#also we have offical confirmation I am good at dick sucking

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON PART THREE OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY :)

A DC RENDITION OF THE SONG “MOTHER KNOWS BEST” FROM TANGLED.

Here I will leave the links to my reviews of Part 1 and Part 2

Well, here we are, three issues in this story of only six parts and i still cant tell if i like it or not. What i know for sure tho is that Zdarsky never read any Red Hood books, i had my suspicions but now i am at least 95% sure.

This Jason has been nerfed. We had a perfectly balanced Jason back in 2005 he was smart, skilled, confident and strategic. Then from 2011 to 2020 (let’s put the fact that Lobdell is trash aside for a moment) Jason was skilled, he had the whole “chosen one” thing going on with the all-castle, and in some moments you could even see him being quick witted and confident. But now in this first half of this story he is extremely insecure, his skill set and expertise is barely there and is presented as just reckless. 

The other day i was talking about how DC treats Jason, how they just can’t decide on who he is, what motivates him or what he wants. His personality is a whole ass mess, it was fine in 2005 and 2010 when Winick wrote him but then Lobdell from years 2011 to 2020 just couldn't decide what he wanted to do with Jason or his relationship with Batman and his rules. After Lobdell finally left Jason was passed around people who either only read Lobdell's work, or didn't read anything from him or didn't take into account Jason's life because their book was set in a future that may never happen. 

What i am trying to say is that Jason doesn't have a personality, and writers don't really add things to the Jason that we “know”, what they do is start his story from zero over and over again. There is no consistency to Jason's character and while you could argue that maybe this new start could be the definite version of Jason Todd/Red Hood i will point out that this nerfed version of him is a major disservice to the character that he was when he was brought back to DC.

It’s simply not nice. 

And in this particular issue the “Jason isn't that good at this whole vigilante gig” is even more pushed because of the whole “batman knows best” bullshit. I am not getting this (anthologies) book with a Red Hood story just for Batman to come in and be like “I am actually good at this job, you know nothing AND i have the moral high-ground”, this is NOT it.

If you are reading a Red Hood story chances are that you will be interested in Red Hood not Batman. 

Oh one more thing, Jason was an excellent Robin. He was kind, smart and skilled. I liked the flashbacks in UtRH because it showed Jason being all that but he also understood a couple of things about the kind of criminals that Gotham had, your common thug is easily scared of the concept of Batman but the dress-ups knew that no matter what they did the Bat would never kill them, that’s what Jason thought about criminals there.

This Robin Jason is treated rather poorly by Zdarsky at times, he feels insecure and inferior to Dick but he is also dismissive of him and the Robin mantle in the first issue, now in this one he is shown as way too reckless (which is kinda bad because it feeds into DCs favorite trope of “Jason’s death was Jason’s fault”) and his stance on “low level” criminals is weird, like it was made clear that drug related criminals are Jason’s biggest issue, thieves were not. 

Those are my general thoughts on this issue and the current state of Jason’s characterization. I have some panels from this issue that i want to talk about in more depth tho, so here we go. 

The issue stars were we left off once more, Tyler defends Jason and when Batman asks who he is Tyler says that he is the Blue Hood, that was really sweet of him, that child is adorable and he needs to be protected. 

Once the Bat distracts Tyler Jason tells the Bat that the man he killed was Tyler’s dad. 

There are a couple of things i want to point out from these panels, Jason feels incredibly guilty, not about killing Andy but about leaving Tyler in a situation that is similar to the one he was left in when his own mother died. He still believes that Andy was not a good man and deserved to be dead, after all he was drugging his own son and was the reason Tyler’s mom overdosed and is now in the hospital. It just hits incredibly close to home for Jason and i understand completely. 

The other thing i want to point out is that Jason says “I know your rules. No killing in Gotham” so, this is (to me) confirmation that Jason hasn’t killed in a long time and that he has been sticking to the Bat's rules (at least in Gotham). Andy (a drug-dealer) is the only person that Jason has killed since the events of UtRH (that are apparently canon in this story because it was mentioned in the first issue). 

Following this conversation the Bat says that he will take care of Tyler’s mother (yikes, i really thought in my last post that Jason was the one who would have tried to get her the help she needed, to me it seems more appropriate if Jason does it given that this is his story but what do I know) 

This is where this Red Hood story transforms into the Batman show.

Not only will Bruce take care of Tyler's mom but he will clean up the mess and shut down the making of the drug all by himself. Jason tells him that he will do it but the Bat tells Jason that if he wants to do it they will have to do it together because there is no way he is letting Jason out of his sight, he made a mess!

Yes, nothing like making the lead character look incompetent at his job. Love that for Jason.

Before the team up starts Batman and Red Hood go to Leslie's place to leave Tyler with her. This is a good moment only because there is a dog involved, well…Tyler, Jason and a dog are involved, best panel in the whole issue? I think yes.

Maybe I have a couple more panels that are my favs in this issue, here they are, a lil bit of positivity in this extra bitter post.

Now I will be honest, I hate Batman (Bruce’s Batman, love Dick Bats he was the MVP) so him saying that he is helping a Robin makes me want to shoot him. You are not helping; you are overtaking, as you do. Never a team player, the Batgod must always be the center of the show.

Back in the new cave Bruce talks to Jason about the drug and who he thinks might be behind it's production. He also makes sure to let Jason know that he is very smart and might be the only person outside of Crane's circle that knows how analyze a very unstable compound…weird flex but okay. He also teases Jason about his detective skills. Yay.

Flashback time! Get ready!

Robin Jason and Batman are at a crime scene and Jason doesn’t seem to be in the mood to play CSI: Gotham with Bruce.

At one moment Jason says “and then we will stomp the guy who did this” (“this” being murder), which makes Jim Gordon (who came to see if batman was done playing Sherlock Holmes) uncomfortable, so Batman tells Jason to wait for him. As Jason is going he sees someone acting suspicious.

Back to present day Batman and Red Hood are visiting the woman that created the compound that makes Fear Gas, the interrogation starts well but because this is the Batman show and Jason is bad at reading people and asking questions we have a scene that shows Jason being a bit too much.

I honestly thought that the first question was fair, but then after they leave the office they were in Batman basically goes on a rant about the things that Jason missed.

Ok, I get it Batman = good vigilante. Red Hood = Incompetent.

Zdarsky is honestly trying to make us believe that Jason hasn’t picked up any of those things, in his years as Robin with Batman AND Nightwing? They both taught him, there is no way Jason doesn’t know the basics of how to read people. Also do you guys remember Jason in UtRH and Lost Days? That guy read people perfectly, how is UtRH canon in this story, did Jason lose his skills in the explosion when he blew up the Joker?

As if that wasn’t enough Batman calls Red Hood reckless after they don’t agree on what to do next.

To this I say the following: Never again make me believe that Jason will willingly work with Batman. They don’t work together and neither are willing to meet each other halfway, even less let the other lead. This makes the idea of Jason following the Bat’s rules and him being part of the “Batfamily” the joke that it actually is.

They don’t work well together anymore; bring duality back to Gotham 2021.

Back in the past where the previous flashback is resumed we have Jim telling Batman that the new Robin seems a bit too rough around the edges. Did Jim ever meet Dick as Robin? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Dick was a sweetheart but he also beat criminals alongside batman every night. It just doesn’t feel like what Jason said was that much of a violent statement or anything, maybe I just don’t get it.

But don’t worry if you don’t get it, because we are shown Robin Jason going after that suspicious man, he is beating him asking if he knows anything about the murder or what exactly he was doing so close to the crime scene when Batman arrives. Through Batman we are told that that man was no longer a criminal, to which Jason says this, “…The guy is a jewel thief! He will always be a thief” and Batman responds “I refuse to believe that. Didn’t I meet you in the middle of stealing the Batmobile’s tires?”

I can’t believe Bruce went full “It’s over Jason. I have the moral high ground” on Robin Jason.

I mean Jason is OOC, we know this, but he has to be that way in order to make Batman look better when compared to a child. DC hates Jason Todd #Confirmed.

It kinda reminds me of that thing DC does with Dick and Barbara, Dick is skilled and smart as long as Barbara isn’t in the room, if she is then Dick will forget to check if there is someone inside his apartment and then be thrown across the room by her and then be told that he sucks at putting security in his living space.

Moving on...back to the present one last time Jason is interrogating a man while he dangles him from the edge of a building (did Dick teach him that? I bet he did.) After getting some information he calls Oracle so he can make sure that the place he is going to is safe. Oracle tells him the she will help him but she did not like the fact that the last time she helped him someone ended up dead.

Now, fair warning, Barbara and Jason big NO for me and after Geoff Johns and his antics in Three Jokers I have zero love for their “team-ups”.

Jason says this, 

Believing in him? Excuse me? Chonky, baby, she only helped you find a building.

All I can do at this point is pray to whichever god or whoever hears that this does not lead to Jason pinning for Barbara. We don’t need it (Barbara doesnt need it), I might be overreacting, I hope I am, but nobody wants that kind of drama right now, thanks.

When he arrives to the place he was looking for I think everyone can tell that it’s a trap, everyone but Jason apparently. 

How on earth does Jason not realize it’s a trap up until it’s too late? Are you joking? Is this a Red Hood story? Are we really doing this? Just how incompetent is Jason in Zdarsky’s eyes?

Freeze…is it Freeze? I don’t care but he is there, he freezes Jason and that’s the end of the issue.

Listen, I wish I could say that this is the worst Jason has been treated and that this book is horrible, I wish but I can’t. I can’t do it because this isn’t the worst characterization or book of Jason, this is still a pretty good story, could it be better? Yes.

I mean this story is written by someone who obviously doesn’t know Jason and that sucks but it still isnt the worst characterization and it messes me up. Three Jokers was worse than this, certain plot decisions in Future State: Red Hood were worse than this (in my opinion) and Lobdell’s New52 RHatO was pure trash (that is the worst book, just horrible please dont read it). 

I am saying this only to make it clear that even tho this issue was painful (mostly if you don’t like Batman) I still have hope that it can turn out to be good. I cant help it, i want and need this story to be good and there is still time for it to get better. 

Alright thats all i have to say, let me know what you thought about this issue and my review, bye!

#jason todd #red hood #batman urban legends #urban legends red hood #dc comics #red hood outlaw #robin jason todd

[withoneheadlight]

oh man that one with billy convincing steve to skip work has got me thinking trophy husband billy

Oh, anon! 💗💗💗💗adkahdshdhdkhkhdYESSS. I LOVE this idea!

And I’m SURE he would be the happiest trophy husband. And also the kind that's showy. Has so much fun going over the top with it, being gossip material. All cliché-y, and Diva-like. Basically confirming what everyone thinks about him (about them) precisely because it’s the diametrically opposed to what it really is.

Doing things like:

Mowing the lawn in mini-mini-shorts. Working on his tan on their lovely backyard on the sunny Sunday Summer mornings (in that exact spot where –coincidentally– Mr. Walker, their blatantly homophobic next door neighbor, would have to get out of his own backyard with his eyes closed not to see). Being reaaaally polite with everyone around (Mr. Walker included), smiling and waving his hand like “Hiiii, Janice! How did that new face treatment go?” because they live in a Nice Place now, six years after Robert Harrington made Steve climb his way up the company ladder right from the bottom “Exactly like everyone else”, both as a punishment and a trial; after working their asses out of their shitty one-bedroom apartment, having to prove themselves in every single step (as Steve and Billy, but also as SteveandBilly), but,

Here they are.

And now Steve has a very good job, one he’s genuinely good at, one that pays for much more than hardly the bills and maybe having dinner out from time to time. And they’re happy and they are together and they fucking made it, despite barely anyone around them given two shits. Now, Steve slicks his wild hair back from Monday to Friday, wears the nicest suits, so fitting and sexy and oh so preppy Billy sometimes gets a hard-on just from seeing them all together in the dressing room, hanging in a perfectly tidy line, made of the same material of sins.

So. 

He just doesn’t see the point in not treating himself every once in a while.  Make Steve run late for work or not getting there at all. In no letting himself enjoy the way those tailored beauties emphasize the shape of Steve’s glorious ass. Enjoy the certainty that in a big, stylish, impeccably neat office downtown, Steve’s dad is rolling his eyes all the way back into their sockets.

And also.

In not letting himself revel in the exhilarating feeling of sliding full into this ‘hot-mess trophy hubby’ persona almost everyone around them assumes he is. Steve’s Harrington boy-toy. “That California scum. Must be real good at sucking dick to get a deal like that.” Make the rumors roll down the small streets of Hawkins and under the door of his own father’s house. Thrive in the knowledge that every time Neil Hargrove hears any or those rumors or gets even the tiiiniest glimpse of them two together, going out and about holding hands,  feels like he’s about to puke his guts out thinking about what his son has ‘become’.

And aside from that, he kind of––enjoys, this trophy husband thing, to be honest. It’s been ten years since they got together now. Billy likes to keep things spiced-up. So when Steve is promoted and they move to be close to the new office, along with the house Billy buys a pair of powder pink slippers, fluffy ball of floating fur on top, and a see-through, fur-riveted robe to match. Some days he goes to his morning cockteling&tanning session in the backyard wearing only that (“Heeeey! How ya doin’ Mr. Walker?”). Kisses Steve goodbye long and filthy at the door, where everyone can see, opening the robe wide to wrap it around them both together, pressing their bodies flush, biting at his ear and whispering “Bring me a diamond when you come back, honey bunny” making Steve snort but say "You deserve a million of them, babe" making Billy melt, feel a bit like he's dripping love out of all the pores of his body, making a puddle that will permanently stain the glamorous white marble of the entryway as he waves Steve goodbye, scratches with feign indifference at the trail of fair hairs coming out his flashy-green pants to counteract the way Steve's killer smile makes him blush as hard as the first time, a whole decade away, that cold November night when he grabbed Billy by the collar of his T-shirt and said "I'm gonna kiss you. And then you're gonna punch me. And I don't care.”

It’s like a fucking fairytale. The way things were going? The most Billy expected out of life was live if fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse behind. But now, he’s got the guy of his dreams. He’s got a life he could have never dreamed of. He’s got Steve, now. Steve, who’s good, is caring. Always fights him back. Doesn’t buy any of the shit he tries to pull off. Steve, who's got lips like that moment the earth forgets about gravity when you’re riding down the hill of a rollercoaster. Got eyes that can rip out of you promises you never thought you'd make (like: I do and forever and not even death). That always see Billy when they look at him.

And now, he gets to wake up every morning before he does, put the Moka pot on the stove. Gets to see Steve’s sleepy face right after rolling out of bed, hair still untamed, pouty lips, bare feet dragging over the floor. See the way he beams, smile wide and devastatingly sweet when Billy tells him “I made you coffee, babe”. Gets Steve kissing him like a daydream, laying him over the kitchen table, fucking him before even touching breakfast with his fancy pink robe on.

And Billy thought he would have to change. Give something, to have something. Didn’t really mind. Too lucky to complain. Thought he would have to stop being mean once they got married. Play the tamed part. Thought he was going to have to behave to fit into the rich and respectable life they had landed at. But. No-No. Rich people? They’re way meaner than regular people, turns out. Billy’s just been upgraded to play for the Asshole’s World Championship Cup.

And he’s always been good at sports.

So he goes to the hair salon the afternoon before any important event. Gets a facial. Does his nails. Buys new clothes. Gets all Pretty Woman on himself just so Steve can show him off. And oh. OH. OHHH. Steve does show him off. To his dad. His mom. The whole party. Doesn’t give a fuck about whatever people keeps on whispering behind their backs. Offers his arm to Billy and Billy clings to him, keeps his chin up. He’s never been as afraid of anything as much as Steve not loving him back. He’s fearless now. Because here they are. So he lets Steve walk him through the crowd as the King he was born like. Brilliant. Proud. Letting Billy to deal with the vultures if he fancies to do that.

“Awwww. But look at you!! Anyone can tell you two are soooo in love!”

Fake boobs. Fake Louboutins. Fake Smile. Billy is Queen Bee now. He’s got this.

“Oh, no Miss Treadaway. I dearly appreciate you noticing how good my acting skills are. But it’s exactly as you said to Miss Walton the other day. I only married Stevie here because he’s got a big dick and it’s loaded. And he only married me because of how good I look on all fours. You’re too perceptive to hide it!”

But with Steve’s parents? With Steve’s parents Billy is relentlessly n i c e.  When Robert Harrington won’t even look at him. When Crystal Harrington blows saccharine all over him like in a bad magic trick, deceivingly sweet when she says, “Well William. Maybe it's time you get a real job too now our Steven is running his own branch" cold war buzzing between them when Billy spreads his most honest, open smile, not a millimeter of animadversion showing “But I already have a real job, Crystal. I take care of your son. And there’s also, you know, that side thing I do of running Garage” making her fingers clutch hard around her cup of fine champagne, making Steve’s lips fight to repress a grin, eyes fond, and soft and in love. And Billy will do whatever it takes, endure whatever he has to, if what he gets in return is this:  the way the narrow space keeping them apart feels like inevitability when they're about to kiss.

And everyone thought he was going after the money, when they married. Most still do. But Billy never actually asked for diamonds. Well, not for real. But he gets one anyway. Tenth anniversary and counting. It shines unreal on his finger, as much as this life he has now, as the liquid shine of Steve’s eyes when he says “They come from fire, just like you. I always thought they would fit so well. And looks like I was right” and just a few years before, Billy would have said “This is too much, I can’t take it” too afraid Steve would get the wrong impression too, too afraid to not be up to him. But now, he understands, that this is just another way Steve is trying to take care of him, to show him love. So now, Billy lets Steve spoil him as much as he wants. Take him out for dinner without reason. Hand him a sealed envelope saying, “What about showing me that ocean you love so much?” Kissing him in front of everyone, all the time, ringed fingers intertwined.

Lets him buy them a California King just to make a stupid joke, get Billy Hargrove to blush.

“We can ditch all of this, if you’re not happy. You know that, right? I don’t care about anything else as long as it’s you and I”

Billy shakes his head. “I am happy, pretty boy. Happier than I ever thought I could be” Tickles Steve’s nose with the fluffy, pink fuzz all around his robe until he sneezes and chuckles. “But I wanna know,” he says, tone pouty and tragic “It is true, what everybody says? Am I really a trophy husband?”

Steve shuffles closer, rumbles low in his throat. It’s an early Sunday morning. They’re gonna spend all time left until breakfast fucking in bed. Then cockteling&tanning together ‘till lunch. And then, after, he’s sure he can convince Steve to put on one of those gorgeous suits, let Billy grind against the soft fabric, make a mess out of him. Make him beg and squirm. Pull down his fly real slow, down on his knees. Suck him off. Eat him out. Make him moan I love yous brighter than diamonds when Billy gets inside him. But right now, Steve just kisses him silly, lowers down the covers to take a look down, at his leopard print, see-through, hideous new briefs. The cheapest ones he could find.

Because Billy’s trash. Will always be trash.

“Oh yeah, babe. You are. A fucking trophy. The best anyone could have”

But he’s posh trash now.

💎

The original post (xxxx) xD 💍

#harringrove #Steve Harrington #Billy hargrove #Billy x Steve #xask #askfic #xharringrove #the harrington-hargrove household #xaskwithoneheadlight #xfluff #xpronight

[jlalafics]

“Operator”-an Everlark Ficlet

For @mrspeetamellark, who wanted “Peeta’s dirty filthy sex talk”. Enjoy!

Katniss couldn’t believe she was doing this.

Delly had convinced her that this would broaden her horizons.

Apparently, that’s what she needed after a dumping such as hers.

Her year-long relationship with Cato had ended with a bitter fight and him telling her that she was bore in the bedroom. Then, he promptly informed her that he was moving out of their apartment to shack up with Clove, a little beast of a woman who had clawed her way up into Cato’s penis.

That was fine. The relationship had been going downhill months ago.

However, this was kind of a new low for her.

She went to the mirror in the corner of her bedroom, looking at her reflection and wondering if the black nightie was necessary.

Then, pouring a glass of wine from the bottle on her bedside table, Katniss pulled out a card with the scantily clad man on it and dialed the number.

It rang a twice.

She told herself she would hang up on the third, when someone suddenly picked up the line.

“Hello?” came a smooth, deep voice.

“Hi,” she croaked out nervously. “This is stupid.”

The man on the phone chuckled. “I hope not. It’s how I make a living.”

“Oh hell—I’m sorry!” Katniss slap her palm to her forehead. “I’ve never done this before, but my friend suggested it as a way to help me discover ‘my sexual goddess’—whatever the fuck that means.”

“Sounds like you’ve been going through something,” the man replied. “Want to tell me about it?”

“I’ve been living with my ex for a year and he just dumped me for a girl who will let him put it anywhere he wants.”

“Ouch. Sounds like a real charmer.”

“You bet,” she responded wryly. “I’m not too sad about it. I’m more insulted that he thought I was boring in bed. I mean, I would’ve let him put it anywhere, but some foreplay would’ve been nice. Also, being completely silent while I’m pulling out the big guns didn’t help.”

“Some guys expect women to just automatically go for anything,” the man said. “But I find that, in healthy sexual relationships, there has to be an equal amount of give and take.”

“Exactly!” Katniss took a sip from her glass and sat back against the pillows of her bed. “You seem like a decent person. Why are you working on a phone sex line?”

“Because I enjoy it,” he told her simply. “Also, this is just an evening job.”

“So, it’s like a stripper at night and paralegal by day kind of thing,” she replied.

The man chuckled. “Kind of. I have a pretty standard office job.”

“Me, too.” Katniss took another sip, her nerves beginning to relax. “So, how do we do this?”

“Let’s start with your name,” he told her.

“Katniss.”

“Katniss,” he repeated.

His voice tightened at the last bit of her name and she straightened at the change of tone.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, it’s just a very different name,” the man said. “But very pretty. I think I’m going to like saying it into your ear as you come.”

Her nipples immediately tightened at his words. “Oh yeah?”

“Yes.” He laughed roughly. “What pretty little thing are you wearing for me?”

“I knew you were going to ask that, at some point.” Katniss fingered the strap of her nightie. “I’m wearing a black nightie with lace along the top.”

“Sounds lovely,” the man replied. “Tell me; do you feel uncomfortable taking instructions?”

“Depends.” She smiled into receiver. “What are you going to tell me to do?”

“Give me a name,” he told her. “A name that means something to you. A name that turns you on. But I don’t want you to say it until you come.”

“Alright,” she agreed.

There was only one name that Katniss wanted to say.

He, however, was unattainable.

“Close your eyes.” His voice was low, and the timbre instantly electrified her…down there. “I can tell that you’re analyzing every single part of this call…what I must be thinking about you…what I look like—am I right?”

Katniss giggled. “Exactly.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “I closed them.”

“I think that you’re a brave woman who’s taking control of her sexual life.” The man breathed against the receiver and Katniss shivered imagining his warm breath against her ear. “I’m blond, average height, with blue eyes. Imagine me in your mind.”

Katniss took a deep breath, the image of a man forming in her head. She saw him, undoing her favorite red tie, removing his black loafers, before lying next to her.

“I’m playing with the strap of your gown, Katniss…what were you doing before I came home?”

“Drinking wine…imagining what we would be doing once you got home,” she stuttered out. “I’m not good at this.”

“You were doing beautifully,” he assured her. “The tone of your voice…low…grounded…I bet you growl when you’re turned on…and I'd love to make you growl…”

Katniss felt the gush as her core pulsed at his words. She had foregone underwear and could see her arousal gleaming on her inner thighs.

“While you were waiting for me, did you touch yourself?”

Her fingers traced along the opening of her gown. “Yes…”

“Oh fuck—” He groaned into the receiver and the sound traveled straight to her cunt. “I’ve been thinking about you all day. Just thinking about coming home to you made me hard—” There was a grunt on her speaker, and she gasped at the image of him, cock straining through the zipper of his pants. “I had to close the door to my office and stroke myself to the thought of you…”

Katniss mewled into the phone, her hand traveling down between her legs as the other massaged her breast.

“God…”

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he rumbled on the line. “I’m kneeling in front of you, open your cunt for me—”

“What?”

“Take those pretty little fingers of yours and use them to spread your labia, Katniss. I want to see that lovely hole…the one that I’m going to stick my fingers…then my tongue…and finally my cock—”

Behind her eyes, Katniss imagined this mystery man kneeling before her and using her index and middle finger, spread her outer lips apart to his hungry eyes.

“Mmmm…more…” She groaned into the phone. “I want more…please…”

“I got you—” Katniss could hear shifting and wondered if she was actually turning this stranger on. “You’re so wet for me, Katniss. I bet you taste delicious...go on…taste yourself.”

Losing herself in his voice, she lifted her hand to her mouth and stuck her fingers in her mouth.

“I can hear you sucking on your fingers.” He sounded desperate. “What do you taste like?”

She moved her fingers from her lips. “Light…but musky…”

The man moaned into the receiver. “Do you want to fuck me?”

“Yes,” she growled. “I need you inside me.”

Her fingers went back to drenched core, moving along her inner lips, and dancing along her entrance.

“Undo my belt,” he commanded. “I can’t wait anymore, Katniss. I want you to pull out my cock. I want you to rub your cunt against my pants so every time I wear them, I can remember my dick ramming into that soaked hole of yours—fuck!”

Katniss took her fingers, plunging them straight into her core. “UH!” She lost herself in the motion, her hips jerking as she fucked herself—or in her mind, he fucked her—into oblivion. “I’m going to come…”

“Me too, baby,” he moaned. “Touch your clit, make yourself come for me, Katniss…”

Her hand went to her pearl, circling the peaked nerve, and she felt the crest of her climax in sight.

“Don’t forget…” he demanded. “Say my name…say my name when you come—”

Her whole body arched, tensing, before she crashed, and her hips bucked as the white-hot pleasure blinded her.

“FUCK—PEETA!”

She could hear his ragged breaths as her hips landed back on her mattress.

“Oh God…that was amazing.”

“You are amazing,” he breathed, almost tenderly.

“Thank you,” she whispered into the phone. “I thought that maybe my ex was right—that I was a horrible lay. But it wasn’t me. He just never inspired me…or made me want…you did.”

“Katniss?”

Her eyes opened slowly. “Yes?”

“It’s me—” He took a deep breath. “Peeta.”

She snorted. “Yeah, sure.”

“Today is your 25th birthday.” Katniss shot up at his words. “Your office gave you a cake—chocolate with strawberries on top and almonds sprinkled on the sides, along with a bottle of wine.” Her eyes went to the open bottle of pinot. “My office is right across from yours—and I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you.”

“Peeta…” Her eyes filled. “Two years?”

“Two years,” he confirmed. “Delly told me that you and Cato broke up. I had to take a chance even if it was this.”

“Do you actually work as a phone sex operator?”

“No,” he replied. “Delly made that flier.”

“Damn her and her graphic skills,” she muttered.

“Do you hate me? For lying to you?” Peeta asked carefully. “If you ended up not calling, I was going to ask you out on Monday, but I understand if you never want to speak to me—”

“Peeta.” He stopped. “Would you really do all the things you said over the phone?”

“Fuck yes.”

Katniss laid back against her pillows. She didn’t want to wait till Monday to see him.

So, she told him her address.

FIN.

