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#am Mad about stuff again
fabdante · 13 days
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The Party Animal and the Goth
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Duncan tried to tell her before they showed up that this would be different. She should give it a try. It’d been years since the last party she went to with him (she’d been dating Trent at the time to, something Duncan further blamed for her bad time). Maybe she’d like it now. And Duncan wouldn’t leave her alone, he swore. No awkward hanging out by herself and the dog should they have one. And if Trent was there, Duncan would punch him just for her. Blah blah. All sorts of promises. Well. She wasn’t into it. Like she said she wouldn’t be. Duncan fucked off somewhere else. Like she thought he would. And she saw her ex Trent floating around and she was doing everything in her power to avoid any awkward small talk that would ensue the second he saw her again. Like she feared.  Of course the party was going to be that predictable. She should have put money on it. And there wasn't even a dog. Around midnight she’d gotten sick of the whole thing. But Duncan was off doing something (hopefully not someone) and Geoff found her. They talked. She mentioned maybe looking for DJ and leaving. But Geoff lit up like she’d just told him he won a prize and her night got a little weird. Instead of just saying bye or helping her find DJ or literally anything else, Geoff was instantly offering to talk her back to her dorm. So that got her where she was now, walking with Geoff away from his party.  What the fuck.
Summery: A classic 'Geoff walks Gwen home' story set in the year of 2013/2014, in which Gwen has decided to leave a party early and Geoff has decided he'll walk her home. (College AU, no camp.)
Words: 4,274
Rating: Teen (swearing)
Read Here!
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cherryflavoredbutch · 11 months
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you know i just typed a paragraph about it and then deleted it but in far fewer words I fucking hate the trope of women characters in traditional fantasy who are clearly intended to be empowering to SOME members of the audience by merit of the fact that they wield some secondhand power over like magic or dragons or a politician or something all while still embodying this sexy nonthreatening mystically-beautiful divine femininity. so the writer has fulfilled their feminism quota by inventing a woman whose entire character could easily be eclipsed in artistic merit by rachel platten's hit single fight song to the exact same emotional effect, and much of their audience is satisfied by this, so we as the dissatisfied reader have no hope in hell of getting to take in a woman character who can heft a sword or be big and muscular or god forbid do anything interesting with her gender. and trans characters of any kind? FORGET about it. not gonna happen. this fantasy is someone else's fantasy and it won't let you forget it.
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kedreeva · 11 months
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Willow, touchin' stuff in her new home.
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fluffypotatey · 9 months
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*smashes in like the Kool-Aid man*
PENDRAGON SIBLINGS YOU SAY????
I have. So many Feels. About Themst™
The complexity?? The layers?? The angst?? Hello??????
Their relationship is just So Much, because you are right, it's all tangled up in miscommunication and missed opportunities, and so many problems that can be sourced back to Uther "War Crimes" Pendragon, who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit him on the ass.
If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.
Because it's the lonely childhoods, the shared grief, the friendship, the vulnerability, the fondness, the teasing, the envy, the jealousy, the almost romance, the protectiveness, the betrayal, the loss, the hurt, the refusal to let go and the desperate hanging on, and the love, the love, the love.
Indifference is the true opposite of love.
Hate is love that's gone rotten.
“If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.” oh fuck….
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK
WAIT HOLD ON WAIT LEMME PIGGYBACK ON THAT BESTIE @0hheytherebigbadwolf (tagging you bc it will be a couple days after you sent this ask)
(Also, for anyone wanting background context on what me and bestie are bouncing off on: voilà)
OK OK SO
we are all familiar with King Uther being the greatest (worst) dad of all time, correct? places such high expectations on his “only son and heir” whilst never officially acknowledging Morgana as his daughter until the very end?
F+ father of the year :)
he is not above sending his children into the dungeon if they disobey him as seen here:
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(Jfc he even put Morgana in chains like wtf)
also, he is not above using emotional guilt towards them when he deems it necessary (aka one of the only times he actually acknowledges them as his children)
UTHER (1x02 Valiant) I trust you will make me proud.
