#am i getting closer to that dream

[kkoct-ik]

doodle that was technically for @meowjoy 's dtiys except it just became wilbur with cat

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot fanart #dream smp #dream smp fanart #its not the cat oc sorry its actually just. my cat. whenever i draw characters with cats they get mine lmao #i know their shapes... #ty for the inspo!! i am not any closer to finishing my wips but i am glad i drew Something #kostik draws

[ride-a-dromedary]

the darkest of nights, in truth, still dazzles.

a halsin fanmix  [listen]

01. Heart of Spring - david arkenstone | 02. Cé Hé Mise Le Ulaingt? / The Two Trees - loreena mckennit | 03. Pussywillows, Cat-tails - gordon lightfoot | 04. Maybe Tomorrow - f&m | 05. Don't Stop Me Now - queen | 06. I Was Born Under a Wand'rin' Star  - bryn terfel  | 07. A Tenuous Bond - derek duke | 08. Closer - nine inch nails | 09.  Into the Darkness - jeremy soule  | 10.  Colorblind - counting crows | 11. Natural Light - ludovico einaudi | 12. Under the Greenwood Tree - royal shakespeare company | 13. The Grove - bear mccreary | 14. Blood Upon the Snow - hozier & bear mccreary | 15. A Quiet Darkness - houses | 16. Spellplague - alderfall | 17. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - jonathan antoine | 18. Only Everyone Can Judge Me - crywank | 19. Blue Skies - kathryn calder | 20. The Buzzard - old blind dogs | 21. Constant Craving - k.d. lang | 22. The Cave - mumford and sons | 23. Jim Cain - bill callahan | 24. I Won't Back Down - johnny cash | 25. The Ash Grove - laura wright | 26. The Wind - yusuf/cat stevens | 27. To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) - hozier | 28. The Logical Song - supertramp | 29. Tapestry - don mclean | 30. Big Yellow Taxi - joni mitchell | 31. Eat Your Young (Bekon's Choral Version) - hozier | 32. The Flock - david maxxim micic | 33. Changes - david bowie | 34. Ri Na Cruinne - clanaad | 35. The Moments of Happiness - ken page | 36. My Back Pages - the byrds | 37. If This Journey - tom hanford

#BG3 Musing #BG3 Fanmix #Halsin BG3 #Halsin #Halsin Posting #my fanmix #i give up this is about as done as it will ever be - i've been talking about this enough i need to get it away from me #i could have made at least one or two other playlists with the number of songs i cut from this #there were some things that hurt me to cut but i figured others had them in their playlists so they're out there #(the impossible dream you will always be famous i am so sorry :(() #i had three goals with this 1. make it more of a timeline in that it follows a narrative order (which hopefully is easy enough to follow) #(it makes sense to me about as much as it is ever going to lol) #2. try to avoid using songs that other individuals have used in their playlists (with a handful of exceptions - i highly encourage you also #take a listen to the others around! lots of good stuff and i figured if you were missing it from this one you can find another with it) #(and if i did use one the context might be different #'closer here is being used in a different way than i usually see it - it's putting more emphasis on the 'you can have my isolation' bit use #in context of the matron and patron for example) #and 3. focus as much as possible on non-romance path elements of halsin's character - i.e. again that's a topic that is highly explored #in other fanmixes to great success - this one is about the childhood he references and the adventures and the capture in the underdark #and the shadow curse and the burying of people he loved and the uptaking of the archdruid position and the healing he did #and possibly did not do #and the radicalization he comes into when his goals are met and he's faced with injustices #and the struggle he has of redefining himself and figuring out who he is after all of it #hopefully the 'eras' are clearly defined but hey it's all gravy from here #honestly if there is one song to listen to that encapsulates halsin for me it's tapestry - highly recommend that #anyway i am blabbing - let the lyrics and such talk for themselves jemi please #but if fanmixes aren't your speed have a kinda nice edit i guess

[thegreenleavesofspring]

.

