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britneyshakespeare · 7 months

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So I was back to subbing at the elementary school today, which as I've mentioned is my favorite place to work. In some ways it's just the most comfortable to me; this is now my fourth year in a row I've had some kind of job associated with kids of that age group who attend that school, so I know a lot of the students and faculty. Actually, a lot of the faculty who work there today have been working there since I was a student.

Most of them recognized me immediately when I started showing my face there, like I didn't graduate from there over a decade ago, age 11. There was one para, who now works as a library assistant, but who used to monitor lunch and recess. I didn't remember her name but I knew her face. The first time she saw me subbing she was just like "oh, hi Diana."

I was talking to her this morning before school started because a first grade teacher unexpectedly called out, so I filled in for her for the first hour of the day before I started the job I clocked in for and a replacement could be found. But this library assistant usually leads the morning meetings with this first grade class and would help me with attendance and all those other beginning-of-the-day responsibilities.

She was saying to me "You know, why don't you work here full time? You're good with kids. You'd be good at it." In other small talk we'd had last year she had asked me similar things, like if I'd ever consider taking up a steady job at the elementary school, how my school was going, etc. I'm in between college right now but currently not taking classes. And I mentioned how I'm trying to take more sub jobs at the middle and high school so I get more well-rounded—that actually is the age group my education major is in. I've been working with the preschool-to-fifth-grade age range but my plan has always been middle-to-high school English.

And I was telling her about that, and I was like "You know what? When I tell people I want to teach older kids, some say to me stuff like 'oh you never know, you might change your mind'—and only recently I've been wondering if I really would. But I hate it when they're right!"

And that made her laugh. But it's true! I do really love working with the littles, as it turns out. Been doing it several years now. But in terms of anyone who's ever mentioned that to me unprompted, I wanna be like... hey, what do you know?!?!

#i have complicated feelings about it #my elementary school is a good place to work though. maybe i would be a para or smth full-time. id consider it #tales from diana #it's just. actually no one would ever say that to a man lol. that's probably why that bothers me #altho. i did actually get my one friend to start subbing in the district too.#male friend. my age. does other stuff for work so he doesn't sub as much as i do.#has the same level of education as me but has considered becoming a teacher someday and i was like 'why not try subbing?'#so i sent him the application and then that was that #and he. like a lot of men. doesnt primarily WANT to teach elementary or early childhood.#great news btw. a 5th grade teacher retired at the end of last year and one of the new hires is the first #male classroom teacher this school has had in YEARS. the only other male teacher is the gym teacher. thats SAD #but yeah so i was telling him 'i know u might be intimidated by working w kids but you should really try it'#'you might like it more than you think'#what's funny is tutoring and working in childcare didn't make me feel like i wanted to start teaching younger. at ALL #but subbing around has made me rethink it. but then again it also might just be #i get the most boring ass shit to do when i sub at the middle or high school.#subbing at an elementary school is so much more involved no matter what youre doing #with olders it's like. ok here's your assignment your teacher left you. sit at your desk and shut up #i realize the bias that is at play here making me reconsider my future path lol.

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ikyw-t · 7 months

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I do relate to olivia rodrigo in some ways for example I did have nightmares each week (every day for months) after that phone call in may (march). I fantasize (once every other blue moon) about a time where you're a little fucking sorry. except I do not hold my undying love (there is not even an iota of love, if there ever was) like a grudge and also I will never ever forgive bc you were indeed filled with vitriol. and unfortunately I also cannot let it go. it was six months (three years) of torture. I did NOT love you truly and I cannot laugh at the stupidity. I may have made some real big mistakes but you do indeed make the worst one look fine. like..............

#sorry i know this is cringe and something i should just journal about #ive just had a very shitty day and also kinda week #ive just been tired and lethargic for no clear reason for the past five days and it's very frustrating #bc i have homework due tomorrow that ive barely made any progress on #and i kinda rly need an A in this class to maintain my gpa. so if one bad week means i tank this assignment and get a B in this class #oh dread. unspeakable unsurmountable dread #also i went on a walk in the park w my mom which i haven't done in a bit and i just was unable to stop thinking #about my high school demon of a boyfriend who lives nearby. altho he literally never goes outside i sometimes get rly freaked out #and panicky that i might see him and have to deal with him again. like he did call (AND TEXT?!?🤢) me last march #and i was having nightmares for months after and feeling so paranoid that he might randomly show up at my house one day #bc that's the kind of shit he used to do regularly when we were dating to keep me from breaking up w him #and like ughhhhhhhhhh it just makes me so upset bc he literally would have the audacity.#it's just upsetting. i am soooo nonviolent as a person but when i think of him i suddenly feel not very nonviolent #again my apologies i know this should be journaled about instead. sorry u had to see all this #feel free not to read these tags like this is just for me. apologies.#while im here some other songs that make me think of him include would've could've should've. atw10 but only the terrible parts #uhh better by myself by hey violet is incredibly on the nose #also it's actually just a rly great song. also get out of my life by little hurt. okay im done now.#gonna go find something funny and cute to watch. maybe little witch academia.#sorry if u read all this 😵‍💫

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escapewiththestars · 1 year

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fromdarzaitoleeza · 6 months

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This post is not related to literature, books or art , please skip the post since that's what u thought and stumbled upon it , this post is all about me and my personal thoughts on various chain of things in my life , which I want to write down here since Tumblr has been my safe place .

I went through my blog yesterday and tried to look up what i have been posting since the last few months, it gave me a lot of blue vibes altho it is a representation of what's going on in my head , on Tumblr specifically I only post what goes through me & what I been feelin , I have lived in every peice of quote I have posted over the span of months, i have resonated with them not just only once but multiple times over the period of time , but I don't want to post them always, I want to feel so many other emotions that exist out there so that I can post about them , intimacy love happiness faith youth friendship I want to feel them I want them to happen to me the way I feel blue heavily, intensely ,constantly ! I post on this blog so I can find people who have felt things that I have felt so that I know I am not the only person who has felt it this way & again I sometimes think about the people who felt the same things as they felt and wonder how miserable it has been for them too. I am never not thinking about the quote from van Gogh when he says I want people to touch me through my art I want people to feel my art I want them to say oh he feels deeply he feels deeply.

This year has undoubtedly been one of the worst years of my life i have suffered great losses not just of people but also of the person I was , I don't recall a single day in this year when I looked in the mirror and felt happy looking at myself ( I am not talking about the physical appearance here ) . This year has made me weak on all levels & i can't write down all the reasons for it cuz they won't justify anything, this year I have spent more time somewhere else rather than in myself, despite what i am writing here trust me I am a very optimistic person I still keep the faith & hope to do better in life everyday I am the person who will fall down ninety nine times and stand tall again on hundredth, i don't give up and sometimes i think thats what goes wrong with me I don't know when to give up which l believe has significantly hurted me over many things , indeed nothing has hurted me than my very being & my mistake cuz i have done a lot of them but the what makes me more ridiculous is I am the most intelligent person in my family tree and it's branches ( no i am not trying to praise myself)my opinions/choices are asked for decision making over lot of important things in their life which amusingly fits them well and satisfies them but the same wisdom/intelligence doesn't benefit me,it has caused me more damage than good , I read the quote from Bukowski where he says "Sadness is caused by intelligence, the more you understand certain things, the more you wish you didn't understand them" and i have never looked at myself in the same way again

As much as I believe in efforts and action I also believe some things are not just subjectivity enough with them for example my experience with love and friendship, i believe one of strongest reason I loved Leeza was the resemblance of our tragedies in the past , there is quote from nagato ( pain from Naruto shippden) where he says "" unless people comprehend the pain as others they truly cannot understand one other"" here the pain i and Leeza shared was very much similiar I thought we would understand each other best out of anyone in this planet, which made to put my 100% into loving her but unfortunately that was not enough

I wanted to meet people who would want to understand me ( only /atleast those who already knew me inside out) based on the way I did things and what happened to me & how much of what changed me overtime as a person, because i don't want to explain each time I do something to the person who already knows about me ,maybe this doens't make a lot of sense since this by far has been the most delusional thing I have ever thought of , I have never met someone as such i am being very honest about it ,and this is solely due to my own fault I am an over expaliner cuz i think people are overthinkers ( simply because I am one) .

I am trying my very best to change my life in every way i can , even if things aren't beautiful I am grateful that I am alive, i will always hope that things will get beautiful over time, sincerely and most Genuinely I want to feel those things ,i can not describe how badly i want nice things to happen to me , how i would like to be friends with someone who won't hurt me & to be loved by someone deeply enough that i can find my peace in them.

#this post is long and unfinished i would like to write down all of it but i am too tired to write everything down rn

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razberryyum · 2 years

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Favorite moments from MDZS manhua chapter 253 - 254:

(covers novel chaps 109 - 111, adapted in audio drama S3Ep16-17, donghua ep 35 & The Untamed ep 50)

The Guanyin Temple saga comes to an end

Chapter 253 from last week consisted mostly of Wei Ying sleuthing and figuring out who's the mastermind behind everything since his return

All of a sudden WangXian looking super chibi cute comes outta nowhere to attac

I just... really liked these flashback panels of when Wei Ying first returned, then as Yiling Laozu and then getting to see Mo Xuanyu as himself before Wei Ying took over his body. Thank you MXY for giving up your life and body so WangXian could finally be together. I hope you're happy wherever you are now, and may your next life be tons happier than the one you gave up.