UTHER (1x08 The Beginning of the End) I’ve treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?
UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) You are the daughter I never had.
UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) You would believe a sorcerer’s lies over the word of your father?
not to mention that when Arthur or Morgana try to reason with him or argue with him since they are the only ones with the status to do so, he pulls rank
UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) May I remind you that you are speaking to your King [...] Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.
UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am your king and your father. You will show me some respect!
UTHER (2x06 Beauty and the Beast) We live in dangerous times, I cannot allow you to undermine my authority.
UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final.
ngl i could include more but i have already spent hours searching for shit (YOUTUBE WILL DIE BY MY HAND THAT STINGY BITC—) but y’all get what i mean: Uther is an abusive fucker and it has messed up the conditions of Arthur and Morgana
now, about the double edged blade…..
as previously established, Uther is a fucking dick and wants his children to obey him but also adore him. with this behavior, the Pendragon siblings react in two ways: with anger & contempt or submission and remorse
way #1
i’m gonna start with Morgana because anger is the easiest to pick out throughout the show. in the first episode of the first season, our introduction to Morgana’s character is her lecturing Uther about executing the man Merlin witnessed upon entering Camelot (such a warm welcome for Emrys, mh?)
MORGANA I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother. UTHER It was simple justice for what he'd done. MORGANA To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone. UTHER You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like. MORGANA How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?
early on, it is easy to pick up on Morgana’s resentment and anger at Uther, who she believes is blinded by his fear of magic and his need for control (which she isn’t wrong about). also, we find that she isn’t one to back off when poking the bear (Uther). she does it constantly in seasons 1 & 2
MORGANA (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning when she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers? Like an idle king!
MORGANA (1x08 The Beginning of the End) How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy. UTHER He is a Druid. MORGANA Is that such a crime?…What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?
UTHER (2x04 Lancelot and Guinevere) How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant? MORGANA  As many as it takes!
to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if screaming, arguing and berating Uther about his morals and ethics is her way of proving that she is not weak or submissive to his actions. i mean, Morgana grew up in a household the complete opposite from her time in Camelot. Gorlois, the man whom Morgana considers to be her father and one and only family member, was said to be “just” and “kind” and someone that Uther even considered a good friend who openly kept him in check. Morgana, until the age of ten, understood parental love and empathy unlike Arthur, who spent his whole life without any good or healthy substance of it.
the culture of Camelot and Uther’s wrath is not something Morgana was ever able to fully acclimate to as Uther himself pointed out in 1x12. She “was at odds with [him] since the beginning” and could never picture herself as a Pendragon (point further proven in 4x05: she looked revolted when Queen Annis compared her to Uther) because she didn’t share in their idea of magic = evil and a king = absolute control.
ironic in terms of future plot events, isn’t it :’)
way #2
compare that to Arthur: man’s respressed af. keeps all his emotions under lock and key if they are anything but haughty and serious. y’all, Arthur even says it himself how he “[can't] disagree with Father [Uther] in public.” whenever Arthur finds himself at odds with Uther, he holds his tongue and waits until he can disobey secretly (2x05 when he leaves to rescue Gwen, 1x08 when he helps Morgana sneak out Mordred in the dark of the night, 2x08 when he sneaks out to meet Morgause for more info about his mom, etc). it is only the rare moments when Arthur feels impassioned enough to speak up without fearing any retribution does Arthur talk back at him (so satisfying 👌)
ARTHUR (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) [Morgana’s] right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen.
ARTHUR (2x08 Sins of the Father) This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them….You hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!….You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!
