#also realizing its boring kids content

[f1gments]

DETOUR - HAYAKAWA AKI |早川アキ (M)

You and Aki are supposed to be on your way back from a mission, but the rain that’s been pouring non-stop has Aki pulling over to the side of an empty road for safety precautions. It doesn’t look like it’s stopping any sooner, so what better way to spend that time than to have sweaty, breathy, messy sex in the back seat?

MINORS DNI

Pairing: aki x fem!bodied reader

word count: 8.0k

R18, making out, smut, car sex, protected sex, semi-public sex, handjob, oral sex (towards Aki), vaginal fingering, nipple licking, cowgirl position, missionary, vaginal sex, teasing & dirty talk, softdom aki (?), boyfriend aki

he smokes for a little bit. also calls you baby a few times.

authors note: car sex fic among my list of wips that i’ve been wanting to put out for ages, so ya’ll can thank the amount of horny i had in order to push through with this fic lol. also big thank you to my darling @meownotgood for beta reading and revising! and also adding fuel to the aki horny. i give you big kith <3 <3

18+ explicit content ahead. please for the love of god DO NOT interact if you’re a minor.

Aki exhales a long, defeated sigh from the driver’s seat. 

“It looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.” he says, switching the car engine off. 

It's been pouring non-stop from the moment you left the city, but the rain has only grown heavier, to the point where it's difficult to see the road — or anything, for that matter. All you can make out through the droplet-soaked windows are the elusive silhouettes of houses and the blurred lights from the street lamps. The sky is gloomy and dark, puffy gray clouds obscure the sun. 

The two of you were supposed to be on your way back to headquarters after completing a mission Makima had sent you on. According to file reports and a call she received, the Rat Devil was going around terrorizing citizens in a small district on the far outskirts of Tokyo. 

The mission itself was simple: kill the Rat Devil and report back to Makima upon confirmation of its extermination. By the time you and Aki arrived, almost half the neighborhood was killed — or rather, eaten, so there wasn't any need for search and rescue. The devil was dealt with rather easily. You and Aki would have been at headquarters and done with all of this by now, if it wasn't for the sudden rainstorm interrupting that plan. 

So, here you are, parked at the side of an empty road with Aki, biding your time until the rain stops. 

You're a little bored, sure, but this isn't all bad. It feels good to relax a bit before you have to go back to headquarters; you can already see the giant stack of paperwork waiting for you. 

You hum as you shrug off your coat, before leaning your head against the headrest. You stare out the foggy window; there's a couple of houses up ahead that you can see from where you're parked, and beside them is a small playground. The whole neighborhood looks empty, as expected. You don’t think any kids will be coming out to play in this weather. 

The sound of the rain echoes a rhythmic pitter patter against the roof of the car. It's soothing, like it could lull you to sleep. You allow your tired eyes to close, and you almost drift off, but in a few moments, the sudden realization of being stuck in the rain, all alone somewhere secluded with your boyfriend begins to form an idea inside your head. 

It's not the best idea to be thinking of right now, sure. But considering it's been raining non-stop for ages now, and considering you need some way to pass the time, you wouldn't exactly say it's the worst thing you could come up with. 

You're just not sure about getting Aki to agree to it. You can already hear his response in your head: Really? You want to have sex right now? That's… We can't. Just wait until we get home. 

You've been dating Aki for an entire year now, and sex isn’t exactly new to you anymore, since you both gave each other your firsts on the fifth month of being together. But even now, Aki still blushes whenever you undress in front of him, or when you ask if you can suck him off during foreplay. 

He always tells you that you don't have to do anything for him, because he feels good just by watching you come undone on his fingers, his mouth giving you soft kisses on your clit while his tongue gives you long licks until your toes are curling as you cum. He's still the same as when you first met him, too shy to make the first move, and so dedicated to your own pleasure that he forgets about his own. 

And you know he's definitely too embarrassed to consider having sex in a place like this. You've never done anything remotely intimate with him in any place besides the bedroom. Hell, sometimes he's too embarrassed just to kiss you in public. 

You think you have an idea to convince him, though. 

You turn to look at Aki, who has one hand resting on the steering wheel, his fingers tapping a random beat against it. He rests his chin in the palm of his other hand, elbow on the side panel of the door. The rain continues to fall, drumming against the rooftop, as though it’s trying to flood the empty streets outside, to wash off all that is unjust and evil. 

Aki fidgets in the driver's seat for a moment, before you watch him pull out his pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his pants. He lights one up with the baby blue lighter you always see him use, and then he twists the key in the ignition, putting it in accessory mode so only the lights and radio turn on. 

He rolls the window down enough for him to flick the ashes out of it, making the petrichor invade your nose for a few moments. The rich, familiar smell of smoke he exhales replaces it, the wind drifts the scent towards you, along with the faint warm and woody cologne that emanates from him. 

You gaze at his handsome features in awe, admiring his side profile; the dull luminescence overcasting a shadow on his angular jawline and high cheekbones, eyes of welded iron and a gaze just as hard — Eyes that have seen more than anyone could possibly imagine in one lifetime. An upper lip that protrudes a little further than the lower, and cheeks of dusty pink; they soften his expression, and his demeanor of steel.

You shake your head before you end up getting lost in your thoughts any further. You inhale deeply, breathing in the remainder of smoke, and the gentle scent of the cologne clinging to his clothes once again. 

“Hey, Aki…” 

His attention goes to you the second he hears your voice, deep blue eyes scanning your gentle features and your unreadable expression. He notices that you've taken your coat off. 

“Hmm, what’s wrong?” Aki replies softly. “Are you feeling warm? I can turn the air conditioning on for a bit if you’d like.” He reaches for the air conditioning valve on the dashboard, but you grab his hand to stop him, shaking your head. 

“I’m fine. It’s something else.” You peer up at him through your lashes. His hand is warm. 

“What is it?” There’s a look of genuine concern apparent on his face as Aki puts out the cigarette in the portable ashtray he carries in his jacket. He scans all the parts of your body he can see — your arms, your hands, your neck, your shoulders, trying to see if there's any injuries, worried that you might have gotten hurt from the mission earlier. 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” 

You shake your head again with a chuckle, and you grab both of his hands, squeezing them tightly. “No, Aki. I told you, I’m fine. It’s just that...” 

You can't help but trail off; feeling a little embarrassed, you start to fiddle with his fingers, averting your eyes. 

“Spit it out already." Aki sighs impatiently, making you chuckle again. 

“So impatient.” you answer, smirking, to which Aki gives you an unamused blank stare. 

“I was thinking we could do something fun to pass the time." 

Aki raises an eyebrow. “Like what?”

You lean in closer, and since the space between you and him in the car isn’t very big to begin with, your lips are already inches away from his. 

You cup his chin between your finger and your thumb and whisper, “Like this…” 

At once, you've closed the distance, and your lips press softly to his. Aki's eyes widen, but soon, he's relaxing into the kiss, his shoulders slumping, his eyes fluttering shut. The smell of you consumes his senses: vanilla and lavender, utterly intoxicating. 

When the kiss deepens, he can taste the faint flavor of your lip gloss: cherry and mint. He kisses your lips over and over again like he can't get enough, soft but hungry at the same time. 

You move to climb on top of him, and Aki adjusts himself, leaning back in his seat to give you enough space to straddle him comfortably. Your tongue presses to his; you kiss languidly and deeply, taking time to explore each other’s mouths. Your lips feel so good against his own, so perfect. They're fogging up his mind, like you're demanding him to forget everything except for you — and it’s working. 

Your hands grip tightly onto his shirt as Aki skims his fingers down your shoulders and across your sides, resting them onto the curve of your waist. Right now, neither of you are thinking about getting back as soon as possible, or your lives, or anything like stupid devils and more missions. It’s just the both of you focusing on each other, and Aki’s mind is consumed only by thoughts of how good you make him feel. 

You both pull away breathlessly, foreheads resting against one another. Still catching your breath, you roll your hips into Aki's lap hesitantly, testing the waters. Aki groans, but he gives your waist a firm squeeze, stopping you from continuing. 

“We… we can’t. Not here." Aki looks at you through heavy eyelids. “Someone might see us.” 

You slide backwards a little on his lap as much as the small space will allow, until you feel the steering wheel press into your back. Your hand slowly travels up his thigh, fingers playing with the zipper of his pants. 

“Well, I guess we’ll have to be quick then.” You flash him a grin, but Aki stares back with an unamused expression. You reach up, toying with the earring on his lobe, resisting the urge to pinch his cheek. “Come on Aki, we haven’t seen another car for three hours. I doubt anyone’s going to see us in this rain.” 

Aki doesn't respond, so you take matters into your own hands: in a few seconds, you've grasped the button on his slacks and popped it open. You're tugging the zipper down, relieving some of the pressure when you hear Aki inhale sharply, his eyebrows furrowed, but he doesn't make an attempt to push you away. 

“Stop that.” 

His voice is weak, it's shaky, it lacks the bite you normally hear out of him when you're at work. And even though he's telling you to stop, Aki's body betrays him. You can feel the bulge that's forming underneath his slacks, you notice how he lifts his hips a little to make it easier for you to tug his pants down. Your smirk grows wider. 

“Do you really want me to stop?” you hum, moving closer to whisper into his ear. 

“Baby-” Aki quips sharply, almost like a warning, but you continue your ministrations; you rub where the hem of his briefs meets his stomach with your thumbs, you kiss him softly behind his ear. 

“Don’t you want me too?” You pull back to meet his eyes, and you tilt your head to the side, your lips pulling up into a coy smile. Aki's heart skips a beat at the sight. 

Aki swallows thickly. “I…” 

It’s not that he doesn’t want you. It's just that he'd much rather have you somewhere more comfortable, more familiar. When he's looking at you like he is now, his head spins with the thought of driving you home, tossing the door open only to carry you to his bedroom and pin you to the bed. He imagines your hands gripping the sheets, your voice calling his name with his head buried between your legs, his lips on your clit and his mouth on your pussy. 

No, he definitely wants you, and he can't deny it, he can't stop thinking about it now that you've got him started. 

Before Aki can give you a reply, you lean into his neck, giving him a few soft, teasing kisses on his warm skin, before you pull back and look at him again with the same imploring smile. 

Aki sighs, half in annoyance, half in submission. You can see the affection behind his eyes when he looks at you; deep down, he’s a pile of mush, unbelievably endeared to you. He’s helpless when you ask for things out of the blue like this, especially when you give him such a pleading look with those doe-like eyes. 

Aki takes in a long, steady breath before he asks, “Are you sure you want to do this here?  Wouldn’t it be better if we wait until we get home?” 

“I’m sure. Besides,” You nod softly, smiling, “Don’t you think it’s a little exciting to fuck me in the car?” 

Oh, Aki thinks it’s very exciting. As much as he doesn't want to admit it, he gets a certain rush just by imagining it, it's a kind of feeling he's never felt before. His dick throbs in his briefs when he thinks of fucking you in the backseat of the company car, and in public, no less. 

Part of him is still nervous — What if you both make a mess, what if someone catches you? But another part of him wants to chase that rush, he wants to have you right here, and right now. 

He tries to temper the fog in his head, focusing on the feeling of you against him. It's difficult when his heart is thumping loud in his eardrums, and when his core is thrumming with anticipation and need.   

“I need you, Aki.” 

Sometimes, he swears you can read his mind. 

“I need you too.” he replies, and you don’t miss the faint pink color dusted on his cheekbones. Aki swallows, and he takes a deep breath to steady himself. “Just this once. We'll do this just this once, got it?”

Aki motions his head over to the back seat, and you take the hint, quickly climbing into it. He follows suit shortly after, and everything is a blur of clothes coming off and hungry, heated and sloppy kisses. You're left in just your underwear, and Aki is left in just his loose work slacks. 

You can feel the familiar rush of white hot want course through your veins.You’re sure Aki feels the same way because in between kisses, when your hand goes back to stroking the tent in his pants, he seems to have only gotten harder. You give him one last firm squeeze, pulling away to position yourself on your knees in front of him. 

It's a tight fit; the company cars are spacious, but you're still crammed in between him and the back of the front seat, it leaves you to rest your head on his legs and press your chest to his knees. 

“What… what are you doing?” Aki stutters nervously, squirming a little in his seat when you reach for his slacks. You tug them down his legs the rest of the way until they're pooled at his ankles. 

“Making you feel good.” 

Your fingers feel warm on his skin when you push them under the waistband of his briefs. You help him out of them, his length bounces up to tap his stomach when you tug them all the way down. The sensitive, pink head tingles when it brushes against his skin, causing Aki’s entire frame to shudder with need. 

You waste no time gripping the base of his cock and spitting on the leaking tip, stroking him slowly. Aki spreads his legs a little wider for you as your palm swipes the tip, getting his length wet with your saliva and his precum; the sensation has him moaning in pleasure. 

Barely squeezing, you slowly move your hand up and down the shaft, you snicker a little when you hear him whimper slightly. You pump his cock lazily, and Aki reaches down, grabbing your arm to steady himself, thrusting his hips up into your hand, searching for more. 

And you give it to him; Aki’s head falls back against the headrest with a thud, and he grunts as you start to stroke him faster. “Feels… so good.” 

“More?” you ask, your voice husky. Aki nods feverishly in response.

“God, yes. Please. Don't stop, don't stop...” 

The slick noises filling the car and the sound of Aki's desperate begs add on to the growing ache between your legs, they mix with the echo of the rain tapping the roof of the car and the windshield. He mutters a strained fuck when you wrap your fingers around the base of his cock and bring it to your warm tongue, giving the tip a tentative lick. 

“S-Shit…” Aki hisses, his breathing unsteady, “That's it… Keep going.”

At first, you start by just trailing kisses down his tip to the underside of his cock, and Aki shivers at the faint sensation. When you trail back up, starting to take him into your mouth, you feel his palm lay softly on the back of your head, and then his fingers knot themselves into your hair, gripping tightly, holding the loose strands away from your face in a makeshift ponytail. 

Aki watches you with his jaw slack, he quietly moans your name when your cheeks hollow, your head bobbing up and down his cock at a languid pace. 

Aki grips your hair a little tighter. His eyes meet yours, his gaze is heavy with lust and with love. “So good, you're doing such a good job.”

With your saliva involved, every time you suck on his cock with your lips closed, there's a nasty, loud squelch — It reminds him that this is happening right here, that you're sucking Aki's cock in the backseat. He's in so much bliss he's hardly thinking about it, he can only focus on the feeling of your tongue swirling around his dick, of your warm mouth and the tip of his cock slightly touching the back of your throat when he bucks his hips up. 

He rubs the back of your head gently, his eyelashes flutter when he looks at you. 

“Your lips… They're so pretty.” Aki tells you, and you pull away from his cock with a loud pop. 

“Yeah?” A teasing smile forms on your lips. “And you have a pretty dick.” 

Aki's cheeks instantly blossom with color, petals of dusty rose scattering across his handsome features. His pupils blow out deep, dark and wide. You've always thought Aki has the most beautiful pair of eyes, they're like a door to his soul. Pools of deep dark blue that you could drown inside if you weren’t so busy sucking the life out of him in the back of the sleek company sedan. 

You watch Aki draw his bottom lip between his teeth, hesitating, before finally, he gently pushes down on the back of your head, with so little force you almost don't feel it. 

“C’mon… keep going for me, just a little bit, please. Can you do that?" His voice cracks slightly, his tone high-pitched. You smile, nodding obediently, and you move back down to wrap your warm lips around him once again. 

“Mhmm.” The hum of your voice sends vibrations over Aki's cock, causing him to inhale a sharp breath through his teeth. You look up at him one last time, batting your eyelashes before sinking your mouth down on him completely, taking him all the way down your throat. Tears well at the corners of your eyes, and you shut them tight to will them away. 

Aki cries out, his thighs shaking. He stammers, “S-Shit, baby, too much, slow down...” 

He's trying his hardest not to thrust himself into your mouth. His eyes almost roll into the back of his head when he feels the tip of his cock brush the back of your throat again, and he clumsily pushes your hair behind your ears as you suck eagerly on his cock. 

It's so overwhelming, it's so much, it's more than he thinks he can take when one of your hands reaches up to grip the base of his cock, stroking in tune with your mouth, while the other massages his thigh, willing his legs to spread even further apart. But it feels so fucking good, Aki can't help but melt into you. 

“God,” he groans through heavy pants, “You take me so well, p-please, don't stop.” 

The way your hand glides up and down his cock along with your mouth is making Aki forget how to think straight. He feels dizzy, he knows he's getting close to the edge, and if he lets you keep going, he's sure he won't be able to stop himself from cumming. He grabs your wrist firmly — a silent demand to halt your actions — and he catches his breath. 

In compliance, you freeze, and Aki slips his hand up to hold the side of your face, to cup your cheek and slowly coax you up while he leans down. 

“C'mere.”

He pulls you into a fervent kiss, you press your palm to his chest and push him back into the seat until you can straddle his thighs and settle into his lap. 

Aki can taste himself on your tongue; it makes him feel high, but as you lift your hips, grinding your clothed cunt against his length, getting your underwear soaked and filthy and making Aki moan into your mouth, he suddenly stops you. He reaches down, he grabs your waist and causes you to freeze, pulling away from his lips, a confused expression on your face. 

No, no more. He needs you right now.

“I… I want to cum with you.” Aki admits, breathing hard, “I need to be inside you when I cum.” 

You nod with a gentle smile. “Okay. Of course.” 

You follow Aki's lead when he brings his palm to the small of your back, guiding you to twist and lay down in the backseat. The space is cramped, your head is propped up on the door, Aki has to slot his knee between your legs to make room for himself. The tight space makes it feel like he's even closer. 

Condensation has formed on the inside of the windows from the heat of your bodies. Aki cranes down to meet your neck. Your breath hitches at the first touch of his lips on your skin, right on your nape, and then down, his open mouth wet and warm on the flesh below your collarbone. 

“I’m gonna take your underwear off, okay?” he whispers softly without pulling away. You nod, and you lift your hips up slightly to allow him to pull down your lacy underwear. He tosses them to the side while he continues to leave gentle kisses on your chest.  

“Spread your legs open for me.” His words are like warm honey, sweet and dizzying when they drip from his lips to meet your ears. 

You obey, spreading your legs eagerly, as wide as the small space in the backseat will allow. Aki’s eyes grow dark with lust when he pulls back and sees your pretty pussy glistening in the low light, soaking wet for him — like a blooming flower, filled with sweet, sticky nectar. 

He grazes his fingers up your dripping slit, he sighs the moment he feels your slick drip out onto the digits. 

“God, you're so wet,” he croaks out, slightly breathless. His head dips, bangs hiding his face, and he tries to compose himself. “I'm gonna put one in.” 

Then, Aki is slowly pressing a finger into your tight walls, sinking it in all the way and curling it into your core, causing you to whine and arch your back, your chest pressing up towards him. You wrap one arm around his shoulders, and you grip his arm with the other, your hips bucking up as another finger teases your entrance before sinking deep inside. 

Your mouth falls open, your brows pinch. Aki kisses your forehead, he tugs you closer and leans down to brush his lips over your neck. 

“Feels good,” you whine, and Aki delicately rubs your clit with his thumb, sighing when he feels your walls clamp around his fingers. 

“Yeah?” He kisses your neck messily, curling his fingers into you deliciously. 

“I’m close, I'm close-” 

Your thighs close around his arm, and Aki slows his pace for just a moment. 

He asks, “Do you want me to stop?” 

Immediately, you shake your head, you plead for him to continue. Aki kisses your neck once more before he brings his lips to your ear, he presses his fingers into your sweet spot while toying with your clit, whispering honeyed words into your ear. 

You're so pretty, you gonna cum for me? Go ahead and cum, baby, I've got you. 

You tip over the edge just as he eases a third finger into you. You chant his name, your thighs shake and he drags his soaked fingers out to messily rub your clit through your orgasm with quick flicks of his wrist. 

Aki kisses you as you come down; it's like time is frozen, like it's just you and him stuck in this moment. Your lips melded to his while you breathe life into him, yet at the same time, take his breath away with each kiss you give to his lips. He only pulls away to catch his breath and briefly bring his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean. 

“Hold on,” Aki reaches down onto the floor, searching for his pants. When he finds them, he fishes his wallet out of his pocket, pulling out a silver condom packet. 

“What?” You prop yourself up on your elbows, eyeing him up and down. “Since when have you started carrying those around?” 

Aki replies matter-of-factly, “Since we started dating.” 

You smirk. “We have plenty of those at your house, you know. Thought you didn't want to have sex in public.” 

“Oh, please,” Aki rolls his eyes, “I wasn't counting on using them for something like this. It's just… better to be prepared.” 

It's not a complete lie, although, Aki can't deny he was thinking of the two of you getting caught in something spontaneous when he first slipped the condom into his wallet. He definitely didn't imagine this would be the place he'd end up using it, though. 

You reach up, plucking the condom packet from his fingers, and Aki glances up towards the driver's seat. The sky seems even darker than before, and the rain is still pouring down, battering the glass and obscuring the view. The windows of the car are slightly tinted, and with this storm, there's still no-one to be found. 

You tear open the condom wrapper, and you're sliding the lubricated latex down his hardened cock when Aki turns to look at you again. He settles his much larger hand over your own, he helps you tug the condom snugly on his length. 

“So...” Aki starts, and you look up to meet his eyes. “You were planning on doing this without protection?” 

He's so perceptive, you can't help but laugh. “Maybe. You're right, though. It's better to be safe.” 

Aki's eyes narrow. His expression seems unamused, but the more he thinks about it, the more he considers what that would entail — fucking you raw, the deeper his cheeks redden. Perhaps he should have gone with what you wanted. 

“Hey,” Your voice rouses him from his thoughts, “Sit back for me.” 

As he leans back, settling into the seat, you climb into his lap to straddle him again, pressing your lips to his. Your palms roam up and down his chest, fingertips tracing the scars littered across his toned body. 

His tongue snakes against yours, he kisses you deeply. Your teeth nip at his bottom lip before you detach and kiss his chin, then the edge of his jaw, trailing kisses down his to his neck where you suck beautiful fields of lilac and dusty pink into his pale skin. Aki gasps; his hands drift down your waist, the shape of your hips, and the arch of your back until they begin to knead the soft flesh of your ass. 

You can't wait any longer; you raise your hips and grip the base of his cock, running the tip over your wet folds. Aki looks down, he watches, he bites down on his lower lip. Then, he meets your gaze, his eyes glazed over, his expression pleading. 

Finally, you align his throbbing cock to your entrance, bringing yourself down halfway, slowly. You feel the fat tip of his cock enter you, you feel it stretch you out. Aki throws his head back, his eyes closed. He already feels like he could cum, just from this. Just from being halfway inside you. 

“Shit,” he mumbles, “God, that feels so good, fuck, baby-” 

You're both panting, and you've barely even taken him. 

Aki cracks his eyes open to watch you sink down on his cock, the length slowly disappearing inside you. He sucks a hiss between his gritted teeth when you settle on him all the way, taking all of him in. Your heart is pounding wildly against your ribcage, your head is starting to spin. 

“Too deep?” Aki asks between pants, and you shake your head. A few moments go by, you listen to the rhythmic drum of rain, Aki rubs soothing circles on your back and gives you a minute to adjust. 

It feels so good to finally be inside you. Aki breathes in deeply, he groans when your hips shift. You take another few moments to compose yourself before you lift your hips a little, only to immediately drop back down on his cock, causing a low fuck to escape from his lips. 

You start bouncing up and down his length, and he leans forward, latching his mouth onto your nipple. His hand gently kneads your other breast. You moan softly, hands reaching up to tug his messy hair out of his topknot, until your fingers can run through the strands and your nails can drag across his scalp, making him grunt and his spine tingle. 

“You like that, baby?” you coo, and Aki hums in approval, sending vibrations over your breast. His eyebrows are knitted together, his eyelids are fluttered shut. 

He swirls his tongue around your nipple and kisses your breast before pulling away. Your pace is getting a little faster, a little harder. The car is filled with the sound of skin slapping skin as you ride him, and the needy whines and moans coming from both you and him. 

“I love it, love it so much,” Aki sighs, “S-So wet and tight for me.” 

You grind your pelvis into his, and he grips your waist to help you along. You start to feel Aki raising his hips up from the seat. Ever so slightly, at first, just trying to feel you a little deeper. And then, desperately — he's matching your rhythm and rutting up into you, fucking you as you ride him with needy whines and fragile gasps. 

His expression already looks so fucked-out: his pupils blown, his lips parted, hair down and messy to frame his face. He's practically drooling. 

“That’s it, baby,” you purr as Aki thrusts up into you again, moaning from the pleasure. “Show me how much you like it.” 

“Ngh — fuck.” Your words only seem to spur him on more. Aki digs his nails a little harder into your hips, he shakes his head to get his messy bangs out of his eyes. 

“Oh, yes.” you moan, gripping his broad shoulders to steady yourself, “Right there, please, right there-” 

Sweat drips from his forehead, droplets cascade down his chest. He's fucking right into your sweet spot, to the point where you hardly have to move, you just let him thrust into you. Your ass is slapping against his thighs. Aki kisses your cheek before grasping your chin between his fingers and pulling your mouth onto his. 

The kiss is a wild clash of tongue and teeth, but you break away almost as soon as it begins, crying out when Aki buries himself into you hard. You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, gasping over and over again in pleasure. 

Suddenly, Aki's pace starts to slow, he's holding you still and trying to catch his breath. His thighs are twitching, and his heart is pounding, it's so loud he can hear it in his ears. 

“Not… not gonna last much longer like this,” he mumbles, and you sit up to meet his eyes. There's an earnest, loving expression in the back of his gaze when he asks, “Can we change positions?” 

You don't answer, still catching your breath, but you nod your head. Aki rubs your hips, he lifts you and pulls out of you slowly, he kisses your jaw and your throat. You feel his arm curl around the small of your back, and he gently maneuvers your body until you're under him, your back laying flat against the seat. The leather is cool and smooth on your skin. 

Aki takes in the sight of you for a few moments, his eyes scanning your form. He admires the way you're splayed out beneath him; so beautiful, so angelic, as you always are. This time, though, it's a little different. It's a bit different to see you here, to have you in a place like this. It somehow manages to be exciting, but just as intimate as when he has you in his bedroom at the same time. 

He can't hold back from telling you in a sweet voice, “You're beautiful. So beautiful.” 

He closes his eyes, he listens to the drum of the rain for a second. Then, he grabs your waist, squeezing it carefully to let you know he's continuing, before lining the tip of his cock up with your entrance. 

Aki is incredibly gentle when he enters you again, like he’s handling glass, easing inside of you slowly. But once he's halfway in, everything is so hot and wet and tight that he's nearly on the verge of losing control, he has to resist the urge to just fuck you senseless. 

