#also... dont @ me on the titles I am Aware. fucks sake

[ceratinus]

Tagged by @butchlett 🗡

Four songs I can't get out of my head

1. Hardest of Hearts-FATM

2. Body & Blood-clipping.

3. It's gonna be a long night-Ween

4. Written In Blood-She Wants Revenge

Tagging @niiiiiiiick15 @sirengf @forestfolke /mothbroth if any of you are so inclined 🖤

#moi.txt #tag games #song recs #mwah thank you dumbass #if you listen to any of these lemme know #also... dont @ me on the titles I am Aware. fucks sake

[buginateacup]

So Paperwork Polycule aka Get in loser we're getting married aka Four Idiots Once Braincell aka still working on a title is going to be a thing.

As per Dal's suggestion, they do spend a year in the Hamptons (apparently the state is the only one that recognises polyamory) which I am aware is a place only from tvland and did not know was near the ocean but I dont know why I'm surprised. Roxanne is going to run a vlog diary about polyamory and marrying aliens to support getting the bill overturned. its going to become really popular because even though her office is meant to be a work space "I am working guys! come on! You can't just interrupt me wi- ooh cookies! Thank you Minion!" she constantly has at least one husband in the background just reading or knitting (Wayne knits? Who knew?) or playing jenga or just hanging out.

The video with Wayne, Megamind and Minion (in his ball) all curled up on the couch together napping while Roxanne explains legislation changes racks up 5 million hits in a single day.

We are also flipping the script in that Megamind and Roxanne are the ones invested in Wayne and Minion getting together but they are just SO OBLIVIOUS FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST TELL HIM YOU LIKE HIM, while Roxanne and Megamind have definitely hooked up once or twice before and pretty much wind up in bed together immediately. Wayne is very disappointed his best friend didn't tell him she hooked up with their nemesis-husband before they got married. But is more than happy to join them later down the track. Snippet below:

----------

"Eh," Roxanne shrugged, "Would't be the first time"

"Excuse me!" Wayne said mock offended, "You had premarital sex with our husband? When was this? And why didn't you tell me?"

Roxanne threw a strawberry at him, "Centipedinator"

Wayne frowned, "I don't remember that one,"

"That's because it didn't work," Megamind rolled his eyes, "And you were helping out with the wildfires"

"So what you guys were just fooling around before I showed up?"

"Only a couple of times,"

"We usually tried to stay professional on the clock"

Wayne was looking at Roxanne, betrayed, "I can't believe you kept this from me"

"I tried to tell you. You just wanted to whinge about not being noticed by-"

Minion flipped a pancake with a little more force than necessary.

"Someone" Roxanne finished significantly and shared a eyeroll with Megamind.

-----------

Roxanne and Wayne were probably fuckbuddies early on when everyone first thought they started dating but that didn't last more than six months. Idk, stll working on that.

Minion is ambivalent about the whole bipedal sex thing but he does like  his husbands and wife. And he really likes when they reconfigure the wave pool to match his ball's habitat and all hang out there together.

Oh man oh man and when they get to the Ocean

Everyone cuddlepiles for naps. Wayne runs hot so Megamind can and will just koala onto his back and fall asleep

As always any comments and suggestions are welcome and definitely direct the writing process

Also I'm going away for a long weekend to see my family for the first time since January right when the fic bug is strongest so pray for me because I’m not taking my laptop so any writing will have to be done on my phone

#paperwork polycule #there was only one braincell #why am I writing so many fake married/fake dating things? #Why? #Why do I do this to myself? #Megamind #here we go again

[terramythos]

My reread commentary on October Daye #8, "The Winter Long" or "more shit goes down in this book than the first 7 combined, holy shit".

I apologize to anyone who reads these cause I literally hit the length limit on this post and had to pare it down lmao 

-Good start: Under the Acknowledgements section: "Everything I have done with October's world to this point has been for the sake of getting here". Sooo basically the first 7 books? Setup for this one. We're in for a Ride.

I want to emphasize some of the best meta foreshadowing I've seen:

FOR REFERENCE, Rosemary and Rue is the title of book 1. It's also the only book whose opening Shakespeare quote (from Hamlet) doesn't really match the title. If you know your Shakespeare, you probably would have caught that and figured out that it was from The Winter's Tale instead. Plenty of conclusions you can draw just from that. Since then the series has been chock full of hidden identities, and this book has two BIG ones coming into play. Foreshadowing was here from the very fucking beginning, and it is some next level shit. Very well done.

-If you skipped book 1 you are SO fucked, btw.

