#also this is the most research i've ever done for a story so lmao

[ionfusionpunk]

hello, what’s this about awake craniotomies and clone chip removal? (I don’t follow you, I just saw your note in the reblogs and went “oooo this seems interesting!”)

Heyo! Of all the things I've commented on a post, I think this is exactly the one I expected to hear about the least lolol. I'm warning you, this is... a long post. It got away from me, I'm so sorry T-T (It's heckin long. I'm really sorry. I'll summarize at the top and you can read more beneath the break if you want.)

Long story short, I hyper fixated on this tiny little detail that really doesn't actually affect anything within the SW universe lmao.

TL;DR: The clones should be awake for their chip removal procedures with the exception of extenuating circumstances. Also, disclaimer, I'm not in the medical field, I just love research. If I get anything wrong, anyone is free to correct me :)

If you have any questions, please ask, I'm not very good at explaining things in way others understand at first. So it all makes sense to me, but you might not follow my leaps in logic 😅

Longer story: I was reading a fic this morning, and the clones involved got their chip removed. The text said something about 'waiting for them to wake up from the surgery', and it just kinda... idk, hit me that I have never ever read any fic where the clone doesn't have to wake up from being completely sedated for brain surgery.

Now, look. Write what you wanna write, like I said, it's not a big thing. But one of my neurodivergent quirks is that inaccuracy/misinformation/ignorance (willful or innocent) kinda bugs me? I like knowing that other people know things - know correct things. It brings me satisfaction and helps me sleep at night. So I kinda notice trends in what people seem to not/know.

My first thought when I realized the trend of complete sedation for brain surgery/chip removal led to me to draw two conclusions: a) As happens in fandom, most everyone just writes clones completely sedated for this procedure bc everyone else does. No biggie. It's easier, and again, doesn't really matter. b) Most everyone is working off misinformation pulled from inaccurate medical dramas and the assumptions made by the average fic writer. Again, not an issue. It's fiction. I just like... accuracy. So my brain took this and went ham.

Kay. So, there's this really cool thing about the brain that I'm starting to think isn't common knowledge? I'm kinda a nerd for weird medical things, and it's been a long time since my high school biology class where I first learned about this, so maybe it's just me. The brain doesn't have any pain receptors. None. Like, if you had just a living brain in the palm of your hand and you stabbed it or punched it or whatever, it wouldn't feel pain. Pressure maybe, since it still has touch receptors, but no pain whatsoever. The only pain receptors present around the vicinity of the brain are the ones around the brain.

This little fact led to a really cool and helpful medical advancement several years ago: this thing called awake craniotomies, or brain surgery where the patient is still conscious. The benefit is that it allows the surgical team to engage the patient and actively monitor cognitive function; this is a far step from waiting for the patient to wake up in order to determine if the surgeon done effed up and turned the patient into a vegetable - if they woke up at all, that is.

Originally this was practiced on epileptic patients bc, yanno, epilepsy. It's a really finicky condition, after all. Since then however we've managed to find other treatment options for epilepsy and other related conditions, so awake craniotomies (or conscious craniotomies as I call them, since it alliterates lol), so we've moved away from brain surgery there. Instead, awake craniotomies are now most often performed when removing or recessing a brain tumor. Again, it's a really finicky process, and the surgeon and their team really like being able to check on the patient during the whole process.

Before anyone freaks out about the pain receptors around the brain, there's an answer for that, too. A local anesthetic is used to completely numb the skull and scalp. Think of an epidural; it's the same idea.

Now, you may ask, how this all relates back to SW? Well, that's a great question lmaoooo. Now, in all of canon SW, there are only... seven (maybe eight) instances of a clone getting their chip removed. Tup, Fives, Rex, Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, and Omega (and Crosshair if his chip actually was removed like he said, I haven't watched TBBS2 yet). Actually, did Kix? I don't remember. Anyway.

I'm operating off the assumption that SW medical knowledge/tech is about equal to our own - i.e. that they still use many of the same procedures/practices/techniques for most things bar canonical exceptions. My friend in the server however pointed out that they weren't sure any clone medic could perform a complex brain surgery. Now, that's a fair point. The Kaminoans wouldn't care to teach the medics how to perform those surgeries on each other; they're products, they can be replaced, so what's the point?

But. Here are my counterpoints to that.

First. In the event of an emergency, it would only make sense that a clone medic be prepared to perform any sort of necessary procedure on a natborn officer or even their Jedi general/commander in the event they could not make it to a medical station or a proper surgeon in time. If there were natborn medics trained in complicated procedures and stationed on the ships, then there's always the chance there would be far more clone medics than them, and thus if they die, the clone medics would need to be able to step up in their place. So. Clone medics can probably perform brain surgery.

Second. With Fives, Rex, and CF99 (minus Crosshair), they remove their chips via surgical droid/machine. In fact, both Rex and CF99 do so on a GAR class ship. This shows that not only did the clones have access to the necessary technology, but it could also be easily operated. And not only that, but the only thing they needed was a program to locate and remove the chip. I think the importance of the program is that the machine itself can't perform a Level 5 Atomic Scan, so the program is needed to triangulate the position of the chip for the surgical machine itself.

Now. As to why an awake craniotomy is the way to go. Again, it allows the team to actively monitor cognitive function. Only in extenuating circumstances will the patient be completely sedated. This could be preference on the patient's part or due to certain circumstances.

Look at Tup, for example. His chip was rotting in his skull, and it's treated like a tumor (technically it is). Keeping him awake risked damage to himself and others. In light of this, it was safer for him to remain fully sedated. Additionally, he probably couldn't be revived completely either due to the already existent brain damage. This is an extenuating circumstance. Note however that there was still a qualified individual present for the surgery: the AZI droid maybe Nale Se, maybe Fives, I legit don't remember I'm so sorry). Now, there is another side to Tup's case: the Kaminoans. Nale Se wouldn't have cared for Tup's continued functionality; she only wanted his chip. She would have kept him sedated out of convenience, because the intent was always to have him decommissioned anyway.

Now for Fives. Fives learned about the chips. He had his removed. Who helped him? AZI. However, my theory here is that it isn't actually AZI performing the surgeries. I think he just... holds the programs for various surgeries and programs the surgical machine. We don't see anything of Fives' actual chip removal procedure, only the aftermath. I hypothesize that Fives was awake in the machine however, just properly anesthetized by AZI - who, as a medical assistant droid, would most likely be programmed as an anesthesiologist - and also observed by AZI. What I'm saying is that AZI probably was monitoring Fives' cognitive functions while he underwent an awake craniotomy to remove the chip in his head.

Rex. We know nothing about that procedure, just that it happened (unless we do, idk). Either another clone medic helped him and was there to monitor cognitive function, or Rex involved the help of another droid in order to be properly anesthetized for the process. Given the intense nature of the circumstances, he wouldn't have wanted to be fully sedated for the process in case he had to respond quickly to the chaos - which he did, leading ultimately to him and Ahsoka escaping with their lives. So, he wouldn't have been monitored (except maybe by a droid), but he definitely wouldn't have been fully sedated, either.

Then for CF99. For these procedures, we see Tech program the machine and then stand watch as they go in. They aren't sedated, with the technical exception of Wrecker (iirc, he was stunned unconscious). It's not just caution or paranoia that makes him observe, and not even just his knowledge of what's happening: it's procedure. He's there, as the only one who would know how to check, monitoring the cognitive function of his family.

Now, the conclusion, lol.

I mentioned my two hypotheses earlier about why fandom as a whole writes the clones being completely sedated. After going through all of this, I'm leaning more towards a simple abundance of misinformation. It's technically and tactically safer and more correct for the clones to be awake for their chip removals, and in fact seems to be subtly portrayed in canon (though it's really written in a way that can be interpreted either way).

The moral of this story is that TV medical dramas are shit and should never be taken at face value. Honestly. No one wakes up after CPR. They remain unconscious for a while. Defibrillation doesn't wake a person up, either. If you're hit hard enough to be knocked unconscious, you have a concussion. It takes seven minutes to kill a person by choking them, not seven seconds, but you can make them pass out in seven seconds if you apply pressure to the write spots on their neck in order to cut blood flow to the brain. Stuff like that. Oh, and yeah: awake craniotomies are a thing and are the safe way to remove a clone's chip.

#welcome to my ted talk #star wars #the clone wars #clone chip removal #awake craniotomies #info dump #meta #medical innaccuracies #fanfiction #misinformation #my interpretations of a very niche thing that everyone can absolutely ignore #asks #answers #asks and answers #asks are answered #now i'm rambling again oh stars please make me stop

[clippy]

How did you become so interested in iasw? I’m genuinely curious and I would love to learn more about it! Also, what’s so special about… 𝐓 𝐇 𝐄 𝐂 𝐋 𝐎 𝐂 𝐊 .

Would you believe me if I said it was literally an accident LOL...

Like okay. I grew up going to WDW and Disneyland (as well as other theme parks but those were the main two; my dad grew up going to WDW so the obsession has spanned generations I guess lmao) small world was always a must-do, but my main theme park interests as a kid lied within everything Epcot-related (and it still does)

Anyway, my last trip to WDW prior to getting the Disney parks as a special interest was in 2014. I went with my high school band and it was kind of a whole thing (high school drama shit + spring break week + having to do performances in band) so we didn't get the most park time possible. We wound up skipping small world which makes me Wonder if this interest would have been kick started sooner if we didn't skip it. But anyway. Fast forward to 2018. I am visiting my friend (and now roommate) who is watching a bunch of animatronic and theme park videos and I, a clueless man, decided to watch with her and it literally awoke a sleeper cell in my brain or something because I've been *nonstop* obsessed ever since 🧍

Like literally during that session of watching videos I designed my objecthead version of Clockboy. My life has not known peace ever sense, and tbh has drastically been altered (I'll get into that later)

But yeah the Autism(TM) made me have an insatiable hunger for knowledge about everything small world-related... I still don't know EVERYTHING about it, as there are lots of variations and history, etc. involving the installments of the attraction outside of Disneyland, but my main focus is the original world's fair & Disneyland version of the attraction (since they're the same thing... Mostly) as well as IASW facades in general...

There are tons of people who have equally as niche interests within the attraction's history which I think is SO cool. Like the fact that this nearly 60 year old ride has enough meat on its bones to have whole sub-groups of what people like about it is endearing

The history about it is what has drawn me into it (aside from the funny clock) because it almost didn't happen! There was a near missed connection between a Pepsi exec and Walt Disney himself that, had that not happened, we wouldn't have gotten the ride at all. I don't want to relay the entire history here (the Imagineering Story & Behind the Attraction episodes about the world's fair attractions get into it, as well as a plethora of YouTube videos documenting the ride), but that story about the beginnings of it is so dear to me, and I can't explain why.

