#although I haven’t read very many fics lately

[alewritesfics]

Love me again, please

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!reader

Word count: 5.6k

Summary: After a few years, you cross paths with the last person you ever wanted to

Warning: I do not know where I was going with this story at the end so I apologize if it is a little over the place but you all get the gist.

A/n: I'm also posting after months of posting nothing. Very sorry about that but well, I lost the motivation to write, with that being said, Serendipity is on hold for the moment. I have the story planned out but I have no idea what else to write so the main scenes may connect in the end. So I'll be taking my time writing that. Also, I have no posting schedule because I know I won't follow through with it so I'll be posting when motivation hits and I have a fic finished. Lots of love to everyone who takes the time to read this xx.

Forgiveness.

An action that is difficult for human beings to execute. We live in a world that in which resentment , anger and revenge win over anything else. We let ourselves be carried away by the teeth of hatred, that we never take into account that action.

Forgiveness brings us peace and it brings happiness because not only are you forgiving the other person, you are forgiving yourself. Forgiveness is the biggest act of love in this world, and we just have made it complicated.

Although as much as you preach for people to forgive, you yourself, haven’t got it in you to forgive that one person that wronged you so many years ago.

Oh, how you hated him.

The one person that made you fall in love with him, that made you question your morals and break your dignity, allowing yourself to be used as if you were a prostitute from one of the brothels downtown.

He promised you his love, whispered sweet noothings in your ear as he made love to you late in the evenings, when everyone was asleep, telling you to give him more time so he could sort out a few things before making you his wife.

Oh, how you hated him.

Like a fool, you believed everything he promised you, hope blooming inside you at his words, that was all you wished for, to become his wife. But for the meantime, you were happy being his mistress.

If the only way to be with him until he sorted everything out was by being his mistress, hiding in the shadows, where no one was watching, you would take it, you would give yourself to him.

Oh, how you hated him.

That is, until one day, he left you without any word.

He came to your room one evening, you were patiently waiting for him, readying yourself for what you thought would be another night of pleasure.

That is until he arrived and broke your heart.

Told you how he could not be with you anymore and that he would not be coming to your room anymore. When you kept on pleading with him not to leave you, that is when he changed to saying cruel, cruel things.

Like how did you ever believe he would actually marry you, and that he was only with you for the pleasure filled nights you provided, that you were just an easy prey, foolishly believing everything he said. Those words succeeding even further on breaking your heart.

Oh, how you hate – loathe him.

Oh, how you loathed him

Oh, how you really really loathed him

Oh………

how you wished you actually loathed or even hated him.

Because that is the truth, no matter how much he hurt you, no matter how the words he carelessly threw at you engraved themselves deeply inside you, how he completely broke you, even then, you still could not find it in yourself to hate him.

“Your grace?” you snapped out of your thoughts, turning your head to the side, looking at the footman questioningly “We are here, your grace”

You thanked him quietly before looking down at the toddler sleeping on your chest, brushing the hair that was covering her face away, caressing her chubby cheeks.

“Love,” you murmured stroking her head lovingly. Little Amelia moved, shaking her head before burying herself further into your chest “It is time to wake up, darling. Were you not excited to see grandmamma and grandpapa? What about your cousins, Charles and Elizabeth? You were delighted that you were going to be able to play with them”

She instantly sat up, rubbing away the sleep from her eyes “Oh! Charlie and Lizzie! Mama!” she squealed, suddenly very energetic “They said they would show me toys their mama and papa brought them” She clapped her hands and hastily exited the carriage once the footman opened the door.

“Careful” you called out after her, grabbing the blankets you previously set out for her to sleep more comfortably

“Amy!” you could hear your mother’s voice exclaim as you put your feet on the floor and looked around “Oh, look how big you’ve gotten sweet girl!”

“And so beautiful too, just as beautiful as her mother” your papa added happily, bringing you into a hug

“mama, papa, it is so nice to see you” You greeted happily returning the hug before pulling back “has Ed and Ellie arrived? Amy cannot wait to play with Charlie and Lizzie” you ask

“Oh! Yes, they are just inside, come on Amy, let us go see your aunt and uncle” your mama urged grabbing on to your daughter’s little hand, your father offered his hand to you which you rejected, shaking your head

“You three go on ahead, I just want to breathe in a little bit of fresh air, those few hours in the carriage made me a little nauseous” you breathed out, they nodded before walking away and leaving you alone. You sighed, turning to look you at the sky, letting the sun soak into your skin.

It is crazy how fast time passes. It seems like it was just yesterday when you got your heart broken. It seems like it was just yesterday when after getting your heart broken, you decided to move on away from him and instead marry a dear friend of yours.

Jacob Thornwell was his name, the duke of Rosehill, you had met him through your brother as they had gone to Eton together and you become close friends, close enough to marry each other. It wasn’t a marriage out of love but you both cared deeply and respected each other. What more could you have asked for?

You married him because you were heartbroken and wanted to move on and not give that person the satisfaction of seeing you broken, and Jacob married you to escape his family’s complaints.

After a week of mourning over your lost love, you went to him and proposed the idea, he accepted and soon after you married. You were happy, or at least the most happy you could be after getting your heart broken, but everything changed when a few months later, you had little Amelia.

Your world changed after that day, after you held your sweet babe in your arms, after she opened her eyes, those eyes she inherited from her father. And when her little lips formed into a small smile, you knew you would do anything for your daughter, she was now the most important person in the whole world and you would protect her against everything.

You let out a deep breath closing your eyes, after a few moments opening them once again, you turned your head to the side, your body filling with dread when you saw a familiar person looking back at you from across the street.

Your heart started to race when he opened his mouth to say something starting to cross the street , you turned on your heel and entered your parent’s home, not letting him even say anything. You close the front door loudly and lean your body against it, holding your hands close to your chest, willing your heart to slow down.

“Y/n?” You hear your mama’s voice speak up, you turn to look at her, mustering up a smile “Are you alright, dear?”

“Yes, yes I am” you breathed out “I just thought I saw a bug, you know how I get when I see one” you let out a fake laugh, giving a shudder as If you were disgusted to make it more believable

Your mama nodded her head, not quite believing you but deciding to let it go “Of course” She then gestured to the drawing room “Come on now, your brother is anxious to see you” you now smile genuinely before following behind her

After greeting your brother, you were seated on a couch, looking at your daughter and her cousins playing happily in the middle of the room, a smile laying on your face, although that smile faded once you remembered your brief interaction, if you could even call it that, with that man across the street.

How dare he? How dare he look at you as if he was shocked you were in front of him, as if you were the one who had broken his heart and cut all contact with him after, how dare he even try to approach you after everything he did..... after everything he said?

What you would have given to know how he had felt in that moment. That moment when your heart was cracking into a million pieces, that moment where you were crying out for him not to go because you needed him. You wondered how he felt. Did it even hurt him as much as it hurt you? Did he feel that painful tug in his chest or the lump in his throat like you did? Did he even love you as much as you loved him?

You curse the day you met Anthony Bridgerton.

That man was your ruin.

You take it back.

You curse the moment you let your mama convince you to go to the ball Lady Bridgerton was hosting.

Not only because you had to leave Amy at home but because there was also a 50 percent chance that you could encounter Anthony Bridgerton at any given moment, and that was the last thing you wanted to do tonight.

“Fancy seeing you tonight” someone spoke up beside you, you look up, coming face to face with the last person you wanted to see.

Oh, just your luck.

“Lord Bridgerton” You uttered looking back at the couples dancing in the middle of the room

“Miss Y/n – oh, my apologies, I forgot you are now the duchess of Rosehill” he muttered unapologetic “Your grace,” he said sarcastically holding back a scoff, you look up at him once again, sending him a glare

After a few moments of silence, he spoke up “Are you not even going to say anything?”

You sighed angrily, the last thing you wanted to do right now was speak to him “There is nothing to speak about, Viscount Bridgerton”

He scoffed rolling his eyes “Surely you cannot be serious” he grabbed your arm and pulled you into an empty corridor after making sure nobody saw you both “Let us start with something simple, how about the fact that you married Jacob Thornwell when you knew damn well I did not like him”

“Excuse me?!” You scoffed angrily“Who I married is none of your concern”

“None of my concern?” He laughed humorlessly “None… of….my….concern?”

“Yes," you reply “None of your concern, you did not have any say in who I married and whether you liked him or not. Well, guess what? I did not care, not.one.bit” You snapped “ You were the one that left me! Might I remind you of that night when you came into my room and told me all kind of horrible things?”

“I-“ he tried to cut in

“No, no, let me speak!” you glare at him “You told me I was just an easy lay, you told me you didn’t ever have any plans of marrying me and were only looking for an innocent, naïve, foolish little girl who you could fool into sleeping with you. You told me I was a fool for believing everything you ever told me”

“Y/n-“

“Let me speak!” you breathed out harshly, Anthony went silent “Do you have any idea how horrible I felt? How broken I felt? You were the first man I was ever with, the first man who paid even just a little bit of attention to me. The first man I ever loved…. I really loved you, Anthony… I loved you so much that it consumed me entirely. And you left me” you chuckle emotionlessly “But do not worry, I feel nothing for you anymore”

“You seduced me, ruined me, and then left me. I gave you what I should have only given my husband, I was really lucky that Jacob was understanding because if not, I never would have been able to marry, god knows no one would want damaged goods” you shake your head “But I am also grateful, because you showed me how cruel men could be. You showed me how foolish I was for thinking you actually cared about me and you made me realize that I never should have loved someone as heartless as you” you scoffed and turn around, walking away from him, back to the ball

“Y/n, wait!” Anthony called out “Let me explain- y/n- let-“ you ignored him, whatever he was saying now drowned out by the music playing.

“Mama! Look!”

You turn to look at your daughter, she was pointing to a butterfly that was standing on top of a flower. You smiled at Amy, “Yes, it is very beautiful, sweetheart”

Amy smiled and ran to another part of the park “Careful,” you called out to her “And stay where I can see you”

You take a look around the park, looking for any signs of your parents but they seemed to be nowhere. You sighed and sit on a bench nearby where Amy was running around. You groan when you felt your favorite necklace become loose once again, falling down your neck.

“I should really get this fixed” you mumbled trying fasten it around your neck once again, all while you kept your eyes on Amy, making sure nothing happened to her before you felt a presence next to you.

You turn your head, finding Lady Bridgerton next to you with a smile on her face “Your grace” she greets “ It is so nice to see you after all these years”

“Lady Bridgerton” you greet her with a smile “It is so nice to see you as well”

“How have you been? How is your family?”

You smile “ They are fine, thank you for ask-“

“Mama!” You turn your head and stand up quickly when you heard Amy cry out for you. Your daughter runs to you and hugged your legs tightly “What is wrong, darling?” you ask worriedly, before pulling her away, making her look at you

“Look” She shows you her arm which was scraped, tears filling her beautiful blue eyes “I hit a rock and now there is blood” She sniffled

“Oh, now now, do not cry” you coo caressing her cheek. You look up at Lady Bridgerton, who was staring at Amelia with wide eyes, her face turning pale. Dread fills your entire body.

“I- Is that- She looks- what- A-“ She stuttered

“Lady Bridgerton” you cut her off “If you may excuse me, I must find my parents, it was nice seeing you again” you give her one last smile and walked away, holding onto Amy’s hand

You groan as you ruffled throughout your bedchambers. You looked through your clothes, under your bed, on your dresser, anywhere you could think of but you still could not find it.

You exit your bedchambers and head down the stairs to the drawing room. “Mama” you called out entering the room “Have you seen my necklace? I cannot seem to find it anywhere”

Your mama looked up from her embroidery “Have you looked in your chambers?”

“I have” you looked at her worried “but it is not there” you grumble sitting down next to her “I need to find it mama, that is the last thing I have of Jacob, it is really special”

She raises an eyebrow “Well, I seem to think the last thing you have of Jacob is Amy, is she not?”

You stayed still “I – yes, of course, but I mean the last materialistic think left of him” I reply

She hums “Well, now that I remember, I recall Lady Bridgerton saying she has your necklace and you could go over today if you desire”

Your face lights up “Perfect! I will go then” you walk away before stopping and turning back to her “Will you look after Amy for me, please, I will not be long” you smile when she nods and walk out of the house

You open the front door slowly, looking around before walking further in. “Lady Bridgerton?” you called out and enter the drawing room

You huff when you don’t see her inside “She is not even here, why did she say to come here today then? And why didn’t she just send me my necklace with a maid” you roll your eyes before turning around, stopping when you come face to face with Anthony

“Looking for this?” He holds out your necklace, you look down at the necklace before looking back up at him

“Why do you have it? Give me it” you held out your hand, gesturing towards your necklace

He shrugs “If this was so important for you, why did you lose it? Mother found your necklace lying on the ground in the park,” he chuckled “How careless of you. And I, like the good son i am, told her that I would give it to you, how sweet of me, right?” He smirked

“Give it to me” you demand, glaring at him

“Tell me the truth first” He shakes his head

You furrowed your eyebrows “What are you talking about? Give me my necklace, now”

“Tell me you have not forgotten me” He mutters “That you still feel something for me”

You swallow, your eyes flickering between both of his eyes before looking down at your necklace and then back at him “Give me my necklace” you decide to ignore his words, evading his eyes so he does not see how much he is affecting you

“Y/n,” he sighs “I love you” he blurts out, you start to feel a light sting on your eyes.

“What are you even saying?” you needed to get out of there, you cannot stand to be there any longer “You are speaking nonsense!” You step around him to walk away but he stops you before you could make another step

“Come on, Y/n” He pleads holding onto your arms

“Let me go” you demand trying to jerk out of his hold

“If you tell me the truth, I will let you go” He said softly, you ignore his words once more, looking down at your necklace in his hands

“Give me back my necklace or dont, either way I will leave” you stated angrily

“Tell me the truth” Anthony repeated “Tell me you have not forgotten about what we had, tell me you have not forgotten me, tell me that you still love me”

You narrow your eyes at him, chuckling humorlessly “ I do not have to tell you anything”

“Do not do this, Y/n” he sighs exasperated

“Do what?” you glare at him

“Do not do this”

“What should I not do?!” you exclaimed

“I am in love with you, Y/n” Anthony admits looking at you softly

You snort before chuckling and looking around “Love?” you turn to look back at him, he nods in response “ After all these years, you speak to me about love?” You shake your head incredulously

“What did you think? After all these years, you will come to tell me that you are in love with me and I will jump straight on to your arms, right?” You throw your hands in the air in disbelief “In all that time I spent with you, I'm sure you did not know what place I occupy in your life! You treated me like an object, was I your mistress? Your lover? Did you even plan on courting me or did you only want me to be someone you could tumble around in the sheets with? Oh! wait a moment, you did say you were only looking for a easy lay. And now you speak to me about love!” You scoff

He looks down in shame “I had so many things going around, Y/n, I was confused. I did not know what to do and how to do it. And- and I did not want to drag you down with me” you look at him in disbelief “But I have always been in love with you”

You clench your jaw and scoffed “I do not even know why I am talking to you about this” you uttered and walked around him “Let me go” you exclaimed when he pulled you back towards your spot once again

You look at his chest, not wanting to see him in the face as your eyes stung with tears. Anthony looked down at you and nodded “Then tell me you have forgotten me, tell me you do not love me anymore ”

You opened your mouth and then closed it before opening it once more to speak this time “I forgot you” you looked at him in the eye ��� Is that all? I forgot you! I do not love you anymore” you affirmed once more

You step away from his hold “What did you think?! That I would wait for you all these years?! That I would act as if I was just waiting for you to decide you wanted me again, to jump back into your arms?! That I would revolve everything around you?! Do you still think everything revolves around you?! –“

He pulls you into a kiss, cutting off your words. You tense, not expecting what he just did. He kisses you for a few more moments before pulling back. You remained emotionlessly, your lips tingling from the kiss you just shared a few seconds ago.

“I’m sorry” you snapped back out off your trance to look at him “I have crossed the line, I am sorry, if you want we can talk” he sighs ashamed at himself

”I may not know much about love, and that is mostly my fault for not letting myself love, but I know a lot about you” Anthony voiced “ I know you like to look at the rain, sometimes you even let the drops grace your hand. I also know you adore looking at the stars, those little lights that make your eyes shine in wonder. And you like to get lost in your thoughts, in that mind so disastrous but philosophical at the same time. You are a riddle that at first sight is complex but when you get to know it, you discover that it is a wonder of the world”

You ponder over his words, looking up at his face before looking back down, wringing your fingers before looking back up at him once again.

You smile sadly “ I cannot forgive you, Anthony, every sweet word you say cannot take away all of the pain you caused me, and I am sincerely sorry if you thought that this encounter would turn out another way, one in which everything is forgiven and you and I could be the perfect picture family but I am sorry to disappoint you. I cannot forgive you, and honestly," you sighed “ I do not want to”

With that, you turned away,

“Y/n…” he mumbled, you stop once again “ Love me again, please” you let out a shaky breath shaking your head and walking away and this time, he willingly lets you.

You wipe your tears away furiously entering your home once again “ Y/n?” your mama comes out of the drawing room, she looks at your tear stained cheeks before looking into your eyes worriedly “What happened?”

Your lips trembled before you hug her, letting the tears fall silently “Oh, what is wrong my dear?” you shook your head hugging her more tightly

After a few moments you pull away, wiping under your eyes carefully, all while your mama is still looking at you.

