#also none of this is meant in any kind of way and was based on just.

[hxltic]

bein yelled at by ghost. you’ve been in the army this long, been yelled at by sergeants and others alike, majority men—obviously—but none of them like this. The others you didn’t even flinch as they screamed directly into your ears, probably even worse than other men just to intimidate you as a woman.

You caught him in a bad mood and it seemed completely unrelated to work, but as his partner and soldier, he had to tell you things that you didn’t want to hear.

“Hey, I got your message Simon, didn’t mean for that to happen. Won’t let it happen again.” You place some things of yours down on the dresser as you enter his quarters. He’s standing there in thought, unreadable.

His mask is still on with his gear connected to his body.

“Damn right, you won’t.” He gruffs, heavy in his accent.

All you could do was question what this meant. Would he not let you do it again? Were you being thrown in a different squad?

“What does that mean?” You stop your moving for a direct answer. You almost took that personally.

He explains, “You made an impulsive decision that would have led to half our unit being taken out. The amount we sent to that building was more than usual.”

“I understand, and that was on me. In my defense though: it was a suggestion in the moment, one that the other members also formally agreed to. It wasn’t just me.” You giggle, even though you’re aware these aren’t giggling matters. You just needed to lighten the mood.

“There were 35 men in that building alone. Led by Gaz and König!”

He fully pronounced the words, turning to you aggressively. Had you known this was the severity of his mood, you never would’ve taunted him in any type of way. This was when he had to be your boss.

“I understand but-“

“It doesn’t matter who agreed! You are seen as a leader standing next to me and you introduced the idea. I cannot be there to stop you every time you do something stupid.” His eyes were laced with anger, an anger that arose out of the protection built for his squad over the years.

“Every time?”

He said that like you did something stupid every day. He’s had bad missions before too, and we should all just be happy everyone made it back safe. Well, maybe one or two. He quickly turns to you, but stays in his spot.

“Every bloody time. It’s the mission before that. Then that. You cannot keep jeopardizing this team.”

Despite the offense you took to his words, you understood him.

“I understand.” You speak. For the night, you split off into your own quarters, not wanting to anger him any more than you already have. You’ll just have to be better with your decisions. There’s more than just your life on the line now.

The next few days, you’ve been kind of stand off-ish, hoping he’d come to you when he was feeling so. Instead, you were all assigned a mission, one they’d put you in charge of. Naturally, you’d felt it best to prove yourself and win his attention back. He was still Simon, and you still loved him.

. .

You all returned back to base with a more than successful mission under your belt. This made you extremely happy, as it’s finally a good time to speak to him.

You approach his door, then knock. You never knock.

A deep, “Come in,” is all you get.

You walk in to him sitting at his desk, his back to the door.

“Hey,” is all you can muster. You’d had the balls to walk in, but Simon is still a scary man. Your hands come down from his shoulders to massage over his biceps.

“I’m sorry for the past few days. I hope I redeemed myself?” You try.

“Hm,” He grunts, standing from his desk and filing papers into the drawers. This made you a little wary.

“Are you feeling okay Simon?” You fiddle your fingers together as you watch him walk around to the other side of the table.

“Fuckin’ fabulous.”

Your hands drop. You’d expected something, or some type of praise. Instead, you got this.

“What’s wrong? I thought I did good this time?”

“Is there something you want?” He shoots back. You glance at him, then around the room, then the floor. “No? Alright then.” He continues on as if you aren’t there. You stand in disbelief.

“What has got you so upset Simon? You can talk to me.”

“Did ya come in my room with nothin to say? What are you here for?” he snaps back.

This was a knife in the heart. You’d been terrified of the business portion of your relationship engulfing the rest, but you didn’t want to believe it. Maybe that wasn’t the case. Maybe it wasn’t you.

“Literally what is your problem?” You wanted to yell, but you couldn’t. It wasn’t in your nature. It didn’t feel right yelling at him.

You attempt to walk to his front, hoping that seeing your face would bring him some sense of calmness or bring him back down to Earth, but that was long gone. He’d lost all professionalism or softness.

Or maybe that was just it, and there was too much professionalism.

You reach him and plead, “Simon please, let me help y-“

“Fuckin’ hell, I don’t need your goddamn help!”

His head whips around, and that was all it took for you to realize the severity of everything going on. You’d physically retracted back and flinched. It’d been a long time since you’d done that.

“What do you want?” He throws the pen he’d held to the wall, and if you could see, you’d say there was a visible dent. That was your second step back, and you only took more as he came forward powerfully, his frame enlarging with each step.

“I-“

“Do you want me to praise you for your fuckin’ job? Now that you’ve decided to take it seriously?” He growls.

This was completely untrue, it wasn’t easy getting into 141, and it didn’t take anything but seriousness. Despite this, it didn’t take away from how his voice seemed to reverberate through your bones. You were retreating from him the best you could, but you didn’t want to look away, afraid it’d make him angrier.

Your hands felt around behind you as you got closer and closer to the wall, but not before detecting a small table that almost had you stumbling backwards when you knocked it over. Along with some more pens, a vase fell, shattering about and leaving tiny shards for your feet to step on the one day you decided not to wear the house slippers Gaz always made fun of you for.

He could literally take your breath away, but the piercing sensation under you couldn’t compare to the expression he wore that was dripping with malice. You felt like prey under a predator, caged to the wall with nowhere to go.

Your back hit with a thump, your hands flying back to the wall but close to your figure. You’d wanted to put them between you two, hoping it’d prevent him from coming closer, but it wouldn’t work. So now you search for separation by forcing your cheek against the wall, eyes frantically darting back and forth between nothing in particular and the raging man towering over you. You don’t think you could look at him anymore.

You whisper, “S-Simon. Please-”

He was so close his breath was to your ear as he leaned over. You were scared. In fact, you’d spoke it so lightly, you don’t even remember if you did or if it was just a thought.

“This,” he was referring to today, “is absolute bare minimum. Your job is to take orders, then get it done with the least. Casualties. Possible. Do you understand me?” He enunciates every part of the sentence, every word, so deep and low but strong that you had no choice but for it to be engraved in your brain. He was infuriated.

You didn’t want to breath too hard, afraid it’d also upset him, so your shortness of breath had you quickly nodding. The last words had you trembling.

“Do you fuckin’ understand me?” His words seem to shake the room, booming loud and clear enough to make you flinch again and your eyes squeeze shut. It was even worse than before—you were terrified.

He made you feel like a little girl again, answering to her father that she could never seem to impress no matter what she did. That’s why she joined the army. So she could be in charge.

But it didn’t stop because your eyes had to blink open to reality, and the time bomb called a response was ticking, just like his already gone patience. It also didn’t stop things from getting blurry, and before you knew or could stop it, there was a tear gathering that eventually released to your cheek.

“Y-yes sir,” you whimper on unsteady breath, Closing your eyes in prayer he would retreat. He was there for a little longer, but once you felt his presence leave back into the heart of his room, you still didn’t move an inch. You eventually shuffled uncomfortably to the door, not even feeling okay enough to close it behind you. You dashed as fast as one could go with millions of tiny glass in their feet, and before tending to it, you shut your door and fell to your butt with your back pressed against it and cried.

It’d been so long since you’ve cried over this specific issue; you thought you’d left it behind you. You technically had, but it was reawakened. The mission fatigued you, and you were so exhausted, but the only reason you didn’t lay your head down in the bed and fall asleep was the glass that would distribute painfully throughout your sheets.

You wrapped your feet and slipped into the night with the occasional sob.

. .

Sometime in the night, your locked room was intruded, assumingely by the one man graced with a key. Large hands scooped you up effortlessly, before bringing your head to one shoulder. You felt warm lips seep into your forehead.

He whispered things to you, things you couldn’t hear, but your head was held protectively with his strong hand over your ear. You’d been rested in another bed, one that smelled like him. He removed the tape from your feet and actually cleaned your wounds before tucking you in and sliding in beside you.

He felt like he didn’t deserve it, the guilt enough to bring him to tears, but he also felt like he didn’t deserve to cry. So instead, he tucks your head into his body closer, praying the sleeping version of you would recognize this as an apology until the morning.

©️ hxltic pt.2!

#cod mwf2 #cod mwii #cod x reader #cod mw2 #ghost cod #cod modern warfare #ghost x reader #ghost #simon ghost riley #ghost mw2 #ghost simon riley #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley #simon riley x you #cod angst #cod mw ghost #ghost angst #cod ghost #cod ghost angst #call of duty mw2 #call of duty mwii #call of duty #call of duty ghost #ghost call of duty #mwii #mw2 #ghost mwii

[xxxdreamscapexxx]

Be mine

Alpha! Natasha Romanoff x Omega!FemReader

Word count: 5.1k

Summary: Natasha may have lost some hoodies, but she gained a mate and in her eyes, that's a trade she'd be willing to make any day. Based on the above prompt, but with some twists ;)

Warning: NSFW, 18+, A/B/O universe, mutual pining, lesbian? relationship, heavy petting (clothed sex), oral sex (R receiving), penetrative sex, a tiny bit of breeding kink, mating, claiming, knotting. You'll have to forgive me if this isn't your typical A/B/O fic, but I haven't read many of those and I don't know much about the universe itself, so this may not be super accurate, but I did my best. I hope you guys will enjoy it none the less.

As soon as she entered the room, you could smell her. It was always the way with Alphas, their strong, musky scent was unmistakable, but with hers came a sense of relief. Natasha made you feel safe, made you feel protected, without being overbearing. You could always feel when she was looking at you and you knew she kept track in her head. She knew if and when you ate, knew if you drank water, and when she didn’t deem it enough, she would silently bring you some. She never forced you to drink it, never even said a word, she would just leave it in front of you and walk away. She also knew damn well that you drank it. She also knew that sometimes you were stubborn, but most times you were just anxious and she stayed with you during long nights, watching a movie, knowing that her presence calmed you, and when you finally fell asleep, she carried you back to your room and put you in your bed, so you’d rest, the way you should. Yes, Nat was a kind and caring Alpha and the way her smell filled your nostrils made you drop your shoulders, before you greeted her. “Good morning, Nat.” You smiled, turning around, holding a plate with your breakfast, only to see the woman in nothing but sweatpants and a sports bra. Not even shoes! Her bare feet slapped on the floor as she stepped confidently into the room and you immediately looked away, feeling shy. “Morning.” She grumbled distractedly, her eyes scanning the room for something. “Do you want some breakfast?” You offered, still avoiding her gaze and the absolute mouth-watering sight that was her torso. God, you loved those strong arms, with their well-defined muscles. Not to mention those abs. You wanted to straddle her and rub your pussy over those gorgeous abs and when you’re done, you’d lick them clean! But you tried to push that thought away, not wanting to spend the rest of your day with wet panties and smelling of desperation. “No…” Natasha answered absent-mindedly, barely even looking at you, when her head suddenly snapped at you. “Hey, you haven’t seen any of my hoodies, have you?” She asked with a curious expression.

Ah, yes, her hoodies. You knew damn well where they were. And, truthfully, you intended to give them back. When you first took one or two, you meant to give them back to her. But then things got out of hand. You would usually go on missions with her, you worked well together, and an unclaimed Omega, who knew how to handle herself, not to mention, who could resist an Alpha’s influence, the way you did, was a very useful thing to a spy. But then they told you, that you needed to go on a mission with a new Alpha. The Scarlet Witch, or Wanda to you, now that you knew her a little better, was not yet experienced enough and having a seasoned, well trained and collected Omega with her certainly helped your mission greatly. But it made your anxiety sky-rocket. So just before your mission, you took one of Nat’s hoodies. She had left it on the couch in the common room and it smelled like her so much, that you didn’t even think twice. You packed it in a separate, sealed bag and took it with you, placing it on your pillow each night, thinking that you’ll wash it and give it back to her upon your return. But things didn’t exactly go that way. Apparently, your mission with Wanda went better than expected and you were asked to train more with the other Alphas, to go to more missions and each time you thought of having to leave the compound, your anxiety and distress would spike. And that’s how you found yourself with most, if not all of Natasha’s hoodies in your nest. You’d take a new one each time you had to leave for a mission, promising yourself to give them back and then you’d get so attached, that you just couldn’t. “Your hoodies?” Presently, you pretended not to know what she talked about. “No, I… I have no idea.” You lied shamelessly and you walked away, completely forgetting your own breakfast, which is why you were there in the first place. Natasha only shrugged, scratching the back of her neck as her eyes continued to search the room, even though she knew that her hoodies weren’t here. Now if only she could figure out what happened to them… During the next few days, you could see Natasha asking various people about her lost hoodies and her eyes scanning training rooms and lounge arias and your anxiety had reached a new level. It wasn’t just that you knew that she’ll eventually find out about what you did, or having to make a fool of yourself by explaining that you wanted her desperately… You also didn’t want to give them up. You felt so attached to them now. So as a means to placate the woman and maybe get her off your trail, you went ahead and bought her new ones.

It wasn’t hard to guess what she’d like, considering that you had so many of hers and you made your way back with a happy smile on your face. Yes, you were sure this would work. The stunned expression on Natasha’s face, when you handed her the shopping bag and explained the content, was absolutely priceless. You watched with joy as she rummaged through the bag and took them out one by one, inspecting them and smiling. “These are great! They’re better than my old ones! Thank you!” She exclaimed, giving you a brief hug, before she returned to her new hoodies. “You’re very welcome, Nat.” You smiled, before trying to walk away, only to be stopped in your tracks by Wanda. “Hey, Y/N, that was a very nice thing you did. Why don’t you sit down, detka, I’ll make you something to eat. I bet you skipped lunch, since you were out shopping.” The disapproving look Natasha gave the witch did not go unnoticed by the Sokovian, but she only smiled, making her way to the fridge and picking out products for a quick meal. She suspected that you liked the spy, and she had a feeling that the infamous Black Widow had similar feelings and she also suspected that neither of you had the courage to say so. Natasha was a strong Alpha, in the field, she was mesmerising to watch, but in her personal life, she never believed to be worthy of a good, little Omega to make her own. And you? God, you had it bad for her, but an Omega needed to be claimed, so of course, you wouldn’t say a thing. But Wanda had the perfect plan to nudge you both in the right direction. Let’s see how much can Natasha sit back and watch her favourite Omega being flirted with. “What do you say I make you some pasta, hm?” Wanda turned to you with a gentle smile. “With that special sauce you like so much?” She suggested. “You don’t have to do that, Wanda… I can…” You were about to say that you can make your own meal, but you were quickly interrupted. “But I want to, pretty girl. You’re always so nice and sweet and you take care of us so much. Let someone take care of you for a change.” She said with a grin, loving the way Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “Come, sit down and pick a nice movie for us to watch, while I make you something to eat.” She continued, practically guiding you to the couch and seating you, handing you the remote, so you’d pick a movie, while she cooked, all while Natasha glared.

She couldn’t explain why she felt so irritated, you weren’t hers. But you had went out shopping for her, you had bought hoodies for her, it was meant to be her that now complimented you and pampered you, not Wanda. It almost felt like the witch took her moment and it pissed her off. Grumbling, unable to watch this much longer, Natasha took the shopping bags with her, carefully unpacking everything and putting a few hoodies into the washing machine, so they’d be clean for tomorrow. She had already picked which one she’ll wear, appreciating a shorter, white hoodie with an image of a black spider above her left breast. It was gorgeous. You had wonderful taste in clothes. But with the memory of the nice gesture you made, she also remembered that you were currently spending your time with Wanda, the young Alpha complimenting you repeatedly and the image of that brought a fresh wave of irritation. It didn’t sit right with her, the way she flirted with you. So, with a brisk step, Natasha came back to the common room, only to find Wanda seated right next to you, her arm extended around your shoulders and pulling you close, while she was telling you how beautiful you looked. “I thought you guys were watching a movie.” Natasha snarled from the doorway, her hands balled into fists. “We will. We’re just waiting for the food to get ready.” Wanda informed with a sly smile, pulling you even closer to her, almost into her lap it seemed. “There’s plenty of room to talk on the couch.” Natasha pointed out, her eyes fixed on Wanda’s proximity and especially her arm around you. “I thought I’d get to know Y/N a little better. After all, she’ll be coming on another mission with me the day after tomorrow.” She announced, causing both you and Natasha to stare at her. You didn’t know anything about a new mission, especially so soon after your last one. “No one told me that.” You said, a little stunned. “They debriefed me this morning while you were out. Steve has all the files for you when you’re ready.” Wanda explained calmly. “It’s nothing special. Just 10 days in Brazil. We’ll be going after a cartel that recently seems to have gotten enhanced weapons and technology. Their leader is famous for having an eye for unclaimed Omegas. He’ll be arriving a few days earlier, so we’ll follow his movements and find out who the seller is.” “Sounds easy enough.” You nodded, trying not to show your distress.

You always got a little antsy when you had to flirt your way into an Alpha’s operation like that. They were suspicious, territorial and often vicious. Some killed Omegas, when they thought they were being spied on. Some did even worse things. You always feared what your fate would be, should your team fail you one day. Not that something like this had ever happened. Despite putting on a brave face, Wanda could sense the way you tensed up, the tightening of your muscles in her hold. You were scared, she could tell and a part of her felt terrible for bringing up so many unpleasant feelings. “Don’t worry, malush, I’ll protect you. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” She assured, her words honest. “I know, Wanda, thank you.” You nodded, relaxing a little in her hold and allowing her gentle fingers to run through your hair. “You better make good on that promise, Maximoff.” Natasha growled from her spot, watching the scene unfold with mind clouded by a deep sense of irritation. She was jealous. Undeniably so and she couldn’t stand to see you being soothed by another. It was meant to be her, who protected you, made you feel safe, made you feel cherished and loved. You were meant to be hers. If only she had actually made a move. But how could she? Why would someone like you ever want her? With the bitter taste of regret still on her tongue, Natasha turned on her heals and left the room, not even letting Wanda respond to her words. She’ll give the younger Alpha a stern talk about you later… If she was going to stand by and watch someone else court you, she was going to make sure that they knew the consequences, should they ever hurt you or your feelings. Feeling angry, Natasha entered her room and fell on the bed with a thud. Her head turned to the shopping bag, still full of clothes that you had went out to get just for her and her heart warmed at the sight. She really should thank you. Getting up, she ran to the nearest store, buying a box of your favorite chocolates and a beautiful card, writing a few words of gratitude inside, before she returned to the compound.

Natasha looked at her hands for a moment, thinking if she should interrupt your movie with Wanda, but decided against it in the end, so she went to your room, deciding to just leave the small package for you to find. She didn’t think much of the action, having been in your room many times before, so she just walked right in. She loved being here, surrounded by you and she closed her eyes briefly, savouring it, but her steps faltered almost immediately, when her eyes opened and landed on your bed and the pile of her hoodies on it. She could smell your sweet scent in the room, all around her, but especially the bed and as she got closer, she could distinctly smell the way you’d practically rolled around in her things. She could barely sense her own scent on them now. Some of these she’d missed for months. “So that’s where they went.” She heard herself saying. As soon as the recognition came, so did something else. A question. Why had you taken them?  Why did you want her scent on you? Could you… No! That simply couldn’t be… You wouldn’t be in love with her? Perhaps you simply got attached? Omegas were such sensitive souls sometimes. And the two of you had spent so much time together. But deep down she knew she was just denying the obvious. Just like she was denying her own feelings. Unsure of what to do and how to approach such a subject, she stood frozen in place, her thoughts racing wildly. She was lost in her own world of worry and regret, desire and longing, that she didn’t even hear the approaching footsteps, until you were in the room, gasping at the sight of her. “Natasha!” You exclaimed, your eyes filling with fear and panic, as you realized she’d seen your stash of stolen hoodies. “I can explain!” You started to say, but were interrupted, when she dropped the box in her hands and closed the distance between you in a few short strides, capturing your face in her hands and making you face her. “Tell me it’s true.” She said, pleading, too impatient to even explain what she wanted to hear, her eyes soft and full of so much hope. “Please?” She almost whined. “It’s true.” You nodded, some of the initial shock dissipating. “It’s always been true. How can you not know that?” You smiled, looking up at her with hopeful eyes. That soft smile and that sparkle in your eyes as you looked at her was all the confirmation Natasha ever needed and she leaned down eagerly, claiming your lips in a gentle kiss, pouring all her passion and love into it, hoping that she could convey just how much she had been dreaming of this moment with you. God, your lips against her felt divine. She could hardly contain the throaty little growl that left her as she deepened the kiss, her arms wrapping around you in an almost possessive manner, while she pressed herself firmly against you, letting you feel the bulge in her pants, that only seemed to grow and harden the longer she touched you.

“I love you.” She whispered, lifting you off the ground and crashing your bodies against the nearest wall. It seemed to take her no effort at all to hold you up with one hand, the other cupping one of your breasts, while she pressed and rubbed her clothed sex against you. “Fuck, you feel so good!” She gasped, her hips slamming into yours, her bulge teasing your pussy and making you grow even wetter and more desperate for her. “So good, baby.” She whispered, detaching her lips from yours, so she could start trailing kisses down your neck. You shivered and trembled in her hold, back arching, so you could feel more of her. You wanted to rip the clothes from her body, feel her skin against yours, feel trapped underneath her as she pounded into you, the way you’d been dreaming of all this time. “Natasha!” You moaned her name and it drove her even more desperate with desire for you. She pulled on your shirt, hearing it rip and starting to fall apart, until she had your breasts in front of her face. Those delicious nipples were just begging to be sucked between her lips, she was sure of it, and she didn’t hesitate to do just that. “Natasha, baby!” You almost screamed this time, feeling the pressure in your stomach grow with every thrust of her hips. “Take me to bed, please!” You begged, nails digging into her shoulders as she bit your nipple. She used her tongue to soothe it and she stole one last quick peck from you, before she moved, carrying you just as effortlessly to the bed and dropping you on the big pile of her hoodies, her own body following right after and trapping you eagerly. “Don’t worry, baby, from now on, you’ll always have my scent on you.” She smirked, positioning herself between your spread legs and rutting against you with the same fervour as before. “Fuck, Natasha!” You let out a little whine. She was getting you so close. You could feel the pleasure rising, even through the layers and you were approaching an embarrassing orgasm much faster than you ever thought possible. “Fuck, baby, you gotta stop, you’re gonna make me…” You tried to warn, but she was having none of it. “Me too, Y/N. Come with me, baby.” She gasped, pulling you as close as she could, her body sweating from the heat and the intensity of the moment.

