m so sorry this took forever. I was just not feeling it. This as 4.5k words chapter and it’s mainly fluff (and a little bit of angst). See, I can do other things too. Also, it’s very dialogue driven. The dress in the upper right corner is the dress I had in mind for reader when they go to the museum. Also, I want to give you a little assignment, can you figure out which museum/gallery they visited? Since it’s based on a real existing museum. Hint: it’s in somewhere in Rome and the pictures might give you some hints too. Okay now I basically spoiled it

Chapter 5 ’The Art of The After’

The morning after

“Good morning,” Roger whispered in a sleepy voice, turning to face you.

“Hi,” you reacted, eyes squished into lines to shut them from the light. “did you sleep well?” What a boring line to start of the day you thought.

You were lying on your side, you usually slept like that. It was the most comfortable position in your opinion. Roger, on the other hand, had almost pushed you off the bed with his starfish-like sleeping, making an absolute mess of the bed.

“It couldn’t be better,” he said “you?”

“Uhm…good.”

“Great,” he said without looking at you. He was just staring at the ceiling. Hands resting on his stomach.

“About…last night,” Roger began.

“Well that happened didn’t it?” you interrupted.

“Pffff. Yep,” he huffed, plopping his lips on the p.

After that it went completely silent for a few minutes before Roger spoke up again. “You don’t regret I do you?” he said, a hint of concern in his voice.

“I…don’t?” you said a little hesitantly, frowning your eyebrow, sunken into thought. You didn’t regret it. It was Roger. You would give him your right kidney if it came down to it. But maybe that was the problem. You would do almost anything for him. You wanted to be with him, you really did. But the thought that it could maybe, possibly end in you two being mortal enemies made you want to curl up in a corner and cry. You didn’t want to lose your buddy.

On the other hand, you thought, life is to short to worry about these kinds of things.

“Really?” He said, pulling you out of your brief daydream. Roger furrowed his eyebrows, a relieved look on his face.

“Really.” you reacted

“Are we… are we good then?”

“Definitely,” you said. Wow, this is awkward… you thought.

“So… what are we now? A…couple?”

“Well, uhm…let’s uh…let’s take things slow okay?” You liked him, obviously, and you wanted to give it a shot, but you also didn’t want to rush things.

“Slow?!” He almost yelled. “Y/N we had sex! I’m pretty sure we’re past the whole let’s take things slow part.”

“I just…have to…think about…this, us, okay Rog?” you said, slightly raising your voice, moving your hands in the process.

“Sure love,” he said. He sounded annoyed, just a bit. Then you grabbed his face with both hands and gave him a kiss. Roger moved along, turning onto his side, but he couldn’t help but feel a little confused in that moment.

“You know, I love it when you call me that,” you mumbled against his lips trying to brighten the mood.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you said, scrunching your nose.

“What other things do you want me to call you, huh?” He hummed, pulling away slightly so that he could make proper eye contact with you.

“Oh let’s not go there.” you chuckled.

“Oh, really? Do you have dirty secrets miss Y/L/N?” He asked, his lips pulling up into a smug grin.

“Not answering that.” you giggled and you turned to lie on your back so that you didn’t have to look at him, a devious grin on your face.

“Well, now I sure as hell want to know,” he growled, and then he started to tickle you. Attacking your tummy with his rough fingers, recklessly moving them over your skin. Causing you to laugh so hard that your muscles started to ache. “Tell me Miss Y/L/N, or I’ll take matters into my own hands.”

“Noohoo fuck you!…. I’m not….telling you.” You said between almost hysterical laughter.

“Fine! But I will find out,” Roger said and he pulled up one eyebrow, his blue eyes not leaving yours.

“You might.” You retorted in a sassy tone.

And with that, you swung the sheets of off you and stepped out of the bed in one swift motion. Rogers gaze didn’t leave your body, eyes gliding over your back. Noticing the line of your spine, the curve of your waist, and the little indents on your lower back. Damn you were beautiful. No, you were perfect.

You grabbed your shirt of the ground and slipped it over your head. What was going to happen now? It was worth the shot. Because if last night was an indication, this definitely had potential.

“Hey, …about that uhm…that list that we, or well…you…made.” he pulled you out of your thoughts. And you quickly put on your knickers. Feeling a little self-conscious all of a sudden.

“Yes, what about it?”

“Maybe we could check some off the list while we’re here?”

“Like what?”

“Like… skinny dipping. Just a wild guess that you’ve never done that.”

“with the entire group?! No way!” you exclaimed.

“I thought that…maybe we could…go together.”

“Cheeky bastard!” You chuckled “Was tonight not enough naked for you?”

“I could look at you all day y/n. You’re a sight for sore eyes. So no, tonight was not enough. I’ll never get enough of you.”

“I’ll think about it. Now, I’m going to my room to put on a proper outfit.”

You started walking toward the door, but you got interrupted along the way. “Do you think they heard us, last night?” Roger suddenly said, making you stop.

“O shit! We’re not gonna tell them we’re a thing yet are we?” it slipped out of your mouth so easily, you didn’t even notice it before Roger made a comment.

“Did you just call us a thing?”

“I did, didn’t I?” you said, and immediately you felt your cheeks turning a darker shade of red.

You looked at Roger — who was lying on the bed — one more time before leaving the room. The sheer layer of sweat combined with the light shining through the curtains made it look like his skin was glowing. And with any other person, it would have been gross, but with Roger it was different. it looked great. Sexy.

When you walked out the door and towards the breakfast table outside you could smell all the flowers in the garden.

At the breakfast table, you wanted to sit next to Roger but everyone was already set when you came down. So now you were stuck with a seat between Brian and Deaky. Not that you had a problem with it. They were lovely, but because of obvious reasons, you wanted to sit next to Roger.

“What are the plans?” Brian began while chewing on a piece of apricot.

“I saw that there is a beautiful museum just a few kilometers away,” you suggested. “I do think that we have to make a reservation. It’s pretty popular.”

A teacher had recommended it to you when you told her where you were going. She was lovely, one of your favorites really, a great artist and a joy to listen to.

“Splendid idea. Any objections?” Freddie asked, looking around the table. “No? Okay, great!”

“What should we get?” Emily asked.

You were at the supermarket getting groceries. With seven people, the food stock shrank at a frighteningly quick pace.

“Maybe we could make lasagna?” you suggested.

“Oeeeh, yes, love that.” she reacted enthusiastically.

“We could make it from scratch?”

“That’s awesome! But-” she paused to think. “wait, no we can’t. We’re with seven people!”

“I know,” you said smugly. “I like a challenge now and then. Okay, since we are with seven, we’ll need a big amount of food so we better get going.”

You walked towards the bread aisle when Emily suddenly said something that made you flinch a little. “Is that a hickey?!”

It felt like the entire store had heard her, like everyone was staring at you now, knowing what you had done last night.

Considering the temperature you had chosen to wear a flowy summer dress. Which didn’t cover your shoulders or neck. You had forgotten about the mark that Roger had left since you couldn’t see it without a mirror in front of you. But apparently, other people could easily see it.

“I uh…I bumped…against a shelf last night on my way to the bathroom.” you quickly replied.

“Aah, a shelf, of course.” Couldn’t she even try to act like she believed you?

“Now, we’ll need type 00 flour. Very important!” you said trying to shake off her comment.

You were standing in the kitchen, softly humming a song while the others were outside, probably playing scrabble.

Your hands were coated in flour and there was some on your face too. Caught up in kneading the big ball of dough you didn’t notice Roger standing in the doorway. You looked so focused, so perfect with the sunlight hitting you in all the right ways. He could see a glimpse of your collarbones and the mark he had left behind. And his mouth curled up into a soft smile.

Your hair was tied up into a messy bun, some strands hanging loose. And you were wearing an apron to protect your white dress from the flour and tomato splatters.

All of a sudden this warm and fuzzy feeling came bubbling up in Roger, something he had never felt before. You looked so perfect, ethereal in a way.

He started walking towards the counter. You noticed his footsteps and looked up from your work.

“Hi,” you said softly

“Hello, my little kitchen princes. What are you making?” He said standing behind you, putting his hands on your hips. It felt so domestic like you were a long time married couple. Which wasn’t the case, at all. It had been a day, but all you wanted to do was to feel his touch against your skin again. And Roger seemed to crave the same thing.

“Pasta. Lasagne to be precise,” you said. “Could you take over?” And you looked at Roger over your shoulder. “My arms are getting a little tired, I think I underestimated this.”

“Sure love,” he said, placing a kiss onto your neck, softly humming against the skin.

“Oh and I need to grab the pasta machine,” you said spinning yourself out of Rogers embrace. Walking away now.

“Do wash your hands first!” You said while doing so yourself, washing away the flour.

“Yes, ma’am.”

He had said it in such a sarcastic tone, of course he did. That boy kept switching between cheeky asshole and adorable boyfriend mode.

