#an actor or a producer or an author is not my equal in the same way and i don't want them looking at my embarassing emotional games | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

absolutebl · 2 years

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Wait a minute... I’ve seen 'em before?

BL Actor Guest Cameos!

I’m choosing only leads or mains or icons showing up in other shows.

A Man Who Defies the Wold of BL 2 feat Izuka Kenta from the Pornographer (AKA the Novelist) series - I love this one because he’s an iconic character in the Novelist, a college kid seduced and gaslit by an older man, where as in ABL2 he plays the opposite, a seductive older man who messes around with the heart of a younger one. Japan is, as usual, being very trixy. (He ALSO shows up in Ameiro Paradox)

Kieta Hatsukoi AKA My Love Mix-Up! feat Shirasu Jin from Life Love On The Line - Japan being cheeky again by putting an actor who perviously played a character who could not come to terms with his sexuality, having a real hard time coming to terms with someone else’s sexuality this time around.

Secret Crush on You feat Saint from Love By Chance & Why R U? (Thailand) - yes he’s got a producer credit, it was still fun to see him pop in and smile.

Cutie Pie feat BounPrem from Until We Meet Again (+others) - they came, they shilled for marriage equality in Thailand, they conquered.

What’s Zabb Man feat Bas from 2 Moons (+others) - yes, Thailand’s Star Hunter studio does a lot of crossovers, but I found this one particularly amusing.

SOTUS S feat Gun (for OffGun) at the time from Puppy Honey (Thailand) - it was just amusing to see OffGun show up in their nascent form.

Plus and Minus feat Akihiro Kawai & Lance Chiu from See You After Quarantine? (Taiwan) - they even snuck in the name Haru (the fake name that started the romance in SYAQ) but they clearly aren’t playing the same characters.

Plus and Minus feat Arron Lai & Hank Wang from Be Loved in House I Do (Taiwan) - ostensibly playing different characters but only JUST.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding feat Lee Sang from Wish You (Korea) - this was really cheeky since he was previously paired with the same lead, in other words this was a cameo of “the other man”.

Ocean Likes Me feat Park Bum Jun from Behind Cut (Korea) just looking gorgeous in the background of a crowd scene. I mean, I get it, why not?

Mark from Bite Me and Love By Chance popping in to play an actor member of the cat tribe in Meow Ears Up, he also showed up in love

Mechanics as the momentary love interest for Nuea we all actually wanted to see happen.

About Youth feat Wilson Liu from HIStory 3: MODC & HIStory 4 as a senior student speaking English.

Choco Milk Shake feat Yeon Seung Ho from Long Time No See (Wild Dog) as the one good ex-boyfriend.

I dithered over Mean and Prem in The Yearbook, but then decided not to bother. Kinda my general feelings about that show.

And...

BL Character Crossover Cameos!

Since characters are IP this is a much more dangerous territory. Often you’ll notice they aren’t called by name, or the name is spelled differently than the original. But we ALL KNOW what’s going on here.

Why R U? feat TeeFuse, the main characters from Make it Right (Thailand).

Why R U? feat TharnType, the main characters from TharnType (Thailand).

Korea also got in on the game and had MaxNat (whose couple originated in WRU?) appear in their remake of Why R U? as a background couple. Very clever.

Tan & Dr Bun the leads from Manner of Death (MaxTul) in Triage the series (Thailand) - this is a full on character couple cross over, named (and married) and authorized, and rare to see. It’s because the same author is responsible for both source y-novels.

HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count feat Cheng Qing from HIStory Stay Away From Me (Taiwan) - he’s not named, but he is referred to as an idol and he alludes to his secret relationship so I think we can assume he’s the same character.

The side dishes from HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count (they got engaged) show up and get married in HIStory 4 Close To You. Which was cute. It’s a bit more than a cameo spanning several episodes, but it was very fun to see. And they play the same characters.

Be Loved in House I Do feat Hao Ting from HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count (Taiwan) - I think we can assume from the advice he gives that this is the same character on the, shall we call it, Taiwanese timeline as opposed to...

My personal favorite, Hao Ting & Xi Gu (in an alternate timeline and billed only as Taiwanese tourists) from HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count (Taiwan) showing up at the end of Life Love On The Line (Japan) in the only known country cross over of BL characters. I love the irony of this, since apparently took Japan (NOTORIOUS for it’s unhappy and dark BL endings) to give these two an actual happy ever after.

For once, we all preferred the Japanese ending.

And then they did it AGAIN in Plus & Minus.

And AGAIN in Kisseki: Dear to Me!

Honestly it feels like, sometimes, Taiwan is constantly trying to apologize for HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count with all these cameos, WHICH THEY SHOULD.

In Thailand it’s director Cheewin who likes to do this a lot. He’s also very cheeky in Y-Destiny doing a love triangle (sort of) between YoonLay (YYY’s KnottPunn) and PerthLay (My Engineer’s RamKing) as one of the story arcs - making his pair (from YYY) the “winners.”

He got ahead of himself by featuring the main couples for Middleman’s Love in Cutie Pie but then JimmyTommy pulled out. So this is a very brief look at a series that never was (in this form?) crossing over.

Like faux crossover.

However, TutorYim, also from Cutie Pie, show up very briefly in Jun & Jun as friends of Simon for no apparent reason.

When Korea goes all on of a trope they really, the same year all their crossover couples started to appear (2023) they also had Love Class original couple show up in Love Class 2.

Honorable mention to Ae’s Tote from Thai BL Love By Chance getting a cameo appearance in Taiwanese BL About Youth.

(source)

post dated Aug 2023, not responsible for studios being cheeky after this date

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j-ellyfish · 7 months

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I'm curious. Because personally, while I did make and share an AI Cover for Prussia, I have been questioning the legitimacy of this practice ... I have made several covers, actually, but I've been reluctant to share them because yes, the ethical dilemma has been whispering to the back of my mind. I have even thought of a little voiceover experiment, but besides it being very time consuming for me (the software to separate voice from bg music/noise is not even compatible with my pc lol), I have been kind of tormented by the potential consequences.

And I've been wondering about Hetaloid/UTAU as well. While at first glance UTAU covers (despite the name, most Hetaloid stuff is actually made with UTAU) may seem not too different of a practice than AI covers, thinking more in depth about it, I believe there's a difference in craftsmanship.

AI covers are 80% self-made. Yes, they need human input (you have to build a voicebank, in case no one else did it for you), but it is minimal. Once a voice data has been uploaded, AI will do the rest: it will train itself, then you simply tell it which song you want the voice to "sing" (replace og vocals with selected voice model). And then, if you're unlucky, you have to make some editing to make it sound smoother and cut away the parts where AI couldn't tell music and voice apart effectively. It is extremely easy.

On the other hand, UTAU needs a lot more human assistance. If you don't have a voicebank ready to use, you have to manually pick each syllable, each sound the voice produces in order for the software to replace og vocals (which exist in specific formats and aren't just a youtube link or .wav file to slap into a typing bar) with them, and these covers require a lot of skill to actually sound good. And yet, even when they're spotless, they still have the iconic robotic feel to them. The robotic vibe is there to remind you all that this isn't real, this is something someone put hours if not days of their time into, to make it possible.

In this sense, isn't UTAU/Hetaloid more similar to a fanart than AI? It does make use of content the author doesn't directly own (characters and ideas for artists, voices in the other case), but that metallic feel in the voices always remind us this is a derivative work and not an attempt at replacing the source.

I am aware that voice actors typically aren't too fond of UTAU/Vocaloid voicebanks either when taken without their consent, but this was more a reflection on the nature of AI versus voice synthesizers and whether or not you believe they should be considered the same thing/equally dangerous and potentially harmful to the VAs or not.

#hetalia #ary spoke #hetalia polls

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itsjackgilbert · 1 year

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He was—as they call everyone who has killed themselves preparing in every conceivable way for what may be their one and only shot at the only job they imagine—a natural.

by James L. Brooks

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thisbluespirit · 2 years

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The Queen and the Welshman

I read Rosemary Anne Sisson’s novelisation of this earlier in the year & planned to investigate the theatre & TV versions as best as I could and see what I could put together for history fandom here on tumblr (because it seems to still be the only filmed version of the story of Catherine de Valois and Owen Tudor). Then I kept discovering slightly different versions (it was restaged! it went on tour! there was also a radio play version!), so it got a little more complicated, but anyhooo, here are my findings about the original theatre play that started it all!

It was Sisson’s first play and her big break, and something she seems to have returned to several times over the years, hence all the different versions, but the original was performed by the London Club Theatre Group in August 1957 for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

It was an odd success story, as the piece was distinctly old-fashioned for the era (”history in watercolour” as one of the critics put it), but it was a hit with Festival audiences - it fared better than most of the main Festival pieces that year - and as a result launched Rosemary Anne Sisson’s career. She was a Cambridge graduate, who had previously lectured for a US University, and had written the play after being inspired by Shakespeare’s history plays to find out what happened next to Catherine de Valois. She would go on to write for many period dramas, familiar to fandom here, including The Six Wives of Henry VIII, Elizabeth R, and The Shadow of the Tower.

It also provided a break for its leading man - Owen Tudor was played by Edward Woodward, later to find fame as Callan and The Equalizer. (The cast seems to have been pretty good, and included a young Frank Finlay as the gaoler.)

It’s hard to find many details about the story of the play, but as it includes the same original characters as her later novelised version, it’s probably safe to assume that it follows a similar path - and reviews would seem to back up that impression. (The book starts in Henry V’s wars, where Owen meets fellow soldier Villiers, later to be an embittered enemy of his, and takes a French hostage, Rainault - a rather d’Artagnan-esque Gascon noble - who remains with him, due to his uncle finding it more convenient to let his ransom go unpaid, and who eventually inadvertently betrays Owen and Katherine, plus Katherine’s maid in waiting, Margaret (who has an affair with Rainault). John of Bedford and Humphrey of Gloucester are also two major roles, as the authorities who will come down hard on the pair if they uncover their romance (Bedford reluctantly, Gloucester happily).

Critics found the play well-written, with a sensitivity to the period, “quiet sympathy and no attempt to force.” They were also taken with the historical romance it was centred around, which most of its audience had been unaware of previously. It was low-key, or perhaps a tad too “underdramatic” and one critic noted one weak scene, but it was “fastidiously” produced, well-played, with no cod-historical nonsense, and drew in and pleased its audiences; attracting attention to a promising new female playwright (the only woman to have written a play for that year’s Festival) and an actor to watch in its Owen Tudor.

[From Age for Stock; image of Hilary Liddell as Katherine de Valois.]

Hilary Liddell, who played Queen Katherine, continued to work until at least 1979, and was married to actor Bernard Hepton. She and Edward Woodward (as part of the London Club Theatre Group responsible for the production) had also acted opposite each other previously in another of the Group’s productions, The Telescope.

[Image from Shutterstock, of Edward Woodward and Hilary Liddell in The Telescope.]

Critics concluded it was a “gracious and beautifully acted play” and praised Edward Woodward especially. The Evening News saw Owen’s farewell to Katherine towards the end of the play as the highlight of the evening:

"Very occasionally in the theatre an actor achieves by a single gesture an effect that wings straight to the heart of an audience. Mr Woodward did so last night when, as he held the Queen in his arms for the last time, he gave her a long, slow, silent smile in which affection and brave confidence perfectly blended. It was a magic moment".

[Image taken from a scan of his music album online labelled “1957 1st ‘break’ as ‘Owen Tudor’ in ‘The Queen and The Welshman’, Lyric Theatre Hammersmith”.]

The play then transferred to the Hammersmith Lyric Theatre that autumn (with the same cast) - and after that, it went on tour, was broadcast on radio, and made into at least two TV plays, and a novel, so had a long afterlife.

Rosemary Anne Sisson evidently never forgot this first version, or its leading man. When she turned the play into a novel twenty years later, she dedicated it to Edward Woodward:

“... who long ago helped me to create Owen Tudor, and since then to prove, in twenty years of friendship, that human love and trust exist and endure, and give some meaning to life.”

sources: frankfinlay.net (Evening News & The Scotsman clippings); The Stage, The Birmingham Daily Post, Birmingham Weekly Post (BNA); IMDB (Hilary Liddell info.)

#the queen and the welshman #rosemary anne sisson #catherine de valois #owen tudor #catherine de valois x owen tudor #edward woodward #hilary liddell #frank finlay #british newspaper archive #newspapers #1950s #theatre #edinburgh festival #period drama #tudors

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denimbex1986 · 25 days

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'Tom Ripley is a charming man, but above all he is a crook. In New York in 1961, one of his greatest talents was remaining elusive. Hence his surprise when a detective tracks him down and puts him in contact with a rich industrialist. The latter, wrongly taking Tom for a friend of his son Dickie, asks him to join his son in Italy and bring him back home. Except that, there, Tom not only takes a liking to la dolce vita , he takes a liking to Dickie, or rather to Dickie's life. Based on the brilliant novel The Talented Mr. Ripley , by the equally brilliant Patricia Highsmith, the Ripley series comes to Netflix on April 4 under the imprimatur of Steven Zaillian, Oscar-winning screenwriter for Schindler's List ( Schindler's List ). Le Devoir spoke to him exclusively.

