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ilookedintoit · 17 days

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When Vince Met Amy: Part 1

Vince Gill and Amy Grant recently celebrated their 24-year wedding anniversary in March. They have been as serene and stable of a celebrity couple as you can find since the turn of the century, so it may be easy to forget that their love story began in rather dramatic fashion.

When the two singers first met, they were married to other musicians. What followed was several years of what one of their ex-spouses would refer to as "an inappropriate friendship" that predated their divorces.

Amy would even admit years later, talking about her ex-husband struggling with her friendship with Vince: "How painful to be married to somebody you know is so captivated by another human being.”

Amy and Vince have always maintained they didn't have an affair — at least, not one of a physical nature. But it does seem obvious that they fell in love many years before they were actually able to be together.

Here is the timeline of how Vince met Amy, and what happened in the 10 sometimes very messy years between that first meeting and their inevitable wedding day.

1980

Vince Gill marries Janis Oliver, a singer with the Sweethearts of the Rodeo, in 1980 after meeting as working musicians in Los Angeles.

They have a daughter in 1982 and move to Nashville to expand their music careers in 1983. At first, Janis's career takes off faster than Vince's. He even writes a tongue-in-cheek song about it called "Everybody's Sweetheart" in 1987.

I used to be the first in line Now I've fallen way behind She's everybody's sweetheart Everybody's sweetheart but mine

It is not until 1989 after he releases the album "When I Call Your Name" under MCA Records that he begins to achieve major success in country music.

1982

At the age of 21, Amy Grant marries fellow contemporary Christian singer-songwriter Gary Chapman. This same year, she releases the Christian album "Age to Age" that will eventually go platinum. She becomes wildly successful as a performer and on Christian radio. Gary will be along for the ride, writing songs with and for her, and playing on her tours.

In 1988, Amy's song "Faithless Heart" raises some eyebrows for the insinuation it makes about possible trouble in her marriage to Gary.

At times the woman deep inside me Wanders far from home And in my mind I live a life That chills me to the bone A heart running for arms out of reach But who is the stranger my longing seeks?

Amy would be honest when doing promo for her new album that she and Gary had struggled.

“I wrote that song about three years ago, during such a hard time in our marriage,” says the singer, who met Chapman when she was 18, married him at 21, and lives with him and Matthew on a farm near Nashville. “I don’t think Gary knew how hard it was. Sometimes you can live with somebody and they don’t have any idea of the struggle you’re going through. As it ended up, in the fall of 1986, Gary and I went through several months of marriage counseling, and it was great.” (The Chicago Tribune, November 1988)

Unbeknownst to the world at the time, Gary had battled a substance abuse problem until 1986.

“I had two distinctly different lives,” he says today. “Different sets of friends, different likes, dislikes, actions, everything.” Grant wasn’t aware of his drug use, he insists, though as his moods darkened and communication broke down, a marital separation seemed imminent. Faced with that prospect, Chapman came clean, and with the help of counseling, he and Amy put things back together. (Texas Monthly, 1997)

In addition, Amy said there were other issues:

"It would be hard to say what all the dynamics were, but I think on some level there was probably some competition inside our marriage. In any circumstance where's there competition going on, what there can't be is nurturing." (Source)

Amy and Gary have three children together in 1987, 1989, and 1992.

1983

Vince says he remembers hearing Amy's song "Tennessee Christmas" on the radio in 1983 and it making an impact on him at the time.

"I was driving around somewhere in Nashville and I heard her voice and I pulled the car over. I said, 'There's something in that voice, it's connecting to me,' and little did I know how much." (Source)

1990

Amy and Vince first meet at an event for children of deployed soldiers from Fort Campbell, near Nashville, on December 15, 1990. The Christmas celebration is meant to bring cheer to the kids whose parents are far away.

Amy will recall that they didn’t really get to know each other much at this event. Her husband, Gary, also attends.

This photo below, from the Jan. 12, 1991, Billboard newspaper, shows Amy and Vince smiling at each other during this event, with Gary sitting beside them.

In September 1994, when they are still just friends, Amy tells The Boston Globe this about their first meeting:

“A lot of troops were sent to Desert Storm from Fort Campbell (near Nashville). So on that Christmas, Vince and myself and a couple of other artists went up to perform and sing Christmas carols with the children and spouses that had been left behind. “Vince and I hit it off and have done more and more things together as the years have gone by.”

1991-1992

Vince is a prolific songwriter and his marriage is sometimes a topic in his songs, including the 1991 ballad, "Look at Us."

Still leaning on each other If you wanna see how true love should be Then just look at us

Janis is featured prominently in the romantic music video.

In 1992, Vince writes the song "I Still Believe In You" for Janis after a fight. It is an interesting other-side-of-the-coin song to "Everybody's Sweetheart," which he wrote when she was on the road a lot and having more success than him, leaving him behind. Now he is the bigger star in the marriage, and they're facing the same problems in reverse.

He made a writing appointment with piano player John Jarvis on a day he had originally planned to spend with his family. Janis Gill was livid that he had intruded on their day, and they argued about it before he left the house. Feeling guilty, Vince wrote an apology that day ("I Still Believe In You") ... Janis later said she cried when she heard it. (The Tennessean)

Somewhere along the way, I guess I just lost track Only thinkin' of myself, never lookin' back For all the times I've hurt you, I apologize I'm sorry it took so long to finally realize

"I Still Believe In You" becomes Vince's first song to hit No. 1 on the country chart. For the song he also wins CMA Song of the Year and Grammys for Best Country Song and Best Country Vocal Performance.

Janis says in a joint interview with Vince in the early 90s that them both being musicians has caused challenges at times:

“I’m really proud of the way that Vince and I have held our marriage together, and we’d be lying if we said that it was easy, because it isn’t. It’s really hard, and you have two egos to deal with, and conflicting schedules, a lot of time on the road.”