He exhales a shaky breath, you watch as his eyebrows furrow and God, it's so good, he's about to bottom out and it's such a snug, tight fit but it's just so right. All you can do is wiggle your hips and sigh feebly under the pressure, with Aki's forehead pressed to yours as he fills you. 

He places one of his hands on your side, while the other grips your leg from where it's falling off the edge of the seat. He tosses it over his shoulder, he buries himself into the hilt. 

“So good, Aki...” you gasp, your voice breathless, desperate. Aki leans down; his tongue flicks over your earlobe, he takes it between his teeth and sucks. His palms roam your body, gliding over your stomach and your sides. He kisses the shell of your ear, his warm breath fans out over it. 

“God, please.” Your head tosses back, and you're begging for him to give you more, only for Aki to ignore your pleading. 

Your arms wrap around his neck, and he kisses down your jaw, your neck, your shoulders. His lips reach your breast, he gazes fondly at the pretty shade of your skin before brushing his lips over your nipple. He licks it with the flat length of his tongue while he reaches down, bringing a free hand between your legs to rub soft circles over your clit with his thumb. You feel a wave of bliss twist up your spine, your cunt tightens around Aki's thick cock and his whole body shudders. 

A shaky moan comes with your next words: “Aki… stop teasing. Please.” 

You wiggle your hips, you whine and grip his shoulders tightly as he continues to kiss and suck on your breast, humming softly. 

“Need you to fuck me, now, please, Aki?” 

A ghost of a smile forms across Aki's face. He pulls away from your chest with a quiet pop, glancing up to meet your gaze. He mumbles, “You sound so cute… you want me to move, right?” 

He rewards you with the slightest thrust of his hips, rutting himself into you, just a little bit. It's enough to make you gasp, to make you grip him tighter and tangle your fingers in his hair. 

He knows you want him to move, he just wants to hear you say it. 

Face warm and with your eyes screwed shut, you murmur his name senselessly, over and over again like a prayer, a plea. You mutter please, please, please again and again as Aki's lips ghost over yours, and then press to the side of your throat, where he kisses and lightly nibbles, leaving impressions of his teeth. 

He tries to hold out, he tries to tease you as much as he can, only moving slightly, just enjoying the feeling of being buried deep inside you and the sound of your pretty voice. But it's hard to resist you, especially when you're begging for him. He longs to give you everything you ask for. 

“Alright,” he murmurs, voice soft and gentle, “Since you asked so nicely, I’ll give you what you want.”

Aki rests his head on your shoulder, and as he presses wet, open-mouthed kisses along your collarbones, he quickens his pace, thrusting into you with deep, languid rolls of his hips. He reaches for your hands, pinning them above your head and threads his fingers with your own, holding them tightly. 

He pulls back and meets your eyes; your gaze flickers over his and you watch his brows furrow from the building pleasure. Then, Aki leans in, all the way until he's kissing you and his tongue is slipping past your lips. 

He begins to drill himself in fast, thrusting himself eagerly into you with long, deep strokes. The small space of the backseat causes his body to press up close to yours, and the perked buds of your nipples graze against his chest with every abrupt movement. Aki screws his eyes tightly shut, he lets go of your hands to hold the sides of your face as he kisses you. He focuses on the way your nails rake over his back. 

He kisses you leisurely, deliberately, as if he's trying to capture every inch of your sweet taste on the tip of his tongue. You whimper into his mouth; his cock is hitting the spot that always makes you melt, it's causing you to arch your back into him. His tempo doesn't slow, nor does it falter. He continues to pound into you, hitting that perfect spot and causing all your nerves to light up when his pelvis grinds into your swollen clit with each of his thrusts. 

His hand steadies on the curve of your hip, he keeps the connection between your mouth and his as his palm trails lower, further downwards until it reaches the warmth of your cunt. You're soaked with both of your desires, your clit feels slick on his fingertips when he toys with it. 

You grip him tightly, clutching onto him as if your bearings have been thrown and he is the only thing in this world that can keep you grounded — a solid rock amongst the heavy waves. You find sanity in the taste of his tongue, and stability in your hands grasping at his shoulder blades. He's close, so close. 

He pulls away from your mouth, his warm breath mixes with yours, and you immediately gasp, “Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.” 

Aki responds with a deep groan, his voice husky. “I won’t baby, I’ll give it to you as much as you want.” 

He leans down, kissing the tip of your nose. And then, his tongue presses to your neck, he licks a long stripe up your skin, eliciting a stuttered whimper from your lips. Aki leans his head on your shoulder, he sighs into your nape. It's so cute, it's so sexy that you want him so badly. You're begging desperately under him, when moments earlier you were the one teasing him, like the little minx you always are. 

You're always like this. You can tease him as much as you'd like, but he knows how much you need him. That's why you had him fuck you here, without being patient enough to wait for the two of you to get home. 

The rain is just as steady as it was when you began. It overpowers the echo of Aki's skin hitting yours, it's a quiet sort of lull that soothes you the moment the sound fills your ears. Everything feels slow, warm and sleepy and tinged with electricity. Is this how things always were with him? 

You reach for his face, you cup his cheeks and get him to look into your eyes. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, I love you so much.” Aki responds immediately, breathlessly, and he slows down the rhythm of his thrusts. 

In this beautiful instance of time, nothing matters, absolutely nothing but you. 

You take him into your broad oceans of adoration, care, and unadulterated love. You sweep him out into your calm oceans and away from the rocky shores which expose the jagged edges of his past, a life already lived, that still manages to cut at his bones, that still digs deep into his sanity and claws at the worst of him. 

Right now, you look heavenly, your hair splayed out onto the dark, leather seats, the warm light reflecting off your skin. Aki marvels at your beauty; the way the overcast lighting and shadows from outside cast over you makes you glow as if you're a piece of the moon itself, dislodged and sent down to earth to bring the brightest of lights into his life. An ethereal being for him to love and adore, who he's lucky enough to have all for himself.

Slowly, he works back to his previous pace, but his eyes never leave your form, he never stops gazing at you with such adoration and love. Your heart flutters ceaselessly inside of your chest. 

Honestly, Aki is so turned on he's starting to lose control of himself. The mere sight of you underneath him, in the backseat of the company’s car, in the middle of an empty street — it’s something Aki couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams. And yet, it feels so lovely to have you here, so perfect, he just can't get enough. 

The simmering pressure that's been building up in him, deep and potent, begins to rapidly pool in his core to the point where Aki is sure he won't be able to hold back for much longer. The coil in his stomach is tightening, winding and threatening to snap. His bottom lip is bitten to hell and back, and his parched throat murmurs your name with a harsh sense of yearning. 

Aki looks down at you with a hooded gaze, but he ceases to break eye contact with you. His forearms support his weight on either side of your body as he continues to thrust in and out, following the rhythm that always makes you come undone for him. 

Pleasure consumes him, it consumes you, you're joined in the most intimate way two people could become one. The act is sinful, but it's coated in the deep bond the both of you share, it's intertwined with pure love and utter devotion. 

“A-Aki,” You sound like you’re on the verge of tears, babbling as you beg, “I can’t, I have to… Aki, please, I-” 

You interrupt yourself with a loud cry, tossing your head back as you immerse yourself in the very peak of your euphoria. 

“Yeah?” Aki gasps back, fucking you deeply, perfectly, in the way that always brings you to the edge for him. 

“Let go, sweetheart.” He's barely breathing the words, he grasps your chin and stares into your eyes. His thumb brushes over your lower lip. “Come for me – Come all over me.”

It’s impossible to say no. Not when his voice is so soft and convincing, so enticing. Not when he's fucking you this good, bringing you to heaven with every deep roll of his hips. 

You can barely hear the rain outside anymore. The only thing you can focus on is the pleasure, the only sound filling your ears is the echo of Aki's heavy breaths and his desperate moans. You want to drown in this feeling forever, you want Aki's sweet words to melt into your skin, to brand you with his mark. 

The whole car is shaking from the weight of Aki's thrusts as he fucks you into the seat. You're right on the edge, and one more deep thrust throws you over; your thighs shudder, you let go with a scream of his name. Aki works you through your bliss, drawing out your pleasure until the feeling of your walls clamping around his cock has him meeting his end along with you. 

He groans your name, his head drops to your shoulder and his eyes screw shut. His thrusts grow erratic, clumsy, he mutters a mix of yes, and, I love you. He spills a warm load inside the condom as your walls throb around him, milking him for everything he has. 

The white fades eventually, like lamplight dimming behind a shade. Your vision is hazy, the both of you are a sweaty mess in the backseat, and when you breathe in, it’s all musky and good and sweet, just the scent of sex and the feeling of Aki's body pressed closely to yours, his arms wrapped loosely around you. 

After a few moments, Aki pulls out of you, and he pulls you close to him so you're huddled up to him. His heart is beating loudly in his chest, and you can feel it against yours. You breathe in and out, deeply, trying to steady your breathing. Aki does the same. Your hearts sync up to the same steady rhythm. 

The afterglow begins to settle into Aki’s bones. His mind is a complete haze of pleasure, and the only thing on his mind is you, you, you. He sits up a little, and he turns to look at you, only to find that you're already staring back up at him with adoration in your eyes. 

Aki stares into them for what feels like an eternity, stretches of time that must only be mere seconds, but feel like they've continued on for decades, horizons far beyond this unfairly short lifetime. Your gaze is his solace, his home. He knows he's too far gone. 

When he says those three words again, it feels greater than the first time, more than the second. As if with every new time he confesses his love to you, the truth of it engraves itself deeper into his being.

Aki breathes, “I love you.” 

You smile, you lean in and kiss his shoulder. “I love you too, Aki.” 

Aki nuzzles your forehead weakly. He gives the two of you a few more moments to regain composure, and then he pushes himself up, discarding the condom and collecting both of your clothes. He helps you get dressed, he tugs his clothes on and adjusts them so they're just as neat as they were before. You hand him his hair tie as you finish buttoning up your shirt, and Aki ties his hair up before climbing into the driver's seat. 

The rain has finally slowed down to a soft drizzle. Thankfully, when you climb into the passenger's seat and scan the road, you don't see anyone on the streets. You lean your head into the headrest, finally feeling the fatigue of the mission and the previous activities from earlier take over. 

Aki looks towards you. He makes sure you're alright, he reaches for the keys and turns them in the ignition, firing up the engine. 

You meet his eyes. One of his hands grips the steering wheel, and the other reaches for yours. He brings it close to his face, he presses a kiss to your knuckle. He lets go and settles his palm onto your thigh. 

“Come on. Let’s go home.” 

a/n: pls forgive if you see any errors, dumblr likes to fuck up my posts for some reason.

#creaming in my pants when i wrote this #watch me not post for months again after this #feels good to put something out once in a while though #aki x reader #aki smut #aki hayakawa x reader #aki hayakawa smut #csm x reader #csm smut #chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man x you #chainsaw man smut #aki x you #aki hayakawa x you #hayakawa aki x you #hayakawa aki x reader

[relocatedheads]

would you write eddie munson x fem!reader smut?

where eddie’s chilling in his girls‘s room, bored because she’s taking a shower. he’s kinda snoopin’ around & finds a pastel pink book. he’s curious & starts reading it, realizing it’s her diary. he skips to the last page, dated just a few days ago. his eyes widen, not believing what he’s reading about his innocent girl.

sure they had sex. and not that vanilla, too. but he would’ve never thought his girl had thoughts like that. on this very page, his girl wrote her hidden fantasies. things she never even thought of telling eddie, too embarrassed. she’s talking about how she wants to call eddie „daddy“, or be choked, be humiliated to the brim, be filled by his cum till he’s dry, want him to be in complete control. she wants to be fully submitted to him.

before he can put the diary away she comes out of the bathroom, catching him. he confronts her & she tells him how embarrassed she is etc. they talk it out & he reversals that some of the stuff she likes he likes too. then they make out & they try out some of the stuff.

Oh my god you're an evil genius, time I put my 4 years of journaling to good use! - also ive been working on this all week and the 'h' key on my keyboard keeps getting stuck and its making typing no longer fun :/

Written Fantasies

Summary: ^^ the ask Pairing: Eddie x Reader Trigger Warnings: Smut / Embarrassment / hands on throats - no chocking Content Warnings: Diary Reading / blow jobs / impoliteness / shoe frontage / demands / deep throating / reader masturbation

MY EDDIE MASTERLIST BABY!!!!!!!

The space was as recognisable as the back of his hand, and as comforting as his denim vest: lightly coloured walls, cabinets around the room, shelves and counter tops filled trinkets and lifes memorabilia: photos of events, pretty candles, books, small trinkets of days out, wrist bands and broken watches that simply just meant too much.

Things changed every time he entered this space: photos changed frames, boxes gained new records, the cassette piles grew, and the books changed order.

Eddie clocked - while laying on your bed waiting for you to come back from your shower - that not only had the books changed but new ones were added. when he sat up to take a better look: there were 4 books, all identical sat up together leaning on a pile of published books.

The 4 were pink, all the same size, some slightly thicker, one especially thinner. All with individual dates written into their spines: 1983, 1984,1985, 1986. He weren't no idiot, his brain sorted that they were diaries.

He felt a twinge of pride for you to have the left out on display - almost like trophies, proud of your past. He knew a lot about you but you'd seemed to have never told him you wrote a diary. Eddie knew it was standard procedure you don't read people diary: just as you don't snoop in artists sketch books or dungeon masters binders. But who would he be kidding if he said he didn't wanna read it.

He thought a moment, concentrating and recognising the shower was still running. He didn't have to think too much, the boy was running on curiosity alone. Sat up on the edge of your bed, he leant over and pulled 1986 into his hands.

It started with him just flicking the pages: most of it empty; a few loose sheets tucked into the back; a pen clipped to the elastic closer. The filled side of the book was set out meticulously: a yearly planner already almost filled with exams, cheer practice, birthdays, appointments, dates with Eddie, every Tuesday marked with Hideout at 7, every odd Friday marked Hellfire!.

There was this warmness in his heart, knowing his life was just as important to you as it was for him. He believed every I love you, but know he understood every I love you.

He flicked through the book more: budget planners, goal pages, period trackers, and the body. Filled with your typical too-curly-to-read handwriting, every page filled line for line. Some sitting half empty signifying the end of an entry.

Eddie couldn't possibly understand what you had to write about for long that you wouldn't just tell him or your friends.

He found the dog eared page, the scruffily written date marking yesterday. Eddie smiled to himself, feeling a little giddy. He knew he shouldn't but he really couldn't stop himself.

As he read down the page: a recall of your date to the record store and diner, small notes of your gushing over Eddie's chivalry (he always thought holding doors open and little pet names were usual things), a detailed explanation of his outfit and how you loved it (he read that a few times, remember to wear his little thigh harness around you more often.). And as he continued to read, the writting felt less confident, as though there as a topic waited to be hinted at.

He skipped over to the next page and down it, finding a few words grabbing his eyes: touch myself, embarrassing, chocked, him, daddy.

His eyebrows rested in his hairline, eyes almost leaving his skull, the warmth on his checks wasn't imagined. He jumped back a few lines:

Jesus I feel 14 again. I dont know why he does this to me. I see him everyday, and yet im still pinning over him like he's some untouchable deity.

He reads down

We have sex so much but like every night I end up touching myself thinking about- its so embarrassing! I feel like ive been poisoned!! literally none of my friends are like this about their boyfriends!

yeah we all talk about sex but they all have usual sex and normal fantasies but like I feel like a deviant. if I ever told anyone what I really want they'd all look at me so weird

but if I think about sex with him about him all I can think of is his hands and his lips and his voice! and if Im actually honest with myself, all I want is him. I cant stop. ive got into this habit of thinking about him before I go to bed and like every night I touch myself to him.

literally seem like I cant just have him- and I so can but I want so much more!

like if I really thought about it: I'd love him to just use me, do whatever. He could fuck me, make me fuck him, cum in me, chock me, spit on me and I'd be so fucking happy!

Or like, my brain keeps thinking to what if we're fucking and someone hears or we're almost gonna get caught and it turns me on so much! I feel like a pervert.

Eddie felt himself hold his breath.. he was no prude, under his bed was riddled with lost porn mags, he know a lot about kinks and fetishes but something about hearing from you - sweet, quite, calm you- shit! He was getting all flustered.

And like also! keep calling him Daddy in my mind too - I dont know where thats come from but it feels so right! I just really want him to just have his way with me. I dont know how on earth I tell him this. this is so embarrassing.

Eddie was transfixed by your confessions: the sound of the water had slipped his ears. Let alone, he hadn't heard the floor creak and wind chance as you entered the room.

"Jesus babe! You scared me- can't make a guy jump like that!" He yelped, the towel hitting the bed making him jump back into real time.

You laughed at him at first... until your eyes danced around him... and what he had in his hand. You didnt need to ask to know. And almost instantly you felt your body tense, mind go blank and cheek redden. Hands sat in on each other, lips rolled in, eye popping out almost. "Um-"

Confident as ever, he laid back into your pillows, straightening out his legs, "Didn't know you thought like this, Sweetheart.." He started reading, "Kinda want him to fill me until hes dry-"

You leapt onto him - to be honest the word doesn't cut it. You practically jumped on him, trying to grab the book from him but he was swift... dodging your hands artfully as he continued reading. His light and teasing voice was harmonised by your loud commands for him to stop. The room had laughter too: Yours was embarrassment and his was humour.

After a particularly wobbly Eddie! he put the book down, giving you a perfect moment to sling it back onto your cabnit. "Please stop." You frowned.

"Awe sorry baby," He laughed, pulling you down for a cuddle, "It's really hot though." You whined, "It is! Fuck babe," He sighed, "I really didn't think you'd wanna do anything like that!" It surpassed you how he had this ability to never be ashamed or embarrassed about anything. He dipped his head into your neck, "Like being chocked, filled with my cum. fuck, even messy..."

"Shut up!" You leant up, hands flying to his face, coving his mouth and you were straddled to his hips. "I can't believe you- I'm so embarassed!"

"Why?" Earnest and lovie as he moved your hands down.

"You were never meant to find out..."

"Why, you know im into anything?"

"Embarassing."

"No its not."

"yes, it is."

"You know," he started rubbing your thighs, "I'd love to fuck you dumb, fill you up, have you all messy-"

Now you'd be lying if you said he wasn't affecting you- you were embarrassed but so secretly turned on. Your tummy tensed, the blood went to your head, your thighs stiffened. But still your embarrassment was bigger, "Stop making fun of me!"

"Baby baby baby" He cooed, pulling your hands from your face, "I promise i'm really not."

You whined at him, he mimicked you back, pulling you down for a delicate honest kiss. It was deep and slow, him offering his truth to you. And who wouldn't melt into that? His hands now found your hip and your neck, in to your lips his mumbled "Roll over."

You gasp as he rearranges you both, your back now to the bed, "Wanna try something." He sat up continuing, "We can't your little sexual fantasies now-" You squirm in embarrassment, "But" He began stroking your cheek in efforts to pull you out your head. "I wanna try something new.""

He leant down planting a sweet kiss to your lips though you tried to chase him for a second, he was already moving down into your neck, planting even sweeter ones there. You could never stay quiet for his sightly chapped lips and heavy hands - small mewls slipped from you. "Good girl." Quiet, practically breathed from Eddie.

"We can't try the public-people-home stuff, but" another neck kiss, "I do.." another kiss to the other side, "really like the idea" a kiss under your ear, "of having you fully submitted" a kiss to the shell of your ear "to me"

The way you gasp makes Eddie sure he's hit gold with you. As he talks, your hand in his hair pulls and squeezes more, "How about," He moves along to kiss your cheek, "I get you on your knees" Another kiss, "no pillow, because desperate whores don't deserve kind treatment." A light kiss to your lips, "And I let you blow me?" Another kiss, "But" Kiss "I'll be holding your head," He was now resting on his forearms, fingers lost in your hair, "Pushing and pulling you exactly how I want?" Another light kiss met with a hearty pull of your hair, "Fill that little mouth up with my cum."

God you were in heaven - how did you manage to get a boy like him. All you felt you could do was nod at him. A tap of your thigh and you were on the floor kneeling between his legs as he sat on the edge of your bed.

Looking up at him, the shy coy expression fell naturally on you, "Pretty girl, aren't you?" He complimented. "Get on with it then." It was like a switch was flipped.

Excitedly, you get his belt and jeans off. His dick was hard and pretty as ever - not too big but a little wide, a more red tint than the rest of him already bleeding pre cum.

You got personal with it, licking the beed off, replacing it with a kiss. Eddie couldn't help the sigh - you ruin him on the daily no matter what you do. You could get lost playing with his head. He helped by tucking your hair behind your ears, keeping his hands on your lower head and jaw.

The kisses turn into kitten licks met with you looking up at him, his spaced out satisfied look made you smile, "Shit- open your mouth for me."

Sat up a bit more, the head of is cock resting on your lower lip, palms lost behind his calves: you were ready to try something you never thought you'd get to. The hands in your hair pushing you down slowly, and pulled you back up even more delicately - he giving both of you the space to gauge how yous felt.

"Suck it a bit harder" You did. "fuck-you love this, don't you?" You nod.

It was really all he needed - he didn't even need verbal confirmation, just the feel of your nails in the backs of his legs and how your eyes were rolled back and closing was enough, not to mentions the light noises in your throat. He pushed you down with more force, hands now cupping your cheeks and jaw.

He didn't make you deep throat him - neither of you needed to go that far at the moment. The half of his dick that was still straining your jaw send your brains both tumbling.

Eddie yanked you off him with a rough tug to your hair pulling a throat whine out of you, "Shit babe- you're a little slut aren't you?"

You nodded dumbly, "For you- love you."

"I love you too," A thumb stroked your cheek, "Daddy loves you."

Maybe it was the name. Maybe it was the humiliating reminder he had read you diary. Maybe it was the whispering in the empty quiet house. Maybe it was just him. But you were sure he'd just written you off to hell. You felt a beed of slick drop from your cunt.

And Eddie practically felt it too: he could see the haze covering your pretty eyes and the cheeky smile that covered your face.

A thumb toyed with your lip, he continued, "Gotta get you a little collar with my name on it." And with that you basically purred at him. Eddie was sure he was lost in you as you started to barely suck his thumb.

He'd never had you so spaced and floaty. Sure you've both spoken through sex before but nothing like this, nothing so painfully skilled in what the other actually needs to hear. Sex had never felt so possessive until right now.

The sight of you both was like it was from a porno: you, puffy lipped, half lidded eyes and big breaths; Eddie, pointed look, panting, loved up eyes.

The other hand dropped from your cheek and sat around your neck back - the pressure alone made your eyes flutter - and the sight went straight to his dick.

He popped his thumb out your mouth and brung you up for a dirty, messy, deep kiss. No coordination, just lust. Teeth smacking teeth, uncomfortable postures, hands gripping and clawing where ever they could.

He pulled away, standing up as if to leave. But you whine is stopped when you see he leant against your cabinet. Very idolly, he picked up the diary searching for the place he left off on, commanding a "Come here" using his fingers to make a curling motion, not even bothering to look up at you. "Crawl" He sneers almost as you go to get up.

Granted the space wasn't so big so the crawl was more of an awkward on-you-knees- shuffle but boy did that embarrassment climb back up inside you. If this was with anyone else, the pang of embarrassment woulda been too much, but something in Eddies low murmured tone did something totally new to you. "You're a good little pet, aren't you?"

His eyes never left the book in front of him: flicking through pages, scanning for the right sentence. He began reading off again. Completely as though it was the Sunday news paper and not your kinkiest secret fantasies.

"Eddie stop-"

"You know thats not my name." Eyes still in the book, tone stern and cold. You positioned on your claves between his legs, just waiting. "Thought you liked this? I know this isn't as good as being caught but its pretty close, right?" Finally he looks over.

The sudden feeling of something under you made you squirm, "Go on," He continued, "Get yourself off while I read your silly little diary."

The feeling that swelled in your belly was indescribable. It was overwhelming, unignorable and life changing. Like a duckling to its mother, you blindly listened: beginning to slowly rub yourself on the top of his foot.

"Suck my cock too, Sweetheart." He completely disregards you, finally finding his place on the pages. But he didn't start reading until he could feel your lips kiss his cock head.

You try to loose yourself in kissing him and the weight on your tongue but the perching reminder of what he is reading keeps pulling you out. The blood in your ears and the cotton in your brain were getting thicker.

You felt a ring or two pull on the strands of your hair, your gasps causing you to suck his in harder. You felt the rings apply more of a push at certain points of Eddies reading.

It's all sort of too dirty to really feel like its real life. Nobody really experiences this stuff right? Like it's all just movie magic? Clearly not. Clearly somehow you'd hit the jackpot. Somehow in small little irrelevant Hawkins in the mid 80s, you'd met the jack pot.

The sound of a book hitting a surface pulls you from your slack, readjusting yourself back to the present, you felt two hands play with your hair with more intent.

"Fuck-you sure know how to suck a dick, don't you?" He tucked some behind your ear, making you look up at him "Who taught you that?"

"You-da-daddy." Jumbled delivery thanks to the cock in your mouth.

"Sorry couldn't hear you."

"da-daddy" You tried, but sadly coming out more like 'dabby' thanks to the 5 inch obstruction in your throat.

The palms by your ears tighten, "good" It was almost like an extended sigh, "You gonna take it? Tap me if it's too much, yah?" Serious and caring, you nod.

"Yes" You respond to the eyebrow raise, "Yes daddy."

"Good little thing, aren't you?" Another tuck of your hair, and he pulled your head back in opposition to his hips going forward. He was using you clearlessly, not yet pushing you down as deep as he could, but rather just enjoying your lightness.

The room enters a soundtrack of hisses and hums, some slurps and some groans.

"I told you to get yourself off." It wasn't rude but you felt like you were being told off. Your heart pinged in your chest.

It was annoying how good it felt. Yes your knees stung and the carpet has turned into staples but who cared. The hands behind your ears making you deep throat him were heaven, the foot under your clit was heaven, Eddies musky smell was heaven.

Hums and hisses turned into the sound of fabric rubbing and small 'fuck's and 'shit's. And at this rate the streams of dribble coming off your chin and too the floor was definitely anything but disgusting.

Looking up at him and seeing him looking down, heaven too. "Gonna cum in your mouth." You really couldn't help the whorish whine. "Don't swallow it."

Something about that single demand got you were you needed it too. The swelling between your legs seemed to his its peak, the sheen of sweat tripped and your body felt like it was burning. Finger burring into his thighs, tummy tensed: you came over his foot, eyes rolled into the back of your skull.

Eddie using this as the perfect moment to use you. Seeing a moment where you'd given him your everything, he gripped you harder and thrusted deeply into your throat.

Still in your post orgasm haze, the 2 boney hands drag you up by your arm pits, a leg helps keep you stood. "Open." You couldn't even see him at the moment, but you knew behind the black was a man staring at you with all his love.

So you did as he told. Mouth open, cum threatening to spill, "Good, swallow." There was a hand to your throat, and them butterflies danced again. And then there was a light press to your lips that helps bring your eyes back open.