“Watch it, Taylor!” You warned.

“What?!”

You didn’t react, you just gently shook your head while walking away.

The house had very high ceilings and thus there were high cupboards. Ideal for storing lots of kitchen supplies and tableware, but it wasn’t exactly practical when you needed something.

You looked at the box standing on the highest shelf. Standing on your toes wasn’t going to get you far enough. Maybe with a chair?

In the kitchen stood some bar stools and you grabbed one. There were lots of chairs standing around the dinner table but they were definitely too low. So you walked towards him to grab one of the higher bar stools, shortly distracting Roger from his work.

“What ‘you gonna do?”

“Grab the pasta machine,” you answered shortly, already walking away to the other side of the kitchen, dragging the stool with one hand.

Standing on the stool you tried to reach the highest shelf. If you just stood on your tippy toes maybe you could…possibly…grab it.

“You need help?” Roger asked from the other side of the kitchen, seeing you struggle.

You managed to grasp a corner of the box. And you were so focused on it, tongue slightly darting out, that you didn’t notice the stool slightly wiggling underneath you.

“Nope,” you blurted out, eyes pinned on the box. “I’m good.”

“You sure?”

“Yes…fuck,” you answered in a slightly annoyed voice, swearing under your breath. You weren’t and didn’t want to be some helpless girl. You had too much pride for that. So with all your stubbornness, you continued your mission. You succeeded in shifting the box towards you, but before you knew it the stool started wiggling heavily under your weight. And it took only a split second before it actually tripped over. Taking you and the box with the metal construction with it. And it all fell onto the ground with a loud thud.

“Ouch! fuck fuck fuck,” you muttered, bringing your hand to your head. “I’m fine,” you added.

“You’re bleeding!” Roger yelped, immediately running to you.

He came to sit on his knees and he brought his hand to your face. “You need to watch out for yourself love. I would like to keep you as you are,” he said, looking at you with concerned eyes.

“Sorry, but It’s just my knee. It’s fine.”

“No need to apologize, just be careful, yeah?” He said and he lifted your chin up with one finger, forcing you to look at him. “And don’t be afraid to accept my help,”

“Like you’re any different.”

“Are you calling me out here?”

“Maybe. But I just don’t want to be dependant on anyone. ‘Don’t want to be a helpless little girl.”

“You’re not,“ he said while tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I promise,”

“You’re making me dirty.” you chuckled, scrunching your nose. His hands were coated in flour, now transferring onto your face.

“I’m making you dirty?! Damn right I am,” he said with a grin on his face.

“Not like that Rog,” you laughed, poking a finger into his stomach.

“Auch!” reacted said sarcastically. “But seriously, you’re not weak or helpless! Evah! And I know you find that hard to accept, but again, it’s okay to ask for help sometimes. Doesn’t make you weak.” he said, staring into your eyes again before he placed a soft kiss onto your forehead. You closed your eyes for a second, enjoying the gentleness of his move. It made you melt a little.

“Maybe,” you mumbled and suddenly a sharp sting shot through your leg.

"Shit, it hurts!” you said and suddenly you felt like your 8-year-old self again. Bleeding knees and palms were something from long ago. From a time where you went rollerblading with your sister and rode around on your bike with one wheel.

“let’s patch you up shall we?” Roger said looking at your chaffed knee and hand. “Come on.”

“I’m fine! I can get up myself. God, I feel pathetic…” you added softly.

“Now stop saying you’re weak and pathetic! Just grab my hand,” he said, slowly getting up, but you pulled him down.

“Wait!”

“Well, you don’t have to. I can also just leave your here on the kitchen fl-” Roger said, but he was cut off mid-sentence by Emily entering the room.

“What’s going on?” she began. “I heard a loud noise.”

“Nothing,” you almost yelled, flinching, realizing how close you and Roger were sitting. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough. You two certainly look cozy.”

“I- just…I fell…and Roger-”

“Yeah…she…she fell.” Roger stuttered while quickly getting up, nervously rubbing over the back of his neck. “I asked her if she needed help but she refused.” You’d never seen Roger look this nervous and awkward before.

“Stupid! You’re bleeding!” she stated.

“It’s fine. Really,” you reassured her.

“Do I need to get the first-aid kit for some bandages?”

“That would be nice, thank you,” you said in a now calmer tone.

You were sitting on the counter, Emily in front of you, your hands on your lap.

“So… what’s going on between you two?”

“Nothing.”

“Really? All of a sudden you’re all over each other.”

“We are just friends Em.”_ just friends_ has never been the most believable thing to say. And this time wasn’t an exception.

“Just friends huh? We! We are just friends! Well, I hope we aren't’ just friends, I mean I love you very much you’re not just a friend to me.” she said. “But not like love interest love.”

“I get it.”

“Just wanted to be sure.”

“I said I get it.”

Then it went silent for a few seconds.

“But still…if you like wanted to…kiss sometime…or something–”

“Please stop.”

“–I would be open for that, in a non-sexual way of course.”

“Okayyyy…”

“–Since we are just frien– “

“let’s do my hand and knee shall we?” you interrupted.

“Yeah let’s do that.”

You walked back into the kitchen only to find Roger trying very hard to figure out how to finish the lasagne.

“Hey, I was gonna do that.”

“Yeah, but since your busted open your palm I don’t think it’s very practical for you to cook now,” he said continuing whatever he was doing.

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing Rog?”

“Yes,” he said smugly.

“Can I sit here and command– uhh instruct you?” you flopped out.

“Command me? You would like that huh? Commanding me.” Roger joked and you felt your skin turning red in a frighteningly quick pace. “You really would! You’re blushing!”

Embarrassed you covered your face with your palms.

“Did I just discover a kink?”

“Roger shut up! Maybe someone will hear!”

“You don’t like that then? Other people hearing?”

“Okay, if you keep going I’m leaving,” you warned.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” he said, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Now, I see you managed to put the machine together,” you said, changing the subject.

“Yes, I did,”

“Good. Get the dough and make a big roll out of it!”

He carefully let the dough roll over the marble counter, guiding it with his hands. “Like this?” he asked, looking up at your for confirmation.

“Yes, very good. Next, you need to get a knife and cut it into approximately three parts. F_uck_, I think I did bump my head against the ground. I’m starting to…get a headache.”

Roger finished the lasagne, with a little bit of your help. And turns out, Roger wasn’t such a bad cook after all.

“Is it edible?” Roger whispered to you when you were sitting at the dinner table. You simply couldn’t ignore how adorable he looked and sounded in that moment.

“It’s lovely,” you said, looking at him with a soft gaze.

You were having the hardest time not to give him a soft peck on the lips, but you resisted. The others didn’t know yet after all and kissing him would definitely mean you would have to spill the beans.

Later that evening you sat in the garden with Roger, the sun slowly vanishing behind all the plants. “You think this is going to fast?” you asked. Lying on Rogers’ lap with your head while fidgeting with your cuticles. Roger was sitting against a tree, his head tilted back just a little.

“Us?” he said.

“Yeah,”

“No. Maybe? well, it’s not like we don’t know each other. And like we haven’t sat like this before for example. And for me, it doesn’t feel fast. It’s perfect like this.” He rambled, pausing for a second, staring at you through his lashes. “You are perfect,” he added softly.

“You too. I love you. I’m glad last night happened, to be honest.”

“Me too.”

Silence.

“Close your eyes.” He whispered all of a sudden.

“Why?”

“Just close ‘em,” he said, and he let his hand hover over your face to gently close your eyes. “Listen.” A pause. “What do you hear?”

“Some birds, not a lot, it’s evening.”

“Don’t overthink it.”

“Uhm, some crickets, the wind….my breathing, yours.”

“And what do you feel?”

“Why are you asking me this?” You said, briefly opening your eyes to look at Roger.

“Shhh,” he said, bringing a finger to your lips. “Just experience it.”

“I feel the grass against my feet, it’s a little ticklish; I feel the air; my head hurts a little,” you admitted. “I can feel my clothing. And I feel the heat of your hand against my stomach.” You smiled at that.

“And what do you feel now?” he whispered, bowing down to kiss you.

“Hmmm,” you smiled and murmured against his lips. “I…feel…you. Your…soft…lips.”

Your tongue gently started playing with his and it was so slow and gentle, lazy almost. It made your heart ache but in the best way.

“You taste like nicotine.” You murmured against his lips.

“You hate that don’t you? That I smoke?”

“Yes,” you admitted. “I don’t get why everyone is doing it, it’s gross. You should quit,” you added bluntly.

“It’s not that easy love,” he said, rubbing his finger over the fabric of your dress. And then it was silent again. A peaceful silence. His fingers kept drawing circles over your dress. So soft, so tender, so easy. And your mind started to wander. During moments like this Rogers harsh side sort of seemed to melt away, making him into a gentle and loving boyfriend (if you could call him that now). Something he wouldn’t like to hear, but it was nice, safe.

