#also since i keep imagining the scene from palm springs someone write a palm springs au for the old guard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wedreamedlove · 3 years

Text

Bai Qi’s Vitality [Character Study]

Essay train chugging away at full speed here, haha. This comparison came into my mind while I was ruminating over Xu Mo's post and it was actually what made me jump the gun to push out Xu Mo's before I read his Prison Date (more accurately Imprisoned Dreams Date...) because this essay for Bai Qi jumps off of Xu Mo's post.

Disclaimer: I use CN translations and also spoiler warning for R&S synopses for end of Season 1.

First, I want to quote some lines from weibo user @我写文太差被关了起来 (lit. "My writings are so bad I got locked up" LOL) whose post I don't really agree with, but she wrote these three lines for Bai Qi that sunk its claws into me and won't leave:

"If I can only choose one word to describe Bai Qi then I would choose 'vitality'."

"He doesn't wish to love this world."

"He has always loved this world."

If Xu Mo both yearns for companionship [Loneliness] but is innately separated from the world [Into Your World] and ruthless to himself in accepting that furthering his goals may continue to keep him alone, then Bai Qi is separated and aloof from the world by choice.

If Xu Mo has a detached view and an intellectual curiosity or fixation on the abstract concept of survival of humanity, then Bai Qi is down on the ground experiencing the world in its natural state and trying to protect it, individual by individual.

I'm not saying one is better than the other (they're both my biases) but it's neat to contrast them. I've mentioned here and there that the LovePro men are foils for each other in interesting ways.

Anyway, I wrote this piece [Price of Freedom] but there was a missing link I had a hard time articulating and now it's been delivered to me! So, while Bai Qi has made MC his home and the North Star he always goes towards, he can actually survive on his own because of his innate core of justice.

I know it's a common thought that Bai Qi revolves around MC too much and she's like a goddess placed on a pedestal because she gave him a new life, but what I want to argue is that while she did give him a new lease on life she isn't the sole meaning of his existence.

MC is incredibly important to Bai Qi, but the quote below shows what she really gave him when he awakened his Evol from her piano playing.

"His existence didn't need a so-called father, what people called friends, or an accepted meaning." [Campus Date]

He becamse self-actualized right then and there. He doesn't need to rely on anyone or anything to live now except for what he himself decides on.

Now, I'm going to plop an entire scene from his [Fullmoon Date] because it's going to lead into my next points. Please keep in mind the words from the weibo user at the top:

(But also, why did Elex translate the entire date into present tense? Ballsy LOL. Not only does it break consistency from their previous dates but the source text was in past tense and not written for present tense.)

The full moon was reflected in his eyes and in my muddled state I could faintly hear the growl issued from his throat.

His claws slowly grew and tore into his palm. A blood-red light gathered in the center of his hand and it became a sparkling crimson heart-shaped crystal.

Wizard: Bai Qi, do you really think you can defeat me?

Wizard: If you could, then you wouldn't have chained yourself here together with me for so many years.

Bai Qi: It's different now.

Wizard: What?

Wizard: Haha, don't tell me you're going to throw away your humanity? Then you really will become a monster that is neither human nor beast!

Bai Qi: I don't care.

Bai Qi lowered his head and looked deeply at the girl in his embrace, a tenderness in his eyes that he never had before.

He softly brushed the hair on her forehead and leaned close to her ear, gentle but unwilling to say goodbye.

Bai Qi: I'm very lucky.

Bai Qi: That, right before I fell into the darkness, there was someone who caught me.

Bai Qi: Whether it was apple pie or lemon pie, the things you made... they were all delicious.

Bai Qi: I wanted to lie down on the grass with you and take a nap. I could have also lent you my tail as a pillow.

Bai Qi: I wanted to be able to grab your hand every time you ran, not as a hunter and their prey and not for training.

Bai Qi: Thank you, [MC].

Wizard: What are you mumbling about?

Bai Qi didn't concern himself with the wizard's provocation and he carefully placed the girl's body in a safe corner. The next time he raised his head, his face was filled with resolve.

In the next second, he crushed the crystal in his hand.

Pausing here to point out the epic callbacks Papergames always does. I checked the ENG and while there was no problems there, the CN text echoed the same structure entirely.

