#also rupaul's look so damn in point
Okay the thoughts no one asked for about BenDeLaCreme in All Stars 3
1. What a redemption arc. I mean she was excellent in her first series (Darienne Lake who?) but I don’t think Ru saw what we did.
2. Cut to AS3 That Anaconda lip sync was insane. So fucking insane. Like, we all thought Aja would win it, she’s one of those glamour queens that are selling sex appeal and had all those dance moves (unpopular opinion probably but I’m over watching drag queens do the splits. The first 100 times I gasped but like... let’s move on from that. Plus I’m old and they were doing that in gay clubs in the early 2000s nightly) Then DeLa just slayed it. Yes it was funny but it was also a nailed lip sync itself and Michelle Visage was literally leaning into Ru she was laughing so hard. DeLa killed it.
3. DeLa’s Julie Andrews. At first I was like “oh fuck why, why give her that?” but then in retrospect it’s probably because DeLa comes off as Mary Poppins on stage (saucy, sassy, Mary Poppins but MP nonetheless). Her dancing was hysterical, her lip sync was phenomenal and just everything about it screamed winner. I was not shocked she won.
4. Then the soup can thing? What a dumb ass challenge but anyways, her voice over was the best. The Michelle Visage thing was hilarious and so to the point because I’ve heard they’re both over that comparison. Even though Ru made that joke herself in the first episode I think it was when she came down the runway.
5. The bitchelor scene just proved what a fantastic talent Ben has and that creating this entirely not-DeLa persona and running with it was only proof of his ability to be versatile. When she rubbed the banana on herself and ate it again and said “Remember I ate this before” — my wife and I just died laughing. Like I could not breathe. It was so unexpected and hysterical. Ugh I LOVE DeLa’s improv (reminds me of the gif set I will be making of her interview with Jinkx and the Turkey ham pronoun thing that had Jinkx literally running off laughing)
6. The “I Kissed a Girl” lip sync. Listen, I can’t stand Shangela. Not because she’s not a good performer, she is. I think her personality is so off-putting (by the way if I heard one more game of thrones reference from her I swear I’d have hurled a bayonet through my tv screen). She constantly accused everyone of playing a game when she herself was playing a game. It was just so exhausting. Plus, it was being shady to DeLa who was genuinely struggling with having to eliminate people constantly (or even just deciding to eliminate someone). She’s never been into drama (remember how Darienne bullied her in the first season and she basically didn’t partake - yeah.) Anyways back to the lip sync. DeLa was adorable. Skipping in those heels? Also jumping in those heels? I don’t get how she hasn’t broken an ankle. But basically Ru’s mouth was open that entire performance. It was such a slay and tbh she was the better of the pair.
7. DeLa’s hair reveal runway. Also all of her runways. She was fucking stunning from head to toe. Her body shape in drag is just - my dream body shape tbh. I want it all.
8. Her talent burlesque number was hysterical but also kind of sexy weirdly? And also so different from everyone else. Though IMO Trixie should have been the other winner that week. With Kennedy as my third choice.
9. Snatch Game was a huge risk for her and she hit it out of the park and became the only contestant to win twice. That’s pretty fucking fierce considering that challenge is used to measure a Queen’s chance at taking the crown and overall talent.
10. She was going to win. She would have won. I’m so sad we didn’t get to hear her Kitty girl lyrics and watch her do the live performance. But my GOD did she make me (a nobody) proud! The drama was too much for her, it visibly upset her so much and instead of pushing it aside and clawing her way to the crown (or tbh just walking up and taking it because she basically won every single week) she chose to give the chance to the other girls. It was hugely unplanned, done in secret and done on the spur of the moment. Then she brought back the girl who literally the day before almost threw her completely off her game by coming for her. I think we can all learn that kind of selflessness and maturity it took to declare yourself a winner for your values and leave with those intact, head held high. I also heard that she didn’t want to do the final episode, or vote, but they didn’t let her leave so she had to. So what did she do?? Turn up in the damn costume from To Wong Foo, look absolutely fucking gorgeous and say fucking nothing the entire time, just applauded her sisters and gave them standing ovations.
TLDR: I came to Rupaul’s drag race 100% a Trixie fan, I discovered the absolutely next level talented Jinkx along the way and then I fell head over heels in love with BenDeLaCreme. What a fucking ride.
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if you dont mind me asking, and you really dont have to explain anything to me if u dont feel like it but i just dont see everything that goes on with the girls, but what were u referring to when you said recent stuff has left a bad taste in your mouth? i only saw criticism of jesy's fake tan which i totally get
no you’re all good! i’m on mobile rn so i don’t think i can do the read more break but I'll try (update now im on my laptop so I can do the read more break + add more than 10 photos)
the first thing is the fact that 3/4 of the girls went travelling during a worldwide pandemic which is just...................... stupidity, not just for the fact that they themselves could get sick but they could get others sick too and it’s likeeeeeee so irresponsible
perrie went to Ibiza with Alex, Friends, + their partners
leigh-anne got paid to go to Greece with Andre by a magazine at the start of August
then went to Ibiza for her friends hen do in the middle of August
and then came back to england for work (eyes on the sunrise where she had to call in from home with perrie because they had been travelling) aaaaand then went back to greece for a trip with her sisters at the end of august
& jade went to Venice with Jordan at the end of august
like just because you CAN travel during a pandemic where there have been 1.23M deaths worldwide, doesn’t necessarily mean you should. it was just all really irresponsible & tonedeaf & stupid of them, you know?
2. Recently jade did an interview with Rupaul where she said that her boyfriend “loves being q**** and feminine” and.... its inappropriate of her to use that word because it is a slur that's being slowly reclaimed but its still used as such an insult against the LGBT+ community. when mixers who are actually members of the community called her out for it and asked for an apology or a sense of remorse & newfound knowledge... in true Little Mix fashion... she just deleted the comments. when mixers reached out to their ex head dance captain & really tight friend of the girls he basically “she knows what she said and she meant it” which... does not make it any better at all.. in fact that makes it worse
reminder that she said that about her cishet boyfriend because he was in drag for a movie role...... I don't think theres ever going to be an address for this one despite how many fans express their disappointment & hurt.
3. i feel like just while we’re here we should talk about jesy’s tan.
it’s been an issue for a while and its been called out so many damn times yet nothing has changed over the years but when people would call it out the cupcakes would come in their forces and talk all that shit about how she can do what she wants with her body which is just.................. objectively no. heres the link to a really good twitter thread to read up on & it makes an excellent point that when Jesy was promoting her prestigious, professional documentary she wasn't nearly as dark as she usually is in public appearances
compared to the extreme tan she's been called out for time & time again, even in Little Mix’s latest music video (debuting on 23rd Oct 2020)
and that's not even compared to leigh
just look at these photos of jesy next to leigh in glam & not in glam
when the lady who does her tan was messaged about it- this was her response
reminder, Jesy is a WHITE woman and as of 6 Nov 2020 she still has her tags on instagram turned off so no one can tag her in anything (in the past she's just had her tags hidden so no one could see her recent tags but now they're turned off completely)
and I don't think the below needs an explanation from me on why is unacceptable but here's an article on it written by a woman of colour
there's just no.... words.
theres also the video that jesy posted to her own instagram story of her friend singing the N word & on the same night singing R- Kelly. When called out repeatedly because of it all she did was ignore it & delete her instagram comments that mentioned it. (I can't find the video of it rn but I'll reblog with it when I find it)
I genuinely like... don't support her after all this shit and all people wanted was an apology and changed behaviour but time has shown that that is just too hard for jesy to do and no matter how many times she fucks up & get called out, she doesn't learn. which is sad because as talented as she is, I personally don't feel like I want to contribute to her having a platform if all she's gonna do is be ignorant, stupid and embarrassing.
There are so many other think pieces/ threads on twitter of other problematic things they've done in their past.. ie having a whole tour aesthetic revolving around Native American culture, culture appropriation, etc.
So yeah that's what I meant by ‘bad taste in my mouth’. maybe I just am bad at separating the art from the artist but their purposeful ignorance (and you know its on purpose that they're staying silent because they still actively delete comments and their associates speak on their behalf & make it worse) is embarrassing and just reflects badly on them & really makes me not want to support the music or them.
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Dallas Winston Headcannons nobody asked for 🤷🏻♀️
Trigger warning ⚠️
A bit of nsfw in there too
Pre Tulsa, life in New York
• His mom was a drug addict and had Bipolar 1 disorder
• He has/had 4 siblings, an older brother (six years older) from his moms previous relationship, older sister (five years older) from his dads past relationship, a twin brother (who was trans ftm) and a little sister (eight years younger than him)
• He was always the one to take care of his mom during her depressive episodes when she wouldn’t leave her bed.
• She often left days-weeks at a time when she was in a manic state
• He practically raises his baby sister, she died when she was four due to cancer
• That was when he decided he hates kids cause they always reminded him of her
• he was always stealing and dealing to get his twin brother anything to help his body dismorphia and feel more comfortable in his body
• His mom often sold his body and his brother’s to her drug dealer when they couldn’t afford drugs (his dad did not know this at the time)
• his dad was actually a good dad till their mom walked out on them when he was 9, that was when he started drinking and abused Dallas because ‘you fuckin look so much like her’
• He was apart of two gangs in New York, one of which was a Drag Queen gang
• The one Queen lived beside him and always heard fighting, she took him under her wing and after his mom left they were practically the ones who raised him and his little sister
• the two older siblings and his twin left a little while after their mom did, that was when he learned you can’t trust anyone
• you bet your ass this boy dressed in drag with his queens, a master with make up, can’t change my mind
• can walk in high heels/‘stripper shoes’ like no other!
• started selling his body to strangers for money after his mom left and his dad started drinking to afford to feed his sister and himself
• His other gang was a bunch of stereotypical big mean, manly gang members
• He started dating a guy from said gang, this guy was hella abusive, controlling and manipulative. Also was twice Dal’s age
• when Dallas left New York he broke up with him and the guy beat the shit out of him and burned him with a poker ‘so you’ll never forget me’
• has some severe PTSD, also suffers from abandonment issues, anxiety, depression and Bipolar 2 disorder
• Loves him some Rupauls drag race, reminds him of his Queens and how much he misses them
• Acts so tough and mean because In New York he was tough and knew it but was always seen as the ‘little kid’ so going to Tulsa that wasn’t gonna happen again
• first people he came out to about being bi was Mr and Mrs Curtis
• they also found out he was selling his body for rent/food money and that was when they realised how much they care about him
• him and Mrs. Curtis were super close, she was the closest thing he had to a real mom.
• He is actually so soft behind the tough guy act
• cuddles? All the time
• is a total brat sub/bottom don’t @ me
• the gang found out about his Drag Queen past when he accidentally sent pony the wrong photo from his phone ‘you tell them you die!’
• he obviously blabbed
• everyone was shook.
• Johnny was amazed because ‘he’s so tough but so pretty!’
• two bit laughed but lowkey was impressed with Dallys confidence to do that
• Steve was just ‘if it makes him nicer and happier than whateva’
• you already know soda begged him to do his make up let’s ge honest
• Darrel was quiet but was also a good dad and was like ‘as long as it keeps him out of jail we will always love him’
• he was touched but also super embarrassed the gang found out about it, but was thankful they were cool with it
• gang 100% harassed him to wear drag for them Atleast once
• one day dallas brought his make up and shoes over, he did his and soda’s make up and wore his shoes and the gang was shook! ‘How can you walk in those?! So easily??’ ‘He looks prettier than half the girls at school!’
• all the support from the gang!
• Dallas actually reads a lot like pony does but doesn’t talk about it incase he gets made fun of for the books he likes
• is also really smart but plays dumb
• this boy LOVES vampires, they’re his guilty pleasure. We talking the vampire chronicles, the vampire diaries, true blood, he even liked the twilight books but will never tell a soul!
• cuddles all the time
• is very insecure and gets jealous easy
• surprisingly isn’t violent or aggressive when jealous, he’s scared if he is they will leave
• plot twist! Sylvia was actually a beard so Soc’s and other gangs wouldn’t know he’s bi
• they only said she cheated cause she was caught with another dude. The hate and hurt was all an act
• is a brat so will tease his dom in public subtly but so much
• is super clingy
• wants to be together all the time
• always needs reassurance ‘are you sure you’re still happy? Like I didn’t do anything wrong?’ ‘No, babe I love you’. ‘Oh okay, are you sure tho?’ 24/7
• always getting Johnny to stay at bucks or his dads when his dad isn’t home so Johnny is safe
• feeding this boy all the time!
• when he hears dal is a bottom Johnny is shook but surpringly into a ‘daddy’ role
• drive in dates whenever they can
• they watch the stars a lot
• when Dallas is super anxious he picks at his nails a lot and Johnny holds his hands to help him feel a bit at ease
• when Dallas is in a manic state Johnny follows him anywhere he goes. Parties, fights, anything. He just wants to make sure he doesn’t get jailed again or hurt
• Johnny highkey loves when Dallas dresses in drag ‘you’re just so confident and hot!’
• watches while Steve works on his cars, he likes seeing Steve so interested and content
• when either of them fight with their dads they drive around all night and talk. They are both quiet about feelings usually but wanna be there for each other
• hangs around the DX while Steve and soda work
• both don’t say a lot normally but are always touching each other
• when Dallas is in a depressive episode Steve will come to bucks and just lay with him for hours
• They talk about both their moms walking out on them sometimes. They both swear if they ever met these women there would be hell to pay ‘how could she abandon this beautiful person?’
• all the spooning you could ask for
• Dallas is always complimenting him. ‘You’re so pretty wtf’
• on the anniversary of sodas parents death Dallas buys him flowers and they go to their graves
• when Dallas doesn’t answer his phone Soda highkey panics ‘what if he’s hurt?! What if he’s in jail ahain?’
• Dallas always feels bad about this and tries to make it up to him
• soda is always reminding Dallas he’s not alone and he loves him
• when soda really misses his mom Dallas and him talk about some of their favourite memories with her. Soda is still sad but it makes him a little happier knowing how much she cared about him and the one he loves so much
• jokes 24/7
• when the gang isn’t around Dallas only calls him Keith or babe
• two doesn’t usually like his name but when Dallas says it he hates it a little less every time
• two bits mom wasn’t a fan of Dallas at first but after a while and gets to know him she loves him so much ‘mom I’m home’ ‘where is dallas’ ‘idk’ ‘tell him to come over I’m making his favourite dish’
• when two bit gets jealous or feels Dallas is he always puts his arm around his waist or kissing him so the person gets the hint
• twos little sister looks up to their relationship a lot and loves how happy her brother is
• two doesn’t stop drinking but slows down on it when Dallas mentions once it worries him sometimes
• Dallas and twos little sister get close really fast. Dallas is always giving her advice and one day brings her some old make up of his and she loves it!
• two doesn’t understand why dallas seems a little sad after times like these until one day dallas tells him about his little sister and how two should spend more time with her, ‘just in case something happens. I don’t want you to regret anything like I do’
• two makes a point to spend more time together the three of them after that
• they read together sometimes
• Dallas will go to literally any movie if pony is interested
• picks pony up from school everyday
• if Dallas gets arrested you know pony is lecturing him for Atleast a half hour. Dallas just sits there with heart eyes because ‘damn I missed this pain in my ass’
• dates at the Dingo are their Friday night ritual
• they both have terrible nightmares and are always cuddling and comforting eachother after
• Dallas is always saying little things to pony about his relationship with Darrel ‘I know he’s on your case all the time but it’s cause he means well’. Dallas then tells pony about his brothers and sister and how he wishes he could live with them and see them like pony can with Darrel
• pony and dar still fight sometimes after this but never in front of Dallas
• they don’t go out a lot for dates but like to watch their favourite shows together (they kick the gang out for a few hours on these nights)
• Darrel brings out the brat in Dallas 24/7 and he teases him all the time until Darrel gets to a point he just looks at him and with a deep voice ‘bedroom now’ and Dallas practically trips over his own feet running to the room
• they are not quiet either! The gang sees them go in Dar’s room and they all groan and leave ASAP
• the gang found out about them when the gang came over and heard Dallas call out ‘daddy!’ And never let him live it down ‘how’s it going daddy’s boy’ ‘I will literally kill you two bitch’
• Darrel never celebrates his birthday after his parents die and Dallas puts an end to that so fast. He goes all out, flowers, presents, sexy time. Anything he can do
• always sitting on Darrel’s lap, clinging to him, hugging. All of it. He’s just amazed and thankful he has such a strong and beautiful bf who loves him
• dar once let dallas do make up on him and Darrel borderline didn’t like how good he looked in it
• Dallas got him to experiment in drag and Darrel felt hella empowered. Now they dress up together sometimes. But dar says only Dallas is allowed to see him like that
• this makes dal feel extra special and close to dar and he loves it
• sarcastism never stops
• Tim is quiet but really protective, he can say whatever he wants about Dallas but once someone says one bad thing they best be ready to square up
• patching eachother up after fights al the time
• they be kinky bitches man!
• after a nightmare Dallas told Tim a little bit about his ex and it took dallas an hour to talk him out of going to New York to kill this man
• Dallas does strip teases for Tim in his stripper shoes on special occasions.
• Tim didn’t tease him for his make up or anything, he actually found it real pretty on him
• Tim never lets him stay at his own place or bucks after they get together.
• Tim is Demi sexual
• Dallas heard his ex was released out of prison and has a sever panic attack. Tim was right there reassuring him ‘babe I’m right here. No ones gonna hurt you’.
• dals mom comes to town and Tim got Angela and her friends to give her a ‘Tulsa greeting’. Needless to say she left as soon as she came
This was so long and horrible I’m sorry
Special thanks to @sunlitcigars for helping with some ideas and encouraging me to post these
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Loyalty - Tyler Lockwood
Summary: When Klaus’s #2 makes eyes with you, Klaus sets the two of you up. But when you encounter an issue, it’s down to you to pull through for the both of you.
Warnings: M/M smut (21+), Bareback (However Orgasm occurs once Tyler pulls out, make of that what you will), Homophobic comments, Elena and co. become villains
Inspired by: https://twitter.com/MaleThirst/status/1196818509830819841
Life had changed drastically since Klaus had found out how to make hybrids. He moved you quickly into his house & got his new army to guard you in case Elena and her friends tried to pull any punches, The Council did indeed cut you off, but the Mikaelson fortune was extended to you by Klaus & the day spent shopping with Rebekah helped you both to bond. What was the most surprising thing was that you were now spending more time with Tyler Lockwood. You expected Elena to surround a support group around him, or ask him to spy on Klaus, but she ditched him, as it had been found out that Klaus had sired Tyler, and thus Tyler was now fiercely loyal to him. It was good to have someone else to share an admiration for Klaus & on days when the Original Hybrid had to battle against Damon & Mikael, you took time with Rebekah to train the newest hybrid. It was a Friday night that you all finally got to take a break from hecticness of it all. “Don’t you usually go to the Mystic Grill on Fridays, love?” Klaus pondered as he saw you flopped down, trying to find something on Netflix. “I mean I would, but Elena and all her friends are there, and I know they’ll send me out of the bar.” Klaus could tell you were still a bit down following your exile & leaned in to give you a kiss “Y/N, You need to boost your confidence. I’ll send Rebekah to watch from afar, but also, to make them that much more pissed, tonight I’ll send you out to the Mystic Grill with Tyler as a date, make Caroline jealous.” You snorted, it did sound like a good idea but “Is Tyler up for this?” You asked, you wanted it to be his idea & not Klaus planting him there “I asked him, he said yes. He also said he has a thing for you as well, so I’ve booked you next to her hotel room where she’s staying for the night before flying out for some Miss Virginia thing, keep her up all night.” “And how would I do that?” Klaus leaned up to whisper in your ear “You know how love. Do you always do with me every night” you knew that Klaus meant to fuck Tyler and while the idea sounded good.
“I’ll let Tyler know to be ready at a quarter to 8.” Klaus smiled, dimples on show as you headed into the closet, to pick out some good clothing. In next to no time, whether it be a need to impress you or due to his newly acquired speed, Tyler was ready & waiting as he walked you down the street, hand in hand. Right behind you was Rebekah not only your escort but also giving dirty looks to those who were giving you & Tyler side eye, which was comforting to you, it was nice to know Klaus, Tyler & Rebekah at least cared about your wellbeing, even if the world around you was less than sympathetic. As you entered the Mystic Grill, you saw the majority of the building taken up for Caroline’s big title party. Rebekah positioned herself near the door as You & Tyler selected the same secluded booth that you had gone to the night You & Klaus became partners. Ordering your usual Chips & Garlic Bread, Tyler ordering the same with a massive burger, you eventually opened up the conversation. “So Klaus told me about you having a thing for me.” Tyler gave a slight grin “When did you know & why didn’t you tell me earlier?” “Well it was a while ago, after Dad died, I realised I was free from his vileness, and I was going to tell you after the funeral, but then everything with Mason and turning happened, I threw myself into what I had become instead of managing both my crush & that.” Tyler swallowed, clearly not used to letting out a lot “It’s alright Tyler, you went through a lot so quickly, I’m not angry and you had every right to work on yourself before hand.” Tyler grinned as his burger got placed on the table “Jesus Christ, That’s massive! How are you gonna get through that?!” Tyler shrugged “You know that before I was a hybrid, I played football right Y/N? I’ve always had a big appetite.” “What exactly is the appeal of football? I’ve never understood.” Tyler shot a grin at you “Y/N, tonight I’m gonnna give you a crash course.”
