#also this is just my opinion & im in no way dying on a hill that one is better than the other

[fairyfried]

dunno if this is an unpopular opinion but i actually prefer dimension 20 a lot more to critical role. just for me, personally, it’s more my style of story telling where it’s being committed to, but the humor is more light and prominent. and generally i find brennen lee mulligan to be more engaging— not that matt mercer isn’t excellent at what he does. but i think this could all come down to if u prefer a comedy actor’s take to a voice actor’s take on the game.

this also might be a bold statement that hopefully doesnt get me crucified, but i think if the majority of dimension 20’s stuff wasnt behind a paywall theyd have the potential to be more popular than critical role. (though i understand why they have the paywall, their sets are elaborate and no doubt expensive)

#fried filibuster #<- thats the tag for random bs i say that isn’t important #also this is just my opinion & im in no way dying on a hill that one is better than the other #dimension 20 #critical role #d&d group #dnd #d&d 5e #d&d rp #dungeonsanddragons #dungeons and dragons #dnd campaign #dnd group #d&d campaign

[hannigramislife]

for my own gratification bc i just ran into nie mingjue hate in the wild, would you mind making a post that defends my poor good boy? he worked so hard and got gaslit to shit before getting murdered terribly ;; literally everyone sat there telling him "youre being too harsh" and he's just responding appropriately. like yeah, if you witness a murder, ya kinda got to do something about that as a clan leader. its kinda your responsibility, even when you care about the person who did the murdering. he was also a really young when he took on the role of clan leader and idk, it just made me rlly sad to see people dunk on him cuz wtf he's literally just trying his best in an impossible situation WHILE being perpetually fucked over by his clan's own traditional cultivation cuz now the stronger he is as a leader, the closer he is to going literally insane and dying bc of it. (mingjue did nothing wrong i will die on this hill) ((sorry for going on a tirade, im just sad and defensive of my good boy rn))

Oh no! I'm so sorry you had to go through Nie Mingjue hate! Truly tragic. I went through that once when in the beginning of me reading the books, when I still had no proper opinions, and never again.

I'm more than willing to make a post about Nie Mingjue! I'm always down to talk about Nie Mingjue tbh, he's my heart and love and if I were to have been given the opportunity to be his right hand person, I would have simply never betrayed his trust and married him. Rip Jin Guangyao but I'm different.

Anyways, I, huhhh, actually think you?? Covered it all??? Pretty much?? Yet I will talk about it. This will be long and non-coherent, because I don't have the books rn to find quotes in them and honestly, I could write essays on Nie Mingjue either way.

Nie Mingjue is a central piece of the narrative, despite the limited amount of appearances he made, and the fact that he wasn't close to the main characters at all. The entire second part of the plot revolves around him- it happened because of him. His murder is a tragedy; literally, by greek standards, man has Cassandra Curse all over him, so I don't get how people can tell me, confidently, that his death was warranted. I've been told the man had asked for it, and this has mostly been by Jin Guangyao apologists.

So let me make something real fucking clear.

Nie Mingjue did not deserve to die. Let's get that out of the way, anyone can fight me on that. Nie Mingjue had more good qualities than half the people in this fucking story, despite his flaws. After his father was brutally murdered when Mingjue was only in his teens, Nie Mingjue stepped up as clan leader. We can only speculate the hardships that await someone leading a clan at such an early age. Yet, political challenges weren't the only thing he had to battle; Nie Mingjue knew about his clan's harmful cultivation, and he knew he was going to die young. So what did he do? His best. Literally his best, always. He was always giving 100% of his abilities, because that's who he was.

Let's talk about who Nie Mingjue was, shall we?

When Jin Guangyao, still Meng Yao then, describes Nie Mingjue, he finds himself perplexed, because Nie Mingjue isn't like other men. He is not frivolous, and he has no vices; Meng Yao describes how Nie Mingjue never showed an interest in arts, or alcohol, or women. All he did was train, and fight the Wens during the war. It shows that he had a one-track mind from the start, and has got a strict discipline; yet this strictly disciplined man, leader of a clan that prizes strength, continuously indulges his lazy and undisciplined half-brother, his one and only heir, despite not understanding his interests. We gather, pretty quickly, that Nie Mingjue is a bleeding heart for his brother, and for the ones he loves in general. We see the same softer side displayed in the presence of Lan Xichen, and of course, for some time, Meng Yao.

People seem to think Nie Mingjue took Meng Yao's betrayal too harshly. As if somehow seeing a man he thought to have been just and honest commit premeditated murder, then cover it up, was something he was just supposed to get over. To this day, I can't believe how Lan Xichen was so understanding of it. But not only did Nie Mingjue catch him in a cowardly act - Meng Yao proceeds to manipulate him, using the fact that Nie Mingjue cared about him, to stab him in the back. Or front, however it happened. I get that Meng Yao was in a difficult position, that he suffered at the Jins, that he felt backed in a corner; but Nie Mingjue was a man that had extended his help to Meng Yao before, and even then, he went to find Meng Yao in righteous fury, ready to help him again. To Nie Mingjue, the idea that Meng Yao "had no other choice" but to kill - to kill in the manner he did - it could have been nothing but a betrayal.

One thing that I personally highly respected Nie Mingjue for was the fact that he did not judge Meng Yao for his background. This is not up for debate; Nie Mingjue stood up for him, quite publicly, quite vocally, when Meng Yao was being insulted over it. And not only that, but he promoted Meng Yao to be his right hand man, just like that. Because he's impulsive, and to prove a point, but it was still huge of him to do. Not even Lan Xichen would have done that - In a society built on power dynamics between social classes, Nie Mingjue was one of the few characters who did not let that define his actions. It wasn't because he was born privileged (though he was) but because he he didn't let anything other than his judgment direct his actions. Nie Mingjue also never shied away from anything; if it had to be done, he did it, no matter the cost.

Nie Mingjue was decisive, and had an iron will. When Meng Yao killed the Nie disciples in Qishan, he wanted to kill Meng Yao. Meng Yao told him, paraphrasing, that "don't you understand that if I hadn't done that, it would have been your corpse up there?" and Wei Wuxian takes it to mean "Translation: I saved you so you can't kill me, because that would mean you're in the wrong." So Nie Mingjue hesitated for a second, then said: "Fine! I'll kill you, and then take my own life!" And the only reason he didn't, was because Lan Xichen was there. Otherwise, Nie Mingjue would have killed his former friend, then followed him to whatever afterlife awaited.

Nie Mingjue is often portrayed like he doesn't understand stuff, like he's stupid, simply because of his black and white sense of morality. That's not correct: Nie Mingjue understands motive, but he doesn't accept the ends justifying the means. Scratch that, he doesn't accept or justify either, if they're unjust. The murder of the Jin commander, the murder of the Nie disciples, not executing Xue Yang - how can Nie Mingjue possibly understand Meng Yao's decisions, when Nie Mingjue would rather die, any day, than live thanks to vile actions?

And then, Nie Mingjue starts falling into qi-deviation. We know that it affected his temper the most, and his judgement. I don't understand how it works, really, so I don't know by the end how much was Nie Mingjue and how much was the mess that the spirit made of him - maybe a combination of the two. But what is certain, is that the rapid qi deviation changed him.

But I could write a hundred more pages on him, meticulously going over every single scene he has ever appeared in, because I find him that interesting. I find him the most interesting, and the most appealing character, because in a story where the navigation of the cultivation world's complex politics and hierarchies with tact and diplomacy is crucial, Nie Mingjue stands uncompromising in his principles, choosing duty and honor over anything else, even when it's hard.

#the untamed #mdzs #cql #mo dao zu shi #nie mingjue #nie mingjue had his flaws #and he had his virtues #i will not allow slander on his name #when he always did what he thought was best and just and good #when he was loving and kind and hot-headed but he was also just in his early 20s with the weight of the world on his shoulders #cold absolutely freezing day in hell when i'm over him

[doyouevenshipbr0]

i just finished live action avatar the last airbender. buckle up. obv spoilers incoming.

~

honestly just gonna list the good and the bad and give a number rating at the end. this will be long. also THIS IS JUST MY OPINION!!!! nothing i say is right or wrong. dont hurt me.

the good

sokka (ik this is controversial bc of his actor okokokok im js purely from a performance standpoint he ate)

zuko (absolutely devoured)

fight scenes!!!! obv not as good as the animated (we knew this) but i still enjoyed

zhao!!!!!! do not sleep on him he killed this!!

KIYOSHI!!! ARE U KIDDINGGG

overall loved the focus on avatars other than roku

suki/suki and sokka

attack on the air nomads… ik it was unnecessary and a little hard to watch but still was v interesting

azulaaaaa and the fact that we see her this season. LOVE this addition. also the way they added her was veryyyyy well done. didnt feel forced.

bumi/how they handled the bumi arc in general. some parts i actually like better than the og. like how aang knew he was bumi right away. makes way more sense to me.

sokka and katara has some very sweet and genuine moments

aang and gyatso reunion awwww

omg. the “twist” with the 41st division that zuko accidentally saved becoming his crew. the bestttttt change that they made. i loved this. something so small but felt SO impactful.

yue/sokka and yue. this is a BIG one bc i think the original show really lacks with how they wrote yue and especially her relationship with sokka. i think it was a lot better here.

when zhao admits at the end he was working w azula and that ozai was just using zuko to motivate azula. omg. that was such a cool thing they added

and now. the bad.

aang. JDHSKSJDJ SORRYYYY dont care! he got better as the show went on. overall acting wasnt great and the writing for him definitely did not help

katara OOPSIES HEHEHE sorry but again same thing. kind of a dull performance. where is her PASSION?!?! wanted to like her so bad bc katara is my girl and this girl was giving katara on paper but the performance was just kinda bleh. didnt hate but DEFINITELY did not love.

costumes. dying on this hill i do not care. it was giving spirit of halloween. and some of these wigs…. yue’s wig? azula’s fuck ass pieces hanging out? HOW MAI AND TY LEE LOOKED IN GENERAL?! ouch

^in general mai and ty lee did not need to be here at ALLLLL. def shouldve waited till s2 for their appearances.

where is the silliness? where is the humor? hardly tried to embody the fun spirit of the original and when it did it failed miserably.

gran gran saying the thing. that’s katara’s thing.

too much exposition dumping.

first ep was by far the worst imo. how sokka and katara came across/met aang? WOW what a let down holy shit.

they should’ve kept it as aang running away from the southern air temple. not that he went for a late night drive with appa. dont care that this is a small thing. it is a HUGE part of aang’s character.

idk how to word this one and i think ppl would disagree anyways. but they are making iroh too obviously “good”. ykw i mean? when we first meet him, we know he’s not like the rest of the fire nation but we still don’t truly know where his morals lie. this show made it too obvious too soon.

why did katara never train w pakku?? that makes 0 sense. i understand she was mostly self taught throughout s1. but the whole thing was that: yes, katara was good before pakku, but when she finally did get a master, she became EXPONENTIALLY better and really came into her own. i am not buying that she becomes the master katara we know and love without learning from pakku. so unrealistic. when zuko says “u found a master” and she said “yes ur looking at her”. oh girlboss feminism u are going to HELL!

would like to take a moment to say^^^ i am a feminist ok. do nottttt get it twisted. but girlboss feminism is brainrot.

aang. did not bend. a single drop of water. are u fucking KIDDING ME? that was nuts.

really felt like if u did not watch the original series, this show would feel SO all over the place and u would have so many “wtf is happening” moments. the whole omashu shit was kind offfffff a mess. i see where they were going and why they were doing that but in hindsight after the fact i was like… if i knew nothing ab this show that would have been the most confusing clusterfuck.

and i think my biggest/most general complaint that i already talked about that i will briefly touch on: trying to do too much. why are we putting in characters and plot points that do not come till seasons 2-3 and are completely unnecessary now (secret tunnel, wan shi tong, swamp-kinda episode, etc.)

final thoughts?

it was enjoyable. i cannot deny that. landscapes were gorgeous. fights were well choreographed and looked GOOD. some changes were genuinely made for the better, and even changes that i do not necessarily think were better, i could respect the creativity of some changes and understood why they were there. but overall, as most live action remakes go, this was a flat portrayal of one of the greatest pieces of fiction of all time that suffered from some overly ambitious ideas and dull writing with little to no sense of whimsy. while some performances exceeded expectations, others that were crucial to the integrity of this show really disappointed me.

overall: 6.6/10. this number is completely subject to change.

#personal #atla #avatar the last airbender #live action atla #atla live action #live action avatar #live action avatar the last airbender #avatar live action #avatar the last airbender live action

[ousama]

i’m going to try and argue in good faith here but i’m just not sure why you’re touting utena as a show that’s so entrenched in sexualization of its characters when it goes to avid lengths to skirt around displaying sexual topics in a way that is exploitative. TW for mentions of CP

if you’re uncomfortable with ikuhara’s other works - yuri kuma arashi specifically, then that’s valid and fine. i still think talking about it as “softcore porn” is a reductive way of speaking about it, and doesn’t acknowledge the work and what it was trying to say, but much of my criticisms of that particular show (and other ikuhara works) rest upon the same discomfort and i find a lot of it gratuitous.

but that doesn’t explain how rgu as a work is informed by those same missteps, especially when it precedes YKA. there is deliberate emphasis on anything sexual being an act of violence (that is not gratuitously portrayed) perpetrated through abuse and manipulation. nearly all of the sexual content of this nature is told through metaphor. only a few times is the audience ever exposed to it directly, and this event is never sexualized in any way shape or form.

so i’m not sure where you’re getting this “sexualization of minors” thing from in a show where the entirety of its identity is how young people are coerced into gender roles, often through cyclical sexual violence. when its climax and resolution are its sexually abused girls finding solidarity, comfort and unconditional love in one another. i’m deadass trying to figure in what instance a character is sexualized in this show, and where this happens repeatedly.

if its a matter of ikuhara just being a weirdo to you, then fine, because i do think authorial intent and input matters to an extent (even though he was really just a fraction of RGU’s production). do we scorn sailor moon then, along the same lines, even though you could also view the show and not see explicit sexualization of its minor characters?

how do you argue RGU is a show sexualizing its characters because of its creator, but FMA, an anime that wears its political themes on its sleeve, is somehow uncorrupted by the racism of its author? you like one piece, and that has repeated problems with sexualization and sexual harassment committed by one of its protagonists, that has an author that works closely with and venerates a man that owned so much child porn he was thought to be a distributor at some point?

so what makes RGU so uniquely terrible compared to these other works? i think there are criticisms that can be levied its way, and that goes doubly for the movie, but i think arguing its “sexualizing minors” and is therefore an unimportant piece of art is just bad faith and reeks of you having never actually watched or more importantly understood it. and i hope you can see how incredibly frustrating that is to people who have seen themselves so fully in it to have it reduced to something its not simply because you presumably didn’t bother to engage with it’s actual themes and messages.

im not reading all that why are you people so obsessed with my opinion on an anime poll. get a life. the constant harassing of a real life lesbian over its thoughts on a cartoon lesbian show really is not a hill worth dying on. what does literally any of this have to do with me, a single person mind you, saying i prefer one show over the other

[fayesdiary]

oh hmm, your favorite things from Awakening, Fates, and Echoes for the reverse unpopular opinion ask game

Since it's the whole 3DS trilogy I'm gonna keep things brief for each game (but also, first unpopular opinion is that this is my favorite era of FE):

Awakening

Inject the power of friendship directly into my veins. Especially now that the world is going to shit more than ever and I'm struggling with isolation, I hold this silly game about a band of loveable doofuses saving the world and the future from total oblivion dear more than ever.

i mean my favorite videogame series is kingdom hearts for crying out loud, of course I love this game

The characters and themes are great, the music is amazing, Grima is a wonderful villain even if mostly thanks to outside material, and also I know it's a meme, but it's the game that saved the franchise.

