suicide cw
look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am.
ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.
this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.
He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!
you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.
it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions.
what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT.
am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!
yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).
The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.
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there seems to be far too many fans who can't seem to wrap their head around the fact that no relationship in the Vampire Chronicles is healthy. every relationship includes an element of abuse/power imbalance by normal standards. literally every single one.
they are all monsters who are no longer constrained by societal rules. so I don't think it's too crazy to expect them to do mosntorus things. the genre is Gothic HORROR. the show really prioritizes the HORROR element more so than other adaptaions, which i love.
i don't need louis to be a liar to enjoy lestat. if louis lied or misremebered things about the fight in episode 5, i literally do not care because it's never gonna make me hate louis. the baseline of what constitutes "evil" or "bad" is so different in iwtv because of the fact that they are NOT HUMAN. Claudia is literally a serial killer and she's still mother to me. ykwim?
the nature of vampirism is they have to kill to survive. so it would be really cool if people could accept louis, armand, and claudia as complex characters who are fundamentally not good people (because they aren't people!) without being racist about it. THEY ARE ALL KILLERS
im more interested in this exploration of the complexities of memory and seeing how the show integrates the other books into this story in a way that hasn't been done before than I am in discoursing about whether louis is a liar or not. who gives a shit???? grow up and realize that there are no good guys here and that's OKAY
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Also if we do get another new apprentice in the next saw movie I hope its a girl. Amanda is surronded by idiot men and I won't stand for it any longer
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i had a friend talk about a convo she had with another white student about how young poc faculty members tend to be harsh or how they had bad experiences with young poc faculty members and this is in the context of her having a truly objectively terrible experience with an asian faculty member (intentional grade sabotage) but it was.. really awkward. like a lot of complicated issues tangled up into one..
i get it because there is the sense that young poc faculty members tend to be.. not harsh but strict? precisely because they can’t afford to be chummy since they know the students will walk over them otherwise. white tenured faculty members have the luxury of being able to be chummy and informal and still command respect, but imagine being a young untenured poc faculty-- think about all the bullshit they’ve had to go through to arrive at to this place and the extra effort they have to put in to command minimal respect. so i’ve seen young poc faculty being more formal and I totally get why they are like that.
but it still felt so weird for a white student to relay to me how another white student told them “i’ve had similar bad experiences with young poc faculty members” like... what warrants that kind of generalization? also do you not feel weird telling me a poc person in academia that? even i (an asian) would never talk that way about other poc faculty or just people in general..
she’s a good friend who bc of her queerness suffered/suffers a lot, and she is well meaning and all, but idk i guess this is where the insurmountable whiteness comes in. lowkey sad and weird
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random sdv rarepairs i want to write / see more of:
maru x abigail (both insatiably curious, both nerds, both dealing with pressure to grow up just like dad. though at first maru is just "seb's annoying little sister", they're actually close in age and abi begins to realize they have more in common than she thought; she sees how abi's sword is maru's telescope, her tool to explore the universe. maru thinks abi is impractical, all talk no substance, until she realizes that abi is a dreamer like her; abi just wasn't lucky enough to have a dream that fit within the box of her parents' expectations)
abigail x elliott (both enamored by the beauty of the world and the idea of escape. elliott relishes the way she makes him, a nobody struggling artist, feel important, and he sees in her a younger version of himself; she reignites the creative spark he needs. abi is a hopeless romantic though she'll never admit it. she loves the roses and the sonnets, the thrill of sneaking away to his cabin at night. also, daddy issues. this is probably not a healthy relationship)
harvey x emily (both people who build themselves around caring for others; people who know the whole town and yet remain distant. harvey thinks she's kinda full of bullshit but she has what he doesn't - that unreserved joy at merely being - and he finds himself drawn to that, like a bottle of sunshine on a rainy day. emily sees the wounded soul in him, but beyond that, she sees the man he was before he let his fears get in the way, the one who dreamt of flying)
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TWD truly fell off when it started dedicating arcs to Negan’s poor wittle man guilt at brutally murdering dozens of people and started to redeem him. all because gross men will see an actual caricature of toxic, racist, violent and shitty masculinity and be like “HAHA BROOOO HE’S SO COOOOL HE’S MY FAVE NOW HAHA HE’S JUST SO MISUNDERSTOOD YKNOW.”
keep in mind in the comics his introduction is beating a smaller POC guy to death with a baseball bat in front of his family and friends, for no reason, and then he threatens to have Carl (who is like 10 at this point) gang-raped in front of them too if they don’t cooperate
he’s legit as bad as the Governor but he appeals to some sick power fantasy ideals a lot of people absorb from society, so then when they introduced him in the show they even toned him down for the wider audience
always found that really fucked up tbh. big reason I don’t fuck with TWD or TWD fans anymore
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