And indeed he did, outlining the rules of the game, his favourite team and some spectacular moments that he had achieved with Mystic Falls during his tenure as a player. Usually you’d scoff at sport talk but Tyler was so engaging in great conversation, that you didn’t mind a second, and as much as you listened to him, he listened to you discuss your likeness of musical theatre with the same enjoyment plastered on his face as you had when he talked. “Y/N, I’m having one of the best date nights ever, Little Miss Blonde over there couldn’t compare” you were about to start laughing when at that exact moment, Elena’s group came over to your table. “Well hello there” Damon said somewhat curtly “Hello Damon, I guess you’re here to intimidate us” you responded, “Now Y/N, me intimidate, never!” Damon mockingly feigned outrage “Well it’s not for the bourbon since there’s none at our table” you quipped back, Elena stepping in. “No we aren’t here to intimidate, we wanted to take a look at the man who stabbed me in the back last week, who sold us all to Klaus, who made me a blood bag, how you had the nerve to show up at our bar and stage some sort of mock date to get under Caroline’s skin”. Whilst Elena was right about trying to get Caroline riled up, she had no business questioning Tyler’s feelings for you, which made you angry, and looking over to where Tyler sat, you noticed he was gripping his fists angrily, trying bot to let an outburst emerge and ruin the night. Looking to your left, you saw Rebekah had heard what was going on and had stepped up from her table, with your own group of friends ready to back you up, you decided that you might as well strike back, wasn’t as if she could do worse “Wow Elena, your ass is jealous at the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth” Seeing Elena’s shit eating grin thinking that she had intimidated you fall was quite possibly the sight of the year, but you weren’t done, not at all “Firstly, Tyler was close to dying, so if I hadn’t said anything, he wouldn’t be here, also when was the last time any of you acknowledged me in your supernatural group of expertise? I didn’t owe you a God damn thing. And this ‘mock date?’ How would you know that Tyler’s feelings are genuine?” “Because I dated him for several months & as an ally I can tell when someone has feelings for men.” Caroline said now stepping forwards next to Elena to survey the scene. You turned to face Caroline, intending to give her the same verbal lashing as Elena “It’s about time someone told you Caroline, but having a group of Gay Friends who help you shop & quoting lines from RuPaul’s Drag Race does not make you an ally, it makes you an insufferable cunt.” A snorting laugh came from your left, and without turning, you knew that Rebekah had enjoyed your comment Now Caroline was looking like she’d been hit over the face with how red she’d turned, embarrassed she’d been called out at her party, good.
“Why would you have even gotten up with Klaus though?” Inquired Bonnie, “Yeah, what did he offer you: Money, Power, Immortality?” Jeremy seconded. “Nothing, what he did do was tell me about his loneliness & I remembered the times I felt pushed out and I thought if others could give me grace after being tossed to the side, the least I could do is return it to others.” “Oh Boo Hoo.” Damon prodded in, “Klaus is making an army without asking any of the wolves if they want in.” “How-” Tyler began angrily and Rebekah’s feet began to stomp towards the table, which Elena & Bonnie had acknowledged by the look of intimidation on their faces, however you stood up very suddenly, determined to stand your ground “How’s Vicki? Did you make sure she wanted to be immortal? You know, after you gave her your blood & snapped her neck.” An uncomfortable silence filled that section of the bar. “Bonnie, how is carrying Anna’s death going? You know the woman your current squeeze was dating? How were all the vampires minding their own business going before you tripped up the device & caused so much disaster, that almost caused Jeremy to die? Wasn’t that because all vampires were the same?, a pity story after your Grams passed, yet you stand with Damon and have the audacity to lunge after me. And you two” Y/N pointed at Elena & Jeremy, “You two are cut from the same cloth. Jeremy you knew about Bonnie tripping up the device, killing Anna & yet you two are dating and Elena you complain about Klaus needing your blood for something so little as turning which is somehow so bad, yet when Katherine didn’t open her legs to welcome Damon, he snapped your brothers neck, yet you forgave him somehow. I’m not saying you can’t forgive him, but if you’re going to let Damon’s miniature things go, then you need to let Klaus’s go. I’m aware that Klaus isn’t the picture perfect idea of humanity you all want, but you keep excusing the darkness in your own supernatural partners, not to mention yourselves, so you have some nerve isolating me like I’m the only one lavishing in it. Stay the fuck away from me.” You grabbed Tyler’s hand and marched out of the Mystic Grill. “Nice work-“ Rebekah began, but in your angry mood, you marched right past her with Tyler in tow. “Rude” she muttered under her breath as she reached for her phone to tip off Klaus that whilst you’d blown her off, you finally grew a backbone.
You walked several streets in a huff before stopping to breathe, at that point, Tyler hugged you. “T-Tyler, are you alright?” You questioned, “Yeah, it’s just that you could see me getting angry and you stood up for me instead. You were so scared of being confronted by them, but you stood your ground to their faces. You may not have faced down a vampire or a wolf, but you Y/N are the bravest out of us all.” You smiled “Thanks Tyler” he leaned in & kissed you. You took a moment to let Tyler endulge before you began to kiss back, running your hands down Tyler’s back before you were slammed into the lamppost. Whilst you wanted Tyler, you didn’t want to be written up for public sex, so you broke the kiss “Let’s get back to Klaus’s and continue this there.” “But what about antagonising Caroline?” Tyler questioned, but you had your answer ready “I think we’ve antagonised her enough, besides she’d probably rub herself to your moans and shit, I don’t want to give her the satisfaction.” Tyler let a cold smirk cross his face, he knew you wanted to be fucked hard, and that’s what he planned to do. Deciding to test out Tyler’s compelling skills on a homeless person, you gave him the room Klaus had booked out & you both made your way back to The Mikaelson Compound. It was empty, so you & Tyler could fuck as loud as you could, so he sped you up to your room and as the door closed, Tyler slammed you up against it, kissing you passionately, the same as he did on the street, however this time, your clothes were removed with vampire speed. Standing there naked, Tyler took in your nude form with a twinkle in his eyes, you blushed slightly which made Tyler smile “You’re cute when you’re flustered Y/N.” Tyler commented and with that he began to undress as well, intending to take time so you could see the goodies under his clothes.
As he removed his shirt, Tyler pulled you in for a kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth as he deepened it. You began to feel around his shirtlessness, tweaking at his nipples which make the newly turned hybrid moan in your ear, the sound like molten gold to you. Suddenly you were thrown with all of Tyler’s might onto the bed, Tyler made sure you were looking up as he disposed of his pants and underwear in one go, his cock standing proud and hard. He began to walk towards you, cockily flaunting all the while “You want this dick don’t you Y/N?”, you nodded, but that didn’t appease the hybrid who sped towards you and gripped you by the neck, softly yet dominant “Talk to me Y/N, do you want me to fuck you all night?, have you crying my name as I make you cum from my stroke? Answer me.” He spoke the last part cooly as he playfully tightened his grip on your throat, making you feel a bit light headed “Yes Tyler, please fuck me as hard as you can.” You moaned out, making him laugh “As hard as I can? God this is gonna be good.” He laid his hand out, spitting onto it before stroking his hard member, coating it with the makeshift lube all the while looking at you all sprawled out, naked for him, and while he tried to maintain his cockiness, you could see from the ripples of pleasure on his face. Once he had lathered himself up enough, Tyler didn’t waste anymore time and used his newly acquired speed to to thrust deep into your ass, making you cry out at the sting. “Fuck, shit, your tighter than Caroline.” Tyler moaned out, you couldn’t even form words from how big he was and how he was stretching you out so right, all that came out was a mewling cry, which the hybrid smirked at. Rocking his cock deeper inside your tight canal, he began a passionate pace, looking down into your eyes as he fucked you deep so he could see how you crumbled apart for him, how desperate you were to take his dick. He locked you in another kiss again, moaning into it as you trailed your hands down his back, until he slammed in balls deep, colliding head first with your prostate, you cried out & instictively tightened your grip, sinking your fingers into Tyler. “Sink it in pretty boy, scratch down my back till you draw blood while I fuck you the way Vicki & Caroline could never handle, but you can, you fucking slut.”
The rough dirty talk emerged a desire in you to meet Tyler’s challenge head on. You dug in harder as Tyler cried out from the mix of pain and pleasure, all thoughts of Caroline and the confrontation gone, all you both wanted to do was chase down your orgasms. Your fingers began to feel a bit moist and you took them away from Tyler’s back to see you’d got him deep that there was blood dripping “Taste it” Tyler panted in your ear “Taste me Y/N, I know you want to.” With Tyler’s encouragement, you locked eyes with him drew your tongue across your fingers, tasting Tyler’s blood. You moaned out from his taste, knowing it would incense him into fucking you rougher and indeed, Tyler began to rock into you so hard that the bed began to slam into the wall with every thrust. ”God, this is amazing, keep this up and I’ll cum for you Y/N.” “Do it Tyler, cum.” Once again Tyler squeezed your neck “I’m the hybrid here baby, you’re the human, I control you, I won’t cum till you cum apart from my dick.” Tyler’s words were accompanied by a sharp thrust deep inside you, well and truly smashing into your prostate, the driving force combined with his words was what it took for you to reach your peak and crying out Tyler’s name, you came in spurts over yourself. “Fuck, that’s hot, seeing you cum for me. You want to taste me again?” You nodded and began to move your hands to Tyler’s back again, intending to leave new marks, but instead you were met by Tyler’s full force as he slammed your hands to the bed. Groaning and spluttering out of ecstasy, his body also rippling with the same energy, Tyler pulled out and with a few simple strokes let out a loud moan as he came all over you, splattering you with even more hot cum.
As he calmed down, Tyler wiped his hand in his load, covering his fingers with the sticky white substance and held it up to your mouth “Taste it” he said again, reminiscent of when he wanted you to drink his blood, except this time, there was a more erotic tone to his voice, he wanted all of his essence inside you. Never losing eye contact with the Lockwood, you licked across your hand, taking in his salty sweet seed, even sucking it off your fingers while moaning which made Tyler grin “Fuck, if people only knew how perfect you are.” He breathed out “I do” came a distinctive british voice that could only mean... “Klaus!” you both exclaimed as you looked over to see the hybrid standing in the doorway, watching you both with a smirk on his face “I thought you were at the hotel making Caroline sulk.” “No, you should have seen though, Y/N pretty much tore them all a new one” “I don’t doubt that, Rebekah texted me and told me about it. She also told me you’d left without talking to her.” He eyed you closely “I was in an angry mood” you tried to explain, but Klaus held his hand up to silence you and you obeyed his command. “I have to say nice technique Tyler, you wanted Y/N to take his fill you of you and that you did. But now I want you to step back” With the sire bond in affect, Tyler took several steps away from the bed, Klaus grinning at his power as he walked towards you and to your excitement began to strip his clothing off “You’re going to watch as I now fuck Y/N, cause while you know how to fuck, you don’t have a thousand years of experience to you. You can masturbate to us if you want, as long as you cum once we have.” Klaus stopped at the foot of the bed, Tyler nodding as he fisted his hardening length “Good. Now love” he turned his gaze to you “Tyler’s got you ready for me, like a good sweet progeny, ready for another hybrid cock inside you.” He palmed at himself and nodding, you threw yourself back on the bed, spreading your legs. Oh yes, this was the life.
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The RuCrap: Season 13 episode 2!
Holler at me I know you know me! Holler at me I know you know me! Episode 2 of the RuCrap has arrived! Once again please help out a writer in the pandemic by sharing & following! Enjoy!
We crawl back into RuPaul’s tangled web of elimination fuckery where we left off in Porkchop’s Loading Deck with the dejected Denali, Tamisha Iman, Joey Jay, Rosé, Kahmora Hall, Utica, and Elliott with 2 T’s who must now begrudgingly vote to put one of these complete strangers out of her misery! It’s a tie between wide-eyed carpool mom Elliott and neon sock puppet Utica and Ru bellows over the PA like the evil middle school principal that she is to inform her pupils that they must now vote between the two super-losers. Ultimately Elliott with 2 T’s becomes Elliott with 2 eliminations and it’s the final heartless slap of a drawn out and unreasonably brutal elimination even for Lord Ru’s medieval standards but we’re 13 years into this big gay carnival of trauma and Stockholm Syndrome is in full effect so let’s quickly move on, sympathize with our captors, and for God’s sake never return to Porkchop’s haunted She Shed ever again!
It’s day 2 and our previous winners GottMik, Lala Ri, Symone, Olivia Lux, Kandy Muse, and Tina Burner burst into the Werk Room none the wiser of the fate of the fallen and are greeted by Ru who wastes no time shaking things up by announcing that a new queen will be joining them and before the girls can even process... in walks Elliott with two T’s! Yes that’s right! After a full episode of push and pull with the drag poltergeist our poor Carol Anne is spit back into the competition covered in ectoplasm, her weary eyes now holding the unfathomable secrets of the other side, and once again we’ve taken the scenic route on one of RuPaul’s notorious twists that brought us right back to square one! But what would this winding shaggy dog joke of a premiere wrench be without our evil mastermind shoe-horning in a sappy life lesson? Ru momentarily softens to take us down memory lane and celebrate first-eliminated queens who went on to become superstars and explains that the moral of the fairy tale is “Don’t let anyone make you feel like a loser” which is ironic coming straight from the diabolical puppet master who determined Elliott a loser last week and then sent her to a small storage crate backstage to be called a loser two more times by her fellow competitors. It’s like Mike Tyson popping into Evander Holyfield’s dressing room after their fight to tell him that he could learn a thing or two about not feeling like he just had his ear bitten off. I haven’t been this confused by the manipulative rationale of an egomaniac since Shangela tried to justify going on vacation to Puerto Vallarta in a pandemic to sell $10 scented hand sanitizers in hotel lobbies. Ru tells our newly revamped winner’s circle to prepare to hit the runway to showcase a ladylike daytime look and a whorish campy nighttime look and like that they’re off!
Our models gussy up at the makeup stations and resident shit-stirrers Re-Tina George and Kandy Weiners greet Elliott with folded arms, bizarrely speculating about her intentions in returning (um... because RuPaul told her to?) and calling her “Elliott the Spy” (oh Golly) as if they aren’t all just prey in RuPaul’s Most Dangerous Game. Lest we forget that Elliott has cheated death twice already and instead of letting their poking rile her up she plays on Kandy’s paranoia. When Kandy expresses her excitement in finally being a Ru girl like her sisters, Elliott bluntly notes that historically queens related to past contestants haven’t faired well in the competition. Instantly frustrated by this valid counter-point, Kandy grumbles under her breath at the audacity of someone challenging her advanced wit and bless us all because a rivalry has begun!
We head to the blackbox runway for America’s Next Top Trauma where Ty-Ru Banks, Jan-chelle Dicken-sage, and Nigel Matthews are perched awaiting this year’s installment of the world’s tiniest fashion show which serves as much of a OMG-Yas-Queen showcase of fashion excellence as it does an ominous warning of what fashion storylines we’ll be bludgeoned over the head with. The trends this season are Olivia Lux’s Polly Pocket purses and whether we like it or not Tina the Heat Miser is going to is going to be dressed in a combination of orange, red, and yellow until every last VH1 viewer has fully gotten the pun in her name, taste be damned. As for the rest of our fashion darlings — GottMik and Symone are unpredictable couture shape-shifters who ace the showcase, confident Kandy shows that audacity is her strong suit, Elliott does decently but plays it safe, and Lala borders on mall fashion show.
Ru informs the queens they’ll be penning verses for and performing her catchphrase conduit Condragulations. Professional dancer Elliott proves her worth by stepping forward to save an otherwise unproductive rehearsal but things grind to a halt when it’s time to choreograph GottMik’s verse which begins “GottMik - was born a girl baby!” Mik (who later clarifies that she/her/hers pronouns are to be used in the drag context and he/him/his otherwise) instantly freezes and tells us in confessional that she hasn’t told her transition story to the group and didn’t consider the fact that this proclamation would be blaring loudly on the runway before she had the chance. The moment is clearly visceral for the usually unshakable Mik but the preoccupied group is mostly unaware and is more concerned as to why the now distracted Mik is unable to learn the routine.
It’s challenge day and the queens begin painting! Mik comes out as trans to a comforting Olivia while camera hogs Kandy and Tina continue to go full Red Scare on Elliott who they believe was sent back into the competition to spy on them... whatever that could possibly mean. When the topic turns to the competition almost everyone identifies the already well-established Mik as their biggest threat and I would have to agree.
We hit the Main Stage where director/ choreographer Jamal Sims joins the judges in an outfit that suggests he also moonlights as a matador. Condragulations goes off mostly without a snag and Lala, Tina, Kandy, and Elliott deliver the most confident verses, Olivia steals the fashion spotlight once again, and Kandy fumbles the choreography. The runway theme is Lamé You Stay and the judges favor Mik, Olivia, Symone, and Tina but still praise Lala, Kandy, and Elliott for an overall impressive week and Ru announces that Olivia and Symone are the top two and no one is in the bottom. They deliver synchronized, playful versions of Break My Heart by Dula Peep but it’s Symone who snatches the $5,000 tip making her our first big winner of the season!
That brings us to the end once again with a full cast but that can only mean one thing... poltergeist is getting that much hungrier! Next week our exiled queens from Pork Chop Island will return for their own premiere! Share the RuCrap if you enjoy and I’ll see you on the other side of the TV, Carol Anne!
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Gigi Goode Imagine
Pairings: Gigi Goode (Samuel Steven Geggie) x fem!reader
Warnings: smut, slight spitting kink, mild language, him calling you “hun” a lot because I 100% think he would, fluff, NO CORONAVIRUS
Word Count: 3,898 (wow this is the longest smut I've ever written and I’m going to hell for this)
Notes: So I got this idea because I absolutely adore Gigi, but also the *spoiler alert* part about the livestream and comments made actually happened to me during her Instagram livestream on March 15, 2020 🧡
‼All events before and after the livestream are works of fiction‼
You didn't realize that it would get to this point. It all started off as a bit of a laugh with a joking comment, but now here you were in a darkened room, the only light filtering in was that of the moon through the open window... the cool breeze of the L.A night not doing much to dissipate the heat that radiated off your body. Though your mind could hardly focus on your surroundings, all it could hone in on was the way the beautiful glow of moonlight cascaded upon the face of the man hovering above you. And let me tell ya, he was definitely a man, and a stunning one for that matter. Due to the proximity of his body above yours you could feel a similar heat radiating off of his now bare chest as it was poised just a breath away from touching your own. His heat matched yours in intensity, and it was one you knew couldn't be sated by the gentle breeze blowing into the small bedroom of his L.A. apartment.
The soft luminescence of the moon lit up only half his face, causing his naturally sharpened features to appear softer, all while casting the other half into the shadows. He looked good. Like really good. You couldn't help but want this, whatever this was. Even though you knew that these were the sorts of thoughts that got you into the strange predicament in the first place, you still wanted this. But as you stared up at the man above you, chests almost touching and lips close enough for your ragged breaths to mix and mingle with his own laboured ones, you couldn't help but to think back on what got you here in the first place...
March 15, 2020
Scrolling through Instagram was the only thing you found that was able to distract you from the boredom that was set deep within your bones. It was 11pm for you, but the 473mL can of RedBull you had casually drunk throughout the day prevented you from finding solitude in any sort of rest. Casually looking through your suggested posts you couldn't help but to stop your thumb mid-scroll as a picture caught your eye. It was a post of a woman dressed in a hot pink sweater dress with tiny coloured bows on the bodice, but when you clicked the image your eyes caught the name of the page almost immediately.
'rupaulsdragrace' displayed in the top left corner
Looking back at the picture and analyzing it, you confirmed that it was indeed a drag queen. You actually loved Rupaul's Dragrace, finding it entertaining and comical, but due to you being a University student your bank account didn't allow you to have cable... hell, you were even consistently too broke to have netflix. So unfortunately for you, eating was more of a priority than the show was. They must've started a new season, you thought, as you decided to swipe through the pictures within the post. Your attention was soon caught on one of the last pictures, a queen wearing head to toe orange, but not just any regular orange fabric... it was buttons. She was wearing thousands of orange buttons. The look was gorgeous, making you somewhat jealous. Jealous of the fact that the natural born man was able to pull off the short blazer dress and thigh high boots better than you could ever dream for yourself.
This lasting impression the queen had made on you made you curious. So as soon as you noticed the picture was tagged you jumped on the chance. Gigi Goode, you noted the name... it was cute. As soon as the profile loaded you noticed the little profile icon flash with the word 'live' underneath it, and since your curiosity was already peaked you thought there was no harm in checking out who this queen was live in action. So you clicked it. Let me say firsthand that you were not prepared for what you saw. The man sitting there was conducting casual conversation with the commenting viewers, but damn, was he hot. Not just average hot either. The guy put both Scarlett Envy and Kameron Michael's to shame.
You were almost entranced by his calm yet precise way of speaking, absorbing yourself into the almost one sided conversation he was having with those watching. As he continued to blend a peacock blue eyeshadow into his crease you couldn't help but to send your own comment in the hope's that he would at least see it. "I'm jealous that you're a prettier woman than I am." You wrote, half joking yet half serious. To your surprise the beautiful man almost immediately read it out, a sort of chuckle in his voice all the while before saying "Honey, your assigned gender doesn't make you any less of a beautiful woman." You were impressed by his response. It had a double entendre, but both meanings rang true.
You liked Gigi, you liked Gigi a lot.
