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artificialqueens · 7 years

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My loneliness is killing you (Vatya) /Part 8/ - Polly

Author’s note: Hey ho, it’s me after a semi absence. Thanks for people checking in. I know this isn’t as loved as A story about love but it is what you’re getting. (ASAL will be continued soon too though) I don’t know what to say about this chapter, it doesn’t feature much plot but much fluff and smut and this story is dear to my heart.

All Chapters on AO3 and AQ

Summary: ‘How to Get Away with Murder’ trophy wife style. (LESBIAN AU)

Before

”You know what bothers me though?“ Violet asked against Katya’s lips while her fingers were digging into her shoulder blades.

“What?“ Katya bit into Violet’s bottom lip, causing Violet to let out a low moan.

She tried to step out of the embrace but Katya just dug her finger into Violet’s ass and pushed her body onto her own. Violet dragged her hands from Katya’s back to her chest, letting them momentarily dance around her collarbones, before lightly digging her fingers into Katya’s breasts. The top of her dress was too tight for Violet to let her fingers slip into it, so tight that it was slightly cutting into her breasts, pushing them tighter together, making them spill a little over the top, making Violet dizzy with the image of her fingers digging into Katya’s boobs instead, with her nipple between her fingers. Katya was in fact wearing too much altogether but Violet also didn’t want her to take it off, the neckline so deep, the slit in the leg so high, the material perfectly tight around her waist.

“You wear shit like this,“ she dragged her hands over Katya’s chest, over her boobs down to her waist and back up and felt Katya shudder under her touch. “And I never get to see it.“ Katya’s fingertips were digging into Violet’s ass painfully hard, both of their breathings were lower. “It’s not fair.” Violet locked eyes with Katya again. “Fuck, you’re so hot,“ she breathed out with a glance to Katya’s lips.

“I’m sorry you got leggings and hoodies for a week straight instead, darling.” Katya rolled her eyes a little and couldn’t lock eyes with Violet again and Violet wondered when someone had told her that she was gorgeous, that she was beautiful rather than hot or sexy the last time. Because of course she was those things but there was something weirdly vulnerable in her words.

“I like you in leggings and hoodies just the same. Maybe more.”

“You love yourself some false sense of domesticity don’t you?” Katya said with a smirk.

“You’re an idiot.”

Katya smiled at Violet almost shyly while her hands moved up Violet’s back and Violet was sure that Katya would be the death of her.

“Well, I thought,“ Katya said before pressing a fast kiss onto Violet’s lips. “What if I run into Violet tonight,“ she smiled at Violet before grabbing one of her hands, pressing a kiss onto it. ”Wouldn’t it be fun to rile her up?“ She let out a small laugh and Violet kissed her. She could feel Katya smile into the kiss.

Katya broke the kiss this time, she glanced at Violet’s lips, no doubt a mixture of both their red lipsticks on them, before locking their eyes and moving her hand to hold onto Violet’s face gently. ”You’re so beautiful,“ she whispered.

”I know,“ Violet said, causing Katya to let out a surprised laugh. ”I wasn’t the one that was asked to model for a painting tonight though.“

Katya raised her eyebrows and smirked and fair enough, Violet brought that onto herself for bringing up Alaska’s flirting.

Katya’s thumb lightly stroked over Violet’s jaw. ”About that…“

”Please don’t.“

”She should’ve asked you to model for her. If I could draw I would want to draw only you. You should be painted to hang in museums for eternity,“ Katya said with a smirk.

Violet rolled her eyes. ”I hang in many rooms of New York’s high society, that’s enough for now.“

Katya’s hand stopped its movement against Violet’s skin. ”What?“

Violet let out a sigh. ”Raja used to paint me… a lot.“

Katya moved out of their embrace. ”But Raja… only paints nude.“

There was a pause and maybe this would’ve been a funny moment under different circumstances but Violet didn’t like the tone in Katya’s voice one bit. Apparently tonight was the night of jealousy. She hesitated for a moment but she couldn’t lie to Katya or tell her half truths, besides she wasn’t ashamed of her past. ”Yeah… she does.“

Katya raised her eyebrows in question.

Violet sighed again. “We met when I was 19 and then she painted me a couple of times and she was nice enough and then she gave me like a small room in her artist’s chambers. Like she used to have this place where she-”

“Where she supported people that she thought could be it. I know, I’ve been there.”

“Right.”

“So what? You were her muse and she painted you-” Katya paused for a moment. “nude?”

Violet raised her eyebrows at her. “Yeah. Like you said, Raja kind of always paints nude people.”

“Did you fuck her?” Katya sounded downright pissed off now and Violet had to suppress the urge to roll her eyes.

“Yeah?”

Violet watched on as Katya swallowed hard and let her hand run through her hair, only causing some lose strands to fall out of her updo. “And… that’s still happening?”

Violet blinked away her surprise. “What? No? In case you missed it, she’s kind of getting married to Manila?” She vaguely gestured towards the window.

“Do you want it though? Do you want her?” Katya’s voice sounded weak now and she didn’t meet Violet’s eyes and nervously pulled her dress up to cover more of her chest.

Violet send her a confused smile before walking closer, Katya lifted her head up slightly but fixated her gaze on Violet’s shoulder instead. Violet took Katya’s face into both of her hands and pressed her lips onto Katya’s, carefully, slowly, not opening her mouth. Katya kept her hands at her side, not kissing Violet back. Reluctantly Violet tore her lips off of Katya’s and looked at her.

She locked eyes with her and could see the doubts, fear and maybe even anger in Katya’s eyes. “That’s been over for a long time.”

Katya’s facial expression didn’t change, she let out a frustrated sigh and stepped away from Violet again, walking over to the window and looking. “Where did you even meet her? Isn’t she like 50 years older than you?”

Violet chuckled lightly. “It’s 18 years.”

Katya turned around swiftly, her eyebrows furrowed. “That was twice your age!”

“What the fuck is your deal? Your husband is what? Like 25 years older than you!”

Katya let out another frustrated sigh and turned to look out of the window again. “Maybe I should go.”

Violet panicked. She couldn’t have Katya leaving, not when they had so little time, so few chances, no idea when they would see each other again. Violet didn’t even know why she was acting so defensive. Maybe because she could say what she was thinking without risking bruises and scratches. Maybe because she felt protective over Raja who had saved her from poverty. Maybe because she had a hard time fully admitting to herself that she was in love with Katya.

She stepped next to Katya and put her hand on top of hers on the window still. “Please don’t. Don’t leave.” She let out a sigh and looked out of the window too.

They could see the ballroom they had been previously in from here. Violet could see Alaska, could see Raja laughing about something Alaska had said while her hand rested around Manila’s hip, Manila leaning onto Raja. She could tell that Katya was watching them too and wondered if it was really Raja Katya was jealous of or the fact that Raja and Manila had what Violet and Katya would never have.

Violet let out a sigh. “It’s been over for a long time. I don’t want her anymore.” ‘I only want you’, she thought. “We met in the burlesque bar I was working at when I was 19. She was 37. She painted me a lot. We had sex a few times after we met, not a lot. And it stopped quickly. She likes to separate work and pleasure and I’m pretty sure she was already into Manila back then and I was fine with that. It was over before it begun. She introduced me to one of Christian’s friends who collected her works at the time.”

Violet could tell that Katya was looking at her intently now. “You worked at a burlesque bar?”

Violet turned her head and looked at Katya amused. “Focusing on the important details I see.”

Katya let out a weird laugh before she squeezed Violet’s hand once and walked backwards to the bed, letting herself drop onto the end of it, sitting, crossing her legs, causing the slit in her dress to reveal her thigh. Violet could see the stockings, strings of a garter belt, black lacy underwear and swallowed hard before fully facing Katya again.

Katya smiled at her lightly while moving her arms behind herself to support her weight, Violet could see her chest rising and falling while some loose hair was cascading around her collarbones that seemed to be more prominent and her entire skin seemed to be even more golden than previously.

She looked Violet up and down once slowly, her eyes filled with desire. “Strip.”

“What?”

“Strip, Violet. Do the burlesque thing.”

They stared at each other for a moment and Violet’s brain needed a moment to deal with this mood swing. Katya looked a bit concerned now before her eyes looked down Violet’s body and she got back up again.

“You don’t have to do anything, baby, but I would like to see you all pretty and naked and all of this-” she let her hand run over the material of Violet’s tight overall “-on the ground.” Violet nodded slowly, Katya continued to talk. “And if you’re good I might have a little surprise for you.” A smack to Violet’s ass, a wicked smile before she slowly walked to the door, leaving a slightly perplexed Violet. “Pick a song, I’ll be right back.”

Violet didn’t really know what to make out of all this and she knew even less when Katya returned with a small bag, no doubt containing whatever she wore for sleeping, Violet wondered whether it would be a pretty lacy negligé or something satin, and her toiletries. What Violet had not been expecting however was the strap on Katya pulled out and presented to her with wiggling eyebrows.

