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#american flag onesi
jar-of-ectoplasm · 1 year
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sleeping w/ the mercs [NOT LIKE THAT]
sorry the formatting is shit i made this on mobile 🫤
shitty headcanons abt the mercs rooms and ur guys’ sleeping arrangements hope u enjoy like and subscribe it’s rly long so it’s under the cut
scout:
-very very messy room
-but like he knows where all his shit is so whatever works for him
-his mattress is on the floor bro 💔 just kidding but his bed frame is pretty low to the ground so it might as well be
-he’s got a smaller bed and a single blanket so you both are gonna be cuddling whether you wanted to or not
-surprisingly soft sheets, he stole some of spy’s fancy silk ones so it’s pleasant
-always has a fan/AC unit going for the noise but his blanket is pretty thin so it’s colder than you’d probably prefer
-kicks a lot in his sleep so just be prepared 🤕
-doesn’t snore very loud but does drool a lot and he usually ends up laying his face on your chest/your head so you are gonna wake up a little soggy sorry 💔💔
-usually falls asleep around 11pm or midnight but does wake up at random hours of the early morning almost nightly before passing back out
-pretty much always wakes up before you, he goes on morning jogs everyday so if you’re up for it he’ll take you with him
-does like to surprise you with “breakfast” in bed (it’s dry cereal and a tiny carton of orange juice but he tried)
soldier:
-really REALLY plain room
-it’s a little eerie, everything is very clean and the walls are bare concrete bc the rooms at RED headquarters are basically prison cells
-the only decoration in his room is an american flag, his bedside table with a lamp and alarm clock and a little bald eagle stuffed animal the guys got him for christmas one year
-sleeps stiff as a board on his back so he isn’t the greatest cuddle buddy but will do so if you ask (he prefers spooning over anything else)
-he’s got a decently sized bed cause he’s a pretty big guy, so you’ve got room to move around
-his mattress is pretty hard though so it isn’t super comfortable but it’s better than the floor or some old military cot
-goes to bed at 10pm sharp every single night and wakes up at 5am for morning training and will try to get you to get up with him regardless of when you fell asleep
-if you don’t opt to get out of bed he does wake you up again with a plate of food (courtesy of engineer, soldier’s just the delivery guy)
pyro:
-probably the weirdest room out of everybody’s
-their bed is really nice, they’ve got a pillow top mattress and fuzzy blankets so it’s very soft but it’s overcrowded with some burnt looking stuffed animals and an insane amount of throw pillows
-the other decoration is really weird though don’t pay too much attention to it, it’s kinda creepy but it’s also pyro so 🤷🏻‍♀️
-doesn’t sleep in the flame-proof suit but they do sleep in onesie-esque pajamas
-doesn’t sleep in the mask either but they do use a sleeping mask and are usually face down in the pillows
-not the biggest cuddle person either but they aren’t above putting an arm around you or something similar
-always goes to sleep after you do and wakes up before you too
-they usually already have a cereal bar or some other sweet breakfast food on the nightside for you when you do wake up though
demo:
-THE MOST WELCOMING COZIEST ROOM THE IDEAL ROOMIE
-very warm, comforting room, he’s got a fuzzy rug put down and only uses lamps because the overhead light usually hurts his eye
-very large, very soft bed with warm blankets and soft pillows
-the pillows all have a faint smell of whiskey but whatever
-very much a cuddler, sober or not. he doesn’t move around much in his sleep and is a very heavy sleeper so once he’s out he’s out and you are stuck in that bed until he wakes up
-does snore but it isn’t obnoxious
-takes the eyepatch off and wears a bonnet to bed to protect his hair (he has multiple but his favorite one has his family’s tartan as the pattern)
-a night owl, he doesn’t get to sleep until 2-3am and usually wakes up the latest out of everybody (around 9-10am) and he will get pouty if you aren’t there when he wakes up
engineer:
-his room is basically an extension of his workshop, he’s got a desk crammed full of random bullshit and blueprints he hasn’t gotten around to testing yet
-doesn’t spend much time in his actual room, so aside from extra tools, spare parts and papers there isn’t much in there
-his bed is actually pretty comfortable but he hardly ever makes it out of his workshop before passing out for the night so he wouldn’t know 😒
-when he DOES go to bed in his room, he is a HUGE cuddler, he will not let you go under any circumstances
-does snore pretty loud but if you wake him up he’ll readjust himself so he snores less
-usually sleeps on his left side so you don’t accidentally roll onto his prosthetic hand and hurt yourself
-no matter what time he fell asleep the previous night, he always gets up at 6am and makes the team breakfast. he’ll let you sleep more while he’s cooking and surprise you with breakfast in bed (even though he does it everyday so it isn’t much of a surprise)
heavy:
-HUGE ASS BED
-like california king
-he’s obviously a big guy but he does move around a lot so he needs a bigger bed so he won’t fall off every night
-very very warm bedding, he brought most of his stuff from russia so it’s built to keep you warm
-has a little teddy bear his mother handmade for him when he was first born; it’s pretty worn and tattered but he brings it with him anywhere he lives
-does have a little padded box for sasha at the foot of his bed
-isn’t the biggest sleep cuddler but he does like to hold you beforehand. he doesn’t mind when you cuddle him in your sleep, though, so by all means pass out on his chest if you feel like it
-does some reading before he goes to sleep and is usually in bed by 9 or 10pm; wakes up at 5 every morning so soldier doesn’t have to do his morning routine alone
-likes waking you up around 7am so the two of you can have some light conversation with engie during breakfast
medic:
-sleeps on the operating table
-just kidding, but he usually ends up passing out on his desk rather than his room
-his room is very sterile; it kinda feels like a doctor’s office, it smells faintly of rubbing alcohol and is a little drafty so it’s usually pretty chilly
-has birdcages hanging from the ceiling, archimedes has a fancier one compared to the rest of his doves but he swears he isn’t playing favorites
-if you do manage to get him to leave the medbay he’s usually pretty delirious. he’s very affectionate when he’s tired so he’s definitely down for cuddling
-is kinda blind without his glasses so he keeps them on until the very last minute before he falls asleep
-likes to tell you stories of when he did have his medical license and when he lived in germany
-usually falls asleep with his back to you but when he wakes up he’s holding you to his chest
-usually wakes up at 5am as well and goes straight into taking care of his birds, he likes to whistle littles tunes to them so that may end up waking you as well
-almost never eats breakfast but he will be pestering you about it because he’s a hypocrite
sniper:
-well
-it’s a camper van
-it’s very cramped but he’s used to it just being him in there so he never really realized
-his bed folds up into the wall when he isn’t using it and he keeps his bedding folded next to it
-very used to living in much hotter climates, and even though it is new mexico it gets pretty cold at night so he’s usually shivering his ass off under a thin sheet
-is surprisingly clingy for someone so introverted and quiet, he claims it’s because you keep him warm but he’s also just a mushy guy in secret
-usually falls asleep watching some shitty DVD on his little portable dvd player he keeps on a counter next to his bed
-keeps his kukri hidden next to the mattress just in case
-very light sleeper and once he’s awake, he’s awake. poor guy barely ever gets any sleep because soldier is usually screaming outside the van 3 hours after he’s gotten to bed
-doesn’t eat breakfast, but he will make you a cup of coffee in the morning
spy:
-ugh
-bought all of his bedding and the mattress purely based on looks so it’s pretty surprising that it ended up being comfortable
-will not let anybody have their shoes on in his bedroom, you have to leave them in his smoking room if you wanna come in
-kinda like medic in the fact that he goes to bed not even looking at you but wakes up all over you. he is kind of an asshole about it being like “aw babe you literally think i’m irresistible even in your sleep” when HE’S the one that cuddled up to you
-keeps his butterfly knife under his pillow and a pistol in his bedside drawer
-always falls asleep after you and is always awake and out of bed by the time you get up
-he doesn’t eat engineer’s breakfast because he claims it’s “too filling and unhealthy to be eating that much as soon as you wake up” so he always makes a little french breakfast for himself
-he pretends like he doesn’t do anything for other people but he always makes a plate for you of whatever he makes himself and leaves it on his side of the bed with a cute little note for you
-will pretend like he has no idea what you’re talking about if you bring it up though
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Not Josh and Mike gifting Z an American flag onesie while she gave them toughtful gifts 💀
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jamisonwritestf2trash · 7 months
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[resting in bed, kicking their feet and slaying the fluffy pink pajamas as well as bright fluffy pink socks —for real—] Teehee, I have a writing prompt for you!
Which kind of pajamas the mercs use? How do they sleep with them?
Take care! ^-^
What Kind Of Pajamas Do The TF2 Mercs Wear?
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Sometimes I forget people have nice pajamas, I wear a pair of thrifted men's pajama pants with holes and a hoodie 😭 (I love it dw)
Mutual appreciation comment time! Love seeing you pop up! I'm always like ❗️that's my mutual! They're so cool!!!
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Demo- This man wears wine mom pj's and I will die on this hill. He wears a shirt that says "wine o'clock!" And has pajama pants with little wine glasses and bottles on them. Has multiple other wine pun-themed pajama shirts, each time he wears one you can feel Scout physically cringe. He's just so silly like that. But I don't think he sleeps in the wine shirts, he just wears them when he has to put a shirt on after he's ready for bed. Also has wine socks, to match his whole outfit ofc.
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Engineer- Wears dad pajamas. I'm sorry. But like? He seems like the kind of guy to wear thick ass flannel pajama pants with an equally as thick matching button-up. He's got fuzzy slippers (also flannel). Wears socks with those silly dad socks. Wears the entire get up to bed every night. Such a silly goose!
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Heavy- Genuinely wears old man pajamas. Wears a plain T-shirt, some warm pajama pants, and a robe. Has bunny slippers, please let me give this man bunny slippers. I don't know guys, in my head, he's so cartoonish. Sleeps in a bed with a patterned comforter has his slippers on and likes handing out the blanket bc it's too small. Ough, silly guy.
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Medic- I'm frothing at the mouth. But I'm also torn. I want to say he dresses up in that goofy-looking "Christmas Carol" nightgown with a nightcap and everything but at the same time? I can imagine this man in either white, pink, or red, silk pajamas, you know the ones. In my mind, fits his whole teen girl vibe. This all implies he sleeps, which is a rarity, but when he does it is very glamorous.
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Scout- Minecraft pajamas. Kidding! Half kidding? I think he sleeps in a t-shirt and boxers instead of actual pajamas. Minecraft t-shirts and themed boxers? Yeah. Has some thick pairs of clothes for colder nights. Mainly just some nice pajamas pants and a thick hoodie.
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Sniper- No pajamas. Wears jeans and a tank top, and a T-shirt if it's chilly. I don't think this man has ever worn pajamas. But in fairness, I don't think he ever continuously falls asleep. Just works and works and ends up passing out in whatever he's wearing. If he ever does finally decide to actually get some rest he has been known to just sleep in boxers.
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Spy- Old Hollywood robe. All I need to say. Has an intense sleep routine, wears an eye mask, puffs up all his pillows, and flops onto his bed dramatically with a sigh after a long day. Dramatic bitch. (loving) Sleeps with a blanket pulled up to his chin, and has like eight fans going. Has to have specific conditions to sleep. Crazy man.
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Soldier- I can't tell if this man respects the flag code with every fiber of his being or if he'd wear an entire American flag-themed pajama set. I'll go with a mix of both. Wears sweatpants and one of those cliché 4th of July t-shirts that every beer drinking white dad wears. Or he doesn't wear anything, the TF2 fandom has seemed to deam this man someone who doesn't understand the importance of clothes.
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Pyro- Unicorn onesie! Or some other form of onesie. They aren't particular. They like comfortable clothes and bonus points if it's really cute too. Has a collection of them. One time Pyro saw Ppy wearing an eye mask and bought one to try. Looks very silly on top of their gas mask. Overall, all these guys are really silly.
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Used the word silly way to much. Probably used goofy too much too. I was in a mood you could say.
I hope you like this! This was a favorite to write:) Sorry it took so long, I got way too tired last night to finish this. Also, hope I answered the question right because I kept second-guessing myself halfway through each one 😭
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Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3
Episode 2: Love Muffin
~The Man Cave~
Something was up, something big. Ray had called Henry and Charlotte to the Man Cave way past their bedtimes and now, they were pacing around the main room with (y/n). She knew as much as they did, absolutely jack all and was just as worried for whatever emergency was going on as they were.
"Why would he want want us here after midnight on a Thursday?" Henry asked as they all paced around, but no one could give him an answer. Charlotte and (y/n) were still in their pyjamas and extremely sleepy, but their worried minds wouldn't let them get any sleep until they knew what was going on.
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"I don't know, but if it's because he had a bad dream again, I am not gonna sing him a lullaby this time. That's your job." Charlotte looked at (y/n) who rolled her eyes and went back to her panicking.
"No, he's not been around all evening, I don't know where he is. God...I'm so worried." She breathed out and rubbed her eyes with the palm of her heels as she tried not to get into a state. He was indestructible and more than capable of looking after himself. It just concerned her that he'd not sent a text or left a note about where he was going.
"I'm here!" Jasper panted as he came bumbling down in the elevator. He had an odd choice of pyjamas; an all American flag onesie, but the weirdest thing about him was the fact that he had his hair done up in rollers.
"That's an emergency." Henry deadpanned. He couldn't see Jasper like that and not poke fun at him. It was just too good of an opportunity to miss.
"Are you...why would...curlers?" Charlotte stuttered as she struggled to put her shock into words. Why would he put them in his hair? Did he do it every night? So many questions.
"What, you thought my hair was naturally curly?" He asked the girls as he smirked at their open mouths. He just did it to spice up his look and he'd been doing it for years.
"I feel lied to." (y/n) commented, but her joking stopped as the tube alarm beeped and Ray came down, with a stupid look on his face.
"Heyyyyyy. Hello, friends. Welcome, welcome!" He breathed out dreamily, confusing the woman and teens as he greeted them. Why did he seem so out of it?
"Hey..." The kids said as (y/n) put her hands on her hips and gave him a pointed stare. She wanted to know why she had been waiting up, worried sick all night for him to come home.
"Ray Manchester, where have you been? I've been---" She was cut off as Ray smushed his finger against her lips to shut her up. Seriously, what was up with him? He'd never stop (y/n) from speaking normally, but this wasn't normal.
"And now...I want to introduce you guys to someone very special..." Ray told his friends and (y/n) felt her heart clench as she got the feeling that he was about to do something dreadful. The alarm for the other tube sounded and down came a very beautiful woman, wearing dark makeup and dark clothes. Holy shit.