You should know that the eight episodes of one hour each were created, produced, written and directed by Zaillian. Knowing this, we are allowed to conclude that the character imagined by Highsmith exerted a certain fascination on him.

“Yes, wearing all these hats, on a production of this magnitude, involves an enormous investment of time – several years –, energy and determination; you have to be passionate about the equipment,” opines Steven Zaillian, joined by videoconference.

“I discovered this novel many years, decades ago. When the opportunity presented itself to make a series, I wanted to take the opportunity to present the character as I had perceived him at the time. Despite the numerous adaptations – there are around ten actors who have played Ripley over the years – I had never found my vision of the character on screen. »

What is Tom Ripley like? In fact, he can be given a myriad of “eur” qualifiers: liar, thief, fraudster, manipulator, calculator, usurper… not to mention killer.

“At the same time, Tom Ripley has personality traits that we all have, to some extent. Obviously, in his case, it's exacerbated. But this means that he is never a one-dimensional monster: he has at his core a humanity with which we can identify at times, and again, to a certain extent. This is Highsmith's genius: to manage to place us in a relationship of identification with this criminal. This is what I wanted to reproduce in the series. »

A lethal desire

In this case, Steven Zaillian touches on a fundamental fact in relation to the novel and its author. Indeed, in the book Patricia Highsmith: Her Diaries and Notebooks – 1941-1995 , the main subject writes in 1954, while she is immersed in the writing of what will become the first of five novels starring Tom Ripley:

“If I feel pity for mankind, it is pity for the mentally ill and criminals. [That's why they will always be the best characters in everything I write.] For normality and mediocrity? I'm not needed. It bores me. »

Precisely, Tom Ripley is extraordinary and aspires to escape from his mediocre condition. Hence his desire – lethal – to reinvent himself as someone else. Someone prettier, more cultured, richer than him: Dickie.

In this regard, if there is certainly homoeroticism in the character, Ripley is first and foremost in love with himself, or, finally, with who he intends to become.

You should also know that, during the conception of The Talented Mr. Ripley , Patricia Highsmith was in heartbreak, her partner having just left her in order to get back together with her ex. However, one of the main subplots of the novel (and the series) is the love story between Dickie and Madge.

Insanely jealous of the second, Tom sneakily contrives to destroy the couple...

Shades of dark gray

In short, beneath a harmless exterior, Highsmith's antihero hides a narcissistic and psychopathic nature. No pun intended, many actors would kill for such a role.

This explains this, big names have played Tom Ripley in the cinema: Alain Delon in Plein soleil , by René Clément, Dennis Hopper in The American Friend , by Wim Wenders, Matt Damon in The Talented Mr. Ripley ( The Talented Mr. Ripley ), by Anthony Minghella, John Malkovich in Ripley 's Game , by Liliana Cavani…

Still crowned by his poignant performance in All of Us Strangers ( Without Ever Knowing Us ), by Andrew Haigh, Andrew Scott is the leading figure in this new adaptation.

“Like all great characters, Ripley can be reimagined, and therefore reinterpreted, endlessly: like Hamlet,” notes Steven Zaillian.

“So all that matters is finding the best possible actor to play him. Ripley is often alone, so we spend a lot of time just with him: you need an actor who can communicate what the character is thinking without the aid of dialogue. I wasn't necessarily looking for the actor closest to the physical description or age of the character, but someone capable of captivating for eight hours. »

Which Andrew Scott, alias Moriarty in the Sherlock series and “ sexy priest ” in the Fleabag series , has no difficulty in accomplishing. With his customary talent, the actor makes this score his own, all in shades of dark gray.

Film noir atmosphere

Moreover, speaking of color, or rather lack of color, Ripley was shot entirely in black and white with the help of cinematographer Robert Elswit, winner of an Oscar for There Will Be Blood. some blood ).

“I opted for black and white because it’s magnificent,” says Steven Zaillian, “but above all because it’s a very dark story. I wanted a film noir atmosphere. »

Coming from the pen of Patricia Highsmith, the humor is also dark, and perfectly preserved by Steven Zaillian. We can discern its trace each time an unforeseen event thwarts the protagonist's plans. Protagonist who, paradoxically, is at his best when fate persists...

Referring to the novelist's diaries for the period in question, we find a possible source for this grating dichotomy:

“The sad truth is that art thrives on unhappiness. It's one thing to be vaguely aware of it at 17, it's another to experience it, between tragedy and ecstasy, in your thirties. »

This says a lot about Patricia Highsmith's state of mind while she was creating Tom Ripley... and this explains the story's dark and haunting content. Which obviously Steven Zaillian understood. Thus, Ripley's odyssey will take him from New York to Venice, via Rome and Paris. Prepare to be insidiously seduced.

The Ripley series appears on Netflix on April 4.

CREATING THE “RIPLEY” UNIVERSE

Besides actor Andrew Scott, the other star of the Ripley series is the artistic direction. David Gropman, collaborator notably on Chocolat and Doubt ( Doubt ), and nominated for an Oscar for Cider House Rules ( God's Work, the Devil's Part ) and Life of Pi ( The Story of Pi ), is responsible. We spoke to him too. Selected words.

About black and white:

“It was my first black-and-white project in my [over 40-year] career, and I was thrilled. I always do intense research, but for a series like this, it was like preparing five or six films. Fortunately, I am naturally drawn to black and white photography. And since Ripley is set in 1961, the vast majority of the visual references I went for were black and white. In developing the real as well as constructed sets, I had to ensure that everything came out in the right shades [of gray], that each element stood out adequately. It's not at all like shooting in color. I had also just finished another series also set in Rome, so I already had ideas of potential locations. As for the studio component, we had seven entire sets where different sets were set up. »

Regarding the increasing luxury accessed by the protagonist:

“It was very exciting to echo the character's rise in visual terms. We start in a dingy room in New York and end in a spectacular palazzo in Venice. In the meantime, there is Dickie's villa, the Excelsior in Rome... Recreating the splendor of one of the suites of this famous hotel was a great challenge. »

Regarding all those stairs that Tom Ripley has to go up, down, then up again as part of his “ascent”, precisely:

“It’s a real motif in the series. It's very symbolic, and full of black humor, like when Ripley finds herself in this veritable labyrinth of stairs in Atrani or at the foot of this ridiculously long staircase in Rome. Each time it is like yet another indignity that he must overcome. »'

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cinema-tv-etc · 1 year

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🎬🎥🎞️📽️🎭📀🎬🎥🎞️📸💽📽️🎬📹📼💻💿

WRITTEN BY KATHERINE DIAZ VILLEGAS

I don’t remember my beginning with books, but that may have been because they’ve simply just always been a part of me. I do, however, remember my many trips to the library where I would run around pulling out any and every book that piqued my interest until the stacks threatened to fall over. It wasn’t a need to escape that lead me to books, but my curiosity.

Books are so special because through words, an author can paint any realm, person or thing into existence. Storytelling has been the traditional method of passing down history and legends since the beginning, through cave drawings to sharing tales around a fire to hieroglyphics. Once stories passed on by word-of-mouth were officially transcribed, they soon became one of the most prized possessions one could own. Books have always had the responsibility to pass on information and ideas. With them, human beings have been able to learn, grow and create.

Film enthusiasts may argue that human beings need visualization to understand a story, but I disagree. The bond a reader has with a book is one of the most transcendent relationships one could ever have. No matter how words and phrases are written and arranged, not everyone will interpret them the same way. Though the story is written the same, each reader is different and will be affected by that story in an unparalleled way. Just because the author writes the sky is blue or that the valley was vast, how a reader visualizes or connects with that small bit of context creates a world of its own. Understanding the thoughts of a character and their reasoning behind it creates a genuine bond — one that is responsible for bringing so many beloved characters to life.

A book’s limits go as far as the reader’s imagination. No matter the genre, books awaken the brain in a way that pushes us to understand and imagine for ourselves. As the protagonist and characters grow, so does the reader.

In films, which are only possible with the effort of countless people and departments, the story only lasts an hour or two. Even in series, there’s still a certain type of limitation regarding time. Whenever films are adapted from books, more likely than not, you’ll enjoy reading the book even more than seeing the film. This is because there are more details and context in books. There’s no budget or post-production, producers or actors — there’s only the author, the story and the reader. Stripping away rules and opinions leads to the possibility to dream and create.

I’ve read well over a 1,000 books and never thought I would have a favorite until I stumbled upon “The Night Circus” by Erin Morgenstern. To me, this book was the puzzle that I never knew I needed to solve. It pushed what I had expected from novels and stories to a rich dream, interlacing past and present with a parade of characters each too extraordinary to not be known.

Books today are not a tool of the past, they’re ever-evolving. They will forever be a sort of dependency we’ll have. Like history, books are survivors that will live another day to tell their tale.

📖 📕📔📙📚 📗📘 📒📓📕📗📙📚 📖👀

Written by Mikael Trench

Films, historically speaking, are still very young forms of storytelling, with the first films ever made released during the 19th century. It’s easy to see why this art form is looked down upon by so many compared to books. Growing up, older generations warned us about the dangers of too much screen time. Equally likely is the chance your elders recommend to read instead. While literature has its perks, filmmaking is the superior storytelling medium.

What makes the art of filmmaking more admirable is the act of restraint. Books can tell any story featuring any ideas the author can imagine. While this gives books a distinct sense of escapism, films must be more inventive. Since films create fantastic scenes with budgetary limitations, filmmakers must find ways to balance these elements. From “Mary Poppins”(1964) to “Avatar” (2009), there’s bound to be a few films you admire for their ability to create mesmerizing illusions. The ability for filmmakers to work through these difficulties allows for an even greater appreciation of this craft.

Films can throw whatever visuals they want at us, but if the storytelling itself is no good, then there’s little to care about. What makes films stronger in this area is the variety of ways they tell their stories. Books allow little room for how they present their worlds other than blatantly putting it on the page for the reader to imagine. While that interpretation does add to the experience, there is still an element of disconnect that can leave some feeling underwhelmed.

From the birth of cinema, silent films always found ways to incorporate traditional literary storytelling techniques in a visual manner that allowed the audience to become far more engrossed in the experience than simply reading words. This not only offered for more enthralling moments to be made, but also for filmmaking to transcend the storytelling mold and become something far more universal. Storytelling in film must be inventive to be effective.

The legendary montage from the first 10 minutes of “Up” (2009) is a breathtaking piece of filmmaking. The animation and musical score visualize the couple’s story better than any words could. Regardless of culture or background, anyone could watch this sequence and comprehend the story while also getting wrapped up in the emotional context. It’s a testament to the craft put into every frame that makes up a film.

Films can achieve greater legacies than the books they are based on. Countless films from “The Shawshank Redemption”(1994) to “It’s a Wonderful Life” (1946) have surpassed their literary counterparts. These films differ heavily from their books, but no one seems to care. They were crafted with such ingenuity that audiences are more inspired by the big screen adaptations.

Films and books are two different works of art. Both have the power to allow us to escape into worlds we can only imagine. But filmmaking took the essence of storytelling and brought it to new and exciting heights before our very eyes. Whether they make us laugh, cry, scream or think, you can bet that a dedicated team is working their hardest to make those scenes last a lifetime.

🎬🎥🎞️📽️🎭📀🎬🎥🎞️📸💽📽️🎬📹📼💻💿

📖 📕📔📙📚 📗📘 📒📓📕📗📙📚 📖👀

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steorran · 3 years

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#i think i am technically committing a /no it is the children who are wrong/ violation here #but it weirds me out when showrunners or creators or whatever are too far in fandom's business #i respect that making tv is not a democracy and you mr showrunner are not required to have the fans sign off on the canon content #but in my opinion being mr showrunner doesn't mean YOU get veto power over fandom content either #[drake voice] if you keep scrolling on ao3 you're gonna see some shit that you don't like #also tbh i do not understand the psychology of people who deliberately bring really fandomy stuff #to the attention of people involved in the canon #my best guess is that they think of canon and fandom as one big ecosystem and i think of fandom as a separate derivative ecosystem #i LIKE that they are separate and i think it's good that it stays that way tbh #idk i guess i do think of fandom participation as a hobby that is embarrassing a little bc there's so much emotional involvement #it is fine if my tumblr mutuals see me projecting onto fictional characters #we're all basically equals so it's fine to be vulnerable #an actor or a producer or an author is not my equal in the same way and i don't want them looking at my embarassing emotional games #even if i am using their characters as paper dolls to dress up in my own interests and concerns #not 2 get up on my soapbox again but maybe it is bad that all of humanity is on the same seven websites #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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queerism1969 · 2 years

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LGBT writers from India

Ritu Dalmia

Ritu Dalmia (born 1973) is an Indian celebrity chef and restaurateur. She is the chef and co-owner of the popular Italian restaurant Diva in Delhi, which she established in 2000, with co-founder Gita Bhalla under partnership firm "Riga Food".

