#among us inspired this post and i have no regrets | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shiorinotshiori · 2 years

Text

You looked so good in green (Eddie Munson x F!Reader)

Eddie can't help but reminisce the moments you were his. You were only a Sophomore when you met Eddie, you were a freak just like him. But during Junior year, you figured that you wanted a change. Senior year eventually came and that change you had hoped to not affect your relationship, comes back at you when Eddie's insecurities got the best of him.

A fic inspired by the song "Green" by Cavetown

Part 2: Finally Home Req Ending: YCSMNNLYDB

Warnings: ANGST, slight bullying, drugs, mentions of making out???SADFGAHDDD Notes: Bold for lyrics of the song (not in order) Italics for memories / flashbacks Normal font for the present time ' ' means it is the characters' inside thoughts Word count: 5.7k

Things to remember: Eddie's only a year older than reader btwww. I have so many wip fics but this is actually the first one I finished (also my first fic post) shdbhasj sorry for wrong grammars/spellings and if it's a bit confusing and boring but let me know what I can do better!

I don't give permission to repost or translate my work please have mercy

A big fish swims past your rod You can't catch it, it's far too fast It’s been months, months full of regret and guilt for Eddie Munson. It’s been months since he decided to end things with you, because of some stupid shit your supposedly ‘friends’ told him. Not a day goes by that Eddie didn’t think of how you were before you became this big fish he now couldn’t catch. Your relationship was perfect, at least that’s how Eddie wanted to see it until his insecurities got the best of him. He had always known that you deserved better and frankly, up until now, he has no idea how he landed a chance with you to begin with. There had been a lot of times that he couldn’t help but to reminisce some of his favorite moments with you- there were a lot, to be honest. But one of his favorites were the time he first officially met you. It was the day his life begun.

Take care of my shirt Warm and red

It was a normal day in Hawkins, by normal, that meant everything sucks for a loser like (Y/N)- especially when you’re a new student. You have no friends, no place you belong to; unless you’re one of the girls that the popular jocks would automatically try to sleep with. It was Sophomore year when you had no idea how to dress or at least fit in anyone’s standard. You were alone, trying to see among the crowd in the canteen who’s most likely to let you sit with them but, you didn’t think someone will do that for a girl like you. In Hawkins High, it was up to you to decide your social status- if you choose to hang out with the nerds, you’ll be a freak. Join cheerleading? Oh, it’s for sure that they’ll only tolerate their own kind.

“Being new sucks.” You whispered to yourself, standing in the middle of the cafeteria after getting the food provided by the school. You looked like a lost child, wondering where to go while your parents’ not around. Just as you were about to take a step, a body collided with yours. Next thing you knew, your clothes were full with whatever the food was that they served. “Watch where you’re going, freak!” A guy with blonde hair told you, eyeing you up and down. As he walked away, you immediately felt like crying. It’s always been like this for you, even before moving to Hawkins. You had hoped that maybe, just maybe, people were a little bit nicer than where you used to go. But boy, you were so wrong.

You realized that the food’s gonna probably stain your clothes, so instead of going to class- you decided it was better to skip. Who would want to walk in class like that? Not you. Deciding to just throw the food on your tray, you ran towards the exit. You ran and ran and ran until you find yourself lost in the woods.

Thankfully, you did find a bench. Unfortunately, someone was sitting on the desk. A guy with brown curly hair, leather jacket, and somewhat a… club shirt? It says Hellfire club. “You ‘kay?” only then you realized you were kind of staring at him as he smoked. Lost in thoughts. “Uhm… yeah yeah. Just got a little lost.” You forced yourself to let out a chuckle but, you’re still a little bit upset about your shirt. “Well… your shirt’s not.”

“Wow… thanks, I didn’t notice.” You rolled your eyes at the guy, ‘as if I didn’t know’ you continue to stare at the ground- thinking how great it was that you just ran into another student who’ll probably make fun of you too. Unbeknownst to you, the guy who rudely commented on your shirt, started taking off his own. “Here, you look like you need a new one.” Slightly looking up, you saw the guy’s hand offering you the shirt he was just wearing- “Wait! Are you naked right now? Holy shit.” You refused to fully look up, thinking that he’s maybe… topless. You didn’t want to be caught staring again.

“What? No! I have an extra one in our club room. I’ll just go get that, I have my jacket anyway.”

“Then why just not hand me that one? You’re really gonna walk naked in school?!”

“Like I said- I have my jacket, sweetheart. Also, I figured you didn’t want to walk around looking like… that. I’m used to the weird stares, a’ight? Just take it.”

Finally looking up, you saw that he pulled his jacket’s zipper all the way up to cover himself. ‘Oh but how am I gonna get dres-‘ your thoughts were soon interrupted. “Look, if you’re worried about me peeking while you change- I’ll just go ahead and walk away. You’ll have this spot all to yourrrself. No one ever comes out here, you’re safe.” He began to walk but then you remembered you haven’t even thanked him yet. “Wait! Uhm… Thank you-?”

“It’s Eddie… Munson. And noooo problem.” It was the first time, the first time you had seen him smile. Yep, he’s kinda attractive, you couldn’t deny that to yourself plus he’s nice. Before you could even reply, you were alone in the woods.

Tomorrow came and you clutched the newly washed club shirt as you walk into the cafeteria once again. Looking for a mop of brown hair- ‘Oh, there he is.’ You approached what seemed like the Hellfire club, you were not that stupid to not notice they were all wearing the same shirt. Eddie was busy making some kind of dramatic narration when he got cut off. “Hey uh… Eddie?”

Slightly getting annoyed because someone interrupted his usual act, he looked up to see the same girl from yesterday. And just like that, his annoyance was gone. “Oh, hey. What’s up?”

“Uhm, sorry did I interrupt you? Sorry, I just wanted to give you your shirt back.” Now feeling the stares of the other members, you started to feel small. ‘Shit.’

“No, Nope. No need. You can have that, because as you can see, sweetheart- I’m already wearing the same one. You can uh… also, sit with us if you’d like.” At this point, Eddie was really pushing his chances there. It wasn’t like he only noticed you yesterday, he had been eyeing you since school started again- and he also noticed you had no friends, yet (sounds so awful but it was true). A lot of times he did want to offer you to sit with them, it’s just that he had never asked a girl to hangout with them. Having this thought that even though you were alone, most of the time- he figured that maybe you’d still not want to settle with nerds like them. But this was the chance, he couldn’t just let go of it. “Really? O-okay. I’m (Y/N), by the way.” And just like that you finally had a place you belonged to. Especially when Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, as well as the other members of the club never made you feel the opposite. At first, you had no clue what’s the club about- hell, you didn’t even know Dungeons and Dragons existed before meeting them. But as time flies, you finally learned how to play the complicated game and you got yourself a wonderful group of friends. It was also that day that you and Eddie started getting closer and closer until you became his favorite player.

He was so glad that it was his shirt that you wore the day someone spilled their food on you. He was glad that the opportunity to talk to you presented itself to him. He was glad that you accepted his offer. He was glad he got closer to you. He was glad the day came when you became his.

I see your eyes in the flowers I'll pick a bunch for your room Green and blue to match your pictures

Another one of his favorite memory was when he used to give you a bunch of flowers that came from another resident in the trailer park. Up until now the old lady had no idea that Eddie’s been ‘borrowing’ her flowers before. Poor lady was confused to wake up to her dear flowers not as many as before. Eddie surely missed picking them in the middle of the night, when he’s sure that his neighbor’s not awake.

It’s safe to say that Eddie’s rebellious but, he took that up to the next level whenever he has to ‘borrow’ a sweet old lady’s flowers in the trailer park- just so he could give them to you. Not that he would let you know where he picked them.

You were focused studying your lesson when you heard light taps in your window. ‘Must be Eddie’ you thought, it became quite the routine for him to sneak in your room at night- even though your parents were well aware of your relationship with the guy. He once told you that it just felt right sneaking in, living up to his ‘bad boy’ name. You went and let him in thru your window, you saw the man struggling to step in since it was obvious he’s trying to hide something from you- holding whatever it is behind his back.

“Good evening, fair maiden. I, Eddie the Banished, brought you- a gift.” As he said that, he proceeds to give you a bunch of, what it seems like hand-picked flowers. Your heart warmed at the thought, Eddie’s been always sweet but, no matter how many times he did something to make you feel giddy- it will ALWAYS make you feel giddy. “Why thank you, kind sir. To what do I owe this… wonderful gift?” slowly taking the flowers from Eddie who’s bowing with his arm extended and holding the flowers. He’s just dramatic like that, which you love so much.

“Nothing, just wanted to give you something that reminds me of you. You know- green and blue flowers to uhm… match your pictures in your room. I know you’ve always loved trees and the ocean.” There it was, that cute smile you’ll never get tired of. Carefully placing the flowers in an empty vase, you made your way towards Eddie to give him a gift in return. A sweet kiss from a fair maiden.

You lifted a hand and placed them against Eddie’s cheek, leaned in and kissed his lips. It was a quick and tender kiss, just to let your man know how much you appreciate the little things he does. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“Well… I think evidence is lacking, princess. I need more of that kiss.” Let’s just say that you couldn’t continue studying after what Eddie said.

I miss your perfect teeth I was too blunt

He couldn’t help but remember the sweet silly little moments, or that time you told him that his teeth looked cute.

“I’m so jealous of your teeth Eddieeeeee.” That was the first thing you said to him after having a full-blown make out session. You were in his bed, sitting on his lap while having your nail pressed against his tooth. You and Eddie had just finished smoking joint when you both felt like you were not close enough to each other, thus, starting a battle with your tongues.

“Whaaaat? What do you mean, princess? You have the most perfect teeth I’ve seen, trust me.”

“No way Eds, I doubt that. Yours are- uhm… cuter.” You giggled, ‘cuter teeth? Really (Y/N)?’ you thought. Imagine someone telling you that your teeth look cute, weird compliment but it was just like you and Eddie. You liked being weird together, it’s what makes your relationship a thousand times better than everyone else’s.

“Ah, so you’re calling me a liar (Y/N)? hmm?” Eddie tightened his hold on your waist. His back that was resting against the head of his bed, now gone as he started leaning towards you. Almost as if suggesting a war between your tongues to begin again. Which you gladly accepted.

Staring deep in his brown eyes before closing your own, you snaked your hands in his curls, slightly tugging on them while his tongue is moving with yours- yours and Eddie’s lips firmly pressed against each other. You knew Eddie liked it whenever you go rough on his hair during these moments. The first time you did, it shocked him. He was not aware before that he was into that kind of shit but, ever since then, he kept his hair long so you have more of his hair to play with.

You looked so good in green

But his most favorite memory, was the first time he got to you see you in your own element. Eddie will never forget how beautiful you looked that day, not that you were ever ugly, it’s just different seeing you shine for everyone. It was the moment he realized you’re the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

People were not used to seeing THE Eddie Munson in one of Hawkins’ balls in laundry basket games. But now there he was, he would’ve never even thought of going in to one if it wasn’t for you. He knew that this is the first game you’ll be participating in and seeing you so excited, he decided to go even after you told him he didn’t need to. You were well aware that Eddie and the rest of Hawkins High don’t get along so you didn’t want to push him to go, but you gotta admit- you wanted him there. You wanted him to see you shine in front of the whole school for the first time, especially after you started with a rocky reputation. You transferred to Hawkins High during Sophomore year, when you met Eddie. But then Junior year came, you thought you’ve had enough of being a loser. It didn’t have anything to do with the Hellfire club, you reassured Eddie that but- you wanted a change for yourself.

