#am clearly a great person who you’d LOVE to be friends with

[too-deviant]

jackie and wilson.

previous | next series masterlist.

summary: you haven’t been given a quest, but you have made it your personal mission to make luke castellan smile.

paring: luke castellan x unclaimed!reader

word count: 4k

content: luke is still a moody teenager, reader is still the fly he cant get rid of. does he really want to, though?

notes: these first two parts feel very introductory but it gets juicy as we dive a little further in the next parts hehe. also who do we think readers godly parent is?

PART II — and lord, she found me just in time 

For a hotshot lawyer, your mom couldn’t lie for the life of her. Every time you brought it up, she’d always quip that she didn’t need to be a good liar to be a good lawyer, since all new evidence is legally required to be disclosed to both parties before they are presented in court. Therefore, there is no lying, only brief twisting of the truth. She was good at that — clearly. 

“You said you didn’t want me to leave you!” 

The wooden floor of Chiron’s office wasn’t the most comfortable of lounging places, but you’d accidentally kicked the radiator after tripping over a horseshoe and Mr. D — who had escorted you there when you’d asked about speaking to your mom — had just sighed and told you to use the mist currently spraying from it as a form of communication. The whole Iris Message thing was still unusual to you, but at the same time, you’d tripped over a horseshoe because the owner of the office was half-horse. Does it get weirder than that? Probably not. 

You leaned back on your haunches, disbelief written all over your face at the scene you…walked in on? Called in on? Iris Messaged in on? Whatever — you were more worried about what you were looking at than the right terminology to describe it. 

“Oh — sweetie!” Your mom was quick to hop down from the kitchen counter, pushing the man who had been standing between her legs away from her so forcefully he fell back into the living room. 

“What was that?” You heard him ask from afar. Your mom chuckled, buttoning up her blouse. 

“The answering machine.” She excused, “I completely forgot I was supposed to call back my daughter. Would you give me a minute?”

The man agreed with a huff and your mom pushed the kitchen door closed with a click before looking at you, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms, “I didn’t. I sure do now!”

“I’ve been gone for, like, two days!” You exclaimed, “And you’re already inviting your boyfriend over? How old are you?”

“Oh, let it go.” The woman chastised, shaking her head and attempting to push down her amused smile. “I was bored.”

“Bored.” You chuckled, “Of course.”

“But I miss you.” She said then, smiling sweetly and leaning her hip on the island, “How’s camp?”

“It’s great.” You grinned, “The people are great, the food is great. Turns out, I am super with a spear.”

“A spear, huh?” Your mom nodded, “No surprise there, you’ve got a hell of an arm.”

You hummed excitedly, the previous event long forgotten as you filled her in on your first few days at camp, “One of my friends in cabin nine offered to make me a personal one.” Your mom furrowed her brows, “Children of Hephaestus. Blacksmith guy.”

“Right.” She nodded with a click of her tongue. “Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” You smirked cheekily, ignoring the scoff and evil look she sent you in response. 

“Alright. I best go.” She interrupted just as you went to make another comment about her guest, “I will see you at the end of summer. Okay?” 

“Okay. Love you.” 

Truthfully, you were happy to spend the rest of the day talking to your mom — it was so hot that morning that you’d thought about sacrificing your breakfast to Apollo in hopes that he’d ease up a little. You decided against it and just sent your prayers to each of them in general, hoping maybe your dad could fess up to actually being your dad. 

Clarisse had suspected you would soon join her in the Ares Cabin — something about your skills with a spear and the swift right hook you sent Chris when he made one too many comments on your form during your training session with her. You weren’t even sure why he’d been there, but you could probably fathom a guess if you judged by the looks he sent her whenever she wasn’t looking. 

After the exciting discovery that yes, you were good at something, Mr. D had come by to say you could either call your mom now or never. You chose the former option, obviously, and you only regretted it slightly as you heaved yourself up from the ground — already missing the sound of her voice. 

You didn’t let it linger, instead you pushed the creaky door of the Big House open as gently as you could, even though it still swung back against the wall, and nodded at the pair sitting on the porch, currently in a heated card game you couldn’t recognise. They didn’t look at you for long, Chiron muttering something about meeting the Demeter kids by the fields to test your gardening skills before putting down a card that made Mr. D grumble in his seat. 

You were trudging through the grass, huffing when the longer bits tickled your legs and made you go all itchy, when you spotted a body sat by the hearth in the horseshoe of cabins. You lit up, changing course and jogging over to them, “JoJo!”

Luke looked up at you, frowning, “What?”

His curls fell over his eyes and he shook them away, only to squint at the sun that shone into them. You sidestepped, your shadow proving ample shade so he could focus on you, and you stammered a bit when his face fell into focus. He was pretty. 

You let out a breathless chuckle, folding your arms, “From Horton Hears a Who.” He shows no signs of recognition, “You’ve never seen it?” Again, his face did little to answer you, so you shrugged, “Whatever. I’ll get an answer out of you one day, I’m sure. We’ve made steady progress.”

“Have we?” He hummed, picking at the worn sleeve of his hoodie. 

“Of course we have, ya’ nutmegger.” You quipped with a short chuckle, grinning when his eyes snapped back to yours. 

“You still haven’t told me where you’re from.” 

You tutted, “Where’s the fun in that? You gotta find out.”

He huffed, “Whatever.”

Since his outburst about New England the day before, Luke had done a considerable job at avoiding you. Well, you didn’t think he was doing it on purpose — he just wasn’t obligated to spend time with you anymore now that you were cleared to roam camp on your own. You’d seen him at breakfast, perched silently on the end of the bench and staring sadly at his soggy oatmeal, but then Clarisse had whisked you off to the training fields with Chris hot on her tail and you hadn’t seen him since. 

You weren’t completely sure why you were so determined to break his shell. Maybe it was because you knew he never used to be this way — that underneath the deep frowns and annoyed huffs, was a happy boy who would spend days in the sun with his teeth bared in a wide grin — and you yearned to get a peek of who Luke Castellan used to be. To bear your eyes on the side of him he kept away and to find out why he did so, to understand him on a level deeper than anyone around you did, or even deeper than you understood yourself. 

Or maybe because he’s hot. 

Either way, you weren’t letting him slide away that easily. No sir. You straightened your back, “Going to the gardens.” 

No reply, as usual. 

A huff, “Mind walking me? I don’t wanna get lost.”

He looked at you, brown eyes flitting over your expression, before licking his lips and standing, “Fine.”

You grinned then, wide and sunny, “Great.”

You knew where the gardens were — hell, you could see them from where you stood, the two teenage sons of Dionysus chasing each other with sticks while the Demeter kids scowled at them. But you were new, and Luke was ‘the guy’ for all the new campers, so really he wasn’t allowed to say no. 

You were desperate to know more about him; his favourite sport, movie, colour. Anything irrelevant that you could see in public and think: Luke. You just didn’t know where to start — he could shut down at any given moment, so which question was more fitting to ask before he built up his walls and fucked off? 

You settled for something easy — something subtle that wouldn’t hint towards you asking about him. An easy question that any reasonable tour guide would have to answer. 

“So, do you guys host any…mortal activities?” Looking up at him in question, brows raised as he once again made no indication that he’d even heard you speak. 

But he had, “Not usually. Sometimes on weekends we’ll play volleyball on the beach, and I think Lee Fletcher has a soccer ball he kicks around but…” He shrugged, “No. Not really.”

You hummed, “You said we. Do you play volleyball?”

Nice one. 

Luke stiffened a little, sort of appalled that you’d swerved the question on him so easily, but he answered with a grumble, “Not anymore.”

“Why?”

He shrugged, “Grew out of it.”

“Huh.” You said then, facing forward with a nod and continuing your trek through the long grass, occasionally reaching down to scratch your calves, “I don’t think I’ll ever grow out of baseball.”

Come on, Castellan, take the bait. 

“Baseball?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed, a little too excitedly for it to be a simple answer to a simple question. You lowered your volume and gave a more collected nod, “Yeah. Yes. I’ve played since I was old enough…little league.” You let out a weak chuckle, suddenly shy about the subject. 

Luke nodded at you, “First base?”

“Left field.” You corrected with a proud smile, “I got legs.”

“Oh.” He replied, a little caught off guard at that. Although, he was also caught off guard when you said you played baseball. 

You were debating whether or not to press when a gangly blonde boy with dark purple eyes jogged up to you and held out a wicker basket, “You’re the new kid right?” He didn’t wait for an answer before thrusting the basket to your chest, “I’m Pollux. We’re picking strawberries, c’mon, I’ll show you the best way to get ‘em.”

You weren’t sure there was a specific tactic to picking strawberries, but you stepped to follow him anyway. Turning your head to send a thankful smile to Luke for walking you down, you spotted him looking between you and Pollux with furrowed brows — then he noticed your stare and swallowed, nodding, “Uh, see you later.”

“Bye.” You replied, slightly starstruck. He walked off, but he did it slowly as if he was unsure of where to go next. You were positive he had somewhere to be — big shot counsellor and all — but as you stood, one foot in front of the other, face turned back to watch him go, he seemed to stutter in his steps at the top of the hill, deciding where to turn. His beaten converse led him west, and Pollux yelled you out of your stupor so you could help him and his brother pick strawberries. 

As suspected, your strawberry-picking skills were pretty much the same as everyone else’s — really, how can one person be any better at picking strawberries than another? It’s a very simple task. Either way, Castor and Pollux didn’t envision you as their long lost sister, and the Demeter kids apparently couldn’t smell it on you that you were one of them, whatever that meant, so you were back to your search for daddy dearest — at this point, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to find out anymore. All this hassle and for what? It’s not as if he was going to attend the daddy-daughter dance with you, no matter which god he might be. 

“So, do you, like, know Luke or something?” 

Henry Furstatt was a Demeter kid a couple of years younger than you, who had been set the task of walking you to the lake where you would rejoin the Hermes cabin on their canoe lesson. He wasn’t very talkative until you’d put some distance between yourselves and the strawberry fields, where he posed his question. 

You glanced at him with a thoughtful frown, “I mean, he’s been showing me around the past couple days, so…I guess —“

“I meant like,” He swallowed, waving his hands around, “from before. Did you know each other before you came to camp?”

“Oh.” You responded, tucking a loose hair that had fallen in front of your face away, “No. Why’d you think that?”

Henry shrugged, his loose-fitting camp shirt doing wonders to hide the movements, “Dunno. He just hasn’t talked to many people since he got back from his quest…but he’s talking to you.”

“Well.” You were suddenly a little sheepish — were you pushing Luke too much? Was your constant questioning making him uncomfortable? You were only on a mission to find out more about him because he interested you, but did you interest him, or was he ready to boot you as far as you’d fly? “He has to, doesn’t he? He’s still a counsellor, even if he does hate everyone here.” 

“True.” He settled with a nod, fiddling with a daisy he’d picked while you were walking. 

You breathed a content sigh when you finally stepped out of the grass — the summer blooming made it slightly unbearable to walk through, tickling at your legs the whole afternoon. The beating sun didn’t make you feel any nicer, but you just wafted your shirt a little as you walked past the Hermes cabin and towards the dock. 

Camp was always noisy; something you’d grown accustomed to the longer you stayed there. You never really noticed it until you were alone, but the chatter of the kids filled the air the whole day and only really faded out when they all went to sleep. It was slightly unnerving to sit in the silence, and the loud murmurs often comforted you — made you feel less suffocated as the new kid. Less eyes on you, the better. 

You were so used to the noise, in fact, that you almost completely brushed past the argument that was brewing outside the Ares cabin just a few metres away. Fortunately, Henry spotted the commotion, and pulled you to a halt in favour of staring at the ever-growing crowd. 

You followed his eyeline and spotted a burly looking boy with black hair — when he moved his head and the sun hit the right spots, you could see dark red highlights swimming in his locks. You thought that was a little bit much, but you forfeited commenting on it considering the giant machaira that hung on his back. 

The boy in question was sneering at someone in front of him, but the corners of his mouth were perked up in an amused smile that made you think he wasn’t angry yet, but he sure was getting there. You couldn’t see who he was talking to, but as Henry ventured closer, you were forced to follow and eventually his words reached your ears. 

“—big shot golden boy finally got himself a quest and doesn’t fancy sharing the details.” He laughed, deep and low in his throat. 

Henry patted someone on the shoulder, and they stepped aside to let him into the circle. You stayed behind him, watching over his head and finally checking out the opponent. Your eyes stopped on the familiar figure, and his familiar curls that hung over his eyes — eyes that were glaring daggers in the Ares kid’s direction, casting shadows over his cheekbones and making his scar look a little menacing. 

The boy continued after Luke showed no signs of replying, “We get it, Castellan. You failed, but that doesn’t mean you get to gatekeep the whole thing.”

“Dean, man.” You finally noticed Chris, standing off to the side of Luke and glancing at his brother in apprehension at the boy's words. “Back off.” 

Dean just snorted, “Don’t defend him, Rodriguez. We let him mope, now it’s time for him to spill the beans.” He took a step closer to Luke, “What happened on your quest?” 

You had only known Luke for two days. You weren’t sure if he was the type to fly off the handle, swing before reasoning, but you suddenly became aware that neither did anyone else. Sure, these people had known him for years — but you’d heard it from enough people to know that he was a different person these days. After his quest a couple of weeks ago, people had been walking on eggshells around the boy. Maybe a month ago, he would’ve calmly walked away and let Dean simmer in his anger. But now? Nobody could be sure, but judging by the look in his eyes, darkening by the second, you might be able to fathom a guess as to what he’s going to do with his hands now that they were rolled into fists. 

“I mean, is this about glory? Because you won’t exactly be sharing it — ya’ can’t share what you don’t have.”  Dean let out a chortle at his own joke, looking between his friends around him and grinning with them. 

Luke stepped forward. And — you couldn’t blame anyone, really. After that last comment, you were all expecting fists to be swung. It was only reasonable. Maybe the old Luke wouldn’t have done it, but this new Luke was looking increasingly more angry at the world as the days went by, so when he took one measly step forward, the crowd around him let out a collective woah! and put their hands out to stop him from lunging. Including yourself. 

Only he wasn’t about to punch Dean. His hand stayed dormant at his side, the only clear movement was the single step closer he’d taken to match the one the Ares boy had made earlier. He was only really stepping forward so his next words would hit harder — that’s all it was, words. They died on his lips when he realised the implications of his actions, looking between the outstretched arms and tense faces. 

He looked at Dean, “We can discuss quests when you get your own.” 

Then he walked off, past the crowd that didn’t bother stopping him. Looking around, you saw the looks on their faces — shame, from assuming Luke would evoke such violence off the sparring mat. You definitely felt it, but you didn’t stick around long enough to confirm that with anyone else. Instead, you left Chris to berate Dean in place of the head counsellor and followed the boy in question as he huffed up the hill towards the edge of the woods. 

“Hey!” You said, breathless (you were not an uphill climber). “Hey, Luke!”

He hesitated in his steps like he did earlier, but he didn’t turn around. His head twitched a little, like he wanted to look but was holding himself back, but you simply rounded him until you were face to face. The anger had long since dissolved from his expression, replaced with soft confusion. 

“Hi.” You huffed, still recovering from that incline, “Are you okay? That guy’s a dick.”

“I know.” He replied, short as usual. 

You licked your lips, still catching your breath, and nodded. He remained silent, looking around you like he was just waiting for you to leave. You decided to take the hint, muttering lowly, “Okay, sorry for bothering you.” 

But his hand reached out, circling your wrist just as you passed him. You looked at Luke, raising your eyebrows, watching as he stammered on his words, “I, uh, you aren’t bothering me. I just…”

He let go of you and you stepped back to your precious spot. Behind him, the crowd had dissipated, Dean long gone. Chris remained, staring up at the pair of you on top of the hill. You couldn’t pinpoint his expression, but he seemed to hesitate before turning his back. You looked up at Luke. 

“Why did you…come after me?” 

You scoffed a laugh, “What? Anyone would’ve, it’s like…common decency.”

He twisted his expression, looking amused and devastated all at the same time, “But they didn’t.” 

He was right; before you’d set off up the hill, everyone had just been watching him walk off. It seemed a little out of character, but then again, you didn’t know these people as well as you thought. Luke let out a sad chuckle, shaking his head, “Everyone’s sorta given up on me now that I’m…”

“Moody and depressed?” You finished, raising a single brow. You smiled at him, and it lifted into a grin when he smiled back, albeit only slightly. But you’d take it. “I just think that they’re a little unsure.”

“They’re scared, is what they are.” He said firmly, staring at the ground in mirth, “Their precious golden boy won’t clean up all of their messes anymore and they’re scared that they’ll have to start looking after themselves.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” You said, even if you didn’t believe it. How could you? You didn’t know these people, Luke did. “They’re just worried about you.” 

He scoffed, finally moving his head up and meeting your eyes. He went to say something, presumably another quip about the campers, but stopped himself. Backtracked. Instead he said, “Aren’t you angry that you haven’t been claimed yet?”

That was a deep question. You sat on it for a couple of seconds, reeling at the sudden shift of conversation, until you finally let out a low puff of air and shrugged, “I don’t really know how I feel. Why? Should I be?” 

“This camp, it’s —“ He huffed, “It helps you, sure. But it also forces you to…mould yourself into the perfect kid for — for a parent who doesn’t care enough to watch you grow up. Help you live, use their divine powers when a dragon is clawing your fucking face off!” 

He’d stepped closer to you, unknowingly, that final shout making you wince a little at the volume. He stopped then, evening his breaths and stepping back with an apologetic expression. You brushed it off. 

“A dragon clawed your face off?” 

“Yeah.” He chuckled weakly, “Tell anyone and I’ll kill you.” 

You smiled at him, shamefully admiring his face. Now that he wasn’t glaring in anger, and his face was more relaxed, you could see the whites of his eyes. His lashes, unreasonably long, and his lips that were so plush you were close to asking him if he took a trip to see Dr Miami while he was on his quest. 

“Gods.” You murmured under your breath, “You’re so pretty it sorta pisses me off.” 

Luke laughed then — a genuine chortle that shook his chest and made passers by glance in his direction. His grin was uncharacteristically wide and for a second, a brief moment, you saw it. Luke Castellan, the one everyone looks up to. The one they turn to in times of peril, the one they giggle and gossip about under the shade of the fir trees. 

Then you knew your answer to Luke’s question. No — you weren’t angry that you hadn’t been claimed. In fact, you didn’t think you’d care even if you were so long as he was smiling at you like that. 

He calmed down, catching his breath, his face relaxing back into that cool expression he’s always got on. Maybe your eyes were playing tricks on you, but you were sure he looked a little less tense than before. He nodded, waving a hand, “Alright, Sunny. Let’s go canoeing.” 

“Sunny?” You asked, walking alongside him. 

He clicked his tongue, glancing down at you, “If Apollo won’t claim you as a child of the sun, then I will.” 

“Alright.” You smiled softly, looking forward so he wouldn’t see it and run off. You picked at your nails, “So long as I can call you JoJo.” 

“Let’s watch that silly movie it’s from and I’ll decide if you can call me that.”

“Deal.”

🏷️ @katherines-imagines @lovingjasontoddmakemewanttocry @jennapancake @cobaltskiez @loveryoushouldcomeoverr @m00ng4z3r @mischiefmoons (comment to be added/removed!)

#sunny!verse #@lia’s works #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you

[pigcowboys]

secret santa !

pairing: percy jackson x female!reader

summary: camp half-blood decides to do secret santa this year.

warning(s): pre-established relationship and kissing but, none, mostly!

a/n: merry (late) christmas to everyone who celebrates it!! this was supposed to be out on christmas day but.. uh yeah. this is slightly self-indulgent.

“you’re doing it right?” you asked, adjusting your position on your bunk bed as you tried your best to scrub out the nasty maroon stain you’d spilled onto the fabric.

it was almost christmas day and with that important birthday coming up, it meant only one thing for you, gift shopping. not that you hated it — honestly. it was just the idea of somehow disappointing your friends.

the stakes were higher this year considering the fact chiron had brought up the idea of doing a secret santa with the rest of the camp. everyone voted in agreement the idea — well, except for clovis but, to be fair he wasn’t conscious when the announcement was made.

soon after it was set in stone that the camp would be hosting its very first secret santa and then following that, everyone was assigned a partner.

piper got annabeth, annabeth got leo, leo got piper and somehow travis stoll had gotten clarisse. that last part was going to be interesting. you even got someone as well, too. not that it made you anxious at all, you loved gifting people presents — great at it, dare you say.

well, it was a bit easier to gift people presents when you didn’t have to worry about whether or not your gift would somehow make the person hate you and question why they even started dating you in the first place.

so, it was safe to say you weren’t especially overjoyed when you got percy as your secret santa. your mind went blank as you shifted to the side, allowing percy to slide past you to reach for his paper with his santa.

you eyed him curiously as he stared at the words on the paper indifferently before a smile flashed onto his face. he turned the paper so your eyes had access to it clearly, completely missing the moment when your heart dropped.

"we got each other," percy said, tucking the paper into his pocket. "that's lucky, right?" you merely laughed nervously in response.

"yeah, totally." not lucky, not lucky at all.

“everyone is,” annabeth started “why? are you changing your mind?” annabeth asked, causing you to frown slightly.

“well, no..i think.” you trailed off, eyebrows furrowing as you flung your sponge to the side. gods, you seriously hoped this would wash out after a while.

“i wouldn’t wanna spoil the fun.”

“plus, you’re curious about what your secret santa might’ve gotten you.” annabeth chimed in.

“that too.” you replied. "any idea what percy might have in mind?"

annabeth merely hummed in response leaving you even more conflicted than before. what if he gets you an amazing gift and all you get him is some crap that he'll say he loves, a fake smile on his face before dumping it somewhere in his cabin 'till the next secret santa.

you didn't want to be that girlfriend. you actively rebuke any allegations that may have even brought that idea up.

“i am so screwed.” you sobbed out, pressing your fingers against your face as you sighed dramatically.

“you have time, use it.” annabeth reminded you. she was right, it was only 2 days till christmas day and even then, secret santa wasn’t going to happen till later into the evening.

“just don’t use too much, shopping places are never open for late minute gifts.”

“right, okay..” you murmured out. "i have time."

those 2 days came and went sooner than you expected it to and by christmas day morning, you were frantically wrapping up percy’s gift, thoughts racing as you tried to not think about whether or not the gift would be cool enough for him.

he’s be happy with anything you got him, you knew that. didn’t make ease your mind any less, though. you stumbled out of your cabin as you rushed towards the decorated tree that was out near the forest, courtesy of the demeter kids.

to be honest, even if you liked christmas or disliked it, everyone could appreciate the effort put into decorating the tree. especially with all the presents stacked under - it added to the scene. you bent down, carefully placing it underneath the tree, not too close so that it would obviously stick out, but not too far that people would forget it was there.

this was a big camp, after all.

you'd made your way over the mess hall, scanning over it for any signs of percy before taking a plate and shoving food onto it. you spared a part for your godly parent and then made your way toward the table to sit with everyone else.

even with percy missing, the mess hall was still lively - believe it or not. everyone seemed to be talking lively about their gifts and what they were expecting, something that didn't ease your anxieties about your own gift.

it didn't help at all when your eyes finally settled on percy's own across the room, a small smile pulling on his face as he tended to his plate. your mind had been so zeroed in on worrying you hadn't even clued in on the fact he was walking over to you, taking a seat beside you.

"thanks for saving me a seat." you fought back a smile at the sound of his tired voice. he must've been knocked out sometime after sword practice. you hummed in response, fiddling with your food as your mind raced.

your eyes drifted towards percy as you watched him silently from the corner of your eyes. between the bed hair and the disheveled state of his clothes, it was safe to say that he had just woken up. despite the anxieties that swirled in your mind and the ansty fidgeting of your legs, you couldn't deny that percy was gorgeous.

though, it just brought your mind back to your dilemma. secret santa would happen right after dinner and then would be campfire time. how could you sit and sing songs at the campfire knowing percy had hated your gift?

"you're being stranger than usual, y'know."

"hm?" you turned to look at percy who gave you a quizzical look. "i'm acting completely normal."

"you've barely touched your food."

you stared down at your plate, it looked like a ghost had gently floated over it - devoid of human ingestion.

"i'm not hungry." you lied, slapping yourself mentally when your stomach growled deeply.

"mhm.." percy nodded along, trying to suppress the smile on his face. "what's wrong?" he asked, pushing his plate aside as he turned his whole body to face you, something that didn't go unnoticed by you as you locked eyes with him.

"just..thinking."

"about?"

you narrowed your eyes at him, ignoring the tingling in your chest as you watched him carefully. you really hoped he hadn't caught onto the fact you were just checking him out at this point, turning your face away in embarrassment as you rested your head on your elbows,

"stuff."

"what kind of stuff?"

"important stuff."

"like what?"

"percy, will you leave me alone!" a laugh, followed by his hand brushing against your back soothingly. you titled your head up to look at him as your head rested on your elbows.

"sorry, sorry." he smiled. "just hang in there, okay?" was all he whispered in your ear before moving back to press a sloppy kiss to your head that made your face scrunch in disgust.

"gross...you're so disgusting, percy.." you murmur, wiping the wet blotch of spit that was left on your forehead from the kiss.

"i love you too."

"what'd you think you got?" piper asked, shifting in her seat slightly as she waited for annabeth to respond.

"you're asking me like you don't know what i got." annabeth replied with a small smile.

