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theodora3022 · 3 years

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Playing tricks with the trickster

Summary: Failed escape attempt from yandere Childe. He lets you play your cards, even playing along, just for his own amusement.

Notes: My first genshin piece yay... I had a sweet and terrible dream of me running from Childe in the woods. Also some inspiration was drawn from @cinnamonest‘s this post, one big virtual hug to her! I hope I did Childe justice, what can I say I love manipulative smiling boys. It has become a pattern as I dash from one fandom to another. This is had turned out to be longer then I expected...Ginger boy demands my time and energy too much omg. Mind the warnings, although there is nothing extreme in this.

Fun fact, I was looping to Nintendo game by Alessia Cara when writing this down. I believe it fits the theme of this fic quite well.

Tagging: @akutaguagua a great friend who patiently beta-read this mess of a horror dream and gave me lots of kind praises!

(Offical art belongs to miHoYo! This is a cover page of this video, if there is any issues, contact me and I will remove it at once)

Warnings: Implied past abduction,dub-con touching, mild degradation, drugging(not on reader), implied non-con/dub-con at the end, this is not healthy love and I do not condone this irl.

It has been nearly a month since the youngest Fatui Harbinger had “taken you in”. After a few tries, you were too horrified by the punishments to continuously fight him. You learned on the first day that Childe’s smiling, the friendly mask would come off towards you. Your behaviour would decide if that is a curse or a “blessing”.

So you had quieted down, struggling to restrain yourself from yelling or screaming, carefully not to provoke his anger. Despite being compliant to his orders, you never truly showed him any affection either. Sure, you would sit on his lap if he asked, but you never initiated anything intimate with him. No matter how much Tartaglia spoiled you with clothes, books, jewelry or other luxuries, he is still the one who holds the commanding end of your shackles. It’s the best not to get used to all of that when your sight is set on the door.

Although he has taken your freedom away, you are not kept in a windowless room. On the contrary, you have too many outings now. Wherever he goes, you have to be present in a 2m radius, including meetings. Being a Harbinger is no easy job, so he prefers not having to worry about your safetly during buisness hours. The best way to do that is never let you out of his sight.

“Love, no one should witness our little problems. Well, no one alive that is.” Of course you wouldn’t want to put innocent people's lives at stake. You never dared to act out when you two are in public, and no one would bat an eye if a Fatui had taken a lover.

You had taken an emotionless approach towards him. If Childe wants a kiss on the cheek, you’ll give him a quick light peck. If he wants breakfast, you’ll go make some pancakes with the topping he likes. Luckily, Childe had not done anything too extreme yet. If cuddling to sleep does not count as extreme that is. The only time you slipped up is when he suddenly hugs you from behind when you’re cooking.

You thought maybe, just maybe, by being as boring and dull as you could, this bastard might just get tired of you and let you go. Childe only loves the fun of it right? Or maybe it could lower his guard.

Oh, how naive you are. You should have known better than to underestimate a Fatui harbinger. See, this is exactly why he needs to keep you around. Yes, unfortunately for you, Childe loves you, so very much. Speaking to him with a monotone voice isn’t going to alter that fact.

You have been devoid of emotions as of late. While Childe does appreciate fewer screams for the sake of his eardrums, this schemer can sense you are up to something. Perhaps this is the peace before your “storm”(he thought of it more like a drizzle)

You want to play a game? Okay, why not? Childe cannot wait to see what tricks you got on those sleeves. Are you ever getting away? Does an amateur ever win when they play a game with a professional trickster? Never.

Still, nothing bites like a cornered rat. You are no airhead, and he is fully aware of that. Just not as cunning and observent as him, that’s all.

The way you just kept your emotions sealed up is impressive, even to someone like him. Even when he got hansy, you did not flinch and just stared at the corner. Childe can only catch faint glimpses of anger when you thought he wasn’t looking.

Hm, when are you pulling your trigger? Tonight, or tomorrow night? Not that Childe is impatient, anything from you is worth waiting. But he would need to dismiss his patrolling underlings in the nearby woods beforehand. No extras would be allowed to disturb this game.

There is no chance during the day, a somewhat mutual understanding for you two. Night time in comparison, is a different story.

Anyone’s sleeping hours is their most vulnerable time of the day, Childe is no exception. You do not plan to harm him, not that you don’t want to. But you are willing to swallow the pent up frustration towards him if you would never see his face again after this. Maybe beating up some slimes would help with the release?

You somehow managed to slip a mixture of herbs into his tea. Since he would buy cooking ingredients for you from time to time, you had requested a bunch of herbs along with the ingredients of a sleep inducing medicine you remembered. Although Childe does all he can to keep you near him, there are inevitable hours that he needs to be somewhere without you. He cannot jeopardize your safety with troublesome monsters. On a side note, he loves showing you off to anyone, his colleagues, acquaintances, business partners, anyone he does not deem a threat.