You wanted to stop being the weak (Y/N) everyone knew during Sophomore. You knew you had your talents and you also knew you were great at what you do; so, you decided to try out for cheerleading when you heard one of them quit. They were one member short, routines were hard to change when everyone else in the group already have their own positions. At first, the cheerleaders were hesitant to let you in, knowing you were once the girl they used to ‘bully’. But out of all who attended their tryout, you were the only one who can keep up with them- they were in desperate need.

Along with being accepted, your style also changed. You started minding how you looked, you started to care unlike before. Eddie’s thankful that that’s the only thing you changed about you, your personality never did. The way you treated Hellfire was the same. As much as your new ‘friends’ hated seeing one of their cheerleaders sit with the freaks, they couldn’t do anything to separate you with Eddie. Jocks also started to notice the change in your appearance, guys who used to ignore you, started hitting on you. Eddie hated seeing that but he was too proud of you, and your constant reassurance keeps his insecurities away for a while.

And now, he realized how much you deserved the recognition. The attention you grabbed, he hated and loved it at the same time. He truly believes that you were meant to be in this kind of crowd.

Eddie went in and sat in the front row, nevermind the disgusted stares he was getting- he was there to watch his girl. His big brown eyes sparkling while he watched you cheer your soul away.

The dance ended, oblivious of the fact that your boyfriend’s sitting among the crowd. He saw you jump around and celebrate with your teammates of how well it went. Your jump went into a halt, finally meeting Eddie’s eyes. You wasted no time as you ran towards him, him sitting up and welcoming you into his arms. It’s one of those cliché moments where a guy spins you around while embracing you. “You’re here!” you squealed on the crook of Eddie’s neck, still with your arms wrapped on the same spot. “Course I am. Can’t miss your important day now, can I?” You smiled, the thought of Eddie going to an event he hated with his whole heart, just to see you- makes you wanna marry the man right then and there. “Oh and one more thing-“ Eddie started, retreating from your embrace and gently lifting your chin with his hand; referring to Hawkins High’s cheer uniform, he said “You look so good in green, sweetheart.”

You looked so good in green I hope you're well And you look so good with him And I'm proud of you still

School was ending soon, Eddie couldn’t miss out the last moments you shine- though for him, you always did. The gym is packed, as usual, students are so hyped up for the same event he loathed. He waited until people filled the seats, spotting an unoccupied one in the darkest corner at the top. He doesn’t want you to know but, even after your break up- he still went in every single game just to see you again. Thankfully for Eddie, your vision was not the best; it’s not like you can wear glasses while cheering and you hated wearing contacts. You refuse to wear them since it makes you uncomfortable and your eyes were not THAT bad, it’s just that you won’t be able to see people from far distance especially those who sit in the darkest areas. ‘She still looks good in green’ Eddie told himself, as much as he hates the uniform and the people wearing it, you are an exemption. He always admired you, used to tell you how it fits you perfectly.

Another successful routine, like the other times before, you were jumping and celebrating again. Only this time, Eddie wasn’t prepared for the sight he was about to see. As you were enjoying the time, a guy approached you. One of the basketball players who’s gonna play later, went in and hugged you. Much to Eddie’s disappointment, you hugged the guy back as Eddie was forced to witness the whole exchange between his ex and a jock. Never ending thoughts are running inside his head, thoughts he didn’t want to come back right after regretting what he did. ‘You look so good with him’ he admitted to only himself, almost accepting the fact that maybe you now found someone better than him. He couldn’t help but think that this was his own doing, you’re now with someone because he let you go. No matter how many times he wishes, that he’s the one you should be hugging, he only has himself to blame.

He couldn’t take it anymore, he went to exit the gym, stopping once he reached the doors- looking back at you for the last time “I’m proud of you still.” He whispered to no one.

Little did Eddie know, you just hugged the guy back because, to be honest, he was the only tolerable player you knew. The guy’s been nice to you without any hidden intention, you became close with him but, it’s always gonna end there. You’re not gonna fall for someone, no. Not when Eddie’s still the one in your heart.

Mess in the kitchen I was so disappointed I guess I got to my head

After exiting the gym, he went straight to Hellfire’s club room. Entering, he sees the other members waiting for him, to start the session he had forgotten. But now, he’s really not in the mood to DM anymore, not after what he saw. He just couldn’t find the energy to continue with the day. “Hellfire’s cancelled today.” He didn’t even wait to hear the members complains. Right after cancelling on them, like it wasn’t a big deal, he walked out.

“Dude… Eddie never cancels Hellfire. Something must be so wrong.” Dustin’s voice was the only thing he heard before he was out of earshot. ‘Yes, a lot of things are so wrong right now. Including me.’ He went home feeling defeated. Eddie never got mad, he was not the type. Sure, he threw tantrums every once in a while, but this was different. Eddie’s not that kind of person to throw stuff everywhere, at least not until now. It was all a blur, now that Eddie’s sitting on the couch with his head hung low, he looks over the kitchen. Broken plates, shattered in pieces everywhere. This was a first for him, he’s not a very fortunate kid, he knows that breaking things will only cost him a fortune- but it was too late. The mess in the kitchen is a very big evidence of that.

I get it now that it's too late I never stopped feeling guilty

Upon seeing the mess, another memory came- only this time, it wasn’t that type of memory he wanted to remember. Eddie wanted to erase it in his mind, forget the day he made the biggest mistake of his life. He just wants to go back to the days you were his and he was yours. Guilt will always consume him. It had dawned to him how selfish he was. If only he could turn back time, but it was too late.

As much as Eddie hated being near a party, he had no choice but to go into this specific one because a jock offered him a great deal. A great deal? Yeah right. If he had known that time that this very same party will cost him his ‘perfect’ relationship, he would’ve just ignored the insane amount of money the popular kids had offered him for drugs. It was a big party which means they needed as many drugs as possible, almost everyone was present; except the outcasts and you. You were invited but you went straight home after cheering in the championship game, because it was your mother’s birthday and you couldn’t afford to miss out the party happening at your own house. After handing out drugs, Eddie went to turn away and drive to your house because he promised he would be there after his drug deal. Except, that didn’t happen. As Eddie was turning away, a voice called him. “Hey! Munson.” He looked at the source of the voice, only to notice it didn’t belong to an individual alone. He looked at the group, both eyebrows raised, wrinkling his own forehead.

“What?” Eddie questioned, wondering what the two girls accompanied with Jason Carver, want. He had no drugs left since they bought all of his remaining products. “You’re still with (Y/N), right?” one of the girls he didn’t even know, asked. Eddie just assumed that you might have hung out with the girl before, considering she was wearing Hawkin’s cheer uniform. “Yeah.” He simply replied, not wanting to start an issue if ever he had thrown a snarky remark. All he wanted to do was to drive away and finally spend his time with you, since you’ve been busy with practicing routines and all. “You know, I still have no idea why (Y/N)’s still with you. I mean yeah, we get it. She was a total freak like you before. But good for her for wanting a different crowd. She’s too pretty to be spending all of her time with you losers in your- Hellflyer club.” The girl said crossing her arms.

“It’s Hellfire.” Eddie scoffed, finally deciding that whatever this conversation was, was only wasting his time. He turned away AGAIN, walking towards his van. “Don’t you think she deserves better?” Now, that made Eddie stop. The phrase ‘she deserves better’ had always made him feel something; something he wasn’t supposed to be feeling when all you’ve shown him contradicts with the negative thoughts. But now, now that you were not around to tell him the opposite, he didn’t know what todo but to listen to their shitty comments about your relationship. “Come on, Eddie. Don’t tell us you’ve actually never thought of it? She joined cheerleading to get away from you freaks.” The other girl just spoke. Eddie knew that it wasn’t true, you didn’t join the cheerleaders just to avoid him and the Hellfire, he had known since the beginning of your relationship that it had always been your dream to become one- not to be one of the popular kids but to show people your amazing skills; thus, they accepted you in to their team (even after being labeled a freak), because they couldn’t deny that they needed your talent. He also knew how important him and his friends were to you but at that moment, he couldn’t stop the lingering thought that maybe you were tired of being an outcast.

The last straw was Jason, of course it was Jason. Eddie knew it was the end for him when the jock said the things he was dreading to hear, “You’re only gonna bring her down with you, Munson. She deserves a different life. A life that doesn’t involve a drug dealer who repeated Highschool.” He thought Jason’s done, but no. What he said next decided Eddie’s supposed to be own decision about you. “When we graduate, (Y/N)’s gonna have to move forward, and where does that leave you? You’re just always gonna hold her back. Think about it.” Right then and there, Eddie hated himself. He hated himself for letting people like Jason, add more fuel to the fire that Eddie’s been trying to distinguish for a long time. He hated himself because he knew that he’s emotionally dependent on you, you take away his usual nonchalant behavior with you- now, that you aren’t there to tell him you needed him no matter what, Eddie had finally let the fire consume him whole. With his back still turned from the group, Eddie got up to his van and went straight home. He knew he couldn’t face you after convincing himself that you were better off without him. It was the morning after, he barely got any sleep when he woke up to the sound of loud banging on the trailer’s door. “Edward! I swear to god, wake the fuck up and open this door right now!” hearing his girlfriend’s angry voice, he groaned- not because of annoyance, but because this was the day.

He opened the door where he was greeted with her frown. He hated seeing her frown but, today’s not the day he’ll be helping to turn it upside down. Or maybe it’s gonna be, when he finally lets her go. ‘Maybe she’ll be happier and better without me’, he thought.

“Where the fuck were you? You said you’d be there yesterday, I even told my mother.” Oh right, the party. He couldn’t say anything, still consumed with those stupid words from stupid people; so he just went to the couch and sat down. Your eyes followed him, “You kept me waiting, Eddie. You know how much I hate that.” That should’ve been his sign, his sign of how much you loved him to the point where you’d get upset over this. But instead, he thought the opposite.

Running both of his hands on his face, “(Y/N) I-“ he started, immediately stopping when he felt the lump in his throat. “You’re gonna explain yourself or what?” you didn’t wanna be rude but you were upset and you thought you deserved an explanation. Oblivious to the fact that your boyfriend’s almost as upset as you, maybe even more. But how could you notice? When he couldn’t even look at you.

“Eddie!” (Y/N)’s voice startled him. Only then he realized that he hasn’t uttered even a single sentence to her. “Eddie, please just say something. I’m sorry for yelling and being rude to you okay? I-“ maybe that’s the purest thing about her, even when it was other people’s fault for upsetting her, she just couldn’t hold anger. “I- I think we should break up.” Eddie cut her off. Letting out a humorless laugh, “What?” “We should break up. I’ve been thinking about it.” He tried his best to not let his voice crack. “Wha- why?! Is this about cheerleading? Because I can quit for you Eddie. It’s not a big de-“

“It’s not about that okay? It’s- it’s more than that”

“Then tell me Eddie! What is it? I’m su-sure we can do something about it.” Except, there was nothing you could do. He made up his mind and he’s too blinded to see how much you wanted this conversation to be over. How much you wanted to just crawl on his bed and cuddle with him.

“I just think I’m gonna hold you back, sweetheart. It’s obvious that you’re graduating, and I’m not. Jesus Christ! I can’t even get a B on Mrs. Click’s class.”