This series went from almost dying with a whimper to being reborn with a bang and becoming one of Nintendo's most successful franchises. This game literally defied fate in real life!

Fates

There's something about the world of Fates that drew me in ever since I've heard of it, but I'm not sure exactly what it is. It just feels more... mystical compared to the other worlds of the series, and the locations are some of the most visually stunning and unique we've ever got! Kinda makes me wish we could actually explore them, or at least have a way to see them better.

The royal families are some of the most endearing characters of the whole series- which is good because these are stories are really more personal compared to the rest, and all of Fates would fall flat if you didn't care about them. even if im personally more hoshidan filth tho

And really, the main conflict of the Branch of Fate is much better than the one they marketed, because it's: Do you do the right thing but betray those who loved and raised you, or do you stick with your family even if it means being forced to do reprehensible actions?

Conquest is especially good at this, you see Corrin basically go through the five stages of grief in their resolve to amend for their not-so-good choice.

Revelation is a great catharsis factor since you finally see both Hoshido and Nohr get their shit together and most of the supports there are wonderful, and Heirs of Fate is the best DLC story of all of FE and a wonderful bookend to all of Fates I will die on that hill

Echoes

What can I say about this funny little game I haven't already say a billion times?

First of all, it's my favorite FE and one of my favorite games in general.

Amazing presentation, music and VA, my fav cast of characters, you know the whole deal by now.

But I also love the game's themes and its commitment to duality, and its villains are great and I love that none of them are evil just for the heck of it! Well, except Slayde, but I love that bastard for that exact reason.

Nowadays I both hate and ironically love Rudolf, think Jedah is a more interesting villain that people give him credit for since his motives aren't just for power, or revenge or selfish reason, but rather he believes Duma must reign supreme even if he's completely degenerated because at least mankind would have a chance at survival unlike if he was gone, making him a great foil for Celica.

Also this game is great for Ironmans not for the gameplay, but because it will make you feel like a monster if you let someone die

#fire emblem #fire emblem awakening #fire emblem fates #fire emblem echoes #fire emblem echoes shadows of valentia #fe13 #fe14 #fe15 #ask replies #loregoddess #my rambles

[agirldying]

digesting early childhood trauma pt. 3

another facet of my childhood i often overlook is my parents. this one's a little long because there's a lot of tea about my dad and i haven't really thought about this before.

lets start with my dad - when i was younger we used to be much closer and we'd play games and have fun together, i used to sit inside a tote bag and he would swing it in the air from side to side and i would scream and laugh, i remember he'd spin me around in the pool and stuff. but every time i cried it would set him off. he would accuse me of "making a scene" and would yell me to stop crying.

i have always been absolutely 100% horrible at doing math so my dad would sit down in the dining room and do math homework with me. but i got wrong answers all the time and he was very impatient and would shout "No!" like the answer was so obvious and i was avoiding it on purpose or something. it made me feel even more insecure about math and every time i guessed my answer i would say it very timidly in fear of being yelled at. especially if i kept getting the answer wrong, i'm pretty sure he would just get up and walk away if not just scoff at me. i really feel like this experience made it really hard for me to even attempt to do my homework at home, so i got used to doing it all at school if not in my bedroom, and at this point i pretty much do all of my homework in my room.

my dad is also very opinionated and stubborn, so as i grew up and entered teenhood, him and i butted heads a lot and got into arguments and even screaming matches at times. i remember one time, not sure how old i was but imma guess i was maybe 11 or 12? i also don't remember what led up to it but all i remember is being in the living room with my dad and he was all up in my face yelling at me, and i decided to put my foot down and yell back, at which point he threatened to throw my phone in the garbage so i stopped.

then when i was about 16 or so we only got into more arguments as our political views drifted farther apart (he's a republican im pretty sure? thankfully not a trumpie though). one time a family friend made a facebook post making fun of emotional support animals on flights where a guy pulled up with sort of like a rolling bar of alcohol and was like "this is my emotional support bar" or some shit. so i commented and was like "wtf is this ableist shit" and then she was like "omg how dare you swear at me on my own facebook post i'm contacting your father right now" so i was like oh great. soon enough my dad storms in and yells at me about how you can forge a doctor's note to allow an ESA on the flight and how people bring peacocks and pigs on the flight and how that one girl flushed her hamster down the toilet at the airport or something and was overall just trying to say that emotional support animals are just a euphemism for pets you want to bring with you everywhere. and at that point i knew that there's no arguing with my dad so i just sat there quietly until he started repeating his points so i said "you said that already" and then he mimicked me and said it back to me and then stormed out.

he also used to say a ton of fucked up shit to us at dinner like how he believed transgender people were no different than transracial people or whatever and that black people in hoodies should realize they're suspicious and that he as a musician reserves the right to refuse to perform at gay weddings because watching them kiss makes him uncomfortable or whatever his stupid reason was. also after one of my friends died by suicide he tried reassuring me by saying she was going to die that way regardless. so him spouting all this stupid stuff really deeply strained our relationship but i never said that outright because i figured he was dying on those hills.

at one point i told my therapist about how i'm not close with my dad and don't even care about that and she scheduled a session to mediate between my dad and i. basically it was good in that she allowed us to take turns talking without interrupting each other but the whole point was to be closer and do more things together after the session but that quickly fell through.

so because of all this my dad and i are really not close at all, in fact his perception of me seems to be from when i was 13, even though i'm 22 now. like he thinks that my autism is like a personality trait to me and that my only interest/skill is with technology. and while he now also knows i'm a poet because my parents attended my publication party, that's still virtually all he knows about me and i'm honestly happy with that. i don't really feel like he deserves to really know me after how he treated me growing up.

that being said my dad has changed a lot since and while he still has a lot of bigoted and far-right opinions on shit he's much more considerate especially since i came out as trans (even though he sent me a letter back saying he basically rejected that idea but would call me a nickname of my birthname instead of my birthname). i think he understands that i'm an adult now so i'm going to disagree with him and he's just going to have to accept that.

i also will mention that because he struggled with money growing up, he financially supports me to the point that i haven't worked more than a month in my life. i have an allowance of $60/week and it's livable for me because i don't ask for much, i'm not materialistic really at all, and anything school or food-related is reimbursed, generally speaking. i am privileged to live like that but the con is that i have an extremely poor work ethic and i have a hard time understanding the true worth of money when it's given to me for free. it's hard to even want to break the cycle and get a job knowing i get the equivalent of a paycheck from doing nothing. it makes me feel ill-adapted to the responsibilities of adulthood and it seems like my parents didn't expect that. i know they just want me to not have to worry about having enough money but i honestly wish they gave me less.

#text #vent #trauma #childhood trauma #verbal abuse #parental trauma #ableism #transphobia #homophobia #racism #emotional support animal #trauma vent #tw #digesting early childhood trauma

[96percentdone]

7, 12, 17, 23,

you didn't give me any fandom either so it's vibes only babeyy!!

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

This is actually pretty difficult to answer because I am always a hater about canon and usually I find if I turned into a character hater after being exposed to fandom it's because seeing the way fandom talked about them disconnected so heavily from my experience with them i went back and found all the reasons I actually hate this character and find everyone else's hot takes fucking insufferable and i need the fandom to shut the fuck up about them forever.

That said, while I think hate is far too strong a word in this case, I am pretty salty about the veneration of Rena as like the ultimate higurashi character better than all the rest. Higu fandom's blatant favoritism for her will always get on my nerves, because Rena is a wonderful character and a delight, but you guys are so fucking annoying about it. Really I don't hate her though I just hate higurashi fandom kjnhbgfcxdfcgvhbj

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

I think you guys should read my post about Tearer AINI! My favorite cringefail murder guy! He's fucking pathetic and tragic! He has severe mommy issues! You should read my post! All he does is kill people, post vaporwave, and dress like a clown! And I love him! You guys don't understand, I love Somezuki Uru so much--/gets shot.

Uh but besides him, but still AITSF is definitely Okiura Renju, a guy everyone hates and I wrote a post about that, but he's definitely my guy. King of haunting the narrative. I love gay people who suck. I love men who are plagued by their mistakes struggling to live in a world they cannot confess their all their secrets to relieve their pain. I love men who are trying, and not always doing their best at it, but definitely trying to care for and connect with others and find some shred of happiness, and it haunts me that he was killed before he could ever fully get there.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

I really wish AA fandom had more art for investigations 2, because I2 fucking rules so hard man. I2 is the best one! I will die on this hill! I NEED MORE ART AND FIC OF JUSTINEEEE!!! WHERE IS MY FUCKING WIFE!!!! AND MY SON BOY, SEBASTIAN!!!!! Y'all really have no excuses I get that I2 doesn't have the homoerotic shit you guys come to AA for, but the thing is. It has all the family shit that makes ace attorney wonderful and magical and beautiful. Also Lang is there. Where is my Lang content. Where is my Mr. Shields content. Where is my evil clown--I mean Simon Keyes content. All the good shit you could ever want is in Investigations 2 go fucking play investigations 2 right now and PLEASE USE THEM FOR STUFF. MAKE STUFF FOR THEM. THEY ARE SO GOOD. THEY ARE SO UNDER-LOVED IN THIS FANDOM. IM DYING SCOOB.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

No idea. I feel like broadly speaking if I hate a ship I stay a ship hater and I never like it. Or if I come around to something my opinions just weren't that strong in the first place. That said I have deeply deeply begrudgingly accepted like oumota into my soul. But like in extremely specific contexts and circumstances. Me from 5 years ago would literally shoot me dead if they read that.

#hope.txt

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :) #sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become' #bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

[carinyms]

I've scrolled through a lot of discourse on episode 4 of Loki and I need to talk about it

(good lord its a whole essay im sorry)

I gave myself a headache from crying while watching this. (I joined the Loki fandom post-IW so I’ve never had to see him die before while emotionally invested and boy!!! Is it doing things to my fragile psyche!!). But now I’m rehydrated and more stable and ready to party so let’s go

Right off the bat, I loved this episode — loved it loved it loved it. Silly, manic in-shock Loki is gone and shit is getting real. My thought while watching this was truly “wow this is my favorite episode so far” and damn am I in a minority with this opinion lol.

So here’s my perspective on some of the discourse flying around, and just general thoughts

On the whole ‘Narcissist’ thing:

IMO, Mobius saying this means nothing: he’s mad and he’s spouted lies at Loki to push his buttons before (see: every interaction they’ve had since episode 1).

Loki saying this to Sif-- well, Loki is and always has been an unreliable narrator on himself. The major theme of this show is that he doesn’t really know who he is, deep down, and he’s trying to figure it out. The TVA is taking advantage of this, and even though he’s trying to stay above it all throughout the series, he's still in a really impressionable spot and absorbing what others tell him about himself. (not to mention this scene is literal torture and he’s already proven that he’ll say whatever he needs to to get out of it.)

But he does admit one true thing when he says “It’s because I’m scared of being alone.” (And like wow okay same don’t mind my tears) but here’s a big brain idea!

Sif pulls him up and says ‘You are alone, and you always will be’, which is like, WOW that’s cruel after what he said, but it makes me ask wonder: Sif is sentient in this scene, but obviously it’s not really her. Who’s controlling her? And why is it so important for them to make sure Loki thinks he’s alone? I’d go as far as to wager that Sif never even said this to Loki, the big bad made this up. (he admits he forgot about this ever happening, I doubt he’d remember what she said.)

I think the nexus event on Lamentis that caused the branch was two Loki’s joining sides. Or, Loki no longer being alone. Loki insists while talking to Mobius that “she’s not my partner!” but she was, and they were partners from the moment they grabbed hands on Lamentis — right when the timeline broke off. I think Loki variants teaming up is the biggest threat to whoever is pulling the strings here — that’s why the post-credit scene is so significant. (Is Loki the only person who has multiple variants of himself who've escaped the TVA?)

And here’s where I’m gonna get salty--so I apologize but i need to rant about this-- but it’s seriously pissing me off that so many people are intentionally reading this as Loki/Sylvie and then being mad about it when that’s clearly not what’s happening and why is everyone acting like Mobius with one angry jealous brain cell and no critical thinking about the context of the characters.

If people ship it that’s chill, but for the people who are against it—it’s clearly supposed to be platonic, and it’s so upsetting that in the year of our lord 2021 we still can’t have a man and woman hold hands without people saying it’s proof they want to f*ck each other, like what in the misogyny??? STOP. This show was written by a bi woman and Tom the-most-emotionally-sensitive-man-on-this-planet Hiddleston — let them display an intimate loving friendship goddammit. This isn’t romance, this is Loki learning how to admit he cares for someone who cares for him in return — something he hasn’t experienced a whole lot of and clearly doesn’t know how to navigate.

(You have permission to personally come at me if it actually turns out to be romantic by the end of the show—but as of right now I will die on this hill.)

Him putting his hands on her shoulders to me was a clear indication he wanted to hug her, and I’d like to think he would have told her he cares about her, and that they can figure it out together. Because these are two characters who’ve never had anyone else to rely on and trust, and for the first time they’re not alone.

And I have to think about what prompted this from Loki. He just lost Mobius the moment after he called him friend. The way I see it, he’s just realized the true gravity of what they’re up against, and Loki is suddenly very afraid of losing Sylvie too before he tells her cares about her, of dying truly alone because he never told anyone what they meant to him. (Don’t think about this in the context of him also having watched his entire family die knowing he never told Frigga or Thor how much he loved them either don’t think about it—) He’s realized, finally, that he has doesn’t have to be alone, that he can choose to be close to people and have friends. And god it’s so heartbreaking that he never got to hug her or have that moment with her. I really hope they get that in the end. I hope he gets it with Mobius. I hope they have a group hug. I'm upset again.

Okay, deep breath, ANYWAY.

Hopefully this didn’t come off as attacking anyone else’s opinions.

