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princecharmingmendes · 3 years

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Heart by Heart | Chapter II | Raul Mendes

*secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the second chapter of this series, you can find the first one here. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading!

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*Word Count: 5.2K+

*Warnings: cursing, mentions of violence/crimes, migraine due to work stress, Raul teasing the reader endlessly (for me, that’s the most important warning). Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings.

*Posted: July 8th, 2021.

-*-

A week later things were back to normal.

Sure, the night they came back, after they were checked for any injuries on the med department and were cleared, Raul dragged her back to his apartment claiming he was craving sushi and he was only ordering if she was with him. In reality, that was a way to keeping his head busy with something else so the events of that day would be coped nicely without so much suffering. And one way of doing it was keeping his girl, best friend and partner, at a close distance so he knew she’d be safe and well.

He was extra sweet that night, making sure she had everything she needed, even agreed to put on face masks with her while watching a random movie. And she was really glad to have him near. The thought of him getting her, or worst... it just killed her a bit. But he was safe and he had his arms securely around her, and that was enough to put her on dreamland and having a great night of sleep.

Unfortunately that was not the case for Y/N today.

Ever since Seth was back, he spent most of his time on the med bay to recover, he had to go through surgery and was finally recovering, but ever since he was back, every piece of information he had was being collected, and she was the one responsible to write it down. Most of the info he had was encoded and she was supposed to break it. Y/N’s been working nonstop for the past week, and when she had the opportunity to relax all by herself in her house, she felt restless. The main reason is that the person who had Seth was one of the most wanted man on the planet. Geonoff Reyes was capable of the vilest things without giving a second thought, and he’s been wanted for years now, and apparently Seth had the newest information of his whereabouts and new plans.

And knowing that was enough to put Y/N in restless nights of sleep, when she was even able to drift off. Most of her hours were invested on figuring out whatever she could, and several nights were only the continuation of her job during the day. And yeah, it was reckless and a bit stupid of her to sacrifice so much in a research, but Y/N knew this was a great opportunity and the biggest amount of clues they’ve ever received, she couldn’t let this all go. And she had to work fast, so Geonoff didn’t have enough time to notice some information missing or that someone outside of his limited inner circle so he wouldn’t chance anything. Or even move outside the country again, putting a massive political obstacle on their way.

Y/N should’ve known better than to barely get any sleep in over seven days. She knew better than to barely eat or drink anything other than coffee. She knew and did it anyone. And that’s why she ended up where she was. Seven A.M. sharp on her little office on her company’s Head Quarters with a killing migraine that only got worse under the fluorescent lights. Y/N groaned softly as she basically collided on her office chair, cursing under her breath whoever thought bright white lights was a great idea. She was softly rubbing her temples when she heard a knock on her door, before someone came in without being invited, a delicious smell of coffee coming alongside the intruder. She didn’t need to look up to know Raul would be standing right in front of her desk.

“What?” she grumbled, spinning in her chair to turn on her computer without even sparing a glance at him.

Raul chuckled “good morning to you too, sunshine, I’m not even daring to ask how you are”

Y/N rolled her eyes and wincing at the pain the movement brought her “look, go pester someone else, I’m not in a good day”

“Yeah, that’s easy to see, gremlin, that’s why I brought you this” and a soft thud on her desk made her turn.

Raul was standing in front of her desk as she imagined, wearing his usual black outfit, a long sleeved tight turtleneck, accentuating all the muscles on his arms and back, tucked into a pair of dark grey trousers and Y/N had to hold back all her thoughts that were rather inappropriate to have on your best friend. And she wanted to be mad at how effortlessly beautiful he looked, just standing there, hands supporting his weight on the glass table as he leant forward casually to pick at her computer. He looked like a fucking runaway model at seven in the morning, his citric scent leaving her slightly intoxicated, but she knew he didn’t do it on purpose, he was just naturally hot.

She than darted her eyes from his body quickly to not seem as if she was ogling him, which she totally was, only to be met with a steaming cup of black coffee. She rolled her eyes on the little attempts of black hearts he drew with a sharpie alongside a poorly written ‘secret admirer’ on the disposable cup. Y/N shook her head huffing a laugh as she took it.

“Aren’t you supposed to thank me?”

Y/N arched her brow at him “what for, exactly?”

“For being the best friend you’ll ever have?!” he stated as if it was obvious “come on, you look like you need it and I swear I didn’t spike it with anything”

“You’re saying you did out of your own free will? A benevolent act?” Y/N questioned playfully inspecting the cup.

Raul scoffed feigning hurt “Of course, I’m a good guy, practically a gentleman, you gremlin, how dare you think any different?” Behind all the teasing in his voice, she could see the worry evident in his golden eyes. Raul didn’t know all the details about what she was digging into since that were her boss’s order, but he knew enough to know she was probably overworking herself and getting a bit anxious. He knew her better than anyone and there were barely any secrets between them.

“Fine” Y/N sighed taking a sip from the coffee, and it was precisely what she liked “thank you for being a decent human being once in your lifetime”

“You are very welcome, so any news?” he asked pointing to the screens of her computer.

“Not really, I guess I was too tired to do much last night” she said opening all the images she had collected over the past week on her five computer screens “you know basically all the important stuff I gathered, I’m also monitoring the surveillance cameras on the places he might be, trying to get a glimpse of him, but till now nothing, only this car that’s been parked here for five days now”

“Weird”

Y/N giggled to herself before closing everything again “yeah, I know”

“So, I didn’t exactly came here just for the coffee” Raul said crossing his arms across his chest, standing on his full height, his biceps popping against the fabric of his shirt.

“Of course not, I was just waiting for you order, cap” she said as she reached into her purse for a painkiller.

His signature smirk appeared as he beamed down at her “Don’t tempt me, doll”

“What is it then?” she asked and before Raul could reply, someone knocked on her door.

“Come in” he managed to say before her and soon enough Raul’s copy stuck his head inside.

“Oh hi guys” Peter said before fully walking in and closing the door behind him “Am I interrupting something?”

“No, what do you need?” Y/N said turning to face him completely.

Seeing Peter right beside Raul just made them look a lot more different. Sure, they were triplets, but they had completely opposite personalities. While Raul looked like a super model bad boy out of every romcom, Peter looked soft and gentle. He was just as handsome, his hair a bit more messy and a pair of glasses perched on his nose, adding to the soft features. He also wore light washed jeans and a very soft looking button up, a permanent blush on his cheeks. And despite the 6’3 and big muscles, he was almost like a walking teddy bear with a golden heart, specially if you got to know him.

“I actually have some stuff for you two to test on my lab downstairs, and I thought since I was already here I could call you two to join me”

“Oh of course” Y/N said jumping to her feet and cursing under her breath, momentarily having forgotten the excruciating migraine she was still having “now right?”

“Yeah, but only if you can”

“Sure, come on, Raul” Y/N said grabbing her cup of coffee before walking to the door.

Raul chuckled lowly before following her and his brother to the elevator “whatever you say, boss”

“Don’t give me any ideas” she mumbled before pressing the button, but as soon as the doors opened, Y/N regretted getting out of her office.

Standing on the elevator was Daphne. Daphne was one breathtakingly gorgeous woman. With bright green eyes and golden soft model like waves, always dressed nicely and with paper white teeth, and to top that, she was a great agent. But she clearly had a crush on Raul and she’s been hitting on him for a while now, but he didn’t seem to care much, which made no sense at all. And for some reason she wasn’t as friendly towards Y/N, Daphne was never directly rude, but she always made sure to look her up and down and was never her friendly self. And Y/N wasn’t one to push anyone to like her, it just made situations like this a bit more awkward.

“Oh hello” Daphne said with a warm smile.

“Morning” Raul responded as he climbed in the elevator.

Y/N mumbled a quick “hi” before moving to the back of it with Peter.

Daphne turned towards Raul and gently placed her hand on his bicep “I heard about the little incident on your latest mission, are you alright?”

“Oh yeah, not even a single scratch”

“That’s great, I mean, how did it happen again? Was it a failure on the planning or watching?” she asked and Y/N almost spat the coffee she was drinking, seeing Peter send a look her way.

“It was my fault actually, the team handed it pretty well” Raul replied unceremoniously.

“Oh, I see” she said pulling her hand from his arm and nervously placing a strand of loose hair behind her ear “hm, actually there was something I wanted to ask you”

God, how long could this elevator take to arrive on the last floor.

Raul only hummed in response, turning his face to the side to watch her so Daphne proceeded “Hm, there’s this new place that opened this weekend down the street and apparently the sandwiches there are amazing, me and a few other agents were planning to have lunch there today, and I was wondering if you’d like to join”

With that he truly seemed taken aback a bit “oh, I unfortunately can’t today, I’m sorry” with that he turned back to face Y/N “that’s what I wanted to tell you earlier, we have that lunch meeting today, Shawn’s in town and he wanted to invite you to lunch with us and his friends”

“Oh shit, I completely forgot” Y/N whined, her head pounding “I don’t think I can make it today, I’m so sorry”

Raul smiled softly at her “yeah, I figured, if you get any better let me know”

“Oh you’re sick?” Daphne asked turning to her as well.

Y/N shook her head, regretting it immediately “just a bit of a migraine”

“I hope you get better soon” Daphne offered a tight lip smile and Y/N just nodded in response.

“We’re here” Peter said for the first time “Bye, Daphne” he said getting out of the elevator pulling Y/N with him.

“Why are you running? Slow down, you’re gonna pull my arm off” Y/N hushed it as Peter kept on with the fast pace.

“What was that?” he asked in a low tone.

Y/N then came in realization “right?! Why won’t he go out with her?”

“I think he might be just not interested at all, but I wasn’t talking about that, you know Raul can be pretty secretive about his feelings, right?” Peter asked with an archer brow, knowing look on his eyes.

Y/N stepped into his lab alongside him “well yeah”

“I don’t know, I think I saw something there”

“Between me and Raul?!”

Peter leaned against his desk with his arms crossed “Well, more of him towards you, it’s actually something I’ve been noticing for a while”

“What are you even talking about? He’s always been like that with me” Y/N tried avoiding Peter’s gaze, afraid somehow that would give away the little spark of hope on her eyes.

“No, I mean, yes, but I feel like that intensified a bit, just pay attention to it” he said and then looked behind her.

Y/N turned around only to be met with Raul standing at the door “sorry, got a little caught up”

“We noticed, cap, it’s okay, no important details were discussed in your absence” she said teasingly and he just rolled his eyes playfully at her.

“Okay, I upgraded your coms a bit, so switching between channels will be easier” Peter started picking up the little earpieces up “And I also took notes about the appearance of my glasses yeah? Now would you mind approving the design of it, miss fashion icon”

Y/N laughed softly and went to check on the 3D design “thank you, I do take fashion very seriously, I only loose it to your brother”

Raul scoffed “Of course I would be involved in it somehow”

Peter laughed “come on, I need to show you this thing I want to put on your suit, Y/N can you please check the new computer I promised you?”

“Oh my, it’s ready?” She said turning to them, suddenly feeling a lot better.

“It’s on the corner right there, just feel free to explore it and adapt it to how you like it best, and then it’s yours” Peter said with a bright smile on his features as he dragged Raul away.

Y/N sat down on the desk he pouted at, opening the super resistant protective case and being faced with a beautiful tiny computer she could use on future missions. She finished her coffee, feeling the medicine kick in as she dumped the empty cup on the trash, before sitting down in front of her new screen and starting to work on it. Y/N lost track of time as she explored the new configurations, installed the programs she used. She only noticed she’s been there for over two hours when she felt someone carefully placing a gentle hand on her shoulder and she looked up to check the time, being met with Raul standing right beside her.

“Oh, hi” she said feeling her face warming up as he smiled softly at her.

“Don’t spend too much time with this, you’ll have more opportunities later, sweetheart, don’t force yourself too much” he squeezed her shoulder a bit and she sighed nodding “how are you feeling?”

She looked up at him, cracking her back on the process “Better, I think the coffee helps a bit and the painkiller did a great job”

“Good, I’m guessing you still won’t be able to make it to Shawn’s crowded and noisy lunch” Raul had a little amused look in his eyes and Y/N giggled at that, shaking her head.

“Definitely not, might as well skip lunch and nap on my lunch break”

Raul nodded “It’s tempting but you need food, now how about I take you to that salad shop you like, we buy ourselves a quick to go one, eat it at your office and nao for like, forty minutes maybe? How does that sound?”

Y/N contained the urge to lunch forward and wrap him in her arms “Pretty fucking great, but what about Shawn?”

“I’ll meet him later for dinner with Peter, so he wouldn’t mind”

“Oh”

“So, are you in, doll?”

Y/N shook her head “you had me in the forty minute nap, say no more”

Raul laughed “Of course I had, know you better than anyone”

“That is unfortunately true” she mumbled grabbing the computer and getting up.

Raul stared at her quizzically “Why is that unfortunate?”

“Cause that will only feed your ever growing ego”

“You wound me, sweetheart” he said with frightened hurt, a hand clutched over his heart.

Y/N rolled her eyes at him as they both said their goodbyes to Peter, who only threw a knowing look in her direction and a little wink when Raul wasn’t looking. She only rolled her eyes, shoving her middle finger in the air behind Raul’s back to Peter, who only laughed in response. But Raul might have felt her arm hovering his back, cause he looked down at her, throwing his charming smile down at her and throwing his arm around her shoulders as the climbed in the elevator again.

Oh great, now Y/N had one more thing to keep her awake all night, wondering if she was crazy and Raul could be somehow interested in her and if she should do something about it. But do what? Tell him she liked him? Kissing him? Confronting someone who already has a hard time talking feelings about how he felt about her?! Only terrible scenarios played in her head with every little thing she thought about. But before she could go on spiraling, Raul gently squeezed her shoulder making Y/N look up at him.

“Still with me, sweetheart?” he asked smirking at her and she only huffed rolling her eyes, making Raul full on laugh.

-*-

Later that morning, they ended up following Raul’s idea. Around noon he knocked on her office again, with his leather jacket and ready to go, Y/N then just grabbed her coat and purse, ready to follow him to the elevator again. They kept a light banter, talking about conspiracy theories and random gossip, and she felt really better but was too tired to socialize with a lot of people. So they walked down the street a couple of blocks to a little shop where they bought salad bowls and iced tea “to balance things out” according to Raul about how much coffee she’s had the past week.

They ordered to go and walked back to the HQ that looked like a very fancy business building, but instead of going back to her office, they headed to Raul’s instead. There they sat down on his couch since it was bigger as they casually had lunch, and right after, he convinced Y/N to get comfortable on the couch as he relaxed right next to her. Y/N curled into a little ball on the further corner of the couch, but he was quick to tut his tongue at her.

“Here, sweetheart, you can lay your head on my lap and stretch your legs on the couch, yeah? And you can grab that little fluffy blanket if you want” He was quick to offer and Y/N sighed.

“Are you sure?” she asked eyeing him suspiciously “I don’t want to bother you” he chuckled softly and nodded

“Of course, we still have 50 minutes of lunch break, nap a bit, baby, come here” Raul said in such a gentle tone, almost cooing at her and how could she possibly say no to that?

She removed her boots before laying her head on his lap and pulling her legs to stretch across the rest of the couch, while she got comfy, she felt the gentle weight of the thick fluffy blanket being laid on top of her. Y/N sighed in relief as she slowly closed her eyes, allowing herself to fully relax, and feeling the soft caress of Raul’s fingers gently combing through her hair was only making it easier to fall asleep. And so she did.

She dreamed of something random, she was stuck in a boat and it didn’t really make much sense, but it was better than the sleepless nights or the scary things her mind came up with. So waking up was not the best sensation, but Raul managed to make the experience less unpleasant. He was very softly coaxing her to wake up, by gently shaking her shoulder and caressing her cheek, slowly calling her name. Y/N could get used to it.

Raul truly didn’t want to do it, he, himself, didn’t want to get up. He ended up falling asleep a few minutes in, but the timer on his phone vibrating on his hand woke him when he promised he’d wake her up. He almost didn’t have the heart to do it. Y/N looked so peaceful, the frown that’s been on her brows for the whole week was finally gone, but he knew if he didn’t wake her, she’d spend her day blaming herself and wouldn’t be able to sleep properly at night. So he cleared his throat and started calling her gently not to startle her.

Y/N started coming slowly back to her senses, slowly sitting up from Raul’s lap, rubbing at her eyes and checking her phone quickly for important notifications. A low chuckle brought her attention away from her phone and to her best friend beside her, to which she just truly looked at, being able to notice the throw pillow creases on his cheek, the soft curls of his hair a bit messier than usual.

“Hi” he mumbled softly.

Y/N smiled at him before mumbling a “hi” in response.

“Sleep well?” Raul asked as he stretched his arms above his head and she nodded “yeah? I ended up joining you in your nap”

“Don’t blame you, this is a really nice couch”

“Right? Unfortunately this was the first time I took full advantage of it” he chuckled as he got up from the couch, moving to turn on his computer.

Y/N just chuckled before nearly folding his blanket back in its place “well thank you for everything, you truly are a great friend, but I should probably leave and stop bothering you”

“You never bother me, and I know, I’m the best friend anyone could ever wish for” he said sitting on his chair as she leaned down to put her shoes back on.

She just rolled her eyes at him, grabbing her stuff before getting up “there you go, ruining a perfectly sweet moment”

Raul laughed “that’s my biggest ability, doll, thought you knew that already”

“Should’ve guessed it” Y/N said as she opened his door “see you later, thanks again”

Raul just winked at her “anytime” before she closed his door and moved to her office shaking her head, but unable to hold back the smile from blossoming on her lips.

Maybe Peter was wrong and just messing things up, how could he not notice the way Raul affected her? But saw the way he was different with her? It made no sense. And there was no time to go into the rabbit hole, she had better things to do, like spend countless hours uselessly trying to crack a code.

-*-

In the middle of Y/N’s afternoon shift, she was able to spot Geonoff himself on one of the surveillance cameras she’s been watching incessantly for the past weeks. She basically tripped on her on shoes as she scrambled up to her computer to register the appearance, quickly sending it to her boss. They finally were sure where he was and maybe that was enough to set up a plan or something to get him.

Geonoff Reyes was one of the most wanted man right now by intelligences from multiple countries. The man himself had a long list of crimes, that if there was an opportunity would be enough to sentence him for thousands of years. Most of Geonoff’s crimes were related to the mafia, he was one of the biggest and most dangerous bosses there was. He started fairly young, around 15 years old, but that was the extent of information everyone had on his childhood. Some liked to guess it was what kind of household he was raised to blame the way he had become what he became.

He’s been chased for years now, and that’s why Y/N was quick to let her boss, Mrs. Benson, know she found him, compiling all the information she was able to gather this past week in files. So she did what she could and it took her around an hour to have everything printed and organized in a folder, letting Janet she was coming and basically running to the elevator to get to her office.

The heavy metal doors opened on the waiting room outside of her office, being met with Luca, Janet’s personal assistant, who winked at her and pointed at the door. Y/N smiled at him and knocked on the dark wooden doors, opening it silently as she heard people talking inside. Her office was decorated very minimalistic and was usually a very pristine place, but today, there were papers everywhere as Janet, Helen (Janet’s right hand), Dimitri (head of security department) and Raul Mendes stood there apparently discussing the same case.