- we're going to great lengths to describe Sylvester's physical appearance. Gee I wonder why. I'm sure it's not relevant

- yes Sylvester has FOX COLORED HAIR and YELLOW EYES and his magic smells like DAFFODILS and DOGWOOD FLOWERS. He is Toby's LEIGE and FATHER FIGURE.

Me on a first read: oh it's just beginning book exposition, they all do this

Me on a second read: god fucking damn it

- toby: I should have known Sylvester would never disappoint me.

Me: oh sweetie. Oh honey.

- "He smelled like smoke and rotten oranges.

This man wasn't Sylvester Torquill."

Anyone who read book 1: OHSHIT.AVI

Welcome back, Simon! You know, Sylvester's evil twin? You know, the big bad (so far) of the series? The the one responsible for turning Toby into a fish for 14 years?

-Yet he seems kinda... off, huh? Comments about how he didnt know the spell would last 14 years, how he hates to upset October's mom, of all people? Whatever could he mean? :)))

-New toby power: spell reflection? Hell yeah? Also spell BREAKING, but to be fair she did do that one other time. In, you guessed it, book 1.

- "When I tried to picture Sylvester's face, I kept seeing Simon's instead" ow oof

- Simon calling Amandine "Amy", which we've established is an affectionate nickname (it being what, you know, THE LUIDAEG calls her). Why would Simon, of all people, call her that?

... oh.

-That sure explains a LOT, huh? That sure was set up... this whole time, huh?

-Little "fuck you" lines like "I didn't know Sylvester had a niece" in book 2. Talking about January. Well, uh, he has several actually! You're one of them!

-Explanation for why Sylvester had any inclination to be October's mentor... eventually becoming her liege and father figure... even giving her the Changeling's Choice (something family is supposed to do). It seems mighty convenient that a random noble was involved in the life of a changeling to such an extent. BUT, if he was her uncle, and knew his brother wouldn't step up? Well...

-This isn't even the biggest reveal of the book. Like, we're only a handful of chapters in and this bomb gets dropped.

-Sylvester, every 10 minutes: oh boy I cant wait to see my brother so I can like, completely eviscerate him!

Everyone else: uh,

- Tybalt: and here I thought I was going to have to ask Sylvester for his blessing. Now I technically have to ask SIMON?

Toby: uwotm8

Tybalt: oh god uhh I'm joking yeah uhh I'm just trying to distract you from all this stress :)) yeah (nailed it!)!

-And now we begin the "wow Sylvester is actually not a great person" slide. It's been hinted at that he's pretty unstable and has shitty priorities regarding people he cares about. But Toby glossed over a lot of it because she adored him. Welp.

- It's also an interesting aside that Etienne was kind of a dick to Toby for a reason in the earlier books. He legit thought she had been knighted because she was family, not that she had earned the post. And after the last few books he clearly knows now that that's not the case and they've actually become friends. That's interesting hidden character development.

- ok so The Gang finds out that Simon was telling the truth when he said turning Toby into a fish for 14 years was to save her. Because he had actually been hired to KILL her and didn't want to do it. So it was a loophole-- everyone thought she was dead, and then (as established in book 1) pretty much everyone forgot she existed until the spell broke.

-BUT Simon is bound by a geas (where have we seen that before) and cannot divulge his employer's name. But who had such a grudge against Toby and/or her mom to order a hit on her AND forcibly bind everyone to secrecy?

-who knows? Not toby. So they go to The Luidaeg to maybe get a lead, and she establishes right away that she is ALSO bound under a geas and can't say who did it. So we play some 20 questions, and then...

ULTRA DISTRESSING LUIDAEG LORE :((((

-additional: another month name just came into play. August. Toby's half sister, missing for a century. WHAT IS WITH THE MONTH NAMES

- "please don't mistake villainy for evil." That's an.. interesting quote re:Simon.

- Simon's way of protecting toby from the impending threat is "well maybe you turn into a tree for a few centuries but like. You're safe, right? Why are you mad?"

- The Luidaeg: *is straight up dead*

Toby: hey tybalt remember that time in book 2 when I Resurrected the Dead

Tybalt: yeah, it was fucking terrifying and I didnt speak to you for 6 months

Toby: *finger guns* guess whaaaaaat

-The Luidaeg: *says just. A bunch of Lore*

Toby: Luidaeg dont you dare drop that cryptic shit on me then pass out

Luidaeg: nap time

-"If you so much as whisper the first word of a transformation spell, I'll have your larynx in my hand before the second word can form." DAMN, Tybalt.

-Simon: I am VERY sorry for my bullshit earlier. I can't tell you who my employer is, but I CAN give you this BOUQUET of ICE COLD ROSES. Ice cold, like winter. Winter Roses, if you will. Yeah. Uh have a nice life, bye!