She couldn’t hold it back. Fuck, she didn’t want to. She just needed a release. She was going to claim you properly after this, give you the pleasure you deserve, but she needed this first. “Oh God!” You practically screamed, holding on to her for dear life, while her movements grew more erratic. She was practically humping you, but it felt so good that you didn’t even care. You just wanted her any way she would let you have her. “Fuck!” She grunted, a short and forceful thrust signalling the beginning of her climax, while she kissed you deeply and it was all you needed to fall off the edge right along with her. Your bodies trembled in unison and you held onto her as you whined, feeling the throbbing of your clit as you came. You felt the way her cock spasmed as well. It twitched in her pants as she released, a sigh of relief falling off her lips as she did. Eventually you both slumped against each-other, the pleasure and the intensity of the moment making you feel drunk and you weakly cuddled up to her, closing your eyes and inhaling her deeply. Natasha felt you fall asleep against her almost immediately and she didn’t have the heart to wake you. Instead, she waited for you to fully relax, before taking a quick shower, discarding her ruined boxers and putting on just her sweat pants and taking her previous spot next to you on the bed, loving the feeling of you in her arms. Her mind was plagued by doubt and insecurity and as she watched you sleep, she wanted to savour every second, too scared that you’ll wake up and realize that you’ve made a huge mistake, that she might have ruined her chance to stay in your life, now that she’d done this. Eventually, exhaustion took over her as well and she allowed herself this moment of bliss, hoping it will never end, only to be woken by soft breathy whines and little whimpers, combined with your sex rubbing itself on any part of her you could reach in the limited space of her hold. Your scent was impossible to ignore in this state and she could smell the beginnings of your heat and the desperate way your body tried to relieve some of the unbearable pressure it felt. You were still asleep, and so beautiful, features dominated by pleasure in your peaceful sleep and she admired your beauty for a long moment, before she decided to wake you. “Wake up, pretty girl.” Natasha whispered, stroking your cheek. “Open those eyes for me.” She encouraged, watching the way you scrunched up your nose, as if the mere thought was offensive. “If you’re gonna use me like that, you have to at least look at me.” She added after a moment.

You blinked your eyes open in confusion, your face brightened up by the sight of her still in your bed, before you realized what you were just doing, momentarily stiffening. You opened your mouth to say something, but you were immediately shushed by a finger on your lips. “Don’t you dare apologize.” Natasha smirked. “I just need to know if you still want this.” She told you, some of her insecurity showing. She knew you were vulnerable right now, the uncomfortable feeling of your heat only growing with each passing second. It would be so easy for her to take you right now. But she didn’t want it that way. She wanted you to be sure. “Natasha… I have loved you for so long, wanted you more than you can know, I’ve spent countless days thinking of you, countless heat cycles moaning your name and wishing you would make it better. Alpha… Please make it better this time?” You practically whined, eyes filling with unshed tears as you felt your insides churning with need. You were sure you would die if she didn’t fuck you right this second. Natasha didn’t say a word this time, pulling down your pants and panties in one smooth motion, gasping at the gorgeous pussy that presented itself to her hungry gaze. You were so wet already, your sweet smell filling her nostrils once more as she ran a finger through your wet folds. “Alpha, don’t tease!” You whined again, your hips canting up for her. “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of you.” She said, taking no time in finding her place between your legs and dipping her tongue in your wetness. “So delicious, baby.” She moaned at your taste, immediately needing so much more of it. She took her time cleaning you up first, savouring your taste with every flick of her tongue, before she finally wrapped her lips around your clit, drawing slow circles over it and driving you crazy with the way she made you feel. She ate you like a woman starved, sometimes sucking on your sensitive clit with fervour and drawing deep moans of pleasure each time. She could hardly keep your hips in place, not that she cared much to try, loving the way you rode her face with clear abandon and she wasn’t surprised when you reached your climax with a strangled cry and a chant of her name. “Fuck, so good!” She murmured, after helping you ride out your orgasm. She was just about ready to start all over again, her own pleasure entirely forgotten, even if she was humping the mattress, but your hand in her hair stopped her. “Yes, that was good… But I need you inside me now, Alpha.” You pleaded, your legs spreading even wider for her. “Only your cock can make it better, please.” You practically begged and it triggered something in the older woman.

She pulled down her sweats in one swift motion, showing you her cock for the first time. God, she was big! You could see the veins that ran along her length and the precum that dripped from her tip. She was perfect. And the look in her eyes was ravenous, so she didn’t hesitate for a second, easily flipping you over and putting you on your hands and knees, letting you present yourself like a proper little Omega for her. She rubbed her length at your opening, getting her cock slick with your juices while you squirmed, but her teasing couldn’t last. She had dreamt of having you this way just as much as you had and she needed to finally claim you. Needed to finally be inside you. “Please.” You begged once more, your hips chasing her and the brief feeling of pleasure and relief that she provided every time she rubbed herself on you. “Like that, baby?” She asked, pushing herself against your opening, her tip sliding inside easily. God you were so warm, so wet, so tight around her and it took everything in her to keep her pace steady. She wanted you to feel good, wanted you to enjoy every second of being with her, she wanted to be so good that you’d never even dream of any other Alpha ever touching you. Not that she’d allow it. Now that she had you this way, she was realizing what she was missing all this time and she wasn’t going to ever let you go. “Just like that, Natasha, please!” You gasped, pushing yourself against her and taking the rest of her cock inside you, all at once. “Fuck!” She grunted, her cock spasming at the feeling of being fully buried inside you. “Is that what you want little Omega?” She asked, she teeth gritted. “You want me to ruin that pretty pussy?” “Yes! God, Alpha!” You screamed, her pace picking up quickly. You could feel your ass bouncing off of her with every thrust, her cock hitting deep inside you each time, her hands squeezing your hips in a grip so tight, you were sure she’s leaving imprints and it was heavenly. She was so good. Better than you ever imagined she would be.

“Come here!” She growled, burying her hands in your hair and pulling you up against her. She held you close, her nose buried in your neck and breathing you in deeply. “You wanna be my little Omega? Want me to claim you, baby girl? Make you mine for good?” She asks, biting your neck gently, just scratching your skin, right on that sensitive spot that drove you wild. “I’ll take good care of you baby. I’ll protect you and keep you safe, I’ll make you happy.” She promised, words soft. She could feel her knot forming at the base of her cock, her release approaching quickly and she barely held it back. You could hardly respond, all your thoughts fading into nothingness at the feeling of her cock deep inside you. You just knew she’s right where she belongs, right where you need her most and you never want it to end. “Feels so good! Yes! Want to be yours! I’ve always been yours.” You pant, soft whimpers cutting off your words, as you felt your orgasm approaching. “I’m so close, baby!” Natasha panted behind you. “You gonna come with me?” She asked softly, pulling your head further back by your hair, to make sure that your neck is fully exposed to her. “Yes, so close! Please! I want you to come inside me, please!” Watching you beg her like that was truly the last straw, and with a final, sharp thrust, Natasha felt her knot slip into place, triggering her orgasm. Endless spurts of white flooded your pussy as she felt the best orgasm of her life. This was the best moment she just knew it, her teeth sinking into your neck to mark you for good, while her legs shook and her cock throbbed inside you, making her see stars. Her knot slipping in triggered your orgasm as well and you cried out, a deep sense of satisfaction washing over you when you felt the spurts of her cum fill you up to the brim. Not even a drop slipped past her as she still rutted against you, prolonging both your pleasure. But it was her teeth sinking in that really had you experience extasy, a second orgasm crashing over you, right after the first and you milked her of everything she had as you felt yourself being claimed. When it was all over, Natasha laid you down gently and settled on top of you, your bodies still perfectly connected, chests heaving. As you turned a little, trying to look up, Natasha did her best to accommodate you and after look down at you, eyes hooded from lust, she silently turned her neck, silently offering it for you to leave your own mark on her and seal your connection for good. You licked at her neck a few times, feeling her shiver in anticipation and you sunk your teeth into her, just as she had done, hearing her soft whimpers of pleasure at the action and you tried to soothe the wound as best you could, offering her little licks and kisses that she happily accepted, even if each one made her cock throb once more. “I don’t want you going on any more missions.” She finally said, her voice thoughtful. “Especially if I can’t be there to keep you safe. You’re my mate. My love. I don’t want you in danger. I don’t want other Alphas looking at you, thinking they can have what’s mine. Don’t go tomorrow, love?” She confessed, almost pleading with you to understand. “I’ll talk to Steve.” You nodded, placing a small kiss on her lips. “And I’ll talk to Wanda.” Natasha grumbled, remembering the other Alpha and the way she had her hands around you. Her words made you laugh and the older woman looked down at you confused. “What? You think I didn’t see her hands around you, touching your hair, talking to you like that. She can’t have you!” Natasha insisted, more firmly now. “Oh, baby…” You smiled, shaking your head in disbelief. “You really don’t know?” “Know what?” She squinted down at you. “She never wanted me. I know for a fact she has her eyes on a certain robot… But I sure am grateful she gave you a push.” You laughed and this time Natasha laughed with you. “Good luck mating him.” She joked, finally relaxing, allowing her eyes to close in content. She finally had her mate. _____________________________________________________

Dear anon, on the 12th of June you sent me this request... I don't know if you still use Tumblr, I don't know if you still follow my blog, or read my fics, hell, I don't even know if you remember sending me this, it was so long ago... But should you ever see your request and read this fic, I hope you'll enjoy it!

#lesbian #writing #natasha romanoff #Alpha!Natasha Romanoff #Natasha Romanoff x Reader #Natasha Romanoff x Y/N #Natasha Romanoff x you #Natasha Romanoff smut #black widow x reader #Black Widow

[quarterdollar]

SEVERELY obsessed with the character insight here. so obsessed that i typed a long-ass post of analysis, in which i support the argument that volo really isn’t a complete sociopath, he’s just a big emotional short-sighted hypocrite.

as we know, volo’s endgame goal is to subjugate arceus and recreate the world from scratch, implicitly so that whatever pain and heartbreak he’s experienced/witnessed no longer exists. this is of course an intentional parallel to cyrus’s desire to create a world without spirit in response to the emotional pain he experienced in his childhood. while we do not have a concrete explanation on what exactly the painful events volo experienced were like we do with cyrus, he talks about them enough that it’s clear that they impacted him significantly. that is to say i think he’s expressing his thoughts and feelings sincerely when he brings the topic up, he isn’t lying or trying to misdirect you in any way in regards to that.

i bring this up because a big portion of cyrus’s character that to this day flies over many fans’ heads is that he is defined by ironies and hypocrisies. he wishes for a world devoid of any emotions specifically because he is dominated by them—he confesses as much during his rant in the distortion world:

cyrus also famously has a crobat on his team, which evolves through high friendship, despite his steadfast belief that spirit—of which friendship is undoubtedly a part—is an ugly, vague, incomplete thing. in addition to this, usum all but explicitly confirms that the journal of a child who befriended a rotom was written by him. so, in conclusion, cyrus has a heart and is easily swayed by good emotions as well as bad.

so now we come to volo’s new dialogues in pokemon masters. i think that they have made it clearer that like cyrus’s emotional actions, his obsessions with history & preserving memories through photographs are meant to be genuine hypocrisy on his part, rather than intentional obfuscation of intent. think about it—a man who’s dominated by curiosity & love for history also claims to want to remake the world so utterly that all of that history is rendered completely destroyed. yet even in the depths of his post-defeat breakdown he still maintains that defining curiosity of his:

and now i ask, what is curiosity, if not an expression of love for the world around you? despite claiming to want to destroy the current world and all evidence of its existence, volo also still wants to know absolutely everything about it, past and present. it’s inherently contradictory. and this brings me to the recurring themes in his pokemas dialogue: how he not only appreciates photographs as a way to create a tangible record of history, but as a way “to capture and isolate the best moments”. those happy moments worth holding onto and looking back on in the future. see also the photograph of him and togepi in the original game, never commented on, taken for no apparent reason other than the fun of it—or more specifically, as these dialogues suggest, to isolate that moment in time in a tangible form. that is an act of love and of sentiment.

so, what’s the conclusion i’m getting at here? well, because of the ambiguity of his character in the base game. i’ve seen that volo is often interpreted as being a manipulative sociopath motivated solely by his desire for control. everything he does before the postgame is entirely a lie, absolutely none of the facade was genuine, etc. and don’t get me wrong, he is a control freak with a god complex! he does railroad the player into doing what he wants! he is not honest and he is not a good person. but, i think there is very much an intentional irony to him the same way there is with cyrus, in that his road to hell was paved with good intentions. he has the capacity for genuine kindness and i personally believe that his descent into villainy was spurred entirely by an earnest appreciation for the world around him and a desire to eliminate suffering.

as a closing statement, i want to bring up a quote from volo himself regarding calaba of the pearl clan:

i don’t think it’s that volo feels nothing for his pokemon or for the people around him—rather, i think he simply loves the world very, very much.

#pkmn musings #pokemon #pla #volo #pokemas #the consummate merchant

[piratefishmama]

Nest | Part 7

The cafeteria was… chaotic, on the best of days. You had to have nerves of steel and endless patience to work in those kitchens, they couldn’t just walk around with a list of options for Omegas to choose from for their days ahead, it was a ‘they want this right this minute and it could change in five so be quick!!’ kind of deal.

They were dealing with Heat-minded Omegas, which meant they might as well have been dealing with a whole building full of pregnant people. Cravings right left and centre and none of them made any sense to anyone with working tastebuds.

The only thing they consistently had, was carbs.

It meant they had to get creative sometimes.

Owens had been an absolute genius and had made sure there were a few fridges and cabinets stocked at all times with the base items to make up the ‘weirder shit’ that couldn’t be made on the fly. Like Celery sticks, peanut butter, Nutella, carrots, etc.

Anything vaguely phallic shaped was cut up into chunks, slices, or mashed because heat-minded Omegas were sometimes very stupid.

The cabinets also stocked treats too, various snack foods, chips, candy, cakes, etc. It was mostly carb loading foods, things high in carbohydrates which Omegas needed and often craved during the second stage of their heat.

Owens funded that one himself. Took the cost of whatever went into those fridges and those cabinets right out of his own pocket because it wasn’t industry standard across the clinics to have them, so the government wouldn’t fund the addition to the kitchens.

But that brilliant idea had taken a lot of stress off of the four cooks they had on staff, two betas, one Alpha her Omega mate. All of whom had been so close to quitting before the fridges and cabinets were installed. Overworked and underpaid.

This meant that Steve’s trip to the cafeteria was a quick one. He grabbed snack foods, a few veggie options, and picked up one of each tub of Nutella and Peanut butter, worst case scenario, Eddie wouldn’t want any of it, but at the very least he’d appreciate Steve bringing them to him. Like a good Alpha, providing for his Omega.

He put it all into a little basket, and carried it out with him, paying little mind to the looks he was getting.

He knew what he’d almost done. He knew how close he’d come to doing something he couldn’t take back, and no matter how much Eddie had asked for him to do it… whether he’d be happy about it after his heat cleared… that wouldn’t make a difference.

He’d have assaulted an Omega during their heat.

So he took the looks, kept his head down and quickly made his way back to Eddie’s room, where sure enough two Betas had been posted outside to act as guards given their natural ability to neutralise both heat and rut pheromones with their own.

Alphas were good for strongarming someone, but a Beta would be more useful in a pheromone based frenzy.

“Harrington” one of them greeted him, and for a moment, just a moment, he thought they wouldn’t let him in, but neither of them stopped him from unlocking the door, and neither of them said another word against him going inside.

They were there just in case, to protect Eddie.

Eddie, who was still asleep when he walked in, just as he’d expected him to be, Eddie who’d pulled a blanket free from the structure of the nest to curl around, who seemed to stir the closer Steve got to the nest until he was grumbling, sleepy, his eyes still partially closed but uncurling from his blanket to reach out to him with a soft “Alphaaa” that made Steve’s heart clench.

“M’here Eddie, wakey wakey, Omega, m’here” he had permission to enter the nest already, but he still waited just long enough for Eddie to reach out to him. “I got you some things, Eds” speaking softly, he climbed in, lowering himself to sit beside the sleepy Omega, who peeked at him through thick dark brown curls.

Curls that Steve found himself gently brushing aside behind his ear to see that pretty face underneath, pretty, awake, and smiling at him.

“You got me things?” God he was beautiful. How had he never noticed how beautiful this ridiculous Omega was? How had he been so blind? "Is my big strong Alpha providing for me?"

Focus Steve, he told himself, do not let him rile you up. “Mmhm, some food, snacks really, I wasn’t sure what you’d be hungry for yet, so I got a variety of things just in case” he’d have brought the entire goddamn cafeteria for him had he known it’d make him light up like a few snacks did.

Eddie was up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with the back of his hand, smiling, “Oh god m’starving… how’d you know I’d be hungry?” Steve didn’t stop him from grabbing the basket, smiling in warm amusement as he watched Eddie rifle through the goodies picking out the things he actually wanted, thankful that among the things, there were actually things he’d want.

“Stage two. Owens… the director here, he… said something, that how your reactions to things are like you’re skipping heat stages in response to finally having an alpha nearby.” He wouldn’t mention the scent mate thing, not yet anyway, he wasn’t about to get his hopes up and Eddie didn’t need that confusion on top of everything. “I figured since the nest is made up and we’re comfortable with each other, you’d probably jump into the second stage before the days up, very uncommon but not impossible apparently, so you’d start getting really hungry pretty soon.”

“Having it broken down like stages feels weird, like… clinical I guess.”

“We are in a clinic.”

“Touché.” Eddie opened a bag of chips, content to eat those for the time being, but an expression of thought still lingered on his face as he ate before he asked “Did… did you get into trouble?”

“No, I would have… had I not stopped myself, but Owens has faith in my ability to keep my hands and other parts to myself.”

“Boooo” Steve laughed, ducking his head in bashful amusement “think if you got my legal guardian’s permission you’d be able to—”

“Your uncle can't consent for you, not that anyone in their right mind would ask him, plus he’s not even your legal guardian anymore, you’re older than me, Eddie, you’re your own legal guardian.” Unfortunately that meant he was shit out of luck. “I can hold you though… if you’d like that?”

“…Will you?” In response, Steve opened his arms up, giving Eddie the perfect little spot to crawl and snuggle himself back into, tucking his legs in and leaning back into Steve’s warm embrace, releasing the softest hum of contentment as Steve buried his face into the junction between neck and shoulder and just breathed, his arms squeezing gently around him.

He still smelled earthy, like camping in the forest, dirt, moss, everything Steve loved about morning jogs through the woods, or hikes into the mountains, the smells. It filled his senses and left him rumbling, content, purring into Eddie’s neck, delighting at the sound of Eddie’s own matching purr as he relaxed into the embrace, only the crunch of chips breaking those little purrs. “Feel better?” Steve hummed into his neck.

Eddie snuggled himself back, as if trying to climb inside his Alpha, snuggling his head up under Steve’s chin, remnants of sleep still clinging to his mind making it easy to fall into a comfortable doze, even with his chips in his arms. “Mmnhm… promise you’ll do this when I get out of here too?”

“You’ll have to fight me off with a stick.”

“Duel at sunset? I might surrender very quickly if I get cuddles out of it.” Steve pressed a light kiss into the top of Eddie’s hair then nuzzled into his curls.

“Then I accept your surrender ahead of schedule and offer cuddles for as long as you want them.”

“Is forever a good amount of time?”

“Forever is the perfect amount of time.”

Part 9

#PirateWrites #NestFiclet #Steddie #CW: A/B/O #No Upside Down AU #Omegaverse #Omega!Eddie Munson #Alpha!Steve Harrington

[shanbinswf]

LEAVE YOUR LOVER — yoon keeho [repost]

landing page. main masterlist.

pairing: best friend roommate keeho x afab reader

genre: mild angst, mild fluff, smut (mdni)

plot: your best friend and roommate keeho doesn’t take too kindly to how your boyfriend treats you, so after some good food and a few glasses of wine, he makes a proposal. one night with him, and if you feel nothing, he’ll never bring up how shit your boyfriend is again.

wc: 4714

warnings under the cut.

warnings: reader cheats on her boyfriend, reader’s boyfriend is a right asshole (still don’t defend her cheating), mentions of body image and low self esteem, mentions of food and eating, mentions of alcohol consumption and being mildly drunk, kind of drunk sex but also kind of not. technically a part one.

YOU WOULD NEVER SAY YOU HATED YOUR BOYFRIEND PER SAY, BUT HE WAS FOR SURE MAKING HIS WAY INTO YOUR BAD BOOKS AS OF RECENT WEEKS.

His most recent stunt? You were meant to be hanging out with him over the course of a couple of days at some spa retreat weekend he had planned, only for him to flake out the morning of. He claimed he had some work ‘things’ he had yet to finish, but you knew the truth—he just wanted to spend the weekend drunk with his boys and forget he had a girlfriend back home, something he was seemingly starting to do quite often.

Lucky you hadn’t packed your bags. You had faced one too many weekend getaway trips being cancelled at the last minute for an array of reasons—none of which you believed.

He seemed to forget you both ran in the same circle of friends, though, so you often caught him out in his lies through the social media posts your friends posted with or of him. And the most recent night out? He even had a woman’s arms around his neck while they danced.