#Everlark #Everlark Fanfiction #Rated E #request #unedited

[eutaerpe]

the escapades (m)

pairing — jimin x reader

genre/warnings—  smut (oral, fingering, orgasm denial) & college!au, fratboy!jimin, brief e2l, brief ewb, acr universe

summary —  the one where there’s a lot of unresolved sexual tension, until there isn’t.

notes — 8.3k words of the happiness before the storm i couldn’t write. i realised halfway through this there’s a slight plotwise change in comparison to what i wrote in acr so. yeah. sorry. kudos to you if you find it lol

The first time it happens, you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.

You’re sitting near the end of the table, crossing your legs and playing with the hem of your dress, your lips twisted into a frown. The real reason lying behind the simple decision of having a single, almost infinite table of guests doesn’t, in the slightest, cross your mind; why your idiotic brother would see this as a delightful idea really is above you, but you suppose the valuable genes in the family runs all in your DNA.

You’re playing with the table decorations while waiting for the guests to come, and it’s so fucking boring you regret telling Seulgi no, babe, what the fuck - you even shook your head and decided to sound extra mad at the idea - I won’t sneak in weed.

Too bad for you, she had answered, a cute pout on her lips, I’ll give you an hour before you’re bored out of your mind.

The truth hangs above your head, with a sheepish grin: you just needed ten minutes to be absolutely, drastically bored.

In hindsight, sneaking in weed wouldn’t have been the worst idea: your mother is talking to the in laws, gesticulating excitedly at the idea of kids right after marriage. What the fuck, you text Seulgi, at home trying to get out of bed, my brother has been married for an hour and there’s already baby talk going on at the table.

 Seulgi

[12.49]

With the baby talk comes the dick talk

 You

[12.49]

Oh no the dick talk

 Seulgi

[12.50]

man how can you survive your relatives talking about nonexistent boyfriends without my weed, damn???

 You

[12.50]

option a: I’ll tell them I’m dating you

 Seulgi

[12.50]

we kissed ONE time

 You

[12.50]

option b: I’ll tell them I’m in a relationship with Jeon jungkook

 Seulgi

[12.50]

bitch we both know you’re not in a relationship with the hottest guy on campus. he has dimples and long hair and piercings. my sources can even confirm he has a big dick. what do U Have

 You

[12.51]

i was talking about my vibrator but go off lmao

anyway I’ve had that D ;)

 Seulgi

[12.51]

you’re officially cancelled

when did this happen? I can’t believe you’re telling me over text!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 You

[12.51]

last semester!!!!! why do you think I’ve named my vib after him!!!!!!

 Seulgi

[12.52]

because you’re lusting after him like the rest of us mortals!!!!!!!!!!

 You

[12.52]

I’ve upgraded since then. I’ve leveled up. I’ve seen things People Can’t Even Imagine

 Seulgi

[12.52]

just say he got u off and go

 You

[12.52]

;p

anyway option c: I scare them away by saying controversial things. Id est: I don’t believe in love. I am choosing my partner solely judging their abilities to finger me under a table when people are around. I am secretly lusting after my brother’s wife. I am trying to get impregnated like in The Sims 2 aka I am waiting for that alien dick.

 Seulgi

[12.52]

hate to break it to you babe but that’s literally who you are

 You

[12.52]

i

I literally compliment joohyun’s boobs once and this is the treatment I get

 Seulgi

[12.52]

are we not gonna talk about your alien dick kink

 You

[12.52]

no kink shaming in this house lady

option d: I listen to their complaints and run

 Seulgi

[12.53]

option dick

man sorry I meant option d

 You

[12.53]

you didn’t

 Seulgi

[12.54]

ur right I didn’t

 Option e, also known as I’ll entertain the other guests so I don’t have to talk to you, presents itself in the form of one very hot, very ripped young man sporting the most expensive shirt in the room. You’re only human when you admit to yourself, mental sigh, that he ticked all the let’s get y/n horny requirements in less than fifteen seconds.

You can’t believe Joohyun has kept him hidden for so long from you. Such betrayal ends when your brother, Kim fucking Seokjin, hugs him tight and brushes with utter affection the nape of his neck, gracing him with a warm smile and a heartfelt laugh.

You can’t believe Seokjin has kept him hidden for so long from you.

Well. Scratch that. You can.

Suddenly, the ticked requirements disappear and a giant neon sentence with a very cheap background music impose themselves in your head. WHAT A TURN OFF! they read, the neon red words mocking you; you steal a glance at your brother’s acquaintance one more time - one last time - before slipping your phone in your hands and dedicating yourself one more time at your Instagram feed, scrolling through the most recent pics.

(You stumble upon an extremely rare Jungkook selfie, and you hate to admit you spend the following thirty seconds admiring him before tapping twice on the quality content you’ve signed up for when you joined the social)

You suppose that, even though your brother’s friends with fuckboy tendencies are signed off your let’s get to know each other better ;) list, it doesn’t mean the same goes for them.

So, when the dark-haired young man with a jawline sharper than Seulgi’s retorts after her third beer sits next to you, you reckon you shouldn’t be that surprised.

He acts all casual, you notice while discreetly looking at him; he’s busy taking off his jacket and flexing his muscles, all of this while pretending not to notice you, and you find it immensely cute.

Ah, fuckboys.

“Fuck,” he rasps, lips twisted in a crooked smile, “I didn’t think it would be this hot today.”

“Yeah, sorry, the heat is on me.”

He chuckles in disbelief at your words, eyes turning into crescents.

“Right, there’s always the girl stealing the bride’s spotlight at weddings.”

“Oh! That’s me,” you nod enthusiastically, “That’s one hundred percent me.”

“Groom or bride?” He asks, pointing at the couple with his chin.

“What do you think?”

He looks at you funny, pressing his back on the seat, pondering in silence. Cute.

“Bride. One of Bae’s sorority sisters, maybe? You seem too young to be her age, though.”

“Damn,” you exhale, crossing your arms under your chest, “I can’t believe you got it all wrong. The expectations were low, but I’m still disappointed.”

He ducks his head, still smiling. “Then it’s the groom. How do you know Seokjin?”

Your eyes twinkle with excitement at your next words, but honestly, who can blame you? You’re having fun with this lost, cute chick.

“What’s your take, officer?”

He erupts into a laugh, and you drink in his handsome features; fuck you, Seokjin, for being friends with fuckboys only.

“Alright,” he punches the bridge of his nose, scanning the room, which is slowly filling with other guests. “I’m his friend, and I know all of his friends, which can only mean one thing: option a, you’re one of his ex-girlfriends; option b, you’re one of his secret hook-ups; option c, you’re an old friend from high school.”

“Oooh,” you beam, unrealistically intrigued, “You really suck at guessing, don’t you?”

He laughs, passing a hand through his dark locks, messing his perfectly styled hair. “Ok, fair. Which one was the closest, then?”

“Option d, of course.” You nod, relaxing your features into a sheepish grin, “I’m his much more beautiful and smarter sister.”

You exam his face, now twisting into some sort of what the fuck, such betrayal look, and you take in, for the last time – really the last, this time – his attractive, sculptured face, his full lips, the smoothness of his skin. It’s awful and unfair knowing you two won’t cross paths ever again in your lives, but at least you had some fun messing with him before things could worsen.

“I’ll be sitting in the middle of the table, with my family, if you want to avoid me.”

You wink at him for good measure, and you swear to god he blushes.

 Half a wine bottle and two flutes of prosecco down, you realise you underestimated your resident fuckboy.

It happens when you’re grabbing your napkin and channelling your dreamy, happy looks towards the newlyweds, dancing in the middle of the room, their eyes gravitating only towards the love of their lives.

You sigh, pouting for the smallest of fractions, when you feel someone sitting at your side.

“You know,” Fuckboy begins, and you picture him licking his lips as he pauses, “Now I get why he never told us anything more than: I’m not an only child.”

“I know,” you exhale, turning to face him, “Seokwon is the real catch of our family. We’re really protective of him.”

“He’s married. With kids.”

“I was there when the twins opened their eyes, thank you.”

“We thought you were either a small kid or a forty years old woman.”

“Wait,” you tilt your head, “How did you know about us then? And who’s we?”

“We dug into his stuff and he caved in, admitting he had a brother and a sister.” Fuckboy looks at you, eyes dark but reflecting the dim lights of the function room, “Us. The frat guys.”

“Right, the fuckboys.”

He looks taken aback by your statement, bewildered, and you take advantage of his reaction to stand up and head away from him. It’s his words that stop you from doing so, though.

“You don’t know us—”

“—except I do know your pledges and your brothers.”

“But you don’t know me.”

“Maybe,” you shrug, “I prefer to steer away from my brother’s friends, though.”

“Right,” he says, tightening his lips in a hard line, almost hurt, “So, who am I to interfere with your judgmental thinking?” He clicks his tongue, then, a resolute exhale slipping past his lips, smothered by his own tingling despair.

The words hurt.

You don’t know what exactly pinched your senses hard, if the tone or the wallowing sadness swimming in his expression, but, as he stands up and leaves, you’re left facing the cold, hard truth.

The words hurt, you hurt, and you feel guilty.

You say nothing, glancing in the direction of the first alcoholic beverage around, and you fill yourself a glass.

Had it been someone else – had it been another sentence, another less sickening scenario, you would’ve felt proud, righteous. You’re, instead, on the other side of the feelings spectrum, all filled with crippling guilt and a nauseous, pervasive feeling you can’t quite name and pin down.

The guests are dancing around you, moving hand in hand to the rhythm of the pop love song now playing; the ballroom is packed when you let your impulsive side make a choice, eyes following the guy’s composed figure. You can drastically feel the sweat, and the heat the people are radiating, when you stand up and move towards him, the only smiling boy passing his glass from a hand to the other.

You’re close enough to tap his wrist and brush your fingers, which you do; it elicits a gasp from him, all soft, not scathing around the edges yet able to bite you, anyway. It’s the guilt, you remind yourself, looking for a sign of some sort of inclination to accept your apologies between the crease of his brows and tight jaw, and everywhere in between.

It’s sickening—this boy didn’t exist four fucking hours ago. It didn’t even cross your wildest dreams, someone like him. His shape – his silhouette – has left a print in your mind, and no matter how hard you try focusing on something else, someone else, your mind keeps going back to the shape itself.

But you’re a coward, so, while he lets you intertwine your fingers, you admit, voice loud: “I wanna dance.”

He handles you properly, kindly, before pushing you in the crowd and brushing your hips with his hands, all rings and jewellery adorning them.

He blinks twice, biting the insides of his mouth, but he manages,

“Who says I wanna dance?”

Which is a bit stupid, or hypocritic if you might, because he’s swaying you to the rhythm of a ballad the pop love song turned into. You break into the smallest of smiles.

“I want to apologize.”

He scoffs. “I don’t know you,” he says, funnily enough, “But that seems almost unlikely, coming from you.”

“Yeah, you got me there, officer. I was, uhm,” you stare blatantly at his neck, and you suppress the desire to stroke your fingers’ pads on his soft skin, “I was out of line. I’m sorry. You were right, I don’t know you. I do know your frat brothers, my own brother, but that doesn’t mean I know you.”

He hums, moving for a small fraction of instants his thumbs on your hips and it’s enough for your breath to catch into your own throat. He nods, which could mean anything, from I accept your apology to go fuck yourself, this is bullshit. You prefer the former option, if you’re being honest, which is the answer you settle for in your head, hazed and absolutely hazed and madly hazed because of his small physical contact.

To put this into the simplest terms, Seulgi’s words, you don’t like this.

“I like dancing,” his eyes tower you and gaze at the other people dancing; you wonder if he’s thinking about them, who they are to you, what role they played in Seokjin’s life, if they’ll show up to your wedding, too. These thoughts popped into your mind unannounced, before, at the table, before the not-really-fuckboy sat next to you and made you feel guilty. Such absurdity; yet here you are, in his arms. Oh god, what would Seulgi think of you if she saw you?

“Good to know, I’m awful at shoulder-hips coordination.”

“Shoulder-hips coordination?” he inquiries, lips parted.

“Uh, body rolls?”

“Oh,” he chuckles, “I see, you mean classy grinding.”

“I don’t do classy grinding, sorry,” you retort, head tilted to a side.

His smile his amused. “Too bad, shoulder-hips coordination is a nice trait to exhibit sometimes.”

“I prefer hips coordination. Well, hips rotation.”

“Hips rotation?”

“Riding? Is the term somehow unfamiliar to you?”

He flushes, biting back a grin and fixing his gaze somewhere in the crowd. How cute.

“Not at all, it’s nice to meet a hips rotation enthusiast here, though.”

“Statistics say at least a member in each family is a riding enthusiast, did you know?”

“Shit, talk dirty to me,” he licks his lips, pointing at Jin with his chin, “Didn’t peg him for a rider, though. Not at all.”

“I’m starting to think you’re not a STEM major, are you? You’re lacking basic intuition, my friend.”

“Is this your attempt of discovering my major?” – he eyes you, a flick of amusement burning in his orbs – “You’re not very smooth, you know?”

“I have my moments.”

He snorts, placing both hands on the small of your back. You’re at height level with the base of his neck, and it’s fun how your mind betrays you in such moments, providing mental images of your nose brushing against his skin, and you nuzzling in the crook of his neck. Such taunting, invasive pictures. Fuck off, you reprimand your own mind, fuck off.

“I’m Jimin.”

“Jimin,” you taste the name on your tongue, hitting the back of your front teeth. “Jin never talked about you. I’m Y/N.”

“Jin never talked about you either.”

“Of course he never did, I’m prettier than he is.”

His little dimples make an appearance. “You know, you could really steal the bride’s spotlight.”

“That was my ultimate goal all along, even though I prefer the dark side.”

“I,” he licks his lips, and you don’t know why you’re following the gesture, “I meant to say you’re beautiful.”

“Oh my god,” you whisper, eyebrows raising, “Are you a charmer?”

“I mean,” he begins, sheepish smile on display, “I never kiss and tell.”

“Touching.” He smirks. “How sweet of you.”

“You know what else is sweet?”

“Please,” you beg, meeting his eyes, “Don’t say my pussy.”

“Please,” he repeats, same mocking tone, “The possibilities are endless. Your mouth,” he scoots closer, words whispered on the shell of your ear, “Your mouth around my dick,” he almost nibbles your ear, “Your mouth screaming my name.”

“My pussy,” you add, trying not to lose your mind.

“I would never call sweet something I’ve not tasted.”

He raises a brow.

“Are you offering? You’re not very smooth, you know?”

He ignores the last question, tightening his grip. “In the middle of your brother’s wedding? Seokjin’s wedding? I’m not a dick, even though you sitting on my face would be a sight to see.”

“Right?” your voice doesn’t falter for a second, “That’s what I always say”

“Nice to see how we’ve got much in common. But I was thinking of something else, actually—” His face is once again inches away from yours, ear to mouth, hot breath fanning over you bare neck. “I wanna finger you.”

Oh.

“Under the table. Right behind you. Wanna make you whimper.”

It’s almost like being tongue-tied, fumbling for words, body flushing, but you gather somewhere the strength to form an actual sentence, which makes him smirk devilishly.

“I can be very quiet.”

He pokes his tongue into his cheek. “Bet you can’t keep your pretty mouth shut.”

“When I win,” you say, lying your words on an unrealistically high vote of confidence, even for yourself, “What do I get?”

He licks his lips, slow, savouring the moment. “You get to ride my face.”

“Not your dick?”

“I’m not a fuckboy, baby.”

A comeback of some kind is already on your tongue, but – there’s a kiss somewhere in the following seconds, all wet and tingling and perhaps filled with too many lip bites, but he can’t really blame you when you’ve been brushing your thighs together for the past minute, heat pooling down your belly. It’s enough for you to silently pledge for more, and for him to tease, because he takes a step back, smirk in place and lips reddened, and guides you towards his seat at the end of the table with a hand on the small of your back.

Downhill begins as soon as you sit down, legs barely parted, a minimum space not fitting for his plans, apparently, because the crease between Jimin’s eyebrows grows when he nudges them apart with his hand, the cold metal of his rings cooling down your flushed state. You want to gasp at the sudden intrusion, but the sound is swallowed entirely by his hot mouth on yours, distracting once again, incredibly soft and alluring. This kiss is slow, this time, like he’s taking his time tasting you and learning about the hums he draws out of you, the shyness of your previously biting tongue, and how fast you get lost in the kiss itself. You press a chaste kiss on his mouth, before creaking a space between you.

“I’m starting to think you’re all bark and no bite”

He doesn’t answer, but stares into your eyes with his hooded gaze, and he manages to sneak a hand furtively under your dress not breaking the contact. His skin is warm, but you’re warmer, and his destination is even hotter. He cocks his head, fingers brushing against the soaked, sticking material you used to call panties up until fifteen minutes ago, and he must notice—his eyes grow wider, his jaw tightens and his hand gains courage.

Fuck. This should be embarrassing, getting worked up over dirty innuendos and a kiss or two, but you’re instead feeling flushed and more. More sensitive. More open to the idea of him ruining you, even though that’s not what he’s offering. Or— is he?

The question lies unanswered when his digits rub with a sparkled intensity over both your clothed sex and your inner thighs. It’s a continuous, mellifluous melody, his fingers dancing between the two until he settles on your panties only, and that’s when you almost let out a soft moan; you don’t, he raises his brow, challenging, but you don’t, and instead glance around to notice if someone has his eyes on the both of you, sitting in the furthest region of the fucking smart, endless table.

He raises the stake, flushed: Jimin pushes your panties on one side, petting with his index your exposed self, and you suck in a breath. He continues to do so, face still, closing the distance between you two.

You don’t question the sudden kiss, instead you angle your face and close your eyes and let him press his lips on you. This feels like being drunk, or high, stretching underneath a sky dripping with stars. You cup his face with your hands, his lips so terribly soft and inviting, the smallest of smiles meeting your own chapped and curved upwards lips.

It’s when you’re merely inches away from him that he thumbs at your clit, sensitive and tingling, circling with utmost peace and no speed whatsoever. You pout at little, you realize, which makes him melt either cause of your cute frown -oh, how the tables have turned- or simply because he’s the devil himself, pressing a finger against your entrance and delving it into your heat.

“Cute,” he purrs, kissing you, “Is this okay?”

The crude, hot, nerve-wracking fingering has begun, which makes you, quickly enough, putty in his hands and ablaze with ardour for this man whose rasping voice could kill you.

“Yeah,” you breathe on his mouth, eyelids drooping closed, “Yeah, all good.”

You hum to yourself as he starts pressing kisses on your jaw and your neck, a trail of treacherous flames lighting up your skin, and you have the audacity to sigh under his ministrations, a tiny, strained sound not quite a mewl.

If he hears, he doesn’t show it. You’re biting your own lip when he enters a second finger, filling your searing emptiness.

“Want three?” he asks, voice husky and as desperate as you are under his touch. He adds it when you nod, the squelch louder than before, and you moan, rocking your hips against his fingers.

“Shh, baby,” he coos, placing his other hand on your hips, slowing your movements, “Be a good girl.”

He fucks you deep, fast, fingers clashing against the silky dress you’re wearing and sweat sparkling on his forehead. He swallows another moans of yours, sucking your bottom lip and tugging it between his teeth. You’re close. You’re so close, and it’s only been a couple minutes. You can’t hear anything that isn’t your wet pussy clenching around his fingers, his rhythm ruthless and burning.

“Too bad you’re not coming on my fingers, today,” he says before kissing your neck and emptying your dripping pussy, then proceeding to taste and lick his own fingers in his mouth. He lets them out with a small pop, and it’s the most terrifying sight you’ve ever had in front of your almost watering eyes. “I’m sorry I won the bet, though, your pussy is the sweetest I’ve ever tasted.”

That’s the high and dry story of how you first met Jimin.

/

 The second time it happens, it’s under completely different circumstances, and, substantially, against your every predictions, it really happens. It takes place, like a once in a lifetime event: there’s an orgasm involved, not due to the very charming and never disappointing Jeon jungkook the robotic version, and instead it involves a rather attractive asshole with a persistent smirk plastered on his face.

Except it’s a lot more complicated than what it sounds, and most of it is Seulgi’s fault.

Your roommate had pouted all evening, because that’s what semi adults do when they’re denied a companion for the night.

“I just wanna get wasted. It’s been one hell of a month, and you know how I get when I’m stressed.”

“I can suggest you a vibrator and a bottle of vodka. Do you settle for that, your honor?”

“The more you talk like this,” all self-absorbed and assertive and cautiously, like when talking to a kid, she begins, hands in her long, mahogany hair, “the more I just wanna push you up against the wall.”

“Sounds to me you just wanna get laid.”

“Maybe I do,” she huffs, hands on her hips, the light of your abat-jour highlighting her golden skin. “Maybe I don’t. What I know is that I wanna get wasted. Come with me, pretty please?”

“Look,” you raise your eyes from the book you’ve been holding, stretching a leg onto the unmade bed of yours, “I just wanna get this fucking paper done. I need,” you grip the phone on the bed table, checking for the white, large numbers on your lock screen, “an hour. An hour and half to edit it and I’m all yours.”

“This paper is due on Thursday, though.”

“Yeah, but I have a reputation to uphold in the family. Have to be the most beautiful and successful.”

“You’re full of shit,” are her last words, muttered with a smile as she grabs her jacket.

“Hey,” you call, stretching your neck towards her, “I don’t care if it’s two am and you’re already wasted. Call me and I’ll come to you with a whole bottle of vodka to make it up to you. Hell, I’ll even kiss you goodnight.”

“I don’t wanna make out with you, you freak.”

“You didn’t say that last time, baby!”

 Seulgi

[2.13]

wassup bitch

make out with meeeeeeeeeeeeee

[location shared]

com n get me littl nuggrt

 Not Sober Seulgi is probably the worst Seulgi you have ever dealt with. You let out a sigh, eyeing the frat dorm all lit up and vibrating to the trashy trap music the insiders are jamming to.

Of course, when it comes to Not Sober Seulgi, there’s boys involved. Frat boys involved. At first, you don’t pay attention to the details, the signs, surrounding you like blinding traffic lights signalling stop stop stop, all red and striking. The thought doesn’t cross your mind, the dots connecting in some hidden part of your brain not making your insides short circuit—instead you’re knocking on the door, then banging on the very wooden entrance until a face shows up; the dorm is dimly lit, and the face is partially lightened by a soft, hued red and, that, too, Future You pinpoints, should have been a sign.

It’s useless, anyway, because you hear the insider talk and you’re burning instantly, like after touching a steaming, hot cup of coffee, except that bitter coffee is still good coffee. Smug Jimin plus bitter you isn’t really sweet, nor a match made in heaven. It’s chaotic, a caustic explosion, and you both know it, judging from the sharp smile he offers you, after blinking lazily at your figure.

“This is a mixer party only,” his soothing voice welcomes you, “Do you have an invite?”

You press your tongue on your teeth, mouth carefully closed.

“Yeah, from Hell, I’ve come to take a fallen angel.”

“Sorry to break it to you, oh-kind-lady, but we didn’t give any invite to poor, damned souls.”

“Too bad I don’t give a fuck about your policies, then,” you move towards the small space between the door and Jimin’s body, but he interferes, placing himself right between the two. “Look, I don’t give a single fuck about this party.”

“Yeah, it sure looks like it.”

You roll your eyes. “My friend is here. She’s most certainly not sober and I’ve come to pick her up. That’s it. Do you think I want to be here, among these drunk, perverted jocks?”

He turns around, stretching his neck, his eyes darting through the crowd, inhibited by alcohol, smelling like cheap beer and weed. The moment his eyes bore into yours, though, it’s terrifying; it’s a rustled reminder of Seokjin’s wedding Jimin, and you don’t like it. You loathe it. You dread it.

“Maybe only some of us.”

He tips his head, lips curving into a timid, small smile, and you tear your gaze from his lips in a heartbeat.

“Yeah, keep dreaming of it. I just want my friend back.” You point your chin towards the amalgam of drunk party animals, “I’ll leave you to your immensely interesting activities, then.”

“What if,” he begins, “You don’t. Or—even better scenario, you leave with me.”

“Best case scenario, I leave with my friend. You stay here.”

“What’s the worst-case scenario, then?”

You cock a brow at him, crossing your arms on your chest. “I leave with my friend, you stay here. Sometime before me leaving, you’re punched. Or kicked. I don’t know. There’s a high chance I’ll throw a drink on you.”

“That implies you’ll be here long enough to grab a drink, doesn’t it? And you don’t have to ruin my shirt to get me naked, babe. Just ask nicely.”

You huff, and you’re mildly tempted to shove him against a wall. Or ruin him. Not in the funny way. More like the high and dry way, the one he knows so well. “I changed my mind, I’ll kick you.”

“Ask nicely?” His teasing tone makes your cheeks flush, and you hope the shitplace with subdued lightening can cover it. His expression shifts into an arrogant one, full smirk and little dimples out, so your cute guess is that he can see. He sees his effect on you, albeit completely unwanted and full of hatred from your side, and he enjoys it. Actually lulls in it, letting out a small laugh which, in turn, makes his eyes turn into crescents, all warm and cute—all things he’s not. All things you know he’s not.

“Ask nicely,” you repeat, rolling the words on your tongue, “Okay, babe. Let’s do this, babe. What do you want from me, babe?”

“Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe the answer is you?”

“Yes, actually,” you sigh, fingers brushing his neck, face comically close to his perfect, chiselled one, “That’s exactly what I thought when you stopped fingering me.”

“Right,” Jimin has the audacity to smile, craning his neck as if to close the distance between you in order to meet you for a kiss, “I’m a man of word, thought. You should be impressed.”

“I’m pretty sure the only thing that’s impressed is your face under the orgasm denial definition. Google it, babe, I guarantee you the meaning comes with your name and a brilliant review of one star.”

“Unlike you.” He licks his lips, eyes on your pretty pink ones, smeared with venom, “You’re not coming.” He explains, to further ignite your rage.

“And whose fault is that, babe?”

Jimin nuzzles into your neck, cupping your other cheek with his rough palm, and his thumb stills on your throat, right where your breath is stuck. He adds pressure on it, lips fondling your burning skin, his usual smirk plastered on them.

“Let me make it up to you.”

“You’re not fucking me,” you spit back, mouth now millimetres away from his, gently inviting you to kiss it, and cherish it, and biting it until you’re satisfied with the hot result.

“I’ll eat you out? Until you come.” He hums. “You’ll come.”

His voice is a mere strangled sound, wanting and dripping with need, and you snap out of it with a small smile.

“Nice offer,” your smile is wicked as you scrape his nape with a feathery touch, the slow movement rousing a flutter in your lower belly. “But get in line, babe.”

His shell-shocked face is the last thing you see before you fulfil the let’s rescue Seulgi! party.

 (“Why do you smell like softener?” Seulgi sniffs you, arms looped loosely around your neck, eyes completely shut down. It’s a nice sight, all things considered. You’re no angel, no saint, no perfect person, but you’re a nice friend, and that’s probably the most Seokjin trait you recognize in yourself. It’s your shared apartment, and it’s past 3 am and you’re the one good friend who keeps her promises. “It’s strawberry vodka, you heathen.”)

 The line turns out to be a real line, queue line, let’s get this coffee line, which, well. How can one word it, how can one phrase it fully catching the irony of it all, the distinctive je ne sais quoi of life without—

“Nice to see you here.”

It’s the perfect set for a rom-com, you notice, taking in the warm scenery around you. What else can one dream of, right? The campus coffee shop, the campus hot not-really-but-also-kinda fuckboy Jimin, partial jock to give him credit, full time attractive idiot with a tendency for orgasm denial. Really.

