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#also yes felix is a girl she just has a masculine name
ace-the-fox · 2 years
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Juangarde is a thing? What a weird ship. It would be a shame if I were to make fankids--
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Whoopsy-Daisies 🤪
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suffarustuffaru · 10 months
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so @alderamiin said subaru for the ask…. yes your ask was the one i deleted on accident whoops 😭😭 BUT HERE WE GO I MADE SURE TO REMEMBER TO DO YOURS WKDNDN (and i LOVE subaru fr i simply could not skip over him also) (pls expect my usual chaotic rambling im so sorry i really am overusing the caps button 😳😭😭)
Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual 👍 subaru being somewhere on the ace spectrum isnt a super strong headcanon of mine compared to the bisexual hc but i am still fond of it <33 bc i do tend to just hc him as bisexual but i suppose i could kind of see it <33 :DD !!
Gender Headcanon: subaru is literally, as we’ve all discussed, like EVERY letter of lgbtq+ i swear. like natsumi EXPLICITLY being stated to be his ideal self….. what cisgender boy has his ideal version of himself be a woman…. come on….. and hes been like. dressing and trying to pass as a girl for his crossdressing pre-isekai too. like subarus Practiced A Lot at this. subaru clearly enjoys doing this and he was crushed when he couldnt pass bc of his voice pre-isekai :(( AND LIKE subaru and his complex relationship to masculinity and feeling insecure in his own skin like……………… and then natsumi being his ideal self…… natsumi being the Heroine……….. and its like. subaru clearly has a case of “do i want to be them or be With Them” when it comes to men hes attracted to (most notably julius.) so like. it could apply to women too. like. and then the way subaru reacts to felix’s presentation too………. i just think it says a lot. i dont care what tappei says but he wrote all this shit in the text fr!!! and also in general. natsuki subaru being a gender neutral name…. same with natsumi schwartz… so yes genderqueer subaru for the win. i personally hc subaru as genderfluid or bigender!! and also like. subaru being Very LGBTQ+ is so in line with rezero’s themes of self love and self improvement and self discovery and Identity. i think it hits so much harder if subaru Is lgbtq+ versus if he was just insecure straight cis man. like no wonder subaru was struggling Even More. hes so so far in the closet and struggling with like the internal homophobia and shit fr :(((
that and 1. subaru being lgbt is such a great subversion of what you would think when you first meet his character. and also a subversion of ur typical isekai protag which ADDS to rezeros subversion of isekai in general and 2. i love making Certain People mad with these hcs. like its so supported by the text the only thing missing is explicit confirmation. which. i have my doubts with tappei on that but iirc he DID say he nearly wrote a lust if with the guys…. tappei. come on. you already explicitly said that natsumi is subarus ideal self.
A ship I have with said character: im very open to most subaru ships!!! i just love a lot of them—reinsuba, ottosuba, emisuba, remsuba, julisuba… i just like how each kind of dynamic with subaru has so much range like even in just main route alone?? and then you factor in the ifs and it gets So Interesting. theres so much history with each pairing and so much to explore, whether its platonic or romantic. and subaru has a LOT of love in his heart.
i just like each pairing for different reasons hah—like ok ive talked a lot about reinsuba and emisuba already in other asks so. i DO like remsuba okay. not in the sense that i want it to be the endgame ship in main route bc thats very much not happening and i would prefer The Most Detailed emisuba development of all time. which would be more thematically relevant <3 but i DO ADORE remsubas relationship in general. like its so so complicated??? like. yeah theres the conflict in arc 2. theres the conflict in arc 7 with her waking up and being different and being so mean to him about natsumi :((( theres her “youre my hero” versus “youre not a hero” WHICH. URHGHF ITS SO GOOD….. and like yeah remsuba really do be. iffy. in terms of how healthy it is. but its so complicated bc you also have rem being like—she was like the first person, narratively, to be willing to DIE to save subaru the exact way he does for other people (including rem). and then the famous from zero scene in season one which is a MASTERPIECE but i hate how people fixate on “i love emilia” LIKE REM IS HAPPY FOR SUBARU. SHE IS HAPPY AS LONG AS HE IS. EVEN IF HE DOESNT LIKE HER BACK. but also he did like her back romantically for a time. and also of course rem had her fixation on subaru :(( subaru had his own obsession for emilia while rem had hers for subaru pre-being gluttonyed?? :(( yeah like. remsuba being so complicated is so interesting to me. like she and subaru are very passionate people yes. but also they do need to learn to tone it down sometimes you know? REM ESPECIALLY TOO BECAUSE EVEN AFTER SHE STOPS BEING MURDERY TOWARDS HIM… FOR EXAMPLE IN SEASON ONE SHE WOULD CANONICALLY GO TO HIS ROOM IN THE MORNING AND WAIT FOR HIM TO WAKE UP…. like she'd just sit there at his bedside and Stare at him... like girl chill a bit its okay T^T i havent read sloth if. but it seems like they learned to mellow out and have a happy life T^T apart from. a shit ton of people dying in the background and also subaru dying of old age and resetting back to arc 3. i am interested to see if we’ll get further remsuba closure in arc 8 yes. but also im bonking subaru on the head in arc 7 for saying even REM TORTURING HIM was a fond memory. pls let this be addressed again later i swear sodndn.
ok also julisuba and ottosuba. i am no expert on julisuba but on the other hand i have analyzed Too Much Ottosuba so perhaps i am an expert there wodndn. but YEAH i love those ships. they have so much history and moments between them and they are. definitely the more Explicit evidence of subaru being bi (between subarus Interest in julius and reid calling julisuba boyfriends and SUBARUS INTEREST IN JULIUS... vs ottosuba repeatedly being like “omg do you Like Like me?” “NO I DONT SHUT UP” and also their continued divorce arc dynamics yep). but also i will say i really like ottosuba because specifically they are the subaru pairing where theyre like. Very Much Closer To Being Equals. if theyre not already equals in something. like in terms of power levels and intellect and their very loving families and previous inability to fit in or be believed by people and also their status in the narrative as Being Just A Guy in comparison to everyone else. and yet ottosuba are the MOST important members to their camp for their jobs—subaru keeps everyone alive, and otto handles All the politics, which we see over and over again. they are literally THE power duo. otto is so so important too as the second person to die FOR subaru the same way subarus died for others. like the paralleling of otto pushing subaru out of the way when the white whale drove otto insane (and later otto tried to go back for subaru once he regained his senses ;-;;;) versus otto pushing subaru out of the way so he didnt get killed by garf ;-;;;;;. and otto being the second person after rem to also give subaru an EXTREMELY IMPORTANT speech to him (otto-rem parallels...???) <33 except ottosuba also foil a lot bc of their Different Morals. but theyre both stubborn as hell and have a tendency to go off and do shit they think is best without telling anyone bc theyre too deadset (hah) on what THEY think. (OTTO. SPENDING A WHOLE YEAR SECRETLY GETTING THE BOOK OF WISDOM AND HAVING IT RESTORED?? HELLO???) anyway yeah ill stop right here bc i have So Much ottosuba posts on this damn blog wkdndn but i really do think the appeal of ottosuba is that they Are on a more even playing ground. and their morality flipflops sometimes. ottos issues are just more lowkey than subarus widndnd. i am. however. nervous about all the ottosuba and vincent-chisha parallels in arc 8 bc………. possible otto perma death on the horizon??? 😭😭😭😭 itd CRUSH subaru.
