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#also realizing that you started too late in looking for people like u irl is very .. interesting
moonjxsung · 3 months
Note
opening your account on tumblr practically every single day like a newspaper makes me realize how far youve gotten 🤧🤧
i was a fan even before i started the whole anon thing and seeing how your anons list grow every day js makes me feel so 🥺🥺🥺
when i first requested to be clover anon and u added me to the list i was all like "oh mygoshsdj this is so cute my little emoji is on there now 😭😭" but i also used to think that i was one of the late joiners cs i was on the bottom of the anon list so i regretted not joining ur (cult) anon group sooner 😔☝
but now the anons have flooded the list and u have over 100+ requests and idk it just makes me so happy that youre getting the recognition you deserve ajskah 💖💖
promise not to tire yourself out though cs even if all of us love your writing you also need to take care and have time for yourself always 🌻
i have a feeling youll be rising even higher and shining even brighter one day our little star ☆☆
luv u sm our little moonlit angel
~《☘》
This is how I looked reading this message irl
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I LOVE YOU ???? ☹️🫶🫶🫶🫶 I still can’t believe I am living in a world where anyone wants to read my silly little stories or considers themselves a fan of my writing like I genuinely started this with zero intention to get interaction anywhere I just wanted an archive for my stuff I guess. And I’m so lucky to have crossed paths on this corner of the internet with you guys ☹️☹️ I’m in constant disbelief EVERY TIME I get even one message or a comment or anything like it’s baffling to me that people want to dedicate their time to tell ME of all people about their lives or their preferences and establish a relationship with me and I will never be able to put into words how much I cherish it. You guys are the best thing about my days and I feel like I have such a safe and beautiful little community here with you all and I HOPE you guys feel the same way always 🫶☹️ when I started writing again it was because I was so worn out at my job and I just had no hobbies to come home to and no distractions or anything and I wanted to do something completely out of the realm of my corporate job. Never would I have imagined I’d have an anon list or a taglist or any notes on any of my works but you guys are truly amazing and I could never thank you enough. If I could personally write each and every one of you a 100k fic and a thank you note, I WOULD.
I’m doing my best to not tire myself out, I’m taking breaks when I need to and I’m chatting with you guys in between works and it’s been very very healing in the interim 😌💓💓💓💓
I know I say it a lot but- I love you. A lot! Very seriously and very much. Take care of yourself too because I need all my anons to be as happy as they deserve always 🫶🫶🫶🫶👼❤️💕 OKAY? Okay. Love you. Forever. And then some.
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pixiecaps · 2 years
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I remember like, the first time I saw you. I hadn’t recognized your pfp, and after seeing it a few times on my dash I decided to click. After scrolling a bit, I came to the realization I had followed you on accident (something that happens plenty to me). I usually would’ve unfollowed, but you seemed just interesting enough for me not too. A few months later, I’m surprised when you follow me back, especially since I don’t make original posts, and am not ranboo-centric.
Nowadays, you’ve managed to become one of my favorite mutuals. I always get giddy when I see you in my notifications, and 90% of the time I make note to see what post you liked and/or reblogged. It’s the “I’m getting a good grade in reblogging, something that is both possible to achieve and normal to want.”
We aren’t close mutuals, though I definitely wouldn’t mind it. I’d love to send more asks, however I’m horrific at carrying conversations and also have some social anxiety that makes me nervous. I also don’t want to intrude, as previously mentioned we aren’t close mutuals, and I don’t want to be pushy or annoying, haha. And I would start by responding to some of the posts you make that expect responses, but I don’t refresh my dashboard enough to see them in time. And I don’t know if it’d be appropriate to ask for a discord, which I’m better at checking, because I know it’s usually used for friends.
All in all though, you are funny and witty, and I often to stop and read your posts when otherwise I’d scroll. I like your opinions when you do decide to get serious, and despite some non-common interests, you present them in such a way I can easily engage in anyways. I wish you lots of love and luck, take care of yourself, and keep your chin up, king!
(P.S. sorry for the rlly long message whoops, I hope I’m not too late to send this.)
helllooo anon i think this was for the ask game:0 im sorry i didnt see this hours ago im pretty sure you sent this around the time i went to sleep but yes hii hello!!
“interesting enough” LETS FUCKING GOOO. okay! i usually follow back people i’ve seen around a lot on dash or urls i recognize in my notifs!! i must have recognized you:)
thats so sweet thank you i appreciate it😭 also wanna thank you for sticking around the idea that you’ve grown to rlly be fond of me after accidentally following me is heartwarming
ah dude don’t worry about. look i started this blog because i had horrific social anxiety and my irls were encouraging me to make new friends!! so even though i was shaking and wanted to throw up (that bad ik) i started posting and slowly but surely it wasn’t as scary anymore. it takes time so you can take your time dont feel pressured to interact if you dont want to. that being said i don’t mind if people who arent “close mutuals” send an ask or dms me. you become a close mutual by doing these things ya know😭 oh!!!! you can ask for discord too!! all mutuals are allowed to :) i however suck at holding conversations too so be aware of that lmao
AW TY!! ehehe you like my takes🤭 genuinely though i try to stay away from discourse or serious topics cus it may come off intimidating and thats the last thing i want to come off as but im glad whenever i do make a few posts like that you found it easy to engage:) i will! i am trying my best to take care of myself and for u i shall hmmm i was gonna say go outside but i already have plans to do that so it’d be disingenuous. i’ll just drink a lot of water today 👍 omg have u ever noticed theres no water bottle emoji on ios. i wait every update to see if they added one but nope. i would use that emoji so much…
anon congrats on getting the award of longest ask ever sent BAHSJD i woke up and saw this and my eyes popped in a good way
( also adding this after i posted this. i know anons dont usually like their own asks to stay hidden so i need you to know you seem lovely:D )
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favoniuscodex · 3 years
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modern!au headcanons [ diluc, kaeya ]
prompt: domestic modern!au headcanons for diluc and kaeya, as requested by anon pairing: diluc x gn!reader, kaeya x gn!reader warnings: none, sfw word count: ~1.3k words
a/n: hhhh love this concept,,, headcanons are super easy for me to grind out too <333 thank u for the request, nonnie! these are just a random assortment, i hope that’s okay! why was i struggling not to make these nsfw
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diluc
probably pretty busy and lives in the city. you’re more than welcome to stay at his place if you want, but he realizes that his luxurious apartment can get pretty lonely if he’s not there
is very apologetic on the nights he comes home late (which is most of them). but, you get to lay in bed and watch him take off his shirt and tie as he changes into his pajamas, so you’re never frustrated for too long.
just wants to cuddle and watch movies whenever he has downtime with you after work. he works a lot :( just take it easy with him
probably has a chef that will cook for the two of you, but also doesn’t really like people crawling around his apartment when he’s there (aside from you, of course)
he’s rich. that’s what i’m trying to say.
definitely dresses in suits every day for work, but has a pretty decent fashion sense outside of work. he works the expensive-looking, all black outfits. likes to match with you, but won’t outright say so unless if you ask.
likely adores the concept of those heartbeat bracelets? it just seems something he would be super into.
also has flowers delivered to your workplace if you’re comfortable with him doing such a thing.
he tries to make time once a week to have lunch with you, but you’ll likely have to come to his office if you want to do so. he always pays for the meal in return!
he likely worked seven days a week until the two of you got super serious. if you have a specific day of the week off, guess what? so does he now.
very much a cuddlebug. his favorite way to spend a lazy saturday morning, when he’s able to, is to stay in bed with you until 1pm.
he’s pretty introverted, but you’re one of the few people that doesn’t tire him out, so diluc’s absolutely enamored with you.
he’s not overprotective per se, but he knows how nasty people can be and he worries. if you’re working late, even if he’s not home, he appreciates a text whenever you get home for peace of mind. he’ll always text you when he’s working late, too!
speaking of texting, he’s probably very formal in texts. you could be like “ilysm, you’re so cute aaaaaaaa” and he would be like “Thank you. I love you too. I will be home later.”
uses emojis on rare occasions. it’s always just a smiley face or something simple. doesn’t really understand memes if you send them to him, but he’ll laugh anyways if it makes you happy. doesn’t really understand text slang or acronyms either.
diluc secretly likes if you send cute animal pictures or videos to him while he’s at work. if the two of you have a pet together, sending pictures of that pet would make him absolutely melt.
he also enjoys receiving selfies of you! he’ll often time text compliments that are often too brazen to say irl. things like Your eyes catch the sunlight and glow like gemstones. in that picture or You look adorable. I hope you are having fun! if you text him a picture of you out at lunch with friends.
he might suck at texting, but messages from you give him a brief reprieve from work ;;;
likes to cook with you. if you don’t know how, he’ll make time to take cooking classes with you. he finds it romantic.
also likes to drive when the two of you are in the car together. sure, it’s partially because he’s the owner of a nice car, but he primarily does it for one reason: to see your flustered face when he puts his arm behind your headrest when he turns to check that it’s okay to back the car up. who cares if his car has a backup camera? he’s going to do it anyways.
kaeya
kaeya is less busy than diluc when it comes to work schedule. he more or less has the 40-50 hour work week and can relax on the weekends. much more of a stable schedule than his brother!
which means, of course, more kaeya time.
if you’re working late, he WILL make you dinner. he’s big on doing little things for his s/o and he LOVES the way your eyes light up when you see cooking, especially his cooking, waiting for you when you get home.
he prefers to go on dates outside of the house! the two of you take turns planning dates and he likes to get creative with his. there’s an old retro arcade in the city? he’s taking you there. a cute little speakeasy nestled into a newer part of town? kaeya will surprise you with it.
kaeya 100% gives me art museum vibes. surprisingly, he gets flustered when you say that he’s prettier than the paintings that line the walls.
SUPER big on fashion. have you seen how he makes his knight uniform look good? yeah. 100% is a fashionista and rocks it. will also help you with your wardrobe if you’re not confident in it!
seems like a guy who would actually like to go shopping. if you don’t go shopping with him, expect a bunch of selfies of him in the dressing room mirror asking if outfits look good.
wayyyy less of a formal texter than diluc but definitely is probably bad at responding to texts. he’ll see your texts, register them in his head, and be like “i will respond to that in a second!” then immediately gets distracted and forgets
so yeah, he leaves you on read a lot :( not intentionally !!! he’s apologetic when he does for too long.
prefers if you drive because he’s too busy trying to show off that he knows all of the lyrics to your joint playlist on spotify. yes, he’s even memorized the songs you added, if only to flex.
when the two of you go out drinking, a lot of times it’s not together. you go with your friends and he goes with his, but the two of you text each other throughout the night to ensure the other’s safety. it’s one of the few times he ensures that he doesn’t leave you on read.
when the two of you first move in with each other, he gets excited to buy new furniture with you and eagerly looks forward to all of the simple little tasks the two of you will have to complete in order to move in with each other.
plasters you all over his social media. probably loses a lot of followers because of it (after all, he’s a hot guy who is no longer single) but still posts you incessantly, as long as you’re comfortable with it. he doesn’t really care about anyone else.
will start talking about how awesome you are to girls/guys who try to slide into his dms. it scares them off.
he adores your cooking, even if you’re godawful at it. to him, anything you cook is a five star meal! he’s very supportive of everything you do, even if you’re objectively bad at it
surprisingly likes to play board games? i feel like he would be a chess guy, but monopoly and the likes are fun to him. he’s not the best at video games, but he’ll be effortlessly good at mariokart. it’s almost infuriating the way he stays completely calm throughout every game, win or lose.
very much an impromptu kind of guy when it comes to romance while diluc is more of a planner. kaeya figures the best moments to sweep you off your feet are when you aren’t expecting it!
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lunaekalenda · 3 years
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hi! i have a request about jean and reader that are internet friends who have never seen each other in a real life. they just chat somewhere using nicknames. one day they accidentally meet irl and jean invites reader on a date. later they text each other about this date and both feel jealous. they are just sooo confused, cause they like someone irl, then why they don't want their internet friend to find a s/o? and happy ending, please? i hope that you take good care of yourself, love u <3
omg sure! i just got heavily inspired about this, i hope you like it!! take care of yourself too, anon ! <3
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jean x reader
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jkst is online
jkst is typing...
jkst: hi
Your phone rings at this last notification. You take your phone. The world-wide used avatar chat app sound comes with another message.
jkst: that sounded awkward lol
You unlock your phone and enter the chat, reading the two new messages. You type fast, a smile on your lips.
outofcoolnames: hey, Kir.
