#always mentioning them and always talking about them people are fucking sick

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

One of the things that still really frustrates me is how we know the crew of OFMD were so intentional with cutting off any "Ed is abusive!" allegations at the knees.

There are three things from Ed's kraken spiral that we know for a fact did not make it into the show. One of them (the scene of Ed throwing a knife at Izzy) even made it into the trailer before it was cut; the other two I'm thinking of are the bts footage we have of Ed drinking heavily the night he has his last fantasy of looking at the cake toppers and a still of Ed making the bride cake topper push around the groom.

I think all three of these things were very wise to cut and it's obvious why they did it. The drinking and throwing stuff ran the risk of making Ed look too much like his abusive dad (not to mention heavy drinking tied to abusive behavior runs into deeply uncomfortable stereotypes about indigenous men like Ed), and when all we see of Ed is him gently caressing the cake topper that reminds him of Stede, it reinforces a core aspect of Ed as a person, which is how he would never, ever hurt Stede and wants nothing but gentleness and tenderness for and from him.

And it's incredibly frustrating that these things weren't enough. We're shown over and over again that Ed during the kraken spiral, right up until his mutiny-as-a-suicide-attempt, is doing normal piracy (that's why Archie is here! The only characters who are emotionally affected are the ones who know what life was like on Stede's ship!), and the only person who is actually physically harmed is Izzy (for good reason in Ed's mind; he was the trigger for the whole thing and Ed lists him along with booze and drugs as destructive influences on his life). We even get other characters say things to Stede like "do you think Blackbeard is gonna murder you" and Stede, who explicitly knows Ed better than anyone, is always like "what the fuck are you talking about? Of course not," and he's obviously right.

It's just so disheartening that there can be this much intentionality in making sure it's next to impossible to read a man of color as abusive and it will still happen. White fandom has such a tendency to center itself and white characters that it doesn't even matter how much effort they put into taking the audience by the shoulders and saying "this guy isn't abusive, he's being an imperfect victim in response to being abused himself," up to and including having the white guy in question say on his deathbed "sorry for abusing you for years." And people still wonder why fans of color are sick and tired of this shit to the point where some of us just want to leave fandom altogether.

#ofmd #our flag means death

[apollo3-1-5]

so um….

#i dropped out of the semester #being out and sick for 2 weeks kinda fucked me over #and i hate the school so it’s not worth busting my ass over #people recommended i take a gap year but i was scared i wouldn’t ever go back to school if i did #but im motivated to go to school in the spring (or next fall but hopefully next spring) #i made great friends here and plan to still visit them occasionally and talk to them regularly #i realized i want to go into science not english or humanities #and i was planning on transferring after this semester regardless so #tw: mention of suicidal ideation #i have felt more genuinely suicidal in the past few weeks than i have in years #im so glad to be out i feel so much relief knowing im not stuck struggling here #im glad my friend is going to help me pack and move boxes and stuff #im glad i have such good friends who talked to me about me wanting to drop the semester candidly #and who actually lsitened to my points and didn’t blindly tell me yes or no #yes i’ll be sad to move away from the city and not casually hang out with friends #but im going to work and still talk with my friends #txt #personal txt #i struggled so much during highschool i’m so tired #im don’t need to always run myself ragged it’s time i learn when i should take a step back instead of jsut trying to push ahead anyways #i don’t think i should spend the time money and energy on struggling this semester when i don’t have to #when i can wait and find a better school and not get sick immediately (knock on wood) #anyways i jsut needed to write some of my thoughts down about this so i can’t forget how good and right this decision feels later on #i felt so trapped and stressed i cannot express how relieved i am

[aphrogeneias]

more than seven minutes — one-shot

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: after you spend nearly a week completely avoiding your best friend, he takes matters into his own hands. and if that means locking you into a room with him until he makes you talk, then so be it.

word count: 2.6k

warnings: smut (+18), fluff, friends to lovers, forced proximity, love confessions, mentions of a sex dream, dry humping, oral sex (f receiving), hand job, dirty talk

author's note: another reupload! this is the only steve fic i've ever written, or rather, the only one i started and finished. not sure if i really write steve that well, but i tried <3 this has a part two and will be uploaded soon too.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Don't you trust us?"

From your left, Robin's faux exasperated tone had you throwing her a mean side-eye. Her girlfriend, Vickie, on your right, giggled, "I don't think she does, Rob."

It wasn't that you didn't trust them. On a normal day, you would trust those two with your life, but given the circumstance you recently put yourself into, you couldn't help but be suspicious.

They'd found you hiding — or trying to, at least — at the back porch during another one of Tina's house parties, which were getting more and more boring to you, but you needed an escape, and cheap beer with some questionable company would have to do it. 

You were sitting with another one of your friends when Robin and Vickie, appearing seemingly out of nowhere — confusing you immensely because they'd be two people you wouldn't expect to find at Tina's on a Friday night — took your plastic cup from your hand and pulled you by the arms to follow them.

Dragging you along, each one linked to your arms from both sides, passing in between the crowd of bodies gathered in the living room, occasionally having to push a drunk jock out of the way, and guiding you up the stairs, into the upstairs hallway. They moved fast, the people around you passing by like a sea of blurred faces.

You were thrust forward when you reached one of the doors, and were pushed inside by Robin, who flashed you an apologetic smile, shrugging, "I'm sorry!"

"Robin!" Yelling over the loud music that bled through the walls, you could hear giggling from the outside, as well as the sound of a key being turned in doorknob. Your heart raced as you slowly realized what was happening, "Vickie! What the fuck?"

You knew who was behind you without even having to turn around.

Taking in your surroundings, you could tell it was a guest room, untouched by the madness going on downstairs and in the hallway. Sitting on the neatly made bed, above the soft pastel bedding, Steve Harrington looked like a kicked puppy, brown eyes following your every move from where you stood, still at the bedroom door, unsure of what to do.

He was the first to break the silence, "So… now I have to resort to kidnapping you in order to have a conversation with my best friend?"

Leaning back into the cold wooden surface of the door, you tried to sound as unbothered as possible, knowing very well you were about to crack. "I wouldn't call that much of a kidnapping. Your henchwomen are a little too clumsy for that."

When Steve didn't answer you, merely raising an eyebrow, unamused, you tried again. "So, uh… what is this, exactly? Seven minutes in heaven? You know this isn't seventh grade anymore, right?"

"No, if it was seventh grade you would still be talking to me and not acting all weird for a whole damn week and not telling me why!"

"I'm not acting weird…"

"Bullshit! You are avoiding me like the plague and I need to know why."

You weren't avoiding Steve.

At least, that's what you had told him the first time he confronted you about it, almost a week ago. He had showed up at your house, unannounced as always, with a new film he knew you'd love and a bag of popcorn and candy, walking in as if it was own place — and it was, in a way, more of a home than his own has ever been. You made up an excuse about how you were sick and didn't want to get him sick as well, ushering him out of the house with an apology and the promise of a raincheck on your movie night.

After that, he'd been calling you, asking what was wrong and why were you avoiding him, and you couldn't bring yourself to tell him the truth. You'd told him it was nothing, you were sick that day, then you were busy, and then… you were running out of excuses.

The truth was that you couldn't look your best friend in the eyes anymore.

Sighing, you looked down at your feet, shuffling in place, "It's nothing, Steve. I'm just confused about… something, but I promise it has nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong, it's just, just a thing that happened." You stuttered.

There was a shift in the air, the tension dropping in the atmosphere as Steve's expression lightened, suddenly focusing entirely on you. He rose from his place on the bed and walked over to you, his body crowding your personal space. 

"Hey…" You felt a hand gently hold your chin, forcing you to look at him, warm brown eyes searching for yours. "I'm not mad at you, okay? I'm just worried. We used to tell each other everything and now you're acting like this and I don't know what to think."

Overwhelmed by Steve's closeness, his smell and the heat of his body invading your senses, and his hand moving to cradle your cheek, distracting you from gathering your thoughts, you close your eyes as you lean into his touch. "If I tell you, do you promise you'll stay not mad at me?"

"I don't think I could ever be mad at you, Y/N."

With a deep breath, you walked away from him. The nearness, the feeling of his hand on your skin brought you vivid memories of the exact reason you were pushing him away.

"Ihadasexdreamaboutyou."

"A what?"

"A sex dream! I had a sex dream about you and I'm embarassed enough as it is, okay? I know it's weird, but we can't really help what we dream of, you know? It's like our brains produce images using the faces of people we know but it doesn't necessarily mean anything…"

"I get it! I get it, you don't need to explain yourself, I promise." Steve interrupts your rambling, you're still avoiding making eye contact with him, but you notice a light shade of pink take over his face. Silence fell over the room, both of you still trying to come to terms with what you'd just confessed.

"What was your dream like?"

He was closer now, you realized. There was something different in his eyes, a look you'd never seen before — far more intense, pupils blown wide. An electric current grows between you, like a live wire, ready to explode. It didn't help you stop thinking about the Steve in your dream, looking up at you with those same eyes, hands hungrily exploring your naked body.

It was all you could think about in the past few days — and then, there he was, warm and real, right in front of you, your Steve.

"Steve…"

"Please? I'm curious. It can't be that bad."

Turning around, you stared at the wall instead of having to look at him, feeling flustered all over. "I don't remember a lot of the details, but, uh… I think we were on my couch and we were… I  was riding you, I think." Letting out a nervous laugh, you gathered the courage to turn again, pretending to not be affected, "Crazy, right?"

"Not that crazy. Coming from you, I was expecting something a little more shocking." 

You laughed earnestly then, feeling some of the tension leave your body. "Yeah. Screw you, Harrington."

Steve started taking a few tentative steps forward, and instinctively, you took some backwards, until your back hit the wall behind you. Leaning in, those same dark, hungry eyes lowered to your lips, and down to your cleavage — you felt vulnerable under his gaze, but not uncomfortable. It felt right, even though it made your skin prickle. "Can I ask you one more question?"

"Yeah." You breathed out.

One of his hands trailed along your waist, keeping you still as the other rested beside your head, on the wall. This was a line you'd definitely never crossed, even with Steve being as affectionate as he was, always keeping at least one hand on you. Not even in the many times you'd shared a bed and woke up tangled in each other. This was different, heavy with anticipation.

"Did you… touch yourself… thinking about this dream of yours?"

It felt like your head was spinning. Despite yourself, you drew in a sharp inhale, "Do you really need to know that?"

"Only if you want to tell me." His voice was gentle, much more restrained than the wild look in his eyes, barely keeping himself together. "But something tells me you do."

Steve wasn't blind to the effect he had on you, especially up close, where he could feel your heavy breathing, watching the way your body responded to his. Throwing every caution you had out of the metaphoric window, you finally looked him in the eyes, bringing him closer, and resting your hands on his broad shoulders.

"What if I told you that I did? What if I told you that I had my fingers inside of me thinking about how good it would feel if I was bouncing on your cock instead? How would it feel to have you run your hands all over me while I do it? Is that what you want to hear?"

Like the cat who got the cream — or the guy who got his best friend to confess how badly she wants to fuck him — he smirked, now holding you with both hands around your waist.

"Any chance you want to make that dream come true, baby?" 

"If King Steve is offering, who am I to refuse?"

"Shut up."

Snaking a hand up your back, raising a chill up your spine, and holding the back of your neck, his mouth descended on yours with a deep kiss. It started clumsy, all teeth and uncoordinated hands, two friends who dared cross a line they'd never return from. Steve took control, then, leading you towards the bed, and laying you on top of it, his hands never leaving your body as he climbed on top of you.

"You should have told me about this earlier. Could've helped you out, you know." He said, in between kisses, descending his mouth to your jaw, and down to your neck, his tongue eliciting tiny gasps from your gaping lips, "You were driving me insane."

His hands travelled under your shirt, after yanking it from under your skirt, finding your covered breasts. Too eager to feel you, he felt you up over your bra, squeezing and caressing his thumb over your nipples. Between Steve's hands and his kisses, you were left breathless under him, seeking whatever release you could get, grinding your hips against his thigh, which was resting between yours. You could feel your cotton panties cling to your wet folds, slick with desire.

"I think you're the one driving me insane here." You whined, biting his lower lip and dragging it just slightly. Steve's eyes darkened above you, and you felt his hands lower, slowly, to the hem of your already bunched up skirt. You watched as he sat up on his knees and removed his polo shirt, revealing his broad chest, and feeling the sudden urge to run your hands over the tuft hair and the smattering of freckles covering it.

"Consider it payback, baby."

They stopped at the waistband of your underwear, and stilled, as he asked, brown eyes as gentle as ever, almost whispering, "This okay?"

"Yeah. Please."

Lowering his head, he left kisses over your thighs as he brought the fabric down your legs and off your body, his hot mouth leaving a trail of small teeth marks and spit that warmed you to your core. There was an underlying devotion in Steve's touch, a reverence he always treated you with — like you were something precious, something worthy of praise. It set you alight under his expert fingers, running over the soft skin of your parted thighs.

Wasting no more time, Steve licked a long stripe over your weeping slit, flattening his tongue. You dropped your head to the pillow beneath you, not being able to stop the moan that rose on your throat. One of your hands reached to grab his hair as he alternated between flicking his tongue over your clit and sucking on it, groaning into your pussy like he was enjoying it just as much as you were. His strong hands grabbed your thighs and pulled you further into him, burying himself into you, his nose touching your clit as he delved his tongue into your hole, fucking you with it.

A litany of moans filled the room, along with the filthy, sloppy sounds of his mouth devouring your pussy. You felt delirious, skin burning and grinding yourself shamelessly into his mouth, meeting his movements. 

"Isn't that better, honey?" He teased, bringing a finger down to your entrance and into you, stroking your walls in a torturingly slow pace, making you pout as you kept moving your hips, "Better than fucking yourself with your tiny, little fingers? You could have had this instead of hiding from me."

Mumbling something incoherent, you could barely keep your thoughts together as you felt him add a second finger into you, pumping them faster this time.

"Louder. Let me hear you."

"So much better. You feel so good, Stevie, so fucking good. Please don't stop."

At that point, you didn't care how whiny you sounded. Steve didn't seem to care either, shifting between your legs to wrap his lips around your clit again, matching his languid thrusts as he curled his fingers inside of you, building up the tension in your core, your pleas of "faster, please!" rising from your lips.

He obliged, looking at you with hooded eyes. You meet his gaze as you cry out, feeling your orgasm hit you like a wave, crashing into you slowly, and then all at once. He keeps his fingers moving as you ride it out, breathing heavily, and running your hand over his messed up hair, much gentler this time.

"C'mere, baby." You called, voice a little weak from exhaustion. Steve leaned over and you met him halfway, supporting your upper body into your elbows, and kissed him. Deep and slow, savoring the taste of his tongue, still stained with your juices, making you dizzy with uncontained lust, and, quite frankly, an overwhelming feeling of possessiveness, as if you had just marked him as yours.

After spending years watching him pine over Nancy Wheeler, and throw himself into date after meaningless date, it felt only fair.

Not you'd ever admit this to him out loud.

Distracting him with your kisses, you manage to take control, flipping him over, and mounting him, straddling his hips. Steve doesn't stop missing you, however, bringing his hands to rest over your hips and guide you to grind your exposed pussy over the tent on his jeans. You could almost feel him pulsing under you, bringing a new jolt of pleasure through your body, making you run your nails over his chest.

Quickly undoing his belt, and his zipper, you bring his pants down, just enough to free him from his boxers, feeling his length warm and heavy in your hand. He pants under you, his eyes rolling back as you tease him with your fingers, lightly, before running your thumb over the delicious vein on the underside of him, all the way to his already weeping head.

Before you could do much else, you heard a hard knock on the door, followed by barely hushed giggles.

"Are you still alive in there? Do we need to call the police?"

"Go away, Buckley! Jesus." 

Steve groaned at Robin's interruption, running his hands over his face, flushed with frustration. You release him from your hold, chuckling a little at his outburst. Leaving a kiss to his nose, driving his attention back to you, you ask "Your house isn't too far from here, right?"

"Yeah. Your point being…"

"I think we should take this party somewhere a little less crowded."

Humming deep inside his chest, Steve leans up, pecking you on the lips, "Now you're speaking my language."

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington smut

[mysicklove]

𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐄

DAY 10: SOMINOPHILIA

With: Levi Ackerman

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: gn! reader, sub! levi, nightmares + insomnia mentioned, oral (m! receiving), handjob in dreams, implied age gap, set in around season 2 timeline? im kinda forgetting which season erwin was in... kissing..lots of kissing, reader being puppy coded and levi is sick in love

A/N: sorry this is late!!!! i hope this also isnt too confusing considering it switches back and forth between his dream and irl. idk. also title is named after a song by The Mamas and The Papas that i LOVEEEE

Levi Ackerman finds himself plagued with nightmares. It was always like that though, since he could remember at least. Three to four nights a week he awakes in the middle of night dripping with sweat with his heart nearly beating out of his chest. He has grown used to the lack of sleep by now, it barely bugs him anymore.

That is, until he found someone to share his bed with. 

You were his light, as dramatic and sappy as it sounds, and something he will never admit out loud. But it was true, finally in this dim world he finds himself in, you came crashing in, brighter than the sun. He had fallen for you in record time, and you, drawn to his stoic and feisty aura, came tumbling down after him.

It's been a year now since you've gotten together, and Levi swears the nightmares are getting less frequent. 

Well, at least in the nights where you lay beside him. The nights where you hold him, and he has easier access to your heartbeat. The steady rhythm of your chest rising and falling. Alive.

He doesn't go into too much depth about the nightmares, but you know the general scene of them, usually relating back to his comrades deaths. He has mentioned that the recent ones involve you, and it makes your heart crumble for your beloved each time his voice cracks through the explanation. You don’t press too much on the matter – the nights he wakes up in a cold sweat, you are there to ease him back to sleep, reassuring that you and he are safe. He almost gets a full night of sleep with you around.

But alas, you aren’t all sunshine and rainbows, and neither is he. Nope, you happen to be one of the most erotic people have ever met (though, he hasn’t met many). A sick brat is what he calls you, or sometimes a disgusting pervert, if he’s feeling extra grumpy. The nicknames fly past your head, as you pepper his face with kisses. It was all in good spirit, is what you remind yourself at least. 

“Soooo, Hange recommended–”

“No.”

You pout at the man, pulling away from his chest to glare at him. “You didnt even let me finish my sentence.”

His cold face doesnt let up, even if his eyes hold a playful light to them. “I am smart enough to recognize that anything having to do with Hange is a bad idea.”

You playfully hit his chest, and the man raises his eyebrows at you. A smile pulls at your lips, and Levi cant help but stare whimsically at you. It was unfair, really. “Fine, get on with it, brat.”

“How would you feel if I woke you up with a blow job?” His reaction is immediate, first shock, and then as a couple seconds go by he seems to be much more inclined to agree, but then finally settles on an scowl.

“Why were you talking to Hange about these things?”

You cock your head to the side, tapping on your chin. “Well, I mentioned that your nightmares have started again, and they told me that oral sex helps stop them. Something neurologically with your dick and brain? I don't know.”

He stares at you for a couple of seconds, bewildered at your explanation. But, he realizes quickly what is up, and he immediately pinches the bridge of his nose with a long sigh. “They are fucking with you, idiot. Just trying to get me laid. Hange has always been like that.”

Your face falls at the words, and Levi swears you managed to master the kicked puppy look. He grabs your hands and pulls you back onto his chest, rolling his eyes when you hum into his skin. The warmth brought him comfort, and he finds himself more at peace. “I mean…It won't help with the nightmares, but who would turn down waking up to a blowjob?” Levi mumbles into your hair, while rubbing his hands up and down your arms.

You twist to look up at him, the familiar grin back on your face. “Yeah?”

He scoffs at you, an embaressed blush coating his cheeks. “Just dont wake me up early, alright. Just gonna piss me off.”

He swears he can see you wagging a tail. “Of course, Captain!”

Two weeks have gone by, and Levi has not woken up to your face anywhere near his dick. He has awoke to kisses along his cheeks, and neck, but that wasnt new, you were always disgustingly affectionate in your half awake state. He holds a content (half) smile for about ten seconds as he shuts the door of your room, only for it to drop when he sees Hange.

He wasnt the one to complain though, maybe you were just teasing him. You always did like to press his buttons. He wasn't going to give you the satisfaction of knowing he wants it. So, the dark haired man continues on, nightmares and all, through the weeks.

By the time a month came passing by, he knows that you forgot all about your stupid little promise – your stupid naive words that only worked to piss him off. He glared at you from across the halls for a whole week – never daring to actually show you real signs that he was upset. But after you accidentally caught him frowning at you from across the training grounds, he was immediately dragged back your shared rooms, and fucked lovingly, as you apolgized for everything you could think of that would piss the man off.

You didnt mention the blowjob, but Levi was content with the disheveled hair, and the hickeys and bite marks littering his body, so he forgives you. 

He forgets about the blowjob after two months. You were more horny than usual, so the two of you were at it multiple times a week. He would end up too exhausted to hold any real dreams, including his nightmares.

Levi was okay with it.

9 am. Levi, for the first time ever, was oversleeping. Of course when you woke up at 8 am, on your day off from training, and found your lover by your side, you couldnt help but be shocked. He was usually gone by 5 am to get to training. 