But anyway, since my primary focus is the original attraction and facades, I've done some reading about imagineers Mary Blair and Rolly Crump, who have become two of my favorite visual artists and large inspirations for me. Crump has a few books and interviews out that have been interesting to read, but admittedly I've had a hard time finding firsthand accounts from Blair herself. I'm sure some art out there but finding them has been tricky since I don't get a lot of time to do research in general (the stuff by Crump was all found on accident, and he also had the benefit of being alive until 2023 so getting firsthand accounts from him was easier)

Otherwise I am just... Constantly googling stuff and looking for old pictures and merchandise related to IASW. It gets me a lot of answers, surprisingly. I go to Disneyland at least once a month to go ride it and visit my boy.

Still not entirely sure WHY my brain fixated on IASW and the clock specifically, but that's just the hand I was dealt I guess 🤷 don't get me wrong, I still love Epcot stuff and have other silly theme park guys I love (RX-24.... 🥺) but the small world clock has such a stronghold on my brain and I genuinely don't think he's leaving any time soon LOL

It's so funny to me because 6 years ago, I would never have guessed this would have been my next special interest. I was working at a job I liked decently enough. I was still dropped out of school and had no urge to go back, and I was considering moving to Seattle... But now I work in a theme park doing a job I never saw myself having (which is fine, I like my job!), I'm back in school (pursuing a degree I hope I can spin into a career in theme park design 🤞), and I live in California now. Wild how that happens.

The small world clock may not be special to most people (I mean, a lot of people DO like him, I see tons of people taking photos in front of small world with him as the backdrop!) but he is extremely special to me. I treasure him so so so much, and do genuinely think my life has been better with him in it... It's silly that a funny clock face has done So Much to my brain and life but :'-) I love him so it's okay!

Anyway sorry that this is long and sappy LOL, you happened to ask this close to the 6 year anniversary of me getting into small world (it's on March 31 to be exact 😊) so it made me reflect a bit lol

TL;DR sources for more IASW info:

The Imagineering Story Episode 1: The Happiest Place on Earth (1964-1965 New York World's Fair stuff is about 35 min in) -- on Disney+

Behind the Attraction Episode 8: "it's a small world" -- on Disney+

"it's kind of a cute story" by Rolly Crump (interviews; written down by Jeff Heimbuch)

Defunctland's 1964-1965 NYWF video talks about it a decent amount if I remember right

any pictorial souvenir guides about the attraction (currently, and slowly, working on scanning mine in, and will share them once I do, but they're up on eBay a lot if you collect that sort of thing)

Sorry I don't have 🏴‍☠️ links for the D+ stuff or the book but I currently don't have the spoons to search for them

#hi. this is long so read more #sorry if u wanted a short answer

[heartbreak-sandwich]

20 Questions For Fic Writers:

Thank you sm for tagging me, @lithium80sblog 💕 I always love doing these!!

1) How many works do you have on AO3? I currently have seven here!

2) What's your total AO3 word count? 29,395

3) What fandoms do you write for? Stranger Things ✨

4) What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. Animal Magnetism 2. He's the Bad Guy 3. Imagine Pleasure Dom Eddie Munson... 4. Echoes of Redemption: Love and Shadows in Hawkins 5. Red Letters to Nowhere

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? YES!!! If I see them, I will absolutely respond. I love receiving feedback on my writing, and it means the world when someone takes their time to leave comments on my fics 💕

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmmm I have quite a few wips, so I think the angstiest ending left up in the air is probably Full Circle Warnings.

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? It's a mild ending to a oneshot because my longer fics are still in progress, but probably He's the Bad Guy.

8) Do you get hate on fics? I have been really fortunate and have never received hate on any of my fics, thankfully.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kinds? At this point, I might consider it my specialty lmao. I don't limit myself much in the smut department, so I would say most kinds.

10) Do you write crossovers? Sometimes! I have written a Jeniffer's Body AU fic where Billy Hargrove plays the role of Jennifer. It's one of my favorites, and you can find it here ❤️‍🔥

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Also not to my knowledge.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? I haven't, but I would be willing to try!

14) What's your all time favorite ship? I'm a self shipper, and I'm not sorry. 🤭 Probably Billy Hargrove x Me, if I'm being totally honest.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Sometimes I have doubts about my first baby, Echoes of Redemption, but I keep telling myself I'll get there.

16) What are your writing strengths? This is a good question. I don't really know? I think I try to tie in real canon moments or events with vivid descriptions to keep up the immersion, no matter how small they might be.

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Impatience for sure. I'm too excited to finish the story or the blurb or whatever, and I have had some pretty weak endings and missed some good opportunities for tying things up.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? My thoughts are do it if you can! I've never done it, but if I do, I want to make sure to research well and make it as realistic and correct as possible.

19) First fandom you wrote for? Okay...this was a LONG time ago, but the first fandom I ever wrote for was DeGrassi, and it was because The N was having a contest where people would write a short episode for the show and send them in to be featured on TV, and.....I was 9, and I did not win lmao.

20) Favorite fic you've written? This is a hard question. I think I'll have to say it's a toss up between You Made a Fool of Death With Your Beauty and Red Letters to Nowhere (even though that one's still a wip).

No pressure tags 💕 @mrprettywhenhecries @b1tchy3lf @stalactitekilla @destroya-hargrove @castlexofxglass @battymunson @bettyfrommars @cooliestghouliest @reidsbtch and anyone else who wants to!!

#thank u for tagging me!! #tag games #fanfic writer #fanfic writing #stranger things fics #billy hargrove fics #eddie munson fics #a bunch of good stuff #this was fun fr #20 questions tag

[hopeswriting]

The favourite Arcobaleno headcanon I have ever made is HCing Reborn as literally any nationality that is not Italian. I do not care for where, but I imagine this man wants to pretend to be the epitome of Italian Mafioso- born and raised praise the sweet motherland. But he has literally not stepped foot in the country before he was an adult, and it is his most deeply embarassing, closely guarded secret. He is very smart, well-researched and skilled with acting; he is literally the world's best, so he would be able to keep up a ruse. But I always imagine that Luce will know the moment they meet, and he could not face her for it for a while. (As a bonus, he grabbed/gaslit Colonnello-the-childhood-bff to futher his story lol).

It is immensely funny to me, and also canon does not strictly contest it as we do not know any acro's backgorund extensively.

nonny this is the funniest ask i've ever received and YOURE SO RIGHT!!! about everything but especially about how this COULD be very much canon because we never learn shit about the arco. and not only that but it’s literally so in character for reborn i’m crying.

okay but i don’t think he’d be embarrassed about it, even tho i love the idea of him being such a fanboy about his perfect idea of what a mafioso should be (italian, apparently zedfcvhdx), he’s like, just so disappointed in himself for daring to have been born not italian, and of course can’t ever let anyone else know lol. and i mean, if people do end up seeing through his ruse, then they’re the ones who’d be embarrassed the most about it for having been tricked to begin with, right?

so i feel like reborn’s just doing it for fun, or maybe to stick it up to people who actually put being an italian mafioso on a pedestal in a “what, like it’s hard?” way. or maybe someone mistook him for being italian once and he went like “yeah, sure, i can be italian for a bit”. but whatever the reason i really feel like it all boils down to him waking up one day and going “wait, wouldn’t that be hilarious?”, and then he made it a challenge to himself to see how many people he could fool and for how long lol.

i DO agree that luce knowing would embarrass him tho!! because like, this is perfectly normal and logical behavior to him, but then suddenly he has to confront the reaction of actual normal people, which is probably something like “what even the hell?? why would you do that for literal years for no reasons???” lmao.

AND NOT HIM GASLIGHTING COLONNELLO TO BE PART OF HIS RUSE LMFAO NONNY YOURE FUCKING KILLING ME HERE!!! 😭😭😂 but also i like the idea that colonnello eventually does consciously get in on the ruse, and just goes “alright you sicko, sure, why not”, but also pulls a uno reverse card on him and goes “but we’re going to become actual friends tho, and i’m not asking”.

ALSO i think we should just throw skull in the mix here too. skull who’s more stuntman than he’ll ever be an actor, sure, but also who’s been just often enough an actor and around other actors he instantly goes “oh damn, that’s some crazy good acting here, but why tho?” upon seeing reborn. and then he confronts him the second they’re alone, going like “so, what’s up with the acting, what are you trying to hide?” and reborn just dismisses him casually, saying “i don’t know what you’re talking about”, but he’s sweating BULLETS inwardly, and meanwhile skull literally was just asking because he noticed and why not, but he doesn’t actually give a single shit about it lmao.

but THEN reborn’s all dodgy about it so of course he actually becomes curious about it, and they end up in this cat and mouse dynamic where reborn unfortunately can’t kill him to make him stop until they’re done working together at the very least. and his only reprieve is that the other arco don’t give a shit about it (and luce keeps quiet about it) even if skull wastes no time sharing his suspicions with them, and just, you know, don’t believe him, and i’m thinking of viper specifically here who’d go “i’ve literally found with extreme difficulty multiple documents proving he is italian and was born in italy and lived his whole life in italy”, and they’re all forged of course, but they don’t know that.

and then reborn eventually DIES, and they want to be considerate and nice and bury him in his hometown or whatever, but then reborn’s “will” which he made sure they’d find just goes something like “i’ve literally never been italian a day in my life you fucking losers, here’s where i want to be buried instead, get it right”, and the arco just go “?????????” while skull goes “i KNEW it!!!!”, but also goes “???????” because THIS is what that was about??? wtf?????

and i’m sorry i fucking ran with your hc nonny but this is really cracking me up so hard zesdxhg. 😂😂😂 but on another note i actually don’t think reborn’s italian either tbh! i can see it and write him as one because it’s easier lol, but yeah, i don’t think he is italian either.

thank you for the ask nonny!

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr headcanons #khr reborn #khr arcobaleno #khr asks #Anonymous

[cookinguptales]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

You know... I put off answering this for a while because I just could not choose five. And I still can't?? I have so many fics I've written, many of them for fandoms of one, and I find that I actually love a lot of them.

So... if you'll forgive me, I think I'll just talk about a whole bunch of fics that I love for a whole bunch of reasons.

(cut because... I really do talk about a lot of fics lmao)

I think these days a lot of people follow me for WWDITS/nandermo fic. It's one of my current loves, and I've really enjoyed writing for this fandom. I do wonder if I'll keep writing after nandermo becomes canon (or gets sunk for good) but in the meantime... I guess I'll just keep having a good time?

I think my favorite fic I've ever written for WWDITS is Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow, Too. I was looking at a bunch of prompts for the Trick-or-Treat Exchange (more on that later) and I ended up smushing several of them together in my head. But then the story really got away from me, I guess, as I really started to delve deep into Nandor's mind (a WILD place to be, I'm telling you) and it ended up not being posted for another month. Whoops?