ARTHUR (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You can't forbid my feelings any more than I can. I won't deny them any longer, I love her. I love Guinevere.
we can even compare how the two react to Uther’s violence towards them
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(ahahahahahaaaaa what a wonderful dad)
on the left, you see Arthur’s face right when Uther crushes the morteus flower needed to heal Merlin (his manservant/friend/????) and on the right, is Morgana after Uther discovers she was harboring a Druid child in her chambers and she refuses to listen to his reason.
notice how both faces are remarkably similar 👀
however, Arthur’s look of shock and dismay come from his hope that Uther would do the right thing. that he would help save Merlin’s life from dying of poison. that he wouldn’t use this as a method to teach Arthur “what it means to disobey and cross the king.” he truly did hope, just like he always does with the people he holds close. Arthur cannot help but hope and trust that those close to him will not betray him and yet so many do. hence the remorse
looking at Morgana, her shock comes from the fact that this might be the first time Uther reacted to her words and actions in a physical manner. my suspicion is that most of the time, all Morgana previously got was Uther reprimanding her and yelling at her to stop questioning his methods (bc, let’s be real, she was the favorite child.) never has he lifted a finder on her like Arthur and i have proof (cue transcript!)
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AND! and, Arthur is constantly warning Morgana about not angering Uther any further because of the consequences she might face (consequences this boy is very familiar with) when Uther deems it necessary to “teach” his children obedience.
UTHER (1x04 The Poisoned Chalice) You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant.
UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final [...] This is for your own good. - UTHER She will die. The enchantment will be broken. You'll see I was right.
UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am protecting you from your own foolishness!
so educational 🥰 but see, because Uther presents his punishments as lessons, Arthur himself views them as just a fucked up but meaningful way of his father’s concern because “yeah, I am the first born son and only heir to the throne. of course I need to learn not to do silly things like disobey, talk back to him, be my own person.” <- I’m paraphrasing here
Arthur does and has never seen a way out of the life thrust upon him by Uther (see 3x06). succeeding Uther as king, marrying a noblewoman of high standing for heirs and alliance strength was always expected of him. Arthur never saw a way out of this. even when he and Gwen were in their secret relationship phase, Arthur had to remind himself that this would never last. he loved her and knew she loved him, but there was always that reminder (that sounded a lot like Uther) in the back of his head telling him that it would never last so long as he was prince. he had a duty (constructed by Uther) to serve Camelot and going against his father would mean (in his eyes) that he is going against Camelot (as Uther always presented it to be).
so unlike Morgana, he did not kick and scream but stood firm because that was what he believed was stronger. if he stayed in his lane and did his part, then he would be a good king, maybe even a better one than his father, for Camelot. however, the show proves that differentiating himself from Uther actually made him the better king and more respected, but this is not the meta for that. I am getting side tracked.
OK: so we’ve established parental issues between the two siblings. now onto their very complex, complicated yet beloved dynamic
sO, as i mentioned in this post (because i am lazy and too tired to copy/paste the evidence from there), these siblings do care for one another. they just go about it in the most hilarious and repressed and in-denial way (hilarious to me 😤)
when we meet them, it’s established that these two have known each other for some time. enough for them to bicker and have banter, you know, as you do with a Pendragon. also, should add, neither character are ever aware they are blood-related until s3 (because of some weak-ass bitch named Uther), so you have that very, uh, interesting subplot in s1 that everybody forgets about until you rewatch it. (honestly, I have so many questions. number 1: why???? number 2: it’s only in s1—was it scrapped??? is it like it never existed???? what was its purpose to the plot??? bbc explain yourself—)
however, despite how much it is shown that they do care for one another, they’re relationship in s1 is still undefined and vague as if they also don’t know how to accurately define what the other means to them. it’s very similar to the whole “i really love this person so much but is what i’m feeling platonic, familial, or romantic?” because….you know, guy and girl besties who are close are typically expected to grow romantic feelings for each other, so tbh i would not be surprised if both mistook their love as romantically inclined in the beginning bc, reminder, neither of them were aware they were siblings until much later.
[and this is ALL i am saying on this subplot. i do not want to cause any negative discourse, so if anyone has a few choice words about it, either keep it to yourself or feel free to talk about it with people you know. personally? not a fan of the ship and never will be, but i am not here to post about that.]
anyway, have some featured receipts showing Arthur and Morgana slipping up and showing how much they care for each other.