It wasn't long after this that it appeared that a second queen from the same season joined the livestream... Nicky Doll was her name, and through her thick French accent you could hear the genuinity in her voice. You could tell that this one was a secret sweetheart. As the two of them conversed within the video you found yourself more and more drawn to Miss Gigi Goode, and you weren't 100% sure what the reasoning behind that could be. Unfortunately for you, almost as if your hands themselves had a mind of their own they tapped away at your phone screen before clicking send. It took a moment to register what you had just done, quickly looking to the comments to see what you had wrote... your heart immediately started racing even though you couldn't help but to laugh at your somewhat twisted sense of humour. Well shit, eh?
"Gigi could spit on me and I would still be happy" you soon heard spoken in a thick accent through your screen, causing your face to unwillingly start to heat up as your comment was read aloud. You were surprised to say the least. "Ah! Y/N!" Nicky said, courtesy of your Instagram name display, "you can't say that, her mom is listening." Fuck, you internally cursed. You really had to go and make yourself seem weird to begin with, but in front of his mom too? That was somewhat mortifying. "Yeah, my mom is watching but..." Gigi trailed off while coyly cocking her head to the side, winking at the camera, before quickly saying "Call me!" You almost couldn't register the shock as you finally put together what he had just said. Wow... just wow. Was it wrong to feel a bit giddy over this? After all, this was the first time you've even acknowledged the drag queen herself. But the warm feeling that coursed throughout your body disagreed with your brain, and you felt a wide grin disrupt your features.
Silently chuckling to yourself you decided that this was probably enough Gigi for one day, not wanting to risk saying something else that was equally as stupid no matter how funny the comment may be otherwise. So you quickly exited out of the livestream bringing you back to her profile. A small smile now graced your lips as you stared at it for a split second before you pressed the follow button, definately wanting to see more of this queen in the future. But boy, were you not prepared for what was to come.
March 16, 2020
Waking up the next morning you only felt slightly groggier than usual as you tried to rub the sleep out of your weary eyes. Like any young person your age, the young ripe one of 21, you grabbed your phone to check your notifications before you even left the comfort of your mattress. While checking Instagram you noticed that you had a message, rolling your eyes at the thought that one of your friends sent you some sort of meme so early in the morning, you clicked the icon... only it wasn't from your friend.
'Message Request: 1' it said, making your brows furrow in confusion.
With a somewhat hesitant hand you tapped it to open the request, hoping to high heaven's that it wasn't some sort of creep wanting to be your sugar daddy, send nudes, or both. However, that wasn't the case at all. Staring back at you was the profile icon of Gigi Goode. You were surprised to say the least, but you were definitely intrigued more than anything. Which was precisely why you opened the message and quickly pressed 'accept' before even looking to see what she had written first.
"You said I could spit on you and you'd still be happy... was that an offer?" it said, ending with an emoji of two eyes, followed by a secondary message saying "I'm too impatient to wait for you to 'call me' haha"
You almost couldn't believe it, you were so shocked, but you decided that you didn't want to miss such a golden opportunity. Well, whatever that "golden opportunity" may be. Typing out your response took almost no time at all, but you made sure to read it over a few times before sending it, not wanting to sound stupid once again. As you finally clicked send, you couldn't stop the smile that crept it's way onto your lips, eagerly awaiting what would come next.
"It could be anything you want it to be, Miss Goode." Your message read, and you were quite proud at the fact that it sounded straightforward yet coy all in one.
It took almost a full day before Gigi responded back to you "Good(e), I was hoping you'd say that" with a winking emoji following it.
From then on you and Gigi, who you now refer to as Sam, had messaged and facetimed each other on a daily basis. The two of you talked about anything and everything; cats, makeup, drag, school, the existence of extraterrestrial life... everything. To say that you were enjoying his company would be an understatement.
That's how you ended up here in L.A. with Sam. He ended up inviting you out visit him in the warm weather of L.A. because you had been complaining about how cold it had been in Toronto during this time of year, and of course, you agreed. The urge to finally meet him in person was the driving force of your decision, the warm weather was just an added bonus. When you got to California he was waiting for you, and man was it amazing to finally be face to face with each other. He was a lot taller than you expected, but his large and lanky stature was very fitting.
Sam showed you all around the city telling you everything there was to know about it, well based on how long he himself has been living there. Unsurprisingly you were having such a good time with Sam, talking and laughing, singing and car dancing... it was honestly the most fun you've had in a long time since you were constantly stressed by school.
By the time night rolled around you were both so absorbed in conversation about fashion that he ended up inviting you to his apartment to show you his drag clothes. You were impressed, very impressed. His work clothes were definitely much nice than any of your regular clothes, and he and his mom made them. The conversation didn't stop there though. It lead to a plethora of other frivolous topics that ended up being in combination with some mixed drinks the two of you concocted making the most delicious sangrias. The mess you both made in his small kitchen would have to be saved for another time.
The alcohol soon got to the both of you and, well, as cliche as it was, one thing definitely did lead to another.
That's how you ended up here. In Sam's bed. With his toned body above yours. Now you weren't complaining, but the alcohol induced fuzziness in your brain made things a bit harder to comprehend as you gazed up at him.
"Sam..." you whispered, the unspoken question in your words was emphasized by your nose purposely nudging his. He didn't need any more incentive than that to crash his lips back onto your awaiting ones. The kiss was sloppy in your intoxicated state but neither of you minded as the heat from your bodies increased. Your tongues soon intertwined with his, not battling for dominance but working in tandem to the enjoyment you both felt. As the kiss got deeper and deeper, much more rushed than before, you felt Sam's slender fingers creep up under the hem of your shirt to caress the bare skin of your stomach and sides. It felt good... it felt right.
Pushing the older boy from you slightly, causing his lips to slowly make their way across your jaw and onto you bare neck, in order to make quick work of peeling your shirt off of your heated body. When your bra was on display to the waiting man's brown eyes you could see the hue of them darken in the light of the moon. Sam latched his lips back onto your sensitive neck, this time sucking and biting bright purple bruises onto the delicate skin, while his hands made their way to grope over your bra clad chest.
"Off" he growled as he pulled on the fabric, never removing his lips from your neck. A chuckle escape your lips at his impatience before reaching back and unclipping the material. It wasn't so much as a moment later that the item was ripped from you body and thrown across the room. Sam's hands on your chest this time elicited a moan from you, one that you knew he heard when you felt his lips quirk up against your neck.
"Sam... please" the breathlessness to your voice caused by the plethora of feelings that the man caused you. You didn't know exactly what you were begging for, or what you wanted him to specifically do, but what you did know is that you wanted him. He seemed to pick up on that, because no sooner had the words left your mouth was his out mouth trailing sucking kisses across your collarbones, between the valley of your breasts, and down your stomach. Hip lips stopped at the top of your jeans. You looked down at him through half lidded eyes, your senses only somewhat getting the better of you. When you eyes locked on his you noticed a smirk creep it's way onto his face before he slowly started to unbutton your pants. When he got them open he slowly dragged them along with your underwear down your legs, with a little help from your raising your hips off the bed slightly. Once they were off you feel naked to his eyes, well you were naked but the feeling of being bare in front of him was a whole different story.
As he leaned back onto the heels of his feet and stared down at your body you noticed his shoulders start to tense up, and he closed his eyes with a shaky breath. You were worried that he didn't like what he saw, and the anxiety you felt already increase tenfold. After a what felt like hours of laying there in the same position, your hands nervously clenching and unclenching the sheets beneath you, you were ready to just cover yourself up and hid away... but that's when you noticed it. Sam's hand had reached up and he started to palm himself through his pants, eyes still closed, but his breathing had gotten heavier. Just laying there and watching him grope himself turned you on a lot more than what you had ever expected, and you couldn't pull your eyes away.
Soon enough he opened his eyes, dark with lust, "You're so hot, baby." He said, voice slightly breathless as he leaned over you, locking his lips with yours once more in a slow and sensual kiss. As your hands went up and tangled themselves in his thick and silky brown locks, you felt him slowly trail his down your body and against your bare thigh. The sensations were painstakingly sensual even if you hated how much it was a tease. But then you felt it. Sam's fingers gently brushed against mound, the feeling causing you to involuntarily gasp. The feeling was so light you almost thought your intoxicated and aroused state had imagined it... but then he did it again. This time however he did more. His slender fingers went straight to your clit and started making quick and precise circles on the little bundle of nerves. The moan that came you caused Sam to smirk before once again placing open mouthed kisses across your neck.
Succumbing to the feelings that coursed through you, you lay there in perfect bliss as Sam's lips trailed down your body. This time he didn't stop. A moan left your lips again but this time it was when the brunette man's lips replaced his fingers against your clit. Propping yourself up onto your elbows you watched him, head between your legs and mouth suctions to your sensitive bundle... it almost drove you into sensory overload. As if feeling your gaze on him Sam looked up and once again locked his eyes with yours as he swirled and flicked his tongue against your clit, eliciting another moan from you. The feeling of him pulling back from you made you whine slightly at the lose of contact. "You said that you'd still be happy even if I spit on you." He said once he'd pulled away from you, "How's this, hun?" He asked as he leaned over slightly and dribbled his spit right onto your awaiting pussy, and you could feel it drip down and mix with your own arousal. You honestly thought that his teasing would be the death of you.
"Sam, please... just fuck me already!" You begged impatiently, words slurring slightly with your intoxication. "Hun, I thought you'd never ask." The shit eating grin on his face proved his words otherwise, what a little shit, but you were too turned in to care. Especially as you watched him shimmy his black skinny jeans down his slender legs.
When his body came back and hovered over your body, you felt his warmth once again radiate of of his body and mingle with the heat of your own. You couldn't help but to buck your hips up into his as you felt his cock above the place you wanted him most. When your hips met his you both let out elongated moans, the friction alone causing pleasure to course through each of you. Sam then started to rock his length against you, wetting his cock with the slickness between your folds. The anticipation for this moment was almost too much to bare. Soon enough he reached down and aligned his cock with your entrance, the feeling already shockwaves of pleasure. Then he pushed in, all the way until his hips were flush against yours. The slight stretch feeling better than you could have ever imagined. Raking your nails against his unusually broad back you couldn't stop yourself from bucking your hips up against his, "Move" you breathed out, wanting nothing more that to feel the gentle friction of him moving inside of you. He didn't need to be asked twice before he started to move, pulling out almost all the way before precisely snapping his hips back in. You've never felt so full in your life, the way this man moved sending your mind into a tizzy. The mix of both your moans in the room only added to the pleasure you both felt, knowing that you were turn each other on only sent each of you into a higher state of arousal.
It wasn't long before you felt that familiar heated coil build up in your lower abdomen, a tell tale sign that you were getting closer to your end. Lacing your fingers through his hair you couldn't help but to pull, perhaps a bit too roughly, as you yoh spoke between your heavy breaths and moans "I'm close" you said while involuntarily clench around his member, eliciting a deep moan from the man above you. After a few ragged breaths and deep thrusts he said "Me too" before lowering his face into the crook of your neck, placing sloppy kisses over the skin. The coil within you got hotter and hotter, tighter and tighter. What finally sent you over the edge was Sam reaching down and making quick work at your clit, rubbing fast and rough circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves. That was it for you, your orgasm burst through your body sending a mixture of guttural moans and high pitched whines from your mouth. Sam followed soon after when your spastic clenching made him hit his own peak. He rode out both of your high, hips lazily still thrusting until he was too tired to continue and just collapsed onto of you.
After a moment of just silently laying there trying to regain your composure, your hands lightly playing with his hair while his gently rubbed up and down your sides. When he finally pulled out you felt the ooze start to drip out of you. The thought only mildly disgusted you, hidden behind your enjoyment for what just happened. You couldn't help but to lay there feeling completely wrecked until Sam spoke up "Here" he said as he picked up a random piece if clothing of the floor, before he slowly started to wipe away the mess between your thighs. Your heart warmed at his actions, his kindness emanating off of him. "Thanks" you said, your voice just barely above a whisper.
When Sam finished cleaning you he quickly slid on a pair of boxers before bringing you one of his shirts to wear, helping you slip it on before laying down next to you. As the two of you cuddled up in each others arms a thought soon came to your mind making you gasp and pull away from him. Confused, and on the verge of exhaustion, Sam spoke up "Y/N, what's wrong?"
"You're gay, and we just fucked." You said in disbelief, you honestly couldn't believe that this just happened. Sam let out a chuckle as he grabbed you and pulled you back into his chest, "I'm gay for everyone else, but not for you... I wouldn't have spit on your pussy otherwise." You gasped loudly as you lightly his his chest, causing his chest to rumble beneath you with a laugh.
Although the circumstances for this all was strange, you couldn't help but to be grateful to having met Sam. No matter where this crazy situation lead you in the future, you were at least happy to be in his life... no matter which way that would be. As your minded started to grow weary due to exhaustion the thought of 'I could really love this man' danced in your mind before you drifted off to sleep, Sam's heartbeat against your ear acting as the soft lullaby you needed.
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Okay first of all, massive spoiler warning!!
Snaaaaaaatch gaaaaaaame!!! I love snatch game. It's such a good opportunity to shine, and be hilarious, and show us what you can do! It's also the challenge queens have the most time to prepare for, so it's always interesting to see who actually comes prepared...
Also, the runway this week was incredible! I think it's been the best week so far for runway looks, so many of them were sooooo stunning! Who knew that a Frozen theme would bring out the best of the season so far??
Okay, let's get into the breakdown.
1. Aiden Zhane
Oh my god. I am so so so so so so so so glad to see Aiden finally fucking LEEEEEEAVE. It's been a journey guys, but we got here. I am so excited not to have to see that little black wig anymore. Honestly, there was nothing good about her performance this week. I was actually really excited to see someone do Patricia Quinn, it's cool seeing people do references that I hadn't even thought of and salute older parts of LGBTQ history. The reality, though, made me want to jump off a building. It was sooo cringy and sad. There was nothing Patricia about it, she didn't even bother doing the accent. How are you gonna stand in the work room and say "oh I know her, I had lunch with her" and deliver a performance like that?? And also, every question she was just like "I don't even know where I am am!" And it's like... dementia isn't funny. It was just hard to watch.
Her runway was, I think, the best she's ever looked. The wig was still shaky af, but her makeup was really pretty, and her padding was really good. The dress was lovely, but it wasn't very...creative. It was just a blue dress, and the yeti concept was only done from the neck up. It kind of felt like she went to the competition with just the dress, then she saw what everyone else was putting on and was like "oh damn I've got to make a concept out of this somehow!"
Also that lipsync though... it was like watching Vivienne Pinay and Honey Mahogany again, let's just say that.
Tl;dr: she deserved to go, and I'm glad to see her go.
Brita, Brita, Brita. Still bitter af. All she does is talk shit on other people and like...maybe if you stayed in your lane and focused on what you were doing, you wouldn't be in the bottom all the time? Just a thought. Shes another one where it felt like she just didn't do enough research on her character. It's so disappointing, and kinda inexcusable - you know what's coming, you have so much time to prepare and you still don't bother? I don't care for that kind of attitude. Also if she mentions that she won Entertainer of the Year one more time I'm gonna lose my mind. I don't care that you won it! Show me why you won it! Show me why you deserve to win this! I just haven't seen anything from Brita that I've enjoyed. I'm disappointed and underwhelmed.
Her look on the runway was also a bit underwhelming, it was a pretty gown, but it was almost and exact copy of Eureka's glitter look. That comparison has been made already, but it's true. We've seen it, why would you bring a copy of a gown from just 2 seasons ago? Underwhelming.
Her lipsync was also not that good, but she was against Aiden, so of course she won. Excited to see her go next week though!
3. Crystal Methyd
Whew, Crystal was a rollercoaster this week! Poppy was a really tough choice. I didn't know who she was at all, but I looked up a few videos of her after the episode and now I get what Crystal was going for. She actually did a fairly good job of what she was going for, but it just wasn't the right character for snatch game. We all know RuPaul has very simple humour, anything big, slapstick, edgy, all that stuff. The humour Crystal was going for could have been really funny (if I knew more about Poppy, that's on me), but RuPaul was never going to get it. And also, she was trying to do a robotic character like 2 seats down from Gigi, who was also doing a robotic character and killing it, so that's an extra level of difficulty.
Having said all of that. Crystal. Was the best. On. The. Runway. That outfit was incredible! And her makeup was so stunning! And the hair was perfect with it! She absolutely killed that runway, and I was gagged by it. Crystal has turned out so many looks, and I Love It. That runway 100% saved her from the bottom 2 and I could not be happier about it. So proud of her.
One other thing though, I am so bored of the El DeBarge thing. Move on, Ru. Crystal is far far more than a mullet.
4. Gigi Goode
Gigi is an absolute powerhouse this season. Her choice to play a robot was bold, but I live a queen with confidence. And she was confident, she knew what she was doing, she did her research, and she killed the snatch game. I'm so proud of her. One thing I will say, I swear they called the robot Maria, but I thought that human looking AI robot was called Sophia? Maybe there was a copyright issue. Anyway, her performance was so hilarious! The struggling with the cards, the calling everyone a bitch, the mispronouniation of vagina, I loved it all. She came with references, she came prepared, and I stan.
Her look was really great, but I almost feel like it was a little repetitive? I don't know, I just feel like I wasn't surprised by it. It was cute, it was perfectly fitted, there were really gorgeous little details about it, but it was the shape and style I expected from her. Maybe it's because she's set the bar so high leading up to this point, I was just a bit "meh" with her look this week.
She still fully deserved to win, and she did a fantastic job this week.
4. Heidi N Closet
Heidi also did a good job this week. Her Leslie Jones was a safe performance, she made me laugh, she had the look down, I was not at all mad at it. Was it perfect? No. Was it good? Absolutely. I enjoyed it. I'm glad she didn't do Phaedra Parkes. I really don't enjoy when Ru tries to change their characters in the walk through. They've brought information, and references, and preparation (most of them); and you want them to throw all that away and do someone else just because you think so? No. I will grant that sometimes Ru points them in the right direction when they're choosing between 2 characters - but I don't like when he just pulls a character out of nowhere for them.
Heidi's look was also really great; she was giving me 2018 Met Gala Rihanna but in Winter. Her makeup was stunning, she looked so pretty. The only thing I didn't love was the shoes. I kind of wish she'd just gone for a white or silver pump. The fur was too much for me.
Good week for Heidi, definitely a safe performance, I'm glad for her.
5. Jacki Cox
Jackie 👏 came 👏 prepared 👏 I have never watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I was only vaguely aware of Lisa Rinna nefore the snatch game, but I still found her performance so funny! She looked just like her, she sold me who Lisa Rinna was really quickly, so I was able to laugh at the rest of her jokes. I didn't specifically know Lisa Rinna, but we all know a woman like that, so I could still get the humour. I might not have caught all the references, but it was still funny. That's how you play snatch game. You need to be able to make people laugh even if they don't know who you're actually portraying. I absolutely loved Jackie this week.
Her runway look was also stunning! I loved the snowflake, I loved her makeup, and I adored her hair. Jackie is so good at serving something so different every week but still sticking to her brand and her signature. I love Jackie.
6. Jaida Essence Hall
Jaida's Cardi B was really good! She looked just like her, sounded just like her, had her humour down... absolutely solid performance from Jaida.
Her look this week was also soooo beautiful! She's such am absolutely stunning queen, her makeup skills are incredible, she knows her body, she knows what suits her, and she rocks it every week.
The only thing for me with Jaida is I feel almost a little...disconnected from her. I just don't feel like I've seen the vulnerability from her like we've seen from Heidi, or Jackie. And that doesn't mean I want her to tell some horrific story from childhood, I just mean that when we see her she's always on, yknow? And I get that it's a tv show, and a competition show at that; I just wish we could see her humanity a little bit. Having said that, I totally get that queens of colour (and particularly black queens) get so much hatred from the drag race fandom, and I completely understand that it would be difficult to open up and be vulnerable after seeing what other black queens have been through during and after the show.
Nevertheless, she is utterly incredible and so deserving of a top spot. She's a real contender for winner of season 12.
I love Jan. I love her so much. Shes so excited to be there, she's working so hard, and I appreciate it so much. Her Bernadette Peters was not great. Or maybe it was, I have no idea who she is. And she didn't sell me, like Jackie did. It was kind of a shame. I feel like Jan has the talent to have done almost anyone, and she just picked someone that I feel like took too much explaining. Still a solid performance - for me she was on a level with Heidi. Solid performance, solid runway, good week.
I did like Jan's runway look more than Heidi's though, I loved the concept. Jan is another one who has pulled out something very different every week, but still stays distinctly Jan. I love her makeup as well! Jan doesn't get enough recognition for her makeup skills, she's really talented, she paints beautiful faces, and is not afraid to get artistic and high fashion.
8. Widow Von Du
I love Widow so much, but everything she did this week was just slightly off. I thought her Ike & Tina performance was actually a bit of a shame, I think she focused too much on having a gimmick that her performance suffered. The thing about switching characters in snatch game is that both characters have to be really good (and equally good), otherwise it just feels a little messy. Her performances just weren't quite there this week. I wish she'd just picked one and spent a little more time perfecting it.
Her runway also wasn't quite there. I loved the concept, she did something so different from everyone else, and I love when queens pull off a standout look. Her makeup and the ice on her face was also incredible, she honestly has the most beautiful face. I just wish that dress had hit the floor. I wish the skirt had been a little more full (maybe more petticoats?), and it had hit the floor. Widow does have this awful habit of wearing ugly shoes - and if the gowns hit the floor it just wouldn't matter. It was a shame.
Still a solid week and a decent performance, don't get me wrong; I just keep wishing for her to really pull it out and succeed, and she's just slightly missing the mark for me at the moment.