But you heard him woke up multiple times in the middle of the night. The nightmares were back. His shaky hands wrapped around you, and he panted into your neck, trembling like you've never seen before. You don't know what triggered it, but Levi seemed to have a really bad night. 

He deserves to sleep in. So, at fifteen past 8, you scamper to Erwins office and beg the commander for Levi to have a day off. He always did have a soft spot for you. For one, you brought happiness to humanities strongest, and also because his friend silently threatened him death if he was to mistreat you. Erwin agreed without much hesitation. 

You crawl into bed next to your lover, and begin to trace his content face. At least the nightmares were gone for the night.

Then, the realization hits you. This was the perfect time for you to finally do as promised.

You waited months because you wanted Levi to forget about your words. Of course, you assumed he forgot them after a couple of days, paying no attention to your promise, but you waited it out just in case. 

And now, the both of you dont have any plans today. A once in a lifetime experience, it has got to be.

So with one more glance at your lover, you kiss his cheek, hold back a small giggle, and slowly remove the blanket from his lap. Then, you slide yourself down on the bed, and carefully manevuer yourself in between his legs. He doesnt sleep with much attire, growing hot in the night. Plus with the addition of the cold sweat he often finds himself in, he learns that going next to bare was easier. 

You pull down his boxers, and are immediately exposed to a dark patch of hair. It's trimmed properly, but he prefers to have a little hair down their over being completely shaven. Something on the lines of protecting his dick from germs or whatnot. You dont listen to the details, only thinking about how hot it is.

The boxers make it past his thighs, and you glance back up at the man. He doesn't even seem to flinch when the cool air comes into contact with his skin. He snoozes peacefully into the pillow, his dark hair covering his eyes. 

His dick lays limp against his leg, and you pick it up slowly, careful to not wake him up. You run your fingers over it a couple of times, and then, holding the back of it with your fingers to support it, you run your tongue from bottom to top of the length. 

Levi doesn't move. You take that as a sigh to continue. 

Another stripe of the tongue, and then two more, and nothing happens. You grow bolder by the moment. You place his still soft cock into your mouth, and this time you do hear a reaction. Its a quiet sigh, but it was something. His eyes still remain shut.

Slowly, you begin to suckle on the tip, finding it easier to fit it in your mouth while soft. Your tongue roams the shaft, and you press sloppy, wet kisses to his veins. Blood rushes to his cock unconsciously, and Levi still has not stirred, even with his cock now hard. You chuckle with amusement, but dont stop your movements, now dragging your hands along his thighs to appreciate his body.

Levi was having a good dream. It wasnt like the past couple of nightmares, no, this one seemed to have a light hue. It was just the two of you, laying with your backs against grass. A open field, far away from everyone, and not a threat in sight. Titans were gone.

A peaceful world for the two of you. A world Levi craved. 

His hands trace your face, and he stares at you, admiring every crease and divot of your skin. You slide your way over toward him, leaning forward to kiss him. “I love you.”

He hums, eyes falling shut, as he wraps his arms around your body. “Yeah, yeah. Love ya too, brat.”

You giggle at him, and suddenly the smile on your face shifts. It turns soft, the tips of your mouth curling up in an almost feline way, while you eyes become hooded. He watches you lean forward and press your lips to his. The man doesnt stop you, gently kissing you back while your tongue slips into his mouth. Levi gulps when your hands trace down to his pants, and he quickly looks around the meadow, afraid to discover an unwelcomed guest. Of course there was nobody, it was a dream, not a nightmare. Your hand slips into his pants, and Levi’s back arches in the grass.

He twitches in his sleep and you smile fondly at the man. The tip of his cock rest against your cheek, as you admire him for a second too long, only to be rewarded with jolt of his hips from the source unknown, sending it slapping across your face. You hold back a laugh, and then grab at it again, mumbling out a, “Even a brat in your sleep, huh Captain?” 

You lean forward and wrap your lips around him again.

“D-Don't stop!” Levi groans out, hands clutching at your shirt while he squeezes his eyes shut. It doesn't stop the sun from getting past his eyelids, so he moves closer to you to hopefully block it out. You press your lips to his neck, nibbling at the space just beneath his ears.

“Would never,” You purr, and the man glances at your hand. His pants are pulled down completely now, and your pace was rutheless in its up and down motions. It sends him shivering, and covering his face with the back of his arm. He breathes through clenched teeth, and tries his best not to let out a whimper. The man hears your giggle, and before he could stop himself, the whine slips out.

The first noise of the morning was a low whimper. Not much, but definitely there, and unbelievably cute. You grip at his hips and try to take him deeper, but his hips thrusts back into your mouth with another paired whine. Your eyes widen, and you gag out at the unexpected movement, having to pull away to catch your breath. His dark hair whips back and forth, and he continues to make low mewling noises. “Huh, and you call me the pervert. What are you dreaming about, pretty?”

Levi moans into your mouth, wrapping his arms around your neck. His hips buck up into your hands, and you playfully bite his lip, earning a dramatic grunt in complaint. He grips your hair and pulls you back to his lips before you try and let out another teasing remark. Precum leaks onto your hand, and he swears that it provides more of the makeshift lube then usual. Your hand feels better than normal, strangely damp, and so warm. Did handjobs always feel this good?

He can feel his high approaching and his breaths come out quicker. “Gonna..cum. Fuck!”

You detach yourself from his lips. “No, no, no! Not yet!” You tease, voice light and almost giggly. It wasn't the first time you denied him of his release, but it was rare. You always di did pamper him. 

The man scowls at you, borderline on the cusp of baring his teeth. “Why?” He demands, short and simple, but shows exactly how peeved he is. Levi is more than surprised to feel that you didn't squeeze his cock in warning. No, still the warm, tight feeling, that does not make any sense to him.

“Can you do something for me first?”

A demand from you? Unheard of. “Get on with it, I-Im close”

Your hand movements become louder and louder, and it shouldn't sound like that. It's so lewd, and the squelching noise are never that loud. 

You press you lips to his ear, and a shiver runs down his spine at your breath, which is strangely cooler than usual. “Wake up, Captain.”

His eyes snap open immediately and he pants into the dark room. Levi hears it first, before he feels it. A loud slurping sort of noise, and the man feels his cock trapped between something warm, wet. 

A throat. Not a hand. 

He is quick to manevour himself to hold his weight on his elbows, and glances down at you, breaths coming out shallow and quick. You smile when you catch his eye, and for a second you pull away from him. You pepper his length down with kisses. “Well, well, good morning, sleepy head,” You mumble, letting another swipe of your tongue graze his thick blue vein. Then, with little hesitation, you dive back onto his cock, taking it as far as you can into your mouth.

“What are you–Fuck!” His legs instinctually bend outward, and his back arches. His head was still foggy in his half sleepen state. Was that all a dream? Was this real? He grips onto your hair, and does his best not to force you deeper onto his cock.

Levi could feel his orgasm approaching and rapidly, same as the dream. But this time it was real, and by god did it feel that way. His hips buck into your mouth and he lets out loud moans, tucking his face into the pillow to try and muffle them. 

He tries to ask for permission again to cum again, hoping that this time real you wouldnt lead him on. It comes out more as a command, but you just roll your eyes with a smile, the giggle in the back of your throat sending him spiral. 

“Cumming. Oh god. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He chants, and your eyes widen in shock, but you don't pull away from his cock. He was never the one to be polite in bed, the little brat was always barking commands and half hearted complaints. He must be really enjoying this treat if he was to thank you.

You dont have time to dwell on it much, because he forces your head lower onto his cock and cums into your mouth. You wince at the taste, but bear no mind to it as you watch your lover unravel. His back still continues to arch (which you will never get over) while his eyes are shut. The noises he lets out are soft, more of a mewl and a groan, but adorable nonetheless. His whole body trembles and his legs lay out wide, shaking under the force of the orgasm.

You pull away when he is done, and wipe your lips with the back of your hand. “Taste perfect as usual. Always so good on your diet!”

He rolls his eye at you, but it doesn't hold much bite considering that the man seemed to be basking in the post orgasm glow. “You are gross. I know that shit tastes bad.”

“Nope! Anything that the Captian makes is amazing”

He throws a pillow at your face, and you pout at him, a dramatic whine slipping past your lips. “Don't call me that, I am not even your Captain anymore, brat. And stop pouting!” He demands, pulling up his boxers before letting out a big stretch.

“Why are you so mean to me?” You complain, crawling forward to lay on his chest. “After I gave you head too!”

The frown does not drop from his face, but he does trace his fingers along your face. A silent token of affection that you purr into. “Took ya long enough. Thought you forgot about it.”

You fake hurt, taking in a dramatic breath. “Of course not! I would never lie to you.” The words are light, and holds a smile in them. “And hey, dont you think you are a little spoiled? Complaining that you got a blowjob too late.”

Levi doesnt even seem to react, his facial expression remaining neutral, and his words flat. “No ‘m not. Said thank you and everything.”

To this, you do nod, practically vibrating with affection to give. It was too hard to really be upset with him. “Super polite of you! I was so impressed!”

This does make him roll his eyes. “You really think low of me, huh?”

You poke at his cheek with a smile plastered on your face. “Aww cmon dont be dramatic again. You know I dont. Oh! Also, did it help with the nightmares?” You tease, knowing exactly what type of dream he really was having. “You sounded very….Scared in your dream.”

He seems to flush red, but alas, Levi was never the one to be on the losing foot. “....Yes. Seems like you are going to have to do this for me everyday. To stop the nightmares.”

You burst out laughing, and fail to see the small grin that creeps up the dark haired man's face.

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#mello.writes #Barkforme! #Kinktober 2023 #dom! reader #dom reader #sub! levi #sub levi #sub levi ackerman #sub! levi ackerman #levi ackerman smut #levi smut #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x reader smut #aot smut #aot x reader #sub aot #sub! aot

[sexlapis]

Ho! I loooooooveeee your actor toji fics! Is it possible to get added to the taglist? Thank you ~

Also an idea: a bts scene of reader getting sick on set(perhaps even collapsing) due to fatigue and toji taking care of them- I feel like that'd be such a hit ship moment irl :D

thank you for liking my fics <3 you can be added to the tag list 🩵.

and omg yeah i love that idea of reader overworking themselves and toji looking after them :’). and yeah i didn’t make it a behind the scenes clip i made a short fic abt it bc i do not know when to stop.. like give me an idea and i will fly away w it like a bird liek..i don’t even think this is what you asked for srsly…i hope you don’t mind (but i’ll add it to my tojiyn headcanons hehe)

cw: actor toji x actress reader, hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, swearing, petnames (‘kid’, ik people don’t like this one but i think it’s so sweet & so toji :)), collapsing, mentions of skipping meals/not eating, poor sleeping habits, feelings of loneliness & inadequacy, crying, toji taking care of reader, i made this way more angsty than you asked sorry :(

wc: 2k+

you dragged yourself through the doors of the studio, immediately bombarded by directors, stylists, scrip writers and other cast members on your way to the dressing room, only fuelling your fatigue and stress.

sleep was a foreign concept at this point. five hours at most. so were healthy, filling meals - the last time you ate was yesterday at noon, and for breakfast today all you had was a cup of coffee, not helping your nervous, exhausted state.

admittedly, you were not doing very well. you felt that your acting was subpar and you felt lonely and isolated on set. while everyone went with their friends for a break or lunch, you sat by yourself in your dressing room, your only company being the silence.

sure, toji was also on set too, but he played a very minor role, so he wasn’t always there. and even when he was sometimes, he would hang out with the other crew members, which wasn’t a problem of course, but it did sting a little when he chose them over you.

you just felt so lonely, anxious and quite frankly upset at yourself and the circumstances you find yourself in.

there are a few knocks at your dressing room door and you weakly tell them to come in.

toji peeks is head in. “hey, kid. we start in five..” he takes a look at your weary face, dark eye bags prominent even through the makeup the stylists caked on and the frown on your lips and just knows something is wrong.

“are you ‘right?” he asks quietly, like you’re a deer who’s about to run away at the slightest of sounds.

“yes, i’m fine.” you lie, a voice in the back of your mind wishing he’d just ignore you like everyone else on this damn set does.

“‘you sure? ‘cause you don’t look-”

“i said im fine! just get out.” you snap, heart beating and breathing heavily at your own outburst.

fuck. you didn’t mean to say that.

but toji doesn’t look offended. he just nods and walks away footsteps fading as you put your head in your hands and sob.

so there you are, acting in front of the camera with your colleague in a scene where toji appears in too and you just seem off. everyone assumes it’s just not your day today and they’re not exactly wrong. you lines were slightly forced, tired and you were jittery and clearly apprehensive, like you didn’t even want to be here.

“cut!” the director calls out, more than annoyed with your behaviour. it was the sixth take and you’re really trying to make it believable, but it’s futile.

“this is the sixth take _____. this is ridiculous. get your act together. let’s take five.”

you look down at your shoes, face hot and chest thudding with embarrassment due to the director calling you out in front of everybody. tears well up in your eyes and you sigh, blinking them away as everyone starts talking again, walking away leaving you standing there like an idiot.

it all becomes too much for you. your empty stomach, oncoming headache, exhausted body, dry mouth, furrowed eyebrows, sweaty palms-

you let your script fall out of your hand as you stumble off the green screen, trying to get to your room before a hand is grabbing your arm. you turn around and it’s toji again.

“hey..” he leans down slightly to your height, scanning you over once. “you don’t look so good, _____-”

you shrug him off, vision becoming blurred with black static and limbs heavy and shaky. “i-i jus’ need to go. to my..uhm-” you stop, rubbing a hand down your face harshly. “i just-”

and then there is black.

౨ৎ

you come to and realise that you are laying on your dressing room couch, staring up at the ceiling. reaching up, you feel a wet, cool cloth on your head. you take it off. still fuzzy and body essentially lethargic, you try to sit up.

“hey, hey, hey.” toji whispers.

oh, toji’s here.

“take it easy.” he helps you sit up on the arm of the couch. he hands you a bottle of water and you drink it like a god.

“wait, what happened?” you ask, still confused and disoriented.

“you fuckin’ fainted that’s what,” he states bluntly. “scared the fuckin’ dogshit outta me.”

“oh.”

toji sits beside you on a chair, looking at you closely. you look down.

“the med team checked you out.” he tells you. “said you fainted, collapsed-whatever the fuck. ‘cos of stress and exhaustion. they even checked your blood sugar and said it was low as fuck.” he pauses. “not dangerously low,” he adds at the sight of your worried expression, “but.. low enough.”

you sigh, falling back on the couch. you think back to how the director shouted at you, how annoyed he was, and how humiliated you felt. tears start to form again and you cover your face with your hands, not wanting to cry in front of toji. you felt like you’ve had enough embarrassment for today.

toji leans forward. “what’s happening with you?”

the way he said it, so soft and concerned, makes the tears fall down and cause sobs to escape your mouth, hiccuped breaths falling from your mouth.

“hey, hey, hey..” toji coos. he reaches to you and makes you sit up again so he can take you into his arms. you let him, sobbing into his shoulder and sucking up all the comfort he gives you. toji’s big hand strokes your hair and the other caresses your back softly.

“shh, sh, sh…” he calms you down a little, you sobs turning into sniffles. he leans back and gives you space but his hands stay planted on your back. “tell toji what’s wrong.”

you hum sadly, looking down and gulping. “i’m..i’m tired. i wanna sleep..”

toji waits for you to continue. he can see you want to say more so he doesn’t hurry you along, he just rubs your back and nods to let you know you’re listening.

“i..” you take a breath, “i dunno what to do..i can’t do this fucking role.. i’m fucking tired half the fucking day and my so called colleagues don’t even like me!” you try to calm yourself down, taking another shaky breath. “and i just feel..lonely all the time..” you cry out the last few words, feeling another sob session coming up and toji pulls you close, letting you ruin his shirt with your tears as he rocks you back and forth in his arms.

“it’s okay, it’s okay..” he coos, resting his face in your hair.

you both stay like that for a few moments, you weeps dying down before toji talks.

“you can play this part, _____. ‘you have any idea how good your are, huh? you can act circles around half ‘these guys.”

you scoff, pulling your lips together. “i dunno about that..”

“‘m serious. _____, you can act, okay? ‘wouldn’t have made it this far if you couldn’t.”

“yeah but..this one’s hard..” you sigh, voice cracking but toji doesn’t let you start again.

“yeah, acting’s hard. but i can help you,” toji cups your wet face with his hands, wiping the tear streaks that paint you face, “we can all help you. the crew, your friends, that bitchass director. i’ll put a gun to everyone’s head to make them fuckin’ help you with this.”

you giggle at his seriousness and he huffs, relieved that you’re relaxing a little.

“they don’t hate you, y’know. everybody on set. the cast. they just think you’re a little shy and quiet. they don’t hate you, okay?” toji reassures you. you nod absentmindedly and he shakes your head from side to side to make you pay attention, making you smile, eyes crinkling even though they’re still tear stricken. “there she is..who the fuck could hate you, huh?”

“ugh, toji.” you roll your eyes, sniffling and rubbing your face. you pull away from him. “ugh..i just want my bed right now.”

“yeah..i know it ain’t my place but told the director that you’re taking a few days off. you need a break, kid.”

you didn’t even argue with him. you couldn’t.

“yeah, i do.” you agree.

suddenly, a loud rumble from your stomach erupts, it was like an earthquake.

toji laughs. “someone’s hungry.”

you groan. “‘m starving. haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“we’re getting you something to eat.” he states, leaving no room for objections.

toji stands, holding his hand out for you to take. you do, his large, calloused hand dwarfing yours as he helps you stand up. “can you walk?”

“i will if there’s food involved.”

“that’s good.” toji chuckles, “how’s takeout sound?”

a/n: had to write a whole fic abt this i apologise 🥸 will add the tag list later i just keep forgetting the users </3

#📫.toji #📫.answered #toji x reader #toji x you #toji x y/n #toji x self insert #toji fluff #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji fushiguro x y/n #toji fushiguro x self insert #toji fushiguro fluff #toji fushiguro fanfic #actor!toji #actress!reader #toji zenin x reader #toji zenin x you

[clockwayswrites]

Both Ways at Once Part 5

WC: 1766, Masterpost CW: discussions of death, vague mentions of child trafficking and rape

Danny leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He breathed in slowly through his nose, counting. He couldn’t let loose. They didn’t know. John said they didn’t know and Danny trusted John. Not with everything, he knew too much to trust John with everything, but he trusted John with this. The other wouldn’t have done this if he had known.

The gloved hand on his shoulder shifted, sliding to wrap around the back of Danny’s neck and give a little squeeze. It should have felt suffocating. It was grounding. Danny could already feel himself settling and responding to resonate back with Red Hood.

That was dangerous to have that resonance.

“Pomp,” John said. His shoes squeaked as he leaned forward. “Talk to me, Pomp, what did I miss?”

That right there was one of the reasons Danny trusted John, he would step up when he fucked up.

Danny sighed and opened his eyes. “He’s— he was a halfa, John.”

John paled. The color drained out of his face and left him a splotchy grey. His voice was strangled as he insisted, “Halfas are just a myth.”

“Rare, very rare, but not a myth. Think about it John. You said that the Red Hood from before was alive, but you know I’m right, the one here is a protector spirit. He died, John.”

“Red Hood is still alive, he has a heart beat,” Superman insisted.

“I’m still not talking to you,” Danny hissed, not taking his eyes off John. “Constantine. He was a halfa. I don’t know what they are anymore. This one is more ghost than human. I assume that the other one is more human than ghost. But put them back together and they would be perfectly balanced and you’ve been keeping them apart.”

John slumped back, rubbing at his face. “Bloody fucking hell…”

“The other half has been unwell, hasn’t he? Maybe just fatigued, but I bet he’s in pain too. His focus keeps wandering maybe. He’s listless.” Danny finally glanced away from John and over to the trio. Batman was, as always, almost impossible to read, but Danny felt sure Batman was tense. He might even be worried.

He wasn’t even looking at Danny but instead at Red Hood, who Danny was sure was avoiding Batman’s gaze. Even still, Red Hood’s fingers were trembling against the back Danny’s neck.

Danny reached up and took the gloved hand, hooking their fingers together.

“Constantine,” Batman growled, but the word sounded broken, under the bite.

John glanced from Batman to Danny and back again. “If Nightingale says that Red Hood is, was, a halfa, then he was. Nightingale’s the psychopomp, the dead is his realm more than any living I’ve ever met and, hell, more than most people who are dead.”

“And what is a halfa?” Wonder Woman asked, still the calm voice of reason.

“Rare,” Danny bit back, showing his teeth. He made himself take a breath and regulate his tone. “Someone who is half living, half ghost. They are a balance between life and death. If no one knew that Red Hood was part ghost, there’s a chance he wasn’t fully formed before, but I can assure you he’s a protector spirit now, no matter if he’s still alive. It’s also likely why the spell did this. There were already two halves to split. The human who was the living and the ghost who was the death.”

Wonder leaned forward in her seat. “You seem certain that the other half is sick.”

“They have to be— it’s a part of themselves that was ripped out and that leaves a wound. I suspect that because the other one must have more of the human side, he’s suffering more of the human affects of the separation while Red Hood is suffering more of the ghostly affects.”

“And your recommendation?” Wonder Woman asked.

“They need to be together. They need to be together and the place where they’re together needs to be Red Hood’s haunt.”

“His haunt?”