He told you his name was Kir. The first day you met, you received a little document with all the chat rules, in where you can't share your name, your city or pictures of you. It has to be safe for everyone. On the other side of the chat, Jean chuckles. He always does when he reads your username.
outofcoolnames: yeah like it sounded as if we were having a normal conversation.
outofcoolnames: what are you doing awake so early? it isn't noon yet lol go back to sleep.
Kir never, never messaged you before noon, and he always tells you he has been sleeping, so finding his message at 10 on the morning while you're working surprised you a lot. Fortunately, there isn't a lot of people on the book shop, so you can answer him calmly.
jkst: oh, you think you're funny? us adults have to wake up early for adult things. you'll never understand, child.
You don't know exactly his age, even when it is legal to share it on the chat, but you know he's on his early twenties. You raise a brow quietly. You tip fast while a couple enters the bookshop, with a little girl on their hands.
outofcoolnames: sure, geezer. now, if you let me, i have to work because i'm an adult.
You put your phone on your pocket, getting closer to the family. "How can I help you?"
The little girl tells you that she wants a "huge, no, enormous book about fairies with some dragons and a huge festival?"
You need almost an hour to let the girl decide between all the books you showed her. She finally decided for a illustrated book full of classic tales. You give it to her mother and, thanking the family, you open the door for them. When you close, looking at all the books you have to put back in the shelves, you hear an unpleasant sound followed by a deep moan. When you look at the crystal door, you can see a tall boy rubbing his forehead, his other hand on the door. You realize you hit him.
“Oh no, sorry, sorry.” you say, opening the door. He takes his honey eyes to you, his forehead a little red and his big hand rubbing the place where he got hurt. “Come in, please.” you say. You think you have a pomade inside.
“Yes, that was what I was trying to do, actually.” he jokes. You blush, you hit him and he’s literally joking about it. 
“Please sit here.” You show him a little sofa you have for kids to read. He’s not sure his knees will enter on the little couch, so he says he doesn’t need to sit. You run to the back of the store, taking a pomade from the bathroom. “Here, put this. It should avoid a bump.” He thanks it and puts a little on his forehead. You look at him while he does it. 
He has to take his light brown fringe out of his face to rub the pomade on his forehead. His hands are big, with bony and really long fingers that end on good-cared nails. His eyes are honey like color, and he has a mullet on the back of his head. He ends applying the pomade and takes his hand back down. He offers you the other.
“Jean Kirstein. Just in case you want to pay me a coffee.” You blush. After all, you hit him. Maybe you should invite him to drink something. Your half morning break starts now, so you take his hand.
“Y/N. And, casually, I have a break now. Where do you want to take a cup?”
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Jean opened the door this time and that made you laugh. He closed behind him and searches a free table with his tall body. He walks towards one.
“Sorry, I opened it, I still have war flashbacks.” You laugh and you both ask for your drinks. “So, Y/N, you should look more at doors.” you laugh.
“I know, I know. My bad, sorry.” you say. He shows a big smile.
He’s attractive, you can’t deny it. From his marked jaw to his smooth clavicle, seen through the open buttons of his shirt. Also, he has a really cute smile. He looks around, to all the people in the café. He smiles at you.
“So, you work on a book shop?”
Jean and you keep talking while you drink your coffees. He tells you he has been working on some art pieces lately. As you could suppose, he’s a painter. 
“I wish I could live just by painting. I work on an office all afternoons.” He says. The smile on his face fades a bit when he talks about the office. You listen to him quietly, his face quietly changing when you ask him more about his paintings. The break passes fast and he decideds to give you his number.
"You know. That way you don't need to hit me on the face with a door." you laugh and blush again. Is he going to forget it?
"Please, don't tell anyone..." you ask. He nods and leaves, a huge smile on his face. You feel butterflies.
Does liking someone feel like this?
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jkst: sorry, i disappeared today. i had a date.
You let the towel fall from your head while you read the message, the other towel around your body.
outofcoolnames: oh wow, a date.
You felt uncomfortable. Kir had a date. But well, you don’t know him. He has to search someone to date, after all.
jkst: jealous? :P
outofcoolnames: nah. i also got one.
Now is Jean the one looking at his phone with frown brows. He has no shirt on and he’s lying on his bed. He sits to read that message twice. You look at the paper with Jean's telephone number. Should you call him today? maybe tomorrow? or maybe send a message to let him know your number.
outofcoolnames: i think that silence means you’re jealous :D
Jean doesn’t know why, but he is. Damn, of course he is. He shouldn’t because you’re just internet friends, you didn’t saw each other. He doesn’t know how you look, what personality you have or if you’re even on the same country as him! 
jkst is typing...
jkst is online
jkst is typing...
jkst is online
jkst - last connection, now
You look at it. Has he just left? The hell? What is wrong with this guy? You let out a sigh and change to the other app. You introduce Jean's number and search him on the list, your lip between your teeth. You find him. His profile picture is a cute selfie of himself and a little cat. You message him.
y/n: hey, i'm y/n. this is my number if you want to adress it.
His answer comes in seconds.
Jean: oh, the door friend. cool, adding you.
That way of jocking, that way of tyiping. Why does it remember you to Kir? You shake your head. It doesn't. It's just that Kir left unexpectedly.
y/n: yeah i'm sorry, i hit you with the door. should we see each other another time?
Jean: sure. why not tomorrow? when's your break?
Wow, tomorrow. The guy is fast as hell. You check the other app, but Kir isn't online. You send him a quick message.
outofcoolnames: hi?
Again, no response, no connection. You go back to the other chat quickly. You answer that your break is tomorrow at 11:30, as it was today.
Jean: i'll make the effort to wake up that early. see you tomorrow.
y/n: bye :D
You go to sleep, but you check the other app a couple times.
On the next street, lying on his bed, Jean checks it too.
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"Good morning, y/n" he says when you enter the café. You search Jean. He's playing with his phone, moving it between his hands. You take a seat in front of him. You put yours on the table, side up. He does the same and you order some coffee. As the other day, you talk casually about a lot of things.
"Jean!" you hear a boy calling him. Jean looks around and finds the owner of the voice. He's a tall man, with a bun. Holding his hand, a black-haired girl smiles at Jean.
"Wow, Eren and Mikasa, the happy married couple!" Jean looks at you. "Could you excuse me for a moment? I promise I'll be back as fast as I can." He winks at you and gets up. You take your phone from near his. You enter the app. Kir has entered before, but he didn't answer you. You sigh and type.
outofcoolnames: look, kir, i... i was joking. i really like this guy and i think he also likes me but... when i'm here... i think about you. it is dumb because i don't know you. but i do. please, come back.
When you hit the send button, Jean's phone illuminates and sounds. The same sound your app has.
Wait a damn minute. Why did his app sound when you sent the message?
It has to be a coincidence. You debate between trying again and leaving it, but one more message isn't going to be a catastrophe. You tip again.
outofcoolnames: kir?
Again, his phone illuminates and sounds. Does that mean he is Kir?
You look behind you. Jean keeps talking with the couple. He said his last name before, it was something with a K, right? K, K, K....
Kirstein. Kirstein, right? He's not called Kir. It is a part of his surname. You enter fast his user. jkst. Jean Kirstein. Jean Fucking Kirstein. You look at him again. That's why his way of texting reminds you of him. That's why you think of Kir when Jean talks. Because it's the same person.
You like Kir. You like Jean. You like the two versions of the same person. Jean comes back quickly and he sits. He takes his phone. "Oh, did it sound?" he asks. But you can only look at him. You look at his hazel eyes. The eyes you wanted to see for so long, the lips you wanted to meet. They are all there. Kir is there.
"Do you use... ChatApp?" you ask, with quite voice. Jean smiles, blushed.
"I... I do.. I've met a person there. We chat often. Their username is really cool."
"The username is literally outofcoolnames." you reply.
"Yeah, but it gives like... What?" he looks at his phone. "Did you read my messages?"
You take your phone from under the table, the chat with jkst opened.
"No. I wrote them."
Jean looks at your phone. That's his ChatApp account. That's your ChatApp account. That is your chat. His head was a mess. He liked two people. But you're both of them? Is this fortune?
"You... You don't know how much I wanted to meet you." he sighs. He admires every single detail of your face. They all are like in your descriptions. He has been so blind.
"I also wanted to meet you. But Jean appeared before Kir. I liked Kir, but I assumed he had his partner, and you looked really interested..." you whisper.
"Do you believe in destiny?" he asks. He takes his phone to the table again. You shake your head. "Then, how do you explain that I fell in love with the same person twice?" he says. "Not once. Twice. With your personality through a screen, and with you all in your book store. This are signals. We belong together." you look at him. That's Jean, but he's also Kir. Your Kir.
The boy that made you feel so much through a simple screen. The one that is smiling at you now. Looking at you with sweet and hazel eyes. He uninstalls the app in front of your asking eyes.
"We don't need this anymore. Now we are face to face. And I hope it is for a long time."
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absolutebl · 3 years
Text
This Week In BL
Feb 2021 Part 1
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. 
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Ongoing Series Thai 
Manner of Death Ep 11 - a nice beefcake twist, then another twist, plus proud gay dads. We are mighty pleased. 
Cupid Coach Ep 4 - Unbearably boring. I’m out. We are not amused. 
My Bromance Ep 9 - FINALE I watched it unsubbed (I’ve NOT been following since ep 3) and it looks like it has a nice cute happy ending. I’m now interested in binging it once good subs become available. 
1000 Stars Ep 2 - was a lot better than Ep 1, the mains have okay chemistry, the kids are serviceable (child actors, shudder), but I’m really loving all the side characters. We are cautiously optimistic. 
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Ongoing Series Not Thai 
You Are Ma Boy Ep 5 (Vietnam) - pacing still good, cuties are still giving it their all, solid little series with bumpy side couples, confession call & response continues apace.
To My Star Ep 7-9 FINALE (Korea) - quirky as all goddamn getup, but so fucking cinnamon roll tasty. Charming end. Recommended so long as you realize we are in Mr Heart style K-BL. (Also @coldties posted a killer MV for this one.) This one will get a movie rerelease like Wish You, hopefully also on Netflix. 
We Best Love: No. 1 For You Ep 6 FINALE (Taiwan) - we got to see boyfriends being domestic af adorable with an ending that was a touch bittersweet but very college appropriate. With season 2 coming March 5 I am disposed to be VERY PLEASED. 
What will we do with ourselves and nothing new out of Korea or Taiwan for two WHOLE weeks? 
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Stand Alone 
I rewatched Wish You (2020 Korean series WISH YOU: Your Melody From My Heart now retitled - thank fuck - and available as a movie on Netflix). I have to say Yoon Sang Yi delivers some excellent pining. I’m not a huge insta-love person and there’s some character dev flaws, but it holds up really well and delivers more as a movie then it did as a series.
One of my favorite catches on the rewatch was the way Yoon Sang Yi’s jacket sleeves are always too long. It’s such a perfect little character trait. He is so shy and careful that he shrugs smaller into his coat, and also he hides his hands - when, as a pianist, his hands represent his self actualization and art. He only exposes them when making music... or holding Kang In Soo‘s hand. 
Incidentally, I was moved to look these two up... both out of K-pop. (This is my shocked face.) 
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Breaking News 
Lovey Writer dropped its official trailer at last, looking good and trope-filed. It’s set to start Feb 24th. 
Top Secret Together dropped its first promo material (Thai, no eng subs). I’m excited about this one, it’s being lead out by an IRL couple. 
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My Engineer 2 
The ME boys dropped an adorable gossip heavy promo vid. ME 2 is finishing up the script and will probably begin filming in April. It’s supposed to still release in 2021 (which makes me worry about post and explains a lot about some of Thai BL’s audio quality issues). With April filming, my guess is for an October (but more likely November) release. 
Close Friend 
Lay talked about his Close Friend project, which is a MV series from BOX Music featuring musically-inclined actors with established BL pairings so:
KimCop (MarkKit from Gen Y)
JimmyTommy (SaifahZon from Why R U)
JaFirst (LeoFiat from TharnType 2)
YoonLay (NottPun from YYY)
Y-Destiny 
Perth talked about Y-Destiny (previous title Destiny) which presumably is already filmed because he said it will be on air at the beginning of this year. As this is a Cheewin project, expect it to be something odd, campy, and frenetic in the YYY style. My guess is they’ll wait until You Only Eat Alone has completed its run before airing Y-Destiny, because who can take more than one Cheewin at a time? No one. Not even Thailand. 