“Why do you even have this? Who did you plan on fucking here?”

“You.”

“You didn’t even know I’d be here.”

“Well, Raja mentioned someone that would be here that sounded an awful lot like you when I met her but I couldn’t ask because I was with David. But I thought about you being here and then I thought about making you scream and then I went out and bought this and decided to bring it. Just in case,” Katya explained nonchalantly. “I come prepared.” Violet wanted to wipe that smug grin of her face.

“Huh.”

“Are you up for it?”

Violet looked at the strap on and imagined Katya wearing it, sliding it over her tanned, strong thighs and pounding into Violet. Katya looked at Violet carefully before a small, knowing smile broke out on her face. She walked to where Violet was standing and kissed her softly.

“I’ll fuck you with it so hard that you won’t even remember your own name. But you have to be good, baby,” Katya said now in a lower voice.

And Violet’s legs got weak, she felt herself getting wet just from the thought of Katya strapping it on, towering over her, beautiful and golden and strong, and fucking her into the mattress hard. A smirk broke out on her face. She made a detour towards her phone where she had picked out one of her old songs she used to perform to, Video Games by Lana del Rey. She tried not to cringe at the quality her phone speaker were offering and made her way towards Katya who was now standing in front of the bed again.

The song was all slow and sensual and sexual and Violet matched her walk to it. She stopped in front of Katya and turned around.

“You have to help me out of this first, I can’t climb out of this sensually.”

“Mhm, you’re already failing.” Katya smiled before spinning Violet around, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder and peeling Violet out of the tight garment. It shouldn’t have been sexy, it was all giggles and Violet shimmying out of the tight garment while hanging off of Katya. Maybe it wasn’t sexy but nice and warm and familiar.

“Okay, let’s start this over,” Violet laughed before skipping back to the start of the song and walking to Katya once again. They had time, they had time, they had time for the first time since meeting each other.

She slowly opened Katya’s zipper and let her dress fall to the ground before turning her around and pressing her front against Katya’s back, letting her hands slip under the bra, softly moving over Katya’s nipple, feeling Katya’s head drop against her own shoulder, mouth open just the littlest bit, eyes closed. Violet swayed against her with the beat for a moment, finger still on the soft skin of Katya’s breast before spinning her back around and pushing her onto the bed roughly.

Katya catched herself and got comfortable, pupils wide, not leaving Violet’s body and taking in every inch.

“So,” she said lowly with a grin spreading on her face and Violet wanted her so much. “Strip.”

Taking of clothes wasn’t considered as an art form by most but Violet considered it as the one art she had perfectly mastered. They way she swayed her hips, all soft, slow, rolled her stockings down teasingly, the way she let her hair cascade down her back, every move was perfect and Violet knew it. Could tell that she was perfect in the way Katya swallowed hard, the way she crossed her legs, the way Violet could see the change in her breathing. Bathed in the sharp inhale Katya took when Violet dropped her bra, saw her eyes zeroing in on the piercing going right through Violet’s left nipple. Katya hadn’t seen it yet because Violet never wore it around her husband but the way Katya was looking at her with lust made violet glad she had decided to put it in this morning before leaving. She thought that maybe she could get off just from Katya’s lustful gaze and doubted she had ever been this wet, felt it slightly on her thigh.

“That will be enough,” Katya choked out before getting up from the bed and attacking Violet’s lips, her body in fury. Katya never really was one to be soft but fingers digging in the naked skin of Violet’s ass, biting down on her lip, fingers sliding into her without a warning was new and thrilling. And Violet knew that she had to cover up the bruises and hickeys tomorrow but she could not bring herself to care, not when Katya’s fingers inside her were making her legs weak.

Katya seemed to finally find mercy in herself and pushed Violet onto the bed. Violet had somehow managed to tear Katya’s bra off of her in all the frenzy but even the minute Katya spend with taking of the remainder of her clothes and stepping into the strap on seemed to stretch on.

“Kat.” Violet’s voice was so weak and Katya didn’t seem to hurry up, instead just grinned at Violet. “Kat, need you now.” Violet heard how whiny, how desperate she sounded, could hear Katya let out a shaky breath and knew that Katya wanted her just as much, was going out of her mind just as much.

She finally finished putting the strap on on and crawled onto the bed, towering over Violet.

Her head moved down to lick over Violet’s pierced nipple once, Violet shuddered involuntarily.

“It’s so sensitive,” Katya breathed out and locked eyes with Violet before kissing her rough again. And Violet loved this, loved how Katya could be so soft but then so dominant, so hard and oh how much she needed her.

“Kat,” she whimpered again and Katya cursed under her breath before letting her forehead rest against Violet and Violet could feel the head of the strap on at her entrance.

“Say please.” Katya’s voice was low and raspy and Violet felt it to the core.

They just looked at each other for a moment and Katya pushed into Violet once, fully, hard, before pulling out completely. “Say please.” Her voice was thick with dominance now and and Violet wrapped her arms around her, dug her fingernails into her shoulder blades.

“Kat, please.”

“Good baby,” Katya whispered before placing a chaste kiss onto Violet’s lips.

“Katya, Kat. Please, please, please.”

And then she was fucking her without mercy and Violet’s brain seemed unable to form any words apart from Katya’s name and soft pleading’. Each word was met with a thrust, deep and hard and filling, until Katya couldn’t take it anymore and just let her head drop against Violet’s shoulder and sped up the rhythm.

“Violet, Vi, God, fuck, Vi.” And Violet thought that the world could never be that bad if she was lucky enough to hear the voice of the woman she loved moaning her name while she was fucking her, while she was loving Violet.

She could feel her orgasmn build up, could tell from the way Katya was moaning into Violet’s shoulder, from the way her fingers were digging into Violet’s hipbones that she was close.

“Vi,” Katya plead and Violet didn’t know what Katya was pleading for so she just kissed her. Kissed her hard, kissed her soft, kissed her through both their orgasms, kissed her until Katya pulled out and took the strap on off.

She kissed her again once she was lying next to Violet and felt Katya smile into the kiss while her hands were at the back of Violet’s neck and at her waist and Violet doubted she had ever been this happy.

“Thank you,” she whispered against Katya’s lips.

Katya leaned back slightly and stroked some hair out of Violet’s face. “We all need a good fuck from time to time.”

Violet placed a soft peck at the corner of Katya’s lips. “Not for that. Though…” she grinned at Katya who just grinned back. “I meant for everything, I-”

“I know. I know, baby. Me too,” Katya cut her off before kissing Violet again.

Violet tore her lips away this time. “What do you say about getting all cleaned up and getting all this-“ she gestured towards both their faces with messy make up “off before we get too cozy?”

Katya just grumbled and pulled Violet closer.

“I have a tub,” Violet said and Katya loosened her grip.

Bathing with someone was logistically challenging. The bathtub was a bit small and Violet could feel her make up melting with sweat and steam and her hair wass wet and flat against her forehead, her shoulders, against Katya. She was sitting in between Katya’s legs, her boobs pressed against Violet’s back, her arms around Violet. It wasn’t sexual but it was intimate and vulnerable in a way Violet wasn’t used to and usually wanted to run from.

It wasn’t until later, wrapped up around each other and the sheets, their naked bodies still warm from the bath pressed against each other, some bullshit movie on the TV that Violet realised that this was the sort of intimacy Katya wasn’t used to either.

“You have a lash,” Violet said while carefully taking the lash from Katya’s cheek.

“Wait.” Violet grabbed Katya’s face with one hand and picks the lash that previously rested against Katya’s skin up on her index finger.

Katya gently took Violet’s wrist and brought the finger with the lash close to her mouth. She closed her eyes, there were fine lines appearing at the edges of her eyes, and blew the lash off of Violets finger. Violet blinked at her slightly confused but with a small smile.

“Gotta make a wish,” Katya smiled before releasing Violet’s hand.

It threw Violet off that Katya who always seems to be a little at war with the world would make a wish on a lash, believe in superstition like that. But there was something about it that seemed natural and Violet realised that maybe believing in the good might be more Katya than being at war with everything and everyone, realised that the world had made her hard.

She marvelled at the realisation that Katya was being soft with her and that she liked falling asleep with her arms around her, with her soft hair against her skin, with her warm body against her own, with her low and deep breaths, with her talking quietly in her sleep, with upon waking up finding out how Katya looked all confused and sleepy and cute in the morning, with how she would kiss Violet good morning and good night, with just how much Violet loved her.

#vatya #lesbian au #cisgirl au #my loneliness is killing you #polly #au #fluff #smut #katya zamolodchikova #violet chachki #rpdr fanfiction

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Cold Hands - Chapter 8 (Trixya) - Star

Trixya Victorian AU

Hi guys! I’m sorry for the rather long wait for this chapter, college is so busy right now and I wanted to make sure this was written as well as it could be!