“And so what? I told you Eddie, I’ll wait for you. I’ll stop for a year, help you pass your classes before going to college… so we coul leave this hell together. I already have everything planned I-“

“But that’s what’s wrong (Y/N)! I can’t have you delaying your studies just because I didn’t make an effort in mine.”

“Fuck Eddie! I don’t care! We had this plan- we’ll leave Hawkins, I go to college, you go build up your career with Corroded Coffin! See? It’s that easy.“ This conversation was stressing you the fuck out. You couldn’t stop the tears at this point. You thought you and Eddie had it settled down. You knew he didn’t want to continue with college, considering he got held back in Highschool. Eddie decided with his bandmates that they’ll try to build the Corroded Coffin’s reputation in another state, knowing that those five drunks will get them nowhere.

“After that, then what? I’m just a drug dealer with a band, (Y/N). I’m just a freak and you- you deserve better than me.”

“But-“ you managed to choke out but, after a word, you had a hard time finding your voice again by how much you were crying. “(Y/N)… I’ve already decided, sweetheart. I’m sorry…” Eddie stood up from where he was sitting, seeing you crying, he couldn’t help himself. You had both of your hands covering your face when you felt arms wrapped around you. “I’m sorry, mmkay? But you’ll be fine without me, baby.” He softly whispered. It felt so unfair, it was not up for him to decide if you deserved better. You were the only one who can tell that. But hearing Eddie so sure about it, you now knew that he was beyond saving from the insecurities that corrupted his mind. ‘Maybe if I showed him more, how much I loved him, he wouldn’t have thought about this.’

You retreated your arms and wrapped them around Eddie’s torso. “You’re so unfair, Eddie.” You were now full on sobbing on his shirt, not that Eddie minded. As long as he gets to hold onto you like this for the last time, there’s a whole closet full of his shirt he’d be willing to drench just so you could cry on it.

Both you and Eddie savoured the moment. Just feeling each other’s warmth like you used to. You sure as hell gonna miss moments like these with Eddie, minus of course, the breaking up part. Finally accepting the end of your amazing relationship, you managed to ask him a bold request, knowing that this will be the last chance you’d get. “Eddie?”

“Hmm?” He hummed a response, still with his arms wrapped around your neck. “Can I- can I at least get a goodbye kiss?” you felt him went stiff for a moment, thinking maybe you were pushing your chances to far considering that he literally just broke up with you. But your worries soon deflated when he agreed. “Of course.”

Unwrapping himself, little curls of his hair getting momentarily stuck in yours. You were now face to face with Eddie, also noticing how wet his puppy eyes were. Oh god, how much you’re gonna miss every single part of this man will hurt. They’d always been your favorite feature of his, and soon you won’t get to stare at them for as long as you want. Eddie gently raised both of his hands to touch each side of your cheeks, breathing heavily in doing so. ‘Make every moment count, Eddie. You won’t be kissing those lips anymore’- he had thought. You close your eyes waiting for his lips to just touch yours, and then it happened. Eddie leaned in and your lips touched, it was that kind of kiss that you knew you were saying goodbye to the love of your life. Both of you felt it, it was aggressive in a way that it was also gentle. The kiss was giving you false hopes, hoping that Eddie will realize you needed him as much as he needed you.

But then it ended. He retreated and rested his forehead against yours while his eyes were still closed, breathing in your scent so he could remember having you this close when it’s gone. When you’re gone. “I love you, Eddie. Fuck, I love you so much.” Upon hearing that, he took a deep breath and- “I love you too (Y/N) but… this is for you.”

He was already regretting his own decision but- they were probably right, he thought.

I hope you love yourself Your body and heart I hope you feel happy That's all I want Eddie knows he has no other choice but to think of those memories, he couldn't turn back time. He couldn't get back to you, knowing that your fate with him will still remain the same. Now, he just hopes and pray that you'll continue loving yourself even after he made you feel like it was somewhat your fault why he broke up with you. He hopes that whatever it is in it for you after Highschool, you'll be happy living your life in college. With him, he thinks that he needs to focus on building up his dream. He will not be able to give you a luxurious life, like the one your parents gave you. He’s just a drug dealer in a band with no certain future; maybe Corroded Coffin will fail, or maybe their talent will get its recognition someday, who knows? But until then, he’s letting you go.

AN: OKAY! I'm actually thinking of making a part 2. To whoever gets to read this pls give me any comments, I'll gladly take anything since this is my first time writing SGAHDFHG. Hope you like it!

p.s. I just find it funny how the first fic I posted is literally an angst SHASDHJ considering I hate angsts w no fluff ending.

218 notes · View notes

fitpacs · 13 days

Note

Everyone is sending love so I thought I’d show my appreciation! Your writing is amazing and it’s honestly a lifesaver (for me lol).

You’re never “clogging up” the ao3 tag! I get excited when I see that you’ve posted something new and I always know I’ll have something to look forward to. Within the community you’re an inspiration for many people wanting to write fics and a hot topic of discussion among those of us that read! :)

We will be here for as long as you are <3

- qsmpficsarchive (it wouldn’t let me send it as that account lol)

@qsmpficsarchive my beloved!

my writing is a lifesaver? that’s genuinely an honour dude :’)

also WHAT DO YOU MEAN A HOT TOPIC OF DISCUSSION AMONGST THOSE OF US THAT READ? please please elaborate on that omg

i adore this community, trust me when i say it’s a huge huge regret that i didn’t join qsmpblr sooner as i missed out on like nine months of this cosy community and i’ll be here as long as you’ll have me <3

#remember #also please start the mod notes again on your fic recs #i loved reading them and knowing what you thought!

6 notes · View notes

iphigeniacomplex · 2 months

Text

লিখি লোৱা, মই এজন মিঞা ("Write Down 'I am a Miyah'", 2016) by Hafiz Ahmed, translated from Assamese to English by Shalim M. Hussain, began a movement of resistance poetry among Assamese Muslims of Bengali descent, referred to as Miya Poetry after a slur used to describe this community. From Abdul Kalam Azad, for Indian Express ("Write...I am a Miya", 2019):

This poem went viral and other young poets started responding to him through poems. The young poets also started reclaiming “Miya”, a slur used against us, as our identity with pride. This chain of Facebook posts continued for days, reiterating the violence, suffering and humiliation expressed by our community. As time passed, more poets wrote in various languages and dialects, including many Miya dialects. The nomenclature ‘Miya Poetry’ got generated organically but the poets and their associates have been inspired by the Negritude and Black Arts movements, and queer, feminist and Dalit literary movements, where the oppressed have reclaimed the identity which was used to dehumanise them. The trend transcended our community. Poets from the mainstream Assamese community also wrote several poems in solidarity with the Miya poets while some regretted not being poets. Gradually, this became a full-fledged poetry movement and got recognised by other poets, critics and commentators. The quality and soul of these poems are so universal that they started finding prominence on reputed platforms. For the first time in the history of our community, we had started telling our own stories and reclaiming the Miya identity to fight against our harassers who were dehumanising us with the same word. They accused us of portraying the whole Assamese society as xenophobic. The fact is we have just analysed our conditions. Forget generalising the Assamese society as ‘xenophobic’, no Miya poet has ever used the term ‘xenophobic’ nor any of its variants. The guilt complex of our accusers is so profound that they don’t have the patience to examine why we wrote the poems.

Amrita Singh, writing for The Caravan ("Assam Against Itself", 2019), detailed the political backlash against Miya Poetry, in particular the above poem.

On 10 July this year, Pranabjit Doloi, an Assam-based journalist, filed a complaint at Guwahati’s Panbazar police station accusing ten people of indulging in criminal activities “to defame the Assamese people as Xenophobic in the world.” Doloi claimed that the ten people were trying to hinder the ongoing updation of the National Register of Citizens, a list of Assam’s Indian citizens that is due to be published on 31 August. The premise of Doloi’s complaint was a widely-circulated poem called, “Write down I am Miya,” by Hafiz Ahmed, a school teacher and social activist. “Write. Write down I am a Miya/ A citizen of democratic secular republic without any rights,” Ahmed wrote. The police registered a first information report against Doloi’s complaint, booking all ten persons for promoting enmity between groups, among other offences. [...] At the press conference, Mander emphasised that people in Assam are in distress because of the NRC’s arbitrary and rigid procedures. “One spelling mistake when you are writing a Bengali name in English … that is enough for you to be in a detention center, declared a foreigner,” Mander said. “If you are not allowing this lament to come out in the form of poetry, then where is this republic of India going?”

Ahmed's poem is influenced in structure by "Identity Card", a 1964 poem by by Palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish which uses the symbolic figure of the Palestinian working man to confront Israeli occupiers. Darwish's identity card, a symbol of Israeli subjugation transformed into a cry of Palestinian national identity, is reshaped by Ahmed into the National Register of Citizens for Assam and the accompanying fear of statelessness and disenfranchisement for the Miya people.

This solidarity between writers from oppressed groups is, of course, not one that ends with Darwish and Ahmed, nor with the Black, queer, feminist, and Dalit influences of Miya Poetry. As long as there is oppression, there will be companionship and recognition reflected in art and activism. On December 13, 2023, Black Agenda Report reprinted Refaat Alareer's "If I Must Die", acknowledging the connection between Alareer's poem and "If We Must Die" by Claude McKay, written in 1919 in response to the Red Summer white supremacist riots. In 2000, Haitian community activist Dahoud Andre translated "If We Must Die" into Kreyòl, and the Black Agenda Report editorial honors Alareer in a similar way, reprinting "If I Must Die" with an accompanying Kreyòl translation. (POEM: If I Must Die, Refaat Alareer, 2023.)

Transcripts under the cut.

[Hafiz Ahmed Transcripts (Assamese and English):

লিখি লোৱা, মই এজন মিঞা

লিখা, লিখি লোৱা মই এজন মিঞা এন. আৰ. চিৰ ক্রমিক নং ২০০৫৪৩ দুজন সন্তানৰ বাপেক মই, অহাবাৰ গ্ৰীষ্মত জন্ম ল’ব আৰু এজনে তাকো তুমি ঘিণ কৰিবা নেকি যিদৰে ঘিণ কৰা মোক?

লিখি লোৱা, মই এজন মিঞা পতিত ভূমি, পিতনিক মই ৰূপান্তৰিত কৰিছোঁ শস্য-শ্যামলা সেউজী পথাৰলৈ তোমাক খুৱাবলৈ মই ইটা কঢ়িয়াইছোঁ তোমাৰ অট্টালিকা সাজিবলৈ, তোমাৰ গাড়ী চলাইছোঁ তোমাক আৰাম দিবলৈ, তোমাৰ নৰ্দমা ছাফা কৰিছোঁ তোমাক নিৰোগী কৰি ৰাখিবলৈ, তোমাৰে সেৱাতে মগন মই অনবৰত তাৰ পিছতো কিয় তুমি খৰ্গহস্ত? লিখা, লিখি লোৱা মই এজন মিঞা গণতান্ত্ৰিক, গণৰাজ্য এখনৰ নাগৰিক এজন যাৰ কোনো অধিকাৰ নাইকিয়া মাতৃক মোৰ সজোৱা হৈছে সন্দেহযুক্ত ভোটাৰ যদিও পিতৃ-মাতৃ তাইৰ নিঃসন্দেহে ভাৰতীয়

ইচ্ছা কৰিলেই তুমি মোক হত্যা কৰিব পাৰা, জ্বলাই দিব পৰা মোৰ খেৰৰ পঁজা, খেদি দিব পাৰা মোক মোৰেই গাঁৱৰ পৰা, কাঢ়ি নিব পাৰা মোৰ সেউজী পথাৰ মোৰ বুকুৰ ওপৰেৰে চলাব পাৰা তোমাৰ বুলড্‌জাৰ তোমাৰ বুলেটে বুকুখন মোৰ কৰিব পাৰে থকাসৰকা (তোমাৰ এই কাৰ্যৰ বাবে তুমি কোনো স্তিও নোপোৱা) যুগ-যুগান্তৰ তোমাৰ অত্যাচাৰ সহ্য কৰি ব্ৰহ্মপুত্ৰৰ চৰত বাস কৰা মই এজন মিঞা মোৰ দেহা হৈ পৰিছে নিগ্ৰো কলা মোৰ চকুযুৰি অঙঠাৰ দৰে ৰঙা সাৱধান! মোৰ দুচকুত জমা হৈ আছে যুগ যুগান্তৰৰ বঞ্চনাৰ বাৰুদ আঁতৰি যোৱা, নতুবা অচিৰেই পৰিণত হ’বা মূল্যহীন ছাইত!

