#also one thing I've learnt from past relationships is

[tan1shere]

Changes pt 2

Ellie Williams x female reader !

A/n: it's here at last ... I hope you all enjoy it I honestly don't have much to say but, pt 3 ? Also this whole idea was inspired by a show slightly, if you can guess what it is down below I'll give you a kiss 😁!!

Summary: Ellies the bad girl in the school but she takes a liking to the reader, everyone's worried but the reader somehow changes her for the better ... or does she ?

Warnings: drinking, smoking, the mention of drugs like once. Swearing ? Mentions of anxiety and a beginning panic attack ! Think that's all :)

Masterlist || pt 1 ! Pt 3 !

A few weeks had past, and your bond with Ellie grew even stronger. You spent most of your time with her, although that wasn't very liked by the people around you. "She's gunna hurt you Y/n." Your roommate, Angela warns for what felt like the hundredth time. You know you should probably listen, but maybe Ellie just hasn't been around the right sort of people. Maybe she's changed. You were convinced that's what it was. As you started to get to know Ellie you learnt she was actually quite smart. She knew so much, but she constantly turned up late to classes. Never paid attention. You were confused as to why, she was so talented and bright, why would anyone throw something like that away.

You were currently walking down the halls on your way to your favorite place, yes ofcourse the library. It was like your home away from home. As you walk in you spot Ellie sitting there, doing her usual dribbles and doodles. "Whatcha doin there?" You beam at her as you sit down in a chair close to hers. She looks up at you and gives you a smile. "Just sketching, nothing exciting." She continues to look at you as you get a few things out. "How's the book?" She asks, setting a pencil she held on the table infront of you both. "Its the best, I've been reading it non-stop." You smile more at the question. She just smiles at your smile. "Told you, it's such a good read." A silence filled the air, not an awkward one, or a comfortable one. Just a silence, one that was as if there was something still to be said. You could feel it, so you look up at her. She was just looking at you, admiringly. But for some reason she stops, clearing her throat a little bit and getting back to her drawing. Odd? Maybe a little.

Ellie knew she wasn't the relationship type. She knew she wasn't classed as 'good' she knew she flunked on many things. She knew this. So why does it feel like she's feeling something for you. That never happens, she uses people- as bad as that sounds she won't sugar coat it, she knows she's done wrong. Is she going to do it to you too? She had no idea and the thought honestly frightened her, she's never felt this way for anyone in her life. She needed to put those thoughts aside she couldn't fall. But oh how beautiful she thought you were. Your hair looked so well taken care of, perfect features. Not too much makeup just light amounts, your pretty skin and how soft it genuinely looked. Minding your own business as you read, focusing on what it is you're reading. She couldn't, this isn't good. Especially when she has no faith in herself to not hurt you. But she couldn't give it up, she wanted to be in your presence you were so sweet and inviting it made her feel warm.

She had to not give into all these feelings at all. "Ellie?" You tilt your head slightly to get a better look at her face. You two were currently in her room working on something that was assigned to the both of you. She wasn't paying attention which you found out was normal for her to tube out and go into her little land. "Yeah sorry, just thinking." You slowly nod, continuing to speak about the project. She let's out a sigh. "I'm sorry am I boring you?" You let out a light hearted giggle as you say that, she begins to get defensive. Worried she had hurt you in some way. "No no no, ofcourse not! The complete opposite. Sorry I'm just a bit tired." She admits. You still laugh a tiny bit. "I'm just being silly Els." She swallows. That name that you acquired recently, makes her insane.

But definitely in a good way, she loves it. Was she a fool for you or something. You go to speak again, but shut your mouth. It had been dawning on you, the question you wanted to ask so badly. So you just come out and ask. "Why are you always ditching classes, why aren't you applying yourself?" She looks directly at you as you say this. She just shrugs. "You're incredibly smart Ellie. I don't know why you're-" You continue, although she shuts it down. "I really don't want to talk about this." She blurts, making you shut up for a sec. "Yeah no ofcourse." Awkward silence, but she breaks it with yet another sigh. "I'm sorry that was harsh." You just shake your head. "No no, I shouldn't of been nosey, it's not my business." You give her a tiny smile. Yet again. More silence.

"Right well, we shou-" "you want a smoke?" You were stunned by the question. You watch as she gets up. It was a little upsetting to see her not care about this project. "Elli-" She turns around. "Oh yeah no ofcourse, I shouldn't of asked." "El-" But she wasn't done. "That was a silly question, you don't seem like the type to do th-" "ELLIE." The room went quiet, she just looks at you. "Will you just shut up for a second." You laugh slightly. "Why are you avoiding this project?" She shrugs. She really likes doing that, huh. "I dunno, it's stupid." You furrow your brows slightly. "But this would be so easy for you Els." Theres that name again. She begins to smoke whatever the fuck she is smoking, seemingly to ignore you. You roll your eyes a tiny bit, closing the books that you had in your grasp, while going to get up, and walk over to her. She watches you, continuing to smoke. However she wasn't expecting your next move.

You get on your tiptoes and snatch it out her hand. "Hey!" She stands up properly. You keep ahold of it. "I'll give it back once you do some of this work!" You laugh a bit. She looks at you. With a 'be so serious' look. "Like I can't just snatch it right back." She walks towards you slowly, making you back up. "Well I won't let ya." She lets out her own laugh. "Did you forget your hight?" You glare at her. "I am not, that short." She raises a brow, getting closer to you going to try grab it, but you swiftly move your arm so she can't. "I may be tiny but I'm smart." She goes to try again. "Yeah well so am I." Again, she tries and fails. "Well if you're so smart use it for the project." She completely ignores that deciding to bend down and put you over her shoulder. You let out a small screech, going to grip the cig a bit tighter so it doesn't fall.

She drops you on her bed being careful still, making you bounce slightly on the mattress. She goes for the cig now that you are more grounded, but yet again you move it so she couldn't. You let out a giggle at how difficult she's finding this. "Not funny, you." She tries. Again. You laugh more at her poor attempts. "Right that's it." She pins your arms down as you try get out of her grasp, but before she could do all that you put it in your mouth having it rest there. "Gunna have to unpin my arms if you want it." You mumble still having it against your lips. "You're trouble huh." You let out another laugh. She goes to unpin one of your arms and when she does you quickly grab te cigarette from your mouth and hold it above you.

You could see the slight frustration in her eyes, you try hard not to let another laugh slip. "Gimmie it." "Do the work." She stares at you for a moment. "Oh you wanna play games?" She wastes no time into tickling you. One thing she didn't know but definitely was going to find out is that you were incredibly ticklish. Your eyes widen. "No no noooo." She doesn't listen, continuing the assault to your sides, you squirm trying to escape it. "Ellie!" You let out constant giggles. She smirks seeing you weren't paying attention and snatching the cigarette right back into her grasp, sticking it back into her mouth. But she didn't stop tickling you. "Say you're sorry Missy!" You laugh more. "Hell no!" Shes close to you. "Then the tickling shall continue." You keep laughing and honestly. Ellie enjoys this.

She really enjoyed your laugh, she loved to hear it. The fact she could make you laugh so easily made her heart happy. She's never seen anyone else make you laugh like she has, and sometimes she doesn't even try. But she manages to always pull a laugh or giggle from your lips. "Ellie pleaseee." She shakes her head. "Stand down!" You laugh. "Fine fine I surrender, I'm sorry!" You're still laughing even when she's stopped. But like most times silence overcame this scene. It was never an awkward one though. You look at each other. "Can we do some of the project now." You ask her. She stays quiet for a bit. Pondering. "Come on Ellie, it's not much and it's not like you'd struggle or anything-" you cut your sentence short. You hadn't realized how close you two were, she's most definitely noticing this too. You swallow keeping the eye contact going.

But she takes the cigarette out, turns her head and blows some smoke, beginning to get off of you. "Can I ask you something?" You sit up a bit once shes off, nodding. "Yeah ofcourse." You were intrigued. "What do people tell you about me?" You look at her, wondering how to go about this. "They just tell me to be careful and such." Now you shrug, sitting up more into a criss cross position. "Can I ask a question now?" She looks at you and nods. "Why do they tell me that. What's so bad that you've done." That silence was upon the room again. Another famous Ellie sigh. "I'm not a completely great person, maybe I'm working on it I dunno. But I don't date. I can't it's just not in me." You listen to all she has to say. "Why?" Usually people who asked such questions would get shut down by her. But she genuinely wanted to tell you, she loved the way you'd listen, to anyone. The way you'd take in every detail of information. "I'm not too sure."

She sits on the bed with you. "I just don't know if I can bring myself to being committed to anyone. You know?" You nod, taking in what she has to say. "I dunno, maybe I haven't found the right person." You keep looking at her. "Hmm, maybe." Silence. "You think you ever could?" She sighs a tiny bit. "I could do, no way of truly telling until the time actually comes." "Noted." For the first time ever with you two, there was a slight awkwardness in the air. You wanted to say something to fix it but you just stay silent. "What about you?" You became confused by the question. "What about, me?" You inquire. "Yeah, you been with people? You a relationship kinda girl?" You laugh a tiny bit at the question. "I've been in a few, nothing serious but I definitely am a relationship girl." She nods, going to take one last drag of her cig, going to put it out in an ashtray on her windowsill.

It was a few days later, you were currently on your way to your dorm, Angie was out for the night so you had a hot date with your blankets and your book. As you were strolling down the halls you caught sight of a friend in your class, you smile at him. "Hey, kenny!" You say with joy. He returns the smile, coming over to you. "Hey Y/n, what you got planned for tonight?" "I'm going to relax, read and eat." You smile more. "How about you? Anything exciting?" He shrugs. "Probably going to chill also, or go to a party." You nod, knowing he was probably confused on why you were staying inside on a Friday night, you didn't really know each other very well so you aren't surprised if he is. "You keep to yourself alot huh?" You nod proud. "Sure do, keeps me sane." He laughs a tiny bit. "Well I mean not completely to yourself." You furrow your brows. "What do you mean?" He pauses for a sec, looking at you. "I see you with Williams alot." "Oh yeah, she's cool to hang out with." He doesn't say anything immediately.

"What are you two? Like fuck buddies or something?" More confusion. "Excuse me?" You laugh slightly. "Well I never see her with many people unless she's fucking them soo." You stare at him. "Do people think that? Like about me and her" He shrugs. "I know I do, maybe others. But what are you two?" Why was he so intrigued by it. You knew she didn't have a great rep but seriously? "Well shes a good friend." He thinks for a moment. "She don't have many of those." You were baffled by this man and what he had to say. "I guess you just truly don't know her then." You don't know why you felt so irritated by this, but you go to leave. "Don't start anything with her, you're too pure for her antics." You stop in your tracks, going to turn back around. "And don't judge a book by its cover." You simply state. "Bit hard when that cover hasn't had the best past." You sigh. "People change." "Not Williams. Trust me we all thought that once, there's no changing her-" you go to cut him off.

"What are you talking about." He looks at you as if he was the one confused now. "You don't know?" You shake your head. "This has happened before, she almost dated this girl who thought would change her, she shitted big time on her. She doesn't even go here anymore and it was all because of Williams." You didn't want to believe that, it sounded horrible. "I'm sure she didn't leave just because of that." There was a tiny pause. "Nope, definitely was. She broke that poor girls heart. Couldn't even bring herself to come back, so she moved. I'm just trying to save you from-" you shut that down immediately. "I can handle myself, thank you though. But I don't need you telling me this." He shrugs. "Alright, just letting you know before you get too far gone with her." And that was that you both turned to leave. Did everyone just hate this girl? How could almost the whole school be so against her. You try to ignore all of this, wanting to go read, that is until you get a text.

-Hey, you busy tonight?

Speak of the devil. It was Ellie. You couldn't help but smile at your phone.

-I was going to have a night of reading, but you're more than welcome to join me, my roommate isn't going to be there so it'd be nice and quiet.

-how could i possibly decline that generous offer ;) see you soon?