“You want to sleep under the stars together? Make it good this time?”

“Yeah,” you said in a sleepy voice, barely on this earth anymore. And before Roger knew it he felt your body completely relax. Indicating that you had dozed off into sleep.

A few days later

“Why is the line so long?” Roger whined.

“Because it’s a very well know galleria Roger.”

“You’re speaking Italian now?” he said sarcastically. “Well, don’t be surprised if I’m gone in a few minutes, I’m melting over here.”

“Oh don’t be such a baby. It’s fine. Here, have some water to cool down.” you said, and you let a strap of the backpack slide of your shoulder to grab your isolated water bottle. That thing was your lord and savior during extreme temperatures.

You slid it out of your backpack and enjoyed the cold feeling of the metal radiating against your palms. It was nice to feel something cold against your skin, it was soothing.

Roger was looking the other way, paying attention to something Freddie was saying. And you took the opportunity to place the cold bottle against Rogers’ neck for a second. “Aaaah Jesus Christ woman! You had to do that?! You’ll be the death of me! ‘Almost giving me a heart attack!” he shrieked.

“Thought you wanted to cool down,” you said in a calm voice, trying hard not to chuckle at his dramatic reaction.

“Piss off!” he said, snatching the bottle out of your hands. He looked a little annoyed, but he couldn’t suppress the tiny smile appearing on his face.

He wouldn’t admit it, but he liked these stupid moments were you teased each other, and you did too. It was a bit childish maybe, but fun nonetheless.

“I want some too, so don’t close it yet,” you said. Roger was right… it was indeed incredibly hot.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh piss off, sarcastic asshole.”

“Are you two done teasing each other?” Emily interrupted, and you jumped a little. She shot you a sharp look, giving you an indication of what she was thinking. She definitely knew what was going on between you two, you were sure of it.

“Finally!” Roger said when you entered the building of the gallery. A rush of cold air hit your face, and it was the best feeling after what felt like an hour of waiting.

It was worth the waiting though. Only the building itself was a true piece of art. At first, you didn’t see it, but the ceiling was decorated with a sort of swirling design containing clouds, angels, statues and many other things. It was absolutely stunning, unreal almost. You couldn’t stop looking. There simply was so much to see.

The spiraling compositions made it feel like you got sucked into the artwork, transporting you to a different world. In the middle was what you assumed to be some sort of portrayal of heaven. Showing a figure with beams of light coming from behind. And on the sides were painted statues and pillars. They totally seemed to merge into the actual building. Making it almost impossible to spot the difference between the paint and the actual building.

Sometimes you hated the fact that you knew all these techniques and tricks. It sort of stopped you from looking at art in a normal way, made you overanalyze it sometimes. But on the other hand, it gave you a deeper understanding of it. For instance, with the spiral composition, you knew that it was often used in the period around the 17th century. It added a sense of drama to an artwork, causing the viewer to feel overwhelmed. It was originally a way to lure people to the church. By showing them how beautiful everything could be once in heaven. And that you could only reach it with the help of the church. Although not everyone agreed with that idea.

You flinched when you suddenly heard Emily speak “It’s beautiful isn’t it?” She said.

“yes,” you reacted in awe. It wasn’t the most interesting answer, but you had completely dazed off.

“Roger-”

“If you’re gonna begin about me and Roger again I’m gonna walk away.” You interrupted.

“I was not, but now you’re making me even more suspicious. But what I was gonna say is that Roger and I are gonna go outside for a smoke.”

Shit, now she could ask him questions too.

You were now standing in front of a huge sculpture made completely out of marble. It was unbelievable how it seemed so real. The indents in the skin from finger pressing into it. It blew your mind.

You felt a hand on your waist and you flinched. “Hey, what ya lookin’ at?” Roger said, placing his chin on your shoulder.

“God, why does everyone need to scare me today.”

“Karma for scaring me with that cold ass water bottle of yours this morning.”

“Oh, you’re not gonna tell me you’re still annoyed about that are you?”

“You could never really annoy me,” he said and you chuckled a little.

“Are you enjoying the museum?” You asked.

“It’s cooler than I thought. I’m not that much of a museum person, but this stuff is good.”

“Good? Magnificent! It’s the

crème de la crème

of the art.” you said passionately, making gestures at the statue in front of you.

Roger smiled, you weren’t the most outgoing person. You were generally pretty shy, but when your passionate side came out. Oh boy, you were on fire. The rest of the day was amazing. You were loving all the beauty that surrounded you.

You were currently walking through one of the smaller rooms, Roger by your side. And you were surprised when you felt his hand softly rubbing against yours. His fingers trying to gently grasp your palm. Before you knew it he had succeeded in catching your palm in his and you were now walking through the museum hand in hand. No one said anything. You just walked, and looked, and enjoyed each others company. For a moment, you stood still in front of a particularly beautiful painting. And you couldn’t resist giving Roger a kiss. You quickly scanned the room, no Brian, no Fred, no Deaky, no Emily. Great!

You turned to grab his face, pressing your lips against his, and Rogers hands instinctively wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer and-

“Oh…my…god. I WAS RIGHT!”

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know your thoughts! It’s very much appreciated. And? Did you figure out which gallery it is? If you did, let me know in the comments.

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bisansastarks · 5 years

Text

Healthy Eating Guide

I had an anon who asked to give me my best healthy eating/living tips.

First off, before you begin- remember to always be kind to yourself. Changing your eating and living style is a process. It will not happen over night. You will have days you give in and eat that cupcake- AND THAT IS OKAY. If you go in with the mentality that if you do this and that, you are bad- you will fail.

Healthy living is about being kind to yourself. It’s about forgiving yourself. That is my one number one tip.

Set up a grocery list and free 1 hour (but for the beginning most likely two) to meal prep. Meal prep is my second biggest tip for healthy living. Do you know how many time I’ve been EXHAUSTED from work and had nothing cooked at home and drove past a Mcdonalds? Trust me. Meal preps will save your life. It takes time. Buy a lot of Ziploc bags or Tupperware too. The cool thing is, you don’t really have dishes for the rest of the week and you save time too.

There are a lot of different diet plans you can go with. Some people go Keto. Some people cut out all carbs and sugar. You can try experimenting with it. Some people go vegan and that really works for them. For me, with my depression. I can’t cut out all carbs and sugar- it affects my mood. You wanna be aware of that- it can affect your mood. Now I guarantee the first few days you will be cranky but if you’re feeling truly depressed a week in- your body is telling you something is wrong. I personally go for high protein and calorie watch.

My grocery list looks like this: eggs (you can try to just eat egg whites but a large is 78 calories so it’s really not that bad people are lying to you), ground turkey, turkey cold cuts, chicken breasts, veggies, one or two fruits (fruits contain a lot of sugar, not saying you can’t have as much fruit as you want but it’s best to limit yourself to choosing no more than three different fruits a week), non fat greek yogurt (my marathon running brother highly recommends cottage cheese but I personally find it gross as fuck) snack packs- look at stuff kids eat, they’re small portions but they’re TASTY!!! (Goldfish and pretzels are my go to beef up a boring lunch of cold cuts) and then personally I have a missive sweet tooth and to me, healthy living is NOT DENYING PARTS OF YOURSELF. So I spend a bit of money on low cal sweet treats. This weekend I bought myself three different low cal ice creams. If you’re a cheese girl- BUY THAT CHEESE. Just eat in small doses. If you love pasta- buy some pasta and eat small portions. If you go into a diet thinking you need to deny yourself and hate everything you’re gonna eat- it’s not gonna last.

Healthy food can get boring, lets get real here. I HIGHLY recommend stocking up your spice jars. Condiments can also be a good send. Olive oil based mayo is much less calories and goes great in some tuna. if you like spicy things- get some hot sauce, some siracha, etc etc. Those things have almost no calories. And here’s the trick- if you’re eating healthy all day, sometimes it’s okay if your condiments even have high calories. Get that BBQ sauce. Sweet potatoes are A GODSEND they are so good for you- but if you wanna indulge your sweet tooth, dip them in a bit of olive oil (I will warn you olive oil is VERY fatty so use that careful) and sprinkle some brown sugar on top. It won’t kill your diet, I promise you. ALSO go on pinterest! Copy everything!

CHEAT MEALS ARE SO IMPORTANT. I’m telling you there is no greater high than a well deserved cheat meal. I would start out being kinder to yourself and then getting more strict. For instance, if I was just starting out I’d do a cheat ITEM maybe once every four days. So not a whole meal but one thing- maybe a candy bar, a small bag of chips, a small mcdonalds fries. Then I’d maybe do a cheat once every fourteen days but I’d make it a whole meal. If you’ve been doing it for six months why don’t you give yourself a day where you don’t even think about it. Now I’m not saying on that day you eat three donuts for breakfast, mcdonalds for lunch, and a lasagna for two for dinner- but let yourself not count every calorie that day and say yes to what you want, in reason. ALSO: always ALWAYS plan your cheat meals. There is nothing worse than a cheat meal that doesn’t satisfy you. It will seriously just make you feel like crap that you wasted all those calories on something you weren’t completely salivating over.