“What are the chances?” You exhale, voice devoid of emotions. For the sake of your parents’ integrity, you suppose, because they raised no impolite woman, of course, you turn around to face the angel-like human being, black hair partially covering his forehead, little dimples on full display. That’s—that is lack of integrity, or indecency or au-fucking-dacity. It might as well be a mix of the above-mentioned possibilities, all fitting and nurturing you because he’s gorgeous. He’s handsome. Jimin’s the most attractive human being you’ve ever seen in your life, and it’s not fair.

(Beside the fact that you’ve lived with Kim Seokjin, for fuck’s sake)

He pokes his own cheek, and you bask into the otherworldly scenario that takes place right in front of your caffeine deprived eyes. It’s a sight for sore, soft eyes, and it’s the end of the world as you know it, because it’s morning, too early to properly function like a normal human being, but there he is. There he is, Jimin, channelling his inner boyfriend material aura, oozing off boyfriend smell, nice, fresh, aftershave smell, rocking a stupid sweater and the messiest black mop of hair.

It’s honestly a tragedy, and you won’t stand for it. You will make a move—

“You’re squinting your eyes, like, real tight. Are you alright?”

Just ogling you, your drowsy mind offers, the fucking cheater.

“Yeah,” you reply, swallowing a lump in your dry throat, “Just need coffee. A latte. Anything.”

You move forward in the queue, and as you blink you realize it’s your turn, until it’s not anymore. Jimin carefully and gently moves you out of the way, brushing with the softest touch your side.

“A latte and an iced americano, please.”

The sweetened order for two turns into a hushed thank you, a tipped smile, a flutter of you heart. It’s drinks still half full, his curious gaze darting on your lips, your defences down. It’s unfair, because in a hot second all this pent-up tension shifts into a light, chaste kiss, your back pressed against the coffee shop’s restroom; your chest heaves under his tantalizing make-out session with your neck, followed by his frantic lips pressing on yours, his tongue licking lazily into your mouth, a gasp easing its way out of your warm and eager mouth. It’s a hot-blooded supercut, each frame announced by a starving moan, a content sigh, and, before you realise it, you’re on your bed, Jimin hovering on top of you.

It’s Saturday morning, you hum to yourself, fingers sliding into his hair, all’s in check. There’s a warm body slumped on yours, his tongue swerving on your lower lip and his hips shyly bucking between your open legs. Your panties are drenched, you can feel his hard on through the jeans and, really, all’s in check.

He nudges your nose with his. “Lemme eat you out.”

The answer lies sitting on the tip of your tongue, right next to an obnoxious remark that you hope will rile him up enough for him to rip your underwear, which you definitely won’t complain about. However, the words don’t come out, they slur in your craving mouth the second he gets up and shoves you toward the end of your unmade bed, spreading your naked legs open with his calloused palms.

“Nice skirt,” he comments, voice a rasp, eyeing the drenched, lilac underwear, skirt at this point gone up to cover your stomach. “I just want…”

He shuffles closer, enough for you to feel his hot breath on your core, and that’s when Jimin pulls the panties on a side, teasing you with little licks to your entrance. You’re responsive, too eager for anything to quench your thirst that you sigh happily at the barest of actions, gripping strands of his hair. Jimin chuckles, engulfing the throbbing clit in his mouth in one go and drawing desperate moans out of your cute, devilish mouth.

“Fuckboy move,” you emit, voice cracking at the pressure of his warm mouth, “Oh, oh. Fuck…”

He replies flattening his tongue on your core, then licking and lapping against your dripping folds. Jimin positively glows at the cries you let out, face slobbering with your arousal while driving you insane, fucking with his tongue like his life depended on it. It’s almost a spiritual experience, a crescendo of wails and sobs, his face drown in your pussy and his tongue paying reverence to your approaching orgasm. He can feel it in the way you writhe, in his hand splaying over your stomach, keeping you still while he eats you religiously, forehead beaded with sweat.

You come with a trembling hand in his hair, the other flicking your bare nipple, back slightly arched and a lewd mewl; Jimin takes in the way your body trembles, your breath all staggered because of him, and the sight alone is enough for him to cum in his pants with a grunt, completely untouched.

The second time it happens is, coincidentally, the first time Jimin knows there’s no turning back from this.

/

Complicated is a big word when it comes to relationship, you reckon, emitting something akin to a gasp, truly soap operas worthy material, but, for the first time in your life, you decide to name it this way.

Being with Jimin is… complicated, for starters. Especially because you’re not with Jimin, in the strict, relationship-wise meaning. He knows your favourite colour (“Why the fuck you only own purple underwear?” “It’s lilac, dick, watch your mouth.” “Watch your own mouth, babe. You’re the one on your knees.”), your favourite food (“But you like having your mouth stuffed with my cock, honey.” You sigh, blushing. “First of all, I’m talking about real food. That amazing steak kind of food—“

“I’ll show you real meat, babe.”

“Gross. Gross. How can I cancel the last five seconds of my life?”

“Come here, Jared, nineteen,” he half smiles, tilting his head, “I’ll get us fries.”), your favourite movie (“We can’t get each other off every time your ugly paper cap fits—oh,” you suck in a breath, Jimin flicking his tongue on your turgid nipple, “oh, god, don’t stop.”), your best friend’s name (“I condone you dicking her so good she sometimes cries, you know, I just don’t when I’m in the room next to hers and all I can hear is my best friend trying to formulate a single coherent word but failing because you’re pounding her mercilessly into the mattress.” Jimin chuckles, grabbing his jacket before holding the doorknob. “She begged, Seulgi.”)—so what? It’s not like you sat down and decided not to ask each other dumb questions, so that you could find out in the funny, kinky way. For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even decide on anything, didn’t even talk about talking, because the relationship related shit didn’t even cross your mind.

It’s even quite fucking hard for it to cross it, because half the time you’re together you’re either both naked – except for the time he pleaded for the tartan mini to stay – or stuffing your mouth with food—because, if there’s something you’ve learned after one too many hook-ups with him is that this kind of sex requires strength. Like, actual, physical strength, if we’re not talking about the this test is draining me please fuck me until I can’t walk sex. Which, yeah, 10/10 would recommend. That was the day Seulgi decided to invest in ear plugs while muttering capitalism, here I come.

You also came.

Funnily enough, guess who also came. Not in the funny, kinky way. Think about the grossest thing, imagine the beyond the bounds of possibility, sprinkle it with Jimin earnestly shoving his dick down your throat, stir it with a poor Taehyung brushing his teeth next to the both of you, a step away from the shower, and serve it on the most expensive plate in the kitchen, a recipe not approved by Kim Seokjin.

Yeah, you mentally roll your eyes, licking your lips clean, at eye-level with your sorta enemy with benefits’ pretty dick: the married brother of yours, former fratboy, taller than your current will to live.

In hindsight, maybe it is Seokjin’s fault. Once you’re married, you’re supposed to be committed to the cause, and sometimes, an angry little crumb in you finds the audacity to speak, the cause is made up of your four walls: ergo home, ergo your married life, miles away from the absurdity that once filled his university days. You’re being hypocritical, you realize, skin wet, body trembling. In the simplest, most hedonistic terms, you’re done with the chaos in this fraternity and just wished that hooking up was easier. It’s more than a stolen orgasm, a random spur of pleasure and free de-stresser; it’s also something not quite like art but just as peculiar. Sex with Jimin is more than nice, more than a fast rummage of clothes on the floor and panties teared, or condoms stuffed in every single pocket of his jacket.

It should also be noticed that it’s been one hell of a stressful week, okay, which means that it’s one of those times you seek for naked intimacy, in its least literal meaning. You’re looking for something sure, something silent, something earnest. Jimin gives you that in the simplest of forms, in the easiest of ways. It’s not fair for your brother to come unannounced and burst into the house with his adorable laugh and love for his own brothers. Way to ruin the moment, bro.

Jimin blinks attentively when Taehyung laughs, clapping his hands all happy and following the elder’s voice outside the bathroom.

“I’m getting you my clothes.”

“Wait, what?”

His lips part just enough for his tongue to wet them, and your eyes follow in silence the gesture.

“I mean,” he starts, grabbing a towel, “You either come out with me from this bathroom or you don’t.”

He’s concise, yet harsh, words uttered with those soft lips yet are just as hot as a slap in your face. He’s telling the truth, but you soon find out you don’t really like it.

There’s something abrupt and severe in those chosen words, so well picked out because they’re not meant to hurt, but at the same time they’re so worrying. So terrible, practically as hard as a punch in your guts.

You either come out of the bathroom with him — you had been blowing minutes before, hadn’t you? Quite the intimacy, huh? — or you don’t. You stay behind. Different rooms, a whole door to separate you while he’s out with the people he cares about.

Seems legit, but. It’s unfair. You know Jimin isn’t choosing for you, but it’s obvious he’s inclined towards an option between the two, and you’re terrified to discover whether it’s his own desire pushing or what he thinks you want.

You, instead, push the thought aside when you nod, taking the towel from his hands and covering your body from this terrific half hook-up.

Because that’s what it is—that’s what you are.

It dawns upon you like a cold breeze hitting your face in full December, suddenly, and that’s when you realize winter is near. In your mind, this hooking up scenario seemed nicer. Sounded softer, a cute bubble moving slowly in the air.

But now—well, now the bubble has burst, and it feels wrong, and this unexpected wrong doesn’t feel right in your chest, and that’s the story of how you leave the house escaping from his window, in his clothes, with vision blurred by hot, stupid, idiotic tears.

/

Seulgi is the first one to notice, and, obviously, the first one to speak.

“Something’s been bothering you,” she says, head tilted in a way that’s supposed to be emphatic and worried but comes off as stiff and terrified. “Care to share?”

It’s just a wholesome amount of terrifying stuff, isn’t it? First the shower incident, now Seulgi’s ways not working around you anymore. What’s next? Avoiding Jimin for a whole week? Blocking his number? Losing the smart and beautiful title to your obnoxious brother?

You wouldn’t be surprised, really. Shit like this always happens at the same fucking time.

“It’s nothing. A stressful couple days, maybe? Or maybe I’m getting sick. There’s a guy always coughing during Physics. Maybe it’s his fault, who knows.”

Seulgi unlocks her phone, an unreadable gaze studying you. She gives up a second later, though, her weak maybe reaching your ears when you’ve already looked down on your book.

One simply cannot be annoyed because of a half hook up. Christ. You deserve better than that. You have some dignity left, tainted by everything that’s not Jimin and his harsh, stupid words.

So, your mind offers, while you squint your eyes, I suppose there’s nothing else you could do about it.

Nothing else besides acknowledging it and moving on.

Sounds like a plan. A fireproof plan, an escape plan, something detailed and precise. Planned to work out smoothly; planned to be executed without pain or mistakes.

/

It’s seven sharp when he knocks, takeout in his left hand, eyes bulging because it’s fucking freezing outside.

“It’s fucking freezing, what the fuck.” He says out loud, indeed. What he receives as an answer is the sound of your tongue clicking, the biggest amount of interest you’ve shown towards him the whole week. He would finally exhale, weren’t it for the fact that this is still pretty traumatic, because if there’s something he’s learned while orbiting around you, is that you’re constantly awake and aware of your surroundings. Your body language says that you pay attention to him, or Seulgi, or whoever you’re talking to. You follow the guy with your eyes, and you listen and nod in all the right places during a conversation, and you search for his dark gaze when he’s fucking you in the dimly lit bedroom, the bed creaking under your sweaty sex making. He’s not admitting it, he never will, and he’ll pretty much deny this to everyone who will ask but: there’s something hot about it. Something burning with the way your body reacts to him, when your eyes follow his actions, while your voice falters when he fucks you right, and it somehow pushes him to the edge every time. It’s the equivalent of Jungkook getting a boner in the gym while catching girls and boys drooling at him, except he’s talking about you and your crazy moans, your magic aura.

And yes, okay, fucking blame him, the realization alone made him jerk off in his room like a teen, twice, yesterday. That’s a fact. That’s barely a fact, alright? This is a truth; a statement soon forgot by the knowers. Obviously.

You look spent, he thinks, if he had to choose a word, dared by some arrogant deity to define the current mess you were. He glances at your barely done ponytail, at the tiredness written all over your face. He takes in your baggy sweater, your quiet beauty, knowing this is gonna be one of those nights you take a step back.

He doesn’t say anything though, instead he brushes the hair on your forehead, not even making contact with your skin.

You grab the bag from his hands, shivering instantly and hoping he doesn’t read the signs. They’re—they’re there, you know, you’re collecting them slowly, one after another, grabbing one and looking cautiously for the following one, hoping it’s not there. Hoping it doesn’t exist.

You exhale a sigh, disguising it as cough, a noise, something distracting Jimin from his silent staring, which is, funnily enough, loud and cacophonic.

“Hungry,” you state, the single word weighting more because of the soft pout on your lips. Jimin hates that he knows what it means, that it’s gonna be just the two of you this time, no chill whatsoever, no bodies touching and melting against each-other. He’s not complaining, what the fuck, he’s not an idiot. He’s not even mad, he’s just—accepting, on a level. This is the point of no return, he guesses, following you on the couch and admiring the laptop’s screen reflected on your face.

He doesn’t say anything when you search for Brooklyn 99 on Netflix, because he’d say everything, otherwise. He’d mumble something along the lines of this feels real, we could do this all the time, or, worst of all: I like this. I like you.

So, in order: he tugs at your sleeves and scoots you closer to him, and you say absolutely nothing at the gesture. He’s ecstatic on the inside, partially terrified, mostly delusional. He pretends he’s something more when you lean on him, the slightest pressure of your head on his shoulder. He cares zero fucks about the show when he’s breathing your scent in and feels how warm you are and shuts his eyelids down when he pictures you adoring him. Liking him. Liking him a whole lot more—

He’s fucked, he realises, hours later, when you doze off and he has to carry you to bed, something you claim of loathing, which—what on earth. It’s an unfathomable absurdity, that’s what it is.

“You can stay.”

His voice falters. “What?”

You cough, eyes closed as you speak sinful words: “The night, I mean. It’s fucking freezing outside.”

His lips form a small o, and it’s hot all of a sudden. “Alright,” he manages, staring at you on your bed, hands fidgety and heartbeat accelerated for some reason, “Make space for me. Hey, fucker. I’m serious. Let me in.”

You do.

(to be continued. ily)

#BTS jimin #bts #bts fic #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts scenario #bts smut #bts social media au #bts imagine #bts imagines #jimin imagine #jimin #jimin smut #jimin bts #jimin x reader

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

[not-close-to-straight]

Sugar, Sugar (Five)

Drum roll please...  we actually mention a brief bit of real plot this chapter. See that? The story won’t just be plotless stuckony shenanigans. There’s Real Things that might eventually happen.

MASTERLIST HERE

*************

“Tony?” Pepper used her keys to open the door to Sweet Peach Bakery and then locked it behind her. No one was on the street at six am, but she wasn’t about to take any chances. “Hey Tony? Where are you?” 

“Office!” came the muffled answer, and with a quick stop to grab a still warm croissant off a tray, Pepper hurried her way towards the back of the shop. 

“What are you doing here so early?” She asked, and then, “And oh my god this croissant is so good, when did you start making these?” 

“Didn’t make them.” Tony’s hair was reaching excessive heights of fluffiness this morning and Pepper had to push the mess down just so she could smoosh a kiss to his forehead. “Had a distributor come by with samples. Croissants that just need to be proofed, pre filled turnovers, all that sort of thing. On one hand, I will never have enough time to make croissants from scratch so this is a good alternative. On the other hand, I actually cried putting pre made, frozen bread into the over this morning to bake.” 

“Well, these are delicious, and I think you’re being dramatic and ridiculous.” Pepper perched on the edge of Tony’s desk, poking curiously at a frosting bag full of something chocolate. “What’s this?” 

“Guinness and cocoa.” Tony kept scribbling at purchase forms. “The flavor is supposed to get better the longer it sits so I’ve got a timer and I’m tasting once an hour to see if I notice an improvement.” 

“Mm-hmm” Pepper raised her eyebrows curiously. “Sounds... delicious and like something I’ll be eating immediately. Oh hey, tell me about your date with Steve and Bucky last night.” 

“It wasn’t a date.” Tony said absentmindedly. “And uh, it went an awful lot like this.” 

The frosting bag splgrhrhrd-ed  when he pushed at it, a blurt of frosting falling thick and creamy all over the desk. 

“Tony!” Pepper screeched and Tony retorted, “Hey! You asked how it went, that’s how it went! That sorta noise and everything!” 

“TONY!” 

“You knew who I was when you decided to love me.” 

 “Oh for fucks sake--” Pepper swiped a finger through the frosting and sucked it into her mouth. “I’m mad that I’m eating this after you said that, but this is honestly amazing.” 

“Good and guinnessy?” 

“Enough that I feel like I could get drunk if you hadn’t cooked the alcohol out of it.” 

“Well here, I can solve that for.” Tony felt around under his desk and puled a can of beer out, cracked the top and pushed it his favorite Bridezilla. “Drink up.” 

“It’s six o clock in the morning, Tony.” Pepper protested, but when he only looked at her, she sighed and took a sip. “You encourage me to do terrible things. Between the beer and the croissants and the cupcakes, I’ll never fit into my wedding dress.” 

Tony finally pushed the forms aside and tasted the frosting himself. “My god, this is good. I’m a genius. And don’t worry about your dress. You got a corset back gown for exactly this occasion. Ten pounds cos I won’t stop feeding you isn’t going to ruin anything. You are the most radiant bride at any wedding, in any city, at any size.” 

“I love you very much.” Pepper stuffed the last bite of croissant into her mouth and gave him another kiss. “Which brings me to the actual point of my visit.” 

“Is this about Rhodey’s bachelor party?” 

“It’s about Rhodey’s bachelor party.” she confirmed. “He gave me a list of all the unacceptable activities you’ve threatened him with in the last three months, he also gave me a list of all unacceptable locations for his party, as well as a list of colors he doesn’t want to see...” 

The pretty redhead pulled out several pieces of paper from her purse and shuffled through them. “Oh, here’s the color one. It um-- it only has one word on it.” 

“Is the word neon?” Tony grinned. “ With a circle around and multiple lines through it?”

“Yes it is.” 

“Excellent.” 

“Tell me more about your non date.” Pepper put the lists away and went back to eating frosting. “Which one of them railed you and where did it happen. And don’t ruin my frosting by splooging it again, alright? Just once was bad enough.” 

“I didn’t actually get railed.” Tony frowned a little. “Dunno if my apron game was off or my leggings weren’t quite thotty enough--” Pepper snorted. “-- or what. But Steve got down on his knees and quite literally sucked my brain out through the hole in my--” 

“ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!” 

“--in my frosting bag while Bucky got up behind me and tried to fuck me through my pants. And I definitely thought they’d strip me naked and help me ruin my new couches, but after I finished they just sorta...” Tony shrugged. “Kissed me? Kissed each other? Told me they’d see me tonight and then left.” 

“Wait wait wait.” Pepper held up her hand to stop his rambling. “So these two amazingly hot men--” 

“--like stupidly hot, yeah.” 

“-- are into you. The blond gets down on his knees to give you a blow job while the brunette tries to get you pregnant over your pants--” 

“-- i love you for phrasing it like that.” 

“-- and then when you’re ready to reciprocate, they leave?” 

“Yeah.” he frowned a little. “Yeah, I don’t get it. I mean, I showed them my new couches and everything. I wore low rise leggings and my frilliest apron and made that weird noise I make when I finish way more intense than I expected to? All signs pointed to ‘stay here and let me ride you’ and they left.” 

“I feel like showing people couches and making weird noises aren’t really valid forms of communication.” she pointed out, and Tony retorted, “I’ve seen you cross your legs in a specific way and Rhodey practically strips right then and there. Don’t talk to me about valid forms of communication.”

“I’m just saying--!” Pepper raised her voice when Tony started laughing. “I’m just saying, maybe instead of provocatively mentioning furniture and using aprons for flirting, you use your words like a damn adult and tell those boys what you want from them!” 

“But I don’t want anything from them.” He maintained. “Except to quite literally ride Bucky’s face and see what that mouth do, and also to bent over and broke in half by Steve’s dick. I didn’t even get to see it last night but his old man khaki’s don’t leave a whole lot to the imagination so... yep. I think we’re fine.” 

“All that lovely imagery aside.” Tony laughed again when Pepper rubbed at her temples like she had a headache already. “You’ve spent the better part of a month seeing them every single night, the better part of a month talking to me and James about them... would it be the worst to admit that maybe you do want something from them?” 

Tony clenched his jaw, and just that quickly every bit of easy going was stripped from their morning together.

“I’m not trying to make you mad, honey.” Pepper softened her voice and reached for Tony’s hand. “But I know you so so well and I know you fall in love really quickly and I also know-- no no no, Tony wait!” 

Tony pushed away from the desk and headed back into the bakery and Pepper scrambled after him. “Tony! Just wait a second!” 

“You are not allowed to talk to me about how quickly I fall in love.” Tony grabbed the tray of pre made croissants and tossed them in the trash, throwing the pan down with a clang. “You are not allowed to tell me I want more than-- than sex from Steve and Bucky. Cos I don’t. And even if I did--” 

“Oh Tony--” 

“-- even if I did!” he yelled. “You aren’t allowed to say it because you promised-- after Italy, you promised--” 

“Okay stop.” Pepper grabbed his hands before Tony went for a knife to start chopping up fruit. “Tony stop. I’m sorry I said anything, alright? You’re right, I shouldn’t say that and after Italy I promised I wouldn't say anything.” 

“But?” Tony challenged. “But? Because I know there’s one. What else are you going to say?” 

“...that maybe the fact that you’re so mad right now means I’m probably right?” Pepper finished in a whisper. “But I am sorry for saying anything. Sorry. Don’t be mad at me, you know I love you.” 

“... I love you too.” Tony finally relaxed and Pepper leaned in to kiss him gently. “And I’m sorry for getting so mad. I just-- still a little sore, yeah? Still a little sore.” 

“I know you are.” She held him close for a long minute. “I won’t tell Rhodey, alright? This whole thing is just between me and you.” 

“Thanks.” Tony paused. “I’m doing neon for Rhodey’s bachelor party though. I already ordered three hundred glow sticks, several gallons of shockingly colored body paint and the ugliest fedora’s ever and I’m not returning them.” 

“Yep, that’s fair.” 

“...all I want from Steve and Bucky is sex.” he said again, softer this time. “It’s sort of gross how much they love each other and I’d never try to get in the way of that. They are so sweet together and I can’t figure out why the hell they’d need to spice up their sex life by adding me but I’m definitely not complaining. The last month has been super fun and honestly after the year I’ve had, fun is all I can handle right now.” 

“Okay sweetheart.” Pepper plucked one of the croissants off the top of the pile and took a big bite. “I love you, okay? I’ll call you tonight if you aren’t busy emptying your frosting bag onto Steve’s face.” 

“Oh no, it’s Bucky’s turn for that mess.” 

Pepper laughed herself right out of the bakery and half way down the street before the giggles finally subsided, and the moment they did, she picked up her phone to call her fiancee.

“Hey baby.” 

“It’s been an entire year and it honestly doesn’t occur to Tony that Steve and Bucky are hanging around for any other reason than to spice up their sex life.” 

“It’s six thirty in the morning, Pep. Why are we talking about Tony’s sex life?”

“Well I--” 

“No actually, that’s not that weird. What’s weird is that you’re talking about Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass at six thirty in the morning. You know my rule. We can talk about Tony but we cannot talk about whatever idiot Tony is banging.” 

“Idiots, in this case my love.”  Pepper corrected. “And I don’t actually care about them. What I do care about is that Tony is still so damaged that it doesn’t occur to him that he’s good for anything other than something fun for a couple.” 

“Well, he tells them he only wants something fun.”

“And you’ve known Tony way too long to think that’s true in any way, shape, or form. Tony falls in love with the people who bring him coffee cos they smile at him. There’s no way he doesn’t desperately want to be in a relationship again.” 

“Pep.” Rhodey groaned on the other line. “You weren’t here when Tony first came home from Italy. You know Isabella fucked him up, but you have no idea how deep it goes, alright? If he says he just wants fun with the Tweedles, let him lie to himself and to us and to whoever else he wants to cos Tony needs to at least pretend he’s okay, alright?” 

“But--” 

“Did you tell him no neon at my bachelor party?” 

Pepper pursed her lips. “Yes. Yes I told him, and yes he promised to listen.” 

“It’s something involving terrible fedoras, isn’t it?” 

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Man, I hate fedoras.”

****************

****************

“Heya baby-cakes.” Bucky had a super soft smile for his very sleepy boyfriend when Steve finally made it out of bed. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I have the worst case of blue balls in the world.” Steve stretched and yawned and Bucky watched with no small amount of interest as all that skin lit up in the morning sun. “How is it that Tony got a blow job last night and you got a blow job last night but I did not get a blow job last night?” 

“Hmmm.” Bucky waggled his eyebrows and took a big bite of his breakfast. “Seems’ta me if you would’a came in your pants like history has shown ya do, your balls wouldn’t hurt.” 

“Seema’ta me you should quit mouth fucking that peach and join me in the shower so I don’t have to jerk off alone like a damn teenager.” Steve retorted. “M’standing here naked Buck. I’m dating you for a reason and it’s not cos you’re brilliant. Get the hell in there.” 

“Yeah, I’m coming.” Bucky finished slurping at the fruit and tossed the pit away. “You want a blow job or for me to fuck you stupid?” 

“Would it kill you to be a little bit romantic?” 

“You wanna be romantic or do you want me to get you off? You can’t have it both ways, Stevie. That ain’t the way th’world works.” 

“Seriously, why do I love you?” Steve yanked Bucky’s pajama pants down and pulled him into the water. “And not on the same page at all, I was sorta surprised you let me have Tony last night. Figured you’d be all over that.” 

“Wanted to watch you and Tony together.” Bucky grunted when Steve pushed the soap into his hands and then all but humped at his thigh impatiently. “Sure was gorgeous. You were sorta suffocating when he finished, but you should’a heard the noises Tony made. Fuckin’ beautiful. And you got all flushed and pretty and greedy with it? Love that, baby. So hot.” 

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Steve threw his head back and gasped when Bucky closed a slick palm around him. “Okay but next time with Tony--” 

“Stop talking and let me take care of you.” Bucky interrupted, wrapping a strong arm around Steve’s waist and holding him steady. “Or do you still wanna be halfway to dyin’ when we sit down and talk about all the ways I’m gonna juice Tony’s peach the first chance I get?”

“Fuck--” Steve screwed his eyes up tight. “You gonna-- fuck, Bucky. Is that why you were eating a peach this morning? Practicing?” 

“Please baby doll.” Bucky drawled, gripping hard at Steve’s ass and working his fingers in exactly where the blond needed them. “I don’t need any practice, you know damn well I can eat a peach for hours.” 

....

....

...later, after Steve had come embarrassingly fast thinking about Bucky eating Tony’s peach for hours-- later, they switched spots under the warm spray so Steve could work shampoo into Bucky’s long hair, scratching at his scalp and smiling fondly when the big brunette basically purred over it. 

“You’re a sap.” he informed him, and Bucky tossed back, “Says the guy who’s barely standing after blowing the tip of his dick off. It was a hand job, Stevie. Not even my best work.” 

