Tumgik
#amazing how most of these people just made stuff about steve without insulting any other character
usuallydeepcoffee · 3 years
Note
Steve antis are back on their bs so hard my soul is leaving my body. The thing is, everyone can have all their opinions, but the way they do it is the real problem. They keep saying "oh so criticizing something isn't allowed" while it's like dude, the issue is that you're an asshole and literally are harassing other people. Criticize whatever but leave other people the fuck alone.
The amount of cold takes I see reminds me of the Tony-stan peak days. They keep making strawmen to attack, claiming the wildest things. And recently the people saying "finally people are seeing the truth" or whatever makes me nauseous. As if the last three years haven't been a constant acid pit of their harassment and hate.
They're now admitting they're looking for hate and negativity on purpose and it just boggles my mind. They're spurring other people on to do the same. Like??? This isn't a competition of who is the most vile??
lmao “Steve antis are back on their bs” anon, have they ever not been? Like, ever since I got into the mcu there was always talk of Steve’s missteps. Talk that was somehow disguised as meta or that toootally came from a place of love. 
And tbh I’ve had it up to here with their criticism. The more time it passes the more it becomes clear that these people don’t know how to control themselves. If you keep engaging with content that you know it’s going to leave you upset, then I’m sorry, but I don’t want to hear it nor do I have much sympathy. If you can’t accept the mcu’s explanation of time and timetravel from the Loki series, why are you still here. If you have such a visceral reaction at Sam and Bucky not being angry that Steve left, why are you still here. If you’re watching a bunch of shows unrelated to Steve Rogers and still get mad at him for the things happening in the series, why.are.you.still.here. 
You’re not breaking the law if you stop watching a franchise you’ve come to dislike/hate.
Harassing is yet another low, but not exactly a new one. Really, it’s on brand if you think about it. Just like they can’t stop watching something they dislike, they actively look for negativity. Lmao, again, this is not “criticism”, it’s just people getting off on negativity and not knowing how to control their online time, which sucks for us.
26 notes · View notes
hanoella · 3 years
Text
Deserving
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x healer!Reader
Word Count: 2.1k
Summary: When someone bad mouths Bucky in your presence, you set things straight.
Warnings: Angst, but with happy ending, and one vaguely 18+ insult? I'm new.
Speaking of- @wkemeup has inspired me to post my writing for the first time! For their 9k writing challenge, I used this prompt:
"Character A is the target of harassment on the street. Shamed, they pretend it doesn’t bother them. Until it happens in the presence of Character B, who reigns hell on whoever dared to upset [A]"
Enjoy!
..........
Bucky was used to the whispers he got from people the street when he passed by them.
“Is that-?”
“Don’t make eye contact, he’s dangerous.”
“They just let him walk around like he hasn’t killed a bunch of people?”
His enhanced hearing picked up more than he wished it did. He liked to believe it didn’t bother him but deep down it did. It was just one more reason to stay secluded. Isolated. Alone. And he had been successfully doing that.
Until you came along.
Having been the test subject of a super serum version that focused on health and regeneration, you used your healing powers to help the Avengers get back to world-saving shape. Bucky hadn’t been keen on anyone touching him, much less someone he didn’t know. Despite his best efforts, he had caved in when you noticed he was having a bad day with his shoulder and offered to help. Since then, your companionship has been like a guilty pleasure.
You had this way of making him feel like he was the most important person in the world to you. Regardless of what he thought was evident, you only seemed to notice the good in him, even when he protested.
“There’s nothing I can do to right the wrongs that I’ve committed. Redemption isn’t possible. I don’t deserve-”
“Stop.” You said, cutting him off. “You are amazing. You have been through everything that you’ve been through and you still give back to the world. You fight for a world that made you this way, a world that gives you nothing back and yet you fight. It’s the world that doesn’t deserve you.”
Bucky swallowed hard. Looking at you in your eyes, he saw no dishonesty. Only pure admiration.
After that, there was no hope of him being alone. You cracked open his shell slowly but surely and now Bucky couldn’t imagine life without you.
Which led him to his current predicament.
“Come on, please? It’ll be so good and only a few blocks away. I know tapioca sounds gross, but you’ll love it!”
Bucky didn’t know what bubble tea was but apparently it was worth begging him for the past 20 minutes while you worked on his shoulder. Your hands emitted a warm white light as you gently massaged his shoulder. The direct contact wasn’t necessary but Bucky hadn’t complained when you started doing it and it’s become routine every since.
“I don’t know. I know I’m old but I don’t have to resort to tapioca yet.”
Bucky let a moment pass before his lip twitched up into a smile. You feigned annoyance as you cut off the healing and placed your hands on his shoulders.
“How about you go with me and I won’t bill the heck out of you for my magical five-star massages.” You say as you squeeze his shoulders.
“Okay okay, fine.”
Bucky put his hands up in defeat as he got up from the couch he was sitting on and turned to face you.
You swallowed as you let your eyes drift across his chest before you grabbed his shirt from off the back of the couch and tossed it to him.
“Alright! I’m so excited!”
Bucky listened to you chatter on about the different flavors he could try while he put on his shirt. Sometimes, he couldn’t believe he actually had a friend besides Steve. Sure, it helped that you had been Steve’s friend first. But there was something about you having grown closer to him that made him feel special. Never did Bucky think there would be a time that he’d be jealous over a girl that Steve was friends with rather than the other way around. Times were certainly different.
“You coming?”
Bucky broke away from his thoughts and made his way towards the doorway that you were standing in.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
---
Yeah, he knew this was a bad idea.
As soon as you two had left Stark Tower, the whispers started. While the café was only two blocks away, you noticed something was off a block into the trip.
“You alright?” You asked as you tried to decipher his facial expression.
“Yeah. Fine.”
You looked at him skeptically and then shifted your eyes to follow his, glancing around you. You slowly nodded in understanding as you looked at the people around you who were trying not to draw attention to themselves.
“Okay. We can talk about it later.”
Bucky was thankful that most people talked quietly enough so that you couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Keyword: Most.
You two arrived at the café, where it was slightly crowded. It was a warm afternoon, the perfect time to get a cool drink. Before heading inside, you gently placed your hand on his arm for a moment to reassure him.
“If you want, we could look at the menu out here and then I’ll go inside to order it.”
Bucky shifted his weight slightly from one side to the other as he contemplated it.
“Nah. We can go in together.”
“Okay.” you said, gently smiling to hopefully reassure him.
You both enter the building and make your way to stand in line. Bucky looked around at the seating areas. It reminded him of a Starbucks but with a more pastel color scheme. You looked at him and he raised an eyebrow in response. You smiled, happy that he was with you. Bucky’s heart skipped a beat and he smiled back.
That’s when you hear it.
“Is that that Hydra goon? Hey, go back to Siberia you brainwashed Hydra dog!”
You spun around violently the same time Bucky did with an incredulous look on your face, making eye contact with the college aged boy further back in line who was currently sniggering with his friends.
You stalked over to them before speaking in a low even tone.
“Sergeant Barnes has done more for the world than you could ever dream of doing. Apologize.”
You had let the venom creep into your voice, shouting the last word and silencing the rest of the line. Bucky walked up to you and put a hand on your shoulder, trying to turn your attention to him.
“C’mon. It’s not worth it.”
You let out a slow harsh exhale from your nose but didn’t move. The man only sneered.
“Why don’t you scurry along. I don’t care if you’re where he sticks his-”
The next thing Bucky registered was a nasty sounding crack as your fist connected with the jerk’s cheekbone. A round of gasps came from the surrounding crowd as he fell on the floor, completely dazed. You let out a pained grunt as you bent over, holding your hand while trying to cover the white light that started coming over your hand where the skin had bust open and something had definitely cracked.
“Okay, time to go.” Bucky said as he made an executive decision to get you two the heck out of there before anybody could react further. He put his hand on your back and quickly guided you out of the store, walking until you were out of the vicinity and almost back to the tower. You could tell that Bucky was not happy with you since he hadn’t said anything the whole way back. You entered the building and then stood silently in the elevator as it made its way up, refusing to meet his eye.
The elevator dinged as it opened up on the team’s dorm floor. You both walked quickly trying to avoid other people unsuccessfully as Sam stepped out into the hallway from the gym.
“Hey you two, what’re you… What happened to you?” He asked with a furrowed brow, nodding his head towards your hand as you walked past. Bucky and you answered at the same time.
“Nothing-”
“None of your business Sam-”
You gave Bucky a look and started chastising him.
“Hey, don’t be mean to him just because-”
“Keep. Walking.” He said through clenched teeth.
You rolled you eyes and shrugged apologetically at Sam as Bucky punched in the code to your apartment and swung the door open. He nudged you inside and then followed, shutting the door forcefully behind him.
Sam looked down the hall for a moment longer before shrugging it off. Natasha popped her head out into the hallway from the gym.
“What’s all the commotion?”
“Not sure. I think Mr. Tall, Dark and Metal left a few brain cells behind in the pod the last time he was frozen.”
Natasha snorted and then turned back into the gym.
---
Bucky closed the door behind him and then swung his arms out in confusion, giving you the same look of disbelief that he gives Yori when he starts a fight with his neighbors. You gave him the same look back, as if he was crazy for questioning your actions.
“What was that?” He finally asked.
“That guy was crazy! How could I not say something to him?”
“You didn’t have to hit him and hurt yourself! People say stuff like that all the time, you just have to ignore it and move on with your day.”
You stayed silent for a moment, averting your gaze and holding your injured hand that was gently glowing. Bucky gently let out his breath. He closed the distance between you and put his hand under yours to help you support it. His other hand grasped your forearm, gently moving over your smooth skin. He glanced down and watched as the inflammation went away and a bone shifted back into place under your skin.
“Please,” He whispered, his hold on you tightening ever so slightly. “It’s not worth all the trouble. It’s not worth you getting hurt.”
“No.”
Bucky snapped his head back up to see you calm and determined. Speaking again, you look into his eyes.
“It is worth it.”
He blinked twice, not having expected that answer.
“Why?”
“Because if I had let him say what he was going to say. Then to me, it would be validating anyone who has ever said anything like that about you. I can’t let you believe that any of that is true.”
“I don’t believe it.”
“But you do.” You cried out, slipping your newly healed hand out of his grasp and stepping away.
“I can see it in your actions, Bucky. I see it when you deny yourself anything that would make you happy. I see it when you try to hide yourself from the world. I see it when you look at me.” You spoke, voice wavering with the last sentence, averting your gaze again. Bucky stood silent as you continued.
“I see a deep sadness in your eyes. I can feel it in your soul when I heal your shoulder. Or when you touch my hand to see if I’ve fallen asleep. I can feel it emanating off of you. But I know for a fact that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to rest and to be happy. How many times have you fought a fight that wasn’t yours because it was the right thing to do? And don’t say it was to redeem yourself because I know it’s more than that. You are a good man, James. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. But if you need to prove it to yourself than just take a look at me.”
You gently hold his face and guide it so that he’s looking at you. He’s surprised to find your eyes full of tears, threatening to spill over.
“When you look into my eyes, there is nothing but love and admiration for you. When you touch me, I feel the warmth you leave on my skin. When you hear me speak, you should be able to tell from what I say that I genuinely think you deserve the world. When you are hurting, the only thing I feel is your anguish. It kills me, to see you punish yourself so undeservedly.”
You were whispering now, looking up at him. Bucky’s eyes were watering as well, his jaw clenched in an attempt to hold back his emotions. With your hands still gently caressing his cheeks he slowly lowered his head so that his forehead was resting on yours, swallowing hard.
Bucky lifted his head slightly so that he could look at you and he saw nothing but love. Your eyelashes were wet and shimmering from tears you shed for him. Your cheeks were flushed from the overwhelming feeling that you had for him. He looked into the depths of your eyes and saw only his future with you. Finally, his gaze settles on your lips, soft and supple.
“Please,” you begged. “Please do not ask me to stand idly by as the world tears you apart. You are worth more to me than anything else in it.”
Slowly, his hands touch your waist and slide back until he’s holding you against him. Closing the gap between you, you kiss.
Nothing more in this world could assure him of your love. For once, he believes it.
609 notes · View notes
alarawriting · 3 years
Text
52 Project #29: The Last Boy (Inktober #11: Disgusting)
This is fanfic-adjacent; it’s an unauthorized sequel to Alice Sheldon (writing as James Tiptree Jr)’s story “The Screwfly Solution”. It is... less dark than that story, but if you’re familiar with it, that’s not saying much. (If you aren’t familiar, don’t worry, this story explains the backstory necessary.)
This is a horror story... or at the least, dark science fiction. (Nothing supernatural in this one.) I am not tagging any of the triggers inside because spoilers, which are destructive to a horror story, but I will include them at the end, which is below the cut. If you rapidly scroll through the story you can reach the trigger list without actually reading any of the story.
--------------------------------------------------------
Roy is very excited, running, practically skipping, ahead on the trail. “Uncle Matt! This is great! I can see the woods up ahead already!”
Matt forces a smile, because he’s very much afraid of how this expedition might end, but he has to try. He has to have hope. “Sure is. Ready to go hunting?”
“You bet!” Roy turns around and flashes Matt a big, heartwarming smile. His face is pocked with acne and he’s late to have lost his last baby tooth; it’s a gap on the upper left side of his face. He looks so young, so boyish. Which he is; he’s thirteen. Thirteen is still a kid. Matt’s sixty; thirteen’s practically a baby to him. They grow up so damn fast. “You think we’ll bag a deer?”
“We might. Or we might bag a goose. Or we might come home empty-handed. The point to hunting is to be quiet and patient, and let nature bring to you whatever it will.”
They hike up to the tree line. This is one of very, very few forest areas that’s still being tended and managed by people. The rocky hiking trail up to the tree line’s been kept clear of scrub; there are bushes and tall grasses on either side of the trail, but nothing on the wide stretch of packed dirt.
From here Matt can look down the side of the mountain, to the acres planted with corn and wheat, the women working in the rows, a couple of men stationed to sit by the road with their guns, watchful for whoever might come by. He knows them both. Good boys. He took Evan out on a hunting trip like this one, ten years ago, and they came home with a deer and a couple of rabbits. Jase was called Lisa back then, and didn’t need to go on a hunting trip like this. The tradition of the hunting trip when you’re thirteen isn’t for the girls, or the gay boys, or the trans kids. Most of them resent that, until they get to be old enough to understand why.
“This is the best,” Roy says. “Just me and you, Uncle Matt. How long has it been since we got to just spend time together, just two men?”
“I think you were 10. We went out to the river and went fishing, didn’t we?”
“Yeah. I didn’t catch anything,” Roy laughs. “You got a couple of fish, though, right?”
“Yeah,” Matt says, smiling as he remembers. “Had to throw ‘em back, though. They were too small.”
“Why don’t we do stuff like that more often, Uncle Matt? Just hang out, without all these stupid girls around?”
Matt sighs. “You have school and I’ve got work; crops don’t grow themselves and we don’t get security by going on vacation.”
“Yeah, but why do we have to even live here? Why don’t we go live somewhere where there’s just men?”
“That’s a little hard to find. There’s not a lot of men around,” Matt points out.
“Because the stupid girls wouldn’t go to them and have their kids,” Roy mutters.
That is a disturbingly misleading viewpoint on what happened, but Matt tries to let it go, for the moment. “Hey. We need to keep quiet now,” he says softly. “If there’s any deer, we don’t want to scare them.”
Roy nods, and the two of them walk quietly into the forest.
***
Roy was such a sweet little boy.
Matt remembers him bringing the pictures he drew to Matt and to his mother – who Matt, despite being called uncle, is not actually related to; Matt is uncle to all the boys he takes under his wing – and being so enthusiastic about showing it to them. He remembers one of the pictures, of himself and Roy holding hands. Another, of Roy holding hands with his mom. Roy hasn’t had anything positive to say to his mother in weeks; he’s been disobeying her, insulting her, calling her stupid and saying he doesn’t have to listen to her because she’s just a woman.
It’s biological. Roy wasn’t raised to even have the concept of men somehow being better than women at anything or for any reason. Most of the boys develop the attitude around puberty, the result of a disease that infected the entire world over a century ago. Many of them get over it. Many don’t. Matt never suffered it at all; it’s linked to heterosexual desire, and Matt knew he was gay ever since he was nine.
He remembers Roy running around with a toy airplane, declaring that when he was grown up he would help restore humanity’s control of the skies, working to bring back the airplanes. He remembers Roy making him lemonade when he was six, cooking him an egg when he was ten. Roy making a card for his mother’s birthday with a big heart on it. Roy asking him what stars were made of.
It’s going to be all right, he tells himself. Evan was a little ass to his mom and his sisters, and it all worked out for him. Lebron actually punched his mom when he was fourteen, and he came through it. Roy’s going to be fine.
All the boys mean so much to him, but Roy is special… maybe because he’s the most recent one. Matt hasn’t been working with the little boys so much, lately. There’s enough men in the settlement now that the younger men, with more energy, are taking up more of that role. When Matt himself was a child, there were almost no men – Uncle Harry was the only cis man he’d known. Of the boys he grew up with, only Andrew, Tyrone and Jose were still there by the time he was an adult, plus Deandre who was trans and joined them in their late teens. He’d dated all of them except Deandre, who was straight. Ended up eventually with Cole, three years younger than him. Cole had a heart attack six years ago, and after that Matt couldn’t bear to open himself up to any of the new little boys, not without the emotional support of an adult man to share his life with. Roy has been the last one to call him Uncle.
“Uncle!” Roy hisses. “Is that a deer? Over there?”
Matt looks where Roy is pointing. “It could be,” he whispers back. “Let’s see.”
They walk closer, carefully, trying to be quiet. But Roy steps on a branch he doesn’t see. It snaps, and the vague outline that might be a deer startles and runs, proving that yes, it is a deer. Roy pulls out his gun and fires, but misses, predictably.
“Oh, son of a bitch!” Roy swears.
“What have we said about language?” Matt asks mildly.
“Come on, Uncle Matt. I’m not a baby anymore,” Roy protests. “Besides, I said ‘shit’ when I stubbed my toe on a rock on the way up here.”
“Yes, but ‘shit’ is disgusting and everyone makes it. ‘Bitch’ is an insult specifically for women, and calling something a ‘son of a bitch’ when you want to swear at it is basically saying that it’s the fault of mothers if their sons are terrible.”
“Well, who else’s fault would it be? Stupid b – stupid women don’t know anything, but they act like they know everything.”
“I think that’s a little bit of an overgeneralization. I know you’re not getting along with your mother lately—”
“She just makes me so mad. She’s always telling me what to do! Like she knows everything!”
“She is your mother,” Matt says mildly. “And she’s twenty-five years older than you. That does tend to make people know more than you.”
“Yeah, but not her. She really doesn’t know anything. Sometimes I just wanna punch her.”
“That happens to a lot of boys at puberty, but they get over it. By the time you’re twenty-five, you’ll be amazed at how smart your mother has suddenly become.” He smiles at Roy.
Roy glowers. “I don’t think so. Girls are just disgusting. I just want to hang out with men, like you. You’re not a dumbass, Uncle Matt. All the girls are dumbasses, but the guys aren’t.”
“That’s the hormones talking. You’ll get over it.” Matt points at the ground. “Do you see that?”
“No, what?”
“Tracks. For the deer.” Matt crouches down and points them out to Roy. “We can see what direction it went in, now.”
“Oh, yeah! I can see it now!” Roy starts to run, but Matt holds him back by the shoulder.
“Roy. Slow. Patient. Quiet. The deer can run faster than you or me, but it burns more energy doing that. If we walk, we catch up with it, because it’s got to rest. But if it hears us, it’ll run again. So we walk, and we’re quiet.”
“Right. I get it, Uncle Matt.” Roy is much more quiet and careful about where he puts his feet after that.
***
When Roy was eight, Matt walked the fields with him and showed him how to sow corn. They went to the vegetable plots and planted carrots and lima beans. Roy was so proud the day they harvested his carrots, and he got to eat one. Matt took him fishing the first time, that same year.
The little boys are always so sweet, so bright, so full of promise. It hurts so much when they don’t fulfill it.
Please, God, let Roy be all right. Let him get past this. Of course he would. Matt has been training him, teaching him since he was small (but there were others, other boys Matt had loved like his own sons, who he’d trained and taught, and they weren’t around here anymore).