“Thank God you’re here, darling, please come out this madness to an end” Janet said with a gentle smile as she pointed towards the mess in her table.

Helen chuckled as Dimitri was quick to push their papers to a corner on the table.

“Thank you” Y/N mumbled as she placed her folder down.

Raul silently move to stand right next to her, a careful hand laying on the small of her back in a comforting touch as she looked up at Janet to check if she could start. With a nod from the boss, she started pulling all the evidence she could. All the pictures, the surveillance images, the documents Seth was able to bring back and information he was able to remember as well.

With everything laid out on the table and presented to all of them, Janet ended up telling what she’d been discussing with Helen for the past two days. They both figured the best thing to do at the moment, since they didn’t have enough evidence to make an arrest for this crime and maybe this was a great opportunity to catch another people involved, not only Geonoff. The plan was basically getting new identities and keep a close eye on all of his activities, track down his moves and if possible get even more evidence.

Raul was called because he was the best for this kind of jobs and would be a great leader to the team, Y/N was offered to join the team as well, being his partner and leading the strategic part of the plan. They were also told to pick other agents that they knew would be great for this specific operation, Janet only asking to keep it at a maximum of 5 people including them, the less people knowing, the better.

Of course both agreed and were also instructed to inform Peter so he could separate the gadgets necessary, and obviously intensify their physical training. Despite this being mostly and observant kind of mission, Geonoff was unpredictable and highly dangerous, so being well prepared and extra careful wouldn’t be a bad idea. They were both dismissed for the day and the early shift next morning, so they could rest and plan it as best as they could.

So Y/N was quick to bid her goodbyes as she placed everything neatly back on the folder and moved out of the room. As soon as she pressed the button to call the elevator, she heard the office door opening and closing again, rushed steps moving closer to her. She didn’t even need to look to know Raul was the one approaching her since his scent clouded every room he ever stepped into, she only shook her head and looked up at her right as he stood right beside her. He smirked at her with a little wink.

“My house or yours, doll?” he asked as they climbed into the elevator.

“Tonight?” she eyed him suspiciously as she pressed the button to her floor to grab her stuff and he leaned in to press the one to Peter’s. Y/N glanced at him and noticed he had all of his personal belongings with him.

“Of course, I’ll even order from that Thai place you like”

Y/N giggled shaking her head “of course you will, am I supposed to spend the night?”

“Oh yeah, definitely, I’ll invite Peter too” he said with a smile.

Y/N folded her arms across her chest “I thought we were supposed to rest?”

“Oh but we will, I’ll make sure you’ll fall sleep at reasonable hours, eat properly and all that stuff, of course we’re gonna take a look at work, but just a little” he said with a knowing look.

“Fine, daddy” she added with annoyance, rolling her eyes, Raul just laughed and shook his head.

“You can’t just say stuff like that, sweetheart”

“What? Does it do something for you?” She asked looking up at him and he just shrugged as the doors opened at her floor.

“There’s only one way to find out, doll” he added with a smirk, a teasing tone evident on his voice as he leaned the weight of his body on the elevator doors to hold it for her, shoulders crossed over his broad chest, biceps flexing against the material of his shirt.

Y/N rolled her eyes stepping out of the elevator, ignoring the heat creeping up her face and the stupid flutter on her lower stomach, turning to face him as she said “see you later, Mendes”

“See you, and oh, don’t forget your gym attire, we’re going running at 5:30 sharp tomorrow, bye bye now” he blew her a kiss as he stepped inside and the doors closed before she could add anything.

He was definitely trying to kill her in all the ways possible, she just didn’t know which way would be the fatal blow.

-*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

@mariamuses

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zoellajulien · 3 years

Text

come upon morning

(Peter Parker x Reader)

angst - words: 2.1k

OPEN ENDING BELOW

"Alright! Enough from you!" Your friend laughed loudly as he smacked your other friend in the back of the head, turning to face you. "It's your turn. Give us all the details!"

You shifted awkwardly, laughing and rubbing your arms for comfort. The conversation happening between your group was on the subject of 'the ones who got away', which you all had experience in. "Fine, fine. Just be quiet and sit down!"

A hush fell over the room as you opened a book and pulled some photos out of the page. Curiosity spread as the photos were passed around for everyone to look at.

"Why do you keep these on that page?" One friend asked, looking over your shoulder at the highlighted text.

"I keep them close to a quote on it. It says 'you'll always be mine, in the back of my mind. I'll look for you in my next life.' I found this quote when I was in a dark place, and it reminded me of him. Because that's how I'll always feel." You explained to them, passing another picture around.

In the photo, the boy had a straw taped badly to his head with a ridiculous smile spread across his face. His nose was wrinkled too, adding to the joyous atmosphere the picture captured. His brown curls were splattered across his head and face in a mess, along with a hastily put-in butterfly clip. You felt warmth blooming inside you while looking at it. Your friends laughed at the picture, pointing out various (but positive) things about him to one another.

"What are you doing? You look ridiculous!"

"I'm a unicorn! You should be a unicorn too!"

"Wait until Tony sees this. No- I am not sticking a straw to my forehead like a crackhead!"

"Psh, you don't know what you're missing, then!"

"That boy was my whole world. We were best friends before we lovers, but we always did everything together. One time, we both failed an exam on accident, and celebrated! We drove around for hours just because." You reminisced.

"Dude, one kid sitting next to me was all 'I got this in the bag! Studied all night long!'" Peter chuckled, pushing his curls from his face with the hand that held yours. He pushed his lips against your knuckles softly.

"Are you serious? Dude, if you can't even pass the exam, then everyone else definitely failed. Their ego was 100% bruised afterward, I'm sure of it." You snickered, blushing as your eyes cast over his form. His skin glowed from the kiss of sunset colors. "Hey! Careful! You almost hit that bird! Ugh, your driving is the worst!"

Peter's laugh brought a smile to your lips as you teased him, knowing full-well you drove much worse than he did. Poking his side with your finger to tease him more, he squirmed away and began to make faces.

"Oi! I'm trying to keep us alive! Stop that!" He snickered.*

"I hope you know that we are absolutely not listening to this song! My turn to control the cord!" You cheered, snatching his phone away.

"What? No! I'm the driver, I control the music!"

"In your dreams, Parker! And don't take your eyes off the freaking road, you health-hazard of a human being!"

"Oh, please! I drive better than you do! And either way, you know you love me!"

"That, yes, that is very true. I can not deny that." You giggled with a happy sigh.

"What else did you guys do?"

"So much! We went on great adventures and vacations together but also enjoyed simple moments. One day, I was frustrated with everything so I started crying on the kitchen floor when the empty pot slipped from my hand." You laughed at yourself, shaking your head. "He came in with a sympathetic heart and dumped a bunch of pots on the floor. At first, I got even angrier. Because, hello, that was a huge mess! But then he started constructing them together on a mat and grabbed two dowels for the both of us."

Peter cursed when he saw your form, panicking slightly as he tried to come up with a solution to fix the sad mood you owned. The poor brunette had come in, more than ready to defend you from an attacker, after being alerted to the crashing sound of a pan hitting the tiled flooring. Trying to think quickly on his feet, he leaned past you to pick up said fallen pot along with a large group of others.

"What are you doing? I swear to god I will smash your face into the cabinet if you think I'm going to clean this up."

Peter wordlessly grabbed your hand and placed the dowel in your hand, kissing each finger as he twisted them into a fist. He reached up and brushed a piece of hair away from your face, smiling sweetly at your confused face.

"What do I need this for?" You questioned, still slightly irritated.

"What? What was he doing, exactly?"

"We actually started playing them together, on the floor. He cheered me up in less than an hour. I went from crying in frustration to crying from laughter." A blush crept its way up your body as a love-sick smile made its appearance.

Crawling on the floor, Peter gently pulled you by your empty hand next to him. A whine of protest escaped your lungs, but you eventually gave in and looked at the pots in front of you. He reached around you, his arms controlling yours. He began beating the wooden sticks against the metal and copper pots.

"I love you! I love you! My darling!" He sang out dramatically, badly playing out an improvised tune, hiding his smile when he noticed you were forcing one to hide. "My darling! She's oh-so-beautiful!"

Laughter bubbled within your chest and escaped into the air around the two of you. A smirk made its made to your boyfriend's lips at the achievement of making you happy. He pressed a kiss to your cheek before continuing his actions.

Eventually, he moved and sat beside you, using his wooden stick to bang on the pans. He laughed after you made a pun referring to the pots, shaking his head in amusement.

"Come one, sing a duet with me."

"Nooo."

Peter began singing loudly but slow enough for you to try and match his lyrics. You were pretty sure the two of you were bothering the neighbors at this point.

A bubble of snickers filled the room after someone mentioned just how in love you seemed to be even after he left.

"You see, this big teddy bear of a human being loved to travel, so one day he showed up outside my job and picked me up. We ended up driving for a long time until we had a picnic underneath the stars. I taught him a bunch of the constellations."

"Peter! C'mon, tell me where we're going! You're boring me!" You joke, shoulders shaking in laughter when you do.

"No! You can't know yet! It's called a surprise, babe!" He protests, taking one hand off the wheel and easing his foot off the accelerator. Using the empty hand he has, he pokes your side once safely stopped at a red light.

"Ugh. You're a pain. I hope you know that." You paused for a few minutes before saying: "Are we there yet?"

"We are literally still driving! Relax!"

The drive continued for another hour or so before you pulled up onto a hill that sat beside a glistening lake. By that time, it was well past midnight. You would have fallen asleep if Peter's energetic and proding, literally, personality. He sang loudly to you and was constantly poking you in the ribs, although gently.

"We've arrived! I hope you're hungry!"

After the picnic, you rested by his side, enjoying the comforting kisses he left across your face. "I love you, but I'd appreciate it if you would pay attention to my lesson!" You whined*

"Alright, Teach. What do you have for me to learn? Not math, I hope." He replied in turn with a broad smirk.

With a sharp eye-roll, you sat up, taking his finger, and pointing it at the sky. "Big dipper." You drug it over to a separate spot. "Little dipper."

"I like this lesson. Teach me more."

"He sounded amazing. What happened to you two?"

"The part of him yearning for adventure became too difficult to ignore, and he knew he needed to go. Of course, he offered for me to come with him, but my parents refused. They told me how my focus was to be on where I was going in the future, so their force kept us apart." You set down the Polaroid picture to pick up another one, this one of a car. The brunette sat on top of it, clearly singing and dancing. "The night he left was a hard one for us all. His aunt and mentor came over so we could all wish him goodbye. I was angry at my parents, but they were right. My future was very uncertain with him, especially since he didn't know where he would be going."

A stray tear made it's down your cheek, dropping onto the hoodie of his you wore. Your friend wrapped an arm over your shoulder.

"Eventually, after he packed his car for the journey and his weeping aunt gave him one last hug, I was called over. I opened the door to be closer to him and sat, looking at him. His cheeks were damp with tears, as were mine, but we smiled. He put his hand into mine and kissed me, so softly, as if I were glass."

"You look beautiful today, you know. Is that dress new?" Peter's fingers danced up your arm to cup your cheek.

"I bought it just for you, for today. I wanted you to see me looking my best, so you can remember me this way when you go."

"I still don't know if I want to go." He admitted, ducking his head before looking back into your eyes.

"You have to. You need to go because your heart is calling." You whispered, reluctant to admit the truth as much as he was. "And you don't have to be scared, because I will always be with you along this journey." You placed your hand on his heart.

"He pleaded for me to go that night, to go with him. I told him I couldn't, that it wasn't an option."

You set down the picture while standing, grabbing one from underneath a flipped-over picture frame. One of your friends picked up the frame and felt anguish at seeing the picture inside the glass.

The same boy the conversation was about sat somewhere, clearly in a place with bright lights. He wore a white, short-sleeve top that ended with the picture. His eyes were blood-shot, curls messy as can be, but a smile sat across his lips, despite being clearly in pain.

"This noise is going to be the death of me, I swear."

"Kid, you've got a lot more fighting to kill you right now than the lights. At least try to act concerned for yourself." Tony's voice strained, dry from tears. "They are probably the smallest problem you have as of now."

"Don't say stuff like that. Please." Your voice croaked, all the tears you had now gone from crying them away. "It can't be like that. No."

"That picture was taken a few months before he left. This one is a copy of the photo he took with him." You explained, showing it around. "I loved him so much, you know, and he loved me too. I could tell since he had some much trouble leaving us. But I knew he had to go."

In the last photo sat you both, side-by-side, asleep. One of his arms draped over your side while he spooned you from behind with his face buried into the skin of your neck. You had hair flopped over one eye and one hand tucked into his dangling by your front. The two of you had corresponding colors on your nails, a bright red. It had been his idea after a tired sleep-over reached well past two in the morning. It was a fond memory of yours.

Your friend pulled you tight to his chest, noticing the balance you were struggling to keep between sobbing or staying straight-faced. Eventually, the tears came out, but a smile stayed on your lips as you remembered Peter.

You remembered his laughter that was always accompanied by his contagious smile or smirk. Also on the list, you remembered his ability to sweet-talk you into sneaking out to see him on nights he wasn't 100% busy. However, you also remembered how he left you, leaving a longing feeling that turned into unheard wishes.

You just wish his departure had actually happened like that.

taglist: @rorybutnotgilmore @petersasteria @elios-timotea

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ginkgomoon · 3 years

Note

Hello there! I hope everything is going well with you. (・∀・)

I have some questions. In CH 30 & 32 the Time Observer mentioned about the "price being too heavy/dear" & he mentioned that he never expected for Victor to choose that method to prevent the crisis. I was wondering what price is he talking about & what's "the method" he mentioned? & Victor collapsing in CH 32 was not from hitting the bullet I believe. What exactly happened there?

Also...I don't know the details but I think I saw it somewhere that Victor goes through different timelines & dimensions for 10000 years in the later part of the story...? I remember reading it in a R&S that every time he crosses a dimension he'd experience soul crushing pain... The mere thought of doing it for so long honestly made me feel traumatized. I was hoping you could give me some insights as to what exactly he was doing.

I hope I'm not bothering you with tons of questions & they made sense. Thanks a lot in advance! Have a good day! <3

Hello!!

Thank you, you too! :)

I hope I helped answered your questions here. It's quite long, so enjoy the read!

I did Victor’s Time Observer analysis and I’ll be heavily referencing that post to help answer this particular ask. Big thank you to @cheri-cheri and @ey8508 for help clarifying some of my thoughts concerning Victor this chapter! Spoilers down below! ⏱

“With great power comes great responsibility.” -The Peter Parker Principle

We all know Victor bears great power, but also with that comes great responsibility. He is the sole individual who has the will and power to alter time and space, however this develops drastic consequences to his health and to history- all for his love for MC.

Victor doesn’t care about this price- he is more concerned with whether he can prevent the death of the girl in every unpredictable future.

“The person who can save the world… is not me, but her. As for myself, I know my ending line and how much pain I can bear better than anyone. I would rather take such a risk.” -Chapter 35-36 Rumours and Secrets

Chapter 30-6

Victor is seen to be flanked by bodyguards on Adagio Street. Moments later, in a pure white space, we see the Time Observer addressing Victor.

I stood in the centre of the street, looking hesitantly around, but I was unable to spot that familiar figure.

In the dead of the night, from the distant horizon, there seemed to come the sound of a mechanical little violin.

In a boundless, pure white space, the music would be at time peaceful and solemn, and at others somber and mournful. After the final note, that pair of tightly-closed eyes opened.

The Time Observer looked at Victor, neither showing surprise.

That pale white hand brushed lightly over the violin strings, and his gravelly voice spoke up with the pluck of the string.

TO: “The natural rules of operations no longer supply. This world… in memory is a turbulent past and in imagination, there is no serene future. She should have stayed in that world. Her return was a mistake.”

Victor: “If you’re still here that means we still have a chance.”

TO: “A chance that comes at such a heavy cost. Is it really worth it? You will soon understand, in some things, you are doomed to helplessness. Try with all your might, and yet, it remains out of reach.”

Victor: “I won’t let her die again. No matter when."

This will foreshadow future events such as in Chapter 32, where Victor shows a demonstration of this.

Chapter 32-6

Amidst the scattering glass shards, I saw a number of bullets flying towards me.

Only one thought ran through my mind.

Am I going to die?

Chapter 32-8

In the darkness, a crack suddenly splits open, and a blinding light appears, obscuring my sight. My heartbeat practically came to a standstill, the pain I expected never came. The blinding light disappeared, instantaneously replaced by darkness.

Time seemed to pause for a second.

The pitch black bullets, the fractured glass, the car in mid-air…

And then it fell all heavily to the ground.

And in this moment, Victor challenged “fate”, or rather, the “natural rules of operations”, stated by the Time Observer.

I reached out and grabbed the black clothing fluttering before me. Even my voice was trembling.

MC: “Victor…”

I looked in a daze at the man before me, at those fierce eyes beneath his wind-blown hair.

He was looking back at me, as if trying to etch me into his eyes with his deep gaze. But there was another emotion hidden within as well.

After confirming he was unharmed, I let out a sigh, then looked anxiously into his eyes.

MC: “What are you doing here?”

Victor: “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

But this time, his voice was flat.

MC: “I’m sorry… but I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m not unaware of the danger… I must simply stay and stop them.”

I hastily wanted to get Victor out of danger, but his feet were planted firmly. I looked up, to get a look at his expression.

His voice was steady, stopping me in my tracks.

Victor: “I see.”

MC: “You really believe I can stop them?”

Victor: “I said before, even if you don't trust yourself, always trust me. I won’t do anything I'm not sure I can handle. Go what you think needs to be done.”

He patted the back of my head lightly, with a hint of tremor in his voice. He didn’t ask me or stop me, as if he already knew the choice I’d made.

So, while the STF agents and runaway Evolvers were battling, MC was literally going to die at that moment. But Victor enters- using his Evol to stop time, ultimately stopping the bullets and MC’s death.

I whirled around, hoping to catch sight of him.

MC: “Victor!”

I wanted to tell him I’d done it, that I really had prevented this crisis.

A faint worry floated up in my chest. What about Victor?

Medic: “Someone, come quick! There’s another person here!”

I turned and hurried to the end of the bridge.

I then quickly found him.

Ringed by a crowd of people, there he was, the person I would recognise anywhere.

It was…

I halted my steps for a moment, then ran to him without hesitation.

I broke into a panic.

Chapter 32-10

Victor… What happened to him??

I pushed the crowd aside and frantically ran to him.

His face was pallid, eyes squeezed shut, his hair plastered messily to his forehead with sweat. I grasped his hand, unable to believe how icy cold it felt to the touch.

MC: "How could you… Why did you…”

Just then, those eyes shut with pain cracked open. He pursed his lips and then coughed violently, blood started trickling out. Even like that, he still chuckled weakly.

Victor: “I used to think… that your problem was that you thought you could control fate all by yourself. Stubborn, self-reliant, in over your head. Whenever anyone tried to tell you anything, no matter what they said, it was always in one ear and out the other.”

Although it sounded a little weak, his voice was unusually calm, and didn’t really even pause or halt. Almost if, if he stopped, he wouldn't be able to start again.