also of course the similar flavors of julisuba and ottosuba….. u can have ur tsundere x tsundere ships in TWO DIFFERENT FONTS. anyway ill become a julius lore expert someday i promise.
A BROTP I have with said character: BROTP ottosuba and ramsuba are so so funny and great wofndn but special shoutout to garf and subaru in particular!!! i think its interesting how far their relationship has come bc they had a VERY rough start and its like. 1. im sure garf would immediately regret going into a rage and killing a shit ton of people in that One Failed Loop and 2. we learn garf is a traumatized fourteen year old whos been trying so hard to take care of the demihumans inside sanctuary while his sister and mom left him, one way or another, and hes very afraid of the outside world. and its like YEAH now your behavior makes sense. and its so good to see garfs growth and also his growth in his relationship with subaru (and otto) bc he looks up to subaru sm!!! subaru helped garf so much T^T theyre brothers guys 😭😭 i think its so adorable and so sweet. ill defend garf all day everyday. garf 🤝 subaru with their DAMN hero complexes while otto tries to keep them both on a leash so they dont do stupid shit. subaru IS a good role model for garf though ill say that. subaru tries so hard to be a good role model wkdndn. and yes i always laugh when garf teases subaru for drawing doodles and writing encouraging things for emilia in the temple.
A NOTP I have with said character: okay so. maybe i will spill some tea here. hah so i went over in ram’s ask how i think ramsuba in wrath if is actually super interesting widndns but otherwise ramsuba to me is bland. which. i also just feel like subaru/crusch and subaru/ana and subaru/priscilla are also bland. like. i dont think theyll ever feel interesting to me akdndn. like theres not. as much to work off of imo. like i just dont think theyre a good match romantically at all. like At All. priscilla especially LMAO…. and im tired of people reducing women in the story to just boobs and being fucked by subaru 😭😭😭 like i dont have anything against those subaru ships, my biggest notp is just seeing a bunch of characters be butchered just to have subaru have sex with various women. 😭😭 obviously not everyone in the fandom does that but i see this happens the most with priscilla fr. pls. shes more than just boobs :(((
anyway. my other notp is like. echidna/subaru but like. i feel similarly to ram/roswaal on this where its like. theres a potential there to show a nuanced complex toxic relationship bc THAT IS what echidna/subaru are. even more so in greed if. like theyve spent an UNGODLY amount of time together like their relationship is so fucked. like god the amount of details that were added to their dynamic in the greed if ln makes me go INSANE….. like you know how echidna said that subaru could use her body with this contract?? what she ALSO really meant was HEY SUBARU YOU CAN KILL ME IF YOU WANT. ILL JUST COME BACK BC WE ALWAYS MEET IN A DREAM WORLD AND THERES NO CONSEQUENCES BUT ITLL FEEL REAL TO YOU. LIKE HOLY FUCK FR 😭😭 and like in generally reading through greed if ln is a Trip alright. like “no yeah duh of course it is, suffaru, its GREED IF” but LISTEN……. echidna being subarus weird mother figure and then like. idk there are obvious implications i feel from like the body fluid tea and then echidna being like “you can use my body” and then theres a moment where she puts his hand on her chest and yeah its to feel her heart but LIKE…. SOMETHING ABOUT THAT SCENE FELT LIKE. SOMETHING. TO ME. AND THEN SHES SO OBSESSED WITH HIM AND HES DEPENDENT ON HER LIKE JESUS ITS A MESS. ITS LIKE HOW SHE WAS WITH OG ROSWAAL. GOD. *puts my head in my hands*
anyway my real notp is like. depicting echidna/subaru like it is a Healthy Thing like no it is not 😭😭😭😭 it never was healthy and it literally never will be unless ur changing echidnas character drastically. if ur gonna show off echidna/subaru then they are gonna be SO RANCID in like every way possible there is no other correct way to write them. she is terrible for him. she literally saw him and went “i can make him worse” and then it happened. bc greed if subaru is a Terrible Person. like. its not even a question. the biggest example i can think of rn other than obvious Rbd use is KEEPING MEILI. A CHILD. HOSTAGE AND LOCKED UP IN ORDER TO USE ELSA. HER OLDER SISTER FIGURE. JEEZ. my biggest notp of all time is treating unhealthy relationships as if they Arent unhealthy.