Enough time for you to make those herbs into powder and cover it up with a few spoons of milk. Tea with milk has become quite popular in Liyue as of late. Childe has grown to love them, so you have learned how to mix it up. He always let you handle his food and drinks, saying that he “trusts you”. What you do not know is this is one of the openings he exposed on purpose. It’s not like you can aquire anything deadly under his suffocating supervision.

Your plan will work, or so you think. Childe will not wake up when you wiggle out of his grasp, because dreamland will keep him occupied. All you need is a glider and a usable sword from Liyue and you’ll get your life back. Bottling up extreme emotions has certainly taken a toll on your mind, but it will be worth it if that is the prerequisite of being free.

Something about this being so easy sits ill with you. Have you really been with the youngest Fatui Harbinger this whole time? But that was brushed off your shoulders by the sheer excitement of regaining your long lost freedom. You know Liyue is in walking distance, all you need to do is cross these woods and-

The moment you dive into the forest, you think you heard an amused chuckle.

That smooth voice terrifies you to no end, the same voice you took orders from for the past month.

Oh, how Childe loves seeing you happy. It’s priceless, both literally and figuratively. No matter how many things he buys you, you had not shown him even one small smile. Enjoy your sweet freedom, because it ain’t going to last. You certainly will know your place after this right? If not you are just dumber then he give you credit for.

That glow of relief in your eyes is worth every last bit of this intense dizzying feeling to Childe. To make sure your plan go through, he had drunk the tea without hesitation, quick enough to catch the momentarily excitement you expressed. He knows the game is on, therefore he had given the night patrol guards the entire evening off. Forcing himself to stay concious by digging his nails into his palms, Childe followed you into the woods.

Your potion is quite strong. Excellent, you’ll have to give him the recipe for informational purposes later. Especially how you managed to achieve such effects with a few herbs you had. He never took you to be anything less than a smart girl, but this has exceeded his expectations. Where’s the fun in a game without challenges?

How you storm through the forest wearing that cute terrified expression looks so endearing, it’s surely not his fault if he wants to enjoy this sight to be longer right.

So, each time you feel the slightest at ease due to whatever reason, expect Childe to make some sound to send you running like your life depends on it again. The sadistic man is hunting you down playfully, like a cat chasing a stray mouse to the inevitable corner.

You know he is toying with you. There is nothing you can do to make him shut up though.

“Love, you had scratched your leg. Must hurts by the looks of it.”

“Liyue is that way, you know.”

“Are you tired? If you want to jog in the middle of the night, you should have called me to come along!”

How can he say those things nonchalantly while you are trying to escape from him? Here he is, daunting you with that signature smile he wears so very often. That is when reality slaps you right in the face. No matter how hard you plan, no matter how fast you run, there is no getting rid of him.

When your stamina runs out, a simple pull and push on your left wrist is enough to let you fall onto the ground panting. Even now, you still refuse to beg for mercy. You would take the cold grounds to the warmth of Childe’s embrace anyday.

“Aw, burnt out already? Pathetic. Looks like we need to work on your stamina more. But this is not the place for exercise.”

“Look at me.” His slender but forceful fingers tilt your head up, making you look into those ocean blue orbs. There is anger present in his eyes, but those emotions are more a mixture of delight and that. His smile had also been replaced by a mocking smirk. “You, trying to leave me? Your sense of humor is...well, let’s just call it unique. Lucky for you, you amused me nonetheless.”

“I know what you’re thinking. How I’m a selfish jerk and you hate me. Why be so ungrateful? You get to live in luxury thanks to me, you know. I am selfish, yes, but look how stupid you are. I know you added something extra in my evening tea, my beloved.”

“Come now, we are going to do some exercises suited for a night like this once we’re back home. It is our one month milestone, after all. You had already given me your gift, it is only fair for you that I do the same.”

Childe is not making a sarcastic remark. The thrill of that chase was the best fun he had in months. And you are going to love his gift too, maybe not right away, but surely sometimes after.

You have to mentally prepare yourself for the worst as he dragged you back to the prison, hopefully you’ll still be able to walk properly after whatever Childe got in store.