"Who's that?" Charlotte whispered to the woman but she was shutting down, both mentally and physically as she sensed the worst. Her nightmare come to life, right in front of her and she couldn't move.
"I don't know. Looks like a woman." Henry whispered back, seeing that (y/n) was pale and shaking, worrying him beyond belief. It took a lot to get her like this and he didn't like how she was reacting.
Ray brought the woman into his arms and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, making (y/n) choke up as tears sprung to her eyes. Was he doing this deliberately as some sort of cruel prank? To bring this into the Man Cave at such a late hour seemed so unkind like he was rubbing it in her face and Charlotte put a hand on her shoulder as she trembled.
"Everyone...this is Gwen," Ray said her name and (y/n) immediately hated it. It could've been anything and she'd hate it, but the way the woman smirked at her sickened reaction made her heart ache more. Sure, he'd had girlfriends in the past and they stung, like she'd had boyfriends and stung him, but this felt different, more intense and like he genuinely wanted it to work. And that made her heart throb.
"Hi, guys." Gwen smiled sinisterly to the kids, who also instantly disliked her. What was Ray thinking? Bringing her down into his secret hideout and flaunting his new relationship in front of the woman he really loved, was he insane?
"Ray, can I talk to you for a second?" Henry grabbed onto his boss's elbow and dragged him away from Gwen's arms, which didn't go down very well with Ray. (y/n) hated the way he whined when he had to let go of the dark-haired woman and she had to turn away to stop her mind from keeping the image forever. 
"Hold on, I'd really rather--" The large man made grabby hands at his new woman, but Henry was on a mission and he wasn't gonna let this go without an answer. He had way too much loyalty to (y/n) and the hope of her and Ray getting together.
"Just a sec, so sorry." He said as he yanked him away, even though he wasn't sorry at all. In fact, he was rather proud of himself for getting him to stop slathering all over her.
"Are you crazy!!" Henry hissed at him as he made sure that Charlotte was comforting the heartbroken young woman behind him. Good, he needed her distracted so he could give his boss a good talking to.
"What?" Ray looked at him innocently, not being able to pick up on anyone else's feelings through the haze of love he felt for Gwen. It was like his mind wasn't his own.
"You can't just bring some stranger down here into the Man Cave!" Henry hissed, deciding to use (y/n) as his main argument in a few moments. He wanted to shock Ray into sense and if he had to pull out the big guns, he would.
"Oh, Gwen's not a stranger." Ray scoffed, looking over at the bewitching woman with heart eyes. He couldn't even hear the way (y/n) was sniffing into Charlotte's shoulder.
"Well, how long have you known her?," Henry asked as he saw how broken the young woman was. This Gwen girl better be good, but then again, the boy was sure that no one would ever suit Ray more than (y/n) did. They were soulmates.
"Almost three hours." Ray cooed and rested his head on Henry's shoulder, but the boy was disgusted with his behaviour. So many years of loving (y/n) and he was throwing it all away for an actual stranger?
"What?! Three hours?! Dude, what about (y/n)?" He said the woman's name quietly, but she was so distraught that she could only hear the words 'I've lost him' bouncing around in her head. She knew this day would come when he found a nice girl and settled down with her properly, but she didn't think it would be tonight or without her. That last shred of hope that he might turn around and say that she was the one he wanted, died when she saw his loving gaze at Gwen. He wasn't hers to love anymore.
"What about her? I love Gwen...Ooo, that reminds me. I gotta tell her she's Miss Danger and you're Kid Danger." Ray suddenly perked up and Henry scrambled to stop him, but he was too strong and too fast to hold back.
"What? No, no, no--" Henry panicked, but Ray wasn't thinking straight.
"Hey, honey?" He smiled at Gwen, making (y/n) lookup from Charlotte's shoulder with red, puffy eyes. Bless her, she'd tried everything to make (y/n) feel better, but everything Charlotte tried wouldn't work and Ray was making it worse.
"Yes?" Gwen's sweet voice turned away from her conversation with Jasper to look at her new man. 
"I bet you'll never guess who this loveable knucklehead really is." Ray put his arm around Henry, who was trying to escape his hold and shut him up, but he couldn't wriggle free.
"Not a good idea." Charlotte, Henry and Jasper shook their heads frantically and tried to make him zip his lip. (y/n) was still staying silent as her voice would just be small and quiet because she had taken in everything aspect of Gwen and had come to one conclusion. She was gorgeous, her figure was flawless and she obviously had something that Ray saw that she didn't have. 
"Kid Danger! Haha!" Ray giggled as Gwen smirked at the new information. She was working her way into the centre of the Man Cave and it was easier than she could ever have imagined. She'd heard the rumours about Captain Man and Miss Danger being a couple, but when she learnt that, in reality, they were so careful and insecure about their love, it made Ray an easy target.
"Dude!" Henry shrieked in horror, but Ray giggled dreamily. His head was spinning and his lips moved before he could stop them. All he could see, hear and feel was Gwen.
"It's okay, Gwen even knows that I'm Captain Man. Oh, and (y/n)'s Miss Danger." He brushed off their concern as they all gasped and voiced their disgust with him. Was he trying to get them all captured or killed?
"Ray! That wasn't your secret to tell!" (y/n) finally found her voice at the mention of her name. She was certain that she was having a heart attack, but she didn't want her secrets being told to everyone that Ray fancied. That was her business and the fact that he was telling every girl that walked through his life pissed her off.
"It's fine...and guess what else." Ray shook off her anger and took Gwen's hand again as she smiled evilly at him. Surely things couldn't get worse, but the young woman felt her bravery take a back seat as they started to snuggle up again. Just last night they were the closest of friends and her love had never been brighter, but now, it was like she was the stranger and Gwen had stolen the prize right from under her nose.
"Gwen and I...we're getting married." Ray smiled and that was when the dam broke. Every tear in her body came flooding to her eyes as the news broke (y/n). Literally broke her, like Ray had taken a knife, carved out her heart and crushed it with his bare hand. She bit back her sob as she turned around quickly and sat by herself on the couch, needing to look away from whatever had happened to her best friend. The teens couldn't believe it, Ray getting married to that floozy? What? 
Henry felt his own heart hurt as he watched the woman isolate herself from the group and he was taken aback by how small she seemed. Without Ray by her side, she was so lonely and fragile, like the slightest touch would break her if anyone tried to reach out and comfort her. She was on her own with her broken love.
"Heyyyy. What's the...happening?" Schwoz came in, full of beans despite the late hour, but his smile died when he saw (y/n) shaking and trying to muffle her sobs on the sofa and the shock written all over Henry, Jasper's and Charlotte's faces.
"Ray's getting married to a woman he met three hours ago!" Henry told him and Schwoz blanched at the news, his head snapping from Ray to (y/n) and then back to Ray. 
"Whaaaaaaaat?!" He gasped in horror and his nose screwed up in disgust when Ray fawned over Gwen. That should've been his best friend in his arms, not this floozy.
"And--why does Jasper have those things on his head?" Schwoz asked although he should've focused on the larger problem at hand. Screw Jasper's hair, the family that Ray had built for himself was at threat and everyone needed to pull together to find out why.
~The next morning, in Junk-N-Stuff~
(y/n) hadn't slept a wink. She'd just collapsed onto her bed and sobbed into her quilt to let out nine years of broken love. Where had she gone wrong? All those times she could have said something and she hadn't, now, she felt so foolish. She'd known all along that there had always been a chance that he'd find someone else and settle down with them, but she hadn't expected it that night and she hadn't been prepared for how much it hurt.
Henry had managed to drag her from her moping around noonish and she had moodily trudged upstairs with him so she could cry in Junk-N-Stuff. It was bad for business, but the boy knew she had to get away from Ray and Gwen's kissing. Not to mention all the...other stuff that she'd heard, which made her cry harder and hurt deeper.
"Henry..." Jasper looked to his best friend as he tried to water Omar. The plant needed care, but it was fussy about who got to give that care. Normally, it was (y/n), who was no longer afraid of the flytrap's snappy attitude, but she was currently slumped on the floor with her face pressed into her knees. Let's just say that she needed some space.
"Yeah?" The boy broke out of his deep pondering and looked at his two friends, both of whom had a problem on very different levels.
"This plant's intimidating me." Jasper pouted, but his friend didn't care. His job was on the line and everything he'd been pushing (y/n) and Ray towards for nearly two years was in tatters. He needed to think, not worry about plants.
"Dude, we got way bigger problems right now than...plant thirst." He stressed, making the young woman look up at him as he stopped in front of her and gestured his arm to her depressed state. She looked terrible, with bags under her red eyes and crumpled pyjamas, anyone would be able to tell she was mourning something or someone dear to her. 
"I mean, why would Ray wanna marry a lady he's only known for three hours?" Henry asked Jasper, and a stab of pain went through the woman's heart at the reminder.
"Rub it in, why don't you?" She sniffed and got to her feet. She was still miserable, but the floor was cold and it just made her look desperate. She was allowed to be a little desperate though, she was hurting bad.
"Maybe she has a trampoline," Jasper suggested, making Henry and (y/n) look at him with annoyed expressions. That wasn't very helpful. Even Omar wasn't impressed, but then again, he rarely was.
~In the Man Cave~
"No, I love you more. I do too. No, I love you more than you love me. Oh, I think I do." Ray smiled as he told Gwen the sickly sweet words over the phone and shuffled along the couch. Everything she did, even if it was nothing made his heart race and his brain turn to mush, which was hard for Charlotte and Schwoz to watch as they tinkered with a machine.
"All right, he's about to make me puke," Charlotte grumbled to Schwoz as she listened to his ridiculous drivel. She took back every gag and eye roll she ever made at how lovey-dovey Ray and (y/n) were together since they were meant to be. This was just revolting, over-the-top trash talk.
"No, I love you more." Ray continued to giggle and coo down the phone and Schwoz knew he needed to get to the bottom of this fast before (y/n) walked out and Ray made the biggest mistake of his life.
"What's that?" Charlotte asked as she saw him charge up a gun-like gadget that she'd never seen before.
"We can use this to find out why Ray fell in love with that woman so quickly. I will die before I see Ray lose (y/n)." Schwoz told the young girl gravely and she got the sentiment. She'd known them for only a small fraction of their friendship, but Schwoz? He'd seen it all; from their first meeting to their first fight and make-up, he'd watched them fall in love and he was going to see them together, even if it killed him.
"But how can--" Charlotte was confused as to how it worked, but there was time for questions later. Schwoz shushed her as Ray left himself open for the small man to blast him.
"Ray! Ray, come quick to me!" Schwoz called him in a sing-song voice, and even though he didn't want to, Ray said goodbye to his "lovely" Gwen.
"Yeah, I'll see you in a few minutes. I love you. Muah!" He made kissy noises down the phone. and drunkenly stood up from the supercomputer chair where he'd been rambling on the phone for the past few minutes.
"Okay, Schwoz, what was it that you wanted me--" Ray never finished his sentence. As soon as he had tucked his phone back into his back pocket, Schwoz shot his device thing at his face, making him go all wobbly and woozy.
"Charlotte, catch him!" Schwoz told the girl, but she could barely hold up a person of her own weight, let alone Ray, who was all muscle and bulk. 
"Me? Ah!" The girl screamed as Ray collapsed on top of her. At least she broke his fall.
"Good job! Now, bring him over to the sofa." Schwoz instructed her and walked off. She couldn't move, she had a huge man crushing her spleen and pinning down her arms. Her job was never easy.
~Upstairs~
"Come on, smile for me..." Jasper encouraged Omar and tried to stroke his foliage, but he just received a face full of goop. Yeah, it was never a good idea to disturb the plant, not that Henry or (y/n) cared. They were still panicking and pacing around as they thought about Ray.
"He globbered me!" Jasper whined, making (y/n) sigh as she and Henry dashed over to help him wipe away the sticky gunk. It was never nice to get it in your eyes and they couldn't leave him to blindly stumble around the store.
"All right, all right, it's not that bad," Henry reassured him as the young woman grabbed some tissues.
"Don't touch your eyes, you'll just rub it in and then it gets really bad." She told Jasper, who swiftly dropped his hands to his side. (y/n) began to clear the goo from each eye and it gave Henry a chance to check up on her. He hadn't done that yet and he felt like she deserved all the support in the world.
"Hey, are you all right?" He asked her softly, taking note of the way she was so gentle and kind to Jasper even though her heart was missing. Even without her love, she still had enough to go around and would never dream of hoarding it to keep herself happy. It reminded Henry that she always took care of everyone else and now, it was their turn to take care of her in her hour of need.
"No, not really." She whispered back, trying not to cry. She was certain that if she started again, she'd never stop and she had to put on her brave face even though she wasn't feeling brave at all.
"What you feelin'?" Jasper asked carefully, making sure to choose his words with meaning. It wasn't a casual "what's up?" or "what's wrong?", it got to the centre of her and what was going on in her mind.
"Oh, you know. I'm feeling depressed because the man I've loved for nearly all of the nine years I've known him has promised himself to a stranger. I'm angry because she's everything I could never be and...I'm scared." She muttered the last part as she finished cleaning the last of Omar's puke from Jasper's face and the boys exchanged a worried glance with each other.
"Why?" Henry asked, hating to see such a usually bubbly and cheery woman reduced to a shell of her former self. 
"Because where does this leave me? If they do...get married, I can't live here. I'll have to give all this up and move out, 'cause I can't watch Ray build a life with someone who isn't me. And I guarantee I won't be wanted anymore. He's gonna have a wife, why would he want me?" She confessed and gulped as she imagined saying goodbye to Ray for the last time. Surely, this wasn't how it was meant to be.
"We're gonna find out what's wrong with him and then Gwen--" Henry's determined speech was cut off as the devil herself came strolling through the door. Ugh, what did she want?
"Henry. Jasper. Poor little (y/n)..." She smirked as she walked into the store, a box in her freshly manicured hands. God, she was so smug and (y/n) knew that her cocky stare was her way of telling her that she'd won and there was nothing she could do to stop her.
"Hey, Gwen..." Jasper greeted her cautiously, very aware of the thick tension between the two women. Of course, he and Henry were loyal to (y/n), but they didn't want to appear too hostile until they sussed out what she was doing with Ray.
"Uh, Jasper, why don't you go take (y/n) to the bathroom?" Henry suggested to his friend as he eyed Gwen's suspicious movements. He needed some alone time with her to assess what she was up to.
"Because I'm a grown woman and I can go by myself?" (y/n) replied for Jasper, thinking that Henry was completely crazy. Like she needed an escort to go pee, she wasn't that sad.
"Then go into the bathroom and show him your Celine Dion playlist," Henry told her tightly and she got the message that he wanted them gone for a moment.