MY OTHER BIGGEST NOTP OF ALL TIME FOR ANYTHING IS SHIPPING A CHILD AND AN OLDER PERSON TOGETHER. subaru/petra SHOULD BE AN OBVIOUS NOTP BUT SURE DOESNT FEEL LIKE IT SOMETIMES….. guys she is a child. come on. hes seventeen and shes TWELVE. GUYS…. and then theres tappei making iirc an ACTUAL petra if????? and idk what the content in petra if is exactly but i worry given tappeis track record with the child characters sometimes 😭😭 AND THEN PETRA BEING IN LUST IF. TAPPEI…… N-NOTHING HAPPENS, RIGHT? *EXPLODES WITH RAGE*. even if petra and subaru get together later when theyre Older Adults in some AU or something its like. subaru knew her when she was a young child. and she had a crush on him then. um. personally idk if im fully comfortable with that hah T^T
A random headcanon: GONNA TALK ABOUT WRATH IF. anyway so the wrath if divergence point is that subaru gets beatrice to teleport him away and ram chases him down, ram tries to strangle him to death but fails, he smashes her head with a rock. yes. BUT OKAY when u watch the anime. beatrice comes for his aid AFTER subaru gets to the cliff and tries to psych himself up to like. jump off to save rem and stuff. THEREFORE wrath if subaru still considered trying to rbd via jumping off that cliff. he just decided not to and agreed to have beatrice teleport him away. this is something not many people seem to mention or maybe even notice (??) but I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT…. :((
General Opinion over said character: i LOVE SUBARU WITH MY WHOLE BEING. he is my absolute favorite anime character of all time. his character arc is so chaotic and complicated and i think the way he Does like still struggle with the same Inner Conflicts is so so much more realistic. recovery and self improvement are NOT linear and he shows that perfectly. and i hate how much people misread subaru T^T the whole chadbaru trend in fandom of how he should get harems or how he should leave everyone or be terrible to emilia for *insert a long list of Terrible reasons here* is so. like did we all read and watch the same damn story or what hah. the whole point of rezero is LOVE ITSELF….. and subaru ultimately has a lot of love for so many people around him. though of course i do worry for how rbd reveal is going to be handled, and im not entirely sure how to feel about subarus arc 7 development atm. rbd reveal is gonna have catastrophic consequences for Everyone. like everyone hes ever been close to finding out hes died a shit ton of times to save him?? that so many of them have like. maimed and killed him or at least Tried To Do That? like HOW are we gonna get a happy ending out of all of this—hows tappei gonna handle this?? 😭😭 i worry sometimes that when rbd reveal happens it wont be nuanced or itll gloss over certain things or it just. wont be so satisfying. bc u have arc 7 subaru out here with SUICIDE PILLS……. ARC 7 SUBARU IN REPEATED INSANE DEATH LOOPS AS A CHILD….. how are we gonna come back from this?? 😭😭 i have my doubts sometimes but tappei loves insane character development for subaru so i suppose i will hope. i just wish for all the trauma to be seen and addressed akdndn and the fact that rbd is so. complicated. it makes subaru and his relationships with everyone else so complicated. and rbd is inherently unfair in a lot of ways to both subaru and everyone hes close to. i cant wait for more subaru development but i also think after arc 8 he NEEDS a break or like otherwise, personally i think subarus gonna snap for good and not be able to return from it 😭😭 or ill just have to suspend my uhh disbelief. i suppose. but yes i do love subaru a lot!!! his hair is a Pain in the ass to draw but ill endure the pain just for him. <33
but regarding all of subarus loved ones maiming and killing him a lot—i think its fascinating how the if routes prove he is JUST as capable of ruining all their lives. like i feel like people forget that sometimes in favor of woaaah cool what if routes where subaru becomes “badass”…. but LIKE…. hes SO SO CAPABLE of so much destruction. he is choice itself. he is capable of changing the entire world and everyone around him. he is capable of causing the deaths and trauma for SO MANY PEOPLE… and like i think rezero itself and subarus relationships are like an extreme version of hedgehog’s dilemma, u know? like u get close to people to love and be loved, but ur also very vulnerable to getting hurt. and rezero is About love. and part of close relationships are that ur so close u Can be hurt. maybe you Will be hurt. but u will also Love….. unless ur one of the ifbarus then fuck u for making the wrong decisions ig wodndndn. im telling u guys that subaru is LITERALLY an eldritch being at this rate. todd is so right.
and. okay one last thing im gonna be real for a second. im a little eh on subaru being a child, honestly. like i DO like the trope of turning characters back into their child selves in order to explore their psychology that way!! but like. idk i feel like the childbaru arc is kinda too similar to the whole amnesiabaru arc in arc 6. it feels Extraneous. it doesnt feel different enough for me personally. (emphasis on personally. this is all my opinion hah.) and then he is STILL A CHILD IN ARC 8 EVEN THOUGH THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT GOT TURNED INTO KIDS ARE NOW BACK TO NORMAL…… LIKE…. im sorry but the childbaru has overstayed its welcome by the time we get to arc 8 imo 😭😭
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Amnesia (Book Two)(Part Four)(Alec Volturi
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Mission
“Well done, Maeryn.” Jane said. Maeryn turned away from the pile of ashes. A pile of ashes that had been a female vampire daring to try and court with Alec. Alec smiled proudly. “Yeah, she had quite a talent.” He said before gently pecking Maeryn’s lips. Maeryn, who had still be slightly angered by the scenario that had just unfolded in front of her, calmed down almost immediately. She smiled at Alec before turning to Jane. “Only because I have amazing tutors.” “And a temper.” Came the jokingly voice of Felix who, along with Demetri, had just walked around the corner where they found the three vampire’s and the pile of ash. “Is that Mariah?” Demetri asked, slightly amused. “Yeah.” Alec said, wrapping his arm around Maeryn’s waist and pulling her close to his side. “I am sure Master Aro won’t mind it that much, she was only a maid after all. However, we do need to tell him.” Jane said, still slightly excited by what had just happened, and made her way towards the throne room. Maeryn but her lip before nodding her head and soon followed after Jane with Alec’s arm still around her waist. Felix and Demetri followed close by, not wanting to miss their Masters reactions. Once they entered the throne room, another female maid had surpassed them into telling Master Aro. Maeryn recognised her as the best friend of Mariah, Jasmine. Aro let go of Jasmine’s hand. “Thank you child. Dear ones! It is good to see you. I believe we have something to discuss, isn’t that right Maeryn?” Aro asked Maeryn, smiling gently at her. “Yes master.” Was all Maeryn said before she offered her hand for Aro to take. Caius and Marcus where watching them, Marcus with his usual bored expression while Caius seemed quite interested to see what Maeryn might have done. Aro took Maeryn’s hand and concentrated. Maeryn was slightly nervous, seeing as she let her emotions fire up and let them lead her instead of her mind. Aro let go of her hand and stroked her cheek gently. “You have nothing to be sorry about, dear one. You won’t be punished. It was only a natural reaction, seeing as he is your mate and you are still a newborn.” He said before sitting back down on his throne. Jasmine was furious. “So she just gets away with that?” she asked angrily. Maeryn glared at the maid and Felix and Demetri already moved forward while Jane and Alec got ready to attack the maid and calm Maeryn down if needed. Aro moved his hands together in front of his chest. “She is a newborn and as you also should know, she right now is led by her emotions more than her mind.” Aro explained. Jasmine glared even fiercer at Maeryn and Jane was ready to cause this girl pain, but Alec held her back slightly signalling for his sister to wait. “She killed her! Without a real reason!” Jasmine shouted. Maeryn hissed. “Want to lay next to her in your own pile of ash?” she hissed calmly. Threatening Maeryn, fine. Threatening her masters and you where practically done for.  