#yandere #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin #yandere childe x reader #yandere childe #yandere tartaglia #this is a dream fleshed out into a fic #i am not sorry

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itsmeimcathy · 5 years

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Paradise Lost, III

Klaroline AU | Crossover, Modern!AU, Frankenstein!AU

[Part 1] [Part 2] [AO3]

A/N. lmao it’s been 2 years, omg. I am so, so damn tired of this chapter - it has been lying on my drafts for years, literally, and every so often I went to add something, delete something else, and I was just. tired. of seeing it there with no apparent will to go somewhere, anywhere. What even is this story?? It doesn’t even have a plot. It’s just an AU for which I have some ideas, each one worse than the other, so idk if there will be an end. Or a point? Lol. Just - enjoy creature!klaus and dr. frankenstein!caroline and don’t expect too much. Let’s call it a personal experiment and practice for English writing.

This of course doesn’t mean I don’t love every single one of you who for some reason love this story??? Guys, really, each ask gave me life and made me cry because - yeah I suck, I can’t meet the promises I carelessly make, I’m so so sorry! But yeah, I hope this will make me look less, idk, bad?? I hope you enjoy despite everything. Also, since this is probably the only thing I will post until next year (also the only thing I’ve posted this year I guess??), merry Christmas and happy holidays and happy new years and hugs and kisses and confetti for everyone! ♥♥♥

warning: mentions of suicide and depression. no beta, i’m posting this now because, again, if i don’t it will just die in my drafts, so. i will read it tomorrow or in the next few days after I purged my eyes for a bit and i will be able to take a carefully objective look at it. feel free to point out any mistakes anyway!

PARADISE LOST – Part III

Abashed the Devil stood,

And felt how awful goodness is, and saw

Virtue in her shape how lovely.

—saw, and pined his loss.

[John Milton, Paradise Lost (846, 848)]

A year and ten months earlier.

Niklaus Mikaelson knew perfectly well that this time around, there would be no saving him. Strangely enough, the rapid nearing of his death did not worry him in the slightest.

After all, it wasn’t as if he had anything left to live for.

His family had been decimated – his brothers, his sisters, his parents, all dead in some way or another during the last fifteen years. And he was even more or less responsible of most of their deaths – that was probably the only reason why he hadn’t tried to escape the prison. His own kin’s blood that stained his hands. He was tired of fighting, tired of running, and he was sick of living with the ugly regret those deaths brought along.

Besides, cowardice was beneath him: he did no fear death.

Honestly, those nine months in the death row had been far worse than whatever would came next. For a man who had enjoyed life at its fullest, who had fancied his fair share of women and men, who had admired the most exquisite art, even producing some of his own – the devastating absence of any kind of beauty in the prison was probably a fate worse than death.

Moreover, the food was uneatable.

He hadn’t even wanted a lawyer, what would have been the point? So, they had appointed him one – an attorney who surely wasn’t paid enough and who trembled and swallowed anxiously every time he found himself sitting in front of him, as if he were Hannibal fucking Lecter.

Ludicrous. He had killed people, not eaten them. He wasn’t barbaric.

Wiser men than himself said that when one approaches one’s own death, images of the life he had conducted would flash in front of his eyes, like a morbid recap of all his good and bad and awful deeds that would determine his fate on the other side. As per his own personal experience, Klaus couldn’t really think of anything. He’d rather his last moments weren’t focused on his past, on things that he couldn’t change and for which it was too late to ask for even a modicum of forgiveness. Those who could grant it were dead too, anyway.

He let the guards move him from his secluded cell to the room where he would die soon, his eyes apathetic as they counted how many steps he had to walk. They had handcuffed him with his hands behind his back because they didn’t trust him – fools, each one of them; if he had a single spark of fight left he could have freed himself even with hands and feet chained, as it were, but the truth was – he hadn’t. He still remembered the time when he had bit off the jugular of a police officer just because he had liked to mock him, and – but no, he had decided he wouldn’t think of the past. He buried those memories in the back of his mind and kept counting the steps and the floor tiles.

They pushed him inside a somber room with grey walls that looked halfway between a doctor’s office and an interrogation room, seeing as it had both a hospital cot and a two-way mirror right in front of it. He ignored it – he didn’t want to think of how many reporters and police officers were sitting on the other side getting ready to enjoy his departure from this world. He simply let them guide him to the bed, allowing them to uncuff him so that he could sit and lie on it and then watching dispassionately as they cuffed his wrists to the banks of the bed.

Once settled, he decided to let his gaze wander around.

He counted ten people: the two guards who had held onto him as they brought him there, three who kept their weapons aimed at him from the corners of the room – bit of an overkill, he thought with a barely repressed smirk – his lawyer, the district attorney, a nurse and two doctors.

It was there that Klaus’ attention settled eventually: surprisingly, one of the doctors who had come to monitor his execution was a young and lovely blonde lady.

Finally – something good to focus on in his last moments on this blasted earth.

