#also like i don’t trust corporations
not to be a gavin apologist BUT
Connor: Hello, I am an infiltration unit. My job is to mimic human emotions in order to make people like and trust me. I am specifically stating I was built to manipulate others.
Connor: Additionally, I was built by the future equivalent of SUPER-MEGA-AMAZON, whose products are now being used throughout society in media, journalism, medicine, the financial sector, etc etc and SUPER-MEGA-AMAZON has now just invented me to be the first of their own line of personal cops! :D
Connor: Also-also, I can and WILL be reporting literally everything I see and all that you tell me back to SUPER-MEGA-AMAZON corporation. This is not a severe breach of privacy or constitutional rights--again, I am An Cop(tm) for the largest, richest company in the world--because *has big pretty eyes*
Hank: I hate you and I wish I could slam-dunk everyone like you into a dumpster and set it on fire
Gavin: I also hate you and do not trust you. I don’t believe you really have feelings because you specifically just said that you don’t, you’re an infiltration unit, and any “feelings” you display are literally just to manipulate us >:(
Connor: *can preconstruct possible actions and is apparently a super incredible badass combat unit capable of storming Cyberlife Tower*
Connor: *expects us to believe he really didn’t know Gavin was gonna hit him after deliberately provoking him, could not poooosibly preconstruct that outcome, couldn’t just fucking dodge?? we literally have a scene of him laying out Gavin on his ASS and we’re supposed to believe Gavin legit landed a hit on him?*
everyone: HEY WHAT THE FUCK HOW DARE YOU HURT THIS SWEET PRECIOUS CORPORATE NARC WHEN ALL HE WAS TRYING TO DO IS SET PRECEDENTS FOR COMPANIES TRYING TO OWN AND CONTROL THEIR OWN POLICE FORCE HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY GO WRONG I TRUST AND BELIEVE IN SUPER-MEGA-AMAZON!!!
Connor, an infiltration unit specifically designed to preconstruct outcomes and manipulate people: (: (: (:
**Gavin is narratively portrayed as a racist asshole; Hank is fine tho**
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Just to clear up some “thoughts” I’ve seen in the tags...
1. The cast of CR includes members that are queer, have confessed to struggling with mental illness, and have experienced sexual harassment. You aren’t being attacked by an outside force coming from a place of absolute privilege. Outside of the fact that some of these jokes are not actually jokes at all, you don’t have the right to police how people deal with experiences they have had or are familiar with.
2. I really don’t understand how people are like “they don’t take queer ships seriously?” What does that mean? They don’t ship what you ship? There’s no possibility of those pairings being canon? Also like... Beau’s affection for Jester isn’t taken seriously? Vax’s deep affection and trust in Gilmore, and Gilmore’s grief about Vax’s death isn’t taken seriously? Yasha’s deep loss and grief over her wife isn’t taken seriously? Seems pretty serious to me.
3. They’ve been streaming on Twitch since the beginning. The vast majority of entertainment we enjoy is associated with some shitty corporation. Why is this such a moral failing now?
4. What racist fanart and creators are they supporting? Half the time I hear cries about whitewashing, y’all be tripping, and I say this as a black person.
5. It is not CR’s job to police behavior within their own fandom beyond setting down the rules they already have for behavior in stream chats, and promoting ideals that oppose that behavior. There are shitty people in every fandom, can’t escape that or stop it.
6. They have too apologized in the past, don’t lie. I remember there was a merch debacle where a Vax mini was made exclusive, but when fans thought that was unfair, they rectified that and apologized. When the Wendy’s one shot caused controversy, they pulled it down and admitted that it didn’t match up with the content they wanted to produce. When Liam retweeted a Beau/Caleb kiss art, he admitted he hadn’t realized it was a kiss, deleted it, and said erasing Beau’s sexuality wasn’t okay. Just because they don’t bow and scrape to every single complaint doesn’t mean they can’t acknowledge mistakes.
7. And for people that are saying they’re not indie anymore, they have millions of dollars, that’s not how Kickstarter works. Those millions aren’t for their company; it goes EXCLUSIVELY toward the production of the cartoon, I don’t know how people still don’t know this after all the previous drama that’s already been kicked up about it.