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1993

Vince and Amy's paths will cross more substantially than ever before in 1993, when Amy is invited to participate in the taping of Vince’s Christmas TV special to be filmed in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Vince has just had a huge year, winning two Grammy Awards and then in addition to co-hosting the CMA Awards in September, he also wins Entertainer of the Year, Male Vocalist of the Year, Album of the Year, and Song of the Year. He is without a doubt at the top of his game, so heading up a Christmas special is just one more big project to add to his list.

Ahead of the Christmas show taping, Vince talks to Tulsa World in an interview printed Nov. 29, 1993:

“I was able to get some friends of mine, good people, easygoing people,” said Gill. “Amy’s kind of the modern-day Johnny Mathis – you think of Christmas, and you think of her. She lives near me, and I’m a big fan of hers.”

According to Amy, Gary made a peculiar statement to her as she was heading out the door to go to Tulsa for the filming:

This was messy because I met Vince when I was married to Gary. I had been invited to do a television show with him filmed in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and it was right after my 33rd birthday... I was headed to the airport. Gary... we had been in marriage therapy, we were wired so differently. And I was walking out the door and he said, "Hey, don't fall in love with him." I said, "What? Why would you even say such a thing?" He said, "I've spent time with him, and you're wired very similarly." (Source)

The taping takes place on December 1, 1993. About their meeting, Amy would remember:

When I walked into that first rehearsal in Tulsa... I guess my brow was knitted and Vince walked over, he put his arm around me and he said "Hey, unkit that brow, it's okay." I remember looking at him and I said, "No one says that to me in my life."

Gill remembers that someone dared him to put on a top hat and go and dance with Grant during one of her songs — even though he "can't dance a lick" by his own admission. "I started dancing with her, and those pretty big eyes," he said. "I started to sing and the words were just nowhere to be found. And the people were laughing at me." (Vince to ABC Primetime in 2002)

Amy, who had been warned by her husband not to "fall in love" with Vince, said that while they did hit it off at the taping, she didn't think much of it...

"Except I thought — anything he's involved with I'm going to go do that thing, because he's just fun to be with."

Two weeks later, Vince participates as a performer for Amy Grant's Tennessee Christmas at the Grand Ole Opry House. A new Christmas tradition of performing with each other for holiday-themed events is born.

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Whenever You Come Around

Vince would admit years later that he wrote the song "Whenever You Come Around" with Amy in mind after doing his Christmas special with her.

“This is a song that was inspired by a smile that I saw for the first time on the face of a woman that I’d never met. That was Amy Grant back in 1993. “I was so inspired, moved by the sight of that smile, that I came home and wrote this song,” he admitted. “I had no idea that all these years later we’d wind up together, have kids. … Life’s funny.”

The lyrics include:

The face of an angel, pretty eyes that shine I lie awake at night wishing you were mine I'm standin' here holding the biggest heartache in town Whenever you come around

I get weak in the knees and I lose my breath Oh I try to speak, but the words won't come I'm so scared to death And when you smile that smile, the world turns upside down Whenever you come around

“When I met [Amy] years ago I was just completely taken with her smile. We were doing a TV show together, and she walked in and smiled at me. I haven’t been the same since.” Vince shared that in the midst of wanting to write the song, he reached out to his friend, Pete Wasner. And, together they penned what the Country Music Hall of Fame member describes as the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his whole life. Prior to laying down the lyrics though, Vince remembered telling his buddy, “I want to write a song about Amy Grant’s smile.” But a surprised Pete reacted with, “Do you even know her?” (Source)

Vince says that he played the song for Amy and she didn't realize it was about her.

“She asked me to play her something that I was working on for my new record. So I played her this song that I had written about her, and didn’t tell her,” said Vince. “She listened to it and said, ‘Oh that’s nice. That’s really beautiful.’ Years and years and years later she said, ‘I remembered listening to that song for the first time and all I could think of was, ‘Who is the lucky girl that that song was written for?’” (Source)

For Amy during that time, she says: "The loneliness in my marriage was very apparent."

"Even though there were things about my life that were so difficult for me personally, I think the option of divorce was not an option." (Source)

House of Love

Amy and Vince will continue to orbit each other in many ways.

The two co-write a song called "If I Had My Way," which appears on Vince's album "When Love Finds You" released in June 1994.

They also record a duet shortly after Vince's Christmas show called "House of Love,” for Amy's new album of the same name.

In September 1994, Amy tells The Corpus Christi Caller Times the story of how she got Vince to duet with her on "House of Love."

When the topic turns to duet partner Gill, Grant gets a bit gushy as she talks about his charity work and self-effacing attitude. … “I think sometimes things that are really rewarding in life, you don’t push,” she says. “One thing just kind of leads to another. “That song ‘House of Love’ is probably the truest moment of that kind. I was trying to do the background vocals and I was mortified at how high they were. I couldn’t hit the notes. I’m sitting at the studio, dying a thousand deaths, when a friend who sells real estate called and said, ‘I’m getting ready to show Vince and Janis this farm you and Gary looked at; do you want to go?’ I love hiking, and it’s a beautiful hillside and I was familiar with the land, and I said yes. “After we looked at the farm, we were all getting in our cars to leave. I said, ‘Will you do a song for me on my record?’ and Vince said, ‘Sure.’ It amazed me that he didn’t even care what the song was about."

They film a music video, and the behind the scenes footage of them recording the song in late 1993 is available on YouTube.

1994

"House of Love" is released in late 1994, and the two make an appearance together on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

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Both Amy and Vince's ex-spouses would later make claims about signs or outright actions of impropriety between Amy and Vince as early as 1994.

After their divorce, Gary would claim that:

Amy “came to him in late 1994 and made a declaration that took him by surprise: ‘I don't love you anymore. You're the biggest mistake I've ever made… I've given my heart to another man.’" (CCM Magazine)

And in a November 1999 People Magazine article, Vince’s ex-sister-in-law will also claim that 1994 was the year his wife, Janis, learned that Amy and Vince's relationship was beyond what she would be comfortable with as his spouse.