"All right, but first..." She agreed, but she had one thing to say to this emo barbie bitch before she went.
"I don't know what your game is, Gwen, but you won't win." She told the smirking woman, who puffed out her chest and looked at her like she was a child in need of a good scolding. Still, (y/n) stood her ground and kept hold of her courage, even though she was still feeling weak with sadness. 
"Oh, sweet, sweet girl. I've already won." Gwen hissed at her sharply, making the helper growl at the use of Ray's nickname for her. If she wanted a war, she could have one. (y/n) had nothing left to lose and she was too broken to care what anyone thought about her.
"I don't know how much Ray has told you, but...you can't hurt me. Not anymore, no one can." She told her rival in a low, serious voice before turning around and marching to the back room with Jasper in tow. It was true, no one could hurt her, she had moved past being a jumpy, mousy girl who was scared of her own shadow and was now a superhero of all things. However, there was one man who still had a grip on her heart and he was the one holding her together. But, his grip was loosening and she was at the point of falling if someone didn't wake him up soon. 
"Y'know...Henry. I got the feeling last night that you don't want me to marry your friend, Ray." Gwen started as soon as (y/n) and Jasper were out of earshot. She didn't want that good-for-nothing superhero bitch coming in with her superpowers and ruining her plans.
"Well, I'm glad that you got that feeling, 'cause the feeling is exactly what I want your feeling to be. Ya feelin' me?" Henry sassed her in an agitated tone, wishing to communicate all of his hate for the woman to her.
"I'm sorry, one more time?" She smirked, wanting to keep control of the situation by making Henry unsure of himself and what he was saying. She was sneaky that way.
"No, I'm sorry, 'cause I don't repeat stuff." Henry snapped back. He wasn't going to let her have the upper hand, no way. He wasn't afraid of her or how she was using Ray to get her own way, in fact, he was sure he could beat her.
~Back in the Man Cave~
After a lot of pain and struggling, Charlotte had finally managed to get Ray on the couch so he could sleep through his unconsciousness. 
"What are you doing?" She asked Schwoz in an exhausted voice, who had rapidly jogged over with some weird helmet scanner thing so he could slide it onto Ray's head. Yeah, he got the easy job.
"I am connecting this device to Ray's brain, and converting his cerebral memory impulses into audio and video images, so we can see his memories from yesterday when he first met the lady," Schwoz explained, his mouth turning into a nauseated sneer at the thought of Gwen. 
"When he first met the lady." Charlotte mimicked his funny voice, but she too had a sickened expression. Everyone hated Gwen and everyone was going to make sure she left. The girl looked at the screen with Schwoz and he pulled a lever, making his brain scanner flicker to life as it began to read Ray's mind. It was all a bit too complicated for Charlotte, but she tried to keep up where she could and soon, they'd found the right memory.
"Hey, you there!"
"Me?"
"What are you doing with that glowing blob?"
"Uh, nothing."
"That's a lie, I think you're a criminal."
"Are you...hungry?"
"Uhhh..." Schwoz and Charlotte watched in horror as they saw what had unfolded the previous night. Gwen must have tricked Ray or hypnotised him or something because he'd never give up his secrets and love for her and they weren't the only ones who knew that.
~Meanwhile, upstairs~
In the store, Henry was giving the woman a piece of his mind. He didn't trust her and for good reason, she was evil and up to no good, not that he knew the extent of it.
"I know Ray and there's no way that he'd meet you, and then ask you to marry him on the same day, unless you--unless you did something. Because I know and everyone else knows that Ray loves (y/n) and belongs with her." Henry hissed at her and that's when Gwen opened her Tupperware box. She knew that Captain Man and Kid Danger were too resilient to her charms in their own minds, so she had to unleash her secret weapon. 
"Y'know Henry...I was hoping that we could be friends. But now...I'm sorry that I made you these muffins." Gwen showed him the baked goods and the sickly sweet smell rising from them tickled Henry's nose.
"M-Muffins?!" He looked at her in confusion. He didn't trust this woman or anything she gave him, but those muffins sure looked good...
~Back in the Man Cave~
"Mmmm, yeah, that's really good. That's a really good muffin..." Charlotte and Schwoz continued to watch what had happened to Ray and they learnt that everything was fine until Gwen gave him a muffin. Wait a second...
"Captain Man?"
"Yeah?
"May I kiss you?" The sneaky woman. Ray never turned down a kiss from a pretty female begging for his attention. He had always told himself that one day, he might find someone who could distract his heart from the pain of not having (y/n) and Gwen was just another chick in line. Her kiss was nothing compared to the one he'd shared with his sweet girl, nothing ever was, but little did he know, this poison touch was about to steal him away from his love, possibly forever.
"Uhhhh...wuhhh...I like someone elseee...." Ray was powerless to stop her and his protests died where they stood when Gwen planted a gentle yet revolting kiss on the hero's lips. Schwoz didn't want Charlotte to see that so he put his hand over her eyes, which annoyed the girl. She didn't want to miss a thing; any detail could be crucial in helping their friend get back to normal.
"Now, Captain Man, is there something you want to tell me?" 
"Y-Yeah, I...I love you." What? Schwoz and Charlotte were flabbergasted at this revelation.
"That's right and you always will, so forget that silly girl in your head and love me." Schwoz puffed out his cheeks and ended the simulation as he and the teen girl reeled from the revelation. 
"The muffin!" Charlotte cried as she realised what had happened. Ray was perfectly fine until he ate the muffin!
"Yes!...What?" Schwoz wasn't following. He hadn't been paying as much attention as Charlotte and he couldn't make the connection between Ray and Gwen's muffin.
"Gwen did something to the muffin! Like...she must've added some sort of chemical or something and it made Ray fall in love with her when she kissed him!" Charlotte theorised, knowing that she was along the right lines. Gwen was evil and they had to stop her.
Suddenly, the secret door opened and out came (y/n) and Jasper, both singing to Celine Dion. The boy had taken the long way around to the Man Cave and had used every trick in his goofy body to cheer her up, which it had worked to an extent.
"Nearrrrrr, farrrrrr, whereeverrrr youuu are, I believeeee that the heart doessss go onnnn!" (y/n) sang with Jasper, not caring if she was off-key or offbeat. She was playing her sad playlist and she needed to rock out. Plus, if Celine was right, she'd come back from her heartache, yeah right.
"Jasper? (y/n)?" Charlotte walked towards them in confusion as the young woman muted the blaring music coming from her phone.
"Hey, what's up?" Jasper greeted her as (y/n) brushed some of her messy hair away from her face. Maybe getting a shower and getting dressed would be a good idea.
"Are you feeling better, (y/n)?" Schwoz looked conflicted. He was glad she wasn't sobbing uncontrollably anymore, but he also didn't want her to leave prematurely. If only he knew how cut up she was inside.
"Eh. I still feel like shit and I'm eighty-seven per cent sure I'm going to be homeless soon, but at least I've got Celine." She offered him a sad smile and it told him everything he needed to know. She wasn't feeling better, if anything she was feeling worse after having all night to think about what Ray "getting married" meant for her.
"I thought you guys were upstairs in Junk-N-Stuff with Henry," Charlotte told them, sensing that something was off. 
"Oh, we were, but Henry wanted to talk to Gwen, so we went to the--" Jasper tried to explain, but the moment he mentioned that cursed name, Charlotte and Schwoz started to panic.
"Gwen??" The teen girl cried, feeling like Henry could be in a lot of danger.
"Oh, geez." Schwoz gasped, also getting the sense that something nasty was going on upstairs.
"Come on!" The small man and girl ran to the elevator and, not wanting to be left behind, Jasper and (y/n) were hot on their heels.
"Wait for us!" The young woman exclaimed as she and Jasper slid across the cold floor. She knew Gwen was a thieving, bitchy skank, but why were they so concerned about Henry? What was going on?
~In Junk-N-Stuff~
Henry couldn't resist the temptation of a freshly-baked muffin, even if it had been made by a woman who was now considered to be an enemy. 
"Oh man, what is this, banana nut? This a banana nut muffin?" He asked the smirking woman as the spongy cake tingled his tastebuds. Little did he know that the muffin wasn't a baked good, it was a baked bad.
"Henry, don't swallow that muffin!" Charlotte burst onto the shop floor with an exuberant worry in her voice and Schwoz, Jasper and (y/n) weren't far behind her. 
"W-What--stop--ah!" Henry protested as Charlotte reached into his mouth and began to pick the crumbs out of his mouth. Yeah, it was gross to remove the gooey, half-chewed muffin but needs must and Henry couldn't be allowed to eat it.
"Henry, it's dangerous!" She tried to tell him, but Henry was instinctively fighting against the attack. Desperate time called for desperate measures.
"Use my handheld vacuum cleaner!" (y/n) passed her small device to Charlotte as she glared at Gwen. She didn't understand the full picture but she was getting the idea that this was her doing.
"Okay, out of your mouth! Henry!" Charlotte begged her friend as she sucked the muffin out, but Gwen wasn't going to let a child ruin her plans.
"Hey! Let him eat the muffin!" She yelled at Charlotte and it awoke (y/n)'s fury. This woman had come in and wrecked her life, she wasn't going to let her bully her friends.
"Back off, bitch!" She hissed back and Gwen and Charlotte engaged in a tug of war with Henry's body. They yanked him back and forth, back and forth until Henry pulled himself free of their grasps and staggered back. He tripped into a display and a large bust toppled over and onto his head, knocking the boy out. 
"Oh my god!" Charlotte gasped as her friend collapsed on the floor and before (y/n) could dish out her first-aid expertise, Jasper thrusted himself forward and offered his knowledge instead.
"I know mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!" He announced and swiftly shrugged off his jacket as he rushed to Henry's side, even though the kiss of life wouldn't help him. He was unconscious, not suffocating.
"I need to kiss him!" Gwen grabbed his shoulders and tried to force him away, but Jasper was stronger than he looked and (y/n) was ready to kick her ass.
"He's my best friend!" Jasper hissed to her and prised her fingers off of him just as (y/n) stepped forward to sort her out. Drawing her fist back, she sent a sharp punch to Gwen's jaw, sending the woman stumbling back in a painful daze.
"Sit down, shut up!" She hissed to her, ignoring the throbbing in her knuckles. It soothed quickly as the swelling disappeared instantly and if Gwen dared make a noise, she was more than happy to give her some more. 
Taking a deep breath, Jasper pressed his lips to Henry's and blew all the air in his lungs into his mouth. Henry gasped into consciousness and slowly lifted his head to see his friends looking at him in concern. 
"Quick, help him up!" (y/n) told Jasper and Schwoz stepped forward to help the couching boy to his feet. The world was spinning and his brain was fuzzy as the boys helped to keep him steady. 
"Hen, Hen, are you okay?"Jasper asked him in concern and he was taken aback by the loving gaze his best friend sent his way.
"I...I love you." Henry smiled at his newfound love, but Jasper didn't think he meant it in anything but a platonic way.
"Oh shit." (y/n) breathed out as Jasper realised that Henry wasn't joking. Okay, seeing Henry in love with him was weird and made him uncomfortable, especially when Henry latched onto him in a tight embrace.
"Hey, quit it! No, Henry--This is not a good time to hug." Jasper struggled to get him off. When Henry wanted to hug he was like an octopus, hands everywhere. 
"Henry, leave Curly alone." (y/n) tried to get him off, but no one could make him let go of Jasper. He loved him.
"Aw, you have pretty hair." The mention of Jasper's nickname switched Henry's attention and the blond boy started to pet Jasper's curls affectionately, much like how he had seen Ray do it to (y/n) when they were cuddling.
"Henry!" Charlotte shouted at her friend, but she had to face Gwen's wrath first.
"Great, see what you did?" She hissed at the girl, making (y/n) step in front of Charlotte protectively, even though she was more than happy to yell back.
"What I did?!" Charlotte reiterated in anger, not believing the nerve of the woman. She was the evil one, not her.
"Yeah!" Gwen growled, standing against the two girls, who were not afraid of a fight. They knew that they were in the right and she was in the wrong.
"We're not the ones who's been boppin' round here with a box of mystical muffins!" Charlotte argued, keeping a hand on (y/n)'s arm so she didn't lunge for Gwen. She hated her too and she would love nothing more than to see her friend give her what she deserved, but this wasn't the time for that.
"You little bitch, watch your step..." Gwen sneered and Charlotte had to take a step back to calm her nerves. She didn't want to fight either because she'd never win against a grown woman. However, luckily for her, she had a superhero on her side.
"Do you want another one? 'Cause I'll gladly beat your ass--" (y/n)'s threat was interrupted as her best friend appeared from the back, stopping her fist in the air. Dammit, why did he have to show up now?
"Gwen! I was just dreaming about the first time we met!" Ray cooed as he floated across the store and joined hands with Gwen, who was smirking at (y/n). The young woman instantly dropped her anger and reverted to her sad, reclusive self as she saw Ray go to her with a lovestruck smile.
"Hello, my sweet man." The criminal brushed his hair away from his eyes and looked at the Man Cave team with a smug smirk. She wanted them to know that she had their leader wrapped around her finger, especially since it rendered Miss Danger depressed and non-dangerous. 
"Ray, no!" Charlotte tried to stop him as she and Schwoz saw the way (y/n) lost all her confidence at the sight of Ray loving another.
"Quit--quit it!" Jasper slapped away Henry's hands as he had a different problem with love. Mainly that his best friend was acting crazy and wouldn't leave him alone.
"I can't quit you!" Henry replied in a cute baby voice and wrapped Jasper in another unwanted hug. 
"Ray, you don't really love her!" Charlotte tried again to get her boss away from that witch, but he was under her spell and couldn't hear what she was saying.
"Ray, she gave you a bad muffin that--" Even Schwoz couldn't get through to him and when he stood in between the couple, Ray just kept him sandwiched between them as he leaned over his head.
"She tricked you!" Charlotte yelled as (y/n) watched the scene with sad eyes. What had she done to deserve pain like this? If this was love, why did it hurt so much?
"Yah and she tried to do it to Henry too!" Schwoz gasped as he freed himself from the Ray-Gwen sandwich.
"Except Henry fell in love with Jasper by mistake!" The teen girl pointed to the best friends, where Jasper was still fighting off Henry's advances.
"Aw, my sweet girl's so smart!" Ray cooed, shattering the few remains of (y/n)'s heart that had somehow managed to keep beating. That was his name for her, no one else's and to hear it be used on someone else, someone who didn't deserve his love, was agonising.
"Can you please make all of these people leave so we can be alone?" Gwen trailed her finger up Ray's chest as Schowz and Charlotte frowned at her. She knew what she was doing, using Ray against them and it made them furious. 