-bring a book! 🤓

-holding one right now 📖

You smile more, making your way to your door and grabbing the keys to unlock it. You were brought to your senses when you could smell what seemed to be vanilla, you knew it was Angies perfume, she would always wear it whenever she'd go see her boyfriend. It always made you smile when she'd go on dates, she'd be so genuinely happy to get dressed up, telling you how amazing he was and how happy he made her. It was nice to hear. You set your things down on the couch, heading into your room to grab some blankets and such, making a space on the couch for them. You were soon startled when you hear a knock on the door, to it being opened. "Hello hello hello." Ellie says coming in. "Oh hey, I was just getting the couch nice." She closes the door behind her. "What book did you bring?" You ask, looking over at her. "I- honestly have no clue just picked up something random." She states, coming over to the couch and sitting down. "Good day?" She leans back into the cushions, kicking her feet up on the coffee table.

"Yeah pretty good, bit slow but it got there in the end. And you?" Coming over to sit down next to her, bringing the blankets up your body. "Pretty much the same." You couldn't help but laugh. "What's so hilarious." She smiles ever so slightly. "I dunno, I just assume they're boring because you don't do anything." She raises a brow. "Not true. I have so much fun." "Oh yeah? What do you do that's so fun?" You open your book up, taking the Bookmark out preparing to read once you were done with the conversation. "I go on a secret mission, shhhh I can't talk about it." You laugh and roll your eyes. "You're so incredibly goofy." She smiles more. "You love it." Your smile softened a bit, you truly did. You loved how she would be so silly, especially since you didn't get to see that side of her until you were alone together. You avert your eyes over to the words on the page, beginning to read your book. She does the same opening up the random book to start.

After a little bit, you wanted to just talk. As you're still looking at your book you speak up. "I had a weird interaction today." She looks up, and at you. "Oh?" You do the same, nodding. "Got told to stay away from you, again." She lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry people are bombarding you with that-" But you just shake your head. "Trust me it's fine, it doesn't bother me. What gets to me is how hung up they are on the topic." You truly couldn't wrap your brain around it. "He told me about this girl you had almost gotten into a relationship wi-" "he?" She stops your words. You look at her as she does so. "Yeah?" She furrows her brows more. "Who is this guy?" "His names Kenny, you know him?" She rolls her eyes. "Who doesn't know him, he's always in people's faces." You keep looking at her as she speaks, when a sudden sigh comes out.

"The reason he told you that was because he was super close to her. He got furious at me when the whole thing happened and it eventually turned into a huge fight. Silly, drunken fight." This makes you raise your brows. "Oh my God." "It was all okay, no one got badly hurt but it happened, I moved on. Clearly he hasn't." You think for a moment, wondering if you should ask what you wanted to or stay in your lane and just keep quiet. She noticed your silence. "What're you thinking 'bout pretty girl?" Trying to ignore how happy that name made your heart, you push all the fear away and just ask. "What did you even do to her." Ellie goes quiet tho as if she didn't want to talk about it. "I- uhm just forget that sorry." You bite your lip feeling awful for even bringing it up. She puts a reassuring hand on your knee. "I don't mind. It's ok, I promise just caught me a little off guard is all." Listening to what she says, you nod. "I was never really present in the relationship, sort of a bit closed off. It wasn't even a relationship really, more of a- I dunno. We got on very well but at the same time I don't think she understood me truly. She was a great person, I honestly thought she was going to be my very first girlfriend." You cut her off. "Wait wait so you haven't dated anyone at ALL?" You knew she struggled to be in relationships.

But to have never been in some sort of one before, shocks you. "Never ever?" She lets out a breath. "Okay, sorry continue." You hear a tiny laugh come from her, making you smile a bit. "Anyway, I just couldn't do it. I knew I felt something but not enough to commit to anything serious like I knew she wanted. But I couldn't bring myself to let her go for so long. When one night she asked me, and I froze. I stood there trying to find some words to tell her nicely that I couldn't." Ellie stops for a second, which worried you. "Oh God, what did you do." There was silence. "I told her she wasn't relationship worthy.." Your mouth opens slightly. "Jesus Ellie." "I know, I'm not proud of it I'm really not. Especially her face after, I felt so bad deep inside but I think I made things worse with my dry facial expressions.." shocked would be an understatement. You had no idea how to respond. "No one knows that. Your actually the first person who knows the true story. The rest just made up silly rumors of how it ended, she left soon after so no one really knows the full story but me."

Still not knowing what to say you move your gaze to her. "Please say somethin." She says awkwardly. "You're not the best with words are you?" You let out a tiny giggle. She scratches her neck. "Is it obvious?" You shake your head slightly, with a roll of your eyes. "Dumbie." That silence you two always came across, occurs. You love it, it was comforting if you were quite honest. "We aren't doing much reading." She pipes up, making you look at her. "We aren't are we." You laugh a bit, setting it down and going to stand. "Where are you off to?" Honestly you didn't know, but you felt like putting music on. "Going to get my speaker, I always put on some music when Angela is out." Ellie learns more about you everyday. "What kind of music. Some heavy metal shit." Another laugh escapes you. "What do you take me for?" "I dunno, you surprise me very often." You had the speaker in hand, setting it down on the coffee table. "Honestly, if I like a song I like it, I don't have a specific type." She smiles. "Well said." You turn your head, looking at her. "And you?" She thinks for a sec, letting out a hum in thought. "Well as long as it's not some yehaw shit." This makes you laugh, harder than you have before. "Really? Now that's something I would've thought you'd like." She scoffs, throwing one of the pillows that were rested on the couch at your face.

But you catch it quickly. "Ugh, rude." Throwing it back at her she just laughs. You grab your phone and play your Playlist, sitting back down in the position you were in before. "So, loves to read, doesn't like heavy metal, is very ticklish." The last one makes you pinch her shoulder, resulting in her holding her arm with dramatics. "What else am I going to find out about you." You think for a moment. "I guess you'll have to wait and see." She tilts her head. "You a party person?" Honestly you had no idea, you hadn't been to the kind of party she's talking about in your entire life, so how could you tell if you liked them or not. "Can't judge when I've never been to one." Now it was her who was gobsmacked. "Never, ever?" She quotes you from before. "Shut up. I find fun in other things." She looks offended. "I've been to some pretty wicked parties ma'am." You roll your eyes. "You love doing that too, don't you?" She points at your face. "What? Roll my eyes?" She nods. "They'll get stuck like that if you aren't careful." She says, seeming serious but you knew she was being a dickhead.

"Oh Har Har." "No need to fake laugh around me. We all know how hard I can make you laugh." You raise a brow. "Oh really?" She nods. "Yes really, I'm the master." She notices the look on your face and smiles wickedly. "Challenge accepted." "Wait-" But she pounces on you, going straight to tickling you. You try to push her off, giggling as you do so. "Ok ok stop, point proven." Shes now laughing too, but they both die down as your eyes meet. As corny as that sounds its true, you two were currently so close to one another. You could feel the coolish air from her nose. Then something just clicks in her brain and. "Y/n." You keep the eye contact. "Mhmmmm." "I think I like you." You let out another giggle. "You think?" The look that's on her face makes you giggle more. "No like I know I do.." There was a long pause which made Ellie worry. "Is this the first time you've ever said that to someone." She nods reluctantly. You soon become more serious. "Like actually like me?" You sit up, staring at her at the confession. "I've never said that to a girl before. Never."

Looking down, you take in this information. "I think I like you too Els." You let a small smile slip but she just playfully rolls her eyes. "So what now then?" That, she hadn't thought too far into. But as she wonders what this could become those bad thoughts of hurting you cross her mind, usually she wouldn't care. Horrible as that is she never did care. Maybe you truly are changing her. And what she does next truly shocks the crap out of you. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

You had said yes. Ofcourse you were thinking of those thoughts too, but you had hope she wouldn't, consider yourself stupid? Maybe. You just wanted to live in the moment, if anything keeping it a secret was the most hardest thing throughout this all. The first time you and Ellie kissed you were just hanging out in your room, Angie was home and she had come in without knocking, thank goodness she saw nothing. You've also gotten closer with Jesse and Dina, they were so kind. You were sitting with them and Ellie one day having some food in the small Cafe they have down there. "I'm just going to get some more of that Cake, you want any?" She looks at you, you just shake your head no. As she goes to leave tho, Dina turns to you. "She has this new glow to her." A hum leaves your lips as you eat. "Maybe being around you is changing her." She continues. "If so can you like stay forever." Jesse then speaks. It made you laugh slightly. "I'm not going anywhere." They look at eachother. "Well that's if she doesn't do anything stupid." Damn, even her close friends have no hope in her. You'd be lying If you said that didn't worry you much.

More time passes and it's getting harder to keep the secret, you didn't really care for what anyone else had to say about it, but you sure did worry about Angie, Dina, and Jesse. You had bonded with all of them so well you didn't want them to hate you entirely. Today, you weren't as careful. You were currently hanging out with Dina and Jesse in your room, chilling. When you hear a knock at the door. "Hold up let me just get that." As you get up to go see who it was, you forgot to close your bedroom door. You open it, but before you can process anything you're being kissed, you froze. "Hey baby." Ellie then says after pulling away, gently grabbing the flesh of your ass. Open, your mouth was open in shock. "BABY?" You then heard Dina screech, coming out of your bedroom along with Jesse. "Uh oh-" Ellie then says, removing her hand. You swallow as you turn around slowly. "Ermmm." They were shocked. "Ain't no way." Dina continues. You were stumped. What were you suppose to say? "Really Ellie, another poor heart?" Ellie furrows her brows.

She was going to say something but you step in. "Hey, that's not entirely true. How do you know she will do that, she can change you kno-" Dina shakes her head. "She's not changing Y/n, she will hurt you." Ellie scoffs. "Right here you know." Dina looks at her. "Don't even think about hurting her, Ellie. Come on Jesse." They both go to leave. "We warned you." She says to you. You just stay quiet, watching as they go. Silence was left in the room. "I'm sorry I should've said something-" Ellie shakes her head. "Don't be, seriously. What's done is done it's not your fault, promise." She says, putting her hands on your shoulders then moving them to your cheeks. You nod slightly. "Well, do you think they hate us now?" She laughs a tad. "You? Never. Me? Always. But it's understandable so I can't blame them." You look down, it sadden you how they saw her, you knew she hadn't been so great in the past- but that was in the past. Right? She makes you look at her again, putting her thumb and index against your chin. "Don't worry about them or anything else yeah? That shouldn't be a concern." You nod at her words, getting on your tiptoes to kiss her. "Anyways are you hungry?" You asked as you make your way into the small kitchen you and Angie had.

Ellie shakes her head. "Well, not for food." She shrugs while having a sly smirk on her face, that makes you grab a piece of bread that was sitting on the counter and throw it at her. Which earns a chuckle from her lips. "You're gross." She holds her hands up. "Whattt can't admire my yummy girlfriend?" You roll your eyes. "Far from that-" "Ay! Dont talk about my girlfriend like that thank you very much." This only makes you laugh now, making her smile too. "Well, I'm going to have a snack because I'm quite hungry." You state, going over to grab something to munch on. You then feel hands on your waist, and a chin on your shoulder. "May I help you." She just shakes her head, soon after hiding it in your neck. "Nurp, comfy." That warmed your heart, she was such a sweet person. As you were fixing up some food you felt warm soft lips on your neck, so delicate and gentle. It made you close your eyes relishing in the tenderness. "You smell so good." She blurts out, keeping the warm kisses going. You hum in response. "You smell so.. bad." She pinches your waist making you giggle. "Ow!" "I don't smell bad, take that back!"