Start a food journal. Even if you’re not into counting calories, just taking the time to think about what you’re ingesting will help you be more mindful. I’ve done notebooks but right now I use the Foodplate app and I find it really useful. (don’t do the premium it’s worthless the free version works great)

Anyone who tells you should or can be losing 5 to 10 pounds a week is fucking lying to you. Unless you weigh about 600 pounds that is not feasible or healthy. At my heaviest I weighed 280 and I lost 3 pounds a week and that is what doctors recommend. If you’re losing more, you are starving yourself. It is not healthy and it is NOT sustainable. You will get frustrated and give up and gain it all back.

Drink lots of water! There are water drinking apps. It will help you stay full, and just keep you so much healthier. I also recommend adding chia seeds to your water because that helps you feel more full.

Okay here’s my healthy eating guide. Let me know if anyone is interested in a Gym/ Workout guide!

EDIT: I’m being an utter hypocrite here, but try to cut out diet soda. It will make you bloat which will effect when you weigh yourself.

#healthy eating #dieting #healthy eating guide #my guide

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choiceacarfchris-blog · 5 years

Text

‘Kitchen Nightmares’ Season 2 Restaurants: Where Are They Now?

The Ash can be a significant lover of this television series Kitchen Nightmares,'' and, since you loyal Roundupers understand, she loves to do"Which Are They " content posts. A couple of weeks ago, '' The Ashley learned what has happened which Gordon Ramsey seen throughout the very first year of this series and failed a little sleuthing. (Click on right the following to learn what is been of those most popular inch restaurants! ) ) This moment, located the cameras and also exactly what happened for these later Gordon still left and she dedicated to the 2 eateries. There is good information.

Sabatiello"Sammy" Settembre, whoever owns the Italian steak house, had been over $1 million if he first predicted Gordon to simply help out him. He had been famous for his hot temper, inadequate customer care and also family/kitchen personnel that was mad. The dog master got crazy if Gordon chased the lasagna recipe of his mother, kicking out everyone time and inducing a struggle that caused the master shutting his cafe. (Consistently a wise move!) Serene his temper a little, and also gordon functioned to alter out the menu. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! The cafe shut down, however, this has been the commencement the issues of Sammy, of the owner. A couple of months following the incident led the firm proceeded belly up, also he had been going to be evicted in the land. Until it was taken by the financial institution , sammy made a decision to own fun with all the place. He supposedly trashed that the cafe, inducing significantly more than 20,000 worth of harm, based on a post while inside the Stanford Advocate. He was arrested for mischief because of that damage in '09 which he brought about. (as stated by this guide,"the harm smashed mirrors and cosmetic glass was uncovered December 4, even as soon as a country marshal and landlord strove to function Settembre with nefarious documents, court documents say") Sammy opened a pizzeria at a city up, however nonetheless, it collapsed and he needed to declare insolvency. He was arrested back on felony larceny expenses later"an organization told authorities he billed significantly more than $20,000 to a credit score card awarded for him to cover a deposit to get a xmas party last year wintermonths," in accordance for the informative article . Handle-bar (Mt. Sinai, Newyork ): Simply click right the following to see a clip of this incident. Handle-bar has been the very restaurant which Gordon seen throughout Season two. Even the extended Island cafe needed an upset fighter, clients and cluttered fridges which screamed at all. The dreadful fridges disgusted Gordon (inspite of how the owner and chef insisted they certainly were"a nightmare of lots cleaner than they're just six months past!" Um...did you get filthy diapers and pickled stool within until? Gross! When Gordon revisited the place and matters have been looking great into on the cafe turned into a gastro bar. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! While matters were allegedly"appearing" to get handle-bar if Gordon failed the followup series that the cafe shut so on following in '09. The awful fortune lasted with handle-bar shut downagain. The cafe which started at its location shut down this season and lasted per season. Afterward although it hastens shut in 2011. The area sits vacant. Gordon seen with this Italian restaurant and located not really a wholly dysfunctional household (partner and husband in regards to divorce, dad and child in chances ) but additionally crappy Italian food that is cooked in the microwave. (U M, when I needed that, I would go purchase any Spaghetti O!) By simply allowing the kid require hands on this cafe to permit his daddy mend the household group, in addition to gordon strove to correct the awful menu of the restaurant have time. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! The cafe appreciated a flourishing firm when it seemed about the series, using just one Yelper expression,"Basking in the shine of these Gordon Ramsey make-over to the September 2008 variant of'Kitchen Nightmares' that this region was tricky to have involved with" But by 2009 matters had slowed up and, again although it received rave testimonials on cafe inspection websites, Giuseppi's shut down Black Pearl (Nyc, Nyc ): Simply click right the following to see a clip of this incident. The incident was clearly one of my own favorites. Gordon seen the brand new York fish restaurant and also fulfilled using yet one who is a complete douche-bag who every one wants along with its own owners one that hates getting there. These were able to come in an identical moment conduct a pub. The menu altered and experimented with find owners and the staff to interact as a way to conserve the cafe. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! This really really is among the tales to emerge from year two. Four times following the"Black Pearl" event aired, the cafe closed down. The proprietors have been maintaining the internet site of the restaurant, Fourteen days following the cafe closed ! The proprietors composed which Gordon's fluctuations led to the earnings of the restaurant to fall and eventually resulted in the enterprise! "very well, right following 3 decades, we've recovered our very final clam and shucked our final oyster. About October 1 ) we bought our rental and fittings to some body who maybe equipped to manage the exceptionally large price of conducting business at nyc," the proprietors submitted around the site. "Since you might be aware in Februarywe filmed the episode of Motor Nightmares, in our restaurant, even longing to find the ideal. We're believing the series wasn't at least fair; we all anticipated that a increase from your promotion, and we all felt we can find some thing with that damned. "The depressing truth is, by the start, it had been evident the series was a joke,''" that the rant ongoing. "In the exact first evening that they certainly were pioneered, the fluctuations Gordy Ramsay manufactured were cheered from the media, despised by our ordinary clients and would be also the primary result of the 50% decrease in earnings. And, we're unable to recoup financially" To learn the complete article, just simply click on right the following . This quotation states that it in relation to many owners believed in their reality-tv experience. "whilst I really expect Gordo matches an untimely departure therefore I can dancing his tomb, now is the time to go ahead." Geez, let's how you feel, friend! Simply click right the following to see a clip in this incident. Gordon was good with the couple of that restaurant, thanks to how these certainly were. Stillthey were needing of some significant menu overhaul, in addition to a reversal of workers (notably the mind chef that did not find out just how exactly to thaw meals precisely ) Gordon altered a few of the team for matters and the restaurant's most re-launch plus the menu did actually return on the right course to its pair that was hard working. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! The cafe closed down to good at April 2009 and also there were also still reports which the proprietors stopped up savings in to the restaurant. (I can not confirm that, yet ) It appears that the few has return in their own feet and also so were starting a fresh restaurant at 2011, as demonstrated by your Gayot narrative. Simply click right the following to see a clip of this incident. This Californian cafe comprised vegetarian and vegan foods, that has been an initial for Gordon. He coped with all the restaurant disrespectful team, also has been mad to realize the cafe had been practicing dangerous food groundwork, and of course serving"imitation" fish. He had been amused with the mad perspiration issue of the manager! Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! As soon as the proprietors chose to market the cafe closed its doors June 1, 2011. "We're available the cafe," certainly one of those owners instructed that a buff around the restaurant face-book web page. "The brand new owner is going to have a wholly new idea, tho, it doesn't further be Sante La Brea. It truly is really a exact bittersweet moment for individuals... we've been trying to proceed ahead to additional ventures for a long moment, however we still believe miserable about permitting our down loyal customers. It really is amusing -- we are now selling a moment when our company is definitely Booming (significantly more than before, truly ) -- therefore that it's undoubtedly not really just a intelligent financial movement ahead the role -- ha! But now we have been therefore blessed that we're able to go on a more bizarre note" Simply click right the following to see a clip in this incident. Gordon revealed the proprietors opened up the location a couple nights per week and also seen with this amorous cafe. That, together with also a feud involving the 2 proprietors and also menu, caused the cafe using just its catering firm. Matters got very awful when to being dangerous Gordon detected serious of foodstuff and also needed to close the restaurant down Valentine's Day. (He stretched'Caution' tape on the other side of your kitchen!'' ) Gordon chose the cafe could fare far even when it'd a texture to also an menu along with it. In addition, he functioned to better their partnership. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! As stated by a post in NJ month to month , the proprietors assert that their clients loathed the fluctuations Gordon manufactured plus so they return into their own old manners even prior to the incident aired. "He believed that the telecast could attract him fresh small enterprise enterprise, however nonetheless, it just produced calls from followers of this series chastising him not carrying Ramsay's information," the post mentioned. "Citing the reduction in company catering firm from the nose-diving market (it'd already been half of his earnings,'' he states ) Posner closed Hannah & Mason's at January of [2009], nevertheless he claims that the series needed no or little influence regarding the choice " This is just another very excellent report about the cafe's adventure on this series. Need to understand very well what happened for one Season two dining places? They experienced the exact fate while the eateries clarified previously. This BBQ joint lasted a ton more than almost all of the two eating places. They shut May 2011. The dog master composed this exact candy thank-you notice into Gordon Ramsay, also insisted the full time Gordon invested taught him much about conducting a cafe along with also just how to become a director.Fiesta Sun Rise (West Nyack, Ny ): CLOSED! Gordon was thanks to the way cluttered their own toilet had been hard to the proprietors with the cafe. Even though Gordon manufactured changes about this method by which in which the family maintained your kitchenthe cafe had been captured at November 2008 for never paying back its rear earnings and has been closed down to excellent ahead of the incident aired. Gordon criticized this particular restaurant due to its stale and decoration and too little principle. Gordon simplified the menu also gave a new brand new appearance to the spot. The proprietors maintained the hints of Gordon however were made to shut. The cafe was re opened by them and then also included menu products along with that a dancing floor, however the region collapsed. The proprietors opened a restaurant named Jack's on the River,'' and that, by exactly what Yelpers claimed, experienced precisely exactly the very same menu since the water front of Jack. Regrettably that cafe experienced exactly the exact identical fate .Trobiano's (Great Neck, Ny ): CLOSED! This restaurant was a very intriguing story. Anthony Trobiano, the owner, requested his girlfriend mother and father. Plus also then they also even did. (Exactly what? That has never occurred for you personally?) Gordon located lots of issues in Trobiano's: a owner that did not understand such a thing regarding food, also akitchen cluttered with soil and also (ew) mouse ), plus a team who loathed their tasks. Irrespective of Gordon's fluctuations, the cafe had been closed and captured from the financial institution later the dog master failed to cover his taxation, as stated by the write-up . Anthony after turned into a chef in the other very long Island Italian pub.