"Then I'm very lucky. There was someone who caught me right before I hit the bottom." [CH7.18]

"And you saved me. Don't lower your head, look at me. Don't feel insecure and don't feel like you're useless. You caught me again right before I hit the bottom." [CH15.7]

"The day I met her, there were gingko leaves drifting and falling slowly through the air, and it was the most beautiful time in late autumn. It was also the darkest time of my life. But she was the one who caught me tightly when I fell." [Spring Festival Date]

Returning back to the [Fullmoon Date]:

I slowly stood up, shivering uncontrollably, but I did my best to keep up a smile and carefully walked towards him.

Bai Qi: Stay away from me!!

MC: ......

His voice was hoarse and rough. The snow gradually lightened and softly fell onto that enormous body, like a sad but gentle embrace.

Bai Qi: Don't...

Bai Qi: ... Don't look at me.

My mind was filled with Bai Qi's face and, before today, I couldn't have imagined the close calls and fights he had experienced.

He would wag his tail in happiness and, when he was displeased, his ears would twitch back and forth, selling him out.

His hair was soft and his hands full of calluses, but when squeezed they were warm.

MC: Bai Qi, now I finally know why you were trapped here.

MC: You locked yourself up, right?

Bai Qi: ......

MC: All these years, it was to protect the townspeople and to fight that wizard.

Bai Qi tensed his body and I slowly raised my voice, repeating my conclusions again.

MC: You chained yourself here to protect others.

MC: In order not to let people come close, did you spread the rumors about eating Red Riding Hood yourself?

MC: Everyone is terrified of you, hates you, and calls you a monster, but you still protect them.

I approached him, bit by bit, and the snow fell into the corners of my eyes, slowly dripping down.

MC: This Big Bad Wolf of yours... you aren't qualified at all.

Bai Qi: ... These are just your guesses.

MC: Then you can tell me.

MC: No matter how many times it's said, as long as you talk to me, I'll listen.

Bai Qi: NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE A MONSTER!

MC: I believe.

MC: Besides, you aren't a monster.

MC: Let's go home. I'll bring you your favorite apple pie tomorrow.

Bai Qi slowly turned around and the snow fell into his pained eyes. I saw him remain in place.

Bai Qi: ... You aren't scared of me?

MC: I'm scared.

Bai Qi: Then why...?

MC: But I... want to understand you, little by little. I want to understand the real you.

It was impossible for me to imagine how many times he had once been misunderstood and been attacked. He sifted through this heap of suffering, again and again, but all he managed to save up was a bit of sweetness.

Yet he relied on this sweetness to solidify himself into a voiceless and silent blade, standing up steadfast in the abyss and never wavering.

My hand finally touched Bai Qi's "hand". His claws were pointed and held no warmth.

MC: You defeated that wizard, right?

Bai Qi: ......

Bai Qi: Mm, he's gone.

MC: Fairytales always write about knights and a prince on a white horse defeating the evil wizard and protecting the peace of the country.

Bai Qi: I'm not as great as you say and I've never thought about changing the way others look at me.

Bai Qi: I just use my own way... to be who I want to be.

Bai Qi: I'm not that prince on a white horse written in fairytales.

MC: Prince Charming certainly wouldn't be like how you are now.

His ears trembled and it was like he suffered a bit of a blow.

MC: Prince Charming always has to ride on a horse, wear a stylish cape, and wield a golden glittering sword.

MC: He has to always be graceful and maintain a heroic appearance.

Bai Qi: ......

MC: He wouldn't be like you, in such dire straights and so miserable, even giving up your own freedom.

MC: Even being beaten black and blue, with a bloody nose and swollen face, and yet crawling up out of the mud to go and protect other people.

MC: How is this a prince on a white horse?

His claws trembled slightly and his tail drooped down. His gaze was stuck to the ground, as if he were waiting for some sort of judgment.

MC: Bai Qi, you're a hero.

After he heard my words, his head shot up and those amber eyes were filled with doubt and shock.

MC: Even when you're covered in injuries and your clothes are ripped and torn, you still continue to stand in front of everyone.

MC: Even if there was no glory or reward, you would continue to use your own way to protect them. To protect me.

MC: You're the most foolish of heroes.

MC: But you're also... my hero.