Okay, now I'm gonna say something kind of controversial about this season; I wish Jan, Jackie, and Widow weren't on it. I wish they were on next season. I'm saying that because I think they're all so incredible, and I think they all could potentially win a season - if they weren't on with Gigi Goode and Sh***y P**. Gigi has been so unstoppable, and I love her, but she's kind of overpowering, and I really want to see someone other than her (or Sh***y P**) win a challenge. I mean, it's no secret that Sh***y P** was pre selected to be top 4, and this season has been geared towards her, so of course she's been winning challenges. It just has almost become like a 2 person competition, and it's a shame! Because there's so many other queens who deserve wins, and deserve recognition, and they're not getting it because the top 2 is like always those 2. I'm not mad at Gigi, bc she's slaying the competition and she's working really hard; I just feel like there's been seasons where Jackie, Jan, or Widow would have absolutely killed it and won, but this season they're just not getting the recognition they deserve. Just my opinion!
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[created by: vyvyan86]
What is the thing that makes you take a survey?
I just need a good set of random questions. <<< Yeah. If the first few questions grab my interest enough and it looks like I haven’t taken it before or at least not recently then I’ll want to take it. I also like them to be at least 20 questions.
Have you ever had an alcoholic beverage?
Do you ever feel like you just HAVE to sing out loud?
If it’s one of my favorite songs then I likely will sing along.
Have you ever watched RuPaul's Drag Race? If yes, what makes it enjoyable?
Do you own a TV? If so, what do you watch on it?
Yes. I watch several TV shows. I also watch various shows and movies through streaming services on it.
Do you have Netflix/ViaPlay/other similar online channel?
I have Netflix and several other streaming services.
Have you ever watched Nostalgia Critic or Nostalgia Chick?
What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten?
I’ve tried some of those gross Jelly Belly flavors like grass and dog food. Blechhhhh.
What would be your most ideal profession?
I don’t know. :/
What kind of rides do you enjoy the most at amusement parks?
A lot of the rides at Disneyland.
Have you tried those coloring books for adults?
I have several of those.
What is a topic you definitely don't want to talk about with anyone?
I avoid politics and controversial topics.
Someone is about to take your picture. How do you react?
Like ew, no, and put up my hand.
Do you frequent any "funny pictures" site? If so, which one?
No, I just come across memes on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and Pinterest.
"In touch with nature". How do you interpret that phrase?
Someone who enjoys doing outdoorsy things. Definitely not me.
Do you wash your dishes by hand or do you have a dishwasher?
We rinse them off first and then run them through the dishwasher.
Which scent of fabric softener do you like the best?
I use the one with the Snuggle bear on the front. <<<
Do you ever get a chance to stay home alone? If not, why not?
Yeah, sometimes, for like a few hours. It’s just how my family’s schedules are.
Are you/have you ever been engaged? If not, would you like to be one day?
I’ve never been engaged. I don’t see it happening for me.
Are you/have you ever been married? If not, would you like to be one day?
Nope. I don’t see that happening.
What makes a person ugly?
A shitty personality more than anything.
What is the craziest hairstyle and color you've had?
Red was the “craziest” I’ve ever done. It was a bold move for me when I did it for the first time, but it became very normal and now I can’t picture myself not having red hair.
What was the last book you read?
I’m reading, “Autumn’s Rage” by Mary Stone.
Is there a book that you are currently reading?
Do you prefer an actual book or ebooks? Why?
I’ve been doing majority of my reading, apart from the Bible studies I’ve participated in, via the Kindle app. I have access to countless amounts of books and it’s just a lot more convenient for me.
What was your first gaming console?
Do you have any siblings? If so, how close are you?
I have two brothers. My younger brother and I are really close.
Is there something you're eagerly waiting for? What is it?
Do you/have you ever belonged to an organization? If so, which one?
I was a Girl Scout.
What is something you're very passionate about?
I haven’t felt passionate in a long time. :/
Is there something you'd like to change about yourself?
I’d like to change a lot of things.
Have you ever had a sunburn? Where on your body was it?
Yes. Most often it was my shoulders and arms, but I’ve been sunburned on my nose and cheeks. My hands, too.
Do you have or would you like to have a tattoo? If so, where?
I don’t have any, but I’ve wanted one for several years. I just don’t see myself ever actually getting one.
What are you studying or what was the last thing you studied?
I majored in and got my BA in psych.
What was the last present you gave someone?
I got my brother a Wandavision shirt for his birthday a couple weeks ago because it’s one of his favorite shows at the moment.
Do you enjoy plays? If so, what was the latest one you saw?
I last saw The Phantom of the Opera a few years ago.
Can you hear your neighbors through the walls?
We can sometimes hear if they shut a door or drawer loudly in their bathroom or the shower. We live in a duplex, so we’re connected.
Have you ever had something custom made?
Have you ever had a serious injury?
I’d say the one that made me a paraplegic was pretty serious.
What was the last thing you achieved?
Graduating college, I guess. I just have a hard time seeing even that as an achievement cause I feel like I’ve completely wasted it. I haven’t done a damn thing since graduating 6 years ago and I don’t even want to pursue psychology anymore, the field I got the BA in. I have no idea what I want to do. :/
What is something you would like to achieve at some point in your life?
Getting my shit together and doing something with my life.
Would you enjoy being famous?
Nooo, absolutely not.
Which country would you least like to visit?
Do you collect anything?
Giraffe stuffed animals and knicknacks, things from some of the other interests I have like Baby Yoda stuff, and key chains.
What's under your bed?
What is something you've been meaning to get done but haven't yet?
Get my shit together. :/
Do you enjoy travelling?
Do you listen to entire discographies of bands or just a few songs?
Sometimes, but a lot of the time I check out a few songs. Or I’ll skim through the album.
What's the last thing you've made with your hands?
Hmm. I don’t recall.
On a daily basis, do you prefer to go by car or by bicycle? Why?
Car, definitely. I don’t ride a bike and don’t want to walk anywhere.
Do you know your ancestry?
I’ve been really wanting to do one of those ancestry tests, like 23 and Me or something.
Which hair color would you never want to have?
I’m fine with just having my red hair.
Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it?
I was in clubs in school. I was especially active in the psych club I was a member of and then a board member of in community college.
What has been the most beautiful place you've visited?
A few beach and mountainous places in California.
What is something that makes you sad?
I’m a sad, sleepy, sensitive soul as I like to say.
Do you like hats?
What shape was the last funnily shaped cloud you saw?
I don’t recall. I haven’t done any cloud watching in a very long time.
What is your most prized possession?
All my things, really. I have a hard time parting with and getting rid of things.
A famous chef is going to cook for you. Who is it and what do they cook?
Hm. I don’t know who, someone who can make me boneless wings like Wingstop, ha.
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Ive finished watching eleven seasons of rupauls drag race and now feel I am ready to briefly review each season
S1: A good start though it must be said, ONGINA WAS ROBBED! Also there was favoritism.
S2: Not a bad season but at least somewhat ruined by Rupauls rather overt favoritism towards Tyra and dislike of Pandora. While I didnt like Tyra on the show his callout of the entire drag community after leaving drag has given me massive respect for him and feels like karma for RuPauls rather blatant self promotion and attempts to turn himself into some kind of rolemodel. But aside from the callout and Jujube, and Pandora the season is unmemorable.
S3: The top three were all highly skilled and the winner seemed to deserve it though that was later put into doubt after it came to light that Raja had worked with RuPaul before the show aired, and lets be honest Manilla Luzon was much more talented.
S4: One of the best seasons in drag race history, has the best music video, and Sharron Needles is hands down the most influential and versatile queen in drag race history. The only bad part, aside from the editing against phi phi, is Latrice Royal, who, and I feel this needs to be said, wouldnt have been in the top four had Willam stayed, and certainly wouldnt have made top five if Alaska had been allowed to join, mostly because she kept showing a similar outfit, her not being a particularly good actor, being thrown off really easily, and quickly relying on a shtick.
S5: Good season, but I feel that Roxxxy really did end up in the top three only because Visage and Ru love drama and the Jersey Shore look that was at the time Roxxxy Andrews trademark look, and the Coco Alyssa drama was really dull, neither deserved to be as high as ended up, and ultimately both queens are unmemorable.
S6: Not a bad season but i'm not a fan of Courtney Act or miss Lake, mostly because I think they both get away with looks that really they shouldnt have gotten away with, though arguable so did Bendelacreme. Though it was nice that there wasnt any drama, and Bianca del Rio is really funny.
S7: Ive tried to come up with words to describe this season, I cant, its just that bad. No not bad just dull, really dull and awkward, and the worst part is that its not the queens who drag the season down, the queens themselves are fine and Pearl stands out as being a particularly interresting person when not on drag race, its RuPaul being a tool off camera and coming up with challenges that play to the queens weaknesses rather strengths.
S8: Unfortunately I found Bob the Drag Queen so attractive out of drag that I stopped caring about what he looked like in drag with the end result being that I have no idea if hes a good drag queen. But ignoring the moments where I was drooling over Bob it was a good season with some truly great outfits,and a good Snatch Game, that wether for good or bad did very quickly become the Bob the drag queen and Kim Chi show, making it in hindsight the second most plann
S9: The season started off with an appearance by Lady Gaga , whose reviews of the outfits consisted of little more than name dropping and not much else, unintentionally setting the tone for a dull and awkward season with a cheerleading challenge that causes one person to crack a rib and another to almost permanently lose their ability to dance, a Reality Star Rusical that is well just dull, painfully bad lipsinks, uninterresting outfits, and perhaps the blandest wierd drag queen in the history of the competition. Its also in this season that introduced the lipsink for the crown format that I personally despise as it takes the power away from the viewers and puts it back in Rupauls hand.
S10: Solid season, mostly focused on returning contestant Eureka but the other contestants are given enough focus that it feels natural. The challenges are interresting to watch, the snatchgame is funny, and the dresses are well made. The top four are all stars in their right and the winner of that season could have easily been any of them, making this the only season where a lipsink for the crown made sense.
S11: Starts off strong with people like Miss Vanjie, Brooke Lynne Hytes, Nina West and Yvie Oddly revealing a high degree of skill both as actors and as dress makers. Unfortunately the blatant favoritism of Rupaul, the judges, and the producers towards Silky Nutmeg Ganache (honestly they seem like a nice person in real life, but on the show they just seem like a tool), unimaginative challenges, distracting and irritating cameos by former drag race contestants including by Bianca whos dull and unentertaining appearance shows exactly why contestants shouldnt return at all, a rusical so god cringeworthy you'll pray for death (Trump the Rusical), the worst snatch game in drag race history, and painfully predictable twists result in a terrible season, with the only interresting things being the romance between Vanjie and Brooke (they broke up four months after the last episode before the reunion due to conflicting schedules), Miss Vanjie being well himself, Nina Wests acting, and Yvie Oddly's outfits .
S12: Havent seen it, but lets be honest this season is the one where the star is a sex offender. By now many fans have analysed the season and its become clear that the person who was intended to be the focal point and possible winner was Sherry Pie, which means that editing them out for very well known reasons also makes them the focal point just in a different way than intended. Hell it wouldnt surprise me if this season becomes known as the one with Sherry Pie, not the one where the winner won. Though it might also be the last season that RuPauls on, as there are rumors that hes stopping with drag race.
The Christmass Special: To short for a christmass special, to much like the other episodes to be special, to blatantly commercial to be Christmass, and to scripted, even by drag race standards, to be drag race.
And now for a review of the Judges themselves
RuPaul: On the outside a warm, outspoken, well meaning person whose done things which are truly groundbreaking. But beneath that warm exterior beats the stone cold heart of a businessman. He's calculating, manipulative, greedy, has no qualms about setting queens up for failure, and ultimately hasnt done much that could be seen as groundbreaking. Perhaps the worst part is that its clear that in terms of humor , mentality and fashion hes never left the 70s, which combined with his callous way of treating the enviroment (as shown by his fracking empire) and his history of transpobia, makes him a liability to the show. Even if you manage to ignore all of that, the show is ultimately about the drag queens, not about Rupaul, and Rupauls attemps to make it about him really drag the show down
Michelle Visage: Shes a mother of two teenagers with a stay at home husband pretending to be a bitchy whore on a tv show about drag queens, yeah thats her career. Now in truth thats not the biggest issue, the biggest issue is that shes got hangups and makes the same jokes over over again and that after being on the show for ten years she hasnt developed as a judge so the routine, to paphrase miss Visage herself, has been done to death. In truth the show needs something other than the same damn shtick and same damn comments all the time, and if she cant do it then she should quite so someone else can do it for her. Ok maybe thats the second biggest issue, the biggest is that she kisses RuPaul's ass untill it shines brighter than a mirror.
Valentino Rice: Good judge, and had great chemistry with the other judges.
Ross Mathews: Cute guy, wierdly charming, and interacts well with the others.
Carson Kressley: He comes across as a very tired, very frail, very gay but very very very dull ninety year old man, which makes sense given the fact that his entire career is based on being gay, and hes, well old. Ok hes not really old, hes 50, but on camera he looks and acts closer to 150. And the issue isnt that hes gay, its that hes doing a shtick, a very dull and fairly offensive shtick. Possibly the worst choice for a judge, and the show jumps in quality whenever hes not there.
Now for a few things that just bug me.
Favoritism: Unfortunately one of the biggest issues of the show is that seasons tend to be structured around Queens who are intended to be the winner, or at least the hero, from the get go, which has the advantage of allowing the creators of the show to change the structure and challenges from season to season, but also makes it hard to watch if the season is blatant in its favoritism, if the intended winner isnt that good, or if the winner gets eliminated for one reason or another.
Cameos by former contestants: Cameos are a great way to get people to say "I know that person" which is great in a tv show because you know that the cast wont change in the next episode, but not great in a competition where all it does is take away screentime from competitors and giving it to competitors who most likely did not do well enough to win in their own drag race, and even if they did, the show is not about them, but about the current contestants. As such if Ru wants them to return he should put them in All Stars.
Cameos by celebrities: Add nothing. Its drag race not the red carpet, i'm watching for the up and coming drag queens not famous people trying to boost their careers.
Adding politics to the show: No, just no. Dont do things like Trump the Rusical, dont have steven colbert do a voiceover, theres no way that can go well and it comes accross as virtue signaling. If Ru wants to do something good he should double the prize money and have half of the money go to a charity of the winners choosing, or stop fracking.
Adding politics outside of the Show: Drag queens are celebrities and entertainers, as such are constantly in the public eye and dependent on being in it for their income which means that anything they say in public, wether its gossiping, or discussing politics, needs to be viewed as being some form of self promotion. Now this might make things difficult for them, but it is a well known part of being an entertainer so it can be assumed that they were well aware of this before they joined Drag Race. If they do want to talk about politics without being viewed as self promoting, they are free to make an anonymous account on one of the many sites, like tumblr, where its assumed that no one knows who the other people are.
Family Friendly Drag: Lets be honest its men shoving their cocks up their own asses while dressing up as women, and naking refferences to sex, for the sake of entertainment. Thers nothing family friendly about it. Nor should there be as part of the appeal of drag is that its something that is restricted to adults. Likewise they arent heroes, they are entertainers, not doctors, not construction workers, entertainers no more worthy of praise then a person on a sitcom.
Drama outside of Drag Race: While drama on the show is to be expected and is part of what makes it entertaining, drama outside of the show is different its more personal and something that in truth should not be shared. However by presenting it as gossip on various shows they are saying its part of the show, which is unhealthy at best.
While I am critising the Drag Race, I am not doing it because I dislike the show, I am infact a big fan of the show but at the same time I want to get my thoughts out there see how others view these topics.
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I grew up in what I thought was a normal house and maybe it was. But after self exploration and my wife and some shows helping me to see how I’ve been broken over the years, I’m seeing what I experienced probably wasn’t normal. I’m journaling as a form of free therapy.
My first memory was from daycare when I was 3. I remember watching Rugrats, one of my favorite shows when I was little, and another kid came up from behind me and pushed me over. I fell forward. This seems like a good analogy for my life. I’m standing there minding my own business and an external force comes and messes that up. That’s probably normal to think you did nothing wrong when you actually did do something wrong and you just don’t know what it was yet.
I grew up with my mom and dad, older brother, and a house full of plants and animals. My mom and dad met in college and were at least in love at first. By the time I can remember anything about them, all I can remember is hatred for each other. That’s probably normal. They did sleep in the same bed when I was young but then I remember my dad moving to the couch and then eventually another room because of his snoring, from what I could gather. I rarely remember them either saying they loved each other or kissing. My mom would tell me she loved me all the time and my dad would do it if prompted. My mom would also tell me all the time that she was divorcing my dad as soon as I graduated high school. I was around 7 when I first remember her saying this to me. Imagine hearing almost all your life that your parents hated each other and that your mom wanted to leave. I can imagine a lot of parents have the same feelings for each other as mine did but it felt kinda crazy that my mom would dump this on a first grader. I didn’t know what to do with it. As far as I remember I just said ok like it was normal. What else do you say to that?
My dad was there but not really. I was supposed to be a girl and so was my older brother actually. Can you imagine not feeling wanted but the guy is there everyday to give you that vibe? I was nothing like him in his eyes. I don’t look like him (thank god) but I’m tall and built like him. I got his damn crazy eyebrows which are a painful reminder we’re related. I was into cars and it took me a while to get into football which was one of his passions. We didn’t watch them together. I hated him almost my whole life and I felt the same from him. He saw me as a competitor for my mom’s attention and acted like a child. Other family members saw this like my wonderful great aunt who was basically my grandmother.
She was the only one who I saw frequently and gave me that kind of love. She was such a wonderful and loving figure in my life and always made me feel like I was so special and a joy to be around. It was never a chore to drive the couple hours to go see her a few times a year. She died a few years ago on Mother’s Day of all days. It took me a long time to delete the last voicemail I had from her which was her calling me to wish me happy birthday.
My brother was almost a decade older than me and was the troublesome older child. He paved the way for me to not get in trouble but I was also nothing like him growing up so my mom saw no reason to put the same kind of rules on me that they needed with him. At times he served this kind of hybrid brother and dad taking me to football and baseball games. We always had kind of a weird relationship and I remember my mom telling me that some psychologist said that we were essentially only children. I don’t know where she heard that but she doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to take her kids to therapy.
So to recapture all that’s happened so far. I have a dad who doesn’t really want me and makes it pretty well known and he also competes with his own son for attention, a mom who dumps too much on her own son and is a bit much with the attention at times, and a brother who doesn’t even really register as a brother, but sometimes as a father.
Put that together with someone who was tall and big and I never really grew up defending myself, so guess what I don’t do? Yup, I let people walk all over me and use a lot of patience even though my wife says I shouldn’t because people don’t deserve it. Imagine that episode of SpongeBob where Plankton teaches him to stand up for himself. I’m SB and my wife is Plankton. Another kid’s show character I identify with is Steven Universe. In SU Future there’s an episode where he tells the gems they think he’s some great person who got better and he’s only gotten worse and he’s a fraud and a monster. I cried because of how real that felt to me. My wife thinks I’m like him because he’s wonderful and does nice things for people all the time and I see the comparison in that I’m silly and don’t think things through and mess things up and make things worse trying to fix them.
I feel like such an imposter all the time. I’m a husband, father, and I have a PhD. None of these feel real to me and though I hear from others, especially my wife, that I’m great, I’m not. She says I’m a great husband but I fuck up all the time and I try to do better but I’m a shit listener and it infuriates her. Simple things I just cannot do it seems. As a dad I do stuff for my daughter. I change diapers all the time and do bath time by myself sometimes. But I feel like I’m not there enough for her in other ways when she needs me. I’m really good at doing the stupid stuff that doesn’t matter a whole lot but I feel like if I’m called up to the plate I strike out. I have a PhD but I barely have any publications and do so little I feel like a failure. I just got hired to this big director job doing some cool things in a few months and I pulled the wool over there eyes. I have some good ideas but they’ll see I am a fraud soon and I worry what will happen then.
These kinds of thoughts lead me to suicidal thoughts. They mainly stem from the fact I don’t love myself. My wife and I watch RuPauls Dragrace and the end of the show always ends with RuPaul asking if you can’t love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else and I don’t love myself but I love my wife and daughter and our pets so much. I remember driving home from work once and I was at a red light and I had a thought for how to deal with some students and I thought hey that’s a good idea, it might work. Then I thought no it won’t, it’s a stupid idea and you’re an idiot. Then I thought what is it like to love yourself and I cried. I’ve also had the thought of killing myself so I can get rid of my own debt and my wife and daughter can live off the insurance money. She doesn’t want me to and I get that but it seemed like a good idea for a time. Now it’s not so much of a pay out and not as worth it. Sometimes I’ll be driving along and I just get the urge to drive off the road and crash into a tree. Don’t know if that’s normal or not.
I didn’t mention my mom, dad, or brother in that list of people I love so much and that’s also the reason I didn’t say family. They were toxic and I cut them off for my daughter’s sake but I’m seeing some benefits myself. Right after my daughter was born my parents invited themselves (this was a point of contention) to come see her. I didn’t really want them to come but they did. We got into a fight because my daughter was weeks old and we weren’t leaving the house but for essentials. They wanted to take my car out (they flew in) and go get food even though I told them we weren’t leaving the house and I got food for them. They didn’t care about seeing my daughter at all and complained that I was helping her and my wife who had a rough recovery and they didn’t come all the way down to not see me. (?!?!) That blew up and they said they wanted nothing to do with my daughter and it would be a cold day in hell before they came to see me again. It was okay for me because I only ever talked to them on the phone on Sundays and I dreaded that call. It was freeing once we were sure they were gone. They flew out two days after the fight when they found a hotel and left. My wife almost had a nervous breakdown from dealing with them and the stress of a new baby so I was relieved when she ate for the first time in four days.