This fic will have a happy ending (as voted by you guys), I promise, and will finish at chapter 10. Thank you for the continuous support!

Bath water ran cold and worries grew heated. Katya perched on the edge of the hard white bathtub, wrapped in a dark red satin robe and waiting patiently for Trixie to return. Tapping her fingertips of one hand idly across her knee, and gliding the other across the surface of the rapidly cooling water, she sighed.

Rising from her position, she slipped her feet into her navy coloured slippers, noticing that the clock on the wall opposite her had struck ten - a whole twenty minutes since Trixie had left to discard the letter Katya’s father had delivered. Trixie had said that she would come back - that she’d be back in a matter of minutes, Katya reminded herself, attempting to allow the panic that had begun rising within her to calm.

What if’s and countless possibly’s circulated through her mind as she coasted down the stairway and in to the main corridor of the manor.

Thoughts that could not be quelled and nerves that remained shaken left Katya wondering what if she got hurt along the way or what if she collapsed somewhere or what if she -

What if she read the letter. Pausing outside the door to the kitchen, Katya’s eyes landed upon the elegantly folded piece of paper that had been seemingly discarded carelessly in to the corner, faint specks of dust beginning to gather on it.

Unfolding the paper confirmed Katya’s suspicions - she must have read it, the Russian acknowledged.

The dim light of candles slithered through the crack in the not quite fully closed door to the kitchen ahead of her, alerting Katya to the fact that there must be people still in the kitchen if they had yet to extinguish the flames of the candles.

Knocking tentatively, though unwilling to wait for an answer, Katya pushed open the creaky hinged door to one of the smaller rooms of the manor, the sight of Sharon and Alaska greeting her as she did so.

Both girls glanced up as Katya entered the room, Alaska’s facial expression soft in comparison to Sharon’s, who kept her chin rested upon her hand that was propped up by her elbow on the countertop.

Reaching down to wrap her arms around herself protectively, Katya shuffled further into the room, neglecting to close the door behind her. Katya pulled her satin robe closer to her body, Sharon’s confusing, scrutinising glare making her feel small and somewhat out of place in her own home.

Alaska smiled at Katya, giving Sharon a noticeable nudge to the side.

“Hello”. Stated Katya simply, standing uncharacteristically nervous in front of both Sharon and Alaska.

“Katya-”. Began Alaska, acknowledging Katya’s presence as a faint smile crossed her face. “-can we assist you with something?”. Alaska queried, unused to Katya leaving her bedroom at such a late hour.

Katya shrugged her shoulders, attempting to appear nonchalant as she observed both girls, keeping a tight grasp of the letter in her right hand.

“You have not happened to see Trixie, no?”. Asked Katya, teeth nibbling at her bottom lip anxiously. “It is simply that she-”. Katya paused, uncrossing her arms from around her body in order to show the other two girls the letter in her hand.

“-she was meant to discard of this for me, and then return to the bathroom on the first floor. Only, it has been over twenty minutes according to my calculations and I discovered this laying outside of this room”. Elaborated Katya, gesticulating to the letter that she had dropped haphazardly in front of Sharon and Alaska on the countertop.

Alaska��s eyes widened, starring cautiously at the letter that lay open in front of her.

“Well?”. Added Katya, before she sighed, letting out an exhalation of discontent.

“I apologise for my rudeness-”. Stated Katya, leaning her hip against the countertop as she ran her fingers through her untamed hair.

“-however I am very worried. It is entirely out of character of Trixie for her not to keep to her word”.

Gazing down at the letter, Katya picked it up once again.

“Did either one of you happen to read this?”. Katya inquired, attention being drawn away from the matter of Trixie’s apparent disappearance and to the actions of the two girls in front of her, courtesy of their guilty facial expressions.

Sharon nodded her head instantly, Alaska mumbling a faint yes shortly after her. Sharon dropped her head, chin leaving her hand as Alaska’s gaze rose to meet Katya’s.

“Then you are aware of what was said in it, yes?”. Katya continued, receiving the same responses from Alaska and Sharon as she did to her first question. A nod and a mumbled yes.

“I thought your father wrote the unspoken truth”. Sharon grumbled, proceeding when she felt Katya’s harsh eyes bore in to the top of her head. “I agree with him, you barely know Trixie”. Sharon reiterated, to which a gasp left Alaska’s open mouth.

“Sharon-”. Alaska began tentatively, placing her hand on the other girls thigh in an attempt to stop any more words leaving the girls mouth.

“No”. Katya interjected, turning to face Sharon fully. “Let her finish what she has begun”.

Straightening her back, Sharon uncrossed her legs, leaning across the counter top until she was further in to Katya’s personal space than what would have been deemed acceptable.

“You are aware of what I mean”. Sharon gritted out through her teeth, eyes remaining harshly locked with Katya’s.

“Actually, I am not. Please clarify, Sharon”. Katya spat back at the ever so slightly taller girl, venom prominent in her tone.

Sharon scowled, pointing down at the letter.

“I shall tell you exactly as I told Alaska moments ago-”. She began, watching as Katya began to piece things together slowly. “As I said, I do agree with your father. People like her are simply on a quest for what they can receive from people like you. Also-”.

Stopping in her tracks, Sharon’s words halted, the screech of Alaska’s wooden stool scraping the tiled floor of the kitchen as she stood abruptly.

“Stop talking”. Demanded Alaska.

Sharon reacted instantaneous, cowering in response to Alaska’s ferocity.

“Katya-”. Alaska started, her tone of voice this time softer. More sympathetic.

Katya turned her attention towards Alaska, perplexed and irritated.

“Please tell me the truth”. Breathed Katya, posture slouching in dismay.

“You said that Trixie was on route to discard the letter for you, yes? - well, I fear she may have heard Sharon and I talking, hence why the letter was-”. Alaska trailed off, voice becoming almost a whisper as Katya’s eyes widened in response to her words.

“It is not as if I intended for her to hear what I said or-”. Interrupted Sharon.

“Do not lie, it does not suit you very well”. Countered Alaska, glancing fleetingly towards her wife with an air of disbelief.

“I do not believe the words leaving your mouth-”. Alaska continued, eyes never leaving Sharon’s. “-I am from the same background as Trixie, would you have said these unkind words to me? Would you have thought them of me? - do you believe that I chose to come and live here with you simply because of Katya’s wealth?”. Alaska rattled off her questions, voice rising as she spoke.

Sharon shook her head, eyes bulging as a singular tear rolled down her cheek.

“No ‘Laska, I do not believe that at all!, I adore you, you are aware of that! Trixie however is-”. Sharon began, only to be cut off by Alaska once again.

“Do not tell me that Trixie is different. Do not.” Alaska spoke with a malice that Sharon was unaccustomed to, leaving the elder girls eyes to begin releasing more tears.

“I-”. Sniffed Sharon, shaking her head, albeit to herself. “I do not know what I was thinking”. She mumbled, looking back and forth between Katya and Alaska, who both stared back at her anxious and and annoyed.

Katya exhaled shakily, picking up the letter and scrunching it violently between her fingers.

“Gather everybody. Search the halls, search the grounds, search the village. I do not care what one has to do, but find Trixie. Find her or I swear to god I will-”. Katya stopped herself, willing her words to remain unsaid.

Sharon nodded instantly, wiping away the tears from her cheeks and standing up before Alaska could take in Katya’s words.

“She could not have gone far”. Stated Sharon, turning to look at Alaska for support. The younger girl nodded her head, smiling reassuringly at Katya who had already gotten up to leave the room.

“I hope for both of your sakes that you are correct”.

*****

“She is not in the halls”. Pearl bellowed, entering the hallway to the manor at the same time as Alaska, Violet, Adore and Sutan.

“You are certain?”. Questioned Katya, biting her nails nervously as she paced back and forth the dark wooden floors of the corridor.

“Yes, M'am”. Sutan answered, just as Bianca and Sharon entered from outdoors, hats covered in a fine layer of snow.

“She is not within the grounds”. Bianca hurried, brushing off the ice from her boots.

Katya shook her head quickly, unwilling to believe Bianca’s words.

“She has to be!”. Katya panicked further, eyes welling with unshed tears.

“David has taken a horse from the stables-”. Sharon started. “-he has began a trek in to the village”.

Katya nodded her head in understanding, eyes flickering towards the grandfather clock that stood proudly in the hallway, ticking away. Eleven. An hour had passed.

If it were a normal day where the weather was not as extreme as it was, Katya acknowledged, it was probable that the lighter blonde girl could have made it to the village within the hour. The snow outside, combined with the late hours of the winter night and the unease of the atmosphere told her otherwise.

“Ok-”. Mumbled Katya, turning to Sharon and Sutan who stood next to each other.