You only giggle more. "You smell like cigarettes." She gasps. "You've told me you love the way I smell! Liar!" You roll your eyes, but she swiftly turns you around in her arms, grabbing your face and squishing your cheeks. "Els-" She stares into your soul, making you laugh out. "What on earth are you doing?" "Shhh, making your eyes stay like the way they did since you love doing that so much." She continues to do whatever with her eyes. "Oh my god." You proceed to shove her off of you, but her grip tightens. "You're such an idiot." She smiles. "Yeah well I'm your idiot, so suck it up buttercup." She kisses your nose and loosens her grip, going to lean against the counter. "You really do look great today. Just thought I'd remind you." You smile sweetly at her. "You look pretty beautiful yourself." Shes now smiling too. "Im the pertyest." You laugh at the way she said it, making her smile grow. She could never get over how pretty your laugh was. It was her favorite thing, ever.

It had been a few months or so since you and Ellie first got together, maybe a bit longer but who's counting you. Currently you were making your way to her dorm, like most Friday nights. Knocking on the door to be greeted by your beautiful girlfriends green eyes. "Hey baby." You smile, and so does she. "Hello Ms thing. Come in come in." She moves out the way so you can enter, going straight to the couch and making yourself comfortable. "What have we got planned tonight?" You ask. You two usually always did a special something on a Friday night. Her roommate was out on most of them so you'd come over to Ellies. "Well I know how you feel about parties, and if you don't want to we can chill out here for the night, but there's one a few dorms down." You ponder this idea, and honestly, why not. You figure it'll be fun especially with Ellie and how enjoyable she could make anything be. "Sounds like a plan." She raises her brows, genuinely happy you agreed. "Awesome, I'm getting changed because I just came straight here from my last class." She mentions going to go do that.

You do a double take. "You? In class?" She scoffs. "Shut up." Which makes you smile. "Noo, it's great i'm glad." She shortly comes back out. "Your sarcasm is lovely." She sarcastically replies. "You ready?" You nod at her question. "Sure am."

The music was booming, so many crowds of people. The smell of alcohol and potentially what you assumed was drugs. Pleasant. "Oh this ones going to be a good one I can feel it." Ellie says looking around, scoping everything out. "You're so silly." "Come on let's get a drink." You follow but she knows you don't drink. "I'll be the sober help." She looks at you. "Not even one love?" Her question makes you shake your head as she puts a hand on your shoulder. "Alright, just make sure you're comfortable yeah?" She says before giving you a kiss. You smile at her words, beginning to feel weirdly anxious about the night, and you had no idea why.

People were everywhere it was all quite alot to take in. As you were sitting on Ellies lap you noticed how drunk she was. It was different seeing her like this. "Mmm I want another." She would slur. Making you let out a light giggle. "You're so gone Els-" "your laughs so pretty, makes my heart warm." She suddenly says. You smile more at her. "Well that's very kind of you." After a little you let out a sigh, you felt like you weren't being fun right now, you didn't want to disappoint Ellie but you had so much anxiety currently, and you had no idea on how to stop it. "Can you pretty please get me another drink my beautiful girlfriend." She taps your side, holding up her empty cup. You smile at how precious she was right now. "Sure can." You take it from her going to get off and head over to the drinks. As you're over there you feel someone next to you. "Here with Williams?" It was Kenny. You look at him. "Is that illegal?" He stares at you. "Are you dating her?" You huff. "What even is it to you Kenny?" He shakes his head. "Youre going to get hurt." "Im doing just fine thanks." You turn to leave, back to Ellie. "Here you go." You say a little dryly. "Thank youu." She muddles her words, grabbing it off of you. You sit back down in her lap. "Was he hassling you?" You hear her ask. "Who, Kenny? Nothing I can't handle my love." You reassure her, although you think it was slightly getting to you. She just nods in return.

The night went on, and your chest still had that same feeling, your anxiety was increasing. You wanted to have fun with your girlfriend and friends but you just couldn't seem to relax. It made you more anxious that Ellie wasn't with it. You're starting to think its childhood trauma that's making you feel this way, you didn't know how to just shut this weird feeling off. "You alright mama?" Ellie asks, rubbing your shoulder, still drunk as anything. You just nod and bite your lip, chewing that silky skin off nervously. "I'm just going to go for a pee." You tell her, getting up and heading to wherever the bathroom is. Once you find it you head in, going to the sink to splash water on your face in hopes it'd calm you down just a little bit. "You're fine, Y/n just take a breath and relax. Everything's fine." You say to your reflection. You leave, entering the booming party once again, going over to where Ellie was last seen but she's not there, odd. Making your way around you try to find her, hoping she's alright and she hasn't got into something bad, knowing how some idiots can be with drinks. As you make your way around the room your heart completely sinks to the floor, you stand there unable to move.

All your emotions crashing down on you. Shock being the main one, then anger. You truly couldn't believe any of it, was it some silly nightmare? There Ellie was just stuck to some girl. Kissing her. After that shock wears off you felt your anxiety push your anger into motion, moving your feet over to her. You make a cough noise, seeing her pull back from it turning slightly. She may of been drunk but she knew exactly what had happened. "Fuck-" She says under her breath. "Wait baby no i-" You grab her drink and chuck it in her face. "No." You point at her, the girl silently sneaking off. "Ellie what the actual fuck." She just stares at you. Now you feel your tears now they start to come, and her heart breaks. Tears spill at the sight you just witnessed, she's never seen you cry before. You're always so cheerful. So it truly ruins her. "Y/n no no please-" "After everything we've been through, after what you told me. They were wrong. You cant change for anyone. I should've listened to them." She immediately shakes her head. "Don't say that please- it was an accident fuck- she just-" But you shove the cup into her chest. "Shut up Ellie." And she does but she needed to tell you how sorry she was.

After a second of standing there you couldn't look at her anymore. "Wait-" She pleads as you begin to walk off, getting lost in the crowd of people, it was such a huge room you had no idea where you were even heading. The anxiety approaches again, all you wanted was to get back to the comfort of your own room. Your tears still dripping slightly, fogging your vision. You plop down on a random sofa, feeling a panic attack arise. Which freaks you out as you haven't had one of those in many years. You try to even out your breathing, which you managed to do. But everything was so overwhelming. Someone sits next to you, and great it was none other than Kenny. "Did she do something." You sigh. "Good God Kenny. Please just stop." He scoffs. "So im right, correct? Fucking Williams." You turn your head away, just wanting to get out of this unfamiliar place. He places a hand on your leg, making you stiffen. "I'm sorry she did, you never should deserve something like that." This makes you turn your attention to him. "She always steals the girls I like. And ruins their lives." Your eyes widen. "Wha-" "I could treat you so much better." He says. You were baffled by this. "Kenny what are you even-" When you couldn't think this night could get worse, it does. He goes to try and kiss you but you dodge it immediately, standing to your feet. "Kenny no- im really not interested." He begins to stand too. "That's what she said." You smelt it on his breath. "Kenny you're drunk, I think you need some water-"

He shakes his head getting close to you again, your overwhelming anxiousness comes back again, especially once you see him flush to the floor. Your attention is now on Ellie who punched the living shit out of him. "Ellie what the fu-" "He touched you!" You facepalm. "Good God I have nowhere near enough energy for this shit." The night couldn't get any worse as Kenny stands back up, the two drunk as anything. "You bitch." He goes to swing at her but she moves. "Fight round two then, you fucker." She begins it all. You don't even know what to do anymore. "You're both children." You state, going to try find the exit. You had to get back, this night was all too much. But Ellie notices you leaving, so she goes after you. "Wait no- please let me explain!" She grabs your arm but you yank it. "No Ellie. Don't ever touch or even speak to me again." "They weren't right, you have changed me i swear to you!" You shake your head. "Once a dick. Always a dick. You. Have. Not. Changed." You spat.

#elliewilliams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader

[jinnie-ret]

ep.1: meet the wives

ratings: fluff

warnings: small mentions of ADHD, cancer, death, body size, cheating

running time: 1.5k words

summary: the brides to be gather and meet each other for their hen party, before they get married.

SKZ MAFS EPISODE LIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

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"Hi!!! I'm Aurora, but most people call me Rori, I'm 25 and I've been single for 2 years," Aurora grinned toothily at the camera as she introduced herself.

"I joined this experiment because I just want to meet someone who makes me feel safe, you know?" her tone has shifted to more of a sad one, but from the way she presented herself you could tell she was good at hiding that side of her.

"I've definitely had some experiences before that have changed who I was as a person, and it's not a nice feeling at all, it's dreadful," Aurora admitted, hinting at something else that must have affected her, eyes unable to look into the camera anymore, or even the person asking the questions to her.

"These past 2 years I think I've really grown as a person, like massive personal growth. I've managed to come out of that time where things were darker, and I just want a husband that will help me see the lighter times too."

"I moved to South Korea from the UK not too long after my previous relationship, and I now work as a nurse! It's a really rewarding job, long hours, but so rewarding. I think it's important my husband cares about hard work too, and yeah."

"Yeah, my family thinks I'm absolutely insane for joining this process, of course they do!" Dallas giggled and covered her mouth as she threw her head back, just imagining and remembering the looks her family gave her when she told them she was going on a show where she'd be marrying a stranger.

"Hi, I'm Dallas! I'm only 21, but, I had been in a relationship for 5 years. I think obviously I've changed since I was a kid, I'm a woman now, and I think now that I'm a woman I need a man," she shrugged her shoulders lightly with a small smile, almost becoming shy at admitting what she wanted in a husband.

"Someone who... is quite calm in their nature, I'd say. Sometimes my brain feels too busy, I do have ADHD and that can sometimes be quite overwhelming. So I think I want someone that'll calm me down but also accept who I am, yeah," she explained as the camera panned to her knee jolting up and down from ner seat.

"For my job I actually have my own little flower shop, and I don't think I'd rather be doing anything else. Some people say to me it must get boring but there's so many stories with the people I meet and why they want to buy their flowers and-" she cut herself off.

"I'm rambling, aren't I? To put it simply, yeah it's a small business, but I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Hi, I'm Sienna! I've never had a boyfriend before, so, yes, coming onto a show where I'm going to have a husband, it's, umm, how you say? Crazy, haha. Why am I here? Haha," Sienna's Polish accent came through as she spoke, adding some charm to her.

"I just think... The male figures in my life are very important to me. I remember the day I was told my father had cancer, that was the day I learnt he was going to die from it..." she bravely admitted, eyes welling up with tears. The screen showed her grabbing a tissue.

"Sorry can I have a moment?" she sniffled, holding her hand up to block the view of her getting upset.

"He always told me to think with my heart, and I think that's something that will stick with me forever. I know he won't be there the day I get married, but I've got a part of him with me always," she spoke gently of her father's warm advice.

"I think I can come across as quite closed off, I am training to be a lawyer, so I feel like I have to look at things quite unbiased, but with love... I'm not sure how it will go. I think I just want someone who will accept me for me, you know?"

"This is 100% the right place for me to be. I want love, I need it. I'm done living my lonely girl era. I mean that era was a whole year but let me tell you it was a long year," Octavia admitted as she sheepishly shrugged her shoulders.

"I've been in and out of relationships a lot, and they've never really matched me. It always left me thinking, maybe I was too much for them to handle?"

"I just want someone cheeky who will match my humour, that's a big thing for me. Someone who is ambitious too, yeah that's important for me as well," she nodded, describing her ideal type.

"I'm a model, I travel quite a lot for different shoots or campaigns so I hope that my husband is someone who could handle that, and cope with my busy lifestyle."

"Hi, I'm Valentina! I'll say it how it is, plain and simple like that. I work in sales, it's not the most interesting job I'll be honest, but it pays the bills, haha," she laughed, tossing her over her shoulder and giving a 'help me' look to the camera jokingly.

"I just live for the Fridays where me and my girls can go to the bar at the end of a long day and do a bit of karaoke. I have been told I have quite a good voice, not to brag," Valentina smirked.

"What do I want in a husband? I need someone who can handle my fieriness, someone who will accept me for me."

"I think people look at me a certain way, I'm not a prude, but I want my fairytale. My parents have been together for 40 years now, they're so important to me. My family is my world. So, as ambitious as it may sound, I want to have my fairytale in this experiment."

"Hi, I'm Tanaka! All I know is old people, fish, and the sea. You don't get a lot of people my age near the village I live," she introduced herself.

