#also when did i get so bad at updating?

[ilonacho]

highlights from today nwn

#patty peace sign like a true queer she just like me fr #been rlyyy missing simpsons lately….. maybe ill post some art if i ever get around to drawing some lol #they updated the poster!! ​5 outta 8 f/os yayyy #the clips they played were so fucking funny I MISS SIMPSONS id never seen that grandpa clip #but it was so damn funny #ALSOOO WHEN WE ENTERED THE SEUSS STORE LIKE 5 MINS BEFORE HOW BAD CAN I BE #yall the volume was louder during the song im certain they turned it up for us #cuz we sat down to film the whole thing and the employee tried to duck outta the way fbsbfkdk bless them #very fun day i love spending time w/ my wife #i also did NOT buy the $30+ plushie i saw and was yearning for #and i feel ok. i wanna get the chonky lil lorax tho maybe

[transautisticmikewheeler]

ok i have to be honest: the day i realized the "mike was taken by the russians in s3 and given powers" fic got deleted was one of the worst days of my life and the fact that the writer's tumblr is gone too makes me feel not good also

#no. 1 feelings expert award when #but seriously #that fic was revolutionary to me i was a colossal idiot for forgetting to read the updates the idea had-has me in a chokehold tbh #stranger things #mike wheeler #stranger things au #I HAVE FORGET DISORDERS I WANT TO REMEMBER THIS FIC SO BAD BUT I CAN'T #like i was eh when i read the summary first time but my GOD did it fucking grow on me it is literally one of my top 3 ideas now #like vecna possessing mike. richie and mike are the same person. mike gets taken by the russians. TOP THREE #forgive me for not remembering more details did i mention i have forget disorders #ALSO DOLICON THE TURNS OUT TO BE SOFT GENERAL GUY. ROTATING HIM. MORALLY GRAY PORTRAYED AS OKAY MEOW MEOW THAT I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT #AND THE SCENE WHERE MIKE spoilers LEARNS HE WAS INJECTED WITH DEMOGORGAN BLOOD????? FUCKING HELL I LOVED THAT SHIT #anyways i really really really really really want this fic back can you tell #🔗

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

this is a very venty post don't mind me :D

that nintendo direct was so horrible.

it was literally like 80 percent remakes and remasters.

never in my life have i seen an announcement video exist just to say "every game you've ever known since the 90s is being remade/remastered, sorry, we ran out of originality".

literally like all the video game market is anymore is remakes and the movie industry is just as bad.

the nso releases are fine because they're not like, remakes taking up full game slots. they're old games that are being made accessible and that's great... but there's no need to remake this many games when they can do that. remakes used to be rare. remember stuff like the wii u shop and stuff? with all the games they had on those things? now it's a tiny selection and everything else is a remake :/

also I feel like a lot of new rpgs are just like... lowkey fe knockoffs now instead of original rpgs.

i'm happy for like... two existing remakes, but one of them is mario rpg which people wanted waaaaAAAAAYYYY before the remake and remaster era, and the other is baten kaitos which im not actually happy about remaster-wise (the updated ui is trash, they took out very specific charms of the original ui), just happy that it will get more recognition/notice from people since it was never popular.

they also completely removed the english voice acting which like okay yeah it wasn't always that great but the voices fit perfectly and it wasn't as bad as fans meme on it for! it just sounded like they were talking through a tube and that was actually the worst part of it lol.

someone suggested to me that they may have just lost the data for it, but idk. i wish they'd just admit that somehow if it was the case, because it bugs me that the english audio is just completely gone when ultimately i really liked it. i wanted the game to be accessible to newer players, sure, but i also wanted the english audio there. ig that's because i grew up with it and i liked it, but it's still such a bummer for me!

paper mario being put on the nso and tyd getting a whole remaster does make me sad tho bc it feels like they're leaving the original in the dust when it was so good. if you're gonna do tyd, at least do them both.

good for innersloth though, i'm sure they never imagined being on a nintendo direct. they're the real winners here.