Janis Gill, 44, Vince's wife of 17 years and mother of his daughter Jenny, 17, initially tolerated the close friendship he struck up with Grant, known for her Christian-themed paeans to eternal love, after she performed at his 1993 Christmas concert. Janis's forbearance vanished the next year after she found hand-written notes from Grant in her husband's golf bag. Her sister Kristine Arnold recalls coming home and finding a sobbing Janis parked in her driveway on the night of the discovery. "She was holding a crumpled note," says Arnold. "It said, 'I love you, Amy.' That was the beginning of the end."

At the end of 1994, Vince makes an appearance on Amy's "Christmas at Home with the Stars" segment.

Though Gary claims that Amy had already told him she was no longer in love with him at this point, they are the picture of a happy family for the television program.

Vince would reflect in 2003, in a interview with Larry King Live:

"The friendship caused a lot of animosity in both of our... on both sides of the fence, and rightly so, probably."

1995

Despite the previous year's events, Vince and Janis are featured on Country Weekly's "Country's Happiest Couples" cover for Valentine's Day 1995.

Again, Vince and Amy always deny any physical affair during this time, but in their joint interview with ABC Primetime in 2002, Vince does admit that Amy was on his mind in those early years, even though he was still married.

Gill, who had been married to his wife Janis since 1980, says he kept Grant in the back of his mind "pretty much" always. He consoled himself with the thought that it might be their destiny to be together one day, perhaps when they were in their 60s or 80s. "You don't know how life's going to unfold," he told himself.

Gary would also later say that he and Amy tried counseling in those years, but she gave up on it before he did:

Chapman sought counseling on his own in 1995. Though Grant joined the sessions for "a couple of months," Chapman says marital counseling ended when she refused to continue. (CCM Magazine)

1996

January 1996

Amy talks to a reporter about how her and Vince's friendship has been bolstered by their love for golfing. Amy has taken up the sport after getting to know Vince.

The collaboration helped strengthen their friendship – as well as Grant’s fondness for golf, Gill’s favorite game. Grant’s husband got her a set of golf clubs for Christmas 1993 when she and Gill were recording together, and Gill encouraged her to work at her game. “We (Grant and Gill) had always enjoyed each other’s company and suddenly got to really get to know each other, because we were involved in making videos and had several opportunities to go places and sing the song,” Grant said. “He’s a great guy, just really wonderful to be around. “But he’s got a beastly temper on the golf course! He can go places in the world of anger that you don’t want to follow. It’s kind of nice – he’s such a nice guy, and you see a really horrible side of him, and think, ‘Oh, good, he’s human.’” (The Bradenton Herald)

February 1996

Amy and Vince attend a Belmont basketball game together - no word if either of their spouses also came.

David Lipscomb University basketball fans were ready when city rival Belmont University and Belmont fans arrived for a game. Two of Belmont’s fans are singers Amy Grant and Vince Gill, who both attended the game. One of the posters displayed at the David Lipscomb gym said: “Vince and Amy: Welcome to Our House of Love.” The two singers recently had a hit duet by that name. (North County Times)

March 1996

Vince and Amy are in attendance at many of the same events this month, including Minnie Pearl's funeral in Tennessee and the Nabisco Dinah Shore celebrity golf tournament in Los Angeles. They duet together at a dinner ahead of the tournament.

June 1996

Amy receives the Minnie Pearl Award at the TNN Music City News Country Awards. She does not mention Gary in her acceptance speech but he is in the audience with her and she gives him a kiss as she goes up to the stage.

July 1996

Vince releases the song "Worlds Apart," which may be a hint about the state of his marriage.

You were my best companion Now we lie silent in the dark Why do you and me have to be worlds apart?

August 1996

Amy and Vince are present at many of the same events throughout the fall, including Vince's annual golf tournament The Vinny in Nashville in August.

Amy participates, as does Vince's wife, Janis. Amy is pictured in the same photo as Vince's daughter, Jenny, in The Tennessean's report about the event.

September 1996

The Sweethearts of the Rodeo release a new album, "Beautiful Lies," which features a song written by Janis Gill called "I Know Who You Are." The lyrics seem to be pointed at Amy:

I've seen you fly about And I have heard you sing You seem so spiritual When you are on the wing He thinks your pretty eyes Shine brighter than the stars He doesn't know who you really are

You couldn't be an angel Descended from above For angels never tear apart What God has yoked as one Don't you know the world has had its fill of ones like you So fly away like God would want you to

October 1996

Amy and Vince pose at the VH1 Fairway To Heaven Golf Tourney for celebrities at the Las Vegas Country Club on October 7.

The next weekend, they are back in Nashville where she participates in the Mini-Vinny, Vince's golf tournament for kids.

November 1996

Amy and Gary participate in Vince's annual basketball benefit at Belmont University in Nashville.

Pictured above: I am 99% sure this is Amy with Vince at the basketball game.

December 1996

Tabloids such as Star Magazine in December will print various stories of rumors about Vince and Amy during these years. One such story reportedly printed in Star is relayed by a commenter on a Usenet newsgroup in December 1996. According to the poster, the story:

"insinuates that Amy and Gary and Vince Gill and his wife are all having marital problems and Amy and Gill are 'crying on each other's shoulders' and that her relationship with Gill 'is an issue' when the Chapmans talk to their counselor."

But in contrasting news, Country Weekly reports in the December 10, 1996, issue that Vince and Janis are happily married and just returned from a vacation in Hawaii.

As usual, Vince along with Gary are performers at Amy's Tennessee Christmas event, which this year takes place at the new Nashville Arena.

1997

April 1997

Amy performs at a Billy Graham crusade in San Antonio, which is held April 3-6, 1997. She has shared the story more than once about how, feeling like she needed to be honest with Billy about her personal life, she sat down to confide in him.

