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#am I overthinking things or do I need to go to a doctor to see if I have an anxiety disorder?
monnn · 5 days
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Am I the greatest bastard that you know?
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staring: idol! jeonghan x non-idol!, gn! s/o
wc: 1.3k-ish
genre: ANGST. big angry feelings of reader, kinda fluff towards the end?
a/n: hi, ur fav angst lover is back! things have not been great lately and this fic might just be a vent of mine. big feelings and anger is very valid but so is taking a break. hope you realise that and take a break from life to just exist! to whoever's reading this, i love u, let things take time, take time for yourself, stay hydrated and BE ANGRY!!!
divider by @saradika-graphics !!!
song rec for this fic is The Greatest Bastard by Damien Rice!
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knowing how stressful going on a hiatus can be, you successfully lure jeonghan into a staycation, away from the city. though han had to be present for rehab, you had checked with the doctor and he was okay with han being away for a weekend. doing nothing was the plan since jeonghan was actively burning out from working hard to the extent that he's injured, so he was looking forward to spend time with his loved one for a while. what neither of you knew was the fight that would gonna pop up at reaching the room. hannie had drove all the way to the hotel since you didn't have a license and all you had done after reaching there was ask what he wanted to eat since y'all had skipped the rest stops.
~ 30 mins before
"hey love, what do you feel like eating? i could order it for us" you ask a very eepy han.
"just anything, i'm okay with anything" he replies and you can sense the exhaustion in his voice. to make sure you don't get him more grumpy, you ask again to confirm if he's sure about his decision.
"jesus y/n! can you cut me some slack? just stop fucking bothering me and order whatever the fuck you want!" he yells, shaking you to the core.
here's the thing - there necessarily hasn't been any major disagreements or "fights" in your relationship, so the intensity of his feelings get to you. but he should've known better than to snap because your rage knows no bounds and hannie does know about this.
"well, fuck you with that behaviour of yours, i'm not gonna be ordering any food!"
"good! because i don't fucking need it anymore either!" he screams, walking away from the room. you had put great effort in picking a room which is right by a stream, surrounded by mountains and a temple on one of the mountains.
trying not to mind the rage and disappointment with han, you chug a glass of water before doing anything. but you weren't gonna let han off the hook because he was having a hard time. the value you hold for yourself is much more important and you've tried so hard to just have that value in your life for so long, hence you are not going to let the love of your life doubt on it. finishing another glass of water, you leave the room in search of hannie with some snacks and a drink.
you are yet find han with the passing time. he wasn't by the stream, hadn't left the premises according to the owner and definitely hadn't hiked up a mountain(cause bro was literally eepy). but the one place you hadn't scraped was the temple, so you hydrate and go on to check if he's there.
in fact, he is there. his silhouette seems regretful. melancholic even. hunched over and zoning out by overthinking. you stomp your way towards the temple, letting him know of your arrival as he fixes his posture and keeps his gaze down. leaving your shoes behind, you enter the temple and kneel infront of han to provide well-needed snacks and water. he whispers a small 'thank you' and you move aside to sit away from him. not that you wanted to, rather wanting to just talk without any physical contact. you see him chug the water and eat his snacks, making a part of you feel relieved. after finishing his nibbles, han thinks he's ready to talk cause he knows it's better to do this right now than to dwell and let it become bigger.
"y/n, i'm sorry. i am not gonna reason myself for my actions towards you but i do wanna let you know i'm really tired. probably beyond exhaustion. i love you but that was really wrong of me to behave that way when you were just trying to make me feel better." he begins.
"okay, i accept your apology. but i'm not sorry because i haven't done anything wrong. and i'm gonna have to get this off my chest cause if i don't say it now, it's just gonna grow and rot in me." you say, stretching out your hand for him to hold. hannie slips his palm in yours and there's a little squeeze from both of you before letting go.
"okay, i'm gonna listen what you have to say and i'm sure i'll have things to say after, but i'm gonna listen to you first." he says, reassuring you.
"thank you. i hope you know that i was just trying to be of help and not a bother. you snapping at me was unnecessary, which you know by now and it scared me han. for a moment, you were an angry stranger to me and it made me so angry too. why? because i don't deserve to be treated like this han, you know how hard life has been and still is for me." you pause, taking a deep breath as you feel tears welling up your eyes. but one look at hannie and you know he's making space for your anger, willing for you to continue.
shit, you really do love him.
"i understand how mentally and physically exhausting things have been for the past week or so. i understand so much han, i really do. but that does not give you any leverage to be rude or angry at me. regardless of the terrible things i deal with in my life, i'm really trying to be positive towards our relationship and this unconsciously might've broken a part of me. maybe i'm being dramatic but my feelings are big and valid. i love you but we'll need to work on this at our own pace, yeah? what do you think?" you finish, catching a breath that you didn't realise was held.
jeonghan takes a deep breath, before he begins. taking one look at you, he fidgets with his phone and tries to talk cause he has to start somewhere.
"firstly, i am really sorry love. i wanna let you know that i regret my actions and shouldn't have behaved that way towards you. it's just been really hard for me to go into a break from being so packed with schedules. i don't think i've rested at all since i started working and it's just a lot. it's a lot because i now am realising the importance of rest and that solely is beyond overwhelming. but now that i'm here, i want to make the best of it and spend as much time as i can with the people i love. again, i can't think of anything other than apologising because you don't deserve that. i have no right to be treating you that way when you've put your complete trust and love in me. i'm so sorry again love, i want to work on this. i'm not sure how but i wanna work on us, with you. i love you." he finishes, letting out a loud sob. you hold yourself back from going and holding him cause he needs this more than anything else.
instead you move next to him, taking one of his hands in yours. hannie turns to look at you and lays his head on your shoulder, not caring about drenching your shirt. you gently caress his hand as he calms down and give him some water to hydrate. disconnecting from your hand, he drinks the water and wipes his face but intertwines your arm in both of his the moment he's done. there's a moment of stillness felt, as he leans onto your shoulder, nuzzling further into your neck. you haven't felt this feeling ever and just being present makes you realise that there is always space to be wrong and learn in love. not sure if it's the same with everyone else, but you know for sure it is with jeonghan.
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blackdragoness · 4 months
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PICK-A-CARD READING
IF YOU WERE A DRUG, WHAT DRUG WOULD YOU BE?
WHY DO PEOPLE BECOME “ADDICTED” TO YOUR ENERGY?
Do you give off ALCOHOLIC vibes, CRACKHEAD energy, OR STONER vibes?
**THIS IS PURELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT** I am not calling any of you addicts. Its just a game to have fun so just enjoy it for what it is: ENTERTAINMENT. I am not a professional and the advice given is based off my own personal experience with these addictions. I share what helped me free myself from these vices but I strongly recommend speaking with a professional that can help you better. Without further ado....
LESSSKOOOO
PICK A CARD:
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PILE 1: ACE OF HEARTS
If you chose pile 1, the vice that best describes your personality is:
***STONER***
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**** DISCLAIMER: I am not insinuating that you smoke alot of pot, even if that's true haha. I am not your doctor, pastor, therapist, parent, sibling, boss, the police, your parole officer, NONE OF THAT. So I dont care what you do on your own time. I am not condoning those actions either but at the same time, it’s your life and you can do whatever you want with it.****
Regardless of your personal choices, this is what it says about your personality:
Laid-back, chill AF �� almost too laid back it can sometimes be mistaken for laziness – but at the same time, a lot of you reading this probably are lazy and already know that. Its not a roast, I’m just affirming what you already know LOL. Big couch potato energy. Very laxed. As contradictory as it sounds, this is actually why people become addicted to your energy. There isn’t a lot of people who have the chill factor that you have and being around you is like a break from the hustle and bustle of life.
The cool kid – the IT Boy/Girl. Everything you do is effortless
Iconic – does your own thing & known for not following the crowd
You guys have a mind of your own!
Unbothered – it is very hard to ruffle your feathers or get a reaction out of you. It is both an admirable and irritable trait depending on who you’re talking to. If not, you may just react to things very slowly and may find yourself hot and bothered after the fact
Very easy going and easy to talk to – you can chop it up with almost all personalities because you are very relatable and relaxed.
CLASS CLOWN VIBES - you may not take things too seriously and can find humor in anything! You say some funny shit man, and you aren’t even trying to be funny.
EFFORTLESS COMEDIAN.
Very witty and intelligent
You can hold a conversation with a variety of people. Whether its small talk or deep intellectual conversations.
People remember you for the conversations that they have with you and the energy that you bring to the conversation. You may not even realize the effect your words or energy have on people but it lingers on their mind and energy long after you have gone away. All a person needs is one “hit” of your energy.
Might be apart of the “woke” culture or many people would describe you as being “woke”
May be labeled an overthinker, borderline paranoid but also a very critical thinker. You may think about things that most people don’t think about. It may shock others how much you know about a variety of topics  
Very grounded and rooted in whatever it is that you do.
Natural beauties and very natural bodies.
“LOVE CHILD”
Hippy vibes
You have a reputation for always being in a good mood and always being happy for no reason. Its very rare that you are in a bad mood. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have those days. You just know how to guard your emotions and only let a small number of trusted people see your vulnerable side.
Y’all are A VIBE. Periodt. Point. Blank.
You can vibe with a crowd AND you can vibe all on your own. You could be both introverted and extroverted depending on your mood. Sometimes you might be in a corner on your own doing your own thing, other times you’re mingling with a variety of different people. Just depends on your mood.
You probably have lots of conversations with your self all the time. People might think you’re a little weird for that but you might find it funny
Very unique and one of a kind
You might have your own distinct smell. Maybe you have a certain perfume/cologne that you use all the time that people know you for. OR maybe you just stink and smell like body odor. It can be either one of those two extremes LOL (Smokers LOVE the smell of weed, nonsmokers tend to strongly DESPISE the smell of weed so it goes both ways. Don’t shoot the messenger HAHA)
May have a love for music or be very musically inclined
Lyricist, journalist, writer/author - may be very good at articulating your thoughts and emotions but you may mumble or speak softly.
Every moment with you is a HIGH moment – by “high”, I mean when people see you, even if the interaction is short, its most often the HIGHlight of peoples day.
Everyones BUDdy
Wall FLOWER vibes
May be looked at as slightly ditzy
ADVICE:
Tap into your creativity more. This pile has the creative abilities, if improved and mastered, can be monetized on greatly.
Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and to stand out.
If you struggle with overthinking, it means you aren’t taking enough action. Start moving and putting your amazing thoughts into action so you can manifest the life you dream about all the time. Mistakes are inevitable and part of the growing process so don’t be afraid to make mistakes or make a fool out of yourself. That’s how you learn. The longer you sit on your ideas, the easier it is for doubtful thoughts to creep in which in turn will stop you from taking any type of action. It is time to take action and slow down the voices in your head telling you that you aren’t enough.
Believe in yourself more and learn to love yourself for all your flaws. Your biggest critic and your biggest competition should always be yourself so build yourself up more. Quit the negative self talk. Critique yourself towards improvement but not to the point of giving up. You’re more than you give yourself credit for.
Be more comfortable speaking your mind in the moment instead of bottling everything up all the time. You only end up beating yourself up in the end and it slows down your progress.
If you are addicted to the drug, my advice is to take a break from it for a bit so you can start being active again in your own life. You don't have to quit cold turkey. Take it one day at a time but the wheels will start moving for you soon as you make that change. Too much of anything, even if it's good for you, can eventually start to work against you. But it's your life. If you can find that balance while still keeping it in your life, more power to ya! 😊
CHANNELED SONG:
MOVING ABOUT MY WAYS by Josh Wawa White
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PILE 2: ACE OF CLUBS
If you chose pile 2, the vice that best describes your personality is:
***ALCOHOLIC***
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**** DISCLAIMER: I am not insinuating that you drink a lot of alcohol, even if that's true haha. I am not your doctor, pastor, therapist, parent, sibling, boss, the police, your parole officer, NONE OF THAT. So I don’t care what you do on your own time. I am not condoning those actions either but at the same time, it’s your life and you can do whatever you want with it.****
Regardless of your personal choices, this is what it says about your personality:
BIG GOOFBALL ENERGYYYY
Very energetic and MAFANA (pronounced “mah-fah-nah” meaning “heated” in the Tongan language). You might always be MAFANA and ready to do anything at any moment. Also you might literally be MAFANA in body temperature. Might have a warmer body temperature or may always be hot even in colder temperatures. May enjoy very hot showers as well.
Extremely physically attractive. Sexy and sultry type of aesthetic
Very seductive mannerisms and voice
Very spontaneous and slightly chaotic
You might speak in slang a lot – doesn’t matter the slang, but you have your own way of speaking
People would probably describe you as being very bold and confident. You aren’t afraid to say what’s on your mind and you don’t care who hears.
True to yourself
Very genuine and authentic in all your interactions
You’re probably sociable and outgoing
Extremely outgoing – very rarely are you ever alone. You always have a crowd of people surrounding you or with you.
You have your own unique sense of style and fashion taste. People know and recognize you for your fashion sense. It’s just very……YOU.
Brutally honest but honest nonetheless – people may avoid you because of how honest you can be. But people know when they really need an honest opinion, you are the first person to come to mind.
People may describe you as having multiple personalities. It can be both a good thing or a bad thing depending on who you are talking to. One things for sure, getting to know you is NEVER a bore.
Never a dull moment when you are around
LIFE OF THE PARTY
You are the person everyone hopes to see at an event or a party because they know it will be a fun time if you are around.
Very confident – ALPHA vibes – BOSS energy
You may be everyone’s “go-to” person when they need to vent or get things off their chest. Interacting with you is like a glass of wine at the end of a really rough day. If it was a really tough day, you’re more like 3 shots of Henney instead of wine, lets be honest.
You have a “numbing” effect on people – interacting with you is like nothing else matters but the present moment. You’re a very rare type of person
You are the person to impress! Every room you walk into and every person you interact with, you are the center of attention & people will do anything to get your attention praise, & validation.
Not only are you the person to impress, you are also a very impressive person. You impress through your looks, your skills, your intellect, etc – ALL AROUND impressive
You are very expressive, blunt, and outspoken. You say whatever is at the top of your mind and react to everything based off of your emotions in the moment.
May at times be very moody
Night owls
Kareoke King/Queen
Shameless
No one ever knows what to expect with you. You keep everyone on their toes
Maybe a bit clumsy and silly but thats why people love your energy. Its giving "overgrown child" vibes and its refreshing.
You help heal alot of peoples inner child just by being yourself. You bring that young vibe to any occasion.
ADVICE:
Take more time for yourself and away from the noise and the audience. I sense that you don’t enjoy being alone because that is when the dark thoughts creep in. Maybe you dislike feeling lonely. Get more comfortable with being on your own and in your own energy. Sort out those dark thoughts. Try to figure out where the darkness originated from and learn to heal it. It will improve your social interactions greatly.
Learn to enjoy silence. A lot of positive ideas, peace, and self discovery can be found in the silence.
Your greatest strength is your outspokenness. However, by remaining silent, you can avoid a lot of regret for yourself. You can also learn a lot about others simply by listening and remaining silent. Stay outspoken, but add silence into your personality every now and then to bring more balance to your character
SLOW DOWN - in all areas! Speak slower, walk slower, think slower, react slower, develop relationships slower, etc. You may start many things very quickly and burn out just as fast. Learn to pace yourself and develop your mental/physical stamina
If you are addicted to the alcohol, my advice would be to find a healthier hobby to substitute that vice. Exercise helps with regulating your emotions as well as a healthy eating plan. Get more sleep and start journaling. Having an outlet to really pour out your emotions will keep you from pouring another cup. Take it one day at a time, but the wheels will start rolling for you once you make that change. But it's your life, do as you please! If you can find that balance in your life, more power to ya!