“Likely where he resided before. Or it would be where he patrolled if those are different areas. It would be somewhere emotionally important to him no mater what. As I’ve said, he’s a protector spirit so it should be obvious where his haunt is considering his role as a vigilante.”

“Crime Alley,” Red Hood rasped from behind Danny. his fingers squeezed tighter around Danny’s for a moment.

Danny’s arm was getting sore holding itself up like that, but he wasn’t going to take the comfort away from Red Hood or even deprive himself of that grounding point. It would be too easy for him to lose his temper here and really give the Justice League something to be afraid of.

“Crime Alley then,” he said. He had no reason to doubt what Red Hood was said. A ghost knew their own haunt. “We have to get him back to Crime Alley and they need to be together. I assume you have a place there?”

“No,” Batman said, though he didn’t shift. Wonder Woman placed her hand on his arm again.

“We’re concerned about there being a reaction of some sort should they meet,” she explained. “Constantine said that it might be possible.”

Constantine grumbled under his breath and ducked his head with a little shrug.

“If we didn’t know what was going on, sure, that’s a fair enough worry, but we do and I’m telling you that they need to be together until either they’re back together as one or until they fully settle into two separate people.”

“No.” It was Superman who protested this time.

“You don’t have a choice if you don’t want to torture and kill one or both of them,” Danny said, resisting the urge to bare his fangs at the boy scout again. “They need to go to Crime Alley.”

“He’s dangerous. If he is just the Red Hood half of the personality, which you’ve basically confirmed—“

“I have not. I’ve explained how they were physically split. It has affected how their split in motivation only because motivation is what a ghost is, but I would have to speak with both of them to learn how they are mentally and emotionally split.”

Superman just frowned in a disappointed uncle sort of way, as Danny talked and then continued on like Danny hadn’t even said anything. “Then he’s even more dangerous. We cannot simply let someone like Red Hood go. We have to think about everyone’s safety in this matter, especially civilians.”

“I thought you weren’t killers?” Danny threw back at them, saccharine sweet in his delivery.

It made Superman’s frown deepen, though Wonder Woman actually looked a bit amused.

“We aren’t,” the Big Blue said.

“If you try and keep him here you are. I’m telling you right here and right now that if you do not let him go back to Crime Alley then you are signing his death warrant. You might try to claim that he died in jail, but you’ll still be the cause of it. But that’s how you kill, isn’t it?”

“Nightingale,” John warned under his breath, twitching like he wanted to reach out and touch Danny, maybe to hold him back.

“No, really, it is, isn’t it? You want to to pretend that you don’t kill, that you’re better than whatever Red Hood has done, but are you really? At least he’s Honest about it. Red,” Danny said, tugging at the other’s hand so that he had to move up to stand more beside him. Danny looked up at the mask, looked through it. “You’ve killed.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because they wouldn’t stop. They never stopped. Now that they’re dead, they’ve stopped.”

“Who?”

“Poisoning drug dealers. Rapists. Abusers. Child traffickers. People who threatened my….” Red Hood reared back slightly as if surprised by what his cut off words were going to be.

“Your haunt. Your people. Those under your watch and protection,” Danny said. “See, he’s honest about it. Were all of those deaths in the right? I don’t know. But I’m not sad a rapist is dead. I’m not sad children didn’t get trafficked. Those are the sort of people we’re supposed to be against, isn’t it? Well, us small heroes. You fight bigger names these days, don’t you, Superman?”

“Alright then,” John said, standing suddenly. Red Hood twisted to put himself further between the occult detective and Danny.

Danny patted Red Hood’s arm gently. “It’s okay, John’s trying to protect me. He thinks I’m putting my foot in my mouth and making enemies. And maybe I am. But I’m not going to sit by and watch this hypocrisy. You don’t kill. That’s a damn lie.”

“We don’t.”

“You’ve checked up on ever criminal then?”

“What?” Superman asked, thrown by the sudden question.

“Every criminal you’ve fought, every mugger and back robber and goon, you’ve followed up to see how they’re doing the next day, month, year?”

Superman had that lemon sucking twist to his face again. “No?”

“So you don’t really know, do you, how many criminals walked away from you only to die of brain hemorrhaging later because you punched them into a wall. Or how many died from a complication to their lungs or spine or heart because Black Canary ruptured something with her wail or Flash fucked from contact with the Speedforce. It’s not that you haven’t killed, it’s just that you don’t know how many you’ve killed. It’s impossible to act on the scale that you do and not have killed,” Danny said with certainty.

“Nightingale, I believe you’ve made your point,” Wonder Woman said, still calm, still patient. She was different from the others. She has killed, Danny knew that; she was an Amazon. He remembered his stories from Pandora.

“Have I?” Danny asked. He let go of Red Hood as he stood to lean over onto the table. Danny could feel that snarl building up in his throat again now. The other reached out to touch him again right away. The snarl calmed a little, only a little. “Because what about when Superman has used a building as a barrier to smack an enemy into? No one was ever hurt there? No grannie ever slipped and fell as the building shook and never got up again? At least that would be an accident then, unlike punching someone to death, but don’t pretend your hands aren’t red. Don’t pretend—”

The hiss of the door opening cut Danny off.

The room feel silent.

Danny could see all the heroes tense.

From behind him a voice spoke up, “Well, aren’t you all dramatic.”

--- AN: The mysterious stranger is right! They are all dramatic. Danny was about ready to go for Superman's throat-- literally and just not figuratively. Hope you enjoyed how this all played out! I know people were waiting for Danny to let loose some. Fatigue is hitting me hard right now, so glad to have gotten this out!

Stay delightful, darlings!

I no longer tag, you can instead subscribe to the masterpost!

#dp x dc #dead on main #dead on main street #both ways at once

[sleepyangelkami]

hey, I want to request a long one shot about ellie x cheerleader!reader, but ellie is like a type of emo? idk, she just use very dark clothes, accessories and she's grumpy, meanwhile the reader is the opposite, she is popular and social (she's not mean). strangers to very close friends (also about the social rejection that Ellie had). and it ends with rough smut (lmao sorry, I'm begging)

FUCK THE CHEERLEADERS e.williams

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 7.8K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY - for as long as ellie's known she's hated just about everything and everyone. she hated the school she went to and the people in it. and she hated those prissy cheerleaders. what happens when one of them starts changing her mind?

 ☆ WARNINGS - slight abby anderson x reader (briefly mentioned), smut, slowburn, dom!ellie, sub!reader, mean!ellie, manhandling, fingering (r. receiving), oral (e. receiving), scissoring, squirting, rough sex, slight loser!ellie, praise kink, overstimulation, dirty talk (mmm), jealousy sex, slight innocent!reader?, swearing, smoking, getting high, lowk bullying, ellie is an abby!hater (i'm sorry.), homophobia, petnames, use of y/n, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

ellie williams hated just about everything in the world, it seemed. it was as if a scowl had been engraved on her brows as she walked through the halls of the school. she hated a lot of things, she hated this school. but more importantly, those damn cliches. those jocks and their stupid cheerleaders hanging underneath their arms, it made ellie sick, it made her scowl deepen.

it wasn't unusual for ellie to be clad in her black beanie, black hoodie and black ripped jeans. what could she say? she liked black. with her sketchbook sitting underneath her arm and her backpack hanging from one shoulder, she managed to make her way towards the east end of the school, where her ugly red locker lay. "why the long face?"

the voice had belonged to dina woodward who stood next to jesse (does this man have a last name?) they were both hand in hand next to ellie's locker. the three had lockers next to one another, had since freshman year. the two may have been the only two people ellie tolerated at all. they were her best friends. even so, she found herself scowling at the way their hands were intertwined.

"stupid fucking cheerleaders." already, jesse was rolling his eyes while the girl forced her locker open, this wasn't the first time he's heard that. "thinkin' they run the school, give me a break with their fucking pom poms and the skirts up their asses―"

"we get it ellie." jesse rolled his eyes, shutting his locker door. "what'd they do this time?"

ellie hated the jocks enough but she knew that at least they took pride in being assholes. but the cheerleaders? they walked around school with no consequences, wearing a sugar coated smile that made them look like nothing short of angels. they hid behind the facade of being good people. at least the jocks could admit they were dickheads. the cheerleaders pretended to be something they weren't. and for some reason, it made ellie hate them even more. "what do they ever do." she mumbled. "'here's lessie williams on!' 'draw anything new today williams!' 'let us see inside your sketchbook williams!'" she fawned a high pitch voice. "Like god! it was freshman year can't anyone get over it!"

dina and jesse were conscious of the couple people that had turned their heads to look at them but they knew that one sharp glare from ellie and they'd turn away again.

you see, in freshman year nobody really knew ellie. sure, they knew her but they didn't know her. she was quiet, always sat in the back of the classroom, always scribbling something down on a piece of paper or in her sketchbook. the one thing that brought her joy, the one thing she actually enjoyed doing was drawing.

and they ripped it away from her.

stupid stephanie meadows, who, in all her glory, decided to rip the sketchbook out of her hands and show the rest of the cheerleaders what the girl had been drawing. she had meant it as harmless teasing, ellie was sure. but the girl just so happened to be drawing some... female anatomy.

then birthed the name lessie williams.

she hated those damned cheerleaders ever since.

"i'm really sorry, ellie." jesse wore a sympathetic look as his brows furrowed lightly. there really wasn't anything they could do. they would stand up for her but that'd only drag them down. ellie understood this, she didn't expect anything from them. "that sucks."

but ellie didn't respond to his sympathy or his pity, merely slamming the locker door shut. "man, fuck the cheerleaders." her infamous catchphrase. she wore it out, used it every single time those damned cheerleaders were around. every time, there was venom laced in her voice. she didn't just hate them, she loathed them entirely.

but as soon as the venomous words slipped from her mouth, there was a sound of honey laughter that invaded her ears. "hi, dina!" there you stood, a sweet smile attached to your lips as you passed the three. you had two maybe three folders tucked in your arms, light purples and pinks with your name in big writing. y/n l/n.

"hi, y/n." it was merely a greeting in passing but ellie's blood boiled. her eyes fell on your outfit. your cheerleader outfit. the outfit was black and white, long sleeved but tight, showing off all of your curves and giving you all the attention that you didn't want. your skirt was short, too short, flimsy material showing ellie all that she shouldn't see. you had a light pink bow sitting at the top of your half up half down ponytail, curled hair falling behind your back. the colour of the bow matched your cheer leading shoes which were white but had pink stripes through them along with your baby pink leg warmers. you were the only cheerleader with a bit of colour.

you left ellie's sight as soon as you came, she turned to dina with a look of poison in her eye. "what? are you guys friends now? you gonna join the cheer squad?"

jesse took a step back, muttering something about not getting involved. he was well aware of what happened last time. ellie's wrath was not something you wanted to get involved with. "no, ellie, i'm not going to join the cheer squad." dina was rolling her eyes over the stupid encounter. "she happens to sit next to me in biology and i was saying hello."

"yeah, to y/n fucking l/n." everyone knew who you were, the prissy cheerleader who always wore smiles for everyone she met. often times being tucked under the arm of the captain of the girl's soccer team, abby anderson.

dina wasn't having it. "she's never actually said anything to you, ellie, she's never even been there when it happened and i'm sure if she was, she'd say something about it. she's really nice once you give her a shot."

ellie could have laughed in dina's face. "you're kidding." she was a cheerleader. "they're the same, every single one of them." and could you blame the girl for being so defensive? after all, it was her that got the horrid bullying and harrasment for so many years, not dina, not jesse, ellie. they didn't know what it was like to be in that ring of fire, they hadn't the slightest idea. "you know what, fuck this, i'm going to class."

dina was rolling her eyes. "ellie!" but the girl didn't turn around, holding her bag and her sketchbook close. "ellie, c'mon, don't be like this!" but she never spared her a glance.

jesse puffed out a breath. "just leave her." he mumbled to the girl next to him. "she'll be back."

and she was back. she was back before lunchtime. you see, that was the thing about having little to no friends. for ellie, dina and jesse, it didn't matter what was going on. whether dina was arguing with ellie, whether jesse and ellie were in a scuffle, whether dina and jesse were on their hundredth break. truth was, they only really had eachother. so, no matter what was happening, their lunch times were spent together at their separate round table in the cafeteria.

ellie was picking at her food when she saw her again. when she saw you.

you were walking up to their table sort of nervously, toying with your sleeves. ellie's expression immediately faltered. "is she walking over here?" dina and jesse looked up, glancing to you who had so many eyes on you. ellie could see the table of jocks and cheerleaders all staring at you, they simply couldn't take their eyes away. "she better not be fucking walking over here, she's not sitting―"

"ellie." dina whispered harshly as she shoved her foot forward, hitting ellie square in the calf. she winced, holding in the pained cringe.

"uhm, hi." you glanced back to the group of cheerleaders that were all staring. sometimes, you wished to be invisible, it was like there were always people watching. you felt like an actor on a stage and constantly having an audience. "dina, i was wondering if i could talk to you."

when you'd uttered the words, you sort of assumed dina would get up and walk with you. at least you hoped she would. you got the feeling that her friend didn't like you, the death stares she was throwing you, the glares that were burning into your head. not that you understood, though, you didn't even know her name.

"yeah, sure." she shoved to the side, allowing room for you to sit down. you awkwardly looked at the spot between her and her brunette friend wearing a black hat. the girl had looked away since you brought yourself over to the table. "guys this is y/n." she introduced as if they hadn't known who you were anyway. "y/n, this is jesse." he gave a smile to you to which you couldn't help but smile back softly. "and... ellie." she didn't lift her head. "ellie." she kicked her underneath the table once more.

ellie lifted her eyes, sending a glare your way before turning her head back down. you frowned but kept quiet. you didn't understand why the girl didn't like you but who were you to judge, you can't change how someone feels about you. besides, she didn't know you, you still had time to get her to warm up to you. perhaps she was like that with everyone.

in a way, she was.

"I was wondering if i could borrow your biology notes again over the weekend?" you had hopeful eyes, a little sympathy in them. "i'm sorry, i know i've asked like three weeks in a row now, i just really need to get this done." you had been attempting to rewrite all of your notes since the start of the year, you had realised how much you'd fallen behind in biology after you took cheerleading a bit too seriously.

dina waved you off, a big smile stretched on her lips. "yeah, no worries, you can drop by saturday?"

you grinned up at the girl. "yeah, i'll swing by after practice." practice. ellie could feel another eye roll coming on. "thank you so much." you began getting up from your seat next to the girls.

there wasn't much room, your leg brushed against ellie. you expected her to retract with a hiss as if you'd burned her, as if you were carrying a plague. instead, she froze. she didn't look disgusted, nor did she look happy, she didn't look much of... anything. she just froze.

in ellie's mind, she was cursing herself. if another pretty girl had brushed up against her, she would have smirked and leaned into it. she was cursing herself because she almost had. for a second, she forgot who you were. she forgot that the only reason she could feel the smooth skin of your leg was because of that stupid uniform.

"it was nice meeting you both." you smiled, mostly to ellie. you thought if you showed off your pearly whites she may see that you mean no harm.

when she didn't look up again, you sighed before leaving. what was so wrong with you that the girl hated you so much?

𝜗𝜚

ellie didn't need a fucking math tutor.

that's what she'd been telling herself for the past thirty minutes. she had been in her car, a rusted up van given to her by joel, passed down onto her. mr. gray had told her that she was flunking math and with the grades she was getting, if she kept them up he'd have to choice but to hold her back.

she couldn't risk that. so, he got her a tutor. at first, she got angry, stating that there was no need, she didn't need a tutor. she'd figure something out by herself. maybe jesse or dina could help her? but the man assured her that even they were only a mere average. he'd arranged a date for the first tutoring session at the local coffee shop, he stated that the tutor was the smartest kid he had ever taught. at least in math.

when she heard that you were her tutor, she downright flipped out.

yet, here she was in her van, stuffing the text books that lay on the seat back into the bag and opening the door. she couldn't afford to stay back, she'd have to make it work.

even if that meant you becoming her tutor.

she could imagine it now. you'd run thirty minutes late and be sat in the front of a fancy car, a porsche or something and you'd sit her in the darkest corner of the coffee shop.

yet, as she walked in, ten minutes early, you were already sat there. you were clad in a light jeans and a large woollen sweater, an off white, kind of brown. it was odd not seeing you in that uniform of yours. ellie awkwardly found herself ordering a coffee, her eyes drifting off to you. you had a couple text books open, notebooks too with a glass sitting next to you, pink straw peeking out.

"uh, hi." the sound of her voice caused you to jump before turning around to see her, smiling softly. she did not return the smile, sitting herself down at the booth you were in. right next to the window, the place that received the most light in the entire coffee shop. "you're early." she commented, mumbling beneath her breath a "probably cause of the porsche."

at the sound of your honey laugh, she looked up. your smile was wide and you shook your head. "no, i took my bike." you nodded outside the window to the little turquoise bike that sat in front of the cafe, little basket sitting in the front. "left the porsche in my garage." the sound of the joke nearly had ellie's lips curling upwards. nearly. she stopped herself. "uhm, we don't have to start just yet, you know, cause we're both early."

ellie barely muttered out an "alright." before setting her books on the table.

"what're you drinking?" you questioned quizzically.

"huh?" she glanced to the coffee cup next to her.

you shrugged your shoulders. "I think you can tell a lot from a person by what they drink. mine's a frappe, no coffee." your smile was a little lopsided. "makes me too hyper. what about you?"

"coffee." she deadpanned. "black."

"that's nice." you shuffled around awkwardly at a failed attempt of soothing down your own embarrassment. "you come here often?"

"look." ellie wasn't in the mood for your chit-chat, or anyone's for that matter. but you just so happened to be the one sitting in front of her at that given moment. "we don't need to do this whole small talk thing, i'm here 'cause i'm flunking math not because i'm trying to have it on with abby anderson's little girlfriend."

your brows furrowed, a little taken aback. "I'm not her girlfriend." you mumbled. "let's just get started, then." and so you pushed the chunky text book her way.

a couple moments passed you by. it was almost complete silence as you looked over the sums ellie had done. she was strumming the pencil against the table and waiting for you to finish. when you did, you wore a sloppy grin. "you got 'em all right." you spoke, pride in your voice. "well done, they were really hard." they weren't hard, ellie knew that. they were the basic sums, the easy ones that would soon lead into all the algebra she could never understand. but you were trying. really trying.

you gave her a couple more on the next chapter, awaiting her finish as you read through your own notes. she noted the fact that you didn't take out your phone to flick through your messages, or sigh loudly looking at the clock. there wasn't any rush or pressure.

she felt her insides twist a little. perhaps she was being a bit harsh earlier. "every saturday." she mumbled catching your attention, you hummed in question. "every saturday at one o clock, i come here... to draw."

your eyes lit up a little. "you draw?" ellie's heart stuttered. you didn't know? if you didn't know she drew then could it be possible that you hadn't heard the stephanie meadows situation at all? could dina have been right when she said that you truly were different?

"uh, yeah." she murmured, too busy thinking over the situation. what was happening? "yeah, i draw."

by the end of the session, you'd learned not much more about ellie other than the fact that she really did need this tutoring. perhaps it was a good thing she had been paired with you and not someone else. you knew that if you were working with ellie, patience was required.

you were walking out the door together when the bell dinged slightly, you had to go one way to get to your bike, she had to go the other to get to her car. "ellie?" she turned, hands in her pockets and satchel sitting on her shoulder. "could i get your number?" her brows pinched together and you almost slapped yourself for the way her face scrunched up. "don't look too excited, i mean for the next tutoring session, mr. gray isn't gonna set up any more for us."

"uh, yeah." she fished into her back pocket, grabbing out a pen. "do you have a piece of paper?" You merely shoved your sleeve up, handing her your arm. she looked at you quizzingly before scribbling down the digits onto your arm. "Just... delete it after."

you pressed your lips into a thin line. "wasn't planning on keeping it."

𝜗𝜚

ellie was fucking furious.

her feet were practically stomping up the driveway of dina woodwards house as she shoved her fist against the door, harshly pounding on it.

a confused and concerned dina met her eyes soon after, she opened the door and the girl allowed herself in. "them fucking cheerleaders, dina! i'm gonna kill them! i'm gonna fucking kill them!"

"wha― ellie-" dina had seen ellie angry like this countless times, always mouthing on about those cheerleaders and how they're dead if they do something again. she never did stand up for herself.

"you know and you're the one who told me she was different!" dina looked at her with confusion laced in her eyes. "she's just another one of those fucking cunts! fuck the cheerleaders, they're all the fucking same! she's nothing but a bitch―"

"ellie!" dina had cut the girl off. ellie turned around to see you. you were standing with the biology notebook in hand while a gear bag was slung across your shoulder, dressed in your cheerleaders outfit from head to toe. the mere sight of you, of the clothes reminded ellie exactly why she hated you. all of you.

"you." she gave a sneer to the girl. "you told them where i was, didn't you?" you backed up, giving dina a confused and scared look. what was she talking about? "you told them i'd be at the fucking coffee shop and did you see what they did to my fucking car?!" outside the living room window you could see ellie's van pulled up, covered in some kind of a liquid. milk? yoghurt? coffee?

"I d-didn't―" you were backing away from ellie, confused and hurt. had she really thought you'd be behind something like that. "who―"

"who is it ever? stephanie fucking meadows, you're just like her. you know, i actually thought you might have some human decency but i was right, behind all that fucking prissiness, all the smiles and high fucking ponytails, you're all just a carbon copy of each other." you were staring at her in disbelief. "I told you i go there every saturday at one o clock, who shows up? i know you fucking told her!"