Gazal Dhaliwal

Gazal Dhaliwal is an Indian screenwriter who recently wrote the screenplay and dialogues for Vinod Chopra Films’ Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga, starring Rajkummar Rao, Anil Kapoor and Sonam K Ahuja. Previously, she has worked on Alankrita Shrivastava's critically acclaimed Lipstick Under My Burkha as the dialogue writer and she wrote the dialogues and co-wrote the screenplay for Qarib Qarib Singlle, directed by Tanuja Chandra, starring Irrfan Khan and Parvathy. She also wrote additional dialogues for Wazir that starred Amitabh Bachchan and Farhan Akhtar.

She is also a public speaker and LGBTQ+ activist, who has spoken openly about being a transgender woman in several talks and in the media – most famously in an episode of the Aamir Khan-led talk show, Satyamev Jayate.

Saagar Gupta

He has written screenplay and dialogues for independent films like The Pink Mirror and Evening Shadows as well as dialogues for several TV episodes of Rishtey, Gubbare, Kagaar and TV shows like Jassi Jaissi Koi Nahin, Left Right Left, Radha Ki Betiyaan among others.

Harish Iyer

Harish Iyer, also known as "Aham", hiyer and "Harrish Iyer" (born 16 April 1979) is an Indian equal rights activist. Iyer engages in advocacy for a number of causes, including promoting the rights of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community, children, women, animals, and survivors of child sexual abuse.

Firdaus Kanga

Firdaus Kanga (Born in 1960, age 61) is an Indian writer and actor who lives in London. He has written a novel, Trying to Grow a semi-autobiographical novel set in India and a travel book Heaven on Wheels about his experiences in the United Kingdom where he met Stephen Hawking. Trying to Grow was later turned into a film, Sixth Happiness, for which Kanga wrote the screenplay, and in which he starred.

Ashok Row Kavi

Ashok Row Kavi is an Indian journalist and LGBT rights activist.

Devdutt Pattanaik

Devdutt Pattanaik is an Indian mythologist, speaker, illustrator and author, known for his writing on Hindu sacred lore, legends, folklore, fables and parables. His work focuses largely on the areas of religion, mythology, and management.

Akkai Padmashali

Akkai Padmashali is an Indian transgender activist, motivational speaker, and singer. For her work in activism she has received the Rajyotsava Prashasti, the second highest civilian honor of the state of Karnataka, and an honorary doctorate from the Indian Virtual University for Peace and Education.

Onir

Onir (born Anirban Dhar, 1 May 1969) is an Indian film and TV director, editor, screenwriter and producer. He is best known for his film My Brother…Nikhil, based on the life of Dominic d'Souza, starring Sanjay Suri and Purab Kohli Nikhil was one of the first mainstream Hindi films to deal with AIDS and same-sex relationships.

Onir won the National Award for his film I Am. He has won 16 total film awards.

Suniti Namjoshi

Suniti Namjoshi (born 1941 in Mumbai, India) is a poet and a fabulist. She grew up in India, worked in Canada and at present lives in the southwest of England with English writer Gillian Hanscombe. Her work is playful, inventive and often challenges prejudices such as racism, sexism, and homophobia. She has written many collections of fables and poetry, several novels, and more than a dozen children's books. Her work has been translated into several languages, including Spanish, Italian, Dutch, Chinese, Korean, Hindi and Turkish.

Ismail Merchant

Ismail Merchant (born Ismail Noor Muhammad Abdul Rahman (25 December 1936 – 25 May 2005) was an Indian film producer, director and screenwriter. He worked for many years in collaboration with Merchant Ivory Productions which included Director (and Merchant's longtime professional and domestic partner) James Ivory as well as screenwriter Ruth Prawer Jhabvala.

Hoshang Merchant

Hoshang Dinshaw Merchant (born 1947) is a poet from India. Most of his writings are in English. He is best known for his anthology on gay writing titled Yaarana.

Maxim Mazumdar

Maxim Mazumdar (27 January 1952 – 28 April 1988) was an Indo-Canadian playwright and director. He is known for his one-man show, Oscar Remembered, which tells the story of the Irish playwright Oscar Wilde as seen from the perspective of his lover and nemesis, Lord Alfred Douglas.

Anand Mahadevan

Anand Mahadevan is an Indian-Canadian writer, who was awarded an Honour of Distinction from the Dayne Ogilvie Prize for LGBT writers in 2013.

Born and raised in Tamil Nadu, India, Mahadevan moved to the United States at age 17 to study. He moved to Canada in 2002, and teaches science at the University of Toronto Schools and creative writing at the Humber School for Writers.

The Strike, his debut novel about a young Tamil man's gay sexual awakening, was published in Canada by TSAR Publications in 2006.[4] Its publication in India followed in 2009.

His second novel, tentatively titled American Sufi, is slated for future publication.

He has also been an active supporter of the campaign to strike down Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, which criminalized homosexuality in India.

He subsequently served on the jury for the 2015 Dayne Ogilvie Prize, selecting Alex Leslie as that year's winner.

Vyjayanti Vasanta Mogli

Vyjayanti Vasanta Mogli is an Indian transgender activist, RTI activist, singer and motivational speaker.She intervened in the “Suresh Kumar Kaushal & Other vs Naz Foundation & Others” Case in the Supreme Court in 2014 in which she highlighted the deleterious effects of conversion or reparative therapy on queer people through her affidavit.

Vijayarajamallika

Vijayarajamallika, known as Daivathinte Makal, is a transgender poet in Malayalam literature, She is a writer, teacher, social worker, inspirational speaker, and activist.

Vasudhendra

Vasudhendra is an Indian author in Kannada language known for his short stories and personal essays.

Ruth Vanita

Ruth Vanita is an Indian academic, activist and author who specialises in British and Indian literary history with a focus on gender and sexuality studies. She also teaches and writes on Hindu philosophy.

Manil Suri

Manil Suri (born July 1959) is an Indian-American mathematician and writer of a trilogy of novels all named for Hindu gods. His first novel, The Death of Vishnu (2001), which was long-listed for the 2001 Booker Prize, short-listed for the 2002 PEN/Faulkner Award and won the Barnes & Noble Discover Prize that year. Since then, he has published two more novels, The Age of Shiva (2008) and The City of Devi (2013), completing the trilogy.

Gopi Shankar Madurai

Gopi Shankar Madurai (Tamil: கோபி ஷங்கர் மதுரை, born 13 April 1991) is an Indian equal rights and Indigenous rights activist. Shankar was one of the youngest, and the first openly intersex and genderqueer statutory authority and one of the candidates to contest in 2016 Tamil Nadu Legislative Assembly election. Shankar is also the founder of Srishti Madurai Student Volunteer Collective. Shankar’s work inspired the Madras High Court (Madurai Bench) to direct the Government of Tamil Nadu to order a ban on forced sex-selective surgeries on intersex infants. In December 2017 Shankar was elected to the Executive board of ILGA Asia. In August 2020 the Ministry of Social Justice and Empowerment appointed Shankar as the South Regional representative in the National Council for Transgender Persons.

Vikram Seth

Vikram Seth CBE, FRSL (born 20 June 1952) is an Indian novelist and poet. He has written several novels and poetry books. He has received several awards such as Padma Shri, Sahitya Academy Award, Pravasi Bharatiya Samman, WH Smith Literary Award and Crossword Book Award. Seth's collections of poetry such as Mappings and Beastly Tales are notable contributions to the Indian English language poetry canon.

Nibedita Sen

Nibedita Sen is a queer Bengali-born writer of speculative fiction. She has been a finalist for the Astounding, Nebula, and Hugo Awards.

Vida Dutton Scudder

She was born in Madurai, India, on December 15, 1861, the only child of David Coit Scudder (of the Scudder family of missionaries in India) and Harriet Louise (Dutton) Scudder. After her father, a Congregationalist missionary, was accidentally drowned in 1862, she and her mother returned to the family home in Boston. Apart from travel in Europe, she attended private secondary schools in Boston, and was graduated from the Boston Girl's Latin School in 1880. Scudder then entered Smith College, where she received her BA degree in 1884.

A. Revathi

A Revathi is a Bangalore-based writer and an activist working for the rights of sexual minorities. She is also a trans woman and belongs to the Hijra community.

R. Raj Rao

Ramachandrapurapu Raj Rao (born 1955) is an Indian writer, poet and teacher of literature who has been described as "one of India's leading gay-rights activists". His 2003 novel The Boyfriend is one of the first gay novels to come from India. Rao was one of the first recipients of the newly established Quebec-India awards.

Sridhar Rangayan

Sridhar Rangayan (also spelt Sridhar Rangaihn or Sridhar Rangayyan; born 2 April 1962) is an Indian filmmaker who has made films with special focus on queer subjects. His queer films, The Pink Mirror and Yours Emotionally, have been considered groundbreaking because of their realistic and sympathetic portrayal of the largely closeted Indian gay community. His film The Pink Mirror remains banned in India by the Indian Censor Board because of its homosexual content.

Rangayan was born in Mandya, Karnataka. As a gay activist, he has been one of the front-rank leaders in the LGBT movement in India and has contributed immensely towards the growth of awareness about sexual minorities in India.

He is a Founder Member and Trustee of The Humsafar Trust, the first gay NGO in India, along with Ashok Row Kavi. He served on its board till January 2013. He also designed and edited India's first gay magazine Bombay Dost between 1999–2003.

Bindumadhav Khire

Bindumadhav Khire is an LGBTQ+ rights activist from Pune, Maharashtra, India. He runs Samapathik Trust, an NGO which works on LGBTQ+ issues in Pune district. He founded Samapathik Trust in 2002 to cater the men having sex with men (MSM) community in Pune city. He has also written on the issues on sexuality in fictional and non-fictional forms including edited anthologies, plays, short-stories, and informative booklets.

Saleem Kidwai

Saleem Kidwai (7 August 1951 – 30 August 2021) was a medieval historian, gay rights activist, and translator. Kidwai was a Professor of History at Ramjas College, University of Delhi until 1993 and thereafter an independent scholar.

327 notes · View notes

cotncandyboifics · 3 years

Text

A Lovely Night: Chapter 6

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5

Pairing(s): pre-established roceit & prinxiety, anaroceit, eventual anaroloceit, eventual intruality

Word count: ~4k

Story summary: Roman's boyfriends had had a rivalry since before either of them had actually met Roman. Running a bit late to a date night, Roman accidentally gets them to start dating too.

General CW: non-detailed description of an anxiety attack, non-detailed description of physical pain, food, kissing, potentially triggering descriptions of physical bodies, swearing, caps lock, school settings, s-xual innuendos, slight description of gore(imagery), vague descriptions of anxiety, Implications of an eating disorder, fatigue, dissociation, suppression of stimming, implied heavy restriction (ED), inner monologue-style anxiety description, eating, (will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: Implications of an eating disorder, fatigue, dissociation, suppression of stimming, vague description of an anxiety attack, implied heavy restriction (ED), school setting, inner monologue-style anxiety description, food mention, eating, (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: <<>>

...

Logan did not know what to do with himself. The past week had thrown him off his figurative rhythm far more than he could have possibly anticipated.

First, a lead actor who he'd already been trying his best not to look at - with his accursed pretty hair and handsome face and big muscles - decided to attempt to court him? Logan felt mocked. There is no conceivable possibility that such a beautiful - and might he add, quite pompous and bothersome - man would have any sort of real interest in him, romantically or sexually. He shuddered slightly. He really should have taken the apple his roommate had offered him for breakfast that morning, but it was too late now.

And wouldn't you know, just a week later, a - dare he say - equally pretty man with mesmerizing blonde curls and a cheeky smile takes an interest in him at his own school . After years and years of having never been asked out, no one having taken an even remote interest in him, not one second glance, Logan had two men asking after him in the span of a single week. Men who he found atrociously gorgeous, in fact. Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, glasses riding up his forehead a bit.

This alone would have been enough. But he just had to go into that little sewing shop for his dear friend Patton's birthday present, and that boy with the purple bangs who stumbled over his words and his feet was completely and undeniably flustered by Logan's presence. Perhaps he was simply experiencing an ego boost from his two previous encounters that week with pretty men, but he felt that the attraction the boy seemed to have for him was unmistakable.

And now here he was, pacing down the sidewalk toward the library, headed off to meet - Janus, if he recalled correctly - for their first study session. He didn't know what the hell he'd been thinking when he asked to meet Janus again, the very next day no less... perhaps he felt the need to seize the moment while it was present, or however the saying goes. Regardless, while his actions had been quite uncharacteristically spontaneous, he saw no logical purpose in redacting his decision; Janus seemed to be an individual with plentiful intellect, and studying with fellow students had generally proved to be a beneficial tactic in Logan's (albeit minimal) experience and (far less minimal) research. Meeting with Janus, even if it wound up simply being this once, should be no different.

Logan avidly ignored any simmering feelings that he wanted something more than to spend time with Janus just this once.

He was shaken from his thoughts when his phone started ringing in his pocket. He examined the screen, noting the time - 2:49 PM, he wasn't late for his engagement with Janus just yet - as he checked who was calling. It was an unknown number, but the area code was local. Logan frowned, pressing the answer button.

