#am i a bad person

[lilyflxwers]

im holding onto the past so hard that the future is slipping right past me. how do i let go. how do i let go of all the anger.

#am i a bad person #or is part of me just rotten #is there a difference? #im in so much pain

[greencheekconure27]

To visit or not to visit relatives

A. k.a.

Mental damage or eternal guilt (you must pick one)

#personal #dilemma #i haven't seen them in a long time and i probably should (plus free trip so that's nice) #but ughhh #it would likely involve couple of days of constant criticism and at least one fight i'll need to break up #also there's the harrowing ordeal of traveling with my mother #am i a bad person

[unknown-drug]

Ok, but real question thoo.

Is it bad that I wanna be lighter than my partner?

Like I put myself in an imaginary competition of who lost more weight from week to week.

#tw ed #am i a bad person #like seriously #ana mood #ana trigger #anamia #bpd #addict #vent #tw relaspe #mental illness #does mental competition counts #mood #🕯️as a 🪶 #i wanna be weightless #bad girlfriend #ana #mia #ana and mia #tw ana diary #ana shit

[bwbawa]

sometimes i get mean thoughts that i think would be fun to say to people to see their reactions

#never do this #like for real don't #am i a bad person #i would never though #not even my actual opinions #just thoughts

[pressradio]

Consistency is the key

#am i a bad person #yes I am #do i regret it? #nah #anti sainz #anti carlos sainz

[beelzzzebub]

love how in movies even the weird kids have friends. to do boring things with. i don't want to be popular i just want to not inexplicably repel every person i meet. everyone tells you to just be yourself and eventually it'll work out but genuinely i don't know. i don't know about that. because even the weird people don't want it. too much for the normal people and too much in the wrong way for the people who say they're looking for too much so where. where is that leaving us. if there's something i'm doing wrong just tell me. please.

#if you tell me what's wrong with me i can try to fix it #am i a bad person #am i too annoying #am i boring #am i too ugly #am i too stupid #am i too big #do i take up too much space #do i just not take up enough space to be memorable #i'm too much but not in any of the interesting ways people want #not quirky or fun or interesting just fucking boring and annoying to be around #i don't contribute anything #boink

[addictedtoamphetamine]

"Well, whatever you do, however terrible, however hurtful, it all makes sense, doesn't it? In your head. You never meet anybody that thinks they're a bad person" - The Talented Mr Ripley (film)

#talented mr ripley #matt damon #am i a bad person #lolz

[es-3]

never be embarrassed to tell me anything, i have done and will do worse.

#am i a bad person #perhaps #but it makes me a less judgmental person in the process #text post #this is so kaz brekker coded ngl #kaz brekker

[konigceo]

imma be spilling some of my lore to u guys !!

tw: uhh none really. just horrible friends and horrible people :3

ok so basically i have this friend, we're gonna call her w, and she's been my friend since like 6th grade, she's my bsf. i moved middle schools bc she was going to another middle school and i literally do everything with her.

then in 7th grade i met this girl, lets call her m. i became friends with her and me, w, and m have been a trio since then. but this year, w and m became friends with 2 other girls, lets call them k and n. i knew k and n since last year. we had a few classes together. i was actually kind of friends with n at the time. we weren't best friends, but i trusted her.

m and n have a few classes together and that's how they became friends. same with w and k. they also had a couple classes together. n and k are best friends btw, they've gone to all the same schools. anyways, me, w, m, n, and k now all become friends.

i have a little bit of history with n tho. last year when i was dating my ex, i was friends with n (like i mentioned.) i trusted n and saw her as a friend, so i told her that i was dating my ex (lets call him s.) obviously i was wrong in trusting her, because she told my entire grade that i was dating s. (s was kind of popular and i wasn't, so it was kind of a big deal ig. i was an ugly loser back then lmao)

because n told everyone a SECRET, a secret that i told her to keep to herself, i didn't trust her anymore. now back to the present.

this all took place in novemeber/december of last year. anyways, k was dating a girl i knew, lets call her z. k and z dated for about 2 months before breaking up. i won't go into the specifics, but they broke up because k acted like she was dating n instead of z. mind you, k and n were best friends, and n even had a crush on k last year.

i'm friends with z, and she told me more details, but the point was that n was a homewrecker. and i honestly agree with her. n has trouble keeping things to herself and has trouble respecting people's boundaries. i really didn't like n now, not only because of the shit she did to me, but also the shit she did to z.

now, i told w and m all of this, since we were all friends. i told them that i wanted to drop k and n, especially since no one else liked k and n at this point. they were really rude to everyone else they used to be friends with. but w and m said no, and that they wanted to stay friends with k and n until they did something wrong to them.

and i was pissed at this point. but i just told them that they could stay friends with k and n, but that i wouldn't be friends with them. so i'm not. i'm trying my best to avoid k and n now. i'm spending my breaks with z and her friends, c and d. they're really nice, and i really like z a lot.

but now i have a problem. z told me that m has a crush on k, and that's why m was gonna keep on being friends with k. so i confronted m about this. i asked her if the reason she wouldn't drop k was because she liked her. and m said it was true, and that she didn't only like k romantically, but also as a friend.

now i'm fucking pissed. i'm so fucking tired of telling m the same thing over and over, that k and n are bad people, that i don't like them, that OTHER people also don't like them. that we're the only people friends with them. and m doesn't care. and i'm fucking pissed.

