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tea-at-221 · 3 years

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So, let's delve a bit into the Spanish dub of Supernatural.

I'm going to go through a lot of terms here, and a lot of basics, in order to increase people's level of understanding as to how the dub may possibly have come about the way it did.

This post will provide information and, I hope, allow some members of the fandom to move forward with their own theories with more reassurance. Information is power. I will define and clarify industry terms to the best of my novice ability to make it easier for others who wish to do their own research.

This post was inspired by the fact that I've been part of multiple fandoms in which queerbaiting has played an enormous part: I am tired of seeing fandom friends left devastated and without answers, no emotional resolution in sight. So this post is, in spirit if not content, largely dedicated to my fellow Johnlockers and Queliot shippers. And most of all, for Quentin Coldwater, who deserved not just better but the very best.

Disclaimer: This is my own research and there is a bit of speculation involved; I can't guarantee 100% that I will get everything right (I hit some very frustrating walls looking up what should be easy-to-find facts), but I did a *lot* of work for this. Other people will doubtless be able to clarify points/give better specifics/correct what I've gotten wrong. I am not promising a concrete answer to “SPN gate” here, as without more information than we currently have that is impossible to declare with certainty.

More under the cut.

All that having been said, onwards (see end for sources):

First, who airs the Spanish dub of Supernatural?

Answer: the Warner Channel.

Why? It goes back to who owns The CW.

From Wikipedia (2): "The CW Network, LLC, a limited liability joint venture between the CBS Entertainment Group unit of ViacomCBS; and the Studios and Networks division of AT&T's WarnerMedia, the parent company of Warner Bros., former majority owner of The WB. The network's name is an abbreviation derived from the first letters of the names of its two parent corporations (CBS and Warner Media)."

Warner Bros apparently is the side that handles the delegation of dubbing to outside studios. So, who does Warner use for their dubbing? Perhaps multiple studios, but the two I found in the course of my research were SPGStudios(5) (who specifically handle localization for Latin American Spanish productions) and Iyuno Media Group (formerly BTI Studios)(3).

What is localization?

Simply put, it refers to the translation of the home language of the show in question to the language of the new market it's entering. So, Supernatural 15x18 is translated from its native English to Spanish for Latin American viewers.

And what exactly *is* dubbing (actually called revoicing within the industry; dubbing is a widely-recognized term, however, and it's pretty well understood what is meant by it)?

Here is the Merriam-Webster definition:

"1 : to add (sound effects or new dialogue) to a film or to a radio or television production —usually used with "in"

They dubbed in the music.

2 : to provide (a motion-picture film) with a new soundtrack and especially dialogue in a different language

The film was dubbed in French and Spanish.

3 : to make a new recording of (sound or videotape already recorded) also : to mix (recorded sound or videotape from different sources) into a single recording"

There is a slang term, "dubby," which refers to any overdub that is comically jarring and obviously a dub. The history of dubbing has been such that this has become a way to think of and recognize it: by how awful and ineffective it used to be when it came to foreign films sloppily overlaid with English dubbing.

However, we are in the midst of an age of networks and companies scrambling to play catch-up, eager to use modern technology to create more effective, convincing dubs. In short, they see the moneymaking potential of presenting finished works that viewers may not even realize *are* dubbed without careful inspection. It's true that a good dub is about 10x more costly than subtitling, but it's hard to satisfy the viewer's desire for escapism if they can't suspend disbelief because they're busy reading.

The truth of that is reflected in internal statistics Netflix (for instance, but not just them) parses to gauge viewer interaction and retention with their various shows: when comparing subtitled vs. dubbed shows, it's easy to see which is the winner.(1)

So to be sure there is no nefarious intent here, we would need to be able to identify the following:

A.) What exactly was the process for this dub?

B.) Who decides what changes to make during a dubbing process?

C.) Who approves those changes?

*Can* there be such a thing as a "rogue translator," as Misha Collins put it? (I am going to clarify here that I think Misha is an upstanding person who believed the best of the show he was involved in and all the people who made it, so his assumption of a rogue translator makes sense in the context of that emotion-based reasoning).

I'm not sure which studio did the dub for the Latin American Spanish version of Supernatural; if I had access to that episode perhaps it's mentioned in the credits. You'd think that would be simple enough to figure out anyway, but I was unable. So maybe someone can take a look and let me know. But, as an example, here is how SPGStudios outlines their localization (dubbing) process:

1.) They make a digital or analog transcription of a show/movie.

2.) The translation, or localization, is done by their staff (in any of 40 available languages their staff can speak). When translating, they translate for meaning and then adapt for time, tempo, and style. They say that "extensive experience is required to capture the essence of the language dialog while accounting for variances in speaking time between the source and destination languages." i.e., wording/word choice will be kept as true as possible to the original intention of the native language, but at the same time the translation will need to use its chosen wording in a way that fits what is being shown on-screen. To produce a convincing/pleasing dub, they won't replace a word like "looked" with a longer phrase like "scanned the horizon" because it's not going to match what's onscreen. That would be venturing into "dubby" territory.

3.) They perform the ADR process: the voice actors (in this case it would normally be Guillermo Rojas performing for Dean Winchester, though it appears things may have been different in 15x18, possibly due to covid) record the new dialogue to replace the original actor's performance.

4.) The newly recorded dialogue goes to the sound editorial department "to ensure that lip-synch is optimized and technical aspects of the vocal performance match the original."

5.) All of the new audio--including dialogue, music, and sound effects--is mixed together to emulate the quality of the original production as closely as possible despite the changes in rhythm that resulted from the dialog having been translated.

6.) Designers, animators, and VFX editors assist with the localization or enhancement of graphics, if needed.

7.) Localized Master: SPG has a 'traffic team' who 'ensures that all client delivery and storage specifications are met, including file formatting, labeling, and uploading." So in other words, the files are heavily encrypted (or that's how I read this).

Presumably, after all steps are performed, SPGStudios transfers the show back to Warner, who then distributes it. The other studio, Iyuno, makes it very clear that *they* can coordinate and handle all distribution themselves to a vast number of networks. That means that if the client desires, Iyuno can send the finished product directly out into the world.

There seem to be two types of scripts that can be given to the dubbing company:

1.) "In-Production Dubbing indicates that dubbing production is active in tandem with post production. In-Production Dubbing fulfillment partners should expect potential changes to source materials."(4)

2.) "Final Asset Dubbing indicates that dubbing production takes place after final delivery of the show. All source assets will be in a final state. The dubbing fulfillment partner should not expect any changes to the source materials."(4)

Without knowing which of these was agreed upon for SPN 15x18, it is very hard to say exactly where or if additional edits may have been performed on the original material that weren't performed on the translated material (in other words, earlier draft).

If the studio was given the episode as an In-Production Dubbing project, this could explain why the title of the Spanish translation reflected the original script title, "The Truth," rather than the final title in English, "Despair".

Assuming this difference was unintentional, rather than a calculated marketing ploy re: audience enticement (which seems admittedly unlikely), then yes, it could indicate a screw-up on someone's part. The question is, was the dub company given the task of generating the title card, or did some other graphics department handle that before the project made it to them? If the latter is the case, the choice to add "Me too" instead of "Don't do this, Cas" could be either a conscious choice on the dub studio's part as sort of a nod to what they thought "the truth" was, or could just be them going with what they were given and making their translation choices based on something else, such as rhythm/timing.

SO, could there have been an original script that had Dean say "me too" in response to Cas, which then went through translation and made it out into the world? Teeechnically yes, but one would assume that the original script and original *footage* would have to have arrived at the dub studio together if the script is being transcribed in-house as SPGSTudios outlines in their process. I'm going to reason that the odds of them using a later edit of the visual--one that contained what in this instance we would be assuming was Warner's preferred dialogue ("Don't do this, Cas") yet choosing to stick with their own audio revoicing of the (supposed) original script/visual's "Me too, Cas" with its now subsequently poor timing, seems unlikely.

So either they would likely have to redo the exact same "Me too" audio again (having made the choice to keep the original dialogue, while also having to work under pandemic restrictions re: travel and talent availability) to make everything match the visual footage time-wise, OR, it was simply a matter that the English scene always was just as we saw it, but that the studio chose to interpret the script the way they did and were able to do their timing the first time around to match accordingly.

This still leaves a question in the air regarding the origin and fate of certain clips of Dean's more visually emotive reaction to Castiel's confession that have been floating around the internet. I've only seen very very brief glimpses of them, myself, and I'm not certain that they're really evidence of anything other than more than one take having been done of that scene, which wouldn't be uncommon and doesn't necessarily point to a conspiracy.

I also want to state that in the wake of 15x18, I opted to protect my mental health rather than follow every development/rumor/speculation that cropped up in the aftermath, so there’s probably a lot that I’m leaving out of this post that may be pertinent. Do me a favor and do assume that I know nothing of it. lol

I will also add this about the other studio, Iyuno: they are very careful to state on their site, repeatedly and with great pride, that they are committed to presenting the world with the smoothest, most true-to-the-original localized version of a film or show possible. Quote: "...our entire team of staff wants nothing more than to make every single one of our partner's content feel as if it were never translated." They are not fucking around. They want to please the client. Would they have done something like the translation in question without any direct go-ahead from Warner? It seems unlikely, though they don't outline their process on their site the way SPG does.

Notice that in the SPGStudios process outlined above, there is no mention made of a review step in which the studio presents the translated dialogue to the client for approval re: the new wording. That doesn't mean there isn't a review step; however, without seeing the contractual agreement that was made between Warner and whatever dub studio they used, or knowing Warner's preferred process by some other means, it's difficult to be certain whether or not there was a review process for the translated script. I did find evidence that Netflix reserves the right to review such translated scripts before air.

Speaking of Netflix, I will include here what their translation requirements are, as I did find those. They, like Warner, also use Iyuno Media Group much of the time for dubbing (voiceover style dubbing in which they apparently like to leave the original language audible underneath, so that's slightly different from revoicing, but I'm working on an assumption that the general expectations are the same for both):(4)

"1. Translation Requirements

1.1 Main Dialogue

All main dialogue in the source (original) language should be translated unless specifically noted.

Due to timing limitations, some of the dialogue may be condensed/truncated as long as it retains all essential elements of the plot.

Please refrain from dubbing redundant words such as character names and repetitions.

Additionally, do not recreate laughs, hesitations, reaction noises, etc."

I'm looking at that bit: "Due to timing limitations, some of the dialogue may be condensed/truncated as long as it retains all essential elements of the plot."

So let's say just for argument's sake that this is pretty standard language provided to the dubbing studios. Netflix is a giant, so I'll proceed with that assumption given the lack of more concrete information:

Does it really change essential elements of the remaining plot to have Dean return Castiel's declaration of love? Forgetting about the outside, emotional ripple effect such a declaration was bound to set off in the viewing audience, no. The two characters have no further scenes together, nor does Dean go on in the next episode to immediately embark on a new relationship, or tell anyone that Cas said he was in love with him but he couldn't return it because he didn't feel the same. So technically, no rule was broken. And that is what it comes down to, if you're thinking like a lawyer reading a contract: specifics, not theoretical implications or consequences.

So, possibly what we have is something that was simple to add and easy to get away with/argue for: translated dialog that fit a dub better due to its length, and didn't actually change anything plot-wise (or at least, the argument for that could easily be made). This points to the painful crux of the matter: why would the Spanish version of Supernatural which aired in Latin America allow Dean Winchester to return Castiel's declaration of love with a "Me too, Cas"? Could it *really* be as insulting as the fact that "Yo a ti, Cas" would be a quicker, smoother dub than "No hagas esto, Cas"? ("Don't do this, Cas" in English.) Or did they see something they could get away with, and a reasonable argument to provide for it, so they went ahead and claimed a small LGBT+ victory?

Is someone, somewhere, getting in trouble for all this? Maybe. But could action be taken against them? That would look pretty bad, public-relations-wise, for the party expressing condemnation if that got out. Could Iyuno, or whatever other studio (again, I don't actually know which one handled the dub) theoretically feel a ripple effect from the fallout of this? Could they quietly suffer a drop in acquisitions/revenue for "reasons unclear"? Sure. That sort of thing happens all the time, so theoretically yeah.

Whatever the reasoning behind the decision to have Dean return Cas' declaration of love, surely they didn't have to do it. Surely they could have chosen some other phrase that fit. But they chose to do exactly what they did. I don't know what went down, in the end, or whether censorship was indeed involved, but I will certainly say that I think it was a brave and admirable choice that was made with the Spanish dub. It doesn't undo the "bury your gays" trope of course, but for some LGBT+ audience members it surely provides a sense of validation and maybe even lends a little hope for better representation--which is long, long overdue.

Thanks if you read this far. I hope that even though it’s not perfect it will be helpful in some way.

Sources

(1) https://www.indiewire.com/2020/02/subtitles-vs-dubbing-what-you-need-to-know-1202212800/amp

(2) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_CW

(3) https://www.iyunomg.com/

(4) https://partnerhelp.netflixstudios.com/hc/en-us/articles/115016062708-Dubbed-Audio-Style-Guide-VO-Style-Dubbing

(5) https://www.spgstudios.com/localization

#spn gate #destiel #supernatural #queerbaiting #lgbt #lgbt+#lgbt representation #15x18 #dean winchester #castiel #johnlockers #queliot #queliot shippers #quentin coldwater deserved better #spn family #they silenced you

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impressivepress · 3 years

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What Charlie Chaplin Got Right About Satirizing Hitler

The Great Dictator—Charlie Chaplin’s masterful satire of Adolf Hitler—began filming in September 1939, right at the start of World War II. By the time it was released in 1940, the Axis had been formed, and Nazis were already occupying much of France.

The threat was not at all abstract: critic Michael Wood notes that the movie premiered that December, in London, amid German air raids. The following December, of 1941, would yield its own devastating threats from the air—this time on American soil, which would clarify for Americans the realness of this war by bringing it home.

It was, in other words, a strange moment to be making a comedy about Adolf Hitler—even a satire holding him to account, and even one in which Chaplin himself, who was at that point one of the most famous movie stars in the world, famous for playing the ambling, lovable Little Tramp, took on the role of Hitler. In 1940, Germany and the US had yet to become enemies; feathers, it was worried, would be ruffled by a movie like this. But Chaplin was already unwittingly bound up in the era’s iconographies of evil. His likeness, the Little Tramp, with that curt mustache and oddly compact face of his, had already become a visual reference for cartoonists lampooning Hitler in the press. And he was already on the Nazis’ radar: the 1934 Nazi volume The Jews Are Looking At You referred to him as "a disgusting Jewish acrobat." Chaplin wasn’t Jewish. But he was frequently rumored to be. And when he visited Berlin in 1931, he was mobbed by German fans, proving that his popularity could surpass even the growing ideological boundaries of a nascent Nazi Germany—hence their hatred.

Chaplin was aware of all of this—and of the fact that he and Hitler were born only four days apart, in April of 1889, that they had both risen out of poverty, and that they had enough points of biographical comparison, overall, to spook any sane person. Let’s not overstate their similarities: One of these men would go on to make the world laugh, and the other would go on to start a world war and facilitate the Holocaust. Humorously, that split would come to be echoed in The Great Dictator. Chaplin does double duty, playing the movie's two central roles. One, the character of Adenoid Hynkel, is a Hitler spoof by way of a short-tempered and preposterously powerful personality, a dictator of the fictional country Tomainia. And in the opposing corner, Chaplin offers us a variation on his classic Little Tramp, a Jewish barber who saves a high-ranking officer’s life in World War I and, after a plane accident and years of recovery in the hospital, wakes up to the seeds of World War II being sewn in his country.

The Great Dictator is a classic for a reason. It's startling in its depictions of violence, which stand out less for their outright brutality than for how memorably they depict the Nazis’ betrayal of everyday humanity. And it's renowned as well as for its resourceful and original humor, which combines Chaplin at his most incisive and balletic with raucous displays of verbal wit. This was Chaplin’s first sound film; his previous feature, the 1936 masterpiece Modern Times, was by the time of its release considered almost anachronistic for being a silent film in a sound era. Dictator avails itself of this technological progress, making perhaps its most successful bit out of the way Hitler speaks, the melange of rough sounds and brutish insinuations that have long made footage from his rallies as fascinating as they are frightening.