"Greetings, Logan Lattimer speaking."

Virgil was kind of panicking.

His boyfriends each happened to meet this super-cute space-nerd guy in the span of a week, and the second they'd talked to him they were all heart-eyes. Not that Virgil was complaining; the guy sounded really cute.

He knew first hand now, that he was in fact super cute . That was the problem.

Virgil's lunch break came and went, most of which he spent gnawing vaguely at a sandwich and staring anxiously at the contact card that had been in Logan's wallet. It simply had his full name and phone number on it, nothing else. He tapped it on the desk in front of him, glancing between the numbers and his own phone, set face-up beside his elbow.

And then his lunch break had ended, and he had several more hours of worrying before he had to convince himself to call Logan.

Something occurred to him, during those hours. Should he tell his boyfriends?

What would he even say? There wasn't much to tell, at least not that warranted calling them before he got home. If he was going to make any calls, there was one he was under obligation to make first. And if he were to seek comfort in them for his obligation, what would they say?

Roman was probably the lesser option; he'd been whining about Logan all week, and now that he knew Janus was meeting with him again today, tensions were especially high. He'd be no help whatsoever, Virgil was sure of it.

And speaking of Janus meeting Logan again today... that also meant no. Calling your boyfriend who was about to see the guy you were nervous to call made the situation all kinds of awkward. No, everything would be easier if he'd simply call him.

So, shaking his shoulders out a bit, he did. He stepped into the break room, grabbed his phone and the contact card, and dialed the number.

His thumb hovered over the call button for a few seconds too long. He cursed under his breath and looked away as he pressed it, bringing the phone to his ear. it rang twice, and then a slight static preceded a familiar voice.

"Greetings, Logan Lattimer speaking."

Virgil was glad he'd drew in a breath to hold when he'd pressed the call button, because he wasn't sure he could recall how to breathe properly.

"Hey, this is Virgil, um, from the knitting supply shop? Uh, you kinda left your wallet here..." Virgil managed to cough, voice not breaking as much as it could have. His chest felt cold and constricted, and he wrapped one arm around himself to fight off the burn of the icy spears stabbing through his lungs.

"Ah, hello Virgil. I am currently on my way to a separate engagement, however it should not take long. At what time would it be acceptable for me to return to your place of business to retrieve my belongings?"

"Oh, uh- I'll be here till four," Virgil stuttered a bit, surprised at how fast Logan jumped to planning mode, as well as realizing he knew the precise nature of the so-called separate engagement Logan was about to attend.

"That is adequate. I will make sufficient efforts to arrive before that time. See you then."

With that, the line disconnected, and Virgil was overwhelmed by the eerie silence of the break room. He glanced at a half-empty box of donuts their manager had brought in yesterday.

He could have said that the shop actually closed at six, and that Logan could get his wallet from Emile, but his train of thought hadn’t been screwed on properly when he’d been speaking, so he could grant himself a little slack- wait, he was mixing his metaphors now...

Suddenly, the door swung open, Emile peeking out from behind it.

"Virgil, could you get back out here? We've got a little rush," and he ducked out, gone as quickly as he’d arrived.

Virgil sighed, shuddering away his anxieties, grabbing a donut hole and popping it into his mouth before heading out to join his colleague.

Janus was sitting at a table set between the rows of shelves, reading pensively beneath a subtle desk lamp where Logan found him. He glanced up and smiled gently when Logan arrived, who set his things down beside a chair opposite from Janus'.

"Apologies, Janus, but I must cut our studying session short in about 45 minutes - i left my wallet at a nearby shop this morning, and must retrieve it before 4pm." Janus' eyes sparked with something Logan couldn't place, and he hid a smirk behind steepled gloved fingers. Logan gulped imperceptibly. "Perhaps we can set up another time to study as well- um, to make up for it, I mean?" He rushed his words out in a short breath, running his fingers through his hair to collect himself. Janus' smirk broadened very slightly, and Logan found himself watching the lines of Janus’ face as they shifted.

"It would be my pleasure." Janus averted his eyes for a moment, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he thought. “Perhaps we should exchange information, so that I might- so that we can settle on a proper time for another engagement.” Janus reached into his inner coat pocket, producing his phone and tapping away for a moment, before passing it to Logan. He took it carefully, recognizing a blank contact screen, and quickly entering his information into it. He handed the phone back to Janus with a tight smile, and Janus returned it, sliding his phone back into the same pocket before resettling himself in his seat more properly.

Janus set aside his book to pull out a few textbooks for their critical thinking class. "If we are cutting our study session that precisely short, that would provide me with a chance to surprise-" He faltered for a moment, tone changing, though it was so subtle Logan almost thought he'd imagined it - "a friend of mine after his shift. Now, where did your class get to in the lecture today?" He started thumbing through the pages of a particularly thick but small book, holding it by the spine with one hand.

"Ah... Professor Cauley was stopped short on page 461 when he became distracted with his electric pencil sharpener malfunctioning, and class ended a few moments later. He did inform us that the other class had made it to page 465, so if you need me to catch up to you, it should only take me a few minutes." Logan was rifling through the pages of his textbook intently, not noticing Janus' surprised expression.

Janus reached a hand out, cautiously setting his hand on Logan's wrist, just beneath his wristwatch. "Don't fret," he breathed, "it appears we share the same class period. If I recall correctly, Professor Cauley’s face went positively red with rage, and he nearly broke the poor sharpener worse as he tried to unjam it." Janus chuckled shyly through his words as Logan met his eyes, smiling after a moment.

“Fascinating. I wonder how I have not noticed you in class before?” Logan tilted his head very slightly, and noticed something swimming warmly in Janus’ eyes. They were quite a very lovely golden brown, he thought.

Janus shifted, looking down to adjust his own texts, but the smirk that was growing less snarky by the second never left his lips. “It is a rather large class. It can be easy to lose faces in the crowd. I’m not sure I can pick out more than three people with whom I share that class if they were to pass me in the halls. But no matter.” Janus glanced at Logan’s textbook and notes, readying his pencil. “Shall we begin?”

Logan was talking animatedly as he hunched himself over his notes, Janus glancing up to watch his face behind its shield of deep brown bangs intermittently as he scribbled in his own notebook to (at least attempt to) keep up. Janus’ gaze was averted, however, when a repetitive chime sounded from Logan’s phone, sitting face down on the desk just beside his right forearm. He stopped mid-sentence, adjusting his posture and picking his phone up, flipping it over to view the screen. He sighed, deflating slightly, as he tapped the screen once, setting the phone back down.

“My apologies, Janus, but it appears that it is time for me to depart.” Logan stood, a colder, sharper version of himself taking the place of the one that holds a deep passion for learning. The beautiful ice crystal, despite its beauty, is still the twin of the icy shards that cut sharper than knives or spears, Janus thought.

Janus stood swiftly, joining Logan in his gathering of his personal belongings, shoveling his own texts into his own bag. “It is quite alright, I assure you, Logan.” They met eyes as Janus spoke Logan’s name, and Janus could swear he saw a subtle, blotchy pink settle in Logan’s cheeks. “I’ll be headed down Main Street, then. Perhaps-” Logan cleared his throat, glaring down and to the side at nothing in particular as he retried his statement. “I will be expecting to hear from you, Janus.” They walked side by side out the front of the library, stopping just past the doors to say their goodbyes. But Janus had a small realization, and felt the creeping suspicion crawling its way up his sides returning. He resisted the urge to shake or twitch it away, grinding his teeth a bit.

Instead of continuing to suppress his stimming, he cleared his throat, speaking to Logan. "I am headed down Main Street as well. I hope it is not out of- I hope that it isn’t inappropriate for me to ask, but...will you allow me to accompany you?" Janus asked, nearly moving to offer his arm to Logan, but deciding quickly that that was far too forward. He settled on spreading an arm out, gesturing to the concrete path before them that led to the sidewalk.

Logan offered a small smile. "That would be adequate, and not inappropriate in the slightest. I, I would enjoy your company.” A beat of silence, and Logan cleared his throat. “Just this way," and Logan set off, at an impressively brisk pace that Janus nearly had a hard time keeping up with, having been caught off guard.

They walked in stride with one another as they made their way down the street. Janus became increasingly suspicious of the scenario the closer they got to the sewing shop. From what he knew of Logan's situation, there was no conflicting evidence that would disqualify the possibility that Logan was headed, in fact, toward Virgil's workplace. Janus held his breath when they turned onto the very same block, watching Logan's body language soften as they did.

Janus took a deep breath, glancing at the sign of the sewing shop a pace or two ahead.

"Logan, there's something I wish to discuss with-"

Janus glanced at the sewing shop's sign once more as they passed, but didn't move to stop before the door until he realized Logan had done so, standing a bit stiff a few paces back.

"This would be the establishment I spoke of," Logan's eyes looked a bit hazed, vaguely pointed towards the door handle. He seemed not to have heard Janus’ beginnings of a confession. Janus’ eyebrow quirked ever so slightly.

"Interesting," he breathed quietly, and Logan met his eyes then. "Allow me." Janus reached a gloved hand out to open the door for Logan, bowing slightly as he held it open.

"Much appreciated," Logan commented, stepping through the doorway smoothly.

Virgil was sitting slouched behind the counter, typing random numbers into the cash register out of boredom. He was half considering going to bother Emile, but he was busy doing inventory. And besides, Virgil needed to stay behind the register in case any customers came in. One person behind the counter at all times, that was the rule. He sighed, bringing his hand to his face and tapping on the tip of his nose absentmindedly.

The bell chimed, and Virgil looked up from behind his mop of purple hair. His heart gave a few beats a bit harder than usual, and he felt his throat constrict slightly.

There was Logan again. And the whole rest of the world became background noise.

The line of Logan's mouth widened, creating a crease or two on each side. Virgil realized that not only was he staring at Logan's lips, but as well that Logan was smiling. At him.

"Hello, Virgil," He spoke softly.

"Hi," Virgil practically coughed, the scratch in his throat making it borderline painful to speak. "H-how was your, your day?" Virgil asked, pursing his lips as soon as his words had left them.

Logan inhaled, raising his eyebrows and averting his eyes from Virgil's intense brown ones. "It has been satisfactory." The door chimed again behind Logan as it shut, and Virgil suddenly recognized that there was another person in the room. A person whose presence felt immediately familiar...

"Ah, my apologies," Logan stepped to the side slightly, allowing the person to come into full view. There, with a small sheepish smile, stood Janus. "Allow me to introduce-"

"Logan, dear, that won't be necessary," Janus rested a gentle gloved hand on Logan's shoulder, and Virgil couldn't tell if he was about to pass out from gay panic or just regular panic. "We are... quite well acquainted." Janus smiled tenderly to Virgil, and Virgil's whirring brain slowed if only slightly. He was safe.

…but… was he though?

"Oh, is this the friend you spoke of earlier, whom you meant to come and meet? How coincidental, that we were on our way to meet the same person without either of us having any prior knowledge of it." Logan was caught up in his fascination so much that he did not notice Virgil beginning to hyperventilate, knuckles white as he gripped the counter, or the way Janus was watching, practically frozen.

But, as Logan's commentary came to a close, it was as though a flip switched inside Janus’ mind, and he quickly strode around Logan. He stepped quickly behind the counter and over to Virgil, all while nearly whispering little nothings like "oh oh oh," "hush now love," and "come here dear."

Logan's brain took a moment to catch up, and soon he was simply standing there, watching as Virgil clung to Janus' coat rather desperately. Virgil’s body shuddered in silent sobs as Janus wrapped his arms around him, tight and secure. Janus was still whispering to him, but it was inaudible to Logan now.

Logan didn't quite know what to do, and so he just stood there, feeling rather stuck for a long time. At some point, he set his backpack and the gift bag he'd gotten from this very store earlier that day down against the counter on the floor, folding his hands before him. At some point, he registered Janus giving him an apologetic look, which confused him.

And then Janus kissed Virgil on the forehead, pulling back slightly to look him in the eyes. Logan thought from the way Janus was nodding softly and the way their chests moved together, that they may be doing a breathing exercise. He couldn't focus on much else, so he tried to follow along and copy them as well. 4, 7, 8. 4, 7, 8.

Sooner than later, Janus was leading Virgil carefully back out around the counter, both looking slightly worse for wear, but at least Virgil was far calmer. Janus smiled meekly at Logan again, and he still couldn't quite understand what was happening. It appeared that Virgil had had an anxiety attack, but the way Janus had rushed to comfort him so quickly, the way he seemed to know exactly what to do-

"Here you go, Logan," Virgil's voice was a bit scratchy as he reached out his hand, Logan's familiar black leather wallet between his pale fingers. Logan cleared his throat.

"Thank you," He spoke a bit more quietly than he meant to. He suddenly felt his headache flare again in full force, and had to fight not to shake as he reached his hand out to retrieve his wallet from Virgil's hands. He barely succeeded, but Virgil seemed to notice something amiss - he was watching Logan's wary eyes with some mix of suspicion and concern.

