#also there were old photos of me and I’m so happy with how far I’ve come transition wise

[gasstationlady]

the start of something beautiful | a lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x private!reader (fc: tyla)

lando is spotted with an unknown woman, and everyone thinks she’s another fling. however, later revealed as naomi campbell’s daughter, lando's fans slowly start to love her despite her tendency to be private.

notes: btw, i’m so sorry i’ve been mia for a while! honestly, i have a ton of drafts i’ve written over the time i didn’t post, but i lowkey hate all of them lmao. anyways, hope you enjoy this fluff :)

disclaimer: swearing. photos not mine. OLD PIC OF JAZ AND ROSS (yes it’s a warning bc i’m still mourning that relationship, and ik i’m not the only one). there are a few mistakes in the tweets that i was too lazy to fix lol. also, i hope the flow doesn’t feel too rushed!

masterlist

yourusername

liked by landonorris, yourbestie and 138 others

yourusername 🌸

View all 10 comments

yourbestie 👀

↳ yourusername 🙈

yourbestie framing these pics brb 😍😍

f1gossip

2,993 likes

f1gossip We received these photos of Lando and a girl today! It looks like the same girl he has been spotted with for the past 3 months, but it’s still unclear who it is. ☕️

View all 202 comments

user three months of them being pictured AND YET NONE CLEARLY CAPTURE HER FACE. that’s some bs

↳ user no deadass bc you guys had one job 🙄

user lmaoooo i know the delulu fans are crying that she’s still here

user Are we sure it's the same girl? Lmfao even if it is, he's probably going to get tired of her soon!

user god i hope people learn and treat her better than how they treated luisinha

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 759,301 others

landonorris First time trying wakeboarding 🤙

View all 1,401 comments

user happy lando >>>

user Where’s your girlfriend

user not the red bull life vest lmfaoo

user lando rlly said here’s some shirtless pics to distract u

↳ user frrr but like it’s not working 😭

f1gossip

12,321 likes

f1gossip Naomi Campbell and daughter, Y/N Campbell, making an appearance at today’s GP! It's presumed that Y/N is dating Mclaren driver, Lando Norris. Our sources in the paddock mentions that the two visited the Mercedes, Ferrari, and Mclaren garages before the race. 👀

View all 188 comments

user i'm literally in love w her she's soo beautiful 😍

user this actually makes sense that they knew each other since naomi has been connected to f1 for a while now

user I would be unstoppable if I looked like her.

user she looks so kind 🥺🥺

user oh the things i would do to reincarnate as a wealthy person’s child

user i was there and got to meet her and i’d just like to say that i’d go to war for her

landoupdates

7,626 likes

landoupdates Max, Lando, and Y/N (seen in second photo, far right) with fans at an after party! We received these pictures a few minutes ago, and the fan included “Y/N mostly stood behind as Max and Lando were asked for photos but she was so so kind !! Although you can tell she likes to keep to herself, she told me she thought my dress was cute and even got Lando’s attention for me so I could ask for a picture 😭 Also, he kept holding her hand !!!”

View all 204 comments

user her face card is insane.

user now that we know she's naomi's daughter, i can't believe we didn't see it before LOL

user “he kept holding her hand” 😭😭😭😭😭

user I have never wanted someone to go off private so bad 😩

user honestly she’s my new fav wag

user it’s the way everyone loves her rn lmaoooo

user LANDO CAN YOU FIGHT

f1gossip

11,234 likes

f1gossip Lando, Ginge, and Ethan possibly alluding to Lando’s new relationship with Y/N in the recent Quadrant video 👀👀

See all 239 comments

user not them clowning him 😭

user i mean we all know by now that they’re together but this was the cherry on top

user melting over how he couldn’t stop smiling 🥹

user the fact that he kept this clip in 😩😩

user I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING “LANDO CAN YOU FIGHT”

user I get it 😭 I also wouldn’t be able to hide that I’m dating Y/N

user perfect example of private but not a secret, in love with them 🥹🥹

landoupdates

5,389 likes

landoupdates A few photos of Lando and Y/N at the paddock today ☺️

See all 195 comments

user literally my fav couple

user when is he gonna make it officially on insta

↳ user My thoughts exactly!! 😭😭 I know not everything has to be posted, but I’m just excited to see him officially announce it.

user my girl y/n looked so fucking good today

user i just want him to post her solely because i want more y/n pics

↳ user LOL you’re so real for that

landonorris

liked by yourusername, angryginge13, georgerussell63 and 1,221,334 others

landonorris We so good ❤️

View all 4,201 comments

user THE HAND PLACEMENT

user not tagging her is criminal 😭😭

↳ user girl what’s the point when she’s on private

user When will it be my turn 😩

user LANDO??? OMFG

user TURN IT UP IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE 😁😁😁🔊🔊

user omggg i can’t, they’re goals

user Y/N IS SO CUTE

user i luv my parents

#f1 instagram au #f1 social media au #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris instagram au #f1 smau #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #lando norris au #formula 1 x reader

[ifwebefriends]

My thoughts during “The Sign” [SPOILERS!!!!!]

ID in ALT

More thoughts under the cut

So I think most of us can agree that this is the best episode of Bluey so far. It was so emotional and satisfying in ways that are kinda new for Bluey. It answered so many questions while giving us a few new ones. I’ve been waiting for this episode for months and it did not disappoint in any way.

This is just a Chekov’s firing squad of an episode. As in a lot of stuff that was set up in earlier episodes all pay off in this episode. I kinda understand why people love soap operas now lol. I will say that this episode was a tad overwhelming for me in the best way possible. As in I had to pause and rewind every 30 seconds or so so I could emotionally process what was happening before moving forward (but that’s a me thing). There was just so much going on and I’m happy about that.

Now onto individual thoughts about specific things:

The callback to Baby Race (“you took your first steps in that house!”) really got to me because Baby Race was the first episode of Bluey that I watched and it immediately made me fall in love with it so it just got to me.

When Chilli said “Frisky and I came up here as teenagers to…um…think,” my mind started racing immediately with “what the FUCK happened at the Lookout?” “Who hurt Frisky and/or Chilli?” And I’m just so curious about what made Chilli say that line like that but we’ll probably never know what happened.

So yeah that scene at the end when the music was playing and Bandit ripped the sign out of the ground and Chilli tackled him to the ground ABSOLUTELY CHANGED my brain chemistry y’all. I can’t articulate my feelings any more than that.

I know some people were upset that Brandy ended up getting pregnant but I thought it was great for her! I’m happy for her! And I think that even though she got what she wanted in the end doesn’t negate the feelings she had about her infertility earlier. But I think we’re all wondering who the father is and I don’t know if the show really needs to answer that.

The whole message of “we’ll see” in terms of if something is good or bad is such a mature message that I never really thought of like that so I will be taking that philosophy forward in life. Congratulations Bluey, you managed to teach a 22-year-old childless person something new and insightful about life that I don’t think I’ve learned from another show.

I want to know more about what Bob was going through and feeling and why he went to India, but again, we’ll probably never know.

I just love how the wedding photos were beautiful but imperfect. Like of course we’re not perfect and nothing will ever be perfect but it’s beautiful and worth remembering anyway.

So many little jokes and moments were so funny in a mature way (I.e. “are we allowed to do that?” And Nana thinking there was about to be a baby announcement) were just so funny and memorable.

I think some people would say it’s a cop-out to end up not selling the house after building it up for 2 episodes but I don’t know, I think it works. I think Bluey and Bingo learned a valuable lesson and Bandit (and Chilli kinda) learned it’s not always about making their kids lives “perfect” in their eyes. Also I’m just personally glad they didn’t end up selling the house and I also kinda like that it wasn’t entirely their choice to keep it.

On a more serious note I think this episode has some interesting commentary on like gender roles and gender relations in straight relationships. In this episode Chilli and Frisky (both women) have to deal with their male significant others pressuring them to move with them far away from what they know and love. In the end they don’t end up moving and the men didn’t seem to have like malicious or selfish intent with it, they were just kinda basing their choices off their jobs instead of what’s best emotionally for their loved ones. But I think it’s interesting to have this conflict where gender is kinda brought up in a way (“because your husband is making you”). It kinda plays into the traditional idea of like men are the breadwinners and the family has to move with them regardless of what they actually want. And this episode kinda like deconstructs that and says “no, it’s not always about the job or money, it’s also sometimes about connections and emotional attachment.” And I’m not saying that you should never move or whatever, but really weigh your options. I just thought that it was interesting that this episode kinda touched on that.

So yeah that’s kinda the main thoughts I had on this episode if you made it this far thank you for reading my rambles and have a good one!

#Bluey #bluey the sign #meme #Bluey heeler #rad heeler #bandit heeler #chilli heeler #baby race #my ramblings #my rambles #frisky heeler #brandy cattle #spoilers #bluey the sign spoilers #bluey spoilers

[meganslife]

Pen pals - p. parker

TASM! Peter Parker x Fem! reader

summary: peter parker is your pen pal.

warnings: none so far!!!

hello helloooo!!! i had this idea because i myself have a pen pal, and it’s honestly really fun and reminds me of peter. this will be multiple parts!! anyhoo, happy reading!

Having a pen pal was fun. It gave you something to look forward to whenever you needed to open the mailbox. It was nice, although your lovely pen pal, Peter, was on the other side of the country. You were in Seattle. He was in Queens, New York. It was a nice arrangement that you two had. No phone numbers, just handwritten letters, and cute little pictures.

When you opened your apartment mailbox and saw that you had a letter from Peter, your heart felt warm. It was the warmest you’ve felt in a while.

Y/N,

My apologies for not writing you back sooner. School is kicking my butt recently, and I moved back in with May (hence why a new address is on the envelope). My old roommate went BALLISTIC on me for little things, so I decided I needed to leave. May is a better person to have around, anyway.

The fall semester ended last week, and I wish I could say that I passed my finals. My professors are just mean, I think. I’ve been super stressed out lately, and writing this letter is helping me. You’re my savior. Also, the pictures you sent me of you in Tennessee are amazing. You should be a model! I’m sure you hear that a lot because of how pretty you are;)

I hope it’s not too cold in Seattle. I took some pictures of random things I thought you’d like, maybe that’ll distract you from how cold it is. I know how much you hate the cold. (You chose the wrong place to live!)

Anyhoo, I’m sorry this letter is short. My wrist is cramping up and May needs help with dinner. Write back as soon as you can.

Much love,

Peter ♥

Photo one: Peter in an obnoxiously large New Year’s Eve hat, grinning from ear to ear with his friend(?)

Photo two: A Polaroid of stray cats bonding in what you assume is Peter’s front yard.

Photo three: A Polaroid of Peter that was clearly taken by May. Peter is holding a tray of muffins, and he looks really stupid in his apron.

You get to writing him a letter right away.

Dear Peter,

I love the pictures. I’ll add them to my growing collection on my wall:)

My day has been so shitty. I wish you were here. It gets lonely, sometimes. I have friends, I’ve told you very little about them. They’re great, don’t get me wrong, but living alone is just lonely. Maybe I should get a cat or something. I need something to come home to. (Sorry for making this portion of the letter sad. I just needed someone to talk to.)

The weather in Queens looks nice. You’re awfully lucky, Peter. It’s cold and slushy here. I’m cold to the bone. Like, nothing will warm me up. It’s annoying. I just want it to be summer again. I hate being pale and cold.

I don’t have any pictures as of right now, so I’m sorry about that. I have some drawings I could give you.

My letter is short too, so I guess we’re even. I need to nap the sadness away.

Cold and loving,

Y/N ♥

~

The next letter you receive from Peter is about a week later.

My dearest Y/N,

I’m so sorry you aren’t feeling well.

I know we said we wouldn’t exchange phone numbers, and I respect that, but I just need to give you mine. I need to. Just in case. I don’t want you to be sad and lonely and have to wait for my letters to come. I like you. I like you A LOT– And I honestly want to meet you in person but that’s a conversation for another day. I’ve been saving up for it. Maybe you should come during the spring? You’d love it here, I know it. Or I could come to you? Whatever, we can talk about it more over the phone.

My phone number:

(718)-XXX-XXXX

Call me;)

Love always,

Peter ♥

You immediately spring up to your feet and grab your phone. Your hands were shaking as you dialed the number and called it, praying he wouldn’t think it was a spam call.

“Pete?” You ask, voice higher than you meant it to be.

Boyish laughter erupts on the other end of the line, and you already know that it’s Peter. Of course, his laugh would sound so sweet.

“Hi, lovie.”

#tasm peter parker #tasm peter #peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker smut #mcu peter x reader #mcu peter parker #writing #ao3 #art #poetry #fanfiction writer #fanfiction #literature #writers on tumblr #poem #writers and poets #across the spider verse spoilers #spiderman atsv #spiderman

[silverfoxstole]

It’s done!

After ten days of work (and another three for a waistcoat I’m not that happy with; see below), the NotD coat is finished! Woohoo!

Overall, I’m really pleased with it, which is just as well as it’s taken so much time (and grief!). I worked out that if I’d paid myself minimum wage for all the hours I put in the labour alone would amount to about £500. One of my ex colleagues used to suggest I set up a dressmaking business and wouldn’t believe me when I told her it wouldn’t be cost effective as the amount of labour involved would make everything too expensive.

Anyway, I have taken quite a lot of photos, so you can see how it turned out:

This got long so I’ll stick the rest behind a cut.

I ended up adding some extra fabric to the tails, as they were sticking out at an angle and didn’t look right. It means an extra seam but it’s not that visible and I much prefer it this way, with more fullness at the back (and it properly covers my bum, which is very important!):

Though it looks fine on the dummy when I put it on I’m not convinced I didn’t raise the back waist seam a bit too far, but it’s sitting on my waist so… *shrugs* I don’t often look at myself from behind so it probably doesn’t matter that much.

After sewing on the two back buttons I changed my mind and went with the covered ones in the end, deciding on reflection that those I bought last week were a bit too pale. They would have fitted better if I’d made the binding more of a contrast (which I’m glad I didn’t as it would have been more obvious that it’s not exactly perfect in some places). I had to make the buttonholes manually as there was no way the automatic buttonhole foot wouldn’t get caught at some point. I haven’t sewn any that way since I first started out six years ago and was using my mother’s old machine! All the ones I’ve owned have had an automatic function so I had to practice a bit to remind myself how to do it. Thankfully they’ve turned out well.

I also solved the problem of the gap between the collar and lapel by stitching them together. It works a treat!