She sighed before sitting down next to you “I will give you some advice and I hope you listen to it” your mama uttered, her eyes flicking over to the drawing room before she spoke “Cry what you have to cry and suffer what you have to suffer. Because everything is ephemeral in this life, everything gives way at some point and pain is not the exception. And if you have to scream, then do so, if you have to break down, then break down. Do what you have to do to start again, to be able to heal, to be able to be happy and to be able to live”

“Why are you telling me this?” you wonder confused as she stood up, grabbing your hand before she led you out to the garden, where you saw your daughter running around happily

She chuckles softly “Dear, do you really think I did not know about your affair with the viscount?” you stare at her wide eyed, speechless “Do you think I had no idea that you snuck him in every night on your first season? Of course I did know, you are my only daughter and I would be damned if I let you be hurt by anything.”

You went to make up something but she cut you off “ And do not make some excuse that it was actually you who snuck out because you went for morning rides on your horse because it is not even believable” your mama rolls her eyes “ I care for you and your brother, and now little Amelia, more than anyone in this world, even more than your father. I love my children and grandchildren, that is the reason why I never said anything to you or to anyone. I saw how happy he made you, I thought you hid your courtship because you did not desire the society's attention on you both and that you would soon inform us that you were together, maybe even engaged”

“Mama…” you whisper looking down

“But then that light I saw in your eyes faded, you would spend your days locked in your bedchamber's , and imagine my surprise when you announced a month after, that you were getting married to Jacob Thornwell” your mama let out a shaky breath “You do not know how heartbroken I felt to see you like that. So low spirited, that the girl that used to be so happy, laughed so much and had so much love to give, was gone in a matter of a day”

“And I do not know what happened between the viscount and you but I trust you and your decisions. That is why I still supported you when you decided to marry the duke even when you were not in love with him. It was not a marriage of love but at least it was one of friendship, one in which you had a beautiful daughter” she remarked

You smiled lightly “She really is beautiful” you looked at Amelia who went to sit on the swing, looking at a butterfly that was flying by

Your mama hummed “She really did get the best of you and the viscount’s features” once again, you were left speechless, your smile fading as she laughed once she saw your expression “Oh please, I did not for one second believe that you gave birth 2 months early because of some complications you supposedly had, and Amy looks a lot like the viscount, Lady Bridgerton can surely attest to that” she then walked away after dropping that bomb on you.

“Your grace”

You looked to your side “Oh, it is you again” you pursue your lips “You surely do not understand that I do not want you near me, do you?”

“Oh come on, do not be like that” you roll your eyes at his words

“ I am not being like anything” You grumble “ I am simply annoyed that you cannot seem to take a hint and leave me alone”

“Of course I can take a hint” Anthony huffs “I just simply choose not to accede to your desires” You scoff

“Such a nice person you are” you grumble looking away

“I never said I was nice" he tilted his head to look at you better

“I can see that” you said

“Mama!” Amy slammed on to your legs “Grandmamma said i can eat some of the sweets on the table if you allow me” You look down at your daughter “Can I please eat some?” Amy gave you a pout making you laugh

“Of course” you laugh before you turned at your side when you remembered who was next too you. Anthony was looking at Amy wide eyed

“She is – is she your daughter?” He asked you, you nodded, your heart starting to pound faster.

He knelt down to her height and extended a hand, smiling at her slightly “Hello” he greeted her when she turned to him “ I am Viscount Bridgerton but you can call me Anthony”

Amy smiled happily, shaking his hand “I am Amelia but my family calls me Amy” Anthony looked at you for a moment before turning back to Amy

“How old are you, Amy?”

“Amelia, sweetheart,” you cut in “Why do you not go back to grandmamma and eat those sweets you were telling me about?”

“How old are you, Amy?” Anthony asked again

“Amy-“

“5” Amy answered him happily, showing him five fingers. Anthony snapped his eyes towards you quickly when she answered

“Amy” you stressed out, Amy looked at you then “Will you please go to grandmamma now?”

She shrugged and skipped happily towards your mama who was already looking at you three, your mama gave you a look when her eyes met yours flickering her eyes to Anthony and back to you before smiling at Amy who was now next to her.

You sighed looking at Anthony, who was now turning pale “She – why did you – Y/n, I do not understand – is she my daugh –“you cut him off, grabbing his hand and pulling him to an empty room after making sure no one saw you.

“Do not say those things where anyone can hear you, Lord Bridgerton” you snapped

He chuckled humorlessly, his eyebrows furrowing as he clenched his jaw“She is my daughter” He stated

“ No, she is not” you denied “She is Jacob’s daughter” he narrowed his eyes at you

“Do not try to lie to me because I do not believe you”

“Well you must because that is the truth” you rolled your eyes at him

“She is five” he snapped angrily “She has my mother’s eyes, Daphne’s eyes." He looked around before leaning in closer “And you and I both know Jacob liked everything but women.” Anthony stepped back, clearing his throat “You can try to deny it all you want but the proof was right there in front of me” You stayed quiet “Why did you not tell me? Did you not think I deserved to know my daughter?”

“She is not your daughter!” You exclaim “ She is mine and she is Jacob’s, not yours” Anthony looked at you hurt

You both stared at each other silently, your chests rising quickly, heavy breaths escaping both of your lips. Anthony sighed walking closer to you, you swallowed, taking one step back with every step he took towards you.

“Why did you marry Jacob Thornwell?” He asked “Did you love him?”

You shook your head, deciding to answer with the truth “It was not love. I did not marry him for love, but for friendship” he looked at you confused

“You told me you would not marry unless it was for love-“

“Yes, well, things change do they not?” you muttered, he went silent.

“I am sorry,” He admitted quietly after a few minutes “I know whatever I say is not enough, and it will also not take away any of the pain I caused you, but I am truly sorry, please believe me, Y/n” he held onto your hands, you look down at your intertwined hands

He raised your chin with his hand, making you look back up at him. “I cannot defend myself because there is no excuse that can fix what I did to you, I, myself, do not know why I did that” he swallowed “ The only thing I can say is that i loved you then, and I love you now, and if you allow me, I can continue to love you for the rest of my life ”

“There is no one else I would rather have next to me, no one else I would rather love for eternity than the one person I have really loved my entire life. No one else than the mother of my beautiful daughter.” He caressed your cheeks “Say yes, Y/n. Let us have that life that I so stupidly threw away. Let me prove that I can truly make you happy. Let me love you”

You stayed silent before speaking up “I moved on with my life, pretending that nothing had happened between us.” You admitted quietly “But there were times when you crossed my mind, especially when I looked at Amelia” you then added “you caused my heart to explode by the simple memory of something that was. It is strange, to know that even with everything that happened, that love I held for you, the same one I still have for you, never faded” his face started to light up with his words. A small smile appearing in his face.

“Does that mean you will…..”

“I do not know if I will regret this, but I have not stopped loving you. I- Anthony- I promise you, do not make me regret this or else I will really murder you” You grumble

Anthony laughs happily before pulling you into a kiss, his lips moved against yours softly, testing the waters, as if to make sure you won’t pull away before he started to kiss you more passionately. His hands pulling you close by your waist as you wrapped your hands around his neck, kissing him back just as passionately.

“I won’t” he mumbled onto your lips “If so I give you permission to murder me willingly”

You hummed before pulling away“Just let me love you before that happens” you smile.

#anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x y/n #anthony bridgerton x you #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton #bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #hyacinth bridgerton #violet bridgerton #daphne basset #daphne bridgerton #gregory bridgerton #francesca bridgerton #colin bridgerton #lady danbury #lady whistledown

[fatuismooches]

fabulam diu oblitus - postlude.

synopsis: The tale of the raven and the sparrow has long been forgotten by most, but some will always remember.

includes: dottore w/ gn! reader

notes: This is the fourth part of this fic, please read the other parts first! It seems that the fairy tale of you and Dottore comes to an end. Follows some of Sumeru's storyline. Warning for death. Angst. Thank you to my mootie @kaixserzz and my all of my dear anons (🎐, 🐓 <3) who kept me inspired to keep writing this fic :3

prelude. first interlude. second interlude. postlude. sequel.

“The raven and butterfly’s happiness continued for much longer. But of course, every creature is aware that nothing lasts forever, and even the lightning in the sky would agree with that statement. All fairytales must come to an end. That was no different for the raven and the butterfly.”

There had been a buzz around the lab lately. Some of the segments had been ordered to leave for a Fatui mission. Which, would have been a normal occurrence, were it not for the place they were headed to this time.

“Sumeru? You’re going to Sumeru?” Your home country had instantly gotten your attention, not only because you haven’t been back in centuries, but also because the segments were never usually dispatched there, instead causing their usual chaos in other nations.

“Indeed. We will see if the Balladeer is able to become the God he so desires to be,” Omega hummed, moving a hand underneath your shirt to record your heartbeat. Ah, that was right. The puppet had stolen the Electro Gnosis to use as his ascension into godhood… and Dottore would be there to see how his experiment plays out. Well, you already had a feeling about how that would turn out. 

Moving on to a different subject, although Sumeru was the home you and Zandik were chased out of, you still held fond memories of it. Many happy things happened there for you, so the thought of it made you smile.

“You have to bring back lots of stories for me! And souvenirs! Oh, I would love to see how much Sumeru has changed from all those years ago,” you dreamily smiled. Yeah, your favorite cafe was probably gone by now… but you’d love to see what replaced it!

“Of course. I expect there will be much to say with the God of Wisdom and the Traveler intervening as well,” Omega chuckled, scribbling down something on his clipboard after glancing at the monitor, before fixing your shirt back.

“Your vitals have been better lately,” the segment commented and patted your head, which you happily indulged in. It wasn’t too noticeable, but it seemed like your body was getting even a little bit better. Not much, a little. But that was good anyway. “But run along now. There is much preparation to be done regarding the trip to Sumeru.”

“Okayyyy,” you stretched your words a bit disappointedly, not wanting to leave the segment, but you knew he had a lot of work to do. So instead you settled with pecking him on the cheek which he of course returned tenfold before you went off on your way. You had quite a few segments to say goodbye to, after all! You’d miss them a lot, but, you still had the other segments here with you. And your lover of course.

Surely, they would be back in the blink of an eye. Yes, surely, they’d return just as they always did. You had no reason to think otherwise. And so for the next few days, everything was normal. Time passed regularly. You got through the days as you did with any other.

But one day was different.

You were in your room by yourself, enjoying your alone time. Because as much as you loved being around the segments, you still liked being by yourself too. But all of a sudden, your tranquility was interrupted by literally a bang on your door, which made you jump.

The knock on your door was frantic and loud. Immediately you hopped out of bed to see what could possibly be so important that your door was getting pounded, but when you opened the door there was no one there. You were very confused… how was that possible? This was a pretty long hallway. Even with the segments’ abilities, there was no way they could just disappear into thin air like that. 

A bad feeling began to creep up on you, your stomach twisting and turning. You don’t know why, but it just did. But surely you were overreacting. Perhaps… perhaps… actually, you didn’t have any valid reasoning you could think of right now. Maybe though, maybe you should go and check on them. Just in case. You know that they’ll be there, in the lab doing their experiments or perhaps bickering with each other as usual, but there was nothing wrong with double-checking. And then you’ll calm yourself with a nice hug from one of them. It would all be okay. 

But you found that your steps were quicker and longer than usual, your breathing heavier than usual. As you got closer to the main lab’s doors, you strained your ears for their voices, anything, something, but heard nothing. You licked and bit your lip that had gone dry, weak legs walking even faster if that was possible, before you swung open the doors, hoping to see those blue mops of hair you so desired to see.

Nothing. The room was empty.

Your footsteps slowed, walking into the room cautiously. It was strange because it looked as if there were people in here just a few minutes ago. Notes that were left unfinished halfway. Beakers that had broken on the floor, with some mysterious liquids soaking the floor. Strange, very strange. And yet no trace of any segments remained.

The bad feeling had grown into something much worse now. Where else? Where else could they be? 

Their rooms. You should check their rooms. They were usually there if they weren’t in the lab, doing their own respective work (because their office and rooms doubled as one since they didn’t need to sleep.) So despite how your chest burned, and your legs ached, it didn’t matter if it meant your heart would be soothed and relieved.

You ran as fast as you could, more like you tried to because your illness had really kicked in since your mind was stressing out a great amount. As you clung to the walls, catching your breath, you paid no mind to the random agents who were looking at you funny, nor did you manage to catch their words of “Omega” or “erased” or “gone.”

It took longer than it should have taken you, but at last, you made it to the corridor with the segments’ rooms. You didn’t bother to knock, swinging open the door to Alpha’s room.

Empty.

Beta’s room.

Empty.

Every single room was empty. Fuck, even Zandy’s room was empty. And he was always in there if he wasn’t with you. Your head was throbbing with unease now, your heavy, troubled breathing sounding throughout the whole hallway. Where? Where? Where did they go…?!

“[Name].” A voice sounded from behind you. Spinning around, it was Dottore. Your Dottore! Okay, at least he was still here!

“Dottore,” you breathed a sigh of relief. He would have an explanation for this. “Dottore, where are all the segments? I-I can’t find them anywhere. I mean, I know the lab is really big, but it’s strange for them not to be in these areas,” you placed a hand on your rapidly beating heart, trying to calm it, not noticing your husband’s expression.

“...” The scientist was unsure of how to break the news to you because he knew of the bond you shared with the segments.

“Dottore? Why aren’t you answering me?” He opened his mouth to respond, but paused, seemingly trying to determine the best way to phrase his words. That only worried you more, because he was never one to sugarcoat his words. Your nervousness had returned once more, burning heat from fear creeping up your shoulders. “Zandik, answer me.”

“They’re gone, [Name].” The words took a few moments to settle in, silence overtaking the area for a little bit. But only for a little bit, as your nervous laughter rang out interrupting it.

“Gone?” You repeated. “What do you mean gone? They just can’t be gone. Right? Right, Dottore?” The nervous smile that had etched its way onto your face hurt badly, the laughter mixed with wheezing was painful, but it was all you could do to convince yourself this was a lie.

“Omega has… deleted them in exchange for the Electro Gnosis.” You looked at him blankly, the former emotion on your face gone.

“Deleted? Deleted from this world? From existence?” Your tone got higher and higher as you continued speaking. You didn’t even know Omega had the ability to do that. Or that the segments could be erased in the first place. Dottore just nodded in response. 

“But- but why? Surely t-there was another way?” Your voice was on the verge of breaking into tears.

“He wanted to show respect to the God of-”

“Respect? To a God, of all people?” You hissed, bubbles of anger surfacing now through your agony. “He’s a Harbinger, is he not? And he’s stronger than that God! He- he could have easily found another way! He didn’t have to DELETE the segments! Another method HAD to have been possible! Did he even try to negotiate?!” Hot tears ran down your cheeks as you raised your voice at him. It took everything it had in you not to fully scream. You began to pace back and forth, hand covering your already tear-streaked face, whole body shaking. Your husband could only watch.

Dottore wasn’t thrilled with Omega deleting all his segments either, with the endless resources that went into creating them, but what’s done was done. And both the Electro and Dendro Gnoses were acquired. But you? You were on the verge of hysterics. He had never, not once, seen you like this. 

You had come to a stop, head buried into your arm as you braced against the wall. Oh, the segments were gone forever. They were never coming back. You could only imagine how they must have been in their last moments. That they only had a few more moments to live. You couldn’t bring yourself to think about what Zandy must have thought in his last few seconds.

And what’s more, the segments had disappeared into… nothingness. There was no trace, no remains of their bodies whatsoever. And although seeing their bodies on the floor would have certainly destroyed you, perhaps this was even a worse fate. Because it was as if they never existed at all. You couldn’t even hold their bodies one last time, or give them a proper farewell. They were just… gone. Oh, how you wished you could have at least been there in their last moments, to provide some comfort, some love, some sense of peace. The more you thought about it, the countless memories with them flowing through your mind, the weaker your violently shaking body became as you struggled to hold yourself up. Dottore instantly noticed and, worrying about your frail condition, walked up to you before you spat out at him.

“Do not come near me.” Out of all the centuries Zandik has spent with you, he has never been on the receiving end of much anger from you. Rather, it was you who dealt with that from him. But this wasn’t just anger. It felt like venom.

“Why…” You pulled yourself up once again before glaring at him with teary eyes. “Why didn’t you stop him, Zandik? You could have, couldn’t you? They didn’t have to die…!”

There was only one answer the Harbinger could provide, even though he knew you would not like it. “It was necessary to obtain the Electro and Dendro Gnoses for the Fatui.” To this, you could only laugh again once more before digging your nails into your palms so hard it hurt.

“I see. I see…” You mumbled brokenly before stepping off to the side, your steps still unsteady and wobbly as you nearly tripped. Dottore once again tensed up, body wanting to move to support you, but the look on your face made him decide against it. You then walked past him, not sparing another look at him before exiting the corridor, tears still silently running down your face. He could only watch you as you left him standing, wondering about many things yet nothing at all.

—

“From that day, there was a drastic shift in the butterfly and raven’s relationship. The butterfly was indescribably hurt by the loss of the other ravens, and could not bear the pain. It was the first time the raven had ever been subjected to such cold treatment by his lover. Usually, it was the other way around. And it seemed like fixing this would not be easy.”

Dottore thought that if he gave you some space, you’d cool off soon enough.

He thought wrong.