He should have been around more often in the last three years. Roy was heading for puberty and that scared Matt. Still does. He visits the boy often, but Roy is right – they haven’t done anything together, just the two of them, in a long time.
“You ever spend any time with any of the young men? Jase, or Evan, or Fred?”
“Yeah, sometimes. I hang out more with the guys closer to my age. You know any of them? Steve, Paolo, Rafael?”
“Sure, yeah, I know them.”
“Paolo has a dad,” Roy says enviously. “When I grow up I want to be a dad.”
“Well, you’re in luck, because humanity needs more men to be dads,” Matt says. “You can go live where they’re using your donation, if you really want to be a dad, and help to raise the kid you helped make, or you can stay here and help raise the boys as an uncle, and maybe go out and visit the places where they used your donations.”
“How come I can’t stay here and raise a boy here?”
“Genetic variation. If we let human men have sons with their sisters, we get inbreeding. All kinds of diseases. Sending your donations to the other compounds makes us strong and healthy as a species.”
“Did you ever donate, Uncle Matt?”
“Back in my day, if your balls worked you had to donate. We didn’t have enough men. You know old Gran Stacie, she had to donate too. She couldn’t take the hormones to look feminine until there was a safe compound for women to live in and plenty of donations so the human race could keep going.”
“She’s okay, I guess. But the other girls are really stupid and gross.”
Matt stops Roy there. “Hey. You keep saying that. It’s like you’ve forgotten everything we taught you about our history.”
“I remember history,” Roy protests.
“So tell me. Why do we live this way? Why do women live in secure compounds with only a few men? A hundred years ago the world was very different. Tell me how it was, and what changed.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes. You do.” Matt sits on the ground, and gestures for Roy to sit across from him. “Come on. Tell Uncle Matt all about it.”
Roy rolls his eyes. “A hundred years ago men and women lived together but then there was a disease and it made the men sick and the sickness made them want to hurt women so they couldn’t live with women anymore, the end,” he says in a rapid sing-song.
“No. That shit doesn’t fly with me, kid, and you know it doesn’t. Tell it to me right.”
Roy sighs. “Okay, okay. So. Back then, women and men lived together all the time and every kid had a dad, and the men still took care of the women but there weren’t a lot of men trying to kill them, just one or two weird ones.”
Matt, being an adult, is aware of how far this is skewed off the truth of what life was like a century ago, but the boys are being raised with no awareness of historical misogyny. Nothing to give the disease any historical justification it can hook onto. They learn more details when they’re proven to be safe. “So far so good.”
“So back then, there was this thing we used to do to kill flies where we made the male flies wanna kill the female flies instead of mate with them.” This is also a distortion of the facts, but Matt lets it go as well. “Then suddenly, men were trying to kill women instead of having sex with them. But it was just the straight men who were affected and they had to have balls. Women weren’t affected even if they had balls, and gay men weren’t affected, and men who didn’t have balls weren’t affected, and men who didn’t want sex even though they had balls weren’t affected, but all the men who had balls and wanted to have sex with women wanted to kill the women. And a lot of the time, little girls or old women that no one wanted to have sex with, because they thought in their heads it was God telling them to kill women or something. They didn’t know the truth.”
“And what was the truth?”
“That it was aliens. They spread the virus around on Earth because they wanted humans to die, just like the flies, so they could take the Earth for themselves. But humans are more complicated than flies. So there were men who were affected too much, who killed little boys because little boys look like little girls, and there were men who weren’t affected as much, who’d killed their wives but they were trying to protect their little girls. And there were men who didn’t have sex with women even if they wanted to because they were trying to honor God or something, and those men could resist wanting to kill, because the wanting to kill thing was related to wanting sex. If they could resist one, sometimes they could resist the other. Plus, all the asexual men and the gay men and the trans men and other kinds of men without balls like castrated men, plus the trans women, who could fake being men so they could stay alive. And there were also a lot of women with guns, too.”
“So what happened?”
“Well, most of the women got killed, and the men who were doing the killing, they didn’t have any kids. But the women who survived, they went into compounds where all the women had guns and they would kill strange men who came near them. And a lot of the kinds of men who didn’t want to kill women would help women get to those compounds. They called them ‘allies.’ You’d have been one if you were alive in those days, Uncle Matt.” This is said proudly. Roy doesn’t realize how much Matt is still called on to be an ally, even today.
“I would have, yes. So how did we get where we are today?”
“A lot of the places were run by women who hated men even before they started killing women, called rads, and the rads were okay with women getting donations from ally men, but if they had boy babies they wanted to send the babies to live with the men or else throw them outside and kill them. And the moms didn’t want to do that and they thought it was stupid. So they made their own compounds and they let ally men live there. And if boys grew up and they didn’t want to kill women, then they were allowed to give donations and be dads. But if they did, then they couldn’t be dads and they couldn’t live there anymore.”
So much heartbreak, so much agony, skimmed over so neatly and briefly. Mothers pleading with their baby boys, grown to young men, not to do this, before the boy killed the mother… or the mother killed the boy, in self-defense. Entire compounds of women lost because some mother couldn’t bear to kill her son, so she locked him away instead… and he got out. Boys with the compulsion to kill sent to live with the femicidal men, only to be killed themselves, because there were no boys among the men anymore and the young boys were more feminine than anything the killer men had seen in years, by then. Or castrated, so that they would theoretically be safe to stay, except humans were complex and some of them retained the femicidal compulsion even in the absence of testicles, and the horror of boys everyone thought were safe suddenly murdering their sisters. Gay boys in love, their hearts shattered when their love interest proved to have enough interest in women that he became a killer.
They’re more careful now. Things like that don’t happen anymore.
“And the killer men thought that the aliens were like messengers from God or something, but the women and the ally men killed a lot of aliens. And when lots of aliens were dead, they realized that their plan to get Earth for themselves by making the humans die out from killing all the women wasn’t going to work, because humans are complicated. So we guess they changed their minds, because they left and no one has seen them since.”
“And that’s a good thing. We lost a lot of people when the aliens were willing to fight back in self-defense. If they’d had the stomach for it, they might have won, and humanity might have been wiped out. But, we assume, they weren’t willing to die to take our planet; they’d been trying to kill us off so they could have all the bounties of the Earth without doing any damage from removing us. If you try to settle in swampland and you try to kill all the mosquitoes, and instead the mosquitoes start killing you back, maybe you go find somewhere else to live.” Or maybe you come back, later, with a new plan… but humanity has collectively decided that, while it’s important to try to have contingencies for that possibility, it’s more important to rebuild humanity and reclaim what was lost. Matt worries about that, but it’s not something he can do anything about.
“You think they’re ever going to come back, Uncle Matt?”
Maybe. “No. We kicked their butts hard enough I’m pretty sure they’re gone forever. But they left us with this giant mess to clean up.” He sighs. “This stuff you’re feeling about how girls are stupid and irritating and you can’t stand being around them? That says, you’re in puberty and you’re going to grow up to be attracted to girls. Maybe guys too, but definitely girls. And the virus is waking up in you, trying to turn your desire for girls into hatred, but it doesn’t have to win. A lot of guys make it through this stage no problem, and never hurt anyone.”
“It doesn’t feel like a virus. It feels like they’re stupid and boring and gross and I hate them.”
“Of course it does. If it felt like a virus, the men a hundred years ago would have figured it out before they killed most of the women. It messes with your emotions, Roy. It takes feelings that are natural and normal, and twists them around. But if you understand that, then you don’t have to let it win.”
“Okay,” Roy said, and rocks backward, looking around him. “Can we go hunt for the deer now?”
“Sure, kid.” Matt gets to his feet. “We’re done here. You remember what they taught you about controlling your anger?”
“Yeah. Take deep breaths, take a step back from the situation, walk away if you hafta.”
“Right,” Matt says. “Let’s get a move on. That deer won’t shoot itself.”
***
They amble along through the woods. Another deer makes itself known, and Roy takes another shot, but misses. “Dammit! I was sure I had that shot!”
“I thought you did too,” Matt says. “But they move fast. You gotta be able to sneak up on them and shoot before they hear you coming.”
“Can you do that, Uncle Matt?”
“Used to. I’m older now; wouldn’t be surprised if the deer could hear the creak in my bones.” He grins.
And then they circle around a big rock, and there’s a girl.
She’s a teenager, about Roy’s age, maybe a little older. “Hi!” she says cheerfully. “I wasn’t expecting to run into anyone from around here! You’re from the compound down the mountain, right?”
Roy’s face twists into visible disgust, and he backs away. “That’s right,” Matt says calmly. “I’m Matt, and this is Roy.”
“My name’s Jennifer!” Jennifer has dark, wavy hair and tanned white-person skin. She’s wearing cutoff shorts, sneakers that have been patched many, many times – there are no companies that make goods from the old world like sneakers anymore – and a short-sleeved blue buttondown shirt that’s been tied up under her breasts to show her midriff, and opened in the front far enough to see her cleavage. When Matt was young, women were advised not to wear anything that could be arousing, because if they ran into a killer male, their life might depend on how much he was not turned on. By now, though, so many of the killer males are dead, and with women outnumbering men by three to one, the women and girls dress in whatever they want. It was never a good strategy for dealing with the killer males anyway; too many of them were willing to kill women dressed in nun robes, so it plainly had nothing to do with revealing clothes. There are numerous large lumps in her front pockets, which could be rocks, or animal bones, or any number of things.
Matt’s gay and far too old to see teenagers as anything other than young kids, but Roy is plainly very uncomfortable with Jennifer’s state of exposure. “What are you doing here?!” he half-shouts, angrily, at her.
“I’m from a compound on the other side of the mountain, and I hiked up here to try to collect mushrooms,” Jennifer says, her voice just a little bit too loud.
“Well, we’re hunting, so I’d like it if you could be a little quieter,” Matt says. “Don’t want to scare the deer.”
“Ooh! Hunting sounds fun! Can I join you?”
“No,” Roy says, loudly.
“Oh, come on!” Jennifer pouts. “I’ll be quiet!”
Matt takes in Roy’s trembling hands, the whiteness of his lips. Terror, or rage, or both. Roy’s expected to control himself no matter what the circumstances, but Matt… really doesn’t want to push him. Not now, when he’s so fragile. “Sorry, Jennifer, but Roy and I really came out for some uncle-nephew time. Maybe you can join us another time, but not now.”
Her eyebrows go up. “Huh,” she says. “Okay! I know a lot of guys like to go hunting with their dads or uncles when they’re thirteen. You’re thirteen, right?” This is directed to Roy.
“None of your business!” Roy snarls.
“Yeah, he’s thirteen,” Matt says tiredly. “Nice meeting you, Jennifer. Maybe we’ll meet again someday.”
“And maybe we won’t,” Roy mutters. He and Matt hike up the trail, away from Jennifer. “Good riddance.”
“I want you to think about this anger you’re feeling. It’s really out of proportion to the situation, isn’t it?”
Roy sighs. “Uncle Ma-att, I just wanna go hunting with you! I don’t wanna talk about my feelings!”
“Sure, but it’s safest for everyone if you do. What’re you supposed to do when you feel really angry?”
“I already took a step back from the situation! I told her to go away!”
“Didn’t hear any deep breaths,” Matt says.
Roy manages to deeply breathe sarcastically. It’s an impressive trick. Matt would never have thought it possible to breathe in a sarcastic way. Most of it’s with body language and facial expression, but there’s definitely a sarcastic note in the breath itself. “Now can we go find a deer?”
“Maybe we’d have better luck setting up a snare to trap rabbits.”
Roy’s whole body sags. “I wanted to bring home venison, Uncle Matt! Nobody cares if you bring home a rabbit!”
“All right,” Matt says mildly. “We’ll keep going.”
***
The forest is full of sound. Birds chirp and call. Squirrels and other animals rustle in the branches and bushes. Many of the sounds go silent as Matt and Roy approach, but not all. They come up into a clearing, someplace where someone, long ago, had a concrete pad. Most of it’s broken and destroyed, but there’s enough of it that even after a hundred years, the forest hasn’t completely taken it back.
And then there is the deer, quietly grazing on the other side of the clearing.
Matt whispers to Roy as he points it out. “Quiet, now.”
Roy nods. There’s a broken half-wall part of the way through the clearing, blocking the deer’s view of them if they go low. Matt and Roy crawl toward it. Once they’re behind it, Roy pokes his head up, very slightly, following Matt’s hand signals. He lifts his rifle. Quietly. The deer doesn’t stir.
Matt hears a tiny click. His eyes go wide and his blood runs cold.
Jennifer comes bounding into the clearing behind them. “Hi, guys! Didn’t think I’d run into—”
The deer leaps and runs off. Roy spins around, utter rage in his face, and screams, “You stupid bitch!”
“Roy, don’t—” Matt tries to grab Roy, tries to pull him down, throw off his aim, but it’s too late. The gun goes off, twice. Splotches of red explode on Jennifer’s chest, and she falls backward, twisting as she does so she lands on her front. Red oozes out from underneath her.
Roy drops the gun from fingers suddenly dead white and shaking. “I – I didn’t mean to – I was so angry--”
Wounds where the red had blossomed on Jennifer would be fatal; she’d bleed out almost immediately, and the quantity of red seeping out from under her body suggests that that’s what happened. It looks like a strike to the aorta, or the heart itself, maybe. Matt cannot stop himself. “No, no, no—”
“I’m sorry!” Roy screams. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry—”
Matt gets hold of himself. “Roy. Roy, come here. Come here, son.” He means it as an endearment – Roy is neither his literal son, nor has he raised the boy as a father – but it’s real as well. Roy is like a son to him. All of them have been, and he loves Roy so much, and his heart is shattering.
Roy collapses in his arms, sobbing. Matt holds the boy tightly with one arm. “It’s not your fault, Roy, it’s not,” he tells the crying child, tears welling in his own eyes. “It’s the virus. I know you didn’t mean to. I know you’re a good boy.”
“I’m so sorry—I just got so mad, and the gun was in my hand—”
“I know,” Matt says, as the boy’s wet face presses against his shoulder. “I know. I love you so much, Roy, you know that?”
“I love you too, Uncle Matt,” Roy says into Matt’s shirt, still sobbing, and a sob escapes from Matt’s chest as well as he raises his pistol with the arm that isn’t holding his nephew, his child, his son, the little boy who trusts him and loves him, and as Roy cries against his chest and cannot see what he’s doing with his other hand, he lifts the pistol to Roy’s temple, awkwardly, being sure not to touch him with it, and fires.
The sobs stop. After a moment they start again, but they’re only Matt’s.
Jennifer gets up. “I’m sorry, Matt,” she says quietly.
“Get the fuck out of my face,” Matt snarls. “You provoked him! I told you to back off! I told you we weren’t having you join us!”
“I have to do my job,” Jennifer says wearily, and there is no longer any mistaking her for a teenager, despite the expertly applied makeup on her face. She’s short, she looks young, and with the right makeup none of the boys ever guess she’s not a teenage girl. There’s red all over her shorts, soaking her legs and belly, from where the bags of fake blood in her pockets burst, and splotches of red over her heart and her liver. The paint pellets look horrifically real; they even smell like blood.
No, wait, that’s probably Roy’s blood he’s smelling.
"Fuck your job.” Matt holds his little boy in his arms, with both arms now that he doesn’t need one free anymore. “You pushed him. If we’d just given him a little more time – a little more training—”
“And who might he have killed while you were giving him a little more time? His mom? One of the girls his age?”
“He wouldn’t have had a gun!—"
“He could have had a rock. Or a steak knife. Or a baseball bat. I’m so sorry, Matt, but—”
“If you say ‘that’s the law’ or ‘those are the rules’ to me, I will hit you,” Matt snaps. “Not because you’re a woman, but because you’re a piece of shit.”
She sighs. “I know you’re distraught. It’s horrible, having to do this—”
“You didn’t even know him!” Matt screams. “You didn’t watch him when he was little, you didn’t teach him to tie his shoes, you didn’t play airplane with him – you didn’t—”
“I had a son,” Jennifer says sharply. “Don’t tell me I don’t know how much it hurts, when we have to—I was 16 when I had my son. It was six years ago that – that he took his test, at thirteen, and he failed it.”
“There’ve been so many,” Matt whispers. So many little boys. Slightly less than half of them pass; that’s why the ratio of women to men is around 2:1. He was so, so relieved when Blake turned out to be a girl and took the name Cassandra, twelve years ago; the trans kids are immune to the violent impulses. He’d known that Cassandra wouldn’t have to face the test, that he’d never have to take her on a hunting trip she might never return from. So relieved when Joe, eight years ago, reported himself gay at eleven and then showed no sign of aggression toward his mother or sister or any girls his own age.
But all the others. All the others, he’d loved, and they’d loved him, and trusted him, and he took them up the mountain on a hunting trip… with a gun that could only shoot paint pellets and blanks, and the paint pellets only after the bait’s radio transmitter came into range and switched it on.
Roy would never have bagged a deer with that gun. But if he hadn’t shot Jennifer, if he’d controlled himself and proved he could overcome his femicidal impulses, Matt would have “discovered” that there was no ammo in it, and given Roy a different gun, and then they could have had a real deer hunt. Like Evan, ten years ago. Like Jamal, five years ago. Like LeBron… how long ago had LeBron even been?
He’d already decided he wouldn’t take on any new little boys, after Cole died. Roy was the last one, the last child to shepherd to adulthood, the last he had to test. “God,” he cries, holding the little boy he’s just killed in his arms. “Why couldn’t you have let me have the last one? Why didn’t you give him the strength to overcome it?” He rocks the body back and forth. “Why did you let any of this happen? Why do you make us have to kill our sons?”
“God’s got nothing to do with this,” Jennifer says softly. “This is evil. If God allowed such evil as this to exist, then She’s not worth worshipping, and if She can’t stop it, then there’s no point in blaming her. It was the aliens.”
The aliens his ancestors drove off planet, who he’ll never have a chance to fight, or get revenge on. There’s no one he can blame who’s here. He understands the system, he understands the necessity. Little boys who try to commit femicide once don’t have the control to stop themselves from doing it again, and if it’s not the bait with her paint bags in her shorts and the radio transmitter to make the gun fire paint pellets, it’ll be a girl or women who really dies because the boy will have a real weapon. They can’t let the femicides live among them, and they can’t send them away to live with the few bands of roving femicidal men that still exist… the only reason those still exist was that once upon a time, femicidal sons were turned out into the wilderness. Where they could grow up to be bandits who invaded compounds, stole the food, and murdered the women. The men, too, because the men would defend the compound, but the women they’d hunt and kill for fun.
He would never have wanted a future like that for Roy. But he didn’t want this, either.
“I’m… I’m going to go. I’ll radio the compound and let them know the results of the test.”
“You do that,” Matt says bitterly. He knows his anger isn’t fair. He knows his attempt to drive Jennifer off, put off the test at the last minute and get her to come back another day so Roy could maybe develop stronger self-control first, was wrong. He knows it could have resulted in Roy murdering someone he loves. Loved. But how much better is it that Matt had to murder someone he loves? Why do they need to kill the teen boys to protect the women? Oh, he knows why, he signed on for this job years ago because he knew why, he’s seen what happened when a boy grew into a killer and turned on the women he knew. But why has God or Fate or Allah or whatever the fuck is up there listening to human prayers allowed this? Why is this horrible thing something that they are forced to do?
After what seems like hours, crying and holding Roy’s body and whispering how sorry he is, he’s finally out of tears. He looks down at his pistol. Cole’s dead six years on now, and there’s no man in his bed waiting for him, back home. There’s no little boy he’s working with, and there will never be one again. Is there anyone to care if he lives or dies, now? What if he ate a bullet, right now, so he could stop seeing Roy and Jason and Manuel and little Matt, named for him and he still shot him in the head while the boy was bent over the bait’s body, and all the others, all the boys who loved and trusted him, and failed the test he brought them into? Was there any good reason not to?
…there were the boys who’d lived. Adults now, all of them, but they loved and respected him as their old uncle, and they still were willing to spend time with him, sometimes. There were the girls, who yelled “Mister Matt! Mister Matt!” when they saw him and crowded around him, showing off their accomplishments, and he’d never have to take any of them up the mountain. There are trans boys who just figured it out, and need an older man to mentor them and teach them how to be a man, and none of them will ever need to go up the mountain either. There are the gay boys who want to talk to him about boyfriends, and how to date a guy, and how sex works, and all the other things gay boys need to know.