"I didn't!" was your feeble argument.

"yes you fucking did!" ellie's hands had come to the top of your arms, shoving you slightly. but she was much stronger than you were, you stumbled back lightly.

"ellie!" dina was grabbing ellie's own upper arm, dragging her away from you. "are you fucking insane?" ellie's pupils were blown wide. "if she said she didn't do it, then she didn't fucking do it, okay?"

"I'm, uhm―" your eyes looked elsewhere. "I'm gonna go, thanks dina." and you were fleeing the scene.

not seconds later did the front door burst open again, jesse running in panting. "ellie, i am so sorry." ellie and dina looked at him in confusion. "stephanie told me that if i didn't tell her where you were, she was gonna revoke my place on the soccer team and you know the coach is her dad. I didn't have any other choice."

dina was glaring at ellie, a sick look in her face. "looks like you owe someone an apology, doesn't it."

ellie was breathing through her nose.

shit.

𝜗𝜚

ellie was standing at your front door, wrapping her knuckles against it. she had this look on her face making it plain obvious that this was not something she wanted to be doing. you had your location on your phone which is the only reason ellie was able to see where you lived. and how were you going to feel when the girl that just laid hands on you showed up at your front door?

the door opened to reveal you, now dressed in a shorts and tank top. you looked at her expectingly. "uhm, yes?" she didn't miss the way you practically hid yourself behind the door.

she glanced at her own dirtied converse trying to piece together what she was going to say. "i know you didn't tell stephanie where i was." and then there was the mumble of, "I'm sorry."

you blinked at her. "you are?" you got the feeling that sorry wasn't something ellie williams said a lot. and it wasn't, the words were barely even in her vocabulary. yet here she was, apologising on your doorstep, to a cheerleader. you had the effect of making her do a lot of things she couldn't see herself doing.

"yeah." kicking one of the pebbles on the ground. "I am. i shouldn't have yelled at you and i especially shouldn't have laid hands on you." god, what had she been thinking? it was as if she was looking to start a fight with you. with you. ellie had been in a multitude of fights before. but you? nothing but a sunflower.

"It's okay." you pressed your lips into a thin line. you watched as ellie's head snapped upward. it was? "they shouldn't have done what they did to you. you were upset, i get it." you knew stephanie could be a lot of work, you were shocked when ellie had told you but at the same time, you weren't necessarily surprised.

"yeah but i took it out on you." and she shouldn't have, she really shouldn't have.

you shrugged your shoulders, a small smile stretched to your cheeks. "happens to the best of us." but ellie was sure, cheerleader or not, you were an angel in disguise.

she could have walked away then and there, she could have told you that she was thankful for your forgiveness and left. that was the plan, anyway. to leave, she didn't think she'd end up sticking around much longer. she didn't think you'd forgive her in the first place. but then she saw that pretty smile on your face, the way you didn't look at her all disgusted and scared, the look everyone else had been giving her her entire life. it was almost like you looked at her and she meant something. this is what urged the next words to leave her mouth.

"do you wanna go get ice cream?"

sitting in the back of an ice cream parlor with ellie williams was not on your saturday to do list and yet here you were, licking your vanilla ice cream. "i can't go back." the girl uttered. she'd gotten chocolate ice cream and given you a weird look, stating that you were nothing short of 'basic'. "that coffee shop was my place." she groaned, putting her head in her hands. "this is shit." the situation, she meant, the icecream was amazing.

you were squirming on your chair, wondering if you should speak your mind or keep it contained. fuck it. "you know, if you wanted..." her head looked up at you, all nervous and shy. "we could maybe come here on saturdays, you could draw, if you wanted and i could do like homework or something." you blew the air from your cheeks. "that way if someone comes in they won't give you a hard time 'cause you're with me. not that i'll tell anyone we're here."

ellie couldn't help the way her lips tugged upwards. she was staring.

"what?" you let out a breathy laugh.

she shook her head. "you're just not at all what i thought you were."

and that was how it began.

every saturday ended in you and ellie sitting in that ice cream parlor. usually, it began after practice so you were still dressed in your cheer uniform, it ended when the sky was dark and the ice cream place was closing.

you began spending an awful lot of time with ellie. sitting with her and her friends at lunch or even inviting her over some days that it was too cold or too rainy for the ice cream parlor. in doing this, you sort of pulled away from that whole 'clique' that you were in. you couldn't of been happier.

that led to now.

it was one of the days in the summer that was sort of cold so you and ellie decided against ice cream. she was sat across your bed on her stomach, doodling little things into that sketchbook of hers. "els?" she hummed, not looking up. you had called her the nickname accidentally one day but it sort of just stuck after that. "can i ask you something?"

she groaned slightly as she closed her book. "you know i hate it when you start all vague like that." you had been skipping your way over to the bed seeing as you were sitting at your desk beforehand, trying to focus on biology. oh, how you hated the subject.

you sat yourself down next to her, giving her those doey eyes. this couldn't be anything good. "I know, i'm sorry." you mumbled sheepishly. "and i know it's not exactly your thing but i was wondering if maybe you'd... you don't have to i just― if you'd like― would you want to maybe..."

ellie had to chuckle at your nervousness. you were so squeamish and shy at times. she wondered what other times you acted like this. squirmy and struggling for words. "spit it out, angel." those silly names had started a couple weeks ago when ellie 'accidently' said one just to see your reaction. but when your face turned beat red, she couldn't help but continue.

you sighed, placing your hands in your lap. "so, the last game is on saturday and you know, i'm kinda required to go and i obviously wanna spend time with you to so i was wondering if you maybe wanted to go?" scratching the back of your neck. "if they win, abby's hosting some after party at hers and you could bring dina and jesse? not that i'd leave you alone―"

ellie cut you off. "y/n." you were looking at her with those saucer eyes. "if you want me to go, i'm already there."

your lips curved up and a huge grin fell on your face. "oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!!" you slung your arms around her neck, hugging her close.

you were too close. she could feel all of you, the parts she wanted to the most. she ignored it, squeezing her eyes shut as she melted into the hug. if she had it her way, she'd be doing whatever she pleased with you. but the situation was delicate right now, she needed you to warm up to her completely. then, she'd make her move.

𝜗𝜚

ellie regretted saying yes to your offer. she hadn't regretted watching you jump around in that cheerleading outfit, giving her almost a full display of your ass. she hadn't regretted the way you looked at her every time the cheering slowed or you lost focus. there wasn't an inch of regret in her bones when you threw your arms around her at the end when the women's soccer team won their game, your body squishing against her own so she could feel everything. what she did regret though, was coming to this stupid party.

ellie was no stranger to parties, in fact she sort of liked them at times. she always found herself strung across a couch, joint sitting between her fingers.

parties usually relaxed her, allowed her to live on the edge a little.

but right now? her glare was enough to send someone six feet under.

it started out okay, with dina and jesse by her side, you excitedly clinging to her like a puppy. she liked that, the fact that you were so attached. then, as always, dina and jesse go find themselves a room. you stayed with ellie, sitting up on the couch with your knees bent, still in your little cheer costume. she'd offered you the joint to which your face scrunched up, declining the offer politely.

then abby anderson called you up.

now, ellie had sort of anticipated this. captain of the football team, captain of the cheer squad. it made sense. abby was doing her stupid speech that had ellie rolling her eyes, and smoking the joint. leave it to abby to make a party boring.

suddenly, you were under her arm.

you hadn't even been paying attention when abby grabbed you, holding your shoulder close. your eyes instantly flickered to ellie who didn't look nearly as happy as she had with you by her side. her jaw was clenched, hand fisted and eyes narrowed in on you. she brought the joint to her lips again, eyes never leaving yours as she blew the smoke out. she caught on to the way you gulped and looked away.

dare she say, she saw your thighs squeeze together.

when you returned to your seat, ellie wouldn't so much as look at you. you took this as it being time for you both to head home. ellie stated that she would drive you, as she had been the one driving here. you told her you didn't think it was so much of a good idea, she was definitely high.

but the look she turned to give you was enough to have you shrinking back, shutting your mouth.

when you got into the car, sitting in the passenger seat with your hands sitting in your lap, you couldn't help but turn your own eyes towards ellie's whose knuckles were turning white due to how hard she was holding onto the steering wheel. "els?" she didn't so much as hum your way. "are you okay?"

"'m fine." was her deadpanned response.

had you made her mad? was this all over abby? why would it be? could she be... jealous? there was no way in hell. you knew you liked ellie, that much for sure but there was no possibility of her liking you back, you knew this. you'd been so wrapped up in your own thinking that you almost missed the way she had missed the turn off to your house. "els, you missed the turn." craining your head to look at the turn as if it was going to come back.

"I know." she stated, voice still icy cold. "i'm bringing you to mine." joel was out tonight, ellie knew this meaning there was no way in hell this man would be home before two pm the following day.

when ellie opened up the big brown door for you, it occurred to you that you'd never actually been in the house. you glanced around as you felt a cold hand on the small of your back. ellie lead you towards what you assumed was her bedroom. you glanced up, she still hadn't looked at you, her eyes strained straight forward. you stopped walking causing the girl to finally snap her eyes down towards you. you moved to step in front of her. "ellie, are you sure you're okay, i―"

ellie cut you off by her lips crashing into your own.

you didn't have time to think, melting into the kiss. the girl shoved the door behind you open, keeping you in her arms as she led you inside, leaving her foot kick the door closed. she made sure you didn't fall over until your foot hit the edge of your bed where she guided your back onto her sheets.

your head was spinning, the feeling of her rough lips on yours was enough to have you weak at the knees, a feeling pooling in your panties. but you were also confused. when ellie pulled away for air, eyes viewing you and your puffy lips, you took this as your chance. "ellie, wha―"

but she cut you off with a low groan. "just stop talking." and suddenly her lips were on yours again. her hand travelled down underneath you, hands coming up to squeeze at your ass. you whimpered into her mouth, the noise going straight down to her cunt. she held back a grunt as her hand moved to your stomach, flipping up your skirt and letting her fingers travel down further. they trailed up your thighs until they found your clothed cunt, sopping and wet. "f-fuck." ellie stuttered out, she'd expected it to be a little wet, sure, but she had this kind of an effect on you? "you're ruining your cheerleaders outfit, angel." you couldn't contain yourself, hips bucking and a whine falling from your lips. holy shit. ellie wasn't going to be able to contain herself, she'd end up creaming in her pants. "get on your knees."

your big blown out eyes found her own lowly red ones. "what?" nervousness eating at your stomach.

ellie took note of the little worry laced in your eye, she knew you better than you knew yourself. "get on your knees f'me, baby." pressing a little kiss against your neck. but she realised she had been just a little too soft. "now." she spoke, sternly.

you did as you were told, eyes never leaving ellie's as you positoned yourself on the ground underneath her, slight confusion lacing your eyes, mostly excitement. your knees scratched against her old carpet, eyes doey and looking up with enlarged pupils.

ellie bent down, her legs spread in front of you as she tilted your chin up, kissing you roughly. you could feel the hunger in the kiss. "don't like abby looking at you, touching you." you could hear the venom in her voice, her tone changing as if poison had been sat underneath her tongue. "touching what's mine."

you shook your head, eyes wide. "ellie it wasn't like that, she was told to―"

"shh." ellie didn't want to hear it, she especially didn't want to keep talking about abby, not when she had a pretty cheerleader sitting on her knees for her. "jus' say you're sorry 'n put your mouth where it's useful, yeah?"

ellie grabbed your hands, guiding them up to her hips so she could stick your two thumbs down the waistband of both her jeans and her boxers. "'m sorry, els, 'm really sorry." eyes almost watery. ellie helped you pull her jeans and boxers down her legs, letting them pile around her ankles, not caring enough to take them off completely.

"then show me." she spoke, voice a mere mumble, she was trying to stay in control but it was so hard when you were so close to her core. "c'mon, you know what to do."

your hands had sat at her thighs, keeping you propped up as you mouth came close to where she needed you. you looked up at her, then back down to her sopping cunt. breathing out lowly, your breath fell onto her causing her hips to buck. your tongue peeked out of your mouth before you leaned forward, pressing a kitten lick to her cunt. she let out a grunt letting you know that she liked it, with a little confidence you did it again, and again, and again.

you heard a low chuckle through her grunts from above you. "y'so cute." she mumbled, her hand falling into your hair as she tugged it closer. you moaned against her causing vibrations throughout her body. "s-shit." she found herself bucking her hips into your mouth.

you found your tongue moving against her quickly, practically making out with her cunt as your tongue dipped itself into her hole. you didn't really know what you were doing, you were doing what you hoped was right and by the grunts and curses that were falling from her lips, something had to be good. tongue dancing in circles around her clit making her chant your name as she held onto your roots, tugging you impossibly closer.

you sucked at her clit, it caused her entire body to move. "fuck, baby, jus' like that." she bucked her hips into your face, grinding down on it. it was as if she were face fucking you, the thought didn't seem so bad. "shit, don't stop." mumbling things you weren't even paying attention to. your hips were grinding against nothing, searching for release as your tongue worked against the girl.

ellie felt euphoric. she'd dreamt of this very moment a thousand times over, you with your mouth on her. she couldn't contain herself any longer, she knew that if you kept your pace up she was going to cum.

she couldn't. not yet. not before you.

she had so much more planned.

she hadn't even registered the fact that she was pulling you up before she was practically throwing you onto the bed. her big hands messed with the plush of your hips, squishing the fat of your ass as she turned you over so your face was buried in the sheets. "did i do something wrong?" you mumbled with fear in your tone, practically muffled into her sheets.

"no, bunny, you did so well." her mouth pressed kisses against the back of your thighs. she held your ass in the air while your face was practically squished against the pillows. "too well." wet hot and sloppy kisses all against your skin. "wanna have my fun with you now." her fingers moved to your covered cunt, rubbing up and down gently, a moan fell from your lips. "feel good, hm?" she moved to sit up on her knees, towering over you as she played with your pussy from over the cloth. she leaned over you. "tell me what you want." but you merely bucked your hips back. she stopped you by pressing her hands firmly on your waist. "tell me what you want or you wont get anything."

you whimpered desperately. "ellie." the sound of her voice on your lips was enough to have her going completely mad. "need your fingers." the mumble was low and pathetic, embarrassment flooding your cheeks.

she didn't move from her position. slowly, she trailed her hand back down to where your sopping cunt lay. she pulled the fabric of your cheerleaders outfit and your panties away from your pussy, sliding them across your ass as her fingers gently rubbed at your now bare cunt. "this what you want?" your hips were rolling against her fingers, eyes rolling to the back of your head and incoherent mumbles falling from your lips. you didn't answer, too caught up in your own euphoria. "god, you're fucking pathetic." and nodded your head too, agreeing with her as she drew tight little circles around your clit.

you could have came by the mere stimulation of her fingers against your clit but you wanted all of her. "inside." you mumbled through your whining. "please, els."

she was rather enjoying herself too, pressing kisses on the back of your neck. "you can beg better than that." she had full faith that you could. your whining never stopped as you threw your head into the pillows, much too embarrassed. "listen to me." her mouth falling near your ear. "be a good slut and beg for my fingers or you're not getting anything."

and the way her voice sounded and the way her fingers felt never stopping their attack on your clit. how could you not? “please els, please need it so bad.” grinding your hips down on her moving fingers. “please, i’ll be good, promise i’ll be good, please ellie.”

“good girl.” ellie cooed into your ear, a smirk on her lips. she stuck two fingers inside you without warning, pumping them in and out of your dripping hole. “see? wasn’t so hard was it? ‘n now you got what you wanted.” pressing kisses against your shoulders as she continued her assault on your dripping pussy.

you babbled and whined, whimpered and begged as you felt her fingers completely undo you. they were pumping in and out of you consistently as she soaked in your every whimper, your every noise as you babbled into the sheets. even you were unaware of what you were trying to say, all you knew was that noises fell from your lips and they seemed like good ones. “ellie!” you were almost screaming her name in a chant. “‘m gonna, i can’t―”

“i know, sweetgirl.” cooing at you again. “can’t hold it?” you shook your head over and over, your hole tightening around her two fingers that plunged right back into you. “mm, let go, pretty. be a good girl ‘n cum all over my fingers.” and that was exactly what you did. 

she felt you tighten around her, completely sucking in her two fingers as you gushed around her, wet and sloppily as you came undone. she kept moving her fingers, allowing you to ride it out as she pumped in and out of you, gently now that she knew you were sensitive. when you collapsed onto the bed, fucked out and tired, she finally let her fingers exit your little hole.

her eyes couldn’t help but be strained to your face, cheeks pink and eyes slightly droopy. you looked completely fucked out and she was the cause of it. pride melted inside her as she grabbed your knee, flipping you around to look up at her with those doey eyes again, pupils wide.

she wasn’t entirely done with you yet.

“can you give me another?” you weren’t responding, babbling something as she reached down to untie your little costume. she slipped it off you with ease, smirking at the fact that you hadn’t been wearing a bra. “yeah?” to your constant babbling, not a clue in her head of what you were trying to say. “know you can, pretty girl.” reaching up to grab the top of her jumper, sliding it off and tossing it somewhere across the room.

you were gawking at her, not a drip of shame inside you. eyes wide as you stared. she understood for she had been staring just as much as you had. eyes drawn to your chest as her hands came down to kneed your tits, fingers slipping over your nipple causing a moan to fall from you, arching your back up on the bed.

she just had to have her cunt on yours. 

she quickly climbed atop you, watching your face that never moved, you were waiting in anticipation for what she was going to do next. when she lowered herself onto your cunt, you couldn’t help but whimper out. even when your pussy was all sensitive, you couldn’t help but grind your hips upwards. the best part? she hadn’t even started moving yet.

“fuck.” she breathed out, feeling your clit rub against hers. “jus’ slow down, alright?” chuckling at your nodding. “gonna give you what you wan’t. jus’ gotta… jus’ need to…” but she cut herself off, unable to keep talking as her eyes rolled, a moan falling from her lips. the way you rolled your hips against hers, the way her clit bumped off your own, she couldn’t keep up.

her hands moved to sit up against you, she needed to take some sort of control. she moved upright, grinding her hips down to meet yours. her movements were much quicker than yours, a little desperate as she felt your clit constantly on hers. she couldn’t help the low groan that fell from her lips. “els!” you were a moaning, blabbering mess, back arched against the bed and eyes screwed shut. “feels so good, els, feels―” cutting yourself off with yet another whine.

ellie’s eyes were on yours, watching as your face twisted and contorted in pleasure. It drove her to hump her hips quicker, bouncing and bumping clit to clit. “good girl.” her own breath shaking. “takin’ it so well, my good girl.” 

the way the words fell from your lips had your stomach twisting in knots for the second time that evening. this time, you could barely hold yourself. “ellie!” you couldn’t even get the words out, all you could feel and see was pleasure, all you could think was ellie.

ellie knew what you were trying to say, merely grunting as she found her own stomach pooling with that feeling. “yeah?” her head in your neck as she moved her hips against you so quickly, grinding down so fast, you could see stars. “you gonna cum all over me?” there was a higher pitch to her tone, you could tell she was so close, as close as you were. “gonna cum all over me like the little slut you are, hm? my slut.” 

that was all you needed.

when ellie felt it, she found her hips stuttering against you. the sputtering of liquid against her, coming from your pussy. her eyes glanced down to see you squirting all over her cunt, hips chasing you as the liquid spurted, hitting her and travelling down to your stomach. the whining and the whimpering in her ear didn’t stop.

watching you squirt all over her could only make her come as close as you had. her stomach knots unravelled as she came, her hands holding your own tightly. you both grinded against each other as you came down from your highs.  

when ellie finished, watching as your legs shook, she collapsed to the other side of you, chest heaving up and down, her eyes glancing to you who was looking at the ceiling in pure shock. she couldn’t help the way her lips curved completely upwards, the biggest shit eating grin on her face.

she had fucked the cheerleader.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

#queer #ellie williams angst #ellie #williams #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams smut #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams oneshot #lesbian #the last of us #tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us x reader #ellie williams drabble #ellie drabble #ellie tlou #ellie williams tlou #tlou x reader #tlou x y/n #ellie williams x y/n #tlou fluff #tlou angst #tlou imagine #tlou oneshot #gay #lgbtq

[bubbles0bop]

Hiii! Can we have some Inumaki, Hakari and Nanami bf headcanons? + Anyone you'd like OFC!! :3

Relationship headcanons with the JJK Men

Includes: Nanami, Hakari, Inumaki, Choso

I like this one, you have good taste. Anddd i did take some liberty of adding choso because i've been feeling like writing him as well

Disclaimers: strong language, no gender specified, mention of smoking

Nanami

He's the type of boyfriend that will be spoiling you goddamn rotten

every month is a new bouquet of flowers trimmed and set in a vase on the kitchen counter

same with gifts. you'll come home to see the outfit you liked at the mall but couldn't afford, probably wrapped nicely in a black box

he's very thoughtful and meticulous, especially with dates

he'll plan for a while and make sure it's something you'll love

since he works such terrible hours, he really likes his quality time so he expects to come home to you and do nothing but cuddle or maybe do something like read together

this is random but i feel like he would be a massive critique for no reason

like "sweetie did you notice how tangy this loaf of bread tastes? do you think we should go back there next time?"

or when you're watching a movie it's not uncommon for him to say something like "ugh, this is so unrealistic, she would never fall for that type of trick."