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captainmorgan-claire-blog · 5 years

Text

‘Kitchen Nightmares’ Season 2 Restaurants: Where Are They Now?

This moment, located the cameras and also exactly what happened for these later Gordon still left and she dedicated to the 2 eateries. There is good information. Sabatiello"Sammy" Settembre, whoever owns the Italian steak house, had been over $1 million if he first predicted Gordon to simply help out him. He had been famous for his hot temper, inadequate customer care and also family/kitchen personnel that was mad. The dog master got crazy if Gordon chased the lasagna recipe of his mother, kicking out everyone time and inducing a struggle that caused the master shutting his cafe. (Consistently a wise move!) Serene his temper a little, and also gordon functioned to alter out the menu. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! The cafe shut down, however, this has been the commencement the issues of Sammy, of the owner. A couple of months following the incident led the firm proceeded belly up, also he had been going to be evicted in the land. Until it was taken by the financial institution , sammy made a decision to own fun with all the place. He supposedly trashed that the cafe, inducing significantly more than 20,000 worth of harm, based on a post while inside the Stanford Advocate. He was arrested for mischief because of that damage in '09 which he brought about. (as stated by this guide,"the harm smashed mirrors and cosmetic glass was uncovered December 4, even as soon as a country marshal and landlord strove to function Settembre with nefarious documents, court documents say") Sammy opened a pizzeria at a city up, however nonetheless, it collapsed and he needed to declare insolvency. He was arrested back on felony larceny expenses later"an organization told authorities he billed significantly more than $20,000 to a credit score card awarded for him to cover a deposit to get a xmas party last year wintermonths," in accordance for the informative article . Handle-bar (Mt. Sinai, Newyork ): Simply click right the following to see a clip of this incident. Handle-bar has been the very restaurant which Gordon seen throughout Season two. Even the extended Island cafe needed an upset fighter, clients and cluttered fridges which screamed at all. The dreadful fridges disgusted Gordon (inspite of how the owner and chef insisted they certainly were"a nightmare of lots cleaner than they're just six months past!" Um...did you get filthy diapers and pickled stool within until? Gross! When Gordon revisited the place and matters have been looking great into on the cafe turned into a gastro bar. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! While matters were allegedly"appearing" to get handle-bar if Gordon failed the followup series that the cafe shut so on following in '09. The awful fortune lasted with handle-bar shut downagain. The cafe which started at its location shut down this season and lasted per season. Afterward although it hastens shut in 2011. The area sits vacant. Gordon seen with this Italian restaurant and located not really a wholly dysfunctional household (partner and husband in regards to divorce, dad and child in chances ) but additionally crappy Italian food that is cooked in the microwave. (U M, when I needed that, I would go purchase any Spaghetti O!) By simply allowing the kid require hands on this cafe to permit his daddy mend the household group, in addition to gordon strove to correct the awful menu of the restaurant have time. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! The cafe appreciated a flourishing firm when it seemed about the series, using just one Yelper expression,"Basking in the shine of these Gordon Ramsey make-over to the September 2008 variant of'Kitchen Nightmares' that this region was tricky to have involved with" But by 2009 matters had slowed up and, again although it received rave testimonials on cafe inspection websites, Giuseppi's shut down Black Pearl (Nyc, Nyc ): Simply click right the following to see a clip of this incident. The incident was clearly one of my own favorites. Gordon seen the brand new York fish restaurant and also fulfilled using yet one who is a complete douche-bag who every one wants along with its own owners one that hates getting there. These were able to come in an identical moment conduct a pub. The menu altered and experimented with find owners and the staff to interact as a way to conserve the cafe. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! This really really is among the tales to emerge from year two. Four times following the"Black Pearl" event aired, the cafe closed down. The proprietors have been maintaining the internet site of the restaurant, Fourteen days following the cafe closed ! The proprietors composed which Gordon's fluctuations led to the earnings of the restaurant to fall and eventually resulted in the enterprise! "very well, right following 3 decades, we've recovered our very final clam and shucked our final oyster. About October 1 ) we bought our rental and fittings to some body who maybe equipped to manage the exceptionally large price of conducting business at nyc," the proprietors submitted around the site. "Since you might be aware in Februarywe filmed the episode of Motor Nightmares, in our restaurant, even longing to find the ideal. We're believing the series wasn't at least fair; we all anticipated that a increase from your promotion, and we all felt we can find some thing with that damned. "The depressing truth is, by the start, it had been evident the series was a joke,''" that the rant ongoing. "In the exact first evening that they certainly were pioneered, the fluctuations Gordy Ramsay manufactured were cheered from the media, despised by our ordinary clients and would be also the primary result of the 50% decrease in earnings. And, we're unable to recoup financially" To learn the complete article, just simply click on right the following . This quotation states that it in relation to many owners believed in their reality-tv experience. "whilst I really expect Gordo matches an untimely departure therefore I can dancing his tomb, now is the time to go ahead." Geez, let's how you feel, friend! Simply click right the following to see a clip in this incident. Gordon was good with the couple of that restaurant, thanks to how these certainly were. Stillthey were needing of some significant menu overhaul, in addition to a reversal of workers (notably the mind chef that did not find out just how exactly to thaw meals precisely ) Gordon altered a few of the team for matters and the restaurant's most re-launch plus the menu did actually return on the right course to its pair that was hard working. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! The cafe closed down to good at April 2009 and also there were also still reports which the proprietors stopped up savings in to the restaurant. (I can not confirm that, yet ) It appears that the few has return in their own feet and also so were starting a fresh restaurant at 2011, as demonstrated by your Gayot narrative. Simply click right the following to see a clip of this incident. This Californian cafe comprised vegetarian and vegan foods, that has been an initial for Gordon. He coped with all the restaurant disrespectful team, also has been mad to realize the cafe had been practicing dangerous food groundwork, and of course serving"imitation" fish. He had been amused with the mad perspiration issue of the manager! Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! As soon as the proprietors chose to market the cafe closed its doors June 1, 2011. "We're available the cafe," certainly one of those owners instructed that a buff around the restaurant face-book web page. "The brand new owner is going to have a wholly new idea, tho, it doesn't further be Sante La Brea. It truly is really a exact bittersweet moment for individuals... we've been trying to proceed ahead to additional ventures for a long moment, however we still believe miserable about permitting our down loyal customers. It really is amusing -- we are now selling a moment when our company is definitely Booming (significantly more than before, truly ) -- therefore that it's undoubtedly not really just a intelligent financial movement ahead the role -- ha! But now we have been therefore blessed that we're able to go on a more bizarre note" Simply click right the following to see a clip in this incident. Gordon revealed the proprietors opened up the location a couple nights per week and also seen with this amorous cafe. That, together with also a feud involving the 2 proprietors and also menu, caused the cafe using just its catering firm. Matters got very awful when to being dangerous Gordon detected serious of foodstuff and also needed to close the restaurant down Valentine's Day. (He stretched'Caution' tape on the other side of your kitchen!'' ) Gordon chose the cafe could fare far even when it'd a texture to also an menu along with it. In addition, he functioned to better their partnership. Reputation at 2014: CLOSED! As stated by a post in NJ month to month , the proprietors assert that their clients loathed the fluctuations Gordon manufactured plus so they return into their own old manners even prior to the incident aired. "He believed that the telecast could attract him fresh small enterprise enterprise, however nonetheless, it just produced calls from followers of this series chastising him not carrying Ramsay's information," the post mentioned. "Citing the reduction in company catering firm from the nose-diving market (it'd already been half of his earnings,'' he states ) Posner closed Hannah & Mason's at January of [2009], nevertheless he claims that the series needed no or little influence regarding the choice " This is just another very excellent report about the cafe's adventure on this series. Need to understand very well what happened for one Season two dining places? They experienced the exact fate while the eateries clarified previously. This BBQ joint lasted a ton more than almost all of the two eating places. They shut May 2011. The dog master composed this exact candy thank-you notice into Gordon Ramsay, also insisted the full time Gordon invested taught him much about conducting a cafe along with also just how to become a director.Fiesta Sun Rise (West Nyack, Ny ): CLOSED! Gordon was thanks to the way cluttered their own toilet had been hard to the proprietors with the cafe. Even though Gordon manufactured changes about this method by which in which the family maintained your kitchenthe cafe had been captured at November 2008 for never paying back its rear earnings and has been closed down to excellent ahead of the incident aired. Gordon criticized this particular restaurant due to its stale and decoration and too little principle. Gordon simplified the menu also gave a new brand new appearance to the spot. The proprietors maintained the hints of Gordon however were made to shut. The cafe was re opened by them and then also included menu products along with that a dancing floor, however the region collapsed. The proprietors opened a restaurant named Jack's on the River,'' and that, by exactly what Yelpers claimed, experienced precisely exactly the very same menu since the water front of Jack. Regrettably that cafe experienced exactly the exact identical fate .Trobiano's (Great Neck, Ny ): CLOSED! This restaurant was a very intriguing story. Anthony Trobiano, the owner, requested his girlfriend mother and father. Plus also then they also even did. (Exactly what? That has never occurred for you personally?) Gordon located lots of issues in Trobiano's: a owner that did not understand such a thing regarding food, also akitchen cluttered with soil and also (ew) mouse ), plus a team who loathed their tasks. Irrespective of Gordon's fluctuations, the cafe had been closed and captured from the financial institution later the dog master failed to cover his taxation, as stated by the write-up . Anthony after turned into a chef in the other very long Island Italian pub.