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SEE!!!! LOOK AT HOW THE CARE!!!! SEE HOW THEY WORRY FOR THE OTHER AND WISH TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM!!! (and see how even when they’re on opposite sides there is still that same love. just more warped and corrupted T^T)
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^worried/protective Morgana
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^Arthur’s face after Merlin informs him that there’s an intruder heading to Morgana’s chambers
Morgana is very aware of Arthur’s trusting nature. Arthur is very aware of Morgana’s empathy and righteous nature. they understand each other so well which is why Morgana knew just how to harm Arthur in later seasons and why Morgana’s betrayal hit Arthur so hard. it’s also why he never stopped trying to reach out to her in s4 & s5. as @merlinemrys said in this lovely post, the show’s driving force is love. love of all kinds. whatever conflict it is, love is there at the center of it all and, in Arthur and Morgana’s case, it does not save them (just like how love does not save Merlin or Arthur from what lies ahead, as the op of the post pointed out).
that is what makes their relationship/love be like a double edged sword!! that is why they are edges of the same blade!!! they protect and fight for what they believe in and for the people they love, but the same blades cut deep and twist their wounds into a lasting scar.
it is because of Arthur’s love for Morgana that he cannot help but hope and mourn the woman he once knew. it is because of Morgana’s love for Arthur that her feelings of hatred are so strong and ugly.
like honestly,
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look at them T^T compared to before
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their relationship is so tragic T^T because we knew them before it all went wrong. we knew they cared and understood each other. we knew that for some time, they only had each other to rely on for a friend, a crutch, a breather for when the royal life was too much. both of them were fighters and strive to honor their values. both of them had once leaned on the other for support, had wanted nothing but happiness for each other.
fuck, they didn’t even get the chance to really be siblings because they found out too late, and by then Morgana was on a war path and Arthur only found out at the last minute.
like fuck, man
two sides of the same blade: forged with love, yet used for blood
screencaps brought to you by me, @sourdough-morbread, and farfarawaysite
#i will spare you the gorey details of me trying to fine decent screencaps & screenshots for this fucking post or else i’ll get pissed again#(i am considering whether it is worth it to go to war with youtube)#special thanks to my bestie mor for being there for me at the gorey times and helping me find more screenshots#fucking love you bestie 💕💕💕💕#also only including s1-2 bc i am tired and they are the ones where we get pendragon siblings not trying to kill each other#forgive me for always bringing up uther and the pendragon sibs’ upbringing with him it will happen again#also after hours of rereading transcripts and rewatching clips of bbc merlin: it is so obvious that uther cared and treated Morgana like hi#own child more than Arthur. like jfc he let’s her get away with so much stuff he is way for gentle with his words towards her#when he realizes that he was too cruel or rude like bro…..where tf was that for arthur#it just adds to the complicated sibling dynamic because there is the added jealousy and resentment of knowing a parent loved another more#literally most of Morgana’s time with Uther was her at odds with him and yet he views her as his child more#well no ducking dur that Arthur ‘i-would-do-anything-to-receive-my-father’s-love-attention-and-pride’ Pendragon resents Morgana for#always being the one Uther goes easier on and finds ways to turn a blind eye for like wtf#also during my research i was reminded of how done dirty Gwen’s story was by bbc#loses her father to a king fearful of magic barely gets to mourn him bc she now has to keep up the smithy and her maid job; reunites#with her brother who’s been AWOL for some years and still they don’t get a moment to talk about their dad and mourn TOGETHER#her storyline is pushed aside by s4 bc now she’s fulfilling the role of Arthur’s love interest and oh yeah they still need to incorporate#the lanceot/guinevere scandal and then banish her for some episodes without even letting her brother be mad about it like ?????#anyway#continued saga of fluffy rereading transcripts -> uther: ‘it’s been a long time since Ygraine…since anyone’ me: ducking liar >:(#[sir leon begins the slow clap] king you dropped this 👑IT IS 1AM HELP 😂#place your bets on where my laziness for evidence came in! (I honestly don’t know lol scavenging evidence is all a blur)#spent 2 days on this post lol#me: ok i think that’s enough evidence for this argument…………ok maybe ONE more won’t hur—#me after day 2: ….am i done???? am i free????#pendragon siblings coming behind me with a steel chair: nah mate!#me: FUCK THERE’S MORE#bbc merlin#merlin meta#pendragon sibs
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sso-montana · 14 days