CHANNELED SONGS: ALCOHOLIC by COMMON KINGS
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PILE 3: ACE OF DIAMONDS
If you chose pile 1, the vice that best describes your personality is:
***CRACKHEAD***
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**** DISCLAIMER: I am not insinuating that you’re a meth/coke head, even if that's true haha. I am not your doctor, pastor, therapist, parent, sibling, boss, the police, your parole officer, NONE OF THAT. So I dont care what you do on your own time. I am not condoning those actions either but its your life and you can do whatever you want with it.****
Regardless of your personal choices, this is what it says about your personality:
The most energetic of all the piles
CEO/Supervisor energy
Very focused and determined to accomplish anything you set your mind to. You are willing to start things over as many times as you need until you get it right.
You may have an addictive personality but also others may find your personality very addicting as well. Once someone has tasted your energy, its very hard to shake you.
People may become very obsessed with you. You circle peoples minds multiple times a day. They just cant figure you out. You may also be very obsessive and possessive yourself.
FOCUSED. FOCUSED. FOCUSED, Extremely focused individuals. Your focus is probably your most admirable trait.
As focused as you are, you are also probably a very great multitasker
Entrepreneurs or entrepreneurs in the making. You may be very business minded
You are usually always 10 steps ahead of the game. You see all sides and make very calculated moves based off of your observations.
Very observant individuals. You probably notice and remember the tiniest details about people and you know how to make people feel really special in every interaction with you. People don’t expect you to remember certain things they’ve mentioned or worn, but when you bring it up to them long after the fact, you really make people feel SEEN & HEARD. This makes you more trustworthy in their eyes.
May be accused of being narcissistic but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You may have been a victim to narcissistic abuse in the past so you’ve learned the ins and outs of all the mind games being played. So when someone uses a mind game on you, you flip it back on them and then they have the audacity to call YOU the narcissist. It has become your tool for self defense but also agitates those on the receiving end of your narcissism. To put it into perspective, most super heros and world leaders are narcissistic because they need to be. If not, they would get chewed up and spit out by the world and wouldn’t last a day in their position. If they wanna call you a narcissist because you refuse to adopt their mindset or their perspective, then so be it! Accept the title and keep it pushing. Remain true to yourself.
Very self-reliant and reliable. You conquer every task and assignment thrown at you and you do an amazing job at it in a very time efficient manner. People may try to discredit you or say you couldn’t have done it all by yourself but the proof is in the pudding darling. In reality, these folks are just projecting their own insecurities on to you because we all know, if they were in your position, there is no way they could have done that on their own. No one can deny your workmanship because you prove it time and time again.
Lone wolf vibes. You may not have many friends or you may not be open to inviting new people into your circle. “NO NEW FRIENDS” vibes
You probably have a sturdy set of friends and you’ve known them for a long time.
Very secretive and private. You may enjoy your privacy and may tend to keep a lot of your life hidden from the public eye.
Very protective of your energy and your space.
May have a lot of people who constantly have an opinion on your life. You do a great job at blocking them and their noise out of the way and continuing to push along.
STRONG STAMINA – yall can last for a lonnnngggg time (however you interpret that LOL)
Great debater – if someone wants to come at you sideways, they better come prepared with their arguments because going against you isn’t easy. You know yourself, you know your facts and you know what happened. Barely nothing gets past you.
Out of all the piles, this pile has the most haters. I don’t know why and neither do you. You must be someone of significance to have this many haters. You represent PRESSURE and people feel that energy as soon as you walk into the room. This is a compliment for you but a threat to your haters. No one wants to feel pressured to improve. You don’t try to apply pressure. You just ARE pressure.
You cant be tamed. Very hard to lock down and hard to pin down.
Unbeatable
Invincible
Immunity
Misjudged and misunderstood but never stops remaining true to yourself. Let the haters do their thing but keep doing you booboo.
Diamond in the rough
Might wear a lot of jewelry or you should wear more jewelry but this is something people notice about you. Maybe you have tons of jewelry or you have a piece of jewelry that people remember you for. If not, I suggest wearing more jewelry because it looks great on you.
ADVICE
Learn to handle the pressure that comes your way. You attract what you put out there and unfortunately, this is one of those things that is out of your control. People feel pressured when you are around therefore, you may feel as though pressure is constantly being applied to you. Don’t sweat it. These experiences are to show you how strong your character truly is but you must remain true to who you are if you want it to work in your favor.
Its okay to be more open and available to others. You can still maintain your strong boundaries but you don’t have to shut the entire world out. Remain open!
Keeping an open mind may also be helpful for you. Not everything will play out the way you envisioned it in your brain so keep an open mind so you can solve your problems as they arise.
Take some time to relax. You give off very strong workaholic vibes and sometimes you can overwork yourself to exhaustion. Give your body the rest it needs through sleep. Remember to eat throughout the day and fill your body up with the nutrients it needs to keep you going and alert for your various tasks. Go outside and enjoy the outdoors. Take time to care for yourself.
 Learn to lighten up a little. Your laser focus can sometimes make you too serious to be around. Laugh a little. Smile more. Let loose. Enjoy the life in front of you. Balance out your work and play and you’ll find your life is more enjoyable that way.
If you are addicted to the drug, my advice would be to invest in yourself more. You won't have the money to spend on drugs if you throw your money into something that will benefit you more in the long run. Take a class to build on a skill you already have, sign up for a committee, give yourself responsibility and bring purpose back into your life. But start small. Learn to depend on yourself and hold yourself up before trying to overextend yourself for others. Too much responsibility is probably what got you to this point or maybe it was the lack thereof. Whatever the case be, you need to love on yourself more & know that you are more than enough. The wheels will start moving for you once you make that change and the clarity that follows will bring you immense joy.
CHANNELED SONG: WINNAH WINNAH by RIA ft SPAWNBREEZIE
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gatitties · 7 months
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can i ask for something based on my daily suffering? It's interesting (or not) something fluff, welcoming, consoling, kind and gentle, I need happy things
Headcanons or Scenario for Red Hired and Whitebeard ( Whitebeard's daughter)
-My friends won't talk to me after a little annoying fight after I said how I felt about myself and apologized for something I shouldn't have, now my friends won't talk to me (whatever I was already alone)
-I'm desperate about grades in high school and no one wants to understand my situation of extreme anxiety, panic and depression
-I am not getting psychiatric and psychological help
-my cat died, now I'm suffering
-I tried against my life
-I don't have anyone to talk to about it, I'm practically alone
- I hate myself
Sorry for that, do it if you want, thank you 🫶
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─Red Hair Pirates & Whitebeard Pirates x fem!reader
─Summary: You are not having the best days but your family and friends make you see that you should not drown in a glass of water
─Warnings: none
I feel your loss :( and hey, everyone argues from time to time, things can be solved by talking if both parties want to work it out, I hope you are feeling better now love, feel free to message me if you need anything! 🫶🏻
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Your mood was really shitty lately, you argued with some important people over something silly, nothing seemed to go your way and you thought you were being a complete nuisance to all of your father's crew right now, so you decided to run away for a few weeks hoping a break would lift your spirits.
It seems you couldn't enjoy your alone time either because it just made you overthink the situation you were in which caused anxiety to kick in, everything was going so bad lately that you couldn't take it anymore, you needed to unload everything you had but you did not find any psychologist or doctor who convinced you to be able to try to calm your mind.
You were in the middle of a mental breakdown, in the middle of nowhere, on your way to another island when you saw it in the distance, you hadn't seen them many times, but you knew the Red-Haired Pirates, you thought it was better not to bother them considering your state in deplorable spirits, but once Shanks saw the ship with Whitebeard's mark on it it was inevitable that you would not end up aboard his ship.
The screams, belches and music made you shudder at first, too used to your deafening stupid thoughts, you looked like a little animal about to be run over while you watched all those men dance and drink without worries.
"What's the long face? This is a party, you should celebrate!"
Yassop patted you on the back offering you a drink which you refused, Benn denied seeing the interaction, coming closer to see how little receptive you were, he knew that something was occupying your mind now and it wasn't a party exactly what you had in mind.
"Don't listen to this idiot, you can do whatever you want, you can even hit Shanks if you want."
A grimace similar to a smile appeared on your face, a bit amused by Benn's words, apparently he summoned the redhead just by saying his name.
"What's up with me?"
"Oh nothing, we were just planning the way to kick you."
"Again? You should stop inciting our guests to hit me!" he looked at you, changing his silly smile to a fake look of a kicked puppy "Don't listen, okay? I know you're better than that! Someone like you wouldn't kick me, would you?"
You were amused by his nonsense, sharing a quick glance with the other two men, the grimace on your face turning into a wider smile.
"I don't know, the offer sounds good, what do I get if I kick it?"
"It!?"
Ignoring Shanks's betrayed expression, Benn and Yassop looked at you laughing, both patting their captain on the back making him take a step closer to you.
"Whatever you want! As long as you hit him with your greatest force."
"Hey! I'm the captain what the hell is wrong with you?"
They started a silly argument which the others joined in, making you chuckle slightly at the absurd situation, this little visit didn't exactly fix your problems, but spending time with this crew made you clear your mind and feel a little better, you decided you could deal with your problems a little later, for now you needed to release some tension.
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Coping with the loss of a pet, arguing with some friends, feeling like everything you do is not paying off, it all came crashing down on you like a storm hitting hard, you felt so bad you didn't even want to bother your father with your problems or the others.
You felt miserable, the days began to go by like a blur, unable to leave your room or socialize a bit, you felt alone and locked up, you were terrified of facing your father to talk about your problems thinking that you would only be a burden to the whole the crew, you felt bad asking for help even if you needed it.
And, honestly, you would have kept drowning in your own misery if it hadn't been for Ace noticing your absence, he could tell you weren't fine pretty quickly, although he didn't want to push you, he felt that you were simply making things worse for yourself by locking yourself away.
He asked Marco for help because he knew that he could not approach the subject delicately, the least he wanted to do was cause you to have an anxiety attack because of him, he did not want to be abrupt or direct when talking about the subject, so it was Marco who asked you how were you.
You didn't know if it was due to despair or mental exhaustion but you ended up telling between sobs that you weren't feeling well, that lately you felt that everything was against you and that your life became a constant uphill.
"Okay, calm down, everyone has bad streaks, does your father know anything about this?"
"N-no…"
"You don't need to say it right away if you're not comfortable, but talking to him will calm you down, it's stupid for me to say it but Whitebeard is a kind man, your father will understand you perfectly."
You nodded, burying your face in his shoulder, tightening the hug a little more before letting him go, it took a couple more days before you faced your father, it was hard for you to open up about the situation but Marco was right, once you let go everything, your father hugged you saying that everything would be fine.
"Oh my daughter, you should not worry, life turns its back on you sometimes so you have to stay strong, please, if there is something that can cheer you up right now I will do it for you immediately."
Your father's devotion to making you dear raised your spirits a lot, you smiled widely, denying his proposal for the moment, there was nothing he could do right now, you just wanted to hang out with the others since you had wasted a lot of time locked up.
"Oh look, isn't she my favorite girl? It's good to see you around here again, come on, just tell me what you want and you'll have it as fast as possible."
You laughed slightly at Thatch's enthusiasm to see you appear in the kitchen, ordered your favorite dish and got to work, while Izo walked in just to pick up something he'd forgotten, although he did stop to talk to you about some gossip you'd lost, put you up to date with everything.
"Is that food I smell? Can I have one piece?"
"No way, back down demon!"
And the peaceful gossip talk went overboard when Ace came into the kitchen drooling from the smell of your food, you and Izo laughed as Thatch tried to hit Ace with a spatula to scare him away, a small fight started in the one where the cook was juggling your plate while trying to keep the other boy from touching your food.
You lost it when Ace tripped over a cloth on the floor, grabbing onto Thatch's apron which knocked the plate into the air, they both fell to the floor and mysteriously the plate remained intact right on top of the cook's toupee. Izo smiled seeing how you laughed at the dumbest fall you'd seen so far, everyone knew that you hadn't been feeling very well lately and seeing that you were beginning to have a better mood made them happy.
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whynotjohnlock · 8 months
Text
Pocket Doctor
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
It would be so easy to burst out in laughter at the sight- the sight of The oncoming storm, last of the time lords, the nightmare of monsters, destroyer of the Daleks and Cybermen, The Doctor, in all his glory-
5 centimeters tall. (that's also 3 inches for any of you using the metric system)
And that is exactly what (Y/N) had found themself doing for the past hour. Curled up and on the floor from big spasms of glee and amusement, laughing so hard that tears shed from their eyes.
The Doctor was very tired to listening to his companion. "It's not that funny!"
The words where said in a exasperated manor and a very serious tone of voce, and would- if they were not in such a squeaky higher tone- would have snaped (Y/N) out of it. Unfortunately for him, they were, and his companion doubled over again in a fit of giggles.
"It's just- just- just you always have like a deep, serious voice and you go on and on about life and death choices all the time. You look so adorable with your little attack eyebrows and scowl. And- And-"
The doctor covered his ears, preparing for another onslaught of chuckles, but was sorely unprepared for the look of adoration in (Y/N)'s eyes.
"Now you're just my personal little Cynamon roll." Very carefully and softly his companion lifted him off the TARDIS console and cupped him in there hands as if they held the world's greatest most prized treasure. "My own tiny pocket doctor." Mystified glossy (Color) eyes filled with acceptance looked at the Timelord with an immeasurable amount of love. "If anything, and I do mean anything, happened to you now, I would kill everyone on this planet and then myself."
For a few moments the doctor was entirely content with being 5 centimeters tall, just absorbing the warmth that flooded his body that radiated from your fingertips, along with the metaphorical kind that flew to his hearts when he saw the smile that he would have destroyed galaxies for.
(Y/N) did not want to break the spell of silence that had befallen them but knew the world waiting outside needed them and hesitantly spoke. "Alright, how do we fix this?"
The doctor snaped out of his wonderful trance and started pacing around (Y/N)'s hand. "Ok, OK- let's see. I was hit with an de-molecular phaser-gun-thing that acted as a size altering ray, hence me being as tall as your thumb." turning quickly on his feet the doctor pointed at the alien device that you assumed turned him into this fragile state.
"Bring me over there!"
The steps where quite easy for you, but your pocket doctor almost fell out of your hand and into the abyss, completely unprepared to have the ground shift and change so quickly.
"Slowly! I'm not nearly as durable as I was."
So, from that point on (Y/N) was excruciatingly careful to protect their treasure from any harm. The doctor hopped off his companion's hand and onto the desk with the phaser gun. "Now the thing about an old device like this is that I got it from a little shop. I love a good shop!" (Twelve your eleven is showing)
"I love shops too doctor, but what does this have to do with the shrink ray?"
"It means good old devices always have a way to reverse their effects if you re-hardwire them correctly. I need you to grab the sonic glasses and set them to setting 4."
"Alright now what?"
"Now I need you to press the button and think about the suspended animation power cells being reversed to create an opposing effect."
"How am I supposed to do that?"
"Just think about reversing the shrinking, and the screwdriver will do the rest."
(Y/N) slowly, as to not terrorize her pocket doctor, did as they were told and yelped when the machine sort of half exploded and simultaneously burst into flames.
"I said reverse it, not blow it up!"
"Sorry, I was too busy thing about how we all die in the end! I'll try not to overthink next time!"
The doctor facepalmed his tiny little head and sighed, muttering a few curses in his native tongue. Silence fell over the room once more, this time filled with panic and dread of what had to happen next.
"Doctor, we need to help them, the scyorax I mean. they're still being hunted by the daleks out there."
"I know."
"Come on, you can ride in my jacket pocket doctor, but we need to save them. We can worry about this mess later, but right now we need to help these aliens in need of rescuing."
"Allright, I suppose this can wait."
The thrill of the unknown filled your veins, and you were sure at that you looked like a junkie chasing after an adrenalin rush. without a moment's hesitation you snatched the oncoming storm and placed him in your left trench coat pocket and opened the TARDIS doors in utter delight.