Your best friend and roommate, Yoon Keeho, was witness to all the screaming and writhing around you did when you held your phone to your face and read over the shitty messages your even shittier boyfriend send you.

While you couldn’t say you hated your boyfriend—despite being not far off from being able to make the claim; Keeho was less forgiving and very open about the fact he hated your boyfriend with his entire being.

Each time you invited your boyfriend over, Keeho was less than accommodating. He often made sure to push his way to sit between you so your boyfriend was either sandwiched to the end of the couch, or worst case, Keeho always made an effort to make himself as big as possible so he took up more space which more often than not ended with your boyfriend being forced to sit on the singular bean bag chair—the same one you often drunk-made out with Keeho on. A secret your boyfriend didn’t need to know.

Keeho lazed back in his usual chair at the small table you had both just bought and assembled. His fingers gently played with the stalk of the wine glass, and his eyes looked everywhere around the apartment bar at you. “We’ve really made this place our own, don’t you think?” A small, soft smile tugged at his lips.

You nodded your head, looking around also. The place was mostly decorated with Ikea furniture, but you had both chipped in to buy everything—it helped you had similar tastes. You admired the red pull out double bed couch in the living room, and you couldn’t help but feel excitement at the 55 inch TV that decorated the wall which cost… a lot. But it was worth it. It made your movie nights all the more exciting.

“Shame we can’t break the table in,” Keeho’s voice became low, barely audible but as the apartment was silent, you could still hear every word that passed his lips. At first, you didn’t respond. It took a few seconds of the words to sink in. And when they finally did, your eyebrow raised in reaction.

“Excuse me? I plan to eat at the table every meal, every day,” You defended, sitting up straighter. Your knees hit the leg of the table, making it shake slightly. You rushed to grab the base if your wine glass, not wanting to spill any. It was a bottle Keeho bought when you first moved out to live alone, mere weeks before he begged to move in with you as his old roommates were being kicked out of their apartment at that time.

And what kind of best friend would you be if you said no to him?

Keeho’s face deadpanned, and you realised the meaning behind his words rather swiftly. You gasped, but then raised your hand to hide your laugh. You tilted your head back. “Gross, I don’t want to think about my best friend fucking some random girl on the table I eat at!” Your face crinkled as you cringed, shaking your head furiously to try to rid yourself of the thought.

Keeho raised an eyebrow, leaning on his elbows. He leant across the table, and you felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. You had a boyfriend, the feelings you had for Keeho were wrong. But you still couldn’t snuff them out—no matter how hard you tried.

“Who said it was going to be some random woman? I was planning on fucking someone you know quite well,” And while a part of you thought he was insinuating it be yourself, you shook your head and reminded yourself to not get lost in the fantasy. You saw the girls he followed on his social media apps, the ones he often thirsted over (yes, even to you as he thrust his phone into your hand for better view of the screen)—the women who you deemed a total opposite to yourself.

“If you fuck one of my friends, you’re sleeping in a shitty tent on the balcony and I’m selling your room to someone else,” You faux threatened, but the humour didn’t reach your eyes as your chest ached just at the thought of his hands on someone else, ached at the thought of his attention being stolen by someone else—even worse at the idea of it being someone you know and call a friend.

You wanted that. You wanted… him.

Keeho leant back against his seat and brought the wine glass to his lips, tilting his head as he took a sip. He looked elegant, his white shirt sleeves pushed up his arms and his glasses sat on the edge of his nose. You wanted to pounce on him, but ever since you had been friends with him at the start of your college years, you had found great strength and control.

Back then, you always found Keeho incredibly attractive and even considered asking him for a one night stand several times, but when you guys went clubbing and found him in some corner with his hands on a stranger’s ass, you always backed out of the idea. And then you began to date.

Sure, most of your boyfriends never lasted long and some even claimed your friendship with Keeho was suspicious, you had learnt to keep your feelings and desires on a very tight leash over the years. Now your current boyfriend has no fear of you and Keeho living together, and you almost questioned if he would even think twice if he caught you and Keeho napping on the couch in one another’s arms—a common recent occurrence on lazy, rainy weekends.

Keeho placed the wine glass back on the table, his eyes locking onto you. “I never said it would be one of your friends. I just said you knew her very well.”

Your skin tingled, and you rushed to stand. You forced a laugh and pointed to the direction of your bedroom. “I’m going to take a shower and change into some pyjamas…”- Your voice trailed off as your mind flashed with an intrusive thought—begging to ask him to shower with you or wait patiently in your room as you busied yourself to look perfect in an attempt to gain his attention, even if it lasted just a second.

As if he could read minds, Keeho stood and held his wine glass, following behind you. You turned to face him as you reached your door, eyebrow raised with suspicion. “Why are you stalking me?”

“I’m going to watch a movie in your bed while you shower. You said it’s movie night so you have to keep your promises,” He sounded defensive, his lips pouted ever so slightly.

“We literally have a huge TV and pull-out bed in the living room,” You began, but his pout only increased at your words as he found himself disliking them the more you talked. You rolled your eyes and grabbed his face with your hand, squeezing his cheeks to force his lips to stick out even more. “You’re such a big baby, you know that?”

“Yeah, your baby,” He managed to get out, his face daring to turn so he could press a kiss to your wrist. You gasped and pulled your hand away from his face.

“Gross, Keeho germs,” You giggled, then turned to finally throw your bedroom door open.

“That’s not what you said a few weeks ago when you were making out with me and basically dry humping me,” Keeho spoke confidently, and your eyes fell wide as you looked around—as if your boyfriend or any other intruding ears could overhear.

“You promised not to talk about that, I’ve been good lately and I haven’t laid a hand on you in… that way ever since,” You defended yourself.

A part of you often lay awake at night after your drunken escapades with Keeho. He never pushed you away, no matter how much you got lost in the feeling of his lips. His hands always remained polite and on your waist, never daring to move in either direction. Surely any other just-a-best-friend would push you away if you kissed them… right? But Keeho… he never did.

“I wish you would,” Keeho said matter of fact my before he forced his way into your bedroom. He walked to your bed without a care in the word and placed his wineglass on the bedside table your boyfriend claimed his own, then he threw himself on the bed—the same place your boyfriend slept whenever he slept over, which was not often.

A place you wished was claimed by Keeho instead…

Your phone buzzed from in the drawer where you locked it before your Ikea trip, holding it prisoner for fear you would text your boyfriend in a fit of rage or sadness. Keeho noticed your eyes flicker to the drawer, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t you fucking dare give in. End it with him.”

You tore your eyes away from the drawer and made your way to your wardrobe. You opened the doors, then you pulled open the top drawer. Your hand reached in and you felt a pair of your favourite lounge ware, a grey coloured super soft set of pyjama shorts and a vest top with pale pink detailing of lace. You threw a look over your shoulder. “You know it’s not that easy,”

And then you disappeared into your en-suite bathroom.

That was one of the best and worst things about your apartment—both bedrooms had their own en-suite bathrooms. You wished there was a joint one sometimes, so you could relish in the scent of his body wash that suffocated the room when he was finished cleaning after his workouts or a long day.

A part of you also hated the idea, you wanted privacy to get lost in the world of Keeho-dreams—dreams of… an intimate nature. Dreams you felt ashamed to be having. Dreams your other friends assured you meant you were in love with Keeho. Dreams that had you delusional, and defensive over your own feelings at the same time.

The kind of dreams you should be having about your boyfriend and not your roommate and best friend.

You turned the shower on and allowed the room to steam up before you stepped in. The warm water hit you like a wave and hugged your body, making you feel comfortable and at ease. You had to remember he was just in the next room though, and you had to keep your hands tasked on only washing your body.

Once you felt clean, you washed your hair and then tied it back, too lazy to dry it properly. Then you made your way back to your bedroom.

Keeho was lazing against the headboard of your bed, and as he looked from the TV screen to you, you suddenly felt self conscious. It didn’t help that your bedroom had a cool air flowing through, hitting your exposed thighs and making you shiver.

You noticed his eyes looked down your body. Noticed how his eyes lingered a bit too long on your thighs. You rushed to sit on your side of your bed, grabbing a pillow to hide your body behind—and to attempt to gain some kind of warmth.

You smiled at Keeho, leaning closer to him to get a better view of the awkwardly angled TV screen. You silently made note to buy yourself a larger one, as out of you both, only you had a TV in your door. Keeho had a gaming PC, but it was out of commission for movies as one of his friends tipped water over the monitor and broke it—and Keeho has still yet to replace it.

“What are we watching?” You asked, your face closer to Keeho’s than you wished for, but you were doing a good job at controlling your inner urges.

“Some romance movie I think, I let Netflix choose one by random,” He replied, his arm snaking around your side to pull you closer.

Your body soon became flush to the side of his, and you wanted to either get up and run away, or sit on his lap and be even closer to him; but you stopped yourself from doing either option. You decided to rest your head on his shoulder, forcing a yawn to pretend you were tired. You just wanted to be close to him, but you couldn’t risk your friendship… Or relationship at that. The one you kept forgetting you were even in.

You watched the movie intently, inwardly cringing when a kissing scene appeared. Your eyes begged to flick to Keeho, to admire his perfect plump lips that you had last kissed a few weeks ago… you had to stop thinking about him like that—you had to forget your feelings for him and at least try to like your boyfriend for once.

As if right on cue, your phone began to buzz again, and you sighed.

You decided you best pick it up or he would call all night long. You pulled away from Keeho and threw your pillow on the floor, then you opened your bedside table a crack to pull the phone out but to ensure your privacy stayed intact. You knew if Keeho saw what you hid in your drawers, he would never let you live it down.

You rushed to shut the drawers, then you tried to slide the button to accept the call but the second your finger touched the green circle, your phone was swiped from your hands and thrown on a pile of nearby recently-cleaned clothes that needed folding and putting away.

You glared at Keeho. "What the fuck was that for?" You asked, rushing to get on your hands and knees so you could climb over him to get to the phone. But the second your left thigh landed on the bed the other side of his, his hands moved to grip your waist tight and hold you in place.

Keeho's eyes looked angry, and his grip was tighter than the soft lingering touches you were used to. You raised an eyebrow, confused by his sudden actions. He couldn't help himself, and his hands pulled your body to be flush against his. You gasped again, but this time you decided not to question him.

You had given in, and for once, you felt like you weren't the only one pushing your hidden desires onto him.

“Don’t answer his call,” Keeho’s voice was small, almost begging. Your eyes softened, and your hands came to rest on his cheeks. His own eyes softened at that, and his lips turned up into a smile.

“I can’t just ignore him all night,” You replied softly, which Keeho did not seem to take too kindly to. His hands tightened on your sides, your hands moving to hold onto his shoulders to support yourself. You felt like he was going to swallow you whole.

“Don’t you fucking dare try to answer his call, or we are over,” Keeho’s voice was louder this time, but somehow deeper. You blinked innocently, surprised.

“Us? Over? We’re roommates, you can’t just move out because I answered a phone call,” You giggled a little, trying to laugh off his reaction as nothing more than a best friend caring for you—being a little too possessive over you.

“I’m not talking about moving out, I’m talking about how you’re my girl,” He over pronounced the word my, which caused you to tilt your head. He leant his head back against the wall with a sigh, and his hands moved from your sides to your thighs. His hands ran up and down slowly, gently. And your self conscious concerns were slowly coming back.

“What do you mean by my girl?” You asked, pulling your off of his body. You still made no effort to pull away from him though, but from the way you shifted on his lap and received a sharp intake of breath, you knew he was about to say something either very hurtful, or something you had been dreaming about for years.

“You can’t really think of us as just friends, right?” Keeho asked, his eyes closed and face still tilted towards the ceiling. You shook your head, but realised he couldn’t see or sense the motion so you muttered a rejection to the statement. “Exactly, we’re basically a fucked up couple and have been for years. But I don’t want to keep denying my feelings or pushing us apart, which is why I’m telling you not to answer his calls. End it with him, leave him.”

“I’ve told you before, it’s not that simple—” You began to which his head shot back to your direction, and his hand slap your thigh with a slight sting. “What the fuck was that for?” You asked, voice a little too loud, to which he raised an eyebrow. “I can’t just ghost him. I have to end it with him properly, you know I’ve wanted to for a while… I just don’t know how.”

Keeho nodded his head in understanding, one of his hands moving to tangle into your hair while the other thank spanked your thigh rubbed over the pink skin soothingly. “Well we can worry about that later, but how about we have some us time tonight, yeah?” Keeho smirked and even wiggled his eyebrows for added effect.

You laughed at first, but then moved your hands to his shoulders with a serious look on your face. “But then won’t I be cheating?”

“Well…” Keeho began, tilting his head to the side. “If you think about it, from the day we first met, I’ve been claiming you as my girl so technically… you’ve been cheating on me for years.”

You rolled your eyes, the smile back on your lips. “Not sure that’s how it works, but you do you I guess.”

“I’d rather do you,” He murmured, his hand forming a fist to get a good grip on your hair before he leant forward and pressed his lips gently to yours. The all-too-familiar fireworks erupted under your skin, warmth spreading everywhere he touched. You craved him, needed him to survive. It was like you were drowning, and he was your last gasp of fresh air.

You pulled back so you could watch your hands as you slowly slid them from his shoulders, down his chest, then you finally let them find home on his stomach over his shirt. Your fingertips begged to reach under and trace along his skin, but you resisted the urge.

His hand moved up your thigh, the highest it had gone that night, and you flinched. He noticed the action as he had been very intently watching your face and ever reaction to how you relished in the feeling of his body being so close to yours, and he couldn’t help but frown. Had your boyfriend said something to make you fear men touching your thighs? The thought alone pissed him off more than he thought possible.

“You okay, angel?” His voice whispered, and you mumbled something at first which he couldn’t quite catch. “Speak up baby, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

“I asked can you maybe…” You sighed as you leant your head forward onto his shoulder, closing your eyes. “I’m a bit self conscious about people touching certain parts of my body and my thighs are one of those places,” You explained.

Keeho turned his head to press a kiss against your temple, his fist in your hair loosening as his fingers decided to gently run through it instead. You realised he was trying to soothe you, and you couldn’t help but smile as you pressed turned your head and pressed your face into his neck.

“You’re so fucking cute,” Keeho whispered before he attempted to pull your body back so he could resume kissing you. Your body grew hot at the compliment, and so you rushed to try to hide his eyes from noticing and so you pressed your lips to his first. But firmer this time.

This time, there was almost a sense of urgency behind the kiss. The pressure was firm and your lips moved against each other faster. His hands moved to your thighs again, but the pressure was barely there, as if he was ghosting his hands over your skin. The sensation felt good, a little too good. So you gasped, and Keeho let out a faint chuckle before he took advantage of the situation and intruded your mouth with his tongue.

When you and Keeho made out, it was always messy. Messy, needy, a mess of all your unspoken feelings in a rush to get out. But this time, there was no rush or any unspoken feelings. You knew how he felt about you, and so you were ready to give into it all.

Your hands daringly moved lower on his stomach, reaching under his shirt. You hadn’t intended to insinuate for him to take it off, but that was how he took the action… and you weren’t complaining. Keeho detached from your lips long enough to quickly unbutton his shirt and pull it off before he found home against your lips once again.

His body was radiating warmth, and so one of your arms moved to wrap around his neck as you tried to pushed your body into his as much as possible. You felt him smile against your lips, and his hand moved higher up your thigh.

Then all of a sudden, hands grip your sides and you were thrown onto your back. You blinked with surprise at the sudden action, looking up at Keeho who now lay between your legs above you. He smiled down at you, eyebrow cocked. “You look a little dazed already baby. Is kissing me that good?”

You nod slowly, too drunk off the feeling of his lips to respond with anything else.

He laughed, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lower lip before he pulled back again. “Then wait until you feel my cock inside you. You’re going to be lost in heaven.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes, the arm that was lazing around his neck moving to his hair to gently tangle in the locks. “You’re pretty confident in yourself, but all I hear are words and no proof.”

Keeho shrugged, his hands moving from your sides to the insides of your knees. “Well I’m more than willing to show you right now if you ask nicely.”

Again, you rolled your eyes to which Keeho tutted. His hands pushed your legs apart and against the bed, this one of them moved to spank the opposite thigh to the one he had earlier. The action caused you to gasp, and you looked down your body to find his slotted against yours as if he was made for you.

“Less attitude, or I’ll have to fuck it out of you,” He threatened.

You pushed your lips closed in a show you were going to listen to his  every word, and he couldn’t help but smile and laugh at the action. He leant down and pressed his lips to yours, but kissing you slowly once again. His hand that spanked your thigh did the same as the other one and earlier, gently rubbing the pink skin to ease the slight sting he had caused.

But then his hands daring slid up your thighs higher, to where the bottom of your shorts sat. Between kisses, you took a sharp intake of breath—one he heard and couldn’t resist but to smirk at. He was relishing in the way your body was reacting to his every touch. God, he wished he had done that sooner.

His fingertips pushed up the bottom of your shorts, delicate and dancing along your skin. You rushed to grab his wrists, pulling back to look into his eyes. “What are we doing?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Well, right now we’re talking instead of kissing like we should be.”

You rolled your eyes once again, earning a slap on your thigh. “Attitude,” He warned to which you let go of his wrists and held your hands up to prove your innocence.

“I meant… we’ve only ever made out before…” Your words trailed off. He nodded in response, then took a few seconds to realise what you were asking. He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Well, would you like to do more?” He asked, laughing when you gave him a serious, almost stone cold look.

“You know I want to do more,” You replied.

“Well, do I? From what I can tell, I’m the one who has been simping over you all night while you’ve been too bust rolling your eyes or running your mouth,” Keeho responded.

“Please don’t make me get soppy about my feelings right now when your hands are basically under my clothes,” You laughed, Keeho laughing in response before he nodded with agreement. He decided to let it go… for now, he thought.

He leant his head back down, about to shower you in more kisses. You pursed your lips, waiting. But you never felt the pressure hit your lips. Instead, you felt soft lips trail down your jaw, down your neck… You took in a small breath, finding yourself enjoying the feeling as you closed your eyes.

One of Keeho’s hands pulled back from your thigh but instead moved to the front of your shorts, his fingers playing with the strings. He seemed… almost nervous to untie it. You nodded frantically, trying to focus on the feeling of his lips on your collarbones and his fingertips dancing on the inside of your thigh.

He felt the shake of your head so he pulled back and knelt above you, his fingers removed from your skin. His hands both moved to the strings of your shorts, and his eyes remained on yours as he gently pulled the strings. The top of your shorts felt loose, and you lifted your hips in an attempt to help him.

Keeho smiled softly and leant down to kiss your forehead before his fingers reached into the shorts, then he pushed them down your legs and threw them in the direction of the door to save yourself from having to struggle to determine which pile of your clothes were clean and which were dirty.

His fingers moved back to your thighs, resting on the soft inside. Your breath hitched as the self consciousness came back in waves. You looked around for your pillow to try to hide your body once again, and Keeho seemed to catch onto your feelings without you even expressing them.

“Baby,” He whispered, leaning down to brush his lips against your ear. “You look so beautiful, how did I get so lucky.”

You smiled at his words, your hand coming to rest on the back of his neck as your fingers found home to tangle into his hair.

#p1h #p1harmony #p1harmony scenario #p1harmony smut #p1harmony keeho #p1harmony imagine #p1h keeho #p1h smut #p1h keeho smut #keeho smut #yoon keeho

[orbmanson7]

Let's do a quick analysis of this new short video "The Sides Need a Nice Day" which is clearly meant to be mostly for fun, but there's definitely some hints and easter eggs to pay attention to that I'd like to explore a little further.

I'll address this in three parts in separate posts, the first for Patton and Logan, the next for Virgil and Roman, and the last for Janus and Remus.

Let's start with the first part, about Patton and Logan.

Patton's initial approach, as we can see, was flawed despite his good intentions. He wants to do something nice for Logan, he thinks out ideas based on what he knows Logan enjoys, and he likes to see Logan actually having fun. These are all very emotion-based notions and motivations, which we can expect from Patton. He's inspired by his own emotions in response to seeing the videos online, and takes matters into his own hands to give Logan in particular a special day.

Why Logan? Because Patton's very in tune with emotions and can recognize that Logan has been having a tough time lately. He empathizes with this a lot (considering it's kind of his thing) so he wants to do something that he'd like someone to do for him if he was having a bad day - do something to cheer him up!

This is very sweet and he clearly puts a lot of thought into this idea...but it's not an immediate success because he only really puts the emotional concept and vision into it, and didn't think practically or make his decisions with logic in mind.

Wonder who could have helped with something like that...

First, he approached Logan about making a quick decision, which is not something Logan is ever known to do. Logan resists this right away by questioning him for clarification and is already annoyed to start because Patton is being vague and trying to get Logan to play along without giving consideration to Logan's need to understand a situation and weigh his options before deciding anything. Logan takes no action lightly and always thinks his actions through first, as opposed to Patton, who prefers gut instincts and impulsive action. He doesn't bother to offer Logan the information and time to make a more informed decision, all because he wants to hurry up and get to the fun part!

Patton (like Roman) is someone who is able to envision what he wants, but Logan is someone who actually figures out the steps needed to make that a reality. Without the steps, that vision is but a dream, and without the vision, the steps are just work with no purpose.

These sides need to learn to work together to accomplish goals, not just do things on their own, and this part of the episode gives us a hint towards that notion.

The peculiar way that Patton then explains the situation to Logan is also interesting, as he states that whichever option Logan chooses will be something Patton wants to do, and because Patton wants to do it, Thomas will want to do it, meaning Logan gets to do it, too.

This, by itself, is such an alarming concept to drop into this video, especially with Patton saying it so cheerfully.

In case it's not clear, Patton is implying that he has so much power and sway over Thomas' decision-making process that he can have Thomas do something just because he, Patton, wants to do it. None of the sides should have that level of influence over Thomas, but Patton not only has that power but also knows that he does.