The Great Dictator understands Hitler as a performer, as an orator wielding language like the unifying, galvanizing power that it is. But it also understands him as a psyche. This of course means it’s full of what feel like sophomoric jokes, gags in which Hitler’s insecurities, his thirst for influence, his ideological inconsistencies (an Aryan revolution led by a brunette?) and zealous dependency on loyalty come under fire. It isn’t a psychological portrait, but nor is it so simple as a funhouse treatment of the coming war, all punchline and distortion.

It’s all a bit richer than that, which might be why The Great Dictator is on my mind this week, as we greet the release of Taiki Waititi’sJojo Rabbit, a movie in which Waititi himself plays Adolf Hitler, not quite in the flesh, but rather as imagined by a little Nazi boy who’s fashioned him into an imaginary friend. I’m not crazy about Waititi’s movie, which is less a satire than a vehicle for unchallenged moral goodness in the face of only barely-confronted evil. But it does, like Chaplin’s film, nosedive into the same problems of representation and comedy that have plagued movies since early in Hitler’s reign. Should we satirize genocidal maniacs? Can we laugh at that? And if so, can the line we usually toe between comedic pleasure and moral outrage—a mix that comes easily to comedy, in the best of cases—withstand something so inconceivable a mass atrocity?

That Chaplin’s movie succeeds where Waititi’s fails is a fair enough point, but comparing most comedians’ work to Chaplin’s more often than not results in an unfair fight. What matters are the things we can all still learn from Chaplin’s work, down to the fact that it so completely and unabashedly honors and toys with the public’s sense of who he is. This wouldn’t be nearly as interesting a movie if the Jewish barber hadn’t so readily recalled the Little Tramp. But because of this familiarity, The Great Dictator feels much the way movies like Modern Times did: like a story about the travails of an every-man who’s suddenly, with no preparation, launched headlong into machinery too great, too complex, too utterly beyond him, for it not to result in comic hi-jinks.

That’s the how barber’s first scenes out of the hospital, as beautifully staged and timed by Chaplin, feel: like watching the Little Tramp turn a corner and walk, completely unaware, into a world war. He sees "Jew" written on his barbershop, for example, but because he’s an amnesiac just released from the hospital, he has no idea why it’s there, and starts to wash it away. This is illegal, of course, and when the Nazis try to tell them so, he, thinking they’re run-of-the-mill brutish anti-Semites, douses them with paint and runs away. Much of the humor, at least in the clearly-marked "Ghetto," where the Barber lives, plays out this way: a terrifying game of comic irony in which what the Barber doesn’t know both empowers and threatens to kill him.

The Hitler scenes, by contrast, are a ballet—at times almost literally—of alliances and petty tasks. The highlight must of course be a scene of Hitler alone, having just renewed his faith in his plan to take over the world, dancing with an inflated globe of the planet, bouncing it off his bum, posing like a pin-up on his desk as the globe floats airlessly skyward. You can’t help but laugh. But that laughter doesn’t mute the brooding danger of it. You see the globe, the ease with which he lifts it up, manipulates it, makes a game of it, and realize that this is precisely what a dictator wants. It's a guileless and child-like vision, from his perspective, of his own power.

The Great Dictator’s famous climax finds these two men merging, somewhat, into one. It’s a rousing speech ostensibly delivered by the Jewish barber, who (for reasons best left to the movie to explain) has been confused for Hynkel by the Nazis and is called upon to speak to the masses. And then he opens his mouth—and the man that emerges is Chaplin himself, creeping beyond the boundaries of character, satire, or even the artificial construct of a "movie," as such.

The speech makes a case for humanity in the face of grave evil. "We think too much and feel too little," Chaplin says. "More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness." You’ll recognize this theme—"more than machinery we need humanity"—throughout Chaplin’s work, and it rings especially true here. Chaplin emerges, fully human, as himself, breaking free of the film’s satirical trappings, to deliver one from the heart.

It’s a scene that plays well on its own, as a standalone speech. For a long while, it was hard to find a version online that hadn’t been modified with dramatic "movie speech" music by way of Hans Zimmer. Youtube comments imply a recent upswing in activity, of people finding the speech anew in the Trump era, and that makes sense. But the scene plays even more strangely, more powerfully, in context, where it’s less easily lent to meme-able political messaging, where it has to brush up against everything else in the movie that’s come before.

It’s startling, frankly. The Great Dictator’s tone to this point never feels so earnest. How could it, what with its balletic Hitler and its foreign dictatorships with names like Bacteria. From the vantage of 1940, Chaplin couldn’t quite see where the war would take us, and it remains the case that some of the film plays oddly—but all the more insightfully for it—today. What’s clear from its final moments, to say nothing of much of the rest, is the power in this tension. Insofar as it can sense but not see the future, you could say that The Great Dictator is a film made in a cloud of relative ignorance. Yet look at how much it says, how far it goes. It makes it hard to make excuses for films made since, which often have the benefit of hindsight yet little of substance to say about what they see in the rear view. We know more, much more, about Hitler today than we did in 1940. Why should we let anyone get away with saying less?

K. Austin Collins · October 18, 2019.

#film #Charlie Chaplin #adolf hitler #the great dictator #vanity fair

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kpopmalereader · 5 years

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new, pt.1 ; nct

• summary: you’re going to be the second japanese idol debuting under sm and can’t speak korean very well, so you’re insanely nervous and shaky about meeting nct and then debuting as the youngest member • pairing: all! • word count: 2219 • to do

new ; pt.1, pt.2

You hold your hands behind your back, trying to hide the very obvious shaking. Your manager and translator talk in hushed voices near the door. You breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, waiting for anyone to break the quiet.

“Ready?” One of NCT’s current managers asks, smiling brightly in the hopes of easing your nerves.

You nod instead of using words, too scared of your voice cracking and betraying your calm exterior that’s already slowly deteriorating.

The manager with the kind smile opens the door slowly, gesturing with one of his hands. “Go ahead.”

You desperately turn towards your translator, wide eyes and pursed lips showing how truly terrified you are.

“It’ll be okay, they’ll all love you.” They speak in your native tongue in a hushed voice, leaning close as if anyone else would be able to understand. “Would you like me to go in with you?”

“I’ll have to do this eventually, right?” You speak in broken Korean, pushing past the difficulty.

“Smart kid.” The other manager nods and tries their hardest to give a supportive smile.

You steady yourself as best you can, clearing your throat once. The clock behind your head ticks much louder than it did before, time seeming to pass too slow and incredibly too fast at the same time. You wonder if there is super glue on the handle as you grab at it. And if you’re shoulder became dislocated during your previous conversation as you find yourself unable to rotate your arm. You take a shaky breath in and manage to turn the handle, hearing cliché ominous horror movie music as the door creaks open.

Dozens of eyes look up at you as you become visible behind the doorframe, each of them looking at you with varying levels of confusion, concern, hope, and worry. Your feet get caught on the rug as you shuffle in the room, shifting between examining everyone in front of you and staring at your own shoes.

The door shuts softly, and you can feel the worry from your manager and translator through the door. You find yourself wanting nothing more than to cop out and run back to them.

Just as you begin to question all of your life decisions, one of the members takes a few steps closer, smiling fondly despite you not having said a word yet. “Hello, my name’s Taeyong, it’s really nice to meet you.”

“You- Me too.” You nod as you speak, trying to make eye contact with him.

He smiles brighter and nods. “I know this can get overwhelming, but we’re all very excited to meet you and get to know you.”

You search for words to say in your head, wondering if even if you could find words to convey what you’re feeling if you should tell these complete strangers about it. Taeyong’s eyes turn gentle and he nods in understanding at your silence, glancing behind him.

“I know you have a translator, but if you’re ever away from them, uhm, this is Yuta.”

Yuta’s smile is different than Taeyong’s. Brighter. Like you are old friends and you just said a joke that was the funniest thing he’s ever heard. Not as fatherly or like a mentor, but someone you could stay up with during nights you can’t or don’t feel like going to sleep.

Yuta starts talking in Japanese, but in your effort to translate as much of the Korean spoken as possible, your shock in the language spoken causes the words to pass your brain, heading right out your other ear.

“What?” You whisper.

Yuta laughs lightly and gestures to himself. “I understand the language barrier and how difficult it can be first coming here, I’m the only Japanese member, but we have Chinese members and American members who all had to go through this too.”

“You’re Japanese.” You repeat, subconsciously taking a step closer.

“I am. I was born in Osaka; my nickname is actually the Osaka Prince.” He smiles and gives a half smolder.

You crack a smile and Yuta takes it as a personal victory, turning around to everyone else in the room. “This isn’t all of us, which I realize, sounds crazy, but we figured just introducing you to a couple at a time would help with the complete overwhelming feeling you probably have.”

One of the multiple members in front of you leans over to another and whispers something, causing him to hold up a finger, almost in warning. You tilt your head at them, but quickly becoming overwhelmed with what to do or say to the rest. You start to chew on your lip and hide your hands behind your back.

The one who did the whispering takes a step forward and smiles brightly, tilting his head to the side in mirror with yours. “Hello! My name is Haechan, but you can call me Donghyuck if you want.”

“I’m Y/N,” You dart your eyes around for a second and your eyebrows begin to pull together. “I don’t have another name- one that people call me?”

“Nickname?” Yuta asks in Japanese and translates into Korean when you nod.

“I don’t have a nickname.” You repeat.

“We’ll find one for you.” Jaemin nods and winks slightly as he leans into Jisung’s shoulder. “We can call you replacement youngest.”

You fiddle with your hands behind your back and squint slightly. “I’m younger-? Are you-”

Yuta raises an eyebrow and you shake your head slightly, thinking through your question.

“Are you upset that I’m younger?” You tilt your head and hope your meaning gets through. “That I took your spot?”

Jisung smiles at you and glares at Jaemin, shaking his head in disapproval and as an answer. “No, I’m not upset or anything, he’s just playing around. I’m actually pretty excited that there’s going to be someone younger than me.”

Jaemin nudges Jisung’s side and winks, beginning to laugh when Jisung pushes him away with light pink cheeks and your expression turns questioning and you seem confused. You look up at Taeyong for answers to your silent questions and he smiles, choosing to ignore the two.

“Those two are Jaemin and Jisung is the youngest, and the only two you haven’t heard from yet are Mark and Johnny,” Taeyong explains, pointing to each.

“We’re both foreigners too.” The tall one, Johnny, gestures to the dark-haired boy beside him, Mark. “I’m from Chicago and he’s from Canada, so we both know how you feel with language barriers.”

You nod slowly and stand semi-close to Yuta as him and Taeyong walk you around the room, introducing you, getting to know you, and talking amongst each other and with you like they’ve known you your whole life. Yuta steps away for a little bit, talking and questioning your manager and translator outside the door, and leaves you to your own devices, after asking if it was okay.

You listen to the conversation between Mark, Jaemin, Jisung, and Haechan, just playing tennis with your eyes as you look between them when one starts talking. Haechan acts a bit more friendly than the others, pushing past the language barrier and the fact that you don’t know each other in strides. The others act friendly, but also a bit like you’re made out of porcelain. Haechan moves closer to you as he asks a few questions and you feel the urge to open up a bit more with him, recognizing something from earlier.

“What did you-” You hesitate but continue after he smiles and nods quickly. You make a gesture with your hand like you’re throwing something over your shoulder. “What did you say earlier to Mark?”

Haechan thinks for a second before smiling brightly. “Oh! I was just saying your smile was really nice, you seemed nervous and seeing you smile for the first time made an impression on me.”

Your ears go red as you nod and stare at the ground. “Oh… thank you.”

Yuta joins you two when he notices your blush, raising an eyebrow. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing~” Haechan hums and winks at you, rejoining the conversation happening beside him.

You giggle and look up at Yuta, a tiny smile playing at your face. He nudges you with his shoulder and leads you to the other side of the room.

“So, everyone being nice?” He asks in Japanese, sitting next to you and gesturing to everyone across the room.

You nod quickly. “Yes, I did notice… I’m new still, so they didn’t joke with me as much. They’re tip-toeing.”

Yuta smiles and ruffles your hair gently. “They’ll get used to you and start acting like they always do. You’ll become quick friends with everyone.”

A few days later, after slowly getting used to the seven you met previously, you’re thrust into meeting even more people. You knew it was inevitable, but that fact doesn’t make you any less nervous. You pop your knuckles as you stand at the door, needing to do any kind of action besides running away.

Taeyong pats your back. “Hey, calm down.”

You nod and put your hands behind your back, though you’ve heard many times now that it doesn’t really hide your little movements. “I want them to like me.”

“They will.” Yuta leans over your shoulder. “And I’ll be in there with you.”

Taeyong smiles brightly and nudges you with his elbow. “Yeah, and he likes you more than he likes anyone else, he’ll fight them if they’re mean to you.”

You giggle softly when Yuta strikes a fighting pose.

The brief distraction from your impending doom is welcome but goes away again as Yuta and Taeyong strike up a conversation. You try your hardest to listen in on the backstories of the people you’re about to meet but can’t tear your attention away from staring at the door. You breathe in deeply and relax your shoulders when Yuta slings his arm around you. The seemingly simple movement helps to make the ground stop swaying and you’re more than eternally grateful for it.

You nod for him to open the door, knowing if you opened your mouth, your voice would crack and betray your fake-steady attitude. He opens it slowly and leads you inside, standing much taller and more confident than you.

“Jaemin and Haechan were right.” Chenle half-whispers, knowing full well you can hear him. “He’s really cute.”

You try to find a way to hide your bright red ears but can’t think of anything and instead slowly move closer to Yuta to hide. Jungwoo fights the urge to coo at you and, along with Taeil, steps up first.

“Taeil is our oldest, though he doesn’t act like it, and Jungwoo is one of our members known for cuteness, so you two have that in common.” Yuta nudges you and gestures to each.

“It’s kind of weird getting to know someone younger than Jisung, makes me feel old.” Taeil reaches his hand out to shake your hand and you oblige but turn to Yuta in a question.

“Hm?”

“Weird?” You repeat the word in Korean and shake your head. “I don’t think I know that one.”

Yuta translates and you feel a bit dumb on not knowing that word and it must show.

“It’s okay if you don’t know what some words are, you’ve only been learning Korean for a few months, right?” Chenle smiles brightly and shrugs his shoulders. “I’ve been learning since 2016 and I forgot easy words all the time.”

“All I speak is Korean and I still get confused.” Jeno offers as you start introducing yourself and walk around the room. “Learning another language is really difficult, give yourself more credit. I don’t think I could tell you what weird is in Japanese.”

You say the word in Japanese without thinking, just trying to help him out. Jeno laughs softly and holds his hand over his heart.

“Thanks.”

Your cheeks join your ears in color, and you start to fiddle with your hands again.

“It was cute, I like how effortless it seems for you.”

You talk to everyone else in the room for a bit and after meeting Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Renjun, you and Yuta rejoin Taeyong in the hall.

“Are they always so…?” You push up your shoulders slightly in a silent question.

“Flirty?” Yuta asks and you nod slightly. “I think it’s just because you’re new and cute, but they might always be like that with you.”

“Now all you have left is meeting WayV and you’ll know everyone.”

You nod slowly. “Friends.”

“Yep, you’ll be friends with everyone after.”

“And once again, I’ll be with you to translate.”

“Who do I go to- if I need help- and you- if you’re not there?” You speak a lot more broken than you have been and physically take a step back. “One more time.”

They both give friendly smiles and nod for you to try again.

“If you’re not there, who do I ask for help?”

“Anybody,” Taeyong nods as he answers. “We might not understand fully but we’ll try our hardest.

“And if they don’t an answer you can ask me later. Everyone’s here to help.”

You nod and walk along with him, continuing to trail Yuta as you have been for the past week of knowing him.

#nct #kpop #kpop scenarios #nct x reader #male reader #nct imagine #nct scenario #kpop male reader #kpop x reader #kpop x male reader #nct male reader

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francescasportfolio · 4 years

Text

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (2009) REVIEW PART ONE (CHAPTERS 1-4)

Set in the Second World War, a group of spunky, vengeful Jewish-american mercenaries navigate their way through enemy territories, killing every Nazi they come across, combined with a grief ridden jewish girl, a German double agent movie star, and a chilling anti-hero. If the Basterds’ German fiends are smart enough to give them the information they want, they give them a special mark to ensure they remember their nationalism for the rest of their lives.