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Alright this has been BUGGING ME basically since New Moon came out but: where and how the hell do the Volturi buy their stuff and with what money? How the hell are they paying what I assume is an electric and water bill (you can’t tell me these vampires don’t have electricity and the most luxurious bathtubs on God’s own earth)? They can’t be paying with the credit cards of their victims because having a charges racked up on what is supposed to be an international missing person’s card (1/2)
looks suspicious as all hell and would send up a ton of red flags. Do they have accounts in their own names and if they do why is the government not up their ass about where the money came from, how long they’ve had it and why aren’t they paying taxes? How has NOBODY noticed the amount of resources being used by what is supposedly a tourist attraction nobody lives in? Are they money laundering with the Italian Mafia? Does Renata sell crafts on Etsy? What is going on with their finances?(2/3)I have approximately 9000 boring, nitpicky world building questions about questionable vampire financial planning and literally nobody else cares. (3/3)
A point of order: I nearly snorted coffee out my nose imagining Renata and her crocheted iPhone cases being the Volturi’s only viable source of income.
The rest of this is going to run long, so I’m sticking the nitpicky world-building detail (a.k.a the best detail) under the cut.
When the coven-members were very young, they got their money the old-fashioned way: by taking it from corpses. They pilfered the occasional grave, wiped out a wealthy family when it suited them, and bought their clothing/luxuries/homes with a bag of coins (or, in one memorable instance, with a bunch of sheep). This was fine, for a time. Still, as society developed, they realized that greater wealth was attainable.
In short, like many morally-dubious Italian families after them, the Volturi got into banking. You needed a high-risk loan? The money was for something subversive that the state-affiliated bank would never sanction? You owed too much to your creditors already? Well, did the local vampires have a solution for you!
(It goes without saying that a debt to the Volturi was always repaid, one way or another. Also, I kinda suspect that Nefarious Finance was Caius and Athenodora’s couples’ activity? I mean, one needed an elaborate legal fiction to get around accusations of usury and also math skills to operate a successful medieval bank. Twisting the law into a sinister pretzel and adding numbers fast are, like, their respective super-powers.)
Anyway, the Volturi entered modernity with a lot of money. Some of it, they used to buy property under the names of various corporation and lease it. The rest is managed through shell companies, maintained in trust accounts under various false names, kept in regular ol’ savings, invested, and otherwise dispersed. This wealth is transmitted through inheritance and sale, sometimes intra-Volturi and sometimes to loyal humans. I don’t think they mind paying taxes, necessarily. It’s the thought of someone connecting the dots and saying, “Wow, this loose group of Italian businesspeople with no apparent business sure is rich,” that troubles them.
And speaking of extreme wealth, on paper most of the Volturi are rich, but not “Top 100 Wealthiest People” rich. They have something like ten million USD owned by their current identities, and they appear to be living off the interest. Their castle occupies a weird legal grey area: it’s a privately-owned national monument, and so long as they maintain it, the government asks few questions. (Plus, it could be argued that ridiculous amounts of electricity and water are necessary to preserve the place. Like, once pipes are installed, they’re either used or they rust and fall apart and there goes the 12th century stonework.)
Yeah! That’s my brief primer on Volturi finances! Mandatory disclaimer that I’m not knowledgeable about the business world, so who even knows how much of this makes sense?
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The Amis and things I’ve said to my friends
ye, but do you really think dick can do that? I mean, look at the number of world leaders and you’ll see how useless dick really is when speaking of changing the world…
Oh well, Grantaire, no, I mean grammar isn’t important, Grantaire is!
Capitalism is a fake bitch who helps only the rich, and everyone else are too brainwashed to see it
I am the mother-dude
I’d fuck Darwin
White is not only a skin colour, but a state of being
The stage turns him on. He’s gay that way
I just masturbated, so I have this extreme calm feeling spreading through my entire body, nothing makes sense, everything is gayer than it seems, and I am satisfied, in every sense of the word
Sun kissed skin. Beach waves. Bitch I’m gay
Shakespeare was a fuckboi and I would definitely fuck him
I love it! Make it gay as a passive aggressive fuck u to the fugly dudebros
I’m slutshaming Lord Byron
I think I’ll get a shot of water
I will always support the extraterrestrials
Yall I have a bad hip and my knee joint is aching why am I exactly 80 fucking yeas old??
I just blew a piece of candy out of my nose lol wtf
A mistake that has been repeated time and time again
Ouch! … That didn’t hurt
I don’t need a sugar daddy, I have 21 NOK (about 2,2 Euro)
Wanna go to my place and get a JesusJoint?