(And to clear up any confusion, this is not the same as Janus saying during his part of the video that he's convinced Thomas to lean into certain thoughts for the day. Patton is suggesting that if he wants something, Thomas will do it, as if it's automatic and doesn't require convincing. That may be Patton oversimplifying it a bit, but it's still indicating his status above others in that sense.)

In this case, he's using it to give Logan a nice day by doing (read: permitting Thomas to do) things he knows Logan would enjoy...but in other context, that's a very dangerous situation, especially since Patton has been shown to make bad or skewed judgement calls in the past due to his biases as well as making some very impulsive, emotionally-driven decisions.

But he recognizes this status that he holds and is attempting to use it for good, so at least there's that?

The next and more obvious part of this section shows that Patton is rushing Logan through the activities chosen, talking over him or cutting him off when Logan questions Patton about this, and Logan grows more annoyed by this as time goes on.

He is not quick to anger, even when he was initially forced into deciding something with very little information, and it takes a few times of being pushed and talked over before he even shows his frustration at all.

It's important to notice this because Logan's anger is not just born of nothing. It's valid because it's a natural reaction to the situation he's in not being properly catered to him.

This is something we see in episodes of the series a lot, and when it comes to the specific moments where Logan has truly gotten angry enough to show it, it's never out of nowhere, even if it may seem that way. If you are properly paying attention, you will see the gradual buildup, where Logan keeps holding himself back, staying calm and collected as long as he can, before the emotion bursts out and he acts rashly (and then regrets it).

Logan's anger has been shown to appear after moments where he is repeatedly cut off, spoken over, and ignored or disregarded completely. Being silenced and skipped over so often, it's a wonder Logan keeps trying at all, but he does. At some point, the last line is crossed, and he explodes with that anger.

While the resulting behavior may be inappropriate or rude, the feelings motivating that behavior are extremely valid, because he's being pushed to this breaking point by others. Anger serves the purpose of making it known when someone's boundaries have been crossed and when they have been wronged, so it makes sense for Logan to experience it at these times.

So, in this short video, Patton is trying to do something nice for him, and Logan can recognize and appreciate Patton's intention, but the execution is filled with the same mannerisms that build Logan's anger - being cut off, spoken over, ignored. It's not that he doesn't enjoy these activities, either, but he's not being given the chance to enjoy them with the way Patton is presenting them to him. It's a recipe for disaster because Logan's needs and boundaries aren't being respected despite the whole point being to do something nice for him.

This is also a tough situation for someone to oppose, by the way! When someone does something nice for you but you honestly hate it, how do you begin to tell them that? You don't want to hurt their feelings because you know they were trying to be nice and meant no harm, but if you don't speak up about the issues you had with it, your boundaries could wind up violated over and over again and the other party would be none the wiser.

Logan must voice his frustration. He has to explain why he's upset. And, thankfully, in this section of the video, he does!

He starts by stopping Patton directly, hand out and everything. He speaks calmly and clearly, using the same tone he used when speaking to the others during DwIT to get them to chill out and not be so impulsive. Logan is using what he knows to work to make his case here, and he tells Patton that he appreciates what he's trying to do. But then, he raises his voice and informs Patton what's annoying him about it, that he can't enjoy these activities because he's being rushed through them. This is a direct communication of the issue at hand and why it's bothering him.

Patton then pauses, reflects, realizes his mistake and where he had messed up, and then alters his behavior to fix the issue.

It's so simple and succinct that Logan, while still annoyed, seems confused that Patton actually listened to him and by how easy it was to find that resolution.

And I think that's our next piece of foreshadowing, as well.

Logan has been holding back about his genuine anger and frustration over how he's treated by the other sides and Thomas. He feels ignored and only utilized as a tool, as if he were a book rather than a person (or the metaphysical manifestation of one, at least).

These are not feelings that have only sprung up recently, either - this has been happening for a very long time without Logan ever addressing it.

Until he does, the others won't realize the impact their words and actions truly have on him. He needs to speak up and the others need to listen and adjust accordingly.

With the way Patton responded in this part, though, perhaps this shows that they may have an easier, calmer solution in store than one might initially anticipate, but we shall see.

Speaking of foreshadowing, during the times Logan is shown in the library throughout this part, he is reading a book titled A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. Knowing past easter eggs and hints, it's likely this is not a coincidence.

Having read the book myself, I think it's very possible this is a potential nod to something that may occur soon within Logan's upcoming arc (whenever that may happen), as the book happens to deal a lot with the concept of imprisonment and finding ways to live through adversity.

In the book, the main character is put on house arrest in a bustling hotel in the city, but he's relegated to a cramped attic space and had left all of his books away from home so he cannot access them, because if he dares to leave the hotel, he'll be shot dead. So he stays inside, and he self-reflects because he now has a lot of time to think. He gets to know the people who work and live in the hotel, how their lives are so different than his own had been and continues to be. For quite some time, he feels the true punishment of his stay there, how the whole world outside is moving on so fast, but he is stuck inside, removed from it. He becomes effectively useless, unable to be or do anything for others (outside of giving amazing wine pairings for meals, of course), but he stays true to himself despite it all. He remains his charming and intelligent self, he makes new friends, he finds ways to be happy despite being trapped there.

The most popular quote from the book is one that says, "if a man does not master his circumstances then he is bound to be mastered by them." And while the main character in that story manages to make the best of his life and circumstances, we know that Logan is still struggling with his fate right now, being trapped within Thomas' mind as someone who cannot fully explore his own interests, who has less and less purpose since Thomas left college, and feels less respected and listened to every day.

Logan has to find a way to obtain happiness despite his circumstances, because he can't change his situation, but he can change how he responds to it.

This book may be a clue as to how he finally figures out how to do that.

The outcome of this part of the video with Logan and Patton is a satisfying one. Logan expressed his frustration, Patton listened and was able to correct the issue, and Logan was able to have a nice day after all, which is what Patton had set out to accomplish. There were quite a few bumps along the way, but it was successful in the end!

Now, onto the next part...

#sanders sides #sanders sides analysis #patton sanders #logan sanders #ts spoilers #long post #orbs thought bubbles #I'm posting part one for now and I'll post part two and three later on because i have two jobs back to back today and tomorrow so I'm busy #pfft but i won't make anyone wait for too long i promise

[completeoveranalysis]

[5]

WAIT I'M NOT OVER THIS YET

How SO MUCH of Tsubasa (and xxxHolic) is based around trades. About giving up things in exchange for what you want or what you need. About willingly (or unwillingly) giving up something important in order to get something you want even more.

How this is the first time any character has essentially been given a refund. How the magic was stolen from him - but it also kind of wasn't.

How in Acid Tokyo Fai let his eye get eaten in an attempt to help repair Syaoran's soul. He essentially GAVE his eye and magic to Syaoran on purpose to save him.

And it worked, in a way, eventually! Syaoran had a soul in the end! He was in there! He was making choices! He was alive!

BUT NOW HE'S NOT AND FAI JUST, GETS THE MAGIC BACK. THE PRICE HE PAID IS JUST GIVEN RIGHT BACK TO HIM AS IF NONE OF IT EVER HAPPENED - SYAORAN IS JUST AS DEAD AND GONE AS WHEN HIS SOUL BROKE IN ACID TOKYO, BUT WORSE NOW, BECAUSE NOW THEY ALL KNOW HE CAN'T BE SAVED.

HOW FAI WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY IF HE NEVER HAD THAT MAGIC BACK, IF IT MEANT SYAORAN GOT TO LIVE.

HOW HE LOVED HIS SON AND WANTED HIM TO LIVE AND THAT WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE MAGIC THAT HAD DEFINED HIS WHOLE LIFE. IT WAS A TRADE HE MADE ON PURPOSE.

AND NOW HE JUST... GETS IT BACK.

AND IT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED.

#HE PAID THE PRICE #HE WAS HAPPY WITH THE PRICE #HE PAID THE PRICE ON THE C H A N C E IT MIGHT WORK #AND I DID!!!! #AND HE JUST GETS IT BACK #ITS THE WORST! #IM IN TEARS!! #Liveblogging the reservoir chronicle #Tsubasa #Vol 211 #Fai #Syaoran #OPENLY SOBBING IN THE CLUB TONIGHT

[seafoamreadings]

week of march 3rd, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: there is a lot of aries-favoring astrology this week especially where the lunar nodes are involved, so big things are happening even if they seem small at the moment. the one big thing to watch out for as a possible hiccup is mars square uranus; be very careful. your impulsive nature may get you into some trouble with accidents or fights. slow down and think carefully.

taurus: it may seem like everyone is trying to push your buttons this week, maybe all week long. try to be patient with them, they are likely inconsiderate but not truly malicious.

gemini: mercury conjoins neptune and then heads into aries at the end of the week. before that aries ingress, be cautious with the words others say as they may not be quite true, even if there is no outright or intentional lying. once mercury is safely into aries, though, social circles are likely to become much more fun, even a bit rowdy.

cancerians: especially if you've been wanting travel or try something philosophically or spiritually new to you, this week's new moon in pisces can be quite beneficial for that. set relevant intentions and watch them bear fruit over the next several weeks.

leo: this week it is important for you to stay out of debt, and try to be forgiving of what other people might owe you whether it's financial or otherwise. you can also set powerful intentions with this new moon to pay down credit cards, pay off loans, or simply form stronger interpersonal bonds with people you deeply care for.

virgo: do not neglect communication and connection in your closest and most important relationships, even if it feels a little bit confrontational or scary to do so. what is flimsy may fall apart but that is to make space for where you're really meant to be.

libra: if you can start out the week strong in your routines and rituals, your day-to-day life, making it fun and sacred, then by the end of the week your relationships are, one way or another, rewarded. probably in a huge way, due to the karmic nodal influences.

scorpio: overall amplification of pisces vibes suits you if you've been feeling kind of fizzled out, you get some juice. plus mercury into aries can help you make connections out in your day to day life. but none of it works very well if you sit home and pout too much!

sagittarius: you're widely known as more of a nomad than a homebody, but if you care for your physical base of residence and set kindly intentions around it this week, you'll be pleasantly surprised as to how much fun and excitement it opens up to you in seemingly unrelated ways.

capricorn: likely you're always the lee of the rock to your friends and acquaintances but this week especially you are a safe place, a calm harbor in what others are perceiving as a harsh storm. don't let them take advantage of your kind strength, but don't deprive anyone of safety either. your boundaries are important.

aquarius: your ideal schedule this week should start out with a lot of rest, cleaning and clearing, and planning, and then after the new moon continue with good, sturdy financial intentions. resources and abundance can flow to you if you have cleared the space and made good choices.

pisces: the new moon in your sign heralds many beautiful and favorable things to come. be clear in your intentions - it will result in more powerful manifestations, although you are manifesting whether you mean to or not. watch for signs and you will see your desires take physical form over the next few weeks.

#horoscopes #horoscope #weekly horoscope #weekly horoscopes #astrology #signs #zodiac #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

[denjilvr]

that’s my type!

what kind of person chainsaw man characters are attracted to!

warnings: none!

a/n: this is in no way meant to be mean! it’s just based on my perception of the characters & it’s for fun :)

denji

i think overall he wants someone with a big heart, or at least big enough to like him

as he stated, denji likes people that like him! so if you give him any kind of special attention, his heart will be beating out of his chest

i feel like he’d also like someone who’s very physically affectionate— all he really wanted for so long was a hug, so if you’re a naturally touchy person, his will melt

not to mention if you’re a little possessive or jealous, it’ll go straight to his head. you’re acting like this?? because of him?? oh, denji is hopelessly in love with you

denji’s a tits kinda man, but i don’t think that’s his defining quality when searching for a s/o. sure, physical appearance would draw him in initially, but what would make him fall is if you have a good heart

ooh i feel like he’d also really like dog people. like, if you pick dogs over cats, he just trusts you immediately

power

i feel like she’d want someone who isn’t exactly what they seem on the surface

like, you seem really quiet and sweet on the surface but you can hold your ground against her

power wants someone who probably has a sharp tongue, like, a really witty s/o would be so fun for her

she’d want someone really playful and energetic, someone that can keep up with her when she’s buzzing from wall to wall

it doesn’t hurt if you have money… and a forgiving nature. she’s gonna steal from you a little bit, but only to take you out on the best and finest dates!

god, she’s a menace, but she wants to be your menace

aki

he’s so calm and composed, i feel like he’d like someone that brings him out of his shell a little bit

i feel like kindness would also be a really big thing for him, like, especially if you have that kind of naive kindness where you hand out bits of your heart to everyone else without expecting anything in return— to aki you’re an angel

he would probably also really like someone that had a fairly normal life, away from all the devil hunting business that consumes him. you’d be his reminder that the world isn’t all bad

he just wants someone he can protect! and if you were to take care of him as well, that would be so perfect for him

he probably likes independence, especially since he’s off on work a lot, and if something happens to him he wouldn’t want you to be absolutely destroyed by his loss— he wants to take care of someone but he doesn’t want someone codependent

makima

makima probably would want somebody codependent, someone that would be bit needy and clingy

i feel like she’s a bit possessive, so she would tend to go for someone that would be incredibly obsessed with her

makima gives off "i can fix them" energy… but incredibly subtly. maaaaaaybe a twinge of mental illness and a lonely childhood would combine into someone really dependent

she’s all about control, so if you would just… let her help you… let her change your life, just give everything over to her & you’ll be so much happier

if you have a good heart, she’ll probably be fairly curious about you. why you think the way you do and how you’re kind to others on instinct

she’d also want someone who’s more on the quiet side, and if you were shy she’d love to make you blush

traditional subby s/o. that’s what makima wants, basically

#makima: exists #me: 👉👈 #chainsaw man #aki hayakawa #chainsaw man headcanons #csm hcs #aki hayakawa x reader #chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader #denji #denji x reader #power x reader #power #makima #makima x reader

[torialefay]

🌕 Moon in Libra ♎️

bangchan as your boyfriend series!!! (pt. 4)

(based on astrology)

✨bangchan x reader (f); fluff & sad chan :(

✨word count: ~3.5k

✨4th part in a series!!! together, let’s take a look into chan’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be!

✨i will give a synopsis of what each chart placement means throughout the series (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect channie in a relationship. head to my masterlist to check out the rest of the series <3

✨ author’s notes:

(1) i am doing brief (just bullet points/highlights) astrological compatibility readings if anyone wants one! if you’re interested, message me your birth date, time, and location OR lmk your placements. i’m gonna limit the reading to include you x 1 skz member only! just specify who you’d like.

(2) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)

(3) there is mention of another fandom in a not so great light. this is purely fictional and no offense was meant by including them. it’s simply for the storyline.

✨warnings: none

✨tldr: chan just wants to be loved.

Moon in Libra:

The Moon represents the deepest parts of yourself, the parts you are usually not even cognizant of. It is the basic energy that resides within you and what you radiate in the most still of situations. Your moon sign usually controls you in ways you aren’t aware of and draws you to certain people that you cannot explain.

• Moon in Libra has a deep NEED for love and beauty in their lives. This can be seen in the deepest parts of them. They are able to see the beauty in every person, and usually can see each person as who they really are instead of the mask they are showing the world. Because of this, he prefers to get to know people well before pursuing them in a relationship.

• Moon in Libra also highlyyyy values balance and peace in their lives. If they suspect that you are bringing drama into their lives in any way, they will most likely (very kindly) cut you out of their life. They will feel bad about it, but they need to protect their peace in order to feel comfortable in the world.

• Because of Libra’s tendency to be people pleasers, they truly seek external validation… they can take criticism very harshly. They do not like the drama and do not want to be involved in a scandal of any kind. It can, in fact, crush them, but they are too self sacrificing to say anything. They just want to make sure that people are pleased with them and they will do whatever they must do to get that.

Chan’s Moon in Libra is also in the 6th house (the house of work, routines, and health)

• Because of this, the balance in his life likely plays a largeeee role in how he performs during the day in work, in carrying out his plans for the day, and in how healthy he is staying.

• His Venus (beauty, love, and sensuality) and Mars (aggression and resolution) are also in the 6th house, meaning that if any aspect of his romance, emotions, or conflict are out of whack, so is he. He simply cannot get his work done or perform well. He is too in his head. That makes him push even harder.

*Important tidbits I learned from analyzing Chan’s natal chart!!! If you take ANYTHING away from this series, please let it be this:*

• Chan has a Libra placement for his Moon (emotions), Sun (personality), and Mercury (communication). This makes him a SUPER LIBRA. He basically identifies with it on another level.

• Here’s the problem: Libras are totally giving of themselves. Completely. They quite literally turn into whoever you want them to be. Because of that, they can really struggle with self image, not only in terms of wanting to be seen in a good light, but most importantly from the perspective of not even knowing themselves.

• Since they don’t have any one SET personality that they present to everyone, they don’t know who they are. Not fully. They may have some idea. They may know that they love people and that they think they are good people, but when it comes down to it, they feel lost.

• So what happens when you have this Libra energy in Sun, Moon, and Mercury? You feel hollow.

• It is very likely that at the end of the day, when all is said and done, Chan feels like the shell of a person. He works so hard for everyone around him, but who is he without that? If he were on his own, and if he didn’t live to please others, who would he be? Nobody. There would be no person underneath the mask. And that scares the fuck out of him.

• He NEEDS to be needed. It isn’t that he likes the attention, but he needs it to survive. Because without it, he is nothing.

—————————————————————

Focusing in now on only the Libra Sun (personality) and Libra Moon (emotions) for Chan:

• As I’ve previously discussed a million times, Libra suns need to be liked. They need harmony and balance, and they feel this through blending fully with others.

• Libra MOONS on the other hand, have a deeper desire. They don’t necessarily want to be loved on what they do, but for who they are and the way they think. Libra moons truly believe that they ARE good people who want to help. Because of this, their harmony and balance instead comes from KNOWING they are good, so they shouldn’t care what other people think of them.

• This manifests in Chan as having this war within himself of caring so much about how other people see him vs. knowing that he shouldn’t give a fuck.

• But at the end of the day, he does give a fuck. And that kills him too.

• So now, not only does he feel hollow on the inside, but he also KNOWS that he cares too deeply about shit that doesn’t even matter. But he can’t. help. it.

• He lives by the mantra “Just enjoy”, because it is something he so badly wants to be able to do.

• He likely manifests this in severe anxiety and not being able to sleep because of it. Throwing himself into work, because who is he if not the producer that his fans know and love? Laughing as much as he can to attempt to fill up the void inside of him.

• He only knows himself in relation to others. The worst thing he could ever experience is being on his own.

• This is likely why he struggled so bad in his trainee days. When everyone else got cut and he was the only one left.

• I’ve heard him explain before that it was a very dark time in his life, and that Stray Kids coming into his life is the only reason he is alive today.

• He is not over-exaggerating. Stray Kids literally gives him life. Without them, he feels like he is nothing.

• He simply cannot exist without them.

—————————————————————————

The last thing that I will add:

• Chan wants SO BADLY to learn how to not give a fuck. He NEEDS someone who can teach him that.

• He NEEDS someone who can show him how to find himself. He NEEEDS someone who will see the parts of him that he cannot see.

• If he can find someone to do this, this person will be his soulmate, I promise you.

As your boyfriend:

• “Hey there, pretty girl.” “You look so beautiful today.” “How did I get to lucky?” Chan tells you these things every day, leaning in to peck your forehead. Words of affirmation are his love language, so he would make sure you got them constantly.

• If you’ve had a long week at work/school, Chan is taking you somewhere beautiful on the weekend. Somewhere that the two of you can enjoy the beauty and the calmness together. Aka, he’s definitely taking you to a giant botanical garden, just to walk around and look at the flowers together. Walking hand in hand, he’d make sure to take breaks occasionally to get a candid photo of how pretty you look with the flowers in the background. You’d wonder off to a tiny side path, taking you to a small fairy garden with lights and a small bench. You would sit, just admiring the lights. Even though you weren’t supposed to, Chan would pick a flower off of the ground next to him and trim it down to just the right length. He’d place it in your hair, resting in the crook of your ear. He’d giggle at how cute you looked. Just like a little garden fairy.

• Chan would adore being your center of attention. He says he doesn’t, but it absolutely makes his heart melt to know that you were thinking about him. Whether it’s a painting, a song, a poem, a muse in any form, his inner self can’t help but to feel so seen.

• He loves it when you obsess over him. No, like actually he loves it. Again, he says he doesn’t, but the way it makes him feel is like none other. The fact that you think that highly of him to pour your entire self into him fills him up with love to the very brim. And he would absolutely be the same with you.

• He LOVES when you ask for his help or his advice. If you ever include the phrase, “I just wanted to know your thoughts because I really value your opinion”, then boom, he’s in love. Feeling needed gives him purpose in life.

• He would adore when you would dress up for him. No occasion, just to look pretty for him. Even though he thinks you’re always beautiful, the fact that you put in extra effort just for him to have something pretty to look at would really make him feel loved. Bonus points if you tried a style or a new item that he talked about really liking.

• If he had a hard day at work and came home to a home-cooked meal and a warm bath waiting on him, he would probably get so excited he wouldn’t even make it to the bathtub, being too busy hugging you.

• Chan is absolutely the type to avoid drama, and especially avoid you having to get involved in any drama at all costs.

• But your boyfriend was no novice to how cruel the online communities could be towards him.

• The week’s newest scandal: that he was saying nasty things about ATEEZ behind their back.

• And damn, did he get a lot of flack.

• What was the proof you may ask?… A tweet. A fucking tweet some random account (that was created 7 hours ago) sent out saying that she had been behind him and heard him saying awful things while on the phone with a friend. As “proof”, she posted the back of a man’s body who had on a black beanie, black hoodie, and black sweatpants.

• You had to give it to her, that was the iconic Channie outfit.

• But what she failed to realize: your man is literally 171 cm… no way in hell is he towering over everyone else like in the picture she posted.