In an October 2023 podcast, Amy gets pretty specific about what was going on in her life at that time:

"I was married, I had three children, I had fallen in love with a married man, and I already had a difficult marriage. And I felt myself just saying, 'I don’t know where I’m going to wind up, but I think I’m incapable of doing what I have been doing anymore.' "And I couldn’t walk on that stage with the man who held the trust of the whole world. I just said, 'I know I’ve been a public person of faith, and I still believe in God and I’m headed for a divorce. I need you to know that.' And he sat down and he said, 'I’ve got a bunch of children and there are a couple of them that are taking the long way home.' And he said, 'We’ll all get there. It’s okay.'" (No Small Endeavor podcast)

Pictured above: Vince and Janis at their wedding in 1980.

Divorce is not immediately imminent for Amy after this event, but just two weeks later, Janis Gill does file for divorce from Vince on April 16, 1997, in Nashville.

Janis’ attorney, Rose Palermo, indicated that the couple would try to arrive at a property settlement on their own. The court would either approve or disapprove of the agreement at the time the divorce is granted. “It’s a private, personal matter between Janis and Vince,” Palermo said. “There’s no animosity or hard feelings; it’s just a sad time for their family. We have every belief that it’s going to be resolved amicably and worked out. They just need to get through the process.” (The Tennessean)

More details about the time period leading up to the Gills' divorce will come out two years later. In a November 1999 People Magazine article, Janis’s sister Kristine Arnold says that after Janis found the “love” note from Amy to Vince in 1994, Janis "unsuccessfully begged" Vince to cut ties with Amy.

Gill and Grant maintain that Janis's suspicions were unwarranted and that their relationship remained platonic until their divorces were completed. ... But claims of chastity don't wash with Arnold. "Janis tried desperately to keep that marriage together," says Arnold, 43, who runs a Nashville boutique with Janis. "She did not leave her husband. He left her. She loved Vince deeply, and the whole experience has been horrifying. Just because people are not having a physical relationship doesn't mean they aren't having an affair."

Amy says she doesn't hear of Vince's divorce from him; she learns about it by reading it in the news. The front page of The Tennessean in Nashville on April 17, 1997:

"That's how I found out. I read it in the paper," she said during her 2003 interview with King. Initially, Grant wasn't happy about the announcement. "It wasn't like I went, 'Oh good, he's available to me,' because I wasn't," she added. (Source)

Chapman, who by then was well aware of Grant's infatuation with Gill, glanced at the headline — it was on the front page — and turned to his wife, commenting that he was grateful someone had finally made the first move. "[It was] awful. Awful! Killed me for him," Grant remembers. "How painful to be married to somebody you know is so captivated by another human being." (Source)

Vince would say later that there was no "magic plan, like, 'I'm going to go do this and a couple years later you go do this.'"

"It wasn't even — there wasn't ever even a discussion. You know, I got a divorce. And I said well, I think she'll probably stay. I really did. That's how I felt." (Source)

In a 2002 ABC interview, Amy will admit that staying married to Gary after Vince got divorced was an "agonizing" decision for her.

When Gill's wife filed for divorce in 1997, tabloid newspapers printed articles saying Grant and Gill had had an adulterous affair — something both have consistently denied. Grant remained married and says Gill never asked her to do anything else: "He'd never ever, ever invited me out of my world into his. Ever," she says. Grant's 1997 album Behind the Eyes was filled with dark introspection and songs about unrequited love, including a sad tune called "Cry a River."

Those lyrics include:

Who knew love would come walking through my door Turn a light on somewhere down inside Give me a feeling I'd never had before It was a long wait It was just the wrong time

But I hope you'll hold me now Somewhere within And when you think about What might have been

At the time, she told ABCNEWS that the song was about "a moment when you connect with somebody and all the pistons fire, and then you go, 'Gosh the path of my life does not go down that road'" — but she refused to say who she had in mind. She now admits it was Gill. Gill was now unattached, but Grant made the agonizing decision to stay married, telling herself that being with Gill was not worth everything that she stood to lose by ending her marriage.

Initial reports after the Gill divorce filing will speculate about Amy and Vince, but there are also rumors about Vince possibly dating Bekka Bramlett, a musician he has recently collaborated with. Vince and Bekka will later deny this.

Meanwhile, the Gills' divorce will become a protracted battle over assets, with Vince's friendship with Amy becoming an issue in the fight.

Star Magazine would get ahold of their divorce filing in 1999 and publish the following information:

Gill's lawyer Lou Conner said he believed the other side was using Vince's friendship with Amy Grant as a "hammer" to make accusations that the two were having an affair during Gill's marriage. Janis planned to produce letters allegedly written between Amy and Vince that detailed their feelings toward each other. But Conner said Vince and Amy were simply "soul mates" — and that both were prepared to testify under oath that they never had sex. Grant ... hired her own lawyer for the case, and never gave a deposition.

August 1997

A fan on a Usenet newsgroup claims to have read about Vince and Amy in the National Enquirer in August. The poster comments:

"Well, it was a National Enquirer article back in August. Yeah, I normally never read that stuff, but I was in the checkout line at the grocery store and here was this article about Amy Grant! So, I picked it up. Had photos, witnesses, and even corroboration from personal friends of the two. Apparently Vince is pursuing her, says he's pining for her and in love with her. But, she doesn't want to hurt Gary even though they have grown apart."

September 1997

Another commenter on a Usenet newsgroup reports that they heard a Toronto radio station interview with Amy on September 16. The poster summarizes:

"The DJ (surprisingly!) came right out and asked her if there was any truth to the 'affair' rumour between her and Vince Gill. She didn't seem offended by the question and basically said that her and Vince are 'dear friends' and that his marriage had just broken up so some tabloids must have tried to add one thing with the other. She said that it is not true and added that she is 'happily married to Gary Chapman.' The interviewer asked her view on tabloids and she was diplomatic in saying that she understands the public's interest in famous people, but there should be a line drawn on what is private info and what isn't."