Write Down ‘I am a Miyah’ Hafiz Ahmed, 2016 trans. Shalim M. Hussain

Write Write Down I am a Miya My serial number in the NRC is 200543 I have two children Another is coming Next summer. Will you hate him As you hate me?

write I am a Miya I turn waste, marshy lands To green paddy fields To feed you. I carry bricks To build your buildings Drive your car For your comfort Clean your drain To keep you healthy. I have always been In your service And yet you are dissatisfied! Write down I am a Miya, A citizen of a democratic, secular, Republic Without any rights My mother a D voter, Though her parents are Indian.

If you wish kill me, drive me from my village, Snatch my green fields hire bulldozers To roll over me. Your bullets Can shatter my breast for no crime.

Write I am a Miya Of the Brahamaputra Your torture Has burnt my body black Reddened my eyes with fire. Beware! I have nothing but anger in stock. Keep away! Or Turn to Ashes.

]

[Mahmoud Darwish Transcripts (Arabic and English):

سجِّل أنا عربي ورقمُ بطاقتي خمسونَ ألفْ وأطفالي ثمانيةٌ وتاسعهُم.. سيأتي بعدَ صيفْ! فهلْ تغضبْ؟ سجِّلْ أنا عربي وأعملُ مع رفاقِ الكدحِ في محجرْ وأطفالي ثمانيةٌ أسلُّ لهمْ رغيفَ الخبزِ، والأثوابَ والدفترْ من الصخرِ ولا أتوسَّلُ الصدقاتِ من بابِكْ ولا أصغرْ أمامَ بلاطِ أعتابكْ فهل تغضب؟ سجل أنا عربي أنا اسم بلا لقبِ صَبورٌ في بلادٍ كلُّ ما فيها يعيشُ بفَوْرةِ الغضبِ جذوري قبلَ ميلادِ الزمانِ رستْ وقبلَ تفتّحِ الحقبِ وقبلَ السّروِ والزيتونِ .. وقبلَ ترعرعِ العشبِ أبي.. من أسرةِ المحراثِ لا من سادةٍ نُجُبِ وجدّي كانَ فلاحاً بلا حسبٍ.. ولا نسبِ! يُعَلّمني شموخَ الشمسِ قبلَ قراءةِ الكتبِ وبيتي’ كوخُ ناطورٍ منَ الأعوادِ والقصبِ فهل تُرضيكَ منزلتي؟ أنا اسم بلا لقبِ! سجلْ أنا عربي ولونُ الشعرِ.. فحميٌّ ولونُ العينِ.. بنيٌّ وميزاتي: على رأسي عقالٌ فوقَ كوفيّه وكفّي صلبةٌ كالصخرِ... تخمشُ من يلامسَها وعنواني: أنا من قريةٍ عزلاءَ منسيّهْ شوارعُها بلا أسماء وكلُّ رجالها في الحقلِ والمحجرْ فهل تغضبْ؟ سجِّل! أنا عربي سلبتُ كرومَ أجدادي وأرضاً كنتُ أفلحُها أنا وجميعُ أولادي ولم تتركْ لنا.. ولكلِّ أحفادي سوى هذي الصخورِ... فهل ستأخذُها حكومتكمْ.. كما قيلا!؟ إذنْ سجِّل.. برأسِ الصفحةِ الأولى أنا لا أكرهُ الناسَ ولا أسطو على أحدٍ ولكنّي.. إذا ما جعتُ آكلُ لحمَ مغتصبي حذارِ.. حذارِ.. من جوعي ومن غضبي!!

Identity Card Mahmoud Darwish, 1964 trans. Denys Johnson-Davies

Put it on record. I am an Arab

And the number of my card is fifty thousand I have eight children And the ninth is due after summer. What's there to be angry about?

Put it on record. I am an Arab

Working with comrades of toil in a quarry. I have eight children For them I wrest the loaf of bread, The clothes and exercise books From the rocks And beg for no alms at your door, Lower not myself at your doorstep. What's there to be angry about?

Put it on record. I am an Arab.

I am a name without a title, Patient in a country where everything Lives in a whirlpool of anger. My roots Took hold before the birth of time Before the burgeoning of the ages, Before cypress and olive trees, Before the proliferation of weeds.

My father is from the family of the plough Not from highborn nobles.

And my grandfather was a peasant Without line or genealogy.

My house is a watchman's hut Made of sticks and reeds.

Does my status satisfy you? I am a name without a surname.

Put it on record. I am an Arab.

Color of hair: jet black. Color of eyes: brown. My distinguishing features: On my head the `iqal cords over a keffiyeh Scratching him who touches it.

My address: I'm from a village, remote, forgotten, Its streets without name And all its men in the fields and quarry. What's there to be angry about?

Put it on record. I am an Arab.

You stole my forefathers' vineyards And land I used to till, I and all my children, And you left us and all my grandchildren Nothing but these rocks. Will your government be taking them too As is being said?

So! Put it on record at the top of page one: I don't hate people, I trespass on no one's property.

And yet, if I were to become hungry I shall eat the flesh of my usurper. Beware, beware of my hunger And of my anger!

]

#it speaks!#re: the tag on my last reblogged post. decided to make that point its own post!#this is long obviously and im employing proper capitalization for ease of reading #obligatory im monolingual disclaimer & cant vouch for translation quality; i chose the johnson-davies translation because ->#<- it is the one i see most commonly spread. i take responsibility for any deficiencies.#going to use some tags because im personally interested in this poetic movement & connection & maybe other people will be too!#palestine #palestinian poetry #assam #miya poetry #political poetry #poetry

5 notes · View notes

sparring-spirals · 2 years

Note

What did you think of Orym's speech in the recent episode? I've seen some praise but I've also seen people call him self righteous

Mmm. I've got a number of feelings about it, some of which I'm still working through and kind of want to take a wait-and-see stance on. Let me see if I can break down my thoughts cleanly.

- Before anything else, I want to talk about the circumstances of this speech. The Bells are rattled. (Very much including Orym). One of their friends just, completely unexpectedly, even with all their openness with each other, tried to murder them. Threw deeply personal attacks at them. And they don't even have the space to process it, not properly. There's things they neeed to do. There's things they need to do.

- In that sense- I don't think it was meant to be an inspirational speech, per se, which is why as much as I like Orym, posts talking about it as inspiration, as uplifting, as "we are better than this!" don't quite hit the mark for me. This was not a "come together and battle our demons and be better for it!". This was not a "We are stronger together, we can each overcome our problems if we trust each other", build up hope and comaradery kind of speech.

- This was a "we all know we're fucked up, but there is bigger shit on the table, there are bigger fish to fry. i know we're all fucked up, but we don't really have the luxury of being fucked up right now". It was "we're all fucked up. we know that. but we can't afford it, right now. so what we need to do is promise to hold each other in line. we have to be willing to do what it takes to get these things done- even if the cost is yourself. or each other."

- 👀

- Orym said: "We have to be better together. Have to."

- And so with that in mind, saying it was self righteous also doesn't quite land for me. Was Orym, to an extent, distancing himself from the rest of them with bits of his vocab? Sure. Is the demand in this- lets call it a "to arms" speech, instead- questionable in some situations and absolutely influenced by Orym's own traumas and flaws and personal missions and regrets? 10000% and I'm also looking So Hard at you, Orym.

- But to me, the entire speech wasn't a dismissive or a patronizing "Be better", it was a desperate "Be better". It was a "For the mission, we need to be better, we need to make each other better. We need to keep each other in line."

- And Orym not applying it as evenly to himself could be a little self righteous except I'm reading this entire thing so heavily skewed by his own flaws and fears that it reads more like. Idk. Like Imogen telling Fearne "Its okay to be angry" and leaving us all here like "oh well the advice is technically sound but buddy this is also about you, huh <3". My hot take: Orym wasn't asking for commitments or promises or letting things slide because He's In Charge, its because he needed to hear that. He needs to.

- And whether the contents OF THE ACTUAL SPEECH are sound or not is a while other thing and very influenced by context and time. But I'm mostly fascinated by the nuance of it, because- its not inspirational, its desperate, its a wake up call, its an unsteady vow among people who, to a good extent, trust and like each other, and are now looking at a need to promise to distrust each other, as much as The Mission requires. For a shaken team, unsure, unmoored- I think it might do the trick. But hot damn, there's a lot going on under the surface.

#i didnt reblog a ton of posts on it or write about it bc i was still kind of working through my thoughts on it #and i didnt want to get swept up in people saying whether the speech was right or wrong or orym was being good or bad #bc. thats just not where my interest is. look how screwed up things are and look how theyre reacting. isnt that neat.#critical role #c3e31 #orym #character meta #meta #speculation #bell's hells #my meta #spar speaks #ask away!#orym meta

133 notes · View notes

torchsart · 1 year

Text

hehe addison hcs time :3 proobably not a good time 4 posting but oh well

i wanted them to be inspired by the ones we see in game, but not meant to Be them yknow? like vc is based on the orange that sells you the spamnequin but isnt that specific orange addison. also i decided too late that these ones are related somehow

i have a few general species hcs coming soon And eyes open portraits with that one template! anyway transcriptions under the cut:

1st pic: Bee (Breakfast) - He/they 6'0/183 cm

Real name Breakfast, goes by Bee

Hair is dyed

Freakishly tall for an Addison

Oldest & most successful

Runs a fashion company & models occasionally

Tends to baby others, likes to feel needed/useful

Drama queen, up to date on all the latest rumors and gossip

Snoops in everyone's love lives & personal relationships

"NTA divorce"

Tends to make assumptions abt others, is wrong all the time

Sucks at targeted ads

Pushy and stubborn both in sales & in life

Secretly insecure, easily jealous

Unhealthy coping mechanisms, bottles it all up, says they're ok

Uses Customer Service Mode to pretend he's fine

Was the inciting incident that pushed Spam away, consumed with regret over it

Can't bring himself to talk about Spamton

2nd pic: VC - He/they 5'5/170 cm

Second oldest, quite successful

Seamster and tailor as a legit job

Scams ppl on the side for fun, talks his way out of being at fault

Actively trying to look as shady as possible

Fast talker, often refuses to repeat themself

Swears uncensored at & in front of clients

Thrives on ppl impulse buying & has no return policy whatsoever

Deceptive marketing

Casual in everything he does, can come off as uncaring at times

Only still in business thanks to intervention from Breakfast

Generally pretty close with Bee, banters with him a lot

Teased Spam the most in his Addison days but offered him a job as a model for their designs