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KinnPorsche 
Perth also talked about KinnPorsche. He said it would be on air... but that he wasn’t allowed to say the date, so we can hope this means they finally got distribution. (The excitement over the trailer probably helped - it has over a million views.) He also said they would start filming soon (so Feb/March) which means, if everything goes smoothly, a late summer release at the earliest. However, with an independent studio, high production values, big cast, and fight sequences I would expect KP to have more post than most BLs, so my guess is it will air towards the end of the year. (And I would be scared for quality if they tried for any earlier.) 
KinnPorsche cast also continues to work the BL talk show circuit, they made an appearance on Sosat Seoul Say. Mile & Apo are adorable + good chemistry, in fact the whole cast is adorable with good chemistry, so I’m excited for this series. 
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Gossip 
Cutest beans, Sam & Yu of We Best Love, have been dropping the most charming little lives ever. I’m so pleased we are getting a second season out of them. I can’t remember the title because, ya know, Taiwanese titles are beyond bonkers. But season 2 is listed now. 
Hong Kong is reported to be filming its first BL Series (15 eps to air on VIUTV). It will be an adaptation of 2018 Japanese BL drama Ossan’s Love (maybe same title?). Like Cherry Magic this is an office romcom: 30s single man who isn't popular with women lives with his parents. When they kick him out, he moves in with a coworker. Turns out this guy has a crush on him, as does another dude from his office. Foundational tropes: Office romance meets forced proximity meets love triangle. I expect the style out of Hong Kong to be somewhat similar to Taiwan, however they are politically less independent of China Main (although culturally VERY different) so this series could be DOA (for gay) or get killed early in its run (see Addicted web series - or don’t see it, if you’re in China). Also, like the Japanese original (and unlike most Taiwanese stuff), expect VERY low heat. That said, 15 eps is nothing to sneeze at, even if they are only 15-20 min each. So I guess I am... intrigued? 
Next Week Looks Like This: 
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February Update: Others that are airing but I’m not following: 
Fools (Vietnamese) - I don’t think it’s going to end happily (it’s from the Stage of Love peeps), so I’m waiting to binge if it does 
Brothers (Thai) - deals with taboo relationships from the Thank God it’s Friday people (this will not end well) 
Happenstance (Pinoy) - I don’t follow Pinoy BL closely
One Day Pag-ibig (Pinoy) - ibid 
Love or Lie (Pinoy) - ibid 
The Alter (Pinoy) - ibid 
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Upcoming 2021 BL master post here. 
Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something. 
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dwter · 3 years
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yeah it's kinda crazy how much dteam blowing up really was the perfect storm...the worst parts of kpop stan culture, new twitch meta, a months long quarantine, and the resurgence of minecraft created the monster we know to today. I've never seen a youtuber create a fandom of this magnitude on others platforms EVER, let alone standoms...it's just crazy what Dream did. I love him and dteam to death, I just wish the people that came from the worst parts of kpop twitter didn't have to migrate to dttwt/minecraft content or mcyts at all because I 100% believe their influence is the reason for 80% of the problems mcyttwt and mcyters have had to-date.
I truly just wish that the idol culture of kpoptwt didn't transfer over...it's too late now tho FeelsBadMan. I feel like a lot of the stans from that side were NOT cut out to watch/stan streamers. Idols are so removed from their stans online that it's never a problem what they do on twitter. They can be as rampant and toxic as they want because it'll never reflect on the idols because they don't have any type of close relationship (unlike mcyt who all have online jobs where the purpose is networking and constantly interacting with other streamers, mcyttwt caused other streamers to be wary of dsmp communities because of the bad reps/reflection caused by stans). Those kpop stans who had that same detached mindset came to the mcyt side and forgot how much more interactive streamers are with their communities, they're not like idols at all. I feel like a lot of the previous kpop stans project not only the unrealistic standard regarding looks, but also when it comes to things like social issues. Idols never let down their stans because they don't speak on politics or socioeconomic issues or what's happening in Afghanistan or any of that...it's simple PR. The kpop stans have never experienced a fandom where the people they stans are pretty responsive and interactive, so I think those same stans realized how easily accessible CC's are and they start to think they can project their same societal opinions onto them because they're "close".
anon …. anon …. You Are Spitting …. i was literally just saying how it was a mix of covid, pdp reviving minecraft as well as tiktok and sadist that lead to the way things are now. ive also never seen growth the way ive seen growth of the dsmp. the cling that they have with their fans is absolutely insane like genuinely bonkers. i had never seen this kind of behaviour to this degree outside of kpop before, let alone with technically non-celebrities. and ur right! it was absolutely the idol-worshiping-woke-culture-no-friends-irl-edgy-kpop-stans that migrated to minecraft content and ur also right that their influence is a large part of why this place is such a toxic wasteland. i mean i used to call stan twt toxic back when i was on it in 2018 but people literally PRAISE it in comparison to how things have become now. ive talked about it before bjt bc of everything that happened in the world, specifically covid and activism/massive world shifting events, twitter specifically took a massive turn bc of woke and cancel culture due to the immense emotional highs of that time and a lot of guilt that bled into stan culture and vulnerable young kids who wouldnt be going to school anytime soon. this cultivated whatever breed of 14-16 year olds are on that side of twitter bc theyre a mix of idol/kpop culture but also reactionary teenage culture and were, like u said, not equipped to handle that confrontation of real life (through twitch streamers) like that. i also literally have nothing to add to that second paragraph u worded it perfectly. they want their ccs to be crafted perfectly and refuse to realize that some people just have flaws and bc of, like u said, idols are very different than ccs in how ccs are much more like real people who are not just opinionless or perfect celebs who can be projected onto or fed a script, they have a hard time coping with the fact that not everyone is perfect and keep trying to MAKE them perfect vessels of their specifc opinions on often nuanced topics that white cishet men should not be talking about in the first place, nor should it be expected of them to know what are in a lot of cases very niche, community-centred issues. its just ….. theyre so disconnected from real life. and that last line of how bc ccs are a lot more “touchable” than idols they project their opinions/expect their opinions bc of cancel culture that makes them do it to each other and also their ccs bc they are obsessed with them being morally perfect and feel like they actually have power to change people they admire and worship, which is a crazy rush to have.
sorry if this doesnt make sense this is 6am and u are worded so well im going to think about this post forever and revisit it a bunch. i might reply again in the future as well u wrote out so many points ive always wanted to touch on U Are Amazing thank u anon for this seriously
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atiny-piratequeen · 3 years
Note
spreading glove around... tell your moots how much you love them and why
Glove world-
Anyway lets go.
@kimnamshiks Tay you're like,,,one of my first ask regulars and you literally never fail to make me smile. You are one of my wifeys for lifey and I really dont know where I'd be without the laughs, joy, genuine happiness you bring. Not to mention 🥺🥺 i look forward to your reviews and analyses on my work and you never fail to make me feel even more excited to write
@queen-of-himbos , @jacksons-goddess-gaia my babus! My wifeys! Loml! You both have gotten me through some of THE toughest shit, especially irl shit. Yall, Tay, Chye, Dior have all helped me more in the past year plus than some of my irls in the years ive known them. I trust yall with my life and it's always nice to see your lovely faces and hear your voices.
@gettin-a-lil-hanse my baby bear. My sweetie pie. You're another one who I've known since essentially the birth of my blog. You are one of my artistic inspirations (you, dior, atlas, amelia, tay, and kira) and I've enjoyed learning and growing together. Plus, I've learned a lot more about you know what (idk if you're comfortable with me saying) and im glad you helped me realize im p darn good at it.
@atiny-dazzlinglight fellow queen of smut content and suffering, my fucking BABY, one of the most beautiful and radiant people I've had the pleasure of meeting on here. You've been through so much but you still stop by to spread your positivity even when you're not feeling up to it yourself. Again, like the others, you're one of my artistic inspirations too and im so proud of you for your growth, both as a writer and an artist (tell Dean i love him ok?)
@not-majestic-bluenicorn Ri! My detectivetiny that will kick my ass over AtT one day. I know things have been rough for you as well but I want to take this time to compliment your hard work. The way you plan out your series' are really damn cool and professional and you're always ready to lend a hand or an ear to other writers in need. I genuinely enjoy talking to you about works (be it yours or mine, or just bouncing ideas back and forth) and I hope you continue to have a good time writing.
@angel0taiyo - my aussie firecracker, hi. I miss you babe, timezones are a bitch but I value every time I get to talk to you. You're legit one of the first fellow Domme I've found since getting into kpop (*cough* a lot of kpoppies round here are submissive bottoms lbr *cough*) and it's always so nice to talk to you about *checks notes* absolutely ruining cute boys. No but fr, ily babe and I miss ya.
@vvnte ATLAS HI WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE LGBTS SERVER DAYS AND YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME ILY SM AND IF ANYONE EVEN BREATHES WRONG IN YOUR DIRECTION IM FIGHTING. no but really. You're a wonderful gentleman and a gorgeous human being and i really do love you sm
@deepnesta Kira 🥺 ily and im super glad we started talking more often again. Ik school is a lot for you but you really are such a wonderful writer and I can't wait for you to show the world what you can do with your original works. Keep it up you funky little baby
@aaron-jamess aj. My sunshine. I really do look forward to seeing your asks, your reviews, anything. I genuinely feel like I've gained a little sibling and I'm sorry things have been rough lately but if Karma is real, the world has good for you, sweetie. You put so much good, supportive vibes in the world and you deserve it back a thousand fold.
@amelia-the-professional-smartass Amelia~♡ hi sweetie. My artistic honey bunch. I really do admire your creativity and how often you come up with your dnd ocs and drawings. You have such a firm grasp on character design and I always love reading through your oc headcanons or thought dumps. Keep up the amazing work.
@softjeon @jinterlude jey, mik, you two really are impressive and you helped teach me what it meant to be a good network admin. Being the admin of a net is hard enough. Being the admin of multiple can get to be so stressful but I'll be a damn fool if I didnt take this time to thank you both for teaching me what you knew so I could be a good admin myself and do right by my nets
Also for my little sis ❄ anon, i love u bunches bby and i think??? School might be hectic for you but I miss you and I hope you're having a good day
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oceanselevenism · 3 years
Note
I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?
omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)
- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous
- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)
- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents
- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)
- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great
- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence
- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long
- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)
- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross
- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts
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midnight633 · 3 years
Note
Hiiiii midnight it’s been a while! I’ve been pretty the air at school is pretty chill rn and I haven’t been as stressed as normal! Anyways I just finished reading the haikyuu manga and none of my irl friends are going to read it so I’m DYING to talk to someone about it while it’s still fresh on my mind (also I remember you saying you read the manga but if you didn’t don’t continue reading for spoilers!) well ANYWAYS the nekoma match took YEARS of my life let me tell you and the cage metaphors and tsukki and kuroo’s battle of the blockers it was probably one of my favorite matches. And KENMA at the end actually having fun ahahah I loved loved loved this match.
And then fukorodani’s match with akaashi was hard to read but the “we are the protagonists/stars of the world” made my bokuaka heart go places but akaashi just breaking was so surprising to see and the fact that they don’t even win nationals makes me sooo sad I wanted at least one team I knew to win nations also
AND THEN THE NEXT MATCH HINATAA the day that scene gets animated is the day I combust someone give HINATA a hug he just couldn’t play for w h a t and then they losttt and he was crying alone and coach ukai and takeda were absolute kings in this scene. Buuuuttt we did get to meet the tiny giant and I thkught he’d look real intimidating and scary but he actually seems pretty cool! AND THEN KAGAYAMA unpopular opinion I actually can’t STAND him sometimes he really went I win while hinata is really cryingg and I know it’s for plot but hsjajsjs
The time skip omggg okay yachi saying that date tech went to finals and the Miya twins beat karasuno actually made my heart really happy. I do wish when they were third years they could if won but getting third is also really incredible and YAMAGUCHI WAS CAPTAIN I really need the crew as their years fics. The beach part was so fun to read I loved meeting them new people and OIKAWA I never though hinata and oikawa would get to the point of being good friends but I loved seeing it
AND THEN RHE MATCH BETWEEN HINATA AND KAGEYAMA okay kags backstory was sad but the “one day you’ll okay with someone who is even better then you” and that someone being hinata he finally beat kagayama it makes me sooo happy. Also bokuto making everyone clap for him I love it AND THE NEXT PART WITH OIKAWA ahahshd I don’t even want to know the outcome of the match but I was sooo sad it ended (and is it weird that I want a spinoff with natsu hinata playing volleyball that would be so cool)
I’m so sorry for the long ask it’s just I have NO ONE to talk to about this and you don’t ever have to answer I just like ranting so if you made it this far thank you and have an amazing rest of your day!
