#also people are eating imperfect pasta as we speak
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sixteen is the age at which all things become impossibly hard, annoying, and beautiful
this morning, after upending the last ten days of my life in a big red cart and pushing it halfway across campus to the next six weeks of the same old shit i had the pleasure of watching someone move into the room across the hallway, and as their dad walked past me, carrying a bottle of detergent that looked like it had eaten the souls of four other bottles of detergent and a mega-kilowatt smile, it occurred to me with a strange sense of providence that i hadn't spoken face-to-face with an adult in four months. then i remembered that i was also an adult. then i had to go lie down.
the same things surprise me every day. the number of fingers on each hand. the way the streetlights click to life when the sky gets dark enough to eat the shadows on your arms. my age: a distorted number, like something made by a slipped finger on a wet phone screen. twenty. why not two? why not nothing at all?
summer is, increasingly, beginning to look like an exercise in distances. first there is the distance between my old dormitory and my new. if you cut through the parking lot in front of the stem of the mushroom and follow the path all the way to its end, underneath the train station and past the fringes of the college town we named after ourselves, you will find yourself in front of a set of three dark gray buildings. each building contains six apartment suites and each suite houses between five and six students. this summer, not all of them are full. but you can always count on college students to find a way to fill an empty room. with sounds, with bottles, with bodies. dead bodies. dancing, singing, texting bodies. we're a versatile bunch.
i have neighbors now. is this a bad thing? no. but i am trying to be a different version of myself, and in order to become that person i need to be left alone to fester like a bad wound on a fucked-up arm until the wound grows large enough that it envelops the arm and then the person, too, after which a period of thick wet silence will elapse, followed by some country music, and then-
the novel. this afternoon i sat down with a pen and a blank page in my notebook and made a list of my favorite stories. what is it about the way some people talk about other people that makes my elbows hurt? what causes the soul to shiver? i scratched bullet-points into the paper and stared at them until lines appeared between the dots, until the dots looked like constellations. then i walked the mile to target with a friend whose voice reminds me of the sound a clear glass vase makes when you rub it with alcohol. we bought some stuff. like pasta. and pasta sauce. and three knives.
to choose to write a novel is to speak to another person for a long, long time.
some questions from my notes this afternoon include: do i want a moving story or a story that stays in place? what are the parameters/where does the sandbox end? how dark? how much pain?
to choose to write a novel is to decide your head is a pleasant enough place to build a pillow fort. and i am going to build a pillow fort. what kind of pillow fort will it be? we do not know. how will we deal with the fact that after three months of growing towards the sun and occasionally screaming at it my eyes have been fried out of my head, like eggs except overcooked to the point of imperfection, and i no longer care to see what the light touches? we do not know. some people move between cities; others move between bodies, like shapeshifters without a place to call home. i move between being lonely to the point of death, and alone.
standing in front of the fresh produce section this evening with a lemon in one hand and a saucepan in the other, my friend smiled. first at the lemon, then, when she looked up for long enough to catch my eye, at me.
'this feels like adulthood, doesn't it?'
i put a bag of mandarins in my basket and laughed.
06.05.21
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1.24
i am back! to recap last chapter we met flos, a king with a large personality who is apparently a king of destruction
The darkness hides many imperfections. The nether shade conceals those who find the sun taxing and bright light an anathema. The faint light that is not truest blackness but dark shade, where only faint outlines are visible conjures nightmares for humans and those related to their kind.
But some call the shadows home.
Two individuals stood and conversed in the darkness of a room. Exactly where the room was located was unimportant. Rooms had little meaning here, in the catacombs and endless labyrinth of passages.
One of them was female. The other was Klbkch. The female shifted and in the darkness her deep voice rumbled through the air.
“Do I understand you correctly, Klbkch? Do you truly call for an Expedition after all the folly that has resulted thus far?”
Klbkch shook his head.
“No, my lady. I merely request that a few of the Workers—perhaps ten or twenty—may be allowed to leave the city in my care. They would visit a local inn for several hours before returning.”
“Interesting.”
The word rolled outwards, rich, darkly velvet with hidden connotation and meaning. The female paused.
“Is this an idea of yours, dear Klbkch? Dare I hope that my Prognugator has changed so?”
Klbkch shook his head.
“I remain as always, lady. I regret that this is not my initiative. She – the innkeeper of which I spoke – she requested it of me.”
Surprise flicked through the female’s deep voice as it echoed in the cavernous chamber.
“She did? What species would desire the presence of Workers if not to work?”
“A Human. And she did not ask for the Workers specifically. Rather, she was inclined to sell a foodstuff to our people. Acid flies. She wishes to earn money by gaining our business.”
“And this Human is genuine?”
“To the best of my knowledge and ability, I believe her so.”
Again, surprise was the primary emotion in the female’s voice.
“You, Prognugator? You believe? Then you are changed, truly. What is the name of this Human who has changed you so?”
Klbkch hesitated. He bowed his head in the direction of the female.
“Her name is Erin Solstice, lady. And I believe—yes, I believe the experience may help further the Plan. At the very least, it would help increase her trust of our kind.”
“And why should I entertain her request?”
Klbkch spread his hands outward. They were humanoid hands, at least in that they resembled them more than an insect’s feelers. The same could not be said of the appendages of the female.
“Has the Plan changed? Do we no longer seek to improve relations with other species?”
The female moved in the darkness. Her voice changed, hissing softly in regret and frustration.
“The Plan has not changed, Klbkch. But we have. And not in the ways that we desire. No; the change comes from the Others. They have begun to again question the Plan.”
Klbkch looked up. His hands moved unconsciously to the twin swords at his waist.
“They question your will, lady?”
She waved a languid feeler at him.
“Not as of such. Calm yourself, my champion. My authority is undiminished. And yet. The Others move, Klbkch. They speak of sending out envoys, of raising an army.”
The male Antinium looked up sharply. The antennae on his head twitched.
“Do you mean to say they intend to repeat the First Experiments? If I may offer my counsel, that would be…unwise.”
She nodded in the blackness.
“Yes. But they grow impatient with time. So their foolishness may yet come to pass if something is not done. That is why I will allow this risk. Take twelve Workers. Let them visit this Solstice child.”
Klbkch knelt on one segmented knee.
“Thank you, my lady. I will not betray your trust in me.”
A great sigh echoed through the room, shifting Klbkch’s antennas as the air moved.
“Of that I have no doubt. But I need more than your loyalty. Klbkchhezeim of the Free. I must have success. Can you promise me that?”
He was still as he knelt before her. Then Klbkch looked up and shook his head slowly.
“I cannot. But I will try.”
“Very well. Try, then.”
Klbkch nodded. He stood, and began to stride out of the room with quick, light movements.
“Klbkch.”
He turned. In the darkness a large feeler pointed at him and a titanic shape moved.
“You must not fail in this task. Too long has the Plan faltered. If the next few generations should fail, I fear more will fall back into the old ways.”
Klbkch bowed his head.
“I will ensure that all goes well, my lady. Erin Solstice is not hostile to our kind. I believe she will be a positive influence for them.”
“Then go. But there is one more thing I ask of you.”
“Yes, my lady?”
“Ahem. These flies…how do they taste?”
“I shall bring you a sample, my Queen.”
“Good.”
none of those capitalized terms used, ie: expiedition, others, plan, experiment, ect, are ever used again. this is still an antinium queen, just not the most powerful one. also, will erin get this queen addicted to the flies?
Erin was making a list.
“Okay, do I have everything? Let’s go over it again. Larder? Stocked. Check! Silverware? Lots of it, even if it’s not silver. Check!”
She turned and bustled over to another table.
“Blue fruit juice? Check. Four full pitchers and a basket of blue fruits.”
She’d stripped several trees in preparation for tonight. At this point, she’d eaten nearly half of the fruit in the orchard. Sooner or later she’d run out of blue fruit, which might be a problem. How long did it take for the trees to grow new fruit? Maybe Pisces would know.
“Acid flies? Check. Dead? Double check.”
It was almost sad how easily she caught them in her floating jar traps. Almost. Erin made sure they’d all exploded before she rolled them onto the grass. She thought the flat fish in the water were helping—they kept bumping into the jars trying to eat the flies. She supposed that they might one day break the thick glass.
“Great. Bathe upstream from the glass jars from now on.”
She should also probably put warning signs up. Who they might be warning Erin had no idea. A certain Human necromancer stayed well away from the glass jars, and she wasn’t sure if Goblins could read. Either way, her list continued.
“Pasta? Wait, I don’t need any pasta.”
Unless Relc dropped by. But from what the Drake told her, he didn’t like Antinium besides Klbkch so that was an outside chance. Erin put a pot on the stove anyways. She could always eat it.
The lovely thing about being near a city was that you didn’t have to make your own pasta. Instead, you could just buy it from an odd Gnoll-lady who knew exactly when you were on your period. In other words, there were advantages and disadvantages to living near a city.
“Okay. That’s about it. I’ve got bread in case Pisces comes by, and I even have cheese. Lovely, smelly cheese. Possibly from cows. And I just bet Klbkch is lactose intolerant too.”
Her larder was fully stocked, her plates and cups were clean, and she’d even gotten out the chess board and set it up. She thought Klbkch might be up for a game or two—that was if she wasn’t busy feeding flies to her customers.
For a moment Erin had to put her head against a wall and wonder how she’d gotten to this point in her life. A girl from Michigan should not think it was normal to sell dead fly torsos to walking ant-people for silver coins. She was also probably ripping them off, but Klbkch seemed willing to pay whatever it took for the flies. He’d eaten six bowls before he’d walked out.
Now all Erin had to do was wait until Klbkch came by with his promised friends. He said they’d come by as soon as they finished with their work. Were they all guardsmen? Erin had forgotten to ask.
Someone knocked on the inn’s door. Erin turned and opened the door with a big smile.
smiles are good. also no, antinium are just allergic to gluten, not lactose
“Hi Klb—oh.”
The group of Goblins all took a nervous step back as Erin stared down at them. The eight—no, nine of them clustered together and shoved at their leader, a small Goblin wearing rags. Erin remembered.
“It’s—it’s you. Do you um, want something?”
The ragged Goblin awkwardly thrust out a hand at Erin. She blinked down at the pile of dirty copper and silver coins in the small palm.
“Oh. Oh! You want to eat, right?”
The Goblin nodded stiffly. Erin opened the door and gestured inside.
“Right then, come in.”
The ragged Goblin hesitated. It thrust the coins at her.
“Um. The first meal is free.”
The Goblin Erin had decided to name Rags looked blankly at her. Apparently ‘free’ wasn’t too easy to understand to a race that took what they wanted. Everything was free, or nothing was free.
“How about I take the money and I’ll feed you until it runs out, okay?”
Again, Erin received a blank look but Rags seemed relieved when she took the money. Erin gingerly put the filthy pile of coins on the inn’s bar counter and wished she had hot water to go with the soap.
“Okay. Right. This isn’t the best time, but why don’t you have a seat over here with your friends?”
The Goblins meekly wandered over to the table Erin was pointing at and sat down. She hesitated. What next?
“Right, food.”
All eight heads shot up and the Goblins stared at Erin. The one she’d fed before was already drooling onto the table.
“Give me five—ten minutes and I’ll have all you can eat. I just need to put on another pot. And make some soup. But I’ve got bread!”
Erin turned. Okay, she’d stuff their faces quick. She dashed into the kitchen and reemerged with a loaf of fresh bread she’d brought and some cheese and sausage. The Goblins stared hungrily as Erin began dumping plates in front of them. They flinched back from her, though, and when she handed them a fork they ducked down as if they thought she were going to stab them with it.
“You can eat this while I get more food, okay?”
The Goblins stared at the food. Rags cautiously reached for the bread, and Erin smacked her head. All the Goblins flinched as one.
“Oh, duh. Sorry about that. I’ll slice it up for you.”
Confused, the Goblins watched Erin dart into the kitchen again. They eyed the wonderful-smelling bread, meat and strange yellow thing, and wondered if they could eat it. Then they looked up and screamed as Erin walked back into the room with a kitchen knife.
“Oh no, don’t run! I’m not going to hurt you!”
Erin waved her hands frantically and nearly poked herself with the knife. The Goblins halted in their mad rush out the door.
“I’m just going to cut this food for you. See?”
She slowly and carefully went over to the food and sliced it up into smaller pieces. Erin smiled at the Goblins as they suspiciously moved back to the table.
“And now I’ll put the knife away. No more pointy thing. You don’t have to worry; you’ll be safe here. Okay?”
She gave them another reassuring smile. That was the precise moment when a group of Antinium entered the inn, followed closely by Klbkch. Erin’s smile froze on her lips.
awkward moment. also this goblin is important
Klbkch froze too and the other tall, identical brown and black insects behind him instantly halted in their tracks. The Goblins were petrified in their seats, but half immediately began edging towards the nearest window.
Erin waved frantically at Klbkch. Then she turned towards the Goblins and gave them another reassuring smile.
“Don’t worry! Don’t worry. These people aren’t here to hurt you. They’re guests. They’re going to eat too, understand?”
They hesitated, but Rags seemed to be made of sterner stuff than her larger comrades. She returned to her seat. And it was a she, Erin was sure of it. The other Goblins—all but one of whom were boys—didn’t wear anything on their upper torso. They barely wore anything to cover their privates.
