#also thank u !! im feeling better now !!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frecklystars · 1 year

Text

I want to say real quick, again, thank you guys so much for sending me asks. The messages just keep pouring and I cannot put into words how much it means to me, how much I need them right now. I know writing messages takes energy, and half of you don’t even know me, some of you are even saying “oh I just followed you today, I hope you feel better” and!! That’s so kind!!! I fucking love you guys. Thank you for using your time and energy, choosing to write to me. I know I’m just a stranger on the internet, but across the screens, you’re helping a real breathing person heal.

I missed so many of you, even the people I only interacted with one time, like for a commission you bought from me, or maybe you wrote a nice tag on my art, I do remember you fondly. I always remember when someone is kind to me because I didn’t grow up surrounded by kind people; when I recognize acts of kindness, I really hold onto it.

To the newcomers, welcome to my blog, and I’m so sorry you’re seeing me like this. I want to say I’m not normally in such devastated state, but I’ve felt so incredibly hopeless for such a long amount of time, I’m not quite sure how to be my old self again. I’m really hoping I can heal one day, and it feels a little bit more possible because of your support. It’s so touching that there’s so many of you who are like “oh I just found your blog today and I’m sending you so much love”. You’re seeing me in such a raw, wounded state, and yet you’re still willing to extend your positivity even though you don’t know me. It means so much.

I cannot tell you how comforting it feels to open my inbox and my dms and re-read all of these messages you’re sending me. And then I’ll refresh and suddenly there will be more. I promise you I am reading every single one of them, and I am slowly but surely answering as many as I can, even if I’m so slow at it, I’m very rusty from not speaking to almost anyone for nearly 9 months lol. Not only do I feel encouraged when you’re lifting me up like this, but spending a few minutes distracting my mind from the traumatic events by focusing on reading your words, it helps to ground me. When I feel more vulnerable to flashbacks, whether it’s just that kind of day where I wake up and the wounds are reopened, or maybe I’ve been triggered by something and my emotions are raw, I’ll try to open my inbox and read your messages again, to try to ground myself. Some of you are even worried about putting content warnings onto your asks, which is so sweet. I promise you you don’t have to do that, but that’s so incredibly nice of you to even think about that. You don’t have to worry about whether your transformers URLs are going to make me flinch, or if there’s pink profile pictures, or if you mention Starscream or Knockout or Megatron or Bee or literally whomever. Just the fact that you’re being careful with me, that’s so sweet, I can’t believe how all of you, 100% of you, have taken me seriously. None of you have made fun of me, none of you have put me down for being scared -- hell, even non-self shippers have told me they support me in my journey to reclaiming the many characters I’ve lost. I think I’ve reached over 100 messages in the last three days that I’ve returned, and all of them are nothing but kind and empathetic. I’m shocked.

I really thought I was going to be in this alone. I really didn’t expect anyone to believe me. A few of M’s close friends blocked me back when she was manipulating me, and it hurt, because I didn’t even know what I had done wrong. No explanation, I had lost a few people who I thought I was close with. And it was just more fuel for her to tell me how she would think I’m special, that she would never leave me like that. I was scared that when I’d return online, everyone would shun me, that she might be spreading rumors about me (which she is known to do). But I’ve even had FIVE PEOPLE come forward in the last two days and say “I know who you’re venting about, even though you didn’t say her name, and she hurt me too. She hurts a lot of people and I’m sorry she hurt you. Don’t let her ruin Transformers for you, it’s yours.” I felt so relieved to hear I wasn’t alone, that we’re not alone, that I’m not going crazy. Thank you guys for validating my feelings.

My ask box is always open, my dms are always open (when they’re not being glitchy lol) and none of you should ever worry about “being too overwhelming” when sending messages. You’re not tiring me out, you’re not making me feel pressured to respond. You’re all making me feel seen. You can send me 500 supportive messages and I am going to read all of them. I had no idea how much I needed support until I received it. I burst into tears the first time you guys started messaging me because I was awash with relief. You’re all really helping me get onto the path of healing and I appreciate you so much. Thank you for helping me and thank you for being patient with me as I heal.