"All right, everybody out!" He shouted at all his friends, who still couldn't believe that he was following her every order. Still, the muffins made people do anything and they realised that this wasn't his fault. Gwen was the one to blame.
"Come on, let's go!" He started to push them away as they protested, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. What Gwen wanted, Gwen would get. 
"Ray, we live here, you have no right to force us out!" (y/n) tried to fight him off, but he just kept pushing her, Charlotte, Schwoz, Henry and jasper out of the door.
"I don't want you here," Ray told her in a cold voice and suddenly, she stopped fighting. Those were the words she'd never wanted to hear coming from him and they'd only appeared in her worst nightmares. Now, they'd come to life.
"Hate to see ya go, but go! Bye-bye!" Gwen smirked at them as the last of her problems were forced out of the store. Good, with (y/n) out of the way, Ray had no hope of regaining his mind, meaning he was all hers.
~Henry's house~
The gang trudged up to Henry's porch, feeling defeated. (y/n) didn't have the energy left to cry or care about the weird looks she had received for wearing pyjamas in the middle of the afternoon on the street, she just felt numb. If she didn't belong in the Man Cave anymore, where did she belong?
"No--no--nope, stop it!" Jasper told Henry squished him against the front door when he tried to open it. All the way from the shop, he'd been snuggling and squeezing him and he'd had enough.
"I love you." He slurred and Jasper opened the door as quickly as possible. They all tumbled in, well, everyone apart from Schwoz did, who was barred from entry by Charlotte.
"Whoa, you can't come in." She told him and was met by a grumpy Schwoz.
"Why can't I go in there?" he. grumbled, wanting to sit with his friends and help the young woman through her grief. He also didn't want to stand out in the cold like a weirdo loitering on someone's porch.
"'Cause, what if Henry's parents are home?" Charlotte suggested, knowing that they'd be horrified to find a weird little foreign man in their house, even if he did work with their son.
"(y/n) is allowed in there!" He pointed to the young woman, who was trudging behind Jasper and a dumb-in-love Henry.
"That's because Henry's parents know her and are cool with her," Charlotte explained, which made Schwoz pout even more.
"But I can't stay out of here by myself!" He whined, but the young girl knew he'd be fine. No one was gonna want to kidnap him and take him home, it was Schwoz.
"Sure you can." She replied.
"No! What if someone tries to take me?" He suggested, but it just made the girl roll her eyes.
"Who would want you?" She sassed, leaving Schwoz speechless. Taking advantage of his silence, she slammed the door in his face and went over to her friends. Jasper was trying to comfort (y/n) as she curled up on the sofa and buried her face into a cushion, but there was little he could do.
"Tell me why Gwen would use tainted muffins to make Ray fall in love with her." The curly-haired boy said to his friend as he put a hand on (y/n)'s shoulder and Henry was walking around the kitchen in love haze.
"'Cause think about it. If Captain Man and Kid Danger are so in love that they can't fight crime, then they can't stop Gwen from doing whatever evil things she wants to do!" Charlotte explained, making (y/n) look up as she pondered the idea.
"What about (y/n)? She's a superhero." Jasper noted, gesturing to the pyjama-clad girl. 
"Gwen probably knows that Ray means a lot to her! So she's just going off the hope that (y/n) will be too sad to stop her from doing the evil things!" Charlotte added and the woman sat up with fire in her eyes.
"You got to admit, that bitch is clever." She sighed, snapping herself out of her sadness. She was still shaken, but she wasn't going to let Gwen beat her so easily. Ray needed her help and she was going to fight until her last breath to give it to him.
Okay then, I think we need to figure out how--how--ooo..." Jasper trailed off as Henry sat on the back of the couch and rubbed his shoulders lovingly. Even Jasper couldn't resist the pull of the gorgeous massage Henry was giving him, even though he hated how he was in love with him.
"JASPERRRR!" A loud, obnoxious voice came from the stairs and suddenly, Piper was trotting down the stairs in a foul mood.
"Oh, hey, Piper." He greeted the girl nervously, hoping that she wasn't angry about what he thought she was angry about.
"Did you go into my bathroom and take my curling iron?!" She snapped at the boy, who paled at her fury. He just wanted beautiful, curly locks, was that too much to ask for?
"Yeah, but I---" Jasper didn't need to defend himself, he had a best friend who was deeply in love with him and more than happy to bite back.
"Hey! Don't you yell at my Jasper!" Henry seethed at his sister, making his friends cringe at his odd choice of words.
"He jacked my girly-curly!" Piper hissed back. She was always ready for an argument, especially if she felt that she'd been wronged in some way. Stepping forward, she plucked two clumps of Jasper's eyelashes from his face as punishment for stealing her curling wand.
"Ow! She yanked off my eyelashes!" Jasper whined and turned to (y/n) so she could assess the damage. There wasn't much she could do, it would just sting for a few minutes, but Henry, well, he was seeing red.
"Piper! You just hurt someone I love!" The boy told her in a heartbroken, disgusted voice, but Piper wasn't done.
"Yeah, and I'm just getting started!" She growled and began to flick Jasper in the eyes as he groaned and moaned in pain.
"No, stop!" He begged, but she was too angry. She wanted him to feel pain.
"Piper, stop!" Henry yelled at her, feeling his fury grow and the lovey-dovey haze in his eyes was descending from a sweet pink colour into a deadly scarlet.
"Piper, quit that! No! No! Nooooo!" Henry reached his tipping point as his sister used her surprising strength to launch Jasper over the couch, which left him groaning in pain.
"Henry, oh my god! Are you okay?" (y/n) asked the teen as she noticed him convulsing and straining until he fell on the floor. Okay, what was going on?
"You okay?" Charlotte asked him too as Piper made herself scarce. Her work here was done, Jasper would never touch her stuff again. The girl and woman helped Henry to his feet and he blinked in confusion as his mind cleared.
"Ah, yeah. Yeah, I think so." He said in a tired voice and Jasper approached him cautiously when his best friend looked at him.
"No more hugging me, please." He begged Henry, whose face crumpled in disgust. Why would he want to do that?
"Hugging you? Ew." He gagged and his friends looked at each other in shock. The expression on Henry's face told them that he'd rather eat his own hand than give his friend a hug and that spoke volumes to them.
"Ewwww? Wait! Aren't you in love with Jasper?" Charlotte asked Henry as he rubbed his eyes and she waited for the response she was hoping for.
"In love with--what?! No, no!" The boy quickly denied it, much to the amazement of (y/n), Jasper and Charlotte.
"Holy shit, this is awesome!" The young woman breathed out as she smiled at Henry, even though he was still feeling pretty groggy.
"What is? How come Henry doesn't love me anymore?" Jasper whined. Sure, it was weird as hell to see his best friend look at him like that, but those shoulder rubs were nice.
"I think 'cause Piper when was harassing you, it made Henry feel really angry." Charlotte prompted and (y/n) suddenly knew what she was getting at.
"So?" Henry asked, still feeling puzzled after losing the effects from the muffin.
"So, when you feel strong emotions, your body releases chemicals into your brain." (y/n) explained and Jasper used her knowledge to piece everything together.
"Ohhh, so like, when Henry felt anger, it drove out his feelings of love?" Jasper theorised and he was bang on with his idea. The anger took over the love and then pushed it away, simple.
"Yeah, we think that's what happened.' Charlotte looked to (y/n) and she nodded in confirmation. It sounded plausible, now, they just needed to try it out on Ray.
"Okay, okay, so now, all we gotta do is make Ray like, insanely mad, so he'll fall out of love with Gwen," Henry said and they all knew that it was easier said than done.
"Well, but, how are we gonna get him mad enough?" Charlotte asked, but then the perfect person for the job popped into her mind and Henry's and Jasper's, as it happened.
"Why are you all looking at me like that?" (y/n) asked as she saw three pairs of eyes on her and it made her skin prickle. Yeah, she knew how to make Ray tick but she didn't know if she wanted to see him like that, especially when it was directed at her.
"'Cause you know Ray better than anyone, you can get him mad," Henry told her. She knew everything about Ray, every wrinkle that made him seethe and scream, surely, she could think of something that could rile him up.
"Okay, but how should I do it? I can't just strike up a conversation with him, he can't hear me through his love dream thing, otherwise, we wouldn't be in this situation." (y/n) pointed out and they all took a minute to think. If a conversation wouldn't work, then they needed to up the ante. 
"Ooo, you could pick a fight with him," Jasper suggested and everyone liked that idea. 
"Yes." Henry nodded at his best friend as (y/n) started to plan what she'd say to her best friend. Of course, some obvious topics always upset him, but she had some other ideas too bouncing around her mind that could throw a spanner in the works. She hated to see him sad, but it was worth it because it was for his own good.
"Okay, I go in there, I start an argument and get him mad. Easy." (y/n) smiled at the boys, ready to get her friend and heart back, but Charlotte had some apprehension towards the plan.
"Oh, come on! Ray could kill you! You can't pick a fight with Ray!" The young girl reminded her of Ray's brutal strength and the worry in her eyes melted (y/n)'s heart. It was nice to have her friend's care and concern, but this was the only way.
"Char, one of us has to do it and I've got my super-regeneration so--" She tried to calm the girl, but she wasn't done.
"It might not be enough...If Ray loses his temper, there's no knowing what he'll do to you." She said softly and the woman knew she was right. Captain Man's strength was legendary and if unleashed against her small body, her power might not be able to keep up with a vicious attack. 
"We don't have a choice. If it's not me, then it's got to be one of you three." She looked at the kids and Charlotte and Jasper immediately put their hands up.
"Not it!" They said together, effectively naming Henry as the backup option. 
"Well, if I die, you're up next, Hen." (y/n) giggled at the young boy, but he was ready to step up if he had to. He'd probably survive slightly longer than Jasper and Charlotte if Ray started to throw him around the room.
"Then, let's go." Charlotte accepted their fates and they walked to the door. Poor Schwoz had been jumped by a group of mean kids and was being beaten on the ground when they opened the door. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to leave him alone.
"Hey, hey, hey! Get outta here!"
"Leave him alone!"
"Pick on someone your own size!"
"Delinquents!" The four yelled at the kids and they quickly scarpered when the group appeared. They were smart enough to know when they were outnumbered, but clearly not smart enough to know that bullying people wasn't cool.
"Jerks!" Schwoz yelled after them with a grouchy face and threw a twig at the kids' retreating bodies. He missed by a mile, but it made him feel better; he couldn't help it if he was an easy target for a pack of bullies.
"Come on, let's get to the Man Cave!" Henry said to his friends and they all briskly walked off the porch as Schwoz collected his shoes that the children had removed. Poor guy, he always got the short end of the stick.
~In the Man Cave~
So listening to Ray and Gwen makeout was one of the hardest things (y/n) ever had to do. She and Henry were hiding behind a machine at the back of the room as they waited for Ray to be alone and with the noise of smacking lips in her ears, it felt like forever.
"Ugh, this is revolting." She grumbled to the boy as they kneeled in the corner. Her voice was low and her knees were cold, but they couldn't risk being spotted by that evil witch. That would ruin the plan and then they'd be back at square one.
"Shhh, it's all right. You know, he doesn't mean it." Henry reminded her that Ray wasn't in his right mind and (y/n) nodded with a sigh. Right, he didn't know what he was doing, but she was still stuck in the friendzone either way. She was his friend, nothing more.
"I know, I know, but it's still gross. All she uses is tongue." (y/n) shuddered, but suddenly, Henry grabbed her shoulder and peeked around the corner of the machinery.
"Look! She's leaving!" He told her and he was right. Gwen said something about robbing the Swellview Bank and then she was off through the sprocket, probably going to freshen up in Ray's room or leave a mousetrap in (y/n)'s bed. Either way, she was up to no good, but it gave them the opportunity they needed. 
"Oh god, oh god, wish me luck." She breathed to the kid and stepped out from their hiding place. It was now or never with all her courage mustered.
"Soooo...Charlotte?" She started, following the plan they had come up with and upon hearing her cue, the girl sprung from behind the cabinet next to the elevator.
"Yeah, (y/n/n)?" The girl asked politely and innocently as she walked down from the tubes. Ray looked at them like they were insane but they kept going as per the plan.
"Who do you think should win the "Most Attractive Guy in Swellview"?" (y/n) asked the girl, starting off with a small irritating thing that would no doubt get under Ray's skin.
""Most Attractive guy in Swellview"?" She reiterated, making sure that Ray heard what they were talking about. This was sure to make him mad, even if it was just a starting point.
"Yeah, who do you think should win it?" (y/n) asked again, keeping her focus on her young friend so she wouldn't falter.
"Uh...." Charlotte held off for a minute and that's when Jasper stood up from behind the couch to say his line.
"Hey, what about Henry's dad?" He prompted, irritating Ray a bit. He had the worst hiding place and had nearly puked when he heard the couple kissing and slobbering over each other. Next, came Henry, who trotted down from the same place (y/n) did, with an innocent look on his face.
"Oh, yeah, my dad." He agreed and he and Jasper walked over to the girls. So far, so good.
"Yah, your dad is so hot," Schwoz added, springing up from the supercomputer. Okay, they were all assembled and now, they just had to set (y/n) up for the kill. 
"Uh-huh, very true, I think he's gorgeous, a very attractive man." The young woman lied to her friends and they all heartily agreed, which struck a chord with Ray. Wait, why did his best friend liking another guy get to him so much? Through his Gwen mindset, the notion pierced his heart and was like the first droplet that would start the tsunami of rage and free him.
"Wait, wait, wait a second, you guys." He interrupted their happy chatter as he tried to make sense of his jealousy. Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, was all his brain was supposed to be loving so why was (y/n) suddenly creeping into his thoughts?
"Yeah?"
"What's up, buddy?" They all looked at him with friendly faces, but they could all see the first signs of exasperation on his face. Oh good, they were getting to him.
"Just a friendly reminder, I've won "Most Attractive Guy in Swellview" for the past twelve years, sooo...it's kinda in the bag." Ray bragged, not knowing that he was falling right into their trap. This was exactly what (y/n) had predicted and with a nod from the teens, she moved into phase two.
"Well, yeah, but...you're kinda old now, so...not much point in hoping." (y/n) smiled at him, gulping when she said the "o-word" and saw how his face dropped. Ray's age was a touchy subject; he hated that despite all his power and fame, even he couldn't escape time. He was slowly getting older and older with each passing day. 
"I'm old?" He repeated, thinking he'd misheard her. Schwoz, Henry, Charlotte and Jasper were tight-lipped as they watched the couple go toe-to-toe. They were nervous, but they trusted her to get the job done and hopefully, Ray would remember how much he loved her before he started throwing fists.