She shepherded them back to their seats and tried not to look at Goblin nether regions as their loincloths shifted in unfortunate ways. There was a reason pants were invented.
“Go ahead and eat as much as you want.”
Again, the Goblins glanced nervously at the Antinium, but now the initial scare was over, the fresh food called to them. There was a moment’s hesitation, then Rags grabbed a piece of sausage and the Goblins began gobbling all the food on the table with their hands.
She winced at the mess, but at least they were occupied. Erin edged back to Klbkch, who was still waiting with his group of Antinium.
“Hi, Klbkch. Sorry about the confusion. I had a few visitors pop by unexpectedly.”
“There is no problem, Miss Solstice. I have brought others of my kind as you requested.”
Klbkch nodded to Erin and gestured to the silent Antinium behind him. Erin eyed her new guests somewhat apprehensively.
They were like Klbkch, and not like him at the same time. They were like each other though. Erin couldn’t tell one from the other, and all twelve of these other Antinium stood and moved like one unit.
She noticed that they were a bit slimmer than Klbkch, and shorter too. The color of their…carapace was distinctly browner, and they had shorter antennae. And they also seemed disinclined to talk. Each one of the Antinium stared at Klbkch rather than look at Erin.
“Are they—are they your friends? Or other guardsmen?”
Klbkch shook his head.
“I am afraid you are under a misapprehension. These are Workers, Miss Solstice. They are not fellow guardsmen – rather, they perform tasks within the Antinium section of the city. I took them because you wished for more customers, but I have not interacted with them before.”
“Oh.”
“They will behave themselves under my supervision, Miss Solstice.”
Klbkch hurried to assure Erin. He turned towards the standing group of Worker Antinium and pointed to one of the tables.
“You have entered an inn. The polite protocol is to introduce oneself and then take a seat. I will handle your greetings. Move to those tables.”
They obediently walked over to each table. At first they all crowded around one, but Klbkch impatiently directed them so the Antinium stood four to a table.
“Sit!”
Klbkch snapped at the other Antinium. They instantly sat in the chairs. Erin’s smile slipped even further as Klbkch began ordering them about with curt, clipped commands.
He treated the other Antinium like—well, like sheep. Or…like children. Idiotic children you couldn’t trust to pick up a fork without stabbing themselves in the eye. Yes, that was it.
Erin watched Klbkch out of the corner of her eyes as he lectured the other ‘Workers’. He was telling them how to use a spoon. And how to drink from a cup. And how to request another bowl of flies.
“Um, thanks Klbkch. Did you want me to get the food now? I’ve got the acid flies of course, but I also have pasta—”
Erin’s eyes widened.
“Oh no! The pasta!”
The Goblins and Antinium watched as Erin dashed into the kitchen to salvage the over boiled noodles. She came out a few minutes later holding plates of pasta with chopped bits of sausage and onion which she placed in front of the Goblins.
“Use forks. Got it? Your friend here knows how to use forks.”
Erin pointed at the silverware and then started bringing out bowl after bowl of the acid flies she’d prepared. She set them down in front of the Antinium Workers awkwardly. They moved out of her way, but didn’t say anything.
That was, until Klbkch snapped at them, and then all twelve murmured ‘thank you’ every time Erin brought out a plate and cups. Awkward? Erin was redefining the word for herself at the moment.
That done, the Antinium finally began to eat on Klbkch’s command. At least there they appeared to be somewhat enthusiastic, because they began gobbling the acid flies down with commendable speed. They ate in silence, though, which was also unnerving. But at least they were eating.
Erin breathed a sigh of relief. And the door to the inn swung open.
A familiar Drake poked his head into the room. He immediately launched into what sounded like a prepared speech as he awkwardly held a chess set in front of him.
“Good evening, Miss Erin Solstice! I hope you don’t mind me dropping by, but I was wondering if you’d like to play a game of ch—”
Olesm paused and stared around the silent room. His jaw dropped as he saw the Goblins. When he saw Klbkch and the other Antinium it dropped further. He slowly put one clawed hand on the door.
“…Is this a bad time?”
olesm, i dont think is a bad time, but its certainly a weird time
Erin had gone to funerals. Well, she’d attended a funeral. And while they were solemn, sad occasions, she could rightly say that she’d visited funerals that were noisier than her inn at the moment.
At least funerals had coughing people, the occasional sniffling, fidgeting children, and crying babies. In the Wandering Inn, all Erin could hear was the mastication of Goblins as they gobbled their food or the quiet cracking as the Antinium chewed down their acid flies and clicked their mandibles together.
Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.
Erin stared from the Antinium to the Goblins with a desperately cheerful smile plastered on her face. Neither side looked at the other directly, but she had the distinct impression they were silently sizing each other up. The Goblins to run away, the Antinium…well, they were just looking.
The atmosphere was so tense you could—well, Erin was pretty sure pulling a knife out would be a disaster. The Goblins were nervously eying the Antinium, and the Antinium were frighteningly silent and uniform. They ate and moved in almost perfect synchronization.
Erin circulated the room, pitcher of fruit juice in hand. She filled cups, took away plates and filled them with food, and instructed Goblins not to pick their noses. It felt like being a waitress for an entire restaurant by herself, but Erin was up to the challenge. At least, she hoped she was.
She wasn’t taking orders or cleaning up plates yet. All she was really doing was making sure there was food in front of her guests. The Goblins were easy. They ate anything she put in front of them. But the Workers? They were hard. Erin had to make sure none of them had empty bowls or cups, or they’d just stop eating. They didn’t even ask for refills by themselves.
In a lull between serving, Erin stopped in front of Klbkch and Olesm’s table. The two were talking quietly together, which made them exceptionally noisy in the dead silence.
“How’re you two boys doing?”
Both Olesm and Klbkch looked at each other to make sure they were the ones Erin was talking to. Olesm gave her a weak smile.
“I’m quite well, Miss Solstice. Or—may I call you Erin?”
“Please. I’m getting sick of being called Miss Solstice. I feel like my mom.”
“Apologies.”
Klbkch bowed his head which made Erin feel guilty. She changed the subject fast.
“Are you two enjoying your meal? Anything I can get you?”
“Another glass of the blue juice perhaps?”
Olesm raised his glass and Erin topped it off. He smiled at her.
“It is quite tasty.”
“Thanks.”
They both paused awkwardly. Olesm glanced around the inn and fidgeted.
“Do you—do you always serve Goblins in your inn? I saw the sign, but I must admit, this is the first time I’ve ever seen a Goblin not trying to stab someone or running away.”
As one, the Goblins stopped eating and stared over at Olesm. He flinched.
“Um, no. They’re new here too.”
“Oh, I see.”
More silence. Erin glanced down at the table. The Drake Tactician had brought along his chess board, and although he’d set it aside for the food, she saw him glancing at it now and then.
“How about a game of chess? Anyone want to play?”
Klbkch and Olesm looked up.
“Oh, I would love to play—”
Olesm caught himself. He glanced around guiltily at the other diners.
“But I wouldn’t want to take you away from your work. Perhaps another time.”
He looked so downcast Erin wanted to pat him on the head. She thought for a second and then smiled.
“Oh, don’t worry. We can still make it work. I’ll play you and serve food.”
Both Klbkch and Olesm eyed her incredulously. Erin grinned.
“I don’t suppose either of you are familiar with chess notation?”
you think human funerals are solemn? try a funeral for an immortal.
“Okay, so you’ve moved your pawn up two spots. That’s E4, so just tell me you’re moving a pawn to E4, got it? And when I want to move, I’ll let you know by saying, oh, pawn to D5.”
Olesm nodded and glanced down at the chess board. He carefully moved the black pawn up two spots and looked up at Erin. She nodded.
“Got it?”
“I believe so, Erin.”
“Right. Let’s play!”
Erin spun away from Olesm and grabbed a cup and filled it. Across the room, Klbkch and Olesm bent over the chess board and conferred. Olesm moved a piece.
“Pawn, ah, pawn to F3, Erin.”
“Got it! Knight to C6!”
Erin concentrated on the game as she walked around the inn. She wasn’t conscious of how the Goblins slowed in their eating and the Antinium Workers paused from their meal to follow her around the room. Erin’s thoughts focused, and as she mechanically took plates and filled them with food her mind focused on only one thing.
The game. Some called golf the greatest game ever played. They might be right. But Erin loved chess.
She could even play it in her head.
yay chess notation!
“Bishop to D6.”
“Hm. In that case I’ll move…um, I believe that’s pawn to D4.”
“Queen to H4! Check!”
Erin said it instantly and grinned to herself. She heard Olesm groan in dismay.
“Ah. Then—then pawn to G3?”
Again, Erin replied almost before he’d finished speaking.
“Bishop takes pawn at G3!”
“Pawn takes bishop at G3.”
“And I’ll take your rook at H1.”
Erin grinned to herself as Olesm hissed in distress. In her mind’s eye she saw her queen piece sitting in the corner of Olesm’s side of the board, nestling right up against all of his lovely, undefended pieces.
The game continued, but only as mop-up. Erin happily munched away at Olesm’s pieces with her queen. He eventually managed to take hers out with his own, but only after he’d lost another knight and a bishop. By then Erin had more pieces than he did on the board and in better positions, too.
“I concede.”
Olesm tipped over his king and stared despondently at the board. Erin paused serving sliced up sausage to the Goblins long enough to see Klbkch pat Olesm on the shoulder consolingly.
“It was a good game.”
The Drake shook his head.
“You do me too much credit. I made several errors that cost me many pieces. But I believe you had me from the start. Would you do the kindness of showing me where I made mistakes?”
“Of course.”
Erin walked over to the table. She rearranged the board until it was back to normal and then moved Olesm’s pawn up two spaces.
“You started out with a classic: the King’s Pawn Opening. That was a good move.”
Olesm looked blankly down at the board.
“I just moved my pawn to E4. Was that truly a noteworthy move, to have a strategy named after it?”
Erin nodded happily.
“Oh, it’s a classic. Did you know almost a quarter of all chess games start with it? It’s great for taking the center spaces, but unfortunately for you I love playing against that move.”
Klbkch raised one hand.
“Do you mean to say that there are established counters to this opening?”
She nodded and pushed a black pawn forwards.
“Oh, there are lots of good strategies. I countered with an old favorite—the Sicilian Defense. It’s great against the King’s Pawn, but you made a mistake when you moved that pawn up to F3. It doesn’t open up your side for many pieces to get out, and you really want a knight to put pressure on my side of the board. Of course, you could try to take my pawn, but that leaves your center open. Most players try to push forwards aggressively but that’s why the Sicilian Defense works so well since it means you have to lose a pawn if you want to push into the other side.”
Erin paused and looked around the inn. Olesm was wearing a half-glazed, half-delighted expression on his face. The Goblins and all the Antinium including Klbkch were staring at her open-mouthed.
“Uh, sorry. I tend to lecture when I get too into chess.”
“No—don’t worry in the slightest Miss Erin.”
Olesm shook his head and smiled at her. His eyes were alive with interest and she noticed his tail wagging like a dog on the ground.
drake tails can tell you a lot about them and their emotional state
“You have such a deep understanding of this game! How is it that you know so much about chess? I only heard about it last year, yet you say there are strategies already in place?”
“Yes?”
Erin crossed her fingers as Olesm sighed happily. She really hoped she wouldn’t have to explain being from another world. Erin glanced at Klbkch and wondered if she should play him next. Then she looked at Olesm and Klbkch together and had an idea.
She grinned wickedly.
“Yeah, I love playing chess. In fact, I’ll play both of you at the same time, if you want.”
Olesm and Klbkch shared a glance. Both frowned slightly. Well, Olesm frowned and Erin had the distinct impression that Klbkch was frowning.
“Aren’t you taking us a bit too lightly, Erin?”
She blinked innocently at Olesm.
“Me? Of course not. But I bet I can play both of you while serving drinks and food and win against at least one. Want to test my theory?”
They did. Erin grinned to herself as both Olesm and Klbkch set up their pieces on opposite sides of the room. Each player stared intently at their board. She could practically feel the intensity coming off of each. It reminded her of the adults she used to play as a kid. No one liked being trash-talked by a middle schooler. It was hard for her to keep a straight face.
Klbkch moved first. Erin stared at his board and then decided to move a piece on Olesm’s board while she thought. She circulated the room, filling up the glasses with what little fruit juice she had left. When Olesm made his move Erin decided to hit Klbkch with a knight. And then she went back into the kitchen for more pasta. Those Goblins could eat.
The games continued as Erin filled up bowls with the dead flies and handed them out to the Workers. They happily chomped down the flies, but she had the distinct impression they were watching as she travelled back and forth between Klbkch and Olesm’s boards.
Occasionally, Erin would wait while one of the other two players moved a piece, but when she did move from board to board, she attacked fast, seemingly without pausing to think. She could see Klbkch and Olesm watching her as much as the board, but she effortlessly continued playing both players while serving her guests.
Her audience watched the dual games intently. Erin kept an eye on them as well, and saw both Rags and the Antinium Workers staring hard at Klbkch and Olesm’s pieces. The Goblin’s eyes narrowed and the Antinium appeared confused. Erin smiled to herself, but kept sweeping around the room, refilling cups, and swiftly moving pieces on each board.
Eventually, the game ended with a win for Klbkch and a loss for Olesm.
“Congratulations, Klbkch. And to you, Erin.”
“Indeed. I am quite impressed by your ability.”
