#also these slides are pre-prepared from a kit but i’m gonna. make some more | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

annakie · 3 years

Text

A Lot of Words about a Thing

This is a “I’m writing this out so next time someone asks I can just point them to this (or copy/paste) instead of having to type it again” thing.

I’ve been doing Hello Fresh for the last two or three months and I thought I’d talk about the ups and downs of it and if I’m going to keep doing it. This is not an endorsement (which will be clear when you get to the overall middling scoring), but I will put a link at the bottom so we can both get a deal if you want to try it.

---------------

So anyway, I had been thinking about doing a meal kit for a long time but pulled the trigger on it back in... like Mid-January, I guess?

the tl;dr of it all is that I like it and I’ll probably keep doing it for awhile, but it’s not for everyone, and is expensive for what it is, especially if you already know how to cook.

Before I started, I made myself sit down and write out a quick list of what I wanted to get out of trying a meal kit experience, so I’ll rate how successful or not each one of those things is.

First of all, I want to also say, I can already cook. I’m a pretty good cook. I can follow a recipe and improvise successfully when necessary usually. One reason why a lot of people do a meal kit is because they need to learn how to cook and that definitely wasn’t me.

Also, they offer a variety of number and portions on meals to try. I get three meals a week, with two portions a meal, which means I cook Hello Fresh for dinner one night, and usually the next night have the leftovers. Friday night is usually “Yay You Made It To The Weekend, You Get To Order Takeout” night. You can order for several more meals a week, and for up to four portions in each meal, if you want.

So on to the reasons why I decided to try HF, with a grading of how I feel about each one after trying.

Reason One: Try Something New

I was super excited at the beginning of the pandemic now working from home full time, because this was a great chance to really start trying some new recipes. I had fallen into a pretty bad rut for awhile of some of the same frozen type meals or just making super easy things for dinner and sandwiches for lunch pre-pandemic. Even though my commute was stupid easy I often felt too wiped at the end of the day to make like, real meals. So when the pandemic hit and I was Home All The Time, for the first couple of months I was buying interesting ingredients (what I could get my hands on at the time) and really digging into making new and interesting things. Even baking my own bread and bought some new kitchen gadgets like a pressure cooker to expand my repertoire.

By like... the end of summer... well the good news was that I was still cooking and hadn’t fallen back to a packaged-food routine most of the time (though still some frozen pizzas or bags of pre-made Asian or Italian food you cook on the stovetop mostly for lunch) but also I had more or less found The Ten Things I Make (like Spaghetti, a great chicken and rice dish that is so good and makes about 6 meals worth of leftovers) and I was real tired of like, recipe hunting. The most work I was then doing was finding new pressure cooker recipes and tbh almost all of what I was making was Chicken In Some Kind of Sauce Over Rice. I was burned out.

So Hello Fresh... has been great for that. I have only made the same thing a couple of times and those were only because i loved them so much the first time I wanted that thing again. For the most part, I have tried just a ton of new things, including some ingredients I’ve never worked with before or really thought I wouldn’t like! And I did! I feel like I am often trying something I have never made before.

Reason 1.5: Variety

OK this is hand-in-hand with Something New but also slightly different.

Try Something New would be rated like a 4.5 out of 5 stars.... but some stars are taken away though, because a lot of their recipes are very similar. For a protein, there’s like, chicken breasts, hamburger meat, pork chops, chicken sausage and pork sausage. Occasionally steak. Basically every meal will start with one of those things.... oh and I guess there’s like some fish choices, but I hate fish. There’s also vegetarian options, which I have only occasionally gotten. So within the variety, there’s a lot of similarities.

Also there are a lot of same ingredients in their recipes. I have grated a lot of lemons and limes. I have chopped up a lot of carrots, green onions, and potatoes (so many potatoes.) I have consumed more sour cream than I ever have. I have started looking for ways to add even a little more variety to the things that are often-repeats that they give you.

But part of that is my fault -- I am mostly selecting items that I know I will like, or can modify to how I like. There are a lot of veggie and fish-based choices I could pick up most weeks which I avoid.

And almost everything I’ve ever made... I’d make again. I save all the recipe cards so that someday when I don’t wanna do HF anymore, I will have all them all handy to make later. The HF Subreddit also has a lot of resources like how to do their custom spice mixes, very handy. There’s been maybe 3 things I’ve made which I’d say were Just Okay, but nothing I’d say that was bad. And some of the ideas in this paragraph I talk about more, further down.