"Yeah, I mean, you're so much older than me. What are you, like, over fifty?" She asked, deliberately exaggerating her estimation for maximum anger. She knew Ray's exact age like she knew her own, but she had to be cruel to be kind.
"Fif--did you just use the f-word?" Ray gawped at her in shock, thinking that his best friend was way out of order, but she just smirked and laughed in his face. 'Gwen, no, (y/n), Gwen, but (y/n)'s so pretty, no, I...love Gwen?' His mind was at war and the young woman was making it worse.
"Hey, look, I'm just saying that--" She laughed it off, but Ray was in arguing mode now.
"I'm thirty-five, (y/n). You know that." He said and patted her bare arms. She was so getting dressed after this was done. Not knowing how to carry on after that, she turned around and saw Jasper, Henry and Charlotte pointing to their hair and she got the message. Good idea.
"Well, I mean, I've noticed that you're starting to lose your hair a bit..." She told him and Ray whipped around with an angry face. 'Don't be scared, don't be scared.' She told herself and kept her expression light-hearted and disparaging. 
"What did you just say to me?" He growled at her and seeing that he was sufficiently angry, she moved onto phase three.
"Oh hey, where's Gwen?" She asked innocently, but also like she was hiding something. She played off her mocking tone by looking around the room for the evil woman and Ray glared daggers at her back.
"Gwen happens to be getting ready to go rob a bank." He informed her and she nodded in understanding. This one would really get to him.
"Or...maybe she's not going to rob a bank. Maybe, and I'm just throwing this out there, she's going to meet some other guy." She suggested and sat down on the computer chair with her arms folded and one leg crossed over the other. It was a horrible thing to suggest, but it didn't matter, it wasn't real love anyway.
"She's going to rob a bank," Ray hissed in a childish voice, but the young woman had planted the seed of doubt in his mind and it was festering into a furious rampage. Much like what Henry had experienced, the pink love dream was fading into red as Ray succumbed to his anger.
"Or maybe...she's going to meet some guy named Rob...Banks." (y/n) hinted, a look of amusement on her face just so she could watch Ray get angry at her bemused attitude.
"That's stupid. That's not a guy's name." He frowned, saying it more to himself than anyone else. Hey, since when was (y/n) so beautiful with grubby pyjamas and messy hair?
"Uh, yeah it is. Get real, doofus. Gwen doesn't want you, she wants Robert J. Banks." She taunted him, following closely behind him as he stomped away from the computer. She wasn't going to let him escape and neither were the kids or Schwoz. They had the exits covered, Ray couldn't go anywhere. It was just him, (y/n) and their argument.
"Y'know why? I bet he's way better-looking than you." She hissed in his ear, standing her tiptoes so she could say it in a malicious whisper. Ray was tensed in anger and his skin shivered at the feeling of her breath on his ear; why was she so alluring all of sudden? Gwen...
"Not possible." He shouted in response as the love chemical fought to keep control of his brain. However, his real love was stronger and it was a battle that would surely be won by his heart.
"Yep. He's probably in his early thirties, y'know, young and handsome." She snapped back in a strong voice, daring him to get even angrier. 
"That's enough, (y/l/n)," Ray ordered her, not liking this new insubordination from his best friend. How dare she question Gwen's love for him? But damn, she was hot when she was angry...
"Yeah, he's gonna kiss her so good, because why would she want you? A middle-aged, unattractive nobody who sucks at kissing! And trust me, I know! I've had experience and it was terrible, why would anybody want you?" She ranted, spewing cruel lies left, right and centre and the small part of his brain that was free turned furious at the thought of losing his soulmate over being a bad kisser, the girl he'd dreamed of kissing ever since they shared one and it was the final straw for Ray.
"Ahhhhh!" He yelled and lunged for her, grabbing her by the shoulders and the thin straps of her pyjama vest.
"Oh shit!" She squealed as Ray used his brute strength to throw her across the room, making her land harshly by the elevator. Her friends cringed as her ankles collided with a cabinet and she had to admit, that hurt. She took a few seconds to give her body the chance to repair her sprained ankle and numerous cuts, bruises and lumps. Okay, she had to keep going.
"Look, Ray, it's not my fault she likes younger guys." She panted and scrambled to her feet as Ray stormed towards her again. Ray seized her by the throat and she gulped at the fury in his eyes. Fury was good but it also was cutting off her air supply and crushing her windpipe.
"Oh, wow, look at that! A grey hair! Wow, there's loads, you're going grey, Raymond!" She smirked and ran her fingers through his hair even though movement made the burning of her lungs worse.
Not wanting to be mocked anymore, she was thrown to the floor again as Ray growled in rage. At least this time, all she had to heal was some bruised palms and a cracked larynx. She groaned as she laid at the teens' feet, but she couldn't say down for long.
"Keep going, you gotta make him madder!" Charlotte knelt beside her head and Henry agreed. Ray was mad, but he wasn't mad enough. 
"Don't you think I'm working on that?---Whoaaa!" She was dragged away by her ankles as Ray continued to beat her up. The irritation of the tiles on her belly made small friction burns appear where her tank-top rode up, but that was the least of her worries. Dragging her to her feet again by her hair, Ray forced her to the ground again, so her battered body slid across the room. Okay, she really wanted this to stop now. Time to get clever.
"Come on, hard man, you ain't so bad! Come get me, dickhead!" She jeered at him and this time when he went to grab her throat, she ducked out the way and went to jump on his back. Ray was too experienced for that rookie move though and threw his torso back so she was bashed against the couch.
"This is so cool to watch!" Jasper told her as she bent over the back of the sofa and caught her breath. She'd never put her regeneration through this much suffering and she was starting to get the idea that too much usage could really wear her down. 
"Oh, I'm glad you're enjoying my pain." She smiled sarcastically at the boy and patted his shoulder, but Jasper recoiled quickly when Ray came back. He grabbed her shoulders again and pushed her harshly against the steps at the back of the Man Cave, making the young woman wince.
"Oh, that's definitely a broken rib." She yelped, clutching her side in pain, but she had very little time to feel it pop back into shape as Ray charged at her. Raising her leg, she stopped him in his tracks before he could swipe at her and she pushed him back. 
"She probably makes muffins for all the guys." She gasped at Ray and got back on her feet even though her body was begging her to do the smart thing and stay down.
"She only makes muffins for me!" Ray screamed at her with a snarling face, but she just gave him the finger and smirked.
"Well, that's not what I heard!" She shrieked back and that's when he lunged at her for the millionth time.
"Oh, god!" She squealed as Ray flipped her over in a somersault and her back flopped roughly on the tiles. Oh good, a slipped disk, how lovely. Yet another injury that her genes rushed to repair as she lay paralysed on the floor.
"(y/n)!" Henry ran to her side with Jasper and Charlotte close behind him. They helped her up when she told them to do so and she panted at the exertion. Blood was trickling from the corner of her mouth and for a brief second, she wondered if it would be better to give up before he killed her. No. She was going to snap him out of Gwen's control or she was going to die trying.
"Uh-oh..." Schwoz's fearful voice made her look to her best friend and her eyes widened as she watched him grab a blaster from a drawer. Shit, she was too close to the others.
"Ray, don't!" Charlotte begged him, but he couldn't stop his rage. Shoving herself away from her friends, (y/n) stood in front of them protectively and stared down the barrel of Ray's gun. She never thought she'd see him point one at her, but it would always be her before her friends, especially the kids. 
"You know, Ray, I never thought I'd feel this way about you but I do. I can't help it, it's just been on my mind for a while now..." She started, giving Ray her best glare as she shrugged off the flinch from him cocking the blaster.
"(y/n), don't!" Jasper begged her, not believing she was being so reckless when her best friend had a gun in his hand. Yes, they had to make him angry, but this was too extreme, even for a super-regenerating heroine.
"I'm sorry, Ray, but I hate you!" She told him in an insulting tone and she kept her cool despite her thumping heart. She saw his eyes twinge in recognition as his finger stilled on the trigger and then...he groaned and started to shake. 
"I think you did it! It's working!" Charlotte gasped as the young woman trembled and watched her best friend fall to the floor. Thank god, it was over. 
"Ray?! Ray?!" Henry, Schwoz, Jasper and Charlotte scrambled to the man's side as she stayed leaning against the couch. She needed a minute.
"Can you hear us?" Charlotte asked him as he was led over to the supercomputer chair. (y/n) stumbled behind the group, trying to keep her nausea down as she tasted the metallic tang of blood on her tongue. She felt exhausted, but her hope was burning bright and that was what was keeping her going. 
"Ray, are you okay?" Henry reiterated as his boss puffed in the chair and shook his head from side to side. He felt so groggy and confused, but at the same time, like he'd been set free.
"Ah, what happened?..." He asked his friends as he tried to remember what he'd been doing for the past twenty-four hours. All he could see was his friends crowding around him, well, not all of them, one was holding back.
"...I was in love with a woman, uh...Gwen!" Ray gasped as the woman's evil smirk flashed into his mind. He couldn't describe how it had felt to be controlled, it was like he wanted to stop his actions, but he couldn't. Everything that was him had been shoved aside for the mind-control to take over and he couldn't stop it.
"She gave you a love muffin," Schwoz explained and Ray looked confused. He remembered something about muffins, but things seemed so blurry, he wasn't thinking straight.
"Yeah and then, (y/n) had to make you really mad so your feelings of rage and anger would overpower your muffin-induced feelings of love," Henry recalled and Ray snapped his head to the boy at the mention of his girl. She wasn't with them so...
"(y/n)...where is she?" He demanded to know and Henry and Charlotte looked at each other nervously before parting ways. (y/n) was still stood against the couch, listening to every word. Ray's eyes grew wide from horror as he took in her appearance; her pyjamas were torn and grubby, blood-stained in some areas where she'd suffered a scrape and she still had dark circles under her eyes and dried blood in the corner of her mouth. He stood up rapidly and she offered him a small smile to make him calm down, but he couldn't stop his heart from breaking.
"What...happened?" He asked her as he cautiously stepped towards her and she loosely folded her arms across her tummy. She was still hurting badly from what had happened to her that day. The beating, the sobbing, the prospect of losing her home, but most of all, the fact that she was still just his friend, nothing more, even after everything she'd been through.
"I made you mad and, uh...you, well, got mad." She told him nervously and he choked up. He did this? The blood, the torn clothing, the bags under her eyes, he hurt her? 
"I--I did this?" He stuttered, tears springing in his eyes as she sighed kindly. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know what he was doing. She wanted him to get angry and she knew that she'd be hurt. And it wasn't like her physical injuries were permanent, no, they had healed just fine, all that was left was her bleeding heart.
"I'm fine, honestly. Y'know, super-regeneration and stuff. I'll live." She giggled, even though she was feeling anything but humourous. 
"Sweet girl, I--" Ray started and his fingers twitched to reach for her cheek, but before he could say something, anything, the sprocket opened and the witch stepped out.
"Quick, guys, go hide! Take care of (y/n)!" Ray turned to his friends and gently guided the young woman into Henry's arms so he could take her to behind the couch. His touch was so tender to what it had been five minutes ago.
"Okay, Ray, I'm about to leave. It should take me about, hmmm...twenty minutes to rob the bank." Gwen told the superhero as she sauntered down the steps. She didn't see any other movement in the room, thankfully and the team tucked themselves into their hiding places.
"Aw, that sounds great." Ray smiled at her, even though the mere sight of her made his stomach churn. God, that must've been a strong muffin to distract his heart from the love he felt for his best friend. She was perfect and Gwen was so...blergh.
"Oh hey, how do you like my ponytail?" The criminal asked him, ruffling her hair up seductively and fluttering her eyelashes at the superhero. There was only one person he wanted to see do that, he was sure of that now. 
"Oh...I love it. I mean it's really cute and just so--" Ray brought his hand up to her head with a charming smile on his face. Gwen accepted his touch, but the moment his fingertips got to her hair, he yanked the ponytail clean off.
"You just ripped my ponytail off my head!" Gwen glared at him, but her sneer dropped when she saw how Ray wasn't looking at her with love, he was looking at her with hate.
"You're not in love with me anymore." She gasped and suddenly felt like she was trapped. 
"Nope, not anymore, bitch." (y/n) stood up from her hiding place with Henry and Jasper and Gwen gulped when she realised that she was outnumbered. She wasn't in charge anymore.
"Sorry, Gwen," Charlotte smirked as the woman backed up and scanned the room for an escape room. Oh, she was definitely panicking now.
"How'd you like dem muffins?" Jasper quipped, making his friends smirk. Oh, Jasper, he was goofy but loveable.
"And now, Gwen, I'd be honoured to escort you to prison," Ray told her, but she'd planned for this. The first rule of being a criminal: have a backup plan and Gwen's was particularly sneaky. She held up her phone in Ray's face, making everyone step back. What was she planning?
"Look out!"
"She's got a phone!" Jasper cried, holding his hands up like a karate master. Yeah, like he could chop his way out of trouble.
"So, who cares?" (y/n) seethed as she kept her glare fixed on her rival. She would be her greatest enemy for a long time.
"You better care, bitch. Because if I tap right here, it's gonna send a post out telling the whole world that Ray Manchester is Captain Man, Henry Hart is Kid Danger and silly little (y/n) (y/l/n) is Miss Danger." Gwen threatened the three supers as she stepped up to the tubes. Oh, that was evil, the perfect escape plan.
"Anything about me?" Jasper raised his hand and asked. He was curious to see if she had thought of him too, but she didn't care about a stupid teenage boy.
"You let me go, and I'll keep your secret. Deal?" Gwen offered the three and they descended into whispers as they thought about what to do.
"Do we have a deal or don't we?" Gwen demanded harshly, leaving them almost no time to think about their situation. It wasn't really a deal, more of a forced ceasefire.
"Yeah, we've got a deal...for now." Ray hissed at her, seeing no other way to keep himself and his Man Cave family safe.
"But someday, you're going to jail," Henry promised her. He wouldn't rest until he saw that cruel face behind bars for what she had done to his friends.
"I doubt it," Gwen smirked as a tube came down around her. She had the upper hand and she knew it.
"Buh-bye, boys and girls!" She said, expecting to blast off, but of course, the tube wouldn't work unless you said the magic words, which she didn't know.
"Off I go!... Okay, what words do I have to say to activate the tube suckage?" She asked the giggling group, feeling pretty annoyed at how foolish she was appearing.
"Oh yeah...it's uh, diamonds, rubies, lift me...tubies." (y/n) joked, struggling to keep a straight face. She wouldn't believe that, would she?
"Thank you, maybe you're not as stupid and useless as I first thought...Diamonds, rubies, lift me, tubies!" Gwen yelled and everyone burst out laughing as she stayed on her spot. Oh god, that was a good one.