Erin smiled at both players and tried not to laugh.
“Yeah, it was a good game. Too bad I wasn’t playing either of you.”
“What?”
She pointed down to the chess board in front of Olesm. His King was cornered by a queen and a bishop.
“Notice anything similar about Klbkch’s board, Olesm?”
He looked over. On Klbkch’s side, he’d cornered Erin’s king with a bishop and a queen. In the exact same spots as the pieces on Olesm’s board.
“What is this?”
“I played you two against each other. It’s the oldest trick in the book—I once heard of a guy who tried it against two Grandmasters and failed. I always wanted to do it just once.”
Erin smiled as Klbkch and Olesm exclaimed, and then raised her hands as they immediately demanded another match. She was setting up the boards for a real dual game when something happened.
something?
One of the Workers stood up.
Instantly, Klbkch stopped setting up his pieces and let one of his hands fall down to his side. Erin saw he was holding his sword hilt as he stood up.
oh no this could be bad
“What are you doing, Worker?”
Klbkch’s voice was cold and hostile. The Workers meekly bowed to him.
“This one would watch, Prognugator.”
“Watch?”
Klbkch glanced down at the board and then back to the Worker. He seemed uncertain.
“It is impolite to intrude or impede the innkeeper’s path.”
Erin hastily interposed herself between Klbkch and the meek Worker who was already retreating back to his seat. She beckoned him over.
“It doesn’t bother me, Klbkch. Let him watch. An audience for a chess game is great.”
Klbkch hesitated.
“I would not wish to impose on your hospitality or patience—”
“Impose away, by all means!”
Erin rode over his protests and pulled up another chair. She steered the Worker over to the chair without touching him and made him sit down. Then she noticed the other Workers and Goblins were staring at the chess boards too.
“Come on over if you want to watch, all of you.”
Instantly, there was a crowd surrounding both chess boards. Olesm and Klbkch blinked at the spectators, but Erin smiled happily.
“Okay, now let’s do this so it’ll be fun for me and you. I’ll play you both, but we only get five—okay, ten seconds for each move.”
“Is this another way of playing chess?”
“It’s how some games are played, yeah. This style is called Lightning Chess, but in tournaments you can have anywhere from an hour’s time in total to think of all your moves to only three minutes. If we had a clock we could—never mind, I’ll explain it as we play, okay?”
Klbkch and Olesm nodded. Erin took a chair and placed it between both tables so she could reach both chess boards.
“I’ll have to sit down for this. I’m no Grandmaster.”
good thing that didnt escalate also yes, erin is a chess fanatic
The first two rounds of games Erin won handily. But in the third game Olesm scored a draw.
“Congratulations Olesm.”
Erin covered a yawn and massaged at her back. She gave the elated Drake a weary smile.
“Yeah, that was a great game!”
“Why, thank you.”
Olesm’s scales turned a light shade of red as he shook Klbkch’s hand. His tail thrashed around wildly on the floor, but Klbkch and Erin pretended not to notice.
“I must say, it’s quite amazing—I feel relieved to have finally tied a match against you, Erin. I was beginning to think it was impossible.”
She blushed and waved a hand at him. It felt extremely embarrassing to be treated like some kind of chess genius, especially since she knew she wasn’t. Erin was about to suggest a rematch with different rules when she looked over at the watching Worker Antinium.
“Do you want to play?”
The Antinium she was addressing sat up in his seat and bowed to her.
“This unworthy one would not presume to act in such a way.”
Erin frowned. Did that mean he wanted to play but he was afraid to?
“Why not give it a shot? I’ll teach you how to play, and we can always make more chess boards. All we need is a few pieces of paper and a pen.”
She went into the kitchen and pulled out a few pieces of paper and a quill and ink. It had made her feel like a wizard when she’d first bought the quill, and then she’d wished for a computer and a printer five seconds after she’d had to actually dip the quill every few words when she wrote.
As her guests watched, Erin drew a rough chess board on a piece of parchment, and then tore up other pieces. She carefully drew symbols on them to show which were pawns and which were other pieces, and put the makeshift chess board on the table. She put two of the Antinium Workers in chairs, facing each other across the board.
It was the most low-key chess board Erin had ever seen, but the Antinium stared at the scraps of paper with total concentration.
“Okay, so how much did you guys see when I played chess with Klbkch and Olesm? Do you know how to set up the board?”
Instantly both Antinium moved. Erin recoiled for a second, but they merely rearranged the pieces on the chess board with mechanical precision. In seconds each side was set up. Erin blinked at them.
“Good. Good. And uh, show me how this piece moves?”
Obediently, the Antinium Worker moved the piece forwards.
“And can you move it from left to right?”
“This one does not believe so.”
Klbkch hovered over the board. As always he had few features Erin could read, but he appeared distressed for some reason.
“Address her by her title.”
The Antinium instantly bowed his head at Erin.
“Apologies, Innkeeper Solstice. This one does not believe the pawn piece moves left and right.”
Erin gave Klbkch a half annoyed glance, but turned back to the Worker.
“Right, that’s true! Very good. And show me how it takes a piece?”
He showed her.
“Good. But did you know there’s one more move the pawn can do?”
Instantly, the other Antinium and the Goblins watching the game were filled with attention. They stared as Erin showed them how to take a piece en passant and explained the unique rules around that action. The Antinium she was coaching immediately bowed its head to her.
“This one was unaware of this fact. This one apologizes to Innkeeper Solstice for its failure.”
“What? Don’t apologize. Not many players know about that move. How could you? Now, let’s have you play a game with your friend.”
Erin stepped back as the two Antinium Workers stared at each other in silence. For a moment she was afraid they’d do nothing, but then the first Worker moved his pawn up to E5. After a moment the other Workers replied with the Sicilian Defense, and then the game was on.
Piece after piece moved with minimal pausing in between. At first Erin was afraid they were recreating her games with Klbkch and Olesm, but the two players were playing their own game. It took her a while to realize they were still playing by Lightning rules. Once she’d explained they could take their time, the game slowed.
Erin stared at the two Workers playing each other in complete silence and then looked around at her audience.
“Anyone else want to play?”
the antinium have chess! this could be interesting
Silence. It was the sound of funerals, and churches, except that it wasn’t. Rather, it was the sound you thought should be in such places, but really was more like an ideal goal than the truth.
It was the sound of chess tournaments, though. Erin circulated around the inn, filling plates with dead flies and pouring water (she’d run out of blue juice) and felt like she was home as she listened to the click of chess pieces moving, or, more often, the shuffling of dry paper.
“Oh. How’s the game going? Anyone want more flies? How about pasta? A cup of jui—water?”
Erin passed by each board and watched as Antinium and even Goblins played each other. There were eight boards set up, and the players rotated with each other once someone lost.
Her natural instincts as a chess player warred with her desire to give the new players advice. She compromised by letting Olesm and Klbkch offer commentary, and then dissected games after they’d been played out by recreating them and pointing out good or bad moves.
The Antinium Workers watched Erin’s every move and listened to her words with frightening attention. She’d heard the word ‘rapt’ used to describe people, but never had she met a group so completely focused as the Workers. It was frankly unnerving, but her love of explaining chess moves and strategies more than made up for the awkwardness.
That was one thing. But what really amazed Erin and even Olesm and Klbkch were the Goblins. They were playing chess.
Okay, not well, and not quickly, but the Goblins were sitting down and giving each other spirited, if not particularly well thought out games. The exception was the smallest Goblin, Rags, who had actually beaten two of the Antinium Workers back-to-back.
Erin stopped in front of one of the real chess boards as Rags slid into the seat opposite. It was technically Klbkch’s turn to play, but the Goblin stared at her. It was an obvious challenge.
“I’ll play you, if you want. You’re white, so go ahead.”
Rags eyed Erin defiantly and moved her knight first. Erin hid a smile.
“Oh, the Baltic Opening, huh? Well…”
She moved a pawn two squares up directly in front of the knight. It was her favorite way to deal with that opening move. Rags frowned, and then moved another piece. And then another. For a while the Goblin looked like a strange, green kid playing chess. That was, until she opened her mouth and Erin saw the sharp teeth. But Rags still looked a lot less threatening than before.
Erin crushed her while she served the last of her pasta to the Goblins and had a bite to eat herself.
and now the goblin has chess!
The Goblin challenged her three more times while Erin played Olesm and then two of the Workers. Each time she handily lost, but Erin was impressed by the way the small Goblin was willing to try new strategies. She said so.
“You guys could learn a lot from her. Most of these moves are actually established patterns. Okay, moving the rook right away wasn’t a good choice, but you’re better than most beginners.”
She smiled at Rags. The Goblin fidgeted in her chair and looked away.
Klbkch nodded, and Olesm expressed an interest playing the Goblin. Erin looked over at the Workers. They were eying her surreptitiously. She had the impression they wanted to play her too.
She clapped her hands together and smiled.
“Now then. Anyone else want to play another game?”
yay the goblin is smart!
“And that’s checkmate.”
Olesm looked up from his king and shook his head despairingly.
“Another fine game, Erin. I wasn’t aware of your trap until you moved your bishop up.”
Erin yawned and grinned sleepily at him. Around her the Goblins sat or lay on the tables, sleepily watching the game.
“You keep giving away too many pawns. They’re more valuable than you think.”
Olesm bowed his head and nearly toppled over. He jerked upright and nodded at her.
“I shall keep it in mind, Erin.”
She nodded and yawned again.
“Anyone want to play another game? Klbkch?”
The ant man shook his head. He glanced towards the door, and at the Workers still playing chess. They were still intensely staring at the paper chess boards without any sign of fatigue.
“It is late. I am afraid we must take our leave, Miss—Erin. If I may address you in that way.”
Erin blinked at Klbkch and then looked out the window.
“Oh, of course you can call me that, Klbkch. And wow, it is late!”
She stood up. Immediately, the Workers stopped playing chess and stood too. They bowed to her.
“Allow me to thank you and pay you in their place, Erin.”
Klbkch handed her a bag of silver and gold coins. Erin blinked down at it.
“Oh. That’s a lot.”
“It is only fair payment for what we have consumed. And, might I trouble you to ask for a container of acid flies? I wish to bring some back to Liscor.”
“What? Oh, sure. I’ve actually got a huge glass jar. Do you want it?”
“Please.”
Erin ended up giving Klbkch a huge jar full of acid flies for a gold coin. She felt guilty about it, but the Antinium insisted it was a fair price. He left with Olesm and the Workers in tow, and Erin saw the Goblins off as they slowly streamed out of her inn.
“Come again! I’ll feed you lot another meal if you come by. You don’t need to pay – you paid me enough this time. Okay?”
The Goblins grunted or waved their hands awkwardly at her. They clutched the paper chess board and pieces to themselves silently. Erin had wanted to give them to the Antinium Workers as well, but Klbkch told her it wasn’t a good idea.
The last Goblin, Rags, paused as she walked by Erin. The small Goblin held her hands tightly at her side.
“Hey.”
Erin tapped Rags on the head. She held out her hand. Silently, the small Goblin handed her the pawn back as the other Goblins glared at her.
“No stealing. Besides, a chess board isn’t complete without all the pieces.”
Rag’s eyes lit up. Erin narrowed hers.
“That doesn’t mean you can steal them either. If you want to play a game, come back any time. Okay?”
For a while the little Goblin hesitated, and then nodded. Erin smiled.
“Have a good night.”
She closed the door. Then she bolted it, and made sure all the windows were fastened tight. She didn’t mind the small Goblin, but she was damned if she was going to let it walk off with her chess set.
curse you goblin kleptomaniacs!
“Um, Senior Guardsman Klbkch? May I have a word?”
Klbkch paused as he walked swiftly back to Liscor. He was setting a fast pace, and Olesm was struggling to keep up.
“My apologies, Olesm Swifttail. I had forgotten you were with us.”
“No, it’s nothing.”
Olesm gasped and wheezed as Klbkch slowed. The Workers behind him silently adjusted their pace to give the two room.
“I just wanted to talk to you—if I may.”
“Certainly. May I ask if you are addressing your comment to the liaison of the Antinium or Senior Guardsmen Klbkch?”
“Both, I believe. Um, how shall I put this?”
Olesm paused as the two strode through the night. Klbkch waited patiently until the Drake began.
“As the [Tactician] who liaisons with the council and other guilds and the guard, I am privy to some confidential information. I am uh, aware of the situation with the Workers within the Antinium.”
“Indeed?”
Olesm glanced nervously behind him at the Workers. They silently stared back at him.
“Will—will this be a problem, do you think?”
Klbkch hesitated. He looked back and the Workers instantly looked down at the ground.
“We shall see. They will be observed as usual and I will personally supervise them.”
“Ah, good, good. I wouldn’t ask, but I know that these kind of things have uh, dire consequences. This isn’t an Expedition, but—”
“I understand your concerns. If it helps, I will address this topic in my monthly report to inform you of any significant changes.”
“Thank you.”
“I trust you have enjoyed yourself tonight?”
“Oh, yes. Very. Erin—that is, Miss Erin Solstice is quite a remarkable Human, isn’t she?”
“Indeed.”
“Quite remarkable.”
“Her mastery of the game of chess may be unmatched within the continent.”
“Absolutely.”
“Indeed.”
“…Would you like to play a game after this, by any chance?”