"can't hurt to imagine."

you zoned out the rest of the conversation as you suppressed the urge to scream out of frustration. the camp chatted lively around you, cueing you in on the fact that you'd been cuddled up beside percy without once offering a word to him.

not that he minded, he was aware you wanted to be with your thoughts and he respected it. just..didn't feel very..couple appropriate. it felt like you'd been talking to yourself way more than the guy who was supposed to be your boyfriend.

"quiet down," chiron's voice rang through all the chatter, reducing the crowd to silence. he'd somehow managed to shimmy matching ugly christmas sweaters onto him and mr. d respectively. the image alone made you want to pull out your phone and snap a picture.

though, you decided against it, taking notice of the death glares mr.d had sent your way.

chiron announced that secret santa would be happening in a bit, receiving a series of cheers from some campers in the crowd. you shifted slightly in percy's hold, prompting him to look at you - a curious look on his face.

"you okay?"

"yeah, it's just kind of cold, i guess."

percy hummed in response before pulling you into him so you were resting against his chest. he rested his chin on your head with a small smile.

“is this better?” he whispered, to which you merely hummed in response, snuggling yourself against him as you tried to get comfortable. now, you weren’t a fan of those overly lovely couples that couldn’t keep their hands off each other in public but, you had to admit that being in percy’s arms felt more than good with the day you’ve had.

chiron continued on with his announcements, listing out the series of activities tomorrow and also stating as well that the stables would be closed on account of an “accident” that had happened in there. that part was received with a small shiver.

“that’s all i’d like to say, furthermore, I’d like to wish everyone a merry christmas.” then, chiron and mr.d stepped to the side as the festivities continued on.

it was time.

“wonder what everyone got.” you murmured, watching quietly as the rest of the campers hurried towards the tree decked out with over the top presents. percy stood up, offering you his hand as he locked them.

“me too.” percy agreed, sighing slightly. “gods, all i hope is that someone doesn’t make the mistake of gifting travis firecrackers ever again.”

“or a megaphone.”

“oh, yeah, i totally remember that year.”

“I’m sure everyone else does too..”

percy cracked a grin, one that cause your stomach to flutter slightly as you smiled back at him. he squeezed your hand before making short strides towards the rest of the campers.

you should’ve been anxious — you were anxious. though, your concerns seemed to slip away the longer you stayed with percy. the way he looked at you, it made you realize just one thing that you were sure a crummy present wasn’t going to change.

he loved you.

camp activities were fun and all but, extremely loud.

you’d figured it’d only been amplified by the fact that everyone was opening their christmas gifts and comparing what they’d gotten from each of their respective partners.

you could respect that, secret santa was no joke.

yet, you’d still managed to slip away with percy while none of the adults were watching in favorite of opening your gifts in the company of one another rather than the rest of the camp. and judging by the sputters of stars in the night sky illuminating percy and your faces, it was a good call.

“you think they’ll be mad at us for ditching everyone else?” you asked, clutching your present to your chest as you adjusted your winter coat.

“we’ll be back before they know it,” percy replied, turning to face you with a smile. he was always smiling. “and anyways, everyone else would be too busy with their presents to care.”

you sighed, taking a seat next to percy as you rested his gift in-front of you. percy turned to look at you with an anxious look on his face as he cleared his throat, holing his hand out as he waited for you to take the gift from him.

you looked back at him, nerves set ablaze as well as you exchanged your gifts, resting the wrapped present in your lap as you ogled the festive paper.

“so, truth be told — i’m pretty nervous.” percy blurred out of the blue.

“gods, i’m so glad you said that cause, i so was too.” you sighed softly, your heartbeat stilling for the first time this night as you shifted your body so you were turned towards percy. “i really wanted my gift to special and.. i feel like if it isn’t you’d like hate me or something.”

“i could never hate you.”

you paused for a moment. it’d only be a few years since you’d started to date percy, you should’ve been more used to his personality. yet, it never seemed to catch you off guard when he said these kind of sentimental things.

“even if i got you like..a smelly sock for christmas?”

percy laughed before shaking his head. you bite the inside of your mouth, frowning slightly as your face grew hot.

“sorry, i’ve been so quiet tonight.” you averted percy’s gaze, picking at the clear taping of your present. “it’s just — I don’t know, i guess i was lost in my own head.”

percy watched you quietly, leaning forward to cup your cheek as he planted a soft kiss to your lips, pulling back to stare you head on in your eyes.

“don’t apologize for something like that, it’s fine — really.” percy replied, his voice soft and careful. it made your body feel warm.

“if you want, you could open my gift first,” he added, moving his hand to rest atop yours. “that way you won’t be so nervous.”

you smiled, a genuine one. “that or your gift will be so amazing that it makes mine look horrible.” percy grinned back at you.

“let’s see.”

you nodded, turning to stare down the gift in your lap before you started to unravel it. it wasn’t a particularly big present, not that you minded at all. anything from percy was something to treasure. you moved the packaging to the side carefully as you stared at the small box that hit behind it.

it wasn’t cardboard, more like.. leather? or silk. and it was blue — percy’s trademark. you looked to him with a curious look on your face before turning back to gaze at the small box. you let your finger glide over the material once more before you opened it.

“percy..?” you mumbled out, voice barely a whisper.

inside the box contained a small ring that looked to be just about the size of your ring finger. your heart dropped at the sight of it — in a good way. it was pretty, careful patterns etched into that showed that it was finely crafted. and at the center of it, a small gem that was the same shade of your favorite color.

the cherry on top.

your eyes started to water involuntarily as your lips trembled. you were at a loss for words, how could you say anything? you stared at percy in shock as you tried to grasp the right words to say, eventually coming up with the idea to not say any words at all, leaning forward as you pulled him into a tight hug.

percy hugged back immediately, burying his head into your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around you gently.

you pulled back to look at him, tears pooling down your face as he wiped them away with his thumb, pressing a kiss to your tear stained cheeks.

“you’re..you’re totally insane for being nervous.” you managed out, laughing slightly as you choked back a sob. “how did you get the money to pay for this?”

“i saved up!” he replied brightly, a proud smile flashing on his face. your shoulders trembled as a warm laugh broke through your lips, causing percy to flush slightly in your hold.

“thank you so much percy.” you whispered, moving your hand to rest on his cheek as you spoke. “you really didn’t have to get me something like this.”

“it’s all fine.” he replied calmly. “it’s you were talking about, y’know.” your face burned with embarrassment as you smiled uncontrollably, pulling percy in for a deeper kiss.

you pulled away from him, watching quietly as percy took the small blue box you’d placed on the floor beside you and opening it. he held the promise ring in his hand, gently taking your own as he slid the ring on carefully. you watched him quietly before press another kiss to his face.

then another, and another.

and before you knew it, you were peppering kisses all over his face, taking the small giggles he emitted from his lips as a sign to do even more than before. percy managed your name out though his giggles, fingers digging into your winter coat as he tried to pry you off of him.

“the — gift!” he giggled, shutting his eyes tightly as you pressed another kiss to the bridge of his nose. “what about — your gift?”

“another time.” was all you whispered as you slid the gift away, focusing in on making sure you’d filled every single spot off percy’s with the feeling of your lips.

safe to say percy hadn’t gotten to see what you’d gotten him till a little later into the night.

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson fluff #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson x you #x reader #x reader fluff #pjo fluff

[harrysmmm]

𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 | 𝒅.𝒎

Draco Malfoy x Y/N (f!reader)

Setting: Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince

Summary: where Draco has had a crush on you since forever, but you were dating Harry, until you two break up.

A/N: I wrote this in a day. Hope you like it! I might make a part two if you want it :) happy reading!

W/C: 4.6K

masterlist here

“But I am in love with you Y/N!”

“We’re always fighting Harry; it’s actually getting too much at this point.”

You and Harry had been dating since fourth year, when he asked you to the Yull Ball, but you’d had a crush on each other since you met. However, since fifth year, when the Order of the Phoenix was created within Hogwarts and Harry became more dedicated to Voldemort’s pursue, things had gotten out of hand between you two. You were constantly getting into arguments – Harry not communicating anything with you and you having to rip the thoughts out of him. You felt like you came as Harry’s last priority and although you had much love for him, you were sick of the ongoing difficult tension between the two of you.

“It’s not because we fight a lot that it means I don’t love you, Y/N,” Harry exclaimed.

You were both in Harry’s dorm, everyone having dinner at the Great Hall.

“But it does Harry, it does!” you added. “I understand you’re going through a lot but you’re always rude towards me, you don’t talk to me about anything that is going on and you expect me to know what to say to you, what to do all the goddamn time, I’m done!”

“Fine! We’re done then! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed – you know where to find the door,” he said getting in bed as if you weren’t standing there.

“You’re unbelievable. Good fucking night.” You slammed the door behind you and left to your dorm.

You spent the night crying under the sheets – heartbroken by the person you had loved the most.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

“Y/N the Sopophorus bean shouldn’t be added now,” Hermione told you.

“Huh?” You were too distracted with glancing at Harry that Potions’ class was put on the background.

“Okay, that’s it, you need to stop looking at Harry. In fact, you need to stop everything that includes Harry,” she snapped at you.

You didn’t say anything because you knew it was true.

“It has been a month since you broke up, Y/N. And fine, Ron and I can deal with you both not talking to each other but you need to seriously start moving on.”

“Okay, okay, no need of a lecture.”

“What’s gotten into you today? You’re looking at him more than usual.” Hermione looked at Harry who was also looking at their direction. “And he’s looking at you more than usual.”

“It’s not the time, Hermione. I think Draco can hear us,” you whispered. Draco was always sitting behind you two.

“He’s focused on the potion, he’s not listening. Tell me,” Hermione said, seeing Draco carefully stirring the potion.

“Well, I don’t know if he’s told you, but I know he’s dating someone. I saw them both making out by the lake yesterday.”

Hermione didn’t know what to say.

“But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is who he’s dating,” you continued.

“Who?” Hermione asked, very shocked by the turn of events.

You stared at her before saying it. “Ginny.”

Hermione didn’t say a word, speechless about the confession.

“Yep,” you simply said, going back to the potion in front of you both.

It was a wild twist in the story because Ginny, Hermione and you were very close, and Ginny had been one of the girls that had comforted you since the breakup. The moment you saw both of them snogging you felt like something died within you. Not only because it clearly stated that Harry had moved on from you, but also that one of your best friends had been lying and pretending in front of you for no one knew how long. You hadn’t talked to Ginny and the tension between you and Harry had majorly grown since.

Hermione and you continued to work on the potion, unaware of the fact that Draco had heard every single word of the conversation.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Draco had been in love with you since he set foot at Hogwarts. Long before he knew what love meant and how it felt, he had tried to impress you indirectly, by flying up to the sky with Neville’s personal belongings, by applying for Quidditch’ seeker position, by walking up to Hagrid’s hippogriff and trying to ride it, by facing up Potter when he became a Triwizard champion and had asked you to the Yull Ball and by applying to Umbridge’s little inquisitory group to try and dismantle the order. He did all that for you, and although you were totally unaware of the boy’s feelings, he didn’t know of any other way to get to you. In his mind, you were absolutely unreachable. He was aware of how other boys in class talked about you – because needless to say, you had been categorized as the prettiest girl in class. Draco’s enmity with Harry had developed because of Draco’s jealousy on your relationship with him. You had been a close friend of the chosen one since first year, and even Professors had always thought that you two would make a lovely couple. Draco had had to bear the flirtatious looks of you and Harry during class; how you would clap at him when he was about to catch the snitch during a match; how you would kiss him at the Great Hall during breakfast; how you would both giggle together running through the hallways of the castle; how you would become very worried when Harry was told to face detention by Umbridge. But even if Draco knew that he didn’t really exist for you despite of all his acts, he couldn’t forget about you because you were the only light that he felt he had in his life. The thought of you loving him one day was what kept him living each day that went by. He would constantly daydream about you before bed, during class, in the Slytherin common room, during lunch – he was just so enamored by you. However, deep down he felt like he didn’t deserve you, that was the ultimate reason to why he had never approached you. And all his jealousy, fury and sadness tended to be projected onto Potter, the boy that had conquered your heart.

He had overheard your conversation with Hermione during Potions. He had seen your light diminish since the breakup but the day you had told Hermione you had caught Harry with Ginny, he had seen you at your worst. He couldn’t comprehend how Potter had treated you so poorly during the last year of your relationship and how he could’ve gone behind your back kissing the Weasley girl. He felt so protective over you he decided to confront Harry by the lake, where he knew he could find him snogging with Ginny.

“Potter and a Weasley. Pathetic. Does your brother know about this, red-hair?”

“Malfoy, get the fuck out of here,” said Harry, looking for his wand in his pocket.

“You,” he talked to Ginny. “You should be ashamed of how pathetic you are as a friend. Does Y/L/N know about this?”

Ginny didn’t respond knowing he was right.

“That’s it, septum-” Harry started saying, being interrupted by Draco.

“Expelliermus!” Draco unarmed Harry.

Harry approached Draco and they both started to fight with each other physically. Draco punched Harry on the nose but before he could leave Harry kicked Draco, the latter falling on the ground.

They didn’t stop until they were both incapable of getting up.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

“Will you stop eating?!” asked Hermione to Ron, hitting him with a book. “Your best friend is missing!”

“Oi! Turn around, you lunatic” said Ron, seeing Harry enter the Great Hall.

He sat down in front of Hermione with a bleeding nose and bleeding wounds everywhere.

“Where have you been?” asked Hermione.

“Nowhere,” replied Harry.

You were sitting down a few seats away from the scene, wondering what in the world had happened to Harry. The answer was revealed when a certain bleached one entered the Great Hall, also bleeding.

“What happened Harry? Did you fight with Malfoy?” asked Hermione, having seen the blonde’s entrance.

“He was looking for it,” replied Harry.

Hermione looked over at you worried. You shrugged your shoulders in response. Hermione looked back at Harry.

“Harry, you should report this to Professor McGonagall.”

Harry didn’t reply and kept eating. Hermione looked back at you worried. You mouthed to her “I got this”. You thought Malfoy’s rivalry with Harry had cooled down that year but based on what had happened that afternoon you were worried it had something to do with the conversation you had had with Hermione during Potions’ class, even if you didn’t know why.

Dinner ended and students started to periodically get up from their seats and head towards their common rooms. You waited until Draco got up and followed him through the hallways. When no one was with you two, you called him.

“Malfoy!”

He turned around and looked at you, only to look away and keep walking.

You ran up to him.

“I want to talk to you,” you said.

“Why?” he replied, still not looking at you and walking straight.

“Can we stop for a second and talk? I can’t keep up your pace.”

He stopped and looked at you annoyed.

“What?” he repeated.

“I know you got into a fight with Harry.”

He rolled his eyes and kept walking.

“What happened, exactly?” you asked, running after him.

He didn’t reply.

“Draco!”

He stopped when you said his name.

“Why do you wanna know, Y/L/N?”

“I know you two were leaving each other alone until today. I wanna know why you fought.”

“Why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore. We don’t talk.”

“That’s not my fucking problem,” he replied.

“Did you hear anything I told Hermione during Potions?”

Draco startled but tried to hide it. You still noticed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied.

“Then why did you two fight?”

“I’m getting bored of this conversation already.” He kept walking.

“Fine, just so you know, if you did it for what I said during Potions class, that was not the way to go,” you said, still standing up. He kept walking. “But thank you nonetheless.”

He kept walking, still having heard your words. A smirk got on his face as he walked towards his common room.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

A week later, you were eating in the Great Hall with Hermione.

“Have you already confronted Ginny about the whole thing?” Hermione asked you.

“No, not yet, have you?”

“Of course not, I don’t wanna get mingled,” she replied.

You looked up and saw Draco walking through the corridor. His eyes met yours as he sat down for lunch.

“How could Harry be so insensitive? And how come Ginny never talked to you before anything happened?” Hermione was still ranting about it – your gaze was still on Draco, as was his.

You didn’t know what had exactly changed since the day you talked to him but suddenly his eyes were speaking to you and you found yourself intrigued by his presence.

He looked away from you and focused on what his friend was telling him.

You engaged in conversation with Hermione.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

You were studying for a Transfiguration test out on the grass field. You were trying to turn a cup into a flower but the more you tried, the less it seemed to work. You knew that you needed to have a calmed mind in order to work but you couldn’t stop overthinking Harry’s thing with Ginny and your encounter with Malfoy.

In the distance, you saw Draco walking down gripping on some books. He saw you studying but quickly looked away. You debated in your head whether you should go up to him but you thought you’d look stupid without having anything to say, so you decided not to.

You noticed another boy was also looking at you. He came towards you.

“Hi, Y/N” Harry said.

“Hey, Harry” you replied, without looking at him.

“Hum… I just came to apologize,” he mumbled.

“For what?” you asked.

“You know for what,” he replied.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Harry. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to study.”

“Always making things so difficult, I’m trying to do the right thing here,” he finally said, getting pissed.

“Are you though? Because as far as I know the right thing had to be done months ago, now it’s not the time Harry!”

“You don’t know what I’ve had to bear with-”

“You never bothered to share it with me in the first place!”

“It’s not that simple Y/N.”

“Nothing is ever simple with you Harry.”

“Hasn’t she told you to go, Potter?” Draco appeared behind Harry.

Harry turned around. “What do you want, Malfoy?”

“I have a pending conversation with Y/L/N. Besides, this is not your yard, scar head.”

“Whatever,” Harry looked back at you. “Enjoy your time with Malfoy.” He left.

“What was that for?” you asked Draco.

“He was being a git, can’t bare it.”

You stayed in silence and looked at his books. “You wanna… perhaps… study with me?”

He looked at you for a few seconds. “I’m good.” He also left.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

It was one a.m. at night – you couldn’t sleep, your mind going back to different moments of the last few months. You decided to get up and head to the kitchen. You had befriended some of the elves and as they were cleaning up maybe they could give you a cup of hot milk. You went down the stairs, exited the common room and walked through the hallways. While you were walking, someone carrying a torch approached you.

“What are you doing here?” Malfoy was standing in front of you.

“I could ask you the same thing,” you replied, still bothered he ditched you the other day.

“I am patrolling. I am a prefect,” he replied.

Right. You had forgotten about that. “I was just going to get a glass of milk.”

“Where?”

“To the kitchen,” you simply replied.

“Students don’t go to the kitchen. Especially at this time of the night,” Draco said, with disgust on his face.

“Draco, I just want a glass of milk. I can’t sleep,” you tried to convince him.

“You’re not going to the kitchen, Y/L/N,” he directly said. “Don’t make me give you detention.”

“Fine,” you replied, turning around. “Thanks for your help, Malfoy.”

“Anytime Y/L/N,” he replied.

When you had left his sight, you turned to another corridor that also led to the kitchen. You were going down the stairs when suddenly you heard a voice behind you.

“Do you think I’m stupid or what?” Draco snapped at you.

“I’m going to bed!” you lied.

“That’s not the way to your bed, Y/N/L, unless you’re sleeping in the Slytherin dorms – which you’re not.”

“Who says I’m not?” you teased.

Draco looked at you being fed up.

“You’re not a Slytherin.”

“That doesn’t matter. I can still sleep there.”

“Where exactly?”

“That’s none of your business,” you replied.

“It is because you’re lurking in the hallway at one fucking a.m. in the morning!”

“You told me to go to bed, I’m going to bed!” you replied, slightly having fun with the conversation.

“That’s not the way to your bed!”

“I’m sleeping with someone!”

“Who?” he asked.

“A Slytherin,” you replied.

“Who?” he repeated.

“You don’t know him.”

“Oh, I can assure you if he’s a Slytherin I do know him.”

“His name is Tom.” You couldn’t think of any other name.

“Well, either way, I’m not letting you go sleep in someone else’s room.”

“But I won’t tell, I swear.”

“You just want your glass of milk and you’ve made up a whole story to convince me,” he ended up saying.

“Please Draco, I’m really thirsty.”

He sighed. “I am going with you then. If you get on my nerves I’m calling Snape, Y/L/N. And don’t lie to me again,” he finally said, giving up.

“Thank you Draco, really appreciate it.”

He went down the stairs with you, and headed towards the kitchen. The elves had already left.

“Alright, go grab the milk and we go,” he said, leaning over the counter.

You started looking for the milk in different cupboards until you found it. You grabbed a cup and poured yourself some milk.

“Don’t you have to patrol with Pansy?” you asked him.

“Why are you asking questions?”

“I’m curious. I thought you had to patrol with another prefect,” you replied.

“Well yeah, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be the one in the same house as you. I’m patrolling with Weasley tonight but each of us go our separate ways.”

“I didn’t know Ron was patrolling tonight,” you added, realizing how long it had been since you had talked to Ron after the incident with Harry.

“I assume you’re still not talking to Potter,” he added.

“Nope. Not missing it either.”

“I have to ask, how is that you dated him? What did you see in him?” Well, that was an interesting question coming from Malfoy. “I can’t imagine dating someone like Potter, what a twat.”

“Well, I fell in love, I guess. I mean, he’s good looking, brave, passionate-”

Draco laughed. “Pff, sure thing.”

“And why is that you two hate each other so much?” you asked him in return.

“He’s always going around as if the world belongs to him for being the chosen one.”

“Don’t you do the same though?” you asked.

He startled. “No, I’m the one who puts him on his place.”

“He could say the same about you,” you added.

“What are you guys talking about?” Ron appeared in the kitchen. “I heard some noises, I thought they were first years out of bed.”

“Just came down to the kitchen to give Y/L/N some milk, she couldn’t sleep.”

“Since when do you do that for anyone, Malfoy?” asked Ron.

“I’ll suggest you keep your mouth shut, Weaslebee,” he replied.

“Well, I’m done here guys, so if you’ll excuse me I’ll go to bed now.”

“Go with her, I don’t trust her a bit,” Draco said to Ron.

“Good night Draco,” you said to him before leaving.

“Whatever,” he replied.

Once you were out of sight, he let himself relax again. Even if he showed the opposite, that had been one the best moments he had experienced in at least the last year.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

It was Christmas break, you were in the Hogwarts Express to go back home. You were sitting in a wagon with Hermione talking to you about the past exams but all you could think about was Draco. You were constantly replaying in your mind what happened in the hallways at night when you two bumped into each other and you were slightly convinced he also had a crush on you by the way he acted. The urge to see him was so intense that you told Hermione you were going to buy something to eat and left the wagon.

You went to the Slytherin wagon and found him sitting down with Blaise and Pansy, two of his friends. You walked through the corridor to the other side of the wagon, peripherally having a look at him. You noticed he was also looking at you.

“This is not your wagon, Gryffindork” Pansy told you as you were passing.

“I’m just passing through,” you replied.

“Right.”

You hoped that Draco would say something but nothing came out of his mouth. You turned back and left the wagon.

What a prick. After all, he was still a pureblood Slytherin, and one of the worst kind, what were you thinking?

You went back to your wagon.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

It was the day that students came back from Christmas break to Hogwarts. You had spent a lovely holiday with your family and you felt ready to face whatever was about to happen. Whatever except for what happened.

“Y/N, I miss you.” Harry was standing in front of you in the hallway.

“What?” you replied.

“I’ve been giving our situation some thought and realized I acted as a prick with you and wanted to amend things.”

“Aren’t you with Ginny?”

“We haven’t talked during the break,” he replied.

“Well, I’m not some kind of rebound, Harry.”

“No, of course not. That’s not what I meant.”

“Besides, I like someone else now.” It was painful to say but it was true. You were over the hills for a certain blonde.

“Who?” he asked.

“It’s none of your business, Harry.”

“Y/N, we can work it out.”

“No, we can’t. We’re done Harry, you need to move on.”

He stood up as you left. The whole situation had given you a sense of control that had made you feeling unstoppable. You felt this urge of confessing, for some odd reason. It had felt to so good to state out loud what you felt for Draco that now the only person that was left to tell was him. You didn’t really think of what his reaction could be, you just wanted to spread the word to him.

You roamed in the hallways looking for his face until minutes later you spotted him with Blaise and Pansy. You walked up to him.

“Malfoy.”

Pansy and Blaise, as well as Draco, looked surprise.

“What?” he replied.

“Can I talk to you, in private?” Blaise and Pansy looked at each other, confused.

Draco just sighed and stood up – both of you going to a quieter and more intimate place.

“What’s going on Y/L/N?” he asked you.

“Okay, so I’m about to say something to you. I don’t know how you’re going to feel about it, but I’m still taking the risk. Trust me, this comes as a surprise to me as well as it will come to you.”

“Alright,” he replied. “What is it?”

You sighed, your heartbeat being all over the moon.

“I like you, Draco.”

“What?” he said.

“I like you.”

“I heard you, but what does that mean?”

You started to feel the regret coming.

“I might have a crush on you.”

“You have a crush on me?” he repeated.

“That’s what I said, yep.”

“Alright.”

You stood in silence. “Alright?”

“Yeah, what do you expect me to say?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“Well, thank you for telling me. I’m going then.”

“Okay, see you.”

“Bye.”

You stood up there not understanding what had just happened.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

A month went by and you hadn’t talked to Draco again. You felt so ashamed about confessing to him that you had tried to avoid him at any cost. He had left you so pathetically that you couldn’t bare the thought of him knowing what you felt. It was eating you inside. You hadn’t told Hermione about the situation. Instead, you might’ve agreed on going out with Harry again. You just needed to show Draco (and yourself) that you weren’t desperately crying in a corner about what happened.

You started then dating Harry again.

You were walking down a hallway when you found yourself facing Draco. You looked down hoping to avoid him.

“Y/L/N,” he said to you.

“What?”

“Hadn’t seen you in a while, where have you been?”

“Around,” you replied.

“I’ve seen you’ve got back with scarhead.”

“Yeah.”

“I thought that was over for you.”

“Well, it’s clearly not,” you replied.