#You'd think of all times I'd be having stress dreams right now‚ but I'm not actually #In fact usually my dreams are horrible things of dreadful desperate danger and darkness and blood. Losing my children‚ losing other people #who trust me to help and save them. #But they've all been things like “woman is criticizing my soap bottles” (🤨) and “there's a tornado - but it doesn't hit us actually” and #“you missed a phone call btw” #But it's not that I'm not stressed. I am. I am tied up in all sorts of knots over this pending divorce hearing. And the pending CPS case. #<- That's going to court btw. Dallas has had a full year to do the mandatory six weeks counseling and has opted not to finish it‚ so they'r #taking him to court over it to codify that he is not allowed to have anything to do with us. #Fine by me‚ him being legally prevented from having anything to do with us has always been my hope. It'll be a hassle for me having to #*also* appear in court‚ but overall a small price to pay. And it also removes my last theological objections to the divorce; #the unbelieving has chosen to depart indeed. #So! *Good* news. But also not not-stressful. #(My back is *killing* me and it gets worse the closer February 6th looms.) #On the other hand I REFUSE to worry. Because there is No. Way. that God would bring us this far just to abandon us now. #And His fingerprints are *all over* the last two years. #(I am still not precisely 'looking forward' to the court appearances.) #Anyway. Fun stuff‚ fun stuff. #Nattering into the void

[crystalpallette]

my best friend, onstage ringo, who I spent every last one of my magic gems on and pulled exactly zero of

#puyo puyo #ringo ando #my art #anyway i was (machine) translating her flavor text and monologue lines that were on nexus #and one of them said 'im getting closer to my dream' and augh i was just so emotional about it. i stayed up til 2 am to draw this #(then i went to bed and finished it this morning) #and also like i love you girl but why the hell has your guitar only got three strings #do you know how hard it is to try and draw proper guitar chords and you gotta hit me with 'theres only three strings here actually' #anyway i tried to make it an a chord (shes an a girl and also its one that only requires 3 strings) but i dont know how well that turned ou #its also dual shift because i love her mega form from 7? i was looking at ds/ep change for a bit but i decided on dual shift for this one #maybe ill draw a ds/ep ringo next time! #my stuff

[dark-points]

My self poppet is finally done! I decided it would be better to make it my fursona because she is the ideal creature, is much easier to do than a human one, and I had the perfect tiny buttons for nipples. Made of felt, stuffed with an obsidian heart and a lock of my hair etc. Her tail has a button joint so can be moved around, and I’m very proud of her yarn hair!

#bochelly #poppet #witchcraft #beginner witch #I don’t know exactly what to do with a poppet #but I have one now #my crafts #witchblr #ngl she is one of the major reasons I am getting into witchcraft #working with Circe for her transformation aspects esp monster transformations #I’m slowly getting closer to having proper lucid dreams where I am physically a monster #it’s been very upsetting that I have never been able to physically not be me in dreams despite being able to lucid dream #and dream entities that could help have refused to #extremely frustrating #but I’m very optimistic and have already seen improvements c: #met some helpful dream people who gave me info on Circe

[parttime-creative]

For the 3rd night in a row I dreamed of fencing. God damn, this damn sport is getting addicting.

Everytime I am not holding my longsword my hands desperately miss it. Even tho last week I actually got BLISTERS from training.... Can wait to do it again tho

#Also the nice effects on my muscles this sport has #Ehehhe #Lesbians with swords #HEMA fencing #I am getting ever so slightly closer to my dream of becoming a real life knight #... Or locked tomb cavalier #What ever comes first #Yune does sports

[oatshow]

oh this is my YEAR baby

#your boy got his college transfer approved! one step closer to my dream program! #also turning 20 very soon! also finally healed up from Top Surgery! #I get to go back to work soon and am also taking a darkroom photography class at community college!

[nishibai]

i dont really care now !

#nishi thinking.. #remember how we used to play? i am not insane #dreaming of our own galaxies.. i dont really care now. #dont blame me. were getting closer #come play in oceans of mind!