But also on the topic of “Variety” -- since every meal I make has two portions (occasionally I will stretch something to three) -- points are given back because I’m not “Making a huge pot of spaghetti that I eat for five meals in a row.” So that’s good, even if it means more cooking overall.

So honestly, on Something New overall, I’ll give this like a 3.5 out of 5 stars, correcting up to 4 stars on a curve, since I strike entire categories of their offerings based on my own tastes. They offer a pretty good variety of meals to select, and part of the problem here is my fault for hating All Seafood and not being thrilled with the vegetarian options (I also don’t feel like I’m getting my money’s worth without a protein) so there are a lot of meals re-using similar ingredients. It slides back down to a 3.5 though when you factor in Reasons 3 & 4 below.

Reason Two: Kill Analysis Paralysis

A thing I found increasingly happening by the end of last year was analysis paralysis. Especially as I started a new job where I’m much, much busier (but happier) in October. I would find myself staring at the fact that I’d have to make the decision on What To Make For Dinner and dreading it more and more. It wasn’t really the cooking I hated, but the deciding what to cook, which got me into the lack of variety rut. More often than I’d like to admit I’d just make a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese or like... just... toast... for dinner because the decision-making part of my brain was tired... or out of spoons as the kids say these days.

This is maybe my favorite part of Hello Fresh overall. Once every week or two I log onto HF, pick what I’m going to eat like... 5 or 6 weeks in the future, which I can do at a time when I have that decision-making energy, and forget about it. Every Monday a box shows up on my doorstep, I see what nice things I picked out for myself several weeks ago, and the most I have to decide is which order I will make those things in.

So when it’s a “Make Dinner” day, I don’t have that “shit, I have to make a decision” feeling. I already know because I pre-planned it back when I wasn’t at the end of a long workday. It’s one of those small, dumb things that really really helps me mentally in an almost inexplicable way. And I can feel better about myself because I didn’t eat something dumb for dinner. And I still allow myself to make easy things for lunch, like a small frozen pizza, a sandwich and some chips, or hey, Kraft Dinner. And sometimes I do make a big pot of Spaghetti or something that I love and will just have that for lunch every day for a week, and so I don’t have to feel like I’m always cooking.

And on Eat HF Leftovers For Dinner nights, that’s even better, because I have a tasty meal and it just had to get reheated in the microwave or stovetop. Some meals are easy to half-prepare ahead of time on day one, and just do the last steps on leftover night the next night to have fresher dinner easily.

Just 5 out of 5 stars here. This is my favorite part.

Reason Three: Eat More Vegetables.

Uh, yeah, I’m terrible about eating veggies on my own. The best I can do usually is buy a bag of mixed greens and try to have a side salad with dinner, or buy bags of frozen foods and hope they come with veggies I’d eat.

So the good thing here, is that when HF sends me vegetables to make, if it’s a veggie I like, I’ll probably make it.

The big problem, though, is that there’s no substitutions. And I’m still not gonna eat brussell sprouts or, broccoli, or mushrooms. I was a sport and tried making them (except the mushrooms) the first time I got recipes that used them as sides. And nope... still cant.

But hey, I have done a lot better at eating more fresh green beans, and onions, and carrots, and peppers. Though sometimes I just snack on the bell pepper instead of cooking it. Still, I call it a win.

I really, really wish I could trade out the side-dish vegetables I know I won’t eat for like, a small side salad, an apple, or hey, even just... carrots! But nope, no substitutions. =\ I’d score this way better if we could do so.

Still, I’m doing better here, and overall, more vegetables are being eaten. So, 3 out of 5 stars.

Reason Four: Waste Less Food

The amount of fruit and vegetables I’ve ordered and thrown away over the last year make me cringe. I would order things with every intention of eating them and then just... not. Oh yeah I need two lemons, an orange and two limes in case I make ____ recipe! I need a new bag of baby carrots to snack on and make a side dish and cut into a salad!

And then I maybe... maybe use half of that before it goes bad.

Probably less. Because of the Analysis Paralysis and not trying new things. You run into that problem where you don’t have the ingredients on hand to make a new thing so you can’t make a new thing... but then you buy them but forgot (crucial thing) so the thing still doesn’t get made. Or you just... don’t plan when you’re gonna make the thing and by the time I’d be like “Oh yeah I should make something with those vegetables” they’d have already turned.

SO... I felt shitty throwing away so much produce, and loaves of bread, and other perishable food that got maybe half-eaten. So much, for so long. Yeah, I know I could do better with my meal planning, but it’s been one of those things I always vow to do, and then did not do that thing.