Tarintino works in his usual way of chapters, splitting the story into neat chunks and carefully constructing the tension, so at that last chapter (in this case CHAPTER 5) the audience is ready to fall off their seats in anticipation.

CHAPTER ONE

Interestingly, our story doesn’t commence with an introduction to our protagonists, but with a dairy farmer named LaPedite accused of hiding Jews and the ‘villain’ of our story COLONEL HANS LANDA OF THE SS. The farmer seems on edge and somewhat acknowledges his fate, yet Landa introduces himself very politely, complements the farmers daughters and asks before doing anything inside the farmer’s house. However, Tarintino drops in slight peculiarities to ensure we understand who Landa is, for example, he only shakes the hand of the daughter with blonde hair and blue eyes-- the only one who looks aryan. Landa makes small gestures like grabbing the daughter’s arm who is getting him wine, although masked with a kind comment, Landa’s power is being asserted. The Colonel himself, is telling the farmer that he is the weak in this situation, yet leads LaPedite to believe he is in a position of power with his meticulous manners.

But, Landa places another finger on LaPedite’s throat as he asks him to switch to speaking english, although both are more comfortable in french. The audience is always posed with the question ‘Does Hans Landa know?’, does he know that the Jews under the floor boards cannot speak english?

Landa is terrifying because the audience can never quite tell if he is ignorant or not, everything he does points to him being so until the moment he reveals he knows more than you ever thought he did. In this chapter, we see this when he sets about asking questions to LaPedite about a jewish family, the Dreyfus’, they seem easy and uncompromising until the camera lowers underneath the floor boards where the family lay, trying to catch their breaths in their mouths. Landa continues and confirms the interrogation is complete, LaPedite has kept his cool and made it through. Until, Landa asks for another glass of milk, and the tension is drawn out making us squirm in anticipation. The score builds, and Landa utilises the Dreyfus’ incompetence in english to create a ‘masquerade’ which will ensure they are executed. Hans ushers LaPedite’s daughters back inside, thanking them for their service, but like Landa’s other scheming up until now, everything is not quite as it should be. German soldiers gather around the floorboards and the music explodes with the sound of gunshots, which feels vaguely reminiscent of Hitchcock’s suspense filled scores. Tarintino does an excellent job of using framing and shadow to visually show us Landa’s brooding presence over our story. More intriguingly though, is that Landa lets one of the family get away, Shoshanna, who will hold great importance later in the film. He aims at her before playfully pretending to shoot, Landa takes great pleasure in other people’s distress, like a child playing with toys.

CHAPTER 2

Finally, we are introduced to the Basterds and Aldo the Apache, Aldo explains the premise of their mission and a ‘debit’ each of the Basterds owe him. One hundred Nazi scalps. What is interesting about Tarintino is his creativity with violence, unlike typical slasher movies the gore in Tarintino films is in context, it holds a deeper connotation to the character or situation. For example, Aldo and his Apache Indian style techniques, or Shoshanna and her use of fire later on in the movie. Moreover, although there is a large volume of Basterds, the majority of them are characterised by a particular event, object, or name. In the ‘ditch’ where the Basterds have ambushed a Nazi patrol, we are introduced to nearly all the Basterds. Most notably, Hugo Stiglitz, who gets a whole tangent dedicated to his origin story. This movie is so fun to watch because it is self aware, it lets you know you are watching a movie, we see this through the on screen text and out of context distorted guitar that lets us know who Hugo Stiglitz is as a character in our story. Moreover, Utivich is good at scalping, Hirschberg is tiny with a massive machine gun, Wicki can translate and Donowitz is known as the ‘Bear Jew’. The scene progresses and although we have already been introduced to Sergeant Donowitz, we are informed of his character as the ‘Bear Jew’, Tarintino’s dialogue is snappy and unconventional, it sounds more like crass poetry than conversation, using alliteration and rhyme which makes his scripts so memorable. We also get some insight into the nature of the Basterds, although they are living in great times of terror and hardship, they laugh in the face of adversity. They make fun out of the patriotic germans that refuse to divulge information and cheer as Donny beats them to death as a result.

CHAPTER 3

Shoshanna is still bitter four years after the massacre of her family, working at a cinema. We are introduced to a new character, Fredrick Zoller, a happy-go-lucky Nazi soldier who takes an interest in Shoshanna. Zoller seems sweet, and somewhat charming, perhaps he mistakes Shoshanna’s dismissing behaviour for mysterious charm and a cold exterior wanting to be broken into. However for shoshanna, we know it isn’t so romantic, he represents a psychotic regime that killed her entire family. Tarintino employs a specific trait of his writing that makes it so unique, the characters have a seemingly innocent conversation about German cinema, as Shoshanna’s cinema is playing one of Zoller’s favourite directors. Shoshanna shares her mixed feelings about the movie Piz Palu and through this minutiae, Shoshanna lets Zoller know her actual mixed feeling about the Germanic position. Zoller seems unaffected, not listening to the actual substance of Shoshanna’s argument, so he goes on. Zoller asks for her name, her paper’s say ‘Emmanuelle Mimiueux’, and he presents himself, surprised at Shoshanna’s little reaction and so he leaves.

The next day, Zoller’s presence in the movie is instated. We are in a bar, with Shoshanna and he is there at the window, waving. He is becoming a pest. He comes in to see Shoshanna, when they are interrupted by a wave of excited german fans, all asking for Zoller. Zoller is a Germanic war hero, he explains rather proudly his exploits, and even shares that Dr Goebbels is making a movie about him. Shoshanna is pushed over the edge of tolerance and storms out, leaving Zoller confused, but unfortunately, wanting more.

Until now, Zoller has been relatively chivalrous, complementing Shoshanna and somewhat respecting her boundaries but Tarintino doesn’t want us to forget he is still a Nazi war hero. Instead of asking her in person, Zoller sends a Gestapo Major to force Shoshanna into a car, not knowing the meaning of the endeavour. We find Shoshanna at table full of Nazis, meeting Dr Goebbel’s himself. The entire scene is now from Shoshanna’s perspective, a calculated move to ensure that the audience feels the same dread she is feeling, when Hans Landa eventually enters. She had been called to this meeting to convince Dr Goebbel’s to change the premiere of Zoller’s film to her cinema. In this scene, language is also used as a device to upkeep interest in the situation, having Goebbel’s being only able to speak German and Shoshanna, French.

Later, when a dolly shot looms up to Landa, we feel the atmosphere change from a hazy uncomfortableness to honest dread. Landa persuades Zoller to let Shoshanna stay, as he must talk to ‘Mimieux’ about security measures. Everything checks out, the others leave. Landa then commences a mind tournament with Shoshanna, interrogating her by the condolences of her dead aunty and uncle Mimieux. Shoshanna keeps up and doesn’t break a sweat, however, Landa orders Strudel and a glass of milk for Shoshanna. Landa forgets what he wanted to ask her, but puts his cigarette out in the strudel. He knows and Shoshanna knows that he knows. The waiting and the silence is where the real terror lays, this is because there is a factor of uncertainty-- and Tarintino abuses this terrifically.

Shoshanna will host the premiere of Nation’s Pride, herself and Marcel, her projectionist devise the 350 35mm Nitrate Film Scheme. The main aim, to burn it down.

CHAPTER 4

Next, we travel to England, meeting our new foreign exchange basterd, Archie Hicox. Tarintino uses yet another expositional sequence that is disguised as a formal chat with his General, Ed Fenech. Hicox explains he was a film critic before the war, and adds another force to our Nazi Vendetta, he is to be apart of the english operation KINO with the German movie star, Bridget Von Hammersmark. The aim of the game is to blow up the basket full of their rotten Nazi eggs at the Nation’s Pride premiere, and Hicox is to join the basterds and Hammersmark in France.

Their rendezvous is in a basement tavern, the German speaking basterds and Hicox pose as Nazis to meet Von Hammersmark. Aldo and Donowitz share some concerns, alerting the audience, Stiglitz is calm but sharpening his knife, Hicox tries to reassure them but it seems to fall flat.

The opening shot of the La Louisianne Tavern is of drunk German soldiers, which Hicox assured us there wouldn’t be. The scene is doomed from this point on. Von Hammersmark sits casually with the drunken soldiers, reacting to a comment a soldier makes, replying ‘the character is the character’, although she is german herself, she tells the drunken Nazis her position nonchalantly through the silly game they are all playing and they applaud her for it, missing the subtext of course.

Eventually, she joins the basterds, and they attempt to discuss the developments of Operation Kino, almost getting to the end of her sentence before being interrupted by a soldier, Wilhelm, that has had a baby and wants her autograph. He pesters their table for a while longer before Hicox looses his temper, talking for a sustained amount of time, enough for the drunken soldier notices his peculiar accent. This is where the magic of Tarintino’s writing resides, the terms of which turn the scene sour are so particular to the situation that they become iconic. The scene progresses as our Gestapo Major that we met earlier reappears, what is interesting about Hellstrom is his similarities to Landa. He plays with the minds of the characters surrounding him, interrogating Hicox about his accent as his first introduction, however this is where he sets himself as a weaker antagonist than Landa. Our characters already know they should be weary of him, so all his friendly actions and notions to play drinking games seem slimy.

We can see the other characters losing their cool now, Stiglitz’s distorted theme tune is coming back with some flash scenes of the atrocities he faced at the hands of Nazi’s. The drunken soldiers are still loud and raucous and Hellstrom is still being arrogant, making jokes that aren’t funny. Throughout the scene, Tarintino has dropped some visual breadcrumbs for us to pick up along the way, Von Hammersmark’s shoes, the Scotch, her autograph and now, Hicox’s final mistake. Hellstrom urges them to try some Scottish Scotch, asking for new glasses but not wanting one himself. Hammersmark opts for champagne, so three glasses are needed. Tarintino again illustrates his ability to take the nuances between cultures and shape them into plot points. Hicox signals for the english three finger gesture, as opposed to the German. He tries to cover it up, but he and Hellstrom are now in a Mexican standoff with Stiglitz not being able to help himself but join in.

Hicox finishes his scotch, and the scene erupts in a complete shoot out. No Basterd survives. One thing that I have always found bittersweet about Tarintino’s work is his lack of remorse for killing off main characters, they always make sense and move the story along, but are still a bit of a downer when you were starting to get attached to the character.

The aftermath reveals Wilhelm, the new dad and Von Hammersmark shot in the leg, but alive. After making a deal with Aldo for Hammersmark, Wilhelm is killed by Bridget on account of him calling her a traitor. She gets away, but the plan is ruined. A short interrogation with fingers in bullet holes and the reveal of the development in operation KINO being the Furher attending the Premiere, propells our characters into a ‘How-I-broke-my-leg-mountain-climbing-story’ for Hammersmark’s injured leg, and Aldo and the film star settling on her escorts being Italian over German, the plan isn’t foolproof but the Basterds can brazen through it, so they think.

The last part of our chapter is brief but integral, Landa visits La Louisianne Tavern. We see a different side of Hans Landa, as he was a detective before the War, it is almost as if he is arriving at a crime scene. Scanning the blood-soaked, basterd filled room, he finds the autograph signed Bridget Von Hammersmark. We are now informed, that Landa knows.

#inglourious basterds

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slowianeczka · 5 years

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Hi, Karolina! I've got ton of questions again. (Somebody, stop me!) 1) What are top 5 Polish singers/music bands you can recommend? I only know Czesław Niemen and Annna German (admire both of them) but that's such a limited list! Definitely need to explore more Polish music. 2) Top 5 favourite movies? 3) Top 5 books you've read this year? 4) Top 5 suggestions for learning basics of the Polish language? 5) Top 5 reasons to study French, in your own opinion?

I loove questions!

Top 5 Polish singers/bands(I can’t add more because there are not many Polish singers or bands I can say I listen to :c There are just random songs here and there.)

1. Enej - mix of folk and rock music. Favourite: Może będzie lepiej, Dzisiaj będę ja, Symetryczno-Liryczna 2. Dawid Podsiadło - I can’t say I’m a total fan but I like a few of his songs and unlike many other artists, lyrics actually mean something. Favourite: W dobrą stronę, Pastempomat, Powiedz mi że nie chcesz

Top 5 movies(Maybe not necessarily top 5 because there are others and I watch way more tv shows)

1. Legally Blonde (can’t say why but it just relaxes me)2. Nie lubię poniedziałku (I don’t like Monday; Poland 70s, some understanding of Polish reality of that time and sense of humour recommended)3. Black Swan4. any 1-3 Indiana Jones 5. K-19

Top 5 books this year

1. The Picture of Dorian Gray2. Wuthering Heights3. In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler's Berlin4. Vanity Fair5. Dans la tête de Vladimir Poutine

Top 5 suggestions for learning basics of the Polish language (I’m a native so I’m probably not the best person to answer this, other non-native learners may be more helpful in the topic but let’s try)

1. When learning vocabulary, try to divide words into categories like “the same like in Ukrainian/Russian”, “similar”, “different” (yes, now I’m speaking of kind of my own experience of learning ua and ru; pay less attention to the words which are the same, more to false friends). It may make things less confusing and more structured. The same goes for grammar e.g. conjugation/declension endings (they were very similar in Russian, a bit different in Ukrainian, comparing to Polish)

2. However, don’t learn endings by heart. I noticed that many people learning Polish do it and in my opinion it doesn’t make sense. It’s better to learn the general rules and try to “feel” the right answer while using them in context (e.g. by making sentences). You’ll get it eventually with time.

3. Write. Even if you think you’ve got limited vocabulary, write anything, using all the grammar and words you know at the moment (use a dictionary if you need it).

4. Immerse yourself, mostly try to read and listen as much as possible.

5. Don’t hesitate to ask any natives here, Polish people are generally happy when someone learns their language!

Top 5 reasons to study French

1. It may be not the most important thing in the world because if one likes the language, will learn it anyway but it’s just useful, especially when it comes to diplomacy.

2. You can surprise those French freaks you understand what they say behind your back (and just make them happy when you can help them in their own language - extra points: in foreign country) ~ Montenegro trip 2019.

3. That satisfaction you’re able to read French books in original and watch videos on yt and movies/shows.

4. It just sounds nice (but I wouldn’t call it the most beautiful in the world, sorry Frenchies, there are also different languages).

5. I can compare “French French” to e.g. Quebec French and I find it interesting.

#ask game #спасибо / дякую!

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letterboxd · 5 years

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Jungleland.

“You’re in the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen, but it’s hell.” Colombian filmmaker Alejandro Landes takes us deep inside the extreme filming conditions of his acclaimed jungle thriller Monos, and the art of letting life come onto the page.

Alejandro Landes’ second fictional film Monos follows a ragtag group of Colombian teen soldiers enlisted to care for an American hostage known as Doctora (played by Julianne Nicholson) and a conscripted milk cow, but struggling to function under power-trips and adolescent recklessness.

The film has been gathering awards all year, including Sundance’s World Cinema Dramatic Special Jury Award, and praise for Mica Levi’s score. Monos is Colombia’s submission for the Best International Feature Film Oscar (the Academy Award category that, until last year, was known as Best Foreign Language Film). Hot on the heels of last year’s Birds of Passage, Monos is a fresh source of pride for Colombian movie lovers.

With Landes’ raw approach, Monos belongs in the same club of gritty war films as Apocalypse Now, Full Metal Jacket and Come and See. Letterboxd members dig its “captivating, alluring atmosphere” and “the immensely physical performances”; it’s “a brutal, unflinching fever dream that takes you hostage for 102 minutes.”

‘Monos’ director Alejandro Landes.

We caught up with director Alejandro Landes, a journalist-turned-documentarian who has made his way to dramatic cinema, and asked him to take us into his experience of making the film.

What inspired this jungle thriller? Alejandro Landes: Coming from Colombia—a country that’s had six years of civil war—inspired the idea of making a film that is in part a war film. The nature of that conflict that’s in the shadows is very similar with what’s happening with war today. It doesn’t have those epic front lines that maybe our great-grandparents or grandparents experienced in WWI or WWII. Most operations are done by special forces or drones in Syria, Iraq or Afghanistan.

The idea of creating a film from the backlines is something that speaks to my generation, and creating a mirror to the conflict of adolescence when you’re between a child and being an adult. You want to belong but also be alone, hair comes out of places, your voice changes—and so the film is this exploration of this borderline.