• STAY knew that, but you know how the internet goes. One bad word, and the world is trying to cancel you.

• Well that “you” is now Channie. There’s been an all out fan war between STAY and ATINY to the point that it is now trending worldwide. ATINY trying to trend “#bangchanisoverparty” and damn, it was kinda working.

• When you both saw, you talked to Chan about it. He assured you that he was fine and it was nothing to worry about. He knew who he was and that’s all that mattered. If things got out of hand, JYP would make an official statement saying that it was not him in the photo and they would investigate into the account that posted about it.

• You were so proud of your boyfriend for how much he had overcome to be able to feel that way. You knew he struggled with a lot, and although you were helping him, you were so happy knowing that he was okay.

• Well, until you woke up in the middle of the night to hearing Channie crying softly, lying in the spot next to you.

• You listened quietly, pretending to still be asleep, so you could check on your boyfriend while still allowing him to have his own space.

• Your heart almost shattered as you heard him start to actually sob, reaching his hand up to his mouth in order to stop any sound from coming out.

• Even in his most desperate hour, he didn’t want to wake you. He didn’t want you to know.

• So you just laid there, eyes darting off to focus on the moon, while your back was turned away from him. Listening. Just listening.

• After a couple of minutes, you heard the sobs start to resolve, and deep breaths in began. Good, he was finally starting to feel better.

• You heard the bed sheets rustle a bit as he made the tiniest, slowest movements to reach for his phone on the nightstand.

• You knew that’s what he had to have been reaching for, as you saw a quick, bright flash of light coming in from behind you. You relaxed into the mattress as you heard him typing in his passcode, hopefully to play some light, soothing music to fall asleep to. You didn’t hear anything for the next couple of minutes.

• Content that Chan had successfully cried himself to sleep, you rolled to your other side to curl your body into his. You wanted to feel the warmth of his back pressed up against your chest. To rest your hand at the nape of his neck and hold on for as long as you could.

• To your surprise, your roll over did land you on top of Channie, but a very much awake and very much still on his phone Channie.

• He looked just as startled to see you, dropping his phone down onto his chest. His eyes were red and puffy. The rest of his face followed suit. You hated to see him cry, but you had to admit that he looked like an adorable little fluffball like this, especially with the curly hair all fluffed out from “tossing and turning” you guessed.

• “What are you doing up?” you whispered, playing dumb. You relaxed your hand on top of his chest and heaved your face down into him. You lifted your eyes up to look at his. So beautiful in the silver moon’s light.

• “I thought I heard my phone go off,” he lied.

• “Oh yeah? Who would be calling in the middle of the night?”

• “Minho. He probably went out for a few drinks, I don’t know. I didn’t answer it and was gonna text.” Damn, this boy was gonna do everything in his power to not admit to you that he was just crying.

• “Okay baby, let me know what he says,” you nuzzled into him, ready to watch this shit show of a lie go down.

• You watched as he quickly snatched up his phone, bringing it to rest right in front of his face. Not before you saw what he had actually been doing though.

• He’d been on twitter reading through comments. “#bangchanisoverparty” was pasted into the search bar at the top.

• You felt your heart shrivel up. Why does he do this to himself? Why does he care so much about what other people think about him?

• You sat and stared off, not sure if you should mention anything. You didn’t want to make things worse. But then again, what kind of girlfriend lets her boyfriend lay there and cry himself to death?

• “There,” Chan said, turning his phone off and laying it back on the bedside table. “I texted to see what he needs. Hopefully he replies back soon so I don’t fall back asleep and miss it.” This man is one good ass liar. Kinda scary now that you think about it, but whatever, that’s besides the point.

• “You’re a good friend Channie,” you scooted up to make sure your face was resting into the side of his neck. One arm extended around him to cover him in a light hug, and you just held him there for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, your eyelids got heavy again and you fluttered them closed.

• No more than 10 seconds later, they shot back open. You had felt a singular drop of water hit your face. A tear. He couldn’t lie now.

• You raised up to be above Chan, one hand still over his torso, and the other propping you up on your elbow. There were a few stray tears covering each cheek.

• The one hand moved up his body and slowly wiped at the tears on one side, making his perfect complexion visible once again. You kissed over the area with a touch as gentle as a feather.

• “What’s wrong baby?” you whispered while your head was just over top of his own.

• “Nothing baby, please go back to sleep,” he choked out, letting a light sniffle escape him.

• “I’m not going back to sleep until you talk to me.”

• “Please, y/n. Please just go back to sleep.”

• “No. Talk to me. Why were you on twitter?”

• He looked mortified. He didn’t answer. He just laid there, looking off to the side with an expression on his face like he could start crying again at any moment.

• You relaxed off of your elbow and sunk back into him again. You tangled your hand into his hair and started playing with it. Rolling it around in between your fingers. You started combing your hand through it in tiny strokes. You were learning to relax into the silence.

• You let the whole weight of your hand rest onto his scalp, running down it and to the nape of his neck. You repeated this a few times, hoping that he would get some light tingles over his body and start to perk up.

• You slowly moved your hand to caress the top of his ear, running a finger along the outer rim. Your touch was so slight that he couldn’t tell if he was imagining it, but it did soothe him. He thought about how reminiscent it was of what he would always do- touch his ears to calm himself. You knew this too of course. That’s why you were doing it.

• Chan knew why you were doing it too. You knew him better than he knew himself.

• You continued to stroke along his ear, adding more fingers and more pressure until you were massaging his ear lobe. Pressing your fingers into the skin of the area right behind where his ear met his skull. You massaged a low place here, rubbing small circles with just enough pressure.

• You slowly continued to drag your hand down to his neck, working again now in light strokes to feel all up and down the side and front. So smooth, you thought.

• You followed suit with your lips, pulling them to the area just between his ear and jaw. You planted a slow, low kiss to his most sensitive area.

• You felt the familiar sensation of wetness again. The taste of salt. Of course it had been another tear resting there for you to find and take away. You wished you could take away all the pain.

• You finally moved your hand all the way down to find his. You gave it a small squeeze, and then brought it up to relax over your own situated on his chest right over his heart. You sat in silence, feeling the strong beat inside. Just enjoying the warmth of his body underneath you.

• “You are so perfect,” you kissed his arm, admiring how hard his bicep was.

• All of a sudden, his stillness turned into a sob again. He tried to break his hand away from yours so he could cover up his eyes and the rest of his face.

• “No baby, you let me keep this hand,” you whispered. “It’s okay to cry, but at the end of it, I need you to know how loved you are. How so many people would kill just to see a smile on your face. How you can make a person’s day better just by being in it. How every time I look at you, I think that there must be a god, because how could there be something as perfect as you without a creator to make it?”

• You heard his tears stifle. He let out a weak smile. Your heart reciprocated the gesture.

• “There’s my beautiful boy,” you kissed his temple.

• “Now tell me baby,” you leaned back up to rest your forehead just on top of his, noses almost touching. “Do you think a life so full of love like that is worth crying over?”

• His tiny smile turned into a big one, leaving his bashful dimples on display. He took a moment and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

• He let out a small giggle. “No,” he looked into your eyes.

• “Good answer,” you leaned your face in the tiniest bit to touch a kiss on top of each eyelid. Satisfied, you resigned to your position of curling up next to him, head positioned to fit perfectly to his neck, two hands holding both of his own.

• “I love you,” he murmured.

• “I love you too Channie. And I wasn’t lying, you really are perfect. The last person left to convince is yourself.”

Moon in Libra.

#bang chan #bangchan fluff #bangchan imagines #bangchan scenarios #bangchan x female reader #bangchan x reader #bangchan x you #christopher bang #skz imagines #skz x reader #bangchan stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids #bangchan #bangchan angst #bang chris #skz scenarios #stray kids imagines #bangchan soft thoughts #bangchan drabble #bangchan one shots #bangchan fanfic

[cheriecelestial]

Paper Rings

disclaimer *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ angst (?), canon typical violence, gore (?), crude humour, strong language, typos, grammatical errors, cliché moments

genre *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ drama, romance, action-thriller, fantasy

a/n *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ based on this one dream i had and also cuz pjo was my first comfort series and jjk is my current one (only s1)

╰ ┈➤ Chapter List

╰ ┈➤ Master list

Chapter One

Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.

If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal

life. Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.

If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.But if you recognize yourself in these pages - if you feel something stirring inside - stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

My name is Gojo Kanao . Age fourteen, raised in Tokyo, Japan . As the youngest family member of the Gojo clan , niece of the Gojo Satoru and an aspiring sorcerer - my life was going as perfectly as it rightfully should . Except my uncle got a call from an old family friend three weeks back and before I knew it I were to pack my bags and enroll in a 'summer camp' meant for 'children like me' . And that's really funny because apart from my uncle , I'm pretty much one of a kind . It's not like ever other generation has a six eyes user gifted with limitless. My existence is what most people call an 'anomaly in the power balance of the world' and sparked much debate amongst higher ups but it stopped bothering me after a point considering how uncle Satoru threatens to decimate any person that as much as dared look at me wrongly .

He took me in after my father died when I was four and him eighteen . Following my father's death , the Gojo clan was pretty much reduced to me and uncle since not much was known about my birth mother . The first time my uncle got to know that he, in fact , not only had a sister in law but also a niece from his absentee elder brother was when the fore mentioned "family friend" came knocking to at the Gojo Clan's door with a drooling four year old with white pigtails in tow .

As much as a shock it must've been to know that he was now a single father , uncle or as I call him Satoru nii-san , seemed to have developed a knack for parenting much too quickly with his reasoning being 'the baby looks like mini me and I vibe with that' . And as he liked to say to me and my also-adopted siblings Megumi and Tsumiki Fushiguro "having you kids just adds to my dilf appeal" followed by Megumi deadpanning at him , Tsumiki awkwardly smiling and me audibly gagging. Needless to say , he isn't much liked and not even half as tolerable as he considers himself to be.

"How could you do this to me ?" I mumbled while my eyes trailing the silhouette of the trees passing rapidly by my car windows . Almost inaudible cursing was what my opposition was shamefully reduced to . After much fights , screaming , crying , scratching and attempts at running away I was forced to join this camp . His description of the camp with strawberry fields , flying horses , Greek gods and half goat people was enough for Megumi to call bullshit on it however I couldn't deny its existence because that's where I grew up from birth to age four.

" Nyao-chan , this is the 33rd time you're saying this in the past fifteen hours of flight time . Do better" I could feel nii-san rolling his eyes from the front seat .

" Toru nii don't call me that" I hissed back at him and turned my face with 'hmph' so that maybe , just maybe I could appeal to his conscience. I remember that place and it wasn't particularly unpleasant and under normal circumstances I would really like visiting . However , he simply refused to understand just how it would derail my development as a sorcerer , quoting ' your development as a demigod is just as fundamental to your growth as your development as a sorcerer . Take it as a learning experience. Have fun and for the love of god make some friends that aren't the fushiguros or your pet snake .'

My previous attempt at socialising ended up with the boy calling me a brat and me activating my cursed technique for the first time in attempt to kill him , stunning breakthrough but not a suitable first impression. That meeting ended well for their family and the incident was ruled out as a 'all is well that ends well' . And after that I decided that I had enough and rated the experience 2 stars , do not recommend . 

" I mean looking at how much you like small spaces , scratching and hissing you might as well be one . But hey cheer up ! you're going to see your Chiron sensei and Dino oji-san again . Won't it be fun ? Childhood memories all coming back to you. Plus I've heard summer camps are really fun." He shrugged with his emphasis on the names causing me to cringe inwardly .

" What sort of summer camp runs in November ?" I retorted followed by him sighing . It was much later that I found out that my 'Dino oji-san' was actually Dionysus , the Greek god of wine. I could only imagine the emotions he must've felt holding a toddler in his lap , butchering his name to her convenience. The embarrassment of the memory just made me even more unwilling to go . Our satyr chauffeur said we were fifteen minutes away from camp so of course going back wasn't an option.

Before I knew it , the car came to a screeching halt in the middle of road . There was nothing but an empty road ahead surrounding by dense vegetation on either sides . " What happened ? " I asked leaning forward. The saytr looked at me and blinked . Then I realised I forgot to switch to English while talking . Except for my struggles with dyslexia, English was fairly easy to learn . I credited Satoru nii's obsession of Friends and Britney Spears for this but learning , in general , was something that came naturally to me . I never had to try too hard to learn a skill and it puzzled others and even me . Apparently this was the trait of a true Gojo . Being godly perfect . It applied to everything but my cursed energy technique . Sometime back I realised I reached a plateau of my skills  and no matter what method I employed , my growth remained stagnant . Maybe that's why he's sending me here .

" She meant why did we stop ?" Nii-san asked .

" We're here" The saytr plainly replied . I looked around in confusion because I saw nothing . He asked us to follow him , and with luggage in hand , so we did .

After a small hike through the woods , we reached a big stone arch . It was partially of wood and stone and looked really old with greek symbols carved at the top and several cracks and moss . I stared at the sign and noticed that the letters began to rearrange themselves . At first I thought it was my dyslexia acting up but the Greek symbols rearrange themselves to spell out the letters 'CAMP HALFBLOOD' .

"You look surprised. What do you see Kana ?" He looked at me . I explained my observations and he smirked and muttered something to himself .

I extended my hand and much like how jujutsu curtains worked by hand went passed the barrier emitting a faint blue light . " Nii-san you try it " I gestured him to do the same . The barrier pulsated against his hand as if resisting his touch . With a faint smile , he retracted his hand and said to the saytr " This barrier is stronger than I expected . I'm impressed"

"Nii-san if you were to break through , how long would it take ?" I asked out of curiosity . If you were to ask anyone to describe Gojo Satoru in one word the word would be 'strongest' . Once he put enough effort into it there was no barrier he couldn't break nor there was any curse he couldn't exorcise . " Hmmm it's strong I'll give it that . But we wouldn't want to endanger a camp worth of kids, right ?" I shrugged in a 'makes sense' gesture.

"It's just her from this point on. You can't go inside." The saytr said. Yeah we noticed. Satoru- nii clapped his hands and smiled," Just give us two minutes. You know I need time to see off my precious baby." The saytr blinked and moved out of earshot wordlessly. Satoru nii cupped my face and cooed as if he was on the verge of crying. I rolled my eyes at his dramatic display," you didn't feel any remorse for the last few days and you're crying now ?"

"It's not easy ! I knew I had to let my baby bird out of the nest because that's what's best for you but I -" his bottom lip wobbled and I was hit with a sense of guilt. I sighed and hugged him," I'll miss you too. I'll be fine."

"Call me everyday you hear me ? And eat and sleep well. Oh my god I'm starting to sound like an old woman !" Gojo Satoru was one man who liked to completely disregard the fact that me, Megumi and Tsumiki had mother -albeit absent, and very seriously behave as if he was the one who carried us around for nine months and birth us. But hey, who doesn't like being coddled ?

I rolled my eyes and gave him the signature Gojo smirk," I'll be just fine, don't you worry."

" I know. You'll be fine. Always. You'll be better than me, I know it." Satoru nii-san's voice dropped to a low and almost wistful whisper. " Even though you're the best there is ?" I asked offering him a kind smile. To that he said something in a tone  I didn't expect hearing from him. "You've inherited only my powers , I don't want you to inherit my tragedies too ." The statement left a bad taste in my mouth. People often assumed that since he was the strongest, he had it easy. It’s people like him that suffer the most, so much so that sometimes it has you wishing you didn’t have power at all.

"And lastly. Don't kill anyone, and even if you do. Get rid of witnesses and call nii-san first, Nii-san will take care of it." I raised my brow in questioning. Firstly, shouldn't he be teaching his kid to be nice to other people or something and second of all why is he referring to himself in third person.

"Shouldn't you be saying 'dont bully people and be nice' or something ?" Though what he said wasn't the first of its kind. My brother Megumi had a track record of beating up people in his school but Nii-san never saw a problem because the people he beat up were hardly innocent and he never lost a fight so that was no shame brought to the family name.

"If there's anyone you think shouldn't be alive. Then they shouldn't be. This world is ours, the others are just living in it." One thing that everyone knew what that Gojo Satoru was a firm believer of the Gojo family supremacy. And he's not wrong. "Then what about those sleazy higher-ups ?" I quipped. I knew of his grand plan to demolish the old reign and establish a new jujutsu world, the reason he became a teacher. It was something I looked forward to since the day he showed me the dream of it, but for that I had to get stronger. To become more, to become unstoppable. So I would gladly accept any wisdom the Greeks had to offer and make sure that by the time I’m done here, I’ll be the strongest demigod they’ve had the honour of laying their eyes upon.

“All in due time Kana-chan.”

Taglist: @kentply / @sleepykittycx / @yourpersonalgaybird

#jjk #gojo!oc #percy x reader #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson x oc #jujutsu kaisen #pjo x reader #pjo x jjk #crossover #percy jackon and the olympians

[oatmilk-vampire]

Once Bitten, Twice Shy || Steddie (A/B/O)

Omega!Steve Harrington x Alpha!Eddie Munson

Summary: It's been a year since Steve and Eddie last saw one another. It's been a year since Steve broke Eddie's heart. Now they have to pretend like everything was fine at Christmas with all of their friends.

Based off of the best Christmas song EVER Last Christmas by Wham! Mostly because I've always been stuck on that one particular line I used for my title.

Word count: 4.4k of whump and happy ending.

TW: infertility

A/n: More subtle a/b/o dynamics, can almost be read as a slightly different human au.

Christmas was never special for Steve.

Not in the way it was for the rest of America’s children. One might think Steve had a fantastic holiday with how rich the Harringtons were. That he was spoiled rotten. Maybe he was. He wouldn’t deny having grown up with a literal silver spoon in his mouth, but his Christmases were filled with white lights and fancy dinner parties. Sure he got toys occasionally but not the kind he wanted. Toys his parents insisted would shape him up into a big, strong, proper alpha rather than the play kitchens and baby dolls he so wished for. He also wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa, he was well aware “Santa” was really just the kids’ own parents. He had no reason to be on the nice list because it didn’t exist. He’d get his presents no matter what. Plus why be good if he didn’t get what he actually wanted?

He also got preppy, snobbish clothes that he only just recently started getting away from and breaking into his own style.

His first real Christmas was when he dated Nancy, and each subsequent year only seemed to get better even after they broke up.

Until last Christmas.

After Steve’s parents disowned him for presenting as an omega, he feared his life was over. All his life he was raised to be an alpha, but no matter the rigorous conditioning he underwent you can’t control who you are. He was born this way. He couldn’t change who he was. He hated himself for a while there, thinking he really was as worthless as his parents had led him to believe but that all changed when he got to know Eddie.

Whereas Steve still acted as a fierce protector to the kids (even if it bordered on maternal), he didn’t ever have to be the de facto leader with Eddie. Eddie took it on naturally. Maybe that has to do with him being an alpha.

Unlike all the knothead alphas Steve associated himself with before he presented, Eddie was nothing like them. He was a gentle giant. He took his role as alpha very seriously, yes, but he would never dominate. He would never try to take advantage of any omega, especially Steve.

When everyone thought Steve was going to be an alpha, they all wanted a piece of him. Then when he was outed as an omega by none other than Tommy and Carol, all the alphas wanted a piece of him. They wanted to control the once king of Hawkins High. To mate him. To claim him.

It made Steve sick to think about what would have happened had Eddie not stepped in and effectively repelled all other alphas with his own cinnamon and pine scent that he constantly left all over Steve even if they were just together as friends.

Until they weren’t. After they both finally graduated high school Eddie asked to court Steve, and Steve wholeheartedly agreed. He knew he trusted Eddie with his life. He knew he could trust him with his heart. He loved him.

Loved.

What a strong word. It could mean everything, or nothing all the same depending on who uttered it.

Steve always meant it, and he’s pretty sure Eddie did too… Steve’s not sure when Eddie might have stopped, but he’s pretty sure it probably happened some time last Christmas.

They had been through three separate, unprotected, synced heats and ruts.

After the claiming bite is exchanged heats and cycles sync, after that the success rate of getting an omega pregnant during their heat is nearly unavoidable even with protections and birth control present. If it was unprotected then the omega was sure to fall pregnant.

At least that’s what the brochures taught Steve when he presented. That’s what the brochures taught Steve when he returned to the reproductive specialist. That’s what society taught him.

They all taught him he was, as he always feared, broken.

Because no matter how often Steve and Eddie mated, on their heats and ruts or off, Steve could not get pregnant.

It was virtually unheard of for an omega to face infertility. Infertility only really ran in betas, and even then it only ever affected one in six.

There’s no reason why Steve wasn’t able to give Eddie pups.

The doctors couldn’t even give him a reason or treatment plan to fix his unexplained infertility. He just had to cope with it.

Eddie tried to comfort Steve through it but Steve knew how hard it was on Eddie too. Steve knew Eddie deserved to have a big family of his own one day, little pups running around with messes of dark curls upon their heads.

Steve had hoped he’d be a part of that fantasy. He hoped his six little nuggets would have his eyes and Eddie’s hair, a combination of Steve’s athletic abilities and Eddie’s musical talent.

His dream turned into a never-ending nightmare in the blink of an eye.

As much as Eddie said all he needed was Steve, Steve knew better. He’s seen how Eddie was with Dustin and the rest of the Party. Eddie needed a big family, he deserved to be the good father he never got to have.

Which is why Steve did the unimaginable last Christmas.

It was Steve and Eddie’s first Christmas since learning they couldn’t mate, and Eddie was trying to make it memorable and good for them, a break from all the anguish they had been dealing with for the past few months.

Steve on the other hand gave Eddie the greatest gift of all: Freedom.

Eddie cried, begged, bargained, but Steve wouldn’t have any of it.

If Eddie was any other alpha, Steve knows he wouldn’t have been able to get away with walking out on them after they’d already each exchanged claiming bites. He might even end up dead for messing with an alpha like that, and the sheriffs wouldn’t even bat an eye. Except for maybe Hopper, but still.