Though I’ve made a miniature version for Eight Bear, this is the first time I’ve tried to replicate an existing garment for myself (the Dark Eyes coat was an interpretation rather than a direct copy), and I am actually really proud that I’ve ended up with something that does look pretty much like the original, as well as Steven Ricks’s recreation, which has been a definite influence!

That said, while the coat has turned out well I’m not massively pleased with the waistcoat. I decided to make another one on a whim as I had a more accurate pattern and saw what looked like an ideal fabric but I don’t like it all that much now it’s done. It was hell to put together because the satin just started disintegrating and still is; I’ve had to sew up holes in both the pockets because the seams have just frayed straight through and I’d put them together before I thought of stabilising the edges with interfacing. It’s another men’s pattern and I should have made some adjustments but after doing so much to the coat I really couldn’t be bothered and just put it together as it was; I should really have added some length, which is ironic given the amount I had to remove from the coat, and perhaps levelled it off at the front. Consequently it’s not a great fit and sits really awkwardly on Stella as you can see, though that may have something to do with the fact that I put the buttonholes on the wrong side out of habit:

There is a watch on the end of the chain this time, because the pockets are real! I quite like the look of the waistcoat undone when I put it on, but done up not so much. There’s a lot of spare fabric in the front for some reason, which I tried to hide by smoothing it under the collar and then stitching the collar down. It hasn’t entirely worked, and it doesn’t help that the brocade is such a bouncy fabric and doesn’t press well.

Putting it all together I do think it looks better on Stella than me, but that’s probably because I rarely wear so many layers! I wish I had a better backdrop than the bedroom but it’ll have to do:

Maybe I could unbutton the waistcoat and untuck the shirt and be Eight having a casual day? I love the coat but I do feel much more comfortable wearing it over a t-shirt and jeans!

Now I just have to wait until some cooler weather to be able to put it into use. My only gripe is that there are no external pockets, either on the original or the pattern I used! Surely you’d think the Doctor would need pockets?

#sfs’s adventures in sewing #night of the doctor coat #doctor who #eighth doctor #8th doctor #costume making #sewing #dressmaking #frock coat #waistcoat #there’s a very good reason i never wear tops tucked in #i have next to no waist #definitely prefer it with jeans!

[lyricalive]

We spend our whole lives waiting for the stars to align, but maybe it's already happened.  The fated alignment of me, and her, and me.

——Say, Renko.  Have you ever heard the legend of the purple mirror?

幻想惑星直列 〜 Phantasmal Syzygy

#01  The Mystery in Your Town

    – "11:59:55..."

    – "Huh?"

    – "And there it is, 12 o'clock!  Happy birthday, Merry!"

My name is Maéreverie Hearn, but I've become far more used to the nickname given to me by my club partner.  On top of nearly forgetting my own name, I'd also nearly managed to forget my own birthday.  Between odd course schedules and late-night excursions, it's a bit hard to keep track of the days.

    – "Oh, so it is."

    – "Hm...  Even though I say 'happy,' you don't look too happy about it."

My partner, Renko Usami, rests her cheek upon her fist as she sees through my forced smile.  I wave my hand dismissively at her concern.

    – "Well, it's not like I was born at exactly midnight.  No need to celebrate prematurely."

    – "What time was it, then?"

    – "How should I remember?"

    – "Do you happen to have a photo of your birth?  Maybe I can tell from the sky."

    – "I wasn't born out in the wilderness, you know!"

The special ability of Renko's unusual eyes is to tell the exact time by looking at the stars and the exact location by looking at the moon.  Studying photographs for this information is how we've gotten our leads for various occult investigations, but there are limits to its practical usage.

Even so, I treasure those eyes very much.

She goes on for a bit, pestering me to call my family overseas to ask for this trivia, which I defiantly refuse.  Any contact with them feels like a distant past that I have no wish to go back to.  I moved to this faraway country for a reason.  That reason was to learn more about my own unsettling eyes, something I always expected to do quietly and alone until Renko came along.

It's surprising to think that's it's only been three years... or three years already.

#02  Higan Retour ~ Riverside View

Three years ago.

It was shortly after our trip to the ghostly field at Rendaino, where we got our first glimpse of another world together.  On the heels of this, one of our earliest successes, Renko had insisted that we carry on the momentum full-force.

She decided to investigate a certain abandoned shrine that cropped up a lot in her stash of old photos.  Her source for these photos seemed sketchy to me at the time, though there's plenty of evidence for their validity by now.

I remember the silhouette of the shrine building, looming just a short way back over my shoulder.  Surrounded by trees and moonlit darkness, Renko pulls me along by the hand, as she always does.  Then she suddenly stops, narrowing her eyes at the moon in the sky.

    – "The area here is so strange.  We've been walking for almost an hour, but we've barely changed location."

    – "Are you sure you're not just navigationally challenged?"

    – "What are you talking about?  I'm a human GPS!"

    – "You're also a human clock, yet you were late to our meeting today."

    – "Touché."

I used to be rather harsh with my teasing, didn't I?  Nowadays, she's usually the one who teases me instead.

    – "Still, it feels odd to me too.  Hakurei Shrine…  We keep cycling back to it somehow."

    – "Hey, Merry.  Do you know about Zeno's paradox?"

    – "Zeno's paradox?  The name sounds familiar."

    – "It has to do with the infinite nature of limits... the phenomenon of getting closer to the goal, but never reaching it.  I strongly suspect that's what's happening here."

    – "Are you saying this barrier is impossible to cross?"

Renko shakes her head with the absolute confidence I've since come to expect from her.

    – "Of course not.  Not for us, anyway."

The sparkle in her eyes as she says this is as bright and vivid as a dream.

Despite her confidence, we didn't end up solving the mystery that day.  That's usually how our club adventures go.  We spent some time searching the shrine, and we took home a souvenir that we found in the ruins for further study.  Just a small hand mirror, silver-rimmed, not particularly valuable.

But for its own sake... it was fun.  Although we couldn't get close to our destination, I think it brought the two of us closer.  And with that, subtly, something important shifted in my perception.

    – "Let's keep searching together, until we find it!"

No matter who or what may be manipulating the distance, the other side must exist somewhere.  There's a part of me that wants to get there, no matter what.  And there's also a part of me that doesn't want the search to end.

It's as if Renko brings forth a new definition of "dream."

Come to think of it, it was rather soon after this excursion that I started experiencing my first strange dreams…

#03  Gensokyo, Past and Present ~ Flower Land

    – "Is there anything you want as a birthday present, Merry?"

    – "Yes, there is.  An eight-tier cake with gourmet chocolate and genuine fruit toppings."

    – "Darn.  I think our local café is fresh out…"

With a smirk, Renko turns the joke on me as expected.

    – "Hee-hee, I'm just kidding.  I don't need anything in particular."

    – "Aw, don't give me that.  There must be something."

I put my hand to my chin and think a little more deeply.  What is it that I want…?

To be honest, the certain circumstances of today have made me somehow anxious about getting through the night.  So, as mawkish as it may be, the best gift that I could receive is just the comfort of her presence.

    – "Well… I suppose it would be nice if we shared a good dream tonight."

It hardly sounds like a request worthy of a special occasion.  I can visit dreams at any time.

In fact, it's grown increasingly natural to visit this one particular world every time I close my eyes.  Overflowing fields of golden flowers… cool air stirred by a wind god's wings… the sound of younthful fairies' laughter… and bright sparks of fireworks even against the daylight sky.

Whenever I think about it, this is definitely where I want to be.  It's such an amazing place that I could almost lose myself in it.  I could almost forget to wake up.

That is, until I remember Renko waiting for me in reality.  It's awfully ironic that Renko was the one who inspired me to be so interested in my own dreams, by showing me how much fun they can be to chase.  Yet she's also the reason I fear them most—the fear of being apart from her.

Then, the ideal dream is one where she and I can explore it together.  That's what makes this request special.

Maybe it's selfish of me to want the best of both worlds.  My heart aches to imagine ever having to choose.

Of course, if it came down to it, my choice would be…

    – "Let's do that!  It would be my pleasure!"

I smile at her earnestness, and wonder why we don't take advantage of this method far more often.  It's as simple as holding her close while we sleep, placing my hands over her eyes...

As soon as we turn out the lights, the mood of the room shifts.  We lay down on our sides, and I feel the curve of her warm body against mine.  I slip my arms past her waist, bending them up toward her face, and rest the palms gently on her eyelids.

And so, as Renko and I go to sleep together that night, we share a dream.

However... in the world we see, there are no fireworks, no fields of flowers or fairies playing.

There is only, against a twilight sky, a strange woman with a parasol standing before a vaguely familiar shrine gate.

#04  Eternal Spring Dream

Three days ago.

During one of many perfectly average meetings set in the clubroom of our university, Renko and I are engaged in conversation.  Because it's only the two of us in such a wide room, the space between the walls seems cavernous, like even a whisper would echo all the way across.

    – "I've been doing more research on the dream realm."

    – "Research, meaning...?"

    – "These notes."

Of course, she means the thorough collection of notes that can be sourced back to the Secret Sealing Club of a former era.  They were originally digital files, but Renko had printed them out for the convenience, and perhaps for the aesthetic, of tactile experience.  For a modern girl, she has some surprisingly old-fashioned values.

    – "Is it that theory again?  About the dream self?"

    – "It is.  Supposedly, every person alive has a corresponding dream self."

She straightens her tie with nimble fingers and prepares to explain.

    – "The dream self is almost identical to the person it belongs to—except that it carries their deepest and most repressed wishes, which explains how unrestrained people act in their dreams."

    – "Essentially, it's a self with fewer boundaries."

I have to chime in, because she's overstepping my specialty a bit.  The psychology of the self is something I've studied a lot.  Of course, it's a study that tends to lead fruitlessly in circles.

A person's unique consciousness is born from their choices under free will.  At the same time, people have thoughts that they choose not to act upon, which remain within the subconscious.

But because those hidden thoughts and wishes do exist, there must also exist some quantum reality in which the person consciously chooses such thoughts.  So, the person who would have been born from the choices which you didn't make, but which you could have made... but which you did make, sometime and somewhere...  Calling this a different person is pure semantics, right?

Well, I suppose that the quantum entanglement of multiple possible realities is Renko's specialty, too.  So I let her continue.

    – "Something like that.  This similar yet distinct entity is the one who actually experiences the physical events in the dream realm."

    – "I'm not sure if I follow.  In the first place, I still have scars on my own body from things that happened in my dreams."

    – "Exactly.  So here's the question raised by that contradiction:  Assuming there is supposed to be a different body taking the hits for you…  Where exactly is it?  Where is your dream self?"

    – "Ah, I see...  Maybe my dream self is off playing hooky somewhere, and I'm being forced to take her place."

    – "Right.  It really would explain a lot about the way you experience dreams compared to everyone else!"

    – "Oh, but you know me.  I'm so well-behaved.  No version of me would ever be so irresponsible."

    – "Ha ha!  I'll give you credit; that was a good joke."

    – "You aren't supposed to laugh that quickly!  How rude."

Despite protesting, I giggle along with her.  Within a few minutes, though, her expression grows serious again.

    – "There's also another way of looking at it."

    – "What's that?"

    – "Think about it, Merry.  What is it that you always say?"

    – "…"

    – "'Dreams and reality are the same.'  If this is your objective truth, then..."

    – "Then, my dream self is..."

Just me...?

    – "Crazy, right?  I still think there's got to be some consistent logic to dreams.  But the way your dreams work doesn't make any sense.  If only one person in the whole world could be an exception to the rule, it's you."

Renko flips the page of printed materials, eyes wildly scanning it all over.  I don't really know what to make of all these theories right away, so all I can do is look down at the documents.

Most of the text on the pages is typewritten, as if on a word-processing application.  But there are a few lines scribbled along the side of the document in very messy handwriting, perhaps via a tablet's touch screen.  I've never focused on those lines before.

I tilt my head to try and make out the words, which Renko doesn't seem to be acknowledging as anything but random symbols.

    – "Purple... mirror."

    – "What's that, Merry?"

    – "Mm, nothing."

The words that I was casually reading didn't mean anything to me at the time.  But they lingered in my mind long enough that I decide to type them into a search engine that night.

...A terrible choice.  The search results send a chill down my spine.

Which brings me back to my terribly anxious feeling on the present day.

#05  Charming Domination ~ Who Done It?

We awaken from our dream.  With a heavy exhale, my bedfellow stretches her arms high in the air, rustling the pillows beneath us.

Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy the dream as much as I hoped I would.

    – "She was there.  A beautiful woman with blonde hair.  You saw her, right?"

I rub my cloudy eyes as I try my best to recall the image.  In the dream, we had tried to approach the woman, at Renko's insistence.  But no matter how far we walked, we never seemed to get any closer.  It was as if the stone path at our feet were a travelator conveying us in the opposite direction.

Her demeanor dark and solemn, the woman didn't seem to acknowledge us at all.  Eventually, she folded her parasol without a word and vanished into the shadows.

    – "You say beautiful, but she seemed pretty nasty to me."

    – "What do you mean, nasty?"

Most disgusting, the parts of yourself that you don't want to see.

    – "..."

I open my mouth to speak.  But the words that had come to mind are so unintelligible, I have no reason to say them.  These intrusive thoughts have been bothering me more and more lately, and I can't understand where they're coming from.

    – "There was an aura of elegance and mystery.  She was so captivating; I couldn't take my eyes off of her."

    – "All right already.  You don't have to obsess about her."

Renko laughs, a sharp and carefree laugh.

    – "Merry, don't tell me you're jealous."

    – "Huh...?"

My cheeks grow warm at the accusation.  Is that really what I'm feeling?  How silly, to be jealous of an image from a dream...  Surely, that's all she is to Renko.

The problem is that I sensed something off about her... in a much different way than anything else.  Her expression as she stood before us in that dream was difficult to read.  Lonely?  Somber?  …Menacing?  I couldn't trust her.  Or maybe that's just my excuse.  I pout stubbornly.

    – "You know, she kind of reminded me of you.  But don't worry.  It can't beat the real thing."

'Real'...  It's always such a funny word to hear.  I don't think I'll ever quite wrap my head around just how she uses it.  After all, to me, dreams and reality are the same.

That makes this scary person all the scarier.

#06  Yorimashi Between Dreams and Reality ~ Necro-Fantasia

    – "Hmph!  I'm telling you, I don't think that person and I had anything in common."

I feel the need to exaggerate this, in order to make myself feel better.

    – "Eh?  Take a look in a mirror.  I swear it was your eyes, mostly, that seemed so similar."

