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#also the book i read was the symptoms of being human and i loved it a lot in case anyone was wondering
lazywriters-blog · 2 months
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QUIET + QUIET = NAUGHTY
YANDERE ALHAITHAM
Summary: Alhaitham used to be your mentor, and after leaving him behind and pursuing another career, he finds a way to bind you to him. [This was sitting in my drafts for so long that I decided to just publish it so if it's bad, my bad lol.]
Warning: This may contain triggering content, read at your discretion. Implied rape, forced pregnancy, and manipulation. Alhaitham is a piece of shit in this-
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You had a dream that didn't feel like one.
Your mind is clear and you remember something was amiss the night you fell asleep, so you are certain whatever glimpse you recall was truthful. You could never imagine yourself having a wet dream about someone you disapproved of.
Despite the man's appearance attracting you to him, there's just something about him you don't like. Perhaps sitting here and watching him read his book made you a crazed fangirl, but you were a decent human being with decent expectations.
And alhaitham was one exception you'd avoid till the end, even with the tolerance level you had, he went past above and beyond that.
Seeing him so far away from you felt odd, having a realistic dream was different but feeling it and knowing you felt it was different! You couldn't make up such fantasies even if you wanted to. You did not invite him into your dreamland and never would, he's the type of man with stoic feelings and selfishness with good reasons for it.
You also had a hate-love relationship with the scribe, he's an asshole who nagged you to do everything perfectly when you were in front of him and made you feel unqualified. You'd admit you weren't good, but the humiliation was taking it a bit too far when he'd speak loud and clear for everyone to hear and think about it.
You aren't a failed test subject to show.
Nonetheless, you had forgotten about it and moved on to a better place in life, so his abrupt existence was cutting it too close.
But, trying to talk to him just seemed wrong. Comforting him seemed childish, and unnecessary when you could live on with the fact you had a wet dream about him, but past that, he's close to an enemy to you.
He closed his book and settled it on the table, folding his arms and glancing straight toward you, so he knew you were here. Copying his position you glared, feeling something nasty within you grow and you had no shame in expressing that to the man.
Grinning wide, you tilted your head and quietly mouthed 'Fuck you.' briefly pulling up your hand and pointing a middle finger, throwing him one last look you got up and walked away.
If that incident earned you a bad reputation, you knew exactly who was behind it.
The next sign you discovered that your dream wasn't as fake as you made it out to be, was when you woke up nauseous and threw up, you figured it was a mash of bad food combination that made you queasy.
And denial was hard, how were you going to explain it even if it was true? 'I think it has something to do with the wet dream I had with my enemy and I think I'm pregnant?' just thinking about it you feel delusional you couldn't fathom how crazy you would sound to the others, you weren't lost in the head.
You had your toes on solid ground and weren't making stuff up on thin air, nor because you were living alone and thinking having a new member would cure it.
You'd never be that desperate.
"You are showing clear symptoms of pregnancy." He's saying it and you don't like the tone of his voice, he's saying it to get revenge for your past interaction, you are sure.
"Your skin is glowing, and the bump you are trying to hide isn't doing much," he added, like salt to a wound. You forced a smile, thinking to yourself that staying indoors today would have been so much better than facing him in all his selfish glory.
"And would you happen to know who did it?" You sniped back, "How do you even know that I've gotten fat unless you've been watching me, pervert, learn to lower your eyes."
"It shouldn't take a genius to know that a woman is carrying a child. It's a blessing you're hiding."
"You're saying it as if it's your child." she would know after years of suffering under him, that he would make her the fool and him the trustworthy one, and she didn't want to give him a chance. So if he wants to play dumb, she'll cut him open.
He chuckled, a rare gesture from him she saw only once, "Should we have a paternity test?" why did he sound so smug and certain?
"Is this your indirect way of saying that I'm crazy? That you impregnated me?" he stayed quiet and satisfied, all the trouble he was causing her and the damage it would bring to her reputation was unnerving, he was doing it on purpose. She was sure!!
"You are a monster." She could strangle him right now if they weren't in public.
He smiled, not breaking eye contact and continuing to maintain it. "Who would believe you?"
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How the Obey Me brothers react to you telling them you’re pregnant
Hello! It’s me again. Honestly I didn’t think anyone would ever read let alone like my other post but here we are. Here is another post, I hope you all like it!
CW: pregnancy
Mc doesn’t have a specific gender
Lucifer
Lucifer was surprised but not shocked. He knew something was going on with you, being the observant boyfriend he was. He noticed the way you turned away some foods, the way you started to get sick each morning and how sluggish you felt throughout the days. Lucifer stood and wrapped his arms around you, grabbing you by the small of your waist and placed a kiss on the top of your head. “I promise to be the best father. I won’t let either of you down.” Call Lord Diavolo after your talk. “They're going to need some time off from RAD for a while… and I will too when they're born.” Spends his days between paperwork, taking care of you, and building a brother proof nursery. (Uncle Diavolo will also try to buy many things for the baby but Lucifer refuses some of it because it’s “Too much”)
Mammon
Mammon was stuck dumb #1 the moment you announce your pregnancy. It took him a moment to register what you said. ‘Mc’s pregnant… they're having a baby… my baby... that makes me a dad!’ He screamed as soon as realization hit him he rushed towards you at full speed stopping before he ran into you. His hands ghosed around your stomach as if touching you would hurt you. “Really!? Are ya sure!? Like sure sure!?” “Yes, I’m sure Mammon.” He started crying, unable to contain his happiness. “I’ll take care of ya, both of ya! Your first man won’t let you down!” Buys so many things for the baby, all expensive and flashy. You have to be the one to stop this. He loves to put his head on your stomach.
Leviathan
Struck dumb #2. But when realization hit him he fell off his chair. (Classic anime moment) After he got up off the floor he started questioning you. “Are you sure!?” “This isn’t some prank you’re pulling on me right!?” It made you feel a bit bad that he would question it but after you confirmed everything he simply stared at you. “Do you really want to have a baby with a yucky otaku like me?” You take some time to reassure him that you do and then he looks at you with slightly teary eyes “I’m happy that you want to have my baby. I promise to help you any way I can.” He seeks Satan in order to learn more about pregnancy and about children as well. Accidentally looked up a video of a birth and is now scared for you. He won’t tell you about it though, he doesn’t want to scare you. “Can we name them Henry!?”
Satan
“I know” Satan could tell from the moment you started to show symptoms. He’s read far too many human anatomy and medical books to not know, but he wanted you to have the courage to tell him. A true gentleman doesn’t take that moment away. He put the book he was reading down and slowly walked towards you. “It’s okay. I’ll be here the entire time. If you drop something, I'll pick it up. If you need to talk, I'll listen. If you want a hug, my arms are open.” He wrapped his arms around you softly. “I’m here.” He will be the most supportive partner ever when it comes to your pregnancy. Any symptoms you have will be researched and he’ll help ease them. He’ll read so many baby and parenting books in order to prepare. (Buys a cat onsie for the baby)
Asmodeus
He doesn't believe you. With the amount of people he has done ‘The Deed’ with there have been some who tried to lie in order to get something from him. It’s not until you take a pregnancy test infront of him that he takes it seriously. “Oh. My. Gosh. You’re really pregnant!? We’re going to have the most beautiful baby ever!” Incredibly excited but also really nervous. He’s never been the type to want children and he’s scared that people who are jealous of your relationship will try to hurt you. But rest assured he won’t let them. He will buy you all the best clothes to show off your bump though and show you off on all his social media accounts.
Beelzebub
He’s so happy! He’s always wanted to have a family with you and now it’s all coming true. But there's also some worry. He knows he’s a big guy and you’re small, so much smaller than him. He’s worried you might get hurt but he’s determined to protect you. Anything you need during the pregnancy he will get, no matter what. Every craving food will be there and he will give you puppy eyes so you’ll give him some. (Plz let him have a peice, he wants to know what kind of food the baby likes) A plus of him being the father though is that he doesn’t mind you getting up to pee at night, I mean he gets up alot for food so he gets it.