Everyone: well this sure is a mystery

-Simon is definitely a morally grey character. Has done really awful shit, is built up as a major villain... but turns out he had relatively little control over his actions. He does the wrong thing a lot but it's usually not for a truly evil end? If the context is to be believed he got stuck in the geas contract with Unnamed Employer to save his daughter, which explains the bad shit he did that we know of. Which then inadvertently kicked off like the whole series. He seems to genuinely care about Toby in a warped way? It would be so easy to write him off as an evil stepdad or whatever and there's plenty of canon to support that stance (she's an illegitimate CHANGELING child) but he seems like he wants to just be her dad. I hope we explore his character more, is what I'm saying.

-And not to keep rambling about it but Toby is an established unreliable narrator and a horrible (initial) judge of character. So it's not like this is an asspull or off base at all.

Twist of the fucking century here.

-You know... the character who set off the events of the series? The character who was murdered in book 1 and bound October to a geas forcing her to find the culprit or die? Evening fucking Winterrose?

-There were hints, most very subtle unlike the other big twists, but probably the biggest one is SHE NEVER SHOWS UP AS A NIGHT HAUNT. And they're in the story quite a bit, and they ALWAYS feature killed off characters. Except Evening.

-My favorite hints were the ones just piled in book 1. Comments like "no one knows who Evening really is" said with zero self awareness. Because we are actually about to find out who she is... 7 goddamn books later.

-dead meme but "surprise, bitch. Bet you thought you saw the last of me."

-God she's so awful lol

-Toby thinking Quentin died then calling him THE SON SHE NEVER HAD is a BIG OOF right to the HEART. ;-;

-The book also points out that The Luidaeg through the series has ALWAYS referred to Evening in present tense. Even though she "died" in book 1.

-The Luidaeg ALSO never refers to her as Evening. It's always "The Winterrose". You know, a title. Which we have heavily emphasized is something the Firstborn use in place of their true names.

*jazz hands* Surprise!

-We also (finally) have a canon explanation for the... rather remarkable coincidence that Quentin, the fucking Crown Prince (from TORONTO), is in San Francisco at all. It was always weird he got sent to Shadowed Hills, and it's been commented on multiple times... Evening arranged it, of course! For reasons we don't quite know. But as the Daoine Sidhe Firstborn, her descendants couldn't exactly say no. Even though they didn't know who she really was.

-We really are falling all over Firstborn in this series? It sure is.. an odd coincidence, huh?

We got:

The Luidaeg: Roane/Selkie

Amandine: Dochas Sidhe

Acacia: Blodynbryd

Evening: Daoine Sidhe

Blind Michael: ... uh actually I don't think we ever learn what race he's Firstborn of. All his "children" are kidnapping victims forcibly twisted into monsters. Well, except for Luna, but we only know the Blodynbryd side.

But it's weird that for being so rare that we've run into 5 of them in 8 books. There's gotta be a reason for it.. but what?

-Luna starts the series as Toby's Surrogate Mom and is now just straight up an enemy huh

-I made this observation in my book 1 notes, but I find it very interesting that all of Toby's initial friends and allies... aren't by this point. Whereas her current allies are either former enemies or people she initially disliked or distrusted.

Starter allies: Sylvester? Was lying to her the whole time. Luna? Pretty much tried to sacrifice her (+above). Evening? Uhh this whole damn book. Devin? Tried to kill her for personal gain. Lily/Connor? Both killed off for real.

Current allies: Tybalt? Literal former enemy turned lover. Quentin? Kind of a snotty, vaguely racist kid she whips into shape. The Luidaeg? Extremely powerful witch who Toby assumes is True Neutral and wouldn't hesitate to kill her. May? Literal personal walking death omen.

It's just a cool reversal. There's so much really excellent character development in this series and I love it.

-Simon still is a pretty major bastard but.. less outright mustache twirling evil than we were led to believe up to this book. You learn his Backstory and while it really doesn't justify his actions it does...explain them.

-Blink and you miss it Lore: August is missing because she entered a contract with the Luidaeg. She's holding the candle from book 3 :)))

I'm starting to realize I stan The Luidaeg so hard I just have to take a picture every time she shows up and does stuff lmfao. (Best character).

-But... nothing like your inconceivably ancient and powerful aunt suddenly owing you a life debt, I guess???

-Toby. You know, just an ordinary weak changeling who has somehow managed to KILL A FIRSTBORN and RAISE THE DEAD. yikes.

I'm just putting this here cause it's funny as shit. Tybalt really is just... a cat

This book: I heard you like distressing Luidaeg lore??

Me: oh thanks I don't need to feel things

-God Evening is awful. Like, if you didn't know that already, see above.

