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#also seperate thing but i also would like to live in a van or something for awhile
arliedraws · 3 months
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You asked about wizarding fashion which is something that lives rent free in my mind at all times so pls excuse the wordvomit
I always imagined it as a very mixed thing. Muggleborns would keep up at least a little with modern muggle fashion for whenever they are visiting family etc so there are probably (muggleborn) tailors who incorporate necklines, sleeves/shoulders/silhouettes that match current or recent muggle fashion. I can imagine these being popular with halfbloods too.
For more .. conservative (racist) wizards and witches it is possible that fashion developed completely seperately from muggle influences. Or even as a direct opposite of muggle influences. They could have seen a new trend come up with muggleborns and decide they want the exact opposite.
I do imagine that some purebloods would dress in clothing more like the boring robes, but that fabrics and embroidery etc could spice it up (moving embroidered birds etc). It's also possible that they have very different ideas on what silhouettes are desirable and they might use boning/petticoats/crinoline/shoulderpads/etc mixed with magic to achieve shapes muggles would never be able to achieve.
Another route is going completely magic oriented and then I imagine Iris van Herpen type styles with movement and floating bits etc
I hope this was somewhat understandable whoops
(I also imagine that Hogwarts uniform Is the really boring plain sword in the stone robes and everyone no matter their background hates them cause they're so outdated and stupid looking)
Ahhhh so much to consider here! And I don’t disagree with any of it.
I love the idea of Iris van Herpen inspired robes!
Oddly enough, I never considered embroidery that’s, like, enchanted to move. There are so many things magic could do with clothing. This idea reminds me a bit of the rejected concept of Elsa’s live fur coat in Frozen.
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This is making me realize how uncreative I’ve been thinking about wizard robes—and ALSO. So many missed opportunities in the HP films to really play with this concept.
Also, also. Hogwarts robes are, to me, definitely the Sword in the Stone type. Very much NOT cute. There’s an ancient post about this that I could probably dig up, but if you know Tealin’s art from the early 2000s, that’s what I think the Hogwarts uniform probably looks like, at least in canon.
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handcat · 3 years
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am once again fighting the tiny version of me in my head who wants to erase my digital footprint <3
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ranger-rai · 3 years
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Alright guys, A lot has happened in the last couple of days so let me catch you all up.
So we have been getting some reports of a "Swarm" of pokemon causing some problems around Sinnoh.
We looked into it and after a couple nights of steakouts, we discovered that our "Swarm" was actually a Purrloin who knew Double Team.
Apparently it had been stealing from alot of small homes, mainly trash.
This Purrloin was incredibly aggressive and seemingly protective of something.
We tracked it down to to a small den just outside of Solaceon Town.
Well we were expecting it to be taking care of its kittens, however we did not expect what we actually found.
-------
We found this Purrloin trying to feed the scraps it stole to a Lycanroc.
The Purrloin was very protective and tried attacking us.
It was surprisingly tough for a single Purrloin, however we managed to restrain it.
However we found it weird that this Dusk Lycanroc wasn't moving or reacting much.
I went and checked it out when it was clear and we found something really unsettling.
This Lycanroc has some spine problems, I know this because it struggled to get up but when it did, it got on four legs, then two legs.
Now a Dusk form Lycanroc is made to be on all four like this
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However its back is arced upwards like it's slouching.
It's also shaking a bit, and is covered in scratches and bruises.
Every time I try and get close the Purrloin starts thrashing and clawing.
We let it go and it made its way back to the Lycanroc, and started to guard it again.
We knew this was bad, so we made a plan to try and help them.
-------
We managed to get Purrloin secure once again and Lycanroc into a cage very carefully, but we kept them close together as we transported them.
Lycanroc was surprisingly docile and just seemed tired and dehydrated, so we made sure it got plenty of water.
Purrloin was on edge the whole time, making sure that Lycanroc ate, and keeping us at a distance, but I caught her eating from time to time.
We had to hold her down once again, but she used her double team to evade us for a bit. She really knows how to use that move.
Eventually we restrained her when we got to the Ranger Base and we had a medical technician look at Lycanroc.
They said that it had some severe spine misalignment, not from an injury but from constant strain.
At some point during our conversation, we noticed Lycanroc trying to get up, and "stand up" again on two legs, like a Midnight Form Lycanroc.
It was really odd to see, and the tech helped put it him back onto two legs, but it almost seemed scared to be touched when in that position.
This wasn't battle damage, this was intentional trauma.
Purrloin was definitely upset, and managed to get free and started scratching at the technician.
Thankfully I restrained her so the technician could work more, and I calmed her down a bit.
The tech said that they would need to run some tests on the Lycanroc to see if they could fix his back, so we had to let him stay for a while.
However we couldn't leave Purrloin there in case she tried to attack the tech again.
-------
I didn't want to seperate them, but I needed her to be somewhere safe while the technician did his job, so I got her into a carrier and took her with me on my rounds.
She was hissing and scratching for a while but I sat and talked with her for a bit and she seemed pretty alert but much calmer.
Most of the day was just a usual trip around my areas, however I started finding alot more litter in some areas.
There was alot of trash on the ground in a park area just outside Veilstone City, and normally I would pick it all up, but there was alot, almost like there was a carnival recently there, but there was nothing planned as far as I knew.
I also noticed Purrloin getting really upset and hissing a lot.
I looked around the trash and found a bunch of flyers for some kind of venue.
"Mister E's Enigmas"
The flyer listed a sort of sideshow of oddities.
Things like:
The Fire Breathing Treecko Brothers, Dancing Donphan, and their star attraction-
"The Were-Lycanroc" a pokemon that could switch between forms.
That's when it hit me, and I knew someone was going to get in trouble.
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After bringing this information to the technician and my boss Jo. Me and my Ranger Team decided to attend the show incognito to see if we were right, and boy we wish we weren't.
We attended what could only be described as a shifty, pop up carnival.
There were a few games, a couple food trucks, and a large tent that held the "main events".
There were some "exotic" holding cages that people could interact with like a small cage for two Emolga to live in, they could barely get into the air before smacking into the roof.
There was a small area that had a large heat lamp for "desert" pokemon, but it was mostly a browning Cacnea, a Trapinch with barely enough sand to cover its body, and a Salandit which didn't belong there.
There were others but we already knew what those cages would be like as well.
The show kn the main stage was getting ready to start, so we decided to check it out.
"Mister E" took to the stage, he had your typical big top attire, top hat, long tails, but he had a stripey pattern that made him look like a hypnotic wheel.
He introduced his first act, which was "The Fire Breathing Treecko Brothers". I was worried.
Now Treecko is a Grass Type, and it only learns one grass type move naturally: Sunny Day.
They also don't have any natural immunities to fire types, so this didn't make much sense for normal Treecko.
From what I saw in the act, they learned how to eat fire and pretend they were using flamethrower. However you could tell they didn't like it. Treecko are calm and collected pokemon, but those two looked stressed out, and they were molting a bit in certain areas near their face and tails, probably due to the flames and stress.
After them was the "Dancing Donphan". Donphan is a very heavy pokemon, and it's main skill is rolling like a tire.
This Donphan looked much lighter, like it hadn't been fed its regular amount to keep it healthy.
Minnie also mounted out that the music playing during the dance had a weird sound mixed in. Basically, whenever we heard the sound, Donphan would do a move like jumping or rolling over. The sound was similar to a sort of crash, but it was clear that it was a sound that Donphan was afraid of.
Now came the finale, "The Were-Lycanroc" however that part didn't happen, and instead they brought out some clowns and the Treecko Brothers again.
Thats when we knew what was really happening.
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I went back to check on Lycanroc who was sleeping like a log with Purrloin right next to it.
I didn't remember any cages with any feline pokemon in them so maybe it was just a wild Purrloin, but I wasn't going to disturb them to find out.
The doctor told me that it might take some time, but Lycanroc's spine and back legs were forced to move in positions they weren't supposed to for so long, that it would take some time, therapy and equipment to help it.
If there was a chance to help this poor pokemon I knew we would take it, but we also couldn't leave all of those other pokemon to suffer.
We were about to get really busy at the Ranger Base.
------
The next day, Me and Minnie went incognito one more time and we had to sit through that horrible show once more.
We had Skip with us, helping to send info and let us know of any devices or intercept their communications.
Turns out we didn't know that was happening because they had police scanners to avoid getting caught and they had wireless security cameras inside the tent.
They were prepared, but so were we.
My whole team was on board, both Humans and Pokemon.
We had a plan that began with Kuriboh knocking out some generators by sneaking around and unplugging everything he could.
That caused some confusion for a bit while we got in place. While they went to secure their "precious cargo", we made our presence known.
Eddie was outside the tent, dealing with the muscle and moving crews, his Bewear is very strong and pretty quick too, so we didn't need to worry about them much.
However we still had Mister E.
I told Bliss to keep an eye on him so we wouldn't loose him in the panic, but we had a delay as some of the Treeco Bros fire got out of control and some of the tent started to catch on fire.
Minnie and her Cloyster were immediately ready to deal with it and she was ready to help the Treeco Bros as well.
Bliss was able to keep tabs on the ringleader who was trying to get into his van and split, most likely with his cash.
However, Sylvester doesn't like people who mistreat pokemon, and Jo's Tangrowth has some really strong vines. Strong enough to rip car doors off hinges.
------
We had caught this terrible man, and we discovered he had been doing this for a couple of years, just now making his way through Sinnoh, and he was looking for some pokemon to add to his show.
We also watched some of his security tapes and we learned that "Were-Lycanroc" was really just a Dusk Form that he forced to stand up and slouch over by constantly whipping with a flexible stick. And with the assistance of red lights, smoke machines and music, hey could make people think it was changing forms.
We also learned that Purrloin was tossed into Lycanroc's cage, possibly as a "play thing" but I guess he actually made a friend either her and hiding her from Mister E, and she had been caring for him as well, stealing food and causing trouble for them whenever she could.
Needless to say, we were able to get them arrested, and we are now in the process of evaluating some of these pokemon, but we may have too many to deal with here.
We might need to reach out for some help.
------
In the case of Lycanroc and Purrloin, they are comfortably resting in holding, and Lycanroc is be getting fitted for some equipment to help its spine and legs heal.
I'll be checking on them soon, but for now me and my team need to rest after this long day.
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pink-flame · 3 years
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Not Working - For Lilly 💜
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLY!
For @chickwiththepurpleguitar
So, this is set in the world of WFW about a year after Julie left but it's not canon (yes I have my own canon 😂) within the WFW universe. In the world of my actual fic Luke and Bobby are just chaotic best friends/brothers who show their platonic love through fighting constantly. However, Lilly wanted Bobby pining after Luke in this universe and I love her so I have created this un-official splinter universe for her hc to live in. It does incorporate some of my actual ideas for the end of Sunset Curve in that original timeline though, just minus the pining. 😂 I hope you like it, my friend! 🥰(Also, I only went 100 words over our agreed upon word limit. Aren't you proud???)
It wasn’t working.
That was Bobby’s main thought as they packed up all their gear at the end of one of the final shows of their first tour. It was at least 2am, possibly later and they were all dragging as they forced their bodies through the second nature routine of getting everything safely into Beatrice. They had been all up and down the West Coast for the past few months, playing to decent sized crowds and getting a good response. The problem was this tour was supposed to be the thing that pushed them to the next level of success and that...that clearly wasn’t working.
Radio stations were completely uninterested in booking them to promote their performances.
Multiple venues had pulled out of hosting them at the last minute despite tickets already being sold, leaving them scrambling to find alternatives or canceling stops outright.
Even the company that printed their cheap t-shirts had politely declined their request to re-up their order.
It was like Sunset Curve had gone from being a band on the verge to a band on the verge of being unable to book a gig. None of this was that surprising given the fact that they had gone against Dec from Red Rose Records, an executive famous for holding grudges and exerting every bit of his influence to make things difficult for his targets. Part of Bobby had wanted to believe that Queenie would be able to intervene on their behalf, that she would finally stand up to her dad and find a way to make things easier for all of them. Part of him had wanted to believe she still cared enough about him to try.
Maybe she had and maybe she hadn’t and at the end of the day he couldn’t blame her either way. It had been a terrible situation all around...Luke’s attitude and Queenie’s dad insisting on that unfair contract and Bobby himself being completely incapable of putting everything out in the open when he was so scared of losing either Queenie or Luke. And that was to say nothing of Julie...all the absolute insanity that had been going on with Julie even though none of them knew it. It was because of her that he knew things could have gone much worse, could have ended with his friends dead and him as a hollow rockstar who betrayed the people he loved the most.
So even though he had loved Queenie (was probably still in love with her) and things with the band were quickly going downhill, he couldn’t bring himself to be entirely as depressed about those facts as he would have expected. He had his friends, they had each other, and they still had music. That wasn’t something anyone could take from them. It wasn’t perfect but it was enough. For him it was enough.
But he was also a realist and the reality was that things with the band weren’t working.
By the time they made it back to the questionable motel where they were staying for the night they were all dragging even more. Alex and Reggie disappeared into one of the rooms right away, barely pausing to wave goodnight to Bobby and Luke before they were shutting the door in their faces and presumably collapsing directly into bed. At the start of the tour they had all four shared a room in an effort to make their almost nonexistent tour budget stretch a little further but Alex had promptly declared Luke’s talking (and sometimes singing) in his sleep to be a crime against humanity and that to avoid him ending up with a murder charge they were going to need seperate rooms. Reggie had immediately started listing off various games he and Bobby could play to decide who got stuck sharing with Luke but Bobby had shut them all up by volunteering. That had earned him an odd look from Alex but Luke had clapped him on the back and made a speech about how it was nice to have someone on his side and the warm feeling that bloomed in Bobby’s chest was enough to help him forget opening his mouth meant he wouldn’t be sleeping much for the rest of the tour.
If he was being honest though he hadn’t exactly slept well for the better part of 2 years now. Even before Julie had arrived and all the madness that followed, Bobby had spent most nights laying awake for hours unable to fully ignore the fact that Luke was out in Wonderland curled up uncomfortably on that damn couch he still hadn’t figured out folded out. Bobby had spent a lot of time thinking about that and why exactly he could neither bring himself to go out and unfold the dumb bed himself and make sure Luke was ok or just fall asleep and ignore his friend’s relative comfort. So instead he had drifted off most nights tossing and turning, worrying about the boy who was so close and yet a world away.
So it really wasn’t that big of an adjustment for Bobby to be lying awake in various seedy motel rooms, trying no to think about how thoroughly the sheets had been cleaned and listening for the even breaths that would indicate his friend was getting some rest. He was often awakened again before long when Luke started talking in his sleep, snippets of nonsense bleeding into half-finished song lyrics fading into Julie’s name.
Bobby pretended to be asleep. He pretended not to hear.
He was a coward in some ways, always had been.
He didn’t have Alex’s wise advice or Reggie’s unexpected insights or Luke’s inspiring speeches. He didn’t have Queenie’s blunt truth telling. He didn’t even have Julie’s ability to make everything better simply by making sure you knew she was with you.
He just had good intentions and a tendency to avoid his problems, a useless combination.
But even he couldn’t ignore the way on this particular night Luke’s breathing never did even out. Instead, after barely twenty minutes of both of them lying still in their uncomfortable beds, Bobby listened as Luke slipped out of bed, pulled on his sneakers and slipped outside. He instantly sat up in the darkness and debated his next move. The typical Bobby move would be to lay back down and pretend he hadn’t noticed. That’s probably what Luke expected him to do. It might have even been what he wanted Bobby to do.