Neither of you could help getting lost a bit in the other - this was a big step, a big new, a good thing too! Eddie broke your moment off and tucked you into his chest, coddling you.

"I love you"

"I-love- you too"

He laughed at your breathiness. "Can we have an actual conversation about this now"

"Gimme a minute- I think my brains all mush."

He laughed again and gave a kiss to your hair.

#help I wrote this all out and it didnt save and I could look at this point for like 2 weeks after. #but she is done!! #I hope ive done your ask well #this was fun!!!! #relocated heads ask #Eddie munson #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson smut #Eddie Munson fluf #Eddie Munson soft #stranger things smut #Eddie munson fanfiction #joesph Quinn smut #Eddie Munson ask #joesph quinn #st4 #Eddie Munson headcanons #joesph Quinn fluff #joesph Quinn fanfiction

[levmada]

hello! how r u doing?

can u write something angsty with either no comfort or comfort at the end (whatever u want). basically, reader has been having a pretty shitty week and has been working nonstop, and is the type to not about what's bothering them until they can't contain it anymore or they're calm enough to talk about it because they know they can get snappy and say some very sharp words that can be very hurtful. levi of course knows that, because he is our observant pookie, and leaves the reader alone, just acts normal. one night, let's say levi maybe says something snarky or whatever, that the reader has been some pretty bad attitude which is unlike them, and usually reader wouldn't take his words seriously and know that he's perhaps trying to help them open up. this time, it doesn't go the wau it's supposed to, and reader just fully snaps at levi and say some very harsh, petty and hurtful words to him. the rest is up to u!

and thank u btw, i love ur content❤️

yes, yes i can. ty for such a detailed rq :) this became angstier than intended😭but it's ok bc it was 10x more painful to write being mean to levi.

reader/us also has a distinct personality kind of built off the way you described, so i hope it's what you expect😅

➥ pairing: Levi x gn!reader

➥ c/w: college!au, Levi pov, Levi not realizing he has trauma for 1400 words, apologizing, selective mutism...?, heavy hurt and some comfort

➥ wc: 1.4k

If ever he ranked cleaning activities in his mind (which he has), organizing isn’t very high, but it doesn’t occur to him not to help you out with the little things when your week has been poisoned with the dual evils, shitty and exhausting.

Ever since you got back from class, you’ve sat there at your desk. He’s kept you in the corner of his eye, and that same scowl from an hour ago is still there, illuminated by the light of your laptop. You’ve paid it more attention than to anything else—which is not at all, even to your basic needs. 

It’s best to give you space when that look is on your face, and has and will continue to, but not when it comes to eating and-or sleeping. Other than that, he’s content in the background. Whatever he does to help out, you always notice, and tell him thank you with a weak smile, but not today—today when you look particularly like you’re at your wit’s end.

When he finished organizing the apartment (including the fridge), he bypassed your desk and sat on his computer playing solitaire for a solid half-hour. Inevitably, he gets bored, and he’s giving you as much time as he’s willing to before he drags you out to eat something.

Unsatisfied without the job completely done, he rolls up his sleeves and starts at the end of your desk by emptying your pencil sharpener, making a face at how full it is.

To his satisfaction, your focus hardly wanes. Which is good, but he knows how you like everything anyway. With an undistinguishable but distinct fondness, he notes your quirks; even the way you hold your pen melds with your existence in his mind. 

Or no, maybe that’s wrong. You’re a part of him; not a visitor, or even a resident, of his heart and mind.

“Levi, I need those pencils; leave them there.”

You’re referring to the plastic tin of a few colored pencils in his hand, which sat near the middle beside your computer. He looks at you, but you’re definitely serious about it, so he sets it back down.

“If you say so.”

You say nothing and go back to your work. Skipping the tin (which he wants to wash because of all the gross graphite smears and shavings at the bottom), he takes the pencil case beside that, and pops it open. An eraser found its way into a sea of colored pencils somehow somehow, as well as crayons—probably Hange. Not too long ago you had them over working on a class project. He starts picking out these imposters.

“Levi,” you huff, your expression severe as you look daggers at him. “Just leave it alone.”

“Tch, you’re kidding. You’d rather I waste my time sorting the bookshelf in reverse alphabetical order instead? That’s stupid, so why?”

He always gets ‘Are you okay?’ wrong, but this time you turn towards him with your fist tightly curled over your notebook. He doesn’t look startled, but he barely catches the beginning of your revile.

“Stop messing around!—I just told you to stop fucking with it, so quit being a fucking idiot and get out of my space!! This is so stupid, do you not see I’m busy!? ‘Cuz you clearly can’t listen!”

Ironically the angrier you sound, the less emotion shows on his face. Only at the end—you already look guilty—amidst silence like a bomb’s fallout, he wears the scowl of a frightened animal.

He waits until your lips start moving to turn around and leave. 

At the door, he stops again with his hand clutching the knob, and glares at you over his shoulder. When your lips go to form his name, he slams it harder than necessary.

This is so stupid.

That was far from the first time someone has yelled at him in his life, and besides, is getting yelled at not an experience absolutely everyone’s had?

Even so, he can’t seem to make himself do fuck-all besides quietly sit, sit in your dark kitchen at the dining table, his legs folded to his chest. He feels like a gargoyle—odd, ancient, and unthinking. 

Maybe he just never expected you would ever lose your temper, which is naive of him.

He doesn’t know what to do, until, your voice speaking softly makes him bolt up straight. 

“I’m sorry, can I turn this on…?” you ask softly.

For now, your profile is merely a black shadow in the doorway, with your back illuminated by the one in the tiny hall. The switch you’re gesturing to would light up above the oven, rather than the whole room.

He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. But it’s not a no. 

Despite the nature of turning on a light, it feels so slow.

He must’ve sat a while, because he even cringes, blinking feverishly. Before his vision even adjusts, the guilt etched into your expression is almost painful for him to look at, like a cavernous gorge shoveled into the earth miles wide and deep. You’re holding something to your chest.

“I’m so sorry for snapping like that. You didn’t do anything wrong at all. I’m so sorry, Levi. I’m never, ever too busy—fuck, I was frustrated and I never should take it out on you, not in any way, ever. I’m the one who’s an idiot.”

As you speak, you come until you’re by the table, standing like a magnet constantly being repelled from it. 

Then you set what you were holding down in front of him—one, an expensive piece of paper (the kind that bends, not tears) with a drawing of some sort he doesn’t want to look at right now, and a rice cake wrapped in clingy wrap. 

His favorite. 

“I’m so so sorry,” you continue apologizing profusely. At this point your eyes are wet, but they keep darting away, with your nails surely leaving half-moon-shaped indents in your knuckles. You pray very quietly, “I’ll do anything ‘cuz you’re everything.”

Wide-eyed, he can’t seem to respond except for a raw sound in his throat after you say that. An instinct seems primal, as much as pumping blood is, that if he says anything, the likelihood that you’ll leave him will increase an unknown amount. 

Normally he’s so calm under pressure, and he didn’t say anything before either—you’ll get the wrong idea. The best thing he can think of is to robotically slide the offerings closer.

You’re still trying not to cry when you go. 

He stays there, just as he was, for another little while. He’s not really feeling anything, but at the same time, he’s running out of breath from the effort to calm down. 

Ugh…

The way you clearly felt is probably what you get, but he doesn’t want that for you anyway. Even if you did mean any of it.

But you didn’t.

It’s midnight or so—too early for Levi to usually be asleep but very late for him to be coming to bed—when he taps the bedroom door open with a few fingers and slinks inside. To prevent from waking you up, he did most of his business in the bathroom in the dark. 

It now helps him make out the shape of you under the covers on your side of the bed. He comes like a wraith, so much that he’s near-silent crawling into bed beside you, and using the edge of the covers to slip under.

Your back is in front of him. He wants to make sure you know it’s okay… but he doesn’t know how. He closes his eyes and rests his forehead right between your shoulder blades and the thin material of your tank top, the only place you’re touching. You’re warm, you smell good. 

By the slight hitch in your breathing then, you know he’s here. 

After a while, he brings his hand up to your waist, or rather a bit before it. It’s not long before you gently rest your fingers on top of his. He lets them slot in-between.

His eyes are heavy. He doesn’t bother opening them as he reaches around, bringing you his way, with your head nestled in his chest. That’s the only time you make a move, since he made it clear it’s okay for you to.

He holds you tightly and breathes you in. You both relax.

Levi masterlist | main masterlist

#levi x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #captain levi x you #levi drabble #levi ackerman drabble #levi ackerman oneshot #levi ackerman fluff #captain levi x reader #aot oneshot

[harmless-pest]

((HEY TURNS OUT I LIED AGAIN

I thought i didn't write down any of my plans for this blog, but it seems like I did? so here's some character bios I wrote and the synopsis of what was gonna happen in epilogue (unfortunately without visual direction)

The following content was written in 2017, only meant to be read by myself and is mostly unedited

LORE

The underground is going empty. Slowly. Mostly he stays at charas grave, bc he's a fukkin flower and would die without sunlight. The only other place with light is the palace and there's too much traffic there in and out of the underground. He wants to avoid people after what he did. Not that anyone remembers any of it, resets or the god thing (it was kinda cool he doesn't super regret that. More later) but he feels like. Bad about it and doesn't know how to deal with THAT baloney. he'll still go out every now and then though to see the state of the UG, explore abandoned places, hear word of the surface from locals who decided it wasn't for them or just came back to visit. None of them know who he is, but some are familiar with a weird flower they've seen popping out of the ground and suddenly disappearing. He absolutely idolizes frisk for saving the underground, doing what he and chara never could. But after a while alone with himself he realizes that frisk just coincidentally came at the right time. First he idolized chara, then frisk, and then he realized HE was the one who became a GOD and broke the barrier himself and sure frisk helped but he could have done it on his own! He's charismatic enough! Who needs frisk, they aren't even that great or cool! They had the power to reset and didn't even do anything cool with it! They went around one whole time and that was it, they weren't even interested in the experimentation and mind games... He gets very lonely without frisk. He only knew them for a day but they were kind and forgiving to him unlike anyone else has ever been. He misses them. Sometimes frisk will come back to visit but he'll hide in the other buttercups, ashamed he's a flower again and afraid to talk to them. He's fuckin constantly monologuing he's so lonely. Without someone to cut him off he just keeeeeeps gooooooing He kidnaps absolutely everyones mannerisms and gets so mad if you point it out He's been around for 2-3 months in reality, which is a fuckton of time for resetting esp compared to frisks single day. He had to get real bored to stop for so long and let it all play out. He's just glad he chose to stop on a timeline where everyone was relatively happy so they could all be saved. Where is chara? He doesn't know. He still misses them but he doesn't care much to see them again anymore. Chara wasn't that great, but they also weren't that bad. They were his best friend and he idolized them. Chara was sure they were the angel sent to free the underground and he believed them. He hates what happened but he doesn't blame chara for it. For a minute when he 180s on them he does! But he's just angry and the more he thinks about it he can't stay mad. They were just kids. They didn't know. this is what they get. He doesn't care for humans one bit. He's only met 2 and the rest tried to kill him on sight. As a whole he doesn't hate all humans, but he certainly doesn't trust any of them. He was once obsessed with humans, its kind of like having your favorite celebrity be a jerk but worse. Part of the reason he stays underground is to avoid them, but touristy humans go down there sometimes so it doesn't always work. Many times when he goes to ask how the surface is, its to affirm his beliefs about humans. And often the bias in the underground is on his side. Grillbys is still open down there so he mostly goes there for Intel.

The vague amount of time it’s been since chara and asriel died is fairly short. Short enough for chara to know snowdrake, short enough for chara to have instigated the gyftrot thing and introduced the underground to christmas

THE GREAT ANALYSIS OF FLOWEY

Primary motivations: fear of death, fear of loneliness. Fear of death trumps all, as being with friends puts him on the surface where theres too many people and things that have killed him before.

He’s dependent, picks a favorite person and latches on. Personality is largely a construct of traits he pulled from others. 

He’s self-obsessed in that he’s constantly analyzing his own behavior and thinking about what he’s doing. May be an asriel trait refined by ages of carefully shaping himself to behave in certain ways at certain times. He’s not actually that snappy and quick to anger? At least not normally. He’s in a bad mood lately but when he wants to, he can stay perfectly composed. The threats are just a mechanism to get others to fuck off.

He’s an open book who will keep going on about himself if prompted, and if he’s not trying to hide something from a specific person. Exacerbated by the fact that he’s been talking to himself for so long.

Nasty cognitive dissonance. He will carefully look at all potential issues and outcomes but will find excuses and land on the one that benefits himself/his desires. (ie, he wont admit it but he knows theres nothing really keeping him away from frisk)

He’s been living a long time “without consequences” yeah but he’s extremely critically aware of all consequences. Every action he takes is calculated, he’s just roleplaying 100% of the time. Now that he can’t reset, there are consequences, so he’s very afraid of doing things and fucking up. Part of the reason why he doesnt want to see frisk is because he can’t believe they like him and he thinks that if they learn more about him, they’ll stop. He doesnt know they know everything about him. Frisk is his special person, he cant stand to lose them.

A lot of this is devoted to him figuring out who he is as a person

Doesn’t care for life but fears death because he doesn’t know what’s going to happen without a soul: he fears the unknown

Has the patience of a god but he doesn’t like puzzles that much? He wants the story not the challenge, whereas chara and frisk enjoy the challenge (puzzle enjoyment goes chara>frisk>flowey). Like me, he’ll do the same thing over and over again for hours until it works, but if he gets stuck at a puzzle for more than 30 minutes he’s gotta leave for a while out of frustration. That isn’t to say he’s bad at puzzles, in fact spending so much time with papyrus has made him pretty good at them! At least in theory.

On the surface he has fucking AWFUL crippling panic attacks and he finds it hard to do anything or go anywhere, at least without frisk. 100% dependency and he hates it

First reaction when people do things for him is “no this is bad and I hate it” even if he likes it actually. He doesn't realize he does it until its too late and he's too stubborn to admit anything after the fact. Its a defense mechanism after being taken advantage of, developed because he's so complacent and fine with anything

Unrealistically high and vague expectations placed on him all his life (ur gonna do something big, ur gonna change the world, etc)

His feelings toward Frisk

Theyre his favorite person right now, he’s obsessed with them and loves everything they do. This will wear off and he’ll resent them for a while until he manages to get over it and stop idolizing them. The spite could come out of them having “moral highground” and gently scolding him over little things that add up over time, out of them taking care of themselves poorly because they prioritize others, and by the fact that they’re just as bad as he is as it turns out. He’s afraid theyll stop loving him since he can’t love them. Hes fairly candid about how he cant love them, even asking them if theyre aware he’s just using them for attention and being a leech. What he doesnt know is that frisk is using him as well to stop chara, so once he finds out about that there will probably be some kind of relief.

His feelings toward Chara

They were always the right one, the smart one, as much as he loved them and was fascinated by them and loved to learn things from them, he really hated that part of them deep down though he never snapped and shared it. In the future he will since he’s less tolerant.

His feelings towards the relationship those two have

He’s jealous that they’re so close and know so much about each other. They’re really closer than any two people ever could be since they’ve shared a body for so long. There’s also such a strange mix of love and hate between them that he really can’t read their relationship. He resents the idea of being the third wheel so deeply and he’s particularly spiteful of chara for this since he loves frisk.

His FEELINGS

He super do have them, eh?? He super is actually just very traumatized and lonely and confused eh?? Almost as if he absolutely can and does still love everyone, he’s just detached himself from it. Something very easy to do.

HOW THE FRISK BE

They’re kind of a little bitch and a goth. Rebellious teen days now!! They’re hard to read which can either work for or against them. They don’t really give a shit in a large part about much of anything, especially not now when they’re very concerned with themselves and their problems. They don’t get along with humans or much of anyone their own age for this reason.

Resetting was largely on their hands and they got pretty fucked up by it. Chara did encourage them to do some shit, it wasnt helped that flowey who had forgotten about them was encouraging them too. It was just a bunch of irresponsible kids playing games with peoples lives. There’s also a touch of frisk getting to points on the surface where things are new and changing which scares them into resetting for fear of the unknown future. 

Frisk thought everything was fine until they got to the end of all the genocide stuff, that’s when chara lost it. In the whole “you think theres no consequences for this shit u pulled” manner and tried to hold frisk to it. It was a 2 souls one body case where they shared equal control, this was the first time neither cooperated. Frisk wasnt immediately freaked out by chara, they’re both friends and frisk knew they were a weirdo. Frisk gave in and “sold their soul” so chara would let them do anything other than sit around in an empty void. Chara played the next game like their regular old friend. Then they killed everyone. That’s when frisk freaked out and realized their friend had lost it. When frisk learned to regret what they did. They reset to a world where their friends could be alive again and fought their hardest, but Chara still had their way. This timeline, Frisk went out of their way immediately to get any kind of protection from chara. All kinds of supernatural charms and tricks to keep ghosts at bay. As a result, it’s been a while since they saw chara. And they miss chara a lot. But they know that chara watches them and is waiting for the moment when frisk lets their guard down. 

Frisk pushes so hard to get flowey to come home with them because they know he’s asriel and they know he knows chara. Maybe he’ll know a way to talk some sense into them. And after everything they did, frisk feels betrayed by chara and can’t call them their best friend. Floweys the only person they know wouldn’t do that, he’s faithful to the end.

Frisk is a fixer though, they still love everyone despite what they did and feel genuinely sorry for the way they fucked up. Including chara after all theyve done. It breaks their heart that they can’t play with chara anymore

When frisk finally explains all of this to flowey, chara’s sitting there busting in loudly at every chance and every disagreement like the fucker they are and flowey’s doing everything in his power to tune them out and just watch frisk’s hands

Backstory and reasons why they climbed the mountain are unknown. They will not under any circumstances talk about their old life, which concerns some people, but prying accomplishes nothing. They try to act as though nothing bad ever happened to them to make them want to climb a mountain no one ever returns from, because life is good now and they’ve got loving friends and family. Even other humans who knew Frisk before don’t know much about them since they never really spoke. For Frisk, pretending it never happened is as good as it never happening, at least so they try to think. But they’ll have some triggers, just need to figure out what.

Frisk talks in their sleep, however it’s only very quiet nonsense gibberish. This shocks flowey, as he didn’t think they were capable of talking at all. It makes him more curious about their past too.

THE CHARA SITUATION

Are they soulless? It’s hard to say since really theyre nothing but a soul, just fractured all to hell and lingering long after they should. I still like the idea of their soul being a little infused with bits form asriels soul too

Before the underground, they were the youngest of a large family that mistreated them. They went underground after the death of their mother. In the underground they were best friends and great siblings with asriel. They hung out with kids they shouldnt have though. They werent treated super great underground either, as a human. They and asriel both got up to shit they shouldnt have.

HOW MUCH DOES EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT FRISK AND FLOWEY

Sans: Frisk assumed he knew everything already so they told him that they and flowey could reset. Didn’t tell him that they’ve killed everyone multiple times

Papyrus, Undyne, toriel, asgore: Doesn’t know

Alphys: let in a little on the reset business

The next section of the document covers the meetings, which were all made into finished comics, and therefore will be skipped.

SURFACE

(note from present Stem: this is all way more uncooked and hard to read than i thought it might be)

Flowey has nightmares that charas coming to kill him. Notably one comic where chara in shadow approaches and then it’s revealed as frisk

The inciting action

Kids make fun of Frisk for being “dumb” and flowey for being a flower and never wanting to be outside (he needs a roof over his head). At one point he snaps back a little too much and loses it a little. Frisk, as a result, tries to stuff him in their bag but this doesn’t calm him down. He blows up the backpack with magic and hurts a bunch of kids in the crossfire, including frisk

Toriel

She walks into the room where flowey is. They say hi to each other. Then she asks if he's feeling well. He's confused, but says he's fine. She says that's good. Then she says he's been behaving strangely lately. Floweys upset by this. “Did my acting get worse or can you see straight through me?” she giggles, “I think its your acting, dear.” she asks him what's wrong, if he's not happy on the surface. He says no, he's happy and he never wants to go away again. He decides that he’s comfortable enough with toriel to tell her this, she was once his mom after all, and in a way she is again. He's confused. He doesnt know what to do while frisk is away at school, since he can't join them after he had a weird episode and threatened other kids. He can play with papyrus and that's fun, but he doesnt really want to do that. He doesnt want to leave or go anywhere without frisk really. Toriel asks if that's why he's confined himself to this little pot. He doesn't really know, and he doesn't want to admit being scared. Toriel catches on though. She sees that he really is just a regular kid in there, and a kid at that since its hard to tell with him being a flower, and hes scared of this big world. The underground has always been the same, small and hardly changing even after all the years since they were trapped down there. By contrast the surface is huge and full of new people and everything changes all the time, and it’s scary. By now she's caught on that he has issues with humans. She says that he can trust anyone in this house, but she understands if frisk is the only one he can really count on. He finally cracks. He admits that hes afraid of frisk getting sick of him since he's such a pathetic mess like this and can't do anything about it. Toriel tells him that frisk never would. They love him too much. But if he's still that afraid, then he needs to try and be better eventually. Sitting around in that pot all day waiting for frisk to come back won't do it.

Alphys

Frisk finally breaks because flowey is being so insufferable and snaps at him. They both feel extremely bad, so toriel says that flowey needs to stay somewhere else for a while (because he won’t get along with anyone else in the house lately so sending frisk away is silly). Flowey hesitantly agrees to it and requests to stay with alphys and undyne. Which means i finally have to try writing for undyne lol. He probably hung out with undyne during frisk’s gym classes since he can’t exactly exercise as a flower. But he can’t go to work with her because he isn’t allowed at the school, so if he goes to work with anyone, it’s with alphys. She might take some time off for his sake too because she wants to get to know him and while she doesn’t fully understand why he’d go out of his way to choose her to stay with, she appreciates it. They watch some anime and al finally gets a chance to pry at him scientifically with a lot of question asking. He holds back on life questions except for ones that pertain only to this timeline and are least incriminating. Watching anime on netflix one night while the autoplay is loading he suddenly says he’s asriel. Alphys chokes on her popcorn or something and jumps to stop the autoplay like “what did you just say?!” “Don’t tell toriel. Or asgore. Please. don’t tell anyone.” ‘i won’t! I promise i won’t say anything to anyone!b-b-but did you really say youre--” “prince asriel. The one who absorbed the soul of the first human to fall underground and got killed on the surface” “b-b-b-b-b-but h-how is that possible?? Y-y-y-you don’t… you d-don’t have a s-soul, i-if you were--” “the flowers in asgore’s garden were growing out of my dust. That determination brought me back to consciousness.” “o-o-oh my g-g-god, I-i…” he finally looks up at her in the eye “alphys, you’re going to take this really badly. I’m gonna tell you everything. If you’re ready. I’m warning you now because this is going to get…. Really… really dark. And it’s going to make you feel awful. But you at least deserve to know. If you aren’t ready, I’ll stop. But there’s no promise I’ll ever be willing to say this all again.” alphys centers herself and turns to face him “i’m ready”

CHARA the first time they see chara again is shortly after frisk takes him home when chara possesses frisk and stumbles out of bed in the middle of the night. 

he catches them and theyre like “so at long last you caught on to me” 

f: “get out of frisk’s body” 

c: “what makes you think I’m not frisk?” 

f: “they don’t talk like that. no one’s as bad at roleplaying as you are, chara.” 

c*leaves frisk’s body*: “Why that tone, asriel? Are you not surprised to see me? I will admit, I did not think you would take this long to figure it out.” 

f: “I had my suspicions the whole time but you were always pretty well hidden.” 

c:”hm,,, that doesn’t sound right… oh… Oh! You let yourself forget!” 

f:”What are you talking about? why are you possessing frisk’s body” 

c:”Frisk never told you? Our sweet savior of monsterkind has been bad. they reset and reset and reset until they destroyed the entire world and I was happy to let them live in the void they created, the hard earned fruits of their labor, but they would not accept it. So they sold their soul to me in order to reset once again. They tried to fix all their mistakes and make the world as if they had never done any wrong. They have forgotten that their actions have consequences, so I am here to remind them.” 

f: “chara- chara. Chara. They sold their SOUL to you?” 

c: “yes they-” 

f:”did they sign a contract for it?” 

c:”A contract? What? No, of course not. I am a ghost, I don’t have paper-” 

f:”then it’s not legally binding” 

c: “what?” f:”it’s not legally binding! You can’t just take people’s souls, chara!” 

c:” Yes I can! I can? And I did.” 

f:”you’re being ridiculous! Give frisk their soul back and leave them alone!!” 

c:”no! ugh… we will continue this later” and then they leave

--- c: frisk has taken to wearing special charms and making all kinds of wards to keep me away. I don’t think they trust me anymore f: i wonder why

--- f: frisk taught me that anyone can be a better person if they just try, so I’m trying. They want to try too! c: frisk also went about systematically murdering every last one of their friends immediately after that f: chara. ohmygod.

--- c: I’m not going to swear. it’s rude and unintelligent f: it’s more fun tho

Chara makes mention of things they and flowey did in past timelines that were so fun and he can’t remember them, it makes him feel left out

Frisk’s room is covered head to toe in objects and symbols that ward off ghosts and evil spirits. They wear crosses and gemstone rings, they have objects scattered around their room and steal spices from the kitchen that supposedly help, and a circle of salt around their bed. Chara comments later that a lot of the things are meant to keep evil spirits away and therefore don’t actually do anything to them. No one really knows what to say to that

Flowey to frisk after he discovers they were just using him: so i guess… we’re even?  You were no better than me all along?

Frisk shrugs

“But um… i was using you because you loved me. So.. do you really…?”

Frisk frantically shakes their hands and waves their arms to tell him no, then scoops him up in a tight hug

--

Frisk laying in bed after a bad day

“Aw, is someone grumpy because they have too many friends?”