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my sso Roman Empire is the fact that at the very least Avalon had to know Justin was Catherine's son (he was the only witness to her and Thomas getting married, she took on the moorland name)
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AND YET he let the keepers put the fact that Justin is Sand's grandson over the fact that he's Catherine's son (or didn't even mention it at all) in this essay I will-
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da-proti-toku-grem · 9 days
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why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/
#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad#and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay#but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh#like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet#but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety#or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place#1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out#2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me#3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days#4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for -#- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night#but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?'#i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed#and people where always like 'oh she's just shy'#but idk wtf changed#maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk#but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me#i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not#but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix#or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY#have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them#even if i don't like them#instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety??#i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc#but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day*#aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up#it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all.............#ranting
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itspileofgoodthings · 8 months
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so funny because my emotions are a strength of mine (also their strength in particular is a strength) but they’re also a huuuuge weakness and downside and pitfall as well, and not just because they make me suffer. they also just, like, get in the way of so many good things.
#they’re part of my eloquence/persuasive powers!#such as they are#and people respond to the passion! but I actually think they get in my way more often than not#and just make my points so much less valid and interesting#when I can look back at a thing from the vantage of emotional hindsight and talk about it quickly and simply and analytically#when I’m not actively WRESTLING with something I feel like I do my best work#but idk. maybe that’s just how it feels from the inside and isn’t actually so#nah it is so. at least with negative emotions. I am only off-putting and annoying and disagreeable when I’m speaking on a thing negatively#and even positively sometimes that first flush of emotion that’s carrying me along has to die before I can really speak honestly#like me speaking on Jonathan byers with SOOO much overflowing emotion and warmth and love#akksksjdjejejejejejjejeje#but there was stuff I was missing and wouldn’t look at!!!#it was all conviction and warmth but then I was wrong#TLDR: I think I’m most persuasive when the emotion has passed or at least is not immediately present and I’m speaking about things#more rationally#Because I like to think my rationality is still not cold! It’s very alive but it isn’t so weighed down by emotions#It’s why I need to restrain myself from speaking bitterly (at least publicly) when I’m mad about stuff#i just say all the ugliest and in many ways LEAST true things about whatever I’m talking about#even as I’m reaching for clarity#again. Teaching helps with this.#time mellows the first waves of emotion appropriately. still giving my takes life but not overpowering the vision (hopefully)#but then idk. sometimes I have a take and many very very smart people hate it so much#so it’s just like#shrug emoji#Maybe I AM wrong#I can’t be the judge of my own takes turns out. Not really#but I guess I’m learning to have them anyway#if it’s organic and hits me like a wave of revelation#it’s always those takes people hate the MOST though aksjsjejejeje#again except for my students. because they don’t know to hate them so they just follow where I lead (mostly)
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y'all i promise i was GOING to brainrot about moth but then genshin dropped the teaser for the Arlecchino animated short and now my head is full of nothing but Father
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filthforfriends · 3 months
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I know that we mustn't judge people by the meme pages they follow but couldn't help feel a little weird about damiano following a meme page making misogynistic and fatphobic jokes some of them even homophobic... I usually dont go through anyone's following list but i was trying to find the page of a Japanese artist that Damiano used to share posts onto his story from, a few years ago. I stumbled upon this meme page instead.
