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jaylaxies · 1 year

Text

REWRITE THE STARS

PAIRING: prince!jay x princess!fem reader

GENRE/CW: smut, fluff, unprotected sex, tub sex, slight biting and marking, mentions of royal balls, wars, slight mentions of blood and injuries, mentions of masquerade balls and marriage, mentions of heeseung

WC: 7032 words

SYNOPSIS: you had only been dreaming of the suitor’s ball ever since you had turned nineteen, ensuring that everything would be perfect on that very day. it was like a fairytale how you met this charming man, who so gracefully asked you for a dance with him, soon taking you out for a walk in the royal rose garden, making you fall for his charms. however, how would you take it once you realize that he’s the prince from your rival kingdom whom you’ve grown to adore so dearly?

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

A/N: hihi, angels! i’m back with another fic! i feel like i haven’t posted a jay fic in ages! this fic was a sfw fic i had written when i was seventeen, but i wished to share it with everyone now after a bit of editing and also adding a bit of spice to it! i hope y’all will enjoy this! :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all <3

A small smile graced your lips as you wandered deep inside the royal boutique, ball gowns of every colour and such intricate designs made it harder for you to select a design for yourself.

The royal suitor’s ball was a month away now, causing you to start preparing for it already. Now, this wasn't any ordinary ball, it was hosted by the most powerful kingdom out of three on the land of evander, the kingdom of Lavosta being the most powerful one, it had control over your kingdom, the kingdom of Azira and your rival kingdom, the kingdom of Nairid.

Nairid was ruled by king and queen park, they had a son, the heir to the throne who was born in the same year as you. Prince Park Jongseong, well known for his vast knowledge and graceful appearance, he was the next to be the king and was deemed perfect for the same.

Your kingdoms have been at war long before you were born, a truce was called not too long back as Lavosta had stopped sending resources to both the kingdoms, for the war had no positive outcome for their kingdom. But that didn't stop them from hating each other.

You continued searching for your gown as your elder brother joined you, “will you be wearing our kingdom colour for the ball?” Prince Heeseung asked, pointing at the royal blue gown your eyes were fixated on, he was two years older than you, and would be the one to take over the throne after your father.

“That would be too obvious, I'd fancy wearing something mysterious, and perhaps new instead,” you admitted as your gaze fell on a delicate black ball gown, the kind you had never seen before. Heeseung let out a small laugh, knowing all too well that you'll be adamant about getting that gown now.

And he was right, you chose the same gown and further asked the dress designer to make some changes in the design, adjusting it to your size for it to appear perfect.

Being the princess of Azira, you had to stay composed and portray your flawless etiquettes, no matter how tiring it got, you were adamant to give your best for your citizens. Nevertheless, the public loved you for you were — genuine and caring towards all despite the difference in their titles.

Giving your measurements to the royal tailor, you both rushed back to the palace for the supper. Your parents, the king and the queen questioned you about your preparations for the said ball, they seemed to be more intrigued than you were for the same, and you thanked the universe for getting such supportive parents.

You were nineteen, meaning that you would finally make your debut into the society as someone who's pursuing a suitor. Nineteen being the minimal age of allowance at the ball.

It was further discussed how Heeseung won't be attending the ball for he wanted to focus on studying for the time being, to be a successful successive king.

“I don't need to marry until I'm twenty three, as I'll take over by the time I’m twenty four,” he theorized.

The topic further shifted to Nairid, Prince Jongseong was to attend the ball as well, and you were warned to stay away from him, not that you needed to be told. You'd stay away from anything that could cause harm to your kingdom. You loved your people dearly.

The dinner soon concluded, and you were being prepped for the bed by your lady in waiting, named Anne, and slumber overtook you soon, dreams of finding your significant other overtook your brain, causing a small smile to crinkle onto your lips, an unfamiliar warmth filling up your body.

Far away in the land of Nairid, Prince Jongseong was going through the same procedures. For someone who's never paid attention to females other than being polite to them, he seemed to have a rather giddy feeling blooming up in him.

He had always been busy, learning about anything and everything he could, he craved knowledge, just like you did but he grasped more, saying it's essential for a king to know everything. Nevertheless, he enjoyed it.

Citizens adored him for being polite and understanding, helping them anytime he could. It brought him joy to see the citizens of his kingdom happy and comfortable in their own land.

That wasn't all though, Jongseong had a perfectly sculpted and fine-boned face, a body that can fight off any foe and eyes that could intrigue anyone.

He chose to wear black, just to maintain anonymity, as the theme for the year was masquerade, also because he fancied the colour black. He would not pursue just anyone, he would only write his name on the dance card of the woman he'd really be intrigued with, meaning he’d have very few dances, he’d have to keep in mind that this development would be important for his kingdom as his wife would become the queen once he becomes the king. With this thought, he fell into dreamland, a small smile lingering on his face.

Time passed by as all the royals kept on preparing for this big event. Three days before the event, you were busy guiding and packing all your essentials and luggage along with your lady in waiting. You were going there a day prior to settle in, and were going to leave as soon as the ball concluded, as it was a day-long journey from Azira to Lavosta.

Yet again, you were warned about Jongseong but it raised a slight problem, you had no clue what he looked like for you had never seen his portrait before, but you agreed to stay attentive nevertheless, staying away from anyone who wore his kingdom colours. You were promised to be shown his portrait as soon as it reached the palace for you to be more conscious of the successive balls you would be attending.

Meaning, you'll just have to guess his identity this particular time.

Soon you were on your way to your carriage, The King, Queen and Prince Heeseung, coming all the way out to see you off, “don't do anything naughty,” Heeseung giggled with a teasing smile causing everyone to laugh and for you to throw your handkerchief at him.

“What do you take me as?” You huffed with a pout, making him laugh even more.

You left Azira with a light heart, your ladies in waiting accompanied you along with guards to ensure safety.

While at Nairid, Jongseong faced the same problem, him being warned about your presence at the said ball without having any portrait to show him your features, only a description, which too wasn’t very particular about your features, nevertheless, he promised to stay alert and left for the ball, as it took a day to reach Lavosta from his kingdom too.

The journey was smooth and you were greeted by Queen Taeyeon of Lavosta as soon as you arrived at your destination, being on your best behaviour, you greeted her with a respectful bow as she gracefully smiled at your beauty, asking about your parents and their health.

Soon you were being escorted to your chamber and were free to rest for the day, taking in the beautiful scenery at the palace.

Jongseong arrived a while later, going through the same procedures, except his chamber was in the opposite direction of the grand palace. To say that everyone was nervous would be an understatement, attending such events meant being judged for even the minute details considering how everyone expects the best from the suitors.

Now that both the big kingdoms had sent their royal heirs, the expectations rose to an even higher level. The talks about your beauty and cleverness were all around the palace along with how Jongseong had a perfect face and appreciating worthy etiquettes.

You had been in your chamber the whole day, resting and calming down your racing heart, also noticing all the differences between your kingdom and here.

When it didn't stop, you decided to take a stroll to the famous rose garden of the palace. It was empty, just as you expected it to be and you were glad to be getting some time out in nature while the stars glistened, you had asked your guards to stay back at the entrance.

After a brief half hour of strolling and blessing your eyes with the prettiest roses you had ever come across, you decided to go back to your chamber. A sudden moment made you halt your steps, you hid your face with your handkerchief, enough to cover your face so that no one would recognize you.

“Is someone out there?” You started speed walking and turned back for a moment to see a stiletto standing there, staring at you with curiosity. That was enough to make you leave.

Prince Jongseong had seen you, or better, the shadowed face of you considering the lack of light during the nighttime.

His curiosity piqued as he didn't expect anyone to be awake this late at night, someone who would look beautiful even in the darkness, someone who’s charm spread all over the place with just their existence.

Soon enough, he left as well, just to look presentable for the big event tomorrow. Exhaustion overtook you both and sleep came to you easily.

The day of the suitors ball had finally arrived, everyone was in a frenzy to ensure that it went by smoothly. You were a nervous wreck, just as your ladies in waiting were. They made sure to get you ready and ensured to not even let a hair out of place, you had to look perfect enough to be every suitor's dream in order to catch the attention of someone who would be beneficial for your kingdom.

As soon as you entered the ball room, all eyes turned to look at you. Few of the reasons being — firstly, you were the only one with a black gown and, secondly, you looked beautiful even with a mask covering half of your face, grace dripping off your movements. Giving them a hesitant smile, you moved inside.

Jongseong made his entrance after a few minutes, you noticed how he was the only one other than you who wore black, and that his mask did nothing to hide his sharp jawline not to mention how his neck had a small heart shaped birthmark, similar to the one on your left clavicle. Your eyes couldn’t leave his figure.

You, being observant, noted how he walked with a perfect posture and his strides were confident, more confident than any other person you saw here. The man made you want to talk to him, approach him.

The royal dance commenced and several royals were quick to approach you for dance, writing their names on your dance card. You politely declined many of them, dancing with only two you found worthy enough as your mind kept wandering back to the guy in black.

He had noticed you too, your bold choice of colour intriguing him enough to muster up his courage to ask you for a dance.

“May I have the honour of dancing with you, my lady?” He asked, not knowing your title of being a princess and you kept it that way.

“I’d be glad to, sir,” you responded with a smile.

He didn't write his name on your dance card, you both did not even as much as ask for each other's name, saying how this anonymity made you both more curious.

He gently held on to your hand, placing his other hand on your waist and pulling you closer, close enough for you to take in his scent.

It was exquisite and unfamiliar.

Not a lot of words were exchanged during the dance, but you didn't fail to notice how light his hold was on your waist, as if he didn't want to cross any boundaries and you were truly grateful for that, but didn‘t stop your heart from beating fast.

“Shall we go for a stroll to the rose garden, my lady?” He offered soon after the melody had concluded.

You hesitated leaving the ball, however, something about this stranger made you want to break your rules just a snitch.

You agreed and made your way out with him.

As you both walked, you suddenly asked, “what should I call you, sire?”

He chuckled softly at your sweet voice and replied, “you can call me Jay, it's not my real name though.”

Only his friends called him Jay and no one else knew about this nickname of his. You nodded, acknowledging this before saying his name out, testing how it rolled off your lips.

“Can I call you queen?” he suddenly asked.

“Queen? Why so?” you asked, slightly confused.

“You have a strong and beautiful aura, which reminds me of how a queen should be,” he explained and it made you smile.

“Then you shall do it,” you said, trying to calm your racing heart.

You both reached a bench and sat down, gazing at the night sky. You removed your mask softly and Jay turned to look at you, mesmerized how elegant you looked even in the dim light of the night sky, your face lighting up in the moonlight.

“You're beautiful,” he blurted out without realizing what he said.

You laughed and thanked him, it made you feel better about yourself. Soon enough he removed his mask too and god he was beautiful.

“You look divine,” you spoke and he thanked the night for hiding his blush before he thanked you for the compliment.

And then you talked about your likes and dislikes, favourite colours and hobbies but never once came the topic of kingdoms.

A part of you both knew that maintaining anonymity could cause you to never meet again but you both promised to attend the yearly ball taking place just two weeks after this one. The ball which the public is allowed to attend too.

You decided that you liked him, he made you feel at ease, he felt the same but you both decided to keep these newfound feelings to yourself for now. The rest of the ball was spent the same way and you wouldn't change it for the world. Soon it was time to leave.

“I'll wait for you,” Jay said, looking forward to the next ball.

“I'll be there,” you promised. He bent down slightly, looking into your eyes with a soft glint before he gave you a small peck on your forehead, soon shying away. That's how you bid each other goodbye, butterflies filling up your lower abdomen.

All the time on your way back, you kept thinking about him, excited to tell your parents about him. Your ladies in waiting teased you for falling so fast but you didn't care. You felt happy.

Jay felt attached already, he felt that you'd become a great queen for him not just because he liked you, but he knew how intelligent you were from the conversations you had. It was no secret that both of you were attracted to knowledge, a small smile on his face as he looked at the beauty of trees outside from his carriage.

When you reached Azira, you told your parents and Prince Heeseung all about the ball, they were happy for you but your mother had a bad feeling about this, which she hid behind her smile.

Heeseung jokingly called you stupid for not asking his name and you agreed a bit on that part.

A few days had passed by, you were indulged in your daily work and classes as a princess. Your lady in waiting informed you that Prince Jongseong's portrait had reached your palace, now you would finally know who to stay away from. A bad feeling made you want to not go and check the same, but you did so for your safety as you reached your chamber and asked your lady in waiting to show you the said portrait.

You froze as you saw Jay's face on it. Putting the puzzle together, you finally understood how big of a mistake you had made, hand on your mouth as you stood there sadly.

Did he know you? Did he do it on purpose? Disappointment overtook you and yet you didn't want to blame him before knowing his side of the story, you couldn‘t understand why you felt this way, especially when you had met him only once before.

Maybe you were worried about this being a plan, or a betrayal, but the sincerity you saw in his eyes that day said otherwise.

You sighed, asking your lady in waiting to prepare a bath for you as you needed something which would help you relax.

Meanwhile at Nairid, Prince Jongseong had already seen your portrait a day before you saw his portrait. His heart was heavy, he never once considered you to be from Azira, for he was told that people from your kingdom were ones who are rude and boastful, and he had already made plans to make you his queen. He decided to confront you about this during the next ball, unsure if you would come or not.

Your mom figured out that the guy you met was Prince Jongseong due to your recent dull aura. As a queen and a mother, she called you over, holding you close and later, asking you to get over him before leaving, telling you how this relationship cannot ever be successful.

“He’s from a completely different world, Y/N, I’m sorry,” she said before letting you go and attend the ball which you had been waiting for, while also being nervous about it.

With a shaky breath, you got inside your carriage for the ball. You weren't sure if he would attend. Nor were you sure of what you'd say if you meet him there. Many princes had sent you proposals after the suitors' ball but you turned all of them down without second thoughts, only one man being in your heart.

Jongseong arrived on the day of the ball so you couldn't meet him before that. Your eyes searching for him since the day you had arrived, gulping when you didn‘t see him, relieved and sad at the same time, however, you had to control your emotions if you were to find him.

On the day of the ball, you took your sweet time in getting ready for the same, drawing everyone’s eyes again, face on display for the public to see as you bowed down slightly when the announcer announced your title to the ball.

He had spotted you instantly, learning your name and his eyes fixated on your figure, which this time wore a royal blue gown, your kingdom’s colour. While he wore emerald green, his own kingdom’s colour.

“Princess Y/N, can we talk for a moment?" He approached you almost instantly, gaining attention from others as they murmured about the two of you being together despite the differences in your kingdoms, but he maintained his composure.

You gulped and nodded, excusing yourself from the ladies you were talking to with a nervous smile, not looking into his eyes as you followed him silently.

You both reached the rose garden in a few minutes, “so, Prince Jongseong, I see you know me already,” you started, tone being accusatory.

“I learned about you a few days back when I was shown your portrait, I would not lead you on otherwise, princess,” he explained, sounding sorry.

Him being warned about you made you feel sad, but you had gone through the same thing, which made you realize how you can’t ever be with him.

“I learned about you quite recently as well, I'm disappointed that the circumstances turned out to be this way, Prince Jongseong, I cannot let my kingdom down,” you sighed, forming your sentences carefully.

“I'll take my leave early today, but before leaving, can I ask for something from you, princess?” It was so wrong and he knew it, but he would regret not doing this otherwise, his heart racing, blood rushing to his cheeks as he could not control his emotions anymore.

“What is it that you could want from me, prince?” You questioned, looking into his eyes which made your cheeks heat up.

“A kiss,” he breathed out and your eyes widened.

“I know it's wrong, princess, but I am certain to regret it if I don't kiss you,” he spoke softly.

For the first time in your lives, you both weren't thinking from your minds.

You were thinking from your hearts.

And so you nodded, allowing him to do so with a shaky breath, and soon his lips touched yours in a delicate kiss. That's how both of you lost your first kiss under the dim moonlight, heartbeats in sync with how your lips moved against each other, tingling with the feeling of being so close to each other.

As soon as the kiss broke, you turned away. Not feeling the need to stay at the ball anymore, Jay called out your name in desperation but you didn’t stop, tears forming in your eyes.

You had kissed a man you’d never be able to marry.

Reaching your chamber, you asked your guards and ladies in waiting to get ready to leave and before you knew it, you were returning back to Azira.

Little did you both know that the queen of Lavosta had seen your little escapade from her grand balcony's telescope. An idea formed in her mind to end the rivalry of both the kingdoms once and for all.

Two days after returning from the ball, Prince Jongseong was called to his father's chamber. His father, the king, had an unreadable expression resting on his face.

“Tell me, son. Why does Queen Taeyeon want you to get married to the princess of Azira?” He finally asked.

Jongseong's breath hitched, eyes widening at his father’s question.

“The queen sent a letter, it briefly mentioned that you were spotted with princess Y/N,” he explained. He wasn't disappointed, all the king wanted was for his son to be safe.

“I'm sorry, father,” Jongseong apologized in a whisper.

“It's not your fault son, the queen has ordered you to get married to princess Y/N without thinking how it will affect our kingdom,” he sighed, looking at his queen with a troubled couple expression.

“I will not marry her.” It hurt him to say this, but he wouldn't let the citizens suffer, also remembering how you ran away after he had kissed you, and maybe you wouldn‘t want to see him ever again.

While in your kingdom, you had gotten the same letter and your parents were worried, knowing how this could be harmful for you and your whole kingdom. So, you had decided the same thing, to say no to the proposal laid out by Queen Taeyeon.

Your brother looked at you with a sad face.

“I'm so sorry, Y/N,” your mom said, hugging you.

Now all that was left to decide was how to let the queen know that you had declined the proposal. It would affect your relationship with her kingdom.

You quietly sobbed in your chambers, wanting nothing more than to be with Prince Jongseong, calling yourself stupid for wanting to be so selfish.

A few days later, queen Taeyeon of Lavosta got both letters saying that both kingdoms had declined the proposal. She knew it wouldn't last long, and this would be the outcome.

“Queen,” a guard entered her chambers, bowing down to show respect to the most powerful queen among the three big kingdoms.

“We found out a spy, he revealed a few plans after we forced him to,” he said.

“What is it about?” she asked.

“They’re planning to attack Azira in a few days,” he informed.

Her guards informed her about the speculations of a foreign king planning to attack Azira, telling her about everything he knew and she took her time to plan ways to help her neighbouring kingdom.

She decided to make a profit out of it alongside, knowing exactly who would be willing to help your kingdom.

She got a letter delivered to Nairid for Prince Jongseong. All that was written in the said letter were the words: princess Y/N is in danger, reach to her with your soldiers as soon as you can.

The letter was successful in getting him restless. Even if he had opposed everything about your kingdom, he had fallen for you and he'd most certainly won't let anything happen to you.

So, he told his father, who hesitantly agreed to help him when he saw that the letter came from queen of Lavosta herself, he also knew that Jongseong was intelligent and wouldn't rush his decisions.

He trusted his son.

He sent Jongseong along with an army of guards to help your kingdom. He would have thought of the letter as a filthy prank had it not come directly from queen Taeyeon.

They set off for their journey to Azira as fast as it was possible, Prince Jongseong led the army with speed, riding his horse as his heart raced with the fear that he won‘t be able to see you if he’ll be late by even a second. A determined expression on his face, jaw clenched and eyes sharp.

While in Azira, everything was calm. Too calm to be normal. For a whole day, no one had visited the palace except for the royal family and their workers. The market was shut down and the town was empty, as if everyone knew that something terrible was going to happen.

A day passed by, Prince Jongseong traveled without stopping and was near your kingdom by the time the enemy had attacked, aiming directly for the palace as the others attacked the town. Soon, the whole army of guards were fighting against the enemy soldiers, you and Heeseung helped the guards as you had mastered using the swords and you insisted on helping.