“Fuck off.” Steve said tiredly. “Let’s talk about last night. Did you notice--” 

“-- how disappointed Tony looked when we left?” Bucky finished. “Sure did. You don’t think he took it personal, do you? Just feel like maybe a bakery isn’t the right place to get nekkid, you know?” 

“Yeah I feel like Tony would regret letting us mess up his bake table.” Steve agreed. “And it’s not like we ran outta there, we stayed and kissed for a while until he wasn’t so loopy.” 

“I think it’s alright.” Bucky decided. “Course since he won’t give us his damn phone number we can’t text or nothin’ to make sure his feelings weren’t hurt but we’ll see him tonight.” 

“Gonna fuck him tonight?” 

“I dunno.” he answered honestly. “Feel like the first time we really hook up should be where there’s a bed, right? Blow jobs behind th’counter are one thing, full on getting humpy with it--” Steve cackled with laughter and Bucky grinned. “-- should be somewhere soft and somewhere where the mess isn’t a health code violation, yeah?” 

“Do you think he’s as crazy about us as we are about him?” Steve asked then. “I mean, we went from ‘all we need is each other’ to practically climbing over each other to get to Tony. Think he cares even a little bit?” 

“He’s gotta care a little bit.” Bucky ducked back under the water to rinse the suds away. “Don’t think it’s anything serious though. Only been like a month, Stevie. Nothin’ serious can happen in a month.” 

“We were in love in a month.” 

“No, after a month we’d hit thirty solid days of my dick in your ass.” Bucky countered. “It was at least another month before we even managed a real date, Stevie. That wasn’t love that was-- that was you bein’ way too hot and me not knowin’ the meaning of the words ‘at ease’.” 

“Say what you want.” Steve kissed Bucky’s nose gently. “But I know full well you were head over heels in love with me.” 

“Lies.” Bucky kissed him right back. “Absolute fuckin’ slander. Take it back right now.” 

“Oh honey.” Steve budged closer and kissed him again, sweeping his fingers into Bucky’s hair and holding him close for a long time, brushing his fingers over Bucky’s cheekbones and murmuring soft things when Bucky went real soft against him. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” Bucky said gruffly. “Since the first time you let me at your apple.” 

“..my butt is an apple?” 

“Could bounce a quarter off it baby. Buns of steel but still so so juicy!” 

“Damn it, Bucky.” 

****************

****************

“Hey guys.” Tony was still working on chocolate and guinness frosting when Bucky and Steve showed up that night. “How’s it going?” 

“Stevie’s got blue balls and I’ve been thinkin’ bout your butt all day.” Bucky grabbed onto Tony’s apron strings and yanked him in for a thorough, messy kiss. “How about you?” 

“I’ve got to finish this frosting and rewrite my recipe so it doesn’t look like chicken scratch and thennnnnn....” Tony laughed softy when Steve gave him an equally thorough kiss. “.... then I think we should do something about Steve’s blue balls. New couches?” 

“Super excited to ruin your new couches, yep.” Bucky eyed the mixing bowl curiously. “Is that something I can eat?” 

“It’s something you can smear on my tummy and lick off.” Tony called over Steve’s shoulder as the blond backed him towards the office. “Or on my butt! Or on my-- Ack! Steve! STEVE!” 

Laughter from the office and a quiet oof! as they hit the couch and Bucky plucked a big spatula from a nearby box to scoop up a healthy serving of Tony-tummy appropriate frosting. 

And then when he heard Steve sigh and groan, his already deep voice doing that velvet thing Bucky loved so much, he paused for a second to listen to Tony’s breathy answer, a happy giggle and a sweet sweet moan that sounded halfway adoring. 

.... oh man does Tony sort of love us?

*****************

SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE CHAPTER!

****************

@thanossucks @atomicfandombomb @thebuckybrigade @fanfic-up-to-my-tits @starknakedsluts @basiad @everything-is-applepie @kimstark @tulipsnbigcats @in-umbra-gratia @local1dreamer @igotsuckedintothevoid @ahufflepuffnannywriter

@ships-galore @ceealaina @izziebladez @cwar1864 @hausoffro @lookuplaughing @tonystarkisanangel @multishippinglife @girlnic @iam93percentstardust @water-colouredmemories @paranormalmoonlight5 @igotloki @moosette05 @wayward-student-philosopher @kaz-brekkers-gloves @atomicfandombomb  @1fuckingshitup69 @agentlokii

#ncts fics #stuckony #stucky #tony stark #steve rogers #bucky barnes #pepper potts #james rhodey rhodes

[fourangers]

Fate and Choices (ch.08)

Summary: When Naruto discovered who was going to be his soulmate, he jumped straight at this opportunity, looking forward to spending the rest of his life with his better half. Sasuke well…he was less eager in this regard though. NaruSasu. Soulmates tattoos. Explicit.

Warning: rim job, hand job, edging and NaruSasu anal sex.

Chapter 07

AO3 Link

⏤.⏤ 

Sasuke was stirred awake from the familiar noise of his alarm, groaning. He was surrounded by Naruto’s comfortable scent, and all he really wanted was to spend the rest of the day nestled together in bed, savoring arms embracing him from behind. Inhaling, he tightened his hands around those arms before releasing them, stepping out of his bed. He instantly heard a grouchy groan, as Naruto’s fingers clung on his sweatpants. 

“Mmm…com’ back to bed, Sas’ke…” Naruto mumbled, yawning widely.

“We have to work today Naruto, I’m going to be late. C’mon, wake up.” Sasuke extracted himself from Naruto’s clutches, giving two light shakes on the slumbering body.

“GooooooOooood. Don’t wannaaaaa…” Naruto whined, pushing the blanket over his head as he curled inside.

Sasuke rolled his eyes smiling, and began his morning ritual. The usuratonkachi will handle himself then. When he was busy grilling his fish, he felt Naruto hugging him from behind, placing his chin on the shoulder. He peppered kisses on the pale skin, until he began licking, and sucking the neck.

Sasuke groaned, gripping the blond hair. “Nnnngh⏤Naruto, what are you doing?”

“Having breakfast, what else.” The blond man said almost too innocently, while his hands were already groping his ass.

“I’m telling you, dumbass, we have to go to work. I don’t have time for your aaaaaaaah⏤” He moaned, when warm hands slithered inside his sweatpants, digits lingering dangerously close to his entrance.

Naruto shoved down his pants, pulling Sasuke closer as he admired the firm buttocks. He crouched down, widening the asscheeks and gave a langurous lick on the entrance. Sasuke buckled, his legs shivering a little before groaning lustfully when Naruto's tongue speared inside, moist lips caressing the sensitive skin while fingers firmly held his ass. 

"Naruto…fuck." He gasped when teeth scraped on his skin, nose burying on his ass while his lover continued to stimulate him. "I'm going to kill you, we're gonna arrive laaaAaaaaah⏤"     

Naruto snorted, lubed fingers thrusting in the loosen hole, loving how Sasuke kept hissing, moaning helplessly and legs twitching in response. At some point his hips began gyrating, burying deeper as digits kept fucking him, head throwing to the back, lost in those pleasurable sensations. He choked another groan, forehead resting on his own arms, when Naruto restarted penetrating him with his tongue, thumbs pressing on the perineum. 

Naruto let out a hot breath over his hole, before slathering with his tongue, kissing over it and dragging his lips down. He let his teeth playfully scratch the pale skin, hands fondling the firm buttocks, the tip of his tongue teasing and flicking inside. With one long moan while he licked the tight ring, out of nowhere, Naruto raised himself, patting playfully the pale asscheeks. He was going to step back until a hand seized him.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Oh? We should go right? You said you were going to kill me if we arrive late at work.”

Sasuke didn’t even need to turn around to confirm that his boyfriend was wearing a very mischievous grin right now. Nevertheless, he snarled. “I’ll cut your dick off you don’t finish what you started, so get on with it.”

Chuckling, Naruto drug down his jeans, wasting no time in obeying what was requested.

⏤.⏤

15 minutes. He was 15 minutes late all because that dumbass had no ounce of self-control. Sasuke quickened his steps, opening the door and noticing that he was the last one to arrive in his own company. Worst part about all this, is that Naruto wouldn’t arrive as late because the company he worked for was closer than his. 

Suigetsu was walking by, stopping at once when he spotted Sasuke. “Ho-hooooooooo. Are my eyes deceiving me? Did I just see Uchiha Sasuke arriving late for the first time in his life? What happened?” 

Sasuke didn’t answer his enquiry, glaring as he went to his room.

“No answer huh. That only mean one thing: dating Uzumaki must be going very well.” Suigetsu tapped on his chin, contemplating. “Enquiring minds want to know some things though. Did you top or you let him top you?”

Rubbing the bridge between his eyebrows, Sasuke ignored him and turned on his laptop.

“I mean, from what I’ve heard, you topped back when we were in college. But Uzumaki doesn’t look like bottom material. Or maybe he does, can’t get that hot ass goes to waste.”

There was an annoyed twitch in his eye, but otherwise Sasuke remained nonchalant.

“On the other hand, he can’t sit still in our meetings, so I can infer he has a lot of stamina. Which, you know, are good qualities for someone to do the deed. You look like you’d get tired after a few thrusts, honestly.”

Suigetsu didn’t receive any acknowledgement coming from Sasuke but he definitely noticed that the noises of keyboard typing were increasing by the second. 

“Oh, but Uzumaki could ride you then. Hm, just imagining him doing this is really sexy⏤”

“Suigetsu, say one more word and I’ll sue you for harassment.”

His friend raised his hands in mock defeat, turning back towards his seat. He dropped one last thing. “It’d better if Uzumaki topped, because only a dick would loosen up your uptight ass⏤!” He fled to the toilet, Sasuke chasing him hot in his trail.

Meanwhile, in another office, Neji stared in a deadpan with crossed arms.

“You’re eight minutes late.”

Naruto sighed happily, putting coffee on his mug with a goofy grin. “I am, aren’t I? I am, I am.”

Neji observed the dreamy expression on the blond man’s face, the distant look as if he was recalling some really good memories in his mind. “If you’re this late, I can’t imagine how late Sasuke would be then.”

“Yeah, but he’s the boss. What’s the worst that he could get, people teasing him?” Naruto gulped down his coffee, quirking a lopsided smirk. “I mean, it’s not my fault I’m this irresistible. Oh hey, Ayumi-san and Akane-san, good morning!” He frantically waved towards the coworkers that just arrived.

They smiled back. “Morning Naruto-kun! You’re in a good mood, I see.”

“I’m in a great mood.” Naruto beamed. “I feel like this is going to be the start of a great day. You guys are great, this is great, life is great…morning Suzuki-san!”

Neji sighed. The next few weeks are going to be unbearable. 

⏤.⏤ 

In retrospect, reaching this point in their relationship was bound to happen sooner or later. Sasuke would prefer it was a little bit later though, considering that once they arrived at this degree, Naruto could get a bit too…excited might not be the right word. Enthusiastic? Intense with his endless stamina? Sasuke remembered when they spent a whole week having a sex marathon until his energy was completely depleted, though his blond dumbass continued to hop around like some energized bunny.

Plus, that was back when they were young, he’s honestly getting too old for this. Naruto also had this habit of being pretty one-track mind and couldn’t keep his hands to himself (and Sasuke would never admit that he wanted it too, so he just let the situation run its course), so he wished they could concentrate on other aspects of their blooming relationship instead of spending every waking time being human versions of naked pretzels. 

He’s definitely going to have a hard time convince Naruto though. Just this morning he received an onslaught of cheerful messages and he’s sure that his boyfriend is now all over the moon. Sasuke was getting influenced by his rambunctious energy that Suigetsu caught him smiling while reading some answer Naruto just sent. The only reason his friend didn’t tease him was because he promised bloody murder if Suigetsu even dared open his mouth.

Work was done, day was over, they were planning to watch a movie, located close to his home. It was hard controlling his loud heartbeats when Naruto was waiting for him at the lobby, an ear-splitting grin widening once blue eyes recognized him exiting the elevator. He grabbed Sasuke’s hand, dragging him to the bathroom. Sasuke gazed with one eyebrow raised while his boyfriend checked if the stalls were empty, mouth open ready to ask what the hell this dumbass was doing, when Naruto’s lips reached onto his. 

Whatever rational thought evaporated when warm hands caressed the back of his neck, little shivers of pleasure as Sasuke returned their kiss, arms circling around Naruto and pulling their bodies closer. 

After a good couple of minutes, Naruto released him with a fond smile, fingers caressing the alabaster skin.

Sasuke murmured, voice husky. “So…” He cleared his throat. “What was that?”

“Nothing. I just really wanted to kiss you.” Naruto replied in candid affection.

Oh. He forced his hands down that were itching to rip the orange t-shirt apart. Sasuke couldn’t believe that he was this close to making such a ludicrous idea. Which, uh, it’s Naruto’s fault. Mixed signals and all.

If anything this just proves his initial point right. They needed to take things slower. Be disciplined, control themselves. He could practically feel Naruto’s eagerness emanating from his body, fidgeting and grinning while they were walking back to his apartment.

“Naruto, we’re going way too fast in this relationship.” Sasuke declared point blank.

“What.” His boyfriend muttered. “No, we don’t. Why are you assuming we’re going fast?”

Sasuke refrained himself from rolling his eyes. “We’ve been having sex non-stop so far. And I’m sure you chose an early screen in a movie theater close to my apartment because you’re sure we’ll have more sex once this was over.”

“Yeah, it’s like finishing the date on a happy note right. What’s wrong with that.” Naruto said, curling a impish grin.

“That’s what I meant how we’re going too fast, moron. We should refrain ourselves from doing this every single time.”

A blond eyebrow was raised. “Wow, I didn’t know I was dating a monk who wants to celibate.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“Affectionate moves should be limited to only hands gestures, with two meters of distance.” Naruto continued to recite, copying Sasuke’s nonchalant tone.

“Stop putting words in my mouth.”

“I might get contaminated by dumbass germs.”

“That part is quite true.” Sasuke snorted, smirking how Naruto huffed in response. “My point is that I want to explore more other aspects of our relationship. I don’t want this be defined solely about how good the sex is.”

“If it’s that good, why should we avoid it then?” 

“Because it’s easy to fall in this trap. I’m not saying that we should stop it completely⏤” Sasuke hurried to elucidate when Naruto opened his mouth ready to launch a diatribe. “But there are a lot of other aspects that can be further developed, but when we’re busy⏤”

“Screwing our brains out.”  Naruto supplied.

“Yes, whatever term you prefer. When we’re busier doing these activities, we can’t find time to do anything else.”

Naruto hummed, eyes screwed in reflection while he crossed his arms. 

“All I’m saying, is that we have the tendency to get too sexual, once we went down this rabbit hole. I wanted to get to know you better, enjoy our dates together.”

Naruto considered his set of words, then nodded. “Sure. Nice and slow. I can work with that.”

⏤.⏤ 

“OH FUCK! Harder Naruto!”

Sasuke honestly to God didn’t know how their night ended up this way. Might be the fact that Naruto innocently (but not so innocently) gave him one last kiss, sliding through his lips with a healthy amount of tongue. Maybe it’s because he had accidentally (or maybe not as much) fondled Naruto’s buttocks, which promptly made Naruto shove him to the wall, kisses escalating with louder grunts and moans, clothes flung aside. 

Within seconds Naruto was already ruthlessly impaling inside him, loud wet noises of slapping skin echoing in his living room. At some point the friction from the floor to his back was bothering him, so Naruto dislodged him, propping him up as he turned around positioning on the couch, hands tightening on the soft surface with his knees on the seat. Not sensing Naruto getting closer to him, his head turned to glance behind and Sasuke blushed when he saw lustful blue eyes admiring the view, hand pumping the glistening cock. Licking his lips, Naruto reapplied the lube, letting his fingers caress the firm buttocks, one digit lazily gliding in, curling inside and stimulating his prostate. The middle finger joined, shallow thrusts while pressing on that sensitive spot, that had Sasuke aching for more. 

He grunted. "Naruto, if keep fucking around you dumbass I swear to God⏤" He cried out wordlessly when that thick cock penetrated him. Naruto’s hands reached to his pale shoulders, pushing his upper body down and speeding up his thrusts.

Sasuke’s voice was already hoarse from all the screaming, blurted demands to fuck him harder as Naruto complied him, brutal stabs that had him reeling. His lover had such intimate knowledge of his body that any rational thoughts dissolved away, and all that Sasuke craved was their bodies being melded together, driving to the brink of ecstasy. 

As they were both recovering from the high, Sasuke was sprawled on the sofa and Naruto’s body was crammed next to him, he was able to form some sort of rationale. “What about…the restraint.” He muttered between gasps. 

“I mean…” Naruto was breathing heavily, staring back at him. He shrugged one shoulder. “There’s always tomorrow.”

Sure. Tomorrow was a sound idea. Tomorrow will be different, he'll have a new attitude, he'll reign more control on himself.

(Tomorrow consisted 69 fellatio in the morning but they didn't have penetrative sex, so that was an improvement. Right.)

⏤.⏤ 

After a whole week with many failed attempts, gasping after Naruto swallowed his cum, Sasuke had the nagging suspicion that his boyfriend wasn’t taking this whole discipline thing seriously. He confronted with a warning glare when a furtive hand was gliding inside his shirt.

“I thought we established we were going slow.”

“We are.” Naruto blinked. “You also said that we’re not going to stop if this happens naturally, right?”

“And how is this supposed to be natural?”

“My hands are cold.”

Sasuke wasn’t falling for that flimsy excuse, as his incredulous expression showed as such.

“Fine.” Naruto rolled his eyes. “It’s only this time though. I think I’m disciplining myself pretty well, and all the past times were just…you know, circumstances that were out of our control.”

“Yesterday you shoved your hand inside my pants while we were watching TV.”

“I wanted to know how your dick feels around my hand.” 

“I’m sure you felt it plenty times back when we were in high school.”

Naruto’s grin was lopsided and mischievous. “Ah, but that was seven years ago Sasuke.”

Sasuke sighed loudly, bumping his boyfriend’s head with the back of his hand.

“It’s not my fault it’s much more entertaining sucking your cock than watching that boring documentary!”

“See? That’s what I meant that we’re too focused on sex. If you talked with me about what kind of movie you like instead of getting eager in giving me a blow job, I’d know your tastes better!” Sasuke chastised him.

“I wasn’t doing this on purpose!” Naruto defended himself. “I really wanted to watch that documentary since I know that you like that type of genre and I wanted to see if I’d start liking it too but oh God, it’s so boring…and well, your dick was right there, and even with your pants I could see the length of it, so I kinda got curious if it’s the same feel as before, and uh⏤you know what happened after that.” He fumbled, eyes straying to the ground.

Sasuke guessed he could only blame himself. After all, Naruto had a notorious short attention span regarding anything that doesn’t spark his interest and had a strong fixation in anything he really liked (mainly Sasuke). He contemplated another plan of contention.

“Let’s do a competition.”

Naruto’s blue eyes focused in an instant, adjusting his seat. “Alright…what are the stakes?” 

Sasuke considered this. He couldn’t choose something like the loser will let the winner top him because Naruto didn’t care either way who would take or receive. If he came up about letting the winner indulge some fetish, they might enjoy too much and get further down the rabbit hole. Neither of them are very swayed over the prospect of winning money too. 

A light bulb went off.

“If we manage not to have anything of sexual kind for a week, I’ll treat you the famous Ramen that won three Michelin stars.”

The moment Sasuke said the magic word, blue eyes widened and sparkled in childish joy that was almost blinding. Naruto grinned. “Really?????”

“Yes, and if you lose I⏤”

“I’m gonna win! I’m definitely gonna win! There’s no way I’m gonna lose. If this ever happen I’ll shave my hair, I’ll chop off my dick, whatever but I. Am. Going. To. Win.”

Sasuke stared in deadpan, the determined expression on his boyfriend’s face and muttered. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m your soulmate or Ramen is your soulmate when you speak of it with this much passion.”

“Haha, very funny asshole. Don’t worry Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-chan, I’ll keep my word and I won’t lay one hand on you or my name won’t be Uzumaki Naruto!” 

“You don’t have to go that far, I just⏤”

“I’ll be a saint! I’ll make all monks across the world jealous about how much restraint I’ll show!”

“I said you don’t have to go that f⏤”

“I won’t touch a strand of your hair Sasuke!”

“Usuratonkachi⏤I told⏤”

“I’ll be better than Virgin Mary!”

“Naruto!”

⏤. ⏤

This bet might have…backfired terribly. Sasuke didn’t want them to go overboard but he sort of expected at least they would have something that went a little beyond chaste kisses, lips barely touching before Naruto would hop off back to his home. When Sasuke mentioned that they could freely kiss as long as they wouldn’t go too far, the blond man shrugged and said.

“Yeah, but Ramen…”

Sasuke sighed. 

Meanwhile, Naruto was snickering about how Sasuke was getting visibly frustrated with the lack of physical contact. Never underestimate his desire into crafting the perfect prank. After he dismissed Sasuke for the 6th day with just a short peck (Tsunade was going to visit him that night but he didn’t mention that for greater humorous effect), Sasuke really looked like he wanted to backpedal this whole bet. 

He opened his door, not surprising his aunt was rummaging his fridge, with an automatic complaint. “Welcome home brat. What did I tell you about eating a healthy and balanced diet?”

“I’m home, old hag.” Naruto shook his head. “I’m eating pretty damn well!”

“All I’m seeing is a Ramen bowl and some carrots.”

“It’s the end of the week, I’m going to the grocery store tomorrow.”

Tsunade narrowed her eyes, not falling for that excuse. “Anyways, I brought some food with me, I’ll cook dinner tonight. Get your futon ready for me too.”

Pleasantly surprised by the sudden freebie, his stomach growled already imagining the delicious homemade food his aunt would cook for him. He said carefully. “Are you sure? I mean, you’re on the verge of winning an important election, surely you have better things to do right?”

Tsunade patted his head, pulling his cheek. “Even I would get tired having meetings over and over throughout this whole campaign. I really wanted some breather so I could spend some time with my family.” She sighed, glancing unfocused at distance. She began picking some mackerel, cleaning the fish as she changed the subject. “Anyways…how’s your relationship with Uchiha-kun going?”

Blue eyes blinked, then widened a very wicked grin. 

“I know that smile well enough to understand that you brewed some trouble that would give me headaches. What did you do to your poor soulmate?”

“I didn’t do anything. I swear.” He was right. In a sense.

Tsunade stared as her nephew continued to laugh mischievously and rolled her eyes. This brat was going to be the death of her sometimes. While she was busy grilling the fish, Naruto helped her out, washing and cutting the vegetables for her, also fluffing the rice for them. Despite her nagging, this young man was eating healthier food in comparison to his preteen years. Time surely flew by in one instant blink, and she wished she had properly followed his growth instead of getting swamped with politics and city administration. She was glad that her nephew didn’t hold many grudges towards her though.

After that nice dinner, they were relaxing watching some historical drama about an emperor’s chef. Naruto was giving his aunt some shoulder massages after Tsunade not-so-subtly began rubbing her neck and reminding him how exhausted she was, promptly gonking the upside of his head when he gave a remark about her advanced age.

“So what caused you to take a long break after many months of campaign?” Naruto wondered while he kneaded her shoulders.

Tsunade let out a tired groan and warned him. “You’re not going to like the conversation.”

He moved his head to one side, not comprehending her cryptic words but decided to bite the bullet. “Maybe, but I guess it’s too late to change the subject. So what’s all about?”

She turned her upper body to study the young man, revealing. “The party has been pressuring me to find a suitable successor.”

“Let’s change the subject.” Naruto picked up the controller, determined to raise the volume.

He inwardly groaned when he saw the familiar knitted eyebrows coming from his aunt, as she fully turned to face him, placing her hands on her waistline. “And you know well that it’s hard for me to find anyone, when I’m 100% sure that the best suitable candidate is right in front of me.”

“We already had this conversation, baa-chan.” He whined.

“I know, but you have to admit that you’re made for this! You’re one of the very few people I fully trust and you’re also perfect to follow my steps! You’re honest, hardworking, also good-looking in my honest opinion. I mean, you got the best genes from our family and your father.”

“I’m not interested in politics.”

Tsunade ignored him, continuing to list his qualities. “You’re charismatic, have a strong sense of justice, charming with great leadership, all are qualities that make people want to follow you! Remember back in college, your soccer team and cheerleading squad went to many tournaments with full sponsorship all because of you!”

“Oh c’mon, you’re inflating my importance on this. It’s all because of hard work from my friends and teachers.” Naruto groaned, already pausing the TV screen.

“That followed you because they were inspired by you. You united them all into succeeding this common goal.” Tsunade attempted to persuade him. “Those are very rare talents that not many people have and I can’t believe you’re wasting not using them!”

“I don’t believe in politicians! I think most of them are always looking for a way to gain more power or money, and even the rare people who want to make a change, end up being swallowed by the system.” Naruto exclaimed, huffing loudly. “I mean, I trust you with my life, but I saw that you had to trade, to make concessions to get something else in return. I followed your political career throughout my middle school and highschool years, that I know enough dirt to make me sure I don’t wanna follow that.”

“You can be the voice of change then Naruto. If you’re my protegée I can protect you, guide you through and you can be the newer generation that will change Japan. I mean, where else are you going to put your leadership and charisma into good use?”

Naruto shrugged. “Well, helping good NGOs. Give them a voice, help them get sponsorships. This is why I’m a social media strategist.”

“And you know that even the best NGOs need to negotiate with government officials to let their ideas blossom. We’re the ones that make all of this work.” Tsunade pointed out.

“Yeah, this is why I’m helping you out, because I believe you’re going to be a good mayor.” Naruto grumbled, scratching his head. “This is why I’m also helping Sasuke, he’s building a NGO in the future. I let your voices be heard.”

“I really appreciate you aiding me, I really do. But all I’m hearing is you making someone else’s dream come true. What about your dreams?”

“Oh God, what’s the problem of helping someone else fulfill his dream?” He let out a displeased groan.

Tsunade grabbed his arms, squeezing with added effort. “Because you’re a natural born leader Naruto, you were never suited to being shoved behind the scenes. I’m sure whatever aspiration you’ll have, you’ll be able to make people move mountains for your cause. And it’s a shame you’re not using your abilities to your full potential.”

⏤.⏤

“Oh? And what happened after your aunt said all this long speech?” Sasuke muttered, trying no to sway too much from the movement in the subway wagon.

“She said that she could see that I was getting really tired and we called it a night. But you know baa-chan, before she went away she repeated that I really have to consider her words.” Naruto sighed.

“Hm.” Sasuke contemplated for a while. “I mean, she’s not wrong. For some odd reason you dumbass is able to charm people into your circle.”

“What? We were lonely brats back then, you forgot?” 

“Right, but after a while, you started getting friends left and right. First it was Gaara, that honestly I still don’t get how you managed to change him from a murderous maniac to a gardener.”

“Yeah, back then you were jealous that I have gotten close to Gaara, it was so cute.” Naruto grinned and batted his eyelashes, unaffected by the venomous glare he received from his boyfriend.

“Then, Sakura and Shikamaru. Shikamaru dragged Chouji and Ino with him. Then Neji, with Lee and Tenten, and before I knew, you befriended like half of the school, that you could become some sort of gang leader terrorizing the city.”