Personally, I love this character so much, I’m just so happy to be seeing him in his own storyline that they can’t go wrong here. Objectively I think the production is amazing, and personally I love they way Loki’s character has been explored so far. (Yea yea, was I HOPING that the bad-memory loop would morph into Sanctuary and Thanos and like a full exploration of his true worst memories? Yes but let’s be honest my whump needs will never be met in canon and I have to accept that lol.)

Honestly I left all my own meta about this character at the door when the series started, because for me the opinions I’ve formed from the hundreds of (amazing) fics and meta I’ve read on this character and what’s true in canon are basically inseparable at this point, and no portrayal is going to live up to the way Loki exists in my head. Canon Loki and fic Loki are two different characters and I can enjoy both at the same time :) I’ve just loved seeing the character get given the different dimensions he deserves, and written by people who care about his story.

Also, it’s not over! If he was dead and this was it I’d be very upset, but this is the rock bottom of the storyline, and I think the whole next two episodes will be the build back up. I trust it’s gonna be worth it. SO hyped for flaming sword Loki. I would die for Sylvie, but I’m excited to see him on his own again.

My current most pressing questions are:

-what was the fallout of Sylvie’s bombing the timeline? (Have we seen that yet, am I just dumb and missing something?)

-Obviously, who’s behind it all? (Kang? Is there a head honcho Very Evil Loki at the top?)

-How much does Ravonna actually know, and to what extent is she just a pawn too? She asked Sylvie to prune her— she’s probably also been duped here.

-Is everything we learned about the sacred timeline BS? How much of what the TVA workers believe is real?

-my favorite theory so far is that the war of the timelines miss minutes talks about hasn’t actually happened yet, maybe making setting that into motion is the true endgame, leading into Multiverse of Madness?

(Side note: holy HELL im so excited for this soundtrack to drop on Spotify. It’s SO AMAZING I had CHILLS in the end credits.)

Open invitation to discuss anything with me if you feel inclined! :)

#if you read all of this please come say hi and be my friend because I don't know if even I'd read all this lol #loki #loki show #loki series #loki show spoilers #loki spoilers #loki series spoilers #loki show discourse #loki show positive #my disaster son has a show

[niks-minion]

crack request of me right now but... is it bad that i kinda want this top three + deku teamup to fail 😭😭 or at least not go to plan.

like look, i get why the other kids got left behind, since they're neither deku the mc with the op power nor the top heroes with sometimes decades more experience, and the way horikoshi has been scaling their powers it's usually only deku who gets to have the bamf explosion of power moments outside of training (the other kids do help out for sure, but usually it involves careful planning like the put gigantomachia to sleep thing, and generally they're not allowed huge displays of power, so that makes u feel like they can't keep up with deku) but like... it rubs me the wrong way. what we're doing now is grooming deku to be the sole pillar (a concept proven shitty and unstable) while the other kids aren't granted the chance to have all might or whoever pay extra special attention to them. like all might sucks as a teacher tbh. even in 284 he has the other kids take time from their own training regiments to help deku instead of like... making up an exercise that benefits the whole class and deku. he left behind 39+ kids who looked up to him and needed guidance (basically implying they're not worth his time, are not gonna be able to make a difference) at a time when the world around them is falling apart.

and like... i get it, deku is the mc, he's gonna get special attention, he's gonna get the cool powers and the bonus training or whatever. im absolutely not mad about that. i'm also not expecting all the kids to get equal relevance or whatever. you could argue that we've got no time to waste on training the other kids and their feelings. but i can't help but be a bit frustrated that horikoshi created so many cool characters with so much potential only to have it seem like they'll end up sidelined. like it feels atp like the tertiary protagonist is endeavor not shouto.

and ig what im asking for is the other kids rising to the occasion. even if they don't have guidance from the symbol of peace or full support from the top three heroes, even if they don't have the generations passed down power, even if they're not the chosed one, even if they're left out of plans and treated like they're secondary, id like to see them defy expectations. I'd like to see a scenario where the old heroes won't cut it and where the kids take charge to bring about some genuine change in both the world and the hero system. i want to see a scenario where the current plan fails and they need to be bailed out by the kids (+everyone else). i'd like to see the other kids grow out of both a desire to be great heroes and spite lmaoo

like i know this is probably irrational wish fulfillment on my end, and im not a writer so this probably wouldn't make for a cool story to anyone but me, but damn do i want it and damn do i miss the kids.

Ok. Hello my dear anon. Now that’s a long ask.

Ok. Warning. My opinion may be a bit biased, and also more focused on the origin trio than the whole class, bc let’s be honest it was obvious from the start there the main focus would be.

1. Let’s start with the fact that I’m not a Deku hater. Yes I make jokes, yes the sole focus on him makes me bitter bc we all have our favorites and want them to shine, yes I’m dying to see tdbk team up, bite me. That doesn’t mean that me, you or any other person wishing to get smth more is a “die Deku die!” enthusiast.

2. Your opinion is valid and understandable. Honestly, I get it. More so I think that’s gonna be the case bc come on, you can’t tell me that this dream team is gonna just kick a couple of asses, scream “plus ultra” and restore the whole country back to normal. I call bullshit. I’ve heard the guess that it may be a mirror to Katsuki’s kidnapping during the forest arc. (Would be cool bc the whole class could come to the picture and save him, plus Deku realizing he’s not alone etc etc)

3. About Deku being op and others being in his shadow.

Well, yep, as you’ve said- our broccoli boy is the mc, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

But taking jjk for example I don’t feel bitter about Megumi. And in Haikyuu I didn’t feel bitter literally about any character, especially Kageyama, god damn it’s the most satisfying shonen manga for those who has “I usually like mc’s bff/rival more” mindset. (it’s me)

That’s why I’m gonna die in the hill of denial that in bnha at least Bakugou and Todo are not gonna end up eating dirt and be satisfied with the average place somewhere behind Izuku.

Welcome to my praying circle, let’s sit and drink cola/wine while waiting for tumblr to go mad with the frames of other class 1A ( 2a now) kids. Plus Shinsou. Plus shiketsu kids, why the fuck Inasa wasn’t at the war arc, wind throwing villains here and there?!

4. The most irritating thing for me is this.

And this

Again, I totally get it. They need to protect ofa. What’s the better place for it than being sandwiched between top to heroes. And yes you can say the others are just kids and dealing with real life threats is too early for them. Deku simply has no choice. I’m ok with it.

But holy shit, was I disappointed to witness this exact frame...Yeah, yeah, call me Shouto simp, whatever man. But the build up, the “here is my hand, let’s fight together”... it’s only natural for me to to wish Todo was there too. I’m craving for Shouto/Hawks/Enji team up.

About Deku’s arms. Excuse me, but... it had so great drama potential. That he injured his arms and for now is unable to use them to the full capacity or something. I’m a sucker for a good angst so🤷🏻‍♀️ but then it was solved just like that? Ok, what did stop you to order these gauntlets like half a year ago, ha?

Welp, It’s for the reason that our duo is out of the picture. Suspiciously so.

Let’s wait a bit and hope for the best.

#niks bnha ask #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #manga spoilers #todoroki shouto #katsuki bakugou #kacchan #bnha 309 #mha 309 #bnha ask #bnha speculation #mha speculation #bnha thoughts #izuku midoriya

[twinvictim]

your opinions on each of the post team silent games and a rating out of 10. hand 'em over

YEAHHHHHH FINALLY CATERING TO ME!!!

Uh really long post oops. for reference, my rating for the first 4 sh's are as follows

Sh1: 9/10 Sh2: 7/10 Sh3: 9/10 Sh4: 9.5/10

Silent Hill 0/Origins

overall score: 7/10

Alot of the games issues can of course be attributed to it being a psp game, and while i won't excuse everything bc of that, j have to be honest and say I think it had so much potential as a (very) late ps2 game. Not to mention, the game ON THE PSP functions as it should. (The ps2 port does fucking not tho..oops) ans you'll see that this is...a rarity post team silent.

The story has alot of potential, Travis as a character is interesting and sympathetic and j think his dynamic with alessa js super fascinating to dig into, both of them being abused children and there was alot of intrigue regarding his powers, the game feels like a smaller more watered down she, and for that I can't fault it too much. The weapons system isn't my favorite but the combat itself is reminiscent of 1 and 2 and I really like a good chunk of the monster design, there was clearly thought and care put into it, nurses and strughtjackets/lying figures be dammed. The unlockables are pretty cool though and alot of the environments look pretty cool for a psp game, hell i LOVE the theater level its super unique, I would love to see it in (actually functional) better graphics. I also think the puzzles are pretty solid, not hair pulling like sh1 even if they're not quite as clever as say sh3.

My biggest criticisms come from the reuse of sh1 characters (just alessa and Travis would've been fine, maybe dahlia and some more org characters would've been better) the bad ending being straight up bad writing. Not to mention they did the sh3 thing of "kill too many monsters and get the bad ending" which is...stupid. The foreshadowing of the butcher being? He's just kinda there, I like the lead up but it would be more interesting if the butcher represented something from those years between Travis' father dying and him being an adult. And while there's more replayability imo than sh2, it doesn't have difficulty sliders and that makes it kinda hard to come back to quite as often. Not to mention unlike sh1, 3or sh4 there's not as much horror focus and random events.

Overall, solid game its fun to play, very silent Hill and if you're willing to look past a few continuity errors and accept its a little different and slightly derrivitive at the same time, I like to say I had alot of fun with it and still do. (Maybe I just like Travis alot...idk)

Silent Hill: Homecoming

Overall score: 6/10

Once again most of the issues here are gonna be corporate fuck ups, but I'm also not gonna beat around the bush, this game isn't like...good. its bad actually. "But you gave it a 6/10?" Yeah bc its not NEARLY as bad as some other games I've.. experienced.

The negatives here are, many and vast, so let's run them down. Firstly the games performance is janky on console (ps3 at least) and abysmal/unplayable on PC, what with framerate issues that are detrimental to game play on pc and make the third boss impossible. That said on console it is completable and not even too terrible...usually. Scarletts boss fight however is terribly unbalanced and broken on all skews so :/. The combat is...functional but not anyone's favorite, it's difficult to use any actually strong weapon and you can pretty much strong arm ur ways through shit with just the knife (except scarletts first form..don't try it, it won't work) for some people this will be borening (not my opinion but w/e). Most of The puzzles...leave alot to be desired. I hate sliding block puzzles. Also no run button? At all?? No easy mode? Ok... also what is this.. wheel design for the inventory...im accidentally using my serum..what is serum also? And why is the item pickup noise like...bass boosted.

The character models look awful most of the time, and comically unfinished other times, some human models are just grotesque, (judge halloway, Adam shepherd, mayor Bartlett. .you get it) and yes...there are sexy nurses. Bc of course there are. (Whole ass out???) They did straight up have some terrible endings for this game (ph ending for one, the way you get the ufo? Hell the ufo ending is kinda boring. I like the in water ending here too but. Yeah.) the story has some, problems. To say the least.

However, while the performance is bad its not the worst I've played (on the ps3 once again..unplayable on pc) and I hardly noticed the framerate when I was just running around, I personally found the combat kinda fun, between trying to dodge accurately and still attack and not use all my health items (bc those and ammo are actually rare! Unlike some games...) it is kind of a challenge and reminds me of a much worse sh4. And hey, the health items both heal an understandable amount of health that i can easily read with a bar (unlike 1-3) and they're not a complete joke (unlike sh4...) i find the exploration really fun and sure the characters look shit but the environments are Fucking great. The church is one of my fav sections, short as jt might be and yes it stole the confessional scene but its pretty well written and acted I think. The monster design is pretty fucking rad too honestly, I like the schism, siam, I like the DESIGN of the needlers even if they make me so mad to fight, and hey the nurses and ph don't show up that much to be too aggregious. The boss monsters are also fantastic design wise, very unsettling and the boss rooms are interesting as well.

The story has problems but it also has alot of potential, the concept of people sacrificing ther children for silent Hill and being overcome by their own pain and guilt is pretty fucking cool, and alex is a good character they did a good job of giving him personality, ppl bitch about him being a soldier but a) he's not and b) soldiers are people too, and a sh game that could tackle toxic masculinity, be critical of the military, and also tackle abusive religeious parents is pretty intriguing, not to mentions themes of brotherly love that's complicated bc of how they clearly favored Josh . Sure, it misses the mark, but I like taking the potential and thinking about it bc its compelling to me. And like I said, i like alex alot.

Overall, bad game yes, but not the worst as it has enough good for me to honestly really enjoy it, besides it is pretty funny when it is bad. Don't play the pc port tho

Silent Hill Shattered Memories

Overall Score: 8/10

Unpopular opinion im sure but honestly? I find this game ALMOST on par with the team silent games. Its really that good, yes its a wii game, so this is my score taking into account the motion controls BTW.

For the good, man where do i start. Its BEAUTIFUL for a wii game and esp for a post team silent game, the graphics are nice and Constsitent, the environments are pretty and it has a pretty nice cold color pallet to contrast the warmer tones the series tends to skew towards. The acting and intrgrige are all on point and the WRITING is fantastic, its one of those games you play the first time not knowing the twist and play the second time picking up more and more clues and things that strengthen that twist so much more. Like sh2 its a simple story told in such a clever and interesting way that you'll probably be too invested to put it down, I beat it in one sitting in 6 hours bc i was so engrossed in the narrative. And the Puzzles man! The puzzles are phenomenal and fun to accomplish and there's even a little bit of variety in a few places on repeat playthroughs. The level of detail in this game is insane really, the things that change with the different psychology answers are pretty cool too and tho it all plays out relatively the same its still fun to see the different things you can get to happen. The gimmicks like the phone as an object, taking pictures, sneaking and zooming in, they're not too intrusive as to take away from the exploration or other game play but not completely useless and have some pretty fun Easter eggs too. The game plays sort of like a worse outlast with good puzzles and for that I do have to commend it. Oh and the fucking MUSIC is INCREDIBLE idk something ab this soundtrack has alot of heart put into it clearly.

Now, it's not perfect. The thing is, it is a WORSE outlast type game, in the running and hiding sense but well, the hiding is completely useless, its a run away game, which is ok, but I understand that people aren't gonna be a big fan of that when silent Hill has always balanced combat ad puzzles and exploration. The running segments are..aggravating, mostly bc its hard to figure out where to go, not to mention using motion controls that don't like to work half the time to fight the monsters off of you. Also, the monsters are not scarey in the slightest and the raw shock scream is actually enragaging if you've died one to many times, there's also...not really any penalty for dying. And once you're out for these running segments,there's no danger, no monsters, nothing to hide from despite having a hiding mechanic. Its not really a horror game more of a psycological thriller and I understand that the fact that its not horror can be disappointing. The psychology things might be a bit overhyped And yeah fine, the wii foreplay scene...well yeah its weird but it IS also funny as fuck.