#woof #im so scared that i cant get better. but so many of you keep insisting that i WILL get better #and man i hope you're right. i cant tell you how lonely it feels without my starlight :(#that love is still deep inside of my heart somewhere... i just dont know how to find it again #but all of you supporting me is seriously helping me so so so much #...also it's 5 in the morning and i couldnt sleep bc of a nightmare fhdhfj so. here i am #reading more messages and it helps me forget the nightmare and focus more on the Support #i was so isolated and lonely for so long. only filled with the belief that im unworthy of love #that my own comfort characters would *enjoy* hurting me #and im so shocked seeing these waves of kindness from so many of you #im not used to people being nice to me bc i spent so long being with one person who hurt me repeatedly #so each time i get a new Nice Message im like. surprised all over again #ok im gonna try to go back to sleep now bc i have a bartending shift at the theater in a few hours #im so excited! i genuinely love to bartend at the theater and i love getting to watch free shows #but i wont be able to pour any drinks if i am falling asleep at the counter sdlfjsdf #the nightmare really shook me up so i might be slow to responding when im home from work #but i will try to get back to as many as i can today. u guys are so amazing. thank you.

38 notes · View notes

sillywabbits · 1 year

Note

I has gift!

Quick little doodle sketch for you! For the beloved mutual! <333

hahahahhahahahahaha >:3c

Gliiitzyyyyyyy! ✨✨✨✨💞💞 I expect a reference of *your* character in our messages sent to me pronto!! (No reason or anything! c:< )

(But in all seriousness this is 100% accurate. First thing this morning ^ This made my entire day and I'm so sorry I didn't say something sooner! I had work today and knew I wanted to thank you properly with some sort of befitting silly lil comic! I cannot thank you enough for being so, so sweet?? To see Bunny in your style is just... I... I cannot words. 💞💞💞💞💞✨✨)

#//i could literally go on and on but i actually have to go to sleeeeep fjfjfjfjf #//i could *not* stop looking at this all day and just wanted to get home and have time to thank you proper!! <3333333 #//its truly a ginormous compliment to see her in your *amazing* style #//the fact you took time to do so I- ??#//sorry im super dang sappy with my feelings #//KAY I GOTTA TO SLEEP NOW BUT THANK YOU SO *SO* MUCH AHh i wanna spam you with more loveeee #//ALSO THAT LIL DOODLE U DID OF US??? <33333333 #//for real u better send a pic of your character right now <3333 I wasn’t jokin fjfjfjfjdk #<3333333333 #sillyposts #bunart #dca #dca fandom #dca community #glitzybunny

25 notes · View notes

ilonacho · 6 months

Text

it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat

#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom #2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places #and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again #like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up #not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day!#i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation?#like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary #like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??)#but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks #and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it?#i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep #before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything #and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’#but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend #i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it #but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this #i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man #ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything #i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for #not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for #and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween #i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art #+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here)#it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this

15 notes · View notes

kimjiwoong · 9 months

Text

literally why is he having a pity party in our messages

#he asked me if i was still mad at him. and said he thinks he fucked up w me which like yeah dude u did.#so i replied sth like not to be a teacher but i was never mad. i guess i just expected better than this from u #and said that yeah he had fucked up #rose.txt #idk if he'll reply anything else. like he said he knew and he felt bad abt it but i won't reply to that #idk like suddenly he gets dumped and now we're back in rosietown?#no thanks #no matter how much i feel like i like him #because like do i wanna keep on going or do i just think i'll never get anything better?#but i also feel like im overreacting?? im confused

17 notes · View notes

stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 8 months

Note

SENDING MY FIRST ASK FROM THE NEW BLOG!!!! i feel like i am sending a letter from a new address... crazy. ANYWAY HOW R U TONIGHT!!!! i hope ur havin a good day!!!! kicking my feet like a teenager at a sleepover rn tell me abt ur day who r the blorbos in ur mind rn what kinda art r u workin on lately how's it going friend!!!