Doing HF has really made me re-evaluate what I buy as groceries, and I have cut way down on ordering unnecessary produce and perishables like bread. Because I don’t really have to worry about dinner and am allowing myself to do easy lunches that don’t require real “cooking.” So, overall I am definitely buying and tossing less food.

Also just as another quick note -- what also tends to get tossed out of my HF boxes is a “spicy ingredient” But in some ways, this works in HF’s favor. I don’t really like spicy foods. A small amount of spice is OK but I’d rather just do without it in most things, sorry I’m that white girl. Most “Spicy” HF meals get spicy by a spice blend, a packet of sriracha / hot sauce, or a jalapeno which they want you to cut up and include. So whenever I see something that looks good but listed as “spicy”, I can check the ingredient list first and see what makes it spicy, If I think the thing still sounds good without the spicy part, I can order it. So yeah, I’ll toss spicy ingredients, but that is 100% my choice and it makes things better because it gives me more variety to order those meals and still make it to my own taste.

Oh, and occasionally, the produce is just bad when you get it or not long after. I haven’t had this problem often, mostly with ginger and garlic. I do evaluate which meal has the most perishables when I get my box on Mondays and make those first. Apparently you can call customer service if this happens for a small credit, but I just use pre-diced garlic or powdered ginger when this has happened to me.

So, this would be a 4.5 out of 5 except for... as discussed above... I end up tossing out HF vegetables on occasion I know I hate and won’t eat, and they won’t let me make substitutions.

But also... cooking for myself... when I make a big batch of something that lasts 4 - 6 portions... more often than I’d like to admit, the last portion or two would never get eaten. Sometimes I’d TELL myself I’d eat them in a week or so and freeze them only to throw it all away months later.

So let’s call this a 4 out of 5. Overall, significantly less food waste with HF.

Reason Five: Save Time

I thought that doing HF would mean less prep-work and less time in the kitchen, especially with their easy-to-follow recipes and pre-measured ingredients.

So in that way, yes, time is saved, and it so again takes that mental load off in a lot of ways of not having to make all those pesky decisions. The materials you’re working with and what you need to do are all Right There for you. It’s really, nice.

As a side note, like I said I’m a good cook, and I haven’t had any problems following along anything I’ve made, but there were a few things I think are more of a moderate skill level and could be a little challenging for newcomers. But then, I see people on the HF subreddit all the time saying they learned to cook with no skill and they find the recipes easy so... we’re good there.

However, Saving Time loses points for two big reasons:

First, I’m only making two portions of each meal. Which, ok... this is my decision. I could order four portions per meal. But then... hey that’s taking big points away on the “variety” front.

The Vegetable Chopping / prep work on a lot of the recipes often takes 10 - 20 minutes, depending on the number of fruits and veggies. So yay for meeting Goal #3 (more veggies) even if it is balanced out by Goal #5.

And unfortunately, most meals end up taking up more dishes than I’d like to clean up (usually at least a pan and baking sheet, sometimes also a pot. Plus knife, cutting board, tongs, stirring spoon, maybe a zester, etc.) So no time is saved on cleanup, either.

Mostly where time is saved is having to pick out recipes and making sure you have/buy all the ingredients. Not much is saved in the actual cooking.

I do, however, enjoy the time I spent cooking and the knowledge that I’m gonna make something good, so we’ll give it a bit back, there.

As a time saver, I’d give HF a 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Reason Six: Save Money

Y’all, Hello Fresh is expensive. Honestly the #1 reason I re-evaluate whether I want to keep going with it every few weeks is the cost. Even though I can afford it.

For basically six meals a week, I’m paying $63 for the food, plus $9 for the shipping.

Which means I’m paying $12 a meal. For food I make myself.

Not cheap. A luxury.

Where I don’t feel quite so bad about it is the fact that... for the most part, I am wasting a lot less food. Except, as mentioned, when I can’t swap out vegetables I hate for something I’d actually eat.

So that makes it irk me even more when I am throwing out vegetables I really hate, because they’re expensive vegetables.

Also that price tag is motivation to make and eat every meal.

Overall, my grocery bills have gone down... honestly pretty significantly. Because I’m not overbuying food! Now, they haven’t gone down enough to even out the cost for Hello Fresh... I’m still probably spending about 50% more overall for each dinner now than I was before.