That said, there's still alot thats good and alot thas unfair criticism lobbed at this game. Harry didn't have much of a personality in sh1 bc he's a ps1 character and sm really fleshed him out well, not to mention giving cybil some nice characterization, and they did some interesting things with dahlia and kaufmann. And Lisa.. well I'm gonna be honest I never found Lisa all that interesting in sh1..so it doesn't bother me that she's the way she is in this game. I know people hate the "horny" aspect of it but to be completely fair, YOU choose to make the game that way, don't answer in a sexual manner or look at boobs or anything else and you won't have an overly sexual game, its...literally that easy. Its given as an option for the play id they want to go for what is arguably another joke ending. (You cannot tell me sleeze and sirens is meant to be a real serious ending to the game. Cmon) and you can complain about the innacuuracies if you want but its a spin off, a retelling of the original game. Its not canon, and it didn't change the original game. It just took the ideas presented there and made them more human and lest fantastical, there's some supernatural elements but it takes a backseat to the human moments. And its honestly really cool.

Overall, great game, i reccomend it if you don't mind some slight jank with the motion controls and honestly? Look up directions on where to go for the running segments and you'll have a pretty good time overall.

Silent Hill Downpour

Overall score (so far): 7.5/10 *to be noted i haven't finished actually playing it yet but I know the basic plot and some of the details so I doubt it'll change

And so for the final silent Hill Game, I have to say, i don't think it deserves NEARLY the hatred it gets, there's alot about it that i find really cool and even fun and I think its a solid entry, a little better than origins in some parts and its downsides are both unfortunate and once again, mostly Konami's fault . That said, I'm also not gonna kid and say its a good game, just that I like it alot and we should be nicer to the last silent Hill game were probably ever gonna get.

Downpour has a pretty good, original story overall, there's alot to it, alot of intricacies and intrigue to it that honestly make it a pretty sold silent Hill game. Its different enough from the others to stand out but not super far removed from its themes and messages. I like that it doesn't try and lean into the cult aspect and tries to do something else with it, it doesn't try to explain silent Hill, but just use it to torment the characters, as it should be. There's tragedy ad human feelings here and some of them aren't the most...sensitive but they are pretty reasonable reactions id say. Playing as someone who's odds are stacked against him from the beginning as he's a prisoner is a cool way to open the game, someone convicted and you must discover if he is a good person or not. Themes of revenge explored more than in sh3 which is pretty cool. The environments look pretty nice, and i like the look of the otherworld, once again being unique with its cooler color pallet, but without the ice so it really feels like its own thing. The EXPLORATION is awesome with an actual open world which I think works well, there's alot to do in town (unlike sh1 and 0 on limiting hardware and 2 which just pretends you can explore to town but you cant) there's alot for cool little stories and sidequests to do, my favorite so far being the cinema (which has a section of ACTUAL fixed cameras like old Resident evils which is smth SH has never done and its super fucking cool!) And all the sidequess help strengthen murphy as a cheacter and argue for his innocence or complexites. The weapons system is pretty cool, picking up items and attacking with whatever you might find, finding cool Easter eggs with exploration and having fun noticing things. And it does honestly have the strongest side characters outside of SM. The puzzles are pretty solid and fun to figure out with some cool mechanics and the seperate difficulties is a great thing to bring back (actually done well like sh3) I also kind of like the method of triggering the night world/rain/monsters, and silent Hill really feels likes its constantly punishing Murphy, as it should. The music might not be Akira but its still pretty damn good, and fuck yall I like the Korn song, and you CAN press start and skip it yknow. (Thx tomm hewlit)

The negtitives tho, well they are there. For one it has the worst performance of any sh game outside of pc homecoming and like...the hd collection, the framerate like to shit itself alot lmao, its not usually detrimental bc I've played re2r with similar framerates but, yeah its not great. Not to mention while the models look better than hc they don't animate well or often at all, and the game has trouble loading in the models as fast as they should. The sound mixing could use...some work too, poor murph sounds like he's eating the mic. While I find the games exploration really fun, murphy also has the issue of not running very fast so it can be a little annoying to get back to a place you want to be when you can't run that fast, not to mention the loading times. The monster design is def the worst in the series, maybe on par w SM. Which is disappointing bc there's some pretty good moments here and there, but not nearly enough to make it scary and there's so much you can do with monsters with this premise. Also, the running sections in the otherworld are better than SM ad even more engaging than the brief ones in 2 and 3, but still, I'd prefer to do puzzles or fight a boss or smth. I will also say, the endings are, iffy while the main 2 endings are really good and Anne's bad ending as well as the joke ending are great, murphys bad endings are weird and ooc for the muphy you come to know in the game (even more so than Origins) plus, idk that the writers knew all that much about prison andbprison culture, nobody in a real prison would be mad ab Murphy killing a pedo (there's some racist implications here and there too which is. Unfortunate and disappointing. I like Howard and Robbie but they are a bit tropey, esp Howard) that said Anne is a compelling albeit unlikable character and thas pretty cool to see pulled off.

Overall, while it has downsides, I don't think Downpour is worthy of all the scorn it gets, this can have problems and you can point them out without disregarding the good parts and while it is unfortunate it doesn't run better and have some extras and didn't handle some things great, I still think its worth a playthrough, esp if you go out of your way to do the sidequests.

Bonus round

Book of memories is not a game I intend to play bc I don't wanna get a vita and can't imagine I'm missing much. It doesn't look bad pwr say but I'm not interested tbh

Fuck PT. :)

#entries #silent hill #long post #thank u thank you #ill try tk put a cut in here at some poitn hold on srry

[the-scottish-costume-guy]

JK Rowling, transphobia and a hopefully helpful post.

A few days ago I posted on my Facebook (yes I have one sue me) debunking some of the things Rowling has been saying on twitter. Since she made a statement I felt the need to make another one... but this time Im sharing it here. Please note this is long, it is fairly opinionated in places but her statements have felt so insidious I want to share something in depth. If you are cis I implore you to read, but I understand this is long and a lot of people wont want to. No judgement. 

Jk Rowling’s latest statement is a mess of valid concerns and fear mongering. At this point there can be no claim she doesn’t know what shes talking about - she herself has said shes been researching this for years. She throws in token acknowledgements to “real” trans people while framing the rest of her statements as concern for confused teens.So first things first - and something that might not be popular with some of my trans friends. I agree that teenagers should not be able to medically transition. It is a choice that should be made when the brain is fully mature. Hormone blockers are something I trust - and that are reversible. I have seen enough detransitioned people hurting to feel like we do need to be careful - especially with children who are trying to find themselves. I dont know about other people but during my teens I was coming to the crushing realisation that I wasn’t special. I was learning that no matter how well I painted someone else did it better, no matter how badly I hurt someone had it worse - I was learning about the wonderful mediocrity of life, and having anything that made me stand out gave a brief reprieve from learning to be okay with all these things. For me to be fair it was dying my hair outrageous colours and dressing in black leather during 30 degree summer heat - but its still something we cant forget. I KNOW a lot of kids claiming to be trans are - and I dont want to keep that from them, however I dont want to cause harm to the kids that are wrong. Continuing on, I’d like to address her comments about TERFS. Terfs are Self Described Trans-exclusionary-radical-feminists and the term does get thrown around a little too liberally at times. Terf is not and never will be a slur. No more than “White” is. It is about a group of people who have taken it open themselves to segregate another group - and calling that what it is, is not a crime. The reason Terf and transphobe have become synonomic is because the ‘radical feminists’ that subscribe to this have lost focus on nearly all other issues of feminism and sit squarely on “dropping the T” from the lgbt community and “keeping men out of womens bathrooms.” Terfs are overwhelmingly women - this is sadly simply a fact. Terfs are reviled because of how much it feels like a betrayal to the community. A group that fights for rights - except ours. A group that wants equality - except for us. Its different to the conservatives who hate us all equally - with Terfs we are singled out. Terfs are not, as Rowling claims, inclusionary to Trans-men. I’ve been met with a combination of pity, loathing, mockery and revulsion by people within this group. I’ve been told that I shouldn’t let homophobia push me into transitioning - only for all correspondence to abruptly drop when I mention Im marrying another man. I’ve been told my old body was beautiful - only for stunned silence when I agree. I was beautiful - I was curvy, I was a dancer and had a body to match - but I wasn’t Me. When their usual arguments against me fail - I’m met with hate. Im called anti-woman, traitor, homophobic. I even have some such comments saved on my blog. I have yet to meet a Terf who was pro-trans-man. Rowling claims that had she had the ability, as a confused teen, she may have sought to transition. I hate to tell her but she did have the ability and trans people didn’t pop into existence in the twenty-first century. I’m actually looking to do my dissertation topic in my final year on lgbt presentation throughout history - and in my overeager way I’ve already started researching. James Barry has been becoming a common name for years - a transgender surgeon who died in 1865. If Barry was able to at least socially transition from 1790 to 1860, I am fairly sure Rowling could have in 1980 - over a century later. Rowling also claims that groups of friends in schools all suddenly identify as trans at the same time. Speaking from my school experience - the queer kids group together. We seek out others like us, and we take strength from each others bravery to come out - often around the same time. We almost get a rush of resolve when one of our group musters the courage and strength, and some of us use that rush to bite the bullet ourselves. Its one of the beautiful ways the lgbt community is here for one another - and the influx of people identifying as trans is partially a factor of more people knowing the name of their feelings. Survivor bias will ignore the trans people through history without the knowledge or means to transition - and will claim they were never trans at all. Her initial statements about charities worry me in particular. As I said last time - we know sex is real, we just dont really like to be defined by it. She is worried that we’re going to “rebrand medicine” and ignores that medications for years have had warnings in their leaflets about “If you are or become pregnant” regardless of if the person receiving it has a dick or a vagina. We dont advocate for ignoring the differences in how people respond to heart attacks - and I for one would like research to be done on how hormones effect that. I dont actually know if I would respond more like a cis gender woman or a cis gender man if I were to have a heart attack or a stroke. But where possible we do want to change the language around some of these things. I have had a double mastectomy, but some Cis-men have these as well. This is not a gendered term. Why should a period be called anything else? Why call it a “womens problem.” I and Im sure many other trans people, support the research into how different medical and mental issues affect different sexes. I just think that should be extended further - and we know it should, as some medical issues affect people of different ethnicities in different ways and we don’t know how. I am truly sorry that Rowling has experienced abuse and assault of any nature. I am truly sorry that she has felt unsafe. But her feelings do not invalidate others experiences. Of the trans people I know, a saddening number have been assaulted, have been abused and in particular have experienced these things domestically. There is much work to be done on this in the UK. There are nearly no mens shelters for sufferers of violence to my knowledge. I, a trans man who have experienced some of these things in my teen years, would Not want to be around cisgender women even if I could be. A cis woman was responsible for much of the pain I personally suffered - and in fact one of the acts of violence she carried out against me was directly after I came out as trans to her. Trans women, even if they could go to male shelters, should not have to be surrounded by a group that put them in danger - in a place that is detrimental to them physically and mentally and is frankly degrading. The belief that allowing trans women into shelters for those escaping abuse is dangerous is sad. To be so afraid is deserving of pity. To let fear blind you to the suffering of others - to think its better that a trans woman face homelessness or a return to an abusive household because you personally would sleep better at night is the kind of passive evil we should be aware of in this day and age. It comes from choosing to see the word “trans” before “person.” Its from choosing to see a persons genitals before their humanity. Trans people are not dangerous - and cause no greater risk than any other demographic.  Her claims that she can empathise with this fear are empty. A gender recognition certificate is not a ticket into womens bathrooms. Funnily enough you dont actually require a piece of paper to go almost anywhere. I do not have a gender recognition certificate and use male bathrooms, can enter male spaces as I please. All a gender recognition certificate does is change the letter on your birth certificate. It doesn’t even affect other forms of identification - my passport, my student id, my drivers license all already say male. I am not sure why so many people have chosen this as their hill to die on because its the least relevant thing to them on the planet. How often have any of you seen another persons birth certificate? Rowling says she and other ‘gender critical’ (a terf dogwhistle) people are concerned for trans youth. Well… she can take her condescending concern and direct it to matters that are relevant to her. Trans people want to be left alone. Its a simple request, and yet people endlessly seem to trip over the dirt level bar.

#transgender #jk rowling #terf #transphobia #lgbt #uk politics #I'm prob gonna get shit for this arent I

[nad-zeta]

Matchup! ( ﾟヮﾟ)

hiya! I only just found your amazing blog and I was wondering if I could get a ship for IkeSen? 

Basics~ I’m a straight Australian/scottish female (also huffelpuff)  with longish brown wavy hair, green eyes, freckles and dimples. I’m somewhat average weight but with more of an athletic build. People are always trying to hug me even though I hate hugs and also squish my cheeks. Im very ticklish and if someone tickles me I will fight back.

Personality~ I have an INFP personality type which really explains a lot about me. I hate talking about how I feel with people and tend to just ignore feeling like sadness or anger, but then I love it when people rant to me about their own problems since I like giving advice. So I guess im quite reserved, which I think annoys people who don’t know me to well. For me, being reserved means a lot of awkwardness, and when at school I tend to just stare out the window (if I have no friends in that class) If I am comfortable about someone I love deep conversations. Like, not necessarily about proper issues more about dumb stuff like how we are our soulmate from a past live (idk me and my friend talked about that one for ages) I also have a weird laugh but oh well… 

 I’ve always been quite spiritual I guess, and would always see and hear things that my family wouldn’t. I used to be really quite when I was younger, not really because I was that shy or anything but more because I had a very active mind. That got better as I grew older, but im still really into tarot reading and all that squiz! Aries is my zodiac and im very passionate about research and trying to figure out strangers zodiacs.

My hobbies include: field hockey, swimming, reading (ASOIAF over and over) binge watching shows, drawing, collecting stones and making stone pets, sewing and making clothes, stargazing, researching the biology of strange insects, journalling, baking, gardening, going on rides with friends and being in my hammock for hours. 

Things I dislike are: sleeping in (im an early bird), when people ask personal questions and I hardly know them, when my friends fight (im usually not apart of that), getting chilblains on my toes, when my neighbours dog won’t stop barking, tarragon (ew!), throne of glass book series (sorry, just can’t, nothing against the author), randomly judgmental people (like if you smile at them and they scoff, arggghh im already socially awkward safe me!) and the character Hannah from dark on Netflix. 

- Thanks so much, I may go stalk your account now.  ღ ღ

@ophelias-flower-bed​

Hi hi dear! ❤🦊Thank you so much for the request! I’m sorry for taking sooo freaken long with this!🦋🥰 Hehe, hope you have a super good day! And I hope you enjoy this, love! ❤🌻🦋

I match you with……………… Yoshimoto

After having arrived back in the past and saving Nobunaga’s life you were settling in rather nicely. The warlords had gotten used to their new reserved princess, who, low key kept to herself. It had taken you a while to get Hideyoshi to trust you, mainly cause when you did communicate with him, you would awkwardly stumble over your words. Although after some time, he had come to realize that you were just a reserved little cinnaroll. 