I also think he would accidentally be really into it if you guys watched a kdrama together

Hakari

he's the type of guy that would say "wear what you want, i can fight." period.

he loves to talk- a professional yapper, if you will- but you love it

he talks your ear off about his hobbies (gambling) and some stupid people he may have had to deal with that day

he's pretty nonchalant in general and doesn't try to stress a lot over trivial stuff which means fights wouldn't last long

i get kind of a vibe that he would smoke some herb from time to time but he wouldn't shove it in your face if you don't want him to

he would love to share a coffee with you in the morning, and would probably order you both breakfast

i feel like with dates he's totally going to go with the flow but he loves new things so there's always something for you guys to do together, whether it's movies, or clubs.

Inumaki

your time together can sometimes be... quiet. 😭

i imagine that he's big on physical touch and doesn't care much about PDA (but he won't go too far)

i think his top two love languages are physical touch and acts of service

he's the type of guy that would become your personal nurse if you are sick or get your period

he's also the type where if you were chilling on your phone or reading a book he would do it with you, enjoying some peaceful silence

the jjk fan book mentions that he likes to do Youtube which brings the thought of what would he do on there if he can't exactly talk like the average person?

i'd say he makes cooking videos or posts the pranks that Panda and him do to their friends

he loves to eat with you, it's your thing. he would cook or bring you out to restaurants so you guys could rate the food

you, of course, have also learned his 2nd language over time and unlike megumi, you sometimes respond just like Inumaki does

Choso

honestly if i were to guess, i think he would show his partner love by telling them. very directly.

He's not too much of a cuddler but he'll do it immediately upon your request

He has a dry sense of humor, so dry that no one really knows if it's a joke or not

i think he is more outwardly protective of you than most- so if he catches anyone staring he'll yell at them to 'fuck off!'

I also don't think he would hold his opinions back just to make people happy so if you ask, "how do you think i look in this?" he'll say exactly how he feels- not really in an a insulting way, ever-more truthfully than hurtfully.

he likes to do things that you enjoy, like shopping and he'll help you pick out outfits

he, himself, would probably suggest dates that are calm and intimate, like picnic dates, stargazing, and maybe going out for smoothies/boba

i feel like he would love to try boba after you tell him about it, because he likes sweet things over bitter (like coffee)

i could imagine him being the type to grab your waist from behind while you're busy doing anything

he also really craves your attention when you aren't near him, even if he doesn't say that.

#nanami kento #jjk nanami #nanami x reader #nanami fluff #nanami headcanons #hakari kinji #jjk hakari #hakari x reader #hakari jjk #inumaki toge #inumaki x reader #jjk inumaki #inumaki x you #inumaki fluff #inumaki headcanons #hakari headcanons #jjk choso #choso x reader #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso x you #choso x y/n #c #jujutsu nanami #nanami x you #jujutsu kaisen nanami #jjk #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk headcanons #jjk fluff

[thetriumphantpanda]

Scandal-Hit Princess

One Day I'll Fly Away - Chapter One

Chapter Summary | A scandal-hit Princess, ink barely dried on the divorce papers and a lone rancher with no interest in the inevitable media storm following her meet for the first time - it’s a recipe for disaster, right?

Word Count | 2.6K

Pairing | Joel Miller x Princess F!Reader

Chapter Warnings | foul language, descriptions and mentions of divorce and infidelity, Joel being a rancher and kinda aloof and unbothered, mentions of body image issues and stress, mentions of the British royal family, no-outbreak AU, no use of y/n, smut in future chapters but nothing else at this point.

Authors Note | Well, here she is - Miss Scandal is ready to meet you all! This has been such a labour of love for me already and I cannot tell you how excited I am to bring you this story. It’s different, but I love it, and I hope you will too! As always, thank you to @undercoverpena and @hellishjoel who have been on the receiving end of so much shouting and screaming about this! Please, if you do enjoy this, consider leaving a comment or reblogging - I will love you all forever! And you can support me further by donating to my Kofi account if you want to.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Kofi | Series Playlist

Rage is the only thing you really feel anymore. The feeling of betrayal, that’s gone. The feeling of sadness at losing the life you had, that’s also gone.The only thing that remains is the rage, bubbling slowly under your skin. You’ve been sitting in it for six months now, sitting with the injustice of it all, how someone had taken one singular conversation and flipped it on its head. The more you think about it, the more you can understand the conclusion everyone had come to, especially when the man wearing the crown had spun the story to suit him, his family, and his fucking son. Traitors, the fucking lot of them.

It hadn’t always been bad. You wouldn’t have said yes to the wedding if it had, regardless of how big the ring had been. He’d been sweet, charming, and despite the fact that your family came from money, he’d given you a life you could only have dreamed of. Sure, the endless flying around the world to shake a few hands and stand for a few photos, tilt your head down and look placid when you talked to anyone, took flowers from children and gripped the arms of people in distress, that all got tiring, but the fairytale had been all worth it really, until it hadn’t.

When the papers became more interested in who made your clothes, or the fact that the colour you’d worn didn’t suit you, or worse, sent some kind of subliminal message, or why the angle of the camera made you look pregnant when you weren’t, or how there must have been an argument between you and your husband because you hadn’t looked at him for the entire time you’d been at the ballet one time. When the focus shifted from what you were trying to do - shine a light on suffering or simply cheer people up by your presence, to trying to find fault in every single thing you ever did, that’s when you started to wonder whether it was all worth it.

Then came the control. The rules. Don’t eat that. Don’t wear that. Don’t paint your nails that colour. Don’t say this. Don’t stand like that. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. And it never seemed to matter how much good you did, how many initiatives you visited or how many sick people’s bedsides you sat next to , someone always had something to pick on. You could be the strongest person on earth, but the more someone picks away, the harder it gets to be yourself. But then, that’s what they wanted wasn’t it? Take the ideal woman on paper and grind her down until she was the ideal woman in real life - someone who kept her real thoughts to herself, behaved properly and didn’t rock the boat.

It strikes you now, in the solitude of this hotel room, that by trying to mould you into that person, you became the very thing they were terrified of all along. Someone who didn’t just rock the boat, but well and truly capsized it. It’s something of a comfort really, sat in this room like a prison, a nice and comfortable prison, but a prison none-the-less, that all it took was one woman who’d had enough to start tearing the family down from the inside. And it’s not like you’d really tried that hard to do it anyway - it hadn’t even been your intention. It just so happened that you’d been at the wrong place at the wrong time and someone had twisted your words - and his - to mean something they absolutely were not. If it hadn't been for what it had cost you, a one way ticket to the middle of nowhere and a reputation in tatters, you might find all this quite funny, but alas, there was nothing about this exile - or rather banishment - that was funny rot you right now.

You slam the magazine you’ve been trying to read down on your lap in frustration. The heat in this place is fucking stifling. Who the fuck suggested Texas as a good idea? Sure, it’s a world away from where you’d just come from, and for now, the press, obsessed with you since day one, hadn’t quite figured out where you were yet, but it was only a matter of time really. Someone would tip them off for a hefty sum, poor Nancy and her hotel would be swarmed and it would be up and on to the next place to try and lie low. You’re bored and bored is dangerous.

You swing your legs over the edge of the bed, stretching out your back before you stand, slip your shoes on and open the door. You look up and down the hall, quiet, no sign of Rob, head of the security detail you’d been given following your divorce. It would have been nice of them if it hadn’t been a way to keep an eye on you. You knew Rob was giving updates to the people back at home.

You lightly pad down the hallway once the door to your room is closed, taking the steps down to the reception quickly, stepping on your tiptoes until your hand traces over the front reception desk, Nancy immediately looking up from her papers.

“Your Highness.” Has become the greeting, with a slight curtsey, it’s wrong, but it doesn’t really matter anymore does it?

“Can I get you anything?”

You smile at her, leaning your elbows on the reception desk, cheek resting on one of your palms.

“Well, Nancy, I’d love some of those peaches from a few days ago, do you still have any?”

You watch as her expression drops, her skin tone draining like she’d made the biggest faux pas possible.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” She gasps, “You liked ‘em so much we used ‘em all making dessert for tonight.”

“Sounds delicious,” You smile, big and broad, charming, “What are we having?”

“My famous peach pie,” Nancy taps the side of her nose, “My mama’s recipe.”

“With ice cream?” You ask, adding a wink at the end.

“Anything for you,” Then she adds, “I can send out for more peaches if you’d like them.”

You think for a moment, because they really are delicious, especially warmed from the sun where they’ve just been freshly picked, “Where do you get them?”

“Oh, at the Miller ranch, it’s a little way out of town, but he’s famous for them.”

“You know, I might go and get them myself.”

Joel Miller scoffs into his coffee as his eyes scan the front page of the newspaper. Scandal-hit Princess in USA. He knew she was here. The town was abuzz with gossip that Nancy, owner of the nicest, fanciest hotel in town, was hosting her. Cleared out the entire top floor of rooms just for her. Restaurant closed whenever she wanted to eat. Someone had driven up to his ranch three days ago, asked for a boxes of peaches for her. Her favourite fruit apparently. He’d handed them over without much thought, asked for the usual price and then found himself with a very generous tip, folded into the back pocket of his jeans. He looks at the grainy photograph on the front page, taken through the window of the hotel, Princess sitting pretty, head down looking at the table. The photo is grainy, definitely not the best paparazzi work he’s seen splashed across the front page, but it’s enough to see her hand on the back of her neck and the hunch of her shoulders, trying to make herself look smaller than she is.

It’s a far cry from the woman he’d seen on the TV two years ago. It had been madness in his mind, that the entire world had ground to a halt to watch two people get married. Sarah had insisted that they all sit and watch it together, and he had thought Ellie would have his back, but she was just as enthralled watching her walk down the aisle. Weirdly, he remembers the dress, the white tulle, short lace sleeves, something sparkly peppered through the material, catching the light when she walks. But what he remembers more than anything, is her smile. The way she beamed when she was handed over, hand slipped into her soon-to-be husbands. It’s strange that divorce touches everyone, and no matter how big you smile, it’s always hiding something under the surface.

He looks briefly to his watch, realising he’s late for feeding and those sheep are going to give him hell if he doesn’t feed them soon. He downs the rest of his coffee, shoves the newspaper into the recycling box, he doesn’t really read it anyway, even when the news isn’t splashed from cover to cover with gossip about what that damn princess did or didn’t do, so he’s definitely not going to indulge it now, and then he’s out into the truck and heading down to the barn to stock up on feed.

It’s a strange world to him, this ranch life. For as long as he could remember he’s wanted to do it. Maybe it’s the solitude it offers him, the way he can finally think for himself after years of raising his daughters. Maybe it’s the way that unlike his daughters, his flock of sheep tend to do what they’re told, unless it’s this morning and he’s twenty minutes late to feed them, then they’d gather around his legs, bleating senselessly until he drops their feed onto the ground to appease them. What he really thinks is that it gives him a purpose. He grows fruit, peaches mainly, but a few other crops, that he gives to Nancy down at the hotel, or offers to Steven who owns the bakery, fruit that feeds his community. He shears his sheep, gives their wool to Betty and Ines to make clothes with. Sat out here, on the fringes of town, with more land and space than he knows what to do with, an empty house no longer filled with his daughters, this place gives him a reason to get up each morning. They all need him in some small way.

Once he’s finished with his morning chores - feeding the sheep, plucking the ripe peaches from his trees into crates, fixing up some of the fences that a few of the more boisterous sheep had knocked over and serviced the small tractor in the barn - he jumps back in his truck, the warm Austin sun, blazing at midday, licking at his skin, bringing sweat beading across his body, and goes back to the house. He’s just stepping out of the truck, rubbing his dirty hands with a rag from his back pocket, wiping the sweat from the back of his neck, when he notices a car pulling in to the bottom of his driveway, driving slowly up to come to a stop at the front porch of his house.

As he rounds his truck, he can see that the car is nicer than anything he’s ever seen in town. Sleek black, clean as a whistle, windows dark so he can’t see into them. It sits idling on his driveway until he climbs the steps at the back of the house, rounds the porch and stands at the top of the steps, leaning against the side of the stairs, fingers looped in one of his belt loops.

The front passenger door opens and bulking man gets out, sunglasses over his eyes, black t-shirt and jeans and a bald head. He nods at Joel, one of those classic nods that men understand when they give each other, then he opens the back door wide. Joel sees one leg step out of the car, then another, long, loose-fitting white trousers, then the rest of the body comes into view. He can’t quite believe it when he realises the person standing in front of him, pushing her sunglasses onto her head so she can look right at him, is the same person from the front page of the newspaper. The People’s Princess herself.

“Joel Miller?” She asks, voice sweet, lilting, as she holds out her hand for him to shake when she’s stood close enough to him.

He looks down at her hand - perfectly manicured, soft, by the looks of things, never seen a day of work in their lives - then looks at his, bigger, covered in filth, hard and calloused, definitely not the kind of hand she wants to be shaking. He thinks this must be muscle memory for her, the only work she knows how to do is hold out her hand and talk nice to people.

“I gotta bow or somethin’?’

She smirks at him, drops her hand, “I don’t think that’s necessary these days.”

“Can I help you?”

“Well,” She starts, voice sweet and peppy enough to start to annoy him, “I’ve been eating these peaches since I got here, the sweetest, juiciest I’ve ever eaten, and we’ve run out,” She brings a foot up to rest on the bottom step, Joel immediately stepping forward to stop her coming any closer into his bubble, “And I’ve been told you grow them, is that right?”

“That’s right.”

“Well,” She tilts her head, “Might I buy some more?”

“How many d’ya want?”

“A crate, please, if you have enough to spare.”

Joel spins on his feet, takes heavy footsteps back around the house to his truck, picks up the crate of peaches he just picked, the one with the most fruit in it and makes his way back to the front of the house where the Princess is still waiting.

He offers her the crate, holding it out in his hands. He watches as she turns to the man who opened her door for her, nods her head towards the crate, watches as he takes it from Joel. She stands up on her tiptoes as the crate passes her, plucks one of the peaches from the top.

She looks at Joel, right in his eyes as she bites into the fruit, obscene slurping sound in the air as she sucks the juice into her mouth, bringing a finger up to catch the drops that fall onto her chin, making sure she doesn’t drip it onto her pristine white suit.

“How do you grow them to be so perfect?” She asks, taking another bite from her peach, teeth dragging through the delicate skin.

“Plenty of sun,” Joel shrugs, “Good soil.”

She hums, nods her head in agreement, “Well, thank you for these,” She turns back to the man who has just put the crate in the boot of the car, nodding at him, “I’m sure I’ll be back for more.”

The man offers Joel some money, enough for at least three crates of peaches, but he finds he doesn’t argue, takes it like he did the first lot, slips it into his back pocket. He doesn’t wait for the car to leave, just turns on his heel, heads into his home, praying that her promise to come back was an empty one - if there’s one thing that Joel needs less than a hole in the head right now, it’s a hoity Princess sniffing around.

#Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x female reader #Joel Miller x F!Reader #Joel Miller #Joel Miller smut #Joel Miller fic #Joel Miller fanfic #Joel Miller fanfiction #the last of us #the last of us hbo #tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us smut #tlou smut #Joel Miller tlou #Joel tlou #Joel Miller the last of us #ODIFA #Pedro pascal #Joel miller Pedro pascal

[antiendovents]

actually, since i already commented on your post about tulpas and how they pissed me off; im gonna do it again. in detail.

note: i am a former buddhist, i live in a buddhist country. (95% of thais are buddhists) and pretty much been surrounded by it. im asian. saying it before people jump at me because im terrified as shit

as i mentioned, tulpas are stolen and bastardized completely from a tribe of tibetan buddhists, and the practice itself isn't even a system thing. while thai buddhism and tibetan buddhism are different in their own way, i am very fucking pissed off that they just saw the concept of a thoughtform spirit that helps you meditate, overcome your fear and guide you to nirvana (because that's the main purpose of buddhism) and turn them into "oh! we make alters because we can due to our meditation and we're spiritual so that totally excuses using a generally closed practice! we're not harming anyone!" total bullshit.

i don't want (and sorry if i'm a bit mean) those bigoted fucks stealing basically my culture since im attached to buddhism in general, i grew up with it. and "tulpa systems" slapping it on themselves for the sake of being "unique". i have seen countless comments and posts about how its always the white/non asian people that say "no its not a closed practice, its not cultural appropriation :) actually you should be glad we're appreciating your culture in the first place" fuck off! appreciating culture is fine, but you bastardize it so much and dumb it down to just "making alters/imaginary friends" are you just hearing yourself? are you stupid? are you braindead? god, im getting so angry again.

i have also seen "tulpamancers" insulting actual asians like me who speak against tulpas, saying that we're just "asian token of a character" or that we're "closed minded" and should accept these assholes who dont know what theyre doing into my culture and blatantly disrespecting it, spitting on it and just taking one practice that fits their narrative. wow, talk about being appreciative while half of your community does shit like this to actual buddhists, huh? real nice of you. way to go, you cultural appropriating fucks. /vneg

i cannot count how many times asian culture is so whitewashed on the internet, people that just take our tradition and do whatever the hell they want with it, including making a system out of thoughtforms, which is not possible whatsoever. and for what? FOR WHAT? for your own sick entertainment and enjoyment of having a imaginary friend in your head? try dissociating so hard you cry yourself to sleep you absolute pillock. this is a very angry submission, but it just frustrates me so much. all of the insulting "yous" are directed towards "tulpamancers" that they proudly call themselves. by the way. sorry if it sounded like it was directed at you, im just so angry at the moment.

one last thing. Stop. Using. The Term. Tulpa. For your system. Please!!!!. tulpa systems are not a thing and will never be. End of story. Nothing will change that. Endos fuck off. im sick of your shit. thanks for reading my angry rant.

-azriel for the majority of this, rox/virus proofreading some of the parts, thanks for letting us vent ^^

i dont have much to add, please read this ^^

#important psa about tuplas #no you can't be a tupla system #fuck off #endos dni #tupla systems dni #anti endo #did #did system #plural #actually did #alters #system #endos fuck off #did osdd

[alvojake]

The Summoning | K.SN

「paring」 : demon!sunoo x fem!virgin!reader 「word count」 : 10k

「synopsis」 : sometimes you can't even trust your friends or you'll be tied down to an altar as a sacrifice for a demon, but what if this demon offered a deal in exchange for your life?

「genre」 : suggestive/smut(not fully), dark romance, supernatural au, dark, horror/thriller, angst, slight crack, maybe a tinge of fluff??

「warnings」 : blood, demon ritual, the reader is being used as a sacrifice, cursing, cult activities, murder, sunoo is MEAN, talk of corruption, mind reading, threats, manipulation, mentions of partying and drinking, choking, petnames (princess, slut, whore, sir...), degradation, teasing, marking, biting, possessive behavior, fingering, lmk if I missed anything!!

𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘 | 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝖓𝖊𝖝𝖙

When you walked out of your apartment hours earlier to hang out with your ‘friends’ you hadn’t expected to be drugged and tied down to an altar. Yet here you were, hands and legs bound tightly by ropes as they dumped some kind of liquid all over your body. Your eyes were screwed shut trying to keep any of it from getting in them. 

Just when you thought they were done you felt more cascading down your face causing your breath to hitch in your throat, heart pounding in your chest. Your eyes opened slowly when you felt the last of it drop onto your skin only for panic to override your senses when you realized what it was they just poured all over you.

Blood…

Your stomach turned, feeling like you were about to be sick, tears stinging in the corner of your eyes. Looking up you met the eyes of two of your so-called friends, no longer in their casual attire but now dressed in a black robe, the hood pulled over their heads.

“Why are you guys doing this? I didn’t do anything wrong!” You cried out, tears finally spilling down your cheeks, “please we can talk about this!” Pleas spewed from your lips, but the words fell on deaf ears.

“Gag her.” Someone instructed one of the younger males that stood closest to you. You continued to let out small cries of ‘please’ hoping that they would let you go. The sharp sting that bloomed on your cheek as your head jerked to the side stopped your incessant pleas before a head roughly grabbed your hair, yanking your head back.

“Shut the fuck up.” He growled before grabbing the cloth that someone was handing him, harshly tying it around your mouth, successfully muffling your cries. 

As you tired to look around the dimly lit room you cursed yourself for not taking your mother’s words to heart. Maybe you really did trust too easily, but that's how you’ve always been, you always wanted to give people the benefit of the doubt. Letting them prove themselves instead of your listening to others words, which in some cases you really should have listened. No matter how many times you have had your trust broken you just never seemed to learn, so maybe, just maybe if you had finally listened to your mom, then maybe you wouldn’t be in this situation right now. No you’d be back home in your cozy little apartment probably watching some lousy show curled up on the couch with your roommate.

Instead you laid here, tied to an altar for some unknown reason, covered head to toe in blood and listening to some kind of mantra you didn’t understand. Sobs started to rack your body, tears rushing down your cheek washing away some of the blood. Thrashing against your restraints you cursed yourself for being so stupid, but you also cursed the people you called your friends for tricking you. Rage started to trickle into your mind as your movements became more violent, curses falling from your lips only to be muffled by the gag. 