Never one for talk without action, she quickly begins scavenging around for a mirror.  Conveniently, there happens to be one resting in the top drawer of the bedside dresser.  I recognize the object that she withdraws.

    – "Oh.  That's the magic item we used at the bar."

Our riskiest club activity to date, we had visited a shady tavern and entertained its patrons with visions of other worlds, reflected right in this silver mirror.

    – "Well, we told them it was a magic item, but it's just an old relic we borrowed from a shrine a long time ago."

    – "Borrowing something usually means you bring it back at some point."

    – "Irrelevant.  The point is, it was only magic because of your abilities.  You can use it for everyday purposes too."

I wonder about her words as I glance into the mirror.  The picture is blurry at first, maybe because I'm still drowsy from sleep.  I try my best to focus.

Staring into the glass, I recognize the shape of my face, round cheeks thinning into a dull point.  Wavy blonde hair falls over my thick eyebrows.

And below that... Renko often compares my eyes to a kaleidoscope.  Changing with the light at different times of day, the color is always a surprise, even to me.  Bright gold, vivid red, calm blue.  I widen them for a clearer analysis, letting the light absorb into them.

Right now, the deep color I see is...

 I am you, but you are not me.

No.  Something's not right.

My fingers began to tremble in a way I can't control.  Instinctively, I draw in a sharp gasp of breath.

    – "Ah, careful!"

Renko's arms wrap around mine, her tight grip steadying the object before it drops.  I let out my held breath in a dramatic rush as I jolt my head in her direction.

She's gazing back at me.  The moment that I can see myself reflected in her own dark brown eyes instead of in the mirror, somehow, it calms me down.  I relax against her grip.

    – "…Thank you.  I don't know what got into me."

She removes the glass from my hands and places it safely back on the dresser before leaning in for a peck on my forehead.

    – "Never mind, Merry.  On second thought, it's like... the difference between a binary star and an optical double."

    – "Huh?"

    – "In celestial astronomy, two bodies may seem to overlap, even though they're actually be very far apart."

    – "By that, you mean..."

    – "You and the dream-you aren't even comparable after all."

Her analogies are roundabout, but her logic is straightforward as ever.

    – "Mm.  Well, congratulations on your good taste."

#07  Romantic Escape Flight

It's the morning after our dream, the morning of my birthday, and classes will be starting in a few hours.  There isn't a single part of me that feels motivated to do something as mundane as listen to lectures.  I linger idly in front of the closet as Renko uses my bathroom to brush her teeth.

From the rack, I choose a dress in my typical style, which is a rather atypical style for our era.  Living chronologically is overrated, isn't it?  The charming frills and lavender color are timeless, in my opinion.  I'm not thinking very deeply about it at the moment, though, as I half-heartedly pull the collar over my head.

    – "Backwards, Merry."

    – "Eh?"

    – "You're a grown adult now.  The only ones allowed to wear their clothes reversed are little kids and reflections in the mirror."

    – "Very funny."

Renko, finished with her own preparations, hovers behind me with an air of that playful tone I know her for.  I immediately pull my arms back through the sleeves and adjust my mistake.  But by the time I finish flipping my hair out of the collar and glance back at Renko, her tone has shifted.

    – "Hey, ever since last night…  No, even before then, you've been a little off.  There must be something big on your mind."

Renko is always very physically observant of her surroundings, but she picks only the strangest times to be emotionally observant as well.  In this case, she isn't wrong.  I must be making it all too obvious.

    – "Sort of.  Say, Renko…"

Have you heard the legend of—

Wait, no!  That's not what I want to say.  It's the very last thing I want to say!

    – "Huh?"

    – "Ugh, I'm sorry.  It's… something I really can't talk about."

Even as they leave my mouth, I know I've chosen the wrong words.  These words will only pique Renko's curiosity all the more.

    – "But we're partners, aren't we?  You can tell me anything!"

    – "It's not that I'm trying to keep a secret.  It's... complicated."

    – "I'm pretty smart, you know.  Maybe I can help figure it out."

I know.  The problem is she's so studious that, if I mention it, she'd certainly start researching it immediately.  Renko is someone who believes that all knowledge is good.  But I've read enough horror stories to know that the most curious one is always the first to fall.

    – "I'll tell you tomorrow, all right?  I promise.  Today, I really need to clear it from my mind."

Renko blinks a few times before her lips curve into a frown.  She beholds me with a somewhat pitying expression, clearly not understanding how I could be so negative on such a positive day.  She reaches up gently and rests one hand on my right shoulder.

    – "Merry.  Could it be... you're afraid of getting older?"

#08  Voyage 1970

Am I afraid...?  Is that part of why I've been feeling so strange?  Twenty years isn't even all that old in our modern era where such long lifespans are possible.

Besides, age is just a number.  It's always been difficult for humans to come to a consensus on when a person has fully matured.  The age of attending school, the age of drinking alcohol—all of these things change with society.  And yet, based on the development of the brain, modern psychology still might not consider me an adult.

I believe, and my partner would surely agree, that the best measure of life is by the knowledge we gain and the experiences we have.  If that's the case, shouldn't I be excited to grow up?

Well, it's not that simple.  The state of the body, the state of the mind, and the state of the world that continues to change with time all affect the opportunities to experience things.  If I'm being honest, my ideal might be to freeze time and remain on this very boundary of childhood of adulthood, where it seems like every opportunity is offered at once.

Oh.  Renko asked me a question, didn't she?

    – "Not at all~  I've decided, I'm going to be eternally seventeen."

My partner's grin returns.  She seems satisfied with my genuinely positive answer.

    – "Seventeen, huh?  Nice choice.  You'll have good physical fitness, and you'll never see a single gray hair."

    – "That's not really why...  Seventeen was freshman year.  That was my age when we met.  It was an interesting year for me."

The year of our partnership.  The year of our first club activity.  The year of my first strange dream.  My life changed so much.  It began to feel like the life I want.

    – "Then, let's keep living it!"

At her words, I feel a mischievous smile cross my lips, boosting my spirits.  Though I didn't know it before, I realize that this is exactly what I hoped to hear from her.

I want to keep living it right now.

    – "…Hey, Renko.  Are you up for playing hooky today?"

[Intermission]  Last Occultism ~ Esotericist of the Present World

You there.  The one who is so interested in urban legends.

...Hm?  There's no need for that frightened face.  The incident has been long resolved, so I'm not angry with you anymore.

In fact, in exchange for all the fascinating tales you brought to us, I simply wanted to offer you one to take back home in return.

Have you heard the legend of the purple mirror?

Here is a small warning in advance:  Those under a certain age, you might want to cover your ears now.

Oh, my, did that make you all the more intrigued?

This story is about a sickly girl, who spent most of her life being treated for her strange illness.

When she was young, her parents gave her a gift—a beautiful antique hand-mirror that had been passed down for generations.  She always carried it with her, and treasured it dearly.  When she looked in the mirror, despite the unpleasant effects of her ailments on her body, she was able to see herself as beautiful.

However, one morning, just short of her 20th birthday, she found that the metallic rim around the glass had been painted purple.  She had no recollection of making this change herself.  But those around her had witnessed her in the act, eyes focused, paintbrush in hand.  They had even heard her give a very clear reason in her own words—simply, "I love the color purple!"

Having no recollection of the trancelike state in which she had done this, the girl was frightened.  Her illness began to worsen, and her mental state began to deteriorate.  From then on, when she looked in the mirror, she no longer saw herself as beautiful.

What did she see instead?  That much is unclear, but it can only be assumed that it was something far more terrifying.  In her impulsive fear, she threw the mirror to the ground and smashed it to pieces.  No longer was she able to see anything at all.

The day before what would have been her coming-of-age ceremony, she locked herself in her room, repeating the words, "Purple mirror.  Purple mirror.  Purple mirror"—over and over again.  Ah, how her loved ones blustered with concern!  But alas, there was no longer anything they could do to help.

These were the last words ever heard from the sickly girl.  She passed away in her sleep before she could ever see her 20th year.

Through the intense feelings of this young woman, these words now carry a strong curse.  Just by hearing them, dear listener, I'm afraid you are also in danger.  It is said that, if one still remembers this story by the time of their 20th birthday, they shall suffer the same premature fate.

The moral of the story is…  Oh.

Why, how embarrassing.  I seem to have completely forgotten my own point.

I'll leave it to you.  What do you think is the lesson here?

#09  Eternal Shrine Maiden

    – "Hakurei Shrine.  It seems like fate keeps leading us back here."

We're lucky to have caught a train that got us all the way up to the mountain within the hour.  We had a small bit of hiking to do, just like last time.  I end up less winded, so I must have gotten a bit more in shape over these few years of excursions.

Still, no amount of stamina could clear this endless path.  This is as close as we're likely to get.

    – "I remember this like it was just yesterday, and the mysterious way that the scenery kept looping."

The shrine grounds are overgrown and abandoned.  But there is a sort of lively spirit that shines through it.  Even if that liveliness is not the truth of this world, my eyes must be seeing the truth somewhere...

The iconic gate, more rust-colored than red, and asymmetrically inclined with age, welcomes us into the only landmark of an area on the otherwise unbounded premises.

    – "We know, from last time, that the area out further than this is protected by some sort of illusion."

    – "Mm..."

    – "But maybe there's an alternate way through?  A clue we didn't find yet inside the shrine building.  A key, or a back door..."

It's a fine idea.  But there is something else on my mind to do first.  Something I want to return, rather than something I want to take.

My eyes gravitate toward the central altar of the shrine.  On the altar, above the cracked remains of an empty donation box, there is an empty space.  A small metal stand, resting upon on a jutting wooden shelf.

    – "The stand is still here, just as we last saw it."

    – "Ah!  This is where we found that useful souvenir last time."

Renko approaches the altar, and instinctively assumes the position to make a prayer.

I follow after her, wondering whether I ought to have a specific prayer in mind.  Or is it all right if it's just a ceremonious gesture?

I clap my hands together twice, and close my eyes.

#10  Swim in a Sakura-Colored Sea

After making the prayer, I take a moment to look around.

Framed parallel around the altar are two large moss-covered statues, whose forms are difficult to make out.  But I'm rather sure that they're supposed to be Chinese lion dogs, guardians of the sacred building.

    – "Take a look at these statues, Merry.  They're kind of cute."

    – "I agree.  The moss looks a bit like shaggy green fur."

From her bulky dark-colored backpack, which she brings along on every excursion, Renko takes out a camera phone.  She then stretches her arm forward, so that the front screen faces the both of us while capturing the scene of the shrine altar in the background.

    – "Merry, look this way.  Say ah~un!"

    – "Ah~..."

    – "Un!"

Once she's snapped the photo, I rest my chin on her shoulder to look at the image on the screen.  Renko and I appear comfortably in the center, and the two statues appear on either side of the frame.

Traditionally, these guardians are supposed to be facing perfectly forward, on vigilant alert.  But amidst the dilapidation of the shrine, the ground beneath the statues' bases has shifted so that they are slightly skewed.

    – "How funny.  They're turned in opposite directions."

Komainu are a symbol of duality.  Rather than being two separate creatures, these dogs are actually two halves of the same divine beast.

What an interesting perspective that sort of existence must offer.  You might think that a single being can't look both ways at once, and yet...

I'm reminded of the task I wanted to do.  From my own knapsack, I retrieve the old silver-rimmed souvenir that used to be stowed in our bedside dresser drawer.

#11  Ore From the Age of the Gods

    – "Renko.  I think we should—"

Before I can speak, our attention is distracted.

Seemingly cast from behind, an odd shadow crosses our line of sight, streaking quickly over the mossy stone path.

    – "Huh?  What's that?"

By the time we turn around, whatever had cast the shadow is gone.

My brow furrows with a bit of concern, as I brush a lock of hair nervously behind my ear and inch closer to Renko's side.

    – "I'm not sure...  Such a vague shadow could be just about anything."

    – "So it was vague to you too.  I thought maybe you saw it differently."

    – "I'm afraid not."

    – "Well.  If Merry's eyes didn't see it, we can probably conclude it's nothing important."

    – "...Hm-hm."

I graciously accept the unbounded faith that Renko has in me.  It makes me feel at ease.

    – "It's frustrating to be teased, though.  The shape of a shadow is always only one half of the picture."

    – "Mm..."

My partner brings her hand to her chin, the gears in her mind turning as always.

    – "Hey, Merry.  Do you know about Plato's cave?"

    – "Plato's cave.  Yes, I'm familiar with that one."

    – "When people are stuck in a cave, instead of seeing what's happening outside, all they can see are shadows on the wall."

    – "And they have no choice but to assume that to be their reality."

    – "You know, I've always wondered.  In that allegory, what exactly is keeping them from just leaving the cave?"

I smile at Renko's simplistic sense of determination.  If all of humanity shared this enlightened straightforward attitude, philosophy would come to an end as quickly as physics has.

    – "If they aren't physically imprisoned, it must just be their own minds trapping them there.  I suppose that's the whole point."

    – "In other legends, the goddess Amaterasu was said to be stuck in a cave for a long time.  Do you remember what it was that lured her out?"

    – "Let me think.  She came outside because she thought she saw a brand-new god waiting outside to meet her.  Though it was actually just... a mirror."

Renko closes her eyes thoughtfully for a moment, then breaks into an amused smile.

    – "What an interesting lesson.  Sometimes, the way to the truth is through an illusion."

I glance down at the mirror in my hands.  It's such a timeless symbol.  We used this mirror to see images of the dream world... which makes sense, because a mirror itself is a boundary.

In ancient times, the very first human who saw themselves in a mirror reflection of water must have been very shocked.  The shock of seeing the other side of reality, that fear of boundaries, created something that echoed through time.

And the truth that you acknowledge echoes back.

...Something's wrong.

Once again, something is in my thoughts.

Something that I'm not quite sure is me.

#12  Ultimate Truth

I gaze into the glass of the mirror.

I'm uncomfortable looking at it, but at the same time, it feels like I need to.

Perhaps you should look closer.

Violet eyes stare back at me.  The image looks more dissimilar to me than it does similar.

Where are these thoughts coming from?  For the moment, it's the only voice I can hear.

Perhaps you should look away.

The thought immediately contradicts itself.  I don't understand...

My body is stiffly frozen in place, as I don't know which thoughts to follow.

This world exists for you to chase.

This mirror, we determined, was not a magic item.

So I don't believe the mirror is talking to me...

It must be because there is a strong spiritual sense in the air around this shrine, that my own perception is drastically acting up.