He can still help the children. But he’s never going to take on a little boy as his nephew again.
After a few more moments, he picks up Roy’s rifle, which can’t fall into the wrong hands, and his own pistol, and slings them into the holsters he has for them, on his belt or on his back. Then he picks Roy up and cradles him. A fireman’s carry would be easier, especially with the long hike down the mountain, but he wants to give his boy’s body as much dignity as he can. He won’t sling Roy over his shoulder like a flour sack. He’ll carry the dead weight of the boy down the mountain, and then he’ll carry it for the rest of his life.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
this space intentionally left blank
triggers listed at bottom because they are spoilers
dashboard removes all the line spaces
so I have to put lines in
*
*
*
*
Triggers: Child death. Serious misogyny. A backstory from the original story that involves a worldwide near-complete femicide.
28 notes · View notes
fanficwriter013 · 4 years
Text
The Tower: The Queen of Asgard - 10
Tumblr media
The Tower: The Queen of Asgard An Avengers Fanfic
Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //
Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)
Word Count: 2355
Warnings: none
Synopsis: The twins are now three and while the Avengers know that Clint and Thor are the biological father’s none of them know or care which blond, blue-eyed baby is related to which man.  When Riley gets the power to control wind and it becomes evident that she is the heir to the Asgardian throne, Elly, Steve, Thor, and Tony take the twins to Asgard to train her.
Not every Asgardian is happy with their king’s choice of consort, nor the impurity of the heir’s blood.  While others expect Thor to make things more official.  What’s clear is, the role of Queen of Asgard is not easily filled.
Author’s Note: Oops @avengerscompound​
Tumblr media
Chapter 10 - Before the Feast
After I’d napped with Thor we went out to wait for the others to arrive. Loki showed up first, fuming no one had come to tell her what had happened.  She ranted at Thor for a while and then strode off in a huff, complaining about the fact that it was always up to her to get to the bottom of these things while Thor was whoring around.
Next, came the Warriors with Riley.  They dropped her off exhausted and while her brother played quietly on the floor she fought sleep in Thor’s lap.
“If you put her to bed, she’ll probably just crash,” I said.
“She’s fine here,” Thor answered as he held her rubbing her back in circles.
I gave a small nod and let out a breath.  “Hopefully they get back soon.”
“My ears are burning,”  Tony said, striding into the room, followed by Steve.  “Are you talking about us?”
“Hey.  Did you have fun?”  I asked.
“So much stuff,”  Steve said.
“Oh, that’s great,”  I said as Pietro toddled over to them with his arms up.  “How about you come sit with us for a bit?”
Tony picked Pietro up and looked at Thor and I suspiciously.  “What happened?”
“Come sit down first,”  I said.
“Something happened,”  Tony said.  Steve gently touched the small of his back and nodded to where Thor and I were sitting.  With a soft sigh, Tony came and sat down beside me.
I tapped my fingers against my wrist nervously, not sure how to proceed.  I took a deep breath and let it out in a huff.  “So, after I left you, that guard took me back to Loki.  She was reading to the kids but Riley was going bonkers.  So rather than stay and talk with her like I said, I asked the guard to take the two of us back here… because you know me.”
“And there’s something and that guard tried to kidnap Riley?”  Steve asked.
I frowned and shook my head.  “Not kidnap, and not just Riley.”
“He wanted you both?”  Steve asked.
“I seduced the king and she’s the filthy half-breed in the way of the throne.”
“Excuse me?”  Tony asked, sounding outraged.
“That’s what they said.  I don’t think they had any intention of ransoming us.”
Tony got up and started pacing, still holding Piet, who was starting to sag against him.  “And this was just allowed to happen?”
“I’m here aren’t I?  Riley is sitting in Thor’s lap.”
“So this was allowed to half happen?”
I got up and approached him, rubbing his arms.  “I wasn’t careful enough.  I thought it was weird when I went from eight guards in formation to just one.  I didn’t trust my instincts and I didn’t do what I said I was going to do.  I should have just sucked it up with the shopping.  So that guy insulted me?  It’s not the first time that’s happened while I was shopping. I should have stayed in the group.  And then I told you I would go and stay with Loki and I didn’t do that either.  I let them isolate me and Riley.”
“No, Elly,”  Steve said, gently.  “It’s not your fault.”
“I still,”  I sighed and collapsed back down on the couch.  Steve wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.  “Look.  I know it isn’t.  There were a lot of factors involved here.  But it’s not Thor’s fault either.  He was still watching.  He arrived quickly.  And now Loki is out for blood.”
“I assure you.  This is being taken care of.”  Thor said.
“My kid isn’t some filthy half-breed.”  Tony snapped.
“No.  She isn’t.  And if you don’t think Loki, in particular, hasn’t jotted that particular phrase down so she can reign down some righteous fury, I don’t know what to tell you.”  I said.
“I knew I should have gone and made that robot,”  Tony said, mostly to himself.  “Now it’s going to have to have weapons too.  A robot guard.”
“We’re both okay.  I promise.”  I say.
“I have my friends on guard now until this is sorted out.  I trust them with my life.  You do not need to worry.”  Thor assured us.
“Besides, whoever they were, they aren’t the norm.  You saw what the general public has been like with us.”  I said.
“No, it isn’t.  They have been treating us like the chosen ones.”  Steve agreed.
“See.  So except for that little, not so little blip, we’re all fine and it’s going to be okay.  Pietro had a really nice time with Loki.  And look, Thor’s friends wore her out completely.”  I say gesturing to Riley who had fallen asleep on Thor’s chest with her mouth open.
“So graceful,”  Steve joked.
“The kids will be safe?”  Tony asked.
“I guarantee it.  I would not risk them.”  Thor said.
“I don’t like this,” Tony muttered.
“What can we do to ease your mind?  Should we change the subject?”  I asked.
“Maybe,”  Tony said, starting to pace again.  Pietro’s head flopped as he fell into a deep sleep in Tony’s arms.
“How about you show me what you guys got?”
Steve went through the things they’d brought on their expedition.  A set of ornate and perfectly balanced throwing knives for Natasha.  A bow that was beautiful, light and yet had the heaviest draw strength I’d seen in a bow, and yet pulled easily, for Clint.  A collection of rings and necklaces for Wanda that Steve said the vendor just kept adding more and more.  For Bruce, there was a set of what looked like scientific instruments and for Bucky, an Asgardian puzzle cube that Thor said was called a Vanigler.  The most amazing thing though was a bag that one vendor had given them to carry everything that seemed to hold its own pocket dimension.  You could fit as much as you wanted into it and it got no bigger or heavier.
We put the babies to bed and not much later some attendants came to get us ready for the feast.  I was taken to a large bath by two female attendants.  It was white marble and the size of a small pool, and so warm that steam came off the surface.  They scrubbed me down and washed my hair.  When I got out they rubbed scented oils into my skin, did my makeup and hair and dressed me.  The dress was stunning.  Floaty robes in champagne that had a long slit up one leg.  Over the bodice was a gold breastplate with black scrollwork.
I came out to find Steve and Thor dressed in very similar armor.  Thor’s was black and silver with a red cape, while Steve’s was silver and navy blue.  Tony was wearing one of his two-piece Burberry suits in black.
“Well, would you look at all of you,” I said.  “Don’t you all look handsome.”
“You look stunning, El,” Steve said.
The door to the children’s room opened and Sif came out with both the children who were wearing white robes with gold ropes holding them together.  Riley had a bracelet on from home that was made of plastic rainbow beads on a piece of elastic.
“Wow, look at you two,”  I said as Riley bounced excitedly at Sif’s side.
Tony came over to them both and crouched down.  “Look at my precious little man.”  He said tickling his side.  “And the little princess.”
“My warriors!”  Thor said proudly.
“I wanna be a wawwia,” Riley said bouncing over to him.
“When you are older,” Thor said, picking her up.  “Are we ready?”
“I think so.”  Steve agreed.
We were led down the halls to where the feast was set to be held.  As the sounds of people talking and celebrating got louder Loki came striding down the hall.  He had shifted genders in the meantime and was in his full regalia of green and gold with his horned helmet.
“Brother!”  He said, sounding angry and agitated.  “Did your council advise you what was going to happen at this feast?”
Thor looked at Loki confused.  “They said it was just to announce the heir and my consorts.”
“They have the stage set for a bonding ceremony,” Loki said.  “There is a high priest waiting.”
Thor laughed.  “You jest brother.”
“I do not,” Loki said.  “They think you have remained unattached too long and now there is an heir you must bond.  They intend to force it.”
“What do you mean bonded?”  Steve asked.
“It is like your Earth custom of marriage,” Thor said.
Tony shifted nervously and Steve seemed to freeze.  “We can’t.  We can’t do that without the others.”
“They are saying if you cannot adhere to Asgardian customs you are not fit to rule,”  Loki said.  “Of course, that leaves me in charge, so if you’d like to back out.”
Thor turned to us and gave Riley to Steve.  “Wait here.  I shall go and figure this out.”
He strode off leaving us with Loki, Sif and the warriors.
“You should prepare to do this if you care for him,”  Loki said, sounding slightly more concerned than he normally did.  Pietro started reaching for him and Tony handed the little boy over.  Pietro immediately scaled up onto Loki’s shoulders and rested his chin on his uncle’s head, his little face poking out between the horns.
“Just me, or all of us?”  I asked.  My stomach had started to churn and I was feeling a very powerful desire to vomit all over him.
“They have prepared for all three, but any one of you will do,” Loki replied.
I looked at Steve.  “I don’t want to do this without the others at least knowing what’s happening.  It’s not fair on them.  I’ll do it though if it protects Thor.  But you, you can’t do this without Bucky.  If Thor can’t get them to change his mind, you can’t do this.”
Steve nodded.  “I know.”  He said and took my hand.  “I would marry you, El.  You know that right?”
I nodded and tears pricked my eyes.  “It has to be with him here at least.”
“Thank you.”  He said softly and kissed my cheek.
“Don’t sweat it.  It’s probably just chuckles here stirring the pot.”  Tony said.
“Watch yourself, Stark.  Everyone else here might care that you’re a consort, but I don’t.”  Loki sneered, pulling himself up straight like he was about to fight.
“Can we please not fight right now?”  I said.  “What about you Tony?  Can you do this?  Because that’s my main issue.  The others should at least be witness to it.  But I’m the spare.  No one is particularly going to be more upset they aren’t here for this.  They’ll understand.  You think Bruce will understand.”
“El,”  Tony said taking my hand.
“No, it’s okay.  I’m not saying that like it’s a bad thing, you each have your special person.”  I said.  “I’m loved on pretty hard by all of you.”
He came closer to me and looked me in the eye.  “El, I love Bruce.  And you’re right, he is special to me.  But if you’re gonna say there’s a special person for each of us, that’s you, honey.”
I swallowed thickly.  That had never really occurred to me before given that I’d come in last and sometimes it was just about impossible to pull Bruce and Tony apart from each other.  But, even though Tony had in the past hurt me more than anyone else had ever hurt me, he was in the group because of me.  I leaned in and kissed him and he pulled me a little closer to him.  “I’ll do this with you if that’s what you want.”  He whispered.
We stood around waiting, speculating on why this was happening and what it actually meant.  After what felt like hours but was probably only twenty minutes, Riley picked her head up from Steve’s chest and pointed.  “Daddy!”
Thor emerged from around the corner looking defeated.
“They’re forcing it?”  Steve asked.
“I was able to delay it.  But they insist.”  Thor said.  “We have a week to come to an agreement between us and plan the ceremony properly.  Would the others come if I sent for them?”
I nodded.  “I think so.  Did you want to do this with all of us?”
“I would prefer not to have my hand forced.”  He said.  “This should have been something I got to come to in my own time.”
I came over and wrapped my arms around his waist.  “I’m sorry they’re putting you in this position.  I’ll do this with you though.  You don’t have to worry about us letting you down.”
“Thank you for understanding, Lady Elise.”  He said sagging against me a little.
“Are we still going in?”  Tony asked.
“You will be expected to show,”  Loki said.
Thor huffed and his hand opened and closed on my back.
“You otay, daddy?”  Pietro asked.
“You wanna doe home?”  Riley added.
Thor smiled sadly at them and didn’t say anything.  I looked up at him and caressed his jaw.  “Did you want to go?”
“Go where?”  Thor asked.
“Anywhere.  Back to our rooms.  Back to Earth.  Away from here and the feast.”
He sighed.  “You know I can’t do that.”
I leaned against him, gently stroking the back of his neck.  “Someone attempted to murder your daughter today.  You could say she is too shaken for a public event.  That you are still concerned about her safety.”
“It would definitely be better to keep her guarded at the moment,” Sif said.
Thor thought for a moment.  “Okay.  We call it off.”  He turned to Sif.  “Thank you. Can you handle that?”
She bowed and jogged off down the hall.
“So where to?”  Steve asked.
“Back to the rooms.  I’ll have food bought up.”  Thor said.
“That sounds like a good idea,”  Steve said.  “We can still have a party for the kids, and then… we’ll talk.”
Thor gave a sharp nod and we all turned and began our trek back to our chambers, completely unaware exactly what I’d just agreed to.
Tumblr media
// NEXT
183 notes · View notes
rosierossette · 4 years
Text
Tempting - Ch. 3
Chapter 3 of my Tempting Loki series -
Work Summary: Working as a Temp for Tony Stark you only expected your life to revolve around sending emails and important papers for Tony Stark. However, all that changed when Loki came to live with the Avengers. Two years later, they still don’t trust Loki and need someone to constantly watch over him and keep him from causing Mischief. Given the magical ability to control Loki with your words, your journey begins as you try to carefully tread the line between keeping Loki safe and keeping others from harm. But trying to control Loki has more problems than you’re ready for, and soon you discover why he’s the God of Mischief, and how much he’s willing to sacrifice for his freedom.
Warnings: None for this chapter.
Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3
A/N: Oh My Goodness it’s finally being posted! You guys don’t understand how much I LOVE this chapter! I had such a great time writing it, and hearing the response from my Beta Reader about it brought me so much happiness! As always I’ve linked the previous chapters in this work, so if you need a refresher go ahead and do that! Let me know what you guys think of it, and thank you so much for the continued support of my work! <3
Word Count: 4,543
Tumblr media
Loki was less than excited about the news of you watching him permanently when Thor visited him that night. While Stark paid to have your things moved to the Tower, you were busy decorating your room, pretending not to hear the sound of Loki throwing a fit. Unfortunately for you, Stark thought it might be a good idea to have your room down the same corridor as Loki’s, which meant you could hear all the nasty words about you coming from his mouth. 
Thor was trying his hardest to shut Loki up, but Loki was incorrigible. Soon lightning filled the sky, the terrible roar of the thunder was the loudest you’d ever heard it. The tower shook with every strike, and you could hear the muffled voices of Thor and Loki arguing. You were busy trying to sort through the large pile of furniture ahead of you, a lovely gift from Tony as you were moving into the Tower with all the Avengers. Trying your hardest to pretend you couldn’t hear what they were arguing back, you studied the pile of laundry you also needed to deal with. 
Crash. The sound of glass shattering was heard against your wall, right where yours and Loki’s rooms connected. You cursed as you ran down the hallway. You were already sick of this permanent arrangement, and the Avengers hadn’t even left yet. 
“Loki, shut up!” You screamed as you slammed the door to his room open, the door pounding against the wall behind it with a bang. Loki and Thor had both turned to you startled, Loki’s mouth involuntarily slammed shut.
You immediately paused at the sight of Loki’s room. It was beautiful, although you felt even that word didn’t describe his room perfectly. Loki’s room had a strange golden glow about it. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say you were no longer on earth, or at least it looked unlike any part of earth you had seen. It looked just like Thor had described Asgard. Massive windows overlooking an alluring scene of waterfalls and birds coasting through the air. The sky was a brilliant blue, the sun only adding to its beauty rather than taking away from it. Loki’s room was huge. 
Your room was nice and spacious, but it seemed like a broom closet compared to Loki’s. 
The walls and floor both had the same glow about them. And as you looked around, you noticed there was a huge bookshelf covered with books, most in a language you didn’t recognize. You turned in shock and amazement to admire more of the room when you finally noticed Loki and Thor. 
You shook your head, remembering why you came in.
“It is 10 o’clock at night, Thor is causing a lightning storm outside, and I’m trying to get stuff done before I pass out for the night!” You tapped your foot impatiently. “So if you’re both done having a fit at each other like children,” You gestured for Thor to leave, and he stormed out. 
He turned to look at the both of you before adding, “Loki, Lady (L/N),” He nodded to each of you, sending an angry look to Loki especially, before disappearing down the long hall. 
When you could no longer hear the sound of Thor’s footsteps you turned to him. “I’m sorry about casting that spell,” You spoke hurriedly. “I didn’t actually mean to do it, I was angry and well, people usually say ‘shut up’ when they’re angry, right?” Loki’s eyes never softened, he didn’t even move.  
“I release you from my spell.” You mumbled, rolling your eyes. This whole situation is ridiculous.
The look in Loki’s eyes was dark, filled with anger and annoyance, and it was your only warning before he magically shoved you out of his room in a green haze, the door slamming behind you. The air was knocked out of you, so you stood there attempting to remember how to breathe for a moment. When you finally calmed down enough to walk, you went back to your room. 
You threw yourself down on the bed, landing on the piles of clothes you were procrastinating working on putting away. Your room was still a mess but your mind was elsewhere. The image of what you were sure was Asgard flashed across your mind. It was absolutely breathtaking. For the first time since meeting Loki and Thor, you were actually disappointed that you were only mortal. You’d love to see the real Asgard sometime. 
Keep dreaming sister. 
“Alright fine, so I’m not going to Asgard anytime soon. That doesn’t give me an excuse to live in filth.” You muttered loudly to yourself as you jumped up to finish cleaning your new room. You finally came to a decision about where to move your furniture, and then promptly and unapologetically took all your clothes on your bed and moved them to the designated ‘laundry chair’. 
“Perfection,” You admired your handiwork, pointedly ignoring the pile of laundry you probably wouldn’t touch for another two weeks. At least. 
--------------
“Dinner is ready,” Friday’s voice filled the tower. It was six o’clock on a Thursday evening, and you felt your stomach rumble at the declaration. It had been too long since the small sandwich you had fixed yourself for lunch.
You’d been finishing some paperwork for Stark in his lab when you entered the kitchen and saw all the Avengers. They were….wearing normal clothes. You’d been working here for less than a year, and you had never seen them in anything other than their suits. Usually, when you saw them, they were either getting ready for a mission or working out for one. 
Your bewildered expression must’ve been evident when Natasha came up to you holding a plate of food, teasing, “We don’t always wear our suits. We’re only human.” She laughed at her joke. “Well, I guess some of us are.” She winked at you as she walked by to sit on the couch. The mom jeans and white tee she wore seemed so foreign on her, they seemed too casual,  but she didn’t look uncomfortable at all. In fact, she looked quite cozy. 
“(L/N), come get some food before Sam eats it all,” Stark called to you from the kitchen. When you walked in you laughed at the spread before you. Across the counter laid buckets of fried chicken, there were several containers of mashed potatoes, way more rolls than you had ever seen at once, and a small, sad container of coleslaw. 
“Um….” You snorted when you saw the coleslaw. “Who did this?” 
Wanda looked up from her plate, “Their coleslaw is absolutely disgusting (L/N). I didn’t want to buy any, but someone decided they couldn’t live without it.” Her eyes trailed towards Stark. 
“I will not be insulted for wanting some sort of healthy food with all this fast food junk you guys buy.” Stark didn’t even look away from his plate. 
“I offered to make some, Tony,” Steve spoke up, “But you said mine didn’t meet your standards.” Steve made a look towards the offending coleslaw. “At least the lettuce in mine isn’t swimming in water.” 
Stark scoffed. “Right, Cap. Well, your coleslaw is the same as what Pepper’s grandmother makes.” Stark made a vomiting noise, “It’s disgusting. I enjoy the look of swimming lettuce.” 
You shook your head but decided to fix yourself food instead of getting involved. Obviously, they were both wrong. Your coleslaw was absolutely the superior one. 
But like the wise temp you were, you didn’t say anything. 
You noticed that all the paper plates were gone. Shrugging, you moved towards the plate cabinet, opening the door before shrieking loudly as a ginormous rat pounced out of the cupboard, barely missing you as you ran backward. Falling on your butt, you only noticed once you had stopped to take a breath that there was a slightly green tinge around the rat. 