My brother was kind of caught in the middle and I felt bad for him but he took their side so I ended our relationship too. I have essentially no blood relatives who want to talk to me. That’s fine. Family isn’t just blood to me. I have some amazing best friends who take their places. One who is also a new father and I’ve know for over 15 years is a brother to me. Another who I’ve known for over 5 years and is another brother to me. Although I did only learn he was gay a few years ago. He hid it because he’s afraid of people knowing and holding that against him for jobs. Even though it’s academia and PhDs who are more liberal, it’s the south and it scares him. I feel so bad for him. He’s such an amazing guy and I love his fiancé. It’s funny because my wife said she could leave me for him if I treated her bad because he does love her but guess what, that plan won’t work. I might also kinda look like his fiancé but that’s beside the point. Surround yourself with people who make your life easier, not harder.
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I’ll start with isak/even, but also, what are your other ships?
who hogs the duvet: isak. for sure. whenever we saw him wake up the boy had the covers tucked around him, now this could be because 1. even tucked him in cause he wanted him to be comfy, or 2. isak gets cold easily and just pulls all the blankets towards himself and wraps himself up like a burrito. even doesn’t mind really, cause isak just presses himself up against him and keeps him warm.
who texts/rings to check how their day is going: at first, it’s even who will text him throughout the day more often, but eventually isak starts doing it more often as well and usually messages even first, just asking him what time he’ll be home, what they’re having for dinner, ‘can you hurry up even im horny’ and shit like that, but usually he just asks him how he is and tells him he loves him. but even is the one to send him pictures of shit that reminds him of isak.
who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: even is more creative, as in he’ll find weird and new things and even make shit for isak, but isak also knows what to get for presents, like he just remembers the shit the person has mentioned before and gets them that
who gets up first in the morning: even for sure. isak likes to sleep in for as long as possible, and really even loves it too, even if he’s awake he’ll stay in bed, just holding isak and making sure he’s sleeping peacefully, but eventually he’ll just have to get up and do shit.
writing the rest under this cause boy oh boy this got long
who suggests new things in bed: even, even, even. isak is a bit too shy about it at first so he wont suggest anything, but even will. as they’re making out, he’ll just go ‘wanna try something new?’ and isak would just nod numbly cause like he’s so fucking turned on, even can do whatever he wants to him honestly. but eventually isak brings shit up as well, but its still mostly even.
who cries at movies: i mean, we all know this right?? but even does cry often at movies cause ‘look at the cinematography isak!! its so beautiful’ and also he doesnt give a fuck, if he wants to cry at a movie, he’ll cry. but isak also cries but he acts like he isn’t, he gets all grumpy and frowns and wipes his cheeks all the while saying ‘im not fucking crying even’
who gives unprompted massages: even. isak gets stressed easily and his body is tense all the damn time so even will often just rub his back or his shoulders and get isak to relax his muscles and calm down.
who fusses over the other when they’re sick: both of them really, but mostly isak, he just tries to make sure even has everything until even tells him to go to school and that he’ll be fine and not to worry, but isak still worries and stays home for as long as possible. when isak is sick, even has to persuade him to let him take care of him, he just cuddles him a lot until isak stops being stubborn and just melts against his body.
who gets jealous easiest: isak gets jealous cause he worries that even will leave him and that he’s not enough, plus even is a really nice person and his kindness can get misinterpreted as flirting, so isak will often see the other person just looking up at even with fucking stars in their eyes and he’ll just go up to him and press himself against his body and whisper in his ear ‘can we please go home, i need you’ and obviously even will do so right away. while even gets like possessive, isak is kind of oblivious so if anyone hits on him he’ll have no idea, and even would be seething as he watches this guy get closer and closer to isak until even just walked up to them and wrapped an arm around isak’s waist, arching a brow in the guys direction and silently telling him to fuck off.
who has the most embarrassing taste in music: i mean, we all know its even, i dont need to elaborate on this right? he just listens to anything and everything, he doesn’t give a fuck.
who collects something unusual: hm hm hm, i dont feel like either one of them would collect anything unusual. they dont seem like the type. bUT maybe isak would like collect sand from all the beaches he’s went to with even? and he’d be real sentimental and keep like the receipts from restaurants they go to and all that. but i dont think they’d actually collect anything random.
who takes the longest to get ready: isak. the fact that he just rarely wants to go anywhere and wants to stay in and cuddle just makes him take fucking ages. just slow, languid movements around the flat, throwing the clothes around and complaining ‘evy i have nothing to weaaaar’ but even is just like ‘isak i love you so much but if you dont hurry up i’ll kick your cute lil ass’
who is the most tidy and organised: isak isak isak. he just wants their flat to look nice cause he never had a place of his own and now that he has, he wants it to feel and look like a home
who gets most excited about the holidays: even, he fucking loves that shit, gets in the holiday spirit and all. isak didn’t really celebrate anything much while growing up, and then he started disliking Christmas cause his dad left around that time and he was just going through a lot, so he absolutely hates it. but even still tries to make sure isak has nice holidays.
who is the big spoon/little spoon: usually isak is little spoon, he just loves the feeling of even’s arms around him (plus if he wants to he can press his ass against even’s dick ‘by accident’), but sometimes they switch, usually when even is depressed.
who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: honestly, both of them. they both love to win, but isak probably. he’ll play lil tricks on even to distract him so that he can win, just call him daddy or some shit in the middle of it to make even glance towards him. he’s just a little shit honestly.
who starts the most arguments: um, they dont really argue that much, they tend to talk things out, but id say that even maybe? like his insecurities will sometimes come through and he’ll snap at isak and tell him to leave or something. but they dont really argue that much.
who suggests that they buy a pet: even. isak is against it at first but even keeps showing him photos of kittens or puppies and eventually isak is like ‘fine whatever but you’re taking care of it’ and then when they finally get the pet, he loves them and hugs them and wakes up early to take them for a walk and shit.
what couple traditions they have: you cannot tell me that they dont go swimming together, especially on the anniversary of their first kiss. they also go on a trip somewhere every summer, either to a different country or something or they go on a road trip (someone write evak on a road trip pls).
what tv shows they watch together: rupauls drag race. fight me. they sort of get into it at some point and then they just keep watching and they argue over who’s going to win and who has the best looks.
what other couple they hang out with: jonas/mikael, mikael/adam, eskild/his bf whoever it is, eva/noora.
how they spend time together as a couple: they’re together all the time honestly, they try to go out on a date every week or every other week, just go to the movies or to get some food or something. but usually they just chill at home, cuddling, making out, having sex, watching movies cuddled up on the couch, or they cook for each other while laughing and dancing in the kitchen, or they just play some music and slow dance in the middle of the living room.
who made the first move: even, obviously, we all know this.
who brings flowers home: even, for sure. he’s just the romantic type to do that shit, and isak will like roll his eyes but he’s blushing so hard and smiling and he puts them in a vase straight away as even walks up behind him and wraps his arms around isak’s waist, kissing his blushy cheek.
who is the best cook: even, but listen, i think isak can cook, he’s just lazy. like my boy took care of himself the majority of his life, of course he can cook, he’d just rather not.
thank you for asking, this was fun!! and i dont mind what ship you send hehe i feel like i could do this about anyone.
send a ship and i’ll answer these questions
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a couples of cash fic!
ok so i wrote this in a script format bcs i thought itd get a little repetitive the regular way, its also why i only did half the questions lol
(The Couples for Cashintro plays, the camera cuts to Vanessa first)
Vanessa: Hey,what’s good y’all? This is Vanessa Vanjie Mateo from seasons ten and eleven ofRuPaul’s Drag Race. Lately I have been touring, you know, being a good workhorse and shit. (pauses) Can I swear?Alright. Anyway! Y’all already know my boo, we met on the show, broke up, gotback together, yadda yadda yadda. They all know this already! Cut to BrookeLynn.
Brooke Lynn: Hi,my name is Brooke Lynn Hytes. I was the runner-up on season eleven of RuPaul’s DragRace. I am from Canada, but I have very recently moved to Los Angeles for work…andto live with my boyfriend. (laughs) Ihaven’t actually announced that publicly yet!
Vanessa: Yeah, Brookemoved in like…two weeks ago. You know, it’s very fresh, it’s a new thing. Butwe’re good with it. Like, we been touring together and shit, we know each other’shabits like, intimately. I don’t even mean that in a sexy way, we just know toodamn much about each other.
Brooke Lynn: Ithink like, Vanjie and I were sort of meant to be together. It didn’t work thefirst time, but now it’s legit, it’s for real.
Vanessa: Webalance each other out. I’m good at getting his guard down and having himcommunicate better, and he keeps me grounded. Cause I tend to romanny- romanta-romanticingize- I don’t stay realistic all the time.
Brooke Lynn: Wejust get each other, I think we’re gonna do really well in this.
(The first question:Who takes longer to get into drag?)
Vanessa: (holds up a sign that says ‘me’) Causelisten, like, it takes time to look this good.
Brooke Lynn: (holding up a sign that says ‘Vanjie’) Isaid you, not because you take long, but because I go really fast.
Vanessa: Yeah, I’llstill be having my face cooking and he’s just like ‘okay I’m done’.
Brooke Lynn: Hey,we’re off to a good start!
(The second question:Who would die first in a horror movie? Their signs go up at the same time.Vanessa’s says ‘Brooke’ and Brooke Lynn’s says ‘me’)
Brooke Lynn: Myreasoning is that I think Vanjie would kill the bad guy at the end, just like,Vanjie him into submission.
Vanessa: (laughing) What the fuck is thatsupposed to mean?
Brooke Lynn: Ithink after he kills me, you’d go off on him and he’d be really scared!
Vanessa: I justpicked you ‘cause you’re white and would be the one to go into the damn hauntedhouse or whatever while I’m getting the hell out of there.
(The third question:Which part of your body do you find the sexiest?)
Brooke Lynn: Iwould say my legs – I’ve got long dancer’s legs I’m very proud of.
(Vanessa proudly holdsup his sign that says ‘legs’ and in smaller writing ‘not toes’)
Brooke Lynn: Oh,fuck off! (he shoves him playfully)
Vanessa: Don’t bemad at the truth, boo! (he clears histhroat and sits upright) I would say…my ass…or my lips…
Brooke Lynn: (holding up his sign) I said ass! We aredoing so well at this.
(The fourth question:What is your biggest pet peeve about the other person?)
Brooke Lynn: Iwould say…he hates my snoring. One time he recorded it and played it back to meto prove a point.
Vanessa: …Okayyes, I did say ‘snoring’ (he holds up thesign), but you have got to let that go. Anyway, Brooke hates how messy Iam. He gets all over my ass about it.
Brooke Lynn: (holds up his sign that says ‘slob’ in big letters)I swear I don’t know how he lives the way he does. I almost didn’t move inbecause of it.
Vanessa: (scoffs) You are so overdramatic. I’mnot even that bad, you’re just all OCD.
Brooke Lynn: I amnot! You just never clean up after yourself.
Vanessa: (rolling his eyes) Next question! Nextquestion!
The rest of the show continues in the same manner – while theyget all of the questions right, they bicker after each question. They end theshow in good spirits, leaving once everything was wrapped for the day. BrookeLynn drove them back to what was now their apartment, and they slipped rightinto their new normal, their domestic life.
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Monday Loving Post
Aye my peeps
So I was thinking about what I wanted to post today
And I noticed that a couple of you beautiful people could use a positive post about the different types of love
I also need to remind myself sometimes, because I’m listening to a saddening song right now and I can’t stop
The song is just too good but its so true like omg
But that’s not the point lets get to the positive things
Ok first up is Self Love
Now fuck what those posts on Instagram tell you
Self love is not going out and buying all that expensive shit
Now if you enjoy that then by all means treat yo self
To me self love is getting a good night of sleep
Or even just drinking more water
But for some of us its kinda hard to look in the mirror and like what you see
Believe me I know how it gets, but if you can look in the mirror and say “Damn that’s a bad bitch right there” then do that
At least once a day, it doesn’t matter when just make sure you say it once
And fellas ya’ll not exempt I know it can be hard to do something special for yourself without feeling like it takes away your masculinity.
Fuck that toxic behavior its not good or healthy for you
So I’m gone need ya’ll to go look in the mirror too and say “Damn ya boy got it going on right now.”
In the words of the great Rupaul
Now when it comes to loving somebody else its a two way street
You could give a person your whole heart and they’ll still break it
Its not your fault if they do this
Never think because a relationship didn’t work that it was because of something you did
Unless you were a toxic person or you cheated
If that's the case its ok we’ re here to be better people
And everybody makes mistakes
Let’s just avoid doing it again ok
Now love can be a tricky thing simply because some of us don’t really understand it
But that's ok that's why ya’ll got me
Love is like watering a plant
Love is the water, sunlight, and everything else you give plants
Don’t judge me this post is about love not plants
And the relationship is the plant
Now two people are taking care of the plant, but if one person stops then the plant will slowly start to die
Because it isn’t receiving all the nutrients it was before.
The plant dying is like a relationship on the brink of ending
Alright for those of you who look at others and be like “why don’t I look like that
You stop it because nobody is the same not even twins
I actually have it pretty bad when it comes to this
Its mainly because I’m so use to people telling me that I’m too skinny to be a black girl
Yes let that sink in
I was told mainly by older people in my life, that i was to small and couldn’t possible be black
But lets be real I have it pretty easy, I mean yea I get told I should eat more but when I do nobody really bats an eye
If someone who was plus size ate the amount of food I did you would have people coming in the masses trying to tell them about how that isn’t healthy
And I honestly think that’s bullshit
Who are we to try to dictate what others do with their body
Its not like its hurting us, some people just love to always be right and nitpick
This is also kinda like self love but idk I just know some people don’t like the body they were born in
I remember reading a book called The Skin I’m in
And when I tell y’all I hated that book
Like omg I wanted to burn every copy
And its not because it was a bad book
Its just I got sick of people comparing me to the girl in the book, mainly our skin color
But you see now you can’t tell me shit
Every time I pass a mirror I stop to holla at myself
Hell if nobody else is going to do it you best believe I’m going to do it
Alright now go forth my babies with this new knowledge and prosper
And to be honest I can make a group chat for those of you who might need a little pick me up during the tough times
I mean hell if not I’m paying a phone bill to just text my momma and hold my music
Now for android users y’all are going to have to help me think of something for you if I can’t add you to the group chat
But I liked doing this so I’m probably going to just think about different things to do during the week
Don’t worry I’ll still do the daddy posts and the BB posts
Some new ones should be coming out later today.
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be more chill - friday june 1, 2018 at the bartell theatre
im gunna start this off by saying HOLY SHIT. THE CAST ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT. THE SHOW WAS INCREDIBLE. ALL OF THE ACTORS/ACTRESSES WERE SOSOSOSOOOOOO TALENTED AND DID AN OUTSTANDING JOB. FROM THEIR LOOKS, THEY RANGED FROM LIKE 17-EARLY 20S??? LIKE THEY WERE YOUNG AND IN TERMS OF BLOCKING AND VOCALS THEY DID AN AMAZING JOB!!!
-ok so first things first, i was sitting in the 5th row, 3rd seat from the aisle (amazing seat omg)
-they had live music!! the people on keyboard & bass fucking CRUSHED IT holy shit
-im gunna go in random order/do some general comments bc my thoughts are scrambled,, im so shook
-let me start by saying HOLY SHIT this jeremy was fucking INCREDIBLE. and he pulled off the role so well. his facial expressions were ON POINT.
-his whole demeanor SCREAMED nervous teen. this boi was TALLL (and cute af my bisexual ass was quaking) and he did an amazing job of looking very insecure? like he kind of tried to make himself look small? and he would pick at his fingernails too, and he really sold it that this character is a Nervous BoyTM
-MICHAELLL had a PRIDE PATCH!!!! IT WAS A RAINBOW HEART!!! and then in act 2 he had a headband with a rainbow heart on!!!!! and omg, his little dances were so cute. HE FUCKIGNG WHIPPED WHEN HE CAME ONSTAGE OMG
-AND THEN HE AND JEREMY DABBED IN SYNC AND I WENT INTO FUCKING CARDIAC ARREST
-christine was 👌👌👌 very extra and cute!!!!!! wow!!!!! I LOVED HER (again my bisexual ass was SHOOK) she was short so whenever she was talking to Jeremy she got out a little stool so that she was his height and omg
-she really acted like she had ADD and she pulled it off so well, like, she would shake her leg when she was sitting down
-rich was TOP NOTCH HOLY SHITTTTT he fucking killed the squip song like damnnnnnn
-the SQUIP OMGOMGOFJSJDKFJF SHE WAS INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT OK
-“you look like beyoncé.” “that’s my default form. I can also take the form of rupaul, lady gaga, and sexy anime female”
-the squip’s makeup was GLITTERY and blue and holy shit her costume, high heeled boots and trench coat and omg wow my bi ass was crying
-two player game. was the gayest thing I have ever seen. in the “is it really true i’m your favowite personn” michael like had his hand on jeremy’s face and jeremy looked nervous and omg it was so cute
-the harmonies in two player game were 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌there were tears in my eyes
-at “will you be too cool for me– video games?” the look on jer’s face was like “i would never” and he was like desperately trying to comfort michael
-Christine kept scooting her chair closer to jer in i love play rehearsal and a guy that I’d kinda be into it was so cute
-and whenever she did that Jeremy would do the thing where he tried to make himself look small and he had a cute little awkward smile
-the squip was the sassiest little bitch ever…. in be more chill part 1 she was sitting on the platform behind everyone and filing her fucking nails…. she did that a lot it was so fucking funny
-the smartphone hour was fucking. AMAZING. they had ensemble members in the aisles singing at people like “did you hear did you hear?”
-at one part an ensemble member looked me in the eye and during “when rich set a fire cause he knew he was gay” and I died it was amazing, the look on her face was hilarious I LOVE YOU ENSEMBLE GIRL
-do you wanna ride had me SHOOK, Brooke was INSANELY TALENTED DAMN,, and then when chloe joined I think my brain exploded
-have I mentioned that im bi and everyone was gorgeous,,,
-be more chill part 2, ensemble members surrounded Jeremy and at the “everything about you sucks!” part he flinched and omg my heart melted
-the squip. sung the low parts, she, was,,,,, INSANE,,,,, SHE WAS A FUCKING ALTO,,,, HOLY SHIT,,, I DEADASS EXPECTED HER TO BRING YHE LOW SHIT UP AN OCTAVE BUT NOPE SHE FUCKING BELTED THAG SHIT AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN GAYER
-upgrade. wow. holy shit. JAKE WAS IBCREDIBLE MY BRAIN EXPLODED, also, when jake and Christine were singing, the squip and Jeremy were standing back to back and it was so funny,,,, i loved it
-whenever Christine was around jake she would be so cute… like the interactions between them were adorable ngl
-during halloween party Christine was looking around and she looked really uncomfortable and then at one point she just ran offstage like she couldn’t take it anymore, my heart melted
-do you wanna hang was HOLY SHIT,,,,,, INCREDIBLE,,,, Chloe was AMAZING she fucking belted it i was blown away
-michael had the creeps shirt
-Michael in the bathroom had me IN TEARS. MICHAEL WAS SO GOOD. HOLY SHIT. THE EMOTIONS HE SHOWED WERE INCREDIBLE AND HE ACTUALLY WAS GUCKIG CRYING AT YHAT ONE PART
-whenever the squip commanded Jeremy she wouldn’t even look at him, she was filing her nails and sounded as if she didn’t give a single fuck. she was also way shorter than him even tho she was wearing high heels it was kinda funny
-also during smartphone hour, everyone had their phones out (duh) and some of them had a snapchat convo open that read “omg rich set a fire last night!!!!” and stuff like that, while others of them had a badly photoshopped picture of the guy who played rich standing in front of a burning house I was dying
-the pitiful children, damn,,,, everyone’s fucking costumes during it had me SHOOK,,,, the girl who sang the jenna part crushed it btw omg, she was insane
-when mr heere was like “DO YOU LOVE JEREMY” michael was like “wh- um what” and he seemed nervous and awkward and OMG
-the pants song was so good, the guy who played mr heere was 20/10 top notch great singer amazing actor wowiwoeowoeoeoeo he was amazing
-the play was pulled off so well. holy shit.
-at “MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE!” he was in the aisle and ran down to the stage, I shit you not the whole FUCKIGNG theatre cheered
-at the “get out of my way loser” you could hear a hushed gasp and “aw” from the audience
-voices in my head, omg, where do I start it was incredible
-Michael picked up Jeremy and spun him around. my boyf riends shipping ass was screaming
-hey pinkberry shippers:: chloe and Brooke were holding hands and being cute all throughout voices in my head
-Jeremy kissed christine and she was standing on her lil stool and it was so fucking cute. she hugged him super hard after and it was adorable!
