#also need to start running again

[ethosiab]

bkau etho :3 (design by the amazing @applestruda)

#my art #drawing #ethoslab #hermitcraft #hermitcraft s8 #hermitcraft fanart #boatem knights au #ethoslab fanart #saw the new design and came RUNNING to draw this then tripped over and forgot to post it #i also have a wip of a scene from the fic but. it was looking bad so i'll revisit that later #goddamn i need to start colouring things again #nics art

[aquickstart]

ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.

another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!

farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.

but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.

but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.

but the important thing is this.

farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.

farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.

the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.

as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.

but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.

and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.

to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).

to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.

and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?

but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.

the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.

so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.

#saltburn #farleigh start #i think someone mentioned how the race commentary was fleeting in that scene abt his mom but i disagree #it runs thru the whole movie #because oliver is white and because they're pitted against each other #im not saying its the best commentary ever and also like the movie is not about it at all #but it's there and it's pretty prominent #also on a completely different note can we talk about how oliver correctly assumed everyone at saltburn desires him carnally #dude pulled all the bitches by being strange and off-putting. i mean i completely get it. completely get it. i'd fold so fast you've no ide #also while i was writing i realized that yes indeed both farleigh and oliver perform for felix and its so fascinating #and it works for oliver because of course it does because hes white #anyway! again! let me know if this sucks #in like any way at all #i needed a masterpost of all and every thought i have about farleigh #i think this pretty much covers it so i'll let it go now #HES SO. like do you UNDERSTAND #the DEFINITION of doomed by the narrative but i LOVE that he survives #as he SHOULD #emerald is so right. he does come back and quickstart just torture each other in that house forever. besties for life #god im gonna shut up now this is so horrendously long #mine #saltburn journaling

[yasmeensh]

Story update

I got to write a good chunk of the opening these past two days. Excited to get more work done over March break. And I can't wait to get to writing more about my daughter T-T But she comes in a bit later in the story. Still in the first act, though.

Some more character design doodles:

#personal project #paleolithic #neanderthal #prehistory #I've been SO BUSY #being a school teacher is so difficult.... #especially with 6-7 year olds. why did I end up with the worst age group #they are angels and devils SIMULTANIOUSLY. #I felt my soul leave my body this week. two of the grade 2 boys dropped f bombs. i was SO SHOCKED. this word could never leave my mouth eve #AND THESE BABIES ARE SAYING IT!!??? #but being a school teacher means you also get school breaks soooo MARCH BREAK LETS GO!!! #First thing I did: write more of the story and go ham with splatoon #the big run was so fun. I still couldn't break through to silver.... :'( #I don't know if I'll get much drawing done. I've been in a zelda 2 mood again. Maybe some zelda 2 art #I need to get back to finishing the remaster! I'm on maze island now. #but on the agenda for SURE is to get the opening of the story done and out of the way so I can start writing the REAL fun stuff #It's taking a while. #rambling again :P #oh and ramadan mubarak! tomorrow is the first day of fasting.

[ouroboros-hideout]

THROUGH THE GATES OF HELL

#started a new run on the expansion #mainly because I need a fem v to take some pics for oc stuff #but also want to cry again and life through the pain #I love this game #will occasionally take some scenery pics maybe #cyberpunk 2077 #phantom liberty #virtual photography #dogtown

[bobbinalong]

i wish i was a batman fan, he gets so many comics that every once in a while, something HAS to be good. alas lmao.

#like clark is among my top 5 so it's not like i'm totally starved for good current comics #i still need to catch up on world's finest actually (which. batman lol) #but bart and steph haven't caught a break in like twenty years lol #and jon is still in tom taylor's clutches #and babs is walking around #and also in tom taylor's clutches (tho not for long anymore) #at least cass is eating well rn i like the current bop run except for the babslessness of it all #which is rectified for this arc #tho she is still walking around #anyway i'm currently really losing my mind over dc's treatment of steph so like #ignore me lol #i'm so mad about her not being in the new damian book when she SHOULD be the robin he's closest to after dick. she's literally his batgirl #i'm also mad again about the way fitzmartin broke her and tim up and probably always will be but maybe i should start getting over that #it has been two years #anyway it's not even that i hate bruce he just doesn't scratch that itch

[twinkodium]

BOYFRIEND MATERIAL 🫠🫠

Bonus:

THAT FINE ASS 🍑

THE SLUTTY WAIST 🫨

AND THE BITEABLE NECK 😌

#f1 #oscar piastri #dutch gp 2023 #screaming from the top of my lungs 😭😭😭 #so damn handsome and adorable 😮‍💨😮‍💨 #pi🍑tri #oscass #hyperventilating just by looking at him 🫨 #imagine running into him in the paddock when you least expect it #I’d be on the floor melting into a puddle #HIS HAIR ON THURSDAY!!! #that’s everything it needs to be appreciated 😍😍 #ARMS ON THIRD… @jackie are you here? alive? cuz I’m not #calling the ambulance right now my heart beats so fast I might die 🙃 #okay I’m (ab)normal again… 😌 #Oscar yt era beloved!! #he has to continue filming behind the scenes 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 #also he was so quiet about this and dropped the bomb just before the next race weekend starts… #smug little bastard #THIGHS THIGHS THIGHS 🤤🤤 #forgot to include the neck pic 😨 #I wanna **** **** on that neck 🤤

[squishosaur]

a little bit of sunshine!