“LOKI!” You yelled at the top of your lungs, swiftly getting up and swiping at the fake rodent. You ignored the sounds of the Avengers snickering at your misfortune, and you muttered about Loki and his ridiculous sense of humor as you stood. Idiot God, who does that?!
Soon your anger melted away as you sat and enjoyed dinner with the Avengers. It didn’t happen regularly that they weren’t busy with their constant schedules, and you were happy they were so relaxed. Dinner, music, pleasant conversation, the evening went by in a whirl with you enjoying every moment. 
After you finally finished with helping the others clean, you walked back to your room. You were happy, full, and ready to sleep for the next twelve years. You walked to your room before pausing in the hall, staring at the direction of Loki’s room. Shaking your head, you opened the door. Your first view of your room was the ginormous hole in the floor behind your door. As clear as day, you could see the room three floors down and you stumbled backward, your adrenaline causing your heart to pound wildly, your chest heaving as you tried to remember how to breathe. 
You closed your eyes for a moment; your head pounding, your heart working blood through your system too fast. You couldn’t breathe enough. You laid down, your arms covering your eyes. You felt the shame course through you as the panic started to wear away. You finally could breathe again. Your chest rose rapidly, while your lungs remembered how to breathe properly.
When you finally were able to think properly, you stood and looked over towards the hole, expecting to see several floors through it. What you saw instead was your carpet, the floor showing no signs there ever was a hole, to begin with. Carefully you put a foot where the spot was, and all you felt was the floor. Your rage grew, your blood boiling.
Loki. 
You ran to his room, turned the door handle and slammed into the hardwood when the door refused to grant you access. No matter how hard you tried, it would not budge. “Loki, what the hell is wrong with you?” You slammed your hand against his door with precision on each word. “That was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced.” 
You heard his muffled words through the door, “You can keep banging on my door, but I’m still not letting you in.” Loki suddenly appeared in front of you, and you almost fell over to avoid being toppled over by him. He stood, leaning against the hard wooden door, a look of contempt covered his features. “What do you want?” The bored tone in his voice made you growl internally. 
“What in the seven hells is wrong with you?!” You righted yourself, standing directly in front of him, you still weren’t even close to his height. You stood up straight, attempting to close the distance, your eyes never leaving his. “Why would you do something like that?” If he was thrown off by the amount of sheer rage in your voice he hid it well, simply shrugging.
The urge to strangle him became almost unbearable, you turned, livid, going back to your room. As you walked away you gestured wildly with your hands to yourself your nails clawing at the air, growling once again. 
You turned around to flash one more dirty look Loki’s way when you saw his mouth twitch up. He was smirking, the piece of shit. Loki’s brow raised, and you turned to head into your room, slamming the door behind you as he slowly entered his room again. 
As you paced your room you struggled to figure out how to make him stop. 
You could just - you know - use that little magic ability you got. Just a thought. 
You shook the thought away. Not good enough. Besides, you’d just end up making him angrier at you, and you weren’t sure what to do if he got angrier. 
Then it came to you. If I’m not going to just tell him off….you came up with an idea, and smiled mischievously. 
Two could play at this game.
----------------
You had encountered only a couple issues with Loki again, all of them seemed like he was challenging you, egging you on. He was mocking you, that much you were sure of. If you hadn’t stopped him already, he was sure you weren’t going to do much about it. And you weren’t in a hurry to change his mind. Patience is a virtue.
Finally, your moment came. He finally stepped up his pranks again, this time by locking you in your room. By locking, he, of course, decided to get rid of the door, leaving you stranded in your room for about three hours before he got bored and moved on. When he finally thought you worthy of releasing, you had a whole plan figured out, and if things went well, you would be the winner of his stupid game. 
Well, at least for a couple of hours. But you decided not to think too hard about that. 
It took a few hours, but you finally ran into Loki. Unfortunately, your spell only worked if Loki could actually hear it. It was bittersweet: It meant you could see his face as you controlled him, but it also meant you couldn’t do it from a safe distance.
When he walked past you, you swiftly turned your mind towards his. “Loki, when you play a prank on someone or use your magic to inconvenience anyone, you have to kiss the person you’re standing next to.” 
When Loki turned to you, rage contorting his features, you simply winked and blew a kiss his way. 
It wasn’t long before you heard yelling from one of the Avengers as your spell did its job. True to your word, every time Loki decided to play a prank on someone, he had to kiss the poor soul standing next to him. 
It worked out perfectly that his first unintentional victim had been Steve Rodgers. Although you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t secretly hoped it would be Stark. Thinking about the look on Stark’s face made you giggle as you headed towards the sounds of Steve’s stuttering.
“What is wrong with you?” Steve repeated the question multiple times, his face was one of complete shock. His hand rested over his mouth. His words were fuzzy as they tried to escape through his hand. 
Loki looked just as shocked and looked over towards the sounds of footsteps, his face turning to stone when he saw it was you. “(Y/N).....” 
“Are you blaming me for you suddenly jumping Steve, Loki?” You feigned a shocked look, earning an even deadly glare from Loki. “Why would I put a spell on you to kiss Steve?” You walked over and rubbed Steve’s back, faking your concern when all you wanted to do was laugh out loud. 
Although you did feel a little bit bad. Poor Steve hadn’t seen it coming.
Loki stared daggers at you, and from behind Steve, you smiled widely. You laughed softly when Loki walked away, his steps thumping loud on the tile flooring. 
This means war little mortal, you could hear his voice sneering in your mind. I hope you’re prepared for the consequences.
You smirked as you headed towards the kitchen. I was born ready, Good luck with kissing everyone in the tower.
The slight pain you received as a reply told you everything you needed to know. Especially when Sam cried out this time. 
“LOKI!” 
A couple of days of Loki kissing everyone in the tower (you both had successfully avoided being around one another, Natasha was the only one left. But the look on Stark’s face when he became another kissing victim made everything worth it to you). You had been sitting, facing the window in the hall, sketching out a picture of the beautiful city below. You could hear Thor’s angry footsteps, appearing in the hallway connecting yours and Loki’s room.
“The two of you had better come out before I break both of your doors down.” Thor’s voice was low, but there was a terrifying power in his words. Thor noticed your presence and nodded towards you, the movement stiff. 
You stood, staring at Thor in confusion at the same time Loki walked out of his room. You both had turned towards each other, and immediate icy glares were shared between the two of you. Had Thor not been in such a belligerent mood, he would’ve laughed at your antics. You both stood in front of him. Loki with his arms crossed, looking as bored as ever. You with your hands on your hips, your brow raised at Thor’s anger. 
“What do we owe this lovely surprise, brother?” Sarcastic boredom were the words that came immediately to mind at the sound of his voice. 
“I’m here to tell both of you to stop your petty fighting,” Thor stared pointedly at Loki and then at you. “You both are causing unneeded wreckage to the tower and to everyone’s emotional stability.” 
You had a hunch Thor wasn’t here of his own accord. You also had an image of Steve’s face and snorted out loud, earning a look from Thor that clearly said not now. 
“I’m here to ask both of you to stop before I’m forced to take drastic measures,” Thor spoke after a moment of silence. He stared at you until you both nodded. “Good.” Then he left as speedily as he came. 
You both stared after him for a while before you spoke, “We’re not listening to him, right?” 
Silence. 
“Absolutely not.” Loki agreed.
You paused for a moment before speaking again. “Wanna join forces and prank Thor?” 
“Yes.”
You nodded, and silence filled the hall again. 
After a moment, both of you finally turned to go to your rooms. When you were at your door, you paused, noticing Loki do so as well. “Would-” You hesitated for a moment. “Would you like to come in? Just to talk about what we’re gonna do?”
“No,” Loki replied speedily. You nodded and started to head into your room. You paused in the doorway when you heard his soft voice say, “But I’ll meet you at midnight in the living room.” His door clicking behind him as you walked in was the last sound you heard from him.
You smiled softly, were you really about to do this?. “Deal.” You walked into your room, and hurriedly checked the clock. 
9:53
You groaned softly. Was it worth going to bed now, only to wake up in a few hours tired and bitter? Not really. Sighing, you looked around your room and spotted that pile of laundry you’d been avoiding. Guess we’ll waste time actually cleaning. Shocking.
When you finished hanging up the way too large pile of laundry, you checked the clock again. 10:30. 
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you flopped down on your bed groaning loudly, already bored. What were you supposed to do to get the time to pass by quicker? 
How about you pick up a book to read, instead of being loud and obnoxious. Loki’s snarky voice snuck into your mind. You frowned. 
Rude. I’m not even talking. 
Your mind is scattered all over the place, and I can’t read with you sending your thoughts over here. You could practically see the annoyance on his face. Read woman, and let me have peace.
You rolled your eyes, but took his advice and picked up the first book you could find. 
Soon time passed by too rapidly, and you nearly jumped when you heard Loki’s voice once again. Let's go little one. You stood, stretched out your muscles as much as possible and headed towards the living room, walking behind Loki, every step in sync. 
“So how are we going to do this?” You asked as soon as Loki sat down on the chair opposite you. 
“I might have a few ideas,” Loki stared you in the face. “But it could get a bit….,” he paused. “A bit smelly.” 
You paused for only a moment, “Let’s do it.” 
And every moment after that you’d be more careful about what you’d agree to. Especially when it was followed by the sneakiest smile you’d ever seen on Loki’s lips. 
----------------
You woke up to the sound of your alarm clock going off, and you groaned sleepily. The annoying ding ding only increased the pounding in your head due to not enough sleep. It was nine in the morning, but you still hadn’t slept too well, since Loki and you had stayed up way too late preparing everything for the little prank. You could still smell the prank all over you. 
I am never, ever, doing that ever again. 
You jumped up and hurriedly took a shower, preparing yourself for the day. Loki had said that the rest was up to Thor, but that you would definitely know when the trap worked. You’d be lying if you said that didn’t worry you at all. You’d told him you didn’t want to do anything too drastic, but you were starting to worry you both might have different definitions on the word drastic. 
When you were finally ready, you headed out the door, already smelling way better. As you closed your door behind you Loki opened his and walked out, winking at you as he headed towards the kitchen in a green t-shirt, and black jeans. You smiled and followed him.
There were a few Avengers still eating in the kitchen, but for the most part, it wasn’t too busy. Wanda and Vision were sitting at the table chatting, and Bucky was watching some game show as he ate bacon and eggs. Your stomach grumbled loudly, and you took it as your cue to make something quick and easy. Your two favorite words when it came to food in the morning. 
You grabbed your ingredients and put them together before finally sitting at the table with your prize in front of you.
Delicious peanut butter and banana sandwiches.
You smiled to yourself as you took a bite. You hadn’t eaten this sandwich in years, the last time being when your grandmother made you one before your first day of kindergarten. Feeling someone staring at you, you looked up and noticed Loki eyeing your sandwich with a look of curiosity. 
“Did you want one Loki?” You gestured towards the glorious sandwich in front of you. 
“I’m good, thanks.” He kept staring at your sandwiches. 
You got up, grabbed a plate and gave the other sandwich on your plate to him. “It’s not the best thing I’ve ever made, but I enjoy eating it.” 
He nodded his thanks before grabbing the offered sandwich and taking a bite. When he took a bite he stared at the sandwich in his hand, then at you, then back to the sandwich. You giggled softly at his response before sitting back down and enjoying your own sandwich. Loki came and sat down next to you, the both of you enjoying your sandwiches in silence. 
Suddenly there was a loud roar heard throughout the tower. There was a loud CLAP as thunder and lightning shook the building. You and Loki looked towards one another before booking it out of the kitchen as fast as possible. The sounds of Wanda calling after you were drowned out by the angriest sound you had ever heard in your life. 
“LOKI! (Y/N)!” Your names were howled. You both tried to keep from laughing. You could hear Thor catching up to both of you. Loki turned a corner sharply, grabbing your hand as you attempted to keep up. When Thor’s howling became almost deafening, you both ran into the first door you saw, shutting it behind you before darkness enveloped both of you. 
You were breathing loudly, all the running had killed your ability to breathe properly. Loki placed a hand over your mouth lightly, still allowing you to breathe while he held a finger up to his mouth. 
Be quiet! His voice spoke into your mind, his eyes sending warnings your way. 
Thor had suddenly stopped yelling your names. You hadn’t realized, you were too busy trying to breathe. 
You could hear his footsteps, slowly getting closer when a horrible smell filled the area around you. You nearly gagged. Maybe dropping Thor into the sewer hadn’t been such a good idea. You looked towards Loki and saw him shake his head, a real smile on his face. You paused. You hadn’t actually seen a real smile on him before, and it was even more shocking for you when you were filled with the desire for him to never stop smiling. Something told you he wasn’t meant to be so bitter all the time.
This is one of my best ideas yet, Loki’s voice filled your head, and you saw him struggle to keep from laughing. You covered his mouth with one of your hands. He looked surprised but didn’t pull away. The look in his eyes made something inside you flutter, and you were suddenly aware of the sounds of both your heartbeats filling the closet you hide in. 
When you both saw Thor’s shadow stop right in front of the door you involuntarily moved closer together. Your head rested on his chest, his head on top of your head. You hold your breath, your hands both resting on your stomach. You felt his hands move and wrap around you. You breathed in and immediately could smell Loki. He smelled fresh. You couldn’t explain his smell. It wasn’t like anything you’d smelled before. 
When Thor finally leaves, taking the stench with him, you finally look up to smile at Loki, stopping when you realize how close your faces actually are. Your noses almost touched, you could feel his warm breath on your lips. You both pause, searching the other’s face. Neither of you moves, you just wait. You don’t know what it is you’re waiting for, but you know it’ll be worth it in the end.
When you finally start to move, the closet door whips wide open, revealing a very angry Thor. He’s soaking wet, and the sewer smell is overpowering. He opens his mouth to yell at both of you before pausing, taking in your questionable position 
You both jump apart as much as the small closet would allow, looking sheepishly at one another. You can feel your face turn slightly pink as Thor mutters, “Pardon me, Brother,” before he speed-walks away from you. You look over at Loki and notice a slight pink tinge to his cheeks, and you feel your cheeks heat up even more. You can’t even look at each other. His arms lay uselessly at his sides and yours are wrapped around your torso. 
“I should go,” you point towards where you think your bedroom is. “I’ve got a lot of work to do for Stark…” 
“Yes, right,” Loki stutters. “I do as well. I mean, not for Stark, I just have a lot of- a lot of work I need to do…” his voice drifts off. 
You can’t run away from each other quickly enough.
42 notes · View notes
foxgirlontherun · 4 years
Text
Time for a miracle
Fandom: Stranger Things - harringrove Synopsis: Steve is the only one who’s able to see, hear Billy now, the only one who can help him. My writing playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1SAwppS9RedniyYLAX478o?si=1T1SfqNVQJ-YTfhmgsd-Eg (Some angst, some fluff and some magic.) New Year’s Eve is a time for miracles, that’s what Steve’s nana Otis used to say, then she held him by the hand and they made a wish when the clock struck midnight. She smelled like lavender and told the most amazing stories, and Steve believed every word she said. He missed her more than ever. Nana Otis would’ve known what to do, she would’ve had a spare miracle for Billy Hargrove.
Steve believed in magic in all his life, and fought unimaginable monsters, but if someone told him he was gonna see a ghost, he would’ve laughed. If someone told him he was gonna fall in love with one, he would’ve called them crazy. And yet here he was.
On this New Year’s Eve the Harringtons’ house and the backyard was full of cheerful conversation, laughing and music. Everyone came, the kids and their parents, the Byers, too, Nancy and Jonathan, Robin and even Keith. Wine drunk moms, dads acting like kids, the kids taking over the heated pool, the older nerds grouping around the hi-fi now placed on the terrace. Steve was grateful for all of this.  
Billy was sitting on a poolside chair on the far end of the pool, alone and unnoticed, watching the kids play. He had a relaxed look on his face, but every time Lucas threw Max so high up above the water that she screamed, he had lightning in his eyes, and he spat out a „You little shit...” that no one could hear but Steve. It made him chuckle. Mrs. Henderson didn’t understand why it was so funny to Steve, but she kept telling him about her new oven. Billy, on the other hand, knew it was because of him. Billy knew that the quick side-glances with the warm smiles were also for him, and he smiled, too. Something only Steve got to see. Steve was grateful for this too, but he couldn’t stop picturing him chatting with the guests, drinking some with Mrs. Henderson and sharing a joint with Robin, Joyce and Mr. Sinclair, or throwing the kids back into the water without warning.
Steve wished he was alive.
***
He knew this was stupid. Ever since Billy scared the shit out of him with his „What’s with the long face, Harrington?” after his own funeral, they were working on finding his way to ... where he belonged. He made a promise, not to Billy, but for himself, that he wasn’t gonna let him down again, he was gonna help this time. Not like on that 4th of July when he left him behind and watched him die. Steve didn’t want to be that person.
So he made that promise and steeled himself, he tolerated all the mocking and the insults from Billy, to get him to work with him. They needed to figure out his unfinished business. That’s what Robin called it, she was the only one who knew, she kind of figured it out, and Steve couldn’t have been more grateful, because he felt lost in the whole situation. Billy didn't seem to mind until they kept it from everyone else. Their first idea was Max. Maybe she needed to know that Billy cared about her.
But of course, she already knew. Billy watched in silence as she cried soft tears into Steve’s shirt telling him “I miss him”. He listened to her share memories, lovingly calling him a dickhead. "Sometimes I accidentally make him breakfast,” she said with her voice hoarse and wet, “I know it’s stupid...” But Steve assured her it wasn’t. Billy was quiet in the car, too, and it would have been a blissful experience for Steve - he didn’t get to enjoy the silence much in the previous days - if Billy didn’t have tears and confusion in his eyes. „But I hurt her so many times...” Steve didn’t know what to say to that.
They hung out with Max more after that, so Billy could be around her without feeling like a stalker, and because Steve loved watching him smile. He was so beautiful when he smiled, he had never realized it before because the smiles he directed at him when he was alive were only ever intimidating. They continued to look for answers. Billy told them about Heather, about the other victims, too, but she seemed to be the one he thought about the most. They knew it wasn’t really Billy’s fault but they helped him anyway. They took flowers for her grave and they visited her grandmother who lived in Hawkins. She told them how proud she was of her, that she did so good in school, and even had a job when they didn’t need the money, and she shared memories with them about Heather’s childhood. Billy seemed to be more at peace after that, maybe the thought that she was loved before she died, helped.
„I have nothing to say to him. My only unfinished business with my father would be me kicking the shit out of him,” Billy said when Steve insisted on asking about his parents. Steve knew by that time that he abused him, so he hated doing this. „I could do it for you,” he said, half-jokingly. Billy laughed. It was a genuine one. „He’s twice your size, pretty boy.” But Billy left that night, and when he returned the next evening, he was upset.
„He has no right to cry himself to sleep, you know? No business keeping my stuff untouched in my room, and putting that fake report of my heroic death on the fridge. Because he never fucking cared...” he spat out the words, pacing in Steve’s room and he cried out the rest „He’s so proud of me now that I’m six feet fucking under.” Steve felt a knot forming in his throat. „What did I do to make him hate me so much when I was alive? Why did he treat me like fucking garbage, why?” He was sobbing, and Steve wanted to hold him so badly. „None of it was your fault,” he said. „My mom, she never came back for me... No one was able to love me, not even her. I was nothing, I was less than nothing. And I hurt so many people...” Steve felt like a broken record, but he just kept telling him that it wasn’t his fault and that he was just a kid, and none of it should’ve happened to him. And that Max loved him, despite everything, she loved him. And after a time that seemed like forever, he stopped shaking and crying. Steve asked him to stay for the night. He usually went to their guest house or wondered around the town because apparently ghosts never sleep, but Steve didn’t want him to be alone now, or ever. And they talked until the sun came up, talked about everything his dad did to him, and then about his mom, and about California, and friends and cars and basketball. Steve realized that night that if he had known any of these things before he died, they could’ve been friends, maybe even more than that. And one other thing, they had to go to Cali.