October 1997

On October 9, 1997, an item in the Tucson Citizen refutes all of the gossip about Vince's post-divorce love life:

Speaking of matters of the heart, let’s put to rest all the rumors about Vince Gill. He is not dating Bekka Bramlett. She says they just laugh about all the tabloid stories about them. And he most certainly did not leave his wife, Janis, for Amy Grant! As one Nashville insider told me, “Vince left Janis for Vince.”

Pictured: Vince and Bekka Bramlett in 2011. There was no truth to rumors of them dating at the time of Vince's divorce.

1998

June 1998

Vince and Janis's divorce is finalized this month. According to Star, which obtained the documents:

Janis pocketed more than $9 million — and that sum could reach $15 million as she collects 38 percent of all songwriting royalties Gill receives for songs he wrote during their marriage. She walked away with $6 million in cash, 150 acres of farmland valued at $1.5 million and her $700,000 house. She also kept the barn she built, the dress shop and a Lexus car valued at $35,000. It's one of the highest divorce settlements ever in Nashville.

Fall of 1998

Chely Wright, who revealed in 2010 that she is gay, wrote in her memoir "Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer" that she and Vince connected in the fall of 1998 because they could not be with the people they really wanted to be with.

Vince and I were both MCA artists, so there had been times when we’d be corralled at the same event and we’d end up having easy conversation between us. Both of us were working at the Sound Stage Studio on Music Row in the fall of 1998. We were just down the hall from each other and ended up in the lounge talking and I found him to be charming and quite likable, as does the rest of the world. Vince has been one of Nashville’s most beloved stars for decades, and anyone who ever gets the chance to be around him just falls in love with him. He'd recently been through a very public divorce and was currently being run through the rumor mill about his relationship with Amy Grant, another revered artist in Nashville’s music community. Vince and Amy had been close friends for years, and it was highly speculated that they were in love. I remember thinking if Vince and Amy were in love, it made sense to me. Vince and I began spending private time together after our studio chats. We had a lot in common, and in the years after our relationship I realized that we shared one bonding similarity – we were both lonely for, and in love with, someone else. At that time neither one of us was able to be with our one true love, so we allowed ourselves to find comfort in each other. Early in my relationship with Vince, I understood that his heart would never belong to me. To some degree, that was a relief because it assured me that I wouldn't end up hurting him. Amy knew that Vince and I were spending a lot of our time together, but when I'd see her, she was always kind to me anyway.

Pictured above: Chely Wright with Vince, side stage at the Grand Ole Opry in December 1997.

Apparently at the same time, Amy and Gary's marriage has reached a breaking point, and she can no longer hold on any longer.

"I just felt like I was very lost; I felt hopeless and I think that I was just trying to find a way out." (Source)

“It had been rocky from the get-go. I’d been holding steady for 15 years in something that was not easy to hold steady.” (Source)

Gary also agrees to let it go - he really has no choice. According to Gary's 2000 interview with CCM Magazine:

By August of 1998, when Grant said she believed herself to be "released from the marriage," Chapman had come to the conclusion that he could do no more. "For five years after I was told that I was no longer loved and that she wanted out of the marriage, I refused that because of the kids.” … “I went to her and said, ‘I know of at least two times in the past three months, that I have literally on my knees begged you not to leave. You need to know that I’m not going to do that anymore.’"

According to Gary’s CCM interview, he and Amy “sought professional mediation for the divorce in September 1998.”

November 1998

Various newspapers report in early November that Amy and Gary are splitting, though they have not made any public comment. These reports appear to spark from a recent story in Star Magazine — a story that will end up being true.

Amy Grant’s going single Singer Amy Grant, 37, and husband Gary Chapman, 41, are pulling the plug on their 16-year marriage. They have three kids, ages 11 to 6. She reportedly has turned to old friend Vince Gill for solace. Country singer Gill ended his 17-year marriage last year.

December 1998

According to Gary, he and Amy tell their children of their decision to separate in late December.

They officially announce their split with a press release on December 30, 1998.

One of Nashville’s most prominent couples is separating. Amy Grant and Gary Chapman officially announced their separation yesterday in a short statement. “Gary Chapman and Amy Grant regretfully announce their separation after 16 years of marriage,” they said in a two-sentence press release on letterhead from their management company, Blanton/Harrell Entertainment. “They both ask for your prayers at this sad time and hope that you would respect their privacy.” (The Tennessean)

Part 2

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ilookedintoit · 15 days

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When Vince Met Amy: Part 2

Once Amy Grant split from Gary Chapman at the end of 1998, it was only a matter of time before she and Vince Gill were going to enter into an official and public relationship.

This is a delicate transition that they had to know was always going to raise eyebrows and open mouths; even though Vince had split from his wife two years earlier, everyone was doing the math based on the years of rumors about Vince and Amy's close relationship.

The ensuing months include lots of judgment from the Christian community for Amy, and several contentious interviews from her now ex-husband who insists that things were just fine in their lives, until Vince came along.

1999

February 1999

Amy moves out of Riverstone Farm that she shared with Gary, which had been the site of many family photos and special programs captured on film during Amy's career. She gets another house nearby in Nashville.

March 1999

Three months after the separation announcement, Amy files for divorce, citing "irreconcilable differences."

The Tennessean prints a Q&A with this commentary on March 21:

They won’t say why, but she initiated the split after three kids and 16 years of marriage; he is openly suffering. Singer-songwriter Chapman, 41, has hosted Prime Time Country for 2 ½ years and has no plans to give it up. But Grant, 38, always overshadowed him, and her good friendship with Vince Gill probably didn’t help.

June 1999

Amy and Gary’s divorce is final.

July 1999

Vince wears an Amy T-shirt at his concert on July 31, which garners a mention in The Tennessean the next day:

At last night’s Vince Gill concert, people in the crowd were wondering who that woman on Vince’s T-shirt was. Answer: Longtime friend Amy Grant. “It was the first T-shirt he pulled out of his drawer,” a Vince staffer said.