The king and the queen were made sure to be in the safest place surrounded by the most skilled guards.

Yet, the enemies outnumbered your guards as they mercilessly killed people. You had a long scratch on your skilled hand which made it harder for you to keep up, your protective covering was damaged as well.

Soon, you heard a commotion outside the palace, you had no clue as to what it was till you spotted Jay with his soldiers. He had come to help you despite the unfavorable circumstances of your kingdoms. You didn’t get a chance to even smile at the sight before you had to grab your sword again and attack at the enemy coming close to you.

You were distracted, causing another injury on your shoulder blade, thankfully it wasn't enough to potentially injure to the point you would faint. Jay had spotted you, rushing right into the palace to find you and he ran over to you.

“Princess,” he said breathlessly, cupping your cheeks.

“Prince,” you replied, breathless as well, but this interaction was short-lived as you were attacked yet again.

Jay slashed the man in one go, mentally promising himself to not let anyone harm you, eyes dark as he saw your injuries. It went on for a few hours but yours and Jay's army outnumbered their soldiers, winning the war, he never once left your side.

Until Jay saw your father getting targeted by a man who somehow survived the war, he ran and covered your father, the king. The sword pierced right through him, making him go limp in a few seconds.

You let out a scream while Prince Heeseung killed the last man standing, ending the war finally, breathing hard.

Your father was stunned to see Jay giving himself out for him. You pressed your hand on his wound, applying pressure, crying and calling out for the royal medic to tend him. Soon, he was taken into the medic ward, leaving you out. All you could do was pray, pray for him to be fine and alive. Your father sent many medics all over the kingdom to tend to the others who were injured.

Lastly he sent a letter to Nairid, to the king, to let him know that Jay was injured. He wanted to end the war for all now. He would call truce as soon as the other king would arrive here. It had been hours, yet no response from the medics who were busy treating Jay.

You were taken back to your chamber despite your wailing and were made to freshen up, your eyes swollen, body covered in blood and heart breaking as you imagined how Jay would be, as soon as you entered the medic chamber, you saw Heeseung by Jay's limp body.

“He’s alive, just unconscious,” Prince Heeseung informed you and you thanked the gods, a tear sliding down your cheek.

“You should get married to him, you know?” Prince Heeseung said with a smile, approving the relationship.

“Only if he would want to,” you sadly said, not sure of what to expect, “he almost got killed saving us,” you sobbed, looking at him.

Prince Heeseung gave you a sad smile as your parents entered the chamber as well, their little injuries made you even sadder.

“Prince Jongseong, how can we thank him?” your father spoke, asking no one in particular, showing how grateful he's for Jongseong. Yet, he was sad to see him suffering because of him.

He laid there unconscious, still looking like an angel. A day passed by and you never once left his side. You softly kept muttering how thankful you were to him, wiping his face with a soft wet cloth.

“I think I like you, Prince Jongseong,” you whispered, thinking that he wouldn't hear, a feeling of warmth bloomed up in your body as you finally said it out loud.

As soon as you said that, the gates of the chamber opened, revealing Jongseong's father and mother. You bowed down, showing respect to the king and queen of Nairid.

You were quick to apologize for everything that had happened here and to their son, the queen keeping a hand on your shoulder to tell you that it was fine, and you were not at fault.

They made you feel welcome despite the long rivalry your kingdoms had.

They stayed by Jay, deeply worried and sad seeing their future king and son in this state, muttering how proud they are and how brave he is.

They further met your parents, who had come to the chamber as well. explaining the whole story to them, they called in truce even before your father could say a word.

They hugged each other, looking like they've been friends for their whole life and it gave you hope, hope of being with Jay.

They decided to stay at Azira till Jay woke up and soon you were alone with him again in the medic ward. You gently caressed his hair while staring into nothingness.

“So princess Y/N likes me,” suddenly a voice said, scaring you.

You saw that Jay was awake, your eyes widening, a big teasing smile on his face.

Without thinking anything, you hugged him with a shaky breath.

“Ouch!” He let out as his wound was still healing.

“Oh! I'm so sorry,” you said moving back, careful to not hurt him again, he let out a laugh and squeezed you into another hug, making you smile softly as you teared up again, butterflies rising in your stomach, and before you could do much, he was sent to freshen up by the medics, you sat there, waiting for him.

“Are you stupid? Why did you come here? You got injured, Jay–” your little rant ended as he put his hand on your mouth.

You had started complaining as soon as he returned after freshening up.

“Wow, no one has called me stupid before,” he said as if it was an achievement, caressing your cheek slightly, making your stomach tingle.

You sighed, shaking your head and hugged him again with a pout on your lips.

“I like you too princess. I came to ensure your safety. I still have to marry you, you know?” He spoke softly, hoping that you won't reject his proposal.

He wanted to marry you, the mere thought of it made you smile as you leaned back to look at him.

“You want to marry me?” You questioned, staring at him with big doe eyes.

“Only if you allow me to, princess,” he said with a smile, hoping you'd say yes.

“I can never say no to you, prince,” you truthfully said as he captured your lips to his, both of you smiling into the kiss as his hand rested on your waist, his eyes glistening while he looked at your face.

Needless to say, everyone was overjoyed with this news, well, it did take time for citizens of both the kingdoms but they did mend their relationships. And in the blink of an eye came the day of your engagement. Jay had ensured for your attires to look the same as the ones you wore at the masquerade ball, the day you first met, just with different colours.

He looked at you with such pure eyes, holding nothing but adoration for you and only you. After exchanging engagement rings, Jay whispered an “love you” near your ear, making your heart flutter. You subtly whispered “and I love you” back to him causing him to break out into a big smile.

Citizens were happy to see you both jovial together. Your brother kept sending you teasing smiles. Your parents were beaming, matching the smiles of Jay's parents. Lastly, Queen Taeyeon of Lavosta sat there with a proud smirk, she was glad to see you together. Afterall, she was the one to initiate this in the first place.

The ceremony was grand, your eyes going around the venue, trying to capture everything into your memory forever, the reception being even more grand as the royals from all neighbouring kingdoms had come to bless you two with their pure hearts.

“Princess,” Prince Jongseong whispered in your ear when no one was paying attention to you both, enjoying themselves.

“Yes?” You asked softly, a feeling of shyness covering your tone.

He looked at you with adoration, “the gods must really love me,” he spoke, “I prayed for you to be mine, and now, you are my princess,” he whispered.

With your palpitating heart and love filled eyes, you softly said, “I think god loves us both then.”

His eyes widened slightly once he heard you, and he had to use his whole willpower to stop himself from kissing you right then and there.

He couldn’t wait to have you alone with him.

Once the ceremonies were over, you looked over to your parents, saddened by the fact that you won't be living with them anymore.

Prince Jongseong took your hand and placed it on his arm gently, giving you a reassuring smile as you both made your way towards his chamber, your breathing was heavy as you tried not to think about how you would be sharing Prince Jongseong’s chamber with him from now onwards.

“You must be exhausted, princess. You should clean up first,” he suggested, extending his hand towards the door that separated the bathing area.

You were all alone, the water already warm, set perfectly to take bath by the maids who had come priorly to ensure that you both won’t be needing anything else later on.

However, you seemed to have trouble opening the knot of the corset you had worn, leaving you frustrated as you couldn’t ask for help from anyone else.

With heated cheeks, you called out for the prince.

Prince Jongseong hadn’t expected that you would call out for him, and so, he rushed into the bathing chambers to check whether you required any help.

“Yes, princess?” He asked, breathless once he looked at your hair, which were no longer in a bun, only the accessories still decorated them, his heartbeat rose at your next words.

“Could you please help me take this off?” You asked softly, brushing your hair away from your back to show him the knot.

He came closer, his warm fingers rested on your bare arm as the other one pulled on the string, loosening your corset until it was fully off. His warm breath fanned your neck, his deep voice taking your name in a soft whisper.

“Tell me to go, princess, or else I won’t be able to control myself,” he said, face red and eyes on your figure, which was just in a thin white slip.

You had never felt this way before, your knees felt weak and you did not wish for the price to leave.

“Don’t go,” you whispered out, turning to look at him, “please?”

“Come here,” he said, guiding you towards the royal bath tub.

You did not remove your slip as you walked down the stairs and into the warm water, goosebumps covering your skin at the pleasurable feeling.

You sat down with a low sigh leaving your lips, eyes opening to look at your prince, chest rising up and down once you saw him unbuttoning his blazer, taking off all his clothes.

With a gasp, you looked away, not wanting to invade his privacy and look at him. You were flustered, an indescribable feeling rose up in your lower abdomen.

He soon got into the water, coming close to you. You could see the scars from the battle on his perfectly sculpted body when you turned towards him, the water covering his stomach. His arms flexed when he extended them, calling you in to be in his arms.

Your steps were slow, and his eyes dropped down to see your wet white slip sticking to your body, revealing everything to him, causing him to groan and pull you closer by the waist.

“Do you have any clue how long I’ve wanted you all to myself?” He asked, his fingers on your chin making you look up to him and gulp.

He could have sworn you were the prettiest person he had ever laid his eyes on, your innocent and shy gaze made him go crazy.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, “because if you say yes now, then I won’t be able to stop later.”

“Yes,” you breathed out.

In the span of a millisecond, he leaned forward and his lips were on yours. He tasted exactly like the cherry wine you had earlier, your hand on his chest keeping you stable before he deepened the kiss, titling your head so softly as his tongue tasted your mouth, humming and swirling his tongue around yours.

He leaned back for a second to look at your expression, he was mesmerized, thumb caressing your cheek before he made you both sit down, placing you on his lap, the water reaching your neck as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“I wanted you from the day I saw you, princess,” he whispered, kissing your jaw softly, holding your waist tighter.

“I’ve prayed so much to have you,” you confessed, breathing hard as you shifted on his lap, feeling his length between your thighs.

A soft sigh left your lips, his lips never leaving yours, his hands slowly moving up to touch and get familiar with every inch of your body.

He helped you get out of your slip, breath hitching as he took in your appearance, all wet and naked, breathing hard as you tried to get close to him. He wanted you.

Pulling you up, he did not waste a second before he touched your breasts, kissing and giving them all his attention. Your eyes closed shut at the sensation, soft whines leaving your lips as your hand rested on the back of his head.

“Want you,” you moaned.

“Let me know if it hurts,” he said, cupping your face, “look at me.”

He picked you up by your waist, positioning himself so that you’re just above his tip, your eyes never left his as you slowly sinked down on his cock, stretching your hole as you clenched around him, eyes closing as you felt it all.

He pulled you in a rushed kiss, slowly helping you move up and down, both of you breathing hard as you leaned your forehead against his, gripping on the hair on his nape, noses touching while you breathed the same air.

You leaned in, slowly kissing on his supple skin as you continued with your movements, his breathy groans sounding like melody to you.

His face had a look of euphoria, lower lip bitten when he pulled you in closer, moving his hips in sync with yours, the water felt warmer now, the area steamy and you could only focus on the man in front of you.

He dug his fingers deeper into your waist, helping you move up and down as your lips left noises of pleasure.

“I cannot believe you’re mine,” he breathed, stunned by your beauty and how dizzy it made him feel.

“I’ve always wanted to be yours,” you replied, eyes full of love as he held you closer when you clenched around him, thighs shaking and your high was near.

Jay couldn’t help but kiss your lips again, as if he was obsessed with them, obsessed with you.

Loud whines and deep groans filled the bathing area as you and him chased your high, him pulling you into his arms to calm down, tracing your spine and kissing your shoulder softly while you wrapped your arms around him and snuggled closer.

“I love you, princess,” he confessed, causing you to move back to look at him.

Tears filled your eyes with the amount of happiness that surged through you with his sentence.

“I love you too, prince,” you said, capturing his lips in a slow, sweet kiss.

And to end this royally, it was safe to say that they lived happily ever after.

THANK YOU FOR READING <3

#fic : rewrite the stars #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #jay smut #kpop smut #romance #smut #jay hard hours #enhypen imagines #enhypen fanfiction #park jay smut #jake smut #heeseung smut #sunghoon smut

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catgirl-kaiju · 3 months

Note

whats the best dinosaur

do not ask me such an evil question as to choose between all of these precious angels whom i love so dearly

#ask #anon #palaeoblr

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veras1ne · 9 months

Text

༉‧₊˚. “Devil in Disguise.”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Summary 🕊️: Smut but not necessarily any plot! Proceed with caution this is your checkpoint! I am not responsible for any media you decide to consume <3

🫧➷ Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x AFAB!Reader (Apologies that this one isn’t Gender Neutral! Based on my own personal life it’s just easier for me to write AFAB smutfics).

: ̗̀➛ WARNINGS🪷: Your warnings are as followed 🦢 Explicit smut, PIV, fingering, corruption kink, religion used in a NSFW way, creampie, virgin!reader

🫧Thank you for all the love recently! I love interactions so please please PLEAAAASE if you literally have anything to say put it into my inbox I love answering asks <3

💌Thank you to the dearest and loveliest @fuckmyskywalker for the lovely little reblog sesh we had on this and what I’d say is their own little sparkle to this fic. I love Anya so much and it would be greatly appreciated if you checked them out aswell <3

You were still unsure of how you ended up in this position.

Anakin’s fingers were buried deep inside your sopping cunt as he hiked up your shirt in order to expose your chest. His lips were working on a particularly sweet spot just below the crook of your neck, his tongue swirling languidly over it. You were sure it would leave a mark, one that was visible and harsh, and at the very least would leave you waking up and wondering what devil had taken advantage of you the night prior.

The devil in question, though, was your sweet, loving boyfriend, one to whom you had promised your life and love, but not before making him very aware that it was in your motives to wait ‘til marriage, and still, you had ended up with your Bible in hand, being forced to read verse by verse as he fucked you stupid. Not that it really mattered anymore, though, given that his body and his fingers were moving so well inside your tight hole. "Read Hebrews 13:4 back to me, baby. Don’t be shy; you and I both know that if this were such a sin, God wouldn’t have placed your perfect body in the hands of a sinner like myself, would he?" His words were getting lost in an orgasmic haze as he thrust them into you again and again, each one bringing forth more bliss than the last. "Let marriage be held in honor among all." Your voice cracked as your moans slipped through your words.

As you tried to hide in the bedsheets, a hand took reign of your hair, pulling it back to look back on your Bible, the one Anakin had commissioned to be made for you, highlighted and bookmarked with your favorite verses. "Come on, Angel. You know you can do it; just one more for me, and I’ll let you cum on my cock." The rasp in his voice rang out in your ears, making you whimper and writhe under his grasp, with only his hand lodged in your hair holding you in place.

As you regained your composure, you looked around in a frenzy in order to find your place on the page: "And let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Your voice was high-pitched and whiny, essentially pleading for him to give you what you so desperately lusted after. He could never refuse you anything, and even though you loved him dearly, you knew that, but he did love you too much to give himself fully over to your every whim. "What a good little dove you are, letting me corrupt you under God’s watchful eye." His fingers worked their way out of your cunt as he rolled away from you, leaving a sickening trail of your fluids connecting to his fingers as he brought them up to his lips to taste you.

The sight of him licking your juices off of them gave you goosebumps, and you remembered that the cool metal of his promise ring was inside of you just moments ago. "Don’t worry, baby; you should know I keep my promises." His breath fanned against your ear as he moved your body to face him; instead of being met with lacy white sheets, your eyes were met with his watercolor blue irises. "Such a good little whore for me. Imagine if those at your church knew all about the things that you let me do to you." His smile was smug, knowing you would do anything for him, even if it meant exchanging your place in heaven for his fingers that brushed so elegantly against the inside of your thighs or how his body fit so perfectly against yours like a missing puzzle piece.

The sound that escaped your lips was somewhere between a moan and a sob. You were unable to deny the feelings that washed over you when he teased your clitoral area relentlessly, preparing and distracting you from the stretch of his cock that was briefly painful. You had known Anakin long enough to understand what he intended, yet you could not help yourself. "Please, please take me now." Your body shook in anticipation as his cock finally bottomed out, eliciting another sharp cry from your lips at the sensation.

A few deep breaths seemed to momentarily calm your mind down as he held you and soothed you.

Even in the most blasphemous and downright sinful situations that you and Anakin had gotten yourselves into before, he had always made sure to care for you and match your energy and level of comfortability.

Your hand had squeezed his, letting him know that you were ready for what came next, as your body had tensed up once again as he began slowly fucking you hard, his hand cupped in yours and your lips pressed firmly against his. Oh, my God, Ani," you breathed out, his dick pumping in and out of you. "God can’t save you now, my angel. Don’t beg for mercy from him; you need to beg for me." His speaking was sloppy and breathy, and his pace got increasingly faster as he chased his own high. “Please, Anakin, I’m going to cum.." A string of whines and pleas slipped past your lips as his hand caressed your cheek lovingly.

Your hips lifted to meet his thrusts as he continued fucking you furiously, his fingers digging deeper into your hips as he pulled out and plunged back in forcefully.

A overwhelming sensation overcame your body as you reached your thighs, quivering at the pleasure and roughness of Anakin’s movements, with his falling close behind you seconds later. His teeth latched onto your shoulder in order to bite softly, his grip tightening ever so slightly as he let go of you to come deep inside of you. Anakin groaned as he came undone in your embrace, removing his cock from inside you and lying beside you, just holding your now tired and sweaty body in his arms. "I love you, Angel. Thank you for trusting me with this." He smiled at you and rubbed your sides, allowing you to still come down from your post-orgasmic haze. "I love you so much, Ani." Your voice reassured him, and you took his hand and led him to your bathroom. Allowing the steam of your shower to clear your senses, you quickly became aware of all the marks on your body that your dearest lover had left on you.

“Anakin, we have church tomorrow."

#veras1ne #anakin smut #star wars x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #star wars #・❥verababbles

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inmyheadimobsessed · 1 year

Text

More Than I Should {pt. 3}

pairing: riri ✘ black!fem!reader

summary: in riri's mind of monsters, you were an angel. an angel whose attention she begrudgingly vied for. god, she didn't even know the extent in which she needed it — needed you, until you made yourself inaccessible.

word count: 12.9k (just eat the food)

chapter contents: riri being a grumpster as usual, but also kinda soft?, mentions of riri having nightmares, riri and keem are besties y'all, they love each other (YIKES!!), hakeem is actually a funny lil dude, riri is kinda emotionally closed off and getting clocked by her conscience?, riri being in denial, very hot and cold, very down bad (her feelings beating her ass), zariri being cute (sorry to their haters), smoking, riri spiraling a lil bit, reader avoiding riri

tags: @verachii @cjariot @blackgcomica @n7cje @mocha-aya @uhwhatsay @shinsousliya @bratydoll @shuriri4life @axailslink @chidinma @percsane @generallysapphic @mbakuetshurisprincess @quintessencewrites @adeola-the-explorer @dejaonline @bubshri @zayswriting @vixentheplanet @prettymrswright @shurisjournal @shurismainbxtch @cafehyunji @bigbigbigfan @andibecamethestars @saintwrld @mysticalmarss @sweetalittleselfish-honey @marsolgy @randomhoex @chatitajens @cuddl3s4shur1 @abenomeiiii @6-noir @melanated-queens @yamsthoughts @lppriceisright @shuriislut @playgurlxoxo @kya-rose @shuriszn @lluvstrksl4t

divider by: @firefly-graphics

note: okay! and we back! i know it's been a minute, but i had to take my time. can't believe i'm finally posting pt. 3 ooh! i really like this chapter and it lays the groundwork for specific things i have planned for future parts. writing from inside riri's head kinda beat my ass though cause she DID NOT want me to tell y'all her tea, but we came to a compromise. reader isn't really in this chapter physically until the very end, but riri be thinking bout her when she brushing her teeth! sorry to the hakeem haters, that's my pookie! zariri hive up! (literally just me) i hope youse enjoy this, she's lengthy (big shocker) but it's justifiable this time cause i've been starving y'all. anyway, mwah mwahh!!

dedicated to my baby, whom i love dearly, @zayswriting more than i should #1 fan™️

↬ series masterlist

Sleeping; it's the body's way of recharging, the body's way of healing. For most people, sleep was tranquil, with dreaming coming as a necessary escape. Far removed from reality, there was to be solace in slumber — for most.