It also exists because you chase it.

This is a paradox.  A sort of riddle.

In a daze, entirely spacing out from my surroundings, I seem to have nothing better to do than to ponder this riddle.

    – "...?"

I'm reminded of something I once learned... about a certain definition of "dream."

Something that you want to reach—but it can only be called a "dream" because you haven't reached it.

The answer to the paradox might be a dream, or an illusion.  Like the dreamlike scenes that have appeared in this glass before.

Yet, I cannot allow you to chase too freely.

If contaminants get mixed in, they've got to be eliminated.

Without averting my eyes from the mirror, I mumble under my breath another paradox that I've heard recently.

    – "I am you, but you are not me...  ...!!"

With a sharp pang, I feel a pressure in my head, and a tightening in my chest.

I can't be sure if something external is affecting me, or if the charged atmosphere is compounding my own anxieties.  About this mirror.  About this day.  About myself.

    – "Merry!?  What's the matter?"

Renko's voice pierces through to my ears—

—as she draws her face close enough to mine to see herself in the mirror, too, to see what I'm seeing.

The thick strands of her brown hair, tied loosely in a red ribbon, are dangling next to my cheek.

Her eyes, those eyes that I so treasure, are open wide and round.

Catching small rays of the sun, which is just now beginning to set, I can see specks on light like stars glittering inside of them...

My star.  Like a binary star, bound by gravity.

    – "...Renko."

I watch the mouth of my reflection form the syllables of her name.

Even though the mirror image is backwards... it's showing me the truth.

Somehow, I can recognize my own face looking back at me more clearly when it's by her side.

Of course, this face is Merry Hearn, the dream-chasing member of the Secret Sealing Club.

This is just one tiny corner of reality.  But I you will do everything in my your power to defend it.

...

I calmly lower the mirror, and turn decisively to my partner.

    – "Renko...  I'm fine.  I was just thinking about how we need to return this mirror we borrowed."

    – "Oh?"

    – "There are other treasures out there.  Let's return it now."

After a moment to process my words, Renko sighs with a chuckle.

    – "I see...  I figured that's part of why you wanted to come.  I guess you are a well-behaved young lady after all."

#13  A Dream Transcending Space-Time

    – "11:59, and... 12 o'clock!"

    – "Ah...  It's finally over."

    – "And a very merry un-birthday to you."

The sky hangs dark with midnight.  The moon is at apogee, its farthest point—or so says my astronomy-loving partner.  It's hard to believe, but we had spent all day at this shrine.

Now we lay flat on our backs, in the patchy, withered grass on its abandoned outskirts.

    – "It was an unexpectedly pleasant day, thanks to you."

    – "Even if the professor's going to be upset when we get back, it was worth it."

    – "I think she'll understand.  If only the school would allow it, she'd be all for the idea of field trips."

Renko rolls over on her side, resting her cheek on one hand.

    – "So, Merry, you were going to tell me something once the day passed."

    – "Oh?  Was I?"

I glance at her, my chin tilted with a hint of confusion.

    – "You were!  I've been waiting so patiently.  Don't try to hide it now."

    – "Sorry, Renko.  I honestly don't know what you mean.  I can't think of anything I wanted to say!"

Maybe I had left the thought behind, along with other things, at the altar of the shrine.  If they happen to be important, maybe I'll have the experience of learning them all over again.

    – "Well, you'd better spill it as soon as you remember.  More to the point, though, how are you feeling?"

    – "Mm.  I feel refreshed...  Lighter somehow."

    – "That makes sense.  You did say that you aged down to seventeen.  That must be a nice feeling."

    – "Hee-hee."

It's time to return home.  I brush the dust off my clothes as I rise to my feet.  And I take one last peek over my shoulder.

The old mirror is carefully placed back on the sacred shelf, where we first found it, and it radiates a glossy shine under the dim starlight.

Renko joins me in this farewell gaze... but before we turn our backs to it completely, she does a quick double-take.

    – "…Wait, huh?  Was the rim like that before?"

    – "Hm?"

    – "Did you paint that yourself?"

I squint my eyes at the object from a distance, admiring the detail I see.

    – "Oh.  I don't quite remember that either."

    – "How strange..."

    – "But that's all right.  I love the color purple!"

Afterwords

With a clear barrier, we must keep dream and reality separate.  Wasn't that your her  idea, after all?

Our relationship will be… as humans and youkai have always been.  A duel, a mirror existence.

Finally, I get to express my most anticlimactic but satisfying wish:  for the Hifuu Club's everyday lives to never end.

I can't bring myself to process Merry and Yukari as the same chronological person—to imagine Merry actually turning into Yukari.  But I obviously want a satisfying explanation about their relationship.  That is...

Yukari is Merry's "dream self"—by definition, though not in practice.  A dream self, representing one's deepest and repressed wishes, including the desire to cross into fantasy.  Ironically, Renko awakened this desire as much as tearing her from it.  And Renko was the one, in "Changeability of Strange Dream," who suggested the need to keep dream and reality separate.  The same ideal that shapes the formation of Gensokyo.

There are many ambiguous details left to interpret about how and when things may have happened for these two entities to coexist.  Regardless, the important thing to me is that "Merry" will always be her own chronological character.  The character of Merry, defined through the concept of her togetherness with Renko, stays consistent when you focus on that reality.  The character of Yukari, defined by the concept of "Gensokyo," does the same.  One does not replace the other.  In parallel alignment, in syzygy.

This relationship is specifically not a "one-way street."  The road goes both ways, and the two sides have crucial roles to uphold.  In the same way that spell card duels in Gensokyo are intentioned to maintain an ongoing balance, rather than a war that decisively must be won, I think the struggle between Merry and Yukari is not meant to be settled.  This is a tone that makes sense for the open-ended presentation of the series, but also in-universe.  If the Hifuu Club remains constantly on the border of discovery, they will thrive on their curiosity while successfully preserving the mystique of fantasy.

The story adapted here in the interlude is an actual existing urban legend with many variations, all known as "The Purple Mirror."  As soon as I found out this existed, I was personally flabbergasted and offended that I had not seen it used in Yukaribel context just for the name alone!  Incidentally, the style of the legend's telling was trying a bit to evoke the narrative tone of Lafcadio Hearn's "Stories and Studies of Strange Things."

Thank you very much for reading!

Hifuu CD-style stories:

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  自封夢幻 〜 Sentimental Reverie

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  陶然夢幻 〜 Transcendental Revelry

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  羨望横断 〜 Unenviable Crossroads

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  外来土産 〜 Adventive Reminiscence

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3] 中古技術 〜 Electric Spirit Seance

»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  幻想惑星直列 〜 Phantasmal Syzygy

#touhou #renko usami #maribel hearn #renmerry #yukari yakumo #yukaribel #fanfiction #sjsfgsd i have a lot to catch up on posting... but... #this is a fic i wanted to post today! #on lafcadio hearn's birthday #i hope you'll accept my extremely uneventful yet intensely thematic 'good end' yukaribel fan theory

[earthnashes]

Heyoooo everyone! I’m gonna gush a little bit about my gym rat hobby so please feel free to ignore me! I’m just super excited with the results I got this week. :)

For those of ya who are curious:

As of this coming April, I’d have been weight training consistently for a year. The past 5 weeks I entered a prep block to get myself prepared, and this week was the self-appointed Personal Record test I set for myself. The goal of the test is to... well. TEST how strong I’d become and the progress I made in comparison to when I first started out by finding my 1 Rep Max (and in the case of pullups, how many I can do before I can’t do anymore in one go).

The lifts I used for the testing were Barbell Bench Press, Deadlifts, and Pullups. I would’ve also tested for Squats but an old injury in my knee started acting up, so for my own safety I opted against it until I can retrain it and try later at the end of the year.

ANYWAY! The results of those tests are:

Bench Press: Last 1RM-150lbs | Current 1RM- 170lbs

Deadlift: Last 1RM- 210lbs | Current 1RM- 265lbs

Pullups: Last max: 0 pullups unassisted | Current max: 9 pullups unassisted

-----------

Numbers aren’t necessarily important in the grand scheme of things, BUT they’re very good for me to know in order to calculate how much I should be lifting in order to become stronger and for how many reps/sets, as well as giving me an additional visual representation of the progress I’m making outside of photos.

I am naturally competitive --specifically toward myself-- so what I see when looking at these numbers is defaulting to “Cool but now I need to get stronger”. But I’m trying to make myself take a step back and actually appraise the progress I’ve made thus far and to remember to be proud of it, even if it may not feel like I made a lot of progress at all.

And taking that step back: overall? I’m very happy with the results! And quite frankly very surprised. I went into the test with base goals and trying to be open that there’s a very high likelihood of failing to reach those goal PRs this time. But I managed to outperform my own expectations, and while small part of me will forever whisper “it wasn’t you. You did it wrong. You’re lying to yourself,” it’s a little harder to deny it when I had another person actively watching me and recording the tests so I can actually see myself do it.

“You are your biggest critique” is ever the true statement man. But I’m definitely trying to learn how to be more open to success in the gym. I mean c’mon; I started at barely being able to do one pullup with 100lbs of assistance. Now I can do nine with no help? It’s not a big number, but it’s still a much bigger number than where I was, and I can be proud of that.

I guess the roundabout of me talking about this is to remind ya to take a step back and be proud of the progress you’ve made up to this point, no matter what it is. Any progress is still progress, and you can’t brush that off.

The game face can be put on; aim for that higher number, strive for more, but don’t forget to take inventory of where you started vs where you are now. You may surprise yourself. :)

----

BUT YEAH! TL;DR I think I have gotten a little stronger. I’ll be taking a couple of days break away from the gym to rest up, then will be back on my bullshit with the new training block + my 1st attempt at a minicut. We’ll see how that goes ;w;

Anyhow, if you stuck around and read my rambling, treat yourself man. Thank you so much for listening, and I will talk to ya soon! :)

#earthsong talks #powerlifting

[koffing-time]

Another update guys, two topics this time, one good and one... semi bad?

the good one first though: The Barn is basically finished! The last little things are supposed to be done tomorrow! I might make a photo once it’s done.

// this means i might try myself at drawing, but i will never promise something like that.

This also means that my last few pokémon will finally move in with me. Sorry mom, you can’t keep Carrot Cake any longer!

This ALSO means that there won’t be any hazardous construction vehicles present at the babyshower, so anyone who as worrying about that can now rest easily.

Now the... troublesome news: after spening some god time with the new Pokémon, i have made a few observations. I’ll just go through them one at a time. If anyone has ideas or insight, please please please let me know.

Flit, the Beedrill: He is one of the Pokémon i adopted from the Snowbelle City Shelter. He was described as very energetic, but with low stamina. Something Olivia noticed yesterday, and which i sort of confirmed is, that he seems to get INCREDIBLY active after being called. When left to his own, he still likes to excercise and do mock-battles with my other pokémon, but he is more chill. Like i said in some post before, he seems to be getting along with Coffee, who is usually more... slow. @oh-shinx do you know if this was also noticed at the shelter? I tried calling them earlier, but since they are in Kalos, i think they were closed. Timezones are a bitch. Anyways, it’s known that his old trainer was pushing him too far at times. I’m not sure how to adress this issue, like i said any tips are very welcome. My first instinct would be to maybe give him a new name? “Flit” might remind him too much of his old trainer.

Ultra-Domesticated Trubbish. I have rescued two of them, they seemed decently close. I find them kind of funny looking. They kind of resemble paper bags more like the typical trash bags of a normal Trubbish. They don’t like it when i point my phone at them, so no photo for now. They seem to be somewhat healthy, at least for UDs. They are DEATHLY afraid of water though, so getting them to drink has proven a bit of trouble so far. I’ve made a kind of contraption where they can go to, and with a lever let some water slowly drip out of the bottom, so they can take it slow and make sure it doesn’t get on their body. It’s a bit redneck-engineering though, i’ll have to see if i can make it a bit more stable. I’m hoping they will take a liking to Loaf, my own, normal Trubbish. If they do, he might ease them into drinking a bit more. They also don’t really like to eat trash, which is odd. They go for organic waste instead, which is fine with me, if they don’t get sick from it. I will definitely keep an eye out for that. I’m thinking of calling them “Bun” and “Roll”.

Ultra-Domesticated Mareanie: This is a case that worries me. She is ultra domesticated, i’m sure. I got her from the base yesterday, and she was just like all the others. Playful, afraid of noise, harmless. Today, she was incredibly active. First i was happy. You know, having a UD Pokémon that’s somewhat normal? But after a while, she was worrying me. As you might now, Mareanie are ambush predators. They hide somewhere in the water and wait until something edible comes by. They don’t move much in the wild, at least compared to a lot of other pokémon. This one was running around, jumping in and out of the water, climbing rocks and trees, everything. And what’s even worse is that after a while she started to bite and hit everything and everyone she could reach? Like, that’s not something UDs do. At all. Not one of the UDs i met yesterday put their mouth anywhere near another living creature, and if they picked something up they almost dropped it again because they were so careful with it. In addition, this Mareanie doesn’t have any thorns or spikes and her theeth are so small, she couldn’t even scratch a branch she was chewing on for 30 minutes. I will definitely go to the vet with her tomorrow. Does anybody have an idea what it could be though? (Also not sure of a name for her yet)

Ultra-Domesticated Petilil: This one brings me a new challenge. She is so incredibly fragile. She almost fainted when we went outside into the sun, her leaves browned within like an hour until she got some more water and she has very little energy. She is also very very afraid of all my poison types. Even Muffin, who is very sad because of this. Yesterday, i thought it was because of the general situation, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I don’t think i can keep her, she would just suffer with me. @pkmn-aide-mel You said you could imagine adopting a UD Pokémon? Would you be up for this challenge or should i just go to a shelter to see if they can be a better place for her?

Ampersand, the Sliggoo: I have some better news to wrap this up. He seems way better than all the others i’ve talked about now. He is visibly in pain sometimes, but i was aware that this will happen. It’s because of a condition he has, as he has some kind of half-formed shell. He probably has some Hisuian heritage, and the evoluton process was kinda fucked up or something, So now he has some iron residue in his lower back. It’s not something that can be cured as far as i know, but the pain can be eased with different kinds of medicine. However, he was very slow today and didn’t want to play much with the other Pokémon, but that’s all right. He was just chilling at the pond. I think being in the water might also help with his back. Or maybe he just likes it. Whatever it is, if he likes the pond, i won’t stop him from going there.