But Eddie wasn’t any other alpha. Instead he let Steve go, knowing he wouldn’t force him to stay.

Eddie moved out, his decision, Steve was already leaving him. He wouldn’t make him physically leave their– his home too. Eddie returned to live with Uncle Wayne, the only one who learned of their separation.

They agreed to keep this secret, there was no reason to upset everyone or make them feel like they had to take sides. An alpha and omega separating after exchanging claiming marks was almost as unheard of as omega infertility anyway. They took turns going to events or games or parties, in some sick fashion it’s almost like they had joint custody or something.

When their heats and ruts approached they agreed to spend it with one another since they were still synced and it’s always safer to have a mate than not. Plus it was considerably more disastrous for them to be mated and not spend it with one another. They worked out a system, Eddie would let himself in the night before it was due to start for them and in the morning when it hit they’d sniff each other out and do what biology instructed them to. They could hardly remember the visits anyway. After it was over Eddie would slip back away undetected until the next time.

This Christmas would be the first time they see each other. This Christmas would be the first time they speak face to face. This Christmas would be the first time they had to pretend to be a couple in front of everyone.

Steve hadn’t used suppressants in a very long time but he did today. Eddie’s scent would forever be mingled with his, but that wouldn’t stop everyone from being able to sniff out the soured notes he’d take on due to his discomfort. Only the betas wouldn’t be able to smell his scent, but the young alphas and omegas they cared so much for were loud mouths and would be sure to ask what his problem is.

He wondered if Eddie would do the same.

He guesses he’ll find out soon enough.

He pulls into the Munson trailer driveway, leaving his car running so it’d be warm for Eddie as he approached the door.

Almost immediately after knocking on it it opened. He expects to see Eddie, but instead it’s Uncle Wayne.

Steve instantly feels embarrassed but he doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because he broke his nephew’s heart and forced him to move back in with his uncle at the age of twenty-four.

“Steve, Merry Christmas!” He's just as happy to see him as he was the last time Steve saw him back when he and Eddie were still a happy couple and he hadn’t ruined everything.

“Merry Christmas, Un– Uh, um.” He clears his throat. “Merry Christmas, Mr. Munson.”

The older man shakes his head.

“Please, still call me Wayne. You’re family kid, even if you two are taking a break.”

It’s more than just a break. Steve thinks but nods and puts on a small smile.

“Thank you, Wayne.”

“Please, come in. He should be just a moment longer. You know how he is with his hair.” He rolls his eyes goodnaturedly and Steve can’t help but laugh, Wayne’s friendliness doing wonders at ebbing away at his nerves.

“Well, I’m the same way so I can’t really speak on that.” He touches his perfectly done hair. It’s not as big as he used to wear it, but he still used Faberge Organics and Farrah Fawcett spray.

“You boys, I swear.” He redirects his attention to the kitchen they just entered. “Would you like some eggnog?”

“Oh, is it spiked? I’m driving tonight so I better not…”

“Nonsense. I have both options for you. I’ll get you the regular kind.” He waved off his protests and brought down a glass and retrieved the carton from the fridge.

“Oh, thank you! I appreciate it.” For me? Surely he didn’t mean he actually got both options for me specifically…

“Of course. It’s the least I can do since you’re apparently going to be waiting here ‘til the new year.” He says a little louder so his nephew could hear.

“I’m coming! Jeez. Give a guy a break.” Eddie skids to a stop right in front of Steve and he has to rush to drink his eggnog so his mouth doesn’t do anything stupid like gape or drool or confess his darkest secrets like how he’s still very much in lo-

“Hi.” Eddie addresses him, “Merry Christmas, Stevie. You look handsome as ever.”

Steve suddenly wishes he had taken Wayne up on his original alcoholic ‘nog offer.

“Hi. Thanks, you too. Merry Christmas.” Steve says and definitely does not stutter, nope, not at all.

Eddie was wearing all black, his clothes looked new. Nothing he’d ever seen before and it didn’t even show the faded look black clothes get after just a few washes. Eddie dressed up for this.

He tries to ignore the thought but it comes anyway.

Eddie dressed up for me.

It hasn’t ever really happened before, but Steve feels underdressed in his classic Christmas sweater and Levi’s.

Steve breaths in and realizes he can’t smell Eddie’s scent either.

They stand in silence, lost in each other’s eyes until Uncle Wayne reminds them they had a party to attend to.

“Oh, right. Yeah, of course. We’re just… Running fashionably late.” Steve supplies as he suddenly remembers he left his engine running. “Oh shit. Yeah, we gotta go otherwise I may be out of gas or the battery will be dead or something.”

Eddie cocks his head to the side, “You having car troubles or something? You know I can fix them for you.”

Of course Steve knew Eddie could fix his car, but he wouldn’t have gone to him even if he was having car troubles.

“No, I just left it running so it’d be warm for you.”

Wayne laughs at his confession before pushing them both closer to the door.

“Well you better get a move on then.”

“See you later, Wayne.”

“Yeah see you la—” Steve stops himself, biting his lip before deciding to continue his sentence. He likely would see Wayne later, he did have to drop Eddie back off later anyway.

He clears his throat. “See you later. Merry Christmas.”

Wayne acts like he’s somehow read Steve’s mind, if the look on his face is any indication. “Merry Christmas, son. Real nice seeing you.”

Steve blinked rapidly to control his urge to cry. “You too.”

Steve practically rushes out to his car before he’s slamming his door shut and buckling up as he waits for Eddie to meander over like they had all the time in the world.

“You ran outta there like your ass was on fire.” his ex states as he slides into Steve’s passenger side.

“Just want to make sure we get there.”

“You do?”

“Well, yeah.” He puts his car in reverse before pulling out onto the road. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well you seemed to deliberately try to sabotage your car.”

“I did not. As I said, I was trying to be nice and keep it warm for you. Excuse me for trying not to be a dick, I see that role’s already taken by you.”

Eddie hummed but shook his head, “You’re seriously not bothered about tonight?”

“What about it?” It’s stupid for Steve to ask. Of course he knows what Eddie’s onto.

He’s been dreading it since Halloween.

“About us pretending like everything is okay between us. You don’t think they’ll know? Or at least ask questions?”

“What kind of questions?” Steve really needs to stop doing this to himself. Maybe he’s a masochist.

Eddie shoots him a look like he’s really trying to understand Steve, like he’s trying to look into his soul.

“About why we still don’t have any pups.”

Steve flinches as if Eddie had just hit him rather than state the obvious.

“I don’t know.”

“They’re going to ask.” Eddie insists.

“I know.”

“So what do we say?”

“I don’t know! Jesus, it feels like we’re going in circles here.” His hands tighten on the steering wheel as Eddie sighs.

“They’re not young and dumb anymore. Sure they’re still a little stupid, but they’ll know it’s out of the norm.”

Steve has to stop himself from quirking a smile at that. They were still a little stupid.

“We tell them research shows not every mated couple has pups right away. That there’s a benefit to waiting.” As if they had a choice.

“Will they believe that?”

“You said it yourself, they’re still a little stupid.”

Eddie laughs despite himself, easing the knot coiling in Steve’s stomach.

“What if they insist something’s wrong? They took Sex Ed, you know.”

“Then we tell them our sex life is none of their business. Then I’ll ask them if they want to know how big your–”

“Okay! Okay, you win.” He laughs again, much harder this time. “As much as I enjoy a little flattery, let’s maybe not traumatize them more than they already are.”

“Hey, you asked.”

They drive in silence for the rest of the ride, only looking to one another as they pull up to the bustling house alive with lights and decorations.

Steve hadn’t even put any up this year, and thinking back on it the Munson trailer was pretty lacking too – except for a wreath on the door.

Eddie must be feeling bit more festive that Steve because he quickly pulls on a black santa hat from seemingly nowhere.

Steve worries his lip, too lost in thought to notice Eddie unbuckling and exiting.

Was he going to leave him here?

Steve doesn’t stress for too long, though, because he soon realizes Eddie is only moving around the front to open Steve’s door for him.

“Oh, thank you.” Steve accepts the hand to help him out.

“Sure thing, sweetheart.”

Steve freezes at the term of endearment.

“Eddie,” he warns but Eddie only shakes his head.

“We’ll need to use them once we’re inside, right? I figured it’d be okay while we were outside too.”

Oh. Oh.

Of course it’s okay. Eddie was just playing along with Steve’s plan, after all, he’s the one who left him last Christmas. He’s the one who insisted they pretend like everything was okay.

“Right. Sorry. Just… Sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Steve almost jerks at how earnest Eddie sounds. Not that Eddie hasn’t been serious before, but he just wasn’t expecting this. Not here.

“It’s fine.” Steve mumbles, mentioning how they should head in is just on the tip of his tongue.

“It’s not. I’m sorry. I know last year was rough on us, but I thought we were handling it good. I’m sorry you felt the need to leave but I completely understand. You shouldn’t be with an alpha who can’t even give you pups. I’m sorry I couldn’t be that for you, Stevie. I’m so sorry.”

Steve’s jaw drops. Eddie blinks away tears.

Before Steve can respond, before he can explain to Eddie that he’s got it all wrong, they’re interrupted by the front door opening.

“We’ve been watching you two flirt for five minutes, get inside and save it for the mistletoe!” Nancy shakes her head, curls bouncing all around, as the rest of their friends watch on from behind her or in the windows.

“We were just heading in!” Eddie calls back, big grin plastered on his face but only Steve saw how it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Come on, sweetheart.” he grabs Steve’s hand and pulls him along.

Steve is so fucked.

Luckily, dinner was ready for them when they got there. They’re friends all waiting on them to eat.

Robin eyes the fake couple, “What no surprise?”

“Um,” Steve looks to Eddie for help. “I thought we all agreed no presents?”

Nancy nods her head, “We did. But we thought there’d be a new member of the family by now. You could have at least brought a pie.”

“Oh. Um.”

Eddie scoffs, pulling Steve’s hand with him where he hadn’t let go yet to get away from the ambush.

“Hey, what we do in our spare time is our business not yours. Unless you want to know the details of our last time, Steve had–”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don’t need details. Gross.” Robin scrunches her face up and quickly flees the room.

“Fair enough, come on, let’s eat. I hope you at least brought both of your appetites.” Nancy pats Steve and Eddie both on the back as she guides them to sit.

“Dinner, everyone!”

Steve and Eddie manage to get through their respective plates and even an array of desserts with mostly impersonal questions before Steve is excusing himself as he pushes his chair away from the table.

But to Steve’s misfortune Eddie excuses himself and follows behind him before they’re both being stopped by Robin.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

Steve shifts uncomfortably as he takes in the nine pairs of eager eyes and grins looking up at him. “Um, to the den? Why are you all looking at me like that?”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Dustin points to the little poisonous plant dangling precariously above their heads.

“Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.”

Everyone chimes in, except Nancy who seems to realize something no one else has.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

Steve really wishes Eddie hadn’t chosen to rise from his seat at the same time as him.

They make eye contact before Steve gives him a small nod, giving him the okay.

Eddie leans in capturing Steve’s chapped lips with his own for one chaste kiss.

“Oh, come on! My grandma kisses with more tongue than that.” Mike heckles them and the rest of the teens giggle along.

That doesn’t last long, though, because then Eddie is giving them a death glare making them all shut up.

Steve’s just about to escape when Eddie grabs his arm just light enough to get his attention. If Steve wanted to pull away he could.

“Can I talk to you outside?”

Steve sighs. He knew this was coming. “Yeah.”

“Oooh.” Max starts before they’re all giggling again but Eddie slams the door shut behind them, cutting off the laughter.

Muted colors wash over their faces, casting them in much more festive lights than Steve feels appropriate for this upcoming conversation.

“I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I try to give you space, but I still see you ‘round, you know? The grocery store, when you go for your runs, the mall. I see you. You never see me.”

Steve usually feels like someone’s watching him, but he’s never picked up on Eddie’s scent. He must have worn suppressants. He hid from him.

“Eds,”

“Happy Christmas”

“Happy Christmas?”

“Yeah, I always kinda liked it better than merry. And it’s what it is, you know? Christmas. Happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas. I’m sorry it’s not happier.”

“I’m sorry too. I know we said no presents...”

“Yeah?” 

“I just had to get it for you, I couldn’t bear the thought that you didn’t have something to open. I know your parents are shit and the kids already weren’t doing anything. It’s just me. I had to.”

“Wait, you got me something?” Steve vaguely remembers receiving a package in the mail a week ago that he left buried under the junk mail and bills.

“Yeah, I did. You didn’t get it? I wrapped it up and sent it with–” he sighs, pulling off the black santa hat and running a hand through his hair. “With a note saying ‘I love you.’”

“Eddie,”

“I meant it, y’know? I love you. I meant it when I wrote it, I meant it when we made this whole thing official years ago. I mean it now.”

“What’d you get me?”

Eddie huffs a laugh more at himself than Steve, his face turning a deeper shade of red and Steve knew it wasn’t from the cold.

“A View-Master. But it has pictures of us from over the years. I know, it’s dumb. I just thought you’d see it and remember us.”

“That sound like it was incredibly hard to give me.”

“Oh, it was a bitch. But after I figured out how to get the tiny little pictures in the reel it was smooth sailing from there. The only thing I had to worry about was if you’d throw it out.”

Eddie misinterprets Steve’s silence and continues putting his foot in his mouth.

“Every time you kissed me I was convinced I must be dreaming. That I’d wake up some day and the version of you that loved me would have never existed. Eventually I started believing it but now I know what a fool I’ve been, but if you kissed me now, I know you’d fool me again.”

Steve couldn’t believe the words coming from Eddie’s mouth. He must be dreaming.

But he knows he’d not, because his dreams only ever showed them cuddled in bed in love. Or them with pups of their own. Or Eddie hating him, resenting him because they never separated.

This wasn’t a dream. This was Steve’s own personal nightmare.

He’d have to admit everything. He’d have to confront all of his feelings.

He’d have to deal with Eddie’s feelings, whether they be more heartbreak or the anger Steve’s been anticipating but never received.

“I was always supposed to be an alpha, or at least that’s what I was conditioned to be.” He starts, “When I presented as an omega, my life was shattered. Everything I was told I’d be was suddenly not possible anymore. But then you came into my life and everything made sense. I couldn’t imagine that other life anymore. All I knew was you and you were enough for me. All I wanted was for you to be happy.”

He wipes his palms on his jeans, realizing he forgot to grab his mitts. “Then when we… When I… When we realized… I was broken, you know? I am broken. First I’m not an alpha, but now I can’t even be a good omega? I left because you deserved better. I didn’t leave because I resented or blamed you! Eddie, I love you!” Steve’s mouth clamps shut as soon as the words leave it. There it is. Out in the open. The thing Steve had been trying to deny, the thing Eddie secretly still knew.

“You love me.” It wasn’t a question but Eddie still said it in disbelief.

“I love you.” Steve confirms, “Which is why I left you. I had to set you free.”

“Why?”

“If you love someone, you let them go. So that’s what I did.”

“I think you’re forgetting the very important part where if they come back to you then it’s meant to be. Stevie, I came back to you. So many times. I was practically nipping at your heels begging you to pay attention to me.”

“I forgot that part.”

Eddie’s brushing a curl of hair from Steve’s head, already planning his next words carefully.

“And I’d like to say, maybe if you’d let me, that you’ve come back to me too?”

Steve stepped closer, allowing Eddie to finally, finally wrap his arms around him. “It’s like I never left.”

“Good, because I choose you. Any day. Every day. For the rest of my life. No one could ever replace you, Stevie. I understand the life you want to give me, and trust me I wish i could give you that life too, but you’re who I want. The grass isn’t greener on the otherside. I know what I have here, in my arms, and I’m never letting you go.”

“I love you, Eddie. Thank you for loving me.”

“I love you too, Steve. You don’t have to thank me.” He kisses him with much more passion than he allowed himself just moments ago under the mistletoe.

When they break apart Eddie speaks again, “You can, however, thank me for the show I’m about to put on for those little peeping toms.”

He gestures at the window where heads duck on instinct.

Steve laughs, and Eddie thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s heard in a year, and it’s the best present he could ever receive.

#steve harrington #steve harrington fanfiction #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction #steve harrington fic #eddie munson fic #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fic #steddie fanfiction #a/b/o #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o verse #a/b/o au #omegaverse #alpha eddie munson #alpha!eddie munson #omega steve harrington #omega!steve harrington #last christmas #steddiemas #christmas fic

[spideyharrington]

Guiding Light

summary: based on this request for jealous Theseus. also it wasn’t inspired by the Mumford & Sons song, but it did cross my mind after i wrote the line

warnings: jealous and kinda touchy Theseus, upset Theseus, a moment of arguing / yelling, kinda suggestive ending but definitely nothing explicit

A/N: This was surprisingly trickier than writing jealous Newt somehow. I hope you like it :) also, per usual i did not proofread lol

word count: 1.6k

You and Theseus have both worked in the British Ministry of Magic together for 3 years now. You became quite close quite quickly. You never see each other out of work, however. Then again, you’re really only ever home to sleep.

Recently you’ve been doing a lot of work inside of the office rather than leaving to go on missions. For the most part, that was true for Theseus as well. But when he was away for work and you were stuck in the office, you were slightly miserable. You’d never admit it to his face, but you loved having him around. You loved using his height when you couldn’t reach things (which was often), you loved his stupid jokes, you even loved when he would poke fun at you. Another plus, that you had forgotten about until he was away for a couple of weeks recently, is that whenever he was around none of the other men in the Ministry bothered you unless it was for work. Which meant they really never bothered you since Theseus found a way to be glued to your side everyday.

Now that he’d been gone for some time, one of your fellow aurors decided to start talking to you more. It wasn’t that he was rude by any means, he was sweet actually, you just were too anxious around other people. Especially alone.

He started talking to you everyday at lunch and you started to warm up to him and get used to his presence. It was good for you to get acquainted with people without Theseus to interrupt. And Eli was a great place to start. He seemed to be able to ease your anxiety, much like Theseus was able to. What you hadn’t realized was that Eli had a thing for you. Your head was too focused on Theseus to notice. Even when he was gone for almost 3 weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were eating lunch with Eli when you heard someone clear their throat as there was suddenly a shadow over part of the table. You whipped around to see Theseus leaning against the table behind you, arms crossed per usual.

“Am I interrupting something?” He sounded mildly irritated, but you were far too excited to notice.

“Theseus!” You quickly got up to hug him, and he did not hesitate for a second to hug you tightly back.

“I missed you dove.” He whispered into your hair, but it was loud enough so that the other auror could hear the pet name.

You remembered when he first gave you that name, he said it was perfect for you since you’re the most kind and gentle person he’s ever met (who wasn’t his brother with his magical creatures). You smiled widely and pulled away to keep from touching for a suspicious amount of time. He decided to sit between you and Eli for the remainder of lunch. You didn’t mind, you were just happy he was back. You were starting to get worried.

Everything was normal, in your head, until you felt his hand on your leg after you laughed hard at something Eli had said. You almost choked on your sandwich as you shot him a confused look, your eyes moving between his hand and his eyes.

“Um, I’m gonna head back to my office. See ya later, yeah?” Eli stood up and gathered the remainder of his food.

“Yeah! Of course!” You smiled and waved goodbye to him. You glanced at Theseus and noticed an odd smirk. He seemed proud of himself for something.

“Thees what was that all about?” You raised your eyebrows at him.

“What was all of what about?” He still hadn’t removed his hand.

You pointed at his hand.

“Oh, sorry. I guess I’ve just been away from you too long.” He laughed and moved his hand.

You were still confused but decided it was nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day you were in your office with Theseus when Eli walked in. You saw his smile fade when he noticed Theseus standing next to you.

“Y/N, uh, hi. I was just wondering-“

Theseus unexpectedly put his arm around your shoulders as you stood, smiling at Eli.

“What’s up Eli?”

“Yeah, no nevermind. Sorry I seem to have forgotten.” He nervously laughed and left the room.

“Eli? His name is Elliott.” Theseus removed his arm from around you and furrowed his brows.

“Well I like Eli better. What’s it matter what I call him?”

“You’re being too friendly-“

“I’m being too friendly? Theseus since when has me being kind been an issue? The entire point of calling me dove was because of how ‘kind and gentle’ I am. A direct quote from you by the way.” You moved to stand in front of him so you could try to read his face. He’s always incredibly hard to read. Even to you and Newt.

“He clearly fancies you! And by the looks of it he thinks you fancy him as well.”

“What makes you say th-“

“Oh come on, Y/N! Are you really that stupid? Or are you enjoying leading him on?”

Him calling you stupid hurt, but his implication that you could be capable of enjoying toying with someone’s emotions like that was the real stinger. Your eyes started to water as you turned around to just go home early. His arm shot out to grab your hand in a panic, he didn’t mean to hurt you. It was really the very last thing he was trying to do.

You whipped around, but instead of the wide grin when you looked at him, it was pure anger and confusion, “What has gotten into you?! What happened to the Theseus I know and love?” You yelled out at him, and he visibly looked taken aback at your tone, but he didn’t move a muscle.

“Let me go.” You whispered out angrily. Theseus listened, watching you leave, wishing he could follow you and just tell you everything. He wished he could just run right after you, spin you around, and kiss you. Right there in the middle of the Ministry. But he knew he couldn’t. He may be a war hero, but he knew he couldn’t handle it if you were to reject him. You’ve been his guiding light ever since you first met. When he felt incredibly lost and alone. When he wasn’t even talking to Newt. But he didn’t know which was worse. The idea of losing you because you didn’t feel the same, or losing you because he accidentally pushed you away. Because he hurt you. Merlin, he really couldn’t live with himself if he lost you because he hurt you.