Riri Williams was not most.

Normally, this made her prideful, contrasting the majority, but what was to be said when your dreams mirrored the reality you wished valiantly to escape?

When it came to sleep, when it came to rest, she envied the mundane. Riri coveted being at peace whenever her eyelids fell. And she yearned for her moments loitering in REM to be more than brief ones.

The scenes behind her lids were recurring — prophesied long before Riri’s skin met her mattress. But despite this premonition, she permitted their slipping from her mind when existing within that slim pocket between consciousness and unconsciousness, and it was then that the monster seized his opportunity, creeping from the closet, on the prowl for his next meal. On the prowl for Riri, and her gorgeous mind, feeding on the memories dwelling inside the grooves of her brain, and forcing her to relive each one as he sucked them out.

This was the part she thought herself able to exploit — the extraction. If the monster removed the recollections for good, she wouldn't have to suffer this constant loop.

It’d been a naïve thought though, because this belief called for compassion. And if the monster — her monster — existed as one comprised of compassion, there would be no nightmares at all. Riri would be able to rest in her own bed, and the caress of another would not be desired when attempting to drift. Though Zariyah’s warmth did nothing to keep her still now as she lay entwined in her arms; he followed her here, to her girl’s place, so on spun the cycle.

Riri’s small body twisted in her girl’s sheets, writhing in distress through the frightening ordeal she’d been compelled to endure over the past few nights. She thrashed, chest tearing itself open to sanction her heart’s escape. Her monster siphoned her brain — grinding its contents with daggered canines — just before vomiting it all back into the young engineer's head so she’d be impelled to recall everything about that day.

Riri became one with the icy sweat clutching her frigid skin, knees jerking with her body's brash kicking, and she whimpered meekly, plunging into the depths of the horrors projected behind shifting eyes.

“Ri…” Riy blew it groggily, her own eyes still locked as she absorbed Riri’s movements. She drew Riri in closer, wanting to be her serenity, but Zariyah was unaware of the violence Riri recounted in her dreams while she spasmed beside her.

Riri launched herself upright, snapping the buckle of her girl’s embrace, gasping for a breath of oxygen as those freezing sweat beads traveling her flesh rolled down with leisure, not caring about the paranoia rocketing through the sinking chest they scaled.

Her monster retreated with a sneer, thwarted off by her abrupt emergence from silk pillows. When Riri’s eyes were open, cowardice swallowed him whole, because he was aware his tactics couldn't work on her barricaded brain now. She knew how to protect herself when she awakened — how to cage her thoughts — and he couldn't manipulate her here, in the real world.

Of all the objects in her familiar setting, it was the essential oil diffuser that steadied Riri's rugged exhales, and she allowed her breathing to emulate the timed puffs expelled by the cream-colored device perched on Zariyah's dresser.

“Ri baby, are you okay?” Zariyah whispered, soft and tired.

Riri glanced back at the naked silhouette of her girl draped in velvet, catching a glimpse of those pouty lips in love with her skin, and she chuckled timidly, watching a half-awake Riy feel around the mattress for her body. “Ri… lay back down, let me hold you.”

“I gotta go, baby.” Her knees indented her bare chest as she spoke, loose smile tightening the second Zariyah tossed that scolding glare her way; it seared, but Riri welcomed its burn, because her shivering frame had yet to fully defrost the chill in her veins.

“Another nightmare, Ri? What's this, the third one this week?”

Third one this week, fifth one this month. But Riri wasn't counting.

“I’m fine, Riy,” It slipped off her lying tongue readily, free-falling from her mouth before dissolving into the gust of Sandalwood oil mugging the air. “Go back to sleep baby, Ima just let myself out.”

Zariyah was unconvinced, and her frustrated sigh consumed a stumbling Riri as she tripped out of bed, fumbling around in the darkness to put her clothes back on. “I know you're not fine. And I need you to get your lil ass back in this bed, Riri.”

Riri wanted that, fuck, she needed it. That incessant voice in the back of her head throbbed so sweetly, pressuring her to climb back in bed, mold into Zariyah, granting her addictive kisses the power to sedate her.

But for unbeknownst reasons, the forces of the universe thought her undeserving of simple pleasures, and Riri lacked the desire to fight back, not with the splitting headache from the fucking lobotomy she just barely survived ringing in her temples. So she made leaving Zariyah's arms her only option. “Z, I can't stay. Not tonight.”

“Riri.”

The smaller girl stilled, Riy’s frigid tone frosting her melting arteries once again, and she rolled her eyes, gaping down at her ever-trembling hands. “Everybody has bad dreams Z, why you making it a national emergency cause I’m getting them?”

“Because I give a damn, Riri. And you been shaking and shit in your sleep for three nights, it's concerning.”

Riri pulled on her hoodie, then turned, capturing the troubled look in her girl's stunning eyes, trouble she put there. Riy sat up, crimson curls peeking out the top of her head scarf as she eyed a fully clothed Riri, allowing the covers to fall from her nakedness.

And her nipple jewelry danced in the dark, hypnotizing Riri from where she stood. The sight alone should be enough to keep her here, her eyes fanning their expanse as she got lost in the work of art that was Zariyah’s illustrated body. Tattoos her fingers traced a few hours ago, piercings that created sinful friction against her build; the memories made her moan aloud, and she chewed her bottom lip when she felt her smirk’s approaching climb.

Riy tossed a pillow her way, full in her force, but she ducked, barely dodging the thing, “Girl, stop staring at my titties and talk to me. I can't stand yo ass, I swear.”

Riri’s laugh was low, and it was mostly genuine on her short walk back to the bedside she previously indented. Mostly. “I said I'm good Z.” Maybe repetition could be enough to persuade, both Zariyah and herself, Riri thought.

She leaned over, puckering her lips in Riy's stern face pleadingly, but Riri was not met with the contact she grew desperate for. Zariyah craned her head to the side, denying Riri’s wet mouth as she crossed her arms, removing the view of her gorgeous breasts as well. “What? I can't get a kiss now?”

“No.”

Riri raised her eyebrow daringly, “No?”

“That's what the fuck I said.” Riy huffed in annoyance, making Riri grin slightly.

“Would it make you feel better if I said it wasn't the same dream every time?” She knew Zariyah wouldn't let her leave without an explanation of sorts, and this wasn't a lie, not entirely. Her nightmares were serial, sure, but there were many angles of that day, and a plethora of memories that could be used to torment Riri’s psyche. And used they were; her monster held no belief in leftovers, so he denied Riri the luxury of leaving any semblance of her trauma untouched.

Riy groaned, “Why the fuck would that make me feel better Riri?”

“They're just dreams, Riy.”

They were just dreams. It's what she told herself anyway, and one day, she would arise from the never-ending nightmare that was life without her dad, and life without her best friend.

Zariyah crawled toward Riri, hooking her chin over her shoulder before pressing a kiss into her sweaty throat. “You promise?”

And Riri’s head sprang immediately, because her nod was practiced. “Yeah.”

Her tremoring word was devoid of credibility, but Zariyah let it suffice, and fuck if Riri wasn't grateful for that; she already felt her lie cracking, her weak facade crumbling, and she wasn't sure either would remain intact if her girl continued the grilling.

Smiling into the hot pecks adorning her neck came with ease and satisfaction as she looped her favorite fingers around her middle. “Z…”

“What is it Ri baby?” She smirked, tongue lapping that sweet little spot she knew drove Riri insane, and when she produced that sigh she sought after, Zariyah pushed off her entirely, settling back into the comfort of her linens.

“You gon gimme my kiss now? Before I go?”

Riy giggled, “Hungry ass always want my mouth all over you.”

“You know I do, Z baby.” Riri stood, turning to face her as she slowly caressed her inked throat, capturing the heat of Zariyah’s mouth on hers. She ingested the flurries of Riy’s moans, anxiously awaiting the assertive way the golden sphere punched into her girl's tongue dominated her own.

It was impossible to stop her fingers’ wandering; Zariyah kneeled undressed for her, whining for her, making Riri feel like everything would be alright if she slipped back into those taunting threads.

“Stay…” Riy practically whimpered it, digits finding their way beneath Riri’s hoodie with a mission, and if she didn't break away soon, said mission would be accomplished.

When they parted, Riri drank in those dazed irises that cared for her, smiling faintly before pressing another peck to Riy’s plump lips. She stroked her cheek, wanting to bask in the gentleness of her girl’s skin, needing the reminder — gentleness was hers to claim if she so chose. It was here, Zariyah was here, quite literally at her fingertips. But she supposed it was more in her nature to fall victim to the universe’s spell, easier to accept haunting dreams and sleepless nights to be her fate.

So she gathered her scattered things in the shadows of the room, inhaling sweet Sandalwood before heading to the door sporting a stupid little grin subject to melting away the minute she left her girl’s presence.

“Bye, baby.” She slung her backpack over her shoulder, gripping the bedroom door as she allowed herself one last look at a worried Zariyah gazing over at her, those bright eyes of hers dimmer now, pleading almost.

“Be s–”

Riri laughed halfheartedly, “Be safe. Yes, I know, ma. I always am.”

•••

Arriving to her classes on time had never been a task Riri prioritized; showing up was enough in her book, and the activity was never to become practiced behavior. But, the terror reposing behind shut eyes served as quite the motivator today, encouraging her to attend each of her classes wide-eyed and hopped up on caffeine.

Riri hadn't even made it back to her dorm after leaving Zariyah’s; she solicited refuge from the freezing walls of her garage instead, and in the challenge of her latest creation.

She'd found herself doing that, building devices she likely had no use for, more so than usual. Riri’s instinct to constantly construct, coupled with her desire to keep her eyes open often resulted in impressive, yet unnecessary productions. Because what could her need for an arm cannon that doubled as a 3-D printer possibly be?

Regardless, it was something to do, so she stayed there, well into the early morning ignoring sleep’s call, and when the Sun climbed the sky, Riri was relieved to have survived yet another night.

Alongside her monster, someone else rummaged through memories she wished to bury — you. As much as the young engineer wrestled the acceptance of it, Riri was aware she’d hurt you that night, she'd caught the slightest glimpse of the expression coloring your features just before the door slammed shut. Regret rushed her immediately after, berating her as she came to a sole conclusion: hurt did not belong on your face. But it was there, because she put it there, and she was not deluded enough to believe she hadn't gone too far.

The physical image of you remained scarce after that night, throughout the week, and this bugged her for reasons she refused to acknowledge. Not being able to deconstruct you as you twitched beneath her watch, not being able to gauge where she stood with you after what she'd done unsettled Riri.

And this too, fueled her timely arrivals. Riri had been skipping all of her classes for the past few days, neglecting the homework she had piling up, disregarding her phone's consistent dinging. Today was Friday though, and Riri liked Fridays.

She got to see you today.

When she strutted into the room, Riri’s feet halted unexpectedly, her white Air Maxes screeching on the floor as her eyes scanned the large, mostly empty space. She was one of three students who'd arrived early, too early, the sound her sneakers made shifting all gazes to her.

“The fuck…” She muttered it under her breath, side-eyeing her professor who seemed astonished to see her. She made the quick journey to her row in the back, the one you two shared, eyes rolling instinctively and Riri sat, lying wait.

Riri knew herself to be impatient, but the extent was forever lost on her before now, before she was made to anticipate your entrance. She exhaled anxiously, leg bouncing as she feasted on the flesh of her raw bottom lip, thus making it the only content she'd ingested all day. Sickening, Riri thought, but her stomach accepted whatever she had to offer; constricting; grumbling as its acids dissolved the dead skin.

Feral eyes darted to the door following the slightest sound of footsteps strolling into the classroom, but she grew irritated every time the person entering wasn't you. Was this normal? Were you late? You couldn't be late, you were never late, she was just uncharacteristically early.

“Someone's sitting there.” She spat at some random blonde girl gunning for your seat.

The girl's smile shook under the obvious agitation Riri laced her words with, but it didn't melt away when she asked, “Who? It's empty right now, I just–”

“Does it matter?” She shoved her backpack into the chair, leering at the girl who’d now gone beet red. “It ain't gonna be you. Move.”

“But I–”

Riri possessed the ability to intimidate, in spite of her height, she also knew her words held force when she said them just right, “Go.” And she watched the girl scurry off with the blow of just the one. She was harmless, only looking for someplace to sit, but why would Riri care? There were plenty of others for her to choose from.

The dreams weren't a force she could control, not for lack of trying, but usually, what she could control was her chosen proximity to you. Riri would refute it if confronted, but being near you remedied, your aura was powerful like that; too powerful, she’d realized, and she despised its dominion over her.

But she couldn't deny she needed it now. So where the fuck were you?

Typical, she thought. Leave it to you to sour her mood, even now, when you were the singular reason she bothered coming in the first place. You aggravated her with ease, without even being present. Her fluctuation between hot and cold when it came to you perplexed her more than any equation taught within these four walls, or any algorithm she dared herself to develop on her many sleepless nights.

Every time she found herself wanting to extend a sliver of kindness your way, you found a way to fuck it up. Why were you like that? Why was she? She waited still however, the coffee she downed adding speed to her already twitching leg.

“Where the fuck–” Riri choked on her words, swallowing them back down as she permitted her eyes boldening when they spotted you prancing into the classroom. They softened, oh so briefly before she denounced the gesture, opting for another eye roll instead. Her gaping brown orbs — designated home to judgment and disgust — betrayed her often, when they focused on you that was. And Riri fucking hated that.

Your hair was done, gorgeous curls now protected underneath long soft locs flowing past your hips, past your ass like cascading fiery falls. They brightened the room and her bleak world alike, leaving her almost breathless.

Ropes of red suited you, she thought, suited your eyes, your face, your dark skin; Red was your color. Never had she thought a shade so vibrant and willful would be made for you, but you existed as a conundrum to Riri. She was staring, waiting, examining you from where she sat; you were speaking to Dr. Lucas, so she nabbed the opportunity.

Riri liked your makeup, she always did. She admired the subtlety of your soft beat, and how it opposed the defiant blaze your hair emitted. Your signature knife-edged eyeliner threatened to stab her as she prolonged her onlooking, making the short scientist curve her lips ever so slightly.

Your sweater though, it wasn't yours. She recognized its washed-out green shade. She knew the zipper no longer worked, and Riri located the small hole just below the left pocket with ease, because she was responsible for it; a very late night, and a joint. You were wearing Hakeem’s sweater, and her insides dropped at the revelation, making her gag just as you looked up at her.

Fuck she was pathetic.

Riri scoffed at her own involuntary sound, exhaling an intake of air as she prepared for you to join her on your shared row. You watched her intently from where you stood in the front, brow arching in that perfect way she liked, signifying you were already annoyed by her glaring. Riri smirked at you, feeling that familiar burst of thrill that slithered through her system whenever the pair of you locked eyes, because she knew she had you, hooked on her line like a fish — you made it too easy.

Except, she didn't have you, and Riri realized this a little too late for comfort. You broke the stare, seemingly unbothered when you plunged into an empty seat on the front row, your body lithe in its descent, and Riri’s right eye mirrored her leg’s tic.

This was not your routine, and deviating wasn't your normal, Riri studied this, learned this, knew this. You were supposed to sit on the last row with her, two seats over from her, and she expected to see your face. It's why she chose this spot at the very beginning of the semester.

Your eyebrows always knitted when your professor spoke, you listened attentively for as long as you could, chewing on your pencil's eraser when deep in thought; she was supposed to witness this. God, your infinite eyes. Riri was meant to view them fluttering shut when you inevitably began dozing off. Your neck was supposed to jerk, you'd spring up, catch her eyes, she'd laugh, and you were supposed to be annoyed that she laughed.

This was your routine. So why the fuck were you sitting in the front row? Why the fuck did you have your back to her? Why the fuck was she being made to stare at your head? And good lord, why in the blue fuck did the distance between the pair of you anger her this much?

Riri didn't like this.

Dr. Lucas’ rambling about visualizing solutions using direction fields and approximating them using Euler’s method made no home in her jumbled brain; his monotone voice worked only to amplify her confusion. Were you ignoring her?

You, ignoring her? The notion didn't even seem plausible the longer she sat with it. Was it because of what she'd done last week?

Riri's eyes were locked on the back of your head for the duration of class, brain mulling over the events of last Saturday night, forcing herself to recount her actions, her words — becoming her own monster as she snarled. Surely you couldn't still be stuck on that. Right? She’d noticed the way you never stayed upset with her for too long, perhaps she could even admit she took advantage of it, because she had not anticipated… this, whatever it was.

It was a slap in the fucking face, she decided. You were trying to piss her off, and it was fucking working.

Her knee continued jumping as she was made to count the brick parts in your hair. It wasn't hard for her to calculate the exact number of locs in your head, she fixated on doing it, guessing, before concluding that it’d be an even number: fifty-two. They were perfect; intricate; precise, just the way you liked things.

You're not a dummy.

She’d hoped the sharp daggers she tossed down at you would at the very least, make you turn with a threatening glower, but you remained forward, fiddling with the broken zipper on that stupid fucking sweater, and Riri remained frustrated. Because she knew you felt them, her pointed daggers; you made no move to dodge them, and you tensed after each throw.

You’re not a dummy. Turn around.

This right here was why she didn't like you, why she couldn't like you, because you played with her, you tested her. She couldn't stand it, blood boiling over the longer she watched your pencil move and wrist flick from behind.

You're not a dummy. But you're behaving like one. Turn the fuck around.

She contemplated moving down to sit beside you, but class ended ahead of her internal battle, and she reprimanded herself for even entertaining the thought immediately.

You were on your feet, quicker than she'd ever seen, trying to escape her; Riri could recognize this because it's what she did, and she'd be lying if she said your exit speed had not been formidable.

But she refused to focus on your ability to impress, because this role reversal quickly became another thing eating at her delicious brain. She stalked you out of class, teeny feet doing what they could to keep up with your long strides; Riri was quick, but it seemed today, you were quicker.

Why the fuck was she resisting the unyielding urge to scream your name as she chased you? Who the hell gave you the right to stride away from her, gracefully at that, like she didn't matter? Who the fuck did you think you were?

Riri didn't like this. She really really hated this. She gasped when her lips parted, your name teasing the tip of her tongue. She bit it back though, enraged. You forced her to stare at your dancing scarlet locs, and perfect swishing hips cloaked by that ugly green fabric as you strutted away from her.

Riri would not allow you to get away with this little attitude you’d adopted. You wore it well though, confidence. Fuck. But she would have to get to the bottom of your shift in behavior. She was not invisible, and you would pay attention to her.

As she backed away, embarrassed, her back collided with the front of another student, sending his things tumbling to the ground, “The fuck is wrong with you? You walking with your eyes closed or something? Don't fucking bump into me are you crazy?!”

“I'm sorry I didn't–”

“Oh! Oh! You didn't?” She mocked, fuming. “Fuck outta my way.” She huffed, stomping off and out the same door you’d just exited, tiny fists balling at her sides.

•••

The weariness Riri fled all day had finally caught up to her, compelling her to permit the shutting of those heavy eyelids. Her torso bent, slumping forward, head plunging down onto her work table where several tools dug into her cheek. Riri didn't care though, in fact, she remained blissfully unaware, drooling all the while as she succumbed to a dreamless nap.

