#also quinn don't listen to this yet this is the most confusing of spoilers

[cakeofthepan]

In this house we love and support DILFs

[Audio Transcript:

*Mission Impossible Theme plays in background*

Ashly: And hey everyone, I'm Ashly Burch. I play Dennis Anderson. He is a thirst trap PTA firefighter widow dad.

Freddie: Ooo we love him for it.

Ashly: And he's a bit of a rogue. He's a bit rogue-ish in his way.

Ron: That guy, Dennis. That really hot guy, that firefighter yoga bod guy.

Ashly: One of the widows that had taken a shine to him gave him a shirt that said DILF, but underneath it said, "Devoted, Involved, Loving Father." And he just thinks that that's what—

Beth: *Laughs*

Freddie: That's such a good shirt. That is such a good shirt.

Ashly: That's what he thinks DILF stands for, and he was like, "Oh, that's really sweet." And now it's kind of an in joke between her and the other widows.

Freddie: Oh my-

Ron: Hey Paeden, ummm, who's your friend here?

Paeden: Uhhh, Dennis?

Dennis: *laughs* Ron...

Paeden: Obviously, my main man

Ashly: Whenever Dennis gets a natural 20 he goes "I'm just happy to be here"

Will, Freddie, Matt: *laughter*

Erin: Ugh, is Dennis still with you?

Ron: Dya.. Erin, you know about Dennis?

Dennis: Yes, Erin, I'm here.

Erin: I hate Dennissss.

Dennis: I don't understand why you hate me so much. I happen to respect you very much.

Ron: Hey, Erin. Erin, it's me, Ron! I hate Dennis too! I uhh, Well, I don't hate him—

Darryl: Ron, that's not a healthy way to talk when he can hear him.

Ron: He's really nice. I don't know how to put this, but, you don't really see Dennis that often bef… He hasn't been around here before. I'm not trying to pick him up at a bar, it's just he just not..  he... doesn't exist.

Anthony: Erin immediately starts whispering,

Erin: Ron, I'm trying to play hard-to-get with Dennis. I fucking love Dennis, don't ruin this for me

Will, Ashly, Freddie, Matt: *laughing*

Ron: You're in love with Dennis? Gahhhhh uhhh uhhh uhhh uh Terry, Terry Junior.

Erin: He's so hot and nice and a firefighter, what am I supposed…

Ron: I know, I know.

Erin: Ugh, you ruined it! You ruined it!

Ashly: Dennis sheds a single tear for the elephant he wished he didn't have to kill

Anthony: So, as has been your suspicion this entire time

Will, Freddie: *laughter*

Anthony: Dennis, is the coolest guy

*Mission Impossible Theme fades out*

Ashly, Will, Matt [overlapping]: *laughter*

Ron: My humps, my humps, my lovely camel humps. Check it out.

Anthony: Okay, so what happens is, you dive.

Ron: I drive these camels crazy. I do it on the daily. They're asking for my water. I… *sad inhale*

Dennis: Said, "Oh, don't you bother."

Ron [on the verge of tears]: Thanks, Dennis.

Will: *laughs*

Dennis: You got it, man.

End Transcript]

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #this is the most chaotic episode I love it so much #also quinn don't listen to this yet this is the most confusing of spoilers #my audio #long post