#tix.txt #carrot cake the clodsire #coffee the koffing #loaf the trubbish #pokeblogging #team calm raid #pkmn irl #pokemon irl #long post

[aeori-o]

Happy New Year! 2/3 (Tumblr Why)

So apparently tumblr won't let me do a lot of images in one post and instead of reducing the amount of images I'll be using like a sane person I am making multiple posts. Cheers!

Part 1 || Part 3

Back to video games!

I love the steam recaps, both mine and looking at all my friends’ but I’ll just post mine here.

I don’t even remember playing Dishonored this year. I still have the weird desire to 100% it even though I only have the challenge-mode stuff left and of those I only have four left. I’m so freaking close. But I also haven’t touched the game in close to a year. Argh.

That spider-graph underestimates my ability to turn any game into a stealth game. I’m not sure what the game from this year was that’s counting as 3% I think Plate Up! was released last year and I’m doubting Destiny 2 counts even if it is an ongoing game so I assume that must be for the Touchstarved Demo. I do kind of wonder if I’ll ever have a high percentage for new releases just because it takes me forever to get to anything. Releases from the last 1-7 years was 11%, and releases from longer ago was 86% but that will be because I played a lot of short games from the 90’s and 00’s.

Just like my reading my gaming dropped off during the summer. It’s so hard to make time for things how do people do it. I find a physical hobby to do and it just consumes all of my time and energy and brain power.

There’s all the games. I didn’t count anything I spent a very small amount of time on in my personal count. Things like the HE activity packs or mini-games where I played for 5, maybe 10, minutes and stopped. Shockingly mini-games meant to entertain six year olds in the 90’s are not very compelling to a 30 year old in 2023 (though some were very graphically/artistically impressive which was more fascinating and engaging than the mini-games themselves). The actual point-and-click games all hold up surprisingly well. There’s some things that are a little aggravating like Freddi fish’s friend, Luther, makes just the worst jokes. I think so far I’ve been liking Pajama Sam and Putt-Putt the best. We’re done Spy Fox now and I think we still have a few Putt-Putt games left and one or two Freddi Fish games and Pajama Sam games.

I had the farm Buzzy game growing up (which is so strange seeing as I lived on a farm, why did my parents get me that) but not any others and the airport one is wild, genuinely very educational and it’s impressive how much stuff they crammed in there. We haven’t played any recently, though. Also all of Steam’s tags are liars, I did not first play these games in 2023, I first played all these HE games in like, 1998 or something, on an old machine I can still picture in my mind but have no way to look up. I don’t even remember what make it was.

(I asked my dad, because he used to take pictures of everything growing up, but shockingly he appears to have primarily taken photos of me and my sister doing things and not just pictures of random objects around the house. Strange. He did say it was probably a custom computer that had been built for his company so we even went through old company photos but, again, no photos of just people at their desks or their desk set-ups. Through this process I realized the computer I’m currently using is my third desktop, ever. Maybe that’s not that wild but for a device I use almost every day of my life it feels weird for it to “only” be the third one. In my lifetime there’s, so far, been 5 generations of playstations so I feel like I’m doing pretty good on the turnover rate for desktop computers. Here’s a doodle of what I think my first desktop computer looked like:

I can remember the overall shape of it but the details are foggy now. Its name was PC 11, though, because that’s what it was called at his workplace. The real kicker is I probably used to have a photo of it, but I lost all my old photos when my back-up drive gave out on me and I, foolishly, only had my photos on my back-up drive because my computer didn’t have room for them. I’m going to see if my sister, who is younger than me, somehow, magically, has any photos of this thing. Anyway back to video games.)

Donut County was an absolute delight. I think that’s the only other game on there I haven’t talked about at all and it was just a really good time. Cute story and very satisfying gameplay, I had a great time playing it.

We also revisited a series Steph and I played in or just after Highschool which was really fun to revisit with friends.

The Chzo series stands up surprisingly well. I don’t think I’d recommend them for a newcomer but for something I played forever ago (I don’t think I ever beat the series but I know I played the first two) I’m surprised at how well it held up and it was fun to re-experience with friends. There’s some very questionable plot elements and some unfortunate word choices which is why I won’t recommend them but it’s super impressive that one guy just… made these. It’s genuinely very cool and impressive.

Sony is apparently also doing a year in review or “wrap up” this year for the first time ever, I was kind of hoping it would include PS3 data somehow. It didn’t. So this is all I get:

I do really like the graphics they have on everything, too bad my poor PS4 was basically neglected so those graphics are wasted on my dismal play-stats.

They just look really nice. I do think it’s interesting that Sony’s approach to this outright feels a little more cynical and like it rolled out of the marketing department than other wrap-ups. They throw in a little “look at all these cool games you could be playing with playstation plus” and then of course…

Did you know?? You can buy a PS5?? Did you know?? Come buy one. :)

Anyway.

That’s about all I played this year, so I can move on.

To my other hobbies, of which I have about seventeen billion. As I mentioned last year: I was really into reshelling stuff until I ran out of stuff to reshell. So I did reshell one controller this year. One of my Switch procontrollers I wasn’t super happy with, so I changed it to look like the joycons I did for my step-brother and I’m much happier with it:

I also got a bunch of cute thumbgrips for all my modern Nintendo controllers. I’ve never liked add-on thumb grips much but for whatever reason I don’t find the current generation of Nintendo controllers to have comfortable analogue sticks so having cute pads is elevating my Nintendo experience both aesthetically and physically.

And then I realized people sell shells for Gameboys so decided to do the GBAs from my childhood (I don’t know how I wound up with two, and one was my sister’s):

The hinges were so hard to get back in right, different guides said to do different things and they were all wrong. Luckily I had six hinges to get there on so by the time I got to the one with the nicest screen I had it figured out but the Pikachu one has squishy unsatisfying hinges now (and the hinges are so hard to get back out I’m not going to bother fixing it). And some of the batteries were getting puffy so I replaced them (which was maybe silly since these aren’t going to be played often but oh well).

I really love the aesthetics of a clear-case on a GBA. There is just SO much crammed in there it really tickles my brain. Any motherboard looks pretty dense but these are particularly dense in a way that looks visually distinct than even something like the 3DS (picture further down) because there’s so little real estate for them to get everything in there. I know people really like clear cases in general (and I am also a fan) but it hits extra good on something like this where there is just so much to see.

I have continued repairing people’s Nintendo Switches from fans to joycon drift. I still like fixing things whenever I can (I just fixed a kettle a few days ago which I fully did not expect to be able to fix) and one of the major things that needed fixing this year was CurseBreaker, the computer I built at the end of 2020.

My poor computer. Toward the end of 2022 I wanted to try a liquid cooler (which they call an AIO) instead of the stock fan, there was literally no reason to do this except for the thrill of it (AMD’s stock coolers are very good, or at least mine was) and CPUs were on major sale at the time so I figured if I’m messing around I might as well update my CPU, too. About a month later my computer started crashing randomly. Completely randomly, and it wouldn’t fully crash it would kind of “hang” in a really strange way. I could sometimes open programs but task manager would boot but not operate properly, internet connectivity vanished, random programs would freeze, trying to shut down or restart the computer would just have it pinwheel on the shutdown screen forever. Usually I could save whatever I was working on before restarting and sometimes whatever I saved would corrupt. (It also refused to load the windows colour profile on boot, but it still won’t do that, so that is unrelated but I thought it was something at the time.)

I eventually got to the point where I could usually make it crash by watching twitch (specifically twitch did it) while using photoshop. But it wouldn’t trigger right away, and sometimes it wouldn’t trigger at all, but it did it much more often with the twitch and photoshop combo than with anything else. I started writing every time it messed up on a notepad and everything I tried to do to troubleshoot. I was in Reliability History every day (a feature of Windows I did not previously know existed), I was in Event Viewer (a very stressful place to go looking in, Windows can and will consider everything an ‘error’: it considers firefox being my default browser an error and I am not kidding). My computer could Not tell me what the heck was up. The crashing started earlier but by the time I realized it was an ongoing problem and not a few weird crashes it was mid-January so I used Reliability History to see the previous two weeks and started writing my notes, I made a timeline, I even tracked the time between crashes in case it was some bizarre clock thing or ticking time bomb (it wasn’t).

My headphone ear pads broke during this and I had to sew them back together because my headphones are weird and suck and don’t have replacements available to buy. Obviously that wasn’t directly related to my computer’s problems but it didn’t help me feel any less cursed since I use those headphones exclusively with my computer. I also expanded my storage during this time which maybe wasn’t the best idea but someone wanted me to try Destiny 2 and I didn’t have space to spare (the storage installed fine, but almost immediately after I had a bunch of crashes/hangs). And then one of my computer case’s USB ports broke???

How??? How!! I am SO careful. I do not understand how or why this happened and I have been around computers my entire life—this is the only time I have EVER seen a USB port break like this. None of the computers in my highschool had broken USB ports! And people jammed USBs in and out of those! This USB port is still broken, I just have a dust plug in it but I might put a sticker over it. It’s technically usable if you bend that pin back out but it gets crammed back in very easily.

Finally, after four months of this, after partially re-installing Windows, and then fully re-installing Windows, after downloading and updating every driver I could find, after trying to unplug various devices to see if a USB device was causing issues, after fighting with Task Scheduler to get the Windows Color System to work, after uninstalling and reinstalling everything I could or straight up uninstalling things I didn’t need that Windows quietly downloads when you’re not looking (Skype just will not leave my machine Windows keeps dragging it back)… I decided to update the BIOS/UEFI on my machine. My CPU was supposed to be compatible with the BIOS version my motherboard was running but I guess it wasn’t actually.

The thing with updating your BIOS is that if your computer has been running for a while it’s generally recommended you don’t update it. Every page you go to, even the page with the motherboard update versions, will tell you to turn back, to not frivolously update your motherboard, you should only update it if you absolutely have to!

They are not clear on what “absolutely having to” means, though. I was having major computer issues, my CPU was supposed to be compatible, but that was the only other thing I could think of that would be causing the issue. I had tried everything else because all the BIOS stuff warns you away from it and there is no list of “if your computer is doing this it might be the motherboard” or at least I couldn’t find one that isn’t vague. So.

On April 24th I updated my BIOS. It was really easy. I have not had a problem since. There is probably a lesson to be learned here about doing the hard, risky-seeming thing earlier in the process—except that they really warn you off of updating the BIOS. I had four months of very stressful and insanity-making troubleshooting, five-and-a-bit months of a computer that would just randomly give up. It sucked. And all because my motherboard company lied, my CPU was definitely not as compatible as they said it was. Despite how much this process sucked I am very pleased that I fixed it. CurseBreaker got CurseBroken. I still put a sticker on her that says she’s cursed, though.

Anyway.

I also learned how to bind books this year! I haven’t done the big-book bindings where you need to sew pages together (and I would like to learn how to do that and how to make hard covers) but I’ve done this simple kind and I really like it. I have ideas for other things I’d like to make into little personal books. I guess I’ll see where it takes me but I made the little yellow book there as a companion piece to a book my sister had me read and it looked so official that when she opened the present she didn’t understand what she was looking at. Graphic design is my passion. Surprisingly easy to do and very fun! I need a better paper slicer, though. I borrowed one for this and it did more ripping than cutting. Most of the hobbies I take on are very satisfying in a tangible way but this is extra satisfying and I’d like to do more of it.

Through the power of friendship I made two booknooks this year (Vin and Steph helped me). The one on the right was more like a puzzle or ikea furniture where it was all clearly labelled and told you where to put what and when. It took the better part of an afternoon but got done in one day. The one on the left was more like building a diorama with little to no real instruction, just a lot of material.

It took several days to assemble and required busting out the hot glue gun. Somehow the makers of this kit expected you to be able to glue plastic pieces and mirrors with white glue. (It definitely worked better than expected on some things but was a mess and meant having to sit there holding pieces together while they cured because if you let go it’d fall apart. The hot glue was necessary to not go insane.) It even makes you put together the wiring yourself, and then has the audacity to not make it clear anywhere what kind of batteries it takes. Overall super happy with how this one came together, I think it looks super cute, but I was not prepared for how hard it would be after the first one.

But now I have two cute little booknooks! I’ve wanted one for years and now I have two and because we built them I also have good memories directly associated with them.

I also finally have a paper koi lantern! I’ve been following the artist, yuumei, since I was a kid—like I followed her when I still used deviantart which was forever ago. I signed up for the mailing list for these who-knows-when and at some point I assumed this project would never reach completion despite how cool it is. People get busy, it is how it is. But then she launched a kickstarter! I backed! And then a kit showed up in the mail!

There’s a really great tutorial video to go with it for assembly. It was really hard at first but once you kind of figure it out it gets a lot easier. The paper is the most gorgeous paper I’ve seen in my life and she looks beautiful when she’s all lit up.

This one feels so weird to finally have. I think I was following the project for at least a decade so it feels surreal for it to be a real thing now. This thing I wanted as a kid/teen that didn’t exist and now does and I still wanted it. It’s also really nice to see that this fully came together for the artist, as well. If you’re interested she has pricing and product photos on her website here (click): Yuumei Art: Koi Lanterns.

And Tumblr is cross with me with the amount of images I want to put in these so I will be making part 3 presently. I'll set up links when I'm done.

<< Previous || Next >>

#new year get better do better

[thebeautifullydamnedone]

Wingman, Or More? Part 1 (Jake “Hangman” Seresin)

When childhood best friends Kat “Hurricane” Crawford and Jake “Hangman” Seresin come together once more for a special detachment it’s just like old times. But what happens when things start to change between them, and the dynamic shifts from wingmen, to something more? 

A/N: This is my first attempt at a Hangman fic! Please feel free to comment, reblog, and let me know what you think! I’m working on Part 2 already so hopefully that won’t take too long! 

The call came in two weeks ago. A special detachment back at North Island. Kat has been hanging out in Las Vegas for the past couple of weeks after her last post and she’s happy to get out of there. North Island has always been home, so it would be nice to be going back. She had also heard a rumor she wasn't the only pilot called back so she’s hoping to see a few friends and Top Gun favorites. She hasn’t heard from Jake in a few weeks, and she is wondering if he is still on the last post that she knows of. Apparently the position was so classified he wouldn’t even tell her about it.

She has been on the road for quite a few hours, but she’s starting to recognize her surroundings. She will end up at the Hard Deck within the next five minutes if she keeps up her speed. She was almost sure to find the rest of the crew there. The only confirmed pilot she knows is coming is Phoenix, who texted her to ensure they were on the same detachment.