"I'm from Japan but live near the beach in Uljin! I'm looking for love, and I don't quite know what that will look like yet but I need something to fill the void," there was a pause as she spoke seriously, before she chuckled and leant back into her chair, "too deep?"

"I work at an aquarium, people come in with their kids, it's definitely something I want one day... Even if I can't carry them myself."

"I want my husband to understand me I think, which will be hard because I don't fully understand myself. But maybe they'll bring a different side out of me? Who knows haha... I'm looking forward to it."

"I'm Taniyah! I need a man that can handle a big girl-" Taniyah gave a cute look to the camera and looked it up and down as if she was flirting with whoever was watching. The camera quickly cut.

"Is that too much?" she giggled heartily, her hand habitually resting on her chest as she did so.

"Guys I've been with in the past... They've only wanted to get with me because they're curious of what it's like to be with someone plus size... They almost, how you say it? Fetish? They don't care about who I really am, deep down. And that's been a huge problem for me my whole dating life, it's really held me back."

"I work as a therapist, mainly with teens, and I go into schools and talk to them and just really help get down to the roots of their problems."

"I think I want someone who is caring and a good listener, because they're things I strive to be too, so yeah, I need a man that'll match my energy. Just wait til he sees me in full glam too, the boy won't be able to keep his hands off of me!" Taniyah cheered, clicking her fingers.

"Korea is very different to India let me tell you that," Ishani said in wonder, before adding on quietly with a small smile, "I like it."

"I came onto this show because the last time I was in a relationship I got cheated on, very badly, and I want someone who I can rely on all the time. I don't even have to know what they're doing, I just need a trustworthy person to be my husband, because then I won't have to worry."

"I do work as a vet, so I get to see animals quite a lot. It really is my dream job, I feel so lucky. I trust the animals more than men sometimes I can't lie. They're better listeners!" Ishani's eyes lit up as she spoke passionately of her job.

"I think what I also want out of the experiment is personal growth too. I've kept myself to myself for far too long, and I want someone to help bring things out of me I didn't know were there."

viewers: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @jyu-037 @keen-li @strawberry31

#skz mafs #skz #skz x reader #stray kids #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #skz angst #straykids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #skz fic #bang chan x reader #lee know x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #han jisung x reader #felix x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Looking for a smut fic I remember reading. WWX was testing an invisibility talisman and ended up in the jingshi in time to watch LWJ masturbating, and rode him after he fell asleep. LWJ woke up and made WWX get rid of the invisibility after a bit. I think it was a roleplay between the two but I'm not fully sure

FOUND! Clinomania by malkinmalkout (E, 6k, wangxian, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Somnophilia, misuse of talismans, PWP, Riding, Oral Sex, binding, Happy Ending, canon typical non-con)

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2. Hi! So I'm looking for this one fic, I remember that it was set in post-canon & Wangxian go to help this village, I remember that the Juniors (all four) followed them without their knowledge & the village had a barrier preventing people from leaving, the village had a curse where they got to see their close-ones negative memories, the juniors learnt of what actually happened to WWX & the villain turns out to be a "god" like on Dafan, it had 4 chapter (I think) & was finished. @i-like-snakes-and-spiders

FOUND? Down comes the night by danegen (E, 67k, wangxian, Alternate Universe, Canon Era, inspired by From, Horror, Sharing a Room, POV LWJ, no jiangs, a whole village of OCs, tiny mention of past wwx/omc, Happy Ending)

FOUND? unhappy stories with happy endings by Last_for_Hell (M, 30k, WangXian, Memories, Memory Fic, Kinda, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, sexual content maybe, References to Torture, PTSD, Characters Watching Their Series, kinda, but not entirely, very light consensual non-consent)

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3. good day! 😊 I read this fic before and I know that I've bookmarked it but I can't find it in the list. So the story is after wwx fell, baoshan sanren and lan yi rescued him, nursed him back to health, and waited for him to wake up. I remember that when he woke up, they also taught him cultivation (he got a new sword). He also hid his face (i think he also wore a different name and different voice(?)). There's a yi city scene where xxc asked them who they were because he cant see, then bssr is also with them at that time. thank yoooooou! 💓💓💓

FOUND! Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, war changes people, resulting to OOC, no pinning, Established Relationship, Mpreg, Good Uncle LQR, a little grey LWJ, a bit of JC bashing from LWJ, BAMF JYL, 16 years of yearning, mainly CQL verse but has scenes from the novel as well, LSZ is WangXian's Child, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Canon Rewrite, Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts)

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4. hi, I hope you can help me find this fic I've been looking for, I'm sorry I don't really remember much, just that WWX can cook non-spicy food but he does it on purpose, it might have been because of his time in the streets? or because someone would take his food? (maybe JC???)

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5. I cannot for the life of me remember anything else about the fic but I think it was cql based with lwj as chief cultivator? wwx returned to cloud recesses and the first thing he did was beat someone up for saying horrible things about lwj. I can't remember if it was multichapter or not so it might have been in the middle of a longfic?

FOUND? 🔒make this chaos count by devotedbones (E, 15k, WangXian, Post-Canon, CQL Compliant, canon compliant until the very last scene of episode 50, Getting Together, First Time, First Kiss, Hand Jobs, Chief Cultivator LWJ, a flute used as a melee weapon, Fist Fights, Gossip, Self-Worth Issues, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Mentions of Canonical Abuse, Minor Misunderstandings, [podfic] make this chaos count, by devotedbones by inkpens)

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6. this may as well be an itmf for its general nature, but it's actually a ficfinder! except. i only remember a single detail LMAO, and it's that wwx and lwj consider all four juniors to be their children, blood relation be damned. I'm so sorry i have literally nothing else to go on 😅 i think there's a similar theme in 'tragedy is not the end' specifically with zizhen, but not the exact detail im looking for... thank you for the help!

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7. Hi, first of all I want to thank y'all for the hard work, and I wanted to know if a fic has been deleted or if anyone has it, I don't remember the name but it was a time travel fic where Qishan Wen win the sunshot campaign and asked for war prizes (?) Zewu-Jun goes instead of his brother, Yanli is alive, they all have them captive, Meng Yao betrayed them and ultimately sided with the Wen's who were winning the war, and I think no one remembers Wei Wuxian, something like that, it would be great if someone could help! Thanks so much 🩷🩷

FOUND? The Way It Wasn’t by KouriArashi (T, 72k, WangXian, XiYao, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, (eventually haha), Slow Build, Family Feels, Moral Ambiguity, Eventual Happy Ending)

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8. Hi!!! Its me again!! Thanknyiu so much again!!! This time im looking for a time travel fic with lan qiren as the timentraveller. Pretty sure him and wen ruohan travelled together and MAYBE involved with each other??? Im not so sure but i do know that lan qiren time travelled. Sorry its not much thats all i remember hehe @sirius-bus1ness

might be one of Nirejseki's works. They wrote several on that subject (including in a big anthology work, so finding it might take some time)

FOUND? Cursed Couple by shorimochi (M, 121k, LQR/WRH, CSSR/WCZ, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Out of Character)

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9. Hello, I am looking for a fic but I only remember a scene from it

It was a fic wwhere wwx died and there was a scene where a-yuan was crying while laying above wwx's grave in the burial mounds. Thank you!

FOUND? To Offer a Heart by WhiteCrane (M, 111k, wangxian, major character death, Sad WWX, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, soft wangxian, Cinnamon Roll WN, WWX Whump, WQ is a good sister, WN is a good brother, everybody loves wwx, yunmeng siblings, Triggers, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Taking care of WWX, Give WWX a break, Canon Divergence, Disturbing Themes, Changing Perspectives, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Grief/Mourning, Temporary Character Death, Getting Together, Redemption, Sibling Bonding, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brother-Sister Relationships, Parent-Child Relationship, Sad and Sweet, Tragedy, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF JYL, BAMF WQ, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Everyone Needs A Hug, WIP)

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10. Hi Mods (＾◡＾) I really hope that you can help me find some fics I've been looking for! (＾◡＾) if you can't that's ok, if you can then many thanks in advance! y'all are awesome!

A) this one is set during CR studies, and wangxian go on a date? in Caiyi and I think WWX gets emotional about something they are talking about? and I know they hug, and WWX don't want to let go.

B) this one wangxian gets married, WWX marries into the Lan, and there are a lot of rules specifically for married people/how to be in a relationship, I'm pretty sure that is a very big part of the story

10A)

FOUND! 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 712k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) The scene described sounds like something that happens pretty early on

10B)

NOT FOUND! Into the Oubliette by Ruixx (M, 124k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, graphic depictions of violence, underage, Growing Up, Fix-It of Sorts, Arranged Marriage, Time Travel, Sibling Bonding, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Canon Divergence, Light BDSM, Breathplay, WWX protection squad, Sunshot Campaign, War, Politics, Hostage JYL, Visions, LXC Redemption, general LWJ, Internal Sect Politics, Good Uncle LQR, Lan OCs, No Golden Core Transfer, Empire Building, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence)

NOT FOUND! seldom all they seem by Fahye (E, 25k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, or rather Arranged Betrothal, followed by Weapons-Grade Thirst)

FOUND? Wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave by failedcharismacheck (M, 15k, WIP, WangXian, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Protective LWJ, Domestic Fluff, Kissing, POV LWJ, Hair Brushing, Implied Sexual Content, soft horny)

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11. Noncon tw. Looking for a fic where when the wens burn lotus pier, they threaten to rape yanli but Wei Wuxian offers himself instead. So the wen soldiers rape Wei Wuxian in front of the Jiang sect,l. Yanli cries

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12. Looking for a specific fix where Wei Ying is dead and the sects come together to watch through his memories and end up finding out for selfless he was. @aviidaviibiitchboii

FOUND! Misunderstood by Silver_Flame_2724 (M, 250k, WIP, WangXian, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Heavy Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Canon-Typical Violence, Self-Worth Issues)

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13. Hi, I'm looking for a modern au where Wei Ying is a grad student in an orchestra and A-yuan is dropped off at his door by his cousin Mo Xuanyu. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan get together while caring for A-yuan and end up getting married. A-yuan has a fear of airports in this fic because of his abandonment issues. This was on AO3 but I can't seem to find it. @amindonbreak

FOUND! The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental baby acquisition, Kid fic, Green card marriage (but not really), Slow Burn, Endless Pining, Happy ending, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer, Translation into Русский: Самый Простой Путь Вперёд (The Simplest Way Forward) by grand_R, Spanish Translation, Turkish translation )

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14. hello! im looking for specific fic, where after burial mounds wwx thinks he's dead. instead of joining sunshot campain he storms nightless city and kills all cultivators without anyone knowing it was him (exept meng yao who survived but is wounded)

he then "haunts" yumeng for a while until he runs into wen quing and takes wens to burrial mounds

eventually ppl find out and together with meng yao they outsmart jgs to pardon all wens @chellsky

I can't find 14, but I do remember reading it; they ended up pretending Wen Qing was the one controling the dead and killing the Wen, and they faked her death

FOUND! can't find a way home by KouriArashi (M, 109k, WangXian, XiYao, XuanLi, ChengQing, Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Family Feels, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Developing Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical political bullshit, Mental Health Issues, Eventual Happy Ending, Descriptions of suicide, (caused by dark magic))

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15. Hello! I'm looking for a fic where Sizhui's bio parents are alive and come to Cloud Recesses looking for him (post-canon, iirc)

Hello! I'm #15 from the latest fic finder. I'm quite sure that the fic was on ao3. It may have been inspired from the angstymdzsthoughts posts but it was a proper fic posted on ao3

NOT FOUND! This Post by angstymdzsthoughts Mad idea, could 15 be from angstymdzsthoughts?

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16. Hi! I was reading a really interesting story about LWJ being cursed and WWX helping him and I lost it! Arg, now I'm so curious to know how it ends, I hope you can help me!

The story is about LWJ being cursed with a change in his private body parts. (The curse changes his p to a v). Then WWX notices this and decide to help LWJ and the way to revert the curse is that LWJ has to have an org@sm.