HIIIIIII HI HI . HELLO SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG- i mean catboy cellbit!!! . dude i am. dreading the coming week tbh but it is fine !! we will get thru it we will survive!!! i am so sleepytired but alas i also cannot sleep so i may just have another night of reading and music ahead of me . wah. i hope u are hsving a good night <3 IVE BEEN COMPLETELY ART NERFED TOO BTW. my laptop died on me a couple days ago and while i was able to find a new one affordably it will not be here until the 13th 😔 so no digital art from me for a while. sigh. i DID just decorate my new sketchbook with stickers tho so im hoping that will get my brain in gear for traditional art again. AS FOR BLORBOS. oh . u know. the usuals. vash the stampede. zacharie from off . masky marblehornets (also tim marblehornets) . to name three of them.

#who are ur blorbos rn. i dont watch qsmp i think sering ur posts abt it are really funny bc im like. guy walks into the room on fire gif.#i have no idea whats going on in here congratulations and/or my condolences <3 #thank u thank u i love the sleepover vibes. literally had gossip talk w one of my other friends earlier #(name withheld for reasons but if u see this u know who u are and i love u )#so the vibes are so correct #i have 2 work tomorrow :( not looking forward 2 that.#however it IS my last day of my long term overnight job which means i will be able to sleep in my own bed tomoerow night.#this is something i have not done for like. close to a month now. whcih is why ive been sleeping so awfully! so hopefully that fixes me #also have. job interview on wednesday for another aquarium place..#fingers crossed this goes better than my last one but also part of me is kind of hoping it doesnt go well #bc i hate transitional periods and i dont want 2 go thru the moving process again #and i dont want 2 meet a bunch of new ppl all at once again. and do the while job training thing.#alas that is the anxiety talkimg and i do actually want the job bc it would be good for me <3 #sorry it is late and im soooo fucking sleepy so im rambling !!!! do not feel like u have to respond to . gestures vaguely at all that #its blorbo talk time. i desperately want 2 warch more mh right now #however the house im.staying in IS in the middle of the woods and very isolated and i have been so scared and paranoid #so i am OUTTA LUCK sigh. i will simply watch smth silly instead like gg tmph or david attenborough or perhaps spongebob will b on the tv.#asks #friends!!!#false-anachronism #<< oh fuck new url!!! i got like halfway thru typing ur old one before i was like WAIT SHIT.

8 notes · View notes

cathalbravecog · 10 months

Text

Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.

before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.

definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)

and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about

because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)

and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.

and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...

and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)

some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.

it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).

like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...

anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.

it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!

but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.

it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.

not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.

there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.

this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.

one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.

i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.

every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.

i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.

why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...

i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.

like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...

not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It

like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.

there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.

but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.

#long #ramble #cathalposting #i...may delete this later i dont know. i both wanna talk to ppl i know about this #but also Do Not Percieve me. I am Afraid Of What People Think #Stay Back Foul Beasts !#alsoy eah i had other stuff to talk about...more on the negative side i guess but??? its. a bit difficult to #give and .. angstier things? negative thoughts? to a character who you see a lot of comfort in. they make you happy #they help you feel better about yourself. you want to see them happy. if theyre happy #youre happy. if theyre sad...well. you are sad. sadness is natural. its a real thing. it happens sometimes. its a part of life #and i have attached some of these things to cathal already. but a few things are hard for me to consider because of The Brain Worms.#i dont want to see him hurt either yknow.#anyways i hope you enjoyer my mental illness ramble. im not normal and you shouldve known that when you followed me #thank you for existing cathal ray toby braveswag #hey fun fact remember how i said i get tired of stuff myself easily well this whole thing made me tired. i was gonna #answer an ask but now im like. man. (melts into a puddle)#(doesnt take a break bc i need instant stimulation and makes things worse for myself)#do yall see why i like cathal so much now gamers?#ya. sorry this got personal. if any of you can handle reading this u deserve a reward.#and maybe i need to start talking about personal things this much. but whatever #this is my blog i can talk about anything and thats the COOL THING!#MWAHAHAHHAHAHA!#dies #ivegot a lot going on in my brain rn cant u tell