Belphagor
Was half asleep when you told him. “That’s great… Come cuddle with me.” You have to repeat it one or two more times before it sinks in. “…what do you mean you’re pregnant? …Like there’s actually a baby in there?” He sits there processing what he just heard before he gets up only to drag you into bed with him. Gently, he puts his arms around your waist and his head to your stomach. “I guess we’ll be a family now huh…? Don’t worry, I won’t let either of you go” The best person to go to when you can’t sleep due to the baby. Has all the pillows and comfort Items. He thinks your baby bump is the cutest thing ever but doesn’t like that it takes his lap space away.
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beguines · 1 month
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would you be able to recommend any books/resources that provide a good intro to anti-psychiatry? rlly fascinated by this subject
to be clear, i wouldn't describe myself as explicitly anti-psychiatry. people very close to me rely on psychiatric medication in order to relieve symptoms that aren't just disruptive to their role in capitalist society but cause them immense suffering in general. while i have had particularly negative experiences with psychiatric medication, i have also seen it save people's lives and pull them out of acute crisis. i've been seeing a therapist for four years who has had a very positive effect on my life and has always been respectful of my refusal to take psychiatric medication.
i also think it is necessary to acknowledge that while psychiatry and psychology are disciplines that enforce capitalist hegemony, the alternative to being capable of functioning within capitalist society isn't much of an alternative at all when capitalism's inescapability is part of its very nature. that being said, i think it's extremely important for anyone living with mental illness, being treated for it, or supporting someone who is to be aware of:
the insufficiency of the biomedical/disease model and the very slow speed at which the field is moving away from it
the inability of medical professionals to identify the etiology of any mental illness
the immense risk associated with virtually all psychiatric medications (particularly antipsychotics and mood stabilizers)
the very profitable marriage between psychiatry and the pharmaceutical industry
the influence of western (and particularly american) hegemony over how we treat what we call mental illness
the prevalence of coercive/forced treatment
i also think it's extremely important within that context to do your own research and ensure that you're engaging with material from a variety of different sources, maintaining an awareness of any biases they may have and how those affect their research and conclusions, whether they skew towards anti-psychiatry or not. the most important thing to do if you or your loved one has any kind of illness is to be well-informed and capable of advocacy, which is largely why i've been doing a bit of a deep dive on the subject lately.
what i'm reading now:
desperate remedies: psychiatry's turbulent quest to cure mental illness by andrew scull
psychiatric hegemony: a marxist theory of mental illness by bruce m.z. cohen
psychiatry in crisis: at the crossroads of social sciences, the humanities, and neuroscience by vincenzo di nicola and drozdstoj stoyanov
other recommendations:
i think your best bet for more introductory material would be robert whitaker's work, including anatomy of an epidemic: magic bullets, psychiatric drugs, and the astonishing rise of mental illness in america and mad in america: bad science, bad medicine, and the enduring mistreatment of the mentally ill. he started an organization called mad in america which has a lot of resources and information, including a podcast of the same name. there's also a network of associated groups that are based in different areas of the world if you're interested in non-american perspectives.
the medicalization of society: on the transformation of human conditions into treatable disorders by peter conrad
on the heels of ignorance: psychiatry and the politics of not knowing by owen whooley
here is a link to some of the old icarus project zines and pamphlets. i was briefly involved with a small icarus group when i was younger and there were some serious issues with the (dis)organization and some of the principles upon which the local groups operated. i'm sure these still have some useful and/or interesting information, and if nothing else they're interesting relics from the anti-psychiatry movement in the early 2000s. i'm less familiar with some of the newer work they put out before their dissolution in 2020. here is an article on the history of icarus from one of the co-founders, published in 2014.
i would recommend looking into bioethics and biopolitics in general, particularly focault. if you want to get into any of the seminal figures in anti-psychiatry (laing, szasz, etc), i would personally advise a very critical reading of their work. as always, this is not an explicit endorsement of any of these works, authors, or their respective viewpoints.
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genderfluid-info-blog · 2 months
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Hi can you recommend something with genderfluid characters to play/watch/read ? (Plz i know 1 game , 2 films ,2 weebtoons and like 3 books with us in them I'm starving )
Hi, thank you for this ask, I'm sorry I took so long to answer! Sadly there isn't a lot of representation for us genderfluid folks in the media, but I tried my best to compose a list (keep in mind that I haven't read/seen all of these, so some of the representation might not be the best, sorry about that!!):
Books with genderfluid characters:
Alex Fierro (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard triology)
Sallot Leon (Mask Of Shadows, main character)
Lua Novak (At the Edge of the Universe)
Riley Cavanaugh (Symptoms of Being Human, main character)
Harley (The Heartbreak Bakery, main love interest)
Carey (Can't Take That Away, main character)
Ash (Both Can Be True, main character)
Comics with genderfluid characters:
Rose (A Boy Named Rose, main character)
Yasel (Always Human)
Prince Sebastian (The Prince and the Dressmaker, main character)
Loki (Loki: Agent of Asgard, main character (much better representation than in the show!!))
Kitty (Lemonade Summer)
Shows with genderfluid characters:
Sabi (Sort Of, main character)
Loki (Loki, main character, but the genderfluid representation was sadly very little and dissatisfying)
Crowley & Aziraphale (Good Omens, angels & demons are canonically genderless beings but in my opinion there is a lot of genderfluid representation in the show, you can also read the book if you want to!)
Val/entina Romanyszyn (Gen:Lock)
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worriedvision · 9 months
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Historically unfortunate in love - Alhaitham
Gender neutral reader, reader is a book. Angst. I know, it's an odd idea, but the idea is that there's this book known for having romance as it's genre, but the book is also known for causing dreams where the reader shows up. Alhaitham takes an interest in this, curious as to what you were. Chaos ensues. There is not a happy ending here, I'm afraid.
--
"Haven't you heard? That book is haunted!"
"My friend tried to read it, but they freaked out when a scary person showed up on their dreams."
"Hasn't that book been around for decades? More than that."
These rumours, and more, spread about you all the time. Your author had been plagued by an unhealthy attachment to you, to the point they found a way to speak to you in their dreams. As odd as it was, it quenched her loneliness.
But since she died, you were still there. Whenever someone picked you up, you'd appear in their dreams until someone else touched your cover. It was nice at first, meeting people, but you hated the fact they'd keep talking about the romance in your pages. People thought you, somehow, could make their hopes of requited love true. After a few decades, you could not bare it any longer.
So, you made yourself as terrifying as possible. People realised you had no patience left for their love problems, the envy over being used and not talked to like your original owner did being a likely culprit, and the rumour changed to you being so terrifying that you weren't worth reading.
Alhaitham heard from these rumours about you, and he felt like he had nothing better to do. He decides to look into you, taking in the contents of your pages, while also interviewing you.
The first night, he could tell you were trying to be scary. That you couldn't really do anything, positive or negative, towards him. You bulk yourself up, but you can't scare him off. He merely sits there, observing you, and you realise that he's different. He isn't there for a romantic reason, he's not there for some entertainment reason.
He asks you about your origins, your author, what you know about your contents. Over time, he grew more interested in you as a person. You grew to trust him and, you realise, you feel romantic feelings for him. Some pages he mentions to you, it feels like they're happening. Those tight feelings, those warm sensations, the stupid smile your face had.
You were scared of it. You knew he couldn't touch you physically, your form was not physical, and he was an attractive man. You knew that, one day, you would lose him to someone who could give him what you couldn't.
So, you hide from him. You expect him to move on, to see that you aren't showing yourself and his experiment would be over.
Nope, he seems to understand this follows the story you are in. You grow distant after showing symptoms of falling in love, and he would persist.
So, he tells you about himself. His grandmother, his job, anything he could he would do.
--
"I didn't take you to be a reader of romance." Kaveh chuckles, spying the book.
Alhaitham tuts, taking the book away before Kaveh can take you away. He walks away, Kaveh realising that whatever you were, Alhaitham grew to like you.
Unfortunately, this does not last.
--
"Please leave." You cry out, Alhaitham not able to find you. "This isn't a good idea, you know this."
"There is no evidence to-"
"No, you are a human being. I know you'll leave."
Those were the last words you said to him. He tried his hardest to call out to you, to tell you how close he felt to you, but nothing worked. Upon reading the rest of the book, his heart sinks as he reads the final chapter.