“Hah, that would be cool right. My aunt would pummel me to the ground though.” Naruto chortled.

“Right…and I remember back in the day, you wanted to be a Hokage right? To get your aunt’s attention.” Sasuke smirked, gazing how his boyfriend gave an automatic shudder in response.

“You really have to dig all the memories back then huh. The whole reason I wanted this Hokage thing because of some anime I used to watch, it was just some silly kid dream.”

“All I’m saying, is that your aunt is right. You have some weird dumbass charisma that I don’t really get but I guess it’s some sort of innate talent. You listen to people and sympathize with them, which makes them want to return the favor and follow you. Not everyone has this ability in leadership.”

Naruto huffed to himself, distraught that Sasuke ended up agreeing with Tsunade. He was pretty satisfied with his current career choice, but if his closest people planted seeds of doubt in his mind, what if he’s not reaching his full potential then?

“However…I believe that every human has many talents at his or her disposal. You don’t have the need to nurture every single one of them if you don’t want to. Your ability to lead is only one of them, if it’s a waste to develop it or not, the only person who will determine its value should be you.”

Sasuke finished his line of thought, expecting Naruto to be thoughtful or relieved. What he couldn’t predict was his dumbass staring back at him with wide eyes, the usual blabbermouth falling in complete silence.

A little unnerved, he grumbled. “What?”

Breaking his stupor with some blinks, Naruto rubbed the back of his head, his cheeks flushed red.  “Uh…well…thanks.” He nudged his boyfriend on his arm with some added shyness. This was one of the many moments Naruto was glad Sasuke existed in his life, to give some voice of reason.

Suddenly, the alarm blasted out of Naruto’s smartphone. He fumbled to turn it off, only to read the contents and broadened a victorious grin. “Sasuke, we finally fulfilled seven days! You know what that means right?”

Sasuke sighed. “You won the bet.”

“Yes, I won the bet! Glorious, glorious ramen to my greatest delight. The restaurant is located in the next two stations.”

“Wait, I have to pay now? After all the great advice I just gave to you?” Sasuke protested.

“Those are two different things bastard. I’m never going to skip an opportunity to savor the greatest food of all time. The delicious noodles, sliced pork, that smooth broth that glides through my throat…man, I’m getting hungry just thinkin’ about it.” He patted his belly as emphasis.

Good thing Sasuke saved up some money because Naruto could inhale a huge amount of food if he so desired. This bet was a disaster from beginning to end. He also had to suffer Naruto spouting poetry over his beloved dish, for an ungodly amount of time while they were walking back to Naruto’s house, that Sasuke was mildly contemplating murder. Or maybe some poisoning. Just little droplets on the Ramen broth next time, that would force his dumbass to spend the entire day in the bathroom. That sounded like a nice, innocent plan.

“Anyways, thanks for paying this marvelous, exquisite Ramen. And give up cooking whatever is going on inside your bastard’s mind, I can see you’re thinking about something evil, I can feel it in my bones.”

“Honest to God, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sasuke muttered, head craning closer when Naruto gave him a cheeky kiss.

Naruto glanced towards his building, staring back towards his boyfriend that was beginning to turn around, back to the subway station. Licking his lips, he placed his hands on the pocket, mumbling. “Sasuke.”

His boyfriend grunted, turning back to face him.

“You want to spend the night here with me?” He shuffled his feet, glancing down. “I mean, now that the bet is over, you understand what I meant with that right.”

Sasuke struggled to keep an unperturbed face, also feeling his cheeks getting warmer. “…right.” 

They fell silent for couple of awkward minutes, not daring to voice desires out in the open. Scratching his head, Naruto turned towards the entrance of his apartment, not wanting to insist on this. He took in a deep breath, opened the heavy door but the second he took one step inside, fingers interlaced with his own. 

Naruto swallowed dryly, not daring to peek to his left but his hand squeezed in return. They were waiting inside the elevator to go to the appointed floor not one word being exchanged between them, to the point Sasuke was wondering why the fuck they were being so weird about this. It’s not like it’s their first time they had sex.

And yet, his heartbeats were drumming loudly through his ears when Naruto unlocked his apartment and they stepped inside. With his back resting on the door, Sasuke waited while blue eyes focused on him, hand reaching to lock behind him. Using the back of his hand, he caressed the pale cheek, thumb idly brushing his lower lip. Sasuke nipped it in response, stuttering his breath when Naruto approached, mouths matching together, soft and open.

Sasuke did wonder to himself all these abrupt changes. Not even a day had passed since they vowed to keep sex off their dates and they were eagerly jumping back as usual, but another huge part of his mind just wanted this moron to better kiss him like he meant it or else. While his eyes were still closed, he explored every curve and edge of Naruto’s face, nose nudging against his, stubbles on his cheeks and firm jaw, eyelids opening half mast to admire how those azure eyes always looked so youthful.

Once he comprehended such remarks, this surged from the deepest depths of his darkness, a mixture of pride and possessiveness how Naruto would devote all these affections only to him, having all those heated gazes focused solely on him. 

Naruto gave one last moist kiss on his lips, whispering. “Let’s go take a bath. Right?” It was impossible for Sasuke to say no (the tattoo on his left hand throbbed for a second), stripping his shirt away while Naruto went to grab a towel for him. 

Naruto had the regular japanese style of bathroom, shower head and the tap water located around the height of your knee, so you would wash yourself and rinse on a sitting position. There was a hot tub to soak in and relax once you cleaned yourself, but Sasuke doubted they would use it today. 

He soaped his body in stiff movements, tense in anticipation once he heard Naruto approaching, one tanned arm grabbing the shower head and making him raise his face upwards staring towards Naruto’s puzzled expression. 

The blond man dropped a kiss on his forehead, muttering. “What, I gotta wash myself, I stink.”

“Stink of Ramen broth I’m sure.” Sasuke replied, growling when Naruto sprinkled water in retaliation. This small skirmish relaxed him as he finished cleaning himself, picking a small towel.

A warm hand touched his shoulder, gliding through his spine and paused on the small back. Lips sucked on his neck, a sultry murmur reached close to his ear. “Let me wash your back.” 

Sasuke used his most disinterested grunt in his arsenal, even though his dick twitched in response. A fluffy sponge lathered his body with soap, massaging his kinks and rubbing all over his skin. Naruto then rinsed off with warm water, sponge gliding on his frontal almost in an inquisitive, lazy way. 

He leaned his body over Naruto’s, hitching his breath when hands reached to his bellybutton, skimming through his penis that was half-erect and moved to his sacs, foam gathering on that area. Grazing upwards, a sturdy hand curled the soft sponge around the shaft and began fondling his cock. He glided with increasing depth and speed, spurred by Sasuke’s quiet gasps and controlled moans, teeth grazing the pale shoulder as he also felt his cock rising in response.

Naruto threw the sponge aside, lathering his hand with soap and gripped the reddened cock. Sasuke trembled from the direct hot contact, body responding to the familiar touch, calloused fingers as Naruto stroked his length. His palm encircled and stimulated around the sensitive head, applying more pressure with each glide and pull, pre-cum flowing through the slit. Sasuke choked out a sharp moan, noticing Naruto’s hard cock pressing on his back, another hand spreading his legs and rolling his balls. 

Sasuke went rigid, gasping heavily but Naruto’s fingers gripped on his base, halting his peak. Mouth glided and licked through his shoulders, hands caressed his chest and played with his nipples, touching nowhere close to his hard dick. Sasuke yanked the blond locks to bring their lips into a furious kiss, resisting the urge to touch his own cock as he entrusted his lover.

Once Naruto saw he was more in control, he restarted groping and sliding through the length, pleasuring Sasuke as those moans were increasing in cadence. Watching in fascination how Sasuke’s handsome features twisted and gasped in wanton need, hips moving to match his strokes, one arm hooking around his neck as their mouths brushed occasionally. 

Naruto stopped his movements once again, when Sasuke knew he was very close to the edge. His breathing was fast and erratic, each of Naruto’s hands gripped his wrists and held them to the ground. He rested his head on the tanned shoulder, his inhales and exhales settling in until Naruto resumed jerking his cock again.

“Oh God, Naruto⏤!” Sasuke’s screamed, his whole body trashed in that brutal pace, bowing backwards. He was torn in between pleading to continue, or to stop this delicious torment because, at this point all the accumulated pleasure was way too much, overwhelming him. Powerful jets of semen erupted from his cock as Naruto drove him to completion, yelling hoarsely.

Staring at the ceiling, Sasuke was still milking the best orgasm in his entire life while attempting to regain some ounce of control. He turned around, determined to return the favor but then noticed the milky stains covering the sun-kissed stomach.

Naruto was also breathing heavily and shrugged. “The show was really good bastard.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, lowering himself as his mouth slurped the soft dick, giving one last kiss before both men collapsed to the ground, taking another couple of minutes to recover.

⏤.⏤ 

Sasuke wore Naruto’s spare pijamas, he was slightly taller than his boyfriend but had narrower shoulders instead. After they watched one more episode of a TV series they both enjoyed, Naruto called the day, stretching his arms and walking towards his bedroom. Following behind, Sasuke braced himself, wondering how much Suigetsu would annoy him after he arrived late the next day.

However, the blond man merely lay down on his bed, patting on the spot in front of him. Sasuke obeyed bewildered, raising an eyebrow when Naruto adjusted his head around his chest, inhaling and sighing content while he laced his arms around Sasuke’s body. “Hey, dumbass.”

Naruto yawned. “Yeah?”

“Is that…all?” He was getting psyched for round two after their bathroom rendezvous, so this simple hug caught him off guard.

“Yeah Sasuke, we ate a huge dinner. It’s called anal sex for a reason.” Naruto then snorted and muttered to himself. “And you call me a dumbass.”

“I know that dumbass. But well, I thought…we were going to use other options available.”

“Oh? You want ‘em Sasuke-channnn?” Naruto’s voice was loud and amused.

“Nevermind.” Sasuke shoved his boyfriend away, ignoring the feeble protests in return.

Naruto laughed. “Just lemme cuddle you cold-hearted bastard. We can do all the naughty things you pervert want for la⏤hey, no punching on the defenceless, that’s cheating!” 

Sasuke stopped after one last jab on the blond head, sighing. “You were the one who gave me unreasonable expectations that weren’t met.”

“Sasuke, I can obey whatever your sex crazed maniac wants me to do⏤”

“Wait a minute, you’re the one who kept jumping on me last two weeks, you dumbass⏤”

“Oh right, as if you’re an innocent victim that fell on my hands, you wanted you bastard, I just gave a nudge in the right direction⏤Anyways!” Naruto interrupted Sasuke’s incoming protest. “My point is…you were right. I’m enjoying that we’re taking things slower. I don’t think we have to restrict sex but instead, we can do it when we feel like it.”

Sasuke studied him in silence, and said quietly. “And you…don’t desire to…”

“Of course I do, but lately whenever on bed we end up having sex. I guess I wanted to change a little bit of this pace?” Naruto grinned. “Sasuke, there’s a lot of things I like about you, and mind-blowing sex with you is only one of ‘em. I just want to enjoy cuddling with you for now ok. Even if you’re an incorrigible bastard.”

“…hn.” Sasuke’s arms enveloped around Naruto’s body, chin resting on the blond hair.

“…awww are you hugging me b⏤”

“Do you have a death wish?”

Naruto just smiled. “Fine. ‘night asshole.”

“Good night usuratonkachi.”

⏤.⏤

AN: Two dumbasses in love, great. As usual, please leave a review if you can.

#SasuNaru #NaruSasu #snstext #sn fic #sns fic #snsfic #lemon #drabble

[lisatelramor]

Sucker Punch

I apologize in advance, I had a thought and had to follow it through. Dick Jokes occurred. I’m not actually that sorry. Guys, really this is your own fault for getting me to watch a show with a flirtatious protagonist with an oral fixation. :P I’m inflicting this on you. @vulcansdarkest

***

It was supposed to be a joke. The team all knew what Lin Jing slipped into Zhao Yunlan’s desk. (And everyone but Zhu Hong found it at least a little funny.) Da Qing had found them. After years of living with Zhao Yunlan, he had a bit of a habit of noticing certain kinds of sweets. Especially after Zhao Yunlan stopped smoking. He hadn’t been looking for it of course. He’d just been on a walk, and maybe pestering one of the local shops for scraps because he knew they had a soft spot for cats. And he’d maybe mentioned it offhand later to Lin Jing. But he wasn’t the one to but it.

That dubious pleasure went, of course, to Guo Changcheng. And he only bought it because the concept had almost made Chu Shuzhi audibly laugh, which made everyone pay attention, which led to Da Qing sarcastically saying they should give it to Zhao Yunlan, and then somehow Guo Changcheng was nominated as the sacrifice on acquiring the goods.

(He couldn’t look anyone in the face after that for hours. They almost felt guilty.)

Of course then they almost didn’t put it in Zhao Yunlan’s desk because it could, in a way, be construed as harassment. But as Da Qing pointed out, Zhao Yunlan had no shame and none of their ragtag group had anything resembling deference to him except maybe Guo Changcheng because he wasn’t as much of a misfit as the rest of them.

Which led to everyone holding their collective breaths as Zhao Yunlan sauntered in at a fashionably late time.

“Ah?” he said looking at everyone at their work stations for once. “So quiet and diligent today.” He sounded terribly suspicious. “What expensive thing did one of you break?” Zhao Yunlan looked at Lin Jing.

Lin Jing looked back, wide eyed. “What? I didn’t break anything! Don’t go cutting my pay before I’ve even done anything!”

Zhao Yunlan looked at Da Qing next. Da Qing, who was in cat form, had the perfect excuse for not saying anything. Zhao Yunlan’s gaze landed on Guo Changcheng, who couldn’t lie for shit.

Guo Changcheng hurriedly looked down at his notebook.

Suspicious. Zhao Yunlan narrowed his eyes. “Alright. Well whatever you did better not reflect back on me or none of you get your bonuses this month.” He went into his office.

Outside, Da Qing twisted around, ears pricked toward the door. Habit dictated that in the next few minutes, Zhao Yunlan would reach into his desk for a lollipop. He waited. And waited. Nothing.

“No response?” Lin Jing asked in a loud whisper.

Da Qing shifted human. “Nothing,” he confirmed.

“Not even a laugh?”

They all looked at the door. Nothing.

“How well did you hide it?” Da Qing asked.

“I put it on top of his lollipop stash where he’d see it right away!”

Silence.

“I said we shouldn’t have done it,” Zhu Hong said.

“M-maybe he just had a lollipop on hand already?” Guo Changcheng said nervously.

The phone rang and that signaled that they had to actually do some work instead of waiting.

The prank was temporarily forgotten as they got dragged into yet another string of mysterious deaths and no one had time to think anything of it for at least the next forty-eight hours.

By the third day, it was written off as a loss as clearly it hadn’t hit as humorously as intended.

The fourth, Shen Wei was visiting, as he so often was, there to do more research into the Hallows, or perhaps just visiting Zhao Yunlan (not that any of them would say that out loud). Zhao Yunlan was in his office finishing up a phone call or his sixth sense for the professor would probably have kicked in by that point and he’d have been out there pestering him.

“Tea?” Lang Zheng offered Shen Wei.

“Thank you,” he said with a well-practiced polite smile. It was the one pulled out in most social situations as far as Da Qing was able to tell and entirely different than the ones Zhao Yunlan coaxed from him. It was all very mushy and gross and Da Qing was glad he’d managed to avoid too much of them making eyes at each other. “Has it been a busy day?” Shen Wei asked, glancing at Zhao Yunlan’s office.

“Not for us. Higher ups have been calling all day though because the bill for the cleanup of the last case went through,” Da Qing said. He was entirely unsympathetic. What, did they expect facing Dixingren with woken powers would be easy and destruction free?

“Ah.” Shen Wei’s polite smile edged toward sympathetic. “I apologize for not being more help to end that quicker.”

“You’re a consulting professor,” Zhu Hong said. “No one’s expecting you to do our jobs.” She might not like that Zhao Yunlan made eyes at Shen Wei, but Shen Wei made it really hard not to like him at least a little bit. He was polite, which was a novelty in and of itself with everyone in the SID. “Besides, Zhao Yunlan can pull his weight for once in handling the higher ups.”

“I am sure he’s doing his best,” Shen Wei said diplomatically.

Zhao Yunlan’s door banged open and he strode out with his typical dramatic flair, lollipop tucked in his cheek and a frown on his face. The frown melted away instantly when he saw Shen Wei. “Ah! A dull day just got brighter!”

Da Qing rolled his eyes as Shen Wei seemed to actually enjoy the dramatics if the tiny smile on his face was anything to go by. They were so obvious toward each other it was embarrassing.

Zhao Yunlan tossed himself onto the couch beside Shen Wei like he thought someone else might take that space. Or maybe he just wanted to be close. “All of you,” he said, “should be thanking me because I just saved your paychecks.”

“Thank you, Chief Zhao,” Guo Changcheng said earnestly.

Da Qing gave out a little sarcastic, “Yay.”

Zhao Yunlan wrinkled his nose at them. “All of you are fired, Xiao Guo’s the only one of you with a sense of gratitude. Normally we’d be celebrating a closed case, bu—ut, that was a sad team effort, let’s do better next time.”

“I mean we could celebrate it being over,” Lin Jing said.

“We could!” Zhao Yunlan said agreeably. “Only if one of you are paying for it.” He pointed with his lollipop at the group. There was a three second pause as everyone looked at what he had in his hand before Shen Wei choked on his tea. “Are you okay?”

“I’m… Fine.” Shen Wei’s face was turning red.

“Oh my god,” Lin Jing said.

“What?” Zhao Yunlan popped the candy back in his mouth and Shen Wei started having another coughing fit. “One of you put these in my drawer; did you think I wouldn’t eat them?”

“Oh my god.”

Da Qing started cackling.

Zhao Yunlan’s lips quirked up in a smirk. “I’ll admit, that’s a pretty creative way to tell your boss to go suck a dick.” He pulled the lollipop out, examining its phallic shape. “I didn’t even know they made this sort of thing.”

“Why,” Lin Jing asked, “are you eating it?”

“Because I can?” Zhao Yunlan said with an innocent expression. “I mean it’s not actually a—”

“Yunlan!” Shen Wei choked.

Zhao Yunlan gave his team a disappointed look. “I hope you’re proud of yourselves. You broke Shen Wei.”

Da Qing snorted. “No, that’s all you.”

“Ah but you’re the ones who gave me a bag of dick-shaped lollipops. They’re peach flavored, by the way, interesting choice.”

Chu Shuzhi looked torn between smirking and guilt, eyes flicking between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan. Guo Changcheng wrung his hands next to him. Zhu Hong looked done with everything and Da Qing would feel a little bad about the whole thing except it was still pretty hilarious. From how Zhao Yunlan’s eyes glinted with amusement, he also found it funny instead of insulting. Their senses of humor did run along the same lines a lot.

“Maybe,” Shen Wei said, “you could choose a different lollipop for the moment.”

“But Shen Wei, if my team is going to group up to tell me to suck a dick, how can I possibly refuse?” He winked. It was painfully over the top and Shen Wei looked like he was dying inside just a little.

“And I’m leaving,” Zhu Hong said. “Have fun if you decide to have a party.”

“Hey, don’t just leave us here with this!” Lin Jing protested.

“You dug the hole, lie in it,” Zhu Hong said unsympathetically.

“Such a power move,” Zhao Yunlan said in fake lamentation. “Such a statement. Telling a man to suck a dick and giving the means all in one action.” He tilted his head. “Do you think I could get away with—”

“No,” Shen Wei said.

“But if I—”

“No.”

Zhao Yunlan sunk back on the couch, pouting. Da Qing had a feeling that the bag of lollipops were going to go missing under mysterious circumstances. Not that this was a problem because if Zhao Yunlan was serious about offending people with them, Da Qing would wholeheartedly acquire another bag.

“…Are we…having a party?” Guo Changcheng asked tentatively.

“Sure,” Zhao Yunlan said. “And I conveniently have dessert to share with all of you.” He pulled out a handful of the phallic lollipops from his pocket.

Da Qing collapsed into laughter again at everyone’s horrified expressions. Ah, another day in the SID.

***

The exact thought that inspired this was my brain going "Hey. You know they make dick lollipops. That would mean you could tell someone to go suck a dick. Then give them one. In a complete power move." ... "Somehow this would relate back to Zhao Yunlan. Poor Shen Wei. The thirst is real." If anyone was wondering, you can really buy penis shaped lollipops, or molds if you want to make them yourself. I’m not linking to them tho, haha

#the guardian #dick jokes #mae i blame you for getting me into these chinese drama fandoms dangit #face the consequences with crack fic #shen wei/zhao yunlan #da qing would pull pranks #though this isnt' the kind of prank you play on your boss guys #sorry not sorry

[punkscowardschampions]