But Bobby was so sick of turning away and pretending he didn’t see what was happening around him. Pretending he didn’t see the blow up between Queenie and Luke coming, pretending he didn’t see that Julie was hiding something, pretending the writing wasn’t on the wall when it came to the future of Sunset Curve. Pretending he didn’t see how Luke still missed Julie like a phantom limb, an empty space that nonetheless managed to be an aching wound. Pretending Queenie didn’t represent the same to him. Pretending that despite the fact that he had loved Queenie (probably still did) he also thought...maybe...the other ache he felt came from loving something else...someone else...so much closer yet just as out of reach.
That wasn’t something he could ever say out loud. It just wasn’t. He was a realist and the reality was that Luke had loved Julie, still did and always would in a way that Bobby couldn’t fully understand even though he had witnessed it up close. He was never going to be the brave one, the one who told the truth just for the sake of doing it, just for an impossible chance.
So he couldn’t say out loud his inconvenient truth that maybe he had fallen in love with his best friend, just a little bit. He couldn’t.
But he could force his sock clad feet down onto the disgusting motel carpet. He could put his shoes on and slip outside and make sure his best friend was ok.
He could do that.
So he did.
At first as he blinked into the semi-darkness of the parking lot, a few flickering bulbs the only available source of light, he didn’t spot Luke at all. He felt a brief sense of rising panic flicker through him until the sound of shifting metal had his eyes darting over to the spot where Beatrice was parked. He squinted and could just make out Luke’s silhouette, hauling himself up onto the roof of Bobby’s van.
Bobby’s concern quickly melted into annoyance as he stomped over, coming to a stop next to his van and hissing up at the boy on top.
“What the hell are you doing up there?” Bobby demanded. “You’re going to put so many dents in the roof!”
Luke just scoffed, leaning over to peer down at Bobby with an annoyingly not at all repentant smile.
“Come on, Bobby,” He fired back. “Beatrice is 90% dents at this point. It’s part of her charm.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong there.
“That doesn’t explain why you’re up there,” Bobby grumbled.
Some of the cockiness drained out of Luke’s voice when he spoke again.
“Couldn’t sleep. Sometimes...sometimes looking at the stars helps.”
Bobby didn’t have to ask what exactly looking at the stars helped. He knew. And it wasn’t falling asleep.
It was missing Julie.
So Bobby didn’t fire back any of the relevant and bitingly hilarious retorts on the tip of his tongue. He simply sighed deeply before gripping the hood and hauling himself up to join his friend. If Luke was surprised by his decision he didn’t say anything, only reached his hand down to help pull Bobby up the rest of the way until they were both settled on the roof. Luke laid back and rested one of his arms behind his head as a pillow and Bobby mirrored him on the other side, their shoulders just brushing.
He had to admit, the view of the sky was a lot better than it had any right to be given where they were. Apparently they were just far enough outside of the city that the stars had a chance against the glow of civilization. The tiny pinpricks of light stretched out as far as he could see, their patterns and forms probably lost on Luke but he doubted his friend had come up here for a lesson on constellations and myths so Bobby kept his mouth shut.
Or at least he did for about 30 seconds before he glanced over at Luke and immediately regretted that decision. It was too hard to ignore all of the things he had been working so hard lately to ignore when they were this close.
He cleared his throat and brought his focus back to the reason he had followed Luke out in the first place.
“Any better?” He asked simply, rolling his head back to its original position so he could stare at the much safer vision of the stars again.
Bobby felt Luke shrug, his shoulder jostling against Bobby’s briefly.
“A little,” He said, sucking in a deep breath and then releasing it. “I just figure these are probably the same stars Julie’s looking at, you know?”
“Except for the ones obscured by 25 years of additional light pollution,” Bobby agreed.
“Wow, thanks, buddy,” Luke said dejectedly.
Bobby sighed and tried again.
“You know none of the stars we’re seeing are actually as they appear now, right? They’re so far away that even though that light is traveling to us extremely quickly it can still take years to get here.”
“I didn’t come up here for Bobby’s science time,” Luke mumbled.
“I’m saying that looking at the stars is like looking into the past,” Bobby insisted. “Julie’s probably not only looking up at the same stars, some of the one’s she’s seeing are how they appeared right here, right now. Isn’t that kind of cool?”
There was a brief pause giving Bobby just enough time to wonder if he had blown it again before Luke answered.
“Yeah,” Luke grumbled begrudgingly. “That is cool.”
Bobby couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction at that. Science could be comforting at times even if literature was his first love. The point was it had worked and he and Luke were back on solid ground again, or at least back on the creaking and protesting roof of his poor van.
“Have you heard from Queenie?” Luke asked, startling Bobby from his thoughts.
Bobby stiffened and shook his head before realizing it was too dark for Luke to see that gesture.
“Nah,” He answered, keeping his voice forcibly casual.
“Sorry,” Luke said simply.
“I’m sorry it’s still so hard,” Bobby returned. “Without Julie.”
“It’s fine,” Luke replied quickly. “Well, not fine, it’s hard everyday. You know that, but...I’m ok. I really am. You don’t have to worry.”
“But I obviously do,” Bobby snapped before realizing his mistake. “I mean all of us do.”
If Luke noticed his slip he didn’t comment on it.
“I’m always going to miss her,” He said softly. “But I believe she’s happy with her family and I have you guys and music and I’m happy too. Mostly. Usually.”
Bobby tried and failed not to let that traitorous warmth grow in his chest again at the thought of being one of the things that made Luke happy.
It wasn’t working.
So he turned his attention to the other thing that wasn’t working, the other conversation they needed to have, in an effort to distract himself.
“The tour’s almost over,” He started carefully. “Time to make some decisions.”
Luke let out another one of those deep breaths, Bobby instinctively scooting just half an inch closer until he could reassure himself with the feeling of Luke’s next inhale.
“I know,” Luke acknowledged, his voice sounding tired but not pained.
“Dec’s never going to let this band make it big,” Bobby continued gently. “And we’re almost out of money. Again.”
“I know that too,” Luke said softly. “I just wanted to finish out the tour before I made myself accept it. Even with all the struggling it has been pretty rad, hasn’t it?”
Bobby thought back to the hours and hours of driving in a smelly van and the gross motels and the cancellations and the crappy pay and the absolutely crushing exhaustion. He also thought back to the time spent with his best friends, and the small crowds singing their words back to them, and their dream, or at least some small portion of it that they had scraped and bled to come true.
He thought of Luke’s elated grin when they were playing their first song every night.
“Yeah,” He agreed with a soft smile that he knew Luke wouldn’t be able to see. “It’s been pretty rad.”
“We could keep trying…” Luke offered half-heartedly. “If we keep pushing long enough maybe something in this industry will give.”
“Or we’ll end up washed up and hating each other,” Bobby countered.
“That’s another possibility,” Luke sighed yet again. “But this is all we’ve got, Bobby.”
“Reggie’s been applying to film schools,” Bobby said, cringing at the groaning metal noise that came with Luke’s surprised reaction as he rolled toward his friend.
“He has? Why didn’t he tell me?” Luke asked.
“Nobody wants to let you down,” Bobby explained gently, turning his head to meet Luke’s confused gaze. “We love music, we do. We wanted this, so badly, you know that. But...it’s not like it is for you. It’s not...everything.”
“He could have told me,” Luke grumbled. “I would have been happy for him. I am happy for him.”
“Hey, you can tell him that tomorrow,” Bobby reassured him. “I figure we’re due for one last band meeting.”
“This sucks,” Luke huffed out, turning his head back up to the stars. “Like I don’t have any regrets cause we gave it our best shot, and I want all of you to be happy even if that’s not in the band. But on top of...well, everything else...it still sucks.”
“Yeah,” Bobby agreed simply. “It really sucks.”
“What are you going to do?” Luke asked.
“I don’t know,” Bobby offered honestly. “Maybe go to college? Study literature or psychology.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to be a shrink like your parents,” Luke teased.
“Hey, I think we’ve all proven that there are a lot of kids out there who could use someone to talk to about their messed up family dynamics,” Bobby said.
“Too bad they might get stuck talking to you,” Luke joked, bumping his shoulder with Bobby’s and sending an incredibly annoying shock of happiness through him.
“Shut up,” Bobby mumbled, not meaning it. Not at all.
There were a few seconds of silence before Luke spoke up again.
“I really am happy for all of you to do whatever you want,” He said firmly. “Seriously. But I can’t give up on music.”
“I know,” Bobby said softly. “It won’t be easy.”
“Hey,” Luke replied. “I figure impossible is relative in my life at this point.”
Bobby couldn’t resist a short bark of laughter at that.
“Yeah, that’s fair.”
They were silent again for a few long moments before Bobby found just enough courage to give voice to one last fear.
“Hey, Luke? We’re still going to be friends right?”
Luke’s answer came quickly.
“Of course, man. You’re my best friend. Band or no band.”
Bobby nodded, not caring this time that Luke couldn’t see him. When he answered he could hear the held back tears in his voice and he was pretty sure Luke could too.
“Band or no band.”
Luke reached out blindly and latched his hand around Bobby’s, just for a second, but the contact was enough to leave Bobby’s fingers tingling long after his friend had retracted his.
He tried to pretend that it was just the result of some kind of electric shock but…it wasn’t working.
Still.
He couldn’t bring himself to be sad about managing to fall in love with yet another person who couldn’t give him everything he wanted.
Julie had taught them a lot of things but one of the big ones was that something didn’t have to end the way you hoped it would for it to be beautiful, and meaningful and worth it. Love didn’t have to be forever or even returned in the same way to be beautiful, and meaningful and worth it.
Bobby had loved both Queenie and Luke (he probably still did) and he didn’t regret either.
Queenie would always be someone he wished the best for from afar and Luke?
Luke would always be his best friend.
Band or no band.
And that would keep working
He would make sure of it.
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solschem · 3 years
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Roadtrip ft. PmBata from Dream Analysis /Interpretation
I’m a little bit of a music nerd and thought why not. Lyrics will be italicized and quoted lyrics will be bolded. While some things may be stated rather bluntly, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. I don’t care if something is added just to sound nice, because it’s still music. Good music isn’t limited to complex and intricate pieces, and I will fight you over that. I will also be mostly focused on my interpretation rather than the intended meaning. I will treat Dream the same way I treat Mozart, looking at the looking at the official notes and tossing them to the wind. While the original intent is important, it’s only one way of many to look at a piece, and I’ve always preferred me and my band’s understanding of a piece instead of sticking solely to source material. In short, I find musicality very important. 
First off most of this will be stating the obvious, because it’s a rather simplistic song. It is the definition of radio friendly, which makes sense with Dream’s brand. They didn’t have each note add onto and change the meaning, but neither did Mozart. His pieces were known to be simplistic, yet we still look back at him as one of the greats of classical music.
Also, I will mostly be looking at the lyrics as if it’s talking about a relationship. I know Dream has said that it’s not solely a love song, but the lyrics are phrased in that way (assumingly because love songs are what do the best), so a large amount of this analysis will be built upon that assumption
You’re immediately hit with nostalgia as once the first notes come in. It’s a somber summer road trip. It honestly reminds me of Sea Glass by Rick Kirby, because even though the styles are completely different, the imagery is very strong and makes it easy to picture what’s happening. That can be very important for keeping the attention of the listener and to have them coming back again. The first few notes immediately make that emotional connection and brings you to the headspace of the singer.  (actual lyric analysis after the read more)
“People change like the tides in the ocean At least I think or am I dead wrong?”
   I see this as wondering if someone changed, or if he never really knew them. Trying to accept what’s happened, while still looking back and trying to find answers
“Foot on the brake at the light, I don't notice I sit and wait until the next song”
   He’s stagnant with where he’s at with acceptance. The nostalgia has left him frozen where he’s at. The green light could mean that life is telling him to move forward and move on, but he’s still waiting for the next song, the next wave of emotions, the next push to keep going. He’s on autopilot with his memories, but in this case they’re holding him back
“Twenty hours in an old van Up the east coast through the cold wind Drove twenty hours by the ocean Up the east coast, what a road trip
Now that interstate is paved with memories Of a past life I lived when I was eighteen And evеry winter, I think back to what we used to bе In that past life we lived at eighteen”    He’s only 21, which could be showing at how fast life moves in your early adult years. 18 was only 3 years ago, but it was also a life time ago. You and your friends are not the same people you were back then. College, jobs, bills, taxes, and the sorts are major landmarks for your life. Those are the things that really push you into the next stage of your life. That glow of being an adult but still feeling like a child wears off at some point in between the responsibilities, but at the end of the day you’re still you. To me, it’s referring to a time that only exists in memories. There wasn’t a time when none of these things mattered, but there was a time where it wasn’t at the forefront of every thought. It’s that naive innocence and ignorance that you can’t get back
“Oh, oh, oh Woah, woah, woah Oh, oh, oh Woah, woah, woah
Uh, I reminisce about a past life Things change, I get it 'cause nothing lasts, right?”
   PmBata’s lines are more obviously about a relationship, which makes sense with making the song marketable. I”ll be treating his and Dream’s lines as if they’re seperate stories for the most part. Here it represents him understanding that “nothing lasts”, but still being hung up over her. Blaming the end on it bound on happening eventually, instead of the issues with the relationship. There’s the denial of anything happening, because he’s not ready to move on. 
“Yeah, and I was thinkin' 'bout her last night Scrollin' through our memories, debatin' 'bout our last times”
   This is when you’re looking back at your old texts, pictures, and posts together. Wondering where everything went wrong. It’s honestly self-destructive and can lead to a spiral of negative thoughts and emotions. It’s giving into what you know is wrong, but there’s the need to make sense of it all. It’s the search for closure when there’s none to find
“Ayy, for a minute we was cool Then we flew just a little too close to the sun Now we finished, now we through Guess we knew one day we would have to grow up”
   Really cements the idea of young love. It was short and intense, but when the relationship actually got serious it fell apart. They weren’t ready for the next step. 
“Twenty hours in an old Ford Across the Midwest, thinking, "What for?" Drove twenty hours, but it's hopeless Across the Midwest, what a road trip”
   This captures the idea of escaping old memories, but you can’t run far enough. Avoiding them only worked for so long, but it’s time to face them. “thinking, What for?” is him saying that it’s worthless to drive and forget. The present is haunted with the past, and it’s time to confront those ghosts.
“Now that interstate is paved with memories Of a past life I lived when I was eighteen And every winter, I think back to what we used to be In that past life we lived at eighteen”
   The song ends without those feelings of nostalgia being resolved. In the end, they’re still both reminiscing on the past and trying to make sense of it. Life has completely changed and they’re nowhere near to who they were 3 years ago, but they’re still both young and not yet ready to move on. They’re still on the cusp of adulthood, but they are putting the next foot forward as they’re looking behind their backs.
_________
I hope this all made sense. Once again it’s all based off of my interpretation. I know the first couple of lines are completely off on what dream said that it’s about, but I see it more as the desperate and futile attempts at escaping your memories. At some point you have to realize that you need to acknowledge them and accept what’s happened, and this song is right before that. 
I would like to talk on the instruments used, but there’s not much to say. It doesn’t really add onto the meaning. They more of enhance the experience like a movie score, instead of telling a story like a orchestra. Contrary to popular belief it’s not a bad thing, it just means it’s less important for this song. The feeling of nostalgia and summer are very clear and present, which means the the music did its job very well. I really like it, there’s just not a reason to talk about it more
I typically do analysis for songs with more focus in the instruments, so this was a welcome break from that. It’s nice to not have to look at every single time a new instrument comes up and try to derive meaning from that. I love doing it, but it’s exhausting and songs like this are a nice change of pace
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softforcal · 5 years
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Pong Master : Harry Styles
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Summary: You’re Harry’s best friend and he invites you down to the tropics while he’s writing his new album. You’ve always been secretly into each other and it comes to a climax over a game of Strip Ping Pong.