"Ready to pretend to know what where doing, talk quickly, hope something happens and take credit?"
From the corner of your eye, you can see your pocket doctor with scraggily grey hair peep his head out from your coat and smile.
"Always."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope you enjoyed! if you want you can ask for a part two, but if not, I'm just going to keep this as a stand-alone one-shot.
P.S. I also take requests if any of you lovelies have ideas :)
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howlingday · 1 year
Text
Knightshade Signals
Jaune: Hey, guys! (Sits down) How's your morning going?
Ruby: Fine.
Yang: Can't complain.
Nora: I ate a spider!
Ren: It was a pancake in the shape of a spider.
Pyrrha: Did your tie give you a lot of trouble?
Jaune: Uh, just a little bit. Say, where's Blake?
Yang: She was reading this morning, but she said she'd be down. Oh, and speak of the Grimm.
Blake: Good morning. (Sits down) Did everyone sleep well?
Pyrrha: I slept just fine.
Nora: Same.
Ren: Nora kicked me.
Jaune: I kind of got to bed late, but I slept pretty good, and woke up just fine.
Blake: I see. I also slept well.
Yang: Uh, are you sure you're not still sleepy?
Blake: No. Why do you ask?
Yang: Well, you're sitting awfully close to Vomit Boy.
Blake: Hm. So I am. I'm not invading your space, am I?
Jaune: No, not really.
Blake: That's good.
Ruby: (Thinking) Huh... She is sitting pretty close. But if Jaune's okay with it.
---------------------------------------------------
Blake: (Opens the door) Sorry I'm late. Professor Ozpin wanted to have a word with me.
Oobleck: Yes, yes. He informed me well beforehand. Please take your seat.
Blake: Yes, Doctor. (Sits next to Jaune)
Jaune: Glad you made it.
Blake: I'm glad to be here.
Pyrrha: (Glances over, Thinking) Was it just me, or did Jaune's eyebrows just raise at seeing Blake? Ah, I'm overthinking things, I'm sure.
---------------------------------------------------
Blake: (Taps Jaune's shoulder) Jaune.
Jaune: Huh? Wha?
Blake: You fell asleep.
Jaune: Oh, yeah... Sorry, I was studying and, uh...
Blake: It's fine. The lunch bell just rang.
Jaune: (Yawns) Did Professor Port notice me?
Blake: (Holding Jaune's hand) No, he was telling us how he killed a Deathstalker with his bare hands again.
Jaune: Oh, that one. I like that one.
Blake: It's one of his better stories.
Port: Hmph! (Thinking) To think the lad could sleep during study time! But he has such a dear friend to guide him right. And one who keeps her hands soft yet firm on him! Ah, the summer day springtime of youth...
---------------------------------------------------
Nora: Jaune, have you seen my fork collection?
Jaune: (Reading) Isn't it under your desk drawer?
Nora: No, that's the spoon diorama.
Jaune: Have you tried the closet corner?
Nora: Nope, not yet. Thanks, Jaune!
Jaune: No problem.
Nora: Hey, Blake.
Blake: Hello, Nora. Hello, Jaune.
Jaune: (Looks up from reading) Hey, Blake.
Blake: Jaune, have you seen Weiss around anywhere? Or Ruby? Yang's down in the gym, working on arm day with Sun.
Jaune: Is Neptune with them?
Blake: I think so.
Jaune: Weiss probably isn't far away, then. As for Ruby, well, she's probably over with them, too.
Blake: I'm not sure how I missed them.
Jaune: They can be pretty sneaky. Need some company?
Blake: I was about to ask you the same thing.
Jaune: I won't say no to it.
Blake: I was going to say that, too.
Nora: (Thinking) That's weird. Why didn't he talk that much with me? Wait, what was I- Oh, right! Closet corner!
---------------------------------------------------
Jaune: (Arms crossed) I'm telling you guys. I'm an open book; you can ask me anything.
Ruby: Okay! What's the best video game?
Jaune: Ninja Kung-Fu Ultimate Deathslayer 2 in my opinion.
Ruby: Eh, the first one was better.
Yang: Who do you have a crush on?
Jaune: W-Well, uh, I did like Weiss for a while.
Weiss: Ugh! Moving on. Where are you from?
Jaune: Around South Vale, a little village named Ansel. Anything else?
Blake: How are you today?
Jaune: Hm... (Opens arms, Rest hands behind head) Ah, well, my morning was kinda off, but I feel like I'm picking up.
Blake: That's good.
Yang: (Thinking) Why'd he bring his arms up like that? Heck, why were they crossed in the first place?
---------------------------------------------------
Blake: (Sighs) So much for simple field training. (Plucks debris off her outfit)
Jaune: (Rolls up sleeves) Yeah, and I don't know how they got inside, but they did, and I'm itchy.
Blake: You should wear something to cover your wrists better.
Jaune: Would they get stuck on your wrists?
Blake: No. See?
Jaune: (Takes wrist, Turns) Huh... Guess not. Oh, but you do have something here.
Blake: Where?
Jaune: On your neck. Do you mind if I...?
Blake: Sure. (Lifts chin)
Jaune: Yeah, see? It was just a... little... (Flushes) Anyway, we should get back to the others and-
Blake: Jaune, wait.
Jaune: Y-Yeah?
Blake: Do you... like me?
Jaune: I, well, uh...
Blake: I'm not asking for anything big and complicated. Simply yes or no.
Jaune: Y-Yeah, I do like you.
Blake: I see. (Pecks his cheek, Blushes) Then I guess the feeling is mutual.
Jaune: Yeah, I guess it is. Oh, and Blake?
Blake: Yes?
Jaune: (Pecks her cheek) To, uh, get you back.
Blake: (Smiles) That's fair.
Ren: (Watching from afar, Thinking) I knew it.
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shankschewtoy · 1 year
Note
hi idk if ur requests are open or not so if they are feel free to ignore.
but i am like super sick rn, like running on a fever of 102. can u write little drabbles ab how luffy, zoro, sanji, and/or law taking care of their really sick s/o🥺
a/n - omg no way we can be sick together 😭 Aw im so sorry you’re not feeling well- I hope you feel better soon!! I hope these help a little :)
Warnings ⚠️ - none, g/n reader, modern au
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- Zoro doesn’t really understand the concept of being sick, but he hates seeing you not feeling great or in pain/uncomfortable
- “y/n- that fever’s not that bad.” It was bad.
- don’t worry about schooling this guy, Nami and Chopper got it under control 👍
- when he came back he was beaten up btw lol
- “I’m sorry y/n- so do you need anything?” His cheek’s all swollen so he can barely talk 😭
- he seemingly cannot get sick so you can cuddle him all you want! he runs a bit warm so it’s super nice when you feel that chill in your body
- he won’t train for a day just to make sure you’re getting better! he can’t even think about letting you try and deal with it on your own- it kinda gets annoying and slightly creepy tho
- He doesn’t really know what else to do other than to sit by you and literally just- stare?
- “Zoro please stop staring at me- it’s not that helpful..”
- “Where else am I supposed to look?!”
- give him some time- he’ll get better as you go lmao
- he always gets worried when you start napping. What if you don’t wake up again? What if you died in your sleep and he didn’t know?
- he’s checking your heartbeat every couple minutes- and sometimes he wakes you up lol
- it’s not a great nap- but he’s trying his best! He really cares and never wants anything bad to happen to you
- he decided to go to the internet to try and make you feel better faster
- “cold cure what”
- “acupressure?”
- “when should I take s/o to doctor”
- “is my s/o dying?”
- “advil what?”
- “what is high fever?”
- “should I call 911?”
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- knows your sick before you even start feeling it- he can sense the virus lmao
- will not leave your side. ever
- “Sanji- i just have to go to the bathroom.”
- “I can go with you-!”
- “No!”
- he’s just worried is all hehe
- he’ll make you chicken soup, miso soup, any soup! all of his cooking has healing properties :)
- don’t worry about him getting sick! he won’t let you worry because he’s already sitting there giving you everything you want/need and more
- cuddles? Of course!
- blankets? was that a question?
- movies? YES
- don’t even think about getting out of bed- he’ll get everything for you!
- he’d clean up all your tissues after you blow your nose, leave it all to him! 💜💜
- sadly hes that one guy who overthinks things and looks up sicknesses on the internet. He started to freak out once he saw the answers he got
- this is his search history
- “runny nose, coughing, fever?”
- “what is HIV?”
- “HIV death rate”
- “HIV contagious?”
- “hiv transmission how?”
- “did I give s/o hiv from cum?”
- I’m sorry I’ll stop
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- he really really loves you, but he doesn’t really want to get sick???
- he’s a doctor, so he for sure knows exactly what to do! Cold towel on the forehead, Tylenol for the fever, dayquil for the sniffly nose and sore throat!
- he’ll get you stacks of water bottles and will threaten to shove them down your throat if you don’t drink them by the end of the day
- asshole will have full mask and rubber gloves on when he comes into the room with chicken soup and vitamin c pills
- he peels fruit really fast so don’t hesitate to ask him for some! He’ll be back in seconds with a whole plate of freshly peeled fruit! Especially some nice tangerines from Nami’s tree, very rich in vitamin c he says
- that one guy who’s spraying the whole house, all the doorknobs you’ve touched and everything
- won’t hesitate to drink Lysol if he has to
- it lowkey feels kinda bad 💀
- BUT- he still doesn’t leave the house, he can’t think abt leaving you by yourself when you’re sick like this
- so he’ll figure out how to mobile order stuff (I don’t picture him doing well with doordash)
- this would be his search history
- “Lysol big pack”
- “how does target mobile order work?”
- “accidentally bought at wrong store help”
- “why is Linda coming to my house with a white voltswagon”
- “says they’ll be here in 5 minutes”
- “intruders in my house”
- also he’ll make tea for you :)
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a/n - I hate sore throats so much 💀
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why-me-marti · 1 month
Text
I actually wrote this for a different fandom but it's dead now so I changed it to some sort of hurt/comfort one shot for Sam and Darlin not in their prime universe/no powers AU. It is also slightly unedited. Enjoy :)
~~~~~
I'm okay (Sam/Darlin)
969 words
Tank has a minor injury but is stubborn about patching it up themselves. Sam is a hot doctor but wants to help.
~~~~~
I barely manage to get the bandage behind my back with my aching arms before I hear a knock on my bedroom door. My temporary bedroom door, at least.
"Hey, are you alright in there?"
I recognise Sam's voice as he speaks from outside the room.
Of all people to check up on me, why him? He'll probably just lecture me about throwing myself into danger like that again.
I managed to get away from everyone for a few hours, saying that I'll handle the aftermath of the fight myself before anyone bombarded me with fake empathy and useless questions. But I guess I can't run away forever.
"I'm okay," I grunt as I accidentally let go of the bandage in my left hand and whisper a soft curse at my inability to do basic first aid in this condition.
The bandages hang loosely in my grip. I can still hear Sam behind the door in his usual silent contemplation. I begin to attempt to wrap myself once more but he must've heard my struggle so he asks, "Are you sure? You've been in there for quite a while."
If only Sneaks wasn't suddenly called into work, they would've helped patch me up. After much thought, I decide it's either I remain stubborn and spend the rest of the early hours of the morning struggling, or I begrudgingly ask for help. Eventually, I invite Sam inside.
He closes the door behind him and I can see his reflection in the full length mirror in front of me. I see him gazing at my back as if to memorise every last wound and scar. While avoiding my eyes in the mirror, he walks towards me and his chest is now close to my back. I can almost feel his heartbeat.
"Come on. I'll help you on the bed."
I hand him everything he needs before I sit down first. Sam follows suit and is positioned behind me, the closeness from earlier returning. I'm basically half naked in front of him but I take a deep breath. I shift a little under his gaze but I try not to overthink anything. Although I've calmed down, I feel goosebumps on my skin as he applies the antiseptic cream to my wound. It doesn't sting as much as it used to.
"Could you lift your arms for me?" he asks, softly.
I do as he says and he reaches in front of me to wrap the bandages around my stomach and then my back. He repeats the process, and here and there he asks if he's hurting me or if the bandages are too tight. I say that I'm okay and this time I actually mean it.
He is quick but gentle, evidence of his knowledge and expertise in the field. His fingertips lightly touch my exposed skin every now and again but is gone before I can even think. Once he is finished, I help him pack everything back into the box.
I reach for my shirt at the foot of the bed but before I can put it back on, I suddenly feel his hand on my skin again. His touch is light and tender, his fingers splaying out across my back. My breath hitches in my throat and I stop everything I'm doing. I'm frozen in my spot, my hands slightly clenching my shirt.
"Don't..." He trails off and sighs.
In moments like these I wonder what he's thinking. It's like he doesn't want to say something wrong or out of place. Or perhaps he doesn't want to say something that'll make me feel guiltier than I already do. His voice drops to a whisper and is softer than it was earlier.
"Don't do something like that again. Please," he begs, his fingers tracing my old scars. "You worry me when you do things like this. I know this isn't necessarily the life you wanted to choose but please, do look after yourself. I won't always be here to take care of you."
His warmth leaves me as he retracts his hand and I am left feeling cold once more. He gets up from the bed and I look at him. Getting a proper glimpse at him now, I stare at his side profile and admire his features as he gathers his things.
The moonlight highlights his sharp jaw and softly caresses the curves of his cheekbones. His hair is messy and his eyes look more tired compared to when we first met. Sam turns to me once more and scans my face. I do the same, staring back at him.
His brown eyes remind me of the soil and the trees. Just like the earth, he too is beautiful.
There's tension in the air and Sam looks torn as he decides whether he should go or stay. Before it gets awkward, he slowly turns on his heels and continues towards the door.
"Thank you, Sam."
In all the time that I've known him, I've never really had to thank him for anything, so hearing me utter these words must've been a shock to him. It is evident in the way he stops just short of the doorway and refuses to turn back to look at me.
From where I sit, I can see him smile lightly and say, "You're welcome."
Sam closes the door behind him and I am once again left with my own thoughts. In this moment, I forget about my scarred back or my aching arms or my inability to do basic first aid in this state. Sam's touch lingers even when I put my shirt back on and even when I get into bed. I fall asleep with ease, feeling truly okay for the first time in years.
~~~~~
I wrote this for a different fandom and pairing so it doesn't completely match the two of them but that's ok :) it's also the reason why this is written in the first person POV and not the usual third person that I usually write in
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tiredthingbehindyou · 3 months
Text
The Show Must Go On
(Part 1 'The Curtain Call')
At a gathering of all Furina's closest friends, including you and Neuvillette, Furina was being celebrated for her 574th birthday. Now that she was fully human, that was about equivalent to a normal human’s 74th birthday.
She was getting older, her hair was now a light, silver gray, she now had wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, she now had gray hairs around her scalp. She was indeed aging now… Just as Focalors said she would.
Despite her age, Furina’s party was quite the sight, with all of her friends gathering to see her. She was surrounded by love now, and that was all she ever asked for.
"How you doing, oldie?” You ask as you ruffle her silver hair. You hadn’t changed in appearance in the slightest.
You still remember when Furina burst into your house, yelling about her first gray hair among the white and blue. She seemed so happy that you forced yourself to hold back the tears at the first signs of your friend finally, truly aging.
Furina giggles, her hair was indeed beginning to feel quite thin and soft... but she was still as sweet as she was back then. She looks up at you, with her signature dimples on her cheeks.
"Oh, I am aging, aren't I?" She asks playfully, leaning up into your touch. "How have you been doing all these years, my dear?”
“I’m still kicking Neuv’s ass in board games. He’s got the heart, but always overthinks.” You chuckle and wrap your arm around your less-dramatic-than-usual friend. She had slowly started to do fewer and fewer stunts as her muscles weakened and her bones protested.
“How have you and Neuvillette been getting along?” Furina asked, nuzzling into your embrace. It was so warm in your arms, and she often needed to wrap a blanket around herself now.