October 1999

On October 1, The Atlanta Constitution prints a Q&A with Vince, who declines to give a clear answer when asked about the rumors swirling around him and Amy.

Q: You recently went through a very public divorce and became the center of a lot of tabloid gossip linking you with various people. This is tough to bring up, but on the Internet, there are 53 chat sites that come up when you type in “Vince Gill/Amy Grant.” A: Is that all? [Laughs] What I think happens with all this is, people tend to think the worst of people. If anything is offensive to me, that is. They take the lowest common denominator and go to that. The ins and outs of friendship are mine. They are not for the whole world to try to figure out. Whether it’s Amy or whoever, I have a right to be friends with anybody I want to, and I don’t have to defend or deny that. I’ve never acknowledged the tabloid stuff. None of it. That’s the neat thing about doing an interview. I can either answer the questions or not. Q: How’s life in your 40s? A: I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

A week later, on October 9, 1999, Amy confirms that she and Vince are in a relationship, during a front-page profile story in The Tennessean.

Here are some excerpts:

On the day of the interview, Grant says she has plans to take a bike trip with Gill on the Natchez Trace Parkway. The two have eaten together recently at a Waffle House – at Gill’s invitation. Last Sunday they went to church. They’ve been writing a song together, “Look What Love’s Revealing.” But they are not secretly married, she states emphatically, answering one of the latest rumors to circulate through town about them. The two singer-songwriters have been fast friends since they first met in 1993, when Grant accepted Gill’s invitation to appear with him on a Christmas special in Tulsa, in his native Oklahoma. “We got along like two peas in a pod and made no bones about it,” she says. As their friendship grew and deepened, however, others found bones to pick. “A lot of disparaging things were said about my very public friendship with Vince,” Grant acknowledges. “One of the reasons that the friendship was so public was because it never occurred to me to hide it. I would hear rumors about, ‘You guys were seen doing this, you guys were seen doing that.’ I just said, ‘Not true.’” Conscientiously, they honored the constraints of their commitments, Grant says.

She knows people will speculate that her relationship with Gill caused the breakup of her marriage, Grant says, but the circumstances were multilayered and complicated. She will concede that the friendship may have hastened what might have been inevitable anyway.

It feels silly, Grant says, for a 38-year-old and a 42-year-old man with professional and domestic responsibilities to say they’re dating, though some of the things they’ve done, like the hockey game, would qualify. “I just want to enjoy his company,” she says. “Is that the kind of thing that the natural conclusion is that eventually these two people will wind up together and grow old together? I hope so. But do I understand the timetable for that? No.” Recently, Gill and Grant were grilling hamburgers for a gathering put together by her daughter, fourth-grader Millie. “One of them asked, ‘Is he your boyfriend?’” Grant recalls, and she felt ready to let down her guard a little. “To have tried to walk the line of propriety for so long, I kinda took a breath and said, ‘He is, honey. Yeah.’”

Over the weekend of October 15-16, 1999, Amy and Vince are pictured holding hands multiple times at Vince's annual golf tournament.

Special friendship out in the open It looks like Vince Gill and Amy Grant have stepped into the "House of Love" they once crooned about. The singers held hands and smiled at each other Wednesday during Gill's annual charity golf tournament in Oklahoma City. It was the first public outing for the couple since last weekend, when Grant told The Tennessean newspaper in her hometown Nashville that Gill is her boyfriend. Gill, a native Oklahoman and country music star, said he doesn't know what all the fuss is about. "I'm a single man. She's a single woman. Yes, she's my girlfriend." Gill, 42, divorced his wife, Janis, in 1997. In June, Grant, 38, divorced husband Gary Chapman. (The News and Observer)

November 1999

Reaction to news of Amy and Vince's relationship after their divorces unsurprisingly causes a stir in the Christian community. Amy had already been a taboo subject when she went "secular" with her "Heart In Motion" album in 1991. This has pushed things over the edge.

A November 13, 1999, article from Knight Rider News Service, with the headline “Singer pays price for her pain,” discusses how Christian music stores and radio stations around the country have “crossed Grant’s work off their lists.”

A November cover story comes out about Amy and the divorce in CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) Magazine, with the article titled "Judging Amy." Amy expresses her regrets but also defends herself in the interview:

"For people that have [personally] known us and loved us a long time," says Grant, "[the divorce] was not a surprise to anybody. None of this was taken lightly. It was years in the making. Gary and I went to all kinds of — tons of —marriage counseling."

"I'm from a big family. My parents are still together, and my three older sisters are married and still together. I stood up at the front of a packed-out church and made a vow before God about — as best I could — how I would lead my life. And I failed in that. Failure's incredibly humbling."

“Jesus led by compassion. No one is ever changed because of judgment. No one’s ever healed through judgment. “If people say, ‘She was leaning on a man emotionally that she wasn’t married to; she developed a friendship that was inappropriate,’ I want to go, ‘You know, if you’re gonna list my faults, let’s get to the real meat. You ain’t scratched the surface with that stuff. Let’s get real. Humanity is humanity.”

That same month, a new article in People Magazine details the relationship of Amy and Vince, with the comments from Janis Gill's sister, Kristine Arnold. As a refresher, Kristine had this to say about Amy and Vince: "[Janis] loved Vince deeply, and the whole experience has been horrifying. Just because people are not having a physical relationship doesn't mean they aren't having an affair."

Janis does not appear to speak out during this time. The comments from her sister seem to be the only insight into how she might have been feeling about her ex's new relationship.

Also in the People article, claims are made from another source that Amy and Gary had been having trouble for a long time.

According to a family friend, Chapman, 42, a former Nashville Network host, felt overshadowed by his wife almost from the moment they met at a party in 1979. "[Gill] wasn't what broke them up. I'd say it was the final straw. They weren't getting along," says the friend, "and they hadn't been for years."