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littleliv1 · 5 years

Text

I Was Born To Love You- Part Seven

Hey guys! For starters, yes, I know this one is longer, and yes, I know a director of a movie wouldn't let everyone take days off to be with an assistant giving birth. And yes, I'm aware that it probably took them longer than 9 months to make the movie. Just pretend like everything worked out okay?!?

Summary: Leah finally gives birth to her son, who she named after a very important figure in her life, giving him the cutest nick name. She and Ben exchange their feelings for one another.

Warnings: it's kind of gross, she gives birth, language, fluff LOTS OF FLUFF,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weeks had passed since the baby shower. The guys helped me set up the baby's room. They all asked me the name, but I told them I didn't want to decide until I saw him. Truthfully, I wasn't sure. Nothing has happened with Ben and I, though. I was 8 months pregnant. He was due in four weeks. I've grown to love him more than I've ever loved anyone. But man was I scared. I would eventually be alone to take care of him. The dogs were growing up. Easily trainable, though. That's good. I was never truly alone.

We were at the studio. They were filming their final scenes, filming would be done within the next few days. I was [huge]. It was hard to fit anywhere, I couldn't drive, and things were hurting. Lucy has been so good during this time. I was officially divorced, but I didn't think of myself as single. I belonged to the only man in my life, my son. I loved the name Harrison. I got lost in my trail of thought, as I heard Bryan telling me to hurry with a task I was apparently in the middle of. I finished whatever it was that I was doing, not realizing I was staring at Ben the whole time. But he sure noticed. Man, I know exactly how to make a fool of myself. I looked away quickly. I came to Bryan when I was done. "Thank you dear, take a few hours to yourself." He said. I nodded, smiling and went back into the group meeting room. That's just where my stuff was. I sat down, feeling my belly burning. It was my skin so dry. I started to rub some cocoa butter on it. It had hints of lavender in it, so it really relaxed me. I laid my head back, letting my thoughts take over.

The thought of Bens hands rubbing this on my belly, as I sit in between his legs, while we watch the sun set, the light glimmering off of his face just perfectly. He was so perfect. This should be his baby. I think I'm falling in l-

My thoughts were interrupted by Gwilym who was in full Brian May costume. My eyes widen. "I don't think I can ever get used to seeing you like that," I said, rubbing the lotion in more, and then pulling my shirt down. I sat up a little, resting my hands on my belly. "Sorry to interrupt you, just left my phone in here, I have to call Angie back." He said. I'm not sure how I like this new girl he's talking to. She's very demanding, always getting mad if he doesn't answer her right away, even got mad at him for coming to my baby shower. "I understand, dear."

As he started to ring her, I felt a small pain. It kind of felt like gas, or maybe I was a bit hungry. I guess Gwilym could see the look of discomfort on my face, because he stopped ringing Angie and sat on the coffee table in front of the couch I was on. "Are you alright?" He said. I took a minute to breath, the feeling passed, but I was still hungry. "Yeah I'm fine, I think I want to go to a buffet." I said. He laughed at the comment. "Well I think Bryan will let us off for an hour or so and we could all go out to eat, sound good, Momma?" He said, patting my knee. Momma was a new nickname the guys had made for me. I really didn't mind it, I thought it was sweet. "Yes, sounds lovely." I said smiling at him.

A few minutes passed and all four guys plus Brian and Roger came in. They heard I wanted food and all chimed in wanting food. So we all went to 'Fosters Buffet and Bar' to grab a bite.

Once we got into the empty restaurant, we were sat immediately. We started to fill our plates with all kinds of things. I got mashed potatoes, fries, what looked to be a vegetarian lasagna, and some fresh tomatoes. I hadn't eaten meat my entire pregnancy. After basically inhaling my food and three plates later I keep feeling those weird pains. I'd been having Braxton Hicks contractions and they didn't exactly feel like that, I just figured maybe I ate too much. "Feel better, momma?" Gwilym said, rubbing my back. I didn't want to scare anyone with a false alarm, so I lied and nodded my head. We then returned to the set to finish filming.

I was walking around on set, watching everyone film, and held Bryan's coffee as he explains what he wants from the actors. It was one of the final scenes. They had a few more weeks of filming left, but they were almost done. We were inside for this particular scene, however. All of a sudden, I felt something. It didn't exactly hurt, it kind of felt like a small period cramp but then- holy shit. It turned a mild cramp into blinding pain. I took all of the pregnancy classes, I wanted to give birth naturally with no medications, Ben showed up to a bunch of them, but I knew how to coach myself through them. Just not this first one.

The pain grew worse. So bad it took me a minute to process. So bad that I dropped Bryan's coffee and the clip board. Everyone knew what was happening once they saw my expression. Ben came out of no where, and grabbed my hand with his hand and my back with his other. Then came the screaming. I really couldn't help it. It felt like lasted an eternity until the pain slowed enough for me to speak. "Im s-so sorry for the coff-ee-e," I managed to get out. I started to breath, remembering what my birthing coach taught me. "Should I call your midwife?" Ben said. "N-not yet, my wa-water-" and with that, my body knew it was time once I felt a small leak between my legs that turned into a busted water pipe. '[Holy hell],' I thought. I really didn't think it'd be that much. "I'm calling her," He said. He started to guide me outside. "You guys can finish without me. I'm not even in this scene. Come by her house once you're done, it'll be a while, yes, hi Amanda," He started, I assumed she answered. She knew he wasn't the father, but she always told me he'd make a damn good one. And I always agreed.

We got outside and he drove us to my house. On the way there, [more] liquid started coming out. "I'm so sorry but I'm leaking on your car seat," I said, trying to laugh but interrupted by another contraction. The 20 minute tie felt like a 20 year one. The mid-sized husky/border collie pups, who we named Sasha and Bevin, started to jump on me, welcoming me home. "I love them so much but damnit get them into the dinning room and close the doors, they have food and water in there." I instructed Ben, as he did so immediately. He walked me to my bed room as another contraction hit. This one wasn't as bad, now that I had been on top of the pain, doing my breathing exercises. I was finally in the comfort of my own home. Austin made it clear that he didn't care when the baby was born. He offered to pay child support, but honestly, fuck him. I make enough money to support me and my son. I found the back of the couch through the pain, leaning on it as I felt Ben behind me, rocking my hips side to side. He talked to me through it. I couldn't tell you why, but him doing that felt good, it seemed to relieve some of the pressure.