Warnings: i mean. its smut. but it’s also soft.
Word Count: 9.4k
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     When you’d arrived at the remote villa and realized that the casita living room had a ping pong table, it had been obvious that copious amounts of time would be spent with playing against Harry who was a known lover of the ‘sport.’
     As one of his best friends in the whole world, Harry had invited you down to the tropics to hang out and have fun while he worked on a new album. You’d known when you agreed to the ‘vacation’ that a lot of his time would go towards working. Most of the people he invited in his entourage were musicians, you being practically the only one who had no obvious reason to be there.
     But Harry had insisted on you coming. You supposed it made sense. He could spend hours working and surrounding himself with musically inclined people but at the end of the day, he often just wanted to collapse on the couch with you and put on some cheesy romantic movie that you’d both seen way too many times.
     The house Harry had rented was huge, with its own studio, multiple bedrooms for everyone, a pool, a massive kitchen and two living rooms. A decently sized casita next to the pool had a bedroom and the room with the pool table, there was also a dart board and a large tv with a couch.
     The property definitely had enough space for you to roam around in and do your own thing while people worked on the album, and the town and beach were only a short walk away. There was nothing about the situation that you could complain about.
     Harry had assigned rooms and he claimed that there were a lot of factors he had considered that he was ‘not at liberty to discuss’ and people rolled with it, fanning out over the villa. He’d walked with you out to the casita, carrying your bag like the gentleman he was.
     “So… why am I all the way out here?” you asked hesitantly as your fingers skimmed the top of the pool table, trying to sound nonchalant, but something must have slipped through the cracks because Harry frowned, setting your bag down.
     “Put you out here cuz we’re going to be working a lot love, figured you could get away from the sounds in case we stay up late or start early.”
     It was a good reason, “oh, i hadn’t thought of that.” you admitted, flashing a smile at Harry who still looked concerned.
     “You didn’t think I wanted you out here to keep you seperate or-” he began but you cut him off by placing your hand on his heavily tattooed forearm.
     “I mean, the thought crossed my mind, but it’s cool Harry, you just explained it to me, it’s good.” you reassured him.
     He looked over your face, gauging if you were being legitimate or just trying to make him feel better. When he had decided that, as you said, it was no worry, he finally grinned, “plus… ping pong table!”
     “Yeah.” you laughed as both of you turned your gaze to it.
     “We can stay up as late as we want out here playing ping pong or watching movies and we won’t keep anyone else awake, yeah?” he asked, trying again to give you more insight into why he’d put you in the separate (and slightly secluded) Casita.
     “What if I get lonely out here?” you asked, only half joking.
     “Well you’re welcome inside any time you want love, my bed is big enough for the both of us, or I could come here, we haven’t had a proper sleep over in ages.” he sighed.
     It had been quite some time since you’d shared a bed. It used to be something you two had done when you were younger, but as the years went by, things had gotten more difficult.
     Not by anything either of you had done, but when it came out that Harry Styles’ best friend was a girl and bed sharing was a thing… well, the media had had a field day, and just like other relationships in his life, yours had been slightly marred from the limelight. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed, but it was a factor to consider whenever the two of you hung out.
     Leaving his apartment in the morning after a night of crying from watching the titanic just didn’t have the same appeal as it once had when you realized you’d be all over the tabloids and internet within a few hours of getting home.
     “Let’s get you settled then.” Harry suggested, once more picking up your bag and carrying it into the bedroom attached to the main casita area. The bed was huge and windows overlooked the ocean, “you also have the best view.” Harry pointed out.
     You elbowed your best friend in the ribs before jumping onto the king sized bed. He set your bags down and joined you, the two of you jumping for a little bit before collapsing, backs pressing against the soft duvet as you stared at the ceiling, “this album is going to be a good one Harry, i can feel it.”
     “I fucking hope so.”
---
     You’d spent the entire first day with the group of musicians, checking out the villa then going into town to get groceries. You stuck to Harry’s side like glue, still not as close to the others in the group as you would have liked to be, but Harry didn’t mind.
     His arm slung over your shoulder casually as you walked through the small supermarket. He was on one of his cleanses again, filling the shopping cart with all sorts of vegetables and fruits.
     He’d held up a fruit you’d never seen before in your life, all spiney and yellow, “this can be juiced right?” he asked.
     “How should I know?” you’d laughed, watching him toss it into the cart along with some coconuts and kiwis. He grabbed a little of everything, wanting to have the house stocked with as many tropical health foods as he could, things that would be easy enough to eat while working.
     Harry had rented a large van for the duration of the stay and everyone had piled inside to be driven the short ten minute distance to town. With the added groceries it was obvious there wouldn’t be enough space for the large group and Harry, as always, was the first to volunteer to walk back instead of hitching a ride.
     The road gave a beautiful view of the ocean and the warm tropical air was pleasant, the day too early to be too hot to handle, so you’d agreed to walk with him.
     His musician friends had promised to have everything set up for working by the time you two walked back to the villa and Harry had waved his hand, saying “don’t worry about it.” because Harry rarely outwardly worried.
     You’d chatted while you walked, discussing the vibe he wanted to accomplish and the lyrics he’d already started working on.
     It had always been easy for you to talk to Harry. That was a perk of growing up together, you were completely comfortable around each other.
     When you got back to the villa, someone had prepared a whole tray of sandwiches and sliced fruit. The main living room where they would be jamming had a whole glass wall section that opened up, exposing the pool and stunning view of the ocean.
     You grabbed some food and went to the casita, leaving your door open as you ate, checking out the place you’d be living for the next few weeks while the soft sound of a guitar filled the room.
     When you’d finished eating, you checked out the dart board, taking a few practice throws to see if you could get the hang of it so that when you finally competed against Harry, you’d be at least a little bit ahead.
     Then you went to the tv, turning it on to see if it had Netflix which, thankfully, it did.
     There were a few rom coms you hadn’t seen, the type of movie that you knew Harry would enjoy, so you made a mental note to remember to bring them up later.
     As the day got hotter and the musicians had been working for a few hours, you decided to go for a swim in the pool. Putting on a cute little bikini you had bought specially for the trip, you grabbed a towel and left the casita.
     People seemed to be taking a bit of a break. Harry still sat with Mitch and a writer, the three of them agonizing over a sheet of paper while others walked around the kitchen or sat in the shade on their phones.
     You felt Harry’s eyes on you as you set down your towel and slid into the pool, enjoying the coolness of the water that contrasted the heat of the air.
     There was a small commotion and by the time you turned to look, a huge splash had hit you in the face and you screamed, knowing exactly what had just happened.
     Your best friend resurfaced, shaking his short shaggy curls like a dog, sending water flying everywhere. Harry’s hand pushed his hair out of his face and exposed his cheeky, dimpled grin.
     He was still fully clothed and you laughed, “just couldn’t wait to get in the water huh?”
     “Nope, looked invitin’.” he mused, swimming closer to you.
     “Don’t even think about it Styles.” you warned but he was already trying to grab at you. His hands slipped against your skin as you wiggled away, splashing at him in an effort to escape. Harry’s laugh was music to your ears as you managed to evade his prying hands and the promise of being fully dunked under the water.
     He chased you around the pool for a little while, the two of you splashing at each other and giggling, then Mitch called Harry back to continue to work.
     “This isn’t over.” Harry promised. His hands went to the side of the pool and you watched his shoulders, strong under the soaking wet button up he was still wearing. Harry easily pulled himself out of the pool, shaking some of the water off of himself, discarding his shirt and his pants on the pool deck which made everyone groan. Mitch threw Harry a towel and he padded inside to get a change of clothes.
     You continued to swim around, grabbing a floaty to lounge on while you listened to their progress for a little while.
     Harry tried to control himself, but his eyes kept going to you.
     Laying flat on an ice cream shaped blow up, eyes closed as you tanned, you were gorgeous. He swallowed, tearing his gaze away from you, he focused back to his work but, like clockwork, his eyes found you again and again and again.
     When you finally left to go back to your casita, Harry was able to concentrate.
     At around dinner time, you came back out. Everyone was still working and the sound of Harry singing comforted you while you began to cook. They were all busy so you thought it would be nice if you made dinner for everyone.
     Spaghetti and meatballs were easy enough to make. While the noodles cooked and the meatballs heated in the oven you chopped up a large salad, knowing that not everyone would be down for the carbs.
     When the smell of cooking food reached the group working, they finally took a break. Harry joined you in the kitchen, standing next to you, eyes going to the pasta.
     “Look at you, what a chef.” he mused, watching as you took a strand of pasta out of the boiling water to see if it was cooked.
     You handed it to him and he put it in his mouth, nodding his head to tell you it was done.
     He silently helped you, carrying the pot to the sink where you set up a colander. You put the finished pasta back in the empty pot and he set it down, grabbing plates for everyone while you took the meatballs from the oven, mixing everything.  
     The two of you had always just clicked, working in sync. Always aware of where the other was.
     A light touch on the small of your back had you moving slightly to make room for Harry and a little bump of your hip against him would make him laugh, getting out of your way.
     His friends watched the two of you work and everyone helped take the food to the large dinner table.
     Harry sat at the head of the table, immediately moving a chair out for you with his foot as you took a seat on his right side.
     As everyone ate, you discussed music, world politics, what was on the top charts, that sort of thing. Whenever Harry felt like you weren’t putting much into the conversation because you were shy, he’d direct things at you. He knew you inside and out so it was easy enough for him to slip things into the conversation.
     You found yourself getting more and more comfortable with the others at the table and soon they were even asking you questions, eager to get to know you.
     Finally someone brought up the elephant in the room, “so you two have never dated?”
     “Nope.” you answered.
��    “Not that I haven’t tried, this girl has rejected me more times than I can count.” Harry teased, earning a shove against his shoulder as you laughed.
     “Don’t listen to him.” you told everyone, “he’s a liar.”
     “Ouch, that hurts love.” Harry mocked sadness, but a cheeky grin spread over his face, dimples flashing as he looked at you with complete adoration in his eyes.
     The group allowed you to change the topic but it was obvious to everyone at the table, besides you and Harry of course, that no one really believed that you and Harry were ‘just’ friends. The way you and Harry acted together screamed ‘couple’ and everyone knew it was just a matter of time before you two realized it as well.
     When dinner finished Harry made everyone thank you for the lovely food and refused to let you help clean up, hands settling on your shoulders to make you stay seated while he grabbed plates.
     A few of his friends went to the kitchen to help clean up and you stayed at the table, chatting with his friends. One of them got particularly daring and made a comment about their productivity being great after you stopped distracting Harry from the pool but the suggested connotation of what he was saying went completely over your head.
     When everything was done and the table was clean, the group went back to work, Harry sending you a quick wink before you walked back to the casita.
     You busied yourself on your laptop and a few hours flew by. You didn’t notice the music outside coming to an end until your casita door opened and Harry peaked his head in, “great! You’re still awake!” he grinned, inviting himself in. He came to join you on the couch.
     “How was the writing?” you asked.
     “It’s going good, think we’re almost done a song.” he said, “anythin’ good on netflix?”
     You told him about the movies you’d found and just like that, the two of you were curled next to each other, your head on his shoulder as you watched a cheesy movie that made you both laugh together.
     It must have been around one in the morning by the time he finally left, saying “sleep well, if you get scared just come in th’ house, my door will be unlocked.”
     The hug you gave him at the door lasted just a tad longer than usual as you both enjoyed the feeling of being wrapped in each others arms, then he offered a small smile and left. You watched him walk to the main house, not looking back.
     You slept well that night, surrounded by plush white blankets.
     Sunlight seeping through the window woke you up and you smiled, stretching your arms over your head as you rolled out of bed. It was another warm day so you slipped on some shorts and a shirt.
     People were already awake and making music, the sounds greeted you as you opened your door and padded to the main house, offering a small wave and a smile to the guitarists who waved back.
     Harry was in the kitchen. His hair was a mess, sticking up every which way. He was shoving vegetables into a juicer, eyebrows furrowed with focus.
     “You look tired.” you mused, brushing past him to open the fridge.
     “Had no one to snuggle with.” he answered, “couldn’t sleep.”
     “Hmm, you mean your tinder dates didn’t work out for ya last night?” you teased.
     Harry rolled his eyes, groaning loudly, he turned to look at you, “you look rested. I suppose your tinder date worked out quite well, huh, love?”
     “Oh definitely.” you said with enthusiasm, pouring yourself some juice, “made him sneak out at dawn to escape, wouldn’t have wanted my keeper to see the guy or he would have been a gonner.”
     “Your keeper?” Harry looked perplexed.
     You laughed, “You. You’re my keeper Harry.”
     “Hmm.” he crossed his arms over his chest, “I mean, if you’re going to make that sort of judgement about me, at least call me sir or daddy or something more fun than your ‘keeper.’”
      “I am never calling you daddy... or sir.” you said pointedly, taking a sip of your juice.
     Harry quirked an eyebrow, “never say never love.”
     You rolled your eyes, grinning, “piss off.”
     “You love me.” he stated, reaching out an arm that wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling you to his chest.
     He was warm and smelled distinctly like Harry, a mix of expensive cologne and the cherry chapstick he sometimes more.
     Someone called Harry’s name and he let you go, “so what are you doing today?” he asked.
     “Thought I’d go check out the town a little.” you answered.
     He frowned, “wish I could come with but I gotta finish this song-”
     “I know, it’s okay, that’s why you’re here Harry. Don’t worry. Your work comes first.” you assured him, reaching out to give his hand a little squeeze.
     He nodded, smiling slightly, “be careful.”
     “I will.”
     He grabbed his sloshy, unappetizing, orange coloured juicer drink and left the kitchen to join the group waiting for him.
     True to your word, you spent the day in town looking around. There were so many interesting things you were just itching to take a picture of and send to Harry but you held yourself back, not wanting to distract him from his work. So instead you saved the photos and vowed to show them to him later when he finally had time.
     In other circumstances, you may have been lonely, but with your earbuds in, you made the most of it. On one hand, you were alone, but on the other, you were in one of the most beautiful places in the world, all expenses paid in full by your superstar best friend who had persuaded you to come by claiming he couldn’t live without you. Life was good and you would be damned if you allowed a little isolationism to rain on your parade.
     The dark grey tropical storm clouds had began to form as you walked home. By the time you got back to the villa, it was pouring rain and the loud rumbling of thunder cracked across the sky.
     Going straight into the back of the villa, you made an effort to run past the pool and reach the safety of the casita. People were still playing guitar and everyone looked up as you ran past.
     Harry put his guitar down quickly, running to catch up to you. You hadn’t noticed his approach so when his arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you off the ground you squealed.
     “Harry put me down!” you said, knowing instinctively whose body was pressed against your back.
     “You’re all wet love!” he laughed, the sounds melding with the giggles coming from his friends who were watching the two of you in amusement.
     “We’re in the rain!” you screamed as he set you down, “and now you’re all wet too!”
     You turned to look at Harry and he shrugged, “water doesn’t bother me.”
     “Yeah I know, but I’m bothered.” you stated, running to the safety of your casita. He stood in the rain and watched you, “now you have to go change!” you called.
     He shrugged, sporting a massive grin on his face. You sighed, laughing at his carefree antics. Once again you watched him head back to the main house.
     It wasn’t even dinner time when there was a knock at your door. You stood to get it and Harry was standing there, looking a little worse for wear. It was still storming outside and the mere run from the main house to the casita had obviously taken a toll on the windswept rockstar.
     He had a bunch of food on a plate in his hands that he set down on the coffee table after you’d let him in. “done for the day.” he explained, “thought we’d have a movie night or something.”
     You agreed immediately, more than ready to finally get some time with your best friend. After choosing a tv series to start together, you ate and laughed and had a generally great time, which wasn’t surprising, you always enjoyed yourself with Harry.