-rich had a bi sash at the end
-a cast on his arm was painted the bi flag colors
-at “oh my god I’m totally bi” everyone cheered
-during play rehearsal, when Brooke was doing her lines, Christine was mouthing the whole thing and looking at her script it was so cute
-there was some HARDCORE boyf riends chemistry,, like,,, holy shit
-michael straddled jeremy when he was trying to get him to drink the mountain dew red
-this show blew me away
-because it’s just a small local theatre I honestly wasn’t expecting it to be this good but wow
-i might add more details later, i’m super tired rn,,,
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Nostalgia, Part 4 (Rujubee) - Dartmouth420
nostalgia is a series that follows the re-ignition of raven/jujubee’s friendship (with benefits) while jujubee competes on all stars five and raven is working on set. there will be one chapter for every episode of AS5 where jujubee appears. drag names used with male pronouns.
summary: Jujubee is not going to be in the bottom this week due to a damn curse, thank you very much. But messing with other people’s feelings is never a good idea… because his own tend to get caught up in it too.
a/n: i had writers block but then i recovered by listening to hit the back by king princess like twenty times in a row lmao. enjoy the side mizbee (crackjubee?) also this is not how negotiating a dom/sub relationship should go in real life my friends, this is one hundred percent pure fantasy.
tw: dom/sub dynamics, mild daddy kink, mild choking, jealousy, smut
The day wasn’t going particularly well.
Jujubee was very much not appreciating the ‘challenge winner one week, bottom two the next’ curse that loomed over him. The challenge was improv and while Jujubee was confident in his improv skills he was feeling a little chagrined at the production’s decision to group together the queens with the most conflict. But whatever, this wasn’t RuPaul’s Best Friend’s Race, after all. Ha.
But Cracker decided that once again he needed to make a speech about however the hell he was feeling towards Blair. Blair took it in stride and Jujubee watched the whole thing like a tennis match. These little white boys needed to get their damn selves under control. Jujubee re-focused on the task at hand.
Luckily they broke from filming for lunch soon afterwards. Everyone ate and bitched and complained.
Movement caught Jujubee’s eye, and of course, there was Raven sauntering into the break room like he owned the place. He made a beeline to Jujubee, who nodded and opened his mouth to say hello. But with an extra little swing of his hips, Raven changed direction at the last moment and went over to Mayhem, whom he gave a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“I’ve been missing you bitch, it’s been too long!” said Raven, an arm around Mayhem, radiating charm.
The two of them were friends, considered Jujubee, shutting his mouth and taking in the surprised and pleased look on Mayhem’s face. They chatted back and forth for a couple minutes until Raven glanced over his shoulder at Jujubee, and then went over to speak to Shea.
“What you’re doing on the runway is everything,” complimented Raven, with a flirtatious little shake of his shoulders.
Jujubee raised an eyebrow. Raven was laying it on a bit thick.
“Thanks?” responded Shea, slightly confused, flashing Raven a smile, “Can I expect good reviews on FPR?”
“I’ll see how I feel in eight months, honey.” That stupid little tilt of Raven’s head. Shea’s wonderful laugh.
Raven gave Jujubee a knowing side-eyed look and then went over to Blair. Mayhem and Shea, Jujubee could understand, but he knew that Raven did not have an established rapport with Blair. Blair seemed surprised and vaguely taken aback by Raven, who asked him how filming was going and nodded understandingly to his answer and delicately touched the younger man’s back.
Well, now Jujubee was disgruntled. And pissed off about being disgruntled, because Jujubee did not lose his gruntle easily, thank you very much.
But two could play at this game. Jujubee glanced over to Cracker and India.
“… I just don’t know, I’m feeling fucking weird-” continued Cracker to India, who was nodding. Jujubee had to do something about this because he was not going to lose the challenge. Cracker needed to calm the fuck down, stat, and Jujubee could certainly manage that if he played his cards right. Succeeding in the competition was way more important than whatever the hell Raven was playing at.
“Hey,” said Jujubee, going over to Cracker, who was anxiously running his hands through his already-greasy hair again, “Come here for a minute, I need to talk to you.”
Jujubee glanced over at Raven who was watching him, a slight frown on his face as he half-nodded to what Blair was saying. Then Jujubee turned and left, Cracker in tow, feeling Raven’s eyes on his back all the way out.
Jujubee quickly made his way through the backstage area to the hallway where Raven had led him during that first week of filming. A PA stopped him and asked what he was doing but Jujubee waved her off with the excuse that they were heading outside for a smoke break. Cracker followed him silently.
“You need to calm the fuck down,” said Jujubee, opening the door to the disused equipment room where he and Raven had had such a lovely time, and motioned with his head. Cracker went in ahead of him, a suspicious look on his face. Jujubee flicked the light and shut the door.
Cracker looked around, “I’m trying, alright? I don’t know why I have all this drama out of the blue, but the challenge-”
“Look I’ve been doing this for a long time, it’s not that complicated,” stated Jujubee, “You’re funny. I’m funny. Blair’s a baby with a billion Instagram followers. We’re professionals, we can do this, and at the end of the day it’s just a damn TV show, so relax.”
“Yeah, I- okay,” said Cracker, nodding to him, gritting his teeth, “I can relax.”
That was just about the least relaxed statement Jujubee had ever heard in his life.
But perhaps words weren’t the best way to go about this. Perhaps Cracker just needed someone else to take charge. Bizarrely deciding to trust Raven’s statement from the other night in his hotel room, Jujubee went for it.
“That doesn’t sound very relaxed, girl!” laughed Jujubee, comfortable, “But maybe I can help you out with that…”
Now Cracker looked confused, and glanced around the room again, before his brown eyes landed back on Jujubee’s. And there was a little bit of intrigue, wasn’t there?
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying…?” said Cracker, inclining his chin.
“Stay quiet and don’t be a little bitch about it,” said Jujubee, allowing the dominant tone to slip into his voice. Clear, expectant, authoritative.
Cracker quirked an eyebrow in response, an interested smile growing.
Very pleased that things were going his way, Jujubee stepped forward and knelt in front of Cracker. Cracker took in a breath and gave Jujubee a quick nod of confirmation and Jujubee unbuckled Cracker’s belt, pulling his pants them down around his thighs and made straight for the rapidly hardening cock in his briefs. Interesting.
Aiming for efficiency, Jujubee got Cracker’s cock out, gave it an appreciative look and swirled his tongue around the tip, earning a very aroused noise from Cracker. Jujubee took it in his mouth and went to work.
“Oh, fuck,” muttered Cracker, the muscles in his thighs tensing. He didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. Jujubee didn’t particularly like being touched while he gave head, but Cracker didn’t seem like the type to touch without asking, and he refrained from doing so, keeping his hands to himself.
Jujubee worked Cracker’s cock enthusiastically, and gripped his ass with his left hand and a little thrill grew in his gut. This was fun, quick and dirty and hopefully it would lead him to his end goal, which was getting Cracker to chill the fuck out so they could win this challenge together.
It wasn’t quite as much fun as face-fucking Raven in drag, but he really shouldn’t be comparing…
Soon enough Cracker’s breath was ragged, and he whispered, “I’m gonna come-”
Jujubee briefly considered the fact that he hadn’t properly prepared for this, and there weren’t any great options other than to just swallow. It wasn’t his favourite thing, but it would have to do for today.
Cracker let out a filthy groan, and Jujubee took it and swallowed, and then he moved back, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood. Cracker was still recovering, tucking his cock back into his briefs, and re-buckling his belt with a shaking hand.
“Woah,” said Cracker, with a quick shake of his head, “That was good.”
“You feeling more relaxed, baby?” teased Jujubee.
“Yeah, actually,” murmured Cracker, “Maybe I was just pent up…”
Jujubee gave him an affectionate pat on the shoulder and then opened the door and glanced outside. There was no one in the hallway, so they left together.
That had been pretty fun, considered Jujubee as he followed Cracker back down the hallway to their break area, and he’d heard rumours of Cracker’s other talents in the bedroom. This could become a sensible arrangement. It wasn’t like Jujubee needed Raven, after all. Raven was chaotic, and he wasn’t even on the show this season. He was in an entirely different headspace than Jujubee and his fellow contestants.
Just as they were rounding the corner back to the break room, movement caught Jujubee’s eye again. He glanced through an open doorway into the makeup studio to see Raven look up, and give him a very pointed glare before returning to furiously brushing out a big blonde wig.
Jujubee didn’t say anything, nor did he stop. Raven’s feelings were his own problem, and Jujubee couldn’t let this nonsense get to him. But he did feel sorry for that poor wig.
Jujubee’s team performed excellently in the challenge and Jujubee felt pretty damn good about it. Almost having a little in-drag make out session with Cracker was pretty fun too, and Jujubee found he liked Cracker a lot better when his confidence was up.
The next day was the runway. Jujubee realized while watching everyone else get ready that perhaps his outfit was a bit minimal in comparison. Nonetheless, he thought it looked sleek and expensive, and the matching nails, clutch and shoes were a nice touch. But whatever.
Cracker won the challenge. Jujubee placed high as well and privately allowed himself a sigh of relief. He’d broken the curse, at least for tonight.
After the critiques they all trooped off the runway, and Jujubee affectionately touched Cracker’s back on the way out.
“Congratulations on the win, bitch,” whispered Jujubee into Cracker’s ear.
“Thanks,” he replied, “I think you’re owed it too.”
“Ah, I barely did anything.”
Cracker snorted, “You got me to relax, do you know how hard that is? I’ve led several doctors to burnout.”
“Looks like all you needed to be prescribed was a decent blowjob.”
Cracker chuckled and Jujubee followed him, last in line. The queens moved through to the backstage, going past where they filmed Untucked for the regular season into the area with the moveable walls that made up the hallway. There was a stretch where the crew was sparse, the cameras guys going ahead. A gap between two walls was ahead on Jujubee’s left. The PA behind him turned, pressing his headset, summoned back to the runway area.
A hand closed around Jujubee’s wrist and yanked him into the gap between the walls. Jujubee yelped in shock and then recovered his balance as he saw Raven before him in the dark alcove, six feet of petulant anger.
“Why are you flirting with him?” demanded Raven.
“The fuck?” managed Jujubee, yanking his wrist out of Raven’s grip, “Why are you pulling me out of the end of the line like some girl who’s the first to die in a horror movie?”
Raven ignored his question and asked another, “What was that, yesterday?”
Jujubee took a moment before answering. This seemed to be developing in a way that wasn’t ideal. First of all, he was in the middle of filming. Second of all, Raven’s behaviour had impulsive, chaotic, bratty bitch written all over it.
“You’re acting crazy,” stated Jujubee.
“Cracker’s the most annoying one of the lot-”
“I’m not gonna dignify this bullshit with an answer-” replied Jujubee, making to head back between the halls into the hallway. Usually there’d be a camera person or somebody in this little alcove, but-
“No, wait,” said Raven, and his tone had changed. No longer whiny and entitled, but serious.
“What?” demanded Jujubee, turning back to him, irritated. Just when Jujubee was fed up with Raven’s bullshit, he would change his tune. And it worked every time. He should really just leave-
“If we’re going to do this then I don’t want you fucking around with anybody else like, here,” stated Raven, crossing his arms, expression serious.
“What do you mean, this?”
“You know what I mean, this, this thing that always happens between us.”
Jujubee straightened and gazed at Raven imperiously, “You’re the one who suggested I fuck around with Cracker in the first place, and now you’re jealous?”
Raven rolled his eyes.
“Because I remember yesterday,” continued Jujubee, “When you were all over everybody at the lunch break, glancing over your shoulder making sure I was noticing you. You were trying to make me jealous, or some nonsense?”
“Well, it obviously backfired…” said Raven, giving Jujubee a self-deprecating half-smile, “I just wanted to get you riled up. You know why.”
Ah, of course that had been Raven’s angle. To be behave badly, to make Jujubee jealous and riled up so that he’d want to punish him the next time they interacted. Oh, it had worked on All Stars One, that’s for sure, and even way back on Season Two. They’d both been exhausted, stressed out messes, but still, Raven had always wanted to play. They were repeating some very old patterns here, Jujubee couldn’t do anything but shake his head.
“Bitch, you could’ve just said that.”
“No, seriously,” said Jujubee, gesticulating with frustration at the ridiculousness of it all, “Why the fuck are we standing in this hole in the hall talking about it? We’ve been doing this on and off for years, just admit that you want it. You want me to get dominant and possessive over you, and I want to punish you and fuck you silly. It’s not that complicated!”
Raven paused for a moment. Then he nodded and shrugged, leaning back against the wall and looking at Jujubee with a lazy, inviting expression, “Yes ma'am, you’re right. That’s exactly what I want.”
A thrill went down Jujubee’s spine, cutting through his irritation. Here they were, right in the middle of filming, between some fucking movable walls, sliding back into this dynamic. It was so easy, every time. Fuck, he should really just go, but-
Instead of leaving like a sensible human, Jujubee stepped froward and traced his long red nails down the side of Raven’s face. Raven practically shivered under his touch. Jujubee traced his jaw and then caressed Raven’s neck. A little sweat under his fingers, some stubble just beginning to grow back in.
Jujubee dug his sharp nails into Raven’s throat. Raven flinched, and let out an absolutely shameless moan under his breath.
“You have to give me respect,” ordered Jujubee, standing straight, holding eye contact, gaze steady, “When we’re in the same room you don’t even so much as look at anyone else.”
“When I’m around you’re mine. You’re my bitch.”
“Yes, daddy,” replied Raven, running his tongue over his teeth.
Jujubee tightened his grip for a split second and then stepped back with a laugh and the moment was broken. Raven blinked a couple times, and stepped forward, picking a speck of fluff off Jujubee’s wig.
“Right, okay,” said Raven, smoothing out Jujubee’s camo-lined cape on his shoulders and looking him over approvingly, “Mmm, you look sleek. I love doing this when you’re in drag.”
“Why do I put up with you?” asked Jujubee, raising an eyebrow.
Raven leaned forward and whispered into Jujubee’s ear, with a tickle of warm breath, “Because I’m the best you’ve ever had, Cracker doesn’t hold up and you know it.”
“He has a real nice ass, actually-”
“Ugh, stop it!” replied Raven, bratty demeanour returning as he pulled back. The pink marks from Jujubee’s nails were apparent on his neck, but Jujubee hadn’t pressed hard enough to actually hurt him, let alone break the skin. It was satisfying to see them there nonetheless. They had a tendency to leave marks on each other, both visible and invisible.
“Get over yourself.”
Raven whined in response, and then he laughed, “Fuck. It’s always like this, isn’t it? Who was it I was trying to make you jealous with last time around? Manila?”
Jujubee laughed and the nostalgia tugged at him, but he held off indulging in the memory. There had been many petty disagreements all those years ago, but they were either jokes or water under the bridge now. They’d have time to reminisce later, if it came up.
“Come up to my hotel room in a couple days.”
“I’d love that.”
A voice from the hallway, “Anybody got eyes on Jujubee?”
It must be a producer. Uh oh. Jujubee craned his neck, glancing into the hallway.
“Ah shit, sorry-” murmured Raven, finally seeming embarrassed.
“I’ve gotta get back out there now, before they notice us,” whispered Jujubee.
Raven gently pushed Jujubee’s arm, “Go. I’ll hide out for a minute.”
Jujubee slipped back out into the hallway and made himself known, and was hustled away by some stressed-out crew member. Raven stayed hidden, presumably until the hallway was empty, and Jujubee didn’t bother looking back. Instead he reflected on what they’d both just admitted to, and seemed to have established between them.
Later on Morgan wiped the floor with Cracker during the lip-sync, and somehow they both won (that would have to be made up later in the editing, considered Jujubee) and Mayhem was sent home. Jujubee would miss him. The queens were dropping like flies, but he fully intended to be the last one standing.
The special little arrangement he had with Raven on the side would only add to his fun.
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Pairing: Ramsay Bolton X Reader
Request: If your request are open can you do another ramsay bolton where they are in high school and he is popular and he slowly falls for shy reader but he won't admit it because he is dating someone else but they hookup with each other at a party and she finds out she is pregnant with his baby and in the end they get together. I really love your writings they are amazing and your an amazing writer. Thanks
Author’s Notes: Totally didnt intend this one to be this long, but here we are.
Written for: @bittenwolf45
Words: 4973 // [Ao3 Link]
“Ms. Y/N, can you read the next paragraph out loud?” the history teacher asked you. When you shifted in your seat, you locked eyes with him again. Ramsay Bolton was among the rich and popular at North Westeros High School. He chewed at the eraser on the end of his pencil, waiting to hear you speak like the rest of the class. You enjoyed history. It was the only class you shared with him, and it was your favorite subject.
You read aloud a summary of a battle long ago. A civil war within a single house that almost destroyed everything. It was sad how a family can break apart and kill each other for power, but that was history. You’ve seen worse at home where your stepsiblings would argue with each parent. Civil war wasn’t foreign in your life. It was relatable.
The school bell rang for the day and everyone was out of their seats within seconds. You understood. History seemed bland to everyone else. It was boring. Who wanted to listen to a bunch of words dead men said? You packed up your things slowly, taking care to keep everything in neat order. You almost left the classroom when your teacher called your name.
“Sorry, Mr. Cayce. Is something wrong?”
“No, no. I only wanted to give you something,” Mr. Edgar Cayce handed over a pamphlet and an application to you. “There’s an internship program at the museum downtown. One of my past students is in charge there. I recommended you and showed her your last two papers. I think you should apply. It would open some doors for you.”
You smiled softly. “Thank you, Mr. Cayce. That’s really thoughtful of you. I’ll think about it.” You tucked the pamphlet and application between your folder and notebook and ducked your way out of the classroom. The next thing you saw was a redheaded girl kissing Ramsay’s cheek. She played with his fingers and they walked off together. His eyes lingered on you for a moment and then back to his girlfriend.
You couldn’t say it stung you. Ramsay and his girlfriend had been going out with each other for months. You were used to seeing them together. It was hard to swallow. You daydreamed so many times over the idea of you kissing his cheek and playing with his fingers. You also daydreamed of other thoughts that made your cheeks warm.
None of your naughty thoughts were known to the world. You only had one friend you were attached to. And even he didn’t know about your quiet crush on Ramsay.
“So, are you going to do it?”
“I don’t know. There’s just a lot of people, you know?” you sighed. “What if I mess up something?”
“You won’t,” David reached his hand over to touch yours. “This is something you really love. Working at the museum for the summer? Getting out of your horrid house? Surrounded by artifacts and other people like you? It’s perfect for you. I think I know what’s really wrong here.”
“You’re scared, honey,” David only called you honey when he dropped any kind of truth on you. The first time you brought Crocs? Honey. When you thought Santa Claus was real at 15? Honey. When you thought that RuPaul’s Drag Race was a show only for gays? Hoooonnnnnney. Ru Paul’s Drag Race is for everyone.
David picked up his phone and opened Facebook. His newsfeed with buzzing with LGBTQA articles, friends posting selfies of themselves, and people haring inks of cute kitten videos. His friends number was upwards of 250 people. You frowned. You knew exactly what he was going to say.
“You’re so scared of rejection that you miss out on everything! I mean, look at—
“We’ve had this conversation before.”
“And the point still stands,” David firmly spoke. “This is perfect for you. Take it, damn you. I mean, fuck, if Ms. Reyes handed me an internship for Vogue, you best believe I would not be here moping to my best friend about it.”
“I guess you’re right. It would be really cool,” you half-smiled. The idea of spending all summer in a museum with people like you. Away from people screaming. Away from everyone who didn’t matter. That was perfect. “Could you help me pick out an outfit for the interview?”
“Interview? Are you getting paid?” David’s eyes lit up like Christmas. His flat brown hair seemed to have static electricity running through it. His glasses reflected like a Japanese anime character ready to make a stand.
“No, there’s a couple rounds of interviews to get a place in the program,” you explained, almost laughing. “I wanna look my best.”
David’s smile turn to sheer horrific glee. “I watched Devil Wears Prada 79 times. I am prepared for this.”
The flats you borrowed from David’s sister went perfectly with the green dress that David picked from your closet. Your hair was loose in curls around you, and David forced you in his bathroom to wear makeup. It certainly wasn’t your comfort zone, but at least your feet were comfy.
After receiving instructions from front desk information, you found yourself in the waiting room of Anna Nguyen, PhD. The room was mostly empty save for Anna’s assistant at her desk and Ramsay sitting in one of the few chairs by the office. You found yourself unable to breathe for a moment. Your head filled with questions.
Was what he doing here? Is he wearing an Armani suit? Does he even like history? What was he doing here? Did Mr. Cayce give him an application too? Is he that smart? What was he doing here?
Why was he here?
You quietly made your way over to one seat over from Ramsay. You took out your resume and recommendation letters and read over everything. You heard something shift and a voice.
“Hey, it’s you,” Ramsay said. “Y/N? We have History together.” Your mouth ran dry. You cleared your throat before you said anything.
“I guess you’re here for the internship?” He asked you. You nodded your head. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Not much for talking, hm? You’re probably smarter than me, but I’ll still get a place in the program. Don’t think you’re better than me.”
“I don’t think I’m better than you.” You explained. “But why are you here? You don’t like history.”
“You’re wrong.” Ramsay shot at you. “I do. Mr. Cayce wanted me to be here. He gave me the app.” Your questions were being slowly answered.
“I didn’t know. I thought I was the only one.”
“Well, you weren’t, Miss Perfect.”
“I’m not perfect.”
“Do you have straight A’s?”
“Then you’re perfect.” He replied with a huff. You knew Ramsay was hard to get along with. He wasn’t popular because everyone liked him. He was popular because everyone feared him. You still liked him anyways. He never bullied you, but this conversation wasn’t going well.
You heard the assistant call your name. She gestured you to go inside the office for the interview. You nodded and left Ramsay behind.
“Hey, Perfect,” Ramsay called out to you. You turned to him one more time before entering. He winked. “Good luck in there.”
You thought about that for the rest of the day. On the way home, your eyes glazed over. In your bedroom, you stared at your personal journal. Trying to figure what to say. The words played over and over. His wink. That small smile. Someone had to know. You couldn’t keep these thoughts to yourself.