First, more callbacks to Bai Qi's view about other people:

"At that time he said to me, 'Since you can't change the way others look at you, why not just follow your heart and do what you want to do.' These words had a great impact on me." [Campus Date]

"When did I ever care about other people's views? Except for yours, I don't care about any others." [Wish Date]

HONESTLY, the entire prince vs. hero speech the MC gave was just so darn good. The bit about how he crawls through the mud, battered and bruised, to continue protecting people? I had to take a moment after reading that and recalled the weibo user's line about how she would describe Bai Qi with just the word "vitality". The crazy thing is that they wrote this BEFORE Halloween was even announced.

Now, coming back to this essay, this is showing how he can live without the heroine. That was exactly what he was doing in [Fullmoon Date]; she gives more meaning and softness to his life, but he wasn't living an empty life before her either. Like he said, he was just doing what he wanted to do and being the person he wanted to be.

(whispers) He doesn't wish to love the world. He has always loved the world.

The winter world version of him shows this incredibly well. Yes, he was cold and curt towards MC throughout the whole thing but he also had that unchangeable core of kindness and justice and, as I mentioned in my Xu Mo post, MC draws her strength from how Bai Qi is always the same.

[Rumors & Secrets: Lost]

"How is he?"

Bai Qi's voice sounded and everyone in the rehearsal hall turned their heads to look in the direction of the door. The man's wounds had already been treated simply and there was a small gauze taped on his left cheek.

The female team member, who was in charge of comforting the man, gave a forced smile: "Not too good. I think he still needs..."

Before she finished speaking, the man suddenly shuddered violently. He gripped the blanket on his body tightly and tried to hide himself inside. His eyes shook and his expression was guarded as he carefully stared at Bai Qi's movements. The look in his eyes was as if he was watching a monster. The female team member nodded her head, a bit awkwardly, at Bai Qi and hurriedly brought the man away. When they passed beside Bai Qi, she heard that man muttering to himself.

"Monster..."

Bai Qi also heard it, but he only looked at the piano beside the window indifferently. That spotless white color was stained with blood, looking extremely wrong.

"Clean everything up."

Everyone who was stunned in their place came back to themselves and rushed to resume their actions. The short man sidled over to Bai Qi and it took him a long time before he could say: "Captain Bai, don't mind that..."

Bai Qi didn't say anything and only lightly nodded his head. He really didn't put what had happened just now in his mind, or perhaps one could say he was already used to it.

He saved many people under the hands of different criminals: some would thank him, others would be terrified to the point of being unable to speak, but the majority of them, after seeing his power, would see all Evolvers as monsters.

Look! LOOK! He continues doing his job even without knowing the MC and protecting others, despite whatever people think of him and say about him.

MC's presence in his life gives him:

"She's the one who told me I could live more strongly, and she's also the one who told me I could live more gently." [Spring Festival Date]

Her love gives him the sweetness his world is lacking, but he doesn't need it either. Again, I want to emphasize that it doesn't make it any less important and they're probably both halves of the whole that makes up the Bai Qi we all know and love, but he won't have the gaping hole and conflict that Xu Mo is going through LOL.

Okay, now we're going into extreme spoiler territory where these R&S synopses show Bai Qi's perspective before the end of the world and Season 1.

[CN Weibo Topic: Before the Comet Strike]

Looking up at the clear sky, before the world was displaced, the memories imprinted on our minds would not be erased.

[Frontier: A Message Unable to be Passed On]

At the last second, he was still quietly organizing and protecting this city.

The words he ordinarily wouldn't say in front of you turned into gentle whispers that melted into the night breeze.

The answer and door at the end of the world would surely be revealed in the near future.

[CN Fearless ER - Rumors & Secrets: Frontier]

Bai Qi leaned against his motorcycle and suddenly felt that what he had always protected in the past—what that girl had always protected in the past—was not only the entire city and this world, including the people who weren't willing to give up on anything, but also the most ordinary and small things in life.

It was to have a not-so-big place, a hot steaming breakfast in the morning, a light for him when he returned home late, and the one phrase "Welcome home".

"It would have been nice if that could have lasted a bit longer."

I can't translate this entire R&S because there's too much context and build up missing, but the important takeaway is his utter conviction in the MC and how he wants her to continue running forward without looking back and his belief in how their destinations will always overlap. If they continue to move forward, he believes they'll definitely meet again.