You worked extremely hard for the castle and its people, and you were starting to wear thin

As an apology for suspecting you of being an assassin, Hideyoshi showered you with gifts and turned into a big brother figure. He noticed pretty early on that you never really talked about your feelings, but the exhaustion from working hard was painted clear as day across your face. He shooed you to the markets with a bag of coins and told you to treat yourself.

You walked around the market aimlessly when a fabric stall caught your attention. The fabrics were dyed bright colours and incredibly soft. Your fingertips danced across each of the blots until you found one that you liked. You hadn’t sewn or made any clothes since arriving in the past, and you low key missed it. As you went to pay for the fabric and a few sewing notions, a loud voice boomed behind you, “What a beautiful design.” You tuned back to find a beautiful man dressed in a rather extravagant kimono. You gave a small smile, not really knowing what to say in these situations and left.

A few days later, you had successfully made your first kimono of the past and decided to test it out by going to a teahouse, to peacefully sit and sip on some tea. You sat outside, enjoying the warm sun as you looked out onto the beautiful scene before you. The teahouse had a beautiful garden, and you couldn’t help but feel inspired to draw it. 

Yoshimoto had just finished spying on the Oda forces, when he spotted you sketching in the summer sun. He curiously made his way up to your table and sat down. He was low key thankful for the fact that the teahouse was packed. The only open seats to chose from was the one opposite you and one on the other far corner of the tea-house. 

Your eyes shot up curiously at the new presence at your table. He simply gave you a kind smile, “Wow did you make that from the fabric, it’s absolutely stunning! You are a very talented seamstress little bird.” You gave a weary laugh in your usual awkward way, and told him that you were no seamstress, rather that you enjoyed making clothes for fun. He smiled as he sipped on his tea and watched you draw. 

A light conversation flowed between the two of you, and you found yourself actually enjoying is company. In the weeks to follow, you had run into the man more and more. These run-ins would usually take place in fabric shops, and end with the two of you sitting down to have tea together.

He honestly loved your accent, and that you would listen to him rant about all his problems. He loved the way your eyes would light up whenever he would ask your opinion on a matter. He especially loved that unusual laugh you would do, whenever he complained about one of his travelling companions always wanting to pick a fight with him. As the two of you got to know each other better you found yourself opening up more and more to him

He found your love for zodiac and tarot extremely amusing. He would ask you all about it, even wanting to know what his sign was and the traits that would go along with it. Definitely asked you more than once to read his cards. He even low key wanted to try his hand at reading your cards for you. It was also at this point when you low key told him you loved to collect rocks.

He wasn’t sure exactly when it happened, but Yoshimoto found himself completely in love with you. You had honestly been the first person to see him for him and not as some extravagant man or the head of his clan. He would often take you on horse riding trips outside of the town. His favourite spot to take you was the beach, cause you would always get that excited glint in your eyes at the idea of finding some cool new rocks for your collection. 

The two of you would walk together for hours looking at and showing off cool rocks you had found on the sand or in a nearby cave. Sometime you cuties would have a competition as to who could make the best stone pet. Yoshi has had a hard life having to burden the responsibility of being the head of his clan, but during time like this with you, he felt completely relaxed and at ease. 

One day Yoshi found a bright red ruby during one of your dates on the beach. He carefully tucked it away before you could spot it. He gave the stone to Shingen and asked him to turn it into a dainty necklace for you, setting his plan in action. He had planned out the perfect date to give it to you and confess his love. After a week of reporting back to Kenshin and Shingen, he made his way back to Azuchi to spend some more time with you.

 At this point, both of you knew of each other’s secret identities. You knew he was an enemy spy and the head of an enemy clan and he knew you were an Oda princess, but that never stop the two of you from hanging out with each other. You always missed him when he would go home to report back. So much so that even the Oda forces suspected that you had a special someone in your life. TBH when yoshi was away he would write the most beautiful poems and letters to you. They were never too romantic as the two of you had only been friends, but they did speak of how much he missed you.

On his way back, he spotted you in the forest with a notebook in hand sketching out strange little bugs that you had found. No matter how long he has known you, every time he saw you, you managed to surprise him. He walked his way up to you and glanced down at your notebook, you low key smacked his chest for scaring you. He spent the afternoon with you looking at strange bugs and telling you about the biology of the ones he knew. He was slightly surprised, as he never realized how many different types of bugs actually existed and inhibited the forest. 

As evening fell, he took your hand and helped you onto his horse to take you to a surprise destination. You rode until the sun was well beneath the horizon and finally arrived on the hop of a big hill. He carefully helped you down and lead you to a little picnic that he had set out for the two of you.

He remembered that you had mentioned during your various conversations that you also loved stargazing and it just so happened that he too was a lover of the stars. He had told you that on that particular evening there would be a meteor shower. 

The two of you sat and chatted in deep conversation about soul mates and past lives as you waited for the meteor shower to start. The two of you sat and looked up at the heavens as the meteor shower started. After the last star shot across the sky, Yoshimoto presented you with the ruby necklace and a small little ruby rock pet. He smiled as he told you that a friend of his *cough Sasuke cough* had told him the significance of giving someone a ruby and that he thought it was rather fitting for this situation.

After that, you decided to move to Kasugayama castle with Yoshi to get to know him better. You weren’t even there two days and you were named as the official castle seamstress by Kenshin due to the beautiful clothes you made.  The bunny lord loved your kimonos so much that he commissioned you to make a few tiny ones for his beloved bunnies

Yoshi couldn't helps but smiles as you would sit in the council room, silently looking out of the window. He loved watching the shocked expressions that would play across his friends’ faces whenever you would instantly open up whenever he walked into the room.

He was absolutely over the moon when he found out the two of you had a hobby in common, that being gardening. He legit loves to spend hours with you outdoors as the two of you dig in the dirt and plant some beautiful flowers. Sometimes if he is feeling playful, he will try and tickle you, which usually ends up in a bit of a tickle/mud fight.  

Because Yoshi is a warlord, he needs to stay fit and keep up with his training so when you tell him about your favourite sports he absolutely wants to include them in his training regimen, as a way to stay fit and spend time with you. He 100% drags his Kasugayama friends out to the open field so that all of you can play a match of field hockey. Thanks to Sasuke’s amazing ninja skills, he managed to construct a makeshift goal and hokey equipment for everyone. 

Usually in the summer when it is scorching hot, Yoshi would take you to a nearby waterfall or beautiful lake to swim to your heart’s content and to cool down from the scorching sun.

He absolutely loves, loves, loves it when you surprise him with baked goods, and will 9/10 time go and brag about your fantastic baking skills to his cousin.

His all-time favourite thing is to lay in a hammock with you in his arms as you read. He would usually just sit and watch you read occasionally falling asleep while gently holding you. 

Yoshi knows you hate hugs so he will keep them to a minimum, but he honestly can’t help but want to warp you up in his arms or pinch those cute cheeks of yours. His favorite thing in the world is to drop a small kiss on your dimples, as he finds them incredibly cute.

Often the two of you will be out on some fun adventure together, collecting rocks or having a blast. Quiet times between the two of you would usually involve merely enjoying each other company in random deep conversations. 

Other potential matches……………. Kennyo

I hope you have a super good day!❤🦋🥰

#matchups #match ups #ikesen matchup #matches #ikesen yoshimoto #yoshimoto imagawa #yoshimoto matchup #ikemen sengoku yoshimoto #submission

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Family (Alec Volturi x Reader x Jane Volturi)

Facing those who would kill you was terrifying. Death was just as frightening, if not more since yours would always be prolonged. If you were lucky, it would never come. Looking back on all of you centuries, you still weren’t ready. However it was fitting. Carlisle Cullen saved your life once. Dying for him seemed to be a good repayment. 

The Volturi dispersed, spreading into a long line, making all of their assets known. You felt the slight breeze through your hair, eyeing every last one of them. Two of them, the witch twins- they seemed shocked, eyes wide and stiff...eyes on you. The two took a few steps forward, breaking the formation. Aro, Caius and eventually Marcus turning to look at the two of them.  “Jane? Alec?”  “It can’t be.” Jane said under her breath, the only way she can muster out words. Alec swallowed. You shifted slightly, looking to Carlisle for a moment, uncertain of what to do. ‘What are they thinking?’ You thought to yourself. You exchanged a look with Edward and the other covens around you before back at the twins. ‘What are they thinking?’  “(Y/N)?” Jane finally called out. You were surprised she knew your name.  “Yes?”  “(Y/N), did you have any family?” Edward asked quickly. “I don’t remember.” You shook your head. “I don’t remember anything about my human life.” The twins looked at one another. "What?" You asked yet we're scared to know the answer. "They forgot us." Jane turned to her twin who's jaw was stiff. "What do you mean?" You looked around questioningly. "(Y/N)...they're your blood relatives. Your brother and sister." Edward said carefully, as though it would cushion the blow. "Come." Jane demanded. "No!" You said just as quickly. Jane repeated her request stepping forward and you stepped back, no amount of distance being enough. "(Y/N), i ask that you do not stand against the Volturi. Trust me when I say we don't want to fight you." Alec said suddenly much closer, taking a huge risk by being out of Volturi bounds. "How could I ever trust you?" You asked shakily, aware of every move Alec made and for that matter the lack of movement that screamed inhuman. "Because i’m your brother." He stared into your eyes as he said so. "(Y/N), leave." Carlisle said quietly. You turned to him in protest which he spoke over immediately, not caring to hear it. "Go. Trust me." You hated the prospect of leaving but you did as Carlisle asked, heading back to the Cullen house and waited for something to happen. 

You waited for what felt like an eternity before you were relieved to see the Cullen's and the covens return. No amount of mental preparation could help you with this. The two most deadliest vampires in existence claimed to be your blood relatives. Them remembering you, even Edward confirming it but you not remembering a thing. "Carlisle, what do I do?" You said immediately. "Nothing for now. Not until you're ready." 

A few days passed and the Cullen's went hunting after their friends left. Benjamin was the one to take your hand and give you words of reassurance before bidding his fair well. It made you wish he'd come back. You however, weren't hungry and so you stayed behind. You didn't stay inside though, you went out into the trees outside the house, needing the fresh air. That was when a scent hit you, an unfamiliar one. You opened your eyes and nearly gasped. Jane stood alone, hands by her sides with a stoic look, eyes boring into you. "Jane..." "Hello, (Y/N)." "I thought you left." She shook her head. "Not until we speak with you." "About what?" You felt fear, relentless waves of fear though not wanting to show it. Jane, however, seemed to notice. "You're afraid of us." She said simply. "As I should be." You responded. "No. You shouldn't be." "You've given me no reason not to." "Nor have i given you a reason to fear me. I haven't hurt you." She had you there but you couldn't pretend you'd be an exception. That's like putting your leg in a bear trap whilst hoping it wouldn't bite down.  “Is this some sort of trick?” You suddenly asked. “Are you really related to me?”  “Of course, it’s not. My brother and I remember you very well. It’s sad that you cannot say the same.”  “Tell me, tell me everything.”  “Let’s talk inside.” Jane suggested.  “I’ll tell you everything you want to know there.” 

You sat at opposite sides of the table. You waited for Jane to talk. She stared back at you for a moment before speaking. She looked slightly uncomfortable, clearly she didn’t talk about this.  “You were younger than us by a few years. None of the children back then even laid a finger on you. My brother and I made sure of that. We kept our distance publicly, trying to save you from some of the trouble but we always made sure to make it up to you at home.” Jane could remember one particular memory well. 

The same group of children who tormented the twins, were now bothering you for being related to them. You were much smaller, too young to understand fully just why these children were being so cruel. Before they could rough you around, a stone collided with one of the children’s heads, the ring leader of the group. He yelped, rubbing the side of his head and looking to see where it came from. Alec stood on the hill, armed with another stone, ready to throw it.  “Leave them alone!” Jane stormed up to the group, leaving her brothers side. The group took off running, leaving you in a heap on the forest floor. Jane took both of your hands, pulling you up and dusting you off. “Are you okay?”  “mmhmm.” You nodded, holding back tears. Jane looked you over before looking up at Alec in the distance and you followed suit. 

Alec was clearly bothered by the scene. He was your older brother after all, he had to protect you more than anyone else did. He felt like he had failed you in that moment. 

She even remembered how you’d walk in between them, each of your smaller hands in theirs. Seeing you had grown since the last time she’s seen you. You weren’t the younger sibling she remembered but that was better than losing you all together as she thought she had before. “You never let what the village said about us sway your judgement of us. It really was unconditional love at its finest. Losing that after our change...that was difficult.” You had never seen Jane so emotional. “I don’t know where you were that night..the night of the...” Jane trailed off. She must have meant the stake.  “We thought you were dead.” Jane’s expression suddenly hardened. “Though when we saw you, Aro had no other choice than to tell the truth.”  “The truth?” You repeated. “You survived, that night. Our father came for you, mother died and he believed we did so too. That was it for a year or two, but Aro returned for you.”  “For me? Why?” Jane continued. “He wanted to know if you’d have a gift like we did. So he changed you when our father left. He came home to find his remaining child gone. You didn’t so he left you behind.” You looked horrified. “And you’re okay with that?” Jane thought for a moment. “I know Aro and he isn’t known for his generosity. I feel no need to challenge him for it. You ended up fine in the end.” You were about to snap at her when you suddenly remembered Chelsea. She had the ability to manipulate relationships, she clearly had her hooks on the twins just as much as everybody else.  “So what made you come here then? If it really doesn’t change much of your stance, why bother coming to speak to me?”  “Because my brother and I dont want you to be afraid of us, anyone but you.” She paused, almost hesitant to finish. “Also because I missed you.” You looked up at her sharply. “My brother and I, we missed you.” You couldn’t respond, and you couldn’t help but believe her. 

You were both torn out of the moment to hear footsteps approaching. Surely they hadn’t come back so early?Then it hit you. Edward. Sure enough, Edwards scent hit. You looked to Jane alarmed before gesturing for her to follow you. Edward was going to go through the front, Jane would be going out the back. Seeing this Jane looked at you in surprise. “If you’re really my sister then why would i let you be caught?” You caught the glimmer in her eyes. An honest glimmer of hope.