I was breathing in and out, when my midwife arrived. "Hi, sweetheart," said the middle aged, red head. Her presence was also comforting. She had dark green eyes, and tattooed eyeliner. She had a country accent. "Hi," I said, still swaying my hips through the pain. It stopped after a few more seconds. I leaned back up, and started to rub my belly. "How have contractions been so far? Have you been timing them?" She asked recording it on her clipboard, which had cartoon koala bears on it. "Uh, I think-" "Between the first and second was 10 minutes, then it was 8, those are all the ones so far." Bed said, looking at her, then my bump, grazing his hand on it. 'Huh,’ I thought. "Alright, well just like we've talked about, let's get some fresh sheets on the bed, along with a butt load of towels. I'll unload my equipment." She said. I nodded, Ben and I walking down the hallway. I grabbed about 10 towels, and he was quick- as quick as you could be when gently taking off sheets and blankets and then folding them and setting them in a different room- to replace the sheets. "All I'm saying is that was not necessary," I said referring to his little neat freak episode, managing to laugh it out. He shrugged his shoulders smirking. "Hey-" He started but was intreated by Amanda. "Alright, good good. Leah, why don't you put on a sports bra, and some shorts for your modesty and I'll check to see how dilated you are." She said. I nodded, ripping my shirt and pants off, as fast as I could for being 34 weeks pregnant. Wait. 34? He's a month early. This was concerning to me. As soon as I managed to get shorts on, with the help of Ben, I had to bring it up. "Amanda, he's 4 weeks early. Is this safe?" I asked. She smiled. "Baby's come when they're ready. Don't stress about it. If there is an issue, the hospital is left than thirty minutes away." She said, patting the bed. I laid down, pulling my shorts off. It felt weird to be like this, but Ben didn't look, he always just looked at my face. "Hm, you're only about three centimeters dilated. It'll be a while. If you want to snack a little bit, now it the chance. After 5, it's no more. Nothing big, okay?" She said. I nodded my head, pulling my shorts back on. I got out of the bed, feeling another contraction.

This one was painful. "8 minutes again," Ben said, almost noting it to himself. "Mmmmmm," was all I could manage out. It moaned in pain. Ben came up from behind me, holding my hands in his, leaning us forward a bit. Again, swaying slightly. He was so calm and that's just what I needed. I squeezed his hands as hard as I could. But I managed to breath through it. Once it finally ended, I ate a protein bar. My favorite one, it was a apple pie cliff bar. That was all I could manage before I got to six centimeters. From the time I was four to six, five hours had gone by. I felt like this was the slowest labor ever.

Soon enough, the guys and Lucy got here. Ben was holding me through another contraction, as he saw them walk in. He smiled, giving them all a 'Hey' or 'hello'. He was just so nonchalant. They started to last longer and it was getting harder to do this. Especially without my mom. I had always pictured it'd be her walking through the front door, asking how her baby is doing delivering her first grandson. She and my dad were all I could think about. I closed my eyes, and tried to imagine what it would be like if things were normal.

"Hey! Hey, Leah, Nate and Lisa are here!" I heard Austin say while guiding me through some hard contractions. "There's my girl!" My mum said, cupping my face with her hands. She smelled like flowers. "Hurry up with this! I have to meet my grandson!" I heard Dad yell. I laughed through it. Mum came up to my belly, patting it. I looked down at my bump. "I know you're ready, my love. I'm ready, too." I whispered. My mum took a picture of us two- almost three. The picture was perfect. "Oh my girl!" She said, her voice draining out.

My thoughts were again interrupted. "57 seconds," Ben said, looking at Amanda. "Hey guys," I whispered, drained of energy. Lucy's face was bright, as she let go of Rami's arm and slowly walked over to me. "How are you, my love?" She said, cupping my face and kissed my check. "I'm okay, the contractions are getting worse. I'm hoping he comes before you guys pass out." I said jokingly. Everyone laughed quietly. "We got some strong brewed coffee on the way here. Plus we're all hyped on adrenaline." Rami said. "I can't wait to meet this sweet little boy." Joe said, kneeling in front of me, smiling. "Would it be okay if I took a selfie with your bump?" He said. I laughed at the odd request but I gave him permission. "I have an idea! Can we paint a loading screen that's all the way 'loaded' and say sending? Like in one of your picture on Instagram, Leah, how it says '50% loaded' when you were 5 months?" Lucy said. I nodded my head. "Might wanna hurry, they're getting closer." I showed them to the body paints and they were quick to do it. I started to contract again with the paint on. Ben held my hands from behind leaning forward, coaching me threw it in my ear. Joe captured a picture of it. He posted his selfie along with that picture and captioned it "Baby Mallory is on his way!"

A few hours of lame jokes and many many contractions later, I was almost ready to push. Nine centimeters. She had me on the bed, and checked me. My stomach turned in knots. "Alright everyone. It's time. Ben can stay in, but I'll have to ask everyone to leave the room." She said. They all kissed me on the forehead, wishing me luck. Before leaving, Lucy lot some candles and turned on my calming sound track. '[I fucking love that woman,'] I thought to myself. And it began.

"On your next contraction, start to push." She said. I nodded my head, closing my eyes for a moment, then opened them up to meet Bens. For a moment, I wasn't in pain. I couldn't feel the labor. Looking into his eyes made all of that go away. "Ben," I started. "Yes?" He said. He knew what I wanted to say. "I-" I tried to start, but was again interrupted by the worst pain I've ever felt. I broke my left femur in a bad car wreck when I was 16, and that was nothing compared to this. I couldn't help but to scream. I have to say, I was proud of myself that that was the first time I screamed during labor. But I couldn't focus on pride, I had to meet my son.

Ben held my hand as I pushed for the first time. "Alright, that's it, that's it," she said, counting up to ten. "Nine- and ten." She finished. I took a moment, then had to push again. I started to focus on the music. I focused on the words of 'Sign on the Window' by Bob Dylan. "You're doing great, Leah. You got this." Ben said, I could only hear him faintly. The pain was now not only blinding, but deafening. It felt like someone lite a match and stuck it inside of me. Like something was tearing its way out. And it quite literally was.

'Sign on the door says no company allowed'

All I could hear was the song, the tamber of Bens voice, and the word 'ten'.

'Ten'

Push

'Ten'

Push

'Head, head' I faintly heard.

'Ten'

Push

A new sound entered. It took seconds to realize it was the sound of a baby. My baby. He was finally here. My already tear soaked eyes, started to sob. "My baby, my baby boy," I whaled. Ben looked at me with a huge grin, also crying.

His cry was the most beautiful song. He was the most perfect baby.

But blood was everywhere. "Leah, do you want to cut the umbilical cord?" She asked. I shook my head, looking at Ben. "I want him to," I said, putting my finger on his chest. "Really?" He said. I nodded my head, wiping his tears from his eyes. He kissed the palm of my hand. He leaned down and cut the cord. "I'm sorry, but I saw your vagina." He said. We both laughed, as Amanda took him to clean him up. I looked into his eyes once again. "Ben," I started. "Yes?" He said, once more. "Thank you for doing everything you've done for me while being pregnant." I said, smiling up. "I'll do everything I can still. As long as you'll let me." He said. I nodded my head, sobbing again. "This baby needs a daddy. And if you're willing to raise a baby that isn't yours, I hope to God it could be you." I said to him. Maybe that was too much. But he didn't seem to mind. He kissed me. The second kiss we've shared. "Be apart of our family?" I asked him. And he nodded, kissing me again.

About ten minutes later, he was clean. She gave my son to Ben, and started to clean me up. It had been about an hour. We replaced the sheets as well as we could without me moving, and we were ready to try feeding. Ben handed my the boy. He hadn't opened his eyes yet. "He's a hungry one, look, he's grabbing for you," Amanda said. And he was. I laughed a bit. I had stopped crying, and pulled out my swollen breast. He knew immediately what was going on and ate right away. I squealed a bit, looking at Ben. "Does it feel weird?" He asked. "A little, but normal. A good weird, but normal." I said, smiling at him, then the baby. "Does the boy have a name yet?" She asked. I brought my smile up to meet her. "Yes. His name is Nathaniel. After my dad. Nathaniel Brian Roger Mallory. The three greatest men that I've ever had in my life." I said.

Taglist: @amy-brooklyn99 @florenceivy

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy #queen fanfiction #pregnancy #birth

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villainousvillains · 6 years

Text

Loki x Reader - There’s Always More

Requested by Anon: 💚💚 love the blog darling! could you maybe do a loki oneshot where the reader had fallen in love with Loki, but never told him? so loki goes on and gets a girlfriend, introduces her to everyone and the reader is just devastated? and maybe the reader ends up confessing her love for loki during a screaming match they have.