Your author ended the story with the relationship burning out, the love interest dying in a house fire and the twist being that you were a living possession of the man who loved you. The man comes to terms with the fact you are not real, and he falls in love with someone who ticked all of his boxes.
This must have been the hypothesis of you gifting your reader their desired outcome. People didn't seem to finish reading your story, and the next time he visits you, you know he's finished reading you.
--
"Burn me. End my suffering." You stare coldly, Alhaitham opening his mouth in horror.
He didn't want to lose you, he didn't give a damn if you were real or if you were simply a dream.
"If you cannot burn me, you have to find someone who can."
No, this isn't right! He didn't want to burn you, he hated the idea of you just, being gone. He didn't understand why you were created, but he understands why he likes dreaming so often.
He enjoys his time with you. He looks forward to sleeping, and not solely because he can escape the people that drain him socially. You don't hear any of it, it was as if your creator made this script for you when someone finally finished your story and stuck with you.
He wakes up crying that morning, Kaveh noting his change in demeanor. Alhaitham hands him the book, unable to carry out your only wish, and he tells Kaveh to sleep at that moment.
--
"Are you _? Alhaitham seems to like you very much." Kaveh explains, you decide to show your form and nod in reply. "...Do you really desire an end? Alhaitham cherishes you, which is something I didn't think possible for him."
"I envy him. I can't hold him, and he can find a person to hold." You explain. "It's too much for me. My creator made me in a moment of selfishness, and people keep using me until they get what they desire."
"Alhaitham is a different man." Kaveh explains. "He isn't one for socialising unless entirely necessary."
Unfortunately, that only makes you feel even more sure you wish to be burned. You realise from Kaveh's statement that Alhaitham wouldn't be able to stand you if you somehow became human. You hate this constant cycle with people where you wish to form a physical connection but cannot.
"...I'll fulfill your wish, in return for one thing." Kaveh starts. "I am allowed to give the ashes from your book to Alhaitham."
You suppose there wasn't going to be anyone else willing to risk breaking the law for your own wishes, you observed from being classed as a relic of sorts. You nod, Kaveh looking particularly sad when he realises, completely, that you were truly fed up with being used and thrown away.
"For what it's worth.... Alhaitham truly loves you."
--
When Kaveh burns the book, he calls Cyno to join him to explain the situation. It sounded rather bizarre, however Cyno was understanding enough to know that Kaveh wouldn't make this up, and he did note Alhaitham looks a lot happier than usual. He prepares the bonfire, along with a jar to place your charred pages into once it was completed.
To say Alhaitham was devastated, realising you were gone, was an understatement. He hated sleeping now, knowing for a fact you weren't there, and the charred remains in the jar were the proof you were gone. Your creator was cruel for creating you, Alhaitham couldn't help but recognise. Who makes a book sentient to the point they wish they were human? He didn't know the answer for that question to satisfy his desire for your rest, you must have been miserable up until you felt the flames against your paper, finally feeling the release from this prison you were born in.
Does he move on like the book stated? No. He carries your jar around wherever he can, creating a pouch big enough for you, and whenever someone tried to tease him for it or touch it, he would glare at them. Those stupid enough to try and steal the jar were met with a swift punch to the stomach, catching you before you could hit the ground.
Try as he might, he knew he would have a hold on his heart once filled with you.
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caffeinetheif · 1 year
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Brothers and dateables (+Luke if ya want) platonic, how would they react/treat an mc with a chronic illness and/or chronic pain?
Gn Mc please :)
Thanks for the request! Super sorry for the late post. I started on this then saved it to drafts and completely forgot it was in there rip. I'm planning on making the Datable's their own post for this request and previous ones so people don't have to scroll through an entire post trying to find the one they want.
Brothers With an MC with Chronic Pain
AN: I tried keeping it as platonic/vague as possible
GN! MC
Warnings: brief mentions of chronic pain but not explained in detail
Lucifer
As much as he wants to keep his concern under wraps, he doesn't hide his actions very well. Concerned glances or regular check-ins. Eventually, he gets over himself and just tells you to take it easy and rest regularly. He will demand that you tell him what chores make the pain worse so he can assign them to his brothers.
Has a multitude of pain killers on him at all times. Claims it's so you don't have to leave for the nurse's during class (but really it's because he doesn't like seeing you in so much pain and so he has an excuse to see you throughout the day.)
Mammon
He'll be like a helicopter, constantly hovering and making sure you're comfortable. He'll do anything you ask, just tell him what to do
He definitely has the devildom version of WebMD pulled up and looking up your symptoms of pain. Several times he's called Solomon (because he's the only other human) or Satan (because he's smart) because he has worked himself into a tizzy.
Leviathan
He tries his best. He wants you to be comfy so he offers you his bed/tub and gets so flustered when you mention it might make it worse. It's the thought that's cute though.
He will do anything you ask him to (simp) because he loves you and wants you to not be in pain. He'll be constantly checking in because he's so worried.
Satan
He would be one of the most rational about your pain. With how much he reads and how many books are in his collection, he has a ton of knowledge about different conditions at his disposal. You might need to tell him that the older books (e.g. medical books from hundreds of years ago) aren't the most relaible anymore.
He definitely researches to see which medication or Devildom equivalent would work best for your chronic pain. He'll even make sure it's the correct dosage for your needs.
Asmodeus
Like Mammon, he'd work himself into a tizzy, but he deals with his anxiousness about your health much better. He makes lists of what you use for the pain so he can have them in his room too so you can use them when you stay in his room.
His room will be the ultimate safe haven of chronic pain. Heating pads? Check. Muscle relaxers and pain killers? Check. Supportive pillows for your back, knees, or feet? He's got them all. He also fusses over you a little and does little check-in texts through the day.
Beelzebub
Beel will be the most clueless about what to do if I'm being completely honest. You will need to explain to him that your chronic pain isn't something that goes away like his muscle soreness after a workout or Fangol game. The sweet demon will ask you to tell him more about it so he can better understand
Because he plays Fangol, he'll have ice and heating packs around his room that he'll gladly let you use. He hates seeing you in pain and discomfort, but he isn't sure what exactly will make it better. He'll offer to carry you from one location to another if you mention needing to go somewhere.
Belphegor
He has fluffy blankets and pillows on stand by if you want them. Also has a heating pad that he sleeps with occasionally, but he would willingly give it to you if it helps with your pain
If it's a super bad day, he'll just laydown next to you. If you tell him that you need something, like pain killers, he will get up and go get them and a bottle of water without complaint.
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ok, if you can stomach absurd amounts of gore, horror, death, i think i should say gore twice, body horror, religious trauma, implied s/a and post apocalypse i need you to go read hell followed with us rn. best book i have read in fucking years. i literally just got it last night and finished it that night. here are the pros:
what if body horror was related to the trans experience. what then.
the gore is described so naturally. cant describe it perfectly but god the gore feels as natural as weeds sticking up between cracks in the sidewalk.
this is also a case where imo body horror is used properly and it isnt just "what if.. deformities!! ooh spooky!!" its the horror of being changed against your will and the horror of pain and the horror of loosing yourself and the hope of taking that back.
two seperate characters who use neo pronouns!!!
erin, trans girl!!!! love her
love interest is autistic and shows symptoms of autism and thats ok and good, actually.
RAGE!!! RAGE IS GOOD AND YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING ANGRY!!
they represent the feeling of being loved/worshipped in a way thats too much so so so good it made me physically sick. having them who you dont know grab at you, like you are so beautiful they can only plea to touch you, to have you. looking at you like you are the most beautiful cattle.
set in future but politics feels.. chillingly similar to what were experiencing rn. genuinely thought some quotes were real or this was based off a real group for a moment till i saw the date 2025. only difference is that its more ecofascist.
the body horror never makes anyone inherently unloveable. even with flesh tearing and teeth nashing and too many eyes and blood where organs once were you can be human. you can be loved.
terrifying but hopeful. they are dead but we are alive.
HYSTERICAL insults to kalvin garrah in this shit. make an entire character to say fuck him.
the inherently disabled horror of having your body and mind fail on you against your will and the hope of never being the same but surviving.
also the disabled horror of having your body taken from you and changed and twisted for others betterment. to be a martyr by sake of suffering.