Once she had gone, you returned into the room just as Edward entered. Jane’s scent hit his nostrils and he growled. “Who was here?” “No one.” “Dont lie! You’re actively not thinking about it so that I don’t find out. Who was here!?” “No one, Edward.” You said through a stiff jaw. “drop it.” “I can’t. I have a family now-” “enough!” You interrupted loudly. “If you insist, take it up with Carlisle.” You walked away not thinking about what transpired until Edward was well and truly gone and back at his cottage. You and Edward never really saw eye to eye. Whilst you both liked one another, you had different opinions on a lot of things. Ever since Bella had come into the picture and more recently, Renesmee, you barely seemed to agree on anything anymore. You didn’t want to talk to him about this. He’d have nothing really of value to say. Of course Edward did exactly that. Not only did he take it up with Carlisle, he let him not he was not happy. You leaned against the door frame to Carlisle’s office with the whole right side of your body, including your head. “You know what im about to talk to you about don’t you?” You slowly nodded. “Was Jane here?” “Yup.” You nodded. Edward wasn’t here so he didn’t hear it. You’d never admit it to him. “Why wouldn’t you tell Edward?” “Because he doesn’t get to know.” You said flatly. “Its none of his business. It’s yours.” “He’s family.” Carlisle said with ease. “You’re the leader of the coven. It’s your house. He knew the situation wasn’t about him. He was just whining for the sake of whining.” “He’s family.” Carlisle repeated. “Not mine.” You shot back. “Yes, you both like to play that card but he’s my son, just as much as you’re my family. Whether you’re in my coven or not.” 

You couldn’t help but smile. You had a lot of respect for Carlisle and for him to consider you family was uplifting. “She doesn’t want me to be afraid of her.” You said finally after a moment of silence. “Jane?” Carlisle asked and you nodded. “And Alec. She came to tell me that they don’t want me to fear them. She told me bits and pieces of my childhood.” “That’s good. It’s nice to hear they remember some of their human life.” “Haven’t they always?” Carlisle leaned back in his chair. “Yes, but they were very private. Aro told me most of their memories were foggy or just non-existent. Though there were ones they could focus enough on and remember like they had just happened. It takes them some time but some of their human life stays with them.” “Aro changed his mind about me. He saw that I didn’t have a gift like them and left me behind.” You mumbled. “It could be possible Eleazar was around at that time? I can’t say for sure I’m afraid. Though I wouldn’t let it upset you too much.” “It’s not that.” You shook your head. “Its that my own brother and sister, if that’s what they are, are still loyal to him knowing that I might have been alive. Even after all this time. They never even seemed to check if I survived the change.” “They can’t change that and neither can you. Now it’s all about what you want to do.” You shrunk into yourself slightly at the question. “I…I don’t know what I should do.” Carlisle tilted his head slightly. “That’s a very particular sentence.” “Well, what I want to do may be very different as to what I should do. The only problem is I don’t know what I should do.” “But you know what you want to do.” Carlisle nodded to you. You leaned off the frame to sit on the opposite seat from his desk. “This time last week, I was the only one in my biological family. Now I have a brother and a sister who want to know me but are the deadliest beings to ever walk the earth. "Would you like to see them again? I can contact the Volturi for you (Y/N). You can meet them.” “You… you’d do that?” “Of course. I’m sure we can all put our issues aside.” They did. It took a while but they gave you a date and time. 

It was month later and now that the time had come, you felt nerves bubble inside you. What were you going to say? Only the orange-pink haze in the distance was left of the sunset. The meeting place was an old campsite area that was used back in the fifties. You’d have to pass it to get to the cliff at La Push, though that was wolf territory and you all stayed well clear of that. Somehow it didn’t seem real until you saw the twins with their backs turned to you, listening to Aro. Aro looked over them and nodded at you. 

The twins turned and shock hit you again. This was really happening. Jane was the first to step forward, seeming surprised to see you too. “You wanted to see us?” Alec asked lightly. You had never heard Alec be so kind in his tone. Though he wasn’t speaking to anyone. He was speaking to his younger sibling. The one he thought he had lost. You remembered Jane’s story, which had seemingly been one of many. You acted before you thought. You walked up to Alec and immediately pulled him into a hug. He seemed surprised by the action. Both twins did. You didn’t know what to say to them. Instead you only held him tighter. 

You barely felt it first but you grew to notice Alec’s hand press against your back, moving slightly to return your hug. All of the memories gone, more years than you could count had passed. You wanted to make up for it. Even if it took eternity. You reached out in Jane’s direction. “Jane, I swear if you don’t get into this hug-” Jane smirked slightly as you grabbed her, wrapping your arms around both Alec and Jane as much as you could. “This feels terrible.” You mumbled. “You’re fault. You dragged me into this side.” Jane forced you to break her hold on you to walk over to your back and hug you from behind. “Don’t tell anyone we ever gave you a hug, or we’ll kill you.” Jane mumbled into your back, squeezing you slightly. “Don’t get used to it either.” Alec added. “Yeah, yeah, you’re still scary.” You rolled your eyes.

#oneshot #one shot #twilight #volturi #the volturi #reader #alec volturi #jane volturi #jane and alec volturi

[until-we-fall-in-love]

Into the Hush: Chapter One

Into the Hush Masterlist

Pairings: Bucky Barnes/Reader, Wanda Maximoff/Reader undertones

Summary: It's only ever been you and the rugged wilderness; both unkempt and undomesticated. Until it isn't anymore.

(1870s Cowboy AU. A/B/O AU. Gothic/horror.)

Warnings: Violence, gore, dark themes, A/B/O dynamics, smut in later chapters.

If you are under 18, you should not be reading this!

A/N: howdy ya’ll lol don’t know how i came up with this one but it’s an A/B/O cowboy historical gothic au. it’s gonna get dark! also gonna be a real nasty slow burn lmaooo so mind the warnings, if you don’t do well with gore or violence, perhaps this isn’t the fic for you. also if you don’t like the Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, this isn’t for you, either, though i will be taking some liberties with this and trying to give my own take on it because there are aspects of it that i don’t like lol. im not quite sure how long this series will be, but i have plans for it. that being said, saddle up pardner lol and pls let me know what you thought of this first chapter!!!!

---

 Wyoming, 1872

The early morning air is crisp with new spring, cold and a little damp, dew glistening on the grass and glinting gold in the morning sun. Your breath still comes out in soft puffs that curl into the air as you step out onto your creaking, front porch. It overlooks the barren dirt road that leads up to your humble and charming farmhouse; weathered by time and storm and pleasantly cluttered with life and home at every turn. Off to the left is the freshly tilled ground that has been planted in; herbs and fruits and vegetables that will take over in the warm summer months. Trees have shaken the snow from them and have turned green and budding and new again. 

You wrap your shawl tighter around your shoulders, trying to gather more warmth from the worn cream, crochet wrap. You know once the sun rises higher into the afternoon, you’ll grow too warm for it, but now it’s needed. The wind curls around you, rustles your hair, lifts your skirts. It carries the promise of warmth, the reminder of winter. 

All is peaceful in the morning, before the day has broken over the hills. All that sings is the birds, lovely and bright and flitting from tree to tree. 

You lift your skirts, head over to the back porch, which wraps the entire way along your house. In the back is the barn, the pasture for the animals to graze when it’s warm. The creek towards the back, bubbling softly over the stones, crystal clear and cool. It’s perfect on a summer afternoon, but now would be too cold for you.

And you begin your day, head over to the shed where you ready the feed for the chickens, grab a basket for eggs. You enter the coop, greet the clucking hens with a coo, spreading food for them which they hurry to eagerly. As they eat, you gently reach for warm eggs in their nest, gather it into your basket and rush on to your other chores. 

Milk the cows, get them fresh water, fresh hay and in the afternoon, you’ll let them out in the pasture to warm in the sun. 

A few of them are round with calves, ready to give birth any day now. 

You tend to the single horse, only one now after your father’s male passed away last spring. The one left is yours; a dappled, brown mare you’ve affectionately called Clover. 

You’ll take her to town later, to sell extra eggs and milk, all the goods you can in exchange for bread or spices or money for the tax collector. By the time you’re finished with your chores, which is taking longer and longer as the farm extends and your father grows older and older, it’s around noon, the sun beginning to warm into pleasant rays of topaz and canary. 

Your father sits on the porch, in his old rocking chair, smoking a pipe. His knee has been bad since this past fall, has a harder and harder time helping you. Not that you mind; this farm has practically become yours, but he hates leaving you to it all alone. 

He’s been dying to set you up with an Alpha, find a good man to marry and help you with the farm. But none of the men from town pique your interest, few good Alphas in the small town of Longbrook, Wyoming. The train, not far from town, brings newcomers once and awhile, but it’s mostly quiet, tucked away in a valley, a river snaking its way through and out into the plains of wildflowers and fields. 

You know Longbrook’s secrets, the quiet, beautiful places that you run to when you have the time. Spend your evenings lazing in columbine and aster flowers, beneath old, crooked trees near quiet, turquoise lakes. Or on a bluff, looking high above the world, cool wind in your face and the fluttering of birds nearer to you than planted on the grounds below. 

You know where not to stray to, when the wilderness grows too rough and dangerous. Unrestrained in both it’s beauty and viciousness. 

So independent that you can’t quite imagine your life beside another, especially not beside an Alpha, with their combative, controlling natures. You can’t imagine a husband that wouldn’t mind you taking off, disappearing into the wilderness and returning when you fancy; like some feral cat, your father always remarks gruffly. 

He isn’t a fan of your disappearing acts, either. Alpha that he is, he’s kept careful and close watch on you since you discovered you were Omega, as irritating as it is. Controlling, but only because he means well. You manage to sate him by coming home before nightfall, when dusk is lavender and rose and the moon is only beginning to take the sun’s place. Besides, there’s not much he can do with his bad knee, can’t keep you cooped up the way he used to. 

Ever since your mother had passed, you had to step up around the farm, grow up a little too quick. Responsible and resourceful, you work hard for you and your father. But your father has grown rather overprotective, wary with the Alphas he let come around; well respected in the town, no one has dared disobey him. A few had tried; Brock Rumlow, the tax collector, was the most notable of them. Pushy and irksome, he’d tried to convince you to disobey, sway you to sneak out with him or let him come by but you always turned your nose up at him.

You have no interest in someone so aggressive, so controlling.

You aren’t one to roll over or lower your eyes submissively; many Omegas aren’t, in your opinion, but it’s expected. There’s no time for that, though, not for you. No use or desire for it. You have a farm to take care of, to keep running smoothly. You have a life to live, adventures to have, open sky to chase. 

And there’s  certainly nothing and no one that’s going to stop you. 

“Be careful goin’ into town,” Your father speaks up finally, smoke curling from his lips, voice rough and fogged, “Heard there was a few newcomers.” 

Your father is always wary of newcomers, prefers to assess them himself, rather than hear from others. 

“Yes, pa.” You respond, not particularly interested in them, nor sticking around for one of your father’s infamous lectures. You hurry on, grabbing all that you need, loading up Clover for the journey. You saddle her up, throw yourself over her with practiced ease, hitching your skirts up slightly and out of the way. 

“Be home by nightfall!” Your father hollers after you, but you’re already easing Clover onto the dirt path. 

“Of course!” You call back, just as you urge her into a faster pace, your voice carries on the wind, distant and as light as the new blossoms. 

You push her into a gallop; not because there’s a rush, but because it’s fun. Because the wind is in your hair and the sun is warm on your shoulders and Clover thunders across the ground, kicking up dirt and making a mess. 

You let a grin hitch onto the corner of your lips, lean forward, ease into the speed. The town is only a twenty minute ride, fifteen if you pushed, but you want to enjoy the ride. The landscape blurs past you in shades of olive and juniper, butter cream, robin’s egg blue. The pop of lily white, a sudden burst of dainty pink or blushing red. But it’s just you and the trees and the pounding of your heart along the beat of hooves against the solid ground. 

Free and open and bursting, you race away from home eagerly and into the wilderness.

You end up slowing Clover halfway through your journey, appreciating the spring air, new and linen clean, shadowed patterns falling over you beneath the trees. The wind tickles your cheeks, the distant sound of the river can be heard when you listen carefully, a soft rush of water. It’s soothing, like the creek by your house, the sloshing lake you visit often. You let it carry you into town, peaceful, lazily letting Clover step onto more worn dirt roads. 

Town people shout to you in greeting, wave as you pass by; you’re a familiar face to them. You give them smiles, holler back to some as you make your way to the grocers to sell your eggs and milk. You swing down from Clover, hopping easily onto your feet. 

You end up walking out of the grocer’s with some extra money and a few cans of preserved vegetables and fruits. You buy some bread at the bakery, a pastry to split with Wanda, who you’re hoping can join you for the afternoon. 

You catch sight of her outside the dress shop, peering at the finely made clothes through the window. She wears her own dress of dove grey, similar in fashion to yours rather than the ones she gazes at; your dresses are looser, easier to move and work and play in, aprons tied around your waists instead of the ruffles and frill of the dresses in the window. Her long curls cascade over her shoulders, near copper under the afternoon sun.

You call to her, watch as her features light up upon seeing you, before she picks her skirts up and bounds over to you. Her scent hits you; sweetly Omega, soft clary sage, warm rose, and damp patchouli. Mysterious and floral, she’s always been a little offbeat with her wide, wondering eyes that linger in darkness. 

Some of the elders call her a witch, little demon child, with her Eastern European ties and mischievous curl of her lips. But to you she is only Wanda, your dearest. 

Her fingers, nimble and quick, find yours, lock and lace together. “Hello, darling.” She says, pressing her lips to your cheek in greeting, her voice melodic and smooth; velvet dark and sweet twilight. 

You let your cheek brush hers, lean into the touch eagerly, soft, rosy and warm skin against yours. “Hello, Wanda.” 

She pulls back with a flutter of her lashes, wide eyes finding yours. There’s a familiar glimmer in them, which makes your heart leap amorously, excited and playful. “Are we going to sneak off to the meadow today, still?” She asks, dropping her voice to a hush and stepping nearer. Your hands tighten over hers as you draw closer, duck your head so you catch another breeze of her scent in her hair, the nape of her neck.

“Yes,” You reply, an eager smile pulling at your lips, “I bought us a pastry to split and a book to read.” 

“Then what are we waiting for?” She nearly purrs, bouncing lightly on her toes in excitement. You’re about to pull her along, drag her towards Clover when someone clears their throat behind you.

You both turn, fingers still interwoven, pressed to one another’s sides. Her warmth is welcome and comforting, especially as you both find Rumlow gazing back at the pair of you with depthless, cold eyes. His face, so marred and twisted, gleams pink and shiny with scarred and new skin under the afternoon light. The rays of white gold sunlight do nothing to lighten his features, nor the darkness of his gaze.

It pierces deep into you, as if he wants to pry and prod and pick you cleanly apart. It’s the gaze of a conqueror, you think, the gaze of someone who wants something that can never be theirs. It’s a disturbing hunger, the kind that sends a deep chill down your spine. 

Wanda squeezes your hand in comfort. So attuned to you, she perhaps can tell by body language or the dip in your scent that you’re frightened in some way, that Rumlow has caused you distress and he has yet to even open his jagged, scarred mouth. 