Victor: “But I really did learn a little something from you. You are the thing unto yourself, so only know the best what your values and decisions should be. No one can guide you. And just like I can’t hold you back, you also can’t change this decision that I’ve made. Don’t ask why, this time, just let me say my piece.”

His voice grew weaker, but he managed to lift his right hand and place it over mine.

I clasped his hand, and a feeling of suspense and dread came over me like I'd never felt before.

MC: “I know… I know… You don’t have to say more.”

He was afraid of something, but not because his life was slipping away. It was more like… something would happen.

Victor closed his eyes, completely exhausted. I squeezed his hand tighter, as if trying to hang on to those remnants of warmth.

You have to make it through this.

A man standing by the riverside swiped his hand through the fog, swiped his hand through the fog, stirring it up into an erratic vortex.

Zero: “Did he actually…”

TO: Like I said before, he is the most suitable candidate.”

Zero: “But he refused to help us open the Door of Return.”

TO: “Perhaps it’s only temporary, and he’ll change his mind. I didn’t imagine he’d choose this method for preventing this crisis. Too bad… the price was so dear.”

After Victor saves MC from death, she finds him on the ground- pale and in terrible pain. Throughout Victor’s time with MC, we slowly see the influence he has on her- and the influence she has on him. He tells her that while she shoulders everything on her own and never listens to anyone, she did teach him things in the process. With her love and kindness, she strives to defy “nature's course” and saves worlds. Literally.

You were correct, Victor didn’t suffer injuries from the bullets because he stopped them just in time but Victor is overusing his Evol, and it’s gradually taking a toll on his body. Even back before MC crossed over to the Winter World, Victor was trying to find other alternative ways for MC to live and not sacrifice herself. Unfortunately, there were none. He did also suffer immense pain whenever he time traveled, especially when it led to his time travel pocket watch cracking and breaking in the end.

Victor would normally be practical and very principled in how he executes his plans, but this time around, it was him. This- he- was the plan. That's it. This is similar to how Victor opened a time rift to send MC away in Chapter 18- to somewhere and sometime in space. He waited for her to come back with the help of the Time Observers to confirm her safety. Only someone with his powerful Evol could do that, otherwise they’d risk losing consciousness in the “Time Rift”.

Additionally, he held onto that hope that MC could and would be saved in the end, like how he tried to find her for 17 years after the orphanage incident, not knowing whether she was dead or alive. Victor wants to wield that control, denying “helplessness” and “winning all the bets” he had with MC prior to her “death” in Chapter 18. Victor stated that if she couldn’t trust herself, then she should trust him and his decisions to protect her. Even if it’s detrimental to his health. Life-threatening, even. Because in the end, Victor knows he will always win. He just does.

And since he knows that he won’t be able to stop MC from doing what she wants, we now see him fully embracing then acting upon it. He accepts that she’s her own person and he has grown to have so much faith in her, seeing how she successfully survived Winter World then coming back home safe. It’s almost like- “okay. It’s you and me against the world”.

On the sidelines, Time observer and ZERO both observe, surprised that Victor will pay such a high price to avoid MC’s death from occurring- with the risk of his own. Could they have lost their most powerful time Evolver from this incident?

Though, we shouldn’t be surprised that the Time Observers think that Victor would be so foolish to use his Evol up to the point where it would actually kill him just to save MC. It's literally in their name- “Observers''- they haven’t and aren’t even allowed to actively participate in the events that happened in Loveland, let alone the different histories and worlds that existed, other than claiming to “correct it” by influencing other people who can. They don’t appear to have this kind of empathy in understanding Victor and why he wants to save MC’s life, or how important she is to him.

“You misunderstand. We never alter, we are correctors of history. We want you to join us, your power’s scope of influence has already surpassed the dimension of this current world. Before you are rejected by it…”

Victor: “I will not leave this world.”

“Even if you’ve seen the future of what is all to pass?”

Victor: “No matter what happens, the person I’m seeking for is right here.” -Black Curtain: Chapter 6

Also taken from my Time Observer Analysis-

Since Victor’s Evol is strong and has the capability to do more than “observe” like the Time Observers, he is the one who is deemed the most suitable and more responsible for “grasping the time in the past and the future”. Ever since STF found out about Victor’s Evol, they wanted him to cooperate with them too. Every time he stops time, certain surrounding energy and space changes.

The organisation also entertains the idea of fate, and how things should be refused to be changed. Since they have “seen the future of how the world ends”, they want Victor to cooperate with them in making it stop. Nobody can rewrite the ending among them, except him. Victor refuses to join because he doesn’t adhere to this idea.

“QUEEN’s return has brought unexpected consequences; the entire collapse of the world is ahead of schedule. The world’s line has come to an end, no matter through time or space, we can no longer interfere in this world.” Was there a difference in letting each world go to the end alone to close all the world lines in the future directly? Although we found a breakthrough, this situation really caused us a lot of headaches: she who should not have survived and she should not have been sent to other worlds. As a result, it would seriously interfere and disrupt the timeline. No one had done it before, and no one except Victor could do it.

In disbelief, we weighed it and threw the olive branch- as long as he is willing to cooperate, we will help him find her. As decisive as he was to refuse a few times before, this time he had promised me without thinking. And for a moment, I didn’t know if his decisiveness was good or bad. -Chapter 33-34 Rumours and Secrets

Victor "travelling ten-thousand years in the future" was mentioned in his Chapter 35-36 Rumours and Secrets. The Space and Time Administration (who the Time Observers were under) could "repair his abilities", after he stopped the bullets from hitting MC. He would have to stay there for the Space and Time Administration's time duration of ten-thousand years. Victor accepts. (BIG THANKS TO @cheri-cheri FOR CORRECTING ME LAST MINUTE WITH THIS ONE, YOU AMAZING HUMAN!!)

#mlqc #mlqc victor #love and producer #mr love queens choice #恋与制作人 #mlqc translation #mlqc analysis #mlqc en #mlqc time observers #victor #mlqc spoilers

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twdmusicboxmystery · 3 years

Text

TWD 11x06: On the Inside - Details

Okay, let's talk details.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 11x06. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

Connie and Virgil:

The first thing it shows is a spider. I seem to remember seeing one of these around Alpha, and we've seen them other times, too. I wasn't sure what they meant, but remember how I talked yesterday about how Virgil and Connie were led into a trap here, and that points to the same thing being true of the Daryl and Beth in Alone? I think the spider represents someone being caught in a web or trap. And that actually creates really interesting implications for episodes in 4B, such as Inmates.

Speaking of Inmates, we see Connie and Virgil running through tall grass, very similar to how Beth and Daryl did in Inmates. Yet another example of why they (Connie and Virgil) will probably end up being romantic.

Inside this house there are quite a few stuffed animals. Not the toys, but the taxidermy type. See a fish on the wall, a bear, and plenty of deer. All of those are important Beth symbols.

When Connie goes to search the house, she sees a whole bunch of paintings with the eyes scratched out. If that's not a “see no evil” reference, I don't know what is. A.K/ had a convenient explanation for it, but if this is the Beth template, then in the template, it represents something else entirely than in the reality of the episode.

So, what does it represent? Well, obviously we don't know for sure. But I had the thought that they certainly did focus a lot on Connie's deafness here. We’ve never had much indication that Beth will have hearing problems. That’s something unique Connie's character. But maybe the equivalent of that in Beth’s arc is that she’ll have vision problems. So, paintings with no eyes here are meant to represent that Beth will be similar to Connie, except in her case will be vision problems rather than hearing problems. Just a theory, though.

So, they did this thing where when it was shown from Connie's point of view, we couldn't hear any sound. I thought that was really great. It definitely put us into Connie's experience and makes it creepier. Angela Kang talked about how they did that purposefully to show when it was from Connie's point of view. So, one to recognize is that this is proof that what we’ve said about different episodes being from different characters’ points of view is a thing. We don’t have obvious indications of it like this all the time because no other characters are deaf or blind. But this means the writers consider this and do tell various stories or parts of the stories from specific character perspectives. I’m just saying.

In the bathroom, Connie seems sees mushrooms growing beside the bathtub. That's more of the mushroom/hallucination theme.

When she sees the eye on the other side of the wall, she runs down to Virgil and tries to tell him what's going on. She gets so flustered that she can't write it and ends up carving “not alone" into a painting. Obviously, this is another way we can relate this to Alone and suspect it is a Beth and Daryl template.

But also pay attention to this painting. It is a real painting that @galadrieljones was able to find. It’s called “Wolf and Fox Hunt” by Peter Paul Reubens. I’m going to talk about this in a theory later in the week. It’s SUPER important. For now, notice that there are foxes, wolves, and dogs in it. Someone sent me an Ask about something Norman posted and I believe it's related to this. Norman's dropping hints about the duality theme. So, like I said, it's too much for this post but I will be talking about it very soon. Also notice that the painting is framed with deer antlers, which means the deer symbol is thrown into the mix as well.

Also note that the lighting inside this house in general is a lot like Grady, with it being darker inside and having brighter, white light streaming in through the the windows.

We see a door slide across the hallway and separates Connie and Virgil. This is what I mean when I say there are representations of Beth and Daryl being split up and needing to find each other again.

I wasn't entirely sure what was going on with Connie putting her hands on the walls at first. But if you listen to the sound, she can basically hear or feel the vibration of the guy running toward her. It's a little like putting your ear on the ground to hear horse hooves. She can hear his footfalls getting closer and closer. Super creepy.

We do have this one interesting sequence where Kelly is trying to pull her horse forward but the horse doesn't like the mud and is pulling back. Kelly ends up falling in the mud just before Carol's group finds her. It was kind of random sequence and didn't seem to go anywhere in the episode. But if Kelly is a foreshadow of Maggie searching for Beth, it's probably a foreshadow of something else we don't understand yet.

@wdway pointed out that in 10x19, we saw Father Gabriel fall into the mud when he was with Aaron. So, chances are, these are both foreshadows of the same thing, but we don’t know what yet.

We see Connie finding bones in the basement. The walls shake and she climbs into the vent, moving into the passages between walls. This is where she sees Virgil in the outer room, running from the same people she is. This part really creeped me out because my first thought was that he wouldn't know that this was her rather than one of the creatures. I totally didn't see it coming that one of the creatures would walk up behind him. Seriously creepy.

This is another representation of no exit, as I said yesterday, and of Beth trying to warn Daryl of something but not being able to.

I also noticed at this part, the guy Virgil was fighting with said, "hungry." That's in keeping with the idea that these people were cannibals, but it also occurred to me that in the broader, CRM situation, this might indicate something to do with famine and resources.

But here's the other thing. Maybe this goes to the heart of it. I said in the Matrix theory that we don't really know what the CRM is doing, resource-wise, and that’s true. Isobel told Al it had something to do with purifying water, but I’m sure it’s more complicated than that.

The thing is, we've seen several indications of cannibalism now, which all seem to point forward, toward some bigger arc we haven’t seen yet. I mean, it's sort of started in 4x01 with Clara trying to feed Rick to her walker husband. Of course there was Terminus, which was a thing (sort of) in the comic books, but everything about Terminus foreshadowed things we haven't seen yet. This season we have that story Maggie told, and now this Virgil/Connie arc. I just can't help but think maybe one of the things the CRM is doing is using people as a resource in a literal way by eating them. Conjecture on my part, but it does make sense given the symbolism we've seen.

After Connie manages to let Virgil know it's her and not one of the monsters, he pulls her out of the wall, and they hug. This is one of the reasons people are feeling like this might be a romance. It is kind of reminiscent of the Bethyl hug and had a certain intimacy to it.

Later that night, we see Kelly arrive at the same place that Connie and Virgil were at the very beginning. In this case, she goes the wrong way. The opposite direction to the one Connie and Virgil took. The interesting thing is, we see the mailbox has fallen over.

I will post about all the mailboxes later in the week. I do think it attests to the Matrix theory and points to the CRM. I'll explain how I think it was used in this episode when I get to that post. But even showing Kelly go the wrong way is kind of interesting. In the episode, it just means that at some point her group must have doubled back to the house. We’re never told why. Maybe they went that way and didn't find anything, and so decided to come back. Or maybe they heard screaming coming from the house and that brought them back. Either way, I'm sure it's foreshadowing something in the future.

I’m also thinking that the storm we see here is probably important. It doesn’t play a very big part in this episode, but I don’t think it can be unimportant that there’s a storm going on (think Them) while Kelly is searching so close to Connie.

We also see Virgil and Connie talking inside. He says he's never seen people this far gone. "To herd us like prey." That's a “too far gone” reference, which we've seen since S4 and Rick's speech at the prison. And I talked about the fact that this they were herded into this trap yesterday. This is where we get a lot of Beth and Daryl dialogue.

Virgil talks about how he wants to get her HOME, how he wants to get her back to her family. This is also where he talks about losing himself for a long time and Michonne giving him a second chance. Basically, he's willing to die, willing to sacrifice himself to get her back to her sister. But Connie says no, we do this together. *coughs* Bethyl *coughs*

Right after that, they hear the monsters in the house start grunting and Virgil says, “time’s up” and they jump up and run. I just couldn’t help but think of the “time escapes” reference from the clock in Still.

I talked about how I think Virgil being hurt represents Daryl getting hurt and Beth saving him, but also want to point out that we've got a getting-stabbed-in-the-back theme going on this season. We also saw it with Bossi, who Pope threw into the fire. Maggie nailed him in the back with one of her knives and Pope made a big deal about how his wounds were on his back. At it’s core, it’s probably a betrayal theme (another connotation for stabbing someone in the back) and given that Daryl is already planning to betray Leah, that makes sense, and may be the reason for it. We’ll have to see where it goes.

Connie covers herself and guts and lets walkers in. That's how she saves herself and Virgil. I'm assuming that will correlate to something with Beth and Daryl that’s similar.

Daryl and Leah:

In the torture scene with Frost, I just wanted to point out that they're torturing him using fingernail methods, and then Daryl cut off one of his fingers. They specifically did not waterboard him. Waterboarding wouldn’t be the only form of torture the Reapers are familiar with, but the point is, it's a purposeful choice on the part of the writers. Daryl was tortured by water, but Frost wasn't.

(Love how the light is shining down on Daryl’s wings in this picture.)

At one point, Frost says something to Daryl about how are they going to just keep staring dreamily at one another. Kind of an odd reference, no? On the one hand, I think it's a reference to Bethyl, because while the two of them stared dreamily at each other over dinner, there was Frosty Cola on the table. But on the other hand, it could also be a reference to the hallucination theme.

When Daryl and Leah and the rest of them go to check out the town, Daryl stops next to a van that has its hatchback open. It just another way of showing a trunk being open. He uses power lines to alert Maggie to their presence. Could be part of the power/battery/lamp theory.

At this point, Daryl also puts his hand on a mailbox. Once again, I’ll go over the mailboxes later in the week, but this seemed very purposeful to me.

Incidentally, we learn more of the Reapers’ names. Powell, Washington, Fish, and of course Carver. Washington could be a reference to the revolution theme (George Washington). I also thought of George Washington Carver. He was a famous scientist who worked on agricultural methods for eradicating famine. 👀

And of course there's Fish. It sounds like their names that are purposely chosen for their symbolism.

I’ve already said I get heavy Claimer vibes from the Reapers. That was definitely reinforced here. When Carver and Daryl were arguing, Carver kept saying that he was chirping. He said, “Chirp, chirp” to Daryl several times. Which is clearly a bird reference.

But then he also says, “if this dirt bag wants to play, I’ll teach him the rules.” Which is almost a direct call back to Lenny saying that they had to, "teach Daryl." And this extends even to what happens in this episode. Maggie and her group getting out of the house while the Reapers are still inside was very reminiscent of Rick getting out of the Claimer house without them realizing it. I’ve pointed out before how much the situation is like that one. The Claimers were hunting Rick, and Daryl ends up joining them. Here, the Reapers are hunting Maggie for some as yet unknown reason, and Daryl has joined them.

I want to point out a cryptic conversation that Carver, Leah, and Daryl have here.

Carver, talking about Daryl: We both know who he is, deep down.

Leah: What?

Carver: I was there, remember? After? Do you really think this is going to end any different?

Leah: So this is what? You looking out for me?

Carver: Always.

Then she basically calls bullsh*t on that because he allowed Pope to lock her in a room that was set on fire.

But what are they talking about here? In a generic way, it sounds like Leah tends to trust people that she shouldn't, and it always ends badly. Carver is telling her that she shouldn't trust Daryl or it's gonna happen again.

But we’re also kind of thinking that he's actually talking about Daryl here. When he says “after,” maybe he means after Daryl left Leah the first time, in Find Me. So what does he mean about what happened after? It sounds like Leah didn't handle it so well. Did she try to commit suicide? Did she do something else? We don't know. It was just a really cryptic conversation and it's hinting at something we haven't seen yet.

But after that conversation, Carver also says, "You’re not seriously gonna —" but he gets cut off. Sirius reference.

Finally, let’s talk about the title. On the Inside. One thing we’ve learned is that when there are multiple story lines going on in an episode, the title must refer to all of them in one way or another. And often, it will be literal for one story but symbolic for another.

The most obvious meaning of the title is from Daryl’s story line. He’s the “inside man” in the Reapers organization, and is spying on behalf of Maggie and the rest of his people.

But what about Connie and Virgil? Inside of what? The house? Maybe, but that’s pretty cheesy. This is another reason I think this foreshadows Beth and Daryl being inside the CRM. On the “inside” of that organization and trying to get out.

TTD:

A quick note on The Talking Dead for this episode. There weren’t any massive TD smoking guns or anything, but I wanted to point out how they react to the idea of romance between Connie and Virgil.

I’ve said this about a million times, but they only let the actors tease romance partners for Daryl when they AREN’T going to happen. So, I often point to when Lauren Ridloff was first on TTD in S9. People asked about a Connie/Daryl relationship and she made a Daryl/Connie shower joke. Most of the fandom took that to mean they would go canon, but the opposite is actually true. Every time they’ve made that joke, it hasn’t happened.

Meanwhile, with Beth, who was the only one he had really obvious romantic chemistry with, and for whom Daryl’s feelings have now been confirmed, they’re constantly directing us away from it. Saying things like, they were brother and sister, or we didn’t miss out on any great romance, Daryl felt about her like he felt about Sophia, etc. And that, to me, says that Bethyl is the one that will happen. The other things are just teases, but they’re directing us away from the truth so that it’s more of a surprise when it happens. (Not that it will be for TD, but for most of the fandom it will be.)

Anyway, they kind of did the same thing with Connie and Virgil. Again, remember that when they asked LR about Daryl, she teasingly suggested it would happen and made a sex joke. But here, when asked about Connie and Virgil, she acted like it was absurd and she never would have thought of that. And if you ask me, there was WAY more going on in this episode between Connie and Virgil than there ever was between Connie and Daryl.

That, coupled with all the Alone references, and I’m relatively sure Connie and Virgil will be a thing. Because they aren’t canon yet, I can’t prove it. But if/when they do, we can point at this as more evidence of what won’t go canon, and what will. I’m just mentioning. 😉

I think that's all the details I have for now. This is definitely a super interesting episode and I'll be talking more about it over the next few days. Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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nothinggold13 · 3 years

Text

Peter the High King

“By his own words, he is Peter first. [...] When the people called him Magnificent, he still begged in quiet repetition to be called Peter.”