She snaps out of her thoughts when her phone rings from the seat beside her. Reaching over she plucks up her phone and answers it quickly after seeing Jake’s name and photo pop up on her screen. “Well, well, well. I was wondering if I’d be hearing from you soon or if you were still in BFE on a carrier with no phone signal.”

The low chuckle is like music to Kat’s ears. It has been weeks since she has heard from her best friend and she couldn’t help but worry. “Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly know you were back stateside either. But listen, Coyote and I were just wondering, how the hell do you plan on making it to North Island, much less completing a mission in an F-18, driving like that?”

Her eyes widen slightly as they dart to her rearview mirror. A flash of a truck catches her attention and she turns to look out the driver’s side window as the boys pull up next to her car in Jake’s F-150.

She flips them off as Jake accelerates and ends up right in front of her. “I’m worried about you, Hurricane. I mean, it’s like speed is a forgotten concept for you. I’m shocked. I mean, can you even keep up with me?” She watches the truck in front of her lurch forward as he says this, and a wicked grin crosses her face.

“Keep up with you? Oh honey, I’ll do you one better.” Kat hangs up and tosses the phone into the seat next to her as her foot slams down on the gas. The engine roars as she whips around Jake’s truck, hovering next to him long enough to flip him off before surpassing him quickly. Not being one to be beaten, she continues the speed she’s going, leaving his truck far behind until she spots the Hard Deck. She slows down just enough to whip into the parking lot with a spray of gravel.

As Kat waits for them to catch up she pulls her sunglasses off and rests them on the top of her head. She then grabs her wallet and phone from the passenger seat. She turns just as Jake parks beside her car and Coyote hops out of the truck. Coyote, ever the gentleman, reaches over and opens her door as she shuts the car off and offers her his hand. She takes it and stands up gracefully before pulling him into a tight hug. “God, I’ve missed you! I was hoping you’d be here, Coyote!”

He squeezes her back tightly before releasing her once again. “Missed you too, Hurricane. Hangman and I were debating whether you would even be here. There were rumors you were still needed at your last post.” Grinning, she looks up and shrugs at him.

“Yeah, well, you know me. The party doesn’t start till I arrive, and you idiots definitely need a female around to remind you girls do it better.” Katrina playfully winks at him as she hears the driver’s side door close. She turns in anticipation and Hangman rounds the back of the truck dressed in uniform.

“Katrina Crawford, as I live and breathe.” They both break out in massive smiles before closing the distance between them.

“Jake Seresin, long time, no see.” He wraps her up in a tight hug and spins her around as she laughs. It has definitely been too long, longer than either of them have ever gone without seeing the other. When he lets her go, he pulls her at arm’s length before taking her hand and spinning her in a circle.

“Well, let me see you.” He pretends to assess Kat as she obliges and spins once again before coming to a stop in front of him. “Jesus Kat, only you could climb out of a blacked-out Hellcat in a sundress and look this good! I mean, do I even want to know what you spent on this sweet ride?”

She grins and smacks the top of the Dodge before turning back to him. “Well, more than your F-150, that’s all I’m willing to divulge at this time! Now, are we going to stand here all night in the parking lot, or can we go have a drink and catch up?” He shakes his head before she links arms with him and Coyote and walks into the all-too-familiar bar.

Penny greets all three as old friends and offers Hangman and Coyote beers as Katrina orders a Tequila Sunrise. Once the drink is in her hand they head over to the pool table and dart board to catch up. A few moments later she notices another pilot sitting in a chair near the guys but since he hasn’t spoken she assumes he doesn’t want to be bothered.

Soon Phoenix shows up and after playful banter she introduces everyone to Payback and Fanboy. Kat finds out the quiet pilot’s name is Bob. Everyone starts to play pool and she settles back to watch. Phoenix looks to the door and seems stunned for a moment. Hangman is standing next to Kat, assessing his next move when she glances over. “Oh shit, Bradshaw’s here.” Jake’s head whips to the door as she says this, and you both watch Bradley confidently walk over.

After everyone has met and the pissing contest between Jake and Bradley has passed, everyone falls into a nice night. After a few drinks the questions start to roll through the group. Does anyone know anything about the special detachment? Why is everyone there? A bell rings out and everyone cheers as Hangman and Coyote leave briefly to throw an older guy out of the bar for not being able to pay his tab. Once they’ve returned a quiet settles over the group until Coyote speaks up once more. “Well, we all know the team to beat is the ‘Dynamic Duo’ over here.”

Kat and Jake share a high five as Phoenix rolls her eyes, but Bob seems interested. “Dynamic Duo? You guys have flown together?” Kat glances over at Hangman, sharing a knowing smile before turning her attention back to Bob.

“Oh yeah. We grew up together, went to high school, joined the Navy, and ended up at Top Gun together. I let Hangman win first at Top Gun,” Kat smirked at her old friend, “and we’ve flown a few posts together. We are the definition of wingmen.”

Coyote lets out a laugh beside you both and Bob’s eyes turn. “They mean that, literally. I mean, they look out for each other in the skies, sure. But the real action as wingmen starts right here in this bar. I’ve never seen a scam quite like theirs.” Bob’s face twists in confusion once more as Jake lets out a laugh.

“It’s not a scam. It’s a beautifully orchestrated team exercise. Friends look out for friends.” Kat lets out a laugh at Hangman’s words to Coyote.

“He’s right, you guys have been friends long enough to help each other out. It is a great system. Hangman lures in guys for her, and she lures in girls for him. It is a trade off in which both parties reap the benefits.” Coyote added.

Kat glances over as Jake clears his throat and nods behind her. She turns as a beautiful blonde girl in a tight tee and mini skirt heads your way to walk past to the bar. Kat shoots Bob a wink as if to tell him to watch and accidently steps in front of the beautiful girl. “Oh God! I’m so sorry!” Kat pretends to assess her outfit and smiles. “Your outfit is so cute! I’ve been looking for something similar!”

She easily chats with the girl for a few moments before pointing to Jake. “I’ve been so rude. You should meet my friend, Jake. He’s in the Navy, and he’s a fighter pilot!” She turns to Jake who kisses the top of her hand and introduces himself as Hangman. The girl looks confused for a moment until Kat leans forward and whispers to her. “It’s his call sign, it’s like a nickname. He’s Hangman because he’s…well. Ya know…. hung.” Kat winks at her, and the blonde giggles, immediately drawn back in.

After a moment Kat takes a few steps back and Jake shoots her a smile before offering to teach the girl to play pool. Kat heads to the bar for another drink and while she waits she notices Rooster lean back against the bar beside her. “Didn’t think you’d still be getting Hangman laid…figured you’d realize you’re too good to be his friend by now.”

Kat winks at Penny as she slides over the drink . Kat takes a sip before turning her full attention to Rooster. “But why mess with a good system? I mean, it works in my favor most nights too.” She smiles up at Rooster and he playfully shakes his head. Kat turns to rest her back against the bar beside him and watches as Hangman lays it on thick with the pretty blonde. “Plus, I’m not too good to be his friend. I’m no better. And he’s my best friend, always has been. So, I’ll keep him.”

Phoenix finds her way over after a while and Kat catches up with both her and Rooster. As the sun sinks in the sky it occurs to Kat that she’s got an early morning ahead of her. Glancing at her watch she realizes she should head to bed soon. She bids her goodbyes to the rest of the crew and finds Hangman by the pool tables, still with his tongue shoved in the blonde girl’s mouth.

“Hangman, I’m headed out. If you need a place to crash, you know where the key will be!” He waves in her direction, still focusing on the girl. Kat rolls your eyes before heading out. She heads to the car and then to her mother’s beach house. She figures Hangman has slacked off about finding a place to stay so he would no doubt end up at her house as well, crashing until this detachment was over.

Once home she strips into pajamas, brushes her teeth, and climbs into bed. Plugging her phone in, she sets alarms for the morning and prays she will get enough rest to be ready for tomorrow. She isn’t sure what this special detachment is about, but it is no joke with how many skilled pilots called up. She settles in for the nap, trying to quiet her mind as sleep overcomes her.

___________

The morning’s first alarm has Kat up and at it. She makes sure she has plenty of time before changing into a sports bra, running shorts, and a pair of sneakers. She grabs her phone and headphones and tunes into a good playlist. She quietly makes her way through the house, sure that Hangman is still sleeping. She comes into the kitchen and gets the coffee pot ready before slipping out the back after flipping on the back door light.

The only thing worth having that her mother had left her with was the beach house. She had received all the papers of ownership in the mail a few weeks after mom had left. While it confused her, and still does to this day, she had accepted it. As she stares out at the lightening morning sky, and the waves out in front of her, she feels a calm settle over her. She stretches lightly before taking off on the sand. She pushes herself hard and by the time she makes her way back to the house the sun is coming up over the horizon and she is coated in sweat.

She closes the door behind her and jumps a little when she turns around and Hangman is sitting at the kitchen island with his head in his hands. “You’re up unusually early.” Kat grabs a bottle of water and chugs it as she turns back to him.

He looks up at her through his fingers and grumbles. “Yeah, well. I heard you leave this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Is there any coffee?” She smiles at him before walking over and hitting the “on” button of the coffee machine.

“It’ll be ready in less than five.” She walks around the island to pat him on the back. “I’m going to shower off, save me some.” She barely registers his nod in her direction before she is making her way to the bathroom. She slips off the sweat-soaked clothes and quickly hops into the shower. When she is done she pulls on a bra, simple black tee, and a thin pair of shorts.

By the time she makes her way back into the kitchen, Hangman seems much more awake. As she walks in, he slides her an empty mug and she fills it with coffee. For a while they both sit in comfortable silence, enjoying the coffee and the peace of an early morning. She glances over at him with a smile and taps the side of her mug. “So, how did it go with the slutty blonde?”

He looks up at Kat over his own mug and grins. “Great. I think we’re hanging out later this week if this training hasn’t killed me.” She playfully rolls her eyes and finishes off her coffee before rinsing out the mug and laying it in the sink.

“Speaking of training, we should get moving. I need to change, and,” with a grimace she sniffed the air. “You desperately need a shower to rinse off the smell of B.O, slut, and beer that’s wafting from you.” She lets out a laugh as she walks past him, and he flips her off.

Kat finds herself back in her room and immediately pulls her flight suit out of the closet. She lays it on her bed before going back to the bathroom. She glances at the time as she pulls on her watch and realizes they’d need to leave in the next hour to get to the briefing this morning. She quickly brushes her teeth, combs through her hair, and places it in a bun, and then applies a little mascara before walking back into her bedroom.

Slipping into her flight suit she looks at herself in the mirror and smiles a little. Not half bad. A knock in her doorway makes her look away from her reflection as Jake stands there ready to go. “Ready?”

She nods and tucks her phone in her pocket before both leave the house. Deciding it is easier to ride together they both end up in Jake’s truck. Before they know it they are on base and heading to the briefing bay.

Everyone is lounging around and talking quietly when “Attention on deck” is called and everyone stands. Once seated again she listens as Warlock begins to introduce everyone to their instructor. Everyone turns in anticipation and when Kat sees the older guy from the bar last night, she finds herself coughing to stifle her laughter. She immediately turns back to Hangman who is obviously mortified.

She clears her throat and turns her attention to Maverick, who is standing up at the front. Introductions are made and when he brings up dogfighting, a smile crosses Kat’s face again. Maverick insists that dogfighting will be wildly important when put up against next generation fighter pilots and she can’t help but agree. A pause in his speech catches everyone’s attention once more before Mav clears his throat.

“Today we’ll start with what you only think you know. We’ll start with dogfighting, each of you will be paired into teams and we’ll see what needs work. The first team up, their reputation preceding them.” Kat realizes that Maverick is making direct eye contact with her. “The ‘Dynamic Duo’, is it? Show me what you’re made of.”

She grins again and catches a wink from Hangman as everyone stands to get to their aircrafts.

As she’s checking out her F-18 she can’t help but notice Maverick talking to Rooster. It seems tense, and a harsh grimace is plastered all over Rooster’s face. She catches Hangman watching as well and when he eyes her questioningly, she shrugs before climbing into her plane. After checking everything is in order, and with the go-ahead, she takes off.

Once in the air Kat finds herself next to Hangman. With a smirk he looks over at her. “Mav needs an ego check. You ready?” She gives him a thumbs up, watching her monitors for activity. Nothing. “I say we do ‘bait and switch’, works every time.”

Kat groans loudly and shakes her head. “Aw, come on. We haven’t done ‘bait and switch’ since Top Gun! I don’t feel like playing damsel in distress today, Jake.” They both begin to argue, and for a moment, her focus is solely on Hangman. What yanks her out of the argument and has her barreling to her side is Maverick, flying directly in between her and Jake.

Jake shouts out an expletive and Kat is scrambling to figure out where Maverick went. She hears Maverick chuckle as he’s already rounding back. “Greetings aviators, fight’s on.” Kat growls and turns back to Jake who’s leveled his wings.

“Come on Hurricane, you got a better idea?!” She thinks for a split second before realizing that Maverick is already gaining to catch both her and Hangman.

“Shit. Fine! Break right!” Jake’s plane immediately turns to the right and Kat takes off in the opposite direction, thinking that Maverick will see this and follow her. But as she turns to look, Mav has chosen to follow Hangman instead. “Hangman, he’s on your tail.”

She hears another expletive as she immediately goes to turn around to Hangman’s aide. “Kat, where the hell are you?!” She growls into her mouthpiece and pushes the throttle further.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.” She gains traction quickly and realizes there’s almost no saving Hangman, as Maverick’s already got his sights on him. Kat realizes there’s only one thing she can do, stick to the original plan. “Coming in hot! Break left!” Hangman immediately breaks left and suddenly she’s between him and Mav.

Mav immediately turns his attention to Kat as she pulls up, hoping to blind him in the sunlight and catch a break. “Hold on, Kat. I’m on my way back around!” She sighs in relief, hoping he gets to her in time to save her from the inevitable fate if the sun isn’t her ally here. She thinks it’s about to work as she’s blinking against the harsh light when she hears tones.

“Hurricane, you’re out.” Kat rips off her mask and punches the canopy with a balled fist. She turns around slightly and sees Hangman and Mav in an intense battle.

She thought she had him, if he had gone for her in the first place, Hangman might have had a chance to get him as he was focusing on her tail. She starts to head back to base, listening intently to the comms. When she hears Hangman cuss once more she realizes that Mav’s shot him down too.