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betterfettered · 1 year
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a request 🥹
mc gets chained and abused as a lesson, how would the brothers and/or the others react when they lose their will to fight back and start to romanticize/stockholm their situation?
yea i'm good thanks for asking hhhh
The second part of your ask:
how would the brothers react if stockholm mc decides to stop eating as much so they'll look more pretty, dainty, abuseable, not have the strengh to fight back? would they encourage it, be greatful, not care at all or tell them to eat more?
I can answer this for ya, though I would like to say that regardless of your size, reader, you are pretty, dainty and abusable just the way you are 💖💖 I also don't mean any of the below to mean that any of the brothers wouldn't like fat darlings or anyone of a particular body type. As a fat girl I would never betray my audience in that way 🫡 Let me know if I missed any TWs
(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere)(Disordered eating)(pro eating disorder attitudes)(violence against reader)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[This is fetish content and abuse is disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]
Yandere!Lucifer would not mind at all if your will to fight back disappeared. In his eyes, it means you have learned your lesson and won't be foolishly disobedient anymore. He will probably give you more privileges because of it. The starving yourself, he would not approve of. He decides what you eat, how much of it, and when, so he'd tell you to knock it off.
Yandere!Mammon would at first like your new attitude because it means he can do whatever he likes with you, but then it would start to bother him. I think he actually likes the banter the two of you get into, so seeing how deflated you are now would make him kind of sad. He'd probably try to act goofier to make you laugh and chide him. The not eating, Mammon wouldn't see a problem with a first, just thinking youre on a harsh diet (which isnt abnormal in his social circles because hes a model), but once you started showing physical symptoms like being faint, sallow skin, shaking hands, brain fog, he would tell you to stop it and eat more. He might do this in a snarky way to hide that he feels bad for the role he played in your becoming like this.
Yandere!Levi has more experience with two dimensional people than real people, so I don't think he'd quite understand how bad things were getting for a long time. He'd see you losing the will to fight as making you more sweet and gentle, and make you dress up in frilly lacy pink things like docile characters in whatever he's reading/watching. He also would probably agree with you that it increases how dainty you seem for you to eat less, remarking on how you're like a doll that only he gets to play with. He wouldn't notice until your symptoms got much, much worse that there's a problem, and I think it would probably take him asking one of his brothers (in a poorly disguised hypothetical) to figure out exactly what's wrong.
Yandere!Satan doesn't just want you to be docile, he wants complete and active submission. Saying that to say, he doesn't just want you to nod when he's talking to you, he wants you to kneel and bow until your head touches the floor. If you are submissive in that way, he will love it. If you're not, he'd be irritated and you can expect more abuse until you get it right. Once you start eating less, though, he'd probably consult with some books on humans to figure out what has gone wrong with his. Eventually he'd find some stuff about the physical impacts of eating less and the psychology of the way you're behaving. Then start trying to unwilt you the way someone does to a plant, so he'd take you outside on walks on a leash, play music for you, let you talk to one person a day (humans are social creatures, after all) and tell you to eat more. If you refuse to eat he will make you eat by force.
Yandere!Asmo won't like that you're more docile because to him it would feel like you're less attentive. He likes when you're outgoing and opinionated, he wants you to be fully present with him (and only him) and reactive. He'd assume you're kind of depressed so he'd take you to do fun stuff to try and cheer you up, like shopping and amusement parks and spas. With the not eating, I think Asmo subscribes to diet culture in general because of some lines of dialogue he has, including a couple about dieting himself, so he probably wouldn't even give you not eating a second thought. He may give you a compliment or two. I think he would be another who needs someone else to point out that it's becoming an issue.
Yandere!Beel would not like that you are romanticizing the situation because to him the way that he restricts and sometimes abuses you is a means to an end, where you can be a happy family together and you won't try to run away any more LOL He would try and tell you that he's not really like that so you don't need to get used to it, and when you seem comfortable while restrained he would be sad. The not eating would also make him really sad. He would encourage you to eat more and more, and probably would also force you to eat if you didn't.
Because of his own experience with being restrained, if Yandere!Belphie is chaining you up and abusing you, you have probably made him very, very angry. At this point he doesn't trust you at all, and you've probably done something to make him feel abandoned. He'd not buy your docile "act" and maybe even mock you for it (Belphegor ur chapter 16 is showing). You'd better work hard at regaining his good favor, because who knows what he'll decide to do if you let him stew on it? He also would not like you not eating your food, but at this point he's more likely to just order you to eat rather than force feeding you.
How was that anon? Did it scratch ur itch?
Everyone, send more asks! 🙇🏿‍♀️
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honoviadakai · 3 months
Text
What I think the Diaboys smell like: Mukami borthers edition
(CW: mentions of self harm in Azusa’s section and blood in all sections)
Ruki:
Top notes: old books, Tea, Herbs and spices
Bottom notes: Garlic, ink, charcoal
Ah yes
A refined smell from a refined man
This guy smells the least like a vampire
Like, the Mukami’s in general smell a tad more human than vampire, but Ruki smells the most human out of the 4 of them
And humans would never think he was a vampire based off smell alone anyway
Now in case you didn’t know, Ruki’s favorite food is soup
Why is that important?
Well it’s cuz ya boi smells vaguely of garlic, herbs and spices
Most people will believe he’s an Italian man before the idea of him being a vampire is on the table 😂
Tbh it works out in his favor and for this reason, he’s the most human passing out of all the boys
However he does give old man vibes
Why?
Cuz he smells like he works in a library that was built during ancient Roman times
He smells so concerningly of old books that I don’t blame anyone that assumes his skin is actually made of paper
He also smells like he bleeds tea
To be fair…he probably does
Caffeine doesn’t affect vampires in the same way it does humans so you bet your bottom dollar he’s drinking tea every chance he gets
You have no idea how happy he is that tea and coffee don’t give him heartburn or acid reflux anymore (╯ ‿ ╰,)
But he does go overboard with his drinking sometimes…Kou and Yuma had to hide some of his tea so he’s chill out a bit
That day, they learned that vampires can in fact go through nasty withdrawal symptoms…
Thankfully he was able to take his mind off of that with his hobbies!
He has a few but the ones he tends to do a lot , outside of reading, is calligraphy and drawing
He specifically loves using charcoal as his drawing material!
His dad used to take him out for walks and they’d draw some scenery together
His mother was the one to teach him calligraphy
Doing either of these two crafts helps him feel close to his parents again
So he’s grown to love the smell of the ink and charcoal on paper
Sometimes he gets so into his work that his nails and fingers turn black by the time he stops
His brothers can tease him all they want, but he doesn’t mind it at all
He used to get much dirtier as a child when he worked on his crafts
So having the ink and charcoal permeate his skin in both appearance and smell gives him a sense of pride
He thinks his parents would be proud of him too
Kou:
Top notes: lilies, Gucci A Chant for The Nymph Eau de Parfum, berries
Bottom notes: Vongole Bianco, Cats, blood
Omg this guy smells so nice
First of, he naturally smells like lilies
Those flowers naturally smell sweet but super subtle
He also isn’t allowed to eat lots of desserts sometimes so he found a loophole and eats a metric fuck ton of berries when his sweet tooth is acting up
He’s not picky about the kind of berries he munches on, he just wants them to be sweet enough to satisfy him
So he smells very much like the cast of the Strawberry Shortcake franchise
And to top it all off, ya boi has pretty good taste in perfume
His favorite perfume is Gucci A Chant for The Nymph Eau de Parfum
It’s a very sweet, clean smelling fragrance that he makes absolutely sure to buy every 6 months
So based off all that you’d assume he always smells nice right???
Well…not exactly
First off, he is a vampire now and he does drink blood sometimes
But he doesn’t even smell like blood because of his vampiric nature
He just claims that’s why he sometimes smells like blood because the real reason is kinda embarrassing
So he’s an idol right? Part of his job is to sign stacks and stacks of autographs
He’s gotten so many paper cuts that he just starts wearing gloves
He has very delicate skin for a vampire, not as delicate as someone else on this list but we’ll get to him
He also smells like cats
He just really likes them so sometimes he just goes to cat cafes and plays with them
He also brings in strays and takes care of them
He won’t force them to stay if they don’t want to but 9 time outta 10 they stay so he just kinda smells like his feline friends
This dude also smells of his favorite food, Vongole Bianco
If left unsupervised, he will eat 5 plates of the stuff and he will smell of the pasta dish for weeks
Not in a bad way, he’ll just smell like he recently has dinner XD
@magnificentkidclamclod and I also came to the conclusion that once in a blue moon, this man will smell like French fries
Why and why’s it so rare?