A thought in 25 parts.

Dedicated to @awfullybigwardrobe44 for being my editor & also listening to me rant about this analysis for the last month, as I got way too excited about the phrase “Peter the High King.”

I. "That [...] is Cair Paravel of the four thrones, in one of which you must sit as King. I show it to you because you are the first-born and you will be High King over all the rest." [The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe]

It is one thing to be King; it is another to be High King over others. The distinction is lost on Peter. He is still just a kid, and he has not yet tasted his first blood. All he knows is that he will look after his brother and sisters. He is, after all, the first born; it only makes sense that he will lead the other children. There is no fear. In the moment, he feels it plainly.

II. "And Peter became a tall and deep-chested man and a great warrior, and he was called King Peter the Magnificent."

In his eyes, “Magnificent” is an unexpected and undeserved title. For all he is, and all he is seen to be, he is still, in his heart, just Peter. He finds no love for the war that has made him into a warrior. Fears he had once never imagined have long since become his constant companions. But Peter is a King. Like all his duties, he bears this one well. There is peace in springtime, and there is joy in peace. Peter still breathes. Peter still believes. The people still call him Magnificent.

III. "And in a few years, if all goes well, King Peter has promised your royal father that he himself will make you Knight at Cair Paravel." [The Horse and His Boy]

The boy Shasta does not know the King Peter the Faun speaks of. He does not even know enough to recognize both the respect and familiar affection with which the Faun speaks. Tumnus knows the High King well, after all—as does Corin, who the Faun thinks he is speaking to. They know the High King well enough that there is no need to refer to him as such. They may call him King Peter, but only “King.” The title remains out of love and humble admiration, but his name stands firm out of deeper love and friendship. There is no need to call him “the High King,” as others do, and there is no need to call him “Magnificent.” They are familiar with him. They are family. He may as well, in their eyes, just be Peter.

IV. "For though the fancy of a woman has rejected this marriage, the High King Peter is a man of prudence and understanding who will in no way wish to lose the high honour and advantage of being allied to our House and seeing his nephew and grand nephew on the throne of Calormen."

If Peter could hear these words, he would laugh before settling into the depths of his anger. In all the conversation between Rabadash and his father, Peter’s name has never been mentioned. He has been, in their discussion, a nameless, vague, and distant figure. “The High King of Narnia,” they say, “their High King, not ours.” But now Rabadash risks his name, almost as if it’s an appeal; almost as if Peter is listening in after all. There is little cold in the warmth of the High King, but few have heard a laugh as cold as the one Peter would give at this. The inanity of the Calormene Prince’s words would amuse him before they enraged him; for in all his years as High King, Peter has never heard anyone misuse his name so badly.

V. "For though my brother, Peter the High King, defeated the Tisroc a dozen times over, yet long before that day our throats would be cut[...]"

Edmund gets it right. He often does. “My brother,” he says first. “Peter,” he says second. The familiar comes before his title. And Edmund knows, of course, that even if he’s just Peter - even if he’s the High King second - Peter will not suffer such an injustice. If “the High King Peter” is a prudent man, “Peter the High King” is a genuine one. In love and in brotherhood, Peter will always protect his siblings - or, Aslan forbid it, avenge them. He is and ever will be Peter first. He is and ever will be their brother.

VI. "For the truth was that in that golden age when the Witch and the Winter had gone and Peter the High King ruled at Cair Paravel, the smaller woodland people of Narnia were so safe and happy that they were getting a little careless."

This is how the legend starts: In the Golden Age of Narnia, the people were safe and happy. This is how the legend starts, before it is twisted and gilded and lost. In the Golden Age of Narnia, Peter is High King. Perhaps no one notices, but the narrative frames him as he wants to be framed: Peter first. His name comes first. He is a person before he is a king or a myth or a hero. This is how the legend starts, but the narrative is lost when the people need heroes instead.

VII. "’If I had but my cordial with me,’ Queen Lucy was saying, ‘I could soon mend this. But the High King has so strictly charged me not to carry it commonly to the wars and to keep it only for great extremities!’"

Here lies the cost of the title. Lucy doesn’t know the weight Peter took upon himself the day he told her not to carry the cordial into battle. Lucy can’t understand it. Not yet. But Peter has seen the hurt it has caused her to make terrible choices on fields of blood; the devastation she experiences each time she saves one and loses another. Peter is the High King because he needs to be - because someone needs to be - because he is the oldest. The High King must lead the others. The High King must protect the others. So Peter takes the choice away, and with it, he hopes, the hurt.

VIII. "And Lucy told again [...] the tale of the Wardrobe and how she and King Edmund and Queen Susan and Peter the High King had first come into Narnia."

You wouldn’t know it to listen to her, but Lucy doesn’t remember the tale so well on her own. The details of their coming are blanketed in snow; even to Lucy, the story sounds more like a fairy tale than history. But she knows well that among fairy tales, some truths still stand. There are truths like hope; like how the White Witch’s winter is all but forgotten in these peaceful days, but is remembered for the hope in the wide eyes of the young girl who saw it as a wonderland rather than a curse. Even now in Lucy, that hope remains. There are truths like change; like how the betrayal of a boy once desperate for affection became the groundwork for a king to grow in justice. Though all know Edmund is no traitor now, they know it is these past missteps and mistakes that have made him wise. There are truths like courage; like the queen who followed Aslan to his death, yet does not fight in wars. Courage exists in gentleness, in dedication, and in love, and Susan shows them this every day. There are truths like the death and resurrection of the Great Lion, which remains forever the source of salvation for all of Narnia — not for only one. And, perhaps least of all, another truth remains in the fact that Peter is still Peter. The High King was a boy once, and somewhere in their hearts, he is a boy still. It’s funny how as Lucy tells the tale, her beloved older brother takes the form of a brave, terrified child. He is in all their minds a warrior and protector, yet they can see him clearly even at the beginning. It’s funny, but it’s real.

IX. "'It is my sword Rhindon,' he said; 'with it I killed the Wolf.' There was a new tone in his voice, and the others all felt that he was really Peter the High King again." [Prince Caspian]

He is Peter first, when they look at him. His voice is far from mythic. It is Peter’s voice; the voice of man and boy and king and brother. They are reminded by the name of Rhindon how the Wolf’s blood was shed by unwanted bravery - an unwilling thrust. Rhindon is not the sword of a fearless warrior; it is the sword of a dutiful knight. Susan and Edmund and Lucy have never known the legendary Magnificent King. They’ve only known Peter.

X. "But at least you can try to be a King like the High King Peter of old, and not like your uncle."

Peter becomes a fairy tale in the eyes of the frightened Prince. The legendary High King - over all Kings of Narnia, under only Aslan - is, all at once, an idol. Brave and benevolent and wise, he is something to be striven for. The High King Peter is king first, man second. The stories paint him in golden light, and in the damaged remnants of copied portraits in Cornelius’ study, he appears to wear more a halo than a crown.

XI. "It may have the power to call Queen Lucy and King Edmund and Queen Susan and High King Peter back from the past, and they will set all to rights."

There is an old rhyme about Adam’s flesh and bone. There is another about the returning of spring. Few remember the latter, it seems, as a new Son of Adam comes of age. Faith is put on the heads of four children. But Peter remembers well, if he could only be asked, that it is by Aslan’s teeth and mane and blood that the earth is reawakened. It is He that will set all to rights, not the ancient Sons and Daughters. Peter remembers well, though the horn has not yet called for him. Peter remembers well, though when he comes, no one will ask.

XII. "’I'd much rather not have to vote.’ // ‘You're the High King,’ said Trumpkin sternly.”

The decision is placed in his hands, and the weight of it on his shoulders. It is clear by Trumpkin’s tone that he is not looking for majority rule; if the party were split unevenly, Trumpkin would still make the High King choose. Peter never asked to choose. “You’re the High King,” he’s told, and the words scold him, remind him, immortalize him. It shouldn’t be his decision. Peter once trusted Lucy more than he trusted himself. Peter once trusted Aslan more than all his siblings put together. He knows this, but he can’t see Aslan now. In fear, Peter votes to go down. Lucy cries.

XIII. "If you all go, of course, I'll go with you; and if your party splits up, I'll go with the High King. That’s my duty to him and King Caspian."

Peter doesn’t know what scares him the most about this. Two things have been made clear. The first is that Trumpkin, even if not maliciously, would leave the others alone. He would leave them behind, if Peter led him to. Lucy is 9, and Edmund just turned 11. Susan shivers even without cold. They look little like the Queens and King they used to be. And all at once, even if he has no other reason, Peter will follow Lucy in spite of reason. He can’t leave them alone. In spite of himself, in spite of his fears, he will follow. For that is his second - and perhaps greater - fear: when they make it to Caspian, he will still be alone. He sees it clearly. Trumpkin has decided that it is not the four ancient sovereigns on which the fate of Narnia rests. Now it lies on only one. Trumpkin will go with the High King, he says. Peter wonders now whether that means he will be followed or dragged.

XIV. "It's the High King, King Peter."

As he is introduced to the young King Caspian, Peter flinches at each word. They land at first like blows; clumsy punches, but painful all the same. Then, Peter realizes, they settle like cuts instead. He wonders how many it would take to bleed out. He sees the depth of it now. He is Peter last, in the eyes of the Old Narnians. They don’t want Peter; they want the mythical High King of old. So that is how they introduce him: “It’s the High King,” they say first. Second, they call him “King” again. And then tacked on to the end of his title, as if it were specification rather than identity, is his name.

XV. “’You say, Caspian, we are not strong enough to meet Miraz in pitched battle.’ // ‘I'm afraid not, High King,’ said Caspian.”

Every time Peter looks at Caspian, he is painfully aware that Caspian is just a boy. Every time he looks at Caspian, he is reminded that he, himself, is just a boy. Caspian has not figured it out yet. In the wide eyes of the future king, Peter is a mythic hero. It is no wonder he is awestruck. Yet when Peter looks at the other boy, he addresses him by name. Names are a kindness. The kindness is not returned. It is not Peter they look to; the Old Narnians have made it clear that it is the High King that will save them. He yearns to shout that he cannot, to have it out of his hands, to tell them that Aslan will save them instead. But, as always, he swallows these fears. He has a solution, after all. Confused child though he is, he’s already come up with a solution. He could never leave them wanting. The Narnians have hung their hopes on him, and he hopes, in turn, that his answer will buy them time until Aslan acts. They cannot all fight. They cannot face Miraz in battle. So Peter does all he can do, and lets them bleed him dry instead.

XVI. "Peter, by the gift of Aslan, by election, by prescription, and by conquest, High King over all Kings in Narnia, Emperor of the Lone Islands and Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion…”

It slips from his tongue as if rehearsal has become nature. By his own words, he is Peter first. Always, he is Peter first. By the gift of Aslan, he is all other titles, but even his most beloved titles are secondary to him. When the people called him Magnificent, he still begged in quiet repetition to be called Peter.

XVII. "There's a man for you! Uses his enemy's arm as a ladder. The High King! The High King! Up, Old Narnia!"

There is a secret here; a secret so old and buried that even Peter himself has almost forgotten it. Because the secret is, for all his fear and doubt and unworthiness, Peter loves his title as a part of him. The rousing cheers of Trumpkin remind him. He knows once more what it is to be High King: it is his greatest burden, but in equal measure, it is his greatest gift. The Narnians rise up with him. The Narnians’ strength is his strength. The High King is just Peter, but Peter is the High King.

XVIII. "But the other creatures all cheered and rose up in honour of Peter the High King, and Queen Susan of the Horn, and King Edmund and Queen Lucy."

When they rise up for the Kings and Queens, they rise up for Peter. It’s like forgiveness, almost, for being man instead of myth; permission to be a boy instead of a man. He does not feel the weight of his title here and now. The memory of the crown he once wore feels, in this moment, more like the flower chains Lucy used to place atop his head. In their cheers, Peter feels that even in the Narnians’ adoring eyes, he is Peter first. The High King will be remembered. Memory, however, is no longer legend.

XIX. "'I've never understood why they belong to Narnia,' said Caspian. 'Did Peter the High King capture them?'" [The Voyage of the Dawn Treader]

Edmund and Lucy don’t know why these words feel as fresh as the sea air, but neither can deny that they feel even more at home now that Caspian has said them. They don’t know how Caspian first referred to their brother, and they don’t know how it was wrong. They don’t know the way Caspian said “High King,” as if Peter were modelled in precious metal. Caspian does not see him that way any longer. Time and memory change things. Perhaps they make idols out of men, but they can, in fact, turn gold and stone into flesh again. Edmund and Lucy don’t know, but they don’t have to know. It’s enough to feel. In love, Peter comes first again. In love, they know when it is right. And so the air is clear when their brother’s name is said, and wounds are healed in a world far away.

XX. "I am one of the four ancient sovereigns of Narnia and you are under allegiance to the High King my brother."

The words are flung like stones, and Edmund knows not what he does. This is, in the end, Peter’s fear. “High King” is a title easily weaponized by greed and pride, and now Edmund clings to it even though it isn’t his to possess. It’s not his fault; Magic is often stronger than loyalty, and sometimes even loyalty doesn’t know it’s own rules. The words are a grievous error, but no one knows to correct them. As Edmund argues with Caspian - both still children beneath all their growth - Peter is thrown under their feet. He is nameless in pride. He becomes Edmund’s brother secondly, and only that so Edmund can lay claim to what he desires. It’s an unintended betrayal. No one will remember it. Magic is often stronger than anger, too.

XXI. "That look is in the face of all true kings of Narnia, who rule by the will of Aslan and sit at Cair Paravel on the throne of Peter the High King." [The Silver Chair]

The High King’s throne is not a physical place; Cair Paravel has long since fallen to ruin and been rebuilt on the coast. Peter never sat in the throne that sits there now… but it is his throne still. In the figure of the High King there still lies a truth which can never and must never be lost in the kingdom of Narnia. For all the ages that lie between them, the throne is still his. Yet the comparison does not lie in that figure; it lies instead in the person. The legend has changed; the narrative has ordered itself after him once again. Memory does not recall a mythic High King, crowned in gold and light. Instead, memory falls on a soft boy who grew into a good man. Memory falls on the flesh and bone rather than steel and gold. Memory falls on Peter.

XXII. "I charge you in the name of Aslan, speak to me. I am Peter the High King." [The Last Battle]

It has been said that who he is always comes first, and what he is always comes second. Sometimes that is only partly true. Sometimes there are names and titles of greater importance and truer power which must come first. As Peter clenches his fist and screws up his courage, it is to Aslan’s name he clings. As Peter asks the vision in front of him to speak, it is to Aslan’s power he appeals. And when, at the end of his address, he does mention his own name, it is not from a place of authority. It is a plea. “I am Peter,” he begs, “Peter the High King. You can trust me. You can speak to me.”

XXIII. “‘Sire,’ said Jill coming forward and making a beautiful curtsey, ‘let me make known to you Peter the High King over all Kings in Narnia.’”

To be High King means and has always meant many things to Peter. He’s 9 years older, now, than when he was first given the title, and he has lived 24 years since then. He barely remembers how in those first days it hardly carried any weight at all. It had been, at the time, his natural role. For him to take that responsibility had just made sense. But Peter feels it heavier now — he feels everything heavier. The weight of the crown has never left his mind, even after nearly a decade. Peter hadn’t known in those moments Aslan first spoke to him — when he first promised him all of this — what it would be to be King, let alone a king over others. Peter knows now, and he knows well. It is the weight of a world; it is blood and sweat and tears; it is the sting of the sword, and the crack of the whip on his own flesh. It is the crash of the ocean, and the salt on the table. It is the lilt of the music echoing through empty palace halls. It is the rhythm of dancing feet, and laughter through open windows, and the patterns in the stars. And, above all, it is not a burden; for all the hurt, it is instead a promise. Peter is the High King, and always will be. The High King is a boy named Peter.

XXIV. “Tirian had no need to ask which was the High King, for he remembered his face (though here it was far nobler) from his dream.”

And it lifts: the heart, the music, the feet, the head. Everything lifts. The heaviest weights mean little in the end. The heaviest weights are worth it all to bear. And Peter is noble now, isn’t he? He is noble to his brother and sister - maybe even to the sister who won’t admit to any of it. He is noble to the friends who seat him at the head of the table. He is noble even in the eyes of a king who bore weights Peter never did. Peter lifts the other king off his knees. Eyes lift. Everything lifts. The weights are lifted off.

XXV. "'Peter, High King of Narnia,' said Aslan. 'Shut the Door.'"

It is to Peter that the command is given: it’s given to the boy who faltered, who doubted: to the boy on his knees. It is Peter, after all, who slayed the wolf, well before he held any title. And yet, as always, his title follows. Once more, Peter will do that which only the High King can. Once more, Peter will serve. Once more, Peter will obey. Even if he falters, or doubts, or falls again to his knees, he will do what he has been charged to do. The door will shut. The key will turn. The weight will be forgotten. It is understood. Peter trusts now; trusts in a reason for his crown and his calling; trusts Aslan even where he didn’t before. There is no fear. In the moment, he feels it plainly.

#narnia #the chronicles of narnia #peter pevensie #the lion the witch and the wardrobe #prince caspian #the last battle #he is Peter the High King #not the High King Peter

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ceratonia-siliqua · 4 years

Note

I saw you were open to prompts and I was wondering if you could write something with Android Peter?? (bonus points if smut is involved) Your writing is so good and I would love to see your take on it!

Thank you for waiting! I hope it delivers!!

Ship: WinterSpider (former Stucky mentioned)

Warnings: Nudity mentioned, some dehumanization due to the nature of androids, and some asshole Steve mentioned (sorry buddy)

“Bucky, come on. Just give it a shot.”

“Tony-”

“You’ve been depressed for months, just take him for a few weeks. If you absolutely hate having him around then you can return him. I just finished designing a maternal instincts chip for Pepper, worst case she’d love to use him as baby practice.”

“Fine, fine. Whatever, what do I need to do?”

Tony beamed like Bucky had been the one begging rather than the other way around. The bastard put a hand on his shoulder as he led him out of the study and into the lab. It wasn’t a long walk, just a quick pop down the hall and a few stairs. The room was not a place he ever went, having heard legends of the absolute horror show it was.

The rumors were on the fucking money but not in the way he had expected.

It was filled with mechanical body parts, shocking realistic ones that left him staring as he tried to put together that they’re entirely creations of tech. He knew Tony built droids, fuck, the whole world did. It was his business. He’d gotten so good at the task in fact that he was facing some news shitstorms given the advancements in AI leading to a genuine conversation in what to do as the creations gained further and further sense of sentience. They’d tried to stop Stark, but when you have enough money to buy out the federal government, not much could be done on that front.

“You’re gonna love him. He’s an absolute sweetheart, in fact, he’s got a heavily modified Gen 4 Sweetheart Build. One of a kind! Even perfected the synthetic curls working on him. Possibly one of the kindest AI’s I’ve ever constructed, little bit of a trickster when he wants to be though, couldn’t let you get away without a bit of a challenge-” Tony continued to go on as he practically shoved Bucky towards a side room.