“-Both of you, come with me. We shall do as David has and begin journeying to the village. There are many different paths that one might take, therefor we shall travel different routes. Understood?”. Asserted Katya, shuffling herself along with aforementioned Sutan and Sharon out of the room and towards the stables.

“Take the stallions”. Katya directed. “They shall be more efficient in these such conditions”.

“Yes, M'am”. Sutan and Sharon answered in unison, saddling up the horses as Katya told them too.

“I shall travel along the road of the chapel - yes?”. Katya reiterated, turning her attention to tightening the reigns of the horse as Sharon and Sutan nodded in agreement.

“Sutan, bypass the cottages and head directly through the poppy fields and in to the market street. Sharon-”. Began Katya, turning to look at Sharon who was occupied with adjusting her feet in the stirrups.

“-I am entrusting you with this. You are knowledgeable of where Alaska lived as a child, yes?”. Sharon nodded, Katya smiling briefly in response.

“Go there. It is where Trixie also used to live before-”. Katya halted, shaking her head to herself.

“We shall cross paths at the tavern. If one of us is to find her - you are aware of what to do. She is still injured and it is deathly cold outside”. Katya finalised, beginning to move the horse out of the stables courtyard and in to the relentless snowfall.

“We will find her”. Sharon mumbled, horse cantering off ahead of Katya’s.

Katya grimaced, though nodded regardless.

“We will”.

*****

The weather outside worsened as the minutes trickled by, clocks ticking away as time remained frozen in Katya’s mind akin to the icy ground.

“You did not find her, no?”. Katya asked Sutan as her horse trotted up to the tavern where Sutan was already standing, horses reigns tied to a lamppost as Sutan himself paced the edge of the street.

“Unfortunately no, M'am”. Sutan sighed, watching in sadness as Katya’s eyes down turned, a frown taking over her features.

Worry still flooded through Katya’s every vein, anxiety taking over her being as her pocket watch told her it had reached midnight.

“It has been over two hours-”. Katya mumbled, hopping off of her horse to stand next to Sutan. “-what if she-”. Katya trailed off, crossing her arms tightly over her chest.

“Do not think such things”. Sutan interrupted, placing his hand comfortingly upon Katya’s shoulder.

Katya looked up hesitantly, eyes slightly puffy from both emotion and exhaustion.

“I am scared”. Katya practically whispered, loose strands of hair that had broken free from the confines of her hat blowing across her face in the wind that breezed around them.

Sutan’s gaze softened visibly, hand squeezing Katya’s shoulder before he dropped it to back down to his own side.

“Listen Katya-”. Sutan addressed, calling Katya by her given name and not by M'am or Miss for what was probably the first time. “-you have every right to be scared, although, I would advise you not to be so. We shall find Trixie. I promise. If she means this much to you then we shall-”.

“I love her”. Katya interjected, a warm, fresh tear falling down her ice cold cheek.

“I love her-”. Repeated Katya, moving to lean against her horse for support. “-it is madness. I have known her a short while yet I-”.

Sutan smiled, nodding his head in understanding.

“David and I-”. He began, shuffling his feet nervously through the snow on the ground ahead of him. “-I have never informed you of this, yet, we have been courting if you will, for a little under two years. My point however is that I knew that I loved that beautiful man within days”.

Katya glanced up towards Sutan, eyes lit with bewilderment and awe.

“Time plays no factor in truth”. Sutan finished, stroking his horses head as it began to neigh restlessly.

“If we are to find her-”. Katya spoke, this time clearer and with certainty.

“When we are to find her”. Corrected Sutan, eyes darting over Katya’s shoulder.

“When”. Katya repeated after Sutan, pulling her structured coat closer to her body.

“I shall tell her”. Katya stated defiantly, eyeing Sutan suspiciously as he continued to glance between her and over her shoulder.

“That would be a wise decision”. Sutan smiled before he continued. “She is a wonderful lady, Katya. She and I spoke for a little while whilst you were with Bianca merely days ago. She caught David and I-”. Sutan paused once again, chuckling lowly to himself.

“-we had a chuckle about it. She told me I looked like a startled deer and I knew instantly that her intentions were nothing short of pure”. Finished Sutan, a minuscule grin placing itself on his face as Katya’s eyes glowed at his positive words about Trixie.

“She is indeed wonderful”. Katya breathed, turning her head seconds later to the pathway behind her, where Sutan’s eyes still remained focused.

“What be it you keep looking at?”. queried Katya, eyes scrunching in focus. Curse my awful eyesight, she mused to herself.

“Tell her”. Mumbled Sutan from behind Katya, hand coming up to squeeze her shoulder in reassurance once again.

“Sorry?”. Katya blinked, feeling Sutan remove his hand from her shoulder as she spun back around to face him momentarily.

“Tell her”. Sutan emphasised, pointing towards the nearing silhouette.

“Oh my lord-”. Gasped Katya, fingers snapping her pocket watch shut and legs moving her closer towards the horse that she recognised as one of her own.

“Sutan!-”. She heard Sharon below, before her eyes focused enough in order to see her. “-I am in need of some strength over here!”.

Katya’s eyes remained wide, staring in a combination of elation, astonishment and despair.

Sharon was the one she noticed first, sat awkwardly sideways upon the saddle of the horse, though her attention was quickly diverted to the lighter blonde, frail looking frozen girl next to her.

Trixie.

Trixie, Slumped equally as awkward against Sharon’s shoulder, eyes closed tightly and hands fisted securely in the warmth of Sharon’s coat, looked nothing short of an illusion of destruction.

Watching as Sutan manoeuvred Trixie so that she was laying against the neck of the horse with Sharon behind her, arms wrapped fixedly around the younger girls trembling body, Katya began to walk briskly towards them.

“We need to get her back to the manor, instantly”. Were Sharon’s first words, eyes conveying to Katya just how serious she was; how serious the entire situation was.

“Yes, yes of course-”. Katya blurted, tucking a strand of hair behind Trixie’s red tipped ear, feeling the glacial skin beneath her fingertips.

“-where did you find her, Sharon?”. Katya added, taking off her own shawl and wrapping it around both Sharon and Trixie’s shoulders, the wind continuing to pelt them relentlessly with snow.

“Early yesterday evening, Trixie confessed to myself and Alaska that there was this one particular pavilion that she often acquainted when she felt low and - I knew where it was as Alaska and I would visit there often”. Sharon rushed out, signalling for both Sutan and Katya to mount their respective horses once again in order to begin their journey back to the manor.

Katya nodded, realisation hitting her that Trixie had been outdoors for hours. Two too long hours where she should have realised where Trixie would have been all along.

Sharon knew where she would go and I did not, Katya acknowledged.

“Katya-”. Trixie whimpered, head rising a minuscule amount from its position against the horses neck. “-M'sorry”. She continued to mumble, reaching out her arm in the vague direction of Katya’s presence.

Katya sniffed, eyes watering and cheeks flushed pink as she noticed the bruised flesh of Trixie’s arm, a number of small prickles of blood littering the deadly white pale skin.

“No. No no no-”. Started Katya. “It is me who should be apologising to you, sweet”.

“And I”. Sharon interjected, regret evident on her face as she kept Trixie’s body steady upon the horse once they began their trek back down the rocky cobbled streets to Katya’s home.

“Ladies-”. Sutan cut Sharon off, pointing to the thunderous sky above them. “-save the conversing for a future moment. I predict this storm shall worsen further if we do not return hastily”.

Katya nodded in agreement, as did Sharon.

“Let us go, at once”.

*****

Alaska sat next to Katya on a small futon in one of Katya’s unused bedrooms, where Trixie lay tucked up amongst the navy blue bedsheets, a warm damp flannel placed on her forehead.

Her milky white skin contrasted with the deep blue of the bed sheets, as did her light golden hair. The bruise running up her arm however matched the decor perfectly, which emphasised the severity of the injury.

“This situation feels all too familiar”. Whispered Katya, glancing at Alaska with hopeful eyes.

“One could wish”. Alaska breathed heavily, checking the time on the wall clock as to know when to replace the flannel on Trixie’s head with a fresh one.

“I fear this time she may not be as fortunate”. Alaska sighed, refusing to make eye contact with the Russian girl sat next to her, tears still flowing sporadically from her eyes.

“Please, do not-”. Katya began, not having to finish her sentence as Alaska nodded in instant understanding.

“Would you like me to leave?”. Questioned Alaska tentatively, gaining Katya’s attention.

“I-”. Katya began, though was cut short by Alaska placing her hand comfortingly on her shoulder, a grounding reminder that everything that was occurring was real.

“Look, Kat-”. Spoke Alaska softly; kindly.

“-These are not words I wish to speak however, they must be addressed. Trixie’s recovery the first time was outstanding. It was a miracle, if one were to be honest. Can you say wholeheartedly that you believe in second miracles?”. Alaska trod around her words with care.

Katya paused.

No.