Frisk pushes his pot off the bed to crash down onto the floor while flowey snickers

Frisk has gotten in trouble for texting flowey during class so they have to put their phone away now

*insert some kind of normal convo. Then: frisk. Frisk reply. Reply. Reply. Reply. Reply. (cont.) all with very close together timestamps*

Frisk hours later: <3

*conversation continues as normal*

TO GET BODIES BACK

chara keeps possessing frisk and it drives flowey and frisk up a wall bc they can barely do anything about it other than by being constantly vigilant. theyre both exhausted and sick of it since charas spectral and doesnt run out of energy. and theyre so obnoxious. they go to alphys for help since she knows how to bond souls to things. she asks them why they dont like call an exorcist or something and flowey and frisk both hesitate before admitting they both love chara too much despite how shitty they are. alphys tells them that chara has to accept the body in order to bond to it, and everyone agrees it’s unlikely that they’ll go for anything unlike their actual human body. alphys says she may know something they can do, she just has to call a friend first. she gets on the phone with a mysterious human who they can’t hear on the other side. actually she might give her opener over text and then immediately get a phonecall in response. she opens by bringing up their interest in necromancy, says that she has a ghost, no not a monster ghost, a human ghost, then has to hold the phone back bc they’re screaming on the other side. she calms them down and starts asking about any ways they can think of making a body for someone. she might just tell the two to take off and give them a thumbs up, she’ll text them later. alphys finally gets back to them and tells them they might be able to build a type of hybrid human-monster body for chara, but they need their buried remains and powerful magic in order to do so, and it only makes sense that it be the magic of their parents used to resurrect them. she might sprinkle in that if this works, flowey might be able to get his asriel body back too. of course, nothing is possible if they can’t get chara to agree to all of it. and of course they don’t. their lack of body is punishment, appropriately earned. for them and flowey both. they can’t go back to their bodies just as they cannot undo the wrongs they have done. they cannot escape the consequences of their actions. it would be great if chara said “thats a funny trick to play on god!” flowey tells them that this isn’t some kind of fucked up divine punishment. what they did wasn’t so bad to warrant this. if anything, taking these forms has made them both WORSE. if it were supposed to be punishment they wouldn’t have these chances to get out. he was punishing himself for so long and it didn’t make any difference, but accepting everyone’s help and trying to do better with them DID help him. doesn’t chara want a body back? don’t they miss the ability to feel… anything? don’t they want to live the life they never got a chance to have? chara goes quiet for the first time in their life and undeath. then they agree to it. after that, the three of them go to asgore and toriel to finally break the news that their dead kids are still here. chara doesn’t show themselves, but the point still gets across. they agree to it wholeheartedly and without hesitation the next step is to prepare chara’s body. alphys has a small team of humans helping her out, or maybe just one very enthusiastic one. chara’s body is dug up and there are complements to how well preserved it is, this could be easier than anticipated. a mixture of science and magic is used to heal it and make its human processes function again. just before chara’s to go in frisk tells them that they can’t wait to finally hug them and they’re like “i take it back?? i can’t do this” once in their body chara’s just a clumsy weak little fuck and so very grouchy about having to feel things again.

When asriel gets his body back, the first thing he does is stomp out the old flower. Only frisk notices, it worries them. They try to ask him later but he gets offended like, “what you wanted me to keep it to remind me of my horrible life or something?! You think i need it in case something happens and i have to live in it again? I’d rather die!” the reality is that he thinks he’s cured and better and brand new now that he isnt a flower anymore, but that couldnt be farther from the truth. He’s now convinced hes perfect and can do no wrong which makes him do a lot of wrong

#ooc post

[thekinkyleopard]

Cherophobic

A Sven and Elex Canon Snz Fic

⚠️Content Warning⚠️

Angst, Drugs, Emotional Abuse, Make up Sex,

Domestic Dysfunction, Casual Cold Insert

Description: Elex is withdrawing, he can’t pick up and Sven wants to make their house a home. Elex cracks under pressure and goes on a 3 day bender, and when he comes home, he suffers the worst of it.

Author’s Notes: I wanted something painful this time >:) @aller-geez owns Sven and did the art! It’s not my usual sicky fic, but its definitely been on my mind to write~

Elex shot up from his sleeping position in bed, sweating, head throbbing, his body trembling. He was hot and somehow cold at the same time. His normally numbed demeanor completely swallowed by a sense of hopelessness and anxiety.

Elex cautiously scanned the room, his bleary eyes darting across every corner as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. Sven was nowhere to be found. Panic washed over Elex like a tsunami, amplifying the already pounding headache. He couldn't afford to let Sven see him in this state of withdrawal — it would shatter the image of invincibility he had carefully cultivated.

Biting his lip, Elex mustered every ounce of self-control he had left and staggered towards the mirrored cabinet in the corner of the room. His trembling hands fumbled with the latch until it finally swung open, revealing an array of neatly organized toiletries and medications. He scoured through the contents desperately, hoping to find a hidden stash of cocaine that would temporarily soothe his torment.

To his dismay, there was nothing. Elex cursed under his breath, realizing that his earlier vow to quit had left him void of any reserves. No longer able to rely on the drug for relief of his symptoms.

Elex's heart pounded against his chest as he clutched his sternum, he felt like it was going to explode out of his body, he was short of breath and everything was just heavy. The weight of his addiction bore down on him, its grip tightening with every passing moment.

Feeling the walls closing in around him, Elex stumbled towards the bathroom, his movements unsteady and his mind clouded by withdrawal. The tiles beneath his feet seemed to shift and twist, mocking his feeble attempts to regain control. Summoning the last remnants of determination, Elex turned on the shower faucet, the sound of rushing water drowning out the chaotic thoughts that threatened to consume him. Steam rose from the cascading liquid, hovering in the air like a protective shield against his demons.

As he stripped off his clothes, Elex caught a glimpse of himself in the fogged-up mirror. Sunken green and brown eyes stared back at him, a mere shadow, could he even say he knew the man staring back at him? The hollow cheeks and trembling hands were stark reminders of his descent into darkness. It was a wonder how Sven stayed beside him, or, hardly noticed.

With each step closer to the shower, Elex's heart pounded louder in his chest, a relentless drumbeat that echoed through his entire being. He stepped under the stream of water and gasped as icy droplets dripped down his heated flesh.

The shock of the hot water jolted Elex's trembling body, momentarily numbing the pain and confusion within him. He stood there, under the cascading liquid, hoping that it would wash away not just the physical dirt, but also the emotional grime that clung to his soul. But no matter how hard he scrubbed or how long he stayed beneath the water's embrace, he knew that the stains on his conscience were far more stubborn.

As he let his mind wander, memories flooded back like fragments of a shattered mirror. He remembered the first time he snorted a line of cocaine, he was a young kid and some older gentleman at the circus, offered it to him. He had been skeptical at first but the old man promised him he could fly, so he did it. He'll never forget how it made him feel invincible and alive. Every promise kept as the adults around him laughed and laughed, and the euphoria was fleeting, a cruel illusion that crumbled as quickly as it had come. And now, here he was, drowning in the aftermath of his own choices. He was a kid, but he blamed himself. He blamed God for taking his mom, and he blamed his dad for being an addict too. He felt set up.

Often times the man just felt like an ultimate failure, and it was only a matter of time before Sven eventually saw through him now that they live together. Lost in his thoughts, Elex heard a gentle clear of the throat, spooked the dark green haired man spun around in the shower, a look of horror and rage on his face.

"Its just me!" Sven raised his hands up defensively. "I thought I heard you up so I came to say Good morning and wanted to know if you would help me decorate the living room today," the cat asked gently, his voice sweet this early and almost like he could sense something was in the air. He was being extra, gentle.

"Uh, Yeah," Elex cleared his own throat turning off the water and grabbing his towel. "That's fine, we can do that," Elex's voice trembled as he spoke, his eyes darting around the room, avoiding Sven's gaze. The guilt and shame washed over him in waves, threatening to drown him. But Sven didn't seem to notice the turmoil raging within Elex; he just smiled and nodded, oblivious to the storm that brewed in his companion's soul.

As Elex dried himself off and got dressed, he couldn't help but feel a flicker of gratitude towards Sven. Despite everything, Sven was there for him, offering his unwavering support and love. It was a rare and precious thing, something that Elex didn't feel deserving of. But perhaps, just perhaps, Sven's presence could be the catalyst for change.

Or perhaps, these symptoms were going to drive him into madness, and fuck everything up. He cringed internally and genuinely hoped he could kick this habit. Sven smiled again to break him from the fog, the other could always certainly tell when he was in his own head. "I'll meet you out there after you get dressed?" he more asked than he was telling the other. The green and brown eyed male nodded.

"Yes, meet you out there," they exchanged loving glances, Sven hesitating but moving in to kiss the badger on his cheek regardless. Then it was just Elex left, shuffling slowly to drag his clothes onto his body. He couldnt even be bothered to do his hair, leaving it a displaced mess, just trying desperately to not throw up or pass out. Or both.

Elex plastered a fake smile on his face as he joined Sven in the living room. The walls were bare, waiting to be adorned with pictures and decorations. Sven hummed happily as he sorted through a box of ornaments, his enthusiasm almost contagious if the badger didn't feel like literal walking death. Elex wished he could feel even a fraction of that joy, but all he felt was the gnawing craving for his next fix and deep visceral hatred for himself.

As they worked side by side, Elex couldn't help but steal glances at Sven. How could someone be so pure, so full of light? The contrast between them was stark—Sven, with his vibrant orange and teal colored locks and sparkling orange orbs, emanated an aura of hopefulness, while Elex stood there, a shadow of a man overwhelmed by his own demons.

As they hung the first picture frame on the wall, Elex's hand trembled. He clenched his fist tightly to hide the telltale sign of withdrawal. The voice inside his head whispered seductively to just leave, go get more, just leave. Go get more. His left eye twitched and in the moment he went to set the frame on the nail, it slipped, missed, fell and shattered onto the floor beneath him. That. That is all it took.

"ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME?!" Elex shouted at the top of his lungs, he stomped his foot and reach down grabbing the now broken frame, hucking it further across the room at their living room wall. It snapped into several more smaller pieces, and left a decent sized dent upon the impact spot. Sven stood there for a moment, quietly before his face just fell and he looked over at Elex.

"What the fuck was that?" Sven's voice trembled with a mixture of surprise and concern. He had never seen Elex lose control like this before. The shattered pieces of the picture frame lay scattered on the floor, mirroring the brokenness that now consumed their once peaceful living room.

Elex's breath came in ragged gasps as he tried to steady himself. His hands shook uncontrollably as he struggled to find the words to explain his outburst. His mind raced, searching for an excuse, a justification for his destructive actions. But deep down, he knew there was none. There was only his addiction, his anger, and the mounting desperation that threatened to consume him whole, but admitting it meant admitting defeat. He couldnt do that. He couldnt let Sven know how weak he was, how weak he'd been.

Sven took a cautious step forward, his eyes filled with a mix of worry and sadness. "Elex," he began softly, his voice laced with tenderness, "what's going on? You're pretty normally a living breathing walking lump of anger but this is something new entirely," trying to lighten up the mood a bit with a joke, but it only seemed to make the badger shy further away from him.

Elex turned away from Sven's gaze, unable to bear the disappointment he knew he bestowed upon his mate. This was a disaster. Sven didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve anything of this, he was far too broken for the man to have to deal with. He should be young, enjoying his new home and loving life. Elex was clearly just dragging him down, and further away from his dreams. "I think we need to break up..."

Sven's eyes widened in shock, his mouth agape as he stared at Elex. His heart sank, and a heavy silence settled between them. The air became thick with the weight of Elex's words, suffocating any hopes of happiness that had filled the room earlier. What was this? What had he done? It had been a full year without either of them wanting to break up and run but, this was out of the blue. This, Sven couldnt see coming unlike the rest.

Tears welled up in Sven's eyes as he struggled to find his voice. "What? Why? We just bought a house together what do you MEAN you want to breakup...?" he managed to speak with full composure, trying his own best not to freak out, his voice trembling with a mix of pain and confusion. The vibrant colors that once adorned Sven's world dimmed, replaced by a dark cloud of uncertainty.

Elex turned to face Sven, his own eyes glassy with unshed tears. "I can't do this anymore," he choked out, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn't know what to say truthfully, he froze before he looked away again, tears now falling down his brown and cream colored cheeks. "I hate this whole...Domestic shit, Sven, I want....I want..." His eyebrows furrowed and his face reddened as he did his best to sell the performance. "I want my freedom back, I dont want to be here anymore I'm....leaving," swiftly the man worked to move and get a bag packed hoping to avoid having to hurt Sven any further verbally. Yet, the cat wasnt one to just let the badger off like that, absolutely not. Theyd been together how long and now that theyre FINALLY settling into their new home, he wants to leave?

Sven's heart shattered into a million pieces as he watched Elex pack his bags. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, what he was seeing. This couldn't be happening. They had built a life together, shared dreams and aspirations. How could Elex just throw it all away?

Desperation flooded Sven's veins, and he reached out, grabbing Elex's arm in an attempt to stop him. "No, please," Sven pleaded, his voice trembling with raw emotion. "Don't do this. We can work through whatever it is that's troubling you. I love you, Elex. I can't imagine my life without you, stop packing come on..."

Elex's eyes welled up with tears as he looked into Sven's pleading gaze. The pain in Sven's voice tore at his heart, but he knew deep down that this was for the best. He couldn't bear to drag Sven down any further with his addiction, with his self-destructive tendencies. "NO, Sven, I'm DONE, Leave me alone," painfully, he ripped the cat off his arm and shoved him away. Sven stumbled backwards, as if he couldnt feel any more broken apart, he fell to his knees.

Elex stood there, his chest heaving with ragged breaths, his eyes filled with anguish as he watched Sven crumble before him. The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, suffocating any semblance of hope that had once existed between them. The truth was, Elex hated himself for what he was doing. But he couldn't bear to see Sven suffer any longer, to witness the destruction that followed in his wake.

Sven looked up at Elex, his eyes pooling with tears as he whispered brokenly, "Why are you doing this? What did I do to deserve this?"

Elex's heart shattered further as he gazed upon the one he loved more than anything in the world. The raw pain etched on Sven's face tore at his soul, but he knew it was necessary. "It's not about you," Elex whispered hoarsely, his voice laced with a mixture of sorrow and regret.

"You can't give me that shit!" Sven screamed finally snapping behind the emotions that over took him. Elex finished packing his bag, grabbed his wallet, keys and as he headed for the front door, Sven reached over and grabbed a picture frame, it housed a photograph of them two in the realty office after purchasing their home. The cat chucked it at the other male, it just barely missed him and cracked into the door ahead of him instead. "Dont EVER come back here, don't EVER call me again, this is your decision? Fine! Don't think I'll be here when you finally wake up!"

Elex stood frozen in the doorway, his heart torn between the love he still felt for Sven and the determination to protect him from the darkness that consumed him. An agonizing silence settled between them, heavy with unspoken words and broken promises.

With a heavy sigh, Elex turned away from Sven's devastated gaze and stepped out into the cold night. The wind whipped through his fur as he walked aimlessly down the empty streets, his mind filled with regrets and what-ifs. For so long, he had tried to fight his demons alone, to shield Sven from the darkness that threatened to swallow him whole. But now, in this moment of painful clarity, he realized that his love for Sven meant letting go.

The cat completely fell apart, his face in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably as his whole world completely changed in the matter of an hour. What happened? What could he have done to prevent this?

There was nothing Elex could do to comfort the other, he couldnt make this go away, his addictions were who he was, they were apart of him and they would drag down and destroy anyone who stood too close. He loved Sven, he TRULY, loved Sven. That was his soulmate, his person, and he would be DAMNED, completely fucking damned, if he let it destroy him too. Not after everything the guy had suffered through, the circus, the competing for affections, no, his Sven deserved the best. He knew he'd be okay, he'd find that love again. Nothing what they share, but it'd be good enough.

Elex pulled out his phone and quickly dialed his dealer. "Hey bro, can you come pick me up?" The wind howled outside, a stark contrast to the deafening silence that now filled the once-happy home. Sven's sobs echoed through the empty rooms, a heart-wrenching sound that tore at Elex's heart he could hear it echo from the sidewalk outside. He knew this was for the best, but it didn't make the pain any less unbearable.

While he waited for his dealer to arrive, Elex couldn't help but second-guess his decision. Was he really doing the right thing? Would Sven be better off without him? A million questions swirled in his mind, but he knew there were no easy answers.

When his dealer finally arrived, Elex quickly got into the car and began digging for his wallet. He didn't bother to look back, didn't want to see the devastation he had left behind. This was his only option. "So you tryna reup brother?" His dealer asked, while they drove away from the house now.

"Yeah you got me on a ball?" Elex pulled his wallet out and began to shuffle through the bills inside.

"Yeah bro, good shit too," his homie stuck out his fist as if silently asking for a fist nudge, Elex met his fist in with his own and smirked, trying to hide any evidence of the horrible night he was experiencing. They sped off into the night, Elex digging around his dealer's bag to pull out an already weighed out baggie. "That's it," the man said looking between the road and Elex. "Thats gonna blow your mind bro I swear," followed with a laugh.

The badger stayed relatively quiet as he began to dig out a quick bump with one of his many useless keys attached to the ring. He'd totaled his car a few months ago in a not at fault accident and hadnt gotten the insurance money back to replace it yet. So for now the key that once made it drive, was used to get him going tonight instead.

In that moment, all Elex could think about was escaping the pain that consumed him, numbing himself to the world around him. He needed to forget, even if just for a little while, shoveling the white substance into his nose while his buddy and supplier kept to their destination. He threw his head back and his eyes rolled into his skull as the rush hit him "FUCK...!" Elex let out a dramatic sigh, shaking his head back and forth as the drug empowered him and sunk into his erratic veins. "Shit's SO good," Elex's chuckle is heavy and forced, masking any true emotion he may be feeling. But as he snorts, a loud, wet, guttural sound escapes his throat, trying to absorb any remaining powder lingering in his nasal passages.

The car pulled up to a rundown building, its windows covered in grime and its entrance cloaked in shadows. This was Elex's safe haven—a place where he could temporarily bury his sorrows beneath a cloud of smoke and artificial euphoria. "Told ya," his dealer replied, opening his door and turning the key off from the ignition position.

As they stepped out of the car, the chill in the night air sent shivers down Elex's spine, reminding him of the emptiness that now resided within him. He followed his dealer up the cracked concrete steps, the sound of his own footsteps echoing in his ears. The building reeked of decay and desperation, a stark contrast to the life he had been living for the last year, but not unfamiliar territory. This, this was familiar. This is what he knew, how to navigate it, how to live in it, how to deal with it. "Make yourself at home per usual bro, stay as long as you want," the dark haired man spoke as if he had said that line a million times, all too familiar with the comings and goings of his cliental.

As they entered the dimly lit room, Elex's eyes scanned the familiar faces huddled in corners, lost souls seeking solace in their vices. He approached a table cluttered with drug paraphernalia, taking a seat next to a woman whose hollow gaze mirrored his own despair. She offered him a sympathetic smile, her lips stained with the remnants of her addiction.

With trembling hands, Elex prepared another dose, trying to ignore the voice inside his head that whispered of self-destruction. The high washed over him like a tidal wave, momentarily lifting the weight of his heartache. He did the right thing. Well so, he kept trying to convince himself of it.

Meanwhile, Sven, was two bottles of Chardonnay in, laying on the floor of, what was, their, kitchen. His phone lay across from him, off silent, volume on high, even vibration on. Just incase. He knew what he said, but still hoped Elex would cross that boundary and call him.

They'd had moments like this a lot when they were teens. Mostly back when Elex was struggling to even accept the fact he loved Sven, but it hadn't been this raw in a long time. He was worried. Sick. What was it this time? Was it still the drugs? Was it someone else? Did they simply out grow each other? At this point, the tears had stopped falling, and the numbness was kicking in. He stared from across the floor at the thin side profile of the device. Should he call? It had been two hours, he should right? Maybe it was just a rough day...?

Elex loved him, he said so. The cat sat up, his head spun as he realized the effects of alcohol were setting in. Sven reached for his phone, his fingers fumbling to unlock the screen that displayed a sleeping photo of his now ex lover. His heart pounded in his chest as he dialed Elex's number, praying that he would answer. The seconds stretched into an eternity as the phone rang on the other end, each ring amplifying Sven's anxiety. Then it sent him to voicemail, and as the dial tone told him to record his message, he hung up and dropped the device to the floor again.

Sven lay back on the cold kitchen tile, his thoughts swirling in a hazy mix of anger and sadness. He couldn't understand how things had come to this, how their love had unraveled so quickly. The pain of their separation was suffocating, threatening to consume him whole. He couldn't understand how Elex could just walk away like this, leaving him in this state of uncertainty and heartache. The tears welled up in his eyes again, blurring his vision as he struggled to regain control over his emotions.

As the night wore on, Sven found himself sinking deeper into a dark abyss of loneliness and self-doubt. He had always believed that Elex was his soulmate, the one person who truly understood him. But now, he questioned everything. Was their love not enough? Had he become a burden to Elex, driving him to seek solace in anything else?

Three Days Later.....

Sven lay in bed, his body heavy with exhaustion. The past few days had been a blur of tears and sleepless nights, but today was different. Today was the first day he could get out of bed. He felt a flicker of hope stirring within him, a tiny spark of determination to pick up the shattered pieces of his heart and move forward.

Slowly, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and let his feet touch the cold wooden floor. The room was bathed in a soft morning light that filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the scattered remnants of their life together. Sven took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of Elex that still lingered in the air.

With every step, he made his way through their home, each corner echoing with memories of their shared laughter and whispered promises. The kitchen felt especially empty without Elex's presence, and Sven's heart twisted at the sight of the abandoned wine bottles on the floor. Had he really not come in here since the badger left? He couldn't tell anyone the last time he had eaten.

Without a second thought, Sven walked over to the kitchen counter and rummaged through the cabinets, searching for something to eat. His stomach growled in protest, a reminder of the neglect it had endured in the past few days. He settled on a box of cereal, pouring it into a bowl with shaky hands, followed by a decent amount of milk to boot. As he took his first spoonful, he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. Elex had always been the one who made breakfast for them, his eggs benedict and homemade hollandaise sauce, unmatched. The short time the criminal had worked at the high end Old folks home out in Hollywood, had taught the badger a thing or two about fine breakfast cuisine. Sven missed it. Missed wrapping his arms around the green haired male while he cooked.

As Sven continued to eat, he allowed his mind to wander back to the events leading up to their separation. The arguments, the lies, the distance that grew between them—all of it still felt fresh and raw. He wondered if there was anything he could have done differently, if he could have fought harder for their love. But deep down, he knew that love alone cannot fix everything. He sighed, finishing up his bowl and pushing it to the sink. "I need to be productive today...shower I should shower..." The cat muttered, as he dragged himself to the bathroom, feeling the weight of his emotions pressing down on him with every step as he entered the space.

He turned on the water, adjusting it to the perfect temperature before stepping under the cascading stream. The water washed away his tears and the remnants of his sorrow, offering a temporary respite from the pain that consumed him. As he lathered shampoo into his hair, Sven's mind wandered back to Elex. He wondered where he was now, what he was doing, if he was thinking about Sven as much as Sven was thinking about him. But amidst the questions and doubts, a flicker of determination ignited within Sven. He vowed to himself that he would not let this heartbreak define him.

Meanwhile...

Elex woke up under an overpass, the sound of cars whizzing overhead barely bringing him to consciousness. Slowly, he sat up as his duo colored eyes blinked excessively to adjust his vision from sleep mode to awake. The realization of his surroundings hit him like a punch to the gut. He had fallen so far, both figuratively and literally. The nights merged into one another, a haze of intoxication and despair, and now here he was --homeless, penniless, and alone. Why wasn't he at his dealer's house? That was the last thing he really remembered...he shook his head slowly, rubbing the butt of his palm across his forehead trying his best to remember anything from the past few days let alone hours.

He reached into his pocket, feeling the crumpled paper that had been left for him the night before. Unfolding it, he read the hastily written message: "Meet me at Duffy's, 5 p.m. - A." Elex's heart skipped a beat. It had been days since he last heard from Sven, and the ache of their separation weighed heavy on his soul. He did not hesitate; he knew he had to go. Despite the fact the initial didn't match Sven's, and the location was a bar, he still set out hope it was his boyfriend, asking him to come home. Elex stood up and quickly looked around for his things, but, alas came up empty handed. He had nothing. Just a small baggy of what coke was left in his pocket and a few crinkled bills.

Elex sighed. "Fuck..." he couldn't even call Sven if he wanted to. Fine. He would just have to walk a few miles to Duffy's and hope that Sven would take him back and he could get help, and replace what he had taken for granted but also completely ruined.

As Elex trudged along the city streets, his mind raced with a mix of anticipation and dread. He couldn't comprehend how he had let things spiral out of control, allowing his addiction to consume him and push away the one person who meant everything to him. Each step felt heavier than the last, mirroring the weight of his guilt and shame.

The journey to Duffy's seemed endless, with every passing minute feeling like an eternity. Elex's mind played tricks on him, conjuring up vivid memories of the moments they shared together – their laughter, their intimate conversations, the warmth of their embrace. It was torture, a constant reminder of what he had lost.

Finally, as the neon sign of Duffy's came into view, Elex's heart skipped a beat. Nervously, he pushed open the door and stepped inside, his eyes scanning the dimly lit bar for any sign of Sven. A pang of disappointment surged through him when he didn't see his familiar face within the space of the bar. He did, however, see a man raise his arm over at him and beckon him forward. Elex raised a green brow, confused, who was this man?

"Hey gorgeous, good to see you got my note...I got some more shit if you wanna do a little exchange of services...." the man immediately wrapped an arm around the dark skinned man and Elex recoiled quickly.

The Badger pushed the man's arm away, his face contorting with a mix of confusion and annoyance. He had expected to see Sven, not some stranger offering him drugs.

"I'm not here for that," Elex replied sharply, his voice laced with irritation and defense. The man smirked and looked between the two of his buddies.

"Uh, you better be cause you owe me for the crystal I gave you last night," Fuckin hell....meth? He did METH last night? Jesus christ he was off the fucking rails, and he promised this dude sexual favors in exchange? Yup. This was a new low for El. He stood there in silence before long the man got mad and stood up, shoving Elex hard enough to make the dark skinned male fall back a few inches.

"Hey! Asshole!" Elex called out after the man who had just laid hands on him.

"You OWE me!" he repeated himself, now standing to hover over the green haired male. Elex snorted.

"I'd suggest you get the fuck out of my face, because I don't owe you SHIT, and I'd love a chance to gouge your eyes out of your fuckin' skull, try me, bitch," Elex brought up his two flattened palms and shoveled the man not only back but he went toppling over onto his ass.

"Fuck you, I'll kill you," the man scrambled to make himself look and sound tougher than he even really was, Elex had clocked that, and laughed, turning to the bartender. The dude's friends trying to help him up but getting pushed away to save his pride one could assume.

"Yeah can I get a whiskey on the rocks?" the bartender looked at him, then the man on the floor then him again and shrugged his shoulders pouring him the drink. Elex took it, slammed it, and pushed the cup back over to him. "Thanks, he'll pay for it," nudging his head in the direction of the other.

"To hell I will," the man swiftly, came to a standing position on his feet, Elex noticed the other getting up and closer to him. The stranger recoiled before pulling his arm back to lay a punch across the badger. Frankly the dude was unequally matched, Elex, without missing a beat, squats quickly, ducking under the other's fist and popping back up to his left hand side. Then with lighting reflexes, swinging his own fist up and across the assailant's jaw, knocking him back, and out in one fluid motion.

"Again, he's paying, and I'm," he now picked up one of the other glasses on the bar, presumably having belonged to the man he just knocked out, downed it and nodded to the small group. "Gentlemen..."shoveling past anything and anyone that stood in his way of leaving the bar all together. Once he stood outside, the cool night air hit him, and so did the alcohol. His body swayed back and forth, he looked around. "Duffy's isnt too far..." he muttered out loud.