Well for one, he’s just a big fan of McDonald’s French fries as well as their sprite so he will get it every chance he gets
Now as for why he rarely has it, it’s because of his manager and Ruki
As an idol he’s expected to maintain a certain weight and figure so he’s been told not to eat fast food
When his manager catches him he’ll just scold him and give him a slap on the wrist
But if Ruki catches him…it’s on sight
If Ruki even catches a whiff of fries on Kou, he’s running at him at full speed with what we blunt object happens to be close by
Unfortunately for the other 3 brothers, Ruki is a bit of a health nut and bans fast food from the house
Kou suffers the most and Azusa is the only one who helps him sneak contraband into the house
Yuma is true neutral on this tbh
He has a garden so he doesn’t care 🤣
Kou and Azusa will share fries every weekend at the mall followed up by a trip to the spa to get rid of the smell
Yuma:
Top notes: Dirt, Sweat, Sugar
Bottom notes: Blood, Fennel, Neem oil
Man is a farmer to his very core!
Doesn’t matter if he’s human or vampire, he’s gonna be up at 4 in the morning tending to every single one of his crops
And his scent always reminds everyone of this
He smells of the earth he tends to every day
He smells of the sweat of hard days works
And he smells of the fruits and veggies he tends and harvests
This giant bear of a man is the poster child of a rugged country boy 🤠
He also smells pretty sweet!
He eats sugar cubes so often that everyone’s amazed he hasn’t gotten diabetes yet
He also smells of fennel and neem oil
Those are really good, natural bug repellents
He’ll eat the fennel to keep the mosquitoes off him
He doesn’t need to cuz mosquitoes tend to avoid vampires but he did this a lot when he was human and old habits die hard
He sprays neem oil on and around his crops to keep pests away
All of these smells permeate into his being and set the gold standard of what your big, strong country boy should smell like
There is one thing that kinda weirds humans out though
He smells a tad like blood
It’s no where near as bad as the Sakamakis or the Taukinamis
But it’s juuuuust strong enough that sometimes his classmates will stop and ask him if he’s feeling ok
Thankfully his country boy aesthetic can save him from suspicion
Sometimes he’ll show them a cut he got from when he tried to clean the shattered remains of a pot and they’ll immediately drop the issue
Of course the dude who tends crops is gonna smell like blood! Hard physical work makes you bleed sometimes!
That’s all it is right?
🙂
He’s lucky he’s got such a water tight excuse cuz when he does drink blood, he gets a bit messy
Thankfully he cleans up after himself right away
Azusa:
Top notes: Blood, Shichimi Togarashi, curry powder
Bottom notes: Rubbing alcohol, fresh bandages, leather
Oh Azusa…
You beautiful, precious little masochist…
This one is the least human passing of the Mukami brothers and it’s not too hard to see why…
First off, he smells like the inside of a hospital morgue 💀
He smells like rubbing alcohol, bandages and blood
The strongest smell being the blood…
And here’s the thing
It’s his own blood that people are usually smelling
Yeah, sometimes it’s someone else’s blood
But 9 times outta 10 he smells like blood because he gave himself a few fresh cuts
And it’s usually a concerningly large amount of blood
He has the most delicate skin out of all his brothers
I’m also convinced he might have been anemic when he was human and maybe even still is
So combine all that and Azusa is basically a gusher
Thankfully he always has bandages on him
Unfortunately he doesn’t do much to cover up the bloody smell…
He does like spicy food so he tends to eat quite a bit of curry
So he does smell like curry powder sometimes
He also smells like his favorite food, Shichimi Togarashi
It’s basically like a seaweed mix
But it’s not enough to change very the weird bloody hospital smell he permanently has on him
Ruki does use the “He has anemia” card to make people less suspicious…but then Azusa gives Ruki a heart attack
Hell ask people if they wanna cut him
That’s not exactly normal human behavior so his brothers will step in and prevent him from doing anything to blow their cover
He also just naturally smells like leather
It’s very subtle but it’s nice!
As stated in Kou’s second, he also smells of French fries
He really likes McDonald’s fries…when they’re cold…
It weirds Kou out but he’s getting fries with his lil bro so he does his best to ignore it
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trashytoastboi · 8 months
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Could I request a pregnancy and parental headcannon for killer I loved your others and killer is one of my favorite. I love your writing!😍😍
Heyya! Of course bean ^^ so sorry for the late reply and long wait, hope you enjoy~
Headcanons: Killer x F! S/O - Pregnancy and Parental 
(Female pronouns) 
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Killer
Pregnancy
🍜 Honestly, probably some of the most unexpected pieces of news Killer ever anticipated on hearing. He had been preoccupied with survival and grandeur dreams of elevating Kid to be the pirate king. While navigating the craziness that was the grandline and the new world. So hearing {Name} tell him the news of her pregnancy was very unexpected. She waited, hoping to find an opportune moment but one never arised, so in perhaps a little more casual manner than she wanted, she delivered the news over sharing a bowl of pasta.
🍜 Well after the initial choking on his noodles, Killer had to take a moment. He gathered his thoughts, being the worry wart he weighed the pros and cons of the news. {Name} knew Killer, so his outright lack of a reaction was expected but still anxiety inducing nevertheless. “Are you sure?” Was Killer’s first words, {Name} confirmed once again and explained being checked three times by different doctors who all confirmed the news. Truth be told, Killer felt so out of depth but still he concealed a smile beneath his mask. 
🍜 Killer is the pique of information, he knows every good food, bad food, and expected symptom. Everything, in fact he was so involved that he developed morning sickness. The condition is better known as sympathetic pregnancy. Killer becomes a bit overbearing and tries to restrict {Name’s} contact with anything dangerous and begins to think in extremities. {Name} does calm him down, explaining that all that information is very vital and his concern is valid, but she knows her body as well. Sometimes all it took was placing his hand on her stomach to feel those over energetic kicks to really calm him down. 
🍜If he could, he would literally carry her everywhere. {Name} refuses, but Killer still offers all the time. To make up for this Killer does frequently insist on giving {Name} foot massages, knowing that her feet will hurt after too much walking and standing. The rest of the crew also got a tad annoyed by Killer’s baby proofing of literally everything on the ship. Or accidentally neglecting duties because he is too distracted reading all those parenting books. 
🍜Had roped Kid into preparing a whole bunch of stuff like toys, a crib and even a mobile. The crew honestly got so excited thanks to Killer that there was a silent war over who would be named the official godfather. Though Killer had already dubbed them all the uncles. Killer also grew insanely adept at sewing because he made a majority of {Name’s} maternity clothes and some babygrows, one in just about every colour. 
Parental 
🍜 Killer had been imagining the moment when he would first see and meet his child. He never knew what he would feel, or how he would react. Newborns admittedly looked a little uglier than he expected. He couldn’t fathom how such a tiny and fragile human existed. Killer never once sat and thought about how everyone started as babies, it’s not one of those things he thinks about but seeing his child and just how tiny they were, they could practically fit in the palm of his hand. 
🍜 So hesitant and afraid to hold the tiny baby. Takes a lot of encouragement and reassurance from {Name} before Killer feels secure enough to hold his child for the first time. He remembers being nervous, but also excited. The soft bundle of warmth that made some weird noises while remaining fast asleep in his arms. Much like {Name} the process of learning to be a parent was an arduous one, Killer was more afraid of accidentally hurting them than anything. 
🍜 10/10 Killer would do anything for this tiny human, no questions asked. The feelings of being a parent was not just the anxiety, the questions of if he was doing it well or even regretting mistakes where he could have handled it differently. It was an inexplicable and sometimes overwhelming feeling of love and joy even from the most mundane things. Looking forward to seeing them grow but at the same time being sad about it, a bittersweet feeling. 