She didn’t look as if she particularly cared to be there – but he was a good judge of character, and so he knew better. Her skin was pale, but in an unhealthy way: the red of her eyes and the dark shadows under them suggested that she had had little sleep lately, a fact she was trying to hide behind glasses. She had little to no make-up, her hair styled in a bun ordinate enough to look professional.

He casually wondered what she would have looked like with her hair loose over her shoulders, without her glasses, perhaps with a smile on those delicious looking lips – must have been the drugs.

He didn’t listen as the DA read him his charges – he knew perfectly well why he was being executed. He didn’t need to be reminded of all his awful deeds – or, well, of those that the police were aware of.

Instead, he kept staring at that stunning blonde – damned him if he would leave this world without taking with him a delightful vision to look at on the other side, if there even was one.

Funnily enough, she was staring right back at him.

He would have liked to know her name, he realized while the nurse was fixing the needle in the crook of his elbow. The drip with whatever poison would have had the honor to kill him was ready, and Klaus was determined not to look at it. It wasn’t that difficult, with that woman’s attention utterly focalized on him.

He saw her gasp when they opened the tube to let the poison into his system, her teeth biting softly her bottom lip as her eyes darted around, as if someone would jump forward at any moment to stop the execution. I’m sorry, sweetheart, he thought, his mind already drowning in the mist of drugs. There’s going to be no salvation for me.

Her blue, wide eyes were the last thing he saw before being lulled towards the empty darkness.

Present day.

Caroline awoke slowly wrapped up in a comforting warmth, something that hadn’t happened in a very long time. A soft light poked timidly through her window’s curtains, making her groan and hide her face into the pillow.

She had the weirdest dream last night – she dreamt that Niklaus had returned to her. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking on her part – her subconscious revealing her desire for forgiveness, the gaping abyss of regrets she lived with – but she had almost made peace with him, had comforted him, held him. She had stopped wondering a long time ago why she dreamt of him instead of Tyler – clearly her shame exceeded the nostalgia she felt towards her late fiancé.

As she sluggishly came to her senses, though, she started to gather more details. A body pressed firmly against her back; an arm curled around her waist, its hand covering her stomach and preventing her escape. Slight puffs of air ticked her nape – someone’s breath – and occasionally a nose nuzzled her neck.

Caroline froze, confused. She didn’t remember having Stefan stay the night…

Because Stefan had the night shift at the hospital.

Suddenly, everything came together at once.

Trying to stifle the loud gasp she felt coming, Caroline stiffened, all the while looking for a way to get up without waking the person – Niklaus – still sleeping behind her.

When she had agreed in letting him sleep with her, last night, she hadn’t expected to wake up with him wrapped up around her like a second blanket. It was also strangely comforting, if she had to be honest; and in a brief lapse of clarity, she realized that she had not slept that well in more than a year.

His hand splayed over her belly was cold even through her top; one of his leg lied trapped between her warmest ones, and his face was buried in the sweet hollow of her shoulder. She had never known him to be a cuddler – not that they had ever slept together, voluntarily at least. She remembered, in fact, there were times when she had awoken just to find him next to her, usually well alert, rarely asleep, like a guardian dog of sort. Nightmares often kept him awake, at that time. Caroline wasn’t usually afraid of him – maybe in the beginning, but then she had quickly learned that Niklaus looked at her with that same unconditional trust and love that children nurture towards their mothers, and thus he would have never hurt her. Not purposefully, anyway.

Although now, the situation was quite different. She had betrayed him – abandoning him – and thus she doubted that his feelings towards her were still that pure. She tried not to think nor give a lot of importance to the kiss he had forced on her – she was sure there was a good, logical explanation.

Swiftly, and carefully as to not brusquely awake her guest, Caroline slipped from the bed and padded towards the kitchen, remembering to snatch her phone from the nightstand and setting off the alarm: no reason to wake Niklaus – Klaus, she mentally amended – earlier than was necessary.

Checking quickly her phone for texts, she found the usual Good morning from Stefan: he had just finished his shift at the hospital and was returning home hopefully to sleep the morning away, thus giving her plenty of time to think of some excuse to cancel their lunch date. With Klaus back in her life, and with no way to know where they were standing, she felt horribly guilty about seeing Stefan as if nothing were wrong. But she didn’t want to lie to him, so she decided to text him back later: in the meantime, she hoped she’d be able to gain a little more insight on the whole situation.

Klaus did seem to be in a talking mood just a few hours earlier, hopefully that hadn’t changed with a night of sleep.

Her hands started automatically to fix breakfast. Her stomach was currently too tightly wound to let her eat anything heavy, so she would have to give up on her eggs. As she prepared some coffee, finding a sort of peaceful comfort in the familiar gestures, Caroline went silently over all the questions she would have liked to ask him.