MY HEART. BECAUSE HIS DESTINATION IS ALWAYS HER!

I've always mentioned that MC and Bai Qi parallel each other so much that they're almost like mirrors. They both prioritize justice, the lives of ordinary and innocent people, and they are each other's source of courage, motivation, and determination to keep moving.

They add to each other's lives, but they don't need each other in order to keep getting up after falling and fighting for their belief of protecting the world and their loved ones.

Lastly, to finish off my new ode of love for Bai Qi, I'm going to end with the weibo user's words again:

"He doesn't wish to love this world."

"He has always loved this world."

#love and producer #mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mlqc gavin #mlqc bai qi #love and produc(ing) meta

33 notes · View notes

lovexdejun · 4 years

Text

a/n: uhh technically this ain’t angst but it was requested from the angst prompt i reblogged? this SO FUCKING FUN to write. i love these kinds of scenarios so. much. i guess this is like a thriller/crime blurb? i hope you enjoy it as much as i did! (also, in no way, shape or form do i think like this, it’s just what i think serial killers would think like.)

requested by @hyucksxx from this prompt list

56. “I could have died and you couldn’t have cared less.”

60. “Don’t hate me for this. You would have done the same.”

warnings: uh mention of death and serial killings?

middle of the desert, 1:03am

sometimes you wonder what your life would have been if you’d never met hyuck. probably boring; probably that same old 9 to 5 desk job, takeout every night, and standstill traffic on the 101. it wouldn’t surprise you if you’d spent over half your adult years trapped on that stupid freeway.

but then he came along, and everything got fun. he went by haechan when he met you, wouldn’t tell you his real name until he could “trust you.” you can imagine how surprised he was when you rolled into the bar the next night and called him donghyuck—that 9to5 sure had its perks. that’s probably about the time that he fell head over heels for you, and needless to say, you were already very very intrigued by the boy. but no matter how much you loved each other, you were both still pretty selfish.

no one in the world could convince you to throw yourself under the bus for them, even donghyuck. if it came down to it, between you and him, you’d always protect yourself—and you had no doubt he felt the same.

so you definitely weren’t surprised when you saw donghyuck slowly drop his shovel and sprint off back toward the hidden jeep over the detective’s shoulder. it kinda hurt though, knowing you weren’t about to get caught with your partner in crime. you always thought you’d get got together, and it would be like bonnie and clyde... or something. even though you’d probably pin the whole thing on him, and him on you. still, it would have been fun for you guys to look at eachother and know you did all of this together.

but no, you were in this alone, just like you’d expected.

“i finally caught you in the act.” said the exceptionallly dressed man. he’d been trailing you for a whole year now, and you could have kicked yourself for not keeping an eye out. he was obsessed with you! ever since that murder last spring—your wallet had been found at the scene, but you could easily explain it away as theft because she was a transient and, well, you were the perfect, sweet girl next door.

detective kim doyoung, however, didn’t buy it. you think he just got out of a bad relationship and needed some validation and that’s probably why he was stalking you at clubs and restaurants to try and catch you doing something illegal. but when you found out he was doing it of his own accord, you decided to take part in his game. you filed a police report on his “harassment” and got him fired—and maybe pissed him off a bit.

so there he stood in the pitch black, the only thing illuminating the area being the flashlight he held under his drawn firearm. you’d be lying if you said your heart wasn’t bouncing around in your rib cage, but you kept a poker face, leaning on your shovel like you were talking to a neighbor.

when you spoke, it was with a mocking type of humor, “i wondered when you would—took you long enough.”

he played along, chuckling himself. “you didn’t make it easy.” he confessed. “which is gonna make it so much sweeter when i can take you in and put you on display for all those fuckers who didn’t believe me.”

this made you go weak in the knees, but not in a good way. there was no way you’d let this crazy guy take you alive, and if you could help it, you definitely didn’t wanna die any time soon. suddenly you found yourself wishing for haechan—and not just so you could throw him in the line of fire. you wanted him to be there to just hold your hand.

your distraction must have been evident because detective kim made a point of calling you out on it.