Just then a strong gust of wind swept the room, blowing all of the candles out and all of your movements stopped. Fear embarrassing your mind once more as you frantically looked around trying to figure out what was happening. 

The chanting that once filled the room was gone, leaving an eerie silence. You felt uneasy, unsure of the weird feeling you could feel creep up your spine. 

What in the world was going on? You were in a closed off room. There was no way in hell that a gust of wind that strong could get in. Yet here you are, in complete darkness, your eyes having a hard time adjusting.

“Did it work?” You heard one of the girls ask off to your right causing your head to whip in her direction ready to ask what was going on despite the gag in your mouth. However, the sudden pressure of something, or someone, breaks you out of your thoughts, your body going rigid. Your eyes slowly moved back to see what it was.

Glowing red eyes welcomed your gaze and a scream erupted from your lungs, tugging on your restraints once more. When the candles around you relit you were finally able to see just who it was that was on top of your body. Through your teary vision you could make out a male, his hair a dark red, his skin was pale and were those horns? 

Sunoo looked down at you, amusement gleaming in his dark orbs relishing in the look of pure terror that painted your pretty face. His head tilted to the side, a small smirk tugging on his lips at the sight of the tears that still flowed from your eyes. Your eyes never left his as he studied your features, the way your eyes were bloodshot due to crying, how even under the gag he could see your bottom lip trembling.

Movement in the corner of his eye reminded him that there were still others in the room. His lip twitched as he saw them all bow around the altar. 

“Oh, great one-” “Get out.” Sunoo’s voice was cold as he kept his gaze on you, watching as your eyes grew wide realizing that he was trying to get you alone. A few of those around the room looked up, confused by Sunoo’s words.

One of the guys stood to his feet, meeting Sunoo’s dark gaze that had fallen on him, “but we-'' In a blink of an eye the weight on top of you was gone and Sunoo stood in front of the male, hand plunged deep in his chest. You watched in horror as he coughed, blood spilling from his lips, eyes looking at the redhead in shock.

With a swift movement Sunoo retracted his hand, pulling the heart out of the male’s chest. Eyes glowing red once more as he looked over his shoulder. “I hate repeating myself.” He hissed as the body in front of him dropped dead. Everyone around you scrambled to their feet with screams, rushing to get out of the room. You watched in horror calling for one of them to help you heart pound against your ribcage making you feel lightheaded. Thanks to the cloth over your mouth all of your words came out muffled as you continued to sob.

Sunoo looked down at the still beating heart in his hand, the organ slowly dying in his palm as it realized that it was no longer able to do its job. With a click of his tongue he tossed it off to the side before turning back to you, his gaze falling on you once more.

The severity of your situation finally weighed down on you as he walked towards you, why were you fighting anyways? It’s not like you were magically going to get out of your restraints and there was no knight in shining armor to save you, so why are you still fighting? 

Sunoo watched in curiosity as you slowly stopped fighting against your restraint, silent sobs fell from your lips, eyes screwed shut. “Aww did you really just accept your fate? Where’s the fun in that?” He pouted as he traced a finger along the side of your face before hooking it around the cloth in your mouth, pulling it down. Your eyes snapped open meeting his ruby red orbs, why would he just suddenly-

“Because you’re an interesting creature.” He answered your question as if he just read your thoughts, making your eyes go wide.

“Did you-” “Just read your mind? Yes.” Sunoo cut you off as he tilted his head once more, taking in your features now that there weren’t any interruptions in the room. He watched as your chest rose and fell rapidly with each breath you took, hearing your heart beating crazily under your ribs.

Now you see normally Sunoo wasn’t one to waste any time with his sacrifices, becoming too annoyed with their incessant whining too quickly. He would just kill them swiftly, though he always stopped to watch the way the life drained from their eyes as he ripped their hearts out much like he did earlier. He would then take their souls back with him to the underworld and call it a day, but there was something about you. Something that drew him in, making him want to know more, wanting to figure out what this pull was.

“Are you going to kill me?” Your voice came out quiet and hoarse from all of the screaming and crying. It still brought Sunoo out of his thoughts, his eyes flickering up to meet yours. You watch him with glossy eyes, his gaze making you feel very overwhelmed especially since he wasn’t saying a word. Without so much as a sound he raised his hand, snapping his finger releasing your limbs from their restraints. Tilting your head back you realized that the ropes had disappeared, your gaze then fell back on his unsure for the first time in your life if you could trust him or not.

Your heart nearly stopped in your chest when his hand grabbed your face roughly, leaning in dangerously close. Close enough that you could feel his warm breath fanning your face, his eyes flashing red causing your breath to hitch in your throat. 

Sunoo smirked sadistically as he watched your eyes go wide, meeting his own, “I won’t kill you. On one condition.” He looked into your eyes, seeing the way that you silently pleaded with him. A rush of excitement rushed up his spine knowing that he was finally going to have a little bit of fun. To be frank he was growing tired of the same old tedious loop that he was constantly stuck in, he wanted something different. Something fun. Something new. 

The little part of his job was that he was able to know just about anything he wanted about his sacrifices just by looking at them. They were all virgins, the purest form of souls and boy did his kind love the taste of them, but Sunoo? It was far too bland for him, no he wanted something more sinful. Then just like that the wheels started turning in his mind, he’d probably get his ass chewed out by the higher ups, but he couldn’t give two shits, not when he was finally gonna get something he longed for.

He made it his mission to take your sweet little innocent soul and tarnish it. Corrupted you until you were anything but pure, then he’d make his final move. He’d kill you, taking your soul back with him as a trophy of his achievements. 

Sunoo knew how naive and clueless you were so he really didn’t have any worries about you agreeing. He was going to use one of your weakest points to her greatest advantage. So his grip tightened on your jaw causing a small whimper to leave your lips.

“I’ll let you live if, and only if, you agree to follow my every command.” He mused, taking in the way your eyebrows scrunched together. 

“That’s it?” You asked, confused, but Sunoo knew as soon as those words left your sweet, plump lips that he’d have you right in the palm of his hand.

“That’s it.” He confirmed, nodding his head before letting go of your face allowing you to sit up. The redhead watched as you tried to piece together his words in your head. Was that all he really wanted? Was for you to listen to him? How could that possibly be? But the moment that you met his eyes he knew what conclusion you had come to.

“Okay… I’ll do it.” He couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride fill his chest as those words fell from your mouth as you tried to wipe the tears from your face, only to smear blood in the process.

A devilish smile spread across his face which you mistook for a simple smile and with a snap of his fingers a paper scroll appeared out of thin air, surprising you. Where had it come from? Ignoring your confused expression he laid the paper in front of you, watching as the contract wrote itself. However, you were far too busy trying to figure out how he made it appear to see the ink filling the page.

“Alright then princess, all you need to do is sign.” He instructed you, snapping you out of your daze and you quickly skimmed over the paper seeing that it pretty much said what Sunoo had already told you. By the time you got to the bottom of the page you realized that you didn’t have a pen to sign with.

Meekly you looked over at Sunoo and he just waved the quill pen in his hand before holding his other hand out. Confused, you looked at his hand before meeting his gaze once more. “Give me your hand.” His voice made you shiver before slowly and carefully placing your hand in his. In quick movements he pricked the tip of your finger with the pen earning a yelp from you as you ripped your hand away from him, looking at him with wide eyes.

“What was that for?” You questioned as you cradled your hand to your chest, eyes watching as he rolled his. 

“You’ll need to sign it with your blood.” He told you like it was something you should have already known. With a small pout you took the pen from his hand and quickly signed your name on the bottom line of the page. A smirk tugged on Sunoo’s lips as he watched how quickly you pretty much signed your freedom away, all because you thought ‘what is the worst he could do?’ The answer to that was that he could very easily make your like a living dream or your worst fucking nightmare.

Once you were finished you quickly handed the scroll back to the red-haired male, looking at him expectantly. He took a step away from you, giving you a smile, “Then I’ll see you later princess.” Just then another gust of wind swept the room causing you to close your eyes.

When you opened your eyes once more you found yourself back in your bedroom, sitting in bed as if nothing had just happened. Was it all really just a dream? Your eyebrows scrunched together, bringing your hand up to caress your forehead, but stopped when you saw the red and purple skin on your wrist.

You knew it wasn’t a dream, that you really just made a deal with the devil himself. Slowly removing the blanket from your body you let your legs dangle over the edge, still trying to wrap your head around what had just happened. 

Walking into the bathroom you made your way over to the sink not even bothering to turn the lights on. Turning the tap on you hoped that maybe washing your face with some cold water would make you feel better, but even as you rubbed the white soap studs on your face questions still infiltrated your brain. When you go done you quickly dry your face before walking out of the bathroom, towards your bedroom door.Peeking your head out you took note of just how quiet the house was. Jungwon must be asleep by now so you decided against better judgment that you wouldn’t wake him up. Shutting the door once more you walked over to your bed, laying face down first hoping that sleep would help clear your mind, except… it didn’t. If anything you were left staring at your ceiling all night lost in your thoughts.

Jungwon stood in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in one hand, his phone in the other. The sound of dragging feet caused him to look up only to find you walking in. A yawn escaped your lips as you rubbed your eyes, your hair was an absolute mess. Pieces were sticking up while others stuck to your forehead, it quite frankly looked like you just walked out of a tornado. He stifled a laugh with his coffee causing you to look up at him with a pointed look.

“Shut up, I didn’t get much sleep last night.” A groan slipped from your lips as you massaged the crease in your forehead. He smirked while wiggling his eyebrows, causing you to raise yours, “you’re weird.”

“I’m weird? You’re the one that was out for god who knows how long.” Jungwon rolled his eyes and you stopped dead in your tracks, small clips of last night flashing in your mind. “Where were you anyways? You never showed up to that party.”

“I…” You trailed on not really sure what to tell him, not without sounding like a complete maniac. “I don’t remember actually.”

Jungwon looked at you with a skeptical gaze, spilling on his now lukewarm coffee, his nose scrunching. He knew you weren’t one to get drunk at a party, you were normally the driver for them. So for you to get so drunk that you completely forget everything that happened, was completely out of character seeing as you hated the feeling. 

“Everything okay?” He asked, causing you to hum as you walked to the cabinet with the cups in them. 

Everything from last night replayed in your head, from them tricking you into some abandoned church, to signing some contract with that guy. Was he even a guy? Then you remembered how they all probably thought you were dead. What was going to happen when you had to go back to class on Monday? And what about the deal you made? Was he really going to make you follow his every command?

Then you started to remember everything he did. He couldn’t be a human, there was no way in hell that he was, not with what he did. How could someone so easily stick their hand in another person's chest? Or what about you being back in your room, like nothing had happened?

“Did you get drunk enough to get a tattoo?” Jungwon snickered, pulling you from your thoughts. 

You looked over at him with wide eyes, confused. “What?” 

Jungwon just shook his head, a small smirk forming on his lips as he pointed to his chest right under his collarbone. You don’t have tattoos, they weren’t ever a thought in your mind either so with rushed movements you sat your cup down before making your way into the entrance hall where you had a mirror hanging.

Once you saw your reflection your eyes went to the spot that your roommate had pointed out. There right underneath your collarbone was a tattoo, upon closer inspection you could tell that they were words. However, you couldn’t quite make out what it was saying because it seemed to be in a different language that you definitely didn’t understand.

Running your fingers over it you felt a chill go down your spine, the skin was completely smooth not a single sign of irritation. Which meant that it had to have been there a while, but that couldn’t be the case seeing as you have never seen this before just now. Where could this have come from? Did it happen last night?

You had gotten so lost in your thoughts that you completely missed Jungwon teasing you about how you’d probably have to get it covered up. The dark-haired male mistook your confusion for panic, seeing as if your parents found out they’d have your head served on a silver platter, but your parents were the last thing on your mind at the moment. Your fingertips were still rubbing the skin when you noticed the skin getting warmer, eyebrows scrunched together.

“Hey are you still going out to eat with us before the party tonight?” Jungwon asked, remembering that Jake and Sunghoon were going to be over later, though his words fell on deaf ears. Concerned he pushed himself off of the doorframe and walked over to you, were you really that concerned about a tattoo? He walked over to you and placed his hand on your shoulder, but quickly backed away when you jumped and swung your hand at him.

You both stood in shocked silence, staring at each other with wide eyes. Never once had you reacted like that and Jungwon no longer thought that it was the tattoo, he started to wonder what really happened last night. 

You try to regulate your sporadic heart before running your shaky fingers through your hair, “I’m just going to stay home.” Then you walked around the male not giving him a chance to say a word.

Jungwon just stood there confused as he watched you disappear into your room, the door shutting softly. He had never seen you so jumpy before nor has he seen you so out of it like you just were. Though he figured that something must have happened last night, he wasn’t going to press you for information so he just decided to leave it.

He just shrugged his shoulders before pulling his phone out letting the guys know that you wouldn’t be going before walking off to his room planning on getting some homework done before the guys showed up.

You had spent the majority of the day in your room trying anything and everything to get your mind off of what had happened last night and the strange mark on your chest. You tried to read, but everything seemed to remind you of that mysterious man. Tried working on homework, but kept messing up on all of the problems so you gave up. Tried to listen to music, but it never seemed to be loud enough to drown out the thoughts.

With a groan you just flopped on your bed staring at the ceiling trying to piece everything together, but then you heard your phone vibrate on your nightstand. Your body froze, you had completely forgotten about the device. 

What if they already figured out that you weren’t dead? They wouldn’t try to kill you would they? 

A chill went down your spine at the thought, but you knew you’d have to face them sooner or later. However, much to your relief when you opened your phone you just saw that it was the boys in the group chat.

Letting out a huff you threw your phone off to the side not even bothering to check the plethora of other notifications that you had. You figured that you would just cook dinner for yourself then watch a movie or something until Jungwon got back.

So that's what you did, you got up and made your way into the kitchen searching through the fridge and pantry for something to cook. Remembering that you still have a few packs of your favorite ramen left you opened the cabinet they were normally in. Only that they weren’t there, just the empty packaging.

You then heard footsteps in the hall so you quickly peeked your head around the corner seeing Jungwon slipping his shoes on.

“Hey Won.” The sickly sweet tone in your voice sent a chill down his spine as he slowly turned to look at you with a nervous smile, “Tell Jake that he owes me ramen or he’s a dead man the next time I see him, ‘kay?”

The poor boy just quickly nodded his head before telling you bye and walking out of the door. If there was one thing that Jungwon knew better than to mess with was your ramen, now Jake on the other hand had a bad habit of eating her stash and not replacing it.

So the first words out of Jungwon’s mouth when he got into the car were, “You’re a dead man, Sim Jaeyun.”

Jake turned around in the passenger seat to look back at the younger male, confused by what he meant, until Jungwon explained that he needed to stop eating your ramen if he wasn’t going to buy more. Jake swore up and down that he was going to buy more before literally blowing your phone up with apologies and pleads to not strangle him. Which of course went unnoticed by you because you had left your phone in your bedroom.

It had to be way past midnight and you were still perched on the couch with a bowl of popcorn at your side while you watched yet another movie. Thankfully after about two movies your mind started to calm down and you were finally able to distract yourself. You put a few more pieces of popcorn in your mouth after mumbling something that had happened on the screen.

Your body went rigid when you felt fingers brush along your jaw before grabbing your face. Sunoo smirks at your reaction before leaning down enough to have his lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

“Are you not cold?” His breath against your skin sent a shiver down your spine, you recognized his voice almost immediately.

His grip on your face loosened a bit allowing you to turn your head to meet his chocolate orbs, however, the words died on your tongue. Your eyes searched for him, for what? You weren’t entirely sure, but unlike the first time you met him you were scared. Scared wouldn’t even come close to it. No you were intrigued. Intrigued by what he was, what he does, how he speaks, how he sounds, how he smells, how he tastes. 

Your whole body shivered at the thoughts that raced through your mind and Sunoo’s smirk widened as he listened to each and every one of them. He chuckled and the sound left your brain fuzzy.

A small squeak of surprise left your lips as Sunoo’s ring-clad fingers wrapped around your throat, squeezing softly. “I bet you enjoy walking around like a little slut, don’t you?” His voice dropped a lower octave as you tried your best to not let any sounds escape your lips. “Walking around half naked and letting your roommate see, you love the attention.”

A soft sigh fell from your lips as Sunoo’s free hand brushed over your exposed collarbone, moving down to the top of your breast that was exposed. You closed your eyes trying to ignore how hot his touches were making your body.

“H-He doesn’t care, we agreed-”

Sunoo’s grip tightened on your throat causing your breath to hitch, “Agreed on what exactly? Hmm? That you can walk around like a prostitute while he eye fucks you all day long only to go and rub one out in his room the moment he could?” A strangled cry fell from your lips as he harshly grabbed your boob in his hand. Sunoo smirked as he watched the way you were rubbing your thighs together, “I bet you even let him touch you huh, just like a little slut.”

You shook your head the best you could with his hand snuggly wrapped around your neck. A gasp then left your parted lips when he cupped your heat through your shorts. You bit your lip as he pressed harder into you feeling your slick soak through the layers of fabric.

“Do you enjoy being talked down to that much princess?” He chuckled as he ghosted his lips against your jaw, watching in amusement as your hip bucked into his hand when his finger pressed down on your clit. A moan escaped your lips when he pressed down on your hips, keeping you in place as he continued to rub your clit through your shorts. “You’re such a needy fucking brat.”

“Plea-” Your words caught in your throat as his hand tightened around your neck making you feel lightheaded. 

Sunoo watched you with a smug smirk, but he wasn’t fully satisfied. No, there was something he wanted to hear from your lips. Letting up on his pace he moved to your ear, eyes never leaving your body.

“Say my name slut,” His voice was rough as he bit down on the shell of your ear. You opened your mouth to tell him that you had no clue what his name was, but then it flashed in your mind as if you’ve known it for eternity.

“S-Sunoo.” Your eye nearly rolled to the back of your head when he picked up the pace of his fingers. Your whole body felt like it was on fire and your mind fogged over as you felt your high quickly approaching. And just like that it was gone.

A whine left your lips when he moved his hand away from your core, but his other hand stayed firmly around your throat. Sunoo’s warm breath fanned the side of your face causing a chill to go down your spine as you squirmed under him. His lips kissed your jaw softly before nipping at the skin right under your ear and a sweet moan left your lips.

“This is only the beginning princess, don’t get used to it.” Then with that he released his grip and moved away from your body. You quickly turned on the couch to ask him what he meant by that only to find yourself completely alone in the living room.

Letting out a frustrated huff you turn back around on the couch fixing your clothes trying to focus on the movie. Then the front door burst open scaring the shit out of you, nearly causing you to knock the popcorn off of the couch.

Jungwon stumbled through the front door with a very, very drunk Jake on his arm. He grumbled about how he ought to just leave him outside. When he walked into the living room he saw you sitting on the couch staring at him with wide eyes.

“You okay?” He asked you softly as he moved further into the room and you just nodded before looking over at the passed out boy next to Jungwon.

“I’m fine, but he doesn’t look too good.” You stifled a laugh as you watched Jungwon practically throw Jake down on the loveseat. Jake let out a pained grunt before laying his head back and falling asleep. 

“He’ll be fine, he’s lucky I didn’t just leave him there.” Jungwon rolled his eyes before grabbing two of the smaller throw blankets that were sitting on the shelf by the entrance, throwing one on Jake before walking over to you. “He’s a dumbass and forgot his house keys and his roommate is out of town until Thursday.” 

You giggled against your hand, because it’s not like it was a first time occurrence. Jake always seemed to get overly excited about things and always forgets something.

Jungwon couldn’t help but smile at the sound that left your lips as he sat down next to you. You shifted over a little bit before laying your head on his shoulder and he covered the both of you with the blanket.

“What were you watching?” He asked, causing you to look at the tv screen seeing the credit rolling. You hummed trying to remember but with everything that had just happened you completely forgot what you had put on.

“Uh, just some romcom.” You bit your lip as you reached for the remote hoping that that was what you had been watching. Thankfully that was exactly what you had been watching causing Jungwon to laugh.

“That’s a first, you're normally binging any of the horror movies you can while I’m gone.” He teased as you laid your head back down on his shoulder.

You shrugged, “I wanted something different.”

Jungwon just hummed as he laid his hand on your bare thigh causing your breath to hitch, the skin under his hand tingling. This wasn’t anything new between you two, you were known for being close with each other but never once did you feel like this when Jungwon did something like that. 

“You okay?” Jungwon asked, worry laced in his words as he looked over at you and you just quickly nodded. Without another word you found another movie and played it trying to ignore the feeling you were getting from the way Jungwon’s thumb rubbed your inner thigh, and how you wished it was Sunoo’s.

That next morning you had hoped that you could at least sleep in for a little bit before getting around before school the next day, but you were rudely awakened.

“Y/NNNIE wake up!” Jake’s voice paired with his body landing on you knocked you completely awake. A groan fell from your lips as you pushed his face away from you still smelling a hint of alcohol on his breath.

“God dammit Jake go brush your teeth!” You whined trying to get him off of you but he weighed a lot and you didn’t have the strength to push him off. So he just stayed there snuggled up to you and you groaned, “Won please!” You called out for your roommate only to hear him chuckle from the hall before walking away.

With a huff, you just gave up trying to get the older boy off of you and just laid there. Jake just smiled before lying there comfortably. That was until you pinched his shoulder, hard. 