Can you help me? I'm dying to know how to continues!! 🤗🤗 @wangxiansgirl

FOUND! Coming Back to Yourself by acernor (E, 21k, wangxian, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Oral Sex, Pining, Gender or Sex Swap, Vaginal Sex)

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17. Hi! Looking for a fic wherein wangxian married and suddenly Mo Xuanyu woke up again in his body, he fell in love with Lan Wangji but Lan Wangji just ignore or formal with him. Mo Xuanyu heartbroken tried to bring back Wei Wuxian Soul on his body

I feel like this might be in the angstymdzs collection, since I think it's was inspired by one of those asks?

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18. Kind of random, but I’m trying to find a fic I read awhile ago that featured hagfish? My memory of it is kind of vague, it was a college au and wwx was some sort of biology major i think and there were hagfish. Compelled to read it again because of hagfish reasons.

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19. Hello! I'm looking for a specific fic which I've seen in a few people's bookmarks but for some reason neglected to even mark for later. It's a modern AU where LWJ is looking for a pet sitter for his bunnies and is recommended WWX's pet sitting/walking venture (no dogs allowed ofc). Can you help? 🐇 @linderel

FOUND! A Single Note by airinshaw (E, 19k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Kissing, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Light Dom/sub)

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20. I search a fic where Jiang Cheng tries to ask Lan Xichen to marry him and Lan Xichen is super offended by it. Nie Huaisang may have done something to make JC fail even more in his proposal.

FOUND? To Take A Wife- Or Perhaps A Husband by Admiranda (T, 2k, one-sided LXC/JC, one-sided NHS/JC, JC's canonical homophobia, JC's canonical inability to get married, Decides to solve his problems with spite, not JC friendly, We all love NHS in this household, JC's canonical blind spots, Post-Canon, JC's canonical classism)

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#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

[rebouks]

Having read/reread Somnium this past week/two-ish... I have some theories about Wyatt.

Every character we create has a bit of us, our experiences, and our biases. On that same note, I think every persona Wyatt has projected contained a bit of truth, but also a fair bit of fabrication. Of all the characters in Somnium, I think he had the worst childhood. It's really a miracle he's alive and not completely batshit crazy. And it's understandable why he learned to shut down emotions from a tiny age.

But Wyatt is AND isn't who we've seen. That nerdy, awkward doofus Courtney got to know, there a bit of truth there. But he exaggerated it for her. The absolute psycho that everyone shied away from... There's a bit of truth there, but I think also a fair amount of embellishment. If you're gonna be surrounded by homicidal thugs, then by all means, be the craziest one in the room. The one person that everyone is wary of. When he had his years alone in Mt. Komo (aka his purgatory), it was the first time his survival didn't depend on acting FOR someone else. He could just BE.

Wyatt says he isn't wired right and that he's emotionally faulty. But is he really as bad off as he thinks or is that what he's always been told? Obviously empathy is not his strong suit, but we've seen him: jealous/envious (others' relationships), selfless (letting Darien & Brynn go), appreciative (Oscar's help), petrified (to the point of throwing up), kind (to Ichiro, Mayo, and Brynn), and managed to (while sweating) mumble an ILY. All of which are normal emotions. He tried to make amends where he could. He adopted a cat ffs. A street cat that now has the poshest looking cat bed I've seen lol And the last time he choked someone was out of passion and (somewhat righteous) anger, not emotionless calculation.

I think who Wyatt was (and thought he was) is fading away, however damaged his past left him. I don't think he'll ever be a soft guy/touch to the world at large. Only a select few will be privy to that side if him. But I think his true nature is finally being revealed. Or am I reading him wrong? Enlighten me, Becca!

Ohhh you've read him remarkably well indeed! I truly love Wyatt's character, he's so complex and he really did have a nasty childhood.. on the surface I'm sure it looked like he had everything he ever wanted, but that's faaar from the truth.

I think he's only just realised that he's not actually a psychopath at all, he just kinda learnt how to be one as a coping mechanism when he was very young, so young that it almost seemed like reality in the end, even to other people! (There's a reason it seemed so genuine ⚆_⚆) I suppose in a way he lied to himself for so long it became reality. Ask Bruno.. he's still convinced he's a psycho! 😅

I rlly think smth shifted the moment he became suspicious of Oscar tho, and whilst at first he was intent on protecting the "family" and doing the "right" thing, the more he thought about it, the more he realised how done he was. No one listened to him, no one respected him, but he knew he was right! It was like he realised he'd never progressed from being a small child, pushed out of the way and ignored, even when they're begging to tell you something important! Arturo wasn't interested, so instead.. he had to pay. Wyatt didn't want to be loyal to him anymore! At the time, he didn't help Oscar n' co. just to do the right thing, he wanted to fuck his father over more than anything, so.. still pretty self-serving in a way but he's had a loooot of time to think since then and it's been so intriguing watching the slow shift in his mindset.

He's everything he's ever been, pretended to be and everything he never was, all bundled up into a ball that he buried deep inside; only when he was free did it all start to unravel.

I adore the examples of humanity you've picked up on tho, all those tiny hints we got that maybe he's not completely devoid of emotion after all... He's still Wyatt, but he's also Kaito too.. he's intelligent, he CAN be kind - to the right people, tho he definitely struggles with empathy - he's jealous, possessive, ambitious, confident, not confident at all 😆 he doesn't know, actually.. maybe we should check back in on him in a little while lmao

Hurray for the truly grey man!

Also.. I kinda started putting together a lil timeline of posts/moments that I thought were pivotal to his slow lil journey but this is long af as is so I'll work on that and post it separately 👀

#ranswers #ts4 #fib extras #fib asks #wyatt #oooooooooh #<333 #big love for this ask.. you're so on point with this omg #he's deffo our most damaged of goods #lmao #i think the second worst childhood award goes to cookie tho.. oof #also.. in case u didn't know but the last post was the end of this arc and i'm technically on a break rn! #doing a lot of setup behind the scenes tho u know how it is #👀 #i wanna do a lil timeline of wyatt's journey tho cos it's INCHRESTING #and i wanna do a lil wrap up of this arc too #kinda busy atm tho so bear with #<3

[earlgrey24]

ask game: 1, 26, 27

Thanks for the asks!

1. Who is your favourite historical person?

I have a lot of favourites, so it's hard to choose! But I'd have to go with Camille Desmoulins. He was very talented, though he arguably kept making bad life choices. I also really appreciate his views on divorce and women's rights in general (it was far from perfect but I'd argue it was quite progressive for its time). Him and Lucile seemed to have a genuinely nice relationship. And, judging from the anecdotes I've read, there just seems to be something deeply human about him, reflected in a way in which he reacted to the things happening around him.

For a woman from history, I'd have to go with Émilie du Châtelet. I devoured the book of her collected writings yesterday, so I'm very biased at the moment. I definitely think that she must have been one of the brightest minds in the 18th century. Her writings on the role of women and happiness just really resonate with me. Her life story is a bit all over the place but very entertaining, until it gets tragic.

26. Forgotten hero we should know about and admire?

This is a story on a very small scale, but I've recently learnt about Jindřiška Nováková and it really moved me. She was only 14, yet she participated in the resistance during the time in which Czechia was occupied by Nazi Germany. She helped to move and hide a bike used by one of Heydrich's assassins, which may not seem like much, but back then, it meant risking not only her life but also that of her family. Someone reported it and she was taken away for questioning, and yet she didn't reveal anything.

Unfortunately, she was later killed in the Mauthausen concentration camp, making her the youngest victim there.

27. Favourite historical “ What if… ” ?

Oh, that's a good one! I don't really have the sufficient expertise to answer it, but I sometimes wonder if things would be different if the US came to help the French people during the revolution? Namely in a form of a military aid?

I'm not sure if things would be better, but it's an interesting thought.

Though maybe it's just residue from my past amrev obsession and the echoes of Cabinet Battle stuck in my brain.

#ask game #ask away #french revolution #camille desmoulins #émilie du châtelet #frev #amrev #nazi germany #czechia #czech history #history #20th century #18th century #1700s #ask tag #frev community

[buckhelped]

Things I have noticed and learnt about buddie in the past 72 hours about Buck x Eddie from tumblr and youtube

these two guys are friends and Bucky hangs out an abnormally lot of time with Eddie (almost like he's got a little crush on him you could say)

Buck (Not Bucky) is a ladies man (or is written as such) and he has a close relationship with Eddie's son Christopher (who has cerebral palsey) - Eddie has willed it that he ever passes Christopher will be under his guardianship.

Up until now half the pairing of buck/eddie was straight and now Buck is bi so there's a bit of a chance that buck/eddie will be canon, but it's going to be a bit of a wait

Buck is kind of Deancoded in some senses (also I really would love now that Jensen Ackles and Oliver Stark are in something together where they play lovers, I feel like this would be good).

Eddie might be deancoded? but he's like Buck except without the repressed feelings???

This is all what I've gathered so far.

lol this was a delight to see in my inbox this morning and it's mostly correct. the big thing is the idea that mr. i-don't-panic-it's-not-repression-just-moving-forward is less repressed than buck

allow me to direct you simply to this gifset by the lovely and talented @eddiediaaz. eddie's working on it but repression and his unpacking it are a huge part of his character and journey. and the show hasn't yet broached how that might be at play with his sexuality or potential feelings for a certain someone but girlie's about to obliviously crash a date his boybestfriend is on with another man so. we'll see how that plays out

on that note it seems based on your third point that you were under the impression that eddie was already canonically queer which. see above. so sadly 100% of buddie was presumed straight until thursday. but it's been explicitly stated at the very least by oliver (and maybe also the showrunner but i'm not sure - other people pay better attention to these things than me) that they saw all the potential seeds of bi buck and all the talk about it online and decided to (and crucially were finally able to at abc) just run with it. and there are PLENTY of queer eddie seeds so. as for canon buddie i'm pretty much completely convinced it's happening at this point. whether it's in conjunction with an eddie sexuality journey or after it is my biggest question right now

and you're definitely not the first person to clock buck as deancoded lol but i'm not sure how i would feel about jensen and oliver playing lovers because i just don't think i could separate them from their dean and buck and the thought of that crossover is breaking my brain aksdjfkdj

anyways one of the most fun things about this development has been the reactions from people outside the fandom so thank you for sending me yours!! 🩷💜💙

#bon answers #anniemurphy #buddie

[followmetoyourdoom]

I've just finished watching the new Megamind movie and *sighs* thoughts below

I'll try to start with the positives - the Doom Syndicate without comparing them to the Doom Syndicate from either the game/s or the concept art were okay, decent even. Lady Doppler's outfit in motion makes a lot of sense and her powers are cool. Pierre Pressure is okay. Nighty-Knight is funny, I liked that he wanted the teddy bear and kept that throughout, plus he had cool powers. Behemoth was my favourite, seemed like he had layers to him, and not just bc he was made out of molton lava.

There was a very cute heartfelt scene between Keiko and Megamind about him being her inspiration to try to be a good kid, bc if he can go from a bad guy to a good guy, maybe a bad kid can be a good kid. It was very sweet and it's a good message to give kids.

Some scenes felt very in character - Megamind not knowing how to look after himself without Minion, Roxanne trying to help. There were also a lot of good one liners that made me snort or giggle.

The end picked up, I did like the absolutely pointless plan to put the city on the moon, that is exactly the sort of idiotic in-character plan that Megamind would make - the Doom Syndicate going along with it eeeeh less happy about, makes them seem just as idiotic, but then they sort of were in this.

Now, the not so good. The timeline is completely fucked, why change when it was set? Also setting it two days after the first movie was A Choice. It was even more of A Choice to have the city set post the statue unveiling which didn't seem like it would only be two days down the line at all.

The beginning felt too long and drawn out and not much actually happened? Roxanne was almost completely out of character - why the sudden existential crisis bc some kid has followers? Roxanne loves solving the stories and working out the truth, she didn't need a new job! And speaking of the kid, oh my god, her initial scene is incredibly annoying. I did grow to like her (due to the aforementioned heartfelt scene) but it was an uphill battle.