He considered finding a bush, doing the rest of the coke in his pocket and then crawling his way back home but....he couldn't bring himself to even look at the substance. Thankful his body had remained only touched by Sven, he realized just how close he had gotten from losing himself completely. "I have to go home...I have to tell him I'm sorry... I have to fix this...." Elex bit his lower lip and looked down at his hands, the small bag sitting in the middle of his open palm. "I dont need you anymore...I didn't have a life I needed to run away from anymore...I miss him..I miss us...I miss it all...and you were never worth throwing any of that away for..." he huffed through his stuffy nose, the pain in his head reminding him that he had done entirely too many drugs these past few days.

Yet as he crinkled the substance into a fist and threatened to chuck it away, he found himself struggling to find the will to. He stood there, for a few moments, a few moments too long supposedly as the sky turned sour and water began to drip from the sky. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the weight of the baggy in his palm. The pain from his head and the sting of regret threatened to consume him, but there was a glimmer of hope shining through, a faint whisper of redemption calling out to him. The rain had arrived with a vengeance now, lashing down upon him with a furious fury that seemed to echo his own inner turmoil.

Elex stood there, transfixed by the storm, his heart pounding in his chest like a war drum. He could feel the cold droplets seep through his clothes, soaking his skin and chilling him to the bone, but he didn't move. His mind was racing, the memories of his past flooding back as the rain washed away the remnants of his misery. He thought of the life he had led, the darkness that had consumed him, and the man he had become. Maybe....maybe just one more hit. He opened his palm to expose the crinkled plastic bag of substance, he looked at it before blinking past wet lashes and pinched it open.

This wasnt an entirely well thought out plan as quickly once the plastic was no longer secured, water found it's way in, consuming whatever remnants of coke remained. Elex stared at the flooded baggie and felt a pang of sadness, but also felt a strange sense of relief wash over him. He knew what he had to choose. Dropping the bag onto the ground, he got back on his feet, and turned toward home. He began to run.

Elex knew he had to leave the darkness of his past behind, and with every step he took, his heart filled with hope. The rain continued to pelt him, but he didn't care. Sven's face and the life they had shared flashed through his mind, and he knew he had to make amends. He felt a newfound determination to find his way back to Sven and to the person he used to be.

As he ran, the rain seemed to clear the air around him, and he felt a strange sense of enlightenment. The darkness that had consumed him for so long began to recede, and he felt lighter with every step. He ran through the streets, his body fueled by the pain of his past and the desire to be better. "Please....Please don't hate me..." he whimpered as he ran.

Finally, Elex reached the house, his heart hammering in his chest. He took a deep breath and prepared himself before raising his fist to knock on the door. He knew what he had to say and he knew he had to make things right, even if it meant admitting his mistakes and confessing his sins. The pain he had caused Sven was unbearable, but he had to face it head-on.

As Elex stood at the door, his gaze fell on the wet pavement, the evidence of his struggle to find redemption. He thought about the man he had been and the man he wanted to be, and he knew he had to make a change. As he lifted his hand to knock, he could almost hear the echoes of the night he had ruined, but he pushed them away. This was his chance to start anew, and he could not let fear stop him. With a trembling fist he began to pound on the door recklessly, taking no note of the headache that was forming in his head, and the tightening of his throat as his body temperature continued to drop from standing out in the rain. The journey alone was at least a 27 minute run.

"Yeah...-...El?" The cat answered the door, holding it open as he stared Elex face to face. They both stood there, almost like they had each seen a ghost, scared to say anything and make the other disappear. "Wha-....What are you doing here?" Clearing his throat, he put on a brave face and stood much straighter. Elex winced. Yeah, he deserved that. He could almost physically see the sudden wall built between them now.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry....Sven please...." the Badger started but was immediately cut off by a raised palm.

"No," Sven went to slam the door but Elex quickly stuck his foot in the crack and grabbed the handle to stop it from doing so.

"Please, Sven..." his voice cracked as he begged the other man to hear him out.

"Why? Why should I Elex? You made me think that everything was going to be okay, and you just fucking, dump me and leave like you used to,"

"Please, Sven, I was scared! You dont get it!" He continued to try and plead his case but it didn’t seem to lighten the cat any as he stood there with a narrowed gaze.

"Enlighten me then, because I deserve that at the least," finally, he crossed his arms across his chest and waited patiently to hear the desperate man out.

"....I never quit....I kept doing cocaine regularly, to keep myself going....I tried to quit," he suddenly got defense throwing his hands up, sniffling loosely as his nose began to slightly tickle and the tension building inside his nostrils started to make itself more known. "But my body...I couldnt work...let alone be there for you..and the house..." he sighed looking down at his feet. He was ashamed, embarrassed. "I've been running away my whole life, whether it be mentally through substances or emotionally through you....I was running..." tears began to well inside of his ducts, silently, falling from the corners of his mint and brown eyes. "So once we were safe....it felt like...it was only a matter of time before I...fucked things up anyway, and you had worked SO hard....Sven....I'm so sorry..." he fell to his knees.

Sven stood there, his eyes locked with Elex's tear-filled gaze. The rain continued to pour down around them, their emotions washing over them like the relentless storm. He felt a mix of anger, hurt, and confusion swirling within him as he watched Elex break down before him.

Sven's heart wavered, a broken man pleading for forgiveness. The anger and hurt that had festered within him the past few days began to soften, replaced by a mix of sympathy and a flicker of hope. He loved Elex, with every fiber of his being, and he couldn't deny that a part of himself. He couldn't deny that every moment since the second he left, he had hoped the grumpy, dark skinned, man would show up at their door again.

But Sven couldn't let himself be swayed so easily. He had been hurt too deeply, betrayed too profoundly. "You expect me to believe you now?" he spat, his voice laced with bitterness. "After everything we had been through, everything you put me through. Tell me, Elex, why should I trust you again?"

Elex looked up at Sven, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with genuine remorse, but also passion. He got back on his two feet and his eyebrows dropped to a furrow. "Because....god fucking damn it, it’s me and you… you and me..." he pointed at each of them with his index finger going back and forth. "It always fucking has been, and I'm an idiot okay? I shouldn't have let the worst fuckin' parts of myself ruin a good thing...so please..." he let out a staggered breath. “Please Sven…I need you…”

Sven's face was a mix of emotions, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of longing for the man he had loved so deeply. He knew he couldn't just let Elex off the hook so easily, but he also couldn't dismiss the burning desire to have Elex back in his life. "So what do we do? Because I can't have you blowing up and running off if next week you happen to decide you don't want to quit,"

"That wont happen" Elex furrowed his brows and crossed his arms over his chest. "I wont let it, I swear, just have an ounce of faith in me,"

"I had more than an ounce, it isn't my fault you threw it away," Sven’s words cut like ice, and the badger ate them as if he deserved it, because he did.

"Please, Sven! Jesus Fucking christ, Please! I'm sorry!" The green hair man was practically in tears as his voice broke, pleading to the part of his ex lover that was still riding for him.

"Elex...." Sven started, trying to look past the badger but only found himself locking eyes with him instead.

"Dont, Don't Sven, come on, baby....." tears welling in his eyes. "Baby please," the pleading was desperate, almost pathetic, it tugged at Sven's heart and he couldn't take it any more, he reached over and grabbed the back of Elex's green locks and kissed him hard with a furious passion, the rain falling aggressively around them.

As their lips met, the weather a eemed to intensify, as if nature itself was reflecting the turbulent emotions that consumed them both. It was a bittersweet kiss, filled with longing, forgiveness, and the unspoken promise of a fresh start. They stood there, locked in an embrace, oblivious to the world around them, Elex’s hands clung to the cat’s three day old shirt.

Eventually, they pulled apart, gasping for air. Sven looked into Elex's tear-streaked face and saw the vulnerability he had longed for. He felt a flicker of hope and a renewed sense of gratitude that his person was back in his arms. Their separation was brief, Sven grabbing his boyfriend by the shirt and pulling himself inside the much warmer home. It wasn't until Elex was no longer standing in the freezing cold weather that he could feel how unwell he was. Between symptoms of withdrawal, and alcohol swimming inside his brain, there was the added factor that he simply felt like garbage. His nose felt tight, full, he was not longer able to breathe through it.

"SndDff," he tried clearing it out, before Sven completely ignored the sympton and pushed their lips back together. The intensity of their kisses grew, with each touch igniting a fire within them. Sven's hands moved feverishly, exploring every inch of Elex's body as if trying to memorize it all over again. The badger responded eagerly, his body yearning for the familiar touch that had been absent for far too long.

But as the passion between them intensified, so did Elex's physical discomfort. His head throbbed relentlessly, and his body felt heavy and weak. The rain continued to pour outside, its rhythmic patter against the windowpane a stark contrast to the storm raging inside him.

Elex broke away from the kiss, gasping for breath. His face was flushed, not only from desire but also from the increasing temperature of his body. He tried to steady himself against Sven's chest, but his legs wobbled beneath him, threatening to give way. Sven pushed his mouth against the other's soft, wet neck, they bother shuddered. Sven's hands, rough and capable, reached out to steady his lover, his touch sending ripples of electricity through Elex's body as he was shoved up against a wall.

He could feel the other's heartbeat, wild and uncontrolled, mirroring his own. The room seemed to grow hotter, the air thick with the scent of sweat, and the dampness that clung to their skin. Sven's lips trailed down Elex's neck, leaving a slew of kisses that caused the other man to moan deep within his slowly closing and irritated throat. God Elex wished he could just fully enjoy the moment but he felt his sinuses throbbing worse through every second he tried to ignore his needs.

Sven's eyes met Elex's pleading ones, and the intensity of their connection was palpable. The raw, unfiltered emotions coursing through them were a testament to the depth of their love and the weight of the pain they had both experienced during their separation. "Is something wrong, El?" The cat asked curiously yet lazily as his hands still started to work his lover's belt and pants, leaving small, wet, loving kisses across his exposed hips and tummy as he descended upon him.

"I-I....n-need to sn-sneeze.." Elex struggled to breathe as Sven continued to overwhelm him with the intensity of his touch. His nose, now an obstacle to his ability to fully enjoy the moment, felt like it was going to pop at any minute. He stared into Sven's eyes, searching for the empathy that had brought them together in the first place, praying that the other man would understand.

But Sven was too consumed by the moment, too focused on their reunion and the physical connection they desperately needed to acknowledge Elex's discomfort. "Mmm then sneeze..." he whispered against the other's flesh. His hands continued to work on Elex's pants, his lips never leaving their destination. The badger could feel the heat radiating from Sven's body, the animal almost too eager to break free from the confines of his own skin.

The pressure in Elex's sinuses grew unbearable. He winced as his eyes watered, each breath he took only serving to remind him of what was coming for him as he hicked and hesitated.

He knew he should say something, but the words wouldn't come. "H-Hih...-.." Elex hitched and writhed. Sven's hands were everywhere, his lips never stopped moving, and the other's body was responding in ways he couldn't control. But the sneeze was building, threatening to burst forth like a volcano, and he knew it couldn't be suppressed much longer.

Suddenly, with a force that caught both of them by surprise, Elex let out a monstrous sneeze. It tore through him like a freight train, his body convulsing violently. Sven instinctively gripped the man's hips tightly, keeping them pinned against the surface of the wall, while the rest of the badger twitched. "H'utTSSCHH'iew!!" Elex's eyes widened and his face contorted in embarrassment and disbelief as the force of the sneeze left him coughing and spluttering, his heart racing in his chest. Particles of spit and virus dusting between the two bodies.

Sven, still holding onto the badger's haunches and leaving softened kisses on each inch of skin stopped, looked up in amusement and only mild concern, his own heart pounding as he tried to discern if his lover was alright. With a gentle hand, he began to stroke Elex's thigh, trying to calm him down and bring him back to reality. "Bless you, that was a big one, hm?" before continuing his motions to free the badger of his pants, cock springing forward, the cat laps at his head, licking it gingerly.

Sven's eyes locked on Elex's, his own filled with a raw, unbridled desire that was as palpable as the air surrounding them. The badger's pleading gaze, coupled with his obvious discomfort, only served to stoke the fire within the cat. He knew his own suffering was only adding fuel to the situation, Sven considered taking it easy, but the erotic energy that coursed between them threatened to overwhelm all reason. He sucks at the other's tip, teasing it.

"Sv-...Sven wait...I'm not feeling well..." he whimpered under the other's heated touch, just wanting to melt beneath him.

"I don't care...I need you..." Sven's eyes flared with passion, and he knew he couldn't hold back any longer. With a growl, he lunged forward, his tongue darting out to claim Elex's length before swallowing his cock full hilt.

Elex gasped and arched his back, his body convulsing as Sven's mouth enveloped him. The pleasure was intense, but so was the struggling prickle within him. His nose felt as if it would explode, and his head pounded like a drum. Despite his protests, Sven only increased his pace, his skilled tongue and throat muscles causing Elex's eyes to roll back in his head.

"Sv-Sven," he panted, his nails digging into Sven's shoulders. "Please...I can't...I need..." But the words refused to come out, lost in the cacophony of his desires and his symptoms. He fought the sensations that built inside his sinuses, his throat tightened and his thoughts continued to swim erratically. The cat ignored his pleas, continuing to enjoy the way his lover's length penetrated the walls of his throat. "Sven..." the green haired male continued to gasp, his hands threading through orange and teal colored locks as his head fell back. He tried solely focusing on the pleasure his mate was providing him but the persistent tickle and tease inside the walls of his nostrils was far too great.

Sven eventually, removed Elex from his mouth and stood up on his feet to undo the buckling of his own pants. "I can't wait any more..." the cat grunted behind his movements as he freed himself from the confines of his own jeans. "I need to feel you....I missed you so fucking much..." They both clashed, their mouths reuniting, slipping, dominating tongues fighting each other for dominance, the cat coming out on top, he pulled his lover up by the back of his thighs and shoveled him against the wall now in nuzzled between Elex's legs that wrapped around him, aligning his body with the badger's. He gripped Elex's hips tightly, positioning himself at the entrance of his lover's core before shoveling his cock deep inside his hole. They both let out a long, drown out groan.

Elex whimpered into the kiss, feeling the heat of Sven's body against his own. He trembled slightly as the cat's member nudged inside his entrance, the friction sending shivers down his spine. The pain in his chest and the pressure in his nose, however, it refused to subside. He felt like a caged animal, struggling to break free from the intensity of the moment and the throbbing in his head.

Sven paid no mind to the badger's discomfort, his passion for his lover already at its peak. He began to thrust, his hips moving in sync with the rhythm of his heartbeat. The scent of sex filled the air, stinging Elex's nostrils and making the pain in his sinuses even more intense. Doing what he could to try and focus on the pleasure consuming him, it was of no use, his watering eyes rolled back and his already gaping mouth hitched, swallowing handfuls of gasps while Sven continued to rythmically pound at his hole.

The cat noticed the other's afflications and leaned in, burying his face into the crook of his lover's neck, voice at his ear before seductively he spoke, though strangled by his movements. "Let, them go...baby...I want to hear them," His arms come up from in front of Elex, gripping him behind his arms and shoulders, forcing the badger's arms backward and arching the other's body. His cock continued to run through him.

Elex let out a low whine, his body shaking as Sven's words resonated through his mind. He understood the cat's intention and knew it could be the only way for him to find relief from the unbearable discomfort. He steeled himself and gritted his teeth, allowing his voice to break free as he let out a loud, agonizing sneeze. "Hhah'AETTTSHH'Uh!" The sound echoed through the room, filling the air with the raw power and intensity of the badger's struggle to overcome his tormented senses. Sven, feeling the unmistakable tremble of Elex's muscles, slowed down his movements to relish in the tightened squeeze of his partner's body, his walls constricted through the sneezing, his hips moving to pick up the pace after it subsided, resuming their passionate act.

"That's my good boy, hm? You feel so good clenching around me with every little expulsion," The streamer huffed, his breathless, husky whisper causing the badger's cheeks to flush brighter red than they already had been from his oncoming illness. He whimpered under the other, bringing his hands up around to claw at his cat's bare back, leaving bright red bleeding streaks down his flesh. They both cried out, rutting and sliding against each other. "One more ? Give me one more hm? Please baby..." Sven asked politely, his voice so low and smooth the green haired male had sworn he'd signed his life away to the man. He did.

With a shaky voice, he agreed, "One more, Sven," his voice barely audible amidst his ragged breaths.

Sven's eyes sparkled, and he leaned down, capturing Elex's lips in a passionate kiss that lasted for what seemed like a millisecond. His hands caressed the badger's face, the pads of his thumbs gently rubbing Elex's sore nostrils. The badger moaned into the kiss, a soft plea for relief from the tickle.

As their lips parted, Sven's eyes met that of his lover’s heterochromatic stare. He could see the desperate longing in his boyfriend’s gaze. He knew he was so close to letting go of another, he just needed the encouragement. "Sneeze for me, El, c’mon...I know you like pleasing me..." The badger's eyes rolled in the back of his head, his bridge twitched, clenched and stretched as he focused on relieving himself of the pressure that was suffocating him slowly.

"hH'...H'Hheh..Heh;EhDTSHhiEW! Shit..." his mouth released a mistral cloud of saliva across the other's shoulder, Sven groaning behind a clenched jaw as he felt the stray drops hit his flesh.

"God I missed you...." Sven whimpered as his hips continued to snap forward and out, assaulting the badger's sensitive prostate. He cried out, his body arching into the aggressive cat.

"I fucking.....missed you...so much..." Elex managed between each thrust, burying his face into Sven's shoulder, his breaths now coming in ragged and desperate gasps. He felt like he was drowning in his own body, the agony in his head and nose seeming to merge with the pleasure that Sven was giving him.

As the cat continued to thrust into him, he felt his own release drawing near, the familiar tension building up within him. He reached down and grabbed the other's hand, pressing it against his own rock-hard erection. "Dont make him wait for your touch anymore," he growled, his eyes pleading with his mate to let go, to surrender to the ecstasy that they shared.

The orange daggers watched the desperation in Elex's mint and brown colored eyes and knew he couldn't hold on any longer. With a final strained whine, he let go, his body trembling as the orgasm hit him like a ton of bricks. They both hit their threshold of ecstacy and spilled over. Sven inside of Elex, and Elex, all over both of their chests.

Their bodies convulsed in sync, the mixture of their pleasure and the relief from the demons that haunted the badger's senses created a symphony of raw emotion. Sven's nails dug into the flesh of Elex's hips, causing the badger to gasp and moan in pain-pleasure, his voice rising in a mix of animalistic sounds and sweet, breathy pleas. They collapsed, panting heavily, their bodies still entwined, the aftermath of their intense encounter covering them in a layer of sweat and sexual fluids.

As they lay there, catching their breath and drenched in the remnants of their passion, Sven's gaze lingered on Elex's face, studying the emotions that flickered across his features. There was a mix of relief, satisfaction, and longing that seemed to dance across the badger's expressions. The cat smiled softly, tenderly, "I love you......stupid...." Snapping the green haired mess out of his daze, he snickered back at the other.

"I love you too, shithead," Sven reached out and pulled the other into a tight hug after having slipped out of him, chuckling in response to his boyfriend's sass. He really truly, missed this. Casually, they both made their way to the couch and lay across it and each other, barely having made it through the entrance space and to the living one. "But Genuinely....I feel like fucking shit...do we have any meds?" Elex looked up at the other from in his lap and Sven mulled over the question thoughtfully.

"Yeah, we should probably take something for that," Sven replied, stroking Elex's sweaty hair with a concerned expression. "You should've mentioned that you were sick before we started."

"Hey, I tried, not my fault you didn't listen," the badger smirked, rolling his duo colored eyes. He managed to roll off of Sven, his body a ninety-degree bend as he stood up on his feet. His eyes watered as his nose burned, his mind still reeling from the intense experience. With a sigh, Elex walked to and in the bathroom, rummaging through the cabinets to find the nyquil.

Sven followed Elex into the space, leaning against the door frame as he watched the badger search for the medication. He couldn't help but smile as he saw Elex's disheveled state, his hair mussed, and his eyes still red from the sneezing. The sight of his lover in distress brought a warmth to Sven's chest, and he knew that this was just another chapter in their story. Just grateful to have him home.

As Elex found the NyQuil, he carefully opened the bottle, taking a good swig from it before proffering the bottle to Sven. The cat took it gratefully, savoring the taste of the cough and cold medicine as it coated his throat in a sweet, syrupy layer.

Both men downed the medication, knowing it would hopefully relieve some of the symptoms they were or would be feeling. They stood there for a moment, looking at each other, both of them swirling with different thoughts but the same general idea. They were just so happy to see the other. "I'm-....uh...I'm gonna go through withdrawal....in the next few days so...forgive me if I act like a dickhead,"

"More than usual?" Sven smirked with a raised brow.

"YES, more than usual...fucker," they both just grinned at each other, like two stupid kids, before the air turned serious again.

"I won't promise anything," Sven replied, his eyes twinkling with honesty. "But I think I'll be able to handle you better now that I know what I’m up against,”

Elex smirked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "We'll see how that goes," he said, not entirely convinced.

They both knew they were in for a rocky road in the next few days, but they were ready to face it together. Their connection was like a force of nature, unstoppable and chaotic, but they were loyal and consistent and they wouldn't let a cycle of addiction come between them.

Sven took Elex's hand in his own, interlocking their fingers. "We'll get through this," he promised, his voice firm and reassuring.

Elex smiled up at him, the worry fading from his eyes. "Yeah, we will ," he said, his voice just as strong.

"Genuinely, I love you, but...you need to shower, and I'm really shocked you havent already begged me to do so," the cat chuckled at his partner who rolled his eyes before then shrugging his shoulders.

"Valid point, lots of things happened at once...I'm going to definitely go do that though....meet you in bed?" Elex blinked slowly, his head still throbbing, he knew the rain had caught up to him and this was his punishment. He took a deep breath in and still, stood straight and turned toward the bathroom. His glossy eyes meeting with the other's glowing orange ones.

"Meet you there," The feline nodded in agreement, the two splitting ways so they could get ready in their respectable routines. It was hard to waltz around the house, turn on faucets and pluck through clothes that stayed where they had been. He almost walked out on this sense of comfort, safety, it was starting to dawn on him just how insane he had been. Elex shook his head, and hopped into the shower, washing his body clean of his 3 day sins. Sure, Sven may have forgiven him, as he sniffled and leaned against the wall of the shower, but he realized that, it was going to take a lot longer for him to forgive himself.

The End

Author’s Notes: I love showcasing how toxic and chaotic these two really are 😍😍😍😍 I LOVE THEMMMMM UGHHHH hope y’all enjoyed! 😌

#oc #original character #writer #fic writer #snzblr #snz kink #snz #smut #lemons #Svelex #Sven #Elex Parker #snz fucker #snz fic #cold fucker #cold fucking #OC Fic #angst #heartbreak fic #sad fic

[snippychicke]

For the Sake of a Smile (V.2) Chapter Thirteen

Title: For the Sake of a Smile (Revised)

Overall Rating: Mature (18+)

Chapter Rating: M for Mature. We've begun the 18+ content

Trigger warnings: Nothing beyond the child abuse hinted in the series, though we do explore the consequences a bit more.

Additional TW for depression/anxiety etc in this chapter. NO mentions of self-harm or suicide.

Main Pairing: Balam Shichiro/Reader

Summary: Hell on earth was your motto for your job. Granted, you were pretty sure earth really was hell, considering the shit you had seen in your life. And the fact your coworker was a child. 

A child named Suzuki Iruma, in fact. A kid who’s life was decidedly worse than yours, but yet he smiled despite everything. It wasn’t long after meeting him that you decided you’d do a lot for his smile. Including summoning a literal demon and signing your soul away.

But as it turns out, hell (The Netherworld, actually) was a lot better than living on earth. Demons were more humane than a lot of humans you knew.

And Iruma’s smile wasn’t the only one that would change your life.

Masterlist | Ao3| Mairimashitai! Simps Discord

"...But if you feel you're worthless… then maybe you are." 

Even though you had said the words yourself, hearing her repeat them so casually was like a slap in the face. 

And also the last straw. 

It was like something snapped inside, and you lost control. With a scream you lunged towards her, jumping over the desk separating you and tackling Raim. 

There was a satisfied look in her eye shortly before you slammed into her, but it was soon gone as you used tooth and nail against her. There was no method to your attack, you just wanted her to hurt. To feel pain as you did. Regret like you did. Realize she wasn't as powerful and mighty like she thought. 

The fact that she barely fought back was something you completely missed. She struggled enough to keep you struggling, clawing at her face and hair, an elbow to the gut, or stomping on her high-heeled feet with your own more-practical footwear. But there was an almost playful quality to it, to the light in her eyes. 

Until a voice boomed across the library; multiple arms grasping your limbs and pulling you off. 

No. Not limbs. Vines, you realized as you looked around wildly, still feeling rather feral until you met glimmering black eyes.

Ah. 

Fuck. 

"Haven't had a scuffle like that in quite a while," Raim said as she stood up, dusting off her barely-blemished skin. "I forgot how kinky that could be." 

Oh. You were going to kill her and that damned glittering smile in her eyes. You struggled against the vines restraining you, your primal mind figuring you had gone this far, you might as well finish the job. 

Raim didn't seem the least bit affected as she turned towards Balam, her hand grazing his arm purposefully. "I'll go ask Furcus or her Battler if they'd mind the Library while our dear Librarian is recovering. Make sure to take good care of her, okay?" 

Balam acted as if he hadn't heard Raim at all, or even if she even existed. His gaze bore into you, filled with its own rage and frustration. 

Maybe it was his displeasure, or the way you swore you could feel his mana engulfing the Library like an oppressive blanket, trying to smother any kind of dissonance. Or maybe Raim finally leaving was allowing you to finally think clearly.

Either way, you knew you were in trouble. Far, far worse trouble than you had been in. 

Balam picked you out from the vines like an errant pet, holding you tightly to his chest in a princess carry before striding out of the Library, all without saying a single word. His silence was uncomfortable, and you could virtually feel the anger and disappointment radiating from him. 

Even after reaching the prep room and ensuring it was empty - closing the door behind him and locking it - he stayed silent. He just held you tighter, and you could feel him taking deep calming breaths, his eyes closed as he focused. 

"Balam?" You hesitantly questioned, causing his eyes to snap open and focus down on you; dark obsidian that seemed so cold compared to usual. His fingers dug into you almost painfully before he controlled himself. 

He didn't utter a word, but you could see his jaw move behind his mask as if was opening and closing his mouth, at a loss for words. All the while his gaze continued to bore into you, as if trying to figure something out. 

"I-I'm sorry," You stuttered, the silence becoming too much for you to bear. "I just… I snapped and lost control." 