You stomped back into your office a couple minutes later, “I forgot-“ you started to say you forgot your keys in an angry and mildly awkward tone, but were cut off by the site before you. He was leaning against your desk, gripping the edge with his hands as he looked down. Your stomach dropped. You know you’re the one who should be raging and he’s the one that said hurtful things to you, but you’ve never seen him like this.

“…Thees? Are you ok? What happened to you while you were gone?” You asked softly and quietly, slowly walking towards him until you were standing in front of him.

He remained gripping the desk for a moment before he looked into your eyes and shook his head, tears welling up. Your heart started racing from anxiety. You’ve never seen him like this and you really wish you weren’t. You could swear it was literally breaking your heart in two.

You hugged him, it was the only thing you knew to do. He hugged you back so tightly that you thought for a moment that it was a cruel trick for him to be able to strangle you to death. And then you felt the small shakes of him silently crying.

“Theseus talk to me. Are you okay?” You softly rubbed his back in circles as he cried into your shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

“Look, it’s ok. I’m not sure why you’re upset but people say things they don’t mean when they’re upset and it’s-“

“No. No not for that. Well, that too but,” he pulled away to look into your eyes, and to be able to read your reaction, “for acting the way I was. I’m sure Elliott is a swell man, but I…”

“You what, Theseus?” You whispered as your heart began to race for a different reason.

“I’m so sorry if you don’t feel the same but I need to tell you. And if I don’t tell you now, I don’t think I’d ever get it out there. I love you, Y/N. And please, before you respond, I need you to know something else. Before I met you I was disconnected. I felt incredibly lost and I was completely alone at that point in my life. I hadn’t even talked to Newt in months. But then you came along and… And you became this guiding light of sorts for me. I don’t know how else to explain it. Newt is much better with dealing with emotions than I am and I’m sorr-“

“Theseus,” you smiled, “that was an amazing little speech. And I can’t believe you called me stupid for not realizing Eli ‘fancied’ me, while you were right here thinking that I didn’t love you back.” You gave him a playful grin as you looked down at his lips for a moment. And before you knew it, you crashed your lips to his. Both you kissing the other as if your life depended on it. As if you were starving. You were then interrupted by a knock on the door, presumably Eli again, but Theseus pulled out his wand to close the small curtain on your door and to put a chair in front under the handle. You giggled before he kissed you feverishly again. And let’s just say you didn’t get much work done that had to do with the Ministry the rest of the day.

#fantastic beasts #fantastic beasts secrets of dumbledore #theseus scamander #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fbatsod #fbawtft #fbatcog #theseus scamander x reader #theseus scamander x y/n #theseus scamander x you #theseus scamander fluff #theseus scamander request #theseus scamander oneshot #theseus scamander fic #theseus scamander imagine #fantastic beasts fic #fic request #theseus scamander fic request

[runningfrom2am]

all my ghosts - (d.s)

an ‘on the one screen in my town’ oneshot

summary: drew gets cast as the love interest in mason's newest music video.

this is set after 'kinda famous' but before the rest of the plot! this was also a request from @winterrrnight and i cannot disappoint my girl duh

watch the mv i based this on here!

wc: 1.2k

tags/warnings: none!! unedited?? intentional use of lowercase?? also a heads up that i did not come up with this song any of the lyrics or the music video!! all credits go to the original artist and her team (lizzy macalpine!)

requests (currently closed- feel free to send whatever but it will be a while before I get to them!)

nav/masterlists

series masterlist

"do you know who they casted yet?" este asks, brushing back mason's hair away from her eyes to pull it up in to a messy bun for the opening shots.

"no, no clue." mason replies, watching her friend in the mirror and trying to stay as still as possible.

"don't you get to make these decisions?" este laughs, throwing the bun loosely into a scrunchy and reaching for her bobby pins to secure it.

"nope." mason giggles. "but i trust my team. i just said someone who gives kind of a 'boy next door' vibe but in a very relaxed way, who's taller than me, and doesn't look like he's forty."

"jeez, lower your standards." este chuckles, shaking her head. "i'm sure they found the perfect person. it'll be so, so good."

"i'm a little nervous." mason admits. "it's my first single after the last album, after the breakup- i don't want to disappoint anyone. you know?"

"i get it." este nods. "but this song is amazing, the video will do it justice. i know it." she assures her friend, leaning down to get a better look at her hair in the mirror. "i think you're ready! just don't throw your hair around too much. it takes a lot to perfect a messy bun."

mason smiles and turns her head to look at her makeup and hair, grinning in satisfaction. the bags under her eyes were emphasized and her brows darkened, but the rest of the makeup was meant to look very minimal. "i'll be careful." she assures her friend, standing up and stretching out.

"mason! we're ready for you." one of the producers is sticking her head in the door of the trailer, and the star quickly adjusts her costume, sweat shorts and a tank top before following her out, waving goodbye to her best friend who is already getting ready for her next client; mason's costar.

mason goes out and shoots a couple casual shots, walking into the corner store and browsing at a few different aisles and coolers. they don't know what will make the final cut just yet, but they'll gather an array of footage just in case.

"okay, we're going to get you guys together now, just act natural, have a look around and be very casual but definitely make it your own. it'll make it real- but we can always try again." the director says and mason nods, looking past her as the bell on the door rings and they bring in her costar.

mason stands on her top toes to look over the shelves in front of her, and smiles wide when she sees who they had casted. "drew! hi!" she grins, quickly making her way over and dodging cameras and mic's to give him a hug.

"hey, mason." drew smiles, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"oh my god!" she laughs, quickly pulling away. "i didn't even know you auditioned!"

"well, i thought i wouldn't tell you until i got it. it would be embarrassing if i didn't, hey?" drew chuckled. "and then i figured i'd just see you here."

"of course you would get it, are you joking?" mason smiles, hugging him quickly again. "i'm really glad you're here. this will be fun."

"it sounds like it." drew nods, that ever lovely smirk present on his lips.

"basically, we're just fucking around and they're filming it. minimal acting required." mason shrugs as drew slips an arm over her shoulders.

"perfect- let's do this." he nods, quickly pressing a kiss to the side of her head before moving away.

"okay we're ready." the director says, grabbing their attention. "whenever you guys are, just act like we're not here."

"somehow that makes the pressure worse." mason giggles, shaking her head slightly and avoiding eye contact with him now.

"you know all the words, right?" drew asks, a teasing smirk on his face as they walk down the aisle, followed behind and ahead of them by cameras at different angles.

mason gasps, gently shoving him. "how dare you! i wrote every word myself. of course i know them." she giggles.

"okay, well, what's it about?" he asks, grabbing something random off the shelf and turning it over in his hand for just a moment before returning it to its spot.

"you haven't heard it? ouch."

"of course i've heard it. i just want to hear it from you."

"okay," mason nods, continuing to walk beside him slowly as she thinks it over. "it's about falling in love again after being heartbroken, i guess. like, everyone has something that has happened to them in their lives that kind of... haunts them. that they can't let go of, but you can grow around whatever happened and be happy again."

"i see." drew nods. "i get that feeling. it's an amazing song, by the way."

"thank you." mason says, pride evident in her voice along with a slight nod.

it only took a couple of days to shoot the whole thing, most of it just pulling random clips of drew and mason talking and giggling outside of the clips she filmed herself, dancing and singing to the lyrics of her own song.

the last one they filmed together had been the wedding scene, and drew was smiling like an idiot the whole time. the finalized clip only lasted a few seconds, but as he looked her up and down in the white dress, something in him had changed. usually acting to him was no big deal, he could compartmentalize himself from his characters, but this shoot had been entirely different with the producers pushing on them over and over to just 'be themselves'.

"okay! that's a wrap for drew." the producer called as they cut the cameras, the two of them standing face to face at the front of the church.

"thank you so much." mason smiles, reaching around him with the bouquet in hand to give him a hug.

he gladly returned it, gently rubbing her back. "thank you for having me. this was so fun."

"anytime! seriously." mason says, pulling back from the hug after a moment. she's in a bit of a rush to get out of this slightly itchy wedding dress, so she's already stepping down off the small preachers stage.

"hey, wait," drew calls after her, following on her heels as she turns to look at him. "are you free this weekend? to grab lunch or something?"

mason is taken a little by surprise at this, pausing in her step toward the costume tent. "i.. yeah! i would like that. maybe not this weekend, but i'll call you, yeah?"

"okay, yeah. whatever works for you." drew nods, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dress pants.

mason's cheeks are flushed as she looks up at him. "sweet. okay. i've got to get going, but i'll see you soon."

"yeah, see you soon." drew smiles, shifting his weight back onto his heels.

he lets her go, walking the rest of the way down the aisle dressed fully as if she was getting married today. he's quick to lift his hands and rub his palms over his face when he encounters the thought that one day he'd like to see her like this again, be marrying her for real. is he crazy? god, he hopes he isn't crazy.

as she passes off the bouquet to the prop girl, giving her a polite and grateful smile, drew knows he can't wait to see mason again. whatever that may take.

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie, @whore-4-drewstarkey, @slut4drudy, @winterrrnight, @totalswag, @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron, @urfaveluvr, @alimaythings, @chenslucy, @s-we-e-t-t-ea, @tahliac11, @saccharinesammie, @suzyheartsrafe, @maybankslover, @redhead1180, @lovelyxtommy, @thelomlisrafecameron, @realwifeofjackharlow

#obx fanfic #outer banks #obx #drew starkey fanfic #drew starkey #drew starkey fanfiction #drew starkey imagine

[neonacity]

Blood Red [Full Cut] | Ch.1 | Haechan x Reader

Summary: You're a forensic psychiatrist assigned to one of the country's high-profile criminals. You want to unravel him, but he's set on catching you in his web instead.

Characters: Haechan, Reader, Jungwoo

Warnings: crimes, blood, weapons, toxic dynamics, psychological themes, personality disorder, mental health disorder, dissociative identity disorder, possible smut [there is no smut yet for this chapter but the theme of the story is heavy. Please, please, please, do not interact if you are a minor]. This work is not meant to romanticize any personality disorders or toxic dynamics. Also, I am not a trained psychologist or medical professional so there might be inconsistencies on some of the scientific things here. Most medical references mentioned, however, are based on a book that I’ve always loved way way back, “The Minds of Billy Milligan” which is based on a true story. This is a work of fiction and I am not implying any likeness between the characterization here of the boys to their real life counterparts. I also reserve the rights to all my work—I do not post anywhere else other than tumblr.

A/N: Hi! I was thinking of a celebratory post for hitting 1k followers recently and decided to turn the teaser I shared into a mini fic. It was originally meant to be a one shot but since I cannot keep my word when it comes to my fics as usual, here I am putting out again a perfect example of my lack of self control. Thank you to everyone who has showed interest on Blood Red and I hope you enjoy! 

The creaking sound of the rusty metal door made you look up from the files you were trying to read. None of the words typed there made sense to you, but still you put up the perfect facade of focus and detachment as your eyes met the trio that loomed in the threshold of the room's entrance. Two burly guards—no less than six feet in height—crowded the door, the taser and guns on their sides bulking up their already thick frames. They looked like sentinels shipped straight from alcatraz with their intimidating figures, and yet it was not them that piqued your interest the most. Subtly, your dark eyes moved a little lower, the shadow flickering behind them only partly covered by the gleam of your glasses.

Your gaze was met by the equally intense stare of the boy in the middle of the small party, a young man in his early twenties with a shocking head of bright red hair. His locks were messy, with some falling over his eyes, but even that couldn't disguise the way he looked at you—calm, but with a chilling edge only those trained on your job can blatantly notice. You looked at him steadily, your face never changing, even as his gaze bore on you from a distance. He seemed to be deep in thought too like he was trying to read you off, but finally, the tips of his lips quirked into a knowing smile that made goosebumps rise at the back of your neck.

"You have 15 minutes. Do anything stupid and we'll fry your brain."

You watched as one of the guards roughly pushed the boy into the room before hauling back the heavy metal door closed behind them. It took you everything not to flinch as it slammed shut, the sound echoing around the quarters like a threat. You stared at it momentarily, your heartbeat hard against your throat.

"Such ugly brutes, aren't they? Their visuals fit this hellish place."

The lilting, teasing tone made you snap your attention back to the boy who was still standing in the middle of the room. The interview cell only had a grainy yellow light illuminating the place and it threw stark shadows now to the rest of his lithe frame. His features are unexpectedly soft—almost pretty—but the way he smiled and drank you in gave him a wildish edge that teased the edges of your flight and fight response. As a seasoned forensic psychologist who has built a career in profiling some of the most dangerous criminals, you know exactly of his type.

A mastermind predator. The worst of his kind.

"Please take a seat. Lee Haechan, am I right?"

Something changed in the light of his eyes as you called out his name. It was quick, but you caught it anyway before he moved towards the chair across from you. For the first time, you noticed the black choker just peeking underneath the collar of his overalls, a green light beeping faintly on a rectangular piece of metal fixed there. You took it in quietly despite the chill that it brought to your veins. Shock collars. So that's what the guards have been talking about earlier.

"I like your lipstick."

His voice sounded casual when he spoke again, but it was enough for you to straighten your back in slight tension. His hooded eyes were on your lips, and he deliberately smirked before he raised his gaze to meet yours. He subtly ran his tongue over his lower lip as he seemed to try to keep his smile from widening.

"It's the color of blood."

"Do you like blood?" You asked, grateful for the steady voice that came out of you.

"I'm not particularly against it."

"Is that why you committed three arson cases, four bombings, and ten mass cyanide crimes across the city?"

His brows raised, impressed.

"You know my dating profile. That's very sweet of you."

"Answer the question, please."

He laughed.

"Princess, none of those drew any blood, but if you're asking that question to confirm my love for violence, then yes, I did them all."

A slow but measured breath slowly left you. When his case was turned over to you for handling, you've already drawn a specific image of him in your head. Manic, crazy, and reckless—serial, high-profile offenders like him usually fall in those kinds of buckets. The boy in front of you now is the exact opposite of what you were expecting, calm, measured, and a hundred percent aware of his actions. What he has is a specific kind of madness, the worst of what you know of.

He knows what you are trying to do, and you know you need to change your tactic if you want to break through his cracks.

"You sound so confident of the crimes you've done," you said slowly as you flipped through his file. You stopped at the last page which contains the record of his last court hearing.

"Very strange, especially since you gave an insanity plea to the courts," your eyes deliberately met him now to see his reaction. Slowly, you leaned closer to the table, palms flat on the cold metal surface.  "Tell me, Haechan, is that just a part of your act? Because you had a lot of people pretty much convinced, with them sending me here and all."

Silence settled in the stale air between you, thick and tense. He looked at you blankly, before his gaze momentarily slipped again to your blood red lips.

"The insanity plea was not a lie. At least that's what Haechan thinks," he said slowly, humor lacing his voice. His smile widened as his eyes trailed up your face and the way his expression changed made a chill run down your spine. If not for your sheer training, you wouldn't have had it in you to ask your next question.

"What do you mean—"

"He is right. He is insane. Crazily fucked up, if I must say. But that's just him, that poor boy whose name you've been calling me with."

Your jaw slacked as his words sank in. This couldn't be what you were thinking. When the federal office called you in, you thought you would simply meet another mentally unhinged convict. You were about to speak through the lump in your throat when he also leaned over, his face now only inches from yours.

"But I'm different. I'm the sane one. And my name…"

"Is Lee Donghyuck."

*******

"Dissociative Identity Disorder? Are you serious right now?"

Jungwoo did a full 180 in his swivel chair just so he could give you his most incredulous stare. You raised your brows at him to give him a pointed look before sighing and throwing your hands in the air. To be honest, you can't really blame your partner for acting like you've said something crazy, because it sounds unbelievable even to your own ears. 

"Don't look at me like that. I know it sounds mad, but all signs lead to it. I wasn't just called by the feds to profile him, they wanted me to diagnose him."

"And your diagnosis… is dissociative identity disorder."

You threw the man a slightly irritated look as he rubbed the incredulity of your hypothesis into your face. He's a dear, dear friend of yours, but he's also a detective, and people like him look at hard facts and evidence over anything else. As a psychologist, you are also expected to do the same, but there are also matters of the human mind that can blur into gray areas when it comes to your profession. The case of Lee Haechan, is one of those.

"Yes. Based on his symptoms and actions, that is exactly what he has."

"So you're saying that the boy… has multiple personalities inside of him?"

"Two to be exact. Haechan is the host or the de facto personality that takes consciousness. Then you have Donghyuck—"

"...who is the criminal," Jungwoo finished with a questioning but pointed lilt to his voice.

You winced slightly. "I doubt any of them is entirely innocent, but yes, Donghyuck would be the more aggressive one, or at least the mastermind of the majority of the crimes 'they' have committed."

"How do you know this?"

"Because he has confessed. To every single one of them. After my first interview with him, I was told that he gave statements again about every crime he has done, except that he is claiming them as Donghyuck."

Jungwoo didn't say anything at first. He simply stared at you, still looking unsold with what you were saying. Finally, he sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Look babe, I want to believe you. But what if… he's just a really good actor?"

At that, you tapped your pen against the edge of your table before reaching out for something on your desk. You passed the two black films over to Jungwoo who wordlessly took them with a slightly confused look on his face.

"These are…"

"Brain scans. If you take a look there, different regions of both images are showing various levels of frequencies. Our brains are divided into different lobes—some are for emotions and the others for memories and consciousness. Our personal experiences fire up different networks in our head, which means one brain map is highly unlikely to be the same with another. It's like fingerprints."

"Okay… and so what does this exactly—"

"The scans you are holding right now are both from the 'same' person."

You entirely caught the way Jungwoo froze in his seat as your words hit him. He looked on, petrified, at the films he was holding, and you took on his shocked silence before continuing on.

"One was taken while Haechan was the one holding consciousness and the other when Donghyuck took over. Jungwoo, I've worked with narcissists… psychopaths, serial killers. A person simply cannot just change their own brain waves regardless of how good of an actor they are."

Your partner was stumped. He finally trained his eyes on you, the confusion in his features even more evident now.

"How—so you mean to say, there really are two people in that one body? How is that even biologically possible?"

You sighed and ran a frustrated hand through your locks. As much as you hated to admit it, even someone with your profession can't really explain or defend this fully. The truth is that dissociative identity disorders are one of the most controversial topics in psychological practice, mainly because they are easy to misdiagnose. Even now, the practicing community is divided about it. Hell, you don't even know which side you stand on yourself.

"It might not be. There is a lot of controversy about these kinds of cases because it's also possible that a person might just be suffering from other personality disorders like schizophrenia. But then again, those brain scans… I wouldn't know how to explain that other than to say that yes, there might be two identities sharing one body alone."

"So that is why he made an insanity plea. Is this even a thing?" Jungwoo asked.

"It's been done before. There have been previous records of convicts using it as an excuse to go the easy way out, you know, just get holed up in psychiatric wards instead of being sentenced to prison, but there were also special cases that made the cut. One example is this guy called Billy Millgan, the first man who was found not guilty because of this disorder. He had 25 different personalities."

The man in front of you was speechless. For a couple of seconds, he simply looked at you before he finally made a subtle shake of his head. You winced. He looked like he was genuinely worried over you.

"Look, I hate to say this, but I'm so glad I don't have your job. I'd say try to get this done and over with as soon as possible. I'm no psychologist… but I have a really bad feeling about this."

You didn't say anything. You couldn't, because as much as you hate to admit it, you have the same feel churning in your gut right now. Silently, you took the scans Jungwoo handed back to you, your eyes landing on the patterns there. He's right… the sooner you get this done and over with, the better. Just do what you need to do, then walk away...

...Before you even stumble head first into a trap. 

******* "Don't touch me!"

The terrified, high-pitched voice of someone made you sit up straight on your plastic stool. You were in a padded room with only the bare essentials, the space looking like a complete contrast to the icky dungeon-like quarters you were first led to. Outside, the walls looked equally sterile, as if you were in the deepest belly of a hospital instead of being in a correctional facility.

You trained your ears harder now as you tried to pick up more sounds outside. You could hear grunts and whimpering, followed by shuffling as if someone was being forcefully dragged. It was making you highly uncomfortable, so you pushed back from the table and stood up to check the situation yourself. Your hand was just inches from the door handle when it suddenly burst open and a blur of white hurtled straight into your arms.

You barely had the wits to catch the shaking form of a boy pushed towards you. Startled, your eyes snapped towards the entrance where you saw three men wearing white scrubs crowding the threshold. Compared to the prison guards you first brushed elbows with, these ones definitely look less suited for fighting. However, you still felt a heavy feeling sink into your stomach when one of them stepped a little closer past the door, a syringe in his hand. He was about to fully cross the distance towards you when you put your hand up out of instinct.

"Stop. Is that a sedative?"

The man paused at your unexpected intrusion. Against you, the boy you were still trying to hold up started shaking so hard you thought you two would actually fall down. His face was buried on the crook of your neck and you could feel his heavy breathing wash your collarbone with warmth.

"It is. He needs it for his session with you. He's having a manic episode."

Your lips pursed into a thin line. You couldn't really see the boy's face with the way he is clinging on you, but you did feel his arms go around your waist and pull you closer. The nurse saw the action and was about to make another step when you stopped him again.

"I don't think that’s it. He's just scared."

"But miss—"

"That's doctor for you. It's fine. He's under my watch right now. Besides, I don't want any of my patients drugged during my interviews."

"He can be dangerous," the man reasoned, his eyes falling momentarily on the still shaking boy. You didn't immediately reply to that, knowing perfectly well that it can be true. Instead, you held your palm up and reached it out to him instead.

"Give me the syringe then."

"What—"

"Give it to me. I'll be the one to use it on him personally once I'm sure he needs it."

The man clenched his jaw. Beside him, his colleagues also exchanged doubtful looks, though none of them really said a thing. Finally, the nurse handed over the shot and took a step back.

"Emergency button is under your the table. Press it when you need help," he said before finally turning on his heels. You silently watched them leave the room until they sealed the door shut behind them.