You had flat-out been ignoring Dottore since the day the segments were erased. And not just refusing to talk to him. You didn’t even want to be in the same space as him. If he came into your room, you would just leave. As soon as he opened his mouth, you were gone. In order to give you your meds, he had to wait until you were sleeping to slip in, because of the way you were acting. When it was time to eat, he had to leave the meal outside your door, otherwise, you wouldn’t eat. That is if you even took it. The grief made it hard for you to do a lot of things, which made it imperative for him to help, but you didn’t want it. You were distraught, but you were angry too. Why? 

Because you truly loved the segments.

Dottore did not. He did not feel the same connection as you did. So he was at a loss. He didn’t know what to do to resolve this. Apologize? No, he suspected even if he did, it wouldn’t mean anything, because you’d know he didn’t fully mean it, and it wouldn’t bring the segments back anyway. Comfort you? You wouldn’t allow him to hold you or talk to you. Il Dottore did not know what should be done.

Omega received similar treatment when finally returned from Sumeru, the Gnoses in hand. Normally, you would be waiting at the entrance whenever he returned from expeditions. This time, however, you were not, which he supposed he should have expected. You didn’t want his stories. His gifts. No, all you needed to know was that he deleted the segments. They were gone because of him, and you didn’t want to see him right now.

Omega was not a human. He was a segment. Though, that didn’t mean that he couldn’t feel emotions. He did - when it came to you. But Omega was a selfish segment. Selfish when it came to a lot of things, you included. And selfishness and emotions do not bode very well, as it becomes… a convoluted mixture.

The segment thinks of himself as a patient man. He knows how to wait, and wait, and wait until it pays off. He can do that for you, too. Wait for you to come back to your senses. After all, they were just segments, right? And the superior one, the best one of them all was still here - him. So surely you won’t be like this for too long.

Just like his creator, he was proven wrong. He learned the depth of your anger a day he tried reaching out to you, wanting to put this whole situation behind. But you certainly didn’t share the same sentiment. It was like any other day, him talking to you and you walking away, but this time he reached out for you. The segment unconsciously longed for your touch, your affection, that was once so commonplace.

But as soon as you felt his fingers brush yours, you slapped Omega’s hand away with a scowl. You didn’t need to say anything. That one action spoke everything you wanted to.

You would never view him the same ever again.

—

“And so the butterfly found themselves drowning and suffocating in grief. Their whole life had been changed, the creatures who helped them through so much were now gone. But that would not be the last of the butterfly’s sorrow.”

You had been giving the cold shoulder to Zandik and Omega for a long time. Considering how clingy and affectionate you were before, they didn’t even know you had it in you. But now, it was as different as night and day. However, it wasn’t as much as it was before, because you still had to rely on them in order to live. Despite how much you didn’t want to, without them, you’d be dead. They were the ones who had to administer your medicine and give you check-ups so your condition wouldn’t get worse (although it already happened after the segments were deleted.) It was funny how easily progress could be reversed. How one thing, one random day, could change everything.

So eventually you had to let them in a bit. Most of the time you just ignored them and rarely spoke. Even during the checkups and shots, you had your head turned the other way the whole time. They would still attempt to talk to you, in hopes you would even grace them with a “yes” or “no” rather than the rare nod of your head. But it wasn’t very fruitful. 

Another habit of yours now was that if you weren’t in your room, you were most likely in a segment’s room crying. Especially Zandy’s. Clutching his plushies. Or maybe Alpha’s. Trying to fix up the parts he left lying on his desk. Or Beta’s. Going into his closet to wear his coat. Dottore knew better than to clean out their rooms because you would most likely snap at him again.

You didn’t have much energy to do anything else but lay in your room, blankly staring at the ceiling all day, your head a foggy, grief-filled mess. It did not feel good… you hated the feeling… but what else should you do…? You just wished you could feel the warmth of your segments… the seemingly annoyed but secretly delighted posture of Alpha as you held him from behind. The bitey nature of Beta that didn’t let you go once you were in his clutches. The small, clingy body of Zandy as he cuddled into your body, sweet dreams blessing him instead of the nightmares. But you could only dream about those things now.

Even the regular Fatui agents had noticed this development. The lovey-dovey nature of Il Dottore’s spouse was now reduced to this. You heard them speak about it.

“Have you noticed? Lord Dottore has been far more irritable lately.”

“Oh yeah, both Omega and Prime! I feel bad for those who have to work directly with them…. At least my job is just standing at this door all day.”

“I know. They always were terrifying, but it seems even worse now. Ugh, and now there’s even more work for us since all the segments are gone.”

“Do you know why? Has Lord Pantalone decreased his budget again?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of obvious…” The agent lowered his voice to a whisper. “His spouse, [Name], has been giving them the silent treatment for ages now. Don’t tell anyone this but, I believe that our great Harbinger, Lord Il Dottore… is feeling the effects of this. I’ve never seen them act like this!”

“Is that so? Speaking of, I don’t think I’ve seen them around here very much.”

“Well yes… if you were here for as long as I have been, you’d normally see them all over the lab but, they tend to stay locked up in their room nowadays. And Lord Dottore as well, he doesn’t leave his office much either. Omega seems to take care of much of the outward responsibilities.”

So that was what it was like. You got your answer to if Dottore missed you. You wondered how many people accidentally became his test subjects due to his rising temper because of you. But though it may not have looked like it, not speaking to your husband was hurting you tremendously as well. Because at the end of the day… he was your love, your life. He was your Zandik, the one who meant everything to you. The one who went through everything and anything with you. He was the only one you had… you still loved him, terribly so. Maybe that was a bigger weakness than your illness.

But that didn’t mean you were any less mad at him.

Omega, on the other hand… ah, you didn’t even know what to think anymore… you were so conflicted, it was so hard to even think… when you said you loved all the segments, that included him too. But he deleted all of them… you hated him… but did you love him too? No, you should continue to hate him, he was the selfish one… Zandy was gone because of him… you couldn’t forgive him! So you didn’t forgive him. The days continued the same as always. 

Until one fateful day.

Omega was set to head out on a mission. Which was quite unusual nowadays, because ever since the clones were deleted, he couldn’t afford to leave Snezhnaya with all the work that had to be done. All you had heard was that the blonde-haired traveler would be there too, from all the whispering around the lab.

But what did it matter to you? Whether the segment was here or not, it was the same to you. His whereabouts were surely not of concern to you, so you had no feelings on this. Though the night before he was set to leave, he knocked on your door anyway. You immediately pulled the blankets over your face and curled to the side of the bed so you wouldn’t see Omega. The door shut with a click and his boots sounded against the floor.

“Hello, [Name]. I’m sure you’ve heard by now that I am leaving soon. It is another critical mission for the Fatui, and I suspect the Traveler will be there once again.” He didn’t receive a response from you, which he expected. “But I’m sure this is of no interest to you, anyway.” He guessed right, you thought, you didn’t care. However, even after saying what he had to say, he did not leave. A silence overtook the room as neither of you moved or spoke. But then Omega called your name, with another short silence coming after it before he spoke once more.

“I will not ask for your forgiveness, because I know I will not receive it, nor will I apologize, because I believe I took the right course of action. But…” Omega paused, “I still hold you fondly. I still…” He reached his hand out to your covered body but drew it back before his fingertips could brush you.

“I hope we will be able to talk more once I return.” He seemed to wait a few more seconds, perhaps hoping you would stay something, hoping he could at least see your face before he left, but to no avail. All you heard was the retreating footsteps and the click of your door shutting once more. You pulled the blankets off so you could breathe properly again, as you thought about his words.

What should you do? You didn’t know. The segments had passed quite a while ago, and the pain was still fresh in your heart, but Omega… ugh… perhaps, maybe, just maybe, you could try talking to him once more. Only an attempt. If you didn’t like how it felt, you’d stop. And he wasn’t returning from the mission for a few months, so you had ample time to make your decision anyway.

But Omega never returned.

The next few months flew by quickly, and though Omega had not returned yet, you thought nothing of it. Something must have come up that delayed his return. It’s happened before, it probably happened again. That was until you noticed groups of Fatui huddled together murmuring in the lab. As soon as they saw you, they went back to work and shut up their little gossip quickly, which was very strange. Now you really needed to know what was going on, so you decided to silently eavesdrop on the next pair you found. But you would have never thought of the words you heard next.

Omega had been killed by the Traveler. 

Omega was dead.

Omega wasn’t coming back.

You would never see him ever again. The realization made your body weak as you stumbled back, having to cling to the wall for support. He was gone… the tears immediately sprang to your eyes, as you covered your mouth to keep your sobs down. Omega killed the other segments. Maybe a part of you should feel glad. But no, all you felt was red-hot grief and pain, as you crashed into the nearest random room, and cried, and cried, and cried.

If you knew that was the last time you would see him, you wouldn’t have acted like that…

You wonder why things had to turn out like this.

—

“The butterfly never truly recovered from their loss, but as they say, time heals all wounds.”

After Omega died, you didn’t have the energy to be mad anymore. You were just tired. Tired of everything. Everything felt like a chore. Though you saw your husband more often now. Since there were no more segments, and Dottore obviously wouldn’t trust even the best Fatui doctors with you, he was the one who did all the usual medical stuff for you now.

Admittedly, his touch felt nice. It felt good. It felt like exactly what you needed right now. Comfort. So you gave in. When he had finished the usual procedure, as he turned his back on you, you reached out and wouldn’t let go of his hand. Dottore stiffened from the contact - it had been a while since you’d touched him so intimately - but you didn’t let go, and only weakly tugged him closer, which he complied to. You couldn’t bring your eyes to meet his, instead blankly staring at his shoes, but he seemed to get the message anyway. Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around you to gauge your reaction, and when he saw no resistance, he pulled you into his chest and held you. You missed this feeling. You missed Zandik.

And maybe you were scared he would leave you too.

Things continued like that for a while. You’d seek your husband out for his touch. His presence. His voice. Anything that would bring you some peace. Though you still remained mostly silent during these times. You just didn’t know what to say. Sometimes you wondered if he was mad at you. Annoyed. Disappointed. You didn’t want to know though. You were content with the fact that Zandik would hold you in his lap even at the wildest hours of the night.

But now, it had been some time since Omega’s death and even longer since the other segments were erased.

You weren’t quite ready to move on, no, not yet, but it was inevitable. Or perhaps you would never truly move on, instead, they would always be a part of you. You’d always carry them with you. But regardless, you needed to try, at least for Zandy. You think he’d want you to try and smile more often. You were speaking a bit more to your Harbinger friends again, and finding some enjoyment in your hobbies. Not to mention your relationship with Zandik was becoming better again. He had still been there, even when your illness and grief had you at your worst, with no complaints. Even though he had nothing to gain from this relationship. Even though you had become someone different. He had always loved you.

But there was still a rift caused by everything that had happened, that you wanted to fix. Because at the end of the day, in this world, you two only had each other. So you decided to talk to him about it. You had a habit of this, just waltzing into his office without knocking, and came upon Dottore who had a small box in his hand, appearing to gaze at whatever was in it, before he quickly snapped it shut at your sudden arrival. You recognized that box. It was the one where he kept his wedding ring in. So he still had it like that after all these years. You pretended like you didn’t see it as he swiftly put it away.

“[Name].”

“Zandik. Are you busy right now?”

“No.” Both of you knew that was a lie. The Second Harbinger was always busy. You knew for a fact he was stretched thin, especially since he wasted so much time taking care of you along with his Fatui duties, which piled up quickly with no more segments.

“Alright… can we talk?”

“Of course.” Zandik had been especially attentive to your words lately. Perhaps because he missed the times you would talk his ear off.

“I want to make something clear.” Zandik looked at you curiously as you took a deep breath. Many possibilities raced through his head.

“I still love you, Zandik.”

Well, he certainly wasn’t expecting that, and you could tell, even though his expression did not betray his thoughts.

“You already know the reason I’m…” Your voice trailed off, not wanting to say the words aloud, but you continued. “But I… appreciate you for staying by me. For all these centuries, through everything. It’s been a… very long time. And although things are different now, I want us to be… happy again. It might not be immediately but… it’s because I love you, Zandik.” You swallowed, at the end, your voice growing a bit softer. Ah, you hoped that wasn’t too sentimental. Zandik’s expression was blank so you couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“So yeah, that’s all… I guess.” All of a sudden, the silence that followed made you embarrassed, and you wanted to leave there as quickly as possible. “Okay, I-I’ll let you do your work now.” And then you hastily made your exit and left the Harbinger alone, before he started chuckling to himself. He’d expect nothing less from you, his dear, darling spouse.

Though he wonders if you realize time is irrelevant for him. He’ll wait for you as long as it takes.

—

“One thing about the raven and the butterfly that would never change was that they were wholly intertwined with each other. Their fates were one. So even if they happened to go their separate ways, they would inevitably return to one another again.”

It was actually quite scary how fast time flew. From the time you woke up, to marrying Dottore, to the segments passing, to right now… it felt like a blur. You guess, now that your life span was no longer that of a regular human’s, time was starting to skew a bit for you. Well, you were just excited to spend decades more, even centuries with him.

Throughout all the years that had passed since that day, you found yourself falling more and more in love with Zandik again. You suppose that should be normal for a married couple but, it never ceased to amaze you how one man could make you feel like this.

Something that had become somewhat of a habit for the two of you was dancing. Yes, dancing. It had come up during one of your wedding anniversaries. To be honest, neither of you really did or planned anything special for the day. Perhaps there was a bit more kissing along with other affectionate activities, but you two didn’t look at it as something that big. First, because you didn’t want to waste his already precious time, but also because you knew from the beginning the wedding anniversaries would be countless. So every anniversary was more of something you expected, so it was nothing too big to celebrate, especially as people who lived this long… if that made sense. And Dottore… was Dottore after all. Never one to care much for dates.

But on one anniversary you were reminded of how you two danced during the wedding. Your clumsy steps as Dottore guided you through it all, and you wanted to relive that, so he indulged you. And funnily enough, you were a lot better! Your steps weren’t as unsteady and your body didn’t ache as much. Dottore’s feet didn’t get assaulted by yours too much. Even Dottore was pleasantly surprised. It probably had to do with the fact that although you weren’t cured yet, your health had been up on an upward curve. Of course, never the best but, much better than you first were. You were proud of yourself for making it this far.

So now, when you had time, you found yourself rehearsing your steps with him and your husband twirling you around. Perhaps one day you could reach his level.

You found that there were days that reminded you of the Akademiya. Where you could help him with his notes and research like a real assistant would. Obviously, it still wasn’t the best but it was something, and you could see that Dottore liked it. These days often came with you teasing him with embarrassing memories from the Akademiya.

“I still remember when you got motion sickness from piloting that ruin golem, Zandik.”

“For the last time, I did not get motion sickness, [Name].”

“Mhm, sure. If I didn’t drag you out, you would have-”

“That is enough from you.”

You found that there were more days he would take you out into the Snezhnayan winters (you were bundled up to the max) so you could finally see the snow. You found yourself attending your first balls at the Tsaritsa’s palace, as Dottore was now forced to attend himself rather than his segments. He didn’t want to leave you by yourself in the dreary lab so… you were often his plus one, where you spent the evening poking fun at him with Columbina. (You also were the one who publicly took sweets to-go from the parties for him so he wouldn’t get judged.)

And perhaps your favorite memory was when he took you back to Sumeru - yes, to another country - so you could witness the Akademiya Extravaganza festival. He, of course, had no interest in it, but you being you and loving fun things absolutely did. Many things happened, including meeting the Traveler… but that story was for another day.

All in all, you always knew this but, you found that no matter how many years passed, no matter what Il Dottore has done, no matter the amount of sins and wrongfulness he has committed… you were hopelessly in love with him. From the time he was that perpetually irritated but in love student from the Akademiya to his current self, the Harbinger that was a stark contrast to his former self but still possessed you for himself.

Sure, it was a bit lonely at times compared to before, but all the tender moments throughout the years made you happy to have Zandik in your life. Which is why you foolishly thought these times would last forever.

When Dottore told you he was leaving Snezhnaya, and therefore the lab, and therefore you, it jolted you right up from your sleepy daze on his lap.

“What?!” The word came out as a half yell, half-whisper. “What do you mean you’re leaving Snezhnaya?”

“It means I’m leaving Snezhnaya, dear,” he continued on his paperwork (which never seemed to end) as if this was common knowledge. “The mission needs a Harbinger to oversee it, and the task falls to me this time.” 

You were devastated. There were times when Dottore only had to leave the lab for a few days to attend to matters in different parts of Snezhnaya. (You spent the time at Columbina’s mansion because oddly enough, she always seemed to be there… how did she manage to shirk her duties so often?) But this was completely different. He would be so far out of reach, for a long time probably too. Foreign missions always took a while. You remember how long you had to wait for the segments to return from them.

“Okay, then I’ll come with you!”

“No, you’re not,” he immediately shut down your proposition. “Missions are still far too dangerous with your current state. You will stay in Snezhnaya, and wait for me to come back.” You knew when he used that tone, things were final, and you hung your head low, all sleepiness gone at the fact you wouldn’t be seeing him for months. Sure, you would be staying with Bina as usual but, you had a feeling it’d be hard to replace the rush of emotions Dottore gave you on a daily basis. 

Dottore noticed your dour expression, which he obviously expected, and sighed, setting down his pen. At this point, it was a sort of routine that he had memorized, comforting you and all. Although comfort would never be something he was adept in, years of doing it had let him become somewhat proficient. 