“Good,” he said.

You wanted to die at that exact moment. “Goodbye Malfoy.”

You left withholding some tears.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

It had been two months since the last time you had spoken to Draco. You were still dating Harry, trying to go back to how it used to be but things had profoundly changed within you. Your heart belonged to someone else.

You had gone to Hogsmeade to clear your thoughts. You were walking around the different stores and pubs until you saw Draco talking to Pansy in front of the Three Broomsticks. Something pounded in your heart when you saw how close they were. He saw you walking but didn’t engage in conversation.

An hour later you were tired of walking around and you were going back to the castle until someone stop you halfway.

“Y/L/N!” You turned around and saw Draco walking up to you. “What’s up?”

“Hi,” you replied.

“Enjoying the day?”

“Fairly,” you replied.

“You came alone? Where’s the funny trio?”

“I don’t know.”

“Not even the boyfriend came?”

“Do you see Harry anywhere nearby?” you snapped.

“Merlin, what has gotten into you?”

“Nothing.” You kept walking.

“Tell me, I’m curious.”

“I said nothing, Malfoy.”

He remained silent for a bit. “Is it because of what you told me a few months ago?”

“What did I tell you?”

“That you liked me.”

“Whatever,” you replied.

“You’re with Potter now, everything is fine, isn’t it?” he kept going.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Malfoy.”

“I mean, you were the one that got back with Potter, I don’t know what I’ve done in the story.”

“I said drop it,” you replied.

“Alright, alright,” he said, still walking by your side. “But if you want to tell me something, just say it.

You snapped. “Oh, so you’re expecting that I smile and laugh with you after I told you that I liked you and you literally left me standing there?”

“What did you want me to say? Besides, you got back with Potter!”

“You could’ve handled things differently!”

“Like how?”

“Like talking to me about how you felt, even if it was not reciprocated.”

“You didn’t ask me, you just told me you liked me, what do you answer to that?”

“You say something, you do something, for Merlin’s beard!” you exclaimed.

“Well now you’re with Potter, right?”

You didn’t answer.

“Because if you’re not, maybe we can talk about it.”

“Talk about what?” you asked.

“About us.”

Something lit up in you.

“What is it with us?”

“I don’t know, what do you want it to be?”

“Draco, stop asking me abstract questions.”

“I might want something with you, Y/N.”

You stopped and looked at him. “Something like what?”

“Like maybe dating, if that’s what you want.”

“You want to date me? Do you like me?”

“If I’m asking you to date me it’s because I like you, Y/N.”

“Since when?” you asked.

“I don’t really know.” He did know though, since you had said your first words in class almost.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, why would I be fooling you?”

“I don’t know Draco, I don’t know.”

He got closer to you.

“So, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna date me or stay with Potter?”

You looked at him, he was partly smiling. You thought he was looking gorgeous.

“I like you, it’s not working between Harry and I,” you ended up saying.

“So you’re gonna break up with him?” he asked.

“Yes.” He couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He took both your hands and rubbed his thumb, caressing your fingers.

“I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time,” he said.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I never thought you felt the same.”

“But I told you I did.”

“I was too scared. Besides, you got with Potter so I thought you were in love with him.”

“Right, I’m not.”

He got closer to you, his lips approaching yours as he placed a short peck on them.

You laughed.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” you replied.

“Right.”

And that’s how you both went back to the castle, both your hands tangled with one another.

#draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy smut #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #hogwarts imagine

[iamnotoriginalphil]

Green Eyed Monster (Melissa Schemmenti x f!Reader)

Synopsis: Melissa doesn't like your new friendship with Ashley

Words: 5.4k

Warnings: smut, jealousy, praise kink, marking, possessive behaviour, swearing

Melissa clenched her jaw, eyes trained on you. You laughed, your shoulder bumping against Ashley’s as she showed you something on her phone. That laugh was Melissa’s, the one that always made her stomach swoop. Delighted and giggly, teeth sunk into your lip as if you were trying to stifle it. She never wanted you to stifle it.

You lent closer to Ashley, whispering something. She’d never seen her aide so quiet, not shouting or talking over someone or singing some song with stupid lyrics. She strained her ears, trying to hear what you were saying but Janine was rambling about something and she missed whatever it was. She stabbed at her salad over and over again.

“Send me the link,” you said, standing from the couch.

“You know I will,” Ashley said before tapping something into her phone.

You slid into your usual seat at Melissa’s table, looking down at your phone. You shot a smile at Ashley before tapping on something. Melissa was staring at you, trying to see your phone screen as something bubbled in her chest. Something dark and dangerous and familiar.

“Didn’t realise you were friends,” she spat across the table at you.

You looked up, eyes widening at whatever expression was on her face. You glanced to Barbara then back to her.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” you said, and she didn’t like the uncertainty in your voice.

“Since when?” she asked.

“Since I wasn’t the one who had to work with her,” you replied slowly, “why? Am I not allowed to be?”

“No, no, it’s fine.” She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back in her seat, “do what you want.”

“Alright,” you replied, “well, right now what I want to do is go prep in my classroom so I’m going to go.”

And just like that you were out of your seat and walking out of the room, leaving an empty feeling in Melissa’s chest. She watched you, pressing her lips together to keep from shouting something after you. She’d lost that one, she knew it.

“Are you gonna tell that young lady how you feel or we going to have to sit in suspense for another semester?” Barbra asked.

“What?” She turned to look at her friend.

“You clearly like that girl. You should just tell her,” she said.

“I do not,” she said, “I just don’t like her being friends with Ashley.”

“Yeah and next you’ll be saying the sky isn’t blue,” Jacob said, laughing as he nudged Janine.

She turned to look at him over her shoulder, glaring at him so hard her recoiled. Without Janine catching him he would have fallen from his seat which did help settle the feeling in her chest.

“I say tell her,” Janine said, “love is great. More people should be in love.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” she snapped.

Only later, at the end of the day, you stopped by her room to talk to Ashley and not her. You were standing at the back of her classroom, whispering over a phone while she watched on from her desk. That same bubbling feeling was growing in her chest, the plastic of the pen in her hand beginning to creak threateningly.

You looked up from the phone, smiling at Ashley, your hand resting on her forearm. She knew what that felt like, the feeling of your fingers lingering long after you’d left. There was no possible universe where Ashley would appreciate that feeling. And that smile. Bright and happy and like Ashley had done something spectacular for you. That was her smile when she brought you donuts in the morning or shared her baked ziti with you.

You tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and she watched your fingers. She must have seen you do that exact move thousands of times before but now it made her grind her teeth as you looked up from under your eyelashes as you did it. Only you were looking at the wrong person. And that giggle again.

The pen in her hand snapped.

Your eyes shot up to her, finally looking at her for the fist time since entering the room. Your mouth fell opened and she saw you take a startled breath in. She had no idea what her face was doing but a look of concern flashed over your face and you took a hesitant step forward. She ignored it, looking back down at her marking, refusing to acknowledge you.

She heard your goodbye to Ashley, heels clicking as you walked out the door. It was the longest she’d seen Ashley stay after school the entire time she’d been her aide. Which only made her glare at the young woman.

The next morning, at the copier getting ready for the spelling test she had to give that day, she saw you walk in, making a beeline right for Ashley. Your smile was excited, as if you’d been waiting all morning to see her.

“Hey,” you said, “look.”

You passed your phone over to her, heads bent together. You giggled at whatever she whispered to you, your eyes darting up, finding her staring at you. Your smile dimmed and she felt her stomach drop. That was never a look that was meant to be pointed in her direction. Turning your attention back down to your phone, you whispered something else to Ashley before turning on your heels and walking away, not sparing a backwards glance at her.

She thumped the side of the copier, trying to hurry it up.

“Girl, you got some tension you need to work out,” Ava said, sweeping past her.

She growled, thumping the copier again.

She didn’t see you again until lunch where you’d managed to peel yourself from your new shadow. You were sitting in your seat, the one at her table, looking as of you belonged there. You looked up from your phone, offering her a small smile, like you were worried about your reception. She snorted, sitting in her own seat.

“Hey, is everything okay?” you asked, leaning towards her.

The scent of your perfume brushed against her and she could feel the warmth of your body. She hadn’t realised how much she’d missed it, craved the way it made her feel when you looked at her with that burning intensity. How you were so good at making her feel as if no one else had your attention but her.

But now that was all for someone else’s benefit.

“Fine,” she huffed.

Your smile dimmed again and you lent back. The weight of your gaze was heavy on her, making her skin feel too tight. She looked away from you, not able to handle seeing the hurt she’d caught a glimpse of swimming in your eyes.

“Have I done something?” you asked.

“What makes you think that?” she asked, pulling out her lunch, as casual as possible.

“You’re being… you know what, it doesn’t matter,” you said, “I’m going to go eat somewhere else.”

You stood and her entire body froze. Hesitating a moment, you waited as her eyes dragged up to you. With one hand splayed on the top of the table, you lent towards her until you were invading her personal space.

“I know when I’m not wanted,” you said.

Her stare was hard as she watched you walk from the room. She stabbed at her food but her appetite had left her. She flung the container back on the table, glaring at it as if it had personally offended her.

“You handled that one perfectly.”

She shot a glare over her shoulder at Jacob. His face bled of what little colour there had been and his gaze snapped down to the sad sandwich he was eating. She waited a moment, making sure he didn’t think he was able to comment on her personal life.

“What did you say to that girl?” Barbra asked, sliding into her seat.

“Nothing,” she said, “there’s nothing to say to her.”

“Someone must have said something to her because she’s looking mighty upset,” she said.

“Fuck,” she muttered to herself.

Slamming her hands on the table, she stood and stalked out of the room. She wasn’t going to sit there and listen to how upset she’d made you. Not if she wanted to be calm enough to teach children how to tell the time.

Not if she wanted to be able to look herself in the eye ever again.

She paused outside your classroom door, taking a moment to steel herself. If she was going to apologise she had to be in the right state of mind. And that state of mind usually included more alcohol than she was allowed at school. Her hand landed on the door handle, peeking through the small window inside.

You were perched on one of the desks, arms curled around your body, staring down at your feet. Her heart constricted when she saw you reach up and brush a tear from your cheek. She’d done that. That was her fault.

“Maybe I was stupid,” she heard you say, and the sight of Ashley spinning in your chair caught her eye, “I just don’t know.”

“She never lets me sit in spinny chairs,” she said instead of answering you.

“Of course she doesn’t,” you said, “am I crazy?”

“Nah, she was sending vibes,” she replied.

“You are so much easier to understand,” you said, brushing away another tear.

“Thanks.” Ashley grinned at you and you gave her a reluctant watery smile in return.

Melissa pursed her lips, turning and walking down the hall to her own classroom. Clearly she wasn’t needed. You had someone else to comfort you. You didn’t need her.

She kept her distance for the rest of the week.

Friday night should have been her time to drown in a bottle of wine and then watch a fight in the parking lot of the closest Arby’s. Instead, she found herself standing in Jacob’s apartment, holding a glass of the second cheapest wine Jacob could find, pretending to listen to Zach talk about sneakers. She should have kicked Janine with her puppy dog eyes but she’d been promised booze and there were all kinds of emotions bubbling in her she wanted to tamp down.

She ignored the sound of the buzz, assuming it would be Barb. Downing the rest of her glass of wine, she turned away from Zach and disappeared into the kitchen for a refill. This time she went for something more in line with her feelings, finding a beer in the fridge.

The sound of your voice filtered into the kitchen. She froze, inhaling sharply, wondering how she hadn’t thought of this possibility. Slipping into the living room, she found you sliding out of your coat. She choked on the sip of beer she’d been about to drink.

Short skirt, low neckline, tight in all the right places, your dress was hot. You were hot in it. She bet you’d be hot out of it too.

Your eyes met hers and she saw you freeze for a moment before Jacob stole your attention to show you his ethically sourced furniture. She took another slug from the bottle. You glanced over your shoulder at her, lower lip caught between your teeth. What she wouldn’t give to sink her own teeth into that lip.

Ashley probably did it all the time.

Her eyes slid down your body without her permission. The way that dress hugged your ass had her clenching her fingers around the neck of her bottle. Obviously you’d dressed for someone. If Ashley showed up, she’d be leaving to keep from seeing how she appreciated you in that dress.

“Wow, that’s a nice dress,” Janine said, sliding up to her. She grumbled something, taking another swig of beer, “I wonder where she got it from. She looks amazing. Just wow. Really… great.”

“Whaddaya want, Janine?” she asked.

“Don’t you think she looks nice?” she asked.

“Hot woman in a hot dress. What’s not to like?” She shrugged.

You did that little fake laugh of yours, tucking some hair behind your ear. Jacob laughed along with you, clearly missing the way your nose scrunched up, telling her all she needed to know. Zach passed you a glass of red wine. You took a slow sip, your eyes finding hers again. Your tongue darted out, dragging along your lower lip and she felt heat rush over her skin.

She finished off her beer and shoved past Janine, returning to the kitchen for another. She pressed it to the skin of her neck, the cold glass a relief. The image of you still hovered in her mind, her breathing growing unsteady. Someone as hot as you should not be with someone as annoying as Ashley.

“Are you going to keep ignoring me?”

Your hip was resting on the doorframe, arms crossed, pushing up your chest in a way she was finding distracting. You weren’t smiling at her, eyes serious, the wine glass dangling from your fingers.

“What?”

She noticed the way you zeroed in on the way she opened the bottle, tipping it back as she drank from it. There was a slight flush on your cheeks and your eyes were smouldering. It was an addictive look on you.

“I don’t know what I’ve done,” you said, taking a step into the room, hips swaying, “but you’ve been an absolute bitch all week. You’ve been fighting with me and you’ve been ignoring me the last few days. I just want to know where I should set my expectations tonight.”

“I’m sure once Ashely is here you won’t even notice what I choose to do,” she replied, taking another drag from the bottle.

“Ashley isn’t coming tonight,” you said, “at least, I hope she isn’t. Please tell me Jacob didn’t invite her. I know they have that whole cup song thing but he wouldn’t do that to us, would he?”

“How should I know? She’s your girlfriend,” she snapped.

“I’m offended. I can do better than Ashley.” Your nose wrinkled, “she talks like a teenager.”

“Yeah, so? You’ve been off whispering in corners with her all week,” she said.

You paused, eyebrows drawing together before a slow smile began to creep over your face. You placed your glass of wine down on the counter, sauntering towards her. Your fingers brushed against the back of her hand, looking at her as if you found something incredibly amusing. She bristled, stepping back from you.

“Would you prefer I was whispering in corners with you?” you asked, taking another step towards her.

“No,” she scoffed taking another step back.

Her back hit the fridge. Your lips curled up, your hand landing beside her, caging her in. Her eyes flicked down your body, barely brushing against hers, then back to your face. Your tongue ran along your wine stained lips as you considered her.

“Do you know what we were whispering about?” you asked.

“I don’t care,” she growled.

“I was asking her for a recommendation. See, she knows where to buy hot clothes at a bargain and you know what our pay checks are like. And I knew Jacob was hosting this little soiree tonight. I wanted to find something a bit sexy to wear,” you said, drawing impossibly closer to her.

Your perfume was wrapping around her and your fingers were brushing over the skin of her wrist. The way you were looking at her was making her head spin.

“You trying to seduce someone?” she spat out, hoping to get you away from her.

If not Ashley, she didn’t want to watch you seducing one of the other teachers. Who could it possibly be? No one would be insane enough to be interested in Janine and Gregory was boring.

“Yes,” you said before she could consider it more, “you.”

Her mouth fell open. Your gaze dipped down to her lips and heat filled her veins once again. Your fingers were gentle as they plucked the bottle from her, leaning over to put it on the bench. Your breath ghosted over the skin of her neck and she shivered, fingers itching to touch you.

“I thought if I was lucky, you’d show up tonight and I’d be here in a sexy little number and you’d see me as more than just a teacher you know from school,” you said, “only I didn’t account for your jealousy.”

“What jealousy?” she managed to say.

“Just admit it. You wanted to be the one I’m off whispering in corners with. You hated me being nice to Ashley,” you said.

“You were ignoring me to talk to her,” burst from her chest.

“Mel, you were ignoring me. And when you weren’t ignoring me you were being mean,” you said and there was a stab of shame in her gut, “I thought you were mad at me so I was giving you space.”

“And yet you still wore the hot dress,” she said.

“You think the dress is hot?” You were smiling at her now and she’d missed being on the receiving end it.

“Course it’s hot. You’re hot in it. No one’s gonna argue about that,” she said.

“And do you like the colour of it?” you asked, stepping back so she could see it properly.

“Yeah it’s red. Red is good,” she said, eyes sweeping over your body.

“You don’t think it’s too short?” you asked.

Her eyes dipped down to your legs, lingering longer than was appropriate.

“No,” she replied, eyes snapping up again. Her brain was full of the image of running her hands up those legs, pushing past the hemline of your dress, watching them fall open so she could disappear between them.

“Can I tell you a secret?” you asked, drawing closer to her again.

“Sure,” she said.

“When I was getting dressed for tonight, all I could think about was you taking it off me later,” you murmured, lips ghosting over the shell of her ear.

You drew back.

“Of course, if you’d rather I just go show Ashley then I’m sure I can find her location from her instagram story,” you said.

“The fuck you will.”

Her hand shot out, wrapping around your wrist. She tugged you forward, stumbling against her body already leaning on the fridge. Her other hand came up, tangling in the hair at the nape of your neck. Her lips captured yours in a searing kiss. Your tongue was in her mouth and your hands had found their way under her leather jacket, pinning her hips to the fridge. You moaned into her mouth, bodies pressing together and she realised she couldn’t get enough of you.

Her hand grasped your ass, so beautifully displayed by the stupid dress you’d bought to impress her. One of her legs pressed between yours, thigh tensing as you groaned again. Your hands slipped under her shirt, seeking out skin. She arched into your touch, teeth sinking into your lower lip finally. The little whine sound that came from you made the wait worth it.

“Are you two done fighting now? Only we’re out of-“

You turned, pulling away from her lips. She glanced over your shoulder, finding Janine in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth open, and empty chip bowl in her hand.

“Oh my gosh,” she said.

“Do you want to get out of here?” you asked, turning back to her.

“Yes.”

She grabbed your hand, marching you past Janine, through the living room and out the door, refusing to say anything to any of her colleagues. You threaded your fingers through hers.

“We’re going back to your place, right?” you asked.

“Would you rather we go to yours?” she asked.

“No, my neighbours shout,” you replied, with a small shake of your head.

The way you were looking at her was full of promises she was hoping to cash in on. She held the door open for the passenger seat of her car. You reached up, pinching her chin between thumb and forefinger. You kissed her, slow and lingering over the top of the door, leaving her breathless and desperate for you. The smile you gave her as you slid into the car was just like the one you used to give her when she shared her lunch with you. The one that made her feel besotted with you.

Her hand was on your thigh the entire drive home. She took speed limits as suggestions and red lights as challengea. The soft skin of your thigh was so tempting beneath her fingertips. You were watching her the entire drive, those eyes of yours practically devouring her.

“I can’t believe you thought I was interested in Ashley,” you said, “who could be when you’re there?”

“She’s closer to your age than me,” she said.

“First day, you walked past and said you didn’t care who I was and I knew I’d do anything to make you look twice at me,” you said.

“That’s bull,” she laughed.

“You were wearing those leather pants and that pink top of yours. You looked me over head to foot and it was the sexiest thing. Who cares about Ashley? You’re the only one I’ve seen since meeting you.”

“Hon.” Her fingers tightened on your thigh, “if you keep talking like that I’ll have to pull this car over and we do it in the backseat.”

“No one comes even close to comparing to you, Mel,” you said.

“Sweetheart,” she warned. She felt the way your thighs pressed together.

You chuckled, leaning across the console to press a lingering kiss to her cheek. The car screeched to a halt as she braked hard. She was reaching across to you without thought, grabbing your face to kiss you like she hungered for you. You moaned into her mouth, fingers burying themselves in her hair, making her need you more than she needed air.

The hand on your thigh slipped further up, pressing against your underwear covered core. You gasped, hips bucking against her fingers. She pressed more insistently, finding your clit, wanting to hear you moaning her name. She chuckled against your mouth, drawing back to watch your face as she circled a finger over your bundle of nerves. You were the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen when you were desperate for her.

“Mel,” you whined.

“I warned you, hon,” she said.

You tugged on the hair tangled in your fingers until she was determined to claim you in every way possible.

“Get out of the car,” she commanded.

“What?” you whimpered as she took her hands from your body.

“Out.”

She undid her seatbelt, climbing from the car. She listened as you fumbled with the car door, rushing to meet her. Catching you around the waist, she pressed you to the car door, kissing you until she left you breathless.

“Come on.”

She laced her fingers through yours, tugging you forward. Your eyes widened as you looked up at her house. She shoved her door open, practically throwing you through it. The door slammed closed and the way you were looking at her made her blood thrum in her veins. She stalked towards you, reaching out.

Her hands landed on your ass, palming it as she pulled you closer. You wound your arms around her neck, kissing her slowly as if she wasn’t burning up with need. She pulled you closer, kissing you deeper until she felt you melt against her. The way you whined into her mouth went right between her legs.

Her lips trailed down, nipping at your earlobe before she found your pulse point. Your head fell back as she began to suck, one of her legs slotting between yours again. The breathy moan that fell from your lips made her press more insistently against you, wanting to hear it again. The flush of pride from the way your hips pressed down against her thigh made her nip at your skin.

“Fuck, Mel,” you groaned, “want you so bad.”

“I know you do, baby.”

She kissed you again, hauling you up into her arms. Your legs wrapped around her waist, kissing her deeper, longer, as if you’d never get enough of her. She hummed, slowly ascending the stairs. You were whimpering, tongue mapping your mouth.

Lowering you onto her mattress, she sunk her teeth into your lower lip again, certain she’d never grow tired of the way you arched towards her when she did. Your fingers buried themselves in her hair, tugging in a way that set the fire flaming high within her.

“Please, Mel,” you moaned as her hands skimmed up your body.

She cupped your breasts, leaning back to watch the way your eyes glazed over when her thumbs found your hardening nipples through the soft fabric. Your hands found her hips, fingers digging in, pulling until she landed on the bed, knees landing either side of your lap.

“I hope you know,” she murmured, pinching at one nipple, “I’m planning on fucking you in this dress.”

“I was hoping you would,” you said.

“And then I’m gonna undress you and fuck you on every surface in my house,” she said, watching the way your mouth fell open.

Your hands slid up her spine, pressing her forward as you surged up to kiss her. She nipped at your bottom lip, beginning to slowly roll your nipple, listening to your small sigh. You were arching into her touch and she smiled against your lips.

“Need you,” you groaned as she sucked your earlobe into her mouth.

Her teeth scraped over it as she moved one hand down, finding the hemline of your skirt again. She skimmed her fingertips up your inner thigh. They parted under her touch. She lifted herself off your lap, just enough to push your legs further apart, hand cupping over your heat. Pushing your underwear aside, she stroked her finger through your folds, enjoying what she found there.

“Is this all for me, baby?” she asked.

“Yes,” you hissed, “all yours. Please. Mel, please.”

The sound of you begging was music to her ears. She slowly began to circle your clit, watching as your face contorted in pleasure, hands squeezing her hips.

“Or maybe instead of fucking you right now, I should just keep touching you like this. Keeping you right on the edge,” she said, finger ghosting against you instead of giving you what you wanted, “showing up in this dress, trying to get me worked up, making me jealous. Maybe you don’t deserve to cum.”

“No,” you whined, “just wanted to be pretty for you.”

“Just for me?” she asked.

“Only for you,” you gasped, hips shifting to try and get her to touch you more.

“And who’s are you?” she asked.

“Yours,” you groaned as she touched you more insistently, “only yours.”

“Good girl.”

The way your mouth fell open again, a breathy moan and hips jumped towards her touch had her very interested. Something to file away to explore later. You pulled her into another kiss as her finger found your entrance. Your hips bucked up. She sucked your bottom lip into her mouth, finger pressing into you.

Your head fell back, your strangled groan like music to her ears. The column of your neck on full display was more than she could resist, lips pressing to it, running along it, tasting your skin. She slowly began to pump her finger, quick to add a second when you begged her for more. Her thumb found your clit again.

“Oh god,” you moaned.

She curled her fingers, her name falling from your lips like a prayer. She would worship your body to hear you just like that over and over again.

“Being so good for me, baby,” she said.

You whined, internal muscles fluttering around her fingers.

“Look at you,” she continued, “so beautiful, so gorgeous, all mine.”

Her teeth sunk in where your shoulder met your neck. Your strangled gasp was loud in her ears. She wanted to leave her marks littering every inch of your body. She wanted to see where she’d been later. She wanted you to know who owned your body when you looked in the mirror.

“Come on, baby,” she murmured, “tell me what you want.”

“You,” you gasped out, “just you.”

The palm of her hand ground against your bundle of nerves, fingers slamming into you. You were a moaning mess under her touch, begging her, words turning incomprehensible. She drew back, watching you, wanting to have this moment burned into her brain forever. There was nothing so beautiful as you desperate for her. No one was ever going to touch you like this again.

“Cum for me,” she whispered.

You cried out her name, muscles clamping down on her fingers. She worked you through it, drinking in every single moment. There was no part of you she didn’t want, no part of you that wasn’t beautiful. The blissed out smile on your face only made her want you more.

You reached for her, drawing her into another kiss, slow and steady. Her fingers were still buried in you and her thumb brushed against your clit. You made a small noise, muffled by her mouth and she did it again, feeling the flutter of internal muscles again.

“Mel,” you mumbled against her lips.