🍜 In terms of how Killer tries to shape his parenting is a little on the strict side. He explains the best he can, to a level that could be understood by a child for the rules he enforces. He is permissive at times when it can be afforded and does indulge and encourage curiosity unless it something that could be detrimental or dangerous for them. On some things he is immovable and stubborn. A fair example was when he put his foot down, not allowing his babybean to eat too many sweets in fear of them getting stomach aches or cavities. Killer was devastated when they said that they hated him though. 
🍜 Before making any big decisions or needing some form of council he always fell to {Name’s] wisdom, she always explained things in a different way or could see things differently. Sometimes he didn’t know if he was doing this whole dad thing right, he felt insecure in himself despite always trying his best. He knew that sometimes his intentions couldn’t easily be conveyed or could be misunderstood. Killer truly wants the best for babybean, and constantly tries to work to achieve that.
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Text
There’s a lot of advice out there on how to get a doctor to take you seriously. Most of it is wrong.
Lucky for you, I’ve been in pain for a decade! Through trial and lots of errors, I’ve learned a few things and I’m happy to share them with you.
First though, a little background on why you might need this information. It’s basically a rite of passage for chronically ill patients to lose their faith in doctors. We go in expecting Dr. Gregory House – the brilliant and grumpy lead character on the TV show House -- to solve the puzzle of our illness. Instead, we’re more likely to be met by a doctor with all of House’s hostility, but none of his determination.
Doctors are notorious for downplaying symptoms, ignoring concerns, and blaming everything on the patient’s weight/smoking habit/stress/drug-seeking behavior.
They also tend to have a violent aversion to patients who suggest their own diagnoses. Their delicate doctor egos override any rational reaction and, more often than not, patients with chronic illness leave their appointments with no answers.
I used to think this only happened to women, but after attending multiple appointments with men in my family, I have come to realize that it’s just an across-the-board thing. My theory is that many of them became doctors so they can be seen as the smartest person in the room. And they hate it when patients treat them as equals, instead of the superior beings they believe themselves to be.
The problem is, a lot of patients tend to be really good at figuring out what’s wrong with their own bodies. They’re highly motivated to find answers, and they have more access to medical research tools then ever before in human history. Doctors love to mock Dr. Google, but that’s kind of like mocking libraries. Finding information online doesn’t automatically make it less valuable than finding it in a book.
Which brings us to the problem: Once we, as patients, figure out what might be wrong, how do we bring it up to our doctor without offending them?
In short, it’s all about framing. You need to suggest that someone else is making you ask them about whatever it is you want to bring up. Let me share an example:
Do NOT say: “I think I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.”
Instead, say: “My best friend wanted me to ask you about something. I don’t even think it’s a thing, but she thinks I might have something called EDS. Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, I think? I don’t know. It’s probably rare. But have you heard of it? Do you think I might have it?” (Read more at link)
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meirimerens · 3 days
Note
What were you reading on your trip!!
Omg love this question. It's been so long since I've been able to discuss books... you're getting reviews too. Or like My Thoughts.
First book was La Nuit Chienne (Nightbitch) by Rachel Yoder. my review: first thing first I do think I'd have loved it more in its original English version, but I bought it in France in a French bookshop so it's in French. However, a lot of the packed punch of it hinges on the wordplay and the homonymy of bitch and bitch, of Da Dog, so the orginal version probably is a less "jarring" read, as the translation left in parts in English that it just Couldn't find a way to translate.
the feminist themes are both overt and somewhat shallow, one could say "loud" without being "deep", being tinged a little of "baby's first feminist thoughts" and "baby's first discovery of Feminine Rage/the concept of a mother goddess" However Comma it does fit with the characters AND considering the author grew up in a fundamentalist Christian cult which, as Christian cults do, offers nothing but patriarchal projections and rehearsal, the narration does feel like something like she might have found/thought while deprogramming, and I don't doubt it could have been very liberating and empowering to her, and could be for many, manyyy women in the same situation as the main character. [Extremely vague spoilers from now but you'll have forgotten all about this if you pick up the book + i do feel like the "ride" is not spoiled by this] the husband was way too readily redeemed, and I think it's another symptom of writing about a feminism that's quite centered on wives and mothers (nothing wrong with that) but does not want to make them confront the fact that Your Husband Is Part Of The Problem. The actual Bitch (As In The Dog) I find actually quite good, and it's both the thing that attracted me to the book ( I ❤️ STORIES OF LYCANTHROPY OR EVEN VAGUELY RELATED TO LYCANTHROPY ESPECIALLY FEMALE LYCANTHROPY I DID MY BACHELOR'S ACCROCHAGE ON IT) and kept me going. [/spoiler] Tldr: the bones are good but the meat leaves to be desired (topical metaphor)
Second book was Le Ciel en Sa Fureur ("the sky in its fury") by Adeline Fleury. About the life in a small tight-knit Normandy village as animals turn up dead, this one kid is making it rain frogs and toads and is constantly found near the animal carcasses, and everyone has to come to terms with the town's secrets and their own that they've kept all these years. I ❤️ magical realism stories and I ❤️ stories in rural settings so mostly I've had a good time. The background of a tight-knit rural village slowly overtaken by a new suburb greatly appeals to me + how legends are woven into the fabric of social life... loved that... I thought the storey was kind of diminished by the early reveal of Who Done It, even thought it serves to humanize them and That's The Point, I felt like it could have been kept secret juuuust a little longer. Get scared etc. Also on one hand I'd have wished to know more about the [...]-kids, on the other I believe the ambiguity is how they're truly lived and experienced as living legends so. Yeah I'll cope with that. Also they had a lesbian second-main character and the author was normal about her \o/ you would not believe the bullshit I've had to read in contemporary books for 10 years until I got a lesbian character who's written normally. It's never too late!
THANK YOU FOR QUASTION... me tucking myself into bed every evening 📖🤓
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xjulixred45x · 5 months
Note
Hi I hope your day is going good, could I request Blue Exorcist Lucifer relationship headcanons with a female half angel half human reader? Please and thank you!
Hi! I'm okey-ish, thank You :3
My first work of Blue Exorcist! Thanks!
Lucifer x Half Angel! Reader
Genre: Headcanons
Reader: Female
Warnings: SPOILERS, IMPORTANT SPOILERS FOR PEOPLE WHO DOESNT READ THE MANGA!!!Sickness(from Lucifer), religion themes(Minor), Reader is Half Angel, the Illuminati.
Lucifer finds himself fascinating, plain and simple, fascinating.
Let's say he knows through the organization (which probably brought you with not very clean tactics to see if you could serve as a cure for his illness).
and you couldn't help but stay when you saw the suffering he was going through being so dying. Your empathy played an important part in this.
That was a big surprise.
but when you showed your total Angelic nature (although mixed race) it was an absolute SHOCK.
He asks a lot of questions at first when you take care of him.
Is there a heaven? If so, do only the "worthy" really enter or could anyone do it? Which of your parents is an angel? Or an archangel? Is there really a god?
He has no idea how the halo works, but assumes it is the Angelic equivalent of the demonic tail.
All of this in the most polite way possible, and he settles for whatever answer you give him, even if you don't even know the answer.
That was your relationship at the beginning, you were interested out of sympathy and he was interested out of pure fascination and the possibility of a cure.
but it wasn't that easy. Unfortunately, although you could alleviate some of the symptoms of his illness, you could not cure him. He wasn't disappointed at all, he was used to it.
but he was surprised to see that you were disappointed that you couldn't help him.
Rather, he was surprised at how well-intentioned you are (probably your angelic nature speaks for that mainly? Could it be!)
This led to both of you starting to see each other in a less formal way and in a more friendly light, I mean, he somehow always saw you as someone friendly, but now that you saw him in the same way and you let go more, it was like, a new level of brightness.
You're still his primary "caretaker," but now, in more advanced relationship terms, it's another way of saying "you're the only person allowed to touch him without having to ask permission."
He is still polite and goddam stoic, but everyone can see that he has a softer and more sincere tone when it comes to you. In general, their way of acting also changes in a subtle but significant way when you are present.
Shima jokingly says it's because of your "angelic presence" but that really has nothing to do with it. I mean, yes, he really likes your angelic mitsd, your wings are damn soft and your presence is naturally relaxing, but it's ALL of you that makes him like this.