“[Name],” he moved his hand to guide your chin up so you could look at him. You were pouting. “These few months, or even less, depending on how quickly the work gets done, will only be a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things. I’ll be back before you know it,” he hummed. Although he certainly was not pleased about leaving you by yourself for so long, such was the life of a Fatui Harbinger. It was at times like these he missed his segments. (Did that sound selfish? Well, he was a selfish man when it came to you.)

A drop in eternity, huh? Well, when he puts it like that, then maybe it would be just a bit bearable. And, when you think about it, he’s waited over four hundred years for you, all alone. So this little challenge couldn’t be too hard, right?

“Alright… I’ll wait for you, Zandik.”

“Good,” he chuckled at how easy it was to win you over sometimes and stroked your cheek. “In the meantime, you can work on the recipe you’ve been vehemently hiding from me and show me when I’m back.” You immediately brightened at that.

“Oh yeah! I promise you’re going to like these sweets better than the ones at the bakery!” You proudly declared.

“Oh? Now that’s a high standard you’ve set yourself to, dear. Are you sure you’re going to be able to live up to it?”

“Hmph, don’t underestimate me. My baking skills have improved over the years!”

The banter always made you two feel like regular humans, despite what you two really were.

—

“The days went by peacefully for the lonely butterfly, but soon that feeling was shattered when they learned of a golden comet’s presence near their raven.”

The days in Columbina’s mansion went by rather uneventfully. Surprisingly enough, she wasn’t home as often as usual. It seemed like the Fatui were really stepping up their business now. You’d have to ask Dottore about that. Maybe the day Celestia is defeated was closer than you thought. But today was a day Bina had some time to indulge in cakes and conversation with you. The chit-chat was mundane but brought a sense of comfort until the conversation somehow ended up with Dottore as the topic. Your friend always liked teasing you about him. Everything was lighthearted and sweet until she idly mentioned his mission.

“I wonder how your Doctor is doing on the mission~”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s Dottore after all.”

“Mhm, that’s right. I do wonder how he plans to deal with the Traveler though.” The mention of the blonde’s name nearly made you drop your teacup.

“W-What?” Your voice cracked as you implored your friend to tell you more. You were now realizing that you neglected to ask Dottore what the mission exactly was, and he did not reveal the contents as well, probably because he knew you’d freak even more if you knew he was most likely going to confront the Traveler. Columbina looked confused.

“Dear, did he not tell you?”

“No! I- ah, he only told me he has a mission in another nation, I guess it slipped my mind to ask him the details!” You now had your hand clutched to your head and another one trying to soothe your now rapidly beating heart. A naive and very stupid part of you thought it wouldn’t have to come to this, but it already did, so quickly too. 

Why were you so particularly scared? It was because all you could think of was Omega’s death by the Traveler’s hand, as well as your fellow colleagues. You knew that Dottore was far stronger than any of them but… you were in a panic. All the worst possible scenarios began invading your mind relentlessly.

“[Name], calm down. Dottore is strong. We do not even know if it will end in a battle or not, but regardless of the outcome, he is smart enough to-” Bina attempted to comfort you before you interrupted her and abruptly stood up.

“I need to go.”

“Go? Go to Dottore, dear?”

“Yes. Yes, I need to see him. I need-” Your words were becoming a jumbled mess from the anxiety this piece of news caused. “I need to see him in person if he’s okay.”

“You do not think you should think about this some more? I suspect the Doctor will not be happy if he sees you there, even if it’s you of all people.”

“It doesn’t matter. If I stay here, all I’ll be able to think about is him.” You could already see yourself losing sleep and appetite over this. “But as long as I can see him okay… even if he’s angry, I can deal with it. Anything is better than being over here helpless!” Columbina watched you silently.

“Alright. Be ready in a few days.” You looked at her in surprise.

“Bina? You’re helping me? You’re not going to… stop me?”

“Dear [Name], I will not get in the way of a decision you’ve made for yourself. If this is what you’ve decided, then it is my duty as your friend to assist you as I’ve done in the past. And perhaps this will teach the Doctor a lesson to stop withholding information from you,” the Harbinger sighed.

“…Thank you, Columbina.” You’d have to repay her sometime later.

—

“The raven and the butterfly found themselves reunited again at long last, and would stay together like that forever.”

It was funny you found yourself back here, your home country. It seems like you two were always drawn back here, despite no longer being welcomed. But that didn’t really matter too much, because as soon as the boat you were on pulled into the port, it was clear that today was not a normal day in Sumeru City.

You were too late. 

The fight had clearly already begun, probably only recently too, by the chaotic state of Sumeru. Obviously, it’d be out of order if there were two immensely powerful beings in battle with each other. Maybe, if you were just a bit sooner… but you already had your mind set. Although the Fatui agent entrusted with your safety was ready to head back already, his orders to not let you come to any danger, you just tranquilized him. (It was a courtesy device from Dottore in case he wasn’t near.)

And you ran. Was that a good idea considering your illness? Absolutely not, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Was it a good idea to walk into the middle of a battle? Also no, but you couldn’t shake the bad feeling you had this whole time. 

Although it was far away, it was easy to spot the place, as for one there were Fatui swarming the area and also regular citizens running in the opposite direction. Though your lungs were absolutely burning, your knees weak and scraped from tripping, tired from bumping into others, illness flaring up even worse from the added stress and exertion, you continued ahead with only one goal. To see your husband.

Throughout your haggard walking, you thought of the future. You thought of how great it would be to see Teyvat change in the next four hundred years just as he did. And this time, Dottore would not have to witness it by himself. He would have you. It would be amazing, just thinking of all the variety of new inventions and such that would be created! You two would surely dissect them and put them back together for fun. You two would do a lot of things, you think, as you finally made it to the door of the grand building the fight was in. It was already rather damaged, but the door managed to remain mostly intact, so you pushed it open.

Just in time to see the Traveler land the final fatal hit to Zandik, his body landing on the floor with a painful thud.

Your worst nightmare had become reality. But… Zandik told you he’d return to you in no time…

Suddenly, all the will you had before was gone in an instant. You didn’t have the energy or focus to call out his name. All you could do was blankly stare at his defeated body while taking some hesitant steps forward, all while mumbling something incoherent under your breath. The Traveler, despite their exhaustion, noticed you and immediately readied their sword again. But, they soon realized that there was no need for that from the exceedingly dull look in your eyes and the way you tripped over yourself again, landing on the floor, reaching out your hand towards the Doctor. You had to make it to him.

You pathetically dragged your body closer to Zandik, every part of it screaming out in part for you to stop. But you didn’t care. You could take it. After all, you knew the pain would soon be over. The Traveler merely watched you, still a bit on edge for what you could do, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care about anything besides Zandik, so you continued inching your body to your husband before you finally reached him. His body was practically motionless, his face revealed as his mask was destroyed to the side somewhere. When you came into view, a flicker of surprise came across his face but it quickly morphed into one of acceptance.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” You half-laughed at that.

“I could say the same to you…” Your voice had dropped to a soft, defeated one. Huffing and panting, you used your last remaining strength to pull yourself up and kneel, tenderly bringing your husband’s head onto your lap. He did not resist. It wasn’t like he had the strength to anyway. “You didn’t tell me you were going to be here, either.”

“It was not necessary… at the time,” Zandik said, looking right at you the whole time with those red eyes of his. “But I suppose I should have expected this. You never do as you are told, do you?”

“Of course not. But you should remember that whenever I break the rules, things turn out fine for us.” You smiled, and you had a feeling both of you were thinking of the same memories. That time you helped him break into the Akademiya’s library when it was closed, or the time you threw a book at someone for him, or the time you two helped each other on what was supposed to be solo assignments. Or the times you ran away from his needles and medicine, or the times you went behind his back and befriended the others. Those times ended out okay, so this time would be okay too.

Then, the building began to rumble, most likely about to collapse. The battle must have been quite fierce. Although the Traveler felt no remorse for the two of you, their kind heart still couldn’t help but feel the slightest twinge of pity. After all, the blonde had read the notes the two of you left scattered around Sumeru. To think that a relationship could last so long, especially one with the mad Doctor… You noticed their expression before you rasped out a mixture of a plea and demand.

“Why are you still here? Leave us now. I want to be alone with him.” Your words were empty of emotion towards them. There was no point in any hostility anymore, not when you had to treasure the last moments with your beloved. The Traveler didn’t seem surprised by your words, as they nodded and threw the bloodied Harbinger one last glance, before running away with the little fairy. It seemed they knew… you’d rather die here along with him than live without him.

You looked back at Zandik’s face, his once brightly colored red eyes now a darkened hue.

“I’ve failed you, [Name].” Since it was the end of the line now, even a genius scholar such as him had to admit defeat. Dottore thought back to all the times he swore to cure you. He swore he would do it so that you could be who you used to be once more. But he failed. He let you lose centuries of your life and left you in pain for your conscious ones. But you didn’t seem to share the sentiment.

“Failed me?” You couldn’t help but laugh at that, despite the tears that began to run down your cheeks. “Oh darling, you have never failed me. Not once in over four hundred years.” Zandik continued to stare at you because that was all the strength he had to do, so you reached for his hand and brought it to your cheek.

“You’ve loved me continuously for so many centuries, haven’t you? How could that ever be a failure?” You nuzzled into his hand, his own blood beginning to smear on your face, but you didn’t care. 

“Your love has changed so much over time. From your prickly and thorny yet beautiful love from the Akademiya. To your smooth and unabashed love now. But your love was unfaltering, to me at least. Perhaps I may be delusional, and I overthink how much you love me. But I think it was real, even though you may never admit it, that is what matters to me. So if you’re thinking about the cure, forget it.” Your hands were shaking and struggling to hold his to your cheek for this long, energy spent, but you continued anyway, even as a piece of the infrastructure suddenly caved in and collapsed on the opposite side of the room with a loud crash. “The cure isn’t what mattered. It was you.”

Zandik thinks you are the only person who has forgiven him. Not even he has. He knows he does not deserve it, but he shouldn’t say that to you now. But he thinks, even at this moment, perhaps it may seem sick or morbid, your beauty still manages to surpass that of any other being in Teyvat.

You thought about the Tsaritsa, who had shown you much love and kindness. You hoped she would finally achieve her goals. You thought about the other Harbingers, the ones who were still alive at least. You would miss them. You looked at your wedding ring. It was still intact. How lovely. Lastly, you thought about Zandik as you looked at him, and he seemed to realize something.

“[Name], reach into my pocket.” You were confused but you complied, wincing in pain a bit but successfully reached it and pulled out a box. It was the box he kept his wedding wing in. Popping it open, you were correct, and still couldn’t help but be a bit incredulous.

“You brought it with you?” You were surprised because a part of you still believed he thought the whole thing was a bit dumb.

“I normally do not but, with the length of the mission, I believed it would be a simple and easy way to be reminded of you.” That was cute.

“Sorry. I guess the good luck charm didn’t work,” you smiled apologetically as you slipped the band onto his finger, to which Zandik scoffed.

“You know very well I do not believe in luck.” You only laughed, though it was mostly drowned out by multiple crashes and rocks falling all around you. Being buried was a fitting end, to be honest. No one else needed to know about the two of you. No one else needed to know your stories. It would be best if the two of you ended up forgotten, lost to time. Then, no one would be able to misunderstand or twist your relationship.

Despite all of the pains that had befallen you, the suffering and hardships, you could happily say you lived a good life. You were happy, so happy, thanks to Zandik. Zandik was what made this life worth living… so this was okay. You would have loved to have been cured and lived out many more happy memories with him but… this was alright. But the time was limited, so this conversation needed to be wrapped up in a way that would satisfy you.

“I love you, Zandik.” You don’t expect any response back because of your husband’s poor track record with saying those words. 

The times Zandik has said the words ‘I love you’ have admittedly been scarce and in-between despite the centuries he’s spent with you. It was a grand total of… two times. And both had been said when he thought you were sleeping. 

The first time had been in the Akademiya. It had been a while since you two were a couple, and he had yet to say it. You expected that obviously. But one random night, when you two were cuddling and drifting off into dreamland, you heard the three words mumbled into the crook of your neck. It took everything in you not to react.

The second time had been when you had recently woken up from your coma. Dottore was around you constantly, taking so many tests that it made your head spin, and you had to take naps more often than not. And once again, as you were just about to slip off into slumber, you heard the three words whispered as he gently bit your ear.

Surprisingly enough, the third time would be now. Perhaps because he had nothing to lose anymore, as it was the end.

“I love you as well, [Name].” Your eyes go wide for a few seconds before you grin widely one last time, and you give him a look that says ‘I know.’ Zandik watched your eyes flutter shut as you leaned down to his face, and he let himself be enveloped in your final kiss, neither of you paying attention to the shadows cast by the multitude of broken architecture about to fall on top of you.

Let the fairy tale come to a close.

—

“In his last moments, the raven was taken back to a memory from centuries ago. It was a memory where he was truly happy with his lovely sparrow.”

Zandik awoke to a blue sky and a gentle breeze. He blinked, immediately trying to gauge where he was. But then the sound of a familiar voice flooded his senses.

“And you know what this professor had the audacity to say to me, Zandik? ‘Figure it out!’ Like, you’re supposed to be helping me, not writing me off! You’re getting paid for this!” You were lying down on the grass next to him, hands folded as you huffed. “At least I have you, Zandik. Way better than any damn professor.” He blinks at you. 

Zandik remembers this moment. It was the day when exams and classes were finally over, and you wanted to relax before helping him with his experiments. And you also thought it was the perfect time to rant about all the professors you had to deal with over the last few months. But soon, you just started bringing up random things that occurred over the term. Zandik couldn’t remember the last time he saw you like this. Donning the Akademiya uniform, so happy and carefree… healthy, strong, like nothing in the world bothered you.

He found himself slightly smiling at how stupidly happy you looked, before reaching out to you. But as soon as merely his fingernails came into contact with you, you began to dissolve right in front of his eyes. Immediately, he stiffened and sat up, again trying to take hold of you but you were no longer there. Zandik’s hands began to shake, and that’s when he realized his surroundings were changing.

The blue sky was now fading away, becoming pitch black along with everything else that was chipping away, ready to swallow him whole into the darkness.

Ah, he understood now.

This was the end.

—

“Finally, the twisted raven met his fate.”

Or so he thought. Zandik woke up once more. Everything seemed normal at first, the blue sky was once again there and the Sumerian breeze caressed his hair. Until he realized there was a sticky substance coated all over his hands.

Blood.

This wasn’t an unfamiliar occurrence for him, after all, he would usually get hands-on with his experiments, but he had an… odd feeling about this. Zandik blinked and all of a sudden, there you were lying on the ground in front of him.

Dead. Coated with blood.

Did he… kill you?

All too quickly, before he could reach out to hold your body or begin to process what happened, he was suddenly somewhere else. The desert.

Zandik laid eyes upon you. What he would usually see was you complaining about the heat while you dug through the ruins. What he saw instead was an Eremite plunging a sword through you.

And again. This time he awoke to you being completely cold and limp in his arms. And again. It didn’t take his brain long for him to understand what was happening.

His victims and test subjects could torture him for eternity, yet Dottore would not feel bothered or a shred of remorse. It would be a useless endeavor. But this? This was the perfect punishment. 

His beloved being killed in front of him, by the world, by other people, by natural forces, by his own hands. And for all of the power and knowledge he once had, he was powerless to do anything yet again.

… How ironic, Zandik thought.

—

At last, the tiny Archon closed the storybook.

It had been ages since the events in this tale had taken place. The Fatui were no more, Celestia was gone, the Traveler had long left this world, and Teyvat was at peace. So much time, that the Outcast’s name no longer floated around the Akademiya, now long forgotten. The God of Wisdom herself had gained a tremendous amount of knowledge from all the years that had flown by. And even still, she has not forgotten this story.

Yet, in all of her wisdom, she still cannot hope to fully understand the raven and the sparrow. The Dendro Archon found herself coming back to this tale, trying to comprehend their actions and thoughts. She reads it aloud to herself, draws pictures, and crafts the tale with her own words, yet it only leaves her more lost. Perhaps one day she will understand. But perhaps she won’t. Perhaps no one ever will.

After all, there were only two people who would ever truly understand the bond between the raven and the sparrow. 

Zandik and [Name]. 

An unfriendly and cold scholar and a sweet and caring one.

An immoral villain and an accomplice.

A violator of this world’s laws and a supporter.

A Harbinger and an assistant.

Regardless of those titles, perhaps at the end of the day, they only saw themselves as one thing to each other.

Two people who loved each other as if nothing else mattered.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #dottore angst #dottore fluff #genshin dottore x reader #genshin dottore #genshin il dottore #genshin impact il dottore #il dottore #dottore #fatui harbingers x reader #fatui x reader #zandik x reader #genshin impact zandik #genshin impact x you #fragile reader <3 #divider by cafekitsune #achievement unlocked: fabulam diu oblitus - witness the tragic end of the doctor and his assistant… #was that necessary? no but i wanted to say that anyway

[michelleelizabethtanner]

Hey! Was just curious, what are your favorite Brio five? I need recs😭

Hi Anon! Sorry to leave you on read for a bit. Things got busy.

My favorite fics are probably older fics so idk how helpful I’ll be to you since I’m playing cathchup. I haven’t had a ton of time to read lately. Although, I have been slowly making my way through A Special Kind of Business. I haven’t read a lot of AUs so I’m trying to expand my knowledge of them. This is such a good one! It’s so funny and so in character, despite being a high school AU. The writing is so clever and easy to lose yourself in. I’m enjoying it a lot.