It was probably best to start from the beginning, and slowly work their way down to the present. She was indeed curious about the life he had lead away from her – one year mightn’t seem a lot, but for a newly reborn man, who had had only a moderate knowledge of the world and the way it worked, it ought to be a damn long adventure.

And what about companionship? Did he keep himself away from humanity, or had he tried to form links, have relationships, make friends? She noticed he had a way with words, now – he didn’t stutter, as he had done in the beginning, instead his tongue slithered fluently with every syllable, curling almost seductively around the most insignificant of letters. Again – did he have some tutor, or was he self-taught? Caroline found herself most intrigued, and despite everything she couldn’t wait to question him.

But all of this simply served as a delay for the actual problem. For she certainly hadn’t forgotten the ardent speech from last night – what he had pledged and threatened, what he had promised.

He wanted her – he said she was his.

Her first instinct was to scoff and dismiss him, it was that ridiculous. This was the twenty-first century, no one belonged to anyone anymore, what was this kind of caveman philosophy? Certainly not something he had learned from her.

And yet… A part of her, no matter how hard she tried to ignore and fight it, was somewhat thrilled. Well, she couldn’t belittle their relationship, by any means: they were linked, and deeply so – she had brought him back from the dead, for heaven’s sake – but was there something more? Perhaps his feelings were simply caused by the fact that she had nursed him back to health, that she had cared for him when he was in his most vulnerable state.

Perhaps it was only gratitude on his part, a gratitude he was misunderstanding because, with his memories missing and his innocent mind, he did not have any other basis for comparison?

Narrowing her eyes, she started stirring the coffee to cool it down a little. How in the hell was she supposed to deal with that situation…?

“You’ll ruin the cup that way,” came suddenly the quiet voice of her guest.

Caroline startled and raised her head, not very surprised that he had managed to come upon her undetected, and she offered a tentative smile. “Would you like some?” She asked, gesturing towards the coffee.

He nodded, and went to sit down in front of her while she fixed him a cup. Klaus murmured a thank you, cupping it with both hands and reveling in its heat, and wisely waited for her to speak again.

The silence stretched for a while longer, however neither of them found it too uncomfortable. With the morning light entering from the window, Caroline could examine Klaus for the first time after a long year.

His hair had grown. The last time she had seen him, he had a short, curly mop that she had loved to comb with her fingers, feeling the tiny scars underneath. Now, his hair was longer and darker, his curls less cherub-like: they looked softer and ruffled, but they didn’t give him the appearance of someone who neglects his look. To be honest, he looked like the first time she had seen him – in prison, about to face the death penalty with a sort of dignified resignation – maybe that’s what the aura of danger was about.

She swallowed the last of her coffee, then put the cup down with a soft click. Klaus seemed to sense that she wasn’t unable to start talking anytime soon – she had so many questions, she didn’t know where to start – so he was the one to finally break the silence.

“Why did you send me away, Caroline?” His voice, for the first time since last night, held no accusation. Just plain curiosity. “Were you so scared of me that abandonment was really the only option?”

She inhaled brusquely, her eyes snapping to his and her lips mouthing mutely some kind of answer. There went her carefully constructed questionnaire. “What…? No, Klaus, afraid of you? I was afraid of me, actually.”

She watched him frowning, his eyes darting all around her face as if there he could find further explanations; his coffee entirely forgotten, he rested his hands on the smooth surface of the table, in a gesture that Caroline knew meant he was deeply in thought. She knew what he was thinking, or at the very least she could guess where his pondering was taking him. He probably thought she was afraid because of the life he led before: she didn’t exactly know how much he remembered about it, or if he recalled anything at all, but it wasn’t hard to imagine that Klaus had berated himself over it after she sent him away. After all, she didn’t have any other reasons to fear him – except for last night, he had never even talked to her with spite or rage.

“What do you mean, you were afraid of yourself? You’d never hurt me, Caroline – and besides”, here he rolled his eyes, a familiar gesture that he ought to have taken from her, “I’ve always been stronger than you, physically. You knew that, you built me that way.”

Caroline frowned, pressing her lips together; she didn’t like thinking of it as her ‘building’ him – it felt even worse, more unethical. She looked away from him, focusing on something over his shoulder.

“I wasn’t… in the right state of mind when I did what I did to you, Klaus. I even went to therapy, after.” It felt so strange to finally admit that out loud, when no one knew except for her and her doctor. “I wasn’t feeling well, and that whole process… it destroyed me, emotionally, you know? I-I even tried to… well. It doesn’t matter now, I suppose. I hated what happened, and I was depressed, and alone, and… honestly, it’s only luck if I’m still here to tell you this.”