[shower-phantom-ideas]

If I never post here again after the 27th just know I died this is middle of the woods back waters air bnb

#like no for real this is weird old lady house but also ewww #who ever is clearly trying to take cheap routes to update the house and it shows #it’s on stilts #water heater is behind a curtain in the other bedroom #the tub has jets though soooo it moght be a keeper idk I feel so unsafe #nothing like it’s photos #they did such a good job hiding the truth in yhose #this house is gonna keep my soul I just know it #water gets hot btw (yes I just got here and instantly am testing shower) #no water pressure though but idc about that stuff #btw update on the trip for everyone who does care #I missed my flight and almost missed my second flights connection cause they decided to stop boarding at the normal boarding time #stupid dallas #tbh their airport was so nice though #oh im in texas but flew to shreveport cause it’s closer to where kn staying #I have zero moneyz #my credit card is maxed out #im super trying to not stress but I think im like gone to it #I can’t even tell if im awake or if this whole trip is a dream #nothing feels real and im numb #this has been a big stress on me #see this is why you should t read my tagz cause I vent in them #cause I don’t think im doing ok at all

[beauceronn]

Genuinely I'm so happy everyone has been so kind about me being in this community since. Yk. I don't have a dog to post pictures of or give yall updates on. And this is like terribly sappy but genuinely. Genuinely. This community (and the irl Beauceron community I have found) have really really made me feel like this isn't just a pipe dream. That there will be a day (a real day. Soon) where I WILL have a puppy to post pictures of and give yall updates on. Idk. Thanks ❤️

#im really tired but im getting soooo emotional about this #literally.. every day is one day closer yk? #like this is the first time ive felt that my dream is within reach #i didnt reach out to breeder this weekend because i have a few more questions to ask my beauce friends #before i submit my app #and i dont know if ill be accepted onto the waitlist! it worries me. #but idk. ill just be honest. i have a year left of university and after that i am moving out. and i will be in a position to have a puppy. #this semester i also want to really start trying to make connections in the field i want to get into #just so i have some semblance of stability to show for myself after graduation #i have a lot saved up for puppy + moving out but i want them to see that im not just living off of these savings #yk. #idk im rambling #lmao

[daechwitamv]

i keep having dreams where im a man and tonight i dreamed that i had a boyfriend on top of it and like ? it got me thinkkng if i had been born a man + socialized as a man i think id be into men fr

#makes no sense but i feel its true if id been socialized as a man i would be attracted to men irl im so convinced #the dream was SO real #like as i am no i rly do not have any interest in getting closer to men like . it makes me feel uncomfortable to even think about #but if i was a man ! #i wish i could like go to a parellel universe where im a man and just test it out . i think abt this a lot #i mean i dont mind being a woman and i think id like women in every universe but i rly wanna know what it would be like to experience- #childhood and adolescence and adulthood as a boy . #i rly wish i could just switch around whenever i feel like it #das wort zum sonntag i guess

[wickershells]

Sigh. vent time u know the drill

#i havent been sleeping well recently. and ive been losing a lot of daylight whenever i do #my brain feels all mush-like. i just cant think of the right words for anything. its like im dreaming #ive missed the deadline for applications so theres another year gone. im so stagnant my life is idle #ive never been more desperate for spring before in my life #i want to go places and see things because i am so miserable stuck here. so i tell myself it will change once i can leave #but i dont have money. and i cant keep a job being as unstable and sensitive as i am i need to get better first #but in order to get better i need to spend money that i dont have #i dont think i was supposed to be happy. i dont think life ever planned that for me #i know that is such a defeatist and ugly attitude to have but truly i am just so unhappy all the time and i have been for years #realistically speaking im never going to be able to keep myself afloat i dont know what to do with that #and im the loneliest ive ever been #i try reaching out and i meet nothing #i know how hard it is to love me which is why no one really does. and i dont say that to be self-pitying #im so incompatible with everyone i love even my own mother. i keep trying to stop being so sensitive but ive been trying to get thicker #skin my entire life and it has never worked. i am perpetually upset no matter how hard i try i dont think i was built to still be here #i convinced myself i wouldnt be and now i am and i dont know how to deal with that. so many things i never preserved or procured because #i figured i would be long gone by now. that was a bit silly of me. but now ive left myself nothing. im left with nothing #everything i had hoped for as a little kid is ruined now all because of me. i have irreparably destroyed my life i mean that #and i cant handle the inevitability of grief and its growing closer and closer as everyone gets older and older #which is why in an act of pure selfishness id rather let everyone else deal with it. in the nebulous sense #god i just. ive spent year after year trying to fix my life and nothing has worked. not even close #im trying not to believe that its futile but deep down i think i already do #well. whatever #mine

[nerice]

chensoman anime is so overproduced....