Devi, he had to be fuming to remain so quiet. You don't think you had ever known him to be this quiet. "Please, say something. Anything." 

He didn't say anything, but shifted his grip so he was no longer holding you in a princess-carry, but hugging you tightly; your chest pressed against his, one arm bracing you back with his fingers buried in your hair while the other supported your backside, as you more or less straddled his waist with your legs. His metal mask felt like ice against your skin as he pressed his face to your neck, releasing a shuddering breath when you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. 

"Why?" He rasped after a second, his voice hoarse as he whispered your name in such a way it felt like a knife to your chest. "Do you realize how stupid -- how dangerous-- that was? No Runes. Nothing to protect you…"

That bitter feeling rose in your throat as that dark voice whispered in the back of your mind. He was right, you had been a massive idiot for starting a fight with Raim - no matter how much she had been trying to tempt you into one. 

It also reminded you that Balam was upset mainly because your foolish actions had nearly cost him his 'precious' human. Not in the romantic sense, but in the sense you were his favorite specimen, for lack of a better word. 

"What is wrong with you?" He swore after a moment. "Ever since the Harvest festival, you've been acting strange, and its just been getting worse. I thought you were wiser than this?"

"It was a mistake." You answered back flatly, your inner self growing cold to protect you from the overflow of pain his words caused. You pulled away, and by some miracle he allowed you. He even set you on the ground, but you could feel his expectant gaze on you. "I--"

You should just quit, the dark little voice reasoned. Or one of these days, someone is going to find out. You're going to inevitably fuck something up and doom yourself and Iruma. Just go to Sullivan, hand in your resignation, and become a hermit. 

Or ask Sullivan to null your contract and send you back to Earth. Iruma would probably be safer without you to expose his origin. 

Some mother you were. He'd be better off without you at this point. 

Tears stung your eyes as you succumbed to the darkness. You pulled at your hair as you slowly fell to your knees, gritting your teeth to stop the sob swelling in your throat. 

I really am worthless. Everyone would be better off without me. I'm so dumb, emotional, powerless... Why did I ever think I deserved to be happy? Even here - I don't deserve their love or compassion. Hell itself is too good for me. 

You felt Balam try to gently pry your hands from your scalp, and batted him away as you stepped away. "Don't." You choked out. "I don't-- I don't deserve it." 

"Don't deserve what?" He asked, curiosity evident in his voice.  

"Your kindness! Your pity! I'm the dumbass that keeps fucking up!" You snarled angrily; mostly directed at yourself, but some reserved him. Didn't he get it? "I don't belong here! I know I'm your 'precious' human to study, but you have Iruma, and he's so much better than me. He's adapting, unlike my worthless ass and--" 

 You were silenced as he pulled you close. "Don't. Don't even think such things, darling. You are so important to me, to all of us."

You struggled to shake your head from how tightly he was holding you. "I'm not… I'm not."

Balam shifted to pull away just enough to cup your face. His eyes were warm again, hurt and confusion evident, along with something else you refused to acknowledge, because it was impossible. "You are. You are the most precious thing to me, and it isn't because you're human."

Your heart thumped in your chest, a small crack appearing in your dark thoughts, a small sliver of hope. "Don't… Don't tease me," You pleaded softly. "Don't say such things, Balam." 

His thumb caressed your cheek softly. "I'm not teasing. You may not want my affection, but you have it regardless. And I know that so many others care for you as well." 

Just as fast as the smidgen of hope appeared, it disappeared. You sighed as you tried to refrain from reacting. 

He cares for you, that should be enough. Your inner voice scolded. Be thankful, not saddened. 

But how could you not? Especially as he touched you so tenderly, his eyes soft and kind. 

Balam seemed to be able to sense the shift in your mood, or maybe you weren't able to hide your true feelings from your expression as you thought. His eyebrows knitted together in concern as he spoke your name. "Are these emotions from a human evil cycle, or something akin to it? What can I do for you? Please, tell me." 

You shook your head slightly. "Nothing. This… this is just me trying to…come to term with things."

"With what?" He probed, apparently not going to allow the issue to slide. You went to turn away, but he held you firm. "You were physically fighting another teacher. If she had accidently scratched you and caused you to bleed, there's no telling what could have happened. Please, tell me what is bothering you so much." 

Internally, you began to panic. You knew, knew he wasn't going to let you slide by with a half-excuse this time

Yet, you couldn't help but try. "It's stupid, Balam. I promise, I'll do better. I'll get this under control and…"

He ended your line of excuses by simply saying your name, making you freeze. His dark eyes pinned you, and you could see how others might be intimidated by him. 

"I love you," You blurted out, tired and frustrated and honestly not knowing what else to say. "That's my problem, okay? I love you and I know you'll never feel the same for me."

His eyes blinked rapidly, confusion evident on his face. "W-what?" 

It was like a dam in your chest had erupted, allowing all the emotions you had been trying to bottle up escape. "I love you! I want to be able to touch you! To kiss you! To do some frankly obscene things that I can't stop thinking about! And it's driving me crazy to know that you will never see me in such a way." You took a breath, trying to calm yourself. On one hand, it felt like a relief to finally have admitted it out loud, yet on the other you felt extremely embarrassed to have essentially just shouted it in his face. 

"You… you wanted to know," You finished weakly with a half shrug. "So there you are. Now you know." 

Silence hung heavily for a long moment as he stared at you, causing you to only feel more embarrassed. Now you really screwed things up. Now he wasn't going to even treat you as a friend, or maybe a friend to keep at arms distance and why--

"You're not lying," He spoke finally, ending your mental tirade. He continued to seem astonished, shocked as he muttered to himself. "You're…telling the truth." 

You swallowed thickly and nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. I am."

That seemed to help him return back to his senses, his brows furrowing once more. "Unfortunately?"

You were about to go on a ramble, allowing all your fears to pour from your mouth, when he moved to undo the latches of his mask. Your words caught in your throat as you were given the rare treat of seeing his full face. The curve of his cheek, his strong jawline. One fang barely peeked out from behind his lips, and on the other side you could see so many of the thick sharp fangs thanks to his injury. 

Without thinking, you reached up to touch his face. Your fingers caressing the soft skin that was usually hidden by his mask period, feeling the change to the rougher scar issue.

"You're not disgusted?" He asked quietly, careful not to accidentally bite your fingers that were so close to the bared teeth.

You jerked slightly, realizing what you had done. But when you went to pull away, he pressed your hand to his cheek, keeping it in place. "Not at all," You said softly, meeting his gaze. Surely this wasn't real. This had to be a dream or something. "I-I've always found you handsome." 

You could watch as the pink color spread across his cheeks, inching its way to the tip of his ears as well as down his neck, which did not help your fascination any. You wondered how far his blush traveled past the feathered neck of his shirt. Did it bloom across his chest? Darkened the more you teased? 

"And I've always been stunned by your beauty," He admitted quietly, pulling your mind from the gutter. "That first time seeing you in the Library, and every time since. I swear you've only grown more beautiful." 

It was your turn to blush, and even chuckle self consciously. But any self deprecating quip that was on your tongue vanished as he leaned forward and pressed his ruined lips against yours. 

The kiss was soft, tentative as he slowly tested your boundaries. As if each small movement was a question assuring he hadn't overstepped. Which was laughable in retrospect as you eagerly returned his kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. 

You swore you could feel him smile against you as he pulled you up onto his lap, arms wrapped around your waist as he matched your passion. Careful of his teeth, yet there was no denying the hunger that lurked beneath. Gently, his tongue brushed against your lips, which you accepted just as happily, pressing your tongue against his in an instinctive dance.

There was a hint of sweetness to him, which surprised you none. Not when you knew of his fondness for desserts as well as the fact of how gentle and sweet his personality was. It was as addictive as everything about him, distracting you to the point you barely noticed when he laid you down on the floor, your body instinctively allowing his waist to part your legs as you ran your fingers through his hair. 

And devi, the noises he made; soft but deep groans that echoed from his chest as his mouth moved from yours to your cheek, and then your neck. As if you were the most delectable thing he had ever tasted - ever touched. The sounds went straight to the fire building in your lower stomach, making you want him even more. 

"My human. My beautiful, precious human," He purred against you, the hand not supporting his weight  pressing against your side before roaming upwards, pushing aside your standard faculty uniform to cup your breast hidden beneath your shirt. "I've wanted this, wanted you, for so long…"

You whimpered as he massaged your breast and he lavished your neck in kisses. This was so much better than your dreams and fantasies. The warmth pooling in your loins, the way his large body pressed down against you, heavy but not overly so. And the words he praised you with were quickly driving you crazy. 

No one had made you feel this way in the past. Wanted in every sense of the word. Beautiful. Appreciated. 

You wanted to turn the tables on him, repeat every single sentiment with equal emotion. To make him feel this same pleasure and warmth. 

Yet before you could hazily try and figure out how to do that, a shrill ring on your phone cut through the otherwise silent room, making you both freeze at the cheery tune. 

Devi. No. You wanted screamed in frustration as Balam pulled away, looking rather awkward as he helped you sit up. All the while the phone continued to ring incessantly. 

You pulled the offending item from your pocket and glared at it. How you wanted to silence it. To hit the ignore button, but it was too late. The mood was ruined. 

--+--

"Yes?" Balam heard you answer whomever was calling you as he had climbed to his feet and was trying to find a way to calm his body. Sullivan's voice was unmistakable as he apparently shouted over the phone; tone full of worry, though Balam couldn't understand his words as he wandered towards his bookcases. 

This was not at all how he expected events to go when he had decided to confront you over the lunch period. Actually, all expectations went out the window when he entered the Library and saw you launch yourself at Raim, looking more like a demon then ever. 

He was both frozen with fear and awe at the scene. Fear because what the devi had you been thinking?! And awe from his baser instincts seeing the female he adored show her power and viciousness. You would be such a good mate…

Fear, worry, and a smidge of anger suddenly overtook everything. He had been barely able to hold back from joining the fight on your side, and had Raim not been treating you as delicately as she had been, obviously doing her best not to hurt you, he may have. 

Yet even with you in his arms, he had been so scared, unable to control the urge to carry you away to the safest place he could think of. A place of privacy where he was sure he would be able to protect you. If someone realized the truth, or even that you were powerless, it could spell disaster. He had known something had been bothering you, and didn't want to pry. 

But if it risked your safety, he had felt like he had no other choice. 

And Devi and Deities both, your answer was not at all what he was suspecting. He was both elated, and also confused. Why would you feel as if it was a terrible thing? What had he done to make you believe he wouldn't reciprocate your feelings? 

"I love you." Your words rang in his head, along with the fact that his bloodline ability had not. Not even the faintest buzz of a half-lie when you called him handsome. 

Balam was sure - especially from the way you had been returning every kiss with desperation and making those soft pleased noises - that he would have ended up taking you right then and there if your phone hadn't rang. 

He listened to you argue with Sullivan, insisting you were unharmed and okay while your face continued to be deeply flushed. 

He couldn't ruin his chances. He wanted you; not just in a deep primal way, but as his mate. To be by your side for the rest of his life. 

Balam had refused to even hope for such a chance in his younger years - sure no one would ever choose him between his disfigurement and odd traits - but now there was more than just ephemeral hope, it was a very real possibility. And with you. 

He couldn't recall all the intricate details of courting, having given up on such ideas while attending Babyls as a student. But he did remember one thing. 

An Offering. A token of his affection and a symbol of his intention. 

"I am so sorry," You apologized after ending the call with your adoptive father and turning your attention back to him. Your face was still pink with a hint of guilt in your eyes. 

He couldn't resist reaching out to cup your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb. "You have nothing to apologize for."

You scoffed dryly, but leaned into his touch. "Launching myself at Raim? Dad was freaking out because he heard through the grapevine that you carried me away because I was 'heavily injured' or something. Students and their dramatics, I swear." 

He frowned slightly, "...okay, you may have a point there. Though you're hardly to blame for the latter."

Your cheeks darkened a little more as you looked away. "Well, he did… interrupt." 

Devi, you were so cute. He had never seen you look so shy, yet not pulling away from him. For which Balam was thankful, he missed being able to be so close. To enjoy how supple your skin was beneath his gloves, or that enticing scent of yours underneath the cologne. 

"Speaking of which," He started, drawing himself out of his admiration. He removed his hand from your cheek, only to take your small hands in his. He was sure there was a dusting of pink to his own face, plain to see since his mask continued to lay forgotten on the floor. "I-I'm sure you already know, considering my… earlier behavior. But, I-I adore you. I adore so many things about you, and I…"

You tilted your head faintly, confusion apparent in your eyes as he trailed off, unable to complete his sentence. "Balam, what are you trying to say?" 

His dark eyes met yours as he squeezed your hands softly. "...would you please call me Shichiro?" He said instead of what he really wanted to ask.

Still, you smiled up at him, happiness apparent in your eyes. "Y-yes! I would love to." 

He held onto your hand as you gently tried to pull away, causing that smile to fade. "I would also like to know…if you would allow me the honor of courting you?"

Shock crossed your face at his words, which only spurred him to ramble nervously. "I know you're not overly familiar with the customs, but I would happily explain them to you. And maybe you could explain your own customs regarding romance, and I'd do my best to observe them if that would make you happy. And--"

"Yes," You answered suddenly, interrupting him. "I mean, well, yes! I would--I would really love all of that."

"You would? Really?" He couldn't help but ask, the anxiety easing as you laughed, unable to contain your happiness. Your face was lit up with a bright smile, virtually beaming with happiness. So vastly different than just a few moments before.

"Yes! I really would, Shichiro." 

Hearing you say his name so fondly was too much. He quickly picked you up, grinning as you let out a surprised yelp before laughing again, wrapping your arms around him. He buried his face against the crook of your neck, breathing in deep. 

Yes. You said yes.

He held you tight, hardly believing reality. Especially as he felt you comb your fingers through his hair, feeling your smile pressed against his cheek and ear as you peppered him with soft kisses. 

"Oh! Wait! An offering!" He exclaimed, setting you down. "This isn't very traditional, but I didn't have time to prepare. I really hope it's okay…"

"Shichiro…" You started to protest as he took your hand in his, yet looked upwards to where Nigyul was sitting amongst the vines, his yellow eyes almost glowing in the deep shadows.

The wooden dragon jumped from his perch onto your shoulder, surprising you. But your smile returned as he rubbed his snout against your cheek, an odd sort of purring rattle echoing from his chest. 

Shichiro smiled, happy to see him so accepting of you. It made him more sure about his plan as he plucked a lock of vines from Nigyul's mane.

The plant still reacted to his mana as he laid it across your wrist, feeding it enough of his power that it grew and twisted into a bracelet of light green vines.

It wasn't the height of fashion, but he hoped it was acceptable anyways. At least, for now. "I'll get you something more significant or prettier later…"

"I love it," You interrupted as you pulled your hand away from his to look at it closely. How the vines intertwined in a chaotic-looking braid, with no way to tell where it began or ended. It wasn't too bulky or dainty, but just right as it hugged your wrist. 

"Being made of the vines of a Nigyupnil, it can withstand nearly anything. I'm not sure how it will react to human mana, but it should survive as long as I feed it my own at least once a week."

You marveled at the bracelet, smiling slightly as you allowed the dragon on your shoulder to inspect it before you turned to him, your smile shifting to a frown. "This… isn't just a dream, is it?" You asked, a hint of fear and trepidation in your voice. "I-I'm not going to wake up in my bed with all of this just a fantasy in my head, right?"

Shichiro felt his heart squeeze, and caressed your face softly. He could understand your worry, because he could admit he was concerned about the same thing. This felt way too good to be true, to be real. 

Yet at the same time, he knew it was no dream, no night time fantasy borne of his inner most desires. "I promise, darling, its not." 

--+-- Su-Ki-Ma--+--

Raim had a wicked smile on her face as she barged into Furcus' office.

"I presume you have a good reason for being here," Furcus asked, looking up from the homework she had been grading.

"Oh yes," Raim purred as she sat down. "You know how our little Librarian has been edging an evil cycle for the past week or so?" 

"Mmm, I think everyone is aware. I was going to bring it up to Dali that she should be allowed a few extra days off before she snaps."

"Well, I may have decided to forgo Dali… or even the chairdemon," Raim admitted with a hint of guilt. "But, in my defense, the sexual tension between her and Balam has been driving me crazy. Teenagers are one thing, but those two…" She fanned herself dramatically. "Well, it gets my own instincts worked up, you know? 

The older female groaned and rubbed her face. "Devi, what did you do?" 

Raim bit back a smile. "You know how with little ones you have to push them a bit for their first few evil cycles? Encourage them to let go so they don't get too wild and wicked?"

Furcus' dark eyes narrowed. "Are you saying you did that. With Lord Sullivan's own daughter? In the middle of school hours." 

"She's rankless, so I figured it's not like she could harm anyone." Raim's smile faded slightly. "How a demon like Lord Sullivan could sire someone as weak as her, I can't understand. But her son seems to take after his grandfather…" 

"It is a bit of a mystery," Furcus agreed. "Actually, the whole thing seems suspicious, to be honest, but it's not our place to question. Lord Sullivan claims them as kin, and they're marked with his power. As long as they do not place the school in danger, we shall abide." 

Raim nodded, serious for a moment before grinning and leaning in close. "But that isn't all that happened. So, Balam appeared during our little tussle, and you should have seen him. You would have thought he had already claimed her as a mate and I was trying to seduce her away from him! Granted, she did look awfully tempting bound by his vines. I can't believe I never gave thought about our gargoyle and his abilities in the bedroom before…." 

#mairimashita! iruma kun #welcome to demon school iruma kun #balam/reader #balam shichiro

[masterjedilenawrites]

In Other Words: Chapter 2

Hux x fem!reader | 2.1k words

Content warnings: Mentions of torture/interrogation, brief descriptions of injuries, cursing

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You sat across from your friend Nat in the cafeteria that evening, though brooded was a more apt description of your state. Nat had always been one of those women who had luck on her side. Everywhere she went, no matter what stupid decision she made, she still managed to scrape by without any real consequences. And usually she found a lover amidst the chaos, too.

This situation was no exception.

"Kieron is also in mechanical," Nat said around a mouthful of bread. Based on the sickly pallor of her skin, you guessed this may have been her first proper meal in a week. In fact, if you let yourself think about it, you would realize you couldn't remember the last time you'd eaten, either. "He oversees maintenance for the bridge. So not my direct supervisor, but he'll be training me."

She spoke so casually, as if this was her first day on a job she'd applied for, in a place she wanted to be. This mechanic fellow - Sergeant Kieron Beloch - was equally relaxed, leaning back in his chair and resting an arm along the back of hers. He was objectively good looking, though not quite your type. His expression was bored. He had only made two seconds of eye contact with you when you'd first arrived. Like he couldn't care less about anything if he tried. Much more Nat's type; she liked the challenge of getting them to care. You gave it to the end of the week before they started sharing a bed.

You stayed silent, your arms crossed and gaze set on this absurd display before you. A tray of stew and bread stayed untouched on the table in front of you.

"You okay?" Nat asked, pausing her inhalation of food to look up at you in concern. Then, as she usually did, she answered her own question. "You're not okay. You look sick."

"So do you," you grumbled back.

Only Nat could laugh at such a thing. "Oh that interrogation was awful, wasn't it? Did you get the hot needles? That was the worst."

She shrugged one of her sleeves up to reveal a horrible mess of pin-pokes and rashes up her arm. You mirrored the action, placing the purple bruising you'd incurred next to hers for comparison.

"Pressure splints."

Nat winced but then laughed again. "What a joke. These motherfuckers..."

You wanted so badly to yell at her, remind her how serious this situation was, how it was all her doing, that she'd better come up with a way to get you two out of here as fast as possible. But you couldn't; not with her soon-to-be First Order boyfriend at the table.

"So, where did they assign you?" she asked. "Figures they'd want to keep us apart."

You decided to pick up your spoon and start eating, just to not have to answer that question right away.

"You're with the General, right?" Beloch finally spoke, lazily turning his attention over to the two of you.

Nat choked on her stew, a similar reaction to yours when you'd found out.

"Like... General Hux? That General?"

You stayed silent as Beloch supplied the explanations for you. "I was supposed to train both of you, but I got a memo this morning that they wanted you to be his personal assistant, instead."

"Personal assistant?You're kidding..." Nat's eyes were wide and the corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to hold back her laughter. This was almost as bad as the time she'd talked you into helping her vandalize the school hallways but you'd been the one to get caught and punished for it. You'd spent every weekend for the rest of the semester scraping gum off tables.

"Don't you dare," you snapped at her before she could fully show her amusement.

She put her hands up in feigned innocence, though the laughter was already making its way out. "What? I wasn't going to say anything."

"Bad gig," said Beloch, helpful as ever. "No assistant's lasted more than a few rotations."

You didn't want to ask, but you knew the answer could help Nat see what an ass she was being for not taking this seriously. "What happens to them? The ones that don't last?" 

Beloch smirked, the first real sign of feeling on his face and it was at your expense. Great. "Kicked out. Dishonorable discharge."

"Well I'm not allowed off the ship, ex-Resistance and all... so I'm sure I'll have a much worse fate." You pointed your words at your friend, whose amusement had subsided enough for her to resume eating.

"You'll do fine." She reached across the table to squeeze your hand. "You're good at this sort of thing."

You withdrew your hand. "What sort of thing?"

"You know... Assisting. Helping people out."

"You mean I'm good at being someone's bitch."

"That's not what I said."

"But it's what you meant."

Nat said your name with pleading eyes, making you almost regret the path you were going down. You chewed the inside of your cheek, considering your next words.

"You haven't even apologized," you finally settled on. You'd give her one way out of this. It wouldn't be much, it certainly wouldn't change the fact your life was now in the hands of General Hux, of all people. But hearing her say it might help you get through the night.

"Apologize for what?"

Your skin seemed to catch fire. Before you could find out what your anger may have prompted you to do, Beloch sat forward.

"Don't make a scene," he warned.

"Or what," you challenged back. Your ears were ringing and you couldn't tell if your lungs were still breathing or not. Nat sat across from you with a look of pure confusion, and you knew her well enough to know it wasn't an act, which honestly infuriated you even more. She really, truly did not see the problem with being here. You now wondered if she'd ever cared about what side of the war she stood on.

"I'm staff Sergeant in this sector," Beloch was saying. "I can write you up for insubordination."

You turned your fuming gaze over to him, another extension of Nat's carelessness. "And I'm a Second Lieutenant," you retorted. "So I believe I'm the one with rank here."

Beloch's eye twitched dangerously, or at least, you thought it did. It was only a second, you were probably just imagining it in your heated state. The next second, he was leaning back and resuming his previous apathetic attitude.

"Indeed you are," he muttered.

"A Lieutenant?" Nat asked, still looking confused.

You refused to look back at her. An awkward silence hung around the table now. Nat stared at you, you stared at your untouched food, Beloch stared off into the distance. How long you would've remained like that otherwise was up to a guess, for an overheard snippet of conversation about the time from the next table over made you startle out of it.

"Wait, what time is it?"

You flipped the datapad you'd left on the bench beside you over to look at the time - 10 to 8.

"Kriff."

You were flushed for different reasons now. One of the first instructions Hux had given you, and you were minutes away from screwing it up. You were not eager to find out what would happen to you should you join the ranks of his failed assistants, no thank you.

You could hear Nat call your name as you rushed to leave the mess hall. You could also hear what sounded like Beloch telling her to let it go. You had to push away your lingering feelings about the situation with your friend, and instead turn focus to editing the final section of Hux's itinerary while you navigated the hallways back to his office in time.

* * *

Hux's eyes scanned the page over a few times, trying to buy himself some time. She'd put together a perfectly acceptable schedule, well formatted, had even managed to spell the names of the officers he'd be meeting with correctly. With no faults to point out, he'd need to consider how he would respond to her first efforts in impressing him. A balance between acknowledging her success and keeping her humble about it.

"This will do," he ended up deciding would be adequate. And then, as an almost laughable afterthought as he had no idea where it came from, "thank you."

He sat down the page and looked up at her, immediately noting the anxious energy she'd arrived with was still present, even after his subtle praise. It was clear she'd rushed to get here, but was she also nervous? Or pretending to be?

"Nervous about something?" he pointed out, to see how she'd respond.

"No, sir. General."

He suppressed an eye roll at her continued inability to address him properly.

"I'm, uh, glad the itinerary met your expectations. I'll continue to prepare it that way unless you direct me otherwise."

Gods above, he really didn't know what to make of her. He tried again.

"Have you had a chance to reunite with your friend yet? What was her name? Mur-something?"

"Mercer. Natalia Mercer."

Ah, now there was a reaction he understood. A clench of the fist, a sudden tightness to her tone, and no attempts to answer his initial question. They were not friends after all, despite what it said in their interrogation reports.

Either that, or something had happened in the past few hours.

"I'm sure you are relieved to see she is well," he pressed.

The woman took a few seconds to visibly compose herself before answering, "Yes, I am."

"Are you really?"

She seemed surprised by the question.

"I... Yes. I am. Of course I am... Sir."

She was reassuring herself. He knew exactly what it was like, to try to convince yourself of the truth of your own words, no matter how bad the taste they left in your mouth.

Perhaps that's why he relented from his line of questioning. Softened his suspicions, just a little. Just this time.

"Yes, of course you are," he said lightly. "And I'm sure you are also quite tired from the ordeal you've been put through these past days...."

He trailed off just long enough to see if she'd agree. Her gaze dropped and he supposed that was as good as he'd get, so he continued.

"I'll tell you what. I've managed without an assistant for a few weeks now, I can manage for one day more. Take tomorrow to catch up on your rest."

"No, I'll be fine, I can work," she was quick to offer.

"Nonsense," he was just as quick to dismiss her show. "I can't have my assistant be distracted and dragging their feet. Take the day."

"I'm not distracted, Sir. General. I promise. I'm up to it. I won't disappoint you."

And now he was back in that confusing place of not being able to figure out her angle. Clearly she had one, insisting she work when any other person would gladly take a day to rest when offered. Well, perhaps he wouldn't have, either. But he had more to prove than most, just as it seemed this woman did, too.

He sighed. "Very well. Accompany me on the bridge in the morning. I want people getting used to you, so you won't have any pushback on completing your duties."

He recalled how his early approach with personal assistants, treating them passively or downright ignoring them, only led to others not taking them seriously. It'd caused him more work in the long run, and an embarrassing self-realization that he was acting just like his father, prioritizing pride and image over efficiency. Never again.

"Yesss... General." She almost stuttered on the word but managed to get the correct one out in time.

"You are dismissed," he flicked a hand at her, and again tried to discreetly watch as she left his office.

She was hiding something, he was sure of it. Something to do with her supposed friend. Perhaps only one of them was a spy. Or perhaps the friend was envious of her position as his assistant, so much closer to real intel. Or perhaps....