This isn’t a cost savings. It’s an expense, but one I can afford. And part of writing out this post is to remind myself to decide when the experience is no longer worth the expense.

1 out of 5 stars.

Reason Seven: Eat Better

I would like to challenge myself to define “Better” because that’s all I wrote down when I made the list.

Healthier? Eeeehhhhhh.... maybe? But not much.

Hello Fresh does offer lighter choices, and sometimes I pick those because they look good and are filled with things I will eat!

But I’m just as likely to pick the most calor-ific things on the menu.

HF also adds a lot of Sour Cream to their recipes, and encourage you to salt and butter your food liberally. I try to cut down on some of this where I think it’s too much. But sometimes there’s not much to cut out and still have the meal you ordered.

But also I’m not eating any worse calorie-wise than I was before, probably. And overall I’m eating a lot more “real food” instead of “packaged food” and fast food than I was.... especially pre-pandemic. And again, I AM eating a lot more vegetables, so.... that’s... better?

If I define better as Tastier, yeah, I’m doing pretty good in that regard, haha.

So Better as in healthier: 2.5 of 5 stars.

Better as in tastier: 4 out of 5 stars.

Overall Scoring & Tips

Okay, overall that comes out to a 3.18 out of 5, which I’d round up to a 3.5... which is a pretty good score for how I feel about HF overall. My current plan is to keep doing it until I go back to working in the office again, and re-evaluate. For now, it works for me.

IF YOU WANT TO TRY IT, this is my referral link, you’ll get $70 off over a month’s worth of meals (so like, $20 or something off 3 boxes and $10 off the last one, something like that.

I also have four “Free box” codes to give out, PM me if you want one of those. I don’t think those are compatible with the $70 off link, but it might be a box of completely free food for you? I don’t know how it works, but this may be the better deal? PM me.

If you decide to go for it, here’s a few tips:

Every week or two, go in and choose your meals, don’t let HF choose for you unless you really don’t care.

Read the ingredient list and make sure there’s not too much stuff you don’t like coming in a meal.

The extras are pretty expensive and not really worth it.

Plan on each meal taking about 45 minutes to cook from start to finish including chopping vegetables. Another 10 - 20 with cleanup depending if you have to handwash dishes or not.

Look for ways to make the meal healthier, especially if it encourages you to add more butter and salt near the end. You probably do NOT need to do so.

Buy a decent pepper. I love McCormick’s Peppercorn Medley pepper grinder. Also sea salt grinder is my personal salt preference.

Add some of your own seasonings. I buy a jar of pre-diced garlic (yes yes I know the criticisms of the stuff but it’s easy) and throw in a half tablespoon or so of that into a lot of recipes. Also there are a lot of potatoes that they want you to just cook with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw some garlic or onion salt on them, or some Lawry’s Seasoning Salt or steak salt of your choice for some variety.

Your basic 2 quart pot, 8 - 12″ frying pan and cookie sheet, plus a cutting board, decent veggie knife, and typical kitchen utensil set are all you need. However, a decent meat thermometer and a zester that collects the zest as you go are both highly recommended.

A sieve and very small rice cooker have also been a lifesaver for making good rice that doesn’t get overcooked.

#personal post tag thingy #hello fresh #food #meal kit #meal kits

8 notes · View notes

rizzizzsins-blog · 5 years

Text

From the Ashes, Ch 7

Wanna read this on Archive? Click here.

Asher smelled eggs. Was Theo cooking?

“Thanks, Theo,” He mumbled, before cuddling up in bed.

“Err, I think you’re lost, princey.”

Asher squeaked, almost falling out of the bed. “Why are you sleeping with me?”

“You death gripped my jacket and wouldn’t let go,” Cinn shrugged.

“So just drop the jacket!”

“I did. Then ya grabbed my shirt.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blamed you right away like that,” Asher apologized.

“It’s fine. If there was a weird skeleton in my bed, I’d flip my shit too. Well… technically there’s a weird dryad in my bed right now, but I’m managin’.”

“If you’re in here, is it your brother that’s cooking?”

“Yeah, he never lets me cook unless he’s out. He says it’s because my food sucks, but I know it’s ‘cause he likes cooking too much.”

Asher smiled a little. It was nice to not do the cooking today. He’d come to associate it with stress, anger, and dissatisfaction from his partner.

Ex-partner.

“Well, thanks for letting me stay the night. I’m gonna go hit up a gas station for grub.”

“You don’t need to do that. Breakfast is right here.”