“What?” David said at lunch that next Monday louder than you wanted.
“Keep your voice down,” you whispered.
“I didn’t even know you liked people! Ramsay tho?” David nodded, tucking his finger under his chin. “I can see it. I ship it.”
“What? No. He has a girlfriend. It’s fine.”
“Still ship it.” David reaffirmed.
“He didn’t like me very much during the conversation we had.”
“Did he smile at you?” David asked.
“Yes,” you answered. “And he winked at me.”
David dropped his water bottle like a mic. “Ship it.”
When you received the email that you made it into the next round of interviews, you were ecstatic. This time you showed up in a pink blazer with a white blouse underneath. Your black slacks complimented your short heels, but what you liked the most was the statement necklace David nabbed from another friend for you. You swore that your closet was anything David could get his hands on.
You showed up holding your phone in your hands. You scrolled through every note you took from social media about group interviews. Your breathing matched your heart. Both seemed to be going fast. Group interviews were never your thing, and will never be your thing.
“You alright?” Ramsay asked. You looked up to see the Bolton with a button up shirt and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. You it your lip. You considered lying for a moment, but you were terrible at lying. Why would you lie? It was written all over your face. This was not fine.
“No,” you said in the smallest voice. Your downcast eyes found the floor much more comforting to look at than your crush.
“Is it the group interview? You have nothing to worry about,” Ramsay said casually. “They only do this to make good candidates nervous. You’ll be fine.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because you’re perfect,” Ramsay gave you another small smile. “You’ll be measured against your peers, that’s me, and they’ll see how good you are.”
“What about you?”
“Oh, I’m still getting a place in the program. Don’t worry about that.” His cockiness was on full display. He eyed other candidates as they filed into the room. Both of you took a seat next to each other. Ramsay leaned over to you. “Put it away. You’ll look distracted. If you’re still nervous, remember that you have the highest GPA of everyone in this room.”
“What? That’s so dumb. Why would I—
“You do. I already did the research. You have the highest GPA out of everyone in this room.” Ramsay finished his thought. He leaned back as the group interview started. Dr. Anna was there, but it was the Program Director that led the interview. Three other candidates introduced themselves while you and Ramsay were last. They shot easy questions at first. Why do you want to be in this program? What draws you to history?
But then came the more difficult questions. Why should they pick you? What do you have to bring to the table? You answered your best until you remembered what Ramsay told you.
“Ms. Y/N, what are your biggest weaknesses?” the Program Director asked you. Everyone’s head turned towards you.
“I believe my biggest weaknesses are my shyness and how introverted I am.” You watched two of the interviewers lean forward. “I may be quiet, but it’s something I’d like to work on. If I was offered a place here, I would be in good company. Learn and teach from thoe around me and create new friendships.”
You almost wanted to slap your momma that was such a good answer. You watched Ramsay’s smile grow because of you.
“Mr. Bolton, what are your strengths?”
“I know more about that painting to the left than you do,” Ramsay’s quick tongue earned a heated response.
“Do you?” The Director challenged. Ramsay leaned forward.
“The Arnolfini Portrait was painted by Jan van Eyck in the 1430’s. It’s a double full length portrait depicting an Italian merchant and his soon to be bride.”
“You can’t prove that his bride.”
“I can.” Ramsay smiled. “Erwin Panofsky and other accredited art historians regarded this as a unique form of marriage contract, recorded as a painting. It was one of the first portraits done entirely in oils and highly regarded for its perspective. Of course, that’s only a copy. The original is in London. Any questions?”
You watched the Director frown and crumble up paper on the spot. You thought you could hear him say ‘that little shit’ under his breath. After the group interview was finished, you waited around for Ramsay who spoke with the art historian. He looked at you and did another double take. He excused himself, walking towards you.
“You know, you’re not the nicest guy at school—or ever,” you shot a look at the Director whose sour face could not be wiped from his face.
“I’m not. Why do you bring it up?”
“Why are you helping me?” you asked. Your hands fiddled with your phone. “Don’t you want a place for yourself?”
“Of course I do, do you think I’m an idiot?”
“No, but that doesn’t answer my question.” Ramsay blankly stared at you for a moment before rolling his eyes.
“This program leads to promising futures. I would rather make my alliances now,” Ramsay explained. You narrowed your eyes.
“Wha-I-Is this some kind of medieval time war game? A game of thrones? Or something?” you blurted out.
“It’s principle. I help you now. You’ll help me later.”
The words made sense, but it certainly didn’t help your feelings. You would still watch him from afar. As soon as the bell rang, Ramsay was in his girlfriend’s arms. Your stomach didn’t forgive you whenever you watched. It felt like torture every single time.
You didn’t know much about her. Only that she was just as popular, an average student, and her hair was kissed by fire. She was a fiery one. And wild. No wonder Ramsay liked her so much. And you were…the exact opposite. Quiet, unpopular, cautious, nervous. The words flowed through your head. You couldn’t hold a candle next to her.
You turned to go to your own lockers. You couldn’t watch them together anymore. Not when you and Ramsay had grown so much closer than you ever expected.
The reviewing process for the museum summer program was underway and it was only a matter of days until you found out whether or not you had a place in it or not. You decided to distract yourself in the school library going over your notes for your next history test. Your eyes almost glazed over until he sat down in front of you.
“Why are you always dressed like this?” Ramsay asked.
“What do you mean?” you replied, looking up from your notes. Ramsay gestured to your outfit. Another t-shirt and jeans. It was easy. No real thought into it.
“This. Why don’t you wear your other clothes to school?”
“The interview clothes?”
“Yeah,” Ramsay scoffed. “Don’t you want to impress some guy you like?” You felt your heart skip a beat. Heat rushed to your cheeks.
“W-well, it’s just looking good isn’t that important. I would rather study.”
“Rather study,” Ramsay mocked. “High school isn’t life or death, you know. You should wear your other clothes. You’re prettier in them.”
Ramsay got up from the seat and looked towards the library entrance. His girlfriend entered and waved him over. He nodded and then looked back to you.
“Stop studying. You’ll be fine. Remember? You’re perfect.” Ramsay tapped the table twice and left. Your mind was reeling. He thought you were pretty. Well, he thought you were pretty in your ‘other’ clothes. Did he like you? No, he has a girlfriend. He likes her. He called you perfect again. Was he being sarcastic? The questions and answers spiraled in your head so much that when you were in history you almost wrote Ramsay’s name instead of the correct answer on the test.
But you tried it.
The next day you wore your ‘other’ clothes to school. You did your hair. You even put a little more makeup on. Just to see. Yes, more people looked your way, and the attention was a bit much. You noticed Ramsay’s friend looking at you longer than you were comfortable with.
It was almost lunch and you carefully put your English notebook away when you felt a close presence behind you.
“See? Much better,” Ramsay smiled. You looked around for a moment, catching Ramsay’s girlfriend eye. She was seething.
“What are you doing?” you asked. Ramsay finished texting on his phone and his attention turned back to you.
“You and I are going to Mr. Cayce’s classroom.”
You looked back at her. She was still seething. You almost thought she was on fire. “Your girlfriend doesn’t seem to be too happy.”
“She doesn’t matter,” Ramsay shrugged. “Don’t worry. She’s not mad at you. She’s mad with me, and frankly it’s getting fucking annoying.” Ramsay said that last sentence particularly louder. Both of you looked her way. She rolled her eyes and walked off with their mutual friends.
The walk to Mr. Cayce’s classroom was quiet. Until, Ramsay’s hand brushed by yours. You wanted to say something or mumble some sort of apology. When you glanced at him, he seemed too satisfied with himself. As if he did it on purpose. What game was he playing at? You were going to protest his mockery with your anger when you reached Mr. Cayce’s door.
He smiled wide and welcomed you both inside. He placed his hands on his hips. “Congrats to both of you! You made it.”
You felt like you could fly. You felt a sad weight lift off your chest and joy fill it in its place. Your summer would be spent around art, statues, artifacts, and anything you could get your hands on. You would be in the company of other people who did what you wanted to do for a living. You wouldn’t be stuck in your house listening to another argument or hiding away from the tension. In your glee, you squealed and hugged Ramsay much tighter than you planned to.
You blinked and realized you were holding your crush and that his face was inches from yours. Heat rushed to your cheeks again and you let go, mumbling a short ‘sorry’. You watched Ramsay’s face go from confusion to a secret satisfaction in seconds. He was enjoying your embarrassment.
“Thank you, Mr. Cayce,” Ramsay spoke for the both of you. “What do we need to do now?”
“Keep your grades up for the rest of the year,” Mr. Cayce explained. “I’ll get more information to you when it becomes relevant. And celebrate! Both of you did so well!”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Ramsay smirked. “We’ll celebrate.” He winked at you. When you told David about it, he almost fell to the floor.
“I can’t believe he said that.” David was beside himself. “He’s so into you.”
“He makes fun of me. He knows I like him a lot and he makes fun of me for it.”
“So, Ramsay’s a little mean. He’s still into you.”
“He has a girlfriend.”
“He told you that you were pretty.”
“He says I’m pretty in these clothes.”
“He called you perfect.”
“He’s mocking when he says that.”
“I still ship it,” David said while sipping away at his cool drink. He stopped and then he started to hit you repeatedly. “There’s a party! It’s at some fucker’s house! He’s gonna be there! We have to go!”
“What? No!” you reacted. “I don’t like parties. There’s so many people. And there’s gonna be drunk people—
“He said you two were gonna celebrate! This is it! It’s your chance!”
“I have no chance with him.” David was having none of your negativity (as best friends usually do). Before you knew it, you were at the house party in another outfit David put you in. Only this time, it wasn’t for an interview. Your thigh highs showed off your legs while your new crop top (that David may or may not have cut in the car) showed more skin you’ve ever shown in your life.
David led you into the house party. Loud music played while everyone’s conversation with each other were louder. Red solo cups were filled with a mixture of alcohol and punch. A few girls looked your way and commented on your outfit.
“Y/N? Wow! You look so good!” one of them shouted. “Total queen bee right now!” You smiled and nodded. Sometimes you forgot how nice girls were. As you continued through the party, you noticed more smoke clouds, couples kissing in secret, and someone dressed as a banana? You shook your head and kept going.
David pushed you towards Ramsay and his friends. You watched him chug down another beer. Ramsay took one look at you and spit out half of his beer. His eyes were wide as a hungry dog watching dinner be made.
“Fuck,” he mumbled, but you heard him. “Y/N?”
“Hi,” you waved.
“You’re here,” Ramsay looked down your shirt. “In that.” You nodded. Silence feel between both of you. David rolled his eyes. He couldn’t hold his tongue anymore.
“Have fun with your dick appointment,” David said and left without another word.
“Dick appointment?” Ramsay laughed. He looked back to you and bit his lip. “You wearing that for me?”
“No,” you said in your smallest voice. This couldn’t be anymore mortifying. Ramsay’s smile grew wicked.
“No,” he shook his head. “You’re wearing that for me.”
“Y/N,” he teased. You could smell his hoppy breath. “Am I the dick appointment?”
You bit your lip as a response. What else could you say? Ramsay’s mouth salivated like a dog. You watched him lick his lips and his eyes set on you.
“I knew it,” he said as he grabbed you. He pushed through people to get you into a small bedroom. Ramsay barricaded the door and turned to you. “You have no idea what I wanna do to you.”
You felt Ramsay’s hand run up your thigh. His fingers found their way inside your panties. They moved back and forth along your pussy. His mouth found yours not long after. Your mind raced. This is what you dreamed about. What you always wanted was now a reality. You’ve never done anything like this before.
Your hands ran through his hair, kissing him back. You couldn’t have enough. He tasted exactly like the beer he chugged and the junk food he shoved into his mouth, but who cares? In this one moment, he was yours. You opened your mouth and moaned. Ramsay’s fingers went inside of you and you moaned more from pleasure than from pain.
You found yourself in a tangle with him. Both of you were panting and sweating. Ramsay pressed himself against you as he thrusted inside of you. He was rough. He held your hands above your head and kept going. You had him. He was all over you with no sign of stopping.
Each second with him grew more intense. He buried himself in your neck. Your hands held him close, but you wanted him closer and closer. You heard the bedframe moving and the music disappear. All you heard was him grunting. All you could feel was him. His arms around your body. His mouth on yours.
He was so horrible to everyone, but he felt so wonderful. He groaned your name loud and your felt warmth between your legs. He lifted himself off of you and sat on the bed. You started to hear the loud music again. His eyes focused in the dark. As did yours. Then the shameful realization came to you.
“You cheated on her with me, didn’t you?” you asked. Your stomach churned when he didn’t answer you. You dressed yourself and set off without another word. David caught you storming out the party.
“What happened?” David asked, grabbing you. He saw your teary eyes and shaky breath.
“I just wanna go home.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“Please just take me home,” you said. You couldn’t sleep for the next couple of days. You watched Ramsay hold her hand. Ramsay kiss her on the lips. All while you knew exactly what both of you did together. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak or look at Ramsay.
But he was insistent on speaking with you. He left several notes in your locker when texting wouldn’t work. He stared at you during history class. Whenever you saw him coming towards you, you avoided him. Suddenly, spending the summer with him at the museum didn’t sound wonderful anymore. If he could do that to his girlfriend, he could do that with you.
Three weeks went by just like that. Avoiding him. Not looking at him. Pretending like he didn’t exist. At first, you thought you were sick. You skipped a day and thought your nausea would go away. Then, it was the fatigue. You barely could keep awake in history class anymore. Your body felt sluggish as if you had to drag yourself to do everything. You thought it was weird that your period didn’t come.
Your period didn’t come.
“I’m so scared,” you told David. He waited with you in his bathroom, trying to keep you calm.
The seconds felt like forever.
“It’s fine. You’re going to be fine,” David rubbed your back in circles. It felt comforting, but it couldn’t solve the current issue. “This could all be stress. I mean, isn’t your stepsister suing your dad for something?”
“Yeah, for rent, and he’s countersuing.”
“See? Stress. You have a lot on your plate. It could be nothing.” David tried reassuring you, but the seconds were up. The results of the pregnancy test could change your life. Your stomach flipped and turned. Your chest felt tight. You held the small item in your hands and saw the two blue lines.
It was positive.
Everything was a blur. The room had to be spinning. This couldn’t be happening. You had plans. You wanted to go to college. You wanted so much more. Monday came around, and you felt the same. Sluggish, shitty, and trying your best. When you approached your locker for the first class of the day, you saw Ramsay. He watched you not too far away.
You had to tell him.
Quickly thinking of something, you wrote down a meeting time and place on a piece of notebook paper. You approached him saying nothing and handed him the note.
“You’re acknowledging me now? What’s this?” Ramsay took the paper and unfolded it. “What is it?”
“We’ll talk later. That time. That place. Ok?”
“We can’t talk now? Because that’s what we’re doing, we’re talking now.”
“Ramsay, I don’t have the time. I have to go to class.”
“No, you really don’t. Talk to me. Now.” Ramsay waited for you to say something. All you could manage was sigh and close your eyes.
“I’m pregnant, Ramsay.”
Ramsay blinked. He stood there, almost unfazed. “You’re what?”
“I’m pregnant. With your child. It’s yours.” Your vision started to blur. Your face felt wet. Ramsay looked around and took you aside. The bell rung and the hallway was nearly empty of everyone save for a few tardy students.
“You’re serious?” Ramsay’s hands fell on your shoulders. You nodded, trying to keep tears back. Ramsay let out a long and slow exhale.
“I’m sorry,” you said through the tears. “I can get rid of it. I’m not asking for anything.”
“Oh shut up,” Ramsay kissed your forehead, almost smiling. “This…changes a lot of things, but we can do this, alright? Stop crying.”
“You didn’t think I would let you do this on your own, did you?” Ramsay tucked his finger under your chin.
“We broke up. Three weeks ago. She found out from one of her friends. Took a picture of us going up the stairs. She wasn’t too happy. I didn’t really care.”
“You don’t care about a lot of things, do you?” you felt anger coursing through your veins. You wanted to slap him. Of course he didn’t care. You let your hand fly until he caught it.
“I care about you, Miss Perfect,” Ramsay said in your face. “I don’t regret what we did that night.” You looked down at your belly and then back to him.
“Not even now?”
“Not even now,” Ramsay took your hand. “Are we doing this or not?”
The summer went by and so did the internship. When fall came, you opted out of going back to school with David and Ramsay. You entered into an online school where you could finish your high school degree. It was easier. Less people.
David was more than happy to help you in every way possible. He wanted to throw you a wonderfully big baby shower. That is, until you were thrown out of the house. Your father wouldn’t tolerate or deal with ‘baby drama’. David and his family took you in.
When Ramsay found out, his heart broke for you and his anger grew against your father. Ramsay moved you in with him and his family. Roose thought you were kind, but naïve. Walda, Ramsay’s stepmother, loved having you around. They were uch nicer and more forgiving than your own family.
When the day finally came, you pushed for hours. You cursed and screamed at Ramsay at first which frightened him. He’d never seen you like that. That day, he made an important mental note to never ever piss you off. You both heard the cries of your little baby girl. She had your eyes, but she barely opened them.
Ramsay and you laid back in the bed, looking down at her and reflecting on the past nine months. Both of you heard a high-pitched squeal to see David. He held an armful of balloons, a teddy bear, and flowers.
“Hi David,” Ramsay greeted. David still squeaked, looking at both you. Ramsay rolled his eyes. “What is it?”
David smiled and like a cute fangirl, he squealed, “I ship it.”
Taglist: @angelicshinigami @sugarwastaken @carilov09@disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @i-theredqueen @sleepylunarwolf@trashpandabarnes @loki-0fasgard @boltonblade
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For a change. I love Internet people for never running out of survey ideas.
Just say what you think of (doesn't have to be one-word answers) when I mention these. Quick, simple, just for fun.
Curtain: I remember a story JM told us of when he nearly burned his house down when he was younger - he was flying paper airplanes but not without lighting the tips on fire. One of the planes landed on the curtain and I think it burned that particular room pretty bad or something.
Door: I have a door to my right at the moment. It’s brown and I know my dog is waiting outside because I can hear his paws.
Shoe: We went shoe hunting yesterday for Joacky, because he wanted a pair of the Nike Cortez. It’s widely popular in the PH right now so even though we visited like 7 shoe stores yesterday, we weren’t able to find one in the color that he likes.
Pants: I finally got a pair of mom jeans yesterday and I can’t wait to wear it for school. I’m tired of wearing the same bottoms.
Wig: I attended a workshop a few months ago where the speaker disclosed that she has leukemia, and she took off the wig she had been wearing the whole time to show us her head. I also remember the RuPaul Stans part of Twitter because they say ‘wig’ all the time...
Makeup: Kate made me her subject last Thursday and she played with my face and put makeup on it. Ended up feeling really pretty because she did a pretty awesome job.
Instagram: I snubbed Instagram for the longest time but thought that a ‘one-pic-for-every-day-of-the-year’ dump account wouldn’t hurt, so I made one of those for 2019. My photography skills are absolutely nowhere to be found, and my gallery is super haphazard, but I really want to make an effort to store memories this year.
YouTube: Hmm first thing I thought of was PewDiePie. I subscribed to the dude when he had like 60,000 subscribers eight years ago and only had a couple of Amnesia montages up. I always feel like a proud momma/early bird whenever I remember how far and how big he’s gotten since.
Life: Exhaustion, mainly. It’s gonna start snowballing by next year when I graduate. It’ll be nonstop from there - facing the prospect of coming out to my parents, graduating, getting a job, getting my first credit card, moving out, paying bills...it’s all very exhausting, exhilarating, exciting, and overwhelming to think about.
Chili: Gabie and I had Japanese for early dinner last week, and I was a little weirded out by the restaurant because each seat had a red chili pepper on the placemat? I’m talking every damn seat in the place??? Idk if it’s some sort of good luck charm for the owners but it made things very slightly unsettling hahaha.
Cherry: There was a WWE Diva named Cherry like ten years ago who had the gimmick of a 50′s chick, I think...I was never quite sure what her character was supposed to be, but she had roller-skates every time she went to the ring and would sometimes wear outfits with polka dots so I thought she was pretty cute.
Neil: Armstrong. Haha I was going through Reddit awhile ago when I saw a video of Buzz Aldrin punch a dude who went up to him and said that the moon landing was a hoax. Not exactly Neil Armstrong but still a good story.
Drive: I like watching car chases. It’s almost...therapeutic when the suspect crashes or loses control of his car and finally gets caught.
Murder: I never got into How To Get Away With Murder. It’s too fast-paced for my life. I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t understand legal concepts because so many people are able to catch up with this show even if Viola Davis speaks a thousand words a minute and they’re all really deep words??? Idk HAHAHA. I watched like two episodes and felt super dumb after.
Ice cream: OMG I hate a la mode desserts. I’d eat anything, but I wouldn’t eat two separate things with different textures. Get your ice cream away from my brownie.
Water: I can’t wait to go back to the beach.
Hard: Hammer? It was the first image to pop up in my head.
Anne: Harry Styles’ mom is named Anne hahaha the Directioner in me jumped out, sorry not sorry.
Cow: There’s this video that went viral a few months ago of a girl who was playing the accordion; all of a sudden this adorable herd of like 15 cows come running up to her and just intently watch the kid. Wholesome af.
Frog: Frog legs are served in some Philippine provinces. Tastes like chicken.
Cheese: My lactose intolerant ass will grate half a block of cheese (exaggeration, but you get the point) for my spaghetti. That’s the only way to enjoy pasta.
Bowl: Can’t really think of anything except that bowl cuts look so cute on babies hahaha.