A call suddenly rang out on his personal line. He would stay connected to it for now, until he figured out the deal with this new assistant and could trust her to screen his calls for him. He accepted the call and was met with a helmet so shiny even the holo lines reflected it.

"Yes, Phasma, what is it?"

"It's Ren," her metallic voice rang out. "He's coming back early."

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[a-hobit]

Honestly, what's annoying about 'good guy/parent' philip isn't that it might make people ignorant to the extent irl abusers/war criminals can be redeemed — it's that a lot of these AUs as so fucking BORING!!

I think Philip is a fine villain for the series but i don't care all that much about him. I just dislike the desire to sand down villain/antagonist characters' flaws or entire personality for the sake of uninteresting fan content. You're right! Character are just clay but folks gotta learn how to make pottery lol

It's true. Many of them don't really want to talk about how if some person actually realized that they murdered a bunch of innocent people and then suddenly gave a shit they might just commit suicide. Or that when you take away all of the "Evil" character traits he's just...some dude. And then what villain do you have? Nobody really wants to take "make the villain realize he's a villain" to like the genuinely probable extreme. What if he's a narcissist? Do you get rid of those traits or keep them? What if he's a sociopath -- a psychopath? If your villains pastime is murdering people you're going to have an extremely hard time keeping an interesting character when you sand down all the horrible things that make up what they are as a person. It's why I didn't make him a good kid in my own AU.

Because he's just fundamentally fucking crazy and it's interesting as a character.

BUT also people can do what they want to do as long as its harming nobody. Again, I do think there's a lot of truth to showing abusers in a good light and how that can affect people but I am not going to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't make an AU (within reason) . I am not an expert or a phycologist.

#ahobit asks #ahobit rants

[thedo0zyslider]

I Love You (I'm Not Supposed Too) - Chapter Six: Secrets Kept No More - 4k Words

Fwhip finally finds out what Jimmy wanted to say all those months ago.

A03 Link

The next few days in the Ocean Empire were pretty routine. And boring. Every day is almost the same, save for a few moments when he and Jimmy would either sneak away together, or they got too tired of each other's presence and retreated to their chambers for a few hours. Other than that, they would wake up, and head to the Cod Empire to do whatever needed done. Helping a whole group of people properly establish themselves was a lot of work, work Fwhip hadn’t signed up for. But he helped anyways, because there was nothing else to do, not really.

The work was pretty standard, all things considered. They helped people get back on their feet, did boring government stuff Fwhip always zoned out on, like he did at home, built things, helped with the farms, and sometimes they were even put on babysitting duty. Though the half dragon wasn’t very trusted in that department for a few obvious reasons. Mainly the bigotry and his usual impulsiveness, but he didn’t mind. Fwhip was never a big fan of kids anyways. And then, at the end of the day, when the little tasks were done, they headed back to the Prisma Palace for dinner and whatever the Ocean Queen wanted them to do. If she wanted anything.

The half dragon is given a guest room, one with a giant, plush bed and a lot of decor on the wall. Merfolk liked to line their homes with shell and other such trinkets, as he’d come to notice, and the guest rooms were no exception. Just like the rest of the palace, his room was also very pink and blue and white. Fwhip thinks he could go his whole life without seeing this color palette ever again, and be perfectly content.

One morning, maybe a week or so into the trip, the future Count awakens earlier than normal. He doesn’t know why, but he does know the sun is streaming through his room’s window; meaning he should get out of bed pretty soon. He has a feeling the queen doesn’t take lightly to oversleepers, even if he had helped carry loads of stone and wood and whatnot around the swamp all yesterday and probably needed the extra rest. But whatever, her house, her rules, the ginger supposed.

He dresses in his normal attire, minus the black coat. He hates taking it off, but less layers means he won’t get as sweaty. Especially since he does manual labor most of the day, or a lot of walking. Fwhip was used to extreme heat in the forge, not the humidity of a swamp in the summertime. Also, it’s just less fabric to get all muddy and gross. His poor boots though will need to be deep cleaned when he’s home, all the shoes he brought with him will. It feels like there’s water permanently in the leather nowadays, even when there’s not.

But that’s not the focus right now. The focus is getting ready and then getting breakfast. Ocean cuisine was a little….unusual for his tastes, but he did like a few of the dishes. Disturbing meals including both salmon and cod aside. Thankfully those weren’t usually served at breakfast, so he could avoid them until dinner or lunch time most days. Usually .

Fwhip steps out of his door a few minutes later, right after he finishes his morning routine…..and realizes he doesn't have a clue where the dining hall would be in this gigantic place. He ate there for dinner the previous night, but this place is so huge compared to the Manor. He has no idea how to even get back there, despite having a small tour when he arrived. Also, it would feel very awkward walking in without Jimmy.

He mumbles something to himself, grumpy from another bad night of sleep. It was hard to get any rest with waves constantly roaring all night long. His sleep deprivation, which was worse than normal, was probably making the whole trip more unpleasant than it actually was. The Ocean and its Empire were quite pretty, one had to admit, and the half dragon was sure he’d enjoy it more if it would let him sleep .

The ginger walks down to Jimmy’s room as he grumbles, the only place in the Palace he’s somewhat sure of the location of. That and his guest room. Mostly because they are in close proximity to each other, likely done on purpose, and because they’re the two most important rooms he passes every evening. He thinks he’s figured out where the library (the above water one) is though. He thinks.

He finds the Prince’s room, with less struggle than he had a few days ago. Fwhip only turned the wrong corner a few times! Yesterday he’d done that like, six or seven, so, progress! And while he’s never really…..knocked on Jimmy’s door, he knows the other is awake around this time. The cod had woken him up from a restless sleep far too often, enough that was decently familiar with the others' general sleep shedulce. Visiting him real quick would be fine , especially if he got breakfast at the end of it.

Fwhip opens the door, and he really, really should've knocked. He opens the door to a shirtless Jimmy, presumably in the middle of changing, and it takes the half dragon a good minute of shocked staring to realize that a binder is covering his chest. Jimmy whips his head around to face him, some kind of fear clearly in his gaze. The future Count kinda wants to punch himself for being so stupid.

Once he has that realization, the half dragon feels himself start to fumble out of embarrassment. “Oh, shit , sorry —I didn’t know you were-" He stumbles over his words, feeling a blush start to creep up his face. He politely keeps his gaze on the floor, his hand searching for the doorknob once again. The young prince is not having any of this, and the half dragon can’t really blame him.

“Just leave, okay!?” The cod snaps at him, and Fwhip listens to this guy for what has to be one of the first times ever. He ducks his head back out as soon as he finds the knob again, closing the door behind him with a rather loud slam. Silently, he slides down against the nearest wall, and resists the urge to scream into his own hands. That had been mortifying for him, making that big of a mistake. He can’t even imagine how Jimmy must feel right now, being seen like that. Being seen in what has to be some kind of vulnerable moment, by someone he certainly doesn’t want to be vulnerable with.

He sits there, slumped against the wall for a few minutes; hands running over his face and through his now messy hair. The future Count isn't really sure what to do after…. that . Mainly there are just a lot of things going through Fwhip's head as he sits there. He's pretty flustered, not ever intending to do that, and is sure a fierce blush is currently coating his face. Part of him knows it might be better that he leaves, because Jimmy will very understandably be scared to next confront him. The other part doesn't feel right just leaving. He feels like he needs to apologize. No, Fwhip wants to apologize. He feels bad, which certainly is a new emotion around the young cod.

The castle is still quiet, and it seems their little encounter hadn't disturbed anyone, thank god. Fwhip didn't want their screaming to accidentally out Jimmy to anyone else, for he had already heard some terms the staff used towards the prince. No servants have even begun moving towards the hall yet, and no footsteps can be heard in the distance. The Ocean Empire has rather quiet mornings, as opposed to the Grimlands rather loud and explosive ones. Which is good right now, he supposes. A quiet castle gives you more time to regain your bearings.

There is some shuffling by the door, and the doorknob starts to turn once again. Fwhip, still pretty stricken by the whole ordeal despite his best efforts, looks up in surprise. His suitor doesn't emerge instantly, taking his time to fully leave his bedroom. But when he does, the sight only makes the half dragon feel even more guilty.

Jimmy slowly shuffles out, his bedroom door being shut quietly behind him. Probably not to disturb anyone else in any nearby rooms, if there are any. He's finished changing, now wearing a green tunic. Not a skintight one like merfolk usually wore, but one that was clearly meant for a bigger person. One clearly meant to hide things, Fwhip would now notice. He suspects it isn’t the first time Jimmy has denied his species traditional attire in front of him, and probably won't be the last. The cod's face is red, his eyes puffy, and a weak frown painting his face. Fwhip feels a sinking feeling in his stomach at the thought of Jimmy crying because of him and his dumb mistake.

"Are you okay?" He asks, meeting the others' gaze tentatively. The future Count has no idea if the other is angry at him and, for once, wouldn't blame him if he was.

"I'm fine." Jimmy says, and it is clearly a lie. He's shaking, and leaning on the wall for support. Like he'll collapse and break down if he doesn't do so. It's not hard to believe that he will, either.

"You're shaking, and your eyes are red." Fwhip points out, scanning over the blonde's face. He's been crying his eyes out, that much is clear. So much so that if Lizzie were to walk by, she'd probably punch the future Count on the spot.

"Why do you care?" The cod asks, slumping down next to him. He's even surprised Jimmy wants to sit next to him after that, but he lets it happen anyway. They sit a few inches apart, not enough to touch, but not far enough to feel fully awkward. It's just enough space for the time being.

"Because I'm not stupid. I know what I just did." Fwhip says, feeling a frown stretching onto his face the longer this conversation goes on. He doesn't like the tone the other has, whatever it is. It's upsetting.

Jimmy forces a smile, and lets out a broken sounding laugh. “Well, didn’t want you to see my boobs. But you were gonna one day I guess, since the mar-”

“Don’t.” Fwhip cuts him off, running a hand over his face again. “Please don’t joke about….any of that stuff, okay? Not a good time.” It will come to concern Fwhip slightly, the kind of self hating jokes Jimmy makes about the marriage and himself. Because he'll make more in the future, and the half dragon will have to knock the habit out of him he supposes. “Also, not really our thing.”

“Sorry. Sorry. I know, bad joke. I’m just…a little upset.” The cod mumbles, hanging his head a bit. Not in shame, just lingering embarrassment. Fwhip feels a wrong sort of feeling settling in his stomach, and frowns. “And yeah…that’s not our thing.”

“I know….you’re probably upset.” He says, wholly sincere with Jimmy. Probably for like, the second time ever if he’s being honest. Because he would hate himself if he was anything but sincere under today’s circumstances. They were far too serious for his usual attitude. "Sorry about walking in without knocking or anything…I won’t do it again."

Jimmy takes a moment to respond, the back of his head hitting the wall with a dull thunking sound. "It's fine, really. You were gonna find out eventually. Probably. I just wanted it to be under…different circumstances is all."

Fwhip hums, and wraps his tail around his legs. It had been awkwardly laying on the floor before now, and it was…..strangely comforting to wrap it around himself. Even though he wasn't the one who needed comfort right now. "Sorry about that too."

"Not the worst thing in the world." Jimmy hums, watching his movement. He seems like he's zoning out a little bit, his mind wandering elsewhere. To other things and other trains of thoughts, more troubling ones probably.

"I kinda already knew. Thought I should mention that." Fwhip hums, glancing away to stare at the wall. He doesn't want to see Jimmy’s face when he responds, whatever that response may be.

"Oh?" Is all the cod responds with. He sounds…curious, and only that. Thankfully. Fwhip didn't know if the other would've been angered by that or whatever.

He glances back at Jimmy when he explains it, and is met with a look of slight curiosity. Which is fair, to Jimmy’s credit, he passes very well. Fwhip is just very good at noticing details. “When they told us about the marriage, our parents called you a princess and stuff. And the staff have been too. I just didn't want to assume anything, y'know?"

"Yeah, my mom's probably the reason for that. I didn't take them for… that type of person." The blonde nods, taking the others' explanation into consideration for a moment. The ginger would pay so much money to know what's running through his head right now.

"No, they're not like that." Fwhip confirms, briefly thinking back on his parents. Despite whatever way they might have failed him and his sister before, they had always been nothing but supportive of their children's identities. One of the few good qualities they both shared, if they shared any at all. "I could mention it to them….?"

The offer is said tentatively, but Jimmy looks so incredibly relieved at hearing it. "Please." He says, and Fwhip nods. He cannot help but wonder what hell this boy has been living through for so long, to be so relieved when even the most basic decency is shown to him.

“Sorry about how we left things, when you were forgotten at the manor. By the way.” The half dragon adds, somehow remembering to say sorry for that. Take that , memory issues. “I was just….I was starting to guess and didn’t know how to ask you.”

“It’s okay..” Jimmy says, trying to crack a smile. It's weaker than he would probably like it to be, but it's a start. Fwhip grins back, and neither of them have anything more to say. Not immediately, at least.

“You don’t…have a problem with it do you?” Jimmy nearly whispers the question into the silence. They've been sitting in quiet for a few minutes, and Fwhip had grown content to stare at the Palace's prismarine walls until one of them decided to move again.

Fwhip tilts his head to the side curiously, a little scared of what the other is about to ask. “With what?”

“With me being….with me having girl stuff. And you having to marry that. ” Jimmy spits out some of the words with such venom, that Fwhip is shocked by it. He feels a surprising wave of pity wash over him, for this boy he hates so much, and it's the first time ever he has to stop himself from hugging the young cod.

“No, I don’t. Why the hell would I?” He says, like it is the easiest thing to say. Because it is. To the blonde it's something he never expected to hear.

“Oh…” Jimmy sounds…..so genuinely surprised at his answer. “It’s just…some people would. Some people do. ”

“Those people suck.” His answer is spit out in an instance, full of more passion than he thought was possible. Those people do suck. They suck a lot .

“Yeah.” Jimmy agrees meekly, hesitantly slumping down and resting his head on the half dragon's shoulder. Fwhip lets him do so, not caring that a merfolk is touching him right now. He needs it a lot right now, he figures.

They sit in the silence for a few seconds once more, in the white and blue hallway of the Prisma Palace. Two people who should, and do, hate each other, but aren't really acting like it. They haven't had the energy to act like it for a while, Fwhip thinks, with how shit everything is. How the world constantly throws terrible things at the both of them and expects the boys to just cope . That's what it feels like, anyways.

Maybe it'll be better when they're older.

"You do know you're not the only one of us who's like that, don't you?" Fwhip mumbles, his cheek now resting against the blonde's head. He doesn't know how long they've been in the hallway, but the palace hasn't started its normal routine yet. So he guesses it can't have been too long. Maybe one of the maids or cooks will find them, and ask why in the bloody hell two royals are sitting in a dirty hallway, cuddling.

Jimmy gets a little excited, as told by his tail smacking the wall a few times before he realizes it's moving. "No…?"

"Well, Xornorth’s nonbinary, and Sausage is pretty gender nonconforming.” Fwhip says, trying to remember everyone who's come out so far. He doesn't know all their labels, if some people have any, but he tries his best to get them right. “And Shrub isn't entirely a girl."

"Oh…I didn't know that." Jimmy hums, sounding happier than he had before. The half dragon briefly wonders if, when the thirteen of them are together again, that a labels debrief would make some people feel more included.

"None of us are straight either, I don’t think." Fwhip might’ve not been up to date on all the labels, but he was pretty sure of that fact. That their whole group were all horribly not straight in some way, some more obviously than others.

Jimmy lets out an amused snort at that. "Of course." That's the right phrase for it really, of course . Of course all the royal children are queer as hell. Of course most of their parents suck too. How else would it be with their little group?

"Why're you being so nice to me over this?" The cod adds on after a moment, cautious, and has every right to be so.

Fwhip resists the urge to roll his eyes, and spits out the honest truth. He really wonders if Jimmy thought that lowly of him before, say, maybe twenty to thirty minutes ago. The half dragon wouldn’t be surprised if he did, not after everything. "I don't like you and I think you're annoying as hell, but I'm not cruel ."

"Thanks for that, I guess." Jimmy mumbles, sounding shocked and surprised again. Fwhip hears that tone, he’s heard it too many times today, and truly starts to wish the world would be kinder to this poor fishboy. Sans himself and his very justified hatred, of course.

"Don't thank me for treating you like a human being." The half dragon snorts, and fixes Jimmy with a look . He’s pretty sure the meaning of it goes right over the blonde’s head, too. The utter idiot “And we have that truce, remember? No being assholes ‘till we’re hitched?”

“Yeah…the truce. Almost forgot about that.” Jimmy mumbles, sounding a little thoughtful once again. Maybe he’s been full of thoughts this whole time, and Fwhip’s just shit at noticing. Or he’s running out of words to describe the cod, because they have never interacted like this before. He has a very limited vocabulary when it comes to describing Jimmy. Today he is running out of words he hasn’t used, and also adding new ones. “We’re not good at following it, are we?” Jimmy keeps talking, and Fwhip barely hears him, lost in his own thoughts it seems. He hated how easy that was to do.

(Adding new ones like sad , and mistreated , and stressed , and traumatized and a whole bunch of other words he has no more room for in the half dragon’s never ending whirlwind of a mind.)

“No, but I like to think we’ve gotten better.” He mumbles out a response, taking a few precious seconds to clear his head. They’ve certainly gotten better, or at least more tolerable of each other’s presence, because Fwhip isn’t pinning Jimmy into a wall and holding him hard enough to bruise anymore. They had to have gotten better, because his mental health hasn’t. Both of their have probably gotten worse over the years, actually.

“We have to be. Because they’re all buying it. Every single one of them.” Jimmy says, and it’s the most confident he’s sounded in a while, and will sound all day. He also sounds more than a little scared, and Fwhip can’t help but share the sentiment a bit.

“Good. Good.” He mumbles, and doesn’t want to admit that he feels some of the same fear. They are going along with this whole thing out of fear, it’s the whole reason why they’re even sitting here in the first place. Fear of judgment, of failure of duty, of disappointment. Of what their parents would say. Even if they don’t really talk about it, both of them know that’s what’s happening. Body language always says a lot more than both the boys wish it would.

Jimmy changes the topic back to their earlier, less daunting one. It seems a lot still weighs on his mind, which is to be expected with a situation and life like this. "I want to get…the surgery for it, but, ah.…my mum won't let me.."

"Well, maybe you can get it before the wedding….?" Fwhip threw out the suggestion lightly, and gave a small shrug of his shoulders. Before the wedding was a vague timeframe. Realistically, that could be as soon as they’re both legal adults, or within the next five years. But it was a time frame that they could aim for, and that was better than nothing. And if Jimmy's mom wouldn’t let him get that surgery, than Fwhip would be the one throwing him in front of the healers instead, shitty parents be damned.

He’d really had enough of shitty parents recently.

"Hmph, maybe…" Jimmy mumbles. He hopes the sound in the other’s voice is hope, faux or real. They need some positive emotions right now, he’s already feeling emotionally drained from the guilt and the shame and whatnot. It’s not even seven in the morning, either.

“The truce extends to that too, by the way.” Fwhip adds, nudging the others shoulder with his own. He feels a grin start to bloom on his face. One of his shit-eating ones that always makes Gem groan and Sausage mirror it.

The cod gives him a confused look, his face scrunching up with the feeling. He’s not despondent anymore, so that’s a win for Team Fwhip! Sadly the only win today, but he might get some more as the hours wear on, especially if he keeps this attitude up. “Whaddya mean?”

“That means if someone’s being a transphobe, I get to deck them in the face. Even when we're married.” Fwhip explains, his grin getting larger. He does one of his normal hand gestures as he speaks, like he does with all his other explanations. Jimmy, well accustomed to the half dragon’s quirks, pays it no mind.

“Even my mum?” Jimmy asks, and sounds a little stupid when he does.

Fwhip nods, and feels tension unknot itself and leave the cod’s body from where they’re still pressed together. “Even your mom.”

“Heh, thanks.” Jimmy giggles, eventually having to muffle the laughter with his hand after a few minutes. Aannddd that’s two wins for team Fwhip, all within a minute or so of the last one. He better savor these — and this rare companionship with Jimmy — while the moment allows and before their normal bickering starts up once again.

“Again, don’t thank me.” Fwhip shrugs again, his tail finally uncurling from around himself. He doesn’t need any comforting measures, not immediately anyways. The tense and upset mood from earlier is long gone, now replaced with something lighter, even if both the royal’s hearts are still heavy with a lot of things.

“Force of habit, being polite is.” The cod says, his own tail swishing dully against the floor. It’s good to see he’s cheered up, and not crying anymore. And also not having to think about all the terrible treatment he receives. It’s good.

“So I’ve noticed.” Fwhip snorts, watching as the other starts to stand up. Jimmy gives all his limbs a stretch, since they’re still probably stiff from the night’s rest, and then holds a hand down to the other boy. The half dragon takes it without any complaint, or grumbles under his breath about having to touch a fish. Jimmy just helps him up, and it's probably the most simple yet complex interaction they’ve ever had. To date, anyways.

The Prince then starts to move down the hallway, past his door to where Fwhip thinks the dining hall is. The dining hall and a million other passageways and rooms he can’t remember. Dumb castles and their dumb, beautiful architecture. “Let’s go get breakfast, or something.”

“And where are we going after that?” The ginger follows behind, already mentally preparing himself for another six or more hours of helping the dumb cod people out. Him and Jimmy might be cool for today, but that doesn’t mean he suddenly likes all that mud and grime the swamp carries. Jimmy hums, sounding a little cheeky, and like he has his own shit-eating grin now smeared across his face. “Well, mom never said we had to be in the Cod Empire today. I was just scheduled there for three days this week…”

“So we’re getting a free day?” Fwhip thinks everything about him visibly lights up, from his voice to his demeanor. The mere thought of a free day, of finally being able to hide in his guest room, or the castle’s library, or wherever this dumb kingdom invented stuff, was enough to make his tail wag slightly. Anything, literally anything , but the horrible swamps and gross water again was going to make him beam.

“Basically, yeah.” Jimmy confirms, turning a corner without even thinking. Fwhip envy's everyone who has the dumb Palace mapped out already, and doesn’t struggle getting around. So he basically envies everyone who lives there.

“Finally, time away from you.” The ginger huffs, gloved hands being shoved in his coat pockets. He tries to commit the winding corridors to memory again, and hopes it goes a little better this time.

“Finally.” Jimmy agrees, right as they reach the dining hall for breakfast. Either they walked really fast for some reason, or Fwhip’s memory of the place truly is horrible. He never thought it was that close to the bedrooms. But hey, they’re not serving fried salmon for breakfast again today, so as long as that keeps happening, he won’t complain about the proximity to food. Especially if a free day follows after it. He rarely ever gets free days, here or at home There’s always something, some project or dumb responsibility thing, to do. But now he’s finally getting one after what has to be months , maybe even years.

Maybe his stay in the Ocean won’t be so bad after all.

#ron.writing #jimmy solidarity #ron.fic #empires smp #fwhimmy #fwhip #tw transphobia #tw self harm #<- implied #ily (im not supossed too) #empiresfic #empires jimmy #empires fwhip #this is the shortest chapter yet i thinkk

[mono--chromatik]

The being simped after shit is genuinely uncomfortable. People push limits with that shit and it gets weird and intrusive reaaally fast. I hope you don't have to deal with that BS on top of how I've seen other people treat them already, I'm also glad you've been on a break from youtube, don't do shit that stresses you out unnecessarily. Also i suppose it's on topic but I hope people have stopped being a bit weirdly violent towards saturate, I don't really remember if that was something that ever discomforted you but I guess it got pushed really far a lot. I hope that people have like either leaned back on doing that or well. Stopped. It's weird to do that to someones. Like 12? Year old character. (I genuinely cannot remember. Damn it and my jokes.) -🧨🎖

I wish I could say I don't have to deal with that sort of thing, I really do. But for some reason videos seem to be the medium where people suddenly find it acceptable to treat people like content machines, or their creations like the next hit media all the kids are getting into.

Suppose that former bit is a side-effect of the animation meme community churning out flashy slop for every breakcore song n' conditioning kids to think they're owed it just.. *because*. But that latter part goes deeper in personal experience. Crazy to think some people think its normal to go to some total rando who they know but the rando Doesn't Know Them to tell me they think one of the characters I project issues onto is "kinda....... 😍😳."

Generally I'm really put off by romance for a variety of reasons so it's kind of like getting spat in my face. I'd prefer to let the people get distracted by the next "suggestive" ""16+"" animation meme than to entertain a crowd of people who can't listen to save their lives. Maybe i'll make something really boring for good measure.

As for the violence jokes about Saturate (13)? I'm pretty *shaky hand* ehh on it but I think the less I know the person making them the worse it is. I admittedly used to be similar when I was a young teen when I was in a community with next to no good adult guidance in it so I never really grasped the severity of that sort of thing at the time (or realized that ocs tend to be an outlet or projection of sorts! I realized that a little later).

People I know used to do it, but as we matured we kinda realized it was a bit shit. And having realized it I'm more prone to giving the stink eye to people who make child abuse jokes about her (especially when Greyscale is involved. crazy the balls some people have to be like that to total strangers).

Hooo long post. uhhh tl;dr:

making videos makes you eligible for audience demands,

i dont like simping cuz its gone further than just ocs in my experience,

people acting like this made me not wanna make animations,

saturate child abuse jokes still happen but a lot less. im much less tolerant of it from strangers

#2024 #asks #anon ask #long post

[caffeine-n-andreneline]

SnV Qin Shi Huang || Ying Zheng x Fem!Reader

Warnings: First fic lol, historical inaccuracies, typical cannon violence, a kid with trauma and a wannabe therapist, Soulmate AU, slowburn(?), Warring States period-ish, JJK cross over kinda-ish, baby qin needs a hug.

The notes of the koto reverberated throughout the Michizane household. The people laughed and drank sake to their heart's content, whilst applauding to the child in the middle of the room, playing the said instrument with finesse.

Accompanied with her voice, she sang much like a true virtuoso. It did not take long for her performance to end, the cheers dying down as the adults went on to mind their own business.

The girl with the (H/c) hair rose from her previous position and bowed down for gratitude. When she exited, two servants followed suit, storing away the heavy hunk of wood.

Now, she rests by the secluded part of their home, in an open porch, which showcases the serene Zen Garden that the Michizane managed whilst the gathering continued with their faint chatters in the background. Red cherry blossoms flutter with grace as they are coveted by the grassy grounds.

She opens the palm which bears her soulmate's first words upward to the midnight sky.

A single gray petal is what she sees.

Never had she seen the shade of red. That questionable goop of gray upon her lips as well as the women back inside the gathering? Or the fine silks and fabrics all over their house?

Even her own blood. Gray and so dark you could mistake it as black like ink. In all honesty? It's slowly–making her insane.

"Sunshine, it's chilly here. I suppose we should get you back inside." From behind her, a deep voice of a man startled her tiny heart, yet she still managed to put on a neutral face.

"You make such awful callings, father."