You’re in the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen, but it’s hell. You don’t know if they’re fighting for left-wing guerilla forces or the right-wing paramilitary force. I wanted to create this allegory where you’re forced to latch onto the humanity and presence of the characters instead of a big ideology. That was very much what drew me into the film.

When it comes to the back-stories of the characters, and even the time and place where it’s set, you leave a deliberate ambiguity. What motivated that decision? Many times we latch onto first names and last names, ages, dates, names of places, because they make us feel safe. They’re kind of stickers. Like when you fill out a sheet at a job application or at a doctor’s office. But these hard facts can feed into your prejudices. I thought it was interesting because the world is so polarized today.

You don’t know if Doctora is a CIA operative or an NGO officer. You can’t look at the character through the lens of their occupation, or their last name even. That’s why the characters have a nom de guerre and I think that for me was key for the metaphor to act subversively and kind of just work against any prejudices you might have.

We always want back-stories to justify and explain actions and a lot of the time it ends up being expository or a filmmaker’s psychoanalysis. Here, I wanted to enforce something very radical which made people feel uncomfortable in war. I wanted you to experience it from the humanity of a group which is basically the lowest rung of the ladder—and many times they are kids.

As fantastical as it sounds, it’s actually very common. I read a lot of first-hand accounts of people who had been kidnapped by well-known organizations and although the high command had been the one negotiating—be it for political leverage or money—the day-to-day custodianship ended up being the youngest soldiers. The people that were kidnapped experienced being in the hands of kids going through their adolescence and it was a peculiar situation.

The film relies on its ensemble, so you really depended on efficient casting. What do you think it was that pulled these young actors through the brutal challenge to be a part of this film? I think it was the time that we spent together before we even started to shoot. I looked at over 800 kids all over Colombia and ended up bringing that down to about 25. We did a mock training camp and had them do acting improv exercises in the morning. They were doing pieces of the screenplay without knowing they were scenes from the same script. They thought they were random exercises.

In the afternoon they would do military drills; not classic military boot stomping, but sometimes dancing, barefoot drills, carrying a weapon. We were trying to create this clandestine army and by seeing them live together I was able to see who flirted with who, who fought with who, what chemistries there were, and that way we were able to build the group who would be the final eight.

During this process of the boot camp we wrote the screenplay, trying to bring the lives of each one of them [into it]. I knew that Boom Boom was a big hip-hop dancer. I knew that Rambo’s most important thing in her life is her brother. Certain things helped the screenplay and the emotional states that the actor would later go into during the shoot.

What were you looking for when recruiting the Doctora role, and why did Julianne Nicholson fit the part for you? I thought [Julianne] had this very loveable sweetness to her, and I thought it would be a challenge to take that sensitivity with the maternal instinct that she had with her captors and turn it violent. She was willing to bring that physicality to the screen and she’s got that iconic look to her that reminded me of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I thought of the film as a sort of fairytale. I thought the way Julianne was able to portray that switch was something we haven’t seen on screen.

She was also willing to go down [to Colombia] and make it happen. That was a big thing. She spent time with the kids to really be there for weeks in these incredibly tough conditions. She was willing to go, not just when it was her scenes, but she spent time in [Doctora’s] cell. She drew all the charcoal paintings you see in her room, they were done by hand by her.

Much of the drama depended on your choice of shooting locations. How did you shape the narrative around these limitations and how did shooting in these remote places affect the cast and crew? Shooting 13,000 feet [above sea level], there was really very little oxygen up there. Going down to the jungle canyon where you have to take a donkey, take an off-road, take a raft, take a kayak all the way to reach base-camp. Everyone is at their limit. On the first day of shooting, we had to bring someone down from the camera department who had an epileptic fit. I needed to be carried out of the jungle [due to suspected appendicitis] on the shoulders on these gold miners that were there. They taught us how to live on the river.

Something the locations gave me that was really special was the narrative arc of the film. That highlands you see in the beginning, it’s a big reservoir of water which is a very delicate ecosystem called páramo. The water trickles down the mountain and gains more speed until it reaches the currents in the lowlands. That path of water was what we were following in the film. The idea of how a river moves in a winding way with different speeds and velocity was what we were trying to echo in the structure of the edit.

Remember too, that once the water reaches the lowlands, it condenses, goes up to the clouds and comes down again in the highlands. So in a way there’s something about the cyclical nature of violence and the circular movement of water that made sense to me. That all sounds great but it’s another thing to make it work in the edit, and we really worked hard so you never thought you were looking from the back of the river—you were always in the river.

The look of the film is remarkable. The clouds, the silhouettes, you have a literal ‘fog of war’. How did you set out to achieve this? The important thing is to look at what was in front of you. My first film was a documentary. I didn’t go to film school so making that film was my film school and a documentary forces you to look at what’s happening in front of you. As much as we had a very detailed screenplay and everything storyboarded, the locations change on a dime so we couldn’t count on luck every day.

We had to just to be there, be present, and have the confidence to move on, switch and let things come into the page. If a scene was under sun, and then on the day all you get is fog and rain, you discover a new way to come into the scene and let life come onto the page.

Mica Levi [also known as the musician Micachu] has already gained a strong reputation for film composing. How did you manage to wrangle her for Monos? Mica came on board after seeing a rough cut of the film. She connected immediately with it. I didn’t think it needed music but she was on it very quickly. She sent me a very epic whistle that reminded me of spaghetti westerns. The idea was to create something that was minimal but at the same time had that monumental, epic feel.

We wanted to juxtapose those very primal, basic sounds like blowing into a bottle with a quartet of strings, and later you have sounds that are a shot of adrenaline that sound like they could come out of a Berlin nightclub. That mash of sounds I felt was very important; it allowed you to give emotional cues to the characters, similar to [Sergei Prokofiev’s story-symphony] Peter and the Wolf. It was great working with her and my sound designer Javier Umpierrez because we were trying to make this soundscape that was specific but also otherworldly.

Monos has been submitted for Best International Feature Film at the Oscars. That must feel good. All these prizes help the film get seen and that’s an important thing. This is a film that started on a shoestring and we were trying to build something very radical. It’s a film that was done through absolute blood, sweat and tears of these people who believed in it so I’m just glad that it’s finding its public—and the fact that we’re distributing pretty big in the US for a Latin American film.

It’s going to open in more than 30 countries and it’s blowing up in the Colombian box office, which is really special because Colombia still hasn’t really seen their cinema. It’s a polarizing topic to have a war film after everything they’ve lived. Having more than 200,000 people go to see it in its first three weeks is a huge thing. For a point of comparison, it’s the same amount of people who went to see Tarantino’s film [in Colombia].

What film made you want to become a filmmaker? Wow. That’s your toughest question. I don’t know if I can point to one exactly. When I was young my dad wouldn’t let me watch TV. We had the apparatus but not cable so he had his own movies and I remember he had that German submarine film Das Boot. I watched it so many times I started to see the stitches of how it was made and that got me onto thinking “ah, okay I understand this, I like this”. I’ve never watched it in a movie theater, that would be cool.

Das Boot has a similar atmosphere to Monos so it’s an interesting choice for you. Yes, those were the films I was thinking for my second fiction film. I think it comes from that part of time when I watched those epics, including some David Lean films.

‘Monos’ is released by Neon and is screening in US theaters now. For more Colombian films, check out ‘Colombian Cinema: Six of the Best’, a list made for Letterboxd by ‘Birds of Passage’ directors Ciro Guerra and Cristina Gallego.

#monos #colombia #colombian cinema #paramo #julianne nicholson #alejandro landes #jungle thriller #letterboxd

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elves-n-angels · 6 years

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Sebastian Stan’s Musings on Life in August Man Malaysia Issue 115

APRIL 18, 2018

Sebastian Stan is a humble man. Humble to a fault. One couldn’t imagine a superhero from the Marvel Cinematic Universe played by such a down-to-earth, unassuming man. But since 2010, Stan has played Captain Bucky Barnes, who had his big break as a leading character in Captain America: Winter Soldier. Maybe that’s how Marvel and Disney trick us into seeing these movies: they hire nuanced, thoughtful actors and not just action stars. Resistance is futile.

This year is shaping up to be a big one for Sebastian Stan, with new roles where he gets to show his acting chops, such as his turn in I, Tonya, where he plays the scheming husband of the title character, and a lead role opposite Nicole Kidman in Destroyer. Although he lives in New York, Stan frequently travels to Los Angeles for work, and it is during one of his westward treks that we caught up with him, in the penthouse of the Shangri-La, a luxurious beachfront Santa Monica hotel.

You’re originally from Romania. It’s a country sometimes viewed as the Latin country of Eastern Europe. Do you have a bit of Latin/romantic in you? Yes. I was born there and I left when I was eight. Then I lived in Austria for four years and then I came to the US in 1995.

I’m originally from France. Romanian is also a Latin language, like French. Romanian is a little bit closer to Spanish and Italian, with some Slavic stuff added. I’d say the filmmaking there is seemingly close to French style. It’s sort of deep. Tragic stories about suffering! (Laughs) It’s like the real life. I’m a fan. I love a lot of foreign movies. I’m trying to reeducate myself of what’s going on there, and I’ve watched more Romanian movies lately.

Are they offering you parts over there? No. I’m actually going back. First time I’m going back since 2004. It has been 14 years. I still speak the language fluently, although I have an accent. I’d like to find something one day potentially to reconnect. That’s the plan. I’m going back for their film festival. It’s nice to haveI, Tonya screened there. It’s a good reason to go. One of my goals is to meet with these filmmakers, get to know them. You never know. We’ll start a conversation.

I read your mum is a pianist. Did that play a part in you choosing an artistic path for your career? I don’t know. When we were in Austria for a little bit of time, in her mind she had always seen me as a creative type. She was pushing me a little bit towards acting, taking me to some open calls. She used to get a kick seeing me imitating people. I didn’t like it. I was in this tiny series when I was in Vienna, very briefly. I hated it. I hated the fact you had to be on the spot, you had to wait around to work. I was like “back off, leave me alone”. I rediscovered it on my own when I was a teenager in New York. I’m glad I did it later. I think she wanted me to discover it by myself.

What was it like to arrive in New York at 12 years old? It was very weird. A lot of my childhood was kind of chaotic, moving around. But this is what life is – the life of an actor. You’re always moving, four months there, 10 months there. I’m kind of used to change; I crave it. I like relocating and going to a place I’ve never been and restart, get to know it. All that stuff is fun for me, when doing my job.

I think the first time you got some mainstream visibility was when you did the TV show Gossip Girl, right? I did some things before that, but Gossip Girl, I think it was such a popular show; it was an unbelievable show. It was an amazing opportunity for me. First of all I was living in New York and it was shot in New York. I never thought my character would reoccur. Also one of my best friends was in it, Chace Crawford, so it was nice to reconnect with him. We were hanging out anyway, so it was like “let’s just go to work at the same time!”. I guess that was the first time that, here and there, someone was recognising me. I don’t think in the industry I was recognised for anything. But the show was so popular.

It was huge! I forgot how popular it was. I think it was setting trends.

You’ve been playing Bucky Barnes for close to a decade now. How has playing the role of Captain Bucky Barnes changed your life? Oh my God! I guess 2010 is when I started. It’s bizarre. It’s kind of strange! It’s certainly brought me a lot of exposure. I’m recognised here and there. It changed my life in many ways. From the perspective of having a lot of fans too. So many people coming up to you feeling they have a special bond to the character. It led to a lot of work opportunities as well, because of the exposure these movies have. It really catapulted me into the public eye, in a different way than I was used to. But in a nice way. I’ve been really grateful and lucky to come back and revisit that character over time. It’s even kind of strange to imagine what would life be without that character and without the people I’m playing with. It’s a giant family, Marvel, in a way. So you’re always looking forward to reconnecting with people, in a way. And you just hope it keeps going. I think to the outside world, it looks like they have a huge solution figured out: every movie’s a hit, every movie’s reviewed so well. But it’s really hard. I think every movie is created like it’s its first and last. That’s why it’s good. They’ve always come from a place of “let’s see what we can do with those characters”. It’s a big part of my life.

Was there anything that you wish you could have done differently for the role of Bucky Barnes, now that you know the character better? No, I’m really ok with the way things went. I felt that at the time, I did the most I could do with what they gave me. The knowledge that I had was the potential of certain things, but not knowing 100% if it was going to happen. I have hope and I’m excited about the future of the character, but then again, that’s not up to me.

Do you think any of the aspects of the Marvel Cinematic Universe relate to real-world events? Like reflection about the role of government? Or is it true fantasy? Look, I think it varies movie by movie, but there’s something to be said that these movies sometimes penetrate the real pulse of what’s going on. You can see it with Black Panther. It was not only a story that needed to be told, but it was something people wanted to see, needed to see. And there was a lot of themes that are prevalent to what’s going on today. So I think Marvel’s very smart with that kind of stuff, always finding a fine line between keeping you entertained and keeping you grounded so that you will be thinking of certain things. It’s an interesting time to have these movies now because they serve a lot of purposes. It’s almost like we really need heroes. We need leaders. There’s something subconscious there about the idea of feeling protected, feeling safe. Maybe these movies tap into something subconscious, into people’s desires, because we live in a scary world, it’s really terrifying out there. You turn your phone on and you’re shocked with all kinds of stuff, there’s another shooting, another attack, etc. I always think about one or two decades from now, when people will look back, how will they be looking at these movies and the pop culture of the time.

Are you surprised a movie like Captain America, which has very patriotic, “proud to be American” themes is doing so well overseas? I think Captain America’s been sort of updated. He’s more relatable than people initially thought. He’s a man lost in time. He’s actually a very sad character. He’s trying to find his way. The ideals he grew up with and made him do the things he wanted to do are no longer applied the same way in the modern world. It goes to show that there’s something about these movies that transcends stereotypes and perspectives. Especially in Asia, in China, these movies are huge.

How has your relationship with all the other actors in the Marvel Cinematic Universeevolved over the past decade? Are you friends with some of them? Oh yeah, for sure. I would say Chris Evans and Andy Mackie are probably the closest to me. Everybody gets along. I got to know different people this time around. I spent much more time with Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth and Scarlett Johansson. You said it’s been almost 10 years. You almost grow with those people. Some get married, some get divorced, some have kids, some moved houses. It feels like we come together, and a lot of things have happened since we’ve been in each other’s lives. It does feel like a family.

How do you think you would feel after the Marvel Cinematic Universe finally ends? Is it even going to end one day? I don’t know. Everything ends and begins one way, but I don’t know. These movies are still bringing people to the theatre. Why go to the movie theatre when you have a nice plasma TV at home? You can watch it there. But I feel these movies are still serving that experience visually. You can watch on IMAX, with advanced sound technology. And a big part of this is that technology right now is so great to help those stories to be told. Ten to 20 years from now, you may be able to pick your favourite character and make him do whatever you want. Netflix may own a country at that point!

In I, Tonya, you play Tonya’s husband Jeff. Was it quite a departure? How did you get into character? Did the moustache help? (Laughs) Anytime you have a moustache, it’s going to do something. People look at you, people look at it. It was just a great opportunity to do something different. It was fascinating because it was real people, they existed, they’re still alive. It was a wild story that always has some kind of weird mystique to it. You never know if that’s the truth. Or is there more? We may never know. But from an actor’s perspective, it was a great experience with an unbelievable cast, a really great director that I respected and taught me a lot. It was nice to lose yourself in the character. I enjoy being challenged and this was very scary for a lot of reasons, because he’s a live person and I’ve never played a live person before. He was a very controversial person. To this day I don’t really know the truth. Because based on her side of the story, he was loving at times, and then extremely abusive at others.

In the movie, he’s not really a villain… No and that‘s the problem. I think in that movie, the villain is the American dream, in a way.

I thought the reason people liked that movie in the US is that even though the protagonists did some terrible things, in the end they wanted to win, and there’s nothing more American than this desire to win at all costs. Exactly. And you see it with who is in office in the White House right now! That was very prevalent in our movie. And the winning aspect was exactly what you said. Everybody was obsessed with this idea of not being good enough, not having enough, got to do more, got to do this. And then something happened, and nobody knew how to react to it, nobody was prepared. These were the people that grew up very poor, they didn’t have a great understanding of money, they didn’t have a great understanding of fame. But they wanted it. It’s also about abuse. Abuse happens early on, you learn, and keeps being repeated. And the people who are victims of abuse unfortunately grow used to the idea that there is some love attached to it, and continue to seek it later on. It’s about the message you’re telling your kids early on.