“Lovely afternoon for you ladies.” He says very coldly, as if he is not in fact concerned with the weather nor you both.

“Yes, it is.” Wanda replies for you, a dark, protective little gleam in her eyes. You can smell the shift of scent with her light aggression, the flare of sage that burns and tickles your nose. It sharpens and spices, makes you blink with it. 

“You’re both looking mighty fine, rich with spring. Omegas always were sweetest in spring. Isn’t that right?” He muses and it chills you to the bone, makes you press closer to Wanda’s side, as if you could fold into the safety of her body. 

There is old folklore; spring being associated with Omegas. It’s all about fertility and the new life that blossoms in spring, old wives’ tales of Omegas getting their strongest heats in the spring after long, dormant winters. Perhaps there is some truth to it, biologically, because winter can get so harsh and so sparse with food if one isn’t careful. Bearing children in winter would never be easy, but it’s something you don’t wish to linger on, particularly not with the way Rumlow is eyeing you.

Like ripening fruit to be picked. A flower blooming, awaiting the moment to pluck it from the earth.

Wanda grows uncomfortable now, too, you can feel it in the bunching of her slim shoulders. But she steps in front of you purposefully, a show of challenge to Rumlow, one of protection for you. 

“Isn’t that right, ladies?” Rumlow urges, taking a step forward and Wanda sharply takes a step back, forcing you back as well. You cling to the back of her skirts with tense, seeking fingers. 

“I sure hope you’re not botherin’ these girls.” Another voice speaks up, authoritative and strong and sure. The kind of voice that gives commands, ones you think many eagerly would follow. Not unkind, but unwavering. When you both turn to the source, it’s a blond man, broad shouldered and wide and tall. He’s dressed simply, the top few buttons of his shirt popped open to reveal a muscled chest. Pretty, light blue eyes. He has an honest face, a strong jaw, trustworthy and noble. 

His scent is distinctly Alpha, strong and commanding; cedar wood and leather. The soft notes of something gentler like cotton and the way your linen smells on a summer day fluttering in the breeze to be dry. It’s soothing, a deep comfort compared to the off-beat, metal tang and sour blood smell of Rumlow’s scent. 

Which, has become bitter and salty with his anger and aggression for this newcomer.  

“I wasn’t bothering them. Was I bothering you Omegas?” He asks sharply, prickling with agitation and it makes you grip Wanda’s skirts a little tighter. “And who are you, anyways?” He then almost growls, “Newcomer isn’t gonna tell me what to do.” 

You can tell Rumlow’s itching to pick a fight by the tightening of his shoulders and baring of his teeth. The air becomes charged with scent, territorial and angry and pungent. Wanda’s is still spiced and agitated, too, with the threat of Rumlow. Your own is dipped into distress, irritation, and the newcomer’s becomes stronger, cedar wood sharp. Rooted in place, he cocks his head slightly, challenging. 

“Why don’t you move along.” The newcomer says, and he’s not asking, he’s telling. It’s bold of him, with the way Rumlow’s face; twisted and angry, settles on him. No one challenges Rumlow in this town. He holds too much power, is too strong; both physically and socially. Even protected by the law by being a tax collector for Alexander Pierce. 

Another man steps up behind the blond, eyeing Rumlow with particularly cold and dark eyes; midnight blue, the evening sky bleary with stars, depthless and all consuming. His hair is longer, brushing the tops of his shoulders, half pulled back from his strong face--

When your eyes settle upon his features for the first time, it feels as if you’ve been struck; a blow of lightning, the sudden shock of cold water, the gasp you take when you resurface. It’s damning, you think, as if you’ve seen him in your dreams or in hazy, unknown past lives. As if you’ve known him your whole life, somehow, as if you recognize him now and wonder how you ever could’ve forgotten him.

He looks like the tragic heroes you read about; the ones that rise only to fall, crumble down after being so noble and wide-eyed. He is breathtaking and standing tall and strong against Rumlow’s piercing gaze. There’s a warning in his eyes, a half-dare, begging Rumlow to try something and see what happens now. Where the blond is golden-hearted and bright-eyed, he seems darker, more eclipsed. 

And surprisingly, it works, Rumlow eyes the pair of them, weighs his options, and then promptly steps down. He mutters something about leaving, about how this isn’t the end. But you can’t help the quirk of a smile, the hint of cruel amusement you get from watching him ease away. Slink off back into the hustle of town.

Wanda smiles wider than you, sharper, a little more mischievous, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Rumlow cower like that.” She says and turns towards the newcomers with a radiance that is hard to match. 

And the blond smiles, easy and gentle, “Glad we could help.” And then with deep courtesy, “Steve Rogers, by the way.” 

“Wanda Maximoff.” She pulls you back up to her side once more, offers your name to them, too.

Steve claps the other man on the shoulder, an ease is shared between them that is not unsimilar to you and Wanda. Steve adds, “James Buchanan. But we just call him Bucky.”

And Bucky nods, his eyes finally sliding over to you; his scent hits you at nearly the same time. Offbeat and pine, the sharp, cold smell of metal. There’s evergreen and winter, maybe the soft spice of juniper, the low cut of musk. It makes your eyes flutter, makes your head go soft and bleary with it. 

“Pleasure to meet you both.” Wanda says and her voice refocuses you, her fingers skimming yours to ground you. You flit your eyes away, but can feel Bucky’s suddenly sink over you the way the red sun will drop below the hills. 

You become keenly aware of your bare neck, hair pulled from your face and shoulders to reveal it to him. The cut of your dress suddenly seems both revealing and not revealing enough. Like it could constrict you, or maybe you’re showing too much skin.  

“What brings you here?” You ask, perhaps a little cooly, eyes seeking out the horizon rather than them. Anything but him. 

“Passing through. Looking for work for a few weeks.” Steve answers politely and his eyes glitter like the creek in the high summer. He’s pretty, you think, long lashes framing those eyes. 

“Oh!” Wanda exclaims and she loops her arm through yours solidly, her body warm and soft beside you, “You’re in luck! She needs help running her farm!” 

You almost choke. Throw Wanda a glare but she only meets you with that impish, precious smile you can’t stay mad at for very long. 

“I don’t--” You try to protest. 

“She does!” Wanda interjects, “Her father injured his knee awhile ago, been looking for someone to help out.” 

“Well, if that’s the case, then perhaps Buck and I will have to stop by.” Steve says easily, a half amused grin tugging at his lips as he gazes between you and Wanda. Almost as if he’s endeared by your antics. You bristle. 

“My father doesn’t take to newcomers very well.” You warn, as if that’ll scare these two Alphas away so easily after their little stunt with Rumlow. You worry that few things will scare these two off. 

Regardless you don’t need them on your farm, don’t need them trying to help or care for you or order you around. It’s always been you, and no one will change that. You’re not about to let them treat you like some soft, little creature who should be inside baking them pies and fetching them water. 

But you can feel Bucky’s eyes on your face still, as if he’s trying to burrow in there, make a home upon which he gazes. 

You grow even tenser, teeth grinding. No home to find inside you; just the unruliness of nature, the ever-changing seasons, or unforgivable storms. The river that churns too fast, dives between the mountains and the forests, the sly, sharp-toothed fox. 

You turn your nose up, “Besides,” You say, insolent and dry, “I don’t really need any help.” 

“‘Course.” Steve agrees and you aren’t sure if it’s to placate you or if he’s genuine, “But if you’re looking for an extra pair of hands to order around, we’re your guys.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” You say, though decidedly won’t. 

Daring yourself, you finally force your eyes to Bucky once more. His face is stern and closed off, reserved. He hasn’t spoken once, and stupidly, horribly, you long to hear his voice. You wonder what it sounds like, if it’s rough or smooth or everything at once. Does he speak loudly or softly? Will you have to lean in to hear him or will you step back at the crack of it? 

And yet, he hasn’t needed it once yet. His presence, formidable and strong and raw, is enough.

You blink, look away just as he glances back at you. This strange game of cat and mouse with eyes is making your fingers twitch and tighten in your skirts. 

“We should be off,” You tell Wanda, wishing to flee, to feel the wind on your face and Wanda’s body beside yours and the afternoon sun bursting on your skin. 

Steve wishes the pair of you well, gentlemanly and sweet. Tips his hat with a boyish sort of grin that perhaps would leave other’s swooning. 

And Bucky, gruffly, and with a sort of gentleness you aren’t expecting to find, says to you, “It was nice meeting you both.” 

Something warm settles into your chest, sliding down like molasses, dripping into your stomach and core, spreading throughout you like it owns you; settles deep into you like it won’t leave, real deep into the marrow of your bones. And you inhale, breathe as if this is your first real breath in the whole of your life.

You find yourself replying, almost as softly, “It was nice to meet you, too.” 

His lips twitch upwards in the barest hint of a smile, as if it’s the first time he’s smiled in a long, long time and he needs you to show him how again.

So you do, you give him your own smile that isn’t much bigger, but it’s much easier and sweet as honey, clever as a fox. Almost like you want him to chase you, follow that curve of your lips. 

Wanda giggles, before pulling you away and back towards Clover to begin your adventure for the day, but you think you can feel the dark of his eyes on the back of your neck still, the line of your shoulders. It lingers, until you ride off into the heather hills with her and disappear on the gauzy horizon. 

---

Wanda and you roll in the wild grass on the sloping hills. Laughing and chasing and playing like you’re girls again, half-savage and free and untempered. You tumble and shriek and hitch up your skirts, loosen your dresses and unbutton collars. The sun is a gold glow, warming the earth and your skin, shimmering dreamlike on the new green buds, the wheat yellow of the tall grass. You tip your face up to the sky eagerly, just as you let yourself flop back into the field, back hitting the ground that catches your fall, cradles you. Clouds pass overhead in cotton shapes, free and darling, and you’re still breathing a little hard from romping around with Wanda, feeling your heartbeat inside the cage of your chest. You feel flushed with life; ferocious and curious and excited. 

Wanda drops down by your feet, before slowly, languidly crawling atop you. She straddles your waist, her skirts spilling out over the two of you. You sit up on your elbows, jostle and try to dislodge her a little with another round with warm laughter, but she holds fast, nails digging into your shoulders. 

“I saw the way you were looking at Bucky.” She says and there’s too much mischief in her eyes, a clever glint that the sun turns amber and honey hazel. 

You roll your eyes at her, but even the mention of his name on her lips makes something inside of you stir. But you indulge her, leveling her with an unamused gaze, “And how was that, Wanda?” 

She leans over you, her fiery hair brushing your cheek, your shoulders. She fits herself closer, twines her arms around you all close and snug. 

 “Like you wanted to bare your throat to him right then and there.” She teases playfully, voice dipping into a warm, rumbling purr. Her nose drops, nuzzles lightly at the sensitive scent gland at your neck. It makes you squirm, your fingers tightening in the skirts of her dress. 

You allow her so close, allow lips and teeth and nose into the dips of your body because she’s so familiar to you. A piece of your heart is firmly in her small, warm hands. It blurs the thin, unsteady line between you two, though. Scenting at the neck is usually romantic in some way; often times sexual. Comforting, when it needs to be, but you’ve laid so many times with Wanda, gotten so close and tangled together that you often find your nose at her throat, the nape of her neck, tucking your face into the crooks of her body and she to you. You know her like a lover, you think, sink into her body beneath the sun and the moon and the open skies that spread out before you both. As if the whole world opens for you two. 

“Your scent got sweeter; milky lavender and dark jasmine.” Her lashes tickle your collar bones, her mouth warm and open against the skin there. It makes you flush deeply, sink into the earth beneath you, “Want him to bite you?” She jibes, flashes pearly teeth, her canine gleaming in that white sun. 

“Wanda!” You yelp, shoving at her and she throws her head back and laughs, “No!” And you begin to wrestle with her once more, pushing her off and sending you both tumbling down another hill. You shriek and peel with laughter, pulling and grabbing at each other until you roll apart.

She gets on her hands and knees, feigns a growl from an Alpha in her throat, the kind that rumbles out from deep within them, but the sound is a little muted, and too light in her mouth. She suddenly pounces for you again, playful and light, sending you belly up and onto your back, though. “You want him to tackle you like this,” She torments, grabbing at your wrists as you try and squirm and fight with her. 

With a grunt and all your strength, you roll her right onto her back now, hook your legs over her hips like she did. 

“You want to simper and cry under him,” She says and this time her voice gets soft and breathy and pouty and she is good at that. Her back arches beneath you and you push at her more, tighten your hands around her wrists, shove them down to the ground, feel her heaving chest and trace the curve of her smiling lips and rose touched cheeks with eager eyes. 

“I don’t!” You laugh, playfully bare your teeth at her and try and growl back the way she had. It’s better than hers, a little more bite to it, but it’s still too light and soft. She laughs with you at your attempt now, laughs and growls and yells with you until you’re both breathless because there is nothing and no one around to hear you but each other.

You howl and chase and fall into each other with giggles and wildflowers in your hair, get lost in her and the way the sun begins to fall from the sky and cast everything in a rosewood haze, slow and burning and beautiful. 

She lays her cheek on your back when you ride Clover back to her home, and she kisses you goodnight, lips at the corner of yours. Promises to see you tomorrow. 

And then you ride home, race fast and hard before the sun is swallowed by the moon, before the stars blink into existence and your father scolds you to all hell and back. 

------------------

Home seems eerie with the darkness that creeps around its edges, night drawing out all the creeks and aches and splinters in the old house. All the memories pushed towards the back of your mind rush forward like skittering spiders. The last sliver of light sits on the horizon, fighting, railing against that inky sky as you get home. 

And when you rush through the front door, shouting, “Pa, I’m home before the sun’s set!” You aren’t expecting to nearly run right into the broad chest of Steve Rogers.

You blink hard and he steadies you with a hushed, “Easy,” And his big hands on your shoulders. 

You look up at him in disbelief, brows furrowing, quickly lurching away from him, only to realize Bucky stands to his right. 

“What--” You start to snap, and this time your teeth are baring with aggression and irritation, gone is the lightness and playfulness you had with Wanda. Your eyes flash with the last cut of light that slashes through the old windows of your house. 

“There’s my feral cat of a daughter, fellas.” Your father says and your head whirls to him. 

He begins to introduce the three of you again, but you cut him off, “I met ‘em today, Pa.” 

“Oh, good.” He says dryly, unappreciative of your tone. You force back a wince, know you’ll get scolded for that one. “They’ll be helping you out on the farm for a few weeks.” 

You whip back to face Steve and Bucky, narrow your eyes at them, “Thought I told you both I don’t need any help?” You snap, unruly, wildflowers still caught in your hair that now slips free of what it’d been pulled back in earlier. You’re sure you look half-wild. 