That three day trip in October was easily the best time of Steve’s life. He and Robin took turns by the wheel and listened to Billy bitching about their driving habits from the back seat of the BMW. They blasted music, sang along horribly out of key, and mocked each other, played Guess the Song and I Spy, as they passed town after town. They found the address in the San Diego yellow pages. Samantha, that was her name, and she was home, but barely there. She lived with the man Steve saw her with at the funeral. He seemed kind, he was probably the only reason she was wearing daytime clothing and brushed her hair. She was staring into space in silence as Steve told her they had been close friends of Billy, and that he had talked about her a lot, had wanted to find her, so they decided to do it to honor his memory. Billy was watching from the far end of the little living room, he wouldn’t take his eyes off of her. „He wanted to see me...” she whispered, her eyes misty. „He wanted to see me, too, James,” she cried. He stood her up and escorted her away to one of their rooms, Billy followed. James offered them some coffee and told them she had been waiting for him to turn 18 so she could legally reach out for him, but Neil made sure no one knew or told her where they moved to. “She was so scared Billy wouldn’t want to see her anymore,” he told them, “but she kept looking, up until Neil called.” They said goodbye, and waited for Billy in the car for quite some time, and Steve never saw Robin this deeply lost in her thoughts before, but he understood. When Billy came out and sat in the car, Steve just started driving back and they never talked about it again. But he saw that all the anger vanished from his posture, it melted away, even his eyes seemed brighter, kinder. The only thing that bothered Steve was that he felt like they were out of options. He had no idea how to help Billy. Another part of him was glad he was still with them. „Let’s play Truth or Dare!” said Robin. „And before our friend, Casper would exclude himself from it,” she turned to Billy „You can only pick Truth, and I’m gonna use only Dare in return.” The way back home was even better.
Steve’s parents usually came home for Christmas, so he decided to relocate their base into the guest house for that time. He outdid himself with the decorating, but he had plenty of help now, Dustin came by with the rest of the party – without El sadly, they couldn’t come from Phili until the holidays started. Robin was there, too, of course. Billy didn’t seem to understand their enthusiasm, bitched about every garland and fairy light, except if Max put them on, then they were perfect.
On the day of Christmas Eve Steve dragged a big fir tree into the living room. „You can’t watch the TV all day. You’re gonna help me decorate it,” he declared to Billy. „Yeah... no. I would rather die.” „You’re dead, dumbass.” „You have a pretty big mouth now that I can’t bash it in,” Billy said, amused. „You’re acting like Scrooge when you’re supposed to be his buddy with the chains,” Steve said, as he tried to prop up the tree in the corner. „You mean Marley’s ghost? He wasn’t an awfully cheerful dude either, so.” „Then the ghost of the Christmas something...” said Steve, tongue sticking out in concentration. The tree was standing. „I’m the ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.” „Yeah, you’re hopeless, that’s what you are.” But then Billy helped him pick out the ornaments, mostly the ones he found disgustingly kitschy, and Steve was happy to put those up first. Then Steve told Billy he was supposed to buy a gift for Max for Secret Santa, and that Billy could help him pick something after they finished with the tree.
On the night before New Year’s Eve Steve couldn’t really fall asleep, he turned to face Billy. „What if you never move on?” Billy lay there quietly for a while. „Would it be so bad? I mean... I was never really happy, you know... but now I think I am.” Steve’s heart was pounding so hard he thought he was gonna just die there. Took him some time to collect himself again. „I won’t live forever. What if no one can see you in the whole wide world but me? What would happen to you after I died?” he asked. „You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?” Billy asked. „Don’t worry about me, pretty boy.”
But the thought of him wandering alone for the rest of eternity really did worry Steve. He couldn’t let that happen.
***
The guests all gathered around Dustin, Lucas, Mike and Will. Each of them had a champagne bottle in their hands and determination in their eyes. Steve wanted to join the crowd but he lost sight of Billy. Robin saw his expression and whispered, „Maybe the fireworks...”
„Oh God, the fucking fireworks! I’m so stupid.” And he set off to find him halfway through the sentence, not caring if they would notice his absence. Robin would cover for him anyways.
They started counting back from ten right when he spotted him in the woods, staring up at the sky. Billy noticed him, and probably the panicked look on his face. „Is everything alright?”
„It is now,” he said and walked up to him. „I just thought... you know... the fireworks.”
„Oh,” said Billy with a soft smile, „They can’t hurt me anymore, right? I just wanted to give you some space.” And they both looked up when the town’s first fireworks illuminated the sky, with the cheering of all their friends in the background. Steve watched Billy’s face, the lights dancing in his eyes, and he thought of nana’s miracles again. He really should wish he could move on. He should wish Billy could leave. But nana Otis also taught him that he should always follow his instinct, his heart, because that’s where the real magic lived.
„I wish I could hold you” he whispered, and he suddenly almost wished Billy couldn’t hear it. But he did.  Billy didn’t look at him, he closed his eyes instead and smiled, a tear rolling down his face. „Me too. But I think it’s time. I feel...tired.”
„What? Now? Why?” Steve asked, shaking his head violently. „Stay for a little bit, just for tonight, please, stay...” He muttered the words in panic. His mind was sinking into a thick haze.
„I’m gonna wait until you fall asleep,” Billy said.
The world started spinning madly, and Steve fell onto his knees, and he heard Robin calling out his name, felt they carried his body and that they tried to make him throw up and he wanted to tell them that he didn’t drink but the words failed to come out, and he saw Billy’s face right next to him on the pillow in the bed, or maybe he just dreamed, everything seemed so heavy, his head, his eyelids.
The first stream of sunshine of the new year rose up to Steve’s window and flew in, slowly filling up the room. He shifted to escape the light, but his dream got chased away by the sound of subtle snoring. He froze. He felt the heat of his body behind him, he listened to his breathing, but he was terrified to turn around. What if it’s just a dream within a dream and he’s gonna wake up again, into a cold bed, into silence. But he desperately needed to look. He calmed his breathing and slowly turned around. Billy’s face was peaceful, undisturbed by the light in the shade of his locks. Steve needed to feel. He gently traced his fingers down the back of his forearm. He could feel Billy’s breath on his skin, and his tears began to flow. Billy opened his eyes.
„I dreamed about my mom,” he said. „Am I still dreaming?”
Steve just shook his head and finally let himself break down. Billy reached out for his face, wiped away some of the tears, then pulled him closer and closer into a gentle but firm hug. He buried his wet face into Steve’s hair, and he held and rocked him as his body was shaking with sobs.
„Shhh... It’s gonna be okay now.” His voice a little shaky.
After a while, when his heart felt a lot lighter, Steve looked up at Billy and he softly chuckled.
„What?” Billy asked.
„You snore in your sleep,” Steve said, with the kindest smile he had. Billy smiled back. “You better get used to it.
A miracle can be a loved one returning from the war, or a heartbeat of a little one in a womb, and sometimes it’s someone snoring beside you in bed in the morning, or a boy telling you „I wish I could hold you.” when you need to hear it the most.
9 notes · View notes
caps-lockdown · 5 years
Text
Sweet on You
So this is mostly based off of a dream I had the other day. It is my first piece of writing that I’m publishing so I’m sorry if it isn’t amazing. I was inspired tremendously by Kaytizzle and if you haven’t read her amazing stuff I don’t know what you’re doing with your life! I don’t know how long it will be, I’m still trying to figure all of it out. 
It will be in a Y/N format and is slight AU from the timeline. I’m not choosing to ignore Endgame...but I’m choosing to ignore most of Endgame. Because I refuse to accept the pain! I don’t have a beta so all the errors are my own!
Pairings: Steve Rogers x FemaleReader (Y/N)
Summary: You’ve been working with the Avengers for a little over two years and one night you receive a late night phone call that scares the hell out of you! 
Words: 1,669 (Yikes!)
Rating: PG 13 (For the Language)
Warnings: Language (cursing), sad feels. It’s mostly fluff until at some point my brain comes up with some plot moving monster. Thanks for reading! Tagging @kaytizzle because she asked and I don’t think I could ever say no to her.
 Sweet on you
Part One: The Phone Call
12:00 Am.
It started as a buzzing sound. The vibration barely caused your phone to move on your nightstand as the screen lit up a small section of your darkened room. You didn’t even stir from your slumber as the phone continued, sound asleep and dead to the world on this now Wednesday morning. But that only lasted three to five seconds before the ring tone came blaring through your  consciousness.
You were jolted awake at the sound of a “Red Alert” from Star Trek playing from the phone’s speaker at the loudest possible volume. Mumbling a long strand of curses and insults at the mystery caller you reached your arm onto your nightstand. You pulled your phone to your face after blindly grabbing it, and you felt your face pale as your eyes focused onto the blue eyes of the contact picture.
Steve Rogers. Captain America.
The Avengers had been away at a mission in Florida for the past week and a half. You didn’t have all the details about the giant drug ring they had gone down to break up but what you did know is your employer, Pepper Potts was NOT happy about it. At all. But she was also currently almost seven months pregnant with Tony Stark’s child, so you could understand why she was on edge. You quickly pressed the green button and accepted the call, your fingers shaking as you brought the phone to your ear.
“Rogers? Are you alright? Is everyone alright? What’s going on you never call me like this.” Your voice was panicked and rough, fear coursing through your veins.
“Y/N? Put me on speaker I’m afraid we might lose reception.”
His voice was calm but filled with authority as you jammed your index finger onto the speaker function, nodding as if he could see you.
“Alright we’re good. Now what...” You were cut off by what sounded to be a lot of hushed tones and counting before your ears were subjected to the most horrid sound you could ever think to hear at midnight.
Singing. Very awful, and out of tune singing.
“Happy birthday toooo yooou,”
You groaned into the phone before grabbing the pillow to your left and shoving it over your ears in poor hopes of drowning out the infernal noise, dropping the device onto your bed as the team continued to sing to you. Today was your thirtieth birthday. You had spent the past week trying to forget it was coming but oh no, not on your friend’s watch. You wondered if it was possible to gouge your own ears out. It would make dealing with Sam and Bucky banter a whole hell of a lot easier.
“Happy birthday dear Y/N! Happy birthday to youuuu.”
“And maaany mooore...” You failed to suppress a giggle as Sam’s loud baritone rang over the rest of the group before they erupted in cheers and hollers.
“You are all assholes! I was trying to sleep! Do you have any idea what it’s been like working for Pepper while you’ve been away? She’s trying to kill me!”
“Oh chill out Y/N we only wanted to be the first ones to call ya.” Sam called out, you sitting up in your bed and pulling your legs to your chest.
“Yea Y/N at least you’re not in my shoes. Could always be a lot worse, remember that.” Tony’s sass was always something you looked forward to, even if his wife was an absolute nightmare in her current condition.
“Considering you’re the one that put her in this position Tony I think you deserve to be public enemy number one.” You quipped and heard a rousing chorus of laughter from everyone on the Quinjet. Well, everyone but Tony.
“Well we were going to name the kid after you Y/N but now that will have to change. You know we have lots of other real family and friends that would kill for that honor.” You scoffed, shaking your head knowing full well he had a well placed pout on his face.
“Yea like Pepper’s weird uncle.” You heard Natasha mutter near the phone and nearly barked out a laugh in response.
“Listen Sweetheart we’re getting off track here.” Steve cut in and you felt the energy of the conversation shift. His tone was serious, commanding, and yet the sincerity was something you never could hear enough of from him. You had been sweet on him for a few months now and hearing him call you Sweetheart always managed to give you goose bumps. You loved hearing it, even if he didn’t mean it in the way you secretly hoped he did.
“We just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday. We know your parents haven’t always been the best and we wanted to be here for you. Thirty is a great number and you’re an amazing person. You deserve a life with people who love you. We’re lucky you picked us.”
Your heart stopped for a beat as he took a breath, the rumble of the Quinjet landing giving you some peace of mind before wandering to what he had said.
People who love you.
Your life hadn’t always been so full of laughter and love. Growing up had been exceedingly difficult, your parents always away on business as lawyers and extremely cold when they were home.
At your high school graduation, when you told them you wanted to go into the administrative field and not the “Family Business” suddenly your “supportive” family became strangers. You fought the whole week you packed for college in New York, far away from California and your controlling parents. Your mom and dad were furious over it, and vowed to cut you out if you went through with your chosen career.
You graduated college with a major in marketing and a minor in business with honors on a full ride scholarship. Your parents didn’t bother showing up, just simply sent you a cold letter explaining your removal from their will and family. To say you were a mess was putting it lightly. You focused your rage into your career right out of the gate, jumping into the field less than month after you graduated. It didn’t take long before you started as an intern with Stark Enterprises, then moving up the ladder to work directly underneath Pepper. After six months there you were moved to The Tower and received the amazing opportunity to work exclusively with The Avengers.
Two years later and you couldn’t be happier. It didn’t take the team long to warm up to you, and now you considered them to be your chosen family. Between missions you found yourself grabbing coffee with Nat and Sam. You help Thor and Cap train, while also helping them adapt to the modern world. They nearly kill you with their five am jogs but they always treat you to pancakes afterwards. Also there is the big bonus of you getting to stare at Thor and Captain America while they’re sweaty. It’s a win-win. Recently you all decided to get together once a month and have a movie and board game night. It’s always tons of fun and your face always ends up hurting from all the smiles and laughing.
But still after all that you couldn’t help but feel a little somber, this birthday marking the eleventh one without your mom and dad.
“Y/N?”
Steve’s gentle tone made you blink back into the present, forgetting temporarily about the conversation at hand. You quickly moved your finger to take the phone off speaker and held it back to your ear.
“Yea sorry, ya lost me for a minute. What were you saying?”
“I was saying that we just finished landing back at the Tower and we’re going to get some shut eye but don’t worry, we will all be there at eight o’clock sharp for the meeting with Pepper.”
“Good, cause I’m looking forward to my annual Captain Rogers birthday hug.” Oh that sounded creepy. Shit. You tried to calm down, secretly super happy that he couldn’t see the blush spreading across your face. You couldn’t help but smile, it widening as you heard him chuckle; a deep sound from within his chest that always managed to make you feel a little light headed. Is that what they meant when they said “To swoon”?
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world Y/N.”
Damn your heart could have melted into a puddle at that very moment. Seriously he was going to give you a cavity from being so sweet. What was worse is he was always like this. You weren’t complaining but it was hard to try to get a read on him sometimes.
You exchanged goodbyes with everyone else before hearing them leave the jet, glancing down at your phone and looking at the time. Nearly one am. Holy shit you were going to need a caffeine I.V to make it through tomorrow. And you still had to bake scones and muffins for everyone. And grab coffee. And make yourself look presentable for the meeting. You sighed, forgetting Steve was still on the line.
“Alright Doll I’m going to let you get some more sleep. Happy birthday again, I’ll see you soon.”
“Goodnight Steve, thank you. I really do appreciate it.”
“Not a problem! Anything for my best girl! Goodnight.”
The call ended and you looked down at your phone in shock. His best girl? What the hell was that supposed to mean? You sat the phone back on the nightstand and plugged it into the charger before resuming your position from earlier, facing the wall and staring into the dark room. Except now you were wide awake and mulling over the conversation in your head. There was no way on god’s green earth that Captain Steve Rogers thought of you as anything more than a friend. Right? 
One thing was for absolutely certain. Maybe thirty wasn’t going to be so bad after all.
108 notes · View notes
parkersharthook · 5 years
Text
Come Back To Me
(Bucky Barnes x female!reader)
Warnings: brainwashing, winter soldier appearance, mentions of choking, angst with happy ending
8.5k+ words
Tumblr media
“What do you mean he didn’t come back with you? Where is he?”
“Y/n...”
It had been a stressful few weeks. You and Bucky never really worked well when you were separated for too long. You got too antsy and worried, he got uptight and frustrated. It’s just better for all parties involved for you two to at least be in contact with one another.
And maybe that type of relationship isn’t great when one of you is a highly trained spy and the other is a highly trained assassin. Your jobs aren’t the most stable and one of you is almost always being whisked away on one mission or another.
But typically you can still at least talk to each other. A phone call here, a facetime there, texts in between. When those missions do come around, you both cling to whatever you can get. And it works… for a short bit. But then you begin to miss each other, and want each other around. Which is understandable. You guys are in love and all that nonsense.
But this time was different. This mission was high high high up on the secrecy level which means no communication to the outside world. At all. And maybe you could’ve dealt with this if you were the one on the mission, been able to focus on the task at hand. But you weren’t. He was. He was the one, while still thinking of you, got to preoccupy his mind with strategies and information paramount for the mission. You were stuck back at the tower doing nothing. Sure the occasional villain popped up but being the sharp shooter you were with the teammates you had, they disappeared rather quickly.
So no, nothing too big was keeping you busy. And for once in your life, you wish it weren’t the case. You wish you didn’t have time to read that book or watch that show. Because when you sit down with the book in one hand in your mug of coffee in the other, you don’t actually read. You stare at the pages blankly and fill them with thoughts of your Bucky. Good and bad thoughts, naturally. You think of the amazing memories you guys have together and the ones you’re ready to make. But then you also think about not being able to see him again and losing the chance of a future with him. More often than not, you put your book back on the shelf with a few more tears stains than it started with.
And this was the pattern, the trend that continued on for 3 long weeks. 3 strenuous, tough, exasperating, maddening, infuriating, irritating, desperately lonely weeks. Sure you had your other teammates. Tony was still around, but often busied himself with his lab. Same went for Bruce and whatever major scientific journey he was on. You didn’t keep up with that stuff. Natasha and Clint popped in every now and then but mostly enjoyed this time off to be ordinary people. Vision and Wanda were away on some sort of mini vacation. Sure you could call them, but this was their time to relax as well and you didn’t want to be a burden. So you sat in the large rooms of the tower by yourself wearing your boyfriend’s shirts.
Sam, Steve, and Peter had all left with Bucky. Made sense. Sam, Steve, and Bucky were the trifecta. A well-oiled machine that could take down a ring of drug lords that spent a decade building their fortune in one… two minutes flat. Peter… well the boy needed some training. And this was a good learning opportunity. He’d be exposed to stake outs, long nights and days, disconnecting with everyone else. It’d be hard on him, but you knew he’d appreciate it. To be honest, you kind of missed your boys.
Sam and Steve had filled that sort of brother role to you. They teased you for almost about everything, Bucky included or not. But they also wouldn’t let anything even touch you maliciously, whether that was a bad guy or a bug. You loved them
Peter, though like a brother to you, was more like an annoying little brother. He’d protect you in any way he could but you were also protecting him a lot due to your experience and knowledge. He would train or bake with you all day if he could. He was a good kid, you liked him. He put a smile on your face.
So without your boys here to keep things lively and exciting, you were a little bored. And a bored y/n is a dangerous y/n. You found yourself going to the gym a little more because you had nothing to do. You found yourself sleeping a little more because you had nothing to do. You found yourself eating a little more because you had nothing to do. You found yourself thinking a little more because you had nothing to do.
But mostly, you found yourself missing Bucky a little more. You missed him and his smile. You missed his warm embrace and the cool touch of his metal arm. You missed sleeping in the same bed as him and waking up to his morning kisses. You missed his short hair that he lets grow out. You missed his perfectly chiseled jawline and abs, like that was fair. You just missed him.
You had been marking down the days on your calendar until he was due to come back. 3 weeks. They left May 3, they should return by May 24. That’s how math works. Fury had kept you updated, as much as he could. They were still on schedule, they should be here in 4 days.
4 days. 4 days. 4 days.
You grew more restless the closer it came. You had four days to entertain yourself, shouldn’t be too hard. Except that it was. It was impossible. You couldn’t focus on anything but those fucking four days. Those 96 hours that needed to pass. Those 5760 minutes you couldn’t stand. Those 345600 seconds that you were counting down.
The night before they were supposed to come home you got a call. Nick Fury.
It took you a moment to collect your breathing and swallow the pit in your stomach before you could answer. “Yes sir?”
“Stark won’t answer his phone. Tell him to prepare the landing pad for 2 tomorrow.”
You let out a shaky breath of relief, “They’re on their way?”
“They should depart in a few hours.”
“Thank you sir.”
You ended the call and let a small smile form on your face as you made your way down to Tony’s lab. Your Bucky was coming home.
~.~
You didn’t sleep the night before and you certainly weren’t getting any rest now. You sat at the kitchen table, mug of coffee in your hand, knee bouncing aggressively.
“Y/n, would you calm down? They’re fine.” Tony said with a hint of annoyance. He had been just as antsy due to Peter’s absence.