@ren-likes-muffins ?!! HOLY SHIT??!! You did it?!
I don't know what's with Tumblr not giving me notifications (also I haven't checked it much) so I'm late at seeing this but I AM SOO HAPPY U READ THE MANGA BECAUSE WE CAN NOW SCREAM AT EACH OTHER! I actually read the manga then went back and rewatched the series and started rereading the manga till the end of nekoma match then a week of exams happened and I became antisocial.
Deep breath
Like I was so pumped up for the nekoma match when I realized that was not yet animated and reading the first few pages of the manga was hard cuz my dumbass brain didn't wanna read right to left and interpret instead went rushing through the panels ( hence the re read to savour the storyline and characters) . But once I got into it the match was soo good? Like Kenma really went I don't care you're my friend I'm gonna tear u from limb to limb and did so calmly? I agree with the cage metaphor when he broke through it I was so giddy and I remember Suguru ( Nohebi's captain) commenting how he didn't like Tsukki's vibes and realising that it was same as Kuroo's and hating them both :)
The Fukorodani's match fed my bokuaka heart and was a precursor to Bokuto's 'im a normal ace' part. The tiny giant was kind of a disappointment but that's life for you.. and the kamomedai match man the battle of the little giants - I was so rooting for Hinata but when he collapsed I didn't get it at first but then it hit me and takeda's talk about taking care of body being a part of volleyball and all made me cry. Also Kenma coming to check up on Hinata? Soft. Heart breaking. Cue waterworks.
Somewhere deep inside I always expected Karasuno to win the nationals but they lost and I wasn't even bothered by it at the end
So.. unpopular opinion I kind of don't like Kageyama? He is always being insensitive and a dick to Hinata and when says I'm going forwards or some shit when Hinata collapses really made me dislike him very much. I don't really think their dynamic is healthy so kagehina became a big no-no for me.
But post time skip I loved that they could settle it and work together as equals. But Brazil?! My god, little Hinata become so accomplished-Ninja Shoyou- and the bit abt Kenma sponsoring him, Oikawa meeting him and becoming friends, seeing all these great high school players in the same team- let me tell you Atsumo and Sakusa on the same team with their competitive vibes with Bokuto - man I laughed like crazy at the Bokuto Beam, its so dorky and utterly him- and Hinata was perfect. Is it weird I want spinoff of the MSBY jackals and their shenanigans? I loved how they showed every ones career and Tsukki still playing 🏐 after saying it's just a game - he must have been more hooked than he let on-
I agree a spin off with natsu playing 🏐 would be soo Cool - going all like but Onichan you can't come to my game then everyone will want your autograph and you'll embarrass me-
I wanted more but with the open ending I can now imagine anything and subsequently my haikyuu brainrot is spreading
I too don't have any irl friends who watch it and I resigned myself to being alone in this but man ranting is so satisfying isn't it?
My haikyuu phase doesn't seem to end soon but it's just that I can't get into the head space for ATLA and I feel so guilty for it, I have so many updates from fics I've subscribed and I can't muster any interest in checking them out.
On another note it's so funny in a show where the only confirmed couples seem to be Tanaka and Kiyoko yet I ship so many of them!? In my mind they are all gay and I ship them. My fav ships are probably- iwaoi, daisuga, BOKUAKA, kuroken, and weirdly enough I was kinda obsessed with sakuhina, atsuhina, oh and sakuatsu. I. Just. Think. They're. Neat.
Oh well this is way too long and if you've read all this you have the patience of a saint and I'm proud of you. If you want let me know your fave ships and other manga bits that caught your attention ( random- but I love that Kita is a rice farmer and supplies for onigiri Miya)
Here is a fanart that I love that reminded me of the ' we are the protoganists of the world'
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Byee!! Take care and Have a lovely day! Ily<3
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tellywoodtrash · 3 years
Note
Hi TT,
I'm so glad that your lbs are back🥳🥳.
So much has happened in immj2 land after the vihaan track.Your lbs were the only source of immj2 for me..so when u stopped the lbs at the point where vihaan was revealed to be vansh only and he started playing mind games and revenge revenge with a clueless ridhima...Uske baad kya hua till the events in this lb I have no idea.So can you pls do a KAHANI AB TAK from the point where the lbs were on hold till now?
Love
Ratna.
Hi hi!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖
Oh boy, tbh, this show is bonkers crazy and I don’t know how to sensibly explain what the fuck went down, but I shall tryyyyyyy:
Ok so we left off at Vansh telling Riddhima to murder Kabir. She obviously can’t do it coz she’s a weakass bitch (warna kab ka Vansh ko hi maar deti uske anginnath chutiyaape ke liye............) Kabir gloats about it to Vansh and also lets slip that they were in a relationship before she came into V’s life, and how he’s just not fated for love, is he. Vansh gets hella mad at this and instead of going to therapy about it like a normal person, decides ki I have to get revenge from Riddhima for this. They go on some dhaarmic vacation where he abandons her and when she finally makes her way back everyone’s like “Hein tum kaun????????????/ Vansh ki biwi toh Ahaana hai.” So basically Riddhima; whose whole identity is just being Vansh’s wife; ka account deactivate ho jaata hai, like Trump’s twitter. Siya meanwhile starts yelling in her coma for Riddhima Bhaabi, so Vansh has to let R stay. There’s some stupidass competitions and shit between her and Ahaana and R is finally like ok you know what I’ve had enough of this and leaves. Siya finally wakes tf up and tells everyone the truth. V like OHNOE!!!!!!! I’M A DUMBASS!!!!!!! (yeah, we know.) and runs behind R and stops her from leaving. R usse bhi badi buddhu and actually gets back together with this fucking crazy man and his nonsense family. Ab aata hai track where Kabir starts sending Riddhima clues about her past and R finds that her parents didn’t actually abandon her at the anaath-ashram but actually died in some accident. She finds that around the saaaaaaaaame time, teenage V was in juvie. Snooping around, snooping around, as per usual she wants to know if V’s connected to her parents. Because no one taught her ki correlation =/= causation. V plans elaborate second shaadi to keep her from snooping but Riddhima apni multitasker max hai! Manages to get through 4098340239480 shaadi rituals and also do her jasoosi, finds out he was in juvie for a car accident that killed a couple. V lies to everyone that the couple he actually killed was Kabir’s dad and aunt. Yeh sunke K ki khisak jaati hai, but then he actually overhears V and Ishani talking ki that was a lie and it was Ishani who killed Riddhima’s parents and V took the blame for her. Kabir doesn’t like being taken for a fool and is like bitch imma burn this shit to the ground now and get my girl back too. Meanwhile V is having issues with his diamond smuggly business and is like “omg I have such a dangerous line of work I can never have a family of my own.” Well, yeh khayaal thoda late aaya coz guess who’s been regularlyyyyyyyy tapping it without wrapping it??????? Yeah, this dumbass who doesn’t want kids. K ka dariya dil is like “arre waah ek se saath ek muft muft muft? I want R and baby also!” V is a pissyass bitch about R getting pregnant as if she did it all on her own with no contribution from him. Anyway, thanks to his diamond smuggling fuckery someone shoots during a family event and Ishani loses her baby. Not the best time for everyone to find out R is pregnant, and people start trying to murder her and baby. Someone keeps sending her warning letters about it tho. K keeps saving her ass and V is just like meh who cares, mereko toh bas apni padi hai. AnuMom makes a comeback here and adds to the fuckery and K is like SO HELP ME GOD, DON’T YOU HURT MY GIRL AND BABY, and she’s like “hein yeh kya ho gaya, I was literally not here for a few weeks and ladka haath se nikal gaya.” Anyway, long story short, turns out it was the random uncle (Aryan’s dad who shows up only once in 6 months) who was looking out for R and baby and saving them via warning notes. For that nek kaam, AnuMom murders the fuck outta him. Tbh by this point I stopped even keeping up with the show and someall fuckery happens with the diamonds and all, but at some point V realises ki “oh mere ko bhi chahiye apna crotch-goblin” and accepts the consequences of his non-condom wearing actions. By this point Kabir is trying to get the diamonds and the girl + baby and idk man.......... Kuch ka kuch ho jaata hai and they all end up in a forest where Kabir seems to have murdered V (but he’s saved by AnuMom who’s like FRIENDSHIP ENDED WITH KABIR, NOW VANSH IS MY BEST SON) , and is all ready to marry R but V comes outta nowhere and haathapaai ensues and this leads to V/R jumping off a cliff and hiding but he gets shot and sends Riddhima off to safety.
Now we’ve moved to Voot. V wakes up 6-7 hours later in the forest to find Angre there; Angre says R is home and sent him to come get him. V comes home to find new and improved Riddhima who is veryyyyyyy horny all the time (not unheard of with pregnancy hormones.) Meanwhile entry of sasta!Vansh who R has some deal with and she keeps doing shit like steal the diamonds for him and some khaandani rifle (they keep calling it a “SNIPER RIFLE” but it legit looks like Vasco De Gama ki gun from Andaz Apna Apna.) Dadi on the other hand has turned into this major Gangster Grandma who’s ruthless as fuck and is all about the Raisinghania naam and power and mafia business or whatever and she’s like I can’t take it how V and R are fucking up the name of the fam for their do takke ka manhoos pyaar, I want them murdered, esp. R. V finds out that sasta!V’s wife (whom he claims to have murdered) looks exactly like Riddhima and is now convinced ki yeh jo mere ghar mein hai is a duplicate, and they have kidnapped my real pregnant wife. Anyway, he’s like fine Dadi, I’ll murder R for the khaandaan. Takes her to the jungle and shoots her in front of Aryan. But V is puraana paapi who is expert in making it look like he’s murdered the love interest of the season and hiding them from the whole world, so yeah............... Keeps R in some room somewhere and interrogates her every day but she’s like OMG *I’m* your wife, dumbass. Udhar Siya’s traumatised by bhaiyya’s wife-murdering ways and is now falling for sasta!Bhaiyya and gotten a makeover and discovered teenage rebellion; while Ishani’s realized how hot her husband is and is constantly wanting to sex him. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now the non-Rrahul dude has gotten COVID irl, so I guess he’ll be off the show for a bit, and my cyuuutoooo Kabir (who’s being kept captive somewhere by Riddhima????) will finally be back? One can hope. I miss Kabir and this show is absolutely nothing without him.
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things ive already established r on this post
besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri
okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.
so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.
i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.
anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.
anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.
he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao
to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.
so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.
OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.
and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.
when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.
i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.
back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.
she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.
cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.
they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.
i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.
welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz
post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3
not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him
THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk
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disslve · 4 years
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𝐲𝐞𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐰 & 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐝𝐲 ! this is nai and my cowboy ass is here to throw roxy @ u and also tell u bad jokes and cry over life is strange 2 because i’m still not over this game and I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. just a heads up, i came up with roxy on a whim because this rp just looked so good,  so if it seems like i don’t know what i’m talking about ... it’s most likely the case whoops . ( this is an excuse for me bringing shitty muses ). anyway, my fake cowboy ass loves to ramble so if you’re interested in plotting feel free to LIKE this post or hmu. i forgot to mention that i’m also a fake grandma so idk anything about discord at all and i still need to set it up which will happen in the next few days dsdnsdsdn. 
ps: wanted connections/plots can be find in my wanted tag ( a link is on my blog ) and i’ll also list some below !