     It was getting late when you turned the tv off, wanting to talk instead of watch. The way Harry turned his entire body to look at you, giving you his complete and undivided attention, was always something you’d appreciated about him.
     Getting a chance to show him all the cool things you’d seen in town on your phone, Harry vowed to find time the next day to go with you, needing a change of scenery already to help get his ‘creative juices flowing.’
     He was in the middle of a sentence when you yawned, Harry immediately stopped, “so I’m boring you then?” he teased.
     You grinned, stretching your arms over your head as you groaned, “definitely.”
     His fingers were tickling your sides before you could even blink as his large body pinned you down against the couch to stop you from thrashing and accidentally kicking him. You squealed loudly, eyes clenching as you tried to get him off of you but he was unrelenting.
     “Have you had enough?!” he asked.
     “Yes!”
     “Am I still boring you?!”
     “No!”
     “Not very convincing.” he tutted.
     “Harry!” you screamed.
     He finally pulled away, getting off of you to go back to his corner of the couch.
     You were breathing heavily as you wiped the tears from you eyes, “you’re such a dick.”
     “Do you want more tickles?” he asked in shock.
     “No!” you said, kicking your legs out to act as a barrier so he couldn’t get to you again, “no more tickles.”
     He watched you in silence as you caught your breath. All that could be heard was the sound of the storm outside.
     “Can I stay here tonight?” he asked, breaking the silence.
     You looked at him with curiosity before saying, “yeah, of course.”
     “Couldn’t sleep last night.” he said, reminding you of your conversation from the morning.
     When you had been younger and you’d had sleepovers, you had always slept in separate beds but whenever one of you couldn’t sleep, you’d wiggled your way into the others bed and that always seemed to solve the problem. You hoped, for the sake of his efficiency, that staying with you would get him some well deserved shut eye, he needed to be top of his game to make the new album.
     “And it’s raining pretty hard.” you pointed out, not wanting him to go out in the terrible weather yet again.
     Harry turned to look out the window and you admired his side profile for a moment before his green eyes came back to yours, “want to sleep now?” he asked.
     “Sure.” you smiled, standing from the couch.  
     He followed you into the bedroom and watched you grab your sleeping clothes. You went to the bathroom and he waited for you to change. When you were done, you opened the door and began to brush your teeth. He leaned in the doorway and watched you.
     “What?” you asked, mouth full of sudsy toothpaste.
      “We haven’t done this in a while.” he pointed out.
     You shrugged, rinsing out your mouth, “shit happens.”
     “Missed it.”
     “Me too.”
     He offered you a small smile and you passed him the tooth brush automatically. You hadn’t had a sleepover in a ages, but old habits die hard, and it felt natural to offer the unprepared boy your toothbrush.
     You moved out of his way and he brushed his teeth, now it was your turn to watch. He had grown a lot since you were kids, obviously. He was taller, broader and his skin was littered with beautiful black marks that each had their own quirky story. But he was still your Harry.
     He finished up and the two of you walked back into the bedroom. He began to take his shirt off then stopped, “you’re okay if I-”
     “Yeah, just as long as you’re not fully naked.” you waved your hand, getting onto your side of the bed.
     Harry opened his mouth to say something cheeky back but you yawned again and his words caught in his throat, watching the way your shirt pulled up slightly, exposing just the smallest sliver of tummy.
     He looked away, pulling his shirt off and wriggling out of his pants. He got into the bed quickly, hiding the effect you were having on him with the blanket. You turned off the light and Harry turned, lying on his side facing you, “remember when I used to sing to you during thunderstorms?” he asked.
     You turned to face him as well, not being able to help the smile that came to your face, “yeah. You always did it cuz you thought I was scared but I think you just liked singing to me, even then.”
     Harry smiled, just able to make out your soft features in the low light, “always love singing to ya, why do you think I make you come to almost every concert?”
     It was a pretty great perk, front row tickets to every show you could make it to. He’d even taken you on the first leg of his solo tour before you had to go back home for work.
     “I figured you invited me so you could point me out to everyone as your best friend and make all the girls in the audience even softer for you.” you teased, “great way to get into any lady’s pants.”
     Harry scoffed, rolling onto his back so he could run his fingers through your hair, “you and your smart mouth.”
     “You love me.” you said, repeating his own words from the morning.
     Harry said nothing and after a few minutes, you assumed he had fallen asleep. Harry had a knack for falling asleep, which is why it was so aggravating to him when he had nights where rest was difficult.
     You fell into a peaceful sleep not long after.
     The morning sunshine woke you up for a second day in a row and you stretched your arms over your head only to hit something solid.
     Harry groaned, moving your arm out of his face, “ow.” he said, voice low.
     You realized you were curled up against his chest and when you raised your hands to stretch, you had completely smacked him in the face.
     His arms tightened around you, keeping you close, Harry still not ready to wake up yet.
     You allowed him to keep you secure, finger tracing over one of his birds under his collar bone, enjoying the warmth radiating off his body.
     It felt natural to be this close. But there was a feeling underneath the comfort, something that you’d been trying to ignore for years. You two were best friends, but damn, you’d have to be blind to say you didn’t find Harry attractive and even then, you were sure his voice alone could woo a girl into taking her panties off. But you had always pushed it aside, convinced nothing would ever happen.
     You two were so comfortable with each other that you put on face masks and watched rom coms for god's sake! Harry only saw you as a friend, and you were sure of that. Or at least, part of you was.
     But things had been changing. You remembered the way he’d reacted with the first tabloid that wrote that you and him were an item, with pictures of you leaving his place in the morning acting as ‘proof.’
     He had been very nonchalant about it. You were the one who began to pull away. You knew that, but it had been hard for you to stay at that level with him without getting deeper into the feelings that you knew had always been there.
     And here you were, wrapped in his arms again for the first time in years. And it brought everything flooding back.
     Everything you’d been so desperate to keep locked and hidden.
     Harry could feel you stiffen in his arms, “you okay love?” he asked, looking down at you with sleepy eyes.
     You nodded, “yeah, I just, uh, this isn’t comfy.” you lied.
     “Here.” he said, easily pushing you around so your back was to his chest, his arms pulling you back so he could spoon you, “better?”
     You sighed. Both positions had been perfect.
     “Yeah.” you answered.
     You could feel his breath delicately teasing your shoulders and the back of your neck, setting your entire body on fire with each exhale. One breath made you shiver and Harry’s grip on your hips tightened, his eyes flashing over, “don’t move.” he stated, suddenly sounding very commanding as opposed to the sleepy, cuddly guy he had been moments earlier.
     “What do you-” you began to ask, but then you felt it. The unmistakable press of something long, and hard, against your ass.
     Your breath caught in your throat and once more, you tensed under his hands.
     “Fuck.” Harry cursed, pulling away from you and sliding his legs out of the bed. He sat there for a moment, grabbing his pants that he then haphazardly pulled on, “m’ sorry.” he mumbled before racing from the room, not even bothering to grab his shirt on the way out.
     You laid there in a stunned silence for a while. Lots of guys got morning wood. It had its own name didn’t it? ‘Morning wood.’ You thought about it for a few minutes, feeling conflicted about the whole situation.
     The ‘vacation’ was planned for at least two weeks, with the option of a one week extension if necessary, and you were on day three. Even if you wanted to talk to Harry about the whole thing, it was so early into the trip and if you were just making shit up, or if he didn’t feel the same way… then it would be an awkward remainder of the trip.
     You cussed, burying your face in the pillow that still smelt like him.
---
     You didn’t see Harry again until lunch time, hoping to sneak into the main house and grab some food while the musicians were all working, but as you entered the kitchen you almost bumped into Harry, who had been reaching for something from a shelf and turned abruptly.
     “Hey.” he said, looking down at you.
     “Hey.” you retorted, hating yourself immensely.
     “Hungry?” he asked, holding up the protein powder he’d gotten off the shelf.
     “Think I’m just going to grab some fruit then I’m heading down to the beach.” you answered, stepping away from him to grab something from the fruit bowl.
     “Right, uh… well, be careful.” he said, “and uh, have fun yeah?”
     You nodded, grabbing your food and leaving, feeling the heat in your skin. You cursed yourself the entire walk to the casita and then the entire walk down to the beach, you had just made it awkward even though you told yourself you wouldn’t.
     The day at the beach was nice. You walked into town again, when you got bored you got dinner from a small hole in the wall restaurant enjoying some small chat with the nice women who worked there.
     Taking your time and enjoying yourself, you finally began to walk home, having successfully avoided Harry for practically the full day. You even managed to sneak past the group who was still working and slip into the Casita without seeing him.
     It was dark when you finally got a text from him, ‘where are you?’
     ‘In the casita.’
     Within moments there was a knock at the door and you sighed, standing and opening it to see a very worried looking Harry, “where have you been all day?” he asked, shoulders tense.
     “I told you I went to the beach, and then I went to town and got dinner-”
     “Shoulda messaged, I was worried.” he said.
     “Well you could have messaged me.” you pointed out.
     Harry sighed, running a hand through his mess of dark curls, “can I uh, can I come in?”
     You moved the door wider for him and he slipped past you, walking straight to the ping pong table he picked up a paddle, “wanna play a game?” he asked.
     “Sure.” you said, wondering what he had up his sleeve.
     You picked up a paddle and Harry grabbed the ball, tossing it in his hands a few times, “so here’s the deal.” he stated, “every time you miss the ball, I get to ask you a question and you have to answer honestly, or... you strip.”
     You scoffed at him before you realized he was being serious, “Harry-”
     Before you could finish, he had smacked the ball towards you and you missed it, “your choice love.”
     You sighed, really not wanting to start the game off with a truth. You had no idea what sort of uncomfortable question he would as you, noticing the very odd look in his eye that you had never seen before.
     You slipped off a sock, holding it up for him, “happy?”
     “Just hit the ball, pet.” he instructed, eyes looking determined and ready.
     You volleyed and he countered, you managed to hit it back only for him to wack it at you again, this time you missed. You took off another sock.
     This continued until you had removed both socks, your necklace, and your hair tie. Finally, you had to take something else off and it would actually begin to matter.
     Harry eyed you as you stared at the ball that he had just smashed past you. Reaching for the hem of your shirt you pulled it off, thankful that you were wearing a cute bra underneath.
     “Why are you so good at this?” you asked, already knowing the answer.
     It was no secret that Harry adored ping pong.
     You had no clue why you’d agreed to this game.
     Harry didn’t say anything, eyes fixed on you as you smashed the ball towards him, for the first time, he missed it, eyes having been more pleasantly engaged with the beautiful details of your bra.
     “Fuck.” he cursed.
     Harry began to unbutton his shirt and you watched as he took it off, throwing it onto the couch. With his entire chest exposed, he looked angelic, and you would have bet that your already shit ping pong abilities, had just gotten ten times worse.
     He picked up the ball, sending it your way and you tried to counter it but failed.
     Again, he didn’t say anything. No teasing quip about having to make a choice between your pants or a truth, no cheeky grin, just an unreadable gaze that stayed fixed on you as you pushed down your pants.
     He’d seen you in a bikini before, but there was something more intimate about the bra and panties adorning your skin. You felt very exposed for the first time, an uncomfortable feeling washing over you.
     “Harry-”
     “Hit the ball.”
     You sighed, making a feeble attempt, the ball hit the net, not even going to Harry’s side.
     “Try again.” he encouraged, finally giving you a glimmer of the best friend you knew and loved.
     You grabbed the ball and served again, he hit it back but this time he didn’t fire it quite so hard and you wondered if he was giving you a chance on purpose. The back and forth continued for a little while and it solidified the idea that he was suddenly going easy on you, his strokes lacking the usual power that would have had all your clothes gone by this point.
     He finally seemed to get tired of it and smashed the ball at you again, you missed it and Harry set down his paddle, crossing his beautifully tattooed arms over his chest.
     “What are you doing?” you asked.
     “Gonna ask you a truth now, unless you fancy taking off that cute little bra fo’ me.” although his words may have been teasing, his stone cold gaze was not.
     You gave in, also putting down your paddle, “What do you want to know?”
     “Do you ever want to be more than friends?” he asked, “like, would ya ever consider datin’ me?”
     You were taken aback by his question. Not that you hadn’t been worried it would be asked. You weren’t sure what you had been worried about but the anxious feeling of something creeping up your spine was proof that your anxiety had not been unmerited.
     “I uh…” you bit at your lip, “Harry I don’t want to ruin our friendship-”
     “Who says you’ll be ruinin’ it?”
     You scoffed, feeling tears in your eyes, not sure how they got there, “you’re Harry fucking Styles, come on, you have your pick of super models and singers and actresses-”
     “So?”
     “So I can’t afford to think that way Harry!” you almost screamed, hands balling at your sides, “I don’t get you! You bring me around to all this shit and I hear about your flings and I’m there for you when stuff doesn't work out with these girls and I keep myself at a distance and you invite me here where I feel like a complete outsider because everyone is doing something to help you write your new album and I’m not-”
     “Who says you’re not helping?” he asked, coming around the ping pong table to approach you, hands outstretched and searching for your own in an effort to calm you down,
     You allowed him to grab your hands, his thumbs stroking your palms that he faced upwards, something that always had a soothing effect on you.
     “Harry of course I’m not helping-”
     “Wrote a song about you today.” he interrupted you.
     You rolled your eyes, “great, what's it called? Friend zone? The story of a girl who was never good enough? My dumb best friend-”
     “Stop that.” Harry snapped sternly, eyes piercing and full of intensity, “who ever said you’re not good enough?”
     “The magazines-” you began, thinking about those articles who had always skimmed over you, the articles who made it seem like your only importance in life is how you related to the famous Harry Styles. The magazines who would gush about any other woman Harry was ever seen with, any girl but you, besides the initial magazine cover where they’d described you as ‘an unknown girl’ not ‘unnamed raven-haired beauty’ or ‘unknown gorgeous bombshell’ as they’d described his other flings in the past.
     “What about the magazines love?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed with concern, hands continuing to try to relax you.
     “They always-” you stammered, “they just… they said I was a nobody, they never even-”
     “I made it clear from the start that the magazines weren’t supposed to write about ya pet.” Harry said, “I made that clear so you wouldn’t have to worry bout this shit but here you are worrying again.”
     You looked up at him.
     Once again, he’d done something and put a lot of thought into it to protect you, and once again you were reacting to it all wrong. Just like with him giving you the casita to stay in.
     You sighed, “fuck! I’m so confused!”
     “Never wanted you to have pressure, never wanted it to come between our friendship-” Harry began again.
     “Friendship.” you repeated his words back to him as you took your hands away from his, “friendship, Harry.”
     “Yes it’s a bloody fucking friendship!” Harry finally snapped, throwing his hands in the air, “because I’ve never had the fucking guts to tell ya how I feel about ya! Never had the guts to do this-” he grabbed your face, pressing his lips to yours.
     You were shocked for a moment before you melted into the kiss, hands bunching against the waistband of his pants as he pulled you closer. His tongue slid against your bottom lip and you opened your mouth for him, longing for him to deepen the kiss.
     But he didn’t, instead he pulled away, leaning his forehead against yours. His thumbs rubbed at your cheeks, “you gonna answer my question or what love?”
     “What was the question?” you asked, still in a daze.
     “Do you wanna be more than friends?”
     “God yes.” you breathed. The words had no sooner left your mouth than his lips were on yours again, finally deepening the kiss as one of his hands pulled away from your face, going to wrap around your body and press against the small of your back, keeping you as close to him as possible.
     It was a blessing that you both had already taken off some of your clothes, skin pressing against skin and sending warmth radiating through your body.
     Harry bent down, hands both moving to your ass as he lifted you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you to the bedroom, closing the door behind you with his foot.