Cut Spam off right after Bee at his insistence. Feels guilty abt abandoning him so fast

Pretends they're not worried

Used to not talking abt Spamton, but will crack easily out of guilt

3rd pic: Spamton - He/him 3'5/108 cm

Middle child, not at all successful

Trying to do a bit of everything until he finds something that works

Markets to Lightners through emails

Dyes his hair white to fit in more

Unusually short for an Addison

Nearsighted & needs his glasses to read at a distance

Vocal glitch present to a lesser extent, sometimes helpful but mostly a nuisance

Quiet at work, can't project his voice very well due to lack of confidence

Has big dreams and lots of hope anyway

Shadowed under each of the others to get some experience and learn what works for them

Tried to copy their methods to no avail

Rejects jobs from siblings out of worry of being a nepotism hire

VC taught him how to con ppl, but Spam refuses to even try it bc he has Morals

Really looks up to Bee, seeks advice from them often

Interested in Taz's artistic endeavors! Loves watching him make things & helps pack orders sometimes

Adores the Lightner concept of cars, wishes they existed in Cyber City

4th pic: Cookie (Clicker) - They/them 5'5/170 cm

Real name Clicker, goes by Cookie

Hair gradient is a natural variation

Second youngest, surprisingly successful

Head of marketing for a fairly popular shoe store

Their absurd ideas end up working really well for some reason

Tends to space out & go on autopilot

Sweetheart with no backbone, falls to pressure easily

Often overcorrects for their mistakes in the worst ways

Bites, chews, and eats clothes

Trying to piece together what "sex" is without anyone knowing they don't know

Everyone knows but plays along

Bottles up their feelings like Bee, feels guilty abt being too late to the mansion

Toxic positivity mindset for themself, doesn't use Customer Service Mode though

Didn't tell anyone abt the garbage noise til post-NEO

Among the last to lose contact with Spamton, on decent terms

5th pic: Taz - He/him 5'5/170 cm

Youngest, actually not that successful

Very polite and doesn't push hard for sales at all

Makes fan merch for various media, usually his own favorites but caters to what's popular for the sake of actually making sales

Favors stickers and keychains

Generally calm and laid back but easily excitable

Gets loud without meaning to & apologizes for it frequently

Can be surprisingly snarky if he wants to but only directs it at Bee since they dish it out the most

His politeness has limits! May get passive-aggressive with clients if he feels the need to

The only one trying to process everything in a healthy way

Drifted from Breakfast after an argument where he held them accountable for pushing Spam away & told him he can't pretend Spam doesn't exist

Didn't want to apologize at first but did after seeing how much it hurt Bee

#spamton #deltarune fanart #deltarune #addispam #addisons #pink addison #orange addison #blue addison #yellow addison #spamton headcanon #fanart #torchs art #nov 2022

33 notes · View notes

original-character-championship · 1 year

Text

Valerio Propaganda

And the last post I’ve prepared for propaganda! Just random little facts about Valerio to add some more depth to him.

“Off-screen”:

Something I probably should have mentioned in the beginning: he’s a character created for the specific TV show! It takes place somewhere in the 19th century (I think so at least), in the kingdom inspired by several Latin American countries

I have something prepared for him for each period of his life but my fanfic where he’s one of the main characters is focused on his 35-42, so he’s best known as an adult traumatized man

In my fanfic he’s introduced as a school history teacher and later on becomes the main character’s mentor

The main goals of his journey: to accept his past and embrace it as an integral part of himself, to be more flexible and learn how to listen to other people, to know his purpose in life as he’s never truly known it due to his rigid parents and the chains (read: gloves) in which he shackled himself

Personality:

Since I’m kinda interested in this topic, his MBTI is ENFJ and his enneagram type is 2 (so/sx)! I’m not sure about the wing, it changes all the time, but usually he resembles 2w3 more

His birthdate is on August 18th and his Zodiac Sign is Leo! roar

Random facts (to be continued if he goes further ;)):

Valerio was very close with his mother, and they had one tradition: every year they made wooden ships together and floated them to the sea in honor of their birthdays, since they both were born in August (his mom is a Leo, too!). They always dreamt of traveling together but couldn’t, so they also wrote their wishes on the ship sails. The ships embodied those wishes, as they symbolized how “they could lift the anchor that was holding them and set sail towards what they aspired to.”

He went to boarding school and dedicated several months to drawing its map with all secret passages in order to run away (not in the sense that he never came back - just occasionally leaving the school to have some adventures outside its walls; he was sneaky~ yet he was one of the brightest students among his classmates)

He went by Rio when he was younger (it’s like Valerio and he understood perfectly that it made no sense but he still loved it, haha)

His mother was a jeweler, and he got the engagement ring for Leticia from her before her death in hope he would find someone truly dear to him someday (and he did 💔)

He started writing poetry before he fell in love with Leticia and then decided to share a few poems with her, which he regretted, because she was a poet herself and a waaay better one

He used to work in a historical museum as a guide

He knows many, many people and he’s good friends with most of them, but he has this one best friend who’s always been by his side no matter what he was going through whether it was his mother’s death, wife’s death, or the fire accident. His name is Matías, and he’s fantastic, the friend ever <3

And I’ve stored all propaganda posts in this one so you can easily find and read them without searching for them!

General Information

Young Valerio

Valerio and Leticia

Valerio’s trauma

That’s it for now! I have an ongoing arc for him in my fanfic, so I can’t share everything I have in store for him without spoiling, but I hope he’s got to catch your eye!

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to babble about my best man and show him to so many people! He’s an embodiment of so many character tropes I like and he’s so important to me on a personal level, too, so I’ll be grateful to each and every vote he gets 🖤

#propaganda #389 valerio álvarez

10 notes · View notes

theanimeview · 4 months

Text

Anime To Look Forward To – Winter 2024

It is the start of the Winter 2024 season, and, as mentioned, this month, we’re doing things missed before we take off on posting until about April. That means that TAV is missing basically all of the Winter season.

Before “leaving,” I wanted to make a few quick recommendations for those watching things this season.

In upcoming/ongoing works to consider watching this season, I (Peggy Wood, Editor of The Anime View) recommend:

Ore dake Level Up na Ken / Solo Leveling

We published a post about this one already, so I won’t explain why to watch this again here. Instead, please see our post on it: https://theanimeview.com/2023/12/23/winter-2024-must-see-dungeon-break-solo-leveling/

Tsuki ga Michibiku Isekai Douchuu 2nd Season / Tsukimichi -Moonlit Fantasy- Season 2

I watched Season 1 of this series back in 2021 and really liked it. As far as this isekai goes, it is a pretty consistently laid-back series. It is definitely the kind you can sit and enjoy without having to think about logistics constantly. It is a funny series, and the harem he builds is comedic rather than a gushing-girls story. A positive addition to the Winter 2024 lineup.

Dungeon Meshi / Delicious in Dungeon

I picked this series up after watching a video from Lines In Motion of YouTube (a channel we recommended in 2023). The video they shared made a significant impression on me, shedding light on aspects of the series that I hadn’t previously considered. As I read the manga, while it may not top my list of favorites, it’s unquestionably a series I’ve added to my watch list and one I feel comfortable recommending here. If you’re into a blend of dungeon drama interspersed with comedy and culinary adventures, this is definitely worth considering for your watch list as well!

Chiyu Mahou no Machigatta Tsukaikata / The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic

I began reading this manga a few years back but had to drop it due to focusing on classes and other projects. The recent announcement of its upcoming anime adaptation this season got me excited. I regret not completing the training arc at the story’s outset, which was incredibly enjoyable. The protagonist is an “average” individual driven to pursue a path of greatness for the sake of helping others. I’m drawn to this series primarily for its characters rather than its plot, although the unique premise intrigued me when I first encountered it. The main character, along with two genuine friends rather than deceitful counterparts, is summoned as heroes. Each undergoes their own training, gaining immediate prestige. However, in my opinion (and seemingly in the opinions of the other two friends), our protagonist stands out as the most remarkable among the trio. Very much looking forward to seeing it this season!

Akuyaku Reijou Level 99: Watashi wa Ura-Boss desu ga Maou dewa Arimasen / Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss but I’m Not the Demon Lord

We published a post about the manga for this already, so I won’t explain why to watch it here. Instead, please see our post on the manga, and consider that the anime will likely be just as great!: https://theanimeview.com/2023/01/28/edit-recommended-manga-review-villainess-level-99-i-may-be-the-hidden-boss-but-im-not-the-demon-lord/

Gekai Elise / Doctor Elise: The Royal Lady with the Lamp

This is a series I wanted to recommend a while ago. It is a completed webcomic currently available on Lezhin. This series is about second chances and what it takes to earn back what you’ve lost. Our main character is granted the opportunity to relive her life, armed with the knowledge of a past existence on Earth. It’s a tale of regression, characterized by various twists and turns, yet without particularly intense or nail-biting climaxes that come to mind. The narrative primarily unfolds as a love story that ends happily, and the journey to that happy ending is well worth reading for yourself if interested. Additionally, it draws inspiration from real-life medical history, incorporating elements that, while I can’t vouch for their accuracy, resonate with clear nods to historical events—an interesting and fun aspect for those in the know.

Loop 7-kaime no Akuyaku Reijou wa, Moto Tekikoku de Jiyuu Kimama na Hanayome Seikatsu wo Mankitsu suru / 7th Time Loop: The Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy!

This is another series I’ve been meaning to recommend for some time. It’s another regression story, but with a twist—here, the main character takes full advantage of the diverse opportunities that accompany each new lease on life. The initial chapters prompt one to think about the role of happenstance in our lives. It’s fascinating how certain events transpire solely due to being in the right place at the right time or due to a particular statement (or even the wrong one), shaping the trajectory we’re on. I found this exploration intriguing, especially with the main character’s positive outlook. They emphasize that missing one chance doesn’t preclude the possibility of finding or creating other opportunities that have just as much benefit. It really is a fun premise, and so I imagine that the anime will be just as fun to watch! Hence, my recommendation!

Saijaku Tamer wa Gomi Hiroi no Tabi wo Hajimemashita. / The Weakest Tamer Began a Journey to Pick Up Trash

If you enjoyed By the Grace of the gods, chances are you’ll find this series equally appealing. The main character faces a challenging and arduous journey, yet with the help of slimes, dedication, and a strong moral compass, it’s evident that she’ll overcome these obstacles. Based on what I’ve read, it is primarily a wholesome story. I highly recommend it to all of you!

Sousou no Frieren / Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End

We published a post about this one already, so I won’t explain why to watch this again here. Instead, please see our post on it: https://theanimeview.com/2023/09/30/write-fall-2023-season-must-see-title/

Meitantei Conan / Case Closed / Detective Conan

This is a long-running series that I love. Since I was making this post anyway, I thought I’d mention it too! If you like murder mysteries and puzzle-solving, this is a great anime to pick up.