i'm thinking about dropping m and w. but it honestly isn't that easy. i've been friends with m and w for so long, and they know everything about me. they know my secrets, they know about this blog, everything. and i'm fucking terrified that one day, when i eventually drop m, that she'll tell someone about this blog, and that i'm a fucking loser who writes porn on the internet. i'm fucking terrified.

my parents have been thinking about moving, so that's good. i really hope that i move. that way i'll be able to get away from m and n and k. i still feel really bad though. i've been friends with w and m for so fucking long and the thought of dropping them is still so scary. i don't wanna be friends with n or k, but i still wanna be friends with w and m. especially w. she hasn't really done anything wrong, even if she doesn't care that n and k are bad people.

i don't know what to do now. i think the best for now is to move away and forget about everyone.

lmao thank you for reading this far guys !! i'm just really stressed with school work and this whole friendgroup thing. i'm so sorry for the lack of fics. i can't promise you guys anything, and i'm really sorry. i'll try to get back on track soon enough. thanks for all the support :)

#lala ⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖ #sorry for the long post #tw rant #rant post #i fucking hate n #i hate her so much #i hate her more than i hate anyone else #am i a bad person #for saying that

[luriuan]

Jesses my favorite character but like I love fics where the shit gets beat out of him and he’s incapacitated or something

#mcsm jesse #minecraft story mode #mcsm #Am I a bad person #uhh #jesse is so silly #I love him #I want to violently watch him get thrown into a wall

[potentially-a-poser]

I have such bad imposter syndrome. I met with my school’s therapist and at one point she said “yeah I just hold out hope that one day your parents will wake up as be like omg look at this awesome child we have” and I was immediately just slammed with a wave of guilt like “oh my god I’ve mislead her”.

In my head I know that I’ve never lied to her, and the only time I’ve ever not told the absolute truth is when I’ve told her about getting bullied and she asks who it was (I may be a lot of things but I’m not a snitch), or if I’ve relapsed and don’t think it was bad enough she needs to know

I got into an argument with a friend a while ago and I was telling her about it and I didn’t show her the texts but I was telling her what happened in a way that is objective as I can because I feel really bad about what I said but Im also upset about being insulted.

At one point she said “you’ve told me you were a bad person in the scenario more than you’ve told me what happened.” And after I’d finished telling her what happened she was like “I mean yeah you were rude but you have every right to be upset.” But now I’ve convinced myself I skewed the story and I’m manipulating her so that she validates me

When I got committed to a psych ward 2 years ago, before I got diagnosed with any of the depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, adhd, any of that, the psychiatrist said “you have imposter syndrome”. I’ve had another psychiatrist and 2 therapists tell me I have imposter syndrome.

I can’t tell whether I’m an actual manipulative narcissist or I’m narcissistic for thinking I could manipulate every mental health professional I’ve come in contact with. I don’t think I could trick 2 phd holding psychiatrists and five or six therapists all of who went to school for 6+ years , as well as being able to trick all my teachers into giving me good grades and college acceptance boards into letting me in, but again I feel like that’s something someone who could do that would say

Even reading back what I’ve written here it seems to me like what someone trying to manipulate people would say. I know I’m not consciously trying to manipulate people, the only time I’ve ever done that is when I was waiting tables and I was god awful at it. But again that last sentence sounds like what someone trying to manipulate ppl into thinking they can’t manipulate ppl.

I don’t know I’m just digging myself a deeper hole in my head. I feel like I’ve tricked everyone into thinking I’m a good person, or I’m smart, or I’m a hard worker.

If anyone knows what to do it would be great. The more I think about it the more confused I am

#mental health #I’ve felt guilty since I was 11 #am i a bad person #mental illness #actually mentally ill #imposter syndrome #advice #manipulation #mental heath support #mentally unstable #help my sanity #send help #manipulative #narcissistic

[juuls]

Totally just watched the Hunger Games prequel and cried my eyes out and not sure whether I am an awful person or just human.

#the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes #i cry #am i a bad person #the lady who played Lucy fucking ACED IT

[not-sure-what-im-feeling]

ive been dabbing for the sole purpose of annoying my friend. i try to when she's the only one who will see. just to fuck with her. its fun!

#am i a bad person #just some silly things #casually fucking with your friends

[flowachild]

am i taking solace in the fact that the last 2 men that played me have hairlines that are slowly receding? perhaps

#mid 20s is fun karma comin quick 🏃🏽‍♀️ #thoughts #am I a bad person

[cuckoosnestblog]

I did it again.

We went to a motel. As soon as my wrist is better, we're going to one with a pole.

#Crush #Am I a bad person #The other woman

[jinxvents]

Step away from my cage

I am a wild animal wounded and full of rage

They say I’m aggressive

That I should be put down

You caress my face so gently

With your blood fresh in my mouth

I bare my teeth

I bite the hands that feed

And I’ll whine and lick the wounds after making you bleed

I am as rabid as a dog

Yet as fragile as a fawn

I don’t want to hurt you

It’s just how I was raised

A loyal dog that was scolded instead of praised

#wip #lyric concept #jinxwrites #writing 2023 #rabid dog #trigger warning #am i a bad person #jinxkittycat #writing #work in progress #aftermath #I don’t know what to call this one #jinxvents #vent #content warning #actually traumatized #trauma #undiagnosed mental illness