Jasmine shut her mouth quickly. Caius smirked at the way the newborn was already behaving and Aro sighed sadly. “Demetri, Felix, please escort our dear Jasmine to the dungeons until she has calmed down and realise how to act in front of her superiors.” Aro said. Jasmine’s expression turned from angry to horrified. “And please, hurry back up. I have a new mission for the five of you.” Aro said. Demetri and Felix bowed their heads before dragging a struggling and hissing Jasmine away. But Maeryn had barely noticed that. Aro had said he had a new mission for the five of them, meaning Maeryn was finally going on a mission! Felix and Demetri shortly returned and the five vampires stood in front of their masters. “Dear ones, it has come to our attention that a newborn army has been created by a vampire named Victoria in Seattle, Washington and they cause quite a lot of trouble for our kind. Please go and take a look on what the problem might be. I trust you all to know how to handle this situation perfectly.” Aro said giving a knowingly look to the five vampire’s in front of him. “Yes master.” The five vampire’s said and
they all bowed before leaving the throne room and made their way towards the small airport that held their private jets. The flight had been quite boring. All the five vampires did was read, or in Demetri and Felix’s case, playing a card game. Once they had landed in Seattle, the five vampires went out to hunt, making sure to keep a good eye on Maeryn. Maeryn could control herself a lot better already, she could even participate in the feeding in the throne room and she could wait for her masters to take their first pick, that all was no problem to her anymore. No. Her problem was the minute blood hit her tongue. When that would happen, Maeryn would get in some sort of Frenzy and keep on killing until no blood is near her. Most of the Volturi let her have more than they do, knowing how hard the first year of being a vampire is. Maeryn drained a few strippers on their smoke break, not really enjoying the bitter taste of the nicotine on their blood, but it was sweet enough to satisfy her and her burning throat. Alec watched her from a short distance and saw Maeryn becoming herself again. He slowly walked to her, not daring to scare her. Maeryn watched him and didn’t move until her gently wiped away some blood from her mouth and licking it off. Maeryn bit her lip before pulling him close and kissing him, tasting the blood from the man he had just drained still in his mouth, making her moan softly. Alec smirked and pushed her against a wall, tasting the blood from the strippers on her lips and sucking it off gently. “Ahem.” Came the amused voice of Jane. Maeryn pulled away, slightly ashamed but Alec growled in frustration. “We have a mission to fulfil, dear brother and sister.” Jane said. “My apologies Jane.” Alec said before pulling away, taking Maeryn’s hand into his. Demetri and Felix chuckled amused. Jane turned around and looked at Demetri. Demetri nodded his head and turned into a tracker. Demetri caught Victoria's scent outside the city and in the forest without trouble and then loped after it quickly while Felix, Jane. Alec and Maeryn trailed closely behind him. The five vampire’s continued their journey through the forest, their dark cloaks waving behind them kept on running, with Demetri running in front of the others, leading them to their destination. The five vampires only had to run for about 25 minutes or so before Demetri slow down. They must have been getting close. Less than half a mile away was a large gap in the trees, an open field that covered several acres. Near the centre of the space, closer to the trees on its east side, was what looked like an oversized gingerbread house. Painted bright pink, green, and white, it was elaborate to the point of ridiculousness, with fancy trim and finials on every conceivable edge. Maeryn laughed softly, her laugh sounded like chimes in the wind. Alec loved her laugh and looked at his mate, smiling gently. “What is funny, amore mio?” he asked. “The ridiculous look of this house. Quite an ironic place for a vampire to reside in.” Maeryn explained. Jane smiled slightly, not really wanting to give up her serious state she always seemed to get into once on a mission. No vampire was seen, but a strange noise could be heard from inside the ridiculous looking house. Strange little brushing, ticking sounds. At first Maeryn didn't recognize what the sound was that she was hearing, but then Alec twitched another little smile, leaning in gently and placing a soft kiss on Maeryn’s lips, making an almost similar sound that could be heard from inside the small house. Kissing didn't sound the same with vampires as it did with humans. No soft, fleshy, liquid-filed cells to squish against each other. Just stone lips, no give. It was so far from what Maeryn expected to find here. Maeryn had expected Victoria to be surrounded by her newborn army, to protect her. But no newborn was insight. The five vampires, almost seemed like shadows in their cloaks only being brightened by the moonlight crossing the open field to the house. They had entered the clearing from the west. The five
vampires skimmed across the long grass in absolute silence and pure grace. The had changed their positions. Jane had taken Demetri’s place in front of the other vampires and they made a perfect diamond formation that never was the slightest bit out of line no matter how the terrain changed under their feet. They moved directly toward the house, and started silently up the steps toward the front door. Maeryn felt slightly nervous. After all, this was her first mission. Alec, who had been holding her hand this whole time, gently squeezed it. Maeryn squeezed his hand, reassuring him she was alright. The five vampires let themselves in silently, but the other two vampires in the house had heard them already and where crouched down, ready to attack whoever dared to disturb them. "Don't bother," Jane commanded lazily in a very clear, monotone voice. Maeryn had never heard Jane speaking like this and was quite surprised, but she never showed. However, she understood Jane’s tone. She was down to business, as these vampires could possibly destroy the Cullen clan and their precious little Bella. God, even thinking about her made Maeryn angry as this Bella dared to defy her mate’s and his sister’s powerful gifts. Maeryn hoped that with all the training she had done the past few weeks, she could break through Bella’s shield.  "I think you know who we are, so you must know that there is no point in trying to surprise us. Or hide from us. Or fight us. Or run." Jane continued and Maeryn paid attention once more. Victoria and the other vampire still didn’t relax and remained in their ready-to-attack position. Felix let out a deep, masculine chuckle that echoed menacingly through the house. "Relax," instructed Jane. "We're not here to destroy you. Yet." There was a moment of silence, and then some barely audible movements. A shifting of positions as Victoria and the male vampire finally let go of their crouched position. "If you are not here to kill us, then... what?" Victoria asked, strained and shrill. Maeryn watched her family and their expressions. Jane and Alec seemed to enjoy the fear this female vampire had for them, and so did Felix and Demetri. They loved the impact they had on other vampires and Maeryn understood, as she felt the same. Powerful, feared. "We seek to know your intentions here. Specifically, if they involve... a certain local clan," Jane explained. "We wonder if they have anything to do with the mayhem you've created here. Illegally created." "Yes," Victoria hissed. "My plans are all about them. But we can't move yet. It's tricky." A petulant note crept into her voice at the end. "Trust me, we know the difficulties better than you. It is remarkable that you've managed to keep off the radar, so to speak, for this long. Tel me" - a hint of interest colored the monotone voice of Jane - "how are you doing it?" Victoria creator hesitated, and then spoke al in a rush. Almost as if there had been some silent intimidation. Maeryn looked at Felix and saw he was slightly cracking his knuckles, staring at Victoria, demanding answers.  "I haven't made the decision," Victoria spit out. Then she added more slowly, unwillingly, "To attack. I've never decided to do anything with them." "Rough, but effective," Jane said. "Unfortunately, your period of deliberation has come to a close. You must decide - now - what you will do with your little army." Both Victoria's and the male vampire’s eyes widened at that word. Judging by the looks on their faces, it hadn’t been their plan to attack already, but it surely was necessary seeing the damage the newborns had already caused. "Otherwise, it will be our duty to punish you as the law demands. This reprieve, however short, troubles me. It is not our way. I suggest you give us what assurances you can... quickly." Jane continued. Maeryn was quite intrigued by the way Jane acted. She was truly a leader and she knew how to bring fear into her enemies. "We'll go at once!" the male vampire volunteered anxiously, and there was a sharp hiss coming from Victoria. "We'll go as soon as
possible," Victoria amended furiously. "There is much to do. I assume you wish us to succeed? Then I must have a little time to get them trained - instructed - fed!" Maeryn glared at Victoria, feeling her hands itch to use her gift on this vampire who dared to be rude to them, to the Volturi, but Alec, feeling her emotions getting up due to her still being a newborn, grabbed her hand once more and squeezed it to calm her down and without any of the other vampires noticing, seeing as they all had been too preoccupied by the scene that was slowly evolving in the small, ridiculous looking gingerbread house. There was a short pause while Jane looked outside the small window, looking directly at the moon before turning her head back, looking at the two vampires in front of her with her piercing, crimson eyes. "Five days. We will come for you then. And there is no rock you can hide under or speed at which you can flee that will save you. If you have not made your attack by the time we come, you will burn." Jane said. This was said with no menace other than an absolute certainty. "And if I have made my attack?" Victoria asked, clearly shaken by Jane’s verdict. "We'll see," Jane answered in a brighter tone than she'd used yet. "I suppose that all depends on how successful you are. Work hard to please us." The last command was given in a flat, hard pitch that made Maeryn feel a strange chill in the centre of her body, but mostly excitement. She felt excited at the thought she may help kill these vampires who dare be disrespectful towards them. "Yes," Victoria snarled. "Yes," the male vampire said, his voice echoed in a whisper. Jane smiled satisfied and a second later the cloaked vampires were noiselessly exiting the house. Making their way to a fancy hotel where they would reside for the remaining days to spare until the big battle. Maeryn felt very excited and hoped the newborn army would at least be able to end Edward and Bella. Maeryn and Alec walked towards their room, having had slightly enough excitement for today. Maeryn made her way towards the bathroom and took a long shower, setting the temperature quite low. Maybe too low for a humans liking, but for Maeryn and her skin feeling as cold as a corpse, this temperature was just perfect. It warmed her cold body up slightly. After a while, Maeryn turned off the shower, dried herself off, pulled on a simple and comfortable yet style full dress, brushed her hair and entered the bedroom finding Alec reading a book. He had removed his cloak and shoes and had changed into more comfortable clothing:  a black t-shirt, showing his muscular arms and a simple pair of dark blue jeans. Alec looked up from his book and smiled at his mate. “You look beautiful, amore mio.” Maeryn smiled and walked to his side of the bed before leaning down and gently kissing his lips. Alec smiled and placed his hand on the back of her neck, gently keeping her face in place while kissing her lovingly. The kiss didn’t last very long and soon Maeryn was lying next to him,  reading a book while her head rested on his chest and his arm was gently wrapped around her shoulders. And so, the couple read the whole night. Just enjoying each other’s company.
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carmintros · 4 years
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@rowanfelixgreen​     /     ❛   。   ✩   ゚ my eyes are probably playing tricks on me again, but is that really  brianna hildebrand? oh, wait, it’s just  rowan felix green. yes, that  seventeen  year old  shop attendant  & computer repair person, who i am pretty sure is a  local. according to the talk of the town, he is incredibly  wild & always ready for a fight, yet undeniably  smart & unafraid to be different. that is precisely why  leather jackets, the haze of alcohol just starting to set in, bloody knuckles, stuffed animals pouring out of every space & the clack of noisy keys on an old laptop  remind me of them so much, but then again you know what they say about  aquarius, we’ll see how that one turns out !   penned by kit  /  mst & they / them
ooc note: rowan is non-binary/transmasculine. He uses he/him pronouns because he says they/them is confusing and neo-pronouns are never going to be taken seriously, he also likes the fact that he often looks femiminine in his dress but acts masculine and uses he/him pronouns.
introduction post . TW: self harm, abuse, rape, substance use ooc information: kit, mst, they/them. ic information: Rowan Felix Green Age: 17 Gender: Transmasculine, he/him [Boxcar - Jawbreakers] - ”Uhhh, shit, I guess if I had to pick a theme song it’d be Boxcar. I like the whole vibe of it, like, calling out punk purists. Punk should have no room for purism. If you say you’re a punk and you’re not a nazi, cause in the words of Dead Kennedys ‘nazi punks fuck off,’ you’re welcome. That’s what the whole point of punk was, dude. It’s the ultimate counter culture movement ‘cause it welcomes fucking everyone unlike mainstream culture.”
D.O.B: February 14
“Why the name Rowan?” “So, like, originally I was named Hannah. Which is totally a bullshit name and when I met my forever family I decided to give myself a new name and I wanted it to be all nature-y because they all had nature names. They like helped me look and I found Rowan and read this folklore about how a rowan tree was where the devil hanged his mother and I knew right then. That was my name.”
Ethnicity: Half white, half mestizo
Relationship Status: single “Single and definitely not ready to mingle. If it happens it happens but I sure as hell ain’t seeking it out and I don’t think it’s gonna happen anyways so it don’t fucking matter.”
Sexual Orientation: Unsure “Yeah, I don’t really wanna think about sexy shit. I was raped as a kid, I’m not especially into remembering it. And all this sexual orientation shit makes me remember it.”
Appearance:
Height: 5’0 Build: Smaller than he looks from far away. He’s actually really tiny. And he hates it.
If he wasn’t so intimidating he could be cute. With a small stature, high cheekbones, a cocky swagger and big brown eyes he is definitely attractive. But the scowl that takes over his features whenever he’s around someone he doesn’t trust and the aggression that seemed to exude from every pore disguises that attractiveness pretty well.
Ripped flannels and fishnets under cropped tops and t-shirts are among Rowan’s signature looks. There’s something decidedly sexual about how he dresses but he doesn’t seem to register that. He just wears what he likes and hopes will scare people. He displays his self harm scars like a badge of honor – or insanity. They seem to warn: I AM UNSTABLE, DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME.