“It would be my pleasure.”
erin is having affects on her guests
That night Erin slept well. She did not wake up to hear a strange voice telling her she’d achieved [Tactician Level 1!]. She did not level up that night. Several Antinium and one Goblin however—
Did.
this is significant!
thats the end of the chapter! will any of these antinium go insane? will the goblin use her newfound class to take over her tribe? will olesm try something?
see you next post
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Imperfections (37/?)
ao3
i feel weird about the upcoming plotline & chapters but. they’ll probably hold up ok when they’re part of a finished story so i think i should keep them in
“Hey,” Faith tossed a box of Pop-Tarts to Giles, “can we get these?”
Giles gave Faith a long-suffering look and said, “Bloody hell, I’ve got two of them now.” Jen started laughing.
“What?” said Faith defensively.
Jen tried to speak through her laughter, waved a hand vaguely, and kept laughing.
“Ms. Calendar always tries to sneak Pop-Tarts in,” Oz explained, placing a few cans of soup into the shopping cart. “Last time she and Giles had a tug-of-war in the juice aisle.”
Faith looked at Giles, looked at Jen, and handed Giles five more boxes of Pop-Tarts.
“Stop that,” said Giles indignantly. “Jenny, stop laughing, this is your Slayer we’re talking about. You should be concerned about her eating habits.”
“I found the eggs, Giles!” Xander called, running up with four cartons in his arms.
Giles pressed his hands to his face. “They’re breakable.”
Jen seemed to finally manage to stop laughing, took the Pop-Tart boxes from Giles, placed three in the cart, put the rest back, and said, “Xander, really, you’ve got to be more careful with the eggs.”
“We’re keeping three?” said Faith with satisfaction.
“Oh, completely,” Jen agreed. “Okay. How much stuff do we have that’s actually on the shopping list?”
“Fruit,” said Buffy cheerfully, placing a box of raspberries carefully on top of one of the remaining Pop-Tart boxes. “And I’m pretty sure Willow’s off getting baking chocolate.”
“Where’s Cordelia?” Xander asked, looking around with genuine surprise. Jen took the eggs from him.
Buffy frowned. “You know, I’m actually not sure.”
“Hey, Giles, do we need Easter Peeps for whatever it is we’re doing right now?” Cordelia asked, hurrying up to the group with a large bag of brightly colored marshmallow chicks.
“It’s my first round of shopping for our holiday dinner in December,” said Giles exasperatedly, “and I made sure to tell you all that in the car, and no, we already have Pop-Tarts. That’s enough artificially flavored garbage to—”
“Aww, Easter Peeps!” Jen hurried past Giles, taking the bag from Cordelia. “I don’t care that we’re winter-solstice shopping, those never go out of season.”
“For the love of—” Giles stepped forward, trying to tug the bag away from Jen.
“I’m sorry, tug-of-war? Are we five?” Jen said with mock indignance, and stepped on Giles’s foot, taking this opportunity to pull the bag of Easter Peeps away from him and collide with a shelf of cat food.
“This is great,” said Xander to Willow. “I wish my parents fought over Easter Peeps in the middle of a grocery store.”
“No. No, you don’t. Stop encouraging her.” Giles took the bag of Easter Peeps from Jen and handed it back to Cordelia. “I am trying to draw some kind of line.”
“What if I said they were for me?” Jen inquired.
“And me,” said Faith hopefully.
“Oooh, Easter Peeps!” said Buffy with interest.
Jen smiled a little wryly. “Fine,” she said, “I see your point. No Easter Peeps.”
“Communication is an important part of a healthy relationship,” Willow teased.
Faith gave Jen a brief grin before taking a look at her copy of the shopping list. No one had gotten the frozen peas for Giles’s chicken pot pie yet, so she decided to go and get those. “Be right back,” she told the group, and headed into the frozen section.
To her surprise, she saw that pretty blonde physics teacher from school crying directly in front of the frozen peas. Great. Now Faith was going to have to walk past her to get the peas, and there was going to be an inevitable awkward moment whether or not the physics teacher recognized her. Trying to decide how best to play this one, Faith hovered nonchalantly by the aisle.
A short woman with caramel-colored hair came up to the physics teacher. “I’ve found the cupcake mix,” she announced. “We can do some angry-vengeance baking together now.” She hesitated, looking at the teacher. “You feeling a little better?” she asked sympathetically.
Relieved, Faith took a step forward. Maybe now they’d leave.
“Oh, yeah, crying in a grocery store does wonders for morale,” sniffled the teacher. “I’m pretty sure I already saw five people I know here, and two of them are faculty members.”
“Come on.” The other woman patted the teacher awkwardly on the shoulder. “Buck up. We can go get some hot chocolate and talk about—”
“God, I wish no one could see me like this!” the teacher burst out. “Or—or even hear me!”
Faith was just about to decide that the frozen peas were definitely not worth watching this mortifying spectacle and leave, but then the other woman’s face—changed. It wasn’t exactly horrifying, but it was definitely not human. “Done,” said the woman, and suddenly the pretty physics teacher was gone.
“Hey!” Faith shouted. The woman turned, her face still creepy and very demon-y. “What the hell did you do to her?”
Behind her, she felt a hand on her shoulder. “Faith,” said Jen a little reprovingly, and then, upon seeing the demon, “Oh. Wow. Okay.”
Without a word, the demon vanished.
“Oh, wow, that’s reassuring,” said Jen, her grip tight on Faith’s shoulder. “Did she—you’re okay, right?”
“What?” Faith looked over at Jen. “No, I’m fine. I’m more worried about the other lady.”
“The other who now?” Willow inquired from next to Jen.
Buffy sprinted into the aisle, fists up. “What’s going on?” she demanded.
“Faith’s shouting at nobody in a grocery aisle,” said Cordelia, strolling over to stand next to Buffy.
“Not nobody,” said Faith indignantly.
“Yeah, there was a creepy demon lady who disappeared a few seconds after I showed up,” Jen added helpfully.
“And the physics teacher,” Faith put in.
Giles frowned, rolling the shopping cart up to the group. “The physics teacher?”
“Shit,” said Faith. “Uh, I don’t remember her name. Blonde lady, really pretty. Lots of crying.”
Jen’s eyes widened. “Ms. Emerson?”
“Yeah!” Faith beamed at Jen. “That sounds familiar. Ms. Emerson—why do you look so worried?”
“No, it’s just—” Jen waved a hand. “Some substitute teacher was asking me about Ms. Emerson a few days back.”
“Substitute teacher?” Xander repeated warily.
“Ooh, yeah.” Willow winced. “Substitute teachers do tend to be a little weird in this town. Remember that one who was a praying mantis?”
“Awesome,” said Jen exhaustedly. “I turned on a demon teacher’s computer.”
“Is that a euphemism?” Xander asked.
“So not the time,” said Cordelia pointedly.
“Let’s not jump to any unwarranted conclusions,” interrupted Giles. “Faith, what happened to Ms. Emerson?”
“Well,” said Faith slowly, “she was crying about something with her friend, and she was all I wish no one could see me like this, and then the friend turned into that demon and Ms. Emerson disappeared.”
“No one can see her,” said Giles slowly. “Perhaps—”
“—her friend took that one literally,” Jen finished. “Where was Ms. Emerson?”
“In front of the frozen peas,” said Faith. “Why?”
Jen stepped forward, giving a worried-looking Giles a reassuring smile. Carefully, she walked towards the frozen peas, reaching out in front of her. “Ms. Emerson?” she said carefully. “Are you there?”
“Oh, right,” Faith added hastily. “Ms. Emerson also said something about how she didn’t want anyone to hear her.”
Jen yelped and tripped over something, grabbing at something else to hold her steady. “Hey, Rupert?” she called. “Can you come over here for a second?” She shifted to a kneeling position on the floor, placing her hand on thin air. “Hi,” she said. “Okay. Just—hold on to me, all right? We’re going to try and fix this.”
“Ah,” said Giles weakly. “She’s found Ms. Emerson.”
“So I’m guessing we save shopping for a later date?” Xander inquired uncertainly.
Willow carried a grocery bag in, handing it off to Faith when she entered the kitchen. Buffy and Faith were putting the groceries away, Giles was making pasta, and everyone else was clustered awkwardly around Ms. Calendar and Ms. Emerson at the kitchen table.
“Hey,” said Ms. Calendar with a tired grin. “Thanks for finishing up the shopping.”
“No problem!” Willow smiled back. “How’s Ms. Emerson doing?”
“Pretty well, considering that this is her first contact with the supernatural world,” Ms. Calendar replied, pointing to the pen and paper in front of Ms. Emerson. “She’s been communicating with us via more traditional means. Turns out that the substitute history teacher is some kind of weird demon lady, because she’s the person who Faith saw with Charlotte.”
“Charlotte?” Xander repeated.
“Ms. Emerson,” Ms. Calendar explained, glancing over at the empty chair next to her. “She and Anya have been pretty close for the last few days. Apparently, Anya’s provided something of a listening ear through some hard times.”
“Someday,” said Giles, placing a stack of plates down on the table, “Snyder will get what’s coming to him for all these bloody demons he keeps putting on staff.”
“Oh, no, I think the praying mantis was actually thanks to Flutie,” said Ms. Calendar thoughtfully. “Also, I really want to hear more about that tape Buffy said you made on proper filing.”
Ms. Emerson tapped the pen pointedly against the table.
“So how exactly do we fix this?” Cordelia asked. “Anya’s vanished into thin air, and we don’t know if she’s coming back any time soon.”
“Before we figure out how to help Ms. Emerson, don’t we need to figure out why Anya came here in the first place?” said Oz thoughtfully.
All eyes turned to him. “What do you mean?” said Willow, surprised.
Oz smiled at her. “Well,” he said, “if we know why Anya decided to grant Ms. Emerson’s wish, we’ll know why she was there for Ms. Emerson to begin with. And if we know that, we’ll know how to get her to come back.”
“That is a really good point,” said Ms. Calendar, jumping up from her chair and crossing the room to Giles. “Rupert, put someone else on dinner duty. You and I need to get into research mode.” Without waiting for Giles’s answer, she grabbed his arm, pulling him into the other room. Over her shoulder, she called, “If anyone wants to ask Ms. Emerson any useful questions, definitely do that too, okay?”
“I think you should cover that, Will,” said Xander, nudging her gently.
“Yeah, Willow,” said Faith in what was a surprisingly genuine tone of voice. “You’re a smart chick. Go for it.”
Quietly, Willow slid into Ms. Calendar’s seat, feeling a little weird to just be looking at an empty chair. “Um, hi,” she said.
The pen moved. On the paper, Ms. Emerson’s neat cursive spelled out hello.
Willow tried to think of a useful question she could ask. “So, um, how did you meet Anya?” she asked carefully.
She was in the staff room at the same time I was, Ms. Emerson wrote. She made me a cup of coffee.
“Hey,” said Faith suddenly. “Was there anything weird about Anya?”
“Well, duh, she can turn people invisible,” said Cordelia, examining her nails.
“That’s not what she means,” Willow realized aloud. “Ms. Emerson,” she continued, “was there anything distinctive you noticed about Anya? Like, a birthmark, a scar, some weird piece of jewelry—”
The pen began to scribble very fast.
“Bingo,” said Faith, beaming at Willow.
Willow peered over at the piece of paper. Anya gave me a necklace to wear, it read. She said it was a good-luck charm. I don’t have it on me anymore—I think it disappeared along with her. Is it possible that this necklace could be linked to her somehow?
“All right, someone go tell Giles and Ms. Calendar about this,” Willow instructed the room. “Ms. Emerson, can you draw what the necklace looks like? Just a rough approximation should be fine.”
“Ooh, you’ve got the leader thing down pat,” Buffy teased gently, pausing by the table to smile at Willow. “I’ll finish up that pasta for everyone.”
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This Is What Gluten-Free Experts Actually Eat Every Day
If you eat gluten-free, you know how overwhelming, confusing and time-consuming it can feel.
We asked a team of experts ― including a top gluten-free registered dietician, a researcher, a doctor and cookbook authors ― what they really eat. Their insights offer simple suggestions for how to overcome the daily challenges of eating gluten-free.
Remember, eating is personal, so always do it your way.
If you’re following a gluten-free diet, you’re lacking whole grains. Here’s how to substitute for them.
Eating gluten-free can lead to a deficiency of whole grains and put your cardiac health at risk, according to a 2017 heart health study published by British Medical Journal. It’s imperative to find creative alternatives to whole wheat in your diet. What do the experts reach for?
Oats
A great source of whole grains and fiber, oats help keep the gut healthy, too. Alessio Fasano, author of Gluten Freedom and founder of the Center for Celiac Research, said that certified gluten-free oats are tolerated by 95 percent of those with celiac disease.
Tiffany Hinton, a blogger at Gluten-Free Mom Certified and author of several cookbooks, said she makes fiber-filled steel-cut oats and mixed berry salad with chia seeds in the morning for herself and her three young girls.
As a busy new mom, Lori Welstead, a registered dietician at the University of Chicago Celiac Disease Center, prepares overnight oats so breakfast is ready to grab and go.
Dr. Sheila Crowe, director of UC San Diego’s Celiac Disease Clinic, eats oatmeal with nuts to include healthy fats.
Whole grain bread
Bread containing sorghum, millet and teff provide gluten-free whole grain health. Welstead recommends Little Northern Bakehouse’s Millet & Chia Bread. It contains 3 g of fiber, toasts up crunchy and is great for sandwiches. The company makes a variety of loaves and buns with ancient and whole grains.