Chapter 254:

Wei Ying's reaction 😂😂😂

I'm amazed Uncle Lan didn't spit up blood.

Seeing the juniors flock to WangXian made me a little emotional. Uncle's reaction just made it more perfect. Also I think this is the first time I heard anyone call Wei Ying "Laozu Qianbei". 😂 If it happened before I somehow missed it.

😢😢😢

Yes this got me emotional too 😢😢😢

And this too...Jiang Cheng looking on like an outsider. Also the soft look he had on top when he was talking about Chengqing. If MXTX-laoshi ever was generous enough to produce one more extra, I really hope it includes a scene where WangXian has dinner together with Big Bro Xichen, Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling, and the other juniors, and they're all happy and having a great time.

😭😭😭 This is the final stretch folks, just two more book chapters to cover and the main story will come to its conclusion. The manhua sped through chapter 110 this time so who knows how quickly it'll cover the last two main chapters. There's of course the full on consummation ppp scene coming up but I'm not holding my breath that we'll get much for that officially (hopefully manhua artist MTXJJ-laoshi will post the uncut version on her Twitter). I really hope they'll cover the extra book chapters too cuz contrary to what some people have been led to think, it's not just about WangXian ppping (altho there is definitely a good amount of that too🔥). The extras are so wonderful and I really hope they get covered in the manhua as well.

Official raws of the manhua (behind paywall): Kuaikanmanhua

Order English release of the og MDZS novels (mother of all adaptations) at Sevenseasdanmei

MDZS carrd for all adaptations of MDZS: here

Thank you to Exiled Rebels for first fan-translating the novel!

Panel translations by this lowly one, shortcomings are therefore inevitable.

#mo dao zu shi #mdzs #wangxian #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the untamed #founder of diabolism #wei wuxian #lan wangji #mdzs manhua #lan qiren #lan sizhui #mo xuanyu #jin ling #jin fairy #jiang cheng #nie huaisang

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vampirealpaca · 3 months

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My thoughts on the pjo show (now that the season is over) (this is going to run long) Overall Rating: 8/10 :

Ok first of all, I actually LOVED the show and the cast is literally awesome; I do have some thoughts and feelings tho.

The GOOD :D

The visuals were eating ngl

THE CAST!!!! they literally were amazing cannot stress this enough

I think a lot of the changes were handled super well, especially Medusa (although I don't love all of the changes...see below in the next section lol)

I LOVED the set design for pretty much all of the scenes!!! Like the set & costuming was literally so good; sometimes it looked a little Volume-y but I think it's ok since they also clearly did a bunch of on-location stuff

Driving scene was literally so funny like no notes on that + the acting was On Point pretty much All of the Time.

I actually think they slayed with the special effects

Pretty accurate! (overall a waaaaaay better adaptation than the movies)

BLUE FOOD!!!!

More Sally content was awesome!! And I cannot stress this enough the ACTORS WERE SO GOOD in their roles!! Like I think they were the perfect choices ngl and I hope to see more of them in season 2 (if we get one, idk if its greenlit yet)

I also liked how they focused on Grover's character more (lowkey my fav now)

Genuinely had a great time watching the scenes from the books I've loved since Forever come to life onscreen!

The character dynamics were GIVING

Loved getting more info about Percy's backstory

The way they showed the Mist was honestly so cool!! This might be filed under Visuals but still...it was so cool

Fight choreo fluctuated, but I liked the Percy vs Luke fight (altho the scorpion erasure ;-;)

Again the chemistry with the actors like adkjhfdkjdfkjhdfjkhk I think the acting may have been my fav part honestly lol

All of the easter eggs for the fans!!

Rick's subtle rewriting of the story was sometimes very cool! (Like with the water grabbing Percy etc) --- you can definitely tell that he's thinking about how he'd change the story if he were to write it today

...HOWEVER i have gripes :(

THE LIGHTING WAS TOO DARK IN NIGHT SCENES!!!! HATE THAT TROPE WHY CANT I SEEEEEEEE (looking at u medusa scene)

I feel like they should've fallen into like…at least one trap without Knowing Everything about it. Like, I get the Medusa change and am pretty on board with it, but I feel like a few of the other changes weren't really necessary & messed with the stakes. A lot of the time it felt like I was watching them explain "Oh you're THIS person so you will do THIS so I will do THIS" instead of like...showing me.

Not enough blood (this is prob a Disney problem, not the show creators fault but like...cmon Disney...they have swords, let the children get More Injured...they are Fighting for their Lives)

Felt kinda...dryer than the books? idk how to explain it...like it felt like there wasn't the same Vibes in some parts if that makes sense, like they switched out a lot of funny moments (esp with how they changed Charon and the Crusty scenes lowkey im bitter)

the tone was definitely sometimes waaay different from the books (like it was way more serious I think, which is good sometimes and less good other times)

Idk if this is 100% true bc my last reread was a few months ago, but I think they separated the main trio more than in the book (?), it felt like they were duo-ed with diff members for a lot rather than building off of their main dynamic -- they had some trio moments but ig i just wanted more (again, I could be wrong on this one tho)

Lotus Casino not really being as Fun (the pumping lotus flowers in the air was a cool detail tho!)

It generally felt like they took a lot of the funny parts in favor of talking more about how messed up the gods are (which I liked sometimes!! but the kids are 12 let them have more funny moments too yaknow) (Rip the Died in the Bathtub line...gone but not forgotten)

I really didn't love the changes that made the story feel more Cliche and Basic (the ones that annoyed me were changing the entire DOA to just Some Standard Death Eater Looking Fellow & Annabeth's interactions with Cerebus being completely changed)

Mixed feelings on Gabe...I wanted him to be more evil at the beginning but I get why they changed it ig. Plus he was literally so funny when he (spoilers?) got murdered by opening someone else's mail. That's what happens when you commit a federal crime ig.

General Character Thoughts:

PERCY: Walker Scobell was such a good casting call... like you can tell he really cares about the books & getting the character right. Acting was on point, sass was on point (but I do wish he got to be sassy a bit More); Really gives off the energy of Percy Jackson and definitely was AMAZING in this role!

ANNABETH: She was spectacular in this role!! Leah got literally all of Annabeth down to a T --- her kindness, her pride, her wisdom, etc etc without resorting to any kind of "stock smart girl" vibe. She was literally SO GOOD! I loved seeing her talk about her dad, and the detail about her not having seen a movie is such a mood and so in-character lowkey. Leah really nailed Annabeth's dry humor and general vibe like dfajkhfdjhkfdhjk

GROVER: He was my favorite! Like, his acting was AMAZING fr!!! They brought a lot of newer things into his character that I think worked really well & it definitely strengthened his characterization --- he was also really funny & so sincere I just loved his portrayal of Grover!

HOWEVER I think some of the arcs are shakier since the characters didn't struggle as much, since they were figuring out a Lot of things

Overall, I took 2 points from the rating because the Spirit and Humor weren't fully there and I felt some of the changes made it feel less like the OG and more cliche (looking at u Charon). However, the great acting, pretty slay writing (except for the tone stuff), Vibes, and all the other stuff I think they did right pulled through to get it ranked a little higher lol. Plus, I liked it, even if I didn't like all of it.

No hate if u loved the show adaptation tho!! Feel free to disagree, these are just my thoughts lol. I really genuinely hope there's going to be a season 2, although I would like if they fix a few of these problems in that potential season (please...let me see what's happening in the dark scenes...please...)

#pjo tv show #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #review #percy jackson and the olympians tv show #pjo series

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cindyneilly-arts · 7 months

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IT'S THE MAN, THE RACCOON, THE LEGEND

✨Neilya Cinders✨

Told ya I will make a ref! I was just very lazy!!!

Thanks you @amoexii for the service of a ref sheet, 🫡 I will now join in with the line of artists with mc ref sheets 🎉

Also who wants some more fun facts? Ya'll? Well *opens floodgates* HERE YA GO:

1. She was born on November 26✨ and a short lil feller going about 5'2 ft (157 cm) (It was the Filipino genes)

2. She got the ADHD goodness, doing late night zoomies and have the greatest urges to play with her wand at all times. I mean, why else would her weakness would deadlines amirite?/j

3. As said in the first fact, and a post before, she's a Filo-Brit! Her mama's a Filipino and her pop's a white guy from 1985/jjj (please take the reference of this joke PLEASE take the reference of this joke at that year pop's is like... 14 years old lmao)

Aside that she is also a half-blood. Her mom's the pureblood and dad's a muggleborn.

Mom's a researcher and taught Neilya a few spells before she went to Hogwarts (reason why she's a menace with Incendio) and Pop's is a magizoologist who made Neilya hyperfixate on magical creatures. And magical creatures are cool

Especially the dangerous ones like fire crabs and screwts and dragons and-

Tldr: Cool af parents.