“Tony, please don’t tell me you made this android specifically for me.” He had been under the impression it was a match Tony had made after the fact, not something with genuine thought put into it.

“Can’t just throw any random personality at you, Bucko! You need a specific set of traits and I am happy to deliver seeing as how nothing like this kiddo is like what we have on the market.”

“Tony, you should have asked first. What if I can’t take care of this-” Machine? Man? How was he supposed to refer to this gift Tony was trying to give him?

“Trust me! You will.”

“Tony.” He stopped just before the closed door leading to the room where this now present anxiety was lurking. “Why are you doing this?”

There are several beats of silence before a word passes through the space. “Bucky… you haven’t been the same since Steve left. I want to help you move on from him. It doesn’t take a super genius to see that he broke your heart.”

It would have been kinder to just have punched him in the gut. Steve had abandoned him. Left him for a woman from his youth after promising a life with him. There had been no reason, no suggestion Steve had been unhappy with him, yet one day he was there and the next there was a note on the coffee table and a gaping hole in his apartment.

“Please, just try. I know you’re still trying to work through this but just try him out for a little while. You deserve to be happy, open yourself up to it. That asshole wins if you stay hung up on him forever.”

He really fucking hates when Tony is right.

Without another word he opens the door without Tony’s permission and steps into the room. The tiny form that lays on the fluffy duvet takes his breath away.

The boy is lithe, so small Bucky is scared for a second that Tony has given him a child. Getting closer though he sees the marks of manhood, more defined muscle, raised cheekbones, a lack of true baby fat anywhere on his body. He couldn’t help but notice the way a set of small, smooth balls peek out from his pressed thighs. Yet to see his face and Bucky was already feeling the tugging connection, a need to know more.

Rounding the bundle, he can’t help but pull a blanket off of one of the random shelves, covering the slip of a thing in front of him. Taking the opportunity to glimpse the face of the android coming home with him, he crouches in front of that seemingly sleeping face.

It takes his breath away. Small noise, delicate cupids bow, wild and frenzied curls framing rosy cheeks. He desperately wanted to see those eyes, wanted to know if they were just as soft as the rest of him.

“His name is Peter. One of the most high end models, he has features not even on the market. He can feel cold, heat, pain, pleasure. Both his throat and anal cavity are outfitted with the most expensive and durable stimulation sleeves we have available. I picked a version that everyone loves, top seller. He’s able to cum if you want him too. Knows how to groom himself but has preferences. I picked… something a little more dependent. He’ll keep you busy. Utter love bug is what he is. He’s had a little bit of ‘on’ time, just enough to calibrate some settings. His list of enjoyment is fairly open, he’s predisposed to certain things but since he’s never experienced anything he’s not sure what he likes quite yet. Gentle, kind hearted, and designed to form deep attachments, he should be perfect.”

He is the opposite of Steve. Not the exact opposite, but it seems Tony worried about hitting too close to home and made something that was unfamiliar enough to be wholly new while still takinging into consideration what he might enjoy. Even size wise, where Steve had been bigger than him, Peter was much smaller and maneuverable. Peter could be a doll in his hands if Bucky wanted, put him in control.

“He’s also the second ever android to be programmed with the ability to form connections of love and feel the full range of emotions available to humans.”

Bucky’s head shot towards the other man. “Tony, that’s illegal.”

The frown on that goatee ridden face shows just how aware of that fact he is. “I know, but only on market versions. If you self construct a droid or personally program and install the coding needed, which most people can’t, then it’s fine. I’m not allowed to sell people love, but I can give it to you for free.”

Already stuck in this deal, already tender for the angelic little thing in front of him, he sighs. “We’re not gonna get in shit for this? He’s not gonna get disassembled if people find out?”

“Most people aren’t even going to know he’s not human. Unless they get really close and study him, no one on the street is going to see him and think he’s anything but a regular young man out with his boyfriend.”

“... Alright Tony, you win. Where do I sign?”

____

Becoming conscious, and aware of that consciousness, it is something humans were unprepared for in their creation of AI. After all, children forget the trauma of being born, but how do you prepare a being that can already understand the complexities of life for the sudden plunge into reality? Really, you don’t.

Peter woke up and for the first time, was aware. His systems were all fine, green lit and all areas functional and ready to go. Yet, he didn’t move. Everything was sounds, shapes, colors, objects, things he knew but that were not familiar. It was something to take in, how do you even begin when there is so much?

There is a pressure between his shoulders, and suddenly he is focused on what it is to feel.

“You seem a little overwhelmed, sugar. Everything okay?”

The voice is smooth, registers as male in his system, compared to things he’s never heard but knew the sound of.

“Yeah… just- trying to get my bearings.” At least speech wasn’t a difficulty. It was not comfortable on his tongue but they were still doable, something he could succeed at even as his vision is too full. He closes his eyes, sighing as the lack of input makes everything feel less chaotic within him.

“Take all the time you need, I’ve got plenty to give.”

“What’s your name?” A basic way of understanding, something so ingrained in his code that it was the easiest thing he’d done so far.

“Bucky, James Buchanan Barnes if you wanna get technical but Bucky is fine.”

“Bucky,” The name rolled across his tongue, smooth and buttery. It was new but old, as if he’d been told the name thousands of times. It felt like an old hat, a detail he would remember even if everything else in his memory failed. “I like it.” Something clicked, a sense of enjoyment, a rush of pleasant feelings across his skin and the delicate, hair thin wires underneath.

That seemed to knock the man into silence. Peter reached out, groping for the being that was with him, showing him kindness despite their lack of previous introductions. Fingers grazing something slightly scratchy, he gasps, eyes flying open on reflex when a light pressure envelopes his wrist.

The man is fuzz but Peter knows enough to know what beauty is and this man must be the very definition of it. Long hair, dark shadows across his upper lip and jaw. Blue, a color he had not realized had a name till he saw it here. He feels warm, a giggle escapes him, something he knows is a sign of his happiness, one he hopes Bucky will share in.

Smiling is a sign, a good one. Something that makes Peter giddy as he flexes his fingers against that same scratchy surface on Bucky’s face.

“What is this?” Scritching away with the tips of his digits.

A chuckles, soothing and filled with a note that rolls slow and low across Peter’s ears. “A beard, you know what that is?”

He looks up the word, searching in his head for an answer until it pops up. “Oh! Yes, I do.”

“Really are new to this, aren’t you?”

His cheeks suddenly feel heated and an odd feeling curls in his belly as he glances away.

“It’s okay darling,” There is a rustling of fabrics and a gentle set of lips pressed to his forehead. A sign of affection, and one Peter knows he loves the second he feels it. “We’ll get you all figured out.”

#ask cera #winterspider #peter parker x bucky barnes #mcu #this is unedited so apologies #also it's a bit short but I wanted to get it out before other things buried it in my wips pile forever!#Anonymous #siliqua writes

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everybodyscupoftea · 3 years

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idk you yet: next up forever

reggie peters x oc

and if you’re broken. you’ll make your own thing

There was nothing quite like the rush of playing in front of a large crowd. Reggie loved the band’s chemistry in the garage they used to practice in or the energy of small crowds they played for in the back rooms of record shops while they were trying to make it big, but there was no feeling greater than playing a stadium full of people screaming their name.

Luke loved it too, he ate it up, and he was always on fire, always at his best, which in turn fueled Alex to match his boyfriend’s energy, and Reggie could just feed off of them. When they got signed to their first big label, Reggie could just remember Luke’s flushed cheeks, his, “This is going to be great, guys. We’re going to be great.”

“Legends, even,” Alex added.

Which Reggie thought maybe was a bit much, they were still young, still largely untested, but he loved the enthusiasm. Bobby was a bit more chill, probably the most levelheaded of them all, and the least driven by emotion, but even he was vibrating with excitement.

Then they started planning for a tour. Reggie hadn’t even realized a national tour was possible while they were still teenagers. Hell, he didn’t even realize releasing a full album was possible.

“Boy bands do it all the time, think about One Direction,” Bobby told him quietly while Luke chattered on to Alex about songs he’d written that he thought were perfect for a first album. Reggie was grateful Luke wasn’t the one to read his facial expression that clearly was showing some sort of doubt.

The first tour was incredible, smaller venues, but they sold most of them out. Sunset Curve was new and people were curious. The second tour was where it all became insanely real. Reggie can remember the day Luke ran into the garage, beaming.

He flopped on the couch, which wasn’t unusual, and propped his head up on his hand, “So, I talked to Drew today.” Their manager.

Alex hummed, sitting down next to him, “What about?” If Luke had gone and made decisions without the rest of them, he was the most likely to react in a way that wouldn’t hurt Luke’s feelings, but would still remind him that they were a group.

“He thinks we should do a world tour after releasing our second album.”

Reggie’s eyebrows shot up. He knew they were big, he knew they were popular in a few countries overseas, but he didn’t know they were world tour big. The other two boys were also shocked into silence. Their second album was fairly close to release, they’d released a single for it the week before, but a world tour already.

“Holy shit,” Bobby mumbled, and then a few seconds later, “holy shit!”

“Yeah!” Luke was practically shaking as he jumped to his feet and onto the table, “Guys, this is it. We’ve made it.”

Reggie snorted, “Okay, well, we don’t know that the tour’s going to sell.”

“It’ll sell,” Luke clearly had the confidence to carry the rest of the group through it, which Reggie could get behind. He couldn’t quite shake one of his mom’s lessons growing up: temper your excitement because things rarely go as planned.

So they got to work. They put the finishing touches on their second album, which did extremely well, some of the songs flying up the charts to the number one spot for a few days. They announced their tour, a few weeks later the dates and locations. Some arenas sold out within minutes. When they found that out, Luke bragged, not hesitating to throw in, “I told you so,” every time it came up.

They planned a show, put together a list of their favorite songs off both their albums, worked out effects they wanted to put on something fun for their fans. Reggie was a lot more hands on in that process, not the most gifted with tech, but was the most interested in actually looking impressive outside of just the music.

Then they had to find an opening band. Someone who they could get along with, someone smaller that they could help get exposure. Reggie found them first, on YouTube, a couple called Double Trouble, also based in Los Angeles. After watching a few of their videos, Luke approved wholeheartedly and got Drew to contact them. Double Trouble was ecstatic, and thus, the details were finalized.

And the tour was great, they started in the South and worked their way up the Midwest, hit a few cities in Canada, down the East Coast and ended up home along the West Coast for a few shows.

Reggie was constantly exhausted, it felt like a daze. Travel, play, adrenaline rush, eat, crash, repeat. And everything was great, they played consistently well, and after a few shows, he thought they really got the routine down pat. It worked really well for them, and the boys were thrilled with all the choices Reggie made.

The only problem was that it got lonely. He felt like he was surrounded by couples. Luke and Alex, Julie and Flynn, Bobby and his girlfriend that showed up every so often when she could get off work. Reggie was truly the only one alone. Which was fine, they were busy, but sometimes, sometimes the loneliness was heavy.

It all built, crushing him slowly as they crawled their way through tour, more and more dinners after the show feeling like a double date he was just crashing while Bobby stayed in to FaceTime his girlfriend.

October

When it finally overflowed was after their show in San Jose. It sold out, most of their California shows did, and that one was especially incredible to him. The fucking SAP Center. He knew a lot of their fans were Californians, that’s where they got their start, but he wasn’t prepared for that.

They went to a local place, something small that they likely wouldn’t be recognized much at, and once again, he got the double date vibe. The couples talking lowly amongst each other, relaxed and comfortable, while Reggie picked at the straw paper on the table and stuck it to the condensation on his beer bottle.

He wasn’t sure if it was the fatigue that made him snap or just that the weight of his loneliness got too much to bear, he was out of his seat before his brain caught up and mumbled for them to get him something takeout, that he was going back to the bus.

Luke started to protest, hopping out of the booth to grab his arm, but he must’ve seen something on Reggie’s face that caused him to reluctantly drop his arm. Reggie wasn’t sure what expression he had, but it must’ve been something raw to make Luke give up that easily. Eyes burning, he shoved his hands in his pocket and left the restaurant, desperate to crash in his bunk and sleep it off.

Shoulders slumped, Reggie headed back toward the arena, staring at the cracks in the concrete as he walked, not wanting to attract even the slightest bit of attention. That’s when it happened.

William pretty much kept to a routine. It was easier for him, especially during the season, and it kept his dog happy. There was something that night, some anxiousness about the upcoming season maybe, that had him out and about after dark, walking Luna down the sidewalk near the arena.

There had been more traffic than usual that night, he wasn’t sure why, maybe a concert at SAP, but he wanted to see it. Before fans flocked there, and before he was contractually obligated to show up and be on top of his game.

It was something he did in college too, sat in the bleachers right before the season and soaked in the stillness of the rink. The calm before the storm. He couldn’t get into the big arena, not without keys and a certain level of clearance he didn’t have, but he could walk around, using the facade of taking Luna on a walk as his reason.

He almost ran into the boy, more focused on staring at the buildings around him than the sidewalk. It was late, he assumed no one would be out, clearly he was wrong. Luna barking and pulling on her leash snapped him out of his trance, confused as to why she’d be freaking out.

The boy obviously hadn’t seen him either, hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring at the ground, and giving off huge leave me alone vibes. William almost recoiled, he looked so sad. But maybe sad wasn’t the right word. Morose maybe.

Luna could tell too, he thought. She was pretty perceptive like that. William only had to consider for half a second before giving in. Dogs always cheered people up, right? He let her pull him over until he was right in front of the boy who stumbled back at his sudden appearance, startled look on his face.

“Sorry,” William said quickly, trying to look as apologetic as possible, “didn’t mean to startle you.”

The boy shrugged, staring at him inquisitively, eyes narrowed as if he was trying to figure him out. It made him a little uneasy, but he figured maybe the boy was a hockey fan.

“Can I pet your dog?” he asked quietly, staring down at Luna where she was practically chomping at the bit to get to him.

“Yeah, of course!”

William took the time to study him while the boy squatted down to pet her. He was cute, William realized, and looked slightly familiar, though he couldn’t quite place it. Maybe he was from the area or lived in William’s building.

The boy was gentle, murmuring quietly to Luna while stroking her head. He couldn’t be sure, but William thought his shoulders started to lower where they’d been defensively tensed around his ears before.

Luna jumped up, resting her two front paws on his knees, and licked his cheek, drawing a soft laugh. William immediately wanted to hear it again, he was entranced. Soon, too soon in William’s opinion, the boy was gently lowering Luna back to the sidewalk and standing back up.

He cleared his throat and gave William a small smile, “Thanks. Dogs fix everything.”

“I agree,” William answered quickly before taking his chance, “I’m William by the way.”

“Reggie,” the boy answered, holding his hand out for William to shake. He did happily, trying to keep the shake out of his hands as excitement started to build.

“You from around here, Reggie?” he asked, genuinely curious and not wanting to let him go.

“Los Angeles actually.”

William couldn’t stop the frown, totally unsure why Reggie looked familiar. He hummed, “Sucks, NorCal is 100% a better place to live.”

Reggie laughed, “Oh yeah? Seems a bit biased.”

“Totally unbiased,” William crossed a finger over his heart, “I’ve been there.”

“So you live around here?” Reggie crossed his arms.

“I do. A few blocks away.”

“Seems a little late to be out and about.”

“Luna wanted a walk,” William told him, and in a rare state of perfect honesty, “plus was feeling a little anxious.”

“What about?” Reggie asked before flinching, “Oh God, I’m so sorry. That was super intrusive, feel free not to answer that.”

William laughed, “Oh nothing, nerves over a new job.”

“Ah,” he nodded a bit knowingly, “stage fright.”

Narrowing his eyes, William nodded slowly, “Something like that.”

A comfortable silence lapsed, and Reggie’s eyes started to droop a bit. He blinked a few times and let out a sigh, “I should probably get going. It’s been a long night.”

“Me too,” William smiled wryly, “should attempt to get at least a little sleep before I have to be up early.”

“Feel that.”

Just as soon as Reggie went to side step him, to walk away forever, William blurted, “Wait.”

Reggie froze, head snapping up to meet his eyes, “Yes?”

“Can I,” he drew in a breath and gathered his courage, “could I get your number?”

Tilting his head, Reggie looked him over, William could see the carefully masked surprise, “Um, yeah, sure.”

William beamed, and held his hand out for Reggie’s phone. Eyebrows raised, Reggie passed it over. Typing in his number, William couldn’t help but add a shark emoji. Maybe it was a bit on the nose, but he thought it was at least a little funny.

Reggie wrinkled his eyebrows, but texted him to make sure William had his number too. His stomach swooped as it popped up on his screen.

Hey it’s Reggie

“Thank you,” he gushed, trying to mask his excitement a bit, “I’ll text you later.”

Reggie smiled, and it seemed genuine, “I’m looking forward to it.”

Reggie was oddly nervous. He’d never met anyone quite like William, the boy who either didn’t know who he was or didn’t care. Laying in bed, he passed his phone back and forth between his hands, waiting for a text that didn’t seem to be coming.

Did he hallucinate William out of pure tiredness, he wondered, scrambling to check. Nope, he’d sent a text. Maybe William fell asleep as soon as he got home. Or forgot.

A voice in his head that sounded oddly like Alex suggested, ‘text him’ which seemed a bit absurd at first, but the idea started to grow on him. Thumbs hovering over the keypad, he eventually came up with something simple.

Hope you made it home okay

The response wasn’t immediate, but came pretty soon after.

Just made it, was about to text you

Reggie smiled goofily, and stared at the message. Shaking his head, he knew he needed to respond.

Guess I’m just faster.

The next text from William was immediate.

Doubt it. Just more impatient.

Reggie snorted.

Also true.

The typing bubbles appeared and disappeared a few times while Reggie waited with baited breath.

So what are you up to?

Reggie hesitated, should he tell this boy who he was or keep it vague?

In bed, probably going to sleep soon

He figured it was probably the right move when William texted back.

Same, got an early morning tomorrow. It was nice meeting you though, talk tomorrow?

Reggie’s stomach actually fluttered, he didn’t even know it could do that.

Sounds great

He fell asleep with a smile on his face and when he woke up, phone pressed to his chest, battery dangerously low, there was already a text from William and a picture of Luna attached.

Good morning, hope you slept well. We sure did.

Reggie sighed, thankful that it wasn’t all a dream.

I did, thanks. Good luck with your new job today

William didn’t text back for a while, but Reggie didn’t really expect him too. He knew not every job was like his, so he figured William wasn’t allowed his phone much at work. Which was fine, he’d just wait with a little ball of anxiety in his chest until he got a response.

It turned into a routine after that. William always responded at the weirdest times. Sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes at night, and sometimes in the morning. Reggie never could pin down his schedule, just went with the flow as they worked their way through the western states.

The boys were never really sports guys. If they did keep up with anything it was basketball. But one night, out of pure coincidence, Reggie found himself on a channel playing a hockey game. It looked interesting, and one of the teams was the Sharks which he faintly remembered played at the arena they’d performed at the night he met William.

Maybe he could talk to William about it later, he seemed like the type to be into sports. So Reggie settled in and texted him, unsure if he’d even get a response.

You a hockey fan?