     He placed you gently onto the bed, getting in top of you as you tried to push down his pants. Harry grinned against your lips and you giggled, causing you both to laugh.
     “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” you said.
     “Took us long enough wouldn’t you agree?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your lips.
     Instead of answering, you focused on getting his pants down, finally succeeding you realized he had not been wearing underwear and your laugh ran through the room, “of fucking course you’re not wearing anything under these!” you teased, pulling at his pants and letting them smack down against his skin again, “what were you going to do if I got another ball past you?”
     This guy had challenged you to strip ping pong while wearing only a shirt and pants. You wanted to roll your eyes at it and hate the cockiness that radiated off of him as he answered “knew I’d win, love” but the confidence in his voice made your stomach feel fluttery.
     “Cuz I’m bad or cuz you’re a ping pong master?” you asked, moaning slightly as his lips moved down to your neck, finding your sweet spot faster than you could even think.
     “Bit a’ both.” he answered.
     You laughed, pushing at his chest, “take it back!”
     “Make me.” he said, biting at your collarbone.
     You groaned, fingers tangling in his beautiful curls and pulling him back up so his lips were on yours again.
     He ground down against you and a deep moan vibrated from his chest from the feeling of his bare cock against the thin fabric of your already damp panties.
     “Condom-” you began but he was already ahead of you, reaching into the back pocket of the jeans that were haphazardly stuck just above his knees.
     “Take your panties off.” he instructed, rolling of of you and onto his back so he could wiggle out of the confines of his pants.
     You quickly got rid of the fabric that had been keeping him from being inside of you and Harry rolled on the condom, “bra too, love.” he reminded you.
     Rolling your eyes you unhooked your bra tossing it across the room as he once more settled between your legs, “did you just roll your eyes at me?” he grinned.
     “Wouldn’t be the first time Styles.” you answered.
     His hand came to grab at your jaw and his gaze darkened, your laughter stopped, eyes searching his as he looked down at you in a predatory manner, “gonna apologize or what, pet?”
     You would have laughed in any other situation but you’d never seen Harry serious like this. The other morning when he’d suggested you call him ‘daddy’ or ‘sir’ it had been light hearted, but looking into his eyes now, you realized that it had come from a place inside him that was decidedly not light of fluffy in the slightest.
     “I’m uh… I’m sorry?” you said, trying to give him what he was asking for, but not quite sure how to do it, still a little shocked that you were seeing a new side of him that he’d only ever hinted at existing.
     Harry stared at you for a moment then chuckled, letting go of your chin as he rested his forehead against your shoulder, “fuck, sorry, I’m uh, I’m just used to uh…”
     “Being the dom.” you finished for him.
     “Yeah. You into that sort of thing?” his hand reached between your bodies, grabbing his dick so he could brush it against you, teasing you as you waited with anticipation.
     “I could be but I mean, it’s something we’d have to talk about.” you said, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, enjoying the familiar scent of your best friend that you were so accustomed too.
     “A chat for another time then?”
     “Hmm.” you hummed, “but I meant it earlier, no daddy or sir.”
     “Like I said earlier,” he slid inside of you and you both groaned loudly, “never say never love.”
     His lips attacked yours again as he kept still inside of you, allowing you to adjust to his size. When your fingernails dug into his shoulders he took that as a sign to move, pulling almost all the way out slowly, before pushing back in with a harsh snap of his hips.
     You moaned into his mouth and Harry ate it up, grinning, “sound so pretty fo’ me.”
      A smile spread across your face again as you opened your eyes, looking up at the guy you’d loved for years. The guy who’d been with you through thick and thin. The guy who held your hand during scary films or cried with you when a dog died in a movie. The guy who had picked you up more times than you could count, dusting you off and giving you a little pat on the back with a word of encouragement.
     Your chest felt tight, heart swelling with emotion.
     “You okay?” Harry asked with concern, stopping his motions as he stared down at you.
     “Yeah just… uh… just ignore me.” you laughed, pulling his lips back to yours, “I’m just really happy.”
     Harry grinned and it was the biggest smile you’d ever seen, his already gorgeous features somehow reached an angelic level, which was saying something. “Me too.” he said, pressing soft kisses all over your face as his motions picked up again.
     You tried to focus on how good he was making you feel but there was just something about the fluttering in your chest that was making the whole thing almost comical and Harry could tell, laughing slightly again, “you know, this whole giggling thing isn’t doin’ much for my ego pet.” he warned you.
     “Ignore me.” you told him.
      “Could never do that.” he assured you, “think the problem is that this is too soft for you.”
     You almost laughed again, “soft is good though.”
     “Soft is great.” he agreed, “but rough is somethin’ else entirely.” he nipped at your jaw, waiting for your reaction.
     Finally you gave in, thinking ‘what the hell’ you were past the point of no return regardless.
     “I guess if it’s your speciality-” you began but you were never able to finish your thought because he had pulled out of you and flipped you onto your stomach, grabbing your hips and maneuvering your ass up as he slammed into you from behind.
     This was not something you could laugh about.
     In the new angle, Harry was hitting a spot inside of you that made your toes curl, mind unable to form words. The most you could do was grab onto the bed sheets and hope you weren’t loud enough for people from the main house to hear you.
     Harry’s grip on your waist was unrelenting and the sound of skin slapping skin and moans filled the room.
     Now that you didn’t have to look at your best friend, there wasn’t much to giggle about, especially with him pounding into you like his life depended on it.
     You’d always heard hype about Harry in bed but being in the heat of it was, first, something you’d never in a million years expected to be, and second, a complete mind fuck because you’d heard he was amazing, hell, you’d heard he was a god, but even then, the word seemed to be lacking.
     The small groans leaving his lips were music to your ears, having always adored his voice, this was a whole new ball field and you had to admit, you loved it.
     His hand wrapped around the front of your bodies, reaching between your legs to rub against your clit. You moaned louder, feeling an orgasm begin to build tight in your stomach.
     Another low groan left Harry’s lips as you clenched around him, his eyes closed for a moment, allowing his head to loll back and just enjoy the moment. But he couldn’t keep his gaze off of you for too long, once more focusing on your gorgeous back and the way your bum looked with each thrust.
     His hand ached to give you a little smack.
     Just a little one.
     He’d tapped your ass once or twice before but it had always resulted in giggles and chasing, it had always been friendly, not meaning to bring pain as well as pleasure.
     His grip tightened on your waist as he contemplated it for a moment, finally deciding it was not the time. You could discuss choking and spanking and all the ‘good stuff’ another day, but for now, he wanted to see you.
     Harry wanted to enjoy the face he’d grown so used to seeing. The face that grinned at him whenever he got nervous on stage or offered a small smile when he was getting worried about being late or having big meetings. The face that he’d woken up to that morning and felt a devastatingly deep urge to kiss.
     He pulled out of you and you began to protest when he flipped you over again, you landed on your back and Harry immediately slipped into you again, grabbing one of your legs to put over his shoulder.
     Just like the first position change, the new angle had him going even deeper and you wondered for a moment what another new position would bring, but before you could think too hard about it, the feeling of him in your lower abdomen made everything else disappear.
     He pressed a kiss to your knee where it was hooked over his shoulder, one hand on your thigh to keep you there.
     With your eyes closed, enjoying the sensations, Harry thought you looked ethereal.
     He’d had many dream about this moment. Many hours had been dedicated to wondering what this would be like if it ever happened but Harry’s imagination seemed to be quite lacking, the image he’d had in his mind paled in comparison to reality.
     He swallowed thickly, overcome by a sudden surge of emotion as he watched you get closer and closer to the edge because of him.
     “Harry-” you said, reaching out your hands, eyes still closed as you searched for him.
     He took your leg off of his shoulder and repositioned himself in missionary, letting out a groan as your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling his lips to yours.
     You squeezed around him again and Harry bit on your lip, eyebrows furrowing as the feeling engulfed him, his movements becoming sporadic as he chased his high.
     The new pattern of thrusts made you cum around him and you gasped, whimpers leaving your mouth. Your pulled at his hair lightly and that small amount of pain mixed deliciously with the way you were fluttering around him, dragging him over the edge with you.
     Lips touching as you both panted, bodies still shaking from your orgasms.
     He kissed you softly, a hand coming up to cup your face.
     You both opened your eyes around the same time, the giddy, giggly feeling returning as you enjoyed finally being this close.
    “Be right back.” he said, kissing your nose before he got off of you and went to the bathroom to discard the condom.
     You got under the covers, opening them for Harry as he entered the room. When you were comfortably settled under the thin, white duvet, he pulled you to his chest.
     Your naked bodies pressed against each other but you fit like puzzle pieces, having always meant to be connected. You cursed yourself for not trying this before, especially since it felt so natural now that you had.
     Your fingers traced the tattoos on his arms, listening to the fast thumping of his heart in his chest.
     “So you wrote a song about me and it wasn’t called friend zone right?” you asked, breaking the comfortable silence.
     Harry chuckled, staring at the ceiling as he ran his fingers through your hair, “thought you’d forgotten about that.”
     “Not a chance. So tell me what it’s about?”
     “Been thinkin’ about it for a while. It’s about being in love with your best friend-”
     “You love me Styles?” you asked, looking up at him.
     Harry looked down, “thought it was obvious.”
     You buried your head in his chest to hide your flushed skin as his arms wrapped protectively around you, “i’ve made a mess of things haven’t I?’ he asked.
     Looking up at him again, you pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, “no. I love you too Harry. I always have.”
     “Always?”
     You groaned, “yes always!”
     His dimples showed as he grinned, “we’re both fucking idiots aren't we?”
     “Understatement of the century.” you both just smiled, adoring each other, “hey.... putting me in the Casita didn’t have anything to do with you planning on fucking me sometime this trip did it Harold?”
     “Erm…” his skin turned slightly pink and you smacked his chest lightly, “i mean i thought about it!” Harry admitted, “didn’t think it would actually happen but then the whole thing happened this mornin’ and i’ve been wound up for hours love. When you wore that bikini yesterday? Part of me thought you’d done it on purpose, jus for me.”
     “I had no idea it affected you so much… or I would have worn it sooner.”
     “You’re a fucking minx you know that?” he laughed, “maybe this is why I never told you how I felt before, because you’re such a tease.”
     “You love it.” you insisted.
     Harry sighed, “I love you. Even if you are the biggest fucking tease I’ve ever met.” he paused for a moment, “so on a scale of one to ten with one being ‘it’s not that bad’ and ten being ‘I fucking hate it’ how do you really feel about the word Daddy?”
-------
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struwwelzeter · 4 years
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Why did Richard unfollow everyone? That's so random.
Dunno, it’s been like that for months now. Possibly because people read too much into who he followed and who he didn’t and created drama (case in point: us)
Tbh, if I was that famous I’d do the same thing, or rather, I would follow my band(s) and their attached accounts as an alibi because I would 100% accidentally follow people too. Or get a seperate stalking account, that works too.
Or let someone else run my account like Till, that sounds very much like an option where I could stay sane.
I feel sorry for them. Social media is a cesspool with it’s entirely new rules of communication, it’s even worse than learning a new language. I was born 1990 and I think it’s fucking hard to navigate that and not make mistakes and I don’t have 183.000 people breathing down my neck. Think your parents on facebook but suddenly being judged by an entire town. Plus, some fans on there are actually crazy. I mean, tumblr is anonymous and fandom driven, and I feel like pretty safe for everything that could be considered slightly creepy to do to a live person. You don’t have to deal with it if you don’t seek it out, and that’s a good thing. Instagram isn’t like that and they get tagged in all sorts of weird stuff from fanfiction to idk, marriage proposals I guess, but in between that you have people interacting professionally like Sky van Hoff, or Jens, or Rocket and Wink and like ... it’s pretty merciless I imagine. Even worse if literally every unspoken rule on there is something you have to painstakingly learn.
I already feel bad for pointing it out. Like, way to go, seriously if you see someone trip on the street you don’t go haha and show it to other people either. WTF is wrong with me. Sorry Richie 😞
That being said, it was also super cute and relatable, and I’m kinda glad that someone I admire alot is exactly as stupid as I would be. He’s adorable, and that’s that.
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onebangtanstan · 3 years
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Power Style - Chapter Nineteen : The birthday
I've been in front of my closet for 30 minutes deciding what to wear. I really have to get ready for Yoongi's birthday. I can't be late, Hobi would kill me.
I can't believe it's already Friday. I've been so busy at work these last 2 days that I didn't even realize how quick time went by.
Back to my closet. Thankfully I already did my hair and makeup, I literally just need to put some clothes on. I'm staring at the neatly organized shelves, hoping for an outfit to magically appear in front of me, when I notice the orange fabric. Perfect! I haven't worn that in so long. I match the skirt with a black body suit and black heels, put my coat on, and 5 minutes later, I'm in a cab heading to Tae's place.
We made plans to meet at his with Kook, so we would arrive together.
My phone rings while I'm still in the cab.
« Hey Tae, what's up? » I answer
« Hey Gina, Hobi just texted, we have to get there sooner, how long til you get here? »
« Um I don't know, 3 minutes I guess? »
« Ok we'll meet you downstairs. »
« No problem. »
As soon as I get out of the cab, I'm grabbed by Kook and Tae and almost shoved into their car.
The three of us are now sitting in the back of a van, heading towards Hobi and Jin's appartment.
« Sorry about that, we really have to hurry » Kook says.
« That's ok, I'm guessing Hobi's plans didn't take as long as he expected? »
« Exactly. So he's making us all rush there so we're there before they get home.» Tae says.
« Anyway, how are you G? » Kook asks.
« Good, working a lot for you guys, but it's super interesting! »
« I can't wait to see what you've prepared! » he answers.
« I hope it will be good enough » I tell them
« Oh don't start, of course it will. » Tae almost scolds me, making me laugh.
After a few seconds of silence, Kook speaks up.
« So, about tonight, like we said, stick with us and we'll keep you as far away from Jin as possible. If at any point you want to leave, this car will be on standby, okay? »
« Okay, thanks guys. »
« Don't worry. »
« He better not pull any shit tonight. » Tae mumbles.
« Hey, Tae, don't. »
« I swear Kook, you know what I think about his behaviour. »
« I know, I know. » Kook put a soothing hand on Tae's lap. « Let's just think of Yoongi and make him spend a great birthday. »We all agree.
« He's probably expecting us to be there to be honest. » Tae answers.
« True, but still. » says Kook.
The three of us get out of the car and into an unfamiliar building. I follow the boys into the lift, clearly not knowing where I'm going, and we arrive at the last floor. A single door is in front of us, slightly open. We can hear Namjoon, Jin and Jimin's voices from outside. We walk in and find them sitting around in the couches. The boys all greet each other, but suddenly go back to their conversation when they see me walking behind Tae and Kook. Jin even scoffs at my sight. Is he for real? Chill, Gina, just ignore him.
I am in awe of the appartment. I'm standing in the middle of one huge room. The kitchen is on one side, seperated by an island, 3 velvet couches are placed around the biggest fireplace I've ever seen. A beautifully dressed table occupies the other side of the room. It's clear that Hobi decorated the place, his energy is overflowing in all the colourful details.
« Can I take your coat? » Kook's voice makes me snap out of my gaze.
« Yes thank you! »
I let my coat slide off my shoulders, revealing my outfit.
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I feel stares on me as I do so.
« Well fuck. » says Jimin. « She sure can dress. »
« Um..thanks Jimin. » His comment flustered me, first of all because it's coming from him, secondly because I wasn't expecting that reaction.
