#am i valid

[sanrikis]

and what if i said for a research topic i was thinking about talking about parasocial relationships, specifically in the kpop industry 🤔

like how weverse/bubble & fanservice give a false perception of closeness and “special connections,” causing idols to feel like friends or people you know, when they’re celebrities who don’t know you!!! and how the kpop industry and idols feed into it further bc it makes money (and some probably js genuinely enjoy the attention/interactions) 🤔🤔🤔

my main inspo is sunghoon tbh he’s so delulu (and me tbh i am a victim of parasocial relationships i’m crazy)

#sanrikis #.🐇 mia speaks #AM I VALID #don’t hate me #it has to be something i’m interested in #and one of my interests #is #kpop #sooo #yeah #👍

[am4zon]

y'all who write extensive biographies for your characters are amazing because i'm finding it easier to gouge my eyes out then condense everything i want to do with diana into one about page omg

#i just kinda want to go with the flow on this blog and pull from every single source i feel like and not worry about sticking with one thing #AM I VALID #VALIDATE ME

[faerociousbeast]

at.. at most. pikachu guy and crow head guy

#am i valid

[rotfromview]

sometimes having an 3d isnt about not eating sometimes its about eating a normal amount and hating yourself for it lmfao

#possibly idk #am i valid #maybe not #rot diary

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Why self-diagnosed autistics are valid

medical diagnosis can be expensive

humans are the experts on their own minds

family may prevent assessment

diagnosis criteria is a poor checklist of stereotypes

diagnosis criteria ignores gender, race, sexuality, culture & more

medical diagnosis confirms autism, but doesn't create it

discrimination within the medical profession may prevent diagnosis.

Assessment waiting lists often long

medical trauma may make assessment unfeasible

Neurodiverse Journeys

#self diagnosis #why it’s valid #I find it perfectly acceptable with doing the correct research #the diagnosis process can be complicated and sometimes not a very pleasant experience #i honestly think I had ADHD too but I have no idea if I am #actually autistic #self diagnosed adhd #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to share/reblog #Neurodiverse Journeys (Facebook) #autism awareness month #autism acceptence month

[salamie-baby]

The three genders

#Every alterhuman I've seen on here falls somewhere on this spectrum #All kinds are valid! #I for one am definitely somewhere between little guy and ethereal soul #Cus I'm just built like that 😎 #otherkin #therian #alterhuman #therian community #Alterhumanity #Canine therian

[pikp0kcas3]

The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality

Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!

I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.

One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.

Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.

It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.

It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.

When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.

But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.

Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.

But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!

Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?

Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.

Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.

And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.

But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.

#aromantism #aromantic #aroace #asexual #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #lgbtqia #alastor aroace #PLEASE i just want people to LEAVE HIM ALONE #“but it’s a spectrum” STOP USING IT AS AN EXCUSE #RESPECT AROACE PEOPLE WITH ZERO INTEREST IN ROMACE AND SEX #let us have this #we barely get anything as it is #but just to clarify i don’t believe that most people are being intentionally rude about it #nor am i discouraging people from creating fan content because it is FAN CONTENT and you can express yourself #i just would like people to understand a little more that #yes it is a spectrum and it covers an extremely wide range of orientations #yes ANYONE who identities as someone on the spectrum is completely valid #if you wanna argue with that i am showing you the door and kicking your sorry aphobic ass out #my point is that the spectrum is not a loophole. it is not an excuse and it is NOT okay to just use it willy nilly for your convenience

[traumasurvivors]

People seemed to really like the last one, so here's a new one! There might be a bit of crossover with the last one but there should also be new ones!

Please pass this along. <3

#my polls #polls #validation #if you need to hear some of these #please assume i am saying them to you #because i absolutely would

[egophiliac]

his magic is so PINK and FLUFFY and PRETTY! I love it!

I'm ready to process the Diasomnias now, buckle up

#art #unique magic posters #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #meanwhile at the super awesome kalim dream base #anyway I KNEW IT! I KNEW HE WAS A DREAMWALKER! #VALIDATION #love me a unique magic that is only really useful in one extremely specific and exceedingly unlikely situation #sure was lucky that silver was on the island huh! #okay everybody i am about to be even more embarrassing than usual over anime characters. hold on. #but i am ALL OVER silver right now. just really really enjoying him! #i love that his reaction to all of this is anger. i love that his reaction to malleus is basically 'how DARE you' #my boy is full of righteous fury and he is going to make it everyone else's problem #his deeply-ingrained respect for mal and lilia is such a big part of his character that it's just. #always such a nice character moment when that breaks! #like when he yelled at lilia during endless halloween night! granted it was lower stakes then but. still. #it'sgoodstorytelling.jpg #meanwhile sebek is over in a corner sobbing and going 'what is HAPPENING' which is its own brand of deliciousness #god. this game really does just slam its fists down onto all of my personal 'I LIKE THIS' buttons. #and now they give me silver's beautiful pink fluffy cloud dream palace. find me a chef to kiss because MWAH #i can't believe they cut it off RIGHT before we were about to learn his backstory. i mean i absolutely can. but you know what i mean. #i have to know the meaning of the shitty acorn bracelet. twst. twst please.