You pause and whisper, "...comforting each other about your inevitable passing. You're getting older, Furina. You don't have many years left. Neuvillette and I are immortal; we stay on Teyvet forever, but you'll pass on through the gate."
"And do you know what?" Furina smiled brightly. "I'm okay with that. After all, what's the point of being immortal if you don't know what death feels like? I have lived over 500 years, and I'm okay with passing on."
"So don't be sad, okay?" She laughs softly. "I have lived such a happy life, filled with joy, laughter, love, and even a little bit of sorrow... I am so happy, I don't want you to be sad when I finally leave."
She grabbed your hand and led you deeper into the depths of the party. “For now, let’s party! Neuvillette pulled some strings and managed to get a bard all the way from Mondstant. The graying red-head who also delivered the alcohol said the bard was a drunkard.”
You pause and glance at Furina. “The doctor said you’re not supposed to drink, Furina!”
The old lady cackled in amusement and let go of your arm. She dashed deeper into the crowd much faster than she should’ve been able to, leaving you scrambling to head to the wine table, trying to stop her before she got drunk.
Nobody wanted to have to drain her house for the 6th time.
Furina lay on her bed, weak, frail, and ill... Her hair gray and soft, her face gaunt, and the lines on her face very pronounced, she was, finally, a fragile being.
It was a bittersweet sight to see, but Furina was content, despite how poorly she felt.
You and Neuvillette were sitting by her bedside, waiting, watching over her.You hold her hand softly as tears well up in your eyes. "It's okay, my dear... You can pass on now. We're ready. You don't need to stay for us."
"Don't cry, my dear..." Furina giggled softly, her voice growing soft, frail, she was weak. "I am not so scared anymore... I've accepted it... I'm no longer afraid of death."
"In fact, the only thing I am scared of now... is you and Neuvillette not being by my side when I go..." Tears began to stream down her face as she continued to grasp your hand. "Stay with me... Until the end..."
"We're here," Neuvillette said as he gripped his cane. "We'll be here until the end."
Furina smiled softly, her eyes growing misty, Neuvillette's voice was as comforting and tender as a feather. Furina looked at both of you as you sat by her side.
"Thank you..." she said softly, clutching their hand, squeezing it tightly. Her breath grew shallow, and you could hear the steady sound of her heart monitor.
These were her last moments alive...
As time passed by, Furina's grave had been made. A simple stone engraved with a simple epitaph.
Furina
An Actress with the soul of a Goddess,
A Goddess with the soul of an Actress,
May she live on in this world
Two people had gathered for Furina's grave, with candles and baskets of flowers placed around the area. Neuvillette and you were the two who stood by her grave.
"I must admit something," you say to Neuvillette, ashamed.
"What is it, dear?" Neuvillette asked softly, his voice as kind and tender as ever. There was no way to be ashamed in front of him. He would love you no matter what.
"I've forgotten her face," you admit. "I can't quite remember the shade of her eyes or the shape of her nose. The way her lips quirked up into a smile during interesting court cases escapes me."
Neuvillette takes a deep breath and pats your shoulder. "I too struggle with the same problem... But that does not mean she is not in our hearts."
He pauses for a moment before continuing. "We may not remember all of her traits, but we remember who she was, do we not? We remember her laugh, her smile, her quirky attitude, and we will always remember her."
He squeezes your hand softly. "And that is what matters..."
"I know," you whisper. "But it's like the memories are just out of reach. So agonizingly close that I can almost remember those things about her..." You trail off, letting your words hang in the air.
Neuvillette chuckles softly and places a hand on your shoulder once more. "And the harder you try to remember, the further they slip away from your grasp. Such is life..." He continues to smile softly, but you begin to realize even Neuvillette has forgotten some of Furina's traits, perhaps even more than you have…
"I think... I think her gravestone has been beaten up by the elements too much again." You kneel down and trace your fingers over the fading letters. "We should make her a new one again."
Neuvillette looks down, seeing the same thing as you are seeing, seeing how her gravestone has been damaged once more. But he sighs softly, patting you on the back.
"She deserves nothing less... we shall make her a new one." Neuvillette nods softly, a small smile playing on his lips as he offers his hand to help you up.
You let out a weak sob and punch the ground next to the tombstone. "You dumbass! Why?! Why did it have to be you?! If it wasn't for Celestia, Focalors wouldn't have had to sacrifice herself! And then you would still be here, Furina!"
"Shh, shh, it's all alright, my dear." Neuvillette gently placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you as your sobs became worse. “If Furina could hear you right now, she would laugh and reprimand you for crying over her death."
"She wants you to be happy, not in tears and sorrow, she would definitely say to you, 'Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.'" Neuvillette chuckles softly, squeezing your shoulder tightly.
"You don't know that!" You snap, standing up and grabbing his robes in a fit of rage. "She isn't here! We don't know what her stupid face that neither of us can remember would say!"
Neuvillette pauses, letting you grab his robes as you lash out. "Perhaps you are right. Perhaps we will never know. Perhaps it is stupid to even have an idea of what she might have said."
"Yet... I know what she would want for us," Neuvillette's voice became tender once more. "She would want us to smile, to live our lives happily. As we mourn, we can not let our hearts be clouded and filled with grief and sorrow. Otherwise..."
He paused once more.
You let go of his robes and sat down next to the gravestone. "You can head back to the city. I'll stay here for a bit."
"If you... wish to stay in privacy, I shall take my leave... but may I first say something before I do so?" Neuvillette asks softly, looking at the gravestone while he waits for you to give him permission to speak.
"What?" You ask, irritated as you gently caress the grave of your closest friend.
"I just... wanted to tell you… That... I am glad it was you and not someone else..." Neuvillette pauses for a long moment, as if he is trying to find the right words.
"I... I'm glad it was you who got to be with her for all those years... Furina was... very lucky to have you by her side..."
Neuvillette looks at you, his expression solemn, there was little to no happiness in his eyes, as he slowly begins to walk away.
You close your eyes and lay on the ground in front of the gravestone once Neuvillette leaves. "...you idiot..."
The rain continues to fall, but you no longer care. The mud of the ground became wet from the rain and your tears, but you could not bring yourself to move.
"It's been centuries, Furina," you whisper. "And I'm starting to forget. Forget things about you. Things I shouldn't've forgotten."
You wrap your arms around her gravestone. "I miss you, you fucking bitch."
You let out a loud, bitter laugh through your tears. "I miss you... You stubborn, quirky, adorable, annoying, beautiful, gorgeous fool... I miss you. I miss you a lot."
Even as you insult her, you can't help but get this stupid smile on your face now, thinking back to all the memories you have made with her.
"I miss you, Furina..."
"You should be here, with your arm around me. We should've been talking about the last crazy trial. This should be one of those moments where we danced in the rain together." You sob loudly as you stumble over your words.
"If I had just one wish... It'd be that you didn't have to be gone. You should be here. With me. With Neuvillette. Helping us judge those stupid cases brought to court."
"And after those cases, we'd go get something sweet to eat. But Neuvillette and I had to make sure you didn't eat too much or else you'd go on one of your little...sprees."
"You would probably eat too many sweets and then go crazy and do something stupid, yeah... You would still be here, making Neuvillette and me have to constantly play nanny and stop you from doing something dumb... But in the end we would laugh, we would be so happy..."
Tears stream down your face as your heart yearns for her presence once more. "I want to hold you and laugh with you.. I want to joke with you... I want to live life with you... I want it all back, just one more time..."
You kiss her gravestone before falling asleep at the base of it.
The ghost of Furina looked at you. She saw the way you tried to keep yourself together as you kissed her grave and spoke so sorrowfully...
She also heard the words you were whispering, how you wanted nothing more than to hold her and feel her warmth and laugh with her more.
Furina slowly walks forward and hovers above your face, her long, silver-gray hair blowing softly from the winds of the rain. She gently placed a translucent hand on your cheek.
It was all she could do for you now...
And it was enough.
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babymetaldoll · 1 year
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Baby, I'm yours - Chapter four: "One love, one house (no shirt, no blouse)"
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Summary: Reader and Spencer visit his mother and talk about their relationship. The team is not ready to go back to work after Prentiss' death, but they'll have to do it anyway. 
Word count: 8,4K
Warnings: Just a lot of fluff and Spencer overthinking everything. 
A/N: Hey guys! Thank you for your feedback! I'm glad you are enjoying this sequel, 'cos I'm already planning the third and final part of this trilogy. 
Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel’s Masterlist
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(Y/N)'s point of view
I always loved visiting Diana. Not just 'cos Spencer got incredibly happy to see his mom, but because I enjoyed our time with her. She was an XV-century literature teacher, of course, it was incredibly interesting talking with her. We could ramble about books for hours. But I always let them alone for a while, so they could have their private conversations. That was my plan that day after we landed and got settled in the hotel. Spencer had confirmed the visit with his mom and the facility, so they were expecting us after lunch.
- "Do you think she is gonna be happy when we tell her?"- I held Spencer's hand as we stepped inside the main hall of the asylum and walked straight to reception.
- "Of course, she will, why?"
- "'Cos, well, she loves you so much. I don't want her to think I am stealing her son."
Honestly, I don't know where that insecurity came from, but my comment was an honest reflection of my fear. Spencer smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist as we walked.
- "Don't think that. She already loves you like a daughter, she is gonna be thrilled with the news."
Spencer smiled and, for a moment, I was hypnotized by his big chocolate eyes, staring at me as if I were a princess or a goddess. Spencer would always look at me like that whenever he felt honestly and utterly happy Until a nurse greeted us and we turned to stare at her, blushing.
- "Doctor Reid, Miss (Y/L/N), Diana has been expecting you."- she announced and Spencer held my hand tight. I don't know if he was afraid I might run the other way or if he needed reassurance that I was, in fact, standing next to him. Whatever the reason was, I squeezed his hand and smiled when he turned to look at me.
We walked to the backyard, apparently, Diana was outside enjoying the afternoon sun. I imagined how those visits would be in a few years. If Spencer and I ever got married and had children, they would run and hug their nana the second we entered the facility. And Spencer would follow them to make sure they didn't get into trouble. That was a scene that warmed my heart and gave me butterflies in my stomach. I wondered if Spencer pictured a future with me as well.
- "Spencer! (Y/N)!"- Diana saw us and raised her arms from her chair. Her son quickly leaned and hugged her as I waited my turn to say hello.
- "Hi mom. Sorry we are late, the flight was delayed"
- "I've told you, those apparatus are a coffin with wings"- she argued immediately and I chuckled, thinking about the first time I met her and how scared she was of flying.
- "(Y/N)! What a delight!"
- "Hey Diana! I'm so glad we finally made it. I'm sorry it took us so long to visit, things have been... busy."
Spencer and I had agreed not to tell her mother about Prentiss. It was an unnecessary pain we didn't want to put her through, she would get worried knowing Spencer was sad, and for once, we wanted to focus on the good part of life.
- "We got you this"- Spencer opened his satchel and gave her mother the Henry Bradshaw book we found in an old bookstore that he remembered her mother reading for him when he was a kid. Diana's eyes lit up when she opened it and started reading it right away.
Her health was much better than the first time I saw her. In the last few trips, we have seen her more joyful, even independent. Apparently, the doctor had found the pills that worked, and even Diana was glad of the result.
- "So mom, (Y/N) and I have some news to share with you"-Spencer smiled and held my hand- "(Y/N) and I started dating"
- "Yes darling, I know. You've been dating for years, that's not breaking news. If you are here to tell me you set a date, that would be news"- Diana didn't even take her eyes from the book to dismiss Spencer's announcement. It broke my heart in a way. I thought she would be happy to know I was dating her son.
- "No, mom. We were friends until a few weeks ago. We weren't dating before"
- "Come on! I know you think I'm crazy, but how can you expect me to believe that? You two have been in love since the first time I met her at your work! Are you seriously telling me you just started dating? Please, Spencer!"
- "Actually Diane, that's exactly what happened. We were in love the entire time, but neither of us said anything for all these years."- I whispered, embarrassed, and cut her a smile- "I was too scared I'd ruin our friendship if I confessed my feelings, 'cos I was sure he didn't feel the same and apparently, that's how Spencer felt as well"
Mrs. Reid looked at us from her book, raising an eyebrow. I swear I could feel her judging me for my choices, and at the same time trying to read if I was lying. Profiling a profiler, that's never a good idea.
- "Are you trying to tell me the government hired two dimwits like you and let them protect the country?"- Spencer's face went pale, not knowing how to answer that. He still held my hand and turned to look at me, completely out of words.
- "In fact... yes?"- I smiled innocently and prayed for a good reaction.
- "Oh god, kids. All these years wasted? I am ready to be a grandmother already!"- Diana chuckled and shook her head- "But, at least it happened and I am glad you are finally together. I've always considered you family, (Y/N). And I know you have taken care of my son all these years."
- "Thank you, Diana. He has taken care of me as well"- I felt Spencer caressing my hand as I spoke and turned to him smiling for a second.- "Now, what do you say I leave you two for a while and I pick you up for dinner at six?"- I said as I stood up.- "I am sorry but I really need a nap and a hot shower after that flight."
Diana stood up suddenly, and awkwardly, but sweetly wrapped her arms around me. It took me by surprise, but I welcomed her and even felt her kiss my cheek.
- "Thank you for loving my boy"
- "No, thank you for raising him to be my perfect match"- she chuckled and wiped off some tears from her eyes.
- "Now please get married and give me lots of grandchildren"
Spencer's point of view
After I walked (Y/N) back to the car, I joined my mother for a chess game in her room. She caught me up with all her medical stories in the facility, and how great she had been feeling in the last few months. I told her all about how (Y/N) and I ended up dating, the horrible weeks I spent thinking she was dating James, and how even our unit chief was trying to hook us up. She laughed and continued telling me she couldn't believe (Y/N) and I had been just friends for so long, considering even she knew we were in love ever since day one.
- "What can I tell you, mom? Your son is kinda blind when it comes to women"
- "Well, now you know your mother is not blind. I noticed she loved you since the first time you introduced us. She has always looked at you like you are the only person in the whole world."- I blushed and looked down at my hands for a moment.
- "Thank you for your support. (Y/N) was very worried you wouldn't approve."
- "Why wouldn't I? She is amazing, smart, funny and she loves you. What else can I ask for?"- I shrugged and mom stood up.
- "I've always imagined when this time would come"- she said as she went through a drawer, taking out a small jewelry box- "I remember my grandma wearing this ring. She always looked so elegant and refined. She gave it to me before she passed and I never found a moment in my life to wear it. Please, I want (Y/N) to have it."
I widened my eyes as I stared at my mom handing me a three-stone diamond ring I never knew she had. She was right, she never wore it, I would have remembered a ring that big.
- "Mom... it's beautiful. (Y/N) is gonna... I don't think I've ever seen her wearing a ring like this before."
- "I'm sure she'll love it. You have to tell me everything about the moment you give her this ring."- I frowned and held the jewel between my fingers. I had never had a diamond in my hand before.
- "You are not going to give it to her yourself? Mom, if it was your grandma's, she would love to hear the entire story."
- "Spencer, it's an engagement ring!"- mom looked at me as if I couldn't comprehend the words she was saying. Which was, in fact, true. I didn't. I couldn't even speak after she delivered that line. Mom was giving me an engagement ring to give to (Y/N). That was fast. Way too fast, scary, and completely out of place. (Y/N) would never accept a marriage proposal after three weeks of dating. It was insane.
- "I can hear the interlock of your brain overthinking, Spencer"- mom smiled and sat again. She moved her rook on the board. I couldn't focus on the game, of course, not after the bomb mom had just dropped.
- "What makes you think she is gonna say yes?"- I whispered after a few minutes of deep silence.
- "A mother knows. We are animals, we feel things. Besides, she is a smart woman. She loves you, and you have been together for some years now. I know you say you weren't a couple before, but you have been best friends, and that is also very important in a relationship."