This apparently angers Gary, and so on November 29, 1999, an article is circulated with some pointed comments from him in response:

Singer/songwriter Gary Chapman wants us to know he’s hurt and dismayed that his ex-wife, Amy Grant, has been portraying their 16-year marriage as troubled long before her involvement with Vince Gill. “That’s not the case at all,” insists Chapman, who candidly reveals, “Our marriage had a rough start, because I had a substance abuse problem… but on Sept. 2, 1986, I stopped - and through the ensuing years, we had three gorgeous kids and the world by the tail. So, this notion that our marriage was perpetually on the edge of death is completely erroneous..." Chapman’s responding to an article in this week’s People magazine - which also notes that Grant and Gill have been steadfast in their insistence that their relationship remained platonic until after their respective divorces. But Chapman, whose divorce from Grant was finalized in June, alleges, “Since the beginning of 1994, they had what I would call an inappropriate friendship, which was destructive to our marriage. "My family, friends, and most of the people in Nashville who have at least two brain cells slapping against each other have known for years what has gone on.” Despite everything, he says he and Grant “are still very friendly." “She’s moving on, and so am I.”

Pictured: Vince and Amy on the cover of the November 29, 1999 issue of People Magazine.

December 1999

On December 7, USA Today reports that sales for Amy's Christmas album are steady but that she is still facing a lot of criticism and backlash in other circles:

John Styll, publisher of CCM magazine, which ran an in-depth interview with Grant about her divorce in its November issue, says most readers' letters about her comments have been "less than favorable." "Many people feel she has been disobedient to what the Bible teaches in that she doesn't have biblical grounds for a divorce, such as adultery on the part of her spouse," Styll says. More problematic is the gossip about her relationship with Gill, which swirled around Nashville for years, though Grant says: "Everything public pales by comparison to (the private). The hardest thing about a family breaking up is what a family goes through privately." She does, however, insist that the relationship didn't take on a romantic aspect until after her marriage ended. Nor, she adds, have she and Gill secretly married. "I'm not living some secret life that nobody knows about," she says. "We are seeing each other. No plans. We have been dear friends for a long time." "On one hand, there would be nothing to talk about if I had just met him in March. Because I have known him for years, because we always got along great, because people were churning the rumor mill when there was absolutely nothing to churn the rumor mill about . . . people are going to say whatever they're going to say. And I just go, 'I'm so glad I get to enjoy the company of such a fine man.'"

Gary gives his own interview to The Tennessean, which prints on December 11:

The “irreconcilable differences” cited in the final divorce decree, Chapman believes, boiled down to one thing: “She wanted to end the marriage and I didn’t want to. That’s all. Anything else, God could have worked out if we had allowed him to.”

But he also says in a story with USA Today that publishes on December 10 that he wants both he and Amy to stop talking to the media:

Gary Chapman says he's tired of ex-wife Amy Grant's interviews about the collapse of their marriage and her current relationship with Vince Gill. "I've moved from embarrassment to just being annoyed," the singer/songwriter says. "I just want it all to go away. If I'm able to let it go, everybody else should, too." Chapman says he talked to his ex-wife Wednesday and in effect declared a ceasefire. "She thought it was a great idea to not say any more about our marriage and what went wrong. She is a very kind person at her core, and I can't imagine she would want to perpetuate these stories any more than I do."

Pictured above: Vince kisses Amy on the golf course in January 2000.

2000

In early January, CCM Magazine prints a wide-ranging interview with Gary about the divorce. This is presumably from conversations that took place before Gary and Amy's media "ceasefire."

Referencing Amy’s relationship with Vince, Gary says he "chose to believe [Grant]" when she told him that the relationship with Gill was not sexual, the article states.

The writer notes Amy's comment that her relationship with Vince may have hastened the end of her marriage, but the end result of divorce was always inevitable with or without his involvement.

Chapman disagrees, indicating that he believes the relationship was the primary cause of the divorce. "I am torn between relying on the mathematical ability of intelligent people and the stark reality that a lot of people just don’t want to believe the obvious."

February 2000

Gary Chapman says he and Amy have made amends:

"Time is a wonderful thing. We actually get along really well now."

Likely helping this new view of friendship? In mid-February, Gary announces his engagement to his girlfriend of one year.

Gary gathered his kids, his nanny and his girlfriend, Jennifer Pittman, 30, in a room and handed Jennifer a card. On the outside: A picture of Gary and kids. On the inside, the caption reads: “Will you marry us?” (The Tennessean)

March 2000

On March 3, the news breaks that Vince and Amy are also engaged.

Yes, the date is set. Amy Grant and Vince Gill, Nashville’s highest-profile couple as of late, will get married March 10 in a small ceremony in Williamson County. Friends this week began getting invitations to the larger reception that follows the ceremony. (The Tennessean)

"I can confirm that they are getting married," said Erin Morris, Gill's spokeswoman. "Other than that, they'd like to protect their privacy." (Associated Press)

On March 10, 2000, Vince and Amy get married.

According to The Tennessean, the nuptials are private and take place outdoors in front of 75 guests, mostly relatives. Amy is barefoot and wears flowers in her hair for the ceremony, and they exchange vows they've written themselves.

A much, much larger reception is held afterward at the West End Avenue area home that Amy has been renting, with about 500 people in attendance including Music Row executives, producers, and songwriters.

Amy would admit that it wasn't all sunshine and happiness to start, and they had to help their children through the transition.