You chewed on your nails and began to ramble, “We don’t actually know that. Nick just gave us a time, no details. They could be dead and the plane could be auto piloted.” You glanced up from the table to see Tony glaring at you. You ran a hand through your hair, “sorry sorry. You’re right, they’re fine.”
You suddenly heard the whirlwind of the jet engines and the mechanics of the landing pad fill the air. You stood up quickly and walked over to the window. Tony followed suit. You guys watched the jet land gracefully and slowly be pulled into the tower by Tony’s genius technology. You both swiveled on your feet towards the garage door, waiting with stilled breath for your teammates to walk in. Clint and Natasha joined you guys in welcoming them back home, but were still relaxing on nearby chairs. The two of them not nearly as pent up as you and Tony were.
The door seemed to open in slow motion and soon enough the tall, tanned muscular body of Steve Rogers walked in with a duffel over his shoulder. Nat smiled and got up to meet her boyfriend with a hug and a small kiss. You don’t know how the two of them did it so easily.
Sam walked in next and gave Nat a quick hello before coming over to give you a hug. You gladly reciprocated the hug and gave him a loving kiss on the cheek. He threw his arm over your shoulder. You chuckled slightly, “Glad to see you made it back in one piece. How was the mission?”
“It was good if that little asshole didn’t keep getting in my way.” Sam picked up his voice as Peter walked in. The kid rolled his eyes at Sam, obviously used to his playful insults by now. You laughed slightly at the two before noticing the pointed gazes from the boys that just returned.
“Where’s Bucky?”
“Y/n….” The tone of his voice killed you. Your heart instantly sank and your vision blurred even if you didn’t actually know what had happened yet. Your knees buckled beneath you and you felt Sam tighten his grip around your waist to keep you upright. The whole room wore concerned expressions, surely for both you and the missing avenger.
Steve took a few cautious steps forward, “he… he didn’t come back with us.”
Tears threatened to spill over, “What do you mean he didn’t come back with you? Where is he?”
“Y/n...”
“No, Sam! Where the hell is Bucky?!” You pushed him away from you, anger dominating your actions.
“Y/n.” That was Steve’s voice. Calming and smooth. “Bucky is in Wakanda.”
You let out a gasp of both relief and worry. “Why would he be in Wakanda?”
“Something happened….” Peter’s voice was small and almost guilty. You noticed how he tugged at the collar of his hoodie, keeping it high up on his neck.
Everyone was staring at you. You in all your white hot rage and sadness. Your confusion was obviously evident. They were all scrutinizing you. Trying to figure out what you’d do next. Even you didn’t know that.
“I’m calling him.” You were out of the room before anyone could stop you but that doesn’t mean they didn’t follow. Sam and Steve were hot on your trail as you ran to your room to grab your phone.
“Y/n he isn’t going to pick up.”
“He probably won’t talk to you.”
“Y/n let us explain.”
You didn’t listen to them as you dialed the number and pressed the phone to your face. The phone rang out for what seemed like forever before the tone of the voicemail came through. You ended the call and dropped the phone onto your bed, turning on your heel with red eyes and tears running down your cheek.
You stared down his two best friends. “What. The. Hell. Happened?” You spoke slowly and your voice was low. Sam gulped but continued to explain.
“When we got to Mosul, everything was going as planned. We infiltrated the Hydra base and took them out fairly easily.”
“Why does this matter?” You just needed to know about Bucky.
Steve spoke up next, “When we moved to Kirkuk to take out the next base they were more than ready. We were trapped, Bucky was separated from the three of us. There was nothing we could do.” more tears fell onto your cheeks, “we tried y/n. We really did. Bucky tried but it was too late.”
“What happened?” Your voice broke.
Sam looked down and rubbed the back of his neck nervously before looking you dead in the eye, “he was activated.”
Your hand covered your mouth wordlessly as you shook your head in shock. “No… no. That’s- that’s not possible. Shuri wiped it all out. It was gone.”
“That’s what we all thought.” You sat down ceremoniously onto the edge of your bed.
Your hair fell around your face. You whispered, “What happened when he was… you know… the winter soldier.” You had to force back the physical gag at the thought of him being that.
“After he was activated, they opened up the barrier between us and he attacked us. We tried to contain him so we could get Bucky back but with Hydra on us too, it was nearly impossible. Me and Sam were stuck dealing with all the agents and Bucky…” Steve sighed heavily, “He went face to face with Peter.”
Your eyes widened significantly.
“They were a pretty even match. Peter is stronger than Steve so we weren’t too worried but… when a super soldier is being brainwashed, they become even stronger. Me and Steve were pretty much done with the agents and we saw that Bucky was holding Peter up by his throat, strangling him. It took all of our strength to pull him off.”
Your eyes darted to the door, “peter. Is he….?
“He’s okay. He knows it wasn’t Bucky but it was still a scary experience. Once we got Bucky back, he wouldn’t even look the kid in the eyes and he barely talked to us. He blames himself.”
You finished the thought, “so he went to Wakanda to see if they could fix it.”
“Yeah…” Sam and Steve shared a look, “There’s one other thing. Bucky said that this activation was different from the rest.”
“How so?”
“Well they used different words, so it was a different programming all together.”
“So even if the winter soldier was wiped out, this other thing wasn’t.”
You sighed and ran your hands over your eyes, “So it wasn’t that Shuri missed it. It’s that they didn’t even know it existed.” You looked at the two boys, “so hydra programmed him twice…”
“Not actually.” Natasha’s voice was sharp as she entered your room with a tablet in hand. “That second base wasn’t Hydra.” Everyone looked at her confused, “they were disguised as Hydra. They knew you guys were out wiping out the bases and used the cover of a hydra agency to lure you in. That was Leviathan, the original red room. It was the thing that made Dottie Underwood the first black widow even though that wasn’t their official name.”
You looked to her, “the first black widow? When was this?”
“The 1940s.” Steve’s breath hitched. Natasha continued, “There are 20 years unaccounted for when Bucky was supposedly kidnapped to when the first winter soldier siting was.”
“You think he spent those twenty years with this Leviathan?” Sam asked
“No, not all of it.” Natasha projected some numbers and files from her tablet onto your wall, “He was first captured by Leviathan and then brainwashed and established as a tool after 5 years. They called him the Recluse.”
“How do we know this?”
Natasha narrowed her eyes at Sam, “because I know everything. And…” she flipped through another file, “Peggy Carter had a run in with him.” Steve’s eyes widened. “She had an encounter with a younger girl named Eva who killed some of her agents, she followed Eva secretly alone for a while and found that she was one of 3 ‘assets’. Bucky being the first and the oldest.”
“Why isn’t this on any files or anything?” Sam asked.
“It was. But as she tried to find and rescue him, he was gone. We don’t know exactly how Bucky went from that to Hydra but he did.”
“And then when Hydra was SHIELD, they wiped the file.” Sam guess and Natasha confirmed that.
You didn’t speak for a while. “Does Bucky know this?” Everyone’s head snapped towards you, “Does Bucky remember that?”
Natasha shrugged, “if he did he didn’t tell anyone.”
“But he knew this one was different, right?” You looked back towards Steve and Sam and they nodded. “So we need to get this information to Shuri and T’Challa.” you moved to grab the tablet but Natasha pulled her hand away and Sam stood in front of you. You narrowed your eyes, “What are you doing?”
“I already sent the information to them. Now we just need to wait.” Natasha leveled.
“Wait?!” You repeated, “You expect me to wait?! My boyfriend almost murdered his best friends and now is getting his brain tested and you expect me to sit and wait?!” You didn’t wait for as response as you stormed out of the room and towards the training room, needing to blow off steam and knowing that they wouldn’t follow you.
You spent hours crying and destroying a punching bag before anyone approached you. You heard them the minute they walked through the door but waited til they were a step behind you to turn around and swing. The boy ducked. Peter.
You breathed heavily as you stared at the young adult. 20 years old now. You shook your head, “What do you want?”
“I want to go help Bucky.” You froze.
“What?”
“The guys told me what happened and I agree with you. He deserves to have people there with him who know him and share memories with him. Obviously they won’t agree to it and I can’t fly the quinjet. So I need you to take me to Wakanda. Ready?”
You walked over to the bench and began to unwrap your hands, “look peter… I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I’m not going to take you to Wakanda.”
“But you are going, right?” You looked at him out of the corner of your eye. He barked out a laugh, “y/n you can’t fool me. I know that look, I’ve had that look. I know you’re going so might as well take me. Oh and Wanda.”
“Wanda? She’s not even here.”
“Yeah she is. She and vision just got back and I filled her all in and she thinks that they are crazy. She’s getting packed as we speak.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, “peter we are NOT going to Wakanda tonight. And that’s that.”
~.~
“Ready to go?” you whispered as both Peter and Wanda crawled aboard the quinjet.
“Yep!” peter said with a big smile as Wanda nodded with a yawn.
“We have less than two minutes to get this bird in the air before the others will be notified.” you looked to peter, “that means I need your help. You have to wait outside the quinjet and manually open the door. Once we are out, Wanda I need you to cut the holds on the wheels with your powers and then Peter swing on up to us and we’ll let you in. Understood?” they both nodded, “Awesome. Let’s go get our Buck.”
~.~
The alarm sounded too late for the sleeping avengers too do anything. Natasha was the first one up and in the common room, being a light sleeper due to the dangers of her job. Steve was right behind her, trailing a little slowly but still active.
“Friday what’s going on?” Tony asked as he bounded into the room
“It seems that Ms. y/l/n, Mr. Parker, and Ms. Maximoff have stolen a quinjet.” Everyone let out a small sigh of relief knowing that at least no one was in immediate danger.
“You couldn’t stop them?”
“They did not activate any machinery until they took off, therefor I was not notified of any suspicious activity.”
“Can you track them?” Steve asked while running a hand over his eyes
“Unfortunately not. They seemed to have gone incognito. I will not be able to find them until they want us to find them.” Stark slumped slightly and looked at Steve, Natasha, and Sam who just came in.
“Any idea where they would have gone?”
Sam and Steve shared a look. Natasha answered for them, “Wakanda.”
Tony rolled his eyes, “Friday call T’Challa.”
“Yes sir. Connecting you to him now.”
“Stark?”
Tony ran a hand through his hair, “yeah hey cat man.” T’Challa scoffed, “We have some people on their way to you to visit a certain Popsicle.”
“Sergeant Barnes?”
“Yeah. Y/n, Wanda, and peter are on their way in a quinjet.” Steve said back.
“But Sergeant Barnes requested no visitors.” Shuri’s voice came through. “Steve he told you that directly.”
“I know that. I told them not to go, they just took off in a quinjet.”
“And you cannot summon it back?” Shuri lowered her voice, “some technology you have.”
“They’ve gone incognito, princess.” Natasha explained, “We aren’t entirely sure they’re even headed to Wakanda. It was just a guess.”
“Well, Sergeant Barnes is still awake and moving. We haven’t begun treatment yet. I’m letting him rest for a few days. Should we send them back?”
“I think that’s Bucky’s call.” Sam supplied.
“Well any and all of you are welcomed here any time. We will call you back if they make an appearance.”
“Thank you T’Challa, Shuri.” The phone call ended with an audible click and the avengers all looked to each other.
“What are we gonna do?”
Tony put his tablet on a nearby table and stalked back towards his room, “I’m going back to bed. We can’t stop them now. We’ll get a good night’s rest and head out to Wakanda tomorrow.”
“Alright fine. Everyone be ready to leave by 8 in the morning.”
“Sir yes sir capsicle.”
~.~
“What can I do for you princess?” Sam asked groggily as he answered his phone
“They never arrived.”
“What? Who?” Sam pushed himself into a sitting position and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
“Y/n. She never arrived.” That woke him up.
“Shit. Okay thanks Shuri.” Sam jumped out of bed and bounded towards Steve’s room. He knocked aggressively and waited rather impatiently outside the door for Steve to open it, wearing nothing but sweatpants.
“What do you want Sam? It’s 5 in the morning.”
“Shuri just called saying that y/n never arrived. Where else would they have gone?” his words came out panicked and scared.
Steve’s eyes widened but he remained calm, “let’s talk to Tony. I’m sure there is something we can do.”
The two of them walked quickly to Tony’s sweet and knocked on the door. He arrived a little too quickly for him to have just woken up. He walked past them wordlessly.
“Follow me, I just got the call.”
“How can we find them?”
“The only thing that I might be able to do is tap into Peter’s suit but even then… I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Steve asked waving his hands around, “don’t you track that boy?”
“I used to but when he became an adult, he’s free to make his own decisions.” Steve groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “Calm down cap, I’m still gonna try.”
Tony sat down on the swivel chair in front of a computer and leaned back casually. “Friday. Look alive baby, we’ve got work to do.” he stared up at the projections that were appearing in front of him. “Fri, start the coffee machine… this is gonna be a rough one.”
~.~
“Y/n!” Wanda whispered harshly as the plane touched down in what was not Wakanda. “Y/n! What are we doing here?”
You stormed past her as you holstered a few guns, “getting answers.” Peter grabbed your arm as you hurried past, forcing you to face him.
“Y/n this isn’t the way to do this.”
You snarled at the boy, “let me go Peter. I have things to do.”
Wanda stepped forward, “Like what? What on earth could this possibly achieve?”
“Closure!” you screamed back, tears threatening to spill over. “Fucking closure! The knowledge that there isn’t anyone out there who could cause Bucky to go through this all over again! He’s had enough.”
“We know.” Wanda’s voice was soft, her eyes filled with sorrow for you. “Y/n… we know.”
“That’s why he’s in Wakanda. So they can help him. That’s why we need to go to Wakanda.”
“But they missed it before!” you thrashed your arms around violently, “who says they won’t miss it again?”
“Is there anything else to miss?” Peter asked, his big brown eyes looking into your y/e/c ones.
“That’s the thing Pete, I don’t know.” Your voice broke slightly, “And Bucky doesn’t know. And neither of you know. And Natasha doesn’t know. Even shield doesn’t fucking know! Nobody but those people that put this evil in him know that it’s there.” You took a calming breath, “There is no other way to be sure.”
Wanda frowned but nodded, “you’re the one in charge here. I’m not happy with it but…” she hesitated slightly, “I’ll still follow you.”
Peter groaned and threw his head back, “well I won’t! I don’t want to do this. I just wanted to see Bucky and tell him that I forgive him and that it’s alright. I didn’t want to do this. My abilities are practically useless here!”
You had flown the quinjet back to Iraq, where the boys had been previously stationed, and where you tracked him down. Yesikov Makrovich. The last known operator of this Leviathan.
You bit back your anger towards Peter. He was right in a sense. You had lied to your friends and dragged them along on a dangerous mission for your own selfish purposes but you couldn’t help it! You just wanted to sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend without fearing for his sanity. You looked to Peter, “fine then. You stay here with the quinjet. Protect this with your life and we’ll be back within the hour.”
You and Wanda departed the jet and watched as peter closed the door. Wanda moved some trees around it with her powers to hide it better now that they weren’t incognito. You turned and began to walk quickly towards a crumbling building. You pulled the mask over your face and pulled the guns from your built. Time to shot shit down.
~.~
“Where could they be?!” After hours of trying to reach peter’s suit Tony was unsuccessful. The three boys sat hopelessly in the room, struggling to find another solution when a red dot suddenly pinged on the world map. It was the jet. Tony shot into a standing position and zoomed in on the location marker.
“They’re in Iraq.” Tony said confused, “Why would they go to Iraq.”
Sam scratched his head, “Well that is where our mission took place.”
“You think y/n would track down that guy?” Steve asked as he leaned against the desk.
Tony shook his head slightly, “I mean it sounds like her but… Wanda and Peter would never agree to it.”
Sam closed his eyes, “maybe… maybe they didn’t agree to it.” He opened his eyes to see the other two men looking on in confusion, “We all know how y/n gets around Bucky so it’s not that farfetched of an idea that she might lie about where they’re going to satisfy her own agenda.”
“Let’s call the jet.” Tony stated and turned around to face a control panel. He clicked a few buttons and waited with heavy breath as it connected him to the aircraft.
“Mr. Stark?”
Tony let out the breath, “Hey kid. Glad to see someone picked up.”
“Are you mad?”
Tony let out a humorless chuckle, “no no… I’m very mad but I’m glad that you’re okay. Where are y/n and Wanda?”
“They left the ship about thirty minutes ago.”
“To do what?” Sam asked sternly
“I’m not entirely sure. I thought we were headed to Wakanda.” Sam gave a smirk to Steve, “but I know she’s after the guy that did this to Bucky. I don’t know who it is though and she didn’t say the name.”
“What are you doing in the quinjet by yourself then?”
“I didn’t want to help this way, plus I really can’t do much out here.”
“Okay well I want to stay on the line with you until y/n comes back, I don’t want to miss her.”
“Yeah… sure.” A few minutes of silence passed before a lot of noises exploded inside the cabin of the jet.
“Peter?” tony asked worried, “you alright?”
“Y/n!” Peter ignored Tony, “What the hell do you think you’re doing.”
You glared at the boy and dragged the unconscious man to a corner of the quinjet. “Getting answers. Peter, I’m gonna set the jet to autopilot and you are going to stay up here.”
“What? Y/n?”
You passed by him to the controls and quickly set it up. You glanced back at the young boy. Too young. “Peter. I mean it, stay here.” Peter just nodded as you headed back into the large ship and found yourself hidden behind a wall.
“Peter?”
“She’s back.”
Tony sighed, “Yeah I figured. She has that guy with her?” Peter just nodded into the video call. Tony shook his head.
A loud grunt and bang came from the other room causing Peter to cringe and fight his instinct to go look at it. He settled into the large pilot chair and just found solace in his mentor’s presence.
With you in the other room, it was a frightening scene. You had tied up the man and placed him on one of the seats. His bloodied face lolled to one side and then the other as he slowly woke up. He blinked a few times before a sinister grin broke out onto his face. Wanda stood a few feet behind you with her arms cross, eyes narrowed. You stooped down to the man’s eye level and forced him to look at you.
“James Barnes.” Your words came out harsh and cracked.
The man clicked his tongue, “What a good soldier that man was.” You blinked back harsh tears and forced yourself to look at the man.
“Tell me what you put in his head.” The man just smiled larger. Your fist connected with his face before you could ask him again. He groaned lowly but eventually looked right back up at your face, the only new addition being a small dribble of blood running down his forehead. “What. did you. put. in his. head.” You spoke the words between clenched teeth. The man didn’t speak.
You were tempted to throw hands again, to literally knock both some sense into him and the answers out of him. But instead you stood up, wiping your hands on your suit and looking to Wanda, giving her a small nod.
“You made the wrong choice.” You spoke softly, “I was the good cop.” You saw the brief flash of fear in the man’s eyes as Wanda stepped forward, her eyes beginning to glow red.
The man fought against her powers for a brief second before giving in. Wanda smirked as she was given a clear search through his head. She stopped it a moment later and the man let out a deep breath, panting heavily. She turned to you and whispered, “He was the first one who found Bucky and he actually passed them off to Hydra once they got the Black Widow program started.”
You let out a breath of relief. This was it. This was the last thing inside of his head. You finally began to breath properly again. You turned on your heel and took a few steps towards the man who looked winded. You smirked at him, “thanks for the help.” And with that you socked him across the face, knocking him out cold. You grabbed a small rag and wiped your knuckles clean of his blood, walking back to the cockpit. Peter was chewing on his thumbnail nervously.
“Stark.” You gave the man a curt nod before taking your place behind the wheel.
“Y/n, what were you thinking?” You didn’t answer the man. “Are you gonna answer me?” Your eyes flitted to the picture of Tony Stark before going back to the controls where you took the plane off of autopilot.
Peter spoke up slightly, “Why don’t we call you back later?”
“No, Peter we need to talk about this. Y/n what you—“ You turned off the video with a small sigh and relaxed back into your seat slightly. Peter timidly looked behind him, barely seeing the form of the slumped over man.
“He’s just unconscious, don’t worry kid.” You said knowing what his unuttered question was. You sighed slightly and flipped the autopilot on once more. You turned to face peter, “I don’t think I was ever going to kill him. I just wanted some answers and for him to be brought to justice.”
“What are you going to do with him?”
“I’m gonna let T’Challa deal with him. Speaking of…” You glanced at the map, “We’re about thirty minutes out so get ready.”