I opened my mouth to argue with her words, but nothing came from my lips. I was mesmerized, staring at the ring, and trying to picture (Y/N) wearing it. I was making my best to imagine the moment I gave her a ring like that, it had to be special, magical. Worthy of her. How could I propose? I never imagined that part before.
Yes, I had fantasized about a future with her, but never with the "Would you marry me?" moment. Never. Somehow it felt awkward to even think about it at the minute.
- "Spencer? Are you listening?"- mom waved her hand in front of my eyes and took me from my thoughts.
- "Sorry, I just..."
- "You were lost in your fears"
- "Not just fears. I just never imagined this moment before. I can picture a future with her, it's what I want the most. But I never thought I would have the chance to take this step."
- "My boy."- I felt her hand on my cheek as she smiled, staring into my eyes for a moment, the same way she did when I was a kid and woke up scared after a nightmare- "You don't have to imagine or know everything before you live it. Life has to surprise you from time to time, and you have to let your imagination go wild! Be a romantic!"
- "I am a romantic!"- I argued and mom chuckled.
- "Of course you are, Ace. So use all that emotion and intuition from your romantic side and forget for a moment about your rational fears. Do you wanna marry (Y/N)?"
- "Yes."
- "And do you wanna wait?"
- "No!"- mom smiled as her hand tapped on my cheek.
- "See? Just stop overanalyzing everything and be happy!"- I chuckled at mom's words and held her hand for a moment.
- "Thank you, mom. Really"
- "Come here and hug your mother, I just saved you a fortune with the ring!"- she laughed at her own words as I stood up and wrapped my arms around her. Having her there at that moment, and knowing she hadn't been as healthy as she was that day was priceless for me.
And so Frank's premonition was right. I was gonna propose to (Y/N). When? How? I still had no idea.
(Y/N)'s point of view
- "Do we have to do this?"- I whined as we parked outside the FBI Training Academy in Quantico. We were there because Seaver had invited us all to her graduation. She was officially an agent, and I knew Hotch had offered her a job with us. I wasn't thrilled with the idea, ergo I didn't want to be there. But Spencer held my hand, and the present we had gotten Ashley and walked me inside the main building.
- "Yes, we do. Ashley is going to be an official team member and you should- start getting along with her."
- "But I don't like her."
- "I know that, everybody knows that. But it's the right thing to do and you know it as well."- I sighed and pouted, but Spencer didn't stop walking. As soon as we entered the central hall, Penelope waved at us. She was with Morgan and Hotch. It was the first time we had seen them since that day at Rossi's after the funeral. And it was weird.
It felt as if Prentiss was going to show up any minute, excusing herself for being late, holding a cup of coffee, and telling a crazy story about how she went salsa dancing the night before and completely forgot about this event.
- "Hey lovebirds! How was your trip?"- Garcia smiled and hugged us - "Did you have fun in Las Vegas, munchkin?"
- "Yeah, it was a great trip!"- I answered and enjoyed my friend's hug.
- "What did Mrs. Reid say when you gave her the news?"- Morgan asked.
- "She didn't believe us 'cos she always thought we were already dating"- my boyfriend whispered and played with my hand between his, as our teammates stared at us, chuckling.
- "It's gonna start!"- Rossi showed up all of a sudden and clapped, clearly more excited than any of us. - "I saved you all good seats."
- "And you were the one who said we spend way too much time together"- I joked and Rossi smiled.
- "Right now it feels like it's not enough, ragazza."
And that hurt. 'Cos papa pasta was right, after what happened to Prentiss, every moment we spent together felt special. Or at least I wanted to make it special. I didn't want to waste time, I wanted to live my life and enjoy the little things. Those people sitting next to me were my family.
The next Monday we were back on duty. I wasn't ready at all, but after a long talk with Spencer, we agreed working might help us keep our minds busy from being depressed. Also, I knew our work helped us save lives, and that always made me feel better.
But I wasn't ready to walk back into the BAU and find Prentiss' picture hanging on the wall, with all the other fallen agents. That was a low blow. Spencer walked straight back to the bullpen, but I noticed Penelope staring at the wall, so I walked over to say hello. That's when I saw it, Emily's face staring back at me.
- "This is not right"- I whispered and Garcia simply sighed- "She was way more pretty in person."
- "She was the most gorgeous woman on earth"- Penelope answered with a sad huckle- "I miss her so much."
- "Me too."
- "I took Sergio in, that baby needed a new home."
- "Emily's cat? How are you doing with him?"
- "He is a sweetheart, he loves cuddles and so far, he hates Kevin."- I smiled and rested my head on Penelope's shoulder for a bit, as we continued staring at Emily's picture.
- "Girls, you gotta stop staring at her. Prentiss wouldn't want us to sulk. You know that."- Morgan's voice nearly made us jump.
- "I'm not sulking."- Garcia argued and I rubbed my hand on her back, cutting Morgan a short smile.
- "I'm gonna put an eye on Spencer"- I excused myself and walked away slowly. If I was affected by staring at Emily's picture, I didn't want to know how my boyfriend was dealing with her empty desk.
Honestly, it was more painful than I thought. Walking in, knowing I would never see my friend again, sitting with coffee, and a juicy story of her weekend, sometimes maybe still a little hungover.
Pen had baked some cupcakes to share with Ashley, and celebrate her graduation. We ate them and drank some coffee in the meeting room before our daily briefing. It was definitely awkward, but we all did our best not to mention Prentiss, the pink elephant in the room, and just focused on talking about what we did on our week off. Morgan spent his time remodeling a new house, Pen and Sergio got to know each other and she completely "catificated" her apartment with some of her boyfriend's help.
- "Congratulations, agent Seaver."- Hotch walked in suddenly, followed by Rossi. Spencers held my arm and guided me to a chair. I turned to him and cut him a short smile as I sat down by his side.
- "Thank you."
- "Who made the cupcakes?"- David asked as he grabbed one and took a bite of it.
- "I did."- Pen answered with a proud smile.
- "Thank you all for coming to my graduation. It meant a lot."- Seaver cut me a short smile and I nodded. Yes, that was me trying to be nice.
- "Let's get started."- Hotch indicated as the rest of the team sat down and we all stopped eating to grab our case files.
- "Ok, we're going to Portland, Oregon, and it's not for a dead moon concert."- Penelope started presenting our current case- "So, Jay Johnson, a DJ, was cutting through an alley on his way home after leaving a club when he was bludgeoned by a pipe and then stabbed 31 times. His watch, his cell, and his computer were stolen. That was 2 days ago. Now, early this morning, Karen Heywood, a 30-year-old nurse. She died during a home invasion. She was stabbed 40 times, but first, she was bludgeoned with weapons of opportunity."
- "Eight different ones, to be exact."- I read out loud and raised an eyebrow.
- "That's too many weapons for one person."- Rossi added as I nodded in agreement.
- "There was a left- and a right-handed kill according to the M. E. Report."
- "Yeah, but 8 different weapons."- Rossi insisted, a little shocked.
- "So we're looking for a group."- Morgan added.
- "Yeah, it seems that way. And the left-handed wounds were deeper than the right."- Hotch pointed out from the forensic file.
- "Maybe a woman was involved?"- Spencer asked and I nearly gasped, turning to him.
- "How dare you, Reid? It might have also been a very weak man!"- I argued and he cut me the sweetest smile I had seen that day. It melted my heart in a second.
- "Sorry."
- "Anything taken from the house?"- Hotch's voice took me back to the case and forced me to focus on the files.
- "According to a neighbor, just some random stuff. A computer, some jewelry, a framed picture of a lily."- Pen listed and Morgan added
- "And pawnable items. What do we have, kill crooks? "
- "Sounds like a musical."- I smiled at Rossi's comment and continued reading my case file.
- "Similar victim, young professionals kill three miles apart."- Hotch said and sighed.
- "Is there a gang situation in Portland?"- Ashley asked and Spencer shook his head immediately.
- "Minimal. This seems more like desperate people in need of quick cash."
- "Why kill them if it's just for the money?"- she asked again, and this time Aaron replied.
- "That's what we have to find out. And we've got eight hours till nightfall. Let's go."
And just like that, we were back on the field making our best to carry out an investigation and find the killers before they strike again. During the plane trip, I sat next to Spencer and helped him with the geographical profile. But once we landed in Portland, Hotch thought it would be fun to pair me with Morgan and sent us to the supermarket where the victim had been last seen. And Spencer was paired with Ashley. Just them, alone. I took a deep breath and nodded. I couldn't argue, we were on a case and Hotch was our unit chief.
- "You are not gonna kill Seaver later when we get to the station?"- Morgan asked and I chuckled as he drove us to the supermarket.
- "Nope, why? Did you have a plan to stop me?"
- "That's good to hear, I didn't really have a plan actually"
- "Do you want a cupcake?"- I opened my backpack and opened a plastic container.
- "Where did you get those? Pen made them for Seaver."
- "She saved some for her, but she gave me a few for the trip."- I smiled at my friend and licked part of the frosting. He grabbed one and chuckled.
- "I'm glad, princess."
- "That I have sugar?"
- "No, that you are giving Seaver a chance"
- "Well, it's no fault her dad killed my aunt. And yes, her attitude at the beginning pushed me and Spencer to face our feelings, so..."- I shrugged and sighed, slightly defeated by reality- "Besides, we are not really in the mood for fighting. I am so done with that. I just want some peace after everything that happened."
Morgan placed his hand on mine and squeezed it for a second. I turned to him and saw a million emotions going down his face. All at once: sadness, anger, gratitude. But he didn't say a thing, and I didn't push him either. I just smiled and told him to slow down or we were gonna get a ticket for speeding.
Spencer's point of view
I could still see (Y/N)'s smile as she said goodbye earlier that day. I waved and watched her get in the SUV with Morgan. She held my hand for a second and wished me a good day. I promised I would text her later and she said she couldn't wait.
- "Spencer, we are here"- Seaver announced and I parked our car outside a club. I wasn't nervous about being paired with Sesaver, I knew (Y/N) was making her best to get along with her, and she trusted me.
- "So Mr. Johnson exits the nightclub through the back door to get to his car."- I said, trying to focus on the case as we walked through a short street at one side of the club, trying to find anything that might tell us more about what happened there.
- "Maybe one unsub can watch from over there and the other from back there"- Ashley said and pointed to both ends of the street.
- "Then when he gets here, another unsub hits him with a pipe and it's game on."- I conclude and start thinking how many men attacked Johnson in the middle of the night and no one saw a thing.
- "Look at the vials, Reid. This is a drug corridor."- she pointed out, and suddenly I remembered the Dilaudid bottle I still had back home. I had to get rid of that thing before I had a moment of weakness. I didn't trust myself at all with that thing around.
- "That would explain why there's so much kill. Maybe they were on something."- I said and looked at Ashley, who was trying her best to be professional on her first official day of work.
- "On the jet, I did some research into the club. A year ago, someone O.D.'D inside. Since then, new management clamped down on the partying."
- "Which means the unsubs most likely fit into this area."
- "Well, if you can't party inside, then you come out here. They're probably all the same age."- somehow, just thinking about drugs was upsetting.
- "Yeah, mid-twenties."
I had forgotten, I was a junkie in his mid-twenties, struggling to stay sober. But I couldn't think of that at that minute, I had to focus on the case and stop whoever was killing all those people.
- "Thank you for coming to my graduation"- Seaver said as I drove us back to the police station- "It really meant a lot to me."
- "We were glad to be there"- I answered and kept my eyes on the road.
- "How have you been holding on?"- she asked, out of the blue. No one had mentioned Emily the entire day, though we were all thinking about her the entire time.
- "Ok, I guess"- I replied, though I didn't want to talk much about the subject.
- "I'm sure having your girlfriend with you was very comforting these days. I mean, you both knew Prentiss very well, and I am sure you could... count on each other."
- "Yes, we do"- Seaver nodded and looked outside her window in silence for a moment. I thought she wasn't going to ask any more personal questions, but I was wrong.
- "So, are you living together already?"
- "No, we usually alternate apartments."
- "Why don't you pick one and live together?"
- "I don't know, we haven't talked about it yet."- I didn't feel comfortable speaking with Seaver about the subject.
- "And would you like to move in with her?"- I didn't want to answer, but I didn't really know how to get out of that conversation. And honestly, if I was planning to propose to her soon, shouldn't we move in together as well?
- "Yeah, I would"- I merely answered, and luckily, her phone rang and Hotch updated us with the facts of the case. It wasn't good, apparently, the unsub was a drug addict hallucinating. He was young, using, and out of control. It all pointed out that he might be a psychotic schizophrenic and to be honest, that was a second reality blow. I could be like that. During one's mid-twenty was when schizophrenia's symptoms would first appear. It had happened to my mother and I still wasn't in the clear.
That was my biggest fear, sharing her disease, her fate. Losing touch with reality now that for the first time in my life, it was a sweet one, with an even sweeter future. I hadn't even considered the idea but, what if I passed the disease to my kids, my babies with (Y/N). I would ruin their lives and hers. She would hate me, Jesus! I would hate myself for it! And the worst was knowing there was nothing I could do about it, 'cos so far, no doctor had found any sign of schizophrenia in me.
- "Honey? Are you listening?"- I turned to look at (Y/N), who was staring at me, standing outside the car- "Are you ok?"
- "Yeah, sorry, I was deep in thought."
- "I kinda figured, Seaver got out of the car ten minutes ago. Why are you still here?"
- "The unsub is hallucinating."
- "Yes"
- "He seems paranoid, on drugs and he is hurting people"- she nodded again as I kept staring at my hands, still holding the wheel.
- "What's happening in that gorgeous head of yours, honey?"
- "Nothing, I'm just trying to focus."
- "I saved you a cupcake"- she whispered and opened the car's door- "Come on, you need a cup of tea and something to eat."- and of course, I followed her. How could I resist such an invitation? But my head didn't stop working and overanalyzing every fact from the case. I couldn't stop seeing myself in that unsub.
That night I got to share my room with Morgan, which wasn't that bad. We talked about random things, none of us wanted to talk much about the case or Prentiss. So we both kept it casual. Of course, he tried to tease me with (Y/N) for a while, but I didn't say a word. That was until she knocked on our door in her pajamas, holding a cup of herbal tea.
- "Hotch is testing my strength right now!"- she argued and walked in - "Seaver has been on the phone with her mother for forty freaking minutes, telling her everything she did today. Everything!"
Morgan laughed as I wrapped an arm around my girlfriend, sitting next to her on my bed. She rested her head on my shoulder and sighed.
- "And what were you guys doing?"
- "I was about to tell Reid we should watch some tv before bed."
- "And I was going to decline that offer 'cos I still haven't finished my book today"- (Y/N) smiled at me and kissed the top of my nose.
- "But you finished the other three you have in our bag, I'm sure. Give your head a break honey. Let's watch a movie with Morgan and then I'll go to my room, hoping Seaver is done talking about everything she did today."
- "Someone should tell her she can't share any case-related information with people outside the team."- Morgan suggested, but (Y/N) simply shook her head and smiled.
- "No me my friend, I am not getting into more trouble because of her. Hotch is already done with our fights and I don't want her to tell him I am being mean again."
- "You don't have to be mean, ma cherie."
- "I know, but it kinda comes easy when I talk to her"- my girlfriend pouted and I smiled. Sometimes all I needed was to have her by my side to ease my mind for a little while.
Of course, that night wasn't easy. After we watched a very bad comedy on tv, (Y/N) went back to her room and Morgan turned off his light. I tried to read for a while, but I couldn't. Instead, I wrote a very short letter to my mom and then rolled in bed until four in the morning. Morgan's snoring didn't make it easier, and I missed (Y/N)'s body by my side, keeping me sane. I knew she was two doors down the hall, but that didn't make me feel any better. I needed her next to me, the warmth of her body, the smell of her hair. The peace that knowing I had her in my arms gave me every night had no comparison. She was all I needed to be happy, and trying to sleep alone in that cold bed was just proof of that very fact.