#ANIME #RECOMMENDED WATCH #WINTER 2024

2 notes · View notes

starlit-dreaming · 1 year

Text

[ch2] it was only one night

Rating: E Ship: Lucathy (main), Calena (side), Felily (mention) TL;DR: Modern Setting + Lawyer Athy + IT Expert Lucas + Unplanned Pregnancy from a One-Night Stand Note: crossposted to Wattpad under the same name; crossposted to AO3 under Starlit_Dreaming

1 | [2] | 3 | 4

big shout out to @lithi and @hwang-lucas for being the best of friends to inspire the creation of this fic and its continuation by fuelling the lucathy flames and being fantastic buddies.

note: i barely edited the explicit scene, but there should be a lot of things different about this compared to the drafts

EY YO THIS CHAPTER’S EXPLICIT THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING TO LOOK AWAY CAUSE IM NOT GONNA CENSOR SHIT

athanasia and lucas are both consenting adults that are both using alcohol as an excuse. if that ain’t your jam then y’all shouldn’tve continued reading a fic thats been advertised as a one night stand au for the longest time

my works are always posted to tumblr first, ao3 second (sometimes swapped with tumblr), and wattpad third.

Summary: There are three things in this world that Athanasia truly regrets. 1. Being kind to Jennette Margarita, her cousin. 2. Giving Ijekiel Alpheus her many firsts. 3. Having a one-night stand with her co-worker and friend, Lucas Hwang. (And if she doesn’t regret sleeping with him, waking up in his bed, and wearing his clothes, then that’s just something she’ll keep to herself.) // In which Athanasia and Lucas fall in love, get married, have a child, and get their shit together by reconnecting with their respective families. Possibly in that exact order… or not.

————————————————————

ii. passion [EXPLICIT]

————————————————————

To start off with — despite the fact that The Lovely Success sounded like a title for a cringy romance novel or one of those published self-help books about how having self-confidence was the key to success, it was actually the name of an international law firm with multiple branches in different parts of the world. It was highly reputable, and the majority of the clients she'll end up meeting are in the upper class. Some snooty or entitled customers, but many polite and the slightest bit nosy — ignoring the annoying customers who flirt with her.

So, it stands to reason that for their company's holiday parties, it would require men in stiff suits and women dressed up in fancy-looking dresses. There was alcohol and champagne and treats on a buffet table, and some people who danced informally to the music.

However, because it was a company party composed of her co-workers and their partners, with a few outside businesspeople, the quality was nothing reminiscent of her days as an heiress as it was more informal. Admittedly, it did remind her too much of when she still lived with her family, but it was different enough for her to feel comfortable with the idea of attending.

Not that she'd be able to get out of it easily. There's either going to be networking opportunities or none at all, and for Athanasia, it tends to be the latter.

On her first end-of-the-year company party at the law firm, she somehow ended up drifting over to Lucas and befriending him, so it wasn't all for naught. They were aware of the other's existence, and had spoken on a few occasions as Lucas often had to fix the crummy company computers in her parts of the building.

They both mutually benefited in hanging out together that night — Lucas repelled the single men who tried to flirt with Athanasia with only an uncaring glance that intimidated them, and Athanasia ended up warding off the women who were pining for Lucas just by being the prettiest person in the law firm standing at his side with a thin smile. It was the start of a misunderstanding among their co-workers, who started to think that she and Lucas were romantically involved, but the two of them still didn't confirm or deny the rumours and simply ignored the question to this very day.

And why would they? It helped them, so there was never any reason to clear it up. For Lucas, it reduced his ever-growing headache when the majority of his co-workers stopped trying to flirt with him while on the job. For Athanasia, it lowered the number of flowers from secret admirers that she would find in her office, as well as put a halt to the rumours about her leading people just because she smiled at someone that day. Neither outright lied, but they didn't insinuate a damn thing. It was just too convenient, and they both knew it benefited the two of them.

Suffice to say, after that first party, it seemed like a given for her to stick with Lucas. They'd always sit at the same table with Cabel, since they both decided to start eating together in their shared camaraderie, and later, with Helena joining them after she graduates from law school a year after.

There was no reason for their unspoken routine to change when their third end-of-the-year company party came around.

It was supposed to be the same as usual.

But then everything changed.

——————————

(She remembers everything about that night with startling clarity.

And why wouldn't she, when she looked at the photos Lillian had sent her? Photos of Lillian's smile, of the pretty blue engagement ring that was now on her former nanny's finger, of the bouquet Lillian was thinking of making for her upcoming wedding.

And how could she not? When she remembers watching Cabel stand on one of his knees as if he was proposing — which he wasn't — holding Helena's hand as he dramatically asked her for a dance. Remembers how she would wistfully watch as Helena giggles with a bright and happy smile, leaving the table and going to the dance with their hands intertwined. She remembers that envy, making her feel just the tiniest bit of guilt at the happy couple's sweet moment.

And if only she could stop thinking of it all. How one glass of cheap-tasting and horrible champagne doubles and triples throughout the night. And how she'll mope and sulk at the table with Lucas, who stays by her side, talking to her lest she keeps reaching out for more champagne. And how she would be relieved, knowing that her cheeks were red from the alcohol and not because of her fluttering heart. How she vividly remembers vermilion eyes staring into her eyes, and how he takes her breath away, how she felt so incredibly warm and pleasant in his arms, how he held her in a tender embrace that her heart aches. How attractive he was, when he loomed over her, their bodies pressing closer and closer together with skin touching skin—

Ahem.

Suffice to say, she remembers that night very clearly.

Not that she'll admit it.)

——————————

Athanasia never really cares to remember much of the start when it came to parties. It was the same as previous years, in which a semi-mandatory Christmas party was held. For the most part, the people who first started this party had it with the intention of making it one of those matchmaking parties for singles. Now, it was just an excuse for a party and to gossip and matchmake whoever was single. Or unmarried; that was an important distinction. Granted, married couples still attend to show off their spouses.

As per tradition, she was seated at a table, sitting between Lucas and Helena. She arrived with Lucas, to fuel the implications and because it was easier for her to catch an Uber with him than for both of them to drive when they're going to be drinking tonight. After all, the alcohol will make this whole headache of a party be much more bearable. Worse comes to worst, she'll just crash on his couch if neither of them are sober enough to get an Uber for her. She's done it before — hell, everyone in their friend group always crashed at Lucas's place after having one too many drinks.

Absent-mindedly, she takes a sip of her glass of cheap champagne — it was disgusting since the day she first tried it, but time helped her adapt to the taste. At least it was a better brand this time, still bitter, a little too dry, but better — scrolling through the pictures Lillian had texted her. She was already pumped about the engagement since she knew Felix would propose the day before the Christmas party, and she was happy for Lillian. The wedding ring was a custom-made ring with a sparkling silver band, with little light blue gems shaped in a flower that matched Lillian's pretty blue eyes.

Athanasia had to help Felix with picking out the ring, since he had no eye for jewellery, but he was the one who noticed the blue gemstones on another piece of jewellery. He had the ring custom-made and ordered it the previous year — nerves got to him, but he did end up proposing eventually.

Oh, that was pretty, Athanasia thought, looking at the flower arrangements Lillian made at her family's flower shop. The bouquet was composed of soft blue and white flowers, with a bit of light silvery grey. Lillian was definitely going all out with their eye colours as a wedding colour theme, and Athanasia definitely agrees.

She finishes her drink before she gets a new glass of champagne as a waitress passes by.

A giggle is heard, light and familiar and obviously Helena's. Athanasia glances up from her phone with a flicker of her eyes, watching Cabel holding Helena's hand with a flourish. Like a nobleman holding a noblewoman's hand, he presses a kiss to the back of her hand, flashing Helena a charming smile.

"May I have this dance, my dear?" Cabel grinned, knowing full well what his girlfriend's answer was going to be.

"Of course," Helena giggled as he stood up, guiding her to stand up as well before he whisked her off to the dance floor.

It was a very strange sight to see Helena be so overjoyed with dancing. In fact, when they were younger, Helena confided in Athanasia that she dreaded going to any sort of party where she was expected to dance at least once. Her mother would often try to push boys their age onto Helena, as if trying to play matchmaker, and all of her friends were scrutinized and valued based on their family's worth.

Granted, it did help Helena form connections with their peers, and some of them did end up meeting Athanasia when she went on blind dates, but at least Helena didn't outright expect sparks to happen.

Helena smiled wide as she and Cabel danced.

She was sure Lucas had probably gagged over how lovey-dovey the two of them were being, but Athanasia couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy.

Having a partner was always nice, but it was always a strange thought, knowing that she would've been married by now if her life didn't take a turn in her university days. Of course, she never thought of herself as a housewife, so she wanted a partner that wouldn't hate the fact that she would be the possible breadwinner of the household.

Maybe she'll end up alone? She could adopt a dog or two...

Athanasia sips on her glass, blinking when she realizes that she finished yet another glass. This time, she gets another glass of champagne from a waiter.

Lucas slowly takes a sip from his own glass as he eyed the two empty glasses in front of Athanasia. He frowns, seeming irritated as he heaved a heavy sigh. She very clearly noticed how much his eyes narrowed as if something was bothering him.

'What's his problem?' Athanasia thought sullenly as she downed another glass.

"Alright," Lucas grumbled before diving straight to his point as he looked at her from the corner of his eyes. "Out with it. What's eating you up inside?"

"Well, you don't have to be so rude about it," she grumbled. "What are you even talking about?"

"Seriously. I thought you hated champagne," he stated as she was halfway finished with her third glass.

"Ugh. Let me wallow and drown in my loneliness," she groaned, slumping in her seat as she pouted like a petulant child. "If you must know, I'm going to die as a crazy old cat lady, Luke."

Lucas stared at her blankly before pinching the bridge of his nose.

Meanwhile, Athanasia opened her purse, taking out the container for her coloured eye contacts. She takes out her eye contacts; blue jewelled eyes were now showing as she took out the rose pink contacts. Even though she was still feeling incredibly sober — it took more champagne than two and a half glasses' worth to make her tipsy, let alone drunk — she was always an emotional person when she had alcohol. She sniffed, starting to feel the full brunt of her feelings. Plus, almost everyone were starting to get a little too tipsy to care about appearances, or they already knew who her birth father was.

Lucas grumbled before reluctantly rubbing her back in an awkward attempt at a comforting gesture. "I'm sure that everything's... okay."

"Everything's not okay," eyes tearing up as she downed the rest of her champagne, she had answered in a wobbly voice. She knows that she'll feel embarrassed about blubbering over everything at Lucas again, but it isn't the first time, nor was it going to be the last time it happens. She really should stop drinking the champagne, but in her defense, it was free. "I'll end up old and alone with an army of cats."

"Why are you like—" Lucas started off with a disgruntled look before taking a deep breath. With a calm and flat voice, he starts over, "You can be crazy sometimes, but why do you think you're going to end up all alone? And why cats? I thought you loved dogs more."

"Helena was the only one willing to marry me, but now she's with Cabel, and I'm happy for them, but now I'm stuck watching them be lovey-dovey while I'm still single."

She and Helena always joked about being the other's fiancée, but in a way it was still accurate. After going through a rough breakup with Ijekiel, Helena assured her that she'll find someone better, and if not then Helena herself would marry her if either of them remained single by their 30th birthday. Athanasia wasn't in any rush to get married, especially since she was focused on her career, but the what-ifs plagued her.

(Plus, Helena only made the offer because she was always down for ruining her parent's expectations of her when it came to marriage. Apparently they only approved of Cabel because of his family, but Cabel was an absolute menace when they were younger, and Helena's parents remembered that very clearly. They don't approve of them living together as an unmarried couple, however.

Not that Helena cared, of course. She was the one who insisted they moved in together.)