This fascination probably explains why the movie was named I, Tonya and not I, Nancy… The title I, Tonya was inspired by the book I, Claudius, which is about the Roman emperor Claudius. It’s in our nature as people to be driven, to want to succeed. All these things are part of who we are. But what do we do with it? That’s ingrained. You could say, “How are we like that?” But go tell this to four generations back. Blame them! We’re still living very much in a time that’s been put in place decades ago.

I wonder if there has ever been an actor who did this to another actor to get a part they were both auditioning for… (Laughs) Don’t put it out there! I’m sure there are people capable of it!

Are there any actors or directors whom you haven’t worked with and that you would like to work with in the future? Of course. Andrew Garland is a director I was just talking about the other day. He’s incredible. Quentin Tarantino. I’d work with Sir Ridley Scott again in a second. I’d love to get a chance to work with Darren Aronofsky. Who wouldn’t work with Martin Scorsese and Steven Spielberg? Sometimes I’m worried about what’s going to happen when these guys are no longer around!

Can you tell me about the TV show you did a couple of years ago called I’m Dying Up Here? It was a fun experience, it was a director I liked very much. It was based on a book about the Comedy Store in Hollywood. It was the ‘70s, guys like Jay Leno, Robin Williams – a world I knew nothing about. It wasn’t that comedic, it had some dark undertones. I love comedy. I’m still trying to figure out how I’m funny, how I’m not funny. It’s still a work in progress. But I’d love to be in a comedy one day. That would be amazing.

It seems your relationship with celebrity is somewhat ambivalent. Do you even want to be more famous? I talked to Justin Theroux last year and he is known for avoiding fame. I’m definitely not seeking it. I like walking on the streets. I don’t know what it would be like to be someone who can’t walk on the streets. I have no idea what it would be like. I’d love to continue doing what I’m doing. Sometimes one is a by-product of the other. You can’t have your cake and eat it too, sometimes. I see it more of a responsibility than anything else.

There’s pressure? Of course there’s pressure. But what are you doing with being famous? Who are you helping? Bring attention with you to certain causes? That’s how I think of it. Otherwise it’s just self-oriented.

Can you tell us about your other movies that will be released this year? There’s one that I have just finished, which I was really happy about. It’s called Destroyer. That was a great experience that I was really happy with. Then there’s We Live in a Castle , which I filmed two years ago. It was a really nice experience, but a tricky film with a tricky story. In Destroyer, you can expect Nicole Kidman as you’ve never seen her before. I’ve never seen her play a part like this. She was unrecognisable in some scenes. It’s a really well-written script that was a bit twisted. It is set in Los Angeles and the city is a big part of it. The movie is about control and how we struggle with that. We all want control. Sometimes it’s also about who we present ourselves to be and who we really are. It’s a very interesting movie and I’m also excited because of the director, Karyn Kusama. She’s really talented.

Could you describe your own personal style? You’re a firm believer in letting your wardrobe do the work. I try to not wear anything that has a log on it. Seemingly I like a lot of black, I like a lot of velvet. I like leather. I always seem to wear boots! I’m always learning about fashion. Especially this year. I got to wear Saint Laurent, Givenchy, Tom Ford – I was really lucky to wear some really cool brands. But I never discriminate between labels. It could be Hugo Boss or Coach. I’m much more of a visual person. If I see something that makes sense, I go for it.

Do you go to fashion week? I did last year. It was great. I went to Tom Ford, Hugo Boss and Calvin Klein. They were all very different and unique. But it was cool, I liked it.

Is it easy to fit into the clothes after all the Marvel superhero training? (Laughs) No, I’m not sure if I train as hard as I used to! Maybe it’s become part of my regular lie and I don’t not ice it anymore. Sometimes you have to lose weight, sometimes you have to gain weight. You just go with the job; the job just takes over.

You have millions of followers on Instagram. How did you develop your fanbase? It’s always a learning lesson for me on social media. A lot of it happened with Marvel, obviously. I got on Instagram when the Winter Soldier movie came out, it was in 2014. It was strange. But now it’s become a really interesting way to be able to communicate with the fans. Sometimes a lot of people reach out and ask me questions or advice. And that’s always very fulfilling.

What made you change your mind on social media? You used to not be on it. I wasn’t on it because I didn’t think I was going to be good at it. I’m still trying to figure it out, in a way. I’ve figured out how to enjoy it, though. I have just realised it was a necessity, in a way. It was part of the way the world was going. When someone really explained it to me that it was a way to keep in touch with your fans, vice versa, that really opened it up for me. Before I thought, “What am I going to say?” At least now we have a connection.

How much do the fans mean to you? Well none of this would happen without the fans. They’re the ones that go to the movies, they’re the ones that spend the money, they’re the ones that connect with those characters and relate to them. A lot of them put their hearts out and become vocal. I’ve had a lot of fans come up to me and tell me how much they relate to these characters, to the Winter Soldier, and how much he means to them. You need that support. That’s the feedback you’re looking for. Acting, to me, is an amazing experience. For me, personally, it’s gratifying. There’s a sense of release, a peace I get. But in the end, it’s a way to communicate something with somebody. That’s how I’ve always seen it. Here’s a character that’s going through this, maybe you’re related, maybe he’ll make you think about your life, make you question some of your decisions. How would you have acted in that scenario? It’s life on the screen!

#sebastian stan #august man #article #photoshoot #sebstanedit #long post

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misscinico · 5 years

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Indigenous Representation in Animated Movies

You know me, always making articles about people of color and their representation in media, specifically animated media for children. So I decided to focus on indigenous representation and which characters are good and bad representation in fairly well-known movies. This isn't in any particular order either.

For this list, I chose heroines that have heritage from a country that is predominantly industrialized because of the conquest of a foreign culture. Mainly tribes where they no longer speak their original language and there race is no longer the majority even though they are the natives of that land. The typical assumption of "indigenous peoples" mostly involving the Americas and American territories.

Side Note: If you don't like political correctness or really just the sensitivities of people of color, you probably won't like reading this article. Also this is just my personal opinion I really don't mind If you think differently.

Nita - Nita is a heroine that is often overlooked despite being from a largely successful and well-know company, Disney. I personally think she is probably the best indigenous representation of this list, even if she isn't necessarily my favorite, she is one of them. Nita is kind, brave, funny and an overall interesting a human character to watch that is a great Inuit role-model. She drives a plot, she makes her own decisions and her culture is taken seriously and not presented as a novelty. She also is presented as a daughter of the chief which is the princess-esque position of power that is extremely common in cartoons. The movie doesn't really showcase that too much, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing since Nita really is her own character despite the trope she fits into. She gets a perfect score 10/10. It's only a shame that she isn't more well known.

Pocahontas - This representation is probably the most polarizing. Pocahontas is based off of a real American legend the chief's daughter Matoaka most commonly known as Pocahontas (meaning Little Mischief). Since this is a greatly romanization of history it's seen as poor representation. I'm under the person belief that so long as the movie isn't presented a fact that it's a harmless fictional rendering of the story. Pocahontas is actually one of my favorite Disney Princesses if not my favorite. Even though I think her character is great, being a strong independent woman with a recognizable position, I can't deny that her representation is brought down by the sheer insensitivity of the real historical figure. While there's nothing wrong with her character in particular the the fact there wasn't much consideration for the Powhatan people's historical figures demotes Pocahontas to about 7/10 ranking. Not bad, but could be improved solely based on context.

Nani - She's a wonderful character taking care of Lilo and trying her best to be a hard worker for her sister's sake. Someone actually being portrayed as a human trying to make ends meet. She's a fine character even if she doesn't do anything particularly extraordinary. The only problem I really have with her portrayal is that it seem like she will lose Lilo in the end if it weren't for others. She's seen as poor and unfortunate and the situation doesn't really care about her heritage. This isn't a bad thing, because it's true, in Hawai'i a lot of Natives struggled with poverty and being taken care of by the government. It's important to showcase this and it's great that it was done like this, but role-model wise is kind of paints a negative image more so than a uplifting one. Nani still gets a 9/10 ranking, because she was excellently done, but she's not a perfect score because of her being seen as kind of the downtrodden.

Moana - Her representation is a lot like Nita's except she's also the main character. Similar to Pocahontas, but not insensitive toward the real event of colonization. The culture represented in this movie is extremely well-done in this movie, probably the best of any Disney or animated movie in general. Being Polynesian myself it's one of my favorites and one of the movies I have the least amount of problems with. Moana gets a 10/10 ranking. Disney did great work with this one.

Tiger Lily - This representation is egregious. Honestly the whole "red man" bit is stereotypical and, depending on how you look at it, racist. Tiger Lily herself is rather cute and is portrayed as a noble character who also is also kind of an adventure piece. It fits the narrative of "the noble savage" and the save the girl and get rewarded for it. It's almost worse because she's a child and yet she's treated like the native "sex piece" trope. Seeing native girls as trophies more so than characters or people. Tiger Lily isn't completely unjustifiable though. Like I said she has noble moments (even if they can be seen as stereotypical) and she does have fun and dance like a child. Still her representation is extremely poor. Her ranking is 4.5/10 and I think that's being generous.

Chel - Chel can often be written off as a sex piece character too. After all she clearly partakes in it and users her sexuality quite often. The only difference as she's not presented as a trophy. She is her own character, she actually does drive the plot, and she has her own plans. Her use of her sexuality is entirely her own decision. Does this empower her or is it still poor representation because the authors are taking away any modesty she could have simply for the purpose of making her eye candy. Nothing wrong with some sexy character design, but she's also a side character and a thief. It's not a very positive light and definitely not a good role-model. All of the main characters are thieves, so can that be overlooked as well? I don't know, because she's definitely her own character that in a sense goes for what she wants and is portrayed as human with flaws. She even voiced by a Latina as well (like most of the characters on this list, she's voiced by her own ethnicity). I'd say that her representation needs to be improved, but it's not bad. It isn't anything worth getting upset over for sure. It's a fair portrayal regardless of what her race happens to be. Her ranking is 6/10.

Marama - She is from the Chilean animated movie Ogu and Mampato in Rapa Nui She's a kid that's a side character that's kind of along for the adventure. Overall there's only good things to say about her character. She's smart, funny, a go getter, and she helps progress the film. She isn't overtly mentioned as the chief's daughter, but it is heavily implied. So she has a nice position. She a fine role-model for kids, and the only real thing I could complain about would be her design. She's given blue eyes and light skin. As a Polynesian this isn't the worst though because we can have light eyes and skin, it's just that blue eyes tend to be more of a Melanesian/European trait than Polynesian so it can be seen as white-washing. Overall it's good representation especially from a kids movie that was in a country far removed from Rapa Nui. She gets a 8/10 ranking.

Nakoma - I almost didn't include her, but she is a well-known character in animated media, but there isn't much to say. She's much like Pocahontas, given being in the same movie, she isn't given any real depth or recognizable position, but she's a good character. Representation wise probably better than Pocahontas because she isn't meant to represent a real person in history. Obviously I love Pocahontas much more, but as far as good portrayal Nakoma beats Pocahontas by a fair amount of points. Her ranking is 9/10. She could be a perfect score if she was a main character, but she still has really good role-model traits that I think are often under appreciated.

To read my article in all it’s glory on my original fanpop post click here

#disney #animation #poc #movies #representation #indegenous #characters #heroines

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xiucas · 5 years

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“媽咪, 我哋要去哪裡?” mama, where are we going?

a - “i’m american, actually.”

it’s quite often that people mistake joshua for being foreign by good ol’ fashion assumptions of race. while he was originally born in hong kong, joshua was adopted by an american family when he was four years old.

b - brave

while he would never consider himself to be as such, joshua is the first person to jump in defense of those he cares for. and on top of that, he goes into haunted buildings for a hobby/living so he isn’t exactly easy to spook.

c - “our last name is clark.”

he was adopted at four years old, raised within a large family of other adopted siblings. it was strange, having to learn a new language and take on a whole new life. and that new life began with a new name. huang li jie became joshua clark.

d - dishi

dishi, a beloved stuffed rabbit he brought to boston with him after the adoption was finalized. it is the only keepsake he possesses that was given to him by this birth mother. it has been repaired so often, joshua has lost count how many times his mom stitched him back together. now that he’s on his own, the young man has taken up the repairs on his own. he plans to die with that rabbit by his side.

e - eight

it was around eight years old that the nightmares finally started to fade, a relief to his family as it had been difficult to endear. years of this tiny soul crawling into beds that he could find, seeking comfort from whomever would give it to him. perhaps not every night, but consistent. the wet streets disappeared, the incoherent rabble of cantonese shouting ebbed away. and the tears evaporated upon a face he had begun to forget.

f - “you are my best friend.”

he had always felt on the outs growing up, always being the weird kid that talked too much and made people question if he was normal or not. it took him ages, but in school he found someone to trust, someone who didn’t treat him like a freak. elliot kelly was there for him through his awkward stages up through his present as he embarks on adulthood with a college degree under his belt and a dream of youtube stardom. if there is one person on earth that he would call his most trusted and best friend, it’s him.

g. “ghosts, man! ghosts!”

it had started as a joke, a passing conversation of what it would be like to have it. and then it became a reality when joshua came home one day with a new expensive camera and a passion to take a chance. who cares if it didn’t pan out, it would be fun just to mess around with the idea and maybe have a good time doing it. besides i mean, ghosts, man! ghosts!

h - “hauntings aren’t always about apparitions and cold spots. sometimes it’s just a feeling.”

during his internship at a tech company, the channel began to pick up traction and with the addition of their mutual friend, percy, they had a full-fledge channel. subscribers were pouring in and suddenly they were making money off of their channel and not just messing around with a camera. soon, people were inviting them to their alleged haunted buildings, and suddenly it wasn’t a hobby anymore. he abandoned his internship to put his focus purely in the channel. and they’ve recently hit their first million subscribers.

i - “i love you.”

romance was fleeting, something that joshua had never put too much effort into. especially considering he never thought he was particularly interesting. attractive, sure, but that was only skin deep. martha parker was the first girl that joshua ever said i love you to. and while it may not have lasted, it never faded but simply evolved into an unbreakable bond. sometimes your first love is meant for more than just a memory.

j - “i actually like jogging.”

by the time high schoo hit, joshua had grown into himself somewhat and the overwhelming awkwardness gave way to a more charming awkward. however, instead of throwing himself into multiple relationships in his teenage years, he spent most of it in the gym with his peers working out. he enjoys fitness and is more often in motion than not. he is the type to suggest going on a hike before going to the movies.

k - kin

family? friends? his entire family is based on you make your family; it isn’t always blood. and it’s with this example that joshua has lived his entire life as making his own family. his friendships are an extension of that body, of that ever evolving nervous system. it is why he only keeps positive influences in his life.

l - last minute snack run

there is no shortage of junk in the kelly/clark household. so much so in fact that he will drop everything if he has a craving something unhealthy for him. he may be a fitness nerd, but you better believe he needs his cheetos or else there will be hell to pay.

m - maya

a twitch goddess, a crush, a friendship. this girl is someone that joshua would likely drop everything for if she ever asked it of him. he may not know it yet but she has ‘love of my life’ radiating off her in waves, in the way she smiles and the way she moves. he may be a fool, but he is determined to not screw it up. maya is a once in a lifetime type of person. even an idiot can see that.

n - “you’re damn right i’m into that nerd shit!”

growing up joshua often struggled to bond with his peers as he tended to not enjoy the same things as the other kids his age. up until middle school, joshua tended to avoid sports (until he realized he was good at them), and often preferred the company of books and film. that extended to comic books as well, and sometimes got mocked for it while growing up. and even now, as he would consider himself confident in who he is, he will be the first to defend this so called ‘nerd shit’.

o - “ooooooooooh!”

it’s not to say that he’s an idiot, but he can sometimes come off like one because he struggles to pay attention to things. especially on the first time around. often, you might have to repeat yourself before he truly comprehends what you said. he’ll get there, give him a minute.

p - “which parents do you want me to talk about cuz--it’s not that easy.”