There’s of course A Rational Choice which everyone has already read. It’s the most iconic fic and at this point its incomplete infamy has me in absolute knots.

Both Sides of the Law always always always has my heart. The characterization is so on point and I easily got lost in the storytelling of it all. I sent it to my mom who’s never seen Good Girls, and she liked it too!

Kingmaker is a series I absolutely could NOT put down. I dreamt about it. I daydreamed about it during work. Every single piece of this work is so deeply emotional. The series doesn’t focus on Brio. It’s about Rio. Beth lives in this universe too, but she isn’t central to it. This is a really honest and gritty characterization of Rio as a man. What it takes for Rio to become Rio. What he gives up. The emotional damage that does to him and those around him. How he builds his code of ethics and how he rationalizes his choices to be able to live with himself. I was so engrossed. The author's voice is very believable and emotionally intelligent. It isn’t a finished series but I am anxiously waiting for any and all updates.

Only You Show Me What Warmth Is was my introduction into Brio fic. It’s what made me fall in love with fics in this fandom. The atmosphere in these is really gentle. The works are both loving and smutty. Rio is very soft. It’s domestic. Definitely a comfort series for me.

I couldn’t settle on which work by Linzackles to pick because I can’t choose just one. Everything is just so good. I’ll say Do Not Collect $200 because it’s long and I really loved reading it. She just has this way of characterizing Brio so accurately, in so many different settings and situations. And always emotional and engrossing.

What are your favorites? And why is no one doing podcasts for these fics? Because I would really love having something to listen to while I drive or work. We should really get on that.

#fic recs #good girls nbc #good girls fics #asks #brio

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

(Much more than) Seven Sentence Sunday

Thank you @carlos-in-glasses for the tag! Seven Sentence Sunday is so amazing because I get to read the most amazing snippets and get super excited about future fics, but getting tagged is so lovely because it makes me feel like I have a little deadline where I don’t have to write anymore than seven sentences which really has helped motivate me to turn some ideas into writing!!

I hereby post my very first Tarlos snippet and my first entry to Seven Sentence Sunday!

It is way way longer than seven sentences but as it is my very first time posting and I’m just posting everything I’ve written so far (I literally just wrote it this evening) I hope you can bear with me🙃

Btw this is just pure whump and domestic caretaking/them seeing each other at their worst but it’s the idea that I had the most clear words for so this is what I’m starting off with

Andrea picks up the phone after the second ring.

“Hola mijo!” It’s a good thing you called actually, I was just about to prepare the tamales for lunch tomorrow. How are TK doing on the spices at the moment, is he picking up some tolerance yet? I don’t want to make them too spicy of course, but I really think he should taste them the way your grandma really used to make-“

“Hola Mama.” Carlos hurries. He feels bad for interrupting her but he wants to cancel their plans for lunch tomorrow as soon as possible so he can get back to TK. After today TK will probably be a bit more spice averse than usual anyway, he thinks with a frown, even though they have been working on him upping his tolerance lately.

“Actually mama, I’m really sorry for doing this so late, but I think we’re going to have to cancel tomorrow..”

“Oh no mijo, why? Is everything okay?” Andrea asks before Carlos can finish his sentence, concern lacing her voice.

“Yeah.. I mean, not really”, Carlos clarifies, picking the bridge of his nose. “Actually, TK’s not feeling so good at the moment.” That might be the understatement of the year, Carlos thinks but he doesn’t think TK would want him to lay out all the gritty details of his current condition. “He um, he had those tacos, you know, from that place out by Cameron Road, the one that they’ve been trying to shut down for year-“

Carlos is interrupted again by his mother gasping dramatically at the other end of the line.

“Carlitos!” She admonishes. “You haven’t warned him off about that place?!”

“Why is everybody blaming me?” Carlos feels his voice raising to a higher octave in exasperation. “He doesn’t even usually work in that district!-“

Carlos is once again interrupted, but this time it is by the sound of a painful sounding heave coming from the direction of the open door to their bathroom, followed by a pitiful whine. It shakes him out of his exasperation at being wrongfully appointed the blame for TK’s current misery. Logical or not, he does actually feel bad that he didn’t warn TK off about the taco shop that is by now known by probably all Austin locals, and not for serving delicious tacos - unfortunately.

He can almost hear his mothers pointed silence though the phone, and sighs. The Reyes kids all know better than to argue against Andrea, and she knows it - and exploits in too, although only in situations like these when there isn’t too much at stake. She too, has learned that especially when it comes to Carlos, her doing her best to listen even when she doesn’t fully understand, has repaired their relationship after too many years of just assuming that everything was alright.

He sighs. “I know, I really wish I had told him about it. He really doesn’t feel good mama.” Carlos says worriedly. It’s not that he’s feeling incapable of taking care of TK, but seeing him being in so much pain always makes Carlos feel a little bit desperate and talking to his mom about it makes him feel a little bit less out of his depth.

“I can imagine”, Andrea muses, also sounding like she hates that idea so much. Carlos sometimes still can’t get over how his parents took to TK so quickly, treating him almost as if he was their son too. “It’s a good thing he has you to take care of him Carlitos, I’m sure you’re the best there is at making feel at least a little bit better“ she reassures. Carlos forgets sometimes how well she knows him - or maybe he’s still getting used to believing it again. “I’ll tell your sisters that you two had to cancel,” Andrea continues, “and you let me know if there is anything I can do or if you need me to bring you anything.”

Carlos takes a deep breath, feeling his mom’s reassurances calm him a little. He can do this. “Thank you mama, I will. Although he probably would rather not have anybody seeing him like this, other than me and maybe Owen..”

Another pitiful sound from the bathroom reminds him why he wanted get this conversation over quickly. “I gotta go mama, but thank you. And say hi to Ana and Luisa from us,” he quickly says, before hanging up. He has some shopping to do. But first he’s gonna go rub his poor husbands back for a little while.

I have no idea whatsoever of who has and hasn’t been tagged, so I’ll tag @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @paperstorm in appreciation if their recent following me back because that made me really happy thanks guys (gender neutral)🙃☺️

Anybody else seeing this wanting to be tagged should consider themselves hereby tagged !!

#seven sentence sunday #my wip’s #tarlos whump #tarlos fanfiction #tarlos sickfic #cw: mentions of vomiting #tk strand whump #domestic Tarlos #also bad tacos

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hey!!

First of all, hi! Hope you're having a lovely day/night... Secondly, I um, went back to OLNF, again and I noticed that throughout all your works, the way people get turned on, (like sexually) feels like how Real Humans get into the mood... this is something I have felt in very few works and trust me I hold them dear when I find them. Because it's so obvious to write about physiological changes when it happens and of course that's noticeable, but the psychological aspect of it is so well mapped out in your fics, OLNF to point out one because I'm literally re-reading it as I type.

And as a person who had their first romantic/sexual experiences very late in life (as compared to societal standards), it was such a lovely depiction of someone taking control of their sexual life and it was so cool to read! It also made me feel slightly better about myself although I'm doing a lot of work to feel fulfilled within myself without needing external validation.

I just wanted to pop by and say you write horniness very well and I love you and your writing. Okbye!

This is, far and away, the most adorable ask I’ve ever received. 🥰😂 thank you, darling!

I’m really glad you feel that way about my smut. Since you’re re-reading OLNF, so you know how I feel about the process, as summarized by Marcel: good smut has to turn the author on, and if it’s not making me squirm in my seat, it’s not doing it’s job. A lot of that has to do with the slow build, which I think is really interesting when reflecting the process in the psyche. I’ll be honest, it’s painful to write, so it’s a huge compliment to know it delivers.

And secondly, please know you’re very much Not Alone in experiencing romantic/sexual things late (if at all). OLNF is particularly personal for me in that regard, because Marcel’s relationship with his virginity (and smut) is very much based on my own; by which I mean Marcel is me, and I certainly haven’t found my Louis yet.

I think, as we get older, it’s really important to reflect on our relationship with sex and romance, and take the time to get comfortable with the idea that what matters is how we feel and what we want to experience and how. There are no real rules, I find, and I wanted OLNF to feel empowering. Sex is important every single time at every single age with any and all partners, just like eating is an experience regardless of how many meals you’ve had in your life, you know?

I hope you find that confidence. Know that I’m on that journey, too. 🩷

PS. “Writes horniness well” is going at the very top of my CV. 😉

#iaw ask #iaw anonymous #OLNF

[n3llieelle]

omg hi 👉👈 if it’s not too much to ask for, can i request some ada content? head canons, one shots, fluff, smut, whatever!! she needs more love!!!

ofc ofc!!!

I honestly haven’t written anything in a while nor a lot of fics for Ada Wong, but lets see how I do because lately I have NOT been simping for any resident evil characters and IDK WTF IS WRONG WITH ME ANYMORE.

I’ll do you a solid and do a long ass smut drabble/thirst !

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★ — Anniversary with Ada Wong

Summary: this is a lengthy/long ass drabble about Ada taking you to a lingerie store to pick out a few “nice outfits” but she manages to give you her present a little early <3

C.W: smut, wlw, fingering, cunnilingus, kind of in public???, and many more warnings but i’m too lazy to put them!!

— NSFW, MDNI 18+

Ada Wong is the type to know exactly what she wants and then she goes for it. No matter what obstacles or fears try to keep her from achieving it. This was one of them.

~

She knew she didn't deserve the love of a good person. It was a blessing that they had given her the chance to live a better life when she’d been nothing but a simple mercenary in the world. But still she would do what it takes to make up for those lost years.

She wanted to be loved by someone who loved her unconditionally. And that someone was you, (insert name).

Her heart swelled at the thought. You were perfect for her, and she for you. . . and she just happened to be in the mood to plan to spend the day with only you, Which she did.

~

She had taken you to get something for your guy’s aniversary.

It was a special occasion. . . So, the two of you decided to go shopping and of course she had you stop at a lingerie store so you could ogle some pretty lacy things on offer.

She figured she'd give you a nice surprise as well since she had been thinking about spending time with you today.

But that had not worked out as planned. As usual you’d gotten a few things picked out she took you to the dressing room farthest from where anyone else was and surprisingly it was vacant!

You had a tint of pink in your cheeks as you glanced down nervously. “Uh..Ada? I don’t know if this is such a great idea…”

Oh sweetheart, she had no intention of making you uncomfortable, nor was she trying to take advantage of your vulnerability.

She understood you weren’t comfortable with that kind of thing and she wanted to respect that, although she still wanted to see the lingerie displayed on your gorgeous body <3

“What makes you think it's not a good idea?” You must have read her mind, because you looked even more nervous than before.

Well, there we go...

“Well...you know...that is to say...I'm kind of…” Your words drifted off as you bit your lip, looking around the spacious room with a slight blush on your face.

Ada was beginning to suspect you had some sort of problem about your body and how embarrassed you felt being seen in the skimpy things. That was totally ok!

You were beautiful!

She was very appreciative of your body and she wouldn’t want to wear anything you didn’t want to show her, but she wanted you to relax a little bit before she started helping you change into it. She even made sure the door was locked for privacy of what she had planned in store.

“It’s okay, my love. Why don’t you try a few of them on, while I watch. . . . maybe you might be surprised by how much you like it on your stunning image. How does that sound?” She asked, smiling reassuringly at you.

You looked a little relieved and nodded shyly before removing the dress you were wearing now and placing it over the bench next to Ada where she had been sitting before she stood up to help you undress.

Ada’s hands began to slowly wander your body as she slid her hands under your bra strap, giving it a gentle tug, ‘to loosen’ it so that you could remove it without any strain. You moaned softly and her eyes darkened with desire as she stared lovingly at you as you shimmied out of your bra.

“You’re absolutely perfection. I don’t know why you ever tried to hide it. You really are gorgeous.” She whispered in awe as she continued stroking you tenderly.

She gave you a kiss on the neck, feeling the soft skin as goosebumps rose. Her lips moved closer, kissing every exposed inch of skin before stopping on a particularly sensitive spot.

You let out a low moan of approval as her fingers traced their way back to where her mouth had been. “So beautiful....and so responsive.” She whispered against your skin as she kissed her way back to your mouth. She paused briefly to capture your lips with hers for a long slow kiss before parting away slightly as you both sighed in contentment.

“Let’s hurry up and undress each other so I can finish what I began a few minutes ago.” She said, smiling seductively up at you.

She was practically purring as you unclipped your bra and threw it on the floor out of the way and so on. You pulled your panties and garter belt off and tossed them carelessly to the side. Ada smiled and lifted herself onto her knees and leaned down to pull off your shoes before standing back up to slip off your socks.

Ada’s eyes sparkled mischievously as her tongue gently traced your inner thighs causing you to groan again. When her hand began to find their way past your folds, you gasped lightly, gripping the sides of her head as you felt another orgasm building up within you. It was almost too much to bear as her finger rubbed circles around your clit, teasingly teasing until she eventually pushed past your entrance and inside with enough force that you cried out from the pleasure.

She withdrew slightly and thrust deeper, driving harder against your inner walls, creating intense sensations deep within you that nearly brought you to release. She repeated the process again and again and again and again, making you writhe and cry her name.

After a few minutes you climaxed and finally came releasing a loud moan as you felt yourself coming undone within her grasp. She pulled herself out as quickly as possible onto her knees, leaving you gasping and trembling as she started to lap at your cunt with her tongue, making sure to clean and suck up all the juices that leaked out of you.

Once satisfied that you were adequately cleaned, she got up, grabbed your panties, and put them back on you, before grabbing all the utensils you picked out and carrying them to check-out counter. Yes, she did infact buy them all.

They were pretty sexy items.

Especially that pink lace thong with the red hearts lining the crotch area!

She would never tell anyone about buying these items though.

They were special gifts to you after all.

The least she could do was buy some new toys to try out in the bedroom that would end up with leaving you in a wheelchair later on tonight ;)

You would probably need the assistance of a wheelchair for weeks to come. Oh well...

A/N: I think I am going insane guys because I forgot to mention to ya’ll that I lost my obsession towards residential evil in general but like I still love it, just not as much. Anyways I put myself to work tonight to finish this silly request for Ada Wong, I do hope you like it !!

#ada wong x fem reader #ada wong x reader smut #ada wong smut #ada wong x reader #re4 ada wong #resident evil ada wong #re4 ada #ada wong resident evil #resident evil #resident evil 🚔 #resident evil x reader #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil smut #re smut #— requests to milky crxxmpie

[my-maehem]

Ok 😅sorry . It's my fault . So rarely used word the taboo , i wrote wrongly . So , the Hogwarts Legacy now lot artists favorite now , painters/writers and i love it . Im reading a lot on AO3 and i dont understand why they why missing from every fanfiction the the "consequence of free love" . Realist , i know but would be huge turn in one story . Only Tamayula drawed Sebastian and Ominis as fathers . One guy shocked on me bec "they're minors" as he said.....yeah 😄they are who's kills , they do threesome or just traditionally (with MC) . They already wrote alrernative universes , same way they do everything...and there is the unspoken baby shield . The MC is a strong wich , only she can use anchient magic . Sebastian and Ominis too camed from strong / talented family . Their child could be more special , stronger bloodline . With the pregnancy whould came the interesting questions : Which one the father , when , how she'll hide from everyone in the 6th year, with illusion charm ? So thatswhy i asked ,why taboo the pregnancy subject for every artist if the "very detailed lovemaking" not shame ? 🥲

I never knew I couldn’t put community label on a ask… so… Warning: NSFW (talking smutty stuff)

You are perfectly fine! Thank you for more context, I think I understand your question more clearly now and oh boy— this is gonna be a long response

Now I wanna point out that I haven’t really read any actual full blown fanfics, at least ones that include underage smut as you’ve mentioned. The closet I’ve ever gotten was one shots and that’s it. I’m not a fanfic writer myself, I’ve only written some random head canons.

BUT! I have drawn somewhat naughty things, although not as smutty as what I’ve seen other artists do 👀 I do have a couple of… some… I guess you could call “teasing” artworks and I will do more but anyways that’s besides the point—

What I get from your ask is: Why don’t artists ever talk about the consequences after these smutty scenes? (Please correct me if I’m wrong)

Which is a fair question! You know if we are talking canon, this is late 1800’s we are talking about. They didn’t have a plan B or a healthy way to abort a pregnancy. But also there is the factor that there’s only a CHANCE you get pregnant. Now unless they’ve written in there fic like 6 smut scenes then yeah— it is a bit unrealistic unless the character is someone who actually can’t conceive any children (which would be so sad and angsty ngl)

Back then having intercourse before marriage was considered a sin, they believed that sex was gate kept by married people only. So… why not have one of the boys ask MC to marry her? Well you see… back then it was very common for young women and in this case girls to marry… but the man had to be 21 or older legally if they wanted to marry someone younger. So the boys can’t marry MC while they’re still in school.

Now, back to the question. Why don’t artists talk about the pregnancy? The truth is, it would probably impact the story in a negative way. Meaning that if MC has a child at 16, then she basically has a ball and chain on her ankle because she was seen as a widow (and many other words) which was seen as a HUGE red flag to others way back then. And the boys can’t do anything about her reputation… they basically just ruined it by making her pregnant before marriage.

““No sex before marriage!””

The thing is that back then it was taboo to talk about pregnancy and even sex for that matter. Specially when they’re young and not married. Those conversations were reserved for when they want to procreate.