No, no. In this house we absolutely judge people by the meme pages they follow. Especially on their public, professionally curated, extremely popular insta.
Anon, I was fully ready to go spelunking for you. I scrolled to the very bottom to see what garbage he liked at age 16 which was totally unnecessary. Because he just recently followed ravidememe! Who posts some stuff like this:
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But a whole lot of mainstream misogynistic, toxic, and woefully unoriginal shit like this:
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And occasionally something truly abhorrent like a Napalm joke.
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Apologies for the google translate. The page is Italian so I’m sure I’m missing a lot of problematic cultural references too. But this one I got:
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“Milanese women” = women from Milan. Damiano’s ex of 6 years is from Milan and moved to Rome to be with him.
P.S. I will only respond to claims that this is solely the translations fault if you can give me a thorough explanation for each instance.
#📩 Maybe he didn’t see the “Milanese” post.#🙎🏻‍♀️ Maybe. But he saw the other ones which is why he followed.#📩 Maybe he only saw the political posts.#🙎🏻‍♀️ lol#📩 Relax! He’s just following an Italian meme page it’s not that deep.#🙎🏻‍♀️ He followed ravidememe bcus he enjoyed/identified w the humor enough to compromise his meticulously curated public image.#📩 They’re probably irl friends and that’s why he’s following.#🙎🏻‍♀️ That’s worse.#📩 Let it go this isn’t hurting anyone.#🙎🏻‍♀️ Him following this page gives these attitudes credibility & all kinds of visibility.#(cont.) Impressionable fans are gonna see these posts & internalize + accept this treatment.#📩 Literally why are you so mad?#🙎🏻‍♀️ Finding this stuff funny indicates that beneath his seemingly evolved values Damiano is just as bigoted as your average dude.#(cont.) = aspects of his allyship performative for marketability = profit. Made $ caring more than he actually does.#📩Woah! Just because someone finds something funny doesn’t mean they AGREE with it!#🙎🏻‍♀️ Possibly. But it means he isn’t meaningfully offended when he damn well should be.#📩 Gen Z are just offended by everything! Get a life!#🙎🏻‍♀️ This post is literally about a Gen Z-er making offensive jokes. Try again next time.#📩 It’s cultural! These comments aren’t offensive in Italy!#🙎🏻‍♀️ I am going to enjoy watching your compatriots come for your throat#that should just about cover it
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notfknapplicable · 1 month
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Move-in went great! FYI I am never ever moving my self ever again. Movers are worth every single penny and having hired helpers to do the literal heavy lifting was life-saving. I'm still unpacking of course and I gotta figure out where to put my dryer - there's hookups for the washer in the kitchen, but it looks like the dryer will have to go on the back porch :-( cuz there's no vent for it anywhere in the duplex. The back porch is uncovered, too, so I'm gonna have to get one of those sun sails to go out there or something. Ugh so tedious, but it'll be worth it to be able to not hang clothes to dry or use a laundromat.
The new neighborhood is very much in the ghetto but like like the old people's side of the ghetto. Plenty of the people on my street are either retirees or disabled and not working, including my duplex neighbor. The street is quiet for the most part (except for the kid who lives in the house next door - he's clearly a twitch streamer because I can hear him screaming about video games from my porch). One neighbor sells soul food plates and that warms my heart. My best friend in middle school's grandmother sold plates from her house and I loved to visit because there was always something to eat and us kids ate for free. It really triggers my 90's housing projects nostalgia.
Sleep has gone well so far and I can already see the benefits of no longer eating and watching tv where I sleep. I've been able to take my ambien and fall straight to sleep 2 nights in a row now!
I had my first meeting with my advisor for grad school on Monday. I'm taking 2 classes in the fall and I think I've picked the class that I wanna use my scholarship for at the rare books program. It happens next spring (2025) at the NY Public Library and I've never visited that city alone before. Could be cool!