America & Libi

America: This is gonna sound thirsty as hell cos it is 👌 America: your boyfriend's friend, Sean America: do I have a shot? Libi: 😂 Thirst away, I know he would be SO flattered Libi: Bobby isn't MY boyfriend, but that's by the by and so not why you're in my inbox right now Libi: well, he isn't dating anyone, that I know of, I'll ask Bobby to confirm but I'm like 99% sure Libi: and of course he thinks you're cool, you guys would be a sweet match America: He ISN'T? I thought - never.mind 🤫 America: anywayyy America: did he say I was cool? LOL yeah I really feel it now Libi: Everyone says that, don't worry Libi: we're just best friends Libi: Awh, don't be silly! I'm not going to go tell him word for word Libi: like that's not an exact quote but I know the few times we've hung out all together he's had a good time, specifically hanging out with you America: if you're gay I'm like really sorry for getting your hopes up with my thirsty opener! America: Sean does not deserve that quick of a U-turn from me Libi: Not, so you're totally cool and not on the gay girl shit-list Libi: not for this anyway, I don't know who is, officially Libi: He talked about your party for AGES after Libi: even though that got cut short 😕 did you get in so much trouble? America: The reaction from my sister alone would be reason to do it but I don't think I can commit that hard to you & that idea America: maybe if Sean says no America: I hope he didn't say anything about that part of the party when he was talking about it or I'll have to go crawl in a hole America: or bury my mam's boyfriend in one America: did you get to have any fun? I literally don't remember seeing you when we left your house Libi: Well, she is my biggest fan Libi: who's 💔 is theoretically worse, hers or mine rn? Libi: Just what we were all thinking Libi: which was that we thought that guy might keel over if he didn't 🤐 sooner rather than later Libi: so I'm glad you're already making funeral plans though not because that must suck Libi: no, we had a good time, lost in the crowd seems like the answer America: Jake is the only one with any power to 💖✂ her, don't worry, & she's my biggest fan for pointing out on the regs he's a waste of unblemished skin America: we were making all kinds of plans before she got 🍆💫 America: guess I'm on my own with keeping the good times coming ➜ Libi: 🤨 I'm not sure I've heard him say anything interesting before Libi: It's usually a lot of posing and preening, right Libi: but who am I to judge America: 🤣 I'm on the classroom floor rolling America: neither of them are looking for intellectual stimulation from each other Libi: 😅 Apologies to your teacher Libi: I'll pretend my 😳 is paint America: Miss visibly wants to get me diagnosed with something, it's a long-running thing we have going Libi: Like it makes them any more equipped to deal when they have a name for something Libi: must be a funding issue Libi: but that's a rant for another day 🤓 America: Sean is gonna have his work cut out now America: get your not boyfriend to tell him, game on, but he's in competition with you Libi: I'll go easy on him 😉 Libi: oh, and he is 100% single and 100% tried to read that message so America: misbehaviour puts him back in the 🏃 Libi: Damn Libi: Would helping you have a meet-cute with him bizarrely help my case? America: how cute? sharing in my sister's delusions is a turn off Libi: I don't think he's that kind of guy Libi: BUT it would not be weird for me to bring you along to hang with my not boyfriend and it wouldn't be any weirder if he asked Sean, casually America: which means what I've been thinking about him is right America: & you don't have to be disqualified for trying to drag me into some fake paradise where everyone is in love with themselves Libi: I mean, like all boys Libi: or most, I would be asked to ** in Libi: he talks a bigger game than he has, but I mean that in the best possible way, honestly Libi: he's nicer than he can sometimes sound, you know what I mean? America: me too, I hope Libi: You sound nice Libi: thirst and all America: I scared you away before, couldn't let that happen before I got what I wanted from you Libi: No, that was your mum's fella Libi: I promise Libi: I'm just not a party pro America: that's what I mean, before at your 🏠 I could tell you two were out of your depth Libi: I hope you didn't take it as a personal, you and your party thing though America: it wasn't my party Libi: Sorry, no doubt she'd be 😤 over my lack of distinction there Libi: you know what I mean America: I'm just a guest that she didn't really want there, like you Libi: I don't get the whole sibling thing Libi: only child perk and curse, I guess Libi: but I'm not anti-party or anti-you, for the record Libi: just less initiated America: & I'm not anti-anyone cos Chi is, putting that on the record while we're stating facts Libi: Fair enough 🤝 Libi: I don't take it personally from her, also btw Libi: how she has been about Bobs, moreso but that's not on you so like ❌ America: she acts like she burst out of her crib knowing how to do a smoky eye & what shots she liked best America: you've got time to get initiated if you want to America: & yeah, I know she's a dick about anyone not in her ⬛ of perceived coolness Libi: I've got very little shame in how far away from a smoky eye I was as a kid 😂 Libi: She's not the only one Libi: ⬛ are boring Libi: more boring than I probably seemed that night Libi: 🤞 America: I thought you were just 😍💖 America: that's a lot of people in my life right now though so that's probably why Libi: Oh God, you do not need to tell me Libi: I feel like EVERYONE is suddenly, it's wild America: & now me jumping into your inbox America: what's in the water? Libi: I'm sure the Bio teachers are screaming hormones right now Libi: 😬 gross but true America: Whatever the reason, I didn't mean to contribute to the 💖💣 in your face Libi: You're so beyond fine Libi: not anti-love Libi: or a nun America: you'd be in luck if you were, we aren't calling this love Libi: 😍💖? Libi: Gotcha America: interest America: the 1st I've broadcast Libi: Worth pursuing Libi: I hope I've helped confirm, anyway America: maybe we'll end up just friends like you & Bobby or < America: but I think he's worth pursuing Libi: no harming in 👀 or trying, right America: for the right people Libi: I'll drink to that Libi: not right RIGHT now though because that is paintbrush water and I've made that mistake before 🤢 America: vivid flashbacks to your pre-party drinking face America: shock & disgust Libi: Oh nooooooo 😭 Libi: really sold myself as life of the 🥳 Libi: 😂🙄 America: It wasn't any different for me, if you'd be there to see it Libi: No one is doing it for the taste yet are they Libi: I refuse to believe America: I don't think anyone's doing it for the taste ever America: wine or whiskey snobs only wanna show off America: & that's grown adults Libi: My granddad would be so offended 😅 America: If he wants to try & change my mind, I'll come over Libi: Sounds fun Libi: but also like a potential way for him to lose his license so maybe we'll keep it between us America: Why can't he use his words without bringing the 🍷🥃? America: it's like those people who are all about how 🌶🌶🌶 or rare something is America: you wish you were 💪 we understand Libi: I didn't know you just wanted a debate but that's cool too Libi: come over any time, like America: it's off the table at my house America: he'll start blowing a whistle & stop all verbal communication soon America: not a nun either so I assume I won't be into it Libi: Yikes, he should try getting a 🐶 or two Libi: even then, probably be disappointed, soz America: I'll pitch the idea as long as it ends in disappointment Libi: if he doesn't love puppies you know he's not the one America: I know that about him already America: What's Sean's stance? Libi: Good question Libi: I shall 💬 America: don't lie to score points yourself, I'll find out Libi: [so many dog pictures which clearly aren't just her and Killer but her and Twix and Bobby too] Libi: ➕ America: OMG Libi: Yeah 😎 Libi: they're old ladies now but they were puppies once [a throwback we just have] America: Miss is gonna live for this U-turn from 🤣 to 🥺 America: name that personality disorder, bitch Libi: Looking like a poor taste budget horror Libi: LOVE that America: get my good side with that 📹 of yours Libi: but every personality Libi: Got this 🎬 America: every personality's best bits Libi: I wish I could fix everything in post Libi: life would be so ✨ America: edit out Gary America: make Chi less of a cow America: make my other sister reappear Libi: So wild to me how your sister used to be 'round my grandma's at the same time I was and I really can only just remember those days Libi: what is she up to now? America: 😍💖 Libi: Ah Libi: of course Libi: like everyone else in the world America: but you know, with a rented flat & office job Libi: The grown-ups version Libi: I feel you America: I don't know what the fuck we're calling what my mam is playing at America: but yeah, give my sister more grown up points than that Libi: How long has he been on the scene, Gary? America: too long LOL America: but that'd be 1 date in his case Libi: I can't imagine how awkward that must be when it's your mum and your house Libi: it's bad enough when a friend or an auntie or something dates a dickhead America: she's dated fuckwits for as long as she's dated America: but they don't usually see a month in Libi: I'll 🤞 he's gone sooner rather than later America: Thanks Libi: You're okay, right? Libi: That might be weird to ask America: I guarantee it's weirder to answer Libi: You don't have to, that was out of line Libi: but if you wanted to, I wanted to give you the chance, even though all I can do is listen Libi: but we can as easily leave it America: I'm 👌 in the sense that he's probably not gonna murder us all in our beds Libi: That's always something America: but if your grandad decides to leave your nan, I'm down to move in & have nightly debates Libi: It's been nearly 60 years so Libi: he's either overdue or change or you're out of luck Libi: but you're still invited to come crash when you need America: unless Sean makes me a better offer, you win Libi: Of course, of course America: unlikely, I can't really open with please rescue me Libi: Might be a bit strong Libi: but the spare room doesn't come with any of those connotations America: Can I have the dog too? Libi: She'll have to decide for herself, it would be rude for me to Libi: but she's pretty chill as long as you give her treats or attention so it's likely America: What's her name? Libi: Killer Libi: I did not name her America: 😶 I don't really get to say anyone's got a shit name anyway Libi: What's in a name, the English teachers will chime in America: music teacher would probably say a lot Libi: **harmonize it, please America: [does as if we're not fully in class rn] Libi: Brava! 👏 Libi: so much better than whatever 'painting' I've managed this lesson, whoops America: that'll be my L to take for not shutting up America: sorry to your 🎨 Libi: We'll all survive, even if this not-masterpiece does not 🗑 Libi: painting is not my thing anyway America: I never got prime fridge real estate America: as an only child, you would Libi: Only child, technically, but my grandparents have ALL the grandkids, so it didn't always work out like that America: my nan has the same favourite as my mam so 🤷 America: consistency 🎊🎉 Libi: I don't need 3 guesses Libi: why is it Libi: is she most like them or what America: 👼 America: blue eyed, blonde haired fucking wonder America: my entire family IS that shallow Libi: Well I can say blue eyes are overrated and you can say blonde hair is America: skipping over the 🚩 of taking German when my family are basically neo-Nazis Libi: will have to get you out of my DMs stealth if that one rings true Libi: no negotiating America: I don't want to do the cliché plea of how different I am but like, in this instance, it holds up Libi: I'll hear it America: how does a girl prove she's not a Nazi around here? 💭 Libi: 😂 Can you prove/disprove a negative is a big 💭 Libi: too big for before lunch, I think America: Gary's existence proves a negative Libi: 📢🔥 Libi: He felt that America: 💖✂ Libi: If that's the order of the day, I'm not mad Libi: have played cupid once here so America: What about you? Libi: What about me? America: There's absolutely no 😍💖? Libi: Oh, nah Libi: not right now 🤷 America: Then you probably can't answer my kissing questions America: I think that practising on my hand has to be movie propaganda but pretending it'll be perfect & I won't 🤤 all over anyone has to be too Libi: I could try Libi: I've had some but maybe not recently enough to experience counts? America: this close to picking up a 🎸 & opening the floor for them but my sister would KILL me Libi: and Miss would fully be staging an intervention before you could get any decent ones America: even though she's literally a teacher & I'm asking to be taught something Libi: The hypocrisy 😏 Libi: I think the less you think about it the easier it is Libi: which is such non-advice I know America: 👌 have a drink & just do it Libi: lowkey, yeah Libi: nerves never help a performance, right Libi: sure your teacher would have to agree on that one America: Did I agree to putting on a show for him? 👌 I see how it is Libi: 😲 Libi: not what I meant America: No? Libi: I mean, do what you wanna Libi: but not sure he warrants that much effort yet America: 🤣 America: I hope he didn't feel that 💖✂ Libi: It's not shade so it's okay Libi: I covered that he's nice before I went there 🙃 America: Did he go out with Michelle? Libi: Our sources say yes Libi: couple of months America: A couple of months seriously or casually? You were there Libi: I think he thought it was more serious than it was Libi: but I don't think he's looking for that America: & they're 100% over, no hang ups Libi: Totally America: cos she seems cool, I'm not trying to start something Libi: She's chill Libi: he's a free agent Libi: and he's interested too, for sure America: the interrogation can stop 🎊🎉 it's not making me look very chill Libi: I'll never tell Libi: plus you've distracted me from a boring lesson so it's okay Libi: a favour, really America: I can tell you're an only child America: my sisters would use anything I said or did or almost said or did against me if they can Libi: Damn, should I be keeping these in my backpocket? America: realistically Libi: SO bad at this Libi: I'm a slightly better friend 🤞 America: Being somewhere in the middle of a total dick & and a good friend, I'm not the right person to help you get better at either America: partying though America: if you ever want Libi: It would be useful Libi: not gonna lie Libi: as you got what you wanted, like America: I'll knock for you Libi: 👍 Bobby can come too, right? America: yeah, he can join in too America: I won't insist that he kisses me but pitch the idea Libi: I'll 🏏 America: There's always something going on, even with my house being not enough like a morgue but simultaneously too much like a morgue Libi: Halloween isn't the only time for costume parties 👻🧛👽🤖 America: I knew I fucked with you Libi: 😏 Libi: people who think costume parties suck have 0 imagination America: or only wanna look a certain way Libi: that too Libi: heaven forbid you have fun and don't just sit there 😘 America: if Chi didn't feel that, I'll be the one 💖✂ Libi: you can always say it yourself and take credit Libi: on me America: ghost writer, there's a costume in that America: she doesn't just sit there honestly, but it's not about having fun, she'll do fucking anything but it's to keep everyone looking at her Libi: I guess that accounts for some of it Libi: Middle child syndrome is a costume too Libi: if a little abstract America: Favourite child too, but she's got too much wear out of that one as is Libi: No repeats America: worse crimes have been committed than tiara recycling Libi: Maybe Libi: but it's close America: you've got jokes America: I don't think you really need me to teach you anything to be fun at 🥳 America: I predict some kind of 📹 prank is about to happen to me Libi: If youtube pranks are still fun and cool, I'm gonna have to ❌ that because yikes Libi: I just, there's a lot of it that everyone else does that I don't see the point to Libi: for me, anyway America: You don't have to do things that everyone else is doing Libi: Technically Libi: I don't think everyone else is the PSA enabler friend/peer pressure pusher or anything Libi: but it does other you if you don't join in, to a degree, with a lot of it America: 👌 so when we get to your limit, stop me Libi: Okay Libi: but don't go easy just because this all makes me sound about 7 America: Miss wouldn't have oppositional defiant disorder on her diagnosis checklist if I went easy on anyone Libi: 😂 Libi: She's really gone through psychology today yeah America: she's clearly so bored America: & wishing she had talent to scout America: I literally can't have that cos I don't see teachers as authority figures in the first place Libi: Delusions of grandeur ✔ for her America: 🤣 America: sorry you can't control me bitch, call Gary & compare notes Libi: Maybe Gary should bring in his CV America: we'd both love to see more of each other Libi: Of course Libi: and he's the ideal candidate for hapless teacher #46 who can't control their class America: if he ended up 🤯 my mam would 😍😗 the little neck stump America: she's that far gone Libi: Again, I only have experience by-proxy Libi: but that usually ends up 🤯 everything else Libi: so I 👂 America: You heard right in my experience America: my da's got enough left of him to sign a cheque, I picture him like that Adam's family hand Libi: [does the clicks in a boomerang type thing] America: nailed it! Libi: You know Libi: didn't want to be the girl who makes everything about her dead parents Libi: but arguably I'm the proof of everything going 🤯 so I do know a little bit about it America: Shit sorry! I forgot Libi: Don't be Libi: it's good it's not like, forefront of the facts you can recall on me, if anything America: I know what you mean, from a family of attention seeking whores isn't how I like to advertise myself Libi: I'm sure I could make a claim for that title too according to the masses Libi: but neither of us need to 📢 America: send my apologies to Sean if that's what he was expecting America: I do need attention but it doesn't have to be sexual specifically, as Miss can testify Libi: I should HOPE she can America: She plays hard to get, for all her therapizing Libi: She in the 🏃? America: only in the fantasy land she's created Libi: Bless her Libi: any way to kill the day is this place's motto, I think America: 🎼 school song if I do some more harmonising 🎹 Libi: 🌹👏 America: Due credit to you & your ideas America: I couldn't be happier it's not a 😍💖 song Libi: Likewise Libi: so it's worth it and you're welcome Libi: I can give Sean your number, I presume? America: & any screenshots you've taken as mean girl practice Libi: Only the worst bits, obvs Libi: 😘 America: my ugliest sides 👺👺 America: Still not a nazi btw, I just realised the 👃 and brows are a bit anti-Jewish propaganda Libi: 🤔 What if you realizing that is racist though? Libi: conundrum America: well fuck Libi: Hypothetically though Libi: goes a bit beyond mean girl territory to accuse you of racism/fascism America: slightly yeah Libi: thus I would NEVER Libi: 😎 only America: you've seen Gary so you know my hatred isn't rooted in anything racist there America: 🎊🎉 Libi: Can back you up there Libi: nothing but warranted and fair America: Thanks Libi: Has he 💬 yet or is he playing it cool? America: Cool or his teacher is a dick 📴 America: hopefully he's not in a lesson with my sister, that'll turn him off Libi: Not ideal Libi: She's probably changed all her classes to match Jake's, right? America: 🤮 Libi: Too real America: the upside of Gary's regime is that I don't have to see Jake at my house on the regs Libi: Upside? Libi: That's the WHOLE appeal America: 👏 You're not one of the 'everybody' Chi thinks is obsessed with him 🎊🎉 Libi: I don't even know him, in reality Libi: so I probably shouldn't 💬 on him but the only times I've heard him speaking he's been being dismissive or rude so Libi: meh America: Nobody knows him in reality, they live a bubble 🏰👑 America: but when you party, you'll get to know him America: what a fuckwit he happily presents himself as Libi: 😰 Libi: as long as that's in the bottom 3 of the experience, not top, then it won't put me off the 🥳 as a whole America: don't worry, you're too pretty to have to hear the full 💯 Libi: ❓❓❓ America: I just mean, he'll frame it like a compliment for you, so it'll be easier to take or brush off Libi: Compliments don't mean much when they come from an arsehole Libi: 🤷 America: I know Chi didn't feel that Libi: We've all got our taste, I guess Libi: or lackthereof Libi: I'm making myself sound more and more like a nun by the minute America: Not gonna insist that you prove you're not Libi: 🤞 it'll become clear Libi: obvious lack of habit aside America: Excellent wordplay Libi: Do my best Libi: though as it's art, not english, probably not appreciated by anyone but you rn America: Graffiti is words a lot of the time & that's art Libi: That's a good point Libi: I'll have to see if he goes for it America: Good luck Libi: Do you like high school so far? America: maybe that's supposed to be a weirder question than if I'm okay, but I lowkey do like it Libi: Me too 🙃 Libi: Primary was really boring by the end America: I thought everyone would treat me like a giant baby but I've made so many cool older friends already America: & I refuse to give my sister credit for them ALL Libi: Yeah, I thought the same thing Libi: apart from the usual dickheads being like that to everyone whatever the reason, everyone's been pretty chill Libi: and it's nice that we have SOME say over what we take now, instead of just doing a bit of everything America: My even older sister, from your flashbacks, made this place seem really different America: in a bad way Libi: SAME Libi: not your older sister, that would be random Libi: my aunties and stuff made it sound like literal HELL though America: She is a LOL random type, honestly, I'd believe it Libi: 😂 Libi: No DM slides from either sister, we're 👌 America: that'll happen when she finds out you pimped me to Sean Libi: 😬 Libi: well when you put it like THAT America: jk she hasn't threatened anyone on my behalf since everyone was over my OUTRAGEOUS lies about who my da was & I got doxxed to prove how 🥱 he is America: Primary really did get boring by the end Libi: Like I said, no imagination America: what was your favourite lie of mine? Everyone's got one Libi: 🤔 Libi: Long haul lorry driver Libi: because it seemed the most realistic so everyone thought that one was true America: I tripped myself up when I added he witnessed that 🚽 murder Libi: Right Libi: and then suddenly it was all along route 66 Libi: 👎 America: it was a better naming story than my mam's real reasons, I stand by that Libi: Was she a big traveller or wishes she was? America: this would be the PERFECT time for an elaborate lie Libi: Feel free America: you're expecting it now Libi: Suppose that does take away most of the fun Libi: Everyone thought I made up all the stuff about my parents too America: Why didn't you? Libi: That's the thing, probably would've been more comfortable for everyone if I did, honestly Libi: guess the details made it seem unbelievable enough but it just didn't cross my mind, really Libi: I was just wanting to 💬 about them all the time when I was little America: I remember that! Not saying you inspired me to become a pathological liar with how cool it all sounded though America: I probably wouldn't even if Chi hadn't be so mad you gatecrashed her birthday party Libi: 😏 See, can't say I couldn't hang America: she'll still try to but she's said worse Libi: To be expected America: like a text from Sean Libi: Let's not get it twisted though Libi: not excited for it America: 😐 is me Libi: What emoji can I be/ America: 🥳 when I'm done with you, bitch Libi: 😂 I accept America: ask your not boyfriend when he's down & slide into my dms Libi: I will Libi: You can hit up Sean and ask him when he hits you up, finally Libi: I think he's gonna hit you up just after lunch Libi: to show he's casual America: 🐁🐈 America: I'll resist the urge to throw myself at him before then America: to show I understand how this all works Libi: Very mature Libi: or actually, not, but we have to get down to boy's levels America: he's about at our level right now, I think that's how the age gap works Libi: That's fair Libi: there's a lot of lads who still think we're diseased or are more interested in whatever game they are rn America: yeah, I don't know how much he knew about me before we met but there's no escaping that we only just got here America: an age based lie isn't happening Libi: No, that's not working Libi: I don't think you need to lie though Libi: he clearly wants to get to know you more too or I'd be awkwardly letting you down right now, right America: unless you're either too nice to do it or mean enough to want to see me make a twat of myself Libi: 🧐 Libi: Have to see, but I am neither, for the record America: catch me on the rebound 🕷🕸 Libi: All part of the plan America: I'll partner up with you in PE, give you a chance to make your move America: the seating plan'll fuck you over for the rest America: really would look like a nazi if I force Bekah to give up her seat for me like I'm your new BFFL America: 💖💣 Libi: Maybe we don't bring up the 2nd N word around her, like Libi: otherwise she's gonna be cool America: 👌 I'll 🤫 America: no casual German dropped into the conversation Libi: You wanna sit next to each other in German though Libi: the boy I sat next to is 🥱😴 America: The boy I sit next to did fall asleep recently so yeah America: I need to know if I'm 🥱 or he's 😴 & it's not about me Libi: 👋 It's a date Libi: 😘 jk America: they do like it when we roleplay America: 💐🕯🍷

[heychangbin]

Billy in Westworld ║ Part One

Summary: There’s an indistinct rumbling that sounds throughout the city, one minute you're in the lobby of the building you work in as a personal assistant, the next you wake up wondering how the fuck you and Billy ended up in the old west. 

Wordcount: 2966 

Warnings: Violence, language, and attempted sexual assault. (If you want/need to avoid this scene, I’ve marked the beginning and end with “0o0o0”)

A/N: Y’all can blame/thank @dylanobrusso​ for this. This takes place in an alternate universe where Billy didn’t sell his soul and became Rawlins lapdog, he still manages to make ANVIL happen, and before Logan ever took William to Westworld.

Also, quick shout out to @something-tofightfor​ & @the-blind-assassin-12​ for being amazing, encouraging me, and answering my questions at weird as fuck hours. You dudes rock and I love you guys.

Taglist: @something-tofightfor​ @the-blind-assassin-12​ @songtoyou​ @its-my-little-dumpster-fire​ @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes​ @ificouldhelpyouforget​ @suchatinyinfinity​ @christinawxxx​ @drinix​

*******

You watched as the numbers on the elevator display crept down slowly, it was way past the end of your work day, your boss Mr. Fitzgerald, was training his son Parker, to take over his position while he was overseas on vacation and for when he inevitably retired, and had needed you to stay in the event that they would need something. Which they did, multiple times throughout the extra hour and a half that you stayed, and you would have liked to just head home, kickoff your heels and just faceplant onto the nearest comfortable surface, maybe squeeze in a quick power nap before going to meet your group of friends for your weekly get together at Josies, but the extra time at work had eaten away at the time and now you were 30 minutes late to meet everyone. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open to reveal the lobby and you smiled as you caught sight of Billy, and just like that some of the exhaustion of your too long day drained away. 

Stepping out of the elevator and took a moment to drink him in. His suit jacket was unbuttoned, the black silk tie you had helped tie around his neck that morning was nowhere is sight, it was most likely laying on the backseat of his car, and the few top buttons of his crisp white shirt were undone, all the sure signs of a rough day no doubt spent in meeting after meeting, negotiating one thing or another with potential clients. 

He hadn't noticed you yet, his attention solely on the screen of his phone. A  slight frown that morphed into annoyance with each passing second as he furiously typed away on the screen. It was when you noticed the tensing of his shoulders that you started walking towards him; the sound of your heels clicking against the marble floor making him look up from his phone, the frown disappearing almost instantly being replaced with a dazzling smile that, despite the amount of times you had seen it, never failed to take your breath away and made your heart try to beat itself out of your chest.

"Hey, ready to go?" He asked typing and sending one final message and pressing the power button a little harder than was strictly necessary, the screen going black before he slipped it into the pocket of his dark slacks. 

"God yes" you said, the exhaustion and annoyance of the day bleeding into your voice. 

"Long day?" His brows furrowed, no doubt wondering if you were up to being around your friends. 

"Longest I've had in awhile but nothing I can't handle" you assured him. 

"Y'know, the offer for you to come work for me still stands, I'd take good care of you." He said,his new york accent becoming more pronounced with his teasing tone and the full smile that spread across his lips.

"Are you seriously trying to poach me right now?" You asked around a laugh, coming to a stop in front of him, crossing your arms over your chest and arching a brow at him. 

Billy shrugged, his hands caming to rest on your hips, pulling them flush against his own, your hands coming to rest on his chest.

"Better hours, better pay, better...benefits" he murmure, his eyes going impossibly darker and hungry as he took you in and you knew he wasn’t talking about Anvils dental plan. 

No, the hungry way he was looking at you he was most likely thinking of all the office sex he would be having with you as his personal assistant. And though you very much liked the idea of riding to work together, being able to have lunch with him more often than not due to him being just a door away, you liked working for Mr. Fitzgerald. He was a great boss, kind and thoughtful, maybe when he retired and his son took over you would take Billy up on his offer. 

The witty remark that was on the tip of your tongue was swallowed up first by his mouth, his lips pressing against then moving expertly against your own, his tongue swiping against the seam to deepen the kiss, your hands trailing up his chest and into his hair, holding him securely to you. Then by a distant rumbling that grew as the seconds ticked by, making you pull apart. 

"Earthquake?" You asked a little breathless, ready to pull Billy underneath the nearest doorway and away from the floor to ceiling glass walls that make up the front of the building.

"No," He said calmly, eyes narrowing and his head tilting to the side as he looked out of the glass. "sounds like it's coming from underneath the city." He shifted slightly, putting himself in front of you as the rumbling grew louder and louder. He took a couple of steps forward, hand reaching inside his suit jacket and pulling out his gun, expertly gripping it between his hands and aiming it in the same motion with the ease that comes from 8 years of military training.

"Bill, maybe we should get outta here." You said nervously, reaching out to touch his shoulder as you took a step towards him. 

The rumbling stopped and an eerie quiet took its place, making your skin crawl. Then, in the distance there was a low hum and you were hit with a wave of vertigo making you pause and sway for a moment, 

“Billy?” you managed to murmur before your vision went hazy and you felt yourself stumble and begin to fall. The last thing you registered was Billy calling your name, his voice laced with worry before you were swallowed up by unconsciousness. 

****************************

You came to with a start, eyes flying open and shooting up immediately regretting the action as a wave of pain and dizziness threatened to make you empty the contents of your stomach. You closed your eyes and after a few deep concentrated breaths, your nausea settled and the pain faded to a dull, barely there ache. It's then that you're able to take in your surroundings and you felt your stomach drop at the unfamiliarity of it. 

You remember it being early evening, the July sunlight pouring in through the floor to ceiling windows that made up the front of you building where you worked, bathing Billy--Billy! Where's Billy? You thought in a panic as you looked around yourself, squinting your eyes in the dark but all you could make out were barren plains stretching out as far as the eye could see, making the panic in your chest grow and your heart beat erratically. 

calm down, said a voice that sounded eerily like Billy, said in the back of your mind. Panicking isn't going to help, it continued, bringing with it a memory from a few years ago.

“8 years of military service, 134 confirmed kills, 2 tours in Iraq, 1 in Afghanistan, CEO of your own private security company and you can’t remember from between what trees you came in through when you found me?” you cried incredulously.

“In my defense, when I got those kills and was doing my tours I wasn’t getting my brain sucked out through my dick.” the that only happened when I was on leave and stateside. hung in the air unsaid but you knew of Billy’s past, the way he had moved through countless women before he met you. 

You huffed and started to look around, was it getting darker? It definitely looked darker than when you arrived. Were there bears in New York? Oh god, were you gonna get mauled by Winnie the pooh?!?

Your breathing started coming in shorter bursts, the rising panic making you start to hyperventilate.

"Stop panicking." He said, his voice controlled and calm as if he wasn't lost in the middle of the woods with no idea how to get back to your campsite. Probably due to all his training, you were sure that being a lieutenant in the marines special forces he had had to have nerves of steel.

But you didn't and you couldn't pretend you did. 

"Billy, we're lost, how am I supposed to not panic!"

"Panicking about it isn't gonna help, you're just gonna work yourself up--"

"Of course I'm gonna get worked up, we're lost and we don't have our phones Billy! what if a bea--"

"STOP." He said over you, voice hard and commanding, sounding every bit the (decorated lieutenant) he still was under all the expensive tailored three piece suits, silk ties, and immaculate personal grooming. 

"What?" You stopped mid step, a little shocked, Billy had never raised his voice at you, not like this, not even during the heated argument you've had over the years. 

"S-T-O-P," he spelled out, voice back to its usual soothing (tenor), "Stands for stay calm, think, observe, and plan. First thing you gotta do is calm down." He said, stepping in front of you and placing his hands on your shoulders, it had the desired effect, the weight of them grounding you instantly, he noticed and gave you a crooked smile. "Now, think." 

And just like he had told you on his version of crash course camping 101, you took a deep breath and calmed yourself. About 95% of what he had taught you on that trip couldn't be applied to your current situation, but you knew that you had to remain calm. Panic was your worst enemy at the moment, the last thing you needed to do was hurry off in a random direction and get even more lost. 

You got up and dusted yourself off and looked at your surroundings again, this time with a more critical gaze. Straining your eyes you stared off into the dark night, looking to see if you could make out an elevated area, but all you could make out was flat planes, but there was what looked to be a tree in the distance. Trees need water to grow, so there had to be a water source nearby, if not it could at least provide you with some form of shelter for a few hours. Maybe, if it looked sturdy enough, you could climb it and survey the area again in the morning.

With that plan in mind, you steeled yourself, took off and gathered your heels even though you felt like it was a bad idea, but you weren't about to walk miles upon miles in your favorite shoes, even if they were the more sensible heels you owned, and began to walk. 

You hadn't been walking long when you were able to make out some moving shapes in the distance. A while later they were close enough for you to make out (three) riders on horses. You felt relief flood your system and breathed out a sigh, and 

quicken your pace, maybe you could hitch a ride to wherever they were headed, if not maybe they could at least point you in the direction of the nearest town. 

Once they were close enough for you to make out their features, your hopes of them being helpful dwindled, they looked like the stereotypical gang of the old westerns Frank was so fond of and made you watch whenever it was his turn to pick a movie for movie night. 

"Look at what we have here boys," the one at the front said, "haven't seen something like you around these parts before darlin'." You felt and saw his eyes rake over you, one of the men behind him stuttering out that they should continue on their way but he just waved him off, telling him that if he didn’t have the stomach for it to just turn around and wait until they were done, before he jumped off his horse and stalked towards you. 

He was tall and broad and even in the dark you could make out the sleek muscles, dirt clung to his face and dark clothes, making it look like he had gone a few days without a shower, a thick mustache sat above his lip connected to equality thick sideburns, on top of his head sat a black hat that looked like a top hat. Each step he took set off alarms in the back of your mind, making the voice in the back of your head scream at you to get away.

"Bet I can get 20 coins outta you than the usual 15," he said as his eyes gave you another once over, making a cold shiver run down your spine and the hairs at the nape of your neck stand on end, "but you know what darlin', I might just keep you for myself." The smile he then showed was predatory and lecherous. 

You took a step back but his hands shot out quick, like snakes and took hold of your wrists and pulled you to him, his head burrowing in the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply as he trailed the line of your neck up, behind your ear and into your hair.

0o0o0o0

"You gon' share 'er, right Rebus? Ain't no fair if you's da only one da 'ave sum fun." You looked past the man, Rebus, who was holding onto you, one of the other riders was leaning against the horn of his saddle, eyes just as lecherous. He was smaller, thinner than Rebus and looked to be younger. His face was shaven and as dirty as Rebus', his hair was kept longer at the top and short on the sides.

You started to struggle and pull away in earnest, you needed to get away from these men. 

"Oooh, she's a feisty one, Walter, you know how I like them with a little fight in them," he called out to his friend, then leaned closer to you and murmured, "gonna like taking the fight outta you."

Your mind reeled, going a mile a minute as you struggled against his hold and tried desperately to remember the countless self defense lessons Billy had given you.