#DCB Comments #the FE fandom is just as bad too. every single solitary direct that comes up they're like #OMG FE4 REMAKE. like ??? I used to be just annoyed but #now I'm just feeling the “shut the actual fuck up” mood bc it's ALL they care about for FE anymore #nobody wants new FE games. they're just obsessed with the idea of remakes #it's more annoying bc it's all the majority of the FE fandom talks abt anymore #also does anyone even know if games on the NSO ever get a remake or if originals of remakes go onto NSO? #wondering bc I don't think I've seen a game on NSO get a remake or vice versa #like I was always wondering if Mario RPG would be on the NSO but it never was and now it has a remake coming #since FE4 6 and 7 are on the NSO I can't see why they would be if remakes were coming #also if they're in the process of making a new console do y'all still think they'll release Gamecube on the NSO? #idk if they'd release PoR on it since they'd prob remaster that one (I don't want a remake for it but remaster might be nice if they #update the map graphics and stuff) since it would net them way more money to release the game as a standalone but if they #did put it on NSO I'd really love that. I get up I play PoR. I lay down I PoR. I go in the car I play PoR (I don't drive lol) #but anyway yeah I'm just tired of every single Direct having FE fans being annoying as fuck #also ppl were apparently legit like omg the new banner coming means fe4 remake will be on the direct #oh my goooooddddd stfu at this point I just don't want it remade bc i am 💅 p e t t y 💅 bc ppl are so annoying abt this #when a leak for a new game came out (engage) from a very reputable source ppl knocked it and called it ''obviously fake'' #(the joke is now not just ON them but IS them) but then when they got a ''leak'' abt an fe4 remake they ate it up #like wow lol. wow. they won't believe anything unless you say fe4 remake then suddenly they believe anything you say abt that alone #it's rly sad that my favorite game has become a cesspool of annoying fe fans #the thing is fe doesn't come out with a whole lot of remakes. it never has #it's just that when gaiden got a remake ppl have NOT shut the fuck up ever since #and I've seen ppl saying every game under the sun should be remade #frankly if they remake anything right now it should be poor fucking shadow dragon (yes. the remake.) #anyway most of y'all know how annoyed i get abt this lol like yeah maybe someday fe4 could get remade but #it's the fact that the modern day fans are SO fucking annoying about it now. back ten or so years ago fe4 fans were just happy TO play it #we were just happy to have it at all even in emulated form and it being an snes game #we loved it as it was and didn't bitch about it bc it wasn't uwu modern enough (and i've played casual mode since new mystery) #now ppl are just like oh i like it but i don't want to play it unless it's remade

[mbat]

wish i could walk up to whoever decided to do this discord update, even if its a group, and tell them "congrats! you fucked up."

#i keep finding new things that suck and are broken #this is. the worst!!!!!!!! #its not intuitive. it doesnt match the computer. half the features dont even work anymore. it literally keeps crashing and breaking #i just spammed a server on accident because it didnt look like my message was sending until i closed and reopened the app #i mustve pressed the send button like 60 times trying to get it to send. #im going to complain about this forever it sucks so bad PUT IT BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP MEEEEE #discord #i hate the swipe to reply thing i hate how the new search works i hate how everything is organized i hate that the dms arent on top anymore #i hate all of it its so shit #i think its the worst especially because they changed so much all at once and thats probably also why its SO BROKEN. #if they did all of these changes one at a time i promise they wouldve been changed back so quick because everyone wouldve hated them #just like we hate them now! but since its this huge update that they forced on us. theyre not going to fix it! #i need to slap whoever did this. why do they hate their users #also THEY LITERALLY DID DO THAT SWIPE TO REPLY THING BEFORE A FEW MONTHS BACK FOR A FEW DAYS/WEEKS. #WE HATED IT THEN AND WE ESPECIALLY HATE IT NOW #bring back the members thing when you swipe right its literally so natural feeling and better

[arolesbianism]