"Oh dear, Gwen. Looks like you're definitely as stupid and useless as I first thought." (y/n) mocked her through her giggles, loving that she was able to get one up on the woman one last time.
"I will tap this button, I swear I will tap it!" Gwen hissed and everyone straightened themselves out. No more joking around, it wasn't worth the risk.
"Uh, just say, up the tube," Charlotte told her reluctantly and Gwen followed her advice. She was gone in a flash and they could only hope that she'd keep her word.
"Whew. This whole thing was insane." Charlotte sighed as they relaxed, although no one noticed how (y/n) had gone quiet. Really quiet.
"Yeah, no kidding." Henry breathed out, glad that it was finally over, even though it wasn't.
"Well, at least we all learned something valuable," Schwoz told them, making them look at him in confusion.
"What'd we learn?" Jasper asked, thinking that they'd learnt nothing.
"We all learned that no matter how strong love is...anger is stronger." He told them and he didn't realise that it made the young woman behind the group hyperventilate more.
"Good point," Henry said, thinking that it was fair play. That's technically what they had learned, but it wasn't very comforting for a woman who had nearly lost everything.
"Hey, (y/n/n), what do you--oh my god, are you okay?" Charlotte turned to joke around with her, but her happy mood soon died when she saw how pale her friend was. Everyone else turned around to see their friend panicking and shaking and they realised that a night's worth of no sleep, just worry was catching up to her.
"(y/n), are you okay?" Ray asked her again and reached out to touch her, but she was already walking backwards away from his reach and the gang.
"Uh, no---uh, I...don't know. I just...need to be alone for a while," She stuttered, holding her hand to her forehead as she stumbled up the steps to a tubepad. 
"Sweet girl, let me come with--" Ray tried to follow her, but she looked at him in terror and it glued him to the floor. She'd never looked at him like that, not once. Was their friendship not strong enough to survive this?
"--No, I just, ugh...up the tube!" She cried out before she had to explain herself and she left them all standing there in confusion. She rode higher and higher and higher until she reached her little slice of heaven, her happy place.
"Guys, what do we do? We gotta help her!" Jasper exclaimed, looking to Henry and Charlotte for answers since they had known her longer than he had. But just because he'd only been working at Junk-N-Stuff for like, two weeks, it didn't mean he cared any less.
"Guys, she wants to be alone," Ray told them in a defeated voice and sloped off to go slouch on the sofa. He was her best friend and she didn't want him, so how could they hope to help? He'd lost her, he'd finally fucked up enough to push her away and that broke him. 
"Wait, there is one thing we can do..." Henry speculated, looking to Charlotte with a spark in his eyes. It was risky and possibly dangerous, something they'd only drafted together for dire emergencies, which made it perfect for now. Maybe it would work.
"You don't mean..." Charlotte gawped at him, not believing he was willing to go for it. They'd only planned it on a boring homework night, like, two years ago, it was daring and precarious. Was he sure?
"Charlotte...lobsters." Henry confirmed, making Schwoz and Jasper look at him like he was an alien. Lobsters?
"Henry, just leave it, she said she wants--" Ray's gruff grumbling was cut off by Henry, who was determined to do something, once and for all.
"Ray. I know what I'm doing, trust me. I'm gonna go talk to her." Henry told his boss firmly, his tone leaving no room for arguing. He'd thought about this plan long and hard. He wasn't going to let this ship sink, not on his watch.
"Charlotte, five minutes." He murmured to the girl as he walked past but she knew what to do. If they were doing this, then she was ready. Henry jumped up to the tubepad and waited for it to come down. He knew where (y/n) would be, she always went there when she was sad.
"Up the tube!" He yelled like she had done minutes before and with a whoosh of air, he was on his way. The clock was ticking.
~On the roof~
Project Lobster was a tricky thing and the brainchild of Charlotte and Henry for when they reached the point of crisis. Two years of watching Ray pine for (y/n) and (y/n) pine for Ray had led them to this, extreme measures. They just hoped it worked.
Henry stepped out onto the roof and sure enough, there was (y/n). She was leaning on the ledge, looking out at the city with soft, teary eyes and she sensed that she wasn't alone. This was her spot, she knew when something was up.
"Y'know, Ray showed me this. Valentine's Night, almost two years ago." She called out to the boy, not even having to turn around to know it was him. She could recognise Henry's footsteps easily, even if he was treading carefully.
"The roof?" He asked tentatively after shaking off his shock, confused as to why she liked it up here so much. It was windy and baren, but he hadn't seen the best bit yet.
"No, dummy. This." She gestured to the cityscape before her and she wondered if she had the same look of amazement that Henry had on his face when she first saw the view. His mouth was open like a goldfish as he took in the golden sky, streaked with burnt orange as the sun sank on the horizon. The city didn't seem to be so noisy all the way up here and the park was tranquil, no blaring, teenage music or fights from angry adults, just calm. 
"I never knew Swellview could look like this." Henry breathed out, making her chuckle sadly. It had that effect on everyone.
"Yeah, that was my reaction." She whispered, keeping her melancholy gaze on her fingers as they rested on the wall. 
"Hey...are you okay?" Henry asked, wanting to be gentle even though he was aware that he couldn't stay up here forever. Charlotte was keeping Ray busy downstairs and he had to stick to the plan.
"I wish people would stop asking, 'cause I...don't know." She told the boy, letting out a sigh and watching a flock of birds fly over their heads. Life become so complicated that she couldn't make heads or tails of it anymore. 
"Tell me," Henry instructed her, although it wasn't a command, more of a request from a concerned friend.
"Henry...it's stupid." She exhaled, not wanting to burden a young boy with what was bringing her down. She had been holding it in for nearly six years, she could hold it a bit longer.
"No, it's not. Say it, it's okay." The teen grabbed her hand and squeezed it, more than happy to be the one supporting her for a change. She had been there for him, now he was there for her.
"It's just...today, hearing Ray talk about marriage and kissing her and loving her...it got to me," she said it in the simplest way she could. Emotions are difficult things and they're often so complex, they can't be put into words.
"It was the love muffin." Henry reminded her, even though she knew that already. She'd had more than enough of damn love muffins for an entire lifetime.
"Yeah, I know, but it made me realise that one day, I'm actually going to have to watch him walk down the aisle and it won't be me on his arm." She choked up, thinking about how she'd always been the friend, always been the shoulder for him to cry on, always there to pick up the pieces...but never the girlfriend, the one he wanted like that. 
"Henry, I can't stand by and watch him marry someone else—I'm not strong enough. I know I pretend like I don't care but I do. I really, fucking do and it's killing me that he'll never see how much I love him. I want him so much and I can't keep lying, not anymore. " She confessed, letting a tear slip down her cheek. She was so fed up with crying, it was surprising that she had any tears left after sobbing for nearly two days straight. 
It was true though, she had been through so much with him: meeting Henry, then Charlotte, breaking into their school as fake teachers, nearly getting eaten by a space bug, meeting Schwoz again, watching Henry become a man-beast, battling Invisible Brad, twice, giving Ray his childhood back, nearly dying from letting a psycho into the Man Cave on a tour, defeating the Wall Dogs, being hypnotised by Dr Minyak, defeating the Time Jerker, the Christmas Kiss, superpowers, an opposite universe, Ox Pox, the return of The Toddler and Jasper's arrival. No one else had stuck with him through all of that, did it mean nothing to him that she had?
"So don't." Henry's words broke through her memories and she looked up at him in bewilderment. What was he going on about?
"What do you mean?" (y/n) asked him, looking at him in suspicion, but he wouldn't give anything away.
"Look, just come back down to the Man Cave in...three minutes and I'll explain everything then." He told her quickly after glancing at his watch and ignored the way her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"Why?" She looked him up and down, but couldn't pick anything up except that he was nervous or excited about something. Weird.
"It doesn't matter, but you have to come down in three minutes exactly, promise?" He gave her his best begging look and the offer of a promise was too good for her to resist. 
"Okay, I promise." She nodded, seeing that this was important to him. She could do as she was told, it wasn't like she had anything better to do.
"Good. Three minutes." Henry repeated the time again and then turned to leave her alone. He stepped on the tubepad and braced himself for the journey down. He just hoped this would play out perfectly.
~Back in the Man Cave~
"And that's why an octopus has three hearts." Charlotte finished recounting her story to Ray, Jasper and Schwoz, the latter of whom were very interested in what she had to say. Ray, on the other hand, was too depressed to care about octopi and their hearts, he only had one and it was broken. 
"Fascinating." He grumbled, his head resting on his palm as he slumped over on the couch. As per Project Lobster's details, Charlotte had made him shuffle around the half-moon shape until he had his back to the tubes and now, he was in position for the big finale.
"Sup, people?" Henry greeted his friends as he came down the tube on time, landing with his heart racing. This was happening and it wasn't a drill, he just had to stay calm and work with Charlotte.
"Hey, how'd it go?" The young girl asked him, Ray not even bothering to turn around. Well, that was good, that's what they wanted. 
"Oh, you know, she's still not ready to come down yet," Henry replied loudly but held up three fingers to indicate to Charlotte the time they had to play with. Three minutes on the clock and they were counting down fast. 
"Is she finished with me? Does she want to leave?" Ray asked his sidekick in a monotone voice as his heart clenched in pain from the thought of losing her. He didn't want her to go, not like this.
"Uhhh, she didn't say, why?" The boy replied, signalling to Charlotte for her to take over as he silenced the tube alarm. He couldn't make it completely silent, but he was sure that without the loud beeping, Ray wouldn't notice a thing.
"'Cause I've screwed up the one good thing I have and now my best friend hates me." Ray gulped down the lump in his throat and rubbed his eyes to stop the tears from flowing. He loved her so much, more than life itself and now she was gonna leave... Two minutes to go.
"Hey, Ray, what makes you love (y/n) so much? I mean, she's just a girl and you've gone out with hundreds of those." Charlotte prompted him, leaving it open for him to ramble to his heart's content. Schwoz and Jasper were very confused and wanted to say something, but a stern look from Henry and a finger on his lips told them that any interruption could spell disaster, so they buttoned it. 
"She's not just a girl, she's perfect and cute and smart. She knows how to make me laugh and she's not boring or big-headed. All the other girls are just dumb or blinded by Captain Man, but not my (y/n). She sees me, she sees Ray..." Ray argued, hating that Charlotte had called (y/n) just a girl. She was so much more than that.
"How did you meet?" The teen girl moved on to her next question, keeping the time in the back of her mind.
"In a coffee shop. Some jerk had broken in and held her captive, but by the time I'd gotten there, she'd already hit him over the head with a chair and dealt with everything. She was so shy and small but...beautiful. I asked her to come work for me." Ray explained, a soft smile on his face. That was the day his life became brighter, when a twenty-year-old college student beat some petty criminal up for spilling coffee down her shirt. 
"Right, that's cute. So, she's special to you?" Henry asked the question this time and he came to stand with Charlotte, Jasper and Schwoz at the couch. There was nothing left for them to do now. One minute on the clock and it was all up to Ray.
"Yeah, of course, she's special. She's stuck around through everything I've made her do and she's never complained. I make her fix my crap and wait up and do my laundry and now I take her into dangerous fights, for god's sake. What kind of a job is that for someone like her? A gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, young woman.  She's so outta my league and I know she deserves someone better who can give her a good life, but I can't help it...I'm in love with (y/n)."
"What?" Zero seconds on the clock.
Ray had shut out the world and all the noises it forced onto him, including the whoosh of a tube coming down with a weary young woman inside. She had stepped out of the glass casing just in time for her to hear the last bit and it was her gobsmacked utterance that cut through his daydream.
"What?" Ray gasped, shooting up like he'd been burnt by the couch and whipped around to see (y/n) looking at him with a wonderstruck expression. Henry, Charlotte, Schwoz and Jasper were frozen with excited trepidation; no one dared to move a muscle. Ray looked at his best friend with absolute fear from his loose-lipped admittance and felt his heart explode in panic.
"You love me?" She asked softly like she couldn't believe it herself. And she couldn't. 
She hadn't misheard and a pinch on the inside of her arm told her she wasn't dreaming, he'd actually said it. He'd actually said the words she'd only ever imagined in her wildest fantasies. 
"Wha..how--how much of that did you h-hear?" He asked her, feeling the most scared he had ever been in his life. He'd rather fight all his enemies at once than face her like this. He could practically feel the rejection coming.
"Enough..." she answered carefully, treating the situation with the utmost care like if she clung to this moment too hard, it would break. 
"Listen, (y/n), it was a mis--" She couldn't bear to let him finish, not this time. No more bouncing around the truth, not anymore. 
"No, you listen to me, Raymond Manchester. No more lies. I want the truth because I think that we aren't honest enough with each other and...we both deserve clarity after so much confusion." She told him calmly and clearly, even though she was feeling anything but calm. Absolutely fucking terrified was the correct way to describe how she was feeling or the closest she could get.
"The truth?" He repeated, looking her straight in the eyes. He'd known the truth for a long time and it had been his closely guarded secret, but not anymore.
"It's all I want." She nodded, leaving him to make the next move. The move that would change everything. 
"The truth is (y/n) (y/l/n)...I love you, so much it hurts." Ray whispered and the world stopped. His heart was thumping and bracing itself for loneliness and a life without its soulmate, whilst hers was soaring and reaching out to grab on and never let go. This was real and it was everything she'd ever asked for.
"Oh..." She gasped quietly, not knowing how else to react at first. Her mind took a second to let the confession settle in and for Ray, he took it as her being disappointed. 
His face broke away as he bit back tears again. So this was what they meant by heartbreak, it wasn't seeing her with other guys or missing her when she wasn't around, it was knowing that he'd made an error of judgement and it cut deep.
Snapping out of her shock, (y/n) stepped forwards and looked at his crumpled face. He needn't worry so much, she was right next to him, where she knew she belonged. 
"Don't look so sad, it's a good thing because...I love you too." Her face erupted into a smile when Ray's gaze shot to her face with so much shock, he looked comical. He couldn't think of anything to say that could triumph over what she had just told him so he just wrapped his arms around her shoulders and brought her into a warm embrace. The first of many that told them that they were home in each other's arms.
It was then that they both realised that their friends were shouting, clapping, whistling and dancing in celebration as they congratulated the couple and themselves for getting together at last.
"Finally!" Henry told Ray and clapped him on the back as (y/n) briefly let go of her doofus to hug Charlotte, Jasper and even Schwoz. This was their victory as much as hers and Ray's and it felt so unbelievably good to not keep their secrets anymore.