“OUCH! What was that for?!” Jake whined as he sat up, off of your body. You just smirked before getting out of bed, grabbing your hoodie that was hanging on the back of your desk chair.

“There’s a list of reasons, but we’ll just go with the fact that you still owe me ramen.” You stifled a laugh watching as his face contorted in horror before he quickly ran out of your room. Scoffing, you rushed up to your door, peeking your head out, “You better come back with my ramen Sim Jaeyun!” 

You walked into the kitchen seeing Jake standing on the other side of the island with a nervous smile. Any step you took to walk closer to him, he would step away from you, becoming a game of cat and mouse.

“What if I told you I wasn’t the one that ate it?” Jake’s voice shook as he quickly dodged your outstretched arm, racing to the opposite side of the counter.

“Jake, I swear to god I will climb over this island.” You hissed, glaring at him and he just chuckled. However, as soon as you started climbing on the counter he let out a screech before taking off towards the living room.

“SHE’S GONNA KILL ME!” He cried out darting to hide behind the couch as you jumped off of the countertop. Stalking into the living room you could hear Jake begging you to forgive him and that he promises to get you more.

Though the moment that the room went silent Jake felt his nerves spike, carefully getting up, he peeked over the top of the couch but didn’t see you anywhere. Until he felt a sudden pressure on his back before he fell flat on the ground with a groan. You grabbed his arm before pulling it behind him until he cried out.

“Ow y/n that hurts!” He whined as he tried to wiggle out from underneath you, but every time that he moved you would pull more on his arm causing his movements to stop.

“Maybe next time you’ll think before you eat my food.” You grumbled as you sat fully on his back, keeping him in place.

Jungwon walked into the living room only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight, “What the fuck…?”

Jake lifted his head at the sound and smiled widely when he caught sight of the younger male. “Won, please help me.” He begged the dark-haired boy who just stood there with a raised eyebrow.“You got yourself into this mess and I’m definitely not going against her.” Jungwon pointed to you as you looked at Jake with a sinister smirk. He then turned and started walking away ignoring Jake’s cries for help. “How am I the youngest one here?”

“I guess there is supposed to be a new student,” Jungwon told you and he scrolled through his Instagram feed, stopping on a few of the girl’s posts to like them causing you to scrunch your nose.

“Anyone say who it was?” You took a sip of your coffee as you both walked into the classroom. It's damn near the end of the semester so why start so late? 

“Nope just that it was some guy.” Your roommate just shrugged his shoulders before you sat down at your shared table, dropping his bag to the side. Taking a seat, you set your coffee to the side only for Jungwon to snatch it and take a drink resulting in you giving him the world-class nastiest side-eye.

“You’re lucky you’re cute Won.” You grumbled as you pulled your laptop out of your backpack along with your notebook, getting everything ready for class. However, just as you were about to open your laptop a shadow cast over you causing you and Jungwon to look over.

Your face dropped when you realized who it was that was standing there, anger bubbling in your gut. Joonwoo stood there with a nervous smile, hands clasped in front of his body.

“Hey, y/n could we possibly talk after class?” He asked in hopes that he could work out some deal that wouldn’t result in you dying seeing as that’s what everyone else wanted. Though when you rolled your eyes and told him no he felt his heart drop.

“Y/n plea-” “What about no, do you not get Joonwoo?” You cut him off harshly looking at him with a raised eyebrow before leaning on the table, “Right, that’s a foreign word to you isn’t it?”

Jungwon almost choked on the coffee as he looked at you with wide eyes, had that been why you were so freaked out the other day? What did he do to you? Thoughts spiraled in Jungwon’s brain as he glared at the other male.

“Aww c’mon y/n don’t be like that, we just wanna talk.” Another more higher-pitched voice chimed in and you glared at Haeun as she walked up to the table, sitting on the edge. 

Your glare deepened when she started to mess with your papers so you snatched them out of her hand, “and I don’t wanna talk to people like you, so bye.” Your words caused both of their eyes to widen, they really thought that you would go. 

“Listen here-” “No you listen here Haeun.” You growled, standing and getting in her face, your voice low, “Unless you want the entirety of the university to know what you did and who you mess around with I suggest you leave me the fuck alone.” 

You may have always trusted so easily, but that didn’t mean that you were gonna allow those who wronged you back in. No, once that trust is broken, there is no fixing it.

“Yeah and what proof?” Haeun rolled her eyes, putting distance between the two of you and you just sat back down in your seat. Arms crossed over your chest you just smirked at her.

“I have my ways, trust me.” Though your voice was steady internally you started to panic a little, you had no idea how you were going to get any of the said proof. That’s when a familiar shade of red hair caught your attention.

There at the front of the classroom talking to the teacher, was Sunoo. Looking over he caught your eyes, a smirk playing on his lips. His eyes then flickered over to the two that were standing next to you and a look of disgust graced his feature making you giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Haeun asked bitterly, causing you to just look at her with a smug smile, you then pointed to the front of the room. Haeun rolled her eyes again making your eyes narrow wishing they’d get stuck in the back of her head, however, the satisfaction of seeing the horrified looks on their face was more than enough.

Sunoo’s glare was enough for Haeun to jump off of the table and drag Joonwoo away with her. You stifled a laugh as you watched them scurry away before looking over at Jungwon who was glaring in their direction. Your smile slowly faded as you realized that he heard the whole thing. Mentally cursing yourself you met his eyes when he looked back over at you.

“What the hell happened that night?” There was worry in his tone, but also a tinge of anger. You bit your lip as you tried your best to avoid his gaze, “y/n.”

“Can we talk about this later Won?” You gave him a pleading look not really wanting to talk about what happened in the middle of a classroom where anyone could hear you. Jungwon sighed before nodding and facing the front of the class where Sunoo was talking to the professor.

Now that you could actually get a good look at him you noticed that he wasn’t dressed anything like he had been those nights ago. He wore a pair of blue jeans and a white sweater which baffled you because it was late spring, how was he not hot? Another thing that threw you off was how sweet he was acting with the teacher. 

Sunoo could feel your eyes on him and even with all of the insistent chatter in the room all he could hear were your thoughts. A small smirk tugged on his lips as he listened to you lose yourself in thoughts of him. When the professor excused him after showing him his seat, Sunoo smiled sweetly before locking eyes with yours momentarily. His eyes flashed red quickly, but it was more than enough to have you squirming in your seat.

For the remainder of class the only thing on your mind was Sunoo and boy was the demon enjoying it. Listening to you fight your thoughts as you watch the way his hand grips his pencil, or when he intentionally rubs his shoulder before letting his fingers trace over his neck much like he had done to you the other night.

He had to bite his lip to suppress the smirk that was fighting to spread on his lips as he listened to the lewd thoughts that started to race through your mind the second you remembered what had happened Saturday night.

As soon as the bell rang you quickly gathered your stuff, shoving it in your backpack. Sunoo watched in amusement as you ushered your roommate out of the classroom, eyes flickering to meet his before you disappeared out of the room.

“A game of cat and mouse hmm?” Sunoo twirled his pencil on the tip of his finger, the skin growing warmer, “doesn’t she know she’ll lose?” His eyes flashed red as the pencil incinerated, turning to dust that blew around the room.

During your lunch break, you had decided that cafeteria food didn’t sound all too appealing and you really didn’t want to go home for a short amount of time just to have to turn around and come right back. So you went with your plan b and just grabbed something from the vending machine, the only problem? You couldn’t figure out which of the snacks you wanted.

“You always did really like the cookies.” The sudden voice caused you to jump before your head whipped around just to find Joonwoo standing there.

Rolling your eyes you turned back around, feeding your money into the machine. You clicked a few buttons before watching as a bag of chips fell to the bottom. Bending down you opened the small compartment and grabbed your snack out before standing straight, looking right at Joonwoo.

“Why do you keep bothering me Joonwoo?” You crossed your arms over your chest glaring at him, “Did you really think that I wouldn’t notice you following me around like some love-sick puppy?”

Joonwoo stood there with a nervous smile on his lips, his hand reaching around to scratch the back of his neck, eyes averting yours. He wasn’t even really sure what to tell you, nor what he should ask you. 

“About the other night-” “What about it? Don’t say some stupid shit like ‘Oh it was a mistake we definitely didn’t mean to tie you to an altar as a sacrifice for a demon’ because we both know that it wasn't a mistake.” Your tone was bitter, causing the boy to jump as his eyes went wide, though you weren’t quite done, “You know I had completely trusted you guys, you and Haeun were my first friends here besides Jungwon yet as soon as I got a little too comfortable you used me? So no I really don’t want to hear any of your bullshit okay? I just want you to leave me the hell alone, got it?”

Joonwoo stood there, his mouth opening and closing like a fish searching for water. He wasn’t really sure what to say at that point, because he was going to apologize and try to beg for your forgiveness. However, now it looks like that wasn’t going to be an option so he just decided to go with the next plan.

“You do know that the moment the others find out you're alive they’ll kill you?” His words sent a chill down your spine, of course, you knew that. You had expected it, but to be quite frank you didn’t feel a single bit of fear, why? You weren’t entirely sure.

“You nor your filthy followers won’t be laying a finger on her.” His voice sent a litter of goosebumps all across your skin as you felt his hand snake around your waist, holding your hip firmly.

Joonwoo’s eyes went wide as he looked at the demon that now stood protectively behind you, then down to you. Despite your racing heart, you kept a poker face with Joonwoo, raising an eyebrow at him.

“B-But we summoned you, you’re supposed to grace us.” The boy in front of you stammered, pointing his finger at the redhead.

Sunoo raised an eyebrow at the male, “First put that disgusting thing down before I rip it off.” His lips curled as he looked Joonwoo up and down before continuing. “Second, maybe you stupid mortals should have thought about who you were summoning.” Then in a blink of an eye, Sunoo stood in front of Joonwoo, his hand wrapped around his throat cutting his oxygen supply off. “I don’t play by the rules,” Sunoo smirked as he watched the boy struggle to breathe.

You couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride swell in your chest knowing that you had Sunoo right behind you, protecting you and oh boy did that excite you. Sunoo on the other hand was absolutely loving how naive you were, how easy it was to play with you, to bend you and before too long he’d have you shaped perfectly just for him.

However, you remembered that you were still in school and there were cameras everywhere and someone could possibly see what was going on.

“Sunoo, there’s cameras.” You warned him, shifting on your feet suddenly uncomfortable with the thought of being caught. The redhead, however, could care less about it and continued to choke out the poor boy who was pleading with his eyes. When you realized that he wasn’t letting go you rushed up to him, grabbing his bicep. “Sunoo let him go.” Your voice was low while you continued to try and spot the cameras.

Sunoo glanced over at you, catching the worry on your face as you looked around the area. With a roll of his eyes, he shoved Joonwoo away with a ‘tsk’.

“Get out of my sight, rat,” Sunoo growled and Joonwoo quickly scrambled to his feet and raced down the hall. He then turned towards you and that’s when you realized just how close you were to him and quickly backed away. Sunoo smirked at your reaction before his eyes flashed, sending a rush of heat through your body.

You could feel the heat pooling in your gut and cursed yourself for getting so turned on so easily. Something about him was starting to drive you insane and you needed to get away, quick. So without another thought, you started to walk away, narrowly dodging his outstretched hand.

“Where are you going princess?” He taunted you, but you could hear the annoyance in his tone.

Turning with a nervous smile you just pointed behind you with your thumb, “Gotta get to class, bye!” And with that, you quickly dashed down the hall trying to create as much distance as possible between the two of you, only breathing when you made it to your next class. Sitting down you placed a hand over your racing heart, taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it, “What the hell is wrong with me…?”

You had spent the rest of the day trying your best to avoid Sunoo in any way possible even if they meant you accidentally dragged Jungwon into the girl's bathroom. The poor boy was mortified when the girls inside started to freak out, quickly apologizing and rushing out. You couldn’t help but laugh as he dragged you down the hall to your next class.

“Won, I’m sorry.” You apologized between fits of laughter and he just gave you a nasty side-eye.

However, now that you were finally home after a long day at school then having to work a short shift at the game store. It was all very exhausting for no reason in particular. 

Stepping out of the shower you wrapped your towel around your body before walking over to the mirror, wiping the condensation off so you could see your reflection. Your eyes immediately went to the marking on your chest, fingers brushing over it softly.

You still had no idea what it said and it did bug you a little bit but you weren’t going to let yet another thing occupy your mind right now. So you quickly pushed it to the back burner and grabbed your underwear to slip it up your legs after drying your body off. Once your shirt was on you started using another towel to dry your hair off.

Humming to yourself you walked out of the bathroom, switching the lights off before walking into your room.

Sunoo laid on your bed one of your books in his hand mindlessly flipping through it until he heard the door shut. Looking up he watched as you walked further into the room, hands busy drying your hair. 

His eyes then trailed down the length of your body taking in the way that your tits sat under the thin fabric of your shirt and how your legs were on perfect display as the shirt hiked up.

Finally looking up a small scream left your lips before you smacked a hand over your mouth, your heart racing in your chest as you met Sunoo’s eyes.

“Y/n is everything okay?” Jungwon asked from the other side of the door, causing Sunoo to smirk. Part of him wanted the younger boy to walk in and find him on your bed, but the other, stronger, part of him wanted Jungwon completely out of the picture.

“Everything's fine, Won, it was just a bug.” You called out to him, moving your hands to your side in the process. Your eyes never left Sunoo’s even as he sat up on the bed, motioning for you to come.

Your heart wanted to move because you knew what he could do for you, but your brain kept you in place out of fear of what he could do to you. However, Sunoo grew annoyed rather quickly when you stayed put, your wide, doe eyes staring at him.

“Come, now.” He growled, his eyes turned that very ruby red that made you weak in the knees.

Slowly you made your way over to him, your lip trapped between your teeth as you bit on the sensitive skin. Though as soon as you were close enough Sunoo wrapped his hand around your arm pulling you onto the bed.

A gasp fell from your lips as your back hit the soft mattress. Sunoo hovered over you, his body pressed against yours. You could feel the heat rising up your neck, painting your face a deep shade of red. Sunoo leaned down, pressing his body more against yours and your breath hitched in your throat. His scent invaded your senses making your head spin, but when his lips brushed over your jaw you felt your brain malfunction.

“You remember our deal don’t you princess?” His tone held a warning and of course, you remembered the deal, it was the reason you were alive. However, it was still instilled in your brain that he wouldn’t actually mean every word. Oh how wrong you were.

His hand that was on your hip trailed up your waist before stopping right above the collar of your shirt. Hooking his finger under the fabric, pulling it down, and tracing his finger over your collarbone. Right over the marking.

“This right here is proof enough.” He pulled back and looked down at you as you stared back at him.

You swallowed thickly, “proof of what?”

He chuckled before latching his lips to your neck, biting down on the skin, “that you belong to me.”

A small moan escaped from your parted lips as his knee brushed against your core. You quickly bit your lip to muffle any other sounds as he continued to mark up your neck and the small part of your chest that was exposed.

Sunoo felt a sense of pride bloom in his chest at your little sounds, but he wanted to hear more. He wanted more, he wanted you to be loud, to scream his name, but most of all he wanted your roommate to know.

Sunoo wasn’t stupid, he knew that Jungwon liked you. Sunoo knew that the boy had longed to be with you but was always too scared to make the first move. He wanted Jungwon to know that he was too late, that you already found your place under someone, that the someone wasn’t him.

His hands found your hips pulling them down, pressing your core against his thigh. A mewl left your mouth as you grabbed his forearm. 

“Sunoo.” His name rolled off your tongue like butter. You wanted to push him away, scared that Jungwon would hear something and come to investigate, but the other part of you wanted to pull Sunoo closer and let him have his way with you.

The redhead smirked against your skin as he listened to your internal thoughts. Listening to how the lust slowly started to overtake your mind until you were completely consumed. 

You rolled your hips against his thigh trying to gain more friction as whines fell from your lip due to Sunoo’s assault on your neck. He bit down on your sweet spot causing your body to shiver and a moan relatively louder than the rest to tear from your lungs. He continued to abuse that spot until he was sure it was going to be the darkest one as you rutted your hips against him.

You whined when he moved his leg away from your body, but the sound was quickly caught in your throat when his hand moved down to press against your cunt.

“You’re so wet already, are all virgins this desperate?” He moved away from your neck to look at you, but as soon as his eyes met yours your hands flew up to cover your face. “Uh-uh, princess.” Sunoo removed his hand from your pussy before pulling your hands from your face, pinning them above your head. You stared at him with wide eyes, your bottom lip trembling as he smirked. “I want to see your pretty face while I make you go stupid with just my fingers.” 

Sunoo watched in amusement as your face turned a bright shade of red, but you just nodded your head. He chuckled before shaking his and leaning down closer to your face.

“Use your words, do you understand slut?” His gruff voice caused a small whimper to leave your lips and your body felt like it was on fire.

“Yes sir.” You weren’t sure what compelled you to say that, but by the sinister smirk on Sunoo’s face, you knew he liked it.

He let go of your hands and you left them lying by your head until his hand came in contact with your clothed core once more. A mewl fell from your lips as he pressed on your clit, your hands going to his shoulders.

Your head fell back with a moan as he slipped his fingers past your underwear, feeling your slick folds. He leaned down nipping at the newly exposed skin of your neck as he outlined your slit with his finger, collecting your slick before pressing down on your clit.

“Ah fuck!” You cried out a whole new sensation filling your body, sure you had touched yourself before but this was new, different. Your back arched off of the bed as he slipped a finger into your soaked hole. You bit down on your lip to muffle the sounds that threatened to leave and you balled Sunoo’s shirt into your fist.

“Such a dirty mouth, just like this little pussy of yours.” Sunoo smirked against your skin, picking up the pace of his fingers, “I’ve barely done anything and you’re already about to cum, what a filthy whore.”

His words burned in all of the good ways making your head feel fuzzy, however, when he added another finger you were sure you were about to combust. You were sure your lip was bleeding with how hard you were biting it to try and muffle your sweet sounds that Sunoo wanted to hear.

His lips brushed against your ear, his breath sending a shiver down your spine, “better stay quiet if you don’t want him to know what a little slut you are.” Sunoo sped up his movements, testing how much you could take before you’d actually break. A wide smirk spread across his lips when he brushed over your sweet spot causing you to clench around his fingers and a breathy moan finally leaving your now parted lips.

“Sir I wanna cum, please.” You whined out as your fingers dug into his shoulders.

Sunoo chuckled darkly before pumping his finger in and out of your pussy at a harsh pace. Lewd, wet sounds filled the room as you cried out weakly still trying to stay quiet. His fingers hitting your sweet spot had you almost toppling over the edge.

“Then cum princess,” That’s all it took before your jaw fell slack and your eyes rolled back a whine tearing through your throat. Sunoo wanted to burn the image in his head forever as he continued to pump his fingers into your sopping cunt.

He so badly wanted to torture you until you were begging him to fuck you, but he knew that he had all the time he needed. So he pulled his fingers away from your needy hole causing you to whine at the sudden empty feeling. 

You wanted to beg him to fuck you but you were also scared, you had never done anything like that before and it was horrifying. On the other hand, though it was also exciting because if it was going to be anything like you just felt now, you want it and more.

“Sunoo-” The redhead cut you off as he placed a kiss on the corner of your mouth leaving you to look at him with wide eyes.

“There’s no need to rush princess, we do have a lifetime after all.” He smirked but something was mincing about it that made your stomach turn. You opened your mouth to say something but the lights flickered and when you looked again, he was gone.

You groaned before flopping back on the bed, chest heaving with every breath as you stared blankly at the ceiling. Everything was going a hundred miles an hour in your head but the number one question you had for yourself was…

“What the hell did I get myself into?”

@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 : @heesitation @riftanswhore @luvyong2z @heeslut4life @fromkamal @mari-marimar @topichoon @strxwbloody @yeonzzzn @marimariiiiiiii @m3chigo @seoniwoo

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#alvojake writes ^^ #enhypen #enha #kpop #enha x reader #enha imagines #enhypen sunoo #enha sunoo #kim sunoo #kim sunoo smut #kim sunoo x reader #kim sunoo imagines #kim sunoo enhypen #sunoo #sunoo x reader #sunoo smut #enhypen jake #enhypen jay #enhypen heeseung #enha sunoo smut #enhypen sunoo smut #enhypen sunoo x reader #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #jake enhypen #jake sim #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #jungwon enhypen #enhypen x you

[darnell-la]

Knock you up.

word count: 2.2k

pairing: perv!delusional!Eddie Munson x innocent!bratty!reader

warning: CNC, hair pulling, choking, stalking, perving, angry/hard sex, whining, defenseless, mention of drugging reader, non-con-face cuming while sleeping, age gap, etc.

WE DO NOT CONSENT TO ANY COPIES OF OUR STORIES!

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3rd person pov

God knows Eddie is a sick bastard. Never a day in his life since 9th grade has he not jerked off to some random thought or woman. Usually, it would be y/n. The girl he’s been crushing on since she started high school.

Munson was a senior when y/n arrived at the school. She was the cutest little thing he’d ever seen. The way she dressed, the way she looked and all the way up to the way she acted was perfect to him.

She wasn’t a child, and she was pretty mature for her age. The only thing about her that makes Eddie a creep, is how innocent she looks.

Y/n seems like a girl who wouldn’t drink unnecessarily, have unnecessary sex, miss classes or school, or do anything Eddie might have done his first year in school.