“Your brother’s cooking for you and himself, not the hideous guest you brought over last night.”

“I’LL COOK FOR WHOEVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE.”

How long had his brother been sitting there? There was a smug grin on his fanged face, his leg crossed over his knee. Asher reached up and shut his dropped jaw.

“AND A GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO, GUEST.”

“G-good morning. I’m really sorry for coming in like I did yesterday! I didn’t know I would be---”

“NONE OF--- Ah. Excuse me. Inside voice. None of that. If Cinn trusted you enough to bring you into our home, then I trust Cinn’s judgement on your character.”

Asher stood up and shook the Captain’s hand. “My name’s Asher. It’s nice to meet you. You really don’t have to cook--”

“I know I don’t. But I want to, so I will. Now, I was going to make french toast, but would you prefer something else?”

Asher’s stomach growled. He winced; it never used to be that loud. He’d never been so hungry for food in his life, even on the streets when he was going without.

“I don’t want to inconvenience you, but could you make me an omelet? Mine always look terrible and I haven’t gotten the hang of them.”

Were those stars in Edge’s eyes? They were only there for a second. Maybe Asher had imagined them.

“I’LL DO YOU ONE BETTER AND SHOW YOU HOW TO DO IT PROPERLY! FOLLOW ME!”

And he was off.

“Hehehe, you got him riled up. Hope you like cookin’ lessons,” Cinn smiled, sighing contentedly.

“I usually associate cooking with fighting,” Asher admitted. “But I want to try.”

“That’s all he needs. Now, go make an omelet, princey.”

Asher almost fell on his ass trying to reach the bedroom door. Cinn floated him his cane.

“Right…. Thanks.”

The cane was hard to get used to. It was poor quality, and he could hear it creak with every step he took. Not that he had the money to buy a new one.

“WHAT’S THE HOLDU--- OH. My apologies. I often forget that not all monsters can keep pace with the Captain of the Royal Guard, nyeh heh heh.”

“No, I should have been faster.”

“I WAS BEING IMPATIENT. IT IS ONE OF MY FEW FAULTS. PLEASE FORGIVE ME.”

Asher just nodded, trying to make this conversation go away.

“NOW THEN! THE FIRST--- the first step is prep. And it’s the most important!” Edge smiled brightly at him, showing off very pointed teeth. It was cute. Scary but cute. “What do you like best in your omelet?”

“Errr, usually just ham and cheese. Bacon if I make a little extra change that week.”

“Have you ever considered yellow curry powder?” Edge grinned.

“I hadn’t. I’m willing to give it a shot, though,” Asher agreed, surprised.

“Well. Reach in the fridge and set out the ham, and whatever cheese you like. I have a very large variety, so if you are having trouble deciding, I will be happy to assist.”

“Probably just cheddar.” Asher was a little embarrassed. Some of those individual cheeses were worth more than he made in a shift, and he was a guy of simple tastes anyway.

“Cheddar’s versatility is highly underrated. There is no shame in choosing a safe favorite,” Edge assured him. “Here. A chair so that you can cut cheese off the block without worrying about your cane.” He floated a chair over to the table so that Asher could cut. Asher thanked him and sat down.

“How much am I making? Just for myself, or are we all having omelettes now?”

“We’ll all have omelettes, and I can take my current leftovers to Honey and Azure’s house later. Also, you need the practice.”

Asher nodded and started slicing the cheese.

“No, no, you’re doing it all wrong.”

“Well, you’re not teaching me in a way that I can learn! There’s a bunch of intermediate steps that you don’t tell me about, and then you get mad when I can’t read your mind!”

“Ugh, forget it. Just make scrambled.”

“I--- we’re halfway through! I don’t wanna waste all our work.”

“You burned the fucking hollandaise! It’s already wasted.” Theo tossed off his apron. “I’m eating somewhere else.”

“ASHER, YOU’RE BLEEDING!”

“What?”

Asher’s spasms had begun again, and he’d sliced his finger open while daydreaming. Black sap, thicker than molasses, poured out of him. It smelled like blood and maple syrup. He gagged on the scent, the look of it, everything.

“Here, I’ll get the first aid kit.”

Before Asher could protest, Edge’s magic gently removed the knife from his hands, pressed his hands down to still them, and patched him up. He was very thorough, disinfecting the wound with immense care. As if anything would ever grow on Asher again.

“That should do it. Would you like to stop for now?”

“I’m eating somewhere else.”

“N-no! I want to learn.” Asher winced, waiting for pushback.