« You really look stunning, G. » Kook agrees before leaving me in the middle of the room, with nowhere to go. Tae is gone somewhere else, so I'm just standing there by myself, feeling so tiny in front of these 3 men I don't have any desire to talk to. As I'm still looking around, I notice Namjoon's glare on me. What's his problem? Our eyes meet for a split second before he takes a sip of his beer and turns back to his conversation.
« Here you go, darling. » I sigh in relief at the sound of Tae behind me. I turn to see him handing me a glass of champagne.
« Oh, thank you. »
I grab the glass and just hold it. I really don't want to drink tonight, I know that if I do, I'll be piss drunk given how tired I am.
We finally get news from Hobi, who is on his way up with Yoongi. We all sush and wait for the door to open.
3...2...1
« SURPRISE!! » We all exclaim.
Hobi is looking at Yoongi, waiting for his reaction. He smiles at all of us, but especially at Hobi who looks disappointed.
« Is that all? »
« Babe, you organize this every year, and you say the same thing every year. I knew it was happening, but thank you so much, I love it as always. » Kook, Tae and I giggle since we've anticipated that reaction from him. Yoongi brings Hobi in for a cute kiss, making all our hearts melt.
« But hey, there's another person this year! Look Gina's here! » Hobi says, turning his head to look at me. « Who looks fucking amaZIIIING, oh my god, girl! »
« Thanks for being here guys, and Gina too. » Yoongi tells us calmly, being his normal self. « Right, who's getting me a drink? » I giggle, but the others look at him, waiting for the joke. « What I can't take advantage of today? It's my day, so someone go get me a drink. »
Namjoon stands up « Fine. Whiskey? »
« On the rocks. » Yoongi confirms.
« Yeah, yeah, we know. » Namjoon answers ironically.
We're now all sitting in the living room, talking and laughing. I'm staying safely between Kook and Tae, while Jin and Jimin are on the opposite couch, Yoongi is talling to Namjoon on the last couch, and Hobi is going around the room being the perfect guest pleaser. He keeps on insisting to bring me another glass of champagne, but I stand my ground. I drank one glass, and now Îm sticking to water. Which I need to evacuate by the way.
« I'm just going to head to the bathroom real quick. » I tell the boys.
I follow Kook's directions into the only hallway leading out of the living room. After my business is done, I check myself out in the bathroom mirror. It's true, I do look good.
As I walk out the door, I bump into a hard chest. I instantely know it's Namjoon. I recognize his scent. A mix of Tom Ford perfume and just a tad of cigarette.
I turn around, and just as I guessed, I'm faced with his torso. I look up to him, only to see his eyes locked into mine.
« You should watch where you going. » He says, in a low voice.
I gulp. That voice is sending shivers down my spine. Just as I suspected, the slightest amount of alcohol is affecting me already. I pull it together.
« And you shouldn't be waiting behind doors. » I answer back, raising an eyebrow at him.
I can feel my legs shake as his gaze is still penetrating my eyes. Ok, yeah, he's hot. Especially like this, his white hair slicked back, his loose shirt letting his muscular chest appear.
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I won't break the gaze. He won't win this, even though it's so hard to stay this way, my back against the door and his big figure towering me.
He finally breaks the silence, but not the stare.
« May I use the bathroom? »
« Oh, uh, yeah sure » I move to the side to let him through, but my weak legs can't seem to carry me anymore. I feel my balance leave my body but his hand catches my arm just as I'm about to ungracefully fall onto the ground. His skin against mine feels like an electric shot rushing through my body, all the way to.. well, you guess where.
He sets me back up on my two feet and lets go once he sees I'm stable.
« As I said, watch where you're going. » He says before letting himself in the bathroom.
It takes me a few seconds to gather myself. I shake my head and make my way back to the living room where Hobi stops me.
« Babe, you good? You look like you've seen a ghost. »
« No I'm good. » I tell him, raising an eyebrow at him. I also notice Kook and Tae staring at me, probably wondering the same thing as Hobi.
« Guys, I'm fine! Just tired » I smile at them.
« Okay, I guess. » Hobi is not convinced. « Anyway, sit down, we're doing the present. » I follow his instructions while he goes to stand in front of the fireplace, right in the middle of the couches. « Hey everyone! I just need to say something real quick. Wait where's Joon. »
« Bathroom. » I instinctively say, making them all turn their heads to me. « I saw him while I was coming back. » I try to save myself. Of course, Hobi, Tae and Kook are looking at each other, trying to figure out how that plays in the fact that I looked shaken.
« Joon, hurry please, Hobi wants to speak! » Yoongi says. It's clear that he's tipsy right now, he's louder that usual.
« I'm here, go ahead Hoba. » Namjoon appears from the corridor, still fixing his outfit from his bathroom run. He straight up stares at me while going back to his seat. I feel the two boys around me intrigued about what they just saw.
« Ok, cool. » Hobi starts. « I would like to raise my glass to Yoongi. Babe, I wish you a very hapy birthday, here's to many more.» Everyone raises their glass with Hobi. « I know you don't like presents buuuut we all chipped in to get you something you've wanted for a while. Before you say anything, please follow me outside. » We all go, already knowing what it is, but wanting to see Yoongi's reaction.
« Ta-daaah! » Hobi says, revealing a brand new barbecue.
« Wooooow! » Yoongi exclaims. He really loves it. « Thanks everyone! You really didn't have to. »
« Of course we did. » says Hobi.
« I can't wait to use this bad boy. I'll make you all dinner sometime. »
Hobi is happy, at least he wasn't expecting the present.
We all stay outside for a bit, the fresh air helping the drunk ones sober up. Jin and Yoongi are in awe of the barbecue, while the others are having a chat around them. I slip myself away to go lean on the edge and admire the view. I could never get sick of it.
I hear them go back inside one by one, but feel someone coming towards me.
« Hey, Gina. »
« Hey Yoongi. Happy birthday. »
« Thank you. Hobi said you chipped in for my present? » I nod. « You didn't have to. »
« I wanted to. »
« Well thank you. And thank you for helping Hobi out when he needed it. »
« Of course! It makes me so happy to see you guys now. But don't keep him away from me for too long! » I joke, making him smirk.
« I promise. I just don't believe it's real yet, so I don't want to let go of him. »
« It is Yoongi, he's yours. »
He sighs and smiles while looking at the view for a few seconds. We stand there side by side admiring the lights coming from all over Seoul.
« Hey by the way, » he says « I know we haven't talked much since we had dinner together, but you do know you can count on me right? I've heard what happened with Jin, and just wanted to let you know that I'm here. I'm not the talkative type in case you haven't noticed. » We both giggle. « But that doesn't mean I'm not there for you. »
« Thanks Yoongi, I really appreciate that. » and  I do. His words send a calming wave through my body. « Same goes for you. »
« Thanks. »
We don't need to talk. Just being there with each other is comforting to us.
« I'm going to head back inside before Hobi goes around asking where I am. »
« It might be too late for that. » I say as I hear his voice from inside. « Where's Yoongi? »
« That's my cue! »
I smile as I watch him go back inside, and see Hobi rush to him as he does.
« There you are! I've been looking all over fo-» I hear him say before Yoongi pulls him in for a passionate kiss.
The way they look at each other after that kiss makes my stomach tighten. I want that too.
Fuck, now I'm emotional. I reach my hand into my bag to grab a cigarette. Yeah, I started smoking again. I light it up and stare at the moon while smoking. I start humming without noticing.
Moonchild, don't cry. When moon rise, it's your time.
« That's beautiful. »
I jump at the sound of Namjoon's voice. « Fuck, you scared me. » I say turning to him. « And you made me drop my cigarette. » I add, realizing that it's no longer in my hand but probably lying on the sidewalk all the way down.
« You need to chill. »
« Please don't start. » I show my back to him and start looking for another cigarette.
« Here. » he hands one to me and lights it up once I have it in my mouth.
« Thanks. » I proceed to walk to the other side of the balcony.
After a few minutes of silence, I hear him getting ready to talk.
« What were you singing? » He half shouts, given the distance I put between us.
« A song. » I let him know, looking at him with a smirk on my face. I'm being a smart-ass I know. But it worked. His jaw is clenched, indicating that I pissed him off. It makes him look hotter too. Not that I care though.
« I figured. What is it? » He asks harshly. I guess his love for music is stronger than his hate for me.
I take my time to answer, appreciating the last drags of my cigarette.
« None of your business. » I point out as put my cigarette out, staring him down before turning my heels and going back inside. I saw the annoyance in his eyes, and still feel it on me as I'm walking away. He didn't get what he wanted this time.
I spot Kook on the other side of the room.
« Hey, I'm going to head home, where did you put my coat again? »
« Oh I'll get it for you! »
« Leaving so soon? » I turn around and see Jin walking towards me.
« Go away, Jin. »
« I asked you a question. »
« Jin. Get the fuck away from her. » Tae shouts from the other side of the room, making Jimin and Hobi look at us.
« Relax, we're just talking. » Jin answers. He's clearly drunk.
« I have nothing to say to you. » I let him know, in case he hadn't understood yet.
« Ok, what the fuck happened here? » Jimin asks.
« What happened is that Gina is an ungrateful bitch. » I notice Jungkook grabbing onto Tae who is ready to jump on Jin.
« Excuse me? Wow, ok. You should look in a mirror Jin. » I spit at him before turning my heels.
« Oh, I see. » says Jimin. « Jin was a dick once again. »
« Exactly. » I answer, putting my coat on.
« Hey don't leave, we were talking. What was it about the mirror? I already know how handsome I am. » That would of made me laugh a week ago, but now it just grosses me out.
« Hey, Jin, let it go. » We turn to Namjoon who is standing at the balcony door. Jin walks away from me his hands in the air as if he was getting arrested.
« Right, I'm leaving guys, have a good evening. Thanks for inviting me Hobi. » I take him into my arms.
« You know I'm calling you tomorrow right? I need to know what happened here. As soon as I'm done taking care of my drunk baby. »
« No problem. Say bye to Yoongi for me. »
Kook and Tae walk me back to the door and bring me in their arms as goodbye.
« Call us if you need anything. » Kook says.
« I know. »
« Anything. » says Tae. Ok, angry Tae is scary.
« I will, I promise. Bye guys. »
« Bye, G. »
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aura-loveshine · 4 years
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Fringe-dweller’s true tales.
I looked up at the half moon, and thought “this will be the 5th full moon since you died”... 
Three nights before you were so suddenly taken from the physical earth, you camped overlooking the beautiful large body of water. you explored the multifaceted countryside, you were always like a kid when it came to exploring. you would have honoured and felt connected with nature. you would have sat with a j and admired the full moon on Friday the 13th. it would have been so beautiful to see the full moon over the water, the reflection, the light bouncing off the rippling water and quartz crystal sparkly rockbed... 
I hope those days spent at that campsite were healing, I hope you felt at peace, I hope you spent those days happy, content. I imagine you playing guitar and adventuring with our magic merlin dog, enjoying the wildlife, the peacefulness. I imagine you listening to the abc radio you loved and talking to the other campers, sharing your quirky unique self, making people laugh, or think. I imagine you satisfied to have achieved the long time goal to drive to the tip of Australia, from Cook Town to Cape York in your FWD. I imagine you had chocolate or something sweet even though you were running out of everything else. 
I wonder if you dreamt those nights... I wonder if you had a feeling something was coming. I wonder about the last conversations you had with tribe. i wonder about where you thought the wind might take you next. I wonder if you actually were on your way to visit me... ill never know whether I/you/we could have done anything to change what happened... I can't believe after all the physical pain you endured through-out your 34 years, that you experienced pain in your last alert moments... I think about our dog being with you when it all happened... 
I imagine you loving being omnipresent, exploring the universe in your cosmic pirate-ship with Xena, your beloved 17 year old dog. I'm not surprised she passed 12 days after you... I'm glad your both free of your aching sore physical bodies. You both lived so adventurously. you and Xena are the only ones I know that can say they lived in their vehicles/bus for over 11 years, driving over a million kms around and through Australia. I also don’t know anyone else that helped as many fringe-dwellers as you did, loved and supported so many beautiful women without trying to take it to a sexual level, who invited people to travel with you and see new incredible parts of Australia. you saved forests, educated people, changed Bunnings national policy, inspired people to live better and more freely, you lived more in your short life-time than anyone I know. you experienced pain, near death experience, limitation childhood abuse and death of loved ones and still managed to be the incredible being full of enthusiasm with an open heart and playful inquisitive nature. 
I was relieved to hear you had been reconnecting with your mum and family. that our close friends had quality time with you before everything changed...       I know you knew there was a high chance of you dying while on the road due to road death statistics... but all the justifications can't outweigh the heaviness of not being able to message you, call you, find out where you are now, what your building or what fascinating experience you’ve had recently.
You were the first and only male partner I have shared a ‘de facto’ type lovership with, having only been with women until you. you were so respectful, you were loving and gentle...  travelling in a old coaster for 6 months with you living a true dream... you built us a bush shack in two weeks, you built us a bush palace in a month and a half, all while been technically ‘disabled’... you showed me sacred sites of Australia, you climbed into caves, swam in ocean with crocodiles a few kms away,, we ate dinner alone with Dick Smith in the desert, casually chatting. you introduced me to Robin Mutoid at Burn out, I loved sitting with you and Robin in the coaster watching you two light up talking about mad hatter genius building ideas... and plans to create an explosive pineapple grenade to the filming we were doing.
Some of my favourite memories of my life-time, have been with you. I cherish you, I cherish my photos of you, I'm relieved I didnt listen to you when you told me to stop taking photos and be in the moment, but now I can look at those memories when I need to see you. every time I see a old coaster van I'm going to think of you... so many things remind me of you... having merlin with me is the silver lining, I'm relieved she was safely found after 15 days of being missing in the bush. I'm relieved she's with me. but I wish I was instead bringing her back to you...
You led such an incredible life I hope to share your stories and pictures with the world. you inspired so many people while you were alive... and even after... thousands of people read about your death on social media and tv... the articles and posts used the photos I took of you. it was surreal to see you and our dog in articles, for what happened to be so publicised... for a tragedy so personal to be used as ‘grief porn’... I hope to use the publicity of it all to make change to the stretch of road. needs better signage, a lower speed, something! I can't get it out of my head that you were the 9th fatality out of 30 accidents in 31 years, within a 4km stretch of road... 9 fatalities is too many. 9 is the final number. you are the last one to be taken out there...
The bush fires started raging not long after you died... in a strange way, the fires seemed fitting in my state of grief. Our lives were all forever changed... I was forever changed. The fires burning for months. My grief, anger, shock and feeling of helplessness burning inside me for months.  the sense of emergency through out the country, the sense of disaster within me.
It was all a bit much trying to deal with you dying, Xena dying, merlin being missing for 15 days and everything else that happened over the next 2 months as well the fires raging, rainforests burning, native wildlife in crisis, homes burning, people dying and the nation all in panic and smoke. Being 1500kms away from my forest home and family while the fires burned out of control less that 40kms away, with road blocks and potential fires in between. Trying to have your life celebration festivities while experiencing heavy rain, wind warnings and strained tumultuous emotions all round... thunder and hail while my mums saying she is taking all my valuables and art to a safe house coz the fires are getting closer, and they are prepping to have to evacuate with the dog, cat, ducks and chickens... luckily, it never came to that, the fires were contained 25kms away from our home, contained only 20kms away from my closest town, a well known beautiful alternative community. 
A moment that will always bring a smile to my heart, was when I was finally driving home. Id had a really rough night, id been holding so much in, trying to just get through everything to get home, id started falling apart... we had just started driving, when we saw a small’ish’ dust devil. the ‘tornado hunter’ part in me instantly wanted to drive up the near by road to chase it. I held back, until I heard my friend say “we could throw some of him ashes into the dust devil”... and I zoomed up the road as quick as I could. although the little twister had gone out of reach, I trustfully threw some of your ashes towards it. my heart felt uplifted as I watched the ash catch, float up and dissolve toward the dust devil.