"You do realize that I'm their friend, too. I have to deal with their lovey-dovey shit, so why do you think you're alone here?" Lucas dryly asked. He knew better than to ask about the other details like, for example, being a cat lady.

Athanasia paid him no mind, lost in her own thoughts.

What if she was 30, and still single? It wouldn't be a big deal, but she was just tired of always being alone. She wanted to get married, she wanted to find a partner to spend the rest of her life with. She wanted this, and that, and everything else that she feels is too much out of her hands.

"I'm only 27," Athanasia slouched over the table, twirling her glass of champagne before taking another sip and sighing. "What if I do find a guy, and we end up getting a divorce? I know Helena will always be there to represent me in a divorce court case, but what if we end up going to court fighting over the custody of our dog?!" She looked at Lucas with teary eyes. "Kids are common in custody battles, but not pets! What if I never get custody of our dog and I get so distraught that I have to resort to adopting cats because of the painful memories of losing the custody battle?! Not only would I have wasted years on a failed marriage, but I'd be losing my dog!"

He stared at her, an incredulous look on as he stared at her, thinking, why is she like this? What exactly was he even supposed to say to that? Was she having an existential crisis again? Is this what her existential crisis is supposed to look like? Why does this happen to him? He's a good person, he's beautiful, he's the best in his job field, so why does he have to deal with something as troublesome as this?

"You're kidding me."

"It's happened. Ask Helena — she had a case where a financially stable couple, amicable towards each other and agreeing on a 50-50 split of their assets, got into an argument of custody over their dog," she looked at him with wide, horrified eyes. "What if that's going to happen to me?! I don't want to be one of those crazy people in Helena's cases! People are crazy from beginning to end or they're crazy about one specific thing. I don't want to be one of them, refusing to accept any kind of agreement to the point that I end up going to court over whatever!"

"I think," Lucas slowly said, eyeing her warily, "that you're the one that needs to go outside more."

"Lucas!"

"Athena," he sighed. "Look, you're not going to be alone. I'm here too, I'm not in a relationship, so you don't have to worry if you think every couple will leave you by yourself."

"That's even worse!" she cried, propping her elbows on the table as she buried her face into the palm of her hands. "I'm gonna end up all alone with you. It's just not possible! You like cats more than dogs. And yeah, sure, cats are cute, but dogs. That's a dealbreaker, Luke — we're incompatible!"

"Gosh, I'm a sensitive guy, you know, that sort of statement kind of hurts my feelings," Lucas blandly states.

Well, it didn't actually hurt, rather he found her comment to be rude. Had she been someone else, he would've said something ominous or slightly threatening for insinuating that he wouldn't be a good partner.

Instead, he watches her cheeks flush pink as she finishes off the rest of her third glass before getting a fourth one. "Also, I never said anything about liking cats more than dogs — I don't have a preference, so don't worry. Feel free to form an army of dogs instead of cats," he shook his head, sipping the remainder of his champagne.

"Really?" she brightened up, looking at Lucas with watery eyes. "You would still be with me even after I get a bunch of dogs and be a crazy dog lady?"

"Yeah, sure," he rolls his eyes. "I support you."

Hopefully, she didn't actually take that seriously, he would later think. He didn't want to imagine her getting god knows how many dogs in a fit of insanity.

She had to have known he wasn't serious, right?

. . .

Hopefully.

——————————

(And, she'll later recall, looking back on all of this, that it was hard to forget that at the end of the day she was Athanasia de Alger Obelia. It wasn't a secret that she was the former heiress of her father's business, but it was easy to pretend she was someone else entirely the moment she left home and changed her surname to her mother's.

There were plenty of blondes named Athanasia out there in the world, some with different spell variations or similar sounding names like Anastasia. Probably with blue eyes, too, if they didn't notice the jewelled part of her blue eyes, but it was an easy fix with coloured contacts and her mother's maiden name.

Lily, Felix, and Helena constantly reminded her of that past, that Athanasia Lebedeva was considered the unloved daughter, that she would still be connected to her father.

It was never malicious, of course, but it always weighed down on her, knowing how much they knew.

But Lucas didn't. He didn't even care about who she was.

Maybe that was why she...)

——————————

And it's after her mini sob fest that things start to feel a little hazy.

She justifies every word and action as something done because of the alcohol that was running through her veins. Athanasia has never actually gotten drunk off of champagne, and all champagne ever does for her is make her head float as if she's on cloud nine, but when it comes to herself, Athanasia isn't a very honest person.

Lucas is more aware than she was, she's pretty sure, but the alcohol's making him grin more, and she's giggling and happy and bright. She's not an alcoholic, but she can understand why people would willingly drink and drink and drink.

They don't even realize that Cabel and Helena had already gone home for the night, not until they decided to leave. It was 10PM, only two hours after the party started, when Lucas says that he'd rather go home than stay any longer than what he was obligated to, and Athanasia agreed with the sentiment. He was only sticking around her to help keep their so-called relationship image to their co-workers, she reasoned.

She's had one too many drinks, and since their respective best friend ditched them, he was just being a good friend by being there for her, she reasoned. So that's why he lets her lean into his side, with an arm wrapped around her shoulder to hold her steady. Because she's just the slightest bit on the side of being too tipsy to walk straight.

So, she's honest when she's had one too many drinks. Her footsteps are unsteady, she gets more emotional than she'd like to be, and she relearns a fact that she's ignored for years: she's still lonely.

She feels it deep in her bones, stuck in a place of aching honesty.

She's lonely.

"I don't want to go back to my apartment," the words slip out as they wait in the elevator, waiting together, alone and just the two of them.

"I don't want to be alone again," her whispers roared in her mind, and her eyelids would flutter shut, focusing on the warm and comforting weight of his hand wrapped around her shoulder.

"That place just doesn't feel like a home," and she's not sure if she's talking about her crummy apartment or her father's estate. Maybe it's both.

"There's no one waiting for me there." Silence.

She feels the hand squeeze her shoulder, a light pressure, a reminder that there's a hand there, or rather, that he's still with her.

(Athanasia wonders if Lucas ever realized how much that minor gesture meant to her at that moment.)

"What do you want to do, then?" Lucas eventually asks, when she finally looks up at him. Sapphire blue meeting cinnabar red. "You're always welcome to stay with me tonight."

A pause.

And suddenly, there's an implication there, an unspoken question that she did not intend to happen.

And, Athanasia would reason to herself for the sake of preserving their friendship and keeping things Not weird, that it's just the alcohol that made her feel turned on by the implications. That her loneliness amplified a desire to fall asleep beside someone who'll keep her company.

"If that's what you want," Lucas eventually said as if it were an afterthought, staring into her eyes. It felt as if his eyes, his beautiful, unwavering eyes, were searching for something in her eyes.

(She doesn't know if he ever found what he was looking for.)

All she says is, "I do."

——————————

Athanasia would like to state that for the record, she is not normally carried away when she's tipsy.

Or at least, that's how she justified her actions. They were both sitting in the back of an Uber driver's car, and something about sitting next to each other just seemed to... spark something. She's not sure what it was, attraction, yeah, maybe something like lust — she's no stranger to hookups, but it's a first for it to involve one of her co-workers.

Something inexplicable sparks the moment their eyes meet in the backseat, because Lucas is staring at her, and she's looking back at him. Their fingers were interlocked, and they gravitated towards each other.

Maybe there was something between them all along, or perhaps it was a feeling spurred on from the champagne.

Perhaps both.

Their friendship is on the line here, but they both have an excuse of being drunk, with the alcohol thrumming through their veins. It makes them float, inclines them to do something more. They won't have to address any awkward feelings or confront anything personal in the morning.

All that matters for now is that they want to make a mistake.

(And a mistake they will commit.)

They do end up kissing in that same backseat. Her hands were loosely wrapped around his neck as Lucas ran one of his hands through her hair, effectively undoing the hair bun she had for the occasion, as he placed his other hand around her waist. She felt so warm, and she wanted more, more, more.

It wasn't a chaste kiss.

Their kiss leaves her with swollen lips, a face flushed red, and with burning lungs. She pulled away to breathe, and when she breathed, it was the first time in years that she'd felt so much more alive — she could taste the champagne that they both had, still felt the feeling of his tongue against hers.

She doesn't think about their friendship, about the possible consequences of the two of them doing this, nor does she think of the fact that they weren't supposed to be doing this.

(The thrill of being intimate with Lucas would be worth that risk, she thought.)

Instead of their friendship, she thinks about his eyes — molten cinnabar trapped in an intense stare, for her and only her at this very moment. Instead of their friendship, she thinks about how pretty he looks with pink cheeks and half-lidded eyes. Instead of their friendship, she thinks about the way his voice sounds, the way it lowers with a raspy tone as he whispers 'Athy' and how pleasant it feels for him to say her nickname like that.

And instead of their friendship, she thinks about the way he feels, his lips on hers, the way their fingers intertwined, the weight of his hand around her waist, or the comfort of his fingers that were now running through her hair.

Because instead of their friendship, all she can think about is wanting more, more, more.

So she makes her move, her fingers wrapping around his tie to pull his lips back down to meet hers in a rough rush. It's hot, it's breathier than the kiss before, it's heavy with unspoken promises, and still, it doesn't feel enough. And it's this time that Lucas is the one to pull away for air, and he stares at her with half-lidded eyes.

He looks at her as if he wants her and no one else, as if he wants more than just a bruising kiss to remember this night by.

And... she knows that she wants more, too.

Her heart is bursting, pounding hard the longer she stares into Lucas's eyes in the back of a stranger's car, as they're undoubtedly breaking seatbelt laws. And Lucas's hand creeps up the skirt of her dress, a warm hand resting on her thigh as he leans in close. It was enough to convey that it wasn't just her that wanted this, but also a reassurance that he could still back off at her say so.

Not that she would ever want him to.

"Let me have you," he mumbles into her ear, quiet for her to hear, before pulling back enough for him to look at her eyes. His other hand cups her cheek — feeling refreshingly cold against her burning skin. And as she looks into his half-lidded eyes, she finds herself effectively ensnared by his charming good looks that she often cursed.

"Okay," she breathes, thinking about how she wants his hand to crawl higher than just her thigh right now. She didn't care about the what-ifs or what-happens-next. The only thing on her mind is his touch, his kiss, his stare focused on her and nothing else.

"Okay?" he echoes with a teasing smirk, his lips so close to hers that it feels almost torturous.

She frowns.

Again, her hand yanks on his tie for another abrupt kiss.

However, Lucas has the gall to huff in amusement as he turns his head slightly, causing her to kiss his cheek instead as if he predicted that from her. And he gives her a teasing smirk when she puffs up her cheeks at him for avoiding the kiss. And instead of saying anything else, he simply grins at her unspoken frustration, his hand holding a lock of her hair, bringing it up to his lips. Her hair was loose and messy from their make-out session.

It's only when their Uber driver states, "We're here," with relief in their voice as the car reaches to a halt, that she realizes that this must've been the reason why Lucas put an abrupt pause to their backseat kissing.

(It's only later, when she thinks back on this moment, that she'd like to profusely apologize to the Uber driver.)

Athanasia no longer feels tipsy enough to need help with standing and walking, but their impromptu make out session does give her slightly weak knees. Lucas still uses her being "tipsy" as an excuse to hold her in a princess carry to his apartment.

And despite her initial protests, she doesn't actually mind it.

In fact, she never wants him to let go.