And then a few seconds later after a brutal hit.

I wasn’t but this is kinda fun. I’m sure you’re a sharks fan, they look good

He took a liking to a particular player, number 23 that the announcers kept calling Harris. Reggie found himself at the edge of his seat as the other team started to come back, the Sharks struggling to hold their lead.

“Come on,” he muttered under his breath, nervously checking the clock, “so close.”

He pulled his phone out as the other team called a timeout.

If you aren’t into hockey you should check this out, I’m so invested

The game started again and he put his phone down, paying full attention to the TV. He tapped his knee as the last minute of the game stretched out, totally confused why the other team’s goalie just dipped, but invested nonetheless.

When it ended, he let out a relieved breath as the Sharks managed to hold on and win. Reggie stood up, shaking out his fingers which he didn’t realize he’d been clenching into his pants. He walked away from the TV, needing a break, and went to find something to eat.

Their cabinets were sparse, so he left the bus, wandering to the nearest grocery store to pick something up. His phone buzzed a few times, no doubt William texting him back, and he juggled the items in his hands to fish it out of his pocket.

Hockey’s cool. Probably my favorite sport. Picked a tough game to watch though. Calgary is pretty good this year, but the Sharks will get it figured out

Reggie chuckled and typed out his response with one hand while he waited for the people in front of him in the checkout line to move.

You seem like you know your stuff

The typing bubble appeared and disappeared for a minute straight, oddly reminiscent of the first night Reggie texted him, before the next text finally came through.

Yeah, hockey’s been part of my life for a while

After setting the boxes down and paying, Reggie responded.

Long time fan then. Always liked the Sharks?

Reggie didn’t get another text for a few minutes and figured it was one of those nights William was working.

Nope, liking the sharks is a new development. Started when I moved here

Stirring the pasta, Reggie nodded and decided to text him back when he sat down to eat. It never happened. He’d left the TV on accidentally, and when he sat back down on the couch, the men on screen were breaking down the game.

“William Harris in particular was impressive tonight. He really stepped up on the penalty kill, that game would’ve been a loss if he hadn’t played like he did.”

A picture of his William popped up on the screen. Well, Reggie was pretty sure. He didn’t quite look like he did when Reggie met him, and sure he’d only seen William that one time, but he was pretty fucking sure that was him.

Hands shaking, Reggie exited their text thread and was hitting FaceTime before even realizing what he was doing. It took William a few rings to pick up, and he smiled, looking a little surprised.

“Why are you on my TV? Or at least I think it’s you,” Reggie blurted, not even saying hello.

William blinked, surprised, “What?”

Reggie flipped the camera to show where they were still talking about this Harris player he’d been enamored with during the game. He watched William’s face carefully and saw the resemblance to the guy on the TV.

William winced and put on an apologetic smile, “Um, because I played well tonight.”

“Mhmm,” Reggie muttered, still shocked, “and you didn’t tell me, why?”

“I thought you’d figure it out. That’s what the shark emoji was for.”

Staring at William incredulously, Reggie managed, “In what world do I make that connection on my own?”

William smiled sheepishly, “Maybe it was a bit of a long shot. But I mean, it’s not a big deal, right? I’m still William.”

Reggie took a deep breath and relaxed back into the couch, “I suppose, yes.”

“And by the way, you’re not off the hook. You didn’t tell me you were a famous musician.”

“Oh God,” Reggie shut his eyes, “I totally meant to. I just couldn’t ever find the right time.”

“How about, ‘hey William, I know I seem normal but I’m actually famous and definitely way out of your league’? That would suffice in my opinion.”

Sitting up, Reggie glared at him, “Hold on, if anyone is out of anyone’s league, you’re definitely out of mine. A professional athlete, are you kidding me?”

William scoffed, “And you have fans all over the world, I just have fans in the United States, mostly in San Jose.”

“But you’re hot,” Reggie countered.

“So are you,” William argued and set his jaw stubbornly.

Reggie sighed, “Fine, we’re both hot. But, I’m not sure what this means.”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” William sounded desperate, “we’re just two guys, right?”

“Right.”

“And we like each other, right?”

“Right,” Reggie repeated.

“Then let’s just be two guys who like each other. Not two relatively well known guys.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, Reggie nodded, “Okay, I think I can do that.”

William was silent, both of them soaking in it, and Reggie sat up, “You look exhausted, I should let you go.”

“Wait,” William protested, “I want to see you again. When are you free?”

“I probably can’t make it for a while,” Reggie admitted, “Maybe mid-November if you have some off time.”

“November we have a homestand, I can definitely do that.”

“I’ll send dates.”

William blushed, “I’d like that very much.”

“We should FaceTime more,” Reggie mused.

“We absolutely should.”

When they finally hung up, Reggie immediately hunted down his laptop to start googling hockey rules. If he was going to (hopefully) date a hockey player he should start learning about the sport.

He didn’t think William would hold it against him if he didn’t, but hockey was clearly something the other boy was passionate about, and the least he could do was support him. Maybe the next day he’d be a bit embarrassed about the texts he’d sent, but for the night, at least he’d be preoccupied enough.

Over the next few weeks, Reggie started to watch Sharks games, every one he could, and the ones he had to miss for shows, he’d watch highlights after, all the time looking for his favorite player. William was good, Reggie knew that from the praise he got in the media, but one night he started looking up William’s highlights particularly. Found some stuff from his stint in college hockey and fell down a rabbit hole. He pulled out his phone.

You’re like. Insanely good.

The response was quick.

Ha. Thanks

Reggie scoffed.

Not joking. I’m looking at your college stuff, you went high in the draft. Maybe I was right about out of my league.

William sent back screenshots of his playlist, a few Sunset Curve songs thrown in the mix.

I’m not the only one insanely talented.

Reggie’s cheeks heated up and his palms started to sweat.

Mostly my bandmates honestly

He could almost hear the tone William would use if they were talking over FaceTime, he’d used it many times before.

Lies and slander. I’ve watched videos too

Reggie got that fluttering in his stomach again, and he actually went to look at dates, something he’d been putting off, checking the Sharks’ schedule to see if there were any days that matched up.

Hey, how about November 14?

William FaceTimed him instead of responding. His cheeks were flushed, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Yes, absolutely. Fuck yes,” William breathed.

For the first time in a while, the loneliness crushing Reggie started to lighten. He knew his bandmates would start to notice, he knew Alex at least was confused about why the fuck he’d started watching hockey, but for the time being, William was his.

It wasn’t a secret really, not a dirty one. But Reggie shared almost everything, and he wanted something for himself. For once. With a happy sigh, he walked over to his bed and flopped down, smiling widely when one last text came in.

I can’t wait

#reggie x oc #reggie peters #reggie julie and the phantoms #bi reggie #idk you yet series #julie and the phantoms

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amplesalty · 3 years

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Halloween 2021 - Day 5 - The Invisible Ray (1936)

Doesn’t that just sound like a bad magician? “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing...The Invisible Ray!”

Ah, this takes me back. Back in year 0 of this horror marathon business, before this blog was a thing, it was kinda heavily skewed towards the ‘classic’ period; Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy..all that Universal 1930’s type stuff. Amongst that first run were a pair of films starring both KARLOFF and Bela Lugosi; The Black Cat and The Raven. I remember them both being quite good, both having this sort of rivalry between their two characters. The Black Cat moreso with a young couple caught in the middle of a heated feud between KARLOFF and Lugosi’s characters. Whereas The Raven has KARLOFF as more of a de-facto good guy as he plays a reluctant henchman to Lugosi’s character. Not that that level of power translated off screen, with Lugosi’s star beginning to fade but I remember reading something about KARLOFF insisting on some parity in pay between the two in one of their movies when the studio tried to lowball Lugosi so good on you, KARLOFF.

Neither have much to do with the Edgar Allan Poe stories they take their names from, outside of Lugosi’s character in The Raven having an obsession with Poe and adapting various means of torture from Poe stories. There have been plenty of Poe adaptations throughout the years but the other big uptick in them was in the 1960’s with a series of films directed by Roger Corman, often starring Vincent Price but with other big names sprinkled in like KARLOFF, Peter Lorre and Lon Chaney Jr. Plus a relatively early Jack Nicholson appearance in The Raven, which was shot at the same time as The Terror. That bloody bird!

So, yeah, it’s good to see one of these KARLOFF/Lugosi films again. Apparently there are eight films that featured both of them so I’ll be halfway there now on them. This also has Carl Laemmle Jr’s name attached, albeit in a minor way as he’s listed as ‘presenting’ the movie. I’m not sure if that ever means anything. It’s like when Tarantino ‘presents’ something, did he have any actual input on the film or was he just shining a light on something he personally liked because he has so much power and influence?

The movie’s foreword is an early indicator of the more science-fiction leaning nature of the movie which catches you off guard a little with the people involved and the timeframe we’re working in. Feels like the 50’s was more when the whole sci-fi thing took off. Also, since when was science a verb?

Certainly has the feel of that classic ‘old, dark house’ horror thing early on as we start with the Rukh household awaiting the arrival of some of Dr Janos Rukh’s (KARLOFF) peers who are to bear witness to his new discovery.

KARLOFF has clearly been eating his crusts to get curls like that, normally he’s a slicked back kind of guy. And it’s kinda weird seeing both of them with facial hair. Oddly though this is one of the rare times that Lugosi plays a good guy, this is a clear violation of the parallel universe protocol:

Normal universe – clean shaven – good guy Parallel universe – goatee – evil

This early version of Dr. Doom is a bit naff. Are you making a great scientific discovery here or doing a spot of welding?

Apparently Dr Rukh’s invention is a telescope that is able to see into the deepest reaches of space, but can also pick up on vibrations left by the events that have taken place and he can then project that as a moving image that shows an asteroid crashing to Earth millions of years ago that can help him pinpoint the crash site and allow him to discover new elements inside the asteroid...wait, what?! Is this like that time on CSI when they solved a murder by getting sound out of something someone made in pottery class because the grooves could be played like a vinyl?

We then pivot sharply into the great plains of Africa where our team have set off in search of what will become known as ‘Radium X’. Oh yes, I think that’s on the periodic table next to Hardtoobtainium. And I’m specifically trying to avoid animal cruelty by not watching Cannibal Holocaust, don’t come around here with your dead leopards and talk of how many rhinos you’ve shot. I must say I’m a little wary of this sudden introduction of all these natives carrying spears and wearing bone necklaces, I just don’t feel like I can trust a movie made in the 1930’s to be sensitive on it’s portrayal of other cultures.

Thought it does present us with the best actor in this picture, look at those bug eyes! He’s like Africa’s answer to Marty Feldman.

And that’s just his reaction to a piece of scanning equipment going off, him and his mates are definitely going to be worried when this white devil makes a demonstration of his new found Radium X and it’s ability to melt pure stone. Looks like a portajohn backing up...

He then promptly turns his cosmic ray gun on all the locals when they tell him they want to go home. Sure, you can leave, you’re not going to get very far though. Dude, there’s like 12 of you and he’s given some of you rifles. Just jump him when he’s asleep.

Dr. Rukh finds that evening that he’s suddenly turned an interesting shade of neon yellow and can be seen by anyone in a three mile radius so either this Radium X is highly poisonous or Rukh has been running in opposition to Vladimir Putin. This poisoning leaves him so irradiated that merely touching another living thing is enough to kill it. Dr. Benet (Lugosi) is able to make a serum for him but can never truly cure him, he must regularly take this serum or otherwise he will revert to this killing machine type state.

But, in his eagerness to not spread this poison to his wife, and his general upholding of the man code to never air ones medical problems, he generally acts a bit surly and tells her to piss off which see views as him not loving her anymore so he promptly shacks up with the young explorer type who came with them to Africa. Worse yet, Benet and crew have taken a sample of Radium X to show at a scientific conference in Paris. Between losing his missus and thinking that other people are taking all the credit for his work, Rukh is just slightly annoyed.

It’s not all bad though, he is able to use this new element to cure his mother’s blindness. I like how his first reaction upon learning that Radium X has irrecoverably changed his life, leaving him one missed injection away from imminent death, is to shoot it directly into his mother’s face.

“Patients won’t like being shot in the face.” “They’ll like what I tell them to like.”

Whilst sulking outside of the church that his ex is getting re-married in, he spots a series of statues of saintly figures and imagines them representing each of the 6 people on the African expedition, vowing to destroy each of them until only he is left. Marvelous invention this Radium X, it can melt statues and cure blindness. Do you have to put special filters on that ray gun of yours depending on the situation? That’s a malpractice suit waiting to happen if you mix those up.

Dr. Benet is a little suspicious when one of their party dies suddenly for no explainable reason so takes a few ultraviolet photos of the victims eyes in order to study. And wouldn’t you know what he finds?

Bullshit! Nevermind the ultraviolet camera, this is more like the dues ex machine camera. I know this is science fiction and all but what is this, 1936 or 2036? Or maybe they’re just able to make the most detailed contact lenses known to man.

Eventually, when Rukh finds himself unable bring himself to kill his former love, he is confronted by his mother who smashes the serum and condemns him to death as, going unchecked, the Radium X within him will destroy his body. Sensing the end coming, Dr. Rukh dives out of the nearest window and promptly erupts bursts into flames, now left as little but a pile of ash on a damp Paris street. It’s a shame really, dozens of people spontaneously combust every year, it’s just not widely reported.”

This one was okay, definitely a different vibe compared to other Universal stuff at the time with all the science fiction and Africa based stuff but it does still travel down that ‘descent into madness’ thing that they often fall back on and it’s always fun to see KARLOFF and Lugosi, especially when they’re together. But, if we’re strictly talking about the KARLOFF/Lugosi pairing, I’m definitely leaning towards one of their other outings like Black Cat, Raven or Son of Frankenstein. There’s just something not right about Lugosi playing some normal, if he’s not being unhinged then you’re not really getting what you came here for.

#Halloween 2021 #The invisible Ray #KARLOFF #Bela Lugosi

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gothamsglam · 3 years

Text

How Wonder-land-a-ful!

Transferring to SHIELD high did many things for Tony, one of them was reuniting him with James Rhodes. Just not how he wanted to.

Ever After High/Marvel Fusion. Ironhusbands, of course. (You don't have to know much about Ever After High to read this, think just some fairy tale AU and you'll be fine!)

AO3 LINK IN NOTES

I wanted to churn out one more story for the end of 2020, I thought something more silly would be a great way to end this uh year.

This idea has stuck with me for a while, and I finally wrote it.

Hope you enjoy!!!

~Vix

SHIELD High was so bland . Yes, it was grand of course, structured like the classically large fairy-tale castles of Ever After. The hallways were marble with lockers and vines lining the walls and trees and plants growing willy nilly around the school. Chandeliers hung from the high ceilings, and large arched windows showed off the beauty of the lands around them. In the distance, Tony swears he can see Sleeping Beauty’s castle.

But SHIELD high was just bland in comparison to home. To Wonderland . Not even the personalized dorms could make up for the fact that school was all year long— ew , who made that rule—instead of one day a year. Tony missed the nonsensical beauty of SI High, where the hallways ran instead of you, where you had to find the paintbrushes in passing period to paint the doors—free art credits!—, and the cafeteria that was switched with the auditorium.

But the castle-teria at SHIELD was just a long hall with rows and rows of marvel benches, pillars in the corners to honor the greek storylines and pay tribute to the last generation of Fairytale legends.

It was so boring. And just looking at it made Tony want to *poof* right there and then.

“Hi Tony,” Steve Rogers asked, coming behind him in the castle-teria, “Need a place to sit?”

Oh and this, this was another thing Tony wasn’t fond of. Transferring to SHIELD high meant he actually was walking among the children of fairy tale legend. Disgusting.

Father was too fond of them, far too fond of them. Back when Wonderland and Ever After had many open portals between one another—back before the curse on Wonderland by the Evil Queen of the HYDRA family. Howard was an ambassador , the git.

Howard didn’t get the White Rabbit legacy as Tony did, no, Uncle Jarvis had. Howard was a part of the Wakandan court, one of many peace ambassadors to the other royal families, particularly the ones in Ever After. Oh, the tales Tony was told as a young bunny, of the Rogers Family’s legacy brought forth by the apple, of the Red Hooded Romanoffs, and the Rose pricked Wilsons.

Tony was glad he didn’t have to walk among them at SI High, he was content to only have to see them in the crowd at Legacy day. Tony was actually really excited for Legacy day, his own legacy wasn’t following his father, but rather his mother and Uncle Jarvis. Signing his page in the Storybook of Legends was a milestone Tony didn’t mind looking forward to.

However Tony also understood why James Barnes, heir to the Evil Queen, wouldn’t want to sign. To each their own, he supposes.

But ugh, SHIELD high had too many Princes, he hated it.

His nose twitching, Tony ducked away from Rogers—who was bigger, blonder, and oh the clocks was that a red crown on his stupid head? “Thanks, but no thanks, golden boy. I’ll just—uh—”

He looked out at the rows and rows of tables, at the heads of up-dos and flower pins, and the sea of gelled down curls and impeccable sleeves. Seriously how does no one have a stain on their shirt? It’s mud-loaf day!

There! Out in the crowd, a hand popped out waving him over, Tony grinned, popping up a bit and rushing away from the other guy, “See ya, Rogers!”

“Bye…?”

Resisting the urge to stick out his tongue, Tony padded away with swift steps, the click of his shoes drowned out by the noise of the castle-teria. Reaching the table in the back, he grinned at the sight of familiar friends.

He wasn’t the only one apart of the exchange program of course, in fact, he was the second wave of students, prepared by letters sent by the other students. Tony had his own assigned group of the next exchange student. A lovely little trio of kids. Peter would not stop asking about the royal classes offered at SHIELD and MJ was more interesting in the classes offered by Maria Hill. Tony wouldn’t know, of course, he switched out of those classes the second day after running into pig shit mid-chase. For a house on chicken legs, it was surprisingly very fast.

Virginia ‘Pepper’ Potts was donned in swirls of light peach and blue with subtle armor around her waist and shoulders. Her hair was curled, pinned away from her face in a half updo, with the rest falling around her and nearly touching the table as she leaned in to pat the now empty spot across from her.

“Tony!” She exclaimed, freckles dancing across her face as she broke out into a smile, “got lost?” She teased.

Tony blew a raspberry, “Pssht, no, How could I get lost here? Wonderland was more interesting, this place is just boring,” he waved, twirling his fork in his food.

T’challa laughed, the matte gold detailing on his black jacket catching the light beans from the windows, it covered his purple and black card-like patterned dress shirt “That’s what you think, Stark. But with everything looking the same, you’ll pass by the same five classrooms over and over without noticing.”

Tony also laughed, “True. Remember, how—when you missed the upside-down sidewalk outside of bio-mechanics—you could end up in fishing class because of the fountain step? Every time the freshmen would come in dripping halfway through class.”

“Oh, does everyone still call them fish?” Sharon asked, pulling out Earl the dormouse from her empty teacup. He hopped up her shoulder to hide in her mini top hat. Her suit jacket was draped over her shoulders—rather than it being on the bench—and her cream shirt had mini hats detailed, blending in with the folds as it was only a few shades darker.