joshua is adopted, a member of the extensive clark clan. while he appreciates his family more than he can say; he had a very stable childhood. however, his biological family is something that has been a bit of a mystery for him. his memories are hazy if not filled with faceless people speaking in unintelligible mumbles. he was too young to remember. but joshua is tenacious, and he isn’t willing to let it fade with time.

q - “oh do you remember this quote from--”

this kid is constantly quoting things from books, tv shows, and movies. in fact, it could be argued that the majority of his personality was formed from the media. odds are, he is the one in the group who is snapping his fingers and flailing quite ostentatiously trying to remember the quote from something he watched the other day that is relevant to the conversation. or so he thinks.

r - reason to smile

his happy place is the editing room, listening to music while they attempt to get the best content out of their footage as possible. this is usually all three of them collaborating together so everyone has equal say in what they put out there for everyone to watch. they are a team, and it’s one of the best things in the world for joshua to be a part of it. it’s his favorite thing in the entire world.

s - shelter

never one to waste free time, with what little he has joshua gives it to the local no-kill animal shelter where he spents a few hours a week taking care of the animals and helping them get adopted to good homes. he often begs his roommate if he can bring animals home often met with a negative response. even so, he is the one who is out in the yard playing with the dogs to make sure they get socialized.

t - trust

he may come off fun-loving and without a care in the world, but trust is something that isn’t easily won with him considering his circumstances. if you cross him or someone who he cares for deeply, it is likely you will never possess his earnest trust. it’s just the luck of the draw.

u - "what are you doing with my underwear?”

please, if you think this kid is basic, you haven’t been paying attention to him at all. he may have basics in his drawers, but this kid is the type to go into a store and see spongebob boxer briefs and immediately buy them because its god damn spongebob, guys! he is whimsical with his clothes most of the time, so his underwear can’t be boring either.

v - “we’re on vacay!”

joshua is planning a trip to hong kong to take over the holidays as he continues on his journey to find his birth mother. he’s unaware of the journey is going to take him right to his backyard, but for the time being, he is enjoying the planning portion of the trip. after all, he is learning about where he came from and also going away on location. what could go wrong...

w - “you are the fuckin’ worst!”

he is no saint, and he has his fair share of bad habits. like leaving his dirty clothes all over the place, leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor, and leaving empty energy drink cans all over the place. he is a god damn mess and i feel terrible for people who have to live with him. sorry, elliot.

x - “i still think xena is hot!”

strong women are kind of a thing for joshua, as he has a tendency to crave structure, a thing he has been severely lacking since moving out on his own. women who know what they want and aren’t afraid to admit it are his kink. if you boss him around he will listen like the dutiful young man he is.

y - “youtube is paying us, bro!”

it seems new subscribers come in waves as each day passes and because of this, joshua is spending a lot of his time collaborating with other content providers, local historians, and anyone who will listen to him ramble in order to provide the best content to their audience. he is hardworking to the end, especially considering they are making that youtube cash!

z - “zombies terrify the shit out of me, please don’t--”

that’s it. zombies freak him out. please don’t dress up as one and spook him, he will literally squeal like a girl and throw something at your face. proceed with caution.

! - “oh shit!”

nothing elaborate to put here, the boy just has a terrible mouth and tends to curse more often than not. someone get soap for this child’s mouth, it’s dirty.

, - “listen,”

he often has to explain how much of a trash can he is. trust me, he is well aware of his own shortcomings.

? - “huh?”

sorry, you are going to have to repeat yourself a lot, but that’s okay, because you never know if he’s playing a prank on you or if he genuinely wasn’t paying attention. can he be trusted? that’s a fair question.

: - “you ARE the father 2: electric boogaloo”

joshua will be meeting his birth father, a rather cataclysmic ending to his birth mother journey that will require a lot of explanations, shouting matches, and trying to come to terms with the fact that sometimes, young people just make mistakes and there is no real rhyme or reason as to why anything happens. parents are people too, kids. don’t forget that.

#gravityrp #development #character stuff #rp stuff #myedit #c: joshua clark #omfg this took 20 years but i finally finished it!#and it's not really great i feel terrible about it #but here we are! accept my son!

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nashvilletonihon · 5 years

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Let’s Talk About Culture Shock

Ok. I know what you’re thinking... “Rachel! It’s so good to have you back! I’ve missed you!” I know friend, I know. I say “life happens” a lot which is just as much of an excuse to make myself feel better for not updating as often as I should as it is legitimate reason for my lack of posts. (Especially because the last post I wrote I promised to write more...HA HA! Whoops!!)

That being said, remember when I first arrived in Japan and all of my posts were doom and gloom get me the f*ck outta here? Yeah, me too. Well, that was child’s play compared to the week I had. For the first time since I moved I experience very real and very genuine culture shock.

Now, you might be asking yourself what the difference between the culture shock I experienced a few months ago was and the culture shock I experienced this week is. I’m sooooo glad you asked.

Upon moving to a foreign country, the first several months are obviously very difficult. Especially if that country does not speak your native language. EVERYTHING is new and exciting and terrifying. You spend all of your time figuring out which markets to buy groceries at (and if you’re like me it’s three different ones), where to get your hair cut, how much time it takes to get to certain places, where the best restaurants are, if you should try new food based on the packaging photos alone...basically you’re just trying to survive. It’s a challenge but not necessarily a negative thing. Perhaps a slight inconvenience at most.

Fast forward to now. I’ve been here for 7 months and my life has fallen into a routine. I know when to wake up and how much time it will take me to get to each school, I know how much it costs to fill up my gas tank and where I can buy specialty foreign items like tortilla chips and popcorn. Things have gotten a bit more simple but by no means easy. Life is still a challenge but I don’t lose my mind every time I have to go to the grocery store now.

That was until this week...

It all started Monday morning when I woke up not really feeling like myself. I tend to dread the beginning of the school week because it means that I have to go to my base school (which I don’t exactly enjoy) and pretend to work for 8 hours instead of actually being in the classroom like I am at my visit school on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. This Monday was no different. I decided to begin the day by asking my supervisor (who 100% does NOT want to be my supervisor) to contact the Board of Education to let them know I have been excused from attending a last minute seminar as my friends are in the country. After I very calmly and simply explained this information, he proceeded to print out a schedule for said seminar, hand it to me with a curt ‘’there you go’’ and proceeded to go about his business. Mouth agape I’m shocked I didn’t blurt out ‘’you didn’t understand a word I just said did you??’’ even though I was screaming it in my head. Shocked beyond comprehension I turned to my computer and with an amazing amount of grace, decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. The rest of day went the same as every Monday usually goes. I’m used to being underutilized at my base school and while desk warming isn’t exactly what I would like to do, I normally don’t mind because it means I get to study Japanese, work on lessons for my visit school, surf the internet, etc...I keep my head down and try to blend into the desk chair. However, after I left school on this particular Monday I found myself hung up on the feeling of being mistreated and ignored. I tried to shake it but was unsuccessful as I took it with me to my visit school the next day.

Tuesday was まま ma ma (so-so). I had a few classes, one of which I taught solo, and I worked on decorations for my English Board. Although nothing monumental happened, I didn’t have my usual 元気 genki (energetic) attitude as I tried my best to hype the students up for the activities while also keeping them from tearing the school down. The day, as a whole, was pretty uneventful, kendo and karate practice included. (Even if I was a little less enthusiastic for them than I normally am.) I went to sleep that night with a heavy feeling in my chest and a nonchalant, indifferent attitude in my mind I now know is the beginning of an anxiety filled depression spiral. (Wheeeeee....)

I arrived at my base school on Wednesday morning buzzing with anxious energy feeling like I’m not even in my own body but instead floating just outside of it. I decided to try and put that energy to good use by updating the English Board which still had Christmas decorations on it. (January was filled with good intentions y’all...) I’m freaking elbows deep in switching everything out with pieces of tape on all my fingers when one of my JTE’s comes up to me and timidly says ‘‘Will you be joining the class today?’‘ In her defense I am technically supposed to attend her class. In my defense, I am literally used as a human tape recorder, spitting out a few vocabulary words and watching the students lose their mind when I pronounce Worcestershire sauce. My time would have been better spent changing the English Board...but I went to class and quietly stood by the stove instead.

Once class was finished, I knocked out the English Board and went to study at my desk. It is at this point that another JTE asks me if I had ‘’done my homework’’. Eyes glazing over I blankly stared back at him asked ‘’what homework?’’ ‘’The list of books you are supposed to write down for me to help improve my English.’’ he says. At this point I begin to very vaguely remember the conversation we had in regards to this topic. I believe I mentioned that I would make said list whenever I had the time...but I digress. I quickly assured him I would make the list and leave it for him under his computer for his perusal tomorrow when I am at my visit school. That fire put out I begin to work on studying kanji when I become acutely aware of how hard my supervisor is typing. He’s putting in grades and every time he smashes the ENTER button it sounds like he’s trying to push it through the entire keyboard. I do my best to ignore it when he finished and moves on to grading exams. As he circles each right answer I swear he’s doing his best to leave a circle shaped engraving on the desktop. It’s incredibly (and unnecessarily) aggressive. When lunch arrived I swear he slurped his miso soup louder and more annoying than usual. Granted, I’ve noticed all of these things before but today they were amplified. Every sound, every action made me grit my teeth in frustration. By the middle of the day I was crawling out of my skin anxious. I was in the throes of major cultural shock meltdown. It was at this moment that I remembered I should probably e-mail my Prefectural Supervisor to follow up on whether or not the supervisor at my base school had indeed contacted the BOE like I asked him to. Lo and behold as I was finishing my e-mail, one from my PA pops up in my inbox. I open it to discover that she’s letting me know that said base school supervisor has NOT contacted them regarding my excused absence from the seminar. Balling my hands into fists I try not to slam them on the desk in the worst fit of work rage I’ve had in a long time.

Instead, I begin messaging Jacob stream of consciousness thoughts:

“I want to go home. Home home. Back to America home. I want my mom. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want to drive my own car. I want to drive on the right side of the road in my own car. I want to see people who look like me. I want to see people who don’t look like me but who aren’t Japanese. I want BBQ. I want a disgusting fast food burger. I want AMERICAN food. I never want to eat another Japanese meal again. I never want to see rice or sushi or freaking noodles EVER again. I don’t want to hear Japanese. I don’t want to speak Japanese. I want to hear English. I want to speak English. I want to go to the grocery store and know where and what everything is because I can READ it. I want to go to the movie theatre and see a movie. IN. ENGLISH. I’m tired. I’m over it. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore.”

The entire time I’m going through this I’m doing my best not to lose my cool while sitting at my desk in the teacher’s room. It’s becoming increasingly more and more difficult. The teacher’s room is LOUD. Everyone is talking and laughing, calling to one another from across the room. To stop from screaming I bite the inside of my cheek so hard I draw blood. I’ve been messaging Jacob throughout the day and he’s aware of my current mental state. He’s doing the best he can while also working but I need air. I need quiet. I need to be alone. I grab my coat and race out the door.

I make the short walk to the コンビニ konbini (convenience store) across from my school where I buy a soda and some chocolate. I walk along the street toward the beach taking long swigs from my drink and angry munching my candy. I want nothing more than to be anywhere but here. I deep lungfuls of the crisp winter air. It’s chilly but the sun is out and the sky is clear. I lucked out weather wise. I do my best to clear my head and when I feel like I’ve been gone long enough to arouse suspicion, I head back to school. (Spoiler alert: No one noticed I was gone.) I’m not sure how but I manage to make it through the next 3 1/2 hours until it’s time for me to go home. I have to stop myself from sprinting out the door. As I walk to my car my friend, and fellow AET Natasha, messages to let me know that my request to attend Ichiba Elementary School on March 6th for their mini English Day has been denied because “I have classes”. (I will later find out that it’s Entrance Exams day and I more than likely don’t have to be at school period, much less in classes.) I get in my car and slam the door.

Jacob calls me on my way home as he walks to his bus stop. I sob like a baby. It’s the first time I’ve cried since October and it feels...good. I think I’d been bottling it up inside for a while now and having a gut wrenching, body shaking sob was soul cleansing. It wasn’t so much that I was sad, I was just so incredibly angry and frustrated that the only thing I could do was cry. I raged. I cussed. I shook my fists...and Jacob listened. Because he knew. The thing about culture shock is that it never truly goes away. It’s constantly there. But some days you’re better at ignoring it than you are others. And some days, heck, some weeks it all comes crashing down on you at once. Culture shock comes in waves. There are still days I want to pack up and go home. I miss my family and friends dearly. I miss the comforts of home and the things I’m used to. That being said, I’m beginning to create new comforts, make new memories. Mainly in part because of this guy:

A quick photo while celebrating 節分 setsubun (Spring/Bean Throwing Festival) at 吉田神社 Yoshida Shrine. SO. MUCH. GOOD. FESTIVAL. FOOD.

For those of you who creep my Instagram, you’ll have seen his handsome face a time or two before by now. For those of you who don’t, here he is. That mustachioed gentleman has pretty much been with me since Day 1. I met Jacob at the Kyoto Orientation Conference I attended 5 days after arriving in Japan. We became fast friends and as our friendship developed, so did deeper feelings. (He had them a lot earlier on than I did...for obvious reasons.) It wasn’t until our birthday (yes, we share the same birthday) that I realized “Oh sh*t. I think I’m in love with this guy.” Fast forward to four weeks later when I went down to visit him over the winter holiday and that little thought I had on our birthday had grown and solidified into a very concrete and very real feeling. I was head over heels 100% smitten. So before this post becomes another “doom and gloom” entry, I want you to know that not everything here in Japan has been bad. Not everything here in Japan has been terrible. Not everything here in Japan has been awful. (Contrary to the vast majority of my previous posts, I know.) Japan introduced me to the love of my life and showed me that a future here is possible...more than possible...a definite.

Yes, culture shock is sneaky and culture shock is rude. It creeps up on you when you least expect it and turns the things you enjoyed into the things you resent. However, with the right mindset, the right friends and the right support system you can kick culture shock in the teeth and go about your regularly scheduled program. I’m fortunate enough to have the best kind of support system in the man I love who listens (to me rant), helps (me calm down) and advises (me not to take violent action) as need be. Seriously though, call me the luckiest gal in the world.

I have so many more things to share concerning Jacob, our relationship and our future plans, but that is going to require a post all on its own. In the meantime, enjoy this photo of us being cute (and me with different bangs) while you wait.

Probably my favorite photo of us to date, here we are on 比叡山 Mt. Hiei after exploring 延暦寺 Enryakuji Temple with 琵琶湖 Lake Biwa and 滋賀県 Shiga Prefecture in the background.

Japan be tryin’ real hard to knock a sistah down, but I’m holding strong and always moving forward. Now, hand in hand with the one I love.

じゃあまた (See you!)

- レイチェル (Rachel)

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #181

"wine is fine, but whiskey’s quicker. suicide is slow with liquor.”