So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing

#rat rambles #oni posting #for now I must sleep but hopefully tomorrow Ill figure out how to decompile files #the real question is going to be if Ill be able to do this on my shitty ass laptop or if Ill need to figure smth else out #I just want to be able to view stuff so ideally it won't make my laptop chug too bad but rly Im more worried abt space #I might have to try to do some cleanup and delete some shit maybe Ill go scan through the shit that came pre installed #and hey maybe if I can get this to work I can go mega hacker mode and tweak some stuff for funsies #probably wont since I don't wanna break my game and I dont trust myself but yknow #itd probably help if I actually retained any information from the Two programing classes I took when I was younger but alas #one of them was even specifically a video game programming class and lemme tell you I remember absolutely nothing #also from what little I was able to view without fancy applications I have no new info but I can finally fully put jean in the we 100% know #their last name zone cause while we definitely already 100% did Technically we only got jea- for first name confirmation #but theyre referred to as jean in a note in a bio bot story traits file ty whoever added the notes there #god I hope theres other notes in the files I want to read those so bad #btw this was all spurred by that one nails log that disappeared cause I have found a file that looks like it but I cant fully view it #and I desperately need to view it I need to view it #also if I can look in the code then in theory itll make copying down all the lore logs easier #also the datamining thread of the forums hasnt been particularly active so who knows maybe I can become a proper dataminer #(<- will not do that probably unless it turns out to be easier than I thought) #but admittedly I am interested in hunting for potential future update content even if I probably won't hunt too hard for it #again Im mostly just hunting for lore #hey maybe if Im lucky Ill find some genuinely new and usable information in that department #maybe the secrets of b363 and dr. holland lie in the files ooooo (they probably dont) #man it'd be nice if I had a proper pc itd make my life so much easier and my desk feel less enpty lol #in a world where I get to play videogames at a higher framerate than 10fps #I mean we do have some older computers laying around the house although theyre probably also crusty pieces of shit #idk maybe I can see if I can salvage one itd be nice to have a proper computer to fuck about with #Im sure my mom wouldn't mind as long as its one that hasnt been touched in years #which tbf I dont know how many options thatd leave me but we at least have one computer that could theoretically be usable #albiet its definitely packed with viruses from me and my siblings being dumb kids

[fourteenthz]

Sooooooo there's this final fantasy *twirls hair*

#this is my oficial xii update post everybody hear me OUT RN (i have 5 minutes to leave LOL) #so I'm going to balthier's airship rn but thoughts so far: #i don't really remember down bad basch like i dont think i did remember like half of 12 lore at this point besides balfran #but then he was like in a cage and i was like ??? SENTECED TO DEATH??? it all makes sense now. #also oh my GOD balthier is just better than I remember. kid!me remember liking him bc he was awn cool but NOW #he does get more and more attractive every time he opens his mouth I'm down bad u guys. its meeting kain again all over again #its SO FUNNY he start to explain this and im like. twirling my hair and kicking my feet. i looove when he mansplains to me. #being a bit unhinged on this txt post lol sorry #also fran FRAN BABIEST OF GIRLS.... MAN I ADORE HER. #i love her quiet gentle persona so much she is . so. thesa coded. i adore her. #and iNDEED balfran makes me insane like nothing will ever make me more unwell than quiet character x flirt #confident character U KNOW... And they are like.... partners... man 🗣 #the dynamic of the characters is actually so nice I reeeally like the dialogue so much and the texture on the voice acting #i was a bit scared of finding vaan annoying but... THAT MY CHILD. Hes literally just a little guy. #i love how he acts like ppl give xii so much shit. im still really early but like so far he's so much his own person. i really like it. #he doesn't lean on others and he's always taking care of his own problems and stuff he deem his own responsibilities. #its very fitting for who he is and how he grew up like he's responsible but naive ish ??? like he IS a kid but also he learnt not to be #it's so refreshing. i love my son no one touch him nor penelo ever they are my BABIES. #i still like balfran more than like anyone but WHO could've guessed right? bc they aren't exactly my type of character dynamic or whatever #i need to gif.... anyway. kicking my feef everybldy balthier talks (all the time) he makes me sick (affectionat #my pick up is late so im like daydreaming here and writing these tags. twirling my hair literally. i loooove politcal intrigued so much. #ALSO there is something abt vayne.... i thought he was so much older... the persona he's trying to pull + his voice gives me so much of hien #vibes I'm like nooo..... don't be a good villain haha.... #fy square why u always do this #kelly says #dl #kelly plays xii

[non-un-topo]

Have to thank my partner for realizing before I did that talking about kids with people makes me extremely dysphoric --- whereas I thought I just had a problem and hated children or something lol