8 notes · View notes

happyfunf3tti · 4 months

Text

it really gets under my skin working with irritating coworkers. like imagine saying hey im not sure you should be doing this since my manager told me before not to do it 4 reasons only to be told that ur running ur mouth even though im quiet half the time at work?????

#like. this happened before.#the dude even shushed me and i never felt so dehumanized??? i dont know if thats the right word #hes just only compliant with me if i dont say anything. turns out the blue stuff wasnt just only for silverware which i was told #it doesnt go on dishes because its wasting it and its pricey. but yeah i brough this up to my manager for clarification and the dude told m #that i was running my mouth?????? dude u really see me speak. only because when i call you out for stuff like this u get angry #im gonna work long shifts on saturday now and im hoping i dont get to see his hardheaded self to work everytime #also when my coworker warned him about something he said thank you. im just gonna leave this here #edit: i forgot to post this the minute i got off work but i feel better now after talking with my family #☠️dookie.avi🎂

2 notes · View notes

stillcominback · 9 months

Text

💖💖💖

#i know i’ve been quiet but *sees last post* life’s just been a lot lately! 🤪#BUT i’m feeling a little better a day at a time #being in the office is rough but i’m hoping it’ll get a little easier as i kinda feel my feels and stuff #big thank you to all of you who’ve chatted with me or reached out or literally just been here at all #your support and kindness really means SO much to me #like always but especially right now when i’m probably the most overwhelmed i’ve ever been???#🥺🥺🥺#it’s still really hard but I’m starting to believe there’s a ‘future me’ who’s happier and more settled and onto better things #just THANK YOU to all of you for being amazing support and friends 🥺💖#AND PLS i may not be at my best rn as far as reaching out but #plsssss feel free to hmu on IMs or discord because i’d love to still plot and chat!! i miss it!#I’m also happy to write on discord (or do little things on the ic wires I have!)#ANYWAY!! off to bed I gooooo 🛌💖 LOVE U ALL MWAH #00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )

4 notes · View notes

cetoddle · 1 year

Text

girl it’s storming !!

#actually #today was a pretty good day :]#i hope nothing bad happens now…#but omg i felt a lot better abt driving once i was i was out and about #i found some dresses and another skirt which was exciting !!#i also found the fries strawberries i was looking for !#then i picked up my job application. idk if i’m gonna apply after all cause it seemed like a. questionable establishment #but at least i have the application i guess #then i got my ears pierced again!! it went rlly well !!#i LOVE the piercer there she’s so sweet and nice and funny #im a little in love with her what about it huh #and i love the owner too she’s super nice and kept calling me cute and adorable which was nice :]#i went to the library and picked up a couple books i’ve been wanting to read #and i got my coffee !#i didn’t end up staying cause i was tired after all that #but at least i went. and now i feel braver about going back someday #and then i went home #and now it’s storming #good day 👍🏻#thank u universe #snow.txt

5 notes · View notes

skyteglad · 9 months

Text

i had a bad take on an aita because i’m… not super clear-headed rn so just to like, give context in case anyone checks my blog for whatever reason: i’m not allo, i’ve got a lotta trauma and because of some intense dissociation shit have a fluctuating level of attraction (sexual, romantic, and even platonic) to ppl i’m close to due to feeling massive disconnect. i was speaking also out of my own issues of avoidance when a relationship is strained (a tactic learned from trauma) and not out of any malice. i’m genuinely so sorry if anyone got hurt hy my comment, promise y’all it wasn’t me being an ignorant aphobic allosexual - i’m just going through some shit rn and had a bad take