“Yes, hon?” she asked, drawing back.

You were looking at her like she’d hung the stars for you and like you wanted to devour her. She pressed another lingering kiss to your lips.

“What is it, sweetheart?” she coaxed, thumb brushing your clit again.

You inhaled sharply, eyes falling closed as your hips bucked up.

“Tell me,” she murmured, lips finding the soft spot behind your jaw.

“Wanna taste you,” you mumbled.

She pulled her hand from your underwear, sucking her fingers into her mouth. Her tongue swirled over her skin, tasting you. She groaned, wanting to drink right from the source.

“Mel,” you whined.

“In a moment, hon,” she said.

Tugging your ruined underwear from your body, she knelt between your thighs. Tongue swiping through your folds, she groaned. Your fingers tangled in her hair, pressing you closer as she feasted on you.

You were a babbling mess above her, thighs squeezing either side of her head. She moaned against your hot cunt, not able to stop herself. Your hips jumped up towards her, fingers tightening. Swirling over your bundle of nerves and dipping into your entrance, you writhed above her, her name nothing but a chant as you pressed her closer.

Your taste was driving her crazy. She could spend hours between your thighs, making you cum over and over again. She’d never wanted someone so much, never wanted anyone so badly.

You stiffened above her, fingers pulling on her hair. She lapped at you, cleaning you up, before she sat back on her heels, smirking up at you. With the back of her hand, she wiped your arousal from her chin, the flush of pride racing through her veins.

You tugged on her hair again, trying to kiss her. Her knees creaked but she let you drag her back onto the bed. Your kiss was needy, sloppy, warm, and she wanted every second of it.

“Still wanna taste you,” you mumbled against her lips.

“In a bit, sweetheart,” she said, “I think you need to catch your breath first.”

She tugged you further up the bed, settling down against the pillows. You curled against her side, and even with a need thrumming between her legs, just having you pressed to her side was a thrill. Your head rested on her shoulder, arm curling around her waist as you pressed closer.

“You still haven’t undressed me,” you murmured, lips brushing against her neck.

“We’ll work our way up to that,” she replied.

“Mel?”

You looked up at her, hair in disarray and eyes bright. You blinked and she realised she’d been staring at you.

“Yes, hon?” She brushed some of the hair away from your face.

“Were you really that jealous?” you asked.

“Yeah, hon,” she said, “I really was.”

You gave a self satisfied smile, snuggling against her again. Her hand slowly swept along your spine, enjoying the way you wiggled closer to her. Her lips pressed to the top of your head and you sighed.

“I’m not going home this weekend, am I?” you asked.

“No chance,” she replied.

“Good.”

#melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti imagine

[flowersandbigteeth]

How would you feel about a doing something nsfw of a Kelpie taking a human mate? In myths they usually turn into beautiful women, but what if one was a beautiful man or even an androgynous/enbie person? Instead of being a horse with a human visage, they’re a hot fae with a horse visage (not mythologically accurate, but makes so it’s less horse-fucky and more “kidnapped by a hot fae who turns into a horse to lure people away”). Here are some Pinterest pins of what I’m trying to describe :)

Horse visage- https://pin.it/5QX3bnc , https://pin.it/4bpFPDH , https://pin.it/4X2syHn

True (Fae) form - https://pin.it/421p4lO , https://pin.it/X4ZMkhH , https://pin.it/6djHdvf

I was so excited to do this one and then it took me three tries to get to where I was happy 😵 so sorry it took a while ^_^

Kelpie (Vylkas) x female reader

Word Count: 2.5k

🌶️ NSFW MASTERPOST 🌶️

W: some degrading name calling, vaginal and oral sex, many implied murders, light dubcon

You sighed and smoothed your hand over your friend Vylkas’ shoulder. He was a little damp and cigarette smoke curled around you from the one in his hand. “I’m sorry you can’t drag people into the lake anymore and consume their corpses, but you’ll find other things to do with your time. You got off easy. I mean the judge accepting “cultural differences” as an excuse for murder is remarkable!” 

He glanced up at you and glared, looking offended. The two of you were sitting on a bench, he’d built specifically to place his victims where he wanted them to be when his horse form emerged from the water to dazzle them. 

“Easy?!” he snarled, “(Y/N) dragging people into lakes and drowning them was my life’s work! Do you know how many bones I’ve collected at the bottom of this lake? What am I going to do with it now? Swim?! I was ten for ten! No one can resist me! Cut me down in my prime is what that judge did. I'm too beautiful to be treated like this!” 

You pouted. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you’re right,” you acquiesced, unsure if you really meant that, “but what I’m saying is, you have to reinvent yourself. Come up with a new passion!” 

He huffed, glaring at the brand new mega mansion neighborhood that had been built around his lake. As a Kelpie, he’d never bothered to buy the land around the lake he was living in and now it was a corporate housing project. Of course, that had been great for him, for a while. He’d been gorging himself on joggers, but eventually the law caught up to him. 

He drew in a long drag of his cigarette and looked at you. Vylkas hardly looked like himself. His normally sparkly, gray skin was sallow, his pointy ears were drooping. What was normally a thick head of shiny black hair looked dull and a bit dry and he had bags under his pretty green eyes. You’d always thought he made a beautiful man as well as a lovely gray stallion, the only thing marring his perfect face, a scar slicing across the right side of his lips. 

“Whatever,” he griped. 

As if to taunt him a fit, handsome jogger came bouncing up in nothing but a pair of tight blue shorts. 

“New to the neighborhood?” he asked you, glancing at Vylkas with distaste. 

“Eh…no,” you said, feeling the familiar tension build that always tightened when men approached you in public, unsolicited. 

Vylkas looked between the two of you and his frown deepened. 

“Pretty lake,” the guy went on, doing some stretches in front of you, “thinkin’ of buying?” 

“Look, we’re having kind of a heavy convo here…” you said, trying to give him a hint to get lost.

“Oh really?” he asked, completely oblivious and looking at the clearly despondent Vylkas, “going through tough times, are ya? You gotta change your outlook, man. Depression is all in your mind! Drop the cigarettes and hit the gym. It’ll change your whole worldview. I used to be like you, skinny, shriveled, pale... spent my time playing video games in the dark. I had to completely change my life! I’ll tell ya who you should be listening to, And-”

You stood up. Vylkas was not skinny, shriveled, or particularly pale and this guy was going to give your vain friend a complex talking like that.

“Hey, can you find somewhere else to be?” you asked directly, annoyed. 

He grimaced at you and regained his jogging posture. 

“Step one is drop the bitch,” he snapped and took off. 

You sighed and rolled your eyes, but when you looked back at Vylkas he was looking at you. 

“What?” you asked, unable to read his expression. 

He gave you a small smile and took another drag of his cigarette looking you up and down.

“Why are you friends with me (Y/N)?” he asked suddenly. 

You grinned at him and sat back down. 

“So you don’t murder me,” you answered and he laughed, his face brightening up and sparkling a bit. 

–

It was a dark and stormy night. You were curled up on your couch reading a book, trying to ignore the lightning and thunder cracking outside. Rain came down in sheets, pounding on your metal roof. Pulling a blanket around you, you got up to go make yourself some tea, filling the metal kettle at the sink. 

You shrieked when you glanced up and a dark horse was standing in the middle of your back yard staring at you. You took a deep breath, pressing your chest to slow your heart before putting the kettle down and hurrying outside. 

“What are you doing out here, Vylkas?” you asked the horse when you approached him.

You’d seen him in his horse form many times. You’d become friends because you trimmed his hooves when he needed it done. The gray stallion had the same scar over the right side of his lip.

His large dark eyes took you in and he took a step to follow you to your back porch. By the time you made it to your back door he was in his more human form. He looked a lot better, especially since he was damp. He was the sort of guy that looked best wet, but you weren’t referring to his physical attractiveness. His skin looked healthier, the natural iridescence back and his green eyes were bright as they followed you across the kitchen to your laundry room. 

Pulling out some towels you handed him one. He was so much taller than you. Looming over you a droplet of water from his hair splashed your hand.  

“Everything okay?” you asked, looking up at him. 

He was smiling down at you, his eyes full of warmth. 

“Of course,” he said, lifting his hand and pushing a lock of wet hair behind your ear, “I just wanted to see you.” 

“You don’t need a trim for another two weeks…” you said, confused as to why he would want to see you. 

“I’m not here for that,” he said, taking a step closer to you, his eyes focused and intense. 

You blinked at him and blushed even though you weren’t entirely sure why. Your heartbeat picked up in your chest. 

“Then why-?” 

“I found another passion,” he said before he captured your lips with his. 

You were surprised, but not upset when his mouth moved over yours. Yes, Vylkas was attractive, but he was more than that. He was otherworldly beautiful, like a fairy, but he was a Kelpie. The idea that he would ever be interested in you was so far fetched, you’d never even considered it. You pulled away from him. 

“Teasing your friends?” you asked, your lips an inch from his mouth. 

He smiled.

“This is not a tease,” he said, grinning, “and you’re not my friend anymore.” 

You frowned and cocked your head. 

“No? Are you breaking up with me?” 

He kissed you again, then scooped you in his two large hands, trailing kisses down your neck, his words punctuated by each kiss.

“No…I’m…claiming…you...my mate.” 

You didn’t want to believe him, but part of you did. Most of that part was being convinced by the sparkling kisses he was peppering on your collar bone as he pushed your shirt out of his way. 

He’d always thought you were pretty, but he’d taken for granted just how attractive you were. Other men saw it too. When you were out together, he got so much attention as a gorgeous kelpie, he hadn’t noticed the looks you got. 

As he’d put the energy he usually put into stalking and luring his victims into creeping around after you through your day to day activities he’d grown more and more enraged at the number of men who’s eyes followed you. When you giggled at a lame joke or someone absently brushed your arm he was thrown into a murderous rage. More than one man who’d only committed the sin of touching you was hidden at the bottom of his lake. Since his arrest, he'd gotten a lot better at hiding his murderous activities.

Your hands went up to his, which were holding your shoulders in place. 

“Vylkas…wait…we should talk about this…” you gasped even as you panted. 

“No,” he growled, pushing you against the wall behind you and jerking your sweatshirt over your head, “I’ve been waiting. You’re mine now and I’m going to have you.”  

He’d made up his mind. It helped that, that very morning he’d watched you go riding with one of your other clients. You hadn’t thought much of it. One of the perks of owning a stable was that you got to go ride with your clients all the time.

It was something you did frequently with almost anyone who asked if you had the time. You usually just gave them tips on their riding skills and talked about the horses. But Vylkas saw it as a threat and while he seethed and consumed the flesh of the hapless rider, he decided what he needed to do.  He knew you would accept him, of course, he was gorgeous after all.

“Oh.” you said, your eyes going wide, but Vylkas wasn’t looking at your face to see it. He was tearing your bra straps with his teeth and snarling at you, while his clawed hands tore at your sweatpants. It was entirely unnecessary to rip them, but he did and quickly you were standing naked in your kitchen in front of him. He stopped long enough to take you in, appreciating your form. 

He dragged his sharp claws over curves ever so lightly, tracing your figure from your breasts down to your hips. 

“You’re more perfect then I imagined,” he purred at you, his eyes eating you up.

“Y-you imagined me?” you asked and he nodded, his eyes predatory. 

Lowering his head down to your neck he whispered just close enough that you could feel the brush of his lips on your skin. 

“Want me to show you what I thought about?” he asked, his voice rough as he held himself back from mauling you. 

You whimpered your ascent and he swept you up in his arms, splaying you across the closest thing to you, your kitchen island. He murmured to you, smirking as he spread your legs with his big hands. 

“I’ve dreamed of a hundred different ways to make you my little slut,” he groaned, looking at you pink pussy and placing dragging kisses on the insides of your thighs. Your hands found his damp hair and you thread your fingers through it unintentionally tugging him to where you wanted him to be, but he wasn’t in any rush.

He pulled away, pulling you up to him to meet his lips again, pushing his tongue into your mouth to play with his. Large, warm hands cupped your breasts and he kneaded them, enjoying the feeling. 

You were utterly overwhelmed. This was completely unexpected, but not disturbing. Putty in his hands you let him suck your nipple into his mouth to circle it with his tongue until it was a stiff point. 

His hands were all over you, gliding over your hips and your thighs, squeezing the flesh. This was the closest thing to being eaten alive you’d ever experienced as he worked his hot mouth over your breasts and down your stomach, leaving little love bites in his wake. 

Marking you up gave him endless pleasure, knowing you would see the spots later and be reminded of who you belong to. 

You cried out loud and your back arched up off of the cool counter when his burning tongue touched your clit. He chuckled, lapping at your sensitive spot. You could have sworn he was spelling his name on it with his tongue, but it hardly mattered. Your hands were buried in his hair and you were crying his name out loud, the sound echoing in your kitchen. 

“Please! Please!” you screamed, not sure what you were begging for as you were thrust over the crest of a blissful orgasm. Your mind was completely static, but you felt so empty. Pussy spasming on nothing you brainlessly ground your hips into his face, asking for more. 

“My eager slut,” he said, pleased. 

He loomed over you, pinching your chin between his thumb and four fingers. 

“This pussy is mine,” he informed you as he sheathed himself inside of you, looking you in the eyes to make sure you understood. It didn’t matter, your eyes pinched shut on their own at the invasion. He was stretching you to your limit, making you wail, drool slipping down your cheek. 

“Look at me while I fuck you,” he growled and your eyes popped open at the command. 

You tried as hard as you could to keep your eyes on him while he pounded into you with no mercy. His face was focused and full of passion, like he was trying to make a point. Your head jerked on your neck with each thrust and your eyes were rolling back. 

Vylkas was savoring watching you struggle. He pressed your legs behind your head, folding you in half so you were utterly helpless. Your inability to make eye contact didn’t really piss him off, he just wanted you to try so he could see how utterly brainless he was fucking you.

Scrabbling the counter unsuccessfully for purchase, you tried your best to stay present, but when Vylkas started using his body weight to pound you into the counter all your thoughts were scattered. He was going so deep, your walls stretching to accommodate his girth. 

“Good girl,” he slurred, stretching your legs a little further apart so he could get a good look at his cock splitting your cunt, “takin’ me so good. I’m gonna fuck y’stupid.” 

He licked his thumb and started stroking your clit in languid circles while he slammed into you, grunting with each thrust like a man possessed. You drifted up and up, getting wound tighter and tighter. His scent, like fresh rain, was all over you, enveloping you in a haze of him. You could hear his ragged pants and animal noises as his thrusts got more wild and less precise. 

“Fu-Vylkas! I’m cumming!” you screamed. You didn’t need to tell him. Your pussy clamping down on his cock as you flew over the edge was like heaven. He grabbed your hips, totally feral, and slammed into you a few more times, wishing he could stay pumping into your tight, wet channel endlessly. Finally, he exploded and you felt his hot cum drenching you. You were limp as he looked down on you, loved up and spent. 

He didn’t want to pull out, but he couldn’t stay hovering over you on the counter, so he slowly slid out of you, followed by a wave of your mixed fluids. Looking at you slack body, covered in his marks, with him leaking out of you, his cock got hard. 

“We’re gonna do that again,” he informed you, betting himself could fuck you unconscious. 

Arranging you in his arms so he had a hand free, he grabbed some water bottles out of your fridge and an apple, taking a big bite to restore his stamina, before he carried you to your bedroom to start all over again.

#monster fucker #monster x girl #monster smut #male yandere #yandere smut #yandere male #yandere x reader #x reader #kelpie #degradation kink

[ssweeterthanfiction]

Wait for your love.

Content Warnings (for throughout the story not much this chapter tho): Mentions of alcohol and drugs, mental health issues, parental issues, age-gap, billy dunne being toxic but we love him🫶🏼

↳ currently playing ;

New Girl - 1976

0:56 ——•———————— 3:24

↺       <<          ll          >>     ⋮≡

In the spring of ‘76, a new face emerged on the music scene. With a unique, angelic voice, it didn’t take long for her song “supernatural” to blow up. And now, freshly off a plane from New York to L.A, she was ready to take a chance at stardom.

Karen: “Oh yea, we had all heard of her. She has a great voice, a great look, personality, she’s just a really good person.”

Eddie: “Hm? Oh, her…yea she was great. Talented singer, yea…”

Graham: “Warren said he had known her as a kid, no one believed him of course.”

Warren: “I’ve known her since forever. Our moms used to be really good friends. Met in college I think. But yea, really talented girl.”

Daisy: “Fucking amazing. Super talented, and just such a beautiful person to be around.”

Billy: “She’s great, talented, pretty. There really isn’t enough words to describe her. But she is…something.”

Graham: “We were working on the new album, and with Daisy as the new edition, things were going…semi-smoothly. Til the label said we should add a feature. Billy of course didn’t think we needed another edition, but everyone else as always went against what he thought. And Warren said he knew someone that would be perfect. After one phone call, he said we had our feature, and that she would be arriving in a few days…That next afternoon she walked into the studio…and I’m not going to lie…I thought Priscilla fucking Presley had walked into our studio.”

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

It was a warm spring day. The skies were clear and the sun shined brightly. You stood outside of the studio, your future in the industry relied on this feature. At least that’s what you told yourself.

Taking a deep breath, smoothing out your dress, you walked in. Looking around for a second you took in the new environment. Then you saw the band. Daisy Jones and The Six. Shaking off your nerves you walked over to them. Right as you were about to say something. The guitarist looked at you. “You lost sweetheart?” he said as he put his guitar down.

“I don’t think I am. This is the Six’s studio right?” you say looking around again. “I’m (y/n), Warren called me for-“

“(y/n)!” Warren called out, walking over to you and giving you a hug. “I didn’t think you’d be here so soon.” laughing as he ruffles your hair. “Well when you called it sounded urgent so I hopped on the first flight out.” you say, nudging his arm away.

Warren rolls his eyes and laughs. “Well let me introduce you to everybody, this is Graham, that’s Karen, Eddie, Daisy’s over there, and Billy…is somewhere around here.” You smile at everyone. “It’s so nice to meet you all, I can’t wait to work with you guys.”

It all felt right to you. This feature is what was going to bring you to fame.

“You’re the girl that wrote ‘supernatural’, right?” you hear Karen say. “Yes, yes I did” you say proudly. “It’s a great song, you’ve got a great voice” she says with a smile.

You felt happy. This. This is what you’ve wanted your whole life. To be known for your music. And right as you were about to thank her, a man in an all denim outfit walked into the room. It was clear he was hungover or something.

“Look who finally decided to show up.” you hear Eddie mumble under his breath. “Fuck you say Roundtree?” the man says as he glares at Eddie. Eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes, clearly not wanting to argue. “That’s what I thought.” the man says. Finally, he acknowledges your presence. He looks at you up and down, going from your white gogo boots to your eyes. You felt a weird feeling in your stomach. You couldn’t tell if it was butterflies or if it was something else, you felt drawn to him. But some little voice in your head was screaming that this was bound to go wrong.

“(y/n), this is Billy Dunne, Graham’s brother. Billy, this is (y/n)(l/n), our new feature.” Warren says as he lights a cigarette.

Billy looks you up and down again. “This is our new feature?” he says, skepticism filling his voice. “We’re writing a rock album, not pop.” He walks closer to you, the smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and cologne radiating off of him. Warren takes a drag of his cigarette. “Give her a chance, she has a great voice.”

Billy looked irritated, he already had to add Daisy as an official member, and now here you were. He rolls his eyes. “Fine whatever” he mutters under his breath.

Just like that, you were officially going to be a feature for their album. And now you were a part of the life of Billy fucking Dunne.

Finally the first chapter is up!! I hope u guys liked it, (ik it’s not the best but i’m going to get better trust🙏) took me a while to get it up because I just kept trying to figure out how to like set the stage but I figured this would be the best way. Anyways apologies for it being so short and for taking so long to upload it but next chapter should be a tad bit longer since you guys will get to see the interviews from reader :) but yea hope u guys enjoyed 🫶🏼

btw does anyone have any idea at what kinda nickname to give reader? i cannot think of anything😭 if u guys have any ideas send me them through my asks! (i think it’s open)

#billy dunne #billy dunne x reader #djats #djats fic #djats x reader #billy dunne fic

[eveningepiphany]

bestie i definitely want a part two of the mistletoe!

Mistletoe | H.S, part 2

my masterlist <3

if you have any requests, send them in here

summary: Y/Ns flight gets canceled last minute after their morning BBC show, and without anywhere to go she calls harry— and it’s their first time alone together after the kiss they’d shared under the mistletoe.

warnings: smut, soft/bestfriend harry, oral f receiving, PIV unprotected, riding, praise kink, fluff, and dirty talk.

a/n: thank you all so much for your support on part one! I hope you enjoy this just as much, and thank you for your patience in waiting for this— hope your holiday season was filled with fun. I <3 soft harry.

———

The morning show had gone great, despite the mountains of tension between you and Harry. Maybe no one else picked up on it, and you were just hyper aware of his every glance and touch.

Hell, maybe you were even reading into it. Maybe last night was just a one off thing. A spur of the moment—never to be talked about— kind of thing. It could’ve meant nothing.

You’d woken up together, his alarm blaring from his phone further down the his mattress. You’d groaned together, collectively complaining about how fucking early it was. But not once mentioned last night, or the fact you woke up together.

But you didn’t have another chance to talk about it— when he and Anne dropped you all off at the airport he hugged you last out of the boys— it was a tight hug, paired with a whispered, ‘I’ll call you when you’re home.’

So you are unsure where everything stands. And you’d been left to mull it over in the uncomfortable airport chairs that you’d already been in for far too long.

You’d been in this damn airport far too long.

You suppose now though, the whole thing with you and Harry is the currently the least of your problems.

The rest of the boys are probably home by now.

“Assholes.” You mutter, cursing them for that exact reason.

Your gate had begun to quieten down since the announcement of the delay.

The boys flights were hardly an hour after you got to the airport, yours on the other hand was about 5.

Within those 5 hours, a storm had came crashing over this part of the UK.

Now you were without accomodation for the next 16 hours, which was apparently the earliest they could reschedule.

It was already 9:30pm– so you didn’t know what to do with yourself, it’s a long time to wait around in the airport.

You knew it was gonna be hard to get a hotel room, given how many flights had been delayed this last minute.

So, you sat for a minute and contemplate it. Without many other options you opened your phone and rung the only person who you could think of. The only person you had been thinking of.

You pressed your lips together as it rung, and on the fourth ring his voice came through.

“Y/N, love?” He sounded a little raspy, tired.

“Harry, im so sorry— you weren’t asleep were you?” You say, quickly feeling apologetic.

“No, no— jus’ laying down on the couch watching friends, why? It’s like 9:30 shouldn’t you be on your flight?”

“Yea uh… I am supposed to be.” Your voice faltered a little at the end, you just wanted to go home. You were already emotionally exhausted, and this on top was proving to be a bit much.

You glance outside the airport windows trying to distract yourself— not wanting to start having a mental breakdown in the middle of the airport and draw unwanted attention your way. It had got dark hours ago but it was clearly bucketing down rain.

“What happened?” He asked, immediately sounding concerned at your wavering voice.

“Is it not raining at your place? It torrential here, my flight got delayed.” You laugh a little, without humour.

“No it’s not— how far back was it pushed?”

“16 hours, not till 1pm tomorrow.” You sigh.

“Holy shit…” He audibly gasps through the speaker.

“I hate to be asking, but is it ok if I catch a taxi or an Uber back yours? I don’t think I’m gonna find anywhere to st—“

“Y/N, you are not catching a taxi or an Uber, I’m coming to get you.” He states, and you hear him shuffling in the background. Keys getting pulled from a drawer.

“You don’t have to come get me, I’m fine to get there—“

He cuts you off again, “Nope, I’m getting in the car now, I’ll be there in about an hour.”

“Harry, I swear I’ll be ok!” You feel terrible, knowing he is probably just as tired as you are.

“See y’soon, stay warm. Buy somethin’ to eat and drink while you wait, love. Call you when I get there.” You hear the engine start, you don’t even have time to protest anymore because he hangs up on you.

You groan aloud, frustration mixed with gratitude coursing through you.

Standing from the chair you’d been sitting in, you stretch. Sunglasses and beanie pulled over your face to try and prevent people from recognising you.

Even though you felt guilty he was driving all this way to get you, you were also relieved. trying to get an Uber somewhere, especially with your status is anxiety inducing to say the least.

You just hoped he drove safe in this weather.

You decide to go and buy food, sourcing a place that served your favourites.

The hour dragged on after you’d ate, and you felt drowsy. You were sitting at one of the tables closer to the exit, charging your phone when it rung.

When you answered, Harry of course was on the other side of the line.

“Hey sweet, sorry for the wait. I’m out the front.” You smile with relief, glad he was here safe.

“Thank you so much, H. I’m coming out now—“

“I parked in the 5 minute ones, you’ll see my car.”

You quickly chuck your charger into your bag, grabbing your suitcase and head straight for the sliding doors.

A blast of freezing wind hits you as you walk out, and you feel it to your bones.

True to his word, you spot Harry’s car a few metres away, and you were grateful he got such a close park.

He gets out the moment he sees you, popping the trunk.

“Are you ok?” He asks the second you’re close enough to hear him over the wind and rain, grabbing your face between his warm hands.

“Mmhm— just emotionally burnt out. Thank you for coming to get me.” You smile, his concern endearing.

He nods, relief thrumming through him. He picks up your suitcase, placing it into his trunk.

You both hurry into his car, trying to get out of the cold.

It’s perfectly warm in there, and you strap into the passenger side.

“You didn’t have to come all this way. I appreciate it though.” You whisper.