Personally for me, I don’t think MC should be having a sex life at the age of 15 or 16. I mean don’t get me wrong, it can STILL happen, just because it wasn’t excepted back then doesn’t mean it never happened. I just don’t think teen mom really fits well with MC (or at least mine). Plus babies, although are cute, can be a huge pain in the ass while you are studying at Hogwarts while beating up poachers and killing trolls with the imperius curse

Now I do over analyze things you can thank my AP teach in hs for that. And this is only an opinion with a hint of research I did. You do not have to agree with me. As an artist I’m not ready to make that kind of content and this is just my way of thinking. I don’t speak for other artists, so if you want to write underage smut, and even a teen mom MC you do you! Don’t let my words dictate what’s right or wrong because in reality of it all, there is no right or wrong.

There can be other factors like:

Artists not feeling comfortable writing about pregnancy

Just wanting to write smut because they can

There might be hidden context that the artist is keeping secret until the right moment

They are literally writing in a AU where pregnancy can be avoided (modern AU for example)

We are talking about an AU where there are witches and wizards, there could easily be something that could prevent a pregnancy if you just make a HC

But I think it just all comes down to artists comfort level. I mean I’m comfortable with adults having kids because it makes sense… but at 15??? Unless they were married which is was very common for young females in the Victorian era, I don’t think MC having a child while still in school would be realistic in that time period. Honestly women going to school is unrealistic too but this is a different AU… things aren’t going to be realistic.

Just some random research I did because I love analyzing things: (this is based off of England)

A woman can get married at a very young age… BUT— the man has to be 21 or older if he wants to marry someone under the age of 21. Because in England of 1823, it was legal for a man and women to marry at the age of 21. Although it seems after 23 men could easily marry a female from 12 and up without parents consent (I know, sickening)

In the Victorian era, although it was common to see young women with older men, the average age a women would have a child is around the age 21-23

Females who got pregnant in their teens were actually punished for their “sins” and were actually forced to put their child up for adoption in some cases

It wasn’t common for people to have premarital sex until 1920

#I really hope this makes sense #I wrote most of this at 2am so my thoughts were a bit all over the place #I will probably edit this as time continues because opinions change… but also I’m not 100% sure if my research is accurate #hogwarts legacy #hphl #hphl mc #hogwarts legacy mc #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #sebastian x mc #ominis x mc #sebastian x mc x ominis #I can tag this right? #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts fanfiction #asks #personal

[k-s-morgan]

Hello. Love your blog!

May I baldly recommend these two works:

Too old to be this young (Tomarry) is fascinating as it portrays smart adult Harry and minister Tom with a hilarious and healthy (?) dynamic.

In Sickness and in Health (Hannigram). Hannibal and Will being married with oblivious everyone is one of my favorite trops.

I don't actually know your preferences, so I got curious. Do you have any favorite/hated trops? Or maybe reading suggestions?

Hello! Thank you so much <3 It’s such an interesting coincidence - the day you sent this ask, I thought there is something familiar about the title Too old to be this young. So I checked and yes, this is the story I downloaded to my e-reader that exact morning :D I haven’t read it yet but I’m starting it soon. I’ve been checking out some new Tomarry stories lately and this one grabbed my attention. 

Also, I did read In Sickness and in Health! I love this trope as well, it’s amazing, I got so much enjoyment out of reading this story. I’m still subscribed to it but I don’t think there have been updates in a while - and to be honest, I remember it badly at this point. Maybe I’ll re-read it because I remember enjoying it a lot. 

I tend to dislike kid fics! Some are very well-written but I rarely enjoy them. I’m not fond of sci-fi, although there are exceptions. Anything else is pretty much go as long as there is some angst and a satisfying romance, preferably an obsessive one. 

As for reading suggestions; I have a list with some original stories I loved here; my old-ish list for fandoms is here. 

The latest Tomarry stories I’ve read and loved are

The Art of Falling: demon Tom and angel Harry. It’s so interesting, smart, and dark in places that I fell head over heels.  

That Deathless Death universe is brilliant, too, and while it’s so long already, I lament that it’s not finished yet. This AU story has a very complex and detailed world-building, focuses on many characters at once, which is usually not my favorite thing but I enjoyed it here, and it has a fascinating dynamic between Harry and Voldemort. It also feels magical from start to finish, there is so much soul in it.

Holly & Yew is about Harry and Tom growing up together. I love this trope and this story ticks so many boxes! Dependency, possessiveness, love, plenty of interesting situations and events. I also really enjoy how the author treats Harry’s attitude to magic. His love for it is palpable and it gives everything such a special atmosphere. 

#tomarry #hannigram #fic recs

[shecagobaby]

Love of My Life: Home

Hi! So this is the first chapter of a Joseph fic I’ve been writing in my spare time.  I was originally just writing it for myself in the notes on my phone, but I have been encouraged to share. Honestly what started as an idea has turned into a full blown novel, so expect many chapters as I clean them up and proof read. 

Warnings: None really, just mentions of sex. Now, I know that those that wanted me to share wanted smut- but do not fret my loves, the next chapter will be absolute FILTH. It is just not quite ready, so this is just the appetizer. 

Pairing: Joseph Quinn x Y/N

Alright y’all, please be kind but I would also love feedback! (even if it’s just about the formatting, I haven’t posted in almost ten years, so I hope I’m doing this right. okay love you all enjoy)

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SEPT 2021

   Nothing was more beautiful than London in the fall.  The city was the same as it always was: heavy evening traffic, busy sidewalks, loud chattering as people headed home for the night. Even the familiar smell of beer and sweat that seeped out of the neighborhood pub was exactly the same. Yet something about crisp air and the changing trees made the most ordinary things unbelievably beautiful.

    I smiled to myself as a cool gust of wind sent a shiver up my spine. Even though I was leaving a long meeting with my publisher, where I received some semi-harsh critiques on my most recent chapter of my novel, I felt like I was living in a dream world. 

    This autumn felt especially dreamy since Joseph was going to be home in a matter of days.  He was scheduled to wrap filming ‘Stranger Things’ this week, so if things go smoothly he could potentially be back in my arms by the weekend.  Being away from him had been hell. We lived together, so we saw each other every day, and during quarantine we spent every second together. Although we still chatted every day while he was on set, whether it was a quick text or a late night phone call, it wasn’t the same. I hadn’t felt him, held him, kissed him in what felt like forever.  Our flat had lost his scent months ago. Each night I hugged his pillow, trying to get any indication that he was ever there.  

   The steamy pictures and unbelievably dirty words that would quietly leave his mouth on nights we especially missed each other were nothing compared to the real thing. My own fingers were nothing compared to his. I bit my lip as I thought about the things we would do to each other when he got back.

   I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt my phone buzzing in my purse.  I sighed as I rooted around in my bag searching for my phone. My hands moved quickly, hoping it was Joseph calling on his break, absolutely giddy at the thought of filling him in on the dirty thoughts that had crept into my mind.

   I sighed when I noticed it was my best friend Tabitha, feeling a twinge of guilt at my disappointment when I saw her name instead of his. I groaned as I brought the phone to my ear, “hello?”

   “Y/N, babe, what are you doing tonight?” I heard her Liverpool accent say on the other end.

    I shrugged, “dunno, writing some, got some cleaning. Want the place to look nice when joseph gets back.”

    “When’d ya become such a domestic bird?”She laughed, “I say you fuck all that boring shit and come get a drink with me and the girls.”

  I rolled my eyes. Tabitha was always trying to get me to come out with them, but usually I would rather stay home. It used to be fun when I first moved to London . Tabitha was the first friend I made after moving here from Manhattan. We immediately took a liking to each other whilst waiting in line for the bathroom at some grimy club.  Once Joseph and I started dating, and especially when he left, going out with her became more of a chore, “ya know, the pub isn’t very fun when you all leave me to go hook up with random guys.”

   Over the last few months I hit the pub and clubs with them a handful of times, and it always turned into me bitching to Joe via phone call or text on the walk home because I was playing wing woman all night or they left me to chat up a guy at the bar.

   “Oi, they aren’t random if you met them on tinder,” she joked.

   “Oh yeah, what happened with the last guy?”

  “Gotta be more specific, love. Might have been a few shags ago.”

   I laughed at her promiscuous tendencies, while simultaneously feeling like an old maid. Tabitha was drop dead gorgeous: Great figure, huge tits, bright blue eyes, and long blonde hair.  The only down side to Tabitha was she had unbelievable commitment issues.  She would dissect every man she met until she found the tiniest reason to run for the hills.

   “The one that was buying us tequila shots last time, he had that long hair you said you wanted to French braid,” I  laughed remembering that night.

  “Ugh, gorgeous hair, gorgeous cock, but he had a bird for a pet, ya know one of the ones that talk.  He’d have full blown conversations with the damn thing.  Dunno, made me feel weird,” she groaned.

  I cackled, “C’mon, Tab, it’s not that weird. Lots of people have birds for pets.”

    “Babe, would you want to fuck a lad that walks around the house looking like jack god damn sparrow with a bloody bird on his shoulder?”

  I shook my head at the image in my mind, turning to walk up the steps that led to my building, “guess not.” I fumbled with my keys, holding the phone between my ear and my shoulder. I found the building key and put it in the lock, opening the door, “wouldn’t it shit on his shoulder?”

  “Dunno, but I wasn’t going to stick around to find out,” she said. I started walking up the steps, climbing to my warm apartment. “So are you gonna come or not, feels like it’s been ages since I’ve seen ya.”

  I sighed, “I don’t know yet, Tab. Been a long day, kind of want to be low key.”

  I got the key to the flat Joe and I shared as I reached our floor, walking to the door and unlocking it, “No you just want to sit around waiting for Joe to give you a call.”

   I rolled my eyes and smiled as i pushed the door open, she was not wrong about that. “Tab, you can’t blame me for missing my boyfriend, you’ve never had to do long distance.”

  “That’s because I don’t do relationships, can’t miss someone if it’s not serious.”

  As I entered the flat, I was enveloped by a warm sensation. It was much warmer than usual. I sighed, thinking about Tabitha’s offer. “Can I let you know?” I said shrugging off my purse and bending down to pet our dog, Mikey. I actually got Mikey when I was seventeen, long before I met Joseph.

   I couldn’t help but smile as I reminisced about the first time Joseph met Mikey:

   ‘Michelangelo? Like the painter?’ 

    ‘No, the ninja turtle.’ I said as I introduced my boyfriend to the dog I referred to as my son.

   “Hi, babe, had a good day?” I asked Mikey as I bent down to give him a few pets before he ran off. I furrowed my brows, usually Mikey would go crazy when I go home, but he did not want anything to do with me at the moment. 

      “Fine,” Tabbie said, I could feel her rolling her eyes through the phone, “Give my love to Michael. I’ll give you a call later, alright?”

  “Talk to ya then,” I said taking the phone away from my ear and hanging up. I slid out of my jacket and hung it on the coat rack by the door.

  “Hey, love.”

  I gasped at the voice, whipping around to see my gorgeous boyfriend standing in the living room.

  I  froze, completely shocked. I blinked hard. Was this real? I stared at him, he was standing there with the fireplace going behind him. No wonder it was so warm, and it really explained why Mikey wasn’t interested in me. Often times I teased Joseph that he was in a relationship with my dog.

  “Surprised?” He said smiling at me.

  I felt like my heart was going to pop, tears pooled in my eyes. He was real, “oh my god, Joe.” I half screamed half sobbed as I spoke. I quickly moved to him. As I got closer he held his arms out for me.

  I collided with him, he wrapped me up in a loving hug, lifting me up as Mikey danced at our feet. I instinctually wrapped my legs around his waist, squeezing him tight against me while I buried my nose between his neck and shoulder. His familiar scent clouded my senses. No matter what cologne he wore, he always smelt the same: mahogany, cigarettes, and spearmint never smelt so delicious. I tangled my fingers into his soft curls, desperately trying to bring him closer.

  “I missed you so much,” he groaned into my neck, leaving a soft kiss there.

  I pulled away to look at him, the tears in my eyes spilling over. I brought one of my hands to his cheek, running my thumb over his beautiful features. He leaned into my touch and hummed, his bright brown eyes staring into mine.

  I couldn’t believe he was here. I leaned down to catch his lips in mine making butterflies erupt in my stomach. His soft lips felt like heaven against mine, i couldn’t believe I had almost forgotten what they tasted  like. I put both my hands on his cheeks and kissed him harder as tears continued to fall down my face.

  He broke the kiss to scan my face, “happy tears, yeah?” He whispered.

  I laughed, “yeah.” He set me down on the ground, keeping one hand around me and the other came to my face to wipe away my tears.  I placed my head to his chest, feeling his heart beat against my cheek.  “I missed you so fucking much,” I whispered.

  “I know, love. But I’m here, I’m back.” He sighed, resting his chin on the top of my head. Mikey let out a low bark as Joseph bent down to scoop him up in his arms, “Did you miss me, huh? Ya miss your dad?” my heart swelled, as I gave Mikey a few pets. Our little family was back together.

   We stood there like that for who knows how long. A few seconds, minutes, hours? Who could tell?

    He put Mikey back on the floor before he brought his hand to my chin, cupping it making me look at him. He leaned down to place a soft kiss to my lips. I hummed against his mouth and i felt him smile against mine. “I love you,” i breathed.

   “I love ya, too. So fucking much.” He said resting his forehead against mine.

   “How are you here?” I asked, running my hands down the soft fabric of his burnt orange shirt, biting my lip as I felt his warm skin underneath.

  His hands roamed my back, the pressure of his fingers felt amazing. His hands moved down and slipped into the back pockets of my jeans. His breath fanned over my face as he said, “I finished up two days ago, thought I would surprise my girl.”

  He placed a soft kiss to my forehead, “well it worked,” i sighed. “How’d you know i wouldn’t be home?”

  He chuckled, a silly grin lighting up his face. “Agnes, she called me when you were leaving.”

  I giggled and rolled my eyes. Agnes lived in our building. She was 76, had 4 corgi’s, and was incredibly nosy. She somehow managed to know everyone’s business before anyone else.  I swear the short woman just stood with her eyes glued to her peep hole, watching as everyone lived their lives. She was incredibly kind, but I always dreaded when she would be in the hallway at the same time as us.  She would stop us and fill us in on all the building gossip. I would always smile and now as she spoke; but I got the feeling that Joseph kind of liked gossiping with her, his eyes always lighting up at her stories.

   “Gotta love her,” I whispered, my fingers tracing the thin chain he was always wearing. As I took a deep breath i smelt something familiar.  I furrowed my brows, “are you cooking?”

    His eyes went wide, “oh shit, almost forgot.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the kitchen. The scent got stronger the closer we got. I recognized it immediately. He was cooking my favorite, an amazing mushroom stuffed chicken in a white wine sauce. I remembered him watching me take a bite the first time he made it for me. He looked so handsome and so relieved when I told him I loved it.

    “Makin’ your favorite,” he said as we reached the kitchen.

     I was confused, “Joseph, shouldn’t I be doing this kind of stuff for you? what is all this?” I looked around and noticed the table was set, candles were lit, and there were flowers in a vase on the counter.

    He wrapped his arms around me from behind, I leaned my head back so it was resting on his chest. “Just want ya to know how much I love you.” He kissed the top of my head and continued, “you’ve been so supportive and patient with me through all this, I don’t think I could have done it with out you.” His words made my heart swell. I reached my hand back to caress his cheek. “So, this is my thank you,” he whispered.

  “I don’t feel like I did anything. it was all you, you did it all on your own.” I turned around in his arms, he was shaking his head. His eyes were filled with so much love. I felt like i could start crying again as I spoke, “I don’t deserve you, Joseph. Thank you for all of this.”

    He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, “you deserve the world, Y/N,”

he whispered against my lips. I smiled as I leaned into his kiss. He was the kindest person I had ever met. I had never felt so safe and secure in a relationship. He loved me so much and I knew it, and he knew I was in love with him. He knew me so well. He knew my mind, heart, and body like he knew his own. I also could not help but feel like he was stuck with me given the fact that Mikey was enamored with him.

   He pulled away from the kiss making me whine.  I tried to pull his face back down to mine, suddenly aching for his kiss.  He smirked and grabbed my hands, chuckling at how desperate I was to feel his lips on mine, “there is a catch though,” he hummed.

   I raised an eyebrow, “and what might that be?” I asked.

    “Well first, you’re going to make me your famous dirty martini that you know I’ve missed so much,” he whispered.

    I blushed and looked down.  When Joseph and I met in early 2018 I was bartending for some extra money. I will never forget the first time he came in and sat at the bar. He had a long day and just found out he hadn’t gotten a role he really wanted. He ordered a martini from me and went on and on about how it was the best one he ever had. I remember he stayed until the pub closed, talking and laughing with me. I was sad when he left, he hadn’t asked for my number or anything. I remember my heart sinking, knowing I would probably never see him again after an amazing night. Then the next night he came back, that’s when I started to feel myself falling in love with him.

    “I can do that,” i whispered, looking down at my hands in his.

      “Good,” he exhaled. He laced his fingers in mine, “then we’re going to eat.”  He brought my hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back of it. Then he grazed his lips over my knuckles, placing soft random kisses across them. “Then,” his voice became deeper as he spoke , “I’m going to make you cum as many times as I possibly can.”

     A soft moan left my lips, I immediately felt myself starting to get wet. I bit my lip as I thought about how good he could make me feel. It had been so long since he’s touched me, I missed his calloused fingers, his tongue, and especially his cock. I swallowed hard as i thought about the first time we had sex all those years ago, he made me climax three times before he even slipped into my folds. No one had ever made me cum before, only myself. I was always shocked at the way Joe could make me fall apart with the ease.