She shook her head slowly, coming to rest her head in her hands.

“I shall leave-”. Stated Alaska. “-You deserve to be alone with her, ok?”.

Katya smiled softly, with as much energy as she could muster, moving to join Trixie on the queen sized bed, sitting cautiously with her back against the headboard next to the fragile girl.

“Change and refresh her flannel every ten minutes”. Reminded Alaska, slipping out of the door and giving Katya one last glance of sympathy as she did so.

*****

one could wish i fear this time she may not be as fortunate it was a miracle can you say wholeheartedly that you believe in second miracles?

you deserve to be alone with her *****

Love.

A foreign emotion to Katya, that was introduced by the most unique, understanding, cliché perfect person she had ever, in her opinion, had the pleasure of meeting.

Love.

She had never believed in such a thing before, having been a firm believer of not having to love your family unconditionally, and that you may choose your companions that you wish to surround yourself with in life

Love.

Watching as Trixie’s chest rose and fell unevenly with each breath, Katya shuffled closer to the younger girl, placing her arm tentatively across her waist and burying her head in the soft curls of Trixie’s luscious blonde locks.

“Please be ok”. Whispered Katya, Trixie’s hand twitching the smallest amount against her own.

“I love you”.

#trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #au #lesbian au #victorian au #star #rpdr fanfiction #submission #cold hands

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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But, I'm a Choir Girl? (Trixya)- thevortex (5/14)

But, I’m a Choir Girl? Part 5 of 14

Once they reached the communal bathroom, Trixie turned on Violet. “Who do you think you are? Telling Katya about what happened. How dare you? You know what happened so why are you lying?” “What happened was you came in and destroyed my relationship!” “How did I? I didn’t even know you existed until after it happened! She never mentioned you.” “Wait…she didn’t?” “No Violet.” Trixie lowered her voice, and her tone became softer, as the truth of the situation was coming to light. “She never said anything. I’m sorry. If I would have known before…yeah, I wouldn’t have gone there.” Violet slid to the floor, staring at nothing, tears slowly beginning to threaten their exit. “Could you tell me what actually happened?” “Are you sure?” Violet nodded, her black hair shaking around her. “She went to my school, she was a senior when i was a freshman. She asked me to model for her art, of course I said yes. She invited me to stay for dinner after school. I learned that she was, well, a lesbian. I didn’t even think it were possible. We spoke over dinner about it and it dawned on me that I also felt a similar way. I guess I didn’t want to accept that I was probably one too. We talked. She invited me to stay, so I called home and made up something. Her parents weren’t in. She didn’t have a spare room. I was stupid enough to ask her what lesbians do. And I guess she showed me.” Violet swallowed hard, the tears falling freely now. She nodded slowly. “Continue, please.” “Well we did that. I won’t go into detail. But I ended up staying the entire weekend. I met her mother, she was lovely. We kissed in secret and spent a lot of time alone in the bedroom, to put it lightly. But when we went back to school, I uh, she ignored me completely. Acted like I never existed. Like we never happened. After she graduated I found out that she had spread a rumour about me being a bit handsy with girls, so I shut myself off. I got a boyfriend, and I stuck to my very heterosexual illusion. She never told me about you, or anything. I swear I wouldn’t have done anything if I had known.” “It’s okay. I believe you. I’m sorry for being so mean to you. Pearl and I had a fight that week, because her back had scratch marks that clearly weren’t mine. She told me that she went out and she had been roofied, and that she couldn’t remember your name properly, something like Tracy Martel, and that she looked like a Barbie. I saw you, and I knew. You were the one. Also doesn’t help that I realised how beautiful you are and I don’t blame her. But now Katya’s moved to you, so I’m super bitter.” Violet smiled sadly up at Trixie.Trixie’s stomach twisted at the mention of Katya’s name. “What was that about Katya?” “Oh me and her were a thing on the sly until a few days ago. But looks like you’re her new hobby.” “It isn’t like that.” Trixie grimaced. “You can have her.” “No it’s okay. I need to get over myself.” Violet stood up and brushed herself off. She walked over to Trixie and reached around her shoulders to pull her into a hug. “Thank you Tracy.”Trixie smiled and hugged her back. Boy was I wrong to assume. She’s quite sweet.

Trixie was flicking through one of the few magazines she had managed to smuggle into Straight Horizons in her suitcase. She was tucked up in bed, the clock on the wall showing her that it was 23:40. She had just reached an interesting article on dermatology when a light knock disturbed her concentration. In a panic to be caught with the vaguely sapphic contraband, she stuffed it underneath a pillow, cursing at herself when she felt one of the pages tear. “Yes?” Her large door opened slowly, the light from the corridor filtering in, and a small shadow formed on her bedroom floor. “Privyet.” It was Katya. “Please may I come in.” “I guess so.” Katya walked in slowly, closing the door behind her, taking extra care to not make much noise. She stood awkwardly by the door, unable to meet Trixie’s eyes. “Are you going to sit?” Katya sat on the edge of Trixie’s bed, and Trixie noticed her composure was different to its usual chipper self. “Are you going to tell me why you’re here?” Trixie asked, still unable to shake the bitter tone from their last encounter. Katya looked up, sad eyes quickly crinkling at the edges, sparkling with delight as her hand flew over her mouth to stifle a laugh. “So your hairs are not naturally curly?” Katya giggled, and pointed at the ridiculous curlers that adorned Trixie’s hair. The other girl couldn’t help but laugh along. “Damn my secret’s out. Promise not to tell anyone?” “I promise, Barbie.” She shifted to face Trixie fully, folding her legs beneath her. “I wanted to ask if you are angry with me for talking with Violet about you. And if you are to say sorry.” “I’m not angry, don’t worry. I’m annoyed but not angry. Why were you talking about me?” “We, uh.” Katya gulped. “We were arguing. Because I stopped talking with her as much, then I talk with you more, so she mentioned Pearl, and to stay away from you.” “By talk, to you mean sex?” She asked. Trixie suddenly realised all that was between her and her surroundings was a satin nightdress that didn’t leave much to the imagination, especially as it was a cold night. “If that were true kukla, you are only girl here I have not talked to.” “So you want to talk to me?” “Yes.” Trixie felt a jolt of electricity shoot to her crotch. “But we barely know each other.” “Sorry I forgot to ask you to go for coffee date.” Katya deadpanned, and Trixie snorted in response. “No silly. What’s your name? Where are you from?” “You know my name, and where I am from, you are this silly one.” “Okay, do you live with your family?” Katya tensed at the seemingly innocent question. Trixie saw her jaw clench, and Katya stood up and left, without saying a word. Trixie sat there staring at the door and then to the interesting print left on her bed from where Katya had been.

Oh Katya.

The next day, Katya hadn’t said a word, not over breakfast, or lunch. Trixie kept mulling over their last conversation that they had had. She couldn’t quite figure what she had said that had caused Katya to cease her incessant rambling and laughing. Trixie never thought she’d admit it, she missed the sound of Katya and her “unwanted” company. They were in the communal space, where Trixie met them all for the first time. Katya sat in the chair farthest away from the door, and when Trixie came in, she noticed Katya’s eyes widen, but still fixated on a certain floorboard. Her stomach twisted in guilt and Katya gulped. Trixie was excited to finally see her family after what felt like far too long away from them. She sat down next to two empty chairs, allowing room for her Mother and Father. It wasn’t long before various adults were squashed in between various not-so-adult teenagers. Trixie glanced over to Katya. Jeez. The woman to Katya’s left was a short, pointed woman, with eyes narrow and piercingly blue. Her platinum blonde hair was combed up into a tight french twist, accentuating her harsh cheekbones and jawline. Her father had his brow furrowed, dark eyes skipping from face to face, clearly judging the younger people, a clear look of disgust painted across his harsh features. Trixie could now see how she was so stunning, they were a picture perfect family, if you ignored the cold looks and Katya’s clearly petrified face.

Wait. Shit.

It just clicked.

Mrs Edwards cleared her throat. “Now everyone, the core of Christian values is a strong family. Which is why we are all here today.” Trixie’s mother squeezed her shoulder. “We are here to discover our roots. Why have we morphed, and submitted to the sin of homosexuality? Studies show it is to do with upbringing, or social influences in general. Now-” At this point Trixie had zoned out. Her mind had started to wander. It had been so long since Pearl. Three years in fact. She had forgotten how good she made her feel, and just how wrong it felt, adrenaline coursing through her system in the fear that Pearl’s mother could walk in and find them wrapped up in each other at any moment. Skin like silk, and a mouth like chocolate, she was addicted to how she felt that weekend. Her mind ran over the memory, skipping to that one moment like a broken record. Only every time Pearl whispered in her ear, her voice changed, and every strangled moan escaping Trixie became more and more desperate, her body arching to meet the touch of the Russian above her. Katya.