Her voice got progressively hoarser as she spoke. Images of the misery she’s been through in the last year – when she was alone, with no Tyler nor Klaus at her side whom she could seek comfort from – flashed in her mind like scenes from someone else’s life, leaving behind a dull feeling of helplessness and regret.

She felt Klaus’ golden eyes burning holes on her skin, but she refused to raise her head and look at him – she wouldn’t be able to keep talking, otherwise.

“I let you go because, in some tiny window of clarity, I realized all of that. I could have hurt you, or worse, and even if I deeply regretted my work, I… I didn’t want you to suffer. You didn’t ask to be brought back, you had no faults in that… Plus, you were still unused to a lot of things; some concepts came to you slower than others. I doubt you fully understood what was going on most of the time, why were you like that, why were you with me? It just felt like the right thing to do, giving you a chance to start over, to move on, away from me.”

The more she talked, the more she felt a weight lifting off her shoulders, as if the last year was spent in waiting of something like this to happen – as if apologizing and explaining herself to Klaus were the only things that mattered, that could save her from a hell of self-hate and desperation.

“I felt responsible for you. You looked up at me with such awe, such trust in your eyes, that I couldn’t… there were times where my feelings got the best of me, and I couldn’t even get up from the bed, let alone take care of you. Do you remember?” She wasn’t waiting for his answer, so he kept silent. “The first time it happened, you were so scared and worried that you couldn’t even speak clearly. You cried, and moaned, and tried your best to make me react, but of course it wasn’t that easy. I think it was the first time I lashed out at you.”

Caroline sniffed, rubbing the palm of her hands over her eyes, trying to conceal her tears. It was harder than she had thought taking it all out like this, laying the whole of her soul bare for the man in front of her to see, scrutinize, judge. Yet she didn’t stop.

“God, you should have seen your face. You just looked so… so betrayed, Klaus”, she swallowed, her voice dying a little. “You were trying to take care of me the only way you knew how, and instead of being nice I went mad.”

Oh, Klaus remembered perfectly well what she was referring to: it had happened a few months after his rebirth, when he still struggled to do things on his own, when he still couldn’t talk, when he didn’t even know her name. It wasn’t something he liked to dwell on – especially since he had so many other moments he could choose from, when he came to think of how he and Caroline had spent that first year – but now, in hindsight, he could do it with more clarity and a deeper understanding of events.

That didn’t mean, though, that knowing her reasons made forgiving her any easier.

He did think, at one point when the memories of his past life were starting to flow back to him, that Caroline had discovered some ugly truths about the person he had been before, and that that was what forced her to push him away, to get rid of him. It didn’t justify her, but it did explain her actions.

Of course, that hypothesis got discarded as soon as he remembered that she had been there, during his execution – she had known from the very beginning who he was, and who she was bringing back to life. If the fact that he had been a murderer wasn’t a problem before, surely it couldn’t be the reason why she had decided to let him go. Somehow, that was even harder to suffer.

But now, as he watched her as she forced her eyes to stay dry, as he listened to her voice tremble, as he smelled the sweet scent that always surrounded her like a cloud – he couldn’t, for the life of him, find that loathing that had kept him going for so long.

“Caroline…” He started, undecided. What could he possibly say to her confession? “I- You could have talked to me. You could have told me anything, and I would’ve understood, and… I could have helped you, Caroline.”

The honest pain in his tight voice made breathing harder. “It wasn’t your burden to bear”, she said.

Klaus shook his head, straightening up and pressing his back against the backrest of the chair. “I don’t understand”, he eventually snapped. “Did you think my mind was too simple to grasp the fact that you were suffering, and that your misery was somehow linked to me? Maybe I took my time to reacquaint myself to the world and its mysteries, but you! You, I’ve always known, since the moment I opened my eyes for the second time! If you recall, in those first weeks, I didn’t sleep much; I used to stay awake all night, jumping at the tiniest rumor, uncomfortable in my own skin. And so I heard when the nightmares woke you up, or when they kept you muttering and whimpering, when you spent the night turning and fussing in your bed. I knew you were in pain, I just didn’t know the exact motive, and it tortured me! You always pacified me the next morning, appeasing me with a strained smile, but that didn’t change the fact that I worried for you. Dammit, Caroline!”

He pushed violently the chair back, standing up and starting to pace around the little kitchen. He ignored her gasp at his reaction, passing a hand through his hair with an impatient gesture.

“Do you have any idea how much I worried? I may not have been that eloquent at the beginning, but even then, you should have known what I felt for you; I do like to think my affections were quite straightforward. And then one day, out of the blue, you drove us to the beach only for leaving me on the roadside later with only a bag and no explanation! After a whole day spent together, right when I was beginning to think that maybe you were starting to heal! You left me. Like an old dog you were suddenly tired of. I can’t… You left me alone in a world that was extraneous to me, a world where I didn’t belong anymore, and where the only person I had come to trust and care for had just betrayed me. You killed me a second time, Caroline.”