Janus, however, had been staring at the floor, and did not notice Logan's onset of fatigue. He sighed, clearing his throat softly. "Logan, I suppose you deserve some kind of explanation. One I tried to give before we’d come in, but regardless." Suddenly Virgil's eyes were on Janus, and far wider than Logan thought possible. Janus just glanced at him, nodding gently, and Virgil's shoulders visibly relaxed. "Virgil and I are..."

Janus laced their fingers together, and Logan's vision went blurry, everything around him fading to static fuzz as he tried to remember to breathe. He'd eaten more than enough today for this to be happening, surely? ...Had he eaten today? He couldn’t recall. He could always remember ... He vaguely registered Janus still speaking in the background, but he couldn't care enough to force himself to refocus. He got the jist. He and Virgil were romantically involved, and Janus was interested in nothing more than a friendship with Logan. That was perfectly fine. He didn't mind. He forced away the roiling feeling in his gut and gulped down the sting starting to tingle in his eyes, forcing himself to nod.

"Understood," He blurted, voice a bit raspy. He turned toward the door, reaching for the handle. Before he fully exited, he threw over his shoulder, "I look forward to seeing you later this week, Janus. And thank you again, Virgil." And with that, he was gone.

He made his way down the block briskly, trying to shake the haze that clouded his vision. The only thing he could think to do was go and see Patton. He knew nothing worked magic on his body like a good black coffee.

"Virgil and I are..." Virgil looked down as Janus laced their fingers together, and looked back to Logan, whose face seemed to have gone paler than it normally was, which was quite horrifying to see. Considering Logan was already so white that his skin tone bordered on inhuman, now it was devoid of any pricks of red coloring and looked almost like an empty tinted gray, pronouncing his cheekbones and eye bags even more so. Janus looked between them, continuing after a moment, "...we have been romantically involved for several years now, and even longer with our partner Roman, who you may recall from the community theatre? He's expressed to us that he's quite taken with you, in fact... And I know this may be a lot to spring on you right now, but I thought you deserved to know... it felt wrong to pursue anything with you romantically when we- when you didn't have the facts straight, and even regardless, it's important for you to know that all three of us are-"

"Understood," Logan cut Janus off, nodding. He didn't speak harshly, in fact his voice was quite quiet, but it was curt and forward as Logan always was, and so cut through Janus' words like a frozen blade.

Janus looked at him in awe, and opened his mouth to speak, but Virgil gripped his arm before he did. Logan was already at the door. He glanced over his shoulder, but didn’t really look at either of them. "I look forward to seeing you later this week, Janus. And thank you again, Virgil." Janus and Virgil watched as Logan walked out the door and straight down the sidewalk through the shop window.

Emile, who apparently had been standing there for at least a few moments, cleared his throat awkwardly. Janus and Virgil looked at him in unison, matching exasperated looks on their faces.

"U-um, Virgil, I was just gonna check in, see if you've clocked off." Emile wrung his wrists between his fingers awkwardly.

"Um, no not yet," Virgil bit the corner of his lip, muttering a 'sorry' as he stepped past Emile and paced quickly to the back room to clock off. Janus stared blankly at the floor where his boyfriend had just been, eyebrows knit in thought.

"You feeling a-okay there, Janus?" Emile dipped his head a bit to get Janus' attention gently. Janus blinked a few times, engaging with Emile as he re-centered himself in the present moment.

"Yes, Emile, I'm fine, thank you," Janus rubbed his gloved palm with his thumb anxiously. He couldn't think of anything to add, so Emile smiled carefully, nodding and stepping away to resume whatever busywork he needed to attend to.

Virgil was back again shortly, his backpack slung over his shoulder. He gave Janus a strange look, some kind of combination of pity and sadness and confusion. At least, that's how it looked to Janus.

"Ready to...?" Virgil gestured vaguely towards the door, leaning into Janus' personal space a bit. Janus offered him his arm, clearing his throat and holding his chin high.

"Yes, love. Let's get home to Roman."

As they walked to the bus stop together, neither had any clue what they’d say to their Prince. He’d be distraught, they were both sure, and significantly more so than he already was, which would be… intense. Janus squeezed Virgil’s hand in his own slightly, and smiled somberly at him sideways.

They’d figure this out. They always did, eventually.

Janus took his time on the bus typing out a message to Logan, Virgil watching from the seat beside him as his head laid on Janus’ shoulder. Janus settled on something simple.

To: Logan L It's Janus. I'd love to meet up to study, or perhaps discuss other things, some time this week. Let me know if Thursday or Friday works better for you.

45 notes · View notes

richincolor · 2 years

Photo

Image - The Chandler Legacies Book Cover. Five young people in school uniforms casually sitting on a grassy area with multiple story brick buildings in the background.

Q & A with Abdi Nazemian

We're excited to feature Abdi Nazemian today sharing about his new novel THE CHANDLER LEGACIES that will be releasing on Feb. 15th.

Summary: Beth Kramer is a “townie” who returns to her sophomore year after having endured a year of tension with her roommate, Sarah.

But Sarah Brunson knows there’s more to that story.

Amanda Priya “Spence” Spencer is the privileged daughter of NYC elites, who is reeling from the realization that her family name shielded her from the same fate as Sarah.

Ramin Golafshar arrives at Chandler as a transfer student to escape the dangers of being gay in Iran, only to suffer brutal hazing under the guise of tradition in the boys’ dorms.

And Freddy Bello is the senior who’s no longer sure of his future but knows he has to stand up to his friends after what happened to Ramin.

At Chandler, the elite boarding school, these five teens are brought together in the Circle, a coveted writing group where life-changing friendships are born—and secrets are revealed. Their professor tells them to write their truths. But is the truth enough to change the long-standing culture of abuse at Chandler? And can their friendship survive the fallout?

After reading THE AUTHENTICS and LIKE A LOVE STORY, I've been eager to get my hands on this book, but am happy to hear from the author while waiting. He's quite the busy author/screenwriter/producer and we're thankful that he took the time to answer our many questions.

CB: You've been able to publish three YA novels now. Has your writing process changed much along the way?

AN: I don’t think my actual writing process has changed, but many other elements have emerged to make the process a more fruitful one. I’ve worked with the same incredible editor (Alessandra Balzer at Balzer + Bray) on all three of my YA novels, and the trust we’ve built up with each other in working on these books has been incredibly impactful. She’s guided me into writing books that are more intimate and vulnerable than I would ever have imagined. Another change is the amazing experience I’ve had in the YA book community. The support I’ve received from readers, educators and other authors has really helped me feel less insecure when I’m writing, and has allowed me to take more risks and be more honest on the page, which is what it’s all about.

CB: Along with these YA novels, you've also written for both film and television. It’s all storytelling, but what are some of the differences when writing in this particular format?

AN: The biggest difference is that writing a book is a deeply solitary experience. For the bulk of the novel-writing process, I’m literally and emotionally alone. I love it, because it’s a healthy way to excavate what needs to be excavated, and it’s such a pure form of self-expression. Film, and especially television, are incredibly collaborative. There’s very little time spent alone. I spent the bulk of last year in the magical writers’ room of a TV show called Ordinary Joe, and even though we were on Zoom, the hours spent breaking story with other writers was so much fun and so healing, not to mention the laughs and collaboration on set with actors and crew. The truth is I love both jobs equally. Usually, after writing a book, I crave the social aspect of film and television. And after wrapping up work on a TV show, I’m usually ready to hole myself up and write a novel.

CB: COVID has certainly brought about a lot of changes in general, but has the publishing journey been different with this book and its launch?

AN: That’s a hard question to answer at the moment because the launch is still over a month away as I answer these questions, and if this pandemic has taught me anything, it’s that every day is unpredictable. At this point, I assume all my book events will be virtual. I also assume I won’t be attending any in-person book festivals like I usually would with a book launch. I’ll miss the interaction with readers and other authors, and the sense of community that comes from those gatherings. But I also have been impressed with the way we’ve been able to maintain a sense of community virtually, and nothing creates community like books and all the arts. Hearing from readers during the pandemic gave me such a necessary feeling of connection these last two years.

CB: A writing group seems to be central to the story in The Chandler Legacies. Is there a group that had a big influence on you and your writing?

AN: I was in and out of writing groups for a lot of my early adult years. I often found them very helpful, but somehow they never lasted (same with all the book clubs I was in, sadly). But the biggest influence by far were teachers. The Chandler Legacies is inspired by my own time in boarding school, and by the incredible teachers (one in particular) who saw the writer in me and encouraged me to be creative. I also had incredible teachers in college. I remember one creative assignment in a Beat Generation class I took in college where the teacher asked us to write spontaneously without punctuation, structure or self-editing of any kind. I cherish that one assignment a lot because it’s still how I write. I don’t plot out my books. I don’t self-edit. I do all the structuring in revisions. My writing process is largely about creating conditions that allow me to express myself spontaneously and without fear.

CB: In THE AUTHENTICS, the main character is faced with huge secrets and in LIKE A LOVE STORY deception was involved. The characters in THE CHANDLER LEGACIES also grapple with secrets and the damage they can cause . Do you think there can be healthy secret-keeping in relationships? How important is truth and do you think it conquers all?

AN: Oh wow, this is such a complex question. Well, first of all, secrets are definitely one of the big themes I grapple with in my writing, which obviously means it’s something I grapple with in my life. Growing up, my own history was never shared with me. My parents and the Iranian community believed (and probably still do) that it’s best to protect their kids from the trauma of the past. As a result, I felt very disconnected from my history. Then I realized I was gay at a time when gay life and history were completely unavailable to me (which I write about in Like a Love Story), and I remained closeted from my family until my early twenties. The triple punch of emptiness caused by not knowing my Iranian and my queer history, and also being in the closet, has given me a very strong appreciation of honesty in all aspects of my own life. I’m extremely honest with my husband and children. I’m lucky not to keep secrets from them, but I certainly enter secret worlds. When I’m reading a novel, or writing a novel, or journaling, or taking a walk, I’m in my own universe of thought, and not every bit of that needs to be shared. That said, the circumstances of my life allow me to be honest with those closest to me, but of course there is healthy secret-keeping in other circumstances. Telling the truth can be dangerous. One of many examples is queer people who can’t come out because it could put them in danger. What I hope is that everyone can at the very least be honest with themselves and with those closest to them, but in general I try to steer myself away from fundamentalist beliefs like “truth conquers all” and steer myself toward an understanding that each individual’s life and circumstances requires individual consideration.

CB: What secret, or not so secret, writing goal(s) do you have now? And if you can, let us know what you might be working on now, or if we might expect to see more YA from you.

AB: If I can keep going back and forth from writing books to writing film and television, I’ll be incredibly fulfilled. I suppose my own personal goal is to keep pushing myself to go deeper and stay productive. Like many writers, the blank page both excites and frightens me, and I always fear my creative well will run dry. Every book feels like it might be the last book. I would very much love to see one of my books turned into a film or television series, but that’s out of my control, and it’s not for lack of trying that it hasn’t happened. And I’d love to keep experimenting with new mediums. I’ve been working on a stage musical that was meant to have a workshop before the pandemic, and I’d love to see that move forward. And I wrote a scripted podcast during the pandemic which would be thrilling to see produced. I guess one of my biggest fears is the experience of writing feeling stale to me, and constantly challenging myself with new mediums feels like a great way to keep it challenging. And yes, more YA is on the way. I’m working on my next book and it might be my favorite one yet. And I have a short story I’m very proud of (my first published short story) in an anthology that will be released this June. The story is called Concerto, and it’s in an anthology called Out There: Into The Queer New Yonder.

CB: I'm a children's librarian so my brain often turns to picture books. Is there a moment in your life that might make an amusing picture book?

AN: I have two kids. They’re ten years old now, but when they were younger and I was reading picture books to them every night, I was obsessed with the idea of writing one. But many people I trust kind of steered me away from the idea for many reasons, one of many being that I have no real skill at drawing and visual art. But also, I did pitch what I thought was a wildly original picture book idea to my editor once, and it turned out she had already published a book that was strikingly similar. It made me realize that maybe I don’t know enough about the landscape to enter it. But never say never. I love picture books so much, and would be honored to write one someday.

CB: No matter what format, I'll look forward to any book you share. Thanks so much for spending time with us. We look forward to reading THE CHANDLER LEGACIES and many more of your stories in the future.

Photo credit: Marc Ohrem-Leclef

Abdi Nazemian spent his childhood in a series of glamorous locations (Tehran, Paris, Toronto, New York), but could usually be found in his bedroom watching old movies and reading. He currently resides in Los Angeles with his two children and husband, and holds dual citizenship between the United States and Canada.

Abdi has written for three television shows: NBC's ORDINARY JOE, Fox's ALMOST FAMILY, and NBC's THE VILLAGE. He has written four produced films including: THE ARTIST'S WIFE (Strand Releasing, 2020), MENENDEZ: BLOOD BROTHERS (Lifetime, 2017), and THE QUIET (Sony Pictures Classics, 2006). He also wrote, directed and produced the short film REVOLUTION (2012). He is proud to say his words have been spoken by the likes of Carmela Soprano, The Nanny, and The Girl With The Most Cake.