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sleep-sounds-nice-rn · 4 months
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I need to stop thinking about him I need to stop thinking about him I need to stop thinking about him
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why does everything have to be a hecking issue with my sister
#she keeps getting on my case about the Theatre Boy thing which I would just like to hecking leave in the past#she keeps getting on my case bc I wear short shorts and spaghetti strap tank tops AROUND THE HOUSE AS LOUNGE CLOTHES#she's like DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT MODESTY and I'm like YOU WALK AROUND IN SHORTS AND A SPORTS BRA ALL THE TIME#(possibly bc I thought I could get away with wearing lounge clothes with a long shawl thing overtop the other day to worship practice#but I did in fact change my trousers after my mama pointed out that it wasn't super modest)#she keeps making comments about how I do inappropriate stuff on my phone bc I... watch one(1) sitcom?????#shows like that are IRREVERENT AS HECK like come on of course I'm not going to be totally open with my kid sister about them#I am an ADULT I can make my own choices about what content I will put up with in media#I can make my own choices about clothing if I think my mom's idea of ''anything more than an inch above the knee#is immodest'' is silly and restrictive for my body shape and comfort level personally#like... why does she have to act so high and mighty around me? she's in MIDDLE SCHOOL and I know I haven't always been the nicest to her#but I'm making the effort. I'm trying to get along with her and what I get is disdain on the daily in return :/#our mom said it's probably bc she was hoping I wouldn't move back in so she'd have our room to herself and now she's mad#that I'm back bc she has to share a space again and like I KNOW middle school ages SUCK I've BEEN THERE#but still I just. want to get along. but she picks on me and then I get frustrated and then I snap at her and it just doesn't end well#it's a nasty cycle tbh. I'm praying about it.#Lu rambles#personal#delete later
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illdothehotvoice · 2 months
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Replaying Mario the Music Box with my roommates and.. yeah...hm
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hwiyoungies · 3 months
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🧍‍♀️
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sexynetra · 3 months
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I know I didn’t do something wrong that caused the shitstorm yesterday but I still feel guilty about it 🤪🤪 anyways are we at the point where I can make jokes about the person who posted the screenshot or are we all too on edge still lmk
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skitskatdacat63 · 5 months
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“Constantia et fortitudine” - Emperor Sebastian I “der Sieghafte”
#i dont ever want to look at his face(blatant lie)#i love him and i love staring at pics of him but jfc trying to draw them. absolute murder to ME#well anyways. happy with this. took too many late like 4 hour sessions tho LMFAO#watched uhhhh animal documentaries and casino royale again :)#OKAY ANYWAYS ITS NOW YOUR FAVORITE! CONTEXT! INFO! LORE!#so ive mentioned before seb is charles vi. obviously. but i love to steal stuff from Joseph I as well 🥰#seb is a mix of both bcs he obv doesn't have an older brother in this au so yeah!#'Constantia et fortitudine'(by persistence and courage) was Charles motto!#i think that fits seb so well no? 🥹🥹#'der Sieghafte'(the Victorious) comes from Joseph I! bcs he was so successful in battle 🥰#again! so seb right???#i think so fucking often about him and nando's nicknames in this au#'the spirited' for nando's perseverance....'the victorious' for seb's well. victories haha#i think they fit them incredibly well both in this au and real life!!#even if this fucking murdered me to paint i like it a lot :) i thinm the hair was a lot of fun#actually im not even mad w this one! it was pretty fun once i got past a certain point honestly!#but the secondary expression whoch will be in a different post....jfc i wanted to throw my ipad away 😭#it doesnt help that it was 4-5 am when i was working on jt LMAO#but i believe in courage and perseverance! i will paint constantia et fortitudine 🥹#anwyaysyyyyys!!! hope you like!!!! i think i got him pretty accurate???? im pretty happy w the fsce tbh#wish i could draw his crown but i dont think ill ever subject myself to painting thay monstrosity#also dont really undertsand how they wore crowns back then alongside their giant periwigs?? dont crush the curls :<#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#boy king au
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