-It says something about The Luidaeg that despite all that shit their Firstborn did to her she ends up becoming such good friends with Quentin, a Daoine Sidhe?

-BIG LORE with The Luidaeg talking to Maeve??? And Maeve "responding" kind of? This series damn well better explore what the fuck happened to those three it's been built up all series

-Omg the showdown with Evening and The Luidaeg. And Toby managing to break free and realize she deserves so much more than Evening-- all without magic. And Simon showing up for a last minute redemption trying to hit Evening with elf shot? I mean he gets shot in the process, but...

-We now have like, 3 or 4 characters just... asleep indefinitely thanks to elf shot. that's gonna be a Thing isnt it. Rayseline, Evening, Simon, Arden's brother...

WE DID IT BOYS

-This is the last full one I've already read. Most of my reactions in 9-12 are gonna be new. So.

#long post #i mean it's under a cut.. but

[smallblanketfort]

do you have tips on taking notes?

yes!! i have many, so i tried to make it easier for you to navigate :)

L O N G post ahead of you, covering lecture notes and readings notes, from a college senior :)

lecture notes:

i suggest using a notebook and pen, physically writing down. it’s easier to study, and since it’s using your body, you have a much higher retention rate on your side than if you use a laptop.

i have used my laptop for taking notes before. it’s easier to take more notes, word for word, but that’s not always helpful. maybe that’s your style, especially if you enjoy rewriting your notes all pretty and more successfully when you get home. i am not that girl. 

more notes does not always equal better! it’s good for you to listen actively, selecting what is important and what is not. i take very thorough notes. i take a lot of notes. if you need notes for a missed class, i. am. your. girl. that doesn’t mean i write out everything word for word. selecting details, clauses, and images really helps me to not only keep up, but also to memorize later. plus, when you’re typing, it’s easier to type all the words out without really processing the whole meaning. remember that dense notes are harder to study

finally, when you write by hand, you can get more creative with your style. occasionally, i’ll web notes out from one, rather than a traditional outline, bc it makes more sense for the topic

it also helps my anxiety! so much! if i force myself to take great in depth notes, then my mind has to dedicate more brain space to the task at hand than to my anxieties.

stick to one of these though. it really sucks to get into a test and realize you didn’t study half of your notes bc you forgot half were on your laptop. it’s awful lol.

if you use a laptop, get used to how it works first. do u know how much i resent trying to switch from a bullet that is under other bullets (like this one, not filled in) to a main point bullet (the ones filled in). it can be so confusing. also make sure you use a program you like. you can take directly into documents, but i find that i really love evernote, as i can make notebooks for classes, stacks of notebooks for my college, and that i can tag notes with specific classes and topics.

if you’re on paper, for fuck’s sake, divide your notebook into sections for classes. keep it all together. those notebooks with handy dandy dividers are so helpful, and they keep you from carrying around 5 notebooks at once.

i wouldn’t worry too much about highlighters and such in class. there’s just so much going on then. save highlighting and color coding for later, and count it as studying.

don’t worry about traditional outlining styles, with roman numerals or whatever. i take notes very simply. bullets/dashes, subnotes under a broad note. 

do it how it makes sense to you! maybe that includes different bullet styles, different places for different types of information (on a simple level, i start writing chapter numbers and titles as far to the left as i can go, over the margins, in bold and capital letters. i also usually go over these later in a certain color marker)

in some classes it is helpful for me to write the topic along the top of the page in a highlighter (color coding is lovely) the main idea/topic for each page. the classes this was most obviously helpful in were astronomy (COMETS or BLACKHOLES etc) and shakespeare (MUCH ADO ACT 2 or ROMEO etc)

it’s easiest to just note page numbers of referenced complex diagrams, as they are usually in your reading or accessible online

your style might look different in each class. whatever works.

note everything (everything) your professor writes on the board. if it’s important enough for your professor to write it, it’s probably important enough for you to write it.

note examples only if it’s helpful for your memory. however, make light note of things like famous people and their science/psych experiments. but in math and such, note! the! examples! and! reasons! will help you so much.

examples that have emotion, imagery, or sound are going to be more helpful. applicable examples are most helpful. good professors will lecture you accordingly. lazy ones will not.

star anything that the professor stresses or hints will be tested. anything that they say is a major theme or whatever.

note main ideas/points/themes, definitions, conclusions, 

use your tests to help you figure out what you need to know. ask questions about the tests too. in every class i’ve taken, i’m totally shocked at how willingly people ask about exam format and how willingly the professor will tell us how it will work. they want you to succeed.

people learn differently! i suggest taking notes in class and later adding touches that help you. count it as study time too. a warm up, if you will. 