Come on think! You screamed at yourself internally as you continued to try and break free, desperate and unable to recall how to break a wrist hold, you remembered the one thing that Billy had drilled into your head.

"Kick 'em on the balls. Hard. Don't hold back. It's not a death strike but it'll give you some time to put some distance between you and your attacker."

You braced yourself and swung your leg forward, putting everything you had behind it. 

One minute he was standing up straight, hard grip on your wrists, the next he was groaning, doubled over in pain, hands cupping his groin and you wasted no time in making a mad dash in the opposite direction. 

You didn't get far, maybe a foot or two away when the sound of hooves was behind you, making you push yourself to go faster, but too soon a house rounded you, and Walter jumped off his horse, landing a few steps away from you, hands held out in front of him, ready to shoot out and take hold of you once he was close enough. 

"Where you going darlin'?" He drawled as he took a step towards you.

You wish you had kept a hold of your shoes or had the mind to pick one up before you made a run for it, you were pretty sure the heels could have made for a makeshift weapon

"You bitch!" You heard from behind you, turning you see Rebus storming towards you, eyes and face red with fury, grabbing you again by the shoulders when he's close enough and hitting you with the back of his hand so hard across the face you fall to the ground. You cried out in pain as you hit the floor and he quickly following you down, pinning your wrists to the ground above your head and hovering over you, "I was gonna be gentle, but now, now--"

0o0o0o0

Before Rebus could finish his threat he was yanked off of you, the loud smack of something colliding made you close your eyes, it was followed by grunting and curses and at the sound of a new voice you opened your eyes. A few feet away from you, wrestling and punching your attacker was Billy, eyes wild, hair and clothes disheveled, he was straddling Rebus and each blow he delivered to your attacker was sure and precise. 

The relief that flooded your body at seeing Billy was damn near euphoric but the happiness of realizing that you weren't out here on your own was short lived when you felt a hand grab the back of your head and yank you up by your hair, making you cry out in pain, the sound fading and at the feel of cool steel against your temple. You heard the cocking of the gun at the same time that Billy flicked his right wrist, the hidden knife springing out and being plunged into Rebus' throat, holding it for a second then dragging it across his neck. The wind picked up then, carrying Rebus' pained gurgling away as his body lost strength, the hands that were struggling to fight him off falling limp to the floor. 

Billy’s chest was heaving with how hard he was breathing, but he wasted no time, pulling out the bloody blade and taking the gun that rested snugly in the holster at Rebus’ hip. Standing and turning in the direction where you were being held by Walter, aiming the gun in the same motion. 

"Let her go," Billy’s voice was hard and controlled as he pulled the hammer of the gun back, cocking it, "I'm not gonna say it again. Let. Her. Go."

#the punisher #billy russo #westworld #billy russo x reader #billy russo x you #billy russo fic #westworld crossover #billy in westworld

[ftm-quest]

Hello, so I figured I might as well talk a little bit about my last surgery on the 26th of July.

As I’ve mentioned before, in Germany (or at least in my clinic) there are four total stages to phalloplasty: 1. “kleiner Aufbau” (clitoral release/metoidioplasty, urethral lengthening, vaginectomy, oopherectomy, hysterectomy), 2. “großer Aufbau” (the phallus is formed using skin from the forearm, urethral opening is pointing down again), 3. connection of the new urethra in the phallus, construction of the glans and scrotum, 4. erectile and testicular implants. Far as I’m aware, these stages are broken up to lower the risk for complications.

I am now about 2 weeks post stage 1. Overall I had to stay in the hospital for 10 days post op. I went to the Chirurgische Klinik München Bogenhausen, which is a clinic with a team of very skilled, young and well trained surgeons, well known among trans men for their skill in phalloplasties. Absolutely worth the 6 hour train trip in my opinion. In the following I will go over more detail of my hospital stay.

Day before the surgery

I arrived about an hour late to my pre-treatment interviews the day before the surgery (thank you Deutsche Bahn), which was fine in the end though, but I had to wait a little longer at their offices. The talk with the urologist was very good, I felt like she explained every step well and carefully and took her time with me (not that I needed much because I knew about most things already). After that I got admitted to the hospital, where I already saw some trans men while I was checking in at the reception desk. My room was on station one, which is known for being the station with almost exclusively trans patients. I shared a room with (apparently during his stay) the only other guy that had stage 1 like me. We got along super well, I got to ask him a bunch of questions, it was great. Some time during the evening I had to get an enema to empty out my intestines (I also wasn’t allowed to really eat anything apart from very salty broth as soon as I was admitted, which sucked because I hadn’t eaten much all day), which was an.... interesting experience, but not terrible.

Surgery day

Once again I got lucky and my surgery was the first, so I got woken up at about 6:20 am and got to take another shower (shaved some more, I had already shaved at home which I strongly recommend, especially if you have a lot of body hair like me), put on the hospital gown and waited and waited until about 7:15 am (felt like hours) when I was picked up by a nurse and rolled down to the OP floors. Had to say my name and birth date to about a million people (for confirmation that they got the right guy) and eventually got my narcosis (took longer than for mastectomy).

When I woke up, I kinda just woke up every once in a while for a few seconds and would doze off again. I didn’t really talk to the nurses there, but listened to them talk a bit to other patients. Had a little bit of pain if I remember right in the area of the uterus and I was just kinda sleepy from what I remember. Later, when I was rolled back up to my room, the nurses told me that I had been moving a lot in the wake up room which I have no awareness or memory of at all and they had to give me some more meds to keep me still. Back in my room I think I was a bit better again, talked a bit to my roommate and all. I can’t remember that much from that day, but I know it was very uneventful, I slept a bunch.

Days after surgery

I hadn’t really eaten anything for the first one or two days after surgery because I was afraid of having to puke from the anesthesia, but eventually I got around to it some morning. On the first day post op I got to stand up once for a few seconds, felt a little woozy and then lied down again. Overall I sometimes had pain mostly in the urethra area, didn’t have much pain from the vaginectomy at first. They give you lots of pain meds tho, so it never really gets bad. On day 2 post op they helped me stand up again and from that point on I was allowed to stand up and walk around on my own, empty my catheter on my own and so on. Walking was a little uncomfortable, I had to walk kinda slow and all. Also that day my roommate got released after having some troubles urinating without a catheter, but eventually it worked out for him and he didn’t need to get another suprapubic catheter. On day 3 post op I had to switch rooms (I later found out that my old room got women and I guess they didn’t want to have mixed rooms) and my new roommate was just at stage 3. We didn’t get along quite as perfectly as I did with my roommate before (we were both sad he had to leave so soon), but we eventually got along better and better as time progressed. He had some more complications and we both ended up leaving the hospital on the same day. But it was pretty cool because he told me a bunch about the second stage, gave me some tips and actually showed me his penis. It was really amazing seeing it in person and not just in photos, it does look and seem quite different, but it looked very impressive and real and I just can’t wait.

At day 4 post op they removed the drain and the “band aids” over my genitalia which finally removed the pains I was getting from the band aids pushing into my vaginectomy wounds, but on the downside introduced me to the real annoyances and pains of catheters. Since now the catheter was free to move around (before it was fixed through the thick layers of band aids) it could introduce all kinds of discomfort and pains to the sensitive area. I’d say it progressively moves from just being annoying to being more and more painful. In general my t-dick has been feeling painfully overstimulated since about 6 or so days post op and it still does. On the other hand catheters are also kinda handy since you don’t have to get up all the time to pee! Also after the removal of the last band aid one day later I was finally allowed to shower again. Very difficult and painful with a catheter.

Moving around was pretty easy for me relatively early on and I could do most things already just a few days post op, except for sitting. I was worried the sitting could cause problems on the train ride home, but when I tried to sit again on the last days, I could do it without much trouble.

As the days went on, the catheter got more annoying, I got less pain meds (only at night) and the days became more and more boring. Finally on day 9 post op I got my catheter removed very early in the morning. Short little sting but nothing bad. At first I had trouble peeing and I felt like I couldn’t completely empty my bladder. Later on though, when I had an ultrasound to check on the amount of urine in my bladder (my brother who is studying medicine did it because the doctor found out that he studies medicine and wanted to let him try, was kinda awkward), I only had about 40ml in my bladder which is more than good enough, thus sealing the decision that I will be allowed to leave the next day. On that day I also took a shower and peed in the shower (which worked much easier than sitting on the toilet for some reason) and the feeling of seeing your stream go forward like that and being able to control where it goes... Much more impactful that I ever imagined. I also eventually tried standing to pee at the toilet which worked out pretty well, although I get tiny sprinkles at the edges of the toilet (no idea why) and I have to get my pants down completely. The last few drops have to be dried with a piece of toilet paper.

And so I did, the train ride back luckily did not have nearly as many problems as the ride there, although I did have to carry my luggage a bit (which you aren’t really supposed to because it’s too heavy...). On the plus side, I peed standing at a public toilet on the train for the first time, which was also pretty awesome. No more sitting on disgusting public toilets!

Days at home

On the first morning home, I had a bit of a shock because I initially experienced the same problems as my first roommate that I couldn’t pee well as in only drops came out instead of a stream and it felt like my bladder wasn’t completely emptied. Luckily it got better an hour or so later. I’ve been having that problem for all days since I got home although I noticed it got a bit better since about yesterday. Most likely areas around my urethra are more internally swollen at night and thus close the urethra a bit in the morning. I actually feel pain when I completely empty my bladder right in the area where it feels like the swollen tissue is compromising the urethra. Overall though, it’s just getting better and better. I haven’t been taking any meds in a long time, the stitched already look really well healed, the wounds on the stomach from the oopherectomy and hysterectomy are super tiny for me and already super well healed.

I won’t have to work for the next 1 1/2 weeks, which should be more than enough time to recover. Honestly with the work I do I could already work again, but hey gotta use any sick leave you get right. I am a little bored most days, but my girlfriend is coming back soon so then things will get brighter and more fun again!

Next surgery and conclusion

My time at the hospital was boring, but almost all nurses were very friendly, funny and competent, the food was decent (hated dinner) and to me it was just an incredible experience that is hard to describe to be at a clinic where almost everyone is a trans patient that is further along in their medical transition than I am. You see so little of trans men in media, in communities just anywhere and even less of trans men with bottom surgery. It’s been my experience as well many others that the further along you go on your road to and along phalloplasty the harder it gets to relate to trans men that are still early in their transition. So finally being around people like me and people more experienced than me in this aspect was just amazing and I am very grateful and looking forward to my next stay.

Regarding that, from what I heard from other trans men usually the waiting time for stage two is about 4 months, which won’t work for me because of university. I hope I will be able to get an appointment in mid February because that will be the last time I can be missing for 6 weeks (I will most likely be doing internships this time next year). More importantly I hope my arm will be ready in time as I have not yet been able to start epilation because of the long long process of getting confirmations from my insurance. I am now waiting on the last confirmation after having had a consulation and after that I can finally start. Hopefully at least the area they use to build the urethra will be done in time, as the rest can be done post op as well.

Additionally, I find it interesting to note that from what I hear in the clinic, most patients that have complications are smokers, so since I have never smoked in my life and my healing so far has went really well, I count my chances high for staying complication-free.

In the end, this stage 1 doesn’t do much for me in regards to dysphoria apart from the fact that I can pee standing (just not at urinals), but with this experience of having surgery, being closer to phalloplasty than ever and having met and talked to men that have already had it, I have never been more excited and anxious to finally have phalloplasty and I really really can’t wait until it’s finally here. I know the hospital time will be very difficult, but the joys and new discovery of my own body and more will be worth all the struggle.

#text #bottom surgery #metoidioplasty #trans man

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x04

Well now, we’ve hit a rather interesting point in the season now haven’t we? Can you say DRAH-MAH. This week’s episode, ‘An Inside Glob’, sees the tension that’s been mounting in the first three episodes of season 6 reach boiling point. And then boil over. Into a restaurant full of onlookers. Then onto Reddit. Lol. Now I may be biased because of my love of Miriam Shor (or I am simply an appreciator of good directing when I see it), but this week’s ep was so well put together, it felt like there was ample room for each scene to breathe and the pacing overall felt significantly less frantic than it sometimes does. There was a familiarity, for lack of a better word, about the structure and the feel of this ep, not to mention the writing left me legit laughing out loud many times throughout. The writers are bringing it this season. We also see the welcome return of two faves: Charles’ three-piece suit and Liza’s silver-suit power-tude. Let’s dive on in.

You always know it’s going to be a good ep when it opens with a loft heart-to-heart between Liza and Maggie, but not before Liza meets Maggie’s new boo Beth (with Liza’s ‘ew’ and hand wiping after Maggie tells her they just finished a session equal parts gold and gross). Their whole interaction, from the ‘I promise not to call him Chaz’ (was anyone else hoping she would call him Chaz, because I was HANGING for a Chaz drop at dinner. There’s still time...), to Liza sharing her concerns that Charles is secretly financing a new company and Maggie trying to justify all the coincidences and reassure her, it was just premium bff content. Not to mention a great set-up for the episode and follow on from the last one.

Liza continues to try and allay her suspicions about Charles by getting Kelsey’s view of the funding source after the morning meeting with my new fave power-trio (quick poll: Zane always looking like a dog who just ate your pizza - accurate or nay?) and Diana brings the top quality delivery of one liners right from the get-go as we’re introduced to this week’s author, Bronwyn Madigan (aka, the cash cow whose milk Millennial could use...yes, D. Trout, you did need to say that). Apparently baby boomers like to top off their reading of erotica with a good meatloaf (actual meatloaf, get your minds out of the euphemistic gutter) and that is now two foodstuffs I have a strained relationship with following this ep of Younger. Liza is able to quash her spidey senses re: the Mercury money briefly, as Kelsey reveals she’s been doing some digging and discovered the company is operating out of the financial district, therefore obviously it’s a big media company behind it. Obviously...

Lo and behold Kelsey marches her feisty self down to the Mercury office to confront Zane and weaves through hopeful start-up founders in a co-working space to find him (also, are AirPods a pre-req to land a job at Mercury?). Their entire exchange had a couple of ‘whoa’ moments for me. Exhibit A, when discussing how Zane secured Audrey Colbert’s book:

Kelsey: ‘So you slept with her? God, that is completely unethical. And so creepy”

Zane: ‘But it’s fine when you do it?’

File under: T for TRUTH. Not gonna lie, I almost applauded. I would have filed under H for Hypocrite except the next part of the conversation, in which Kelsey throws the accusation that Zane went after Audrey because he knew she was (and I’m with Zane on this one, she is going to need to learn to suck it up when Millennial loses out on books, our pal Kels is on one steep learning curve), followed with, ‘that book was important to me and you knew it’, goes straight to the H folder. How does Zane know it? Could it be because Kelsey told Zane she was going after Audrey’s book? Even after he told her he had a job, that he was just waiting for everything to line up and considering his history of swooping in and being competitive? While they are not fully comparable situations, I found this a bit rich considering the grief Kelsey gave Liza for discussing business with Charles (I get that was her insecurity and feeling he would interfere), when her discussions with Zane have seemingly led him to going after this book. Which is 100% in character for him btw.

I have been liking a lot of Kelsey’s boss moments this season but this week it certainly felt like she was in way over her head. At her lunch with Lauren, yet another combo I thoroughly enjoy on my screen, we once again see Lauren being the relentlessly supportive friend she always is and educating Kelsey on the dos and don’ts of dating apps (surely Kelsey knew that deleting an app doesn’t delete your profile right??? Putting it down to stress amnesia). Pointing out that putting your job title on your dating profile if it is in any way a potential threat to male ego is a big no-no (’this kind of over-accomplishment only works if you’re trying to pick up women’), Lauren offers up that Kelsey suffers from BDE. Of course we later discover that rather than big dick energy, Kelsey is suffering bald dude energy, confirmed by her alopecia diagnosis. I did so enjoy Kelsey’s dramatic reactions, ‘just keep an eye out ok?’, to the whole ordeal and it certainly added another element to the rising tension.

Cue hilarious conversation with Diana about her own battle with hair loss (not on her head) along with the rest of her ailments (shingles seems to be a running theme this season. Did someone in the writers room have a shingles flair up recently after reading a particularly terrible autobiography or suffer month-specific breakouts aka Diana’s electric tube top? Need to know). Even though it was not making Kelsey feel better necessarily, this was Diana being supportive in her own way and I am just here for it every day of the week. I think what I enjoyed most about the office scenes in this episode, aside from every single line that came out of Diana’s mouth, were the moments that were reminiscent of the old office dynamic. From Diana bleating ‘Liza’ as she enters Liza’s office (still can’t believe that’s a thing) with the idea of advertising erotica on the bike kiosks to the sarcasm when Liza asks ‘Bronwyn’s?’ and Diana responds with ‘no, my own’. We finally get to meet author of ‘The Seasoned Slut’ (loving the guest casting this season btw) who oozes a self-assurance that only serves to emphasise her reason for not re-signing with Millennial: that her problem ‘is with the lack of value placed on experience’. Ugh, I loved this line. 

I loved it because it is an absolute reality, especially for women in the workplace, and goes hand in hand with the ageism this show’s entire premise was built upon. I loved it because this show tells us that experience is and should be valued through Zane’s comment in episode one, that Kelsey should not lose Diana as she is the best in the business and Kelsey telling Diana that she values and respects her. And I loved this line because the set-up for this season remains true to the original premise and challenges it at the same time, taking another look at the role age/experience and gender play in success and reinventing yourself. Did I mention I love this show?

Liza’s reaction to the question of ‘where is the grey hair in the room?’ was also noted, a nice reminder that the age-lie is still in play and is never far from the surface. The other thing I loved in the meeting with Bronwyn was Diana’s horror that she a) might be considered the demographic for her books and b) ‘do people think I’m her age?’ I cannot imagine a time I will ever watch this line and not roar with laughter. I also love that that was the main takeaway Diana had from the whole BJ comment this woman just casually dropped in as she exited, you know, as one might mention they know a great bagel place you might enjoy nearby. 

Josh’s parenting journey continues to unfold as he gets his first overnight stay with Gemma, but not before experiencing some kind of parental rite of passage and being squirted in the face with breast milk. I know there is a lot of mistrust of Clare out there in the internet but I will keep saying this week after week, I am so enjoying seeing Josh and Clare navigating this modern-day parenting arrangement together. I appreciate Josh’s desire to be there for both Clare and Gemma in any way he can and I appreciate that Clare appears to be open and wanting the same. I am not the biggest fan of baby storylines in general but I tell you what, to see Lauren pacing up and down cradling this little person, I am 100% pro-baby. This is one of my favourite moments of the whole episode and just when I thought there couldn’t possibly be any more layers to Lauren Heller, I get the up-all-night-with-crying-baby Lauren and I simply cannot: ‘I have been up all night with a crying baby. Why? I don’t know, because the rest of you either don’t have ears or you don’t have souls’. Early contender for line of the season. Kelsey’s bag-of-hair inducing scream finally wakes Josh and Lauren’s reaction, for him to ‘get it together man, Kelsey doesn’t need this’, epitomises Lauren’s selfless nature (which I just love as it seems so contradictory to her sometimes self-absorbed tendencies). It was not because she was up all night with his child, it was that Kelsey was in the midst of a crisis that Lauren needed Josh to pull it together and it just reinforces yet again what a multi-dimensional, caring character she is. And yes Josh, you are the dad, not the babysitter (kudos for this Alison Brown) so you may need to learn to sleep a little more lightly or something FYI.

Kelsey’s hair stress continues to play out as she runs into Maggie, who was also hoping to make a covert pharmaceutical purchase and the two wander back to Maggie’s for the scene I have been looking forward to since the possibility of such a scene came into play. I am of course talking about dinner at the loft and the integration of Charles into the friend circle. Kelsey’s freak out seems to be hitting fever pitch as she asks Beth for advice but this is soon interrupted by the arrival of Charles and Liza, who come bearing blackout cake (which I googled and holy chocolate pudding it looks AMAZING) in the most adorbs coupley entrance and don’t mind me, just having a quiet gush over here. Ok, I’m done. While Kelsey is over chatting with her old boss, Beth puts her naturopathy into practice by suggesting Maggie take a more natural approach to treating her yeast infection, doing some seasoning of her own to let a clove of garlic work its magic. Between jalapeno dick and garlic vag, this show loves to make us consider our spices in a whole new light.

This entire dinner party scene was next level, I want to frame a picture of it and put it on my wall because yes. We have casual, relaxed Charles, who is the first to ask if there is garlic bread on the menu (I love so much that he was the first to smell it) and seriously, from this moment, the unfolding of the garlic saga was nothing short of amazing. Kelsey was so amped this whole scene, she’s like a tightly wound ball and it was palpable. Her interjections as she commented that it smells like an everything bagel and agreement about the garlic knot and escargot were just brilliant contrasts to her otherwise increasing intensity. I so adored seeing Kelsey and Charles interacting casually and seeing what this would (ahem, could have) look like. But Kelsey asking Liza if she’d told Charles about Brownyn Madigan...I’m sorry, but how could she WHEN SHE CAN’T TALK ABOUT WORK WITH CHARLES? This bit made my head hurt a bit. Surely Liza in that moment must have been thinking the same (also Liza’s moment of identifying a garlic knot, so so good). 

What I love most about this scene is that we have Kelsey’s conversation getting more intense by the minute as she jumps from unloading about the stress of work, to Zane and his new venture, before finally climaxing with her ‘who is it?’ declaration, all the while having zero suspicion that Mercury’s investor is sitting right beside her. Side note: I really like Charles’ comment that he’s sure it is business, not personal re: Zane. I think it’s interesting considering the stereotype that women are too emotional vs. men and I’m curious to see how this plays out this season as Kelsey finds her feet. Meanwhile, Charles is trying to have a nice double date with his gf, while also keeping a secret that is the cause of much of the distress Kelsey is sharing with the table, while Liza takes the opportunity to make Charles squirm by pressing the point about the money for Zane’s venture coming from somewhere. It’s such an intricate web and of course parallel to that is Maggie’s secret vagina garlic that has the whole room assuming some kind of paranormal baking is taking place before Maggie responds to Kelsey’s ‘who is it?’ with, ‘it’s me!’ and it was just too much. My reaction was the same as everyone around the table when Maggie announced the source of the garlicky aroma, what a dinner party (and what a way for Charles to avoid any further scrutiny).

I am so glad that the conversation that needed to happen finally did this week and that was, of course, Liza confronting Charles about his involvement in Mercury. Oy, my heart. It broke a little when Liza gave Charles the opportunity to come clean and he didn’t and she had to ask so directly. It was so good to hear these two talking, like properly talking, and Charles explaining that he had to make choices in order to be with Liza but he never wanted to give up publishing for good was great insight into the journey Charles has been on post-Empirical, especially as we really haven’t been privy to that. I felt for both of them at various stages during the conversation. I do believe Liza understands why Charles would want to reinvent himself but I also understand why she would feel so hurt that he would keep such a huge thing from her (although again, they’d agreed not to talk about work at Liza’s request so *insert shrug emoji here*). 

But it does highlight an ongoing issue which I really hope gets properly addressed sometime soon and that is where Liza’s loyalties lie. I think it is unquestionably not ok that Charles set up a rival company while Chairman of the Board of Millennial, for obvious reasons. However, had he told Liza, she would have felt compelled to tell Kelsey, which I have no doubt Charles knows and would expect as she is the publisher, so in not telling Liza he is yes protecting his own interests but also stopping her from being in a compromised position. So while Charles’ secrecy is disappointing, so is Liza’s text to Kelsey the following morning asking to meet before work after Charles asked specifically that she tell no one about him financing Mercury just yet. 

This episode comes to a head at Suffolk House in a most spectacular fashion. Hilary Duff really did knock this entire ep out of the water with her acting, I cannot heap enough praise on her for the entire performance. You just knew it was gonna be good when Liza turned up as Kelsey was intercepting Bronwyn in an attempt to convince her that Zane was a bitter ex-employee (not very professional IMO but we won’t focus on that for now), only to discover that Bronwyn didn’t know Zane from a wart on her butt (delightful). She was in fact there to meet...dun-dun-dunnnnn...Charles (shout-out to the three piece suit, always a welcome sight, did not disappoint)! Kelsey was justifiably angry, however the stark contrast in experience and maturity was well and truly on show as she proceeded to express herself very loudly and publicly, despite Charles and Zane suggesting they step outside. Zane clocked the smart phone filming the entire incident and you just knew that Kelsey’s outburst was going to come back to bite her.

Regardless of whether Kelsey was in the right or wrong, she certainly came off worse in the way she handled it. My favourite part of the scene was Liza FINALLY re-awakening that gutsy silver suit wearing power, her turning and telling Bronwyn that Charles called her books matron lit was this season’s manuscript drop. And thank f-ing god. One of the things I’ve always loved about the Liza/ Charles dynamic is that Liza stands up for herself with him when she doesn’t with so many others and she is not afraid to call him out, which has been missing these past couple of eps. So now that that has been restored, I am legit so excited to see how this relationship moves forward.

The ramifications of the restaurant confrontation are of course trending on Reddit by the next morning, and Liza and Diana have the unenviable job of delivering the news that even though Charles was in the wrong for setting up the company the way he did, he has since resigned from the board and a number of authors are making noise about jumping ship to Mercury (I was going to say that I think Kelsey might have preferred it if her eyebrows actually had fallen off in that moment but I feel like that’s probs false).

The fact that Kelsey and Charles are pitted against one another as publishers and Liza and Zane as editors provides the most glorious opportunity to explore the ideas of reputation vs. experience. vs. gender vs. fresh ideas and I am so here for it, so damn excited, and so sure that whatever ends up playing out this season, it will be nothing that I expect. In the meantime I’m going to compile every Diana Trout line from this episode into a ringtone because what workplace wouldn’t want Diana talking about nutcracker’s oesophagus ringing through the open-plan office?

#youngertv #younger tv #ramble #review #6x04 #sutton foster #peter hermann #kelsey peters #diana trout #maggie amato #lauren heller #team charles #younger season 6

[polygamyff]

16.

Listening to the phone in my office ring out, I am back in New York as I am. Having my phone off was not the best idea, I am playing catch up with things. As soon as I dropped Robyn off, kissed her goodbye I flew out here. With Robyn’ permission of course I said that can I stay here, I have been here for about a week now, maybe going on two “my bad, Maurice. I have found the perfect home for us” finally this has been a headache “it’s like twenty minutes away from Robyn so you can go there but this place is nice, three point two million. Six bedrooms, four parking spaces but we can work on that. We can develop space for you, I told the guy we want a quick sale. It is an estate that has a guard twenty four hours, it is a gated community so no coming in and out bullshit. I personally like and I know you will, I just left the home now. I will send you the details and you can see” I will have to get that from my own account “ok, listen. I trust your judgement on this, get the estate agent to call me. Do not call Ally, this sale is not going to be done through the advisor, this is coming out of my money. I don’t want nothing to do with dad so he can’t come back at me with the shit, so call me ok? And good looking out, did you take Leon to his meeting with the owner of the club?” my messenger chat popped open, it’s Ally saying Kellen is here “oh yeah, it’s all good. He’s started already and he is so appreciative. He will be earning enough money so he good, I’ve done it” my brother is doing well “ok, well just do that for me and we can finally live in a home, take care” shifting up on my chair “bye bro” he disconnected the call “you came on time for your little meeting” I said smiling at Kellen as he sat down.