#you can't really start a sentence with 'i don't hate children--' though. #do i... like them..? ehh they're fine on their own. i just don't like to be around them for very long. they freak me out. #but mostly it's parents who freak me out. or people who aren't parents yet but kids are all they talk about #(cough) my sister-in-law. #it's not ALL she talks about but she does happen to bring children up an awful lot around me. and uhh i have bad news for her. #anyway i feel like the worst person on earth but my gut reaction when i hear people talking about kids is to just get pissed off #or roll my eyes or want to leave the conversation STAT. like my flight instinct takes over. #so it was my partner who figured out that these conversations activate my dysphoria like a nuclear bomb. #dysphoria has manifested in the form of irritation for me this year. same with depression. i just feel angry and annoyed all the time #plus a bit of despair. and it gets more intense with every passing month. #my sister has decided to work in childcare and is doing a placement. she also updates me on every single thing she does in a day - #- down to how many times she shits. i wish i was kidding. #so i get a constant feed of what these random children did in a day (yesterday a girl showed my sister her poop lol) #and it would be funny and fine if it didn't make me want to jump out of my gd skin. #happens all the time at school too. #'whaaaaaaaat you don't want BAABIIEEES?? but you'd make such a good mom!!!' #ahaha No i would not thank you. jesus christ please no thank you. please. #i'm a father figure to a few of my friends and it's the best feeling in the world. that's all i need. #conversations like that always trap me. i feel like a fucking rabbit. stuck with all the aunties in the kitchen. #so i have to be a dick and not offer to clear the plates because none of the men are clearing the plates. #just........ Gender. UGH!!

[perenlop]

well i finished renegade. i sure was renegading all over the place

#it was alriiiight.... but man i hate to say it but i think i have more complaints than praises #i DID like florins new execution route and i liked talons deal. the entire end of night spell deal was horrifying and i loved it #i love that genre of horror like ''you die twice when you get forgotten after death'' #so seeing it play out here was horrifying in a good way. talon and amber's deaths were both so fucking good like goddamn #they were just as heartbreaking as they needed to be. especially ambers like when you go talk to tesla after #but. man i dont think meta games are for me cause ngl i was sorta just like ''aight.'' to most of the meta here #like that was the one thing about talon i didnt care for. i thought ''everyone i know and love is going to die and god is screaming at me'' #was a fine enough motivation to go crazy and become a rift. i thought it was compelling and tragic and a good thing to do #with a new character. but then he started going ''in older versions of the game i wasnt even there i was just a prop for the backstory'' #and thats sorta when i started tuning out. like i cant explain why but i feel it made the scene more... cheap? #i think just cause personally ive seen that motivation a lot in meta games before and its gotten old to me #tbh the entire meta angle is whats really dragging this down to me. dont get me wrong i love eizen and his scenes #but i dont see why we have to canonize the game's update cycles as like a critical part of the world #and then theres m2 who i have mixed feelings on. cause i love the character type of ''ive been through so much shit idc anymore'' #and they end up being kinda goofy and saying inappropriate/out of pocket things while trying not to discuss The Horrors #ive written more than one of those types of characters. but with m2 its like she doesnt know how to turn that off #like spacea and tiempa's deaths being a tera raid parody where they joke about being in a crashing plane and get bashed by extra melias #it just felt like. unfitting. (also a nitpick but goddamn that scene made my head hurt with how much the screen wobbled) #like really? this is the sendoff they get in the fucked up and evil route? and idk i just dont think m2 was all that funny. #she was more grating than anything tbh. and i just feel like her existence and the bad timeline is just Too Much #like there were already so many plotlines and arcs and do we Really need a new-ish character right before the climax #idk. im hoping v14 is more cohesive in this department #for now im taking a much needed break from this game lol

[indigodawns]

.

#had an okay writing day for my thesis yesterday and it was a rly nice day overall and then idk. rsd hit i guess and #i went to sleep way too late so ofc today i've been feeling foggy and i haven't written a word and it's 6pm like.............. #makes me feel like i wasted the work i did yesterday and i should've gone to my grandpa's bday celebrations yday #even though that didn't feel viable. he sure made me feel like shit for missing it too! #it just feels like see i could've gone and done yday's work today or some shit which ?? but sure #i just know myself and im p unbearable to be around rn/when im stressed/on a deadline so yk. + travel time + adjusting plus socialising... #also had a long talk w/ my friends yday and it was nice and it was all about how you experience consciousness but also idk. #also i keep being so sharp and kinda mean to one of my friends and it's sooooooooo she says it's fine and it's not that bad but ughhhhhhh #im sure the core of this spiral is i just rly don't like myself and i think im right not to so like. what now #and none of this even matters like. get it toGETHER #also adhd meds aren't magically fixing my life so that's another scam (but ok they DO help at least i can actually write and think then) #anyways. #i think it's. feeling this & hating myself and my friend talking about how they're past that and life is still hard for them #and it's not about me but it does make me feel stupid like true all my problems are self-made not even circumstancial like. #also feel like i keep saying the wrong thing to people and i keep messing up my words lately and boooooooo idk #anyways im ok i just don't wanna moan abt this to anyone specifically but clearly im stuck so yk? #should i share more nice moments here too??? i just always feel like whatever emotion im feeling disappears when i share it so??? #maybe bc i overthink it then or whatever #but i can!! maybe i should #for yday: had a rly rly fun convo with a friend who gave me the wildest updates ever + spent time with 2 of my best friends #+ smelled the flowers and that v v specific spring to summer air and felt the sun on my face #FINE maybe therapists have a point