Abdi’s first novel, THE WALK-IN CLOSET, was released in 2015 by Curtis Brown Unlimited, and was awarded Best Debut at the Lambda Literary Awards. He has written three young adult novels, all published by Balzer + Bray: THE AUTHENTICS (2017), LIKE A LOVE STORY (2019), and THE CHANDLER LEGACIES (2022). LIKE A LOVE STORY won a Stonewall Honor and was chosen by Time Magazine as one of the 100 best young adult books of all time.

Abdi is not the inspiration for Madonna's children's book "The Adventures of Abdi," though he will forever insist that he is.

You may find Abdi online at Twitter, Instagram, and his Website.

#author q & a #new release #the chandler legacies #abdi nazemian #ya lit

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miniwolfsbane · 3 years

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Sweet Tooth S1 thoughts (BIG SPOILERS)

First off, I am disappointed we were shown a PURRING PUPPY BABY in the trailer and had 0 follow up with it? Did he/she escape to Istanbul with it’s parents? Get captured? Live a nomadic life? Live in the forest? I WANT ANSWERS!! :( Also, puppies don’t purr, so I want answers to that too. Unless they were trying to go for a whimper or an animal noise and just went with that instead.

BIG SPOILERS under the cut

Anyway, the only two things, aside from the bits of gore and violence (Reviews are all like “IT’S A FAMILY SHOW!” And I counter back with “I would not let any child under 13 watch this and I have never seen a family show with three seconds of guts being removed and two scenes of implied, live vivisecting on sentient beings without anesthetic.”), the only things I didn’t like about this were using 2 overused cliche’s. One being the hero hanging off a bridge for what seems like 12 years above peril, and the other I can’t remember. It was Jeppard nearly missing the train. The only thing that saved it was the flashback.

The other thing was that, while dark, there’s a bit of predictably and not much depth to the story. I realized last night that the comic source material my have the depth I’m craving out of the story. Just because it has child actors doesn’t mean the story can’t be dug into deeper and have more meaning. I applaud them for what they did and how they handled it, mixing in human-ish vivisecting with neighbors burning down their friends houses and being murderous hypocrites into a story about children, but it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more. Edit: Not more violence, obviously, just more to the story. dig into the universe, hard. Like gardening, just shove both metaphorical hands into that story soil and root around in it. Find all the gems that are the interesting parts of this universe and answer our questions.

Sadly, I see someone on tumblr called it...something. Like, were we even watching the same show?? A multi-racial cast that gives all it’s characters dignity isn’t...that.

Bobby isn’t creepy to most and not shown that much. If you really think Bobby is that creepy, you need to go see original Bobby and get back to me. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=mv4YBZHa&id=071BD6BDAA183CA5965247E7F8F68E873375399B&thid=OIP.mv4YBZHau8dTzxGoK0L0ggHaHD&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fvignette.wikia.nocookie.net%2Fmarvel_dc%2Fimages%2Ff%2Ffc%2FBobby_Sweet_Tooth_001.jpg%2Frevision%2Flatest%3Fcb%3D20150813115735&cdnurl=https%3A%2F%2Fth.bing.com%2Fth%2Fid%2FR9afe180591dabbc753cf11a82b42f482%3Frik%3Dmzl1M4eO9vjnRw&pid=ImgRaw&exph=616&expw=647&q=sweet+tooth+comics+bobby&simid=608026455638091252&ck=7A4DBACCF6BFE43E3B1E799F7F88C55A&selectedindex=0&adlt=demote&shtp=GetUrl&shid=3fb5000d-4d63-494a-986d-006fedeb28d5&shtk=Qm9iYnkgKFN3ZWV0IFRvb3RoKSB8IERDIERhdGFiYXNlIHwgRmFuZG9t&shdk=Rm91bmQgb24gQmluZyBmcm9tIGRjLmZhbmRvbS5jb20%3D&shhk=NjRWN4Jv1KDrxu8T30I3UN0IQ71oVtCAEnsLIeSmFl4%3D&form=EX0023&shth=OSH.nyb0RMh%252Bnm%252B%252B%252FIH1cnkhHw

Okay, kid does sorta look like a gremlin mixed with a Furby in the show, like one post said, but I’ve seen worse. https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=F9mlBjUo&id=49C0257935E4A941563E579C7E9DCF48B72BEC01&thid=OIF.eyTVbAuEqt0R%2bKFmrIK4gA&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fepipoca.com.br%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2021%2f06%2fE3NUK2kVoAE5Ct_.jpg&cdnurl=https%3a%2f%2fth.bing.com%2fth%2fid%2fR17d9a5063528805f1ade0ea77464df86%3frik%3d%26pid%3dImgRaw&exph=675&expw=1482&q=sweet+tooth++Bobby&simid=297111136187&ck=7B24D56C0B84AADD11F8A166AC82B880&selectedIndex=49&FORM=IRPRST&ajaxhist=0&ajaxserp=0

Sometimes stuff goes over my head. I had no idea that the babies were being born and not made in a lab. When they showed them in the maternity ward, I genuinely thought they had been experimented on and didn’t come out of the womb like that. Apparently I missed that it was a maternity ward in a hospital. That’s my other problem with this show I forgot to mention: It defies logic and you really have to turn off your brain to accept the hybrid concept. I’m guessing the virus or other means (possibly according to the comics, I tried to avoid big spoilers), mutated them in utero. That still doesn’t satisfy me. Thankfully, Gus was somehow lab created, so that helps. (More information and context would be appreciated. Was it, like, they were experimenting with in-vitro or what?) Edit: This article https://screenrant.com/sweet-tooth-theory-purple-flowers-cure-sick-virus/ explains that putting the virus in a chicken egg produced Gus. Which makes even less sense. Edit: This MAY or MAY NOT be right. Someone on YT pointed out they never said this in the show.

IRL, Virus + chicken embryo=would never randomly produce a human/deer hybrid baby. It’s so freaking random it sounds like nonsense or the delusions of a madman, not a rational comic book author with a presumably sane mind. Just...I’ve said it before...things have to make sense, even in fiction. 5 step process of anything cannot equal random result. It goes against all science, right? And made up worlds have to have rules, even silly worlds. Like I said, you have to turn your brain off, but this stretches even my disbelief. Hybrids, I get, fine, but that? I’m sorry, what? *headdesk* I don’t know, maybe the comics had something I’m missing since I never read them.

I’m eager to learn the connection to the kids and the virus as we go. And if we don’t get a season 2, I’ll be getting the comics to satisfy my thirst for this show.

Gus is my baby and I don’t understand how a kid could be that cute. Jeppard is the GOAT (lol) Bear could use better line delivery at times, but her acting will improve I’m sure. Nice to see Diana Ramierez acting again, her character is likeable. Wendy is cute, but kinda just there for me. Needs more traits or character development to get on my favorite characters list. Bear also needs more than just backstory and a tough girl persona. She’s not bland, she just needs more spark to her as a character. More personality, if that makes sense.

Lastly, I wanted a tiny bit more from the make-up department. Wendy and rabbit kids (yes, I took note of this detail and I love bunnies) make-up is on point, but the rest look like kids dressed up in dollar store feathers and fur for a school play. Get more creative if you’re gonna show these hybrids, even if it’s just for a few seconds. You have the budget!! (But I think most of that went to Bobby’s puppetry/CGI and Jeppard’s baby, to be honest.)

I wanted a cat girl or boy, because the lulz for the anime community (Also, because I have 2 cats and stuff), but at least we got bird kids, even if they weren’t cockatiels like mine. I’m ready for Season 2, hurry Netflix!!

I can see why people wouldn’t like this show or wouldn’t recommend watching it, but I see many have embraced it. It’s either you’re thing or it’s not, but you should give it a chance and see. Just don’t shoot it down if you hate it, there’s enough wet blankets out there and we all have different tastes.

Edit: One last thing. I do have a problem with hybrids being half-human. Like, you would think that being half-human, they’d still have all the problems humans have with causing wars and all. I know it’s a dark story with a good outcome, but there’s something too saccharine about hybrids having “The best parts of us.” What exactly are those best parts? Last I checked, humans are selfish and vain at their core. Even the most altruistic, giving person can be greedy about something or want more. It’s like Genie said in the new Aladdin, “You can have all the money and power in the world and it still won’t be enough”. Wouldn’t bird people and pig people and deer people all want to side with each other instead of living in some grand utopia? Fighting over land and resources? Portraying hybrids as taking over the earth after people are gone from extinction and everything going peachy doesn’t quite work for me. Not that I’d want it to still be dark, but, eh, they’d have to have SOME problems, wouldn’t they?

#Sweet Tooth Netflix #Gus #Jeppard #hybrids #Sweet Tooth spoilers

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dornish-queen · 4 years

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Pedro Pascal on Fame and ‘The Mandalorian’: ‘Can We Cut the S— and Talk About the Child?’

By Adam B. Vary

Photographs by Beau Grealy

When Pedro Pascal was roughly 4 years old, he and his family went to see the 1978 hit movie “Superman,” starring Christopher Reeve. Pascal’s young parents had come to live in San Antonio after fleeing their native Chile during the rise of dictator Augusto Pinochet in the mid-1970s. Taking Pascal and his older sister to the movies — sometimes more than once a week — had become a kind of family ritual, a way to soak up as much American pop culture as possible.

At some point during this particular visit, Pascal needed to go to the bathroom, and his parents let him go by himself. “I didn’t really know how to read yet,” Pascal says with the same Cheshire grin that dazzled “Game of Thrones” fans during his run as the wily (and doomed) Oberyn Martel. “I did not find my way back to ‘Superman.'”

Instead, Pascal wandered into a different theater (he thinks it was showing the 1979 domestic drama “Kramer vs. Kramer,” but, again, he was 4). In his shock and bewilderment at being lost, he curled up into an open seat and fell asleep. When he woke up, the movie was over, the theater was empty, and his parents were standing over him. To his surprise, they seemed rather calm, but another detail sticks out even more.

“I know that they finished their movie,” he says, bending over in laughter. “My sister was trying to get a rise out of me by telling me, ‘This happened and that happened and then Superman did this and then, you know, the earthquake and spinning around the planet.'” In the face of such relentless sibling mockery, Pascal did the only logical thing: “I said, ‘All that happened in my movie too.'”

He had no way of knowing it at the time, of course, but some 40 years later, Pascal would in fact get the chance to star in a movie alongside a DC Comics superhero — not to mention battle Stormtroopers and, er, face off against the most formidable warrior in Westeros. After his breakout on “Game of Thrones,” he became an instant get-me-that-guy sensation, mostly as headstrong, taciturn men of action — from chasing drug traffickers in Colombia for three seasons on Netflix’s “Narcos” to squaring off against Denzel Washington in “The Equalizer 2.”

This year, though, Pascal finds himself poised for the kind of marquee career he’s spent a lifetime dreaming about. On Oct. 30, he’ll return for Season 2 as the title star of “The Mandalorian,” Lucasfilm’s light-speed hit “Star Wars” series for Disney Plus that earned 15 Emmy nominations, including best drama, in its first season. And then on Dec. 25 — COVID-19 depending — he’ll play the slippery comic book villain Maxwell Lord opposite Gal Gadot, Chris Pine and Kristen Wiig in “Wonder Woman 1984.”

The roles are at once wildly divergent and the best showcase yet for Pascal’s elastic talents. In “The Mandalorian,” he must hide his face — and, in some episodes, his whole body — in a performance that pushes minimalism and restraint to an almost ascetic ideal. In “Wonder Woman 1984,” by stark contrast, he is delivering the kind of big, broad bad-guy character that populated the 1980s popcorn spectaculars of his youth.

“I continually am so surprised when everybody pegs him as such a serious guy,” says “Wonder Woman 1984” director Patty Jenkins. “I have to say, Pedro is one of the most appealing people I have known. He instantly becomes someone that everybody invites over and you want to have around and you want to talk to.”

Talk with Pascal for just five minutes — even when he’s stuck in his car because he ran out of time running errands before his flight to make it to the set of a Nicolas Cage movie in Budapest — and you get an immediate sense of what Jenkins is talking about. Before our interview really starts, Pascal points out, via Zoom, that my dog is licking his nether regions in the background. “Don’t stop him!” he says with an almost naughty reproach. “Let him live his life!”

Over our three such conversations, it’s also clear that Pascal’s great good humor and charm have been at once ballast for a number of striking hardships, and a bulwark that makes his hard-won success a challenge for him to fully accept.

Before Pascal knew anything about “The Mandalorian,” its showrunner and executive producer Jon Favreau knew he wanted Pascal to star in it.

“He feels very much like a classic movie star in his charm and his delivery,” says Favreau. “And he’s somebody who takes his craft very seriously.” Favreau felt Pascal had the presence and skill essential to deliver a character — named Din Djarin, but mostly called Mando — who spends virtually every second of his time on screen wearing a helmet, part of the sacrosanct creed of the Mandalorian order.