"Wait, how long have you lot known about him loving me?" (y/n) asked the group, who smirked at the baffled couple. They had drifted into each other's arms again and for the first time in forever, neither one was shy or embarrassed about needing the other's touch.
"Uh, since the moment I met you." Henry and Charlotte said together, making the couple chuckle. That was, like, two years ago, how long had this been going on?
"I've watched you two pretend not to love each other for eight years or more. You are both very blind." Schwoz shrugged nonchalantly, acting like it was no big deal, but it was. 
"Eig--you never said anything, doofus!" (y/n) slapped Ray's shoulder playfully as she leaned her head against his chest. She could hear his heart beating and now she knew—it was beating for her.
"Neither did you!" He argued back and pressed his lips to the top of her head. God, the girl of his dreams loved him as he loved her, he hadn't been chasing a hopeless fantasy for all these years, it was real. He didn't know who he had pleased to deserve this, but he wasn't going to let her go again. 
"Sorry...I thought you loved all those girls you dated, you never seemed to notice me. I just assumed that everything I feel for you was one-sided." She confessed, absentmindedly drawing patterns on his white shirt with her finger. Finally, she could enjoy having those massive arms around her and not feel weird for thinking her best friend was hot.
"They meant nothing to me, I promise. I tried to distract myself, 'cause I... I thought you were out of my league since you're so damn gorgeous." His baritone voice made chills go down her spine, and she gasped at his words. Coming from him, they made desire pool in her lower stomach and she decided that she wouldn't mind hearing them for the rest of her life.
"Ray, I look like shit." She chuckled bashfully and gestured to the pyjamas that still covered her body. They were wrecked, bloody, torn and dirty and they made her feel anything but gorgeous. 
"Nah, you look beautiful." He smiled down at her and loved the way her cheeks flared up with a pink blush. So cute and all his.
"Well, Project Lobster was a success." Henry shook hands with Charlotte, who definitely agreed. If they had known that it would work this well, they'd have done it a lot sooner.
"What the hell is Project Lobster?" Ray asked the teens as he cradled his girl to his chest. His girl, he'd been saying that for a while now, but he hadn't realised how right he'd been. It felt right, so very right and he knew that he'd say it for the rest of his life if she'd let him. 
"Henry and I came up with a plan, nearly two years ago, to get you two to say I love you." Charlotte began to explain and the couple listened eagerly.
"We would get you both alone and then you walk in on the other person saying it and then you'd be all gross and stuff." Henry brushed over the basics of the plan, which made it seem a lot more simple than it had been. It was like a Mission Impossible task and they were still reeling from the fact that they had managed to pull it off.
"But, you both swore us to secrecy and threatened to kill us if we revealed how you felt, so we just saved it for an emergency..." Charlotte trailed off, having said everything that made up their devious plan and Ray and (y/n) nodded with smiles on their faces.
"We're very grateful but, I have one question." (y/n) said, a small, puzzled frown on her face. It wasn't a big thing, but she'd never live it down if she didn't find an answer.
"Sure, what is it?" Henry asked, curious as to what she wanted to know.
"Why did you call it Project Lobster?" The young woman asked and everyone nodded at her question. It was a weird name.
"Yeah, why didn't you call it Project Get (y/n) and Ray Get Together?" Jasper suggested, even though the name was far too long and complicated for a top-secret mission.
"Because he's her lobster!" Charlotte exclaimed and everyone laughed at their silliness. It was true, he was her lobster and she was his. Cute.
"Well, I'm glad that I don't have to watch you two be all pouty anymore." Schwoz rolled his eyes and high-fived Jasper. He'd worked for Captain Man for two weeks and he was sick of it too.
"Yeah, it's over." (y/n) smiled up at Ray and he smiled down at her in return. No more secrets, no more hiding, just their love for each other. Only, it wasn't quite over just yet.
"Um, Ray, this is the part where you put us out of our misery and kiss her." Henry hissed in his boss's ear and the man blushed at the four smirks being sent his way. Oh yeah, he forgot about that part. Ray looked at (y/n), who had pink dusted all over her cheeks, but there wasn't a sign of disgust or rejection on her features, just happiness and love.
"Can I?" He breathed out, wanting to make sure that she was okay with this even though she was already on her tiptoes and leaning in.
"Of course." She told him and her eyes flickered closed as their lips met. 
It was different to their first one, it wasn't about boundaries or trying to keep themselves under control, it was just them and they were free to show their love. Her hands tangled in his hair as he cupped her face to tilt her jaw open. Free to explore, Ray ran his tongue across her bottom lip and at last, he truly knew that she tasted like honey, just like he'd guessed. Before, he'd barely gotten a chance to confirm it or not and it had been so many months, the sweet taste had almost left his mind. Now, he'd never forget again. 
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His lips were still perfectly soft, just like she remembered and they made a shiver go down her spine as he went further than they did last time. Mint and bubble gum burst into her mouth for the second time in her life and she practically purred in pleasure, willing to him all of her and more.
Sadly though, the burning of their lungs said otherwise and that pesky instinct that told them they needed to breathe forced them apart. Reluctantly, Ray retreated from the kiss and pulled back to rest his forehead against hers as they panted.
"Wow," he chuckled breathlessly as he thought of what to say. Henry, Jasper, Schwoz and Charlotte had seen enough of the kiss to realise that they needed some privacy now and they all tiptoed away whilst they were still wrapped up in each other. Not that they minded, they didn't need anyone else anymore.
"I know." She giggled back, feeling drunk from the lack of oxygen and all the love lifting her heart.
"You've no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He confessed, stroking his thumbs over her cheekbones and down to her lips. So soft, he just wanted to have her again and again and he knew he'd never get tired.
"Well, I've wanted to kiss you again since last Christmas." She told him, trailing a hand down his chest, igniting his skin through his shirt as she felt his muscles. God, he had been pining just as much as her and he felt so stupid as he realised that every time he'd wanted to tell her everything, she would've accepted him with open arms, not rejected him like he'd feared.
"I love you so much." He told her again, wishing that he had said it sooner since they could have been so happy already if he had. Still, he now had the rest of his life to make up for it and he promised himself that he'd tell her every day. He had always told himself that she deserved the perfect guy, who would treat her like a queen and now, that was him.
"I love you too. With all of my heart." She mumbled and brushed her lips against his in a gentle kiss. It was meant to tease him, meaning she giggled when he tried to chase her touch as she pulled away. 
"Tease." He murmured in her ear as she smiled, although she was soon whimpering when he trailed his hot lips down the side of her throat and his hands ran down her curves to her hips. Five years of unspoken desire was surging to the surface, leaving them at the mercy of their lust. Now, she was actually glad that she was wearing such thin pyjamas. They allowed him to dip under her flimsy tank top and feel the soft skin of her stomach. God, she was burning up from the inside, out.
"Only for you, boyfriend." She teased further and bit her lip when she felt his hold on her tighten. A label, finally, something that could sum up what they had with two simple names. 
"My girlfriend, mine," Ray whispered into the spot just under her ear and knew that it was the thing he'd wanted to hear all his life.
Boyfriend and girlfriend. That would suit them just fine.
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gaycrouton · 10 months
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“[A] white buffalo was born and every Native American knew […] that this was a powerful omen and that great changes were coming.” - Albert Hosteen
I love how they brought this symbolism back in William by having his adoptive father handcraft a white buffalo mobile for him 🤍
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I love that the white buffalo symbolism shows Scully made the right choice, that William is safe with these people who just want to love and protect him.
The way they bring the “herd” of buffalo into his room to the framing of them as his white buffalo, I think it’s beautiful.
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Even the very first shot of the episode shows the Wyoming state flag, which proudly features a white buffalo.
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“[…] the white buffalo woman who came down from the heavens and taught the Indians how to lead virtuous lives and how to pray to the creator. She told the people she would return one day, then she turned into a white buffalo and ascended into the clouds, never to be seen again.”
While we now know from the revival that it was only temporary, they did everything they could to help him, and he was clearly very loved — by both his biological parents (the alien onesie) and his adoptive parents (the buffalo mobile).
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I’m not saying I love the William arc, but I do appreciate these small moments.
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dmwrites · 1 year
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The Beetlejoest was lost. Not that Joe was any better, really, but Beetlejoest hated being on the same level as Joe with anything, so you could understand how this was annoying. Joe had gone to the mangrove forest of the witch Shelby, to ask her for some mangrove roots and wood. He hadn't realized the time of night, the fool, and Beetlejoest had taken over, said fuck the system, and went into the thick forest himself to just yoink some roots for himself. However, the fog in and around the forest was thick, and within a few minutes, the Beetlejoest was hopelessly lost.
“Stupid fog.” The Beetlejoest muttered, hitting the side of a mangrove tree with a stick he’d found. “Stupid Joe, wanting mangrove roots. What, is normal wood too good for you, you hipster? I’ll fight the fog, that’s what I’ll do. Intimidation is the only way to get what you want, ya hear that, fog?”
“You can’t fight fog, you miserable shit.” A voice, airy and echoing, came from the fog.
“Ahh! Wha- who’s there? This ain’t my ex-wife, is it?”
“What? No, I don’t think I’m your ex-wife.” A tall figure stepped into view. The being was slightly translucent, although the Beetlejoest could still see that the figure wore a faded yellow sweater, with a peculiar blue stain. “I’m Ghostbur. Who are you? And have you seen a blue sheep around?”
“Ah, well, see, me here, I’m the Beetlejoest, in no way affiliated with Joe Hills, thank you very much.” The Beetlejoest adjusted his suit and stuck out a hand. Ghostbur tried to shake it, but since they were both ghosts, they just had an awkward moment where their hands went through each others. “I haven’t seen or heard a sheep, much less a blue one. Can’t see a darn thing in this fog.”
“Well, if you see one, it’s name is Friend, and it fucking ran off.” Ghostbur started to wander off, but the Beetlejoest ran after him.
“Wait! Wait! I would normally time you out and make you read the rules, and cursing is one of them, but beggars can’t be choosers! I am lost, and I need help getting out of this dumb forest! I can help you find your sheep, first, of course, I’m not a monster, just a ghost, a Beetlejoest doing the beetlemost, if you will.”
Ghostbur turned to look at him. “You talk so much, yet say so little. But I guess I also don’t have a choice, so come on then.”
The Beetlejoest opened and closed his mouth in surprise and outrage, but decided to wait to strike his revenge and followed the taller ghost.
“Friend! Friend! Come back I have some nice wheat for you!” Ghostbur called into the fog.
“What kind of name is Friend, anyway?” The Beetlejoest grumbled crossly. “Did you have to be 2014 tumblr quirky or something?”
“You must be American- you remind me of that annoying American guy with the onesie. Came into my house and put American flags up. I burnt them, naturally. You’re not Connor in disguise, are you? He’d be the type to get lost in fog.” Ghostbur sneered.
“No, I am The Beetlejoest through and through.” The Beetlejoest said. “But if you wish to speak on the American flag, did you know that-”
“Shut up, I hear baa-ing!” Ghostbur interrupted. “Friend? I have some wheat! Come here!”
And out of the fog came a fluffy blue sheep, which looked calmer then both of the ghosts combined. Ghostbur hugged it in relief and tied a lead to it.
“Right, so, I helped you, now will you help me find my way out?” The Beetlejoest asked.
Ghostbur laughed awkwardly. “Well, I’m afraid that I’m now in the same boat as you. I am also lost. I don’t even know how I got into this forest in the first place.”
The Beetlejoest looked at him in surprise. “How can you not know how you got here?”
Ghostbur frowned, a puzzled look on his face. “I don’t know. I wasn’t here, and then I was.”
“Well, where were you before, then?” The Beetlejoest asked.
Ghostbur shook his head. “I’d rather not… don’t worry about it, alright? I’m sure if we walk in a line, we’ll find an end. Where? I don’t know.”
So, with no other option, they walked. They made for quite a crew- a black and white ghost in a pinstripe suit, a ghost with a yellow sweater, and a blue sheep. They walked through the fog, avoiding mangrove trees that came out of nowhere and ignoring the whispers. And eventually, somehow, they emerged from the fog and were right in front of Shelby’s house.
“We did it!” The Beetlejoest said. “I’m back where I was. I don’t know how, but we did it!” He went to high-five Ghostbur, but found the man gone, the sheep as well. All that was left was a bit of blue substance on the ground, like a rock or something. The Beetlejoest picked it up, and as he did, the first rays of sun peaked over the treetops, and Joe Hills took his place. He held the blue substance in his hands, not a solid or a liquid, but something else entirely.
“Well, thanks Ghostbur. And Friend. Sorry we didn’t get to say goodbye.” Joe said. He pocketed the blue stuff, and took the nether portal nearby back home. He could just use something else in place of those mangrove roots. He didn’t need them that badly.
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candy-skullss · 1 year
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Valentines Special! <3
Happy Valentines! Hope you all had a good day
here is Valentines with the full Villain house white elephant edition
DIO
Out of the hat, the name he drew was Valentine!
Now as we all know DIO likes to prove he is the best so he must be the best at gift giving
DIO would think long and hard (Not really) about what to get Valentine then it comes to him
A blanket
An American-flagged-themed blanket! He always sees Valentine wrapped in the flag he always carries around
so why not buy him one that is actually a blanket
Funny Valentine
*Drum roll* Pucci!
Okay so Valentine usually talks to Pucci in the morning while he is grabbing a cup of coffee or just having talks with him every so often
Maybe a coffee mug or something religious? But he worships Dio a lot but buying Dio merchandise doesn't sound like something he wants to do
Coffee mug it is! and perfect a prewrapped mug that already comes with chocolate (does Pucci even like chocolate- that is a worry he had)
Valentine was pretty happy with the mug not anything to flashy nor anything cheap (good job Mr. President)
Enrico Pucci
(Diffently not rigged) He got DIO
Ahh lord DIO Pucci knows exactly what to get him
A Nice fancy bottle of red wine and a new book
Any gift he gets DIO he is just happy DIO will receive (DIO will like the gift either way because Pucci is the only person there he is really friends with)
Diego
Diego of course got Kira (time to bully him)
God did he have plans to give Kira a gift he knew would piss him off
Diego finds an online store that does custom aprons and well it kinda clicked for him
Kira cooks and Cleans why not get him an apron
And well well customize the text (insert evil Diego smirk)
He gets an apron with the words "I like hands"
the most basic of writing but oh how fitting it was
Yosikage Kira
Kars! he looked at the paper with little to no ideas
What do to get for the ultimate lifeform that barely interacts with any of them
May as well just go with what he knows! A nail care set and some lotions
differently not the best gift to receive from Kira but eh what can you do
Kars
Doppio/Diavolo hmm one of the humans that interest him seems he is required to get two gifts (they both deserve gifts)
Kars has seen how Doppio likes frogs and once saw him use one as a phone soo might as well get him one
Kars gets a live frog for Doppio
And for Diavolo who usually shuts himself off in his room
A weighted blanket he saw Diavolo stare at one when an ad played for it
turns out Kars is a pretty good gift-giver he is very observant nothing less from the Ulitmate lifeform
Doppio/Diavolo
Diego! wow his friend Doppio was pretty happy Diavolo didn't really care
Doppio is the only one really putting effort into this (aka Diavolo is making him do all the work)
Doppio tries to encourage Diavolo to help come up with ideas "Boss come on at least try to help!" it didn't work
Doppio gets Diego a Dinosaur onesie!