[olessan]

I am stressed :(

#IF YOU READ THESE TAGS DON'T SEND ME KOFI THINGS OR ANYTHING I JUST NEED TO VENT BEFORE I EXPLODE #(I do have stickers and stuff on redbubble tho) #my PC's bsods/crashes are worse (1 every week or so and sometimes 2 a day I've had 2 in the past 3 hours) #and I'm pretty sure the root issue is the RAM is bad #which means it has been this whole time because I no longer turn my PC off at the end of the day like I did before ~mid 2022 #and I don't have $300 to buy new RAM #and idk if I can get a replacement 3 years after purchase #and even if I do I will have to open it up and pull the RAM out and have no PC for probably a few weeks #and having just my phone will absolutely fuck with me like it did when I first moved in this house #and I need 2 usb sticks to properly diagnose and possibly need to repair some corrupt windows files #which I haven't done before #And meanwhile my fucked up premolar is falling out of my jawbone and is loose and I keep bumping it and it doesn't hurt as much as it shoul #and I am near to an abscess at any given time because of it and I need to get more shots because I don't want to go #without updated vaccinations but also having a tooth removed and one or two more cavities filled is very expensive #and I don't have any income so I have $4.80 to my name #and I need to work from home because of anxiety and I can't do that while my PC is having issues #I got a bsod earlier and got in Minecraft to play a little and got a second BSOD after just 2 hours #they're RAM related (memory_management and faulty_hardware_corrupted_page #but I am worried about the side effects of this many #I can't find any suitable work anyway and I need a new photo ID and those are $50 and my weekly income from studies/surveys/etc is about #about that and I am already living on about $30 of food a week (frozen pizzas and party pies and stuff + liquid breakfasts so I get some #minerals and vitamins) and I would rather scrape by then sign up for social security because of the horrible draconian shit they put people #though just to keep a payment that is 1/4th minimum wage and not liveable in the slightest #(THE PIZZAS GIVE ME FAT PROTEIN CARBS FIBRE AND A LOT OF KJ they are efficient) #(I would love to cook) #(I budgeted out meal prepping and it came out to costing twice as much for the same food if I bought the cheapest ingredients) #( and also same amount of food I eat once a day (1/2 pizza or equiv ~300g/3000kj/700cal) and use chocolate to carry me through the middle) #(the chocolate also keeps me focused and my mood up) #every single BSOD massively spikes my anxiety and it locks me up and I just fret for a while and I am cautious about drawing because it #can happen at any time and I don't want to lose things I've worked hard on

[redysetdare]

I love how we complained about the set up of the Disney Collab only for devsis to ignore us and set up everything basically the exact same /s

#cookie run kingdom #cookie run #LIKE WE ALL EXPRESSED HOW BAD THE DISNEY GATCHA WAS AND THEY JUST DID IT AGAIN??? #im sorry this update just isnt doing it for me #some of the items r cute but also once again we CANT SELL ITEMS WE DONT WANT #so im stuck with wanting to get items but also getting stuck with likely a banillion others i dont want #i also dont want the bts cookies i already turned off all the disney cause they clog my kingdom up #😩 #this is going to be a long 98 days #when can we get back to the story pls im begging

[lilgynt]

shit my partner has done in the last 48 hours: one. make fun of my dad who just got out of the hospital bc he beat me as kid allegedly two. slapped my ass in front my old coworkers bc she genuinely hates their guts