4. She's bisexual and bigender. Although she'd pass as her assigned gender at birth most of the time (AFAB) he loves to spice it up and look masc (especially as he got older). And now she just basically ping-pongs between the two for euphoria and giggles.

Just yk, not giving two shits how she presents (ok a lil bit, but juuuust a lil bit.)

5. She can play the electric guitar and know a thing or two about self-defense/punching the shit outta people. Why would she ever need to learn the last one? Bc sometimes going physical on a person is ✨satisfying✨

6. Although he looks like she's the last person you should put in the kitchen, Neilya is a great cook! And she visits the Hogwarts Kitchen nightly or whenever she has time to chat with the elves and show them new (*ahem*Asian and other*ahem*) dishes to try.

7. So protective of her loved ones, she is. Her grandmother, Lola Eli, taught her the Alvarez family belief to be strong enough to protect their relatives/loved ones no matter what to any extent, and she helps Neilya be strong enough to do so. So sweet of her huh?

8. Last! ^^ Her nicknames are Nel, Nelsy, and Iya. Altho Iya is just for her mom and her side of the family cause it sounds like iha lol.

Ok done with the facts, see you guys around next time✨

#cindyneilly's arts #harry potter magic awakened #hpma #magic awakened #hpma original character #hpma mc #neilya cinders

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definitelynotshouting · 7 months

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okay hello hi here to shout again because I have ROTATING the hunger lore for DAYS

ECOSYSTEMSSSSS!!! LETS GOOOO!!! did I do well in biology? No!!! I did not :D but ecosystems I know bby!!! MOONS AND STARS ABOVE I love the way it's all connected to like this huge ecosystem and the Watchers being almost gone, the Seekers being completely gone, and rhe Listeners relatively new!! Like?? That's so extremely clever and fascinating to me, and I love the way things are out of balance now bc!!! Yea!!! That's how ecosystems be!!

And also!!! It opens all these new thoughts!!! Like, I can't remember exactly if you said WHY the Watchers decided to take Grian, but if you didn't then like!!!! It opens up these possibilities of the Watchers trying to build back their population, which opens even MORE doors like "are they trying this with other players or was Grian the first/last?" And "would building their population out of Players actually help if Player-Watchers are different?" LIKE IM MEANT TO BE DOING SCHOOLWORK BUT I AM ROTATING

(and also. Love the way Grian became a Watcher. Can't remember if you specified the why (will go back and look) or if you're keeping it secret for now, but!! I love considering the ways populations adapt and survive to great loss and near extinction. It's very different from my own lore (living weapon Grian. Watchers took him to be a soldier bc Watchers and Listeners can't harm each other) so it's so fun to just think about and!!! Yeah!!! That's all I got!!!

Once again :D love your au <3 love your world building and your writing!! Was going to just send the one ask, but I cannot stop rotating your au!!! :D

-Wren

AAAAAA thank you so much!!!! :D im really pleased that everyone likes the ecosystem stuff-- ive been kinda noodling on it for a while because ecosystems are just so neat to me and it made a lot of sense to develop one when i decided Watchers were parasitic in this verse!!!!

I think ive only mentioned this offhand once or twice, but youve absolutely nailed the entire reason the Watchers took Grian-- they're trying to rebuild their population. Grian was essentially the beginning of an experiment to see if this was a suitable way to do that!!!

Actually lemme dive into that real fast, because i dont think i actually have before, at least not publicly. Something to note about Watcher life cycles is that they take comparatively a LONG time. Specifically, Watcher larvae take around a year to incubate within their hosts, and then once they "hatch" (altho "emerge" might be a better word for it) the juveniles take far longer to grow up and teach. And because these things are basically made out of wet tissue paper, theyve got a pretty high mortality rate.

So to get around that, and to try and get around the fact that juveniles often die because they dont know how to feed properly yet and often overextend themselves, why not try and copy the memory code of something fully grown and sentient and just... transfer it to a larva, so its easier to teach?? I feel like it kinda highlights the desperation the Watchers are feeling, that they'd go for this kind of wild experimentation, but it did technically work!!!

They just uh. Didnt account for the insane trauma that would cause, because to them Players are typically just viewed as food sources. Very orange and blue morality, in terms of their value systems compared to Players'.

Grian demonstrated to them that while its possible to rebuild this way on a technical level, its not actually feasible socially speaking. Grian ran from them because of the trauma they inflicted, and that sorta defeats the purpose of Watcherificating a Player so they can add to the community's population 💀💀💀💀 so yeah i'd say Grian is probably both the first and last experiment of his kind, if only because its just not reasonable to continue if your new Watchers are going to escape containment and flee to the ends of the universe every single time you make one /lh

I really love your concept with Watcher!Grian being a weapon, thats INSANELY neat holy shit!!!! Im feeling Things™ about that, i would absolutely love to hear more if you decide you want to tell me!!! It sounds like youve got some really cool symbolism in your lore, and i live for that shit >:]

Skdnwjfnmej anyway theres my own insane ramble to match your deeply flattering compliments, seriously thank you im so astonished people love this stuff so much, it makes me very very happy to know other people are spinning my concepts around in their heads :D feel free to send as many asks as you want!! I always love chatting with people :]

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #compliments #grian #watcher grian #evo watchers #mcyt #minecraft worldbuilding #grian is the watchers' fucked up lab baby and i think thats INCREDIBLY funny for them to have #imagining the watchers just gazing off into the distance as grian yeets. like damn. there goes our field experiment ig #smth smth the butterfly story from my own family lore. insanely funny to me #long post #txt

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rontra · 6 months

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So, given you are interested in DC, or at least aspects of it and RWBY I am curious what your thoughts were on the recent crossover? I assume positive given the art, which s amazing by the by. Also low key curious if you have any "born in DC" headcanon for superhero RWBY. No pressure though.

THE MOVIE YOU MEAN??? well first off thank you hahahah

& for #2 i don't really have any headcanons like that ... somehow i struggle with conceptualizing rwby crossovers w my other interests in general. (maybe it's because rwby's language is so specific to me i struggle to translate in or out of it????)

i do think however we should rank dc characters on how competently they could solve the salem situation /j*

the movies... i watched them back to back in the same night of course, so it was very funny to like, go directly from v7 to post-v9. they were like Guys you will not believe the shit that happened to us since last time we spoke

of course it's crossover spinoff material and not that important to me in the grand scheme of things. so my mode of interaction with it is mostly Enjoying A Light Snack. i can't say i have many capital t Thoughts that are worth posting about individually bc of that. but i DID enjoy the post-v9 aspect of movie2 bc like--altho obviously they can't dig into this shit in a crossover spinoff film--it still gives somewhat of an inclination towards what the writing room is thinking about. ruby especially i had a great time with. how's figuring out the summer rose shit going for you girl (BADLY) (LOL)

oh and omg invoking raven's name ... RAVEN MENTIONED... (to yang no less. heh)

a lot of salem namedrops in movie2 as well which i did chuckle about every time. speaking of, salem not going to vacuo Bolstered... hee hee hoo hoo... pleaaase give me evil gang meetup at beacon pleaaase

movie1 was a special treat for me because i loved all the "this doesn't make any sense this doesnt add up" Memory/Continuity/Spatial fuckery. i could've genuinely watched two full movies about rwby characters going "wait, that doesn't make any sense" at each other. i REALLY enjoyed that. very good show. pyrrha moment very fun also

i think zatanna shouldve showed up in movie2. for me.

i thought i was gonna miss bat ears brucie baby from the RWBYxJL comic more than i did. i think of him so fondly. but wings were kinda fun .... 🦇

movie1 had a little too much diana characterization disease for me to enjoy her. but that's so common its barely worth leveraging as Specific To This Movie. and i feel like she barely talked in movie2 so jury's still out on that. but of course there's a fair bit of wriggle room for the dc characters (in movie1 especially) as well given the "its a random ass crossover so the meta stakes have never been lower + they all got Genuine Teenager Brain for the whole first movie anyway"

movie2 had some pretty cool animation moments that i really noticed. movie1 wasnt like Awful but movie2 was the one where i perked up like "oh, that animation looked cool", you know? also i really liked the models they made for team rwby. the stylization felt nicely balanced to me?...if that makes sense. i hope we can see more models like them in the future just for me. idc who uses them but its my christmas wish RT please

final evaluation: better than DC/RWBY the comic. here is my favorite screenshot

so true girls<3

*wonder woman could fix everything i know this about her

#this is just a Loose Collection of Thoughts I Had. none of this is insightful. but since u asked HDBHJFD #tl;dr “yeah”

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leeyanyanyaaan · 10 months

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a curtain away - han jisung

-archival-

an incomplete hospital fic i found in my notes from last year when i was admitted to the hospital lol XD can be read as romantic or platonic. lighthearted/fluffy, altho bittersweet at the end but no angst. no warnings except for the fact that this is a hospital-centered fic so there's gonna be a lot of mention of sicknesses and stuff lol. and also rushed/incomplete ending oof honestly if someone wants to yoink this idea and make it better then by all means feel free to XD