There were aspects of Lady Doppler's character that seemed... interesting shall we say, given they had decided to combine all of the women in the original Doom Syndicate into one person, it was very jarring and I'm not sure they pulled it off. I would have preferred to see OG Lady Doppler and either Rockatoo or Hot Flash (or a combo of those two perhaps). I just don't think that having a black woman be immediately catty towards the first woman she sees is a good choice. Give variety by having more than just one female villain and let them be their own characters.

Minion's name change, which I refuse to enforce, was stupid - they could at least have made it make more sense in canon. Maybe Minion wanted a name more fitting of his new position, something less evil sounding. But no, it was an in universe copyright thing. Stupid. And speaking of Minion, the relationship between him and Megamind oh my god where did that go? Megamind literally just learnt the lesson about valuing him as more than just a minion, as a friend. And they just threw that away immediately. Megamind and Roxanne's relationship seemed a little off as well, not as much as I've heard some reviewers saying, but enough to make me go :/ And then we have his past with the Doom Syndicate - founding member, yeah sure, but OG leader? Nah, not this twink. This twink couldn't lead his way out of a cardboard box.

I think I'm more disappointed than I expected to be, bc I went in with low expectations, I went in knowing the animation was bad (and looking past it bc low budget, they did the best they could), I went in knowing the voices were different, I went in knowing they had this stupid influencer storyline, but I thought the writing other than that would be at the same level as the first movie as it was the original writers. And some was at that level, but only in bits and pieces. It was incredibly inconsistent, both with OG lore and itself, and just seemed to throw away OG character development from the first movie in favour of re-doing it in this movie.

I wish they had more time to polish this, I wish they could have gotten a bigger budget, I wish they didn't have to include the influencer storyline to appeal to kids, I wish they didn't have to change Minion's name. I wish I wasn't as disappointed.

#megamind

[adviceformefromme]

'2] Anxiety when dating became a signal that I had inner work to do. Not that I should just ignore it, or have a shot of tequila to settle the nerves. I used to date men I believed where out of my league, because my confidence was in the gutter. My anxiety led me to building my confidence'

hi, how did you navigate this? sorry to trauma dump lol but i really do want to work on this, but my parents got divorced when I was a child bc my dad got involved with another woman so that's given me intense fear and anxiety in my own relationships-- so much so that my man could simply just talk to another woman and have an innocent conversation or laugh with her and I'll feel extremely threatened and anxious and will go into complete fight or flight mode. i've even given myself anxiety attacks sometimes when i've been overthinking his friendships with women. it really sucks and I have no idea how to get rid of it. so i just would like to know how you did this inner work on anxiety in relationships please as I really do want to work on this and become more securely attached

Hey sweetie! I actually went through a similar thing with my parents when I was 15, it didn't leave me fearing I would be cheated on, however my dads absent presence from being in my life but not fully involved left me feeling like I was never enough. I'll condense down my healing, and hopefully it can help you fast track what you are dealing with now so you can move on with your life without this painful anchor. 1] Therapy. I literally could not see, or make sense of my destructive habits and patterns until I did Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. This is not a therapy that goes on for years, it's usually around 8-12 weeks and really helps target your anxious behaviours especially in relationships. 2] I did an Akashic record healing, which revealed to me the traumas I had carried from past lives and I worked with the Akashic healer to remove the traumas. Hands down this completely changed my life. This trauma you have could be felt much deeply because it could be something from a past life. I don't know if you believe in that stuff, but if you do it's definitely worth investigating. 3] I learnt to understand my needs. What do I need? Is this a man who can meet my needs? Are you choosing men that reassure you, or are you choosing men that reinforce your insecurities? Have you identified what you need in a relationship, from a man? If not, this is something to spend some time figuring out. 4] I let go of the struggle story. The story of not feeling enough, not trusting, not feeling wanted. This meant, I stopped gossiping with friends about by dating life which helped so much because speaking about said guy constantly was draining, especially when things would inevitably go south. The more you speak on your struggle, the more you are speaking your struggle into your future. As soon as I stopped gossiping about my failing dating life, some shifts started to happen. I spoke to my therapist, or one trusted friend. But other than that, I learnt that speaking on the bad news is not how I thrive in this life. 5] I deepened my relationship with God. This removed 99.9% of the men I was entertaining. I chose to see God as my father, and my dad as my earthly father, someone who is human, makes mistakes and it really softened my hurt and pain towards my dad. Also my relationship with God, helped me filter out the men I was entertaining. Was I choosing men that appeared good on paper, or men who shared the same values as me? And with that answer, there was a shift. 6] I worked on forgiveness. This was HUGE. I wrote a list of every single person who hurt me, i would recommend starting with your dad, and anyone else at the top of the list and write down what happened, what you felt and visualise forgiving yourself and forgiving those involved. This is a very healing process, it wasn't a quick thing. But if you can focus on forgiveness in your healing you'll be clearing out the roots of this issue completely. I hope these points resonated xoxox

#manifestyourreality #levelupjourney #lawofattraction #manifesting #manifestingmindset #datingadivce #levelup confidence lawofattraction powerofthemind #relationship #dating

[rumbleonthemill]

okay, so a few things I've learnt as adult over the years, and I wish I could restart and do it differently. (not fandom related post, I just wanted to write it)

don't be honest. people say "oh be honest while making friends, or looking for a job etc" and honestly it was my mindset since forever. but what I see is, people who LIE, are getting hired. people, who LIE, are becoming trusted and I don't. I was honest in my entire life, and people turned away from me, because they couldn't stand it. people disliked me, because I wasn't a yesman. etc. a lot of people (not every obv) just want to hear positive things, and not the truth.

do not open up to anyone.

do not make friends with followers if you're an artist. this may sound odd, but the reason is, a lot of people will just use you as a trophy, or will get your messages out of context to hurt you as soon as you don't do something they want (free stuff, most likely).

skills don't matter. this is also a hot take, but so far, I've seen a shitton of people getting some job, just because they were friends with someone. there was no skill. and then I, with years of hard work, studying, and skills never got a chance. this is a very common phenomenon in the east. and I'm saying it as someone, who is very insecure about their own skills!

keep personal stuff (life) to yourself. this is also a very hard thing to do, if you're the type who just has to write the problems out of themselves or they'll explode. I'm not sure, what is the solution to this, a journal that noone can find, or whatever, there is no professional help where I live, so that falls out, and:

you're on your own. if you want something to be done, do it by yourself. people promised me so many fucking ass things, and in the end of the day, they kept none of it. nowadays I just know, that promises are empty.

no friendly advices to people - in the past years, I tried to help and protect people from objectively toxic ones, and it felt like I'm talking to a wall. not one person returned to toxic relationships, and while it's THEIR issue, I felt like my convincing went to trash and I wasted my time. ok then. no advices from me.

people, who first simp you, then leave you, aren't worth your time. block. same goes to any toxic person. block.

(these are only my subjective thoughts and experiences, sadly I'm negative for a reason. )

the reason why I'm sharing this, is because maybe others will be luckier in life, if they learn from it. or something.

#life #discussion #critique #opinion

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INFJ here. I have been feeling emptiness lately. I am surprised that I feel it, because I'm generally doing well in life. I'm not stressed or depressed. I'm also surprised because both my Ni and Fe have been working well. Recently I've found my meaning in life. After years of questioning, I've finally found a perspective that satisfies me fully, and I can envision myself living with this meaning my entire life. It is not narrow, instead, it is both specific and all-encompassing. Even in my work, relationships, self-care, this meaning is omnipresent and that is so fulfilling and peaceful. 

When it comes to my Fe, it is true that it was fairly dysfunctional for a long time, but recently, thanks to your blog, I've been working on developing it. I've got a long way to go, but even the smallest improvements I make with my Fe make me feel fulfilled. I've been reading on communication skills, relationships, learning to make value-based decisions, reaching out to my old friends and going out with new ones. 

Because of the early influence of my ISTJ brother, my Ti developed a bit earlier than my Fe, so I am not really concerned with Ti. After I engaged Fe, my Se was pretty happy too. My meaning of life also makes room for appreciating life as it is. My desire to consume is getting lesser and I am learning to be content with having my needs satisfied. Of course I will need a good deal of practice to make sure I don't repress Se unwillingly.

So in light of all these considerations, I am surprised that I feel emptiness. Firstly, I'm thankful that I don't readily identify with my emptiness. I noticed this feeling, but didn't get all depressed and hopeless. I am thankful for the progress in my emotional intelligence. Secondly, I got curious and tried to think of what this feeling may be pointing at. I thought perhaps this is because I haven't been connecting with people enough, so I am trying to meet people. I thought perhaps I need a more systematic approach to maintaining my relationships and now I want to develop and deepen my relationships. 

I also thought that maybe it is because I am graduating this year. I have been in this university and city for 7 years. I came here right after school, so I didn't have a different life other than this. Now I'd like to move to another city and start working, which changes both my place of living and my role in the society. I know that my Se may be resistant to change and I may feel fear. At the same time, I can envision all the wonderful possibilities this change may bring. I indeed believe that it is a good time for me to make some changes -- I think I've received what I could from this part of my life. My Se demands novelty and I agree. So I wouldn't say that I am particularly stressed about this change -- I would say challenged and hopeful. I want to work as a teacher and be a good influence in the world. Before I start working in the fall, I would like to spend some time teaching children in my village for free.

Finally, I thought that perhaps emptiness is telling me to... speak? When I think of emptiness, the immediate idea is to fill up myself with something, to replace the emptiness. But I thought what if emptiness isn't all that empty actually and I need to express myself to feel full. I also thought that perhaps this is a good time for me to process some negative experiences of the past? Not that I have been repressing them. I am not disturbed by them either, but in a day-to-day life, I normally have other things to attend to, so I didn't purposefully pay attention to these experiences. Maybe I feel empty because my negative feelings want to speak?

I once read something like this on apathy on the internet -- that when a person cannot feel negative emotions, they stop feeling anything. Again, this is strange, because I am generally welcoming to my negative feelings. I used to repress my anger a lot and a few years ago I learnt to accept it. I researched a lot on this topic, so I gained a good perspective not only on anger but negative feelings in general.

The experiences that I am talking about in this case is specifically my family history. My unhealthy dad and mom had a dysfunctional relationship, which also sucked me and my siblings in. There is truly a lot to unpack here. I thought that maybe this emptiness was making room for me to process negative experiences that were unattended before. I understand that we don't have to react to every emotion, but emptiness seems to be a recurring feeling in the past couple weeks, for whatever reason. If you have any ideas, I'd be happy to hear them. Thank you a lot.

----------------------

I congratulate you on your progress. I've highlighted a few points in what you wrote above that I believe deserve scrutiny:

1) Saying that you've "found your meaning in life" and that you can envision it working for you for the rest of your life sounds like a good thing on the surface, because it seems to promote inner peace and align with what your dominant Ni wants. However, I usually raise a yellow flag whenever I hear someone say something like that.

From my observations of pitfalls in type development, such a belief is not unlike believing in a false idol for the sake of comfort. It's a trick of the mind that is designed to bury unpleasant things. It potentially signals a process of stagnation, death, or decay of the mind, the logical conclusion of which is... emptiness. Whether this is true for you, only you can say.

2) According to the principles of type development as I understand them, a tertiary function cannot develop before an auxiliary function. I don't know where you got the idea. According to my experience doing type assessments, anyone who makes this claim is usually not as aware of the tertiary function's operations as they believe they are. This means you could be much more susceptible to tertiary loop than you realize. If that's the case, the path you're on might not be taking you toward but away from growth.