“Beatrice?” “Oh huh? Sorry, off in my own world.” She wishes. “What do you think is at the root of your homosexuality?” “Uhm, well. I guess when Dad lost his job, he was more of the maternal figure in my life. Cooking and cleaning. Mother was always at work, I didn’t have much of a female presence.” Trixie said, almost mumbling in fear of publicly embarrassing her parents. Mr Mattel blushed and hung his head in shame. “I also had an interaction with a girl a few years ago.” All heads turned to stare at her, including Katya. “But I don’t want to talk about that.” “Good!” Mrs Edwards announced. “It’s good to feel shame about homosexual activities. This will keep them at bay. Now, Katya?” Katya looked up, looking weak and frightened. Trixie was shocked. Katya was always the epitome of happiness, bounding around, making crass jokes and being a bit too sexual. This wasn’t her. “I don’t know.” Katya’s voice shook. “Da, she does.” Her mother piped up. “Back when she lived in Russia, she knew one of these disgusting lesbians, and she took Yekaterina away from us. Taught her the ways of Devil. She comes back from her church camp a lesbian. Marks on her skin, talking back. It was disgraceful.” Katya couldn’t help but smirk. “No, it was fun.” Katya looked over at Trixie and winked, who turned away to face the front. “This is what we mean. What is point in sending Yekaterina to America to get better. It isn’t working.” Her father bellowed and stood up. “Come Svetlana. Our plane leaves soon. Yekaterina, know that when this has finished, if you are not cured, you have no home in Russia.” The bitter couple left without another word, leaving Katya in her seat, looking bewildered and not quite knowing what to do. Mrs Edwards felt that it was best to conclude the session there. Katya bolted for the door, and Trixie’s heart sank. Now she understood. Once she said good bye to her parents, Trixie followed the corridor to outside. The bitter cold hit her like a sack of bricks, her arms automatically shooting up to wrap around her. Her eyes scanned the greenery, looking for the Russian girl. Nothing stood out, just fields and trees as far as the eyes could see, including a few benches. She was about to turn around and go back inside when a puff of smoke emanated from behind a tree. Katya. Trixie walked over to find Katya hunched over herself, surrounded in cigarette butts. Trixie knelt down beside her. “Hey.” Trixie said softly. Katya nodded and continued to smoke, staring off into the distance. “I’m sorry about last night, I get it now.” “Do you? Do you get it?” Katya looked at Trixie, her eyes puffy and red from crying, clear mascara streaks visible on her high cheekbones. “Trixie, I see you with your loving family. You do not get it. I was forced here. I do not know America. My parents found me and a girl together. They lied in the meeting. They were on a business trip but came home early. They found me on the sofa screaming with my girlfriend’s face in my pussy.” Trixie blinked at Katya. She both wanted to laugh at her vulgarity and swoop her into a hug. But she also couldn’t help but notice a pang of jealousy at the word “girlfriend”. “I was forced to break up with her. My father beat me. My mother watched. I saw all love she had for me fade from her eyes. Russia is worse than America for gay people Trixie.” Katya sighed and looked down at her now burnt-out cigarette that lay delicately between her fingers. Trixie shuffled so that she was sitting next to her, and wrapped an arm around Katya’s waist, resting her head on the other’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for being so insensitive.” “It is okay. You couldn’t have known.” Katya’s hand moved to stroke the fingers that lay on her small waist, making Trixie’s stomach flutter. This wasn’t sexual, it wasn’t vulgar. It was plain, simple, and a little bit intimate. Trixie adjusted her grip to allow Katya’s fingers to slide between hers, holding each other in silence. Trixie kissed the ivory skin of Katya’s shoulder that was showing through her top. Katya pulled away, looking at Trixie with a confused expression. “Why are you doing this?” “Uh I’m sorry.” Trixie shrugged. “I thought it was appropriate. For comfort.” “You think kissing is comforting?” “If it’s from the right person, yes.” “You think you are right person for me?” Trixie shifted awkwardly. “I don’t know.” “Then why did you kiss me?” “I didn’t!” Trixie suddenly got defensive. “I kissed your shoulder. Completely platonic.” “Of course Barbie, I believe you.” Katya huffed sarcastically. “Alright then fine! Kiss me! See what good it does, see how comforting I am the-” Trixie’s irritated rambling was cut off by a soft pair of lips being placed gently on hers. She blinked wildly and stared at Katya, whose eyes were closed. The kiss itself was so gentle, and almost subtle. Trixie couldn’t help but let her eyes fall shut as she deepened the kiss. Her hand raised to cup Katya’s cheek, but before her hand could brush her skin, Katya pulled away. Trixie opened her eyes to see the moon reflecting off Katya’s, the light pooling in the green of her eyes, setting them ablaze with spots of silver. She scanned her face, looking for any hint as to how Katya was feeling. Her eyes flitted down to her mouth to find Katya’s plump bottom lip sitting perfectly between her teeth in a way that made Trixie’s breathing deepen. They sat like that, staring at each other, for what seemed like hours, investigating every detail of the other’s face. Katya smiled as she tried to count the freckles, and for a while she couldn’t take her gaze away from Trixie’s lips; so perfect and doll-like. It was only when Trixie spoke that she moved her eyes to look back up at Trixie’s. “Katya…” Trixie whispered. “Da, malysh?” “Could you do that again?” “Yes.” Katya’s voice was barely above a breath when she moved in for the second time, their lips connecting once more.

#trixya #angst #thevortex #but i'm a choir girl #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #rpdr fanfiction #submission #lesbian au #high school au #historical au #1960s au

64 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 7 years

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But, I'm a Choir Girl? (Trixya)-thevortex (4/14)

But, I’m a Choir Girl? part 4 of 14

A sentence that Trixie had never once heard in her own voice before rang in her ears like the aftershock of a gun being fired right behind her, and it hurt her almost as much. For any girl, coming to terms with the fact that you have an illness as socially debilitating and taboo as homosexuality, it was going to be difficult. She tried to hold it in, but she couldn’t. Boy, must I look like a fusspot. Trixie thought, as the sobs shook through her, taking over her body as her tears made delicate stains on the satin of her skirt. Mrs Edwards seemingly had no sympathy for the poor girl, however looks of understanding came from every one of the patients, except from Violet. Courtney approached Trixie, and knelt beside her. She took Trixie’s hands into her own, gaining a disapproving look from Mrs Edwards. “It’ll be okay Trixie. I promise. You’ll be right as rain in no time. How about I show you around, and maybe take you to your room? Would that help?” “You’re a real sweet heart, you know that?” “I may have been told once or twice.” Courtney winked at her fellow barbie-look-alike. “But that’s how I ended up in here so no more of that. Let’s go.”

Trixie stood up, and waved a timid good-bye to the group before following Courtney out of the room. She was glad to leave that room behind her, hopefully it would keep the echoes of her damnation within its walls, and that’s where it would stay.

Courtney led Trixie along the corridor, explaining that this ground floor was the medical floor. Therefore meaning it was responsible for visual-key shocking, electro-convulsion therapy, flooding and medical aversion. “All this happens here? I thought it was all crazy-talk!” Trixie exclaimed in a timid voice. “We’re the crazy ones here remember. But yes it all happens. I’m lucky to not have had ECT, but it does happen. Poor Davis gets it the worst.” “Why?” “Have you seen him?” “Oh.” Trixie’s stomach churned at the thought. On that note, she did recall seeing a reddish tinge to his temples when he introduced himself. *Poor thing.* “They’re all down here because it can get quite noisy, ironic that the chapel is down here too. Recreation, dining and counselling is on the first floor, and second floor is accommodation. Let’s head there. That’s sure to lighten you up a bit.”

Trixie’s room was a horrendous shade of pink, with various pastels jumping out at you from every angle around the room. She was surprised at how luxury it was. The bed was of a generous size, with plush pink pillows adorning it. She understood that this was completely to enforce gender roles, but this was like a domestic wet dream for her. “This is beautiful.” “I thought you’d like it! You seem like a girl who was lucky enough to have a few of those fancy new Barbie dolls in your trunk, so you’ll get comfy in no time.” “Whatever gave that away?” Trixie giggled, fluttering her eyelashes and flipping her blonde curls off her shoulder flamboyantly. Courtney laughed, rolling her eyes. “Looks like Ru brought up your bags, I’ll let you settle in, someone will come by to take you to dinner.” Courtney turned to leave, but stopped at the doorway, turning once again to face Trixie. “It isn’t too bad here. Not quite a hospital, not quite summer camp either. Just behave, and you won’t get it too bad.”