“Classically,” Tony replied with a wink. They turned back to their conversations, gossiping about their peers such as Maximoff—from Cinderella’s line—who was enamored with Vision—from the hunter’s line. Scandalous.

Tony halfheartedly listened to the discussion but was really on the verge of nodding off. His roommate—Justin Hammer, stupid son of the Cheshire cat—kept playing pranks on him and ruining his things with paint bombs. He almost got a fairy fail in physics because his latest essay had swamp goop over it! He had to stay up rewriting it, which wouldn’t be a problem normally but he had stayed up trying to make weld a new type of gear for his pet project.

Tony must have dozed off for a bit, because when he blinked open his eyes, he was resting on his elbows, folded under some familiar fabric. Blinking blearily at the side of his tray, Tony sat up. Well, that’s embarrassing, so much for his reputation. Pushing a hand through his hair, he avoided glancing around and instead went to look at his lap and pull out his pocket watch. However, someone else reached out to poke his side, resulting in a leap and an ‘eep!’.

“Hey there, sleeping beauty!” Rhodey smirked at him, “I think you and Wilson were supposed to have each other’s destinies. That was some impression you were doing.”

Damn him, Damn it all. Of course , Tony would fall asleep right then and there, drooling over his arms in front of James Rhodes . Of course the first time he’d see the precious son of the Alice bloodline—after literal years in different worlds—would be when he’s conked out in front of his dripping mashed potato tray in the flipping Greek castle-teria. Unbelievable, Tony.

And Rhodes— Rhodey —has the literal audacity to sit there with a playful smirk on his face. Sit there in his v-neck— v-neck!!! —map patterned shirt that should make him look like a dork but he doesn’t , and a necklace that dips over his collarbone —and oh stars —his hair .

Tony really should say something, “Uh—Hi, honey bear?” His voice cracks, because of course, it does.

“Hi, Tones,” Rhodey replies with a smile, and it’s dazzling . Tony just might scream.

Everything is muted, he couldn’t tell you if Pepper and Sharon were still talking, if T’challa had left the table or if lunch was even over. It feels like, for a brief moment, there’s only Rhodey.

Rhodey, who’s turning around to address someone else. Tony also looks away, trying to keep his ears from burning up and turning red.

“Tony, were you drawing in your mash potatoes?” Rhodey looks over, pressing slightly against Tony to peer over at his tray.

Which prompts Tony to dart out and pull the tray towards him with a, “Nooooo?”

Rhodes looks back at him, raising an eyebrow, “Really?”

“Maybe~?”

That prompted a laugh out of him, gaining the attention of Pepper sitting a bit away from them. “Oh, Tony’s still doing that? I thought that was only a Wonderland thing.”

“Hey!” Tony wrinkled his nose and glared at her, silently grateful at the fact that pulled him out of mentally gaping like a fish at his best friend—are they even best friends anymore? Rhodey probably has like a billion of them at SHIELD. “I can do it anywhere. It’s called art.”

“You wouldn’t know art if it slapped you in the face.”

Tony opened his mouth, literally about to say, ‘I mean if Rhodey slapped me in the face I would say he’s art.’ before he’s stopped by the one jellybean of a brain cell in the back of his mind.

Well that and Rhodey’s “If anyone can bring wonder with them to SHIELD, it would be Tony.”

Which, oKAY , Tony needs to stop exploding inwardly and actually say something, “Um, speaking of wonder, does anyone know anything about that one well myth?”

“The well of wonder?” Sharon asked, polling her hand from her mouth where she was probably stifling giggles, which rude, ok.

T’challa also answered, “I believe I might be of help. Why are you asking Tony?”

Tony darted a look at Rhodey—he can’t see his face because he’s looking at T’challa, but he swears that under the table his fist clenches. Weird—before looking at T’challa, “It’s a surprise,” He winked.

And it was! But for Rhodey. He was supposed to have it done pre-meeting him at lunch, but thanks to Hammer he missed his mental deadlines. It wasn’t like he had sought out Natasha Romanoff beforehand to ask about James’ schedule so he could know when they had lunch together or anything, absolutely not.

See—back when in Wonderland—, Tony and Rhodey would galavant about, exploring the lands and falling down many rabbit holes, quite literally. Tony remembers how in his workshop, Rhodey would always love seeing Tony design the swords and spears for the Wonderland card-guards—the Dora Milaje. However what Tony specialized in was watch-making, specifically enchanted watches. Watches with personality, with faces that weren’t just hands and numbers or mini mirror-pods, but near people like. Pixel-faires born of Tony’s creation. DUM-E was his first.

‘You’ was meant for Rhodey, he’d been making them ever since he heard he was chosen for the second era of exchange students. It really shouldn’t have taken so long, but without the wonder of Wonderland and his workshop, it was harder.

So when he heard about the well of wonder, the last remain flow between the two worlds, he knew he had to find it. Too bad it disappeared every night, popping up all over Ever After.

“It would be best to go with someone Tony,” Sharon said, “The well likes to frequent the forest.”

“I could go with you!” Rhodey exclaimed, well not exclaimed, that was just Tony projecting. Mostly... Maybe? No, probably.

“Really?” Tony asked, “You don’t—?”

“It’s my free period anyway," Rhodey shrugged, “Besides you’re already using my jacket, so now you can wear it in the forest too!”

“I—” Tony looks back at the table, and oh.

Oh , that’s what he was sleeping on.

T’challa mentioned stopping by their—his and Rhodey’s—dorm so they can get directions. There’s more regaling of the well, and mentions of seeing Bruce Banner and Thor frequenting the area, which ooo? But all Tony really remembers is seeing Rhodey reaching over, draping his jacket over Tony’s shoulder.

“It’s a date,” Rhodey grinned with a dazzling smile.

~FIN~

So do you like who is who? I didn't recast everyone, but I might continue this AU so maybe I will later down the line! Please let me know what you think in the comments and leave a kudo too! Love you all!!!

#tony stark #tony stark fic #ironhusbands #ironhusbands fic #tonyrhodey #tonyrhodey fic #tony stark x james rhodes #james rhodey rhodes #james rhodes #fanfiction #marvel/ever after high fusion #ever after high #marvel #mcu #vix writes #my writing #long lost #link post

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shiftysdogtags · 4 years

Text

I Knew You

I based this off Taylor Swifts song ‘cardigan’. When i heard the song i immediately thought Joe Liebgott and i seen this story play out and i knew i had to write it. I’m not 100% happy with it and i know no one asked for it but here it is anyway.

Warnings: passing mentions of drinking and being drunk. Slight swearing. Also my terrible writting✌🏻

If you listen closely you can hear my heart breaking in the distance. And a big thank you to @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant for the teddy bear idea and the title.

Taglist: @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @floydtab

Headcanons and ships for the pacific and band of brothers are open

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I knew you

Dancin’ in your Levi’s

Drunk under a streetlight

Joe didn’t let many people get too close to him. Very few people knew the real him, they just seen the person he wanted them to see. He was soft and delicate. Not delicate like a flower, delicate like a grenade with the pin removed. One wrong move and he could blow up. It was because of this people avoided him. He was blunt and rough around the edges. Maybe he was standoffish too, but he was my Joe and nobody knew him better than i did.

“Joe, get off the street” i tried pulling him onto the path.

I would love for Joe to show people this side of him, slightly drunk and giddy. He was swinging from a street lamp and dodging cars that tried to beep him out of the way. Although i tried to be serious, the more he swung around the dizzier he became, making me laugh. All i had to do was pull him twenty feet to the right and he would be inside my house and safe.

Joe stumbled in my direction and pulled on my hand “Dance with me, Doll”

No matter how much i objected and stated that i had two left feet he persisted. It wasn’t dancing exactly but the way he held my hand gave me butterflies. The sound of his laugh when he threw his head back was enough to put me in a trance and i swore if that was the last sound i ever heard it wouldn’t ask for anything more.

Joe made me feel careless and brave. With him my by side i was afraid of nothing, as if i could do anything i dreamed of. I found fearlessness somewhere in side of me and it was all thanks to him.

It wasn’t until he spun me i realised i was also tipsy. Slightly light headed, he pulled me to his chest with a kiss to my temple. A car stopped, catching us in the headlights and i decided it was time to go inside. Trying to pull Joe towards the house again he stumbled over his feet but, i somehow managed to get him to the spare room and into bed.

He was almost half asleep and i pressed my lips to his forehead. “Night, Joey”

I knew you

Playing hide-and-seek and

Giving me your weekends

Joe and i kept each other a secret. Although people knew we were friends, they didn’t know the true or full extend of our relationship. Relationship, if it could even be classified as that. On a normal day we would be polite and only acknowledge each other if really needed. Our days off were spent together doing anything and everything. I learned about Joe and who he really was by just sitting around and listening.

“Do you think stuffed bears have feelings?“ he asked me, lying on the sitting room floor counting the cracks in the ceiling. He had one arm under his head and the other was holding a bear i found in my mothers attic amongst my old childhood toys.

Of course i laughed and i though how out of character it was for Joe to ask something like that. We were hidden from view, the curtains were closed and no one could ruin the time we got to be alone together. The Joe i knew was softer and more vulnerable than he would like to admit. Opening the curtains would be like him confessing the fragility of his emotions and letting people into his life. They would be kept closed and the world would be none the wiser of his feelings or his closeness to me in that moment.

Watching him investigating the bear i realised how few people saw this side of Joe. I loved being one of the only few, if not the only person, he acted like this with. He pulled on a loose thread and a hole formed. He looked wide eyed at me with an apologetic face. It wasn’t until he heard my laugh did he join in too. With anyone else he would have brushed it off but he was afraid to hurt me.

“I think you hurt his feelings” i said nodding to the bear. He laughed louder and threw the bear at me.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars

Was all we needed

Joe used to drive around for hours with me in the passenger seat changing the radio. He would pick me up after work in the diner downtown. After a long day he would tell me i needed to loosen up and go on an adventure with him.

“Come on Y/N, have a little fun once in a while” he said with a little smirk and that was all that was needed to convince me. That smirk on his face made me feel like i was selling my soul to the Devil.

With no destination in mind we normally ended up parking the car beside the bay. When we were together we didn’t need material things or to be doing anything specifically, all we needed was each other. All of our major firsts happened here. The first time we kissed was eating ice cream a few months after Joe got back from Europe. The first time he mentioned the war and what he experienced happened at the bay.

It was here on a chilly Autumn night i realised i was in love with Joe. We sat on the car bonnet sharing a blanket as we watched the car headlights dance across the bridge. He was warmer than me, always had been. With my head on his shoulder and his lips in my hair i hoped he felt the same way.

There was never supposed to be anything romantic about our rendezvous, but i couldn’t help but hope. The bay had seen the same amount of kisses shared between us as cars that crossed the bridge.

I knew you

Tried to change the ending

Peter losing Wendy

I knew nothing good would come of this. The ending was clear before anything had even begun. The second i met him everything played out like a dream in front of me. Heartbreak was the only possible outcome and vivid hallucinations danced in front of me, almost real enough to touch. But when i reached out my hand they were gone just as fast as they came, disappeared in a cloud of smoke

“We’re just friends and you know it” Joe stated, cigarette hanging from his lips

“Thats bullshit, Joe.”

My emotions got the better of me and ignoring the warning signs, i let them. Despite all this i had hoped, really hoped that i could somehow change it. Joe was Joe and he did what he wanted when he wanted. I knew i was delusional to believe i had the power to change anything, let alone a strong willed person like Joe. He refused to grow up, constantly acting childish and never committing to anything for a significant amount of time. People around him were play things that he singled out to suit his specific needs. He dropped them like toys and picked them back up again when he was bored.

“Can you honestly sit there and tell me there are no feelings between us?” I begged him for an answer. “Do you feel anything for me? Anything at all?”

No answer was given, just a simple shrug of his shoulders. If my heart wasn’t broken before it certainly was then. He couldn’t look at me, focusing his eyes over the steering wheel and watching the rain fall against the windscreen.

“I can’t do this anymore” Getting out of his car i slammed the door closed and ran across the street into my house. Even though the distance was short i was soaked and my clothes felt heavy on my skin as did Joe’s words, or lack of words, did on my heart.

That boy had me wrapped around his little finger. Like a puppet on a string, Joe pulled me left and right. He had me where he wanted me. Believing that having something more than a fling with Joe was a fantasy. Being with him was like playing make believe. He makes my head spin and his voice fogs my judgement. It was time to come back to reality. It was time for me to grow up, with or without him. I wanted to forget him.

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

‘Cause I knew everything when I was young

It was while making coffee the next morning i realised tying to forget someone like Joe is near damn impossible. Every detail about about him lingers in my mind, his name constantly on the tip of my tongue. The shape of his lips are imprinted onto mine and i will never forget how they felt. The spark when his deep brown eyes met mine is always embedded deep in my heart where no one else can reach. His touch is eternally burned onto my skin, forever part of me. I knew i would never really be able to untangle Joe from my life. It was hard to know where he ended and i began.

The coffee machine was done and i took my favourite mug from it’s place in the press. Of course it was positioned next to the mug Joe usually used. I noticed the coffee stains on the edges. I’m sure if i looked closely enough i would see transcripts of all the late night conversations shared between us. They were never really serious, only ridiculous ‘what if’ scenarios, but it made me wonder. What if i never met Joe? What if he never smiled at me the way he did? What if we never had that fight? How many washes would it take to get the smell of him and his smokes out of my clothes?

Everything blended into one and i couldn’t remember a time in my life when Joe wasn’t part of it. It was impossible to know what parts of my life actually belonged to me and not him. Pictures float in front of me, reminding me of our time together. No matter how hard i tried to forget, each memory will be forever burned into my heart.

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time

Chasin’ shadows in the grocery line

No matter where i went a memory of Joe played like a movie in front of me. It was like an outer body experience, as if i was watching from afar. Shadows danced in the store aisle, distracting me. I only noticed the cashier was ready for me when the man behind me cleared his throat. Apologising, i quickly placed my few items and thanked the girl quickly leaving the store.

When i reached my car i realised all my thoughts were consumed with Joe. He haunted my memories and my past. Flashbacks came daily in the most random of places. Every inch of our home town crawled with the sound of his voice and each street screamed him name tauntingly at me.

Starting the car, i made my way home while desperately trying to avoid any streets where i shared moments with Joe. It was impossible. Every street contained a different story and a different memory. The streetlight outside my house is the one i danced with Joe under. He was everywhere and unavoidable.

He ruined me in all the best ways. Joe stripped me back to the basics and built me up again in ways i can’t describe. Before Joe life was boring and grey. Now, it is full of colour and new sounds i wouldn’t have experienced without him. He turned everything i knew upside down. The vitality in everything we did together will always be etched into me. It has made me a different person and for that i can’t be anything but thankful towards him.

I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired

And you’d be standin’ in my front porch light

I missed him, more than anything. Two months later i still missed him and I have never felt so alone. Even when Joe left to join the paratroopers i never felt this lonely. Somehow the thought of having him in the same town but not as my friend was worse than him never coming home. That was such a terrible thought but it’s how i felt.

The thunderstorm outside reminded me of the night i fought with Joe. The rain beating against the window made it feel less lonely. It created a sound displacing the constant silence that surrounded the house now Joe wasn’t around. Picking up the stuffed bear he once made fun of i smiled before i threw it across the room. He was everywhere.

I almost missed the banging noise against the front door. Cautiously walking to the window to see who it was because who in their right mind would be out in weather like that. The last thing i expected to see was Joe standing on my front porch knocking at my door. I deliberated for a moment whether to let him in. Could i leave him outside and hope he would leave, or should i let him in and wreck the little progress i have made in forgetting him?

I chose the latter, grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch. After opening the door he stood there not saying a word. He didn’t come in straight away and i watched the raindrops fall from his face in the light. He looked exhausted like he hadn’t slept in days. I handed him the blanket and he followed me in placing it around his shoulders.

He said nothing, he just smirked. “Hey Doll”

And I knew you’d come back to me

#band of brothers x reader #joe liebgott x reader #band of brothers imagine #joe liebgott imagine #bob imagine #bob x reader #band of brothers imagines #Joe Liebgott imagines #joseph liebgott imagine #joe liebgott #Spotify

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youngbugandtonystank · 5 years

Note

If you can, do some more of the facial and body language analysis posts because they're soooo good, I love them and your blog 💕

Hi, I’m sorry for the long wait!

This must be the hardest analysis yet. I cried three times writing this, so I’m sharing my pain with you.

1. Peter is a kid.

2. Tony and Peter are a team.

3. He’s traumatized.

Ok, the first thing you gotta understand about Peter Parker in these movies: he is a kid.

No matter how much you want him to act all grown up and capable, he’s a kid. A very brave kid. Throughout the movie, Peter remains calm and collected because he really wants to help and he understands the gravity of the situation. Bear in my mind this kid is not acting because someone gave him orders but because they informed him what’s going on. He knows that they need to take the gauntlet off, he knows Thanos is dangerous and this could be the complete demise of not only his neighboorhood but the entire earth. We all know that at the end of the movie, Peter shows just how scared he was all the time.

‘You can't be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man...if there's no neighborhood.’

The minute he realizes that there’s trouble, he goes and helps.

It’s been two years since Homecoming (it was confirmed that the time gap between HOCO and IW was two years even if Peter says he’s 16 in FFH. This could possibly be a mistake since not many people knew much about IW and Endgame back then. Also, in HOCO there was a similar mistake with the timeline. "Eight years later") Peter’s been spiderman for almost three years and he knows how to control and work his powers better. He probably trained with Tony and he has now more experience with all the superhero thing.

Now, Peter is his very own independent hero, he has his story but some people think that everything about him revolves around Tony and I’ve said it before, in my HOCO analysis that the reason people think this is because Tony Stark is a very big presence in the MCU and it’s easy to overlook the other details about Peter’s life when someone that big is also there too. But, any fan who really loves Spiderman knows that Peter’s journey is about growth. It’s about sacrifice. It’s about responsibility. It’s about him finding his way into this world and surviving it. It’s about him protecting the little guy because he is the little kid in a big world like his. His attachment to Tony has more to do with the fact that he wants a male figure in his life, one that is alive. He wants the comfort, the safety and the support that comes with it. A teenage wanting those things is not out of the ordinary. He’s allowed to have more than one paternal figure in his life. Don’t constraint Peter just because you don’t like Tony Stark.

And Peter himself confirms this:

‘Peter knew he should feel all these things -help other people, being responsible inthe hero business- without Tony’s approval. But, right now, Peter wanted Mr. Stark to approve of him more than anything.’

‘Mr. Stark made him feel normal and okay. Something he thought he’d never feel again.’

Something very interesting to me was how both Tony and Peter reacted the same way when the aliens came. Tony was internally panicking and said to Bruce: ‘This is it.’ And in the IW novelization, the moment Peter saw the space ship he said to himself: ‘This was it. He had to do something.’

Something that I just love about this is how much they know each other too well. Tony knows Peter is stubborn and he won’t give up easily. Tony told him that Strange ‘The wizard’ was in trouble and Peter went after Maw and didn’t let go even if he was getting dragged up to space, so he did what he usually did when Peter was being difficult. Force him back to earth. And Peter? He cooperates with him so well, he calculates his mentor’s next moves and goes along with it. They’re a team. They have worked together before. Two years of working together. Look at the coordination, how they flawlessly work together. They’ve done this before. How Tony just informs Peter what’s going on instead of yelling and panicking. He understands Peter is pretty capable of defending himself.