What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone? I mean I'm not a virgin? Have you ever said “I love you” to someone and didn’t mean it? I don't believe so. Do your parents usually agree with your partners-of-choice? Yeah. I really don't know how Dad feels about me being with a girl currently, but he likes her personally. How many people do you like right now? (even the slightest bit) Legitimately, just one. My "I don't actually know this celeb but I'd 10/10 marry them" thing is just a joke. Do you believe little kids can fall in love? My guess is not until you reach a certain level of maturity where you can grasp the seriousness of "falling in love." But who really knows. What was the last dream that you can remember? On the morning I'm answering this one, I swear I had like ten or something last night. As time goes on though, they're starting to blur together. The one that stands out most tho is my sis and I became the first Americans (yes, that was a detail) to fully infiltrate a Russian, secret government base without being killed. Look idk either. Have you ever been rickrolled? Maybe? Do you like balogna? Yeah. It was my favorite lunch meat as a kid. Are you supersticious? No. What animals have you ridden? Horses and ponies off the top of my head. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done to someone you don’t know in public? I don't think I've done anything notable for this. Do you ever stick gum under seats? No, and my opinion of you greatly plummets if you do. Do you live somewhere where it’s completely safe to walk alone at night? I don't think those exist anymore. Have you ever lived with someone who was a total slob? When Dustin pretty much lived in the apartment with us... jc. Would you rather be able to talk to animals or be fluent in every language? Talk to animals. Does your kitchen have a pantry? No. Have you ever interviewed a job applicant at your workplace? N/A Have you ever gone over 3 months without shaving/waxing your legs? I don't shave them anymore unless I fear there's even a tiny chance someone might see them... Thanks, society. Are you high-maintenance? Definitely not. Would you ever consider being a foster parent? Being any kind of parent is off the list for me. What are some things that make others cry, that don’t make you cry at all? Idk, I'm a crybaby. Most sad songs don't, I guess. Are you a very detail-oriented person? Or are you better at seeing the big picture? Definitely the former. Do you have any upcoming plans with friends? lol What kinds of leisure activities did your family do together when you were growing up? Watch TV or sometimes play board games, probs. Occasionally all go in the pool together. Dragons or unicorns? I'm all 'bout dragons, man. Do you wish vampires existed? Um no. Do you sing in front of people you don’t know very well? How about dance? Nope. Have you ever sang/spoke/preformed in front of people on a stage? Sang in church choir and elementary chorus, read my D.A.R.E. report, and was in groups at dance recitals and competitions. Is it more fun or scary to do so? If you haven’t, then what would you think? Eh, it depends on your level of confidence in what you're performing. Like with dance, I was never that nervous as I knew what I was doing. Singing wasn't bad either because I was with others. Now reading aloud, alone, fuck that. I think anything alone would be scary. Would you rather slit your wrists than read Cosmo? I normally delete just plain stupid questions, but I'm leaving this here to hope and pray the author of this question sees me sincerely and genuinely say fuck you, you goddamn fly-swarmed shitpile with a maturity level surpassed by an infant's. Did you ever like barbies? Do you currently like barbies? They weren't really my thing, but I'd play with them if my sisters or friends wanted me to. What’s your favorite hit song right now? I don't know what the hit songs are right now. What’s your favorite element? (fire, water, air) Out of the traditional four, fire. Have you ever been to a wild party? No. Have you gone through any drastic life-changing experiences? If so, what was the most drastic? Depression and anxiety manifesting was absolutely life-changing, and then when you consider it resulted in PTSD, obviously the break-up was incredibly serious, but it also led towards my gradual recovery. What traits from your father would you like to pass down to your children? Don't want kids, but I'll answer as if I did. If that were the case, I like how he's not one for grudges, is very openly himself, and is super goofy. What is your biggest fault? It probably all boils down to my anxiety and trust issues resulting in me jumping to conclusions. If you could transform into any animal what would it be and why? Probably a snow leopard. Climate I love, super pretty, and I know I'd wanna be a feline anyway. What are the first three things you do when you wake up? Check the time, go to the bathroom, then it varies. Can you remember the first time you ever talked to the person you love/like? Does he/she remember? Ha, sure do, both through text and Skype... I'm sure she remembers the basics at least, too. Would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well? Yeah. Have you ever really liked someone to begin with, then changed your mind about them? Maybe? Does your significant other/crush know about your Tumblr? Does he/she look at it? Yeah, and we follow each other, so. Do you ever feel a desire for sex at inappropriate times? Define "inappropriate?" What was the last thing that one of your parents bought for you? Fast food. Think about your first boyfriend/girlfriend. Did that person make you happy? What went wrong in the relationship? Sure, but just as friends. If you decided to dye your hair, would you choose to go lighter or darker? Lighter. I want more colorful hair. Is there a TV show or movie in which you’re incredibly emotionally attached to the characters? I don't think so "incredibly" since Meerkat Manor. Would you rather arrive super early or super late to class? Early. What’s something really basic that worries or troubles you on a consistent basis? It's a wonder I'm blanking here considering I know there's a load of things. What do you use the internet for the most? YouTube. On a scale of one to ten, how good is your memory? A goddamn one. It's been exceptionally awful lately. Do you worry about money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH. Do you have any health problems that are unusual for your age? Well, the memory thing, though it's probably just a side effect of my meds or actual ADD. My knees are atrocious, though, and after many, many tests, we still can't figure out what's wrong with them. What’s the longest nap you’ve ever taken? When does it no longer qualify as a nap? Maybe like... four hours at max? Are you more likely to expect the best or the worst of a situation? The worst. Always. Have you ever said or done something in public that resulted in a stranger’s response? Possibly. How many serious relationships have you been in? Two. Do you think you have a vivid imagination? Very, personally. What was the last song you listened to? "Sick Like Me" by In This Moment. How many hours a day do you spend on Facebook, if any? Not even one. Do you own your favorite film on DVD? Maybe? Idk if we replaced the VHS. Have you ever been so angry that you screamed out of nowhere? On one occasion I basically screeched my lungs out on the porch. What’s your opinion on Nicki Minaj? I guess as a rapper she's good, she's indisputably quick as fuck, but I'm not a fan personally. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? Oh fuck yes. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah, when Dad would take me fishing and also on a 5th grade field trip to a horse-inhabited island near one of the lighthouses. We couldn't go to the lighthouse because the water was too rough. Have you ever been hopelessly in love with a celebrity? You can't be "in love" with someone you've never met and don't know personally. Generally speaking, do you like acoustic or original versions of songs better? Hm... tied, I think. What was the last band shirt you wore? Otep. Do you follow any celebrities on Twitter? I use Twitter only for Mark. That is all. What was the last flavor of pudding or yogurt you ate? Chocolate. What was the last thing you bought online, and how about in an actual store? With my own money, online it was Sara's ring I believe, and in a store was a snack. When was the last time you met someone who seemed very unpleasant? Hm. I honestly don't go out and meet people enough to answer this. Does anyone have a romantic interest in you, that you don’t return? Possibly, but it doesn't matter. Have your parents met the person you’re currently interested in? Yeah. What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? Did you like it? Oh my fucking god, some kind of "fancy" vodka in a margarita. It was disgusting. Are your eyes the same color as your siblings’ eyes? Only my brother. What food(s) have you eaten a lot of recently? Nutrition/meal replacement shakes. Do you use the microwave a lot when it comes to cooking food? Yeah, 'cuz I can't cook. Are you currently trying to get over someone? No. Do you know anyone who’s been on TV? If so, which show? Not to my knowledge. Do you have any lockets with pictures inside? No. Have you ever liked a football player? No. What was the last thing you learned? Some snacks rats can eat. Do you like Chinese food, Mexican food, or American food better? American. I'm very picky with all foreign food, actually. What’s your favorite scent? Freshly-baked bread, coffee, honeydew, lilacs... If you could house any pet, what would it be? Out of all pet options, uh... I suppose a horse or Saint Bernard if I had the means to properly care for them, too. Do you pluck your eyebrows? No. Do you like to swing? YEAH. How about jumping on a trampoline? I would if my knees weren't shit. If you could have any car, what kind would it be? Idk. I'm not educated on cars enough. What’s your favorite fast-food restaurant? I'm a slut for Wendy's. How often do you like to have sex? I'm not in a position where that's ever a thing yet. It wasn't something I thought about with Jason either, but we were pretty regular with sexual affection so we never went very long without, anyway. What’s your definition of weird? I don't care to define it, honestly. "Weird" can be good, bad, neutral... It's too vast a term and super subjective. Do you use shaving cream? That or lotion when I shave my legs. Have you ever personally known any girl who shaved their head? Well, she's an online friend, but I'd count her. Have you ever coughed up blood? I don't believe so. Who was the last person you hugged? My niece or nephew. What’s some of the worst pain you’ve ever felt? Mental: heartbreak and abandonment (both without any obvious prologue), rejection from who I cared about most, as well as deep hopelessness. Physical: having a cyst drained, an internal hemorrhoid, fracturing my wrist, having my tongue piercing redone and more accurately, a severe case of constipation I had as a little kid, an ear infection that made me want to chop it off and all out, a concussion, menstrual cramps before I was put on the pill... What kind of mouse pad do you have? I use a trackpad. What color is your mouse? ^ What’s your favorite dessert food? Ice cream, donuts, or red velvet cake omlllll. What is the closest thing to you right now that is alive? My dog Teddy. Are you an outcast? By the actual definition, no, though I feel it occasionally. Do you exercise? Ugh, no. I'm working on building back up my motivation to do Wii Fit again. What’s your favorite carnival food? (cotton candy, corn dogs, funnel cake) I haven't been to enough and gotten food to know many at all. Are you a very open-minded person? I think I am, and I feel that improves further like, daily. Are you modest? Probably sounds immodest to say, but I know I am. What kind of guys/girls do you usually fall for? Above all else, my consistent weakness seems to be the "weirdos." The ones that really stand out in their uniqueness. Do you skate? No. I mean, I'm capable of rollerblading, but it's not something I do every weekend or something. If you were to make it big with your own band what would it’s name be? Hell if I know. HAHA WAIT. My old username in some places, BulletsxButterflies, was based off my Rock Band band "Bullets And Butterflies" and like can you say #myaesthetic so that'd be pretty cool I suppose. ... Although it was inspired by the song "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" and I don't wanna get sued so like- What’s your favorite kind of pasta? Just normal spaghetti with sauce and meatballs. Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there? I GO OVER THERE. I am a SHIT host and there's nothing to do here anyway. What’s the perfect first date? Go to a sit-down restaurant (doesn't need to be expensive at all), just the two of you, and *talk*. Don't touch your phone, just talk and listen with honest interest in your partner. I think this is especially important if you started dating shortly after meeting, as now that you're together, you really need to get to know each other. If you were good friends prior, you should already be pretty familiar with the other, and then I think things are a bit more flexible. Have you ever had rabies? No. Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot? *shrugs* Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb? No. Have you ever received a note in your locker? I believe I did in middle school from Aaron? What was the last birthday present you bought for someone? A personalized chameleon mug for my darling. Did you get grounded often as a child? No more than usual, I guess? If you have a car, how much does it take to fill up your gas tank? N/A What’s your favorite album from your favorite music artist? Ozzy's "Black Rain." Every song is absolutely amazing, replayed more times than I ever wanna count, and it was my introduction to metal. Was the last person you held hands with a significant other? No, Aubree took my hand as well as she could to take me to her brother's room. Do you remember the brand of your first cell phone? Uhhhh... Blueberry, maybe? What is your Facebook cover picture? A pink pastel background-type thing. Last video game you played? Shadow of the Colossus. I beat it all over again to start my Time Attack grind, but I'm thinking of waiting til I get the PS4 remake one day to do so. When did you last try a new restaurant? Back when I was up at Sara's again. Does “out of sight, out of mind” work for you? Usually no. Do you have any friends whose birthday is this month? MY BABY If you have a favorite actor/actress, which of their movies is your favorite? For Betty White, idk. Depp, Alice in Wonderland. Are you currently expecting anything to arrive in the mail? No. What is your favorite kind of salad? Just bring me a ship full of Olive Garden's salad and I'll be g. Do you own a tablet of any kind? No. How many minutes is the longest song in your music library? I'm not sure, but off the top of my head, probably "Call of Ktulu" by Metallica. What is a brand name you don’t really care for? Any?? Idc. Do you prefer sleeping in complete silence or with background noise? Not complete silence, but quiet, simple background noise. When was the last time you weighed yourself? Today. As I do almost everyday even tho you're not advised to. Oops. Would you convert to a different religion if your fiancé/fiancée was of a different faith? No. The world is ending, and you can save one group of five people: who would be the five people that you save? Just five ah screw you man. Considering both those I hold close to myself but also people I feel would help recover the world for the better, and also assuming you don't include animals: Sara, Mom, Mark Fischbach, my psychiatrist (he's so fucking knowledgeable on medication that the world does not need to lose all that information), and probably Jane Goodall. Well idk, she's up there in age and may not last very long, but. asjfapwuw this is a hard question, I'm trying to consider who I love personally but also who would be capable of properly rebuilding humanity, or at least give us last six (if I'm alive, too?) a happy end to our lives. What is one thing that you are proud of, that you think lacks praise/lacks appreciation from the people around you? It could be a simple thing; it could be a secret thing. Ummmm... idk. What is the funniest one-liner Tumblr text post you’ve ever read? THERE'S SO MANY What is the absolute hardest thing about staying alive? Staying in a mentally sound place. If you're not okay in your own head, that makes living so, so very hard, and too many people get there. What is a book that has been recognized as ‘great literature’ that you dislike? Why? *shrugs* I enjoyed those I recall reading. Except one I don't remember the name of. Do you believe in the supernatural? Absolutely, 110%. What was the last thing you cried about? Probably my current groundhog day cycle. Are you mad at yourself about anything? Always, sure, but in like, the back of my mind. It doesn't dominate my thoughts. What was the last thing you cooked on the stove? Eggs. What pharmacy do you use? Harris Teeter's. Are you proud of yourself or disappointed in yourself? Both. What do you consider the perfect temperature for winter? ~50 is my preferred temperature always. What does your umbrella look like? I think ours is black? What is something you wanted as a kid but never got? One of those little crane machines with stuffed animals in it. I had one for candy, I think... but apparently that wasn't enough for Young Brittany. What is something you were scared of as a kid? Porcelain dolls. Still make me uncomfortable. Do you like your current driver’s license picture? My permit one is HIDEOUS. What is your favorite Elvis song? "Devil In Disguise." Do you think you could be the next American Idol? Hell no. Do you prefer reading fiction or non-fiction? Fiction, easily. Do you prefer fruity candy canes or peppermint-flavored? I like both, but the former is my fave. Do you eat too much candy? No. If you ever took dance classes, what were your favorite classes? Jazz. Have you ever been bullied because of the things you like? I don't think so? Have you bullied others because they like things you do not? No. Were there any classes you enjoyed because of the teacher? Not "enjoyed," but made them better. Have you ever been a bad friend? I'm sure I have. Has a friend ever replaced you with somebody else? Yup. At least it really feels like it. Have you ever disliked something just because it was popular? Admittedly, I think there were some things when I was newly a teen and developing that "I'm not like others" mentality. Have you ever watched a movie just because it starred an actor you liked? Maybe? What about just because it starred an actor you thought was good-looking? ... I'm deadass tempted to see Aquaman because of this lmfao but I'm not going to. Are there actors/musicians you have met? No. Do you ever judge people based on the music they listen to? Nah. What would you say are your top five bands/artists? Gaaah... I'll try here. Ozzy, Metallica, Otep, Manson, and Korn, maybe? Has anyone ever told you that you were really pretty? Yeah. Do you listen to a wide variety of music? No. Most are some kind of metal and rock, but I do have some really random artists/bands I like, such as Melanie Martinez or Marina and the Diamonds. Did you ever go through a phase when you didn’t want to take medicine? No. Was the last book you read good? Yeah. Do you make grocery lists? I don't do the shopping, so no. Do you have stomach problems? It can be finicky every now and again, especially with "fancy" food. Do you enjoy editing photos? Yes! Peace signs or hearts? Hmmm, idk. I guess it depends on the style. What kind of pie is your favorite? None. Do you have a strong relationship with your parents? I feel very, very few parent-child relationships exist stronger than my mom's and mine. Dad and I are good, too. Do you know your best friend’s middle name? Yeah. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Is your Facebook profile private? Yeah. How many true friends do you have? Like four? Who has your Facebook password? Me and Mom. Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Pretty much never. Do you believe in aliens? I'm neutral. Do you like pineapple? Yessss. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? No. Are you living with anyone that isn’t related to you? No, if you don't include pets. How many people would you say you’ve been “in love” with? Two. Which one of your relatives are you most likely to argue/disagree with? MY GRANDMA. How much do you monthly pay for mortgage or rent? If you don’t, how much is your cell-phone bill? N/A What is your favorite grocery store to shop at, and how often do you shop for groceries? Sam's Club got them deals. But I don't do the grocery shopping. How many hours do you work a week? If you don’t work, do you plan on finding a job? If so, when? I'm getting help from vocational rehab now to find a job perfectly appropriate for me. Where did you have your first kiss? What about your last kiss? His bed; airport. When is the next time you will be going out of town? 18th for my therapy appointment. Hour away. What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? Phone bill. Where did you spend Christmas or any other winter holiday? My sister's house. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Myself. Do you like shopping alone? I wouldn't know. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? A small one. When was the last time you blushed? Idk. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? Most of my sister's exes. Almost all, really. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? Well, the DS is in here. Have you ever done another person’s make-up? Jason's as just a joke. What is one thing you don’t like sharing? My drawings or writings if you're in my "real" life. Online is like... mostly np, but otherwise, don't fucking look. If I share a drink with you too, that means a loooot. Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? You know... ~the spot~ Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? Idk. Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? Yes. Would you be considered more of a teacher’s pet or a class clown? I was inadvertently the teacher’s pet like... always. Do you have any family members who are mean to you for no reason? No. Do you have to do any yard work? No. Do you have a nativity scene in your home? Mom will put it up eventually. If you’re a girl, what color is your favorite bra? Navy. Would you rather make a snow angel or snowman? Snowman. What is the best antique shop in your town? *shrugs* Does creating make you happy? YES YES YES YES!!!! Do you have abusive family members? No. What US city would you most like to visit? Idk. What country in the world would you most like to visit? Japan, probably. Or Scotland. Do you have your wedding all planned out in your head? No. Do you sell things online a lot? No. Is there anyone you secretly miss? No. What color are your Christmas lights? On our tree that isn't up yet? Rainbow. Owls or penguins? Owls.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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back-and-totheleft · 5 years

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The Bronze Star

Recently I found an incredibly revealing interview with Oliver Stone which I wanted to share. It was conducted by Bill Moyers on his PBS show The Journal on December 4, 2009. But let's back up a moment first.