     “Sound good, love?” he said, his voice back to normal, snapping me back to reality. I never knew how he could say something that made me so weak in the knees and then go back to normal like nothing happened.

      I nodded and cleared my throat, “sounds great,” my voice cracking at the end.

     He gave me a quick kiss before he dropped my hands, “let me finish this up, all right?” He said gesturing toward the stove.

     He walked away and tended to the food. I took a deep breath as I moved towards the refrigerator, grabbing the ingredients for the martini. I heard him humming as he cooked. I looked back at him, it was nice seeing him home again. It felt like he had never left, everything was suddenly back to how it’s supposed to be.

     I grabbed the cocktail shaker from on top of the refrigerator, filling it almost to the brim with ice. I opened the cabinet next to the fridge and grabbed two martini glasses and some tooth picks. I opened the bottle of vodka and poured it into the now frosty shaker.  I added a very small splash of vermouth to the vodka. That was part of my secret, most people don’t add any vermouth to a dirty martini. Then i added a generous amount of brine from a jar of olives before letting a few fall into the shaker. I remember him saying ‘make it as filthy as possible,’ when he ordered. Not knowing how to make a dirty martini more dirty, i began to shake his with a couple of olives.

      I grabbed a glass and popped it on the top of the shaker, snapping it into place with the side of my fist. I brought it up and began to shake it quickly. Once I was happy with the amount it was shaken, i hit the side of it with the heel of my palm to release the cup from the shaker.

     “Ya still got it, babe,” I heard Joseph say behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see him looking back at me with a small smile on his lips. I rolled my eyes and smiled back at him. Joe was always impressed with my bartending abilities. I bartended to pay my way through college and had gotten really good at it. I had done it for so long that it felt like second nature to me, I didn’t have to think about my movements while I made a drink.

    I grabbed the strainer and popped it on top of the metal shaker and poured the liquid in the glass. I was impressed that I had the exact amount to fill both glasses to the brim. I grabbed to tooth picks and poked them through the olives, two for Joe and one for me.

    I carefully grabbed the glasses and walked to Joseph. His face lit up as he saw me handing him his glass. He took it and lifted it towards me, “cheers, love.”

     “Cheers, handsome,” i whispered as we clinked glasses. I brought the glass to my lips and sipped the drink. The drink was strong, cold, and delicious.

   Joe hummed as he took a gulp, “the fucking best,” he said as he sat his glass down.

    I smiled and stepped behind him, wrapping my hands around his waist. I rested my cheek against his back right below his shoulder blades. My hands ran over his stomach through the fabric of his shirt. I slipped my hands under the hem of his shirt, humming when I felt his bare stomach against my fingers. I traced my fingertips up his happy trail, earning a shiver from him.

     We sat there in a nice, calming silence as he cooked and i continued to rub my hands on his soft skin. The only sound was him cooking and the soft humming I could feel vibrating through his chest.

     “Babe,” he said, making me jump.

     “Yes, my love?” I asked, placing a kiss to his back.

    “Mind helping me?” He said.

    I nodded as i dropped my hands from his belly.  I came next to him and he gestured to the parsley on the cutting board next to him. I grabbed a big drink of my martini and picked up the knife. I rolled the parsley and began chopping.

   Joseph placed his empty glass down, “another?” I asked.

     “Yes please,” he smiled at me.

     I finished chopping, threw back my drink, and made another. I felt a slight buzz, realizing how long it had been since I drank anything stronger than a glass of wine.

    I sat our glasses in our spots at the table. “Ready?” Joe asked.

    I nodded, i walked over to him to help carry the food to the table. He grabbed my shoulders stopping me. “What?” I asked.

    He turned me around and walked me back to the table, “i got it, just sit down,” he said. He grabbed the back of my chair and pulled it out for me.

    “Such a gentleman,” i said as I sat.

    He brought the food over as I placed my napkin in my lap. He portioned some roasted potatoes, vegetables, and chicken onto my plate before adding it to his. He looked down and frowned as he sat, grabbing my ankle. He placed my foot on his lap and unzipped the boots I forgot to take off. He slipped them off and gave a squeeze to my foot before doing the same to the other. “Better?” He asked.

     I nodded and said, “thank you,” leaning in and giving him a kiss.

    We sat and ate, talking about everything. He told me all about being on set, and i happily listened. I missed hearing him tell me stories, even when he laughed his way through it; his laughter making it nearly impossible to keep up. I could listen to him forever. The way his eyes light up and his face is so expressive.

    When we finished I thanked him for cooking and grabbed our plates taking them to the sink. I began rinsing them when I felt him behind me, his hands on either side of the counter trapping me against him.

     “What do you think you’re doing?” He asked.

      “Babe, you cooked, the least I can do is take care of the dishes,” i said.

        He moved my hair from my shoulder, exposing my neck. I shivered when i could feel his breath on my neck. He chuckled and started to place soft open mouth kisses along my skin, pausing to suck a soft mark on the sensitive spot right below my ear.

     I moaned and leaned my head, exposing more for him. He softly bit down, making me hiss and drop the plate i was rinsing into the sink. “Shit.” I gasped when his hand travelled down my sides.

     “Go to the room, want ya naked,” he whispered against my skin, “I’ll be there in a minute.

________________________________________________________________

Thank you so much for reading! I will hopefully have part two (be prepared for the smuttiest smut you’ve ever read) posted by this time tomorrow. I love you all. 

#joseph quinn #joseph quinn smut #joe #joseph #joe quinn #joseph x reader #joseph quinn x reader #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #Eddie #quinn #dickensian #makeup #les mierables

[kiki-shortsnout]

Thanks for the tag @magicaltear Sorry it took me so long to respond! 😊😊

How many works do you have on AO3?

Too many,🤣 seventy-nine at the moment, but it’ll be eighty soon, once I finish this new mammoth story!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,127,841, holy hell!🤯

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, Marvel, although I am starting to slide into the Star Trek fandom, late as always. I’m working on a long retelling of the Wrath of Khan fic from a Spirk perspective.  I did use to write for Final Fantasy XV a while back, and I’d like to revisit that someday. I’m also eyeing up the My Hero Academia fandom and Yuri On Ice.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

OO, interesting question, for some reason I just cracked my knuckles in excitement.🤣

Stringless – 2,044

Betwixt – 2,023

Obstacles and Opportunities -1,523

Counterfeit Boyfriend – 1,368

Ternion- 1,299

You know what, I’m really surprised by number four if I’m honest. I was always under the impression that one hadn’t done very well, as usually the fics people talk to me about are Stringless, Betwixt and Love, Dreams and Coffee Machines. It’s a pleasant surprise, but I’m a little shocked!

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, I try to respond to them all, sometimes things get in the way, and I forget, but I’ll always respond, it might just take a while! But I do appreciate all of them and the kudos, and occasional screams in my Tumblr inbox. It really does act as a motivation for more stories!💞

6.What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, this one is easy. It’s Without You, it’s the only really sad story I’ve written. I mean, I love putting angst in my writing, but this is the one where Tony was dealing with his grief of losing Stephen, and he doesn’t get him back.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think all my fics have happy endings if I’m honest.💞

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yes, unfortunately, they tend to range from: Why are you writing about this couple? Why aren’t you writing about the couple you just did? I don’t like reading about this pairing. I’ve recently had a few saying my writing is awful, or my take on a story is awful.

I think that’s the risk you take with posting things online, which is saddening as I don’t think people always appreciate how much work, effort, time goes into any creation, be that art, fics, or mood boards. I’ll be honest, it can drag you down at times, and it has made me want to quit a few times, but the fandoms I’m in are incredibly supportive and welcoming, so I try not to let the few bad comments overwhelm the positive ones I have.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I think most of my fics have smut in, unless they’re the small prompt pieces I worked on, and I write all kinds, to enhance the plot, without a plot, multiple partners, solo self love.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t no, but I I do have a request sitting in my inbox for a IronStrange/ Star Trek crossover which I really want to work on!

11.Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Back before my AO3 days yes, and when I confronted the writer about it they were very apologetic and took it down. I’ve had people take my stories and post them on Goodreads and I’ve had to fight with them several times to take down

12. Does not exist apparently

I’m not even 100% I exist if I’m honest.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t, I’ve worked with artists on stories before and that’s been incredibly fun.

14.What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I’ve had loads, but the one I’ve written for the most is IronStrange, although I enjoy writing for FrostIronStrange more.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I actually have a half-written JohnLock one sitting on my laptop, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get back to it. I love the idea and I love writing it, but I don’t know if I can get their voices quite right and I keep losing faith in it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’ve always been told it's my characterisations and emotive writing, which are huge compliments.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I would say it’s writing action/fighting scenes, I always leave a place card saying ‘Write fight scene here’ and go back to it at the end. I just…find writing them tedious and I don’t think I always get the movement right, or the stakes, if that makes sense?

I struggle with pacing too sometimes….like I want to get to the good bits of the story and skim over the other bits.

18.Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

The only other language I know is French from what they taught at school, and unless you want me to write a story where I need to order stationery and tell you where the library is, it’d better if I just stuck with English.😂😂

If I did need dialogue in another language, I’d reach out to an author who I knew could speak the language.

19.First fandom you wrote for?

Beyblade, way back in the olden days…..or actually, maybe it was Lord of The Rings?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I’ll always have a soft spot for Stringless because it was the first IronStrange I’d ever written and I was so nervous about writing for Marvel and posting it, and Ternion because again, I’d never written a poly couple and I was really anxious about writing Loki.

But the fic I enjoyed writing the most was Betwixt. I was devastated when I finished writing that because I’d poured my soul into it. I wrote it on pieces of scrap paper during meetings, I stayed up late working on it, and I got up early to write it. I always enjoy the stories I work on, but that one holds a special place in my heart.

I’m desperate to write a sequel for it.

Tagging @the-elle-kat @atypical-snowman @jeromesankara @xoniarainforest and anyone else who wants to play!

#thanks for the ask! #fanfiction #tag game #kiki's ramblings

[child-of-hurin]

tagged by @dontbotherwiththepronunciation and @chthonic-cassandra

tagging:

I saw this meme going around recently and I can't remember who's already done it and who hasn't, so I'm blanket tagging anyone who reads this and feels like it :) tag me so I can read your response

3 ships 

Túrin/Nienor (TOLKIEN) I haven’t talked much about them lately but they’re still the most compelling to me… Part of what keeps me distant from fandom is that I feel like many fans won’t touch this ship with a ten foot pole. So even non-shippy fics or meta ends up OOC, fails to acknowledge how these two are both founding & sinking stones in each other’s lives…Etc…But it doesn’t matter much, I’ve been shipping this by myself for a long time and I’ll probably do it forever 😌

Irene/Eugenides (QUEEN’S THIEF) My current obsession, this ship lets me explore so many things I like :’D

Sandor/Sansa  (ASOIAF) Another ship that lay dormant but that’s re-awakening lately because I keep seeing posts that annoy me lmao. The problem here though is that I love their interactions in canon, and although I’ll be very happy if they meet again (and wish them to do so), I’m perfectly satisfied with what we got!  I genuinely find their arc very touching if heartbreaking, and I love what GRRM is saying — esp. regarding gender and socially-enabled abuse — through them. I think I’m mostly fascinated by the conflict in how these two come into contact with very idealized notions of how they should interact: Protector-protected for Sansa, Preadator-victim for Sandor, and yet no matter how much they try to convince each other AND THEMSELVES to fit into these models, reality imposes itself every time, and then they end up relating to each other as one person to another… It touches me deeply, this theme of the rawness and implacability of perceiving someone else (whether you want to or not!) instead of the idealized version of them. And how it's not necessarily easy to bear, or to live with!! I also love thinking about them in comparison to Theon and Jeyne, who have somewhat similar themes (especially like, the crushing weight of being aware of someone else's humanity/peerness), but somehow managed to free themselves whereas Sandor failed Arya and himself and ‘died’ & Sansa is now at Littlefinger’s mercy. We'll see where that will go, though (or not...it's been 84 years)

first ship

I always have a different answer for this one haha. Now I’m thinking it might have been Rodka/Sonya from Dostoievsky’s Crime and Punishment…

last song: 

last movie

John Water’s Hairspray (1988), delightful

currently reading

I’m reading a bunch of books at the same time right now… Let’s say The Count of Monte Cristo which I hadn’t read before & I’m right in the middle of. I’m reading it in English which feels a little silly, but whatever. It has WAY more orientalism than I ever thought. The psychology of it is also more complicated than I was originally led to believe. I'm fonder of both Franz and Albert than I think I'm supposed to be. I’m halfway through and I can’t believe Dantès owns two slaves...I do love that he’s not beating the vampire allegations.

currently eating

Trying to make space for a raisin roll 😞

currently craving

Mint tea...

#meme #looking at my ships and i think i'm just very interested in dynamics that fit under the 'the devil' tarot card one way or another #is good... #Youtube

[sflow-er]

Young Royals fanfic recs

The abundance of rec lists lately inspired me to make one too. I’ve been reading since July 2021, so in addition to all the amazing works I’ve already seen listed, I wanted to highlight some ‘less topical’ categories of fic for the new arrivals. Here are just a few examples from the mists of my ao3 history.

Other fics by beloved authors:

1. i ask nothing of you by thatgayprince - Multichap, ~44k

The Prince Simon author’s fantastic post-S1 fix-it fic has already been recommended, and I’m sure many people stumble onto it after the PSCU - but I would also like to suggest it as an introduction to their beautiful writing.

 2. reins to my heart by Elin98 - One-shot, ~10k

Another wonderful author whose other works I’ve already seen recommended; I wanted to specifically advertise her many Wilmon meet-cute AUs that will make you smile and squeal like a maniac (e.g. this fairly recent one, where Simon pretends to be a riding instructor, but you can just go for the one that takes your fancy!).

Fics by authors who have been writing less for this fandom lately:

3. Dear Titanic, how did you feel? by ASkyOfKai - Multichap, ~23k

Here’s an AU of Wilmon on the Titanic that I absolutely adore, by a truly talented author and lovely human being who has gifted us with a whole host of different AUs and canon expansions.

4. So we’re slaves to any semblance of touch by TheBoyWhoWalksInTheLight - One-shot, 2k

This author’s lyrical style really speaks to me - there are a lot of beautiful fics to choose from, but this one is a sweet canon expansion showing Simon’s POV of Wilmon’s first kiss.

Fics in languages other than English:

There’s some first-class YR fic available in Swedish! I’ve also seen some in other languages, e.g. Spanish, but I can only recommend what I know.

 5. Din tid kommer by eypril - One-shot, ~5k, part of series

I recommend all of this author’s stuff to high heaven for anyone who can read Swedish, and it was very hard to pick just one...but the lot fell on this excellent AU of Wilmon reconnecting years later. (EDIT: This fic has now been translated to English too and it’s wonderful!)

6. Nåt slags förstånd by SilvaGrey - One-shot, 3k, part of series

Here’s an author who not only writes compellingly but researches everything meticulously, which is also clear from this lovely post-S1 fix-it fic from Ludvig’s (and partly Simon’s) POV. (They’ve also translated all their work into English, although I haven’t read the translations.)

I hope none of the authors mind me listing their tumblrs here to give them credit (if any of you want to be untagged, just let me know): @prince-simon, @ishotforthestars, @purplehoodiesimon, @aro-of-artemis​, @eypril-eypril​, @silvagrey 

#young royals #young royals fanfic #young royals fic #wilmon #fic rec

[anakinsthot]

Fic Tag Game!

I was tagged by @veloursdor, @mischievouschan4, and @lilredghost. Y'all probably forgot but I DID NOT. I've just been sad and mopey because I'm working when it's dark out with the time change and it's pitch black by the time I'm home, so I haven't gotten anything done!

How many works do you have on a03?

Ten

2. What’s your ao3 word count?

118,260!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Star Wars! And I don’t foresee that changing. When I first got into fanfic I wrote for Bleach, Final Fantasy VII (oh my god there were song fics, what the fuck), Harry Potter, Marvel Cinematic Universe (I had forgotten about that completely. Hopefully I forget again), and The Hobbit.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Hey this feels like a war crime, actually. They’re all obikin except the first.

Lady of the Rocks, with 1,125 kudos… my Hobbit fic that hasn’t been touched in like 6 years.

Bitter Honey (BEE FIC, BEE FIC, BEE FIC!! Sits at 447 right now)

Anakin Skywalker, Witch (420, nice)

Living with the Present (402)

Tapio (128)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Although frequently very late. I got bad about it this summer because this summer sucked, emotionally. But I love it when authors respond to my comments so, as hard as it is for me to believe, I imagine that people enjoy when I respond to their comments and try my best to do it.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think any of them have an angsty ending. One of the Harry Potter fics was going to though. LOL.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Anakin Skywalker, Witch.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes… mostly pretty vanilla right now I think. I need to expand my writing comfort bubble.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t written any. Used to read a ton though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. It’s stressful enough trying to match my own writing voice haha.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Obikin, definitely!