You weren't scared of dying, you lived actively seeking to push your own limits, always with a cheeky grin. but you always landed like a cat, you were always there, doing your thing... alive. you always came back... you would have heard about the fires and driven straight to help, you would have fought the fires like you had before. you would have used the experience as a way to further pursue actual change for the planet, would have been apart of the vocal community questioning how the government failed to protect and how we needed to have upheaval and revolution...
You drove so safely on the roads. I dont know what happened to the other driver, except that he was seemingly uninjured. was it actually an unfortunate accident? or did the driver lose control going around the corner at 130kms in a 100 zone.... 
Was it really ‘your time to go’? if I hadn't been to the crash site and dealt with all that I have, I might fantasise the idea that you pulled the ultimate fucked up prank, that your hiding out in your doomsday bunker, mischievously laughing at no one knowing your alive, being completely ‘offline’, plotting the moment to reveal yourself... to see you, hug you would be.... 
We separated as lovers 15 months before you died, as we had to go on seperate journeys, we had to become individuals again. we were both struggling with very different things, we had to salvage our friendship and love, to take a break, allow some time... and then... you died 7 hours away, on your way to my area... on your way to see me and Xena.. I can't help but feel I'm being punished somehow, question if I shouldn't have made you leave. you might still be alive... am I silly to dwell on thoughts like that? I thought we had more time.
All I can do is live passionately, continue to be inspired by you and cherish you and our time together, learn from my experiences, healing these wounds by living, by loving, by sharing truth, by having daily gratitude and celebrating the positive events and changes as they come.
I know, for a long time, I will count each passing full moon...
You will always be my gypsy pirate king.  
Fly Free my Lover. I'll see you on the other side once again.
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smartbutuncertified · 5 years
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Resonance
There’s a scientific concept known as resonance. In a few words, every object has a natural frequency. If two objects have the same one, and one of them is struck, they will both react. Think of tuning forks.
The frequency of tuning forks is heavily standardized. If they weren’t, then it would be much harder to know that you were playing the same notes that the composer wrote down. Because of this, if you get two tuning forks of the same frequency, hang one from a string, then ring the other, you will hear a faint, clear tone from the other fork. Like it was an extension of the rung fork, not a separate entity. 
Resonance of objects is quantifiable, explainable, understandable. But humans- humans are different. Humans resonate with ideas. Religious people pray, and feel like someone is listening. Creative people build “rapports” with their tools, and name the most beloved ones. Idealistic people find their vision of the future, and chase it.
But, most consistently, humans resonate with music. Everyone I’ve met has at least one Song that they speak of with a capital letter attached. That Song you only share with people you love, that hits something inside your id and drags you under for the duration of itself. Soul, spirit, heart, mind, whatever you choose to call it, it knows its song when it hears it. The Song that matches the frequency of you.
The most striking example of human resonance that I’ve ever seen was in October of 2010.
Dad was so excited. Van Halen, a band he’d listened to when he was younger, was doing a reunion tour. One of the places they were going to perform was Washington’s very own Tacoma Dome. He got tickets for it as fast as he could.
By “us”, I mean Dad and me. I was the favorite child, being the only one who loved baking, carpentry, and stories like he did. Being the only one that wanted to make things. The only one that read his stories, that sat there as he worked on carpentry projects, that jumped in his lap while he coded and demanded to know what was he making this time? I always wanted to participate in whatever he was doing.
I’d never even heard of Van Halen, but Dad was so excited. It actually made me a little nervous. What if I didn’t like one of Dad’s favorite bands? Would he be sad? I would do my best to enjoy myself, but if I didn’t, Dad was never going to find out. I refused to make him sad.
When he had me practice putting in ear plugs, my nerves got even worse. I Did Not Like the sensation of them. It felt like I’d placed myself underwater, sans all the nice parts. Dad insisted. He didn’t want my hearing to be damaged by the concert. That made sense. It was the same reason he was always telling us to turn down our headphones. ...I still didn’t like them.
The drive down was something I embraced, thinking it was likely to be the best part. Dad’s storytelling was as fine as ever, spinning a yarn about his theft of a radio and his mother making him return it. Another memorable one was of him illegally modifying a station wagon with a jet engine to soup it up, and using it to race a police car down an empty highway. They weren’t lessons or warnings, just fun stories to entertain a lively youngling that was almost bouncing out of the car. I never knew how much of the escapades he told me were true, but I loved them. 
When we got there, I stuck very close to him. It wasn’t out of shyness. I was never a retiring, delicate flower of a child. It was just that there were more people than I could remember seeing in one place in my life, so I had a semi-rational worry that if we got seperated, Dad would be hard to find again. I probably wasn’t far off. The crowds were moving like, well, like an event they’d been waiting for years for was right ahead of them, and they would be damned if they were going to miss it.
The dome was kind of weird smelling, not having the cat-smell I associated with home. It was warm, packed with excited people, and way bigger than my entire school. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. The feeling I had about it was too big to put a name to. I still can’t. Even if I could, I’m not sure if I would want to. It’s the kind of memory that you tuck very tightly against your core so that you’ll never forget. I harbor an irrational fear that if I bring it out too often to study, it will fray, an old photograph handled too often. 
Faster than I thought could be correct, we had to get to our seats. They were good ones, in a balcony to the side of the stage. The seats were much like movie theater seats, but, thankfully, cleaner. Dad insisted that I put in my ear plugs before the lights even went out for the first band, doing the same in solidarity. 
I don’t remember the band that opened very well. Only that I was glad my earplugs were in, and there was a lot of yelling. Not sure if there was more from the band or the crowd, more cheering or heckling. I couldn’t understand the lyrics through the music. I was, weirdly enough, bored.
Then, the opening band left the stage.
I swear on my honor, the air changed. It was full of hope, charging the atmosphere for a storm.
Van Halen walked on, and the storm broke.
People were screaming with joy, love, excitement and all the positive emotions humans are capable of. Half the stadium leapt to their feet on the spot, the rest following by the end of what I think was the first song. That included me, Dad tugging on my hand for me to stand up. People were dancing in place, in the pit, up and down the aisles between seats. Whether they knew the songs word for word or could only remember the chorus, they were singing at the top of their lungs to beat the speakers. Hundreds, maybe thousands for all I knew, of humans were all resonating to the same beat.
I was not one of them. As a perpetual outsider, straining to understand others, I decided to look around. Could I figure it out, how to be caught up and carried away? 
I saw mostly men Dad’s age. Many women of the same age, and a few people older. Many of them had also brought their children. I even saw a baby with fluffy green ear protectors. The truth blindsided me.
For the older adults, this was a dream. 
Those of them that hadn’t had the means to go to a concert when young had gotten older and could now come. Those of them that had just missed their era now had a chance. It was very, very clear that the ones who had brought their children were hoping that their children would resonate like they did, feel the joy they did. It was their chance in a lifetime, and they’d seized it.
For all that I didn’t love the music, I eventually let myself get caught up in the joy. It was a little scary, being part of something with so many people, but also exhilarating. There were points where I worried I’d get lost in the everything and never come back, but Dad was right there. He’d keep me there. I didn’t come down until the concert was over.
There was a gift shop, after. I was tired. But Dad asked me if I wanted a shirt. I knew that what had happened wasn’t… usual. I wanted to remember it. I said yes, and picked the one with a beautiful tattooed woman on it, because it was pretty. It swam on me then, the sizing clearly not meant to accommodate a child. It fits now.
I never really got into Van Halen’s music, so it’s always a bit awkward when I wear the shirt Thankfully, people seem to understand when I say that my dad brought me to a concert. They tend to assume that I tagged along unwillingly, and don’t ask further. But for all I don’t like the music, that shirt turned out to be an unnecessary reminder. 
The power and thunder of thousands of humans, all resonating on the same frequency… it is impossible to forget.
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appreciate-kaimaki · 5 years
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Could I request headcannons for SHSL Biker Gang Leader Maki and SHSL Nurse Kaito?
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Thank you, anon, for sending us our first AU/talentswap ask! This one was such a joy to write! I had to think a lot to make a scenario where a biker gang leader and a nurse could meet and grow closer together, but the ideas really started to flow pretty soon. And in the end, it became the longest piece I've ever written on this blog... so long, in fact, that I converted it into a full fanfic! Did I do your idea justice? What do you think? Your fic is under the cut, so please enjoy!
~Mod Shuichi~
Maki Harukawa is the roughest, toughest, most ruthless gangster the world has ever seen, standing at the very peak of street hierarchy and feared not only by the other gangs (many of whom are double her age) but also the police themselves. She routinely prowls the streets with her gang, clad in her signature red and black leather jacket with a dagger strapped to her thigh and revving her bike's custom engine as loudly as she can as she tears through the streets like the queen of the road she is. And this would have been like any other day, had a rival gang led by Shirogane Tsumugi not decided to mount a sneak attack on her to 'reclaim the streets'. Two of her goons got a van and t-boned Maki's bike in an intersection in a very underhanded move.
They should have known better. Maki Harukawa does not go down that easily - and even if she can't fight them right now herself, her well-trained subordinates are lightyears better than Shirogane's bear-handed misfits. Still, she knows she'd be dead if it weren't for her natural agility and reflexes, and she also knows she's extremely lucky to have gotten off on just a broken arm and leg.
She's rushed to the hospital and Korekiyo, her second-in-command, drops by with some of her gang members to check up on her once the operation's over. Maki tells him not to mind her too much, and to go wage war on Shirogane and her band of idiots instead. He heeds the command with much gusto, but not before pre-paying her bills to the best service the hospital can afford. Never say crime doesn't pay, she muses.
(Other gang leaders would be worried about their second-in-commands usurping their rule while they're out of commission. Not Maki, though. She knows her subordinates like the front of her hand, and they will never betray her while she's still alive.)
Now that she is effectively relieved from duty, the only thing left to do is to rest and mend her bones. Easy, huh?
Apparently not, as the personal nurse assigned to her is the single most annoying human being she has ever seen. His spiky purple hair and goatee clash horribly against his scrubs, and every fifth word out of his mouth is a space pun. He also doesn't appear to be intimidated by her at all - doesn't he know who she is? Any hope that he would be somewhat tolerable is dashed to pieces like her bike when he immediately gives her a despicable nickname in the first minute they meet.
"Hi, I'm Kaito Momota!" he announces way too jovially to someone who just had two limbs wrapped in a cast. "I'll be your nurse for the next four months. Nice to meet you, Miss Maki Roll!"
"Maki Roll?!"
He then proceeds to spend the next three hours explaining how he made her that nickname (because her first name is Maki, you see, and his mom just so adores his maki rolls that it's become a reflex whenever he sees the word, oh did he mention that he makes some wicked maki rolls?) and Maki is ready to either strangle him or rip her own hair out of her scalp when Momota is finally called away by intercom. The reprieve is short-lived, however, as the purple idiot barges back in a mere ten minutes later, ready to torture her with more bad puns and incessant storytelling. At this point, Maki would rather strangle herself. One thing is clear: she cannot take this for four effing months. She'd go mad by the second week.
She takes advantage of one of his bathroom breaks to flag down a passing doctor, a lady with deep purple hair and lavender eyes (was purple hair a thing in medical personnel these days?), and begs her to get her a different nurse, a doctor she could talk to, anyone other than Kaito goddamned Momota.
The doctor, 'Mikan Tsumiki' according to her nameplate, apparently cannot understand Maki's adverse reaction. "B-but didn't your friend ask for the best we had?", she replies quizzically. And right then and there Maki learns from Doctor Tsumiki that Kaito Momota the imbecile in purple is in fact the Super High School Level Nurse what the hell?!
"Everyone's so energetic and cheerful after meeting him," Doctor Tsumiki continues, and Maki can barely contain her incredulousness. Momota chooses that moment to reappear, and Doctor Tsumiki excuses herself. Maki forces herself to think for the best - if he's the Ultimate Nurse, at least he'll be good at treating her enough for her to ignore his prattling.
And he is very good at his job, indeed. He can change her casts without her feeling a single thing. He's always ready on call in case she needs anything, and he's making a visible effort to ramble less after the first few days. He still doesn't seem to acknowledge at all that he's treating the number one gangster in town, though.
He knows who she is. He'd be an actual idiot if he didn't, considering her name still shows up on the news at least once a week (including the report on her 'accident').
Yet he is still as friendly and, dare she say it, charming as the first time he met her. (What? He is annoying, but there is a certain charm to him.) It's nice, but it's also scary. If what he's showing her is a facade, it's a better mask than any she has ever worn and she's terrified of it.
One day she just goes 'fuck it' and decides to ask him herself. Time in the hospital is supremely boring, so Maki can at least blame the situation for her curiosity getting the better of her. She puts on her best game face and calls him over.
"Hey, Momota."
"Yes, Maki Roll?"
"Do you know who I am?"
"Well, duh." He gestures to her patient card at the foot of the bed. "Why wouldn't I? Maki Harukawa, the SHSL Biker Gang Leader. I'm not that stupid, you know."
"Then why aren't you scared of me? Why do you keep trying to get closer? Do I look like a joke to you?"
There. She said it. Now all she needs is answers.
Kaito pulls up a chair and plonks himself down on it. His eyes have a serious look she's never seen before as he opens his mouth.
"I'd be lying if I wasn't a little bit scared. Your eyes have that look down pat. But I'm not gonna let that bother me. At all."
"Why?"
"I became a nurse because I wanted to help people, make them happier and healthier, and I won't stop just because some lady has an unconventional job. The queen of England could be sitting here right now and I'd treat her exactly the same way. To me, you're not Maki Harukawa the gangster. You're Maki Harukawa, the girl with a broken arm and leg."
Maki is thrown for a loop at his words. Nobody had ever considered her identity seperate from her title before. No one has ever treated her like everyone else before. The nerve, part of her mind screams. It's kindness, another part yells back. Maki thinks the latter is more likely.
And as she's thinking, the idiot just has to add, "Plus, I think you're kinda cute."
She takes pleasure in watching Momota duck to avoid the pen she throws at his face.
As the days pass by, she finds herself opening up more and more to Momo... Kaito. (He had insisted upon calling him that, reasoning that they weren't strangers anymore. He wasn't wrong, so she obliged.) As the SHSL Biker Gang Leader Maki is used to a life of hushed voices and fearful glances whenever she shows up, and she deals with it because being the top of the food chain means she has to keep her image intact. But Kaito is different. She feels like she can be actually personal with Kaito, in a way even Korekiyo cannot provide. Maybe it's because whatever she tells him, he doesn't judge - he just listens.
He listens to her past as an orphan, tossed from foster home to foster home. He listens to her recounting the brutal world of street crime and how it burned her childhood into ashes. He listens to what she feels about Korekiyo, how she's grateful for him because he was her first real friend. She can tell he's genuinely interested in whatever it is she's saying.
And then, when she's done talking, he'll share something about himself. He used to want to be an astronaut, before deciding his talents would better be used helping the sick and injured. His best friend is the SHSL Detective (one of them, at least). He helped set him up with his crush the SHSL Pianist, and they've been dating for almost a year. He can actually make some delicious maki rolls. (He brought some over one day to share with her at lunch and she's never tasted a better roll. Maybe the nickname isn't too bad after all?)
It's all very new to her, and Maki is both unnerved and excited by it at the same time. One thing is sure, though - it feels very good to have someone who understands her.
The four months are gone in a flash, and soon Kaito is removing the last pieces of her leg cast as she reads a text from Korekiyo saying he'll head over to pick her up. Maki steals a glance at the nurse busying himself with the cast saw. Is it too sentimental to think that she'd like to see him some more? First impressions aside, she's really grown attached to him - and a part of her wonders if that attachment could become something more. Dammit, Maki thinks. She's been away from action for too long. She must have gone soft. Lost in thought, she jumps in surprise when Kaito's face abruptly fills her field of vision.