For example, as I hear you describe your state of mind, there are some hints of intellectualization, a common symptom of Ni-Ti loop. Intellectualization slices up and reduces the whole world into a collection of oversimplified concepts, which leads one to believe that everything is known and under control. Intellectualization is a popular defense mechanism because it allows a person to believe they are being perfectly rational in their thinking, beliefs, and judgments. Intellectualization is designed to mute feelings and emotions in a way that feels much more "legitimate" or "acceptable" or "evolved" than other brute-force methods like denial, repression, or suppression. Of course, the end result of muting feelings and emotions is, yes, you guessed it, emptiness. Whether this is true for you, only you can say.

3) You repeated several times the need to "speak", because you believe it is one potential way of feeling more full, a means to address the emptiness. This might indicate some kind of lack or deficit in your sense of identity.

Drawing from point #1 above, if your mind has indeed stagnated, it could also mean your sense of self is stagnated, which isn't conducive to growth. Drawing from point #2 above, if you are engaging in intellectualization, it means you are not granting your voice/identity full freedom to speak/exist. Put these two things together and you now inexplicably feel an impulse to express something, but you don't know what, because you've become too closed off to that aspect of yourself.

.

You've basically asked me to critically examine your thought process, but I don't like to do anything to poo-poo people's feeling of progress. The journey to knowing oneself is very long and winding. Beware that, sometimes, when you believe wholeheartedly that you understand something, it actually indicates your mind is closed to new learning, which means losing opportunities to grow. If you think you've got yourself or life figured out, especially at a young age, then you're most likely deceiving yourself. However, this is not a bad thing. It is through meeting these hurdles and tripping into these crevices that we realize we're off track, which is an opportunity to course correct. For Ns, it is through getting slapped by reality that they realize the true extent of their fantasy. When you're ready to see the truth, it will reveal itself. Until then, all you can do is live your life the best way you know how, just like everyone else.

#infj #emptiness #apathy #intellectualization #ask

[witchthewriter]

tag game: stranger things edition

Thank you @maniac-maniac-maniac for tagging me!

Btw anyone can play if they want to! Don't feel like you have to wait to be tagged 🦋

Ride or die ship (your otp)

I- I don't really have one... I don't like Mike and El; she's on another level. I think I have to ship a couple, it would be Argle and Jonathan?? Or Robin and Vickie. Oh! Robin and Nancy!

Most annoying ship

Mike and El... I hate how she feels as if she isn't good enough for him while she is literally the main character? And I can't have El being insecure because my girl is BITCHIN' 👏👏👏

Second favourite ship

Me and Eddie <3 <;3 <3

Favourite platonic relationship

STEVE AND ROBIN! They are platonic SOULMATES! Absolutely amazing chemistry by the actors.

Underrated ship

Joyce and Jim; they were already Mother ™ and Father ™ even before going on their date at Enzos.

Overrated ship

Mike and El, AND Steve and Nancy. I mean I do like the trope of Female Character Has Big Ambitions with Boyfriend Who Has None. But Steve and Nancy are too dissimilar. As well as Nancy and Jonathan - there is no chemistry there.

One thing I would change in canon

Eddie's death duh.

Something canon did right

... Introduce Eddie, I'm SORRY I'm being annoying but c'mon he is the best thing about the goddamn show. It was boring for me before.

A thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom PLEASE BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF I WANT TO SEE/READ YOUR ART

It's so old, but my Vampire!Eddie Boyfriend headcanons. Looking back it could do with a lot of editing, but the idea that Eddie was actually turned into a vampire because of the bat bites was brilliant (credit to whoever came up with that first).

A character who is perfect to me (wouldn't change a thing)

I got TWO, season 1-3 Hopper, because I really loved his whole punch first ask questions later. And his weight, I loved his weight. I think his weightloss in season 4 wasn't just for Stranger Things, I think he genuinely wanted to be skinnier. Which ... I mean his body his rules, but I loved him more when he was heavier tbh.

And OBVIOUSLY EDDIE. HOW DID THEY COME UP WITH THE PERFECT CHARACTER?! They could have made him a one, maybe even two sided drug dealer who couldn't graduate high school. But no, he has so much heart and SOFTNESS. I actually fell in love with him after the cafeteria scene, when he was with Chrissy. He just became this caring, open, kind guy who also had a LUNCHBOX full of fcking DRUGS.

The character I relate to the most and why

You already hate me by now because I've spoken about Eddie so much, but yeah ... Eddie. It's one of the reasons why he's so well-loved. The outsider, the one everyone thinks is weird - I think all can relate on one level or another. Especially growing up ... not so well off. Seeing Eddie live in a trailer but he's still so popular; it gives a lot of gratification (if that's the right word?)

Character(-s) I hate the most and why

Mr Wheeler - he is literally such a shITTY DAD. WTF. In his daily life he doesn't care about his family, or show any interest in them.

STEVE'S PARENTS - WHERE ARE THEY? WHAT ARE THEY DOING? I mean they could be travelling for work but that's still neglect.

Billy - if he wasn't a good looking character no one would like him. In the original script he was actually supposed to called Lucas the n-word because he's racist. And in the scenes with Lucas, there are underlying motifs that show his racism. So, yeah, I hate racists.

Martin Brenner aka Papa. Motherf*cking asshole.

Something I've learned from the fandom

Um... that the majority of us really love big-haired, soft-hearted, drug dealers? I mean okay, I don't really get into fandoms anymore because of bad past experiences. I guess what I've learnt then, is that everyone has their own opinion - doesn't mean yours is wrong or any less valid.

Three tags i seek out on ao3

I don't go on Ao3 a lot, but Hopper, basically just Hopper omg ahahha. Or soulmate AU.

A song I strongly associate with my otp/favourite character

I gots no songs I associate with my otp but I do for Eddie - The Sails of Chiron by Scorpions. It's a bit of rock but also ... really sensual?? I found it because Eddie made me fall in love with 80s heavy rock.

No pressure tagging: @sardonic-the-writer.

#tagging game #tag game #tag game stranger things #stranger things #eddie munson #joyce byers #lucas sinclair #will byers #nancy wheeler #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #steve harrington #robin buckley

[redpool]

Liveblog of the Teen Wolf: The Movie

Yeah that a great place to store the most powerful enemy you've ever had

That was the whitest Japanese I've ever heard

Who the fuck are you

Ok darth vader, chill out

This is the worst thing I have ever watched

Oh my god

No

Just no

Jesus

Dude, what the fuck?

Swearing??

I hate it here

Still don't like her

ELI!!!!

Jordan?? Why are you still here?

Mason's a cop now? Why.

DEREK IS A OFFICALLY A DILF

Dude, that was so unnecessary

Dude, that was so unnecessary pt 2

And you're holding hands why?

That was not a two person job

I hate you all

Exactly, why are you here?

Why are you explaining what the nemeton is? We already know????

Eli, that was unnecessary

Derek seems like the best dad

He's a shithead

And a smartass

And also a dumbass

Is it just me or is the a ting really bad?

Oh God, I know what's about to happen.

I'm not mentally prepared for what's about to happen

I dont want to see Ryan's ass

I have been subjected to so many naked bodies over the past week, I'm over it.

EW

I HATE IT HERE

WHERE DID THE RELATIONSHIP COME FROM???

THEYVE NEVER EVEN SAID TWO WORDS TO EACHOTHER

Awww, he's trying to be a good dad

Can you put your pants on please

Does this relationship actually bring anything to the plot?

*eyeroll*

Jesus christ

Why are they acting like they've never been there before??

Seriously, why.

Um ok riddler calm down

Oh, never mind

Have you just learnt to swear??

Umm??

Bonding moment?

Are we not going to talk about that???

Yeah, Eli and Derek are the only good thing about this movie.

What the fuck

Have I mentioned that I hate it here?

Umm

Wow, they really are using that r rating to the fullest, huh.

Why is she naked.

She didn't die naked, so why is she naked?

Umm

Oh

COACH!!!!!

Why am I doing this to myself

Best scene in that whole movie

The lip filler on this one

Why are her nails painted and done perfectly??

Are you kidding me?

You're going to tell me that Allison, who just came back from the dead, can beat a werecoyote, two police officers AND a true alpha?

Um ew

Dramatic ass

Ok bro, you are over acting rn

What the actual fuck

Why are you walking like that?

Mother?

Liar liar

Lol

Oh my god

Jesus

She went straight for the head

What

You're going to sit there and tell me that a human woman is stronger than a at full health werewolf?

Kitsune really said 🧍🏻‍♀️

Just heal? Why aren't you healing?

'Yeah, but I'm a good demon.' yeah bby you are

BOO BITCH

WHY HAVE YOU NOT HEALED?

I've witnessed the Derek Hale take worse hits then that and walk around like its nothing.

Ok, that was pretty cool.

Why are they taking out normal humans?

PETER

You've been spending too much time with cowboys

Jesus christ.

You two just need to kiss already

No, it's Kira. You need Kira. You don't need Lydia, you need Kira.

What in the CGI fuck was that

I seriously hate it here.

I really dont give a shit

Lady, you dont even know this child.

Her quiver was literally just empty.

Oh my god

*deep sigh*

Are Tyler Hoechlin and Ian Bohen the only actor that continued a ting after Teen Wolf ended?

You're such a shit-stirrer Peter

It should have been you, instead of Brett & Lori.

Oop, she ded

Oh, they got dusted.

Why did I just gasp?

Oh ok, just throw him down the stairs why don't you.

Oh my god

NOW SPARTA KICK HIM

Are you an idiot?

That was so unnecessary pt 3

Yeah like I cant fucking see the puddle of blood sitting right there.

I'm so uncomfortable

How has the acting gotten worse?

You guys are fully grown werewolves, it's a piece of fucking rope.

I didn't care about your relationship then and I still don't now.

It's the fucking teacher isn't it.

I miss Brett so much. Isaac too.

You're getting to Joker rn dude.

PROTECTIVE DAD DEREK

How has the eye cgi gotten worse?

Called it

That's so sad

Has everyone in this movie just forgotten how to act?

Yeah, I really dont care.

Yeah, that's not how it works bruh

See, should have recruited Peter ages ago.

YOU STUPID BITCH

HE BETTER BE OK, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

Missed you Jords

How tf would you know?

Do the roar

Holy fuck

Fully body goosebumps rn

Oh shit

Oof

Umm what?

He's a unicorn

Bout fucking time

That was so fucking cool

Ew, no.

Jesus fucking christ

I see some Johnny Cage in you Sheriff.

Umm ew

You look like a really fucked up seal

Please shift back. Your wolf faces are really ugly.

Jordan, can you please do something.

'You can't catch me! I'm the ginger bread man.'

Gets worse everytime.

Headbutt

Jords, had him just fine. Derek didn't have to sacrifice himself.

Unnecessary death so it doesn't count.

What is with the writers and burning the Hales.

AND IN FRONT OF HIS CHILD AND PERVIOUSLY BURNT UNCLE????

Bullshit

That didn't happen. Derek is fine.

Get out of my fucking house.

Ew

That didn't happen either.

I fucking hate you.

You're full on making me cry rn.

Pretty sure Derek was the first teen wolf character I ever liked, this hits deep.

Oh honey

No.

You seriously think that Peter and Cora would let Allison and Scott raise that child?

Ew, stop.

Have fun in hell bitch.

Am I supposed to know who that is?

Eli, what the fuck are you doing?

#teen wolf #teen wolf the movie #liam dunbar #eli hale #derek hale #scott mccall #lydia martin #peter hale #alan deaton #chris argent #melissa mccall #nogitsune #malia tate #jordan parrish #allison argent #sheriff stilinski

[koskela-knights]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. ♥

<33 Thank you for the ask!!

Surprise (not), the Koskela playlist from my Spotify 😏

TLDR, the 5 songs are:

Heroes and Villains by PoTF

The Enemy by Andrew Belle

Achilles by GARETH FERNANDEZ

Crosses by José González

Don't Let Me Go by RAIGN

Now for a more detailed explanation on why all these songs are in my Koskela (and Huotari) list and what prominent lyrics/vibes make me think of them.

1. Heroes and Villains by Poets of the Fall

"We're heroes and villains by chance Heroes and villains by choice"

I think that sums up their role as Cult leaders. Villains to some, heroes to others even if many may not know/understand it. They chose to villainize themselves to keep their home safe.