15. What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My hobbit fic. I still get comment occasionally asking if I’ll finish it. My big thing with that fic was world-building and I’ve lost a lot of what I had. I WANT to work on it for the people that still enjoy it though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d say probably dialogue, because I feel like I edit that the least, and world-building.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

….actually writing the words down RIP. Also comma usage.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I avoid it, generally. I read too many fantasy books and fics back in the day where you had to flip to the glossary at the end of the book/bottom of the page for translations and it gets annoying, especially if there’s a multiple characters speaking.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Omg I had to look up my old ff.net account to check this. It was Bleach.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I want to immediately say Anakin Skywalker, Witch. It’s my first obikin fic, my first fanfic after a long hiatus. I’ve put so much work and research into it. But Tapio has a vibe that I really enjoy, and has managed to inspire that vibe in readers so… dark horse winner is Tapio.

Bonus: What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Probably that damn Hobbit fic. I didn’t have an editor back then so I shudder to think about what the comma situation is there.

I feel like I've seen most people do this game already! So I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you see this and have not been tagged yet/want to do it... this is me, tagging you.

#f u you microsoft word not keeping my formatting #see if i copy/paste a numbered list ever again #fic #tag game #mal writes #ahahahahah never want to look at my ff.net account again #obikin

[forabeatofadrum]

an ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

Thanks for tagging me @wellbelesbian! Better late than never, eh?

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

Just Some Guy and Ljubili se. Those are my "active" WIPs now, because if I had to list all of them... oh boy. Although I'm working on Just Some Guy more.

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Outsider POV + Chosen One shit = disinterest

Queer journey + long distance = chaos (I think???)

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

For these two, none. I know Matt is MCD, but it stands for Matt Christopher Davis.

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

I don't really have alternative titles, but they do have nicknames. I call Just Some Guy "MCD" because it's just funny to me and Ljubili se "Klaine in Ljubljana 2" which is ridiculous cause they're no longer in Ljubljana.

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

Just Some Guy. I only need to finish one more chapter and I've been updating it weekly.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

Ljubili se is in "drabbles and oneshots" and Just Some Guy in "Non-glee drabbles and oneshots" because I am chaotic and put all my writing in those two docs, unless something becomes too big, then it gets its own doc.

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

I’ve heard stories of physical fights between them, but I kind of don’t care. Just let me play chess in peace. If they want to knock each other’s brains out, be my guest. One time I walked to class and Simon almost shoved Baz against the wall in anger, and I just passed them. I think more students are kind of used to their escalations. So, no, I don’t care. Arnold says it’s rude of me to think that way, but it’s not out of malice. It’s out of disinterest. “Really, I don’t get politics,” I sigh.

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

I scrapped two scenes in Just Some Guy. The whole premise of the fic is that Matt honestly doesn't care that much about what the fuck is going in with Simon Snow and entourage. Originally, the kidnapping of the Mage in the 6th year had an entire scene where he, Leslie and John discuss it. And in the 8th year, there was an entire scene where Matt and his dad learn about the Mage's death, because once again, John and Leslie show up to discuss it. But in the end, I realised that Matt just... doesn't care. And those two scenes therefore felt very forced and it dragged the chapters down. The snippets aren't bad. They're just woefully unnecessary. I was like "I need Matt to acknowledge this" and I realised I didn't. I put both of them under the cut at the end of this post.

Hey, it ain't spoilers, cause everyone who's read Carry On knows what happens to good ole Davy.

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

Unfortunately for me, my mind's already started planning for this year's Klaine Advent/December Fanworks Challenge. Why is this unfortunate? Well, I still have to finish the 2023 one, Ljubili se.

But this idea is pretty neat. It's inspired by J.M. Frey's Accidental Turn series. That's all I'm sayin.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

Actively, 2. Maybe 3, since bamboo ceiling is rotating in my brain. Don't ask me about the others in my WIP Hospital.

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

I AM FUCKING STUCK ON LJUBILI SE BECAUSE JUST LIKE LJUBIM TE I JUST FIND KURT'S POV HARDER/LESS INTERESTING TO WRITE.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

Kudos back!

I think this post has been passed around in the Snowbaz fandom, so I am passing it to the Gleeks: @thnxforknowingme @caramelcoffeeaddict @coffeegleek @quizasvivamos @bitbybitwrites @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @rockitmans @special-bc-ur-part-of-it and whoever else!

Year 6: Mage's kidnapping

When I come home from Christmas break, something is definitely up.

“Did I miss anything?” I whisper to Leslie. We’re walking towards the Dining Hall to meet up with the others.

Leslie looks around.

“I heard this from John,” she leans in, “that the Mage got kidnapped over Christmas.”

“What?!” I exclaim.

“Shut it,” Leslie hisses. Some people are indeed staring at us. “The Coven is keeping it quiet at the Mage’s request. He cannot afford to look weak in front of the Old Families and the Dark Creatures.”

“Then how does John know?” I ask, but I think I already know the answer. John just knows stuff. And so far he’s always right. Maybe he’s a Seer, or something. Not that those are real, but damn, John is a strong contender.

And yes, Leslie tells me that John just knows.

Leslie and I enter the Dining Hall and John waves. Everyone’s already here. I look to Leslie to say something about it, but she’s already run to Sam to catch up. I shrug. Leslie can be mysterious as well.

I sit next to John and I inquire about the Mage’s disappearance.

“Yeah, Simon Snow saved him and all that jazz,” John says quietly.

“Shouldn’t the Mage be the one protecting him, not the other way around?”

“You’d think, huh?” John sighs.

I look around. I assume others know as well, but no one discusses it openly. Even the Old Family kids don’t taunt Simon Snow about his mentor allegedly being kidnapped.

“Why did you tell Leslie?” I ask.

“Because I knew she’d tell you.”

“Why is it important that I know?” I ask, “You know I don’t care about Chosen One stuff.”

I care more about the pudding that’s in front of me. Fuck yeah, pudding. Both my mum and my dad are decent cooks, but they have nothing on cook Pritchard.

John shrugs.

“I needed you to react to it for story reasons,” he says.

“… Okay,” I say and I scoop some pudding on my plate, “Did it work?”

John nods with a smile.

“Yes, it did.”

--

Year 8: Mage's death

“Okay, so, the Humdrum attacked the Pitch Manor, where Simon Snow so happened to be. The day after, it attacks Watford. Simon and the Mage are there. Simon defeats the Humdrum and lost his magic. He kills the Mage. Is that… all?”

“In a nutshell,” Leslie says.

“Why would Simon Snow kill the Mage?” my dad wonders out loud. That is indeed the most surprising part, not even the fact that the Mage killed Ebb, the goatherd.

“The investigation is still in its beginning phase,” John says, “But it sounds like the Mage maybe wasn’t a good man after all.”

“Huh,” my dad says. That’s all. But it summarises it perfectly. Look, my dad and I are just some guys. We don’t have big opinions on the status quo, so we never really questioned how things are.

“So, what now?” I ask.

“There will be an inquiry into the Mage’s death,” Leslie explains, “Mitali Bunce is interim headmistress. Rumour has it that Simon Snow’s magic hasn’t returned, so who knows if he’ll come back to school.”

Damn.

This dude just saved the world, and he has to think about school?

I mean, I do too, but I am no Chosen One.

Bruh, it must suck to be Simon Snow

#tag game

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

More Writing Chat!

Adopted tag game from @commander-krios - since I’ve been going wild with the tags lately, I’ll restrain myself from tagging anyone in particular but please do pick this up if you want (I did!) and tag me in your post! <3 On with the questions:

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

13, though it should be 14. (I have a short WWDITS fic from a couple of years ago, originally published in a zine, that I keep forgetting to archive!)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

132,892

3) What fandoms do you write for?

BG3, Ambition: A Minuet In Power, Hades and What We Do in the Shadows

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Sharp Teeth, Rolan x Tav, E

2. Après Theâtre, Guillermo x Nandor, T

3. Sharess’s Sundries, Rolan x Tav, E

4. Planar Tears, Rolan x OFC, E

5. Tail and Tongue, Rolan x Tav, E

5) Do you respond to comments?

HELL YES. Every time, with the rare exception that if someone’s left six in a row within like one day on the same fic, I might only respond to half of them (although if they’re in depth, you bet I’m responding to every single one). It’s second nature to me: comments just give me such an amazing warm glow and I feel compelled to share it right back <3 I honestly have to stop myself from replying too quickly if I happened to be checking my email in the moment a comment came in. If you’ve ever thought ‘Jesus she’s fast’… I probably wanted to reply even faster. Lol.

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Honestly, I haven’t written any with angsty endings. I guess I like my fluff, in fanfic. I’m working on an original novel that will eventually have a bittersweet/open ending I think. But that’s going very slowly.

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ooh, good question. Maybe Sharp Teeth. They saved the world, after all. Tav goes from impending death, and Rolan from precarity and abuse, to love and a happily (grumpily) ever after.

Ribbons also ends with Yvette and Ludovico living their blissful, unconventional happily-ever-after in Rome. So maybe that too.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! I don’t think I’ve ever written for pairings that are a locus of that kind of attention. The closest I’ve ever got is spotting a comment in the fanfic subreddit that I’m 95% sure was complaining about the ear licking in Sharp Teeth specifically lol. Which amused me greatly.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! M/F mostly, though I’ve also written a bit of F/F. And mostly kinky, lol. The list of kink stuff I want to explore is LONG.

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not against it, but haven’t had one occur to me yet.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. I think I’m too small a fish for that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

See 11), haha

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Currently co-writing a very goofy Shane/Farmer & Krobus gift fic with my girlfriend for our flatmate! This reminds me I need to work on it. Purely a private fun gift exchange - she knits us socks <3

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

This doesn’t super work as a question for me, because it’s usually whatever I’m currently obsessed with. But from the sheer number of times I’ve read the book, and watched the 1995 BBC series - Elizabeth and Darcy? (Otherwise I’m just going to say Rolan x Steel Weave Tav. Catrin’s in the doghouse for being difficult to write rn)

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Hades fic, ‘Family Gatherings’. I have a fun lil plan for Zag hanging out with each of his surface family in turn (sometimes in pairs/trios) and seeing how Meg/Than feel about it. And it is really fun and sweet - but unfortunately I started writing it at the tail end of my Hades obsession, so whilst I think it’ll get a couple more chapters at least, I’m not really motivated to finish.

I also want to finish my Yvette/Ludovico smut fic Britches, which has a pegging chapter that its audience of like 3 people have been waiting for for years - but since that’s half-written, it will definitely happen eventually!

16) What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm. I think I do characterisation well, particularly in dialogue - I try to imagine the characters speaking their lines to check that what I’ve written works. And sometimes I write really neat descriptive lines.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

White room syndrome for sure. I tend to hone in on the characters a lot and ignore the surroundings. Connective tissue - moving from one scene to another - can be a bit janky. Sometimes I can overdo facial expressions, and I rely on ‘hot’ and ‘cold’ a lot to describe all manner of feelings.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

This is a rogue q, haha. I have done it - Guillermo’s mum talks to him in Spanish - but my Spanish is secondary-school level so it’s not great. I did pre-emptively warn about it though, haha.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

As a kid, thinly-veiled Star Trek isekai that went nowhere. As an adult, WWDITS.

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh my god. Too hard to choose. I love all my fics. With that said (and with significant recency bias), Sharp Teeth. I’m so proud of writing my first novel (ish) length fic, and it brought me such joy to write.

I’ll also forever love my first fic, Après Theâtre. I re-read it recently for the first time in a while and honestly laughed so much at my own fucking jokes. I think I really nailed the tone of the show and that makes me so happy!

#cabbage writes #fanfic #tag game

[mistresslynndramione]

Lynn’s FAQ’s

Bookbinding/Translations/Podfics: 

I’m fine with all non-profit endeavors. 

And there is a podfic of From Wiltshire, With Love up on spotify by the amazingly talented AutumnFoxWrites! Somehow she manages to do different voices/accents for all the characters and keep it up throughout the story.

https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/autumn-fox2

Where is the title of From Wiltshire, With Love from? 

It’s a play on words from the James Bond spy movie, From Russia, With Love. Malfoy Manor is located in Wiltshire.

Do you have any recs? 

Absolutely! My tumblr is chock full of recommendations and mini-reviews of underrated writers and their stories. Feel free to peruse. The Dramione subreddit also has the What Are You Reading? thread, Self-rec Sunday, the WIP Wednesday thread and the Underrated Fanfic Friday thread which are goldmines.

Where do I post? 

Archive of Our Own and Fanfiction.net, although lately I haven’t posted on ff.net. I posted FWWL on Wattpad, I don’t know if I’ll post anything else there.

What are you working on now? 

I’m finishing up an extremely niche birthday fic for Bek. I may or may not post that third epilogue to Blackmailed. I’d like to continue Draco’s Body, for another chapter. Long fic: I’m also working on Butterfly, my evil author’s day submission.

Are you writing any original fiction? 

No. I love my day job and fanfiction is purely an escapist outlet for my creativity where I am beholden to no one but myself. Writing original fiction would defeat the purpose.

Hey! You make art! 

Yes, sometimes! I post here on tumblr, and I post my art on AO3 and instagram.

Your parents really read your smut? 

Yes. Yes they did. It was a very wholesome experience and I live blogged it! My kids also know that I write fanfiction, everyone is very supportive. It feels good not to hide my hobby! (that being said, no one at my work knows, that’s a bridge too far)

Why don’t I see you on the Room of Requirement discord? 

When I was new to fandom and social media and still figuring things out, I got cyberbullied by those authors and a couple of the admins, artists and podficcers highlighted there. After taking my words from (what I thought were) interesting, friendly conversations out of context, one of the soon-to-be RoR admins incited a cybermob with those authors. They targeted me on the Dragon Heart String discord server and ostracized me in the few weeks following in an attempt to push me out of fandom. But I didn’t leave, I stood up for myself and explained how my words were misconstrued. 

After the initial shock, the mods and those that unwittingly participated in the cyber mob apologized. The one that instigated it all was a DHS mod at the time. She never apologized and her mod status was removed. In an attempt to understand server dynamics, the other DHS mods surveyed the community, and it quickly became apparent that bullying was a rampant problem. Many server members were targeted before me, there and on other platforms. To try and stop it, the DHS mods closed down the author-based channels since the bullying stemmed from those authors and their friends and fans. 

Many disagreed with the decision, and the RoR discord opened up a month later with those very same author-based channels that you see today. If you’re wondering why there isn’t much overlap between DHS and RoR, this is why. When I spoke up about my experience on reddit before, I didn’t want to name specific people and I still don’t. But I do think there’s value in warning folks off in a general sense. It’s truly appalling when adult women use their internet clout and lack of consequences to recreate the worst of middle school behavior. Like most moderated spaces, RoR has an anti-bullying policy, but the popular members behave as they choose. None of them have apologized to me or anyone else for their behavior.

Even to this day, they gossip about readers, writers, artists and each other. They bully people on RoR and other platforms. Their behavior has caused many artists, writers and readers to delete their accounts or leave the fandom. Some of the folks bullied by that group reached out to thank me for posting about my experience. 

On to the happy stuff:

A Guide to My Fics 

Innovation, E, WIP, 2/3 chapters posted, a short story written for Bek’s birthday full of snark, banter, sexual tension and hate sex

Summary: Draco and Hermione make each other miserable. But they come to an arrangement eventually.

Escape From Malfoy Manor, E, 70-100K, Choose Your Own Adventure, war AU.

Summary: Hermione wakes up in a prison cell with no memory of how she got there. Will she make it out alive? A fic/art collab with some friends designed to make you laugh, shriek in terror, bite your nails, cringe, and ponder your life choices. With over 35 delightfully gruesome ways for our favorite protagonists to die, this is a great Halloween read.

From Wiltshire, With Love, E, 350K, spy/handler war AU

Summary: Hermione convinces Draco to spy for the Order and she becomes his handler. But what are his true motivations? Hard to say when he's still figuring that out himself.

WINNER: 2022 Top Dramione Fics on Reddit 4th Place Wartime 2nd Place BAMF!Hermione

Shivering With Antici - SAY IT! - pation, E, 20K, smut and snark, an AU in the FWWL universe

Summary: Spying for the Order is taking its toll on Draco. To cheer him up, Hermione brings him to a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show to participate in the virgin induction ceremony. 

Draco is not amused.

Blackmailed, E, 48K, smut and snark, 7th year, a surprising plot and gut punch at the end

Summary: Draco finds out something pertaining to the war that Hermione would do anything to prevent from getting out. How far is she willing to go to protect her secret?

WINNER: 2022 Top Dramione Fics on Reddit 2nd Place Dom!Draco (but he's totally a switch here, as is Hermione)

Draco’s Body, E, 11K, demon!Draco, war AU, co-created with art from the amazing @doodleladi 

Summary: The war rages on and changed Draco into something evil.

They All Taste the Same, E, 77K vampire war AU, this one has two endings, based on Hermione’s decision to become a vampire or not. One is MCD, one is HEA. Written in 2010, finished during the pandemic.

Summary: Draco has always wanted Hermione, but a recent change has him wanting her even more.

A Dish Best Served Cold, E, 56K, 8th year, smutty, trope-busting whodunnit, my first ever fanfiction, written in 2010. 

Summary: Somebody is out to get Hermione. Draco gets caught in the middle, and doesn't mind at all!

The Gods Must Be Crazy, drabble collection for the Last Drabble Writer Standing Competition, Greek God prompts, each drabble has a different theme, plot, topic, genre. I highly recommend this competition. It’s good for meeting new friends, and improving your writing!

#dramione #dramione fanfiction #dramione art #draco x hermione #dhr #dhr fandom #dhr fanfic #dhr fanart #Dramione fanfic #dramione fandom #dramione fanart #dhr fanfiction #faq