Look at Rowan the wrong way and at the very least he’ll gnash his teeth at you. At the most he’ll pull a knife on you and threaten to gouge out your eyes if you ever look at him again. He claims he tried to once but that’s unlikely. He would be in jail if that was the case. …right? Better not to risk it.
History:
Rowan was born to a teenage mother in an abusive household.
When Melissa Webber got pregnant at only age 15 she knew she would be in trouble. Her father, Frank, wouldn’t approve. Melissa kept it from the man as long as she could. Eventually, of course, he found out. Frank was livid. Melissa was banned from leaving their little trailer, she was banned from seeing her friends, and she was even banned from seeing her boyfriend of just over a year and the father of her baby. She was to be homeschooled for the rest of her high school career so, in the words of Frank, she could no longer “be a slut.”
Her baby was born on Valentine’s Day in a house with no love left. Melissa’s mother had died of suicide when Melissa was only 11, and it often felt like she took any warmth and care that had been lingering in the corners of rooms, hidden among the shadows with her. How funny then that Rowan, initially named Hannah Jane, was born on Valentine’s day.
Frank’s anger and the isolation he forced on Melissa eventually pushed the girl to suicide. Rowan was only 6 months old. Before Melissa’s death, Rowan had been largely ignored by Frank. Now, however, he became the scapegoat. Melissa hadn’t killed herself because she was isolated from the world. Nor had she killed herself because the mental illness that ran in her family was untreated. Instead, according to Frank, she had killed herself because the baby had ruined her life.
Frank turned this rage on the baby. Rowan’s earliest memories involve him being tied onto a tiny children’s chair for hours because Frank didn’t want him to make a mess in the house; Frank coming into the bedroom at night to ‘visit’ with him in a way that, to this day has left Rowan, extremely anxious about sex and sex repulsed; Frank holding his hand against a hot burner to ‘teach [him] a lesson’ (Rowan was never told what the lesson was); having his face pushed under water in the bath to stop him from crying; and other acts that could only be described as torture. Rowan lead an extremely isolated life for the first several years of his life. He was homeschooled, like his mother, and besides Frank and a handful of Frank’s friends he was largely alone. Most of his socialization came from the television. Frank justified this by saying school was how Melissa got pregnant so he wouldn’t “make the mistake of sending another one there to be a slut.” Instead rowan was kept inside the house during school hours.
It had been noted that Frank was capable of abuse and neglect when Melissa was little (she had spent several months in the system when she’d come to school with visibly bruises as a child), however, for the first 7.5 years of Rowan’s life, overworked and under competent social workers consistently overlooked the abuse in the Webber household. Eventually one of the social workers noticed and cared enough to go through the proper procedures to get Rowan out of that living situation. She reported it to her supervisor and a full scale investigation was launched. The abuse was soon discovered through talking to and examining Rowan and Rowan was removed from the situation. For the first time in his life, he was safe – though Rowan did not know what ‘safe’ meant or felt like yet.
Rowan was placed into the Green household temporarily, as at the time the Greens were acting as an emergency house for children who had just been taken away from their parents. He was only supposed to be with them a week but the Green adults fell in love with the skittish, self reliant child they had taken in. They asked for him to stay with them and began the process of adopting him soon after. It took a long time for Rowan to realize he was safe and he was loved. For months he put up with people touching him because he was afraid that if he spoke out he would face some sort of punishment. For months he distrusted everyone in the Green household despite how much they loved him. He was always wary, always waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to be hurt again. He was placed into therapy when he was young and has gone off and on since.
The greens were a stereotypical homeschool family. Rowan was kid number 15, they owned their own business and baked their own bread. Mr. Green was a carpenter and Mrs. Green ran the little gift shop + bakery. There were so many siblings that the older ones had to help care for the little ones To this day the entire family is very close knit and the older siblings constantly rely on the younger ones to watch their children.
The Greens practice a form of schooling called unschooling. It is a child-led education where children get to decide what they study and when. Additionally, they’re what’s called whole-life unschoolers and the green parents take a stance on parenting where they don’t give their children orders. They talk to them and treat them as if they are capable of making their own choices and decisions, except when it is something that puts their health at risk.
Rowan thrives with that educational setting. He learned to read so he could use his brother’s computer, he learned math while cooking and found it fascinating so he learned it more in depth, he learned how to build robots and how to break into the coding of popular websites well enough that he even figured out how to monetize it when he was 12 (he tests websites for weaknesses and when he finds them he points it out and gets paid to do so). He learned how to play keyboard and guitar and began recording and publishing his music on Soundcloud and Youtube.
Within a few months of living with his new family, his new dad built him a beautiful, fully enclosed, treehouse in the large tree in their backyard. Rowan loved it so much he lived in it for almost a year only coming in to use the bathroom or on the most sweltering days when his family insisted he stay cool inside. He took his baths in the kiddie pool since he lived “outside in [his] own house now.”
Around this time he got a pirate costume and a knight costume. He changed his name to Rowan and began to trade off between wearing those two costumes. When he was in the knight costume he insisted on being called Brave Sir Rowan. When he was a pirate he insisted he was Cap’n Ro.
For a period of Rowan’s life you wouldn’t know he went through the abuse he went through. He seemed happy, healthy, well adjusted.
And then puberty hit.
With puberty came deep gender dysphoria. Suddenly his body was changing in ways he hated. He was developing curves and stopped growing. All the mental illness his family thought they had under control resurfaced along with a large new helping of self-loathing triggered by dysphoria.
Rowan began to self harm. It started small. He would lie in bed and fantasize about cutting off the parts of him that didn’t look right when he saw himself in the mirror. One night, he crawled out of bed and grabbed a kitchen knife and tried cutting his breasts just to see if it was possible. The scratch was so small it didn’t bleed. But, relief flooded through him. He was able to breathe and the crushing weight of dread had let up just a bit. He stopped crying and crawled back into bed and slept well for the first time in weeks.
Whenever he was upset he began to run to the sharp sting of a blade. He stole a pocket knife and a pack of razors and hid them in his treehouse. His family discovered the harm almost a year after he started. By then the little scratches had turned into proper injuries. He was immediately sent back to therapy and was diagnosed with gender dysphoria soon after. Rowan socially transitioned. It helped a little bit but pandora’s box was open. His brain had tasted self destruction and it was hooked.
The last several years have been a slow but steady spiral downwards. He made friends with other sad, breaking kids and they broke together. They began to experiment with alcohol and substance use young, Rowan would swear he’s fine but whenever you put alcohol in his hands he binge drinks to get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible. Whenever there’s a chance for him to get high off something new he takes it, barring only the most stigmatized of drugs.