Thanks to Payback and Fanboy, Kat and Hangman report to Hondo and start the grueling process of 200 push-ups. It takes her quite a while and she grumbles to Hangman under her breath the entire time. When she’s done she can feel the sweat dripping down her back and pooling under her breasts.

For the next few hours, the dog fights continue. No one is able to shoot Maverick’s plane down. Everyone takes turns between listening to the dog fights on the ground and being in them with a multitude of partners. When Rooster and Maverick end up in a cobra maneuver heading towards the ground everyone’s attention is on the radio.

When the day is done Maverick is gracious enough to compliment everyone, even if no one is able to beat him. He dismisses everyone for the day and while in the locker room washing off everyone decides to hit the Hard Deck and drink the loss of the day off. Everyone changes into civilian clothes and meets up there, Kat immediately ordering a round for everyone.

They all end up pushing a few bar top tables together and sitting as a group, bullshitting with each other and having a great time. Kat is sitting between Hangman and Rooster and couldn’t help but notice that Rooster keeps glancing at her. At one point he leans over to her. “You’re empty, want another?” She glances down at her empty glass and back up at Rooster with a smile and a nod. He grabs her glass and goes to the bar. Kat stares after him wondering what his deal is tonight, but she feels Jake lean close to her ear.

“Don’t even think about it. There’s no way you’re actually that desperate, I can pull you any guy in this bar.” Kat rolls her eyes and turns to Jake. He is staring after Rooster as if he has a bad taste in his mouth. He then looks into her eyes, and she raises an eyebrow at him.

“Why do you care? I mean, come on, he wouldn’t be the worst guy I’ve hooked up with. Plus,” she glances back to Rooster who shoots her a smile while leaning against the bar waiting for their drinks. “I’ve always been a little curious about what's under the flight suit of Bradley Bradshaw.” She playfully looks back to Jake who pretends to gag.

“Absolutely not. I refuse to let your standards drop that low.” Coyote is glancing between the two of them and when Hangman notices, Coyote shoots a smile at them.

“I gotta know. How come you guys have never hooked up?” Hangman chokes a little on the beer he is trying to swallow, and Kat is astonished that Coyote has asked. She lets out a laugh at Hangman’s flushed face and jumps a little when Rooster slides her drink in front of her before sliding back in next to her.

“I’ve always wondered too.” Rooster is smiling at Kat as he says this, and she looks back at Jake who still seems flustered.

“I mean, it’s pretty simple. We grew up together, from the sand box to right now. I know everything there is to know about Hangman, the good, the bad, the absolute downright filthy. We’re also incredibly similar so I think it would just be weird if we hooked up, right?” She turns to Hangman for backup, and he is nodding. Quickly tipping it back to chug it.

Coyote, Phoenix, and Rooster let out howls of laughter and everything resumes as normal. Eventually Coyote and Fanboy challenge Hangman to a game of pool, and Kat watches him bound over. Hangman’s confidence can be seen from across the bar. She is shaking her head when Rooster’s presence beside her is noticed once more. “You sure you two have never hooked up?”

Smiling, Kat slides her drink closer and nods. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure. I mean, it’s kind of always been like this. He’s my wingman and I’m his. We look out for each other. I think we both know on some level if we go there, it could ruin our friendship.” Rooster is nodding at her, but she can tell he wants to say more. “What? Say it.”

“It’s just…the way he looks at you. And you, him. It’s more than protection. You’re both completely invested in the other. I’ve never seen a friendship like it. I guess I just don’t understand the dynamic. I mean, you’re a great person and he’s…. kind of intolerable sometimes. I just don’t get how you’re such great friends, I guess.”

Kat smiles because she can’t disagree with him. But Jake isn’t that intolerable to her. She takes a long swallow of her drink before leaning back in her chair. “He’s just…different for me, with me. I mean, we grew up together, but it’s so much more than that.” She glances at Rooster who’s got his eyebrows cocked up, waiting for her to explain.

Hangman glances over at her and Rooster and watches them for a moment before Coyote captures his attention again. “My mom left when I was 17. She was my best friend, and one day I came home, and her shit was packed, and she was gone. She left a note that she ‘couldn’t do it anymore’. No other explanation. After that, my dad kind of shut down. And it only got worse after my older brother shipped off to the Navy. Reed was the golden child, so my dad was pretty proud. But mostly devastated when he left.���

Kat plays with her straw in the glass as she speaks. Not sure why all of this is coming out just to defend Jake to Bradley. “I kind of thought dad would be proud when I joined the Navy with Jake. But he was upset and he told me I wouldn’t make it. And then he lost his shit when I said I wanted to be a pilot, like Reed. And everything I did, how hard I worked, just turned into a chance to prove him wrong.”

She glances over at Rooster, whose face has fallen a little. “I got into Top Gun, with Jake, of course. And the only two people in the world who were proud of me were Jake and my brother.” She nods and then takes a deep breath. “And then two weeks into Top Gun, I got to class and was dismissed to Iceman’s office. He sat me down and told me that Reed had been on a special detachment, and his plane was shot down. He took a hit for his wingman, but it was fatal and he couldn’t bail out in time. And, before I could even say anything when I got back, Jake knew.”

Katrina glances over at Jake as he skillfully plays pool. “I almost quit. Packed up and went home. But Jake wouldn’t let me. Said that Reed would have wanted me to become the best pilot the Navy had seen. He pushed me, like always. And we finished. He’s been there. Through everything. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and I know he’s an ass sometimes, but he’s the best guy I know.”

When she turns back to Rooster he is nodding slightly. “I get it. I mean, wow, I didn’t know any of that. And I’m sorry. But I guess it shines a new light on Hangman.” She smiles a little and nods because she knew it would. For the most part Kat is a private person, but Rooster seems beyond trustworthy. “So, does he know?” She blinks and looks up at Rooster. She shakes her head but before she can say anything he speaks again. “Does he know you’re in love with him?”

Kat lets out a laugh and immediately goes to tell Rooster he is wrong. But before she can, she feels a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, I’m not feeling too hot. Can we pack up? It’s been a long day.” She turns to see Jake and prays he hasn’t been there long enough to hear Rooster’s crazy talk. She nods and immediately goes to stand up.

“Yeah, let’s go. Later, Bradshaw.” Rooster gives her a knowing smile as she turns to leave. Casually Hangman drapes an arm around her shoulders and they make their way to the car. Once outside Hangman lets out a gust of air and turns to Kat. “Can I drive?”. She agrees and tosses him the keys.

The ride home is pretty quiet, just the sound of the radio playing quietly in the background. When they get inside she half expects Jake to retire to his room but instead, he makes his way to the mini bar in the living room. He immediately picks up a bottle of silver tequila and turns around with a smile. “Ready for the real fun?”

Kat lets out a laugh and leans against the wall as she kicks her shoes off. “I thought you said you didn’t feel good? And that’s why we came home.”

He lets out a chuckle as he plucks up two glasses from the bar and makes his way over to the couch. “Yeah, well. I lied. I just couldn’t stand seeing you waste your breath talking to Bradshaw anymore. Figured we’d have more fun here anyway.”

As she makes her way around the couch to plop down next to him, he pours two hefty shots into the glasses and hands her one. She takes it from him and cheers before drinking it down and putting her glass on the table. She is not sure tequila is a good idea since she’s already had a few drinks at the bar. But Jake seems to be in a wonderful mood, and she wants to cherish it.

For the next hour Kat and Jake both find themselves pounding most of the bottle of tequila, switching through channels and arguing about what to watch. They are under a blanket she found on the back of the couch when he drunkenly turns to her. “You’re not into Bradshaw, are you?”

She smiles, not sure what his fascination with Bradley is. “I mean, so what if I am? Does it matter?” He groans and leans closer to her, resting his chin on her upright knees.

“Yes. It does matter. He’s not right for you. Trust me, you’d get bored with him in a week! You need someone exciting and confident; someone who’s able to take care of you.” Kat smiles and leans a little closer to him.

“Yeah? Well, I don’t see anyone else offering. Plus, it’s all fun and games, right? I mean, how do you know he’s not right for me?” Lazily she pulls at the hairs on his arms, and he watches her fingers for a moment before looking back up at her.

“I just know. I know you, remember?” Kat lets out a giggle as he stares intently at her for a moment. She wants to tell him he’s drunk, and it’s late. But as she opens her mouth to ask if he’s ready for bed, he speaks once more. “Do you ever wonder….”

His entire tone has changed, it’s heavy but inquisitive. He’s staring so intently into her eyes every cell in her body yearns for him to finish his sentence. He cuts himself off and shakes his head a little, but she leans forward a little more. “Do I ever wonder what, Jake?”

It’s quiet for a moment, and she can see the gears in his head turning. Kat wants to ask him if he heard her but she’s afraid he’ll spook from what he might say. So, she sits, impatiently waiting. For a moment, she thinks he has changed his mind. But just as she’s lost all hope that he’s going to finish his sentence, he does her one better. He reaches out, grabs the back of her neck gently and crashes his lips against hers.

For a split second, she’s shocked. But before she can fully register what’s happening, her lips are moving with his. It’s heated. Passionate. Feverish. She grasps at his collar, grabbing at anything her hands can touch. In another moment he’s pulled her completely into his lap so she’s straddling his hips. He’s got his hands under the back of her shirt and she’s moaning into his mouth.

Her hands are tugging at his hair and he’s almost to her bra when he breaks free for a moment. Kat and Jake are both breathing heavily, less than an inch from the other’s face. “Kat…. a-are you sure?” Her head and her heart are screaming tequila, complicating the two conflicting opinions.

Before she fully thinks it through,she smiles. “Shut up, Hangman.” She grabs the front of his shirt and yanks him back to her lips. He grins into her kiss and for a split-second Kat thinks to herself how bad of an idea this is. But for right now, this feels way too good to stop.

#jake hangman seresin #hangman top gun #top gun maverick #top gun maverick fanfiction #original story #jake seresin #love story #top gun love #thebeautifullydamnedone

[briankang]

STAY Day Letters Part Two!

(English Translations under the cut)

Han

STAY~~ Hi~~~ It’s HAN. Happy fourth birthday~~~!! On such a fine day our STAY should eat and rest up all you want! Are you having a good day? I’m so, so happy to be able to celebrate STAY’s fourth birthday. We went through a lot, didn’t we? Happy times, sad times, tough times, and times so funny that we laughed our heads off! And because you were always there by my side in every moment, it’s even more meaningful to me. I say this all the time, but when we try to give STAY energy, it often ends up being us who receive the strength and energy. Whenever that happens, I think to myself that I’m so happy and glad to be STAY’s artist. I’m able to continue doing my best to move forward because you’ve always steadily stayed by our side. I hope that our STAY can shine brighter on such a great day like this. You are my reliable friend, family, and love who shines the brightest in the world, and I hope today you spend a happy day—the happiest day in the world. We’ll spend many more days and a lot more time together from now on. You’ll continue to stay by our side until then, right?? The weather has been hot, but it feels like a warm day today~ Let’s always be happy and healthy! STAY!! Once again, happy happy happy birthday! I love you very very very much!

Felix

STAY! Happy fourth anniversary! Time really flew by, and just thinking of the many memories we made makes me happy! I’m always trying to show you my new sides, but I just hope that we can all rely on each other and be healthy together like a big family. I hope we can have a healing time doing many performances and concerts, sharing fun conversations, and making memories. Because until now, STAY have healed me a lot, and I’ve also always thought about how I can give STAY a better gift! I’m really happy that I can do ASMR and show you photos through Bubble💙 Time passes quickly, and four years is a long time, but the road ahead is still long and far, so let’s walk together slowly! Thank you STAY ~

Seungmin

STAY🙂 It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long since I wrote the letter last year for your third anniversary, but we’ve reached your fourth anniversary after another year flew by. I’m thankful that it was a time where I was able to show STAY more of what kind of person I am. You know, it makes me so happy that I can call you STAY and find you. These days, when I see or feel something cool, pretty, fancy, or happy, I think of STAY first. It has always been like that, but the deeper it becomes, the more I become that way. I want to sing for a long, long time without losing the way I am, just the way STAY like it. In order to do that, I’ll work harder every day to become a better person! I say this often, but I’ll do my best to sing so that every moment you hear my voice can stay in your mind and become a positive memory that you can revisit in the future🙂 I think I’m growing through the support and love I receive from STAY every day. In terms of my appearance, my mind, and my thoughts about music. I’ll keep growing more and become STAY’s pride, so that your supportive feelings for me don’t come to naught.

I.N

Hi STAY! Our STAY is already four years old hehe. How does it feel to have been with us for four years?? We still have so many more activities to experience together with STAY, so I’m still excited and looking forward to it. I always say this, but our STAY are the motivation for our music. Thank you so, so much. It’s thanks to STAY that we’re able to showcase good music and good performances. I really want to remain in STAY’s heart as a great singer, a singer who gave STAY the biggest happiness of their life. That’s my dream, and I’ll always work hard to make that come true. And now matter how much time passes, I’ll keep working hard and always stay humble! Our STAY have helped us so much and supported us, so we’ll also try to be a source of strength and motivation for our STAY. Thank you for making us the best artists and for letting us know that we’re great people. If it wasn’t for STAY, I would have never known what my strengths are or what I do well. It was STAY who showed me that. Don’t forget that you’re an amazing person. I’ll think of STAY and always live with a heart full of gratitude. So STAY, don’t leave our side. Happy birthday, and I love you💕

#stray kids #skz #han #han jisung #felix #lee felix #lee yongbok #felix lee #seungmin #kim seungmin #i.n #yang jeongin #skz updates

[1234-angelika]

Lost Loves

an: Hi all, this is my first post in a while so, I'm a little bit nervous to share. This is also my first time writing a fic without a happy ending while simultaneously being my first fic for the TGM fandom. I've had this in my drafts for a while and thought hell, why not share it, maybe someone else will enjoy reading. The plot basically follows the song Travellin' Soldier by The Chicks As always, I hope y'all enjoy!

words: 1.3k

warnings: major character death (at the end), vague mentions of a non-specific war,

You were still getting used to the California heat, only recently having moved to the Golden State. The air-conditioning broken in the diner certainly didn’t help battle against the wall of heat; the saving grace was the mild ocean breeze that would occasionally pass through the building.  You were busy wiping down your tables when the bell above the door jingled.

“Have a seat at the counter, and I’ll be with you in a moment!” You called out, hoping whomever it was heard you.