Convincing any actor to hide their face for the run of a series can be as precarious as escaping a Sarlacc pit. To win Pascal over in their initial meeting, Favreau brought him behind the “Mandalorian” curtain, into a conference room papered with storyboards covering the arc of the first season. “When he walked in, it must have felt a little surreal,” Favreau says. “You know, most of your experiences as an actor, people are kicking the tires to see if it’s a good fit. But in this case, everything was locked and loaded.”

Needless to say, it worked. “I hope this doesn’t sound like me fashioning myself like I’m, you know, so smart, but I agreed to do this [show] because the impression I had when I had my first meeting was that this is the next big s—,” Pascal says with a laugh.

Favreau’s determination to cast Pascal, however, put the actor in a tricky situation: Pascal’s own commitments to make “Wonder Woman 1984” in London and to perform in a Broadway run of “King Lear” with Glenda Jackson barreled right into the production schedule for “The Mandalorian.” Some scenes on the show, and in at least one case a full episode, would need to lean on the anonymity of the title character more than anyone had quite planned, with two stunt performers — Brendan Wayne and Lateef Crowder — playing Mando on set and Pascal dubbing in the dialogue months later.

Pascal was already being asked to smother one of his best tools as an actor, extraordinarily uncommon for anyone shouldering the newest iteration of a global live-action franchise. (Imagine Robert Downey Jr. only playing Iron Man while wearing a mask — you can’t!) Now he had to hand over control of Mando’s body to other performers too. Some actors would have walked away. Pascal didn’t.

“If there were more than just a couple of pages of a one-on-one scene, I did feel uneasy about not, in some instances, being able to totally author that,” he says. “But it was so easy in such a sort of practical and unexciting way for it to be up to them. When you’re dealing with a franchise as large as this, you are such a passenger to however they’re going to carve it out. It’s just so specific. It’s ‘Star Wars.'” (For Season 2, Pascal says he was on the set far more, though he still sat out many of Mando’s stunts.)

“The Mandalorian” was indeed the next big s—, helping to catapult the launch of Disney Plus to 26.5 million subscribers in its first six weeks. With the “Star Wars” movies frozen in carbonite until 2023 (at least), I noted offhand that he’s now effectively the face of one of the biggest pop-culture franchises in the world. Pascal could barely suppress rolling his eyes.

“I mean, come on, there isn’t a face!” he says with a laugh that feels maybe a little forced. “If you want to say, ‘You’re the silhouette’ — which is also a team effort — then, yeah.” He pauses. “Can we just cut the s— and talk about the Child?”

Yes, of course, the Child — or, as the rest of the galaxy calls it, Baby Yoda. Pascal first saw the incandescently cute creature during his download of “Mandalorian” storyboards in that initial meeting with Favreau. “Literally, my eyes following left to right, up and down, and, boom, Baby Yoda close to the end of the first episode,” he says. “That was when I was like, ‘Oh, yep, that’s a winner!'”

Baby Yoda is undeniably the breakout star of “The Mandalorian,” inspiring infinite memes and apocryphal basketball game sightings. But the show wouldn’t work if audiences weren’t invested in Mando’s evolving emotional connection to the wee scene stealer, something Favreau says Pascal understood from the jump. “He’s tracking the arc of that relationship,” says the showrunner. “His insight has made us rethink moments over the course of the show.” (As with all things “Star Wars,” questions about specifics are deflected in deference to the all-powerful Galactic Order of Spoilers.)

Even if Pascal couldn’t always be inside Mando’s body, he never left the character’s head, always aware of how this orphaned bounty hunter who caroms from planet to planet would look askance at anything that felt too good (or too adorable) to be true.

“The transience is something that I’m incredibly familiar with, you know?” Pascal says. “Understanding the opportunity for complexity under all of the armor was not hard for me.”

When Pascal was 4 months old, his parents had to leave him and his sister with their aunt, so they could go into hiding to avoid capture during Pinochet’s crackdown against his opposition. After six months, they finally managed to climb the walls of the Venezuelan embassy during a shift change and claim asylum; from there, the family relocated, first to Denmark, then to San Antonio, where Pascal’s father got a job as a physician.

Pascal was too young to remember any of this, and for a healthy stretch of his childhood, his complicated Chilean heritage sat in parallel to his life in the U.S. — separate tracks, equally important, never quite intersecting. By the time Pascal was 8, his family was able to take regular trips back to Chile to visit with his 34 first cousins. But he doesn’t remember really talking about any of his time there all that much with his American friends.

“I remember at one point not even realizing that my parents had accents until a friend was like, ‘Why does your mom talk like that?'” Pascal says. “And I remember thinking, like what?”

Besides, he loved his life in San Antonio. His father took him and his sister to Spurs basketball games during the week if their homework was done. He hoodwinked his mother into letting him see “Poltergeist” at the local multiplex. He watched just about anything on cable; the HBO special of Whoopi Goldberg’s one-woman Broadway show knocked him flat. He remembers seeing Henry Thomas in “E.T.” and Christian Bale in “Empire of the Sun” and wishing ardently, urgently, I want to live those stories too.

Then his father got a job in Orange County, Calif. After Pascal finished the fifth grade, they moved there. It was a shock. “There were two really, really rough years,” he says. “A lot of bullying.”

His mother found him a nascent performing arts high school in the area, and Pascal burrowed even further into his obsessions, devouring any play or movie he could get his hands on. His senior year, a friend of his mother’s gave Pascal her ticket to a long two-part play running in downtown Los Angeles that her bad back couldn’t withstand. He got out of school early to drive there by himself. It was the pre-Broadway run of “Angels in America.”

“And it changed me,” he says with almost religious awe. “It changed me.”

After studying acting at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, Pascal booked a succession of solid gigs, like MTV’s “Undressed” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” But the sudden death of his mother — who’d only just been permitted to move back to Chile a few years earlier — took the wind right from Pascal’s sails. He lost his agent, and his career stalled almost completely.

As a tribute to her, he decided to change his professional last name from Balmaceda, his father’s, to Pascal, his mother’s. “And also, because Americans had such a hard time pronouncing Balmaceda,” he says. “It was exhausting.”

Pascal even tried swapping out Pedro for Alexander (an homage to Ingmar Bergman’s “Fanny and Alexander,” one of the formative films of his youth). “I was willing to do absolutely anything to work more,” he says. “And that meant if people felt confused by who they were looking at in the casting room because his first name was Pedro, then I’ll change that. It didn’t work.”

It was a desperately lean time for Pascal. He booked an occasional “Law & Order” episode, but mostly he was pounding the pavement along with his other New York theater friends — like Oscar Isaac, who met Pascal doing an Off Broadway play. They became fast, lifelong friends, bonding over their shared passions and frustrations as actors.

“It’s gotten better, but at that point, it was so easy to be pigeonholed in very specific roles because we’re Latinos,” says Isaac. “It’s like, how many gang member roles am I going to be sent?” As with so many actors, the dream Pascal and Isaac shared to live the stories of their childhoods had been stripped down to its most basic utility. “The dream was to be able to pay rent,” says Isaac. “There wasn’t a strategy. We were just struggling. It was talking about how to do this thing that we both love but seems kind of insurmountable.”

As with so few actors, that dream was finally rekindled through sheer nerve and the luck of who you know, when another lifelong friend, actor Sarah Paulson, agreed to pass along Pascal’s audition for Oberyn Martell to her best friend Amanda Peet, who is married to “Game of Thrones” co-showrunner David Benioff.

“First of all, it was an iPhone selfie audition, which was unusual,” Benioff remembers over email. “And this wasn’t one of the new-fangled iPhones with the fancy cameras. It looked like s—; it was shot vertical; the whole thing was very amateurish. Except for the performance, which was intense and believable and just right.”

Before Pascal knew it, he found himself in Belfast, sitting inside the Great Hall of the Red Keep as one of the judges at Tyrion Lannister’s trial for the murder of King Joffrey. “I was between Charles Dance and Lena Headey, with a view of the entire f—ing set,” Pascal says, his eyes wide and astonished still at the memory. “I couldn’t believe I didn’t have an uncomfortable costume on. You know, I got to sit — and with this view.” He sighs. “It strangely aligned itself with the kind of thinking I was developing as a child that, at that point, I was convinced was not happening.”

And then it all started to happen.

In early 2018, while Pascal was in Hawaii preparing to make the Netflix thriller “Triple Frontier” — opposite his old friend Isaac — he got a call from the film’s producer Charles Roven, who told him Patty Jenkins wanted to meet with him in London to discuss a role in another film Roven was producing, “Wonder Woman 1984.”

“It was a f—ing offer,” Pascal says in an incredulous whisper. “I wasn’t really grasping that Patty wanted to talk to me about a part that I was going to play, not a part that I needed to get. I wasn’t able to totally accept that.”

Pascal had actually shot a TV pilot with Jenkins that wasn’t picked up, made right before his life-changing run on “Game of Thrones” aired. “I got to work with Patty for three days or something and then thought I’d never see her again,” he says. “I didn’t even know she remembered me from that.”

She did. “I worked with him, so I knew him,” she says. “I didn’t need him to prove anything for me. I just loved the idea of him, and I thought he would be kind of unexpected, because he doesn’t scream ‘villain.'”

In Jenkins’ vision, Max Lord — a longstanding DC Comics rogue who shares a particularly tangled history with Wonder Woman — is a slick, self-styled tycoon with a knack for manipulation and an undercurrent of genuine pathos. It was the kind of larger-than-life character Pascal had never been asked to tackle before, so he did something equally unorthodox: He transformed his script into a kind of pop-art scrapbook, filled with blown-up photocopies of Max Lord from the comic books that Pascal then manipulated through his lens on the character.

Even the few pages Pascal flashes to me over Zoom are quite revealing. One, featuring Max sporting a power suit and a smarmy grin, has several burned-out holes, including through the character’s eye. Another page features Max surrounded by text bubbles into which Pascal has written, over and over and over again in itty-bitty lettering, “You are a f—ing piece of s—.”

“I felt like I had wake myself up again in a big way,” he says. “This was just a practical way of, like, instead of going home tired and putting Netflix on, [I would] actually deal with this physical thing, doodle and think about it and run it.”

Jenkins is so bullish on Pascal’s performance that she thinks it could explode his career in the same way her 2003 film “Monster” forever changed how the industry saw Charlize Theron. “I would never cast him as just the stoic, quiet guy,” Jenkins says. “I almost think he’s unrecognizable from ‘Narcos’ to ‘Wonder Woman.’ Wouldn’t even know that was the same guy. But I think that may change.”

When people can see “Wonder Woman 1984” remains caught in the chaos the pandemic has wreaked on the industry; both Pascal and Jenkins are hopeful the Dec. 25 release date will stick, but neither is terribly sure it will. Perhaps it’s because of that uncertainty, perhaps it’s because he’s spent his life on the outside of a dream he’s now suddenly living, but Pascal does not share Jenkins’ optimism that his experience making “Wonder Woman 1984” will open doors to more opportunities like it.

“It will never happen again,” Pascal says, once more in that incredulous whisper. “It felt so special.”

After all he’s done in a few short years, why wouldn’t Pascal think more roles like this are on his horizon?

“I don’t know!” he finally says with a playful — and pointed — howl. “I’m protecting myself psychologically! It’s just all too good to be true! How dare I!”

#pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #variety magazine

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redrosesartcabin · 3 years

Text

Self indulgent series Part 2.2 (last part for now)

Life part 2

(And here’s the link to Life part 1: https://redrosesartcabin.tumblr.com/post/643294968092442624/self-indulgent-series-part-21 )

It was two months since they had been in New York City.

Y/n was recording her newest album in her favorite studio in Dublin. She had felt a little strange in the morning but had just brushed it off as being especially hungry after eating had made the strange feeling almost entirely disappear.

But as she was getting into recording the songs, she felt it come back, and this time much, much worse. It converted into illness.

And in the middle of the sentence, she just couldn’t do it anymore; she ran.

“Mrs.Kon”, the producer, Mrs.Long yelled, “where the fuck are you going? You can’t just-“, but she stopped herself as she heard the singer throw up in the toilet.

“Dear god”, she uttered, getting up from her seat as did the other musicians. They had already noticed something had been wrong with Red Rose. She was usually very much into her songs and nothing could break her from that, so her just running out was very concerning.

“Mrs.Kon. Are you ok?”, the producer asked carefully, standing before the stall. She felt bad for having cussed out the singer so quickly.

“Yeah, I’m fine”, y/n answered, slowly getting out of the cabin, “I must have caught some bad bug or something. I should better go… I don’t want to, but I really don’t want to spread whatever I have either”

“That’s probably a good idea. Let’s meet next week then. We’ll talk about when over the phone, I still need to check the schedule”

“Ok. Thank you so much!”

“No problem. Get well soon!”

That however didn’t happen. Over the next few days y/n continued throwing up in the morning. She also had to go to the toilet much more often, had terrible headaches in the evening and slight back pains. And on top of that she noticed her period had skipped.

Eventually she decided to google the symptoms… and it all lead to one thing. (Not cancer luckily like google usually did!) The first article that popped up was-

“Pregnant?!”, she yelled out to herself.