Somewhere during this spiral he realized the easiest way to make people leave him alone was to scare them. So he began dressing in ways he thought would scare them and carrying himself like at any moment he could snap.
Personality:
“Sometimes I wonder what his life could have been if he had come to us as a baby and if we had known about his gender. You should have seen him when he was little. He was such a cute kid and was so passionate about, well, everything. And he’s so smart it’s intimidating. But then he hit puberty and we all lost what little stability he had. Last time I talked to mom, I heard he set a trashcan in the park on fire while he was drunk or high or both and it breaks my heart because I know he’s a good kid underneath it all. He’s just a good kid who’s really struggling right now. I hate it because I can’t even trust him to be alone with my kids anymore. What if that comes out around them and he hurts my crew?” – Clay Green, older brother.
“Rowan likes to act like he’s tough shit but he’s not. He can’t sleep unless he has his favorite stuffed animal with him and once I saw him crying over the sounds sloths make. The tough guy act is just that. An act. I mean, look at his cat. He only has the thing because he saw it was scared and got gentle with it. And now he’s the only person that cat tolerates and he has it perched in his tree house half the time so you can’t even go up there if you’re not him. Which, like, not cool when your little brother is practically sprinting to a drug addicted future and you really should be making sure he doesn’t have the worst of it in your parents house.” – Rosemary Green, older sister.
At first interaction it’s easy to think Rowan is all rough and ready to fight. And that’s exactly what he wants you to think. His fighter persona is designed to scare anyone who would hurt him away. Give him some time and a little patience and it becomes obvious that Rowan is much more complex than that. Rowan is confusing. There are so many elements to him that it’s hard for any one person to get a full picture of him.
There’s his brash fighter side – the part of him that stabbed a child for being mean to his sister once. There’s the sweet side of him that takes lost animals and lost people under his wing and cares for them when they can’t seem to care for themselves.
There’s the engineer part of him that builds useless robots constantly just because he’s bored. There’s the witch part of him that has an altar in his bedroom and that celebrates every pagan holiday he knows about so none of the gods feel left out.
There’s still a childlike part of him that hangs out in the treefort his dad made him as a kid and still holds conversations between his stuffed animals. There’s the teenage part of him that’s looking for any substance to numb the pain of becoming an adult coupled with the pain of his past.
There’s the creative part of him that comes up with bizarre ideas for robots, off the wall pranks (like leaving loaves of homemade bread all over someone’s living space) and interprets almost every song he likes into his own version. And then there’s the part of him that named his cat “Cat.”
Rowan is nothing if not complicated and confusing. He doesn’t mind that though. He’s used to being the smartest person in any room he’s in but he doesn’t make it a big deal. He just watches everyone else and works on mentally figuring out how to fix the coding of whatever website he’s working on at the moment.
He doesn’t love easily but when he loves he loves deeply and unconditionally. If you find yourself lucky enough to be one of Rowan’s chosen few know you will have him on your side for life. He’s ride or die with everyone he cares about.
Hobbies: Robotics Singing (he actually has a really good voice) Collecting stuffed animals Programming Baking (he works at a bakery but he also just enjoys it) Sloths. They’re his favorite thing in this world and he is almost obsessive in his quest to see sloths, collect sloth momentos, and learn sloth facts. Trivia: Rowan has a car named Bloody Mary. It’s an old fashioned VW Beetle he spray painted black and red. He got a beetle because he “wanted to inspire violence in children.” He’s really good with anything that uses his hands. Baking, playing guitar, building robots, etc. If it’s a hands-on, kinesthetic task Rowan excels at it. He is terrified of butterflies and giraffes. He collects stuffed animals so intensely that it can be hard to walk in his bedroom because there are so many stuffed animals lying around. He sleeps with a little stuffed dinosaur every night who he’s named Kelvin and a stuffed animal of the Peanuts character Woodstock (who he has named Franklin).
Health - Rowan downplays how he’s feeling most of the time. The intense physical abuse and neglect he faced as a child left him with chronic pain. He doesn’t mention it very often. He doesn’t want to admit to any weaknesses. If you watch him closely enough you’ll notice him rubbing his joints or squirming in his seat. Those are his biggest tells with his pain. At 8 he was diagnosed with dyslexia and he still struggles to read and code (coding is worth the struggle, reading is not). At 13 he was diagnosed with gender dysphoria. Besides changing his pronouns he doesn’t seem too interested in transitioning (he’ll tell you he doesn’t see a point but in reality he’s afraid of the medical procedures involved). At 15 he was diagnosed with mood disorder not otherwise specified. He was given medication that he promptly threw out but he still attends weekly therapy sessions to try and help. He doesn’t think it’s doing anything but sometimes it’s just easier to go along with things.
wanted connections . Band members. Rowan is cool with being a singer or a guitarist but he needs music in his life. Names are open for discussion but the genre should be reminiscent of either riot grrrl or post punk. His biological dad. I love the idea that his dad has been in his life from the sidelines since he was adopted and would love to explore that relationship.
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stillkillinmehollis · 5 years
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ya killin me Hollis... so for that 1-98
99 Gay-ish Asks [x]
1) how tall are you?
like 5ft 3in. not tall at all
2) what is your body type?
I’m not sure if i fall under the “husky” category? 
3) what is your favorite part about your body?
my legs are pretty solid and pretty brolic, so I guess we can go with that.
4) is your current hair color your natural hair color?
Negative.
5) are you more outgoing or more shy?
Definitely shy. But at work, I can sometimes fake the “outgoing” pretty okay
6) are you more femme or butch?
…. uhh… butch..ish… i guess?
7) are you tol or smol?
hella smol
8) wine mom or vodka aunt?
i mean.. I don’t drink so… neither…
9) weird habit?
I crack my knees
10) favorite meme?
oh man, too many to decide
11) do you sing in the shower?
not really anymore.
12) ever used a bow and arrow?
Merida has shown me a thing or two
13) are/were you a theatre kid?
never
14) have you ever seen a broadway musical?
In no particular order, I’ve seen: Wicked, Beauty & The Beast, Grease, and Mamma Mia
15) do you think musicals are cheesy?
i’m neutral
16) have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?
I did do the March For Life in high school (my stand on the situation has since changed).
17) favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?
it has been so long since I’ve last played CAH, that I don’t actually remember
18) last movie you watched?
Shrek.
19) behind the camera or in front of it?
i live behind a camera.
20) favorite tv show?
Bob’s Burgers is the show I currently watch most, so we’ll go with that. 
21) meaning behind your url
it’s line from Carmilla
22) reason you joined tumblr
I think an at the time Buddy of mine told me about it and I should sign up. and i was like “aiite”
23) who’s your closest tumblr friend?