As you walked over to the counter, you fixed your hair and adjusted the bow, which was part of your uniform. Pulling out your notepad, you rounded the corner and stopped in front of him. The man clad in service khakis was sat staring at the counter, a toothpick between his teeth. He looked up as you stopped before him, and you noticed his stunning green eyes.  You took his order, and it wasn’t long until it was delivered. You gave him a little smile as you placed the plate down, hoping to ease him a little. 

“Thank you, Darlin’. Would you mind sitting down for a little bit and talking with me? I’m feeling a little low….”

“I’m off in an hour. I know someplace we can go.” You said with a smile, brushing your hand on his arm lightly as you walked away. 

You found him standing by the door waiting for you when you clocked out.  “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, Darlin’.  My name is Jake, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Jake. I’m Y/N.”

You walked down to the pier not far from work, a popular place but not so much that it wasn’t still secluded. As you sat side by side, legs dangling off the pier, it was silent for a while. 

“Thank you for coming with me, Y/N. I’ve been feeling a little low since coming to California.”

“Don’t mention it. Why're you feeling low?”

“I bet you have a boyfriend, but I got no one to send a letter to…mind if I send one to you?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend. I would like it if you sent me a letter …” you said, pausing before continuing, “I don’t mean to pry, but I saw that photo in your wallet with your family. Is there a reason you aren’t sending them letters?”

“We haven’t spoken since I enlisted. My parents have a farm in Texas, and it was expected that I would help out and eventually take over once they got too old.” He spoke with a wavering voice, the southern drawl only emphasizing it. “The last time we spoke, we fought—they especially didn’t like that I was leaving to fly planes—so I walked out.”

“I’m sorry it went like that, Jake.” You scooted closer to him, touching your legs, and you squeezed his hand. “I really would like to receive letters from you.”

He smiled down at you, and you couldn’t help but notice just how attractive the pilot was.

The two of you started sending letters before he got deployed to create a habit. You got to know each other through the details shared in the letters. You told him about your family, your dreams for your career before ending up in California, and the little things like your favourite colour, movie, and candy. In turn, you learned that Jake had three sisters—Mary, Grace and Annie—and one niece, Alana, who was 3, with another one on the way. You learned that he chose to enlist in the airforce because he wanted to help make a difference and believed that the military was somewhere he would be able to do that. You learned that his favourite colour was blue, precisely the colour of the bow you had in your hair when you met, and His favourite candy was sour patch kids, specifically yellow and green ones.  You and Jake fell in love through the written words you shared.

On your break one day at work, you sat down at an empty table and pulled out the most recent letter Jake had written to you. As you read the words you had already been over a hundred times, one of your co-workers came and sat across from you. 

“Who’s that from?” She asked, smacking her gum loudly and eyeing the paper in your hand.

“My boyfriend, Jake.”

She scoffed loudly, “that military boy you met six months back?”

“Yeah…”

“Oh hon, you could do so much better…” she said with a sigh and gave your hand a pat, “you’re so young. You could have a good life if you weren’t putting your life on hold for that boy.”

You folded the letter back into the envelope and tucked it into your pocket. You pushed yourself up at the table and started to walk off. “I’m not putting my life on hold, I’m figuring out what I want, and Jake is a part of that. It looks like my break is over. ”

“Hon, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

You scoured every small kiosk and stationery store in your area, looking for a particular envelope colour. When you found what you were looking for, you hurried home to write Jake a letter. You wrote about the time that had passed since the last letter, your life updates, things that had been happening in your area, and your upcoming plans, especially the big football game between UCLA and Texas. Smiling, you dampened the glue strip on the blue envelope and sealed it with a kiss. As soon as you put it in the post, you were excited about Jake’s letter.

Maybe a week later, you checked your mailbox after work, only to find the familiar envelope. Your name is scrawled across the front in cursive, something you know  Jake only does for you because you once said that you liked how your name looked written that way. 

Hey Darlin’,

It’s nice to hear about all the fun things you’re doing and keeping yourself busy. That football game sounds like a fun time; I wish I could go with you—it reminds me of my younger years on the team. It’s started getting intense over here, and we’re starting to tighten up a little. At night, I’ve been thinking of you. That day we met and the afternoon at the pier and your pretty smile.  This is going to be my last letter for a while, I won’t be able to send anything out, and they’re going to stop delivering mail, so the letter you sent will probably be the last one to get to me for now.

I love you lots, darling.

Yours,

Jake

As you finished reading the letter, your heart felt like it had dropped to your toes. Worry for your love overtook any other emotions you were feeling. 

By the eve of the big game,  it had been a few weeks since you heard from your boyfriend. You were trying not to worry too much, he was a very skilled pilot if he did say so himself, and he had a good team around him. But as the length of time stretched, your resolve began to crumble, and the worry seeped like sunlight through a cracked wall. 

You climbed to your seat in the stadium, hoping the feeling of being at the game would make you miss Jake less. Settling in, you got as comfy as possible, waiting for the game to start. As you were standing up for the national anthem, a family hurriedly settled into the seats around you, a young girl ending up in the chair beside you. The anthem was sung, and then a game official, followed by a man in full military dress,  walked to centre field to make an announcement. 

“Folks, let’s take a minute to bow our heads in respect for our soldiers killed overseas.” 

The military man was reading off a list of names, and as he did so, your worst fear came true.

"Jake Seresin."

#top gun #top gun maverick #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman x reader

[muchadoaboutliz]

Okay so let’s get into what’s happened between when I used this account regularly and now. In looking at old posts it seems like I stopped using Tumblr at the end of 2018 going into 2019. And let me tell you, there has been a lot!

I was a little shocked at how many posts were about how sad I was I had no love life 😅 But I guess that’s early 20s angst for you! Anyway I had mentioned I got into a new relationship before I left. Well…

Now we’re engaged! So that ended up working out a lot better then expected 😅 He’s an amazing person and I feel so loved every day and ridiculously lucky.

I also talked a lot about how miserable I was at my radio news job. And I’m a year and a half out from leaving that position! I’m going to post two photos to show you just how much leaving that job made my life better.

That first photo was me actually trying to smile at my job because I was having a good makeup day. I was dead behind the eyes, whereas now, I have my joy back. It comes and goes but it’s far more permanent than it was just a year and a half ago.

As you may be able to tell by the other photo, I’m finally working in sports! I’m at a university in the Midwest working with soccer, basketball, and softball. While it’s been a grind with high expectations, it’s so much better than anything I’ve ever done.

Like I got to go to both those places, for work! It’s been so fun and it’s only going to get better after I get my degree.

Which from that sentence you may be able to tell that I’m also in grad school. I’m going to be a master of communication at some point in the next few months. If I ever get all my work done, reading has been hard around all the sports 😅

I’ve made some amazing friends in my grad program who have been so wonderful. The coursework is challenging but is really opening my eyes to how much is possible in academia. I know looking back I’ll be grateful for the experience.

There’s been one other big change in my life, but it hasn’t been positive unfortunately. In October of 2020 I lost my first best friend. My dad passed away in a traffic accident while visiting family in a big city.

Not having my dad has left such a big hole in my heart. I miss him so often but know he’s in a better place. I’m glad he’s free of pain, but damn is it hard to remember that some times.

I know that was long but I’d you were wondering what I’ve been up to for the past few years, this is most of it! Honestly, I’m happy to be back here. I had a lot of happy Tumblr memories in a tough adolescence. I’m hopeful to make some more.

#life update #personal #tw: death #parent loss #grad school #grad student #engaged #women in sports #sports information #college athletics

[aquagustd]

Hiii 🫶🏻

I’m back after reading First Fall, and i think i’ve come to realize something as I was reading the drabble.

Long ramble below:

I know the ending’s already set in stone, but I honestly think that OC shouldn’t choose Jungkook. I think many of us readers have agreed with this, but he belongs in the past now. Don’t get me wrong, I can see why people sorta shifted to #TeamJK after First Time—including myself. But, I started to realize that I would not be accepting present Jungkook; I’d be looking at him as the old Jungkook from both Rewind and First Time. People change, and it’s obvious that HIE JK has (and not for the better so far). I feel like we as readers are clinging onto the Jungkook that made OC happy first. Mind you, this man left his girl TWICE. He abandoned Junho, all his friends, and the love of his life. Maybe there will be a more clear explanation from Jungkook’s perspective, but I cannot imagine leaving your child like that.. It’s almost inexplicable. I don’t wanna judge until we get things from his perspective, so I’ll stay neutral for now.

As for the teams that I am rooting for: I like Taehyung, but I feel like we don’t know enough about his background. But, he does love OC and has shown that he gets worried and cares about her a lot. But, hopefully more moments will be revealed on the things he does behind the scenes. Now, #TeamHobi 🥵 I wish OC and him could have at least hooked up (like a whole round or two). I fell in love with HIE Hoseok; And if OC doesnt want him, i’ll gladly take him 🫣. If not him, Jimin 😩 Makes me blush when he flirts with OC, so hopefully that gets explored even if briefly lmao. Overall, i’d stick with Taehyung. Most important ship of all time is Yoongi x OC, in my opinion.

Side Note: I kept imagining Junho as baby Jungkook. 🥹 Especially when Yoongi commented that Junho is baby Jungkook. For context, i’ll provide the baby photos of Jungkook that I was visualizing while reading First Fall. ❤️‍🩹 (I imagined Junho was months old).

hey !! i have nothing to say except that i agree w you 100% points were made 🫡 that’s exactly what i wanted to hear !! present jk not equal to past jk. they’re two separate people & that’s exactly how we should see him. people change drastically over the span of a couple of years irl too sadly 🥲

and i agree w what you said about tae too !! we don’t know much about him now oc and hoseok 👁👁👁listen i loved him when i wrote him but i didn’t think you guys would like him this much too 🥲 but i should’ve expected it yk. remember how he stuck up for her when she was going through all that shit ??? he definitely did it plenty times before and after that too. he’s the MAN she needs if she ever needed one ☝🏻

also yoongi x oc — yeah we should all invest in them bc their friendship is precious 🥺 + yuri !! but jimin 🫠 he’s hot but shady asf. but i’ll still simp for him 🫣

WAIT idk if you know and i can’t find that ask but junho’s visuals for hie is actually baby jk 🥺🥺🥺 and that’s why i describe him as jks baby twin in the fic so i’m so glad you see it too !! you’re definitely visualizing the right soft boy 🥹🥰

#hie junho’s visuals #hie: theories #fic: hie #squishies

[nancypullen]

Monday

It’s Memorial Day. Normally I’d try to post something moving and meaningful but you’ll have to give me a pass this year.  I’m going to pretend that everything is fine for a few hours and avoid thinking about or talking about anything that brings me to tears.  I need a break from the insanity of mankind.  Mercury is in retrograde until June 3rd, so the hippie part of my heart wants to blame everything on that. Just for this afternoon, I’m going to let it. SO... I’ve been out putting cages around the tomato plants because they’re growing like crazy. While I was chatting them up and letting them know that the cages were for their own good I was doing some back yard dreaming.  I picked the spot for my Jane Magnolia, I’m wondering of we want to expand that little patio (it would certainly be cheaper than expanding the tiny deck and I wouldn’t have to stain it), and thinking about a pretty outdoor rug and some chairs.  It’s already looking more like home, at least on the outside.  I’ve got flowers planted, a pretty hanging basket paired with a hummingbird feeder, and I’ve tidied up most of the mess left behind. Most.  It all makes me smile when we drive up to the house.  It’s not perfect, but it’s a start. As far as the inside of the house goes, I have BIG news. We finally have an installation date for the flooring!  Floors will start on June 1st. That meant that we had to push back the furniture delivery a couple of days, but I’m still doing a happy dance.  The dishwasher will be delivered on the same day as the furniture and will complete the kitchen appliances - hallelujah!  As if all of that isn’t a bundle of wonderful, we have a crew coming to paint starting June 8th. Pinch me! I must be dreaming.  I’m nervous about the paint.  I spent a lot of time moving samples around the house, testing them in different types of light, holding swatches up to the flooring...and I think I love my choice.  If I don’t we’re going to have to live with it.  I knew that I wanted a soft, soothing, gray-green-blue sort of color.  I thought it might be Sea Salt, but in bright light, which we have a lot of on the bottom floor, it turns too minty.  I finally settled on Austere Gray.  It was previously named Woody Rosemary (much prettier) but every so often they update the names to appeal to their target audience.  I must not be in that group, I prefer Rosemary over Austere any day.  I’ve decided to call it Austen Gray for Jane Austen, it makes me happy and confuses Mickey.  Anywho, not sure how this will show up on your screen but this is the color that will cover nearly every wall of the house.

Here’s a pic of it in a room with lighting much like our living room, similar furniture, but the floors pictured here are warmer/more orange than what we’ll have.

That space is more grand than what we’re dealing with, but gives a better idea of the color.  Kind of a rain washed, foggy, soft, calm, seaside garden vibe.  Or maybe that’s just what I see.  With those changes on the horizon we can turn our attention to things like kitchen counters, getting the cabinets painted, and just living here.  Things are already back to normal-ish.  Once Mickey was back at work and my days fell into the same old routine - cook, clean, laundry, cook, clean, laundry, repeat-  it started to feel like home.  Some things never change and those things are a comfort at times.  Like meals! My veggie eggs for breakfast, my vegetti and fake crab for lunch...

Even though I’ve got that vegetti smothered in Old Bay I’ll bet if the locals found out I was eating fake crab they’d make me turn in my Maryland driver’s license.  They take their crab very seriously here.

Speaking of my driver’s license.  My photo turned out as I’d imagined.  I look like I smell something bad.

Also delighted that my double chin made a cameo.  I spend so much time goofing off that when I have to take an official photo - passport, employee ID, driver’s license, whatever I don’t know what to do with my face.  It usually goes one of two ways, prison matron or lunatic on the lam.  This one is 100% prison matron. Not the kind that runs off with an inmate, the kind that tells you to pipe down.  Just thought of another food tradition we have - popcorn!  Every night, after the house is tidy, the dishwasher is running, I’ve had my bath and I’m in jammies watching some silly show - Mickey makes popcorn.  It’s my favorite time of day.  Oh, I know that we’re not supposed to snack in the evening and blah, blah, blah - but popcorn is my love language and when Mickey hands me my little bowl it’s as good as this...

Sorry, not sorry. At the end of my days when my life flashes before my eyes I’m pretty sure Mr. Darcy’s lake scene will be part of the highlight reel. This is how I look at popcorn.

Okay, I’ve gone off the rails and I’m sure there are chores that need to be done before dinner.  Heck, I might even do them.  Stay safe, stay well, seek happiness. XOXO, Nancy