Morning found me already weary. I took a shower and followed Morgan downstairs to the lobby. (Y/N) was already there, holding two cups of fresh coffee.
- "How was your night?"- she whispered and kissed my lips sweetly.
- "I missed you."- my answer was honest, I didn't even try to hide my feelings.
- "I missed you too, Batsy. Now drink your coffee, you look like you need five of these."- I held her hand for a second and took in her smile, trying to record it in my brain in case anything happened. Now I knew things could go wrong, and thought I had to make an effort not to think about it, I couldn't act blind all the time.
- "Ok lovers! We get it, you are in love! Now let's get to work, I wanna catch this son of a bitch today!"- Morgan walked by our side and on his way out of the hotel. (Y/N) chuckled and kissed my cheek one more time and winked at me.
- "Hold onto that until tonight, Batsy."
That was a long day, and it didn't get much better. We started with a new murder, and all the signs kept leading us to a paranoid schizophrenic. My brain wasn't helping that day either. I just couldn't see something I was sure we were missing from the profile. I heard the team deliver all the information to the police, and all I could hear them saying kept scarring and upsetting me.
- "We believe our unsub is a white male paranoid schizophrenic who suffers from hallucinations. Since schizophrenic breaks usually occur in your early twenties, we believe he's around this age and that he lives nearby. We think this unsub is hypervigilant, and in this condition, he's unable to travel very far from his home."
Hotch's words made me frown. Could I turn into that? Was that my destiny? All those headaches I had developed before (Y/N) and I started dating, were they a sign?
- "He kills at night and is extremely violent. During the day, he's most likely a loner. Someone in this state probably can't keep a job. We believe something happened to our unsub in his childhood. Childhood voices are telling him to kill, or he's misinterpreting them as doing so."
Rossi added, and I started fidgeting with my fingers as I sat in silence at the back, not able to add anything to the presentation.
- "Our unsub has probably been coping until now, but a recent stressor brought him back to that childhood incident and is causing him to act out."- I heard (Y/N) add my mind took me back to my childhood, my mother struggling with her illness and not taking her medication as she was supposed to. I could never put my kids in that kind of situation. My kids. Would I ever be able to hold a baby of my own in my arms? Not if I was on the verge of showing schizophrenic
- "Our unsub spends his days wandering, trying to fight the desire to kill, yet he feels trapped by his hallucinations. No matter what he does or tries to do, the hallucination's power is greater than his own."
- "Because of his limited social circle as a child, it is our belief that the incident involved close friends or family. Now, once we figure out what happened when he was a kid and the stressor that recently triggered a relapse, we'll be that much closer to narrowing down the killer's identity."- (Y/N) finished talking and Hotch turned to me, waiting for my thoughts and knowledge.
- "Reid?"
- "We need you all to start searching in this area."- I slowly stood up and handed one of the detectives the map I had been working on.- "Based on previous kills, we know that he strikes at night and will not retreat until we find him."
I knew I had failed to hide my worries, Hotch noticed it, clearly, (Y/N) did as well, and when Morgan walked to me in the men's room as I washed my face, I knew he had as well.
- "You know, that profile kind of makes it sound like schizophrenia leads to serial killing."- I whispered as I dried my face with some paper towels.
- "That's not what we said at all, Reid."- Morgan walked over and stood next to me, as I turned and sat on the edge of the sink.
- "You know, my mom has schizophrenia. There are many different types: catatonic, disorganized... just because someone suffers from the inability to organize their thoughts or they can't bathe or dress themselves, it doesn't mean they'd stab someone in the chest 30 times postmortem."
Old me would have kept all that info for himself, but I was done with lies and secrets between friends. For once, I wanted to tell people how I felt. And I was scared, confused, and mostly, frustrated.
- "Reid, what's really going on?"
- "Our unsub's hallucinations aren't fractured like a typical schizophrenic. They're vivid and clear, leading me to believe that we're missing an important variable. Rather than making crazy conjectures, I think we should be trying to figure out what it is."
- "Ok, listen to me. I know this is a scary age for you. It's when schizophrenic breaks happen. Have you talked to anybody about this?"- I felt his hand on my shoulder, trying to contain me or support me. I kept my eyes down on my feet as I whispered.
- "No."
- "Have you seen a doctor?"
- "They all say I'm fine."
- "Then why don't you believe them?"
- "Because predicting one's chances of developing a genetic condition is like finding a penny in an ocean. I've had terrible headaches. I can't sleep at night. I can't focus on our cases. I only read 5 books last week."
- "Come on, kid, you gotta cut yourself some slack. You and (Y/N) just started dating, no one expects you to sleep at all."- Morgan chuckled and I cut him a short smile- "Besides, you're also depressed about Prentiss, and I get it... we all are. Reid, I miss her every day. But if your mind was splitting, do you really think you'd be able to figure out that this team is missing a variable?"
- "I'm just speculating that we are. I need to prove it."- I mumbled, clearly still frustrated.
- "Ok, then you do that. The moment you are wandering around the streets aimlessly, that's when I'll be concerned about you. Besides, your girlfriend would never let anything bad ever happen to you."- I smiled at those words as if (Y/N) could prevent a disease from attacking my brain.- "Come on, pretty boy. Let's get to work."
Of course, (Y/N) knew something was off with me. She looked at me as I walked into the room and cut me a short smile. I returned the grin and tried to reassure her I was ok. Sure, I wasn't, but I had to pretend. For work's sake at least.
- "I made you a tea"- she whispered and handed me a cup while Rossi busied himself reading some files and Hotch walked over, talking on the phone with García.
- "Thank you, ma cherie."
- "Do you need help with your geographic profile?"
- "I think I got something, actually"- I held her hand underneath the table for a moment and she gave it a little squeeze. I wanted to whisper something, but Hotch hung up the phone and I quickly turned to him, ready to finally contribute to the case.
- "You know, at the grocery store where Karen Heywood was shopping the night she was murdered, the clerk said the unsub was buying water and a lot of salt."
- "Saltwater could be used to torture his victim."- Rossi said, but I shook my head immediately.
- "Well, there's no evidence of that."- Morgan said and Ashley added
- "It could also be used to remove the victim's blood from clothing."
- "Think about this, though. The visions that schizophrenics have can be interpreted as demons. What do some people do when they think they have demons inside of them?"- I asked the group.
- "They could get an exorcism."- (Y/N) answered- "Sounds extreme, but this guy seems to be desperate"
- "Holy water is used in exorcisms."- Rossi added.
- "What about the salt?"- Seaver asked, and (Y/N) explained briefly
- "Salt is used in exorcisms and a variety of religious healings. Also in spells and wicca rituals. Now what we should do is see how many churches we can find in his comfort zone"
- "Three"- I replied and pointed at the map.
- "All right, let's see if any of them keep their doors open late."- Hotch commanded and we all stood up. At least working kept my mind busy and helped me stop overthinking, at least for a while.
(Y/N)'s point of view
It was clear something was wrong with Spencer. Schizophrenia was always a sensitive subject for him, for obvious reasons. And if the unsub was around our age, I was sure he was relating to him more than he should. Spencer wasn't schizophrenic, he hadn't presented any symptoms so far, and I knew he wouldn't. But he was worried all the time. It hunted him, like a nightmare he could never wake up from. I had always tried to ease his mind, and tell him it was all going to be ok, but under the already hard circumstances we were in, my boyfriend couldn't escape the dark thoughts.
And what was worse, I couldn't be with him that day. As soon as we reached the police station we were informed there had been another murder and Hotch asked Spencer and Morgan to go to the crime scene.
And there I was, at the police station with Seaver, talking. Yes, me, talking with her, trying to be friendly. She asked me to review the case file again, in case we were missing anything and I helped her. Hotch looked at us from the other side of the table and nodded. Of course, he was happy I was giving her a chance, and I was happy he wasn't scolding me again.
Spencer and Morgan arrived with the news: the unsub couldn't sleep, that was the missing variable. And that was all Garcia needed to give us a name and an address.
- "I looked at that list of schizophrenics that have been recently arrested in that 40-mile radius. I cross-checked it with ones that have gone to local pharmacies to get schizophrenia medication like thorazine or prolixin."- Penelope announced through the speaker. Spencer sat by my side and held my hand underneath the table, just as he had done the day before. I suppressed the smile and tried to focus.
- "Any of them have prescriptions filled for sleeping medication as well?"- Hotch asked and his voice took me back to reality.
- "Yes, one. Ben Foster. He has a prescription for thorazine and ambien."
- "What's his background, baby girl?"
- "He moved to Portland 3 years ago. A month ago he was in an apartment fire, after which he got a sleeping pill medication because his insomnia began again. When he was 10, he was questioned during an investigation about a fire that killed three people."
- "It could be part of the homicidal triad."
- "I'm looking at the police report right now. It turns out that two months before, his mom had a local minister perform an exorcism on him, and the three people who were killed in the fire helped perform that exorcism."
- "There it is! The exorcism!"- I pointed out, excited it had been true- "Pen, was he charged?"
- "No munchkin. He was acquitted in juvie court."
- "You got an address?"- Hotch closed the file case, looking rather impatient.
- "Uh, 2627 Halden way."
- "Let's go!"
- "Is your vest well adjusted?"- Spencer asked the second we got out of the SUV outside the address. I nodded and he still double-checked.
- "I'm ok honey. Nothing bad is gonna happen to me"- I whispered, taking a look around, making sure no one was paying attention to us.
- "Of course not, I am here and I'm gonna protect you no matter what."
- "Reid, you and (Y/L/N) take the side, Morgan and Seaver, the back. Rossi, come on"- Hotch commanded and in a second I had my gun in my hands and I was ready to catch our unsub. A part of me felt pity for him, he was sick, and he probably wasn't a bad person, but life had taken the best of him.
- "He is out back!"- we heard Morgan yell and the entire team started running out to the street.
I followed Spencer down the sidewalk, looking around us at any movement. The police and the rest of the team were near, trying to get eyes on Ben. But nothing. For eight minutes we got absolutely nothing. No one had seen the unsub running.
- "Hotch, we lost him"- Morgan announced through the radio. It was most likely that he had gotten into one of the houses to hide. And I knew we couldn't knock on every door in the neighborhood.
- "I think we've got something at 2218."- Hotch announced and I followed him along with Spencer to the back door.
- "Make his stop, please."- I heard Ben's voice arguing in the living room, and a little girl replied.
- "There's no one there."- my blood boiled when I realized he had two kids as hostages.
- "They're right there!"- the unsub yelled, and that's when Hotch, Spencer, and I walked into the room.
- "Ben, drop the knife."- our Unit Chief commanded. I kept my gun pointed at the unsub's face, as he grabbed the kids and pointed a knife at their necks.
- "Ben, we're not gonna shoot you, but we do need you to put down that knife, ok?"- I asked in the nicest tone of voice possible. When you are in a situation that includes kids, you have to make all you can to keep them from any traumatizing outcome.
- "All right, where are the other people in this room, Ben?"- Spencer asked slowly
- "Right there. You see him?"- the unsub pointed just where Reid was standing.
- "Right here?"- he asked and Ben nodded- "Were they there for the exorcism?"
- "I didn't kill them, though. I didn't do it! And I'm not lying!"
- "Ben, they're dead and they can't hurt you anymore."- I tried to explain, but I knew he wasn't going to understand that. He was increasingly more and more nervous.
- "They can!"
- "No, Ben. Your mind is playing tricks on you. Once you get help, it'll all stop."- Morgan said, also pointing a gun to his face.
- "Yes, you are!"- Ben argued with the imaginary people- "Yeah, ok. All right, I killed you. I set the fire!
- "Ben, listen to us. It's ok. We're gonna get you a doctor's help. I promise you that."- I tried to soothe him 'cos he was losing control, but he shook his head and tightened his grip on the kids.
- "No. The... The only way that you can help me is if you do it... If you kill me."
- "Ben, that's not true. Listen, the only way we can help you is if you put that knife down"- Spencer said as he put his gun back into his holster and raised his hands, trying to look unthreatening. I didn't hesitate, I unlocked my gun and kept it pointed at Ben as he spoke.
- "Are you sure that'll work?"
- "Oh, I'm absolutely sure of it."- Spencer replied.
- "Ok."- Ben released the kids and they ran out of the room with Seaver, that's when Ben grabbed his knife tight and ran to Spencer. But before he had taken two steps closer to him, I pulled the trigger and shoot him right in the leg.
- "We need an ambulance."- Hotch announced via radio, as Morgan kicked the knife away from Ben's hand.
- "Thanks"- Spencer whispered and walked towards me. I cut him a short smile and he held my hand.
- "I've got your back, honey. Always."- I whispered and wrapped an arm around him. I knew I was never going to hesitate, I would always pull the trigger if it meant his safety.
- "Are you ok?"- he asked and rubbed his hands kindly against my arms as we watched the paramedics take Ben outside the house straight to the ambulance.
- "Yeah, I'm ok. You?"- he just nodded and sighed. I knew something was bothering him, something his head couldn't stop overanalyzing, but he wasn't going to tell me about it, at least not yet.
- "Ready to go home?"- I asked him and he just nodded again- "I feel like cooking tonight, we deserve a nice good homemade dinner."
- "Marry me"- he said, blushing and I chuckled.
- "I'm guessing you liked the idea of me cooking then!"
- "That and you just saved my life."
- "You'd have done the same for me, honey bunny."
- "Hey, Reids! Come on! Time to go home!"- Morgan called us and we made our way out of the house.
Later that night, after a long trip and a nice dinner, Spencer and I laid on his couch, curled around each other, enjoying each other's company. He ran his fingers through my hair from time to time as I sighed in contentment, pleased to feel his scent around me as I rested my head on his chest and heard the sweet beat of his heart.
- "Do you like it here, ma cherie?"
- "I like anywhere where I can be with you, batsy."- I replied and he hummed, pleased with my answer, I guessed.
- "But, do you like my apartment?"
- "It's nice, it's so much like you, sometimes it feels like being inside your brain. I could definitely live here"- he hummed again and after a few minutes, he moved on the couch until he was looking straight into my eyes. I moved a few locks of hair from my face and he smiled, kissing the top of my nose.
- "And would you like to?"
- "What?"
- "Would you like to live here? With me?"
For a second, I didn't believe my ears. Had he actually said what I heard him say? Did he want to live with me? For real?
- "Wh... what?"
- "It doesn't have to be here, we can find somewhere new, or I can go to your apartment. I don't care where, I just... wanna live with you. I don't ever wanna wake up away from you anymore."
- "Wh... where is this coming from?"
- "My... heart?"- he answered and hesitated for a second.- "If you think it's too soon, we don't have to do it, I can wait. I just... wanna live with you."
- "I wanna live with you too"- I blurted out and sat on the couch, his body following mine in a second.
- "You do?!"- he questioned, not believing my answer- "You don't think it's too soon?"
- "I don't care if it's too soon! I wanna move in with you!"- Spencer hugged me and his lips found mine in a matter of seconds. I kissed him feverishly and felt his hands tangle on my hair as his tongue partnered my lips.
- "I love you"
- "Me more"
- "No ma cherié, no one loves anyone as much as I love you"
- "Then I'm glad we are gonna move in together, so I can prove you wrong!"
Next chapter
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thevirgodoll · 1 year
Note
Hey Doll.
I really really need your help, please.
I keep falling to be the same person. Everything is bad.
I hate how I treat people, i tried changing several times but I keep falling.
I hate the constant need to feel validated. I started doing some hobbies to enhance my self esteem, but when performing these, I am like “are they looking? They are probably laughing at me” and I turn these thoughts away with “they are no one to me, I don’t need their opinion…” but I keep failing again. It’s so hard.