Either way, though, I feel like I was really able to get at some of the ideas I'd been juggling with the characters for a long time at that point, and I think the prose itself was very nice at times. I did complicated things with that fic that I haven't done before, and in the end... I think I did a good job! It's probably the fic I'm proudest of in this fandom.

That said, I'd like to give Honorable Mentions to both When We Sway (I Go Weak) and Five Times Guillermo Helped Nandor Collect Semen (And One Time He Didn't) just because both of those fics involved me getting wildly out of my comfort zone. I think both of them seem a bit... outdated, maybe, after s4 and s5, but I think they match the tone of s3 nicely.

Sway was heavy on pining, something I feel like I'm good at writing, but also very heavy on physical action. As many of you know, I'm disabled! I have never waltzed. The kind of movement I described in that fic is not easy for me to do myself, and action scenes have always been difficult for me to write fluidly. So the fact that I was able to write both dancing and fighting convincingly in that fic made me really relieved. I got several comments from dancers telling me how well I'd captured dancing with a partner and like. PHEW. I did a ton of research and bro I was RELIEVED. So I do feel very proud of that.

Even more outside of my wheelhouse was both 5+1 things fics. I'd written a little bit of porn before this, even some for nandermo, but not much and I was largely dissatisfied with it. But boy did I get a lot of practice with those fics. lmao. It was essentially 11 sex scenes of various levels of filth loosely strung together with longing, and like... honestly, I'm very pleased at how most of them turned out! And I think I'm a lot better at writing porn now, even if it always turns out very fucking weird and introspective.

Speaking of weird.

The other fandom I love dearly these days is Sleep No More, which I've been writing for for several years. For a long time, I mostly just wrote this one for exchanges? Mostly ToT and Yuletide. I love writing for SNM, an interactive theater situation in NYC, because I can really fuck around with writing styles. I can play with ideas about religion and folklore and magic and blood and storytelling and tradition, and I can do it while writing some of the most fucked-up relationships that exist. I can play with a show that has very little spoken word, where a slap and a kiss might be in the same loosely choreographed dance, where I get to be a part of this haunted house, but only as a ghost...

While I'm sure the very few people who usually read my SNM fic might disagree, I think my favorite thing I've ever written for SNM is It's A Sin to Tell A Lie. It was my first time really trying to assemble a semi-coherent narrative from the show (largely inspired by some things that I realize now were not always common experiences in the show lmao) so I'm not sure it always aligns with how I see the characters now, but I feel like I wrote a really haunting fic that used the source material in interesting ways.

The Honorable Mention this time goes to The Consequence of Sounds, which is probably the strangest thing I've ever written. A friend of mine joked that she'd like it even if someone wrote like a haunted space hotel AU for the show and that apparently scratched something insane in my brain, so... I wrote a fic that combined space opera, Macbeth, Scottish folk magic, and the music of the spheres.

It's....... very weird. But it was also so fun to write, and I think it was fairly successful. I think the point of fanfiction is weaving together a familiar canon in a brand-new way, and I had fun bringing odd little allusions and old ideas into a new AU. I had to get really creative and that was so fun.

Speaking of weird AUs... I wrote a lot of them when I used to write karabita. haha. This is another one of those fandoms that I picked up a lot of followers with, though idk if any still follow me. Osomatsu-san was a weird comedy show that threw itself into surrealism and AUs very often, and that allowed me to do the same. I think... out of the many, many karabita fics I wrote, my favorite might be Love's Carriers, which is a flower shop AU I wrote out of spite after someone told me that all flower shop AUs are terrible. I worked really, really hard to make the AU suit the characters rather than the other way around while also incorporating flower language, one of my favorite stupid tropes. Again, I think this one came out surprisingly well, especially considering I wrote it in like... 24 hours in a fit of pique. lmao.

Other fics I remember being very proud of in that era... uh... The odd karabita KH AU that no one read because there is basically zero crossover between those fandoms... The soulmark AU because I am WEAK to those... The wingfic... ah... the wingfic... I don't know if I'd use words like "best" or "favorite" for that wingfic, but... I do think it's probably the most I've ever put of myself into a fic. The anxieties re: love and disability that I put into that fic were so real that I still cry every time I look at certain parts of it. I've grown as a person since writing it, but... yeah, those are still fears that haunt me. So I guess I could say it feels the most "me" of any of them I ever wrote.

Other than that... I guess we end up in my exchange fic era. I spent many years writing fic of extremely variable quality for exchanges lmao. I think the most successful was undoubtedly there's not a word yet (for old friends who just met), the muppets slash fic that launched... god, honestly. like. I know I did not create a fandom, but being in at the ground floor and being the one that everyone came to talk to when the pairing DID get off the ground was surreal. lmao. I created that tag on AO3! Everyone said I was crazy for writing that fic! Then they read it and they fell in love a little bit! Then the pairing became canon and everything went bananas! What a weird, surreal, delightful fandom experience.

That Muppets fic really came from the heart and really just came from me writing a fic during a very difficult time in my life and wanting to create a love letter to the characters that got me through it. I wanted to make other people feel the way The Muppets made me feel, and the fact that I succeeded in that (against all odds!) really does make that one special to me.

But... I wrote a ton of exchange fics for tiny, tiny fandoms that most people have never considered! Weird spooky crossover f/f ships, like my Crazy Rich Asians/Ready Or Not Astrid/Grace fic, or my Stoker/Sharp Objects India/Amma fic! Rarepairs like my Kimi no Na wa (Your Name) f/f Mitsuha/Miki fic! An unhinged lost episode of Puppet History! Character studies of dear little elderly murderers in Arsenic and Old Lace!

I also wrote sort of quasi-original fic, especially for the ToT exchange. Ghosts of dinosaurs falling in love with each other in a museum (inspired by a real historical case of the wrong skull being on a skeleton -- and god, that one has a hilarious IRL story attached to it) and a pet shop full of the ghosts of animals longing for companionship and grim reapers grappling with life and death and forbidden love. Mann I loved writing those.

And honestly??? I could write entire posts about any of the fics I'm talking about here. I love them, especially the ones that weren't really loved by anyone else. Hell, I'm turning that pet shop into an extended f/f origific right now.

Writing fic for tiny fandoms of one or two for an exchange feels so bittersweet because you can make that person really happy (and, not to toot my own horn, but I tend to make recipients really happy in exchanges) but it just kind of... fades away. Those stories sometimes have very short lifespans just because they're really just for one person. It's not a good or bad thing, just the nature of exchanges. I love designing a fic that's tailored to one person's likes, dislikes, and deepest desires. It's so fun for me. But it is kind of sad to see those fics fall by the wayside after. So I have to love them enough to make up for it. haha.

Finally... a fic I adored writing, that absolutely consumed me, and it's for a fandom that is basically nonexistent. I loved going to Meow Wolf's House of Eternal Return and experiencing the work of hundreds of artists all coming together to make something great. I wanted to add my art, too. No one is out here looking for HoER fic, especially not for the pairing I wrote, but like. BOY, if there's any fic I've ever written that's the definition of "I wrote this for me", it's Gnosis.

Anyway, yeah, I've been posting fic on AO3 for *checks* almost 15 years now, so I guess it makes sense that I can't narrow this down to just five, lmao. But I'm also trying not to go on too much.

But seriously, seriously, if anyone wants me to talk more about these fics or any other that I've written, I would be so incredibly happy to give you a play-by-play of what I was thinking, what I was trying to do, what I liked, what I disliked, what I'd change now, what changed me, etc. I think any author would be haha.

But I'll cut this short now!! As for who to tag... honestly, since I read so much fiction for a living these days, I don't really read fanfic anymore. I'm not sure who I follow writes it anymore. I have most fic tags filtered, being real with you. So... how about this. If you are a writer and you want me to tag you, just lmk!!! And I will send you the message.

#ask games #writing liveblogging

[bubblegum-blackwood]

For the fic writer game!

😈🧐❌️✅️

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

Not that I can think of? I don't know lmao

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

I would say it depends on the fic. Something that's more heavily based off of/around a canon event, like In You I Taste God or Killing Loneliness or The Angry God, I'll go back and read whatever parts of whatever books I think are relevant in order to craft the story, but for others I just pull it out of my ass lmao. Sometimes I look up random things like if I want to double-check the flora and fauna of the setting or am unsure about certain terms (mainly anatomical lol) or processes. But for the most part I just plan and write.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I'm not going to definitively answer this question with a trope.

Because just about a year ago I would have told you I was never ever going to write fanfiction under any circumstances, and, well, here I am, so nothing is certain, and you never know what might happen.

Like I don't really forsee myself ever writing in the omegaverse, if you'd consider that a trope? But I'm not going to say I will never ever do that because I've proven myself wrong time and time again almost every time I said I would definitively never write a certain type of content lmao. So I may end up doing that some day, we'll see what happens though

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Marius's lovers sitting in his lap he's just cuddle-shaped okay???

ALSO MARIUS IN THE BATH 😭 it's like a kink of mine that I didn't know I had or something lmao, I've done it with Daniel in Bath Bombs, with Armand in The Anointed, with both Daniel and Armand MORE THAN ONCE EACH in the yet-to-be-published sequel to Teacher's Pet, Angel of Music - I think I'm discovering something about myself here i9u8y7t6r5dsetdx

If y'all keep enabling me I'll just keep putting Marius with all his different lovers in the bath one by one lmao

#thank youuu! #ask game #vc

[quitefair]

Fanfiction Writer Questions!

Was tagged by the very lovely @optiwashere some time ago, and I've only just had the chance to sit down and take a crack at this!