Television: Is something I never use nowadays unless I’m staying over at a hotel. Other than that, I cannot tell you the last time I held a TV remote control to change the channel or something.
Skull: There’s an episode of Friends where Phoebe brings home a skull and nonchalantly sets it on the table where Monica, Rachel, and Chandler were hanging out. Chandler goes, “Pheebs...skull?” Phoebe says, “Yeah, it’s my mom’s,” and Rachel shrieks until Phoebe clarifies that her mom owned the skull, and that the skull wasn’t of her mom. Underrated segment. Rachel’s mini-meltdown was hilarious.
Seasons: I had to watch Rent for film class several months ago. Terrible movie. Cemented my dislike for musicals. This is what I remembered because afaik this is the musical that has the minutes song.
Language: I can speak two and can understand some archaic/modern Spanish because they conquered us for 300 years and subsequently ruined my country.
Trump: McDonald’s. An international embarrassment.
Chocolate: We found this AMAZING Chocnut spread at the mall yesterday. I had my initial doubts - I thought it was gonna taste like a cheap Nutella rip-off. But it tastes exactly like Chocnut, just in the most perfect spread-y form. I plan to finish the entire jar just with a spoon.
Stove: I’m terribly afraid of using any and every kitchen equipment because I have a big fear of setting the house on fire. I only ever use the stove when I’m deathly hungry and I have to make something by myself.
Toy: My family recently went to a kid’s birthday party that had giveaway bags with toys inside, but seeing as we’re all teenagers now who had no use for it, it was earning dust in the house. Now, the Philippines is abound with street children so when we went out yesterday, my mom gave the bag to a couple of kids who were knocking on our car. I know I’m not supposed to romanticize the situation, but they had the biggest smiles when they realized what they got and I saw them playing merrily at the side of the street and even invited some other kids to join in. Again, not glamorizing it - I’m just happy they were happy.
Video: I could never run out of things to watch on YouTube. It’s one of my favorite websites, especially when bouts of depression have to happen.
Kiss: It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, IT WAS ONLY A KISS.
Glass: The glass section of department stores always creeped me out. One wrong move and you can knock a whole shelf down, and the ‘You break it you pay for it’ signs all over the area don’t help at all.
Light: Light and queen come together in this survey and all I remember is Lightning McQueen.
Moon: Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Moon river, wider than a mile, I’m crossing you in style some day.
Blue: My organization’s color is blue, so I have a soft spot for blue.
Cream: I like soups that are creamy. I say this because my sister had ramen yesterday and it was so oily and salty and fatty and creamy and ugh I loved it.
Dead: The Misfits. They’re more horror than death, but still.
Purple: My great-grandma loved the color purple and I remember when her house used to be peppered in purple stuff. All her dresses were purple. I’m fairly sure it was the reason why it was my favorite color as a kid.
Lace: Underwear, hahaha.
Cardboard: Gabie was munching on sunflower seeds when I picked her up last week. I’ve never tried those, so I asked for some and I said it tasted like cardboard. I’ve never eaten cardboard but I would imagine that that’s what it tastes like.
Elephant: Majestic. Deserves to be saved and properly cared for.
Harry: One of my fave members of the royal family. He’s so precious.
Leather: Is bad.
Paisley: Isn’t there a country singer with this name?
Italy: Pasta and stuff. Joey Tribbiani.
Immature: I saw the gun girl Kaitlin-something on Twitter because she got viral again for a dumb-ass tweet she made. She posted pics of herself in the snow and tweeted “Look at all this global warming,” like seriously America??? Wtf do they teach y’all in your schools??????
Crime: Raisins in cookies.
Angel: I had a friend named Angel - talked about her a lot in old surveys. She migrated to Canada when we were 12 and I haven’t seen her since. We do follow each other on Twitter but all she tweets about is K-pop so I had to put her on mute. Great memories with her.
Boil: When I read this tweet aloud in my head, what I did think of was Charles Boyle from B99.
Key: Key lime pie. Never tried it, but I’m always down to try anything.
Sacrifice: The Catholic schoolgirl in me remembers the crucifixion because textbooks and teachers would overuse the phrase, “Jesus sacrificed his life for our sins” or “God sacrificed his son to save the world,” and all those cheesy lines. It’s as though the Bible’s favorite word is ‘sacrifice.’
Larry: Punk and AJ’s dog is named Larry Talbot.
Psychology: I took one psych elective last semester, but the prof was average at best so it didn’t really win over the course as a whole to me. Psychology was one of my ‘what-if’ courses so at the start, I was excited about taking it - but the class that I had was just so boring and the prof gave tests that were way too hard for otherwise fairly easy topics, so I quickly ran out of enthusiasm for the class.
Rag: I hate touching rags. Especially wet ones UGH.
Sun: Hate it, unless I’m at the beach.
Lips: My friends dragged me to the makeup section of the department store last week and there were rows upon rows of lipstick testers. As someone who’s never purposely browsed for makeup, I ended up swatching like 20 shades on my wrist and looked like a five year old who doodled all over her whole left arm.
Cage: The UFC ring, because it looks like a cage.
Alarm: I had/have several alarms set on my phone throughout today to tell me to start working on various deliverables. For example, I had an 8 AM alarm to work on my J 196 paper; then from 8:30 AM I had an alarm to compose letters that I needed to write as my org’s secretary; then at around 10 AM, my alarm was for finishing up my readings for Kas 154 (short for kasaysayan, which means history).
Official: I have a batchmate from high school who just got engaged...she was honestly one of the weirder ones back then so as much as I didn’t want to judge, it was hard to take it seriously at first, but it’s whatevs. I have no business in her life and I’m happy she’s happy.
King: I finished my history readings this morning and there were so many mentions of kings.
Lost: That show. The general consensus is that they ended the show crappily, but other than that I know nothing about it.
Dating: There was once a dude who joined a dating show. Ended up being a serial killer. I forgot his name though.
Balm: I was at a Korean store yesterday and saw an array of lip balms and glosses. I was never much of a makeup girl but the collection they had was just so cute, it made me think if I should start investing in makeup as well hah.
Tomato: Ketchup is my second least favorite condiment after mustard.
Game: Hmmm I downloaded a bunch of new game apps on my phone because I recently realized that I’m so boring??? and I only have social media on my phone??? I got ten new apps to make my phone more alive haha.
Lotion: Is slimy, but smells nice and makes my skin smooth and look better. I got two hand creams for Christmas last year and it was then that I knew I was getting older because I was genuinely excited to try them both out.
Expensive: Everything is.
Powder: Reminds me of babies. The smell calms me down so well.
Cross: I was shopping for clip-on earrings yesterday and there were several designs with crosses on them, which just reminded me of Christianity and it kinda peeved me for like 3 minutes lol.
History: My favorite subject. I’ve never been so excited to be dumped on with such a thick stack of readings until this semester.
Sex: Haven’t had it in a bit, too busy.
Rainbow: We watched a film called Rainbow’s Sunset, which was really promising because it told a story about two men, both very old, and are lovers. In a traditional, conservative, poisonously Catholic country such as the PH, it’s a very bold move to produce a feature film that tackled such a horrible, taboo, horrifying thing (please note the sarcasm/mockery). We didn’t escape the guffaws and the loud ew’s whenever the two leads would kiss, which was sad.
Anyway that’s not my point and what I really want to say is that the film was ultimately terrible, it was terribly-executed and it portrayed gay men in such a cheesy manner which in the long run, probably contributes to the continuing negative image of LGBT people in the Philippines. Gab, the bigger film buff between the two of us, felt so offended by how bad the movie turned out to be lol.
Bay: Bayley, from WWE. She was a huge star like 3 years ago, but I think the bookers ultimately fucked her character up and now she’s stale. I feel so bad.
Seth: Seth Rollins, also from WWE. Also very attractive.
Pepper: I had okonomiyaki for lunch yesterday and there was like a thicker chunk of pepper that made it to my plate. Didn’t particularly enjoy that bite.
Necrophile: Katie Vick. Google it to believe it. Wrestling is fucking dumb.
Gravel: Funnily enough I do have a memory for gravel. Akeelah and the Bee was one of my favorite movies growing up; I watched it so many times that I had chunks of dialogue memorized at one point. One of the first scenes had Akeelah joining her school’s spelling bee, and one of the kids spelled grovel as g-r-a-v-e-l. He couldn’t understand why he got it wrong so the judge had to tell him that the word ‘grovel’ actually exists and what it means.
Deep: I had a mental picture of the ocean when I read this word, so there’s that.
Bucket: Chum Bucket. Hahaha Spongebob forever.
Grown: I always use the term ‘grown-ass’ haha.
Spell: Spelling was one of my favorite activities in grade school and I would always score the highest in spelling exams. Kind of led me to my favorite job of proofreading/copyediting, really.
Bark: My dog barked at nothing for five whole minutes a couple of days ago and it was hilarious. I shot two minutes of it.
Fan: Pamaypay, or hand fans in English.
Australia: First things that came to mind were the Sydney Opera House and Vegemite.
Iron: Gabie’s nose bled last week. It wouldn’t stop flowing out of her nostrils and it smelled like rust for a good 15 minutes while she was trying to wash all the blood off, so it didn’t exactly help my case as someone who’s squeamish to death at the sight of blood.
Beanie: Too warm for this country’s climate.
Wax: Candles. Vigils. Burning your finger. Staying up all night to pray. Catholic school.
Disease: Zombies. Resident Evil.
Cannibal: The band Cannibal Corpse. Tried to get into them because Punk listened to them but it was too heavy for me.
Flight: Airplanes, flights, vacations, away from everyone, nothing to worry about, good food, fighting with my siblings for the window seats.
Porn: People be having weird fetishes sometimes. The thumbnails I see on websites...some of y’all crazy.
Pot: I thought about how college life is so crazy. People would sell brownies or cookies with weed in them IN SCHOOL, meanwhile I still don’t even know if weed and pot are the same or if they’re two different things ohmygod HAHAHAHA I’m so sheltered wow I’m hopeless??????
Style: Taylor Swift and that subtle shade to Harry. People were shookened five years ago.
Floss: Pork floss is really good.
Star: There was a local celebrity who recently tweeted a pic, supposedly of a tiny tiny star that was beside the moon at like 5 AM, and she was asking what it was. Someone replied that it was Venus and explained what she just saw for her. Super cool.
Nate: I don’t know anyone named Nate. I DID, however, remember the Naked Brothers Band. The older brother is named Nat, so it’s close enough.
Soft: Pillows are soft.
Orange: Hayley Williams’ hair 11 years ago.
Witch: Philippine superstitions and how crazy and obsessive Filipinos can get. My mom, one of the most rational, no-nonsense people I know, scolds me every time I mock witchcraft or what we call ‘kulam’ cos she believes something will happen to me if I do. I’m all for honoring our mythology and traditions but sheesh, not to the obsessive extent.
Root: Gabie used to watch this show where she shipped two girls named Root and Shaw.
Disc: Childhood, blowing on it to make it work, double-sided discs for longer movies, if a disc had scratches expect it to die soon.
Soil: Plants. Planting trees. Muddy.
Ugly: That scene in Spongebo where Patrick tells the story of the ugly barnacle. “Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end,” which didn’t help Spongebob who at the time was feeling super ugly hahahahaha.
Sugar: Maroon 5. Also, my grandma used one particular jar for sugar throughout my entire childhood. It’s plastic, it’s clear, and it came with a red-orange lid. I’d often eat sugar on its own so I saw that jar quite a bit and it gives me a sense of nostalgia. I’m not so sure if that’s still the jar being used in the old house.
Bone: Ribs :( Been craving for some.
Sigh: Air??? I don’t know.
Throne: Game of Thrones. I had to watch a 26-minute documentary of a GoT production for my broadcast management class. It’s insanely hard. So much respect to everyone involved in its prod.
Calendar: I’m secretary for my org, which means that I always have to update everyone about our calendar of events.
Flesh: The Walking Dead.
Vow: The movie with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum. One of my guiltier pleasures.
Sweet: Desserts. And now I’m hungry.
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I thought about leaving this but after thinking about it I was like fuck no.
So I left a comment on a post by this person right? This was about Gia Gunn’s elimination on RuPaul’s All Stars 4. I’ve stated in a previous post as to why she deserved it and why I don’t support her which are obviously valid enough.
When what you put as a post was clearly not just an opinion itself, but insulting to those who agreed that she deserved to go.
‘‘How did you even find me?’‘
...Really? You put up a post and tagged it with things relating to the topic at hand (gia gunn/RPDR/All stars 4, ect) I don’t have to be following you to see your posts either. they were publicly posted.
‘‘When we’re not friends’‘
We..don’t have to be friends to put opinions? You putting up a post, specially about a popular topic within the drag race community will attract more than one opinion?
What does your blog not being popular have to do with it also?
‘‘Just say you hate trans women and leave’’
Now THIS is where you cross the line straight up nasty as fuck.
In no way did I indicate I hate trans women, in no way does Gia being transgender have to do with anything in regards to your post or my opinion and the fact you put that in there is disgusting, you clearly didn’t use your damn brain logic before smashing your head on the keyboard. At that point you sound utterly stupid so thank you for the block and I hope you’re a happy little hypocrite living a carefree life. Thanks for making the drag and LGBT community look even more shit because people like you exist within it.
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RuPaul's Drag Race: The Rusical
After the girls come back in from saying goodbye to the LaLa Ri Experience, Denali is clearly upset to be coasting on safe. From the preview and the clip of the first act that was released earlier this week, I thought that she was going to let that get in her head. Thankfully those thoughts were all wrong because with a little inspo-boost from this week’s special Zoom guest, Princess of Genovia herself - Anne Hatheway. A huge fan of the show, I’m 100% sure that if COVID wasn’t around, she would have been sashaying down that runway in the studio. Alas, she’ll have to wait until the next season...or even the following - seriously, wear a damn mask. I need to see Miss LaLa Ri live before I die.
Anne was there to give the girls advice about being in a musical since you know, girl won an Oscar for her role in one. Once the girls got over getting a peek inside the Princess’s diary, they were off to record with Michelle and rehearse their big Rusical moment based on...social media. While I wasn’t in love with the content as much as I would’ve been say...a Taylor Swift Rusical - next season Ru, come on - most of the performances were that good that I was left with a happy feeling inside. Okay, I did say some because not every queen was able to turn it out.
During their recording session you could see Utica, Elliott, and Symone struggle to get the whole package together, but when it came time to hit the stage - two of them managed to land in the safe zone and one, shockingly did not. I think it was clear as day who the bottom two were going to be, but there was one I did not expect, and that surprised me because I’m usually not rooting for Tina Burner but I didn’t think she did that bad in the challenge and would’ve thought Elliott would’ve joined Kandy Muse and...Symone!
Yes, our resident Top found herself in the bottom while Gottmik made herself proud landing in the top after a couple of weeks safe. It was so well-deserved. As soon as she stepped out in that red blazer wielding that instrument - I was HOOKED. Joining her in the top was her partner Denali...who seemed a little unconfident in the role she sort of got stuck with and didn’t want, and Rose - who got the role Denali wanted (and even “auditioned against” in the Werk Room for and obvi won). Okay, so I was so nervous that we were going to have to replace Jan as the Rusical disappointment/furiosa meme with Rose because they raved over all three of the top girls' looks BUT Michelle clocked Rose’s ode to ‘The Mask’ for looking more on the orange side.
Before we even get to the winner...the looks! Yellow is one of my favorite colors, so I was enthralled as soon as they started walking out. Well, enthralled with the color, some of the looks...not so much. Denali served us Britney’s VMA Python: Where Are They Now? and the judges loved it. Me? I thought it was...
This was the first time that I liked one of Tina’s campy, oversized looks but Elliott had the same idea and did a taxi cab just a little better than her. Gottmik also did sort of a repeat of one of Denali’s bag looks with the whole crash test dummy, and while I loved Denali’s - Gottmik’s makeup and the sex of hers excited me more. As a lover of the ‘90s, I knew nothing was going to top Rose’s for me. I would say it was yellow, Michelle!
Rose’s look was a winner for me, and for Ru because she FINALLY won a challenge and the one she expected to win. While Rose’s win was sort of expected (although I was worried about the freaking orange hue), what wasn’t was Symone being in the bottom. Like, WHAT? I can never go through that level of emotional distress again. So...let’s not, k? In the end, both girls stayed.
I feel like Rose has finally arrived and am interested to see if this win fuels her fire because while next week is a special doc about just how this season came to be during COVID, the next time we see the competition...it’s Snatch Game! I honestly think that’s why Ru kept Kandy around one more week because she’s a TV maker and KNOWS that Kandy is going to make a great addition to that episode; good or bad.
Yellow Gorgeous Looks Ranked:
Rose - Any homage to Jim Carrey is a win to me
Olivia Lux - For the past two weeks I’ve said she’s looked basic, but tonight she looked anything but
Gottmik - Familiar to something we’ve seen, but also...better than what we’ve seen
Utica - Loved all the patterns and her hair
Symone - The jacket and hair SOLD IT
Elliott - Better than the other taxi on the road, but wasn’t that the same shape we saw her walk in the Werk Room with?
Tina Burner - Her best camp but since someone came out a little better, she’s here
Kandy Muse - The sunflowers and the makeup weren’t working for me
Denali - The judges loved the headpiece…
Week 8 Rankings & Reasonings:
Symone - Yes, she was in the bottom but with Snatch Game coming up, we’ve seen her in acting challenges and we know she can turn a runway. I just hope she came prepared with a character she can freaking slay
Gottmik - She has really proven to be quite the character and I feel like she’s going to be able to nail Snatch Game and potentially win it based on previous acting challenges
Rose - With a win finally to her name, it’ll fuel her to reach the top once more with her acting skill
Olivia - The secret assassin over here with the acting chops. I wouldn’t be shocked if she was in the top next time
Utica - I’m hesitant as hell putting her here because remember when she said she was great at improv and then well, talked about Starbucks for no reason during Bossy Rossy? She can be wacky and funny, but it’s making that work in the Snatch Game setting and if she can bottle that weird and not go over the top to the point where no one gets it, I think she’ll be safe again
Kandy Muse - Kandy doesn’t like to be in the bottom. When we’ve seen her there, she rises to the top BUT Snatch Game is where you go over the top, and that’s been something Kandy has had a problem with. I think she may lean towards how Miss Vanjie did and just not do the character, but just be herself dressed as...whoever she does
Denali - This top spot will push her to try hard but acting isn’t where this queen has shined in the past
Tina Burner - I think being in the bottom three will shake her a bit and make her go way over the top with her Snatch Game performance to the point where it’s better than Jiggly Caliente’s but only by a few calibers
Elliott - Acting is not this girl’s thing and if her Snatch Game is anything like her reading challenge, girl…
10, 13, 17, 19 for top 3.
10: Top 3 apps to use
-Tumblr (Obviously, I am on the damn thing constantly. If not to post or browse, just to talk to my people...I have three people I talk to daily who honestly I would be lost without. Y’all know who you are.)
-Pinterest (Am I stalking celebrities? Staring and pretty outfits I can never own? Or torturing myself by looking at flawless fit bodies that I will never be able to look like? You never know, it depends on the day, but Pinterest has me covered! Also they miraculously have GF and DF recipes that aren’t horrible so I rely on this app a lot for that!!!)
-Lose It! (So I recently started tracking my calories and macros again, and to be honest I am a bit obsessive with it, but this app allows me to just enter my food and activity and see where I am at and it projects a date for me to meet my goal weight. I’ve got a lot of medical issues that factor in so that date isn’t accurate BUT I like seeing how healthy choices change that date. I’m a big nerd, I don’t know what else to say!)
13: Top 3 tv shows
It’s like you are trying to ask me to choose between my children. I watch way too much TV and can’t choose top three, so here are some that are popping into my mind...
- RuPaul’s Drag Race (I have so many feelings about Season 10...y’all don’t even know! I will fight to protect Kameron Michael’s honor until the end of days!!!)
- Gotham (I have been binge watching this purely because I saw a very NSFW Nygmobblepot comic on here and I just needed more Riddler and Penguin action...I let them queer bate me and break my heart. The fuckery.)
-The Goldbergs (My whole family watches this one, we all like to point out the ways that we are similar to them. My little sister is definitely Adam...which I think means I’m Barry...we are both Flyers fans but I think the similarities other than being a middle child end there.)
17: Top 3 OTPs
This is an impossibly hard question to answer! I have so so so so many!!! Gah, these are the three popping into my head at the moment, but just know I love so many ships that a true top three is impossible!
-Reddie (I mean, I feel like this one is obvious. These fuckers have my whole damn heart!)
-Stucky (I just love them so much, let Steve be Bi and have a boyfriend, Marvel! You COWARDS! Agent 13 ship is BULLSHIT!)
-Sue Heck and Sean Donahue (I waited for this fucking ship for so long, and the creators of The Middle played with my emotions for the past two seasons and then had them have an on again off again relationship in the epilogue?!?! Are you fucking kidding me???? GAHHHHH.)
19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself
-Caring (I am by nature a very caring person. I will go out of my way to help other people even if I get hurt because of it. My goal in life is to be a positive force and help people, as cheesy as that sounds.)
-Intelligence (This is definitely something about myself that I am proud of, but I try not to talk about it too much. People tend to either try to compete with my intelligence or write it off as me being conceited...but if they knew my GPA when I graduated college they’d stop trying to fight me.)
-I’m honestly having a hard time coming up with a third thing I like right now...I’ll have to get back to you on that, unless someone else has an idea...
Thank you so so much for sending me these, Mila! I love you tons!!! 💖💖💖
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