Her garage existed as her refuge, the one place her scavenging monster had yet to infiltrate. She was safe from him here; she could sleep here, without duress. And she slipped immediately, because she was tired, really fucking tired.

The fatigued girl hadn't even relished in the luxury of dozing off for fifteen minutes before a thunderous pounding frightened her awake. Continuous, jarring, and disturbingly rhythmic — Riri allowed the noise to usher her off of her stool, and onto the ground with a grumble. She jetted over to the side door, ready to reprimand the only person she knew to be so obnoxious.

Upon opening it, that sickeningly cheery smile she'd begrudgingly grown to love greeted her, and she grimaced on command. Hakeem marveled down at her whilst patting the crown of her head, teeth, and diamond earrings stinging her slit irises.

“Nigga, the fuck are you doing here?” Riri jerked from under her best friend's touch, holding tightly to her slipping scowl.

He moved her miniature body with zero effort, stepping around her and into the garage, his smile never wavering. “Uh, you texted me goofy.”

“I did?” Keem nodded absentmindedly, wandering deeper into Riri’s sanctuary, becoming enraptured with her latest sketches. “Oh shit… I did.” It was only then that Riri remembered, so caught up in the promise of rest, her actions had completely escaped her. She'd texted Hakeem to come by after his last class, her elusive intention buried beneath the message itself; Riri was hoping — praying — you'd tag along like the puppy you were.

You were back on good terms with him now, well, good enough according to him, and you never seemed to understand when you weren't wanted somewhere, so she figured you'd pout your way into accompanying him. Riri was desperate for a chance to question you about your behavior towards her earlier; she couldn't move past it, despite her efforts. And your blatant disregarding of her existence joined the long line of entities overrunning her busy brain, what was left of it anyway.

Why would you just ignore her like that? You weren't supposed to ignore her like that. You’d never done it before, why now? Why today? The single day where she needed you. So fucking selfish.

Riri craned her neck out the door, almost tripping the longer she extended it, searching for you, waiting for your face to appear in her doorway.

“Don't worry, I ain't bring her this time.”

“What?” She whipped around.

Hakeem chuckled, picking through Riri’s things on her table nosily, “Ooh, what's this?”

“Keep ya nasty lil fingers off my shit,” She strutted over to him. “And what you mean you ain't bring her this time?”

“She ain't wanna come.” He shrugged, completely oblivious to the desperation guiding Riri’s words, and the disappointment coloring her tired lips when they fell. His eyes and lanky fingers were too busy tracing the images on Riri’s board and the scattered parts surrounding it.

You didn't wanna come? Since fucking when?

She cleared her throat awkwardly, dousing the flames crackling in the void of her tummy, “Well, uh, good. Cause I was getting tired of you always dragging her ass around me unannounced.”

“What kinda top secret–” Hakeem's eyes widened, glazing over with a hint of awe, “Riri, is yo ass building an Ironman suit?! Please please please tell me you building an Ironman suit!”

She nearly let her lips curl after noting his legitimate excitement, but she deadpanned instead, face slackening, voice taking on its signature bored infliction, “Yes Hakeem, I'm definitely building a damn Ironman suit.”

Sarcastic and sardonic — the only way Riri knew how to be. Sometimes her cynicism concerned her, like now, as she chose to remain cryptic, when the option of being open with her best friend about her work existed as an easier choice.

“Your sneaky ass would be doing some shit like that.” Hakeem cut his eyes, and Riri rolled hers.

“Anyway! Move away from my things, thank you!” Both palms indented his stomach as she guided him over to her computer screens.

He harrumphed, still suspicious, but ultimately choosing to drop it, making Riri sigh. “What your itty bitty butt call me over here for anyway?”

She prepared for this question; this entire interaction was drummed up immediately after your departure earlier. What she hadn't prepared for, was your absence; it threw her ever so slightly, more so than she would ever admit. “I can't just wanna hang out with my best friend?”

Hakeem laughed, and its vigor shoved Riri into a fit also, settling her anxiety some. “I uh, I need your help finishing up this reprogramming.”

“Ain't no way you called me over here cause you need my help.” Hakeem snorted in disbelief.

He wasn't wrong, she didn't need his help, she didn't need anyone's help, she'd finished this exact project two days prior for another student. But she wouldn't have minded yours. Why didn't you just fucking come like she expected you to? God, you were so damn irritating.

“I um, I do, actually. I was supposed to have it done for one of them rich white kids but, I-I haven't been able to focus on it, or anything school related if we being for real.” She grumbled that last part shyly, but of course Hakeem's fucking elephant ears picked up on it.

He eyed her cautiously, before speaking, “And why you can't focus on anything school-related, Riri?”

“You gon help me or what?” Meeting his eye line didn't present itself as an option, so Riri fiddled with her computer mouse instead, opening the software that had finally downloaded.

“Answer the damn question.”

Riri sighed, shooting the tall boy a brief look. “Don't make a big fucking deal about it, but, the dreams are back.”

“See, I knew it. That's why you was sleeping here and shit? Riri you can't be sleeping in this garage, it's not safe, you–”

“Bruh didn't I just tell yo ass not to make a big deal about it?”

His scrutiny made the scientist flinch; Hakeem could be unnerving when he chose to be, and Riri found his easy way of shifting to be daunting, like the immense pressure felt from his spiky stare, and the abyssal drop in his lively tone could be enough to scare every answer she concealed straight from her drying throat. “Have you been sleeping at all?”

She watched his brows knit, eyes sullen as he regarded her with concern. “A little bit.”

“Mmm, why I don't believe that?”

She huffed, “I was actually tryna sleep a few minutes ago, but your ass pulled up, knocking on my shit like you had a warrant.”

“Riri, you can't sleep here.”

He was right, she knew this, but who would she be if she didn't challenge him? “Nigga you ain't my daddy.”

Bitter words Riri regretted instantly, as she gaped at her silent, staring best friend.

She loathed those eyes of his, the way they perceived her, thawing her frozen facade. She'd labored endlessly to forge her high walls, only for her work to be rendered useless; Hakeem bulldozed straight through their very foundations.

“Ri.”

She shook her head, “Can you just help me?”

“You lucky coding is kinda my shit.” His grin reemerged slowly, like it never left.

Though she still craved sleep, the buzzing inside her was beginning to still, being near Hakeem did that. The pair of friends worked silently next to each other, swift fingers smoothing over keys. Riri was grateful for the company, grateful for her best friend, his willingness to lend his time and mind.

“What are they about? The dreams, I mean.” He caught her eyes when she glanced timidly up at him, and immediately, she snatched them back.

Never had Riri disclosed the contents of her dreams to anyone, not even Hakeem. He knew about her Dad, about Natalie, but she'd kept him in the dark about the details.

“Don't wanna talk about that,” She chewed her lip, mind defying her, running to you when she glanced up at his screen. “And that whole line is wrong.”

He chuckled a little when he realized she was correct, bringing back the annoyance she thought to be previously settled. “Thought coding was your shit.”

“I ain't said I was perfect, bruh damn, ” He picked up on her indignation, good. “How much you getting paid for this anyway? I can get a cut?”

“You be too deep in my damn business, bummy.”

Her patience was bred to be thin, but today, it's like you made it completely nonexistent with your antics. What pissed her off, even more, was that she knew you wouldn't make such a simple mistake like your boyfriend did. You were thorough, rarely did you take your eye off the ball. Riri liked that, and it was probably the only thing she admittedly respected about you.

You should be here right now, assisting her as you did last week, diligently avoiding your boyfriend’s screw up. Instead, you decided to be childish.

But Riri couldn't shake the feeling that you were justified in your avoidance, if that's what you were truly doing. Perhaps you’d drawn a line somewhere and hadn't told her, maybe she crossed it with her actions, her words.

The moments prior to her outburst were enjoyable, she let her guard slip with you, not all the way, but just enough for the conversation to be pleasant. She laughed with you. Your mind intrigued her; called to her, and she felt inclined to answer.

Your hand in hers, your fingers between her own; it was shameful, but your apprehensive responsive full body twitches made it feel not so.

After a while, her stomach churned, scolding her reminiscent thoughts, and her remorseful eyes fanned up to a concentrated Hakeem caught up in correcting his mistake.

“You being real quiet Ri,” He sang, smiling knowingly, moving for the robot sitting on Riri’s messy work table. “Must mean you avoiding telling me something.”

He wasn't even looking at her, his focus set on downloading the firmware to the robot sitting beside the computer, yet somehow, he still decoded her. Riri spoke of walls and their supposed impenetrable builds, but were they ever up around her best friend?

She chuckled dryly remembering the spark of their friendship. A group project last semester forced them to work together, and Riri had every intention to remain guarded when around him. She wanted nothing to do with the popular black boy who spent most of his time partying with white frat guys. He had a reputation, on campus and in her mind.

Riri tried upholding her signature “don't talk to me” persona, but Hakeem bought none of it, and getting her to crack became more important to him than their assignment. Eventually, she did, because he housed a charm like she'd never known, and one could only deny that mischievous smirk for so long. He was quite proud of himself, latching onto her after that, leaving Riri with no choice but to become okay with his presence.

He was loud, rambunctious, extremely audacious, and always searching for the next party. A stark contrast from Riri who just wanted to smoke and build shit in her garage.

“I'm down for that, too,” He’d said. “You’d be surprised what these sexy ass hands can do, I'm tryna tell you.”

“Please don't ever say no shit like that around me again.” She’d retorted, expression wry, allowing him to follow after her.

She soon realized that his company had never been intentional, until her, making the pair an inseparable one.

“Not avoiding anything.” She fibbed, biting back a grin of her own.

Keem pushed the completed robot toward her, eyes narrowed. “Mhmm.”

“Riri, people care about you, you know?” She scoffed, not wanting to hear the spiel he chose to recite every time this happened. “I care–”

“Sappy ass nigga.”

But this time, he hadn't produced that signature laugh she grew accustomed to. Hakeem's dark browns swirled softly with compassion, leaking reassurance, making Riri stiffen as he stepped closer. “I mean it, Riri. You can talk to me, you don't gotta be so closed off all the time and shit.”

“Nigga you tryna kiss me? Back up.” Deflecting was her defense mechanism. She wished to let him in, shit, she probably needed to, but Riri knew she couldn't — wouldn't. Because letting Hakeem in meant opening the door for those feelings she struggled terribly to keep locked out. She could not chance them entering her barriers.

“I gotta go, Ri.” He sighed, defeated. Christ, he should know, he should know that Riri knew. Why did she have to say it out loud? She didn't understand why people required words to know how she felt, about them, about herself; they should just be able to fucking know.

“You need anything else? A hug?” Keem’s smile stretched, and she gagged immediately.

I need to know why your girlfriend is avoiding me.

But you do know why, don't you Riri? Isn't this what you wanted?

“No.”

Hakeem tugged her to him anyway, receiving not a word of protest from his tiny best friend, because she needed this too, this was nice. The space between his shoulders welcomed Riri’s exhausted physique, muscular arms flexing to swaddle her just right. Hakeem's cologne was so strong, so fogging, Riri found herself almost nodding off with her face pressed to his abdomen.

But another scent kept her awake, the faintest whiff of something embarrassingly familiar: You.

That light mist of smoky vanilla and saffron; one she didn't even know she could recognize until now. But there you were, spritzed all over him like you were his. And here Riri was, inhaling you deep, allowing you to enter her lungs as an oxygen dupe whilst her stomach ate itself.

She didn't want to pull away, because pulling away meant you'd be gone again, just like you'd left her earlier. So, she buried her face deeper into his shirt, diving further into your smell until Hakeem's no longer existed in her nostrils, until the aroma of you alone began to drown her, and she sighed.

Hakeem's reverberating chuckle assisted her resurfacing, and Riri grew hot all over when he pecked her atop her braids, burning in her furnace of guilt.

She let him go, rougher than she intended to, but he didn't seem to notice. “I knew yo weird ass wanted to kiss me.”

“I love you, Ri. You know that.”

“Yuck!”

He smiled, using those fucking dimples to unveil her own petulant grin, “I know you love me too. Ima see you, Ri. Try to get some sleep, aight? Preferably in a bed?”

She did love him; Hakeem was the person Riri was closest to, her lifeline, and this sentiment only worked to further her stomach's self-consumption as she watched him drive away.

•••

There was something to be said about an angry Riri Williams on a mission. Those speedy little legs of hers were thrusted forward by rage, her golden R pendant bouncing atop her chest with the same ferocity, clinking in tandem with the other chain adorning her slick neck.

She was hot, and tired, as the Sun blared its rays directly into her cocoa irises, but still, she refrained from turning her fitted hat forward to help shield her eyes. Her steps were so brisk, warm air wooshed in her ears, and the ends of her braids tucked beneath her cap slapped violently against her back.

When her phone buzzed in her fist, she hoisted the screen to her face, eyeballs turning in her head just before she swiped the message away so she could focus on the tiny red dot she was tracking.

She lowered the device, storming toward her target with a stern face.

“I see that phone still work.” She approached the brown-haired boy sitting with his friends, his face falling the second he took in her wild expression.

“Uh, hey Riri, what–” She snatched it from his stubby fingers, eyes fixated on the way they trembled when they lost their grip on the thing.

It was unlocked, great, less work for her. “You sitting up here real comfortable, snacking and shit, like youn owe me a band, and change.” Her vision was trained on the iPhone she seized, scrolling through various apps until the one she sought jumped out at her: Venmo.

“Sorry, I uh, I forgot. But I thought we agreed on seven hundred.” The boy peered over at his alarmed friends.

He attempted to reach for his phone, but he'd underestimated Riri’s guile. She anticipated his move long before he made it, stepping back, holding the device to her person. “Yeah, two days ago maybe, but prices go up the longer you take to run my shit.”

He was fidgeting, and Riri let her smirk curl, entertained by him. “Look, I did most of the work, I think it's fair that–”

“I’m the reason you got that grade you got.” She stated plainly, bored of the back and forth. She awarded herself the desired amount, allowing the defeated boy to take hold of his property once she no longer had use for it, and she plastered her face with a faux smile as she bobbed away.

“Fucking white people.” She mumbled with a head shake, turning her phone off completely as a measure to dodge the emails from her therapist she refused to respond to.

Riri plucked her nose from her phone, the Sun still working to abuse her eyes, and it was then that she saw you.

Steady flows of molten lava scorching her retinas, the rays emitted by the sky's ball of fire made an afterthought now. Riri’s legs stilled, her pupils dilating under the beams of your hair. She knew how she must've looked, gaping at you the way she did, out in the open, and her unwillingness to care mixed her mind. But she couldn't, care that was, not at the moment.

You wore that hideous green thing still; Riri was unaware of her disdain for the sweater until today. How many times had she seen Hakeem in it without batting an eye? It wasn't even cold out, like at all. Why did you have it on? You were so fucking odd.

Warm air blew your locs to and fro as you inched closer to her, making her hold her breath with each step you took.

You weren't looking at her yet, but surely you felt her eyes on you, on the way you clasped your backpack, on your nails. She hadn't noticed them in class, because your stubborn ass hadn't given her a chance to, but your nails matched your hair now. When she saw them last, was the night she held them, they were purple then.

They were still as long, still as dangerous, except now, they were painted red, much like the blood heating her ears.

Riri braced herself for impact; you were inches away, eyes boring directly into hers, so she fixed her lips into a hard line, something menacing, something deterring. She wouldn't speak first, no. In Riri’s mind, you were even, she was mean to you, you retaliated by ignoring her, so you were even.

You were so close, your perfume kissed her skin, and she smirked when your eyebrow jumped. Jackpot, this intense eye contact was to be her in.

But again, you’d managed to con her into believing she would be getting your attention. You didn't stop, your feet brought you to her, bypassing her, and you bumped her shoulder in the process without so much as a word. Riri was stunned, at a loss, as she whipped around to see you marching away from her for a second time today.

She resisted the urge to stomp her foot like a child. Riri was short, not fucking invisible. Where the hell did you get off? Why were you getting to her this much? You shouldn't be able to.

She blamed it on her lack of sleep, because was there another conclusion to be drawn? She couldn't, wouldn't, draw one.

With one last look over her shoulder, Riri headed in the other direction, dragging her heavy limbs back to her dorm with the hope of sleeping your likeness away.

•••

Riri lay unmoving on her bed, heart stunned into a sprint after yet another gruesome attack. She was awake, but locked lids provided aid in keeping her eyeballs off of the closet door in the distance.

That's where he resided, her monster, snickering in amusement at the state in which he left her.

Her dorm steeped in moonlight when she unstuck her face from her pillow, bathing her damp skin in streams that cooled. Riri’s vision barely existed as her eyes darted around the room, but despite this, her wells found the recently stripped photograph taped to her wall. She hadn't the heart to reframe it; keeping the film near loosened her constricting chest on nights like these. A slanted gaze trailed to the digital clock on her desk: 12:04 a.m. At least she’d slept some.

Riri sighed, hands moving before her brain could stop her, and she reached for her phone, scrolling through her recent calls before her thumb hovered hesitantly.

One ring, two rings, three.

She was going to hang up, having regretted the act already. No way h–

“Hey, wassup?” Hakeem's voice sounded groggy, oh good, she'd woken him. Surprising, Riri thought, a Friday night spent indoors was not his normal. “Nah, it's just Ri, baby girl.” So you were with him, and she'd woken the both of you with her desperate little phone call. Amazing.

Were you at his place? In his bed? Or, was he in yours? That image, the one of the two of you sharing the same sheets, was not one she needed on her conscience, so she did away with the thought, just as she pretended not to feel her tension band tighten in her abdomen.

“Yo, Ri, you good?” She remained silent on her end, thinking, spinning, spiraling inside her warped mind.

This call was a mistake. “Sorry, I uh, I didn't–”

“I'm on the way.” And then she was made to listen to that beep, beep, beep; Hakeem hadn't given her a chance to decline, not that she'd wanted him to. It’s why she called him, because Riri knew he'd know, without her having to say it.

She was shoving her head through the neck of her hoodie when her phone pinged, and she rushed to it.

Bestie Westie: I'm outside.

Riri rolled her eyes at the contact name every single time Hakeem texted her, she had no hand in it, but she wouldn't dare change it. She slipped her feet into her crocs after grabbing her phone and keys, making her way to her awaiting best friend.

Upon opening Hakeem's car door, a wave of heady Vanilla crashed onto her, its current forceful, and deliberate as hell, making Riri scoff. What the fuck did you do? Douse the seats in your fucking perfume just to taunt her? Three times now she'd been assaulted by your smell, three times she recognized it on command. Riri valued consistency, somewhat, she liked a pattern, but this one, this pattern of you — she was not fond of it.

She’d zoned out, Riri realized, involuntarily floating on the aroma surrounding her, and it was Hakeem’s voice that brought her back. “You getting in, Ri?”

“Yeah.” She collected herself, exhaling as she stepped into the car with a shy smile that Keem reciprocated, allowing her best friend to drive her off into the void of the inky night.

•••

“Wish Freeda’s was twenty-four-seven, could really use some fries right now.” Riri’s lips separated, preparing themselves to once again come in contact with the burning blunt her fingers clasped. Her drag was long, smoke gliding down her throat, collecting in her lungs as she held it, awaiting that familiar burn she craved. And then she exhaled, billows of white clouds blowing from her mouth.

“You and them damn salty ass fries.” Hakeem teased with a laugh that should be deemed too enthusiastic, even for him, but his high guided it, and Riri was stoned enough to match it.

She sipped her Slurpee, passing the blunt over, watching him accept it leisurely through hooded eyes. When the straw left her tongue, she slurred, “Look, that seasoned salt ain't nun to play with. Ion know what to tell you.”

