hey guys it's midnight on a random wednesday so you know what that means. Analysis Of Q!Cellbit And Q!Jaiden's Entire Relationship Brought Straight To Your Screens From My Incredible Beautiful Mind. let's jump right into it Here we fucking go.
ok. so. here's the thang. qjaiden and qcell are two characters you would not expect to be as good of friends as they are, which is really fantastic, but basically ever since qjaiden returned from her kidnapping that has. very slowly and very gradually been degrading. and i don't think some Nuclear conflict will ever come out of that. i don't think they'll ever stop being friends either but things could be... different for sure.
because the BIG thing here is they literally Started Being Friends specifically because qcell trusted qjaiden so much. back in JUNE, following festa junina and the wedding, cell saw how protective and loyal jaiden was to roier (#slay), and instantly shot her up to being one of his most trusted people on the island. he also understood what jaiden was doing with her cucurucho tasks for the eggs very strongly. he truly supported how that was what she wanted to do, no matter the risks. i remember a moment where he specifically told her that if she ever ends up "in too deep" with her cucu tasks, and she thinks she's done something that she can't come back from, that there will still be people there supporting her. (himself, of course, surely being one of them).
but then qjaiden comes back from her weeks spent with the cucuruchos. where she, as someone who has absolutely HORRIBLE self worth, who is still grieving the loss of her son and her family, is stuck with two creatures she thinks supported her after bobby's death when absolutely no one else did... who stick her in a room filled with reminders of her dead son and draw little pictures and dance around just like he always did. who made it so that she could only talk to Them, only be supported and loved By Them, for several weeks straight. isn't That just. a funny coincidence.
and now she thinks that cucurucho and osito bimbo are the only ones she can fully rely on. she thinks she needs to start keeping secrets to protect herself, to protect cucurucho, because she tried in the past to be completely honest about herself, but all that got her was suspicion, was secret waystones at her safe place which she made to cope with the loss of her son. she thinks that being honest with anyone besides, well, foolish and bagz, now, who are very likeminded about the cucuruchos, will only bring herself more hurt. and possibly endanger cucurucho too, who she genuinely cares so deeply about.
so then, contrast that with qcellbit being... cellbit. and constrast that with the fact that, again, jaiden has absolutely horrible self worth. cellbit told her so many times, in the past, how he trusts her, and how he will support her even if she thinks she has no one else there for her. but to her, she can't tell him the truth about her kidnapping, about what she thinks of cucurucho, about what she found out about her past, because she thinks he'll hate her and won't ever want to be her friend again. she doesn't think he trusts her anymore at all. and, it's kind of true. his trust in her Has faded—but that's because he Knows she's been doing more things with cucurucho lately.
he knows something's happened to her, and Knows she's been hiding things from him ever since she returned from her kidnapping. but he doesn't even press her about it, cause he knows she won't answer. he still cares about her so much, but he cannot have that massive trust in her he used to have, because she's clearly hiding so much even if she'll never admit it. there was a specific moment pretty recently actually where cellbit asked her if she's talked to cucu recently or something, and she was like Ehh. um. nooo 😅 or. something. and he in the most unconvincing voice was like... okay... but you know you can talk to me, right? and she just... uhh. yeahhh. She Does Not Know That She Can Talk To Him.
so like. i have no idea if any of this is comprehensible at this point but. tl;dr qcellbit does Not just trust Anyone, but he genuinely trusted qjaiden So Much, and though he still does a bit, so much of it has faded because. well. Because of how well cucurucho's manipulation has worked on her, i'll be honest. and that manipulation has affected qjaiden So much, she is still acting as a result of what it continuously instills upon her, AND she is Still struggling against her atrocious self-esteem because she thinks cellbit will hate her if she told him the truth. so, she just has to keep lying. "hiding is what keeps you alive," after all.
(...also um. editing this part in. In terms of jaiden breaking into the fear room for funsies cellbit Loves how chaos-oriented she is so he will not care literally at fucking all about her breaking into the fear room. especially cause she Does Not Know how significant it is and he's known it's not 100% secure. he didn't even care about her and foolish stealing the happy pills At All. let's all use our brains here y'know. but in any case...)
cellbit will continue, i think, to tell her that she can talk to him, that he still wants to trust her and he wants to be there for her... but unless something pretty massive changes, and Soon, jaiden is going to continue going down the path she always has. cellbit cares about her so much, and they're still gonna be friends. i think he even considers her family. but he is not going to be able to trust her anywhere near as much as he used to in this horrible, horrible environment.
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you're laughing. Ianto Jones got into Torchwood because he was such a pathetic loser weirdo that Yvonne Hartman latched onto him and made him her little meow meow and you're laughing? Me too.
Blind Summit is making me feel shrimp emotions holy shit. Just . Everything. Ianto Jones being silly but also trying to survive the crushing weight of the world. The utter GUT PUNCH at the end where he says he doesn't want to devieve people because he thinks he'll be good at it with the DEVASTATING Ballad of Ianto Jones in the background?? The entire audio just forces you to remember how young he was and how full of life he was before the fall/joining Torchwood in general, how from the beginning he was always someone who would do anything to save someone. He didn't want to become a torchwood operative and he didn't want to deceive anyone and the first real thing you ever learn about Ianto Jones is that he was a liar who deceived the entire Torchwood team. I am not okay
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A Steddie fanfiction. Rated E. 84k.
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April 1986
“How’re you feeling, Ed?” Steve asks quietly, preserving the stillness of the night that surrounds them.
“Think I’m alright, a little tired.” Eddie watches the gentle waves that ripple out from his shins kicking softly in the water. It’s been a long day, even he has to admit that, and he’s feeling… well, that’s the end of the sentence. He’s feeling.
It’s the first time Eddie’s been around everyone all at once since the Upside Down and the kids, they mean well and he knows that, surrounded him with so much love that it’d become overwhelming. So had sitting upright, walking around, talking. The last hour or so, he’d gone ghost— transparent without actually disappearing— and the others followed his lead. Pretend you’ve vanished hard enough and the people around will you pretend, too. Except for Steve, he discovers.
It’s an odd thing though, preferring to be still, to be quiet, and he hates that the Upside Down has stolen this piece of himself, too. Steve’s assured him that it’s okay, that he’ll be his boisterous, loud, antsy self again when his body’s healed but it’s taking too long for Eddie’s liking. Or comfort.
“You know it's normal, right? It’s a lot, Ed. You didn’t even have to stay out here the whole time, no one would’ve minded or blamed you.” Steve sits next to him, letting his feet slide in beside Eddie’s. Everyone else is inside— kids, parents, everyone who’s made the Harrington House their base while waiting for the government pay-outs and new homes. It’s late now, but Steve and Eddie take advantage of the silence as they so often do.
“Yeah, yeah I know. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
Steve nods and lets his pinky touch the edge of Eddie’s, palm down on the cold, wet concrete.
“You don’t, you’re right. I didn’t either. For what it’s worth though,” Steve takes a breath, thinks about how he wants to word this without making a confession he’s not yet ready for, “I like every version of you.”
Eddie’s heart pounds in his chest and he watches the ripples from Steve’s legs blend into his. Huh, he thinks, something symbolic there.
He doesn’t respond, just wraps his pinky around Steve’s.
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