~.~
Bucky sat on the edge of his bed, his fingers fiddling with his phone. He had meant to call you the minute he got it back, he had been thinking of it the entire time he was on the mission. But then that happened and he just felt so… dirty. He didn’t deserve you. You deserved the world and all you got was some lowlife criminal who brought death to everything he touched. He sighed and tossed his phone onto his pillow, running his hands through his tangled hair. He needed to get it cut.
He smiled slightly at the thought of you running your hands over his scalp before tugging gently and commenting on how long it had gotten. Are you gonna keep it? You always asked for his opinion before passing your own judgment. Bucky was undecided on his hair. He used to always keep it long, not wanting to risk showing his face to any professional. But now… now he had the safety and the time and the want to take care of it.
There was a light knock on his door. He sat up and walked to it, unlocking the door and opening it. His eyes widened at the sight of Queen Nakia and Okoye on the other side.
Bucky smiled politely as the queen got straight to business, “There is a situation.”
Bucky fought back the grimace, not wanting to get involved in anything serious before he goes back in cryo. “How can I help?”
“Y/n is on her way. She’s about ten minutes out.” Bucky’s eyes bulged out of his head.
“What… what? Why is she coming here?”
“She found out from your colleagues about what happened. We actually expected her last night but she never arrived. We just got word from Stark that she…” Nakia hesitated. Okoye stepped up.
“She tracked down and captured the man that caused all this damage. She has him in his custody and is turning him over to us.” Okoye sighed slightly, “We are telling you this because she has requested to see you.”
“Do not worry Sergeant Barnes, if you do not wish to see her then you will not. However, I doubt Shuri will continue on with Cryo until she knows more about this. It may take a few days, even weeks.”
“Thank you Queen Nakia. Okoye.” Bucky nodded to both of the women before shutting the door and flopping onto his bed. He wanted to see you, he really did but not when he felt like this. He heard loud turbines and looked out the window to see the quinjet landing smoothly on the flight deck. You were driving. His heart strings were pulled as he saw you through the small dirty window swipe some hair out of your face. You stood up and strode to the back of the quinjet. Bucky sighed once more, not knowing what to do.
It boiled down to like three options: he could go out and greet you on the small runway with the royals of Wakanda, he could wait and see if the guards can keep you from his room, or more likely you would show up at his door anyways. Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
He watched through the clear glass as Wanda exited the plane, a small backpack thrown over her shoulder. Bucky’s chest tightened as Peter stepped out next, his mask dangling between his fingers as he followed behind Wanda closely. Bucky waited with stilled breath as his eyes searched for your frame. A startled gasp escaped his lips as a man stumbled out of the jet, his hands bound behind his back and traces of blood across his face. You stepped out next, the top of your uniform folded down around your hips, a thin tank top covering your torso. You kept pushing the man forward until two of the Dora Milaje stepped forward and took the man out of your grasp. Bucky watched as you and Shuri shared a small hug before you went to shake T’Challa’s hand in greeting. He gestured for you, Wanda, and Peter to follow him into the palace. Bucky felt his breathing pick up as he thought of the fact that you were suddenly going to be in the vicinity of him.
His chest moved up and down rapidly as he thought about what happen. What happened on that dreadful mission. How he lost control, again. How no matter how much help he seeks he will never be normal. He will never be safe. He’ll hurt you. Just like he hurt peter. Oh god, Peter. Bucky’s hands gripped at his hair as he couldn’t get rid of the image of peter struggling in his grasp and choking for air. The bruises that peppered the young boy’s neck caused tears to fall out of Bucky’s eyes. He didn’t want to hurt anyone else. He just wanted to rest, to be free. To be actually free. To have nothing, absolutely nothing, inside his head. He was tired of being someone else’s soldier instead of being his own. He had already hurt too many of his teammates, his friends, his family. And he would kill himself if he ever hurt you. You were the best thing that ever happened to him and he’d be a wreck if he ever lost you, let alone if he was the reason you were gone.
Bucky let out a shaky breath. She’s probably disgusted by me. She’ll never want to touch me, to have me touch her. She’ll want me dead for hurting Peter. She’ll be so angry and disappointed that I let-”
A light knock on the door broke Bucky out of his train of thought. Bucky didn’t respond, too afraid of who was behind that door. Another small knock came, this one just a tad louder but nowhere near aggressive. “Bucky?” it was you. Bucky sucked in a sharp breath of air, his eyes fluttering to the door. His vision was blurry with unshed tears. He heard you sigh, “Bucky, I’m not going to come in if you don’t want me to. Just know that… sigh, I’m here. Okay? I’m right here for you.” A heavy pause, “I’ll be upstairs in the guest quarters if you need me, okay? If you need anything.” You waited a moment to see if he would respond but nothing came. Bucky just stared at the door until he heard your footsteps disappear slowly. He waited until you were out of ear shot to slowly get up and move to the door. He rested his flesh hand on the doorknob, contemplating if he should open the door or not. Should he go after you? Should he stay? Bucky let go and slid to the floor, his back pressed against the wood. He dropped his head into his hands. He didn’t know who he was anymore.
~.~
You didn’t see Bucky that entire day. You knew he was shaken up and maybe it wasn’t the best idea to sneak away to Wakanda but you’d be damned if you weren’t there for your boyfriend in every way possible. Wanda and Peter spent most of their time in the lab with Shuri, after they had showered and napped of course. You however, you hadn’t even sat down yet. You stole some light sweatpants and with the dirty tank top you were wearing earlier you took to the palace’s gym. You had wrapped and taped your hands tightly a few minutes ago and now you were pounding away at a punching bag. You grunted with each punch and hair flew out of your ponytail every time you moved.
“I see you have found the gym, Ms. y/l/n.” You sighed lightly and pushed the fallen strands of hair out of your face.
You nodded your head at the new person that entered, “Queen Nakia, how are you today?”
She smiled and took a few steps forward, “I’m wonderful. The sun is shining brightly, and the crops are being harvested as we speak, it is a good day in Wakanda. How are you doing?”
You continued to avoid her eyeline, walking over to the wall where your phone and water bottle sat. You shrugged slightly as you crouched down, beginning to unwrap your hands. “I’m doing okay.”
Nakia scoffed slightly and walked over to you, standing near your body. “Oh I can see that. It’s been six hours since you’ve arrived, and you still haven’t showered.”
You threw the sweaty wraps onto the floor as you stood, now standing eye to eye with the young queen. “why would I shower if I wanted to work out?”
She countered you easily, “Why workout when you could take care of yourself?” You just looked away, grabbing your bottle. “I know you are upset and stressed at the moment but think about what Sergeant Barnes is going through.”
You forced yourself to calm down and nodded, “I know I’m trying to. It’s just hard to see someone you love going through something this hard.” You looked at her with watery eyes, “I just didn’t want him to go through it alone.”
She smiled at you, “I understand completely. However, you cannot speak to me and say these words as if you were not acting on a selfish thought as well.”
You huffed and ran your hand through your hair, “of course I was acting on a selfish thought! I wanted to see him before he went into cryo. He’s my boyfriend for god’s sake! I just… I thought he would want to see me as well.”
She laid a gentle hand on your upper arm, “I promise you that he wants to see you… he’s just a little lost at the moment. The mission took its toll on him.”
You sighed, “I know.”
“You know, sergeant Barnes is a wonderful man.” You smiled and nodded at her words. You did know. Nakia continued, “I talked with him for a few minutes when he first arrived, trying to make sure he was comfortable. Of course, he is very familiar with our palace due to the time he spent here a few years ago but I was just being friendly.” She gestured to a bench nearby, “would you like to take a seat.”
You nodded and followed her to the bench, sitting down carefully and taking a sip of water as you listened to the graceful words of the queen.
She smiled at you, “He ended up opening up to me mostly out of pure exhaustion from keeping it in. He was embarrassed that he was activated again, and ashamed. He was mad at himself for hurting Mr. Parker and putting his friends in danger. He was also mad that there was yet another thing out of control, he thought that he finally had a handle on his life.” She sighed slightly, “he was also scared. He was scared that he would hurt you or that you would hate him for what he did.”
You shook your head furiously, “I could never hate him.”
Nakia smiled at you, “he knows that, he does. It’s just… not his most thought of idea at the moment. Right now, anger and confusion cloud his brain and his judgement. You just need to give him time. However… while you are waiting you need to take care of yourself. That way when he’s ready to talk to you, you’re ready to listen.”
You nodded and smiled at Nakia, “thank you so much Nakia. Who knew that talking is a much better way to clear your head than punching something.”
Nakia laughed gently, “while I think Okoye would disagree with you, I am very happy that I could be helpful. I’ll have someone send up a fresh pair of clothes for you, so you can get out of that dirty shirt.”
You looked down at the sweaty tank top and laughed slightly before grimacing, “yeah when I get frustrated I tend to not care about appearance.” Nakia laughed as the two of you walked out of the large gym.
~.~
Bucky did come to you later that night, when you were up reading a book you found in T’Challa’s extensive library. It was a small knock on the door, one you almost didn’t hear until his heavy breath made his presence known. You unlocked the door quickly and pulled him into a hug.
You quickly pulled away though, “I’m sorry I should’ve asked first. How are you—” Bucky cut you off as he wrapped his strong arms around you and held you close. You reciprocated the hug with as much love as you could. You felt his cold tears drip onto the top of your head and you pulled away slightly to cup his face and wipe them away.
You spent the next three hours just listening to Bucky talk, wiping away the few stray tears that fell or pushing his hair back behind his ear. He sometimes would trail off and you would just reassure him that everything was okay. That he wasn’t scaring you away or pushing you from him. That you were right here, and you were gonna stay right here.
It ended with the two of you cuddled close on the bed, his arms wrapped protectively around you as you laid your head on his chest.
“I’m sorry.” He said for what was probably the millionth time.
You huffed slightly and pulled away to look at his face, “stop apologizing Buck. You know I don’t blame you.”
He nodded tightly, “I know… I just feel the need to apologize.”
You sighed and cupped his cheek gently, “okay then. I forgive you. Even though I don’t think there is anything to forgive, just know that I forgive you 100%. I’m not mad at you, I’m not angry with you. There is no frustration or resentment in my heart. I just want you to be okay.”
He smiled at you and pressed a light kiss to your palm, “I’m getting there. Much better now that you are here though, Doll.”
You smiled and ran your hair through his scalp tugging on his locks gently. You bit your lip, “it’s getting so long.” He smiled at you and your predictability. “are you gonna keep it?”
Bucky shrugged and squeezed your hip slightly, “I don’t know yet.”
You smiled and ran your hand through it again, “well just know that I think you are handsome either way.”
He pressed a loving kiss to your lips, “thanks doll.”
You pressed another one to his in return, “of course. It’s a yes by the way.” He raised his eyebrow in confusion as you giggled slightly.
You didn’t want to bring it up, wanting instead to let him think that he would surprise you, but you couldn’t hold it anymore. You just loved him too much.
“what’s a yes?” He asked, confusion still evident on his face.
You rolled your eyes, “to your proposal. It’s a yes. I will marry you.”
His eyebrows shot up, “how did you know about that?”
You giggled again, “you aren’t very good at hiding the ring.”
He laughed with you before kissing you passionately, “it’s a yes?”
You laughed and nodded, kissing him again. “It’s a hell yes.”
He sighed as he pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes contently. You frowned slightly, “I didn’t mean to give it away or take away your proposal. I just got really excited.”
He laughed, “it’s okay. I was pretty sure that I was gonna botch the proposal anyway. I always get so nervous. Plus, if this wasn’t the most us way to propose then I don’t know what is.”
You laughed and nodded again, “very true. I love you James Barnes.”
He smiled and kissed you again, “and I love you future Ms. James Barnes.”
You scoffed, “that’s Ms. James y/l/n-Barnes.”
He smiled and nodded, “you’re damn right it is.”
~.~
You, Wanda, and Peter ended up staying in Wakanda for a week before Bucky was scheduled to go back into cryo. You stood in a long corridor with him, the two of you looking out a large window at the beautiful Wakandan scenery.
He nudged your shoulder with his, “it’ll only be four months.”
You sighed, “that’s easy for you to say… you’ll be asleep for three of them.”
“two and a half but I’ll still miss you.”
You glanced up at him with watery eyes causing him to pull you into his side, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”
“Do me a favor and wear the ring while I’m gone.”
You gave him a watery laugh and smiled, “of course.”
“Bucky, we’re ready for you!” Shuri called from the end of the hallway. Bucky nodded at her and turned to walk, pulling you with him. You held onto his flesh arm tightly as the two of you went to the medical wing. The two of you paused as you came across the machine.
Bucky stopped and turned to look at you, cupping your face in his hands. “I’ll see you soon okay?” You nodded. He leaned down and pressed a loving kiss to your lips, your hands resting on his waist and gripping his shirt tightly.
He pulled away before pressing another small kiss to your forehead. You smiled at him, “how about when you come home you can propose to me for real and we’ll get your hair cut.”
He smiled at you as he shook his head fondly, “sounds like a plan.” He pressed another quick kiss to your lips as Shuri cleared her throat. “I’ve gotta go. Dr. Shuri is getting impatient.”
You laughed slightly as Shuri rolled her eyes. You nodded sadly as he let go of your face and walked over to the machine. You knew that this was for the better and that he was safe but a part of you was scared of losing him again. You waved to him as he stepped in and waiting until the door closed, and the small window was covered to turn around and walk back to the quinjet where Wanda and Peter were waiting for you.
Wanda smiled gently at you as you walked on, “you doing okay?”
You sighed as you sat down in the pilot seat, “I am, because I know he’s gonna be okay.”
~.~
“is that an engagement ring?!” Sam’s shriek filled the entire tower. You just facepalmed.
398 notes · View notes
persephoneiam · 5 years
Text
Snow White: What Everyone Gets Wrong
This is my very first post in my “What Everyone Gets Wrong about [insert Disney movie]” series.  Though some facts are sprinkled into this post for context, most of this is an opinion. Nothing in this text is meant to be insulting or offensive. Thank you.
To start off here is some background for those of us who need a refresher:
This was the world's first full-length animated feature
It was released in 1937
The film is only 1.5 hours long
4.5 years of work went into making it
The film was completed 2.5 weeks before its premiere
Now that we know the basic facts, let’s talk about the things that everyone gets wrong/ that tick me off.
Number 1: Necrophilia
Tumblr media
Now, I get that memes are supposed to be funny, but the random corpse thing just doesn’t make sense. Firstly, she’s in a coma, not dead. Secondly, this kiss isn’t sexual in nature; its a goodbye. He really liked her (as seen in the first few minutes of the movie) and now she’s gone. She’s a fourteen-year-old that left too soon. It's sad with no sexual motivations involved. That said, a person can interpret this however they want. Which brings me to my third point: the timing of the film. As I stated earlier, this film was completed 2.5 weeks before it’s premiere. There was a huge time (and budget) crunch for this film. In the Brothers Grimm telling of this story (which Walt Disney decided to base this film on), Snow White awakens from the apple-induced coma when the dwarfs are carrying her coffin to the prince’s castle so she can be buried in the family crypt for whatever reason, and a dwarf trips, causing the apple piece that had been stuck in her throat to dislodge and fly out of her mouth, allowing her to wake up without the kiss. Having such little time and budget, I doubt the animators could have put what would have equaled an extra half hour (the coffin carrying and wedding where the evil queen would dance to her death) of animation for the film. That’s not even including the cursed corset or poisoned comb that were taken out of the story. Not to mention each frame was hand drawn, making even the smallest scene a time-consuming piece of work. Who wants to draw all the extra stuff involved to take the coffin to a castle somewhere far off? It’s much easier to draw a kiss and be done with it. Why else do you think they cut out a bunch of animation backstory by including the written story in the middle of the film (as seen below)?
Tumblr media
Number 2: She’s Not Feminist Enough/ All She Does is Cook and Clean
Tumblr media
What the actual heck is it with this argument? I get that we want our children to be strong, independent people who realize there is more to life than being with a man/woman/significant other, but why should strength and independence only mean going into the workforce? My dad lost his job, so he was a stay-at-home dad with me and my little sister for a couple years. It was awesome! Not to mention his value as a human being didn’t diminish every time he touched a mop or dusted. He taught his children how to keep a home tidy and guess what? I didn’t have to pay anyone to do my laundry when I got to college. I was a better-adjusted adult because I knew how to keep a home, and I was healthy to boot because I know how to cook. 
Feminism is about the equality of the sexes, so its really easy to bash Snow White because she cooks and cleans and takes on traditional gender roles. But the thing everyone seems to forget is the fact that this movie was made during the Great Depression and premiered two years before World War II. As large as the Disney empire has become, there is no way it could have possibly seen the future and made a film that was more in line with today’s feminism standards. 
Furthermore, this movie is set in 16th century (1500s) Germany and made in 1937. It’s history. As in, an amazing, revolutionary work of art that changed film forever. Yes, it is very traditional in its approach to what Snow White does/ doesn’t do, but she’s a fourteen-year-old fugitive in 16th century Germany! She doesn’t have a lot of options. Keeping house in exchange for food and shelter is not a bad choice considering the only other option is prostituting herself. Also, the way she takes charge of the house is pretty awesome. She doesn’t take any sh*t from the dwarfs (as seen by her “go outside and wash” speech). She may only be fourteen, but she’s managing things like she’s the next CEO of Disney.
History aside, it seems like all the parents I meet that don’t like/ don’t show the film only do so because they don’t want to encourage gender roles. I get it, but telling kids that cleaning and cooking aren’t useful or that you can’t be strong and independent if you like/subscribe to traditional gender roles is kinda backward. Afterall, isn’t feminism about the right to choose? If I want to be a stay-at-home mom and my sister wants to be the next Steve Jobs, aren’t we both entitled to go for it?
Number 3: Saved By a Man
Tumblr media
This is just a continuation of my above point. Snow White is fourteen. The prince (who is credited as ‘The Prince’ because Snow White and the Dwarfs are the only characters with names) is only seventeen. Now in Europe in 1500, a girl as young as twelve could get married no problem. Most girls did. Or they became nuns. All of that doesn’t really matter when your audience is Americans in 1937. What matters is that a studio just completed the first, full-length entirely cel-animated feature. When Walt Disney started this project, he wanted to focus on the dwarfs. He gave them names and personalities. By the end of the film, however, the focus had turned to the relationship between Snow White and her stepmother. All really good things. That said, the plot changed a bit from the start to the finish. The original storyboard was much more comical and very different from the storyline we know today. With all these changes, it makes sense that the one element that stayed the same through production was the happy ending where Snow White and her prince marry. It’s a classic ending, and there is no reason that true love shouldn’t win out in the end. Of course, the true love argument becomes problematic considering they’ve only met once before the coma, but considering the film is only an hour and twenty-eight minutes, I think we can forgive the quick progression of their relationship. 
Also, it’s not so much Snow White’s beauty that makes the queen jealous, it's her youth. Snow White is young and growing into her body whereas the queen is aging. But that’s a whole discussion for theorists that I don’t want to get into.
In conclusion, Snow White is a classic film that doesn’t deserve to be hated on as much as it is. Because of its success, it paved the way for many of my childhood favorites, and I am thankful for that. She may not wield a sword and shield, but Snow White is still a bada** princess who teaches the value in being kind and making the best of a terrible situation. I for one think that those are still relevant lessons no matter what time period you are watching it in.
This has been a rant. Thank you.
36 notes · View notes
mst3kproject · 6 years
Photo
Tumblr media
The Brain from Planet Arous
I told you I'd get to this one.  It was directed by Nathan H. Juran from The Deadly Mantis, and it stars Joyce Meadows from The Girl in Lover's Lane, Ken Terrell from The Indestructible Man, and everybody's least-favourite greasy pontificator of things he knows bupkis about, John Agar.  The plot's about an evil brain from another planet.  It's as if the movie has a sign taped to its back that says MST3K ME, and who am I to refuse?
Two scientists, Steve and Dan, are picking up strange gamma rays from Mystery Mountain (the name Mystery Mountain is a good indicator of the level of storytelling we’re going to be seeing here).  They head out to investigate and only Steve returns... but he's different, somehow.  For one thing, he's suddenly much better at kissing.  For another, the family dog tries to attack him.  And the last straw, he's talking about taking over the world!  Yep, Steve's been taken over by an evil alien brain monster named Gor!  Fortuanately for the Earth, a second brain, called Vol, has been sent to track Gor down.  With Vol's help, Steve's girlfriend Sally may be able to save him – and the entire world!