#riot.txt #aLSO sorry if this is traumadumpy or excusing or smth #its just for context #i AM really sorry n i feel bad for making anyone feel bad for being ace :(#I REALLY GOTTA UHHH maybe not respond to aita rn bc i got triggered yesterday from it and😩 fuck man… gotta step back #didnt realize how bad my advice-giving would be til now actually so genuinely thank u to the person who pointed that out #IK U BLOCKED ME (pls do u dont deser e feelin hurt) BUT JIC U DO SEE LIKE.z #THANK U AND IM SO SORRY fh gh fu anyways back to the scheduled bloggimg im gonna take a step away from the aita blog for a bit til mu brai #brain cam help ppl better n clearer 💖

5 notes · View notes

milo-is-rambling · 1 year

Text

I forget how much I hate the taste of vodka but the whipped cream vodka is so much better my god

#make a drink sweet enough that you can’t taste it when it’s in ur mouth and then all u get is the whipped cream vodka in the burn #makes drinks more tolerable #also this is the fastest I think I’ve ever chugged an alcoholic drink #we are gonna get fucked up tonight bc we have daddy issues and fought with our mom this morning slayyy #smoked a cigarette at the lake now getting fucked up in my room while home alone #life is so good and it’s all bullshit forever #literally we could all die and it doesn’t matter and life is weird and crazy and I am happy it sucks and I am so fucking thrilled to be aliv #at all #life is good regardless of death but I wish death would just like wait patiently for my family #dad I miss u I hope you had a good four twenty where ever you ended up. im sorry moms acting like this. I hope my brothers okay at school.#I hope he’s having a good time and isn’t completely overwhelmed with everything. I was right and apparently he’s gonna come home after grad #uation and im excited to have him home again but my mothers all upset. I know it sucks that you’re dead but it’s nice knowing in a weird way #that you’re the reason me and hunter got close again. so thanks I guess for that. and smoking made me and mom grow closer. idk. you’ve done #a lot for us and most of it had to do with weed. today hurt worse than my birthday. or the six month anniversary. today sucked. and no one #else seemed to be torn apart by it and it made me feel like I was going crazy and no one could even tell #you would’ve noticed if I was acting different. I love you. wherever you are I still love you. and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a bitch.#and I wish I took better care of you. but you were my father I wasn’t supposed to take care of you. you should’ve been there for me. we shou #have been there for mom and hunter and your parents and I’ve been thinking a lot about grammie actually. I don’t know how I feel. thinking #about her makes me cry now. I don’t have the heart to make her cry talking about my childhood but I miss her. and I miss being young. I miss #you coming to my Father’s Day dance recitals and coming back from bike week in Laconia and bringing me flowers always wearing your grey #Harley Davidson jacket and you’d have flowers in your arms and you’d be bored but so proud and you’d hug me and you’d smell like weed and #your beard was always scratchy when you’d hug me and I just miss you a lot. I miss you and I fucking hate you for it fuck.#note to self. don’t be pmsing and then get drinking and smoking and thinking of your dead father. you will cry

4 notes · View notes

the-girl-who-cried-wolf · 10 months

Note

I wasn't planning on reblogging the other ask because I'm embarrassed about the drawing but then I read your tags and was like: woah...

I told you about that day, I recall I described it as: I woke up today and my heart was hungry for something more. And you're so right, you got it exactly right. First of all, that fic sounds amazing. I have been reading a lot of fanfiction too lately, due to shortage of free time, but it's also a way to satisfy the yearning and daydreaming which sounds sick but it's really true, and I wish it wasn't that bad.

"Like it's painful sometimes but it's the very thing that's keeping us alive" <- this here got me, because I haven't been able to put into words!