EDIT: discord name is nai #7158
 * [ kristine froseth + cis-female + she/her ] —— have you met roxanne ‘roxy’ bailey ? they are a twenty-two year old junior currently studying romance languages and literatures. they live on decker house and word around campus is that this scorpio is compassionate + dedicated, as well as impatient + dishonest. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. 
basics.
full name: roxanne elise bailey
nicknames: roxy, rox
sexual orientation: bisexual
birth place: valencia, spain ( but only lived there for five years ) 
history. 
one could say that roxy had lived an easy life, though her parents weren’t distinguished by their social status, it didn’t mean they lacked money which was enough to support their daughter in whatever she wanted to do.
truth to be told, roxy was indeed a little spoiled, the type of kids who would try all kind of things on the expenses of their parents only to quit a new ‘hobby’ again. she could barely stick to anything. she was some twisted kind of golden child, good at many things but never had the patience to continue something for long enough to cultivate it. 
skipping over the part where she almost tried everything from arts, music etc. she finally found her passion ( and even roxy herself was surprised ). figure skating. she didn’t know what drew her in, she couldn’t explain it, she tried it and it felt right. roxy always describes the feeling as finding a soulmate if she feels extra dramatic that day. 
unsurprisingly, she was good at it. not that kind of good at something she was at all the other things she tried before, but that being good at which stemmed from genuine interest. maybe, that is why she managed to get so far. and it didn’t take too long that people even started to call her a figure skating prodigy. 
at this point at her life, she had it all, spinning the stars on her fingertips ( or warning bad pun ahead: spinning on the ice ). until, well, her parents company was in some crisis and they had to cut corners in the meantime. also oh so ‘conveniently’ roxy lived at the arse end of nowhere and getting to her practices was now even more difficult because as mentioned before they had to save their money for more necessary things. of course, there were more things , small and big, which totally threw her off ( which i am too lazy to list rn).
roxy tried to work part time, but a) the money wasn’t enough b) she didn’t want to cut more hours of training she managed to get. AND well, here comes the turning point and roxy thinking she was oh-so-smart without realizing that it would cost her career. oh-so-smart roxy came up with the idea to , well, just steal some stuff. after all, she trained with many other wealthy peers and she could just sell off their stuff or something. 
at the beginning she only did it to afford certain things she needed, but soon it somehow became an addiction. she felt in control when everyone else in her life was an utter mess. however, the more she took things away from others the more she felt comfortable, doing it more often and sometimes taking things which weren’t even worth that much. it was only a matter of time until she was caught. and as if she was lucky for too long, the person who caught her pressured her into either giving them a hefty sum of money (which she didn’t have) or to quit figure skating. she decided for the latter.
well, here she was and her sudden departure was quite a shock. but she had no choice and stated it was for personal reasons. 
skipping over her being devastated over it, etc. her parents managed to save their company (whatever this company is) but at this point it was already too late and roxy was accepted into holloway. 
right now she actually wants to pick up her figure skating career again, however, she’s too afraid that the blackmailer is going to expose her and also she doesn’t really know who they are (lets pretend they wrote her letters, txt messages >??) and also she’s kind of afraid due to the lack of practice she had .
personality.
okay i’ll keep this short bcs i wrote way too much for her background story. but to sum it up, roxy kind of has that perfect girl facade.  considering how many friends roxy has and how social she appears to be it is odd that no one seems to be able to describe her.  roxy doesn’t want people to know who she truly is, and she keeps her distance as she actively avoids conflicts that might cause her to say something wrong and exposes herself. 
she shields her feelings by only presenting polished version of herself, the facade of the perfect girl: kind, hard-working and polite. someone whose life is easy and someone who looks like she doesn’t have any worries. it doesn’t mean she isn’t anything of that, but it’s not as if her kindness has no bounds or that she doesn’t need to put effort into the things she does. nevertheless, she believes that she must be perfect in order to make people like her. and while, she is pretty good at masking her emotions and smile along, as soon as someone threatens to see past the illusion, she will become defensive and won’t hesitate to lie in order to preserve it.
plots.
best friends: although roxy pretty much keeps her distance from everyone else, this person had always stood by her side. maybe they knew about roxy’s sudden wannabe-thief phase ( which she is still in ) and well tried to talk her out of it ( which obviously didn’t work ). also adding some drama here and maybe they had a big argument over it and distanced from each othr because of it. however, my angst ass doesn’t want to ruin it and they’ll rekindle their friendship. they might meet again at holloway and it’s awkward at first, maybe they even have some arguments but they’ll get over it because everyone loves a good rekindled friendship story.
annoyance: someone who gets under roxy’s skin.seeing past the perfect girl face and constantly calling her out on it. maybe they just have fun annoying her and want to see what she really likes or they just don’t like roxy , thinking that beneath all of this act, she is a really unpleasant person. perhaps, they’re even doing it with good intentions and want to show her that she doesn’t need to hide who she is. whatever it is, they’re determined to expose to the world who she really is. 
pen pal ??:  muse a and roxy had been friends for a very long time, yet the funny thing is that they’ve never met each other nor do they know what the other look like. all they know is their name ( or maybe they only know each other by their usernames ) and their deepest secrets. maybe they already have crossed paths many times and perhaps even know each other but don’t like each other irl. or they never had noticed the other.
blackmailer: BECAUSE WHY NOT??? the person who forced roxy to give up on figure skating. maybe, they were a rival or just didn’t like her, or any other reason. they might as well, have noticed that roxy is secretly training again and might be back at their shit again. 
exes: GIVE ME THE ANGST, maybe muse a and roxy used to be in a serious relationship and as naive they were back then both of them thought this love would last forever. however, at some point roxy started to distance herself from muse a, constantly cancelling their dates because of their busy schedule. at first muse a tried to be understanding towards her, but as time passed things only got worse. roxy hating any kind of conflict just decided to ignore the problem instead about talking about it and eventually stopped replying to muse a messages. muse a never really got to know the real reason behind their break up and was left with unanswered questions. but anything works  
unrequited love: (this is just me throwing in my favourite way to make myself suffer) It doesn’t matter who is the one with the the one sided love because i just want some good angst.a)  muse a has a crush on roxy, yet they never told her about it. yet, muse a can’t hide it and it doesn’t take too long until roxy notices it. but instead of trying to talk to muse a about it, roxy just ignores it acting as she usually does and perhaps even give them false hope that she might like them back. maybe muse a even confessed to her and because roxy didn’t want to hurt them she told muse a she’d think about it.
b) roxy has a crush on muse a but doesn’t admit it. she doesn’t want to show their vunerable side and just plays it down. maybe they’re friends and roxy doesn’t want to lose another friend. but one day she confesses to muse a on accident, making everything awkward between them.
someone she stole from: idk i thought this would be fun ? maybe she confessed to them about it or maybe they caught her but decided to not confront her about it.
fan: someone who used to watch her perfomances on their tv and is still not over the fact that she quit.
i also have a connection page on my blog if these are too specific or none of these work 
i’m too tired to come up with more dsdsdnjsd but gimme everything !! THE ANGST, FLUFF, DRAMA PLS!!! 
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the only exception
Title: the only exception
Word Count: 4,549
Summary: College!AU, Musician!AU. Patton shows up to a music festival that Virgil—along with his twin brother, Roman—is headlining, hoping to surprise him. Turns out, it’s Virgil that surprises him first. Romantic Moxiety, brief background Logince. Song-fic.
Warnings: lots of fluff and softness and sappiness, mutual pining elements, declarations of love, description of crowds, cursing, discussion of anxiety, mention of anxiety attacks, kissing, Virgil “writes” a song that’s actually written irl by Paramore but ssshhh Paramore doesn’t exist in this AU, please let me know if I forgot anything.
A/N: Someone on tumblr once made a textpost that said “The Only Exception” was a Moxiety song, and weeks later I listened to it and realized they were right. And then I had this image in my head that wouldn’t go away for like. Months. And then eventually I decided to write this. It’s basically a song-fic. Crazy self-indulgent, heh. Also, I’ve never written Romantic Moxiety before, nor have I written a Patton-POV focused fic. So writing this was a whole boatload of new. I hope it turned out okay! Edited by yours truly, so all mistakes are mine.
You can listen to the song Virgil sings at the end here! 
Tags: @creativenostalgiastuff, @helloisthisusernametaken, @ren-allen, @quoth-the-sparrow, @princelogical, @random-pianist, @ravenclawicecream, @erlenmeyertrash, @milomeepit, @at-least-seven-pretty-potatoes, @rileyfirstname, @pinkeasteregg, @sassy-in-glasses, @vigilantvirgil, @generalfandomfabulousness, @lacrimosathedark, @thepoolofthedead, @monikastec, @heir-of-the-founders, @yourworstnightmare999, @artistictaurean, @kanejandkruge, @cdragontogacotar, @damienswifeolicitydallysgirl, @angst-patton, @savingshae, @noneed4thistbh, @awesomelissawho, @unikornavenger, @bopthesnoz, @spiralofsilencetheory, @finger-gunsss, @crownswriter123, @swlotakulady34, @gaylotusthatexists, @analogical-mess, @dolphidragon, @flix-net, @narniasfinestavengingsociopath, @friedlieb-ferdinand-runge, @bibbidy-bobbity-booyah, @procrastinations-my-middle-name, and also @randomslasher because moxiety! ^u^
Present. March. Junior Year.
Patton shoulders his way through the crowd as rock music blares loudly over the speakers. The late March air is cool, and the breeze tugs at the COLLEGE-PALOOZA MUSIC FEST banner hanging from the amphitheater’s stage. A few people he recognizes from his classes wave to him as they nod their head to the music. Patton slows as he finds a small gap in the crowd, not particularly keen on getting into the tightly packed mosh pit that had formed right in front of the stage.
The sun is beginning to set, casting the sky in a light purple hue. Perhaps ironically, it reminds Patton of the guy he’s actually here to see perform. Patton glances at the stage, but there’s no sign of him. He checks his phone for the time. The group was supposed to be on now, but perhaps he’d missed them already.
He looks at the guy beside him—leather jacket and sunglasses, holding a Starbucks cup—and asks over the music, “Which group is this?”
The guy takes a long swallow and then jerks his head towards the stage. “Planets Align. They had trouble getting the sound system working, so they’re running behind.”
Patton nods his understanding, smiles, and thanks him. Planets Align was scheduled to go on right before them, if the pamphlet he’d found on Virgil’s desk was anything to go by. He’d felt terrible at the time when he realized that the band Virgil had formed with his twin brother, Roman, would be headlining a music festival the same day Patton had already promised to help with a group project.
But the other members of his group canceled the meeting earlier today and rescheduled it for next week. So Patton really didn’t see any reason why he couldn’t come support Virgil. And if he maybe didn’t tell Virge in the hopes of being able to surprise him… well.
Besides, he had a feeling Virgil could use a nice surprise. He’d seemed really nervous about the festival when Patton was talking to him about it when he found the pamphlet. Virgil often seemed nervous, but… more nervous than even Virgil’s normal.
Patton smiles a bit to himself when he remembers when they first met.
September. Sophomore year.
“For the purposes of this research presentation, I will allow you to choose partners. We will need one group of three, but that certainly seems manageable.”
Patton glances around the stuffy lecture hall. It was only the third time the class had met, so Patton hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to many of his classmates yet. On top of that, it was a pretty big class. Patton had a feeling that he wouldn’t know everybody even by the end of the year. The professor waves her hand to indicate that they should select a partner and begin discussing the project.
Chatter rose up—most people leaning over towards people they were sitting next to, a few calling to friends across the room—and there was shuffling movement and the scraping of chairs as students milled about to find a research partner. Then Patton caught sight of a black and purple hoodie in the back row.
What was his name? Patton couldn’t remember, despite the ice breaker during their first class. He does remember the snort the guy had released when Patton had made a pun about his name when introducing himself. He also remembers the way he’d immediately ducked his head a second later when Patton grinned at him.
Patton gathers his things and squeezes through his classmates. “Hey,” he says. The guy in the hoodie looks up, seeming startled. “Wanna be partners?”
The guy blinks at him, then shifts in his seat and motions to the empty chair on the other side of his desk. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”
“I’m Patton, by the way.”
“Virgil. What, uh, what are you studying?”
Patton pulls his laptop out of his bag. “Oh! I’m an early education major. What about you?” As he asks, Patton casts a quick glance at the laptop in front of Virgil and notices the stickers on it: SANDERS in messy black scrawl, a thundercloud with a bolt of lightning, a small circle with a paint-smear style gay pride flag, and a few music notes.
“Graphic design with a minor in music,” he replies. Patton notices him glancing at the buttons on Patton’s backpack that he threw in the empty chair beside him—some about cats, some about dogs, a heart with glasses that he thought was cute, and a pride pin from last year’s Pride week.
“That’s pretty cool. You play music?”
Virgil lifts a shoulder. “With my brother, mostly.”
“Wow. That’s… really awesome,” Patton says, sincerely impressed. He’d always loved music, but really only dabbled in the ukulele. He’d always thought musicians were cool: having skills like that took a lot of work, and a lot of dedication. That seemed pretty admirable to Patton.
Virgil smirks. “If you say so.”
“I do. I mean it.” For a fleeting moment, Virgil looks taken aback by the insistence in Patton’s voice. “What do you play?”
Present.
“Roman is totally the hot one,” Patton hears a girl behind him say to her friends.
“Elliot thinks he has a crush on Logan Berry, you know.”
“He’s gay?” The girl sounds surprised, but not hostile.
“Ace, I think. Panromantic, if the stickers on his laptop are anything to go by.” Patton recognizes that voice as one of the girls in the LGBTQ+ club that Patton was secretary for.
