#am i not good enough to be seen

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Smell Check [Easy: Failure]

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #disco elysium #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #So sad I didn't manage to get this comic out on the 15th (pd-mdzs's 8 month anniversary and DE's 4th year anniversary) but I'm here *now* #I have a very extensive and detailed MDZS Disco Elysium AU that I am Not Normal About. #I've seen a few other people point out the potential in a crossover (true) but they make the mistake in having it be set in 51! #A true crossover would take place closer to The Antecentennial Revolution! #Disco Elysium did not go that hard on its cool lore for people to only make surface level crossovers!!! #One day I'll write the fic or post my notes. I don't know who would read it but it tickles *my* brain and that's enough. #No spoilers for DE (here or in comments (please)) but please consider....Magpie Wei Wuxian B*) On his way to be an innocent. #I do think there is a good chance a chunk of the MDZS readership would enjoy DE but...it's also not a game I easily recommend #It's more of an experience you have to marinate over. It's dark in ways that are off putting to some people. #It makes you feel like a very bad person all the time. It gets extremely personal if you allow yourself to be honest in your answers #and it's also the game that saved my life. My life was truly forever changed after playing disco elysium. #If I recommend it to people it's a badge of the trust I have in you to appreciate something dear to me B'*) #If you decide to play: PLEASE go in as blind as possible. You will regret spoiling yourself. #edit: this is based on real disco elysium dialogue. HDB has many canon kinks but this is not one of them

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

If genocide joe loses the 2024 election don't cry about the people who understandably will not vote. I dont want trump but it'll be his own fault if he loses. If you still believe in the 2 party system you need to grow up

If you still believe that your own righteous fury is worth more than people's lives, then you also need to grow up. If a compromise will save lives, I'll compromise. I won't let people die holding out for a perfect solution that will never come.

#genocide tw #i am far less angry about people abstaining from voting this year than i was in 2016 for obvious reasons #but i have seen one too many 'the ceasefire isn't good enough' bad takes to be completely charitable #especially to those who seem to think that preaching to the choir on here is a better use of their time than flipping people on the fence #biden might be pro israel but he at least can be pressured into 'let's not kill civilians' #trump and his ilk think that annihilating gaza and everyone in it sounds great and that's what they will do if we let them

[alexjcrowley]

Btw I can't believe all the Hamilton edits with Hamilton the musical, especially to Wait for it but when they're done with Carlos

Like girl be fr if someone is his Burr that's not Carlos that's Nico fucking Rosberg, he owned that role

Carlos and Lewis have had beef for a month because Vasseur gave Lewis Carlos's job, you want bitter soul crushing rivalry that's been destroying another guy's life step by step, that's been booked by Britney since day one

#lewis hamilton #carlos sainz #nico rosberg #f1 #formula 1 #ferrari #edit #hamilton the musical #brocedes #BE FR I woulf be mad too if someone stole my job that's normal #you want the yearning the fury the jealous heart that's nico for you #Carlos doesn't have all that hate specifically for Lewis like it's normal now they got beef because of the 2025 seat #but he would have had beef with whoever took that seat last minute you know #yes recovered Hamilton fan getting ptsd from these edits speaking wait for it it's not the song for the sainz-lewis beef #no shade to whoever did these edits because they look really good #just I have seen like five of them with Carlos and Lewis to Wait for it #WHERE ARE THE BROCEDES EDITS TO WAIT FOR IT #WHERE ARE THE WORLD WAS WIDE ENOUGH EDITS WITH BROCEDES #your obedient servant is NOT carlos and lewis song it's lewis and nico #No Carlos hasn't looked back on where he failed and every place he checked the only common thread has been Lewis's disrespect #THAT'S NICO #Unless there is some serious Lewis Carlos lore I am missing I am sorry no #I write for a magazine where a colleague 'steals' an article I wanted to write I get pissed off but I don't break into dramatic songs #on how the guy has been ruining my life forever #RESPECT. NICO'S. ANGER.

[penisbutterjellytime]

Probably isn't what you expected (also sorry for responding so late lol)

But anyways lol there's two ways this could go

I think she'd either have PCOS and keep the beard. Or she'd have transfem butch swag. Beard could be a safety thing (passing as a man) or maybe she doesn't shave it off because she feels it doesn't take away from her identity so she keeps it. Maybe a bit of both.