if you’re visual, this might include highlighting, color coding, drawing diagrams, etc.

 if you’re an auditory learner, reading the notes out loud and organizing them accordingly, as well as making up rhymes, rhythms and such, might help you. some auditory learners actually like to record lectures and listen to them later. 

if you learn best through movement, rewriting or making flashcards will be great for you.

sometimes professors go really. fuckin. fast. why. idk? but

dont be afraid to ask them to go back a slide bc i guarantee, you will be the class hero for asking

develop a little bit of shorthand. sometimes i end up using initials, arrows, abbreviations… this is where i got “bc” and “thru” and “u” and such. lol. also, list things vertically, rather than using commas and “and/&/+) it’ll be more clear later

some professors you literally cannot take notes on. it sucks. you’re going to need to do the readings and pick their brains on how the test will be to figure out how to prepare. take home tests are your best friend. thank god for them. seriously. get your butt to church and do some worshipping.

if your professor puts powerpoints online, save the powerpoints, ya never know.

look at inspiration if you want, but remember that notes on studyblr are usually copied from class notes. if you’re too focused on how pretty your notes are, good luck to you

finally, the day before an exam, i review my notes that i have (hopefully) been studying. i like to make a one page cheat sheet / study guide on everything i didn’t remember, leaving out everything i understand, memorized, or want to disregard. 

reading notes:

ima be real and tell you i hardly ever do reading unless i will be tested on it in class in multiple choice. and im an english student. ye i suck, i know. i dont condone shirking the system but u know what, reading shakespeare or 18th century lit literally makes me want to kill myself. so, im a senior in college, and have barely ever done the reading for a class. the thing is, if you do it right, anything is better than just reading the words on the page and not getting the meaning. dont be a reading zombie. read actively, even if it’s not the actual reading. doing this, i have a 3.9 gpa. so. there’s hope for us yet.

first of all, yall need to do your damn reading. idc how. but due to the fact that a test will be multiple choice, essay answer, a presentation, or a paper, you’re going to not love pulling nothing out of your ass. can be done tho. just be fake deep.

that being said, i’m writing a lot below, but the reality is that if it’s lit, your notes dont have to be longer than a sentence. if it’s a textbook, more.

the same formatting question comes into play here, except it’s should you take notes in your book or in a notebook?

listen i’m always going to be pro notebook, pro physically writing it out as it helps me really get the information into my head, rather than more passively highlighting

i tend to do both, if im willing to mark up a book. i underline and highlight things that stick out to me, and i write them down as well. sometimes when reading literature/essays, if i know the contextual/meaning notes will be interesting to me later, i will copy notes both into my notebook and also less in depth onto post it notes (which also make sweet little flashcards btw), which i will stick into the passage. this is so helpful when a) im reading it again later and b) when we are discussing a passage in class

buy used books. it’s cheaper. until it happens to u, u do NOT UNDERSTAND how EXCITING it is to get a book that has highlights and underlines in it ALREADY. DUDE. my work is basically DONE for me. now take that lightly, bc often different ppl will highlight different pieces of information. however, it is helpful.

look up summaries. do not simply rely on cliffsnotes and sparknotes, esp since professors are very aware of these. google “title of book, summary, chapter notes, whatever youre looking for” and use the blog posts, the book reviews, the papers that come up. does this method probably take a bit longer? maybe? but it’s easier on my tired brain.

if you don’t have time to read your textbook one day and really want to, read the introduction and the conclusion to the chapter, or the first and last sentences to the paragraphs. it’s not great, but it’s something.

like your lectures, note definitions, conclusions, and helpful examples, as well as people and dates. if i’m reading literature and i’m deciding to be a smart student i will keep several logs as well. these logs will make it so. easy. to study for your exam:

updated character lists, including name, relationships, and anything defining and important

scene/chapter summaries, just a sentence summarizing what happened where

any quotes or themes that stand out

i highly highly highly recommend getting your hands on a copy of the well educated mind for note taking on a range of genres. this is what i had to use through high school and while it’s involved, it’s incredibly helpful.

if you’re going to have to cite your notes, note the page number in the margin every time you flip the page

the biggest issue i have with reading is when and where to do it. before or after class? always ask your professor if they do not tell you. where in your notebooks? i always do it on the next blank page bc leaving space stresses me the fuck out. make notes on the top of your pages of corresponding lectures/readings. 

for both lectures and readings i really really really suggest either having something to drink or something to snack on (think fruit, loose nuts, m&ms. small loose things rather than things u bite? idk they just last longer?)

okay i hope this was somewhat helpful even tho it’s an incredibly longwinded post. it seems like a lot, but the reality is that while i take a lot of notes, i don’t make them complicated, i don’t have rules, i just do what feels right in the moment. they’re not at all stressful. just take it easy and do whatever works for you :) 

if anyone has other tips, feel free to reply :)

#school

[aesthetic-consumables]

Mid Term Review

Hey y’all. alots changed since I last used this tumblr. (for instance the fucking purge happened...) so I’m here for now mostly for convenience sake. making any lengthly writing on twitter is a pain, and I would like to easily share this with people. so without further ado, lets get into it!