Instead, Edge gave him an impressed look. “Then let’s continue. You got some blood on the cheese, so you’ll have to start over. Do you think you can cut it without hurting yourself?”

Asher nodded, determined to keep his head in the present.

He kept having flickers of arguments in his mind, but he pushed them down and cut enough cheese off the block for every omelet.

“Excellent work. When your hands are not spasming, you have a very good touch for detail.”

Asher didn’t know what to say to that, so his head nodded, then shook.

“The ham is pre-sliced at the deli counter where I shop, so you just need to lay it out so that it’s immediately accessible.”

“I can do that.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Just don’t push yourself too hard.”

Asher’s twitching slowed down, and he was able to lay the ham out with no problems. Nice.

“Now! Do you think that you can cleanly crack some eggs?”

Asher shook his head. He didn’t want to get egg everywhere.

“Then I shall do this part, but there are handy devices that will crack an egg for you. I can purchase one for you in the future.”

Before Asher could protest, Edge moved right on.

“Now, many home cooks do not know this, but you should add just a bit of water to your egg mixture. It will make them fluffier.”

“Really? That seems counterintuitive,” Asher was surprised.

“It does, but it works.” He handed the pitcher to Asher. Asher spilled a little bit of it, but got enough water into the bowl.

“Now, I am not sure you’re within capacity to whisk by hand, so here is an electric whisk. The lowest setting should be fine… whisk until your yolks and whites are completely blended.”

Asher nodded. It took focus to hold the electric whisk, but he managed to work it out fine.

“Wonderful. I have been preheating our pan at high heat. I use copper, but you should probably use nonstick for all of your needs. Grab the stick of butter and rub the tip all over the bottom of the pan until it is completely covered; take care not to burn yourself.”

Asher nodded. The butter hissed a little upon touching the pan, but he didn’t startle and held his hands steady.

“When the butter stops foaming, the pan is ready.”

The butter stopped foaming.

“Now, add the eggs, carefully.”

“I don’t think I should.”

“Then, I shall.” Edge added the eggs.

“Let the eggs sit for a while, then scramble the loose eggs over the set ones a bit.”

He did.

“Now we can add toppings. I shall do this part.”

The ham and cheese was added.

“Now, we only need to flip one side, because the other will flip itself when we slide it onto the plate. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

It had been fun, but painfully eye-opening. What used to be a task he could do in his sleep now required his full concentration and he couldn’t chop cheese right. He couldn’t even pour water right.

“What is wrong? We still have 2 more to go.”

“I--- I’m sorry…. I’ll just get in the way ...”

Edge gently took his hand.

“Asher. I said that I would teach you how to do this. Because I am prepared to teach you, as you are, how to best make an omelet. If you need my magic to steady your hands, or you need me to do some steps, I volunteered to do it, and I want to.”

Asher didn’t know how to respond to that.

Helping him as he was.

An invalid.

Someone useless.

“Get out of your head and back to the kitchen, Ash,” Cinn grounded him, having teleported in.

Asher took a deep breath, and continued to make breakfast until everything was done.

“.... Alright… it's done." The whole thing had worked him up into a light sweat. Cooking. Had made him sweat.

"Grub time, space cadet," Cinn gently nudged him and guided him to his seat.

It was the best omelet he's ever had in his life. Edge had used three eggs for him despite his insistence that one was enough, and he could see why.

Wait, why did Edge know that? Cinn had been around the hospital, so him overhearing wasn't out of the ordinary.

"How do you already know what to do? Every step I take, you seem ready to catch me. You have an abnormal amount of knowledge about such a rare condition."

Cinn sighed. "You're a sharp one, princey. I actually wanted to talk to ya about it. My--- our dad--- has the same condition. So we've been through the motions already."

"Except he wasn't nearly as appreciative of our help and swatted at us when we tried to touch him," Edge grumbled. "I thought I was short tempered and irritable, and then I met my father."

Asher swallowed. "Estranged family?"

"Well, he and many others we know we're hurtling through the VOID, so… yes. That's about as estranged as one can get," Edge chuckled.

"Wait, there are more? Then why did Dr. Dreemurr make it seem so rare?" He asked Cinn, confused.

"Well…. Uh…. It's not as… visible on 'em as it is on you. No offense. But they like to keep it under the rug. We try an' respect their wishes, but bro and I thought it was important this time."

"When did you two talk?"

"I woke Cinn earlier and we charled while you were canoodling."

Asher's face turns darker, yet darker.