“Yes I did. I know you’re safe, and that we’ll get home together in one piece. That is worth endlessly more than an hour drive.”

You feel his words seep into the centre of your chest, warm and soft. You reach your hand over to grab his, squeezing it.

You don’t move it and he starts to drive, and you both talk about random stuff as you usually do together. It half lulls you to sleep, your head leaning against the window.

This hour went much faster, the highway was quiet and his home town even quieter.

You pull into his childhood home, and he turns the engine off.

You force your head up, shaking your limbs out. “I’m awake.”

He laughs at you trying to convince yourself. You slide out the car door, legs feeling a little numb as they try to hold you up.

He grabs your suitcase out for you, wheeling it to the access door and unlocking it.

The lamps are dimly lit, and the TV not properly turned off— it was clear he had left in a moments notice.

“Thank you.” You say, for what had to be the 12th time.

“Stop thanking me, Y/N.” He chuckles.

It was nearly midnight now, and he walked over to flick everything off.

“Is Anne asleep?”

“Yea, mum went to bed pretty early— was too early a start for her this morning. Or yesterday, seeing it’s nearly midnight.”

“I’m feeling her, I could’ve fell asleep at the damn airport.”

You trudge towards the stairs, carrying up your suitcase.

He quickly follows you up once everything downstairs is off.

You stop at the top, placing your bag down with a quiet thump and a pant— it was physical workout, considering how much your bag weighed. It baffles you how Harry carries it like it weighs nothing.

Your eyes flit over to the window without even thinking, straight to where you’d shared that kiss. The one you’d been replaying in your head since it happened.

Your first, and very perfect kiss together.

He’s standing behind you quietly, clocking where your eyes are looking. And he’s reliving the exact same memory as you.

He draws in a breath, trying to stabilise his emotions— his fingertips burning with the pure need to touch you.

You swallow at the thought of stumbling into his room last night, realising you just assumed you were staying in there tonight as well.

“Forget where you’re going, sweet?” He runs his hand down your back.

The touch leaves goosebumps in its wake.

“No… just- distracted.” You mumble, allowing him to slip past you and lead you into his room.

It smells just like him as you walk in, and it will never fail to overwhelm you. How perfect his scent is.

“Mmm, I bet.” He says ambiguously.

“What is that supposed to mean.” It slips out of your mouth shyer than you intended.

He turns, locking eyes with you, “I think you know exactly what I mean by that.”

“I don’t.” You say, defiantly.

He moves carefully closer, “you don’t?”

It’s a challenge when it comes from his mouth, you can only shake your head.

He kisses the pulse point on your neck, just how he had under the mistletoe— except this time he takes the skin between his lips, giving it a harsh suck.

“Remind you at all?” He pulls away an inch, and the blood has rushed into your cheeks— so much so they felt like they were on fire.

You don’t say anything. You don’t know how. Your lips move, but nothing comes out.

“How about this…” he trails up to your parted lips, ghosting over them.

You were awake now. Your whole body pulsing with the thoughts of where his hands— and lips— could touch.

“Harry…” you whined, and the noise was enough to have him seeing stars.

He slid his hands down to the small of your back, tugging you as close as possible.

“I swear, you are unreal, Y/N.” He sighs into your cheek.

You push your lips back into his, and he parts them for you straight away.

You slip your tongue into his mouth, savouring the feeling of it. Allowing yourself to map it out with gradual strokes.

He’s panting already, and he pushes you back, both of you stumbling into the middle of his bed.

He ends up taking the lead again, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth— knowing the kind of reaction it spiked in you last time.

You moan into his mouth, and glide your hand into his soft hair, pulling at the roots.

His have found their way up your shirt, cupping your breasts through the bra you’re wearing.

“If you want to stop—“ he says, breathlessly, “now is the time, because I don’t know if I can do this again.”

The room around you falls quiet and you cautiously look to meet his gaze.

“What do you mean?” You ask— little to no clue what he’s implying, a little panic rising in your chest.

He stares at you, serious, hands roaming down to your lower back.

“Kiss you like this, have you moaning like this— and not have you come because of me atleast twice.”

“Leaving you to fall asleep next to me— wet enough I could feel it through your sleep shorts, and not have anything done about it— is something I am not having happen again.” His words made you shiver, and his admission last night to how bad he wanted to make you finish on his face was ringing in your ears.

“What about Anne?”

“To hell with it.” He huffs, peeling his tshirt over his head, “She’ll be dead to the world at this hour— just try to keep quiet.”

“If this is what you want to do, anyway?” He clarifies, “And if y’wanna stop at anytime y’know y’can.”

“God, Harry you don’t understand how bad I want to feel you.” You affirm, pulling your own sweatshirt off, “I promise I’ll be quiet.”

“Thank you, darling. As much as I’d love to hear your pretty moans…” his sentence trails off, kissing the top of your breasts as he lays you down.

“Want your mouth on me.” You plead, the thought of it being enough to have you clenching around nothing.

“I’m sure you do, ‘specially after I put it in your head last night. Have you been thinking about it all day, hmm?” He teases, shifting down your body.

“Yea— yea I have.” You confess with a whine.

He raises his brows, trailing wet kisses down your stomach.

“What about before? You ever got off to the thought of my tongue in your pussy?” He smirks, knowing he’s venturing into uncharted territory— admissions of want, prior to your first kiss.

“Your ego would love to hear a yes wouldn’t it.” You tease a little, even though it would be a lie to say you haven’t conjured up small fantasies of him late at night. Ones where he’s got more than just his head between your legs.

“Oh, it would. But I think I already know the answer, going off how hot and bothered I’m making you.”

Which is true, you’re squirming beneath him, unconsciously arching up your lower half trying to get any kind of friction.

“Can I take these off?” He asks with warm hands tucked into your waistband, waiting for your curt nod before he shucks your pants down, your panties half going with it.

The energy shifts, his hands coming to a halt.

Like the realisation of what he’s doing and who he’s touching like this has come crashing down, just from seeing your lower half laid bare for him.

Harry is your best friend, your bandmate. Someone who you never thought would actually have their hands on you like this.

“Fuck. Look at you.” The sight of you looking up at him like that, all doe-eyed and shy had his cock aching.

His hands slip back into motion, but this time with less urgency.

He pulls both your pants and underwear off your legs, tossing them somewhere on his floor.

He pushes a finger through your slit, “This why you’re so wet? Been waiting for me to get my mouth on you for longer than you admitted.”

“Please, Harry.”

You push your hips into his touch, groaning into the sheets of his bed as he draws slow circles on your clit.

He leans to press a kiss into the crease of your thigh, so close to where you want him most.

Licking a stripe along the same spot, you begin to plead, “Please just touch me. Need it…”

“My poor girl is so needy. Cant even wait a second for me to get my tongue on her.” He coos, but gives in either way, letting his tongue push through your wet slit.

You’re trying so hard to hold back the moans as he flicks and sucks your clit, but fuck is this the best oral you’ve ever had.

Most guys you’ve been with rush through it, wanting to get it over with because it does nothing to please them. But Harry is clearly a giver, and gets a lot out of pleasing someone like this.

“Jesus Christ, you’re gonna make me come so fast.” You cry, an arm getting thrown over your face as you arch into every movement he makes.

He smiles into you, moving his mouth to your entrance, pushing his tongue in a bit before dragging back up to you clit— his nose bumping it in just the right spot.

Another moan comes out of you, unbridled as your cunt flutters in sync with the licks he’s placing against you.

He swaps between your clit and entrance, making sure both are getting the attention they deserve. Fast firm strokes along you— paired with kisses and sucks — are having you come undone faster than you’d expected.

“Shhh, baby, been doing so well f’me, can feel how close you are.” He pushes a finger into you, and you have to bite down on your lip to try and keep yourself quiet.

Pushing in another finger, he grunts, “God, you’re tight.”

“Been awhile…” you spoke, voice wavering— it sounding distant in your own head.

He hummed into you, the vibration of it pulsing through the whole of your body.

Curse words were flying out your lips, which you were trying so hard to keep shut. But every lap of his tongue against you had your resolve to keep quiet slipping through your grasp.

“I’m going to come, H. Hard.” You moaned— it was tearing out of you loudly, and you tired to muffle it with the crook of your arm.

“You can come, darling, ‘round my fingers and mouth like a good girl.”

His permission and praise was all you needed to tip over the edge, your cunt spasming around his fingers that were still pumping in and out of you.

He licked through your slick until you couldn’t breathe, your legs closing around his head trying to get him off your sensitive nerves.

Your breath was laboured as he pulled back, placing a final kiss on your stomach before making his way back up your body.

“Thank you…” you tiredly said, laying with your eyes half-lidded on his bed. And although you felt like you could fall asleep, there was no way you could not let him fuck you properly after that.

You pushed yourself up, and moved onto his lap.

He watched you carefully, a question in his eyes.

That was answered as you ground your hips carefully into his, the fabric of his sweatpants sending a zip up your spine.

“We don’t have to, sweet. Not if your tired.” His hand fell to your hip.

But when his mouth is still glistening with your arousal and cock is so hard underneath you, how could you not?

“I know, Harry. I really want to though.” You sigh into his neck, arms wrapped around his shoulders as you rubbed yourself along his fabric-covered boner.

All of the little noises coming from the back of his throat were sounded into your ear, and knowing how good this must be making him feel charged you to keep going.

“That’s right. Rub yourself through it Y/N. Over my cock, dripping all onto my pants.” His tone was deep, dipped in honey as he spoke to you.

You moaned as he snapped his hips upwards to meet the movement of your own.

“I’m clean and on the pill.” You say into his ear, shuddering. You have never wanted anything more.

He pauses, realisation at what your insinuating.

“Are you a hundered percent sure? Because I trust that you’re clean. And so am I.”

You start moving your hips again, “a thousand percent.”

“Can just imagine how easy m’gonna slip into you.” He traces patterns along the base of your spine.

“Just want to make you feel good, H.” You kiss the warm skin of his neck, taking it into your lips and biting it gently.

“Fuck, well y’already doing a good job of that.”

Your hand travels to his waistband, and he allows you to pull him out of his boxers.

He’s thick in your hand, heavy just as you’d imagined. But it’s so much better than you’d thought. He’s warm and smooth, head of him as pink as his lips.

You stroke along it, thumb brushing over his tip, dragging the pre-come that had leaked out down his shaft, indulging in his grunts that are sounding in your ear.

You shift up on your knees— unable to wait any longer, rubbing the head of his cock through your folds with a mutual gasp.

You rub a few circles on your clit with it, until your knees feel like they’re going to buckle. Which no better a time to line him up with your entrance.

“God— are you going to ride me?” He moans, holding you still with his hands for a moment.

“Is that ok?”

“That is so fucking hot.” He states, eyes pinching closed.

You sink yourself into him, feeling the stretch of your cunt as it tries to accomodate his large size.

You scrape your nails down his back as you get to the base of him, moaning in sync with one another.

“Oh my god.” His stomach muscles are clenching, “don’t move.”

The walls of his room seem to be spinning around him, and he inhales a deep breath in attempt to ground himself.

His hands rest on the peak of your hips, as he shudders out the same breath he just took in, “Sorry— you’re just so fuckin’ warm and tight.”

“You’re huge.” You whimper in response.

“Taking it so well. Knew you would, knew you’d be so snug around my cock. Always wanted to have you moan like this for me.” The words spill like a lust-drunk confession from his mouth.

You can’t even find anything to say back, just a passionate kiss over his lips.

“Can move now.” He says into your mouth.

Your hips gradually begin to move, starting with slow and precise rolls that have you both panting against each other.

His cock twitched inside you as you picked up the pace, bouncing up and down on him— your fingers finding their way down to your clit.

All you could feel was the hot burning pleasure in the pit of your stomach, and so much was coming from your mouth but you couldn’t even tell what it was. Just a mixture of swearing, moans and his name.

“Shh, sweet girl— fuck— know it feels so good but you have to stay quiet.” He cups your jaw, sealing your lips with another kiss.

The heat radiating off both of your bodies was searing, paired with the fiery pleasure in your stomachs, it could fight off even the coldest of December days.

His other hand replaced your own, and worked your clit better than you ever could. His long fingers swirling your bud in fast circles that matched your every bounce.

His bottom lip was caught between his teeth, desperately trying to hush his own groans. It was a sight to see him, his flushed face and messy brown curls— how he was trying just as hard to hold back.

“You’re so warm. Riding me so well.” He praises you with a grunt, stroking your clit with more pressure. You couldn’t even manage to respond, your thoughts were beyond muddled, and they only got worse as he increased the speed of his fingers.

The feeling of his cock sliding through your walls had your jaw fall completely lax, your hot breath fanning across his damp skin.

His only free hand travelled to your breast, kneading the warm flesh there, tweaking your nipple with gentle fingers.

“Oh god, oh god— Harry!” Every touch was clashing together into one euphoric feeling, your whole body shaking.

Your muscles were clenched taut, like a rubber band getting pulled tighter and tighter— and you were about to snap.

“Fuck, come around my cock— wanna feel it.”

His hips are bucking up to meet your bounces, he’s hitting every spot inside you.

“Harry— I’m going to— I’m gonna come.” You cried into his shoulder.

Praise is pouring from his mouth, and all it takes is a final flick of your clit too have you knocked of all your air.

Your jaw drops, teeth hitting Harry’s sharp collarbone, mantras of his name coming breathlessly from your mouth.

“God you’re perfect— squeezing so perfectly around me.” He moans, still playing with your clit.

“Please come, baby. Want you to fill me up.” You plead— tugging the roots of his hair, trying to keep up the pace of your bounces despite the blinding pleasure.

“Fuckk.” He comes within seconds of hearing you beg for it, his hips stuttering to meet your thrusts— his abdomen flexing under your fingers.

You ride him to the point your eyes are tearing up with the overstimulation, ensuring you get every drop of warm come you can from him.

Eventually you come to a halt at the base of him, now that both your orgasms have dulled out and he’s softening inside you.

You kiss his temple, hands coming up to wrap around his shoulders.

“You were so good for me, love.” He whispers.

You slip out of him, missing how he filled you up immediately. He rolled you both over before you could think about it too much, and your legs wrapping around his middle.

You looked down at the moth tattoo situated between your legs, and boldly you state, “I’d ride this too if I wasn’t so tired.”

His brows shoot up as you say that, your fingers beginning to outline the tattoo gingerly.

“You’re gonna give me another boner if you keep this up.” His voice falling a tone deeper.

A laugh sounds from you, and you cuddle up into his chest, “Sorry, but not really.” You say.

He plays with your hair, “Asshole.”

Your falling into a drowsy state, “Are you plaiting my hair?”

He hums a yes, “d’ya have a hair tie for it?”

“On my wrist.” You huff out a laugh, and you pull your hand from around his neck so he can pull it off.

He ties it, and kisses your forehead.

“Goodnight Y/N.” He whispers, seeing your shut eyes.

“Goodnight Harry.” You whisper back, pausing for a few seconds— then daring to say what’s been lingering on the tip of your tongue all night.

“I love you.” It’s a hush confession, one your too tied to care if you’re gonna regret it.

He looks down at you, through his own half-lidded eyes, “fuck, I love you too. So much.”

———

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles oneshot #best friend!harry #harrystyles smut #best friends to lovers #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #smut #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #harry styles x you #soft!harry

[vibratingskull]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do a f!reader x yandere Ar’alani? If not then just a f!reader x ar’alani is fine!

I was thinking the background story for reader was she was one of the humans Thrawn sent to the Ascendancy? And they don’t know why, not even reader. Ar’alani is suspicious of her at first because there isn’t a reason reader was sent there. Ar’alani starts to fall in love with the reader and her over kindness, maybe the reader is a people pleaser?

Please have a good day, drink lots of water!

Yandere Ar'alani? May this not wake up any lesbian tendencies in me!

Thrawn is also some kind of Yandere in this one.

You stand to attention, your whole body tense under her hard gaze.

So much of her mannerism is similar to your Grand Admiral, you wonder who influenced who. And her gaze is as sharp and shines the same cold intelligence deep into her shiny rubies. You hoped to find the same paternalist gentleness Thrawn bestowed upon you under his mentorship but she looks like she could kill you any second.

“So… Another one.” Ar’alani finally says after fixing you in complete silence for several minutes.

You purse your lips, not uttering a word, standing still.

“Why you?” She asks.

“Why… Am I here?” You mutter, you’d hoped Thrawn would have told her why because he sure didn’t tell you. “I do not know Ma’am.”

She looks at you up and down and sighs. She’s not happy.

“Please tell me no more of you will follow.”

“I do not think so.” You try to ease her mind.

“Good. I do not run an orphanage or a daycare and Thrawn keeps sending me lost puppies. He better lose that habit quickly.”

“Someone else was sent to you?” You ask surprised.

“Yes. You must know him well, you used to work alongside each other. Eli'van'to joined us three years ago.”

“Eli’s here?!” You exclaim.

She looks at you black for daring to raise your voice in her presence. On your end you were persuaded Eli died three years ago, he vanished so suddenly and left no traces. All his friends back at the Empire mourned him and you know Thrawn sent flowers to his parents. You mourned him too as an esteemed colleague, you were not close enough to call each other friends but knowing a familiar face here will help you tremendously.

“Remember me your name.” she demands, a questis in her hand.

You tell her again, trying to enunciate it clearly for her foreign ears.

“It is bound to change here, do not be surprised. What was your position in the Empire?”

“I was a Captain.” 

“You will be a Lieutenant Commander.”

“Oh…” Your shoulders lower, disappointed.

“Is that a problem for you?” She taunts.

“No, no! It’s perfect, Ma’am!” You get a grip of yourself.

“I am not in the obligation to give you a job, even less in the Navy.”

“I know Ma’am, thank you Ma’am.” You bow lightly.

She really is pissed, you think.

On her end she looks at you intently, dissecting you to atoms under her shiny gaze. She knows the fixing and silence makes you uncomfortable but she will observe you as she please. She knows why Ivant was sent, but you? No intel, no info from Thrawn, you simply appeared at the border of the Ascendancy one day with a message to deliver personally to the Supreme Admiral on behalf of her great friend. But it was clear Thrawn intended for you to remain in the Ascendancy after that. But why? What perks could you bring to the Ascendancy?

You don’t look like much. Average as so many other warriors.

But Thrawn saw something in you, something worthy of the Ascendancy. And it is her duty and honor to discover what it is.

She tuts and takes out a flash drive of her questis.

“Take this, any info you'll need is in it. We will start by intense sessions of Cheuhn to get you up to speed.”

“Alright, ma'am.”

“Any questions ?”

“No ma'am.” You quickly assure. 

“Good. You're dismissed.”

You stand to attention again and exit her office. 

Her gaze remains where you were standing. You seemed to have a good accent for Cheuhn, she could hear it in your voice. Your face wasn't as displeasing to look out for a human too, which is quite rare for a species lacking ridges. 

She shakes her head, what is she thinking ? She buries herself back into work and promptly forgot about your existence. 

---------------------

You cross paths again one day in the mess hall for officers of the Vigilant, she came to speak to Eli, or Ivant here, about the current mission. You were laughing together, a cup of caccoleaf in hand when you felt a breath on the back of your neck and an imposing presence looming over you. 

“Ivant, I need your report.” She spoke in Cheuhn.

“I’m currently writing it. You will receive it in less than two hours, Admiral.” He responds in the same language, excluding you.

“Those maneuvers were out of the ordinary and I never encountered them in the Archives. We shall prepare accordingly.” 

“Oh!” You exclaim “I did! They remind me of a certain species in the Empire.” You announce in Cheuhn.

They both look at you like you just started screaming in their face. You are not supposed to speak and understand Cheuhn this well already. But you spoke flawlessly, with minute errors and one of the best accents that she ever heard for a beginner. 

As she predicted.

“Did… Did I say something wrong?” You start worrying, facing their expressions.

She recovers her mask of sterness in less than a second once the initial shock passes. She didn’t plan for you to already speak that well, she counted on several other months of confidentiality with her Chiss officers on the bridge but you already reached that level.

She doesn’t show it but she’s quite impressed. Even Ivant, with his advanced knowledge of Si Bisty took more time to learn the language.

“No, you spoke well.” She ceremoniously admits, “You said those strategies were familiar to you?”

“I encountered something similar in my early years at the Empire.”

“Do you think they could be members of the same species?” She investigates.

“No, surely not. But their thinking mechanics are strikingly similar.” You inform.

She takes a minute to think, her chin between two fingers. Eli takes a sip of his drink, his gaze traveling between you two.

“You will come to my office after your shift and teach me all you know about them.” She finally orders, “I want to crush that problem before they become a real threat to the Ascendancy.”

“Ma’am yes Ma’am.” You confirm.

“So, is everything well for you two?” She inquires.

Is she trying to small talk? She surprises herself. The question just escaped her when she laid eyes on you again. The black uniform suits you way better than this atrocious green.

“Oh, yes, I think?” You chuckle a bit embarrassed, “The rest of the crew have not adopted me yet but they slowly relax in my presence, I suppose.” 

“I’m good.” Eli placidly responds, finishing his cup.

“Very well.” She responds and turns her heels.

Why did she ask that? What’s it with her? That’s not her problem. You don’t need her hovering over your shoulder to assimilate to the crew, you’re an adult.

Because Thrawn wouldn’t let it go if he ever realized you both weren’t welcomed while you were clearly an important addition to the Chiss arsenal.

That’s why.

Obviously.

No other possible reason.

And she’s clearly eager to learn what you have to teach her to better protect her people.

That’s why her heart fluttered for a semi-second when she ordered you to come see her tonight.

No other possibilities.

Of course! Why else?

------------------------

Ar’alani raises an eyebrow at you.

You’re standing with two cups in hand and a nice, but tensed, smile on your face as she gauges you.

“I thought… You would need it considering the advanced hour?” You try to explain.

That’s not what tickles her.

What she wants to know is how you learned it was her favorite drink.

When did you notice it?

“I shouldn’t have?” you ask, gulping wondering if you made an error.

“No.” She finally says. “It is a nice attention.”

She takes the cup and drinks a sip to ease your tension. Exactly how she likes it, how did you know?

You sigh of relief.

“I thought I offended you for a second.”

“Well it is not quite standard for a Lieutenant Commander to bring her Admiral a drink when they are about to discuss planning strategies.” She notes.

“Oh…” Your shoulders lower, “I used to bring Grand Admiral Thrawn his favorite when he invited me to strategize.”

She frowns for a second. Why do you feel the need to speak about your former superior? You are with the Chiss now! This is where your allegiance should go, not your former Empire. You better remember it, or she…

She shakes her head. You’re nostalgic, of course. 

“He must have appreciated the gesture.” She slowly nods, remembering her friend in the cafe when she celebrated her promotion.

“I hope so.” Your cheeks heat up suddenly.

She didn’t miss that.

And, somehow, she doesn’t like that.

“What can you tell me about them?” She refocuses the conversation on your present problem.

The black suits you so much better she notices again!

She listens to you explaining the strategies but she can’t help her gaze going back to your profile, your features illuminated by the blue light of the holographic map. Your face really isn’t displeasing to look at…

For an alien, of course!

You could never compare to Chiss beauty standards, she’s just trying to be nice.

She’s just trying to find a good aspect to you, you’re bound to live close to her now, she better find some perks in the situation.

No possible other explanations.

“Admiral?” You ask, bringing her back to reality. “Are you listening?”

“My excuses.” She berates herself, “I was deeply thinking.”

“About what?” you ask, curious.

If you were offended to talk in the void you don’t show it, nice little you.

“About why Thrawn felt the need to send you to us.”

“Oh, well! If you find out why, please tell me!” You chuckle.

Oh that is such a sweet sound…

She quite likes it.

Quite a lot in fact, could you laugh again?

Just one more time.

Just for her…

----------------------------------------------

Ar’alani is frozen in place. On the other side of the room she observes you hugging Ivant tight. 

For some reason it ties her stomach in knots and angers her tremendously.

She excuses herself to Wuttrow and walks towards you with a death stare.

“Fraternization is forbidden on my ship!” She exclaims with her commending voice, resonating in the entire room.

That’s an outrageous lie, she couldn’t care less if her warriors entered relationships. She takes pleasure at seeing you two jumps and separate hurriedly, squirming under her burning gaze. She likes making you feel little and submit to her, and that display of obedience is… quite pleasant.

“Are you two animals to behave like this?!” She insists.

Again, lies. People hug everyday on her ship, but she doesn’t like you getting close to Ivant.

Granted, he’s the only other human here and you might want to feel close to the only other individual of your kind, but you’re in the Ascendancy now, under her cares and rules.

And she just ruled that she doesn’t like you hugging him.

“Ivant, I expected intel on the advancement of your mission an hour ago!” She orders.

She did not, and never asked that of him. He tenses up, ready to ask something but swallows up his next words when they lock eyes.

Now is not the time to argue with Admiral Ar’alani.

So he bows his head lightly.

“I’m on it Admiral.” And he walks away, hurriedly.

You’re alone in front of the dragon now.

She turns back to you, head low, awaiting your sentence for “breaking the rules”. She can see how embarrassed you are, she reads bodies like a pro, and nothing escapes her sharp gaze.

You are mortified.

You do look cute like that…

“Do you have any excuses for your behavior?” She demands. 

“We were not fraternizing.” You try, “Eli… Ivant is just a good friend. I needed a little comfort.”

“We have therapists for that.” She cruelly hammers home.

“I… I did not know.” You admit.

“You should have. What good can you do if you don't even know the most basic rules here?”

“I am sorry Admiral. It won’t happen again.” You lower your head deeper.

“Do you think it is enough for me to pardon such an infringement?”