"a curtain away"

han jisung x reader

platonic/romantic/friends to lovers - reader's interpretation

fluff, crack, sickfic, hospitalfic, bittersweet ending?

warning: hospital jargon, mentions of asthma (both reader and jisung are asthmatic), pneumonia, and other sicknesses, but no deaths or anything graphic/severe.

first person pov

"great. here i am again." i thought to myself as the nurse led me into a single room in the emergency department.

though it was nothing compared to the asthma attacks i had as a child, it was still rather painful to breath with the intense tightening in my chest paired with this high fever i have, so here i was.

to be honest, i didn't think it was bad enough to be sent to the hospital for, but being an asthmatic, i understood my parents worries.

i wanted to go home soon though...

after the nurses' many testings and medications, in the end, they admitted me to an overnight stay in the ED. then they extended my stay for another day, moving me to the assessment and diagnostic unit. well, at least it wasn't a ward.

in fact, this is where i met han jisung.

the room i was moved into was a four unit room, two of which already being occupied, with one being ready to moved into a ward, as i heard on the way in. after setting everything up, the nurses left me be to rest.

second person pov

you never planned on poking my nose into the other patients' businesses, no one does really, but hearing a loud crash from beside you raised a lot of concern, i mean what if someone was hurt?!

it didn't take long for you to debate with yourself before coming to a decision. slipping on your shoes and putting on a medical mask just in case, you get off your bed and step out from your curtains, now standing in front of another. you inhale nervously before opening the curtains of your roommate.

on the other side of the messy, unoccupied bed, was a boy on the floor, who seemed to be around your age, rubbing his backside in pain. he fell...

"uhm... are you okay?" you ask meekly. realizing that someone was in his space, his eyes widen and turn to you, frantic.

"dude! you'll get in trouble if they see you in here and not in bed!"

"i-i know! but how could i not be worried when i just heard a huge crash?!"

then the boy turned away, face now flushed with red. oh no, was he having a fever this whole time? or-

"...i fell trying to get out of bed to the toilet..."

you look at the toilet in front of him. so that's what it was... you look back at the boy who was yet to get off the floor.

"are you okay though? you seem to be in a lot of pain..."

"i-i'll be fine... i'll get up... soon..." was his weak response.

you briefly glance at the unlit "call" button above his bed. there you also saw his name.

'jisung han...'

you wanted to help the poor guy up off the floor, but like he said, you'd probably get in trouble for being in another patient's space.

"i think you should call your nurse just in case."

you see jisung's hand peak out and silently press the green button next to his bed, which you chuckle quietly at.

"alright, i'll leave you alone now neighbor. but if no one comes in five minutes i'm going out there to ask for a nurse."

thankfully one came in at four minutes and 30 seconds (you we're checking your phone, ready to go out there and cause a fuss /hj).

after everything was sorted out, you wanted to see how the jisung guy was doing. but you didn't want to risk anything more by entering his space again, and talking/shouting between each other from your beds felt kinda silly. then you got an idea... though yes, it did require a bit of shouting lol

"hey neighbour?" he hums in response; you've gotten his attention! "by any chance do you have discord?"

"i do, why?"

"wanna be friends and chat there?"

he chuckles at your straightforwardness, but agrees nonetheless. after verbally exchanging discord ids, you moved your conversation to dms.

HANJI

This is the beginning of your direct message history with @/hanji.

----- Jul 10, 2015 -----

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:06 PM

(you send the wumpus wave sticker)

hi :D

hanji Today at 12:06 PM

hiii :)

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:07 PM

lol u have a cute usrname XD

fits very nicely w ur name hehe

hanji Today at 12:07 PM

oh? how do u know my name 🤨 should i be concerned 🤨

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:07 PM

your name's written above your bed on the whiteboard dummy.

hanji Today at 12:08 PM

you couldn't help but burst into laughter at his response. you heard jisung shout a begrudging "hey" at you, but your contagious (not a nice word for a hospital setting lol XD) joy has reached him too as he laughed along in the end.

hanji Today at 12:09 PM

hey, but if you know my name, then i think you should let me know yours too!!!

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:09 PM

hmmmm 🤔 lets see...

maybe u should wait for the nurse to come in so u can hear her say it 🥰

hanji Today at 12:10 PM

heyyyy noooo dont leave me like this 😩😩😩

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:10 PM

ahaha i was just joking XD

my name is (y/n) (l/n)!

nice to meet you 😊

hanji Today at 12:10 PM

sweet, nice to meet you too (y/n) :)

actually, i think im registered here w my korean name, but u can call me by my english name if u want to

which is peter

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:11 PM

mmmm i think id like to call u by ur korean name instead

or even ur discord usr

its cute ;)

hanji Today at 12:11 PM

awh, you think im cute? 🥺

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:11 PM

i said ur usrname but yknow what maybe i should take that back 🙄

(you lied, you did think he's cute)

hanji Today at 12:12 PM

WHAT

DONT I WAS JUST KIDDING AJSBSKSNS

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:12 PM

AHAHAHAJDBKA

anyways

whats your story? how did you get here?

so jisung told his story. he's an asthmatic like you, and unfortunately he just went through an asthma attack the night before. luckily, he responded to treatment well and wasn't needed to be brought into the intensive care unit. you sighed in relief for him, glad he was fairing well. then he asked about you. you told him everything from when you got admitted to the hospital, about how you have a bacterial infection, but was also diagnosed with pneumonia, which is a no-no especially for asthmatics.

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:20 PM

so since being admitted here theyve been giving me antibiotics thru the iv line to help w the infection and probably avoid it from getting as more serious

ngl theyre also probably keeping me here bc of my asthma aksnamnsms

hanji Today at 12:21 PM

man

us asthmatics gotta stick together 😔✊

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:21 PM

indeed *holds up blue inhaler* 😔✊

after hearing each other's stories, you two move on to more lighthearted topics: your interests, hobbies, music, school; being the same age, it was pretty easy for you two to get along well. despite chatting online, you would react as if he was physically talking to you, and he'd do the same, filling your hospital room with joyous sounds of laughter. it'd even amuse the nurses who come to do their regular check up on you and him when they heard that you were having a nice time with the other patient (though they'd occassionally tease you, asking if you were in a romantic relationship with him, or that it was fate (the latter made your heart race oop))

your mom came to visit you in the middle of the day too, so you had to put your phone down to have some bonding time with her. with her being a nurse, you laughed at the image of her pretty much acting like one with all her nurse-like questions, receiving a playful slap from her. she brought you some spare clothes, toiletries, your tablet and charger (though no earphones) as well as some snacks for you to eat in case you got sick of the hospital food.

'ooh chips! i'll try share some with hanji!' was your first thought when you looked through your bag. then you blushed realizing what your first thought was. god you could not be this down bad for the hospital boy already, you just met him three hours ago!

although you tried to hide it, your mom instantly spotted your reddening face. you saw her see it. you try to act normal, but there was no way you could fool your mom.

"you know dear, on my way in, one of the nurses told me you're on good terms with your room neighbor. you two aren't up to anything are you?"

"mom! he's right there! he can hear you!"

"ahaha i'm just joking, dear! gosh your face got even redder, must i call the nurse to check your temperature?"

you, who now has your face burried into your hands to hide from your mom's teasing, shouted a muffled "no!" only to her amusement. after your mom's laughter died down, she checks her watch.

"oh dear, it looks like i'll have to leave now. rest well, love, and get better soon."

"alright, safe travels mom. and thanks for the stuff!"

your mom sends you a flying kiss on her way out of your space and you play along and catch it, putting it on your cheek with a grin. your mom smiles, giving you one last loving look, before closing the curtains and walking out. you sigh, already missing your mom, but your thoughts are cut short as a nurse comes in not long after with your dinner. yay! hospital food!

"here's your dinner for tonight: chicken and rice, with strawberry jelly and vanilla ice cream. enjoy your meal!"

you take off the lid of your plate and immediately squint at the portion of rice in comparison to all the microwaved vegetables. this is a crime! but then again, what can you ask from hospital food? you wouldn't even be surprised if the ice cream was already melted (spoiler alert: it was)

you shrug and start eating, turning on your tablet to watch (choice of anime) while you eat (i watched hunter x hunter!). not long after, you receive a ping from jisung. you almost forgot about him oops /j

hanji Today at 6:16 PM

bruh i can hear anime playing from ur side r u watching (anime)? 🤨

[Y/U/N] Today at 6:16 PM

help i forgot u existed

hanji Today at 6:16 PM

HEY!!!

that hurt my kokoro 🥲💔

[Y/U/N] Today at 6:17 PM

AHAHHAJSNAKSN IM JOKING IM SORRY 😭😭

also yeah im watching (anime)

im surprised u figured out

hanji Today at 6:17 PM

how could i not

the opening is blasting through this room

[Y/U/N] Today at 6:17 PM

IS NOT

its less than half volume ok

u just live next to me thats why

...also my mom didnt bring any earphones so i have no choice </3

hanji Today at 6:18 PM

ok fair enough

cant complain anyway, (anime) has the best ops 😤

what did u get for dinner?