He also begins to implement extra protocols regarding your care and protection. Although he knows that angels do not die easily (not to say that they do not die in the literal sense), it is the human part of you that worries him immensely and makes him question your mortality.
Because your presence alleviates the symptoms of his illness, rest assured that he will be clinging to you like a koala, yup, even in public, he is not afraid to show how much he loves you, he is very confident in his abilities to protect you and he does not see you in the least as a "weak point".
If anything you only make it stronger.
If the True Cross tries to capture you for your angelic properties, that will only be another factor for him to start the war. Apart from the fact that you could forget to go outside the Illuminati base, you will not risk that your outings end up turning you into a guinea pig.
At least try to compensate for it by pampering yourself, whether with physical affection, books, very VERY controlled outings outside (with you), even putting artificial gardens inside the base especially for you.
He doesn't like it when you look down after all.
Both of you can debate the inconsistencies of the Bible to pass the time (similar to what I said in a previous point), so you agree on two (or rather three) things that you like, solving doubts, reading, and you :3
many 👏gifts👏 is something that is even ridiculous, but he is very observant and although it may not seem like it, he is good at listening (at least to you) so he constantly gives you things that he thinks you might like, be it clothes, accessories, books, paintings , anything.
He honestly sees you in a light of "she's literally an angel, she can't do anything wrong" and that can be a double-edged sword if you end up being chaotic. He would be telling his collegues with his serious face how cute you are while flying over a burning surface laughing (in his defense, you look cute when you're happy).
If the True Cross people hurt you (whether by accident or on purpose) it will be a Blue Night 2.0 honestly, don't let that happen, seriously.
If he feels well enough to do so, he would love to fly with you, in general he already thinks you look like a real angel, but flying... it's absolutely divine.
I don't think he'll be very interested in meeting your family unless it's the Angelic family, but hey, at least if you ask him, he'll make sure your human family is always safe.
In general his biggest focus is on keeping YOU safe (his literal "guardian" angel so to speak, although I can definitely see him non-ironically calling you Angel as a pet name).
He's definitely not letting you get to know Mephisto/Samael, other than because of their differences in ideas and what they want to do with the world, he KNOWS that Mephisto would try something shady and has no interest in fighting his brother (much less risking You, so nop).
Can you imagine that when he goes to declare war with True Cross, you go with him, with your wings spread, helping him stand up due to his illness? That would be epic, and it would only reaffirm his point in a way, you are a total angel bc You look so damn angelical in that moment(like the Ángel of Victory!)
All in all, not a bad Match, he loves you better than an average demon would, but there is definitely no way he would share your beauty with the world.
you are just HIS angel after all.
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Thanks for reading and the Request ❤️
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paellegere · 3 months
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Your jopzier scorbutic nostalgia post goes sooo fucking crazy and just blew a hole in my brain. You’re so real and correct for that one + I’ve never seen that connection before!!
Do you have any other resources on scorbutic nostalgia you could link? It’s very interesting to me. Thank you and have a lovely day :)
hi, thank you! i have not been able to stop thinking about jopzier since i learned about the hallucinations. dear god
(sorry this is late, i posted the horrible thing and then disappeared for half a week to a convention lol)
i had to go down one hell of a rabbit hole to find any information about scurvy beyond the initial symptoms and treatment options because apparently that's the only free information about scurvy on the internet, oh my god. but i found this article about scurvy on national geographic (which i had to relinquish my email address to read so i would argue it's not actually free) which interviews a professor of humanities named jonathan lamb about his book, scurvy: the disease of discovery. his work looks at how scurvy (and other 18th century diseases) shape and influence literature, so rather than being about the science of scurvy, he researches how it's used in literature and the i guess emotional effects of it on culture? he's basically the only modern-day person talking about scurvy, though i was able to find a few research papers (also locked behind paywalls) that seemed to support his research. i wouldn't know though. can't access them </3
i was able to find another paper by lamb on scorbutic nostalgia which talks about thomas trotter's studies on scurvy back in the late 18th century. of course the paper cost $50 to rent (or, as of today, it's not even accessible even with payment, lmfao) so i could only look at the abstract for it.
anyway his book has a whopping 2.6 stars on amazon and scathing reviews about how dense and meandering it is, so i nabbed myself a Convenient Digital Copy instead to scan through. my primary goal was to see if mr. lamb had hard evidence of hallucinations as a symptom of scurvy, since i couldn't find anything (for free, online) that wasn't penned by jonathan lamb about these hallucinations. turns out his meandering, dense writing worked in my favor, because this guy LOVES quotes and about half of the book is just that. so i found the section about scorbutic nostalgia and discovered a veritable trove of contemporary journals and letters from sailors describing their vivid dreams. i marked up a bunch of stuff, so i'll share some of what i read under the cut through so you can avoid having to witness the book proper if you so choose. highlighting is my own, obviously.
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hopefully this helps! finding resources about scurvy is actually so frustratingly difficult.
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Okay, so a "little" infodump on ADHD and a rant about the treatment of people with ADHD in the media
This post focuses on ADHD and media representation of ADHD.
Introduction
I know this isn't my usual type of content, but I need to rant to an audience. I will get back to my usual type of content after this. I got diagnosed with ADHD over two months ago, and I've started following a few ADHD accounts on YT and Instagram to find social support, but what I've seen is tons of comments filled with misinformation under every single video/post about ADHD. I also saw this type of behavior from news outlets and the comments under every single ADHD news story I found. I decided to make this post to make it clear what ADHD really is and what it is not. I attempt to be as truthful and unbiased as possible, but I am only a human being so if you notice something wrong, please let me know in the comments.
What is ADHD? (And what it isn't)
ADHD is a condition that affects a person's attention, impulsivity and activity. Some have difficulty with only their attention, some have with only their hyperactivity, some have difficulty with both. It can affect both girls and boys, both women and men. You are born with it and it doesn't disappear as you age. You can't get it from using the internet too much. It is a real condition and not manufactured by "big pharma" or whatever some say. It isn't a fake condition that drug addicts use to get meth. It's not easy to get a diagnosis and you need to pass a drug test. It has been around for a long time before internet and western medicine. It is genetic. Symptoms can be managed through therapy, medicine and the help of loved ones. What doesn't help is grit, daily grind and prayers, neither does blaming and yelling.
What are the symptoms? (Inattention, impulsivity, hyperactivity, emotional dysregulation)
People with inattentive ADHD have difficulty initiating and focusing on certain tasks (such as cooking, paying bills, learning) especially those that require effort and are uninteresting or unpleasant. People with inanttentive ADHD might seem quiet, lazy or like they never listen, but really they just can't control their attention as well as many others.
Impulsivity is the tendency to act without thinking. It shows up especially in relationships and personal finance. People with this symptom might spend a lot of money on things they don't need (duplicates of a item they already have, books that they feel like they will someday read but never do, buying random stuff online) and ruin their financial situation for a while (because you need money to live, eat, pay the bills.) In relationships they might act without thinking of others, for example they may offend others without meaning to. Overall, their behavior could be characterized as risky and impatient by others. Still, they can be an empathetic person, even though their actions at times might seem insensitive.
Hyperactivity symptoms are both external (you can see it) and internal (you can't see it.) External symptoms include difficulty staying still (pacing, doodling, talking excessively.) Internal hyperactivity symptoms include having a racing mind, taking unnecessary risks, getting anxious over "nothing" and being impatient. People with hyperactive symptoms might seem to be always busy, overwhelmed or seem immature. Try to be understanding: inside they may feel very restless or extremely bored.
One symptom that I've seen discussed on various YouTube channels is emotional dysregulation. People with emotional dysregulation have difficulty with controlling their emotional response and dealing with strong emotions. They might seem dramatic or they seem to overreact, but just remember that they may feel guilt or embarrassment for acting out the way they do. But emotional dysregulation is not just an excuse to avoid responsibility, but instead it's an explanation to why they've acted the way they did.
Brain chemistry of ADHD (and are people with ADHD just lazy)
ADHD brains don't have as much dopamine as neurotypical ("normal people") brains. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that creates motivation to do stuff. Without it you wouldn't do stuff. You wouldn't play games, eat, walk or even blink.