#personal #i would list things audrey has done but honestly she’s just #i was gonna say bat shit but she is. goes for a walk comes back with a tattoo she’s not even rlly feeling #no but dad situation #he’s okay he’s just going blind but he had to go to emergency care yesterday and was gone all day with my mom #who was texting me updates which i would update my brothers with #and then they came home and i would randomly watch him sleep after he went to bed #on one hand i didn’t feel much about the situation than the other hand i kept sneaking by his room like a criminal till he closed the door #and i couldn’t get out of bed again #anyway so it was a bit intense yesterday while we were waiting for mom to pick him up and the cat scan stuff #gg voice: good i hope it fucking hurts #and like on one hand hey now. cmon. #on the other ive gotten extremely used to non familial loved ones hating my family genuinely and i don’t know? the way she never lets up #with any of them and hates them so intensely bc she loves me always gets me weak kneed #like i understand when my family dies audrey and her will be comforting and nice but like #they are still gonna celebrate and i know this mob #anyway so that and then i was getting soemthing laminated #but it broke my paper win tho my old coworker felt so bad and did enjoy my little joke about not signing the waiver #that he just gave me the amount for the poster and also bc of his new supervisor manager whatever the fuck postion let him #and that’s why i’m still in love with him he’s the BEST. but anyway he gave me that #gave me shit about my friends who are still holding me captive #gave me further shit when i showed off the ring gg made and said it was matching theirs #something something anyway as we’re leaving gg SMACKS my ass #pretty common place behavior but here’s the thing #fun fact: so not fun but also fun but there no nice way to put it i have a moaning problem #like it’s just been an ongoing problem since at least middle school. but like pain? moans. barely there touch? yup. hard smack? xxx #just everything so i yelp and it’s loud and moany and my ex coworker makes eye contact and shakes his head and laughs and im like OKAYYYY #BYE EVERYONE OUT

[thewickerking]

OK SO. EPIC WIN! SOUND HAS CEASED!! its on and off and idk if ill hear it again tonight (please i hope not) but it is GONE i am COMFY in BED. my phone DIED but thats ok shes at 3$ now and plugged in so shes going up :)

#updates on my last posts tags: i dont like actually see spiders i just see movement out of the corner of my eye that isnt there and then my #brain always categorizes it as spiders and its nearly never spiders but it makes me rlly on edge and scared 4 no reason #itll just like be a little black blur out of focus (when theres genuinely nothing there other than like. my white sink or bathtub) and my #brain is like 'ah oh no spider' and my pulse quickens and i get scared and think its gonna kill me cause im sooo normal btw #i joke abt being scared of spiders n stuff but theres genuinely terrifying to me and have given me super bad panic attacls : #anyways. #erm abt the last thing abt Bad Sounds ik its probably a symptom of something but i havent heard of anything that sounds right except maybe #overstimulation but very rarely feel overstimulated im usually very understimulated and its not that theres too many sounds its just theres #one really bad one that sets me off like weird random things like snoring and certain dripping faucets and breathing and like. certain ways #people brush their hands together when they have something on them but they do it for too long and the sound is horrible but subtle #and also certain times people are tapping against fabric like. stuff that ppl overlook and u can barely hear but it drives me off the walls #like idk what common thread they have other than NORMAL EXISTING HUMAN SOUNDS but like. idk if pain is the right word to describe it but #its genuinely something physically pain adjacent like. tension. like when u pull a rubber band super far apart and it cant fucking #stay like that like cmon it hurts it needs to snap please let it out. but letting it out is like. erm. not good and if the sound doesnt end #after u let it out like it didnt do anything it just goes back. ough idk idk idk. i used to not tell anyone this stuff cause i mostly did l #it at night and i think ppl will say im exaggerating and faking cause they dont witness it and my mother doesnt do it i think so its not an #acceptable form of mental illness /s but like genuinely i dont feel like im allowed to mention it but whatever!!! #anyways this is rlly long if u read it. hi. i love u. i hope u have a good day/ #night also hmu if u know what whatever this is called i wanna talk about it in therapy and i think my words dont feel professional enough #ik u shouldnt have to act professional in therapy bur erm. i feel like i need to in some ways its complicated #.ares

[euphor1a]

>:((( want ):( koodles ))):<

#missing him extra extra hard </3 #i want to cuddle him but i also want to just *nom nom* #i’m in actual pain my heart hurts so much i miss him beyond words can explain i just 😭😭 it hurts 😭😭 #googie 🐰 #ever since i saw weverse’s new layout and all i’ve been thinking about him non-stop #nnnnnnnnnnn i also miss bam SO MUCH HOW IS HE DOING #bunbun give us bam updates 😤‼️ #i know we got a lot of content during hobi’s party but i still miss him :( #can you tell that i have a mental illn*ss #( it’s called love ) #😔😔😔 #i’m literally whining at this point when did it get so bad #:(( #the world is so unfair #😭😭😭

[dredshirtroberts]

listen. I know my family is bad at communication and acknowledgement of receipt of Thing but when the one thing that consistently happens semi-annually is that I get fussed at for not confirming I received something, it irks me a smidge.