The innocent girl is now a senior and in the same class as Eddie. He’s failed 3 times, but this year has to be his last. He has to go wherever y/n plans to. He can’t just let her go.

All the years of walking past y/n and occasionally hanging out with her, he could never get her to feel as comfortable around him as he wanted.

Maybe that was his fault though, because he’d always pressured the poor girl to smoke with him, knowing she’d knock out every time.

He hadn’t used her body like he’d dreamed of when she would be knocked out, but he definitely did jerk off until he came on her face. He’d slip her tiny skirts up to take a smell of that cunt.

He could never get passed that point. Not even to free her tits or maybe eat her till she cums because he’d cum just from the smell of her.

After all these years of uncomfortable situations, y/n decided to tell Eddie, their senior year, that she was moving in different directions of friends. She offered to hang out occasionally, but he didn’t like that.

Eddie threw a fit and her neck ended up wrapped in his hand. He said some very nasty things, rather that was calling her “My fucking slut,” or saying “If you keep makin’ me wait, I’ll take it from you,”.

This was a couple of months ago, and since then, y/n hasn’t spoken a word to him. She can’t look at him or talk about him. He’s done too much.

“Y/n, just talk to me! I-It’s been so long,” Eddie stalked behind y/n as she walked through this surprisingly big school. “I don’t want to, Eds,” she said as she began walking up the stairs.

“Please, princess, I’m sorry, okay? I really am, I just- I just needed you,” Eddie said, aching that his baby girl couldn’t even look into his eyes. “Why do you need me? You’re like 21 Eddie. I just turned 18,” y/n rolled her eyes as she hit the top of the stairs.

Of course, y/n had a crush on Eddie since she was a freshman, but over time, she’s met other people. She’s never gone far because she’s had this voice in her mind saying Eddie. She could only be for Eddie.

Now that her feelings died down, she’s been getting better with letting these college boys make out with her. Maybe even finger her, but she’s never given to them or had sex.

Eddie of course knows about this, which makes him furious. She’s never told him about her feelings, but it’s not hard to see a shy girl.

“C’mon baby, don’t be like that. We both know you love that. I’m mature and strong and can take so good care of you,” Eddie kept following the girl. She’s just trying to get to her class. She can’t have this conversation right now.

“I don’t need to take care of Eddie! I’m an adult,” y/n grew annoyed. “You’re not a fucking adult! You’re still going and need protecting,” Eddie’s delusional thoughts got out.

“Fuck off, Munson,” y/n finally got out. Eddie’s face and attitude about this situation, change right after her response to him pouring his heart out. This fucking brat.

Eddie quickly ran up behind y/n and grabbed her, causing her books to fall out of her hand. “Eddie, what the hell! Get off of me!” She yelled as she fought. They went at him for quite some time, but sadly, her bag ended up on the floor and she ended up pinned against the lockers by her neck.

“Calm down!” Eddie huffed in her face. As much as he loves the fight, he wants to set her straight. “Eddie, stop,” y/n whined as she kicked, but that didn’t bother him. “Stop it, y/n,” he moved his head inches away from her face, but she wouldn’t listen. She’s just acting up!

Eddie pulled her off of the locker and then slammed her back into it, knocking the wind out of her. “You do this do yourself. It’s all you! If you would just shut up, keep your head down, and listen, you’d be fine,” Eddie’s mind started racing.

“But no. You walk around her, actin’ single and open when you’re not. I fucking calmed you! I came on your pretty little face every chance I got. You’re marked,” Eddie spilled his secrets.

“N-No,” y/n didn’t believe him. “Oh, yes, and I think you I would. Just look at me, baby,” Eddie said as he began slowly grinding himself on her. She moved her face to the side after his lips touched hers, but that didn’t stop him from moving back into her face.

“You do something to me, and you know it. That’s why you let me hang out with you at such a young age. You’re a fucking tease, and you’ve been teasing me for far too long,” Eddie said

Seconds later, Eddie threw the poor girl to the ground. She’s been such a brat. She needs to be taught. He can’t go through this life of not stuffing her like one of her stuffed animals.

“Eddie, we’re at school!” Y/n yelled whispered as she tried backing up, but he soon got on top of her. “Good. Let them watch me take your innocence. Let them see that the freak is the only one to fill this bratty cunt,” Eddie whispered in her ear before tugging at her clothes.

Eddie turned the poor girl around, hurting her knees, but he couldn’t care less. He’ll take care of her when he takes her home.

Y/n begged, hoping no one would hear them and come out to see this mess, but him on the other hand. He wants that. He wants them to watch her so corrupted on his cock. They need to see.

“Please, Eddie,” y/n’s eyes began to water. She should have known this would happen. She’s even dreamt and prayed for something like this to happen years ago, but now, she doesn’t know. Does she still feel the same?

“Fucking Christ, y/n. You’re such a fucking hassle,” Eddie forced the weak girl's skirt to her mid-through. “These fucking panties don’t make this better,” Eddie chuckled, seeing how puffy her cunt was. Her pretty wet cunt.

“I’m gonna fuck into this pretty thing while you keep it down. All you gotta do, baby, is keep it down,” Eddie whispered in the girl's ear as he slowly pulled her panties to the side.

He’s always wanted to fuck her in her uniform. After she made the cheer team, he just had to fuck her in this outfit.

“D-Don’t touch there,” y/n stuttered as Eddie reached into his jeans. “Oh, baby — You know I’ll do more than just touch you,” Eddie stroked his already so painfully hard cock. So painful.

“I’m gonna rip you in two in these high school hallways,” Eddie said before spitting in his hand to get himself wet. She’s wet enough, but he can’t take his time fucking her. He’s already around the corner from cuming.

“You ready baby?” Eddie asked, which remained y/n, she didn't even fight anymore. “No!” She began moving and giving Eddie a he’d time, once again hoch pissed him off quickly.

“Fuck, y/n! You’re so damn hardheaded!” Eddie grabbed the fighting girl's head, making her arch her back. “Ow!” Y/n whined. Eddie brought a heavy hand to her ass, slapping it a few times to shut her up.

“If you keep fuckin’ with me, I’ll give you a harder time at my house. Trust me, you will not handle a cock in your ass,” Eddie threatened. The girl didn’t completely stop fighting back, but she did calm down. She still whined, knowing she couldn’t stop this. Apart from her doesn’t want to stop it.

“Good girl,” Eddie Said as he slowly began pushing into the whining girl. “Agh, fuck! Fuck, you’re s-so fucking tight,” Eddie slightly moaned as he got deeper and deeper into her.

Y/n’s legs began to shake as the taller dude began thrusting his hips. “Yeah, just like that,” Eddie slowly moved in and out of y/n as she shook uncontrollably with her sweetest whines.

“So fucking wet, baby. I could drink you for days,” Eddie said in her ear as her clot began to swell. “Eddie,” she whined, eyes rolled back and fucked out like he wanted her. He’s waited so long to see his princess like this.

“Mhm, you like it? Like went Eddie fucks his cock into your innocent pussy?” Eddie kept his mouth so close to her ear as she slowly began rocking her hips back. “Yeah — So fucking desperate for a cock. Always knew you were a slut. Fuckin’ told ya,” Eddie spoke as he sped up.

“Aah!” Y/n moaned, trying to keep herself down as her cunt got louder and Eddie’s thrust got more aggressive. He wants to risk it all. “C’mon, baby! Let it out. They then hear you,” Eddie encouraged as he pulled her head back more.

“Let it out!” He demands with a slap on her bare ass. “No!” Y/n still thought she had a say in anything. “You’re gonna regret it,” Eddie growled in her ear before pushing her face to the ground.

The huge man kept a hand on her face, causing her back to arch then grabbed her waist. With that, he began to fuck into her inexperienced cunt like a fuck doll. He has to do it. He gave her no choice.

“Fuck, Eddie!” She cried out as her ass clapped back into Eddie’s. “Yeah,” Eddie growled, losing control of the way he fucks into her. He almost forgot she hadn’t done this before.

“Want me to slow down? Is my cock too much for your fucked our cunt?” Eddie asked as he leaned closer to her face. “Want daddy to hurry up and breed this little pussy, and make you his little girl forever?” Eddie asked Y/n, knowing she couldn’t respond back. He’s so good at this.

“Yeah, I know you do. You wanna be trapped with me. Want me to knock you up on school grounds for everyone to see,” Eddie felt himself getting close as y/n whined at the twitch of his cock.

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie’s voice cracked as he slammed into her cunt to make her feel it all. She didn’t know how, but just at that, she came. She couldn’t hold it anymore. She tried her best, but she had to let it go.

“Ah huh! Ah huh!” Eddie’s thrusts stuttered until he finally buried himself so deep, he was sure she’d become pregnant. “Oh fuuck!” Eddie groans loudly, surprised that no one has come out yet.

“Oh my god,” y/n moaned as her juice leaned all over her skirt. “Oh fuck,” Eddie chuckled, feeling his cock twitching in her walls. He knows he’s not as empty as he wants to be. As soon as he takes her home, he’ll empty the rest.

“Fuck,” y/n whined low as Eddie slowly pulled out and y/n’s lower body slumped on the ground at how weak she was. Eddie admired the cum leaking out of her plumped cunt. He even thought about eating her out.

“P-Please,” y/n aimlessly said, so fucked out, she will not be able to walk. “I know, baby. It’s a lot. But remember how bad you were. You don’t get to rest today,” Eddie said in her ear.

Eddie fixed y/n and himself up before pulling y/n to her feet slowly. “You’re coming home with me, okay?” Eddie asked. “Okay,” y/n said low, wanting all this taking care of that he mentioned. “Good answer, princess,” Eddie kissed the girl's cheek.

After coming home from a long fuck session in the middle of their school hallway, Eddie couldn’t help himself. He let hit sweet girl rest next to him on his bed after he cleaned her up.

She begged him too much for him to say no. Y/n surpassingly gave him a peck, causing his eyes to water. He finally made it. All the days he’s stalked, perved, and even punished her not too long ago, he made it to the point he wanted to get to. Which is with her forever.

#18+ #18+ content #18+ fic #18+ minors dni #18+ only #18+ post #smut #pure smut #cnc k!nk #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson #perv!eddie munson #delusional #delulu #stranger things smut #stranger things #dom!eddie munson #innocent!reader #choking #rough cnc #rough kink #roughfuck #rough daddy

[binsito]

tired

pairing: lee felix x fem reader

genre: bff!felix, pining, angst

word count: 2.4k

rating: mature, includes: unprotected sex, mentions of fingering and f receiving oral, it's pretty vanilla just kinda angsty, petnames like "baby", "pretty boy", and "princess" are used, felix is ur bff that's in love with you and you have horrible dating experiences with shitty people

felix was tired of having to wipe your tears.

was tired of having to listen to you talk in extensive detail over how shitty the guys you've dated have been.

how they hurt you, how they toss you aside and make you feel little.

was tired of having to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, patching them back into place only for you to go and get it torn right out of your chest all over again.

he was absolutely sick of it.

but most of all he was sick of you telling him how your lovers always fell short.

how the sex was mediocre, how they left you high and dry, chasing their own pleasure and leaving you hanging - utterly unfulfilled and upset.

he was sick of you telling him how many orgasms you've faked, how many times you've lied about how big their cock was in hopes that maybe that would push them to fuck you harder.

how they never knew where your clit was, always rubbing the skin next to it painfully hard or rubbing your folds - never where you needed them the most.

felix would never do you like that.

he wouldn't dream of giving you frustrating, god awful, pathetic sex.

felix wanted nothing more than to pull orgasm after orgasm from you, lapping your sweet cream with his tongue, dying to taste you, to have you shake under him.

he wanted to let you use him, he wanted to be a toy for you, for you to mount him and get off on him. he wanted to be good for you, to take whatever you gave him, to have you cum around his cock while he looked up at you with bleary eyes.

was that too much to ask for?

it was all he ever wanted..

he would never hurt you, would never leave you, would never make you feel worthless.

he wanted you to be his princess, he wanted you to only look at him and not those lazy excuses of a partner.

but he was just your best friend.

and you would never look at him that way.

"thank you for picking me up lix.." you said softly, breaking him out of his thoughts

you had called him to come pick you up from some guy's house, felix already knew that the guy had disappointed you in one way or another but he didn't say anything.

this was routine.

"i-i'm sorry for calling you so late.. he just didn't seem like he wanted me to stay the night so.. i felt weird asking if i could.." he just nodded, not wanting to say anything for fear of saying something brash.

"is it.. alright if you just take me back to yours? i would feel so bad if you drove all the way back to my apartment.." "s'fine yeah? you know i'd never say no to you.." he mumbled

and that was true.

he was physically incapable of telling you no, no matter how hard he tried. you could ask him to wrestle a bear for you and he would do it, no questions asked.

the rest of the ride back to his place was quiet, he didn't even bother turning the radio on. he just wanted to lay in bed, hoping you would spare him the details of your encounter because he feared he would go ballistic, could potentially show up at that guys place and fuck him up if he had done anything to you.

you took the right side of the bed, that was your spot. felix was very particular about what side was whose, you always thought it was funny. you didn't care much for sides, especially if you were drunk or super exhausted, any side was a good side.

he laid there, back towards you while you stared up at the ceiling. he could tell you were going to have trouble sleeping tonight. you barely slept if you had a mind full of racing thoughts. normally he would curl up into your sides or have you fall asleep on his chest but he was also spent.

tired.

tired of the constant back and forth. of always being the one waiting for you at the end of the tunnel.

tired of having to be strong for you, so you had someone to lean on when things went to shit.

"i-is there.. something wrong with me?"

oh god.

he could hear the tears in your voice.

shit.

"what? no, fuck no." he's quick to answer. "why would there be anything wrong with you?.." "then why does this always happen?.."

"because shitty guys tend to take advantage of sweet and beautiful girls like you.."

"i-im not-" "yes, you are.. you're the prettiest girl i know and trust me, i fucking hate seeing you like this.." his voice was soft yet stern, hoping the words would stick with you.

you were pretty.

prettier than any flower he's every picked, prettier than any sunset he's ever seen, prettier than any star he's ever counted.

and he's counted a lot.

trying hard to find you in a galaxy far away but never coming close.

always just too out of reach.

maybe he'd be a little more lucky in a different lifetime.

"i-i'm sorry lix.. i must be so annoying.. always asking you for help whenever i do something stupid.." "i love you.. that's what i'm here for.." he loved you.

his body was screaming for you to realize the weight of his words.

i love you, i love you, i love you!

"i love you too lix.."

but not in the way i love you, right?

of course not.

you both fall quiet but the room felt so loud, so unbearably loud. like the walls were laughing at you both, pointing and mocking.

felix shut his eyes, not wanting to feel anything anymore and hoping to fall asleep right away.

he was hoping you'd follow suit, that you would just go to bed after this and you two could carry on like you always did.

"i just wish i could find someone like you.. i wish i could just date you instead of wasting my time over and over again.."

felix wished you never said that.

that you had just let this go and had just gone to bed.

and part of him was so angry because couldn't you see how hard he tried for you? how incredibly lovesick he was?

"you should just go to bed." he spoke, not meaning to sound so cold. you obviously picked up on his tone.

"lix i'm sorry that was weird right?-"

"no, but it pissed me off because yeah.. wouldn't it have saved you all the trouble if you just dated me?" "lixie i didn't mean to-" "didn't mean to upset me, i get it. but i'm gonna be upset regardless because i've been going through this with you for far too long and i am just so.. fucking.. tired.

when i say i love you, i'm not just saying it because i feel like it or because you're my best friend.. i'm saying it because i fucking love you and i'm dying for you to just pick me for once.."

you felt so little at this moment.

so, so stupid.

the crazy thing was, you knew how he felt but you always just pushed it aside as nothing. that maybe you were reading into the way he liked holding your hand too much. that you were crazy to ever think your best friend could feel something more for you than just platonic friendship.

you opened your mouth to speak but ultimately fell silent.

how would you even answer? what could you even possibly say?

he figured he fucked up, about to turn away again and pretend he didn't just say the craziest shit ever. god, he wished he could just vanish.

"lix.. please don't be mad at me.. i-i'm sorry.."

if there was something you hated more than the guys you've slept with, it's feeling like you hurt felix.

"just stop apologizing please-"

"no.. you can't just say you love me and then try pushing me away.." you spoke, trying to keep your voice from faltering or sounding weak.

"i don't want to complicate things.."

"but you already did, felix."

he decided it would be best if he just slept on the couch tonight, sitting up and scooting towards the edge of the bed. your hand quickly coming over to grab his arm

"felix, please. don't leave.. we both need to stop being reckless.. you can't keep hiding your feelings and i can't keep making bad choices.. it's so bad for us." you spoke softly, your touch burning through him.

he couldn't resist you, he always sought out your warmth and soft skin.

"wouldn't dating your best friend be a bad choice?"

you couldn't help but let out a soft laugh at that.

"no.. because i know you're a good person.. you've been patient with me and i know that this might be the only good choice i'll ever make."

now he was the one trying to find words and failing to come up with a response.

but there didn't need to be any more words exchanged, you tugged him towards you and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

both of your hearts thumping nervously in your chest. it felt different but right. it was like learning to swim, you were afraid of drowning but felix was there to hold you up, kissing you back once he realized he didn't give a fuck anymore.

he loved you and he wasn't going to miss an opportunity to show you that he could love you just as you deserved.

--

it felt like the whole world was fast asleep while the two of you hastily took your clothes off. all of it strewn on the floor, bodies bare, radiating heat and harboring so many new feelings.

felix lived alone so there was no need for you to be as quiet as you were but it almost felt better this way.

you couldn't quite remember how it had escalated to this point.

maybe it was when felix let out a needy whimper against your lips or when you pulled him in close by his hair. he was so pliant, so ready to give.

you both knew you wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight anyways, so once it had gotten to this point, you both welcomed it.

"lix it's okay.." you whispered, you could see him contemplating going any further, like he was guilty about doing this.

you cupped his face and kissed his forehead softly

"i trust you..it's okay lixie.."

you trust him.

his heart felt like it could burst.

you trust him.

you trust him enough to let him have you like this, to make you feel good, to treat you well.

he wasn't going to disappoint.

he didn't care if he got to finish after this or not, his one goal in mind is to finally do all the things he'd dreamt of doing to you.

he was more worried about making sure you'd cum and were left satisfied. he let you know in advanced that he wasn't one to get embarrassed if you guided his hand or told him how to touch. he wanted to know, was eager to learn what made your toes curl.

two fingers deep inside you while his pretty lips worked diligently on your clit. your breathy moans would be engraved in his memory after this.

"oh god.. lixie.. just like that baby.." hands tangled in his long hair.

baby.

it's like you knew exactly what to say to make him crazy.

"shit.. lixie.. can't anymore.. gotta have you.." you sighed out, eyes shut tightly, your stomach coiling at the arising orgasm he was pulling from you. he pulled back and looked down at your cunt, it was basically screaming his name, fluttering around nothing, begging him to just finally breach your hole and make it his.

you wanted to cum on him, wanted to have him inside and hold him close.

he knew he was a dead man as soon as he lined up and pressed in, holding your hands gently and letting out a relieved exhale. it felt so much better than he had ever imagined, sucking him in like your cunt was made for him.

"g-god i'm not sure i'll last very long.." he chuckled

you smiled up at him and he kissed you just as he started to move gently, pacing himself in hopes of drawing this out as long as he could but in all honesty, he was dying to rut into you with all the force he could muster.

your arms wrapping around him as his forehead pressed against yours.

it was perfect.

he was perfect.

gentle and sweet, asking you if you were alright, telling you how much he loved you, how good you were taking his cock.

you could get used to this.

making love with felix.

you hated yourself for how long it took you to get here, how many heartaches and horrible exes you went through only to fall back into felix's arms time and time again.

this time you hoped to stay.

"i'm close lixie.. right there.." you whimpered, legs coming around his hips to cage him in.

he kept hitting your spot, pushing you to your peak, intensity bubbling in your tummy until it was just too much - snapping within you, your orgasm taking over all your senses.

felix cooed and sweet talked you through it, helping you ride it out as he let himself go as well, filling you with his own cum.

post nut clarity hitting him because he was so fucking worried this would ruin everything he's ever known.

he'd rather throw himself into ongoing traffic than to lose you, his best friend.

"lix.." you grabbed his face

"pretty boy.. you need to stop worrying so much.." pecking his lips gently to bring his attention back towards you.

"i promise i wanna try this with you.. i really do.. i want us to both be happy together.." he nodded and laid down on your chest, holding you close and shutting his eyes.

"i'll make you happy.. i won't let you cry anymore. i waited so long for you, princess.."

you smiled softly to yourself, playing with his hair and massaging his scalp.

you knew things would be alright for a change.

please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito

#binsito #skz smut #stray kids smut #felix stray kids #stray kids felix #felix smut #lee felix smut #felix x reader smut #felix x reader #lee felix x reader #lee felix x reader smut #yongbok #lee yongbok #yongbok smut

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

#and there's something else in there about like .... #tbh once i got over something like 1k followers #i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON. #yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc #but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about #in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers #bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like #jesus christ lord almighty #every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me #each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!! #their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was #fucking cottagecore !!!! #like girlie this person needs THERAPY #again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc #bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this #and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!! #aND THEY ARE!!! #something something something they know this content makes them money #they don't give a SHIT about u babe