[Y/U/N] Today at 6:18 PM

chicken with an illegally small proportion of rice

pretty sure we all get the same thing tho

and just like that, the two of you carried on your long discord chats, your silly laughters filling the room once again (in addition to your anime playing in the background). for once, you actually enjoyed your hospital stay over the past multiple times you've been admitted. for once, you were ironically glad to be here, meeting him.

time flew by and it was already midnight. your nurse just finished the regular routine of checkup and replenishing your antibiotics. after making sure she left, you pulled out your phone and texted your neighbor.

----- Jul 11, 2015 -----

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:02 AM

pssst

hanji

han jisung

peter han

are you awake

hanji Today at 12:02 PM

yeah

why?

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:02 AM

ur nurse alrdy came in to check on u right

hanji Today at 12:02 AM

yeah?

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:03 AM

then...

is it okay if i come over to your side a bit?

please 🥺

wait no why did you send a text like that. you silently kicked yourself. stupid, what if he thinks you're a weirdo now! why'd you have to word it like that???

unbeknownst to you, the boy next door was flustering silently, his blushing face hidden in the dark.

[Y/U/N] Today at 12:04 AM

SORRY

I TOTALLY WEIRDED THAT WRONG

*WORDED

AJSNAMSNMS

i just... i actually was just hoping we could take a photo together...?

neither of us know when we'll be discharged or moved out of the room right?

i was just hoping we could take a photo while were both still here

AJSBAMBSMS BUT ITS OK IF U DONT WANNA

hanji Today at 12:05 AM

NO NO ITS FINE, I LIKE THAT IDEA

really!

so yes pls come over, i'd like to take a photo w u too :D

you'd better send them to me too 😤

you huff a silent sigh of relief, glad that he interrupted you before you rambled any longer. you shuffle out of your bed quietly, slipping on your shoes, before making your way to his side, your phone tight in your grip. inhaling nervously, you pull the curtains to the side. (de ja vu much? hehe)

if you hadn't already fallen for this boy, you sure were falling hard now. underneath the small hospital light sat jisung in his bed. he was smiling warmly at you, welcoming with chubby cheeks puffed out a bit, as his eyes twinkled with delight. you didn't notice at first, since he was mostly scrambled on the floor when you first met him, but jisung is... actually quite handsome. attractively cute. you really had to stop yourself from blushing so much so you didn't make yourself more of a fool than you already are lol.

on the other hand, this was jisung's first time properly seeing you. despite your slightly sickly complexion and just being dressed in a hospital gown, he still think you looked sweet and bubbly, just as cheerful as you were in text. that was enough to take the boy's heart. your uncharacteristic shyness made you look even cuter, he thinks to himself.

since his food table was on his right side, jisung scooches to give you room to sit on his left. you scurry over and lift yourself onto the bed next to him. you couldn't help but blush at your guys close proximity.

"s-so... ready?"

jisung grins, taking your phone off of you to take the photo for you, since your arms were shorter </3

"ready! now three, two, one...!"

snap!

jisung hands you back your phone, and the two of you smile at your cute selfie. even if you two were in hospital gowns in a hospital bed in a hospital room; it's a reminder of how you two met.

"hey, send it to me too okay?"

"definitely!"

and so you return back to your side of the room with a silly grin on your face, happy with the photo you two took. you send the photo to jisung just as requested and turn in for the night, the happy smile never left as you drift off to sleep.

it was three am when you woke up to the nurses doing their regular routine. only you were puzzled at the sight of more than one nurse. was something going on.

"hey (y/n), sorry to disturb your sleep. i'm hana, your nurse for tonight, and we'll be moving you to a single room in the ADU after this alright? we'll be needing to clear this room out for the new patients that are coming in."

"oh... okay..." was all you can say, still dazed from being half asleep, though truthfully, you were already getting sad at the thought of being away from jisung. everything went by so fast, you were already being rolled out of the room. just before you were out, you caught a glimpse of a confused jisung peaking from his curtains, eyes questioning your departure. you could only give him a small wave and a sad smile before you were out into the hallways.

it wasn't even a long travel since the room you're now in is in the same department of the hospital of the last room. still, it felt far more lonely being in a single room, without jisung.

it was three am still. you wonder if jisung would be up. you check your phone. he is.

hanji Today at 3:05 AM

you got moved out D":

did you know???

[Y/U/N] Today at 3:05 AM

no not at all

they only just told me before they moved me...

hanji Today at 3:05 AM

oh ok

man its gonna be so lonely here tho =3=

[Y/U/N] Today at 3:06 AM

lol not like we rlly talked physically anyways, were still on discord XD

but i get what you mean... especially now that im in a single room, its weird that youre not a curtain apart

its just me alone in this single room

hanji Today at 3:06 AM

yeah... its weird just knowing ur not next to me anymore

you both sigh at the same time, looking up at your ceiling. in your case, you knew that they wanted you to stay here for one more day before discharging you... but what about jisung?

[Y/U/N] Today at 3:08 AM

hanji...

do you know when you are being discharged from the hospital?

hanji Today at 3:08 AM

uhmm

actually, i have a feeling theyll discharge me today

[Y/U/N] Today at 3:08 AM

oh ok

that's good to hear :D

hanji Today at 3:09 AM

omg do you want me to go so badly

i am hurt 💔

[Y/U/N] Today at 3:09 AM

BRUH 😭

hanji Today at 3:09 AM

AHAHAHSJJSKS

hbu tho?

[Y/U/N] Today at 3:09 AM

since they moved me to this new room, im gonna be staying here a lil longer :”)

hanji Today at 3:10 AM

heres to hoping for your speedy recovery too 😔✊

fighting!!

[Y/U/N] Today at 3:10 AM

fighting!! ✊

now get some sleep before a nurse catches u up XD

you send jisung one of those cute wholesome good night memes before shutting off your phone for the night. you could only heave another heavy sigh as you stare at the blank ceiling, the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor beside you slowly lulling you to sleep, yet the thin blankets could not keep away the cold of the loneliness you felt in your solitary room as you miss the company of your neighbor, and once again you’re reminded of your dislike of the hospital that’s practically become your second home.

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iron-sides · 1 year

Note

HI HELLO i have One small request, could you give me some desertduo fic recs? (like besides yours bc i just all of yours and it made me even Worse) im Unwell abt them

ok i assume u mean like in the life series since all my desertduo fics are life series but !!! i will also be suggesting grand opening of our hearts by @funkily just because well . its sweet i love gay people and fake dating what can i say ?

anyway here are some of my favs !! um heads up every fic i link you today most likely will be at least a little bit slash are because altho the romance isnt what interests me wrt desertduo it is like. very integral to my interpretation of their dynamic as tumblr user mcyt once said. they fucked in that cactus ring. also im sorting these into two categories namely works that make me crazyyy and man that fic sure is fun :) <- lying

works that make me crazyyy: (stuff that indirectly or otherwise inspired my own takes on these fuckers, iirc theyre all canon compliant or the canon setting) um . all of these come with a blanket warning for the canonical end of third life taken to its dramatic saddest including the fight in the cactus ring and grian killing himself, even if none of these per se involve anyone actually permanently dying they definitely get dark 👍 read the tags lol

fireworks exploding in the distance (this writer is just really good in general (altho i couldnt find a tumblr sadly) but this is my favorite lol) its soooooo well um yousee. scarian and grians resistance or otherwise to being touched (explodes)

when the tether snaps the anchor sinks by @eeriefeelingsat3amuwu listen dl!desert duo is sooo interesting to me and i just think this is a really interesting exploration of what the fuck is wrong with them

ashes by @raichett is like ok so first off this whole series is great im user subbed to this author but 2 im so obsessed w this fic i think about it constantly likeee. grian and guilt is such an interesting sort of Thing to me right like he does all this stuff and then he feels sooo guilty . and then he does it again anyway. i want to study him anyway !!! great fic :)

now okay so @sparxwrites sparxwrites is a rec as is because wow !!!! like you can tell when a person has had years to hone their class and sparx clearly has- beware of nsfw tho cos it definitely abounds lol. specific sparx recs, like, my favorites would be here i am, again which is just. its an au where grian and scar win together and this goes exactly as well as you expect :( also! yours were the arms (that the whole world was in) is a last life fic a mumscarian polyamory negotiations fic and its just really good ! i really liked it lol im not much of a last life girly but theres something to the way all these characters so clearly know each other better than we know them thats sooo good and its only 1231 words so its not too long to read in an afternoon so like go read it ! and then come !!!! about it with me bc its sooooooooooo well i dont even know how to say it or i would its great tho

ok now for fics thats are ust !! :) <- mostly they are less :) and more :(( but shhh these are slightly less thinky but no less mwah !! (+ less warnings (still read the tags) + they lean more romantic)

mad scientists can be a little hot. as a treat. by @romanocheese this is exactly what it sounds like, takes place just after grians triple kill w the tnt minecart in third life

coliseum by @artanogon is a steampunk au where pretty much everyone save dogwarts is allied trying to bring down the red king ! unfinished but the tension is sooo high like. the mystery, the suspense, ive literally watched third life i know how this ends and yet here i am on the edge of my seat waiting for each update !!