"Nyeh heh heh, worry not! I was only teasing you a bit. Anyways, my brother expressed concerns about homelessness with me, and---"

"No. I won't be a burden to you or the Royal Family."

Cinn sighed. "Had a feelin' you would say that… so we came up with somethin' else."

"Our family recently bought a… vintage--"

"Derelict," Cinn interjected.

".... Homely, very small assisted living home, repurposed from a large old mansion."

Asher opened his mouth to protest, but Edge stopped him.

"Now, we do not intend on putting the place back in business. But our father, and his colleagues, as much as they'd never admit it, are finding living there, even on their own, to be far more accessible than living with us or in a regular apartment."

Cinn sighed. "They're going to work, and doin' a little better than when they were livin' with us and our cousins, but visiting is… a bit of a nightmare?"

Edge nodded.

"Anyways, since we've noticed you despise taking something for nothing, our proposal is this: you may have a room and a study in the mansion, and your duty is to keep the house at least a little cleaner than when we last saw it… and try to keep our fathers from killing each other."

Asher paused. He'd just gotten out of a shitty roommate situation, and now they were offering him another, with a nebulous amount of roommates. But it was a mansion, not a one room studio apartment, and they were strangers, not the person who was supposed to be the love of his life.

Maybe he could make this work.

"I want to meet your cousins, make sure they're okay with it, then I want to see the grounds… and at least glimpse the people I would be living with."

"Heh, glimpse is pretty fuckin' accurate. Those guys are like mole rats. They stay in their lab if they're in a good mood, disperse to their studies once they start fightin', and occasionally remember to sleep."

"In the worst possible places, I might add. On the couch, under the couch, in the middle of the hall, in the bathroom… that is probably something you should be aware of as well."

Asher nodded.

"How soon can I meet your cousins and see the grounds? I don't want to keep infringing on your space."

"Hmm… I can ask and see if they can clear their schedules. Give me a moment.

LordEdgeLord: HELLO

LordEdgeLord: I WOULD LIKE TO FORMALLY ANNOUNCE THAT, NO THANKS TO ANY OF YOU, I HAVE LOCATED WHAT I BELIEVE TO BE A SUITABLE TENANT

Nillawafer: you sure that's a good idea?

the fight over the stolen k cups hasn't even been resolved yet

LordEdgeLord: LOOK, THERE WILL LITERALLY NEVER BE A 'GOOD TIME' FOR US TO INTRODUCE CHANGE INTO THAT HOUSE. THE TENANT IS UNDER DURESS AND I WOULD LIKE TO MOVE HIM IN QUICKLY.

Nillawafer: wait a sec

Nillawafer: is this the void accident victim? My answer's no.

LordEdgeLord: AND WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOUR ANSWER BE THE DECIDING ONE WHEN NO ONE ELSE IN THE CHAT HAS SAID ANYTHING

LordEdgeLord: WHAT WOULD PAPY SAY ABOUT YOU SPEAKING FOR HIM?

Nillawafer: you keep my little bro the fuck out of this. He doesn't need to know

PapayaSkeleton95: NEED TO KNOW ABOUT WHAT, SANS

Nillawafer: oh you piece of shit Edge

LordEdgeLord: YES. I'M TRYING TO FIND LODGING FOR A MAN WHO HAS NOTHING LEFT AND I'M THE PIECE OF SHIT.

PapayaSkeleton95: LOOK BOTH OF YOU STOP TYPING I'M READING THROUGH THE HISTORY

PapayaSkeleton95: OK I'M DONE READING

PapayaSkeleton95: YOU HAVE MY BLESSING EDGE

Nillawafer: wth paps?? You know throwing some decrepit beat up void victim into that house is just gonna make all of them feel worse

Nillawafer: the last thing we need is them getting paranoid and working harder towards a cure that doesn't exist

PapayaSkeleton95: SANS THEY WILL CONTINUE WORK ON THAT CONFOUNDED CURE NO MATTER WHAT WE DO

PapayaSkeleton95: YOU KNOW WE CANNOT HELP THEM

Nillawafer: that doesn't mean we have to make it worse

PapayaSkeleton95: WE CANNOT HELP OUR FATHERS. BUT WE CAN HELP THIS YOUNG MAN. HE'S STILL IN COLLEGE SANS, HE'S BARELY YOUNGER THAN I AM

PapayaSkeleton95: WHO KNOWS, MAYBE THIS NEW PERSON CAN ASSIST THEM IN WAYS THAT WE CANNOT

HoneyMcStickyBuns: sorry to interject but that's a lotta pressure to put on a guy who almost died. Just wanted to make that clear

PapayaSkeleton95: OH OF COURSE

I DID NOT MEAN TO INSINUATE THAT THEY WERE REQUIRED TO

HoneyMcStickyBuns: I dunno. I feel like that house is the worst place to recover. how would you feel if you were constantly surrounded by hateful old men who think you're nothing?