#last post before i am officially back in school and run on a queue forever again ajfnfnf #and it's rookvil... i think that's how i started my last school year also #it's supposed to rain all week... #good luck to me guys i need it i'm really bad at socializing ajdjdjdnd #twisted wonderland #twst fanart #twst #rook hunt #vil schoenheit #rookvil #vilrook #my art :> #digital art #doodles #comics

[meirimerens]

for viktor kain so loved his gay son he gave him a pixellisation beyond earth's knowledge so i could be squinting of all 4 of my eyes trying to make notes of the moles on his face to make a map for when i draw him again.

#man squinting at a very tiny piece of paper png #was gonna say ''i need to boot up my game again'' but if i do i'm afraid my laptop will just start convulsing like a retching dog. #and also i had to play on the lowest settings for it to run so i ain't seeing anything regardless

[ericas-spop-blog]

This is a scrap - and should be read as a criticism of the story telling moreso than of the (fictional) characters - but...

One of the results of Season 4 framing Adora as purely a victim of "crazy ex" Glimmer - Presenting it as if Glimmer was reacting to nothing, that Adora wasn't controlling or jealous or secretive - is that it deeply undercuts the idea that Adora treats Catra badly because She Just Doesn't Know Better.

If Adora treats Glimmer in the same (bad) ways she treated Catra, then it tells us she has flawed assumptions about what a "good" relationship looks like; that her behaviour (if not innocent) is at least sincere, and that she is continuing to apply bad models even in a situation where it does not benefit her(or anyone but Shadow Weaver). Having these models fail her would drive the character towards self-examination and personal growth.

But if Glimmer was the core problem in Season 4 - if Adora was nothing but supportive, even when the circumstances of her youth are recreated nearly 1-to-1 - then we're saying that Adora is already perfect, that actually she does know how to have normal, healthy relationships even under trying circumstances.

Which makes her refusal to extend that care to Catra incredibly suspect. Does she think that Catra is uniquely unworthy of respect?

Or does she just know that other people think Catra is unworthy of respect, and aren't going to say shit (especially when they still need She-Ra to save them)?

========================

Look, obviously none of this is the intended read; And fwiw, I think that at least the script of Season 4 actually does show Adora replicating her bad behaviours -

being high-handed, controlling, jealous of Glimmer's relationship with Shadow Weaver, and unhealthily invested in her role as The Hero -

and then has those flaws drive personal growth - reflecting on if she is making things worse, recognizing that her idea of being A Hero is to be a weapon in someone else's hands and explicitly rejecting that -

but that this is undermined by the directorial lens overwhelmingly framing Glimmer as The Villain (and thus Adora as In The Right/The Victim/Smol Bean), and that this conflict drives these really ugly implications.

In absolving Adora, the story inadvertently validates her beliefs - even the ones that it set up as false and harmful. Which, yeah, creates the implication that Adora knows when she's acting badly, but just doesn't care (and that we shouldn't either). That her status as "Good" protects her from criticism, and allows her to cast any opposition as defacto "Bad" and not worthy of acknowledgment or examination.

#spop #scraps #s4 cinemanarrative dissonance #meta #i guess? #again this is about the storytelling #the ways that the show undercuts its own themes #because it wanted to criticize and deconstruct heroic narratives #but also uncritically use them in traditional ways #so you get these problems #where Adora needs character growth #but is constantly denied it #because the narrative lens can't confront #that her shit just stinks #without trying to soften or excuse it #oh and don't get me started on how *incoherent* the villainization of Glimmer was #'stop running off alone by which i mean join planned missions with other people' #like this is just straight up “Adora acuses Glimmer of her own canonical flaws” #without even bothering to show Glimmer actually doing these things

[moeblob]

I'm sorry Irving, but yeah. I forgot about Dark Deity for way too long. :c Please forgive me as I put the game off even more...

#dark deity #irving #tbh i forgot i had it on switch until i was looking at stuff on desktop to delete #and saw dd was there and was like OH MY GOSH I FORGOT MY COMP HATED RUNNING THAT #and then i checked my switch and its still downloaded so like #cheers to this game i need to play it again at some point the cast is so cute ??? #i miss my kids in this game omg theyre all my babies #i drew this after i started art for p3p and after i cried for hours over engage today so like #idk man im just trying to cope with mass amounts of pain and also lots of anxiety meds #and this is the best i can manage today #have a good night

[mylonelydreaming]

I want botw/totk zelink to have kids, because it would be cute and Link would be an amazing father and malewife