“Seasoned salt my ass, swear Ion see your itty bitty butt eat nothing else. What that cholesterol looking like?”

The girl damn near cackled under the slow drum of the question, and Riri shook her head with a loose smile. “Cholesterol? Nigga, the fuck, I look fifty-five to you? I ain't worried bout no damn cholesterol.”

“What are you worried bout then? Cause I know it's something,” Hakeem took a hit, eyeing Riri tentatively where she sat with her back against the door. “That's when the dreams come back, right?”

His seat was halfway reclined, and he puffed a breath of smoke up toward the car's ceiling, adding to the haze existing around them already. He waited, foreseeing her hesitation before even she did, humming along with the song wafting out his speakers, patient as ever.

Riri didn't like this, she knew the question was underway, but she really fucking hated it; vulnerability was not a carried skill. She wanted to enjoy her high, to forget, momentarily, that her feelings were her enemy, and her brain was their friend. “I told you Ion wanna talk about that shit.”

“No, you said youn wanna talk about what goes down in your dreams. That's cool. But, I ain't asking bout that, I'm asking bout what's causing them, small fry.” He shot her a wink, or what she perceived to be one, smiling lazily.

Riri grimaced, vermilion-stained eyes regarding him with the utmost contempt, “Call me that again, see what happens.”

“Riri, you not getting off that easy. Now talk to me.”

A beat of silence befell them, per Riri’s doing, and she sucked her straw in again, forcing the taste of mango-lemonade to wash her mouth, needing it to pacify her speech. “Guess I'm just stressed,” She spoke after a while, and Hakeem bobbed his head.

“Okay. What's stressing you out, small fry?” He exhaled, a gust of gas following his words.

“Nigga.”

“Ri.”

The wrap touched her digits once again, and the drug entered her system, along with that fucking smell, your fucking smell, that for whatever reason, chose to follow her. “Ion know. I’ve just been feeling real weird over the past three months. And no the dreams ain't been back for that long. I just feel off.”

“Your classes?”

“No, well kinda this week, but not usually. Ion know what it is.” Except she did know, and she wished desperately to unknow; Riri wanted her lie to ring true, but, she had your perfume in her lungs right now, it was acquainted with her nose, her bloodstream. God, she could fucking taste it — taste you — there was no way for her to unknow that.

Hakeem tutted, and Riri’s eyes rolled. “Wrong answer.”

“What?”

“Ri, you know I know you. And I know when you fixing them lips to lie to me.” His arm extended, pinching her chin, and she recoiled in disgust.

“Eww. Weird ass nigga, don't touch me.”

He snatched the dwindling blunt from her, taking the last hit before placing all attention on his tightly wound best friend. “Soooo, you gon tell me?”

Riri huffed, swigging her Slurpee, her body unconsciously rocking to the current song. “I just told you Ion know what the fuck I got going on.”

“Sticking with your lie. Okay,” He threw his hands up. “You and Riy good?”

Riri giggled automatically, be it because of the weed, or just the fondness she held for the tattooed girl, she didn't know, nor did she mind. “Yeah. We good.”

He shook his head, “See, Ion understand you man.”

“Nobody gets me Keem, that's how I like it.”

“Ha.” He laughed dryly, “I mean ion understand how you have a baddie like Zariyah, and still playing games, you know shawty want you.”

“And she has me.”

He tossed her a challenging glare. “Y’all official?”

Hakeem was right, rarely was he ever wrong when shrinking her brain. Riri could admit that internally, but never aloud, because then she'd have to own her shit, and she didn't see herself able to. Not yet. “Man, whatever.”

“If I was you… Damn, what would I do with all that if I was you? Damn. Like shit Riri, the fuck is wrong with you for real?”

“Nigga, don't you got a girl?”

“You gon tell her?”

Riri deadpanned, wincing at the thought of you avoiding her entirely. “Like I would willingly talk to her.”

“Guessing y’all lil study session ain't go well last week? She been dodging yo ass like the plague.” He chuckled.

She couldn't pretend this blatant confirmation didn't pack a punch, even if it’d been clear as day. You were avoiding her. Hakeem pushed it into the open, and he found hilarity in your behavior. Riri on the other hand, could not pinpoint which of the sensations incited by your behavior bloomed the strongest in her depths. Anger? Irritation? Bewilderment?

Or could it be the one that lay dormant in her body until today, the sole sensation she detested, and refused to give attention to? “You shouldn't have sent her irritating ass to come check up on me.”

“Aye, watch it,” She heeded his warning, but not without an eye roll, of course. “You ungrateful as hell, you know that?”

Riri pouted. Its appearance on her face would never be permitted outside of this setting, outside of Hakeem's presence; she was too high to wipe it away. “I ain't need no babysitter.”

“Evidently you do, small fry. Yo ass need supervision, since you can't seem to sleep in your bed.” Hakeem spat his words playfully, but Riri knew him well enough to place his trepidation, about her, about her stressors.

“Stop calling me that shit.”

“Stop deflecting.”

“Whatever nigga.”

He was trying, and failing, to readjust his seat when he blew the chilling question her way, and maybe the fog in the car’s air created a mirage before her, because Riri was certain Hakeem's words frosted the melted dregs of her syrupy drink once again. “Why youn like her anyway?”

This sight of him, struggling with his worn-out car, should be comical. She should laugh. But, she couldn't, because this question, and its intrusiveness, stunned her into stillness in the passenger seat. “W-What?”

“Why youn like my girl? She ain't never did shit to you for real, but you always on her. Why?”

Riri Williams was a super-genius, and prior to this instance, there was no equation she thought herself unable to solve, no question she believed existed without a complementing answer. With effort, and a little elbow grease, she was usually able to make the seemingly impossible, possible. But that ceased to be the case now — she did not possess the response her best friend was in search of.

Because you were unsolvable. Her answers did not compliment you.

“Ion gotta like everybody, Hakeem. I barely like yo ass.”

And though she never presented herself as a friend, Riri had to thank the universe still, along with the high dazing Hakeem's expression as he started the car without another word, leaving Riri alone with the question he'd tossed out, blissfully ignorant to the damage he'd just done.

She fiddled with the pendant dangling around her neck, the pad of her thumb grazing the letter as she pondered: Why didn't she like you?

You were in her veins right now — she was gone off your smell. She liked that. So why didn't she like you?

Riri rolled the window down, basking in the cool air nipping her heightened skin as she poked her face out like a thrilled dog, resisting the tempting urge to actually stick her tongue out playfully. If Hakeem could dismiss his words so readily, why couldn't she? So, it's what she chose to do, in her final attempt to reclaim the lastings of her sanity.

The drive back to her dorm carried a consoling quietness, save for the silky whispers Hakeem's speakers breezed out, his pressing question long lapsed in her head. She hummed, eyes low as she made way for a goofy little grin to cross her once-contorted features.

“You good, Ri?” And for once she could answer this question truthfully, because Riri was indeed good, better than good — perfect.

She nodded, glimpsing at his matching smile before he stepped out of the car. “Aight, come on.”

Once back in her room, Riri fused to her mattress again, this time lacking fear. Because Hakeem was here, his warmth capable of keeping her monster at bay. He found the taste of Riri’s security to be rancid, refusing to feed when protection blanketed her.

“Wait, before I get in,” Hakeem kicked his shoes off at the door, his voice interrupting Riri’s thoughts of a peaceful undertaking. “Was you fucking in this bed recently, Riri?”

She leered up at him blankly with an unamused expression. He was smirking, brow cocked, expectancy apparent on his smug face. What an insufferable man, befriending him had to honestly be her biggest mistake.

“Nigga, if I was, I definitely changed the sheets. Now, be a damn gentleman and hold me, I’m fragile.”

Hakeem gagged dramatically. Riri wanted to smack him, but unfortunately, luck remained planted at his dreadful side, because her approaching drowsiness advised against the attack.

After placing his phone on Riri’s side table, Hakeem scooted in behind her, still smirking, still giggling as his lanky arms engulfed her far smaller build, and Riri begrudgingly relaxed into him, eyes barely shut before a new set of words attacked her ears, “Fragile cause you be getting that ass tore up? Zariyah be doing the bending, don't she? See I knew it, I–”

“I'm so damn close to strangling you. Shut up and go the fuck to sleep, goddamn. Don't never know when to stop talking.”

He laughed, pulling her closer with a loud sigh. Riri was seconds away from the sleep she sought when Keem's phone buzzed beside her, so naturally, she took a gander, coming face to face with a photo of you as his lockscreen, the notification ceasing to matter now.

Chasmal brown eyes spilling mirth as you cheesed at your photographer, who she presumed to be the boy knocked out in her bed. She studied every corner of your face, completely enamored by your skin’s deepness, before the screen went black again. It was so fucking swift, the way you'd wormed your way back into her head, a task you'd perfected it seemed, even in absence.

She lay there for a while, stewing. Shame should devour her entirely for what she did next, lord, it was low, and if the mocking rattle drumming inside her closet was to be indication, her monster agreed.

She was still high enough to cast blame on the indica she'd ingested, and a snoring Hakeem bore no threat. So, Riri tapped the phone again, your shining smile eliciting a gentle, dopey one of her own. The light faded, taking her consciousness with it. Tangled in your boyfriend's arms — Riri allowed you to paint your portrait behind her lids — becoming her solace as she slumbered.

•••

Sunlight seeped through Riri’s array of windows, blazing streaks greeting her first for once, instead of the other way around when she pushed her eyes open. They panned around her brightened room cautiously, still grappling with the belief of staying shut throughout the night.

Hakeem was nowhere to be found, but this was hardly surprising, the only thing remaining in his wake being the sticky note pressed to her forehead, his signature way of announcing his departure. Usually, the impact between paper meeting skin stirred her awake, but this time, he’d slipped out with stealth.

She peeled the small square off her face, scoffing at the blurry vision of his atrocious handwriting. The only legible words were ‘text me’ scribbled below a drawing of some kind, and she blew a laugh, sitting up to reach for her phone perched on her side table.

The action birthed remembrance, as she sat, glaring blankly at her phone screen. She wasn't high anymore, meaning acceptance shadowed her unwanted remembering — Riri dreamt of you. Your smile, your eyes, your fucking hair, God, you were everywhere in her mind as she slept. And she was awake now, compelled to reflect on this truth.

It was getting out of hand, her seemingly inescapable fixation with you, and quite frankly she was fucking over your witchy ways. This was her line drawing, you didn't get to infiltrate her life and her REM cycle, even if your kind eyes offered her the best sleep she'd had in weeks. She had to put a stop to this — she had to see you.

Riri: Lemme take you out.

Her phone buzzed in her palm two seconds later, making her eyes roll expectedly as she grinned, hitting answer. “You know, when people text you it's prolly cause they don't wanna be on the phone with you.”

“And when you get asked out, it ain't usually through a half-assed text message.” Zariyah chimed, her smooth voice washing over Riri like honey.

She laughed, timid and jeering as she bit her lip, imagining the smile that must also be on her girl's face. “What you mean?”

“Exactly what I said. That ain't how you ask nobody out. You wanna try again, lil mamas?”

“Man, you wanna go out or not? Cause ain't no–”

Zariyah’s reprimanding pitch held all of its ferocity through the phone, and it’d be a lie to say Riri didn't seek her girl’s signature bite, “Uh-uh, I don't play with you like that Riri, watch that mouth. I ain't one a them.”

“Oh you not?” She quipped, twirling the end of her braids poking out from under her scarf.

“Nah. Now ask me out properly before I hang up this damn phone.”

She waited a few beats, deliberately trying to piss off the gorgeous girl on the other line. “Ain't you the one who called me though? You the one who wanted to be on my line, right?” Her smirk played in her words, forming fully when she tuned in to that inevitable sigh of frustration she perked her ears up for.

“Riri. Don't piss–”

Riri’s fingers massaged the necklace clasped around her neck, kicking her dangling feet as she spoke, “I would like to take you out Zariyah. You gon let me?”

“That really ain't no better. But, I guess I can squeeze you into my oh-so-busy schedule. When's this date? This is a date right?” Riri detected the twinge of uncertainty lacing Zariyah’s questions, which only broadened her sly little grin.

“It can be a date,” She started, shaking her head at the butterflies waking in her depths. “Tonight?”

Zariyah giggled, “Tonight works. Where you taking me?”

“Just be ready by seven, which for you is really eight, cause you know how you be.” Riri teased.

She could feel the eye roll hurled her way, and Zariyah’s tone of voice gave away her faux annoyance. “Oh don't do me. Ima be ready when I’m ready, how bout that!”

“Okay Z,” She conceded. “Ima see you tonight.”

“See you tonight, Ri baby.”

She clobbered out of bed after ending the call with the dumbest little smile, socked feet dragging her to the bathroom. It only lasted so long though.

Riri glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror, hoisting her damp toothbrush to her mouth just as flashes of your lips flooded her senses, and she resisted the urge to smash her head into the mirror before her. Maybe a self-induced concussion could scrub you from her memory.

•••

“Riri, when you said you was taking me out, this ain't what I had in mind.” Zariyah’s complaints were predictable, making Riri shake her head at the red-haired girl straggling behind her.

She tossed her question back, already aware of the response she'd get from this as well. “What, you too bougie for Freeda’s now?”

“Yes.”

She stuffed her fist into her pocket, striding languidly to the door with that silly grin curling her mouth. Freeda's wouldn't typically be a designated date spot for Riri either, but she had to admit her intentions for the night surpassed the innocence of simply taking Zariyah out.

She wanted to see you.

You didn't get to act like she wasn't worthy of acknowledgment. And showing up to your job was sort of her last resort, because you couldn't avoid her here. Showing up alone, however, that could send the wrong message, hence, the Zariyah of it all. “Girl, shut up and come on.”

She opened the door, holding it wide for her unimpressed girl, but she smiled still, because Riri had that effect on her.

“Welcome in, Ima be with y’all in a minute. Just sit wherever.” You hadn't turned as you spoke, but your drawl made Riri shudder all the same. A rehearsed line, she'd heard it countless times on her many visits to the diner, but when you said it now, her hot blood ran cold.

She smirked to herself as she realized; Riri had missed the sound of your voice.

“Alright,” When you approached their booth, bewilderment charged your deep eyes, your forever-taut shoulders tensing in understanding. “H-Hey y’all…”

Oh, fucking finally, she’d cornered you, regaining her status, once again, as cat to your mouse. You couldn't run, the panicked lightning in your irises vindicating this fact, and Riri smirked, content with where she had you now.

Your eyes competed with hers, vehement, determined, wanting desperately not to falter. You were struggling under her scrutiny though, she could tell. And for whatever reason, it pleased her, knowing that even after your decision to steer clear of her, the cards belonged to her still.

“Aww Ri baby, Keem’s girl works here! Hi cutie. I love your hair!”

“Yeah,” Her eyes stalked your uniform, sly as ever, noticing the abrupt inhale you failed to bury. Your rising chest would pass anyone by, but not Riri, because she reveled in your body's mechanical reaction to her staring. You couldn't help it, poor thing.

God, she missed eyeing you until you shook under her unwavering gleam. She missed your face. Fuck. “She do.”

You cleared your throat, evidently uncomfortable with all of this, red nails strangling the pen in your vice grip. It was an intense sight to behold, a tad amusing, and it replenished Riri's weakened ego. “Uh, th-thanks. Can I start y’all off with s-some drinks?”

Riri couldn't speak, far too bewitched by your hair hissing her name, drawing her in close, close, closer until she caught herself sliding to the edge of the booth, causing you to back up some with a broken exhale. Her skin heated, attention fleeting your face as she scratched her neck awkwardly.

She understood it now, her sudden draw to you. It was your hair’s doing. Fucking Medusa. But with the ability to liquefy rather than harden.

Your hand pranced across the pad as you wrote what she could only assume to be Zariyah's order, she wasn't paying attention, her focus now collared by the jarring thing she thought to be impending: an eruption of blue ink. She pitied that pen, unaware that it’d just become a weapon of mass destruction. You were similar to the writing utensil in that regard; you too remained heedless to your power.

If only Riri was to be so lucky, because she knew the might you held, she fucking felt it. It's the same sensation she vied for yesterday in class, the same force she allowed to plunder her dreams. It was here now, bombarding her senses as you stood so close, colluding with your conniving fragrance.

That crackle of saffron she could recognize with the faintest intake of air.

“And uh, for you, Riri? You know what you want too or you need a minute?”

When you said her name she internalized how your soft eyes hardened, at the same moment hers melted completely. “Fries and a coke.”

“That's all you getting, baby? You sure?”

She nodded, head dancing to the beat of your hair's song.

“Okay. Ima get these in for y’all.” You smiled at an ever-clueless Zariyah, and Riri would trip into that too, if it weren't feigned.

Riy reached across the table, tattooed hands cupping Riri’s, “Ri, oh my god, guess what happened at work today!”

You walked away, tossing loose red tendrils over your shoulder as you dismissed Riri like an afterthought, and she couldn't help the flare of irritation sparking in her chest. “What happened at work today, baby?”

Riri had zoned out when Riy began her ramblings about the number of holes she poked in the faces of strangers at work, becoming distracted when a completely different server brought their drinks out. Was this another attempt to stay away from her?

She stalked your steps as you moved to clear a recently departed table, and she figured no time like the present.

“Z, I gotta go um, ask shawty bout an assignment for class,” She pointed to you. “Ima be right back.”

Zariyah nodded, smiling shyly, “Don't go too far. I'm gon miss you.”

“You're cute.” Riri huffed a laugh before standing, stepping out of the booth to make her way over to where you worked.

She followed the wave of your perfume, stopping short when she almost bumped into you. “Shit, my fault.”

“The fuck do you want Riri?”

“Oh we cussing now? That's crazy.” Her words worked only to piss you off, making Riri smirk some when they woke that breathing vein in your temple. “Talking to me like I’m Keem or something.”

“Riri, your food gon be out in a minute. Just go back to your girlfriend and let me do my fucking job.” You faced away from her, swiping the rag in your fist over the same spot for the seventh time since she approached you.

Riri chuckled, intrigued to see how far she could get with this unfamiliar version of you. “Bussing tables ain't really that hard though, is it?”

Your grip on the soaked cloth tightened, suffering the same fate as that mangled little blue pen from moments ago. “What the fuck–”

“That the only cuss word you know?” Her hip pressed into the table, vision trained on the soapy water gushing from the rag you were choking.

“Maybe. You know us dummies don't really got much going on up here.” You gestured to your head, knocking your finger directly against the vein blinking there.

She kissed her teeth, “You still on that?”

“If you not here to apologize, then Ima need you to get the fuck out my face, Riri.”

Riri barked a laugh, you were fucking hilarious. “Apologize? Ain't yo ass the one who broke my shit? I think them fumes you inhaling right now might actually be affecting your lil smarts, cause if anybody deserves an apology, it's me.”

You dropped the rag, regarding her fully now, your emotionless expression making her feel smaller than she actually was. Riri found herself wanting to breathe in your frustration as you blew it down to her, but she refrained. She shouldn't. She wouldn't. She could not. “Ion have time for this.”

“Okay, okay. My bad, damn.”

“Your bad?”

“Yes.”

You narrowed your eyes, your expression brittle as its dust landed on the small engineer stood in front of you, dry words bristling her entire body, you hadn't seemed to notice though. Because you didn't care, Riri realized. “And what is my bad supposed to mean?”

“Girl, the fuck is with your lil attitude? You said you wanted an apology, and your ungrateful ass–”

Your laughter carried, and it was loud enough to garner unwanted glances, including one from a rather bored-looking Zariyah at the far end of the diner. “Maybe Keem wasn't lying when he said your lil ass was funny, cause if this is your definition of an apology, we gotta get you on a stage and shove a microphone in them baby fists. It's giving comedian for real.”