PapayaSkeleton95: I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THAT FEELS. I AM A LAWYER IN MY 20S SURROUNDED BY HUMANS THAT WANT TO SEE ME FAIL. I THINK YOU ARE MAKING A JUDGEMENT CALL THAT IS UP TO THE TENANT TO DECIDE FOR HIMSELF

HoneyMcStickyBuns: welp last thing I need is to get blamed for more trauma and shit going wrong so my vote's a no

L00dBerry: I VOTE YES! IF IT'S EITHER THAT OR THEM BEING ALL ALONE, THEN MAYBE OUR FATHERS WOULD BE BETTER COMPANY

HoneyMcStickyBuns: thought I told you to change your name

L00dBerry: SURE THING HoneyMcStickyBuns

Nillawafer: ok if you two are gonna keep fighting then you should log off and do it irl. We have other votes to collect

EDGE: SO FAR 3 YES AND 2 NO

Nillawafer: i counted 2

SinnamonRoll: yeah my vote's yes vanilla

Nillawafer: really Cinn? You know this is gonna end in disaster

SinnamonRoll: actually Nil, I don't

And neither do you, not really, so stop acting like you're fuckin smarter than everyone

Nillawafer: ok Cinn real convincing

SourGrapes333: MY VOTE IS MAYBE. I NEED TO MEET THEM FIRST.

Xxxprxo: agreed

Cortad0: I agree with my brothers.

Scampalicious: yes for me

Vionetta: MY FILTHY ASHTRAY BROTHER HAS SPOKEN WELL ENOUGH OF THIS PERSON THAT I WOULD LIKE TO CONCUR.

F1lmN0iR: MY BROTHER AND I SAY NO. NO ONE ELSE SHOULD HAVE TO PUT UP WITH OUR MANIPULATIVE BASTARD OF A FATHER

sMutty: yeah it's a no for me. Thanks m'Lord

LickmyIliacs: I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE OUR FATHER BRANCHING OUT.

Rosieposa: yeah poor guy really needs a new playmate

LordEdgeLord: THAT IS IN NO WAY A PART OF HIS DUTIES AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU TELLING HIM OTHERWISE YOU DEGENERATES

Rosieposa: are you as boring in bed as you are in this chat

Rosieposa was kicked for: 1 hour

LordEdgeLord: ANYWAYS

KissMyAxe: typical of you to not even ask how we feel edgy

SugarSpiceandNice: NoW noW bRoTHER

I THinK it'S a LOVELy iDEA ESpeCIALLY FOR OUr FATHEr. He TeNDS TO selF ISOlatE JUst LiKE YOu!

KissMyAxe: my concern is the kid himself being isolated. that old man seems perfectly happy to spend the rest of eternity staring into space and hiding in his bed but this new guy might not be the same

My vote's a no

SugarSpiceandNice: YES FOR ME

LordEdgeLord: SO WE HAVE MOSTLY YESES AND A FEW MAYBES. WOULD ANY OF YOU LIKE TO MEET THE YOUNG MAN FOR LUNCH OR DINNER

Nillawafer: fine. But it's gonna be at the mansion. He deserves to see what it's really like in there.

LordEdgeLord: YES WHATEVER

Edge looked up. "They want to meet today at dinner, in the manor."

“Jeez, already? That was fast.”

“Yeah, whenever Nilla doesn’t feel like draggin’ his fuckin’ feet.”

“SANS! It’s ‘dragging his mother fucking feet.” Both brothers had a good chuckle at that.

“Well…. I don’t have anything to wear. Besides what’s on me right now.”

Edge looked at him incredulously. “Are you kidding? That’s the easiest thing to fix ever. We’re going shopping!”

“Wh--what? I don’t have shopping money!“

“Well, the King and Queen do, and I’ve already texted them. They’re not taking no for an answer this time!”

Asher sighed deeply. Maybe shopping wouldn’t hurt, not this time.

“Alright. Let’s go shopping.”

#from the ashes #fta #ssll #ssll inspired #undertail

0 notes