Could it be?

But after thinking it over there was just no other explanation for the collective of strangely specific symptoms.

Immediately, she got up, went to the pharmacy and bought three different pregnancy tests.

“I want to be sure. This wasn’t planned you know?”, she told the pharmacist who looked a little surprised.

“I hope it wasn’t just a fling”, the pharmacist answered.

“Oh god no! I’ve been together with my husband for eight years and we’ve been married for two and a half. I’m good on that front. We’re however very busy people and-“

“It’ll be fine”, the pharmacist reassured her, “you’ll see. A pregnancy won’t stop you from too many plans I’m sure”

“Yeah… thanks”, y/n smiled back nervously.

“No problem. And good luck!”

With wide eyes she looked at the three positive tests.

“Christ… I actually… wow”

She loved Kenji and he loved her, but it wasn’t the best timing.

“So what though?!”, she yelled at herself, “then I’ll drive to his set and we’ll talk. But what if he’s disappointed? What if he thinks it’s inconvenient? What if he’ll get so scared- NO, don’t even go there, y/n, how dare you?”, but still she felt nervous.

She almost felt like throwing up again but decided she didn’t vibe with that.

“I have to be strong”, she whispered to herself.

So, she packed her things and drove off.

“Mr.Kon, your wife is here”, one of the staff members told Kenji as he got ready for the next scene.

“Oh ok”, he answered clearly surprised. He was happy to see her, because of course he’d always be happy to have her near him, yet at the same time he was annoyed she didn’t talk to him about it. He had a tight schedule, and he wouldn’t be able to tend to her as much as he’d like to and as much as she’d deserve, “send her in please”

“I will sir”, the staff member answered and only a couple of seconds later she entered. She was beautiful and radiant as always, yet something about her felt a little off.

“Hello, my darling”, he greeted her and gave her a passionate kiss she only returned shyly “, what are you doing here?”, he asked a little too annoyed. He hadn’t meant to sound like that, but her strange return of affection rubbed him the wrong way together with the fact she hadn’t talked to him about coming.

“Can’t I come surprise visit you without going completely off the rails?!”, she asked unusually aggressive.

“I mean sure; But first of all, I didn’t go off the rails and secondly: the way you act you barely seem like you actually want to”

“Which is partly true”, she answered. For a moment a moment of shocked silence passed before he took a deep breath and asked, very passively aggressive.

“Now, what is that suppose to mean?”, but before she could answer he was called for the scene.

“We’ll talk about this later”, he answered, glaring at her, which she returned with an equally angry stare. Of course, in actuality, they were both pretty hurt by this short yet very heated conversation. He was hurt because she seemed to be angry at him for something and was only here to announce that and she was hurt because she hadn’t meant to be like that.

At first, she pretended she was mad at him and sat down on the stool he had sat on to get ready, almost fuming.

How dare he be annoyed she was here without announcing her presence! But the more she thought about it, the more she recognized she had messed up. She had converted her nervousness and fear into pure ratchetness to appear right in the situation. And the more that became clear, the more she felt tears build up. Her emotions were all over these days. She was an emotional person under normal circumstances, but with her condition it was even worse. When she had seen him after two weeks of not seeing him in person, she had wanted nothing kiss him and spend hours hanging around and whispering sweet nothings. And at the same time, she almost fainted with how nervous she was about this whole thing.

“Gosh I’m a mess”, she whispered and couldn’t hold back the tears.

Two hours later, Kenji had finished with the scene.

He stretched himself, cracking his neck and shoulders and putting on a serious expression.

He was ready to face whatever she was mad about, even if it hurt him, even if it wasn’t true.

Opening the door with a bit too much force, he felt how worked up he was. But as he saw his wife bawling her eyes out on the couch in the right corner of the room, his facade he had built up to prepare for an argument dropped.

He was confused and concerned. She wasn’t angry? What was wrong? Yet he also asked himself what had her in such distress.

He however didn’t dare to touch her yet.

“Darling?”, he asked softly instead, his right hand hovering over her.

She turned around in a quick motion and threw herself in his arms.

“I’m so so so so so sorry”, she whispered, “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have been like that”

“Hey, hey”, he answered, wrapping his arms around her protectively, “It’s ok. Just tell me what I did wrong”,

“That’s the thing: You did nothing wrong.”

“Then why were you so angry at me?”, he asked, genuinely confused

“I’m not angry at you: I’m scared”, she explained, barely able to say it.

“Why? Have you done something wrong?”, he asked

“No… or well a little maybe… I don’t know. It depends”

“Depends?”

“On if you will be ok with it”

“With what? For Christ’s sake y/n, talk to me” he said, frustrated at the guessing game.

She stepped back, looking at him and wearing a sad smile.

She opened her mouth slightly, but not a word came over her lips. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and finally she spoke, “I’m pregnant, Kenji”

Deafening silence filled the room. Kenjis mouth and eyes were wide open in shock and surprise and for a while, he himself felt he was at a loss for words or even thought as he heard his heart hammer in his chest.

“By me, right?”, he asked after a couple of minutes.

“Yes, by you! Geez … You seriously chose that as your answer?”, she retorted, disappointed at the reaction.

“Of course: Why else would you think I’d be angry at you for being god damn pregnant?”, he asked his voice loud and unusually squeaky

“I was scared you’d maybe find it inconvenient and-“

“Y/n! I told you a thousand times not too overthink too much!”, he scolded her, but with a smile that indicated it was meant in a fun and good-hearted spirit, “I love you. You are my everything. You and especially not a life we created together could ever be an inconvenience. I love you and even if we were still too young, or too poor or at war, I’d be happy.”

She started crying again, but this time of happiness.

“Gosh I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have doubted you again… I should really stop overthinking. I love you so much”, she answered and gave him a salty kiss he still gladly accepted.

After a couple of months (after the mark where it was sure the baby would live and a miscarriage was unlikely), Kenji and y/n announced the pregnancy publicly which was received with a lot of well wishes and happiness by the fans as well as the family.

Plus, Kenji announced he’d take a break from participating in acting roles for the last three months of Red Roses pregnancy as well as the first six months of the baby’s life.

‘I want to be there for my wife in the hardest times of the pregnancy and the beginning of our childs life to help her and me adjust to the life of a parent as well as bonding as a father’ which was also very much supported by most, though some thought it was stupid since income was needed with the expenses that came with having a child. Kenji however assured those that Red Rose, and him, had earned more than enough to live comfortably even with him not being active or as active as an actor for a little less than a year.

“So, you didn’t have the stomach flu back then?”, Mrs. Long had asked, amused as Red Rose had returned for the last recording session before the would go into maternity leave.

“Nope. Definitely not that”, y/n laughed as she carefully petted her now slightly, yet clearly rounded belly

Six months in, it was figured out they would be having a daughter. Kenji Kon and Red Rose however decided not to reveal the name until she was born.

“That’s bad luck where I’m from!”, Red had explained to her fans.

After that doctors visit Kenji had come home permanently for the time being. He had officially gone into “parenting vacations”, so to speak.

Y/n was happy he was going to be home for so long. She respected his work a lot and was fine with being alone for long periods of time, she had become tired of it real quick though as she advanced in her pregnancy with their daughter. Partly because moving around and about became more exhausting the more her belly grew, and she just felt she needed his support… but mostly because she was extremely hormonal. She missed him a lot more than usual…

It was a picturesque morning as y/n woke up by little kicks inside of her stomach.

‘She always does this’ she thought a little annoyed yet endeared. She loved feeling her daughter like that. It assured her again and again that she was alive and healthy.

“Good morning little one”, she whispered, knowing it was early and Kenji probably wasn’t awake yet, he was a long sleeper…

Kenji…. Kenji… thinking about him made her feel all giddy inside. She carefully turned around to face him (she found she was more faced away from him these days since she was very conscious of her belly not getting in the way of him being able to move around. He was a very active mover in his sleep, just like his unborn daughter).

He looked so peaceful as he gently breathed through his strong looking yet pointy nose. His hair looked perfect, as always. Only a couple of strands hung loosely from the top and low onto his forehand, which she honestly loved, because it made him look so… himself. He wasn’t all charming, not all dolled up and prepared to look perfect every second of the day. He was himself. Kenji and nobody else. Just like he was with her, but maybe even more relaxed. His lips were slightly open, though he wasn’t drooling this time. She had to hold back a giggle as she remembered several times where he woke up embarrassed and in denial.

“That’s just a humidity spot from the sweat we produce whilst sleeping” he had said with a childish pout and she had simply laughed.

She didn’t care, she loved him all the more for his faults even though he tried to deny them oftentimes.

Gosh… she loved him so much it almost hurt.

“Good morning, love”, Kenji heard his wife’s sweet voice as he slowly awoke.

“Good morning?”, he asked, his voice still a bit groggy. As he opened his eyes, his gaze immediately fell upon his wife.

She stood there, her blond hair shining y/h.c in late morning sunlight. Her pregnant form was in a comfortable looking, but still form hugging black dress, her lips were painted red and her eyes were framed in her iconic winged eyeliner.

She looked stunning.

Merit came forward slowly and put a tray that had some pancakes stacked on it, some orange juice and a cup of coffee on his lab.

“I woke up early and thought why not make you a nice bed-breakfast for my wonderful husband?”, she explained even though he didn’t ask, though he also couldn’t deny that he hadn’t wondered about that. He smiled in gratitude.

“Thank you, beautiful, I appreciate it”, he said, giving her a quick, but passionate kiss before digging in.

“I’ll go shopping-“, she started, but was immediately interrupted by a coughing Kenji, who in is hurry to stop her from going almost choked on the piece of pancake he had been chewing.

“No wait! I’ll go after breakfast. You’ve already been so kind to make this for me, you should really take it slow”

She giggled at that.

“I’m not that fragile darling. I’ve been shopping on my own last week when you were still at the shooting too.”

“All the more reason I should help you out now!”, he exclaimed. She swooned how adorable he was acting.

“Thank you darling”

“Anything for you”

“I’ll go sit in the garden for a bit then”, she said, trying to hide her blush. This had been one of these cheesy conversations that just made her head spin.

What a life.

(Warning: It’s getting a bit less Pg here, but I still wanted to keep this scene)

“WHY THE HECK DID I EVER ALLOW A D*CK TO ENTER ME!”, y/n screamed.

Labor was painful.

This was worse than anything she had ever felt.

It was the 16th of November 2028.

A week after what the doctors would predict was the birth, so pretty on time. Everything also seemed to go very well.

But still birthing was so painful.

She hated being alive right now.

She hated being a woman, which she honestly never had: Her periods were very kind to her, and she had never been disadvantaged in her life because of that… except right now.

And oh she LOATHED having been seduced by this mother*cker: Her husband.

That beautiful, charming man.

The devil himself in his holy form, impregnated her to make her suffer.

“I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN I SWEAR”, she screamed.

One of the nurses couldn’t hold back a snicker and thought, and luckily could refrain from saying out loud ‘that’s what they all say. And in two years they’re back with a new baby’

And of course, the nurse was right. And of course, y/n knew deep down she’d forget the pain later and have sex three weeks later, if not earlier.

Though not right now. Oh no, right now she’ll scream and blame him for her pain whilst crushing his hand.

The doctors had explained Kenji beforehand that y/n will be quite distressed, so he had been mentally prepared to be cussed out.

Though wow did he feel bad right now. And not because of the fact he thought his fingers would break any second.

Twelve hours later it was finally done: Their daughter was born.

Their red headed flame of joy: Tove Kon.

And as expected: When y/n got to lay her eyes on her, she immediately forgot the pain, because whatever she had just gone through brought this little angel to earth. An angel she had made with the man she had loved for over twelve years.

And Kenji… oh Kenji fell in love with a second girl. This, he said to himself, is the second love of his life. He’d do anything for her. He’d be there as much as she could. He wouldn’t become like his father.

“Are you ok love?”, y/n asked him concerned as he was laying, next to her, caressing their daughters little head. At first, he was surprised at that question but then noticed tears running down his cheeks.

“I just… I love her so much, but I’m afraid I’ll become like my father and I don’t want to. I want to love her and give all I can of myself”

Y/N smiled brightly at that. This man truly was so full of devotion and kindness.

“You won’t become him. You couldn’t: Because you love us too much. And that kind of love can’t be broken. You are you, not him. And if you even so much as stray a centimeter away I’ll make sure you stay, ok? I’ll take care of us and I know you will too”

“Thank you. I love you”

“As I love you”

(I’m so sorry, this stuff is so cheesy xD But I hope you liked it anyways. I really wanted to share this with you, just because I know that I’m pretty much the only one who writes Kenji x reader stuff and I spent so much time on this.

Also: If you are interested in the unedited, less Pg version, lemme know. Also don’t worry: They are either both underage or both adults in these scenes, so nothing to worry about)

#kenji camp cretaceous #kenji #kenji kon #kenji x reader #kenji kon x reader #jw cc #jurassic world camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous fanfiction #self indulgent #self indulgent af

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