Quinoa
A favorite side for Crowe is cooked quinoa sautéed with multicolored peppers, spinach and onions.
Nicole Hunn, Gluten-Free On A Shoestring blogger and cookbook author, admits she doesn’t like quinoa’s texture, but has created a killer quinoa chocolate cake recipe.
Gluten-Free On A Shoestring
You can find this gluten-free quinoa chocolate cake recipe on the Gluten-Free On A Shoestring blog.
Rice is gluten-free, but contains trace amounts of arsenic. Here’s what to eat instead.
Many prepackaged gluten-free products made with rice flour contain some inorganic arsenic. In 2015, Dr. Brian Jackson from the Trace Element Analysis Core Laboratory at Dartmouth worked with Tricia Thompson of the Gluten-Free Watchdog to lead extensive testing of arsenic in rice.
Based on the findings, Thompson told HuffPost, “I am convinced that inorganic arsenic intake among the gluten-free community is a serious concern and it deserves our attention.”
Thompson found the nastiest culprits in rice bran, rice syrup and rice milk. She recommends avoiding or reducing products that contain these ingredients. How do the experts find the right balance?
Try a variety of sides
Welstead looks to potatoes, quinoa and polenta as sides instead of rice. When choosing pasta, she likes zoodles and bean or lentil varieties that add fiber.
Thompson admits that she eats rice as a comfort food with dinner twice a week. To provide a range of grains, she chooses pasta made with corn and quinoa and avoids most prepackaged foods. She emphasizes that this choice works best for her, and isn’t right for everyone.
When baking with alternative flours, read the label carefully
Most baking mixes and prepackaged flours use rice flour as a base, so the experts bake from scratch.
Welstead and Crowe use alternatives including coconut and almond flours. Hunn, who bakes constantly for her blog and cookbooks, makes a lot of recipes with oats and oat flour.
A little planning goes a long way.
We asked experts for their easy meal suggestions and tips for approaching meal plans.
Instead of weekly planning, Hunn relies on a well-stocked pantry filled with staples to feed her active kids. She said, “People think because of my job, I have dinner in the bag, but the truth is, I’m scrambling to make dinner just like everyone else.” One of her family’s favorite go-to meals is her homemade “rice-a-roni.” “I prep half way to save time,” she said. Before the kids get home, she cuts up boneless, skinless chicken so it’s ready to cook, and her pantry always has the pre-mixed base on hand. The whole meal cooks in one pan and is ready in 30 minutes.
As a celiac who suffered with health problems for years, Hinton found healing though whole foods and is committed eating 6-9 cups of greens a day. Pre-planning gives her peace of mind. Since jarred salads are a mainstay, “prepping the salad jars and berry salad on the weekends makes it easy to take with me and saves time throughout the week.” Don’t limit dinner to tradition. During an especially busy week, Hinton reaches for smoothies or a cold plate with veggies, hummus, and fruit for dinners.
Welstead plans weekly meals with her chef husband, keeping in mind what they have a taste for and produce that’s in season. They grill on the weekend and use the veggies and protein throughout the week. Tacos are one of their favorites. “You can use chicken, fish, pork or grilled veggies for fillings,” she said. Leftovers become enchiladas or nachos. “We like balanced meals that make us feel satisfied and try to eat a rainbow of vegetables.”
Crowe’s favorite simple meal during summer is a Greek salad topped with grilled meat.
On a busy night, Thompson makes hearty bowls filled with rice, black beans, tomatoes, onions, avocados and corn.
Gluten-Free On A Shoestring
Gluten-free blogger Nicole Hunn makes this homemade “rice-a-roni.”
You have several options for gluten-free snacks, either homemade or prepackaged.
On an ideal day, we’d all choose fresh fruits, veggies and hummus, nuts and popcorn to munch. But when life happens, even nutrition experts are human. Here’s how they mix it up.
Hinton suggests thinking of frozen food as snacks. “Frozen fruits and veggies have great fiber and phytonutrients. Flash freezing keeps all the nutrients intact. I munch on frozen peas, mangos and blueberries, especially in the summer.” When in a rush, a favorite snack is Zegosnacks Seed and Fruit Mix-ins. This new product features a scannable label that provides immediate transparency of product testing, a game-changer for gluten-free living.
Welstead makes her own roasted chickpeas. “They take just 10 minutes and have tons of fiber, protein, and contain less fat than nuts.” When on the go, she chooses Saffron Road brand, and was recently pleasantly surprised by BIENA’s dark chocolate variety.
When it comes to snacking, Thompson loves crunch. Determined to reduce her rice intake, she searched for an alternative to rice crackers. Her favorite finds were Skinny Pop Popcorn Mini Cakes and pistachios.
When throwing a gluten-free party, make what you’d normally make for yourself.
Throwing a gluten-free dinner party can seem daunting, but Crowe’s advice puts it into perspective. Her motto for entertaining is, “Make it reflect what you do in real life and no one will even notice it’s gluten-free.”
She recently threw a Canada Day party (she and her husband, both Canadians, share a birthday on that day too). To celebrate, they served a cheese plate, cedar plank salmon with dill sauce, grilled veggies, her favorite quinoa dish, and for dessert, cheesecake with berries. Since beer is not naturally gluten-free, wine is her beverage of choice.
You can shop without losing your mind — or your paycheck.
If you’ve ever compared prices, you know gluten-free packaged goods can be expensive. Here’s how the experts tackle that problem.
Eat seasonal produce
All five experts incorporate lots of fruits and veggies daily. Buying produce that’s in season keeps prices reasonable. Look for deals at the store and farmers markets. “I always look at the day-old produce rack for items I will be using in the next two days,” Hinton said.
Welstead and Hinton, both in the Chicago area, enjoy the ease of Imperfect Produce, an ingenious, new delivery service of “ugly” fruits and vegetables. Consumers choose their items, receive home delivery weekly or biweekly, and save time and money (30-50 percent less than grocery store prices). They’re also saving food, water and energy from going to waste. The service is available in parts of California, Portland, Seattle, Chicago, and Indianapolis, and quickly expanding.
Online options
Thompson buys staples from health-inspired site Vitacost and takes advantage of free shipping by ordering the minimum dollar amount.
Crowe, who regularly speaks at events for gluten intolerance and celiac organizations, notes that staying social and joining a group can lead to benefits like organizing a co-op in your area to buy staples like flour in bulk.
Don’t reinvent the wheel. Try these great resources.
Gluten-Freedom Project
Welstead gets inspiration from this meal-planning website. Founded by a family who initially felt overwhelmed eating gluten-free, the site allows users to customize meal plans, generate a shopping list, and find recommended products.
Recipe Revolution
This app (available on iOS) is a new tool that will convert any recipe to be gluten-free. Welstead, an avid user of the app, said it was created by someone with celiac disease.
Better Batter
Feeling overwhelmed with baking? Use a packaged all-purpose flour instead of mixing your own. Hunn recommends Better Batter for consistent results. Besides being glad the recommendation comes from a gluten-free recipe developer, you’ll also love that the flour is GMO-free, free of 11 top allergens, vegan friendly, and low in arsenic. Dessert, anyone?
RELATED COVERAGE
Surprise! Many Gluten-Intolerant Folks Can Eat Sourdough Bread
33 Gluten-Free Desserts You’ll Actually Want To Eat
Gluten-Free Breakfast Recipes That Everyone Will Love
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20 Brilliant Hacks for Saving Money Every Week on Your Groceries
Depending on where you live, food may be one of the biggest expenses of your household.
Luckily, it’s also one of the expenses that’s easiest to cut down on. After all, it’s not like you can change gas prices or just decide to pay less rent.
So, here are 20 hacks for slashing your grocery budget!
Let’s start with what you should do before you even enter the grocery store:
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1. Always Check the Weekly Ads
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Every week, most grocery stores send out ads saying what will be on sale. Take a look through the sales that are going on to get an idea of what you might want to buy and eat that week.
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2. Don’t Forget Coupons!
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You knew coupons were going to be on the list, right? You can often find coupons in those same weekly ads, online, or through a variety of apps. You don’t have to get all Extreme Couponing about it; just do a quick Google search and see if there are any savings you can count on.
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3. Meal Plan
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This is probably the No. 1 tip for spending less on your groceries. Whatever you do, do not just wander into a grocery store with an empty cart. When you do that, you end up grabbing a bunch of random stuff (and being left at the end of the week with oatmeal, popsicles, and a bag of flour).
Make a meal plan. And while you’re making that plan…
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4. Choose Ingredients That Can Perform Double Duty
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You can use lettuce for both tacos and for a salad — that’s two meals right there! Bread could be used for French toast and sandwiches. Make enchiladas one night, then use the tortillas for fajitas later in the week. You get the idea. The more ingredients that can pull double duty, the fewer things you have to buy.
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5. Only Buy In-Season Produce
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It’s not impossible to find out-of-season fruits and veggies, but it’s gonna cost you. Get familiar with what’s available and at what times. Also, keep in mind that if there’s a drought or other extreme weather event where your produce is grown, it’ll also make things more expensive.
There’s only one more step to do before heading to the grocery store…
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6. Make a List
This is a must. Make a list of everything you’re going to buy, and then don’t buy anything else. Not even that awesome new kind of potato chip. If you’re serious about sticking to your budget, you’ll stick to your list.
(To make things extra convenient, try to write your list roughly in the order of how things are laid out in the store so you’re not wandering aimlessly.)
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7. Do a Lot of This:
Look high, then look low. That’s where you want to be buying from. Stores purposefully put the more expensive items on the middle shelves, right at eye-level.
But you’re not gonna fall for that trick, are ya? Of course not.
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8. Stick to the Edges
In a similar vein, you also want to avoid going into the middle aisles as much as possible. For the most part, everything you need in the store will be located around the perimeter of the grocery store. If you find yourself venturing through the middle aisles, make sure it’s for a specific item (from your list!) and not just a way to find some snacks you didn’t budget for.
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9. Buy in Bulk (When it Makes Sense to Do So!)
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Sometimes it makes sense to buy things in bulk. like if you have a large family or are purchasing dry goods like beans, rice, pasta, and cereal. Stuff like paper towels and toilet paper can also be a smart bulk buy.
(Obviously, you’ll need to factor in whether you actually have space in your home to house 24 rolls of paper towel.)
But don’t assume just because you’re getting a lot of something that you’re getting a good deal. Are you going to be able to use the item up before it expires? If not, you’ll actually wind up wasting money (and food!).
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10. Buy Store-Brand Stuff (Sometimes!)
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For a lot of grocery items, the store brand is pretty much indistinguishable from the fancy name-brand stuff. Your mileage may vary depending on where you shop, but store-brand cereal is usually pretty dang good.
(Bonus tip: If you need seasonings, check in your store’s “ethnic” food aisle!)
Now, it’s time for some math…
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11. Check out the Price Per Ounce
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Stores will often display the “price per ounce” right on the shelf, otherwise, it’s pretty easy math to do in your head (or on your phone).
When comparing two different boxes or bottles of the same food, divide the entire price by how many ounces are in the container. The one with the lower price per ounce is the better deal (but again, make sure you have space in your house if you’re going with the gallon jug of vegetable oil!).
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12. Keep a Running Total
Whether you write it down, put it in your phone, or keep it in your head, pay attention to how much you’re going to spend. Round up as you’re calculating to account for tax (assuming you’re shopping in the U.S.).
It can be easy to just put stuff in your cart and then be surprised when it comes time checkout. But not if you’re tallying it up as you go!
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13. Get Ugly Produce
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Some stores have a discount produce section offering food that isn’t pretty (but is just as usable and delicious). Now is not the time to be proud. Grab those ugly tomatoes and save yourself some cash!
(If your store doesn’t have a discount produce section, check out Imperfect Produce. They mail reject produce right to your door!)
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14. Don’t Buy Pre-Shredded or Pre-Chopped Anything
You know that whole “price per ounce” thing we were talking about earlier? An ounce of block cheese is cheaper than an ounce of shredded cheese (and it tastes waaaaaay better, too). If you’re willing and able, buy the block of cheese and shred it yourself. You can even freeze it if you buy too much to use at once.
This also goes for onions, lettuce, carrots, or anything else you can buy pre-prepped.
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15. Skip the Beverages
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OK, this one might be a bit of a challenge depending on your diet and daily habits.
If you’re really trying to cut down on your grocery budget, consider not buying any beverages and just drink water with every meal. You can always get a couple lemons or limes to add to the water if you want the extra flavor!
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16. Consider Going to Multiple Stores
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Produce may be cheaper at one store, while dried goods are cheaper at another. It might be worth it to you to make the trip to multiple stores to get the best saving all-around.
(Then again, it might not make any sense at all. Are you going to spend more on gas than you’re saving? Is the money you’re saving worth the time it takes to finish grocery shopping? If not, don’t do it!)
And speaking of multiple stores…
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17. See if There’s a Day-Old Bread Store Near You
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These are filled with bread items that are one day past their “expiration” date — “expiration” in quotation marks because usually, the bread is still totally fine. And it is cheap. Like, usually more-than-50-percent-off cheap. Pick up two loaves and freeze one of them if you’re not going to use it right away.