You raise your head hesitantly, looking up to her, towering over you with her grand stature.

She is absolutely terrifying when angry.

She sees fear in your shaky figure.

Good.

You look good like that.

It looks appropriate to her, her ordering and you obeying without a second guess.

“No…?” You respond softly, trying to ease her anger.

“Do you have an idea of how to repair your error?”

“A sentence?” 

“Yes… Or we could arrange things together.” She proposes with a thin layer of venom sugarcoating her words.

“How?” You ask with tremors in your voice.

Is it how you act when you are flustered? That’s interesting.

Do you moan in the same fashion?

Well she will have to discover for herself.

She places one hand beside your head against the wall, forcing you to take a step back, blocking you against the wall.

“... Ma’am?” You ask, completely lost and terrified.

Your heat signals are all over the place. Your face heats up like a fuming pot, as well as your body locked in a fight or flight response. You clearly don’t know how to react.

She slowly gets closer to you, devouring you with her shiny rubies. She’s that close to licking her lips, but she has more self-control than that.

She authorizes her gaze to lower on your lips however.

“Ma’am?” You squeal.

Your lips are mere centimeters away. You can feel her breath on yours, and you gasp, your heart skipping a beat. 

What she's doing goes completely against what she just told you, but she is the Admiral, she has privileges ! 

She seizes your chin between her fingers to tilt your head and when she's about to savor your lips for the first time-

“Admiral ? We ‘re receiving communication from the ship Chimaera.”

---------------

“Good day, Lieutenant Commander Vanto.” Thrawn salutes politely

Ar’alani feels Ivant tensing up next to her.

Thrawn and sociability… Always have been and always will be a piece!

Thank the Warrior for him he saluted her better than that, his gaze then travels to you, a little behind her shoulder.

“Good Day to you too, Lieutenant Commander (F/n)”

“Welcome, Grand Admiral.”

She starts.

She felt the warmth and the smile in your voice.

You never spoke to her like that. She never heard such a tone coming from you.

She turns her head ever so slightly to observe you from the side.

You are radiant, smiling with your eyes fixed on him.

Are you…

No.

No, you couldn’t!

Your Empire is xenophobic, surely you couldn’t….

But you look at him with so much… Love.

Her stomach sinks instantly. You never looked at her the same.

And somehow it pains her immensely. Even though she’s not sure why…

“I need to speak to you urgently, Admiral.” Thrawn calls back to her.

“Indeed, we do, Grand Admiral. Of a lot of things and in depth.” She responds, her burning gaze going back on her long lost friend.

They have a lot of things to talk about.

Urgently.

“How are they doing?” Thrawn asks suddenly after at least two hours of strategizing.

They are both alone in Thrawn’s office, his gaze didn’t leave the holomap, deeply focused. In fact they were right in the middle of another discussion, prompting her to raise her head to him when he changed subject so suddenly.

“They are doing well.” She coldly respond.

“Vanto?” 

“He mastered Cheuhn without too much difficulty, he is a good officer, giving and receiving orders with a sharp mind. Quick and effective. I do not have a complaint about him.”

“(F/n)?”

Did he just snigger? 

She frowns at him, but his gaze is fixated on the map, with a still and serious expression. She relaxes a little.

“Well, to be absolutely honest she questions orders and is terribly clumsy. We needed to allocate her several different roommates because she couldn’t keep one more than one week. She is shy and let people walk over too easily, I always have to watch over her to not let her get eaten up. She still isn’t accepted by the rest of the crew and needs to be oriented constantly, the only thing she has for her is that she tries so hard to please others that she is pitiful. I do not know how she could lead forces back then and don’t know how she will now if I constantly have to watch her, I do not know why you embarrass me with her but she’s more of a burden than anything else for now.”

She goes harder than she needs to, but she also needed to get it off her chest!

“I knew you would be crazy about her.”

Okay, she clearly heard a snigger this time!

She shoots him with her gaze only to see him looking at her with sparkly eyes.

“I take it that I choose her well.”

“You… What?!” She demands, incredulous.

“You heard me well. I see you are plenty entertained and occupied as you like to be.”

“I do not need to be occupied by a child.”

“She is no child. And you know it, you would have destituted her of her rank by now otherwise.”

True.

But still, why does he mock her?

“Am I to understand you chose her for me and not for the good of the Ascendancy?”

“Those two goals are intertwined. I just thought my dearest friend would love a pet for herself to entertain her during her long campaigns.”

She gauges him up and down, almost like a curious cat.

“... As she entertained me.”

They lock eyes and she realizes, maybe for the first time, that they are one and the same. Sharing a mutual understanding, the discussion ends and they refocus on the topics at hand.

-------------------------------

You look at the Chimaera in silence, hands clasped in your back like he does. And so does she.

“Do you miss him?” she asks out of the blue, placing herself next to you.

“Yes…” You confess.

“We will see him again.” She comforts you.

“May you be right, Ma’am.”

“He will not die. Not him.”

“True, he is not the type to be killed off without a fight.” You admit.

She looks at the Chimaera too, imagining Thrawn giving his orders, leading his troops to battle. Did you obey him as eagerly as you did her? Did you follow him blindly with those big eyes full of love and admiration? Did you hope to be discreet?

Because he clearly caught you.

Unbeknownst to you he sent you as a present for her. For her to hug and kiss, maybe to break you ultimately…

The Chimaera shudders and disappears suddenly, passing in hyperspace.

“Now, we have work to do.” She proclaims.

“Yes, Ma’am.” You respond and follow her obediently.

She smiles to herself, hiding from you.

She will have you. In one way or another she will take you attention off Thrawn and refocus it on herself.

In one way or another you will look up to her with those big eyes full of love as you did to him.

She promises herself that.

And she cannot wait…

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar@thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay

☆Tag list

#admiral ar'alani #ar'alani x reader #ar'alani #thrawn #fanfic #vibratingskull

[lila-rae]

For the 2 people who asked for this ( @jeanjamesb @yesimscots )

I really want us to normalize viewing celebrities as first and foremost humans that share pretty much all the same traits, wants, desires, annoyances as any human.

Celebrities are not fictional characters. Their lives aren’t like your favorite movie couple solely existing when they’re seen by the media. They have lives that probably look similar to your own.

Now Lila where are you going with this?

So glad you asked. Last night I got an ask that essentially said “Z is back in London because she liked a post a 4:30am London time”. Ignoring the fact that if she was back in LA it would be fine. I want to talk about how in only her apparently being awake at 4:30 seems unfathomable. I’m pretty sure everyone on this godforsaken dumpster fire of an app has been on here at 3/4/5 in the morning. Whether that’s from waking up in the middle of the night or just staying up late, we know it’s not an impossibility that people would be awake on social media in the middle of the night. Hell I’m constantly on here at 4/5 am. It doesn’t indicate a time zone jump. But also if she was in LA who cares. That changes nothing about their relationship no matter how much some of you hope it will. But again what makes Z do special that being up at 4:30 is a shocking act?

Now I also want to point out the “he’s golfing where is she” “he’s golfing clearly she left” “he left her alone to go hang out with his friends” asks that popped up. They are in a romantic relationship but it is not the only personal relationship they have. It is healthy to still have friends. It is healthy to have time by yourself. They don’t need to, and shouldn’t, spend 24 hours a day together. I don’t know a single couple, and let’s be real neither do you, that spends every moment of free time together. You know why? Because that would be unhealthy. Him going on a guys trip is healthy and also great for him. It’s amazing to see people especially men nourishing their friendships in adulthood. But also even without a big trip doing things alone isn’t weird or indicative of your relationship health. You know what I love to do? Go to target by myself and just roam the aisles. Does that mean I’d rather be at target than with my family? Nope. It means I enjoy time to myself and drinking coffee while leaning on a cart. If we see one out shopping while they’re in the same city it is not inherently a negative thing. It’s just normal human behavior.

So next time you decide this is weird maybe analyze that thought a little more and see if you’d think it was bad if any other person/couple you know did it.

And I get that the people who actually need to hear this will probably ignore it, but just in case you don’t, I want you to reevaluate how you view relationships and think about wether or not you’re setting up an unhealthy mindset when it comes to relationships. Like forget the TZness of it all. These asks clearly show a lack of knowledge of healthy interpersonal relationships, (familial, platonic, and romantic). And I want better for you.

#now I’m going back to packing #or I will procrastinate and get nothing done and we have a flight to catch

[bookish-bogwitch]

Trope Grading Game aka Grope Trading Game

Thanks for the tags @artsyunderstudy, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, and @aristocratic-otter! This seems like a lot of fun.

@ileadacharmedlife @moodandmist @facewithoutheart @skee3000 @ivelovedhimthroughworse @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @raenestee, and everyone whose fic is mentioned below and everyone reading this, consider yourself tagged if you haven't gone!

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 - don’t care either way

+10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Age gap: -2

Not into it at all for younger characters, but I don't mind for older ones. I haven't read a lot of couples with bigger age gaps but I wouldn't rule out enjoying it in the right context--though I can't see being into it for the sake of the trope itself. (I love you for you, Malcolm Grimm.) Codependency: Interdependency: +7

The template asks about codependency but I finally looked up what codependency means and it's about an uneven relationship where a partner, friend, or family member subsumes their own needs in the course of accommodating / enabling another person's destructive behavior. Is that anyone's jam? There's a reason Rainbow skipped the 12 months between the CO epilogue and the start of WS...

But if we're talking interdependency, then I'm super into it. Octavia Butler was right: "dependency is sexy if it's chosen and not coercive. Symbiosis is a kind of dependency. A dependency of equals is best." Snowbaz symbolizes this with the whole hot/cold body temp thing, which is #sharingabedgoals, and there's lots of great fic in this fandom exploring it, my all-time fave being @fatalfangirl's stunning Bound and Determined.

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +2

Obsession, sure, sign me up. What is Simon at all those football practices if not obsession?

And I can get behind jealousy as a device for revealing the depth of otherwise hidden or even denied feelings. But active, power-and-control-wheel possessiveness? Gross.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +5

Yeah! I love watching the grump's walls come down. But with the caveat that the sunshine can't be a one-dimensional, manic pixie dream character, because the that's just boring and I don't care about them.

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +5

What snowbaz fan isn't into this? But a key element for me is that there has to be some reason behind the initial enemies dynamic besides one or both of them just being an asshole. Maybe they think that's what's up at first and then learn otherwise, but if their enemy status is based on something real, like they genuinely hate each other based on accurate knowledge about each other, I find it implausible and probably also difficult to like one or both of them.

That's part of why Snowbaz works for me: Baz and Simon's enemy status was imposed on them by a fucked up political system and abusive caretakers. Left to their own devices they'd probably never have been enemies. The reason for their animosity is not the core of who they are.

Friends with benefits: +2

Ehhh is it benefits to full on love? I don't really connect with allo perspectives on sexual relationships, like I get them intellectually but I don't jive with them on an emotional level, so there has to be that emotional draw for me, that underlying romance. I mean tho, @fatalfangirl stacy is writing an excellent fic on this premise right now that I absolutely love because there are clearly feelings involved. But it also might fall more into the realm of the next trope on this list ... which is ...

What Ashton said 😂 also props to fandom for teaching me that I am demisexual, and that this is not a default mode of existence.

Sex to feelings: [phone]

It's the fucking BEST. You get to read all the smut and then the climax ISN'T "and then we did it," it's "and then we were emotionally intimate." You get to be horny and a sap.

I also think this trope inherently pushes writers' creativity because the relationship's progression can't follow standard mainstream romance beats. And the sex scenes usually have narrative significance by showing how the relationship is changing, which produces great writing.

Fake dating/relationship: +5

Yes, especially if there's lots of pining along the way! @captain-aralias's Unintended is a great example.

Friends to lovers: +3

I wouldn't say I seek this out specifically but there are so many great fics with this tag. Here are a few (but not all) of my favorites: I'd Gladly Eat You for Breakfast by @whogaveyoupermission What Remains After the Storm by @hushed-chorus Sixty Seconds by @artsyunderstudy Petrichor by @martsonmars And again Unintended by @captain-aralias

Found Family: +1

It's fine? I love moving proofs of love and affection outside of romance, but whether it's in something that fits the label "found family" or not is important to me.

Hurt/Comfort: +10

PUT IT DIRECTLY. INTO MY MOUTH. I am a fucking sap for hurt/comfort. It gives me the swoops. There is fucking nothing I like better than lovers (or almost lovers) comforting each other and taking care of each other, emotionally, physically, spiritually, whatever. It's sexy to me. It affects me deeply.

#WhatAshtonSaid. I literally have a WIP going where someone says "who did this to you??" just because I love it so much. I'm pretty sure Nightmares and Excuses was the first fic that made me cry. (It's not hard to do.)

Love Triangle: -8

Not my thing if there's genuine heartbreak / unrequited love floating around. That just bums me out. I get a kick out of the Agatha-Simon-Baz's confusion in CO, but only Penny thinks that's actually a love triangle. I think the only book I've ever loved with a "real" love triangle is Emma and even [SPOILER FOR 208-YEAR-OLD-BOOK] Harriet's not actually in love with Mr. Knightley, she just thinks she is.

Poly, open relationships: -4

Only if it's porn without plot and even then it's pretty rare that I'm into it. I'm not usually interested in sex scenes without a romantic/love element (even if that element is deeply repressed) and am personally very monogamous and have a hard time connecting with poly relationship themes. Which obviously does not mean that poly =/= emotional or romantic connection, not at all, it's just a tough one to wrap my head around.

@skee3000 nailed this for me in Minos, by having Simon and Baz connect with each other even as they have three-way with Mr. Minos, but now I'm conflating a threesome with poly/open relationships. Go read it anyway.

Mistaken/hidden identity: +2

Not sure I can think of a Snowbaz fic that focuses on this, although I'm sure there are some. I do like it when characters meet for the first time and are drawn to each other, only to learn that each other's larger identities make that complicated. And the trust issues that brings up. There are a couple of KJ Charles novels that deal with this really beautifully.

Monsterfucking: +5

I really love when monsterfucking is used as a way to celebrate difference and work through a character's feelings about their own body or its changes. This fandom does a great job with that. Otherwise I'm not drawn to any particular monsters for their monstery sake (but see: Minos's horns).

Pregnancy: -2

+8 for mpreg, -10 for other pregnancy.

I stalled out for two weeks on this post, wondering how to explain this without getting darker and more personal than I'd like. And then realized I don't have to explain 😃.

Second Chance: +7

Love it! I don't always have the heart to read the actual breakup, or falling out, or lost opportunity etc., but I love fics where that has already happened and we're seeing them put themselves back together. Some examples, that may or may not have this tag but definitely have this theme:

What's Left by @cutestkilla This Will All Go Down in Flames by @facewithoutheart There's Be Peace When You Are Done by somekindofpath Once More, with Feeling by fox_pitch

And probably countless others I'm forgetting.

Slowburn: +10

Yeah! I know I said I love sex before feelings but I love this too. (And I think they can be successfully combined into slow-feelings-burn.) There's nothing like a satisfying, well-earned payoff. I also admire well-executed slowburns because whenever I write a get-together fic I have to actively resist mashing their faces together in the first 100 words.

Soulmates: -1

In theory I don't love these. The red string, etc. It can just feel played out, and also the emotional logic of it is kind of alienating. I have a hard time putting my head into a world where people have these predestined connections and are trying to find each other because it's just so not how I see relationships. BUT when an author critically and playfully messes with the trope, it can be lots of fun. All This Soulmate Shit by half_witch mashes up a dozen different soulmate tropes to make something that's brilliant, funny, sexy, and feels like they are actively choosing each other rather than obeying destiny. I also adore Bound and Determined by @fatalfangirl for how it plays with the idea of free will and consent, which feel like soulmate-related theme. But it's probably not a coincidence that this fic doesn't have the "soulmates" tag.

That's a lot of me me me and what I think. What do YOU think, friends?

#tag game #trope grading game #navel gazing #simon snow fandom meta-talk

[shirefantasies]

Hi, I hope you doing good. Can i have a matchup for LOTR and/or HOBBIT please 💐 Firstly English not my first language. I'm autistic. I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy chubby cheeks. I have braces. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. My eyebrows are constantly furrowed. Also I'm 172 cm. I'm Libra. If you interested, my mbti Infp and my enneagram 5w4. I always have poker face. I'm very outspoken, stubborn. I always doing my job alone. I find it difficult to express my feelings and prefer to isolate myself. My best feature is that I know a little about everything, I always surprise people. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, scary, quiet, unapproachable and distant, mature. But at heart I'm compassionate and helpful, works for the good of people. And they often think I can't speak and I'm deaf but I'm not. People say I'm extremely chaste. When I enter an environment, I listen to what people say and get to know them well, I decide if there is anyone worth talking to. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, sarcastic, resourceful and knowledgeable. I am usually a rebellious person. I am the person who stands against injustices and lies in an environment. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. Actually i like to help everyone and it works automatically without me noticing. I will help anyone by giving my all. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, politics, history, fashion. I like to visit second-hand and antique markets. I'm someone who doesn't like to waste money but cares about clothing. I always wear my headphones and listen to music, i listen every genre. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints or all black. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. And I don't believe in love. If I'm going to be with someone, I'll be happy if we have respect, compassion, and loyalty to each other. It is enough that we are in harmony with each other. If I am with someone, I am clearly their mother.

You sure can have a matchup 💐 and your man is…

Beorn! 🐻

You are tired of the world. Tired of all its hustle and bustle and rules and unnecessary noise. It isn’t like you have family back in any of those towns and cities anyway. Nature is your true domain, the place where you can be yourself and feel harmony, stroll through fields of fragrant blooms without prying eyes…or so you think. A small patrol of orcs catches you off guard, brandishing their scimitars and chasing you deeper into the woods you had sought solace in. Your legs pump as fast as they can, but it is hardly enough. Just as you think your burning, heaving chest will give out and fail you, though, a great bear bursts from the woods, making short work of your would-be tormentors. Before your eyes the beast shrinks down, becoming a great man, and bids you simply “Come with me.”

Had you more energy you’d have tried to fight, but as it is you practically shake from the adrenaline and still feel a burning in your lungs; nodding, you just follow him down a trail and across a field to his cottage. Distant, in bloom, populated only by livestock and bumblebees. You like it. Tentatively you smile up at the towering, bearded man. “You have no home, do you?” He asks. You shake your head and he sighs. “That is what I thought.” It seemed he isn’t much one for company, either. No complaints leave his lips, though, as you set down your small pack of possessions, or as you scan the interior of his home, taking in every nook and cranny. “We eat in an hour,” the man simply says.

Beorn. You learn his name over the meal, confirm your suspicions that he, too, has his reasons for isolating from society. Tell him how beautiful his home really is as he speaks of protecting nature’s gifts and feeling no remorse for those who sully them. Respect flows through you at his words, keeps you nodding as he speaks.

When you emerge the next morning, this time clean and in a long dress of floral print, you notice the way Beorn’s bushy eyebrows rise, his expression softens. You practically challenge him as you go outside, exploring and gently tending the livestock. He says nothing, though, save following you and giving you the occasional nod at your kind treatment of his animals. “Keep my house safe,” he tells you at the end of the day, “and I keep the woods safe.” In his way, you realize, he is asking you to stay, and you agree. He makes a nicer meal this night.

Your motions in the kitchen are something of a dance, Beorn and you all but intuitively moving around the other, working in perfect rhythm. His people have many old songs to learn, and you vow to sing them as best you can as you work. Beorn cleans and bends some old metal scraps, strings a pair of acorns into new earrings for you. Payment for repairing all his blankets, he says, but you catch the faintest of smiles on his lips. Spring explodes across the meadows in great flowery bursts. Soon in your pastures a new calf is born; in a wave of excitement and celebration, Beorn lifts you up by the waist and spins you around. Both of your serious expressions bursting into true joy, utter freedom of care and concern, for the first time in too long. Some may call your life simple, your relationship confusing, but you know what you are to each other deep in your hearts of hearts and you want for nothing that your woods, your little cottage, and each other cannot provide.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰

#the hobbit #the hobbit imagines #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit matchups #beorn #beorn x reader #ask #anon #requested #matchup monday

[dark-night-star-light]

Spirit Animals: The Book of Shane (Reread pt. 18)

DISCLAIMER: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE SERIES EXCEPT THE LAST FOUR BOOKS OF THE SECOND SERIES (THIRD ARC). 

Masterpost

Who is Shane?

“It isn’t very often that a gorilla and an octopus have a polite conversation” (1). God, I forgot how much I love this book.

“‘Hello, hello,’ said a deep voice . . . ” (1). I adore Mulop. He’s probably the best Great Beast.

“‘A villain through and through. The perfect choice to destroy the world and hand it over to me’” (2). This . . . is not how villains think. They genuinely believe they’re doing the right thing. Especially Kovo. He’s not just a mustache twirling villain. He has complex motivations. Why’s he pretending otherwise???

“‘I see a boy who will regret his mistakes . . . and who will miss his only true friend’” (2). The Shane and Abeke crumbs are going to destroy me. “His only true friend” I’m going to start sobbing.

“‘Is there a soul in there with any hope of redemption?’” (3). Shane’s redemption arc is truly one of the best I’ve ever seen. Also, this book clearly hints at the Wyrm, so I wonder why the writers didn’t make Kovo seem even the least bit sympathetic.

“‘I am quite certain,’ said Mulop. ‘that he would disagree.’ ‘I am quite certain,’ said Kovo. ‘that I don’t care’” (4). Obsessed with this interaction.

I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but I actually really like the fourth wall break at the end of the introduction.

Venom

I forgot about the quotes . . . 

The parallels to the main story are so good. Both stories start with the summoning of a spirit animal but the contrast between terror and happiness is so jarring.

 “It was only then that the true horror of the situation finally dawned on Shane” (11). I think it’s so interesting that Shane himself never summoned one. That’s such a good choice on the writers’ part.

Shane’s jerking awake and obsessive checking is so sad. It almost feels like a form of PTSD. I love how they characterized him and his bare room.

“It was only after he was satisfied that he had not summoned a spirit animal in his sleep that he remembered to breathe” (11). How would you not know, though? You’d feel it.

“The tapestries showed legendary scenes of Stetriol’s ancient past. On one, torrents of water flowed from the mouth of a frog, creating all the lakes and rivers. Another showed two lizards painting patterns on each other, one with a fine brush and an eye for detail, the other without care” (12). I feel like that means something. Also, that must be Stetriol’s legendary water frog.

“But the Great Beasts had cursed Stetriol. They were better forgotten” (12). I wonder if Shane believes in the Great Beasts’ existence. Also, it’s so interesting how the “God” interpretation works here for the Great Beasts too, seeing as how Shane blames them for Stetriol’s curse. It’s strange he never learned about the First Devourer War.

“Shane imagined that if she attempted to lower herself any more than that, she might never manage to get up again” (13). Shane is hilarious, actually. Just not in a conventional way.

“He wasn’t sure exactly how old she was, but during her history lessons it was easy to imagine that she spoke from personal experience. The oddest thing about her, though, was that she sometimes spoke of the future as if it were history, too” (13). Wait. Did Yumaris bond to the earthworm before the events of the series??? I thought she got it when she drank the Bile??? Also, wow, lots of potential for plot holes there . . . 

“‘You will be glad to have this blade,’ she said . . . ” (13). OMG WAIT. DID SHE SEE THE WAR COMING? IS THAT WHY SHE GAVE HIM THE BLADE??? I think I got it, guys . . .

“Yumaris answered, a faraway look in her eyes. ‘For words and learning do little to impress a jackal.’ Shane tightened his belt and gave his tutor a questioning look. ‘There are no jackals in Stetriol’” (13). Wait. Yumaris saw Zerif coming??? That’s how I’m going to interpret it . . . 

It’s funny how Shane sees Gar as this wicked man, then does nothing about it.

“ . . . rumor had it that King Feliandor himself had added them during his reign, sometime after he had taken to calling himself the Reptile King” (15). So, the people of Stetriol know something at least . . .

“That was only made worse after the great war and the Greencloak invasion, when the island nation’s shores were overrun” (15). Wait, so. Then that means they know the full story, right??? Also I don’t know if I’ve talked about it before but the parallels between the Devourer Wars and the World Wars. The first ones were both referred to as “the great war” and the second was directly caused by the attacking nation being sidelined after being defeated during the first. I almost wonder if the inspiration for the First and Second Devourer Wars came from World War I and II.

Okay, so Zerif’s sunburn makes sense given that he climbed to Muttering Rock, but how was he not fried alive???

So Magda appears to be a servant, but earlier it’s stated that they didn’t have money to pay servants???

I kind of wish they’d shown more scenes of Shane and Drina before the bonding sickness incident.

“‘A worm? A slug? Something small and worthless’” (19). Interesting that Drina says this, because Yumaris’s spirit animal is a worm. Almost feels like Drina has a strained relationship with Yumaris. Foreshadowing the fact that Yumaris is the one that held Drina down when she got killed by Gerathon?

[cut because block limit]

“‘It’s not fair,’ she said . . . ‘I’d be great. I’d be so great’” (19). That’s actually so heartbreaking. 

“But in that moment, he felt no pity for her, and no love - only hate. Then he saw the handkerchief she held against her mouth. It was wet and heavy with blood” (19). This hits so hard. Just straight observations with no emotions attached. It feels so hopeless.

This snake anecdote is interesting. Might talk about it more in my Shane analysis. 

“But then their mother was there” (20). Doesn’t she have the bonding sickness??? Maybe this was a good day.

“‘This is the prince of Stetriol,’ she said. ‘He’ll never bow to a mere snake’” (21). This could either be irony, considering what happened with Gerathon, or it could be symbolism, with snakes representing evil and his mother saying that Shane would never become evil.