Not gonna tag anybody, but if you read this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

(Also this is talking about a lot of fics that I've written but not published because well... that's just how it's been lmao...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13 at the moment. I’ve deleted a few things that I’m not entirely proud of/works that I’m planning on rewriting and improving upon.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

26,031 (my WIP folder has almost 100k words, if we want any comparison)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Dragon Age! Although AO3 is misleading… I’ve only got 7 fics on there for Dragon Age. But these don’t include the ones I’ve deleted and also the literal hundreds of WIP documents in my writing folder. It’s become quite a problem. I’ve also been writing for Baldur’s Gate 3 a bit more recently, but those fics are on hold because of lack of time/motivation/the fact I’ve not finished the game yet and want to do my research and understand characterisation and plot better.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. a lesson in grief (T-rated, Vi/Caitlyn from Arcane) 2. slip away (G-rated Gen-fic from Hades 2020) 3. Names (G-rated Fenris/Female Hawke from Dragon Age) 4. Anxious Grief (T-rated, Cassandra Pentaghast/Male Cadash from Dragon Age) 5. Fear and Forgiveness (G-rated, Dorian Pavus/Male Adaar from Dragon Age)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! Every single comment I get is like fuel to my brain so I love and appreciate each one!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think I did toy around with a fic where I left Hawke in the Fade. The process of getting into Fenris’ headspace during that was way too painful for me to continue.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics tend towards happy endings, even if they pack a lot of angst in the body of em. Of the ones I’ve got published, I’d say Names.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven’t, but then again I post so rarely and sporadically so people forget I even exist huhu.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

… Yes… (and that’s all im gonna say)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I’ve not written crossovers per se, I’m more of an AU kinda guy. Though there’s definitely an ancient story I wrote back when I was like 13 that had like, every single bit of media I’d ever loved merged into one, and the excuse was that I’d just read His Dark Materials and wanted my own universe where everything I loved existed at once. COMPLETELY self-indulgent shit.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know…

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! At least not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Again no… I’ve not done a lot of stuff huhu!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

It’s the one and only. The girls that live rent free in my head. The girls that deserve everything. (It’s Josephine Montilyet/my Inquisitor from Dragon Age Inquisition)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It’s the Dragon Age Inquisition rewrite I’ve been complaining about for the longest time. It’s become the pet project I keep poking at whenever I have the energy to. All my Tashak/Josephine fics are set within this, and honestly at this point, instead of making one large fic, I might as well just post the disjointed chapters separately even if they don’t make sense. I’ve got WIPs in the folder from 2016. It’s out of control.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d like to think I’m good at descriptive writing, at drawing the reader into the scene and pulling them along with the story.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m so bad at dialogue it’s not even funny. Also, my writing can tend towards too much rambling – I guess that’s just because it’s the way my brain works.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

The only other language I’m fluent in is Malay, and I really can’t imagine myself writing in that unless in very specific circumstances.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dang, I think it was probably for BIONICLE. Way back when I was like, in secondary school.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Published? Names. There’s stuff in there I still feel jealous of, even today. Unpublished – a bunch of stuff for Aforementioned Dragon Age Rewrite. I should really post stuff from there at some point LMAO…

#meera talks #my writing #WAHOO ive been in a good mood and sorting out my writing folders...... its been getting me excited to publish stuff again #whether or not if happens.... we'll see!

[yakool-foolio]

this is just a loser finding ways to partially vent but my story it's cringe, undeniably funny, and related to Danganronpa in ways So, uh yeah, if you want to read that'd be nice but if not I understand. When I say Danganronpa is the most impactful media I've ever consumed in my entire life I'm not joking.

I got into Danganronpa after GameGrumps played the first game in 2020, when they finished it I loved it so much I went on to watch someone else play Danganronpa 2. At the time my life was pretty awful, I was sort of becoming numb emotionally everything felt the same day after day, and it's stupid, but when Nagito Komaeda made me feel something after feeling so numb during that time I kind of got obsessed. It was so bad not only did I make myself so much lonelier, but I had to research hyper fixations to know I wasn't insane. So you could say Nagito caused me learning and acknowledging i'm autistic! Which sounds like a big impact until you hear the biggest one.

It was 2021 now, I was still obsessing over Nagito Komaeda and the fixation was so bad that I joined the fandom early before playing v3, Danganronpa on the Nintendo Switch was announced and I was eager and excited so I looked up a ton of reactions on Youtube. A day later Youtube recommended me a live stream, two guys were just joking and playing Danganronpa. My humor was changing but I knew that I laughed at their streams and videos so I stayed, I watched every stream I could and every video uploaded. Eventually I joined their Discord Server, I edit videos so after a while I asked the main owner of the channel for advice on videos and such, and then we bonded over some videos and songs like the v3 hated by life itself animation. After that I always thought of something to text to him every day, as a matter of fact we talked so much that I became behind on School because I'd be talking to him instead. After a while we started calling every day, and then we started face timing, and after that he had confessed to me. At the time I wasn't sure about my sexuality and I had repressed any attraction I felt for anyone out of "respect" So when he confessed to me I was able to think about it finally. It took me 3 days to think about my life and myself and I said yes and we started dating. We met in person 2 times, and dated for 2 years before he broke up with me a few months ago just because life has been hectic I suppose. The channel doesn't have any of its videos public anymore, the server is somehow barely alive for now despite one of the owners already leaving and the other just not talking much, and basically anything that came from all of it no one will know about other than the small group of mutuals that keep in touch and me making these. Most of those mutuals still don't even know that we ever dated. The channel is Emigc btw I think the only thing ever left public is someone reacting to a video he made on Danganronpa S.

anyway boohoo story sad ending but yeah that's how Nagito Komaeda helped me experience my first romantic love and know that i'm autistic, that's it. he's still funnily enough one of my favorite characters of all time i'm normal about him now at the very least Lmao. I finally got into Rain Code after the breakup since I got it for Christmas and it's stupid but it really does feel like the next step? if that makes sense? Danganronpa was the impact to my life, Rain Code is what I'm loving in the aftermath of what Danganronpa has done to my life. I honestly have loved Rain Code somehow even more than I loved Danganronpa, maybe not to the insane extent of Nagito though Lmao. Oh yeah, I also completely skipped over how Danganronpa helped me bond even more with my best friend who feels like a brother to me now but this is already long enough! I've just been making messages about what happened because those were the happiest years of my life and I miss it.

thanks for reading if you did

Goes to show that media really does have a grand effect on our daily lives. From my personal experience, I wouldn't have met any of my friend group, aptly named Ding Dong Bing Bong, without Danganronpa. Long story short, I started playing the first game after watching Game Grumps' playthrough of the 2nd game (and proceeded to spoil myself about the entire trilogy), and I did so in a Discord server. Someone ended up joining me during the start of the prologue, and we shared in voicing the characters. After a few days, another person joined, then another, then another. And now we're a tight huddle of ten after more than a year of playing games together!

It's interesting to hear how the Dangan series, Rain Code, and other media has affected other people as well. Meeting new people, discovering new things about ourselves, and watering our creative roots! Looking back on the moments can boost our spirits, too! I hope the future bodes well for you as you continue to enjoy your interests!

#i'll keep this on the down-low since it's the anon's personal story #if the anon wants me to delete this so its totally private i will respect their wishes #its cool to hear about the extensive histories people have with media they love #i have many stories of my own but ill save those for a rainy day #which could be any day really

[ghost-town-story]

Hello and welcome to the thing I've been excited to do since July, aka holy fuck CoFaS is 10 years old now

So a few years ago, I went and reread the very first story I ever wrote and it was....... a fuckin time. So when I realized CoFaS was turning a decade this year, I thought it would be fun to do the same thing (reread and comment in a tumblr post as I go), but taking one piece of advice from the last time I did this.

Aka this is gonna be a drinking game lol

The rules are simple: 1. Drink whenever I cringe 2. Drink whenever the nickname "kitten" is used to blatantly pad the word count (because I do remember that is exactly the way I got to 50,006 words that year lol)

So, I've got my emotional support bottle of wine, some snacks, a sleepy kitty, and the old doc pulled up. Les go.

A quick aside, this is the reason why it's an emotional support bottle of wine:

A gift from a while ago from somebody who knows I go by Starlight online :D

Alright, les go

And immediately gonna pour one out for the awful age gap we have here. Blah blah blah, not all age gaps are bad, but considering Aiden starts out 11 and James is 19........ *takes a big fuckin drink*

At least the wine is good lol

Ah yes, establishing from the very first line that CoFaS is peak "Aiden gets hurt/traumatized and I'm having fun doing it"

I'm also counting moments where I just pause and start laughing bc oh god what is this description as cringing lol but yeah Aiden and Sirius had the most awkward relationship to write for the longest time and it really wasn't until pretty recently that I actually started to nail it down and it stopped being so gotdamn awkward

Also right now there's literally no plot. Ok to be fair there's no overarching plot of CoFaS other than "snippets of Aiden's life" but there are arcs usually but. We're three chapter/scenes in and there's not even an arc going right now. It's just. setting up characterization I guess?

Also lmao at my worldbuilding. In my defense I was what, 15 and in the middle of high school shit? learning how to write on the fly? not gonna hold it against tiny me but I'm still gonna smh

Yeah this age gap is not sitting well with me anymore. Not at fuckin all Do I want James and Aiden to be cute together? hell yeah would I rather James be like..... 14 in this scene rather than 20? hell yeah

Look I understand I wanted to show the traumatic event *sparkle sparkle* but I just. That's not how flashback dreams work at all *source: mild amounts of research I've done since then. Also the fact that I doubt he would remember shit with so much clarity from when he was two and passed out for part of it

One credit I will give to past me here though, I still don't know if that's actually how two-year-olds act lmao

Okay so at least part of this is gonna be me reading shit and going "lmao that's not how it works anymore!" scene: Aiden wakes up from a nightmare, wants his dad to comfort him how it would go now: wakes up from nightmare, will absolutely refuse to tell anybody about it except maybe James or Lexi. And only if they heard him wake up Sorry Aid, you have daddy issues now lol (and mommy issues. More of those tbh)

Okay I'm so fucking glad I scrapped that bit of worldbuilding bc why??? would only 1 of the 4 nations have a special name????? that allows others to control them????????

James you are 20 and he's 12 do not darling him

Also lmao at the number of times I describe somebody by their age rather than ya know. their fuckin name

Also we still have not had any arc that lasts more than 2 scenes and we're on page 4. On one hand: yeah fair writing fun offhand scenes is still a thing I do. On the other: I posted this to Figment oh my god. Anybody expecting a coherent story just gets this fuckin. mess What the fuck did I even put for the summary on Figment? I hope it was something that explained "hey this is a gotdamned mess with no overarching plot other than Aiden's life" lol

RIP Figment. You were the real one and I simultaneously mourn your loss and am glad you don't exist anymore cause I don't want people reading my old stuff but I wouldn't have the heart to delete it myself

Anyways I literally just said that and we reached an arc that has at least 3 scenes!