It took a while before you finally decided to turn your full attention to the boy still pressed up against you. He still seemed so high-strung that you had to carefully raise a hand to touch his arm, but he motion only made him tense up more.

"Hey, it's okay. They're gone. You're safe."

He seemed partly unconvinced by your words, but he managed to peel himself away from you after a moment. Red locks covered his eyes which are shining now with a mixture of both fear and panic. You realized how tall he is this close, and yet the look on his face made him seem smaller and frailer than he is. Slowly, he let go of his hold on your waist, though he didn’t really move a muscle past that. 

"We should… go and sit."

You motioned towards the table set-up with your hand that was still holding the syringe. The movement made him look at it, a gesture you immediately caught so you made a pointed move to slip it into the pocket of your coat. He was watching you closely, and you knew you had to be careful with your every move if you wanted to gain his trust. When it looked like he had no plans of moving, you took the lead and settled on your seat, waiting for him to do the same.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to talk."

Your words seemed to have triggered something in him. He blinked, before finally making a measured step towards his designated spot. You didn’t miss the way he left a little bit of distance between himself and the table when he finally sat down. Everything about his body language says that he isn’t entirely comfortable yet, and that he is ready to flee at any given moment. You even tried meeting his gaze, but he made sure to keep his head down as if he was set on avoiding you as much as possible.

"Haechan… Am I right?"

Your soft voice calling out his name made him lose his front. His eyes snapped up to meet yours, big and mildly surprised. In that moment, you realized just how much one's aura can change someone's physical pull. He looks like the same boy you met almost a week ago, and yet he seems like an entirely different person altogether. While Donghyuck is cocky and calm, Haechan is scared and unsure, like a wounded animal always on the verge of curling in on himself. His face is more expressive, especially his big brown eyes that just can't seem to hide all the emotions churning inside of him. You realized it was the reason why he didn't want to look at you—because he can't hide anything at all.

"Are you going to use the injection on me?"

The sound of his voice made you pause for a bit. It was an odd experience hearing him speak now, because despite it being the same as the first boy you met, his notes are also softer and almost higher in pitch. Even the way his tongue rolled over his words are different. You held his gaze steadily before you answered.

"No. Unless you hurt me. Do you want to hurt me, Haechan?"

A look of horror and slight disgust creased his features.

"N-no! I can never hurt someone…"

"Then there is no need to be worried. I just want to talk to you… You can relax," you said with a softer tone, your lips lifting at the corners to a small smile. It was probably the last reaction that the boy was expecting, because you saw exactly how shock settled on his features before heat climbed to his cheeks. His eyes dipped quickly towards your lips, but he was soon enough turning his gaze away as he tried to get his bearings. You took that as your window to ease in.

"I never expected I could talk to you so soon. Donghyuck seems to be very protective of you."

Your first question made him lose his focus again in a snap. He glanced at you, silent disbelief and a hint of hope evident on his face.

"You… believe in Donghyuck?"

You paused before answering. While this is the first case of dissociative identity disorder that you've handled, you're also already familiar with its sensitivities. One of the 'blockages' that keep patients from being treated is when they are made to feel like their other personalities are a lie. They need someone to trust… because only then can you get inside their head.

"I believe that you are not lying. If you think Donghyuck exists, then he is as real as you are."

He was speechless. You uncrossed and crossed your legs now under the table and let your hands rest in front of you loosely. You kept eye contact with him, your gaze open but inquiring.

"Can you tell me more about him, Haechan? Anything that you feel comfortable sharing with me."

Silence. One second passed. Three. Five.

"He… protects me."

"Protects you… from what?"

His jaw tightened in answer.

"From getting hurt."

Now it was your time to stall. Most people with dissociative identity disorder suffered from severe trauma from their past—usually in childhood—when their minds are not yet fully developed to process certain experiences. These events usually causes the personality to 'splinter' and create other internal identities that are better suited to deal with difficult situations.

"How does he protect you?"

"He… takes care of people… before they can even touch me. But I don't know what exactly he does. Most of the time when he—takes over, he puts me to sleep."

The shadow of a frown danced through your face for a second. So that's the reason behind the insanity plea. Haechan probably wasn't even aware of the horrors his other self has done.

"Haechan… Do you remember the first time you let Donghyuck take over? How old were you then?"

The boy's face scrunched up as if he was deep in thought. You noticed how his fingers started to fidget more, tangling and untangling over each other.

"I was… six years old. My step dad came home drunk like usual. My mom wasn't there—he would usually beat her up so he came to my room instead," he paused as if talking had become too hard on him. You kept silent, watching him closely.

"It wasn't the first time. He had hit me before, but he had only used his hands. That day was different though. He was holding a bottle and his eyes… I remember they were so red. I was—very scared. The last thing I remember was that he was approaching my bed and then I blacked out. The next time I woke up was two days after… and my step dad was gone."

You processed that slowly… deliberately. Your palms have gone cold, but your facial expressions, thankfully, remained collected on the outside.

"When you say gone, what do you mean?"

"I don't really know what happened to him. My mom said he just left. We never heard from him again after that."

"And you believe that was the first time Donghyuck came to existence? Why?"

Haechan frowned at his hands in answer. "Because he told me. My mom—she dated a lot of guys. All of them were not nice. Donghyuck first 'talked' to me when my mom started living with a new man after my step dad. He told me to leave and run away."

"What do you mean he talked to you? How does he talk to you?"

He lifted a finger and pointed briefly at his temple.

"Here. I can hear his voice. Sometimes, I can also talk to him by withdrawing inside of my head. At those moments, I can see him."

Your head was spinning. You picked up your pen but simply squeezed it gently between your fingers.

"How does Donghyuck look?"

"He… looks just like me."

"How old are you, Haechan?"

"Twenty-two."

"And how old is Donghyuck?"

He paused. You could feel your heartbeat beating hard against your throat.

"Twenty-seven…"

You let out a slow breath. Your mind's eye flashed the brain scans again and the unnatural patterns between them. You already had a hint about the reason behind the irregularities there, but it's only now when you pieced everything together. Donghyuck's brain scan was not entirely abnormal, but it showed different areas that are more developed than Haechan's—parts that can be more prominent due to age, experience, and memory. It was why they look like they came from different people; because technically, they did.

"Does Donghyuck regularly come out?" You asked steadily even though your head was reeling. There were so many things you needed to process, but you tried to keep them at bay to hold your front.

"…No, at least before. I used to always be the one in control, but something changed when I turned eighteen. I started noticing that I would have memory gaps and would wake up days later in a different place and time. He would always tell me though that he just did something to protect me; and I would believe him, because I would be safe every time I would step again into the spotlight."

"The spotlight?"

He gave a timid nod. "It's what we call it every time we switch. When I'm the one to hold consciousness, I stand in the spotlight. It's like… a place inside our head. He steps into it when he wants to take over."

You thought over that slowly. Usually, patients with his condition have this mechanism—a process that enables the switch. What you need to figure out right now, however, is the trigger for it.

"Are you… aware of what Donghyuck has done, Haechan?"

The moment you asked that question, it's as if the air in the room physically shifted. His expression, already fragile moments ago, completely morphed into full-on fear. His pupils shook and his fumbling fingers locked together. One look at him and you got your answer:

He doesn't know. He was in the dark about everything. The crimes, the fires, the deaths. He knew nothing of it.

"N-no. I don't want to hear it!"

You were taken aback by the sudden pitch of his voice. It was obvious that he was agitated, if not on the verge of a panic attack. Unconsciously, your hand dropped to the underside of the table where the panic button is.

"It's okay. We don’t need to talk about it..." you said carefully to try and calm him down. He didn't seem to hear it though, his hand flying to grab his hair instead.

"The police, they said that I hurt so many people. They read this long list of—of bad things but I didn't know any of them. I didn't do any of them!"

"Haechan... calm down—"

Your heart almost burst through your chest when he suddenly leaned over and grabbed for your hand that was still settled on the table. His fingers circled around your wrist tightly but you were too shocked to even wince from the pain. Instead, any sound that wanted to slip out of you got stuck in your throat when his eyes clashed with yours. They were so wide with fear and confusion that it almost broke something inside of you.

"Noona, you don't believe them do you? I didn't do any of it. They said I killed—"

"You didn't. Donghyuck did. You're not him."

You didn't know where the words came from but they were already out before you could even think them through. The moment you said it, the two of you froze, eyes locked with each other. Haechan reflected surprise for what you just said… yours, disbelief for your course of action. The air was so thick, you could barely breathe.

The panic button. Press it.

No.

Press it. He's dangerous.

He's not!

"Do you… believe me?"

His voice was back to normal when he finally broke the silence with his whisper. Not trusting your voice yet, you simply gave him a shaky nod in answer. Silence stretched again between the two of you until finally, he let you go.

"T-thank you… I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to scare you."

You scrambled to collect your wits without entirely cracking on the surface. Your hand that was under the table dropped to your purse on the chair next to you and immediately circled around the closest thing it could reach inside of it. You squeezed the cold surface of something small in an effort to steady yourself, and you realized, with detached irony, that it's your lipstick bullet you had in your grasp.

"Don't worry about it," you said, when you were finally confident enough to speak again without your voice breaking. Haechan looked at you guiltily, but didn't say anything else. Every fiber of you was screaming for you to pack up and leave, but you also knew you had to get one foot in—and that this is the best time to do it. 

"Listen... Haechan. If you want to prove that you're innocent, you have to work with me. That's why I'm here. So we could understand… and you could get better."

He didn't immediately give an answer. You took his silence as a chance to break through him more.

"Can you do that? Work with me?"

His eyes finally flickered towards you before looking away again.

"Yes… Donghyuck said we can trust you."

You swallowed.

"Can we, noona…?" Haechan asked, his face open and searching. "Can we trust you?"

Only seconds ticked by, but the pause that followed seemed like it lasted more. Haechan held your gaze and you kept it, the two of you both taking the chance to read off whatever it is that you can’t say at the moment. Despite yourself, you managed to let go of your grasp on your lipstick and used the hand to reach out to him instead. You were only planning to let it rest there, but the warmth of his skin made you circle your fingers around his instead. His eyes never left yours, searching your face as he waited for your next words. When his nails gently pushed back against your wrist again, you finally managed to whisper.

"Yes. You can."

*******

A/N: Blame red hair Haechan for  this, I guess. 

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Story Taglist: @tyongf-sunflower99​

#yandere haechan #haechan yandere #nct yandere #yandere nct #haechan smut #haechan x reader #haechan fic #haechan x reader insert #nct imagines #nct fic #nct au #nct dream fic #lee haechan

[39oa]

nhl x f1 fandom survey results

hello there! about two months ago, @andreisvechnikov and i posted a form meant to gather data from fans on tumblr of both f1 and the nhl so we could take a look at demographics, trends, and then subsequently share interesting corresponding insights.

in total, our form received n = 102 responses — honestly not that great of a sample size for stratifying data by teams when considering that there are 32 nhl teams and 10 f1 teams, so a lot of findings come with a large caveat, but hopefully this post will be interesting to you anyway! (of note is also that all of this data was collected before the nhl regular season began, so hopefully we can rerun this experiment sometime next year when the seasons are running concurrently and see how results have changed then.)

unrelated to our survey, @sergeifyodorov also polled hockey fans on their favorite teams a while back; his results will be referenced as well throughout this post! he was extremely kind and generous enough to send over his data so that we could play around with it on our own, so thank you again for that!!! one last time, please note that our results are not easily comparable because of different sample sizes and team/blog reach (for example: the leafs were heavily underrepresented in our data, but i'm pretty sure it's because the form simply never made its way to that corner of hockeyblr and not because leafs fans are statistically less likely to enjoy f1 LOL...)

without further ado:

DEMOGRAPHICS

"Where do you currently live?" + "How old are you?"

out of 102 participants, an overwhelming amount — 85.3% — live in north/central america or europe, and most respondents were also between the ages of 18-25. since the nhl is based in north america and f1 teams are (mostly) based in europe, i was curious to see how fandom trends varied across these two demographics specifically.

EUROPE VS. AMERICA

"Do you consider yourself more of an F1 or hockey fan?"

interestingly enough, 2 in 3 of the european respondents said that they like or follow hockey more, with only 15.15% preferring f1. asian and north/central american fans were a little more evenly split, with 38.9% north/central american fans saying they liked f1 and hockey about the same. however, altogether 89.2% of global respondents said that they prefer hockey OR that they like both sports about the same, so it seems that fans in our survey skew more toward hockey in general.

"Do you follow any top-division hockey leagues outside of North America?"

again, since f1 is primarily based in europe and since europe boasts a huge hockey market outside of the nhl, this question was aimed at understanding interest in other top-division hockey leagues outside of north america. more specifically — not anything like the ahl or ncaa but instead leagues like the shl and liiga.

the majority of the respondents who said they followed top-division hockey outside of north america were, unsurprisingly, based in europe, with over half (54.5%) claiming to follow other leagues and 1 in 4 (24.2%) preferring these to north american hockey.

as for north/central american respondents, a large majority — 85.2% — claimed to not follow any leagues outside of north america. here were the leagues mentioned at least twice:

"Do you follow professional leagues for any of these following sports?"

for this question, we gave several multiple-option choices of obvious sports and also allowed respondents to submit their own answers if we missed any. here were the most-commonly followed professional sports outside of f1 and the nhl, filtered to at least 2 responses:

interestingly, football and baseball were on par at 26.5% — or about 1 in 4 — each, although the most common response was actually none; 37.3% of respondents said they only watch hockey and motorsports for professional sports. the sports that received one vote each were: volleyball, tour de france, swimming, pro wrestling, gymnastics, figure skating, cycling, climbing, and australian rules football.

TEAM POPULARITY

NHL STATS

"What is your favorite NHL team?" + "If you like multiple NHL teams, feel free to name any others below." (&lt;;- capped at 3)

in order to rank each team — despite different voting methodology and sample sizes from both surveys — i normalized a popularity score based on a weighted value, composed of how many people voted for it as their favorite team and then how many people mentioned it in the "other teams i like" question. each team was then graded relative to the top team, in our case dallas and in cody's case pittsburgh.

in the table below, the numbers in purple correspond to our survey and the numbers in grey show cody's results as reference. as you can see, toronto is very underrepresented in our data, while dallas is considerably more popular and tops the chart. 3rd-place vancouver was also our most commonly mentioned "other" team with 19 votes, despite only being 6 people's favorite team.

does this mean that fans of both f1 and hockey are statistically more likely to enjoy dallas than your average hockey fan? or does it just mean that i'm primarily a dallas stars blog and this was the audience i accidentally reached when sharing my survey? (most likely the second) the world may never know!!!

another way of looking at the popularity differences across both surveys is with a little scatter plot. same data, just different presentation!

F1 STATS

"What is your favorite F1 team?" + "If you like multiple F1 teams, feel free to name any others below."

not much that needs to be explained here — mercedes and ferrari were far and away the favorites, but red bull and mclaren were also fairly popular! the least popular team of all was haas, with only one person mentioning it as a team they liked and no one voting for it as their favorite team.

interestingly enough, 1 in 3 (34) of respondents said that they had no favorite team at all, with this response scoring higher than any single team (mercedes only had 21 "favorite" votes, although it had 36 total responses). this was a large contrast to the nhl results, where only 6 people answered none for their favorite hockey team — meaning that 94.11% of respondents claimed a favorite nhl team!

(perhaps this means that f1 fans are less likely to be loyal to a team and instead prefer to follow drivers' individual careers, or that team allegiances are simply stronger in hockey fandom. or maybe not! who knows.)

something else i was curious to see concerning the most popular teams was another location distribution, although this time i didn't want to simply calculate percentages straight-up since we already know that the global distribution skews mainly toward north/central america and europe. because of this, i filtered only teams that had n >= 10 votes and calculated the difference for each percentage from the global average, so i could see which teams were more biased toward a location than "expected."

for f1: ferrari, mclaren, and red bull all had slightly higher american interest than average, with red bull especially skewing lower on the european side.

for hockey: dallas had higher than average interest in oceania, with pittsburgh scoring higher in asia and seattle being especially strong in north/central america (and thus less so in europe). toronto, carolina, and florida also had higher support in europe.

(note again that these are very small sample numbers, especially for teams with less than 20 votes!)

+ just for fun, here's how the top 4 other sports (football, baseball, american football, and basketball) skewed location-wise.

probably not much of a surprise here, although interestingly europeans were more likely than americans to say they only followed motorsport and hockey.

PLAYER / DRIVER POPULARITY

"Who are your favorite NHL players?" + "Who are your favorite F1 drivers?"

when it came to calculating the most popular players, we asked that survey respondents list up to three of their favorite players, then assigned 3 points to the first player, 2 to the second, and 1 to the third. using this weighted count, i ranked drivers and players using a normalized score.

86 unique nhl players were mentioned for this question. out of them, 84.9% (73) are still actively playing in the nhl. the most popular active players were sidney crosby and quinn hughes, while the most popular inactive player was paul kariya, with 2 mentions and a score of 11.76%.

using the same process, 39 unique f1 drivers were mentioned for this question, this time with 95% (19/20) of the current grid being represented — the only driver not mentioned a single time was nico hülkenberg. the remaining 20 drivers were either retired or reserve drivers. lewis hamilton was far and away the most popular driver in this survey, while the most popular inactive driver was 3rd-placed sebastian vettel with a relative score of 61.18%.

here are the top 25 for each sport alongside their corresponding teams:

as you can see, the most-represented team in the nhl top-25 is dallas, with 4 players (robertson, hintz, heiskanen, oettinger) making the cut! other teams to have at least 2 athletes in the top 10 are edmonton for the nhl and alphatauri for f1.

F1 X NHL CROSSOVER

this was the main reason we created this survey in the first place. our burning question was: Which F1 teams do fans of certain NHL teams tend to like — and vice versa?

in order to calculate this, i mapped all the nhl teams each respondent voted for to all the f1 teams they voted for, assigning 1 point to each. so if someone had a favorite team and named three "other" liked teams for each sport, that would be 8 points on the matrix altogether. i then filtered out any nhl team that had less than 20 total tallies for f1 teams and created the chart below:

i also removed "none" votes since i was more interested in the distribution of interest strictly across f1 teams. finally, i filtered out the f1 teams with negligible amounts of votes and created another percentage chart relative to the global average (since we "expect" mercedes and ferrari to be most popular overall):

some summarizing thoughts:

DAL and VAN fans were both less interested in red bull and ferrari and more interested in mclaren and williams

NJD and PHI both voted less for mercedes; the former preferred ferrari and the latter red bull

CAR didn't have huge discrepancies across the board, but skewed a bit toward red bull and williams

COL had the lowest relative interest in mclaren of all teams, while SEA had the highest relative interest in williams

again, these sample sizes were pretty small so maybe it means nothing at all. i'd love to run this survey again with more responses and maybe also restrict the team choices to only 1 favorite + 1 other team per sport in order to really drill down into people's preferences, but hopefully this is interesting anyway!

FANDOM ORIGINS

i always love learning about how people got into a fandom, so we also asked respondents how they got into f1 and hockey, with the following options being provided:

Grew up around it/Family

Hockey or F1 RPF

Introduced by friends (online or IRL)

Discovered individually through fandom content (gifs, YouTube, podcasts, etc.)

Hockey books & romances (Hockey)

Drive to Survive (F1)

Other films, documentaries, etc.

3 respondents clarified that they specifically discovered hockey through reading the webcomic check, please!, but i decided to implicitly include this in the "hockey books" category. a few of the "other" options for hockey also specifically mentioned the olympics.

here was the distribution of responses, noting that the question was multi-option so there is overlap:

i also made a side-by-side bar chart to note differences between f1 and hockey origins. in this case, i paired "hockey books/romances" with "drive to survive," since i see them as the two biggest respective examples of mainstream media movements for each fandom (around social media/rps spaces i should say), the former being mainly based in booktok.

as you can see here, a considerable amount of fans got into f1 through dts (1 in 5). in terms of fanfiction, hockey rpf was a lot more influential in getting people into hockey than f1 rpf was in getting people into f1 (23.7% vs. 11.3%). lastly, hockey was also slightly more common as a childhood/family sport than f1, although only by a few percentage points — 28.9% of fans grew up with hockey and 23.2% grew up with f1.

of course, i couldn't end this question without doing another location analysis, which gave some interesting results:

for f1, the overwhelming majority of european respondents said that they grew up around f1 or were introduced to it by family — 51.5%, or over half (the chart says 44.7% because of multi-option overlap). in contrast, only 24.1% — or 1 in 4 — of north/central americans said this. their results were much more evenly split in general, with drive to survive and fandom content ranking considerably higher.

for hockey, the distribution actually looked quite similar between north/central americans and europeans, although americans ranked a little higher in terms of growing up around the sport. it's pretty much the same though — the main difference is that a good chunk of the "other" votes for the europeans specified getting into hockey through the olympics. altogether, respondents from asia, oceania, and south america mostly discovered hockey through a mixture of rpf and hockey books, although these are very small sample sizes so not fully reflective of overall experiences.

OTHER MOTORSPORTS

"What other motorsports do you follow?"

we were also interested in knowing what other kinds of motorsport people liked.

interestingly, north/central americans had the smallest proportion of f1-exclusive respondents, with 37.7% saying f1 is the only motorsport they follow. here were the series that received at least 10 votes:

indycar was by far the most popular "other" motorsport series, with motogp, nascar, and general feeder formulae (f2, f3, etc.) faring well too. unsurprisingly, you can also tell at a glance that there is overwhelming american interest in indycar and nascar compared to other series!

CONCLUSION

that's about all we've got at the moment. if there's anything else you'd like to see more of, or anything you're confused about/think doesn't make sense, feel free to reply to this post or shoot me an ask :') thank you again for reading and i hope you enjoyed this little post!!! 🥲❤️

#sorry this is literally a million years late the major depression had hands 😔 #f1 #hockey #stats