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18. Or Make Your Own Bread
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You can make a delicious loaf of No-Knead Bread for about 50 cents. Obviously, it takes some time, but baking bread is probably easier than you think. Especially if you go with a no-knead bread recipe. You literally just mix some stuff in a bowl, let it sit for 24 hours, then bake it in the oven.
You can also make your own pasta using nothing more than flour and eggs. If you have the time and desire to do so, it’s usually cheaper to cook your own ingredients rather than buying pre-made stuff.
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18. Consider Having Your Groceries Delivered
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Depending on where you live, there may be a grocery delivery service that will bring your food right to you for a small price. A lot of stores are also rolling out curbside pickup services where you order ahead, then pull your car up to the store to load your groceries in.
Services like these ones are not only great for people with kids, mobility issues, or who just don’t feel like spending time at the grocery store; they could also cut down on impulse purchases so you end up spending less on groceries (even though the service isn’t free). Take a look and see if there’s something that might work for you!
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20. Get the Club Card
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So many places have these. They’re almost always free (the only “cost” is that you’re probably on a list to receive ads in the mail). A lot of times, the sale prices in a grocery store are only available if you have the card, so you’re probably better off signing up for it.
Plus, some stores offer additional discounts on other stuff, like gasoline or car washes.
Share this on Facebook with your coupon-clipping friends!
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Weekend Reading, 1.13.18
I’ve been reading a lot about authenticity lately. I guess this is self-selecting, as it’s a topic that interests me and tends to permeate the spaces I spend time in (yoga studios, blogs that focus on health and self-care, therapy). But authenticity seems to be having something of a moment, too—or so book titles and articles would suggest.
For the holidays, my mom gifted me with a copy of Baron Baptiste’s new book, Perfectly Imperfect. I was touched that she thought of it, knowing how important my yoga practice is to me. It’s concise and readable, and it contains lots of good insights into the true meaning of yoga practice.
The chapter that stood out most to me is called “the myth of the real yogi.” In it, Baptiste addresses the false notion that a true yogi is always serene, peaceful, enlightened, and compassionate. It’s not that the qualities aren’t desirable, but rather that embodying them all the time doesn’t leave much room for our whole, complex humanness.
He writes,
“I see a real yogi as someone who is committed to growth and to being the best version of themselves . . . [s]omeone who is not afraid to get real about the whole mess of who they are—the good, the bad, and the ugly; someone who can be open and own that they get depressed, stressed out, pissed off . . . I’m not advocating that anyone be a specific way. It’s just important to acknowledge who we are in all our forms and personal expressions, even if sometimes those forms are not how we’d like ourselves to be.
Why? Because hiding behind a mask costs us so much and leaves us with so little. On the surface, we may look polished and “perfect,” but hiding our true self in all its dimensions saps our life energy and robs us of the freedom to express ourselves genuinely, from the heart.”
I read those words last weekend, and oddly enough, this last week presented me with lots of small opportunities to speak my truth—including moments when being honest might have hurt, frustrated, irritated, or disappointed other people. I tried to bring authentic words to these encounters, but I was reminded of how much work it can be to be truthful.
When I say “truthful,” I don’t mean brutal honesty or being needlessly blunt. I mean what Baptiste is talking about—approaching interpersonal situations with sincerity and heart, speaking directly and honestly. It can be difficult to do this when you’re a people pleaser. I know it’s impossible to keep everyone happy all of the time, which is all the more reason to be forthwright. But it sure isn’t easy.
I don’t have anything particularly original to say about this, except that it’s on my mind a lot lately, and I’m still figuring out how to show up truthfully while also being sensitive and compassionate. It’s good to keep reading, to continue gathering inspiration, and to practice, practice, and practice some more.
If any books or creative works come to mind along these lines, I’d love some suggestions, or to hear what’s guided and inspired you in authentic, direct communication. In the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy the roundup of links and recipes this weekend.
Recipes
I love the vibrant colors of Sherrie’s garlicky kale bowls with red beans and cauliflower rice! (And also love how quickly the recipe comes together—15 minutes in a skillet).
A gorgeous winter vegetable side dish: a grilled beet and fennel salad with vegan yogurt and sprouted lentils from Denisse of Le Petit Eats.
Lindsey’s creamy red pepper cashew pasta is not only a perfect comfort food dish, but also surprisingly easy to make. I love the short ingredient list, especially for a hearty and crowd-pleasing meal like this.
More comfort food goodness! Adrianna’s creamy vegan kale and mushroom mac hits the spot for winter, and I also appreciated her candid words about visions and intentions for the new year.
Finally, an appetizer that’s impressive and deeply flavorful, but streamlined to make: Erin’s quick & easy focaccia pizza. I’m digging the sweet balsamic glaze and the unexpected topping combo of red onion and apple.
Reads
1. Sort of on topic—since perfectionism can really get in the way of authenticity—an article about how perfectionism seems to be on the rise, taking a toll on kids in particular. It’s concerning, and I agree with one of the experts profiled that schools and other organizations need to start stressing “compassion over competition.”
2. I’ve shared a lot of articles about weight stigma and its consequences within the healthcare industry, but I’m sharing another, because it’s so well-researched and thorough. Carrie Dennett covers the cost of weight stigma, from physician’s offices to social media to research.
3. I was inspired by this profile of NITEO, a pilot program at Boston University that’s dedicated to giving students the coping schools and bureaucratic support they need to navigate higher education while also managing severe anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.
4. I’m excited to see more and more thoughtful, bravely written work on adult anorexia. The latest to catch my eye is this essay by Lisa Fogerty, and the line that really struck me was this:
“For me, change is as much an enemy as weight gain and the body itself. Puberty is one of the most frequently discussed risk periods for the development of eating disorders. The frustration I have with the focus on puberty and eating disorders is that it doesn’t address the fact that every stage of life for a person with an eating disorder presents enormous changes.”
The times in my life when I became most susceptible to anorexia all involved substantive changes, either in the life cycle (early puberty) or in the course of my growth (going off to college, transitioning through my twenties). Even today, major life changes—especially those for which I don’t feel prepared—evoke that part of me that wonders whether tightening the grip on my diet would make me feel better. It’s so important for us to talk about this connection and to give women and men who have had EDs the tools they need to protect recovery longterm.
5. Finally, important reporting on how consolidation in the healthcare industry is injuring America’s rural and community hospitals.
This week, a comforting, warming, and wintery lentil dish to serve over your favorite grain. Look forward to sharing, and wishing you all a great rest of the weekend.
xo
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How to Learn Italian: 5 Top Tips for Italian Learners (Plus 5 Great Reasons to Learn Italian)
You want to know how to learn Italian? Good job! Italy is a wonderful country. The food, the architecture, the culture, the history, the romance. It’s one of my favourite places in the world. When you can parlare italiano, Italy opens up to you in a whole new way. Over at the Add1Challenge, we reached out to some of the most popular Italian YouTubers and teachers. We asked them for the best reasons to learn Italian - and their top tips for people who want to speak Italian, just like you. One more thing: We’re opening up a whole new way for you to learn Italian, with native Italian speakers. So make sure you read to the end. Enter the Italian experts...
5 Great Reasons to Learn Italian
Reasons to Learn Italian #1: Connect with the History, Heart and Soul of Italy
Manu from Italy made Easy says:
Italy is the country with the largest number of Cultural Sites protected by Unesco. What this means is that, if you like pretty things… you’ll end up visiting Italy sooner or later! You can probably name a few amazing destinations or attractions yourself. And there are plenty more to discover and explore. From the remains of the Roman Empire to the stunning works of art of the Renaissance, from the natural beauties of the Cinque Terre and the 7,500 kilometers (4,460 miles) of coastline to the canals of Venice, from the churches of Rome to the Vatican museums.
Manu continues:
You’ll never run out of places to visit and things to see in Italy. And while this is true for every country on earth, Italy has a very unique taste and characteristic that can only be felt in Italy which is why people love Italy so much! Being able to speak and understand Italian is the only way to experience all of this to its fullest potential. This is because Italy is not just art and buildings. Italy is a palette of colorful cultures, vibrant people, old traditions mixed with a modern society, all of which is not accessible without knowing the local language. It is only by knowing Italian that you’ll be able to experience the real Italy, the Italy you’ve been dreaming about! And… good news… Italian is one of the easiest languages to learn for English speakers! So go ahead and start speaking Italiano!
Reasons to Learn Italian #2: Italian is the Language of Music
Mark from Coffee Break Italian says:
It's often said that music itself is an international language, but if ever there was a language of music it must surely be Italian. You may wish to make sense of the "mezzoforte" or "andantino" on a piece of sheet music and Italian is "la chiave", the key which opens the door to a greater appreciation of music. This stems from the fact that musical notation as we know it nowadays was born in Renaissance Italy and it made sense for composers to write notes on the music indicating how it should be played.
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Alternatively, you may prefer to savour the sublime arias of Puccini, Verdi, Rossini or even Mozart, an Austrian composer, who chose to write the libretti of many of his operas in Italian. Perché? Mozart wrote in Italian because of the beauty of the language, the rhythm of the Italian words and the lyrical way in which "le belle parole italiane" are strung together into passionate declarations of love! So, whether it's opera performed by Pavarotti or the latest track released by Laura Pausini, Eros Ramazzotti or Umberto Tozzi, a knowledge of Italian will help you sing along - and know what you're saying!
Reasons to Learn Italian #3: A Beautiful Language that is Overlooked
Lucrezia from Learn Italian with Lucrezia says:
There could be many reasons for someone to learn Italian, ranging from wanting to speak the mother tongue of their grandparents to wanting to satisfy a simple and pure love for all things Italian. Whether you are learning Italian for one or another reason, the one thing I can assure you is that if you are not passionate about wanting to learn la bella lingua, you will find it difficult to succeed. This is true for any language, really. However, there is a reason I could win you over with. Very few people in the world know how to speak Italian, compared to the thousands and thousands of people learning to speaking English, Spanish or Chinese everyday. So, it is something that not everyone can do and that’s what makes it special!
Reasons to Learn Italian #4: The Italian Secret to Life
Katie and Matteo from Joy of Languages say:
One great reasons to learn Italian (apart from ice cream) is the people. The Italians have a saying “il dolce far niente”, which means the sweetness of doing nothing. Italian people know what’s important in life: they’re not constantly running from one thing to the next and they always have time for you. This is a huge plus when it comes to practicing the lingo with the locals.
They continue:
When you give Italian a go (even it’s only a few words at first) most Italians are patient, warm and happy to help. Also, many Italians feel more comfortable speaking their own language than English. This gives you a real reason to use your Italian, which helps you learn faster.
Reasons to Learn Italian #5: Enjoy Italy Without Breaking the Bank
Benny Lewis, founder of Fluent in 3 Months (this website!) says:
Italy is one of the most visited countries in the world by tourists, so it's very easy to find English speaking hotels, restaurants with translated menus & guides to show you around in your own tongue. But these come at a price - the "English speaking tax". These costs can add up quickly, to decide ultimately how long you'll be in the country, but if you explore off any tourist paths and whimsically find a nice restaurant that hasn't translated their menus, or get advice from locals of where to eat, then you can appreciate the vastness of the menus beyond the simple pizzas and pastas you may be used to. In my own case, my travel plans fell through once when I was in Italy during the incredibly busy Easter period and in Rome to make matters worse! Finding last minute accommodation would have been pricey, and eating out could have been far too busy in most places non-Italian speakers would go, but because I had local friends and spoke the language, one amico was very happy to invite me to his home and eat with four generations of his family. An absolutely priceless experience, that ended up costing me nothing!
5 Top Tips on How to Learn Italian
Learn Italian Tip 1: Start with Italian Pronunciation
Manu from Italy made Easy says:
The Italian language has a very simple phonetic system with just a few tricky sounds and a very predictable and consistent way of pronouncing vowels, consonants and sequences of sounds. Basically, it’s particularly easy to sound good when speaking Italian! A very smart approach to learning Italian is to start with the pronunciation. You’ll master it in no time and it will give you the best “value for money”. You can have the broadest vocabulary and the most impeccable grammar, but if Italians can’t understand you when you speak, all of that goodness will go to waste. Focusing on pronunciation is fun and it will give you incredibly fast results.
Here’s the three step process Manu recommends for getting to grips with Italian pronunciation:
Start by mastering the 5 vowels (A, E, I, O, U). Italian vowels are always pronounced clearly and openly and they always sound the same.
Then move on to syllables (BA, BE, BI, BO, BU), words (BROCCOLI, FINITO, etc) and entire phrases.
Start “shadowing”.
Manu explains shadowing like this:
“Shadowing” is a great and very effective technique to improve and master your Italian pronunciation. Find a video (with Italian subtitles) of a single Italian native speaker speaking clearly. Your goal is to imitate the Italian speaker by copying their speed, intonation, pitch and overall melody. It’s not an easy exercise, with it will do wonders for your Italian pronunciation!
Learn Italian Tip 2: Make the Most of Shower and Pillow Time
Mark from Coffee Break Italian says:
One of the best ways to improve your Italian is by getting into a habit of spending some time in the morning and evening talking to yourself. That may sound a bit crazy, but you'll be amazed at how helpful this easy technique can be. In the morning, start with a statement about what you're going to do that day. You can use a simple present tense, e.g. "oggi vado al cinema" (today I'm going to the cinema). If you know more Italian you can start to add in more information, for example when you're going, who else is going, or what you're doing before and after the cinema. Then, in the evening, it's time to think back over what you've done in the day. Just use present tenses again if you prefer, but if you feel comfortable using a past tense you can talk about what you did (using the perfect), how you felt or what the weather was like (using the imperfect), and perhaps even thinking ahead to tomorrow (using a future tense). For best results, do your morning Italian session in the shower - you can even speak aloud there as no-one will hear you! Then you can complete your evening session as you lay your head on the pillow to go to sleep.