The main attraction of The Brain from Planet Arous, besides its silly premise, is obviously the special effects. Gor and Vol themselves are generally represented by immobile images of brains with glowing eyes superimposed on the film, while somebody delivers lines in an echoey voice.  This is pretty funny by itself.  Then when the film needs Gor to be solid in order to interact with objects in a scene, we discover that it is actually an inflatable brain hanging from a string, trailing a spinal cord behind it like a tail!  Steve proceeds to attack this with an axe, making me a little sad that Gor's end wasn't to be popped like a balloon.
Tumblr media
A lot of effort clearly went into this prop, with its light-up eyes and elaborate paint job depicting the folds and wrinkles of the cerebral cortex.  It's got a divide between the hemispheres and a little cerebellum, but no attempt to reproduce the structure of the major lobes of the human brain.  The latter is a bit unfortunate, since there's a major plot point about how Gor can only be killed by being stabbed in the fissure of Rolando (more properly known as the central sulcus, which divides the parietal and frontal lobes).  How we're supposed to know which of Gor's many squiggly bits is the fissure of Rolando is beyond me.
Then there are Gor's 'powers'.  Its entering Steve's body is represented by the superimposed brain shrinking and fading away while sort of overlapping with the image of John Agar on he film.  There's a bit where Gor blows up a plane with its mind, which is of course achieved by blowing up a model, bits of which remain twirling on the string. Gor incinerates people by having a bright light pulse while they writhe and fall down, and the super-explosive, of course, is stock footage of an atom bomb test.  The only effect that really works is the way Steve's eyes go silver when Gor uses these powers.  This appears to be accomplished by reflective contact lenses and it's quite creepy-looking, especially when we see Steve's face partially hidden by blinds or distorted by a water cooler.
Tumblr media
The second most MSTable feature is the dialogue, which borders on the indescribable.  The existence of a place called fucking Mystery Mountain is only the beginning.  Let me give you some of my favourites.  At the beginning of the movie:
SALLY: “Do you know it's 3 o'clock and you mad scientists haven't even stopped for lunch?” DAN: “No wonder I've been getting insulting messages from my stomach!”
Or, when Vol shows up to ask for help:
VOL: “You can help me save the Earth from a terrible experience. Yes, the whole Earth.”
And Gor gives villain speeches that Lex Luthor would declare too cheesy:
GOR: “Power?  That's what everyone wants!  That's why the office boy wants to be the boss, that's why the private wants to be the general.  Power!  And I've got it!”
There are also some headache-inducing continuity errors.  First Steve says nobody has been to Mystery Mountain since 1900, then he says that he was there just last winter!  Later, Sally agrees that she's been on the mountain before, and Gor's cave is a new formation.  I guess main characters don't count as 'somebody'.  Or how about where Steve and Dan work?  The scientist investigating the radiation at the plane wreck talks to Steve as if they work together at Indian Springs (Creech Air Force Base, Nevada), and yet Gor had to ask to come to the atom bomb test as an observer, rather than as somebody directly involved.  I have no idea why Gor lets George the dog hang around after George attacked Gor the first time they met.
Tumblr media
So the movie is very cheap and very bad, but there's actually some pretty interesting stuff in it.  Gor and Vol's species has evolved beyond bodies and language and food and all that, but Gor at least does not find this to be the desirable state the Observers would have us believe.  Most of us probably think of the archetypal 'emotionless alien' as being like Star Trek's Vulcans, who consider emotions a primitive thing that they are better off for having discarded.  Gor, on the other hand, is more like the Kelvans from the second season episode By Any Other Name, who discover that having bodies and being subject to needs and emotions is a lot of fun.  Food is delicious!  Kissing is great!  Booze is amazing! Man is a Feeling Creature, and because of it, the Greatest in the Universe, and Gor wants some of that action!
And what is Gor's favourite physical need?  Why, sex, of course, as demonstrated by its behaviour towards Sally, whom it describes as a very exciting female.  I think the reason it took Possessed Steve a week to return from Mystery Mountain is because that's how long it took Gor to get tired of sitting in its cave jerking off.
I won’t apologize for making you think about John Agar masturbating. The movie made me think about it, so we have to suffer together.
Tumblr media
The Brain from Planet Arous actually has a weirdly ambiguous attitude towards sexual desire.  Gor has no libido of its own, so what it feels for Sally while in Steve's body must be entirely Steve – and it's evidently pretty potent, since Gor attempts to rape her the first time it sees her, and is stopped only by an attack from George the dog.  Steve without Gor, however, does not behave as if he's physically attracted to Sally at all.  In the first scene, when she arrives to announce she's made lunch, he kisses her chastely on the cheek and then resumes talking science.  He's not even particularly interested in the food, since it's Dan who repeatedly insists that they stop and eat!
Steve isn't exactly our hero in this movie, spending most of it as a helpless victim, but he's clearly supposed to be sympathetic and generally a good person despite being John Agar.  We must therefore assume that it's Steve's attitude towards love that the movie considers right and proper.  Steve kisses Sally on the lips at the end, but still not with the ferocity Gor did.  At the beginning of the movie, in the time when we're supposed to be getting to know Steve as Steve, he almost entirely ignores her, as if she's more of a housekeeper than a girlfriend.  All his passion is for ill-defined science.  It seems as if humanity, as represented by this man, is well on our way to evolving into space brains ourselves, unmoved by food or sex or indeed by anything but pure rational thought.
The actual hero of the movie, I guess, is Vol – Vol has come to Earth to stop Gor, and with help from Sally and her father, it succeeds.  Vol, too, decides to occupy a body in order to work on Earth without being noticed.  Sally offers hers, but Vol ends up choosing George the dog, and as far as we can tell it remains entirely undistracted by George's needs and desires.  Maybe we're supposed to assume this has something to do with the dog having a less complex mind than a human being... but in that case, less thought surely ought to mean that the natural urges would be even more compelling!  Instead, the idea seems to be that Vol has more willpower than Gor, and is therefore a better being.  Again, things like sex and hunger are simply irrelevant to a truly great mind.
Tumblr media
For this reason, the movie would make for an interesting double feature with It Conquered the World.  Both depict emotion as purely human, but while Beulah feared emotions, Gor revels in them. It Conquered the World suggested that all emotions are equally essential to the human experience, whether love or hate, joy or rage – The Brain from Planet Arous divides emotions into good and evil, contrasting Steve's love with Gor's lust, Steve's humility with Gor's arrogance.  Of the two approaches, The Brain from Planet Arous' is the more cliché and therefore less interesting one, and I'm not sure how much the movie was meant to explore its themes and sexual hangups.  It may have been intended as nothing more than another 'aliens stand in for Red Scare' film.
Also, I gotta ask... has a John Agar movie ever had a decent ending?  Because this one is shit.  Steve asks Sally how she knew that Gor could be killed by a blow to the fissure of Ro-lan-dooooooo!  Ahem.  So she explains about Vol in George's body, but Vol has already departed.  Steve then laughs at her for imagining things, despite the fact that she clearly got the information from somewhere and he has himself been doing psychological battle with an alien brain creature!  I hope she dumped him.  Maybe she could marry Vol instead.  He'd be just as good in bed, and far more respectful.
11 notes · View notes
Text
The fieldtrip (chapter 2): Sorrow and happiness in her eyes
I did my best :D I hope you like where I’m going. It may be going a bit fast, but to hell with it. It’s my fic and I am too excited about this :D
 It took me a while to find my room, but when I saw the door I ran towards it and after I was in my room I slammed it shut. How could I let all of these girls affect me so much? I learned to live with it. But I guess being on an unknown planet, did make me feel a bit more insecure that usually. And let’s be honest. No god would like to see someone like me cry in public, neither did I want to cry in front of them.
I let myself slide down the wall to sit on the ground, I started to cry. Not too loud, I didn’t want anyone to hear me crying that loud. But I did need to let it go a bit.
I curled myself up and let the tears flow. After a few minutes I felt something sit next to me, which wasn’t real of course (since I’ve locked the door) and after that I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Everything okay?” I did scare a little bit, but this person was obviously not going to do me any harm.
“It’s alright. It’s just me. Loki. I don’t know whether that’ll make you feel any better. But here I am none the less.” My heart skipped a beat. The way he looked at me in the Library was very “evil” or “wanting”. But this time he was very kind and caring. I stopped crying.
“Yeah, I am now. I just didn’t want to tear up in front of all you gods and stuff you know?”
“That’s the reason for walking away. But I am asking why these tears came in the first place.” Great, now I have to talk about my feeling with both a man and a god over whom I’ve been diehard fangirling about since 2011.
“My classmates aren’t the kindest people on earth. I just have good grades and they’re jealous of that I guess.” Loki looked at me like he was trying to figure out one of the hardest puzzles ever. Which made me even more insecure, which made me start crying again.
“Oh no darling, don’t cry. I don’t really know what to say. I’d kill them, but I guess that’s not you.”
“I don’t know! All I want for them is to just leave me alone and let me be myself.”
“So just be yourself and fuck them. Don’t let them ruin your trip. My brother said you were having a great time already, don't let those mewling quims take that away from you.” Loki winked at me and I couldn’t help but smile at him.
“That’s more like it.”
“Yeah.” I was still a bit shy about looking him in the eyes. God stop it Y/N!
“So, I’ve been picking up that Thor likes you a lot….” Now Loki was the insecure one?! Did he honestly think Thor was crushing on me? We spoke like 2 times.
“He’s nice. Just as I imagined really.” Loki looked up at me with a questioning look.
“So that’s all?”
“Yep. Why?”
“Nothing! I should be going back, before they think we’re doing more.” Loki hurried himself out of my room. But he forgot that my door was locked. So… he ran into the door, bumped his head and fell on the ground.
“FUCK!” Was what Loki said.
“How did you get in here in the first place? Are you okay?”
“I used my Seidr.” Loki stood up and rubbed his head.
“Your what?”
“Seidr. Oh I assume you’d be used with the term magic?”
“Yeah that term I know. Are you sure you’re okay? It looks like you’re bleeding.”
“Pfff, no I’m not.” Loki unlocked my door and walked out of it as quickly as he could. I’d say he was nervous.
After a while a servant stopped by with some food. She placed it on the table and left without saying anything the whole time.
“Okay. Thanks to you too.” I said with a small voice. There was a little card lying next to the plate with food
 Hey Y/N, I hope you’re feeling better. Sorry I rushed of in a hurry, my father strictly said that we were to communicate as little as possible with the humans. Didn’t want to break the rule on day 1. I hope you’re okay. I’m not. I was really bleeding and needed stitches. It was nice to see the healers again after a long time, but I just hate the healing hall. -Loki
I couldn’t feel better! The person whom I only wanted to see for one time, has been speaking to me and sending me notes if I’m doing okay! It does all feel very rushed, but to hell with it. This trip will only be one month, and I plan on making the best out of it.
I grabbed my phone and opened Spotify. I was so glad I downloaded all these songs to be listened to in offline mode, because there was no WIFI or whatsoever here. I also brought a big powerbank that was charged by the sunlight, so I was not going to be left alone without any music. I put on some soft music and fell asleep.
I woke up the next day with loud banging on the door by the one and only Steve.
“OMG Y/N wake up! We’re late for breakfast!” I opened the door and Steve basically fell into the room. When I laughed and closed the door I noticed a bump in the door with a little bit of blood on it. Steve did too.
“Y/N, what happened! Are you okay?” I explained him everything.
“Holy shit, you lucky bitch.” We laughed
“I just hope he’s okay, he wrote me this later in the evening.” I also showed him the not.
“When is the wedding hun?”
“Oh my god Steve stop!”
“What?! This is so cute? And I thought he was like the murdering Loki from the movies.”
“I don’t know. He’s definitely not that, but he does have some similarities. I just view him as a regular person, even if he does looks and sounds like Tom’s Loki.”
“Good Idea. Now hurry up! We need to eat and I’m starving as well.” Steve was right, we had strict timeframes when it came to breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I put on the same clothes as yesterday, but with a royal blue shirt this time. It looked great with my Y/H/C hair.
When I seated myself at the table again everyone was deadly quiet. A few of those annoying classmates only looked at me but quickly looked away. I was a bit shocked. I quickly poked Steve and whispered:
“What’s going on? Yesterday everyone was loudly offending me and now they won’t even look me in the eyes?”
“Thor gave them a little talk. I quickly told him that I was your best friend and not enemy, or he would’ve taken me down as well.”
“Oh my god did he punch people or something?!” “No just threatened, miss Avery was almost going to cancel the trip, but she did agree that no student should insult another student like that.” Okay, so now Thor threatened my classmates to stop bothering me OR ELSE!? I did feel very special, since two princes of Asgard did not take shit from nobody and definitely did not like them insulting me. I did want to figure out what was behind is exactly.  I searched the room for Thor and I spotted him, he was laughing and eating (like it was 9 PM if you know what I mean). When he noticed I smiled at him and mouthed thank you. He smiled and nodded his head and mouthed your welcome. Whom I didn’t see was Loki. I was afraid something bad might have happened with his head.
After everyone was done with breakfast we had until lunch to roam around on our own. After that we had to be in the healing halls. I giggled when they said that but stopped after someone was about to ask why I was giggling. I immediately went to the library, to find Loki and to have a better look at the books. I was at the library, but I couldn’t find any Loki. So, I decided to stop looking (for I had no idea where he could otherwise be). I roamed around the library until it was time for lunch, I ate, still no Loki, and after that we went to the healing halls. The healing halls were amazing. I myself was doing the medical studies, so this was amazing to see how the Asgardians did it. I was too late to help Loki since he basically ran away yesterday, but I would’ve actually liked to show him I can “heal” too.  The healers showed us everything and how it “kind of” worked. They had these automatic machines that could tell what was wrong and they fixed it. No doctors needed, just nurses/healers. After a while they showed us the ward where they DID the healing and where the ill would stay. And guess who I saw there. LOKI. I quickly walked away from the group to walk up to him. He looked a bit shy and awkward when he saw I was walking towards him.
“Hey, how are you. Again, I’m very sorry for that little wound on your head.”
“I’m okay. And it wasn’t your fault. I was the one to run into the door with most of my strength.” We both laughed.
“I could’ve healed that as well” I pointed at his wound.
“You could?” Loki had an amazed look on his face.
“Yeah, I’m doing a medical study, I know how to “heal” people as well.”
“Should’ve known that earlier to prevent this from happening. I hate the healers, they’re not very friendly and everyone is now gossiping that the prince of Asgard is laying in the healing halls. Not my favorite activity.”
“Your wound is not that bad, they should’ve sent you away the minute they put a Band-Aid on it.” It really wasn’t bad, it didn’t even need stitches. The wound couldn’t have been too bad since the reason that caused it wasn’t that lethal either.
“Well, in that case…..” Loki jumped out of the bed and took my hand.
“What are you….?”
“Come on, let ME show you around, and not those sulky servants.” We walked to the opposite side of where my group was going. I knew I was going to be in trouble for this later, but it felt too good!
Loki did show me around properly. He even showed me some forbidden places.
“I can’t be here, they said this place is forbidden.”
“It is. It’s were my, Thor’s and Hela’s chambers are. We don’t really like mortals peeking around in our private things.” I could tell Loki didn’t mean anything bad by it, he just talked like that. A bit looking down at others but being very sarcastic and confident about it.
“Oh…” I said a bit offended.
“But I do want to show you, See. The red door is for Thor, the black one for Hela and the green one.. Well, that’s me.”
“Yeah, you’re the reason I can’t wear any green. And since it’s my favorite color, I had to have a whole new wardrobe since none of my green clothes that I packed were allowed.” I plagued. Loki laughed and told me the whole REAL reason behind it.
After that he showed me more forbidden areas: the kitchen, armory, the throne room etc. We ended up in the royal gardens. It was beyond beautiful here.
“It looks amazing here!” I was uncontrollably excited.
“Well, I went to another amazing place.” Loki laughed
“Where?”
“Your house.”
“You went where?!” Loki smirked.
“YOUR house. The one where you usually stay right? I just saw your room though, and what I found there……
OMG he went to my house?! What did he find?!
0 notes
Text
Welcome to Night Vale Questions!
When did you get into the fandom and how? I entered the WTNV fandom around Episode 20. I was a freshman in Highschool and my partner had me listen to the Pilot because they knew I would enjoy the calm melodic voice of Cecil Baldwin. And they were absolutely right, I fell in love instantly
What were your first impressions? It was hard to follow for me, honestly. It was all over the place and I didn’t quite have a grasp on any sort of overarching plot line. I discovered by episode 13 ish that in order to understand NightVale you simply had to just accept everything as fact and move on. Don’t question anything or try to figure things out, just let Cecil talk and love every moment; the plot will come.
What made you stay in the fandom? Honestly I never could imagine being without it since I started. Cecil’s voice spoke to me on such a deep level and it calmed me no matter what the mindlessness of the episodes kept me from overthinking about my home and school life and I just loved the twice monthly guaranteed escepe. Then of course Carlos came into the podcast as Dylan Marron and once again, I fell in love instantly.
Have you done any creative works for/inside the fandom (fanfics, fanart, etc.) I have made a couple pieces of fan art and I have cosplayed Cecil at a couple conventions. I have made myself a glow cloud (ALL HAIL) which I use as a prop at conventions as well
Has the fandom or the podcast itself affected your life outside of the fandom or your views? Well I can’t see the colour purple without thinking of Cecil, I can’t thingnor see anything sciencey without gushing over Carlos, and I can’t look or eat at Arby’s without just being in a Cecil headspace XD As far as life views go I think the podcast has simply broadened my view of everything. My eyes are open to all things because I can never guess or assume anything anymore.
Has it helped you in any way? Absolutely. As I said before it provided an escape from reality. I’ve always used fantasy as an escape, but it mostly came from books. This was a new medium and all I had to do was click play and listen. It’s helped me through so much and I have honestly built one of my best friendships with help from NightVale
What are most of the fans like? The fans are absolutely wonderful people. They’re so beautiful and pure and lovely. The WTNV fandom is probably the most pure and happy one I am a part of.
Is there anything that the fans don’t talk about or would be insulting to say to another fan? Anything positive about Steve Carlesberg. I’m mostly joking with that one but if you have a Cecil muse as strong as mine, I get itchy when he is brought up XDD other than that, no. There isn’t much the fandom “can’t” talk about
Are there any interesting tropes or memes inside the fandom? Glow Cloud (all hail the benevolent cloud), Steve Carlesberg, waiting for the bus in the rain, ummmmmm I think that’s it honestly XD
What do you like about Welcome to Night Vale and/or the fandom itself? Everything. Absolutely everything in this fandom is amazing. As stated before, the people in it are wonderful, the creators and voices are so kind and funny in, on, and outside the show. No one attacks anyone for anything and it’s just a wonderful place to be.
What advice would you give to someone new to the fandom? Just accept everything as you hear it and move on. Don’t tune to far into what Cecil is saying, but don’t tune him out if you haven’t heard an episode before. It will all work itself out in time, just listen and enjoy.
Are there any outside events that you’ve gone to or merchandise that you’ve bought? I have been to ¾ live shows that have come to my state. Those were absolutely amazing and I can’t wait for more. I haven’t bought any merch but I plan to get some stuff from their store once I have the spare money :)
Has the fandom/creators/podcast itself addressed any societal/political/etc real-world issues (like charities or raising awareness)? In its own way :) i feel in order to be relatable to everyone without insulting anyone they don’t bring that sort of stuff into the show. But the creators and voice actors have their own social media accounts and will post things on their personal views every now and again. Cecil is huge with HIV positive awareness since he is positive and Dylan is his with LGBTQ+ rights because he is a married gay man. They’re all such amazing people.
Is there anything else you’d like to tell me about Welcome to Night Vale or the fandom itself? Give it a good listen if you can. I know college can take up a lot of time (my finals are kicking my ass rn) but it’s worth an episode or two a day. The characters are dynamic and go through a lot and the plot is deep and has lots of twists. It’s an amazing podcast. Also I think one of the biggest reasons the fandom is so pure is that once one character has a cannon appearance. Carlos is the only one with any sort of description in the podcast but even then, he can look however the listener wants. They all can, so it’s almost like the listener can have their own personalized WTNV and to me, that’s amazingly important when you’re trying to reach a large and diverse audience.
Thank you so much for letting me participate in this!! @totallynotyourroommate
0 notes