Oh no I spooped my cat cause of my laughing this one caused by the fact that I never fuckin specify how healing works at all. Just that it works enough to cause the maximum amount of whump I guess. That may not be the right word but bruh I am nearly through a glass of wine by now lol

babby Aiden is babby. and mildly a mood lmao

James, you need to stop fuckin flirting with a 12 year old one day I'll stop yelling about this. that'll be when Aiden is actually old/mature enough to be flirted with

“Dad’s not really the comforting type.” THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK FOR HIM 3-4 CHAPTERS AGO????

this age gap shenanigans is gonna give me an aneurysm i swear and i don't know if it's better or worse that Sirius is endorsing these shenanigans

Alright kitty has woken up and says it's break time so i'm making this a mandatory "go bury your face in nearby fluff and regain sanity from this nonsense" moment

Alright, had my break for snaccs and arguing about whether or not I'll be sober in 36-48 hours (long story), time to get back into the shenanigans also we're on page 5/77 and i'm about 1/3 through the wine. hence why the questions of sobriety in time for dnd sunday. anyhoot

AND IMMEDIATELY INTO THE WARRIOR CATS SCENE

okay so like. ya i was a warrior cats kid sue me lmao. so this next fucking scene (or maybe the next next there might be a leadup scene) is basically me going "i want the clan leaders meeting!" and having absolutely 0 justification otherwise. so ya. it is entirely for drama and to introduce "hey lookie all these other elementals none of whom we care about except for kinda Flame!" (and now I care a lot about Water too. Rip fuckin Earth lmao)

and another drink for fuckin what the fuck descriptions

yeah okay this bit of dialogue basically hits the nail of why i fucking hate the fuckin special name for Flame thingy. just a la "don't use that name." "it's your middle name deal with it" and like, Sirius is not meant to be seen as an abusive father! neglectful, kinda yeah. absolutely Does Not know how to talk/relate to his kid? abso-fuckin-lutely. full on abusive? no. but that bit of dialogue veers into sketchy/abuse territory and i don't like it

thank you to Lexi for interrupting this round of "James stop fucking flirting with a young teenager when you're 21"

I seriously don't think I actually named Sirius until this point, 7 whole pages in some mild clarification, I write in wall of text style. this current scene is 2 pages long with no proper paragraph breaks so. yeah

Ah yes. another thing that's different now, Fintan's entire characterization lol

you know, I'm just staring at this scene like "this would be a great set up for some plot" but at the same time I know that this is it. It's this fight and then these wolves are never showing up again. guess they got beat up in one fight! cool beans!

Kiddo you're way too alert for somebody who's hovering on the edge of consciousness lmao

For once we have some James characterization that I still like! aka he's a dumbass more concerned with other people's (in this case Will's) health than his own!

Oh god I posted this scene on the NaNo website as a snippet from the story. And I can tell you with 100% certainty that this fuckin scene was inspired by the Kingdom Keepers series (that I haven't read any of since like, 2013 probably lmao)

Oh yeah! this was when Will had selective mutism! but also. Aiden, James is periodically flirting with you and hanging out with you a ton. How do you not know this world's equivalent of sign language by now lol

Look, I still absolutely fuckin love dragons, but I just.... why here?? especially since I'm 90% sure they're never mentioned again??????

Okay, so I may have fallen asleep after only 10 pages, but in my defense I was tired from work/shit sleep schedule, and half a bottle of wine Did Not help lol. Anyways, onto day 2 and the rest of this scene (and arc if I remember correctly)

Lexi is a menace and a treasure and I gotdamned love her lol. I'm making it official she's the saving grace of 2013 CoFaS and we're not gonna talk about what happens to her yet

Oh Will you sweet awkward not-yet-a-sassy-sarcastic-bitch of a child <3

And again. Would much rather James be like, 15/16 in this scene than fuckin 21

I lied. There's one more scene to finish out this arc whoops lol

Again with the fuckin out-of-body experiences to show important plot points. like bitch just change perspectives you're gonna do it later anyways!

Two things I love *sarcasm* about this 1. I did no editing even when posting this to Figment. I coulda gone back and just made this random nameless healer Seren, but nooooooo Did Not think about that until now probably 2. Logically, why the fuck is James in this scene? Boi is getting invited to shenanigans he should not realistically be invited to lol

I like how I can recognize which arc this is from Sirius's first line bad news: I dislike this arc for many reasons now. tldr don't like it cause of compulsory/systematic heteronormativity, forced/arranged marriage of a goddamn 14 year old, more sketch age gaps (tho 5 years is better than the James/Aiden gap of 8), and the fact that I 100% fridged Lexi cause said systematic heteronormativity made her get in the way of my ship.

Anyways Sirius and Aiden interactions are still so awkward and ngl, I'm looking forward to [redacted unless you know of the CoFaS rewrite] bc it'll mean the end of the awkwardness

And James is immediately jealous. It would be kinda cute in an angsty way if he wasn't 22 (to clarify, jealous but trying to hide it cause he ain't gonna fuck up his sister's and best friend's "happiness")

Protective older brother speech? yeah okay questioning Aiden about if he actually loves Lexi? okay back off ma dude (also fun aside: my oldest brother "threatened" both of my exes while I was dating them. Cyrus was terrified of him for basically the rest of the time I knew him. Screw went "lol bet". So while these incidents were still a few years off for 2013 me, yeah I can see what inspired James's speech here lol)

OH MY GOD JAMES THAT'S HOW YOU GET EXECUTED FOR REGICIDE FUCKIN HELL

also lmao at the tiny-me not swearing bits

oh look, a perspective shift! wonder why I didn't use that earlier *deadpan stare*

Okay James is being a solid angsty drama queen this entire scene, which fair angst whatever but I gotta object to one thing and that is I don't really think losing your wings and watching someone you love marry your sister are really comparable here dude

also bud have you even asked Lexi if she loves Aiden or are you just assuming this is a marriage of convenience from all sides? (I sincerely don't know the answer for 2013 CoFaS. The answer for rewrite is yes love all around baybe)

heh, telepathy is just ported over from the OG universe just cuz

This also might've been the origin for Will calling her Lex and James calling her Lexi. Maybe. It's quite possible.

Oh James. You're such an overdramatic pining asshole lol

And that wedding scene is making me honestly contemplate finishing my glass of wine except it's a bit too full but several drinks are in order cause 1. No idea (then and now tbh) how "typical" weddings work 2. more broody jealous James 3. the knowledge of the gotdamn fridging to come 4. oh yeah the middle name shenanigans as well

oh and we immediately skip straight to the fridging! okay! goddamn! no goddamn martial bliss scenes for these two! nope just immediate "yeah Lexi's dying now" god I feel so bad for Lexi in this

Yeah okay maybe it's the fact that I'm a slut for angst but this scene was.... pretty good? like

Aiden let out a sound that was almost a hiccup, and he bit his lower lip hard to prevent any more sound from escaping.

goddamn that's a line I'd still use now tbh is the scene perfect? no Is it the best thing I've read so far of CoFaS? probably

also fun fact this is Alec's first appearance as a character. And it's the reason why in Band AU/basically anywhere else he appears he dyes his hair burgundy, cause that's his hair color in CoFaS. Callbacks yo

James. James now is not the fucking time. have some gotdamn respect for Lexi and stahp

I think this scene is gonna finish off my emotional support wine. We've got James flirting at inappropriate times! We've got awkward af Sirius trying to be a good dad! We've got more James flirting! and being mildly manipulative! fuckin hell!

Ya okay I know I like drama but this shit is hella toxic

Look I have no idea how old Aiden is right now but I'm gonna solidly say he's still too young for you to darling him James especially right after that emotional rollercoaster you put him through

"'If you're jealous,' [James said]" I'm sorry sir who's the jealous one in this relationship cause I'm pretty damn sure it ain't Aiden

Oh my god Aiden is 16. For fuck's sake man

"As James approached his room, which he rarely used now, and Aiden’s, which he was in far too often to be proper," I'm not giving y'all the end of this line but I like it lol

Yeah this is. definitely a sign of how I've changed over the years past-me: doesn't like unhappy endings at all, therefore *magically* gives Aiden his wings back bc it'd be too sad if he didn't have them now-me: BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY BAYBE (aka he has stumps of wings and they never grow back. just enough for tattered feathers and bitter reminders)

and Awkward Sirius makes an immediate reappearance! and like, cool, you're cool with your son being gay, but maybe you should be having an issue with the fact that he's 16 and James is 24 ffs

“[Dumb] names have power.” “I know. You tend to use mine a lot when I’m being unruly.” I! Hate! This! Worldbuilding! Thank Fuck It's Scrapped!!

Wait. Wait wait wait. so whoever gives them the dumb name-- actually fuckit i'm too tipsy again to explain this I'll just quote the snippet

It’s not just the name itself that has power, but who gives it to him. For example, if your mother had been the one to give you your [dumb] name, then you would have been loyal to her, even at the cost of your wings.

THEN WHO DID ACTUALLY GIVE AIDEN HIS NAME???? I'd assume it'd have to be a Person of Flame due to ya know. It being a Flame thing but like. Then who??? Fintan????? some rando????? not Ashton cause he wasn't born yet (at least in redone canon but still they're close enough in age that he would have been unborn or babby af) but. who the fuck gave Aiden his name then?????????????? We don't get a fuckin answer and I'm not sure I ever had one!!!!

so sometimes I have to laugh cause otherwise i'd have to scream "what the fuck" at this and i have neighbors and it's currently 10 pm and I like to have the moral high ground thank you very much (over their dumbass yappy dog who barks at 1 am sometimes) but anyhoot I start laughing and woke up my kitty so while she bullies me I'm implementing another "bury face in the fluff and maybe get a snacc" break

Alright have gotten some snaccs again, bullied nats for a bit (<3), discovered that bubbly pink moscato is sadly Not It and broke out the second, non-emotional-support bottle of rosé. Time to continue Also we're now 22 pages in. we're doin great lol

they're married now and i'm still smh at how fuckin young Aiden is for this relationship. goddamn I like how I aged Aiden up for all of the main tragedies but I made them hit way fuckin harder in the rewrite. (he's 16/17 in original, ~20 if i remember correctly in rewrite) (also 2 vs 8/10? for wings)

Ah yes, an actually reoccurring antagonist: humanity :P

also yeah baby me did not like the thought of her uwu-baby characters actually killing people. p sure I made the faceless waves of enemies in the OG story robots for that purpose, and now James is just knocking people out cause he don't wanna kill how the fuck did he get promoted to head guard at this rate Sirius what the fuck is the state of your guards Do I think irl murder is bad? yes! do I think that characters and stories are a different matter and there's a lotta nuance! also yes! is this shit that may get me "cancelled"? probably!! but fuckin hell rené's arc in the superhero wip is gonna cause that anyways!

meanwhile I'm pretty sure Will just electrocuted like at least a dozen people and I'm fine with that XD "unconscious from electrocution" now I'm not doctor and I don't want to concern my dad by texting him "hey if you get electrocuted is it 100% chance of death or like 50/50 between death and unconsciousness?" and my selo (med student) is probably asleep by now, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say if they're unconscious, they're probably pretty dang close to death *take everything said just above with a grain of salt. again, i'm not a doctor, i'm tipsy, and i don't feel like googling this shit lol

Okay I distinctly remember this bit was inspired by this series I read called Eon/Eona? specifically the part where the emperor had the necklace of his position sewn to his throat. pretty fuckin metal for it to stick with me better than the title of the books lmao. But yeah. That's where the initial idea of the leaders' "necklaces" came from

James is once again a dumbass about his own health in favor of worrying about others! (this time Aiden)

90% sure this isn't how the medical side of this works

seriously why can't the kid have a sedative or three lol

and some potential gross medical negligence here but hey, who's counting! what doctors are gonna read this shit! (maybe selo, if she read the original while it was up on Figment lol but that was well before she was a med student)

absolutely not the point but something got corrupted somewhere in the what, 4 computer swaps since this was written? and now there's just a random "emoji error" box at the end of this paragraph and I don't know why lol cause I swear I never put emojis of any sort in my official writing (except for stuff that was explicitly characters texting) and definitely not at the end of the paragraph where Aiden's about to go to his father's funeral

ok it wasn't technically medical negligence cause James basically discharged himself against medical advice/medical attempts to keep him in bed lol

I am fairly certain that unless Alec is on a chair right now, that action should be impossible without Aiden leaning/crouching down, except I just say "reach". ffs and Aiden's definitely standing so i really dunno lol

Yeah I just couldn't write formal ceremony stuff for shit lol

There's so much going on that I'm just like. man. what the fuck. so much drama. so much sketchy stuff happening in the name of "i love you"

oh it's mild flashback time to a different POV okay lol

okay so. James. how do you not know about Aiden's fire powers? bc again. known each other for basically Aiden's whole life and also. pretty sure Aiden saved James's life earlier with them (but i don't remember cause i was tipsy when I read that last night and I don't wanna backtrack lol)

okay again. I have no idea how two-year-olds work. but i get the feeling this is...... not quite right?