He is not happy at all “since when do I book in appointments to see you?” piling my paperwork to the side “since when you’re not family, you know I don’t have much of that. It’s nice you can come all the way to New York, what do you want anyways?” resting my head back on the chair “I just wanted to get this out of the way, we got on before Robyn just fine, now we arguing. I don’t want that, and you giving my money back making a point. Family is family, women come and go” is he trying to make valid points here or something “just like Tiff, come on Kellen. You don’t seem happy at all, I thought you was? Or did she realize she got with the wrong guy” I laughed at him “fuck you Maurice, we good over here. You only know Robyn now, you ain’t know her before. Yes she’s beautiful, everyone wants to be her friend” clearing my throat “wait, did she reject you? Is this what you trying to tell me? If I knew Robyn and then I saw Tiff, I would be hurt too” the anger in Kellen’ eyes is really making me laugh because I am right “did you go for second best cousin?” if only he could kill me, he probably would “she’s been with better men than you, I should know. I tried with Robyn she didn’t want me” he is funny “but then she got better than you because she got me, so your point is invalid. She didn’t want you because you’re a dickhead, I will always be better than you. So just to confirm you didn’t want Tiff, you wanted Robyn but you got second best, see this is why you will always be just that in life” getting up from my chair “so you came here for what?” I know he didn’t come here to hear me drag his ass “I just wanted to see you, your wife has a new home. She has that birthmark, on her back, just under her brastrap” squinting my eyes at Kellen “if you trying to tell me you had sex with my wife, I don’t care. You just tasted my dick in her, Kellen. I don’t care now please, I have work to do” walking around my desk “you didn’t deserve Noami, neither do you deserve Robyn, you hear that” his bitter ass

Now I am wondering, he is making me think now. She really had sex with Kellen, so not only do I live the life Kellen wants, I have the women he wants. I am confused now, I do have a right to go to Texas and threaten her ass into telling me. If she is getting dick good but my cousin, I need to know if that is true “Maurice” Ally said my name touching my hand, snatching it back and breaking my train of thoughts “you got this, it got delivered by hand. So here” taking the brown envelope from her “thanks” touching my hand like that for, she has always been like that with me though “so you bought me here, what did Kellen want?” Ally said picking up her knife and fork “you think Noami would have sex with Kellen?” I blurted out “I don’t care but I just need to know, do you think? You have been around a while, so what you think?” Ally stared down at her plate all wide eyed “I personally say no, she was too in love with you. That is all I can say, she adores you a lot” if she thinks that then it could be untrue but I am still going to say it to her “he’s been talking shit, that is why I told you to do what you did. But the real reason why I called you over here, there is no real easy way of putting it but I think it is time you moved onto better things, being my assistant is not your everything and I remember you telling me you always wanted to work in accounting, you did that right?” The knife and fork crashed down onto the plate, the loud clank echoed around the restaurant “you’re getting rid of me? I told you that sex thing was just that, I like being your assistant I do so many things and I get paid well, don’t do this to me” this is pretty much picking Robyn or Ally and Robyn has my child and I love her, Ally is just someone I have known and grown used too “I have put in for you to be moving over to work with Shawn in his company, it’s accounting. You will get paid the same, it’s in New York. You’re not missing out on money, I made sure you get the same” Shawn still ain’t happy about the pay but it’s whatever.

She is not happy “what have I done? I am always there for you, I work my ass for you even when I am at home. I am there for you, always working hard. What have I done? I allowed you to come to my apartment drunk, stayed with me, looked after you. We had sex, so what Maurice. We are grown adults, I wanted it as much as you. What is it, you want sex again because I already told you that I don’t mind being the side girl? I already feel more like your girl than Naomi, I am more with you than she is” sighing out heavily “sex is just sex with you, Ally. You’re a good girl, you deserve a lot and I am at this point in my life where I need to clean house. Look, we been through a lot for those years, you know me I get it. This is why I want you to have the best, this is why I am making sure Shawn is taking care of you am I not? I do feel bad already, but this won’t happen straight away. Shawn said the next few weeks. Don’t make it any harder than it is, I am doing this personally for you. I could have emailed you this” why is she getting emotional, women “than why do it? There is something in your life that has changed you, I know. You have been doing things out of the blue, staying away and taking your work phone off”she really liked me “because Ally, I am going to be a dad” her eyes widened “not with Noami either but she don’t know that” Ally placed her hands over mouth, she really crying “why you crying? Seriously Ally, suck it up. You’re a beautiful girl, you will get a man that loves you. You don’t want a fuck buddy” Ally took in a deep breath “so you got some random girl pregnant? I did think that I would get with you, I thought you liked me” she pointed at me as she got up “I do like you but I don’t love you, it’s not love if I am fucking you drunk and then leaving you on the bed. I wasn’t stupid enough to get my assistant pregnant” getting up from my seat also “it all comes together now, why you’re moving you California. Maurice, I” she stopped abruptly “I fucking like you so much, working was the best thing. Don’t worry, I keep a lot of your shit secret anyways. This is just another to the list, see you at work” she walked off in a huff.

I must be for real stupid, how she going to catch feelings like that when she even said it’s just sex. Women are crazy, Robyn must have felt it from her but it’s done now. I just need to find a new assistant which is a pain, I hope she is ok anyways so I will check on her later. Grabbing the envelope, ripping it open. Pulling out the paper, this must be the contract she has sent. I think I am going to say no and then set out my own, I will not abide by her rules so there is that. Scanning the paperwork, everything seems pretty laid out correctly but I already say no, she assumes I will have her at my events. That will be a big fat no, screw it. I will do one myself, placing the paperwork on the passenger seat. Sighing out looking ahead of me sat in the car, seeing Ally stood at the bus stop. Putting my car engine on, putting my indicator on and checking my side mirror before driving out. Pulling up at the side of the stop, putting my window down “we are going to the same place Ally, get in the car” she didn’t look at me but just looked away “Ally, don’t be like every girl. Be different, come on. We are going back to the same place are we not!?” she looked at me “why care? Just go, I need some air” putting my window up and driving off, I can’t be bothered right now because I have enough on my plate.

I miss Robyn like crazy, we talk every day but not seeing her hurts. I bet her stomach has grown, I just want to hold her close to me when I see her beautiful face. My New York office is half packed away, obviously moving it to California but I would need to visit here now and then. The office desk start ringing, picking the phone up “hello Maurice?” I have to be formal “your wife is on the phone” it’s Ally “fix your attitude and put her through” annoying ass “hi Maurice” Noami said down the phone, mind you I have not spoken to her since I told her the home is being sold “get enough money for the home?” she asked “I did, it pays some of the new home off. By the way I decline the contract. I don’t wish to be with you anywhere, if we happen to be there I will be staying away from you. I want to make sure I make it clear that soon we will be divorcing” which is true “whatever Maurice, just send me what you want” women are so annoying, I just want these bitches to leave my life now “good, bye” putting the phone down, bitches be giving me attitude left, right and centre.

Closing Ally’ office door “what do you want now? Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone about your child, there is a lot of things I keep a secret��� I chuckled “not by choice, you’re contracted too and that same contract still stands. I have to money to make sure you have nothing left, we can either end as friends or enemies. I didn’t know you liked me that way, I really didn’t” that is the truth, I don’t pay attention “well now you do, I did think at some point I would have been more to you but I guess. Contract or not I could but I am not, I care about you so whatever. Look Maurice, let me get over it and the fact you’re having a child, not with your wife either” my phone started ringing “well for now, you are still with me so keep it that way. Get off early, I won’t bug you. You will get full pay still” seeing that Robyn is calling, dragging open her office door “Bonita, it’s been a while” Robyn giggled down the phone “well, I don’t schedule when I call but I am on my break so I called you. Wanted to let you know tomorrow is the scan” Robyn is an ass, she knew the date a while ago but she wouldn’t say anything “what if I am busy?” I said knowing I will be there “then don’t come to see after the scan, listen here. I have been good, I have been nice enough to allow you to be in New York for the amount of time. I want you back home now, it’s been a while. The face time calls ain’t cutting it” she ain’t wrong, I want more “well it’s fine, I have done a lot of what I need. I will seen you tomorrow” I just want to hug my baby.

“Oh god Leon, I want sex. I really wanting dick” Leon shrieked out laughing “oh my god, you really horny? He has made you into a real ass freak. Oh wow. After you told me he ate you out I knew it though” I think that is what pushed me to the edge with wanting sex but it’s this baby, has to be “well he is coming back tomorrow, I have my own apartment so I will be riding him till I am tired” it will happen “god, well you can. I am working tomorrow night, you get some dick boo. I support you” Leon said “thank you, why did I never move. I love this, look at us. I mean it’s not a dick party but we getting old for that” Leon waved me off “speak for yourself but I love this, I am just so happy here. I do miss my mom but her gremlins get under my skin, but friend. How you feeling? Ain’t this like an important scan?” nodding my head “nervous, I can’t believe that my stomach is getting bigger than it should be. I am going to be too fat to ride Maurice” Leon is laughing but I am right.

My mom and dad have seen my apartment and they love it, they are just happy that I am happy which I am, I just need more space for my clothes. I had to leave some at my parent’ house, applying my massacre “you want me to get the door or do you?” Leon opened my bedroom door “no, I will. It’s him” he text me that he is here, getting up from my seat at my vanity table. I have only done on eye so I probably look like a crazy bitch, running across the living room. Unlocking the door and pulling it open “Maurice!!!” I don’t care for shoes right now, dragging the door open and running out. Jumping on him “I missed you so much” he said as I wrapped my legs around his waist “I am getting all emotional now, please don’t go again” Maurice walked into my apartment “I am here now, don’t cry. Hi Leon” pressing kisses to his neck and then trailed along side of his cheek and then onto his lips “I miss you, I miss you, I miss you so much” kissing his lips every time I said it “god, leave him alone girl!” Leon complained “I missed you too, what happened to your eye” he looked at me “oh god, I am doing my make up. I will be with you, let me get ready” I am so happy he is here with me, my love.

I wanted to wear my Chanel jacket today so I put it along with my basic white tee, this jacket cost my man five grand and I think it is real fur. While I can I am wearing heels but I hope I look good for my man, walking out of my bedroom I can hear both Leon and Maurice talking away. I love this, look at them both talking, just getting along. Making my way into the living area “don’t all give compliments out” I said as I twirled “you look beautiful Robyn, you dress so well. How can every outfit suit you?” I shrugged smiling “actually Maurice, why did this bitch not get me anything from Spain? I am thinking it’s the fact she was riding your dick, was that it?” sitting next to Maurice “erm possibly but we did go shopping before, I think she forgot about you homie” Maurice is supposed to stick up for me, hitting his arm “you supposed to be on my side” I said to Maurice “knew it, it’s ok Robyn because when you try and come up in the club you ain’t getting VIP treatment” Leon is playing, he will spoil me still.

My back hurts already, I hate it. I groaned out stretching my back out “your back still hurting?” my mom said at the side of me, she started rubbing my back for me “yes, it comes back now and then” it’s so random too “Maurice’ hands may be better for you, I had back pains with you. Your dad gave me back massages, the feel of a man’ hands on my back was the best feeling ever” I busted out laughing “mom” looking at Maurice, he is just smiling “she needs to let me know, I will always look after her like that Mrs Willis” I just want his dick inside of me that is all, I can’t say that to her “I know you do, it was nice you went to Spain together. My daughter came back ever so happy” sitting back in the seat “he knows I was and oh yeah, you got a place to live yet?” he can’t be in Santa Monica that is far from me “yes, just finalising it. When it’s ready I will let you know, it will work out baby” he better get it all sorted for me “Mrs Willis, please come through” that is us.

I love the fact I have my mother and my man here supporting me “how have you both been?” Deja asked as I lifted my top over my stomach “I have been fine, I mean the baby is giving me the usual back pain. A lot of aches but that was to happen with the baby growing so I was waiting for it to happen, but all is well. It’s father is treating me well” looking over at Maurice “that is great to hear, mother needs a lot of attention and love, also ain’t it your birthday coming up?” Deja said to Maurice “erm yeah, it’s nothing though” Maurice shrugged it off “oh come on, you’re entering the thirty club now. Is your birthday not going to be a movie again” Maurice laughed out “nah, I think the party days are over. I have the best gifts I can ask for, to be a father and also have Robyn in my life. I will spend it lowkey this time” is Deja trying to say she has been to Maurice’ birthday party, this bitch told she met him once “well you know me Robyn I love a good party, I would go to his parties but I never met him. Only that one time I met him at someone else’s party. A friend of a friend but you should really do something, it’s thirty and also before your baby is here. One good party” this is my appointment, not tell Maurice what to do “see what happens but I am getting old now, but I get the gifts I want but you never know with the friends I got” clearing my throat “so yes, usually we have this at twelve weeks but you both was busy so we are doing this at thirteen weeks which is fine, let’s see what the baby is up too” thank you god, I thought she was just going to keep speaking to him.

My smile grew “oh my, my baby has grown so much. The difference from the tiny little dot” that is crazy, that is growing in my stomach “ so this is the abdomen, you can see around here” Deja pointed out, my baby’ abdomen. I feel choked up “and the heart beating” she zoomed in “that is his tiny heart beating” I am not going to cry but I feel it coming “See that, the knees and feet, it Looks a lot different from last time, let’s hear it’s heart beating” looking over at Maurice, holding onto his hand. He look so amazed, the heart beat of my baby echoed through the room. A tear left my eye “160 is the heart rate, which is perfect” I just want my baby to be fine “is it sleeping?” Maurice asked “yes could be, their sleep schedule is everywhere but it does look like it is. Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” Deja asked “you can find that out now?” I said in shock “well when I was checking, I did see but I need to check between the legs again just to make sure but I do know. Is this something you want to know now?” nodding my head “you want to know don’t you?” I said to Maurice “yes I do” holding onto Maurice’ hand even more tight “I think my baby is having a girl, just a though” here is my mom assuming things.

I am actually so nervous now “well here, you can see the face. Nose here and mouth, perfect baby” I smiled ever so wide, look at my baby “it is so perfect, I can’t wait to meet my baby already” that is mine, that is just amazing “so between the legs” squinting my eyes at the scan, I did do some basic things like this but not with babies and I wish I did more because I could maybe work it out. Wait, I think it’s a girl from here “congratulations, it’s clear as day that you both are having a girl” I was right “no way!?” Maurice said moving his hand away from mine “I knew it, oh my baby is having a baby girl” my mom hugged Maurice out of nowhere “congratulations, she is looking very health” a tiny sob left from my lips, looking back over at the screen “I am having a daughter” I said letting it sink in “I wanted it to be a girl too, oh my god” wiping my tears “I am so so happy for you” my mom said kissing my face, it’s really a girl. God has blessed me “a precious granddaughter” my mom is an emotional mess “how you feeling Maurice?” Deja asked him, moving my head a little to see him. He rubbed his head, Maurice’ face scrunched up and I thought he was going to cry but he gathered himself “I am having a daughter” he heaved out, he is wanting to cry “come here” waving Maurice over “I am so happy, I didn’t care but a girl. She is going to be mine” wrapping my arm around Maurice’ neck “I promise to do right by you both, a mini Bonita. It actually happened” I laughed “you’re going to be great with a daughter” I know he will be, I am so over the moon.

Running up the step to my apartment, I want sex and I want it now. I want to celebrate the fact we are having a daughter by having sex “come on Maurice” watching him walk up the steps ever so slowly, snatching the scan photo from him “if we don’t call that Bonita, it would be wasted. You know that?” Maurice smiled looking up at me “but that is a special name for you, I am very happy. Like you know my dad would be like a girl is not worthy, I don’t see it. She is going to get the world, a girl Robyn. Me, I can’t believe god believed in me to have a girl” god help me, he is not going to stop taking about it “I know baby, come” grabbing his hand walking to the door. I know Leon will be gone so we can have so much sex, unlocking the door and pushing it open “I have been dying to have sex with you” Maurice is being so slow, dropping my bag on the floor and let the scan photo fall onto the ground “come on” groping and massaging his member “you real that horny? Who is this monster?” Maurice smirked pulling me in closer to him, he kissed me lips. Our tongues battling for dominance in each others mouths, I let out a muffled moan because I have been waiting for this for so long.

#chrianna #chrianna ff #fanfic #fanfiction

[princeprince81]

Adventure#32: Deepavali Long Weekend

Recently Joey and team is working with an overseas client from India on a project. They decided to have dinner and drinks on last Friday night after work, since the client will be spending his Deepavali long weekend in Singapore.

"Baby, remember tonight I got dinner and drinks with the India boss, ya. Will text u the details once it is confirmed. You can join us also." Joey reminded me on the Friday morning while she is preparing for work.

"Ok, you let me know lo. Wow, Friday not dressed down meh?" I asked as I saw Joey put on her dark maroon bra, black v neck blouse with jacket over and a pair of lacy white thongs with her short white tight office skirt.

Ya lo, sian. Got presentation later. Ok late liao. Got to go." she replied as she rushed off for work.

At 5pm, she texted me. "Finally done meeting. Long day running around. So tired. Ok, tonight we go Wine Connection at Robertson Quay at 7pm, India boss wants to drink wine."

"Ok, I find you all there after work then. India boss not drink you meh. Haha." I replied her.

"Siao ah. See you later." She replied.

I was busy rushing to complete my work before the long weekend and when I am finally done, it was already 10pm. I quickly packed up and rushed down. By the time I drove down, parked and walked to the place, it was already 11pm. The place was packed and I noticed them seated outside at the high chairs area and it looked like they have already down 4 bottles of wine.

By then, only left Joey and the Indian client. The rest of her team has already left. I quickly approached them, did a quick introduction (The client name is Suresh, 50 plus, some Project Director in an MNC) and apologised for being late, before ordering another 2 more bottles of red wine. By then, Joey is already quite high.

I asked Joey why are we seated outside in such humid corner and uncomfortable high chair. She told me that cause they didn't manage to make reservations and that was the only table left.

"Aiya. You just reached only and complain liao ah. We sitting here for past 4 hours already and I so hot and sweating for so long liao." Joey complained, with Suresh nodding his head.

"Who asked you wear until so formal on a Friday night. Still jacket some more. Now no need jacket already what." I told her.

Now that I reached and Joey is more comfortable. She stood up to remove her jacket and showing her cup D cleavage and some glimpse of her dark maroon bra to Suresh. Then she turned over, bent over with her butt facing Suresh to keep her jacket into her handbag, which is on the floor. Immediately, I can see his eyes lit up, upon seeing the cleavage and her big ass with faint lacy prints from her white tight skirt.

The rest of the night went on as per normal, conversations and teasing as we finished up the wine, before heading off at 1 am.

By the time we were home, Joey was already high and tipsy. She was walking ahead of me to our unit, staggering her way and struggling to balance in her red heels. Her sexy big ass was swaying and she is trying to walk straight back to our house. What a sight.

Once inside, she removed her heels, head straight into our room and dived face down onto the bed. "So tired. What a long hot day. I rest a while first." Joey said.

By then I am also high and horny. Her sexy ass in bed is not helping the situation. I went over and caress her butt. "I love your hot ass, Joey. Your India boss confirmed love them too." I teased her.

"Don't disturb la. I am tired. What boss. Hmm." Joey replied.

I continued to play with her ass, pushing her short skirt even higher, revealing her pair of stained white lacy thongs. I lifted her butt a bit higher, (Semi doggy style) and ran my fingers up and down her ass and pussy. "What a sexy piece of thongs you have her. Can you give it to boss?" I continued to tease Joey and role played myself as Suresh.

"Hmm, No la. Hmmmm it's dirty... Had a long day and night. Sweating. Hmmm boss.." Joey replied with her eyes closed.

Without much invitation, I dived my face right into her ass and pussy, and taking a deep sniff. The smell was heavenly. The musky pussy smell, mixed with her urine, sweat and juices after a long day and the hot night of drinking.

"No... Ahhh... Boss.... Not there.. Ahhh.. I haven't bathe.. Ahh.. Noo.. Ahhhh... Dirty.. Ahhh." Joey started moaning when I pulled her thongs aside and started licking her pussy.

"Oh Joey. You hot teaser. I have been looking at your deep slutty cleavage and ass the whole night. Look what you have done to my black cock." I continued licking her as I removed my clothes.

"Now that I have licked your smelly pussy, it's time you take my dirty dick." I walked over and pushed her head to my cock. "Suck for boss now. You like it? You like my smelly dick don't you." Joey let out some soft moanings as she sucked with her eyes closed.

"Argh. You are so good. Boss can't take it any more." I stopped her from sucking, went behind her and fucked her wet pussy without warning. "Argh. You wet dirty pussy. How does it feel for boss to fuck you?

"Ahhhh. Noo... Boss.. Ah Argh... Suresh.. No... Don't.... Ahh.. I married... Ahh... Hubby.... Ahh on the way.. Ahh.. Not.. Quick.. Ahh.." Joey moaned and enjoying her role play.

I continued to fuck her hard for the next few minutes before cumming on her butt. After cumming, she dozed off on the bed in this position until 3 plus am, before waking up to wash up and join me in bed.

What a tiring night indeed...

[basshouse]

Workin’ It

Today is my last day of work at SLI Systems.  I’ll miss the location and I’ll definitely miss spending my days with people like these:

No, we don’t usually wear this much makeup at work. It was a holiday party -- in the summer!  I’ll drink to that.  Well, apparently I drank to that and quickly went looking for a refill: 

Seriously, one of the questions I have been asked most frequently is: How’s work?? 

The answer has changed pretty materially many times, and in what seems like a very short amount of time to have this many different answers.  It goes like this: 

May/June: Great!  Super chill.  Nice people. Just getting started. Cool to learn about new industry. Fun to work in the CBD and be able to explore it. The office is full of people from a wide variety of places around the world. 

Late June: Wait, what?  This assignment sucks.  I can’t believe I have to do this. 

July -- August: Busy!  Interesting. I have some important work to do here.  It’s a lot of change management but I’m up to the task.  Thank you Diana Kumar for giving me the playbook on release management, and thank you Tableau for making me do so many things I had no idea how to do.  I’m using my very broad skillset.  My work life balance is great and I’m learning.  

August: Tas is here!  My new office mate has potential to become my NZ BFF and my life changes forever :-)

Early October: Success! We have reached a significant milestone and I helped make it happen.  We have a carnival to celebrate. Also, I start working on a really interesting new project, to define and launch an Image Search product. 

Late October: Record scratch in the form of this announcement: 

October to December: Visa research.  Job interviews.  Mood swings between “stay focused on doing good work” and “where are we drinking for lunch today?”   Holiday party fun despite (or because of?) the fact that we’re probably all getting canned.  The getting canned thing stretches on and on. 

December 19th:  I sign up my first beta customers for Image Search, exciting!  The takeover deal is done.  We all listen to the new American CEO tell us our roles will be terminated in the near future, but I don’t have enough official documentation or information about being fired to take a different job because of the visa I have. My visa request is denied.  No details about my expected severance pay.  #immigrationpaperworkisforthebirds #nowweare defiitelydrinkingatlunch

January: The new CEO visits and spends at least 30 minutes telling us how Amazon works, how many packages his wife ordered last year, and how smart he is, but never actually tells us what we need to do or whether we’ll have jobs in the future or when we will lose the ones we have. I talk as little as possible so people will forget I’m American.  People are annoyed, people are sad, people are angry, a few are hopeful and understanding.   Either way we’re all still supporting each other and socializing.  I get to know people better than I did before because most of our days are spent making tea/drinking coffee and catching up.  Friday happy hour starts around 3 instead of 4:30 now. The amount of work happening is verrrry close to zero,but who can blame us?   We have no direction. My visa paperwork finally goes through and I resign to take a new job.  No severance despite the fact that NZ law and my contract state I get one if I’m let go.  Booooo.  But it’s time to move on. 

Now let’s jump up a level, to the summary:  work has been great and work has been awful.  That’s pretty much the way it goes, eh?  SLI has been a nice place to work and the people I have met are fantastic.   I was glad to be there. I got to do some cool stuff.  I had to spend more time than is comfortable doing very little, but hey, I started a blog!  I didn’t expect to look for a job so soon after arriving in CHCH and having to do it kind of sucked, but the silver lining is that I know more about the job market and my network is growing. And I think I have found a really interesting opportunity (more info in future blogs I hope). 

When the announcement happened and the visa stuff was dicey, Jason and I had a hard think about whether we should just move back to Seattle.  Was it worth?  Did we like it?  Is the job market good enough to get us through and keep us busy?  What about the kids?  Should we just move to Bali for a year and head back to Seattle?  Side note, we did NOT discuss this with the kids or even tell them about the job stuff because we thought they’d get fixated on the possibility of moving back or scared about more changes coming their way after they just got settled. The good news is that in the end we were both very clear that we wanted to try to stay here.  It was a good opportunity to reflect on the details of our experience and align on what we wanted to do with our lives and how we felt about the move.  It’s good to know we could go “home,” and really nice to feel like we made a good decision in coming here. 

There’s nothing like drama to make you reflect on what you feel and what you want (silver lining). I was re-reminded of a few other universal truths that I can now say I’ve witnessed as true in a different part of the universe: when people don't have information, they fill in gaps, and what they make up is usually more negative than not; most people are kind and amazing, and it’s important to let yourself be supported; inauthentic, egotistical, selfish people are just dicks; drivers who honk a lot are silly, no matter what side of the car they sit on; almost nothing in the world is as annoying as an underpowered hand dryer, unless it’s an underpowered hand dryer that’s hanging high enough on the wall that the water drips down your sleeves when you dry your hands. 

And here’s my first Kiwi flag, signed by my co-workers (Tas is responsible for the huge “BUGGER OFF” in the top left), a going away gift from SLI: 

They asked if I wanted an American flag or a Kiwi one.  I think they were serious.  What do you think?  Hard to tell with the accent. 

Here’s something I’d like you to know (if you know me well, this may be hard to comprehend so get ready):  Since I moved to NZ, even when I was busy at work, I have NEVER worked at night or on the weekend.  Almost never on vacation (maybe an hour or two). I spend less time with my laptop closed than open.  I bike to work.  I have time to surf.  I sleep enough. I exercise.  I took Anily to the mall to buy a scrunchy in the middle of the work day and didn’t feel stressed about it.  And it feels really good.  When I tell old friends stuff like this, they often say things like “well you deserve it after how hard you worked and what it took to move. It’s ok to take some down time.”  Which I appreciate because it is supportive and kind and true. But listen: we should not feel like we have to excuse or explain away a life that does not include cognitive overload and work related stress and constant busy-ness.  I know it’s become a hallmark of many “high performing” people, including me, and we easily feel guilty or try to justify the moment that we are not overworking or over reaching.  If we’re getting what we need to get done done, can we stop feeling bad for not doing more?  We deserve better than that. 

(I don’t think I am saying that just because I am not sure I know how to work hard anymore but I can confirm after next week when I start my new job).  

Also, I have a much greater level of sympathy for immigrants than ever before. Even though as far as immigration issues go, mine are probably minor because I am educated, employable, speak the language and am not fleeing a dangerous situation or being persecuted.  It’s still really scary to not have control  over your own fate and wait on paperwork and try to manage what feels like a house of cards. You can feel a little sorry for me (thanks!), but please feel more sorry for many others who are trying to mAke their way to a better life. 

As for Jason?  He’s still working for Stoup and killing it.  From anywhere and everywhere and all the time (nice office, huh?):