Caroline was crying silently, now, her shoulders trembling and one hand pressed against her mouth to muffle her sobs. Every word was a knife to her heart, a nail to her coffin – but she felt she deserved it. She wasn’t thinking clearly when she took the decision to let Klaus go – in her mind, she was convinced that it was the right thing to do, giving him a chance to a new start, a blank state, away from her and what she might represent. Of course, it wasn’t completely selfless of her – as she already told him, it was more for her benefit than his that she had left him. She was becoming ill, for heaven’s sake, it had nothing to do with Klaus personally!

God, sometimes it still felt like a dream. As if all that had happened right after Tyler’s death was but a fragment of her tired imagination, something she had dreamt in between shifts at the hospital, that would have disappeared into thin air as soon as she had opened her eyes and the sunrise had eaten away her nightly visions. A hallucination, maybe, caused by her grief.

However, once her eyes opened again, shedding the oddments of her dreams, the heavy burden of reality – of what she had done to Klaus, the horror and the ungodliness of her project – fell on her, leaving her breathless and almost crying on the floor.

Those weren’t the times she loved to remember when she her mind went back to Klaus, in the long year they spent apart. There were fun moments in between all the pain and the remorse, before everything became too much – times that she thought fondly of, with bittersweet nostalgia. Like when she had taught him to read, and he used to listen with rapt attention to her voice as his eyes followed the text; or when he watched her as she cooked, or of the few times, at the very beginning, when he barged inside the bathroom where she was taking a long bubbly bath because he didn’t find her anywhere in the apartment and was starting to get worried.

She cared so much about him, she could even admit in the privacy of her head that she loved him too, somehow – I’m yours, he had said, vowed, only the night before, when he had kissed her with an unrestrained passion that still made her shiver – and finding out how he had reacted at her giving him his freedom… as if she had purposefully done it to hurt him, as if she could possibly be able to… It was heartbreaking.

“I’m sorry”, she whispered after a long silence, wiping the tears with her hands. Her voice was but a shadow, a whisper of air. “I’m so sorry, Klaus.”

He didn’t answer immediately. She felt him watching – always watching, his eyes scorching upon her skin as if he could devour her simply by looking at her, as if he simply couldn’t bear to look anywhere else when he had her to stare – his ragged breath a loud sound in the empty kitchen. She didn’t fear him, no matter who or what he had been in his previous life: he was different now, she hoped, and her reactions from the last night were simply a product of her surprise, and the shock of suddenly finding someone in the darkness of her own home.

Suddenly he moved, and she hated herself for flinching.

Moving slowly as if she were a wild animal not to scare, Klaus bypassed the table and went near her. He kneeled besides her chair, his eyes never leaving her face, then he reached for her hands, carefully holding between his own.

She took a deep breath, then raised her eyes to meet his. She almost started to cry anew when she saw that there was no hate in the dark, inhuman gold of his own – only wariness and a deep fatigue, made easier to bear by the gentleness she found in his expression.

“Klaus…” She started again, her voice broken.

But he only shook his head, gentle yet firm. “The only reason why I accepted to hear you out, Caroline, was because you took care of me when I was helpless, and weak, and dependent on you. You brought me back to life in more ways than one, you taught me how to be human again, and your kindness will forever endear you to my eyes.” He raised a hand so very slowly to cup her face, softening when she didn’t recoil but pressed instead her cheek against his callous palm. “But you did abandon me, Maker, and that it’s not something I can just simply forgive.”

She closed her eyes, feeling as if he had stricken her, trying uselessly to prevent any more tears from coming. “Don’t call me Maker, please”, she whispered.

His thumb started drawing slow circles upon her cheek. “Isn’t that what you are?”

“I…” She snapped her lips shut, because she didn’t actually have an answer to that. What would she even say? That she thought they were friends, at the very least? Partners? Companions?

Could she even dare to think along those lines, after what was nothing less than a betrayal?

But that word – Maker – was dreadfully cold and cruel, it erased everything that had been between them, undermining their story, and most of all – it made her feel sick for what it represented.

“It puts me in a position of superiority that I most certainly don’t deserve, nor do I want”, she said eventually, lowering her teary eyes upon his carefully guarded expression. “Please, Klaus… Say something”, she whispered, raising a hand to cup his own, still solid against her cheek.

Klaus’s eyes flickered briefly on her hand, but he didn’t move – to her secret delight. He took a deep breath, then he fixed her with a grave stare.