A man of tall stature came to her view. Her father, Michizane Sugawara, the patriarch of the household she resides in. A scholar once of common blood, he rose to his position today for his great contributions and efforts, became a vassal of a shogun–a daimyo which also holds the title of this state's diplomat.

"Well then, hm. Moonlight, how about we head back inside? I suppose there's still some daifuku left if I'm not mistaken." He continued, scooting beside her daughter.

The patriarch had his hair painted in snow, his eyes as blue as ice. Almost a carbon copy, aside her hair, to the pensive girl on his side.

"That's the same thing." The daughter bluntly replied.

"I suppose you're right."

Then there was a short pause.

"But you, you're not alright at all." Glancing to her daughter, he resumed.

"You can always tell me what ails you, you know?"

He waited for a response. A few moments have passed by, but still none. It seems the girl is in deep thoughts. Until the silence was broken with her declaration.

"I want to see red. It drives me mad. It should be a color that I see regularly everyday, yet it's replaced by this boring monotone color I see instead."

She ranted. Michizane knew this feeling all too well. There he decided bringing her along not only could give her experience, but also give her the opportunity to find what she seeks.

"Perchance you could see it soon." He gave her a reassuring smile.

"How do you know?" She asks, with her voice laced in doubt.

"My intuition tells me so. Did you know I can't see the colour of the rays of the sun when I have yet to meet your mother?"

"....must've been so bright."

"Yes, indeed. Your other half, surely they gaze upon the vast horizon of the heavens, and wonder when they could see the fleeting blues of the skies or the deep azure of the seas. When they could finally see those ocean eyes of yours."

This made the girl think even more deeply. Realizing it's not only she who longs for such. There could be even thousands if not millions of those who're blind to a certain colour.

The cold touch of her father's calloused hands made contact with her small and nimble ones. Slowly finding its way to her wrist, where her soulmate's first words are imprinted to her skin.

"I've taught you few about the dialect, haven't I, my moonlight?"

Slowly, he traces the calligraphy above her skin. She could only watch her father draw on her wrist and answer his question.

Back when she was younger, she found herself awestruck with his father's handiwork. She loved the crisp sound of paper being folded, the way his father used a brush to write the letters she could barely understand with elegance and precision.

One night, before going to sleep, his father had gifted her something. A box of brushes, along with a small jar of ink–and parchment of papers with drawn guides with the use of charcoal. Starting from there, her education on the arts of calligraphy and linguistics began.

And today, at such a young age–she's already considered to be a polyglot. A scholar ready to expand her knowledge.

".....yes? The archaic dialect used in the state of Qin nearby Zhao dynasty yonder?" The girl already knew the answer to this. It wouldn't take for an alchemist to figure it all out.

"Exactly. I suppose you already know what that means."

"My fated one is of foreign lands." Michizane saw the disappointment in her daughter's face. It appears that she can't hide what she feels well.

In her mind, she could only think of how only in her next life she could see red.

"And by the next full moon, we'll embark our way there."

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, processing the words her father had just said. Then when she came to an understanding, she just realized her father had just said that.

"Well, off we go now, my sweet. Unless we are to freeze to our deaths then we cannot see your soulmate!"

In a split second, the diplomat had already thrown and secured her daughter in his arms, giving her no time to retaliate as he marched his way back inside their warm home.

"Wait! Now hang on for just a second da–"

"Nuh uh, I already feel your brother's glutton radiating beyond these doors. We wouldn't want your daifukus to end up in his greedy belly, would we?"

Sugawara jests.

Notes: This fic will have Jujutsu Kaisen elements, hence the crossovers in the warnings. I'll be describing the reader as the diplomat's daughter and refrain on using "Y/n". One particular physical feature that I'll be explicitly describing the reader has is that they possess blue eyes. And the rest is up to your imagination. Fun fact! Michizane No Sugawara or in this case, the readers' father is Gojo Satoru's ancestor from jujutsu Kaisen.

#qin shi huang #snv qin shi huang #snv x reader #qin shi huang x reader #record of ragnarok x reader #record of ragnarok #ror x reader

[slenderverse]

love to see the watchmen stuff coming from you. i was working at the comic shop when doomsday clock and rorschach was coming out so i remember it pretty well :~) rorschach is my favorite character even though he's terrible. in every way. i kind of love him for it while dr manhattan is the worst guy ever. what are your thoughts

in a joking manner here r my thoughts:

in all seriousness my favorite characters r probably laurie, dan and rorschach :) i want to pin adrian to a corkboard like a moth and study him. adrian himself isnt an interesting character (or atleast as interesting as the others) but lord his dynamics w others need to be put on trial i think there's so much shown potential there. comedian is interesting and manhattan is too i jut also hate them both w a burning passion. obviously both of them are insane parallels abt the lost of humanity due to trauma that is treated as the norm or seen as simply just "as things are" (u ever think abt how comedian was 16 when he joined the minutemen? the same age laurie was when she joined the crimebusters?)

love what happened w laurie in the hbo series. love the rorschach comics. complex emotions abt the movie its both insanely accurate yet also makes me wanna rip my hair out bc there are some choices there that are absolutely insane??? are you fucking kidding me???? WHY. WHY DID U DO THAT TO MANHATTAN AND LAURIE'S ARC. HATE IT HERE.

before watchmen is good. most of it is shit but what is good is amazing. i love the minutemen i love the lore established there. obviously we can't talk abt watchmen adaptations without acknowledging how DC fucked over alan moore and dave gibbons but like. i am happy to get more content that i get to pull apart and examine because lord knows we're never getting the same type of content other DC franchises get.

THE VIDEO GAME IS SO WEIRD THE FIRST CHAPTER OF IT IS FASCINATING. I LOVE IT. THE SECOND CHAPTER IS BULLSHIT. UGH.

if prompted i could give personal reviews abt everything that ive read/consumed w watchmen. like detailed reviews. i think abt it constantly.

i actually have a watchmen oc/self insert bc thats how i consume media his name is jeremiah and he is. well! he sure is.

i dont like how most of the fandom writes dan and rorschach as a romantic relationship. not because i don't think there's something insanely homoerotic going on i just don't think they're able to be a functional couple. they've never gotten married but have divorced 20 times and 18 of those were rorschach's fault. i think there's a lot of untouched dynamics going on w adrian and comedian but i think that's just the watchmen that's in my head.

AND UHHH if i were to ever be in charge or have influence in a watchmen series i think we need something that focuses on the time when crimebusters first formed up until the keenes act. i realize that's been touched on in the comic but i found a lot of before watchmen rlly neglected that. i want more detail on backstory. my friend says that dev patel would play a great dan and honestly i think we should see where that goes. need more dan media. idc if he's "boring". he's my favorite war criminal.

#answers #brakshow #watchmen #dooo not think u meant or expected this much detail #and even then im kinda holding myself back from going into insane detail #watchmen is one of those media that i rotate in my mind Constantly but am in a stalemate where i dont have ppl to talk abt it with #so it just sits there and explodes #long post

[heliads]

hello! i was wondering if you could possibly do a spot conlon x reader where they're really good friends but she sees him getting a little chummy with another girl (but its only bc he wants to sell a pape but she doesnt know that) and so she becomes a little distant and when he confronts her, feelings come out and all

spot conlon is my boy my man my idol

masterlist

This is the part where it all breaks down.

This, right here, watching him talk to her, is where all of your carefully tied ends come undone, where your quiet afterthoughts revert back into raging storms. You had been doing so well up until now. You had been happy, if not blissful than certainly a meager sort of content, and then you had seen it.

This is also not where all of this begins. You are starting in the middle, finding the center of the storm, the worst destruction of your life. This is not where it starts, even if it feels like it all might end right here, right now. There is more before this, and before you can stop yourself, you pull it back to you.

There is a moment of spinning through time, and then your memories conjure up the perfect image of how it had all been. It is rare for girls in Brooklyn to survive by themselves on the streets for as long as you have, even more rare for them to seek a job amongst the masses of the newsies. You did both, and you did so quite admirably.

You can picture the memory just before it flashes before your eyes. He emerges out of gray haze and swirling inconsistency, walking briskly down a cobblestoned street that forms before your troubled gaze. Red shirt, bright as blood. Sharp grin, terrible as a knife. How he’d welcomed you with open arms.

It is unusual to look at a stranger and know immediately how much they’ll mean to you, but you’d swear a thousand times that you felt that sort of strength with Spot Conlon the second you laid eyes on him. You had heard scores of rumors about the brutal leader of the Brooklyn newsies, enough of his soaking kids for nothing but crossing his path to doubt even your own powers of persuasion.

When you’d tracked him down all those years ago, though, Spot hadn’t greeted you with fists but a smile. He admired your persistence, your unwillingness to take no for an answer. You’d told him outright that you would be working with the Brooklyn newsies before he could so much as ask for your name, and that was that.

Normally, Spot would never take that sort of insolence, but he must have felt something of the same strange familiarity as you did, because he just laughed like a drowning man and handed you the very cap off of his head as a job offer. He’d told you to never talk to him like that again, of course, but both of you knew he didn’t mean it.

The happiest time of your life had started there, with that laugh. Dark curls falling into dark eyes, a hand extended towards the newsies’ Lodging House and a declaration that it would be your home so long as you’d not get bored of it. You knew enough to tell him that you’d never tire of it, and Spot had said that he’d hold you to that promise. You have yet to break it.

It is something entirely different to find your best friend. It creeps up on you slowly, most of the time, a bond that weaves itself in the dead of night, not letting itself be known until you wake up at midnight and realize that you are not alone and never will be.

It was like that with Spot, despite your strong starting point. You blinked once and he was trusting you unconsciously to watch his back during a fight. His colors were your colors without question, and you could not shake free from him if you tried. You don’t know that you ever will, no matter how much it hurts right now.

The problem with such a quick friendship with Spot is that you never stopped trying to get closer to him. It wasn’t enough to merely own the title of being his best friend, you wanted to defend it, to get to a higher rank within his heart. Soon enough, that meant you started loving him, and that was your first and most treacherous mistake.

Spot Conlon is not capable of this sort of love. He had told you so himself, one dark night when the two of you had stolen drinks from a closing bar and taken them up to the roof of the lodging house. Both of you were past the point of no return when Spot had turned to you with a graver look than a dead man and told you that he would never, could never love. It was not in his nature, or so he claimed. He could never afford it to be in his character to love.

You had thought that it might have been an apology, if he had used his knack for always knowing what was on your mind long enough to realize what sorts of thoughts were forming there. Was he warning you off, when Spot said that he couldn’t afford a single weakness, not even if he wanted one? Or was he just taking care of loose ends?

You suppose you’ll never know. He’s proven himself wrong now. This is the sight that breaks you, after all, when you are dragged back to the present day and find that not a single circumstance has changed. You had been selling papes, and turned a corner to find Spot all but hanging off of a pretty girl from down the block.

The worst part is that it isn’t just a momentary lapse. Spot has been getting closer and closer to this girl all week, you’ve seen it happening. Today is the worst offense, though, and you watch as his hand rises to carefully brush a curl away from her face from where it’s fallen down from her updo. He leaves his fingers there, coiled against her collarbone, and the smile on his face is nothing like you’ve ever seen before.

Spot Conlon has never lied to you, so long as he could help it. Spot Conlon has just lied to you now, because you knew what he said when he told you he could never fall in love, and you’ve just seen that contradicted before your eyes. This is love in every form of the word. You can see the truth of it whipping around the two of them, drawing them to each other. It could never be anything else but love.

You turn hurriedly and head back the way you’ve come, but no matter how far or fast you walk, you can still see the sight of it burned into the back of your mind. Perhaps Spot should have tacked on an addendum to his declaration on that drunken night:  he could most certainly love, he just could never love you.

The agony of it dogs your steps, pulling you down the longer you live with the truth. You manage to sell the last of the day’s papers despite the fact that you feel as if you couldn’t force a smile if you tried. Maybe your misery makes the disasters of the headlines all the more credible, forcing coins into your palms despite your lack of enthusiasm, or maybe the city wants to be rid of you and would send any customer into your path so long as it would let you leave faster.

Regardless, you make your way back to the lodging house at last, the setting sun at your back. The lights are already on inside, and the shouts of the other boys hit you like a brick wall the second you slip inside the door. Despite the camaraderie of seeing your fellow friends, you can’t convince yourself to join in their jokes, so you head upstairs without another word.

There’s another reason to confine yourself to sleep earlier than normal, too. Usually, you would wait for Spot to return so the two of you could debrief on the day’s sales, but you don’t think you could face him without seeing that girl tucked around him. Spot comes by the bunks later that night, and you hear him pause by your bed, but you refuse to open your eyes and he ends up slipping away once more.

You had hoped that the day’s miseries would lessen with the dawn, but time heals few wounds, and least of all yours. A new morning only brings a new wave of resentment towards you, for falling in love with the one boy who would never have you, and bitterness towards Spot, for being so perfect in all ways bar one.

It takes everything in you to just wave a quick greeting to Spot across the crowded room when he locks eyes with you, and talking to him outright is out of the question. You hurry off to buy the morning’s papes before he can track you down, and spend the rest of the day trying to avoid all of his usual selling places.

It hurts to be without him. Spot’s absence cuts like a blade, but even that torture is nothing compared to thinking of how delighted he had been when curled around the girl from earlier. Besides, he couldn’t be missing you, he’s got her to keep him company. The only one currently suffering is you.

That’s what you intend to believe, at least, but you only manage to go about a week before Spot takes matters into his own hands. You’ve grown suitably capable at making sure your days rise and fall without Spot being a major character in them, but when the King of Brooklyn sets his mind to something, he always gets his way.

So, when you take up your usual selling spot at the corner of a major road and Spot finds you within about half a second, you can admit that there will be no losing him. That doesn’t stop you from trying to distract yourself with customers so Spot can’t find a moment to talk to you. All he does is wait for the temporary rush to fade, and then he’s upon you.

You keep your eyes carefully trained on the horizon, searching for buyers that aren’t there. Spot folds his arms across his chest, irritated that you’re not paying attention to him.

“Are you going to avoid me all day?” He asks, obviously bothered.

“Only as long as you keep pestering me about it,” you joke.

Spot doesn’t so much as crack a smile. “What’s up with you?”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you respond, but Spot’s clearly in no mood for games.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he counters, “You’ve been avoiding me all week. Look, just tell me what’s wrong, alright? We can fix this, easy.”

You make sure your face remains studiously neutral. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired.”

Spot scoffs. “That’s the worst excuse I’se ever heard. There’s clearly a problem, just spell it out already. I don’t like this distance between us.”

“Neither do I,” you whisper. Unfortunately, Spot hears.

He spreads his hands. “Then tell me what’s wrong, and we can solve this. We always solve things like this, that’s how we work.”

“Yeah?” You ask, “Well, usually there aren’t other girls involved in how ‘we work’ now, are there?”

Spot blinks in surprise. “What are you talking about?”

Your lips tighten. “You don’t have to lie to me, Spot. I saw you with that girl. I know what it means.”

He stares at you, baffled. “What’s wrong with me talking to a girl?”

This makes you lose the last of your composure. “What’s wrong with– Spot, the problem isn’t that you’re talking to a girl, it’s that you’re in love with her.”

There, the truth at last. You’re not sure that it’s made either of you any happier to hear it.

In fact, Spot looks even more upset than before. “Love her? Y/N, I don’t love her.”

You laugh bitterly. “Of course you don’t. That’s what you promised me, you know, that you would never fall in love. Do me a favor, Spot, if you’re going to lie to me, don’t do it over something like that.”

Spot’s voice is soft. “Why would that matter?”

You look away. “Because that girl isn’t the only one who’d like to have your heart, Spot.”

Silence descends upon the street. You’re almost certain that he’s going to walk away from you when his hand touches your cheek, gently turning your head to face him.

“I don’t love that girl,” he says calmly, “I was flirting with her. Didn’t mean a thing. All I wanted to do was make sure that she was going to keep on buying papers from me instead of resorting to some other seller.”

You arch a brow. “And you expect me to believe that the display I say was just the result of harmless flirting because—”

“Because of this,” Spot returns, and kisses you. 

It takes your breath away. At first, you do not know what to make of it– could it be a ploy, perhaps, some folly of your mind and eyes to deceive you into thinking that the boy you love actually loves you back– but no, it is true and it is happening and you could not be happier.

When he breaks away, you’re almost too overwhelmed to say a thing. “What,” you manage to gasp, “was that?”

He has the audacity to grin. “That was me explaining things. If you like, I can do it again.”

You try to glare at him. “You’re too proud of yourself, you know that?”

“How could I not be proud,” he asks, “when I’ve just realized that you love me too? I didn’t think there was a chance of it. In fact, I took steps to make sure there wasn’t. That night on the rooftop, I was trying to convince myself that I wouldn’t fall in love with anybody as much as I was trying to tell you. I couldn’t afford to lose your friendship.”

“You haven’t lost it,” you reply, “far from it. Although I’ll have you know that I heartily disapprove of you flirting with other girls to sell papes from now on.”

“Very well,” he says, “but you have to stop flirting with other boys to do the same.”

You pretend to consider this. “I don’t know that I could do that.”

“Then I shall have to give them a reason to keep their distance,” Spot claims, and kisses you again. This time, you know well enough to believe it, and allow the feeling to sweep you away.

newsies tag list: @lovesanimals0000, @misguidedswagger, @thatfangirl42, @amortensie

#spot conlon #spot conlon imagines #spot conlon x reader #spot conlon oneshot #newsies #newsies imagines #newsies x reader #newsies oneshot #newsies spot #newsies spot imagines #newsies spot x reader #newsies spot oneshot #newsies live #newsies live imagines #newsies live x reader #newsies live oneshot

[llleesmess]

reasons to recover!! and some helpful tips/qoutes/explanations on recovering ❤️‍🩹

1 find the beauty in food and enjoying food

2 higher confidence

3 realize that theres no "thin enough"

4 recognize that true beauty isn't achieved from being the skinniest but from feeling the happiest

5 become mentally stronger!!

6 trying to make food your friend, not your enemy

7 be content with your body image, accept it in its unique beautiful form. we cant all look the same and have the same body or life would be pretty boring

8 realize that most of what we try to tell ourselves when ed thoughts kick in are just glamorized lies

9 feel free spirited!! i can only imagine how much my ed has weighed down on me but recovering has made me realize that there is no standard for beautiful things <;3

10 (hearing this also helped me recover) think of yourself as a flower, you're surrounded by a ton of other pretty flowers but that NEVER made you any less prettier!!

11 "feeling guilty for eating is the same as feeling guilty for breathing" we've been taught to put away our basic needs :(

12 your self worth never depended on your weight, it only depended on your self acceptance. in my journey i got thinner and thinner but it never felt like enough, i never felt skinny enough or pretty enough so ive tortured myself over and over but that just proved to me that there never was "skinny enough" or "ill stop when im skinny enough" because having this mindset means you're never gonna feel "enough" no matter how much you avoid food.

13 dont you miss that freedom of eating whatever you want without worrying as a kid?

14 shift your focus on progress rather than perfection :)

15 perfection never existed!! we just deluded ourselves into thinking perfection could be attainable but why do you think you never felt "enough" no matter how thin you were? because perfection never existed in the first place. I believe everyones perfect just the way they are. There is no standard for "perfection"

16 (i thought this one was pretty cute) Think of your body as your best friend, its been through so much for you and i think its time to return that favor by helping it grow and rewarding it :)

good luck on your recovery journey!! its so worth it i promise💗💗 keep your mind open and always reassure yourself <3 (sometimes a little pep talk helps)

#recoverspo #ed #th1n$po #r3coverspo #sw33tspo #notproana #not pr0 anything #notpro4n4 #an0rex1a #an0r3xic #an0rexic #bul1m14 #bul1m1c #bul1mic #recovering #m3ansp0

[holocene-sims]

5, 13, 22 & 23 for the storytelling ask game, please!

hiii!! thank you so much for the ask ❤️

5. how do your choose your character's names?

by scouring behindthename.com or forebears.io for literal hours 👀 sourcing names first is always my first step, especially because i prefer to use culturally specific names for my sims, and those websites are awesome for looking up name origins and popularity by region. after that, i choose names based on their pronunciation and the vibe they give off. i don't care about the meaning.

also, r/namenerds on reddit is so much fun. i'll look on there, too, mostly if i'm looking to name a character's sibling because a lot of people post lists on there of names with a similar feeling

something else i do as well is i try to incorporate the personalities of whoever would have named the character canonically. like grant's name is joseph, the same as his grandfather's name, because his parents were (1) boring and (2) lazy about picking names

13. from basic planning to finished post, how long does that take you?

tbh it takes me a long ass time because i tend to do all of that at once. like my outline process is literally just a note on my phone listing, in bullet points, the scenes chronologically in one to three words. i wing everything at the last minute and you know, that's served me well so far, so i don't plan to change it

but anyway, my process is usually that i don't make posts unless i can complete a whole scene. i sit down, take all the pics for the whole entire scene, edit them, and then write the script that goes with them. then i'll put it all together on tumblr. a scene that's only one post long might take me a couple hours. anything longer and it'll take me at least a day, sometimes two or three.

the scene that took me the longest was the scene AFTER grant and his grandma go to the arcade and they have that LONGGGGGG chat in the living room. i kid you not, that scene and all its posts took me months to finish

22. choose a favourite character from your story so far

clearly the answer is grant!

but in the interest of being different, my other top favorite character is aoife. first of all, she's just an adorable old woman with a fascinating backstory and personality, but on another note, i love her because of her function in the story. you'll see more of it later as things progress but she's important beyond her very tight knit relationship with grant. she's also important because she serves as his mirror image. she's a whole lot more like him than anyone realizes

23. choose your least favourite character so far

again, the obvious answer is grant's mom mary but that's TOO boring, so let's spice it up again!

least favorite is probably alex (grant's cousin, the one getting married) just because he doesn't have a lot of personality in terms of the story. he's incredibly boring to write for. like it kills me to because i feel like i'm forcing myself to make HIM interesting. he's very boring. now, i will say, his appearances are fun in the end because they have (and will continue to) produce a lot of interesting content for and about grant

stay tuned for that

#asks #hlcn: story extras

[whumpfish]

I tell you what, it may surprise some of y'all to hear, but I grew up away from horror content. I had a vivid, visual imagination as a kid. I was at a sleepover when I was like 8 or some shit in the 90s and their mom had decided that Look Who's Talking was a great sleepover movie, and I had nightmares about childbirth for a week. At that point my mom decided no actually scary things for me. And one look at the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark illustrations told me she was probably right.

And boy did I miss out on a lot. All the classics of the 80s and 90s, Goosebumps, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, Darren Shan's Demonata, Wes Craven's entire career... but I wasn't ready. So I stayed out of that space.

So I grew up a bit, and got really into Hitchcock - Strangers On A Train, North By Northwest - and having a feel for what I could handle at that point, kept going. We saved Psycho and The Birds for last. Again, good insight on my mom's part, I was not ready for those at the North By Northwest phase. Around this time, I'm also getting into The X-Files, which is kind of a baby's first horror thing. The episode Stephen King guest wrote still fucked me up the first time, though, so I hung back from what I judged to be the hard stuff at that point. I wasn't ready yet. So I stayed out of that space.

I suffered a minor setback when I had the bright idea to watch the network remake of The Shining with a fever of 105. I have never sleepwalked before or since, but I legit got up mid nightmare, still fully asleep, and ran away from the bathtub zombie (hilariously where I hid in my sleepwalking genius was... my bathroom). But by and by, I recovered from Bathtub Zombie Delirium, and started getting into more serious thrillers. And then I steeled myself and watched Se7en, and a new era began. I finally had confidence in my capacity to handle horror. I finally had an appetite for it.

I'm in college at this point, streaming is in its infancy, and FearNet is still a thing. I make a point to go through their whole monthly selection just to see if I can. I'm introduced to Dario Argento and fall in love, suffer through a minor Fulci and learn my lesson, discover indie works of genius like Hard Candy, hear soprano Sarah Brightman as never before in Repo!: The Genetic Opera, finally see Saw. And I say to myself, you know what, I love this shit, I want to keep going. I think I'm ready.

I go international. Junji Ito enters my life and my heart. I watch Ju-On and realize that weird clicky noise I would make when I was a kid just for the hell of it if I was alone and bored is actually kind of terrifying under the right circumstances. I see Eyes Without A Face. I dive into the world of giallo and B-grade Italian horror. Force myself to watch The Beyond and am the donest of dones with Lucio Fulci--then watch Don't Torture A Duckling and spend the rest of the week mad because it's so good and he just. Idk forgot how to movie when he started doing horror?

Giallo leads me down a rabbit hole to extreme cinema, of which I am now an avid devotee. Martyrs was a fucking religious experience. I still marvel at how Female Prisoner 701: Scorpion managed to package most of The Handmaid's Tale as a quartet of exploitation movies, and do a better and more visceral job (imho) than the latter. I could write essays on how Matsushiro transcends the woman's revenge trope. I could write a fucking thesis. Pieces of Found are still seared into my brain in a traumatic way--and pieces of Found are seared into my brain in a positive, visual and conceptual way. I'm still not entirely sure I was ready for Found, but I done did it anyway, and I think I'm the better for it. But had I discovered I wasn't ready, I would not have made it anybody else's problem.

There are things I know I'll never be ready for, like Men Behind the Sun. I couldn't take Schindler's List; no thank you, Unit 731. There are things I could probably take but have no interest in, Joe D'Amato on the lame end and Ruggero Deodato on the competent but way too questionable end. And you know what? I do and will continue to stay out of those spaces.

Everyone moves at their own pace, and that's fine. That's what makes us unique individuals. I was part of the R.L. Stine generation. Our parents were professional pearl-clutchers, from scary books and movies to the *gasp* violence of Mortal Kombat. I was the one kid who wasn't out there trying to see what my gross-out threshold was and then yeet myself over that line. And that's okay.

It was still there when I caught up. Even if I only decided today that I was ready, it would be there just as it was the day it entered the world.

If you’re not ready for something, that's fine. It's fine if you come to it late, or never get there at all... as long as you stay out of those spaces until you are ready, and quietly turn around if you make a miscalculation and see something you're not actually prepared for. You have to take responsibility for your own content consumption. People come together to share something they like because it touches a piece of them, because they find understanding in it just the way it is. It's not right or fair to bulldoze other people's spaces in the name of expanding your own.

It may sound harsh, but it's a fact. If you're out here writing a ton of aftermath sadporn but you can't write the Before half and need basic elements of what is supposed to have caused your perpetually pathetic "whumpee" to become a sad pile of jello tw tagged, especially something as foundational as #blood, you're not ready for whump. Stay in angst spaces a little longer. It's not a race. It's not a competition. And you're not actually entitled to every space in the known universe.

#your safe-spacery is bad and you should feel bad #you know what my safe space was? #whump #whump was my safe space #i am a responsible consumer of media and so can you