"In our wedding pictures, all of the children are grim-faced and understandably so, because these were not their choices," says Amy. "But from the start, Vince and I promised to love each other well, and in any home, blended or not, if the man and wife are loving each other well, you have a much better chance of parenting well. Vince's love has empowered me to be a better mom." (Good Housekeeping, 2008)

The newlyweds returned from a honeymoon in Beaver Creek, Colorado, only to embark on a spring-break trip to hell in Hawaii with Grant's children — Matt, Millie, and Sarah, who were 12, 10, and 7 — all of whom resented the new man in Mommy's life. "You make me sick. Put a shirt on," Millie chastised Gill when he walked around bare-chested. Matt played his mom's protector, warning Gill: "If you ever hurt my mother, I'm going to kill you." Gill remained patient, content to be Grant's husband — not an authority figure to her kids. Time passed, and "I hate you" and "I don't choose you" eventually evolved into acceptance. "All those things had been said, so when it finally turned to tolerance, respect, and, best-case scenario, love — oh, that was quite a journey," says Grant. "It's like a broken bone that grows stronger if it heals properly." (Source)

Where Are They Now?

Gary Chapman married Jennifer Pittman in July 2000, but they divorced in 2007. He was arrested for a charge of driving under the influence in Spetember 2006, and marijuana was found in his possession, according to reports.

He married his third wife, Cassie in 2008, and they adopted a daughter together in 2014.

Janis Gill married Roy Cummins, a horse trainer, in October 2000, but it appears she filed for divorce from him in 2006.

Vince and Amy had a daughter, Corrina, in March 2001, to complete their blended family of five children.

Over the ensuing years, they have remained strong and been able to look back over all they have endured as they show a united front.

2010

Ahead of their 10-year wedding anniversary they cover Good Housekeeping.

"I'm just grateful [to spend time with her]," he says. Ten years into their marriage, he still longs to be around her and admits he feels adrift when they're apart, playing concerts out of town. "We talk several times a day," says Gill. "I want to. I find myself going, I don't want to call her too much, or she'll think I'm nuts. But it's when I feel safest, when I'm talking to her."

2011

Vince and Amy write the song, "True Love," together, which sums up their view of their relationship.

No one ever told me During all those tears I cried That one day you would hold me I just kept hoping inside

True love was waiting True love would find me in time True love was waiting Your love would finally be mine

And I can't erase these lines on my face But I'd turn back time if I could But all the years wanting, the desperate longing, Are maybe what makes this so good

In an interview with AARP Magazine in 2011, they reflect on growing older together.

Grant admits to a recent oh-no-I'm-getting-old! meltdown in the bathtub. "Having that baby at 40 really shot my stomach, and I was just having a good cry about it," she says. "Vince came in, and I was drooling and snot was coming out, and I said, 'Women get invisible.' And he said, 'I love you, and you're more beautiful now than you were when I first met you. I can't wait to see what you look like with a head full of gray hair.' And he meant it."

They also reiterate that they did not cheat on their spouses, even though they had fallen for each other.

There was no cheating, Gill insists, and neither spoke to the other about leaving their spouse. "We were both married, and though we were crazy about each other, we thought, 'Well, that's not our life.'" Friends sensed the attraction, found it painful to watch the two dancing around each other, and offered advice. "The hard truth was that we never thought for a minute that we would wind up together," says Gill.

2019

Twenty years after her divorce, Amy reflects on the healing that has happened and marvels at how far their family has come.

Grant speaks like a tiger from the other side — and it does seem like her life, in some vital ways, has come full circle. She describes setting up a pre-wedding gathering for her daughter. Grant was adjusting the sound system at her daughter’s instruction. “I looked over and saw my ex-husband, Gary Chapman, talking to my husband Vince,” she says, “and the sound system components were on a bench that people are sitting on, and I’m hopping over and trying to fix it. Vince leaned over to Gary and said: ‘Have you seen this movie before? Amy’s over there spinning the plates.’” In the commotion, she saw the two of them smiling over at her. “This has taken 20 years,” she says, “and I knew that’s where we all wanted to get. It is possible to reconcile over irreconcilable lines.” (Source)

Amy: “When Millie’s father Gary responded to the question ‘Who presents this bride?’ with the words ‘We all do!’ he captured the joy and healing of our big blended family." (Source)

2020

Amy undergoes open heart surgery in June 2020 after discovering a previously undetected heart defect she has had since birth.

2021

Vince wins his 22nd Grammy Award for a song he wrote about his wife - "When My Amy Prays."

That's when I feel grace When my Amy prays

She's got my back and she don't judge me She gives my heart some time to change Even at my worst I know she loves me She's my shelter from the rain

2022

In addition to Gary and Amy, Janis and Vince & Amy also appear to be on good terms, coming together for Vince and Janis's daughter, Jenny, and her children at various events.

Just two years after her open heart surgery, Amy has a bicycle accident in July 2022 that causes a traumatic brain injury and results in some memory loss.

Due to the accident and her recovery, she has to miss the CMT Giants program dedicated to Vince that takes place in September 2022.

Vince walks the carpet with his daughters, Jenny and Corrina, and Amy pre-records a message for him.

"She's doing great," he said. "She's pretty torn up that she couldn’t be here tonight but with her accident and all of that, they kind of deemed that the best thing for her to do is just be still." (Source)

In December 2022, Vince debuts yet another love song for Amy called "Her Heart."

"This woman right here is an amazing inspiration. Songs about her, they seem so effortless. All you have to do is tell the truth."

She wears my ring And shares my name Says I'm her best friend The kind of love I was dreaming of It's eternal and has no end

I wish the world had her heart Her gentle way to be A ray of light in a sea of darkness So innocent and free

2023

Asked in October 2023 what it means to be married to Vince, Amy answers:

"He accepts me right where I am, for who I am. I feel like I have felt the kindness and unconditional love that we express about God, I have felt it in a way through him that I've never experienced through anybody else. "He is imperfect as am I, we know how to trigger each other to the point where you think a rocket's going to launch - but he is a man of integrity and he's got a great sense of humor. Almost every morning the first thing he tries to do is make me smile." (No Small Endeavor podcast)

2024

What started 30 years ago in 1993, a connection through a Christmas program, is a tradition that endures. Tickets recently went on sale for their annual holiday show set for November and December 2024 at The Ryman Auditorium.

#vince gill #amy grant

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