“In her absence . . . ” (21). Is Shane’s mom dead?

“ . . . when the Reptile King’s soldiers had bonded with any animal they could get their hands on” (21). So he knows about the Bile, too???

“‘I am in charge!’ Shane shouted” (23). Yeah, gettem. Also it’s hilarious how this must look to Zerif, to have this child shout at him like that.

Why doesn’t Shane just show Zerif to his father? Like, yeah, he’s sick or whatever, but he can just have him thrown in jail afterward again.

Shane casually calling himself leader in front of Gar!!!

“‘We’re the most peaceful nation in Erdas. The rest of the world pretends we don’t exist’” (25). He literally knows the entire story except the part about the existence of Nectar??? Also, why is Gar so insistent on starting a war? Like all he cares about is building his fleet. But why?

“‘It is my honor as regent to stand before you today to christen this ship . . . ’” (27). Erdas had Christianity???

The Stetriol-post-WWI-Germany parallels are. Not subtle.

Isn’t this the scene where Shane realizes that Gar wants to send him away to war to secure his own power??? Why is that not mentioned?

The idea of a small eight-year-old child who’s determined to kill all snakes is simply adorable.

“He was armed for war” (29). *insert picture of small child in scraps of armor*

“‘He wants to hurt the snakes,’ Drina said . . . ‘Because they hurt him’” (30). It’s interesting how Shane’s mom teaches him about harming innocents with revenge as young as eight, but this scene never actually says he processed or learned that.

“‘Most snakes are harmless, Shane. And the one that bit you was only surprised. You don’t want to hurt snakes for being snakes, do you?’” (30). Parallels between the war on the snakes and the war on the Greencloaks? The Greencloaks hurt Shane first, so he tries to hurt all of them, even the innocent ones. 

Small Shane yelling about how he’s not scared is so cute.

“‘Sometimes hate and fear are the same thing’” (30). Is this coded toward his relationship with Drina or the Greencloaks?

“ . . . Shane widened his eyes as if he cared” (31). Shouldn’t . . . he? Isn’t he kinda poor? Stolen food could be expensive . . . Also why are there servants now???

It’s so interesting how we don’t see Drina’s response to Shane asking her to leave with him . . .

“The planks that made up the fort had been painted pink and green - Drina’s and Shane’s respective favorite colors” (32). I’m going to assume that Shane’s favorite color is green based on the order the names and colors are listed in . . . his favorite color used to be the color of his future enemies . . . 

“He trailed his hand along a pink plank, curled his fingers into the gap, and with sudden violence ripped the board free” (32). He’s ripping away his childhood . . . ?

Oh, this is the scene where he realizes Gar’s plans to send him away to danger.

“If Shane refused to sail with the fleet, he would look like a coward” (32). He says . . . right before the exposition about his plan to leave Stetriol. Does he think that won’t make him look like a coward???

“Perhaps they’d even have a cure for Drina” (33). He’s right . . . in a sense. Even though it’s never explicitly stated, it's definitely implied that Nectar can’t cure bonding sickness, it can only prevent it.

Nobody: Literally nobody: Shane: *screams*

“‘Sugar water. Salt water. One maniac tried to convince my father to drink snake venom’” (34). But like. Why??? Was he unhappy or something?

“‘And during the day, it’s as hot as a cauldron.’ ‘I do not burn easily,’ Zerif said . . . ” (35). Only during the day??? Well, then, a lot of people should’ve been able to get to the top, right??? Just do it during the night . . . why is Zerif the only one who’s done this???

“‘One can learn all sorts of secrets,’ . . . ‘if one takes time to listen at the base of that great pillar’” (35). So Kovo didn’t hire Zerif, Zerif just overheard him talking???

“But Shane wasn’t allowed in the water. He knew he’d never be free” (36). Free, as in freely bonded to a spirit animal??? 

I forgot Shane’s mom died. 

“ . . . the Great Beasts were all but ignored in Stetriol . . . ” (37). Because Stetriolans believe the Great Beasts cursed them? 

It’s interesting how Shane thinks of the Four Fallen as “aid[ing] the Greencloak invasion” (37).

It really means something that Shane chose Mulop and Mulop is the only Great Beast that canonically saw the best in him. Shane and Mulop both have soft spots for each other.

Feliandor-Shane parallels!

“He looked over the portrait for a moment more, and decided he didn’t see much of a resemblance” (38). Shane! Fel! Parallels! Feliandor looking at the portrait of his parents and seeing no resemblance, but seeing that as a negative thing, and Shane seeing the portrait of Fel and seeing no resemblance, but seeing that as a positive thing.

“‘So smug,’ Shane said, feeling a little smug himself” (39). Heh.

[cut because block limit]

“‘Feliandor’s soldiers all used the Bile, and none of them suffered the bonding sickness’” (39). Okay, Shane came to the right conclusion, but did nobody tell him that the bonding sickness didn't even exist before the war?

How does Shane know what a talisman even is? Isn’t that some sort of secret?

The idea of the true king having the Jade Serpent is such a cool concept, and having the talisman be in the throne as a very literal interpretation of that is kind of interesting, because it kind of symbolizes how frivolous and material Kovo saw being king of Stetriol as. By “true king” he literally meant “guy who sits on the throne”, instead of something like “had the qualities of a king”.

“Would that mean Gar was the true king of Stetriol?” (41). See, this is what I mean. The narrative implies that having the talisman equals being the true king, even though that’s just what Zerif says.

Shane tries to save the kangaroo! That’s such a cool symbolism moment, representing how he truly just had good intentions.

“But there were no jackals in Stetriol” (43). Throwback moment.

“He refused, too, to admit that his wife had been sick” (44). Why did the king marry a woman with bonding sickness, anyway?

“But when his daughter . . . was similarly stricken, something in the king has snapped” (44) and “‘But the real trouble happened when he decided he could cure himself . . . He killed his own spirit animal’” (45) imply that the king killed his spirit animal around the time Drina got the sickness. It’s interesting how the combination of the death of a spirit animal and the bonding sickness compound on one another instead of canceling each other out. 

“‘ . . . I’d have to admit that the king is . . . unfit. That Stetriol is without a true leader’” (44). Not really anything wrong with that, though? He could just claim his position as leader.

Zerif refers to Shane as “Prince Shane”!!!

So Shane knew the entire story of what happened except the part about the Greencloaks having the Nectar. And that’s the turning point. That’s the moment he goes from being innocent to . . . not so much. 

Kovo’s message being so literal is perfect symbolism for how Shane saw being king as a surface-level thing. Just have a powerful spirit animal and no sickness and you’ll be a great ruler! Never mind any other qualities a king may need!

“The sense of triumph he experienced in that moment . . . ” (46). This reminds me of how he’s described to have “cold triumph” in his eyes during the showdown on Muttering Rock.

“ . . . bracing himself for her verbal abuse” (46). It’s so sad how he got used to that, though, even though he knew it wasn’t her fault.

“The curse had been broken” (47). Ironic.

“Shane stood on the beach that night and watched his sad little handmade boat go up in flames” (47). Symbolism for destruction of innocence, me thinks. The boat was made out of his childhood playhouse.

It’s so interesting how Shane didn’t get a real spirit animal, unlike Fel. Just thinking about how in another nation, he’d have been the only one in his family to not live up to expectations.

“He felt neither. But while their eyes were averted, he allowed himself a furtive smile” (48). Sort of makes me think that Shane’s morals immediately going out the window is about the destruction of his innocence more than him finally realizing it was an option to kill his father.

“What kind of person would want a spirit animal? A ruler, thought Shane. A king.” (48). This is what I meant when I said that Shane saw very shallow things as qualities of a good ruler rather than actual good qualities.

“Shane dreamed he’d bonded with a crocodile” (48). Ohohohohooho. 

“The creature had drowned one man and maimed two others before it had been subdued” (48). Kind of reminds me of that scene in Blood Ties where Shane sacrifices his own soldier to save Abeke. He doesn’t care who’s loyal to him.

“He woke slowly from an untroubled sleep” (49). Unlike the past two years . . . 

Also this story proves that Zerif’s jackal was a natural spirit animal . . . but we know he took the Bile. We also know after the war, it runs away, but wouldn’t their bond have been natural by that point? How did it leave him?

Vendetta

“The war was over, and he’d won it” (55). Gotta love the stark contrast between this section and the next one (Vengeance).

“But who needed to tell them apart anymore? What was the point of borders, anyway? It all belonged to him now” (55). Shane being up high symbolism for his ego?

“They’d both been lying for a very long time, hiding their true natures, like a crocodile hides beneath the surface of the water, waiting to strike” (56). The crocodile-Shane symbolism is just such a cool thread. It represents his corruption and redemption beautifully.

“The days he’d spent on the boat with Abeke had been … Well, they had been a pleasant respite from months of war” (56). I love how subtle this book is with Shane’s feelings for Abeke. You just get these little gems throughout that show how much he does truly care for her and how much it did hurt to betray her.

I like how it’s shown very clearly how hard the Greencloaks tried to fight to get the talismans back. Like they didn’t just give up hope at the end of Rise and Fall like the narrative suggests. No, they still tried to get them back. And they very nearly did.

“‘Have a care!’ Shane shouted. ‘Lose me and you lose the talismans’” (58). The ego that drips off of Shane in this section is just. Wow, this guy really talked back to a Great Beast. It’s honestly so well done.

“If there was one thing Shane couldn’t stand, it was feeling powerless. He’d had enough of that back in Stetriol. But he hadn’t truly been powerless in a long time. Not since he’d drunk the Bile and joined Zerif in his campaign against the Greencloaks” (58). I kind of want to know what Zerif’s motive in all this is? Why does he hate the Greencloaks? This is a great way of tying Shane pre-corruption and Shane post-corruption, though.

“‘Why not? Let them come in force,’ Shane scoffed. ‘I took them on single-handedly. What chance would they have against my army?’” (59). Shane is such an egoistic little bitch in this section, it's hilarious.

“‘You would not wish to displease Gerathon.’ ‘I know that,’ Shane spat. His face grew warm despite the blustery wind. ‘I know that well’”  (59). Ohhhhhhhh.

Shane’s fear of spiders parallels Meilin’s fear of spiders. They both started hating spiders during the same incident (Drina getting murdered by her own spirit animal). And Shane’s ego in this section perfectly matches Meilin’s near the beginning of the series, as well. 

“ . . . the most beautiful to Shane’s eye was the leopard of amber. It seemed to glow with its own inner light” (62). Well, warning that I’m about to read into this way more than the author probably meant for me to. The talisman is almost definitely symbolism for Abeke. It says “to Shane’s eye” meaning that objectively, the talisman probably doesn’t look that much better than the other talismans. Just like how, objectively, Abeke looks pretty average, but to Shane she’s more than that. It also says there’s an “inner light” which implies something that shines from within, not necessarily anything physical to see. Just like how Abeke has an inner charm. Also, the obvious leopard-Abeke symbolism.

Why does Shane have a vial of Bile??? Why would he need that???

“Kovo’s Obsidian Ape likewise enhanced his vision, but in a subtly different way than the falcon did” (65). I wonder how the Greencloaks got their hands on Kovo’s talisman and why they never used it before.

“[The Amber Leopard] made him feel at ease in this Niloan jungle Uraza had once called home. It was simply the most practical choice, he told himself” (66). Mhm.

“They had trusted their neighbors. That had apparently been a mistake” (67). Love the detached, almost unreliable way this is narrated. Out of context, you would think that Shane was not the one responsible for all the destruction.

“‘You killed me, whether you meant to or not. And that,’ he said, ‘is your nature’” (69). Probably more about Drina, honestly, not Gar.

“ . . . Shane jolted awake . . . ” (69). Hmmmm. So that didn’t go away then.

“Conor and Rollan had almost bragged about it when they’d told him” (70). Wow, Shane is an unreliable narrator.

“He was completely cut off from his sword, the talismans were a hopeless tangle on the floor . . . ” (71). This is why he should’ve kept the talismans on his person.

“ . . . feigning innocence before he remembered that he was in fact innocent” (73). Wow. Shane corruption arc go brrrrrr.

“The village, he decided, must have been protecting Greencloaks. It was the only explanation for the savagery with which the Conquerors had descended” (73). Wow, Shane really is such a manipulative ass in this section, and I love it. 

[cut because block limit]

“ . . . he couldn’t bring himself to pose as a Greencloak” (74). Shane’s ego is really getting in his own way, like my guy. Come on.

“ . . . Shane couldn’t leave him alone in the jungle. Could he?” (75). Reading on a bit further, you can tell that Shane kind of really doesn’t care about Achi and only takes him because he’s useful as a guide.

“But he knew what question Achi was waiting to hear, and he asked it” (78). Shane is manipulative and charming as hell.

“‘Abeke?’ Shane called, louder this time. ‘Abeke, if you’re out there, I can explain everything’” (80). God, I want to know what he would’ve said. Like think about the possibilities. 

“Shane made an involuntary gurgling sound” (81). THAT’S SO FUNNY.

Shane giving the Amber Leopard to Achi cements the Achi-Abeke parallels, in my head.

“He climbed even more nimbly now that he wore Abeke’s talisman - Uraza’s talisman, Shane corrected himself” (82). Ohhhh, so he does think of it as Abeke’s. 

“‘Did you ever hear the story about how the goanna and the perentie got their coloring?’” (83). Kinda wanna hear that one.

“Kovo escaped, but he lost the tail to the cats” (85). I wanna say, it’s pretty unlikely that this story actually happened in canon, because as seen in Tales of the Great Beasts, Uraza did actually like Kovo before they were enemies, saying that it unsettled her that he would work with murderers and calling him her neighbor. But a cute story nonetheless.

Also the story is kind of foreshadowing in its own sense, since in it Kovo is manipulative, but is still defeated in the end. 

“But that was the beauty of the Bile, wasn’t it? No one could resist it in the end. Not even stubborn, foolhardy Drina” (86). Foolhardy??? It’s still unclear whether Drina was in on the plan to get herself killed. In fact, it’s unclear whether Shane knew that the plan was to get Drina killed. 

“He didn’t need to bribe Achi, and he didn’t need to bully him either” (87). Well, at least Shane still has a shred of decency in this section.

“‘She was no Greencloak. She wasn’t even Marked’” (88). Wow, the Conquerors are straight-up stupid. How dumb do you have to be to realize that a non-Marked person means you got the wrong person??? And how dumb is Achi’s dad to gamble that they’d be that dumb?

“In [the jackal’s] jaws was a bloody crown, forged in the shape of a snake devouring its own tail’” (88). Wow, foreshadowing for Zerif’s betrayal for sure.

“‘He got the cats to stop fighting. He saved the day!’” (89). It’s ironic because Shane is clearly paralleling himself, but also he’s the one that started a fight in real life. 

“He was Uraza, and he was home” (91). Kinda cute, if you ignore the context.

“Not that it would have been a very strategic choice with a man-eating cat bearing down on him” (92). Right, but he’s used to sifting through talismans while running. He’s done it several times before in this section. Yes, he’s carrying Achi, but he’s also got Uraza’s talisman to take care of him while he searches. 

“‘And I lost the man I - a good man, Tarik’” (93). Well, that’s about as close to canon as we’ll get.

“‘I haven’t killed anyone,’ Shane growled” (93). Someone needs to teach this guy that killing can be indirect. And also, I don’t think that’s true. There are several battles that he’s been in, so I feel like it’s unrealistic to say he’s never killed anyone.

“‘So high and mighty. Not against sending an assassin after me, though, are they?’” (93). Yeah??? This is a war??? They’re gonna send someone after you, duh. Bro, what kind of logic is that???

“He acted quickly, and replaced the Amber Leopard with Kovo’s Obsidian Ape” (94). Kind of showing him throwing his morals out the window, since he was so repelled by the Obsidian Ape earlier.

“Black and white. Precisely how the Greencloaks saw the world” (95). As if you don’t??? My guy???

“‘Achi, it’s okay,’ Shane said quickly. ‘Grahv won’t hurt you’” (95). Wonder how true that would be if Lishay had called his bluff . . . 

“Shane had given him Jhi’s talisman and carried him all the way here despite the ache in his limbs” (96). Why did Shane carry him? Achi should’ve been healed? And why did Achi let Shane carry him?

“ . . . Shane turned to Achi and winked . . . ” (97). Bitch, he really tried that??? Like unironically??? I’m laughing. Man, I’m laughing so fucking hard.

“He tried to grasp at a fleeting sensation of victory, but it slipped through his fingers and was gone” (97). Kind of like how his victory over the Greencloaks in this section is short-lived and he lost anyway.

Vengeance

The quote. I’m sobbing.

“‘You won. We lost. Do you have to rub it in?’” (103). My guy. Do you know how war works???

“There was real hatred there. Real hunger for revenge” (103). Shane trying desperately to convince himself he’s not as much in the wrong as he is is simply splendid.

“‘Don’t play innocent with me,’ Shane countered. ‘I wrote the book on that particular trick . . . ’” (105). Paralleling the previous section?

“But he could always get more money” (106). How???

“‘Deadly?’ Shane echoed. ‘A frog?’” (107). Does he seriously not know about the whole bright-colors-warn-predators thing??? Huh . . . 

Why does he have a vial of Bile on him??? That is so weird.

“‘They came close, though,’ Shane said, fighting to keep his voice steady” (108). Not him still trying desperately to stroke his own ego.

“ . . . hoarded so jealously over the years” (108). One thing I notice across several books in this series is that whenever they talk about the Greencloak-Nectar situation, they always say “hoarded jealously”. Like, variety in word choice is not a thing apparently.

“‘ . . . What sort of snake?’” (109). This section is so appealing because of the mystery aspect. 

“But what if it didn’t stay that way? What if it could somehow do more harm? The Bile was Shane’s mess. And he was looking to clean up his messes” (110). Right, but he effectively does nothing. The Bile does lose all its power??? That’s so weird. But okay, I guess.

“ . . . stopped to trade for a bag of roasted nuts . . . ” (110). Where did he get the money??? He just gave it all away?

“‘You sound just like a snake I used to know’” (111). Yumaris???

Where is Shane getting the money to hire Anya??? Like huh???

Also Anya is described in an incredibly similar fashion to Anka. Like. I can see how you might get the two mixed up.

“As Shane’s parents and sister grew sicker, he was left entirely to her whims” (113). The relationship between Shane and Yumaris is so interesting and kind of contradictory in some places. 

The whole conversation about tools is probably a reference to Venom, when Yumaris insists that Shane needs many tools . . .

“If this year of war had taught him anyway, it was how much he’d taken for granted as a prince” (115). This is directly contradictory to his statement in Vendetta about how he’s not pampered despite being a prince. Character development or something, I guess. 

“‘“Bushmaster” is a code. And it leads to that jungle temple’” (117). How does he know that??? Is it something Yumaris taught him???

Feel like the venom-poison-snake-frog thing is symbolism for Shane and Yumaris. Shane is a snake, who’ll hurt you by himself, but for Yumaris to hurt you, you have to interact with her first.

“‘The bright colors are a warning to predators: I am dangerous and I taste bad. Stay away.’ ‘Sort of like a Greencloak,’ Shane said under his breath” (119). LOL.

“‘We don’t have bears here.’ ‘Tell that to the bear!’” (120). I love them, Your Honor. 

[cut because block limit]

“Outside of Stetriol, they were supposed to pretend he was no more than their commander’s nephew” (121). Even the Conquerors that aren’t Stetriolan know that???

“‘I’m thinking we throw Soyland to the bear and she lets us go’” (123). I’m with Anya there, not gonna lie.

“‘The bear was a victim in all this. Poisoning her isn't right’” (124). Redemption arc Shane go brrrrr. 

“‘“Bushmaster” was what we called this operation. We- We named them all after snakes’” (124). Oh, so that’s how he knew.

Also, what was the operation specifically?

I get that they have a common enemy, but Anya doesn’t react with much ferocity toward Shane’s reveal. Like. They haven’t even known each other that long.

“But there was no point in turning down the man’s gratitude, and he accepted it with a curt nod” (127). Yes. Yes, there is??? Yes, there is.

“Shane wondered briefly how many young men and women of Stetriol had marched into battle across Erdas” (127). Oh, so they are from Stetriol. Interesting. 

“Each and every drop was a drop made by their hands” (129). Wow, the paranoia starts already.

“And then there was Yumaris, who made an unusual choice” (130). Okay, so if Yumaris hadn’t already been bonded to her worm before, then how did she know the future before taking Bile? It said she spoke of the future like the past, so was she just making that up???

“Alone among the kings and queens of Stetriol. Food for worms, all of them” (131). I guess you can never really escape your fate, even if you become great.

“‘Sir,’ said Lovvorn. ‘Sire!’ said Alix. ‘Idiot,’ said Anya” (136). Cackling.

“‘Did she tell you I have a weak spot for girl archers? Did she think I’d be more likely to trust you if you reminded me of someone I care about?’” (137). Ooooooooh. Kicking my feet at the subtle references to Abeke.

Shane blaming Yumaris for Drina’s death as if he isn’t the one that came up with the plan in the first place is so damn blame-shifty. (He came up with it right? Feel like that hasn’t been confirmed, only heavily implied.)

“‘Gerathon was going to kill one of you that day. By stepping in when I did, I ensured it wasn’t you’” (140). Why was Gerathon going to kill one of them??? I thought it was Drina, so the plan could go . . . well, according to plan. But it really seems like Shane and Yumaris had no idea Drina was going to be killed??? So what was the original plan exactly???

“‘I wish I could see for myself how you’ve grown’” (140). Awwww.

“‘The world above will need a protector who can walk the line between good and evil’” (141). Why do they need to be evil???

What happens to Anya after this? Does she just go back? Do they ever talk again? Does she know Shane eventually dies?

Venture

“‘I’m not here to cause trouble Maddox’” (148). Why are they immediately antagonistic??? I literally don’t remember shit about this. 

“ . . . Abhay wasn’t from Stetriol - and he didn’t have an obvious grudge” (149). Wait. Are the men mad because Shane lost the war? Or something different?

“‘I am Maddox’s king’” (149). He just said it didn’t bother him to not be called a king like a page ago.

“‘People said that, at the end, you fought alongside the Greencloaks’” (149). How do people even know that? It happened at the Evertree, and nobody else was there.

“‘For us, the war never ended’” (151). Huh.

“Shane dreamed he summoned a wolf . . . he knew he’d never be alone again” (151). This is kind of heartbreaking, in a way. Like he’s been alone his whole life and only because of war is he making friends. And never ones that he really keeps.

“Others called him a traitor” (153). For fighting with Greencloaks in the end?

“She had a special knack for pointing out Shane’s shortcomings, and pride ranked high on the list” (154). She’s not wrong. Even in The Burning Tide, when Shane is trying to redeem himself, he wants to impress Abeke more than anything else.

“But, oh, how he wanted to trash this guy” (154). Yeah, me too, honestly. He doesn’t appear to be the most open-minded.

“Shane could swear the figure was wearing a crown” (155). Why is he watching her during a fight, anyway??? Like, dude???

“Shane dreamed he summoned a panda. The animal wrapped him in its arms” (155). Awwww.

“‘The dirt is no place for pride, my king’” (156). If Shane wanted to help himself, shouldn't he have gotten up and not laid pathetically in the dirt?

“‘A natural bond. We grew up together’” (157). I wonder what Viktor thinks of Bile bonds in general. He grew up in Stetriol, so he’d probably be pretty torn.

Okay, so he thanks Shane for the Bile, but also wouldn’t he find it somewhat repulsive, seeing as he has a good bond with his own spirit animal?

“ . . . held no medicinal properties as far as Shane or Yumaris could discover” (159). I wish they’d shown more of Shane and Yumaris working together.

“Shane dreamed he summoned a falcon . . . He was untouchable” (160). Paralleling his ego?

“Here, at last, were the true warriors” (161). How were they picked? 

“‘See now, Karmo? I said you’d get the hang of this’” (162). Is Karmo being forced? Maybe because of his merging with his animal? But that’s a secret, right?

“He did, however, wear a tight bandage around his left forearm” (162). Oop, Shane got him.

[cut because block limit]

The woman with the nickname “Greenslayer” needs a backstory of her own.

Why did Yeffa not want Karmo to help Viktor??? There’s a reason, right?

“It was clear who they held responsible for the outcome of the war” (164). Yep, that’s it.

“Shane wasn’t wholly surprised when Karmo made a break for it later that night” (165). Why didn’t Karmo do that earlier, though?

“‘Shane as in Shane the Reptile King? Devourer Shane?’ ‘It’s just Shane these days’” (167). Shane’s humor’s at its finest when it’s unintended.

“‘King Shane is a no-good snake’” (168). The snake symbolism thread is just *chef’s kiss*

“Who would want to keep so many smelly, scaly reptiles on display?” (169). It’s ironic how Shane is the self-proclaimed Reptile King, yet hates reptiles in reality. Almost like he hates himself from the start.

“‘Zerif chose some real lowlifes. Devin was a bully. Ana was a thief. And Tahlia, the girl from Stetriol? She was downright vicious. We were all afraid of her’” (171). Kind of wonder where Ana’s from. Like, what’s her story? Maybe she was a thief because of circumstance, like Rollan.

“Faced with such devastation, Shane had decided that day that he would activate their secret asset in the next battle. Let the Greencloaks hurt one another for a change” (171). It’s almost funny how jealous he sounds. 

“‘My tribe has never had a Rain Dancer. That means we get less respect in Nilo than the insects and grubs’” (172). But Abeke’s tribe was the same before she was declared Rain Dancer, right? It doesn’t really seem like respect was Abeke’s tribe’s main problem.