Zach, Laura, Kelli, Sky
24) what’s something most people love that you hate?
being the center of attention
25) have you ever taken narcotics?
I’m not big on drugs to any capacity… and avoid taking any if I don’t need to… and idek what actually is considered “narcotics”… so i really have no idea ?
26) have you had sex?
I have not.
27) have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
nothing “bad”, I don’t think. idk, I was never that “bad” of a kid.
28) worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?
i’ve never told this story to anyone before, but i completely forgot about it until right now. So in college, I told a professor that my (i think it was a final?) had gotten ruined by rain that got in my bag, and I tossed the papers. In truth, either I hadn’t done it or i hadn’t finished it. 
29) describe your passion without mentioning it.
what am i even passionate about these days ?
30) describe your best friend.
His name is Zach, he was one of my college roommates. He’s the Felix to my Sarah, my baby brother in every way possible. He’s always there when I need him, and my personal cheerleader and biggest supporter. He’s also patiently impatient about me getting a girlfriend :p 
31) give us one thing about you that no one knows.
please refer to question 28.
32) how do you feel right now?
I’m getting kinda sleepy… It is 3:35am after all. and I’m only not even a full 1/3rd of the way through these questions 
33) what is your biggest fear?
Bees. Needles. Being Abandoned by people. Feelings.
34) what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
Ocean Avenue, by Yellowcard. I have no idea why, but it gets me so hype while I’m driving, and gets me to pull my windows down and blast my music.
35) what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?
applying for the Disney College Program one last time.
36) have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?
haven’t we all at least once ?
37) something you fantasize about.
having an awesome girlfriend some day
38) last time you cried and why
a few days ago I cried out of frustration as I’m trying to figure out my living situation
39) what was the last thing that made you laugh?
the fact that you sent me as many questions as I sent you
40) do you really, truly miss someone right now?
it’s been five months since I lost my Pup, and I truly painfully miss her on the daily
41) who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
Zach.
42) the last time you felt broken?
a few nights ago, due to something that was said in a one on one with my leader
43) are you starting to realize anything?
slowly…
44) are you more dominant or more submissive?
I don’t think this applies?
45) i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)
you can accept me, from my sarcasm to my mental health (or lack there of), everything in between and beyond
46) do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?
I’m here more for your maturity level then your actual age
47) describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.
I’m definitely not “in love” with anyone, and I avidly avoid the 5 letter C word. 
48) do you have any kinks?
getting a good night’s sleep
49) first thing you notice in a person?
between their smile and their eyes
50) how can someone win your heart?
sarcasm
51) been rejected by a crush?
ugh, i hate the C word but yes, yes I have.
52) have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?
sure have !
53) would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
nope
54) is trust a big issue for you?
huge.
55) did you hang out with the person you like recently?
nope.
56) is confidence cute?
extremely
57) what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
i wouldn’t say anything… like if someone else makes them happy, i’m not gonna come between that
58) would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
no way
59) does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?
………..moving on
60) ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
my entire existence is generally embarrassing to anyone, so .. yeah lol
61) do you want to get married?
I’d like to.
62) worst thing you’ve ever done?
i have no idea what the number one worst thing is… and honestly I don’t even want to know
63) three things that turn you on.
when someone can confidently take charge of the room, a cute laugh, and sarcasm. (also, just want it to be known, none of these are “sexual” turn ons, but things that can turn me on to a person)
64) who do you hate?
that’s a story for another day
65) favorite term of endearment?
Dude (thats an endearing term, right?)
66) who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?
ohman… i’m not sure. Natalia Livingston (Emily Quartermaine, GH), maybe? Eva LaRue (Maria Santos, AMC)? Tamara Bruan (Carly Corinthos, GH)? 
The soap ladies were/are pretty, and I was a wee gay, okay ?
67) intimidating girls or kind girls?
in fairness… i feel like all girls are intimidating to some degree or another.
68) what do you look for in a possible partner?
someone who makes me smile and laugh, someone who keeps me on my toes, someone who pushes me to be better. someone i can have fun with, be sarcastic with, and someone who can be sarcastic and witty back at me.
69) do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?
the personality behind the girl speaks volumes… also has a MAJOR affect on if i find her attractive or not.
70) are you good at flirting?
not even a little bit
71) who was the first person you came out to?
Tiffany.
72) do you have any friends who are wlw?
thankfully, most of them are !
73) is your crush wlw?
i hate the C word, but every girl I’ve had my eye on for one reason or another has turned out to be WLW.
74) last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?
i’ve honestly always been ace, whether I knew it or not.
75) write a short love poem to your crush/self?
i’m as good of a poet as I am expressing my feelings
spoiler: I’m not.
76) do you fall in love easily?
Situation depending, I can fall in LIKE or INFATUATION easily. but definitely not love.
77) is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
what’s a gay without some past trauma
78) are you good at hiding your feelings?
depends on the person and the feelings (but mostly, yes, I think so.)
79) are you a forgiving person?
For the most part, no. but it also depends on how bad you messed up… I can be, for the right person and the right circumstances.
80) what is your “type?”
idk if i have a strict “type”. 
81) fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?
the secret third option: play with her hair until she falls asleep in mine
82) tall girls or short girls?
yes
83) hugs or kisses?
i’m not always the greatest at physical contact, and the idea of my first kiss scares the actual shit out of me … so i guess hug for now?
84) twirl her around or get twirled?
please just me play with your hair
85) tummy kisses or thigh kisses?
uhhh… tummy ? i guess ? like i’m not out here trying to get in your thighs
86) hairline kisses or neck kisses?
is a hairline kiss the same a forehead kiss ? 
87) play with her hair or stroke her tummy?
i refer you back to #84
88) making out or soft kisses?
soft
89) hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?
i’d probs prefer waist… i guess?
90) how confident are you in your sexuality?
110% confident i’m not sexually attracted to anyone
91) when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?
my dude. Pal. Bro. your boii gets the whole damn zoo in a stampede-that-killed-Mufasa style, and it turns her stomach upside down, inside out, all around, and breaks it into a million pieces. 
92) have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?
yes I have, and yes I did.
93) how old were you when you realized you were into girls?
i was littttttle
94) most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?
exist
95) do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?
Laura/Carmilla. and yes.
96) what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?
No One really has ever said anything too aggravating to me about asexuality. 
97) when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?
last night (Tuesday; July 23rd, ‘19)
98) what is love to you?
Love is… all the songs making sense (throwback reference, I couldn’t resist). Love is “whats mine can be ours”. Love is working together to give it your all.
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