#this is a salt post abandon reading here if ur alrdy annoyed #// #went back to look at jjk and jjk just looks amazing. it looks very polished. it goes hard but also holds frames and let's them breathe #cs/m is moving too much somehow in a suffocating busy way #& im not bashing the cgi here. yes it's clunky but anything that can take the crunch off of animators lol #like some of the awkward angles and rotoscoping is the fault of being too close to the cgi they obviously used #they somehow managed to make an anime equivalent of AAA hyperrealistic games that feel bland bc of it #not always!!! ofc!!! but im saying the hyperpolish doesn't add anything of value esp to a property just as cs/m #& i know fujimoto is a movie buff n this is probably his dream adaptation n whatever #& i know anime will never look like in the olde days again #but i am thinking of akira animating on 1s and making the busy look work #i think of the hyperreal movements in satoshi kon movies and how he makes it work #chainswman wld have been better off looking like klk this is the hill i die on #not saying it needs imaishi's animation style and sharp chins and yelling. but the feeling klk had #of dark and grimy fights that went with scratchy and decidedly drawn lines in their fights & copious amounts of blood #& i do like the stark contrast red blood in csm! it just does nothing style wise since the rest is so Realistic. it's just red #in the end its an adaptation but i would have liked it to stay closer to the feel of the manga. the endings Get It #& on that note i also don't like the soundtrack that much. ik the discordant stuff Fits but vs katanaman was the first time #that it actually integrated well with what happened on screen. (again compared to jjk or klk that had impeccable osts) #bg music not op/ed ofc. tho none of the ending songs have been all that stand out either #anyway!! this has been my salt!! #csm blogging #still preferable to a bad adaptation i guess (sighs at fnae...) #but i do hope jigokuraku next year will look worse (lol) bc nobody cares abt that show/manga so they'll not go all out #and i do hope they will not Improve On (tm) jjks current style bc i need my toji moment to fuck me raw #good morning and goodbye

[opaleyedprince]

new oc just dropped

#opal.txt #oc tag: cassus #he is for a silly little thing i am hyperfixating on atm. as one does #in short #he's an ihnmams oc bc i find horror fascinating and i wanted to add my own little guy to the mix #so he's a cyborg - closer to an android in design but still at his center human #bc he was once human and he still /IS/ is his core theme. he has been changed sm but he is still himself even though his name is different #and his personality has changed he is STILL that guy and not that guy at the same time. he still /IS/ himself. the self is just not static #anyway before they wired up the whole earth they thought hey - maybe we can train a human to do this. and he volunteered (maybe) #and over time he became cassus but upon completion he was deemed too volatile bc he was still Too Human #couldn't be objective couldn't be logical bc even without a heart he still thought with his and made decisions from his. he still loved #he was built separate from the network bc they worried he would 'infect it' with his well. everything #and then put to sleep and launched into space to orbit the world while they lined it with circuitry #and he slept. for a hundred years and some change - asleep and dreaming all the while #and then his ship finally gets too old and gives out. so he crash lands #and the thing abt him is. he is poison data given human form #if am absorbs him - he will finally know what it is to feel and to be human. but he can't do that without permanently altering himself #he can't kill him either bc cassus was built to not die + has the bargaining chip of 'you try to hurt me and i WILL inject myself into you. #if you've seen tng he is to am what hue was to the borg collective #you could say 'oh sounds gay' and whatever they have going on is waaay more interesting to me. guys who hate each other + are also not guys #but also why not sure

[clematys]

i love experiencing kingdom hearts i feel like im about to pass out

#snark.exe #<3 #containment breach btw #ive been going insane about it the past month ive been watching frankenbugs vods of it and just got to the start of dream drop distance #i watched the secret end 2 of recoded like 20 times and then finally continue to dream drop distance and am greeted with more braig #and i feel like im on a roller coaster #anyways come closer im so so normal and will not bite you #sorry i just have to stop directly tormenting my besties with my insanity all of the world gets this

[ryuseitai]

tetora was the first event 5* i ever got after over a year of playing enstars

#i havent plahed it Consistently in thag entire timeframe but like 70% of thag whole gime frame was consistent i tjink.. #also not counting tour event 5* bc those r easier #i am proud tho i love him my little guy #only need 3 more members of ryuseitai as five stars... #snd i got sm memorial coins from this event so km way closer to 30 so i can get halation chiaki ULTIMATE DREAM CARD OF ALL FUCMING TIME...