This was the first time Riri Williams found herself lacking a comeback.

An empty stare colored her face as she watched your attempt to vacate her presence, leaving her brain with only one viable option.

She didn't stop her arm’s extension when it reached for you, and you hadn't protested when her skin touched yours. She held you in place, dismissing the intrusive thought encouraging her to tug you in closer. She couldn't do that.

You kept your flared eyes on her fingers wrapped around you, sighing unsteadily, the contact overwhelming you. Riri could tell, though she was unsure if this was her goal. She spared a glance at Zariyah who still peered at the two of you curiously, trying, and failing to care about the visual your current positions must be emitting.

“I ain't mean all that shit from the other night.”

“All what shit?” Shaky, damn near breathless — your tone from earlier had betrayed you, stealing your confidence, and placing it directly in Riri’s palm for her to do with it what she wished.

Her voice was softer when she spoke to you this time, housing patience as she refused to let you go. “I shouldn't have slammed the door in your face. I know that, I can own that. I know you ain't mean to break my shit.”

The slow creep of your smirk alerted her that she was wrong; your assurance had not waned; it blossomed, and her hand indeed remained empty. Blackness guzzled your eyes, and Riri was forced to watch as their mirth disappeared.

“Aww, you want a cookie? You ain't order one, but we got some in the back,” You pointed over your shoulder. “Ain't nothing you just said worth a damn to me. You don't get to show up at my job with some bootleg apology cause your guilty conscience keeping you up at night, nah, shit don't work like that.” You snarled, yanking your wrist free wickedly, pointing to the server bringing out her food. “Your food’s out.”

Again, Riri was left dumbfounded by your astute observations about her as you sauntered off to the back, your ruby serpents admonishing her with their sway. Their once euphonic hiss turned into lethal venom spat directly into her face, aiding her reluctant hand in concurrence — you’d turned her into the mouse she once chased.

Maybe she’d misconstrued just how powerful you really were.

“Ri baby, the food’s here.” Zariyah called, rescuing Riri just as she was about to sink into her mind’s rapids, and she smiled on her trot back to the table, abandoning her seat across from the taller girl, opting to sit directly beside her instead.

Riy gaped at Riri for a second, but she didn't question their new seating arrangement. “Everything good with your assignment?”

“Huh? Oh, um, yeah.” She upheld her lie, pecking Zariyah on the cheek. “I tell you how fine you look tonight?”

“Girl, eat them fries.” Riy rolled her eyes.

Riri laughed, but did as she was told, sliding a greasy fry onto her starving tongue.

Tastebuds tangoed with the flavor skipping across them, and she blushed, like actually blushed, the hot flush of sudden embarrassment baking her skin. Riri hadn't asked for seasoned salt on her fries, in all honesty, she'd forgotten to, too caught up in you and your embers. But there it was, sprinkled across her food just the way she liked it, and a small smile scratched its way free, etching its shape deep into her face when she noticed your emergence from the kitchen.

Exhausted eyes averted her vicinity, but Riri stared anyway, because once her gaze met your face, it was usually hard for her to rip it away. You could've requested the cook spit in her food, and it probably would've been justified, but you didn't. Instead, you did what you always did, you perplexed her just by being.

Even though you were angry at her, you thought of her still. You were like her in that regard.

The blush crawling her body stayed put the longer her pupils gawked at you. You were putting your hair in a ponytail, all fifty-two faux locs, well, except for one in the back. You missed that one. Riri didn't; it's where she fixed her brown orbs, on that lone loc dangling and tickling your pretty neck.

You were facing her now, the sear of her stare steering your turn. Irritation rested on your cheeks still, but it held no relevance, as she smirked at you, because your eyes had regained their mirth-filled deepness, and it took only the gentlest flick of your lips for her to plummet into their abyss completely unguarded.

As her smirk slackened, Riri felt her Earth shake, her highest walls deteriorating and coming undone all around her. The feelings she wrestled to keep outside would soon be awarded entry, and Hakeem's haunting question was on the verge of gaining an answer.

She kept watch of you, gulping down the remnants of potato in her mouth before surrendering.

Riri liked you.

And the acceptance of this truth scared her shitless, exposing her helpless little body to a creature far more petrifying than a measly little monster in the closet.

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lumina--writes · 1 month

Text

Temporal Heartbreak

Chapter 1: Whom You Remember

Broken Hearted after the loss of his wife Simon "Ghost' Riley falls for the spitting image of his wife from another world and time. Swept up in the moment of life and death, can Simon see past the look-alike and similarities to focus on saving the world?

This is taken from my Wattpad thought about cross-posting here, this is a short story.

Spring has always been his favorite season when flowers bloom and color seeps back into the world. On those days when buttercups bloom, she always comes back. He looks down and at his feet is a pretty buttercup flower, gazing up at him.

"Simon!" Then he turns around to see a girl running to him, backpack swinging side to side. Her bright smile warmed him to his heart. Her hair shone like gold in the sun. Her cheeks were rosy and pink in the cold spring air.

"Cecilia," he whispers, his lips curling into a soft smile. She crashed into his arms giggling and smiling so wide her smile was as bright as the sun.

"I miss you," she giggles her smile wide and gentle. So did he. He missed her so dearly, she was his safe place, and whenever she was around, he felt fearless.

"You wanna play?" She innocently asks her voice like wind chimes. The little boy smiles and nods the two racing off to her little playground in her backyard—a safe place.

"Push me higher!" She squeals as the boy pushes with all his might. Beautiful spring flowers bloom in her yard. A bright big smile adorns his face. She swings high and falls back shaking the entire playground set.

Her laughter rings loudly in the quiet neighborhood. Simon smiles hearing her laugh with such freedom. When she's around he feels truly invincible, a fearless hero. Her hero.

He loves her, with all his heart. She made his horrific world less dull. Like an angel. Like a buttercup, she glowed in the sun. Her home was always welcoming him in. If he could he like to stay with them, with her forever. She's a beautiful rainbow after a rough storm.

The summers were his favorite time, with no school, away from his house of horror, and his buttercup. He spends hours with her, talking, playing, watching movies. Sometimes they just sit outside, and she makes flower crowns for them.

She was truly angelic, kind, and sweet, all his time with her was nothing but a dream come true. The nice summer goes by quickly when every day is wonderful.

"Yay! Let's get ice cream!" She cheers celebrating her little wins against him in games. She takes the boy by the hand and marches inside laughing. Her smile made him warm and safe.

His primary years though rough were always held in fold memories. Her smile seemed to warm every cold moment in those times. He thought he had forever with her, she was his first love. He wished to marry her when they were older.

Simon was ten when it all happened. It was a nightmare, a never-ending nightmare. She moved to another school, dramatic if you ask him now, but back then it ruined him. She was gone before he knew it. She moved across the world away from him. He remembered it so clearly, the day she told him tears in her eyes.

Simon never forgot her, but he also knew seeing her again wasn't likely.

But fate was on his side.

Tommy was a few months clean, his father was out of the house prominently, hell even Tommy found a nice girl Beth. It was a spring day, buttercups blooming, and his heart sagged at the old memories pulling at his mind. Did she come calling?

"Simon?" He looked up there the sun behind her hair shining like a saintly glow did his heart nearly stopped, she was everything he remembered and so much more, like one of Aphrodite's children.

"Cecilia..." He whispers out.

He never believed those hallmark romance movies, but in that single spring break, he fell in love again. The way he smiled at her, held her hands, and let her ramble about anything she wanted truly was heavenly. She was his date when Tommy and Beth got married, and when Joseph was born.

At the first breath of spring, the first bloom of buttercups did he know it was time. A ring later he took her back to their childhood playground, her old childhood house he bought, and asked her to marry him.

"Every spring was difficult for me; every time I see a buttercup I think of your long blonde hair. And every time I remember you, I remember being incredibly happy... You are the most beautiful woman I've ever got the fortune to meet." Simon said swallowing his tears, but his eyes were glassy.

"Simon Riley since the day I left I've always thought of you and miss playing with you. From here to the end of our lives in sickness and health I hope we stay together for this lifetime." Cecilia said with a wide smile more excited than sentimental.

It all came crashing down three years later.

Simon Riley knows violence it was his occupation, but the scene he stumbles across truly makes him sick. His Mother was on the couch neck sliced open, and his brother and Beth's bodies were in Joseph's room protecting him with their body. But in the kitchen, body distorted and brutalized, dress shoved up was his beautiful buttercup...

Withered and petals on the ground her innocence is gone, was his one and only wife. He fell to his knees picking up her dead body, the bronzed handprints around her neck gave it away. He gave into her frightened dull eyes, before closing them.

That day Ghost was born.

And that night Simon Riley died with his family, holding his wife...

He truly became a man then, all the innocence of childhood gone with time and the wind.

Ghost always hates dreaming of her, dreaming about being Simon. Dreaming about happier times. He didn't want to remember her. She's dead, and he can't change that.

Yes, she haunted him. Her smile, her laughter, her voice— all haunted him. He couldn't run from her, from the love he felt. His heart always still longs for her.

His Buttercup.

He knows it's all in his head, but he wishes she haunted him, maybe then he could have peace with the last remnant of his childhood, of a pure love long lost, he wished for one last time he could talk to Cecilia.

---------------------------------

The mission is chaotic, it instantly goes south as soon as they arrive, a gruesome dogfight begins, seizing lands inch by inch. 141 ran into a building where Makarov's Konni group was working on something strange.

They were building something strange, a machine... maybe a new weapon for war, the clues for what they were building were scattered. Laswell and Shepard are working on decoding this new machine and the task force is hunting it down.

They burst into the room, and there were four men moving buttons and gears, before anyone could react one of those men pushed something and the machine started.

With synchronizing shots, the four men were down. Soap rush forwards.

"Watcher 1, we capture the weapon but it's on." He shouts into the radio.

"Alright Bravo 7-1, Bravo 0-7 go to the other side and flip the switch," Ghost moves without a second thought and lift the switch. A jolt of electricity runs through him, and he lets out a grunt of pain.

"Laswell!" Price shouts as the Machine swirls even faster as if they activated it from a meandering state.

"God damn it," she said over the comms, and soon the machine produces a bright eye irritating glow and they all winced. The light fades and there standing is a woman.

"Whit a beautiful woman," Soap gasps out. Ghost blinks furiously and looks.

His heart stopped, his mouth grew dry as a desert, and he clutched his gun even tighter.

Her once long golden hair was short and brown, but that face was still hers, those beautiful... her eyes were different...

"Put your hands up!" Gaz yells pointing his gun at her.

Simon almost runs forward to protect his wife, but Ghost stays back because he knows that the perfect woman is gone. She looks around face shocked.

"Captain?" She calls out. Price stiffens and looks at this woman with caution.

"McTavish," Soap froze and he shakily looked at her. She looks around and down at the thing in her hand. It was a folded uniform of a SAS member.

"Me?" Soap slowly said, he turned to Ghost them Price, why him of all of them him?

"Captain McTavish." She repeats, she looks around confused, "and you must be Captain Price."

"How do you know us?" Price asks his gun trained on her.

"You served with my Husband."

"Who?" Gaz asks.

"Simon Riley."

---------------------------------

"Start from the beginning," Sergeant McTavish asks his eyes darting to the one-way glass window. He felt nervous asking this pretty woman to explain this ridiculous story of hers.

"Where do I begin?"

"Start with how you met your husband."

"Well, it starts with a woman named Beth. We became friends and one day I was hanging out with her and her boyfriend when my future husband turned up. From there we just fell in love."

"How do you know me?" Soap asks, he had to hear it again. She smiled as if his question was a little ridiculous.

"You are a captain of 141 and worked with my Husband. You... you were the one to tell me my husband died in person. You couldn't stay you were so busy, but you wanted to do it in person." Soap subconsciously nods, it sounds right, it sounds within his character to do.

Laswell opens the door, and moves to everyone else, a knock on the door, and Soap walks inside. They all waited for her to say her piece, "The machine you discovered pulls on quantum mechanics."

Price furrowed his brought and let out a sigh, "What does that mean?"

"She's from another dimension."

"That is Bullshit."

"Kyle," Laswell said calmly, "I've seen it, her dimension is a mess, there was a World War Three."

"How bad was it?" Ghost asks breaking the silence of Laswell's words.

"A nuke was dropped, and the United States was invaded by Russia." A cold silence settles down in their muscles and bones.

"I'm going to ask her about it if it lines up with what we discover she is from another dimension." Laswell cleared her throat and walked out of the room and into the interrogation room.

"Hello, miss—"

"Cilia." The woman replies with a smile.

"Will you tell us more about the war?" Laswell asks, Cilia's face pales and she looks very uncomfortable.

"It... It started with a massacre in a Russian airport by Americans, but, later on, was connected to an ultranationalist called Vladimir Makarov." Cilia said. Laswell froze and her eyes darted over to the one-way mirror before nodding. "But before that in the Middle East over 30,000 marines were killed in 2011."Laswell's mouth drops open.

"What happened?"

"A nuke was dropped on them, by who I don't know."

"But after the Airport incident, Russia invaded the east coast of America and took over D.C." Cilia falls silent and she looks rather sad.

"What about your husband?" Tears roll down Cilia's face she pushes her tears back.

"He died about a month ago on the Russian-Georgian border," She gasps out.

"Simon," Price turns to Ghost who stands inches away from the glass window arms folded body tense. He hadn't moved an inch like a statue he stood still and riding, breath shallow and conservative.

It was so similar to his story, but all the core facts were wrong. Her brown hair and earthen eyes are the opposite of her normal appearance. She should have green eyes.

"Cecilia," he whispers before turning to Price.

"Does your late wife look like her?" Price asks, he knew a little more of this mysterious man than any other task force member.

Ghost nods.

"That is the face of my wife."

--------------------------

"Will you talk to her?" Soap asks, looking at Ghost who was cleaning his gun.

"There is no need for me to talk to her." Ghost mumbles not looking up from his duty, he wanted nothing to do with that woman, for she brought out a dead man and years of pain and joy.

"What about her needs?" Gaz asks. Ghost's lips form a thin line of distaste.

"That wouldn't be a good idea."

"Why not?"

"She needs to go back to her dimension giving her any sort of hope is cruel." Ghost said trying to convince the rest, but it was clear he was trying to convince himself.

"It's not cruelled to know someone," Soap mumbles.

Ghost gets up and walks away leaving the two. He needed to think far away from them and far away from her. He walks to the training ground to do some reps anything to keep her out of his mind, his beautiful wife.

"... Are you Ghost," Ghost froze and slowly turned around to see Cilia standing there, at the maw of the training room.

Ghost didn't answer.

She walked forward, and every step made Ghost's heartbeat beat even faster. She was inches away did his breath turned ragged, he felt like a cornered animal.

"... It can't be," she covered her mouth tears brimming in her eyes, "Simon?"

Ghost couldn't say anything. What does he say? What does he do?

"It's so nice to meet you," She smiled even though their tears in her eyes. "My name is Cilia; we were married at another time."

"I know," Ghost said softly, lowering his gaze at her.

"You remind me of my wife," Her smile stiffens, lips slightly downturn before she smiles again.

What was that?

"What was her name?"

"Cecilia." Her eyes darken.

"So similar to me..." She said awkwardly, Ghost could only nod... he wanted so badly to take off his mask and let Simon see her. Ghost reaches out and touches her face.

How similar, it was so cruel.

--------------------------

Ghost sat in his barrack room and reached inside his bag, wrapped in the silken scarf of his late wife. He unfurls it and inside a beautiful necklace of cold milky pearls dangles from his hands.

He bought it on the first anniversary of their marriage. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it gently.

Cilia had beautiful pearl earrings, like pink roses did they dangle from her ears, it must be from his counterpart. Pearls did look wonderful on her, for that small conversation he nearly deluded himself into thinking that was Cecilia.

He closed his eyes the pearl necklace in his hands, and that night he dreamt of Cecilia and the flower fields of their youth, buttercups all around her.

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2.3K words

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod #cod mw2 #task force 141 #simon ghost riley #simon riley x oc #fanfic

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moriartyluver · 10 months

Text

FALSE LOVERS CHAPTER I

MY DEAREST MOTHER AND FATHER,

How are you? I do hope the two of you are well. I truly miss you both and as if fate has brought us back together once more, I am writing to invite you to visit me in London. I look forward to hearing father's wholesome laughter and mother's silent but affectionate smile.

After months of mother reminding me that I must find a husband to secure my future title of the Grand Duchess [Last name], I have finally found a suitable husband for myself whom I love with all my heart.

Do you remember when you came to visit me at university when I was eighteen years of age? I hope you do. There was a boy there who was talking to me right before father approached me with mother following behind. Father joked about how he seemed to be a potential suitor to which I promptly denied in annoyance.

That young, once irritating, boy is to become my husband within the next few months. We had been courting secretly for a while before our engagement, and the day of the proposal was possibly the happiest day of my life.

William, that is his name if you didn't remember, is a good man. His older brother is Earl Albert James Moriarty, a man who works for the military and his younger adopted brother, Louis James Moriarty is equally noble despite his background. William holds them both dear to him which I find the most beautiful thing.

He's selfless, intelligent (I recall mother making the remark that I would find it difficult to settle with a less clever man than I because I always sought competition in a partner. I suppose she was right because our rivalry in intellect is what drew me to William in the first place) , and very, very handsome. Not like those older men with bushy facial hair and large statures who repulse me ever so slightly, but rather, William has a beautiful sharp and youthful face with the most darling red eyes, more precious than any jewels I've seen in my days in [home country]. His hair is silky and soft with the prettiest blond colour and he always, even when enveloped in fatigue, maintains this angelic beauty.

I couldn't be more happy with any other man. I now realise that the two of you were right when you said I would find a man for myself someday who I will love dearly, and who would love me even more, just like my dear parents love each other.

Was this unexpected? When I was sent to Britain for my studies by the request of my parents, did you ever feel the urge to keep me in [home country] with you? When everyone told the Grand Duke and Duchess that I would become less desirable if I studied in a man's field, did you ever agree with them?

I wouldn't blame you, of course. Although higher education is becoming more available to those of my sex, it is still surprising to some. Thankfully, [home country] is slightly more progressive than England. Sending your only child, and daughter at that, to a separate and somewhat controversial country due to Great Britain's relations with [home country], only for her to study in University then work as a professor despite my status, it must have been upsetting.

I'm glad that during my youngest years as only a mere child with a heavy interest in books and mathematics, Father and Mother, you both noticed my talent. My intellect was recognised and I am forever grateful towards both of you for raising me, not as a feeble young girl, but as the daughter of [father's name] and [mother's name], the Grand Duke and Duchess of [home country]. I was raised with swords and books alongside my dolls and dresses. I wasn't forced to reject my femininity but instead encouraged to embrace it whilst also enhancing my strength and intelligence.

Thanks to the two of you, I am working only for myself and I never, no matter how many degrading comments from noblemen I received, changed myself for anyone. With that upbringing, I had high enough standards to accept a man like william into my world. I hope that you both grow to love him as I do.

So until I see you again, with your blessing for my marriage, I bid you farewell.

With love and admiration,

[Name] [Last name]

"I wonder if that'll convince them," (name) turned to look at her closest aide. "What do you think, Josephine?"

The girl in question looked at the letter in (name)'s hand, her grey eyes skimming over the paper. Her mistress had taught her well and she was able to read the letter with ease.

"You write all that and you still deny that you love Lord Moriarty?" Josephine laughed as she teased (name), who scowled and quickly folded the letter, sliding it into the envelope.