With that, Courtney left, closing the door behind her. The click of it shutting felt like a metaphorical shutting off from the rest of the world. Trixie sat down on her bed, and looked out the window. Although the rain had ceased, a few droplets still scattered the glass, distorting her view to the lush greenery outside. How did I get into this mess? Trixie understood that how she felt towards other girls wasn’t exactly normal, she simply blamed it on being a bit over sensitive. Although that didn’t explain what happened with-

Trixie’s thoughts were ripped away from her when a sharp knock echoed through her room. She shuffled over to the door, and opened it to reveal the intruder to be… “I’ve been told to get you for supper.” A cold, cutting tone, with a glare to match it took Trixie aback, but brushed it off. “Neato. Lead the way!” Violet sighed at Trixie forced chirpiness. This girl had a real bee in her bonnet about Trixie, and she couldn’t think of why.

The dining hall was modestly sized, although not many people were in it, only those she had met before, and she assumed resident psychiatrists. She decided to take her place next to Courtney, she felt it was best to stick with someone who she felt actually got along with her. Trixie was pleased to find that Courtney was also a vegetarian, so they both had asparagus roll-ups, everyone else had some kind of stew. Curious, there’s an extra plate here. Oh well. They all joined hands and closed their eyes and Mrs Edwards stood to say Grace. “Bless us, O Lord, and the meal we are about to-” “Sorry!” A blur of red and yellow came whizzing into the hall, cutting off Mrs Edwards, making a few people chuckle under their breaths. Trixie opened her eyes to take a peek. Of course. Katya.

“Good shower?” Courtney asked. “Thrilling.” Katya winked at Trixie as she took a mouthful of stew. “What?” “You don’t want to know.” Courtney stated, making Katya wheeze and flail her limbs. Trixie blushed furiously, and tried her damndest to focus solely on the pastry in front of her. “Shto eto, Barbie?” Her thick accent caused Trixie’s thighs to squeeze together. “Someone ruffle pretty birdie’s feathers?” “Katherine, stop flirting.” Courtney warned Katya. “Oh, Trixie?” “Mhm?” “Do you know Violet? She hasn’t stopped staring at you since you walked in.” “Uh.” Trixie glanced to Violet where, sure enough, she was receiving a look from Satan’s baby. “No I don’t actually.” She felt incredibly uncomfortable. The two most beautiful girls Trixie had ever seen were both giving her attention, some unwanted, some reluctantly wanted. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around it all. “So, Tracy.” Katya leaned over the table. “How many girls have you fucked?” “KATYA!” Courtney seethed through gritted teeth, and placed a hand on Trixie’s, whose face was now verging on the same shade as Katya’s lipstick. “Although look at her, you think she does the fucking?” “Now that you mention it.” Katya cocked her head and gave Trixie a once over. “We’re here to not do gay things, so I’d rather keep my sex life out of this.” “Oh so there is a sex life!” Katya’s eyes widened in delight and drummed her fingers on the table, mere inches away from Trixie’s. Trixie bit her lip and averted eye contact. “I’m guessing you’re not interested in the boy part, huh?” Katya was grinning from ear to ear as she shook her head. “There was this one girl…” “Okay, I’m interested now.” Courtney rested her chin on her hands and looked intently at Trixie. “Do go on.” “Did she make your heart flutter?” Katya’s foot begun to stroke at Trixie’s exposed ankle, and smirked when she noticed a colour rise to tinge her freckled cheeks. “Does she make you think-” She mock gasps. “-unspeakable things.” “Katya…” Trixie meant her words to come out strong, but instead they came out low and shaky. “What? I’m not doing anything lil’ miss straight.” Katya’s foot stroked up her calf. “I-I need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” Trixie excused herself from the table and abruptly left. “What were you doing Katya?” Courtney kicked her under the table. “Just because you’ve fucked every girl in this place doesn’t mean you need to do her too.” “No harm in trying.” Katya winked at Courtney and stood up to leave.

Trixie splashed cold water on her face, and stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were still puffy and red from all of her crying, however somehow her makeup was mostly intact. The door opened, and the reflection in the mirror proved it to be the one person Trixie either did not want to see, or the only person she wants to see. She couldn’t quite decide. “Privyet kukla.” Trixie turned around and wiped a drop of water off of her chin. “Getting wet without me? How rude.” “Katya, I’m straight.” “Proof is in the pudding, and I don’t think you can bake.” “I have a boyfriend.” “Da.” Katya stepped forward, and Trixie stepped backwards, bashing into the sink. Despite the fact that Trixie was a good two inches taller than Katya, she somehow felt so tiny under her gaze. Katya arched herself over Trixie, hardly touching, and she whispered in her ear, “and I’m Queen of England.” “Am I interrupting something?” A flat voice resonated off the ceramic tiles. Katya jerked her head around so fast, Trixie swore it could’ve flown off. “I could’ve guessed it would’ve been you Trixie Mattel.” “What do you mean?” Katya took a step away. “You’re just so good at getting yourselves into situations where you’re not welcome.” “Listen Violet, I have nothing against you.” Violet scoffed, and Katya looked really awkward, eyes darting between the two girls. “I honestly haven’t the foggiest as to what you’re on about.” “Pearl.” Oh. “You’re…” “Yep.” Violet glanced over to Katya. “Watch this one. She likes to play dirty.” Violet left, leaving the other two in a shocked silence. “What did she mean?” “Nothing. Just leave me alone.” Trixie spat, before she marched out towards her room.

The next day Trixie woke up with a start. “Lord! I’m going to be late!” She flew out of bed before she realised. She wasn’t at home. There was no final performance. She had no solo. She was here.

What a glorious start to the day, with the looming dread of facing Violet and knowing that she wasn’t able to do what she felt she was born to do.

She spent breakfast in silence, not making eye contact with anybody, a small rage running in her veins. *How could I have let this happen? It was a stupid mistake.* She sighed, and walked over to the communal area, where Mrs Edwards was leading a session on fulfilling gender roles. “So everyone, find a partner.” To Trixie’s dismay, Katya chose her, a guilt beginning to cloud her mind as she remembered how badly she treated Katya yesterday.

Katya and Trixie worked together in silence, taking it in turns to iron and fold clothes. “You’re good with your hands Trixie.” Katya remarked, causing Trixie to blush furiously; a habit she seemed to be developing. “You need to stop that, we’re here to get better, not tempt each other.” “So I’m tempting you?” “Oh please, you wish.” She threw the girl a dark look. “Let me guess, is it my hair? No. Okay, is it my dazzling smile?” Katya grinned and Trixie simply laughed bitterly, continuing to iron out a few creases on a shirt. “Is it my exotic accent.” Trixie’s jaw clenched. “Oh good, I’ve figured it out. Trixie Mattel likes the Russians.” “No!” Trixie yelled, resulting in a few stares from the other patients. “Don’t flatter yourself.” “You’re being difficult.” “You don’t say.” “You don’t like me do you?” “Not in the slightest.” “Oooh.” Katya raised her hand to her forehead. “You wound me.” “Good.” Trixie was beginning to get wound up. Her defences were rising, and she couldn’t be sure as to why.

Of course, Katya sat next to Trixie at dinner, causing Trixie to sigh and roll her eyes, shuffling an inch or two away from the other. “You have real problem with me, don’t you kukla?” “Oh Gosh! What ever gave that away?” Trixie’s voice was dark and sarcastic, a complete contrast to the Trixie Katya first met. But something broke that. Katya’s hand slipped into Trixie’s under the table. “I know it’s not me. What’s wrong?” Trixie was shocked. How did she know? She went to pull away, but something stopped her. Looking around, no one was staring, they were all too busy eating their dinner. This was okay. Still, Trixie struggled to conjure a reply to Katya’s question. “Let me guess. You are model student, da? Never got a grade lower than B. You have wonderful boyfriend that just doesn’t make your clam clammer like your friends say their boyfriends do. You like to look at girl in your class a bit more than other girls do. You like the way her blouse looks, or her skirt, or her eyes. You say to me, ‘But Katya! You must be a crazy person! Every girl does that!’ The answer is, Barbie, nyet. No. They do not. You are lesbian. I am lesbian. All girls here are lesbian. This is too difficult for your pretty little head to understand because mama and papa are the Christians, so homosexual is not good. You were perfect daughter. This is, how Americans say…tough toenails. Now what? You push away those who want to help you. You would prefer to have people who do not like this lesbian Trixie near you and loving you, and not the ones-” Katya squeezes her hand, “-who accept who you are.” “But being gay isn’t good! God didn’t make me this way.” “Let me tell you secret kushka. God is like the Saint Nikolas, the tooth fairy, and Easter rabbit.” Trixie giggled. “Doesn’t exist. It is lie to scare you into being what society deems as good. If people think gay is normal, then gay would be okay. But people don’t, so it is not. That is what your God does. This is not good Trixie. You were born lesbian. You love all of these pinks and flowers and pretty music. You like to sing? This is not what textbook lesbian is looking like. Da? You were born this way. There is no fixing science.” “So how will I ever get out?” “We will plan our escapes!” Trixie threw her head back and laughed, enjoying both Katya’s naive comments and her appalling language skills. “Okay, and how do you expect us to do that, Captain Katya?” “I like this Captain Katya.” Katya wiggled her eyebrows and stuck her tongue out. “You’re so strange.” “And so are you! With all your yellows and pinks. I prefer red. But! To escape you must come to my room tonight! And I will show you what we are to do.” “I don’t think that’s going to happen, I know your game.” Trixie sighed and took her hand away. “I thought you really got it for a second.” “What are you saying? My game? I thought you were the one for sleeping on the sly.” Trixie whipped around to fully face Katya, the fire in her eyes making Katya flinch. “What…did you just say?” “Uh-I…” “Violet.” Trixie seethed, she got up from her seat and stormed over to Violet, who was prodding a potato with her fork. “Can I help you, home-wrecker?” “I think we need to talk, don’t you?”