my heart has been half asleep all my life is a series by @sciencechicken + if i was reccing one fic from it that would be i dont think i could stand to be where you dont see me which is a double life fic that definitely belongs in the other category (grian assumes after scar spent all of DL episode 1 ignoring him that he doesnt want to be soulmates) however since im reccing the full series (its all so good im subscribed to it lol) + the literal second fic is vampire scar/blood drinking/making out... im putting it here lol but its really wonderful i enjoy it greatly

friend of the devil by @mochiwrites and @idioddyssey ok all of the series mochi does are great but this is the one im currently avoiding reading the latest update on because i am soooo invested and i have a terrible feeling something is about to happen . :((( regarding well i shant say because spoilers like i know its gonna be great im just nervous lmao anyway its a mumscarian crime au and it is a delight to read ! recently it has featured tubbo as scars office aide and also well i shant say (spoilers etc) but yeah very fun i really enjoy it :D

l'appel du vide by @pixelfun20 is basically what if grian right after winning 3l was plopped into hermitcraft! i just really enjoy this kind of premise tbh it hasnt been updated since last june sadly but its. a lighter???? read than what else is here! well maybe not lighter but fewer people die iirc

and last but not least: @atherix midnight series which is soooooo like well ok so its mumscarian kind of like fantasy au? featuring vampire mumbo socerer/elf scar and whatever the fuck is up with grian and well ok i am rooting for it to become mumbo/scar/grian/cub actually because well. read and find out? but just trust me ok this series is one of my favorites of the ones im currently following bc of the way it sets up and then pays off conflict-- like, grian'll do something i wont specify due to spoilers and immediately i know that by the time the fic is done there is going to be SUCH a nice catharsis about this !! also the plot of the dsmp is just kind of like playing out as a sidequest for scars adopted son tubbo which i love <- former dsmp girly moment

ok i lied im also gonna plug mochi's series solem et lunam really fast because i like it !! basically grian is the sun god mumbo is the moon god they have a forbidden romance until the unthinkable happens (read the tags !!) OKAY ACTUALLY BYE THIS TIME

#answered asks #HI AXE #btw sorry if anyone i tagged in this didnt want to be tagged just let me know and ill happily untag u :] i typically avoid tagging ppl bc #they might not want to be but im a nosy bitch wrt ppl talking abt my writing so i thought others might be as well lmao #fic recs #ficposting #sorry if this is a lot axe i am severely mentally ill !!#my thots

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naartjie-hijabi · 2 months

Note

As an Indian from Durban I *totally* get you with that anon ask, and ugh, I’m sorry that you’re getting that sort of thing even online. Like… sure, whilst BEE and such aren’t perfect (most black people in our country still live in the country, people on top profit), they’re not white discrimination. I went to private school and I can tell anon that while on paper things like BEE seem like they’re ’against whites’ or smth, white people here in general still have an INSANE amount of money, connections, and assets from the Apartheid era, often built on the human rights abuses of that time, and most don’t care about helping disadvantaged people in the country now. My parents saved for decades for our house, which is fairly large and built on part of the LAWN of our neighbour’s house (a several story house owned by an older white guy). His kid went to my private school, and so I found out that this wasn’t even the only house he owned. My family only paid off our house last year, since my dad had to drop out of uni as he couldn’t afford it and opted to get a job to support his family instead. He broke his leg at that job and it still hurts him because he couldn’t afford time off to get it fixed. All that inequality from Aparthied, a lot of it and a lot of its echoes are still here. To say that it’s not is… you know?

honestly, I'm just hoping that the previous anon was asking out of good faith and nothing more.

BEE and BBEEE in practice aren't great but these systems that were implemented to ensure that POC have an equal footing with white people are being abused by white people. My dad worked in a company where he was the ONLY person of colour in a management position and getting paid a basic salary whereas his white colleagues got paid more for the same job or even less but he was there for "points" - not that he was unqualified but he wasn't being treated equally.

One of my friends is white and while she is by no means rich, she's fairly middle class altho in SA that's barely anything, but she's slightly more well-off than I am. Even still, her skin colour grants her privilege in walking in places where I as a coloured person would feel so uncomfortable. In 2024, people still stare when your skin colour is different and it's so disgustingly backwards.

But I totally understand how you feel anon. my dad couldn't finish uni cause he dropped out to fight against Apartheid, my mom was friends with Ashley Kriel, a coloured freedom fighter who was killed by the Apartheid regime, my uncle and aunt had to flee the country, meanwhile my aunt back home played white because she has pale skin and my dad who's incredibly dark for a coloured man was called derogatory names growing up because of his skin colour.

I'm also so incredibly sorry for your dad and pray that things will only get better for you and your family and you're totally right, denying the realities of Apartheid and the consequences thereof is a slap in the face to everyone who suffered. The people who complain are the people who benefitted and are more worried about losing what they gained through others' losses than helping or caring about anyone that's not part of their community.

The denial of white privilege and the idea that white people are being discriminated against is ludicrous. I live in CAPE TOWN, opposite every affluent white neighborhood is informal settlements. Hell, the neighborhood I currently live in is a white area and people own FERRARIS whereas my family's car breaks down every 5 minutes.

But anyways, I truly do believe that South Africa will gey better. I love this country wholeheartedly and I just want everyone to experience the same level of privilege and have access to all that is needed to succeed in life.

#asks #mari's ramblings #south africa #white privilege #i typed this out on mobile so hopefully this isn't too long #but thanks for sending in this ask anon #i actually had that previous ask in my inbox for quite sometime #i was unable to answer it for obvious reasons

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pythonscrypt · 9 months

Text

mcc 33 orange ocelots, game by game!

i'm super excited for orange this event (jojo, pearl, owen, aimsey) and i thought i'd make a post just looking at how they fare in all the games and where they could end up placing! (warning, extremely long because there's just so many games)

starting with PVP games:

meltdown - this is a great game for them. jojo is pretty much always top 15 (if not top 10) in this game, while owen got 7th when he played it in pride 23. pearl hasn't played in a long while but in mcc 27 and 28 she showed strong in-game leadership skills, and this team will absolutely give her room to lead while also having super clear comms, which is really important in this game. they can definitely place around 3rd here, which is really good because meltdown has a trend of being played late so they can benefit massively from the multipliers

battle box: probably their best pvp game of the lot - jojo is one of the best battle box players in the event, aimsey and pearl have a great track record especially when they're teamed with a strong leader. and although owen hasn't played it much, he's a solid pvper. i see them being around 4th here and top 3 if all things go well

sky battle: this might be a little uncertain for them though simply because there's multiple other teams that are really strong here, but they can definitely still get 6th. an important thing to note is that sky battle is very likely to have a remix this month and feature the new water fight gamemode that was just launched on mcc island. owen's already made a twitter thread professing his love for this version and in general due to how heavily it relies on ranged weapons i think they would be set up to do a lot better there, and could easily get around 3rd or 4th.

survival games: sg has been played so infrequently over the past year that there really isn't much data to go off of, however jojo's team won it the last time it was played in a canon event (mcc 31) and pearl also placed 11th when she last played it in canon in mcc 25. sg does tend to have a lot more rng than the other pvp games because how well a team does often depends on the loot they're able to get, and again there's some other really strong pvp teams this event, so with that in mind i'd say they could be around 6th or 7th place here (although they can just as easily get top 3).

something to note about orange is that although they're decently strong in pvp, movement is definitely more their forte. with that in mind:

ace race: one of their strongest movement games, and one they can very easily place top 3 in. although jojo is yet to play the new map, clouds 2, she has extremely strong mechanics in general and is quick to pick up new maps. aimsey and owen played it in mcc 32 and did really well - owen placed 10th and aimsey was 24th (and in general this is probably one of the best movement games for both of them). the newer ace race hasn't exactly been kind to pearl due to her ping interfering with the jump and speed pads, however she can definitely still do well.

hole in the wall: owen and jojo make a pretty damn formidable movement duo because they share a lot of their strongest games, this one being included. aimsey has also been consistently doing great especially in season 3, and pearl's aussie ping aside she's genuinely a really good hitw player. i can see orange placing 3rd here - this and ace race are both really solid for them, and luckily for orange both are likely in.

tgttos: pretty much the same applies here. this is one of pearl's better movement games and she's quite consistent in it, and aimsey got top 10 in mcc 29, which helped their team place 6th overall after being predicted dead last pretty unanimously. i'd put them around 4th here.