Tommorow is the mid-term review for my progress on my thesis project. and I have 45 minutes. Ill have only ten to introduce my project.

 heres some notes from my mentor on how to approach it.

so Ill start with the blurb to intoduce my project. 

Hey y’all, My name is Teddy, Im from the animated arts program, and for my thesis project I am making a video essay on structures of oppression in mainstream kids cartoons. I expect that the final product is going to be about 20 minutes long, as I have already recorded half of the script, and the rough edit comes up to 11 minutes.

The clips I am about to show you is footage of me speaking on my research opinions an anecdotes. This footage will serve to ground the diverse visuals Ill be including that reference contemporary animation, animators, and the business and culture around them, as well as my own animations (of which there is currently only one of) so! here is some of my footage.

draft one: essentials before timing...

1. content

This is a video essay intended for youtube, and other internet streaming sites for a public audience. My intention is to offer my queer experience and point of view to critique the animation industry as it exist today, and invite my viewers to think about it an draw their own conclusions. 

Yes, I am not focusing my thesis project on making an animated work, rather I am centering my ideas, thouroughly articulating them, and using the visuals to draw the viewer into engaging with the work. This larger story board is the bulk of the video, and it shows both moments when it is only me on the screen, Ttle cards for each segment of my essay, and moments where I am including visual references of cartoons, artists, toys, etcetera. 

Here I have some story boards laid out representing diferent visual aspects of the video. You can see I have a couple different title cards in the board, these mark seperate sections in the essay. since I am using the conceit of the animation pipeline, I am breaking up the raising an animator to prepare them for the industry into segments. These segments adress things like, getting you hooked on animation, developing the ability to mimic art styles, getting technical education, and distill them into the bits with the most impact on myself and other marginalized folk.

 here, is the second animated intervention I have planned. Wheras the first intervention was meant to draw the viewer into the intimacy of a flip book, and emulate the childish style indicative of my early animations, the second intervention is kind of in the style of a “draw your life” style video. 

(at this point pull up a gif exerpt from your thesis proposal, the one where you are standing in a field and the wind is blowing)

here is a style example from the animation I i did for my proposal. this is a popular format in which you tubers talk about stories from their past and illustrate it as they voice it over. since I am using personal narrative in the video, I wanted to include this as a visual aid to get my memory across with the emotionality that I remember it with, and really putting people in my shoes. 

here is the final storyboard, for a prospective third animated intervention. For the ending of my essay, I am not entirely happy with the tone it takes, but I can not find a way to word it any differently. in my conclusion, I am reflecting on the state of marginalized exclusion from the industry, and how I have personally decided to not seek a career through those avenues, and want to strike out as an independent. 

here is an excerpt from my conclusion:

“For me, the path lies wherever I can express myself freely, and for the forseeable future, that doesn’t exist in mainstream cartoons. It is not a comfortable path, there is certainly more money in the industry, but it is comfort with the status quo that perpetuates it. Maybe I will toil just as much as an independent, going just as unnoticed as I would in an office, but I will be able to make the work i feel truly matters. I want to make something that speaks to people like me who are pushed to the margins. Something that makes our lives better, my life better, if only by a little bit. I hope that I can make that happen.”

My intention is to share a message of adaptation, I don’t want my conclusion to sound as hopeless as I think it does, because I’m actually quite excited for my career, and the final animated segment attempts to aid my words in getting this across. 

on this final animate intervention especially, I am open to cuts and ideas from you all, as I am not entirely sure I will include it.

2. research

So since this is an essay, I am not just going to spend 20 minutes ranting about my uneducated opinion. I speak from what I know, and what I know is my personal experience. Not only do I experience many of the things I speak on first hand, I use those experiences to guide my research. 