#trixya #thevortex #but i'm a choir girl #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #courtney act #violet chachki #angst #rpdr fanfiction #submission #high school au #lesbian au #historical au #1960s au

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artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

CuntCracker Chpt 2 (trixya- lesbain ballet au) - pastelcholita

AN - Hello kids! Sorry I’m late, but here’s the new chapter. Enjoy!

Warning for language and crass humour

Katya’s POV

My hand pushed down on the plastic lever, the soft trickling of individual cereals thudding against the styrofoam bowl situated on the plate under the slot. That day had been a considerably dreary day. I had planned to go on a walk before rehearsals, but the dense fog accumulated outside the warm campus seemed eerie. It had also been one of those days where your soul was clouded with a longing for a paternal, yet sensual, relationship; strictly no strings attached, if ya know what I mean.

I removed the bowl from the dark surface, and I moved to my usual table in the cafeteria. Violet, Willam, and Courtney sat in the according chairs, engaged in some odd conversation regarding the lagoon ducks in Central Park.

“Some guy can’t just pick the ducks up in a van, can he? That’s just not ethical?” Courtney asked, searching the other girls faces for an answer. She smiled when she met my gaze. “Oh, hi, Katya! We were just discussing the ducks, ya know the ones in the lagoon?”

“I see…” I trailed off. My mind couldn’t really settle on any one topic, for some reason I had not quite identified.

“No, you idiot, some guy couldn’t just shove them in the back of his pedo van,” Willam added, and had earned a chuckle from Violet.

“She’s right Court. Well about the van at least. They probably just migrate, it’s their nature. Like the fish, they just adapt, I guess,” Vi suggested. I didn’t necessarily agree with any of them, but I just contently stirred my Froot Loops. I didn’t want to admit it, but since auditions I couldn’t seem to get Trixie out of my mind. It was silly and trivial, and I knew it. Trixie was full of potential and still young, like a little pink firecracker. I was simply a jaded ballerina with callused feet. Boy did I sound yellow.

I excused myself to toss my soggy Loops and grab a cup of coffee on the way back. I was staring deep into my coffee, examining each bubble that rose to the top and migrated to the outer edge. Stupid move, I concur. In the process of making my way back to my previously claimed seat, I managed to ram into somebody, splashing my boiling beverage all over their clothes.

“Hey, watch it, you- Katya?” a sharp voice snapped from in front of me.

“Mishka, I am so sorry. Let me help you clean up.” Why did I have to spill my coffee all over Trixie, goddamnit. That day was just determined to be one of the most unfortunate days of my life.

We had hurriedly sauntered over to the paper towel dispenser dabbing her white - might I mention satin - nightie with the paper that seemed to be doing nothing.

“It’s really fine. I have more clothes back in my dorm,” she comforted. I was up to the tops of my ears in guilt.

“Leave it to me to ruin such a pretty dress with coffee,” I spat the word out like it was poison. Trixie laughed at my foolishness. “They don’t call me Cunt-ya for nothing.”

“Who the hell calls you that,” she thrashed.

“That’s King Cunt-ya to you. Well I’ve already messed on you, the least I can do is invite you back to my kingdom,” I remarked overly cheesily, extending my forearm to her. She crossed her own arm under mine, in a square-dance-esque fashion. We walked across the cafeteria like that, occasionally side stepping or shuffling, even adding a few twirls in ever so often.

When we had arrived, I pulled a chair from the adjacent table. “Your chair, m’lady,” I uttered in my most dapper tone.

“Why thank you, kind lady,” Trixie offered. That was probably what I adored most about her; her ability to play along and bounce back with a statement equally as funny. Boy, was I falling for her quick.

We chewed the fat with the other girls for a while, collectively concluding that the ducks probably flew down to somewhere like Florida. Then Courtney went on a tangent on what the fish did when the lake froze over. Trixie shifted forward onto her arms, and let out a guttural yawn.

“Wanna head back to my dorm, sleeping beauty?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I stayed up late in the studio with Missus Davenport practicing aerials and stuff,” Trixie groggily answered. Trixie and I said our goodbyes, parting ways with the other dancers. En route to my dorm, Trixie suggested we stop by her room to get something comfy - and not soiled with coffee - to wear.

She opened the door to her dorm and it was like the both of us were spontaneously transported to a Mattel interpretation of Narnia. Pink pearls had been draped over the curtain rod, creating an illusion of fresh pink snow tendrils fallen from the roofs. Fluffy pink scarves adorned the bed rails, acting as floral tassels to the overstuffed bed. It was truly a spectacular sight, in my eyes of course.

“Kotehok, I greatly appreciate your creative integrity, but why so much pink?”

“Oh, well you see,” Trixie explained while she rummaged through a pile of laundry, “it’s my fantasy.” She craned her neck around to smirk at me from her seated spot on the floor. We exchanged a giggled before she had turned back to sort through the clothes.

I gradually migrate to the bed, plopping down comfortably on the frilly pile of blankets that I had assumed accumulated over the course of a few months. Suddenly, an insurmountable urge to lay my haphazard mane of waves down upon the sea of peachy fluff had overcame me, so I did just that. I slid down onto my back, disappearing like a small child. I began to quietly whisper a tune, quite dorkily actually, now that I think about it…

Trixie’s POV

“-Eka-trina Petrov-a Zamolod-ikova, -ut your da- ju-t calls me…Katya.”

I scaned the room quickly, my eyes darted around the room only to have found two boney feet emerged from a puddle of cushion atop my mattress.

“You rotted cunt,” I laughed. Katya’s head popped up from under a faux pelt. “What are you mumbling this time?”

“You know, the usual, just summoning satan to come have sexual intercourse with my decrepit, senile, womanly body,” she massaged her hands over her core, reaching up and pushing up her ample breasts. She concluded this statement with an assembly of wheezes and flailing arms.

Katya exploded off of the bed, landing in fourth position. “Yekatrina.” She transferred her weight onto her forward foot, lunging into it. “Petrovna.” Katya extended onto releve, releasing the tension built up from her back leg and turning a la second. “Zamolodchikova.” Yekatrina planted her back foot and raised her hands up to her face, almost shielding herself. “But your dad just calls me.” She waggled her fingers about, drawing her hands away from her face. “Katya.”

My mouth dropped open and I wildly clapped my hands “Encore, encore!” Katya rolled down to the floor and planted herself beside me. She reached at my forearm, grasping onto it, leaning into my body. A sort of - how do I explain this without sounding overly gushy and sappy - wave of goosebumps and electricity washed down my back and cusped around my toes. I laughed along with Katya and tried to mask my subconscious shiver.

“What time does practice start anyway?” a voice I had never encountered before questioned.

“Wait, you’re not Russian?”

“Yeah, I mean I’m from Boston,” a new accent coated Katya’s voice.

“Seriously, though,” I deadpanned, “where in the hell are you from?”

“I’m really from Boston. My mother is Russian, hence ‘Yekatrina Petrovna Zamolodchikova.’”

“Ah… It’s in like an hour and a half, around ten I think.”

Katya rested her head on my shoulder. The tenseness slowly began to uncoil and I settled into the half-embrace as well. I pulled my phone down from the countertop that we were situated against, scrolling through twitter with my unoccupied hand. Katya had begun to softly stroke my hair, mumbling something that sounded like, “Good kot,” but I’m still not too sure. I scrolled down to a video of a ballerina from Joffrey absolutely eating shit on stage that Pearl retweeted. I moved to show Katya the video, sure that she would have a heart attack watching it, only to realize that she was gingerly snoring, mouth slightly agape, with her head nestled into the crook of my neck. It was nearly time to start getting dressed in our leotards and sew our pointe shoes for practice, but Katya just looked so fuckin’ precious all curled up. I found myself wishing that this wasn’t going to be a one-time deal. I tried to pry this thought from my head, but it had buried itself deep inside the back of my cranium. I guessed it was going to stay there for a few days before I adjusted to Katya’s strange version of friendship, but boy was I wrong.

#cuntcracker #trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #pastelcholita #dancer au #lesbian au #rpdr fanfiction #submission

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