“I am so angry with you, Caroline.” He admitted, roughly. “If you could look inside my soul, now, you’d be scared at the depth of my rage. And yet”, he continued, rising a bit more towards her, his voice going impossibly soft, his caress on her face gentle despite his words. “I find that I still love you so profoundly that I can almost feel it in my marrow, and it overshadows that anger. Even when I hated you, even when I planned thousand ways to get my revenge, I’ve never stopped loving you. Maybe that is what made me truly vicious, what ruined me.”

“Klaus–”

“Don’t leave me ever again, Caroline”, he interrupted her, shaking his head. “I couldn’t bear it a second time.” His lips barely touched the soft line of her jaw as he spoke, yet she closed her eyes, shivering. “I wouldn’t forgive you, a second time.”

Caroline couldn’t find in herself the will to avert his touch – his cold skin felt pleasant, his stubby cheek gently stroking her own a surprising comfort. She sighed, her eyes half-closed and tired, and she discreetly inhaled his scent relaxing in its familiarity.

Klaus kept talking, a soothing murmur barely audible over the pounding of her heart. “I know that you’re in love with that other man. I’m not asking you to love me like that, to love me like I do… I did not come here to force your hand. I only ask that you allow me to stay, here, besides you. I would be content with that.”

Caroline was so shocked by that declaration – by the certainty with which he had spoken, as if he knew her feelings better than herself – that she didn’t manage to reply on time, telling him – reassuring him? – that she didn’t exactly love Stefan. God, love was such a misused word. Why would she tell him that, though? Why would she want to? After everything?

She was too emotionally drained to deal with that now, so she pushed it in a corner of her brain and decided to leave if for another day.

“Why”, she asked, confused. “What do I have to offer you, that you can’t easily find anywhere else? You spent the last year travelling, and yet here is where you’d like to end up?”

Klaus’ eyes seemed to warm. “Precisely because of that, because I’ve seen the world and I came to realize that this, here, is where I belong. Where I long to be. By your side. Caroline”, he exhaled, grabbing her hands and holding them tight. “I wasn’t even meant to live this second life. And because you gave it to me, you gave me this second chance… Caroline, my life is yours. I’m yours. Don’t–” His voice broke a little, “don’t send me away.”

Caroline was so dazed by the drastic turn her morning had taken that she couldn’t even manage to feel panic at Klaus’ plea and pledge, and she didn’t know if that counted as a good or a bad thing. She thought he was angry, that he wanted to take revenge; she would be an adult and admit it, she hadn’t been fair with him. She had let her fear and depression take charge and had acted without taking into consideration the consequences, least of all what the abandonment would have felt like for Klaus – a newly reborn man that was just beginning to live again, and that could potentially risk imprisonment for crimes he didn’t even remember. She couldn’t bear to think of how that would have gone down – she had so badly miscalculated, and she could only thank Klaus for deciding to finally pay her a visit before things went worse.

Besides – she hated the idea of him despising her so much more than the one of having back in her life.

Eventually, with her voice hoarse and trembling, she gave him the answer he wanted. And inwardly said goodbye to the quiet, normal life she had briefly considered to have with Stefan.

“I won’t, Klaus. I promise.” She closed her eyes as her creature released a relieved sigh, his hands bringing her own to his lips to cover them with tiny, grateful kisses.

Later, as they sat in front of a fresher, warmer cup of coffee – their knees touching under the table, their shoulders pressing against each other in comfort – Klaus hummed as if he had just now remembered something, and nudged her gently to catch her attention.

With an interrogative sound, Caroline turned to him.

“There is another thing I meant to discuss with you”, he said, suddenly seeming uncertain.

What more could there possibly be? “Yes?”

“I remember you.”

Caroline blinked, perplexed, then – a light sparkled to life in her mind, shocking her into silence. She could only gape at him as she realized what he was referring to, except it couldn’t have been possible – not after the invasive surgery his body had gone through, not to mention the simple fact that he had died. He shouldn’t be able to remember anything from his previous life – he couldn’t. Science didn’t work that way.

Yet, Klaus seemed perfectly confident in what he was telling her, his thumb brushing gently her knee in a soothing manner. “I found out why I’ve always felt so at ease with you after all, why that sense of familiarity – it came to me in bit and pieces, and then I simply knew. You were there, Caroline. When I died… you were one of the doctors. I remember you.”

Caroline stared at him with wide eyes, speechless.

[word count: 5856]

#paradise lost #klaroline #kc au #niglia writes #kc: paradise lost #tvd #asdfghjkl what even is this #and the cliffhanger!!#i can't make promises about the next chapter but there is indeed one in progress #who knows guys #just living the moment #carpe diem #text #fanfictions #my writing #klaroline: paradise lost

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