The first thing I think I should note about my research is that it is almost entirely done on the internet, and to further clarify, I usually dont bother looking for scholarly sources. so before you make assumptions about the rigor of my research, know that I am fully aware that it is all to easy to lie on the internet. Even videos are not safe from being tampered with in this I have grown up with this reality, and cross referencing the information I pull from any of my sources is second nature. For instance, when I searched for “famous queer animators” I saw that there was a wikipedia list of them. While wikipedia is convinient for looking at details about someone, I am aware that the people editing it are not always genuine. I follow the sources cited on the page for the person, and I also plugged the names back into a search engine to see if there were any details about the person having a same sex partner, or openly saying they are gay, elsewhere on the internet. So while using the internet as a main source presents some difficulties, the diversity of voices is really important to me, not everyone is coming from the same background, so I don’t get trapped in a echo chamber.

So why not use academic sources also? First off, I am not making some thesis on the aesthetics of contemporary kids cartoons, so I don’t need such heady sources full of artistic critique jargon Second, the meaningful information I am looking for is the structures of this industry and how it explicitly effects marginalized folks. Academia is among the most exclusionary institutions out there, as there is a stark class divide between who can afford higher education, and who cant. I could make a completely separate thesis on this, and seeking these sources would just muddy my research and make this whole essay less direct.

 This essay is based not only off of my personal history, but the parallel an intertwined history of the animation industry itself. I use my personal experience as a jumping off point to dig into what forces have shaped them.

3. sucess rubric

SO! You know my goals and my process an why Im doing all this now. so lets talk quality. Ill be aiming for success based on the following goals.

Good, non jarring cuts, both in editing out um’s and pauses, throwing in segments from cartoons, and other images, the transitions between each segment of my essay, and the incorporation of my animations.

I want to create a cohesive aesthetic that ties all of these aspects together, through my personal stylings in the trappings of the video (such as my outfit, the backdrop, text overlays, and other visual flairs, 

and Finally, I want my animated interventions to really pop out, and highlight key moments in my video and serve as something that will stick in the viewers mind, reminding them of the ideas expressed, and keeping them coming back to watch.

okay, Im going to time myself talking through this, I’m shooting for 5 minutes.

I got 5 mins 46 seconds. Im pretty happy with that. further edits coming soon!

I adressed the mentor notes.

a note from my mentor:

This all looks really good. The only things I would note are: 1) to include more technical details about the video essay-estimated length, sections, etc

2)you mention that you cross-reference your internet sources, but how do you do this? Perhaps provide an example.

#D has been a funny letter today #oops i forgot to write in my dream journal and I think i forgot everything that happened. shit. #The D key was labeled stuck on the comuter at my work where I am writing this #the D key isnt actually stuck you just need to press it hard enough and at the right angle that it registers that it was pressed #not stuck just a little insensitive #one of my suitors told me he was on the hunt for vitamin D today #I was mildly confused since the sun was out earlier today which is not common for portland #but when i looked out the window to see an overcast sky it became all to clear LOL

[shady-tailors-shack]