Like if I'm expected to always confirm "Hey I got your [communication/gift]" then why aren't they doing it back? Especially considering the communication in this instance has really actually very important information they will want to know if they want to stay in contact with me.

Like????

Even if I'd just gotten a "K" in response, like. at least it would have let me know they got the damn thing. I sent this email TWO WEEKS AGO and only one person responded - and it was practically immediate too. Like... i know folks are busy, i know shit's going on. I get it. But it would help me feel so much less like I'm suddenly a pariah in the family out of nowhere if like one of the people I'd sent this to had just responded in some way shape or form.

I'd have answered a phone call - i wouldn't have liked it, but i'd have done it. A letter in the mail to my current address even. a message in a bottle probably wouldn't get to me because i'm pretty far from the beaches of the great lakes, and also they're even farther, but like. something right?

my sister at least confirmed she got it and just forgot to respond. i imagine that's what happened with everyone else because we have the same mental illnesses and look. i do it too. but also? also?? i was hounded to respond quickly to things, i was told off every time i wasn't responding within a half hour of any communication. I was asked instantly the next time they saw me if I'd gotten it, even if i hadn't had a chance to see the thing yet.

So forgive me, family, if I'm a little peeved off that all y'all are allowed to "forget to respond" for two whole fucking weeks and then a few extra days (because it's been 2 weeks, 3 days exactly) when i can't let something sit in the mailbox for 2 days because i couldn't get to my mailbox easily while living on my own without getting a phone call or text or email that there should be something waiting in there for me.

*enraged screeching*

#literally the deadline i gave them for my address change was Monday #technically they have until the 8th but i didn't give them that room because i feared they'd use it #and my birthday is this upcoming week and like. idk i was kind of looking forward to maybe getting a card or two perhaps that's silly of me #to look forward to receiving specifically birthday correspondence for my birthday idk man #like i don't have a lot of space to judge i'm also really bad at keeping up lines of communication but when someone sends you #an update with a deadline about when they're moving and to where exactly #and also a big update on a health issue that like. they've mentioned MULTIPLE times #it's generally considered courteous to at least SAY YOU RECEIVED THE MESSAGE even if you didn't have a chance to read the whole thing yet #like???????? #angry i am so angry #like yay my sister responded to the text IT TOOK 2 WEEKS AND ME POKING HER ABOUT IT #again i know. i know people are busy and have other things going on #why did *I* have to be the one who came up with work arounds and ways to avoid doing this to other people when no one else does it for me? #why was *I* the one always getting fussed at and told off and lectured about how rude i was for not getting back to people in a timelymanne #but it's fine for them to IGNORE ME FOR 2 FUCKING WEEKS #like fuck *off* with that bullshit i'm so fucking......... #i mean it. about the others. if my grandparents i sent this to and my other aunt don't respond they don't get any more updates on me #i don't tell them when i move next or where i've gone. if i change my phone number again they don't get it. #like. if you're not going to do me the courtesy of saying ''i got your message you sent'' #AFTER I'VE SENT A FOLLOW UP TWO WEEKS LATER #then you don't get to stay in touch because you clearly do not care about it. #....i already feel like i'm extremely unwantable and like no one will ever desire to stick with me long term #having the family members i spent the majority of my life being around not respond to me does not help that #the SINGULAR person in a whole list of recipients who responded quickly (and also thoroughly but that was *wholly* unexpected) #was someone I barely got a chance to know when I was young because of weird family drama I don't care about #because it doesn't fucking matter y'all are adults now act like it #like. the most supportive member of my family is a woman i thought disliked me on principle because i was my father's child #and it turns out no it's my dad who's the fucked up one who judged her children just because they were hers #cause he hates his sister for some fucking reason. #when she's genuinely the nicest and kindest person i've ever met in my whole family like???

[gyudons]

despicable

updates as of 22 oct

Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.

“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.

“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”

“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.

“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”

As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.

“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.

“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.

“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”

It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.

“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.

“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.

“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”

#nhl #pride #lgbt #gay #queer #hockey