It's cute and simple and he knows Diego loves dinos
Everyone seemed to of enjoyed their gifts! Except for Kira he was so pissed off at Diego. (RIP Diego) Everyone agreed that maybe this was something they could do again.
Thank you so much for reading I hope you enjoyed
I hope you all had a good Valentine's day and got something as well
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fagsex · 10 months
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my parental red flag is that i Am going to dress my kid up but like not for shows or anything my kids just gonna be in 3 piece suits and dress shows or perhaps a petticoat with train no matter the gender. ill dress up too if need be. like american girl dolls me and my kickass baby dress to the nines strutting on U and Ur 'i love french fries and grandma yes she bought me this onesie' Baby
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the302closet · 6 months
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Boys 6-9 months lot of short sleeve clothes.
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tippy27-blog · 7 months
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Carter's USA/American Flag Onesie.
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buniimomii · 10 months
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When you have a grown man in an American flag onesie ask you how to do I buy just one dr/ug at a dispensary, how can you not help him?
(After his purchase he comes back just to tell you, you were his new favorite person)
I just love selling lettuce
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svgplace · 10 months
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My first 4th of July SVG, July 4th Truck SVG, First 4th of July SVG
My first 4th of July SVG, July 4th Truck SVG, First 4th of July SVG, 4th of July Baby Onesies SVG, Kids Patriotic Shirt SVG, 4th of July SVG, Fourth Of July SVG, Patriotic Shirt svg, American Flag svg, Independence Day svg, Merica SVG Welcome to SVG Place. We design trendy and personalized files for all your crafting needs. This purchase involves a downloadable file and not a physical product.…
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Kurt Fashion: Big Brother
Link to masterpost
K but if it was senior ditch day then why did all the juniors come lol
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First let’s appreciate how Kurt is sitting. Perpetuating stereotypes but lol I can’t sit normally either. Again love these boots, esp with black pants. Noticing some patterns with his colour combos. Usually black/white, sometimes with pop of red or blue. Either that or all the earth tones. Haven’t seen him in green in a while and I miss it, he looks good in it. Anyway, love this look
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Kurt. Honey. Babe. How can you be so fashionable and then for workouts it’s just. I just. Return of those awful silver shoes, the stupid pants tucked into the socks, and omg the white socks. and can’t even say it’s for comfort bc then you have the hat and the ascot and omg the tank top over the tee I just. The colours work for him bc I love him in black and white and tbh waist up it’s chaotic enough to almost be cute but I just can’t with the sweats/socks/shoes. Kurt pls. Pls.
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See? Much better. Although this style is getting worryingly closer to Mr Schue... the cut of the shirt and the ascot helps? But you’re on v thin ice
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See I do not like mustard as a colour but just like with that one time he wore the mustard tie, it works here. Love it with the grey and that vest looks very comfy. And the pops of white just bring it all together. Brilliant.
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Quick shot of this cutie. Love the stripes on him as always, and i like his vest here. Babe.
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Ok. So. I like the concept of the shirt, with the black cuffs/collar (tho lowkey giving me flashbacks to the harness bc the black fabric here looks like leather lol). The shirt tho... what is the material? It looks v thin and cheaper than his usual stuff? And it’s so wrinkly?? We know you iron Kurt, what’s the deal?? Needs Improvement
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Return of the workout. I included them all bc like. Look at these cuties. I love Sugar’s the most and would totally wear that. Kurt... I mean, it’s better than the last one? And also why doesn’t he wear hoods more often, I really like it. Maybe it’s bc I’m not American but the whole flag pattern is always meh to me. bandanas are handy for workouts so I can excuse it here. Much improved from other outfit... tho I can def tell he’s wearing a onesie. Gonna try and ignore..... it’s fitted enough he can pull it off
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Happy Memorial Day 2022 Images, Pictures, Photo, Quotes, Sayings, Wishes & Quotes
Happy Memorial Day 2022 Images, Pictures, Photo, Quotes, Sayings, Wishes & Quotes:- Memorial Day is celebrated to honour all those American military men and women who tributes their lives for the nation. This day is to remember and thanking for their service during all the Civil Wars, World War, and other events. It's a very special patriotic day which teaches us to service the nation without any hesitation. These soldiers are the real heroes in the Unites States and that's why a day dedicated to them was started called, 'Memorial Day'. This celebration started from 30th May, 1868 when a major "General John A. Logan" called to all the Americans to pay gratitude and honour American soldiers's service.
Happy Memorial Day 2022 Images, Pictures, Photos
A huge number of American responded to this call and a large gatherings of people to pay tribute to the brave soldiers who lost their lives during wars and military action in the U. S. This very first observation to remember soldiers who died was referred to as the Decoration Day because main activity on this day was decorating graves of these soldiers.
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Happy Memorial Day 2022 Wishes & Messages
Wishing you happy Memorial Day and thanking for your sacrifices towards the country. May God bless you.
“Their silence is a beginning of the golden period; their sacrifice marked starting of a great revolution.” ― Happy Memorial Day
“Recognize the real heroes with a spirit in your mind & heart to pay tribute to them.”
The contribution made by the soldiers in bringing freedom to America is beyond expression. Let us thank them for their courage and promise to follow the legacy.
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Victory, you trumpets, over the rich Dead! There’s none of these so forlorn and poor of old, Be that as it may, kicking the bucket, has made us rarer endowments than gold.
There was nothing macho about the war at all. We were a bunch of scared kids who had a job to do.
Memorial Day wishes to all the proud citizens of the United States of America…. It is the day to salute all the martyrs and their sacrifices!!!
May da glory of our Savior Strengthen u And May His Graces Shine Upon u
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Happy Memorial Day!! Take time to reflect on what this day is about. Honoring those who paid the ultimate price for this great country.
Memorial Day is a time to Honour, reflect, and remember Those who’ve made the ultimate sacrifice for their country.
Mercy… Peace… Love… “Mercy unto you, and peace, and love be multiplied.” May the grace and glory of the Lord… surround you and be with you on
Thank you for your service. We are always grateful for this Memorial Day 2022 and all previous and future onesy 
Happy Memorial Day Quotes & Sayings
“Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy forget in time that men have died to win them…” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
“The brave die never, though they sleep in dust: Their courage nerves a thousand living men…” ~Minot J. Savage
“Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if they have ever made a difference in the world. A veteran does not have that problem…” ~Ronald Reagan
“The patriot’s blood is the seed of freedom’s tree…” –Thomas Campbell
“In the aftermath, we are because they were…” –RJ Heller
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“Here men endured that a nation might live…” –Herbert Hoover
“For the love of country, they accepted death, and thus resolved all doubts, and made immortal their patriotism and their virtue…” ~James A. Garfield
“Our flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies with the last breath of each soldier who died protecting it…” ~Unknown
“Where liberty dwells, there is my country…” –Benjamin Franklin
“America without her soldiers would be like God without His angels…” –Claudia Pemberton
“Home of the free, because of the brave…” –Unknown
“I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country…” –Nathan Hale
“Happy Memorial Day celebrate, honor, remember…” –Unknown
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“Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime…” ~Adlai E. Stevenson II
“Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy forget in time that men have died to win them…” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
“The brave die never, though they sleep in dust: Their courage nerves a thousand living men…” ~Minot J. Savage
“Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if they have ever made a difference in the world. A veteran does not have that problem…” ~Ronald Reagan
“For the love of country, they accepted death, and thus resolved all doubts, and made immortal their patriotism and their virtue…” ~James A. Garfield
“Our flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies with the last breath of each soldier who died protecting it…” ~Unknown
“Happy Memorial Day is for those we lost the whole of serving our country. Always remember!
“Happy Memorial Day. Thank you to all of the men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. Today and Every Day, we honor + remember you…!!!
“May we think of freedom, not as the right to do as we please, but as the opportunity to do what is right…!!!
Memorial Day 2022 Thank You & Remembrance Messages
Never miss on an opportunity to go something good for the nation….. Memorial Day is the day to take inspiration from these motivating souls who lived for the country!!!
No love is better than love for the nation….. All those soldiers who laid their lives for the country have expressed the purest form of love in this world…. On the occasion of Memorial Day, let us promise to become patriots like them.
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They are not there with us but they will always live in our memories….. Memorial Day is a sweet way to remember all the brave men and women who did not hesitate to give away their lives for the country.
We are a blessed county as our military has done every possible thing to get us freedom and protect us….. Make this Memorial Day special by remembering them in our prayers!!!
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dmwrites · 2 years
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Part two: first stop
(Read part one here)
After another silence of unknown length, the train began to slow. Connor perked up. Through the front windshield, a light was coming into view.
“You asked where this train was going. Well, your answer starts here.” The conductor said. “But you aren’t here to sit around. I need you to give that first one to him.” The conductor pointed to the other side of the train, where there were five identical wicker baskets sitting side by side.
“Who’s him?” Connor asked, getting up and taking the first basket in his hand regardless. The whole situation was too weird at the moment to defy orders. The conductor didn’t answer.
And then the train doors opened, and a bright light nearly blinded him after so long in dingy, dark fog. He stepped forward into the light, and his eyes adjusted almost in time with the hiss of the train.
He was in some kind of waiting area. There were two wooden benches against the back wall and incomprehensible music coming from tinny speakers, accompanied by the buzzing of sour-looking lights. There were stairs that lead up, but a wall abruptly cut them off. The place would have been a clean white color, by the looks of things, but every surface was covered with blue splotches. A figure rose to its feet from a bench.
“Hello?” A delicate and echoey voice made its way over to him, and suddenly, Connor did understand, and it was a horrible, crawling feeling.
“Ghostbur?”
The ghost was standing in front of him, eyes wide and bloodshot. “Who are you?”
“I- Connor. I’m Connor. I once tried to hang up an American flag in your house and you burnt it. In New L’Manburg.” Connor wanted to run- to where, he wasn’t sure. He’d only met the ghost of his friend once, but he knew the stories. And he also knew that Ghostbur wasn’t alive anymore; well, alive as a ghost can be.
“Oh, the boy in the blue onesie, yes, I remember you. I didn’t like you.” Ghostbur reached out a shaking hand dripping with what looked like blue ink, and gently pressed it to Connor’s face. Connor let him, closing his eyes. He knew what the blue splotches were now, and it hurt to think about. “But you’re here. Why are you here? Are you dead?”
“Dead?” Connor could feel his own heart beating fast. “Why would I be dead?”
Ghostbur was confused- Connor could hear it in his voice. “Alive people don’t come here…”
“I brought a basket from the train.” Connor opened his eyes again, bluntly switching the conversation. He could feel whatever that blue liquid was dripping down his face. “The conductor said it was for you. I don’t know what it is.”
Connor opened the basket to take out whatever was inside, but paused. Nestled in the red and blue checkered fabric that lined the inside of the basket was a charred book. The pages were bleeding out of the covers, all stained and incomprehensible. None of it could be read.
A conversation suddenly came to mind, one he’d had long ago with Tommy.
“I just wished I could have saved some of his books, you know?”
“What books?”
“Ghostbur’s library. All got destroyed with L’Manburg. All of our history, burned and bombed. He was never the same after that, Ghostbur was. He loved those books.”
A deep aching anger smoldered within Connor. He snapped the basket closed.
“What is it?” Ghostbur asked quietly. Connor looked at the blue boy, wondering how many hours he had spent with his blue-soaked hands slamming the walls. If he missed the sun and the feeling of books and leather and wool from that stupid blue sheep he’d always had. Connor opened the basket again.
“It’s a little blue sheep.” Connor said with wobbling cheer, and he pulled out a small, fluffy figurine made with real wool. The book was gone, and Connor’s whole nervous system was buzzing. Ghostbur cupped the small soft thing in his hands, blue bleeding into the already blue wool.
“Friend.” Ghostbur choked out, and he pressed the soft figurine to his cheek and closed his eyes.
The train’s whistle howled. Connor jumped, but Ghostbur didn’t even flinch, just opened his eyes and looked directly at him.
“You have to go. The train is leaving.”
“Come with me!” Connor begged.
“I can’t. It stops me.” Ghostbur had tears running down his face, but there was a small smile too. “I would never want anyone to have to be here like I am, so you have to go.”
The train gave another howl and started to move, and Connor ran for it, hopping inside right before the door closed. Connor ran to the window and watched Ghostbur and the room of desperate blue splotches disappear.
“What the fuck was that?” Connor turned to the conductor, who was still looking straight ahead. “What the hell was all that about?”
“So you understand.” The conductor’s voice was as calm as it has been before.
“I understand that you tried to torture him with destruction!” Connor hated the conductor, hated how calm they were. “And you don’t even have the decency to look at me?” Connor strode forward and reached out his hand to grab the cloak. There was a hissing noise, and Connor was sent flying back by an invisible force, crashing into the back of the train car.
“And you changed it into love.” Even from across the train, the conductor’s voice, still even and steady, was right in his ear.
Connor got to his feet slowly. The buzz in his body was gone by now, it never stayed around for too long, but Connor knew that’s exactly what the conductor was referring to.
“I had to.” No use trying to deny it. “I couldn’t give him that in that… place. He deserved something happy.” Connor collapsed on the back seat, figuring the conductor could hear him just as well as his voice carried to Connor’s ears. “Listen man-girl-person-god-whatever, I get it. I’m stuck on here until you’re done with me. So please, just tell me what that was. That place. This fog. This train. What is it all?”
The conductor was quiet for a moment. “Limbo.” They eventually replied.
Connor knew, deep down, that’s what this was before the conductor said it. He remembered Tommy and Wilbur’s disjointed stories that tumbled out of their mouths at dangerously late hours of the night, whispers of darkness and horror and deep pain and tinny music and sterile rooms that became their worlds. Limbo.
“Why?” was all Connor could think to ask.
“Because you stepped onto this train. And there is reason for all that happens, even to the person who is nobody.”
Connor walked back up to the front of the train and took his seat. The silence was deep and loud between them, as the tracks Connor assumed existed below them rattled with the wheels.
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b-hell-splashed · 3 years
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