“no one is gonna help you now, sweetheart. it’s just you and me.” he sounded so cocky, so confident. he didn’t realize he’d just screwed himself by giving you an idea.

you let out a laugh that was almost too evil before you spoke with a voice that dripped with sweet venom.

“that’s where you’re wrong, detective.” you cooed, shifting your eyes just behind his head. you made sure it was noticeable, but not an obvious ploy, and called out into the nothingness, “came to save me, baby?”

maybe his overconfidence got the best of him, maybe he was too excited; doyoung knew he made the wrong decision just as he went to spin around. but it was way too late. you had already lifted your shovel, and in a split second it was creating a sickening metallic thud against his head. you could feel the vibrations flooding back up your arms and into your spine, and it felt painfully good.

you heard him let out a low, weak groan, and clicked your tongue, shaking your head then going to search for his weapon.

you found his gun in the dim flashlight beam and sighed before firing a shot into his back. it was much much louder than you had anticipated, yet you shrugged, and fired one more round into his skull—just for good measure. you stood for a moment to admire your work, then quickly recovered the casings and kicked the detective’s flimsy corpse into the hole containing your initial half-buried murder victim. it was quick work to fill the grave, a newfound energy coursing through your veins. maybe it was because this time you killed someone with a real life—someone who actually had family and friends and a job to wake up to in the morning. it filled you with anxiety, but also gave you a kind of thrill that your usual victimology had stopped giving you. the fear of getting caught was beautiful. you wanted your heart to race like that every time you made kill.

once you assured that you’d covered your tracks, you set off to find your boyfriend and give him a piece of your mind. it wasn’t too long of a walk to the jeep hidden behind a large rock and some brush, however, you weren’t sure it would even be there by the time you got back.

much to your luck, it was—engine off and lights out. you peeked into the black interior to see haechan gripping the steering wheel, his forehead pressed into the leather. it almost looked like he was crying.

with a tap on the passenger window, you held up his discarded shovel and motioned for the startled boy to unlock your door. once you had thrown your tools in the back and climbed into the passenger seat, you ignored his bloodshot eyes and flushed cheeks. mostly because he was clearly trying to hide it, but also because it caused these horrid feelings deep in the pit of your stomach and somewhere in your chest.

“so what happened?” he questioned, his voice thick with emotion though he acted unphased.

you crossed your arms, pressing against the back of the seat and looking to the window out into nothing. “i killed him, obviously.” pause. “you could have helped me, you know? hit him from behind or something.”

he sighed, palming his face and leaning his head against the headrest. “i panicked.”

“bullshit!” you tightened your crossed arms. “i could have died! and you couldn’t have cared less.”

now he was rolling his eyes and turning his body to face you. you almost flinched at the sincere regret behind his features.

“don’t hate me for this.” he whispered. “you know you would have done the same.”

there was a moment of silence that was so loud it made you wanna crawl out of your skin. you let his words soak in. he was right, obviously. you would have gone out there and arrested him yourself if it meant you were off the hook.

“yeah,” you agreed. “i would have.”

another lapse of silence came, then heachan reached over to take your hand in his own. “when i heard those gunshots, i wanted so badly to get out of the car and run to you.

“my heart felt like it was ripped out and all i wanted was to be holding your hand and saying i love you until they didn’t feel like real words anymore.”

you felt your chest tighten at his words. neither of you were ever this sappy with eachother, and honestly, it wasn’t as bad as you thought. you leaned over and pressed your lips to his, kissed him until you saw stars. you kissed away the tears that had spilled over his cheeks and giggled when he cupped your face to do the same.

“i love you so much.” you said through your happy crying.

“i love you too.” he smiled, holding your cheeks and letting his eyes wander your face. “god, my girlfriend is such a badass.”

#haechan blurb #haechan scenario #haechan timestamp #haechan request #haechan reaction #haechan crime au #donghyuck blurb #donghyuck drabble #donghyuck timestamp #nct blurb #nct au #nct 127 #nct dream

28 notes · View notes

adecila · 5 years

Text

George's thoughts on the end of GoT

The last night, the last show. After eight epic seasons, HBO’s GAME OF THRONES series has come to an end.