Anyway, Butch Kieran Duffy be upon ye

#rdr2 #kieran duffy #dz.art #dz.rdr #rdr the butchifacation #tumblr loves to eat up asks when I try to send it to the drafts #luckily took a screenshot of it b4 I did #i dont care ab gay Bill Williamson but I do believe (gay or not) hes never seen pussy b4 #the reason i think hed have pcos is his in game facial hair pattern is really similar to that of ppl who have it #and even though I dont have pcos I am on T and how the few pathches of facial hair have grown in its kinda been growing in similar lol #If you love a character enough they end up becoming almost every letter of the alphabet #Kieran is this for me unfortunatly #canonically and realistically the closest to kieran being lgbt is being cishet but like a decently good ally #but hes gay bisexual lesbian trans masc trans fem to me #Rotating him in my head so much someone get him out before he gets sick and throws up #4th kinda ooc but eh...

[amazinlei]

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP OVER THEM!!!

#I HAVE BEEN WANTING AN OFFICIAL CAPCOM AMATERASU PLUSH FOR DECADES!!! #AND SHE'S PERFECT #SO CUTE #SO SHAPED #ammy even has her bestie issun!!! ;o; #so in a sense issun a rare merch appearance!!!! good for him #the fact that he's just a green ball attached to the plush of ammy is so fucking funny ahdjfdskdlvc #I have been wanting the one laying down amaterasu plush but its so rare and expensive on ebay if you can find it #hell even a lot of the okamiden merch hasn't seen the light of day since release #and I actually had a chibi plush but god the quality on him was so ass #the crimson markings were pretty much just airbrushed on #it made me sad bc its like he's literally loosing his true form... #I'm also aware of the first 4 figures but also I am not rich enough to afford an 800 dollar amaterasu bust that I know my cat would break #WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I WANT THEM...... #also looking at the rest of shop and find it funny and sad that rao got an enamel pin over waka #Lei stop being silly #Okami #okami amaterasu #issun okami

[owlsie-hoot]

"I don't hate him, Edward."

#Audrey Hall #Anna Madeley #ACGAS #All Creatures Great and Small #ACGAS 2020 #backstory #Robert Hall #Edward Hall #tried to combine some of the backstory and the things she said about Robert with the scenes we have seen in s4 so far #Love this backstory for Audrey #and how she decided to handle it #that she was brave enough to leave him and never stopped to see the good in him #even if he treated her badly #and now she is free #and a new woman: like Siegfried said #I am so happy for you Audrey!

[spread-the-influence]

// hopping in again because 2 am is in the timeframe where i become so hyper on accidentally finding vibes like a nocturnal predator

. https://youtu.be/8Gopg80VXwc?si=j_vS5a5xUWvgiBRC

somehow sounds like t.i

// ASHES ASHES DUST TO DUST THE DEVIL'S AFTER THE BOTH OF US //

#[ ooc ] #i have Never heard of this song until now and now i'm obsessed holy fuck holy shit #“tell me i am good enough” me when i am a random doll who wants to please everyone to the point it's a source of manipulation #from the parasites in my brain #by making me think i'm being useful when i do things for them while also not hesitating to put me down when i fail #( i easily accept these words because i truly believe that everyone else's wellbeing is more important than mine #and do not like being seen as a failure or useless because it makes me do feel worthless #as i lack internal validation for myself #so everything is a personal failure on my part even when it isn't ) #i hollow out my being for the people that only serves to take and take and i fully let them do it #it's what is 'good' for me after all - at least that's what they tell me #... yeah here's some psychology

[thepunkmuppet]

↳ David Boreanaz & Charisma Carpenter in Buffy the Vampire Slayer S2E2 (Some Assembly Required)

#the definition of humble beginnings #seeing their little moments in the early seasons of “let’s make buffy jealous by being hot together” having seen ats just makes me so happy #like they are LITERALLY soulmates and yet all they feel towards each other at first is: #C: hello salty goodness ;) #A: you are a vaguely tolerable person who seems to exist in buffy’s general vicinity. I am polite and will let you drool all over my biceps #anyway TAGS lol enough of my deranged cangel feelings #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #buffyverse #ats #angel the series #cordelia chase #btvs angel #cangel #charisma carpenter #david boreanaz #gif #gifs #gifset #my gifs #btvs edit

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Japanese Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel

#im so glad theres no one here to witness my reaction to seb wins because my god #i dont think words exist in the english language for the screeching noises i make HAHAHAHAHA #i just love him too much and it is a very late hour so i feel so deranged abt him and its very unwell behavior #i am kissing the tv director was for this podium directly on the mouth because SO MANY GOOD SHOTS !!!!!!!!! #my main gripe(and youll see this often in my tags) is that they never have enough direct shots and also cut away at bad moments #this podium? absolutely fucking beautiful. i want to kiss the camera operators because their focusing and tracking is a thing of beauty #hes so cute this race!!!!!! i have way too much content so shall be 3 posts methinks. hope ya dont mind!! #ive seen a clip of him and tommi chest bumping but i didnt know it was this race so when it suddenly cut to them im like OH!!!! #seb at japan gp....truly magnificent every single season(we dont talk about 2007) #i usually put 'ft. [ther drivers] but clearly both the cameramen and i only had eyes for seb hahaha #i guess this time tommi and rocky are the features!! #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #2009 japanese gp #2009 japanese grand prix #sv5

[theguardianace]

mafuyu and airi are trans because it perfectly parallels, encapsulates, and enhances the narrative themes of their current stories. rui is trans because his gender is full of shrimp colors. they are not the same.

#like. transmasc mafuyu as “i don't know who i am because what ive been told i am is not me” #maf's egg cracking along with his search for self. like that's good. #and airi as the trans feeling of “you called me too girly but then when i told you i am a girl now im not girl enough” #that feeling of no matter what you do you'll always be seen as the “other” #and yeah you could make rui's loneliness fit in with being trans but honestly he is just genderqueer in every flavor purely through vibes

[aq2003]

rtd's finales are badly stacked conflicts that are suddenly solved by deus ex machina (but that doesn't matter bc it's filled with genuinely beautiful & heartwrenching character writing that will make you forget about everything) and moffat's finales are convoluted nonsense that make you confused as to what the fuck you're even watching. technically neither of these are good but between these two poisons i will pick the former every time

#disclaimer im biased and you should all take my media criticism with a grain of salt #bc i genuinely do not care how well constructed a thing is if the character writing is good enough. #like that's all im there for. my senses are honestly kind of primed to enjoy rtd's style over anyone else's #dr who #the real question i ask myself is 'will moffat get better at writing finales in twelve's run' #and the answer i have for myself right now is 'hopefully it does in s10 bc i want it to be good' #but i am so absolutely not sure of this. #bc i can definitively say that inside man (2022) by moffat is like. by far the worst thing of his ive ever seen #so i cant use the 'he probably got better with time' reassurance. i think something is wrong with him #misc

[lemonhemlock]

not to be a hater on main but i just stumbled on a tik tok claiming that tsh both takes itself too seriously and could use more absurd comedy and it nearly made me punch a wall

#my quest to find agreeable creators on booktok and booktube leaves me v frustrated sometimes #!!! i accept no criticism of this book #but even without stan goggles on how can say with your entire chest that tsh takes itself too seriously #when it literally makes fun of 'dark academia' types TO YOUR FACE #which is ironic for the book that spawned the entire genre #it's a comedy of manners at the very least #'this book that contains copious amounts of absurdly comedic situations and makes fun of pretentious twits obsessed with aesthetics #could use more absurd comedy and is not satirical enough' #recognising those basic building blocks of the text does NOT even mean to have to like it?? #i hate to be bringing the Reading Comprehension debate again but good lord. and this person claims to have a phd in literature too 🤦‍♀️ #i am so over this pretense at criticism that basically boils down to 'i didn't like this thing so i can't be seen to admit it executes #anything well. so instead i'm going to pretend basic obvious techniques in the text don't exist and peddle it as groundbreaking critique' #stuff like recognising basic genre. what happened to that. #i don't like The Hangover either but it would be very strange to call it anything other than a comedy #the secret history #donna tartt #again you don't even have to like the book!!! #I'M SORRY BUT IT MADE ME WANT TO RANT SO BAD #livresque #booktok and booktube are satan's garden

[thegreenhordes]

Field Guide to encounters with The Glow, Part One: Type 1 infected, AKA Growlers.