A/N: I’m trying to get back into the writing groove, sorry for taking so long to get something out. I blame summer fever. Hope this is more satisfactory that I think it is lol.

For the fourth time, Loki took the leftover lasagna out of the microwave, touched it, then put it back in.

“You’re taking forever,” I stated, staring at him as I sat on the stool at the counter. I propped my chin in my right hand, annoyed yet entertained by the god who couldn’t figure out the microwave.

“It’s still cold,” Loki muttered, putting a few more seconds on the microwave.

“Then try putting more than…” I leaned over to see the time he had inputted, “ten seconds on at a time.”

“I don’t want to burn it,” Loki said as if he were stating the obvious. I smiled.

“Right. We don’t want another popcorn incident, do we?” I teased.

Loki narrowed his eyes and shook his head at my audacity to speak of such a thing. It was times likes these that overwhelmed me with feelings and made me want to confess everything. Sadly, however, that was not how I dealt with these things. My plan was usually to ignore the feelings until I was over 100% positive the other person felt the same way. Sure, the plan had its faults, but that was how I chose to live my life.

“You’re going to be around tonight, aren’t you?” Loki asked, taking his food out again.

My heart skipped a beat, but I ignored it. “Yeah. Why?”

Loki shrugged. “I just want you to meet someone.”

I nodded, not understanding what that meant at all. That wasn’t really what I expected him to say, but that could still be good, right?

Nope. Not right. Very wrong, I soon learned. Loki had disappeared all day which was something that did happen once and a while, but it had been happening more often lately which both concerned and aggravated me.

He finally showed back up a little before dinner along with the person I assumed he wanted me to meet. All of my fears resurfaced when he walked in with a beautiful girl. Loki didn’t have an arm around her or anything, but it was obvious he was introducing her to everyone as his girlfriend.

His girlfriend. I felt sick.

Not sad, or angry, or… some other negative emotion. Just… kind of sick. I dealt with this by doing the only thing I knew how to do. I allowed a low groan to rumble through my throat and squeezed my eyes shut for half a second before I smiled and walked on over to introduce myself.

And afterwards, I ran to the gym.

“Oh my god!” I grunted, fists clenched. I frantically looked around for some boxing gloves. I had never boxed before, but Steve would do it when he was mad, so I thought I’d give it a whirl. I kept my teeth clenched as I shoved my hands into the gloves.

I would fluctuate between being mad for thinking I even had a chance with Loki, then sad for the same reason. I kept trying to sort out my emotions because that always seemed to help me, but then I realized I couldn’t which only made me angrier.

“You’re really bad at that,” a voice said behind me. I knew who it was immediately and let out a sigh as my hands dropped to my side.

“I know,” I replied, keeping my tone even and calm. I kept my eyes down as I turned around and pulled the gloves off. “Those are… sweaty,” I muttered.

“Are you okay?” Loki asked. “I’ve never seen you… box before.” He walked over to me, a small smile playing on his lips. He really had no idea. I almost went along with it. It would have been easier to pretend I was annoyed by some other avenger and then we could just go back to normal, joking around with each other and me ignoring everything I felt. But I didn’t want to. Not anymore. It was exhausting.

“I thought I’d try it. Steve seems to enjoy it.”

“He also enjoys five hour workouts and going to bed at 7:00.”

I was supposed to laugh, I know, but I kept my straight face. I looked at the ground as my elbows sat on my knees and hands were clasped.

“Do you not like Isabel?”

I pressed my lips together and shook my head. “No, of course not. I like her.” I cleared my throat. “Where did you… where did you meet her again?” Every word I tried to speak hurt so much.

“That movie I went to with Thor,” he replied, the playful smile leaving his face, replacing it with a truly concerned one. He could tell from my tone.

“Right. When I was sick.”

“Yes.”

There was silence for a few seconds. Loki looked around the room while I focused my gaze on the floor.

“So you’re not going to tell me what’s wrong? That usually means it’s my fault.”

I hesitated and looked up at him. “It is.”

“Oh. I see.”

“You see?” I snapped out of my daze and stood up so I wouldn’t have to break my neck trying to see his face. “I highly doubt that you see.”

“You like my new girlfriend just fine, but you’re jealous,” he said triumphantly as if he had solved the most difficult of puzzles. I felt a fire in my stomach.

“I’m sorry,” I said loudly and overdramatically, “What?”

“You are jealous because I may not be spending as much time with you and you-”

“Oh my god!” I shouted. “So many things wrong with everything you just said!” Loki clamped his mouth shut. “Don’t say I’m jealous of anyone ever because that is a petty emotion that only makes you feel like you have some sort of power of me or some dumb shit like that-”

“Wait, Y/n I didn’t-”

“No!” My finger sprung into his face to stop him from talking. “You just don’t understand, and I’m tired of you guessing the wrong thing.”

Loki scoffed and threw his arms out. “Then what am I supposed to do? You won’t tell me what’s wrong! You must know you’re being difficult.”

I almost exploded again, but I instead unclenched my fists and rubbed my hands over my face. “You’re right,” I said, my voice muffled by my fingers. I let out a loud sigh and sat back down on the bench. “I’m sorry.”

Loki shook his head, confused by my outbursts and seemingly random mood swings then sat beside me. “Please tell me.”

“Okay.” I sighed yet again. Maybe if I sighed enough I would get dizzy and pass out. “It is about Isabel.”

“You don’t like her. I knew it,” Loki said firmly, making a fist.

“No!” I groaned with exasperation.

“What else could it be? You obviously-”

“It’s not that I don’t like your girlfriend, it’s that I don’t want you to have one!” I shouted, throwing my arms out dramatically. I just ripped it off. Ripped it off like a band-aid.

Loki’s eyes narrowed and I felt like he was looking through me. I felt judged, vulnerable, stupid. Stupid for feeling these things which wasn’t how it was supposed to work, but that’s just how messed I am.

“What do you mean?” he asked. I knew the look on his face. I knew exactly what he was doing. He had a suspicion and he was going to keep asking questions until he knew for sure in the most painful way possible.

I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t be able to see how much of an idiot I was going to look like. “I mean, I don’t want you to have a girlfriend unless it’s me.”

As soon as it came out of my mouth, I felt gross and terrible. It was because of how vulnerable I was making myself. I abruptly stood up and walked to the complete other side of the room, craving distance between us.

“Why are you- are you going somewhere?” Loki called, standing up. He started to walk toward me.

“No, no. Just talk from over there. I need distance.”

The sound of Loki’s snicker traveled through the air. “You’re so strange.”

I crossed my arms and shrugged.

“I didn’t know,” he said after I didn’t respond.

“I didn’t want you to know.”

“Why?”

I hesitated. I knew why, but how to phrase it? Because I was a coward? Because I was too emotionally insecure? Because I wanted him to just miraculously figure it out on his own?

“I… I was just scared. I think. I wasn’t sure how you’d respond and you know I’m not good at communicating emotions and stuff,” I finally said.

“That is true.”

I gave in to a small smile. A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

“Did you know that Isabel doesn’t like Reese’s?” Loki asked. I looked at him from across the room to the best of my ability and shook my head a little. “I don’t think I can be with someone who doesn’t like Reese’s. I may have to break up with her.”

I furrowed my brows even more, wondering if I was understanding him right.

“On an unrelated note,” he continued, now pacing the perimeter of the room. “Are you free tomorrow?”

��I, um, yeah of course… I don’t-”

“I can’t quite hear you,” he interrupted, and midway through the sentence, the figure across the room faded away in a green mist. My breath caught in my throat and I frantically turned around, trying to find his true form. I held back a frightened squeal when I turned right into his chest, then I took a step back. “Well? Are you free?” He repeated, looking down on me.

I looked into his dark eyes, glanced at his playful smile, and took a peek at his slightly disheveled hair that he obviously didn’t know about or else he would have fixed it by now.

I loved him so much.

“I’m always free for you, you know that,” I told him casually.

“Your tone and your gaze do not match,” he replied. He was on to me. “Why do I feel there’s more you’re not telling me?”

A brief surge of courage took over and in one swift motion I closed the small gap between us and connected my lips to his. It was passionate and fast, my sensations overwhelmed before I pulled away once my brain caught up to my heart. Loki’s had had made its way to my neck and he held me close as we looked into each other’s eyes, taking in every fleck of color, every slight movement. I took in a short breath so I would be able to get the words I wanted to say out.

“Because…” I breathed, “there is.”

TAGGED:

@sarahivi @ilvermornyqueen @gladerb5 @tbetz0341 @1800-fight-me @nowitsyourturntocry @lokilover2000 @emergenciesstory @savemealoevera @frostymoon11 @stayfrosty-royalsunshine @scarred-neptinite @phonegalhelp @cruisingheightswithdragons @lusty-loki @ourdeliciousfoxcollector

#loki #loki x reader #loki imagine #loki fanfiction #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction

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