So how can people with ADHD play games then? Are they just lazy? No, playing games doesn't make you lazy, neither does not doing laundry. Think of it as all people having a certain threshold that needs to be exceeded for a task to be doable. For neurotypicals the threshold is easier to exceed, because they have more dopamine. So for them doing laundry is easier to start, but for people with ADHD the threshold may be too high, unless they get help. The threshold for playing games is lower, because it's much more enjoyable than doing laundry (at least for the majority.) So playing games is easier to start doing and focus on, doing laundry involves discomfort, so it requires an extra push.
How ADHD is portrayed in the media
I've seen many news outlets, tv-shows and other forms of media treat ADHD as a boys' condition that disappears in adulthood. Also, in recent years ADHD has been portrayed as a "trendy diagnosis" teens and young adults "want" to have along with autism spectrum disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and many others in order to gain "respect" or "status" or just to get a free pass on being "lazy". More often than not the medicine used to treat ADHD is presented in a negative light and it is claimed that children shouldn't be given ADHD medication because it is "literal meth" and it's a study drug that makes students geniuses without any effort. These are all misleading claims and I'll try my best to debunk these below.
Can girls have ADHD?
It is true that boys are more likely to get a diagnosis for ADHD, but it's because ADHD presents differently in boys and girls. Girls can also have ADHD. Girls typically have more inattentive symptoms and they are more likely to mask (or hide) their struggles from others in fear of judgement from parents, teachers or peers.
Can adults have ADHD?
ADHD symptoms do sometimes lessen with age, but ADHD doesn't disappear when you reach adulthood. Sometimes symptoms may even worsen in adulthood because of increased responsibility. People with ADHD may forget to pay their bills and may have difficulty forming and maintaining relationships. In childhood parents are usually the ones to take care of these kinds of things, so when a person with an undiagnosed ADHD moves out and tries to live independently it's very difficult. They find out they've had severe problems with self-regulation their whole life without even knowing.
Is ADHD just a trend?
Is ADHD actually a trend among teens and young adults? I'd say that's irrelevant, because it isn't harming anyone. People with ADHD face a lot of hate and judgement. ADHD is a very stigmatizing disorder and many have to hide their condition from others. Some have to get a diagnosis later in life because they fear their family might disown them after seeking help. So, for some it is comforting to be part of a group that understands their problems and doesn't judge them. People should have the opportunity to feel included and supported even if they didn't have ADHD but showed symptoms.
There has been growth in ADHD diagnoses in recent years, in part because of increased awareness, in part because of a change in people's lifestyles. By "change in lifestyle" I am referencing people using internet more and people having busier schedules. Both of these may make ADHD symptoms worse, so people are more likely to seek help. Remember that the number of people with ADHD hasn't changed, only the number of diagnoses. Could this be explained by by a rise in false diagnoses? Probably not, because the same trend is seen in multiple countries. There may be misdiagnoses for sure, like with every medical condition, but it's highly unlikely to explain everything. In fact, ADHD is often falsely diagnosed as depression, bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder, especially in women.
Is ADHD medication dangerous?
ADHD medication has often been vilified, even to the point that medication is seen as a last resort. It has been painted as a dangerous drug that leads to people becoming addicts. So, is it justified to say that ADHD medication is "meth"? I don't think so. Even though it's true that some countries allow the use of methamphetamine in treating ADHD in both children and adults, it's not justified to label it as meth because of the negative connotations it has (and also because not every ADHD medication use methamphetamine; there is also methylphenidate, atomoxetine and more.) In controlled doses ADHD medications are safe and the risk of addiction is low. Often medication even lowers the risk of future addictions as people stop self-medicating with illegal substances. Serious side effects do exist, so the symptoms of ADHD medication (and any medication) should always be reported, monitored and taken seriously.
Are ADHD meds good study drugs?
Are ADHD meds a good study drug then? No, not if you are a neurotypical ("normal brained") person. They won't make you smarter, but they may give you a false sense of confidence and insomnia. If you have ADHD, the medication may let you finally concentrate, which possibly will help you get better grades.
How the media has affected people with ADHD
Journalists have failed in debunking these false claims and instead push these talking points even further, making it more difficult for people to seek help. People who suspect having ADHD but don't yet have a diagnosis may feel unsafe telling others they need help because society treats them as potential drug addicts, lazy students and attention seeking phone addicted teenagers.
The thank you's and all that (The end)
Thank you for reading this post. This took me a few hours to write and I'm sure it took you multiple minutes to get here (or you just skipped right to the end.) In any case, I hope you either learned something new or found a new way to debunk misinformation.
To all of you with ADHD I just want to say that you're not lazy, you're not weak, you're not annoying and you're not dramatic. You're not a burden. You deserve help and a loving, nurturing environment and you deserve to be taken seriously. If you're not diagnosed, but relate to ADHD symptoms, you should consider talking with a mental health professional. It is also okay to not want a diagnosis, and in that case it's best to find safe support groups, either online or offline.
Stay safe.
Edits
Edit 1: I want to add that some adhd medications can cause side effects such as insomnia. ADHD already by itself can affect sleep quality, so sometimes it's recommended to take melatonin or something else that helps you sleep. It's also important to practice sleep hygiene (calming down before sleep, eating something before bed, etc). I also want to add that "feeling like a zombie" while taking ADHD medication is not normal. It can be caused by the dose being too high or the medication being unsuitable, so it can be solved by lowering the dose or switching to another medication.
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reijitokito · 7 months
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Pasting my whole don quixote analysis thread to this site cause i want people to see it. Badly. Reminder i use he/she for donki DO NOT BE JARRED!!!
First of all i think the guy has alot of insecurity about her impulsiveness just. digged there but also feels extremely empty so she tries to make up for it by exaggerating parts of her personality.. THERE COULD BE MANY REASONS! possibly he was seen as emotionless due to being mentally Ill and showing obvious autistic symptoms at one point. which can explain her reaction to the mariachis. I believe she also represses her negative reactions to the things he sees on a daily basis and has been for a good chunk of his life which couldve caused some negative reactions in “friends” who would use this to support the wrongful perceptjon of her as emotional. i feel. she’s definitely hiding SOME shit and also may be exaggerating her personality for other reasons such as. A trauma response and i just believe he’s still the smae loving idealistic perosn at heart.. also the things she is possibly hiding dont seem to be anything too horrifying. So far alot of the signs of her steering away from his past and the internal lack of trust and engagement with the sinners can really justbe compared to what yi sang has done before chapter 4. On the topic of yi sang! Theres a good chunk of parallels between them, such as the fact they were the first two to get promos, their themes of delusion v. Reality, the sin envy in their second attack for both of their base egos, appearing unable to trust other sinners (which i will explain later!) and duitfulness to their ideals. Additionally i can also see donki’s friend group as being formed with a shared goal, as people who are outcasted though slowly with the introduction of new members becoming more torn and corrupted. While in Quixote’s case this seems MUCH worse than Yi Sang, this still would be something shared between them.
I feel like.. family history is similar to hong lu Rich family similar to original book and was probably very sheltered and restrainwd from meeting people possibly due to her family membershaving a poor perceptioj of her. I believe at one point she cut them off and probably decided to become a fixer with sancho which can explain alot of the hints at her being somewhat poor. I think sancho was at first one of the only other people in her life other than her family. I alsk believe there will be some GAY SHIT GOING ON! Back ontopic. I think Sancho either got 1. Corrupted by the rest of donqui’s friends 2. died at some point in which Quixote would probably internally blame himself for Sancho’s death. NOW BLOOD OF SANCHO!!! i believe the reason it need Pride that Quixote often lacks in ids (most importantly base id) is that quixote cannot accept sancho’s death and also cannot accept how horribly the rest of his friends acted towards him But with. The pride needed for the ego don would be able to accept their deaths and still keep sancho in her memory. ADDITIONALLY TELEPOLE. i think telepole relates directly to the repression and abuse and lack of control quixote experienced due to her peers.
I am ill the post is DONE! If you scroll back on my profile i have also made a post on why quixote is jewish. Please read it As well. Talk to me about this guy PLEASE!!!
Oh my vosh and i almost forgot. additionally she seems extreeemely stiff when being with the sinners and honestly seems extremely isolated im believing she was also possibly Not treated like a human whennyounger.. demonized and idolized at the same time and feeling he has to be perfect and knightlike at all times.
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