rocket spleef rush: this is one where i'd say they're solidly middle of the pack. rsr is historically one of the hardest games for a newcomer to crack, and owen was still able to place 21st his first time playing it which is not bad at all. although this event isn't one that's very strong in regards to this game, i would still say orange places around 7th here. (however this shouldn't really matter or affect them that much because rsr is typically played super early. it's also possible it's benched entirely because it's been played twice in a row now)

parkour warrior: this game is pretty likely to be benched as well, considering it's been played 3 events in a row. even if it is, orange can definitely do well here - owen, pearl and jojo can all do the medium ending which nets a sizable multiplier for the team (just look at purple32 and their newly set pkw record). on top of that both owen and jojo can get 11-13 medals each and pearl has really good mechanics, plus she can practice a lot of the event courses on mcc island. i'd put them around 6th here.

parkour tag: i do think this is their weakest game by a pretty long shot. just looking at the other teams and the event i'd say it's possible they place 8th or below here, which does also suck because this game is almost certainly in the roster. but hopefully it can get played really early so they don't have to worry about it.

now for their crown jewel, the one category they absolutely stomp and demolish, the team games:

sands of time: i saw someone describe orange as a top 5 sands of time team of all time, which after having watched owen's runs in mcc pride 23 and 32 i can say i honestly agree with. jojo is the absolute uncontested best sot player - no one else can say they've lead four different teams to win sot in a row. aimsey is similarly the best sandkeeper there is right now (and star is coming off another sands of time win in his last event). owen is extremely thorough and organised while running and successfully got the gold vault for his team in pride 23. and although pearl's most recent sands of times have been supremely unlucky, having seen all of them i can say it is by zero fault of hers, and that she's an extremely strong, clear and thorough runner. plus, 3/4 of this team literally won sands of time almost a full year ago - i'm sorry but there is really no competition. orange is winning this game and depending on the dungeon seed they'll easily set the season 3 record for most coins collected (currently held by green30, another jojo team).

grid runners: a key thing people have been mentioning about this team is their comms: jojo, pearl, aimsey and owen are all people who are not only extremely good listeners, but they also know how to be assertive with their teammates and they can give directions just as easily as they can follow them. their teamwork is probably their single biggest strength, because while you do have jojo as a strong de facto leader all around, the whole team is just extremely co-operative and willing to let each other do their thing at different points during games. there's possibly no game that's going to display this better than grid runners. they're easily locked for top 3 here.

to conclude: absolutely do not count orange out this event. i admit that i'm definitely very heavily biased towards them, because it has some of my favorite players and i'm excited to see pearl again so i obviously hope she and her team do well. however, they genuinely have very few weaknesses and are extremely well-rounded, and where they might lack in raw strength, they more than make up for it with their rock solid comms and teamwork. and on top of that, they're just guaranteed to be an extremely fun, wholesome, enjoyable pov. by any means if you still happen to be wondering which team to watch for mcc 33, i highly, highly recommend watching orange!

#b.txt #mcc

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the-force-awakens · 4 months

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hi :) I saw thst you reblogged that what's your main spin poll and I wanted to ask if you wanted to elaborate what yours is I love to hear about it!! <3

🥺 aw thank you!! I always enjoy having a chance to infodump a little bit (btw i love ur icon...daphne what an icon)

I do technically have a handful of spins that I consider my main spins because I'm constantly rotating between them (star wars, doctor who, moon knight and spidey) at any given moment, but my strongest spin is definitely in Poe Dameron from the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy!

I kind of instantly fell in love with him when my dad first took me to see The Force Awakens when it came out, which was a huge surprise for me because Poe was maybe the character I was the least intrigued by at the time (Rey and Finn had me asking far more questions, anyway) and none of the descriptions for him really jumped out to me. But after actually seeing him, I was positively in love, and then quickly downloaded accompanying novels that featured him (Before the Awakening and the TFA novelization) to read more about him, and then in April of 2016, they came out with a comic series for him and that really helped further cement my special interest in him!

It took a huge hit in 2018-most of 2020 because of all the fandom negativity (especially around Poe) but at the end of 2020, I rewatched the sequels back to back for the first time and it flared back to life without me expecting it to and I did a huge deep dive into uuuuuuuuuuuuuh every piece of expanded material he'd appeared in 😅

Basically (I'm not super sure how familiar you are with Star Wars) Poe is one of the best pilots in the Resistance, which is lead by Princess (now General) Leia Organa, and he's her right-hand man/protégé/surrogate son. Barring the Resistance's bombing fleet (which is teeny bc the Resistance is teeny and held together by duct tape) Poe is essentially in charge of its only flight wing and (as far as we know) all* of its squadrons. On top of that, he's also an active intelligence operative, and even helps oversees the reports from the Resistance's spies so like...he's kind of already helping run the Resistance even prior to officially co-running it by the third film with Leia/when he's finally named its official leader.

Poe is super important to me for a lot of reasons, but one of my favorite things about his arc is that it's not centered around romantic love/tension unlike a lot of the other dynamics in the sequel trilogy (altho Oscar did play Poe as being extremely smitten for Finn and who can blame him, and we do meet an ex girlfriend of Poe's in the third movie, I stan a bisexual king). Poe's whole arc is about his duty to the Resistance, his struggles with keeping hope because he's afraid that everything they've (and him) endured and lost will have been for nothing if they lose the fight against the First Order. If there's a love story for Poe's arc, it's his love for the Resistance and his friends, and that's so wonderful and profound in my eyes.

But also the bridge of Poe's arc, from the daring hero we see in tfa and the start of tlj, to the cautious but courageous leader we see at the end of tlj and all of tros, is Poe being forced to accept that his role in this story isn't that of a martyred hero. He's quite literally grounded (his X-Wing is destroyed) and he's pushed into the role of the leader his mentor wants him to be, and TLJ (in my eyes) is the story of someone who full heartedly believed the most he had to offer was a noble self-sacrifice realizing he actually wants to live (and that he can do far more for the Resistance/galaxy by surviving.)

I love Poe a lot because he's also very simple. He's, as Rian Johnson described him, a good guy hero. Unlike other characters, you never doubt whether he's gonna be tempted or corrupted, you know that he's going to do the right thing and remain true to the Light side, you have faith that no matter what obstacle he faces, he's gonna overcome them and come out the other side that much better for it.

The Age of Resistance comic analysis of Poe breaks it down the best, I think:

Poe's inherent humanity is what makes him a great character. He's not someone who struggles with right and wrong or good and evil. Instead, his struggle is more with his tendency to need to be the person who pulls off some last-minute, thrilling heroics in service to the greater good. Because Leia's right: you can't solve everything by jumping in an X-Wing to blow things up.

I could talk for days about Poe (I've spent the last three years doing just that) about the nuances of his character and the depths that largely go unexplored because of Lucasfilm's inexplicable disrespect and dislike of him, the fandom often reducing him to a love interest with no other personality traits, or complete bastardization wherein he resembles Hangman Top Gun more than Poe Dameron (often when people want to oversexualize him).

He has so many qualities that I adore: he's snarky and hot-headed and can throw things (metaphorically) in people's faces when he's particularly upset, he's impulsive, but also kind and compassionate and patient with people. He sees the potential for more/good in folks that most wouldn't. he truly deeply values people, and that's what makes him such an amazing leader: he inspires loyalty because of how much he believes and takes risks in the people around him. He's often the first person to give someone a second chance, or to lower his blaster, but he can also be vindictive. He's confident in his abilities as a pilot to the point he's often mistaken as arrogant, but he never puts anyone down and always lifts people up, and has a lot more insecurities than anyone would guess, and is really sensitive to rejection.

He's also kind of canonically a prince, thanks to the TROS novelization, so you know. I think that's neat and I'm so totally normal about it (when Leia passes away, she leaves her Organa legacy to Poe...the Organa Legacy would be the Royal House Organa - as well as the Resistance. So...Poe is in some ways a prince).

(*which is...three, they only have three squadrons)

#god there's so much more i want to say but this is already NOVEL length #and i've got company so i'm very scatterbrained atm #people misunderstand poe a lot bc they think he's the new han #which is hysterical bc he WAS conceptualized /as/ the new han archetype #but then they went and added SO much of leia's and a dash of luke #you really can't box him in #he's a simple character to understand but also he's got an entire universe of depth to him #he's so loyal and such a family driven character and feels responsible for his family and leia's legacies #and he's a romantic and he's self sacrificing and he is SHIT at talking about his feelings #and he loves his droid so much and he's a little bit superstitious and particular and always mods everything of his #(his blasters his xwings)#to make them more /his/#and he's sentimental and optimistic to a fault and can't help but be the hero all the time #but he can also be so /cold/ when he's pissed off and the first order is canonically afraid of him #like he really is the character of all time i think #ask box #elevenriver #poe dameron #AND I LOVE UR URL ICONIQUE #both of them

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frankiistein · 7 months

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come on look at this drawing. this is exactly what being in aba feels like. anyway...