"I don't love him!" she exclaimed, her eyebrows furrowing as her previously empty expression shifted to an irritated one "I just..I needed it to be convincing. My parents, well my father may act a bit silly, but they can both see through me easily in person. I've had to practice my acting skills in the mirror every morning whilst trying not to laugh! It's difficult work Josephine Evans!"

Josephine only laughed more, to the extent tears even threatened to spill from her eyes. A pale finger reached over to wipe her eyes as the brunette tried to regain her composure. "My..ha..My apologies, your ladyship, but I don't think you'll have any issues convincing your parents. Even I find it difficult to remember sometimes that you an' Lord William aren't a real couple."

"So it is convincing..?" (Name) trailed off "I suppose that issue is sorted..I don't think my parents care too much for the status of the man I marry. Mother is tired of me constantly rejecting my supposed admirers, and father would be glad that his little (nickname) has finally fallen for a man after so long."

"Uhm.." Josephine opened her mouth to speak. (Name) turned around in her chair to face Josephine who was standing behind her. She raised an eyebrow.

"What is it Josephine? You know you can speak freely with me. I'm not a tyrant." (Name) said

"Right..my apologies if this sounds rude, but..how are you to deal with the issue of.." Josephine felt her freckled cheeks grow red in embarrassment

"The issue of...?"

"Offspring!" Josephine said a bit too loud " I mean-..how uh..do you plan to uh...you said earlier that your father joked that he wanted grandchildren so-"

(Name)'s face visibly darkened as if she had seen a ghost. The thought hadn't crossed her mind before hand. It would have been deemed improper in such an era when even seeing a woman's ankles was scandalous.

"I..don't know.." (name) whispered in a depressing tone. "For the first time in my life, I don't think I know the answer.."

"I'm sorry Lady (name)!" Josephine exclaimed as she bowed repeatedly to her depressed mistress "I shouldn't have asked!!"

"I think I should probably talk to William about that..wait no..that's be embarrassing..but if I don't produce an offspring, rumours may spread that our marriage is an unhappy one or that I'm infertile..because of course it's always the woman's fault..maybe rumours would spread that William has a secret lover behind my back..I don't think I could bare that at all..and I can't expose a child to murder and death like that.."

(Name) had started muttering and spiralling in her thoughts. Surely doing..it..with William would be out of the question, right? He wouldn't even dream of such things..at least she hoped he wasn't a pervert of some sort..no..William? A pervert..? Surely the man was still chaste anyways..no woman would be attracted to such a rotten man in (name)'s eyes, let alone love him.

"L-Lady (name)..? I think it's best you sleep on it..it is late after all, and your uncle," Josephine spoke, snapping (name) out of her thoughts "I mean the Marquis, has reminded you to rest every so often.."

(Name) nodded, "I'll quickly stamp this letter and have it sent before morning so it can reach my parents before the engagement ceremony, then I'll sleep.." she said as she poured red wax on the seal of the envelope, stamping it with her personal seal and handing the envelope to Josephine who quickly left to send it off whilst (name) went to bed.

And how did this young lady somehow trap herself in a fake marriage? The problem had routed to about a year before, when she had to ask for help from a certain blond for the first time in her life.

At the time she regretted doing so for the sake of her pride, but now, there would be a lot more to regret in the future thanks to her involvement with Professor William James Moriarty..

The Lord of Crime.

A/N: hey guys, first actual chapter lol. Please give (nice) feedback because I’ve never uploaded a long series to tumblr before so I don’t really know if you guys will like it or not 😞 (please be nice about the feedback or I will cry) Also let me know if you guys wanna be on my tag list bc I’m thinking of making one.

#moriarty the patriot #william james moriarty #william moriarty #william moriarty x reader #mtp william #yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #moriarty the patriot x reader #yuumori x reader

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sororalice · 15 days

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On The Blessedness Of Suffering

Homily for the New Moon in Aries 4-8-24.

Dearly Beloved,

Happy New Moon in Aries!

On this very special New Moon, occasioned by a solar eclipse and thus reinforcing and complicating the New Moon formula lunar energy with the IAO formula solar energy of the death and rebirth of the Sun, I am moved to talk about a subject which is not popular in most circles for obvious reasons: suffering, and the role of suffering in the spiritual life.

It is part of the fate of people to suffer. No matter how rich and powerful, no matter how poor and humble, we all experience suffering. Sometimes our suffering comes from without, from our bodies and our circumstances. This sort of suffering can often be alleviated…we treat the illness, we mend the injury, we minister to those in need, and so on. Sometimes, however, our suffering comes from within, and this sort of suffering is often much harder to alleviate.

In moments where we suffer, we tend to ask simple questions, the questions of a child: “Can’t this be otherwise? Is this necessary?” But let us assume that we have already answered these questions: no, it cannot be otherwise and yes, this suffering is necessary, by which I mean that it cannot, under any possible circumstances, be avoided.

Are we, as pagans who believe in a naturalized theology, to argue with this suffering? Are we to say through our tears: “How can this happen? Why am I suffering?” Do we, as pagans, demand an account of suffering in the same manner as our siblings among the other religions? I say “yes”. Yes, we need an account of suffering, a justification for suffering, a way to give our suffering meaning.

As theists, many of us believe that the events which occur in the physical world are ordained to some degree by divine providence. We believe that the Divine, in some form or another, manifests the phenomena that we experience through our lives in a way that is intended to guide us and move us forward towards growth, health, and prospering. In short, many of us believe that the Divine is benevolent. “The gods are good”.

Yes, that includes the dark, cthonic deities and spirits that can sometimes be scary and wild. Even the qlipoth serve a divine purpose, and the vast majority of the entities labeled as demons now had divine origins and were simply demonized by those who could not accept that the dark is just as much a part of nature as the light. Your average demon, just as much as your average angel, seeks and serves the good as best they can, and like angels and deities, most demons are “load-bearing”…they do metaphysical work holding reality together. In this sense, even the demons are good. All things are the Divine and all things serve the Divine…including suffering.

How do I know this? I cite three authorities: the lore and teachings that have been handed down for millennia, the accounts of mystics of almost all extant traditions, and the lived results of actually pursuing the spiritual life attested by practitioners throughout the ages.

Our most ancient lore has the deities and spirits teaching us medicine, herbalism, music, mathematics, astrology, astronomy, writing, agriculture, and metallurgy, as well as magick and religion. Every mystery, both light and dark, every part of our world, both sweet and spicy, all are the direct work of the Divine and administered in the Divine’s distributed form as the deities we come to know and with whom we work. Every bit of it (except for the “true demons” which we humans have created, such as “Capitalism”, “Colonialism”, and “Bigotry”) is holy. Sweet fruit for our bellies and mouths, sweet love for our bodies and hearts, and a world full of mysteries for our minds to explore…the lore of all traditions teaches that these are the blessings that the Divine is giving us.

In addition to the evidence of our shared traditions and lore, we have the innumerable mystical experiences recorded by practitioners all over the world and throughout history to attest to the basic goodness of the deities and spirits we have encountered. Again and again, people have experiences where they touch the Divine and the Divine touches them. And in these moments we see and feel the love of the Divine. We experience Their basic goodness as They urge us towards growth, towards goodness, and to the Great Work of unification with the Divine, of blessed theosis. They weep with us, They laugh with us, They cradle us in Their arms for the span of our lives, and finally They take us home at the end of the game so we can prepare for our next trip to the playground.

Finally, we have the attested and consistently reported results of people living the spiritual life: when someone pursues the Great Work (however you may know it), deliberately engages in consistent and sustained relationship with the Divine, and then pursues a life based upon that relationship, the result upon their psyche and life is beneficial and restorative. The Divine urges us on to the “Great Work”, “the Path”, the movement towards growth, development, and ongoing becoming more and more who we are. And as we pursue this Work, as we walk down the Path and grow, develop, and become, we become better people. We become happier, even when suffering. We become more loving, more wise, and more good, even in the very depths of despair.

Now, how does this connect to the problem of suffering? How does the evidence of our lore, our mystical experiences, and the beneficial changes within us as we do the Great Work answer the questions that burn within us as we suffer? To answer that question we have to move out of the very big concepts and entities that we have been talking about and get very small and very personal.

What does it do to us when we suffer? It inspires us to change and grow, to move beyond the suffering and into a new way of being. Sometimes this is true, and we relish in these moments. But often this is an easy way out, an easy excuse, the excuse of the abuser, that our suffering is really for our own good. In addition to this, there are times that, due to the horrors created by humans acting unethically, this process has been hijacked and suffering has been turned into torture. And there are times that it seems that our suffering from illness and age serves no purpose we can see. It is very hard to see how such cases as these can be turned to good, how our suffering can act as a crucible or serve some greater purpose in our spiritual development. I am the first to lament these moments, these places where the system seems to break down.

But there is hope.

In the tale of Pandora, all the evils that plague humanity escaped from the jar which Pandora opened out of curiosity, but one thing remained within: hope. One thing was passed down from her, Pandora, the Receiver and Giver of All Gifts, mother of humanity, and catspaw in Zeus’s revenge on Prometheus for His acts of creation and the theft of fire: hope. This one thing became the common inheritance of every human as they were born into this world where the sufferings, the passions, as the ancients would have called them, have been set free: hope. All the suffering that anyone can ever encounter lives in a constant relationship, a constant dialectic, with one other force, our common birthright as minds and souls and hearts, our common gift from the Divine and the partner of suffering: hope.

And it is hope that lets us change. It’s hope that lets us grow. It’s the dance between suffering and hope that makes the Great Work possible, that lets us blossom into something more than we were before. The existence of time makes change possible, but it is the existence of hope that gives change a direction, that tells it which way to go. Suffering is a doorway to spiritual growth, but hope is what lets us keep walking through that doorway.

So go forward into this New Moon, beloved. Let hope lead you into your new possibilities as the Spring progresses, even as suffering teaches you its lessons. Let these divine twins, Hope and Suffering, teach you Their lessons.

In love,

Soror Alice

Art: John William Waterhouse, “Pandora”, (1896)

#pagan #paganism #spiritual #spirituality #mystical #mysticism #religion #magick #occultism #occult #witch #witchcraft #pagan witch #homily #new moon #moon

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azlrse · 2 years

Text

Chains of Obsession and Love (Yandere Asmodeus x GN Human!Reader)

Synopsis: It didn't take long for his regret to turn into something else; obsession and the desire for you to be his again.

CW: yandere themes, suggestive themes, cheat fic, implied kidnapping, murder and stalking, manipulation, mentions of chains and pure angst (this is wayy more darker than my previous fics!!).

A/N: my first time writing for Asmodeus djdhfh I hope he's interpreted well in this fic!!

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

You never knew on how happy you are when you first entered a relationship with the Avatar of Lust himself. For Asmodeus, love isn't something he constantly felt in his daily life, only lust. His charisma and the way his words swoon everyone under their feet, wether it's an angel, a demon or an ordinary human, no one can escape those pretty hypnotic eyes that everyone couldn't resist.

You thought that being in an established relationship with Asmodeus would stop him from seeing someone else. You thought that despite his past flings and lovers in the past, you'll be the only one whom he loves dearly. From being the best of friends and eventually, becoming lovers, there's no doubt that the two of you you'd become the sweetest and most loving couple in all of Devildom.

He treated you with lots of love and adoration and you loved him with all your heart as his words and reassuring smile never fails to bring a smile on your face. However, there's one thing your former boyfriend didn't seem to understand. The most crucial part in a person's romantic relationship with the other person; loyalty and devotion.

You looked at the grandfather clock and your eyes seem to squint for a bit. It's 1:30 in the morning and here you are, drinking tea as you say down on the couch, reading a book that Satan gave you as a birthday gift. Upon reading, you felt something off within your chest but decided to shrug it off. You reassured yourself that Asmo went to RAD in order to finish up some of his lacking requirements for school.

Suddenly, you heard a loud bang from upstairs, particularly in your boyfriend's room. You've became extremely worried, worried that some lowly demon might break into the House of Lamentation and had the potential to either harm the others or steal some of their most valuable items. You cautiously put down both your book and your cup of tea as you tip toe through the empty hallways of the house.

Armed with a vase (which you didn't have choice with, even when you're hella scared towards Lucifer when this vase breaks), you charged towards the source of the loud noise which is towards the door of your boyfriend's room. As you open the door and holding the vase with an firm grip, ready to strike down the intruder who took refuge in Asmo's room, you saw a different sight aside from what you imagined.

Your thoughts are heavy and it all went down when you saw him; making out with one of the succubus. The heavy feeling of sadness, anger and bitterness had surfaced in your head as you stared in anger towards him and his fling. "Looks like I got a hold of the Avatar of Lust, sorry if it sends you off, you pathetic human hehe."

What pisses you off is that he didn't regreted his actions nor the succubus right beside him, giving you a sly smile as she cuddles towards him even closer. "I'm sorry, my dear but I couldn't handle it. It's part of myself being the Avatar of Lust. Plus, I don't see on how serious our relationship is, I thought that having someone else is just normal for us demons." He shrugged and he shows a small smile on his face.

"You disgusting piece of shit, I knew that this day would come." You shook your head sideways as years began to spill from your face. You felt like someone was choking you, unable to breathe as you stared both of the from afar. All your efforts, for him to love you and to be his only significant other had been thrown out like trash. Destined to be garbage to be thrown away towards the sea of sadness and regret.

You only saw red towards him. All your love, loyalty and devotion towards him was long gone and was replaced with wrath and anger. He had the audacity to invite you on the bed with his fling after he was caught cheating on you?

You felt so used and pathetic as of this moment...

He only saw you as one of his so-called flings...

He didn't love you but just used you for his own amusement...

As tears flow down from your face, you just said a small "fuck you" towards him and his fling. Closing the door on the harshest way as possible, making him and his fling flinch from the sudden noise. But the Avatar of Lust didn't care that much. He continues his intimate business with the succubus he just brought home.

What he didn't know is that's the last time he saw you ever again...

For the duration of your stay at Devildom, you've stayed at the Purgatory Hall together with Luke and Simeon. You've become very appreciative for their kind gesture after witnessing one of the worst ordeals in your love life. As for the demon brothers, whom you befriended during the past months of your stay on Devildom, all of them respected your wishes to stay there but was upset towards their brother whom you loved and cherished.

The road towards your recovery wasn't that easy and due to the sheer amount of negativity towards him, you requested Lord Diavolo to send you home months before your stay as an exchange student was over. He was sadden by the sudden proposal you requested but he deeply respected that. He wished that you could've stayed at Devildom for a while before your departure, even invited you to stay at his castle but you refused. You reassured him that you'll come visit this realm when you're finally recovered and moved on him.

You never even bothered to say your farewells towards him, only to his 6 brothers and there's nothing you could do. All of those bittersweet memories, the time where you said yes to be his lover and the way he swoons you over by his flirty and heartfelt words, it was all now a distant memories from the past. You no longer loved him and see him as your boyfriend.

For a mere human, you remained strong even as tears had flowed within your eyes. Asmodeus was just another obstacle for you to overcome, focusing on yourself in the realm where you belong.

As days turned into months, Asmodeus's pride had only gotten worse. He didn't accept the fact that just because he hooked up with one of his flings doesn't mean you wanted to break up with. He didn't bothered to send in an apology towards his ex-lover as he goes to countless parties and coming home drunk, which the eldest brother didn't like.

The more he partied and drank so much liquor, the more he thought about you. He still remembered how much you cared and loved him, even accepted his demon instincts and as the avatar of lust. The way you promised yourself that you'll only have eyes for him alone and reassuring him that he's the most handsome demon you laid your eyes on.

His brothers noticed the changes he went through after you left Devildom months ago; he no longer goes out to socialize with his peers, he didn't have the energy to eat and taking care of himself. Asmodeus only live a life of solitude, reassuring himself that this mess he created wasn't his fault in the first place. He thinks that you'd should be the one who should ask for forgiveness for doing such extreme act towards him.

As his eyes take a glance at that one picture frame that hung on the wall; showing that smile he absolutely adored as he hugs your waist during a vacation at Diavolo's private island.

He totally lost it. The avatar of lust finally cried as he caresses the only item he didn't threw out. He missed all of your features and the acts of love you've shown towards him. Your kisses and hugs are what matters to him. He apologizes over and over again for his actions. Because of you, you finally shown him what love is like and what it means to have a romantic relationship with the person he absolutely fell deeply in love with. You are the only human who'd shown him these feelings and how much he regretted the acts and mistakes he committed.

He will get you back. Asmodeus reassures himself that once he goes above the human realm and asks for your forgiveness, the two of you will get back together as a sweet couple the two of you once were.

Until he heard those words that haunts him as he faced you in your home realm, an attempt for him to get you back by your side. "I appreciate those flowers Asmodeus," Did you just said his name? Where's the endearments he loved? Honey? Sweetie? Did you finally moved on from him? He felt the sins of his past mistakes crawling on his back upon hearing his real name from your mouth.

"But I couldn't get back to you after what you've have done. I haven't forgiven you yet and there's no way I could see you as my boyfriend. Now will you excuse me, I still have some school papers to work on." You spoke with a small pinch of venom laced on your voice. Your head stood up high as you walk away from him. You never felt this rush of confidence in your body, encountering the avatar of lust as an attempt for him to win you back.

It's a sad and desperate move, if you're honest. You still remembered all those desperate words he told you as he hold your hand, his eyes began to water while staring at you.

"W-what? What do you mean you've finally moved on?! I-I have changed! I promise I'll stop seeing other demons and I'll stay devoted on you! Just take me back, my love!"

It makes you feel bad towards you ex-boyfriend but nonetheless accepted that this is your life now. Living the life you rightfully deserved after he cheated and used you like a porcelain doll. Yes, he shattered you into bits of pieces but gathering all the shattered remains of your body, you stood tall and determined as you step forward to create your own story.

However, Asmodeus couldn't accept it. He even cried harder as soon as he stepped foot within his room. Smothering his cries and sobs with his pillow. He didn't care that his pillow was now covered with tears, saliva and snot from his excessive crying. He tried everything for you to crawl back towards him like sending small trinkets, flowers and some of your favorite sweets.

His obsessive thoughts about you became so bad that he killed one of his flings as a way to prove to you that he's still devoted towards you. Don't you want this? This pathetic lowly demon to be executed? Why didn't you just be happy and be appreciative towards his actions?

He also kept an eye on you. Stalking through your social media and even created several accounts in order for him to get in contact with you. It escalated from being desperate into an obsessive episode and threaten some humans who were in contact towards you to stay away from you.

This demon couldn't get enough of you and this made you even more paranoid and nervous as more and more unknown messages are appearing through your message box.

"I couldn't live without you..."

"You are still mine to begin with..."

"Don't you ever underestimate the wrath of the avatar of lust..."

"I love you so much my darling..."

"I'll be watching you, protecting you from anyone else..."

"can't wait for you to be mine once again.."

This went on for months until you finally had enough of his antics. You wanted to call for help, you really do. But just like the old saying says; 'the wall has ears'. Fearing that if you asked any of your peers for help, this demon will be pissed and don't hesitate to slaughter those who came close to you.

Hundreds of messages came flooding through your phone as the notification sound from the speakers had driven you into the depths of insanity. "Alright, if this is a sick game you just came up with, it won't work towards me. Come and face me, you coward!" You screamed for him to stop, a scowl had form from your face as your eyes looked through every corner of your bedroom. The haunting sound from the phone had finally stopped and a small giggle was heard from the corner of the room.

"My my, aren't you a fiesty one, my love. I knew that you couldn't resist my own beauty!" Your body quickly reacted upon hearing the same voice you sourly favored when the you still considered him as your lover. The sickening and sugarcoated words he spoke through his mouth makes you really nauseous from the inside. "Don't you dare call me that endearment. I have a name and it's MC!"