When I wake up with this intense feeling, I feel like maybe I should take a step back (from whatever it is that's feeding these emotions, making them thrive), but then I'd feel such ache, like I have to consume whatever it is that could make me feel something, to relax, to stop this feeling from being so intense. It's a loop. I am literally so tired of it but I also love feeling it? I could curse it a thousand times but lowkey wait for the emotions to hit.

I don't know this is embarrassing for me and maybe I am delusional. [Stoned at the nail salon kinda feeling].

Have a great night/day, full of insanity 🫶

yeah i understand that! fanfic really is one of those niche things that just Helps So Much, even if it can almost become... can i say addictive? that's the only word coming to mind rn. like there's nothing else that quite fills that hole inside your heart, right? apart from music, maybe. (that's how it feels for me anyway.)

I've been trying to make more time for other hobbies and creative outlets lately, mainly drawing and painting, to try and focus more on creating things rather than just consuming fic after fic but there's so many good fics out there! i want to read them all!

and don't worry mais, i'm also delusional. i get it <3

(also i found the fic i was quoting! this one; a marvel fic from yelena's pov. i would recommend any and every fic by this author if your interested in marvel fics! i've been slowly reading my way through their ao3 page and i love all them so muchhhhh.)

#definitely stoned at the nail salon vibes for sure #like yeah maybe we did figure out the meaning of life !! but we're also just a pair of crazy girls that love the worlds in our heads <3 #and the worlds in OTHER people's head too <3 #and thank u i am having a great day full of insanity 🥰 currently vibing hard to friday im in love by the cure as i type this #it's RAINING i went out for BRUNCH earlier and it's been a GOOD day so far #i hope yours is even better 💜💜💜 ILY #mais <3 #ask #why can't i remember if ur into marvel or not #i have a feeling u are #at least a little bit #ANYWAYS #that ao3 profile has been feeding my sambucky obsession for MONTHS now <3333

3 notes · View notes

mrs-kelly · 1 year

Note

🎊 CONGRATS ON GETTING MARRIED, AGAIN!! 🎊

hehe. really, though! i am so happy for you and for charlie! i never actually told you this, but the first episode you watched of always sunny was the first one i ever saw, too! i remember my friend showed it to me and i couldn't stop laughing at the absurdity of it. charlie is so sweet, though, and he's so perfect for you. i hope that your relationship continues to be as fulfulling and romantic as it was the first time you married. i'll be cheering to you, forever!

-@sunshine-sunderland

@sunshine-sunderland oh thank you Ro!! <3 heehee if all goes as planned I'll probably marry Charlie a thousand times, but that's the beauty of what we have <3 and i'll treasure every time as if it's the first <3

that's so funny that that was the first episode you ever saw too!! it's honestly one of the best even apart from Charlie's part in it <3 it's very absurd and a perfect introduction to the show! but it's also just a rly good intro to who Charlie is too, and i feel like it makes so much sense that i came out of that episode with a crush on him afjkdsl

thank u for saying we're perfect together <3 i think we are too! oftentimes i believe that with f/o's, and I only find evidence to the contrary. but with Charlie, the more I see of him, the more we feel like a perfect pair 🥰 the longer we're together, the more right it feels <3 im certain that our relationship will only continue to blossom in all the best ways!

We appreciate your support so much Ro!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤ thank u again!! ❤

#i will literally marry him again and again and again <3 #maybe my attitude towards f/o marriage is a little different to the norm #but i always use it to express how much my f/o means to me <3 #and sometimes that means i have to marry them again! and again!#and Charlie is rly the only one i've done that with; without a breakup or something in between DJSKL #i just feel like things have changed so much since we first got married and i wanna usher in those new feelings and new promises!#thank u so much ro <3 #also i love that you've seen night.man cometh FJSDKL it's been like. my comfort episode of any show for years #sometimes i didn't even watch it but id just think of it and feel better asjfklds #charlie's proposal song has been something i sing to put a smile on my face for almost 6 years now :3 #and it makes me rly happy to know you know what im talking about JDSAKL #ren speaks #renlie #ro tag

5 notes · View notes