For some time, I've been interested in the incident which earned Oliver his Bronze Star with V-Device (for heroism in ground combat). According to the citation certificate pictured in Matt Zoller Seitz's book (and glimpsed briefly in Oliver's student film Last Year in Viet Nam) the incident on occurred on August 21, 1968. In the book, Seitz asked Oliver to describe what happened:

"That was in a particularly vicious fight inland from a beach. I remember the day started when they killed a German Shepherd scout dog I really liked. And they also got the sergeant, and the lieutenant of that platoon. At that point my platoon moved into the skirmish and it was pretty confusing for a while, and I basically ended up in this situation where I think I probably saved some lives by killing an NVA [North Vietnamese Army] sniper who'd gotten himself into a spider hole in the ground between two different units, which would've created a hell of a crossfire - and probably killed some people."

When I read that for the first time, the use of the "probably" qualifier struck me. You don't earn a Bronze Star by "probably" saving some lives or killing a man, but it's one of the points in the book where Oliver almost seems to back off and get sort of vague when discussing the terrible details of combat (perhaps for understandable reasons). That's why the Moyers interview was startling - without mentioning his Bronze Star, Oliver goes into much more detail about the August 21 incident than he ever has, before or since. (I have included audio excerpts and transcripts. You can watch the entire episode here.)

Moyers states in his introduction that the death of a friend's son in Afghanistan is what prompted him to interview Oliver about his experiences with combat and how it affected his life and work. So the men talk about foreign policy in Iraq and Afghanistan for a bit, before Moyers begins to ask what combat is like.

Listen:

BILL MOYERS: What was it like to kill?

OLIVER STONE: Frankly, you get numbed out. I mean, you reach a place of desensitization. You shoot without thinking. And you shoot because it's an instinct.

BILL MOYERS: Do you know who you're shooting at?

OLIVER STONE: Well, I was killing -- we were killing enemy. We were actually in conflict with the NVA in the jungle. But when we were in the villages, it was much more difficult. But I certainly saw American soldiers abuse villagers. Hit them, torture them, in some cases rape them, burn down their hooches. I mean, we treated them badly.

BILL MOYERS: How about you? How did you come to terms with what happened to you? And what did happen to you there?

OLIVER STONE: A lot of things happened. I mean, the priests were there blessing us. And would bless us before we went out in the field. And basically tell us that God was on our side against the North Vietnamese. We went into situations that were...let me just say that I came back desensitized, another person. Speaking another language. Thinking another way. Not believing in anything I saw in Vietnam. From the officer class down.

The interview continues, and it's about two thirds of the way through when Moyers asks how Oliver personally coped with the fallout from combat. It's never specified, but the man Oliver is discussing is clearly the sniper he killed on August 21, 1968.

Listen:

BILL MOYERS: Back to your experience. If you were not a filmmaker, Oliver, how do you think you would have coped with what happened to you there? I mean, would you have found another avenue? Would you have flipped out? Or would you, to use the title of one of your own movies, become a natural born killer?

OLIVER STONE: (laughs)

BILL MOYERS: Seriously.

OLIVER STONE: Well, when I came back from Vietnam, I was very...I was an angry young man and had violent thoughts. And I went through a period of adjustment. I was very lucky in the sense that I went to NYU Film School, and I got a chance to make films. And that was a release, an artistic expression and I did three Vietnam movies. So, I think over the course of those three movies, I learned a lot more and I worked out some of my deepest feelings, that I didn't even recognize at the time.

BILL MOYERS: When you were in Vietnam, were you a natural born killer?

OLIVER STONE: No. No. No. Killing came as a result of a process. They were shooting at us. We were losing men and as I said, it was a combat situation in the jungle. But I think I did a good job, when I killed, because it saved men and it was a tricky situation. I saved some people. And I did my job as a soldier. But I will always remember the man. I saw him up front, up very close. I saw his body after I killed him. He's still there, you know? But he was doing his job.

BILL MOYERS: He's still there. Where?

OLIVER STONE: I saw his...I mean, he's there as a spirit in my mind. Now, of course, we opened...you know, the Americans fired wildly at times. So, we fired a lot of rounds. So, who knows what else we did. You know, we used to clear space in the jungle with machine gun fire and 79s and mortar fire. We fired a lot of indiscriminate shells. So, there's a lot of casual and collateral damage.

After some more general talk and an excerpt from A Child's Night Dream, Moyers returns to the issue of killing.

Listen:

BILL MOYERS: Once you have taken a life, can you ever look at yourself and other human beings the same way?

OLIVER STONE: Pema Chodron has been on your show. So, I think you understand that Buddhism understands this. I mean, if you take a life, it's a tremendous responsibility. But there are times when you have to take a life and you have to do it quickly and efficiently. And you have to do it, because otherwise more harm can result. So, there are justifications for taking lives. In this case, the soldier that I saw, that I killed, I may have killed others, I think. But this soldier was in a position where he could have killed several people.

BILL MOYERS: You remember what he looked like?

OLIVER STONE: Oh, yeah. More or less. Yeah.

BILL MOYERS: Did your eyes join?

OLIVER STONE: He was dead. No, I threw a grenade in a very difficult situation and it hit the hole he was in. He was in the middle of a group of us, you see. So, the most dangerous thing was that it creates a crossfire. So, that would happen often.

Let's say we all started to fire at once, we'd be hurting each other. So, we were in a very dangerous situation. And he was in a spider hole, actually. He popped up out of nowhere. They had a very remarkable tunnel system and I got him with one toss. And it was a very dangerous toss, actually, because if I'd overthrown the grenade, it would have landed in our own troops.

But I was a good pitcher. I mean, a good baseball player. And I just knew in my body that I would hit this hole at 20-30 yards. Anyway, I saw it. And I live with it. I live with it and I meditate on it. And it's good that I did it, because I did my job as a soldier. If I hadn't done it, I wouldn't... and if I'd let other people be killed and I could have done something about it....I think it was the...who wants to go to war in the first place? But in a war, that was the most efficient way to do things.

The entire interview is very thoughtful and sorrowful but reveals some difficult truths. As Oliver acknowledged once in an interview with Rachel Maddow, the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq clearly brought up difficult feelings.

#oliver stone #vietnam #war #violence #violence in film #combat #military #audio #transcript

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urdearestmom · 6 years

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100 Questions

Tagged by @bob-newby-superhero thanks!!

1. What is your nickname? Sari, Sarita, Sarinha

2. How old are you? 18

3. What is your birth month? December

4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius

5. What is your favourite colour? Green!

6. What’s your lucky number? 17 because it’s my birthday lmao

7. Do you have any pets? No but I really want a cat. Everyone in my family has dogs

8. Where are you from? I’m Luso-Canadian (my family is from Portugal but we live in Canada)

9. How tall are you? My driver’s license says 160 cm but the doctor told me 163. Either way, around 5’3”

10. What shoe size are you? Uhh depends on the shoe but usually 6.5-7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Many, but I always wear the same shit lol

12. Are you random? Sometimes, I guess

13. Last person you texted? I texted myself pictures from my mom’s phone. Last message in general was to @eljane-hoppers

14. Are you psychic in any way? Haha sometimes I think I am, but my mom is more >:^)

15. Last TV show watched? Saw an episode of Four Weddings on TLC this morning

16. Favourite movie? The Book Thief or The Greatest Showman

17. Favourite show from your childhood? iCarly!! Used to watch it religiously after school every day it was on

18. Do you want children? Yes, but definitely not right now lmao

19. Do you want a church wedding? Kind of yeah. It’ll depend on who I end up marrying but it’d probably be some kind of disgrace if I didn’t get married in a church

20. What is your religion? I am Catholic

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yup tons of times, whether for myself or other people

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope, I am a Child of God™

23. How is life? Could be better, probably, but it’s pretty chill right now

24. Baths or showers? Showers, but I also really like baths

25. What colour socks are you wearing? Bold of you to assume I’m wearing socks at all

26. Have you ever been famous? I mean if you google my name the results are me. I was on CBC because I was in the national spelling bee in 2012

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I feel like it’d be fun and cool for a while but then I’d get tired of it. I don’t like having people all up in my business and that seems like what life is like for big celebrities :/ But having a lot of influence would be awesome

28. What type of music do you like? Literally anything except country music (I’m not all that into rap/trap music either, but I can appreciate it from time to time) here’s a playlist of my favourite stuff it’s like seven hours long but if you go through it you’ll see it’s really all kinds :)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Maybe and I don’t remember? My childhood was a questionable era

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2, both under my head

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I usually fall asleep on my side but I almost always wake up on my back so I don’t actually know how I’m sleeping

32. How big is your house? 2 stories and a basement

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cup of milk with something else, usually a bowl of cereal or bread/croissant with Nutella

34. Have you ever left the country? YeET I’ve been to Portugal a bunch of times, Spain once, and to France on a 5-hour layover but we didn’t leave the airport and I don’t remember it anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

35. Have you ever tried archery? Does it count if it was on Wii Sports? And yeah once and I was terrible at it

36. Do you like anyone? I think so and it sucks because he’s my friend :(

37. Favourite swear word? Probably fuck, I say it a lot. But I also say shit a lot so I mean idrk

38. When do you fall asleep? Oof regularly past midnight, but the time varies

39. Do you have any scars? A giant burn mark on my leg and a very faint lil thing on my right hand from this time I accidentally did an entire flip in my driveway

40. Sexual orientation? Was previously sure I was straight but I’m kind of starting to question that?

41. Are you a good liar? I like to think that I’m a very convincing actress

42. What languages would you like to learn? Mm I already speak Portuguese (if you ever wanna learn something hmu), and I learned some French because that’s mandatory in Canada but I dropped it and I want to get back into it. So, French! I also learned some German this year and I might continue with it. Also maybe Spanish, I can already understand some

43. Top 10 songs? Umm

Love Is A Battlefield - Pat Benatar

Rock You Like A Hurricane - Scorpions

Theme From New York, New York - Frank Sinatra

True Faith - New Order

Age Of Consent - New Order

A Million Dreams - The Greatest Showman OST

Second Waltz - Dmitri Shostakovich

Power Of Love - Celine Dion

Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry

Halo - Beyonce

44. Do you like your country? Canada? Yeah, I love it except for the stupid ass weather. I get sick every fucking time the season changes

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yeeee!! They’re all awesome people

46. What is your personality type? INFP- there’s more info here if you want to know what that means

47. Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw ftw bitches

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yesssss

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? Buzzfeed told me that, based on my music taste, I am “a student of classic rock like School of Rock’s Dewey Finn” (but actually HA I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LOVED JACK BLACK IN THAT MOVIE)

50. Left or right handed? Righttttt

51. Are you scared of spiders? They don’t scare me as much as induce some kind of panic, but it really depends what kind of spider. Really little ones are actually kind of cute, but big spiders send me into cardiac arrest

52. Favourite food? Akjsnfskd PASTA

53. Favourite foreign food? Idk man I’m already picky af with my food. If I live in Canada does that make the Portuguese food I eat on a daily basis foreign because if so I loooooove me some fuckin barbecued chicken

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Fairly clean. If I wasn’t my mother would hurt me lol

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Idk probably figure out how to pee standing up, maybe make use of the ability to lie on my stomach without hurting my chest :)

56. What colour underwear? I think this is turquoise

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Depends what I’m getting ready for. On a regular day, ten minutes tops. If I’m going out to an event it can be upwards of an hour; sometimes less, sometimes more

58. Do you have much of an ego? Idk if it’s ego so much as me being confident in myself. Anyone who has a problem with me and decides to be rude about it can suck my non-existent dick

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I try to suck them but it never lasts for long, I almost always bite them unless I’m really concentrating on not biting

60. Do you talk to yourself? Lmfao only ALL THE TIME

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yeee

62. Are you a good singer? I don’t think I’ll blow out your eardrums but I know I’m not the best either. I’ll just say I’m not terrible

63. Biggest Fears? Heights and deep water

64. Are you a gossip? I live for drama does that make me a gossip

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Yeah if I’m talking to someone I’m very comfortable with (my cousin for example) or if I’m trying to be petty

66. Do you have long or short hair? Long! I’m growing it out so I can be really dramatic and chop it all off later (also thinking of donating it)

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I can name almost all of them but I always forget a few. I think it’s pretty good considering I was never taught American geography

68. Favourite school subject? Instrumental music and history were my favourites

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Idk I guess extroverted introvert? Is that a thing???? I’m really awkward and panicky in social situations with people I don’t know but if I have friends around I’m just here to have the time of my life

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No

71. What makes you nervous? Having to talk to people I don’t know (it literally makes me panic it’s horrible)

72. Are you scared of the dark? Sometimes, yeah

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Lmao ok this depends on who the person is and if I’m in that kind of mood (but when I was a kid I used to correct my teachers)

74. Are you ticklish? Yes very

75. Have you ever started a rumour? No

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes, I’ve been to Portugal a bunch of times, Spain once, and France on a layover

77. Have you ever drank underage? Chugged a cup of beer by accident when I was 6 oops

78. Have you ever done drugs? No but even if I had I don’t think I would say it here unless it was something minor like weed

79. What do you fantasize about? Travelling the world!!!!! And like, being a successful adult because right now I have no idea what the actual fuck I’m doing with my life

80. How many piercings do you have? Two, one in each ear

81. Can you roll your Rs? You gotta in Portuguese! I’m also fairly sure my French and German pronunciations are pretty much on point most of the time so I can do those types of R sounds as well

82. How fast can you type? Pretty fast on my phone and not slow on my laptop either (when you’re a writer you end up learning to type faster than you thought you would lol)

83. How fast can you run? Oof I’m not slow when I first start off but that only goes for like max 10 seconds

84. What colour is your hair? Dark brown

85. What colour are your eyes? Also dark brown

86. What are you allergic to? Bigots

87. Do you keep a journal? I have a diary I’ve had since I was like 10 but I don’t write in it very often. I also have a notebook where I write down fic ideas and outline plots

88. Are you depressed about anything? I actually think I might have seasonal depression or something but I’m not sure

89. Do you like your age? Yeah I guess being 18 is cool

90. What makes you angry? People who refuse to listen to reason

91. Do you like your own name? Yes it means princess!

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? No but I ate lead once

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? No preference as long as it is alive and healthy

94. What talents do you have? Uhh I can play two instruments and will be learning a third does that count? I just remembered I can also balance a spoon on my nose

95. Sun or moon? Moon

96. How did you get your name? My mom had a friend named Sara when she was a kid and she always liked the name so here I am having been named Sara

97. Are you religious? Kind of? I don’t go to church very often but I think I believe in God (I believe that there’s something, at least). I’ve also received all the Sacraments that I can (as of right now that’s baptism, first communion, and confirmation)

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Nope

99. Colour of your bedspread? Right now it’s just plain white

100. Colour of your room? Bright green!

Yeet I’m finished! Took forever ‘cause I kept getting interrupted but oh well

tagging: @eljane-hoppers @hannahberrie @mikeywheelerr @queer-deckovskij

#yeet #look at all this information about me #what an interesting person i am #SIKE

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