——————————

Lucas drops her onto his bed, his hand reaching up to loosen his tie — it's a sight she's only seen in her guilty pleasure romance movies, a sight she's only fantasized about until now. He hovers above her which makes her heart leap, and there's something about the look in his eyes, something that makes her feel warm and fuzzy, and she thinks she's going to go crazy from how hard her heart beats.

There's an ache in her skin that makes her burn for so much more that it's beginning to feel unbearable. She wants him inside her, wants to feel him being rough against her, to scratch his back.

"I want to hear you scream my name, Athanasia," he whispers against her neck, his breath and the way he says her name causes a shiver to go down her spine. He chuckles at the reaction, seeming almost smug about it, too.

That was kind of annoying, she huffed.

He's lucky that he's cute.

"I'm not a screamer, Lucas," she cheekily states, and she's pretty sure that it's true. She'll gasp and pant and quietly moan, but she's never cried out, she's never screamed her partner's name before.

She kind of wants to scream tonight, though, and she thinks that if it's Lucas, he could succeed. If it's him, she might scream his name and cry when they twist and turn in ecstasy.

But she does want to wipe that smirk off his face. It would be tempting to stay quiet.

"Not for long," he murmurs, sounding awfully confident.

"Think you're up for the challenge?"

"It's a promise, Athy."

With her clothes off and undergarments remaining, she's feeling more exposed than she's ever been. Her panties and bra are black and lacy — a matching set she bought to make herself feel prettier and confident, and she feels incredibly relieved to know she wore the best pair of her underwear tonight.

She just didn't expect to feel so much more than that when Lucas sucks on her neck, his knee pressing up against her panties that she knows are getting soaked more and more and — oh god, she quietly moans.

And he swallows up her moans by kissing her lips, tongue pressing against tongue, and it leaves her breathless and aching, her eyes nearly tearing up as her hips press down against his knee. It's not enough friction for the throbbing need that she feels, the heat pooling below her stomach, and she clenches down on nothing as the ache only continues to grow relentless and insatiable. She's not normally reduced to tears, but Lucas has been hitting all the right spots since their night together started.

He starts to leave a trail of kisses, starting from her jaw back down to her neck where he leaves another hickey or two — it causes her to shiver and moan. Then a kiss to her breast trailing down to her hip, his body sliding down only to stop when he's eye level with her panties. And she removes the arm covering her eyes to look down at him, wondering why he stopped.

There's an insufferable smirk on his face that turns her on, but it also makes her want to punch it off.

Preferably both. Undoubtedly both.

"Well, now," Lucas seemed just about ready to tease, his hands brushing against her inner thigh, causing her to gulp from how sensitive her thighs were. As if he figured that out, his hand absentmindedly brushes her inner thigh back and forth with his index finger, slowly and almost torturous. Again, she clenches down on nothing. "I know I'm handsome, but I never would've thought that you would be this wet for me already."

"Ugh, will you just get a move on already, you insufferable—" As if anticipating her frustrated response, he presses his finger against her clit through her silk panties. The sudden sensation causes her to let out a startled squeak, there's a spark as he rubs against the bundle of nerves that causes her eyes to tear up more as she gulps and breathes, her hips arching up, grinding into that single finger through the thin, wet layer of her panties.

Just as she was about ready to snap at Lucas again, to demand that he stopped teasing her, the insufferable tease knew the perfect way to catch her off guard.

He tugs her panties off, leaning down to lock his mouth to her clit and suck. The unexpected force of it causes her to gasp loudly, back arching as she throws her head back against the bed, the balls of her feet pressing against his back. Two of his fingers slip into her, sliding in and out with ease as he leisurely stretches her open, and the relentless pace, the unwavering pressure that keeps building up more and more — it makes her melt and cry out as she bursts.

And for a minute, he just keeps going, drawing out the overwhelming pleasure as she cries from the overstimulation.

She can feel the smug curve of his lips against her body before he finally stops, giving her a moment to breathe.

"You're terrible. Absolutely terrible," she grumbles, shooting him a withering look.

"I thought I was doing pretty good with all those cute gasps," he states impishly, that smug grin still on his face. "Do I need to do something to redeem myself, your highness? Should I properly eat you out this time?"

That was not what she meant, and he knows it.

And right now, that's not what she wants from him, either. (At least, for now, anyway, the thought of him eating her out did sound good.)

"Just fuck me already!"

——————————

Lucas is the type of person who likes to take his time, she quickly learns.

He takes his time to explore her body, making her squirm and moan and gasp with every purposeful stroke in a way she's never known. She's known that he's always been the teasing sort of guy, but she only now realizes how that translates into the bedroom as he presses his teeth across her skin, only biting down when he hears the slightest stutter of breath coming from her lips just to hear her gasp and moan. His lips kiss her inner thighs, and she finds herself sighing and humming as he leaves behind love marks wherever he touches — the reddening marks easily hidden, but will undoubtedly be felt with every movement she makes.

And yet he still manages to tease her, the way his tongue licks and presses against her breasts, sucking on each nipple until they're pert and stiff while he fingers her open. It's the first time she's ever burned with a need for more. It's the first time her eyes tear up in years, and for her hips to still uncontrollably move.

It's the first time that she desperately wants to feel everything, to be touched and held and loved and, and—

And all she can think about is "Lucas, please, right there, more, oh god—"

When he sinks into her, his entire length inside her, he groans. It's a low and raspy tone of voice, and while she's heard him groan out complaints, heard him murmur her name in a low tone, this was different, this groan causes her to shiver with eager anticipation. And as he gives her a moment to adjust to that feeling of being full, he kisses her, soft and sweet enough that it could rot her teeth.

She whines at the feeling, feeling herself adjust to the very noticeable length inside her, planning to cover her face only for Lucas to stop her arm. And he kisses her, whispering against her lips, "Don't hide, I want to see your face." And it's quiet, paired with a softened gaze.

(She'll deny it in the aftermath, but these are the moments that she'll hope to repeat.

Her heartfelt light and full of affection.)

Athanasia begs him — without prompting — to move.

And he obliges, sliding in and out with ease. The second time he slides back in, she easily decides, was much better than the first. The third time was certainly a charm. And when he slams in on the fourth, she cries out, no longer judging the movements as long as he does it again, faster, harder.

And when he drives his hips forward, she trembles, losing herself in pleasure. And it gets even better when her legs widen, and he slams down against her, hitting the spot that makes her scream the loudest she's ever been. And Lucas, ever the man who pays attention to every little thing that he's done to draw out noises that she didn't even know that she could make until now, repeats that action and makes her writhe against his bedsheets and weep out pleas.

"Please, please, please— Lucas!"

She screams his name, in the end.

——————————

In the aftermath, when they're both finished, they just lay there together in each other's arms, cuddling. She was tired, she felt sticky and gross from the dried up sweat and the smell of sex in the air. Still, she could tell that they were both satisfied and content, and too exhausted to do much else.

Her cheeks burn red at the feeling of cum dripping out of her — she really ought to go shower and clean up, but she'll do that tomorrow. She'll need to buy a Plan B tomorrow, anyway. For now, she just wants to do nothing.

And as she lays in his bed, with his arms wrapped around her, she starts to doze off with her head tucked in the crook of his neck. His fingers ran through her hair, and she sighs, relaxing against his. She allows herself to indulge in this warm comfort, and she curls up against him with a smile.

They can worry about the world tomorrow, for all she cares.

That'll be a morning problem.

——————————

The first thing that registers in Athanasia's mind is that she doesn't want to get up.

When she awakens, she allows herself another indulgence, a fantasy, a what-if scenario. "What if we were actually together and hopelessly in love" type of scenario. It's not hard to imagine, with her naked in a big and comfortable bed that doesn't belong to her.

And it's just so easy, when lays at her side, propped up on one hand as the other hand runs through her hair, fingers twirling her hair.

There's a moment, where he caresses her cheek, and she'll reason with herself, that it's just on the spur of the moment, or that he's just sleepy when he pecks her lips. A chaste kiss that's softer than anything she's ever known.

As she lays in his arms, in his warm embrace, she wonders if she should pursue this.

Ultimately, she doesn't.

Not yet, anyway.

(But, to be honest, that is neither here nor there.)

——————————

She manages to take a shower without much of an issue. Her muscles are sore, her legs a tiny bit weak and wobbly, but she's warm and clean. The process was a pain in the ass — literally — but she can't say she regrets a damn thing. It was the best lay she's ever had, and Athanasia has been with other people.

When she leaves his bathroom, she's wearing a large clean shirt that makes her feel like a dwarf because Lucas was a jerk who just had to pick the biggest shirt for her to wear. He did have a small pair of shorts that he kept in storage with all the other stuff he hadn't worn since his high school days. So she at least won't be stuck in a shirt the whole night.

She could still smell his shampoo in her hair. Even though she adored her apple-scent shampoo and her flower soaps, Lucas at least had the same shampoo and soap brand as her. He had the standard stuff, but apart from that, he had a shelf of lotions in his room. Helena always lamented about how unfair it was that she hardly ever needed facial cleansers or face lotions to have such smooth skin. Athanasia wonders how much Helena would find a sort of kinship with Lucas after hearing of his vast collection.

Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, they don't talk about last night.

She finds Lucas moving leisurely around his kitchen, the smell of warm eggs and bacon simmering in the kitchen. He was dressed in a loose t-shirt and a simple pair of black shorts.

Apart from him stopping and staring at her, with the way his eyes trailed up and down as he took in the sight of her, blatantly checking her out, everything felt simple and normal. It was nice, domestic, even, with just the two of them without their friends.

They're both clearly aware that there's something new between them, something that wasn't there prior to last night. They talk about anything, anything except for last night.

Granted, she almost smacked him when he didn't even try to hold back his snicker at the obvious limp in her steps. It's not her fault her hips and legs were sore!

Still, she finds out more about Lucas as they sit and eat together. They talk about their upcoming holiday plans. Lucas would be going to visit his grandmother for a week, since she's been nagging him about not seeing her much, about how he never visits. She knew that he has two brothers, but apparently he's the grandmother's favourite.

She tells him about her plans to celebrate Felix and Lillian's engagement with her bridesmaids, Hannah and Ces. As she excitedly tells him about being Lillian's bridesmaid, as her mother was originally supposed to be, there's a look in his eyes that she might consider to be... fond? Athanasia tries not to think too deeply about it.

Something does change between them, after that night. Because sometimes Lucas would twirl his fingers through her hair mid-conversation. Because sometimes Athanasia would hold his hand, and he would let her hold it without a single word or any sort of complaint. There were times when he would linger around her at work — he still did his work efficiently as possible, but he was more willing to talk. He'd ask questions, he'd stay around her for a fee extra minutes after he finished, ignoring calls until he decided to grace other departments with his presence.

They don't kiss, and that suits her just fine. It's clear that they're in this awkward in-between stage, that their feelings are mutual. She's fine with staying as friends for now, and he is, too. Eventually, she'd like to date him, but she's not sure how serious she wants them to be, because she's nearing thirty now, and she does want to have a family of her own one day, and Lucas doesn't give off the feeling of being a family man...

Still, she likes how different things are. It's in the little things — the lingering stares, the secretive smiles, and their brief touches.

It makes her heart flutter, and she doesn't know what to call this feeling.

. 'I regret nothing,' she ultimately thinks.

#fic: it was only one night #wmmap au #wynter writes #lucathy #lithium tag #ilyusha tag

21 notes · View notes