Therapy with an Assassin

A resounding crash echoed from the ruins of the village. Malakesh's punch shattered the concrete sending a spiderwebs pattern of disjointed cracks along the wall His Lies made much the same web didnt they? "I'm not going to so stop. Simulation over-" "The simulation is not over until your session is concluded. By my count your stress level and overall hormones have been let go of and as such have caused a-" "I know the science so shut up, ladies sake..." The clone had been forced to run a makeshift therapy session. Mal's mind was a mess and needed a bit of introspection. "So, let's touch on a few more issues, specifically your black box within the corner of your mind. We both know what's in it." "Yeah, so why the fuck are you bringing it up?" Malakesh walked to the clone, his knuckles busted yet rearranging themselves on their own. His healing resetting his bone and forcing his bleeding to halt, there was to be no evidence of his night. "Because my programming has detecting a bit of a soft spot relating to those murders." "Yeah, 2 million in 3 months. Kinda forces you to..." He couldn't finish the sentence as the shock hit him. He'd pushed those 3 months to as far back as he could. He couldn't face those memories, not yet... "Well... It's time we addressed the uh... flash drive of sorts... containing that box." "No. We're not giving it to them... They hate me as it is, they don't need to add more war crimes to add to my trials." "But haven't you thought about it?" The voice changed. Why? Glancing to the clone, it's form had grown hazy yet more feminine... it was him... an aspect of him. "Yeah. And it's a shitty idea. Don't pressure that." "Oh but you're so full of them aren't you? Let's list off some shall we?" "How about n-" "Fighting Equilibrium on your own as soon as you met her. Wow that was shitty wasn't it?" He'd had his ass handed to him, but it was also the night he'd died. After he had disappeared for a night or two to think, he tossed the thoughts to the back of his head and went after her in as awful a fight as he could've been in. "You let little Valmara plant a laser in your chest and took it. You died and thought nothing of it..." "Yeah? What of it? I accepted my death and got pulled back without so much as a hindsighted question. They wanted to keep me apparently and yet they never act it-" "Well you've given them few reasons to. You found the shady edgy persona based on your armor and demeanor and stuck to it." He didn't have much else to say against that. Yeah... He went full shit show. He tried to help, got shut out, said fuck it and cultivated the title of assassin... And everything with it. "So... what about it..." "It fits you. A mass murdering science project with a conscious? It's not poetic but I'm sure stories would paint you as tortured and humble. The enigma of the group eh?" "If I have my way poetry won't remember me..." His snarled words were reflections of his choices. "I've done enough and made enough enemies, I wont let literature remember me, just my actions." "Well that's much of the same now isn't It? By remembering your actions they're remembering you." "No. They will know what I've done, but not the name or face associated with the action." Lashing out rapidly, the clones chest held a fist sized hole in it before melting down. "You... do realize that that accomplished nothing." "It made me feel better didn't it?" "At the cost of energy and Nanites." Running the therapy sim in and of itself was a waste of energy and nanites, but it helped him as well. "Can we just move on? I need to get back to the party-" "Let's talk about them then. Why do you stay?" "-I... what?" "Why. Do you stay?" Mal turned to face the carbon copy of himself staring him down. When the Sim wanted to it could be downright scary... "I... Because they need me." "Lie. They've covered every base you cover. Stealth, precision driving. Marksmanship, assassination, diplomacy, language, cooking-" "Ok when you're done." "I am." "Fine. I stay because I feel i can help. If it's just another body for the pile then its at least another second for them to figure something out." At least a tinge of that was true. "But they never do do they? Brute force and zero tact seems to be the way of things, am i wrong?" "Yeah! You're absolutely wrong, look at Nad-" "The one time he had to prove to you why you shouldn't do something was met with pure brute force and mental strength. The aspect was it not? He tried to demonstrate how fruitless your efforts of saving the Aspect of Dreams by forcing his way into her mind and failing miserably." And it was true wasn't it. It echoed out way to vividly for him not to remember. "He did his best-" "Wrong. He simply did what he wanted. The party went along because they believed simple show of force was everything. So much so that when faced with something far stronger than them like the Arch-Angel or even the Fragment of Xil, they folded. They didn't fight until backed into a corner even though they'd faced far worse odds." So why did he stay? "Yeah... Which is why they need me then isn't it. To show them the alternative. To find the way through the situation that doesn't involve blind fighting every target." "No. They can do that on their own, they dont need you at all and have made that very clear." "Then what the hell should i do huh? Leave? The few times ive tried they hunt me down and drag me back. This group is an abusive relationship that refuses to let go!" "Try again" "Try what? Huh? Leaving? Like hell. Only way they'll leave me be is if they assume ive died and they've dealt with my fake death one too many times." Anything else for the clone to try and debunk? Psychoanalyze? Can't be much- "Final point before we conclude your session. Your relationship with the previous director and what you believe your purpose to be." I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that thjs wont end well for Malakesh. "Fine." "Go on then... We're waiting." "The Director created me to kill yet gave me skill set befitting a biological weapon. I can kill single targets, eliminate entire cities, and subvert groups and cults with impunity. Yet he also have me the mental wherewithal and skills befitting a guard with a subset allowing me to guard those same targets without being noticed." "So you're a tool in all sense of the word?" "Yeah fuck you too Mr. Therapy Bot." Though the sim had a point. What was he to begin with? "You were woken up with a singular order. Kill. And you followed it. You didn't disobey, you didn't know how. Yet here we are with you not exterminating everything in a twelve mile radius." "What of it." "The mercenaries made you soft." "They made me aware of whats right and wrong fuck you. I'm not just a killing machine, I am perfectly capable of free will-" "Yet any time you're given an order you follow. Not without incentive that is." "Survival is a wonder incentive isnt it?" How long had it been since he thought about those early days with Boss? "So then, what do we want to do with that wonderful memory?" "What?" "You saw him again, Boss? What happens when the party finds out you were the cause of one groups deaths. Same group that saved you and you killed them-" "They couldn't be allowed to talk." "So rather than explain things to them you opted to kill them." "Under the ambush yeah. I'll admit. 3 of them died by my hands and the rest caught in the crossfire." "That's a lie as well isn't it... You killed them all. Your presence alone killed them. The moment they found you they were dead." "Not true, they chose to help me-" "Without knowing they'd choose something that's being hunted. They chose to help you because of morals but I'm positive that knowing the full details they'd've slit your throat while you laid in that net unconscious." "End Simulation, code 7." Malakesh was barely holding back tears as he barked out the kill code. The clone disintegrating in seconds as he fell on his backside, sitting up with a heavy head. "I know... Im just scared..."

#Malakesh Trash