It is hard to believe it is over, if truth be told. The years have gone past in the blink of an eye. Can it really have been more than a decade since my manager Vince Gerardis set up a meeting at the Palm in LA, and I sat down for the first time with David Benioff and D.B. Weiss for a lunch that lasted well past dinner? I asked them if they knew who Jon Snow’s mother was. Fortunately, they did.

That was how it started. It ended last night.

I had no clue, that afternoon at the Palm, that I was about to embark on a journey that would change my life. I had optioned books and stories for television and film before. Some had even been made There was no way to know that this one was going to be different, that this pilot would not only be shot, but would go on to become the most successful show in the history of HBO, win a record number of Emmy Awards, become the most popular (and most pirated) show in the world, and transform a group of talented but largely unknown actors into major celebrities and stars. Even less did I imagine that Iwould somehow become a celebrity as well… and if truth be told, I’m still not sure how that happened.

It has been a wild ride, to say the least.

I want to thank people, but there are so many. There were forty-two cast members at the season eight premiere in New York City, and that wasn’t even all of them. And the crew, though less visible than the cast, were no less important. We had some amazing people working on this show, as all those Emmys bear witness. David & Dan assembled a championship team. The directors were incredible as well. I should start naming names, but then I’d miss someone, there were so many. But I do need to mention David Benioff, Dan Weiss, Bryan Cogman (the third head of the dragon, as I said in the recent VANITY FAIR piece about him), and of course the great team at HBO, headed by Richard Plepler. Any other network, and GAME OF THRONES would not have been what it became. Most other networks, this series never gets made at all.

I could go on and on… and have, as I’ve been writing this post in my head… but there’s really too much to say. Parting is such sweet sorrow, the Bard wrote. In the weeks and months to come, I may post about some of my favorite moments from the making of this show… now and again, when I am feeling nostalgic… but just now, there are so many memories, and no time to do them all justice.

Let me say this much — last night was an ending, but it was also a beginning. Nobody is retiring any time soon. David and Dan are going on to STAR WARS and other projects beyond that. Amazon scooped up Bryan Cogman, and put him to work on developing shows of his own, as well as helping out on their big Tolkien project. Our brilliant cast has scattered to the four winds, but you’ll be seeing a lot of them in the years to come, in all manner of television shows and movies. Our directors are keeping busy as well. I suspect that you have not seen the last of Westeros on your television sets either, but I guess that all depends on how some of these successor shows turn out.

And me? I’m still here, and I’m still busy. As a producer, I’ve got five shows in development at HBO (some having nothing whatsoever to do with the world of Westeros), two at Hulu, one on the History Channel. I’m involved with a number of feature projects, some based upon my own stories and books, some on material created by others. There are these short films I am hoping to make, adaptations of classic stories by one of the most brilliant, quirky, and original writers our genre has ever produced. I’ve consulted on a video game out of Japan. And then there’s Meow Wolf…

And I’m writing. Winter is coming, I told you, long ago… and so it is. THE WINDS OF WINTER is very late, I know, I know, but it will be done. I won’t say when, I’ve tried that before, only to burn you all and jinx myself… but I will finish it, and then will come A DREAM OF SPRING.

How will it all end? I hear people asking. The same ending as the show? Different?

Well… yes. And no. And yes. And no. And yes. And no. And yes.

I am working in a very different medium than David and Dan, never forget. They had eight hours for this final season. I expect these last two books of mine will fill 3000 manuscript pages between them before I’m done… and if more pages and chapters and scenes are needed, I’ll add them. And of course the butterfly effect will be at work as well; those of you who follow this Not A Blog will know that I’ve been talking about that since season one. There are characters who never made it onto the screen at all, and others who died in the show but still live in the books… so if nothing else, the readers will learn what happened to Jeyne Poole, Lady Stoneheart, Penny and her pig, Skahaz Shavepate, Arianne Martell, Darkstar, Victarion Greyjoy, Ser Garlan the Gallant, Aegon VI, and a myriad of other characters both great and small that viewers of the show never had the chance to meet. And yes, there will be unicorns… of a sort…

Book or show, which will be the “real” ending? It’s a silly question. How many children did Scarlett O’Hara have?

How about this? I’ll write it. You read it. Then everyone can make up their own mind, and argue about it on the internet.

Source

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #grrm #george rr martin #game of thrones #got #the winds of winter #a dream of spring

27 notes · View notes