“You have class with him?”
“We had English 100 together freshman year. Elliot’s in class with him and Logan, though, and says they want to gag literally any time the two so much as talk to each other.”
Patton grins to himself. Subtlety when he had a crush had never really been Roman’s strong suit. That was another place where Virgil was markedly different from his twin brother. Both Roman and Virgil had ways of keeping their distance from others, but where Roman put up a front of fearlessness and confidence and friendliness… Virgil seemed more likely to withdraw into himself.
Patton had learned that, and many other things about Virgil, slowly as meetings for the research project gradually developed into hanging out regularly and casually. Patton picked up on things about Virgil relatively quickly. He gets quiet and irritable when he’s actually anxious about something. He tends to catastrophize, especially when it comes to academics. He hasn’t yet learned how to accept compliments—something Patton didn’t let deter him from giving them. He hopes that the more he’s able to expose Virgil to them, the easier it will eventually get for him to accept them.
Patton learned that Virgil is fiercely protective, too. The fastest way for Virgil to overcome his anxiety about a situation is usually when it’s related to someone he cares about. He still remembers the fire that had alighted in his eyes when someone had started harassing Roman when he, Patton, Roman, and Logan had been heading back from a party on a Friday night a couple of months ago. Logan had been the one to diffuse that particular situation, but Patton hadn’t missed the way Virgil hovered closer to his brother and looked ready to fight when he’d seen the shaken look in Roman’s eyes.
But then there were the softer moments from Virgil, too. The fleeting moments when Patton saw something gentle and relaxed from him that a secret part of Patton liked to believe were just for him. They were a sign of trust from Virgil, and Patton had always cherished that trust precisely because it was so rare.
   …
April. Sophomore year.
“What time is it?” Virgil asks with a yawn. He’s sitting on the floor of his dorm, his guitar in his hands. His back is leaned up against the drawers of his desk. Patton sits on the floor across from him with his back against the cinderblock wall and his legs stretched out in front of him.
Patton digs his phone out of his pocket and checks. “Almost 1 in the morning.”
Virgil nods and strums a few chords softly. “You’re welcome to stick around, Patton, but… y’know. It’s chill if you’d rather go home.”
Patton shakes his head “I like it here,” he says. For reasons he is still figuring out, there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.
Patton watches him; he watches the way Virgil’s bangs fall in a soft sweep across his face, the dark eyeshadow smudged under his eyes, the slight parting of his lips as he mouths unheard lyrics. He always loves watching Virgil play guitar. There’s something about watching him hold the light brown acoustic instrument—like it steadies him, like it’s a shield that protects him—that Patton can’t help but love. Virgil seems to… breathe easier when he has a guitar in his hands.
“Virgil? Can I ask you something?” Patton says suddenly.
Virgil glances quickly at him, then back down at the guitar in his hands. Avoiding his eyes. “Yeah. Sure.” His voice sounds oddly tight to Patton.
“Why do you play music?”
The question seems to catch him off guard. Virgil stops short for a moment, glancing back up at Patton. His hands still against the instrument, his eyes flit away in thought.
Then—to Patton’s surprise—he sets the guitar aside.
“It… gives me a space where I can… connect, I guess?” He rubs the back of his head, glancing at Patton as if unsure whether or not his own words made sense.
“Connect?”
“Well,” Virgil pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his chin on top of them, “Yeah. I’ve never been good at… at the whole…” He waves a hand and sighs. “At the whole ‘words’ thing that’s required for making friends or helping someone or… whatever. I’m always afraid I’m gonna say the wrong thing, or make them feel awkward, or… shit, I don’t know. But music is different. It…” He huffs a frustrated sigh as the words escape him. Then he tosses Patton a wry smile. “See what I mean? Words aren’t really my thing. Music is different, though.”
Patton nods. He glances around at the MCR and Dear Evan Hansen poster on walls of Virgil’s side of the room. “I think I get it. Music lets you speak from where you are emotionally at a given moment, and people can come to you—or your music—to find that connection and community. It… lets you express yourself, and by doing that, lets you connect to other people.”
When Patton looks back at Virgil, he’s looking at him with something like disbelief. But there’s a softness and light in his eyes that makes Patton’s stomach flutter. “Yeah,” Virgil says eventually. “Exactly.” Patton meets his gaze with a small smile, even as he feels suddenly like Virgil can see all the parts of himself that he wants to hide.
The corner of Virgil’s mouth quirks slightly and he digs a small purple leather notepad out of his back pocket. He grabs a pen from the top of his desk and scribbles something down.
“Whatcha writing?” Patton asks curiously.
Virgil folds it and slips it back into his pocket. “Nothing, Pat.” He still has that soft kind of smile and look in his eyes even as he grabs his guitar and pulls it back into his lap.
Present.
“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Planets Align!” The emcee shouts into the mic as he runs on stage and the band waves as they exit to the cheers of the crowd. Patton applauds them and briefly considers moving closer to the stage before deciding against it. He’d never done well with tight crowds.
The sun has dipped below the horizon now, the sky darkening quickly. The lights from the stage bleed out onto the grass clearing, providing some lighting of the crowd itself as well. The air is a bit colder now, but Patton doesn’t mind. Besides, all the people around him moving and dancing have helped keep it from getting too cold anyway.
“Next up, the ones you’ve all been waiting for. Let’s hear it for… SANDERS!”
Patton lets out a cheer as the crowd screams. He sees Virgil’s twin brother—though you’d never know it from how differently they do make up and their hair—run on stage with his arms up to encourage the crowd’s response. The cheers get louder, and Roman grins and strikes a hero pose. He’s energized. Patton smiles at his evident excitement.
Virgil follows behind him, an electric guitar strapped to his back. Even from his distance from the stage, Patton can see him shaking his head at his brother’s antics. He gives a small, appreciative wave to the crowd. His eyes scan it, and a part of Patton can’t help but wonder if he’s looking for him someone.
Reasoning, though, reminds him that Virgil said he always tries to get a feel for the size of a crowd when he goes out on stage at a venue for the first time. It had started as a nervous thing—how many people might see me fail?—but as Virgil’s confidence in performing grew, it had mostly just become a habit.
“What is UP, everybody?” Roman says into the mic. He’s wearing a bright red leather jacket with a white shirt underneath, shiny gold skinny jeans, and red high top converse. “We’re so glad you could come out tonight. How about this awesome weather, yeah?”
More cheers. Patton watches as Virgil pulls the guitar from around his back with a smile. He’s in his familiar hoodie, purple shirt, black ripped skinny jeans, and his black sneakers with purple laces. At first glance, he doesn’t seem too nervous—Patton had long ago gotten in the habit of glancing at him to check if he’s okay when he knows Virgil might be getting anxious—but it’s hard to tell from this distance.
“My brother, Virgil, and I thought we’d kick things off with an original song. How’s that sound, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals?”  There’s louder cheering, and the two of them waste no time starting a song that Patton remembers from previous concerts of theirs he’d attended.
November. Junior Year.
Patton’s phone dings while he’s eating lunch in the student union and flipping through an education textbook to study for his quiz tomorrow on Vygotsky’s Zone of Proximal Development. Exams are quickly approaching, and Patton had always struggled to remember theorists’ names for some reason.
It’s a text from Roman. Is V with you?
Patton frowns and types back quickly. No. It’s Tuesday. Then he sends a second text. Why?
The student union is bustling with students breezing through to grab lunch before rushing off to the library or their class. Groups are clustered around tables to hash out the details of final projects as their deadlines approach in the next week or two. Exhausted English majors slump over their stale coffee cups and computers as they edit their final paper for the eighth time. Engineering students running on caffeine and spite chug another energy drink before hurrying off to the lab building. A couple others that Patton can see are watching Netflix in a desperate attempt to give themselves a break before plunging back into the grind of end-of-the-semester assignments.
Roman’s reply comes almost immediately. He sent me a single letter text which usually means he’s freaking out but idek where he is
Patton stands up and forgets his half-eaten sandwich, dropping it in the compost bin as he slings his backpack over his shoulder and hurries out of the building. Have you tried calling him?  He texts quickly.
R: Yeah. No response… just lemme know if you see him or if he texts you or something ok
Patton rolls his eyes. As if he’s just going to go about his day and not try to help. Especially if V might be freaking out. We’ll find him, Roman. You check the science center and I’ll check the music floor of Stokes Hall.
R: ok.
R: Thanks
Patton turns his ringer on at full volume and braces against the cold air as he hurries to the building beside the Student Union. The November air is biting. Students bustle with their noses tucked into their scarves and red fingers curled around coffee cups. There was no snow on the ground, but the grass still crunches under Patton’s shoes as he hurries across the quad towards Stokes Hall. His light blue beanie is pulled low over his light brown hair.
He’s wishing he had a scarf to hide his nose in—instead opting to try to tuck it into the sleeves of the sweatshirt tied around his shoulders—when he walks straight into someone.
“Shit! I’m so sorry—”
“Virgil?” Patton asks, immediately recognizing the voice. He looks up, and Virgil seems frozen for a moment. It only takes Patton a second to realize that his eyes are red and sunken slightly. His usual sweep of hair is a disheveled mess under the hood of his sweatshirt that engulfs his frame.
If Patton’s being honest, he looks… rough. Concern twists in Patton’s chest.
“I’m so sorry, Patton. I’m an idiot, I just wasn’t watching where—”
“Hey, it’s all good, Virge,” Patton says, quickly but sincerely. He places his hands on Virgil’s shoulder to anchor him. “Breathe.”
Virgil laughs but it’s humorless and shrugs out from under his grip. Patton frowns. “I’m fine. I know I look like a mess, but really. It’s fine now. I was just. Um. Coming outside for some air.”
Patton considers the deflection and decides to meet Virgil half-way. “I could use some too.”
“You don’t have to do that—”
“Honest, V. The cold air is kind of nice.” Patton slips his phone out of his pocket and sends a quick text to Roman. Got him. He offers a small, reassuring smile to Virgil.“ You wanna take a seat?”
Virgil meets his gaze, then glances away. He seems to think about it for a moment, then relents with a slight sag to his shoulders. “Sure. Fine.”
Patton wanders over to a bench across the pathway and takes a seat. He looks around as students rush quickly towards their classes, smiling brightly as a service dog trots dutifully beside his owner and pushes the button to open the door as the student hurries inside. He intentionally keeps his gaze from lingering on Virgil, even as he hesitates before sitting beside him.
Virgil waits until most of the students have rushed off before breaking the silence between them. “You aren’t going to ask?”
Patton glances over at him. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and you seemed reluctant to talk about it…. Should I ask?”
“No. Yes?” Virgil groans, zipping up his hoodie against the chilly air. “It wasn’t anything like. That bad. Y’know? I just get… anxiety attacks sometimes, and sometimes they get…” He trails off. Patton senses more than sees the way Virgil glances quickly at him. “Anyway. I’m fine now.”
Patton isn’t sure what to say. He’d known for a long time now that Virgil struggled with anxiety. That Virgil had anxiety attacks doesn’t exactly surprise him, and it definitely isn’t off-putting or anything of the sort. But Patton hates the way Virgil keeps trying to deflect… something. Judgement. Concern. Patton suddenly and fiercely wishes Virgil would just let someone care about him. Let someone love him.
Patton thinks maybe he already does.
“Virgil….” Patton says softly, looking at his hands folded between his knees, “It’s okay. You know that, right? You can talk to me about it. And I’m not gonna judge you or think you’re weird or that there’s anything wrong with you.”
“I… I’m fine.”
Patton lifts a shoulder. “Okay. But… it’s okay if you aren’t, too. And either way… you’re definitely not alone. You know? You know Roman’s there for you, but… but I am too. I care about you.”
In his peripheral, he sees Virgil look at him. “Patton—”
“There you guys are!” Roman exclaims as he jogs up to the two of them. Patton smiles at Virgil—who looks, for all the world, like the ground has shifted underneath him.
Patton wants to ask him why. He never does.
Present.
SANDERS has played through five songs, which means they’re nearing the end of their set. Patton is beaming. Virgil and Roman play off each other so well, and their music seems to be a blend of both of them in a way. They balance each other on stage. They’re fun to watch. Patton can’t help but think, though he may be biased, that if they really wanted to… they could make a career out of it.
But then they do something that surprises Patton, and apparently everyone else too from the way the crowd starts to murmur.
Virgil trades out his electric guitar for his light brown acoustic one. Roman grabs a wooden stool from one of the wings and sets it in the middle of the stage. Virgil adjusts the strap of the guitar around his shoulders, nodding his thanks to Roman.