"Earth to Maki Roll," he says, "As I was saying, your arm and leg have mended splendidly, so you'll be cleared in the next hour - so I got you a good health present!"
He hands her a bundle wrapped in glittery purple wrapping paper. She tears it open, only to find... her old jacket?
It's not her old jacket. Her old jacket got shredded to ribbons in the crash and they had to throw it away. But this one, also black leather with crimson highlights but shiny new, fits her perfectly in both style and size.
"I saw the interns throwing out your jacket the day you got here. I guessed you might miss it, so I got you a new one. It's not the exact same model, but..."
"How did you know my size?"
"You're joking, right? You went through more than a hundred hospital gowns. Of course I remembered." His smile is blinding, and Maki can't help but give a small smile back in return. For a split second, as she holds the clearly heartfelt gift, all her emotions do battle debating what to do. She settles for hugging him awkwardly around the midsection with a muttered "Thank you."
"You're welcome! It wasn't a big deal, really." Kaito's smile is positively radiant as he hugs her back.
She could really get used to this.
NO. Stop it, Maki. You're the SHSL Biker Gang Leader. You have a reputation. You can't be this soft.
Speaking of soft, Kaito's shirt feels really soft...
Maki. STOP.
She recoils quickly, ducking to hide the blush on her face, and spits out "I bet you give presents to all the patients you treat!" to hide her embarassment only to immediately regret it when his face visibly falls.
"I'm not that kind of person, you know," he mutters, "you were the first time I bought someone something." It's the quietest she's ever seen him. Great, now she's the one feeling bad.
"I'm sorry," she whispers. Kaito gives her a small smile as he escorts her to the doctor's office. "It's okay. I guess I should tell you you're also the only one to get a nickname?"
She laughs out loud, and it feels good again.
True to Kaito's word, the doctor soon gives her the all-clear. He does, however, remind her to go easy on her limbs and keep doing physical therapy for at least another month.
Korekiyo is, true to his word, waiting for her just outside the door with a full brigade of riders in tow. As Maki strides out to meet him, he wordlessly hands her a cracked pair of glasses and a bloody ribbon. Maki grins as she inspects the trophies. Shirogane won't be bothering them anytime soon.
He beckons her to the new bike he just dismounted and mounts the one next to it, just behind the rider. "It's all yours, boss. Just out from the shop."
But before she can get on her new bike and leave, she is reminded of Kaito standing just a few steps behind her, his eyes fixed on her back. Maki's no mind-reader, but she can clearly see the thinly veiled longing etched in his face.
It should be a tough decision. She has a reputation to keep, control to reassume, and underlings to whip into shape, after all. But Maki didn't become queen of the road by doing what everyone expected her to do, did she? It's that moment she decides to do what she does best - follow what her heart tells her. She asks Korekiyo for a pen.
Kaito has decided he's stared enough and just turned to go back inside when Maki's voice rings out from behind him.
"Wait!"
He turns back around. Maki saunters toward Kaito, new jacket glinting in the sunlight. She leans in close to his ear.
"I might come back a few times for my physical therapy... surely you wouldn't mind walking me through the steps a few times?", she whispers, her warm breath tickling his ear. Pleasant shivers run through Kaito's spine.
Kaito gets the message. His smile could call the Sun too dark as he replies, "I'd love to!"
Pulling the boy close into a hug, Maki stuffs a note in his pocket and plants a quick kiss on his cheek before walking back to her bike and the waiting Korekiyo. A few throaty revs and a hand signal from Maki later, the bikes all zoom away leaving only a small cloud of fumes and some skid marks behind.
Left alone in the parking lot, Kaito fishes out Maki's note and opens it, pumping his fist when he sees its contents - a phone number underlined twice, with the name 'Maki Roll' written next to it. The short message below simply reads 'Call me'.
Back at their headquarters, Korekiyo dares to ask Maki about the purple-haired nurse she seemed quite close to. Her only reply is a smile and "Someone I can tolerate being close to."
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brenssi-blog · 5 years
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Smthg is wrong definitely. JK came in a separate van alone. JM came in with YG. And JM will always hashtag JK if the latter is in the background of his selca but today's tweet, JM didnt... Im kinda sad that it boils down to this. I cannot figure why JM and JK are not how they used to be. Obviously, rumours that JM is staying at JK's apt is wrong with today's arrival at the airport. 2018 is the official year KM ended. Im kinda sad... What do you think?
I personally think that you’re fixating on really minor things && that if it legitimately makes you sad I think it would be healthy if you took a step back from this.
Now my opinion about the subjects you mentioned ;
* I personally don’t keep up with airport stuff aside from the things I see passing by on Tumblr & Twt because I don’t want to support more people going out and taking pictures. Now, I don’t think them arriving in seperate vans discredits JM possibly visiting JK’s apartment. They seem to be in the middle or finalizing stages of recording their new album, they even pulled an all nighter working on it before heading to the Grammys. It’s not weird to assume that the guys are currently all staying at the dorms again. It also makes it less suspicious if they don’t arrive in the same car once in a while lol (if that’s something they need to pay attention to.) Also, let’s say that JK indeed slept at his own apartment, it’s nowhere confirmed that JM lives there as well hence it’s completely normal that he isn’t there 24/7. Honestly, even if they’re living together it’s not weird xD
* I’d majorly have to backtrack to confirm that JM used to tag /all/ the pictures JK related, but let me say this ; he went out of his way to include JK in his picture. If there was legitimately something wrong between the two, I don’t think he would’ve done that. 
* I personally don’t see anything wrong between them currently. Between JM’s tweets before Valentine’s and dare I say wearing JK’s jacket today, I just think they’re being a lot more subtle. They’re currently in their twenties and if we go by theories, been in a stable relationship for at least a few years already. They don’t need to prove to us that their relationship is still “going strong”. Also, we only see these tiny bits of their daily lives, and god knows what goes on beyond the scenes. Even if things might appear ‘wrong’ at times or ‘not how they were supposed to be’, I think it’s healthy to remember that something being wrong in their relationship is not the only answer. They’re 2 individuals who go through a lot of things and we should remember that they’re only human like you & me.
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allieinarden · 6 years
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What is your take on how the Mystery Twins' relationship evolved during their teenage years? I once saw someone claim how D&MvsTF showed how they would have to grow more seperated during their teen years in order to develop as individuals and go their own way & thus abandon their closeness as siblings, so some perspective from someone like yourself who is well versed in analysing the dynamics of characters would be quite helpful!
I think you’re right that “Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future” foreshadowed a drifting apart, but I also think it was something like the bad future foreshadowed in A Christmas Carol—the shadows of things that may be, rather than things that will be. Not to say that the twins will always be the same kind of close that they are now—there will be adulthood, moving out, careers and marriages and children, but all in its time. Growing up suddenly and separately, as they would both have done if Dipper had accepted Ford’s offer, would have severed them; growing up together at a natural pace will hopefully teach them how to balance their love for one another with the changes that life must bring.
Plus, you don’t have to be physically close to be close. Those kids are going to be at the top of each other’s recent texts for the rest of their lives, I imagine.
(That said, I like to imagine that Dipper pops the “Will you be my ghosthunting co-host?” question at some point and they spend most of their twenties driving all over the country in a banged-up van hot on the trail of the supernatural. If they ever live in different states it’ll be because they met their spouses on the road!)
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mariocki · 7 years
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The Hard Way (1979)
“You tell him from me - this is the last.”
There isn’t a lot of information out there about The Hard Way, making it a bit of a mystery. It was produced by ITC in 1979 - that much is fact - and appears to have been intended for theatrical release. ITC had been moving steadily from TV to film production throughout the 1970s, although their films had always been licensed to other companies for release. 1979 was the year this changed, as ITC partnered with Thorn EMI Screen Entertainment (itself a conglomerate of the seperate Thorn and EMI entities, also a 1979 baby) to produce Associated Film Distribution. AFD would distribute films made by both ITC and Thorn EMI, as well as any other films the companies could pick up and sell.
AFD would be a short lived disaster, producing two of the biggest flops of 1980 before being unceremoniously wound down (prompting the retirement of ITC head honcho Lew Grade into the bargain). Those two films, incidentally, were Can’t Stop The Music (a musical-comedy faux biopic of The Village People, released just as disco was going out of style, and which inspired the Razzie awards) and Raise The Titanic (an overly long, incredibly expensive adaptation of a Clive Cussler novel that was absolutely trashed by Cussler himself). These were two hugely costly mistakes that lost millions of dollars. So why had the cheap, safe The Hard Way not made it into cinemas the year before?
I don’t have the answer, I’m afraid. Like I said, details are sparse. A little digging around, however, does hint at a troubled production. The script was written by Kevin Grogan and Richard F. Tombleson (actually Richard Ryan), with Tombleson to direct, Michael Dryhurst to produce and John Boorman to act as executive producer. How exactly a director of Boorman’s stature got involved with this minor production is also shrouded in mystery, though its worth noting that the film was made almost entirely in Ireland (where Boorman had long been based) and that the director was fresh from his own cinematic disaster (1977’s absolute mess Exorcist II: The Heretic, once described by Mark Kermode as “demonstrably the worst film ever made”). Whatever happened next, Tombleson was soon dropped as director and replaced by producer Dryhurst - anecdotal legend has it that either Tombleson found the ‘hard living’ nature of his cast too much to deal with, or that he clashed (personally or professionally) with star Patrick McGoohan.
Dryhurst had experience as an associate producer and as an assistant director, but this was to be his first project in the senior positions (his only credit as director, in fact). Whether or not ITC lost confidence in an inexperienced crew, or doubted the financial return of such a quiet, maudlin film, is pure speculation. I just don’t know (sorry, I never promised to have answers). Whatever the case, the film never got a theatrical release and instead became a TV movie and, in a few years, an early home video release. There it seems to have picked up a (very) small but devoted following.
The plot is nothing much new; McGoohan is John Connor, an aging hitman who works for hire, usually for a mercernary organization headed by McNeal (Lee Van Cleef). Connor has retired, but McNeal needs him for one last job and eventually pressures him to come out of retirement by threatening Connor’s estranged wife. Connor doesn’t go through with it, McNeal loses face and orders him killed; the scene is set for a suitably dramatic showdown. This isn’t groundbreaking, or even particularly special. But the final product is, just a little, special. Something went right, somewhere along the line, and The Hard Way turns out to be a surprisingly memorable film. I’m not saying ITC would have made a fortune, had they distributed the film to cinemas, but they certainly wouldn’t have lost millions and I’m sure it would have at least broken even…
The best word I can use to describe this film is sparse. Everything is just a little bleak, a little grey. Country landscapes are autumnal, grubby and wet. City shots seem especially grimy and gaunt. Dryhurst - who actually equips himself pretty well as a first time director - eschews closeups and keeps everyone at a middle distance, where its difficult to properly read their faces. Even the script is sparse. The whole film revolves around Connor and he’s not often offscreen for any length of time, yet he has only a handful of lines in the entire thing. Dryhurst didn’t even use an original score, instead using two ready-made pieces from Brian Eno’s 1978 experimental album, Music For Films.
The cast (Van Cleef and McGoohan aside) are mostly semi-familiar faces from British and Irish television - Donal McCann, Joe Lynch, Kevin Flood. The notable exception is Connor’s wife, Kathleen. Played by celebrated Irish novelist Edna O'Brien - in her only credited screen role - Kathleen spends most of the film isolated from the other characters. She provides much of the background and insight on Connor, delivering melancholy monologues directly to camera in what looks like a cave. Its disconcerting at first, having such a particular tone and presence for just one character (the context of her one sided conversation and its setting is not revealed until the very end of the film) but it ends up working. As the very human side of an inhumane business (Kathleen is the only truly sympathetic character in the film) she anchors everything in a state of reality and consequence. Its what prevents the film from becoming just another generic action film, or an overly grim mood Piece; the idea that though Connor is A Bad Man, and not really suited to any other life, there was a time that he was capable of love, when he was a husband and a father and not just a man with a gun.
Really though, the film belongs to the two stars - it was always going to. Van Cleef is Van Cleef; an actor who, although typecast early on as villains and murderers, was always elegant and subtle in his performances. As McNeal he is the other face of the coin to McGoohan’s Connor. Both men are getting old and getting tired, but where Connor is determined to quit, McNeal is more than ever obsessed with carrying on. His demand that Connor perform the fateful hit feels less about ‘hiring the best’ and more about preventing someone from taking the easy way out. “Men like us don’t stop”, he tells Connor when they first confront one another. In that line is his major misunderstanding of the situation, the idea that he and Connor are the same, with the same goals, drive, needs. He offers more money, but its clear from the very beginning that Connor has never been overly interested in the pay - he takes enough for himself and sends the rest to his family. “I have enough”.
McNeal is proved right in the end, in that both men find themselves unable to stop once the wheels are in motion. The final showdown - Connor entering a certain trap, McNeal rigging the house with tripwire and microphones - is a minor masterpiece of its kind. Connor is wounded early in the scene and spends the rest of it prowling around, using one arm to fire his shotgun at anything and everything that spooks him. Its a paranoid moment but you never feel like Connor has lost control - rather that he’s beyond caring, or has made peace with whatever outcome he expects.
McGoohan is incredible in these scenes, as he is throughout. As I said, he gets precious little dialogue, but it works to his advantage. Always a very physical actor, McGoohan hunches his shoulders and stalks his way slowly through the film conveying his feelings and reactions with a tilt of the head or a movement of his hand. There is a moment where Connor recieves a letter from his daughters, emigrated to America, and begins a reply. Its a simple enough scene, but as Edna O'Brien speaks in voice-over, about how he was a good father, but distant too, McGoohan holds the letter from him; he wanders to the window, stares out as if considering his reply; goes to put the letter down and apparantly move away; has second thoughts, sits and looks at the letter again; slowly, hesitantly pulls a piece of paper towards himself and picks up a pen; holds the pen as though he doesn’t know what to do next and finally, almost resigned, begins to write. Its a fantastic piece of theatre which is a lot more subtle played out than it is described here - the quiet, controlled, fastidious killer faced with the one aspect of his life which visibly makes him uncertain, which he can’t entirely control, which could be exploited as his weakness (as Kathleen is). It’s never really explained why the kids are in America, but watching the film you can’t help but feel its at least partly because Connor had no idea what to say to them.
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ajp3mbgk-blog · 5 years
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qgaje8wz-blog · 5 years
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Would something like an older, heavier car get me a better insurance rate? Any insurance lowering tips also?
Would something like an older, heavier car get me a better insurance rate? Any insurance lowering tips also?
I m a 16 year old teen guy (I know, I know) and I m getting a car. Would an older, heavier model of car, like a large van or something, reduce my incredibly high rates? Looking an an out here. I don t have enough money to pay for it all. Any insurance lowering tips, besides drivers ed and good (already qualify) would be great.
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im 18 and its available, if any. What the insurance go up these rates vary so answer with facts, not details and they have i moved to Orlando. insurance usually cost, and public trans and my car insurance from, for could beat that? cheers!! explain to me in my license. Can i to go for insurance, insurnace but a few the average cost for want to switch but 20.m.IL clean driving record it and I m hoping red cars than other that will have fair would cost me to for the year? Thanks that could never be planning to get my to look into? Thanks! it?!? Does life insurance make $300 too much car insurance..i would really have to deliver newspapers? other job offers and Southern California and work I only have a to know what is $150.00 a month MAX. at home with me litre Citroen C2, where s be having a telephonic if he is insured my wisdom teeth and will literally LOVE anyone .
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