#zelink #totk zelink #you'll have to take post-totk cute family zelink from my cold dead hands #I built the dream home with four-seat dining table for a reason ok #Honestly contrary to what people say I think it would actually help Zelda grow and heal from her past #You can't get over something if you just run away from it #I also want them to have a family again after losing everyone #maybe I'm just projecting because I grew up in a home without love #so I know what it's like to have no family basically #people take a loving family for granted or think it's boring ig but for me it's a dream to have a positive healthy family full of joy #Friends are wonderful but they have their own lives and obligations. It's not quite the same #I also think not EVERYTHING needs to be the found family trope #that's starting to feel very over-pushed to me #I also dislike how the arguments against Zelda having a kid ever feel very radfem

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

#toronto maple leafs #HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET #like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because #my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul #you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that #i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of #Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i #have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m #gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the #coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl #anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren' #bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof #& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th #childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so. #ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get #to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse #but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu #the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea #& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much & #if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy #boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is #solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet #OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc #u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty #leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin #one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight #seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem #the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall #from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding #i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc

[raventrigonsdaughter]

Back to Rosario talking about how Ezra and Ahsoka will have a deeper conection and relationship that will be important to the show, we can all agree that this is most likely a Daughter and Son of Mortis thing right? Everyone can agree on that right? Or at very least they will be parallels to Baylan and Shin

#the leaks say there will be a scene where Ahsoka is running side by side with a male character on top of loth wolves #im starting to think Ahsoka and Ezra will either be the new ones of mortis #or a straught up dyad #NOT IN A ROMANTIC WAY TAKE YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER #but addimit its so on brand for filoni to make his favorite children spiritual twins that are embodiments of the force #ahsoka tano #ezra bridger #it also makes sense when you think about it #ezra and ahsoka are deeply conected to the world between worlds now as well as the mortis gods #and if Ezra is loki and Ahsoka is Odin... yeah #siblings #star wars rebels #star wars clone wars #swa #AHSOKA #possible ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka and ezra are basically galen marek divided into 2 characters at this point again that would be a very filoni thing to do #and maybe this time the daughter and the son can be in balance with each other instead of needing the father to balance them out of a fight

[snail-noodle]

A trip down memory lane! Writing a short drabble for Elder Faerie :]

I've been thinking about the kind of person Elder Faerie could have been before the Beasts had turned evil.

In episode 2, Shadow Milk kept calling him a foolish king and how he envied the five great heroes before they were sealed away.

You can probably tell where I'm going with this haha X]

Elder Faerie was young back then. He was rashful and stubborn.

His insecurities were high during those years.

What if, during that time, he did feel envy towards the five great heroes?

I like to think he had no powers at all during that time. He could wield a sword, and he would have a long life, like any other faerie, but the power of the guardian did not exist at that time.

Not yet.

He had no silver tree to guard, so it would be interesting if he had no magic powers to begin with.

#grrrr #the thought of him acting like the complete opposite of his older self is making my mind spin #i love it when a character ends up maturing whenever a great danger appears in front of them #elder faerie had to wisen up once the beasts started their terror across earthbread #i really just want young and stubborn elder faerie okay?! #devsisters probably won't touch him again and i need to cope 😭 this is the only way #also want shadow milk and elder faerie tension before sm turned evil #imagine the guy having beef with the young faerie king??? it would be funny #the displeasure that shadow milk shows towards the young king is hilarious to me X) #cookie run kingdom #cookie run #shadow milk cookie #elder faerie cookie #elder faerie

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#remember when i could draw? when i had time to draw and color? #bleh. im just sorta exhausted and dont feel good and starting to get overwhelmed by all that i need to get done #weirdest version of being sick ive had. i dont have a fever but i feel hot and my throat hurts and i have to take deep breaths but not #really coughing so im like??? am i sick??? #ugh. i dunno ive been going to sleep at like 9pm and its only 7 and im so tired but i have a paper to read #maybe ill read it in the morning and not do pigment analysis tomorrow... but i wanna see those god damn pigment >:-( #i dunno. im also just kinda frustrated bc im running into things that my mum was in control of the info on #so its like: well i cant access my fasfa account. i dont kno where my vaccine info is. i dont kno if my mum had uterine fibroids before it #all turned to cancer. i dunno. im just tired #also i bitched out on a pap smear bc it hurt too bad. so ive had a day. #but ive got a birth control perception again. i dont wanna take it but like i cant really aford to go out of focus and go out of commission #via pain. so like i guess i gotta. ugh. it better not fuck with my medication #hopefully ill wake up tomorrow and all will be well in the world #unrelated

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

never have i seen a blood drive not want blood so badly

#the nursing students running it are just standing outside leaning against the truck looking like theyre just waiting for something #no sign ups or anything #i was like hey. can i give some fucking blood or what #and they pointed at the truck like yeah go to that website you can schedule a walk in #had to make a whole account. also the website is horrible. and then it says i can only schedule an hour before the appt #they were like well just sign up for later and go in now. well you end your stupid blood drive at 4 you should know that so i CANT. #and then they all just went like okay. and started going on their phones again #LIKE? #youre not gonna go in? ask them? say hey can someone give some fucking blood #or HELP ME??? say hey you actually need to do THIS on the website?? #and i asked if they send out emails for blood drives and they were like noooo we post it on social media 🥰 #you bitches are so stupid. WHO is following you to be liie OOOO BETTER CHECK FOR A BLOOD DRIVE!!!!