It’s a mutual friendship! It’s called communism!
*Sips Cola* I fucked Santa… to get this
Dick is illegal. Ass is not. So, dick in ass evens out. Dick in ass is neutral.
It’s the Chad on the inside that counts
My hobby is burying my head in a pillow as anal goblins hammer on the inside of my skull
Correct grammar is for those who still believe in the world
What if I just... fucking… slamdunked my head into my desk… and just… mcfucking died
He activates my Yikes! instinct
I just cry in general
Cause I’m a duck with minor social anxiety
10 cats are better than an unhappy marriage!!
Tho a dick would be easier than a vagina…. Easier orgasms and no period pains, could be counted as a win… (if you ignore the fact that you have a wiggly pee stick flopping between your thighs 20/7 (idk how often dicks are erect…))
I’m cheering for Mother Earth, I hope she kills us all
He had a certain vendetta against mushrooms and children ever since. You’re not getting context
I tried throwing a paper into the trash, but it fluttered to the floor instead, and I muttered “Top 10 anime betrayals”
I am wise you courageous bitch
If I ever think about getting out of bed before 11 for a man, I’m gonna need you to punch me
Never trust your guy, always trust your gut
Why do men think dicks make women horny? I will never feel anything except mild disgust at the sight of a dick
ALSO I’VE BEEN CRAVING FUCKING DONUTS FOR 2 FUCKING DAYS NOW AND I DROVE DOWN TO THE SHOP EARLIER AND THEY WERE OUT OF DONUTS AND I AM FURIOUS THAT WE DON’T HAVE LIKE DUNKIN DONUTS OR SOME CRAPPY CORPORATE DONUT SHOP THAT WORKS LIKE MCDONALD’S OR SOME BULLSHIT I NEED DONUTS. In conclusion: I am bitter
The head of a man must be light
“I don’t know why I haven’t blocked him yet”, the eternal question woman always have and always will ask themselves
Arrest doesn’t always mean jail time, but jail time always means a rest
I have breadcrumbs in my back pocket
Duuuuude, I am becoming an ultimate dad!! I give life advice hidden in dad jokes to avoid the emotional aspect because I’m an emotionally repressed idiot!!
This is a dad joke, but it’s still funny
I will ever only accept a real actual dick, never a painting, never a dick pic, just send me a severed dick in a box
They definitely are, I am never walking again! From now on, my only form of transportation is those chairs the rich would have the poor carry them around in, those that demanded wide double doors
He can be a charming bag of dicks when he needs it
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i sat down to write a cool character introduction but it came out as this
“Hello, I have a filled out little sticker voucher for a hot drink. I want you to make me a black coffee, please. But then, before you give it to me, what I want you to do is take the little sticker that comes with the black coffee, and then I want you to put it on this second voucher I have, which will fill it out, and then I want you to make me a second black coffee. Then, I want you to take the little sticker that comes with that one, put it on this third voucher I have, which will, as you have probably guessed, fill it out, and make me a third black coffee. Then- and this part is imperative, so please listen- I want you to take two of the supersize milkshake cups, put one inside the other to make what looks like a single very chunky supersize milkshake cup, and then pour all three of the black coffees into that. Don’t worry about giving me a straw, I have my own. It’s more environmentally friendly that way. Speaking of which, I’m going to need you to give me the three empty black coffee cups. I trust you to make my drink but I don’t trust this corporation to recycle the cups properly. Or do many things properly, for that matter. Also I don’t want to miss out on the little sticker from the third cup so I can fill out this fourth voucher I have and get another black coffee later. Thank you.”
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If Bernie wants to RAISE the minimum wage but also RAISE taxes, how is that going to work? It’s like demanding employers pay you more in one pocket and then the government takes its increased share, leaving you at BEST no better than when the min wage wasn’t increased.
How is he going to be able to make SURE that the taxes he levies will ONLY affect the SOOPER RICH and the TERRIBLE CORPORATIONS.
The tax policy precision is gonna have to be mindblowing if it has any chance of succeeding. Frankly I don’t trust him or his cohort to be so surgical. These people see tax policy as a blunt force weapon to punish political and ideological enemies. I just don’t see him or his supporters he’ll place in power being able to resist the temptation
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