#also omg im applying to a job at a company i interned w thats out of state

[commando-rogers]

red alert im feeling shit

#it’s quite likely i wont be able to see the guy again until february when we’re both on campus #aka almost 11 months since our first date #and we’ll have only seen each other ONCE during that time at the 7 month mark #i wanna see him so badly i wanna be able to see him regularly so we can make it fucking official #i love texting him i love facetiming him but itll be so much easier in person #also omg im applying to a job at a company i interned w thats out of state #and if i got it i’d be living 4 hours away #and i mentioned that over text once and he withdrew a little #and then i mentioned it on ft tn and he got kinda quiet and weird #i dont wanna come out and be like hey uh i’d hate being 4 hrs from you for the forseeable future #after whatll be four months w him in person if that #i have the feeling it’s on his mind but i told him theres a lot of bridges we’ll cross when i get there #it’s not at all set in stone anyway and if it doesnt work out ill look for jobs closer to home #which happens to be the same city he’ll be in not that im #basing my life on that im def not i want this out of state job #i just want him too #and considering this job/others ill look at arent the job i want it doesnt matter where i am #i plan to take a few years do this work save up and then pursue the job i want once i have money and once covid calms down #so being near home wouldnt be me hindering myself anyway #ugh whatever we’ll cross that bridge when we get there #for now i just really want this job and i really really wanna fucking be held by him rn