2. The Enemy by Andrew Belle

This song was recommended after I added 'Pieces' by the same artist in this list.

"Don't try to follow me I would Hold you down if I could Make you the enemy I would Let you down"

idk, this part gives me Jaako & Ilmo vibes. Their relationship to each other, how they can be each other's downfall if not balanced out. (I think echo! Ilmo is an interesting case as what could become of Ilmo if he lost Jaakko much earlier)

"I hold you down I hold you down I hold you"

Then there's this part in the song. And what's interesting to me here, is that I can hear 'I hold you' as different things too. Either 'I hurt you' or 'I haunt you'. Which sums up the last scene of the brothers together. Getting Jaakko involved, made him end up dead (I know this is a really short-sighted observation, but I bet Ilmo feels super guilty about the Cult thing.) And 'I haunt you' is Ilmo post-Jaakko's death being haunted by his shadow and memories.

3. Achilles by GARETH FERNDANDEZ

"I want something I can touch Something I can feel I learnt that my pride is my Achilles heel And when my time is up You know my love was real"

This one's an Ilmo song to me now (used to only have it in my regular playlists lol) Again, set post-Jaakko's death where he's left with survivor's guilt and realizes that all his pride and prideful endeavors mean nothing when the most important person in his world is gone. Only after Jaakko's death, does he realize how much he loved him and how inseparable they were.

"Set me free angel from my nightmare I woke up in this hell too many times Maybe we were never meant to make it I take these words and set 'em on fire"

This line of "too many times" in particular also stood out to me becos it could imply the spiral and being aware of the spiral (self-promo right here: loop/spiral awareness is smth I've written some short drabbles/oneshots for in the past becos it's such intriguing concept)

4. Crosses by José González

"The streets outside your window over-flooded People staring. They know you've been broken Repeatedly reminded by the looks on their faces Ignore them tonight and you'll be alright We'll cast some light and you'll be alright"

Recommended to me by @zephyrone01 This is a Huotari brothers song. POV of Jaakoppi to Ilmari. This matches up with our "Ilmari was possessed by the DP and people in town got suspicious of him" idea.

5. Don't Let Me Go by RAIGN

"Carry me close like the tear drops in your eyes All I can give you is memories Carry them with you and I'll never leave

Don't let me go Hold me in your beating heart"

Another song recommended by Zephyrone01 hehe. It's a powerful song to me 👀 The Angst!!! This specific part would be a Jaakko POV "I won't let go Forever is not enough"

And this would be Ilmo's POV. Anyways, many songs in this playlist are about memories, echoes, darkness & light and moving on and not wanting to live without the other 💔

#i listen to this list daily and get hit in the feels every single time #anon ask #ask #my posts #my ramblings #and it's a long rambling too #koskela brothers #huotari brothers #jaakko koskela #ilmo koskela #jaakoppi huotari #ilmari huotari #personal

[shoulderscars]

If you had told 13 year old me that I would be invested in music, both my violin and songwriting/producing, actually did a //sport// (that isn't intimidating, I love skiing AH) and *enjoyed it,* had a stable, loving relationship with all my family, and am settled in the outside appearance of who I am right now... Well. I don't know what she would do that girl was a fricken mess.

And I'm sure I could play this game ten years from now and also be shook... it's just. Sometimes I feel like there is an ever-present ticking behind me, which (news flash for everyone) there is, but being content is not the end of the world. I could go on for many many essays about how settling religion in my heart is just a struggle, and how balancing outside life and who I am is hella hard, but at the end of the day... I can be content in my life and still in crisis.

(there's a cut so I don't waste your scroll time lol)

This year has been... A lot. Around this time last year I was very severely SH-ing, and it was just a bad loop I was in. And I've experienced AMAZING things this summer, and been to places I can even process in hindsight. I've learnt balance, and figured out why my relationship with food is so hard, and how I need to start going about my eating life in light of that. But, a lot does not have to always be bad. I've learnt about parts of my mind (TALKING ABOUT YOU IRRATIONAL FEAR) that I didn't know I had. Also that I like rom-coms.

For every shitty moment that happened in this past year I can LITERALLY FEEL how much sharper my brain is now than before. LITERALLY FEEL IT. And I'm... yk, I'm not actually sure what emotion I'm feeling but I'm just overjoyed to be content.

No, I don't need to fit into a body type I don't have (yes, I do need to learn my triggers, and work with myself to get into a better physical state)

No, I cannot be neutral in my war against myself and a clash of worldviews that I somehow //know// will be beautiful someday.

Anyway.

There were 2 major deaths in the peripheral of my life last year, and I've both understood that grief and losing someone is hard, but it opens doors.

And of course, there is a ticking clock, and I need to be more aware of it in a not paranoid way.

SO.

this was gonna be a skiing appreciation post, but then it just became a year in review post.... So HEH ENJOY THE TEA FRIENDS

hugs hugs hugs!

<33

(P.S. I have the best big sister in the world. Everyone understand, sometime in May some not so great things happened online to my bestest greatest sister in the world, and I think if I don't say this i would have failed my public school training: there are people behind the usernames. Real people. So before you go calling someone some name, or even saying that they aren't a real fan, just think about it. After all, we aren't as important as we think we are.)

(P.P.S. I WAS GONNA SAY IN THE LAST PARAGRAPH THAT MY SISTER IS THE BEST AND I LOVE HER TO DEATH BUT I GOT DISTRACTED LOL. My sister is literally amazing. I love her so much. And I know the next... 3? (it's 2 and I know it but I'm tryna be hopeful) years are gonna be really different that the last however long we've been in this "we are besties and no one can stop us" phase. And I love you. LITERALLY SO MUCH. and you are gonna be a super duper duper duper good nurse. Cause your the super duper duper duper duperistist bestest greatest biggest sisterist everist. Love you @redpiperfox <33)

(P.P.P.S. would anyone read my year in reading reviews? I read books this year, and I wrote reviews on them and and and.... id love to share 🥺 TELL ME IF YOU'D READ IT PLEASE!!!)

(P.P.P.P.S. ok good night for real now)

#year in review #i don't remember writing this #And with that the 2023 season comes to a close #SKIING IS AMAZING #i love my violin #I love my violin like my child #Same goes for my skis #j's irrational fear #a series of j's irrational fears

[khaleesiofalicante]

Dani I need to vent about something. I hope I'm not intruding.

My college just started and while my social life is thriving and it's a lot of fun, there are so many things that are so fucking toxic. There are all these customs and rules that people adhere too when it comes to seniors.

Like we have to call our seniors sir and ma'am and wish them whenever we run into them. And apparently we're not supposed to ask their names directly and we can't look them in the eye.

And like I don't have a problem calling them sir or ma'am or wishing them or showing respect. But they scold you if you forget to do it and are so fucking rude. My friend didn't notice someone and so didn't wish her and so she asked him if he's blind or mute (derogatory). It was such a toxic thing to do and he was incredibly hurt.

This is something a lot of people have been experiencing. They even asked some of the boys to sort of bow when they wish them.

There are a lot of strict Anti Ragging rules in our college but idk if this is something that is covered by it. And these people are treating us like inferiors and are always patronizing us. It's very demeaning.

And also another of my friends didn't come today because he was sick and some seniors asked us to tell him to call them and apologize because they think he made a complaint about them (he didn't). And he's decided to stay home for a couple of days. He told me that it's because he's unwell but I think he's scared.

Also this same friend usually hangs out with girls and talks in a way that people make fun of. And a lot of people have been making derogatory comments about his gender and sexuality. When he expressed an interest to be the leader of Gender Champs (its a club about gender equality and everything else related to gender) this guy asked him 'which gender will you represent?' It's all so so hurtful and weird and toxic. Obviously not everyone is like this. But it's very hurtful when all of this happens.

Sorry if this was all too long. I just needed to get it off my chest. I'm having a great time at college and have made friends that I can really see myself having a great relationship with and there is already so much that I've learnt about it the past week and have so much that I'm looking forward to. I even attended this webinar about modern sex education that talked about a lot of things that I'm very curious about and wanted to learn (I've never had the chance to talk about any of this before with people who're from my own country and environment). And we also have to make this research project that I'm very excited about and have already started preparing for. Overall I'm having the time of my life. But this attitude of some of our seniors has been very off putting and stressful and i hope that it gets better soon and no one gets hurt.

Hey, Yana.

Thank you for telling me this. This is unfortunately way too common in many local universities in South Asia. It is 100% ragging and part of the culture. Despite the anti-ragging rules, this kind of behavior is incredibly normalized and even the lecturers and staff have accepted it as the norm. What surprises me the most is how this toxicity continues year after year and people never seem to learn from it. But I hope it will get better too.

This is not good advice but please do keep your head down and stay away from these people as much as you can. I've never found fighting these 'bullies' to be effective because it's not a behavioral issue but rather a systematic one. Having a group of friends in your uni whom you can talk to about this - and also hang out in groups so you won't be targeted or isolated by these assholes - would be helpful. But please know you are always welcome to come here and talk to me about it.

I'm really glad to hear you're having a great time otherwise and meeting a lot of like-minded people! Yay to sex education and good luck with your research project! 💙

#yana banana

[boba-beom]

DING DING DING! congrats! you are correct!

it's one way for me to socialize with you guys because of

(1) how fast you guys are speaking in discord (ngl i kinda feel left out a lot of times) especially with me waking up to find 200-1000 comments that i have to mute the group chat worrying about my phone battery

(2) how i live on the other side of the world so i can't to you guys as much without losing sleep.

other than that, i hope you learn more about me.

also, me only using youtube and tumblr as my social media platforms is because of the bad relationship i had with others social media platforms. i don't use tiktok at all because of the oversaturation and seeing people around me obsessing about tiktok challenges that it turns me off from joining. i also quit instagram because i use to compare myself with others, even with my friend circle. i also have other social medias like snapchat, facebook, and others i couldn't think about but deleted it because i don't use them anymore, while i used to be active on kpop stan twt before the toxicity comes to me but i still own it because it relates to the monthly minecraft event that i watched lmao. so i delete social media to detox myself and delete myself form the internet as best as i could so that people could only find me based on my internet persona.

i am back on instagram but purely so that i could open a portfolio page for the gfx designs i made for my hellsite fics and others...

do you have any leftover questions you want me to answer???

p.s. hope you're having fun with the cloudbusting fic you're planning. ngl i didn't think you'll be doing it for real hehe

-🐝

WHOOP I knew my inkling was right! it wouldn't leave me :>

I understand and I'm sorry about that :< I know the group chat blows up so much and time zones are difficult but we do love having you there when you come on! <3

I have definitely learnt a lot about you , considering we have a google spread with all the hits you gave us collectively hehe I get where you're coming from in terms of social media and I think if that's what helps and is better for you then it that's good, you know? I had a social media detox at one point too with only tumblr being my only social but I've been alright everywhere, I just usually dip after I go on it. sometimes social media isn't for everything so I understand!

no question actually, but I just wanna say that you answering your own anon ask threw me off because that was the only thing that held me back from not suspecting you hehe it was fun nonetheless!

I just can't believe that I was super late to catch on that bee is in beabadoobee T^T things came to pretty late because I was busy with family, friends and packing the past week but literally the other night I managed to give myself time to search, link and piece together these things :> it was fun honestly, really pieced these things at 2AM hehe

OMG so I watched palm springs and it's interesting, I just don't know if I would make a long fic based on the movie, a short scenario from the movie (like when the song comes on, but idk how I would write about that without writing a long fic) or I'll just listen to the song and figure out what scenario to write about, but from listening to it a few times it does sound dreamy. still just gonna think of a scenario :> I'll figure it out ^^

thanks again lissie it was fun getting to interact with you this way! just know that you're very much loved in the gc! and in general, you're amazing and so are your works, it's an acquired taste <3

#lissie ᡣ𐭩 #writingmochi ᡣ𐭩 #🐝 anon #[ 🧸 ] — mutuals. #[ 🪴 ] — asks.