"I know that, darling but sometimes you gotta go with the endearments. They're way more convenient and heartfelt than your usual name, don't you think?" At this point, your head took sharp turns, taking a look on each and every corner of the dim-lit room on search for the perpetrator. You're gonna hold your phone as an attempt to be in contact with one of your friends when it suddenly loosen it's grip on your hand, causing it to be thrown towards the wall and shattering it into bits of pieces. "What the hell-"

"Naughty naughty, your shouldn't call someone for help. Why can't you just be contented when you have me to ask for help? Don't you see I'm doing this for you? For us to get back together? Can't you just forgive me for what I've done and just get back together?" You let out a small mocking laugh upon hearing what he'd said towards you. "Listen here you snake, there's no 'us' in this relationship any more. You proved and shown me that I'm just a side piece in order for your needs to be fulfilled. I still regretted the day when I said yes to your little declaration of love and I'm tired of you constantly running around and use the excuse of going to school just to be with your flings. Let these words go through your thick skull,"

"I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE AND JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

You've braced yourself for pain from your boyfriend after you screamed your words of bitterness and anger but there were none. In fact, you didn't see a shadow lurking around the walls of your room nor the pink aura that was present within the area. You thought that the ordeal was over and you can continue to live on with your life peacefully as a heavy weight of your shoulders began to lighten up.

"Finally, I can finally live in peace. No more demons to encounter or someone who's very obsessed and desperate for me to crawl back towards him. Such a pathetic move if I'm honest."

Before you make your way to exit your room, a hand suddenly took a tight and firm grip on your neck. Making you scream as you began to thrash around in an attempt to free yourself. You screamed for help but a hand was covering your mouth. Before you know it, tears began to appear on your eyes, fearing for your life.

"Who you call pathetic, darling? You know that I'm still here even if I was a shadow to begin with.."

And there he was, the Avatar of Lust himself, in his demon form and takes hold of your fragile and shaking body. "Let me go! Let me go you monster!" His eyes glowed a soft pink color while he caresses your cheek in an attempt to comfort you. As you look into his eyes, all you felt was a wave of relaxation began to invade through your body. Your body began to weaken and as a result, you went limped and began to lean into your ex-boyfriend's firm chest. "Just look into my eyes love and you'll be okay. I promise you that you'll be the only creature I love for as long as I'm still breathing."

You attempted to speak out but all of your words had turned into mumbles, making you unable to speak back at him. He knew those words coming from your mouth. You are trying to control him once again from the pact you established with him before the two of you became a couple. Asmo lets out a quiet chuckle as he carries you in his arms back to Devildom.

"If you're thinking of using the pact against me, controlling me against your will then you're wrong my dear. Didn't you know that I placed a small curse on you, making you unable to use those pacts against me and towards my brothers. Now rest well because you'll be coming home with me, right where you truly belong."

And through his words, you felt your eyes began to close off as sleep began to catch up to you.

. ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

You woke up by the soft clings produced by the chains attached at the ankle of your leg. The room seems very familiar to you; vins and flowers attached on the frame of the bed, soft colored canopy and walls are seen within your eyes and the sweet smell of perfume invading through your nose. For you, it was relaxing but your eyes are still half lidded from the aftermath of the demons hypnotic eyes that were used to knock you out fast.

Slowly getting up from the soft pillows and saw his figure hugging your waist, your eyes began to widen up upon realizing your situation.

You're being kidnapped by none other than your ex-boyfriend.

"Don't move away, love. I just want to pamper you with so much affection and love. Don't you feel the love surrounding the both of us, darling?" Without hesitation, you pushed him away from your body, making him falling off his own bed. "Stay away from me, demon! Bring me back to where I belong!" Asmo groans in pain as he stood up from the cold floor of his bedroom. "B-but this is where you truly belong. With me here in Devildom. What I must do for you to forgive me and to accept me back as your boyfriend?"

"Bring me back to the human realm and I might consider your offer, except in the boyfriend part of course."

.....

"I'm afraid I cannot allow it, darling."

He slowly walks around the frame of the huge bed, his eyes slowly gazing towards your own eyes as you moved towards the other side of the bed in an attempt to get away from him. "See that chain? With that, you cannot go out in this room without my permission and of course, it's indestructible." You look in horror on the chain that was placed on your ankle. It was soft on the inside, padded with soft and warm fur but was rock hard on the outside.

Fed up on what's happening to you, you finally let your tears slide through your face as you glared towards Asmo. Upon seeing those tears, he wiped those using his hands as you mumbled a soft "I hate you" towards him.

"I know you can't forgive for what I've done in the past and this day but fret not darling." He places a soft kiss on your head. "I am willing to wait for you to return those feelings and for you to be mine once again, even if it takes hundreds of years, my love and my precious human."

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

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#tw yandere #obey me x reader #yandere obey me #yandere obey me x reader #asmodeus x reader #yandere asmodeus #obey me asmodeus #asmodeus x you #obey me fic #yandere x reader

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asvterias · 2 years

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𝖡𝗋𝗈𝗄𝖾𝗇 𝖯𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗌𝖾𝗌 ~ 𝖧𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝖬𝗂𝗄𝖺𝖾𝗅𝗌𝗈𝗇

Warnings: Major Angst, Main Character Death, Blood, Violence & Grief

Pairings: Hope Mikaelson x Bennett!Girlfriend Witch Reader, Benzo x Daughter!Reader

Summary: Being the one and only daughter of Bonnie Bennett and Enzo St. John was legendary but dating Hope Mikaelson was superior. That all comes crashing down when a final battle comes between Hope and malivore in the form of her ex Landon Kirby.

Word Count: 3,178

Author’s Note: I tried to make this as angst as possible. If I made you cry, I'm overjoyed. This would be my first angst without an happy ending and there's definitely a part 2 following hope's humanity.

*gif is not mine, it belongs to [x]*

Starting the scenery off which traveled to the Salvatore Boarding School leading to your dorm with whom you shared with Hope Mikaelson. Right now you were both arguing on how Hope was gonna sacrifice herself to Malivore.

“I don't want or need you sacrificing yourself anymore, Hope.” You said, your arms folded as a frown tugged across your lips.

The tribid shrugged, “I'm sorry, angel, but that's not really your choice.”

You've been dating Hope for a long time to know that whenever she has her mind set on something, she would continue with that. It was one of the things that you admired her so much but right now — you're completely loathing it. Why do the Mikaelsons insist on being so god damn stubborn when it comes to their own good?

“Please be safe.” You warned your girlfriend, “We don't know what Malivore's capable of.” You finished, walking around the room, trying to occupy yourself with anything else.

The auburn beams at your worried tone and walks towards you before she cups your face gently, “Hey, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me.” That only worried you more. Like, how can you not worry about her right after she typically said to not worry about her. Brushing away the small tears away from your cheek as she gave you an upward smile.

“Okay, just take this.” You took off her family necklace and gave it to her. “For good luck.” You helped her put the mikaelson necklace around her neck.

Turning back to you and she holds your hands to ease away your anxiety, “Always...”

“And forever...” You whispered back, letting hope's soft plump lips capture yours in a soft kiss.

“I'll be back before you know it, angel.” Was what she said after you pulled away. With that, she was gone, you still had an uneasy feeling about this, but regretfully you brushed it off. So returning back to your homework, your stomach still bubbled up with anticipation and unfortunately it got the best of you.

It seemed like even if you distracted yourself with something else, your girlfriend would always comes to mind. With every bad thought that came to mind, you repeatedly hit the led of your pencil harder than before as if it would calm you down. Overthinking is a real pain the ass.

Everything seemed to grew more anxious that was until you felt something stabbed you. On instinct, you clutch onto your stomach making you drop the pencil in the process and observe the pain. Once the pain subermged, you shakily raised your hand which was revealed a new fresh crimson blood. Looking at the thick liquid in horror before you looked down at your shirt which obviously caused the blood starting to seep on your shirt.

“What the hell?!” You exclaimed before your eyes widened in danger, “Hope!”

Not sparing a single second, you rushed out of the room making sure to grab your keys on the nightstand. Luckily for you, Hope told you where she was going to defeat Malivore so that gave you faith. Hopefully by the time you reach there, Hope wouldn't be dead.

Even though Hope was an unkillable creature, that doesn't mean that she had weak spots. And by weak spots, I mean the bennett witch who dearly loves her tribid girlfriend.

“Malivore, where are you?” Hope shouted, walking around careful to keep any eye out, “Let's finish this right now.”

On cue, Malivore walks out of his hiding spot with a creepy smile on his face. The body that he was possessing currently was her ex, Landon Kirby. “I eat monsters like you.” Malivore stated like that was an accomplishment.

Letting out a humorous chuckle before her eyes change color and said, “There is no monster like me.”

“Oh, great, your little girlfriend is here for the show as well.” Landon commented with a disgusting smirk on his face. His words caused hope to turn to you, her tribid eyes faltering at the sight of you. God, she was so whipped for you. Your running figure going definitely towards her.

“Hope, you need to break the li–“ You were cut off by a large gash slicing your stomach which caused you to clutch it in pain and stop mid-way stumbling on your feet. Hope lets out a surprised gasp but stays frozen in place.

Looking up vaguely, to notice a knife in his hands and also his stomach was bleeding exactly where your wound started to transform. The only difference was that his blood was black and he couldn't actually feel the pain. It didn't take a genius to know that you were now linked to him.

Stuck between whether to come to your aid or defeat malivore, Hope chose the better option at the moment – that was to save you.

“[Name]!” She yells, worry evident in her tone as she came running to you. Catching you just in time as your legs gave away. Letting you down gently against a wooden box as she swept a loose strand of hair from your face.

“I don't wanna die, Hope.” You whimpered, seeing more blood seep onto your shirt.

“You're not gonna die,” Hope hiccups, drying your own tears while trying to control her own, “Just hold on a little bit longer.” She nods her head while ripping a piece of her shirt for a bandage and she wrapped it around your waist. Pressing down on the wound to slow down the bleeding, “Please.”

Nodding back in agreement, she halfway smiles but it quickly vanishes when she sees your pained expression and another huge gash across your right cheek. The blood was intensely running down your face and now her tears were clouding her vision, can't bear to see her beautiful girlfriend in so much pain.

“Please, stop it. You're hurting her.” Hope pleaded with the enemy, “It's me you want, not her. Please, not her, she's all I have left.”

“That's the point Hope, you love her. So she suffers as well.”

The monster continued to ignore her pleas and continued to cut himself which caused you to react negatively to it. Hope was having a panic attack at the moment because her brain forced her to remember about how she promised your parents that she would always keep you safe.

And she was going to fulfill that promise, no matter what she had to do. But right now it felt like promises were going to be broken.

After the pain submerged, beads of sweat start running down your face. In the process of stopping your blood, it covered her hands. You wanted to faint at the sight of the amount of blood. Worse of all, it was yours and you couldn't magically add more into your body.

“I'm tired, hope.” You started to daze off, “One last kiss. That's all I ask.”

“No, no. I'm not giving you one last kiss because this is not the end for us.” Hope wailed, “I love you and I'm not going to lose you too. Not like I failed my parents.”

“You didn't fail your parents, Hopey. They sacrificed themselves for you because they truly did what any other loving parent would do for their child.”

“B-but I promised your parents that I would protect you,” The auburn stammers as she shook her head in disbelief, “How am I supposed to tell your parents that I failed them and got their miracle daughter – the one that they longed for — got killed in the process?”

A sudden rush of blood erupts out of your mouth and onto the floor as you started choking on the amount of blood, hearing louder sobs from the auburn. Settling your head back against a wooden box, still managing a smile on your face.

“H-how can you smile at a time like this?” Hope's voice cracks, her eyes getting cloudy again with more incoming tears.

“Guess you can say that I'm drop dead beautiful now." You sighed, "Besides I'd rather see you one last time.” Between her occasional sniffles, a little laugh arose from her lips. Her laugh had always brought you peace and joy so maybe — maybe you hoped that it would be the last thing that you hear.

“Always and forever, right?” She murmurs, bringing your hand to her lips for a gentle kiss.

“Well, isn't this poetic.” A voice taunts and Hope's face harden at the sudden interruption before she slowly turns around but you tugged on her. By doing so, Hope goes back to your attention.

“He's not important right now. We are important right now. Just us.” You concluded, wincing as you tried to fix your posture which the tribid immediately noticed and quickly helped you. “He's just distracting you.”

“Please, [name], you have to stay with me. You're my other half, my soulmate, the love of my life. I-I'm head over heels for you.” The young mikaelson started, “I've never told you how much I loved you a-and how I would marry you someday and start a family together.”

“Hope, you have to promise me something.” You let out a weakened wheezed as another gash formed across your now exposed stomach.

“Promises are f-for later. Right now all that matters is getting you healed.”

“Hope we're gonna be too late for and you know that.” You whispered, watching at how she couldn't contain to look at you in the eyes while blinking away more tears. Using your index finger, you forced her to look at you again watching how she slowly opened up her teary eyes, “You have to promise me that you'll never...under any circumstances turn off your humanity because I can't bear to know that your emotions are gone because of me.”

“Yeah, I promise you..” Hope said. You knew her tone was off was rushed because she just wanted to focus on healing you at the moment.

So with the little strength that you could muster up, you used it and pulled her in by the collar of her shirt for a passionate loving kiss. This kiss was different, it wasn't those lustful kisses that you two shared behind closed doors or just morning ones. It was one filled with compassion and longing.

But Hope knew that she had to let go because you weren't permanent in her life. Nobody could or would be permanent in the tribid's life. Oh, how Hope longed for this kiss to be a 'see you later' kiss and not a 'final goodbye' kiss.

The young Mikaelson wished that this was all a dream and you would be there to shake her awake and cuddle her so that she's safe again. She knew that she would have to face reality even if she doesn't like the outcome and who would be facing the consequences.

Closing both of your eyes, still trying to melt into the kiss and grasping the other tightly afraid to let go. Tasting the bittersweet of each other's tears as more slowly travel down your faces. At the moment, Hope didn't even care about air as she cupped your face and kissed back more passionately.

Slowly opening your eyes back, you went to say something but instead you started choking. Immediately alarmed by your interruption, Hope's eyes widen when she saw your neck getting painfully sliced opened by an invisible source and blood instantly spurted out of your neck.

The amount of distance from the two of you was a negative because some of the blood ended up across your girlfriend's face. She instantly bit into her wrist to give you her blood but was blocked by an invisible force.

“Had a witch put up a barrier spell to make this more interesting.”

He was forcing Hope to watch the life drain out of your eyes. She had to hear and see you, desperate for help. How your hand was reaching out to her. How your words broke up into pieces.

“[Name], please you can't leave me. You still have so much to do in this life.” She banged on the barrier but it was no use at all.

On instinct you gripped your sliced neck trying to close it up as quick as possible. Feeling like a fish out of water, the gurgling became repeated until most of your blood was splattering across the dirty ground. It was like someone was forcing you to drink water without any time breaks.

Until, it finally stopped. Hope's loud wails also came to a halt and her hand was practically glued to the invisible barrier.

With one gasp, your words which were literally caught in your throat and you weakly raised your hand to connect hers through the invisible spell and you began to spoke, “Hope....” With one final inhale, you finally shut your eyes, content knowing that you won't ever open them again.

And with that, your body became limp as your body hit the ground with a loud thud and the last audible sounds in your ears were Hope's heart aching screams and sobs. Banging on the invisible barrier until it finally disappeared as she immediately scurried over to your lifeless figure and cradled your head onto her lap. Ignoring the pool of blood as she rocked back and forth in grief, letting the tears out freely.

“Come on [name]. You aren't dead, come on, angel. This isn't the end for you.” Hope broke down into even more tears. She never felt so useless before in life. This wasn't the first time that she was unable to save someone she loved from death.

Dismaying you with a kiss on the forehead, she felt her own tears ran down your warm face. “I'm so sorry, angel. I've never meant for this to happen to you.”

Determination washed away sorrow as her eyes make way on your face one last time. Your face no longer had it's beautiful glow that it had once cherished. Your aura and personality was completely wiped out of existence as if it was never there. She wanted this to be all a stupid nightmare and to just feel your soothing presence. Hope had to admit that only you and only you alone can look gorgeous while being dead.

“And I'll swear to you that I'll make him suffer. And I'll enjoy every part of it.” Departing with the promise in your ear before getting up to fight Malivore.

“Oh, well, you can't save them all. You win some, you lose some,” Malivore chuckles watching Hope's angered face.

Well, your death fueled the tribid's anger even more and knowing that you had died by Malivore's hand was going to be a lot more painful. She was doing this for the school. For her friends and for herself. And most importantly, she was doing this for you. But let's be realistic here, cause even if you weren't going to be there, you would've have still died either way. This way won’t be just as painful to her.

Looks like promises were made to be broken. Stalking towards the hideous monster menacingly, while she made her blood into a self-made weapon designed just to destroy Malivore.

“This is for my beloved darling [name].” Hope spat as she sticked the stake in his heart enjoying the sounds of agony that fall from Malivore's lips. Once he finished his dramatic tactics, he dropped down to the floor dead.

For effect, lightning struck hard and shoke the earth with its defying sight. With new fresh tears filled in Hope's eyes and her eyes shifted to a yellow. It seemed like Hope was looking for her switch and eventually she found it.

Then it was gone. No more emotions. No more regretfulness or guiltness restored Hope's memory.

At the end of the night, looks like you both lost something. You lost your life while Hope lost her soulmate and humanity. Guess the saying is true; you don't really know if you truly love someone until they're really gone.

“Goodbye [name].” Hope sighed before making a huge ruckus to alarm your parents. Disappearing from your window as she sped of into the night.

“Name], what is the no—“ Bonnie's heart rate picked up at the very dead sight of you. Immediately she rushed towards your body, hoping that her own eyes are betraying her. “Enzo, come quick!”

As soon as she shouted for her husband, he was by her side in minutes and his face faltered at the limp sight of you.

“She has no pulse,” The bennett witch stressed, tears prickling her eyes as she ignored the blood which enveloped her fingers. “Maybe we can do mouth to mouth.”

“Bonnie...” Enzo started, hearing her footsteps retreating to his tall figure.

“Well, we have to do something! She's our only daughter much less child.” Bonnie practically yelled. Refusing to look at his own wife's eyes, the witch turned back to you and started a spell. Based on how powerful the words sounded, it was no doubt a very powerful spell which would clearly kill Bonnie.

Right now, Enzo felt like a bad husband and father but it looks like, he was willing to keep his soulmate alive. It was would you would have wanted.

“Please, Enzo. Let me save our daughter, please.” Bonnie begged, trying to break free from her husband's grip, “I can bring her back like Jeremy so this nightmare of ours can be over.”

“She's gone...our baby is gone.” Enzo soothed her, his heart breaking at the loud sobs from his wife, “No amount of magic can bring her back.”

“We were supposed to protect her and we failed.” She cried, gripping tightly on her husband's now tear stained shirt. “What are we supposed to do now? We can't just leave her here.”

Can't bear to look at your body any longer, she turned her head into her husband's chest as she sobbed violently, hitting his chest repeatedly. While trying to keep his own tears at bay, he held a tight grip on his wife before letting his own tears flow freely.

The sounds of loud sobs erupted from the cabin and Hope’s heart broke a little at this. The couple didn't care if anyone heard them, they just lost their entire world. Trust me when they find out who did this, there would be hell to pay.

#legacies 4 #legacies 4 oneshot #legacies 4 angst #legacies 4 angst oneshot #hope mikaelson #hope mikaelson x reader #hope mikaelson x fem!reader #hope mikaelson x black!reader #hope mikaelson x fem!black!reader #no humanity hope x reader #no humanity hope x fem!reader #benzo x daughter!reader

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