Excuse the following length of my reply, as I feel passionately about this because I understand exactly what this is like. Something in your life is causing you to ruminate more than usual.
Rumination, also called repetitive negative thinking, is a thought pattern that involves repeatedly and passively focusing on the causes, consequences, and meaning of negative feelings and circumstances.
Humans are natural problem solvers, but sometimes in that we look for solutions to confirm our biases. This is where ruminative thinking begins. This is where dissonance begins. I learned in therapy and my own studies in social cognition that repetitive negative patterns are often created in our childhood out of survival, not a lack of character.
This is why it's helpful to ask:
Why am I having these thoughts?
How do I avoid this, and what is going on currently to create this thought process?
What are my triggers?
You are correct in saying that hobbies will distract from ruminating and compulsively overthinking. However, your constant judgment regarding these positive coping mechanisms will do more harm than good.
You are also correct in identifying how you treat others. It's time to ask yourself why you are so critical of yourself and others. It is also time to accept that, yes, someone else's opinion is their own and you can't control that. It is also time to ask if you project onto others because of your own self criticism or fragile ego.
Remember: Multiple things can be true at once, it's not so black or white that you are automatically an irredeemable person who can't be better. Dust yourself off and try again lol.
Your candor to admit you are falling short and wish to do better is already a sign of improvement. If you're able to admit this to me, an objective stranger, then you are already starting the process.
Try focusing on what you can control. You can only control your self concept. Sometimes, people have to be in the background... (exception: close friends and family *who are healthy in themselves* holding you accountable!)
I highly recommend identifying your triggers, and if this type of introspection proves to be more challenging than you anticipated, therapy is a solution if you have the resources. I also highly recommend journaling, as studies have proved it reduces repetitive thinking because it helps you see your thought process.
Thank you for sharing this with me. I hope this helps, and I'm rooting for you! ❤️
References:
Berman MG, Peltier S, Nee DE, Kross E, Deldin PJ, Jonides J. Depression, rumination and the default network. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2011;6(5):548–555. Harrington, J. A., & Blankenship, V. (2002). Ruminative thoughts and their relation to depression and anxiety 1. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 32(3), 465-485. LaClaire, A. (2008). The influence of journaling on the reduction of physical symptoms, health problems, and anxiety in women (Doctoral dissertation, Adler School of Professional Psychology).
Recommended:
8 Self Defeating Thoughts that Wreak Havoc
Two Things You Can Do To Stop Ruminating
My Posts:
Advice
People Pleasing
Coping Mechanisms
Journal Prompts
Answer on Rumors & Interpersonal Issues
Practices for Self Worth
Building Habits
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mischiefmanaged71 · 2 years
Text
The Love Hypothesis (18/22) - Stephen Strange x Reader
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Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is a PhD student who wants to prove to her best friend that she has moved on and dating. With no way to prove it, she kisses the first man she sees, which ends up being none other than Dr. Strange, known as one of the most unapproachable and critical professors in the university.
A/N: AU! Stephen Strange is a Professor/Doctor at Columbia University and reader is a Ph.D. student (Reader - 28, Stephen - 34). Credits to Ali Hazelwood for the original story. This work is a piece of fiction. I have no ownership over anything, this is ff.
Pairing: Stephen Strange X FEM! Reader
Word Count: 1K
Series Masterlist
Y/N spent the next day by herself in the hotel room, wallowing in the trails of what had got her into this mess in the first place; lies. She tried not to think about it too much, but the fragments of Stephen’s voice echoed in her ears, his face constantly refreshing in her mind. No matter how hard she tried, even staring at his bed opposite drew her back to him. 
Laying on her back, she breathed, running over it again. Should Tom even try to plagiarise her work, trying to rectify the situation would be difficult when he had the description of her entire work in the report. The issue was murky due to this complication. It was her, a Ph.D. student of biology, versus one of the top cancer researchers in the US. Instead of overthinking it, she focused on researching other cancer researchers in the states to try and source another scientist to support her research. By the afternoon, she had added three new names to the list and a knock sounded at the door. Sam and Natasha stormed inside.
“Okay. You’ve got ten seconds to explain why you ditched us.”
“Shit.” she cursed, looking at them apologetically, “I am so sorry. I completely forgot.”
“What have you been doing up here all day that’s got you occupied?” Natasha stared at the messy and unmade bed, the laptop open on the desk.
Y/N exhaled, “Nothing. Just some research.”
“Research?” Sam’s eyebrows perked up.
“You’re working on this trip? Why are you doing work right now when we could be doing things together?”
“I’m just-not in the mood.”
Natasha sighed, “Is there something wrong?”
“No.” she replied.
“That sounded convincing.”
Y/N pressed her lips together, “I’m trying.”
She shook her head, “It’s fine.”
Natasha crouched in front of her, “It’s not. Something is obviously bothering you. Sam and I are here. Your friends. You can tell us.”
Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest, the load of the previous days accumulating as she tried to breathe in and out. 
“Stephen and I had a fight, is all. I don’t want to talk about it.” she quickly finished, averting her eyes to the laptop as Natasha’s hand pulled her back. She wore a solemn expression, pouring empathy for her friend.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I’m always here to listen. I’m pretty good with advice too.”
Sam smiled, lightly chuckling “She likes to think.”
Nat’s hand reached out to slap him on the arm but he dodged, standing next to Y/N at the desk.
“We’re always here, okay, Y/n/n. No matter what happened with Stephen. You ask, and it’s done.”
Y/N sunk into her chair, “Thanks, but I don’t need you to hurt him, if that’s what you’re implying there.”
“Exactly why I didn’t say it.” he whispered the next bit, “But you ask and it’ll be done. He’ll be none the wiser.”
“Thanks, Sam.” she mustered a smile, turning back to the computer.
“Why don’t we go out for drinks, that’ll cheer you up.”
“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, “I just need to send my speech to Dr. Xavier and then we can go.”
“Fine.” Nat sighed, relaxing on the floor next to Sam, the pair talking over Y/N as she worked on the laptop. About a minute in, the audio file loaded and played.
“A girl like you. Who figured out so early in her academic career that sleeping with well-known, successful scholars is how to get ahead. You slept with Stephen, didn’t you? We both know you were going to do the same with me-”
Y/N slammed the spacebar, haunted by the hiss of the recording in her ears. Her heart thundered in her ears as she suddenly found it difficult to breathe, spots dancing in her vision. Natasha and Sam moved forward, the latter clutching her arm.
“What the hell was that?” he asked.
“Y/n/n?” Natasha asked, watching her friend numbly stare at the computer with a haunted look.
“I didn’t know it recorded that.” she gasped out.
“I recognise that voice...” Natasha said, standing next to Y/N, “That was Tom Pierce, wasn’t it?”
“What-” Sam glanced between them, staring at the computer, “What happened? When did this happen, Y/N?”
Y/N glanced between them, unable to come up with an answer from her constrained throat as her ability to talk halted. How do you breathe when your throat closes up?
“I...” she tried, her face crumbling as the last few days broke her resolve and she collapsed in Natasha’s arms and allowed the tears to flow freely.
***
Y/N couldn’t listen to the audio again. She’d rather sit in the bathroom, her ears plugged as she cried her eyes out, Sam and Natasha listening with her earphones to the recording. Soon enough, the pair returned to the bathroom, Natasha encircling her in her arms with teary-eyes.
“He’s a disgusting, detestable asshole who deserves the worst coming to him. Y/N, you say the word and I’ll go down there and find his ass-”
“-Does Stephen know?”
“What?” Y/N looked up from her palms wiping the tears from her cheeks,  “No, he doesn’t.”
“You need to tell him. Then the two of you need to get Pierce’s ass kicked out of academia.”
“I-I can’t.”
“Y/N. What he said is sexual harassment. There is no way Stephen wouldn’t believe you, and you have an actual recording.”
“It won’t matter.”
“Why not?”
“Because, if I tell Stephen, he’ll leave the grant. He’s moving to Harvard next year and they’re working together. This is important to him, I won’t jeopardise it!”
“He doesn’t want to move to Harvard.” Natasha stated. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. There is no way he’d want to leave you-Why are you guys looking at me like that?”
Sam sent Y/N a soft look, turning to Natasha “They were never dating.”
“What do you mean?”
“Listen to me carefully. Stephen and Y/N were never really dating. It was fake so that you could date Steve without thinking she was into him anymore, which she never was in the first place. Stephen agreed to fake date her, for what reason, I’m not sure, but then Y/N got mixed up in a few lies and here we are now.”
“There’s no way.” Natasha fell onto Y/N’s guilty and teary-eyed state. 
“Nat, it’s true.”
“But-” she shook her head, narrowing her eyes slightly, “You sat in his lap-”
“-because you forced me to.” 
“You’ve kissed him outside the biology building-”
“-also you.” Y/N muttered.
“-you rubbed tanning lotion all over him!” 
“-you.” Y/N mumbled, pursing her lips as Natasha stared at her with wide-eyes.
“I can’t believe you fake dated Stephen. Strange.”
“I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“I just-you guys looked so good together. It was so obvious from the way he stared at you. The way you looked at him like he was the only person there. Like you were holding yourself back. I wanted you to know that it was okay to express your feelings, you know? I thought it worked...but you dated Stephen Strange."
“I’m sorry, Nat. Please don’t hate me after this-”
“I could never hate you. I’m just sad you thought you had to do all of this. For now, I think we should focus on Tom. Y/n/n, you need to say something. Nothing changes, even if you and Stephen aren’t actually together. I think he would want to know. I know if it were reversed, you would want to know.”
“This is different.”
“I-” she swallowed, staring at them. She took up her phone and opened the notes app, shoving it into their faces. After a minute or two, they looked away from the phone and Y/N leaned against the wall.
“How?”
Because things had changed and she was in love with him. She didn't want to get hurt, and yet, that ship has sailed. Now, all she could do was make sure that Stephen would be okay from here on out.
“I can’t take this away from him. He’s so close to reaching his goal. Maybe if I just hold off. I don’t know what’ll happen if I don’t.”
“If only there were a way to find out what Stephen would prefer.” Sam mused.
“Yeah.” she sniffled.
“If only there were someone who knows Stephen very well that we might ask.” he hinted.
“That would be great-” 
“Hayden!” Y/N mused.
“You should ask Hayden!”
“You two are so smart and yet so slow.”
“Hayden hates Tom.”
“Do you know why?”
“Never found out. Stephen thought it was a personality thing, but was never sure.”
“Okay. Where would he be?”
Y/N shrugged, allowing Natasha to call the number in Y/N’s phone.
***
"To what do I owe the visit?"
"I need to ask you something and I need an honest answer." She was forward.
His face dropped, but Hayden nodded "Course. What is it?"
"Why do you hate Tom so much?"
He sighed, "I've always had a gut feeling about that guy since grad school. He was the favourite of his mentor and that guy was enough of a red flag to let me know that wasn't exactly a good thing."
"Tom was always passing off advice to Stephen and I don't know-over the years, it was easy to see how Stephen surpassed him. I knew Ton was always jealous of Stephen's work and skill. Stephen is a gifted talent in the science world. He's passionate about what he does and, honestly doesn't get enough credit for the effort he puts in."
"What would you do if you had proof of what Tom was really like?" She put it out there.
He tilted his head, "I think Stephen would want to know the type of person he's investing into. If I'm being completely honest, the grant benefits Tom a lot more than it does Stephen."
She titled her head in confusion, "What do you mean?"
"Stephen is irreplaceable in the scope of things. He has more grants than he needs. It's the line of research that he developed that got Tom's attention. And frankly, the project and the lab are what drew him to Harvard." He smiled, glancing at her, "Evidently someone else too, in time."
Y/N flushed, pressing her lips together as she leaned her arms on the table, "Are you going to clarify that?"
"I mean-whatever has been going on with you and my best friend, I know that he is crazy about you. He has never opened up this much about anyone before and I can confirm it."
"He said as much." He smiled, "Talk to him. I'm sure that whatever it is can be cleared up."
"I know...I just don't want to screw anything up. I want what's best for him."
"That is why you have to talk to him. Clear the air." Hayden assured her.
She nodded.
***
Stephen was about to sit down among the Harvard professors when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Normally he would just leave it to later, but he grabbed it with something pressing against his mind.
Y/N: I need to talk to you, but I know you’re busy so this will have to do.
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deadlyleomidget · 1 year
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Hi there! Could you write a reader insert story where Miyuki comforts and encourages the reader after an intense shoulder surgery? I was thinking reader-san to be a star softball player who she got in a collision in a big game and has to get surgery to try and fix it. I imagine reader-san would have a lot of anxiety and doubts about going to back to play once her sling is off.
Hi there anon! Thanks for the request. I apologize for the delay and I hope you enjoy reading it. Have a Happy New Year! 
“The surgery was a success, y/n-san,” the doctor said with an encouraging smile. “If you rest and follow all of my instructions your shoulder will heal nicely. However, I’m not going to lie. It’s not going to be an easy road since you have to start physical therapy. But I’m confident that after that you’ll be able to play softball just like you wanted.”
You gave the doctor a small smile. “Thank you sensei,” you replied. “I’ll be sure to follow all of your instructions. 
Your parents thanked the doctor and quickly excused themselves, saying that they needed to meet with him to get detailed aftercare instructions. 
You just nodded with the same small smile plastered on your face. The corners of your lips were starting to hurt but that was nothing compared to the possibility of anyone discovering the truth. You just knew that nothing good would come out of saying it to anyone. They wouldn’t be able to understand. You were supposed to only feel grateful and nothing more. But the truth was that you were utterly terrified. You turned to look at your left shoulder which was bandaged with the string of the sling. 
‘If I go through the recovery process and physical therapy, am I going to be able to play softball?’ you asked yourself. Anxiety starts to course through your veins as all of the anecdotes that you’ve heard and read about other athletes getting injured and not being able to play again. And if they do, they never go back to being the same kind of player. 
‘Is that going to be my fate once the sling comes off?’ You just had surgery so you knew that a small part of you was definitely overthinking this. First, you had to rest and let your shoulder heal from the surgery, But you couldn’t help it. You’ve been always the type of person who rushed into action without thinking about anything else. Kinda like another fellow southpaw that she was great friends with. Sawamura Eijun. 
Fortunately, Sawamura had not gone through a physical injury as you had. But he did go through yips which a lot of people would argue it’s the worst. Since it’s something that ultimately only players themselves can overcome. He was strong enough to do it. 
‘Will I? Will be strong enough?’ Tears were forming in the corner of your eyes, threatening to fall. Softball was everything to you. It has been everything since you discovered the sport when you were just mere eight years old. You loved to pitch. There was nothing more exhilarating than getting on the mound. How life would be if you had to end up quitting the sport you love so much? 
‘Knock Knock,’ you heard a light tapping on the door. You quickly wiped your tears with your right hand. The last thing you needed was to someone see you cry. “Yes?” you replied timidly, craning your head to the side to see who it was. The door opens but instead of seeing someone, you’re met with a bouquet of blue irises. “How are you feeling, y/n-chan?” she heard a masculine voice ask as he moved the bouquet to the side to reveal his face. 
“Kazuya?” you asked in mild disbelief. Sure, you expected him to come to visit you since he was your boyfriend. But not this soon. “What are you doing here?” 
The catcher flashed you his signature smirk. “What? I can’t visit my girlfriend after she had surgery?” he replied with a question of  his own.
 He turned to go to the small bathroom that was in the room to fill up the vase that he already had. 
You snorted. “It’s not that,” you said. “I just wasn’t expecting you to come this soon. I thought you would come after practice,” you explained, following his every moment. He placed the vase on the nightstand next to you, before taking a seat. “Thank you. They are very beautiful.” 
This time around he shot you a sincere smile. “I’m glad you like them.” 
Your heart skipped a beat. Miyuki never ceased to cause that effect on you. Even when you were feeling at your lowest, his presence was always warming and comforting. However, that didn’t mean that you were ready for his visit. If he noticed that something was wrong with you then he would find a way to make you talk which you were not ready for. 