“‘Finally getting called a hero, and it’s for all the wrong reasons’” (172). I think even if Karmo had succeeded in the Rumfuss mission, he’d probably have come around anyway in the end. Like he has now.

“‘The Reptile Queen?’ ‘That’s what she calls herself.’ Shane felt a weight in the pit of his stomach . . . It was the feeling he got whenever something bad was happening - and that it was his fault” (173). Oh, he figured it out immediately.

“Shane dreamed he summoned a leopard . . . And he knew he had been forgiven for all he’d done wrong” (174). Oh my God, I’m actually gonna start crying. This like. Perfectly encapsulates the tragedy of Abeke and Shane. Like Abeke forgives him but at the cost of his own life.

“‘The snake is you, if it wasn’t clear’” (176). God, this guy is stupid.

“Shane had once worn that crown . . . ” (178). How did she get her hands on Stetriol’s crown?

Okay, but how did Tahlia survive??? How did she get off the docks?

Shane didn’t know what the execution method was going to be, and didn’t have a plan for dealing with it. Which means that if they had just been planning on running him through with a sword or something, he’d have been screwed. Like, wow, that was straight-up stupid of him.

“One of the tattooed islanders lay unconscious at their feet, while the second one stood at the edge of the tree line, pleading with a huge emu . . . ” (182). Yeah, gettem. This means that the brothers are Piri and Timone. Which means they didn’t change and are still both corrupted as fuck. Nice to see that Timone has regressed with his spirit animal bond.

“She wouldn’t let go of her knives any more than she would let go of her hate” (184). It’s giving Conor and Cordelia in that final battle.

“‘The war is over!’ he cried” (186). Aww.

“‘But this time, we’ll be fighting on the right side’” (186). Shane’s redemption arc is so perfectly started in this book. I will never not be angry that he and Abeke never sat down after they met up again and had a genuine conversation about their feelings.

Final thoughts and rating (doing the negatives first this time):

Zerif and Yumaris’s bonds are weirdly inconsistent. Zerif’s bond is natural, seeing as he was bonded even before finding the Bile, so how come his jackal ran away? It can’t do that, can it? And Yumaris had a Bile bond, but had her powers even before she was bonded? So that’s sort of a plot hole. I also felt the last two stories were slightly more off-putting than the first two. They felt strange in terms of tone, which I get that they were supposed to be, but the resolutions to those sections felt so weirdly rushed. While I did enjoy getting to see what happened to Tahlia, she’s just such a weird villain. I can’t imagine her having enough finesse to put together an entire army, the way she screams at Shane and the way she doesn’t take his hand at the end. With Shane, you can see that he’s smart and careful and manipulative, but with Tahlia, I just have such a hard time believing she could stop acting like a child long enough to put together a two-hundred-person army. Anya was a strange character. I liked her while reading, but her ending was so out-of-place. 

Most of the negatives of the book are nit-picks, because there’s almost nothing wrong with this book, in my opinion. First of all, the parallels. They’re so good. I feel like Nick Eliopulos has such a different writing style, one that favors symbolism and parallels and other analyzation things over the story itself. It was really fun trying to find them all and made my reread almost as fun as the original. Also the Easter eggs??? Like the Piri and Timone thing, or the several hints about Abeke. It was fantastic. The story really rewards you for paying attention to the main series and this book. First two stories were at their best, with the backstory and the Shane-snake-crocodile symbolism. The complicated relationships in Shane’s life were also written so well, such as Drina and Yumaris. It’s clear that Shane both hated and loved both of them. It also shows why he cared for Abeke so much, seeing as that was one relationship that didn’t feel as complicated to him, at least in the beginning. Exploration of the Bile was done well, too. We can see that Timone, for example, is still bonded, because his bond was originally natural, but Piri’s killer whale apparently left him. Getting Karmo’s backstory was also a highlight. And it paves the way for Devin;s story in Tales of the Fallen Beasts. And Shane the unreliable narrator. Excellently done. His pride being his “fatal flaw”, so to speak? And that being a thread that carried the entire book? It was astonishingly well done. I could see it even when it wasn’t explicitly said. Shane as a character carries this book on his back. He is such an excellent protagonist (anti-hero?) to follow, and it makes me wish we’d gotten more page time of him in the main series, as well as more chapters from his perspective. He’s so smart, and the places where he’s figuring things out or using his wits just make him even better. This book is the one that made Shane my favorite character because he’s just written with so much depth and this book does a spectacular job of humanizing him. 

Rating: 10/10

#draeyem rereads spirit animals #the book of shane #spirit animals series #spirit animals books #sa spoiler #shane #zerif #yumaris #drina #achi #abeke #anya #alix #stead #karmo #jolt #viktor

[h8ani]

Prompt List

Hello everyone! This is just a little thing I’ve decided to do to get back into writing after so long! Feel free to request as much as you’d like! Just make sure to double check who and what I write for beforehand! You can find it in my rules tab! Feel free to use 1-2 prompts per request if you’d like! and let me know what type of request you'd like (angst, smut, fluff)

"As if you would ever cross my fucking mind."

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you"

“Oh - don’t fucking do that.”

"Shut up and kiss me."

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit, c’mere.”

“Hey, hey, shhhh. Shhhh. You’re okay.”

“You did so good. Don’t worry, you-you did so good.”

“No. No, stop. Stop talking like that. You’re gonna be fine.”

“I know, I know it hurts.”

"You just watched them die."

"This is going to hurt, okay?"

"Stop. No. Wake up. Wake up! I said wake up!"

"I came as soon as I heard."

“Shit. Shit, that’s a lot of blood.”

“You dumbass. Don’t do that. Ever again.”

"It was supposed to be me... please, no, (y/n), please..."

“You? kill me? that's funny.”

"if you can't figure it out by now, then i don't have anything else to tell you." 

"I am done. I'm done waiting for you."

"I've been following you around like a lost puppy since the day we met, yet you couldn't see?"

"Why do I keep doing this to myself..."

"Is that what you wanted to hear? are you happy?"

"How can you not know, i made it so obvious!" "Clearly, you didn't make it that clear!"

“it’s a bit frustrating to how oblivious you are.”

“You deserve someone who would treat you right.” “Who might that be?” “… how about me?”

Character b going on and on about how they never find someone, and character a is just looking at them ready to snap. “You just got to be fucking kidding me, right?”

“Promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up.”

“You’re not as bad as everyone says you are.”

"You can kiss me, you know."

“The only one who gets to kill you, is me. “

“Ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. “

“It’s okay, you can touch me. I won't break.”

“Enemies make the best lovers, you know.”

“You treat all your ladies like this?”

“You look really pretty right now.”

“You'd look better down on your knees.”

“Why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood?”

“It’s none of my business, but… Are you guys okay? It’s been a while since I last saw you together.”

“You already are a handful. Together, you guys are insufferable.”

“You left and I stayed. You never looked back to see if I was still there.”

Person A and Person B were always close, but the closeness was soon questioned by everyone. The question was, what were they? Friends or something more? 

“So, tell me, what do you feel for me?” “You know the answer. You know it all.” “I want to hear you say it. It’s now or never.” 

“They hurt you, despite knowing what I would do.” 

“Look we can settle this matter in peace, right?” “Not when it comes to you. They should’ve thought about who exactly they were hurting.” 

“Is this what we do now? Making out and then never talking about it? Great!”

“You know what? I’m done with this. I’m done with you, I’m done with us. I can’t do it anymore.”

“You know, you could’ve at least said a last goodbye.” They say accompanied by a sad humorless chuckle.

"It feels like...like I'm here with you, but I'm also not here because my present-self is still haunted by my past self, past you, past us."

"You should've at least told me why you thought I was better without you. But, no, you just left, like I didn't matter to you. Like, it was only you that needed to make decisions for both of us."

“What are we?” “Good old pals who don’t want to admit their feelings for each other. That’s what we are.”

"You've changed."

"I needed you."

"I love you." "I can't. We can't."

"Let's just keep distance between us, yeah?" "No."

"You don't have to kiss me. Just a peck will be fine, at least to convince my parents."

"Can you put on a smile? You look like you're ready to dig your own grave." "For a matter of fact, I am."

"Kiss me." "What? We don't have to pretend right now." "I know, but I need one right now."

"I fucking knew this would happen." "Well then, you shouldn't have believed me so much."

"Let's go back to the way it was, yeah? We could pretend this never happened."

"I loved you." "I wanted to ruin you."

“You should let me go. Let us go. There is nothing to hold on between us.”

“Don’t cry. Please. I can’t see you like this.”

"You know I'll never love you, right? I'm doing this just so my parents don't disown me."

"So, what's going on between you and [name] recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden."

"Let's not forget that you have a partner who needs all your attention before any of your friends do."

“We were immature back then, weren’t we?” “Yeah, yeah. We definitely were.”

“you're mine, and i take care of what belongs to me.”

“Do you really think you’re in a position to give orders?”

“We're going to fuck right here? what if someone sees us? “

“You keep your hands where they are or i'll tie them up.”

“You want gentle? wrong fucking address.”

“We both know how much you're going to enjoy this.”

“So good for me. look how much you came.”

“I'm going to put that mouth of yours to good use.”

"Tell me it was a lie. tell me you're playing with me right now."

“Do I look like I’m messing around? Do I look like I won’t punish you?”

“Move an inch and you won’t be coming tonight.”

“You’re so in for it when we get home.”

“Stay still, don’t move your hips.”

“Do you know what happens when you misbehave?”

“I said I’d take care of you, did you think I wouldn’t follow through on that?”

“I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.”

“Shh, just look at me, baby.”

“Where did this attitude come from?”

“You know, I could always get you off right here, right now.”

“Why are you being so gentle with me? I like it when you’re rough.”

“It’s hot when you talk back.”

“I know what I like, I know my limits.”

“Be good for me and I’ll untie you.”

“Just relax for me, I’ll make it feel good.”

“Jealousy seems to be a great motivator for you.”

"How do you feel about adding another person to the mix?"

"You'd better be quiet if you don't want to get caught."

"Are you sure that's what you want? I could really hurt you."

"If you're going to act like a little brat then I'm going to treat you like a little brat."

"I don't care how good it feels you'd better not cum until I tell you to."

"You'd better watch your fucking mouth."

"You keep acting like a little brat and I'll take you over my knee right here, I don't care how many people are watching."

"When we get home I'm cuffing you to the bed and going down on you all night until my jaw is sore."

"Well, since you want to cum so badly, why don't we see how many times I can make you cum right now."

#prompt #prompts #prompt list #anime prompt #anime prompts #anime prompt list #prompt event #anime prompt event #Drabble #drabbles #Drabble list #anime Drabble #anime drabbles #anime Drabble list #anime Drabble event #Naruto prompt #Naruto Drabble #Naruto prompt event #Naruto #aot #attack on titan #attack on Titan prompt #attack on Titan Drabble

[teotalksaboutstuff]

Danganronpa Despair Time Chapter 2: Episodes 3, 4, and 5

Episode 3

-so no teruko traitor reveal? pog 

-monotv’s incompetence makes him my favorite host of any killing game. reminds me a lot of danganronpa: safety’s on, basically DR1 but Monokuma is about as incompetent as MonoTV is. it’s a great read, highly reccommended.

-teruko being bad at caulking a bathroom is so me. also of course monotv isn’t going to reveal the information but him not knowing it himself is interesting.

-hey, nice caulk.

-people changing clothes being this big thing is very funny

-charles’ straight up phobia of blood is uh... there’s clearly something deeper going on here

-teruko, put the fucking knife away. as much as it’s within reason that you’d be this paranoid, this does make you look like you are trying to murder Charles here, at least to him.

-id love to know whose motive Charles had, now that Teruko’s got it.

-loving charles and teruko actually being friends of some sort now that their positions have basically reversed since chapter 1.

-Chiteruko? i actually like the idea of those three as a polycule and want to see more whit/teruko interactions.

-MonoTV jumping on charles XD

-teruko playing with cacti i literally cannot???? best scene in chapter 2 by FAR

-living for the eden jumpscare here

-THE EDEN GREMLIN SPRITE MAKES ITS APPEARANCE. GOD I LOVE HER.

-Eden’s hope speech is also iconic. Her knowing the world is kinda fucked but still being kind anyways is something Teruko clearly needed to hear.

Episode 4

-what is the tea

-the gurlz are fighting

-naur

-teruko sandwich duck face

-ace markey, the ultimate allistic

-by all rules of danganronpa arei should have died here, and i am so grateful monotv isn’t competent enough to actually enforce the rules but at the same time is arei the mastermind? ofc he wouldn’t kill the mastermind.

-veronika living for the fights is also very me

-’you’ve been acting jerkishly as well’ eden she is literally being deadnamed and STALKED are you blind. J is 100% in the right here.

-nico fucking roasting ace is funny, and i get why he’d think its constructive criticism because i too am autistic and would think much the same.

-see, veronika gets it

-when death threats are the only way to properly resolve an argument

-arei lashing out at monotv is iconic tbh

-jesus christ arei yeah that reaction is a sensible one given your circumstances

-”hey, just so you know, failed hanging attempts are pretty painful” teruko wtf, im not entirely sure how that was intended to be helpful?

-we know what the tea is

-the gurlz are still fighting

-naur

-teruko has 99 problems and these bitchez aren’t about to be number 100

-charles making cucumber flowers is iconic

-DAVID YES YOU STEP IN THERE AND HELP THEM

-yeah people are gonna be... super hesitant about the motive secret thing, and teruko defo needs to talk to the person whose motive was originally charles’ as well as rose, whose she has

-see, j at least has the decency to ask the person before telling their secret

-eden has a dude’s motive secret evidently, maybe levi’s? that would be significant.

-who is the someone they’re inviting

Episode 5

-Arei’s typical ew reaction to everything, unsurprising. Makes sense she’d want to talk about motive though given her position.

-Granted leaving Arei out was before Xander died but nO AREI YOU ARE BECOMING A WORSE TERUKO LIKE AM I THE ONLY ONE NOTICING THE PARALLEL HERE OR AM I SEEING THEM WHERE THERE ARENT ANY?

-Teruko’s reaction being what it is does not surprise me.

-MORE AREI GREMLIN SPRITES WOOT

-oh wow arei actually wasn’t bluffing when she said she had nothing to hide

-is _ illegal nahhhh let arei be a girlboss yall just dont want to see women win

-teruko please stop acting as if you have any moral high ground here 

-i mean unless something like this happened to you then thats another matter entirely

-the true arei trauma dump. contextualizes literally everything about her in a way that actually makes me fascinated with her as a wonderfully complex character. 

-naturally this would develop into a philosophy where kindness is weakness, yeah

-DAVREI??? FUCK YES I SHIP IT!!

-ah, rose time

-yass art therapy, but i can understand why teruko was so freaked out by it

-in all fairness i dont know how you would respond to someone saying the stuff rose was about teruko

-TERUKO THATS LIKE SAYING I HATE YOU TO AN ARTIST?? LIKE CMON TERUKO YOU ARE MAKING IT REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DEFEND YOU THIS CHAPTER

-naturally, rose is fine with the secret coming out. she even has her own trauma dump scene with teruko

-i mean we been knew that teruko didn’t actually mean any of that and now rose maybe does?

-nico was mother for that tbh

-please don’t forget him down there ;-;

-the implication that nico actually likes the teruko gore art is an interesting one

-loving how nico wants rose to teach him painting omg

#danganronpa despair time

[i-just-wanna-be-fuckin-happy]

Practice Taking EVERYTHING Less Personally

It would be unfair to say “nothing is personal” without giving you a way to practice that in your life. That would be like giving you the keys to your own Rolls-Royce but neglecting to tell you where I parked your ride. I’m not a monster. Get out your journal. Again, yes, you have to get a GD journal. Choose one clean page.

Identify a relationship where you are feeling stung and like shit is v. v. v. personal. Write the person’s name at the top of the page. Is it a boss who keeps promising a promotion but every six months the goalpost seems to be farther down the field? Is it your friend who only ever calls to heap her emotional baggage onto your waiting lap? You never hear from her in good times, but you ALWAYS know when there is a crisis. When she starts talking, you begin scrolling through Amazon because you know you’re going to be there awhile without being asked a single question. Is it someone you recently started dating where everything seemed like it was going GREAT (five dates in two weeks; are we getting married?!) and out of nowhere he texted you that he started seeing his ex-girlfriend and “doesn’t see this going anywhere”? What relationship are you taking personally rn? This can be some ancient shit too. An ex-boss, an ex-lover, an ex-friend, all of the exes, if you want!

Write a scene describing a time you took shit v. v. v. personally and how it felt to be hurt. What were the sensations in your body? “I thought this was the beginning of a real romance. I felt hopeful. We were talking all of the time and even had inside jokes. When he dumped me over text, I felt rejected and like a loser who would never find love. I was sitting in a café, eating twelve-dollar eggs, and all I could think was What did I do wrong? As tears streamed down my face, for all to see, I also felt like a loser/hot mess for not being able to finish my absurdly expensive eggs. THEY’RE JUST SIMPLE EGGS. WHAT HAVE YOU PUT IN THEM THAT MAKES THEM TWELVE DOLLARS?! I had no appetite at all. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt like I might throw up. I felt angry. I think that’s why I was so mad at the eggs.”

Under your scene, make a word cloud of all the words that describe how you felt. Rejected? Dumped? Taken for granted? Hopeless? Excited, for once, but now all things dashed? Woe is me? It’s okay; get it all out there.

Look at your word cloud and reframe how each one of these words is not YOUR personal fault. Sure, you feel rejected, but is that what’s really going on? Or is it clear this guy was not ready to be with you? YOU actually had nothing to do with this. You feel hopeless about future romance? But why? If anything, there is so much to hope for! You met a dude you were excited about. There are more dudes—dudes who aren’t low-key dating their exes. Look at each word and see if you can write out a reason why YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME.

Now, under your word cloud, write the following: “It’s okay that I felt the way I did, but it’s not the truth. The truth is that the way a person treated me HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. Nothing is personal. People are limited. I refuse to blame myself.” The way this person treats you is how they treat everyone. Including themselves. Your boss might not have the power to promote you, or anyone else, and that makes him feel weak. Your friend who is living crisis to crisis might not even notice that she is not so much calling to have a conversation as to give a monologue. She’s not thinking about you at all rn. She’s grasping for a lifeboat and does not have the mental space to understand that she might be dragging you down with her. The boy who dumped you prematurely didn’t really “dump” you; he’s just SO CLEARLY not the one for you. Write, “This was not personal,” until you believe it. Sometimes it helps to write, “I am not to blame,” over and over again, and every time you have a thought like Yes, you are to blame—if you were better at your job, you’d be promoted, then write next to that, “That’s crazy; my boss isn’t promoting me because he has no power. It simply doesn’t have anything to do with ME.” Keep writing, repeating, and reminding yourself that the way a person treats you has almost nothing to do with you.

How will you protect yourself going forward? This is the time to pick what your line in the sand will be, what new boundary you will set in this relationship and possibly in others. “Going forward, I will protect myself by looking for a new job. This has been going on for a year, and I don’t need to complain anymore.” “Going forward, I will try to explain to my friend that I would love her to ask more questions about my life.” “Going forward, I will protect myself by not dating a boy who tells me, up front, that he’s ‘not sweet.’ That was probably a warning sign and it turned out to be true.”

Let go of expecting the person to act differently and move on dot com. Even if you tell your friend that you often feel overwhelmed by her issues, she might not be capable of making any changes (remember, people are limited), but what’s important is that you stood up for yourself and created a boundary that you can take into the future. That’s so dope. The next time she calls, maybe don’t pick up? Or. Let her vent for ten minutes and then explain how you need to go to a “meeting.” No need to get mad at her, no need to feel hurt that she acted the exact same way she always does. It has nothing to do with you. With your well-defended borderline behind you, do yourself a HUGE favor and let go of your expectations around this relationship. What can you do to move on dot com today? Update your LinkedIn, stop expecting someone to morph into a new person, listen when someone is self-declared “not sweet.”

Just remember: Do not blame yourself. This shit ain’t personal. Would you blame yourself for bad weather? Would you blame yourself for a fire that ravaged your house? Then don’t blame yourself for how other people treat you, because you have zero control over that. Instead, the thing you have control over is how you react. And we are working on a reaction that is more loving, more kind, more generous toward yourself.

#healing #self love #self worth #you are worthy #worth it #self care #selfcare #love #law of attraction #positive

[adricthemindnimon]

Ok, the time has come for me to write out the whole thesis that’s been bubbling away in my head for years about how deeply uncomfortable I have always been about elements of how Rodney McKay was handled as a character.

I’m sure there’s more I should say, and everything will be off the top of my head, cuz I’m not looking up episodes or plot points today. But here goes

McKay is introduced as an arrogant, deeply unpleasant man, who basically exists to clash with Sam, cause drama and tension, (and also make Sam look good). Then Atlantis started, and he became a main character. I think that was a really interesting choice, and overall a very good one, because it’s sets up an incredible character arc. A regular leading character (who is one of the “good guys”) cannot be as universally hateable as Rodney was when he was just a one (or two)-off character. But you can’t just scrap who he was when you introduced him, so how do you give him the kind of growth that makes him interesting and someone people want to root for? 

In many ways Atlantis did a great job of that. The show took him way out of his comfort zone, and put him under great stress, so that he had to up his game. It isolated him long term with a limited number of people, so he had to learn some basic people skills. And in doing both those things, it pushed him to the edge and showed us (and him) that McKay had bravery and a good heart and love for his friends and the willingness to risk himself for others. He’d covered all that over with an incredibly thick layer of ego and cowardice and boorish behaviour, but when against the wall, that awfulness could be broken through and the nobler side of him could start to come out. And that was primarily made possible because the show surrounded him with people who called him on his bullshit. For the first few years especially, all the main characters held him to account and made him behave and become better.

So given that I’ve praised him so much, why am I so uncomfortable with McKay?

Two reasons. There are a few important areas we did not see him grow significantly, and at a certain point the show stopped challenging his behaviour to the same extent.

First point first: ways he kept being horrible. 

He was a ghastly boss/coworker to the science team throughout. From the first episode to the last, he refused to learn his people’s names, he belittled them and mocked their ideas and used them as scapegoats when things went badly but never gave them credit when things went well. Occasionally he feels bad about that, but usually only after someone he treated badly has died a horrible death. The show clearly wants us to feel bad for these people - especially poor Zelenka - but Rodney’s never held to account for it, and never improves. Zelenka complains about his treatment, Rodney makes a snarky joke, and we move on, feeling the scientists’ frustration, but clearly just supposed to roll our eyes and be ok with it. The overall message sent is that it’s ok that Rodney treats people badly because he’s brilliant and he’ll save the day. It’d be nice if he’d treat people better, but we have to make allowances somewhere. Honestly, Atlantis probably would have been better off without Rodney, because with him there you have one really smart person getting things done but crushing everyone around him in the process, whereas with him gone you might not have that individual star, but you’d have a lot more very smart people who could actually work properly and achieve things as a team.

The other thing that never changes is his treatment of women - he’s a serial sexual harasser. He sexually harasses Sam the first time he appears on SG-1, and it’s gross, but he’s meant to be gross then. But he keeps doing it through every single season of Atlantis. Sam alone gets harassed by him so many times - even when she’s his boss! In the sunken jumper episode he hallucinates up Sam dressed a way she would never dress, behaving a way she would never behave, and the way he talks to her makes my skin crawl. And yes I know she’s not really there, and he has a head injury, but his creepiness is played for laughs. And then Sam takes over as commander of Atlantis, and then there’s the episode where they fall down the hole. First he tells Sam to flash the boys to bribe them to help - gross - and then he tries to convince Sam and Dr. Keller to strip under the pretense of making a rope out of their clothes. Again, it’s played for laughs, and it’s just fucking gross. Sam is his BOSS. Dr. Keller is his coworker. And all three of them are in extreme danger. And he is sexually harassing both women. 

That story is also my big example of how the show starts letting him off the hook. In that episode, Rodney repeatedly sexually harasses every woman in sight. He’s so desperate to puff his ego that insists he is more competent at something he has never done before than Sam the professional soldier who does things like that every day and actively sidelines her. In doing so, he also further endangers them, starting a gas fire (that Sam has to risk injury to put out), and pulling in more dirt when Sam tells him to stop. He repeatedly tries to get out of doing the actual hard work of saving them and instead spends his time being snarky and trying to prove how smart he is. And after all that, the narrative rewards him. He’s the hero, because he got rope burn but didn’t leave Sam to die. People admire him. He gets a date with Dr. Keller. We’re just supposed to shake our heads affectionately at all of his grossness and go “Oh McKay...” 

In summary, the narrative bought into the idea of making allowances for exceptional men. He’s dreadful to his coworkers, but he’s a genius who saves the day so we’ll let him get away with that. He gets pushback for treating the main Atlantis team like that, but his non-field colleagues are apparently fair game. He’s a serial sexual harasser - and here nobody is safe, not even the main characters or the soldiers or the [insert category here], because we are consistently meant to find his sexual harassment funny, or at worst an irritation on the level of bad breath. And it’s not. And finally, while the show did a good job of calling him out for the first few seasons, after that it started letting him off the hook, and buying into the glorification of Rodney McKay, no longer treating his unpleasant attributes as things to be worked on as part of a long character arc, but instead merely quirks that should be accepted. 

A deeply flawed character like McKay is an interesting challenge, and when they write him well I really enjoy him. But I can never overlook or forget about these really gross decisions that were made in writing him.

#rodney mckay #stargate atlantis #stargate sg-1 #really long rant #I've been wanting to get this off my chest for ages