Whump time!!

ah yes, overprotective James

yeah for the most part that wasn't bad until the last fuckin bit. You know, Sirius may be dead now but I think Fintan decided he was immediately going to step into the role of "awkward father figure" for Aiden smh

whump whump!!

ah yes, the ol' "christianity apparently exists in this universe cause i'm very raised catholic!"

babby Alec!!!! again not sure if I'm writing him right for a two year old but I don't care right now it's babby Alec and Ryder! (oh yeah Ryder is also originally from CoFaS lol)

"I'm Sky. Look I'll show you my dad is Sky." Alec honey you have wings that's proof enough that you're at least part Sky oh now you mention the wings! smh child

okay it's official Alec and Ryder are carrying the story with their cuteness cause I don't have to facepalm every time they flirt (when they're older) cause they're actually close to the same age! no sketch ass age gaps here!!

lmao Ashton's first bit of actual characterization. He's not bad as a character, just... underutilized probably

Alanna-now-Laguna! now the babbiest of babbies now that Alec's eight

but good news I think we're at the age where I can reluctantly be okay with the Aiden/James relationship.

oh yeah! I didn't exactly forget but I definitely got surprised by the revelation that Aiden's mother and the guy who helped cut off his wings were actually married

Okay actually I wanna outline what the fuck is happening a la Ashley (Aiden's mother, gonna be renamed like Ashton), Sirius, nameless guy, and Ashton (at least in the rewrite version, though 2013 was mostly similar) so. Ashley and nameless guy are married for love. partners in crime and all that jazz Sirius has a mild crush on Ashley since basically he's a teenager, but due to unspecified war between the Sky and Flame, obviously does not act on that until his father dies and Sirius goes "hey Fintan. Wanna end this war and do political marriage stuff wink wink" So, (this is specifically rewrite lore), they get married, with the stipulation that their first child will be the heir to the Sky, and their second will be heir to Flame, as at the time Ashley was Fintan's only child and therefore the heir to Flame. Ashley is Not Happy, but since marriage to nameless guy was basically secret shotgun wedding, Fintan doesn't know and she doesn't want to tell him about it. Plus, she's like "nah let's keep going with this war stuff I kinda hate Sky." well due to political shenanigans she gets strongarmed into the political marriage, but she and nameless dude conspire that okay, if she has to do this, then she's gonna take down the Sky Kingdom from the inside, using her child the heir of the Sky (Aiden) She refuses to have a second child, which Fintan catches onto after a while, and either planned or a happy accident, Ashton is born and declared the heir of Flame Ashley then kidnaps Aiden once his wings grow and cuts them off so he'll look a better Flame puppet, things backfire and she gets caught and imprisoned for that, with nameless guy slipping free of justice

and apparently in the 2013 version Ashley and nameless guy planned to kill off Sirius if Aiden was born Flame, and when he was born Sky they cut off his wings basically out of spite so there's that, and also planned to throw Ashley under the bus for cutting off Aiden's wings so nameless guy could keep their evil plans going.

also apparently I used to not be consistent whether I used Sky or Air. Cause Aiden's referred to as a Child of Air here, but in the title it's very specifically Child of Flame and Sky, and I've definitely standardized it to be the Sky by now

Aiden honey it's the simplest fucking code and Fintan practically gave it to you I'm begging you to be smart honey no Fintan has to be explicit before Aiden gets it okay *disappointed sigh in my blorbo*

and again with the knocking people out, not killing them shenanigans lol

whump and trauma time!!

damn that's gotta be not hygienic, an operating table stained with blood that's about 2 decades old

that's called a concussion my dear Aiden <3

yeah okay that's some fuckin racism right there (to be fair, framed as a bad thing, but still. sheesh)

another cat break. she's very pretty and purrsuasive what can i say?

James, honey, I understand what you're going for, but this is a shit way to comfort your very traumatized husband right now

okay and immediate 180 into cute teenage Alec and Ryder shenanigans, okay lol

Alec you wannabe-suave motherfucker lol

Ryder: blushes red Me: but his blood is blue!! And if it's later in this version that I mention James blushing blue or something like that I'm gonna take a drink for this mistake. I know I def fixed that by like, the rewrite lol

Ah yes, Alec is taking after his uncle :P aka please honey, I know you're being romantic, but get a fucking yes outta him first before you start kissing him also I'm 90% sure I've swapped their personalities now lol like CoFaS Alec: wannabe-suave and flirty CoFaS Ryder: awkward, unsure of how to react Band AU Alec: unsure of how to react when cute boy flirts with him Band AU Ryder: friendly and outgoing and willing to flirt with cute boys

Okay he did get a yes this time so baby steps in the right direction!

goddamn nerds lol

Okay this is both a. the origins of the kitten nickname for Aiden and b. the origins of the fox association i sometimes have for Alec

"The cat didn't answer, being a cat" I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

do do do do do WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY? Alec: the fox says fuck off (I have that as a reoccurring joke between Alex and Jason. Cause Jason's a fox shapeshifter in OG/ASTHC canon and they are my 2013-2015 meme children)

Yeah I definitely swapped who's the more uuuuuh... dom is the best word I can think of in this relationship

lmao somehow despite knowing Alec since they were both ~2 Ryder somehow doesn't know that's a nickname

Also, Alec having premonitions of the future is what inspired Lexi in the rewrite to have them as well. Alec inherits a decent amount from his mother: her premonitions, her purple-tipped wings, I can't think of more rn lol

Okay I do like describing Alec as ashen because. He looks more Flame than Sky lol

Aiden no stop that that's shitty parenting!

and Alec has a very valid reaction to Aiden and then Ryder continually using his dumb name! good for you Alec! "I would have never told you if I knew you would abuse it like this!" Ah. see this? this hurts in an "Alec honey you're so fucking right" way

Ryder that's real fuckin shit of you to be like "ok come here I'll comfort you" only to immediately turn around and try and control your boyfriend again. I know you have orders from his dad, but that's still really fuckin shit of you dude luckily Alec has the proper response of slapping Ryder and calling him out on his bullshit

i like how outta all the characters, Ryder is the one who has no restrictions on killing people. At the beginning of this arc he was introduced as training with James to be part of the royal guard, and now like 3/4 scenes later he's just straight up killed at least 2 people on screen. goddamn ma boi

“Knife training 101,” he said, almost irritated. “Stab them, don’t get stabbed yourself, try to aim for the head or heart. Understand?” fuckin lmao

welcome to the trauma boat Alec! your dad will help you get acquainted. probably

hello deus-ex-machina my old friend, you've probably appeared before but this is the most blatant to me

You know, the thought just occurred to me: Sirius with Aiden: kingly duties come before parental duties Aiden: yeah that sounds about right Aiden with Alec: Parental duties come before kingly duties Alec: you have king stuff to do and that obviously takes precedence over me

That line is a goddamn quote and I don't remember from what book potentially a Shadowhunters book??? update I looked it up and the answer is yes and of course it's a malec quote lol i'm still fucking soft for malec despite not having read any shadowhunters books since high school let me live (fun aside: i got selo to read those books and she came to tennis practice and yelled across the court "WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ALL THE INCEST" and i just died laughing and told her to wait for whatever the book was (CoG, if I remember correctly is when the incest is revealed to not be incest. not that I cared that was/is my least favorite ship) ANYHOOT)

yeah okay that whole bit is making me laugh harder than it should. curse you wine lol

anyways this was 100% the origin of Willow and Wisp before I coopted them for Nova!

oh my fucking god so the chapter that was origins of Aiden = cat and Alec = fox apparently was added later, potentially near the end of that NaNo. You know how I know that? cause I remember having to edit this scene for continuity and it's still awkward as hell!

poor babby Alec. he's doin his best and also nobody has told him "hey your boyfriend's alive" yet

god Rowan is just. a fuckin cardboard cutout of a character. he has no personality beyond what's necessary in the moment

Aiden this is not the way to deal with your son grieving his boyfriend just fuckin tell him ffs

I do appreciate Aiden just full naming Alec and not dumb naming him when he's like "Alec stop doing the dumb thing you're doing"

more Aiden whump! and cute Alec and Ryder reunion dawww

"Aiden was struggling for something to distract him from the pain, to distract his mind from the fact that his entire forearm was cut open and the skin peeled away for wires." goddamn my dude. you're really having a rough time aren't you lol

Oh my god I just shifted POV in the middle of a scene goddamnit

sir i really doubt you could avoid a gunshot at basically point blank range lol

And at this point, I fucked up bc Alec escaped in the last scene, and then I had him fighting alongside Ryder in this scene until I remembered continuity is a thing and went back to fix it lol

James sir water is not a softer landing than sand, especially from high up lol

oh my god i remember that i was gonna make that a thing throughout all my universes, and then i never did except for maybe the original OG James and Aiden story that got scrapped XD

and another pov shift in the middle of a scene smh

they are both such stubborn bastards omg

yeah of course they've been happy too long we've gotta add the misunderstandings plot in :P

Ah yes some good ol' fashioned sexism :P

yaas bois communicate like the fuckin adults you are

oh those nerds

so we're winding up the "story" which means major time skips now!

oh this is..... not the best way to kill off a character, but hey, i guess i wanted to get one last stab in at Aiden huh?

good lord that was...... something. later chapters were better than earlier ones, though that may have been because the level of tipsiness was higher lmao. but also I just like drama more and the early chapters were a lot more awkward setting up shit while later ones were "hey have actual situations with consequences!" if that makes any sense. If not, that's cool, i'm hella tipsy anyways

anyhoot, kudos to past me for doing that while being in high school + doing theater (pretty sure we were close to if not putting on a show during november) + finding time to binge watch Sword Art Online + all the shenanigans required of being a functional member of the family. I have no idea what I was on during high school but gotdamn would I like a hit or three now lol

So, two nights and 1.5 bottles of wine later, I bid you adieu. have fun, don't die, don't get kidnapped, I'll see y'all with my last couple spotify wrapped prompts soonish and then in February ✌️

#writing #shitposting #specifically: #shitposting. #cofas #ramble ramble

[jaynovz]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @septemberskye 🥰

It took me so long to get round to this I think the whole pirate and sunder fam have already done it 🙈😔😭 ummm please take this as invitation to do it if you see it and want to 💜

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

48. Notably, 19 of those are podfic. 🎙️💪

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 

380,544 💪💪💪

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Mostly Black Sails, but have also written for Cobra Kai, OFMD, and Sunder City/The Fetch Phillips Archives. Will probably write OPLA fic here sometime soon.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 

1. some ancient call, 7k, OFMD. A creature rom com I wrote right after s1. Weird, funny, and sweet.