“So I hope you all don’t mind if we close out with something a little different than our usual pace,” Virgil is saying into the wireless mic attached to him. “But I lost a bet against Roman, and that means I gotta do this.”
“If I lost I was gonna have to wear jorts for this concert. You all should be thanking me,” Roman quips back through his own mic. There’s a chuckle from Virgil as well as the crowd.
“Yeah, well. This is a song I wrote over the course of… probably about a year. It’s about someone very… important to me. He couldn’t be here tonight, but… he’s pretty great. Anyway, it’s a little different, so uh.” Even under the stage lights, Patton thinks he can see Virgil flushing slightly. “I hope you all like it.”
Virgil starts strumming and all Patton can do is watch him, transfixed by the sound of an acoustic guitar and the sight of Virgil under a spotlight on stage. It’s a much softer song already than any other song in their entire set. Virgil ducks his head slightly, his black sneaker tapping out the ¾ meter. And then Virgil starts to sing.
“When I was younger I saw my daddy cry, and curse at the wind.
He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it.
And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget.
And that was the day that I promised I’d never sing of love if it does not exist.
But darlin’ you are the only exception. You are the only exception…”
As Virgil sings, Patton can’t help but feel rooted to the spot. Virgil sitting and playing his acoustic guitar reminds Patton suddenly of that moment again back in Virgil’s dorm room. That moment of honesty and openness from him that always felt so rare. Patton feels like he’s experiencing that again, despite the crowd and the spotlights. Because this is not performance-Virgil, this is just…. Virgil. At his most honest. At his mot exposed. And it’s breathtaking.
Patton doesn’t even fully realize that he’s moving closer to the stage until he almost trips over a girl that’s swaying and holding her phone with a flashlight up in the air.
Virgil breaks into the second verse, and Patton feels his stomach fluttering all over again at the sound of his voice.
“Well maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts.
And we’ve got to find other ways to make it alone or keep a straight face.
And I’ve always lived like this. Keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness,
‘Cuz none of it was ever worth the risk.
Well you are the only exception. You are the only exception…”
And a part of Patton—a part he’s afraid to admit to—suddenly starts to grow insistent with the realization that he might be really, truly, unequivocally in love with the person singing on the stage in this moment. The one with his bangs falling into eyes that had always looked to Patton to be a little bit afraid and a lot brave.
This song, this moment, is no exception to that. Music, for Virgil, had always started from some place deeply personal. It is what allows him to connect to others, after all. And Patton doesn’t know if the song is about him, but he wants it to be. Because that deeply personal space that Virgil is singing from resonates with Patton in a way that leaves only one thought repeating in his head. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Almost as if he hears the thought itself, Virgil looks up and starts scanning the crowd again as he reaches the bridge.
“I’ve got a tight grip on reality  
But I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here.” He’s scanning, scanning, scanning…
“I know you’re leaving in the morning. When you wake up,
Leave me with some kind of proof it’s not a dream. Oh…”
And then his eyes settle squarely on Patton, and Patton swears he hears the very faint catch of Virgil’s breath through the mic.
Patton gives him a small, faint smile. There’s a brief moment where uncertainty flickers through Virgil’s dark eyes, and then something sets firmly in them. As if he’s made some kind of split-second decision. Virgil stands up from the stool and starts making his way towards the stage stairs, continuing to play and sing as he does so.
“You are the only exception. You are the only exception….”
Patton loses sight of him as he steps down to ground level, the crowd blocking his view. But Virgil keeps singing that line over and over, you are the only exception, as if imploring Patton to hear it and understand it and know it is meant for him. As if perhaps Virgil has to repeat it himself to fully believe in its truth, but each time he sings it, Patton can hear the conviction growing. Far ahead of him, Patton can see people shifting around in the mosh pit in front of him.
Patton doesn’t move. He doesn’t think he knows how to.
And then through the crowd of people in front of him steps Virgil, still playing. Still singing. And Patton can’t help but notice his eyes look wide and scared and vulnerable—but unwavering—as he sings the final line.
“But I’m on my way to believing…”
He plays the final chord and stands there, looking up at Patton. He’s so close. The guitar and a few inches is all that separates them. Patton swallows past the lump in his throat and brings a hand up to cup Virgil’s jaw before leaning his forehead against Virgil’s and whispering.
“Can I kiss you?”
His eyes are closed, so he doesn’t see Virgil’s relieved, crooked grin. But he feels it when Virgil presses his lips to his own.
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moneyshvt · 4 years
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☆ . · . simay barlas, twenty-two, female, she / her . · . ☆ AYLA CLEARWATER lives in that huge mansion over there! no, not that one. look for THE LARGE NATURAL STONE FOUNTAIN and that’ll be it. the SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHER has offered occasional glimpses of LIGHT GREEN walls and an impressive collection of EMPTY PICTURE FRAMES in the background of social media posts, but all of that is nothing compared to seeing the opulence in person. they’ve remained CLEVER as ever since moving to tercet court one year ago, but it seems like they might’ve gotten a little more of NARCISSISTIC too. maybe that’s why they’re rumored to have such a FRIENDLY relationship with everyone else who lives on this street. ☆ . · . ooc info: ollie, they/them, 21, est . · . ☆
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘
— she was adopted when she was just under two years old from turkey, so the clearwaters have always felt like her family to her. she knew the greater part of growing up that she was adopted, it just never was an issue for her. it was a fact, but it really wasn’t an important fact. she has no desire to try to find her birth parents or family, though she has visited turkey.
—  the clearwaters are a triple threat in sports : her grandfather retired mlb player and coach, her father a retired prominent defenseman in the nhl and current dartmouth men’s hockey coach, and her older brother ( 26 ) is making a splash in his third year in the nfl as a wide receiver.  however, her parents made sure she and her brother had a ( fairly ) average “middle class” bringing up, though they had their fair share of money in the bank. didn’t have to struggle, really, but didn’t get everything she wanted either. had a summer job scooping ice cream for two years in high school.
— grew up in norwich, vt, real big on nature and hiking and all that jazz and lowkey misses it in the heart of la.
— when she was ten she got one of those kid’s polaroid cameras ( u know the ones where the film is only a little bigger than a postage stamp ) and she was obsessed. she worked her way up through cameras over the years, having a natural eye for it.
— one of the first games she ever shot was one of her brother’s high school football games which sounds sweet but it was actually because she was so bored out of her mind and wanted something to do. needless to say, though, that was the start of it. some might say it was kind of inevitable she gravitated toward sports somehow — she was a clearwater at heart. since then she has gained a lot of knowledge and respect for all different kinds of sports.
— for college she was torn between dartmouth and nyu. she ultimately chose nyu because it was somewhere new.
— she went to nyu for advertising and photography, shooting various nyu sports teams while she was there and throughout her years, managed to shoot a few rangers, knicks, and yankees games as well. she held two summer internships with the yankees ( on her own merits or because of her family name, she may never truly know ) and ultimately graduated from nyu a year early.
— she then spent the better part of a year after graduation road tripping as you do and ended up in california. it’s all about who you know, and in picking up a favor for a friend in cali she stumbled into the perfect opportunity. from there she landed a role on the company that handles the photography for staples center and other notable teams, most notably the kings, lakers, and dodgers ( photography company based on this irl one ).
— she moved into tercet court not long after she knew she would be in la for much of the time being. it’s definitely not her house, considering she makes just enough to live on. it’s a family home, purchased initially by her father who’d wanted to sink some money into tangible assets instead of the stock market and to have a west-coast home available for the family. hey, worked out pretty well for her.
— she has predominately been tasked with shooting the kings the past year or so, though she started with shooting dodgers games last summer and is doing so this summer as well. she’s also shot a handful of lakers’ games when a friend needs someone to cover. three of her photos so far have been used in large ads and banners in the city ( including most recently her current MONEY SHOT of the game winning goal in a come back win ) --- very cool moment for her. several others have been used by local publications and websites.
— she does a little freelance work as well ; mostly for friends or friends of friends, though she’s been considering lately trying to make her skills and business available in a more professional manner. she does do a lot of photographing for herself --- a lot of candids ; she thinks they capture the true spirit of a person moreso than when they’re posing or prepared for a photo. but not in a creepy way --- she’s been the victim of the paps enough times by association with her family to know the correct boundaries and limits.
𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂
— lowkey loves playing games with the paps, though she’s probably the only one that finds it funny. as a photographer herself she has a good eye for where they’re hiding and will also snap photos of them in turn just for her own amusement.
— she hopes someday to be the team photographer for a team, hopefully in one of the “big four” ( nfl, nhl, nba, mlb )
— she played field hockey and lacrosse through high school.
— ayla thinks she’s better at shooting people. part of what she loves about being a sports photographer is how active and unpredictable it is to shoot a game. she’s had to learn a lot to try to predict what she can.
— very much a morning person. has never had a problem waking up in the morning. who’s jealous bc i am. goes for a run at sunrise, and has showered, gotten ready for the day, and is at a local cafe shop editing photos / making graphics and drinking an iced mocha by 8. truly couldn’t be me...
— so desperately wants to be that girl with tons of cute aesthetic plants in her apartment but tragically plants always die in her care no matter what she does. probably has gotten one of those tiny tabletop sand zen gardens to make herself feel better tho she still keeps trying with plants. so far the only ones that have lived any length of time are the air plants.
— she really wants a greyhound but is afraid to make the commitment to actually adopting one.
— her personal insta ( the non-sports one ) has a modest following. a few thousand, probs.
— she has struggled a bit with people who think her opportunities have only arisen because of her family pedigree ( which some have gone so far to tell her they’re “not her family” --- which, don’t even go there, lads... ), and that has made ayla work all that much harder to prove that she’d gotten where she has on her own merits.
— she has a rule ( and in the case of the nhl there is a rule enforced by a signed contract ) about not getting involved with anyone she shoots ; it’s considered a conflict of interest. i imagine she has a really good relationship with the players though --- probably doesn’t hurt that she is pretty. at least one of them have hired her to shoot their wedding this summer even though she is wildly under qualified.
𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘
alya is a chill and laidback person at heart. her approach to the fame attached to her due to her father and brother has been to laugh it off good-naturedly. she’s generally well liked, with a hint of sass and humor. she comes across as a bit of an air-head at times, but that’s part due to a persona she put on from a young age. she has an observant eye that drew to her photography in the first place and will often allow her to draw certain conclusions about people. she’s well versed in all the sports she shoots, something that tends to surprise a lot of people, but how is she supposed to be good at her job if she isn’t ? if she gets bothered during games she typically shuts people down with wide eyes and some obscure bit of knowledge in her cute, raspy lil voice. dareisay... elle woods, what like it’s hard ? energy ??
a few of her downfalls include her narcissism and need to be liked. she looks to look and feel pretty, by her own standards, and is a queen of the self-timer and remote self photography : has two instas because of it -- one for her sports photography and one that’s a “personal” and mostly just pictures of herself. her need to be liked is something she doesn’t even realize. she likes to be seen in a positive light.
𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄
alya stands at 5′4″ with a slim but athletic build. her hair is naturally brown, but is dyed to have blonde highlights. she does not need glasses or contacts and has no tattoos.
she’s almost always wearing the same pair of beat up timberland’s she’s owned since freshman year of college. she likes to be able to move easily ( bc homegirl absolutely cannot walk in heels at all ). despite what the tabloids like to call her unfortunate choice in footwear, she likes to look cute, often pairing them with short, flowy sundresses or skirts + crop tops. when she shoots games, however, she’s dressed rather practically in skinny jeans, a crop top, and a cardigan. her hair is often kept down and loose, or in a messy bun.
𝐎𝐎𝐂
it me. ollie again. i also play fitz ( miguel bernardeau fc ). yes the overlap between fitz and ayla is not great but i truly only know one thing that that one thing is hockey asldfalsdjf sO. if y’all seeing me rping with myself on the dash bc i think it’d be fun to bounce fitz and ayla off each other mind ur own business...