Steve holds up his hands as if he means no harm, palms up to you and you see they’re rough and calloused and scarred. Used, working hands. Hands that have seen a lot. You glance at Bucky, notice that one of his hands is gloved, the other free. You try not to stare, flit your eyes back to Steve.

“In our defense, we didn’t know this was your farm. We were sent this way after inquiring in town for work.” Steve says calmly, and then puts his hand over his heart, “Honest.” 

You scoff lightly, turn back to your father, “I don’t need them, Pa.”

“No,” He agrees and pride swells in you, a small bubble of it for a heartbeat, “But they’d be a great help to you.” 

There’s no amount of arguing or protesting that’s gonna change your father’s mind once it’s been set. He seems settled on this, content and confident. You try not to pout, try not to stamp your feet or snap or glare them right out of your house. 

Final discussions are had; pay and what times they’ll arrive and leave. Your father, thankfully, warns them to listen to you, and if he finds differently, they’ll be kicked to the dirt as quickly as they’d gotten the job.

And then he warns them, quite frankly, to mind themselves around you and you can feel your cheeks deepen into crimson. Bucky and Steve dip their heads, though, say obedient and firm, yes sir’s, as if they expected it. 

Your father finishes with, “Alright, then. You two start tomorrow.” And then he looks to you, “Walk them out, will you?” 

You huff, but do so, walk them to the porch where the crickets and frogs have begun to chirp and croak and sing. The night crawls onward, the wind rattles this old house. A chill overcomes you, a little shudder. You think you can hear the far-off sound of baying coyotes, erie and high pitched in their frenzied yelping. 

“Suppose I’ll see you both bright and early in the morning, then.” You say, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Suppose so.” Steve says, lowers his eyes a little, “I did mean it, we didn’t know this was your farm.” 

You eye him, “Nothin’ I can do about it now, is there?” You counter, unwilling to give an inch, no matter how sweetly he looks at you with those darling, blue eyes. You’re sure that boyish charm works everywhere else, but you refuse to let it here.

He has the good sense to dip his head submissively, nodding slightly, “We’ll get out of your hair for the night then, let you rest. Goodnight, ma’am.” He says respectfully, before easing down off the old wood that protests beneath his heavy steps. 

And for a heartbeat, it is only you and Bucky and the rattling tree branches and the croaking night. A moment frozen, as if you’d captured it in a bottle like a letter that you’ll throw into the sea. Just this sliver of time that makes the whole world stand still, as if it’s been waiting or fearing for your coming together. 

You have nothing to say, but he inclines his head, holds your eyes like he’s holding the world in his arms, and murmurs all low and rumbling, “Goodnight, miss.” 

Then turns his back on you, and hustles over to Steve, to their tethered horses. 

And this time it’s you that watches him, eyes glued to his muscled back, the nape of his neck, as he eventually is swarmed by the darkened, reaching horizon.

---

You fall into bed, feeling strange and wary, a little weary, perhaps a little hopeful, too. For what, you don’t know. You can feel the wind changing, coming with new spring. But there’s something else, something heavier; the pressure is building, as if there’s a storm brewing. The kind of spring storm that bring destruction and clamor and the kind of rain that threatens to sweep you away in their flood and ferocity. 

Your bed creeks, the shadows are tall and reaching in your room. The moon spills in, but instead of painting you with wonder or lovely, pearl light, it only makes the shadows that much darker. The night brings the cold, makes you pull tight and inwards. You curl up beneath your quilt, try and ward off all that presses in. 

Eventually, you sleep. 

And you dream. 

You dream in visions of phantom grey and oil slick black, syrupy red, and flesh pink. You step lightly in a graveyard, the earth freshly turned and dark. Stones jut out from the ground like jagged, crooked teeth. It swallows you whole. The fog is thick and evasive, surrounding you and gathering around you, a train to your skirts that murmur and brush against stones and dirt and the hollowed out ground. 

A grave with your father’s name grows from the earth, forces you to stop, stutter backwards. Your teeth begin chattering, the clanking of bone against bone. You can feel the whispers of wind, something so near. Your heart plummets as you read his name, as you see his grave, which you now see is besides your mother’s. 

The ground trembles. 

Their graves crack, splinter like a dropped glass, bursting outwards in a wave of skittering, flaming stone. 

Frantically, you drop to your knees, try to put them all back together, as if that will somehow help. As if that will fix anything. You curse and cry and there are tears-- there are tears that drop onto burning stone. It sizzles and smokes but you can’t put them back together. You are alone, and you can’t. 

Your hands begin to burn, flesh pink and blister white. Mud sucks at your legs and your knees and then you are sinking, sinking, sinking--

Oil drowns you, forces its way down your mouth and your throat and clogs your lungs. Seeps into every part of you. It’s invasive, forceful in it’s push and pull of you, it sucks at you and you are forced downward, kicking and screaming. Forced to swallow and take and be filled.

You twist, frantic. Try to fight back, but you are caught in the thick of it. It devours your screams and cries and pain.

And from above, there is a cut of silver, a star in the inky sky. A hand; metal and unnatural plunges in for you. And he pulls you clear out of the muck, the earth’s blood and into his arms.

When you emerge, it is as if you’re cleansed by the light. Gone is the slick oil, gone is the choking and drowning and thrashing. Bucky holds you to him now, crushes you to his chest where you can hear the live, thundering beat of his heart. 

“I’ve got you,” He murmurs, cradling your skull as if it’s precious, something to be protected. Your nose is pushed to his neck and you--

You cling to him, swallow down clean gulps of spring air and the juniper bright and metal sharp smell of him. Pine, there is pine and evergreen, too. Clean and fresh and dipping into musk. Your heart slows, lulls, with his voice in your ear; that voice you’d so desperately wanted to hear.

You feel as if you’ve heard it your whole life now, as if you can’t imagine going another day without hearing it. And he says your name, not Omega, just your name. And he breathes and is warm and alive beneath you. 

When you look around now, the earth is fertile and bright and warm. Spring damp roses and sweet, honeycomb sunshine. The fauna is in full bloom, an overabundance of life that leaves you inhaling the fragrant air. It’s so thick, almost cloying. 

And there is no breeze, you think. 

And Bucky’s lips are at your neck. 

And there is a stirring in your stomach but its--

It’s all wrong. 

He tries to lay you down. And you don’t protest because there’s something so tempting about it all, so safe, or so instinctual. There’s an ache and a burn and you want to shed your skin, you want to let him in and never let him out, bury his body in the ground with you. Become the earth and fertilize the flowers and feed the foxes you love so much. You wanna lie with him until the crow calls, until you’re nothing but him and you and the gem stones deep in the ground. 

But when his face lifts from your vulnerable neck, it is not him. 

Rumlow stares down at you, his scarred face so close and imploring. He croons Omega and you shriek, you try to get away, but it’s like the oil all over again; you trapped and thrashing and stuck. Rabbit in a snare. Fox in a trap. You scream, scream for Bucky or Wanda or even Steve or your father. You scream until it tapers off and burns into something ragged, shredding your voice. 

He is just heavy atop you, and his face is morphing and shifting, like he’s a new creature altogether. Blackened eyes that are too wide, too large and there is a gaping whole where his mouth should be--

You claw at him, scratch with nails, pull at pink flesh and cartilage and bone until he starts dripping blood and saliva, growling like a rabid dog. You twist his face away so sharply, so horribly, that there is a sickening crack and then the full of him collapses atop you.

You squirm and you are crying, choked sobs because it feels like you are burning, or aching. Lonesome and longing or horrified and fearful of everyone. You want to be held in equal measures that you want to run away and never see another face again. You are torn, split in two and unraveling. 

When you scramble away, deeper into the fragrant wild grass. You realize there is wetness, slick and warm and--

There is blood. So much blood coating your legs and it seeps through your skirts, stemming from between your legs. It pools beneath you, waters the flowers and seeps into the earth as if it belongs there. 

You howl like an animal, fingers squabbling in the dirt and the blood and your body as if you can put yourself back together again--  

You wake with a hard, sucking gasp. Blinking hard in the darkness. Your hands pull at your nightgown, shift to feel your skin, still warm and dry and clean beneath your heavy quilt. Reassuring, gulping breaths bring back cool air into your lungs. I’m safe, you tell yourself, it was just a dream. 

But the night is still dark and the bed still creaks and the wind still howls, almost the way you had when you’d found all that blood-- No. 

But now you’re just awake, in a lonely room. And there is no comfort, no warmth or forgiveness in the hollowness of it all. 

You rise in the morning, heavy bags beneath your eyes, and begin your day in hopes of a better one.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #a/b/o verse #alpha/beta/omega au #cowboy au #bucky barnes fanfiction #alpha bucky barnes #omega reader

[fizzyhosh]

tagged by @kabeswaters !!!! love u big time

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? .... 3

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #onedirectionstan

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? gross Harry Styles

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? get ready for disappointment but the good thing is one direction would be to my musical as abba is to mamma mia

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i have strong ambitions but they are outweighed by executive dysfunction so lots of adults like teachers just think I'm lazy 🤪🥴

6. what’s your wake up ritual? currently it's get up at 2pm, look at discord, snapchat, and instagram, then eat some gosh darn food

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? this is so unhealthy I know grab a snack and a soda and scroll mindlessly on social media until I get tired, get up and brush my teeth, go back to my bed and put on my sleep playlist (called sleeby) and set a time so it stops playing after I fall asleep

8. what’s your favorite time of day? despite the fact that I get up in the afternoon, it's actually like 10am that's a goooood time

9. your go to for having a good laugh? I look up Niall Horan laugh complications it genuinely works every time

10. dream country to visit? Germany or Italy

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my 19th birthday my roommates had a surprise party for me and I was so shocked and almost cried bc it was so sweet and bc made me anxious

12. heels or flats/sneakers? I thought that said heelys :(( but sneakers

13. vintage or new? vintaaaage

14. who do you want to write your obituary? uh idk hopefully none of my current family bc I don't want to die before them cause that'll mean I die young??? this question is making me overthink so I'm just gonna say Ewan Gregor and move on

15. style icon? this chick named mathilda on Instagram you might have seen her on insta or Pinterest she's a redhead but her style is brilliant

16. what are three things you cannot live without? music, dr. pepper, eggos

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? I sound so white but SALT I salt the heck outta everything

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? Steve Irwin, Harry Styles, Freddie Mercury

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? dying while I'm taking a shower and having my family find my naked, wet, dead body falling out of love. which makes me not want to fall IN love bc then the chance of falling OUT of love becomes a possibility

20. window or aisle seat? window window window window window

21. what’s your current tv obsession? not really obsessed with anything rn but I rewatch new girl every chance I get

22. favorite app? instagram

23. secret talent? I can wiggle my ears

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? i flew to New Orleans during a break with two of my friends bc they found $60 round trip tickets. We bought the tickets the day before. We literally got to NOLA at 7am and left 8pm the next day. only spontaneous/adventurous thing i have ever done

25. how would you define yourself in three words? funny, understanding, quiet

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my overalls :'))

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a jean jacket !! looks good on anyone and with anything and they're so cute

28. a superpower you would want? to make people see themselves as their loved ones see them

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? music I'm fixated on one direction and harry styles and louis tomlinson rn of you cant tell by a lot of my answers

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? don't apologize because you like something. don't be embarrassed that you have preferences

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? be unapologetically you. life is too short to feel guilty for having opinions.

32. a book everyone should read? me and earl and the dying girl

33. what would you like to be remembered for? being kind to all

34. how do you define beauty? kindness, humor, a sweet soul makes a beautiful person

35. what do you love most about your body? I think I'm proportional? like... my size and shape... I hate how that sounds but my overall body ,,,,,,,

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? crack open and nice cold soda and put on headphones and lay on the ground (it makes me back feel better)

37. favorite place to view art? art galleries the environment and ambiance is immaculate

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? Everything is Outta Reach cause I fail a lot but also I'm sHORT

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? pianoooo

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? I want my forearms to be filled with random little doodle tattoos I get over time (picture louis tomlinsons right arm, like the "oops!" and skateboard, and dumb things like that)

41 dolphins or koalas? KOALAS

42. what’s an animal that represents you? .....koala. also chameleon...

43. best gift you’ve ever received? so I need to be hugging a pillow or stuffed animals to sleep and I lost some stuffed animals that I loved and were huge and my go to for hugging at night and that Christmas my brother got me a huge elephant and a body pillow to replace them and I actually cried

44. best gift you’ve given? im really bad at giving gifts but my brother searches everywhere for this book in specific print and language and after years I found one and got it for him for Christmas. he's not good at showing appreciation and excitement but I could tell that he was stoked

45. what’s your favorite board game? BETRAYL AT THE HOUSE ON THE HILL it's so complicated and so good and I love it so much

46. what’s your favorite color? yellow and red

47. least favorite color? o r a n g e I just realized it's between red and yellow make it make sense

48. diamond or pearls? diamonds

49. drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore! I don't wear makeup often enough to spend money on designer but occasionally I get some good stuff from ulta then immediately regret it and go back to my Walgreens makeup HAHA

50. pilates or yoga? yoga

51. coffee or tea? I don't drink either but I like the aesthetic of tea more

52. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? pneumonoultrascopicsiliconvolcanoconoiosos because it's the longest word in the English dictionary and it's has a very specific definition and it's so extra when I was 7 i had a friend who could spell it forwards and backwards

53. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk!! I only like dark chocolate if it's reisens

54. stairs or elevators? stairs I'm afraid of elevators

55. summer or winter? summer

56. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? mac and cheese

57. a dessert you don’t like? uhhhh... umm... uh... anything with tree nuts cause I'm allergic??? I love dessert

58. a skill you’re working on mastering? I'm learning guitar !!

59. best thing to happen to you today? I woke up before 2pm

60. worst thing to happen to you today? my family all decided to a be in a bad mood today so that's super exciting to deal with :))))))

61. best compliment you’ve ever received? that I'm a really good listener

62. favorite smell? candles right after they're blown out and the air outside when it's cold. it has a smell. it DOES.

63. hugs or kisses? hugs

64. if you made a documentary, would it be about? the one direction boys' solo careers and eventual reunion when it happens

65. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? if that includes music, louis tomlinsons album walls. but if not, ehm the martian that movie makes me cry don't come for me

66. lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

67. sweet or savory? savory

68. girl crush? lily james

69. how do you know you’re in love? I've been trying to figure that out... I think it's when everything reminds you of them and you can completely be yourself around them and feel a sense of home and belonging.

70. a song you can listen to on repeat? greyhound by calpurnia or baby driver by simon and garfunkel

71. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? h a r r y s t y l e s I have questions I need answered and I wanna hear unreleased HS and 1D music

72. what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? going back to school so I can be with my best friend slash future boyfriend

tagging: @lupinlongbottom @outerlacy @fortisfiliae @theseuscmander @wizardwritings

#not hp #about ash #ask ash