2. Strike Hard, 4k, Cobra Kai/Karate Kid. LawRusso do the classic fighting to fucking. Baby's first porn in like 6 years to that point. Also written right after s1.

3. in over our heads, 13k, Black Sails. The first fic I wrote for Silverflint, called Flogging Verse because the events play out after Silver is flogged post 2.1 for firing on the warship.

4. don't let me in with no intention to keep me, 7k, Black Sails, nicknamed Petplay. Silver and Flint discover some things about themselves mid s2. Still one of like, hmmm four total petplay fics in the fandom.

5. the sweetest devotion, hitting me like an explosion, 39k, Black Sails, nicknamed Cupcakes AU. A bakery-street performer romcom, the only time I've give the boys a no strings attached happy ending.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

Religiously, lol. And it's because I want to talk about my story! I spent a lot of time on it so I take any chance to ramble more with someone who did me the compliment of reading it.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely hand in unlovable hand aka The Worst Ending. Second place is Hanahaki.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Cupcakes AU 🧁 Generally speaking, if you're looking for unambiguously happy endings, you've come to the wrong place lol. However, if you want a fluff cheat sheet--besides Cupcakes, you can also check out the Soft Verse, Milkingfic, Bellyfic, and the Halloween Corn Maze fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

 Thankfully no 💜

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Lmao indeed. It's part of my Brand at this point. Love to use sex and kink as tools to dissect characters. Altered states my beloved.

What kind is a mix of if something tickles my brain/what the story needs, though you will most always find some amount of powerplay dynamics.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? 

Ummm, back in middle school I wrote some crossovers, but none recently.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not that I am aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Yep. Many of my early offerings to the Black Sails fandom were collabs.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oh You Know... (It's Silverflint)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Black Sails post canon Fix It Fic that started it all. It's just very complex, which is why it was abandoned in the first place. And there are some other factors that just make it untouchable.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Overarching structure/plot beats, poetic language, characterization, conveying emotion, searing hot smut and kink.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Editing full stop. Historical/period accuracy type details. I have to do buckets of research for that kind of stuff. External pressures on the characters. I'm very very good at the zoomed in relationship view, but expanding/getting outside of their heads is not something I've done a lot.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? 

It's fine, as long as there's a story reason for it to be there.

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

InuYasha when I was about twelve years old. Those stories have since fallen into the void.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Break Up AU of course :)))) My baby, my masterpiece, my heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears. I was definitely possessed the year it took to write it.

--

Thanks for tagging me <3

#long post #thoughts #tag game #tag meme

[criminal-sen]

Tagged by @bleachbleachbleach and @mayuris-basement-dweller; took me a while but I finally did it! Also I made it a rainbow cuz I am extra af (solid line is definite YES, dotted line has stipulations)

Yah I was on ff.net but before that, my first fic account was adultfanfiction.net. Think early 2000s lol

I love AO3 so much and am so glad I have an account; it is vastly superior to the other sites I've used and I think a lot of ppl take it for granted

smut/dark fic is all I write:)

Yes I've beta-read quite a bit! If you ever want me to beta-read a fic, just hit me up, I love doing it

That being said, absolutely ZERO of my fics have been beta-read. I am obsessive with my editing (still make mistakes) plus I don't wanna plot spoil for ppl

Fool's Gold was the most overtly self-indulgent but they all are to some degree. I'm not out here posting smut that I don't personally enjoy lmao

Yessss I rarely write fluff so it's refreshing to read sometimes

All my fic is gay because I'm gay

EEEEEE THAT IS A LOADED QUESTION, yes I think ff is just as valid as original fic! Genre is usually defined by the tone and actual content of a story though??? Like okay it contains blorbo but is it drama? romance? horror? See what I mean?

Yes but I usually just do one fandom at a time

dotted line bc I research during the fic, not before

another dotted; technically yes, I love having an outline with chapter summaries! That being said, I'm not using one right now

Yes:)

@seeveekat made me a wonderful art for Imperfect and I love it so so much<3<3<3 (also. not a fanart but @thefearfulheart gifted me a fic of my AFK blorbos which I frequently reread and cherish<3)

Girl (gender neutral) they are ALL unfinished. Aiming to correct that with Imperfect though and I am working SO hard on it

I get ideas at all hours of the day, night included

Any fic written before Sept 7th 2019 was written drunk and/or high:)

COFFEE

Kinda wish Fool's Gold (18 plus plz!!!!!) got more attention here on tumblr but I get it, we're not all trans masc Mayuri fans:/

Okay cool, phew I'm done now. Blank template below if anyone else wants to do it:3

EDIT OMG I FORGOT. TO PUT THE TEMPLATE. here u go jfc

#fanfic

[jackmfvegas777]

How is hormone therapy going? I've considered it myself but I'm nervous about it. Can you tell me a little about what its like? :)

Ah, thank you so much for asking!! I appreciate it!!

Well, the experience is really quite vastly different for every person on HRT.

For me, it was one of the best choices I have ever made in my life. I was hopelessly and horribly dysphoric for my whole life to the point of nearly not being able to function (dysphoria coupled with severe mental illnesses is for sure A Bad Time) and I was lucky enough to be able to get on it fairly early, thank God because I probably would not have lasted longer-apologies for that dark subject but it is necessary to mention for how much it turned my life around entirely.

I am still not fully transitioned to my liking per sé, as the full range of Testosterone's complete effects is a maximum of 5 years according to my research. I have been on it for nearly 2 years now. I plan to be on it for the rest of my life if possible, as I'd like all effects to stay forever-- I fucking ADORE every second of it, honestly I'm not afraid of needles either like most are so I literally get ecstatic & excited every time it's time to inject LOL!! Probably a weird reaction but--it legit makes me wanna throw a party every time those 2 weeks pass & it is time to.

(Not all forms of HRT have to be injected however, though it is the "strongest, most evenly distributed form" especially if done every 2 weeks instead of every 1 week,

as my doctor described it, which made me choose it--and coupled w my lack of giving a shit about injecting lmaoo)

I have had a lot of effects, I am also finally growing actual facial hair which is nice-though I learned I prefer my face clean-shaven or at least mostly, which is a hilarious twist tbh as I thought I'd want a full beard. I'm cool with both but I definitely prefer how I look without, so I shave every now & then currently.

My body looks entirely different, at least my shoulders and arms HELLA, I've had strong asf cis men say I'm built better than them which gives me giggle-fits of pridefulness LMAO--im petty ig--

but anyway to get to the true point--I would not be where I am today or perhaps here at all, myself, if I didn't go on it and exactly when I did. I am so extremely grateful for it occurring and that I have access to it at all--I am honestly hardly feeling dysphoria except on Really Bad days when it still hits me. Even things I should be dysphoric about and was in the past, idgaf about now. My chest barely bothers me now, and used to be my personal Hell. I have even decided to not do top surgery in the future which is... really bizarre as I was DESPERATE for it before (however this most-dysphoria-removal effect seems to be rare, so don't expect it to "cure" dysphoria, it didn't for me either but I'd say reduced it by like 90% or something lol. But most don't have that strong of a reaction)

My advice for you and every trans person on the fence about it, would be do a CRAP TON of research, on its every effect, type, etc. and talk to or read about/etc. as many people you can find who can give their opinions on their own experiences-as everyone has a different story!

If it is a "HELL YES" after that, then definitely go through with it. If there is still doubt, I'd wait. There is no rush as you can always decide to begin in the future

Know though, that if you do start it, but wish to stop later,

in some ways there's a "reset button",

but in some ways there is not.

Some effects will reverse if you stop taking T, like the fat & muscle redistribution, etc.

however some will stay, for example any body or facial hair that develops will then grow forever as the follicle is "activated" (male hair is a different subtype of hair, so once it's made it can't be reversed) and etc.

Be aware of which effects do this, and just in general, get as much information you can gather.

This info-gathering also has the added bonus, of impressing TF out of your endocrinologist if you do happen to choose to go the route of beginning taking it--

During the consultation, they'll ask if you know about it well, and for me, I began on a spiel of the things I knew & how much I researched because I was so excited to begin and how much it would help me.

By my Dr's reaction she was blown away by my very informed decision, that I had thought about it VERY hard, & I think that is what assisted me greatly in acquiring the prescription for it so fast.

Basically, if they either know or just think you are going into this without much context or don't seek it passionately, they think you may change your mind and that you're "going through a phase" or that you can't consent due to not enough information that you know on it for such a majour medical decision.

If you come in confident asf that this is what you need, and you're like "Yeah I know this, I got this shit locked down" they know they're dealing with someone who is very damn sure this is the path they need, and thus the doctor doesn't have to worry nor explain more, which speeds everything up.

Overall, I will end this by saying I wish you the utmost good luck, and that whatever path you choose, you feel happy and gender-euphoric!! Thank you for asking my advice & I hope I helped in any way!! 👍👍💜🏳️‍⚧️

(ALSO I SEE UR USERNAME MMMMMNN YES, SOMEONE WITH QUALITY TASTE IN CHARACTERS--LMAOOO SRRY IM A SHAMELESS WILLIAM FANATIC, I GOTTA MENTION THAT

UR USERNAME MADE ME LEGIT SMILE-- HAHDJGNGJGJGJG)

#trans guy tips #transguytips #transgender #trans #transgender guy #trans guy #transgender man #trans man #transgender male #trans male #ftm #ftm trans #transgender ftm #HRT #ftm hrt #transition #gender transition #hormone replacement treatment #hormone replacement therapy #hormone replacement #testosterone #testosterone hrt #advice #transgender advice #trans advice #lgbtqia #lgbtqa #lgbtq #lgbt #queer

[thatwouldbee-enough]

😅🎢🎶🛠⛔🌞❌💲🧐🎃🦅👀🤗💞🤲😬⌛ anyfandom!