[ruhlare]

i don't like it when someone is easy to reach. when someone is open to everyone, when literally anyone can get their attention. it is a question of values ​​and principles not to be open to everyone and not to have the need for everyone's attention. people who are easily available won't value soulful connections.

#that's something i think about a lot #the same goes for social media #can't take people serious who seek online validation #especially some men are easily to find behind the posts and likes of women #this makes someone clearly unattractive in my eyes #does someone understand what i am trying to say? #how less do you have to think of yourself to fill the void with VARIOUS people? #i like people who stand out #e

[riickgrimes]

Okay, so we're, like...We're okay? We're back? We're good. Good. We're good? Yes. Okay.

#the bear #thebearedit #the bear spoilers #sydcarmy #sydney x carmy #sydney amadu #carmy berzatto #ayo edebiri #jeremy allen white #userlolo #usersophie #tvandfilm #tvedit #cinematv #televisongifs #mine and only mine #when i tell you i am obsessed with this argument #from carmy clocking that sydney was upset #to sydney's absolutely valid sarcasm to the canolis #to the im sorry sign 🥺 #to carmy wanting to know whenever he's messed up bc HE'S TRYING to do better #like this scene just delivers in every aspect #*** #thousand

[drdemonprince]

people who are obsessed with passing are gonna be the death of our community i swear

#i understand how and why so many succumb to that temptation and of course i get it ive been there but its POISON #listening to a podcast where a trans guy says getting maamed on the phone bc hes nice means he “failed” #is soooo .... ugh #my dude that happens to so many cis gay men are you kidding me #are you really about to study how to be mean on the phone rather than just correct somebody #or just like not define your existence by fleeting interactions w strangers #if you define yourself only by passing at all times youre gonna turn into a sad hudsons guide esque husk of yourself #fuck passing 2024 i am so over it #it truly is a never ending chase for cis validation and its bad for us!!!!!

[hup123hup123slapslap]

So a thought has been kicking around my head for a bit...what if Helio knew exactly what he was signing up for by making Kristen his chosen one?

It has always struck me as odd that when describing Doreen in Helioic heaven, Brennan mentioned her flirting with men and women. It also strikes me as odd that Kristen never got any pushback from Helio about turning her back on him. Even if he was similarly 'out of the picture' like sol was while Arthur was wrecking havoc, Kristen's powers should have faded when she fully committed to not worshipping him. You need to worship a god to get powers, and this is emphasized heavily in the latest episode. Kristen worshipping the vague idea of religion but Definitely Not Helio just doesn't cut it. Sure, taking away a PCs powers wasn't really in the cards in season one, but Brennan works very well and very caringly with what he has to establish as canon.

Kristen was looking for a reason to drop Helio from the get-go. His frat boy appearance and non-answer to a nearly impossible question didn't truly matter at the core of her feelings. She wanted an out from the prison she was trapped in with the Helioic faith, even if she didn't realize it fully. She had tension with her mom and her ideals from the scene one! She wanted to connect with people the church actively shunned. Helio was never the true problem.

Now, gods are shaped by their worshippers. So on some level Helio is shaped by people with shitty ideals. But there's still a foothold of good, especially if there are out and proud gays in heaven. Especially if Kristen Applebees of all people is the chosen one.

When you have worshippers misinterpreting your whole deal, going with Sol's shitty messaging and transferring it onto you and using it for bad things, what can you do as a god? Because you ARE what they say you are. So how can you fight back?

Well. You make your chosen one someone that embodies your true heart. Someone that can actually turn the tides of your worship.

There is an emphasis on tracker reinventing and revitalizing her religion. Changing it for the better. Taking the old and not tossing it out, but making it better.

Isn't that what Kristen struggles with the most? That's what she needs to learn how to do.

Tracker also established that she can worship multiple gods when she helped with Yes?. Kristen doesn't need to settle for one even if she (fingers crossed) brings Kassandra back.

Because the season opened with the slow apocalypse of endless night. Endless daytime would end similarly. There has to be a balance. They are two sides of the same coin. Day and night. The surety of the sun and the doubt of the shadows.

Kristen wants both. And she can fucking have it if she decides to.

Ally once said they appreciate that the enemy is always the church. Organized religion. Kristen is perfect for disorganized religion though. Chill frat boy vibes and anxious doubts and the ultimate message of 'just do your best'.

I think religious trauma is a compelling, close to the heart topic for a lot of people. And some turn away from religion entirely and wash their hands of it. But some people don't. Kristen is a cleric. She can't. She wants a god, she wants answers, and she just can't find them in the established community she was raised in. That doesn't mean the core of her religion was wrong. The church was. So you take the religion and you harness it in a way that means something to you.

Maybe Kristen being desperate enough to invite Helio back into her life is what this has all been leading to.

She can remake a god. She's done it before. Because Kassandra was good at the core. Maybe Helio can be too.

#dimension 20 #kristen applebees #junior year #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #i come from a religious upbringing and am very much not religious as a result #but dang people from a traumatic religious upbringing that maintain belief in the god but not the toxic teachings are very cool and valid

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[officesuppliez]

trans rights african forest buffalo I love you

#trans rights #trans #transgender #african forest buffalo #bovine #digital art #I am a #non binary #:] #trans also falls under #genderqueer #such as #xenogender #agender #and more! #you guys are all valid #trans women #trans men #love you guys