Growlers are intensely aggressive, so much so that they are just as violent towards other infected as anything else that moves. While blind, the Growlers are equipped with keen hearing and smell, and can locate a potential meal from far distances. Constantly on the hunt, these unfortunate beasts' diet of choice ultimately leaves them unsatisfied and starving. Stage 3 Type 1 infected usually die within weeks, but some have survived up to two months.

To Distract a Growler: Find some way to create noise in the opposite direction that you are located. Make sure it is loud, and lasts long enough for you to run. Flying is a viable method of escape if you possess wings, as stage 2 and 3 Growlers are incapable of flight. Stage 2 due to the weakening of their flight muscles- and stage 3 due to the loss of feathers.

How to avoid detection: Mask your scent. Try to remain as neutral-smelling as possible. This can be hard to do, but do your best and you will avoid being sniffed out by a late stage Growler. Avoiding detection by a stage 2 is simply a matter of staying out of sight and keeping noise to a whisper. Additionally, avoid making noise when near a stage 3 Growler. If you cannot be detected through smell, your best bet with a stage 3 is to hold completely still, breath slowly (quietly), and wait for them to leave line of sight- then you can make a run for it. Stage 3 Growlers are strong but slow-moving. Outrunning them in a large enough space is possible.

Special Notes: Growlers at stage 3 cannot be reasoned with and have the minds of starving, cornered predators. However, due to stage 2 Growlers being still rather cognizant, you can communicate with them- it is recommended to do so with some form of barrier however, due to their overwhelming instinct to bite and infect everything they see. When things were still relatively stable and infected were being appropriately contained, Princess Twilight Sparkle had frequent verbal contact with multiple stage 2 Growlers in her care. They were reluctantly polite, expressing a clear desire to attack the princess, but understood their situation well enough to be compliant at the time. All these stage 2s eventually progressed into stage 3, and were either put down, escaped, or kept for further study.

#mlp infection au #the glow #infection field guide: Growlers #doing this bc you've seen what part of an infected looks like so- I wish to show to you what our boy N--- is up against here in a few posts #am I evil? mayhaps #also spoilers- kinda? I guess it would count- there are six 'types' labelled -1 through 4 so. #those field guides will be posted as each type is revealed #I'm having fun btw this is great #not only is it good practice for my art (which I should note I haven't drawn much at all in years) but! #this entire blogs very existence is incredibly out of my comfort zone! I am very very anxious about this whole experience but! I'm doing it #and I'm very proud of myself! Proud enough that the anxiety is being gradually overridden by fun and excitement and IDEAs #ok I'm done rambling now lmao

[linddzz]

YouTube keeps recommending animatics for songs from Epic and the music is good enough and the animatics themselves are often incredible. but it really looks like the musical makes odysseus more of a modern good boy hero ideal who is at most a little rascally and I'm sorry but I can't with it. give me my bastard man. give me that little compulsive liar schemer. where is my conniving rat man who loves his conniving and suspicious hot wife

#watching a badass animatic with the coolest Poseidon design ive ever seen #and getting slapped across the face realizing that poseidon??? is mocking odysseus for not being ruthless enough against polyphemus??? #sorry is this??? odysseus??? not ruthless???????? #am i supposed to go with the implications that he is too Good Boy for ancient greece????????????? #like i guess he isnt ruthless in that he didnt make sure to kill polyphemus but uh #the song sure seemed to be implying that it was from mercy???

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

so the weekly bosses are all getting revamped art and (Genshin leaks below the cut)

HNNNGNGNGNDNFBHNHNGNGNGNGN FOUL LEGACYYYYYYYY

HE’S SO BEAUTIFUL FOUL LEGACY SWEETIE I LOVE YOU YOU’RE DOING SO GREAT when do I get to see him again Hoyoverse. you can’t keep him from me forever.

#hush n shush wifi #genshin leaks #genshin spoilers #HE’S SO CUUUUUUTE #MOTH SWEETHEART YOU’RE GORGEOUS #HIS WAIST IS SO HOLDABLE I’M GONNA GIVE HIM SO MANY HUGS #I AM KISSING HIS FOREHEAD GENTLY #Hoyoverse can’t keep getting away with this #I haven’t seen him in the story for MONTHS and they taunt me with THIS???? #SHOW ME MOTH IN STORY OR ELSE #‘But don’t you see him every week for fights’ yes but it’s not ENOUGH #anyways not gonna be online today since it’s freedom day and I’m vibing with friends #good evening :)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]