Ahhhh thank you so much for this! Sorry it took a while there were so many to answer <3

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

Anything from the very very early days of my AO3 account lol. They weren't bad but there's definitely so many things when I go back and read them where I would write things a lot differently now

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Oh man. Interpreting wildest ride in two different ways here.

1 (craziest/most disturbing): Let Me Crawl Up Into Your Mind

2 (wild ride plot-wise): Fate and the Fall

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Yes!!! Some songs from recent writing playlists:

this is me trying by Taylor Swift

The Cause by Tommy Lefroy

Paul Revere by Noah Kahan

reckless driving by Lizzy McAlpine

Letter to an Old Poet by boygenius

Partners in Crime by FINNEAS

tolerate it by Taylor Swift

Colorado by Renee Rapp

You Could Start a Cult by Niall Horan w/Lizzy McAlpine

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

So many 😬

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

Honestly either early in the morning right after I wake up or middle of the night lmao. Middle of the night has given me some of my best writing for real but at what cost

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I don't like to say never on any tropes because I think with the right idea any trope can be done well. Some things that I tend to stay away from are heavy mental health fix it style stories because 1) I don't feel qualified enough to write that well and 2) I don't find them super interesting usually. Exploring darker storylines is always more fun for me, or mayyyybe the occasional fluffy romance lol

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

For fanfiction based on someone else's intellectual property, no, because there are legal issues there. For writing in general maybe, but I don't see a huge market for that

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Way too much time

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

Occasionally! Maybe Sleigh Bells Ring for a favorite. Most of the holiday pieces I've written have been very fluffy lol

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

It's a mix. Usually seat of my pants, but if I have a lot of details worked out in my brain already then I'll outline

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I have a TBOSAS piece that I'm working on where Coriolanus's punishment after cheating in the Games is to be sold as a sex worker (similar to how Finnick was in THG series) rather than being forced to enlist with the peacekeepers and he ends up with Strabo Plinth as a client.......

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I cannot recommend enough just... doing it. Everyone worries so much about it not being good enough, but just like every other skill, you'll never get better without practice and just doing the damn thing over and over again.

Also read a lot. Read fanfic and actual books. You pick up a lot of things as a writer when you're reading other people's work. Sometimes you'll see certain ways of writing dialogue or inner monologues that you love and want to incorporate into your own writing. Sometimes you'll see things that pull you out of the story or don't flow well, and you'll learn that it's something you don't want to include in your writing. All of it is useful.

And MOST importantly, please please please learn how to properly format your dialogue 😭 (this is just a pet peeve of mine, but SO MANY fics don't have proper dialogue formatting)

ex: "This is the correct way to format a spoken sentence," she said sternly. "When you write a spoken sentence followed by a dialogue tag, the dialogue tag is PART of the sentence, so you should end the 'spoken sentence' with a comma, and then add the dialogue tag (starting with a lower case letter if it's not a proper noun), and then the sentence ends."

"This is correct too!" she exclaimed.

"This is also correct," she explained, "because the dialogue sentence hasn't ended, it was just interrupted. When dialogue is interrupted, but the sentence hasn't ended, the dialogue tag is surrounded by commas, indicating a whole, ongoing sentence."

INCORRECT EXAMPLES:

"This is not the correct way to format a spoken sentence." She said, crying a little bit on the inside.

"Neither is this!" She exclaimed.

"And neither is this." she sighed, rubbing at her temples as intentionally writing dialogue incorrectly began to trigger a headache.

💞 Who's your comfort character?

For Hamilton/Amrev, it's probably Hamilton. Sorry, basic bitch answer.

For TBOSAS it's Sejanus <3

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

A snippet from the TBOSAS AU with Coriolanus and Strabo Plinth that I mentioned above 🙈

But fighting? Fleeing? He thought back to the arena. The way his heart had pounded as he smashed at Bobbin until he laid unmoving on the ground.  He refused to let that sort of response control him again. He was better than base instincts. Especially here. This wasn’t life or death. All he had to do was play things smart, and he would come out on top again eventually.  And then everyone who ever tried to make him feel small would pay. 

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Literally any of the smut lmfao.

But specifically the Henry Laurens/Alexander Hamilton fucked up intern AU, Let Me Crawl Up Into Your Mind, and A Royal Affair are probably all up there for top contenders

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

Highly dependent on a lot of different variables (what I'm writing/whether it requires research/what else is going on in my life/level of motivation and focus/etc). Anywhere from a couple of hours to a month lmao

#writing #ask game #asks #thank you!!!

[plothooksinc]

fic writer meme: 2, 3, 9, 25?

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Ahh, nope? Nope, not really. If my brain goes "but what is this idea" I then go and write that idea, so inasmuch as I think in terms of tropes (I don't, usually, I look at my writing after the fact and go "oh this contains tropes A B and C" but I've never sat down to go "Imma write a trope") if I have a desire to write it I've already written it. That being said, that doesn't mean there are tropes I haven't done that I will not do in the future! They'll just kind of happen organically at some point I guess.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Almost certainly! (Though I wonder if tropes is really the right word for the meme maker, honestly...) Um, I don't find any trope in itself awful gross and off limits, but I'd find more than a few either in my list of "I'm not interested in writing this" or "I am not capable of writing this", and anything even vaguely smut related goes into both categories. There are likely a whole bunch that are not smut related that I also wouldn't write, but I don't have the awareness to know what those might be off the top of my head. (this does not include romance, FYI, I'm quite happy to write that, but I generally only write very specific kinds of that, too, because I'm allergic to anything that gets syrupy).

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Snowblind, without a doubt. "I've got a great idea! Let's take two people who hate each other and ditch them in the middle of the Japanese countryside in winter!" Did I know anything about Japanese countryside, winter, snow and blizzard survival? I'm Australian. Nope. Had I ever written chapters that were 99% description of bitter harsh conditions? Nope. Did I spend hours researching for nearly every paragraph I wrote of chapter 2? Yup. About the only thing I knew was that you could use animal grease to protect your extremities from the cold, and the rest was ferocious research the entire way through, lmao. (Me, a year ago: how...to...survive...an...avalanche...) That being said, Snowblind is also one I'm pretty proud of for the exact same reasons, I had to work for this one.

25. What do you look for in a beta?

Someone who has a good grasp of writing themselves and I know has very similar views to me on the source material. My first fic went un-betaed because I didn't know anyone in fanfiction land, until I hit about chapter 15-ish and developed enough of a rapport with one of my readers that we were talking offline and she agreed to help out. Legacy went unbeta-ed for the most part for the same reasons (new to TMNT fanfiction). I made an exception to the rule for Underdark because I'd gotten like.... 50 pages in before I started posting but I wasn't sure if the story worked, so I asked on LJ if anyone would be willing to help out and got two offers, so I took them both. Sometimes I need a beta before I have the courage to post, ahaha.

When I started writing NRFTW I knew exactly who to go to because we have incredibly similar opinions on TMNT and their characterisation and have known each other and RPed with each other for years, so I just popped on to discord out of the blue and said HEY PI and she said YES GIMME and so I have latched onto @shadowbends for all things TMNT related and she's an excellent writer no matter what she says (I still have a spray bottle, Pi) and has been invaluable on the way through. ♥ So. You know. Find a person you can work with as a partner and go for it.

Thank you for the questions!

Meme for Fic Writers here.

#@consultingjedi #fic meme

[narastories]

Fic writer asks: #12, 22, and 38

12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?

No. I don't do outlines. I make lists in a notebook, but it's usually an assortment of small and big stuff, combined with background research, and completely out of order. It's just so I don't forget things that I want to put in the fic.

I can't do the type of outline where you go scene by scene and write down what has to happen. Mainly I'm not organized enough to do that but also if I somehow manage that, then I'll feel like I've already told the story and will have zero motivation to actually write it. I think for me there has to be more flexibility to the process, and I just have to let myself figure out stuff as I go.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

That depends. Sometimes I scramble for a title last minute, before posting, sometimes I have it way before that. I'm actually really bad at coming up with titles so if I do accidentally think of anything fitting then I make sure to write it down. I'm really happy when something comes to me during the writing process. If I'm really stuck I usually go with song lyrics lol And I don't think I've ever had a title before I started writing the fic itself.

38. What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

Hmmm, which one isn't? I think that would be easier to answer ^^" I have so many self-indulgent fics lol

If I had to pick one maybe "doughnuts of darkness". Like. No one needed this. I'm aware of that. (But let's face it, all of my Harry/Nic fics are self-indulgent. No one needed me to write 38 fics with that ship. I've clearly done it for selfish reasons lmao)

These were super fun questions! Thanks for playing <3

#tumblr asks #ask game #fic writer asks

[clotpolesonly]

🤡, 🧐, and ✅️ for the Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

No, This Is Stiles (Stiles/Laura, G, 3k)

“Man, fuck you,” he said though. “You’re not the one who had to listen to Tank’s fantasies. Those were downright disturbing.” “Oh, I heard them too. Why do you think I gave him a fake number?” “He didn’t even bother with hellos first either!” Stiles told her. “Just straight into it! No time for cordial greetings here, it’s kinky fun time with Tank!” Laura laughed again, sounding delighted at how horrified Stiles was. Stiles wished he could resent her for that, but he sort of thrived on schadenfreude himself so it’s not like he wouldn’t do the same if it were someone else. “Oh, this is too good,” she said, and Stiles could just imagine her wiping tears out of her eyes. “This is the best day of my life.” “Well, I’m glad one of us is enjoying this,” Stiles said. He kicked his feet up and settled his phone more securely between ear and shoulder, hands behind his head. “Since the other one is definitely traumatized for life.” “My apologies, oh innocent victim of my dastardly scheme,” Laura said. He could practically hear the eye roll in her tone but, like, a friendly one instead of a rude one.

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

not a whole lot, cuz i have a fairly short attention span, ngl. i'll do more research if i'm procrastinating the actual writing lmao, but i also don't uuuusually write fics require a lot of research. i think the most research i've done for a fic was probably for Strains of the Heart (Sterek, G, 29k), which was a ballet danseur/violinist fic, and i wanted to have enough details to at least semi-plausibly write about the creative process for those disciplines. i've still got several webpages bookmarked that i got terms and examples from for that fic.

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

i feel like i fall back on the same sentences/descriptions a lot, but i couldn't for the life of me bring them to mind spontaneously. eyelashes, though, if i ever write a ship fic that doesn't reference the POV character's love interest's eyelashes, you can safely assume that i've been kidnapped and am trying to get a message out. i'm sure other people could list my tells more effectively than i can, cuz i lack self awareness alkdjgh

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send me fic writer asks!

#and the answer is #kelliealtogether