Aside from being insanely handsome and insufferable, he was also extremely good at reading other people.
‘Why did I have to pick a catcher as my boyfriend?’
“You didn’t answer my question,’ Miyuki pointed out, now in a more concerned tone. “Are you in pain?” he asked. 
“Oh sorry,” you averted your gaze, feeling flustered. “I’m not in pain. At least not yet. I’m still a bit groggy due to the anesthesia.” 
Miyuki nodded. “Should you be sleeping then?” 
You giggled while you playfully rolled your eyes. “I’m fine, mom.” 
The catcher grumbled. “That’s not a nice attitude, young lady,” he played along. 
You let out a small laugh. Your underlying anxiety was seeming to subside a bit. “Hai, Hai.” 
“You should get plenty of rest so you can recover soon,” Miyuki said without a trace of playfulness in his tone. “I mean it,” he added. 
“Will I?” you whispered, mainly to yourself. Your concerns were starting to bother you again. 
“What was that?” he asked. 
You shook your head in response, turning your head in the opposite direction so he can’t see you. You were starting to feel emotional again and didn’t want to risk crying in front of him. 
“Y/n-chan, are you okay?” Miyuki asked, worried. 
“Yes,” you replied without turning to look at him. 
“Y/n-chan,” he called out your name in a firmer tone. 
“No,” you shook your head with tears streaming down your face. “I’m not okay,” you break down. 
Miyuki didn’t say anything as he got up from the chair and sat next to you on the bed. He gently wrapped your arms around you, careful so he wouldn’t hurt you, and started stroking your hair. You desperately hugged him back and sobbed in his arms. 
“I’m scared, Kazuya,” you said in between sobs. “I know it’s silly but I’m scared. I’m scared that I’m not going to be ever be the same. That I’m not going to be able to pitch again,” you confessed your darkest fears. 
The catcher shook his head. “It’s not silly,” he said firmly. “It’s completely normal that you feel scared.” 
You looked up at him. “Really?” 
“Of course,” Miyuki said, wiping a tear away from the corner of your eye. “Every athlete that gets injured has that same fear,” he added in a matter- of- fact tone. “Especially you since pitchers are the most selfish players,” he said in jest. 
You pouted and rolled your eyes. “And you catchers are control freaks.” 
Miyuki let out a dry chuckle. “Maybe we are,” he half-admitted. “I was scared to y’know? When I got injured. Yes, I was being reckless and still played when I wasn’t supposed to, but that didn’t mean that I wasn’t scared. Even when the doctor said that it would just take a few weeks to recover. I was scared that the team was going to leave me behind.” 
You widened your eyes in shock. “Why didn’t you tell me that back then?” 
“Why didn’t you want to tell me how you were feeling just now?” he countered.
You bit your lip. “It’s not easy to talk about it.”
“No, it’s not,” he said in agreement. “Y/n you’re the strongest and most determined person I know. I believe in you and your strength. So I know that you’re going to do even the impossible so you can start playing again. You’re not going to give up,” he said with a gentle smile. 
You couldn’t help but smile back at him, feeling a warm fuzzy sensation all over you. Immediately feeling that his words were lifting up your spirits. You didn’t know how he did it, but he always knew what to say in the most difficult moments even with his awkward phase. 
“Thank you, Kazuya,” you said in gratitude. 
“You don’t have to thank me. I believe in you and I’ll be there for you every step of the way. Even when you don’t believe in yourself.” 
A single tear streams down your face. “Do you promise?” you asked, sticking out your pinky finger.
Miyuki wrapped his pinky finger around yours. “I promise.” 
You didn’t know what the future had in store for you during your recovery process and you knew that Miyuki couldn’t promise that everything was going to be alright. But knowing that he was  always going to be with you brought you the comfort and confidence you needed to face this challenge head-on.
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94monkeys · 1 year
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Well, that was a nice 10 minutes of feeling like things were under control around here.
My Decembaby is not gaining weight as fast as she should be. After various consultations the doctor recommended she go on a dairy-free diet… which means I have to go on a dairy-free diet. The good news is that it’s probably something she will grow out of… the bad news is that I may have to stay on it as long as she is breastfeeding.
I alternate between grim competence and complete collapse over this news. I have never in my life given up a whole food group at once, and I’ve been lucky enough not to have allergies or intolerances. Lucky too to replace all the dairy stuff in our fridge and to seek out “compliant” foods. But I’m just so tired. I was in a good place where I was eating enough, mostly eating good stuff, and now I have to read labels and read new recipes and obsess and… I hate it! I love my baby but I miss pizza already and it’s been like 4 days.
And our pediatrician has given us/me basically NO support on this. Osteoporosis runs in my family, so I asked for a list of good non-dairy calcium sources and they sent me one that was MOSTLY dairy. What the fuck man. So now I gotta research all this stuff and somehow figure it out on the fly, while my brain feels like a dead pinball machine with all these screws and springs rattling for nothing, while taking care of the baby and occasionally washing my hair and so on. I completely broke open when I asked for tips and the nurse wrote to me “the detox period is a long one but if you follow it diligently you may see some small improvements.” Oh great! All I have to do is overthink everything I eat when I worked so hard NOT to do that! Small improvements!
I’m pretty sure I know what the best thing for my mental health would be… but I am stubborn so we are going to try this detox for 2 weeks and see how it goes. I am hungry.
Also while I’m complaining I got a summons for jury duty for the same day my husband goes back to work (Uh… no?) and last night our TV died MINUTES before the State of the Union. I think we need to unplug February and plug it back in again.
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jennyandvastraflint · 5 months
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Hey :) Can I ask for advice on the Siren fic? (which REALLY needs an actual name btw) It is rather spoiler-y though, so if you don't want that, maybe delete the ask and don't read on? And let me know?
Okay so, as I have teasered before, I definitely want to give River a human body back and I kinda want it to be Mels'. For plot reasons mostly; I could elaborate on this, but maybe I should keep some secrets.
But the thing is, in the fic it has to be older River from far down her timeline. And I intend to write her as such because her consciousness already as Siren is - while definitely also influenced by cat impulses - older!River. And I also want her to go by that name because it's her chosen name by that point.
But it kinda feels wrong? I believe River likes all her bodies and could cope with it but I reckon it might still feel off to her. Because she isn't that person anymore and she's used to the new body now? I don't really know but yeah. Maybe it's okay because in essence she's the same? The Doctor f.ex. I think would not really mind a mixed up body or feel the difference as much as other timelords like the Master for example or the General. (although I guess we'll see whether I am right with tenteen) But I am not quite sure where River falls on that spectrum. And then there is the added layer of completely changing her worldview while in the River!body and hence association of Melody Pond I and II with the Doctor's assassin.
And then if I have her be uncomfortable with the old new body, I firstly don't know whether I like that message with Mels being black and River white. And secondly there would be the opportunity to have her regenerate into the River!body or an entirely new body at the end but that feels like killing Mels off immediately after introducing her and I am still mad at Moffat for doing that. Also again, killing a black woman for the gain of a white woman - even though it is the same woman in essence - bad idea.
Idk maybe I am overthinking this and should just give her Mels' body and let her be River and be just fine with that? Maybe even a little excited to revisit a face she has been fond of before? (maybe I should also see what tenteen has to say on that in a few days)
Or I could also change the plot slightly and make her be River in the River!body like we know her. Maybe that's for the best?
Do you have any advice/thoughts? Have you encountered something like this in the eu maybe?
(Also do you want to read some River/Yaz dialogue snippets I brainstormed today and that haven't been workshopped yet?)
Read through this, sat with it a bit during lunch, and now I'm gonna give a relatively short answer because I should be doing uni assignments and have like one and a half braincells left XDD
I think if you do want to go for Mels' body for River, perhaps the Doctor tries to turn Siren back into River (because I'm boldly assuming River was just somehow turned into a cat) in a sort of "turning back your body's time" kinda thing, and she ends up fucking up and accidentally dialing it back too much. So we're back at Mels but with River's current thoughts. You could give River some introspection about how she feels being back in that body? That it feels strange but it was a body she had for years as well, that grew up alongside her parents. Meanwhile the Doctor is trying to figure out how to now turn River's body to River instead of having her stuck in one that doesn't correspond with her current mind.
I don't think I've encountered that per se in the Extended Universe, but the third Diary of River Song boxset does feature Mels as a character! (Don't ask me for details, I have terrible memory XD)
Yeahh. But if you want it dealt with quicker, I'd simply go for turning River back into River! (You could write another fic where Mels meets them, if you want to explore that dynamic, just saying)
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ayaitch · 26 days
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10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 Tags
Ok, after agonizing over these choices for days, I'm just posting lest I overthink it any further.
Thank you for the tag @robo-dino-puppy! I hope I do this right. I'm also not very good at ranking things, so this is mostly in the order the character comes to mind. Also, I am not sure I can come up with ten fandoms I'm involved in, so a few may just be me reaching for something to list.
Horizon Forbidden West - Ikkotah
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Was there any surprise he would be on my list somewhere? There should not have been. There is literally nothing special or compelling about him, he is just a heartbroken guy who stole my heart.
Stargate SG-1 - Teal'c
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Teal'c was an awesome character, and I will forever defend his sense of humor. He made so many jokes that were intended to fall flat, but I could never help but laugh at them, even while the SG team gave him sad/confused looks.
Star Wars: Rebels - Zeb
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I'm stealing this from @robo-dino-puppy, but it can't be helped. Zeb is the best. He is such a great character, and has such a tragic backstory and compelling story in the show. He was so underutilized and his live action model was incredible. They need to get him in the Ahsoka show! (And let him have Kallus back too!)
M*A*S*H - Charles Emerson Winchester, III
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I loved Charles in MASH. He was such an arrogant guy, but he was also very competent, intelligent, and would help so many people without question, because it was his duty as a doctor. He had a very soft side too that was just wonderful to see come out here and there.
The X-Files - Dana Scully
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Scully was so awesome. She was very rarely a damsel in distress, she was so damn smart, her sarcasm and wit were what I dreamed I could also have someday.
Sailor Moon - Sailor Uranus/Haruka Tenoh
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I thought Sailor Uranus was the coolest. The first canonically gay character I encountered, and I was a vocal angry fan about what the dub did to her and Neptune. As an early teen, Sailor Uranus was everything I thought women needed to be. Awesome, buff, no-nonsense, no men.
The Lord of the Rings - Eowyn
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I wanted to dislike her so much when the Two Towers came out, because she seemed so extraneous and convinced of her own importance to the plot, but she wiped the floor with my expectations and I fell in love. She was just so awesome. Then I was disappointed she got together with Faramir, because she shouldn't need a dude, but I loved Faramir as well, so I accepted the match. (Yes, I was one of those people who saw the movies before reading the books...)
The Legend of Korra - Asami Sato
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Smart, capable, and compassionate. Asami was one of my favorites from go, even though the narrative pitted her against Korra for the Mako love triangle thing at first. She pulled her weight within the group, and I loved how resourceful she was.
Animorphs - Marco
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Marco was so lovable as far as I was concerned. He was that oddball guy who hid all his pain and neglect under a front. He was very relatable when I was reading those books, and I was so invested in his story.
Gargoyles - Brooklyn
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I liked Brooklyn a lot when Gargoyles was on. He had his act together most of the time, and I liked his overall character. I like that he wanted to do right by his family/friends, but wasn't serious all the time.
I haven't thought about some of these characters in a very long time, but I liked revisiting some of my favorites. This was fun!
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woodsfae · 1 year
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Babylon 5 s02e10 Gropos S02 Table of Contents • previous episode
"No traffic, no complaints, no noise. Traitors, troublemakers, and ambassadors all tucked snugly in their little beds. I love this time of night."
Well, now something's definitely going to happen, Ivanova. You've jinxed it!
*jumpgate opens. 6 ships inbound.*
Is General Richard Franklin related to Doctor Stephen Franklin? Aaaand that was answered very quickly. Dr Franklin's dad has arrived with 25,000 soldiers that Sheridan needs to find berths for. I don't even want to imagine. And the influx! It'll be standing room only in every single crack and crevice of the place.
From a Trekkie point of view, rotating shifts of soldiers getting downtime on the station while the rest do whatever on the newly spacious ships seems like a better idea than "find 25,000 beds right now."
General Franklin: "I had an Alfredo Garibaldi under my command during the Dilgar invasion. Excellent soldier." Garibaldi: "That was my dad." General Franklin: *raises an eyebrow* "So much for genetics."
sick burn, dude. One of those lines that startles a laugh out of me. B5 has a lot of those. Way, way more surprise-laugh lines than any other show I can think of.
Yikes. This classified mission sounds like extremely bad news, and very classic USA imperialism interfering. Yeah, go on to a sovereign planet and wipe out one of the factions waging civil war at the request of one of the factions. That way always lies long term stability, duh.
But Sheridan was on the planet Akdor before? Earth has been around in the armed conflicts already, apparently.
Babylon 5 didn't already have enough armaments to defend against a warship? Sheridan not wanting the weapons is sorta understandable. But I'd rather have enough weaponry to deter anyone from poking holes in the walls between me and explosive decompression. (space fascinates and terrifies me)
The Franklin sisters sound impressive!
Bummer. General Franklin is xenophobic, humanocentric, and really invested in Stephen Franklin using his xenobiology experience to make xenobiological weapons.
Yeah I could never be in the military. The first time someone called me a mutant maggot I'd be court martialed for my response.
Seriously, rotate the soldiers in and out for leave. Cramming them all on board at once is too much.
The emotionalism of these parent-child relationship plots is kinda lost on me. My thoughts are "talking hasn't worked so far! Why bother beating your head against a brick wall. Not worth it."
Susan's advice to Stephen is far superior for relationships continuing to exist, that's for sure.
Lay hands on the Minbari Ambassador? Smart.
Shit, I want this soldier lady on my side no matter what. Also, excellent fight choreography.
What is up with all the mutant insults? Rubs me the wrong way. But dehumanization usually does.
Stephen Franklin: *tries to apologize* Dad Franklin: "I didn't raise you to say things you didn't mean!"
See? So much less of a headache to just stop trying to talk to unreasonable people.
Sheridan is an amazing peacekeeper. It often does take a third party to talk the emotionally riled up people around. And he's very good at it.
Garibaldi: "So, uh... what would you like to see first?" Durman: "Good restaurant." Garibaldi: "Okay." Durman: "Then your quarters."
get it, girl.
Welch is a good wingman, hah.
You're way, way overthinking it Garibaldi. Making this casual hookup real weird. Dodger/Durman's actor is spectacular. The way she pitches her voice low and loud when talking in public, but goes high when angry in private is some a+ acting.
Awww, father-son bonding.
I am enjoying the B5 staff guy Keffer hanging out with the two gropos. But how do you end up a 30 yr infantry person?? this guy does not look 50, and I can't imagine being a 50 year old grunt in the military, holy shit, rough life.
Kliest just wants to be a dick. Gonna be a racist idiot and try to assault the Minbari ambassador, then gonna start shit with the one B5 staff with a huge, fearless vet at his back?
Rando gropo: "Battle call!"
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🎵 I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier 🎵
hilarious. Bar fight!
"And when I get back, I promise, we'll talk."
soooo Dad Franklin is definitely dying on Akdor, yeah?
There are some things on B5 that are just wonderful, aspirational, and a little depressing in their current relevance. Today's example: the black reporter, Tanya Wallace, with dreadlocks, respected as a journalist.
Dad Franklin made it, but Dodger died? :( And also Keffer's two bunkmate buddies. Very sad days.
Fitting for the episode to end right after panning across the lives lost so Earth can have a base closer to Narn and Centauri.
Pretty entertaining and enjoyable as far as Garibaldi episodes! And I appreciated the Family Franklin highlight, too!
next episode
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