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thegempage · 4 years
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⭐⭐⭐ infodump time :3c
JFKDLAS DO YOU EVEN REALIZE THE POWER YOU’VE GIVEN ME
BCUS I’M JUST GONNA USE IT TO TALK ABOUT CLAIRRE
well okay 1. thank you fjdksalf
2. this is for that director’s cut meme
3. man this took a while to write bcus i had to keep coming back jfkldsaf
if you’re reading this and wondering “who the fuck is clairre” then you must be new here or spectacularly good at tuning me out, and anyway clairre is my d&d character who i love very much, you can read about them here, and you should bcus i love this dumbass lesbian
and actually. because i already have the fic pulled up, let’s talk about some of those chapters, huh : 3?
under a cut bcus i have three in mind i want to talk about and it might take a while
SO FIRST
let’s talk about lindie, whom i love, because i have been thinking about her all day in lieu of having anything else to think about that doesn’t make me super anxious, and in talking about lindie i will reveal the project i had hoped to keep secret because at this point nothing matters and i am nothing if not known for being bad at secrets
so lindie is the only named character from clairre’s past besides their lusus, and i love not only her but what she has become representative of, because there, there is the root of some of clairre’s issues that have started to come up more and more. she’s this optimistic, friendly gal willing to champion for a kid who’s clearly got issues in a world where that literally puts her head on the line. she’s passionate, to a fault even, she has her mind set on a long term goal and not even the universe can stand in her way of getting it. she’s big and loud and emotional, hell if she’d ever been in a game she was diagnosed as a hope player, so like, that says a lot about her. she’s a big heart and a big planner and she took one look at clairre being shady in a corner and was like “i’m gonna help them out”
and then! and then! because alas, she is the lone named figure in a d&d backstory, but also bcus of course her big heart and clairre’s soft attention would get the better of her, she starts flushing for them. and they’re flushing back, and it’s so painfully obvious, and she doesn’t want to come right out and say it, so she doesn’t. and she waits. and she loves, as much as she can, and then it’s all too late.
i’m actually working on some stuff about her, and there’s a passage that goes:
“The feeling of their hand leaving yours makes your chest hurt. They seem to be waiting, waiting on one more thing. They’re looking at you, and you wonder how many of the words stuck in your throat they can read in your eyes. You hope it’s all of them. You hope it’s everything you’ve ever thought about them, everything you’ve ever admired and loved and craved. ‘Promise me you’ll find peace, wherever you go,’ you finally choke out, because if there is one thing you want it is that if you can’t protect them, that the universe will. “
and that, i think, that’s kind of the core of what i wanted for the two of them, that they were just two teens trying their best and all they wanted was the best for each other, but the best for each other meant they could never be together. and it hurt! it hurt so much! clairre is still hurting in the current time! but they knew they had to.
AND SECOND
THE SAME SCENE, BUT TWICE, BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME THREE STARS
because if you think i’ve stopped thinking about that session then you’re sorely mistaken
so the first one, the one with the kiss scene?? i’m still emotional about it. i mean i’m emotional about the whole thing but kind of tying into that entire rant about lindie above this, clairre is like, still healing from their past, and jaynne is still kind of awkward about feelings, and they’d just lost basically their entire fucking party (as far as we knew at that point) and they were still mourning, but for just a second, the world gives them sapce to breathe (hehe) and even tho clairre’s head is still spinning from facing so much at once and jaynne just had to face one of her deepest fears, the sheer relief of we made it, we made it, we made it and the fact that holy shit this is the longest they’ve been apart since being teleported to the Battlefield just. slingshots clairre at jaynne and it was gay and i’m mentally lying on the ground thinking about it bcus tbh??? that was the best way that scene could’ve ended, if u ask me
(and holy shit was i shaking that whole time. like actual, irl, making it hard to write my notes shaking)
and i think this was the quote i used to introduce it to chat, but my favorite line is still:
“Jaynne, dressed in yellow and orange, hair undone, indigo wings holding her in the air. The sun on her shirt is oddly appropriate, considering how your heart seems to alight with pure, unfiltered red love. She looks around, she spots you, and you are connecting before a conscious thought can even form in your mind, because if there was a time in your life for a kiss it is here, now, after you stared down death and told it to fuck right off.”
bcus just. i mean look at it. i love it and i love these gays and i can’t wait for all three of them to be reunited (and also clairre and aerith bcus that’s gonna be good too)
also both clairre and jaynne have long hair and clairre has wind powers, that kiss was a hair tornado and that’s a v fun image to me
and then clairre’s constant internal insistences -- they’ve stopped taking no for an answer, including from themself, and it was so fucking fun to write them just putting their foot down and giving a big middle finger to the universe trying to beat them down bcus Guess What, Fuckers, I’m Sick Of Your Shit! and it works!
and then them seeing that oh shit, zierre and aerith are okay? much like clairre i was already sobbing but if i wasn’t i would be now
even if it’s then followed by an oh shit but perspehone isn’t jfkldasf
and then the second version
so to be completely transparent, i started the second version half bcus yours, octo, made me Big Emotional and half bcus i realized i wanted to explore the role of like, touch and being connected and holding hands? bcus that’s smth i’ve established about clairre, that they show affection of all sorts through physical touches, and the fact that they were just like. leaning on each other and clairre was messing with jaynne’s hair and they literally have to hold hands to use their fraymotif??? like??? aaaahhhhhhh????
but it ended up kind of unfolding into this larger exploration of not only the role of physical affection but also like, clairre’s thoughts on a much deeper level and their relationship to relationships in general and how even if they’re not blaming themself in so many words for what happened to everyone, they still feel like somehow their presence has doomed everyone to this unhappiness because that’s what’s always ended up happening.
and i also got to throw in their random observational thoughts! i think there’s just. smth poetic about how they’re literally flying through space at top speed bcus someone they thought was a friend but has been apparently torturing and manipulating the people they love just shot one of their gfs nearly to death and one of their only coherent thoughts is
“Jaynne’s blood is running down your arms as if to serve as an hourglass for what time you have left. Something in your think pan wonders if the trail you’re inevitably leaving behind in space looks like stars.”
and like i’m not saying i’m right but --
jakldsf anyway
also like. the parallels of these two trying to reassure the other in what ways they know how, except clairre’s only ever had to do this once before and jaynne is trying to make sure that even if this fails she’s given them something to hope for, and the fact that both of them are like .5 seconds away from saying “i love you” but neither one of them is ready for it??? poetry in motion d&d
............. okay i think i’ve talked long enough jfkdalfs thank you for coming on this thought journey with me, everyone!!
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spideyjlaw · 5 years
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My Avengers Endgame World Premiere experience
this is really long, lota rambling feel free to read skim anything idc, no spoilers bc this was on Monday before I saw the movie :) 
Ok Ima start Saturday night, this is when I was packing making and painting my posters that said “Thank You Avengers”, I live in California so I didn’t have to fly to this event. At 12am we (my family) we arrive in Los Angeles around 5am. At this time I thought that the premiere was going to be at El Capitan Theatre where it was originally supposed to be. We drive by the theater and we see no one is in line which was weird bc normally there would be people here already so i search and find the location which was switched last min (smh) the drive to the next location wasnt too long but at least i knew i was at the right location bc of the small group of fans and the giant poster that said Avengers Endgame World Premiere. Apparently they changed the location bc they needed a larger screening room and they didnt want tons of fans showing up, there were these girls that were waiting at the El Capitan for 2 hours before they realized something was up. Anyway, we get in line. People who were in charge told the people who stayed over night to go home bc there wasnt going to be a fan area. No one left ofc who would hell no. Then some people went on twitter to talk about it made signs it was confusing but we ended up in a fan area after going through security. We got into the fan area at 12 ish and we had to stand there for another 4 and a half hours before anything exciting happens. Now its around 4pm people are starting to arrive. (THIS IS WHEN THE ACTION STARTS) Benedict Wong then Joe Russo. Not many came all the way down the line, I was the last one on the line before it wrapped around the corner. But I did want to get barricade and able to see action so Im grateful for my spot. Then Anthony Mackie arrives he’s walking to end of the fan area around the small corner but as hes walking right as he gets near me i scream at the top of my lungs, he stops right in front of me and i go “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!ANTHONYYYYY MACKiE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!” he looks at me biggest smile. We had a whole moment together its hard to explain its kinda like a ‘you had to be there moment’ i was the longest person probably a good 20 seconds (which is a long ass time in these times when they are in a rush) he was at and while im screaming and fangirling he air grabs my head to fucking sign my forehead i closed my eyes and accepted it he didnt do it ofc but he was just a fun guy i love him soooo much he signs my posters while saying “There’s no black guy on here” (i did an original 6 themed avengers poster) but he signed than signed my bosslogic poster which he was in. paul rudd comes by hes just a rocking dude i love scott lang sm, he was so sweets v cool guys sm love for him. Then at around 5pm Chris freaking Hemsworth arrives I loose my shit and so does everyone else. Just like Joe, Benedict Wong & Anthony he also went around the corner to make sure they got all of the fans (thank u to all who did this). Ive loved Hemsie for the longest time, i did get teary eyed but i didnt cry (yet) he was just the sweetest I was able to take a crappy photo with him bc i wasnt able to function properly as i took the pic my dumbass was like “iLOvEyoUsOmUCh” its oka cause he has the cutest smile and the bluest eyes oh and i cant stress enough he smelled so good sooooo good normally i hate when guys coat themselves in cologne cause it smells bad, but his didnt, his smelled so good i was so shook like chris drop what cologne u used idc its for guys mama neeeddds. THEN IT hAPPENEd CHRISTOPHER ROBERT EVANS DRIVES BY. Everyone was like “omg is that chris evans?!”  I stand on the barricade to see if i can catch a peak, istg the moment the fucking moment he gets out the car i start to bawl my eyes out. This man who has meant more to me than anyone is over there i couldnt believe i was seeing my favorite human ever. I’ve only sobbed right as i saw my fave once before back in 2016 at the Passengers premiere when I met Jennifer Lawrence. People dont really understand the moment like this person has inspired me so much of course im going to cry and sure judge me for it but they helped me through so much. Anyway he looked soo hot in his blue suit and sunglasses. I kinda calm down bc i didnt know if he was going to come all the way down the line and yk my ass wanted a pic but he was cut half way though the people which was upsetting but again im extremely grateful to be able to see him. Then my main fucking man. Sebastian Stan arrives. see ive met the guy before last year at ace comic con (there was tea w my photo op being really messy and i hated it i got a refund u can read about that on my ace comic con post). anyway i see him. i dont cry im trying to wipe my tears i was more prepared cause ive seen him before it was gonna be ok. I lose my shit the man was wearing a baby blue pastel colored suit. fucking beautiful. iconic. very hot of you mr seb ty. hes walking down and hes getting close. he wasnt to smiley, he was taking pics but he was focused on the fans signing for as many fans as possible. He gets to me and he sees our pics then he looks u so we could take a pic and his smile just transforms you can just see his face just glow up it was the truly the cutest this ive ever experience. then we look up from the pic and hes smiling at me i tell him “I love you so much” i hear him chuckle but as he says something his security guy yells “thank you that enough” so ill be posting the vid of us and any lip readers can help a girl out ill love you forever. I ended up being Sebs last person from the fan area. he truly made my day, week fucking year. then other celebs such as jon favreau, benedict cumberbatch comes by. Jeremy Renner comes by. I shoot my shot and make small talk w Jeremy. I go “Hi Jermey how’s your day going?” he goes “I’m doing really good, how bout you?” he signs my things i excitingly tell him “I’m doing great thank you” then he goes “Thank you honey” and smiles at me. It made me really happy, i could tell he was a bit tired but Jeremy is such a sweetheart he doesnt get the credit he deserves i love him sm, ive always has a little part of my heart for Hawkeye. minutes go by. I see Lizzie Olsen, Danai Gurira, beautiful ofc. then i see fucking Mark Ruffalo hes just standing behind one of the SUVs and the sun is on him. He looked like a confused puppy it was so cute and soft, i love my ruffalo buffalo. I took my moment to scream “iS THat MARK ruFFALO?” i dont think he signed for many fans. Scarjo arrives she doesnt sign for many either she looked beautiful v pretty. a little while passes than the most bitching car comes by and stops where the cars stop until the drop off area clears and they can go. we all knew who ever was in that car he was important. then it was his time to go cause the drop off area was cleared. guess who was in the drivers seat. You guessed right. Robert Downey Jr rolling up in an Audi E-TRON, with his wife Susan Downey in the passenger seat. Truly the Tony Stark entrance. he doesnt sign for many ofc. at this time it was getting later near 6pm almost all celebs and guests are inside where the actual premiere set up is. then Vin Diesel comes in. He was the most fan based guy. even though he was running late he ran (literally speed walking) through the whole line of fans around the corner and everything. he had the biggest smile on. wearing his groot jacket. and if u dont know fast and furious are one of my fave franchises of all time so i was having the best time. then that was the last person and we started heading out. i didnt name all who ive seen since there was just to many and i probably missed some things but i loved my experience. i was able to see all the original avengers irl and that made me really happy. this whole cast means the world to me. ill love them forever 
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