bien and sar as a portrayal of a "troubled teen" with autism/adhd/aspd and an aba therapist: a breadavota analysis

finally blogging about the ending of intermission 1 of @breadavota

gui on the bbs has already noticed most of the stuff from the new update so tbh not much else left to say. thank u once again for the loyal breadposting

not related but i just noticed the bbs has the homestuck colors naur

instead of analyzing every part of the new update im just going to focus on the depiction of sar as being a (pseudo) aba therapist, along with my "bien is so autismcoded" hc

bien as an autistic character (+ adhd and conduct disorder/oppositional defiant disorder/aspd)

first of all altho afaik none of the characters are written intentionally to be autistic and adhd but both sc and bien have traits of it, altho i will just focus on bien here who i feel is autistic, adhd and has cd/odd (which could be aspd now bcuz hes already an adult). i think the aspd hc has more credence bcuz the author has aspd

seen as "stupid" by others, especially because he has issues with working memory and attention, altho i dont think hes particularly "stupid" but more that he has trouble w/ abstract thinking and memories, he takes things literally (like when he messes w/ sars pens after being told not to touch only his books)

inexpressive facial expressions, he usually has a neutral face no matter the situation

seems to get bored easily and needs to do extreme things to stimulate himself, particularly his violent tendencies towards animals

special interests/hyperfixations. he doesnt show an interest in anything except things related to violence (murder, weapons, wars) or sc, and to a lesser extent playing the piano

on top of that some level of social inappropriate behavior, altho its harder to say w/ so few interactions between him and other characters. the one chapter where he talks to the other soldiers he wasnt very friendly towards them, and based on how he talks to ava (hard to tell if he talks like this to everyone tho) he has the tendency to bring up his relationship to sc even in situations where its not appropriate or relevant

"awkwardness" aside he has a disregard for other ppl as a whole and seems unable to emphatize with hurting others

struggles with "basic" tasks and is anxious abt leaving sc and having to live on his own

wants to have "explanations" for everything he does before doing it, seen in how he is frustrated with avas vagueness

some sensory sensitivies since he looks to be bothered by "loud noises", altho its a bit vague bcuz the demons seem to have a synthesia like (?) way of perceiving the world. bon at least has been implied to lash out from these sensitivities which 2 me is similar to meltdowns, and sar shows concern that the brightness outside might bother bien

anyway moving on to sar, this is probably noticed by some ppl from the older updates already but the premack principle (explaining more later) is what made it noticed for me, that sar acts similar to an aba therapist, or at least uses some of the same principles in aba to manipulate bien

focus on eye contact

first of all i agree w/ gui the decision to write only in sars pov and to never directly show what biens dialogue at all is great! i think it highlights that feeling of bien not being allowed his autonomy and makes it feel rly more like some therapy session where ur not allowed to make ur own decisions, it also forces us to rely on sars narration of events even tho hes not a trustworthy person

bcuz we cant see bien we also dont know if anything in the place is distracting or bothering him. the last updates established he finds the way the house "sounds" to be rly disturbing (again poiting to sensory sensitivity), and the way the story focuses not on why he might not be looking at sar and instead only looks at his "problem behavior" reminds me of my own experiences with aba before

sar commands eye contact from bien with the simple repetition of the phrase "look at me". this very first one stands out because of how its inserted right in the middle of his dialogue, showing sars intention to make sure bien "focuses" on what hes currently saying, like he needs bien to be looking at him to "prove" he is listening. reading it in real time the first "look at me" is almost unnoticable until the next ones

i noticed the first one is also early on in the update, and he doesnt say it again until later on where all the "look at mes" are closer together. this happens when bien reads the research paper with the "blocks". i think it implies bien is more uncomfortable or stressed out from this activity and being overwhelmed by it, he looks away more frequently, its a subtle detail that i cant help but noticed!

premack principle/first, then

this is what stood out to me the most, sar pretends to "offer" autonomy to bien sometimes by letting him decide some minor things like what to eat for the break, or to let him make minor adjustments to the overall "daily schedule" but i noticed the entire "lesson" is decided by sar, who makes bien do a "harder" task first before moving on to something bien might want to do (eat cake/listen to the piano) or to "something easier"

some standing out parts:

reading this, especially "of course, i believe you can do it" its clear that bien doesnt necessarily want to move to the "easier" tasks and he wants to keep trying the current task even if hes not doing "well". the desire to move to "something easier" is always something sar decides because of his estimation of biens incompetence, and not out of biens own unwillingness to keep trying.

speaking of the schedule, its interesting, sar doesnt simply say he will make time in biens daily schedule to let him play the piano, he says bien will be allowed to have piano lessons, meaning hes still planning to use even biens hobbies/interests as a opportunity to "educate" him or as "reinforcerment" for him to do "good" behaviors first. i can imagine in the future biens desire to play the piano is going to be used against him, so that hes only allowed to do it if he "studies" first

reinforcements and "safe foods"

in the premack principle/"token economy" a reward is used to motivate the "good behavior" and here we see sar using food as that reinforcement. also sar doesnt punish bien here (also hello bien and his super literal thinking, autistic king), he tells bien to keep reading while sar cleans up.

the idea of not using punishment to be more "humane" is indeed a part of modern aba (traditional aba utilized punishments before this was dropped) but that doesnt account for all the other issues with aba, and again with the lack of autonomy he assumes bien "messing with the pens" is an "accident" (instead of explaining more literally not to touch the pens - its possible bien did it on purpose but is unaware why this is a "big deal" and wouldnt understand why sar is pointing it out to begin with), and he also doesnt ask bien if he wants to help clean up, or why he touched the pens to begin with.

for all we know bien got bored and started stimming with the pens (esp bcuz chewing or clicking pens is a common stim, we dont know what sar means with "messed with" here), sar could of at least asked first why bien did that anyway and like?? let him borrow a pen??? lmao???

anyway, back to the cake, in a previous updates its shown bien likes cake and i think this establishes cake as a sort of "safe food" for bien

this is something gui pointed out that i didnt notice at first, but notably bien asks for just a chocolate cake, and sar gives him a devils food cake that has vanilla in it. its something so "small" that bien will look bad if he complains abt it, but sar ignoring a very specific request bien had is a common autistic experience when it comes to safe foods and being told just to be "picky eater"

assumptions of biens incompetence/struggles

its no secret bien seems to struggle with "intelligent" matters but notably nobody ever stops to ask what he stuggles with, its always assumed for him. while ava is more obviously dismissive, sar also does the exact same thing and just sounds "nicer" about it

lack of proper explanations

despite being an expository character sar notably doesnt explain things in a way that would be useful to bien. my personal observation of bien and why i dont think hes "stupid" (not in the way the others sy he is) is that he asks a lot of logical questions! whenever ava tells him a story abt the history of angels/marginals, or asks him to do a new task, bien makes a lot of sensible observations ("if angels marginals and demons are the immortals and youre not an angel then what are you?")

the things he questions the most are information that comes out of nowhere (the recursive panopticon, sars first appearance, the margibird that came out of his radio etc), and other people treat him like an idiot for just not automatically knowing these "obvious" things that would make sense for him to know!

honestly viewing bien in this lens it suddenly makes alot more sense why the story jumps around so much and introduces "weird" lore seemingly at random, i think it rly helps simulate the feeling of confusion bien (and also bread) are meant to have

and of course where would we be w/o sars insistence that bien always say thank you even tho he never explains what bien should even be thanking him for.

general infantilization

as a whole sars tone is very infantilizing w/ how he always gives reassurances and goes "do you understand?" "___, okay?"

also he decides to give bien storybooks (probably for kids) and plushies to help with sleeping lmao??? we dont even know yet if hes going to have sleeping problems in anselir.

ofc nothing is inherently wrong with needing things considered "childish" with accomodations, lots of autistic people benefit from simpler talking to them or from sensory aids and similar in their daily life. but again its bad here because bien gives no indication these are the specific accomodations he even needs, sar simply assumes them for him. i think especially knowing bien seems insecure over his incompetence and his ability to "grow up" and be an independent adult living away from his father, it makes treating him like a dependent child even worse in that contexts.

disrespect for personal boundaries/touching

this is definitely the creepiest part and again the lack of biens side of things makes it vague what sar is doing

the way its immersed in the dialogue again is a good choice, just shows sar talking and acting "normally" even when things are decidedly not normal

the comment abt the hair makes it obvious that sar is touching bien, altho to what extent the "touching" goes is obviously deliberately vague. honestly it almost looks like sa :") regardless the pressure to do "affectionate" gestures is so relatable, especially as an autistic kid where adults always pressure you to hug them or show some other form of physical affection, and the way ppl touching u w/o permission is so common.

(i did ask the author abt this, to which they said its supposed to be vague so its not sexual but its also not not sexual. but that they personally wrote it to be them sitting next to each other with sar just condescendingly petting him on the head at some point like he did the last updates, and the "try not to squirm" comment was abt sitting properly, but that this was just how they imagined it and isnt "canon" bcuz its supposed to be open-ended)

bonus:

a subtle thing i almost dont noticed but the last "what blocks" is slightly bigger as if to show a slight raise in voice, rly feels like sitting in a suffocating room with this guy. ily sar but u suck

that is the end of my breadposting thank u and goodbye. ^_^

#breadavota #long post #tagging ooo #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #aspd #antisocial personality disorder #conduct disorder #oppositional defiant disorder #autism #adhd #comic review #aba #applied behavior analysis #applied behavioral analysis #aba therapy #aba tw

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