Learn Italian Tip 3: Listen to Native Speakers
Lucrezia from Learn Italian with Lucrezia says:
One tip I would give to all of you interested in learning Italian is to listen to native speakers talking. Even if you are an absolute beginner. Spontaneous conversation, which is produced by native speakers, is the best way to get started. Conversation is in itself very spontaneous and immediate, so native speakers are pressured to produce language in the easiest way they know how. This means that following easy conversation between native speakers will motivate you to act, in this case speak, like them. The emulation game starts! It goes without saying that, if you are just starting out, it is preferable for you to choose very basic conversations or situational language, for example: at the supermarket, breakfast with friends, a discussion about favourite film, etc. After listening to a recorded conversation of your choice, try to repeat what they say on screen or audio. Stop and play as many times as you like, up until you feel confident enough to record yourself and listen to your recorded voice speaking Italian. This should help you avoid the initial block beginners often feel towards the active part of learning a language, that is speaking.
Learn Italian Tip 4: Discover the Italian You Already Know
Katie and Matteo from Joy of Languages say:
We’ll let you in on a secret - Italian is easier than you think. Let’s try a little experiment. How do you say the word “fantastic” in Italian? Wave your hands around like an Italian and do your best Italian accent. Did you guess fantastico? If you did, bravo, your guess was corretto! Around 58% of English words come from Latin or Romance languages. This means that that 1000s of English words are simile to Italian words. These words are called cognates, and they’re easy to learn and remember. Start by learning a few basic rules about how to transform English words into their Italian counterparts. For example, many words that end in al, like “formal”, become Italian by adding an -e on the end and pronouncing the ending slightly differently. So the Italian word for “formal” is formale, pronounced form-ah-leh and the Italian word for “general” is generale, pronounced gener-ah-leh. Google “Italian Cognates” and you’ll find loads more. Now when you start talking, you’ll already have thousands of words that you can use in conversation!
Learn Italian Tip 5: Try this Easy Approach to Spoken Practice
Benny Lewis of Fluent in 3 Months says:
Italian was one of the very first languages that I learned, while I was still very self conscious of making mistakes and worried that I'd be frustrating people. Gli italiani were crucial in giving me the confidence I needed to truly progress in language learning. It was because they are so pleased to hear a foreigner try to learn their language, that they'll very patiently hear you out, and encourage you to keep going. And yet, they'll naturally get back into their bubbly personality of speaking with passion that will keep you on your toes. It's the right balance of easing you in, but still making sure you have to keep trying. As a learner, and as someone travelling in Italy by himself, I found it incredibly easy to make new friends and loved how curious they were to hear from this traveller.
Bonus Tip: Take Action to Learn Italian, Today
You can have the most amazing Italian hacks, the most comprehensive Italian materials and the most effective Italian learning methods in the world but it’s completely useless if you don’t put them into a consistent learning routine in your everyday life. If we all know this, why don’t we do it? Because most of us scare ourselves to death by imagining how many mountains of hours and hours and hours we need to put in BEFORE we can have a conversation in Italian. But… What if we break down the hours of learning Italian to just 30 minutes a day, 4 days a week for 90 days? This is exactly what Nina did in the Add1Challenge, you can see her result with learning Italian from scratch in the follow videos.
Nina’s Day 0 Italian Video
httpvh://youtu.be/jckgulgkHgc
Nina’s Day 90 Italian Video:
httpvh://youtu.be/TfO2Ef5-EbA
Could You Do the Same in 90 Days?
Most people are surprised by this result, including Nina herself. Yet Tina (Day 0 / Day 90), Alex (Day 0 / Day 90) and many, many other language learners who took part in the Add1Challenge got similar results. After helping thousands of language learners speaking their target language in holding at least a 15 minute conversations with a native speaker in 90 day, what we found is... We often underestimate the power of consistency, because we have never been consistent for a long enough to allow the result to reveal itself, especially in learning to speak a language. A routine of just 30 minutes a day, 4 days a week for 90 days is what we found the minimum sweet spot if you want to be able to have a 15 minute conversation with an Italian in just 90 days. Learning Italian is not so intimidating anymore right? :) You can now implement these hacks into your learning routine on your own. Better yet, apply for the Add1Challenge and begin this 90 day journey together with other Italian learners around the world, with a new twist :)
A Brand New Add1Challenge - Are You In?
On February 13th 2017, the Add1Challenge is launching something NEW: A brand new “Italian | English Add1Challenge” exclusively for English speakers learning Italian AND Italian speakers learning English! This 90 days Italian | English Add1Challenge will keep you motivated, accountable and empower you to incorporate an Italian or English learning routine into your everyday life. Not only that, since there will be Italians learning English in the same Add1Challenge together with you, this means you can practice speaking Italian with Italians (!) and make Italian friends who are on the same language learning journey together with you in the next 90 days. And the cherry on top: One Add1Challenge finalist will have the chance to win a round trip flight-ticket to Italy, or contribution to their ticket (max value $500). (We have been giving away a flight to one participant of every Add1Challenge since April 2015) We will be opening for application very soon so if you’d like to join the Add1Challenge to finally speak Italian with Italians in 90 days, you can join us here. See you inside!
The post How to Learn Italian: 5 Top Tips for Italian Learners (Plus 5 Great Reasons to Learn Italian) appeared first on Fluent in 3 months - Language Hacking and Travel Tips.
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Weekend Reading, 1.13.18
I’ve been reading a lot about authenticity lately. I guess this is self-selecting, as it’s a topic that interests me and tends to permeate the spaces I spend time in (yoga studios, blogs that focus on health and self-care, therapy). But authenticity seems to be having something of a moment, too—or so book titles and articles would suggest.
For the holidays, my mom gifted me with a copy of Baron Baptiste’s new book, Perfectly Imperfect. I was touched that she thought of it, knowing how important my yoga practice is to me. It’s concise and readable, and it contains lots of good insights into the true meaning of yoga practice.
The chapter that stood out most to me is called “the myth of the real yogi.” In it, Baptiste addresses the false notion that a true yogi is always serene, peaceful, enlightened, and compassionate. It’s not that the qualities aren’t desirable, but rather that embodying them all the time doesn’t leave much room for our whole, complex humanness.
He writes,
“I see a real yogi as someone who is committed to growth and to being the best version of themselves . . . [s]omeone who is not afraid to get real about the whole mess of who they are—the good, the bad, and the ugly; someone who can be open and own that they get depressed, stressed out, pissed off . . . I’m not advocating that anyone be a specific way. It’s just important to acknowledge who we are in all our forms and personal expressions, even if sometimes those forms are not how we’d like ourselves to be.
Why? Because hiding behind a mask costs us so much and leaves us with so little. On the surface, we may look polished and “perfect,” but hiding our true self in all its dimensions saps our life energy and robs us of the freedom to express ourselves genuinely, from the heart.”
I read those words last weekend, and oddly enough, this last week presented me with lots of small opportunities to speak my truth—including moments when being honest might have hurt, frustrated, irritated, or disappointed other people. I tried to bring authentic words to these encounters, but I was reminded of how much work it can be to be truthful.
When I say “truthful,” I don’t mean brutal honesty or being needlessly blunt. I mean what Baptiste is talking about—approaching interpersonal situations with sincerity and heart, speaking directly and honestly. It can be difficult to do this when you’re a people pleaser. I know it’s impossible to keep everyone happy all of the time, which is all the more reason to be forthwright. But it sure isn’t easy.
I don’t have anything particularly original to say about this, except that it’s on my mind a lot lately, and I’m still figuring out how to show up truthfully while also being sensitive and compassionate. It’s good to keep reading, to continue gathering inspiration, and to practice, practice, and practice some more.
If any books or creative works come to mind along these lines, I’d love some suggestions, or to hear what’s guided and inspired you in authentic, direct communication. In the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy the roundup of links and recipes this weekend.
Recipes
I love the vibrant colors of Sherrie’s garlicky kale bowls with red beans and cauliflower rice! (And also love how quickly the recipe comes together—15 minutes in a skillet).
A gorgeous winter vegetable side dish: a grilled beet and fennel salad with vegan yogurt and sprouted lentils from Denisse of Le Petit Eats.
Lindsey’s creamy red pepper cashew pasta is not only a perfect comfort food dish, but also surprisingly easy to make. I love the short ingredient list, especially for a hearty and crowd-pleasing meal like this.
More comfort food goodness! Adrianna’s creamy vegan kale and mushroom mac hits the spot for winter, and I also appreciated her candid words about visions and intentions for the new year.
Finally, an appetizer that’s impressive and deeply flavorful, but streamlined to make: Erin’s quick & easy focaccia pizza. I’m digging the sweet balsamic glaze and the unexpected topping combo of red onion and apple.
Reads
1. Sort of on topic—since perfectionism can really get in the way of authenticity—an article about how perfectionism seems to be on the rise, taking a toll on kids in particular. It’s concerning, and I agree with one of the experts profiled that schools and other organizations need to start stressing “compassion over competition.”
2. I’ve shared a lot of articles about weight stigma and its consequences within the healthcare industry, but I’m sharing another, because it’s so well-researched and thorough. Carrie Dennett covers the cost of weight stigma, from physician’s offices to social media to research.
3. I was inspired by this profile of NITEO, a pilot program at Boston University that’s dedicated to giving students the coping schools and bureaucratic support they need to navigate higher education while also managing severe anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.
4. I’m excited to see more and more thoughtful, bravely written work on adult anorexia. The latest to catch my eye is this essay by Lisa Fogerty, and the line that really struck me was this:
“For me, change is as much an enemy as weight gain and the body itself. Puberty is one of the most frequently discussed risk periods for the development of eating disorders. The frustration I have with the focus on puberty and eating disorders is that it doesn’t address the fact that every stage of life for a person with an eating disorder presents enormous changes.”
The times in my life when I became most susceptible to anorexia all involved substantive changes, either in the life cycle (early puberty) or in the course of my growth (going off to college, transitioning through my twenties). Even today, major life changes—especially those for which I don’t feel prepared—evoke that part of me that wonders whether tightening the grip on my diet would make me feel better. It’s so important for us to talk about this connection and to give women and men who have had EDs the tools they need to protect recovery longterm.
5. Finally, important reporting on how consolidation in the healthcare industry is injuring America’s rural and community hospitals.
This week, a comforting, warming, and wintery lentil dish to serve over your favorite grain. Look forward to sharing, and wishing you all a great rest of the weekend.
xo
The post Weekend Reading, 1.13.18 appeared first on The Full Helping.
Weekend Reading, 1.13.18 published first on https://storeseapharmacy.tumblr.com
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Weekend Reading, 1.13.18
I’ve been reading a lot about authenticity lately. I guess this is self-selecting, as it’s a topic that interests me and tends to permeate the spaces I spend time in (yoga studios, blogs that focus on health and self-care, therapy). But authenticity seems to be having something of a moment, too—or so book titles and articles would suggest.
For the holidays, my mom gifted me with a copy of Baron Baptiste’s new book, Perfectly Imperfect. I was touched that she thought of it, knowing how important my yoga practice is to me. It’s concise and readable, and it contains lots of good insights into the true meaning of yoga practice.
The chapter that stood out most to me is called “the myth of the real yogi.” In it, Baptiste addresses the false notion that a true yogi is always serene, peaceful, enlightened, and compassionate. It’s not that the qualities aren’t desirable, but rather that embodying them all the time doesn’t leave much room for our whole, complex humanness.
He writes,
“I see a real yogi as someone who is committed to growth and to being the best version of themselves . . . [s]omeone who is not afraid to get real about the whole mess of who they are—the good, the bad, and the ugly; someone who can be open and own that they get depressed, stressed out, pissed off . . . I’m not advocating that anyone be a specific way. It’s just important to acknowledge who we are in all our forms and personal expressions, even if sometimes those forms are not how we’d like ourselves to be.
Why? Because hiding behind a mask costs us so much and leaves us with so little. On the surface, we may look polished and “perfect,” but hiding our true self in all its dimensions saps our life energy and robs us of the freedom to express ourselves genuinely, from the heart.”
I read those words last weekend, and oddly enough, this last week presented me with lots of small opportunities to speak my truth—including moments when being honest might have hurt, frustrated, irritated, or disappointed other people. I tried to bring authentic words to these encounters, but I was reminded of how much work it can be to be truthful.
When I say “truthful,” I don’t mean brutal honesty or being needlessly blunt. I mean what Baptiste is talking about—approaching interpersonal situations with sincerity and heart, speaking directly and honestly. It can be difficult to do this when you’re a people pleaser. I know it’s impossible to keep everyone happy all of the time, which is all the more reason to be forthwright. But it sure isn’t easy.
I don’t have anything particularly original to say about this, except that it’s on my mind a lot lately, and I’m still figuring out how to show up truthfully while also being sensitive and compassionate. It’s good to keep reading, to continue gathering inspiration, and to practice, practice, and practice some more.
If any books or creative works come to mind along these lines, I’d love some suggestions, or to hear what’s guided and inspired you in authentic, direct communication. In the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy the roundup of links and recipes this weekend.