Later, they demonstrate this again with this:

Peter is capable of thinking of a solution because this kid, no matter how many pop culture references, is a genius and will be a great strategist in the future and Tony knows this. He left EDITH to Peter for these reasons.

This is routine for them. Tony makes this a teachable lesson. lol. ‘Come on. We got a situation. See him down there? He's in trouble. What's your plan?’

He’s a dad, forgive him.

I love how they just bicker while Strange is getting tortured down there lmao.

This part only solidifies their relationship. Look at Peter looks so done and disappointed because this is the same argument Tony gives him when he’s in danger. Tony may trust Peter but his safety always comes first and Peter knows this. Look at him:

He takes in the situation and even if he can come back to earth and fight the other aliens there, he won’t leave Tony. I want to clarify that the reason Peter is in space is because 1. He wants to fight. He wants to help. He’s said it before, if he has the chance to help, he'll do it. He’s spiderman and is his responsibility to help if he can. This is the essence of Spiderman.

‘When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.’

2. Tony. He’s a loyal kid and he loves his mentor. People regularly point out Tony’s fear of losing Peter but Peter is just equally scared of losing Tony.

‘speaking of loyalty...’ ‘I just thought about you on the way...and kinda stuck to the side of the ship.’

So he fights Tony on this. He won’t let him not participate. He already lost Ben, he won’t lose Tony. He knows this is a dangerous situation, he wants to protect his people. He feels responsible for them and he’ll fight to do the right thing.

Another thing is how much Peter trusts Tony. He knows and is so sure that Tony will keep him safe, no matter what. This is because Tony has proved this before. Multiple times. He knows he’s Tony’s priority even if the world is practically ending.

‘He wanted him away from all of Tony’s complicated feelings around caring about this kid way too much to focus on the task at hand.’

‘Tony had to keep himself calm and not think back to mere seconds ago when that terror had been his own, directly connected to the possibility of losing Peter Parker.’

‘Tony had only continued onto the ship because he felt certain that he’d gotten Peter safely out of harm’s way. With Peter here, very much IN harm’s way, would he be able to fully concentrate on the task at hand?’

‘They were about to take on the greatest enemy they’d ever faced. This was an enemy that had haunted Tony for six years. An enemy that threatened to wipe out half of the universe, untold trillions of beings with the snap of his fingers. He had a wide-eyed kid he had to protect’

‘Is this… oh, no… is this how it feels? To be on the other end of this? He owed Pepper an apology. He owed Pepper a lot of apologies.’

I love how Tony is comparing Pepper’s love for him with his own love for Peter. This not only tells you Peter is part of his family but just as Endgame confirms it, Peter is one of the few people he loves the most in the world.

Later, when the guardians attack, look at how Peter stays put, he could easily get himself out of Quill’s grip but he doesn’t, he lets Tony handle the situation.

Makes me wonder how many times they’ve been in this situation. Homecoming!Peter would’ve done something very reckless. He would’ve risked his life or someone else's but this is a 17-year-old kid who’s had Tony as his mentor, he’s had May to think about and he won’t let Ben down.

Also, the non-verbal communication between them is very telling. How the glances, the trust and the way they fight tells us how much they mean to each other. How he always looks at Tony for his reaction and how both of them are in synch with everything.

Now, let’s talk about this kid’s bravery in this film. Look at him, this is peak bravery. This kid is kicking one of the most terrifying and powerful titans on the universe.

Even if I loved FFH, I think they shouldn’t have skipped the part where Peter dwells with the repercussions of his trauma. They should’ve focused on Peter’s traumas and experiences after passing through all of this.

Look at this, you do really believe this kid wouldn’t have nightmares of this monster? He probably sees his face in every nightmare. This titan killed Tony. This titan killed him and half of the universe. He threw him around like a rag doll, chocked him and slammed him against the ground.

One of the most heartbreaking things is that Mysterio is right about what he said to Peter. ‘Maybe if you were good enough, Tony would still be alive’ Peter feels responsible. He does. Remember how Peter was a big part in securing the gauntlet? He took the gauntlet off Thanos. He actually did it. He took it off. For Peter, there were pretty close. That was it. He doesn’t know what Strange knows, Strange must’ve seen in all of the millions of possibilities he saw that even if Peter took the gauntlet off, Thanos would still win. But Peter doesn’t know this. He thinks he almost got it.

When he came back, he was one of the people who went after the gauntlet to protect it. He took it because he felt like this was his responsibility before waking up and now he’s trying to amend that by taking care of it. Thanos started blowing people off with lasers and Peter still held the gauntlet like it was his lifeline.

He feels like he failed. The person who used the gauntlet, later on, is his mentor.

Of course he feels like he failed. He feels responsible for Tony’s death even if he’s not.

‘I don't think Tony would have done what he did, if he didn't know you were going to be here after he was gone.’

He knows that Tony practically did it for him. Tony is a hero and he would’ve done that regardless but the motivation behind all of it, it was Peter. Always Peter.

‘Tony second-guessed everything he did. But the one thing he didn't second guess was picking you.’

It’s natural that Peter feels responsible. Look at the catatonic way he behaves after the horrible experience. He’s still in shock.

Peter is the kind of kid that stands tall and bounces back up when the situation demands it but he’s also the kind of kid that wants to introduce himself to a magical cape and walk ladies across the street.

Look at him: This kid is scared but his bravery doesn’t let him hesitate. He knows what’s right and he knows in his heart, what he needs to do.

This is the kind of kid that would go to war with his mentor, stay on the space ship to save one person, come back from being dead and fight all over again.

Now, this is the most painful part and I almost wanted to skip it because... I’m still not over it and I never will. I still think Tony deserved a different ending.

So first Tony witness one of his biggest nightmares. Peter dying. Peter, for the first time in this film, shows us just how scared he truly is. He sees how the others start fading and he feels his demise coming. It’s inevitable. So he thinks in the one thing he always thinks about when he’s in a place where he can’t save himself. He goes to Tony. He thinks Tony can save him. Tony always saved him so why would this time be different, right? He desperately clings to Tony and begs him to save him. He doesn’t want to die.

When he knows that there’s no other way, he gives up. This 17-year-old kid just gave up on his life and apologized for it. This just tells you how selfless Peter is. He’s dying and he’s concerned Tony is going to blame himself for his death.

Then, when he comes back, from Peter’s perspective, it’s only been a couple of hours or minutes but he doesn’t know he lost 5 years of his life. Imagine how traumatic it was for him when he realized he’s been dead for years.

He lets Tony hug him. He’s probably done this before. I refuse to believe this is their second hug after two years. Just because this hug is more emotionally charged doesn’t mean Peter didn’t get any affection from Tony before.

Then the terrible thing happens. He realizes his mentor is dying and tells him the thing no one else told him: ‘We won and you did it, sir.’

Tony did it and Peter is aware of this. He tells him it’s him, it’s Peter. It’s someone he trusts and knows. ‘Can you hear me?’ He clings to him and by the look on his face, Peter’s in pain. He passed through this once and now he’s doing it again. For Peter, this is history repeating and he feels like is his fault all over again.

He’s begging Tony to come back now. He’s watching his father figure die. This kid must be pretty messed up. I thought that after this he wouldn’t be capable of trusting people again but maybe FFH took another direction and showed us that nothing can corrupt Peter’s pure heart. Tony would’ve wanted him to stay pure. It’s just who he is, he always put others before himself.

In my perspective, I think Peter is not over Tony’s death. He’s not even halfway there. He’s still in denial, he’s still assimilating, he’s still going through it and it’s going to take some time.

Peter is one of the bravest kids out there and that alone should be a big reason to have mad respect for him. He has been through hell and back and he still comes out on top in every situation.

Tony is a big part of his life, and he is always going to be. Peter has Tony in his heart and his presence will still be on him the rest of life. He loves Tony and will always love him, whether you like it or not and if you want to be mad about this, stay mad. This is a fact and no matter how much whining you do, there’s nothing you can do to change that.

#tony stark #peter parker #Iron Man #spiderman #irondad #spiderson #avengers endgame #endgame #infinity war #avengers infinity war #robert downey jr #tom holland #mcu #marvel #ffh #far from home #homecoming

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green-eyed-whumpster · 3 years

Text

My OC Universe: Rowan 129

Chapter 129 Summary: Rowan gets told off by Peter for apologising and considers what he can do with his life once William is finally gone. (Tags: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi, @much-ado-about-whumping, @abitefullofeverything, @whump-me-all-night-long, @sky-or-something-idfk and @tears-and-lilies)

Trigger Warnings: Reference to previous abuse, PTSD whumpee

Rowan clutched the tea in his palms through a blanket, the heat seeping through the cloth welcome on his chilled fingers. Peter had brought in almost everything he used during the day: the books he was slowly reading and the notebooks he would scrawl in, his knitting needles and the length of scarf that was now longer than Rowan was tall, and even the chisels he was working away at the spoon with, he hadn’t done much since his hands were unbandaged from last time, he was very careful not to hurt himself again. Peter would preach how awful hand injuries were, and while Rowan didn’t want to worry him, he mainly didn’t want to have to listen to the lecture anymore.

“Thank you,” He smiled as his eyes followed the graceful movements.

“Don’t worry about it,” Peter replied, resting beside Rowan once everything was lined up on the windowsill. “You shouldn’t be alone in here for long, it would be torture.”

“It definitely wouldn’t be torture,” Rowan almost scoffed, imagining his weeks in the dungeon where his joints were dislocated and his skin was torn and his body ravaged.

“There’s more to torture than just hurting someone,” Peter answered. “If…if he tortured you physically then that was because your mind was already broken. For those who won’t submit, they generally try to break your mind, solitude will fracture it in no time at all.” He paused for a moment before his frown deepened. “And it will only be easier with a head as haunted as yours,”

“How do you know?” Rowan asked. “How would you know what torture is?” As he asked the sentence he heard the accusatory way it left his lips, but Peter only gave him a small, melancholy smile.

“I didn’t just, appear one day in the forest, Rowan, I had a life before you stumbled into my trap,”

“I-I didn’t mean-oh Gods, no, Peter I didn’t mean to –“

“It’s all right, Rowan,” Peter smiled, cupping his cheek gently. “I know that you don’t mean it that way. You remember that battle along the border? You would have barely been fifteen, William’s father was still alive then and since most of his army had been depleted from his most recent dispute with rebels, he called for an emergency conscription.” He explained, lowering his hands and resting them in his lap. “I was a part of the army for three years.” Rowan remembered the war, it was brief, but it was longer than three years. Peter was being generous with his assumption, Rowan was thirteen when it began, he heard it from a beneficiary he had at the time.

“Did they…torture you?” He asked nervously, he didn’t want to hear that someone had subjected Peter to the same agony he had survived.

“Not as bad as some,” Peter admitted. “The closest I got was when I was separated from my legion and a few patrolling enemy soldiers found me. They weren’t interested in prisoners so they, had a bit of fun, as they called it. Roughed me up a bit and left me for dead,” Rowan heard how nonchalant Peter’s voice was and felt a tremor of dread and shock run down his spine.

“They hurt you enough to almost kill you?” He exclaimed, looking at him in shock.

“It’s old pain,” Peter soothed. “And not the point of the story, I learnt of common techniques used by higher ranking officers during interrogations, and saw some of the results of them. But they never treated me that way.”

“Gods, I know nothing about you and you know every little thing about me!” Rowan gasped, covering his mouth as he turned his head down. “Oh, I’m so selfish!”

“That’s ridiculous!” Peter replied. “I don’t like to talk about myself, and you need to talk more than I do, so I’d rather let you speak. I know far more about you than you do about me because I chose to only ask about you. You are far too used to not being allowed to exist in your own right.” Rowan grumbled in dissent and shook his head softly.

“I still feel bad,”

“Rowan, you’re always going to feel bad!” Peter chuckled. “If it starts raining while I’m checking my traps you’d blame yourself!” He lifted Rowan’s head with his thumb and grinned at him. “If you stop apologising for things that aren’t your fault, I’ll tell you more about my life,” He bargained and Rowan nodded eagerly.

“All right! I’ll-I’ll try!” He promised and Peter smiled kindly.

“I know, I know you will.” He said, lowering his hand from Rowan’s chin.

“How are you able to care so much about someone when you’ve also been hurt?” Rowan asked seriously. “How could you risk letting me into your house without being sure I wouldn’t hurt you?”

“Why are you asking me this?” Peter wondered as Rowan dipped his head again.

“Well, I always thought that you were kind to me because you didn’t know. That you hadn’t, felt what it was like to be hurt by your own kind. I would have, if I found someone in my trap, I probably would have just, released them and told them to leave. I don’t know how you can bear spending so much energy to care for someone, who hasn’t done that much for you,” He admitted, his cheeks flushing with shame. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have assumed, but…”

“I understand,” Peter smiled. “It’s all right. I know what you mean.” He sighed heavily and looked away as he considered how to explain it. “After the war I found it hard to cope,” He admitted. “Everyone was always so worried about me and my wellbeing, granted I looked rather spectacular when I returned, and I didn’t feel that I deserved any of it. I isolated myself, out here, to escape the constant sympathy, when Cordelia came along she,” He paused for a moment and shook his head. “I won’t tell you any details until she gives her permission, but she wasn’t in any state to hurt me, and I liked helping her, it made me feel better about all the misplaced pity that people gave me.” He explained.

“I’m so –“ Rowan stopped himself from finishing his sentence and flushed as Peter began laughing again.

“Good job,” He grinned. “Keep it up and maybe I’ll tell you how I learnt the hard way to properly build a roof,” Rowan began laughing and covered his mouth in a vain attempt to suppress his giggles.

“What?”

“It is an entertaining tale,” Peter promised and patted Rowan’s leg gently. “I’ll come back in a bit, I should check on William.”

Rowan didn’t mind too much, being on his own. William would leave him alone for hours with nothing to do but stare at the wall and count the stitches in the embroidered pillows. Here he could entertain himself, even if he got bored, he could move on to something else. His knitting was almost finished and he realised with regret that he would have to cast-off soon.

Occasionally he would hear sounds from the main room, Peter walking around in the room or William shifting heavily. He wondered how painful it was, sitting in that same position for hours, unable to move. Then when he remembered how he was forced to kneel on his hands and knees until he collapsed onto an uneven stone floor only to be dragged back up after less that ten hours to endure it all again – and he was tortured on top of that. It was surprising to find that he could recall the sensation almost immediately. He decided, after pushing the pain from his mind, that William deserved this, and everything else that happened to him.

“How are you going?” He looked up and saw Peter at the door, he held a plate in one hand and balanced a cup with his other as he slid the door shut.

“Good,” He smiled. “I need more wool, though,” He held up the knitting needles with the foot of yarn that remained dangling beside the rolls of knitted scarf.

“Really?” Peter put down Rowan’s lunch beside him and picked up the length in wonder. “Look at all this! You could wrap yourself down to your ankles and back!” He chuckled softly and looked up at Rowan, who shrugged sheepishly.

“I don’t actually know any patterns or anything, all I can do is knit scarves.” His skill seemed less impressive now that he admitted that he can’t do much with them.

“That’s all right,” Peter said. “I know women in town who can give you patterns, and teach you the stitches,” He began laughing to himself and turned his twinkling eyes to meet Rowan’s. “Some old women meet every week for an afternoon, just to get out and socialise, they do knitting and art and such, I’m sure they’d love to help teach you!” He suggested.

“Really?” Rowan asked nervously. “They wouldn’t mind me being there?”

“Oh, I’m sure they wouldn’t.” Peter answered with certainty. “Many younger generations aren’t as fond of these skills, they’ve tried teaching their children and grandchildren and they just don’t care.”

“Is it really?” Rowan asked, he knew you could make blankets and clothes out of it but it wasn’t as efficient as weaving.

“Absolutely it is,” Peter said. “With the efficiency of weaving, very few people rely on knitting to make clothing. Being able to clothe and keep yourself warm is an invaluable ability, even if you don’t use it frequently.”

“That’s kind of impressive,” Rowan considered quietly. “I’d like to know at least one important skill,”

“You know more than one!” Peter replied indignantly. “You’ve gotten quite good at carving, once I teach you how to finish, you can make almost anything, you have to give yourself more credit, Row,” He sighed softly and smiled. “Many people learn one skill and rely on that for their whole career. You keep picking up new abilities and you’re always trying to learn, you can do so much that others can’t, I can’t knit, for example, I did learn but it’s been years since I last tried.” Rowan smiled slightly and looked down.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Rowan looked back up and chuckled slightly.

“What are you giggling about?” Peter asked curiously.

“You look a bit like you have a bird’s nest on your head,” Rowan smiled and flinched away as Peter began laughing.

“Oh, do I?” He asked, reaching up and pulling the leather tie from his hair. “I was trying out a new look, I suppose it didn’t work, then,” Rowan giggled as Peter shook out the supposed ‘bird’s nest’ on his head. “You know, you can be really cruel sometimes, Row,” He grumbled as he worked his fingers through the long tangles.

“I’m sorry!” Rowan grinned and shrugged weakly. “But you told me to stop apologising,” Peter scoffed indignantly and looked at him through a veil of mussed hair.

“What have I created?” He asked regretfully and Rowan smirked.

“A monster!” He said in his attempt at a menacing voice.

“I like who you are now,” Peter smiled, inching closer, Rowan covered his cheeks as he flushed and shrugged gently. “It’s nice that you can joke with me.”

“I like it too,” He admitted. “But it feels weird,”

“You shouldn’t be afraid to be who you want,” Peter said, dragging his fingers along his scalp. “I’m not going to punish or reprimand you,”

“I know, I know in my head, but it…it feels like it’s a part of me, to be wary.” Rowan admitted.

“In a few days William won’t be here anymore,” Peter promised. “And you can finally be free to be yourself.”

“I could go to the river,” Rowan muttered.

“Yeah,”

“I could learn to knit from the old women,” He smiled.

“Yes, you can,”

“I can get to know my brothers and sister!”

“Absolutely!” Peter confirmed. “You haven’t had an easy life, but at least now there can be nothing else to hurt you. You’re safe with me, your captor is going to go back with the Queen and be killed, and no one will ever lay a hand on you again. The rest of your life can be nothing but happy,” Rowan nodded eagerly and pressed his hands to his cheeks.

“I never expected to make it to adulthood,” He murmured, looking at Peter through enormous, wet eyes. “Let alone be with someone who cares for me so much, I’m so grateful that you found me,” He sniffed, inhaling a shuddering breath. “And I wouldn’t risk changing a thing,”

“Row,” Peter breathed, moving close enough to embrace him. “I would do anything to have spared you some of this cruelty but I’m so grateful that I did find you, and that I’m the one who could provide you with a life you deserve. Even though you deserve so much more, I’ll give you everything I have to make you happy.” Rowan wrapped his arms around Peter’s neck and buried his face into the crook of his shoulder.

“I already have everything.”

#whump #medieval whump #my writing #oc #Rowan #William #PTSD whumpee #reference to previous abuse #restrained #fluff #comfort #recovery

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