Recipes
I love the vibrant colors of Sherrie’s garlicky kale bowls with red beans and cauliflower rice! (And also love how quickly the recipe comes together—15 minutes in a skillet).
A gorgeous winter vegetable side dish: a grilled beet and fennel salad with vegan yogurt and sprouted lentils from Denisse of Le Petit Eats.
Lindsey’s creamy red pepper cashew pasta is not only a perfect comfort food dish, but also surprisingly easy to make. I love the short ingredient list, especially for a hearty and crowd-pleasing meal like this.
More comfort food goodness! Adrianna’s creamy vegan kale and mushroom mac hits the spot for winter, and I also appreciated her candid words about visions and intentions for the new year.
Finally, an appetizer that’s impressive and deeply flavorful, but streamlined to make: Erin’s quick & easy focaccia pizza. I’m digging the sweet balsamic glaze and the unexpected topping combo of red onion and apple.
Reads
1. Sort of on topic—since perfectionism can really get in the way of authenticity—an article about how perfectionism seems to be on the rise, taking a toll on kids in particular. It’s concerning, and I agree with one of the experts profiled that schools and other organizations need to start stressing “compassion over competition.”
2. I’ve shared a lot of articles about weight stigma and its consequences within the healthcare industry, but I’m sharing another, because it’s so well-researched and thorough. Carrie Dennett covers the cost of weight stigma, from physician’s offices to social media to research.
3. I was inspired by this profile of NITEO, a pilot program at Boston University that’s dedicated to giving students the coping schools and bureaucratic support they need to navigate higher education while also managing severe anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.
4. I’m excited to see more and more thoughtful, bravely written work on adult anorexia. The latest to catch my eye is this essay by Lisa Fogerty, and the line that really struck me was this:
“For me, change is as much an enemy as weight gain and the body itself. Puberty is one of the most frequently discussed risk periods for the development of eating disorders. The frustration I have with the focus on puberty and eating disorders is that it doesn’t address the fact that every stage of life for a person with an eating disorder presents enormous changes.”
The times in my life when I became most susceptible to anorexia all involved substantive changes, either in the life cycle (early puberty) or in the course of my growth (going off to college, transitioning through my twenties). Even today, major life changes—especially those for which I don’t feel prepared—evoke that part of me that wonders whether tightening the grip on my diet would make me feel better. It’s so important for us to talk about this connection and to give women and men who have had EDs the tools they need to protect recovery longterm.
5. Finally, important reporting on how consolidation in the healthcare industry is injuring America’s rural and community hospitals.
This week, a comforting, warming, and wintery lentil dish to serve over your favorite grain. Look forward to sharing, and wishing you all a great rest of the weekend.
xo
The post Weekend Reading, 1.13.18 appeared first on The Full Helping.
Weekend Reading, 1.13.18 published first on http://ift.tt/2iVxKPq
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Text
Weekend Reading, 1.13.18
I’ve been reading a lot about authenticity lately. I guess this is self-selecting, as it’s a topic that interests me and tends to permeate the spaces I spend time in (yoga studios, blogs that focus on health and self-care, therapy). But authenticity seems to be having something of a moment, too—or so book titles and articles would suggest.
For the holidays, my mom gifted me with a copy of Baron Baptiste’s new book, Perfectly Imperfect. I was touched that she thought of it, knowing how important my yoga practice is to me. It’s concise and readable, and it contains lots of good insights into the true meaning of yoga practice.
The chapter that stood out most to me is called “the myth of the real yogi.” In it, Baptiste addresses the false notion that a true yogi is always serene, peaceful, enlightened, and compassionate. It’s not that the qualities aren’t desirable, but rather that embodying them all the time doesn’t leave much room for our whole, complex humanness.
He writes,
“I see a real yogi as someone who is committed to growth and to being the best version of themselves . . . [s]omeone who is not afraid to get real about the whole mess of who they are—the good, the bad, and the ugly; someone who can be open and own that they get depressed, stressed out, pissed off . . . I’m not advocating that anyone be a specific way. It’s just important to acknowledge who we are in all our forms and personal expressions, even if sometimes those forms are not how we’d like ourselves to be.
Why? Because hiding behind a mask costs us so much and leaves us with so little. On the surface, we may look polished and “perfect,” but hiding our true self in all its dimensions saps our life energy and robs us of the freedom to express ourselves genuinely, from the heart.”
I read those words last weekend, and oddly enough, this last week presented me with lots of small opportunities to speak my truth—including moments when being honest might have hurt, frustrated, irritated, or disappointed other people. I tried to bring authentic words to these encounters, but I was reminded of how much work it can be to be truthful.
When I say “truthful,” I don’t mean brutal honesty or being needlessly blunt. I mean what Baptiste is talking about—approaching interpersonal situations with sincerity and heart, speaking directly and honestly. It can be difficult to do this when you’re a people pleaser. I know it’s impossible to keep everyone happy all of the time, which is all the more reason to be forthwright. But it sure isn’t easy.
I don’t have anything particularly original to say about this, except that it’s on my mind a lot lately, and I’m still figuring out how to show up truthfully while also being sensitive and compassionate. It’s good to keep reading, to continue gathering inspiration, and to practice, practice, and practice some more.
If any books or creative works come to mind along these lines, I’d love some suggestions, or to hear what’s guided and inspired you in authentic, direct communication. In the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy the roundup of links and recipes this weekend.
Recipes
I love the vibrant colors of Sherrie’s garlicky kale bowls with red beans and cauliflower rice! (And also love how quickly the recipe comes together—15 minutes in a skillet).
A gorgeous winter vegetable side dish: a grilled beet and fennel salad with vegan yogurt and sprouted lentils from Denisse of Le Petit Eats.
Lindsey’s creamy red pepper cashew pasta is not only a perfect comfort food dish, but also surprisingly easy to make. I love the short ingredient list, especially for a hearty and crowd-pleasing meal like this.
More comfort food goodness! Adrianna’s creamy vegan kale and mushroom mac hits the spot for winter, and I also appreciated her candid words about visions and intentions for the new year.
Finally, an appetizer that’s impressive and deeply flavorful, but streamlined to make: Erin’s quick & easy focaccia pizza. I’m digging the sweet balsamic glaze and the unexpected topping combo of red onion and apple.
Reads
1. Sort of on topic—since perfectionism can really get in the way of authenticity—an article about how perfectionism seems to be on the rise, taking a toll on kids in particular. It’s concerning, and I agree with one of the experts profiled that schools and other organizations need to start stressing “compassion over competition.”
2. I’ve shared a lot of articles about weight stigma and its consequences within the healthcare industry, but I’m sharing another, because it’s so well-researched and thorough. Carrie Dennett covers the cost of weight stigma, from physician’s offices to social media to research.
3. I was inspired by this profile of NITEO, a pilot program at Boston University that’s dedicated to giving students the coping schools and bureaucratic support they need to navigate higher education while also managing severe anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.
4. I’m excited to see more and more thoughtful, bravely written work on adult anorexia. The latest to catch my eye is this essay by Lisa Fogerty, and the line that really struck me was this:
“For me, change is as much an enemy as weight gain and the body itself. Puberty is one of the most frequently discussed risk periods for the development of eating disorders. The frustration I have with the focus on puberty and eating disorders is that it doesn’t address the fact that every stage of life for a person with an eating disorder presents enormous changes.”
The times in my life when I became most susceptible to anorexia all involved substantive changes, either in the life cycle (early puberty) or in the course of my growth (going off to college, transitioning through my twenties). Even today, major life changes—especially those for which I don’t feel prepared—evoke that part of me that wonders whether tightening the grip on my diet would make me feel better. It’s so important for us to talk about this connection and to give women and men who have had EDs the tools they need to protect recovery longterm.
5. Finally, important reporting on how consolidation in the healthcare industry is injuring America’s rural and community hospitals.
This week, a comforting, warming, and wintery lentil dish to serve over your favorite grain. Look forward to sharing, and wishing you all a great rest of the weekend.
xo
The post Weekend Reading, 1.13.18 appeared first on The Full Helping.
Weekend Reading, 1.13.18 published first on
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Weekend Reading, 1.13.18
I’ve been reading a lot about authenticity lately. I guess this is self-selecting, as it’s a topic that interests me and tends to permeate the spaces I spend time in (yoga studios, blogs that focus on health and self-care, therapy). But authenticity seems to be having something of a moment, too—or so book titles and articles would suggest.
For the holidays, my mom gifted me with a copy of Baron Baptiste’s new book, Perfectly Imperfect. I was touched that she thought of it, knowing how important my yoga practice is to me. It’s concise and readable, and it contains lots of good insights into the true meaning of yoga practice.
The chapter that stood out most to me is called “the myth of the real yogi.” In it, Baptiste addresses the false notion that a true yogi is always serene, peaceful, enlightened, and compassionate. It’s not that the qualities aren’t desirable, but rather that embodying them all the time doesn’t leave much room for our whole, complex humanness.
He writes,
“I see a real yogi as someone who is committed to growth and to being the best version of themselves . . . [s]omeone who is not afraid to get real about the whole mess of who they are—the good, the bad, and the ugly; someone who can be open and own that they get depressed, stressed out, pissed off . . . I’m not advocating that anyone be a specific way. It’s just important to acknowledge who we are in all our forms and personal expressions, even if sometimes those forms are not how we’d like ourselves to be.
Why? Because hiding behind a mask costs us so much and leaves us with so little. On the surface, we may look polished and “perfect,” but hiding our true self in all its dimensions saps our life energy and robs us of the freedom to express ourselves genuinely, from the heart.”
I read those words last weekend, and oddly enough, this last week presented me with lots of small opportunities to speak my truth—including moments when being honest might have hurt, frustrated, irritated, or disappointed other people. I tried to bring authentic words to these encounters, but I was reminded of how much work it can be to be truthful.
When I say “truthful,” I don’t mean brutal honesty or being needlessly blunt. I mean what Baptiste is talking about—approaching interpersonal situations with sincerity and heart, speaking directly and honestly. It can be difficult to do this when you’re a people pleaser. I know it’s impossible to keep everyone happy all of the time, which is all the more reason to be forthwright. But it sure isn’t easy.
I don’t have anything particularly original to say about this, except that it’s on my mind a lot lately, and I’m still figuring out how to show up truthfully while also being sensitive and compassionate. It’s good to keep reading, to continue gathering inspiration, and to practice, practice, and practice some more.
If any books or creative works come to mind along these lines, I’d love some suggestions, or to hear what’s guided and inspired you in authentic, direct communication. In the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy the roundup of links and recipes this weekend.
Recipes
I love the vibrant colors of Sherrie’s garlicky kale bowls with red beans and cauliflower rice! (And also love how quickly the recipe comes together—15 minutes in a skillet).
A gorgeous winter vegetable side dish: a grilled beet and fennel salad with vegan yogurt and sprouted lentils from Denisse of Le Petit Eats.
Lindsey’s creamy red pepper cashew pasta is not only a perfect comfort food dish, but also surprisingly easy to make. I love the short ingredient list, especially for a hearty and crowd-pleasing meal like this.
More comfort food goodness! Adrianna’s creamy vegan kale and mushroom mac hits the spot for winter, and I also appreciated her candid words about visions and intentions for the new year.
Finally, an appetizer that’s impressive and deeply flavorful, but streamlined to make: Erin’s quick & easy focaccia pizza. I’m digging the sweet balsamic glaze and the unexpected topping combo of red onion and apple.
Reads
1. Sort of on topic—since perfectionism can really get in the way of authenticity—an article about how perfectionism seems to be on the rise, taking a toll on kids in particular. It’s concerning, and I agree with one of the experts profiled that schools and other organizations need to start stressing “compassion over competition.”
2. I’ve shared a lot of articles about weight stigma and its consequences within the healthcare industry, but I’m sharing another, because it’s so well-researched and thorough. Carrie Dennett covers the cost of weight stigma, from physician’s offices to social media to research.
3. I was inspired by this profile of NITEO, a pilot program at Boston University that’s dedicated to giving students the coping schools and bureaucratic support they need to navigate higher education while also managing severe anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.
4. I’m excited to see more and more thoughtful, bravely written work on adult anorexia. The latest to catch my eye is this essay by Lisa Fogerty, and the line that really struck me was this:
“For me, change is as much an enemy as weight gain and the body itself. Puberty is one of the most frequently discussed risk periods for the development of eating disorders. The frustration I have with the focus on puberty and eating disorders is that it doesn’t address the fact that every stage of life for a person with an eating disorder presents enormous changes.”
The times in my life when I became most susceptible to anorexia all involved substantive changes, either in the life cycle (early puberty) or in the course of my growth (going off to college, transitioning through my twenties). Even today, major life changes—especially those for which I don’t feel prepared—evoke that part of me that wonders whether tightening the grip on my diet would make me feel better. It’s so important for us to talk about this connection and to give women and men who have had EDs the tools they need to protect recovery longterm.
5. Finally, important reporting on how consolidation in the healthcare industry is injuring America’s rural and community hospitals.
This week, a comforting, warming, and wintery lentil dish to serve over your favorite grain. Look forward to sharing, and wishing you all a great rest of the weekend.
xo
The post Weekend Reading, 1.13.18 appeared first on The Full Helping.
Weekend Reading, 1.13.18 published first on http://ift.tt/2iVxKPq
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